#DID YOU NOTICE THAT LIZZO IS FAT? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lightandwinged · 11 months

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So I have to rant about a health thing and it's related to dieting and weight loss/things around that, so if that's a triggering subject for you, either ignore this or if you really want to read it, read with knowledge that this is the subject matter at hand.

You see, I entered my medical group's nonsurgical bariatric program this month.

This isn't something I was planning on doing just yet, mostly because I believe firmly that physical health and mental health go hand-in-hand, and while I do want to get my physical health figured out, I'm trying to blow apart the kinks with my mental health right now, which is a process. I'm doing EMDR to work through some fucked up traumatic memories, and it's working wonders, but it's exhausting and hard work.

BUT then I went in to my primary because my ability to have an orgasm has dwindled to near zero in recent months. And not going into too much detail about that, but considering my history of spinal injury, that's a huge red flag, so my primary for once got really alarmed when I told her something and asked me to come in.

My primary is not very good with fat people. I've had primaries who are good with fat people, who've sort of said, "yeah, your BMI isn't where I'm supposed to say it is, but you're otherwise perfectly healthy, so let's talk about what you came in here for today," and they're great. This primary... well, she hears out my complaint but wants to mostly focus on my weight the whole time. Like as little as possible on the complaint (e.g., "that spot looks like a mole, so here's a referral to the dermatologist. Now, they did weigh you when you came in, and I noticed that...") and most of it on my weight. It's annoying.

And this time was no exception. She's concerned about my migraines and loss of sensation, so she gave me referrals to neurology and PT and then we started talking about my weight. She asked if I still drank Dr. Pepper (which I was like, "yeah, but I'm not fucking him, so what does this have to do with my orgasms?") and then offered to refer me to the practice's nonsurgical bariatric program, and I said sure, because I wanted her to leave me alone.

And so far, it's not great. The advice they have for weight loss is the kind of shit you can find on any Reddit thread about Lizzo. It's the kind of bland, soulless one-size-fits-all diet approach that I could get without subjecting myself to copays--shit like "aim for no more than 1200-1500 calories a day and exercise at least 150 minutes a week" which literally, you google "diet" and there it is, that exact advice.

And it's not what I want. I know that I have issues with food. I stress eat, and I eat my safe foods in order to keep some semblance of order in my chaotic life. I've developed a fear of wasting food for some reason (it never used to exist; I used to be like "mm, two bites was enough noodle"), and so I tend to wolf down way more food than I should because I don't want to throw any away, especially if it's something I really like. Being autistic, I have very beige safe foods because the foods that are the same taste and temperature every time tend to be beige and super processed. My relationship with vegetables and fruits is fraught. And though I've never LIKED doing a lot of moving around (and living on a hill that's at a 45 degree angle doesn't help that), the trauma of my spinal injury really made it terrifying for me, like if I do too much in the wrong way, I'll be screaming for my life in the back of an ambulance again.

In other words, I know what my issues are. And what I want is to have a healthy relationship with food. I want to eat for the joy of it, not for a hit of dopamine or to wolf down a plate of pasta carbonara bigger than my face because I'm afraid of it being wasted. I want to enjoy the flavors of the foods I eat and savor them and embrace everything that food is besides fuel: it's joy, it's community, it's art, it's culture. I want to feel the way I've felt when eating a new dish so very often. I want to embrace vegetables and fruits. And I want to move. I want to hike all the gorgeous paths nearby. I want to dance without getting super tired. I want to walk around the city without hurting.

But this program.

They gave us a handbook, and the moralization of food is just. Everywhere. Salmon good. Kale good. Egg good. But god forbid you have a slice of cake at a coworker's birthday party. The handbook writes about it, "too bad about the cake, but you'll do better the rest of the day." When we had group therapy the other day, two participants had just gone on vacation and were beating themselves up for not eating "good" on vacation (not "well" because eating well and eating good are two different things). They kept lamenting how they were bad for eating at restaurants because they couldn't control what was in the food, and I was like... if we were all way thinner, our therapist would be telling us to stop sweating it, so wtf?

But instead, the therapist talked about whether this was a "lapse" in judgment or a "relapse" into eating bad. And I do get that food is an addiction in a lot of times and that learning to not binge eat or eat mindlessly is very important. I'm working on mindful eating myself. But lord almighty, I'm not going to self flagellate over going to a nice restaurant on vacation because I couldn't see how much salt was going in the dish. For me, the victory on vacation would be having that dish I couldn't control because I wouldn't know what was in it and trying something new and maybe even liking it.

I just. nngh. I don't love being fat. I miss buying straight size clothes and not feeling like I take up too much space and not feeling like my ass needs a "wide load" sign on it. But if I lose weight, I want it to be from a healthy and sustainable place, not from a place of hyper control. I have negative interest in weighing myself every day, as they suggest. I have negative interest in even thinking about losing weight when I travel. I want a healthy relationship with food, but this isn't it, not by a long shot.

#abby's physical health #adventures in bariatric BS #diet culture #weight loss culture #disordered eating is cool if you're fat!#because if you're fat you don't get to have food!#you just get rice cakes and a treadmill and a tiny jillian michaels #sitting on your shoulder and screaming that you are worthless #yay!

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cornwaiidesu · 1 year

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a lot of people's parents always fuck them up growing up that's common and mine sure did too but my dad has a special place for the shitty brain worms he gave me.

it's one thing that my mother and step-mother care too much about their looks because they are women and have the whole world telling them they look wrong, and it's even worse when they married my dad who puts so much value on women's looks. he had such an opportunity to grow. he has such strong willed and feminist daughters and he still won't listen and still will talk to his black daughter about how much he hates black folks and black women in particular because he's such an edgy pick-me uncle fucking tom.

i have a lovely boyfriend who tells me every day how pretty I am and I even have strangers tell me occasionally that I'm beautiful, and my dad does too, but then he'll turn around and talk about how stupid and ghetto Megan and Lizzo and the like are.

he's said to my face he wishes he could punch certain black women in their mouths. that black women are all such bitches. that all the African girls at his nursing home are fucking idiots. that he likes Nicki's body but hates her voice and attitude. like. GOD.

I hate it and I hate him and I hate myself for even caring so much about what he says but how can I not? he's my dad. I have to help take care of him. and I feel so worthless. 🙃 like I'd be the fat stupid bitchy fucking idiot black girl he'd love to punch in the mouth if I weren't his kid and weren't graced with some of my mother's white features like her nose. I'd never pass as white these days but I am lighter skinned and maybe if I were as dark as him he wouldn't think I was as pretty as all his white nieces he gushes over because theyre so beautiful.

I look at myself in the mirror and think "golly I feel so bad for Robert that I'm so ugly and not worth showing off." cuz all dad ever does is brag about how pretty and petite my stepmom is. he loves his white in-laws so much more than his black blood relatives. he never talks about my blood cousins, he still hates his dead mother, and only thought of my grandpa fondly after he died. and notice grandma didn't get the same mercy!!! :D I know no one should be obligated to like their parents, just look at me, but also my grandma wasn't Satan. the rest of us found the good in her and loved her.

dad clearly has deep deep fucking seeded internalized racism but if you ever pointed it out he'd either wear the badge with pride or if it was ME who pointed it out BECAUSE I HAVE he weeps and sobs and is inconsolable because it hurts his heart that I'd ever be ashamed or disappointed in him. it's not fair. he's manipulative.

he hates his mother so much and he acts just like her. imma call his dumb ass black tony soprano and he'd probably take it as a fucking compliment.

tldr; literally no one could ever convince me otherwise that I'm not a fucking ugly pig monster because dad has called women even more beautiful than me the same because he hates himself too.

#rant #ignore me #delete later

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keyki421 · 2 years

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Did any of y'all notice how mad a lot of black men got when Doja Cat got in shape?

The crazy thing is according to many of these black men rights influencers, black women are all fat and lazy. Yet, when a black woman loses weight, they also complain. This is because the body that they want black women to all have is unrealistic. They want a flat stomach, big boobs and a big ass. You can never please these men. If Lizzo was to lose weight, she would still be criticized. They would say she lost her ass and boobs. They would say she is too small now. Most black men are attracted to a plastic surgery body and they simply won't admit it.

This criticism only ever applies to black women as well. Kevin Samuels made a living off of shaming fat black women, only to die with an Asian Pacific fat woman.

#doja cat #black men #kevin samuels

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love-advice-on-call · 1 year

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Hi Brian! My name is Olivia and I have a huge crush on this guy, but he is very quiet, always sits alone in class, hangs around by himself on breaks and is the first out the door when the bell rings. People say he's obsessed about soccer, always talking about soccer. And I've noticed he really likes anime. I enjoy soccer and anime, but not enough to keep a conversation about it with him. And I'm extremely shy and insecure, and have close to no self-esteem. I've messaged him a couple times but it's always about exams and such. He's fit and I'm fat and I think I'm at least ten years older than him (I'm 33 and he's around 22). I have never been with anyone and it makes me feel pathetic. I don't think anyone has ever liked me. I just think I'm going to make a fool out of myself and then I could never go back to class. I guess I'm asking for advice on how to approach him, make him notice me. Thank you in advance!

Hi Olivia! Cool, I literally just decided to put my name in the About recently so it's nice to see that you read it.

You enjoy soccer and anime, but it's that you don't KNOW if you can hold a conversation with him about it. It's not that you can't. Sometimes people love things and that is what can make those topics the best to talk about. Because he likes soccer and anime, you can always explore what it is he really enjoys about it. What his favorite team/player is, why, maybe what he likes about anime, how did he get into doing soccer, etc. Possibilities are endless and people always enjoy talking about their favorite topics. Of course this can be difficult if you are a bit shy.

Look, if you're afraid of making a fool of yourself, I think that's okay. Everyone is, and they especially are afraid when it comes down to talking to someone they are interested in dating. I think if you are afraid of getting out there, then the best thing you can do is practice talking to people for starters.

If you are afraid of what talking to this guy could do for your class, then maybe you can try doing something a bit softer first and work up to eventually talking to him. A very low stakes start is online dating so maybe you can try making a profile. Seeing if you can meet some people there first just as practice before talking to him.

Fair warning, event he most attractive people dread online dating and what it does to your self-esteem, but if you want a modern way to get your feet wet on dating and are a bit overwhelmed to try meeting people in person, then this is a great place to start. You can refer to this post on how to make a dating profile:

If online dating isn't your thing, then your alternative is to find people in person. Which is actually easier than people think. Now a days, you can meet people at any common interest group. Maybe find a hobby you like and find other people who do it. Maybe go to trivia nights alone and see if you can join a random team and meet anyone there. Folks are really into this kind of stuff now a days and they'll be friendlier than you think. It can be daunting at first though, but you will get the hang of it.

A last bit of advice. A person is only as attractive as their personality. Lizzo for example goes against conventional beauty standards but is highly regarded as a goddess because she simply tells people she is hot and walks the walk. So there is nothing more attractive then someone being confident with their body. She simply did that.

April 24, 2023

#advice #love advice #relationship help #relationships

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pashterlengkap · 1 year

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Lesbian shop owners allegedly forced out of town by anti-LGBTQ+ harassment

A lesbian couple has closed their shop in a small Florida town after allegedly enduring repeated harassment, including anti-LGBTQ+ comments from a town commissioner. Joy Drawdy says that she and her wife were initially welcomed by the community when this past June in Micanopy, Florida, they opened Restless Mommas, which sold clothes and crafts made by LGBTQ+ artists and people of color. But Drawdy told University of Florida student paper The Independent Florida Alligator that they quickly became uneasy. @restlessmommas #duet with @dbjess #roevwade #lgbt #resist #alphabetmafia #queer ♬ About Damn Time – Lizzo Soon after opening, they were informed by the shop’s landlord of a letter from the town commission demanding they remove a Pride flag displayed outside the building, calling it a violation of local zoning ordinances. They later learned from friends and customers that Micanopy Commissioner Mike Roberts had allegedly made derogatory comments about their sexuality. As The Alligator reports, Roberts has a history of posting anti-LGBTQ+ sentiments on social media. “I just feel sorry for those people. A eternity in Hell is their reward [sic]. God please have mercy on their souls,” Roberts posted on Facebook in 2012. In 2013, he responded to an article about a father’s message of support to his gay son. “This all sounds good to read and get warm fuzzy feelings, but the fact of the matter is being Homosexual is a sin,” Roberts wrote. “Sin will take you to the pits of Hell. A loving father will tell his son the truth about his sin.” “In such a small town, we couldn’t escape. We couldn’t do business,” Drawdy said of learning about Roberts’s comments from roughly 30 Micanopy residents. “It was all anybody was talking about.” In the weeks that followed, Drawdy said that trucks would pull up in front of the shop, rev their engines, and then skid away. She also began noticing spiteful comments on Facebook. Feeling threatened and fearing for her family’s safety, Drawdy and other business owners took up the issue with Town Administrator Sara Owen, who told them the issue would be addressed at the Town Commission meeting on January 10. But Drawdy said that Owen soon stopped returning her calls. Ahead of the Jan. 10 meeting, Drawdy’s neighbor was told that Roberts’s alleged comments would not be on the formal agenda, as town leaders did not consider it a town issue. Ahead of the meeting, the Drawdys decided to close Restless Mamas and move their unsold inventory to another shop they own in Gainesville, Florida. The town commission’s refusal to address the issue, she said, “was our last breath.” Still, many supporters packed the Jan. 10 meeting. “To have two women invest in a business in this town — that helps us all — be discriminated against because they’re gay is not OK,” Micanopy resident Deborah Hart said during public comments. Roberts claimed that his comments were misunderstood, saying he merely referred to the Drawdys as “the two lesbian women who bought a business downtown.” Owens claimed that the issue was left off the meeting’s agenda because Roberts was “acting in his personal capacity” when he made the alleged comments. When attorney and local business owner Holiday Russell suggested voluntary discrimination sensitivity training for town commissioners, Roberts reportedly took issue. “You know the most discriminated person sitting in this room?” Roberts asked. “[They are] disliked by whites, Blacks, reds and yellows — [it’s] the fat people of this world.” “I didn’t come in here and identify [him] as the fat commissioner,” Russell said following the meeting. “In my view, he doesn’t get it… If it’s not intentional, then he’s ignorant.” http://dlvr.it/ShRLB6

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homosociallyyours · 3 years

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Nosy meme: 2, 6, 12, 13, 19, 20, 22, 29, 33, 47, 50. 💜

OMG thank you Brynn!! So many questions to answer :) I’m putting it under a cut bc I know it’s gonna get long...AND YES IT DID.

2) What are you obsessed with right now? Below Deck, this ridiculous Bravo show that follows a charter yacht through an 8 week season of trips. It’s dramatic and full of wealthy people like most Bravo shows, BUT it’s also following the people who staff the boat, not the guests, so it’s more relatable than Real Housewives. I just wrote a one shot ficlet about 2 of the women on one of the more recent seasons yesterday. Ridiculous.

6) Describe your dream home. I feel like I always have a slightly different answer for this. Right now: my ideal home would be pretty small, maybe 700-800 sq ft, with a single bedroom, painted a vibrant pink and accented with green and white (think climbing vines with tiny, bright white blooms) and a small alcove done in a pale blue that housed a murphy bed for guests. The kitchen would be ultra organized to optimize space (I would NOT be the one to do this) and would be equipped with an air fryer, slow cooker, instant pot, and microwave in addition to standard brand new appliances. There’s a fold down table that can seat up to 4 in the kitchen, though it’s usually just set up for me. The bathroom has a shower done with celadon green tile with a bench seat built in and glass doors. The living room is small and simple, but there’s a big comfortable grey couch and a tv. The whole house has hardwood floors, and the windows each have a bit of stained glass in them up top so the light is sometimes colored as it filters in. There’s a covered carport with a doggie bath area and a chest freezer, and in the fenced back yard there’s a hot tub and comfortable lounging furniture among all the greenery. The house doesn’t have a lawn tho, fuck that. You can’t hear sounds from the street-- it’s a quiet house. I live alone unless i want a visitor. It sounds so nice.

12) What’s one of your fantasies? Having my dream home as above, lol. But really my most typical fantasy is being able to afford a weekend away at a fancy airbnb by the ocean that allows dogs. It turns out the owner is fat butch dyke who loves dogs and we end up playing scrabble together sitting at a picnic table outside. She offers to cook me dinner; I put together a cheese plate while she grills steaks and broccoli, and we basically fall in love, turning my silly 2 day vacation into a lifetime of slow, sweet, happy love. ://////////

13) Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced? I would, maybe? But also idk bc they’re extremely sensitive already and I don’t want them to lose sensation BUT i also don’t want them to be more sensitive bc that could cause legit problems.

19) If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to? Nah, I like my name. Though if I were going to change it I think I would just go by a variation of my first name-- Dottie.

20) What is something you’re obsessed with? Other than Below Deck? Yorkshire Gold tea. I bought it bc Louis Tomlinson drinks it and my whole life changed for the better. It’s SO FUCKING GOOD, ok? It rarely tastes bitter, even when you accidentally oversteep it, and the flavor and aroma are surprisingly complex for a simple black tea. I have been into teas since I was a teenager, and while I could never entirely give up some of my single origin black teas, Yorkshire Gold is my current (forever?) go to for a daily cuppa.

22) Tag someone you think is hot. HELP I don’t experience attraction this way anymore :p Literally idk who to tag?? WAIT @mxaether!!! Kams is super hot in all the ways, I adore them so much.

29) What’s the most overrated movie? In general anything directed or written by a white man who’s made lots of movies. I really try not to watch slogs like that anymore, but the last movie I watched that genuinely made me want to yell was The Dark Knight. Do I remember the plot? NO bc my ass was BORED BORED BORED and when I kinda thought it was about to be over NOPE! there was another hour of the movie left. Fuck that garbage. I haven’t seen it but I’m pretty sure I’d feel the same about that Snyder cut of Justice League. I read a long synopsis/breakdown of the movie (from someone who loved it!!!) and spent the whole time frowning with disgust bc it sounded like The Worst Thing I Could Ever Sit Through.

33) If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like? For the most part, not that different? I would have an endless supply of incredibly soft, comfy leggings with bright, eye-catching colors and patterns along with stretchy, form fitting dresses that were equally loud. Soft, loafer style slippers in a variety of colors. All my under things would be high end and custom made (also colorful! no white underpants! ever!) I would also have access to ultra fancy party clothes: stretchy, body con jumpsuits with plenty of sparkle (picture: a coppery jumpsuit that fits tight through the hips and ends with a high waist, the top slit in a deep V but draping softly with a bit of volume. The back has a light, diaphanous, cape of sorts), twirly dresses, etc. Everything is INCREDIBLY comfortable and easy to move in, but glam and fun and whimsically sexy?

47) If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick? None celebrity, left beef. :P Truthfully tho it’s Alex Guarnaschelli...she cooks for me, I serve her in any and every way she wants or needs. Would also say Lizzo but I worry that her partying days are still here and I know I wouldn’t be able to keep up.

50) What’s your favorite kind of weather? Sunny but breezy, almost cool in the shade, for midday. In the evening the temperature drops enough that you’re grateful for a sweater but not so much that you’re ever actually chilled, and around 2am there’s a light but steady rain for an hour or two that’s barely noticeable by noon the next day.

If anyone read all of these and for some reason wants to send me more, the asks are here

#about me #tmi #below deck #clothes #fatshion #movies #food mention #all my banal fantasies in one place lol #nosy asks #azcrowleyfell #answers

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sunflowervolvimp3 · 4 years

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okay but...... I know this isn’t a wonderful concept lmao but it’s all I got...... but Harry being in love with a fat girl 🥺 maybe she would be famous too? or an old friend from home?

as a fat girl who also writes music i stand by this concept!!!! but also just a psa: this is pretty going to be written like all my other blurbs and fics because. here’s the thing. and i’m going to bold it so you guys really get it: all of my writing is for people of all body types. i hate hate hate when thin is seen as the default in fics or art i truly do. and i hate hate hate hate when writers write plus size reader fics where the entire plot revolves around weight. where the reader is insecure and crying and the love interest says “you’re not fat! you’re beautiful!” or “i love a girl with curves! it’s so much sexier than a stick!” because that’s not a good thing to say!!!! fat is not synonymous with ugly and thin is not synonymous with beautiful!!!! stop making judgments on peoples bodies!!!! idk it just gets me because like. so rarely do i see plus size!reader stuff being a celebration. i always see it being a self esteem issue thing. anyways!!! enough of my rant let’s continue to the blurb which is inspired by harry and lizzo’s performance duet of juice!!!

...

Even as the dressing room door closes behind you, the roar of the crowd is still audible. You laugh breathlessly as you grab a bottle of water from the fridge, turning to Harry with a grin on your face. “Holy shit.”

His grin matches yours as he collapses down on the couch, running a hand through his sweaty curls. “Yeah. I know.”

“That as fucking amazing.” You open your water and chug almost half the bottle, wiping your mouth after. “I thought they were going to lose their minds when I brought you out.”

“They did lose their minds.” Harry smirks, undoing a few buttons on his shirt as he fans himself. “You absolutely killed it tonight.”

Your face feels flushed, but not from the adrenaline of performance. “Thanks. That really means a lot.” You say as you walk to your dressing room closet, pulling out a sports bra and a pair of leggings. “Christ, I need to get out of this body suit. I feel like I’m coated in sweat.”

“Nah, you look good.” Harry gets up to grab water for himself before sitting back down, pulling out his phone from his pocket.

“Thanks.” You turn around to change, not bothering to cover yourself up. It’s nothing Harry hasn’t seen before. “What are you doing?”

“Looking through twitter to see what people thought.” He smirks a bit, glancing up at you as you pull the sports bra on over your head.

You roll your eyes as you slip the leggings on, coming back to sit next to him on the couch. “Why are you so obsessed with checking those comments?”

“Just making sure no one knows our secret yet.” He murmurs, wrapping his free arm around you. “I got a bit carried away in the performance.”

“I noticed.” You giggle as your hands come to rest on his chest, your fingers brushing his bare skin. “I don’t think changing the lyrics to ‘I wanna be way more than friends’ was that subtle.”

“Couldn’t help it.” He grins at you in a cheeky manner. “You looked too good in that sparkly blue number.”

You laugh a bit, but it fades as you rub his chest. “Do you want to go public? It has been three months, so...if you’re thinking about it, we can revisit it...”

“I don’t know.” Harry shrugs, closing his phone and tossing it next to him. “Some days I think it would be nice to be able to be honest about what I feel for you. And maybe it would get those pricks to stop flirting with you online.”

“Yeah, but...” You bite your lip. “I feel like I’m just getting started in the industry, you know? And I don’t want to be known for being Harry Styles’ girlfriend. I want to be known for what I bring to the table.”

Harry kisses the top of your head. “I know, darling. I get it. I do like everything being so private. It’s just...”

“Hard. Yeah.” You nod as you agree, your hand moving lower on his chest. “Let’s just give it more time. I’d like a bit more peace before I start getting compared to all your exes.”

Harry rubs his thumb along your jaw, gripping your chin gently as he makes you look at him. “You know that’s all bullshit.” His voice drops lower as he kisses you softly. His lips still hover over yours as he speaks, his breath washing over you. “Whatever the media says.”

“I know.” You reposition yourself so you’re straddling his lap, your arms going around his neck. The hair at the nape of his neck is curlier, still damp from the show as you play with it in your fingers.

“They don’t know how good we are together.” Harry’s hands stroke your hips. “How good I make you feel. How good you make me feel.”

Your cheeks warm as is hands move to your ass, squeezing lightly. “How good I make you feel?” You ask breathlessly. “I’m not sure I know what you mean. Why don’t you show me?”

Harry leans down, connecting his lips with your neck. “Gladly.”

#harryblurb #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #one direction fanfiction #one direction fic #one direction imagine #anonymous #ask

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feistypaants-archived · 4 years

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Between The Pipes [Chapter 28]

Rating: M Words: 2028 Pairing: Kristanna Summary: When a new owner takes over the Arendelle Ice Breakers, Kristoff isn’t sure about his future with the team. That is, until a PR nightmare throws the newest member of the media team, who also just so happens to be the daughter of the new owner, right into his arms. Kristoff and Anna can’t even stand the interviews they have to do together… how on earth are they going to fix this mess? Hockey!AU.

[Chapter Index]

Where To Read: [AO3]

Notes: hmmmmmm.....

thanks 2 @ahtohallan-calling and @awesomemaple for the sven and anna dancing to lizzo inspo lmao the true mvps.

Enjoy!

Kristoff almost fell over when Anna sprung herself forward to land on his back with her arms around his neck. It was mostly the surprise of it, but he managed to right them both before she even noticed his stumble. “Hi,” he laughed, shifting his bag of gear to his other shoulder as she slid down the expanse of his back. “You’re chipper this morning.”

“Well,” she grinned, sliding her hand into his and lacing their fingers together. “It’s a beautiful day!”

It was most decidedly not a beautiful day. It was cold and gloomy and snowing. And not even a pretty snow… just wet and harsh. But if Anna felt that way, then sure, he could roll with it. “That so?”

She had started swinging their hands together as they walked, her thumb tracing circles over his. “Mhmm,” was all she hummed, nodding slowly.

It had been two weeks since the gala and she had spent almost every night at his house. It had been weird to fall asleep without her last night, but she had insisted on staying with her sister at her hotel. Apparently they needed some bonding time, and who was he to deny her that? But still, he already felt tension draining from his shoulders as she squeezed his hand and bumped his hip with her own while they walked and she talked about the bright side of the bad weather.

“I missed you,” he mumbled beneath her rambling, blushing bright when she stopped mid sentence to look up at him.

A small hop-skip-jump brought her lips up to his cheek, and then she was smiling even brighter. “I missed you, too.”

Kristoff coughed slightly, just to clear his throat, before shaking his head and trying to accept the small moment of vulnerability. “So, um…” He shrugged and kept his gaze forward. “Did you have fun with your sister?” He relaxed just slightly when she pressed her arm against his.

“Oh, yes.” She paused for a moment as she looked around. “I guess Elsa and Honey have been…” Anna practically giggled behind her hand. “You know.” A snort laugh and red tinged cheeks made him smile. “Talking.”

He could laugh at this shy, bashful Anna, so different from one he knew. Maybe it was because she was talking about her sister, but shit, he couldn’t help but wonder if it was how she talked about him, too. “Oh? Talking? Or… not talking.”

Anna whacked at his chest and laughed again, wrapping her hands around his bicep this time. “That’s my sister you’re talking about.”

“Sorry, sorry.”

A relaxed silence fell between them again as they continued down the corridor. Kristoff had spent the whole night thinking, and talking to Sven, and talking to his mother, and… He had decided that he wanted to do something special for Anna. He wanted to take her somewhere fancy, wine and dine her, and, fuck, as cheesy as it was, wanted to officially ask her out.

They sat in limbo right now, unsure of where to proceed. Their feelings were on the table, but, at least for Kristoff, things still felt uncertain. Did she want him to fully figure himself out before they moved forward? Or was she willing to work with him? It was a lot to ask of someone, but she was the most patient and kind person he had ever met.

If anyone would be able to help him, it was her.

Coach Mattias’ door slammed open as they stepped into the locker room. It startled Anna, who clenched his arm a little tighter as their eyes both snapped to the entrance. Warren emerged first, obviously irritated, followed by Mattias and…

“Papa!” Anna exclaimed, clearly taken aback. “I didn’t think you were coming to the skate…”

His face was stern as he turned his attention to the two of them. Kristoff could swear there was something venomous in his eyes. “I wasn’t. But I was called for a meeting.”

Kristoff was going to let go of her, but he felt just a slight squeezing of her fingers. “Oh?”

“We’ll talk later.”

And then he left the locker room, leaving a dozen or so stressed out players in his wake.

“Dude, what was that?” Kristoff’s eyes moved quickly to Warren and Anisimov, hunkered into a corner as Warren’s glare lingered just slightly too long on Anna.

He met Kristoff’s gaze, clenched his jaw, and snapped his head back around to face his teammate. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

This didn’t seem good.

—

Family skate had never been Kristoff’s favorite event. Sometimes he was able to fly his family out around Christmas and keep them in town long enough, but with his sister having a new baby and his dad needing to get someone trained to run the shop, they weren’t able to join him this year. But it was okay, because this year he had Anna, and she more than made up for all the years he just stuck awkwardly with Sven, Jelissa, and their siblings.

She clearly had snuck in more practice since their initial learn-to-skate session, and was easily gliding over the ice - nothing fancy, but clearly comfortable on skates. Every once in a while a good song would come on, and she would speed up to catch Sven and Jelissa as they danced and sang and all-around made fools of themselves.

He fucking loved it.

One song in particular had Sven crouched and shaking his ass back and forth as Anna smacked at it, the lyrics rapping something about fit fat asses and needing tempo and so many other words he couldn’t understand. Kristoff would have been jealous if it were anyone else, but there was absolutely zero reason for it with the two of them. He even found himself skating closer as Anna sang something about boyfriends watching and made little finger hooks to urge him over.

He would never be able to express how open and free he felt when she was by his side.

“Okay, I’m tired,” she laughed, leaning on Kristoff’s shoulder. “Water break.”

Kristoff gestured for her to lead the way, but shivered slightly when her hands slid over his hips as she came to a stop behind him, one arm lifting to flick at the bobble on top of his toque. “Take me where I need to be!” she hollered, wrapping her arms around his waist.

So, as was his nature when it came to Anna, he did the exact opposite.

Bending at the knees, and hearing her quick realization of what was happening, Kristoff took off, almost full sprint, with Anna laughing wildly behind him. “Stop stop stop!” But her laughter was louder than the protests, so he kept going, zig zagging out of other skaters while she yelled apologies behind them.

“Kristoff!!”

He grabbed her hands with his own, holding on tight to her, as he whipped around a corner.

“Too fast for you?”

“Not even close!”

Finally, when he had worn himself out, too, Kristoff came to a gradual stop right at the door, offering Anna a hand to help her step off the ice. She was still laughing, her cheeks flushed with exhilaration, and he couldn’t stop himself from leaning forward and cupping her jaw in his palms. One more sighing laugh came from her throat as she looked up at him with a crooked smile.

She was so fucking beautiful.

He kissed her, deep and slow, earning a round of wolf-whistling from the adults in the rink. He didn’t even care, because her hands were gripping his and her chest was arching into his and god damn it, did he need something fancy to tell her what he wanted? “Anna…” His breath was heavy as he pulled away, swallowing around the new lump in his throat. “Anna, I…”

Her eyes were full of wonder as she kept her gaze locked onto his, her bottom lip caught between her teeth.

“I… I really --”

“Anna.”

Her fathers’ stern voice cut through their thoughts and she jumped away as quickly as she could, turning to face the owner with her hands clasped together behind her back.

Of course.

“Hi, papa.” She waved her fingers at Kristoff from behind her back, urging him to head back out onto the ice. “What’s up?”

Kristoff felt her fathers’ eyes locked onto him as he took a few glides backwards, giving them the privacy he thought she might be asking for. He wasn’t sure what was wrong, but he felt unsettled as he tried his best to turn his attention back to his friends instead of on Anna, following the owner back into Mattias’ office.

—

Almost an hour passed before Anna reemerged.

Mr. Arne had come out after just twenty minutes, bid his farewells, and told them to give his daughter some privacy before heading out of the arena. Kristoff had pulled out his phone and texted her, not wanting to barge in on something she didn’t want him to bear witness to.

Is everything okay baby?

yeah! yep!! i’ll be out soon!! Sorry!!

Are you sure? I can come back if you want.

no!!! it’s fine! just doing some quick paperwork!!

He wasn’t sure he believed her, and the excess of exclamation points certainly didn’t help, but she wasn’t pleading for him to come and comfort her and he had to trust that she would ask if she had wanted him to. But when she came back out to the ice, he noticed her red nose and puffy cheeks, and immediately skated over to her. “Anna…?”

A smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Yes?”

He scanned over her face, noting the softly twitching corner of her mouth and flaring of her nostrils that he could guess signified she wanted him to drop it. So… he held out his hand to her and waggled his fingers in her direction. “Wanna keep skating?” The relief he saw drop in her shoulders made him tense in her place as she nodded and stepped back onto the ice.

It all felt different then. She kept a firm grip on his fingers as they moved slowly around the rink, no more enthusiasm in her small strides, and definitely no more dancing.

He had to try again. “Baby…” his voice was low, just above a whisper, as he pressed a kiss against her hairline.

“I’m fine. Please.” She kept her gaze firmly forward, until they reached the end of their second lap. She tugged on his arm just slightly, tilting her body towards the exit. “I think…” she started, biting her bottom lip. “I think that I really want to get a burger.”

Kristoff almost laughed. “Yeah, yeah, of course. Let’s go. We can talk. Let me just grab my --”

But then she was red faced and she was hollering at Sven and Jelissa, waving them over and inviting them along.

Anna didn’t want to be alone with him right now.

Normally it wouldn’t bother him, but when it felt like she was going to some great length to avoid telling him what was bothering her, he could feel irritation prickling at his spine. Kristoff sighed and trailed behind the others as they made their way back to the locker room to grab their things.

Soon after, they were all climbing into Sven’s Escalade, making their way to his favorite burger joint. He said it was a hole in the wall and you had to know someone to know about it. Kristoff couldn’t help but tease him, saying knowing him clearly hadn’t done them any favors.

Anna’s hollow laugh felt like a knife in his stomach.

He knew she’d tell him when she was ready, but there was a burning in the back of his throat that begged him to pester her until she caved, until she laid it all out on the table. But that was his father. That was something he would do. That wasn’t Kristoff. He wasn’t going to do that.

Instead, he reached over, clasped her hand in his, and gave her a reassuring squeeze.

At least this time her smile was a little more genuine.

#btpfic #feistypantswrites

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jwayspillz · 3 years

Text

Is Lizzo Contrary to Body Positivity?

Let’s discuss!!!

Lizzo got into this controversy for sharing her juice cleanse routine on Tik Tok. It led to Lizzo trending all over Twitter with many expressing their disappointment of her dieting and her falling under the pressure of having a smaller frame due to the music industry. This controversy influenced my question-Is Lizzo contrary to body positivity-and is an extended conversation from my YouTube video about Lizzo’s brand. Before I provide my thoughts, here are others thoughts on the situation.

My Take

The controversy was very ridiculous and pointless, because Instragram influencers and models promote flat tummy teas and diet smoothies constantly, yet I don’t see a huge outrage for them “influencing unhealthy eating habits” or “promoting diet culture”. Lizzo just shared her juice cleanse routine and stated that if others were interested, then be advised by their doctors, She’s simply showing her lifestyle, such as dieting and exercising, so it made me wonder: when Lizzo is excercising and dieting, but she says she loves being big and plus-sized, is that contrary or against body positivity?

Anti-Body Positivity??

Earlier last month, Lizzo shared on tik tok that she disliked her body and that she was having negative thoughts about her body. Click link to view:

https://www.tiktok.com/@lizzo/video/6904153428281396486?referer_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cosmopolitan.com%2F&referer_video_id=6904153428281396486&is_copy_url=1&is_from_webapp=v1

Before that tik tok was posted, she shared a video and the caption read.

“Wild to see the body positive movement come so far. Proud of the big girls who gave it wings. My body is changing but I’m gonna keep appreciating it from every angle.”

She’s been hinting at going through a weight loss journey and explains the tik tok of her disliking her body. After posting her daily juice cleanse, she posted the results of drinking the juice cleanse each day, basically to see her weight loss progress and explain that the juice cleanse helped to combat her gastrointestinal issues.

https://www.tiktok.com/@lizzo/video/6904313495207152901?referer_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cosmopolitan.com%2F&referer_video_id=6904153428281396486&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v2&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6912514083120383493

In response to the juice cleanse backlash, Lizzo intended that the juice cleanse was specifically for combating her gastrointestinal issues and to balance her body since she was eating and drinking a lot on Thanksgiving, but it was not for dramatic weight loss.

Based on prior posts I believe that Lizzo was trying to lose weight and I think she’s on a weight loss journey. It’s ridiculous that Lizzo has to explain herself when she exercises and diets, because other people are insecure of thenselves and projected their insecurities onto her. I don’t understand how its problematic that someone who is plus-sized is exercising or dieting, these are basic things included in our lifestyle and daily activities. Weirdly, she’s put on this pedestal of scrutiny and controversy for innocent things, because she’s plus-sized; yet other people are not held to the same task as her😕

What is Body Positivity?

Via VeryWellMind,

“Body positivity refers to the assertion that all people deserve to have a positive body image, regardless of how society and popular culture view ideal shape, size, and appearance. Some of the goals of the body positivity movement include:

challenging how society views the body

promoting the acceptance of all bodies

helping people build confidence and acceptance of their own bodies

addressing unrealistic body standards

Body positivity also aims to help people understand how popular media messages contribute to the relationship that people have with their bodies, including how they feel about food, exercise, clothing, health, identity, and self-care. By better understanding the effect that such influences have, the hope is that people can develop a healthier and more realistic relationship with their bodies.”

“With the understanding of body positivity and its purpose, then why are people upset and bothered by Lizzo’s juice cleanse” - Jwayspillz

I’ve seen posts from people who are a part of the body positive movement that criticized Lizzo for doing the juice cleanse. Many of them stating that Lizzo was being anti-body positivity, that she’s promoting diet culture and a toxic body standard. However, based on the concept of body positivity, shouldn’t Lizzo’s choice to juice cleanse, diet, exercise, etc be respected, especially since been done safely and been advised by her doctors.

Lizzo did nothing wrong, but people guilted her because they are insecure with their weight and body. Instead of personally dealing with their issues (counseling/talking to close family + friends), they found an excuse and scapegoat for their issues-Lizzo. Lizzo is so idolized and celebrated for being the face of plus-sized women and body positive movement that people started a controversy due to possibly losing their “plus-sized queen”.

For instance, one tweet from the pictures read “I’m going to miss seeing a body that looks like mine living wild and free like I want to”. It was so weird reading that, because Lizzo isn’t the only plus-sized figure in the media; she’s making it seem like Lizzo is the last big girl in the world🙃.

Another tweet reads from the pictures, “I think the disappointment lies in a lot of us (especially fat, black women) seeing ourselves in a woman who was so proud and confident in her body. It made us want to do the same to ours”. Once again, an insecurity, which should personally be worked on. Lizzo have been motivating and encouraging her fans to appreciate and love their bodies on numerous occasions. Lizzo can be an inspiration, but she can’t be the ultimate reason for them to embrace their bodies. It should be something that their comfortable in achieving, not just because Lizzo said so. Also, she never promoted anything negative about her body and that tweet made it seem like Lizzo just completely disregarded body positivity and said fuck body positivity.

How does this relate to my video?

https://youtu.be/nMs4hEv4qkY

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youtube

As stated previously, this is an extended conversation from my YouTube video about Lizzo brand and I wanted to understand the opposing perspective. In fact, this whole juice cleanse controversy, along with other headlines and trending topics about Lizzo last year, inspired this video. I noticed how her brand, body positivity, have been affecting her brand since she’s came in the music scene with Truth Hurts. I would appreciate it if you watch and comment your thoughts on that video and this discussion (also subscribe and share my content as well😏).

I’ve basically concluded that this “controversy” was taken waaayyy out of proportions and was only “controversial” because Lizzo is plus-sized. I’ve seen many people on social media who celebrate their weight loss journey or completing healthy diets. In addition, I’ve seen people who celebrate and embrace being plus-sized. So the outrage for Lizzo’s juice cleanse was so hypocritical and dumb asf.

Overall, it’s an individual choice on what they want to do to their body. If you’re comfortable with being big, fat, plus-sized, then just do that. If you’re exercising or dieting to reach a certain goal, then do that. I understand the media and entertainment industry in general have always promoted one body type, which isn’t realistic for everyone. We all come in different shapes and sizes, so it should be represented thoroughly in the media, which is the purpose of body positivity.

However, it is unfair for Lizzo to be scrutinize for every little thing, whether exercising or dieting, just because she’s plus-sized. For instance, Lizzo was trending because Saweetie was eating junk food and people were like “but if Lizzo did that”. Literally, this situation had nothing to do with Lizzo, it was so uncalled for and unnecessary. Why not make that conversation about plus-sized individuals overall rather than just singling out one plus-sized person???

Lizzo always promotes self-love, encourages her fans, and advocates for body positivity, but the minute she does a juice cleanse all that gets thrown out the window and people from the body positive movement turns on her. A very weird and dumb situation. Interestingly, Lizzo expressed how she’s tired of being the brunt for all plus-sized women and how fame has amplied her personal struggles (like this stupid ass juice cleanse controversy). Both videos linked below: https://www.tiktok.com/@lizzo/video/6895111799134358790?sender_device=mobile&sender_web_id=6919766778344637958&is_from_webapp=v1&is_copy_url=0

View this post on Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/p/CGnW2gBhzf1/?igshid=acarimcw4oid

That’s all for this discussion, let me know you’re thoughts? Do you agree or disagree? Is Lizzo opposing body positivity, when she says she loves being big and plus-sized, yet she exercises and diets, which many perceive as her trying to lose weight?

Follow my IG & Twitter: @jwayspillz

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shadow-prime · 4 years

Text

Tempo

*THIS IS A SONG FIC rights to the song 'Tempo' belong to Lizzo feat. Missy Elliot

Let me know if I should do a story on these too, I've put a lot of heart into Ivy and she has a pretty nasty background. If you want more I need this chapter to have 100 stars. Love you all!

- Shadow_Prime

P.s. Ivy is my personal Oc who needs all the love *

I've been waitin' for this one

Turn it up

Slow songs, they for skinny hoes

Can't move all of this here to one of those

I'm a thick bitch, I need tempo (Tempo)

Fuck it up to the tempo

Slow songs, they for skinny hoes

Can't move all of this here to one of those

I'm a thick bitch, I need tempo (Tempo)

Fuck it up to the tempo

As the song softly came on Ivy couldn't help the movement her body did. She was curvy and hella thick so any movements she did were accentuated by her jiggle. Ivy was completely oblivious to the world as she was cleaning the apartment with her headphones in. Taking the broom she dipped down before popping back up singing to her her hearts content. Her legs carried her through her living room where she sensually danced to the beat, popping locking, and twerking.

Pitty-pat, pitty-pat, pitty-pitty-pat (Pat)

Look at my ass, it's fitty-fitty-fat (Fat)

Kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty-kitty cat (Cat)

Prrr me a glass, boy, I like my water wet (Wet)

Throw it back (Throw it back, threw it back)

Catch that (Catch that, catch that)

I need a jack (Woo)

For all of this ass, but it won't go flat (Wait a minute)

Baby, baby (Baby)

Come eat some of this cakey (Cake)

He look like he could gain a little weight (A little weight)

Lick the icing off, put the rest in your face (Face)

Unbeknownst to her Raph was casually watching her from her window a grin plastered on his lips as he watched her bed and dip in ways that made his cock twitch. Although he didn't care for the song she was playing the beat was something to watch just on its own. He felt like he could sit there and watch her for hours on loop just fixated on her movements and the fact that she looked so damn hot.

Slow songs, they for skinny hoes

Can't move all of this here to one of those (Hey)

I'm a thick bitch, I need tempo (Need it)

Fuck it up to the tempo

Slow songs, they for skinny hoes

Fuck it up to the tempo (Tempo)

Fuck it up, fuck it up

Boyfriend watchin', oh now he wanna knuckle up

Get on this ride, baby, you gon' have to buckle up

Thick thighs save lives, call me little buttercup

All means necessary (Ayy)

My ass is not an accesserary (What?)

Nigga, I said it, accessarary (What?)

Twerk skills up on legendary

Deciding he better stop her before he had a full hard on he crawled through the window and just to piss her off he stepped forward until she was practically grinding against him. Tapping her shoulder Ivy whipped around her dark and light splotched skinned cheeks were speckled with pink and her chest was heaving from the exception of cleaning so hard and dancing on top of it. Her blush deepened more when she noticed the taller figure of Raph standing directly in front of her "Raph!" She smacked his chest playfully angry that he spooked her. Raph chuckled deeply his hands grabbing her hips and pulling her close to him "Should'a paid more attention babe". "How much did you see?" Ivy asked mortified a bit at what he saw. Grinning Raph brought her hand to his crotch letting her feel how hard he was getting "Enough ta give me this" he growled nipping her shoulder. Ivy couldn't help her own grin on her lips "oh really?" She purred "maybe I can give you a show later on, When I don't have all the kids?"

Slow songs, they for skinny hoes

Can't move all of this here to one of those (Hey)

I'm a thick bitch, I need tempo (Need it)

Fuck it up to the tempo

Slow songs, they for skinny hoes

The music was still playing through the headphones as they talked. A small stare down happened between them before Raph picked her up, his mouth setting on her own in a ferocious manor. The song itself was enough to get him riled up just thinking about her but watching her dance to it like she was having sex with the air was just way to hot to pass up. A soft growl exited his throat as he kissed her, she was powerless against him. Letting her hands slide down his plastron shoving him away.

"I need to clean my apartment, so unless you want to help then help." Pulling her hair up in a messy bun, wearing a satisfied smirk on her lips. This game of cat and mouse would always turn out interesting for them. Purposefully sliding off of him slowly Ivy turned with a away in her hips, grinding against him. A growl was heard behind her, but Raph didn't touch her and let her go "You're gonna regret that.... Buttercup". A large hand came up and gave a big nice smack on her ass. A small yelp was heard and Ivy's blush returned tenfold, she was so confident in there game but he always found some way to throw her off balance. And right now... She was almost tempted to just have her way with him on the couch. But with all of her brother's and sister's in there rooms and her own kid asleep. This wasn't a likely place to do anything.

Missy

Let's go (Let's go), let's go (Let's go)

All the fly girls head to the dance floor

Kitty cat, kitty cat, prrr

All the thick girls down on the flrrr (On the floor)

Ice on my neck like brrr (Like brrr)

I'm big-boned with nice curves (Nice curves)

Look at me, I know I look grrrd (Good)

Look good, look good, look grrrd (Look good)

I'ma show y'all chicks how to drrr it

Your nigga, he wish he could

Thick girl (Thick girl), split (Split)

Get a bag (Get a bag), get rich (Get rich)

Hair done (Hair done), fixed (Fixed)

If you see a hater, tell him quit (Stop)

Get your own dough (Own dough)

Get your bread, own dough (Own dough)

Go on, ladies, head to the floor (Floor)

Fuck up the tempo, thick girls get low (Woo)

A thought came to her and while he stood over her like he was going to eat her. With her back to him she suddenly pressed her ass against him swivling her hips tauntingly against him. Before going into a deep squat and coming up until she felt him buck against her. Standing up to face him she played with his straps momentarily "I'm a thick bitch, I need Tempo...."

Slow songs, they for skinny hoes

Can't move all of this here to one of those (Hey)

I'm a thick bitch, I need tempo (Need it)

Fuck it up to the tempo

Slow songs, they for skinny hoes

Fuck it up to the tempo

Girl, run that shit back

#tmntraphael #tmnt #tmnt2016 #tmnt2014 #teenagemutantninjaturtles #ninjaturtles #shadow writes #tmnt raphael x oc

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tobesobri · 4 years

Note

Hello! I love a good “enemies to lovers” story. And I love how much she can get under his skin but she just wished his hands could get under her own skins lol (I’m terrible at jokes, sorry). You know, I spend most of my late teens being a plus sized myself and even with having losing over 45 pounds I’m always wondering if there were stories like yours during that time I would feel so bad to the point I spend a whole lot of money on losing weight. I also loved how SOFT (tbc...)

(Part) I loved how SOFT harry was in the first chapter. Like he cares so much about his art and when he noticed she was ACTUALLY trying he was just so so so read to drop it all and help her. I can’t wait for more!!!! It’s so so so good (like everything I have read from you honestly)

enemies to lovers is my favorite trope ever, i literally never get sick of writing or reading it. and that was not a terrible joke at all! it made me laugh so thank you lol and i feel you on that, there used to be no plus-size representation in any media at all when i was younger unless it was to make fun of us, and that does still happen in a lot of movies/TV but when i was in college this UK show came out called My Mad Fat Diary (which you can watch on Hulu or I’m sure it’s still up on Youtube somewhere) and I feel like it 100% was the representation I needed to not feel like complete shit about myself all the time like i did in high school. even now like i can’t tell you how happy Lizzo makes me and I hate that people are so fucking evil on social media to her but she always handles it so well and I look up to her so much. so yeah i know my little story isn’t anything special but I’m glad to add to the small amount of plus-sized representation in fanfic for once bc i was always a bit nervous to do it. sorry for rambling and going on a tangent but fjvfjkv yes soft harry is great and he only gets softer 🥺and thank youuuuuuu!!!!! ❤️

#sculptor!harry #iwannaholdyoutight-

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taracottta · 4 years

Text

Reversing 29 years of self-perception

About a year and a half ago I decided to start my active journey of self-love, acceptance, and perception. I was tired of getting down on myself, putting myself down, letting my self-esteem hold me back from living my life, and attaining a self-image that really isn't realistic for me. The first thing I wanted to tackle was my health. I started lifting weights at the gym with my friend. It was really mild, we didn't do much, but just the act of going to the gym with my friend was a start. We all have to start somewhere!

As I started to become more active, I started to take friends up on their offers to go hiking (something I didn't want to do prior due to thinking I was too fat and out of shape, and lazy). One day my friend asked if I wanted to try Orange Theory. At first I was SO hesitant. I looked it up and saw that part of the circuit is to run on the treadmill. HELL NO. I still had PTSD from when I went running crazy and would run for two hours a day on the treadmill when I was in high school. After that I just told myself, running isn't for me and thats that. I decided to step out of my comfort zone and agreed to go. I know this sounds dramatic...but that day changed. my. life. I remember some of their beginning questions. “Do you work out often now?” Maybe 3 times a week. Hows that working out? At this point I looked at the guy thinking fuuuuck youuu what kind of question is that. But I was just being defensive because...It wasn't working out. I was at the heaviest I have been. Ever. I mean I felt better for going to the gym, but I wasn't getting the results I wanted. Then he asked me, “What are your health goals? Do you want to loose weight?” & part of my self love journey was to change the way I thought about loosing weight. I made a conscious decision to not aim for “loosing weight” I understood that being healthy was a lifestyle change. To have a goal to loose weight is not having a goal to change my life style. So my goal became making myself feel strong and healthy. And that has been my goal ever since, and still is. I hated EVERY minute on the treadmill when I took my first class. For all 30 min, I flooded my brain with negative thoughts and feeling angry that I agreed to come to this stupid class. When the class was done, I immediately signed up for an unlimited membership. I felt a high I haven't felt since high school. I felt positive, I felt optimistic, and I thought HELL YEAH, I can come here three + times a week! The negative thoughts and feelings that I experienced was the result of me being pushed out of my comfort zone. I resisted it mentally but decided that since I was already there, I might as well kindaaa try. But the endorphin high I received after quickly help me realize that I DID IT, and I can do it again! Lizzo also became a huge influence when she started rising in fame. I didn’t know about her before. I’m one of those mainstream junkies. Anyway. I read an interview where she explained the origin of “Truth Hurts” the break up song of the year. She explained that she wrote that song by going to her producer and venting about a recently failed relationship. He put her rant with a beat and there it came. She said it was a dark time for her, filled with self-doubt and depression, and yet she came up with an empowering song that helped millions of women lift their spirits when they did doubt themselves because of a failed relationship. I read that interview in awe thinking how crazy it is that someone can be at the darkest point in their life and produce the most empowering and inspiring songs. When she would speak at her concerts (I’m going to be dramatic again but its true), I would literally listen to her speeches and cry tears of happiness and love because of what she was saying. It really touched me so deep down into my soul and I want to say that has been a HUGE reason why I have been able to come so far in my self-love journey. I saw her, a big, beautiful woman. I didn't think she was fat, I didn't think she was unhealthy, I saw a beautiful woman full of confidence and purpose and I wanted to exude that same energy. That is when I truly started to look at my body and accept it for what it is. Before this, I have always wanted to get back to how I looked when I was 16. I finally realized, that is an unattainable goal, and thats okay. I was so unhealthy during that time. I counted my calories, I exercised every day with no break. There was a point that I was so obsessed, I would only eat 3 100 calorie yoplait yogurts a day and drink 3 5 oz wanters a day in attempts to not put on water weight. If I wanted to eat unhealthy food, I would chew the food, and spit it out without digesting it. THAT IS CRAZY. I was starving myself of food AND water. I never want to get back to that. That realization helped me with my relationship with food. I want to eat food that is helps build my body, is tasty, and I enjoy eating. I want to enjoy my food and I also want to eat food that helps me feel strong. So I do that. I eat healthy food. But if I want a fried chicken sandwich, I’m going to get it. And because I won't go on a strict diet my body will not be what it can be, and I’m okay with it. I like the body the way it is now, and am fine with sacrificing a banging bod, for being able to enjoy food when I feel like it. This is my life and these are my priorities. A year and a half later, I feel I have come so far. Yes I’ve lost weight. Don't ask me how much, because I don't know. I don't want to live my life by the scale like I did at the peak of my eating disorder. But you know what I have noticed? I feel stronger, I can do more things without struggling or getting out of breath, I can push myself further. When I run on the treadmill in OTF and I am able to bump up my speed or bump up my incline without taking a walking break I feel STRONG, and I feel ABLE. One of our coaches likes to say “Your body is capable of SO MUCH” and it “it is a privilege to move!” and, it is! Some people are not able to do everything that most of us are able to do, and I shouldn't take that for granted. I shouldn't dread getting out of bed in the morning to go exercise. I should be eternally grateful that I get to move. Some people don’t have that luxury, and sometime in the future, I will be able to less than I can now. I shouldn't waste my time now, while im healthy and able. I am so happy at where I am now. I feel solid, I feel strong, and I feel like I can do more. Even though we are on our second shut down, and our state has robbed me of not only my physical escape, but my mental and emotional escape, I will push myself to exercise, I will continue to keep going and do more. I have come to terms with what my body looks like and I am starting to not just, be okay with my body, but to love my body. I have come so far but have so far more to go. Loving yourself is a life long journey and I hope you all are on your way to the top.

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daddyqr · 5 years

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I've been on and off diets since I was 6 years old and I'm tired. Did you know diets fail 95% of the time? I look at people like beyonce, rihanna, lizzo, megan thee stallion, iskra lawrence; famous and successful women who aren't a size 0, but are still confident, whose bodies look like mine.

I look at Instagram pages that post about a new influencer getting work done, specifically getting fat transferred to their butts and hips. Influencers photoshopping their pics to look thiccer when all I've ever wanted since I was six was to be stick thin like them.

I have tried so many things; intermittent fasting, keto diet, low carb, tracking cals, doing 45 mins of fasted cardio and then not eating until five, trying to eat 500 cals a day, trying to eat 1,200 cals a day, only eating tuna and egg whites for 3 months.

The way of thinking of people around me doesn't help either. Everytime a semester starts, people notice who has put on weight, and congratulate those who have lost it. Everybody's constantly talking about when they're gonna hit the gym, what they're gonna have for lunch, when they're gonna meet with their nutriologists.

I'm hyper aware of people's bodies. I envy those who have skinnier, more toned bodies. I feel a rush of relief when I see someone bigger than me. And it sucks.

My sister and mother are currently on their god know's what number of attempt at a diet.

I'm just so tired of this fat phobic society, and what it has done to my relationship with my body and food.

I served myself 3 plates of pasta today and I'm trying not to give a fuck about my shorts not fitting as lose as they used to. I'll try to listen to my body, and to stop seeing food as a demonic, evil entity.

#personal #long post #I'm posting this for myself feel free to ignore #body image #weight #eating disorder

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rahenning · 4 years

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Examining Youth Culture

Hello Media & Society class! On this post we are going to be examining youth culture in in film. Over the past month we watched great film references on this topic such as “The Breakfast Club” by John Hughes, “KIDS” by Larry Clark and “Mid90’s” by Jonah Hill. Another masterpiece in reference to youth culture is the 2019 HBO original series “Euphoria”. Starring Zendaya as “Rue”, the teen series amazes the audience from beginning to end with crucial topics of the generation Z. The show dives deep into discussions that mostly all teenagers can relate with on their high school and young adult years. One of the topics of the show is incredibly exposed by the strong character Kat Hernandez.

Kat is the character that I could relate a lot due to her struggles with body image and fat shaming. Such as her I was, and still am, a fat young person. Through out the episodes we learn more about her history dealing with her body and how it influenced on her self-image. From a very young age Kat learns how society sees and expects different from her because of her weigh. At first, we see Kat as a self-conscious, shy and modest looking girl. But on the following episodes Kat begin to change her personality due to understanding the power that she has in her hand (online) and body. On episode 5 she stated, “There is nothing more powerful than a fat girl who does not give a fuck”. Kat began to show off a stronger, empowered, confident girl changing the stigma of a quiet and modest fat girl in high school. Her outfit changed along with her attitude. She created a careless attitude for herself. However, the truth is that she cares. Deep inside and under all that make up and strong image that she created just like in her novels, Kat begins to realize that she does not need to be mean to her friends to be more confident and well-resolved with her sexuality, image and reputation. Excluding Kat’s choice of being an online sex worker, I can relate to her issues on building her own personality and acceptance. As a fat woman I struggled with the same problems and took me years to find the beauty and confidence in myself. Many people felt disappointed with the character once she began to have a mean attitude and how she mistreated her friends. But I can see how this is relatable to her own journey on finding herself as a plus size woman and taking up the space that society sometimes rather either mute or shame it. The character is brought to life by the awesome female actor and plus size model Barbie Ferreira. When talking about body positivism and all issues on accepting yourself, it is all about representation. Barbie Ferreira in this show and in her model, career helps individuals who are often unseen by society to have a voice and work in their own journey of acceptance. Personally, this character really touched me, but on more extensive researches about the female actor I also found out she is half Brazilian! It was a big “A HA!”. It made sense why I was relating so much to her, even on the looks. The thick eyebrows tell it all!

In addition, according to PubMed “any type of fat shaming causes overweight people to become stressed, eat more calories, and gain more weight.”. To learn more about the “harmful effects of fat shaming” click on the link below to read the article.

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/fat-shaming-makes-things-worse

To conclude this matter, I will share with you a great 2016 interview of Barbie Ferreira for “Glamour” about body shaming and her path as a plus size model.

youtube

Adding up with the tittles mentioned before, we have “Mean Girls” and “Saved by the Bell” to enrich our references on youth culture. These films bring an important discussion on the issues and life of a teenage in their high school years. Drug abuse, sexuality and “bro culture” along with a seek of belonging to a social group are common topics presented in these stories. As any other adolescent we all need to fit in a social group. Either the popular in school, the nerds or the skateboarders of the neighborhood. The movies are spot on in representing the initiation in these groups and the aspirations of an adolescent to become someone like them. Sex will always be the crucial part of its times. Either the initiation, the doubts, speculations, fantasies and finally the experience. From the first kiss to sex. Also extending to gender identification. The films show the adolescents sharing their experiences and curiosity with their friends on this topic. Does not matter what generation it is, drugs will appear in front of them at some point. As shown in the films and I believe everyone have experienced or seeing their friends trying a cigarette, weed, beer or whatever for the first time and how you are almost obligated to try to otherwise you will be picked on.

The times may have changed, but all kids will encounter these topics in their path. Most of these movies are portrayed in a time before internet and all the information about these topics would come from their friends, from the streets and their social interactions. What your friend did and said how it happens would be your guide when your time comes.

The films/series selected open this discussion about youth culture and all portrays the youth of its time. All of them, even being filmed in different generation, shows young adults dealing with issues such as sexuality, acceptance, drugs and personal relations. The young men in these films mostly have masculinity issues, struggle with anger management and social interactions in society. “Bro culture” is a topic in all the movies and is very well dramatized on the character Nate Jacobs from “Euphoria”. Nate is a popular student, a football player, with good looks and status. Nate deals with anger and a fragile masculinity which results in toxic interactions within his relations. These traits are used to cover up his emotions as a result to his confusing upbringing and sexual insecurities. Jacobs discovers in a very young age videos of this father having sex or interest in young men and transwomen. For this reason, he becomes someone aggressive and has a bent perception of sex. He ends up having a controversial attitude towards the female figure. Bender from “The Breakfast Club” has a lot of similarities with Nate. Also, in result of a dysfunctional family upbringing. Such as Nate, Bender has anger management issues, a controversial personality and the need of constantly reaffirm himself in front of the others. All the main male characters in these films are a result of how society build them. How we raise our boys to be this alpha type of men. The one who will solve their problems by fighting, being aggressive and being toxic in his personal relations. The dramatization of these men can be stereotyped but reflects our society. And shows the even with the change of generations certain aspects and traits never goes away. Masculinity will always be negatively dramatized if society keeps allowing this type of conduct. The “Bro Culture” can be summarized as guys in groups interacting with each other suppressing their fragile masculinity by being tough, insensible and degrading women to better their self-image. It is the fraternity culture in and out of college. These young age men have their “frat” attitude extended to their workspace. An example of bro culture in a workspace was revealed by the author of the book “Brotopia” Emily Chang.

Here you can read and find reviews about the book. https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/36288143-brotopia

The author uncovers the reality inside big tech companies in Silicon Valley and how unfair and sexist is its environment. After over 300 interviews of employees in those companies, the author breaks the boys club and tells us about how women are asked to be in a bikini in a jacuzzi for a meeting. Or how a Trans woman who for years worked as an engineer for Uber, once she started to present herself as a woman people started to interrupt her in meetings. This exemplifies what most woman goes through in a workspace and in society. Bro culture is simply a sexism social norm. I do not even believe that there is a need to create another expression as “bro culture”. The word is sexism.If you are a “bro” and is wondering if you are part of this “culture”; or if you just want to check if you are in a “bro culture free workspace” I suggest you to read this:

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/300514

The soundtrack of these films could not be put on a side for this discussion. Have you ever watched a film in mute sound? Well, if you did you noticed that the narrative fully depends on the sound to keep their meaning. What would be a horror movie without a spooky soundtrack? The soundtrack of a movie creates the mood, gives emotion, emphasizes a crucial moment and acts as a big factor on continuity. If you ever watched “Euphoria” I am pretty sure you noticed its amazing soundtrack. Their music choices are already impeccable, but I took the challenge and recreated their soundtrack. I choose to add representativity and a bit of my culture to it. By representativity I mean giving voices to transgender, women, fat and black artists. However, the soundtrack is diverse. For the character Kat I used music’s such as “Boys” and “scuse me” by Lizzo, “Tombei” by Karol Comka, “Sugar Daddy” by Qveen Herby, “Bola Rebola” by Anitta and “Bury a friend” by Billie Eilish. These songs would match her scenes and add to the narrative. Rue has moments that goes from emotional dramatic scenes to hyped times in parties over substances. For her I would like to use songs such as “Put a spell on you” by Iza, “Howling for you” by The Black Keys, “The dope show” and “I don’t like the drugs” by Marilyn Mason. Jules can be very well represented by songs such as “The ocean” by the transwoman lead singer from Against Me and “That’s not my name” from The Ting Tings. For continuity and momentum frames I would use “Crybaby” by Lizzo, “You will never find me” by Korn, “Parasite Eve” by Bring me the horizon and “The art of losing” by American Hi-Fi. The beginning of “Baba O’Riley”- The Who, could be a good alternative intro for the show. My new soundtrack for this show became extensive and you are welcome to check it out on my Spotify playlist named “Euphoria Soundtrack”. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0ztvGt1Geg1p2zvrXycroH?si=0m7z8pnyTWWKugwoFBPL4Q

I doubt you don’t know about these series/film, but to continue this youth culture discussion I suggest you watch the UK version of “Skins, “13 reasons why” and “Elephant”. I found “13 reasons why” very similar to “Euphoria” from the topics debated and even the way the directors chose to portray the characters. Both series also have an explanation of the characters and topics followed by the episodes. I would recommend caution on watching this series if you suffer from depression and anxiety.

This way I close this chapter of “Youth Culture” and I can’t wait for our next topic.

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gingerftmnerd · 4 years

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Gods and Mentality: A Comedy From Trechury by Hermes

There are days where I feel fortunate to witness the tides of time wash over mortals whilst it only covers my feet. I am Hermes, god of greek myth, messenger, master of speed, truth, and yes, my legs sprout wings.

Piercings of aged gold run along the humerus and ulna of each wing, swirls of smoke from the soot of tartarus are bestrewn across the inner vane, bandaged by ripped tunic pieces of the fallen. ******** Zeus. The blueprint to the silver daddy. Hair like the wisp of a cloud in a thunderstorm, beard down to his collar, curled and shapen, muscled like marble at 6’2, went mad with power from an unknown source of pure magic; unable to differentiate friend from foe. As I was near to piercing his heart with my spear end of Caduceus inthralld in despair, Zeus fell to his knees with grief and shame. The purple black glow from his eyes started to fade, vowing to use the last of his new found powers to create gems linked to portals between worlds. As well as the given ability to pass on our gifts and mantle to anyone we deemed capable of such a grand responsibility. This would ensure the capability of creating portals to different realms in which to trap the remaining Titans, and seal them off, but to also control the comings and goings between realms of god and man. The only ones to have kept their place in Olympus, would be myself, Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, Persephone, Artemis, Apollo and Diyonisis. It is unknown what happened to Hera, she disappeared after the titans attack on Elysium, 1 year to the day post Titanomachy. The rest either got killed in the battle or by Zeus’ rage. The rest of the survivors retired and passed their powers unto an unsuspecting mortal. Athena managed to find someone of her own decent to pass it on to. Apollo only shows himself when he is needed most, otherwise he stays in the sky (like a bitch); location unknown.

Aphrodite never divulged what had really happened, but the one and only seductress passed her prowess and assets to a young woman of curvacious colour. To whome I share ownership with to a queer burlesque variety club made out of an old opera house, in Paris, France. I couldn’t imagine the thoughts rushing through the minds of those that chose not to pass on their mantle. To choose the end of one’s legacy is a strange thing, but thinking about it now, I understand. There are days where I would love to give it all up and retire, age gracefully with a fat husky, and a dog. I saw the universe at It’s earliest stages. I’ve met or bedded the brightest minds in the arts, sciences, and ever growing society that is the human race. I have my muses stationed all over the world, Ariana, Celine, Lizzo, Pink, you name it. My own Charlies Angels network if you will. Elizabeth would never admit it, but she got the revamp idea from me. (Zeus doesn’t have to know.) Why else do you think women are dominating the music industry these days? All me with a pinch of Aphrodite. She does like a woman with curves. ******** {Athena} “I can’t help but notice the spark in your eyes is fleeting Hermes” {Hermes} “ I believe that spark you used to see was merely an accident. I wouldn’t dream of showing my hand in that of happiness or hope in this dreary world. Politicians played by children, musicians that have no business calling themselves such things, and Instagram is the new body cache” {Athena} “My apologies my lord, I hath not gleaned at the power of your omnipotence to be masked by such millennial trifles” {Hermes} “Firstly, how dare you? Secondly, f*** you” {Athena} “That position has already been filled by those of the female persuasion, my dear” {Hermes} “Well excuse me, greek goddess of myth, war, strategy, compassion and newly added love for strictly vaginas”

{Athena} “Damn right I am!” *Taking a drag out of a well cut and packed cigar* {Hermes} “It is prudent to remember that no one knows who you really are, it may be best to find a front of an occupation. For example, I run a popular european night club, as one does. Even angels have been known to create their own version of heaven on earth from time to time.” {Athena} “I suppose” {Hermes} “Gods like Zeus, Hera, and even Hades refused to deal with such mortal based existences. However, to keep a semblance of order on this plain, it’s best we don’t arouse any suspicion of the court” {Athena} “The court?” {Hermes} “ Ah, yes, she never told you did she? The Court, is a group of over ambitious myth busters of the supernatural occult, magic, gods and monsters, etc etc” “From the first to current leader, they’ve been trying to expose me and the others, as a ‘malevolent god, hungry for power and human enslavement like in the days of old!” {Athena} “That sounds stupid” {Hermes} “Yes. But they exist none-the-less” The Court has been on my trail since the dark ages. They recruit those of man made religious belief; catholics, christians mostly. Johnathan Jobe Jackson ( I’m not sure how anyone can get any more bible thumper than that) is the descendant of Archibald Fredrics. Obsessed with debunking anyone who claimed to be other than the one true God. I’ll say this, I respect all religions and whomever one decides to choose as their patron god. But if you start to light a fire under my ass with holy water at the ready, we’re going to have problems. I might like the being tied up part too much. The best part is their use of selective magicks to help them gain the upper hand. Thankfully they’re incapable of actually killing us; Not for lack of trying, the hierarchy behind The Court is equally nauseating. The lesser are called Acolytes, then Courtiers, then the faction leaders, 7 of which are called Altiorems (Latin for Higher. Pretentious dicks). The worst of the bunch are the Seniorem Unum (Elder One). Three “fine specimens” of magical ingenuity that led to fickle immortality. By that I refer to what happens if any of them use too much magick after their rebirths. Someone failed to mention to them the price of black magic. Jackson is the ‘head boy’ of the Altiorems. He aspires to be one of the immortals, but falls short on IQ requirements. A waste of a man that makes Percy Weasley seem lacking in abundant annoyance. Hazel eyes, at 5’6 ft, and insistent upon wearing a hideous embellishment of a relic crucifix from the early days of Fredrics little book club. The silver and gold engravings look like you could almost peel it off and reveal chocolate. But not the good kind, like 90% dark chocolate with mint filling. Inlaid are what they claim to be shards chipped from old god made gems that give them their power. My theory? Some dumb ass put their trust in a fae or demon and thinks they’re in control. How is it that humans are still alive? No, let me rephrase that, how is it that pedantic, racist, balding monk-wannabe white people are still alive?

#hermes #greekgods #celticgods #pagan #cults #christianfanatics #writers on tumblr #literature #fiction #fantasy #london #paris #nerd #queerauthor

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