Tumgik
#my role as a caregiver is still so mixed within myself. as since my mistakes i would not force nor try anything without them doing it first
gatun-gatunesco · 8 months
Text
Fleabag
"People make mistakes... that is why they put a rubbers in the end of pencils"
#personal post#So i kind of forced myself to finish Fleabag season 1. Since the beginning i knew was not something i would see for pleasure#of course was very difficult as 1) i have become sex repulsed once again and 2) she is really fucked up. She needs a terapist#it was a recomendation from them and i knew i just see them in the character facing similar problems and similar way of thinking#the last episode hurts a lot and hurts me more after what happened between us. the decisions they made. the way it ended again#i know they wanted to talk about this. i shame myself once again as i was so late to do so. But yet again. i was right about my fears#about how i saw them reflected in her. how they were taking a similar bad road in life. how they mental illness was going to mess up all#after what happened with him. how they did not said anything. how they just give it all to please him and make a nice memory for him#after how they let him just go full gallop and basically let him use them in the most vulnerable moment so far...#i can only wish they learn. that they realize. that they finally could apply something from the life of another person. even if is fiction#after finishing this season. i can understand and let the anger that i had in me vanished just as fast as it came#but the sadness will remain. the event will remain. the need for me to stay away will remain. i can not help them anymore#it will only hurt me not being able to help. to feel powerless meanwhile i just see them going a downfall. mistake after mistake#i could not bear to see the person i cared the most being that fucked up and not try to help. but i already did that mistake. it finished u#my role as a caregiver is still so mixed within myself. as since my mistakes i would not force nor try anything without them doing it first#so. for them that are indecisive yet impulsive. that are people pleaser even when it hurt them deeply. naive with a gold heart#that want to be friends with all as they feel so lonely. Prisoners of they body and themselfs...#going that softly versus everyone else who is more assertive (even them in a impulsive moment) was not going to work just with words#but i can not do it in another way. i am more sensitive and delicate than one could guess just by looking at me. is not in my nature#forceful? nope. without caution? no. fast? no. i can not hold anger. i can not be unforgiving. Even when i always remember#i can still do damage. just not in a convetional way and is mostly involuntary. i am far from perfect but i am also far from terrible#i am a person who also had done mistakes. But being honest. excepting one i never did something so bad i could not forgive myself eventuall#and i say all this because even with all the pain that is forcing myself to stay away. i just hope they could find a healthy road again...#without the need to make more mistakes or do such things that they may not be able to fix or came back at all...#for them to not regret still being alive. to be happy in a good way without destroying themselfs#i just hope i can be able to see that one day. even if is just from far away and as a total stranger#because i like thing no one else would see and enjoy they beauty in they own unique way#vent post#vent tag#tw vent
2 notes · View notes
the-gay-in-the-way · 6 years
Text
Anime but with Thomas and the Sides.
What it says on the tin.
It’s late, I’m tired, I’m not in my house, it’s dark, and I just finished rewatching Pretear with my siblings for the fiftieth time in my life after going to a GAAM anime event.
So I’m thinking about anime and I’m(always)thinking about the sides and Thomas.
So now I’m gonna talk about all of my crap ideas cus my sister doesn’t use her AC, we live in Florida, and I can’t sleep when I’m sweating buckets.
I wasn’t gonna make a post about this originally because I figured no one would care but someone recently mentioned it and I gave Andy some shoujo recs recently and Thomas has made videos about anime so I realized that I was being dumb and could literally just talk about this without worrying too much.
I also figured I wouldn’t make a post about it cus my ideas are crap.
But now it’s late and I don’t really care and I really wanna talk about this, even if it’s just to myself via text format, so I’m making this post while trying to ignore the sounds of my drunk sister doing terrible things in the room next to mine.
So, starting from what I literally just thought of because of what I literally just watched.
Pretear
It’s a terrible but great old anime about a girl who has to save the world by “fusing” with these handsome guys who are sworn to save the world from, basically, an evil witch.
I would recommend it if you like classic anime and/or magical girl stuff and/or reverse harems.
I watched it as a kid with my sisters so many times that I have the entire opening and ending sequences memorized and can give you an exact play by play of what happens in the entire series.
And, honestly, I find a lot of the premises within it pretty interesting.
The fusing thing is pretty neat.
Although it doesn’t change the appearance of the girl who “Pretes” with the guy, it conjures up a pretty cool, in my opinion, outfit and, sometimes, a weapon for her to use.
Also, the way that the “Knights”(that’s what the guys are called) work is actually quite fascinating and makes me wish there was more stuff written and animated for them.
For one, there is a sort of system of recreating the Knights when one of them dies.
For another, their abilities are quite cool, when you get past some of the weaker parts.
And there are just so many cool things you can do with them as a storyteller.
So here’s what I was thinking.
All of the sides are knights while Thomas is the Pretear.
One thing about Pretear is that it says the Pretear must be female.
But, as is the case with most rules in anime, this doesn’t necessarily have to be the case.
What if a Pretear turned out to be male.
Specifically, what if the Pretear was Thomas, who’s just trying to live his best life as a youtuber/ex-viner.
And what if the handsome guys who showed up to turn him into the Pretear where the sides we all know and love but Thomas had never met before.
And there are seven of them guys!
Seven Knights and, eventually, seven sides!
That’s an awesome coincidence.
But, without worrying about that, I’m mostly just thinking of what it would be like for Thomas to be the Pretear with all of the current sides as the Knights.
We could keep it with something more along the lines of the main elements, taking away the original extras of light and ice.
So each of the sides would be either fire, wind, earth, water, or sound.(because sound is an awesome element and you probably already know who I want to give it to.(especially because Sasame’s voice from the anime dub was hecking gorgeous and I absolutely love Virgil’s voice and want him to have this.))
Roman would be fire, of course.
Patton would be earth, because there are some abilities that Shin has as the Knight of Earth that make me think of Patton’s usual role as the sort of father and caregiver and stuff.
And the earth element is portrayed as something very soft and gentle in the series and it really feels appropriate for Patton.
Logan would be water, because I feel like it suits him in a way and I imagine that he would have something like a combination of water and ice since they’re so close and I took out the element.
Deceit would be wind, because he suits the sharpness of the element as it’s portrayed in the anime and he also suits Hayate because Hayate is a lying tsundere who lies so yeah.
And Virgil would, of course, be sound, because there are so many parallels between him and Sasame that it’s kind of ridiculous.
And I am going to list them now so, spoiler alert, I guess.
Their voices can make people faint from their beauty, I’m not kidding.
Sasame acts all cool and calm and okay with things but is internally filled with turmoil.
He has a tendency to be the voice of reason within the Knights, and I think Virgil has a tendency to be the same with Thomas and the sides.
Sasame is riddled with guilt from his past mistakes and is determined to make up for them.
But he makes up for them by doing the absolute worst thing possible and ends up breaking everyone’s hearts by trying to leave them. I’m not kidding about this either. This is a thing both of them did.
But then he gets his redemption at the end and everyone accepts him for who he really is.
Seriously, they are uncannily similar.
It’s kind of hilarious.
So, yeah.
Those are my basic thoughts on this.
Go watch Pretear.
It’s terrible and great and kind of dumb.
But I love it anyways.
Even tho, of course, it would be better if it where gayer.
Moving on!
Natsume's Book of Friends/Natsume Yuujinchou
This is my all time favorite anime.
I have watched the entire first four seasons over ten times now and all six seasons together three times since the new seasons came out.
I love this series more than anything in the world and would absolutely die for Natsume Takashi.(Just like Tanuma.(And literally everyone else.))
In it, a high school boy moves into the home of his new foster parents who happen to live in the town his grandmother used to live in.
He can see yokai while most people cannot and that leads to him being attacked by a bunch of them who think he’s actually his grandmother, who could also see yokai.
He finds out from them that his grandmother used to take the names of yokai she defeated in battle, which would turn them into her servants, and put them in a book she called “The Book of Friends”.
Natsume realizes that he has the book and decides to try and return all of the names in it to all of the yokai they belong to.
The yokai who told him about the book, and whom attacked him in order to get it from him before Natsume punched him and made him stop, decides to help him with this task by becoming his bodyguard and teaching him about yokai and the book in exchange for Natsume giving him the book should he die before emptying it.
Basically, a troubled boy tries to make up for the mistakes of his long dead grandmother, with the help of a very strong yokai disguised as a Maneki Neko/Lucky Cat, and ends up developing as a person over time as he makes friends with both humans and yokai alike and learns what it feels like to actually be a part of a family.
I will recommend it to anyone who likes supernatural slice of life’s and/or really good character development being the focus and/or lots of platonic love and/or just anyone who’s willing to listen to me because it’s hecking beautiful and I want everyone to know about it because it deserves the acknowledgement.
So, I was thinking about this recently while rewatching it once again.
What if Thomas was in Natsume’s place.
What if Thomas could see yokai but couldn’t tell anyone about it.
What if Thomas had a grandmother(His aunt Patty or something just cus that’s hilarious.)who could also see them.
What if Natsume inherited the book she filled with the names of yokai.
And what if he ended up deciding to return them with the help of a yokai bodyguard.
I’m very happy to have this thought.
The two are both the sweetest of beans and I love them dearly.
So I think it’s pretty appropriate.
Also, because I’m a sucker for it, a protective Virgil as a giant yokai dog disguised as a cat figurine is something that I would hecking live for.
Protective Virgil is basically my aesthetic at this point so this idea is perfect for me.
But then, also consider this.
Talyn and Joan as Kitamoto and Nishimura, respectively.(The best friends that don’t know about Natsume’s ability to see yokai but love him and all of his weird quirks anyways.)
Logan as Tanuma.(The friend who can’t see yokai but can still sense them and is, as such, allowed to know about Natsume’s secrets involving them and even help out when Natsume needs it.)
Patton as Taki.(The friend who can’t see or sense yokai but knows a lot about them and can basically use spells and equipment to deal with them and help out Natsume as well.)
Deceit as Natori.(The exorcist who can also see yokai but hates them and befriends Natsume while also trying to trick him into becoming an exorcist as well.)
Roman as one of the Dog’s Circle,(A group of yokai who befriended Natsume and are determined to help him whenever he needs them to.(He’d probably be someone like Hinoe, but with different abilities and things. I’d rather not be as specific with his role because I think he’d be better as his own sort of mythical being who befriends Thomas.))
And, because this needs repeating, Virgil as hecking Nyanko-Sensei.(The strong wolf/dog yokai sealed within the body of a cat figurine who becomes Natsume’s bodyguard because he wants the Book of Friends but eventually just protects him to the point of FACING LITERAL GODS because he cares about him.(Even tho he refuses to acknowledge it.))
Oh my god!
You guys have no idea how much I personally love this!
This entire thought process gives me life!
Especially when I think about all the fun stuff you can do with different mythologies and stuff!
As a fanfic or something this doesn’t have to take place in Japan.
This could just be in a nondescript universe where all the world, and it’s mythologies, are mixed.
So Thomas could meet greek and roman gods or old legends, like the headless horseman, and new legends, like slender man.
There could be crossovers from completely different fandoms that involve mythology.
It could be amazing!
I love this idea, so hecking much!
You guys seriously have no idea.
So, yeah, those are a couple of my anime rambles involving Thomas and the Sides.
I have more.
I have many many many more.
But I’m gonna stop here cus I’m quickly losing the fight to stay awake, which is a good thing cus I’m tired and should sleep so that I can stay awake for all of the stuff happening tomorrow, so I’m gonna go ahead and let myself rest.
Goodnight, hope you don’t mind my rambles, and you should seriously check out these anime.
Natsume Yuujinchou, especially.
It’s amazing.
I’m not kidding.
It’s the best thing.
I cry from it’s beauty every episode.
I’m not even kidding.
So, yeah.
Check it out and be blessed.
25 notes · View notes