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caparrucia · 1 year

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Dog whistles and you: why the words you use matter.

You've probably heard of them, but you have definitely heard them. Dog whistles are a problem in the modern internet, with our hyper focus on respectability politics and social media's aggressive push to simplify all concepts and erode all sort of nuance.

When people use them and when people point it out, people get really fucking angry, both ways, and it can be a little hard to understand why and what people are actually angry about. So let's try and untangle that a bit.

Content warnings! We're gonna be talking about Nazis and other genocidal groups, so that's always fun. We're also gonna tangentially discuss misogyny, antiblackness, antisemitism and sexual assault, sexual abuse, pedophilia and zoophilia. The tangential warnings are only applicable to non-explicit discussions of dog whistles in section 3. Sections 1 and 2 do not go into detail about specific dog whistles. I will reiterate the content warnings in section 3.

1. What are dog whistles?

Dog whistles are not actual, literal dog whistles, but it does help to know what an actual, literal dog whistle is, to understand the metaphor. A dog whistle is a whistle designed to be heard by a dog, but crucially and most importantly, not by a person. When you toot on the thing, it makes a quiet, almost imperceptible sound, but if you've trained a dog with it, the dog will go fucking bonkers. The science of it is actually really cool and has to do with the range of intensity of stimuli that different animals can perceive. You know how dogs have an infinitely better smelling sense than you or me? Their hearing is different. That whistle you and I can't really hear, they hear loud and clear.

So what are the metaphorical dog whistles about then? They follow the same principle. Metaphorical dog whistles (I'm gonna call them just dog whistles for the rest of this thing, because I'm lazy, but you're smart and we already defined the terms, so I trust you to keep up) are words with different meanings depending on the audience. That's not inherently malicious, or unique to dog whistles. 99% of the crude humor of humanity comes from that sort of thing: cock is a male bird of a domestic fowl species, and also a bad word that will get you demonetized from Corporate controlled internet if you say/type it anywhere a payment processor can see. So there has to be more to them, than having multiple meanings.

Specifically, dog whistles have "Jekill and Hyde" style meanings. One of them is pretty harmless, benign even. Completely innocent and not at all suspicious. The meaning equivalent of that scene in Snow White with the forest animals being all cute and soft and nice. But then there's the other meaning, and that meaning is not so nice. It can be a shorthand for a slur, or one of the highlights of a conspiracy theory, or represent a shorthand for something genocidal in nature. I'll go in more detail in the next section.

This is where most people stop talking about dog whistles, but I'm not gonna do that, because I think the next two things, that are also required for a dog whistle to be a dog whistle, are actually the most important. And the fact most people never stop to think about them is why dog whistles are so effective. So let's say the quiet part out loud now.

The third characteristic of dog whistles is that their nefarious meaning is in fact a nefarious secret meaning. That means this meaning is part of a closed system of belief. It's like the secret wizard password to enter the forbidden tree house club, except the wizards are Nazis, members of the KKK and other assorted genocidal fucktwits. It's not a nice club to be in, is what I'm trying to say, and the people in that club are generally acknowledged to be not very nice themselves. You might think I'm being glib here, but this is the important bit. Socially speaking, these clubs for genocidal dickheads are considered bad to some degree. There's at least a modicum of societal pressure to discourage people from belonging to these groups. If you're a Nazi and your boss finds out, they will fire you. If you're a Nazi and you walk into a bar, you're likely to get beaten up and told to never come back. Blatant, open membership to these groups is discouraged*, and therefore they need to come up with language and symbols that they understand to be supporting their ideology, but which might not get immediately recognized by outsiders, thus prompting that social retribution they're trying to avoid.

*This is why people are really freaked out by the rise of extremist social and political movements in today's world, because every time an alt-right dudebro feels comfortable just spouting the N word or beating a random trans person in the subway, and they're not immediately and swiftly punished by anyone from bystanders to the actual legal system, those social pressures start letting up and the scum starts to float up into the surface. This is why the punching Nazis rhetoric works. It's a 0 tolerance policy that keeps genocidal ideologies marginalized and out of public consideration.

And let me just say this on its own, yes, genocidal ideologies should be marginalized and kept out of public consideration. Because they're genocidal. There is nothing of value to be found in genocidal ideologies, and extending them any kind of consideration makes you complicit in the very real, actual genocide they're working towards. Yes, really.

The last characteristic of a dog whistle is also the most important and the one people get tripped by the most: It refers to a dog whistle's ability to launder the philosophy of the group that created it, planting the seeds of it in the public sphere and priming people to be radicalized. One of the most common, and frankly distressing, reactions I see whenever someone gets called out for using dog whistles is "it's okay, I'm not a [insert relevant genocidal group here], it's okay if I use it, because the idea behind the word is actually useful!" Intent does not change the nature of a dog whistle. Dog whistles are in fact designed to trick you into doing their work for them. Dog whistles are bad, because when you use them, you lend your credibility to them. So the next time your friends/family/followers see an actual Nazi use them, they will use you as a frame of reference, and give the Nazi a pass. "My friend/relative/fave uses this word all the time, and THEY aren't a Nazi, so what are the chances that this guy is? Besides, all Nazis wear swastikas and like, shaved heads or something. Nah." Congratulations, you have become complicit in the breakdown of the system that's supposed to keep those Nazis out and allowed one of them to walk in and make themselves at home in your community.

Hearing people constantly use dog whistles desensitizes people and erodes their ability to see them for what they are. It makes it normal to use loaded language - and all dog whistles are loaded language - and makes it hard to police and expel those who use that loaded language for its actual nefarious intent.

It's also important to know a lot of dog whistles are "ship of Theseus"'d into sounding reasonable, for the purpose of making people more receptive to extremist ideas and concepts. By that I mean, they start from their very obviously genocidal talking point, and then slowly replace bits and pieces, laundering it until it sounds... you know, reasonable. Understandable. Most of the time they achieve this by targeting strong emotional responses and priming people to accept concepts that are fundamentally against their best interests, but presented in a way that appeals to emotionality and discourages thinking through the implications.

2. "If you hear the whistle, you're the dog" and other bad takes that need to go die in a fire.

So now that we're all on the same page about what dog whistles are and what purpose they serve, we need to talk about what to do about them. Yes, I'm gonna go into that before going into a not extensive and definitely not exhaustive list of dog whistles, because I love you and also because this is tumblr and you guys have a habit of trying to turn everything into a fucking standard rule to then beat up people with. No-nuance, all-outrage mentality in social media is the thing dog whistles are designed to exploit. So let's do our part to not... you know. Do that.

My least favorite rule that people have come up with to try and deal with dog whistles while doing the least amount of critical thinking ever is the infamous witticism "if you hear the whistle, you're the dog." This means that if you understand the dog whistle, you must be its target audience (you know, the Nazi one) and therefore you're a bad person. This is extremely stupid if you spend two seconds thinking about it, so let's do that: if the ideal is for people to "not be the dog", ie, "not hear the whistle" and therefore not understand the second, hidden meaning of the dog whistle, that would mean the ideal is for the dog whistle to work just as intended. Which is a bad thing, need I remind you, since the thing dog whistles are working towards is normalizing and encouraging the acceptance of explicitly genocidal ideologies. Which are bad! And you know they're bad! Because they're explicitly aiming for genocide! But this stupid nugget of stupidity goes one step further and also penalizes those who are being targeted by the dog whistle's users. Remember, genocides target people. Groups of people, to be precise, that the genocide promoters have built an entire ideology to justify why they get to commit genocide against this specific group of people. The justifications and reasons don't have to be very good - they can't, in fact, be good at all, because genocide is never okay, and if you find yourself trying to argue, you might want to take a few steps back and figure out when you got poisoned by genocide ideologies - in the sense that they don't need to be logical or reasonable. They just fill in a gap in the thought process. Whenever people do something, someone will ask them why, and genocide is surprisingly no different in that regard. So the justifications and reasonings are all salad dressing. They're all bad and meaningless and stupid, because they're being used to justify genocide, and genocide is unjustifiable by definition. The point is don't try to argue about the reasons, the reasons are fake and don't matter and they're there only to trap people into perpetual argumentative sinkholes which often only create more net harm by virtue of putting all that genocidal rhetoric in your public space. Incidentally, this is why deplatforming and denying the space to defend/argue/discuss genocidal ideologies is the preferred method to deal with them, exposure to them is in itself inherently harmful and there's nothing productive to come with allowing them the chance to explain why they think genocide is actually a good idea.

ANYWAY, the point is: if you're a group that has been targeted by these genocidal ideologies, you need to be able to decode and understand the secret, hidden meaning behind those dog whistles. You have to. Otherwise you're gonna end up a gruesome statistic some dipshit politician will try to use to two-side the issue on Fox News. You can then see how it's incredibly stupid, not to mention unspeakably offensive, to tell people who are being targeted by genocidal dipshits, that if they understand what the genocidal dipshits are really trying to say (remember, that THEY specifically should be genocided), they might in fact be the genocidal dipshits themselves.

Yes, "if you hear the whistle, you're the dog" is a very witty, very snappy, very catchy phrase. It's also incredibly fucking stupid and also goddamn insulting. Stop using it. Stop rewarding people who use it. Be fucking better.

Okay, so. What now? What to do if you catch someone using a dog whistle? Well, the most important thing to do is to not immediately accuse them of being a Nazi or belonging to the assorted genocidal dipshit group of choice. Super not do that in public. I know, it sounds counterintuitive, specially since we just affirmed that "punch the Nazi" is a perfectly valid and effective rhetorical device to get rid of Nazis. But the thing with dog whistles is that they're also bait. They're juicy, tender bait almost lab designed to get normal people - you know, people who don't hold genocidal beliefs and in fact think genocide is super bad and forever unjustifiable - frothing mad. Remember that dog whistles have two meanings, and that allows the genocidal dipshits to go "see? These people are mad! They're insane! They are the real reactionaries, they see malicious evil in every little thing!" and they will use every single dogpile to punctuate their statement and justify themselves. That's what dog whistles are designed to do, remember? They condition people to find genocidal ideology acceptable even when they rationally would not.

Ideally, if you know this person and you have the emotional and psychological bandwidth to do some education, you should reach out in private and offer to explain why the seemingly innocent thing the person posted is actually super bad. And I do mean explain. You need to explain on the history of the dog whistle, the purpose of the dog whistle, and emphasize that it's not an indictment of their character or an attempt to imply they're nefarious or malicious themselves, but rather that they've fallen prey to a scam by literal genocidal dipshits. This is... a lot. It's hard. People are very defensive at the smallest insinuation that they might be spewing Nazi talking points. It's often demeaning and exasperating work, and while it does work, it's just a sinkhole of resources that could be better spent in other, more pressing causes that also need attention because we have a bit of an epidemic and these genocidal dipshits keep popping up everywhere. It's also very exhausting for actual targets of the genocidal dipshits to have to argue with people that "that thing you said is used to call for the genocide of people like me, no really, please stop" and have to spend time pampering and reassuring people who go into literal hysterics trying to prove THEY are not the bad ones, how DARE you.

So what DO you do? Realistically? No one knows for sure. There isn't a wide-spread, peer-reviewed, fits-all-sizes solution. This is exactly the kind of thing dog whistles are designed to get around: there's no dogmatic, stringent rule that will make it so you can always tell if something is a dog whistle and how to make people stop using them. But that doesn't mean there's nothing you can do. You can be critical and thoughtful about the content you consume and platform in your spaces*. You can prioritize the voices of those being targeted by the openly genocidal dipshits and listen and pay attention when they tell you "hey, this thing? this thing is BAD." Encourage self-reflection in yourself and your social circle. When you foster a culture that welcomes people making mistakes and being corrected/nudged into being better about things, the emotional tax of finding out you've been platforming hate speech in disguise is significantly less.

*Being critical and thoughtful about the content you consume doesn't mean falling into purity culture rabbit holes where you must only consume and platform THE PUREST AND MOST UNPROBLEMATIC OF THINGS, but rather understand that the framing of content is important and you can do your part to minimize harm by extending simple courtesies like adding trigger or content warnings, and being critical about the sort of thing you platform and put in your followers' feed. Sometimes the Nazis are being obtuse on purpose, hoping you will get angry enough to dunk on them in public and therefore grant them and their toxic rhetoric access to your entire platform. Their bait is very tempting, but you're better than that.

And when private/polite/off-screen attempts to get someone to stop using a dog whistle inevitably fail, stop engaging with that person entirely, and instead platform the fact the dog whistle is a dog whistle and why. I don't mean "cut that person off your life entirely", though you might have to, if you eventually realize that not only did they knew they were using a dog whistle, they were doing so purposefully all this time. And that's heartbreaking and awful, because no one likes to find out someone in their social circle is a literal genocidal dipshit. But that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about larger scale education that robs the dog whistle of its most valuable asset: plausible deniability. When you make a post explaining that a certain word or a certain phrase is a dog whistle, and explain the history and weight of it, you break the dog whistle. The more people know to recognize it, the less it works for its intended purpose. And the most effective way of doing this is by focusing on the dog whistle itself, and not the people who use them. Don't single out individuals, because then your informative post has become a call out and be dismissed as drama or grudge wank. Focus on the fact that it's not the people who say these words that are the problem, it's the people who keep insisting they should use those words.

See, the thing about fighting genocidal ideologies is that you're not targeting individual people. Or even groups of people. This is not about starting a morality crusade against X or Y. It's about dismantling the tools of genocide. It's about reinforcing those societal pressures that keep them hidden in the corners and denies them power and influence to actually enact their genocidal goals.

They are a fucking fringe minority at the very edges of society, is the point, and they should never be allowed to forget it.

3. What are some dog whistles you should keep an eye out for?

So there's a lot of them and there's not enough time in the actual universe to cover all of them. That's the shitty thing about genocidal dipshits and their dog whistles. As soon as you demystify one, they've come up with another one. Any list will by necessity be incomplete. Resist the urge to turn this urge to categorize things into your personal white whale, and remember a dogmatic, rigid approach of "acceptable vs unacceptable words" is precisely the kind of system dog whistles are designed to get around.

I will not be covering anti-black or antisemitic dog whistles. Because I'm neither black nor Jewish, and as we just discussed, you should be listening and platforming THOSE voices whenever attacks at them come up. I'm going to focus on the dog whistles in this post, which is what sent me down this rabbit hole in the first place. I replied to that post to comment on an unrelated situation but I made a point to mention the dog whistles and several people came back and asked me about it.

I'm linking to my own reblog chain of it, because OP has deleted the original post. I wanna make clear this is not an accusation or an attack on OP. I don't know OP from Adam and I don't feel qualified to say if they're using these dog whistles in any harmful way, beyond the inherent harm that comes with giving credibility to dog whistles at all. I can't believe I have to say this explicitly in this year of our lord 2022, but please do not harass, abuse or otherwise inconvenience OP. We literally just went over how that doesn't work when it comes to deplatforming dog whistles. I'm just giving context and full disclosure, okay?

Okay.

Let's go.

Content warnings! Again! We're gonna be talking about Nazis and other genocidal groups, so that's always fun. We're also gonna tangentially discuss misogyny, antiblackness, antisemitism and sexual assault, sexual abuse, pedophilia and zoophilia.

"Cancel Culture." Cancel culture began - and this is extremely common - as a term within the black community to refer to the tactic of using social pressure to force racist bigots to face consequences for their racist bigotry. It was also in use within the #MeToo movement, to sort of crowdfund consequences for people with too much social, political or financial capital, which allowed them to just... not face consequences for their behavior. And yeah, ostracizing bigots is an excellent way to get rid of bigots or at least minimize the effects of their bigotry. It's so effective that's what dog whistles are for. The thing is, Cancel Culture has now been appropriated by the very people it was meant to be used again. Racist white people decry Cancel Culture when they are faced with the consequences of their actions, labeling them instead as abusive or unwarranted. The term has been thoroughly poisoned and the only people you hear talking about it seriously, phrasing it as this big, evil thing that must be stopped, are the right wing pundits who make their money out of making people feel threatened by changing social mores. Most people think that "less net bigotry in the world" is a good thing. But if your entire grift is based on bigotry, then this is a personal attack on you. Cancel culture is being used now as a short hand to express how very obvious consequences to one's actions are in fact malicious targeted abuse. This prioritizes the bigots over their victims, makes it nearly impossible to have conversations about actual reparations and presents the notion of "hey, if you're a bigot people won't like you" as if it were an outlandish, unnatural position to take. You can tell OP is actually using the dog whistle version of this in their post, because they're not talking about consequences to someone's actions, but explicitly framing a disproportionate, malicious and unwarranted harassment campaign as "Cancel Culture." OP themselves defines "Cancel Culture" in their post, and this is actually a huge problem when it comes to the proliferation of dog whistles. When you assume you know the root of an idiom and you define it in the context of your own usage, you may be inadvertently mainstreaming something that you shouldn't. Maybe you heard this from a trusted youtuber or a friend, and you understand the way THEY use it, and you use it THAT way, you don't mean it in the weirdo way. But you should make a habit to track down the history of idioms before you use them. For one, because everyone could stand to use their words more precisely and make sure that the words they're using actually mean what they want them to mean. But for another, because understanding the history of idioms is a very good way of avoiding boot in mouth syndrome.

"Purity Culture." This is also a dog whistle! And I used it in the text of this post! Except not really. In this post I'm using the original sense of the phrase, OP is using the dog whistle version. (Are you starting to see why if you look too hard at dog whistles you're gonna end up going a little bit insane?) Purity culture originally refers to misguided, reactionary rejection of the slippery slope fallacy that "nothing is pure, therefore, there's no point." Purity culture refers to this idea of treating every single slight, infraction or "taint" equally across the board, without any space for nuance or context. There's two dog whistles around this term, actually! One of them is from the pro-censorship camp, who treats purity culture as an ideal and dresses it up in "responsible media consumption" and "child-appropriate spaces" to try and gloss over the fact they're pro-fascist censorship tools and restrictions, they just think the problem is they're not targeting the right people and concepts. You can identify this lot very quickly because they love to use the word "freak" in a derogatory fashion. They're also real bad at nuance and super fond of historical revisionism. The other dog whistle is, hilariously, the exact opposite of this. This is coming from the actual, no joke, pro-sexual abuse corner of the internet (think, pedophilia, zoophilia, incest, etc, anything that it's reasonably considered indefensible because it's predicated on forcing sexual concepts and acts upon people and living creatures who do not and cannot consent to it). Their version of purity culture is framing any negative criticism of their actions and interests as an attempt to censor and unjustly ostracize them. I need to be very clear here that I'm definitely not talking about fiction here. We're not talking about people who like to read stories about this sort of content. We're talking about people who are actually committing these acts in real life, to real people, children and animals. We need to make that distinction, because that's what the dog whistle is arguing. They infiltrate groups that are staunchly anti-censorship and frame themselves as victims of prosecution but the things they're being prosecuted for are not art, text or other materials rooted in trasgressive fiction. They're really annoying and really detrimental to the fight against censorship, because every time one of these idiots is outed for the miserable fucking monster they are, pro-censorship folk immediately rush in to reframe the conversation as if anti-censorship groups are unquestionably supporting and defending the indefensible.

"Virtue Signaling." I unironically love this dog whistle, personally, because it betrays the massive chasm within the worldview of the people who use it. Virtue signaling is the concept of doing good things, for the sake of other people thinking you're good. It's the cry of alt-right pseudointellectuals who posit that people don't actually care about racism and sexism and transphobia and homophobia and xenophobia and religious intolerance and any of the other social evils they've decided they want to champion instead. No! People secretly support these things, it's just that it's socially unacceptable to do so, so they must pretend. They must play their part in the social farce, and make sure everybody knows they have done so, waving a flag that signals all who see it that they are one of them. I genuinely love this one because they always use "virtue signaling" as a derogatory term, it is always framed in a negative way, like this is evidence of the social contract falling to pieces. The thing is, this is a feature, not a bug. Yeah, you have to publicly decry bigotry and fall in step with the social mores of your community, and yeah, we want communities that see bigotry as some sort of social suicide. Society should actually ostracize and push out bigoted, disruptive individuals, because bigotry itself is a betrayal of the social contract. If you refuse to participate in society by abiding its rules, yeah, you don't get to be part of society. And yeah, we don't care about thought crime. Be a bigot in your head all you want, I want a society that punishes you severely if you ever decide to ACT on those thoughts, tho. That's a functional society. That's a good thing. The people who use "virtue signaling" unironically are trying to grapple with their own hypocrisy, with the fact they spew out hateful, genocidal nonsense but they know damn well they would be utterly destroyed if they tried to act out on it, so instead they've come up with a way to say "society decries and rejects everything I stand for, and I refuse to be a martyr to my ideals so I'm just going to be a cowardly, hateful idiot and pretend that makes me better than everyone else."

The post itself is pushing a fairly reasonable message: harassment = bad. The problem is that in utilizing dog whistles the message is muddled, and a pretty straightforward message becomes twisted enough to allow spaces for the beneficiaries of those dog whistles to misappropriate and excuse their actions. That's literally what @jabberwockypie and myself were doing in that post, in response to Flamethrower's reply.

Notice how Flamethrower conveniently used the definition of "cancel culture" that matches the dog whistle, in an attempt to shield herself from criticism and then frame the consequences of her actions as abuse and harassment. THAT is why dog whistles matter and why it's important not to engage with them. Because they open the door for bad actors to justify themselves and skirt responsibility for their actions.

Don't let them.

4. Yeah, okay, Rie, but that's like 5K worth of words, do you have any sources for all that?

I'm so fucking glad you asked!

What’s wrong with dogwhistles

https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/2020/08/21/racist-roots-dog-whistle/

https://www.jstor.org/stable/26529439

@innuendostudios's The Alt-Right Playbook is an excellent resource in identifying the tools of radicalization, but most importantly his sources are an excellent way to familiarize yourself with all this nonsense.

5. Now what?

IDK, do your best. Keep trying. Forgive yourself for fucking up and commit to learning from it.

Mostly, be kind. To yourself and to others, but specially those who are being targeted by genocidal dipshits.

And remember, if someone tells you the solution to your problems is the complete extermination of a group of people... that person is not your friend, that's an asshole looking for an alibi. You deserve better than that.

#shut up rie

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wellofdean · 4 months

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I have somehow never gotten embroiled in spn drama before, and I didn't mean to this time, but I feel I've been implicated in some following comments and reblogs (@blue-chimera) of this post from @scoobydoodean , and many apologies for anything I've said to annoy a person who writes a blog I very much enjoy!

I don't want to pile on to that post, so I am making my own.

If I understand rightly, @scoobydoodean feels that some of the comments Dean makes in season 4, written by new writers on the show, are out of character and down to bad writing, and specifically Dean's comments about the legality of the cheerleaders at the HS in 4x13 are inexcusable. Further, the point was made that times have changed since that was written and those comments might not be written for Dean if they were written today. For the record, I think that last bit is probably true. And, I agree the comments are in bad taste, AND I agree that Dean is not a creeper or a misogynist, so his saying them is not reflection of his actual character or his desires. Finally, I strongly agree with @scoobydoodean's point that it is demonstrably true that Dean's actual interactions with women clearly show that he is not a misogynist, no matter what nonsense he says when he is posturing.

@scoobydoodean has excluded the concept of "performing Dean" from consideration, with the acknowledgement that yes, he does do that, and rightly feels that some of the replies received don't respond to the point made in the post, which is that these comments specifically are about underage girls and are qualitatively different from previous episodes in which Dean makes icky comments about girls/women. And, please do correct me if I have misunderstood or misrepresented something here! If I have, I most humbly apologise.

I just want to be clear: I was in fact responding to these points. I went back and checked the comments in both episodes (4x07 and 4x13) and I feel like they are of a piece with other things Dean has said for the reasons I gave: Dean responds to certain representations of feminine stereotype in a way that is almost like a trigger -- that includes barmaids in hot pants, sorority girls, and cheerleaders.

There are a lot of comments saying that this is for Sam's benefit, and I think in part it is, but I think it goes deeper into trauma/conditioning territory because it's almost like a reflex, and in fact the whole episode is about the traumatic young lives of both brothers, with a secondary theme of things boys do to prove their credit in the straight world of tough boys.

I think it's hard for me to exclude "performing Dean" from the consideration of his yucky comments in this specific episode because the episode begins with Sam saying that when he was afraid of the *thing in his closet* their dad gave him a gun and Dean tells him that his blind faith in their dad is just "being a good son".

Then, teen Dean spends a significant amount of time in this episode making out with girls unfeelingly *in a closet* and in fact a significant portion of this episode is actually about the very topic of Dean unthinkingly performing hetero-masculinity out of some form of alienated desperation, and being called out for it by the girl ("you spend so much time trying to convince people that you're cool, but it's just an act. We both know that you're just a sad… lonely little kid. And I feel sorry for you, Dean.")

I guess that's why I disagree that this is bad writing. Both Sam and Dean are revisiting the scene of previous trauma and resulting misdeeds -- little Sam proved his masculine bonafides by beating up and humiliating a boy whose own bullying behaviour stemmed from his pain and the loss of his mother, and big Dean is still, in some ways, the same little boy who feels he has to posture and prove he's cool or in charge somehow ("the whistle makes me their god" and "three of the cheerleaders are legal, guess which ones?")

So, I am responding to your points. I don't agree it's bad writing. I think it fits the themes of the episode and it's amplified enough that you notice it as particularly cringeworthy, because that kind of posturing and how damaging it is to the souls of little boys is in fact the theme of the episode.

#supernatural #4x17 #meta #many apologies for dragging this one #I honestly don't want to harangue anyone #I just like thinking about supernatural #and i think supernatural is about damaging patriarchal relationships

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birthclod · 8 months

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top 5 silmira characters? educate the masses my friend

so uh this got a LOT longer than i anticipated because im very normal about this series. anyways. this is all under the cut

megido and har birthclod

obvious answers. they're my blorbos so of course they're #1. they fucking hate each other <3

megido is far and beyond my favorite ofc. he dresses very classy but is self-motivated and ruthless. he has a rose motif. his idle animation is him shimmying. just look at him. he looks like if jet was a piece of shit (he already is, but not an ~Evil~ piece of shit)

he turns into a fucked up mutated version of himself if his brother dies bc har stabilizes the balance between their attributes so he becomes a weird looking dog version of himself. it's my favorite thing in the whole world.

and har (or hal) is your main villain. he wants to rule the world as it is in spite of his brother who wants it to change back. he's a terrible dad (and yes, the guardian angels do call him dad(dy), it's true). doesn't care what sacrifices are made as long as he can accomplish what he wants to.

also he has muppet mouth sometimes. it's great.

2. zohar metatron / sandalphon

treasure literally gave us this bigender/genderfluid LEGEND and said "here's your rival, they can just switch between attributes on a whim like you" and then doesn't play it for laughs at all. they're like your jealous sibling who learned how to whistle before you did and then when you show them you can also whistle they're like NO FAIR I DID IT FIRST.

also, they can turn into this against their will.

it's supposedly very painful. they have no control over it and they don't even want to fight the protagonist at that point. but it does have the best boss music in the game.

youtube

3. faust and sara

i know i keep putting pairs together but I CAN'T HELP IT there's so many good characters in this game. also they're in literally the same area so i should be allowed this one

faust and sara are both hosts of their respective game shows in media city. faust is silhouette and his show revolves around shadow puppetry used as real objects to fight against shyna (including, i kid you not, a fucking tank). sara is mirage and her show is a gambling show with an enormous slot machine. faust gets very little screentime and dialogue but he's just. fucking cool? look at him??? i have no screenshots of his boss fight sadly but it's such a wicked concept. also at the end he turns into a bomb and fucking? explodes??? for the ratings to go up. insane.

sara gets a little more time and she's awesome. here's what she really looks like:

she doesn't like being touched (meaning you can't rob her for money for long, an actual thing you do in this game to get money) and she's so fucking snarky i love her. here's my favorite voice clip of hers, it plays when you finish her fight:

4. serah (featuring delia)

very close name with sara but don't be fooled, they are VERY different! giant fucking butterfly woman!!!

serah was the very first guardian angel, and although it didn't make her the messiah, it did make her a gigantic fucking butterfly. her japanese name is seraphim. you can only fight her under the specific instance that during the last fight with zohar the time limit runs out before you beat them, and then har deletes (re: kills) them in front of you and brings out serah as a more "worthy adversary". also, this is her unique boss theme:

youtube

i say featuring delia on the title because delia is connected to her and it'd feel kind of wrong to mention one and not the other. their relationship is only ever implied and not stated outright, but the implication is that they were (are?) married, especially before serah became a guardian angel. the title "your wife is an angel" is referential to this, and har even threatens delia that if he didn't comply he would hurt his precious serah. (in the original japanese, the translation for that part is that he would be forced to "forward" serah; it sounds like an email, but it's supposed to imply he'd put her at the front lines of battle). also, i just wanted to show off delia because he is the third nose guy in this game

you wanna know what his boss fight is? if you guessed "you fight him on his game show where he makes soup and you throw silhouettes into his soup to hurt him", you'd be correct!

5. dynamis

i have nothing to say. just look at her.

she just wants to sell you some flowers. pretty freakin' flowers. :)

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

pablo (a lad, honestly. look at him. absolutely harmless until he turns into a wolf.)

prinsdams (you never fight them because they eat you. also the one on the right has a surfer dude voice it's amazing. he calls shyna little dudette and everything.)

shyna nera shyna (how could i ever leave out our main girl?)

#talk to the cookie #ask meme #mutuals tag #sougetsusen #silhouette mirage #THIS GOT. LONG. OOPS </3

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praphit · 1 year

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Ant-Man 3: “B**ch Be**er have my M**ey!”

It sucks, you know?? When you have a high expectation for something and it turns out to be a dud: whether it's a movie or an album, a restaurant...

a Super Bowl Halftime Show... With a Marvel movie, you're excited, others see it first, and the reactions are -

You're like "NO!"

BUT, you find the polar opposite reactions as well... although THOSE reactions are coming from kids, or people who were drunk/high while watching, or people who show up to the theater like this guy -

So, what are you supposed to believe? (Kids, Lesson Time: "Don't have expectations.")

I'm sure you've heard certain complaints about Ant-Man 3 already. I will say that most of those complaints are 100. Does that mean the movie is bad?

It starts off with the loveable Scott Lang, skipping and whistling down the street; not a care in the world, and feeling himself, cuz he has taken sole responsibility for saving the world ("End Game"). And why not?? - he's been a joke for a while, so take that victory lap, big boy.

Then, there's of course The QUANTUM REALM, which everyone keeps saying is so dangerous, and yet, in every Ant-Man movie, somebody goes there. This movie is no different and

OH NOOOOOOOOOOO!

it happened again.

The problem is that this time they really shouldn't have gone back, cuz Janet (Michelle MuthaBleepin Pfeiffer)

was stingy with the details of her 30 year trip to and back from The Quantum Realm. She failed to mention her Summer fling with the newest super villain KANG (J.Majors -

known to the acting community as "The Shit").

Was it a Summer fling? They don't paint that picture, but... they were alone for a very long time, they saved each others lives, they were fixing things in a very sweaty manner; banging and grunting, and they were sharing intimate parts of their lives with each other, so... she also may have been banging some military alien, maybe this thirsty piece

, and definitely this guy.

But, I digress :) (You go, gurl.)

She finds out that Kang is a monster

(A time/dimension traveler, who has been around for ever and has the most advanced tech as a result.... oh, and he has an Alexander the Great mindset) , and abandons him there to go back to her family.

She didn't mention any of that to her family! Way to go, Janet!

So, the mission is everyone get home and don't let Kang follow you.

Problem is they got split up.

OK, so this part I loved!

We got to explore this new world, which is visually very cool. In fact, the CGI throughout most of this movie is satisfying (especially with 3D action). There are a few things that this movie does that are really interesting:

The whole evolution thing (it's a new world with all kinds of life in it, doing lively things).

They do something really cool with the language that different species speak.

There is some sort of "probability realm", which we see a lil bit of in the trailer - an interesting concept, that is unfortunately not explored enough.

The tech is dope! And everytime we see Kang! Whew! Jonathan Majors nails it! He's calm, collected, focused, and scary. The Ant-Man family may be playing around, but he aint, and I love it. Oh, and the ants! I frickin loved the ants!

Have I said enough good things about this? :) Are we clear? I'm a PMB (Proud Marvel Bitch), so it's not always easy for me to criticize them. It feels similar to Rihanna's Super Bowl Halftime Show. I had to say a bunch of nice (and true) things first, before... you know... There's no way to criticize a pregnant woman without sounding like a jerk, especially if that pregnant woman is Rihanna. But...

I love Rihanna, btw.

OK.

Visually, stunning... but everything concerning the story is a hot mess. To save time on this rant I will simply boil the prob down to its root:

Too much going on:

It was a simple plot! Get yo asses home, and tell Kang to bleep off! MARVEL! why couldn't you have just kept it simple?!

There's all of the secrets with Janet; her secret lives (and ex's:), there's all of the family drama ( and the family lessons this movie attempts to teach us), there's all of the natives and their bullshit, there's M.O.D.O.K.... I really hated him; like everything about him. He's supposed to look weird, but...

MARVEL, YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS.

They made him some moron from the first movie, and there's a whole thing with him being a dick. For a family movie, they use the word "dick" so much. There's no way that children walk away from this movie, and "dick" doesn't become their new favorite word.

There is way too much going on with Kang. They explain it, but.... not very well. His story is explained way better in Loki season 1. One of the criticisms of the movie is that this whole film is just a set-up for Kang - which it is. I have no problem with that, but then do it properly. Give us more Kang (in story). We'll be getting all kinds of Kangs soon (time traveling is a dick). I feel like the uncovering of Kang's (and multiple Kangs) story is like helping a hoarder clean out their living room - you've been tossing junk out for hours and it still looks like a mess.

There are also some plot holes, which I won't say anything about, except this - Kang has all of this HI-Tech stuff, so why is he struggling so much with Ant-Man and The Wasp... AND the Cassie.

May I talk about The Wasp and The Cassie??!

In the trailer, all I saw was Kang kicking Ant-Man's ass up and down The Quantum Realm; practicing for "Creed III" He's also in a room where Kang is stomping the hell out of his skull, like Ant-Man owed him some money.

Don't act like you forgot, Scott!

The whole time, I'm like - "WHERE IS THE WASP?! DOES SHE NOT SEE HER MAN GETTING BEAT UP?!" - her name is still in the title isn't it?! Pull your weight, lady!

Now, she's there, and saves him quite a bit, but my point is they didn't really promote her, because they know that she doesn't really matter. I'm sorry if that sounds mean, but it's true. After that second Ant-Man movie, her character just... idk... becomes forgettable.

She's just a tag-on to the franchise. Was she in The End Game battle? I think so... but I don't remember. Was she at the funeral in that movie? I don't remember. Any other Marvel important moments? Was she in any of the "What If" stuff? I think so, but I don't remember. Is she mentioned at all in any other Marvel movies or shows? I don't remember. Not only do I not remember, but it doesn't matter. We never got to know her that well. She doesn't need to be here. Someone that we care more about could have let Ant-Man get beat up, and then at the last second, save him.

The Cassie? - same thing. And enough with these younger characters who are super geniuses. We only need one, and we have Spider-Man. We all know that most kids are dumb (No offense. Not you kids who might read this... other kids. Your Uncle Rambling Praphit is rooting for you... stay in school). Cassie, whom we don't really know, shows up all ready to fight and hogging up some scene time from Ant-Man.

She was all like "Care about me, audience! I'm young! I'm smart! I'm a girl! And I'm just as good as my dad, Ant-Man, even though I've had no training. YAY! Follow me!"

I was like "Who is this clown? I don't know you. Your daddy cares about you, so I guess I will, but,,, speaking of your daddy, can we get back to him?? " These tag-ons just don't have any personality for themselves. There's no reason to be excited about them.

Tag-on after tag-on: Wasp, Cassie, Michael Douglas, Chidi from the Good Place...

this chick (who seems cool).

It's too much! I loved the world, and it's beautiful... the kids out there and or the people who saw this movie while high will love it, but can we stick to a character developement??!

Give me the ever delightful Paul Rudd, skipping and whistling through new world, cracking jokes. Give me Michellle Pfeiffer, action hero, blowing things up in this new world, and having Summer flings with aliens. Give me Kang, torturing and zapping his way through the miracle of life in this new world, while explaining just what the hell his problem is! But, pick one! Dammit, Marvel!

Grade?! I don't even know! I’m exhausted by my own rant.

Much like The Wasp, it just doesn't matter. We'll say a generous C- Same reaction I had after watching that Super Bowl Halftime Show, I guess... I said afterwards... "Well, she's pregant. How bout that??"

("But, what did you think of her performance?")

"Um... pregnant. I love her though. Her catalog... whew! I kinda wish she did CHEERS tho... I guess she can't promote alcohol at a family event. The aggression of Bitch better have my money and the brutality of football is fine, but not alcohol... everybody knows that."

("But, her performance?")

There's a show called "Fringe" Once upon a time, it was one of my favs. It was kinda like X-Files meets X-Men... kinda. But, then in later seasons they got into different dimensions and time travel and the show became hard to follow. You knew of one character, but then met a "variant" version, and then had to learn about them all over again.

Marvel is in danger of this. You've gotta be on your game to write stories on this type of level.

On your game like Steph Curry at practice when he shoots like 48 for 50 from half court. I feel like Marvel has been more like 5 for 50. Now, it's game time, and they're like "We're ready! Let's do this!" And I'm like, "We're so f**king doomed." smh

I hope I'm wrong.

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vinxwatches · 11 months

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little demon

heard about this show because apparently christians where whining about how it's demonic and how it's about the antichrist and satan reconnecting with his daughter or something. as a massive fan of helluva boss this is obviously right up my alley, so lets see if it's any good.

starting with a birth that's not terrible to watch and a joke that got me to... well it wasn't lol, more a spit take when you have nothing in your mouth. well played. if nothing else it at least starts with one good joke.

"assume everyone is a murderer until proven otherwise." this show got the jokes. also the antichrist is named christina, because of course. also like the eye pin, can't wait for it to become a real eye or something.

also it seems to be a show about growing up as a girl... so... i expect some jealousy. i keep laughing out loud at the jokes, and i love the relationship already, and i'm 9 minutes in.

mom and dad are fighting so chrissy (i think?) fucks off. normal stuff really. except that mom and dad fighting is an epic fight scene between basically constantine and the devil.

it's a damn strong first episode. setting up the conflicts. now lets hope they can pay it off.

oh... i felt that ending. like it's mostly standard episode stuff, but that ending... really feels like they're building to something.

crying turning to evil laughting, it's such a good trope.

ah, the popularity episode. interested in how they'll handle that one. also interesting that the cool girl is going to protect fast fashion (something worth being against) which makes me think they're not doing standard cool girl stuff either.

'oh no, a zombie armadillo!!! oh, wait, nvm, it's just the devil, how's it hanging?'

they did do a subversion, and a damn good one too. easy to believe.

this show is making me lol too much for recovering from a collapsed lung (i'm fine).

it's half a "no your life is so hard" episode, half a "i can't stand being socially acceptable" and half "why did you curse me with morals" episode. i love it. fuck this show truly is great.

an episode about self condifence issues, a clear mistake that doesn't seem to be the sole focus, damn this show will tackle tough stuff and avoid the easy plot. oh, also scp peanut makes a cameo. damn this episode hit. not because i have an eating disorder or i know someone who does, but because it's extremely well done. and the ending shows that it clearly was very important to the staff too.

parent kid fights are probably the hardest, and the hardest to do right. so far it's been really good, but i worry if they can stick the landing. ok, i think they succeeded. but this isn't a one parter. and it's a heavy story to carry up on, especially with 2 episodes to go. also why did it include a stereotypical war story?

so... monster of the week while grappling with the fact that you need to give someone space? neat. are we doing a wirlwind lesbian relationship? i mean i'm down, but unexpected if so (might be reading too much into it, but the imagery is definitely there). also what other show makes me ask questions like: would whistling or wind instruments work underwater? i mean instinct says no, but logic says yes. noise works the same under water, though the speed it travels in and other stuff like that is different, so while i think you should be able to create an under water flute it's probably quite different from an air flute. oh, the tantabus makes an appearance. yes the mlp deny yourself happiness villain. it stays one of the best things that show did as it's introducing a tough concept to kids. and it gave me a word for this specific thing.

damn, final episode, well set up. now lets hope they finish it well and don't do a cliff-hanger and then get cancelled.

god this place in unsettlingly perfect.

the ending of chrissy's arc is remarkably similar to Luz. which is fucking wild. both a story of someone learning to be themselves.

but annoyingly it did end with setting up a ton of cliffhangers for a season 2, with no confirmation for a season 2. i mean i guess it's a good way to improve your chance for a second season aka keeping a job, but it does sting when you don't get that second season.

conclusion

still, good fucking show. some things i was wrong on, like how puberty would play a role, but i liked pretty much all of it. fun messages, lots of cliché problems but while certain initial solutions will be cliché that's never all that's done, and the characters are hugely interesting.

#little demon

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the-firebird69 · 1 year

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He wants me to help him say it so here it is we designed this motorcycle because it's simple it works very well has no bells and whistles and it's immune to EMP and so forth but it's really to promote recycling things as an option to make things that are sturdy and work very well and there's a ton of material out there that has to be recycled and it's really earth-conscious stuff so you don't have piles of junk that mess up your aquifer and for bugs to hide in in other and to make life miserable and stinks even a pile of rotting car smells really bad and animals move in and they die in them so this is our idea as a solution into burying garbage machines can sort garbage now and he recycles often a better job so he's going to get a container there's a certain number of things that happened here that caused them to happen but it's harsh. So I'm introducing it and he wants me to get back to it that the motorcycle is fully recycled material all the way down to the seat it's a different kind of vinyl it's punctual resistant where resistant and it is very comfortable and it's healthy every part on it is from recycled material including the frame mostly from cars as motorcycles are used up until they absolutely Fall apart and then they're parted out and people try and rejuvenate the engine it's a constant thing we're going to sell a lot of these because of that fact and the engines are super strange steel with chromium they're very well built and the recycling process refines it but we separated first so the material comes out very nice almost more pure than with four bear or and bear plastics. So here it goes

These bikes whether the gas or electric are made entirely from recycled materials like 99% Plus are more lock cars trucks and other bicycles motorcycles big trucks that are taking from the highway here and they're deemed to be unsafe because they're all worn out and they're piled up and we're taking them today and we're making the first batch from the recycled material taken from here only they don't want the ones that are already built we're sending them out though to California because that's where we got the recycled cars to build the batch that we have and they're from warlock mostly and it's very evil the whole entire concept of announcing who and where they're from and send it back but the max wanted done and because they're going to patrol the walls they erected using them and we have a whole bunch that we made in the Midwest from cars in the Midwest and Mac wants those out there too and we're going ahead with it and we're using the big ones out there mostly and the max are bigger out there and we apprehend a lot of these little twits but here it's going to be a lot different. And in all cases we take their bodies out first and we remove anything that's contaminated and incinerate it but they did have skin cells and hair and other things they couldn't help but be incorporated into these devices that are being used against them.

There's a strong response coming from it and they want our son on one and that's the morlock on an electric that goes at least 500 miles cuz they don't want to be stuck there charging with him waiting for the police to come by so here's how it goes they want him on the electric one cuz it doesn't go that fast by comparison is true only but it's fast enough that he can go pretty far and it's comfortable and it's bigger it's about the size of the ATK 490 and leave it to 490 some say 460 but seriously it is a decent sized bike and it is respected and it looks cool and you can buy fairings for it and you probably would at least the front one and Ken would do and they look nice I mean it looks stylish and we'll get attention cuz it's electric and it runs will really really well and it's starting price for it is not much it's like 3,500 and at some point it's going to get money with buy one but that's too much for him right now and he knows it and we're going to wait but they want him on it now and there's a big push for the social security money about $500 trillion people signed up today and by the end of the day we think it'll be at least a quadrillion which is still pretty poor

I'm happy with what I said there's more happening here and we're going to announce you shortly

Hera Zeus

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otakween · 2 years

Text

Digimon Adventure (Blind Watch) - Prequel Movie

This. Was. GORGEOUS! Gorgeous and weird. Plot-wise it was kinda vague and didn't go anywhere. More of a concept than an actual story. It weirdly reminded me of that 90s movie "We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story" where the dinosaurs start out good but then get scary towards the end.

Not sure if this is meant to be canon? If it is canon Taichi would have had to repress/forgotten this whole event.

Notes:

-Every frame of this was so nice to look at. I feel like when the art is good, it automatically makes the characters feel more interesting too because the animator(s) gave them little detailed mannerisms/quirks that make them feel more fully fleshed out.

-Not sure how old Taichi and Hikari are meant to be here but they look about toddler age. I love how puffy/blobby their designs are. So cute.

-I guess the Digimon tradition of kids underreacting to things started here. They're not very impressed or surprised that their computer gave birth lol

-Holy crap, parents! But they're of the headless variety. Not sure if the dad was meant to be an alcoholic or if he just had one crazy night. (Either way, betcha they cut that out of the dub!)

-Hikari's little quirk of always carrying around a whistle was very cute. I think it's a really accurate representation of how kids latch onto random comfort items.

-Taichi fries an egg and looks after his little sister, but he looks maybe 8!? Made me kind of nervous lol. Then again, I never know what's the normal age for kids to do what anymore.

-Unlike in the first episode of the series, we get to see the baby form (Botamon) first all the way up to Greymon in like 2-3 days. Also, there were some major differences in the evolution process. Koromon seemed to be in pain/distress while evolving to Agumon, Agumon and Greymon were HUGE, neither Agumon nor Greymon spoke, and the kids called everything after Botamon "Koromon" because they didn't know any better. It was definitely more interesting to see a transformation that wasn't in a cutaway void (even though it was under a blanket).

-That cat had every right to be pissed off! They just snatched its food for Koromon, poor thing >:(

-I was actually following the plot fine but when Hikari jumped on Agumon's back and was like "let's go outside!" it kinda broke my suspension of disbelief. Also, why do the kids continue to assume Agumon's the good guy when he starts mindlessly blowing stuff up?

-Hikari's extremely detailed crying face was a little bit uncanny valley. Reminded me of The Girl Who Leapt Through Time

-You catch glimpses of baby versions of all of the other chosen kids, but I didn't recognize some of them right away. Some of their debuts are blink-and-you-miss-it kinda deals.

-The bird digimon's electric attack felt very Railgun-esque. Very cool. Actually, the fight scene in general was pretty epic.

-Again, kinda weird that the kids looking on immediately know which giant monster they're supposed to be rooting for. If anything, the bird looks more friendly.

-At the end Taichi says something like "and that's why I'm in the digi world" and I'm just like..."wut u mean?" Lol this movie didn't explain shit.

-Nice extended/acoustic version of the OP during the credits. That kinda gave me the feels.

#digimon #digimon adventure #anime #blind watch #movie

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fleet-admiral-hiba · 3 years

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Hello there Mel, I like your headcanons with dearest admiral dads so I have another one to ask you. How would they feel if they have a son (start 20's) traning for becoming a marine and ofcause the son is showing ALOT of potentials. The thing is he is drowning in fangirls, who are going out of their way to see him train. He is cool enough to ignore it for most part, but they have found him hidding just to have some privicy.

Ahahahahaha nice one

ADMIRALS : FANGIRLS ARE THE REAL TROUBLE

サカズキ

He didn't understand the concept of fangirls, but unless they bothered you or those around you, they could do whatever they seemed fit.

Not that they were easily accepted into marine grounds, but they are a crafty bunch. Too crafty for your liking.

For the most part, you were okay with the calm ones, they just sat there, looking at you. But some on them, they were obsessed. They didn't leave you alone a minute whenever you were out of the base or in the training grounds.

If you were out with some recruits, they would stalk and harass you pretty much every minute. It was too much.

So, once, you had enough. They didn't listen to your advices, and so you had to hide, even for five minutes, cause they would not let you take a breath.

It was in this hiding spot of yours that your father found you. He noticed the outstanding number of girls outside looking for you, and he didn't outright asked why you were here. He kind of understood.

He offered you his help to make them go away, in a non lethal way of course. You were a man that took care of his own problems. You just need a minute to even hear your own thoughts.

After all, you were trying to go up the ranks, and even though at 20 you were already on the list to the promotion, you wanted to work hard and make the difference for the people.

Anyway, you found a way to get rid of the annoying fangirls, in the end.

ボルサリーノ

He laughed, a genuine laugh. He knew you had potential, but he didn't expect to see a swarm of young hormonal teenage girls searching for you everywhere.

He had to admit, some of them were even very Polin their request. Others were not. Not that you minded, most of the times. Usually they were quiet enough to let you train in peace

But lately, they started to become unbearable. Always whistling and making lovey eyes whenever you even breathed. It was impossible to even begin to do anything without them shouting.

So the best thing for you to do? Hiding, in a place that you knew they couldn't get you. The closet. Of your father of course.

He found you there one morning, sleeping peacefully. It looked like you ran away from a very pissed off Uncle Saka last night.

When you eventually woke up, he teased you so much you became as red as a tomato. Until you explained that, no it would have been better to run from Uncle Saka, those fangirls of yours were bothering you. And you wanted to study. So you hid there. It made sense at the time.

He offered a solution, and you gladly accepted his help. He had a silver tongue and he could easily talk his way out of most things. Usually

イッショ

Your nervous energy was what bothered him the most. Was there a threat? And maybe, in your eyes there was one indeed.

Still, he did not grasp the concept of people swooning over a marine training and arresting a bunch of people. He did not

You asked him to accompany you to a remote spot where you could practice with your abilities without endangering civilians, and what do you know, 40 minutes later they were there.

It was too much. You could not go nowhere without at least 10 of them looking for you and shouting and something. If it was only the shouting that bothered you.

Someone had the bold idea of trying to touch you, not in a funny or consensual way. This was after the various terms shouted at your persona. From a simple "I Love You" to "I wanna marry you" to " I wanna carry your children". It was obscene to say the least. And you didn't even like girls.

Anyway, as I was saying, this group tried to corner you, just to feel you. If it wasn't for the fact that your father was there, and manage to create a path for you to escape, you probably would have done two things : one, you would have chosen the dog way, and it wasn't pretty, the other would have been to knock them out with your abilities. Either way they would have suffered.

This lead to your current situation. Hid in the ship you and your father boarded to come here. In the armory, you sat there polishing your swords, chilling, the thing that you didn't have time to do in general.

Anyway it was pure coincidence he found you there. He had a feeling you would be there. Anyway he had to ask if it was usually so intense, and you told him your story

Normally they would simply be there, like a silent companion, and that was okay. I mean, not okay cause it was private ground, but unless they made noise, you could ignore them. Then they became bolder and bolder

He offered you some advices, and maybe in the end they were for the best. Otherwise problems would have come out if you chose your own way

#one piece #one piece fanfiction #one piece headcanons #one piece imagine #one piece masterlist #one piece scenario #one piece x y/n #one piece marines #issho #one piece akainu #one piece kizaru

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venhedish · 3 years

Text

In light of a certain wincest-adjacent blocklist making the rounds and some friends of mine getting smacked with the purity hammer, I have things to say for anyone who would like to listen!

In my experience, antis are more concerned with the rush they get from being angry and feeling morally superior than they are with actually engaging critically with us, the text, or themselves to understand why they feel the way they feel.

This is not actually about the incest thing and it never has been. Incest in the SPN fandom is being used as a dog-whistle to draw a dividing line between us and them, and it’s that shitty black-and-white thinking that tons of young people are falling victim to because it’s wrapped up with a bow that presents a neat little package: incest bad. We can all agree on that, can’t we? But what’s so insidious is that this new-Victorian purity movement is only cloaked in a signifier of moral purity. What it actually is is a giant, authoritarian flag waving in the air, inviting the anti-intellectual to join together behind a concept that sounds righteous on the surface but is actually being used to bully, harass, and harm people who are often already marginalized out of their own communities.

One thing to look out for in particular that absolutely fascinates me is the way language is used as an exclusionary, self-selective force that reinforces these boundaries. Go to any one of the big heller/anti-wincest blogs and look at the way they talk to each other. To be clear, almost all groups will eventually start developing a shorthand that makes them easily identifiable to each other, but sometimes I’ll check out that side of tumblr and legitimately feel like we’re speaking two different languages.

This is a really common thing that happens with political and religious movements and it’s happening here for similar reasons! If you’re on the fringes of fandom and you like destiel and you join tumblr or twitter or wherever these communities are active and you do a search for your ship, you’ll find some blogs that seem really cool and have interesting stuff to say, but they’re full of in-jokes and weird terms and meme language. And because you want to fit in—to understand the community you’re joining—you dive deeper, you search back through history and pick up pieces here and there until you finally get it. And by that point, you’ve basically indoctrinated yourself. You’re doing their work for them, essentially.

This kind of thing is done on purpose for two reasons: it helps to signify that people using this language have passed a litmus test that proves this person is one of us, and it makes it harder for the outsider to engage with you on even footing. I mean, this sounds fucking ridiculous, but how the fuck is an intellectually honest person supposed to engage critically with someone who attacks them by calling them J*red-kin??? (I just made that up but I can 100% imagine a heller using it as an insult). I’m not saying this is done on purpose in the SPN fandom. I mean, maybe a little by people who are shit-stirring on purpose, but this kind of thing just happens and it’s very hard to catch on to. We’re all guilty of it. Language is crazy flexible and always shifting and we flex and shift with it as popular phrases come and go.

Look, all I’m saying is that if you actually think about the response to wincest from the heller community, you realize how flimsy their platform really is. Reading and writing about fictional brothers fictionally fucking each other harms no one, and anyone with a brain who actually cares knows this! That’s why the anti-wincest crowd isn’t citing articles or research about the dangers of portraying incest in fiction – because they don’t exist! We can, of course, talk about the impact that uneven power dynamics in real life incestuous relationships have on victims of such abuse, how most people who are sexually abused are abused by a family member, how to be aware of grooming techniques and watch out for red flags that point towards abusive behavior. But we don’t! Because that’s 👏 not 👏 what 👏 it’s 👏 about 👏

Instead, it’s just an overflowing bandwagon jammed full of empty ideas and a lot of people getting hurt because of it. Innocent – let me say it again: INNOCENT people who are exploring sexuality, trauma, relationship dynamics, and just plain old having a good time minding their own business in an ethically safe and victimless way are being threatened and harassed and told to die. Wonder which one is actually more damaging and morally bankrupt. 🤔

Anyway, imagine a world where the purity police got their way. There’d basically be no safe literature left. Nabokov? Cancelled. Rushdie? Salinger? Ginsberg? All cancelled. Imagine antis whole-cloth discarding hundreds of years of religious tradition because of all the shit the gods got up to! This is the same line of thinking that made a generation of moms believe that violent video games led to real-world violence. Fiction has never, ever, been meant to only tell pure stories. The whole world of literature would be narrowed down to, like, a couple cautionary tales and picture books if anti culture could somehow actually reach the inevitable praxis of its desire.

Taboos have always been sexy. It’s okay to explore them through the medium of fiction. It’s literally the safest, most ethically responsible thing you can do. Please, please don’t let a functionally illiterate hive-mind convince you otherwise!

For an amazing resource to learn more about anti culture and how troubling it is, check out @freedom-of-fanfic. It’s an awesome blog to browse if you’re even a tiny bit interested in this kind of thing!

#ven creates #anti culture #purity culture #wincest #fandom wank #spn #supernatural #my thoughts #long post #thanks for coming to my ted talk #feel free to reblog

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0poole · 4 years

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I LOVE No Straight Roads

Honestly it’s hard to keep me away from a game with great visuals and even greater character design. I knew from the INSTANT I saw these characters that I was going to love it. I just finished it because it’s (unfortunately) pretty short, and even though I cheesed the final boss through it’s very lenient death mechanics (Instant respawn at the cost of a good rank) I actually appreciated that it wasn’t a pure cake walk. I’ve yet to rematch all of the bosses, but since I had genuine trouble with the later ones I’ll hold off on that.

But who cares about gameplay, am I right? I sure as hell don’t. I would’ve bought the game no matter what the hell it was. I wanted the characters (and the music, although I realized that second) and that was it.

First of all, I love any world that is super fantastical but cheesy in its concept, ala a city powered by music, and battles between artists using music. Ideas like this only spawn from a mind that wants to create a fun atmosphere, if nothing else, and it was sure as hell fun. I genuinely love when someone goes so far into a crazy idea and doesn’t waste your time explaining it with real world logic. Wanna know how a city can be powered by music? Shut up and look at the cute virtual mermaid. Lord knows I did. Every once in a while, it does you good to just let the player/reader/viewer just revel in the idea without having to go out of your way to make things seem realistic. It’s not about “turning your brain off” or whatever, it’s picking your battles.

Also, I can seriously love a world with great background characters to it. Any game with the right situation to insert the random nobodies you find onto the streets into the art in the credits really played into the greatness of the world’s less important characters, and that’s always a good thing. It’s technically world building. But, since I always love to pick favorites, I’d have to say my favorite background character is easily Mia, the NSR infodesk assistant. It’s funny, because you can literally search “nsr characters” into Google and she’s the third image result. I love how jumpy she is when you first interact with her, since NSR probably spread the word about B2J suggesting they’re rock thugs who’d beat up anyone, so for all she knows she could die right then and there with a guitar lodged in her skull. She’s probably just some intern trying to pay for college. She don’t want trouble.

Also, I just realized that 90% of the characters in this game have the same body structure that I always love, that being having arms/legs that sort of fan out in width into relatively large hands/feet. It’s a kind of limb structure I fall into so much because it just really hits me right for some reason. I really can’t explain why.

Anyways, I gotta talk about the big boys individually:

Mayday and Zuke are an amazing duo. I’m always a sucker for a cute and crazy girl, but honestly Zuke hit so many of the right notes too. I will say it’s weird to pair the martian Zuke with the humanly-skinned Mayday, but honestly it doesn’t even matter because he looks so cool on his own. I love his weird blocky blue dreadlocks, and his weirdly shaped shirt which bares his chest in the weirdest way... And, oh my god, Mayday’s weird Spongebob background flower eyes? It’s little tidbits like that that really make me jealous. How could I have ever thought of that? It looks so perfect, and I don’t know why. And her little booty jig she does in her idle animation? Adorable. I played as her as much as was reasonable not only because I’m a filthy button masher with little strategy but also because she’s so damn cute. I can also appreciate how she has a tough-as-nails persona while still keeping a semi-girly attitude, like with her falling for 1010 and Sayu. Characters are so much better when they’re a perfect blend of characteristics, instead of being all one-note, like how Zuke is the quiet one but gets heated against DK West, and all.

Honestly the voice acting for every character is great, but I love when Mayday’s VA’s accent shows through. It’s a perfect twang to accent (consider this the only acknowledgement of a pun in this post) her snarkiness.

DJ Subatomic Supernova was going to be an easy favorite since he’s all space-themed. Also, I don’t know why I always end up liking the egotistic characters. Not in the sense that I like their egotistic-ness, but in the sense that I like everything else about them and they just so happen to also be egotistic. The same applied with Empoleon (maybe like my 2nd favorite Pokemon) and Rarity from MLP, probably among others. Either way, I’ll never not love space themes. Not to mention he’s got a funky disco theme, and I’m slowly starting to realize that I am in extreme love with techno-funk styles of music. The instant I heard his music he cemented his place into my playlists.

As for design, I still have no idea what the fuck he is. Clearly AI is at human levels in this world, but if he’s a robot why does he still have hairy legs? But, if he’s a human, is that weird orb his head? Is it just some sort of puppet which he controls from inside his giant jacket? I know I dissed explaining things realistically but I actually want to know with this guy. Even the wiki doesn’t say. Either way, he’s clearly the logical extreme of “being at the center of your own universe.” Even his jacket depicts a solar system, with his hood being the sun. Didn’t see that until I tried to draw him. I really wish this guy wasn’t so tied to his DJ stand so I could reasonably draw him without it. I don’t want to draw his hairy ass legs. It is a great touch for his design though (although I prefer his beta look with pants and long boots, another design trait I tend to gravitate to) since DJs could reasonably not wear pants, since they’re always behind a table.

Sayu is my favorite. It’s so plainly obvious. It’s weird to say that sometimes, because some characters like Sayu are so clearly engineered to be as adorable as possible, to the point where they’re basically a parody of whatever they’re supposed to be emulating, but then they do that so well that they are still likable for what they’re trying to parody. Also, even though I’ve never looked into any vocaloid superstars myself, the fact that they exist and are loved in real life is absolutely perfect to be used as a character design in a world like this. It’s so weird conceptually, but we all know it’s normal and realistic. But yeah, she’s a giga-cutie whom I’ve already drawn and I’ve listened to her theme on loop on many different occasions. Favorite character, favorite track, favorite weapon of choice (What did I say about Empoleon?), which, and I wouldn’t have noticed this myself, looks like the USB symbol you see above USB ports on computers. How crazy perfect is that?

Even apart from my unbridled love for cute monster robot(?) girls, her boss fight is probably the 2nd greatest of them all, at least conceptually. She’s just a hologram, so you can’t touch her, but you CAN disconnect the artists which control her in order to defeat her. It’s the kind of concept for a boss fight that could only work for this type of character. I’m a sucker for the cute girl that provides her voice, but I love how the animator (video editor? the yellow one) actually attacks you with a mouse and lowers the brightness of the setting once he appears. Also, the mocap guy being the deeply-voiced type but still providing the adorable movements of her body. It’s such a great combo of characters, and their little extra art in the credits makes me like them even more. I just wish we could interact with them individually.

DK West was probably one of the most interesting characters visually, especially since I knew of every other NSR member long before the game came out, but I only just heard of him closer to the release. I wasn’t sure where he was placed, but I definitely assumed his gig was the weird shadow demon we saw in the trailers. When I finally saw him in game, I was shocked to hear him speak an entirely different language most of the time, which was really cool. Also, finding out he was tied to Zuke and wasn’t strictly an NSR artist really made him more interesting. You know, if his fucking shadow clone magic didn’t make him crazy cool enough. Even though I suck at his game and am not especially fond of his raps, the visual of him rapping with this giant monster behind him and dozens of weird shadow wingmen by his side hyping him up was probably one of the coolest in the entire game. The dark way they were hyping him up too gave such a bizarre atmosphere, especially since it parallels his seemingly chill and smiley demeanor.

I definitely hope they’ll introduce new bosses as DLC in the future, and make them sort of in the same vein as DK West, where they aren’t the biggest artists ever, but they want to pick a fight with B2J. I’d kill for any extra content this game can provide.

Yinu is obviously special since she was the subject of the demo they put out for the game. Even though I knew all her bells and whistles, she and her mom still beat me a few times in the full game. Considering she’s semi-tied to story-ish spoilers I kinda want to go more into her in a separate section. It is worth considering playing the game first since it’s not hard (with the easy going deaths) and it’s short length.

1010 seriously grew on me as I learned more about them and interacted with them. I got their shtick when I first looked at them, but after seeing that animation of them touring the city on Youtube I was kinda falling for them. Then, I learned that they’re apparently repurposed navy war robots? I mean, maybe not them specifically, but it seems to heavily point in that direction, with the warship cars and “attention!”s and all. It took me a bit to get into their music too, but once I actually fought them and put their actions to the music I fell in love with it. I swear, Neon J’s weird dancing can has some of the smoothest moves in all of gaming. I don’t know whether they mocapped out those movements or got one of the greatest animators ever, but it looks so impossibly clean his part of the song gets me like 30x more hype than it would normally.

Also, their little art piece of them looking at fan mail in the credits is probably one of the most adorable things ever. Even if they’re just Neon J’s puppets, that piece of art really makes it seem like they love every one of their fans. I’m not gonna lie, I might swoon a bit too if they picked me out and gave me some special attention.

Oh yeah, and the fact that Mayday was super sad in her showstopper against them was adorable and hilarious at the same time. The little tweaks they made to the showstopper for each fight were great.

Eve just has to be Lady Gaga, right? Like, an even crazier Lady Gaga. DJSS is Daft Punk (or any artist with a helmet persona, you know what I’m talking about), Sayu is Hatsune Miku, DK West is Kanye West, Yinu is a generic child protege, 1010 is a KPop boyband (just pick one) and Eve is Lady Gaga. That’s just how things are. But, again, this is the kind of boss fight that only this type of character could provide. It’s not just surreal imagery, it’s ARTISTIC surreal imagery. The fight is so mesmerizing in every way, especially by how it starts off so slow and calm and progresses to insanity, as well as the increased emotional investment in the fight making you feel so much more into it than just “That’s the boy band. Let’s fight.” Not only does it get you more invested, but it makes her artistic persona go deeper than just “she looks weird.” She is genuinely conflicted about her relationship with Zuke, and naturally that leads her to literally split him and Mayday apart. That mechanic specifically was the coolest, although I do wish they made it more obvious when you needed to switch over to a different side. I was getting pulverized by her fight too, since there were so many things to pay attention to. Her fight was definitely the best one.

Tatiana and Spoilers:

Let’s be real with ourselves, the twist was so obvious. I do also think, though, that obvious twists aren’t bad if they’re just good reveals. At some point, a person just has experienced so many stories that “only pretty good” twists are easy to spot. It doesn’t mean that the twists are bad, it just means you yourself experienced.

I feel like her transition from rock to EDM was pretty understandable, even as a non-musician. She was so caught up in what she assumed was popular that it basically consumed her. It’s easy as an artist to want to forgo what you truly want to make in favor of what makes you popular, and clearly since her transition to EDM made her the CEO of the biggest company in the city (world?) that probably made her think she truly needed to change her outlook. Then, when she saw B2J try to bring it back, she sort of coined them as being as misguided as she was and knocked them down a peg. Plus, they were kinda being jerks about it.

It’s kinda like the Trolls sequel, where everyone pegs rock music fanatics as being too stuck up in their own heads to appreciate other types of music, which honestly seems more like the case than the alternative. When I first heard of the story of the game, I was seriously hoping they did put an asterisk on B2J’s ambitions because they were a bit sketchy from the start.

That’s kinda where I want to talk about Yinu, because she was the true turning point in what they were doing. She’s literally 9 and yet she’s getting dragged into all this BS. When she said “I hate you all” at the end of her fight, and played a somber tune on her broken piano after the fight destroyed it, you kinda got a kick in the face to realize you’re kinda being an asshole to some of them. Sure, they fight back, but they wouldn’t fight in the first place if they didn’t have to. They are just people who play music under a joint name that B2J just so happened to get in hot water with.

Then, of course, there’s Kliff, who also reeked of surprise villain, and who’s basically the embodiment of the bad side of B2J, where he just wanted to destroy for his own sake and not for the actual greater good. Once B2J realized their mistake, they backed off, but Kliff was so hard pressed to do what he planned on in the first place he wouldn’t stop. I kinda wish he got a bigger fight to his own since he’s clearly a big enough tech genius to divert a whole satellite into one specific building. Maybe the Elliecopter chase bit was his thing, but I do kind of wish he was there to fight against them too.

Even though Tatiana did kind of reform a bit quick, It’s still not too crazy to assume she could see that B2J was just misguided and the fact that they worked to revert their wrongdoings for her sake would make a pretty strong impressions. They clearly can hold their own, so it’s not like she wouldn’t want them to join NSR too.

Oh yeah, and her boss fight was clock/time themed. If there’s a theme under space that I love, it’s clocks/time.

And If I am to be respected by the internet, I must provide a negative opinion to balance out my positive one. I will say that the character model physics (like Mayday’s braids, DK West’s vest thing, Neon J’s fluffy neck thing, etc) got kinda funky at times. Especially DK West’s vest, which was completely messed up for every scene he was in... Also, even though the voices are mostly great, some lines felt a bit off. Just a bit. That good enough? Good.

But yeah anyway that’s another favorite game to add to the pile. Eventually I’m gonna have to compile a true list of my all-time favorite games/movies because I do kind of want to have a solid idea of what my all-time favorites are.

#nsr #no straight roads #bunk bed junction #dj subatomic supernova #sayu #yinu #dk west #spoilers #1010 #eve #tatiana #rambling #review #poole #etc #opinions #rant

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cosmiclatte28 · 3 years

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90′s LOVE (Sungchan x you, Mark)

The MV IS OUT!! and I really like their concept. This is like how EXO nailed the football concept and now NCT nailed the Hockey concept!! I am so excited that I have this in my mind...

I hope this is not boring and yeah give Sungchan some more love!

warning : i don’t want to soil the plot, but there’s some kiss..

PART TWO HERE

You bend to untie your skating shoes; you're done with today's skating class. The locker is already crowded with the trainee for the next schedule. The ice hockey team from your club is here to play today. They're the best team in town, NCT U Dinosaur and next week they are playing against Gorillas. You bet it will be an interesting match with the Dinos winning of course, there's no doubt with that tall new center they have and the super tight bond between the players. It's like their mind is already connected and they can always pass the puck with ease. You excuse your way to your own locker, well with their padded costumes and tall bodies, you're struggling to find your way to the locker.

"Excuse me," you say between each steps and the members are all friendly to you, hey they always meet you because your class is before theirs and so you always see them preparing themselves. "Oh hey there (y/n)," Mark, your best friend and secret crush, greets you with a quick side hug. He squishes your shoulder and you just laugh nervously obviously surprised and shy from what he did. He's super friendly with you to the point where you wish he can see you as someone more than a friend. He lets you go when his other friend calls him and you make your way to the end of the locker. "I see someone is left behind again," a tall shadow appears on your peripheral views. You sigh, knowing this is once again Sungchan teasing you for your one-sided crush on Mark. Well, you knew Sungchan earlier than you knew Mark, Sungchan once went to the same elementary school as you did, so there's nothing awkward between the two of you. You got separated but meet one another again in this skating rink. Him as a hockey player, you as a figure skater. "Shut up, he's called over." You try to push the negative thought away.

Deep inside your heart, you still have the slightest hope that Mark is liking you back. Sungchan just laughs at you, he puts his hand over your head wanting to ruffle your hair, but your bun doesn't allow him to. He awkwardly puts his hand down, lucky you did not realize this. "So, you're going to stay and watch us practice?" Sungchan has hope in his tone. You look around and see your brother Ten already entering the Barn (the rink). "I guess I have to wait for Ten." you stuff your skates into your bags and grab your slippers. "Oh okay cool. Wish me luck I need to warm up." Sungchan smiles to you, you just click your tongue, "Okay big boy, good luck." you fist bump him and he makes his way out of the room. You change your clothes and make yourself comfortable in the bleachers. With one cup of hot tea and a phone in your other hand, you waste your time on the internet. "Hey you wanna go home?" Ten skates to your side and asks over the rink. You see the time, and shake your head, "I got nothing to do, I'll watch you. Focus," you shoo him away and he just pulls you his nose scrunch face. Their practice ended nicely, and you have your eyes glued to Mark on all of the game. Dude, he's a good wing man and Sungchan is a tough center. His scoring is accurate and he's super calm in the midst of the game. Your brother is playing as a wing man too. Practice ended with Mark's team winning and they all crowded the room back with their sweaty bodies. After a shower, you find yourself going home with your brother. "Next week is game day, you must watch us!" Ten says excitedly on the way home inside the bus. "Sure, I mean I am on a term break for preparing the state skating, I can watch your games." You squeeze your brother's hand. "How's your practice today?" he asks you this time. You shake your head, "Not good, I cannot do the quad axel yet and my biggest rival, Taeyong, can do that easily. I mean even when we skate on different categories... I still feel I lost to him." Ten hugs you from the side and cheers you up, "Hey you're doing great okay, you just need a few more practices It's okay." You shake your head, "It's not. He did it in two tries and I still can't do it. Maybe mom is right, figure skating is not for me." Ten looks at you in amusement, "The hell are you saying? You worked hard from seven years old and you're thinking of stopping because of one move where people acknowledge as something nearly impossible to be done?!" You laugh at yourself, "Silly? maybe I should join the hockey team. Maybe Mark will pay more attention to me." You're open to your brother about your feelings, he knows your silly one sided crush on Mark and Ten has already told you repeatedly to move on, but you're so stubborn. "Still not over him eh?" Ten changes the topic. You blush and nod your head, "He's so sweet." Ten actually knows Mark is always sweet with everyone, no he is not a player. He is just warm and welcoming to all girls, Ten knows Mark longer than you but you never listen your brother. "For once can you listen to me?" he desperately sighs, you shake your head. Ten stops. "Let me just tell you this, someone else is always there for you, but when you're busy counting stars, you forgot the moon." Ten shuts his mouth afterwards and you find his sentence confusing. What is wrong with Ten? Sungchan goes back home with his roommate, Mark. Together they walk under the warm moon and talk about random things until Mark asks Sungchan about you. "So I heard you know (Y/n) right?" The taller guy just nods his head, "Yeah why?" "It's just that is she available?" Mark directly asks this and Sungchan is surprised, is he interested in her? No way this is happening. Sungchan notices the small smile Mark tries to hide but failed. "Well as far as I know she is not seeing anyone." Sungchan admits he really wants to lie and say you're not available, but you will kill him. "Oh a cute girl like her is still single?" Mark's eyes dilate twice in size. Sungchan rolls his eyes, "Maybe because she is waiting for someone to make the move." Mark whistles, "Classic, and you? You're dating anyone?" Sungchan blushes, "No one in the moment." Mark just nods his head, "Uh maybe you can ask her out, you seem to like her." Sungchan almost froze on his steps, wait was he really obvious? He wants to yell at Mark "Oh hell yeah I am asking her out when I know she has a crush on you... you dense..." He holds his words and just toss Mark a silly look, "Nah, not now. She's not interested in me." "Why not try?" Mark nonchalantly asks. Sungchan wishes he can spill the beans, but no he can't inside his heart he only scream "Because I know that I will just be her rebound when she realizes you're really not interested in her." "I don't know Mark, why don't you try win her if you like her." Sungchan tosses back the bomb and Mark just chuckles "I am already committed." "Hell what? You never told me!" Mark blushes, "Well it's not usual so I'm not really telling anyone." Sungchan understands and touches the shorter's shoulder, "Who is he?" Mark smiles, "Haechan, it's Haechan our defence." Sungchan smiles happily for his brother, he slaps his back, "Congrats bro!" Mark just giggles, "Thanks, come on let's go in!" They arrive at their apartment and Sungchan feels his head breaking down.

So how can he tell you Mark is unavailable, and he knows you'll be so heart broken. Sungchan thought of all the possibilities and ended up sleeping. He didn't see you anymore until the game day. You are there sitting on the bleachers with your oldest brother, Taemin and the two of you are super excited. You see Sungchan on his way to the dressing room and you dash quickly to see him, you just want to wish him luck. "Sungchan-ie!!" you reach his hand and he stops in track, looking back he sees you "Oh it's you!" his smile erupts. You hand him a chocolate bar, "Good luck! Score many points today okay? Play safe" you pat his back and he can't hide his silly face, "Thanks, I will do my best. Hey where are you going?" he asks when you move away. You mouthed MARK and leave him. That's when he realizes he should've stopped you from looking Mark but he's too late. Sungchan sees you frozen in track by the door of the locker room, the energy drink you bring for Mark falls to the ground and before he can reach for you, you've ran away. Sungchan wants to run after you but his captain Winwin calls him. "Shit," Sungchan sees Mark and Haechan on the corner making out and his smart brain is enough to understand you learn the truth the hard way.

Sungchan is a professional, once he is in the Barn, he’s busy with the game and he sets aside all of the emotion and problems. He’s determined to console you after the game, so first he needs to win this game and then win your heart.

The game ended with fantastic scores, Sungchan performs very well and scores many today. You cheer excitedly by Taemin’s side. The two of you jumping excitedly when the team wins.

You’re still sad when you saw Mark earlier, but here you are once again in the waiting room congratulating everyone in the team. You hold your tears when you get a hug from Mark. His hug sure feels different now, you know it you really stand no chance. You walk to your other friend, Sungchan and you surprise him with a hug. You never hug him first, but today you feel like he’s the only one you can trust.

“Congratulations” you whisper and Sungchan excitedly picks you up from the floor. You yelp but let him pick you up, well he’s way taller than you.

“Sorry,” he whispers back, “Sorry I did not run to you earlier.”

You gulp, oh so he saw you. “No don’t be. I’m fine. You need to focus on the game earlier.”

“Yeah I did, all because you came here and gave me the luck I need.” He still has you levitating and clinging to his big tall frame.

You squirm in his touch, “Okay put me down,”

“No. Not until you cry yourself and calm down.”

Your lips tremble, Sungchan sure is a smart man.

“I am not going to cry,” you lie to him

Sungchan shakes his head, “You will. I know you want to cry now. He’s gone already, no one is here you can cry.”

You sigh, “Please.. please put me down.”

He puts you down and sits beside you.

“I am a fool wasn’t I?” You bite your lips, eyes already wet.

Sungchan pulls you into his embrace, “Pour it all out.”

You stain his jersey with tears, and you punch his chest angrily.

“It hurts,” those are the last words you say before closing your eyes and just feeling the warmth Sungchan gives.

Ten comes into the room and catches the scene, he quickly runs to take you over and lets Sungchan changes his clothes first. The younger man did what Ten said and Ten also knew what happened. Well earlier once the game ended, he clearly saw Mark kissing his boyfriend, and Ten knows you’re crying because of that.

You look up to Ten and with hiccups you ask him, “Hyung, I focused on the star.. and now when the star is gone… did I lost my moon too?”

Ten sighs, you remember what he said that night. Ten looks into the tall man who’s cleaning up his gears and smiles, he rubs your back and brings your teary face to see him, “Hey you did not lose the moon. I can assure you, this time the moon is still here.”

“Really?” you sniffle

Ten brushes your hair away, “Yes honey, you just have to look closely.”

Your eyes catch Sungchan’s tall figure and everything clicks.

“I’ll try, I don’t want to rush…” you shy away from Ten’s gaze.

Ten smiles, “It’s okay, he waited this long, he can wait a bit more.”

Sungchan hears that and just smile, he leaves the room so you two can talk more privately, but deep inside his heart he knows if he plays the game right, he can win your heart now.

endddd

please support nct u 90′s love, be it streaming or just appreciate their music and maybe tell someone else about the song! It brings back memories :D

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journey-to-the-attic · 3 years

Note

Hello!!!! I am in love with Journey To The Attic both as a concept and as a fic and IK is possibly my favourite OM OC I've ever read about so could we possibly get some like lil fun facts about her??? Like a headcanons post but not headcanons because it's your character?? I don't know how to explain it but I hope you get what I mean hdhdhdjfjfj

i think i get what you mean, nonnie, and i got you!! ik fun facts under the cut ^^

she's the kind of person who finds it hard picking a favourite colour because she doesn't want to hurt the other colours' feelings, but she definitely does have one (it's yellow)

her singing is average and not particularly outstanding, but she does sound very nice when she hums

if you play a melody to her, she'll be able to whistle it back to you nearly pitch-perfectly

despite being a pretty firm atheist, ik used to pray to 'god' whenever she wanted something really badly, inciting that she would start believing in him if he actually did as she asked (it never worked of course)

looking at a body of water any larger than the capacity of a smallish bucket makes her want to stick her hands in it (or jump into it, size permitting, even though she can't swim)

when she was younger she'd stick things like pencils into the flames of the stove to see what they looked like when they were on fire

her favourite key signature is d major

she can't hear the first two notes of beethoven's ode to joy without immediately thinking of the little einstein's episode with the caterpillar

her favourite doctor (who) is the twelfth doctor and her favourite companion is clara

she and her dad have made it a tradition to read 'the hungry hungry caterpillar' together every christmas because it was the first christmas present he ever got her. ik has never told anyone about this and she likely never will because it's a very personal and precious thing to her

she has two different editions of the pokemon encyclopaedia, but she's never played the games, watched the anime, or read the manga - she just liked looking at all the cool creature designs

she stole a mood ring from a museum gift shop when she was nine and felt like such a criminal that she dropped it into a gutter nearly immediately afterwards (this is a secret she will take to the grave)

she cries over books very easily but is capable of watching the most heartbreaking movie/tv scenes without shedding a tear

(this doesn't apply to animation, only to live action - it's because she can just reassure herself that these are just actors and that they're not genuinely upset)

her favourite movie is monty python and the holy grail. she first watched it when she was seven (her dad got it second-hand from a car boot sale) and it's influenced her sense of humour ever since

she doesn't have a favourite musical artist or genre - she just listens to what she likes - but she does have a firm vendetta against the song 'yellow submarine' by the beatles because her year one teacher constantly had it playing during reading time

her favourite (human world) school subject was biology and her least favourite was spanish

#answering asks #jtta bonuses #jtta ik #obey me #obey me fics #anon asks

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burnedbyshoto · 4 years

Text

mamihlapinatapei

— mamihlapinatapei: wordless yet meaningful look shared by two people who desire to initiate something, but are both reluctant to start. —

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pairing: todoroki natsuo x fem!reader

warnings: 18+, smut, daddy kink, praise, choking, cockwarming, orgasm denial

word count: 8,903

a/n: a commission for @redbeanteax, sorry it took so long. my back is in so much pain and good god did i feel like i was cheating on shouto when writing this. i hope you enjoy it!!!!

message me to join my taglist!

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Soulmates were an old concept.

It was this phenomenon that had first occurred so many years ago. It was a miracle that allowed the two perfect halves come together.

In its initial introduction, divorce rates and plummeted to all-time lows! For an entire generation, divorce rates were at an all-time low of zero. No one in the world were getting divorces, choosing to stay with the person that was deemed worthy of them. It seemed for some time that people were going to fall in love with their soulmates and find happiness and prosperity for them.

That is until soulmates crossed borders, seas, racial tensions, economic differences, and sexual preferences…

The rich stopped trying to bring someone in for a rag to riches effect, choosing to instead marry within their own class circle, choosing wealth over love. International soulmates couldn’t figure out a common language, they’d sit in front of each other with lousy translator apps, unable to talk freely and openly, and soon their relationship was destroyed. Racial tensions were especially hard. There were reports of soulmates waking back up into their bodies to find their home destroyed and family hurt because their soulmate could not stand the thought -- the idea -- of the race of their soulmate. There were still homophobic people in this world of soulmates who could not accept their sexuality when presented to their soulmate who was the same gender and would not leave any means of contact behind.

Soulmates, while excellent and loving when it is something within your reach, turned out to be a pretty fucked up thing.

But nevertheless, it didn’t stop you from ever hoping that whoever your soulmate was, it would be someone who would love you precisely who you are, no matter who they were.

Your tired eyes focused on your paper, your eyes scanning the different lines that glowed on your computer screen, trying to find a better way to propose your thoughts. There wasn’t much to this paper, it was a reasonably simple paper about the pros and cons of soulmates for your anthro and philosophy class. Since you were little, you revered in the concept of soulmates, your excitement to be in love with someone for the rest of your life was a pretty solid thing, even at a young age.

As you grew older, you held onto this idea, choosing to ignore the issues with soulmates in favor of optimism and positivity. There were still many, many happy and in love, soulmates! After all, there was still an 87% rate for soulmates marrying each other, the opposing 13% came from the worst of people, the most disadvantaged of people, and the most influential people. It’s how it was.

For a college student in Japan, you figured that you had a solid chance of having a soulmate that you could love and have their love in return. But your issue was the mystery behind it, the unknowing of it all. While you knew that soulmates did mean pure love, there was a part of you that hoped that there this someone out there was someone you already knew.

Well, there was one person in particular.

“I’ll proofread your paper if you look at mine,” a tired voice croaked from hours of not being used.

Your eyes felt dry, and you glanced up at the white-haired boy who was the holder of your affections for about two years now.

Todoroki Natsuo.

“Only if you don’t make fun of mine, I’m so bad at this philosophical bullshit,” you groan, rubbing your face. You heard Natsuo snort, his arms stretched above his head, and your eyes dropped back down onto your screen, not wanting to be staring at him.

“Oh please, I’m sure I’ll feel leagues smarter by the time I finish reading it,” he grinned, and you felt yourself looking back at the white-haired man who was pushing his laptop towards you.

“You’re annoying,” you sigh, but there’s an undeniable smile on your face when you hand over your own device.

“Sure, sure.”

What was there to say about him?

You had met him two years ago during freshmen orientation, he was in your introduction group, and coincidentally in the same classes as you. The two of you ended up getting fairly close over the first semester of college, and by the end of your spring semester, you realized in horror that you had a crush on him.

These feelings weren’t bad, he was a respectful and caring boyfriend, that was something you knew without a doubt. Of course, knowing that he is that, and not hypothetically assuming it meant that he had a girlfriend. Yes, Todoroki Natsuo was a taken man.

You’d never really met his girlfriend. You knew who she was, how she looked like, her favorite things in the world, and her least favorite things, that’s how much Natuso talked about her. You had the pleasure of meeting her once, and the only thing you could remember is that she had mouse ears and the personality of a mouse. Scared, timid, and squeaky.

She barely talked to you, and after the initial meeting would never join Natsuo and you anywhere.

You didn’t take it personally, you wouldn’t really want to hang out with her either, especially with how you felt about Natsuo. It was a conflict of pretending that you and Natsuo were falling in love, ignoring the impeding time you had to be with him, and of course, the guilt that coursed through your body whenever you rested your head against his shoulder during these late-night studies.

In two weeks, it was July 2.

Somehow on this day, you would swap bodies with your soulmate when you fell asleep, and when you woke up, you had five minutes to figure out how to get them to reconnect with you. Most people left their phones unlocked that day, letting their soulmates leave their phone numbers in their phone, sometimes they’d leave their address, and Instagram and Twitter handle. After so many generations of soulmates experiencing this, and the ever-evolving technology, this was the way that people effectively found their soulmates once the five minutes were up.

But unlike what people had once assumed, there was no exact age as to when you would swap bodies. Some people were lucky to swap bodies at the age of sixteen, and the oldest recorded case was when someone was twenty-four. You were nineteen, as was Natsuo, neither one of you had this soulmate experience yet, but unlike before, you had a strong feeling that this was your year.

“It looks great,” Natsuo whistled lowly, his head shaking while giving back your laptop.

You felt your face grow warm at the praise, your fingers highlighting another sentence for him to correct, “Thanks.”

“What you thinking about mine?”

You sighed, pushing away from the table so that you were looking into his grey eyes that looked at you with curiosity and high respect.

“I’m a bit confused about your position,” you admitted, your fingers brushing back your hair so that you could look at the man whose lips pursed in thought. “You’re saying that soulmates are bullshit, but you believe it regardless?”

Natsuo nods his head, an embarrassed blush stretching across his face, “Well yeah, they kinda are. How is some cosmic thing the thing in charge of telling me about who I am to truly love?”

“So when you find out who your soulmate is, you won’t love them, but you’ll stay with them?”

“Yes? I don’t know… I know that my parents aren’t soulmates, and that didn’t work out. It’s hard for me to explain, but I really like Mausua, and I want to see how far things can go with her,” Natuso explains his thoughts to you, that stupid grin spreading on his face that always appeared whenever he talked about her. “I mean for years people didn’t marry their exact soulmates, but they were happy and in love for ages. Why can’t I try that out?”

You tried to hide the fact that those words hurt you. It shouldn’t have mattered, after all, there was no saying that the two of you were soulmates, and the probability of that happening was entirely slim to none.

“Yeah, why not?”

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June 30 - one-week left

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You were slumped on top of the table, your head banging against the cool wood while Natsuo recited his notes to you. The both of you were in the middle of some argument that had tailed off in fifty different directions, neither one of you admitting defeat.

“Natsuo, I don’t give a flying fuck if that’s what the notes say!” you yell, throwing your eraser at his head, an act that he easily evaded while continuing to read off his notes. “You don’t give the baby the torch flame!”

“You’re not even listening to what I’m saying,” Natsuo insists with a laugh, his notebook coming to hit your back slightly. “If you give the baby the flame, they’ll be unbeatable!”

If you could roll your eyes any harder than they did now, you were sure you would manage to see your brain, but instead, you shifted on the table so that you were facing Natsuo, and you stuck out your tongue.

“Put your tongue back in your mouth before I pinch it.”

“Sowwy, I donth understhand,” you retorted your nose, turning up towards the ceiling.

Natsuo’s hands grabbed your wrists, and you shrieked, immediately trying to fight him off while he dragged you towards him. Screams and laughter filled the air until Natsuo accidentally pulled you off the table. So there you two sat, on the floor of the study room, in hysterics.

Your hands clutched your sides, breathing failing you while your ass stung slightly from the pain of falling. Natsuo’s face was red, his feet slamming against the floor periodically enough that you almost assumed that he was going to pee himself.

“Just go to your stupid date already,” you groaned once your laughter subsided, your eyes resting on Natsuo, who was now laying on the floor exhausted. “You’re going to be late!”

Every Saturday after you and Natsuo were done studying, he would have a date night with Mausua. It was something he never missed, something he always made sure they did, even when his nose was dripping with snot, and he had the worst migraine. It’s just how he was.

Natsuo paused, his eyes looking at you with a shine of pain, and you sat up despite the soreness of your stomach. There was something wrong.

“She broke up with me,” Natuso admitted with a stiff smile, his shoulders shrugging. “Last night, she had this feeling that this was her year to find her soulmate, and well, I don’t know…”

His hand dragged across his face, and your eyebrows scrunched together. Scooting closer to him, you sat shoulder to shoulder with him before you nudged him with the back of your hand, “You feeling okay?”

“Yeah, actually I am,” Natsuo responded despite the wry smile on his face, “I mean, it sucks, but what can I do about it?”

“Cry, scream, we can go buy cats and put them by her front door,” you began listing off a bunch of different things, most ideas being straight near criminal, but it made Natsuo laugh.

“Remind me to never mess with you,” Natsuo shoves you with his shoulder. The force of that alone nearly sends you flying, but you merely grunt in response. “But, I’m fine.”

“You sure?” you ask, obviously unconvinced.

“Yeah,” he nods, “I will take a hug if you don’t believe me.”

Rolling your eyes, you stood up, stretching out a hand you helped Natsuo to his feet, and without a second thought, you wrapped him into a hug. Your body feels just a bit warm when he held you close.

“I’ll show up at her door with a cat and a baby with a blowtorch, just say the word.”

“Stop, you menace.”

“Shut up, you know you love me.”

“Have I ever denied that before?”

“Yes.”

“True.”

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July 1 - one day left

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“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!” You screamed, shoving a birthday present into Natsuo’s face the moment he opened the door.

Natsuo graciously accepted the present, his face brightening with a smile while he thanked you for the gift. “I thought I said I didn’t need anything.”

You shrugged, walking into the house and taking off your shoes, “That’s what you thought, but I am far wiser and know exactly what you need!”

Natsuo snorts, closing the door behind you, and the two of you make light chatter while walking into the house. It had been a while since you came to his house. The last time you had been around, he was still living under the same roof with his dad, but this one was without him. The house had a different energy to it, one that was nothing similar to that of the old house. It was comforting and warm, despite the coldness the family preferred.

Today was Natsuo’s birthday, and he had invited you over for his birthday dinner with his family, something that he didn’t do last year with you. Thankfully you had met most of his family, his sister Fuyumi was an obvious one, and you also had the chance of meeting Rei the other month while running into the mother and son at a tea shop one day. You also had sort of met his baby brother Shouto, who you only really knew because of the U.A. Sports Festival.

Dinner was lovely, the four Todoroki’s, and you enjoyed a bunch of sashimi while talking. The family dynamic was also bizarre for you to experience. Fuyumi was obviously used to being the conversationalist. She was very talkative and inquisitive during the entire night. Shouto was trying his hardest to -- in the most helpful way possible -- act normal. He was stiff but a good conversationalist if you overlooked the often weird phrases he had to say. Rei seemed to be the mediator, trying her best to enjoy the situation but also getting involved within these sibling discussions. And of course, there was Natsuo, who for the first time since you’ve met him was being quite the Drama Queen.

It was endearing to watch Natsuo quarrel with his sister and brother over matters that seemed so trivial and pointless. They were all very strongwilled, it seemed.

“How about you, y/n-chan,” Rei smiled at you, interrupting the ridiculous argument between Shouto and Natsuo about how Natsuo wasn’t going to wake up in someone else’s body the next morning. “Are you expecting to wake up in your soulmate’s body?”

You smiled stiffly, the searing gaze of the two Todoroki brothers burning into your body while you stared at Rei, was this family always this intense?

“Well, I haven’t yet,” you laugh, brushing your hair to the side, “I would definitely like to, but there’s no saying.”

Shouto seemed to sigh, his finger pointing at you, then motioning over to Natsuo, “But is Natsuo going to wake up knowing his soulmate?”

“Shouto!”

Dinner ended with a scoop of ice cream, and you listened in horror and fascination. At the same time, Shouto explained to his family about the insane adventures he’d had at U.A. After helping with cleaning up and thanking the family for dinner, you ended up following Natsuo into his room.

It took no time for you to fall onto his futon, your arms spread out on his bed while Natsuo grabbed your present for him.

“I wonder what this is,” he sang, plopping down next to you.

You immediately sat back up, a grin on your face due to the excitement that flooded your veins, knowing that this was a pretty damn good present.

“Obviously, it’s a photo album of me,” you teased, and he seemed to agree that it was that while he unwrapped it.

From the bag, he pulled out a hoodie that he had been raving about for months now. He had never bought it because he sucked at saving up money for this exclusive hoodie. It was a navy blue sweatshirt that had English print all over it, you couldn’t read what it said as you didn’t learn English while in high school, but it was supposed to be pretty cool.

“Y/n,” Natsuo breathed slowly, his eyes wide and round, his fingers barely touching the fabric. It was as if he felt the material too much it was stain with his fingertips or complete disintegrates within his touch. “How did you? It was sold out, I checked!”

“You told me about how much you wanted this months ago. It was too late for Christmas, so I bought it in advance for your birthday,” you explained with a grin. Warmth flooded your chest while you watched his starstruck expression, and you only felt your heart beat faster when he turned his attention onto you. So you smiled, even more, your eyes closing in your mirth, “Happy birthday, Natsuo!”

You expected him to hug you, to bring you in close and tell you how grateful he was for this gift -- if that much. But when his fingers touched your cheeks, your eyes flew open to see his gaze focused on your lips.

“Can I kiss you?”

There was nothing you could say, your words failing you entirely because this is what you had wanted for years. Tonight was going to be life-changing for you -- whether it was a pleasant change or an adverse change, you had no idea. You’d wanted this for too long to deny him a just a kiss, right?

Your heart is hammering so loudly you swear he can hear it, and with a shaky placement of your hands on his wrist, you seal the space left between the two of you.

While you had never officially dated anyone before, you’ve definitely kissed other people before Natsuo. Most of the other kisses you had were -- quite frankly -- unideal. Stiff and cold lips, rigid bodies, too much saliva pouring from their mouths, disgust soaking your spine, and awkward hand roaming. But this? This was more than anything you could have ever hoped for.

His lips were gentle against yours. A soft rose petal that warmed you from the inside out, a flexible coax that reminded you that despite your ideals, this is what you wanted most. Your head tilted to the side, allowing your meeting lips to connect further, your bodies coming together in yet a bigger and more powerful wave.

But as the sensations that riled your blood and nerves, the actions the two of you grew bolder, riskier, much more passionate.

His fingers released your chin, moving to grip onto your waist, pulling you in. You gasped against his lips, the demanding actions catching you off guard. Your hands pressed onto his chest, your legs shifting so that you were now straddling the larger boy, and you swore you could see stars the second his tongue skimmed your bottom lip.

Closer.

Better.

Wistful.

Your back arched, your chest meeting his when his tongue traced the roof of your mouth, and your hips involuntarily ground against his nearly trembling thighs. He hissed, barely loud enough for you to hear, but his cold fingers slid under your shirt, and you shuddered.

There was no time to react, you felt your body being flipped, and Natsuo was on top of you, his hips grinding into you emphatically, continuously, and unrelentingly. Your hips met his with every movement, your legs wrapped tightly against his waist, trying your best to get him to lose his train of thought with every roll of your hips. The growing bulge in his pants was only a clear indictment to what you were doing to him. Of what was to come of this night. Your head fell back, your jaw-dropping, while you made choking noises, refusing to let such a loud audible noise escape your mouth. But it seemed that Natsuo wanted to hear you moan, to feel you squirm against his hold.

This was making your body explode with sensations you didn’t think was possible from someone who wasn’t your soulmate.

Natsuo’s lips pressed down your neck to your chest, your mind swam with the word soulmate, and your tongue was drenched with his name.

Soulmate.

Tonight was the night you were going to find out.

“I’ve been in love with you for so long,” Natsuo groaned, his tongue leaving wet stripes against your chest, and with the feeling of his fingers tweaking at your nipples through your shirt, you panicked.

“Get off me!” you squeaked, your hands shoving at his shoulders, your legs unwrapping around him.

“What’s wrong?!” Natsuo panics, his hands checking up and down his wrinkled clothes, his body on edge and filled with worry. “Did I do something wrong?!”

“I can’t do this!” you pant, your body feeling itchy at your conflicting emotions. You could do this, you knew that. It would take nothing for you to spend the night with one Todoroki Natsuo, but not on this night, not when you were so sure that you would figure out who your soulmate is. Not if they would wake up in your body with a naked man beside them. No, you couldn’t do that. “Tonight is the special night… and I can’t… we can’t! Not when there’s a possibility that someone is waiting for me!”

Natsuo’s eyebrows furrow, his face setting into an icy frown. There was a clear understanding on his face, emotions that let you know that while he was very disappointed, he understood.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, your gaze no longer able to reach his.

“It’s okay,” he smiles weakly, but his voice is distant and terse. “I’ll see you out…”

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Your eyes focused on the ceiling of your bedroom.

Even though it was three hours since you’ve left the Todoroki residence, your heart was still unfairly beating at the thought of Natsuo kissing you, and the implications of what the both of you wanted to do but hadn’t mustered the courage to do.

You thought about the fact that he had just broken up with his girlfriend seven days ago, maybe he was projecting his no longer met hormones on you? There was no way your best friend was in love with you and chose not to say anything about it until now. But then again, because he was in a relationship, that confession would have been a dick move. But if he did love you, and not her, why would he have stayed with her?

You’re not really sure when you managed to pass out, considering that you had been tossing and turning for literal hours. But soon, you drifted off to sleep, with nothing but a prayer that when you woke up that you would be in someone else’s body.

Your eyes opened when a crack of sunlight hit your face, and you slammed a hand against your face. But your hand came down heavier against your face, and you groaned in pain. But it wasn’t your voice…

Shooting up from your bed, your eyes searched the room around you. It wasn’t yours, you knew that much. But there was something familiar about the color of the walls and the furniture of the room. Rushing to your feet, you saw a mirror and looked into it.

You were met with grey eyes, gentle, kind, and familiar grey eyes. Your fingers traced the pale skin and felt the white hair on your head.

What were the chances?

Todoroki Natsuo was your soulmate.

A smile spread across your face, an unbelievably gracious joy filling you up. But then Natsuo’s phone began to ring, and you picked it up to see your contact picture showing. It was a rather good picture of you and him, a memory from club rush during your first semester of college. On the top were your first name and a pure heart emoji.

Grinning much broader, you picked up the call, placing the phone to your ear, you spoke.

“Hello?”

“What were the chances?” you heard your voice respond back to you, and it took everything not to giggle lunatically within Natsuo’s body.

“I’d say less than zero.”

“Yet here we are,” he teased you, and you went to push back nonexistent hair behind your ear. Dropping your hand to the dresser, you shake your head.

“Are you disappointed?” you couldn’t help but ask, your worries about you being a distraction for him still hot on your mind.

“Definitely not,” he spoke softly, “I know what you’re thinking, y/n. That you were nothing but a distraction from Mausua, or how when I blurted my feelings, they were too in the moment. I should have broken up with her ages ago, but I don’t know. You just didn’t seem attainable to me.”

“You’re an idiot for thinking that, Todoroki,” you sniff, tears welling in your eyes.

“Hey, now,” he reprimanded you, but the teasing was still heavy in his tone, “it’s Todoroki-san to you.”

A smile grew on your face, and you scoffed playfully, “Todoroki-san? I’d much rather call you daddy.”

Now you knew what noises you made, you were nineteen, nearly twenty with a few sexual experiences yourself. Now the sound that escaped Natsuo’s voice was one of approval, and heat spread through your body.

“We have less than a minute,” Natsuo spoke as lowly as your voice could go, and it sent goosebumps down your spine, “I’ll meet you at your place. Are your roommates here?”

“No.”

“Good.”

Your eyes closed, and you listened to Natsuo’s directions. His voice flowing from your voice and slowly ended with his own. Your eyes fluttered open to see yourself standing in your bathroom with your cellphone to your ear. Heat flooded your body, and you realized just how cold his body was.

“I’ll see you in twenty minutes,” he spoke sharply, and a smirk curled onto your face.

“Okay, daddy,” you accentuated.

You couldn’t see him, but you could feel his nostrils flare from the opposite end of the call, a dark look on his face. The line went dead, and an internal panic flared through your veins.

Twenty minutes to prepare, could you even manage that?!

You took the fastest five-minute shower in your life, nearly slipping against the slick bathtub while shaving your legs. Hopping out of the shower, you were quick to brush your teeth, putting product in your hair, and once you were done, you scrambled back to your room. Your hands throwing on the first set of lingerie you found, it was a navy blue teddy that had a deep plunge between your breasts. You hastily slid your sheer navy blue thigh highs up your legs, and just managed to slip your large t-shirt back over your head when there was a knock on your front door.

Looking into your mirror, you felt your chest tighten, your stomach filling with butterflies that left you feeling dizzy. It felt like an eternity when you walked to the front door, rising to the tip of your toes to see Natsuo standing outside of your door. His signature white with grey jacket over a dark grey tank that seemed just the perfect fit, you noticed black joggers on him too, and your teeth buried against your bottom lip, your heart beating erratically.

“Who is it?” you asked teasingly, watching the way Natsuo’s eyes snapped up, and you grinned at the way a coy smile stretched across his face.

“Open up and find out?”

“Mm,” you sigh, pressing a finger to your chin, “I don’t particularly want to find out.”

But nevertheless, your fingers found themselves on your doorknob, opening the wood door to see Natsuo standing there. His eyes were drinking in your face, and there was such a loving smile that emerged on his face.

“Hi, soulmate,” he whispered.

It was no different from the typical way he greeted you, but the simple addition of soulmate sent fire to your cheeks and stomach.

“Hi,” you whisper, stepping aside, letting him in.

He walked in, and you shut the door behind him, waiting for him to take off his shoes and remove his jacket, you stayed put. Your hands were behind your back, just waiting for him to look at you again. Your thoughts trailed to what was going to happen, would you two have sex? Would he grip your waist so tightly you would be left with purple bruises? Would he enjoy having you as a partner for the rest of his life? You licked your lips as your thoughts wandered.

When he was finally ready, Natsuo took a step towards you, knocking you from your internal turmoil and having you stare straight into his grey eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked you again, and like before, you didn’t answer him.

Reaching up, you brought him down for a kiss, but unlike before, the intentions were already known. The barriers and the restrictions between the two of you were gone, and you melted.

His hands gripped the back of your thighs while he took a confident stride forward, and you followed after him. Your lips were glued to his. Every divet, every line in his lips was smoothed out and memorized against yours. It made your head spin, this was your soulmate, he was yours.

Natsuo’s mouth dragged away from yours, moving downwards on your neck. His teeth bit and pulled at your sensitive skin until you were moaning his name. His hands were running up and down your curves, measuring them against him. A small gasp escaped your lips when your thigh rubbed against his clothed erection, and you shivered when his fingers traced the part of your skin where the thigh highs ended. Growling against your skin, Natsuo’s fingers pulled at the elastic and let it go. The fabric came back against your skin, and you whimpered loudly.

“Natsuo, don’t tease,” you muttered, your fingers pressing against the incredibly defined muscles that were hidden underneath his jacket. You wanted it off. But Natsuo didn’t seem to notice your needs, choosing to continue to press searing kisses against your neck.

“Address me by daddy,” he growled, his lips parting with your skin so that you could stare into his eyes. His gaze was ferocious, drowning, and near angry, but for some reason, it sent heat right to your core before he slammed his lips back against yours into a bruising kiss.

You could barely keep up with his moving lips, your eyes rolling to the back of your head when his hot tongue dragged against your lips.

Your hips weakly ground against his, and Natsuo met your needy hips until you were crying against his mouth, and his tongue invaded your mouth. Your fingers flew to his white hair, fisting the soft tendrils until he snarled. One moment you were on your feet and the next Natsuo’s hands cupped your ass and lifted you up.

Your legs wrapped around his waist, and you felt him walking towards your room.

Your tongue danced against his, your mind doing everything it could to not fall under his spell. To keep fighting, to make sure that this wasn’t going to be easy, no matter what he wanted to be called. Curling your tongue in his mouth, you could feel the shiver go down Natsuo’s spine, and you pulled your tongue back in your mouth.

“Where are you taking me, daddy?” you whisper against his lips, your hips now grinding down against the head of his hard boner. Delighting in the fact that his grip on your ass becomes bruising, your rolling hips don’t slow down.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, baby girl.”

A chill slammed down your spine at that nickname, and you bite down on his lower lip. His gaze met yours, his eyes flaring with an internal fire that only aided to the light between your thighs. Fuck, did you want this man.

The door opened and closed when Natsuo entered your room, and your tongue lapped at his lips.

His right hand left your ass, and you felt him fumble with the waistband of his joggers. You looked down to see his joggers and briefs fall, but had no time to admire the long and thick cock that sprung free from that restraint.

In what seemed like a perfect and fluid motion, Natsuo sat on your bed. He then shoved the panty of your teddy to the side.

“I don’t particularly like being teased, and last night was a lot,” he admitted, his fingers pressing between your already wet folds, and you cursed. Your hips ground against Natsuo’s fingers, and he grinned, seeing your reaction. “I think you deserved to be punished, don’t you think, baby girl?”

“No,” you breathlessly state, the feeling of his thick and cold fingers against your heated core formed goosebumps all over your body. “I think I’ve been perfectly well behaved, daddy.”

“I see we have a liar,” he chuckled, and before you could think of something to return with, his hands gripped your waist and sank you against his cock.

“FUCK!” you screamed at the feeling of his thick cock stretching you out in such a way that had your forehead slamming against his shoulder.

Your hips moved, trying to find a way to adjust to Natsuo’s girth that nearly sent tears to your eyes. You could feel the way his cock twitched within you, your tightness, and slick heat getting to him too while he whispered senseless praises into your ear. Your hips moved forward, both trying to relieve the pressure that demanded to be attended to and to bring the mindnumbing pleasure that your body begged for.

But Natsuo’s hands gripped onto your hips, keeping you against his girth. Your jaw dropped to complain, but his left hand lifted to press his fingers in your mouth, effectively silencing you. You gagged softly against his fingers, and you made a whining noise while his right arm wrapped around your waist.

His right fingers dug into your skin, most likely leaving behind purple bruises while his mouth trailed to your ears.

“You’ve been naughty, baby girl,” he sighed, his fingers pressed against your tongue, spreading out slowly when they traveled further back in your throat. Your breathing piqued, trying to remain calm while your throat attempted to constrict around his fingers. “Now, you’ll sit on my cock until I think you’re ready to be fucked.”

Your eyes fluttered when his fingers began to slide up and down your throat, your hips twitching in an attempt to get the friction you craved, and your inner walls ached around his softly throbbing cock. His finger curled in your throat, and your tongue lashed around his fingers, a desperate attempt to remain calm in this situation.

Forcibly, you clenched your inner walls around his cock, and he hissed out your name.

It felt like an eternity with his cock buried balls deep within you, your mouth trying to please Natsuo’s fingers while you resisted the urge to move.

“Daddy’s gonna fuck you now,” Natsuo muttered and you felt an incredible wave of joy shoot through you, you wanted him to fuck you until your eyes were rolling to the back of your head, drool pouring from your mouth, and his name the only word you could utter.

Suddenly you were on your back, and Natsuo’s cock was no longer in you, nor were his fingers. You shuffled onto your elbows, but Natsuo’s hands grabbed the hem of your shirt and tore it over your head. Your chest rose and fell with your approaching excitement, and Natsuo’s eyes took in the lace teddy that you wore. It blended in with your skin with such refinement that you took in pride at the way his fingers trailed against the fabric.

“Like what you see, daddy?” you ask in almost a whisper, and Natsuo’s snap up to look into your hooded ones.

“You’re so beautiful, baby girl. So perfect,” he agrees, his fingers dragging upwards, moving against your sensitive breasts, making your body arch up into his touch. The stimulation of his cold fingers against your nipples in such thin clothing, along with those sweet affirming words, sent sparks of electricity throughout your body.

His fingers hooked under the straps of the teddy, and soon it was pulled off your body, joining the t-shirt somewhere in the room. It’s removal left you with nothing but the thigh highs, and by the looks of it, he liked that.

You couldn’t find words to tease him with because his finger trailed against your inner thigh, and you trembled at his touch.

Natsuo smirked down at you, placing a soft kiss against your cheek before continuing to kiss along your jawline, to your neck, and then down your sternum. “Tell me, baby girl, what do you want?” Between every word, he trailed further down until his mouth was nibbling at the skin between your thighs, ignoring where you wanted and needed him most.

“I want you to fuck me,” you panted when Natsuo pinched one of your nipples, rolling the hardened skin as his teeth bit against your thighs, making your chest arch up into his touch, and made your legs tremble. Your pussy clenched desperately at his ministrations, your aching clit begging to be touched.

“Do you deserve to cum?” Natsuo pulled away from your thigh with a pop. His fingers trailed back down your stomach, grazing your labia, chuckling at the way your hips twitched against him.

Natsuo slipped two fingers into your cunt, keeping them still inside you as he maintained eye contact. He watched as you writhed beneath him, your hips snapping to relax against the fullness his fingers gave you. Slowly your movements began to feel good; your actions, to feel good, soon became a desperate attempt fuck yourself against his fingers. Slowly Natsuo began to thrust them in and out of your aching core ignoring your throbbing clit that you couldn’t muster the energy to touch.

“Please, daddy,” your hands found themselves holding onto his forearm, fiercely trying to get him to do more with his fingers. “Fuck me good.”

Growling lowly, Natsuo arched his two fingers towards puffy inner walls, pressing down against it, and he watched your face contort in pleasure as a low whine left your lips. Natsuo grinned when he saw the way your eyes clenched closed, musical moans pouring from your lips when his fingertips brushed against your g-spot. Your jaw dropped, your hips taking over his finger fucking so that you were fucking yourself on his fingers. The clenching of your walls grew more and more, your toes curling with the impending orgasm approaching you, the build-up overwhelming.

“So needy, baby girl,” Natsuo suddenly removed his fingers from your heat, your whines and desperate cries ignored while you bucked your hips up towards him, desperate for a release. You watched as Natsuo examined your slick essence on his fingers before looking at you. “Suck it off the baby girl,” he said, putting his fingers between your mouth, and without a second thought, your mind is broken from the denied orgasm you opened your mouth and sucked your sweet essence from them as you writhed beneath him. The taste of yourself on your tongue drove you almost insane; you liked the taste intermingled with the taste of him. What would you have to do to get a taste of his cum with yours? “You’re not allowed to cum until I say you can, baby girl.”

Your mouth loosed against his fingers, and you whined at his instruction. Natsuo only shoved his fingers further down your throat and roughly fisted his cock, using his hand to glide it along your slit, gathering your juices along the tip with a low groan. He pressed the head inside your tight cunt, watching as your body reacted to the sensation. Your hips pushing forward, trying to get him to go deeper. Natsuo chuckled while he rubbed his cock along your slit again, teasing you, not giving you what you craved most.

“Tell me what you want me to do, baby girl,” Natuso mockingly asked, knowing exactly what you wanted. His fingers removed from your mouth, and you gasped with the needed breath, and when you were ready, you spoke.

“Fuck me, daddy, I need you to—” Natsuo’s fingers pressed against your clit, making you shrill in pleasure.

“Such naughty words,” Natsuo ran his fingertip over your clit, smirking when your tongue came out in a pathetic pant, trying to control your desperate and needy breathing. The action made Natsuo groan, immediately imagining how that would feel on other parts of his body. His restraint wavering when he pulled back, steadying himself between your legs before he slammed into your aching pussy without warning. The sensation of feeling completely full after being denied sent you soaring towards your release.

“Such a good girl,” Natsuo pressed a sloppy kiss to your lips, thrusting into your pussy as he watched your mouth fall open in pleasure. A constant slew of gibberish leaving your lips as you became lightheaded from the desire, and your arms wrapped around his shoulders to bring him closer. Natsuo’s cock fit inside you perfectly, the prominent veins on his length brushing against your inner walls were now moving, no longer stagnant, and only added to your pleasure. The tight feeling in the core of your stomach began to overwhelm you, the tip of his cock consistently pounding against your sweet spot, your climax threatening to wash over you. “Do you know how fucking gorgeous you are? These thigh highs are fucking driving me crazy… so pretty, so beautiful against your skin. It’s like you dressed this way on purpose, trying to get me to fuck you like you deserve to be fucked.

You whimpered while you shifted your arms around Natsuo’s neck, pulling his body flush against your own as he continued to rut into your tight heat. The angle at which his snapping hips were drilling into you had his pelvis rub against your clit, your legs tightening around his hips as his cock rubbed against your inner walls. You cried out his name, your clit throbbing at the sensation, your body stiffening as he moved faster.

“Who do you think you’re addressing?” Before you could attempt to respond, Natsuo’s right-hand leaves your hip and slams to your throat, choking the response from you. “I want to hear you correct your answer.”

His hand remains heavy and tight around your throat, his hold barely allowing oxygen to travel through to your lungs. Your vision fuzzed, and you could feel your heartbeat in your head, but your core shook with Natsuo’s now reciprocating and rhythmic slams.

“Y-You are, daddy,” you moan loudly, your thighs trembling with the feeling of his fingers around your throat.

Choking and clit stimulation with his cock pounding into your cervix, Natsuo chuckled into your skin. His thrusting hips were becoming more precise, angling into you in a way that made you audibly choke when you needed to gasp. Maybe it was the lack of oxygen to your body that was making you delirious, or perhaps it was the fact that he was slamming into you with the strength of rearranging your guts, but your hips began to swivel at an inhumane pace. Your cunt held a vice grip around his cock, yet it did nothing to slow Natsuo down, but the growing heated pit in your lower belly was making your legs tremble against his. Still, you tried to keep up with his rough and cruel pace, and Natsuo enjoyed knowing that detail.

“You’re fucking beautiful, baby girl. Your pretty little pussy is so fucking tight, I bet you’ve been saving yourself for me? Such a good girl, taking my cock like this, you’re fucking amazing.” He praises, his teeth biting down against your bottom lip. Your breathless moans slipping past your lips. “You enjoy being choked, baby girl?”

Your head nods, “Y-Yes, daddy!”

“Do you need to cum? Maybe I’ll allow it, your pussy has been so good.”

His hand against your throat tightened, and black dots littered your vision. His teeth sunk far into your skin, enough for you to feel your skin breaking as his tongue moving in cold strokes to calm your now throbbing skin. Then there were his nimble left fingers running against your clit and pressed delicate circles in time with his hammering and throbbing cock. But your swiveling hips held no value anymore, Natsuo’s hips snapped upwards fast enough and powerful enough to overcome and overwhelm you. The only thing you could tell was that along with the tip of his cock hitting your bruising walls, the sounds of your sopping wet pussy crashing against his forceful hips frantically rang in your ears.

Your bodies moved together entirely, his thrusts pushing you back further into the bed as he followed your movements. The bed frame hitting the wall with every harsh thrust, and your mattress springs creaking heavy in your ears. The noise of the headboard slamming against the wall was almost as loud as your moans of pleasure as your fingernails ripped into Natsuo’s shoulders, calling out his name in a mantra.

“I need to cum, daddy. P-please, let me cum—” Natsuo could feel your body shaking underneath him as your orgasm was so close after being built up and denied.

“Cum for me, y/n.” Natsuo groaned as your inner walls clenched around his length at his vulgar words, “cum all over my cock.”

Your eyes clamped closed, almost in synch. Your head nods, the heated pressure in your belly scorching. Your walls clamp down against his hammering cock, but it doesn’t slow him down, only encouraging him to increase his speed and strength until the bed shuddered against your weight. The sopping noises of your meeting sex filled your ears, and you moaned loudly, your teeth biting down onto your lip.

It takes his cock brushing against your g-spot for your legs to slam outwards, your arms nearly succeeding in choking Natsuo as you try sitting up as your orgasm slams through you.

“Fuck, fuck, FUCK!” You scream hoarsely. Your scream only increases in great thrill when you feel Natsuo’s cock twitching unrestrainedly within you. But Natsuo ignores his own near, his hips continuing to drill into you, his hand clamping tighter against your neck, cutting off your voice.

Natsuo isn’t done yet, not yet.

His hands move to grip the exposed back of your thighs, his grip bruising your supple skin. He slams into you faster, his cock continuing unaffected by your convulsing walls. There are no other noises except your wet cunt meeting his cock, your muffled shrieks of approval, and Natsuo’s heavy breathing as he continues to drive into you. Your convulsing walls body only making Natsuo stammer and curse loudly.

His lips find yours, and there is nothing to say, the kiss is messy, saliva coating your lips like lipstick. Spit filled kisses were exchanged between the two of you without care, while he chases his orgasm. His intense pace continues, your name growled from your throat, until one last thrust and one final clamp from your cunt sends him over.

Natsuo soon collapsed on top of you, his typically colder body burning with an almost feverish heat while his fingers traced against the frill of your thigh highs.

“That was something,” you mumble into his ear, and Natsuo snorts softly, his head nodding in agreement.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he whispered, pushing off your body; his eyes examined your raw body.

“Nah,” you disagreed with a smile, your fingers brushing through the bangs of his hair. “If you did, I liked it.”

“Masochist,” he teased, his lips pressing against yours in a soft and tender kiss.

“I just might be, and if I am?”

“Then I think we’ll get along just fine, baby girl.”

“Okay, daddy.”

Soulmates weren’t perfect; you knew that more than anyone! But, while you lay there with his head against your chest. Hours after the two of you had cleaned up and gone for a few more rounds, you realized that this was what you wanted. You and your soulmate. That’s all that mattered when you were together, and things worked out.

#todoroki natsuo #todoroki natsuo x reader #natsuo x reader #natsuo smut #todoroki x reader #todoroki smut #bnha #bnha x reader #mha #mha x reader

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faebriel · 3 years

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ok ok I'm insane and couldn't pick one so have two (no need to answer both if you don't want to)

“You talk to him.” Not kindly, but he does.

“I’m used to him,” he shoots back. “I’m the only person who is.”

That makes Niki feel something, some uncomfortable tug in her chest. She mentally kicks herself. It’s not jealousy, she reminds herself, because despite the near-cliff jumping and the long nights without food and the nuclear fallout that has punctuated her last few months, being jealous of Tommy would be the least reasonable thing she’s allowed herself to be, maybe ever.

“You don’t believe me,” Tommy says flatly. “You never - eugh.” He cuts himself off with another ragged sigh, running a hand down his face. “Look, Niki, it’s - we were all together in Pogtopia, right? But I was there first. With him. And you didn’t see the start of it, it was horrible, and I’m glad no one else saw the beginning of it either but it was still just so shit and he kept saying all these terrible things about Tubbo and Fundy and you and,” he takes a shaky breath, “then, when I died, I saw him.”

Her breath catches in her throat.

Well, the voice in the back of her head whistles. If you were still wondering about all this afterlife bullshit, if you want to know where you’re going after your third life, here you go.

and

“You didn’t even - this isn’t about L’Manberg, Wilbur!” Niki shouts.

And then he stops, breathing hard, and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say.

“What else is there?” he asks.

Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut, her chest, her shoulders, chilled down to the bone. With slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes, sitting in her throat, threatening to spill over into a sob. She swallows - to keep her cool, to stay calm, to keep it together -

And then, something in her chest just snaps.

“You said you’d come back for me!” she cries, and her voice hitches on the lump of tears at the back of her throat and god, she sounds absolutely pathetic. Wilbur’s face softens immediately, which somehow just makes her feel even worse. “In Manberg. When Schlatt put me in prison, and you and Tommy were in Pogtopia, you said you’d break me out when it was safe. I waited for weeks , Wilbur. It was… it was horrible.”

“Niki…” a kaleidoscope of emotions flicker across his face, and he seems unsure which to settle on. “We got you out though, right? After the festival.”

“You looked for the button first,” she says quietly, and he stills.

Her sniffling sounds embarrassingly loud against the quiet background of night.

thank you sm!!! i’m gonna put these under the cut because they got a little long sorry (tw for discussion of suicidal ideation)

to preface: tommy is kind of the accidental but incredibly necessary invisible support beam for niki and wilbur’s making amends in bitter. niki cannot accept wilbur’s actions and apology without first acknowledging her own actions and making steps towards an apology, because otherwise it kind of falls flat? in that ending scene niki finally gets what wilbur is feeling and wilbur finally gets that someone else knows how he feels (it’s not perfect 100% yet, but…. that’ll get explored later)

onto the actual snippet! “tommy talks to wilbur - not kindly, but he does” was very important to me! tommy has stuck by wilbur ever since pogtopia, but the tragedy is that he is not equipped to deal with wilbur’s issues, and it shows. wilbur’s first stream after revival depicts this really clearly, where tommy tails wilbur around the whole time but insults him, is still stuck on calling him the villain, physically fights him at some point, etc. on one hand this isn’t healthy but on the other hand tommy is actually around, which is more than can be said for basically any other ally wilbur has had on the dsmp, maybe excluding his dad, who literally killed him lmfao.

this whole issue is exacerbated by the fact that tommy believes that he is the only person who properly understands wilbur, the only person who gets what happened to him, and feels like wilbur is generally his burden to bear. he failed to stop wilbur from both 1. hurting other people and 2. killing himself after the pogtopia-manberg war - and he doesn’t trust wilbur not to do either of those things again, so he’s stuck hovering around wilbur while wilbur is inadvertently setting off his own trauma and feeling responsible for any way he might fuck up and hating that but not wanting to leave. tommy’s memory isn’t perfect and he isn’t a perfect narrator, what he remembers from pogtopia the most were the scariest parts and that’s understandable but it means he’s holding wilbur to the worst expectations of behaviour (and he does so very vocally). the others showed up later, sure, but in tommy’s eyes he’s the only one who saw wilbur’s descent, and by the time they showed up wilbur had already changed irreversably. tommy tries to rationalise this by splitting the ‘different wilburs’ apart from each other in his head (he does this in canon too - there’s one quote from like late 2020 where he says he and tubbo need to keep on going for who wilbur used to be, not who he became, even though they’re,, the same person), and no one challenges that perspective, so he just keeps doing it even though it’s not healthy for him or wilbur.

and then limbo happened and, oh geez, THAT didn’t help jhfaskjjfsa

tommy is on a bit of a knife edge with niki in this fic. niki’s in this state of “ok, he’s annoying whatever, i’m moving on”, but all tommy knows is that she tried to kill him that one time, disappeared off the face of the map, joined a book club with two people who definitely do not like him, and now is just acting weirdly mellow and polite. she is not someone he wants near wilbur bc what the fuck is she gonna do? what is he gonna do? who knows. he’s frustrated that niki doesn’t seem to acknowledge how he’s feeling (especially bc once upon a time she would have been someone he trusted to acknowledge them - they were friends, they fought together) and he’s taking a big step by telling someone about his concerns here, especially bc tommy doesn’t really like talking about them at all. he wouldn’t be saying absolutely anything to niki if he didn’t truly believe she should stay away from wilbur, even if he’s wrong about him. (sometimes i think i write tommy as a little too emotionally mature here but it all goes out the window when wilbur’s brought up. idk if that balances it out)

ok onto niki: this is the first she has actually heard of limbo! she’s only just come around to the fact that resurrection is possible at all. death is kind of a touchy subject for niki both in general and re: wilbur in the fic - she’s coming off of a period in her life where suicidal ideation was, uh, a big thing (whether you want to read that into canon or not is subjective, that’s just the angle i went with in this fic). the sudden existence of a life after death, miserable as it is - and whether she really believes in such a place, when it only exists in tommy and wilbur’s words - that is a lot of information for her to absorb all at once. death is a weird connection point for tommy and niki here, coming right off of the fact that they’ve just acknowledged each other having those problems - tommy, out of, yknow, altruism, would very much like to keep niki out of that place, and niki is quietly reckoning with the fact that that is where she would have sent him. the concept of limbo from the perspective of a character with no experience of it, even secondhand, is so interesting to me like what kind of eldritch location would you feel like you’re living in asghjkl

(also - i gotta be honest the jealousy angle here but mostly when she’s talking later about dream not deserving wilbur’s companionship kinda came out after this post came across my dash while writing. whoops /j)

fun fact, this is the very first snippet of bitter that i ever wrote! all the way back in may!! this is like the moment of the fic - it's where the miscommunication that niki and wilbur have been having is shattered entirely - and so sticking the landing was uhhh kinda important to me lol.

wilbur's entire being in this fic is basically consumed by L'Manberg - he equates his self worth to it entirely. in his eyes, everyone (rightfully) hates him because of what he did to L'Manberg, because L'Manberg was corrupted and he himself with it, etc. niki tries to tell herself this, and while it definitely does form part of her issues with him, it was the betrayal that causes her this much pain - that he seemingly brushed her and their friendship off entirely when he supposedly left her for dead in manberg. because here is what we as the audience know: wilbur couldn’t leave niki in trouble when he heard her life was in danger, even when he was trying to find the button (pretty much the only thing he sees himself as having left at this point) and so he returned. here is what it looks like from niki’s perspective: wilbur told her to wait in manberg until it was safe to come to pogtopia, laid the place with TNT, went to blow up the place, and only returned when he couldn’t find the detonator (and then the first thing she saw him do in pogtopia was encourage the pit behaviour but that’s not what we’re talking about asdfgh). that is massive miscommunication and it’s been brewing between them for months - to make a quirky little reference to the title, niki has been carrying that anger with her so long it's gone bitter. it was never just about l’manberg with niki - not that anger, not her and wilbur’s friendship (hence the little flashback earlier in the fic, bc niki’s relationship to anarchism and statehood or statelessness juxtaposed with her friendships with wilbur and eret - she loves l’manberg bc she loves wilbur, but she loves eret too and those national ties don’t undermine that - is Real Interesting to me) - so when wilbur asks what else there could possibly be (because in his mind, what else could she have bothered staying around for?), she just fucking breaks.

“Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut...with slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes” - prose discussion time! heat and cold are two big throughlines in this fic - particularly for niki, cold is what she is. admittedly when i started with it i mostly wanted to subvert hot = angry and cold = dead but i kinda ended up enjoying this take on it for what it is instead of just as a subversion (also i like the idea of revived people running hot, their bodies r working hard to keep em going). she’s holding onto her feelings and refusing to deal with them, she’s frozen over. descriptions of cold are key to niki’s mental state throughout the fic - cold weight on her chest, feelings of frostbite when she and wilbur hug the first time, ice cold water during the dinner scene, waking up in the cold flat, etc. this was an attempt at describing a more visceral feeling of like, when you’re really mad and you can just feel the adrenaline running through your veins. always felt more cold than hot to me. when she starts to cry, the facade she’s been putting on is finally thawing out and cracking the ice she’s buried her feelings under. (also gives an excuse to write warm comforting hugs towards the end /hj). it’s a loss, it’s catharsis, it’s a whole mess.

and ofc this is all news to wilbur and he feels terrible, because as unintentional as it was, he really really hurt her - because the destruction of l’manberg fucking sucked but above all else wilbur hurt the people he loved because they loved him so much and not in spite of it, because they cared about him so deeply and his death was a massive blow to them. this hasn’t even dawned on him, because how could it? he respects deeply niki (lowkey respects her opinion more than his own at this point) so he has to listen, because it’s niki (“and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say” - because he does), and what she says fucking floors him. in his eyes, he failed her by putting her in danger and then by destroying her home - the idea that she valued him and their friendship so much flies entirely over his head until this moment, and he is forced to re-evaluate the mindset that has motivated him since… basically since pogtopia! the way i write wilbur is like… yes, he’s one of niki’s closest friends and he’s more aware of her insecurities and issues than most (which is why he does always take the time to listen to her, etc) but he does over-idealise her a bit. tbf, i think he does to some extent with everyone (calling tubbo strong on the anniversary stream, for example). also the fact that he really wasn’t around for niki’s lowest moments as a character! he still thinks of her the way she was in l’manberg - confident, steadfast, respected - and this moment shatters that for him as he realises exactly what effect he and his death had on her and everyone else, not just by his actions, but because they loved him and cared for him so deeply.

sorry that this got horrifically long!! and thank you so much for sending snippets in <3333

#ALSO SORRY THIS TOOK TWO WEEKS. LMFAO #asks #thespoonisvictory #dvd commentary #< i have successfully coerced a discord server into doing the dvd commentary on a regular basis and it is the BEST thing

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