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#Did they give up on that after the first season or something???
bountydroid · 2 days
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Darlin' pt 5
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pt 1 / pt 2 / pt 3 / pt 4 / pt6
Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x f!reader (Slowburn romance)
Description: Cooper starts to soften up.
Notes: This one is a bit longer! I might be a little slower between parts from now on as it is finals season and I'll be graduating with my bachelor's degree (yay!) plus I work full time. As always, any critiques are welcome!
The air between us after the hug attempt was thick with tension. We walked in silence as we made our way into the wasteland, clear tracks in the sand making the target easy to follow. I was sure that the look on my face was pathetic, like a kicked puppy. I tried to hide my hurt at first, but it didn't seem like he cared much since he had hardly even glanced at me since we left Ma June's shop anyway. At least I had Whilzig's dog. I knew he was just there to help us track his master, but his presence felt comforting. Without him, I think the tension between Cooper and I would be too much to handle. 
I glanced over at the ghoul every so often. I was hoping I would catch him glancing back, a sign that he did in fact, give a damn about me. I felt deflated. Any hope I had about his feelings for me had vanished. 
I let a quiet sigh escape my lips as I looked down at my feet. 
This seemed to get his attention as he stopped in his tracks and whipped around to face me. "Stop it." He said sternly, a look of annoyance on his face.
I was sure that my face did little to hide the horror I felt at his reaction. "I am just tired." I tried to lie.
"Sure." He said back, crossing his arms. He clearly knew I was lying.
I felt anger prickle up inside me. "Why are you looking at me like I did something wrong? I didn't." I exclaimed. "I hugged my friend. At least I thought I did."
He didn't respond to this, instead opting to look out into the never-ending sand.
"Let's just keep going," I mumbled as I stomped past him.
Growing up I loved the sun. I loved to feel its warm rays on my skin as it shined through the window. Now? Now I hated it. We had barely been in the Wasteland that long, and I already felt like the heat was suffocating me. It didn't seem to bother Cooper though. He showed no sign of tiring or discomfort. "One of the perks of being a ghoul I guess." I thought to myself bitterly.
After what felt like ages, our furry companion barked and started running towards a large piece of metal. Cooper and I exchanged looks before picking up our pace to catch up to him. 
"What the hell?" I mumbled as I pinched my nose and looked away from the headless body.
Cooper crouched down next to Whilzig, a look of mild confusion on his face before looking out into the wasteland. One of his coughing fits started as he took his pack off of his shoulder and put it on the ground, rummaging through it. He found what he was looking for quickly, a metal tin with a couple of vials of Radaway inside. Despite being angry with him, I looked down at him, concern evident on my face. Almost like he could sense it, he looked up at me as he put the vial into his inhaler. His eyes closed and a look of relief washed over his face as he breathed it in. He let out one more soft wheeze as he collected himself. 
"Cooper?" I asked softly. 
"Yeah, Darlin'?" He replied while getting up from the ground.
"I'm sorry." I started. "I am sorry for huggin' you. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
His eyes bore into me while he contemplated his response. "You're okay Darlin'." He said quietly. "I am just an ill-tempered old man."
I let out a small giggle. "I would've said cranky, but ill-tempered is a nicer way to put it."
He let out a loud bark of a laugh in response. "Come on let's go find the rest of im'." He said as he patted my shoulder.
As we started to walk away from the body, Cooper let out a clicking noise, getting the dog's attention. The dog barked in response as he chased after us.
"How old are you anyway?" I ask curiously.
He hummed in response, "Old."
I decided not to press it further, his short response suggesting it wasn't something he wanted to discuss. This time, our silent march was much more pleasant. The tension from earlier was gone. I was exceeding grateful for this change. As the sun started to set, I felt relieved. The heat didn't feel quite as terrible as the sun started to fade behind the horizon.
"Good a spot as any," Cooper said as he peaked inside a half-crumbled building. 
I sighed in relief. "God my feet are killing me. I think I've done more walkin' with you than I have in my entire life."
He let out a breathy laugh, "And you are gonna do a lot more, sugar."
It didn't take long for me to fall asleep in the sand curled up next to Whilzig's dog.
-
I slowly peeled my eyes open as I felt someone gently shaking me. My bleary eyes peered up to see the face of my traveling companion.
"Mornin' Darlin'." He smirked at my dazed and exhausted face. "Sleep well?"
I just grumbled in response. I slowly raised to my feet, wincing as the pressure on them began to build. I felt his eyes on me as he raised his bag to his shoulder. I sighed as I reached down to pick up my bag as well. 
"When we get this bounty, I am gonna sleep for a week." I say with a soft groan.
"Gimme that." He said as he ripped my bag from my hands and threw it over his empty shoulder. He chuckled at the surprised look on my face. "Can't have your pretty ass slowin' me down."
I stood there for a moment and replayed our exchange in my head before finally running after him. "He keeps calling me pretty." I think to myself while a blush creeps over my cheeks.
"You know," I started, feeling bold. "I think we are a great team."
He glanced over at me, an amused look on his face. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." I hummed happily. "I am really glad I met you." 
An unrecognizable look washed over his face. Hesitation? Confusion? Fear? It looked like all of those emotions, all at once.
I gave him a weary smile, "Even if you won't let me hug you." I admit.
He hesitated, almost looking like he was going to say something before he stopped himself. 
"Hey, Dog Meat!" He yelled up at the dog, "Don't go far."
"Dog Meat?" I mused, "Really?"
"That's what he is, ain't he?" he replied, smirking.
I knew he was trying to change the subject. He was uncomfortable again. So, I decided to let him as I let out a small giggle. "Sure, Cooper."
We continued along, getting closer and closer to the derelict city. The silence was only interrupted by the occasional bark from Dog Meat. We happened upon an oasis, the water inviting, almost trying to trick me into taking a dip. I knew better than that. We could hear a commotion in front of us as we started to slow down, quieting our footsteps. Cooper turned to me and put a finger to his lips, silently shushing me. Someone else was there. The bounty?
 No, it was the vaultie. I stayed behind as Cooper snuck up behind her. She only noticed his presence once she heard the cock of his gun.
"Hello again." She said, her eyes filled with fear.
He greeted her by hitting her over the head with the butt of his gun. I grimaced as she fell to the ground. 
"Where is it?" He snarled. "The head."
She whimpered on the ground quietly while Cooper picked up her bag and emptied the contents into the dirt.
Cooper got angry as he realized the head wasn't there. He cocked his gun again, ready to shoot her. 
"Okay, okay, I don't know where it is. Okay? I lost it." The vaultie begged. "I lost it."
Cooper let out a soft hum as he looked around, it seemed like he already knew what he was looking for when he put his boot in a pile of dung. I made a disgusted face.
"Did you seriously have to do that?" I mumbled. This brought the vaultie's attention to me. She was so caught up in her fear of Cooper she didn't even realize I was there.
"A gulper got it, huh?" He said as he turned back to the vaultie before grabbing her by the hair. 
She cried as she begged for mercy as he dragged her to the dock. Once there, he tied a rope with an anchor on the end around her body as well as bound her feet. I just watched from afar, feeling slightly bad for the girl. Dog Meat was barking so loudly I could hardly hear them.
"Stop! Please!" She begged as she wiggled, trying to break free. "My dad, he's an overseer. He got taken by Raiders and I need that head to get him back. If you help me find him, he'll do whatever you want!"
Instead of responding, Cooper just pushed her into the water. The rope she was bound with was connected to a piece of metal I did not recognize, but it kept her from sinking to the bottom. She splashed around as she panicked. 
"Stop! Stop! Torture is wrong!" She cried out when he brought her back up out of the water.
Cooper let out a scoff. "You know, they used to do these things called studies. Why, you couldn't open a newspaper without reading about one study or another. Anyways, one particular study came out and it said torturing a person, don't do shit." He replied as he dropped her back into the water briefly before bringing her up again. "It made sense. I mean a man hurts me? I wouldn't want to do him any favors. And yet the practice of torture failed to vanish from this earth. In fact, as time marches on, I've personally noticed a decided uptick in the amount of torture being doled out across the board." He continued as he picked off a small creature from her back and fed it to Dog Meat.
"Sir, please. I need the head. It's the only way I can get my father back." The vaultie begged again. I admired her spirit. I debated asking Cooper to stop, but I bit my tongue instead.
"My point is," Cooper replied, ignoring her pleas. "If you ask me, them studies, they were right. Torturing a person don't do shit."
"Then why are you doing this?" She asked, exasperated. 
"Well, I ain't torturing you, sweetheart. I'm using you as bait." He explained before dunking her in the water again. I hated to admit it, but I felt a tiny bit of jealousy in my chest at the nickname. I knew I shouldn't be jealous, he obviously held little love for her.
Cooper started to whistle as he got closer to the edge of the dock like he was beckoning something near. It was at this point that I realized I had been slowly inching closer to them this whole time as my feet finally met the dock.
"What is a gulper?" I asked Cooper curiously.
"A monster, darlin'. Careful." He said, realizing how close I was getting to the water. He grabbed his knife off the wooden box he put it on earlier and tied a rope around it. He clearly had a plan.
The vaultie started crying out in the water and flailing around even more than usual. This caused Cooper to try and lift her out of the water again, but the machine he was using was stuck. 
"Cooper!" I cried out, realizing she was going to drown.
He sprang into action as he grabbed a hook, moving the entire machine to pull her out. As she was pulled onto the dock, a giant pink creature followed her. He was right. That was a monster. I ran up to the vaultie and grabbed her shoulders as I tried to pull her away, but the anchor tied around her was stuck in the gulper's mouth. She kicked at the creature violently as Cooper stuck it with his knife. The gulper got ahold of her leg and swung her around, pushing me into the water. I thrashed around as I tried to find something to hold onto. 
"Cooper!" I yelled before I finally was able to grasp ahold of the dock. I could hear the tussle above me and the gulper finally cry out and fall back into the water. 
I could hear Cooper gasping for air as he crawled over to me. "Give me your hand, sugar."
I quickly did as I was told. He pulled me out of the water and onto the dock with ease. He got up and looked out into the water, wincing as he realized the head was gone once again.
"Cooper," I said softly. "Your bag."
He moved swiftly, going straight for his tin of Radaway. At the realization that it was completely crushed he pointed his gun back at the vaultie.
"Motherfucker!" He shouted angrily.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I should've just let you use me as bait in a poison river!" The vaultie yelled back.
Cooper lowered his gun before turning back around to the water. "Fuck!" He screamed.
I finally stood up and waddled my way over to him. My clothes were soaked, uncomfortably sticking to my skin. This caught his attention, he put his hand on my cheek as he briefly scanned my body, looking for injuries. "I am fine." I hummed, my heart squeezing in my chest at his show of affection. It wasn't much, but it showed how much he cared.
"You can't treat people like this!" The vaultie interrupted.
"Yeah, why's that?" Cooper asked, his mind obviously elsewhere. 
"Because of the golden rule." She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Do unto others as you would have done unto you."
I gave her an amused look as I let out a small laugh. "The golden rule, huh? I don't think he follows that."
"Those gulpers digest real slow. You got time." Cooper said to himself.
I put the hand on his shoulder reassuringly, pulling him from his thoughts. He looked at me for a second before hurrying over to pick up our bags. "We gotta go." He pulled out his lasso and made his way to the vaultie.
"No. no, no, no, no." She begged as he put it around her neck. "Where are we going? What about the head? I need the head to get my dad back."
"Yeah, well, the wasteland's got its own golden rule," Cooper replied, dragging her along.
"Yeah, what's that?" She asked.
"Thou shalt get sidetracked by bullshit every goddamn time." Cooper sighed.
"What about the dog?" I asked, scurrying after him.
"He ain't ours." He responded curtly.
I frowned at him. I had gotten attached to Dog Meat, but the determined expression on Cooper's face kept me quiet. Wherever we were going, it was important.
Tag list: @msrawog @valdemarismynonbinarylove @topiramateagreeable @whizbang-cap @sitkafay @lightan117 @eykismyfav @ajeff855 @madelinealexandra @justme12200 @sihlaryn @raviolisenpai @ellabellabunny123 @impossessedbyjeongyeon @leviathanleva @v3lv3tf0x @judgementdays-girl
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punkshort · 12 hours
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What did a day in the life look like for Joel & reader, during the peak of their relationship, before her accident?❤️‍🩹💘
Never Enough
An I Know Who You Are drabble
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
Warnings: smut (18+ MDNI), fluff
WC: ~800
A/N: At the peak of their relationship, they were very soft for one another. It took a while for them both to get there, each of them pretty hardened by their own traumas. So when reader lost her memory and Joel had to start over with her, he took it really hard but tried to hide it as best he could. Obviously, suppressing his feelings didn't work out too well but let's take a look back at a simpler time.
Joel usually woke up before you, his internal clock way too finely tuned to allow himself to sleep in. You normally didn't like to sleep touching him because he ran hot as it was, but if it was winter and you were cold you always found your way into his nook.
Coffee was a must for both of you in the mornings. Most of the time you barely spoke on the days you had patrol until you had at least half a cup of coffee in your systems. You didn't like heavy breakfasts but you needed something or else you got too lightheaded, so you kept it simple. Maybe some fruit or a piece of toast. And if you were making yourself something, you always made sure to make some for Joel, too, because he was terrible at taking care of himself.
You didn't mind. You actually liked taking care of him.
On the way to the barn you would talk about which routes you were assigned that day, or you would ask how his back was feeling, or he would ask how you slept the night before.
Always before parting ways, you would make sure to kiss him. You never rushed that part because you never took a single day for granted.
It was rare you got paired up for patrol together. Both of you were seasoned and your roles were to mentor the younger groups, so typically you were paired with someone greener.
Whoever got back first always waited for the other to return, then you would walk back home together. Usually it was in the afternoon so sometimes you cleaned up around the house while Joel restocked the fireplace with wood. Sometimes you would go to the warehouse and restock your pantry, other times you would help Maria watch Violet.
Depending on the day, you might go to the dining hall with Ellie, but if you were particularly tired or if Joel didn't feel like being around people (which was often), you would stay home and cook something together.
Usually both of you ached after a few days of patrol in a row, so sometimes you took a bath together. He would sit between your legs and rest his back against your chest while you washed his hair. His eyes would close as he got lost in the feeling of your nails gently massaging his scalp, all the stress and tension melting away under your touch. He would skirt his fingers lazily over your soft curves under the water, making you shudder. He adored being the one to get those reactions from you.
Admittedly, your sex life wasn't as wild as when you first met. Over the years it became more intense and loving rather than frantic and needy. He made sure you felt every inch of him while he dragged in and out of you, slow and deep, pulling the sweetest sounds from your throat. Little whispers of his name in his ear, murmurs of I love you against his throat, whines warning him you were close and don't stop and you feel so good.
No matter how many times he fucked you, it was never enough. Each time set his heart on fire. The feel of your soft skin under his rough hands, the taste of your wet heat all over his mouth and beard, the feel of your hips grinding against his while you bounced on his cock. He never felt more close to you than in those moments where he was buried deep inside you, doing everything in his power to make you feel good and give you everything you needed. He loved watching you fall apart, your perfect face contorting in pleasure before you stilled and your eyebrows relaxed with a sigh. He loved the feel of your cunt squeezing him when you came, fluttering and pulsing around him. It always brought his own orgasm to the surface within seconds, pulling out of you feverishly, usually without a moment to spare, and spilling his release all over your thighs or ass or stomach or breasts.
Afterwards, he would clean you up, but he would be lying if he said he didn't take a moment first to admire the way you looked: all satiated and relaxed and covered with his spend.
You curled up against him and wrapped your arm around his stomach while his hands wandered over your shoulders and back, soothing you to sleep with kisses pressed into your hair.
You brought out a softnes in him. No one else got to see that side of him. He reserved that just for you.
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bloatedandalone04 · 3 days
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The Lucky Ones - Part 2
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➪the one where you and rick reunite after the events at the prison.
Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of blood, swearing, mentions of digging around in the undead, guns, takes place in season 5
Word Count: 3k | Part 1
Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡
Judith was crying again, and no matter what Tyreese did, she didn’t seem to want to stop. “C’mon, baby girl,” he huffed, bouncing her in his arms. 
You look over from your spot on a fallen tree, your fingers tangled in Lizzie’s messy hair. It was clear that Tyreese was having a hard time calming the baby down, and while it was a bit amusing, being quiet right now was a priority. “Hey,” you call out to him. “Want me to take her?” 
“Please,”
You laugh quietly and get up, squeezing Lizzie’s shoulder before making your way over to Tyreese. “Come here, sweet girl,” you coo when you take Judith from him. “Shh, you’re okay. You’re alright.”
Tyreese huffed again as he moved to sit next to the small fire you had started, confused at how you managed to get Judith to stop crying within just a few seconds. “I don’t know how you do it,” he muttered, poking the fire with a stick. “You had kids before all this?” 
“No,” you answer, brushing Judith’s hair away from her forehead before taking the bottle from Mika. “I was a nurse. Spent a year looking after my mom before everything went to hell. She was like a kid in a way. I used to rely on her, then suddenly she relied on me. I had to feed her, bathe her, and dress her. Never thought that would’ve prepared me for something like this.”
Tyreese grunted, setting the stick aside and looking over at you. “You’re a natural,”
You smile at that, though it didn’t quite reach your eyes. You’d been one of the many people that have been taking care of Judith since she was born, but being one of the three to do it now was something else entirely. 
When the Governor tried taking control of the prison and caused what could only be described as a riot, you were left behind with Tyreese, Mika and Lizzie. The older sister actually ended up saving both you and Tyreese when you were backed into a corner, and when you tried to convince them to go find Rick, you were outvoted. You were outvoted by a couple of fucking kids. 
So you fled with them into the trees and had been walking through the forests ever since. You would give anything to be able to be with him right now, but instead you were left looking after his kid. You didn’t mind, but you just wished you knew whether he was okay and alive or not. 
Carol took your spot on the tree and began braiding Lizzie’s hair as you hummed softly to Judith. She was beginning to fall asleep in your arms, and soon enough, Carol, Lizzie and Mika were all sleeping while Tyreese took the first watch. “You want me to take her? So you can get some sleep?” 
“No, I got her,” you mumble and move to sit next to him. 
You sit in silence for a while, with Tyreese adding sticks to the fire every so often and you gently rocking Judith. Your mind drifted back to Rick and Carl and Maggie and Glenn. Were they okay? Were they alive?
The last thing you saw was Rick getting shot in the leg then everything went to shit. Guns went off and fires were started, and you lost sight of pretty much everyone besides Tyreese. You wanted to run out to Rick, to help him, but there were just too many people and too many walkers. You didn’t stand a chance. With everything in you, you were praying to anyone who might be listening that he is still alive, and that he’s looking for you.
Like how you’re looking for him. 
You stare at the fire as you trace random shapes onto Judith’s arm with your thumb, lost in your own head. “Everything happened so fast,” you murmur, catching Tyreese’s attention. “Just a few days ago we were all safe and together. Now we don’t even know if everyone’s still alive.”
“We just have to keep looking,” he said, and you knew he was trying to comfort you, but you felt hopeless right now. 
“I wanted to go back for him,” you confess. “When we were leaving. I was going to go back, but I couldn’t get to him. I couldn’t find him.”
Tyreese looked over at you in surprise. “None of us could get to him,” he assured you. “Rick is strong. He’s stronger than any of us. I know he made it out, him and Carl both.”
There was no way to be sure of that, but you appreciated his words nonetheless. “I remember when I first saw him at that store back in Atlanta. Glenn can tell you that I was in love with him the second I laid eyes on him. It felt like nothing else mattered, then he found his wife and son and I was sure nothing would happen between us.”
Tyreese let out a quiet laugh, leaning back on the log and taking off his hat. “Look at you now,” he teased. “That man is head over heels for you.”
That was true. 
Not long after you broke things off with Shane, Rick and Lori began having some issues. They split up long before she found out she was pregnant with Judith, and around her three month mark was when Rick finally allowed himself to begin something with you.
That something turned into an official relationship, and you’d been almost inseparable ever since. 
He told you to stay with Daryl and Carl when the Governor and his posse showed up, but then you got separated from both of them and wound up defending Tyreese in a different part of the prison yard. 
You smile at the memory of the first kiss you shared with Rick. Then your heart twisted a bit. You missed him so much. You missed everyone. 
“Feels like forever ago,” you whisper. “I hope they’re okay. I hope he’s okay.”
Tyreese gave your shoulder a comforting squeeze. “You’ll find each other. Right now you just need to focus on looking after his little girl and worry about the rest later,”
You knew he was right, so you gave him a tight smile and nod. 
-
“What do you think Y/n is doing right now?” Carl asked as he sat on the couch next to Rick. He dug through the stale cereal bag and gathered some in his palm, tossing them into his mouth afterwards. 
“I don’t know,” Rick answered, leaning forward on his knees as he tried to think of where to go from here. The couch was pressed against the door, a safety measure he deemed necessary since the lock had been broken off it. 
His face was sore and still a bit bruised, and the days he’s spent on this couch felt like a bit of a waste when he could be out there looking for his group. Looking for you. 
“Do you think she’s by herself?” Carl continued to ask him questions about you that Rick had no idea the answers to. He was losing hope as the days went on, though a very small part of him believed that you were out there somewhere, and that maybe you or someone else had managed to grab Judith on the way out of the prison yard. 
“I don’t know,” he answered his son’s question with a stern voice, trying to tell him to be quiet without actually saying the words. 
“Do you think she made it out?”
“I don’t know, Carl,” Rick nearly yelled, causing Carl to jump slightly. Rick lowered his voice and looked back at the floor once he saw the way Carl reacted to his outburst. “I don’t know what she’s doing, I don’t know who she’s with and I don’t know if she made it out. Just stop asking me questions that I don’t know the answers to, please.” 
Honestly, Rick couldn’t stand the thought of you not having made it out of the prison. He left you with Daryl and Carl, and now he was with Carl with no sign of you or Daryl, and he felt lost. 
Carl had told him that he and Daryl got separated, and how he saw you with Tyreese last, but that was all the information he had. He didn’t know where you went after that, and he didn’t know if you had managed to get out of the area you had been backed into. 
“I’m sure she’s fine,” Carl mumbled, setting the bag aside and leaning back against the couch. “I’m sure we’ll see her again, we just need to start looking.” 
“Yeah,” Rick agreed, spinning his wedding band around on his finger. He had no idea why he is still wearing it, him and Lori are very much done and over with and had been for a long time now, so why was he still wearing his ring? 
He looked down at the gold band, then without a second thought, he slid it off his finger and put it in his pocket, and thankfully Carl didn’t notice him doing that. He was still mourning his mom, and still getting used to you and Rick, the last thing needed was to see his dad move on completely from her. 
“Yeah,” Rick said again. “We’ll start looking for her. We’ll start looking for all of them.” 
He couldn’t lose you. He already lost so many people, and he was still recovering from watching the nicest man he had ever met get almost decapitated. He couldn’t lose you too. 
-
When Carol gestured for you to dig around inside the walker she just put down, you didn’t hesitate like you normally would. You didn’t get grossed out or feel nauseous. How could you?
Rick might be alive. 
Michonne and Carl were definitely alive, since you heard the piece of shit Terminus guy say he was going to kill them.
They’re alive. 
You blended right in, and when Carol blew up one of the tanks littered around Terminus, you and her were able to slip in amongst the walkers. Gunfire was heard all around as the large number of walkers made their way through the poorly protected walls of Terminus, and when you found yourself in a storage room, a feeling of rage took over you. 
There were countless things in there; teddy bears, weapons, jewelry, clothes, blankets, and anything else you could imagine a defenseless person would have. Carol found Daryl’s crossbow among the weapons, and you found Rick’s watch among the jewelry. These people were sick, taking things from people who were just trying to survive with what they have. 
You were livid as you and Carol slashed and shot your way through the crowds of walkers and Terminus people, and before long you were granted the one thing you’d be wishing for ever since you and Tyreese made it out of the prison. 
Rick, Daryl, Bob and Glenn let Maggie, Michonne, Carl, Sasha and three other people you had never seen before out of a train cart, then they were fleeing to the forest. 
You were frozen in shock, tears gathered along your water lines before Carol was pulling you with her as she took off after them. You were so relieved to see that mostly everyone had made it out, and that Rick, though he was a bit bloody, is okay. 
You stumbled alongside Carol as she followed the group, and when they stopped a good distance away, you could hear Rick’s deep voice as he declared that they were going back to finish the job. 
Stopping behind some bushes, you watched the group argue for a bit before Carol stepped away from the greenery and revealed herself. Almost instantly she was wrapped up in Daryl’s arms, and you watched the reunion with burning eyes as you revealed yourself as well.
Rick opened his mouth to say something to Carol, then his gaze flickered over to you and any words he was going to say died on his tongue. Your eyes glazed over again and you froze in your spot, and the last thing you heard was the relieved sigh Daryl let out as he took both you and Carol in, then you were wrapped up in Rick’s arms. 
His grip on you was the tightest it’s ever been, and you couldn’t breathe in the best way. You squeeze your eyes shut as you cling onto any part of him you can, and you couldn’t bring yourself to care that the group, as well as the three new people, were witnessing you sobbing against Rick’s chest. 
You spent days with Tyreese, Carol and the girls, and after what happened with Lizzie and Mika, you were beginning to lose the little amount of hope you had left. You were terrified that the people you called your family were dead or lost somewhere. 
But here they are. Beth was missing, and though you were scared to know what happened to her, you couldn’t deny just how happy and grateful you are that you were reunited with most of them. 
“Y/n,” Rick mumbled and you held onto him tighter. “I thought you were gone.”
It sounded like those words physically pained him to say, and you shake your head before burying your face against the side of his neck. “I’m here,” you cry, reaching up to grip his shoulder. “I’m right here.”
Rick pulled back and gently gripped your jaw, his eyes taking in your features as if he still couldn’t believe you were right there in front of him. “You got out,” he rasped, his thumb stroking your cheek with a barely-there pressure. 
You nod, tangling your hands in his damp hair. “With Tyreese, we found Carol a few days later,” you tell him then quickly add, “Well, she found us.”
Rick smiled at your words and it was the prettiest thing you’ve seen in weeks. “You got out,” he murmured, so quiet you barely heard it. 
You just nod again and push yourself upwards. Rick meets you halfway and kisses you multiple times, making you laugh against his mouth. “I got out,” you whisper and press a few kisses to his cheek and jaw, then you are wrapped up in his arms again.
Carl makes his way over to you just as Rick reluctantly lets you go and hugs Carol, and you smile down at your boyfriend’s son, who just wraps his arms around your middle and hugs you tight. “Hey, buddy,” you greet quietly, draping your arms over his shoulders as you glance back at Rick. 
“Hey,” Carl said back, looking up at you with relieved eyes and a look you’d never seen from him. “Missed you.”
Your lips part in a silent gasp, not used to hearing those kinds of words from him. You were sure he was still a bit upset that you were with his dad instead of his mom now, but were pleasantly proven wrong as he squeezed you one last time before stepping away. “I missed you,” you’re finally able to say as Rick comes back over and pulls you into his side. “And you.”
He grinned down at you and kissed the top of your head just as the red haired man speaks up, “You guys are the luckiest sons of bitches I’ve ever met,” 
You furrow your brows as Glenn laughs, wrapping his arm around Maggie’s waist. “We’re not lucky very often,”
“Yeah, well, both you and Rick here found your better halves,” the man said and adjusted the strap on his gun. “I’d say that’s pretty lucky. It’s a miracle we got out of that damn train, too.”
“That wasn’t luck,” Daryl grunted as he looked between you and Carol, and it was then when Rick clued in.
He tightened his hold on you as he asked, “That was you two, wasn’t it?”
You shrug while Carol lets out a rare, short lived laugh. “I couldn’t lose you again,” you mumble. “Not when I hadn’t even gotten you back yet.”
Rick falls silent at that, and he locks his jaw in the way that told you he’s holding back his emotions right now. He pulls you into his arms again and kisses the top of your head, muttering, “Thank you,” once he pulls away. 
“There’s something else,” Carol says, making everyone look over at her. “But I think we should show you rather than tell you.” 
And that was how you found yourself wrapped up in Glenn’s arms once Rick finally let you go after he saw that Judith was alive and being held by Tyreese. You return your best friend’s hug as you watch Rick cry quietly, taking Judith from the man who protected her with his life for as long as you’ve been separated. 
Maggie comes over to you and hugs you as well as Carl runs over to hug his sister, and the whole thing was like something straight out of a movie as you felt a warmth take over you.
You were back with your family. They were all alive. They were okay. 
The two men share a look as Rick realizes that he had Tyreese to thank for keeping Judith safe, then Sasha is hugging her brother with tears in her eyes. You pull away from Maggie as Rick hands Judith to Carl, then you are engulfed in his embrace. “Thank you,” his voice was raspy and his breathing was uneven, and you could tell he was on the verge of tears again as he held you tight. “I thought she was gone. I thought Judith was gone.”
You hugged him back, sniffling quietly. “We had to grab her quickly, we just took what we could before getting out of there,” 
Rick pulled away and kissed you, his hands reaching up to grip either side of your face. “I love you,” he mumbled, tangling his fingers in your hair as he kissed your forehead. “I love you so much. Thank you for keeping her safe, all of you.” He glances back at Carol and Tyreese, who just nod at him, then he is focused back on you. 
“I love you,” came your hushed reply, and you leaned in to rest your head against his shoulder, finally feeling safe for the first time in what felt like forever.
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byerseason · 2 days
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why byler is the only logical way to end stranger things: a personal opinion
long post incoming. i've been thinking about what else can they do other than canon byler or is there any logical way which would please everyone. but i genuinely can't find any logical ending.
first of all, let's see the options i heard from people who doesn't think byler is gonna happen.
not adressing will's love for mike, mike never finding out about it and will's arc simply focusing on supernatural part : well, we all know that's impossible. not after spending a whole season to show us his deep love for mike. also it's confirmed that an emotional arc for him is what is gonna tie up the story.
"his love for mike was for him to explore his sexuality, he's gonna have another boyfriend." : they could easily show it to us without bringing mike into it. the byers moving to california was a perfect chance for it since it's a place better than hawkins when it comes to LGBT, they could easily give him a love interest, include him to their journey to find el just like they included argyle and give him a good character arc in s5, just like robin in s4. well, they didn't.
"mike is gonna reject will" : okay, then what was the reason of making him fall in love with mike? did the writers want to write a horrible story for the only gay child in the group? especially after showing us how miserable he feels about mike and how much he loves him? no.
now let's look deeper at the character arcs. my biggest reason to think byler is the only logical way is: will byers
i don't think i have to mention how much will suffered throughout the show and how he needs the happiest ending. they left season 4 at a point where everything about that love triangle is unresolved and they're obviously going to do something with it.
we all know mike is the one who understands will the most. he always been, since the very beginning. we've been shown that their bond is different and special. in a scenario where mike rejects will, we all know this is gonna be ruined. will is not gonna magically bury his love and go back to being besties with mike. and for mike, it's not possible for him to ignore will's love for him and stay friends as nothing happened. it would ruin their friendship for absolutely nothing.they can't simply take the only one who understands away from him.
will said he wants to spend the rest of his life with mike for two times. even if he doesn't have any hope, he desires it. so why giving him a love that he will never have? in this scenario will's character arc is literally "the gay kid always thought he will never have love just because he is gay, he thinks it's wrong and he is a mistake, well yes, he was right! he will never find the love and just watch the other straight people have it. thanks for watching stranger things." will's arc should be an arc where he is proven wrong, where he understands it's okay to love, where he is loved the way he loves, purely. otherwise his character arc is gonna be useless. where did we leave will in s4? he was thinking there's no chance for mike to love him and he has zero hope-- he ripped off the band aid. if mike rejects him the character arc and all the build up in season 4 becomes useless. he was at zero, and he is still at zero.
like i said giving him an arc where he is loved the way he loves was easy to be done without mike but now it's too late. they made it super clear that will doesn't want to be loved, he wants to be loved by mike. mike hurts him yet he still thinks mike makes him feel like he's not a mistake at all. that's not a simple crush. that's pure love. as a writer of a show you don't spend too much time to sympathize the characters love to the audience -something you never did with your other characters, at least not as much as will- you don't show them pouring their heart to a gift, just to waste it, just to make the character feel the worst they can feel just to make the person they love happy. will loves mike such a way that he prioritizes his happiness over his. this is what is gonna pay off.
the second character whose character arc needs byler: mike wheeler
mike has always been the most complicated character of the show, but most of his actions have no explanation other than him dealing with his own feelings. the show introduced mike as the leader of the party and i think it's okay to say he was one of the main characters in season 1 & 2. what happened after s2? a crazy character downfall. the audience started to dislike him and think he is useless. he didn't have any character development in the past 2 seasons. why? why? why?
because we all just watched him struggling. dealing with something inside of his mind that we don't know.
let's talk about a scenario where byler doesn't happen. this makes all mike's arc about being a love interest since s3. no development, no explanation for his behavior in the past 2 seasons. of course mike is traumatized and never talks to anyone which effects his behavior a lot. but there's still an unanswered question. why is he distancing himself from will specificially? the writers showed us that they understand each other the best, they know each other the best and notice if somethings wrong, so why is he distancing himself from the person who he needs the most as a best friend?
this is where we start to think if the problem is will himself, for mike.
why did we make will fall in love with mike just for mike to distance himself from will for no reason and make will upset? did we want will to suffer for no reason or create an empty storyline?
if mike is not how we think he is, he is going to end the show with an empty character arc who is nothing but a love interest, a side character. if mike ends up how we think he is, he is going to be the best onscreen representation of internalized homophobia. people think he is useless or just an asshole but he will turn out to be a perfectly written character who has his own arc.
people love to say "gay people didn't exist in 80s, byler would be unrealistic." which is completely wrong. gay people DID exist in 80s and they DID find love. did they have peace? they didn't. this is why mike and will are gonna be a real representation. we watched all the real struggles they went through. even if we don't get to see them as a couple, they will know they love each other by the end and that's what matters. and there's nothing unrealistic about it.
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kitchenisking · 3 days
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Day 3
The Pot Of Gold At The End Of The Rainbow by TheyDraggedMeInNowIAintLeaving - (Rating: T, Words: 8,881, sterek)
Stiles meets his first Hale when he's seven, and the most important Stilinski-Hale twenty years later.
~
In which Derek's family meets the love of his life years before he does, but Derek still gets the better end of the bargain.
As You Lay Dying by FelOllie - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 9,360, sterek)
Seven excruciatingly long days since Mexico: Take Two, and Stiles still couldn't get the sound of Derek's breath rattling wetly in his lungs out of his head. He heard it in his sleep, over the the pounding rain and the sound of Malia breathing softly beside him. He heard it when he was wide awake, over the din of crowded hallways and classrooms, cutting through the noise of the last lacrosse game of the season and the bustle of the locker room.
One hundred and sixty-eight hours, give or take, and Stiles had yet to wipe the sight of a bloodied and dying Derek from behind his eyelids. He saw it with every blink and sometimes even when his eyes were open and each time it made his chest feel like it was caving in.
Soulsick by theroguesgambit - (Rating: T, Words: 3,476, sterek)
Derek loathes this idiot of a soulmate, whoever they are. For not coming to Stiles’ call, for being too useless do just to this one simple thing, for failing Stiles, proving how utterly unworthy they are before they’ve ever met him. -- Stiles is cursed with a disease that will eventually destroy his soul unless his soulmate helps strengthen it. The pack performs a ritual to call his soulmate to his side. But days pass and no one appears... 
Maybe they're already here?
Making love is how we'll pray by lanalua - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 2,742, sterek)
Stiles and Derek perform a ritual in the woods.
In a Moment of Vulnerability by cloudsarefluffy - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 87,097, sterek)
While in New York City to visit his aspiring and success-hungry friend Scott, who left for an internship he fought for over several years ago, Stiles runs into an alpha with a devilish reputation and a dark, tantalizing look that precedes him. Couple that with horny loneliness and failed suppressants, and you’ve got the perfect recipe for a one-night stand that will set the bar forever.
But what if forever isn’t something that the one person you’ve given yourself to wants? What if a forever is somehow growing inside of you after a few months pass and a planned heat is missed? What if you don’t know what to do and there’s only so much chocolate that can soothe an aching heart before you feel like you've got morning sickness all over again?
This is a story about how Stiles loses his virginity alongside himself, and somehow, he manages to find something he never thought he’d ever have along the way.
Looking forward by Smowkie - (Rating: T, Words: 6,953, sterek)
Derek’s cabin was small. Tiny, even. He liked it, sometimes he missed having a big house, like the one he had grown up in, but the cabin was good, comfortable, and he, well, it was somewhere to hide, somewhere no one would find him. Somewhere no one would bother him.
He was happy, though, sort of. Happier than in a long time, he had a comfortable little home, lots of land he could run on—and he did, shifted to his full wolf form and ran for hours, it was wonderful—and his life wasn’t bad at all.
Then one day, the 21st of December on his second year living there, Stiles came to visit.
Written for the prompt cuddles in a power outage.
I Want You to be Happy by lvmehtme - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 13,851, sterek)
Stiles' dad has finally founds someone and the way he looks at her like she hung the moon and the joy in his every smile after all these years is worth everything that she does to him in the dead of night when no one's looking.
I'm giving everyone a fair warning right now, there's statutory rape and psychological trauma in this fic. It ends happy, but it does get graphic. Please proceed with care.
loyalty. courage. integrity. by redhoodedwolf - (Rating: G, Words: 707, sterek)
“Derek what the fuck!”
“Hard first day?” Derek guessed. He pushed himself forward and extended a hand towards Stiles. “You can vent, I have time to listen.”
Little Kid Crush by orphan_account - (Rating: T, Words: 5,052, sterek)
“What’s your name?” Derek asks, wiping the last of the tears off the kid’s face with his sleeve.
“’tiles,” the kid mumbles, and Derek frowns, wondering if he heard correctly.
“Tiles?” Derek repeats.
“Stiles,” the kid repeats, pouting at Derek slightly, defiant even though his eyes are still puffy and red and his cheeks tear-stained.
Witches Wrath by alikatastic - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 2,063, sterek)
Derek is cursed by witches giving him a hard problem. Nothing works, not cold showers, not his hand. He goes to Stiles for help, and the great friend he is Stiles won't turn him away.
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radioisntdead · 19 hours
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Ways to piss off an Italian
Alternatively three ways to cartoonishly piss off an Italian
Hazbin hotel x reader [Platonic]
Warnings:
Italian stereotypes, just jokin' around this is all in good fun! I put an Imp OC of mine in as the reader assistant! She just pops in and out to stir things up! Reader's learning to cook other types of food because they've hadn't had to cook for themselves in ages they just had others do it. Ending is a little off but we don't talk about that I finished this at 6 am I need sleep, Angel isn't that pissed mostly dismayed
Good evening folks! This is a side story with Eldritch horror reader and Angel dust because he's Italian, this is somewhat inspired by my own bit of how my younger self made it her mission to piss off Italians because of that Italian TikTok duo back in 2020-2021 [???] She did not succeed as she did not know any Italians and all she did was eat spaghetti noodles with anything but a fork.
this is also the 100 followers special! Now at the time of posting we are FAR past that at 207! but better late then never! Thank you so much for the support, I genuinely did not think this many folks would like my silly little writings, I adore getting y'all's requests, comments, and just appearing in my inbox genuinely it makes my day thank you! And I hope you enjoy!
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Angel Dust took great pride in his Italian heritage and culture, as he was truly Italian.
Unfortunately he lived with a centuries old Eldritch horror who may or may not have lived in Europe during the bubonic plague and didn't understand the more "modern'' Italian or Italy at all, and others that didn't understand the "sacredness" of the Italians.
🍝The spaghetti.🍝
You took over cooking in the hotel, you and Alastor had begun fighting over the kitchen, whoever got there first got to cook and today, you were victorious.
You were exploring new recipes you had thus far made spicy tteokbokki and Korean corn dogs, some type of curry that was sonic blue, teriyaki chicken, hummus and other things! You experimented with different flavors, seasonings,
These tasty things would've ended you if you ate it back when you were alive and not dying of the bubonic plague.
Anyways, you decided to give making spaghetti a try because you were in the mood for something fairly easy to make.
As you perused the recipe book while humming along to the songs playing from Alastor's radio show, you nodded noting down the ingredients before pulling out the phone that the little Imp that worked for you had bought you insisting you should have one to contact her instead of hunting her down at random and dragging her away.
You squinted as you scrolled through the few contacts you had until you reached said imp's phone number and slowly texted her a barrage of ingredients to buy.
Cece carefully opened the hotel doors and skittered over to the kitchen, having memorized the route since she delivered ingredients to you almost daily at this point.
You grinned as you took the ingredients from Cece's hands turning around to place them on the counter while she pulled up a chair and sat down waiting for the inevitable "Dear Cece can you cut this" or "Dear Cece can you stir this"
You washed off the tomatoes before slicing in an x and blanching them, you peeled the tomatoes after and diced them up before putting them aside to cut up yellow onions, you gathered them up and placed them into a pan, sprinkling in salt to unleashed the onion liquids and sweetness.
You added in some prechopped garlic and let it saute.
While that was happening you took the tomatoes and crushed them, once done you combined the tomatoes with the rest letting it simmer.
You added other components like herbs, basil and a little olive old at the end just for fun.
You filled up another pot with water to boil, sprinkling a twinge of salt and stirring it in.
You brushed your hands on your apron, as you scooted around to find the box of spaghetti noodles, grinning you opened it and take out the pasta.
It was at this unfortunate moment Angel dust decided to waltz on into the kitchen, intending to see what was for dinner and maybe snag something to munch on, you held the dry pasta over the pot, both hands gripping the ends
"Hey tentacles, what's for- WHAT THE FUCK!''
"Good evening Dearest Angel! I'm making spaghetti!"
You said unfazed as the pasta snapped in half and dropped into the pot as Angel dust watched in pure horror.
"Why would you do that?!" Angel asked, his voice pitched as he asked arms gesturing to the pot of sad broken pasta boiling away.
"Make spaghetti? I didn't think it was such a controversial meal"
"No! You broke the pasta! That's like the biggest sin ya can do! What is wrong with ya?"
"We're already in hell, I don't think sins matter much here," Cece popped in, you jumped slightly forgetting the imp was there.
"They do when it comes to' fuckin' pasta toots!"
Angel dust shouted before promptly turning around and leaving the kitchen, leaving you completely confused and Cece amused, unfortunately her amusement turned into irritation as you asked her to grab the ground beef and roll it into balls so you could cook them because meatballs.
During dinner time your spaghetti was a hit!
Charlie complimented your cooking saying you outdid yourself while Vaggie was grabbing a second serving, Sir Pentious enjoyed slurping up the noodles, Niffty kept stabbing the meatballs foe whatever reason, Husk seemed to enjoy the meal however Angel dust had one pair of arms crossed while he reluctantly ate, it was good he could admit but he knew the sin that you had committed while cooking, he knew that innocent pasta had been broken.
Angel dust almost died a second time when he walked into the kitchen later that night for a midnight snack and witnessed a probably drunk Husk eating leftover spaghetti pasta with ketchup because the sauce you had made was on a higher shelf in the refrigerator and he didn't feel like climbing.
🍕 pineapple pizza time.🍕
You and Alastor had... For lack of better words got into a little fight over the kitchen, tentacles, shadows, mild mind control and other things were used until Vaggie stepped in and separated the two of you,
It was decided that pizza would be ordered for the hotel, much to Alastor's disapproval.
Cheese, pepperoni, pineapple and ham, and supreme were the pizzas ordered unbeknownst to Angel dust since he was coming back to the hotel from a hangout with Cherri.
"Angel! Welcome back we ordered pizza!" Charlie said waving the spider over as Vaggie placed the pizza boxes onto the table.
"Great! I'm starvin'!" Angel walked over just in time to see the box containing pineapple pizza opened up.
"Nevermind I'll starve."
"We have other pizzas Angel."
Vaggie did not get paid enough to deal with this, she didn't even get paid!
Angel dust was extremely disappointed in you, you were the one to suggest getting pineapple pizza because you quote, "Never had it before and wanted to try it",
You were well over a few centuries old, you weren't a child, you had gone to hell and become an overlord that rained terror for a couple of years and therefore you should've been able to tell that pineapple on pizza was a crime against humanity, so what if pizza wasn't a thing during your time, it was a thing that came to be while you were down here!
He had later lectured you about it, it was amusing to you! You were a feared overlord and yet this little Italian guy had the gull to lecture you, this was normal in families right? To not be afraid of each other? How wonderful!
The lecture eventually switched over to Husk who was eating pizzas folded which was just weird because he was just tasting the crust! What about the cheese? The sauce? THE SAUCE HUSK? DO YOU NOT TASTE IT?
Husk was too sober for the lecture, Alastor found it amusing though.
🇮🇹Italian PowerPoint presentation 🇮🇹
"Alright tentacles, we're havin' a intervention!" Angel dust said throwing his hands down on the coffee table as you sipped something from a teacup, probably tea.
"Is what you dragged us here for? This shit?"
Husk was here, how did he always get dragged into these things? Niffty was beside him trying to stab a roach, Charlie and Vaggie were out of the hotel, Alastor was hell knew where, probably doing radio stuff and Angel dust had somehow tracked down your assistant and dragged her there.
"Oh! Whatever for dearie?" You asked head tilted as you placed your cup on the table,
"You've committed so many fuckin' crimes in the past week! Ya' broke the pasta before puttin' it in the pot! Ya' put cream in the carbonara! Ya ate pineapple on pizza, I get we're in hell but are ya fuckin' kiddin' me?-" Angel moved his arms around to empathize his point "Not to mention that little fusion stunt, ya' deranged octopus!"
You hummed thinking about the meals you've made recently before responding, "I don't think I made anything bad?"
"You decided to put tomato sauce, cheese and pepperoni on cooked ramen and stuck it in da' oven and ate it."
"It wasn't as good as the little people on the interwebs said."
"OF COURSE IT WASN'T GOOD IT WAS A CRIME! IT CAME OUT OF THE DEEPS OF HELL."
"Eh, it wasn't that bad" Cece popped in to stir the pot, Angel slowly turned around becoming slightly more spidery
"The fuck did ya just say?"
Cece shrugged, "Food's expensive and I need to eat."
Cece was picked up and thrown on the couch with you as Angel dust set up a PowerPoint presentation about the history of Italian food and whatever else, You did not want to be here you'd rather be drinking your drink in peace, Husk didn't want to be here he'd rather be drinking, your hellborn imp assistant didn't want to be here, she's never going to Italy she didn't need to know this and Niffty, well she's still stabbing things on the floor.
By the time Charlie and Vaggie returned you had zoned out completely and your mind was elsewhere, Niffty was napping on your shoulder, Cece had escaped by asking Angel if garlic bread was Italian and while he went on that tangent she ran out abandoning everyone.
Husk was more dead inside then per usual, he wasn't paid enough for this, the first hour was fine but this had been going on for five hours at this point, how did Angel dust manage to drag this PowerPoint presentation out so long?
Vaggie shut it down after it was realized that you weren't responding and they thought you had somehow died,
You did not die and you eventually snapped out of it when a white cloth was put over you in order to hide the body.
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Good evening folks! Thank you for turning on in! I hope you enjoyed, my apologies for taking forever to get this out, if your wondering why it feels like there's a missing gap that's because I wrote a whole lil' thing of reader and Alastor combining forces to annoy Angel and I accidentally deleted it.
I'm gonna rewrite it eventually and add it to a different fic with Eldritch horror reader, also If your wondering why I have an imp OC in here there is a reason with Eldritch horror and their family complex you'll see eventually
I'll be getting the readers backstory which will be the 200 follower special out [hopefully] soon so tune on in for that! Thank you again have a wonderful day!
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thefirst3chapters · 17 hours
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Unpopular opinion (maybe): Luke's ultimatum at the end of Season 3 inadvertently reinforced Jess's choices that stopped him from finishing high school in the first place.
Disclaimer: The intent here isn't to attack Luke for how he handled things. The overall effect of Luke's presence in Jess's life is undoubtedly positive and instrumental to where Jess ended up. Luke was put in an unfair position that he wasn't prepared for, he genuinely cared and tried his best with the knowledge he had, and it would have been well within his rights to say no to Liz to begin with or to Jess when he came back after the car accident.
From what Jess tells Rory in "Teach Me Tonight," it sounds like he never had much academic support from adults, which is of course why Rory's belief in him will end up meaning so much. Details about Jess's childhood that are revealed once Liz is around suggest that Jess didn't have trustworthy adults in his life and had to learn how to be self-sufficient early. Even though we as the audience can see that Luke is responsible and trustworthy through his own actions and his relationships with people who have known him for many years, Jess doesn't have the same history with him, and it can take a long, long time to unlearn those survival instincts. Additionally, Jess's Walmart manager, as gregarious and pro-corporate as he seems to be, doesn't appear to engage in the practice of pressuring introverts to socialize (which happened to Rory at Chilton) and allows Jess to do something constructive and work toward a tangible reward. Some people get these benefits from going to school, but Jess didn't. Then there's a layer of youthful hubris here because Jess really did seem to think that he could manage all of this and go to school just enough to graduate based on what he tells Rory in S3 E17, Luke in S3 E18, and the principal in S3 E19. With of all this information in mind, it's really not surprising that Jess would prioritize work above school. His logic is self-destructive but understandable, and his fatal flaw ends up being that he committed to more responsibilities than a person could reasonably handle. This isn't the standard media portrayal of ditching school.
Luke's approach to being Jess's guardian is fairly hands-off. After Luke's "laying down the law" talk in the first episode Jess is in, the only requirement we see enforced is that Jess has to work at the diner, which Jess complies with. Luke didn't know Jess was working at Walmart at all until Jess bought his car, he didn't know Jess was eventually working more than full-time hours, and he didn't know Jess was missing as much school as he was. (This last one suggests a significant oversight at the school, which is another story.) When the extent of Jess's work hours is brought to his attention and Lorelai speculates about what is going on, he tells Lorelai that there is no way Jess would skip school and doesn't investigate further. When he realizes Jess is working some days instead of going to school, he offers to pay Jess more at the diner (and later steals his car) to prevent him from working at Walmart (the place he worked before he had a car to earn the money to buy it???) but doesn't press him about what is really going on.
So after all of that, it turns out Jess didn't go to school enough to graduate. Luke does give Jess the option to stay in Stars Hollow and keep going to school, but I could never blame someone for not being able to have a rational conversation immediately after a stranger randomly shows up, claims paternity, and runs out. The emotional damage of that incident really can't be divorced from what happens here. Luke is of course also in crisis mode. Jess didn't graduate because he worked too much, so now he's in a position where his consequence is to keep doing what got him into trouble, only this time he doesn't have anyone looking after him. This isn't what Luke is intending, but his ultimatum basically reinforces Jess's mindset of prioritizing work (i.e. short-term financial security) above school and his reluctance to trust other people, and it reinforces Jess's family history (ironically not including Luke) of abandoning difficult situations (in this case, the aftermath of the fight with Dean) and relationships (in this case, Rory) instead of facing them. Jess ends up on his own with the money he had from work that he was saving for a different car, so he probably thinks it's a good thing he worked as much as he did, and he ends up without adult guidance or restrictions to help him sort all this out and repair the harm he caused. This could have turned out much more darkly than it did, and it's really a miracle that Jess got to where he was by the time he was 21.
When Jess is with Jimmy in California, he acknowledges that he's failed and doesn't know where to go from there. It probably isn't outlandish to think that Jess was earning more as a full-time forklift driver than what he is earning during Season 4. Factoring in the lower cost of living in Stars Hollow or somewhere nearby compared to New York, he probably could have been able earn a decent living if he stayed at Walmart (even if he wouldn't have been better off in the long run). That's probably why Luke's "I'm sorry I didn't think driving a forklift for the rest of your life was good enough for you" stung. It was likely a much better situation than whatever Jess is in mid-Season 4.
In late Season 4, Jess seems resigned to where he is. He doesn't complain or blame anyone else for his circumstances, even when Luke repeatedly mocks him in New York. (Even mid-Season 4, Jess doesn't express anger toward Luke about anything other than Luke stealing his car until Luke provokes him multiple times.) Maybe Jess was already thinking about writing a book or studying for a GED during Season 4, but his posture and mannerisms seem to suggest defeat more than anything else. At this point, Jess might not be envisioning anything other than what he has. It is only after Luke accepts Jess for who he is, and stops seeing him as a failed project, ("You are who you are. I cannot change that, and I'm going to stop trying.") that Jess really starts to move forward. Although Luke isn't even very positive in how he says this, it's still the sort of affirmation Jess always needed and maybe never received from a family member before. Then, he's honest with Luke about his emotions, he's receptive to Luke's advice, he expresses appreciation for what Luke did for him, he offers Luke a way to stay in contact, and he makes a commitment to pay him back even though Luke says he doesn't have to do so. He tries (and fails, for the time being) to make amends with Rory, and after all of these things happen, he progresses into the version of himself that returns in Season 6. Jess pursues a path that Luke doesn't quite understand but has accepted and is proud of (it's also a path that Rory does understand and is proud of, and both forms of support are so important).
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skyloftian-nutcase · 2 days
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The crisp, cool air and bright sun heralded the death of winter, a welcome reprieve from snowy patrols and freezing in metal armor. Abel enjoyed winter, honestly - snow brought a beauty and silence to the world that he rarely experienced, and both he and Tilieth could get lost staring out at the white expanse until they were both dragged indoors by her parents because they were shivering. Nevertheless, spring brought new life to the world, and it was Tilieth’s favorite season, so Abel liked it too.
Most importantly, though, the eve of springtime was when Abel was given a break so he could return home.
Breathing in the scent of flowers, Abel guided his horse from the Dueling Peaks Stable, feeling his heart swell with excitement as he headed towards the fort. He hadn’t been home in nearly six months, and he couldn’t wait to see his family. He glanced to his right to see wild horses grazing in the distance, giving him comfort and making him smile. This area was the most beautiful in Hyrule, in his opinion. He remembered when he was first stationed near Hateno Village, and he thanked Hylia every day for that blessing.
Movement up ahead caught his attention, and the knight squinted as he saw someone riding his way at a full canter. Abel moved his steed towards the right side of the road to make way, senses alert for trouble, when he recognized the white spotted mare and his heart sped up in eager anticipation.
Tilieth’s smile was as bright as the sun, but the way she held herself was strange. She slowed her horse’s pace, one hand hidden under a cloak that she had tightly wrapped around her while the other guided the reins. Her light blonde curly hair was in its usual half up style, frizzy but carefree in the breeze. Abel sped up to cover the distance, and within seconds the two were side beside and in each other’s arms.
“What are you doing out here?” Abel asked as Tilieth giggled in his embrace. He didn’t let her go, he couldn’t, not after being away from her for so long, but something felt strange. Tilieth seemed in high spirits, but he didn’t like how he picked up on a change in atmosphere. Was it simply because it had been six months? What was wrong?
Tilieth looked up at him, face radiant, eyes sparkling with anticipation and tears. She kissed him first and foremost, and he returned it in full, enjoying the texture of her lips, the smell of her skin, the way his body melted under her touch, the way he felt safe and loved. Whatever was different, surely it couldn’t be so bad.
When his wife finally pulled away, she gave him one last kiss on the tip of his nose, giggling. “Oh, honey, it’s so good to see you.”
“I missed you,” Abel admitted with a soft sigh, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead before continuing with his earlier questioning. “But how did you know I’d be here today? What are you doing out here?”
“I spent yesterday planning out your route,” Tilieth answered with a little shrug. “You’re pretty predictable, you know, once I knew where you’d last been stationed based on your letters.”
Abel chuckled. He supposed he was predictable. His wife certainly wasn’t, though - he hadn’t expected her to meet him at the fort rather than waiting in the village.
“I just couldn’t wait to tell you!” Tilieth continued, squeezing him tightly as their horses waited patiently alongside each other.
“Tell me what?” Abel asked good naturedly, nuzzling her with his cheek.
“Oh, honey,” Tilieth gasped, pulling away, too excited to contain herself. “I’m—here, look!”
Abruptly, his wife reached forward to grab his hand, pushing her cloak off one shoulder to reveal her clothes underneath a little more. Abel wondered if perhaps she’d made something new, knowing she enjoyed to sew, when he noticed that her body shape was different.
Her abdomen was…
Tilieth guided his hand towards her belly, letting it rest there. Abel froze up entirely, his mind very quickly coming to the conclusion she was hinting at.
The little movement underneath his touch confirmed it.
“You—you’re—” He couldn’t even finish the statement, brain stopping short of the words, entire being reeling at the realization. Then the anxiety immediately hit. “You shouldn’t be riding, Til, what if—we need to get you home, and—”
Tilieth laughed outright now, kissing him again to silence his worried words. “I just had to see you, Abel! But come on, we can go home together.”
Abel stared at her, worries and happiness and relief and terror mixing together to the point that he didn’t even know what to say. So he just held her again, never wanting to let go, never wanting this moment to end, never wanting to get over the realization that he was a father now.
I’m a father.
What did—how could he be—what was he going to—the baby—there was a baby.
Tilieth was pregnant.
Abel laughed. He laughed until he cried, he held Tilieth as he trembled, and she rubbed his back lovingly, and he didn’t know what to say or do but by the goddess he would do everything he could for his wife and child. He would. He promised.
The couple moved side by side on their horses, the sun bright, spring in the air, new life all around them, and despite the silence that hung between them for the moment, their eyes spoke far more than any word in any language ever could.
And for one, beautiful moment, everything was perfect.
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chirpsythismorning · 17 hours
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The Vanishing of BLANK Wheeler
I wanted to make a list, from least likely to most likely, for which Wheeler I think is going to go missing.
But I also wanted to give a little disclaimer first, that even if these titles are real, they could still be fake, or could even possibly change given how much time we still have until s5 actually premieres.
For s2-3, the Duffers literally released official promo videos announcing episode titles for their upcoming season, with some of them changing when the season finally premiered.
Like in the case of s3 for example, they dropped a s3 episode promo video only a day after they completed filming. Meaning them titling 3x06 The Birthday, made absolutely no sense. They knew they didn't film anything birthday related for that episode. So they intentionally gave that one a fake name.
In the case of s4, that was the first time they promoted an upcoming season without giving fake titles, with the s4 promo announcing them following through with what we ended up with when s4 finally dropped.
I guess I sort of assumed s5 would follow in s4's footsteps, but from a leak standpoint, it might be smart to remember that fake titles are still a possiblity regardless. Especially in this case, where it's getting to the point in production where leaks are unavoidable. And so that might even explain why they play with this idea of fake episodes, which is because they can rest easy knowing leaks will mostly consist of half fake titles they planted there.
But for the sake of this post, lets humor the title for episode 2.
For starters, it's worth noting that the person who shared this leak originally said 'BLANK wheeler'. So as far as I know, they did not give any number of letters via underscores (_) to hint at who this Wheeler could possibly be. It's when ST news accounts caught wind of the leak and started rolling out posts, replacing BLANK with 5 underscores, that led a lot of fans to assume that the Wheeler had to have 5 letters in their name, which would have obviously ruled out Ted and Mike. But since all the Wheeler's are still on the table based on the original leak, they will all be included in this list.
5. Ted Wheeler
Believe it or not, there is something that I think actually warrants considering Ted as a possiblity.
There were some posts @stranger-chichka made a while back, comparing visual parallels between Stranger Things and Chernobyl, which could be hinting at this concept of Ted being in danger.
TBH though I think Ted being in danger or ending up dead is a possiblity regardless of him actually being the missing Wheeler.
Technically speaking, quite literally no one on the show is ruled out from being in danger at this point, so that's not saying much.
And considering the show is going to need to kill off some people next season and they are insistent on not killing any of their leads, supporting characters amongst the ranks have a high risk at being taken out. The emotional connection for Ted from the audience isn't as strong as other characters, but at least him being in close relation to a few main characters is something? I mean, he's funny I guess?
Quite frankly I don't think it's likely nor do I think it would actually make sense narratively for Ted to be the one to go missing out of all of them. I think it's a lot more likely they'd just kill him off, hence the Chernobyl parallels which imply he's gonna die. And so wasting time by having him go missing, only to kill him, just doesn't track. I think they'd just get that over with without dragging it out for very long, if anything.
Can you just imagine someone on the show shouting emotionally, It's Dad (Ted). He's gone.' Like, okay... And? I have a hard time imagining the characters being in serious turmoil over this, at least not enough for it to warrant like final season stakes amongst a bunch of other crazy shit happening. At best, the characters would be indifferently guilty for getting him roped into all this.
So yeah, I really don't see it happening.
4. Nancy Wheeler
I honestly feel like Nancy is even less likely to go missing than Ted, but the un-seriousness of an episode titled The Vanishing of Ted Wheeler is so astronomical, that I really had no choice but to put him last.
The reason I think Nancy is just very unlikely to go missing is because they technically already had her go missing as a cliffhanger between Vol 1 and 2 last season. It would just fall flat if they repeated something along those lines, with that same character, 3 episodes later. Vecna could have killed her and yet he didn't. His point was to send her a message, which was why he did what he did and then released her. The choice to target Nancy and taunt her about her family's safety in the first place, felt like their attempt at foreshadowing the danger that is to come for all of them, but one specifically. One of them that is not her. Which will make this moment back in s4 feel a lot more impactful upon rewatches.
So yeah, not feeling like Nancy is very likely.
3. Karen Wheeler
Karen is sort of a hard nut to crack all around. In the case that she is somehow connected to the Creels (Alice), anything is possible in terms of not only her being targeted, but again the entire family being at risk in some capacity. Without much to go off of outside of the obvious very haphazard timeline confusion, I feel like putting her somewhere in the middle. She was given a poster for s4. If she is Alice, then yeah it would make sense to target her. The stakes are also a lot stronger in comparison to Ted, because she was the parent in the family that actually came to Mike or Nancy and told them verbally that she wanted them to open up to her and is actually shown trying on several occasions. Whereas Ted is sort of just there when he's on screen. So the characters' distress would be a lot more dire and interesting to see unfold amongst everyone.
I also remember there being a leak in relation to Karen, Holly, Mike and Nancy all being at the hospital filming. And this was also like a day or so after ST dropped a video of Cara saying she was filming that day to hype up fans. So that leak did check out on the Karen front at least. Which puts her at the hospital at some point, potentially along with the rest of the Wheelers. Now that I'm thinking about it though, this could all fit with a Ted Wheeler death...
At this point, I'm sort of like indifferent to the possiblity, but it's still more likely than Ted and Nancy to me.
2. Holly Wheeler
It all goes back to s1, when Karen was visiting the Byers to console Joyce after Will went missing, when Holly sort of ventures off to Will's room, being guided by the lights, and sees the demogorgan in the wall.
I feel like people overlook this moment too, because it's kind of crazy that Holly has seen UD shit for herself. She was young enough that she could rule it out as just imagining things. And that could be partly the case even if she is skeptical.
There is something about Holly that makes her curious and sort of open to this world that most around her have no idea exists. And yet simultaneously some of the people closest to her do know about it and could easily clue her in when the time comes to do so, and because of that, I think she would probably be able to believe it all a lot faster than others.
Maybe this is a story where things need to happen and it just always ends up this way, but she has this tendency to be included in things that feel very important. Like in s4 with her playing with the lite-brite, and how that ended up being used to communicate with the others in the UD. There's this almost clairvoyance vibe about her. Her feeling the need to follow the Christmas lights to Will's room and her noticing and then fixating on the trees in s3.
Like I said, I don't know if it's something deeper, but it very well could be in the case she is connected to the Creels.
And while that is all somewhat compelling, at the same time it also feels very convoluted. Even if the Wheelers are Creels, I don't think that means the Wheelers would have powers, given that Henry got them when he was a child, meaning none of his family could have gotten them unless they too were taken in by the lab at some point, or were born with it.
Though I'm being full serious when I say the theories about Mike having time powers or maybe just manifestations from his emotions connected to the powers of others around him is one of my favorite theories of all time. I want it to happen. It would be cool. But that just opens the door to all of the Wheelers in my opinion, assuming his time powers came from being related to Henry. And if it was done that way, I feel like it would add way too much confusion to the story, where now all the Wheelers are gonna need to have powers, and then as a result would just takes away from the uniqueness that is already associated with Henry, El and potentially Will. One person potentially having powers without us knowing until the end aka Will, is enough honestly. Adding the Wheelers to the mix might be a bit much.
I'm also not totally convinced of the Wheeler's being Creels, and yet I also can't seem to want to rule it out entirely. But the prospects of Holly having powers or some sort of ability and just going through the same thing as Will when he was young and unaware of his powers, who is just now finding out the truth about his experiences... It just feels like serious whiplash honestly, when they haven't spent much of any time on Holly up to this point.
Like what are the stakes here exactly? What makes her disappearance and what that would look like compelling, on her front specifically? Because sure, I can see it being compelling watching the perspective of those around her reacting to this, what they would do to try to save her and all that, but what does that mean for her exactly? Are we going to see what she's doing? Are they going to hide it from us like they did with Will and then have to spend even more time uncovering it later on. And what does she even gain from being alone and taunted by Vecna presumably? What does the audience gain from witnessing that sort of event? There isn't a lot of story to explore there, outside of maybe making direct parallels to Will in s1? And then wouldn't that sort of take away from the importance of Will's role in it all just now being uncovered, if it all just repeats for Holly?
Which brings me to something that I see a lot of people using as strong evidence for why it has to be Holly, which is the fact that they recast her character.
What I think people are failing to consider is the fact that the twins who were cast to play Holly originally, were like 3-4 years old while filming s1. They weren't just kid actors, they were damn near baby actors. And while I know a big part of the reason why they gave Holly such few lines over the years was because the actors were aging way faster than the character they played, I think another factor could have been the fact that their acting experience is near nothing outside of Stranger Things, which is also pretty little on its own as well given that they have very few lines on the show.
It's not at all uncommon for child actors, let alone toddler actors to leave the industry once they start getting older. It could be for personal reasons, like wanting to explore other ventures, or it could be that they just don't perform as well with all the added expectations that come with acting as a character who is a kid with a lot of lines vs. a baby with 2 lines.
The girls got cast because at the time, they were able to perform as well as a 3 year old possibly could and would be expected to be in that role. But does that skill carry forth as they grew older? When now they have to deliver full sentences and carry conversations for scenes that are longer than 5 minutes? They've never really had to do that up to this point. Is it something that they feel comfortable with doing? Is their performance believable and is it something the writers feel confident about?
Honestly, I think they might have recast Holly, not because I think she is going to be targeted and focused on as this missing person they have to find, going through a near identical situation to 11 year old Will, but because they simply want her to be more apart of the story in general. And maybe because either the twins and/or the production didn't feel that they would be able to perform it in the way that they wanted it to be done.
And I mean, even if Holly isn't the one to go missing, one of the Wheelers is going to go missing based on this leak. If it was one of her parents, she would get a lot more scenes than she has in the past. If it was one of her siblings, again it would make sense for her to be more involved with the story. No matter what she is going to have a bigger role.
So no I don't think her being recast is as strong enough of proof as some might believe. If anything I think there is much stronger evidence that, like Karen, if they are related to the Creels, Holly is as fair game as any of them. The stakes could be high because she i such s a child. And her parents and Nancy and Mike worrying about her seems like something they would obviously do because she is so innocent and completely ill-equipped to endure something like that. But like I said, I just can't picture an focus like that on her, for her character, being very compelling given that Holly isn't really someone that needs like alone time with us witnessing it...
But there is one Wheeler left, and boy oh boy would he benefit from being alone.
1. Mike Wheeler
The most simple explanation for why it makes sense for it to be Mike, is that he genuinely benefits more than anyone when it comes to being alone with his thoughts, and with the audience watching. There's a lot of stuff dude has to work through in his own head, and since they haven't really let us have a moment alone with him that isn't under ten seconds since s3, an episode or two dedicated to making that a priority would make him coming back and things building up to the end, feel a lot more earned.
The audience needs to feel confident about how Mike feels about things. It can't be a guessing game for much longer when so many different factors are involved.
And while I think Mike may be the strongest possiblity in terms of the value it would add to the overall story is compelling enough to put him at number 1, the evidence supporting it happening is even stronger.
If we want to be crazy we can go back to the beginning. Plenty of fans have already speculated about how Mike is always late at the start of every season and how that might play into the beginning of season 5 again. I made a post about this recently and speculated it would happen one last time around the 15 minute mark. And maybe I was wrong... but maybe I was also right? Because if the second episode is called The Vanishing of Mike Wheeler, it's likely Mike's fate wouldn't be confirmed by the opening of 5x01, but in fact the closing scene of 5x01.
Throughout the show Mike plays a key role in leading the others, he's even referred to as 'the key' in s3 by Hopper. You know this show and their keys, they don't joke about that sort of thing. It's likely that Mike's story and what it is leading to is going to be central to how all of this ends.
Also in s3, there is one scene in particular that I think could be hinting at Mike being targeted, along with the s4 main poster with all of the characters. In the poster, we see El at the top, with Max and Mike as near equals on each side of her. Of course their roles are central and that's a fair layout on it's own arguably, but the equal-ness provided to Mike and Max feels very intentional. While she is slightly bigger than Mike in the frame, that could be a hint in regards to her being central now in s4, with Mike joining the mix alongside her in s5. Honestly, they could have made it so these two were beside other characters that also played a huge role in s4, and yet they chose those two to give a specific focus to. I think that is interesting (and probably intentional).
But if I'm being honest, there are so many moments in s4 specifically that hint at Mike being in danger, that I will not be able to include it all in detail in this post. So I'm going to link those below and then build off of some of it with some new details I've recovered that are worth re-contextualizing again with all of this in mind.
Hints regarding Mike and Will being targets of the town, but Mike specifically being focused on after the word 'missing' is said...
I'm gonna expand on this one because I think it's important to recognize the massive curtain in the background as this is all happening. And I vaguely reference this concept here as well which is worth checking out. But not is this whole concept of the curtain pretty blatant in this episode, this scene of the town all fleeing to hunt down hellfire club, is followed directly after, by this:
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Notice how Mike is nearly always central in these moments? And how what follows feels eerily similar to what is about to go down at the end of s4 aka Suzie = Mike.
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Now, this has already been talked about plenty so I won't go into detail, but... based on everything else happening surrounding this, this would apply to Mike in the sense that not only is he not in love with El, he's gay and in love with Will aka a boy. A BOY!
And then this mention of 'the terrible truth'. This word has been used like 3 times in the last few minutes. First intensely during Jason's speech about a terrible truth, with Ted and Karen being focused on with the Mike and Will extra in the background.
But what is even more crazy is that what follows sort of seals the deal for me that, this IS about Mike and it's foreshadowing what is about to come in s5.
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5:02... 5x02!!!!
Also peep the watch and the letter from Dustin under it... I don't want to speculate but lettergate is looking extra relevant within all of this as well...
And to close off this point, lets show the shot that follows directly after this one.
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Then later in the season, after Nancy is back from being taken by Vecna, here we have this long and emotional pause before she says Mike's name, last after her mom and Holly.
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If they wrote and filmed this scene, knowing Mike would be the Wheeler missing early s5, it would make sense for them to list off the characters like this.
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Mike peeking in the frame at this moment is not suspicious at all...
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If it wasn't enough that Jason hyped up the whole town to see the Hellfire club as their enemy responsible for all of this, here we have a focus on Mike specifically being targeted by Jason.
The Duffer's statement about the show overall in the Piggyback script, and I gotta say it fits Mike a lot more than any of the other Wheelers.
Mike is a Paladin. And when they break an oath, they might spend an all-night vigil as a sign of penitence... aka everything is going to come to a head and Mike is going to be alone dealing with this shit for a bit, until he can come back ready to face it.
And I know it's controversial, but this post explains perfectly why Mike being central to this would make the show go full circle in a really compelling way.
Mike hasn't really unpacked...
Karen lookalike standing in front of the missing persons board. Could be any one of them but still, considering the costume of this extra looks closer to what Karen was wearing when she reunited and hugged Mike... I'm gonna put it more so with him.
Mike's guilt and shame regarding the past and what it has led them to could also play a big role and why him going missing would be worthwhile to explore. Part 1 / Part 2
Mike paralleling Yuri, who eventually reveals the truth (in his pocket) after stalling. If Mike parallels him all throughout the start of that moment, what does that mean for how it ends for Mike?
An antique funeral home fan behind Mike in the s4 character promo photos in the Creel attic, how Mike is seen sitting before Will sits beside him shortly after and it involving upside down imagery, Mike's first line in the show being used to later foreshadow his fate in early s5, and also bringing it back to Suzie's house which I already went into but it might be helpful to look at it again from this lens.
The Duffers would not pass up on the opportunity to parallel Mike with Finn's other character Richie in IT, which is literally based on a book that heavily inspired ST in the first place. And how all of that plays into the queer-coding for Mike going all the way back to s1.
The Duffers revealed after posting the funko-pop shotplanning pictures (2) that they were finished with planning for 5x01-5x02.... meaning this shot of Mike all by himself, is going to occur in one of those episodes...
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We could still hypothesize Holly is the one to be taken, given that she doesn't have a funko and so they couldn't include her here regardless. But the fact that Nancy is with the other seems to imply to me that they are all likely working together to get Mike back, who is alone.
This one is a little more hard to pinpoint for sure, but it comes from a BTS Ross posted recently.
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We are clearly in the Wheeler's house here. And if you zoom in, it looks like someone is standing (hiding?) behind a doorway/curtain. And the only person that seems to fit it imo is Mike... But why would he be hiding in his own house...?
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It just makes me think about what is going on with Mike in early s5. What would be occurring that has him in this sort of situation? And it makes me wonder if him going missing has solely to do with him being taken and gone in one single moment, or if it could involve him avoiding his family and others potentially, with him being taken after that.
Lastly, I'm going to go into more choppy territory, stuff I know only a couple of people will actually consider. But it is pretty fucking fitting of what is about to go down so I can't not mention it.
In the Puzzle Tales' most recent Hellfire Campaign, this is the title...
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Like the whole chapter is just a big joke on Mike about him being scared to be alone, which is painfully ironic if this is the direction the show is about to go for the next 2 upcoming episodes.
And then we have a song WSQK posted on Twitter back in January. I know people don't believe that this account is connected with anyone in the production, which is fair because I myself rarely believe leaks from anonymous accounts as it is. But I've been keeping up with it and it genuinely doesn't seem like a fan could come up with these songs.
The song I'm about to mention is the 7th song they posted, called Army Dreamers by Kate Bush. And you might fight it sounds a lot like the situation Mike might find himself in in early s5.
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And though I'm sure I didn't cover everything, I feel like all the things I've mentioned and referenced from other posts are plenty to at least consider this as opposed to rejecting it all together.
At the end of the day I think there are some valid arguments for all of them to some extent. And quite frankly all of the Wheelers and most of the characters in the show will find themselves in danger in a way that is going to probably last longer than just one single moment the entire season. So even if it's just one of them, I don't think that rules out the others playing a bigger role in what is going down.
I just think narratively, there is one person that benefits from being on-screen and alone with their thoughts. And the other 4 being confronted with what that person discovers eventually will also make all of this a lot more worthwhile than any of the other options in my opinion.
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moon1833 · 20 hours
Text
HAIKYUU! BOYFRIEND HEADCANNONS
Karasuno Edition
DAICHI
Classmates to lovers!
Secretly super nervous around you before you started dating.
The entire team knew he liked you before you did.
Hinata and Nishinoya would bordline harass you to come to practices and games.
Which resulted in Daichi yelling at them frequently.
Of course you came to the games though (you find him leading the time as really attractive too).
Ends up asking you out after you come to a match that they won (Suga pressured him).
He’s extremely chivalrous, insists on meeting your parents and opens every door for you.
Doesn’t make any moves on the first date because he doesn’t want to give you the wrong impression. (He really wanted to kiss you though).
You kiss him on the cheek after he drops you off.
Catches him completely by surprise.
You have your first kiss right before a game.
He was nervous, and you came to cheer him on.
You called him over to where you were sitting and kissed him.
“Good luck!” You called out as he was leaving, not missing how red his face was.
Tanaka and Noya were loosing their shit.
As a couple, you’re the team parents.
You always tired to help out with his caption duties, you knew it was stressful for him sometimes.
Leads to the team loving you.
Serious good cop/bad cop relationship.
You get Tanaka, Nishinoya and Hinata out of trouble whenever they do something stupid.
He loves you too much so he lets it slide (he can’t say no to you).
SUGAWARA
Love at first sight! (He fell first)
Brain turned to complete mush the first time he saw you.
Was sure he’d never see you again but he didn’t go up to you.
You ended up being Kageyama’s older sibling.
He still was too scared to make any moves.
You noticed him when Karasuno played Seijoh (season 1).
You approached him to tell him he played well, and told your brother he could learn a lot from him. (He blushed).
Kageyama is oblivious to his upperclassmen’s feelings. (Everyone else picked up on it the moment you started talking to him).
You thought him being on the bench but still making an effort to be the loudest person cheering on his team was really attractive.
You started picking up Kageyama from practices after school (you really just wanted to talk to Suga).
You thought you were being obvious about your feelings but the Kageyama facial expression™ is genetic.
His pining was becoming too much for the team to the point where Tanaka thought you were already dating.
Eventually gets to Kageyama.
He’s a little upset that he was the last person to figure it out (that Hinata beat him to it) but besides that he doesn’t care at all.
He thinks it’ll benefit his volleyball career, too, so it’s a win-win for him.
Flat out tells you Sugawara has feelings for you.
Part of you already knew, but you were elated.
Asked him to walk you home one day when there wasn’t practice.
“So, my brother tells me someone on your team had a little crush on me.” You loved seeing him get flustered.
He’s upset because he was in the middle of organizing the perfect way of confessing to you.
You end up at a cafe a little while later talking.
Tanaka and Noya were not so secretly spying on you both. (They took a picture of you guys with the flash on).
You thought it was funny.
Suga wanted to explode.
He walks you home, and you kiss him gently before walking into your house.
Kageyama was grouchy the whole night. (He’ll come around).
Kept PDA very light whenever you were around people.
However he’s super touchy in private.
Like he needs to be in contact with you to some degree at all times.
Always laying on you during movies and falling asleep half way through them.
Stopped having Suga over so much because whenever you did Kageyama would come into your room to talk about volleyball. (And he doesn’t knock)
ASAHI
Opposites attract!
You took interest in him first (he didn’t think someone as pretty as you wouldn’t be intimidated by him).
(You weren’t).
Started with you asking him for help in class.
You were pretty outgoing and spoke to everyone so he was surprised you went out of your way to talk to him.
He’s a complete mess around you.
You thought it was sweet.
You’re making every move if you want anything to happen (but you knew that).
Nearly died when you showed up to one of his games.
Nearly did again when you were gushing about how incredible he played.
Actually died when you asked if you could wear his jersey to the next game.
Died again when you did, the jersey being much too big for you. Seeing you in his clothes distracted him almost the entire time.
You end up telling him you like him one morning nonchalantly in the hallway when he was walking to class with you.
Wasn’t sure if he imagined it with how quick you said it.
“You do know I like you, right?”
“U-uh what?”
He’s nervous around you for months, barely initiating anything until he’s sure he won’t make you uncomfortable by accident.
Likes to lay on your chest while you braid his hair.
Still blushes from casual PDA. (He’s always pleasantly surprised you want to show off your relationship)
You pick fights with anyone who gossips about him being an intimidating guy.
“It’s not him you have to worry about, it’s me. So why don’t you say that to my face.”
He’s desperately trying to defuse the situation, but he loves how you defend him.
NISHINOYA
Childhood friends to lovers!
You’ve known him your whole life, but moved away for a few years in middle school.
You moved back in your second year of high school, reuniting with Noya.
He was different, but exactly the same.
You were adamant to not catch feelings, but you couldn’t help it.
The moment you were in his life again, he stopped obsessing over other girls. He didn’t realize it right away, but he knew he didn’t want you to think he didn’t prioritize you.
Forced you to come to every practice so he could walk you home.
Lines of friendship and something more kept getting blurred.
Randomly grabbing your hand when he’s excited.
Possessive, he gets sad if you don’t pay attention to him for a long time.
Genuinely fights off other guys.
He still doesn’t realize he likes you until Tanaka points it out.
Immediately confesses to you.
Dating him wasn’t much different than being his best friend, only now you were more affectionate.
Constantly napping together.
Brags about you to everyone.
Carries a photo book of you because he couldn’t decide on one picture for his wallet.
TANAKA
Matchmaker gone wrong!
Originally was attempting to set him up with Kiyoko (your best friend), but she wasn’t interested.
You two started getting closer even after you told him you didn’t think their plan was going to work.
Was starting to feel like he was only befriending you to get closer to Kiyoko, but he made a lot of effort to hang out with you.
Realized he was catching feelings for you when he would start to look for you in the crowd after each point he scored.
Did a 180 and went to Kiyoko for advice.
You were a little worried when they started getting closer, but your best friend insisted she had no romantic feelings for him.
Ends up confessing to you after a game. (Kiyoko’s idea).
He kinda screams it at you.
You thought it was cute, you kissed him to shut him up.
Parades you around to the team.
He’s protective, but when guys tell him he did a good job scoring you, he’ll just rant about how lucky he is.
He’s obsessed.
Like, genuinely obsessed with you. He proposed at your graduation. You told him ask you again in five years.
He does.
You say yes.
KAGEYAMA
Enemies to friends to lovers!
You both played volleyball in middle school, and you won “Player of the year” over him.
Rivalry started from there.
The girls team practiced in the same gym as the boys did so you were always trying to outdo each other.
When you’d play each other for practice matches you both would play exceptionally dirty.
Ended up at Karasuno because you got injured.
Became a manager for the boys team since the girls team wasn’t as serious and didn’t have a manager.
Had a small fight on both of your first days because he refused to work as a team.
You two could not get along so for the sake of keeping your job as a manager you just ignored him usually.
One game, a few members of the other team had made a few comments about you.
Conveniently, one of Kageyama’s serves in warmups nailed the guy in the face.
Was the first time he made you laugh.
Thought about it for a week.
Tried to make amends with you by showing he was sorry (he couldn’t say it).
Would ask you for tips on how to connect with his team as well as his form.
Admitted he thought you were a better player than him one night, you told him you most likely wouldn’t be able to play again.
Asked him to play for you, placing your hand on top of his.
He almost kissed you that night but he didn’t know how to and panicked.
You wanted him to.
Ended up tutoring him and Hinata, he started going to you for individual help.
Was worried you’d think he’s stupid.
You thought his focused face was adorable.
You were obviously in your feelings for him, but he was adamant that you wouldn’t like someone who struggles showing his emotions so much.
He didn’t think he’d be good enough for you and that you deserved better.
However, the idea of you with anyone else made him so unbearably mad he started putting effort into becoming what you need.
He struggled, but all you cared about was the effort.
Extremely flustered whenever you showed any kind of appreciation towards him.
Like he completely freezes up if you even hug him.
He warms up to physical affection quickly, he loved it from you, he just didn’t know how to return it.
Always falling asleep on top of you on bus rides.
He snores. Not loudly they’re more like sleeping sounds, but you tell him he snores.
Clingy in private.
Loves holding you but loves being held just as much. (He’ll never admit that, though).
YAMAGUCHI
Best friend’s sibling/secret relationship!
Yamaguchi had a crush on you the second he saw you for the first time when he was over at Tsukishima’s house.
He was sleeping over for the first time, and you were heading to the kitchen for a 1am snack while he was leaving the bathroom.
He knew Tsukishima had a sibling, but he had no idea what you looked like. He had no idea you were that beautiful.
You invited him to the kitchen with you for some food, he obliged because he wanted to talk to you.
You knew he was quiet so you did most of the talking, asking him questions.
“Your freckles are really cute, I wish I had freckles.”
No one had told him that before.
He remembered that for months.
Tsukishima knew something was up right away, but he didn’t say anything to Yamaguchi.
He was more worried about you, so he told you to “leave his friends alone”.
You didn’t
You saw Yamaguchi in school occasionally, always going out of your way to say hi (when Tsukishima wasn’t there).
After beating Shiratorizawa, you texted him congratulations.
You both kept texting from there, then calling.
You started asking him for help with homework, claiming your brother was unhelpful (you knew the work).
You started meeting up at the library, both of you mutually deciding not to tell Tsukishima.
After a few weeks of longing stares and lingering touches, you caved.
He was explaining a math problem to you, you were practically shoulder to shoulder, and he looked so adorable trying to dumb down the equation.
You weren’t thinking, leaning in and placing a gentle kiss to his lips.
You pulled back, apologizing, but Yamaguchi had a shy smile on his face.
“Can you do that again?”
Kept it a secret, only meeting at his house. (His mother understood)
Tsukishima found out after walking in on you both making out while Yamaguchi was sleeping over.
“Do you want ice cream?”
He did not care.
Only told you to stay away from his friends because he didn’t think you liked Yamaguchi.
He trusted you both to be respectful and if things did end to keep it civil.
His only wish was he did not want to hear a thing about you from Yamaguchi.
He loves to cuddle with you.
He’ll initiate a lot more physical affection when you’re by yourselves, but in public he gets too nervous.
Doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable ever.
Also not huge on PDA.
Loves giving you forehead kisses.
Akiteru saw Yamaguchi with a hickey before he knew you were dating and congratulated him.
Akiteru did not know you were dating for months.
That wasn’t intentionally, everyone just forgot to tell him.
Tsukishima gave a legendary best man speech at your wedding.
TSUKISHIMA
Enemies to lovers!
The first day you met Tsukishima, you thought he was annoying and needed to be put in his place.
So, you did.
Any insult he said (whether it was directed at you or not) was retorted by you in seconds.
He didn’t expect that from you (it intoxicated him).
Being friends with Yamaguchi, you were almost always around.
He called you a pest.
You called him a loser.
And so on.
LOTS of tension.
Both of you always glaring (staring) at each other to the point all your friends think you’re together in some shape, way or form.
Both of you could not get the other out of each other’s head.
Both of you think it’s because the other is just so annoying.
Until Tsukishima has a dream about kissing you.
Now that’s all he can think about.
He starts ignoring you because he’s mad at his own feelings and he’s starting to feel like he has no self control around you.
You notice it immediately, he no longer picked on you or teased you at all.
Instead of being relieved like you thought you should be, you’re rather sad.
About a week goes by, and eventually your mutual friends are sick of all the sulking you’re both doing.
Force you to talk to each other.
Ends up in a shouting match.
You call him a coward, and it strikes something in him.
Mid rant, he cuts you off by kissing you.
You kiss him back, finish your argument and go back to kissing him.
“Go out with me?” He mumbles against your lips.
“How chivalrous of you.”
The arguing doesn’t stop now that you’re together, it just leads to other things.
Surprisingly, Tsukishima is extremely emotionally mature when it comes to you.
He doesn’t want to loose you.
You’re his soft spot.
Like it’s so obvious and he almost wants everyone to know it. (He’d never admit it)
Not very possessive unless you’re uncomfortable.
No one was surprised when you got together.
Neither of you are huge on PDA.
Maximum affection you’ll show in public is hand holding.
He uses you as a human armrest occasionally.
“Hates” when you steal his clothes (he leaves them out for you.
You get along well with Akiteru, he loves you.
He’s out like a light if you play with his hair.
Holds you like a stuffed animal to sleep (he can’t sleep any other way).
Surprisingly soft.
Doesn’t say “I love you” for a while, but he does things to show it before he does.
HINATA
Sunshine x sunshine protector!
You grew up as Hinata’s #1 fan.
Helped him with his volleyball skills in middle school and so on.
You were always be his side and it was the same with him.
You’ll tease him of course, but anyone who underestimated him or was insulting him had to deal with you.
Tanaka and Noya call you “Hinata’s girlfriend” (they just think that and no one corrected them).
Started dating by accident.
Hanging out as friends was turning into something else.
Constant hand holding as well as hugs.
Were each other’s first kiss because he “wanted to know what it felt like”.
Kept kissing after that.
Eventually he just starts introducing you as his girlfriend.
“Shoyo, you just told them I’m your girlfriend.”
“Yeah? What’s wrong?”
“You never asked me to be your girlfriend.”
“Oh my god I forgot.”
Chaos everywhere you go.
He’s your best friend and your boyfriend.
He’s always getting you things.
Invites you to every game (you were going either way).
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This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  MuseumGiftShopEraser! They have 9 works on AO3 in the Stranger Things Fandom, and 6 of those are in the Steddie tag!
Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @museumgiftshoperaser:
Paint the Devil on the Wall
Conversations About Love
Now I'm A Stranger
An Exercise In Denial
Baby, You Were Meant To Follow Me
Her fics are BEAUTIFUL. When I first read Paint the Devil on the Wall I was so obsessed I immediately recced the fic to everyone I knew who would be vaguely interested in a steddie fic. -- anonymous
Below the cut, @museumgiftshoperaser answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!
Why do you write Steddie?
I stumbled into it immediately after season 4 came out. I’ve felt very attached to Steve as a character from the beginning of the show and I think I was subconsciously waiting for someone to pair him up with. I think they’re both such great characters to explore themes of dealing with expectation (either by conforming, or fighting against it) and that’s something I always love to write about.
What’s your favorite trope to READ?
Absolute sucker for fake dating. Can’t get enough of it.
What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?
Enemies to lovers! Though now that I’m looking through my AO3 I haven’t actually written that much of it. It doesn’t have to be very intense enemies, though. I just like it when characters don’t immediately get along.
What’s your favorite Steddie fic?
My brain has been forever rewired by took you for a working boy by pukner. It’s such a gentle, nuanced queer story. It feels vulnerable to me in a way that really only fanfiction can be. Can I sneak in another one?? Because everyone should also absolutely read the shame is on the other side by scoops_ahoy. It taps into this very specific kind of queer compartmentalizing, that I’ve never seen written this well. It broke my heart and patched it right back up.
Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?
I’ve been stupidly busy with my masters lately so there’s probably not a lot of writing on my horizon. I do have a wip called Doll that I’m slowly chipping away at. It’s a little darker than stuff I’ve written before. I know ‘dark’ isn’t really a trope, but I’m excited to see if I can push these characters a little further. 
What is your writing process like?
Absolute chaos. I write non-chronologically, without an outline, all in the same document. I keep writing snippets and scenes until the whole thing slowly comes together. 
Do you have any writing quirks?
Italicizing words for emphasis. I love it so much, you can rip it from my cold dead hands. It accidentally makes its way into my academic writing for my degree sometimes which is a little embarrassing, but I just love the flair of it. 
Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?
I don’t really do schedules, it doesn’t work for me at all. I try to make sure I have a decent amount of the story written before I start posting to give me a bit of a head start, but forcing myself to finish something by a certain date is a surefire way to kill my motivation.
Which fic are you most proud of?
Probably Paint the Devil on the Wall. It was the first time I’d written the entire story before I started posting so it went through way more rounds of editing than normal. I think you can really tell. It’s also the longest story I’ve ever written (in general, even outside of fanfic). The whole project gave me a lot of confidence as a writer.
How did you get the idea for Paint the Devil on the Wall?
I knew I wanted to participate in the Bigbang and the deadline was coming up, but I still didn’t have an idea. I decided to work backwards and try to think of something that would be fun for the artist(s) to draw. I had a vision of Eddie wearing dungarees without a shirt, absolutely covered in paint and I knew I had to write something to make it happen. I set the story in 80s New York because neo expressionism is really the only kind of art I could see Eddie making. I think it suits him very well. I do actually have a background in art, though! I’m currently getting my MFA, but I’ve worked full time as an artist for several years before that. I had a lot of fun working my passion for art (and all those art history classes I had to take) into the fic.
When writing Paint the Devil on the Wall, what was something you didn’t expect?
All of Steve’s character, to be honest. The fic is written from Eddie’s POV and for a large part of it he has a very hard time figuring out what Steve’s deal is. Right alongside him, I also had an incredibly hard time figuring out his character. It wasn’t until I was working on the final chapter that he finally clicked for me. I realized very late, just like Eddie, that Steve liked him from the very beginning. Most of the enemies to lovers premise was all in Eddie’s head.
What inspired Now I'm a Stranger?
Oh boy, that was forever ago! I remember I started writing it while I was camping with friends because I liked having something to do after everyone went to bed at night. I think I had the idea for that very first scene where Steve doesn’t remember Eddie and it all sort of spiraled from there.
What was your favorite part to write from An Exercise in Denial?
That was the very first fic I wrote, right after season 4 came out! I’ve never written something that fast, I think the whole thing took me less than a week. My favorite part was probably Robin being completely exasperated with both of them. They’re such complete idiots in that fic.
How do/did you feel writing Baby, You Were Meant To Follow Me?
Ahhh… I never got around to finishing that one. I probably never will, to be honest. I wrote the first two parts quite quickly and then the idea I had for the plot spiraled out of control and I realized I didn’t actually feel like writing the rest of it. There were going to be a lot of misunderstandings and I learned that I find that an incredibly frustrating trope to write (when done for drama at least. For comedy, I’m a sucker for misunderstandings.) So I guess I felt a little in over my head.
What was the most difficult part of writing Conversations About Love?
The ending! That fic is so incredibly personal to me and I knew from the beginning that I wanted it to have a very sappy, happy ending. It was important to me to write an aromantic character getting everything they wanted, but I realized as I was writing it that I don’t actually fully know what that means. So it took a bit more soul searching than fics typically do, but it was very much worth it. 
Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?
I still think the short little prologue for Paint the Devil on the Wall is the best thing I’ve written. “You don’t draw on things that aren’t yours, baby” is probably the best summary I have for that story.
Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?
Not really!
Thank you to our author, @museumgiftshoperaser, and our anonymous nominator! See more of @museumgiftshoperaser works featured on our page throughout the day!
Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!
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cptnwynnieside · 9 months
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hmmm.... hm...
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yep. I'm gonna throw my self into the sea.
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maya-matlin · 4 months
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very UO but if they couldn’t bring back Jake, they should have stuck Peyton and Julian together as endgame over Leyton! Julian and Peyton had already supposedly been in love, they both like cities (LA, NYC etc) and it makes sense they’d live there due to their careers, and both Peyton and Julian for a lot of their time on the series seemed ambivalent about starting a family. Also, Julian is smart and on the introverted side like Lucas but a little goofy like Jake - a combination of the traits Payron goes for! Meanwhile, we saw so clearly in season 5 that Brooke and Lucas both loved being back in one tree hill, they both seem to have jobs they can do anywhere, they both very much prioritize settling down and having a family, they were already unofficially co-parenting Angie, they still have that seemingly effortless and magical connection, they balance each other out perfectly…I could go on!
Honestly, I wouldn't have minded that one bit. First of all, Peyton deserved a million times better than Lucas by the time he finally got around to choosing her. She was lacking any sort of spine or self respect when she ran to that airport. As irritating as I found her character for large stretches of season 5, ultimately she wasn't in the greatest place and only imagined that her happiness could be attainable if she won Lucas back. Now to get back to what you were saying. I definitely think Peyton was better off and would have thrived most living away from Tree Hill in a bigger city where her dreams could really take off. I mean, the show really said that because Peyton wasn't exactly where she wanted to be at age 22 that this made her a failure and retroactively meant her decision not to rush down the aisle at age 19 had been a terrible, awful, shameful mistake. Seasons 6 and 7 Julian would have made a lot of sense as a partner for the ambitious Peyton who had faced so much trauma and pain in her hometown. STRONGLY agreed about your points re: Peyton and Julian being ambivalent and sometimes even negative about settling down in Tree Hill compared to Brooke and Lucas who genuinely loved it there and couldn't imagine raising their families elsewhere. I'm aware every aspect of this was unintentional considering the possibility of a Brucas endgame post season 3 was basically taboo, but in terms of compatibility Brooke/Lucas and Peyton/Julian made the most sense. If we couldn't have Jake back for Peyton, obviously. In the end, Peyton still left Tree Hill, something Lucas never wanted. And Julian settled for staying in Tree Hill for Brooke even though he'd rather be in LA. Relationships are all about compromise, but it's interesting how their situations sort of parallel. You should go on, because I love reading your thoughts! I genuinely think if not for Peyton's continued interest in Lucas and Lucas having an unfortunate history of making the same mistakes over and over again, Lucas would have eventually ended up with Brooke. Season 5 Brucas had such an ease around each other. Their goals lined up perfectly. The chemistry was still there. Their communication was really solid and both went out of their way to emotionally support the other. Maybe it's because the pressure was off considering neither was expressing their feelings, but you see them taking care of Angie and the way Lucas considered proposing to Brooke and instinctively know that they could have had it all. It's really depressing.
#Anonymous#I know it was all for the sake of the cliffhanger but I'll never be over Lucas desperately wanting to marry someone and fantasizing about#his potential marriage to Brooke#Peyton and Lindsey make sense#Lucas literally almost married Lindsey and Peyton spent the entirety of season 5 chasing Lucas down expressing remorse over rejecting#his marriage proposal#Brooke was never technically his love interest at any point#They hadn't dated since the first episode of season 4 and the last time Lucas tried to make something happen in the flashback set between#seasons 4 and 5 Brooke turned him down#But they were taking care of Angie together and he was this emotional support for Brooke because it's exactly where he wanted to be#And I mean the airport scene where he shows up after Brooke said she could say goodbye to Angie on her own#Lucas clearly at least at the back of his mind was thinking about Brooke as a romantic prospect even if it was unspoken#I'll die on this hill especially since most fans decry the idea that Lucas was ever legitimately in love with someone besides Peyton#The fantasy was kind of bullshit because out of all of Lucas's possible wives Brooke is the only one who in reality would want to#live in Tree Hill permanently but it's like he needed to convince himself Brooke was all wrong for him as did Mark Schwahn#Like sorry you accidentally wrote them as perfect for each other for two seasons and then later had to walk it back with poor writing#And felt Peyton should give up any sort of independence and free thinking to be right for Lucas#Ignore this because these tags are a mess
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gatun-gatunesco · 8 months
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Fleabag
"People make mistakes... that is why they put a rubbers in the end of pencils"
#personal post#So i kind of forced myself to finish Fleabag season 1. Since the beginning i knew was not something i would see for pleasure#of course was very difficult as 1) i have become sex repulsed once again and 2) she is really fucked up. She needs a terapist#it was a recomendation from them and i knew i just see them in the character facing similar problems and similar way of thinking#the last episode hurts a lot and hurts me more after what happened between us. the decisions they made. the way it ended again#i know they wanted to talk about this. i shame myself once again as i was so late to do so. But yet again. i was right about my fears#about how i saw them reflected in her. how they were taking a similar bad road in life. how they mental illness was going to mess up all#after what happened with him. how they did not said anything. how they just give it all to please him and make a nice memory for him#after how they let him just go full gallop and basically let him use them in the most vulnerable moment so far...#i can only wish they learn. that they realize. that they finally could apply something from the life of another person. even if is fiction#after finishing this season. i can understand and let the anger that i had in me vanished just as fast as it came#but the sadness will remain. the event will remain. the need for me to stay away will remain. i can not help them anymore#it will only hurt me not being able to help. to feel powerless meanwhile i just see them going a downfall. mistake after mistake#i could not bear to see the person i cared the most being that fucked up and not try to help. but i already did that mistake. it finished u#my role as a caregiver is still so mixed within myself. as since my mistakes i would not force nor try anything without them doing it first#so. for them that are indecisive yet impulsive. that are people pleaser even when it hurt them deeply. naive with a gold heart#that want to be friends with all as they feel so lonely. Prisoners of they body and themselfs...#going that softly versus everyone else who is more assertive (even them in a impulsive moment) was not going to work just with words#but i can not do it in another way. i am more sensitive and delicate than one could guess just by looking at me. is not in my nature#forceful? nope. without caution? no. fast? no. i can not hold anger. i can not be unforgiving. Even when i always remember#i can still do damage. just not in a convetional way and is mostly involuntary. i am far from perfect but i am also far from terrible#i am a person who also had done mistakes. But being honest. excepting one i never did something so bad i could not forgive myself eventuall#and i say all this because even with all the pain that is forcing myself to stay away. i just hope they could find a healthy road again...#without the need to make more mistakes or do such things that they may not be able to fix or came back at all...#for them to not regret still being alive. to be happy in a good way without destroying themselfs#i just hope i can be able to see that one day. even if is just from far away and as a total stranger#because i like thing no one else would see and enjoy they beauty in they own unique way#vent post#vent tag#tw vent
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woolydemon · 1 year
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rereading this ninja.go fic wip I have and god I need to finish this it's good
#i think it's good at least#its a nya/pixal fic from the perspective of pixal and ogh i forgot how much i was digging this shit#i am still digging it#its a robot girl that gained the ability to love but then couldnt act on those feelings when she was stuck as an ai program and mwah#the yearning is palable#i swear i was intensely facisnated by this concept when i was first rewatching the show#& it gets to the part where nya encounters her as samurai x#AND PIXAL. QUOTES NYA. SHE LITERALLY QUOTES HER ''a girls gotta have her secrets''#and u know what. nya says that line during their first encounter with each other after pixal becomes sentient#she. internalized that this whole time LIKE ARE U KIDDING ME do u know what that fact did to my brain structure#makes me insane. the romance between these lego girls can mean something so personal#and i realize how batshit i sound now that i acknowledge thta theyre legos akdgdkhclchclcjc#ok but. consider this. lesbian robot :] thats pretty sick dawg#i havent caught up to the seasons past s13 though so if theres more samuraiship moments pls let me know its so important to me#but i am also scared that something in those new seasons might fuck up my mostly canon compliance that i have in my fic so far#so i am looking away atm#but i might give into temptation for the lava moments ive been hearing are in those new seasons. girl i love lavaship those are my boys#ok thats the ninja.go thoughts i have until i inevitably give into the lego brain disease again one day. it will happen#rando thoughtz
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inkskinned · 5 months
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it is the first snow today. i think we should all have off work, even though it didn't stick. i think there should be 4 national holidays, one for each season. happy first snow, go home and make cookies. for spring it can be the first crocus. for summer the first lightning bug. for autumn, the first golden leaf. go home, kiss your dog, feed your cat (who is absolutely already-fed but somehow still starving.)
i think we should all take more showers together, but i mean that in the soft way. i mean it like taking a nap. two years ago i had 5 adult friends in my queen bed, all of us laying across each other, head over belly over thigh over hand. any time one of us would giggle, it would ripple over each of us, like pulling on a spiderweb. kim actually needed to nap and didn't get to sleep and i am still sorry for it even though this is one of my most precious memories.
i think we should all wash each other's hair, i mean. i walk my dog and i watch someone put up twinkle lights around their front porch. alex and i just moved, and i love the neighborhood. already so many of our new neighbors have stopped by to say hello. the nice lady downstairs also collects plants, like me. she gave us her number on a pink post-it note. i am trying to decide whether to make her cookies or brownies.
i am going through a very hard time. something bad happened this weekend that i do not wish to discuss. it is hanging over me. i think of the green ribbon, and the woman who had her throat cut. it feels like that sometimes, inside of my body. like i am walking and talking despite being half-corpsed. like i am hanging on by a ribbon, standing on some kind of cusp. i keep saying - at least it wasn't worse. we are so lucky it wasn't worse. the idea is river-rock smooth now, all the edges worried off.
in this very dark night - the sun sets by 3 now - people don't need to, but they try anyway. they paint the missing light into things. i have an embarrassing number of missed calls and texts, but i feel the love from them nevertheless - hey. if you need something, i'm here. i will bring you food/puzzles/anything. i got you.
i think we should all have a big group chat where we do errands with strangers. this week i got lost in a home depot, which is wild because i'm a lesbian and we are actually hatched in a lowe's lumber section. there were two other women in the whole store. we ended up shopping together, at first by accident (we all needed things in the same aisle), and then because, well, why not. one of the ladies was taller than me, so she pulled down the screws i needed. i am agile and have the personality of a raccoon, so they sent me after anything below 3 feet. we talked about holiday plans and never learned each other's names, but did learn all the drama about each other's families.
i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too.
my parents drive an hour just to see the new apartment and to do the parent thing; standing in the kitchen saying things like "oh you'll get so much use from this dishwasher" and "well, you could paint that" and "when your mother and i moved it was uphill both ways and in a snowstorm and of course your brother was an infant." my mother brought me a plant for housewarming. i always say i love you before she leaves.
i play dnd on tuesdays still, after all these years. we all keep that night free. at one point, between grad school and marriage and all of it, we had to have a serious discussion about how to keep it running. we will keep going, we decided eventually. just to see each other, even if we don't play - you are all important to me. sebastian is not prone to affection but last night he stole my usual sign off - i love you all, be good, he said. he was laughing.
i don't love the winter, actually. i like snow in theory, but i grew up in the north, and am too-familiar with the season of "mud and sludge". i don't like being cold. but i do love something kind of soft and rare: every year around this time, people remember oh yes. you and i are human together. and i have love to spare.
it is the first snow, and something in my heart is finally warm again. i have spent what felt like the last 18 months just going-through-the-motions. it has felt blank and immediate, like i would never actually feel again. that sounds extremely trite and stupid - but that is the boring and familiar experience of depression. life just washes up against your windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and affecting, and it just whispers too-thin. i was desperately uncreative. uninterested in my hobbies. unimpressed by my writing. i told my therapist, often, i don't know how to find hope again.
almost sheepishly, something strange and lovely is burning in my chest. i keep not-looking at it, worried it will scamper back into the shadows again. it is skittish and wild, but it is so warm i want to sink my hands into its fur and feel it breathing. i love-hate it: if it's real, it can hurt me when it leaves again. but i am icarus-born, sun-lover and poet: i can't help myself. despite my best intentions, i am falling in love with life again.
i am planning to make cookies for my friends. alex and i are going to go christmas tree shopping. we picked out matching dish towels last night, and they have little mushrooms on them.
i love you. it does come back. yes, even after a long time. even for you. i promise. keep trying. you will wake up and it will be a day you can smile about.
write me when you get there. we will take the day off of work, and i will wash your hair, and we will both be laughing.
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