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justfrozenthings · 3 years

Text

A Summer to Remember

Paring: Anna/Kristoff

Rating: T

Word: 5,335

Notes: My piece for the Volume 5 Summer Lovin’ Frozine. To find the complete zine visit the @frozines blog. Huge thank you to @punkpoemprose for putting together another wonderful zine!

Summary: Kristoff and Anna are ready to go on their annual summer vacation to the beach at Ahtohallan. Little does Anna know, Kristoff has a big surprise for her, well...more of a big question really.

Ao3

“Kris!” Anna Arendelle was currently packing for her and her boyfriend’s annual summer vacation to Ahtohallan. It had become an annual thing they have been doing for the past five years since they started dating. It was the first place they went on vacation as a couple and they had fallen so in love with the charming little town that they had decided to visit every year. And while each trip was a little different, it consisted of at least three things that had remained the same: spending as much time as possible at the beach, going to their favorite diner Reindeer Circle as their special dinner, and staying at the charming The Crocus beachside hotel. Little did Anna know, however, that Kristoff had a surprise that would make this trip more than a little bit different.

“Which dress do you think I should wear to the diner?” Anna hollered from their bedroom.

Kristoff stopped what he was doing and sauntered over to their bedroom. He leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed as he admired his girlfriend examining herself in the Rococo style mirror with the two dresses. One was the white sunflower shirtdress that he had gotten her for her twenty-third birthday, because at the time she had an obsession with the 50’s setting movie Grease. The other was a forest green sundress that had lace trimming, he has actually seen her wear this one before, when they went out to eat for his birthday, and he remembered how it hugged her in all the right places and showed off her scattering of freckles.

“I don’t know. You decide. I’m not the one who will be wearing it,” Kristoff said.

Anna pursed her lips. “I know, but I just want to look beautiful enough for you,” she pouted.

A soft smile graced Kristoff’s lips and he walked over to where Anna stood, enveloping her in a loving embrace. He leaned his forehead head against hers causing a small hum to escape her delicate lips.

“Anna, you always look beautiful. Whether you're wearing clothes or not.”

Kristoff pushed back her bangs so that he could get a better look at her bluebell eyes, not unaware of the blush that began to tint her cheeks.

Seeing this as a challenge he leaned down and whispered, “Especially when you’re not.”

Anna’s blush went from a soft pink to a beat red. Successful with what he wanted to accomplish, Kristoff grinned with pride.

“Kristoff!” Anna whined. “I’m being serious.”

“So am I.”

Anna let out a small huff before standing on her toes so she could entwine her hands behind his neck to give him a small peck on the lips.

“You know, sometimes you can be very frustrating.”

“But that’s why you love me.”

“That, and so many other reasons,” Anna smiled.

“Oh yeah?” he chuckled, bumping her nose with his. “And what would those be?”

“Hmm?” Anna tapped her lips with her finger, which should still not be doing things to him.

She put her arms behind her back and gave him a cheeky little grin.

“Not telling.”

“You little minx.”

Anna picked up the dresses she had dropped on the floor during their embrace and held the sunflower one out in front of her.

“You know,” she said, “I think I’ll wear this one. Besides, you gave this to me so that makes it special.”

It was Kristoff’s turn to blush now. She giggled and gave him a peck on the cheek leaving him standing there dumbfounded as she went to put up the other dress.

Later that night, after dinner they snuggled up on the couch watching reruns of The Office. Kristoff ran his fingers through Anna’s fiery hair, and eventually, she nodded off to sleep. He soon joined her in slumber, allowing his mind to drift to a very important tiny box he had hidden in the top shelf of his dresser.

***

Kristoff had woken up from where he fell asleep on the couch last night, careful not to disrupt Anna as he got up to go make breakfast. He knew she liked to sleep in late and the last thing he needed was upsetting the snoring redhead. While Anna was the kindest person she had ever met, she was also scary as hell. Plus, they wouldn’t be leaving for Ahtohallan till a little after noon anyway, so they weren’t in any kind of rush.

He raised his arms above his head and stretched, his shirt rising up a bit to reveal some of his toned stomach.

Turning on the stove, he cracked a few eggs into the frying pan. He made them scrambled, just how Anna liked them. He added an assortment of other things as well like chives and cheese. Early on in their relationship, he had learned that Anna would eat just about anything as long as it had either two things: cheese or chocolate.

The scent of the delicious concoction of eggs, bacon, and biscuits Kristoff whipped up swirled in the air causing Anna to stir in her sleep. She had tried with all her might to not give in to the delectable aroma, but eventually the mouse had fallen for the trap. Her button nose stuck up to get a better whiff. She looked like a little woodland creature in search of food.

She followed the scent all the way into the kitchen to where Kristoff had begun serving everything on their plates.

“You’re up early?” Kristoff teased, knowing very well that this was a rare occurrence.

Anna gave him a small swat on the shoulder. “Oh shush you.” She opened the fridge door to grab the jelly for their biscuits, strawberry for her and grape for him, and set them on the little round table right outside the kitchen.

“Your breakfast m’lady,” Kristoff said, putting on the best posh accent he could muster and giving a small bowl as he placed the dish in front of her.

“Why thank you kind sir,” Anna replied back with a fancy accent of her own.

“So,” Kristoff said, getting Anna to meet her eyes with his. “Are you excited for our trip?”

Anna nodded before shoving a forkful of eggs into her mouth.

“I’m always excited, because it means I get to spend a whole day with you.”

“You see me every day,” Kristoff chuckled, feeling light and happy in his chest. It was a feeling that only Anna was able to give him.

“True, but with work keeping us on our feet and having completely different schedules from one another, we hardly ever get to spend quality time together.”

Anna spread some strawberry jam on her biscuit. Some dripped down the side of her finger and when she licked it, Kristoff could do nothing but stare. It seemed as if with every move she took, made him lose his breath every time.

He must have been staring for quite a while too because suddenly Anna was in his lap with her arms wound around his neck, snapping him out of his reverie. He glanced over to where she was previously sitting across from him and saw that her plate was empty.

She put both her small hands on the side of his face and turned his head so that he was looking at her once again. And when she smashed her lips all he could taste was strawberry jam and Anna, and he would be perfectly fine if time froze in that moment and they stayed that way forever.

“You know strawberry jam may be delicious, but kissing you is always so much sweeter,” Anna sighed.

“You flatter me too much,” Kristoff grinned.

Anna returned the smile before giving him a peck on the lips and leaving to go finish packing any last-minute things.

Kristoff laughed to himself, wondering how he, who came from nothing, had been blessed with Anna, who came from everything.

Anna was the heiress of her father’s manufacturing company, Arendelle Incorporated. Her family had also founded the town they lived in so saying she was popular was a little bit of an understatement. While he was adopted into a family that couldn’t offer much except their love.

Whenever they were out in public people would always whisper. Many believed they didn’t belong together due to their different backgrounds, that Anna was too good for him. But despite all the harsh words and criticism they have received, Anna refused to believe any of it. She said that it doesn’t matter that they come from two different worlds, because she loved him, and love is the strongest thing there is.

With a smile, Kristoff got up from his seat and went into the kitchen to wash his dishes.

***

“Krissss,” Anna groaned, “Are we there yet?”

“We just left the apartment feisty,” he said laughing at his girlfriend’s impatience.

It was a six-and-a-half-hour drive to Ahotohallan, and every single time, no matter how many times they did it, Anna never forgot to show her displeasure for the small road trip. It was rather adorable if Kristoff was being honest.

“But I’m so bored.”

“Turn on the radio.” He grabbed her hand and kissed it before rubbing little circles on it with his thumb. “Besides,…I like it when you sing.”

With a blush, Anna pressed the radio button, flipping through the stations until she settled on one she liked.

A few minutes later she had become lost in the music, singing and doing little dances in her seat as if there was nobody watching. Kristoff loved this view of her. He loved seeing her in her natural element, because it was so Anna and there was nothing better in the world than that. Her voice sounded like birds singing their morning songs when the first light of day appeared over the horizon. She had rolled her window down and her hair looked like a wildfire the way the wind blew through it, making it go in different directions. And Kristoff hoped that he would get to see her like this for the rest of eternity. If Anna accepted the question he had prepared, then that dream would become a reality.

About halfway they had stopped at a burger place to grab some lunch then headed to the nearest gas station to fill up the tank. Anna, of course, couldn’t pass up the opportunity to go inside and grab a few chocolate bars for the road. Kristoff would never understand how someone so small could consume so much of the sweet treat. He was convinced that it wasn’t blood but chocolate sauce that flowed through her veins.

He laughed when she came out holding twelve chocolate bars, saying that there were too many to choose from and that she didn’t want the other chocolate bars to feel bad for not choosing them so the only logical thing to do was to buy one of each. She also said that she would space them out during their trip, but he just shook his head and smiled knowing fully well that all twelve candy bars would not make it by the time they arrived at the hotel.

***

Unfortunately, it took a little longer than usual to arrive at the hotel due to some heavy traffic. Neither of them minded though, because it just meant Anna had more time to sing at the top of her lungs and having little conversations that usually ended with them saying how much they loved one another.

Anna hopped out of the car, “Finally! We’re here!” She hopped up and down on the tips of her toes and clapped her hands together. She looked like a little kid who was about to receive their ice cream cone. “Now we can finally relax and get our vacation started!” She squealed with excitement.

“Don’t get too worked up just yet feistypants. I still have to check-in,” Kristoff chuckled as he made his way over to her with their bags.

The Crocus may not have been five stars, but it was affordable and convenient because it was right on the beach. Kristoff and Anna had never been ones for fancy things anyway.

Anna sat in the lobby admiring the coziness of it all while she waited for Kristoff to return with their room keys. Though she had been here many a time, the homey little hotel never failed to take her breath away.

Speaking of things that took her breath away, Anna was getting a rather pleasant view of Kristoff’s butt from where he stood at the front desk. Those jeans were definitely doing his ass a lot of favors.

The scene had put Anna in such a deep trance that she didn’t even notice that Kristoff had left and made his way over to her.

“Room 209.”

Anna shook her head, bringing herself back to reality. “Hm?”

“Our room,” Kristoff said. “It’s 209.”

“Oh! Um.Our room.209. Got it!” Anna stuttered hoping that he didn’t catch her ogling his butt a few minutes ago.

“Are you okay?” Kristoff raised an eyebrow.

Blood rushed up to her cheeks. “Never better!” She got up and grabbed the handle of her suitcase, staring there awkwardly as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and bit her lip. “Let’s head up shall we.”

She rushed past Kristoff leaving him standing there dumbfounded as to what had just happened before he followed her towards the elevator.

Anna threw herself on the bed sighing with contentment. “Finally!,” she exclaimed. “We can relax and begin our vacation.”

Kristoff joined his girlfriend on the bed grinning at the image of her snuggled up into the pillow with her eyes peering at him. She looked like a kitten curled up in a blanket.

Kristoff pressed her frame against his, his large arms swallowing her in a tight hug. “Just a whole week of just you, me, and spending quality time at one of our favorite places together.”

Anna hummed in agreement. He kissed the top of her head and relished in her soft honeysuckle-scented hair.

They stayed curled up with one another for hours it seemed, one never wanting to let the other go. The peacefulness of the moment, eventually bringing both to a deep slumber.

It was around 5:00 when Kristoff woke up. He figured he would let Anna sleep in a little more before then went and grabbed some dinner.

Carefully unwinding himself from Anna he silently walked over to his suitcase. Unzipping the front pocket he took out the tiny box containing the ring. It glimmered back at him and he looked over his shoulder to make sure Anna hadn’t woken up; if she had seen him the jig would be up.

He ever so quietly put the box back in the small corner of his front bag pocket. He had decided to wake Anna up at 6:00, and for the time being he made himself a cup of tea and got out the chapter book he had currently been reading.

When 6:00 rolled around Kristoff had woken Anna up just as he had planned. Anna quickly fixed her lion's mane that she always got after a good rest and looked up restaurants nearby on her phone to find a place to eat. Settling on an Italian place they headed out the door and down to the lobby.

For dinner they shared a plain cheese pizza, Anna never cared much for toppings. They laughed over stories about moments shared together in their past, with dreams of creating more in the future. And every time Anna’s soft lips wrapped around the straw to take a sip of her Coke she would lick the droplets off her lips causing a pulse to surge through Kristoff’s body. The simple things that woman could do to him was uncanny.

When the check came they had both blushed when the waitress deemed them “The Cutest Couple Ever.”

Now, after a quick stroll through the park, they found themselves back in their bed tangled up in their sheets as they held one another.

Anna absentmindedly twirled the hair on his chest with her index finger, breathing in his woodsy aroma and listening to the beating of his heart. She placed a soft kiss there, “I love it when we get to share moments like this,” she sighed. “Moments where we can let all our worries run free and sunker down into each other's embrace.”

“Yeah. Me too.” Kristoff stroked his fingers through her unruly hair.

“I was always alone when I was little, so I thought I’d never get to have anything like this. I never thought I’d feel as loved as I do now. But then you happened Kristoff Bjorgman. You crashed into my life and changed it for the better.” She propped herself up on her elbows and stared down at him. “I love you, and I will always love you forever and always.”

Kristoff pushed a strand of hair behind her ears, tears welling in his from the sweet words that had just left Anna’s mouth. “I love you too. To the ends of the earth and back.”

Wrapped up in each other’s love, all that could be heard that night were Anna’s soft snores and the heartbeats of two people who were madly in love.

***

Anna woke up, her head still resting on Kristoff’s chest. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and stared at Kristoff’s sleeping form. He looked like an angel. A very tall blonde muscular angel.

She stroked his hair and he looked up at her drowsily, cracking a lopsided grin.

“Hey beautiful,” he said, bringing her fingers up to his lips for a kiss.

“Hey yourself.” She smiled back at him and he was lost again.

“So?,” he pulled her tighter to his chest. “What would you like to do today?”

Anna tapped her pursed lips. “Hmm…how about we go to the beach? We had a long day of traveling yesterday so I would just kind of like to have a chill day. Know what I mean?”

He pressed a line of kisses from her cheekbone down to the base of her neck and stayed there for a while. “Sounds perfect.”

Anna went to her suitcase to pull out her swimsuit while Kristoff got ready in the bathroom (which didn’t take long at all). Kristoff, unlike Anna, was never really one who cared much about his looks. Of course he made sure he kept up with his hygiene, but for everyday wear, he usually rocked some sort of simple T-shirt and let his hair go wild and free. Oftentimes, people would give him nasty for how unkempt and long his hair was, but Anna liked it that way and to him, that was all that mattered.

When he stepped out of the bathroom his girlfriend looked at him with hungry eyes and he almost had half a mind to strip them both down of any article of clothing and go back to being wrapped up in the sheets. It also didn’t help that Anna gave him a seductive wink when she passed him to go into the bathroom.

It was Anna’s turn to walk out of the bathroom and Kristoff had given her the same look she gave him just a few moments ago.

She wore a black 50’s style one-piece bathing suit with white polka dots. Her hair was put up in a messy bun, the little whispys that had escaped it framing her angelic face with perfection.

His eyes were wild with lust as he looked at the goddess that was his girlfriend.

Anna must have known that the sight of her was making him swoon too because she rubbed her pale star scattered freckled thighs together as she bit her lip peering up at him with shy yet mischievous eyes.

“What do you think?”

He lost all control over his body as he sauntered towards smashing his lips against hers.

“I think,” he whispered into her and her butt a little squeeze, “that I must have the sexiest girlfriend on the planet.”

“Kristoff!” She swatted his chest. “You can’t say things like that.” A blush rose to her cheeks which only made him more confident to tease her a bit more.

“In fact, you're so sexy that I think we should skip going to the beach and hop right back in bed.” He nibbled behind her ear.

“Besides,” he smirked, “I don’t want other guys drooling all over you.”

“Ah, ah, ah,” Anna tsked, wagging her finger. “We only get to come here once a year, mister. We’re going to the beach.”

“Fine,” he groaned. “But, don’t get mad at me if I have to fight someone for flirting with you.”

Anna threw her head back and laughed. “I don’t think you need to worry about that. I highly doubt anybody is going to hit on me.You? Yes. People will for sure be wanting a piece of you. But me? No way in hell.”

“You know I really wish you wouldn’t talk that way. You make it sound as if you're not attractive.”

“That’s because I’m not.”

She started to turn the door handle before Kristoff shoved her up against the wood and pressed his mouth over hers in a firm kiss.

“Don’t,” Kristoff breathed across her lips, “you dare say that. You are the most beautiful being on the planet and I pity anyone who doesn’t agree with me.”

Tears gleamed in Anna’s, making her blue orbs sparkle like the ocean right outside of their hotel. Words got caught in her throat and the only thing she could do was reply back with a kiss.

***

Anna couldn’t believe it, but Kristoff had been right. They were lounging in their beach chairs when Anna decided to go grab them drinks from the bar. After placing her order and taking a seat at the countertop while she waited for them, a tall skinny man with eyes of emerald green and dark auburn hair with sideburns took a seat right next to her. He pulled his stool closer, and when Anna had tried moving away he would scoot right next to her again.

Anna stood up to move down to another stool, but as she started to walk away a slender hand gently gripped her tiny wrist.

Anna’s heart dropped as she slowly turned her head to look at the stranger with frightened eyes.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable miss. It’s just that, when I see a woman as beautiful as you I can’t help but wanna introduce myself.”

“That’s very flattering of you to say-I think-but I do have a boyfriend.” Anna made sure to elaborate on the word “boyfriend” to make it clear that she was unavailable and that hopefully the guy would leave her alone.

“Well, that’s too bad.” He gave her a sweet sinister smile and fear washed over her.

He still held her wrist and when she tried to break free he pulled her to him.

“However,” he paused to kiss her hand. “I’m sure he won’t mind if I borrow you for a little while.”

Anna looked over his shoulder with frantic eyes, hoping to find a bartender or some other beach guest who would notice her discomfort. Kristoff was on the other side of the bar and out of sight from her so she couldn’t rely on him either, though if he were to have seen the situation Anna had no doubt he would be here in a heartbeat.

She would have to deal with the problem on her own.

“Actually,” Anna furrowed her brow trying to put on the sternest look possible. “I don’t think he would. And quite frankly I wouldn’t appreciate it very much either. Now I already told you I am not interested so please respect my wishes and leave me alone,” she huffed.

She pushed him away before he grabbed hold of her waist and pressed her body against his once more.

“Come on darling, don't be that way. I promise to show you a good time.”

Anna tried to wriggle from his grasp, but he was surprisingly strong for such a scrawny man.

“No!,” she screamed, finally turning the heads of those around them. “Let me go! Leave me alone!”

She twisted and turned but to no avail could she break free; that was until a fist had collided with her aggressor’s face.

Screams and gasps spread throughout the beach like a tidal wave.

Looking up to see her hero’s face, she cried a breath of relief to find Kristoff standing over the man’s limp body, seething with anger.

Kristoff grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pressed him up against the countertop. “If I ever catch you near my girlfriend again you can be sure I’ll do more than just punch you.”

Kristoff threw him back onto the ground standing tall and brooding, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched him skimper away like a scared dog.

He turned to Anna, his face softening as he brought her into a warm hug.

She rested her head against his shoulder, her small frame small trembling against his large one. He placed a kiss there as he gently caressed her hair.

He pulled back to look at her, “You okay?”

“I am now, thanks to you.” She smiled softly at him and he kissed her forehead.

“Were you scared?”

“Only a little, but I’m glad you came to my rescue.”

He gave her one of his iconic sappy grins and it made her heart flutter.

“Always.” He rested his cheek against the top of her head. “Even though I know you could have totally kicked his ass.”

“Damn right I could have.”

Kristoff gave a whole-hearted laugh and Anna joined in, her giggles creating a symphony with his chuckles.

The rest of the day was spent splashing each other in the salty waters of the ocean, buried each other in the sand, held a sandcastle contest-which Anna had won- and ended with them holding each other close as they watched the sunset beneath the horizon.

When they arrived back at the room they hopped in the shower helping one another wash the salt out of their hair.

Once more they were now tangled in the sheets of their love, drifting off to sleep with the sound of the other’s heartbeat.

***

For the next few days, Anna and Kristoff spent their time going on hikes, shopping at their favorite local stores, visiting the town’s attractions, and so on.

Now, on their last night here, Kristoff sat at the foot of their bed dressed in the best casual clothes he had, fumbling with the small box he held in his hands. Anna was still in the bathroom “making herself pretty,” as she called it even though he told her that she was beautiful just the way she was.

Taking one last deep breath he put the ring in the little gift bag he bought to carry it in. Since he wasn’t wearing a suit he didn’t have a pocket to hide it in except for his jeans, but Anna would for sure be able to make out the outline of the box if he did that.

“Whatcha got there?”

Kristoff jumped at the sound of Anna’s voice behind him. He was so deep in thought that he hadn’t heard her come out of the bathroom and accidentally run into the dresser cursing, as she walked up to him.

“Oh! Uh…it’s nothing!,” he stuttered.

“Kristoff I love you I really do, but please don’t take this the wrong way when I say you have never been a very good liar.”

Caving into Anna’s persistence he picked the bag off the ground and showed it to her. He had wanted to keep it a secret, but knew his nosy girlfriend wouldn’t stop pestering him until she got what she wanted.

“I got you a gift. You know just a little something to show how much I love you.” He gave her a dopey smile before adding, “But, it’s for after dinner. So no peeking.”

“Aww, Kristoff! That’s very sweet of you, but you don’t need to get me a gift to prove that you love me. I know that by heart.”

Her words made his heart flutter and he took her hand rubbing small circles over before kidding each one of her fingers.

“You ready?,” she said, breaking the silence.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” he said more to himself than to her.

Together they walked the quiet streets that guided them to their destination and before long they had arrived at a familiar little diner with a big retro light-up sign that said Reindeer Circle.

They preferred their usuals, for Anna a large chocolate shake with extra whip cream and a plate of chicken fingers with curly fries, and for Kristoff a hamburger with regular fries-though he knew Anna would probably eat some of them-and a glass of water.

They chatted and laughed as they enjoyed their meals, the time encroaching ever so closer for Kristoff to pop his big question. And as the waitress had taken their dishes away, he decided that it was now or never.

“Anna?”

She had turned her attention away from the window and back to him. “Hm?,” she sighed dreamily, gently squeezing their clasped hands in the middle of the table.

“I think it may be time for me to give you your present.”

Interest piqued in her eyes and she lifted her head from where it rested in the palm of her hand.

“Oh? Really?!” She clapped her hands together, unable to contain her excitement.

“Um? Yeah…just let me,” he cleared his throat, “let me prepare myself right quick.”

“Prepare yourself? Kristoff what are you-”

She was cut off mid-sentence at the sight of Kristoff, down on one knee holding open a box with a ring, in front of her.

“Anna Arendelle you are the most extraordinary person I ever had the pleasure of meeting. Before you, I thought my destiny was to just live on my own for the rest of my life. But, you came crashing into it with your infectious love and proved me wrong. They say everyone has an angel, and you are mine. Will make me that happiest man on earth, and marry me?”

Tears formed in Anna’s eyes and she threw herself into Kristoff’s arms, peppering kisses all over his face.

“Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!”

Applause spread through the diner and Kristoff spun Anna in the air, kissing her deeply as he slid the ring in her finger.

Anna admired it. In the middle was a stone of amber on a gold band with intricate petal designs that had made it look like a sunflower. It was so perfect and knowing that it was Kristoff who picked it out caused her heart to overflow with overwhelming love and desire for him.

After the excitement had settled, they had already begun discussing wedding plans.

“I think we should have it here, in Ahotohallan. On the beach,” Anna said with a smile.

“Unless…you know…you would rather have it somewhere else. I just thought it would be cute to have it at a place we both loved, and I always dreamed of having a beach wedding since I was a little girl. I always thought it was romantic. But, if you don’t think it’s a good idea I totally understand! You know what, forget I said anything it’s stupid.”

“Hey! Hey! Anna!,” he cradled her face in his calloused palms and brushed a thumb across her ivory freckled cheek. “I wouldn’t want to have it any other way.”

That night as Anna lay in the comfort of Kristoff’s arms, she stared at the ring glistening in the moonlight that shone through the window with visions of many more summer vacations to come.

#kristanna #kristanna fanfiction #my fanfiction #frozine #summer lovin frozine #fanfiction

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theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 3 years

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Lily (from "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus", what else?) and Lenin and maybe some other people? Watch "Heathers". Reactions? Or what they get transported there? Sorry, it's just that I'm in this Heathers-obsession phase and since I love your work so much (and the fact that Trotsky is kinda sorta like JD) I've been wondering about a crossover like that. I honestly have no idea what your answer to this will entail.

I’ve been musing on this one for a bit now but I suppose it’s time to dig in and answer.

First, I’m not usually a fan of the “X characters watch Y thing” so we’re going to avoid that. Also, to Wizard Lenin, it’d undoubtedly be yet another one of Lily’s weird 80′s movies that she loves so much and forces him to watch. It’s less gory than Predator, but dammit Lily, high school isn’t like this!

Getting transported there is a similarly weird story. It’s such a muggle setting that it really doesn’t mesh well with the “Sisyphus” cast. Why would Lily and Wizard Lenin be stuck in this high school in Ohio? Would they even do anything besides go “That JD kid sure is weird” and “Wow, the death count here is higher than Hogwarts!”? Point being, I can’t imagine they’d get entangled in the true plot of “Heathers” and at best would be providing riff track commentary on this crazy high school.

So, instead, let’s go the good old fusion route. Let’s make the world of “Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus” just a bit more like “Heathers” and see how it pans out.

Because “Heathers” is all about the destruction of society from within, we’re axing Voldemort. Sorry, Tom, you got stuck in a magical mirror, eaten by bears, or something after 1943 and are going to be Sir Not Appearing in this Universe. As a result, there’s no Voldemort, but the deep societal issues that Tom took advantage of very much remain and are flourishing.

In this world, Lily is still a god, but is not immediately recognized as such by being the girl who lived. Instead, she’s just a strange, dangerously overpowered, nuisance that nobody likes. And her home life is trash.

I imagine in the world without Voldemort, Death Eaters, and a second war Lily and James’ marriage quickly crumbles. This is mainly due to the stress of marriage but also due to having a gifted, ridiculously intelligent, and creepy child. Within a few years, Lily Evans has the audacity to do what is never done: she divorces her pureblood lord husband and tries to vie for child custody. She loses, of course, as she’s a muggle born woman, and is basically banished from ever seeing her kid again.

James never really gets over this, Ellie looking so much like Lily Evans certainly not helping matters, and over the years grows very cold to her. She’s not a son so is useless to inherit, she’s nothing like him, and she’s just an all around disappointment. James very quickly gets remarried for political purposes, marrying a far less scandelous pureblood witch from pick your prestigious family, and they have a son meaning that Lily is no longer heir.

Lily thus attends Hogwarts as essentially the half-blood Potter. She’s for all intents and purposes a bastard child, one barely acknowledged by her father, and is also weird. As a result I imagine she’s bullied relentlessly much in the manner Luna is. For years.

I imagine Luna Lovegood is her only friend, as the pair have bonded over constantly having their stuff destroyed and being locked out of their dormitories.

Enter Lily’s seventh year and thus the plot.

The outside world is looming and Lily effectively has no future. Despite being the daughter of Lord Potter, she’s in a similar position that Tom Riddle was. She won’t be hired into the Ministry or basically any position thanks to her dubious heritage as well as the fact that no one likes her.

Mostly, she just wants out. She wants out of the country where everyone knows exactly who she is and where she came from. Her best hope for this is employment with the goblins but she needs recommendations from a professor. Her best bet is Slughorn, but while he’s always been awed of her ability after seven years of Lily the charm has worn off. Lily has never received an invitation to the Slug Club.

Lily realizes that to get out she must become popular so someone can vouch for her to Slughorn. Not to mention her life might become slightly, slightly, less miserable. So, Lily approaches the Heathers. Much like in the film/musical, Lily offers her services to them for the fee of making nice, pretending to like her, and getting her an in with Slughorn.

This spirals out of control as the Heathers instead do the makeover and make Lily suddenly cool. She’s suddenly invited to parties, people talk to her, it’s a whole new world.

Around this time, Lily in the room of requirement happens to stumble across the diary (nevermind how he gets there, we’ll pretend Tom just never managed to smuggle him out of the castle). Tom has been trapped in there, dying, and Lily obliviously informs him that all his ambitions and sacrifices amounted to nothing. There was no dark lord after Grindelwald, she’s never heard of a Tom Riddle, and everything she describes makes it sound like nothing has changed.

Tom Riddle inexplicably vanished off the face of the earth leaving only the diary behind.

Naturally, Tom is very pissed about this, and sets about plotting how he can return, trying to get Lily to open up by asking her for help returning him to his body. Lily does him one better and just returns him to his body without any sacrifice, casually remarking that she’s always been like this as long as she can remember, fully accepting Tom to yell “SHE’S A WITCH! BURN HER!” to her face as everyone else does.

Tom, however, is floored and everything he’s ever known to be true is thrown out the window. He decides to make Lily his new pet project.

Unfortunately for him, by this point Lily has a Slug Club to attend, only it goes horribly wrong. The Heathers have purposefully set about humiliating Luna, Lily’s only friend, and Lily has to very publicly break ties with them even though it means sacrificing her only real chance of leaving the country with gainful employment. Worse, the Heathers promise wrath the likes of which Lily has never seen before.

Lily, devastated and despairing, goes back to Tom and confesses all the shitiness of her extremely shitty life and how she doesn’t even know what the Heathers will do to her now. Tom finds this a little odd, as Lily has quickly proven herself the most powerful person on the planet, but he’s willing to play along. More to the point, Lily and Tom’s relationship goes from 0 to 100 as he is not only the first guy to show interest in her but he’s very very interested and very very hot. When Lily decides to beg Alpha Heather for forgiveness, Tom notes that he’ll come with, he’s better with people than she is.

Tom, having hit a low point of nihilist rage thanks to Voldemort having amounted to nothing, poisons Alpha Heather and dutifully covers for Lily by writing her suicide note. This works. There is an ecstasy of joyous grief throughout the school as staff and students alike confess how they never knew the true Heather. Lily is astounded, Tom is ecstatic.

Lily tries to return to life as normal, goes back to hanging out with Luna, but also has to introduce Tom to the school. Tom suggests she mind wipes everyone, that makes Lily uncomfortable, so she instead confesses what she believes is the truth in that Tom was trapped in an enchanted object. Dumbledore nearly has a stroke, but since Tom Riddle never became Voldemort, it’s more that this is a solution to an unsolved mystery and the castle is glad Tom isn’t actually dead. They’d thought he got hit by one of those muggle bombs during WWIII or whatever it was the muggles had going on.

HA HA HA HA, but no, Tom says in response.

In the meantime Tom gets to witness Lily’s weird and strained relationship with her father, his friends, and her younger half-brother. Tom points out that Lily seeking out gainful employment is unnecessary. Lily doesn’t have to be a part of society, like all these worthless people around her, she’s so powerful that she can do whatever she likes however she likes it. She can simply leave the country, she could become a dark lord even, there’s nothing stopping her. Lily’s never thought of it like that before, to become a true part of society, to be accepted on some level by that society, has always just seemed like the obvious path to her. What else would she do?

Due to this, Lily and Tom’s relationship continues to grow as they’re really the first people to see each other as they are. Naturally, this is when shit hits the fan. Thanks to Tom, Lily’s invited to another Slug Club with him (Tom can still become minister even if he was trapped in a book for fifty years! Slughorn says). Lily gets hit on and nearly sexually assaulted by some of the boys there, Lily gets out, but the next day rumor circulates around the school that Lily was in a threesome with them.

Tom Riddle sets up a ridiculous scheme in which he fakes their murder suicide where they confess to being homosexual. Lily is increasingly horrified. The school, once again, is in an ecstasy of joyful grief over the loss of these two, beautiful, oppressed, gay souls. Lily realizes that Tom is A Bad Dude (TM) and tries to confront him. He easily confesses he cares nothing about these people and has decided he wants to watch society burn. These are the people who thought he had died in the Blitz and did nothing. They are people who cannot and will not change. They’re the absentee fathers who dote on far less powerful, pureblood, sons. Tom has officially, completely, given up on the wizarding world and now he will destroy it as quickly and horrifically as he can. Lily, not belonging to society, can pour the kerosene on with him.

This is getting a little too gnarly for Lily and she dumps Tom.

Unfortunately, he quickly becomes exceedingly popular thanks to his angelic face, his natural charm and charisma, and his understanding of people. He passes around a petition for suicide and bullying awareness that everybody and their brother signs. What they’re really signing is pages from the diary which, much like Death Note, promises him both their magic and their life force.

Tom confronts Lily and admits he’s going to murder everybody, an entire generation of wizards and witches gone in an instant, AND LILY CAN BE HIS DARK QUEEN! Lily and Tom get into a fight, Tom accidentally murders the shit out of her and is devestated, only of course for Lily to wake up later after he’s left because she was unwittingly immortal this whole time.

Rising from the dead, Lily hunts Tom down before he can blow up the school, and sucks him back into the diary. Upon graduation Lily makes up with Luna, still has no prospects and plans to go and be homeless in India, has hesitantly gotten in contact with Lily Evans, basically has no contact left with her father, and has a boyfriend diary named Tom who might be let out in fifty years if he promises not to blow up a school.

#ask #anon #lily and the art of being sisyphus #heathers

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whosaskingwrites · 3 years

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The Sound Of Love (Tsukishima x Reader)

A/N: Um I don't like this one as much as the others but I did my best. It honestly took forever cause I didn't want to write it and I had no idea what song to use but I eventually decided so here we are.

WARNINGS: angst

Date: Saturday November 7th, 2020

Details: 5.3 pages 2,000 words

Theme: Musicalia- The victim will hear a song constantly playing in their head until it drives them insane. The person of affection will only hear the music when they are around the victim.

Angst Masterlist

Clair De Lune

A simple, beautiful piano melody that had been repeating in my head for weeks. There was never a reprieve from the beautifully haunting melody. My mind followed the sound like a moth to a flame and deteriorated the closer it got to the music.

No amount of holding my hands over my ears stopped it. It had become a part of me like the backround music in a video game or movie. However this wasn't a video game or a movie this was real. Every day was the same never a rest I couldn't even sleep some nights.

This was my last week at Karasuno before I was put in the hospital. My mind was too far gone to stay out I couldn't really hear anything anymore to distracted by the music and of course I hummed it on occasion. Everyone in my classes knew I had it...Musicalia but they didn't know who caused it.

Monday

I walked to class with a sigh Yamaguchi was following and as we walked I heard a gentle piano melody that got louder. I spotted a familiar H/c haired girl fast walking past me like she'd done since I pushed her away. Yamaguchi followed my eyesight and the music faded the further away she got "you should apologize you know. This week is her last at Karasuno," I blinked 'her last week?' I thought "Shut up Yamaguchi," I said keeping my emotions off my face "Sorry Tsukki," I continued watching the S/c skinned female rush off down the hall.

Tuesday

I was walking up to the roof ready to reject another girl. Why they felt the need to confess to me of all people id never understand. As I rounded the corner someone ran into me and with a short shriek they fell. I was about to say something when I noticed who it was...Y/n she looked paler than I remembered and eye bags were prevalent on her face. I heard the piano again it was louder than ever.

"Do you need to listen to music that loud?" I asked though it was harsher than intended. Her eyes widened and I held back a frown as I saw she was afraid. "S-sorry," she stood up quickly and ran off down the hall the music fading the further she got and I watched 'why was she afraid of me?' My eyes caught something on the floor which I turned to. Picking it up I realized it was a simple gold bracelet with a dinosaur charm on it.

"This is...," It was the bracelet id given her three years ago on her birthday. It was still in perfect condition looking like it did on the day I'd given it to her and it caused a small smile to pull at my lips as I pocketed the familiar bracelet.

Wednesday

Everytime I spotted the e/c eyed female in the hallway and approached her she would turn and run the music following her. Nobody ever seemed bothered by the piano it was almost like they didn't hear it and Y/n was never wearing headphones when it was playing. "Does she ever stop listening to that song?" I mumbled to myself as she ran away yet again.

"What song?" Yamaguchi asked next to me I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked at him. "What do you mean what song? That damn piano music she's always listening to it's annoying," I said and Yamaguchi’s eyes widened "Tsukki...She's not listening to any music...," He stated.

I blinked as I processed what that meant "No ive heard it-," Yamaguchi cut me off before I could continue he had a sad look in his eyes and as he spoke I realized why. "She's got Musicalia Tsukki...," He whispered as he looked at me. "She...She what?" I asked. "She's got Musicalia and if you can hear it that means...," my own eyes widened as I realized what he was implying. "Oh...,"

Thursday

Cornering someone who was avoiding you was much more difficult than you'd think. Everytime I ended up even in the same room as her she ran before I could even get near her. "Yamaguchi," I stated causing him to jump. "Yeah?" He nervously asked. "Can you convince Y/n to meet you on the roof?" I asked. He didn't ask any questions he just nodded mumbling a quiet yeah as the teacher walked in the room.

I stood on the roof looking out towards the gym. I heard footsteps come around the corner and stop before they slowly started backing away. "Can you stop running? I need to talk to you," I said. The footsteps stopped and I turned around. Y/n stood a few feet away nervously shuffling on her feet.

"When were you gonna tell me?" I asked and she sighed "Preferably never," She answered and I furrowed my eyebrows. "Never? This could kill you!" I took a step toward her while she took one back "So what?" She spit bitterly rasing her head up to glare. "So what? So everything!" I shouted.

"So everything? You dont even fucking like me! You made that pretty clear last year!" She yelled back. She was referencing an argument that I barely remembered and that she hadn't forgotten. "Do you even know what its like to have your heart crushed in seconds!?" She screamed. "You still should have told me you have Musicalia!" I glared back.

She just gave me a bitter smile "I suppose my dear this was how it was meant to be," she stretched her arms out as she spoke and tears dripped down her face at a slow pace. "You dying isn't how it's supposed to be!" She only shook her head in response. I stuck my hand in my pocket and pulled out the bracelet. "Here...just take this back," I said holding it out. She walked forward and I heard that gentle and haunting music get louder.

She stopped closing my hand around the bracelet and leaning up to press a kiss against my cheek. "Keep it I won't have a use for it much longer," she mumbled before turning and walking off. "Y/n!" She stopped but didn't turn around and I continued speaking. "I love you," she sighed and turned her head. The sunset cast her in an ethereal glow and sparkled off the remaining tears on her face.

She gave a sad, watery smile in response. "No you don't Tsukki. If you did...You would have come back to me a lot sooner," she turned and left I knew she was right but god it hurt to hear her say that. My hand was still tightly closed around the bracelet the metal uncomfortably warm against my skin as she walked away from me.

Friday

She avoided me even more. I never saw her but I heard the music following around on occasion. After yesterday I had looked for the melody finally hearing it long enough to search for it. The results had told me the song was Clair De Lune I should have known. It was Y/n's favorite song though I doubted she liked it now.

I had tried to find her when I heard the music but even if I followed it I never found her. I was walking toward my locker keeping an ear out for that melody. As I opened the locker a f/c envelope fell out as I picked it up I noticed it was sealed with a gold wax stamp. Flipping it over my name was written on the front in flowing cursive. I put it away in my bag before heading to practice.

I flipped the envelope around in my hand staring at it before sighing. I pulled open the envelope and slipped the contents out. The first was a photo of me, Y/n, and Yamaguchi we were standing in the park in the photo. Y/n and Yamaguchi had their arms over eachothers shoulders while I stood in the background glaring towards the camera.

The other thing was a letter that I was hesitant to flip open. I knew the letter was from Y/n but I for the first time felt afraid on what she had to say. Sighing I opened the letter ready to read it.

Dear Kei,

It's been awhile hasn't it? Though That's what happens after fights. You give each other time to calm down and then you come back. Only this time...There is no coming back. You already know I have Musicalia and I'm sure you know I love you. It's weird to write that to someone you know doesn't love you.

Don't lie either. You don't love me the way I love you. You may think you do but if you had we would have been friends again by now. But you were perfectly content with not having me in your life so I know you'll be fine when I'm actually gone.

That's the issue isn't it? I'll be gone soon really, truly...gone. I'm not afraid knowing my death is approaching im...content and at peace with it. My death won't be glorious. I'm not going out with a bang. Or any final inspirational words. I'll go quietly in my sleep hopefully. Sleep however is hard when there's music constantly playing on loop in your head.

When I'm gone Kei...Will you visit me? Tell me about your day or the volleyball team! Yamaguchi told me about the team you should go easier on them. You should also learn from them you know? Anyways if you ever can't make it to me...Play Clair De Lune and I'll go to you! I'll listen to you talk at your place instead of you coming to mine!

I'm sure you know by now that this is my goodbye letter. Don't act so suprised of course I want to say goodbye to you. You're important to me you should know that. I've written this for awhile but I wanted it to be a good final goodbye since its immortalized forever in a letter. If you share this with anyone I'll kill you by the way. Even in death I still have a reputation. Anyway...

Goodbye Kei

I love you

—Y/n L/n

A month had passed since she said goodbye I moved forward even though it hurt to not see her around school. It almost felt like she moved but that imagine was ruined whenever I visited her grave. "Hey Tsukki I didn't know you liked dinosaurs!" I sighed in irritation my eyes flicking towards Kuroo who was pointing at my wrist.

"Wow that's cool!" Bokuto joined in and my eyes drifted to the golden bracelet around my wrist. "It's not mine," I stated drinking my water. "Whos is it?" Akaashi asked and I sighed again. "My friend Y/n’s...She's gone now and I'd rather not talk about it," I said standing up and heading back to the net. None of them said anything more about it and I was grateful for that.

Later that night I closed my eyes and played the song that I had grown very familiar with. It was quiet except for the soft melody playing through my headphones. While my eyes were closed I felt the familiar pressure on my body like someone was laying on my chest. If I listened through my headphones close enough I could almost hear her soft voice humming the song.

I knew in my brain it was impossible but for now I let my heart believe that it was her. I talked quietly about anything and everything that came to mind. The team was sleeping so I knew I could talk freely most of them slept like they were in a coma. I sighed as I reached the end of my story before I spoke once more.

"I miss you Y/n,"

————————————————————————

TAGLIST: @wonhomarshmallow

#haikyu #haikyu x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#whosaskingangst #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei #haikyuu tsukishima #tsukishima angst

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serene-faerie · 4 years

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21st Anniversary of The Prince of Egypt

To think this movie is already 21 years old (fun fact, this movie came out the date before my birthday, in the year after my birth), and it’s such a beautiful masterpiece!

To celebrate, here’s a list of my favourite moments in no particular order:

1) Deliver Us- This song is perhaps my most favourite song in the whole movie. It’s epic, bitter, and the music is so rhythmic as it captures the suffering of the Hebrews and sets the tone for the rest of the film. There’s also the brief glimmer of hope it offers when baby Moses is found by Queen Tuya, who immediately takes him in after being completely charmed by his adorableness, and Miriam’s lovely reprise of Yocheved’s River Lullaby. And of course, we cannot forget Ofra Haza’s amazing vocals as Yocheved, especially with how she sings in Hebrew in her introduction. She had such a divine voice, and she shall be missed forever.

2) The Plagues- Of course, this song will also be one of my favourites as well. The emotion in the music, the way the choir sounds so intimidating as they sing lines like “I send the thunder from the sky, I send the fire raining down”, it truly conveys God’s wrath, all while underscoring the turbulent emotional conflict between Moses and Rameses. Hearing the pain in Moses’ voice as he’s forced to watch the Egyptians suffer, and hearing the bitter anger in Rameses’ voice as he remains stubborn to Moses’ pleading... this song is truly a masterpiece. It also really shows how human Moses is. The Old Testament never really shows Moses feeling any remorse for the suffering that the Egyptians go through, but this movie makes Moses so human, so much more real, and shows how he still cares about Egypt, even as he’s trying to free his people.

3) The Return to Egypt- I love the music that plays during Moses and Tzipporah’s journey back to Egypt, especially with the additions of Ofra Haza’s beautiful vocals that underscore the suffering of the Hebrew slaves. And that determined, serious expression on Moses’ face as they near the palace just makes him look so badass, especially when he and Tzipporah enter the palace and make their way to the Pharaoh. I especially loved the festive undercurrent of that particular section of the soundtrack, with Moses and Tzipporah walking with determination into the great hall as the people look at them in surprise and suspicion, all while the dancers are dancing before the Pharaoh. It’s quite a phenomenal scene, really heightening the tension to reveal the Pharaoh upon the throne as Rameses, upon which the music ends. It’s such a determined, badass scene that I just had to include it here.

4) Look Through Heaven’s Eyes- After Moses has lost everything he’s ever known, after his entire life has been destroyed, he feels so unworthy of honour and praise. But with Jethro’s patience and kindness, the help of the Midianites, and the support of Tzipporah, Moses rebuilds a brand new life for himself as a shepherd. It’s such an uplifting song with beautiful lyrics that encourages us to look at our lives in a different perspective, that we all have meaning within us, we just have to find it. And really, it’s so wonderful to see how Moses learns and adapts to a new way of living, how he makes new friends, and of course, how blissful and happy he is after marrying Tzipporah. Plus, seeing Moses and Tzipporah falling in love is super sweet. Ultimately, it’s a song that I’ve now taken to heart, and will remember if I’m ever stuck in a rut.

5) The Burning Bush- Who can ever forget this scene, when Moses meets God? Oh my gosh, it is such an amazingly powerful scene; from the wistful music that plays when Moses discovers the burning bush to the way the bush flowers after God speaks to Moses... I really have to hand it to the filmmakers; they’ve successfully managed to capture the powerful and almighty presence of God. I love how God chastises Moses for questioning Him, then immediately comforts Moses like a loving parent, promising him that He will be there with him, just like any parent would say. It truly is a wonderful, amazing scene that’ll always leave me breathless. Also worth mentioning is the moment before, when Moses gives Tzipporah a kiss in the morning, and after the scene, when he picks Tzipporah up and twirls her around a bit. It’s so sweet and touching to watch, and they’re just so believable as a married couple!

6) The Hieroglyph Nightmare- Despite how dark and horrifying the whole nightmare sequence is, I really love the animation in that scene. Seeing the events of the beginning from Moses’ perspective in the style of hieroglyph paintings is really impressive, but it’s also so chilling to actually see the soldiers tearing babies from their cradles, from their mothers’ arms, all while such terrifying music plays in the background. Every time I watch that scene, I get chills down my spine when I hear the screaming of the mothers and babies that underscores the scene, and then Moses seeing his biological mother sending him as an infant in the basket always pulls at my heart. And the inclusion of the sun disk, Aten, is quite a clever way of showing that God sent Moses the nightmare in a way he understands.

7) The Chariot Race/Moses and Rameses’ Bond- Honestly, this is what really made me love this movie’s portrayal of Moses. As someone who studied the Old Testament in high school, this scene really offers a unique, refreshing portrayal of a Biblical character. I haven’t seen too many Biblical movies, but most of the time, Moses has always been portrayed as old and serious, especially when he returns to free the Hebrews. Seeing Moses portrayed as young, handsome, mischievous, and playful really makes him so much more human, especially when we see how close he and Rameses are. This movie shows that Moses has fond memories of his upbringing in Egypt, and that he truly loves and cares about Rameses, which makes it so much more painful when he’s forced to be enemies with his adoptive brother. And his close bond with Rameses is truly one of the sweetest parts of this movie, especially when Rameses bear-hugs Moses in front of the entire court, which makes the gradual destruction of their brotherhood all the more tragic.

8) The Parting of the Red Sea- Apparently, it took the animators two years to do this scene, and it really shows. It’s so epic and gorgeous to watch, and the passage of the Hebrews through the partition was so amazing. I love how we saw the whale shark being illuminated through one of the walls of water; it truly adds to how majestic this whole scene is. On an emotional level, seeing Aaron being the first one to encourage the Hebrews to cross, and putting his faith in Moses, it’s quite a touching moment. And on a nightmare-fuel level, watching the walls of water collapse and drown all the Egyptian soldiers while pushing Rameses back to the shore is truly terrifying. Honestly, this is another scene that really shows God’s wrath and cruel mercy, and will always chill me whenever I watch it. It truly is a spectacular, sublime moment in this movie.

9) When You Believe- This song is truly a beautiful, touching piece of music, with incredibly uplifting lyrics, and for it to come after one of the most darkest and saddest moments in the movie, I find it quite fitting, actually. Despite the fact that Moses has officially lost Rameses for good, he’s finally succeeded in freeing his people, even though it has come at a heavy price. While Rameses giving Moses permission to leave Egypt with his people was such a bleak and despairing moment, this song offers a glimmer of hope in the darkness. In addition, the children singing “Mi Chamocha” was so sweet, especially as we see how the Hebrews gradually become more cheerful once they realize that they’re free for real. It goes from being sorrowful and tentatively hopeful to triumphant and optimistic, and it’s such a beautiful scene to watch. And of course, Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey’s version is truly the best as well.

10) Playing With The Big Boys- This song is quite a scary song, but it’s just such a cool scene to watch as well. I love the rhythmic invocation of the Egyptian pantheon, especially with how ominous the music is. But I also love how it shows a sharp contrast between how Moses invokes the power of God and how the priests invoke the power of their gods. Moses didn’t need any theatrics or magic tricks to turn his staff into a snake, while the priests literally use smoke and mirrors and elaborate rituals to turn their staffs into snakes. And the fact that the song ends with their snakes being consumed by the snake from Moses’ staff really foreshadows just who ends up winning in the long run, making it quite a good song. And plus, I also like to read the YouTube comments on this particular song, they’re just hilarious.

And those are my top moments of The Prince of Egypt. Of course, it’s an incomplete list, but this is all in no particular order, since I just love the whole movie so much. So happy anniversary to this beautiful, wonderful movie!

#the prince of egypt #prince of egypt #tpoe #poe #moses #rameses #tzipporah #dreamworks animation

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tokyoghoose · 4 years

Text

am i more than you bargained for?

pairing: tetsuro kuroo x reader

playlist: heather - conan gray*, 4ever - clairo, line without a hook - ricky montgomery, melting - kali uchis, slow dancing in the dark - joji, using you - mars argo, she - ed sheeran, make you feel my love - adele, letter home - childish gambino, she's casual - the hunna, i love you so - the walters, notice me (acoustic) - role model, red dress - postcard boy

warnings: angst and lots of it, mentions of sex, mentions self-shaming of image, very breif mention of anxiety attacks

summary: a romantic comedy without the comedy between friends with benefits

announcements!

kuroo is definitely a little ooc in this lmao buuuut this is my first like fic fic in like two years. Im still trying to get back in the groove of things and finding how to write personality again and not be repetitive with my wording. Feedback is welcome!

requests are open! feel free to send them in! i will write for pretty much any anime ive seen and if i haven't seen it, ill watch it! the only reasons i wouldn't is if im uncomfortable or can't write the character. :)

——————

When did relationships become so difficult? The days of making friends on the playground were over and it seemed to hit everyone at the same age. Life was getting harder and people were getting older, and suddenly everything was difficult. Nothing came easy anymore and everyone had to adjust to that.

But now you were just confused.

Tetsuro kuroo stuck to you like glue since middle school. Where one of you went the other was likely to follow. The righthand man, the double trouble duo, and the bane of kenma's existence. And then things got complicated. Strangers to friends to best friends to lovers— friends with benefits. Who would've thought the boy that you played volleyball with on a whim would've become the man who you grew fond of. Sixth grade you would've kicked yourself for the feelings you're experiencing. Oh how you wished you were back in the park that started it all. You wished you could warn your youngerself what's to come.

The realization hit you like a ton of bricks and it made you want to throw up at the thought.

It started in the first year of highschool when you suddenly noticed the shine in his eyes when he talked passionately about something like volleyball or the way he would furrow his brows when concentrated on his assignments. At first it was endearing, really. But the more you hung around him, the stronger the butterflies felt. It was obvious that he had grown into his lanky body. His legs were proportionate to his torso now and his once scrawny arms didn't hang limply at his sides anymore. He had muscle and height now. Gradually you started to notice little things about him that you would never have seen in other people. Like his lopsidded smile that crinkled the corner of his eyes and brought heat to your cheeks, your stomach launching into your chest when he'd bump shoulders and laugh.

You should've just smacked yourself silly then and there when you started to wonder if he noticed little things about you. Does he think of me like i think of him?

Who knew feelings could be so...perplexing. You moved on, shrugging off the crush in your second year to catch bigger and better fish in the sea. Life moved on and you dated other people, simply remaining friends with kuroo. Little did you know one heartbreak would lead you into his bed, playing in the sheets by the end of the year.

He was just so damn compelling. His laughter and his jokes. You fell for it all over again. Deja vu. Stupid kuroo.

———

The third of highschool had been the breaking point. It was a constant cycle of feeling, fucking, and falling in and out of love with the raven haired boy. It was frustrating, especially when he was so damn oblivious. The only person that seemed to catch on was kenma, but he was very little help when it came to pushing away the domestic thoughts. It would never just work out because you wanted it to because tetsuro was dumb.

It's a chilly day out, the sun nice against your skin but the wind was drastic in comparison. Shivers are sent up and down your spine, you wrap your arms around yourself in a hug. Could this boy take any longer? Foot tapping against the pavement, you heave a sigh, nostils flaring impatiently before you spot the tall athlete. With a girl. A girl?

You'd seen her around before and you vaguely remember thinking she resembled the main love interest in a 90s movie or a bratz doll. She's pretty and has a light, airy laugh. Kuroo must've told her a joke of some kind, but he definitely wasn't funny enough for her to have her hands all over his chest. He's giving her a toothy grin and soft eyes. It makes you want to gag.

Who was she anyway?

Not that it mattered because in that moment the fit of rage your body suddenly flug itself into prevented you from hearing anything. Kuroo's pulling off his pullover and drapping it over the pretty girl's shoulders. You can feel your eye twitch and fibgers tingle. He looks bashful as he waves her goodbye and tragically, you don't feel nearly as pretty as you had been feeling. Now all you wanted to do was sink into the ground below you and possibly into another dimension—or at least the other side of the world.

"She's pretty," is the first thing that comes out of your mouth when he comes over, slouching with his hands in the pockets of his shorts. He had practice this afternoon, you remember. He looks over at you with raised brows, almost like he's surprised yoy said anything or even noticed he was talking to another girl before walking towards the gym with you trailing close behind.

"Yeah she is, I guess."

She's prettier than me.

"You guess? Kuroo, you gave her your sweater."

He shrugs sheepishly, a light pink dusting his cheeks and it makes you mad of uncharacteristic the act is. You resist the urge to roll your eyes.

"It's just polyester. It's not a big deal."

The conversation suddenly drops as you pause, apparently very hurt that he didn't remember it was you who gave him the sweater in the first place. He turns around, a questioning look on his face.

"What? Are you jealous?" He teases.

You're fuming at his attempt to be playful. Maybe you were overreacting, but it pangs your chest to know he can brush it off so easily.

" Kuroo, that was my sweater. "

It's gritted through your teeth, eyes slotted into a glare and his face drops. Oh is all he can think as he stares at you and the hurt expression that quickly turns into that of annoyance and anger. You push past him, ultimately deciding not to walk him to the gym. His arm reaches out to catch you, but it falls short as he calls out in a whine, "I'll get it back for you, okay? Come on, y/n!"

———

You can't focus on the assignments in front of you no matter how hard you try. You are exsausted. Just wanting to crawl under the covers and sleep for maybe a thousand years, you stop tapping your oen against the paper to hyperfocus on the black dots that now littered the page. The music in the background pauses before coming back to life with the hum of a new song shuffling in. It's quiet and yet, it's overwhelming. You wish you weren't home alone now.

Hanging your head low on your desk, the carpet becoming of interest, you groan. The image of kuroo and that girl replaying in your head over and over like an endless movie. You'd have to give it a bad review if it ever ended.

You're focus is mainly on her though. Kuroo could get any girl he wants with his witt and charm. Not to mention he wasn't jusf handsome, but he's beautiful. Model material—movie character love interest type beat. He has the ability to make any heart swoon if he tries hadd enough, and that girl was no exception. She was more than pretty. She was stunning, even. It was like watching human barbie and ken flirt with one another. She seems so nice too and you can vaguely remember her helping you wish a couple answers on homework one morning. She's better than you and better for him. Is he sleeping with her too? Before you can answer your own question the doorbell rings, quickly followed by a knock at your door.

You look down at your pajamas, debating if you should pull on your robe or not, but ultimately deciding against it when the knocks come again.

"Im coming, I'm coming. What do you wan- kuroo?"

When you open the door, you immediately get the urge to shut it right in his perfect little face, and you begin to before his hand slams against it in protest to push it open wider. He juts out his lip into a pout and his eyes soften into ones pleading like a puppy dog. You huff and avoid eye contact, instead taking intrest in the bad he was carrying.

"What's that?"

"Stuff. I'd be happy to show you if you let me in."

"Sorry, tetsuro, no can do. You haven't returned my sweater. "

He scoffs and rolls his eyes before shoving something bulky into your arms. You're not sure if you should be happy he actually got it back or upset that he had to see her again to get it. Finally looking up at him, you move to the side so he can step in.

"You know, you don't have to be jealous that i gave another girl a sweater. You're my number one, y/n." He's teasing, but his words still send the butterflies in your stomach crazy. You can only hope he means it, even if just a little.

"I'm not jealous. You can sleep with whoever you want, kuroo. We're just best friends—if anything im your wingman. "

You want to hit yourself on the head. Why would you say that?

He snickers at the rebuttle, coming to loom over you. Apparently the only thing that can get you out of your head is his cologne because it somehow invaded your senses. He smells expensive, like nice leather and fire wood during the winter. It's very manly, you note. His shadow hovers over yours as he traps you between him and the counter with a playful smirk on his face. How smug could he get. He leans down, bringing your chin up between his thumb and finger. You hadn't realized how close he was until now. Since when did you get so nervous around him? Why did it make you nervous when he kissed you all of a sudden? It's unfair that he holds the advantage. Heat rises to your cheeks and the tips of your ears and you're positive he can hear the beating of your heart, which was currently trying to break out of your chest.

His lips take you to paradise, as always. Their soft against your own, yet firm. They're slightly chapped and they taste like spearmint. It makes your head fuzzy because they feel so right, even when you wish they felt wrong. You want to pull away and kick him out, and end thjs whole arrangement, but you're already very familiar with the fact it's just beginning.

———

The bed is warm. So warm, in fact, it feels like your suffocating. The sheets tangle around your limbs, strangling you as you tangle your limbs around kuroos. You almost want to cry, and if you were anywhere else— with anyone else —you probably would have. The heat is unbearable and the one sided tension makes your stomach churn and your throat tighten up. You were almost positve an anxiety attack was coming on.

Taking a deep breath through your nose, you close your eyes as kuroo's nimble fingers soothe circles into your shoulder blade idly and yet somehow he manages to dodge the purple and red splotches blooming on the flesh. Suddenly you wish you didn't feel so safe and protected in his embrace. The moment almost tempts you to whisper sweet nothings into his ear, but you don't deserve to be the person who does that because you aren't his person. Best friend, maybe (next to Kenma, if anything) but, you aren't his person no matter how you long to be. You're just a friend in his bed having a good time. It isn't as fun anymore.

You swallow a lump in your throat, flattening your hand against his broad chest and willing yourself to lift up out of his grasp, his fingers falling smoothly to stop between your shoulder blades. Looking down at him, he presents you with the soft, goofy look on his face that he always adorns. God, there's nothing you wouldn't give to wake up beside him every morning and kiss that lopsided grin off his face. It hurts to think about, and another wave of tears try to force their way past your lash line. You blink them away and put on a soft, one-sided smile for the man below you, giving him a quick peck where his jaw and neck meet before shrugging his hands off and climbing out of bed.

His eyes track you, lazily hooded and watching, as you take the sheet with you to cover yourself, grabbing your shorts and whatever top you were wearing but a few hours ago before everything was strewn about. You shy away from his gaze, but it's nothing he hasn't seen before. He shifts in the bed to face your back, elbow propped up to lay his head in his hand. With an uncharacteristically soft tone, you almosf don't head him when he speaks. The words that come from him are like honey, yet raw. It's enough to make anyones knees buckle and crawl back into bed.

"Are you okay?"

There's a slight hint of concern there, just hardlg scrapping the surface of the question. You nod with a hum, throwing on the loose shirt before facing him. Kuroo's brow raises like he doesn't quite believe you, but he doesn't take the question further and instead turns to get out of bed. You gnaw at your lip, taking your turn to watch him stretch out. His back has red streaks messily placed down it from his shoulders to the base, his biceps matching. His hair is messy and not like the normal bed head he sports, parts of it are spiked up from fingers constantly pushing through it, while other parts are laid flat from sweat. You can't help the thought that he's sculpted by the gods. They definitely took their time on him. Scoffing at yourself and shaking the thoughts free from your head, you head to the bathroom. As if the bed wasn't suffocating enough, just being the same room was found to be worse when he looks like that. At this point, it was preferred he stayed under the covers.

You feel stupid while looking in the mirror. Your mascara from earlier had smudged beneath your waterline, clumping together in the corner. Your nose curls at the sight, hands splashing cool water at your face, rubbing at your eyes. With a sigh you lean your elbows on the sink, pushing back hair and looking down at the water going into the drain.

This is ridiculous.

How on earth could you do this to yourself and to kuroo?

There's a knock on the bathroom door, it's light and gentle in the typical kuroo fashion because he doesn't want to spook you. You purse your lips, digging the palms of your hands into your eyes and heaving a sigh. As soon as you open the door and switch places, you're up and out of his apartment without saying goodbye.

The cool air of outside hits your face and you hadn't noticed the tears until the damp chill shook you. Brushing them away, you head home. You didn't want to be around him and you certainly didn't want to think about him. On the way back, you finally decided you weren't going to tell him anything. What would dumb tetsuro know about it anyway.

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fillianore-moved · 4 years

Note

evebs up to 20 for miss vivian?

SIR... thank you so so much, this was the oc developing excercise i needed for her istg! 💘💌 i’m gonna have to say sorry to people who were uninterested in this but my keep reading parter thing isn’t working so we are stuck rip

1. what is a rumor people tell about them?

wayhaven is a small city where everyone knows everyone and no one is exempt from gossips and rumors, not even it’s new detective! while there have been certain other rumors about her previously, currently the biggest one is that she got her promotion because of her mother’s influence and ties, and that she hardly deserves it - which granted makes sense, but for someone so proud of her work and achievments it’s difficult for vivi to hear these rumors and not hope for a chance to prove herself! her mother casts a long shadow...

2. how long would they last in the zombie apocalypse?

ah depends, if she’s with a group probably longer than alone! she’s not very physically powerful so that definitely puts her at a disadvantage, but she is very fast and difficult to catch too! i wouldn’t say she would be the last woman standing but her creative solutions and her knowledge would keep her alive for a decent amount of time even if she was on her own!

3. if they’re about to get in a fight, what song plays in their head as their ‘hype song’?

destiny’s child - survivor 100% (also maybe like half of their discography in general, she’s always listening early 2000s music)

4. how important is family to them?

i think not very much, but only because she hasn’t really had the chance to experience the good nor the bad that comes with having one? her dad died when she was very young and she doesn’t remember him and her mom was always away. she likes the idea of family but it’s very difficult for her to imagine herself as a part of a functional one, if that makes sense?

5. if they had a theme song, what would it be?

lorde - bravado

6. what’s a movie they can quote from start to finish?

clueless is definitely her all time fav and she watched it more times than she cares to admit!

7. are they more of a leader or a follower?

she feels very comfortable being both! definitely more used to being a leader though, but doesn’t mind being a follower when she recognizes that someone else might have a better grip on the situation than her. but the moment the leader makes a mistake or does something she doesn’t agree with she will probably be the first one to try and take over the situation!

8. if they were given 1000 acres of land with no strings attached, what would they do with it?

honestly? she would probably sell it to someone who might know what to do with it... because she definitely isn’t one for that kind of working and planning. when she was younger she thought about having a farm but once she realized just how much work (mainly physical work) goes into it, she decided living in a small apartment is definitely suits her more!

9. if they had to flee their home country, where would they live?

she loves colder weather, so if she could pick anywhere she would probably pick a scandinavian country!

10. do they think psychic abilities exist? Which one would they like to have?

before everything with the agency happened, she truly didn’t! maybe when she was a kid or a teen and was reading way too much sci fi and fantasy novels, but as she started growing older and working in a very no nonsense field she honestly didn’t even have the time to entertain such ideas? now that she knows stuff, she would definitely love to be able to read minds it is such a useful detective skill to have!

11. what was their favourite fairy tale growing up?

the snow queen by hans christian andersen! she got a very beautiful edition of the book from her mother for her 10th birthday and she remained forever slightly enchanted by it...

12. what’s a skill or craft they would like to master, but haven’t?

she used to sew a lot when she was in middle school and high school but her sewing machine broke and she never got to buying a new one... her skill is okay but she always wished to make something really extraordinary with it one day - well, not until she gets a new sewing machine at least and it’s been a long time she last made anything so she must be pretty rusty by now!

13. how did they find out Santa isn’t real?

at 7 years old she saw rebecca putting the presents under the tree and ever since then the christmas santa magic hasn’t been the same...

14. what’s a personality trait they wish they had?

she truly wishes she was a slightly more intimidating because with some people she’s worked with being charming just isn’t going to cut it especially when they don’t really take you seriously. all her confidence and wit don’t really help with certain situations unfortunately...

15. do they believe in getting revenge on those who wrong them? If so, how do they go about it?

vivi isn’t a very revenge driven person, it’s more likely for her to just cut ties with people who have wronged her and she has no problem doing so. in fact, it’s remarkable how easy she leaves people behind if they prove to be unworthy of her trust and loyalty. in a way for those people it might seem like a punishment of it’s own, because once she cuts someone out that’s that pretty much forever. but it’s pretty difficult getting her to do that, the person has to do something truly ugly for her to decide to remove them from her life!

16. if they were arrested with no explanation, what would their friends and family think they had done?

oh god i thought about this for so long and it would probably be either driving waaaay over the speed limit (which she might or might not do on the regular) or insurance fraud (one of these days she just might, she really wants a new car)...

17. in 40 years, what will they be the most nostalgic about?

probably all her time spent with the team bravo to be honest, but also she will remember the same period of her life really fondly because she finally mended the previously cold relationship with her mother which from then on continued to be one of the most important relationships of her entire life...

18. how would they describe their family?

yikes what family :( i mean nonexistent is one word for it at the moment, though now that she’s been fixing stuff with rebecca i guess we could say it’s on the ment at the moment!

19. if they could shop for free at one store, what would it be?

as she has the biggest sweet tooth in the world, probably some doughnut chain like krispy kreme or dunkin donuts... yes yes she knows it’s cliche for cops to like them, but at least she eats hers with tea exclusively not that muddy water people call coffee!

20. do they have any pets? If so, what are they?

yes! she has a hamster named pebble that she got for her last birthday from tina! vivian adores it to bits, although at first she was a bit taken aback because she never owned an animal and was afraid of hurting it. now they’re best pals and they watch reality tv together!

[maybe send me a question for one of my ocs 👉🏻👈🏻]

#firstofficeruna #THANK YOU I OWE YOU MY LIFE AJ #💘💘💌#answered #please excuse any typing/grammar errors i didn't reread this because i was on a roll

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charmed-asylum · 4 years

Text

🔪Midnight Desire🔪

Midnight Desire, part one

Summery: A group of seniors simple night of drinking and partying at their local grocery store. Turns for the worst when they realize they are lock in with something far more dangerous then they ever imagine

Declaimer: Midnight Desire has a few curse words and hints at some abuse. This is my very first story I am posting onto tumblr so please be kind give it a glance. Also my sweet lovers I do have dyslexia so for me to jump the head 1st and do this is a big deal for grammar might be a bit off. I promise you a good ride from beginning to end. So buckle up and enjoy the ride. - xoxo Charmed- Asylum

tagged: @weapinggwillowss @strangerfictions

wanna be tagged let me know. wanna tell me i suck heck let me know.

________________________________________________________________

Fire alarm sound police sirens heard off in the distance. The noise of such importance however is muffed from the sound of a soft cry, crying for help . Nothing can break this cry , it plead can break glass hurt even the biggest monsters. Where is this cry comes from this dark cool winter night. As the cry becomes loud so loud that it more a scream a bloody hand comes out of a chained cellar door.

24 Hours Earlier

Beep beep. A hand lounges out the bed and press the snooze button, old Hello Kitty stickers cover, alarm clock. Slowly getting up. A young girl around 16 with golden brown beginning of October soft skin with matching midnight sky eyes and short curly golden honey brown hair that came up to her chin.While she could ever tell from looking into a mirror her beauty would make anyone want to stop and give a second glance. A few minutes she mumble into the pillow. As the time slowly past she finally decide to get up. Her eyes were closed as she slumped forward still in deep sleep went across the hall to the bathroom. Another girl tall with fair skin long store bought blonde hair about 18 came from behind and rushes into the bathroom before other girl can realize what was happening. Slammed the door in her face. Upset. The girl starts knocking on the door full of rage.

" Cora come on. I got up first. Let me in! You take forever" she said banging at the door with all her might .

An older man in his late 40s advantage build with ash brown hair came from behind and quietly watch the young girl in her old Queens T shirt attacking the door like a punching bag. A smirk appears . Music start blasting from inside the bathroom.

" Good morning, sweetie. Don’t worry just come use our bathroom. Mom done and I just need to finish getting dressed Jolie" the man says smiling at her with his hand gently place on upper backside. Looking back at the door pissed she kicks the door one last time as hard as she could and follows him to the other bathroom. As she closed the door to get ready she sees him sitting on the bed in a still daze just looking at her with a jester grind. She glanced back at herself she never felt pretty even though her mom told her time and again she was. She had freckles across face that was a bit closer to her long lashes that blink across she never worn makeup so her face remain bare. She always wishes she had more of Cora beauty the ones some girls are born with ones that everyone has a picture of ones that they use to paint a picture or create another barbie after. Her hair drop in front of her face. Ripped jeans that sits slightly below her waist that went with Velvet Underground t shirt that drop over her mom old denim jacket. Satisfied with what she was wearing she decided it was best to face the music and start her day. She peak around before walking out ready to get another day over with.

" Jolie how was your sleep last night" her mom asked. She was a bit younger than the man with a face that belongs in a museum by itself. With tired eyes she came over and kiss Jolie on the forehead. Smiling at her. Jolie says nothing and grab a piece of bacon and sit down on a wooden stool by the kitchen.

The older girl skips down the stairs, pushing into Jolie causing her to spill her orange juice. Jolie looks up at the girl then starts to pick up the broken glass. The man comes from behind her holds her back gently for a minute before helping with broken glass. Looking up with eyes that burn with a blue fire.

" Cora it's been almost a year. You need to stop acting like a fucking baby. Be nice to Jolie she your baby sister " he says firmly.

Cora rolls her eyes and smirks at him. " Not my fault the loser. Does not pay attention to me or her surrounds. It’s stepsister by the way we are not related" Cora said while taking a bite out of an apple. Jolie gets up and throw the rest of broken glass in the trash. " Thanks. But it's fine. Mom how are you this morning. Take your pills" Jolie said pretending Cora said nothing.

A gentle kiddish like laugh left her mom small plump lips as played with her curls between her white manicure nails. Kissing her cheek as she walked passed her. " I'm fine. Jojo Stop worrying about me. I’m the sick one not you. You need to be like your sister and start….. You not always guaranteed a tomorrow, Jolie Wellstone" she stops and looks at Cora putting makeup on. " You need to socialize not staying here. Maybe you should do something with Cora" she says looking at Jolie as she drinking a cup of hot green tea.

Jo glance at Cora as she finished her face. Thinking of other things she wants to do then do that. So far her list has living the zombie apocalypse and eating vegan food.

A car outside honk, BEEP. Not missing a beat ,Cora excited to end this charade bounces up and rushes for the door. Jo watched Cora from the window to get a better look outside to the red convertible. A guy that looks like he came out every cliche John Hughes movie was driving while another guy was in the back smoking weed. Cora hops in the front and the guy grabs at her perfect 40C boobs and starting to make out with her before driving off. God I hate it here Looking back at the stock photo picture perfect couple she slug back into the chair and plays with her tea bag with her spoon. The man watches her as she slipped into her own thoughts then looks at mom concern.

" Richard being so good to us. I know you understand but. ...Eventually he and Cora will be your family, Jojo. She like us not used to this. You just need to find something" mom says holding Richard hand tight. She hated when her mom use her name worst when she used her nickname. Jo looks at him then looks away back at her cup.

" I try on the behalf of the both of us, mom. It's been some really good months here. Don't want you ups..." a bus horn beeps. Saved by the bell she thought to herself.

Grabbing her bag and lunch she kiss both of them on the forehead and goes out to start her day. She was glad to leave she hated lying to her. But knowing mom she knows she already knows she always know Jo thought to herself.

The bus is basically a collection of the body snatchers. It was an oddball of folks. The bus crew. Jolie was nothing like Cora at less not here. She was lonely and no one could give two cents who, Jolie Wellstone was. Best way she found herself making sense of this feeling was like her birthday, it is a month that millions others she share with but don't know. Weird way of thinking yes. But that's how she was brought up how her mom and dad taught her to be like. Only other group she talks was groups she put with because of class. This week Ivy, Kyle, Robinson.

School for Jolie was different since she moved . She use to jump early before the alarm go talk to her many friends give everyone a smile and high five in the hallways. She wasn't alone but ever since Richard came into her and her moms life it all she knew now. She use to be more than just a piece of space moving from classroom to classroom. Now and days Jo basically rush to class answer the questions the teacher asks right in her head. Only once she got it wrong 5th grade health class,the human brain can read up to 1,000 words per minute .

Lunch use to be full with laughter as she made her friends spill their milk and juice out there noise or she talk up anyone with a smile to sign her newest protest of the week. Now lunch was a time she spent by herself in the bathroom or on brave days outside by the basketball courts. She like it there because eight of ten times she would see Garrett . Nothing more then her high school crush. He had a surfer tan that was just perfect even though it was never above 60 degrees 6’5 tall glass of yummy with matching gorgeous summer sky blue eyes and a voice that all alone made you explode. You all had one why not to him she always says as she goes through his iBook page . Checking like it was a daily ritual. Still single. Thank you baby Jesus yes.

They had four classes together including lunch. He was older but same age as Cora,18. Four had became her magic number so far. 4. Four on the amount of times they talk or was close. First day bump into him , put on his team in gym, ask for a pen, and passing English Lit chapter 7 test to him. While Jo was a sophomore she had all senior classes. Something she hated until she saw Garrett for the first time.

Jo was a loner and sadly he was too. However, for him it was by choice. He was better at hiding it but she knew even though they never really talk outside of those four times in her months of being stuck in this hellhole. Her Winston to her Holmes. Her moon to her stars. That magic number would be something of the past after today. Today was different. It was the second to last class study hall in the library, also with Garrett and one of her favorite class. What can ever be better than reading books, doing homework, and looking at Garrett as he had his feet kicked up on the table smoking a cigarette playing with his lighter and no care.

Jo was simply looking at the black and white checkered floor walking to class when she saw Fred, Mr. John Hughes and Farrah making out, Cora’s bestie and boyfriend. She knew she should've left but she couldn't help herself but get a quick look and see. Creeping in the shadows like a ninja. Part of her wanted to watch see what was happening out of concern. She might of had a very strong dislike of Cora , still cared. Wasn’t that she hated her just there were a lot of things she would hope happen before she admit it. Going down the list like starve to death or god forbid not be able to see her mom, or Garrett again. The root to all her evils. Caring about others before herself. The bell rings. Being late or being caught. Very hard decision Jo turns around and bumps right into Fred . Caught red hand.

She grabbed her things tried to make a break for it. Fred being Mr. I’m a meathead and press 450 easy was able to stop her in no time.

" Macy right your Cora new step sister" he says holding onto Jo bag strap. Looking at up into his storm gray eyes Jo nods.

" It's kinda not Macy though but that's fine " Jo says trying not to stress sweat. She never spoke to him she got a few looks from his when he would pick or drop Cora off. Or when he came by one of the first days she and her mom move here and Richard had a little barbecue for them. He does not say a word just brings himself close to her still holding onto her bag.His eyes could turn her to stone that how intense it felt What was going on between the two was nothing close to any good tension but more like they were about to have a staring contest. He looks her once over and smile.

" I actually was worried seeing you watching me until I realize who you are, Macy. Did it turn you on watching me.Like the little holy mary virgin you are ” he stops and twist her curl that dropped down into her face with his finger “That was her doing . I stop it as soon as it started to happen. So no word right " he says in a very very serious but creepy tone his finger still twisting her curl.

Feeling her ten seconds was up Jo nod and bolted to class without a word. Busting right into Garrett strong define chest, he held tight to her small figure a bit tight as she almost fell. He glanced back to where she came from then back down at her. That one touch almost sent her sent her places she only went to when she was alone in her room or in her dreams. She bit corner of her bottom left side of her lip as she mouth sorry and ran off embarrassed.

After that touch by heaven moment Jo spent the rest of her day hiding from the world. She even decided to walk the 12 minutes walk home in hops she would not bump into Fred or Garrett. Today word be bad luck Jo Jo she said to herself as she continued her walk home. The name her dad use to call her. Everyone can call her Jolie even Jo but no one but him use to call her Jo Jo that was his and his alone.

Her Mom came home from work 5 ish beat. Just in time for their alone time, watching the news and Family Feud for an hour or so. Then by 7 she would play house wife for Richard. Something she never did before.

" It's Friday .Do you have any plans? Me and Ricky are going to the doctors then a party. Fun uh. What abo-..." her convention was interrupted by the Cora and Richard arguing in the next room.

Which for some reason still gets her startled but for Jo it was the new normal. She and her mom never was as vocal as they was but after the fifth scream match it shock value lesson . Cora lungs her bag on the floor and stomps up stairs. Richard loosens his tie and un bottom a few bottoms from his shirt walk into the living room, where Jo and mom was at. Watching the real Family Feud in front of them. Kissing both of them on the forehead. He pushes his way between Jo and her mom putting one arm tight around Jo shoulder. And like a switch of the light her mom got up to mostly likely continue her housewife duties. Jo never understand why she did it. She never did that before but she was young. She could not remember how much time past when Richard stop talking to her and they got up to do something.

She had to get away from him as far as she could. Walking pass Cora’s bedroom door. She peeks in like the weirdo she is to see if Cora was hot gluing her face on. Covering the evil witch that she was. Why a witch easy because she can make everyone foul that she actually nice. Nope. Just on the phone talking. As she started to walk pass. She stops and turns around back into the lion dean.

"Cora we need to talk" she said blunty. Why What uh. The simple thoughts started flashing in her mind. Cora chewing on gum rolls her eyes and continue to talk on the phone as if Jolie said nothing. Same thing she did earlier.

" I lost my dad just like you lost your mom and brother only difference is you still have time with your dad. I lost mine young and found out I'm losing my mom all” Jo stops and looks away hiding her tears" I found out the same time….. You stay here. I left my life. I'm going to be stuck here. You got lucky always lucky. You leave in a few months. Everyday I'm alone. Because at the end of the day. I got the dang short stick. Never nothing I want. You might hate me well I do sometimes too. But I still care about you and... Richard, always will. Just like my mom does. Can you at least fake it. Then when she gone you can go back to whatever this is" Jo stops. She hated talking about any of this. Her father, mom, the future, her path. But she was tired of it. Sick. Jolie decides not to wait for Cora response. Not this time. Later maybe but not now. Also she had to pee.

Dinner was as normal as abnormal it always was. Eating her corn, " So dad. Can I get a 50 I’m going out with the squad to" Cora starts to say to Richard.

Richard devouring his stake looks at her then at mom. " No way. It's dinner time. Family time. Your n" he starts to say cutting Cora off. Mom feeling and seeing the same overdone clip cuts in.

" Honey..... so Cora what are you plans with your gang " she says trying to sound hip. Jo looks at her and smiles at herself. There it goes. There where I got all my social traits from. Richard was of course was talking to himself attack the stake. Which from the look of it the plate was really the loser. Poor plate.

Cora mad looks at Jo. " Daddy. Me and lo- Jolie talk. She new and being such a nice person I am I bringing her to the homecoming game then to the movies afterwards. Starting a new leaf. Which is why I need the money daddo. Also we will be back by 2 ish" Cora says looking at Jo. Smart move using the socially awkward girl to get what you want Jo thought to herself as she looked down at her food.

Mom excited smiles. "Really oh my shit balls. I’m so gosh darn happy. See Jolie. Of course. Your dad be glad to. Ricky. It gives us some alone time,after the party. HUH . Give Jo some money. And Jo remember the rules. And 1 am Cora. No more than that not even a second" mom says getting up grabbing her plate. What about board game night we was gonna play Trouble she thought to myself watching her mom getting all the dirty plates. Richard smile and waits till mom leaves.

" Cora, don't do ANYTHING to hurt her. Only reason you're going is her" he says gulping rest of his Budweiser. Cora smirks at his threat and rolls her eyes and looks at Jo.

"They are like so gonna be here soon. REMEMBER so hurry up....and don't forget the cash" Cora says with a plastic Barbie smile and storms off. Jo slowly looks at Richard still gulping down rest of his Budweiser. As she starts to leave Richard grab tight to Jo tiny wrist. " Have fun. Baby . This night ...will be one you will never forget. Here. Take the money. Tell the coach I said hi" he says to Jo with a smooth demeanor one he did not have seconds ago . Numb by the feeling. Jo simply smiles and leave.

She fumbles up to grab her things. Nothing much: her keys or janitor as she calls it, her wallet, lighter for Cora because she always losing hers and asking. A few books no less than three. Two normal and a color book. Pens and markers. Gum. Tissues. And charger. All stuff with way to much more crap in her old backpack cover in bumper stickers and buttons.

Mom was down stairs taking pictures like it was a senior prom. Memory She always said before she would go over overboard with it. Ok not this time but for the most of the time. She goes over over board. Cora was enjoying every second of it. Posing and laughing like she was going to be cover of Seventeen .

" Come down Jolie two pictures that's all then you can go " mom says. Jo stand by Cora and waited. click click. And one selfie of all three on mom's phone. Simple kiss on the check and wait let me email this to you Jolie second. Mom hold her close. “Thanks Jolie. We both need this. Love You sweetie” she said then wave goodbye. Jo hold her tight and whisper I love you before leaving.

Cora was more than excited minus Jo was coming. In the car were the same three people as this morning . Jo walks slowly behind her nervous praying to baby Jesus. There was no one drunk and or cops would pull them over because of drunken foul . Newspaper reads poor loser dies when mom force her to socialize with others

" Hey dumb shit let's go" Cora says sitting in the passenger seat. Jo looks back and wave goodbye once more. “ You won't believe how I got out. This space cake actually help me. And got cash. Was able to even score more than what I ask. Gonna have to bring my little pet often" Cora says laughing putting more of blood red lipstick on. A boy with a bad case of twitch looks at Jo like a glass of water in the desert.

" So you visiting or something"he says looking at Jo.

" No actually I been living her with Cora for months now. Hi name Jolie but you can call me Jo ” Jo says trying not to give off the you smell like yucky weed face. He smiles and look at the girl sitting next to him, Farrah aka bestie who made out with you know who. She had black hair blue eyes look as perfect as Cora did. Cora gets up from her seat and turn around. " Does anyone have like cigs or liquor on them. Babysitting lil dumbo here. Forgot to grab out daddy stash" Cora said.

Jo look at everyone as no one offer her anything. " I got pop and some matches" says like a silly head. The boy deadpans her then starts to bust out laughing. Pointing at her crying like he was Banzai from the Lion King .

" I....I....I..Oh I like her. What is she like 2 and retarded. Pop and....and matches" he says giggling to himself. Fred turns around and curse at himself. " How we gonna have fun at a game with no fucking stuff" he says. Cora looks and whispers to him.Fred looks out to the road and makes a sharp turns around.

After a few minutes pass. They pull up to an old grocery market in the center of the town. It late, deserted. Snow was falling gently like the beginning of a Christmas movie. Something that caught Jo eye so she did not realize it at first what was happening. Fred exchanges some looks at everyone and grab a flashlight got out and started to walk towards the store. Follow by Farrah and Lex, the boy that was differently high. Cora was left behind checking herself once again. Jo rocking back and forth.

" Cora Cora we made a wrong turn. We are not by the school anymore. What are we doing here. Mom and Richard are going to be worried. What happens if they stop by and we are not there…. Lord cheese crackers. That's it I’m texting her" Jo says stumbling around her bag freaking out. Cora making a fish look glancing in the mirror to see Jo still looking for her phone.

" So you want to look and act like a baby. Baby. Well congrats you are top of that list. Hey stop. We already heard the game gonna suck. Like we are gonna win and blah blah. Same thing every year. We already made new plans before we left. So either you suck it up and come in or stay out here in the cold till we come back"she says getting up and leaving Jo speechless.

Jo watched as Cora catwalk in the store in the freezing cold in her high heels and small pink Michcal Kors jacket . Her phone in her hand she starts to text her mom. She stops mid way texting her mom to see the pictures from earlier her mom sent her. A long struggle Cora put her though. I’m not a baby. Just ... Okay I'm a baby. One that does not mind being the helper and loner. I bet Garrett would thinks that be fine. If he knew me. They playing a joke I just wait out here. I show who a baby Jo whisper to herself looking out to the empty roads. Laying down in the back Jo looks up at the stars. Passing time till they come back out. It was quite. Only thing you could hear was the sound of the lights. Light of the street lights, neon or store lights. Then the cold breeze. Cold very cold breeze. She slowly gets up after a while when she realize she was all alone.

Looking around again. She stops. Fudge It she pouts to herself. Start to walk inside. See what was taking so long. The front of the store was locked . Chains and chains oh wait some more locked chains. Jo tried to look through but she could only see the outline of what looks to be a person. Jo following to the back to see a door with a rock keeping it open.

It looked like it was one of those vintage out a magazine stores. She came with her mom a few times but her mom prefer the one town over more populated and better selections. Following the noise she heard laughter and arguments. Walking closer she sees a figure talking to Fred. Cora lending across closer to Fred but in a mid distance as she was waiting for her call. Farrah and Lex was smoking giggling at each other stupidity. Lex of course was the first to realize they weren't alone anymore. He strung his head to Fred and then he stop giggling.

Screaming from afar it sound like mumbling. Lex closer smiles and says" Cops outside. Girlie" he says chuckling at Jo. Shaking her head no she looks around then back at him .

" Uh....No. Just. No" Jo says.

Fred strugs. " So you finally decided to come in we were betting. I guess we are technically all wrong. Cora and I said never, Lex said ten minutes, Farrah had no faith in you and said a second" Fred stops and laugh. Looking at his watch " 1 hour and 49 minutes. What were you doing ? It's freaking cold as ice breaks out there " Fred says with a devilish grin.

The figure behind them upset throw it hands up rushes off between the allies.

" What is going on is this a joke" Jo says looking at Cora. Cora rolls her eyes " We are seniors in a boring ass hick town. We wanted to do something legendary so why not sneak into the town old ass market and party to dawn. Think of it as a senior prank. Look we did a nice thing. You are our like well witness. The person that gets to spread it around and be the undergrad that was apart of history"Cora says proud of herself.

Jo shock not only by the coldness of emotions but the fact she was even numb by the blow. " I'm not getting in trouble. Why should I....anyway we can get caught. Trouble. I can't do trouble. I am not built for that . NO WAY JOSE I'm out where the nearest bus towards home or taxi" Jo says starting to go back outside looking at my phone for service.

They tried to stop her reason with her best a couple of drunk and high teenagers could do. Fred piss came from behind her grabs her collar of her shirt and pull her back. Jo clumsy stumbles back bumping her head against a rack stack of photo chips .

An Hour Later

Jo woke up still a bit dizzy from the fall ice on her forehead laying on a stack of old Sunday newspaper. She holds the ice closer to the back of her head looks up. Fred was talking to Cora. Cora looks royalty piss like worse then the time Jo accidentally slipped paint on her expense Gucci shoes and Richard had to hold Cora back from killing Jo. Fred look back to see Jo walks to her with Lex.

" Look. Kitten. You would mess up things. We are not doing anything wrong. Party till game ends clean up then leave. No ones out there everything close. So stay here like a good baby . And be grateful we are nice to a loser like you. You got it" he says with a mean tone pointing into her chest. Jo looks at him then glance at everyone else. Nothing. Empty. Still no figure. Jo shakes her head yes. Still feeling the pain with each nod. What could she do say. She was not tough brave. She was a baby.

Cora walk back with the figure. It walked passed everyone till it got to Jo. She could not tell it close arm distance to see who it was. Garrett. Shock and piss. And if Jo was not so dizzy from the hit him coming this close to her would have made pass out from all the excitement in going on in her body. " I can't lose this job. You got till midnight. Then we are FUCKING though. Go get drunk in the parking lot all I care" he says looking back at the group pissed. He stops and glance at Jo. His eyes shift from pissed to concern. Jo shock starts to open her mouth to say something but before anything he leaves once again.

Fred rolls his eyes and brush it off as what's ever. Drunk now he grabs Cora and start to dance with her to Lex mp3 player . They spend some more time drinking and smoking around the store. Jo sat still on the floor, glancing to the back a few times to see if he comes back. After a while she was pulled back into reality and force to dance with Farrah. Who was as slutty as a video vixen. As time passed they either left to explore or grab some munchies aka find somewhere to make out . Jo decided to make the best of things and found a quiet spot closer to the vents with a cool breeze. Reading one of her books in her zone her space. She stops mid paragraph mid word death . There was something cutting her breeze.

" You mine I chill here with you. Everyone hooking up and I'm not in the mood to smoke. Been trying to quite a few months ago the huh the smoking" a voice says. Jo shakes her head no looking at the page. Pain was not as intense but annoying . She looks up to see Garrett standing there. He looks down at you with his drop dead smile and glitter blue eyes piercing back at you. Garrett sits down and looks at the book Jo was reading, " Good book. So much irony. Jo is that your real name" he says still holding the book in his big marvel hands. Jo shakes her head no. Surprise not only he knew her name but it being his first question " Jolie. Its huh Jolie. Most people call me Jo. Before you ask kinda. My dad used to call me Jo Jo. Why" she says trying to default all her butterflies away.

Garrett smiles a bit bigger. He looked away for a second then back to her. She was mesmerized at his face eye darted to his pink lips. GOD THOSE KISS READY LIPS. " Jolie. That's pretty beautiful . Fits you more then Jo. Mind I call you that Jolie not Jo. I seen you around. I think we got classes together. How your head" he says looking up at her head. Jo slowly touches it wincing at the pain.

" Gym, English lit, and something else" he stops he was closer to her and takes her bag while she wasn't paying attention. Smiling with such charm he starts going though. " Running away huh. That never helps anything, Jolie" he says playfully. Jo smiles iffy about the name but he sure changing that" I’m not runway no more. Or at least NOT now. That's to help me remember a reason to stay. Can't believe even you " she says scratching back of her ear. She stops and look at him. Garrett smiles and goes through her bag not fully pay attention.

" Well I’m happy. You would have kept me alone with these drunk horny retards. Dang. Jolie got a lot of stuff. Cool stuff. Wait why the keys and fake tattoos. No nope these must have a story" he says looking through the fake tattoos. Jo smiles. " Dad said more keys you have the more opportunities you have. Now I’m pushing endless. A lot of them it's like endless stories.Ideas” Jo says trying not to blush.

He scoop a bit closer still looking through her things. His dirty blonde hair was the perfect blend of messy with a purpose. Match with a scent that always drove her crazy it was a mixture of lumber wood and sex appeal. She has been close to him but mostly back of his head in class or behind him in gym class. Never out of class never him coming to her. Was it that he was bored and she seems easy. Or was he really put on babysitting duties. She wasn't sure she really wasn't. But for a quick second before it clicks into reality she just decided to enjoy it. Garrett look up to speak, interrupting Jo inner thoughts.

" Don't see any pictures of your boyfriend how come. Or girl-" Jo interrupts him " Boyfriend. BOYS. MEN. I mean I'm single" she says looking at him as he took out a pop and a bag of chips. He glances at her for her approval. Nodding. " My turn. More of a statement. You don't have to baby me. Or whatever they have you doing. And I'm not that type. That take you against some canned food or on the cold ass floor. I'm sure you can understand" Jo said looking at him. He freezes with sour cream and onion flavor chips in his hand and stuff in his mouth. Chewing slowly he just look at her confused . Clearing her throat. " I mean. What about you any special girl in your life" she says cursing at herself for saying something.

He smiles at her with that million dollars just won the lottery smile. " No. But I do have my eye on a girl to be honest. But it complicated. And I sorry. I can imagine what it looks like. Me here. You. But reality is I just feel your more my speed" he stop and look at a have no clue Jo" Sober. Good vibes. Cool" he says drinking some of the pop. She wanted to smile so bad blush even. Text her mom the cool news. Her mom knew from there little talks she had a crush on Garrett. But instead she just said nothing. "So this girl. Why not tell her. What she some cheerleader or something" Jo says trying to hide the bit of jealous for this girl. Garrett struggles and blushed a bit. " No. She actually new here. And she no cheerleader. She way way more fucking prettier them those dust bag. Smarter too. She also a bit younger not much . Not sure she likes a guy like me" he says looking down at the bag of chips.

Jo hated this girl already no name or face but she hated her more than anything. "Hey uh Garrett. As a girl who shares class with you. This girl she be stupid no borderline retarded beyond repair if she doesn't like you... Hey want do something fun out of my bag" she said to him trying to change the subject before she confessed her undying love for him in the middle of a grocery store. He glances up after a long thought. And says yes. They talk a lot more. What they thought of class today. Taste and music. List was endless. She for once did not feel alone or afraid or even flushed by being by this close to Garrett. Instead she felt normal like the girl she used to be before moving here.

Garrett looking at his cool new panda bear with roses and bar wire, " It must be hard. Coming here. Not really belonging anywhere both at school and home. If it makes you feel better it's the same with me, Jolie. I kinda want to confess something" he starts to say. The alarm on his phone went off. Damn he whispered to himself. He looks at Jo sipping on some water listening to his music, Foo Fighters. " Have to do rounds. Want to come with. Also with what Fred did kinda don't want to leave you behind, Jolie" he whispered into her ear. Nodding at the delight of continuing this affairs or the omfg this isn't happening tour. They walked side by side down each row. Jo looking up at him as he talked about the job, his family or the many stories he smile and laugh as he told her.

" Hey tour guide. Do you know if we get a bathroom break. The water getting to me" she said trying to hold her pee. Garrett smiles down at her as she did her pee pee dance. " Sure but I might have to meet stay outside" he says.

He stop by these old metal swinging doors. She looked back and sneak in. Garrett stood watch with his flashlight. The hallway was dark and musty. A few old lights winging from the ceiling. The bathroom was in worse condition. Dirty. Smelly. Something even the best horror novelist couldn't even make up. She lends over and tries to go. The old metal door starts to open. Creek creek. Jo gets up a little to see what it was. Nothing but a shadow. Unsure what to think she turns around for some toilet paper. Footsteps now . Heavy as a meter. Stomping towards her. She froze her hand press on each side of the stall . The footsteps stop in front of her. Jo mouth open a little to slow her breathing. She couldn’t tell whatever it was.She tried to listen to see if someone else was here. Jo slowly put her feet up close to her and lends towards her legs to her chest. A sharp sounds goes across the door. Jo shivering trying not to scream. Froze. Keep it together just a joke she thought. She tilts her head to the side to peak. It was gone. What or who ever wasn't there. She waited a little to make sure it was gone. She opens the door to peak. Nothing. She gulp and rush out as fast she can. Not even a hair or turtle could catch up to her. As the doors swing open. She landed right in Garrett strong arms for the second time and one day . She held him tight her head dodged into his chest. Only thing that stops her for crying was the warm touch he gave as he rubbed her back. But it did not stop the fact she was freaked out by what just happened to her.

" What wrong you ok? " Garrett said still holding her. She said nothing just hold him tight her head on his chest looking down at his sneakers. He looked down at her. Nothing but the head of curls and a silent whimper. Under her breath she says" something was down there with me". He looks up at the door. " We have a lot of rats was what scared you. It's alright shi-" he start to say.

" No a person. A shadow was there. Watching me. I want to go home now" she said still holding him. Using his shirt as a tissue as her tears roll off her face. He shocked his head pissed.

" That bitch ass jerk" he says quietly to himself.

" I bet Fred did this. Does not know when to stop come on let's find him" he says grabbing at her small wrist.

They were all laughing smoking a joint. " You're freaking dead. Now Fred" Garrett says rushing right to Fred forgetting he was still holding Jo wrist. Fred turns at Garrett and Jo then back at everyone else. " What the fuck you talking about" he says laughing at him. Garrett was mad. He glances at Jo who was giving him Bambi eyes then at him. " That real cool. You scared her half to death. She literally came out to me screaming like she saw the fucking devil. Look at her" he says shaking Jo. Jo for the first time look up out of her daze. Fred blows out big poof of smoke at Garrett and Jo. " Really like. Bro you sniffing to many things of white out again . That never happened. Whatever that baby got scared of must of been her own shadow. I was with Farrah checking out the joint. Cora was here with Lex sleeping off the liquor" he says licking his top lip.

Jo looks at Cora who face look puzzled. As if he not saying something. Farrah was standing by Lex fighting something she wanted to say. Jo tug at Garrett shirt. She leaned in close to him on her tippy toes. " Garrett it's fine. Can we just chill it" she said to him then glanced at Farrah and Fred. Garrett still mad makes a mad face then turn to apologize to Fred. Fred piss off walk away with no other than Farrah behind him. Cora upset shakes her head and mouth the words you slut. Hope you choke on a stick. Garrett looks at Jo then walks towards the others with his head down. Cora was now screaming at the top of lungs at Fred.Garrett rushes up to Fred and tries to calm him down as if the last five minutes never happened. Jo looks at Cora storming pass her. Cora was sitting on cashier filing her nails.

" You ok. Cora" Jo said sincerely . Cora looks at her then raises her eyebrow up.

" I'm not stupid. I know that bottom eater is doing. I'm popular duh. But I have my limit. Doing it and being so obvious in front of people. That does it. Twice a day" she says to a puzzled face Jo " I know what you saw today. Damn thing went around faster than a twit. No one thing. May you my witness. Who ever does Cora wrong gets put on the freaking list" she said still filing her nails. Jo look at her then back at Fred. " If you knew why then be with him. There much more guys heck captions then him" she said looking at her. Cora looks at her and then walk away.

Garrett walk right past her to Jo . " Hey Jolie. I need your help. I need to get the key. Thought I had them on me but mines are the wrong ones. Master keys in the office. Door locked everything shut down. Can you stay here. Keep watch. I'm gonna take Lex so nothing happens. He kinda upset" he says looking at Jo.

She glanced at him then shook her head yes. She watched him leave. Placing her hands up above her head she tries to focus. As she started to walk she remembers something. Earlier the figure she saw. Was it something or just her imagination. She had to figure it out. Garrett won't do that . At least she hope not. She had to figure out was it and the one in the bathroom is the same.

Looking at the car Jo then rushes to Fred and Farrah talking.

"Look Freddie. She knows Lex knows why not just be together. We had sex. We make out alot why not" Farrah said trying to touch Fred face. Pushing her hand down he starts to laugh. " Look I’m starting to sober up so let me make this quick because it's kinda sad. You're like an on the street bootleg of a movie. Might think it's a good deal. Because it's cheap and looks like the real deal but always mess up quality and a waste of money. Cheap worthless. Lex told me he only with you because you give it out.Cora a real girl. I have to fight for her. You I smile and give you a second attention and your hook. What? " he says looking at Jo.

Looking back at Cora then at them. " You should at least have the respect and talk to her. I get it. It's a joke. On me. The noises the playing with me when I was in the bathroom. It's not funny. We are already in trouble so let's just go" Jo says. Fred laughs at her then walks towards Cora. Farrah upset starts to walk off. Jo afraid of anyone leaving by themselves follows her.

" Wait wait. It's not safe" Jo says running behind her. There was a creepy creak coming from behind but far enough that even if you tried you could hear it.

" What do you want. Im piss and you're not helping" Farrah says still walking. Jo looks back again. There was the sound again. No one heard it. " Look I don't know is still part of the prank. But I'm over it. I saw you when I was in the car, when I was using the bathroom. You running away now is letting him win. Now if I can put pass the silly nonsense you guys are doing so can you. You deserve better then a descent 3rd division college player that gonna be either back here working at some depressing job if he smart get a bookie to do all his work or a mid wage in some middle state overweight loser. Either way. He not worth it. You're not perfect but you don't deserve to be treated like horse poop" Jo said. She was upset. She was upset that this was happening she really only wanted to be home with her mom. Safe. Nope instead she trying to pump up a you can do the high road to the school slut. Farrah came and raise her hand to slap Jo. " It wasn't a joke. On you. You're not worth it. You're seeing things. We was smoking a joint when we first got inside then we.....we..... we found this weird place. In the back. Fill of old meat and big ass fucking knifes. Some straight A fucking shit. He wants to do it but I couldn’t. So after we play around broke something crap and left" she stopped and started to walk back towards the group. She stops " Thanks. You're actually cool. Cora was wrong" still walking. There was the noise again. The never ending feelings someone calling for you but know no ones behind you. Then that's when it happened. All at once.

They were taken.

#midnight desire #midnight #aesthetic #dark #writeblr #short story #young adult fiction #fiction #suspense #thriller #desire #teenage angst #scary #grunge #girl #2019

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srawesleyghuewrites · 6 years

Text

Back To You - Chapter 4

Series: Back To You

For desktop users: masterlist

For mobile users: mobile masterlist

Pairing: Drake x MC(Anna Grey)

Faceclaim: Daniel di Tomasso as Drake Walker, Elizabeth Olsen as Anna Grey and Paul Wesley as King Liam

Book: The Royal Romance

Word Count: ~ 3,200

Rating: M for language

Prompt:

Remembering the most memorable nights in Anna’s life makes her feel nostalgic, if only she knew just how much tonight will be memorable perhaps she’d made different choices.

There’s many questions running around people’s minds, many of them will never be answered and some not even asked but what happens when you do ask your important questions? Are you going to be happy with the answer or will you wish you never asked in the first place?

Author’s Note:

Hello dear choices fandom!

I know it took me a little longer to update and I apologize but my personal life has been crazy these past days, hopefully I’ll be able to update weekly from now on so YAY!

This chapter was kind of hard to write because there was a lot of emotion involved and well, it was just hard but I really liked the result so I hope you’ll like it too.

Yes, I named my dog ‘Dude’ because I watch too much Disney movies(Descendants) so just go with it ok? I have big plans for this series so be sure to check it out and give me feedback!! A special thanks to my bae @the-everlasting-dream for helping me with the review <3

Always let me know if you wanna be in or out of the tag list and I appreciate feedback!(And I’m not sure the tags are working)

@debramcg1106 @simplyaiden-blog @lizeboredom @writtenbycandy @drakewalkerwhipped @naomisveil @nazarihoe @taliahunt @cocomaxley @mymandrake @confessionsofabrokegirl @the-everlasting-dream @mrsnazario1223 @honeylightningambition @walkerismychoice @drakewalkerstan @trr-fangirl @littleredroseonthevalley @trueauthor @innerpostmentality @darley1101 @laniquelovely @moodygrip @liam-rhys @agent-zephyrkah @missevabean @pilitella @her-imperial-hangman-s @wolfsterrr @littlewonderbear @queen-maximoff @bluediamondsapphire @puppymaster101 @pbchoicesobsessed @clarissafics @glorious-fandoms @boneandfur @countrymusicandncis-blog @damienazariostan @lizeboredom @mpbeaumont @choicesbitch @christopher-powell @bella-ca @leelee10898 @asprankle @sue9659 @american-duchess @parkerattano @desperue @bellamystorms @journeytohomesworld @fanfictionrecommendations-com @liamxs-world @easyobsession @ads0036 @personthatlovesshippings @eileendannie @nikkis1983

Disclaimer: The characters don’t belong to me(except for Anna Grey), I just borrow them from Pixelberry!

Don’t ask the question if you don’t want the answer

“I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to

When I'm lying close to someone else

You're stuck in my head and I can't get you out of it”

Anna’s had a couple of really memorable nights in her life, each one for a completely different reason but all equally important.

Most likely the first she remembers, her first school play when she was only 7 years old and her parents seated in the crowd applauding like crazy as their little daughter understood for the first time what it meant to have passion about something. It was the first time Anna smiled so much that her cheeks burned for a while later, that’s when she decided acting was what she wanted to do for the rest of her life, without even knowing it’s an actual job, and a very hard one. That night her parents gave her a bouquet of lilies and a gold charm bracelet, that came with a caduceus symbol to represent her father’s part since medicine was his passion and one with a shell to represent her mother’s part because she was crazily in love with the ocean and a huge heart in the middle.

“This heart represents yours, so don’t ever forget how big your heart is and how goodness should always be present in your life” were the exact words her mother told her and until today sometimes Anna clings to the bracelet and recites the words in her mind, remembering the grin on Ian and Eleanor faces when they gave it to her. They hoped to be around for a long time, time enough to see her fill the bracelet with dreams and accomplishments, but again, she could only hope.

Then there was the most horrible night of her life, as she was eating ice cream before dinner because her grandma couldn’t resist her pretty face of an adorable nine years old Anna Grey, the big round cheeks and the already intense grey eyes. She was about to finish the chocolate part when grandma entered the kitchen, tears welling down her eyes and falling quickly as she looked at her granddaughter, the newest orphan in town. It was the night she found out her parents died in a car accident, the night her whole world fell apart. Athena stayed awake most of the night, holding her granddaughter while she cried silently and in the morning she told Anna they were all each other had from now on. It was the same night that little Anna Grey understood what loneliness meant, the first time the weight of living passed on her still young shoulders.

The night she moved to New York was a night after Athena passed way, she was only fifthteen and didn’t want to be taken by the social services, it was pouring rain and so cold she almost froze to death sitting in the last row at one of the dirtiest theaters in town but it was the only place she could break in without being caught. It was the beginning of her beautiful journey in big city of New York, and full of dreams, or at least that’s what she thought back there. Today she saw the whole thing as the last day she stood by and let everything just happen to her, after that she learned that you gotta take the reins of your life before it’s too late. But it wasn’t until the next memorable night of her life that she actually took the reins, the most important night of her life until now.

New York is one of the biggest and most populated cities in the world, with the amount of bars almost as high as the people and yet Maxwell and Drake choose exactly her bar to celebrate Liam’s bachelor party. It was a hot and busy night, Anna was counting the minutes until she could get home to her comfy and lonely bed, well actually she wasn’t looking forward that much. Times were rough for her with the actress future seeming every day further away from her, the weight of having nobody to lay on besides herself and with her annoying boss reducing her pay she was broke too. That’s why when Daniel asked her to take care of the bachelor party that had just arrived she said yes, having nothing better to do and hoping the tips would be good, not even in her dreams wandering she would be meeting the love of her life. But most importantly, this was the night that changed everything.

Anna’s had a few really memorable nights in her life but none of them could compare to tonight.

She knew that the minute Liam came out of the shadows, a tiny smile hiding in his expression as he steps closer to her.

“Was that Olivia?”

“Yes.”

“Did she bother you?”

“No. Not at all, she told me something I’ve been needing to know for a long time.”

“Oh.”

Liam looks truly surprised and shrugs at the subject before giving it too much thought, because he has something more important do deal with right now.

“I’m glad you’re here Liam, I needed to talk to you alone.”

“Then why don’t we go to the maze? It’s a more… private place to talk.”

He nods in the direction of a few drunken nobles who stumble at the palace garden door, only a few feet from them. That makes Anna agree, placing her hand on his arm and starting to plan a speech in her head while they walk.

“But first…”

Liam stands in front of her and touches her nose with his hand, causing Anna to chuckle and blush in an adorable way as he holds her face with his hands. Their eyes meet and with her still smiling they share a gentle but passionate kiss.

“You look cute when you blush.”

“Well, you would know since you’re the person that makes me blush the most. Like in the entire wide world.”

Anna knew she was dodging the subject, letting herself get loose in the caring way Liam treats her and how good it feels to have someone who truly loves you. Her guilty thoughts are interrupted by his voice.

“Would you mind if I speak first?”

“No. Not at all.”

‘One hour you’re gonna have to face him, but maybe later tonight?’ The American hoped as the classic music coming from the ball slowly started to get lower and lower.

The night was chilly and she could feel herself growing colder, hints getting herself closer to his body that emanates heat. Before Liam can offer her his blazer they arrive inside the maze and a shiver runs all over her body, knocking the wind from beneath her.

Anna always thought the maze was a special and beautiful place, very meaningful to both of them but tonight it looks just breathtaking. There are fairy lights everywhere, creating a romantic and cozy atmosphere, a trail of red roses traces the path to the swing, where a huge bouquet awaits with roses matching the maze’s. Liam grins proudly at her side while they walk towards the swing, her hands touching the lights around the bushes and a huge smile forming on her lips.

“This… is…”

There aren’t words to describe her surprise as she stares at the beautiful man standing in front of her, handing her the bouquet.

“I meant to do this in New York, at our spot near the Statue of Liberty, where it all started, however with my father’s condition and our rushed back here I thought it was better to wait. To do it in the right way.”

“Liam it looks beautiful. Reminds me of…”

“The Coronation.”

She nods smelling the flowers and Liam reaches for her hand, feeling overwhelmed by the beautiful woman he’s about to propose to.

“That night didn’t go as planned and I promised there would be another night where I could make everything right again. I was going to propose to you that night, in front of the entire court. Not doing so will remain the deepest regret of my life. Still, perhaps it’s destiny that it happened this way because tonight’s perfect, just you and me.”

Liam’s ocean blue eyes are burning onto her grey ones as Anna’s mind wanders to the memories of Coronation, the night everything went down for the first time. She fights the images in her head, from the first time she kissed Drake and the first time he wore a suit to impress her, taking her breath away with the glimpse of his smile until the moment he tried to protect her from the guards. She’s not supposed to be thinking about Drake right now so she closes her eyes for a second and focuses on the memories of Liam’s promises that night, the way he looked at her and how she felt utterly happy that someone cared about her again. How their connection made her heart feel warm and safe again, that she’d finally have somebody who wouldn’t leave her. That night she would have said yes to him, but tonight she’s not that sure.

“Well, not exactly just you and me.”

There’s a sneaky and playful smile on his lips as he whistles, pats on his leg and calls Dude who comes running from a near bush in his adorable little suit. She notices there’s something bigger than his normal dog collar, Anna’s still stunt with the surprise.

“I hope you don’t mind my borrowing him tonight. He looks too good in his suit to pass it. Don’t you Dude?”

“What’s he here for?”

“I’ll see in a minute.”

“Anna, you’ve opened my eyes… It has been a true honor to witness your strength in the face of every challenge you have overcome. It’s a strength which lends me courage. I know that I will be a better man for having you by my side. All I want in this world is to dedicate my life to being the best man and king that I can be… for you.”

The king sinks to one knee, taking the little box that hangs from Dude’s collar and presenting it to Anna.

“Duchess Anna Grey, queen of my heart, I have yearned to say these four words for a very, very long time…”

“Liam.”

Both of their hearts are beating so fast it seems like it might come out of their bodies, emotion taking control of every single nerve inside them but for completely different reasons.

Liam opens the box with the biggest and brightest smile he’s ever had, exposing a ring as bright and beautiful as his own smile. The words that waited so long finally coming out of his mouth and Liam knows they’re probably the most right thing he will ever say in his life.

“Will you marry me?”

The answer makes time stop for Anna, her head being crashed with memories of those few memorable nights and the many more there’s to come, it’s time to decide with who she wants to spend it. She thinks about how this decision will affect every single relationship she has, trying to wrap her mind around the fact that this sets not only her future but Liam’s, Drake’s, House Beaumont's and even Cordonia’s.

And her decision is taken by that same thought, because as soon as his name appears in her mind, it’s like she can feel him here again and all those sentiments floating around her and as usual, he doesn’t leave even when she desperately wants him to. Anna finally sees that there was never a decision to be made, they’re completely in love with each other and as much ash they fight against it, it’s the simple and plain truth.

Drake.

“I can’t marry you. I’m in love with someone else.”

Liam stands up again and Anna puts the bouquet back in its place over the swing, her grey irises cautiously looking for his blue warmth but finding and ice cold instead. Tears start to build in both of their eyes as they hold each other’s gaze.

“Who?”

It’s like there’s a knife entering his heart, the worst part being that he knew something was going on between her and his best friend however Liam was fool enough to believe in the end she would choose him.

“Drake.”

The name is almost a whisper that they both say, a taunted and sour taste to Liam’s mouth since there’s a hint of love for him on her sweet tone. He can see how sorry she is, Anna’s face is twisted in a pain expression that makes his anger dissipate just a little bit.

“You knew?”

Liam inhales deeply, focusing his gaze on one of the sparkly lights behind her because to him face those grey big eyes would be to much. Her question makes him regret saying anything, the fear of admitting how he ignored their feelings and blindly choose to believe on her sentiment for him prevent him from answering right away but Anna is waiting anxiously.

She knows how hurt he must be so she lets him take his time, simply stands there with her hands fold and the eyes staring at the blankness of the night. Hoping the hard part of the night is over and in just a few hours she will realize just how misplaced that hope was. Liam sits on the swing and gives space so that she’ll sit by his side, both without the courage to look anywhere but their own feet.

“I didn’t knew. I mean, I saw the long looks and the way you both seemed happier around each other. You’re a pretty good actress so you made a really good job hiding your feelings but Drake, not so much. Especially for someone who has known him his whole life.”

At the mention of him she turns to him, a big and heavy question forming inside of her head as she calculates either to ask it or not.

‘Hell, I’ve already broken his heart by saying no, how can one question make it worse?’ is the thought followed by her shaken voice in a:

“Then why did you propose?”

“Because I thought in the end, you’d choose me.”

Finally she looks up, staring at his lowered head and feeling the pain in his words and taking a deep sigh before caressing Liam’s arm. The words that leave her mouth are so true, so full of sentiment that Anna plans to keep hidden for a long time but that somehow found their way out.

“Who I love was never a choice.”

It’s time for Liam to look up, the blue-green-ish irises filled with tears that he planned to hide from her because he knows she’s telling the truth however he too sees her when she answers his next question.

“But lying to me was, so it’s my turn to ask, why?”

The moment she sees his tears, her own start forming and she understands just how much her past made her who she is now. Her scars appear from beneath the surface and she feels everything again so intensely.

“Because of this…”

Anna picks up the hem of her dress and lifts it up enough for him to see a charm bracelet wrapped around her ankle, with four gold charms hanging over and immediately he recognizes it. It’s the bracelet she always has on her wrist, he also remembers that she never mentioned anything about the jewelry.

“You always use it in your wrist.”

“Yeah, Olivia didn’t approved with the outfit so I had to hide it under the dress.”

“I’m still not sure how that explains your lying.”

“My parents got me this when I was seven, after my first school play. The caduceus symbol represents my father, since medicine was his passion and the shell represents my mother, considering how much she loved the sea and it reminded her of the Greek Islands where her parents met. And the big heart in the middle, that’s my symbol, it’s supposed to express my biggest feature. They told me that night that this bracelet meant hope, that it was supposed to be filled with dreams and important things to me, it’s meant to make me embrace the past and believe in the future.”

Tears leaver her eyes and the last words are no more than whispers, memories echoing in her mind by the mention of Ian and Eleanor. Liam cleans them with his thumb and waits for her to continue.

“They died two years later in a car accident. Leaving me alone with only my grandma Athena, who took me into her home and raised me until I was fifteen. My father’s family was small and by the time I was born, he had already lost most of them and had only me and mom. My mom’s family, or better saying, my grandma Athena’s family lived in Greece where she was born but expelled from because she got pregnant before the wedding. So when Athena died I was fifteen and completely alone, I ran from my hometown Chicago and got shelter at New York so that the social service wouldn’t find me and send me to a foster family. The owl represents my grandma Athena since the it’s the symbol of the great goddess, it was the first thing I bought when I arrived in New York.”

“I had no idea that you’ve had such a difficult childhood.”

“I don’t usually talk about this with anybody.”

“Why?”

“Because I had to keep that hidden for a long time, until I was eighteen nobody could know that I was totally alone. I guess I got used to hiding it after because it just hurts too damn much, so it’s not something I bring up in a date with the King of Cordonia.”

She lets out a smirk and holds his hand, not so sure if she’ll be able to fully express her feelings without breaking down in sobs and tears. But she has to try, she owes him to at least try.

“The thing is Liam… I lied to you because my whole life I’ve been alone, felt so lonely that sometimes it was hard to even breath, I had nobody on my corner outside from the ghosts of my family. So I hold on to anything that means love and when I came here, there was so many amazing people who seemed to care for me and I was so scared that if I hurted any of you, you would leave me. And I couldn’t be alone anymore. But I guess I hurt you even more by lying, I’m so sorry.”

His gaze softens when he looks at her again, the tears rolling down her face in silent and the grip on his hand becoming stronger. Anna can’t control the emotion inside herself, talking about the past and her parents, revealing to him how vulnerable she actually is makes her wounds too exposed to cover.

Liam catches both of her hands on his and turns to her, looking into her eyes to assure her of how sure he’s at the next words.

“I’ll never leave you. No matter what happens. And here,” he gestures to their surroundings before getting back to her eyes again.“You’ll never be alone.”

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kpopfanfixture-blog · 7 years

Text

The Vacation, Pt III

Adult themes ;)

Although dinner had been a large success (mostly thanks to Eunha’s skills in the kitchen and less to do with you who had spent most of the time just being tasked with the job of getting things out of the cupboards and chopping vegetables), you found that you didn’t have much of an appetite. The memory of Minhyuk walking through the dorm in that towel and flashing you that perfect smile kept flashing in your mind every time you looked over at him across the table. Part of you hoped he’d intended for you to see him half naked and wet, but another part of you scolded yourself for letting Eunha’s wild ideas get inside your head. Ever since Eunha had started teasing that Minhyuk might feel some form of attraction towards you, you’d spent most of your time like a preteen with a crush, fantasizing about him and going all shy when he spoke to you. It was making it increasingly impossible to talk to him. How could he even like you when you’d barely spoken three sentences to him since being here?

“Thank you for dinner, girls,” Jiho said as he pushed his plate towards the centre of the table and rubbed his stomach, leaning back in his chair with a big smile on his face. Everyone murmured in agreement, and you almost felt guilty that Eunha had done majority of the hard work.

Once everyone was finished, they all moved into the living room area. Jiho disappeared for a moment, coming back after everyone else had chosen their seats with a box of beers in his hands. He passed one out to each person and plopped himself down next to Eunha who had been conversing with Taeil and batting her eyelashes flirtily as she always did so naturally. You watched her realise Jiho was the one who had sat down next to her and turn her attention directly to him.

“Is she always like this?” A voice said beside you, causing you to jump in surprise. You turned towards the sound to Minhyuk standing to your right looking incredibly amused. You looked directly to where his attentions were directed and saw Eunha laughing heartily and playfully slapping Jiho’s arm.

You sighed, used to this kind of conversation. Usually it was with strange men who had taken a fancy to Eunha and just wanted to strike up a conversation with her friend as a way in. “Yes and no.” Minhyuk looked at you curiously for explanation, and you could feel his stare, but you couldn’t look directly at him. “She is a massive flirt without even realising.”

Minhyuk laughed beside you and it made your stomach flip flop all the way over. “I gathered that - it was a bit overwhelming when I first met her.”

Your stomach stopped flip flopping and you felt the pang of jealousy at the idea of Eunha flipping her hair and laughing just a little too much at Minhyuk’s subpar jokes the way she was doing with Jiho right now. You had never met any man who could resist her charms, even when she wasn’t trying.

“Overwhelming?” You asked.

He nodded and took a sip of his beer. “I’m not used to a girl being quiet so confident like that. Or maybe that’s not the right word - maybe, so straight-forward?”

You understood what he meant. Lot’s of girls were as confident as Eunha, but not so many were as direct about their intentions as Eunha was. But you still laughed, a little bitterly. “Bet you loved it.”

“She’s not my type.” He said seriously, and you could feel him staring right at you. You braved a glance over at him and blushed immediately when you found his stare too intense. You looked away even though you wished you were brave enough to stare right back and ask him who his type was. Eunha would do it, but then again he’d just said she wasn’t his type. Did he mean you were his type? It certainly felt like that was the underlying message, but to assume would be foolish.

You coughed. “I think she really does like Jiho, though. I’ve never seen her really like someone before.” You said matter-of-factly, trying to change the conversation to a topic that felt a little tense. “Don’t tell anyone I said that,” You said quickly, realising she would probably not like you saying that - both because she would deny it’s true, but also she wouldn’t want everyone knowing.”

He opened his mouth, but Jaehyo suddenly yelled over whatever he was going to say. “Should we all go to a bar?” There were murmurs of agreement, and discussions about where would be a great place to go that night. Eunha looked over at you and grinned with a sparkle in her eye. This was definitely down to her - at least in part. You rolled your eyes and laughed. Going out to a bar would be a lot of effort, she just wanted an excuse to wear that new dress.

Eunha jumped up excitedly and ran over to the door to slip on her shoes. You followed behind her knowing you didn’t really have much of a say in all this. “We’ll go back to the hotel and get ready quickly - text us when you’re leaving and we’ll meet you there!”

Her enthusiasm was contagious - going to a bar and looking all nice did excite you too. You hoped that Minhyuk would think you looked good. You wanted him to see you and gasp like boys do in romance movies. Not that life was ever that perfect, but a girl could always dream.

“I told you we would have a chance to wear our new outfits!” Eunha babbled at the desk where she was currently applying her foundation in the mirror. Her makeup was spread out over the whole desk, leaving you with absolutely no space to do your own makeup. You resided to putting on your outfit first - she wouldn’t take long, anyway.

You pulled on your new long-sleeved, satin, wrap-around body in a deep scarlet that she’d convinced you to purchase yesterday. “Only because you set it up that way!” You pointed out and Eunha stuck her tongue out at you in the mirror. “Who did you whisper that idea to first?”

She grinned, putting her makeup back into her bag and plugged in her curling iron. “Taeil and Jihoon - easy targets.”

You moisturised your legs, nervous at not having tights on with the leather miniskirt you’d paired with your top. “Of course you did - Jihoon loves a drink.” You laughed, thinking back to the most recent family party where Jihoon had spent the majority of the evening red-faced and dancing away at the centre of the room with all the middle-aged women.

Eunha turned to you. “Do a smoky eye with that.” She gestured towards you outfit and smiled. “You look amazing - Minhyuk won’t be able to keep his hands off you.”

You tried not to look too alarmed. “I’m not going to have sex with him!” You knew what Eunha was like, she would encourage all kinds of naughty behaviour if it meant someone got their end away.

She sighed, amused as she swiped a clear gloss onto her plump, peach lips. “I think he’ll talk to you tonight about the two of you, though.”

She eyed your reaction in the mirror and you tried to remain as neutral as possible, even though your heart had jumped up into your throat and was threatening to come out. “This all seems a bit much when we haven’t really spoken.” You didn’t want to get your hopes up, Eunha had a tendency to get carried away, and there was no guarantee that Minhyuk would say anything to you at all tonight. In which case, you were going to look stupid if you let him get to you.

Eunha had just slipped into her skin-tight, lilac midi-dress and was smoothing down the material. “You’re obviously attracted to one another though-” You shot her a look and she rolled her eyes. “Besides, you could always start talking to him.” She seemed to be forgetting that you were only here for a week and you’d only just gotten out of a relationships. Starting something like this seemed difficult and pointless.

“Are you going to talk to Jiho?” You asked, and she tried to look calm and she pulled a small comb through her hair, but she faltered a little in the mirror.

“We’re just flirting.” She said casually with a shrug. But you didn’t believe her. “Anyway, he’s text me directions to where they’ve gone. We’re not far, we might as well walk there.”

The bar they had all chosen to go to was cool, and filled with equally cool people, leaving you feeling just a little out of place. It served food during the day, but after 11pm it turned into a nightclub. The boys had managed to snag a VIP booth upstairs for a little more privacy - apparently Jiho knew the owner and as soon as they had turned up, staff had ushered them straight upstairs and handed out a whole load of free alcohol. Jihoon had to come and get you to verify you were telling the truth, and when you and Eunha got to the table, there was a glass of something sparkling waiting for each of you.

“You look amazing!” Jihoon shouted over the music at you, and you blushed and looked down at the ground. He came over to you and wrapped an arm round your shoulder, squeezing it roughly and shaking you. “Minhyuk, doesn’t she look good?!”

You immediately looked over at him when Jihoon called his name and felt a little ashamed at how hopeful you must have looked. He nodded, staring straight back at you unabashedly. “She looks beautiful.” The words sent your heart into a frenzy. Looking back at him for so long gave you a chance to notice exactly how good he looked. He’d styled his hair upwards specifically to go to the bar, revealing his forehead (Something you never knew you could find sexy before) and he was smiling just enough to reveal his dimples. His answer seemed to please Jihoon, you was grinning so wide you thought he might hurt himself.

“Guys, move up for the girls.” You heard Kyung yell across the booth and everyone squeezed up to make room for you both. You instantly felt flustered when you saw Eunha move straight over to where Jiho was sitting on the end and sit in his lap. You were not going to be doing that to Minhyuk, even though you really wanted to talk to him. But conveniently it seemed that everyone had moved so that the spot left free was next to him. You bashfully sat down, crossing your legs awkwardly in the miniskirt, suddenly feeling self-conscious in it now that you were sitting down and had to worry about flashing your underwear.

It was silent for a second too long as you struggled to think of something to say. “How long have you been here?” You eventually asked, desperate to at least start the conversation even if your head had gone completely blank. You leaned over and grabbed your drink, taking a long gulp from it hoping it would give you some liquid courage.

“Is that your small talk?” He chuckled, leaning back and throwing his arms over the back of the sofa. You had to turn to look at him and when you did, you didn’t regret it. He looked so confident and sexy and relaxed. If it were up to you, you would be leaning back into those arms and not talking at all.

“Well what do you want to talk about then?” You asked.

“What did you think of my solo performance today?” He asked and you blushed even deeper than you thought were possible. The memory of him stroking his hands down your shoulders flashed through your mind and you shivered. It had only been a little movement, but the effect it had had on you was undeniable.

“You’re very talented.”

“There’s more what that came from.” He said as he took a sip of his drink, and you noticed that this was the most confident he had seemed any other time you had seen him. How much had he had to drink? “Thank you for volunteering,” he then paused. “Well, for being coerced into it.”

“You definitely could have used a dancer,” you pointed out, feeling the alcohol starting to take effect and giving you more bravery.

He playfully traced a pattern on your shoulder with his fingers, and the touch felt like little sparks across your skin. “I wanted you to do it.”

You took another deep drink, needing more if he was going to be talking to you this way all night. He was saying just enough to come across flirty, but barely anything at the same time. It was so frustrating. What if you were misunderstanding the whole situation?

“Why?” You asked quickly, struggling to get that one word out. But he never got a chance to answer, as Eunha grabbed your hands and dragged you off to the women’s bathroom.

As she flicked her hair in the mirror and wiped at her lipgloss before reapplying, she kept looking over at you nervously. “I need help.”

“What’s wrong?” You asked, alarmed at the skitterish way Eunha was behaving. You’d never seen her this way.

“I really like him and I don’t know what to do.”

You breathed a sigh of relief, glad to know that nothing was seriously wrong. It was also nice to know that she wasn’t going to continue this ridiculous charade of pretending that she didn’t really like Jiho.

“We’ve been texting non-stop, I don’t know how to act around him now.”

You laughed, this was going to be hilarious. “Just carry on doing what you’ve been doing - except maybe only flirt with Jiho from now on.” The idea was comical - Eunha not flirting with every man in her vicinity went against her very nature. But Eunha took a deep breath and nodded.

“What’s going on with you and Minhyuk? You were sitting so close, it looked like I was interrupting something.” You raised an eyebrow, looking at her in the reflection of the mirror before starting to preen yourself. Despite thinking she may have been interrupting something, clearly it didn’t stop her.

“What?” She asked innocently when she finally noticed the face you were pulling at her. You shook your head in dismissal. There was no point saying anything about it - especially when inebriated.

After trying (and mostly failing) to sort out your messy hair, you gave a deep sigh and accepted it was never going to look any better than it did now. At least your makeup was still on point. “Come on, let’s go back.” You said, and Eunha’s eyes flickered with panic as you headed out the door back towards the booth.

Jiho had been lurking by the VIP bar alone where there was a clear view of the ladies bathroom; he had obviously been waiting for you to come out and as soon as he noticed you, he stood up straight and grabbed the two full glasses that had been sat on the bar beside him. Eunha said nothing to you as she skipped past you and over to him, wrapping her arms round his neck and giggling. You watched as he handed her one of the drinks and whispered something in her ear. Eunha giggled and nodded, taking a sip of the drink before taking Jiho’s free hand and leading him down to the main dancefloor. You smiled, they looked so cute and happy to see each other.

Back at the booth, only Kyung, Jaehyo and Minhyuk were still there. “Where is Jihoon?” You asked as Jaehyo and Kyung stared over the balcony ledge and pointed at something interesting, cracking up at whatever it was they were seeing. You avoided eye-contact with Minhyuk, slightly irked that the mood between the both of you had been disturbed in the first place. How were you supposed to re-approach him now?

“He’s down there, dancing with a group of girls,” Jaehyo rolled his eyes as he turned to you, propping his arms up on the balcony.

“You’re just jealous because they wouldn’t dance with you,” Minhyuk jibed, and you suppressed a laugh, feeling a little bad for laughing at Jaehyo’s expense. He wasn’t the most natural dancer you’d ever seen.

Jaehyo pouted and crossed his arms, “I’m the best looking guy here, they so would dance with me!” He turned to Kyung and poked him in the arm to get his attention. “Come on.” He gestured towards the stairs and Kyung’s eyes lit up at the idea of being in the centre of all those women. As they ran down to the main area like excited school children, you hopped over to the ledge to observe how they would get on. It took a few seconds before they reappeared and instantly dived into the middle of the dancefloor with no hesitation. They shimmied into the group with ease, settling in a spot near Jihoon and you laughed when you saw some of the girls take notice of them and turn to dance. The boys were certainly in their element.

You felt Minhyuk’s presence beside you as soon as he stood up close. It would be so easy to shuffle closer so that your bodies were touching. He wrapped his hands around the bar atop of the ledge, and you tried not to think about those hands and all the places they could go.

“Are they not worried about their image?” You asked, looking down at the rest of the boys dancing just a little too close to some girls to be just friendly. You felt your own amusement tinge with worry. But Minhyuk just chuckled.

“Have you not seen our group?”

Point taken. You turned your head to look at him and noticed how even his profile was perfect. It was tempting to reach out and touch his face, but you resisted and he had caught you admiring him long before you would have had the chance to anyway. He grinned, the fluorescent lighting making his teeth stand out shockingly white against his skin. “Like what you see?” He asked cheekily.

You blushed. This was the most explicitly forward he had been this whole time. You felt silly not being able to come up with a reply, but even that seemed to provide enjoyment for him. You moved over to the table and poured yourself another drink and sat down on the sofa, but Minhyuk stuck his hand out towards you. You looked up at him curiously. “Come dance with me.” He asked, still grinning.

“I can’t dance.” You could hear the nervousness in your voice.

He rolled his eyes. “We aren’t going to be doing choreography, you’ll be fine.” Then he grabbed your hand before you had a chance to argue and pulled you up gracefully. You weren’t going to be able to get out of this. He led you downstairs to the main dancefloor, but the pair of you stayed closer to the edge of the crowd, not going towards where the others were dancing. He wrapped your hands around his neck and placed his hands on your hips, helping you sway alone to the music in time. Your heart was thumping a mile a minute being so close to him and it only quickened when he pulled you in even closer and leaned down so his face was in the crook of your neck. You could feel his lips grazing the skin there, and your body begged for him to kiss that spot. You rubbed closer to him, pressing your entire torso against him and grinding a little, which he seemed to be enjoying. He turned his head and kissed your cheek and you felt the heat pool in your stomach with desire. You kissed him on the cheek back, a little closer to his lips than he had done to you, hoping he would go in for a full kiss. But then the song changed to something you didn’t recognise and so the two of you pulled apart awkwardly. Just in time you felt your phone buzz against your leg inside your bag and you pulled it out as a distraction.

Gone hoem wiht Jiho! S ee you tomorrow! Xxxxx

You laughed and showed Minhyuk the text with a wink. He chuckled as soon as he’d finished reading and then leant in, one hand cupping your chin. “I’ll make sure you get home safe, don’t worry.” And then he kissed your forehead tenderly. Your stomach fluttered at the thought of him coming home with you, but you couldn’t run away with your fantasies when the two of you hadn’t even managed a kiss on the lips.

Jaehyo clocked the pair of you then, and ran over, grabbing both of your arms so he could pull you in to dance with everyone bar Jiho and Eunha who had now all come together in the centre of the dancefloor. While you danced, your hand kept brushing Minhyuk’s and each stroke of the skin caused more excited. It was undeniably distracting - he had to be doing it on purpose.

As the night was winding down to a close, everyone started to pile out of the bar. Minhyuk stopped you, grasping the material of your jacket to slow you down. You turned to look at him, curious as to what he wanted, but he didn’t stop walking completely, merely draping his arm over your shoulder to carry on walking out. Taeil turned back when he realised the two of you were missing and he pulled a cheeky smile when he saw the two of you together.

“Honestly you don’t have to go out of your way, I can make it home on my own. It’s not far.” You pointed out, suddenly feeling a little shy now that you were out in the open.

Suddenly Minhyuk stopped where he was, turning to you and cupping your face with his hands, and then there it was. Soft, plump lips gently pressed against yours. Cautious, but with a hunger you could feel in the way his body pressed against yours. As you recepted to his advance, the kiss got a little deeper, but stayed at that achingly slow, sensual pace. It was head-swirling and passionate in a way you hadn’t been kissed for a long time. Too much and not enough all at once. You pushed your body closer to him and felt his hard length pressed against your leg and you knew right then if he offered sex to you, you would take it.

“EYYYYYYY!!!” You heard cheers in the distance and pulled away from the kiss to see where it was coming from. Up at the top of the hill, four familiar figures were fist pumping in the air, cheering and hooting and generally causing a commotion. Minhyuk grinned and your heart fluttered once again, a thousand butterflies trapped inside. Everyone had been rooting for this, apparently. Including Minhyuk judging by how hard he was smiling.

He placed his hand in yours and started to walk, swinging your arms with each step. He was walking much slower than was necessary, obviously trying to prolong the journey. The bar wasn’t that far from the hotel - ten minutes at most, but it was too close if he was going to drop you off and go back home, leaving you alone. If he was feeling anything like you, it was almost a sad feeling. But the kiss had given you a warm feeling in your chest as though you were glowing on the inside, and you couldn’t stop smiling.

“I wasn’t sure if you would kiss me back.” He said matter-of-factly and you couldn’t believe he hadn’t clocked how obvious it was that you were attracted to him. Especially as everyone within a 10 mile radius seemed to notice.

“How long have you wanted to?” You asked, feeling brave, although you would definitely feel embarrassed about asking that in the morning.

He looked ahead, suddenly quiet, and you watched him curiously as you waited for his answer. Minhyuk’s face was perfect. Not flawless, but absolutely perfect. When he spoke, it made you jump out of your daydream. “When you walked in on the first day wearing those odd socks.” Your instant reaction was to assume that he was making fun of you, but the look on his face suggested he was being completely serious. “It was cute.” You rolled your eyes trying to keep it cool, despite the fact that you were completely embarrassed by it. “We’re here.” He said quietly and you looked up to see the stone brickwork of your hotel building.

“Walk me to my room?” You asked, hoping it sounded more innocent than it was. Now that you were here, part of you wanted to take him straight upstairs and rip each other’s clothes off, but a niggling voice was telling you you probably shouldn’t. Your ex’s face flashed in your mind for the first time since you had been here, and you felt a familiar dull ache in the pit of your stomach.

“Sure,” he smiled - just a small smile, an almost shy smile, and it was so cute you squashed the bad feeling back down. The walk up to your room hand-in-hand was a silent one, and you wondered what was going through his mind. As the door to your room came in sight, you slowed to a halt, lingering for a moment just staring at one another.

You wanted to invite him inside, but what if he didn’t want to come in? What if he laughed right in your face? Maybe not laugh, possibly reject you horribly in disgust. “What are you thinking about?” He asked, snapping you out of your thoughts.

You watched his lips, and Minhyuk closed the space between you. Taking both your hands and playing with them in his own. “You’re so mysterious,” he said, almost moaning and you blushed.

“Sorry.” What else could you say? But Minhyuk tipped your chin up, forcing you to look up at him. What was going through his mind? He talked about you being mysterious and yet he barely gave anything away. He leant in and pressed his lips against yours, slow at first but the warmth spreading from your lower regions couldn’t handle how torturously slow your bodies were moving against each other. You took the lead, picking up the pace, open-mouthed and breathy before you felt his warm tongue delicately swipe across your lips. His hands moved - one cupping your chin and the other slowly drifting down to wrap around your waist and pull you in closer. You felt that familiar hard length against your thigh, and you rubbed your body against his to create friction as your fingers laced through his silky black hair. You broke the kiss, needing air and he moved the kisses down from your cheek to your neck, releasing a small moan from your body that you didn’t know you were capable of making.

He growled, his hands moving to the front of your blouse and fondling your breasts through your silk material. You desperately wished there were less clothes between you so he could play with your body freely and as your breathing got heavier and faster, you tried to fumble through your bag to find the keycard to your room.

Bzzz, Bzzzz, Bzzzz, Bzzzz

Minhyuk chuckled into your neck, the breath tickling you. “Tell me that’s something we can use and not your phone.”

You groaned and pulled your phone out as Minhyuk took a step back. It was Eunha - why was she calling now? This would be the second time she had interrupted a crucial moment with Minhyuk and you couldn’t pretend it wasn’t starting to get on your nerves.

“Hello?” You answered, and you heard Eunha giggle and hush whoever was talking to her before she turned her attention to your voice.

“I’m on my way-” more giggling, “back now! Jiho is walking me home.”

Your heart sank as your eyes flickered towards Minhyuk who looked delightfully disarranged, his hair all tousled from your eager fingers and his clothes rumpled from the excitement. He was watching you hungrily, and his hands had already restarted playing with material of your shirt.

“Really? I thought you would stay there.” You felt Minhyuk freeze. Disappointment as you both realised this wasn’t going to happen.

You heard Jiho say something in the background, and there was a smacking of lips. Gross. You did not want to hear the two of them making out. “I wanted to come home! I don’t want you to be alone!” Her voice was loud and cheerful and despite being irritated, you knew her heart was in the right place. Even if you felt a bit hurt that she didn’t truly believe you could have brought Minhyuk home with you. You hung up and stood quietly, staring at the space over Minhyuk’s shoulder for a moment. He sighed heavily and you looked over at him, grimacing.

“Eunha’s coming back to the hotel.”

He nodded and then shoved his hand into his jean pocket, holding out his phone and giving it to you. You looked down at it, confused and he laughed.

“Don’t just stare at it, put your number in.”

You blushed, liking the idea that this might not just be a one off - or at the very least there was a chance you would actually get to have sex with him before this vacation was over. After you had tapped your number in and handed it back, Minhyuk stepped closer again. “I’ll text you.” And then he gave you one sweet kiss to the lips, and released a small groan. “This was not how I was hoping this would go.” He pulled away, stroking your cheek gently. “See you soon.” And then he was gone.

#block b #b-bomb #bbomb #romance #smut

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thesnhuup · 4 years

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Pop Picks – June 15, 2020

What I’m reading:

I am almost in despair for the way the pandemic has reduced my reading time, some combination of longer days, lack of plane time, and mental distraction, I think. However, I just finished Marguerite Yourcenar’s magisterial Memoirs of Hadrian, a historical novel, though I hesitate to call it that because A) she would likely reject the term, B) it is so much more, and C) it stands among the towering pieces of mid-century literature for so many. It’s that last point about which I feel so sheepish. As a reasonably well-read person, how did I miss this one? It is a work of stunning achievement (don’t miss her exhaustive bibliography or end notes), highly refined style, and as much philosophy as anything else. It won’t be for everyone and you have to power through the first chapter, but it is a remarkable book. I’m intrigued to use it as a reading on leadership.

What I’m watching:

When I can finally turn off the computer screen, I find myself drawn to the television screen for its less demanding passivity. Pat and I absolutely reveled in the ten-minute installments of State of the Union (Sundance Channel), written by Nick Hornby, one of my favorite writers. It is stunningly good – witty, smart, warm, painful, and powered by the chemistry of its two utterly charming leads, Rosamund Pike and Chris O’Dowd. It’s just two people – funny and smart – trying to salvage their marriage and talking, in ten-minute snippets, in a pub and no one writes dialogue like Hornby. We devoured it. If you asked me to watch two people talk about their marriage for 100 minutes, I’d have said “no thanks.” But this was sheer, unequivocal delight. And because all great comedy is closely related to tragedy, there is more substance and depth and complexity here than sheer delight might suggest.

I don’t usually do two recommendations in my categories, but we also watched Spike Lee’s Da 5 Bloods. It is long, flawed, and uneven – but Spike Lee remains one of our most brilliant directors and Delroy Lindo already has my vote for Best Male Actor for his Shakespearian performance as one of the four buddies who go back to Vietnam to reclaim treasure, find the remains of their friend, and address the trauma of the war they fought then and the war fought against them as Black men in America. Even flawed Spike Lee is better than 95% of what makes it onto the screen and while made before George Floyd’s death, it feels so well suited for the time. Powerful.

What I’m listening to:

Protest music. Chronological and cleaned up for listening at home (if we could include the f-word, it would be a lot longer (see Nipsey Hussle or Kendrick Lamar), Pat put it together and you can find the playlist here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3z1W5Dbfcn7F9LBFcayTqa?si=u2oxkMTkSFef7_sQy3cNXw

Archive

April 1, 2020

What I’m listening to:

Out of nowhere and 8 years since his last recording, Bob Dylan last Thursday dropped a new single, the 17-minute (the longest Dylan song ever) “Murder Most Foul.” It’s ostensibly about the murder of President John F. Kennedy, but it’s bigger, more incisive, and elegiac than that alone. The music is gorgeous, his singing is lovely (a phrase rarely used for Dylan even in his prime), and he shows why he was deserving of his 2016 Nobel Prize in Literature. It’s worth listening to again and again. The man is a cultural treasure and as relevant as ever.

What I’m reading:

The Milkman by Anna Burns, the 2018 Booker Prize winner, felt like slow going for the first bit, a leisurely stream of consciousness (not my favorite thing) first person tale of an adolescent girl during “the troubles” in 1970’s Northern Ireland. And then enough plot emerges to pull the reader along and tie the frequent and increasingly delightful digressions into the psychology of terror, sexual threat, adolescence, and a community (and world) that will create your narrative and your identity no matter what you know and believe about yourself. It’s layered, full of black humor, and powerful. It also somehow resonates for our times, where we navigate a newfound dread. It’s way more enjoyable than I just made it sound. One of my favorite reads of this young year.

What I’m watching:

I escaped back in time and started re-watching the first season of The West Wing. It is a vision – nostalgic, romantic, perhaps never true – of political leadership driven by higher purpose, American ideals, and moral intelligence. It does not pretend that politics can’t be craven, self-serving, and transactional, but the good guys mostly win in The West Wing, the acting is delightful, and Sorkin’s dialogue zings back and forth in the way of classic Hollywood movies of the 50s – smart, quick, funny. It reminds me – as has often happened during our current crisis – that most people are good and want their community to be a better place. When we appeal to our ideals instead of our fears, we are capable of great things. It’s a nice escape.

February 3, 2020

What I’m listening to:

Spending 21 hours on airplanes (Singapore to Tokyo to Boston) provides lots of time for listening and in an airport shop I picked up a Rolling Stones magazine that listed the top ten albums of the last ten years. I’ve been systematically working through them, starting with Kanye West’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. I just don’t know enough about hip hop and rap to offer any intelligent analysis of the music, and I have always thought of Kanye as kind of crazy (that may still be true), but the music is layered and extravagant and genre-bending. The lyrics seem fascinating and self-reflective, especially around fame and excess and Kanye’s specialty, self-promoting aggrandizement. Too many people I know remain stuck in the music of their youth and while I love those songs too, it feels important to listen to today’s music and what it has to tell us about life and lives far different than our own. And in a case like Twisted Fantasy, it’s just great music and that’s its own justification.

What I’m reading:

I went back to an old favorite, Richard Russo’s Straight Man. If you work in academia, this is a must-read and while written 22 years ago, it still rings true and current. The “hero” of the novel is William Henry Devereaux Jr., the chair of the English Department in a second-tier public university in small-town Pennsylvania. The book is laugh aloud funny (the opening chapter and story about old Red puts me in hysterics every time I read it) and like the best comedy, it taps into the complexity and pains of life in very substantial ways. Devereaux is insufferable in most ways and yet we root for him, mostly because A) he is so damn funny and B) is self-deprecating. But there is also a big heartedness in Russo’s writing and a recognition that everyone is the protagonist of their own story, and life’s essential dramas play out fully in the most modest of places and for the most ordinary of people.

What I’m watching:

I can’t pretend to have an abiding interest in cheerleading, but I devoured the six-episode Netflix series Cheer, about the cheerleading squad at Navarro College, a small two-year college in rural Texas that is a cheerleading powerhouse, winning the National Championship 14 times under the direction of Coach Monica Aldama, the Bill Belichick of cheering. I have a new respect and admiration for the athleticism and demands of cheering (and wonder about the cavalier handling of injuries), but the series is about so much more. It’s about team, about love, about grit and perseverance, bravery, trust, about kids and growing up and loss, and…well, it’s about almost everything and it will make you laugh and cry and exult. It is just terrific.

January 2, 2020

What I’m listening to:

I was never really an Amy Winehouse fan and I don’t listen to much jazz or blue-eyed soul. Recently, eight years after she died at only 27, I heard her single Tears Dry On Their Own and I was hooked (the song was on someone’s “ten things I’d want on a deserted island” list). Since then, I’ve been playing her almost every day. I started the documentary about her, Amy, and stopped. I didn’t much like her. Or, more accurately, I didn’t much like the signals of her own eventual destruction that were evident early on. I think it was D. H. Lawrence that once said “Trust the art, not the artist.” Sometimes it is better not to know too much and just relish the sheer artistry of the work. Winehouse’s Back to Black, which was named one of the best albums of 2007, is as fresh and painful and amazing 13 years later.

What I’m reading:

Alan Bennett’s lovely novella An Uncommon Reader is a what-if tale, wondering what it would mean if Queen Elizabeth II suddenly became a reader. Because of a lucked upon book mobile on palace grounds, she becomes just that, much to the consternation of her staff and with all kinds of delicious consequences, including curiosity, imagination, self-awareness, and growing disregard for pomp. With an ill-framed suggestion, reading becomes writing and provides a surprise ending. For all of us who love books, this is a finely wrought and delightful love poem to the power of books for readers and writers alike. Imagine if all our leaders were readers (sigh).

What I’m watching:

I’m a huge fan of many things – The National, Boston sports teams, BMW motorcycles, Pho – but there is a stage of life, typically adolescence, when fandom changes the universe, provides a lens to finally understand the world and, more importantly, yourself, in profound ways. My wife Pat would say Joni Mitchell did that for her. Gurinder Chadha’s wonderful film Blinded By The Light captures the power of discovery when Javed, the son of struggling Pakistani immigrants in a dead end place during a dead end time (the Thatcher period, from which Britain has never recovered: see Brexit), hears Springsteen and is forever changed. The movie, sometimes musical, sometimes comedy, and often bubbling with energy, has more heft than it might seem at first. There is pain in a father struggling to retain his dignity while he fails to provide, the father and son tension in so many immigrant families (I lived some of that), and what it means to be an outsider in the only culture you actually have ever known.

November 25, 2019

My pop picks are usually a combination of three things: what I am listening to, reading, and watching. But last week I happily combined all three. That is, I went to NYC last week and saw two shows. The first was Cyrano, starring Game of Thrones superstar Peter Dinklage in the title role, with Jasmine Cephas Jones as Roxanne. She was Peggy in the original Hamilton cast and has an amazing voice. The music was written by Aaron and Bryce Dessner, two members of my favorite band, The National, with lyrics by lead singer Matt Berninger and his wife Carin Besser. Erica Schmidt, Dinklage’s wife, directs. Edmond Rostand’s 1897 play is light, dated, and melodramatic, but this production was delightful. Dinklage owns the stage, a master, and his deep bass voice, not all that great for singing, but commanding in the delivery of every line, was somehow a plaintive and resonant counterpoint to Cephas Jones’ soaring voice. In the original Cyrano, the title character’s large nose marks him as outsider and ”other,” but Dinklage was born with achondroplasia, the cause of his dwarfism, and there is a kind of resonance in his performance that feels like pain not acted, but known. Deeply. It takes this rather lightweight play and gives it depth. Even if it didn’t, not everything has to be deep and profound – there is joy in seeing something executed so darn well. Cyrano was delightfully satisfying.

The other show was the much lauded Aaron Sorkin rendition of To Kill a Mockingbird, starring another actor at the very top of his game, Ed Harris. This is a Mockingbird for our times, one in which iconic Atticus Finch’s idealistic “you have to live in someone else’s skin” feels naive in the face of hateful racism and anti-Semitism. The Black characters in the play get more voice, if not agency, in the stage play than they do in the book, especially housekeeper Calpurnia, who voices incredulity at Finch’s faith in his neighbors and reminds us that he does not pay the price of his patience. She does. And Tom Robinson, the Black man falsely accused of rape – “convicted at the moment he was accused,” Whatever West Wing was for Sorkin – and I dearly loved that show – this is a play for a broken United States, where racism abounds and does so with sanction by those in power. As our daughter said, “I think Trump broke Aaron Sorkin.” It was as powerful a thing I’ve seen on stage in years.

With both plays, I was reminded of the magic that is live theater.

October 31, 2019

What I’m listening to:

It drove his critics crazy that Obama was the coolest president we ever had and his summer 2019 playlist on Spotify simply confirms that reality. It has been on repeat for me. From Drake to Lizzo (God I love her) to Steely Dan to Raphael Saadiq to Sinatra (who I skip every time – I’m not buying the nostalgia), his carefully curated list reflects not only his infinite coolness, but the breadth of his interests and generosity of taste. I love the music, but I love even more the image of Michelle and him rocking out somewhere far from Washington’s madness, as much as I miss them both.

What I’m reading:

I struggled with Christy Lefteri’s The Beekeeper of Aleppo for the first 50 pages, worried that she’d drag out every tired trope of Mid-Eastern society, but I fell for her main characters and their journey as refugees from Syria to England. Parts of this book were hard to read and very dark, because that is the plight of so many refugees and she doesn’t shy away from those realities and the enormous toll they take on displaced people. It’s a hard read, but there is light too – in resilience, in love, in friendships, the small tender gestures of people tossed together in a heartless world. Lefteri volunteered in Greek refugee programs, spent a lot of interviewing people, and the book feels true, and importantly, heartfelt.

What I’m watching:

Soap opera meets Shakespeare, deliciously malevolent and operatic, Succession has been our favorite series this season. Loosely based on the Murdochs and their media empire (don’t believe the denials), this was our must watch television on Sunday nights, filling the void left by Game of Thrones. The acting is over-the-top good, the frequent comedy dark, the writing brilliant, and the music superb. We found ourselves quoting lines after every episode. Like the hilarious; “You don’t hear much about syphilis these days. Very much the Myspace of STDs.” Watch it so we can talk about that season 2 finale.

August 30, 2019

What I’m listening to:

I usually go to music here, but the New York Times new 1619 podcast is just terrific, as is the whole project, which observes the sale of the first enslaved human beings on our shores 400 years ago. The first episode, “The Fight for a True Democracy” is a remarkable overview (in a mere 44 minutes) of the centrality of racism and slavery in the American story over those 400 years. It should be mandatory listening in every high school in the country. I’m eager for the next episodes. Side note: I am addicted to The Daily podcast, which gives more color and detail to the NY Times stories I read in print (yes, print), and reminds me of how smart and thoughtful are those journalists who give us real news. We need them now more than ever.

What I’m reading:

Colson Whitehead has done it again. The Nickel Boys, his new novel, is a worthy successor to his masterpiece The Underground Railroad, and because it is closer to our time, based on the real-life horrors of a Florida reform school, and written a time of resurgent White Supremacy, it hits even harder and with more urgency than its predecessor. Maybe because we can read Underground Railroad with a sense of “that was history,” but one can’t read Nickel Boys without the lurking feeling that such horrors persist today and the monsters that perpetrate such horrors walk among us. They often hold press conferences.

What I’m watching:

Queer Eye, the Netflix remake of the original Queer Eye for the Straight Guy some ten years later, is wondrously entertaining, but it also feels adroitly aligned with our dysfunctional times. Episode three has a conversation with Karamo Brown, one of the fab five, and a Georgia small town cop (and Trump supporter) that feels unscripted and unexpected and reminds us of how little actual conversation seems to be taking place in our divided country. Oh, for more car rides such as the one they take in that moment, when a chasm is bridged, if only for a few minutes. Set in the South, it is often a refreshing and affirming response to what it means to be male at a time of toxic masculinity and the overdue catharsis and pain of the #MeToo movement. Did I mention? It’s really fun.

July 1, 2019

What I’m listening to:

The National remains my favorite band and probably 50% of my listening time is a National album or playlist. Their new album I Am Easy To Find feels like a turning point record for the band, going from the moody, outsider introspection and doubt of lead singer Matt Berninger to something that feels more adult, sophisticated, and wiser. I might have titled it Women Help The Band Grow Up. Matt is no longer the center of The National’s universe and he frequently cedes the mic to the many women who accompany and often lead on the long, their longest, album. They include Gail Ann Dorsey (who sang with Bowie for a long time), who is amazing, and a number of the songs were written by Carin Besser, Berninger’s wife. I especially love the Brooklyn Youth Chorus, the arrangements, and the sheer complexity and coherence of the work. It still amazes me when I meet someone who does not know The National. My heart breaks for them just a little.

What I’m reading:

Pat Barker’s The Silence of the Girls is a retelling of Homer’s Iliad through the lens of a captive Trojan queen, Briseis. As a reviewer in The Atlantic writes, it answers the question “What does war mean to women?” We know the answer and it has always been true, whether it is the casual and assumed rape of captive women in this ancient war story or the use of rape in modern day Congo, Syria, or any other conflict zone. Yet literature almost never gives voice to the women – almost always minor characters at best — and their unspeakable suffering. Barker does it here for Briseis, for Hector’s wife Andromache, and for the other women who understand that the death of their men is tragedy, but what they then endure is worse. Think of it ancient literature having its own #MeToo moment. The NY Times’ Geraldine Brooks did not much like the novel. I did. Very much.

What I’m watching:

The BBC-HBO limited series Years and Years is breathtaking, scary, and absolutely familiar. It’s as if Black Mirrorand Children of Men had a baby and it precisely captures the zeitgeist, the current sense that the world is spinning out of control and things are coming at us too fast. It is a near future (Trump has been re-elected and Brexit has occurred finally)…not dystopia exactly, but damn close. The closing scene of last week’s first episode (there are 6 episodes and it’s on every Monday) shows nuclear war breaking out between China and the U.S. Yikes! The scope of this show is wide and there is a big, baggy feel to it – but I love the ambition even if I’m not looking forward to the nightmares.

May 19, 2019

What I’m listening to:

I usually go to music here, but I was really moved by this podcast of a Davis Brooks talk at the Commonwealth Club in Silicon Valley: https://www.commonwealthclub.org/events/archive/podcast/david-brooks-quest-moral-life. While I have long found myself distant from his political stance, he has come through a dark night of the soul and emerged with a wonderful clarity about calling, community, and not happiness (that most superficial of goals), but fulfillment and meaning, found in community and human kinship of many kinds. I immediately sent it to my kids.

What I’m reading:

Susan Orlean’s wonderful The Library Book, a love song to libraries told through the story of the LA Central Library. It brought back cherished memories of my many hours in beloved libraries — as a kid in the Waltham Public Library, a high schooler in the Farber Library at Brandeis (Lil Farber years later became a mentor of mine), and the cathedral-like Bapst Library at BC when I was a graduate student. Yes, I was a nerd. This is a love song to books certainly, but a reminder that libraries are so, so much more. It is a reminder that libraries are less about a place or being a repository of information and, like America at its best, an idea and ideal. By the way, oh to write like her.

What I’m watching:

What else? Game of Thrones, like any sensible human being. This last season is disappointing in many ways and the drop off in the writing post George R.R. Martin is as clear as was the drop off in the post-Sorkin West Wing. I would be willing to bet that if Martin has been writing the last season, Sansa and Tyrion would have committed suicide in the crypt. That said, we fans are deeply invested and even the flaws are giving us so much to discuss and debate. In that sense, the real gift of this last season is the enjoyment between episodes, like the old pre-streaming days when we all arrived at work after the latest episode of the Sopranos to discuss what we had all seen the night before. I will say this, the last two episodes — full of battle and gore – have been visually stunning. Whether the torches of the Dothraki being extinguished in the distance or Arya riding through rubble and flame on a white horse, rarely has the series ascended to such visual grandeur.

March 28, 2019

What I’m listening to:

There is a lovely piece played in a scene from A Place Called Home that I tracked down. It’s Erik Satie’s 3 Gymnopédies: Gymnopédie No. 1, played by the wonderful pianist Klára Körmendi. Satie composed this piece in 1888 and it was considered avant-garde and anti-Romantic. It’s minimalism and bit of dissonance sound fresh and contemporary to my ears and while not a huge Classical music fan, I’ve fallen in love with the Körmendi playlist on Spotify. When you need an alternative to hours of Cardi B.

What I’m reading:

Just finished Esi Edugyan’s 2018 novel Washington Black. Starting on a slave plantation in Barbados, it is a picaresque novel that has elements of Jules Verne, Moby Dick, Frankenstein, and Colson Whitehead’s Underground Railroad. Yes, it strains credulity and there are moments of “huh?”, but I loved it (disclosure: I was in the minority among my fellow book club members) and the first third is a searing depiction of slavery. It’s audacious, sprawling (from Barbados to the Arctic to London to Africa), and the writing, especially about nature, luminous.

What I’m watching:

A soap opera. Yes, I’d like to pretend it’s something else, but we are 31 episodes into the Australian drama A Place Called Home and we are so, so addicted. Like “It’s AM, but can’t we watch just one more episode?” addicted. Despite all the secrets, cliff hangers, intrigue, and “did that just happen?” moments, the core ingredients of any good soap opera, APCH has superb acting, real heft in terms of subject matter (including homophobia, anti-Semitism, sexual assault, and class), touches of our beloved Downton Abbey, and great cars. Beware. If you start, you won’t stop.

February 11, 2019

What I’m listening to:

Raphael Saadiq has been around for quite a while, as a musician, writer, and producer. He’s new to me and I love his old school R&B sound. Like Leon Bridges, he brings a contemporary freshness to the genre, sounding like a young Stevie Wonder (listen to “You’re The One That I Like”). Rock and Roll may be largely dead, but R&B persists – maybe because the former was derivative of the latter and never as good (and I say that as a Rock and Roll fan). I’m embarrassed to only have discovered Saadiq so late in his career, but it’s a delight to have done so.

What I’m reading:

Just finished Marilynne Robinson’s Home, part of her trilogy that includes the Pulitzer Prize winning first novel, Gilead, and the book after Home, Lila. Robinson is often described as a Christian writer, but not in a conventional sense. In this case, she gives us a modern version of the prodigal son and tells the story of what comes after he is welcomed back home. It’s not pretty. Robinson is a self-described Calvinist, thus character begets fate in Robinson’s world view and redemption is at best a question. There is something of Faulkner in her work (I am much taken with his famous “The past is never past” quote after a week in the deep South), her style is masterful, and like Faulkner, she builds with these three novels a whole universe in the small town of Gilead. Start with Gilead to better enjoy Home.

What I’m watching:

Sex Education was the most fun series we’ve seen in ages and we binged watched it on Netflix. A British homage to John Hughes films like The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and Pretty in Pink, it feels like a mash up of American and British high schools. Focusing on the relationship of Maeve, the smart bad girl, and Otis, the virginal and awkward son of a sex therapist (played with brilliance by Gillian Anderson), it is laugh aloud funny and also evolves into more substance and depth (the abortion episode is genius). The sex scenes are somehow raunchy and charming and inoffensive at the same time and while ostensibly about teenagers (it feels like it is explaining contemporary teens to adults in many ways), the adults are compelling in their good and bad ways. It has been renewed for a second season, which is a gift.

January 3, 2019

What I’m listening to:

My listening choices usually refer to music, but this time I’m going with Malcolm Gladwell’s Revisionist History podcast on genius and the song Hallelujah. It tells the story of Leonard Cohen’s much-covered song Hallelujah and uses it as a lens on kinds of genius and creativity. Along the way, he brings in Picasso and Cézanne, Elvis Costello, and more. Gladwell is a good storyteller and if you love pop music, as I do, and Hallelujah, as I do (and you should), you’ll enjoy this podcast. We tend to celebrate the genius who seems inspired in the moment, creating new work like lightning strikes, but this podcast has me appreciating incremental creativity in a new way. It’s compelling and fun at the same time.

What I’m reading:

Just read Clay Christensen’s new book, The Prosperity Paradox: How Innovation Can Lift Nations Out of Poverty. This was an advance copy, so soon available. Clay is an old friend and a huge influence on how we have grown SNHU and our approach to innovation. This book is so compelling, because we know attempts at development have so often been a failure and it is often puzzling to understand why some countries with desperate poverty and huge challenges somehow come to thrive (think S. Korea, Singapore, 19th C. America), while others languish. Clay offers a fresh way of thinking about development through the lens of his research on innovation and it is compelling. I bet this book gets a lot of attention, as most of his work does. I also suspect that many in the development community will hate it, as it calls into question the approach and enormous investments we have made in an attempt to lift countries out of poverty. A provocative read and, as always, Clay is a good storyteller.

What I’m watching:

Just watched Leave No Trace and should have guessed that it was directed by Debra Granik. She did Winter’s Bone, the extraordinary movie that launched Jennifer Lawrence’s career. Similarly, this movie features an amazing young actor, Thomasin McKenzie, and visits lives lived on the margins. In this case, a veteran suffering PTSD, and his 13-year-old daughter. The movie is patient, is visually lush, and justly earned 100% on Rotten Tomatoes (I have a rule to never watch anything under 82%). Everything in this film is under control and beautifully understated (aside from the visuals) – confident acting, confident directing, and so humane. I love the lack of flashbacks, the lack of sensationalism – the movie trusts the viewer, rare in this age of bombast. A lovely film.

December 4, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Spending a week in New Zealand, we had endless laughs listening to the Kiwi band, Flight of the Conchords. Lots of comedic bands are funny, but the music is only okay or worse. These guys are funny – hysterical really – and the music is great. They have an uncanny ability to parody almost any style. In both New Zealand and Australia, we found a wry sense of humor that was just delightful and no better captured than with this duo. You don’t have to be in New Zealand to enjoy them.

What I’m reading:

I don’t often reread. For two reasons: A) I have so many books on my “still to be read” pile that it seems daunting to also rereadbooks I loved before, and B) it’s because I loved them once that I’m a little afraid to read them again. That said, I was recently asked to list my favorite book of all time and I answered Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina. But I don’t really know if that’s still true (and it’s an impossible question anyway – favorite book? On what day? In what mood?), so I’m rereading it and it feels like being with an old friend. It has one of my very favorite scenes ever: the card game between Levin and Kitty that leads to the proposal and his joyous walking the streets all night.

What I’m watching:

Blindspotting is billed as a buddy-comedy. Wow does that undersell it and the drama is often gripping. I loved Daveed Diggs in Hamilton, didn’t like his character in Black-ish, and think he is transcendent in this film he co-wrote with Rafael Casal, his co-star. The film is a love song to Oakland in many ways, but also a gut-wrenching indictment of police brutality, systemic racism and bias, and gentrification. The film has the freshness and raw visceral impact of Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing. A great soundtrack, genre mixing, and energy make it one of my favorite movies of 2018.

October 15, 2018

What I’m listening to:

We had the opportunity to see our favorite band, The National, live in Dallas two weeks ago. Just after watching Mistaken for Strangers, the documentary sort of about the band. So we’ve spent a lot of time going back into their earlier work, listening to songs we don’t know well, and reaffirming that their musicality, smarts, and sound are both original and astoundingly good. They did not disappoint in concert and it is a good thing their tour ended, as we might just spend all of our time and money following them around. Matt Berninger is a genius and his lead vocals kill me (and because they are in my range, I can actually sing along!). Their arrangements are profoundly good and go right to whatever brain/heart wiring that pulls one in and doesn’t let them go.

What I’m reading:

Who is Richard Powers and why have I only discovered him now, with his 12th book? Overstory is profoundly good, a book that is essential and powerful and makes me look at my everyday world in new ways. In short, a dizzying example of how powerful can be narrative in the hands of a master storyteller. I hesitate to say it’s the best environmental novel I’ve ever read (it is), because that would put this book in a category. It is surely about the natural world, but it is as much about we humans. It’s monumental and elegiac and wondrous at all once. Cancel your day’s schedule and read it now. Then plant a tree. A lot of them.

What I’m watching:

Bo Burnham wrote and directed Eighth Grade and Elsie Fisher is nothing less than amazing as its star (what’s with these new child actors; see Florida Project). It’s funny and painful and touching. It’s also the single best film treatment that I have seen of what it means to grow up in a social media shaped world. It’s a reminder that growing up is hard. Maybe harder now in a world of relentless, layered digital pressure to curate perfect lives that are far removed from the natural messy worlds and selves we actually inhabit. It’s a well-deserved 98% on Rotten Tomatoes and I wonder who dinged it for the missing 2%.

September 7, 2018

What I’m listening to:

With a cover pointing back to the Beastie Boys’ 1986 Licensed to Ill, Eminem’s quietly released Kamikaze is not my usual taste, but I’ve always admired him for his “all out there” willingness to be personal, to call people out, and his sheer genius with language. I thought Daveed Diggs could rap fast, but Eminem is supersonic at moments, and still finds room for melody. Love that he includes Joyner Lucas, whose “I’m Not Racist” gets added to the growing list of simply amazing music videos commenting on race in America. There are endless reasons why I am the least likely Eminem fan, but when no one is around to make fun of me, I’ll put it on again.

What I’m reading:

Lesley Blume’s Everyone Behaves Badly, which is the story behind Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises and his time in 1920s Paris (oh, what a time – see Midnight in Paris if you haven’t already). Of course, Blume disabuses my romantic ideas of that time and place and everyone is sort of (or profoundly so) a jerk, especially…no spoiler here…Hemingway. That said, it is a compelling read and coming off the Henry James inspired prose of Mrs. Osmond, it made me appreciate more how groundbreaking was Hemingway’s modern prose style. Like his contemporary Picasso, he reinvented the art and it can be easy to forget, these decades later, how profound was the change and its impact. And it has bullfights.

What I’m watching:

Chloé Zhao’s The Rider is just exceptional. It’s filmed on the Pine Ridge Reservation, which provides a stunning landscape, and it feels like a classic western reinvented for our times. The main characters are played by the real-life people who inspired this narrative (but feels like a documentary) film. Brady Jandreau, playing himself really, owns the screen. It’s about manhood, honor codes, loss, and resilience – rendered in sensitive, nuanced, and heartfelt ways. It feels like it could be about large swaths of America today. Really powerful.

August 16, 2018

What I’m listening to:

In my Spotify Daily Mix was Percy Sledge’s When A Man Loves A Woman, one of the world’s greatest love songs. Go online and read the story of how the song was discovered and recorded. There are competing accounts, but Sledge said he improvised it after a bad breakup. It has that kind of aching spontaneity. It is another hit from Muscle Shoals, Alabama, one of the GREAT music hotbeds, along with Detroit, Nashville, and Memphis. Our February Board meeting is in Alabama and I may finally have to do the pilgrimage road trip to Muscle Shoals and then Memphis, dropping in for Sunday services at the church where Rev. Al Green still preaches and sings. If the music is all like this, I will be saved.

What I’m reading:

John Banville’s Mrs. Osmond, his homage to literary idol Henry James and an imagined sequel to James’ 1881 masterpiece Portrait of a Lady. Go online and read the first paragraph of Chapter 25. He is…profoundly good. Makes me want to never write again, since anything I attempt will feel like some other, lowly activity in comparison to his mastery of language, image, syntax. This is slow reading, every sentence to be savored.

What I’m watching:

I’ve always respected Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, but we just watched the documentary RGB. It is over-the-top great and she is now one of my heroes. A superwoman in many ways and the documentary is really well done. There are lots of scenes of her speaking to crowds and the way young women, especially law students, look at her is touching. And you can’t help but fall in love with her now late husband Marty. See this movie and be reminded of how important is the Law.

July 23, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Spotify’s Summer Acoustic playlist has been on repeat quite a lot. What a fun way to listen to artists new to me, including The Paper Kites, Hollow Coves, and Fleet Foxes, as well as old favorites like Leon Bridges and Jose Gonzalez. Pretty chill when dialing back to a summer pace, dining on the screen porch or reading a book.

What I’m reading:

Bryan Stevenson’s Just Mercy. Founder of the Equal Justice Initiative, Stevenson tells of the racial injustice (and the war on the poor our judicial system perpetuates as well) that he discovered as a young graduate from Harvard Law School and his fight to address it. It is in turn heartbreaking, enraging, and inspiring. It is also about mercy and empathy and justice that reads like a novel. Brilliant.

What I’m watching:

Fauda. We watched season one of this Israeli thriller. It was much discussed in Israel because while it focuses on an ex-special agent who comes out of retirement to track down a Palestinian terrorist, it was willing to reveal the complexity, richness, and emotions of Palestinian lives. And the occasional brutality of the Israelis. Pretty controversial stuff in Israel. Lior Raz plays Doron, the main character, and is compelling and tough and often hard to like. He’s a mess. As is the world in which he has to operate. We really liked it, and also felt guilty because while it may have been brave in its treatment of Palestinians within the Israeli context, it falls back into some tired tropes and ultimately falls short on this front.

June 11, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Like everyone else, I’m listening to Pusha T drop the mic on Drake. Okay, not really, but do I get some points for even knowing that? We all walk around with songs that immediately bring us back to a time or a place. Songs are time machines. We are coming up on Father’s Day. My own dad passed away on Father’s Day back in 1994 and I remembering dutifully getting through the wake and funeral and being strong throughout. Then, sitting alone in our kitchen, Don Henley’s The End of the Innocence came on and I lost it. When you lose a parent for the first time (most of us have two after all) we lose our innocence and in that passage, we suddenly feel adult in a new way (no matter how old we are), a longing for our own childhood, and a need to forgive and be forgiven. Listen to the lyrics and you’ll understand. As Wordsworth reminds us in In Memoriam, there are seasons to our grief and, all these years later, this song no longer hits me in the gut, but does transport me back with loving memories of my father. I’ll play it Father’s Day.

What I’m reading:

The Fifth Season, by N. K. Jemisin. I am not a reader of fantasy or sci-fi, though I understand they can be powerful vehicles for addressing the very real challenges of the world in which we actually live. I’m not sure I know of a more vivid and gripping illustration of that fact than N. K. Jemisin’s Hugo Award winning novel The Fifth Season, first in her Broken Earth trilogy. It is astounding. It is the fantasy parallel to The Underground Railroad, my favorite recent read, a depiction of subjugation, power, casual violence, and a broken world in which our hero(s) struggle, suffer mightily, and still, somehow, give us hope. It is a tour de force book. How can someone be this good a writer? The first 30 pages pained me (always with this genre, one must learn a new, constructed world, and all of its operating physics and systems of order), and then I could not put it down. I panicked as I neared the end, not wanting to finish the book, and quickly ordered the Obelisk Gate, the second novel in the trilogy, and I can tell you now that I’ll be spending some goodly portion of my weekend in Jemisin’s other world.

What I’m watching:

The NBA Finals and perhaps the best basketball player of this generation. I’ve come to deeply respect LeBron James as a person, a force for social good, and now as an extraordinary player at the peak of his powers. His superhuman play during the NBA playoffs now ranks with the all-time greats, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, MJ, Kobe, and the demi-god that was Bill Russell. That his Cavs lost in a 4-game sweep is no surprise. It was a mediocre team being carried on the wide shoulders of James (and matched against one of the greatest teams ever, the Warriors, and the Harry Potter of basketball, Steph Curry) and, in some strange way, his greatness is amplified by the contrast with the rest of his team. It was a great run.

May 24, 2018

What I’m listening to:

I’ve always liked Alicia Keys and admired her social activism, but I am hooked on her last album Here. This feels like an album finally commensurate with her anger, activism, hope, and grit. More R&B and Hip Hop than is typical for her, I think this album moves into an echelon inhabited by a Marvin Gaye’s What’s Going On or Beyonce’s Formation. Social activism and outrage rarely make great novels, but they often fuel great popular music. Here is a terrific example.

What I’m reading:

Colson Whitehead’s Underground Railroad may be close to a flawless novel. Winner of the 2017 Pulitzer, it chronicles the lives of two runaway slaves, Cora and Caeser, as they try to escape the hell of plantation life in Georgia. It is an often searing novel and Cora is one of the great heroes of American literature. I would make this mandatory reading in every high school in America, especially in light of the absurd revisionist narratives of “happy and well cared for” slaves. This is a genuinely great novel, one of the best I’ve read, the magical realism and conflating of time periods lifts it to another realm of social commentary, relevance, and a blazing indictment of America’s Original Sin, for which we remain unabsolved.

What I’m watching:

I thought I knew about The Pentagon Papers, but The Post, a real-life political thriller from Steven Spielberg taught me a lot, features some of our greatest actors, and is so timely given the assault on our democratic institutions and with a presidency out of control. It is a reminder that a free and fearless press is a powerful part of our democracy, always among the first targets of despots everywhere. The story revolves around the legendary Post owner and D.C. doyenne, Katharine Graham. I had the opportunity to see her son, Don Graham, right after he saw the film, and he raved about Meryl Streep’s portrayal of his mother. Liked it a lot more than I expected.

April 27, 2018

What I’m listening to:

I mentioned John Prine in a recent post and then on the heels of that mention, he has released a new album, The Tree of Forgiveness, his first new album in ten years. Prine is beloved by other singer songwriters and often praised by the inscrutable God that is Bob Dylan. Indeed, Prine was frequently said to be the “next Bob Dylan” in the early part of his career, though he instead carved out his own respectable career and voice, if never with the dizzying success of Dylan. The new album reflects a man in his 70s, a cancer survivor, who reflects on life and its end, but with the good humor and empathy that are hallmarks of Prine’s music. “When I Get To Heaven” is a rollicking, fun vision of what comes next and a pure delight. A charming, warm, and often terrific album.

What I’m reading:

I recently read Min Jin Lee’s Pachinko, on many people’s Top Ten lists for last year and for good reason. It is sprawling, multi-generational, and based in the world of Japanese occupied Korea and then in the Korean immigrant’s world of Oaska, so our key characters become “tweeners,” accepted in neither world. It’s often unspeakably sad, and yet there is resiliency and love. There is also intimacy, despite the time and geographic span of the novel. It’s breathtakingly good and like all good novels, transporting.

What I’m watching:

I adore Guillermo del Toro’s 2006 film, Pan’s Labyrinth, and while I’m not sure his Shape of Water is better, it is a worthy follow up to the earlier masterpiece (and more of a commercial success). Lots of critics dislike the film, but I’m okay with a simple retelling of a Beauty and the Beast love story, as predictable as it might be. The acting is terrific, it is visually stunning, and there are layers of pain as well as social and political commentary (the setting is the US during the Cold War) and, no real spoiler here, the real monsters are humans, the military officer who sees over the captured aquatic creature. It is hauntingly beautiful and its depiction of hatred to those who are different or “other” is painfully resonant with the time in which we live. Put this on your “must see” list.

March 18, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Sitting on a plane for hours (and many more to go; geez, Australia is far away) is a great opportunity to listen to new music and to revisit old favorites. This time, it is Lucy Dacus and her album Historians, the new sophomore release from a 22-year old indie artist that writes with relatable, real-life lyrics. Just on a second listen and while she insists this isn’t a break up record (as we know, 50% of all great songs are break up songs), it is full of loss and pain. Worth the listen so far. For the way back machine, it’s John Prine and In Spite of Ourselves (that title track is one of the great love songs of all time), a collection of duets with some of his “favorite girl singers” as he once described them. I have a crush on Iris Dement (for a really righteously angry song try her Wasteland of the Free), but there is also EmmyLou Harris, the incomparable Dolores Keane, and Lucinda Williams. Very different albums, both wonderful.

What I’m reading:

Jane Mayer’s New Yorker piece on Christopher Steele presents little that is new, but she pulls it together in a terrific and coherent whole that is illuminating and troubling at the same time. Not only for what is happening, but for the complicity of the far right in trying to discredit that which should be setting off alarm bells everywhere. Bob Mueller may be the most important defender of the democracy at this time. A must read.

What I’m watching:

Homeland is killing it this season and is prescient, hauntingly so. Russian election interference, a Bannon-style hate radio demagogue, alienated and gun toting militia types, and a president out of control. It’s fabulous, even if it feels awfully close to the evening news.

March 8, 2018

What I’m listening to:

We have a family challenge to compile our Top 100 songs. It is painful. Only 100? No more than three songs by one artist? Wait, why is M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” on my list? Should it just be The Clash from whom she samples? Can I admit to guilty pleasure songs? Hey, it’s my list and I can put anything I want on it. So I’m listening to the list while I work and the song playing right now is Tom Petty’s “The Wild One, Forever,” a B-side single that was never a hit and that remains my favorite Petty song. Also, “Evangeline” by Los Lobos. It evokes a night many years ago, with friends at Pearl Street in Northampton, MA, when everyone danced well past 1AM in a hot, sweaty, packed club and the band was a revelation. Maybe the best music night of our lives and a reminder that one’s 100 Favorite Songs list is as much about what you were doing and where you were in your life when those songs were playing as it is about the music. It’s not a list. It’s a soundtrack for this journey.

What I’m reading:

Patricia Lockwood’s Priestdaddy was in the NY Times top ten books of 2017 list and it is easy to see why. Lockwood brings remarkable and often surprising imagery, metaphor, and language to her prose memoir and it actually threw me off at first. It then all became clear when someone told me she is a poet. The book is laugh aloud funny, which masks (or makes safer anyway) some pretty dark territory. Anyone who grew up Catholic, whether lapsed or not, will resonate with her story. She can’t resist a bawdy anecdote and her family provides some of the most memorable characters possible, especially her father, her sister, and her mother, who I came to adore. Best thing I’ve read in ages.

What I’m watching:

The Florida Project, a profoundly good movie on so many levels. Start with the central character, six-year old (at the time of the filming) Brooklynn Prince, who owns – I mean really owns – the screen. This is pure acting genius and at that age? Astounding. Almost as astounding is Bria Vinaite, who plays her mother. She was discovered on Instagram and had never acted before this role, which she did with just three weeks of acting lessons. She is utterly convincing and the tension between the child’s absolute wonder and joy in the world with her mother’s struggle to provide, to be a mother, is heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once. Willem Dafoe rightly received an Oscar nomination for his supporting role. This is a terrific movie.

February 12, 2018

What I’m listening to:

So, I have a lot of friends of age (I know you’re thinking 40s, but I just turned 60) who are frozen in whatever era of music they enjoyed in college or maybe even in their thirties. There are lots of times when I reach back into the catalog, since music is one of those really powerful and transporting senses that can take you through time (smell is the other one, though often underappreciated for that power). Hell, I just bought a turntable and now spending time in vintage vinyl shops. But I’m trying to take a lesson from Pat, who revels in new music and can as easily talk about North African rap music and the latest National album as Meet the Beatles, her first ever album. So, I’ve been listening to Kendrick Lamar’s Grammy winning Damn. While it may not be the first thing I’ll reach for on a winter night in Maine, by the fire, I was taken with it. It’s layered, political, and weirdly sensitive and misogynist at the same time, and it feels fresh and authentic and smart at the same time, with music that often pulled me from what I was doing. In short, everything music should do. I’m not a bit cooler for listening to Damn, but when I followed it with Steely Dan, I felt like I was listening to Lawrence Welk. A good sign, I think.

What I’m reading:

I am reading Walter Isaacson’s new biography of Leonardo da Vinci. I’m not usually a reader of biographies, but I’ve always been taken with Leonardo. Isaacson does not disappoint (does he ever?), and his subject is at once more human and accessible and more awe-inspiring in Isaacson’s capable hands. Gay, left-handed, vegetarian, incapable of finishing things, a wonderful conversationalist, kind, and perhaps the most relentlessly curious human being who has ever lived. Like his biographies of Steve Jobs and Albert Einstein, Isaacson’s project here is to show that genius lives at the intersection of science and art, of rationality and creativity. Highly recommend it.

What I’m watching:

We watched the This Is Us post-Super Bowl episode, the one where Jack finally buys the farm. I really want to hate this show. It is melodramatic and manipulative, with characters that mostly never change or grow, and it hooks me every damn time we watch it. The episode last Sunday was a tear jerker, a double whammy intended to render into a blubbering, tissue-crumbling pathetic mess anyone who has lost a parent or who is a parent. Sterling K. Brown, Ron Cephas Jones, the surprising Mandy Moore, and Milo Ventimiglia are hard not to love and last season’s episode that had only Brown and Cephas going to Memphis was the show at its best (they are by far the two best actors). Last week was the show at its best worst. In other words, I want to hate it, but I love it. If you haven’t seen it, don’t binge watch it. You’ll need therapy and insulin.

January 15, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Drive-By Truckers. Chris Stapleton has me on an unusual (for me) country theme and I discovered these guys to my great delight. They’ve been around, with some 11 albums, but the newest one is fascinating. It’s a deep dive into Southern alienation and the white working-class world often associated with our current president. I admire the willingness to lay bare, in kick ass rock songs, the complexities and pain at work among people we too quickly place into overly simple categories. These guys are brave, bold, and thoughtful as hell, while producing songs I didn’t expect to like, but that I keep playing. And they are coming to NH.

What I’m reading:

A textual analog to Drive-By Truckers by Chris Stapleton in many ways is Tony Horowitz’s 1998 Pulitzer Prize winning Confederates in the Attic. Ostensibly about the Civil War and the South’s ongoing attachment to it, it is prescient and speaks eloquently to the times in which we live (where every southern state but Virginia voted for President Trump). Often hilarious, it too surfaces complexities and nuance that escape a more recent, and widely acclaimed, book like Hillbilly Elegy. As a Civil War fan, it was also astonishing in many instances, especially when it blows apart long-held “truths” about the war, such as the degree to which Sherman burned down the south (he did not). Like D-B Truckers, Horowitz loves the South and the people he encounters, even as he grapples with its myths of victimhood and exceptionalism (and racism, which may be no more than the racism in the north, but of a different kind). Everyone should read this book and I’m embarrassed I’m so late to it.

What I’m watching:

David Letterman has a new Netflix show called “My Next Guest Needs No Introduction” and we watched the first episode, in which Letterman interviewed Barack Obama. It was extraordinary (if you don’t have Netflix, get it just to watch this show); not only because we were reminded of Obama’s smarts, grace, and humanity (and humor), but because we saw a side of Letterman we didn’t know existed. His personal reflections on Selma were raw and powerful, almost painful. He will do five more episodes with “extraordinary individuals” and if they are anything like the first, this might be the very best work of his career and one of the best things on television.

December 22, 2017

What I’m reading:

Just finished Sunjeev Sahota’s Year of the Runaways, a painful inside look at the plight of illegal Indian immigrant workers in Britain. It was shortlisted for 2015 Man Booker Prize and its transporting, often to a dark and painful universe, and it is impossible not to think about the American version of this story and the terrible way we treat the undocumented in our own country, especially now.

What I’m watching:

Season II of The Crown is even better than Season I. Elizabeth’s character is becoming more three-dimensional, the modern world is catching up with tradition-bound Britain, and Cold War politics offer more context and tension than we saw in Season I. Claire Foy, in her last season, is just terrific – one arched eye brow can send a message.

What I’m listening to:

A lot of Christmas music, but needing a break from the schmaltz, I’ve discovered Over the Rhine and their Christmas album, Snow Angels. God, these guys are good.

November 14, 2017

What I’m watching:

Guiltily, I watch the Patriots play every weekend, often building my schedule and plans around seeing the game. Why the guilt? I don’t know how morally defensible is football anymore, as we now know the severe damage it does to the players. We can’t pretend it’s all okay anymore. Is this our version of late decadent Rome, watching mostly young Black men take a terrible toll on each other for our mere entertainment?

What I’m reading:

Recently finished J.G. Ballard’s 2000 novel Super-Cannes, a powerful depiction of a corporate-tech ex-pat community taken over by a kind of psychopathology, in which all social norms and responsibilities are surrendered to residents of the new world community. Kept thinking about Silicon Valley when reading it. Pretty dark, dystopian view of the modern world and centered around a mass killing, troublingly prescient.

What I’m listening to:

Was never really a Lorde fan, only knowing her catchy (and smarter than you might first guess) pop hit “Royals” from her debut album. But her new album, Melodrama, is terrific and it doesn’t feel quite right to call this “pop.” There is something way more substantial going on with Lorde and I can see why many critics put this album at the top of their Best in 2017 list. Count me in as a huge fan.

November 3, 2017

What I’m reading: Just finished Celeste Ng’s Little Fires Everywhere, her breathtakingly good second novel. How is someone so young so wise? Her writing is near perfection and I read the book in two days, setting my alarm for 4:30AM so I could finish it before work.

What I’m watching: We just binge watched season two of Stranger Things and it was worth it just to watch Millie Bobbie Brown, the transcendent young actor who plays Eleven. The series is a delightful mash up of every great eighties horror genre you can imagine and while pretty dark, an absolute joy to watch.

What I’m listening to: I’m not a lover of country music (to say the least), but I love Chris Stapleton. His “The Last Thing I Needed, First Thing This Morning” is heartbreakingly good and reminds me of the old school country that played in my house as a kid. He has a new album and I can’t wait, but his From A Room: Volume 1 is on repeat for now.

September 26, 2017

What I’m reading:

Just finished George Saunder’s Lincoln in the Bardo. It took me a while to accept its cadence and sheer weirdness, but loved it in the end. A painful meditation on loss and grief, and a genuinely beautiful exploration of the intersection of life and death, the difficulty of letting go of what was, good and bad, and what never came to be.

What I’m watching:

HBO’s The Deuce. Times Square and the beginning of the porn industry in the 1970s, the setting made me wonder if this was really something I’d want to see. But David Simon is the writer and I’d read a menu if he wrote it. It does not disappoint so far and there is nothing prurient about it.

What I’m listening to:

The National’s new album Sleep Well Beast. I love this band. The opening piano notes of the first song, “Nobody Else Will Be There,” seize me & I’m reminded that no one else in music today matches their arrangement & musicianship. I’m adding “Born to Beg,” “Slow Show,” “I Need My Girl,” and “Runaway” to my list of favorite love songs.

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