#College Professors

[mycatsaidwhat]

Things I’ve heard professors say pt. 14

-you guys turn in your assignments, that’s so selfish of you 

-have any of you ever been on a sinking ship? Other than this university? Or the American republic in general 

-and then in this next Federalist painting we have the image of the Bible upside down in the hands of Democratic Republicans, because subtlety

-there is a solution to that, and that is called alcohol 

-yeah it’s not particularly diplomatically conducive to assassinate the leaders of the country you’re trying to wage an alliance with. It would be like if Biden met with Trudeau and shot him.

-the US calling their 1790s an “Indian problem” is like Russia saying they currently have a “Ukraine problem”   

-Thomas Jefferson coined the term “coo coo bananas.” It’s right there in the Declaration of Independence 

-*students point out that Tennessee and Kentucky are mislabeled on a professional academic 21st century map of early American colonies* so anyway–

-(student) do you want us to write our essay as if we’re addressing someone who doesn’t know anything about the American revolution, like our past essays?

(professor) Just write it like an essay, Skyler, Jesus  

-the french motto is “liberty, equality, fraternity.” now this doesn’t mean that all the men are going to join a group and paddle each other while drunk, but lots of shit happened during the french revolution, so who knows 

-I know what you’re all thinking--but what about the serial killer polygamist?!! 

-and because every artist thought they were a poet in the 18th century, there is a horrible rhyme at the end of this political cartoon 

-*trips over a wet floor sign* what are you trying to assassinate me for?

-profilers have feelings too, I guess. Actually no, no they don’t, what am I fucking saying 

-i stole all the textbooks so you don’t have to 

-if anyone is bored enough to read John Locke–

-*trying to flip to the the correct map in his slideshow* where in the freaking hell– 

#college #college life #still tagging this as shit i've heard high schoolers say #College student humor #college humor #college memes #college problems #gen z life #gen z problems #school #school life #school problems #school memes #college professors #university #gen z

[eretzyisrael]

Just one day after the 50th anniversary of the surprise Arab attack on Israel that launched the 1973 Yom Kippur War, jihadists from Gaza's Hamas and Islamic Jihad terrorist organizations unleashed another surprise attack on Israel on Oct. 7. Amidst rape outrages, at least dozens taken hostage, hundreds dead and thousands wounded in Israel, numerous anti-Israel academics in Middle East studies have opened a second Twitter/X front in the terrorist war against the Jewish state.

While Israeli writer Lazar Berman speculated that "October 7, 2023 saw the most Jews slaughtered in a single day since the Holocaust," San Francisco State University associate professor of ethnic studies Rabab Abdulhadi fell in line behind the genocidal terrorists, tweeting that Hamas members "are merely defending themselves ... against colonial & racist violence."

#academia #college professors #hamas terrorists

[armitageshux]

4 types of college Professors

Chill - Never takes attendance. Syllabus doesn’t mean a thing. Doesn’t care if you come to class, but is so nice, you feel guilty if you don’t. Multiple people will stick their heads into the classroom during the lecture just to say hi. Goes over every question that will be on the exam in detail, then tells you they’ll let you retake it if you get less than 80%. Relates everything back to personal life in an absolutely hilarious, but always informative way. Can make the most boring subject absolutely fascinating. Knows everyone by name. Volunteers somewhere at some youth addiction treatment center. Facebook full of former students. Will answer you on Twitter before answering an email. Has multiple “favorite professor of the year” plaques. Knows all the slang. Everyone passes the class with 80% or better.

Passionate - Forgets to take the attendance more often than not. Hates giving exams - wants you to understand the material, not parrot back definitions. Will get in the fight with the college over exam requirements. Syllabus flexible and probably filled with grammatical errors. On top of current events and always armed with a dozen recent news articles relating to the course. Likely to drive something from the late ‘80s that looks to be held together with duct tape and a prayer. Gives most points for class discussions. Emails distracted but always have more information than you need. You’ll pass the class, but find yourself caring more about the stuff you learned than the grade. Writes killer recommendation letters.

Obsessive - Always takes attendance. Keeps the attendance sheet on the table until half-past starting time, just to pointedly mark off when you’ve arrived late. Syllabus has 10-12 pages and requires a doctorate degree in the subject you’re taking. If there's a mistake in it, will insist you're following instruction wrong, rather than admit to making the mistake. Mid-term contains six essay questions; the final exam is accumulative. Does not eat or drink in class, with the exception of one generic water bottle. Three research papers, each one five pages longer than the previous one. No phone in class, not even for emergencies. The textbook is God, you must memorize it. If you pass the class, you wear that as a badge of honor. You'll have no clue what their class was even about approximately 3-6 months after you’re done. You'll have nightmares about their class for years.

All Done - Always takes attendance. You aren’t there on time, don’t bother coming. Doesn’t have time for you. Teaches three other classes at the same college, a High School class, and five other classes at a different college. Just wants to retire. Never answers emails. Nods and tunes out when you’re speaking. Doesn’t get upset when you don’t do the work - seems to expect failure at every turn. Has a presidential election sticker on the car, but it’s couple of decades old, and you think this is the last time they cared about anything. The total grade consists of a few papers, a few presentations, and homework. Will collect the homework, but won’t read half of it. You never get your papers back, and probably won’t know what your grade is till 2 weeks after the class is done. You’ll pass, but a little part of your soul will die in the process.

#college #professors #college professors #m #text #i've had all 4 of these #more of the last one than any other #which is kind of sad

[perfectly-princely-emo-nightmare]

“Before we begin, I’d just like to inform you that your professor is not an asshole.”

—my differential equations professor today

#lol #college #college professors

[onsecondandfirstplace]

do you think my professors notice that i dress sluttier when i ask them to extend my deadline

#i have specific outfits i wear when i want to convince a professor to do smth for me #is it like #morally wrong #dark academia #academia #dark academia aesthetic #shitposting #insomnia ramblings #university things #university life #uni life #uni stuff #uni #college #college professors #college experience #truly

[undergraduate-uncensored]

I’m on the dark side of the law.

- Criminal Psychology Professor

#quotes #overheard quotes #college quotes #college #undergraduate #undergrad student #psychology #prelaw #criminology #college professors #university #around campus

[inabluedr3am]

bitches with multiple masters degrees really be posting pdfs like this for their class, I will scREM

#mine #memes #college professors

[sktsficrecs]

Title: take me to the limit, hold me down there

Words: 4k

Tags: college/University, professors, established relationship

Summary:

The Rate My Professor quotes start becoming a regular occurrence. Atsumu wonders if any of his students now are making reviews to egg on the antagonism because some appear that are hilarious.

Miya Atsumu’s page, written on the board by Sakusa: “Peel away the layers of his superadded bombast and you get very little, maybe a whimpering thought, a distant muffled howl, a cry for help.”

Sakusa Kiyoomi’s page, written by Atsumu: “BORING! But I learned there are 152 tiles on the ceiling.”

Thoughts: me? back with another professor au? Absolutely.

Link:

#haikyuu!! #miya atsumu #sakuatsu #sakusa kiyoomi #fic rec #fic recs #msby black jackal #skts #reading recommendations #haikyuu #short #college #college professors #established relationship

[jeyna-perspective]

Y'all I stressed cried in my professor's office last semester when I was confused about an assignment and then got a 60 and 80 which dropped my grade to a B. I also sent my professor a commented version of why I was confused since it worked the first time and that's how I don't forget anything.

I'm not mad that this professor added everything she said in class but never put in writing into her syllabus. I'm upset that she had the nerve to indicate that I was SOLELY the problem.

#what is purpose #NOT what is a purpose #answering solely what is the purpose is incorrect #college #first world problems #college professors #can i go home now

[mfaculty]

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#education #highered #research #college #educación #teaching & learning #college success #writing #dissertation #research title #data #strategic learning #teach #teaching college #academic #analysis #college professors #research topic #research methodology #research outline

[seraphinethegreat]

My professor, after rambling about barbecue for half of lecture: this will not be on the quiz, by the way.

Like dude, I sure fucking hope it’s not, this is a political science class and you’ve spent the last twenty minutes debating the virtues of barbecue sauce

#college #professors #college professors #college problems #college posting #college profs #college be like #chaotic academia #chaotic prof #bbq #bbq sauce #bbq & grilling #he had a point but it took him five ever to get there #idk what else to tag

[anonymousdandelion]

A general tip for students who are sending those dreaded Religious Absence Emails to your professors: Rather than asking permission to take the day(s) off, politely let them know that you will be taking the day(s) off.

In other words, consider not saying this:

"May I miss class on [date] so I can observe [holiday]?"

It's not that there's anything wrong with the above, per se. But because it's phrased as a request, it risks coming across as optional — a favor you hope to be granted. Problem is, favors are not owed, and so unfortunately asking permission opens the door for the professor to respond "Thanks for asking. No, you may not. :)"

Instead, try something along the lines of:

"I will need to miss class on [date] because I will be observing [holiday]. I wanted to let you know of this conflict now, and to ask your assistance in making arrangements for making up whatever material I may miss as a result of this absence."

This is pretty formal language (naturally, you can and should tweak it to sound more like your voice). But the important piece is that, while still being respectful, it shifts the focus of the discussion so that the question becomes not "Is it okay for me to observe my religion?", but rather, "How can we best accommodate my observance?"

Because the first question should not be up for debate: freedom of religion is a right, not a favor. And the second question is the subject you need to discuss.

(Ideally, do this after you've looked up your school's policy on religious absences, so you know what you're working within and that religious discrimination is illegal. Just in case your professor forgot.)

#this strategy got me through all of college #and some professors were a lot more supportive than others but no one ever told me no #because i didn't give them the chance #jumblr #judaism #religious absences #relevant to other minority religions as well #as well as non-religious accommodations #and non-school settings #dandelion says #jewish dandelion #note: the policy/legality details will vary depending on where you live and go to school #when i talk about religious discrimination laws this is based on public universities in the us

[parkersthings]

ughhhhhhhh

I am trying to get dropped from one of my courses and the professor who in the past has responded to every email within a couple hours is ghosting me and I can't drop the class by myself. Like bruh just let me leave your class I don't want to be here and you don't want me here this is a mutually beneficial arrangement

#rant #college #i am so stressed #the perfectionist in me wants to continue to do course work for the class but the realist in me knows that i will perish trying to keep up #college professors

[completelylettuce]

Walked into english class today to see a picture of Steph and Ayesha Curry on the big projector screen. Professor asked each person as they walked in who they thought was better looking.

#that was so random #i was so confused #why #funny #college #college professors

[udgeyjudge]

i feel like i complain a lot about how much my uni classes are turning some of my favourite maths topics into boring slogs, but i feel like im not properly communicating just how *grave* of an error i find this to be

when i tell you that my professor started a lesson with "let's begin. Definition: ..." im expecting you to ROAR with frustration at the lack of historical context and motivation for that POOR SWEET DEFINITION

when i say my professor only mentioned finite fields as an aside and never explained how cool they are im expecting you to GRIEVE for those finite fields FOR THEIR SPLENDOR IS DOOMED TO REMAIN UNSEEN FOR YET ANOTHER SEMESTER AND THIS IS A TRAGEDY BEYOND WORDS

#math #university #college #college professors

[kokoa-la]

Ngl I just find it so funny if Danny just accidentally becomes friends with someone trying to rob him like-

___________________________________

“Get up!”

And he was up, hands above his head and everything. The guy in all black proceeded to pat him down along his pockets while pointing a gun at him otherwise. 

“How do you not have a wallet on you?”

“I’m a college student, I can barely afford tuition.”

That’s a lie, he was on a full ride scholarship, but they didn’t need to know that. 

“Oh you too?”

Did this bitch just say ‘you too’ ? No way.

“‘You too?’ Are you doing this to pay for college???”

Ancients, the school system sucked if he had to resort to crime for this.

“Yeah- you wouldn’t believe how expensive my major is, the textbooks alone cost more than my rent!”

“Holy shit, no kidding. Yeah, why are textbooks so expensive? Why am I paying hundreds of dollars for something that could have been a 2 dollar pdf?”

“Right! I tried asking my professor instead, but he said he’d fail me if I didn’t have the right materials! It’s driving me nuts. Like how am I supposed to pay for all this?”

How Dannt started making conversation with his own robber, he didn’t know, but he was happy to finally complain with someone. He hadn’t exactly made friends since he got here.

“Personally I buy used books, and the more trashed they are, the cheaper. Then, you can just use the pdf version but still have the textbook in class. It’s honestly so much easier. Or you can see if you can borrow it from the library and just bring it in for the classes he checks it, then return it after to avoid the fees. That option is a bit more troublesome though.”

“Oh shit, no way! That’s awesome, I never thought of that, thanks man! Man, I wish I talked to you sooner.” 

“Yeah, it’s all good, maybe just avoid the crime after this? There’s tons of online jobs you can do during class and stuff. I don’t know, there’s always another option than crime. You sound like a good guy, just desperate.”

The robber turned friend (?) lowered his gun and sighed before returning the items in the bag to everyone. He then apologized to the cashier and then to everyone else before giving Danny a hug (how long had it been since he’d gotten one of those?) and leaving. Danny was so proud of him he almost cried (again). 

______________

I know it's a bit weird and out of place, but that's bcs its a snippet from a fic I'm writing on ao3 😭

But still, I need more of Danny befriending ppl trying to jump/rob him

#dc x dp #dp x dc #danny phantom #danny fenton #college au #prompt #dc x dp prompt #dp prompt #college is too damn expensive #sometimes the guy trying to rob you is just a desperate college student with a mean professor who won't let him use a pdf #justice for side character a