#Cause it’s not like y’all’s shit don’t stink

[bad268]

Can you please write a Pezzy x gn! reader for the truth or hydrate stream, where the reader admits that they’d date Pezzy & find him attractive (and maybe make some suggestive jokes), and how he & the others would react? I love your writing, by the way, keep up the great work!

Confess or Drink (Pezzy X Reader)

Fandom: RPF/Miscellaneous

Requested: Clearly (did I start this the same way as the last one? Yes. Why? Because it’s from the same video, but trust, I did change it lol)

Warnings: Mentioned reader being on Adderall

POV: First Person (I/me)

W.C. 1547

Summary: A little too much alcohol and a little too much confessed.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Pinterest)

“What’s up gamers? How y’all doing today?” Droid started off as people began flooding into the stream. I was grabbing a couple of drinks from the fridge as the guys bantered back and forth before sitting next to Pezzy, closer to the computer to read the chat. “Someone wanna explain bruh? It’s a lot.”

“Bitch, it’s your thing!” Grizzy laughed along with Puffer and Pezzy while rolled my eyes and cracked open a Mike’s. 

“Geez, we’re doing truth or drink,” Droid explained, going into deeper detail. Puffer, jokingly, started snoring, so Droid said, “Aye, quiet down in the back, yeah?”

“Chat says it's a slumber party,” I laughed, pointing out since the message was highlighted. 

“Guys, take your shoes off, stay awhile. Slumber party!” Pezzy joked, enthusiastically. “Are your feet stinky?”

“Please don’t. I do not need chat spamming about feet for the next 2 hours,” I groaned as I leaned back. Droid was already pulling his shoes off and trying to smell them. “Can you not?”

“I can smell them from here actually! Those actually smell,” Puffer complained. Droid tried to smell his feet again, and he made a face before putting his shoes on.

“You realized they stink?” I asked rhetorically, chuckling as I took a drink. “Okay, what are we doing?”

“This is the dealio,” Droid started. “Truth or drink. If someone doesn’t want to answer a question, they have to take a shot.”

“Oh, this was meant to be hot sauce?” Grizzy asked, looking at the box.

“Yeah, it's a Hot Ones game,” I laughed, leaning over Pezzy to point at the box.

“He’s a pussy, dude,” Pezzy stated.

“Y’all keep it at 89 fucking degrees in this house. You think I want hot sauce right now?” Grizzy emphasized.

“That’s all Pezzy, bruh,” Droid muttered.

“Ok, ladies,” I interrupted. “Let’s just do the first card. Puffer can start ‘cause he’s at the end. Simple.”

“And this is why we have you,” Pezzy laughed. “Keep us on track.”

“Oh, yeah have the person who relies on Adderall to keep y'all on track,” You responded sarcastically. “Makes sense to me.”

“Okay, guys. What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve done?” Puffer read off the card before turning his attention to the rest of us.  

“I shit my pants in a car ride home with my friends,” Grizzy said immediately. We all started talking over each other until Grizzy interrupted us, “I was like 8, bro!”

“I got one,” Puffer paused as Droid said that he knew it. “I fell in the San Antonio River.”

“OH! What the fuck?!” Droid shouted. All of us started laughing as Puffer told the story of the bike breaking and flinging him into the river. “There’s no ladder, so once you’re in, you’re in.”

“My dad took me to the track,” Droid started, going into a long story about how he shit himself immediately after arriving home. “I think I was just relieved to be home and I made it far enough.”

“Mine was when I was in school and I trusted a fart too much,” Pezzy began. “I had to call my mom and say I shit my pants.”

“Holy shit, guys! Literally!” I laughed as I finished my first drink. “While I did not shit myself after age 6, I ‘fell’ into the fountain in Las Vegas during the national anthem once for $100. Try explaining you’re broke to the police and them not believing you.”

“That’s crazy dude,” Pezzy laughed.

“Crazy? I was crazy once-”

“NO stop!”

~

“Who would you trade lives with?”

“Puffer?” Droid and Grizzy eyed him.

“Nah, I’m good. My answer is I’m good,” Puffer said fast.

“I think I’d be down to swap with Pezzy,” I chuckled, looking over to him. I held up my drink as if to cheers with him. “What do you say?”

“I’m down,” He agreed, clanking his bottle with mine.

~

“Who have you fantasized about in your life that you shouldn’t have? No celebrities allowed,” Pezzy read. 

“Pezzy. Next question,” I said quickly.

“Why? Do you not want to admit who you’ve fantasized about?” Puffer laughed causing the rest to start laughing as well.

“What? I answered already,” I replied confused, ”It’s y’all’s turn.”

“Wait, you’re blushing!” Grizzy pointed out as he started wheezing.

“You’re answer was Pezzy?!” Droid shouted in disbelief. Everyone was still cracking up, and Pezzy was leaning back against the couch, hiding his face behind his hands.

“Yes!” I shouted back. I leaned forward as I pointed back at Pezzy. “Have you SEEN him? He’s hot!”

“Can we not talk about this live and drunk?” Pezzy intervened.

“No! This guy thinks it's so random that I find you hot!”

“It’s because of his nose right?” Droid shouted as he pointed at Pezzy, “I fucking told you! I knew that shit was pleasing someone!”

“Okay, I’d rather not talk about my sex life on live, my guy,” I drew the line. Despite being pretty drunk, I knew that would be a slippery slope.

“Well, it looks like you’re gonna have to. What was your most recent porn search?” Droid asked. Everyone started complaining, saying they were going to take a shot.

“I will take the shot dude,” I laughed, already downing the Crown. “Wait I got a question. Do any of you dabble in the hentai?”

Immediately, the boys responded with “Yes.”

My eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets as I cringed at all of them. “Y’all are fucking gross. Do y’all feel disgusting afterward because damn that's actually nasty.”

“I have gone so far down that rabbit hole, it is not even funny,” Pezzy admitted. 

“You are really feeling those drinks, huh” Grizzy laughed. 

“Yes, I am,” Pezzy responded definitively.

“We did not need to know you that personally, Pezzy,” I laughed, taking a shot.

“Seems like you wanted to know him pretty personally,” Puffer muttered as he took a drink.

“Yes, but not that kind of personally,” I laughed. “I’m gonna head out before I destroy my career more than I already have. If someone wants to follow me,” I jokingly coughed out Pezzy’s name, “I’ll be in my room.”

“I don’t think I want to continue living in this house, knowing what you two will be doing in there,” Grizzy grimaced as he stood up and left the room. 

“Meg’s gonna pick me up. Yall can stay the night if you really need out,” Puffer offered as Droid ended the stream and started cleaning up around the living room. 

That’s when they all noticed that Pezzy was still sitting on the couch. He was not making any move to move either, so naturally, Droid, being the nosey guy he is, asked about it. “Are you really gonna let this opportunity go? They practically asked you to meet in their room.”

“We’re both drunk,” Pezzy groaned. “I’m not gonna take advantage of them like that. We’ll talk in the morning or something.”

“Are you sure you’ll even remember it in the morning?” Puffer asked as Grizzy came back with water bottles for everyone.

“The love of my life just admitted that they found me hot. I will definitely remember this in the morning,” Pezzy sighed before standing and heading to his room for the night.

The next morning, the house was eerily quiet when I walked into the kitchen. There was a note on the table, saying that Grizzy and Droid went to Puffer’s house for the night. I just shrugged to myself and moved around the kitchen. I opened a bottle of Sprite and left it open on the counter while I started making breakfast. Not anything too complex, just simple eggs.

It did not take long for Pezzy to come walking into the kitchen and sit at the island. I turned my head back to see him with his head resting against his forearms on the granite. I chuckled to myself before asking, “How do you want your eggs?”

“Scrambled, please,” He groaned as he turned his head to look at me. That’s when he noticed that his view was blocked by the Sprite bottle. “What’s with the Sprite? Isn’t it a bit early for soda?”

“Flat Sprite is the best cure for a hangover,” I replied as I mixed up and cooked the eggs. “I think I ran out of ibuprofen last time, and we could split it if you want. We’ll need to talk about last night at some point. Grizzy and Droid won’t be back until later.”

“Why don’t we go for lunch?” Pezzy offered as he took a couple of drinks of the Sprite. “We could take the bike.”

“I literally just made eggs,” I groaned holding out the pan for him to see that they were almost finished cooking. 

“Give it to the dog,” He laughed, standing up to wrap his arms around my waist as he leaned his head on my shoulder. “It’ll be my treat.”

“As long as I get to rev your bike at least once, I’m down,” I countered, leaning back into his chest. 

“You can rev it all you want,” He smirked, rubbing his face in my neck.

“Okay, you ruined it,” I laughed as I pushed away from him. “Go get ready while I give this to the dog.”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

#pezzy x reader #pezzy #pezzy x you #pezzy x y/n #big puffer #bigpuffer #elastic droid #elasticdroid #grizzy #youtuber oneshot #youtube #youtuber x reader #bad268 #ship268 #thing268

[notrebs]

haikyu boys when you fall asleep on them

characters included: kageyama, atsumu, hinata, tanaka, sakusa

(established relationship!)

kageyama tobio:

ok he’d definitely be sosososo obsessed with making sure you get a good sleep

see you play a sport (if you don’t, pretend you do cause it’s cute), and you got tired after training

he came to find you at the gymnasium cause he wanted to go for dinner together

but you were practising late

and he found your commitment and passion to your sport endearing (cause he relates ya know??)

so he decided to join you in practice

even if that sport isn’t volleyball, i’m 100% sure he would learn the rules and about the sport in general just so he can talk about it with you

so he helps you in practice

(if it’s not volleyball) it’s cute even if he sucks ass at it cause you’re laughing together

but if it is volleyball you just find it hot how good he is

anyway i digress

so y’all are panting and done with training, ready to go for a fulfilling meal

and you do! you eat your fill.

then get lazy to walk home and get a taxi to drop you at one of your places (the other stays over!)

andddd in the taxi, you yawn a few times, then rest your head on his shoulder

he puts his arm around your waist and rests his head on your head

tobio knows you’re tired cause of your training that day, so he doesn’t disturb you and let’s you rest

and a while later, the taxi arrives at the destination

he’s tired from HIS training too, so as he sees the taxi coming to the end of the last stretch of road, he sighs out in relief, “finally, we can bathe and sleep.”

only to be met with silence

he turns to you, only to see your eyelids closed, chest rising and falling steadily

a slight smile tugs at the corners of his lips

yeah, he loves you a lot

BUT there’s now a difficulty

how was he going to wake you up to get out of the taxi…

like, you’re so tired and he doesn’t wanna disturb you cause he loves you so much but like you’re kinda at your house and you kinda needa get out of the taxi??

just as he’s pondering, the driver pulls over and stops the meter, telling tobio the price of the ride

like the sweetheart he is, he pulls out his wallet and pays for y’all, with no thoughts to ask you to pay half the bill

as he hands the cash to the driver, careful not to move his shoulder too much, he glances at your restful figure

and he makes a split second decision

so, he swings both yours and his bag over one shoulder each

and then he has one arm under your knee, the other supporting your back

he then shimmies his way out of the taxi, standing up with minimal jerking of his body to make sure you don’t wake up

he opens the house door with great difficulty, but he manages

your gym bags get chucked to one side, and he forgets about the shower he was gonna have

he sits on the couch, resting your head on a pillow on his lap

the rationale for this, because i’m pretty sure he’s thought of it:

he doesn’t wanna let you sleep on the bed while in your dirty clothes, because ew??

but like he can’t shower you while you sleep because 1. that’s weird 2. you’ll wake up

so he opts for this

and it’s not too bad because he has a great view of your face that he loves so much

and you two may very well spend the night like that

when you wake up, you both stink, but you’re just touched that he slept sitting up on the couch making sure not to move his legs just so you could get a good rest

ps he secretly loves having you sleep on him i GUARANTEE it because he’s such a physical touch kinda guy hehehhahahha

miya atsumu:

alright we already know he has a shit ton of fan girls right

imagine how jealous they all are when they see you sleeping on him LOL

you’re both waiting for your respective practice to start

you’re just scrolling through your phones, enjoying each others company

it’s been a long day, classes are tiring

and who doesn’t wanna have max energy for practice?

so, you begin to doze off while sitting on miya atsumu’s solid ass thighs….

he notices you’re asleep when you don’t respond to him when he shows you a tiktok he found funny

and his fan girls who are there to watch his training just to obsess over him see you on his lap

and they freak out (out of jealousy ofc)

“miya-san, why’s she sleeping on you?” “cause she’s my girlfriend, ya pig.”

“miya-san, shouldn’t you be going to practice? why have her on your lap?” “practice ain’t for another ten minutes. and why cant i have her on my lap?”

“all of ya go away. your squealin’ and badggerin’ ‘s gonna wake my girlfriend up.”

and when he manages to shoo them away, kita comes and says that practice is gonna start soon

“few more minutes”, atsumu says

the rest of the team starts streaming in, and when it’s right on the dot starting time of practice, he goes, “i love volleyball and all, but look at her. don’t wanna wake her up.”

osamu smacks him, telling him he has to do tough things sometimes

and then comes voice of reason, captain kita

“anyway, isn’t her practice gonna start now too?”

atsumu’s eyes go wide, remembering you had a friendly match today and it’s probably time for warm ups to be in session

so there’s no easy way to do it. he shakes you awake, and in the most urgent tone he could muster in the comical moment, he tells you it’s training time

when you realise, you kiss his cheek, and scramble off his lap, sprinting to your gymnasium

osamu smacks his brother the moment he’s up off the floor

“never thought my brother would be one lovesick sucker, eh ‘tsumu?”

and his brother is right, so for once, atsumu is left without a retort

the team is laughing at him, and suna is ofc recording this moment

hinata shoyo:

OKAY picture this

it’s class time, class is boring.

you’re tired, you’re dating him, your seat mate

so you lay your head on his shoulder

the original plan wasn’t to sleep, it just happened since his shoulder wasn’t too high for your head to reach (sorry lol but #shortking)

with the droning of your teacher as white noise, it actually made for quite a decent sleeping environment

hinata soon realised you had been on his shoulder for quite a while, and when he notices your steady breathing (the kinda breathing that people only do when they’re asleep yk what i mean??), he realises you’re asleep

and instead of what some studious guys would do, he goes, “sleeping in class what a great idea”

but before he does the same, he notices a few goosebumps had appeared on your arms

so he takes his jacket off, putting it over you and tucking it over your shoulders

and then rests his head on yours, both of you dozing right off

neither of you so much as batted an eyelid when the school bell rang at the end of lessons

just two kids in adjacent seats in front of an empty worksheet that should have been filled

an end only came to that moment when it was time for practice

it was like he had a sixth sense for when it was time for practice

like he just woke up, checked the clock, realised he had to go, but panicked when he realised he didn’t want you to lose your comfortable head rest

he gently poked your head, and said, “hey, i needa go for practice. keep my jacket, but wake up and go for your practice too! i know it starts in half an hour so rest here first!”

then, he sets an alarm on your phone to make sure you wake up on time

one last kiss on the temple and he’s off

he texts you telling you you fell asleep on him in class and you can keep his jacket first and that he set the alarm for you just in case you’re too disoriented to make sense of why you’re slumped over in your chair sleeping while hugging his jacket when you wake up

he’s just very sweet to you

like he wants to make sure you can wake up on time but wants you to be comfy while you can rest…. yk

#haikyu #haikyuu #haikyu x reader #jokes #kageyama imagines #kageyama x you #kageyama x reader #kageyama scenarios #haikyu scenarios #hinata x reader #hq hinata #hq atsumu #hq headcanons #headcanons #kageyama headcanons #hinata headcanons #kageyama tobio x reader #kageyama tobio #miya atsumu #miya x reader #miya atsumu x you #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu imagines #atsumu x reader #atsumu scenarios #hq scenarios #fluff #hq fluff #kageyama fluff #atsumu fluff

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Feeding Alligators 51 - I Lived Bitch

You wake up.

On AO3.

People’re hollering. It’s all gibberish. You feel well-rested for the first time in a long, long while. Are half-tempted to turn over so you can go back to sleep, except two things: there’s something in your arms that smells like vasoline and farts, and the chatter around you is real loud. Right until it hushes.

A woman says something. She’s got nice perfume. Don’t stink of chemical or sickly sweet. Her voice rings like a bell, though her words don’t make no sense.

It’s a stuffed animal that you got in your arms. That’s what smells. You cuddle into it and sigh…

Why is it sticky? What the hell—

Open your eyes. Spot a pair of boots with real nice embroidery along the seams. Track it up to a purple mumu and—

“Gale!” you say.

The man smiles down at you, all but sagging. And then Shadowheart fills your vision, leaning over you, her jesus hands over your chest.

Shadowheart. And Karlach and Wyll watching. You got Karlach’s bear. And apparently the little procedure made the dirt potion stop working, the fucker.

“You got any…?” you say and mime tilting a bottle.

“Yes,” Gale says.

You start to sit up as he reaches into his bag, and then you pause. Stare at him as he produces the blue bottle.

He holds his innocent expression for a good five seconds before cracking. “Aang-lish. Ta-ok.” And he mimes writing.

You blink a couple of times, trying to make sense. Cause it sounds like the man is saying he’s trying to learn English (from your chats). But that is monstrously complicated and y’all are super busy and…and you’re you. Ain’t no reason for somebody to take on that kinda task on your account.

You point to him. Tap your temple, and then your mouth. “You talk? English?”

“Ye-ah,” he says again.

Oh god, he’s learning English with your accent.

You are simultaneously amused, horrified, and then indignant at the horrified part. Ain’t nobody complains when a non-English speaker picks up a Western accent. Fuck all them classicist fuckwads.

You down the potion so you can say, “Why?”

“Ah! Well, a multitude of reasons,” he says and lifts that pointer finger and that man is the dictionary definition of a lecturer. “I reckoned it might do to have a backup plan should we run out of ingredients again. And as I’ve always said, a good education—”

“She seems fine,” Shadowheart cuts in. Gives you a tiny smile and then stands. “Take it easy the rest of the night. I’m not sure how this process goes, exactly. But I’d say if you start to feel strange, at all, let one of us know.”

“Yes’m,” you say.

She gives you a nod and leaves you be.

“How d’you feel, soldier?” Karlach says.

Physically, great. A little dizzy, maybe. And tired, now that you think about it. You want to find a blanket, burrito yourself next to the fire, and sit there until everybody goes to sleep.

So that’s what you tell her. She nods along, then jerks her thumb over her shoulder. “Sounds like you and Wyll’ll be spending some time together, then.”

That…don’t make no sense. Why would Wyll…?

The spectator. Him lying in a pool of his own blood.

“Oh fuck, Wyll, how’re you doing?”

Karlach moves so you can see him leaning against a bedroll. He gives you a wave. “Nice to see you among the living again.”

…what?

And then something moves in the shadows and your skin shudders like a pissed off cat as the fucking mummy emerges.

He regards you with his shriveled, raisin eyes. Then, “Thou soul is tied to this place. Thy destiny shall play along as it must.”

And then he turns and just, you know, leaves. Like that was a totally normal interaction and he wasn’t the creepiest thing to ever exist spouting some of the most cryptic shit to ever exist.

“I don’t like him,” you say.

“Yeah,” Karlach drawls, watching him shuffle over to the perimeter of camp. “I’ve seen people get turned inside out—literally, and it’s the hells so they don’t die, you know? But there’s something really off about that one.” Then she looks behind you, to the sound of Gale lowering himself, and something flashes across her face before she slaps another smile over it. “Guess I’ll leave you to it. You did good, soldier. Knew you were a tough one.”

She goes back over to Wyll and settles down about three feet from him—the closest she can safely get. Leaving you and Gale, alone.

Gale clears his throat. Waits for you to look back to him. Folds his legs beneath him and both his knees crack. “I can certainly understand your level of apprehension around him. But we should probably discuss what he said. Or didn’t, I suppose.”

Well fuck.

“What, the shit about fate?” you say, because if you make a joke about and throw in profanity, it can’t be all that serious, right?

But Gale don’t smile back. Nor does he join in on the joking. He looks serious in a way that makes your conjured joviality wither in on itself.

He holds up something. The evil bottle. Motions for you to take it. The soul jar. Right. But like, it’s a physical object? For some reason, you didn’t think it would be. Like, they would do all their woo woo shit and it’d disintegrate into the ether or some shit and you’d wake up all better.

The metal is smooth in your hands. You expect warmth or an electric tingle. Maybe a creepy heartbeat or something. Souls are, apparently, real, and they’ve (said they’ve) trapped yours inside that thing like a genie in a lamp. There should be some mystical shit, right?

Only it’s just a metal bottle. Smooth and cool, and about as heavy as it looks.

“Are you sure it worked?” you say. Cause it feels just like holding an empty bottle.

“It did, eventually.” He catches your look. “There were some…complications. It caused no damage, both Withers and Shadowheart assured me!. All of your soul is within that flask, and we’ll continue to monitor it, but you appear to be perfectly stabilized.”

Huh. “Complications” can mean so many things.

“But?” you say.

Gale makes a “easy there, Bessy” hand gesture. “But you, ah, died in the process. Again. You are perfectly alright now! Withers was able to keep both parts of you here long enough for the spell to work. But you, well. I’m no necromancer or soulworker, but your soul went elsewhere for a time before we could draw it fully into this realm.”

That…is horrifying. Where the fuck does a soul just wander off to? Like it fucked off to some interdimensional 711, stole a car, and drove three hundred miles out to fucking space-Idaho?

“Do you remember anything?” Gale says. And there’s that gleam in his eye, the one he gets when you brought up your speculations of the religious aspects of them animal stones in that ancient city in Turkey. Dude hungers for knowledge the way Astar—the way a vampire hungers for blood.

But the last thing you remember is settling down with Karlach’s bear.

“No,” you say. Though the thought niggles something in the back of your mind.

Corn?

Whatever.

“I see. Well, it does please me to say that you seem to be present and accounted for. No need for those potions—I gathered from your facial expressions that they didn’t taste terribly fantastic. However. That flask must stay on your person at all times. Or near enough to it.”

“Oh god, is this a proximity thing?”

What’s a reverse electric fence? If you forget the damn thing in you tent and go to the river to bathe, is it gonna tase you?

A twitch of a frown at the word “proximity.” His lips silently move over the shape of it. Then, “Not in the sense I suspect you think of. If I were to snatch it and use a waypoint to travel to the other side of Faerun, it would do you no harm. But I would be holding your soul in my hands, and that…”

And…that sounds bad. Catastrophic, even.

“You said soulworker and necromancer before,” you say, a different kind of dread oozing up your spine to claw at the muscles at the base of your skull. “Someone could, like, use this against me, huh?”

He nods. “Indeed. At the very least, one could hold it for ransom. At the worst, there are ways of chaining a soul to a person or an object. Or even, well. Even bartering one to the hells.”

If somebody gets their sticky fucking fingers on that flask they can literally sell you to a demon? Oh what the actual fuck.

“Kinda hate this place,” you say.

Gale winces. Sympathetically.

“So keep the damn thing safe,” you say.

“Yes. I cannot stress that enough.”

Part of you thinks it really would have been easier to just die.

Except…there’s something in you. A little glow against that darkness. Though the exhaustion and the dread pull you down like your guts are made of concrete, that tiny ember glows on.

Fuck. Fuck.

“I…thank you, Gale,” you say. “Thank you for all a this. I’ll do my best not to let y’all down.”

He claps your arm (you try not to flinch at the touch). “You’re doing far better on that account than I suspect you give yourself credit for. Now, I’m going to whip up something light but filling, and I suggest you eat your fill and get some rest, hmm?”

You nod. Food does sound really good.

The others mingle or tend their gear. You lie there and half listen to Wyll and Karlach talking. Things haven’t gotten better so much as simply…changed form. Same problem, new and exciting ways for it all to go wrong.

The exhaustion drags at you. Gale is right. Food and rest will be good. This shit will land and settle as it will, and you’ll have to pick a path through it.

Which is when something pale moves in the dark. A set of glowing eyes leer out of the shadows.

“Well hello, darling,” Astarion says.

#feeding alligators fic #these two shitheads #astarion fanfic #astarion #astarion x tav #tavstarion #isekai #slow burn #plus size tav #demisexual tav

[just-a-tiny-goldfish]

I need more petty drama in fanfiction okay?

I wanna read about how you and deku have a freaking argument that ends in you being like “FINE” and walking out that door and he’s equally pissed off so (even though he’s in his own freaking house💀) he walks right out that door after you too and does his little jumpy jump into the freaking sky messing up your freaking hair 🤬 making you even more pissed off than you already where(and he def did that on purpose too)- after walking around a while you’ve calmed down but your petty af so there’s no way your gunna go back to dekus place no way 🙄 who cares that his home is way more lavish then yours! f him 👊🏽 So once you’ve finally settled yourself in for the night in your OWN home-KNOCK KNOCK who’s that at your balcony ( cause god forbid he knows how a door works) it’s freaking Deku😤 like bro we don’t wanna see you!!! So what we do? Look him straight in the eyes and close them curtains-can’t see him cant see the problem😌 problem solved right? Except when you get up in the morning to go open up them curtains who’s there? Deku. Man did not leave at all after you shut them curtains and now he’s leaning against those glass doors drool all over them dead asleep 💀 and okay-okay it’s not been a horribly cold night but you can see the morning dew in his hair making his curls tighten up just a little and maybe a few bruises from a villain fight he had the day before and he deff looks like he needs a shower and no way his neck is okay sleeping at that angl-OkAY! Okay, you feel guilty. BUT you got pride so there’s no way you’re gunna act TOO guilty so you open up that sliding door and he just flops in and the first thing out if you mouth is “Take a shower you stink”- LOOK I just know no matter the argument he Will probs try to apologize completely for both of you so at some point in his blubbering you’re gunna have to be like “ yeah I fucked up too…sorry🙄🫥” and he’s like “🥺 yeah I know 🙄🫶🏽” shut up b

I want bakugou to snap at you meaner then he intended and haha no sir you can’t snap at ME like that but you’re the ‘bigger’ person here so you understand and are going to give him a chance to make up 👏🏽 except, this is bakugou. And the reason he probs snapped at you was because he was already riled up so you being the ‘bigger’ person rn is not working-you’re there like “where’s my apology” arms crossed and all that good shit, and he’s like I said what I said 👹 and fine he wants to play petty you can also play petty. Your silent treatment begins. You turn around and walk right out of that room- and you know what? I dont think he would ‘care’( he deff would he’s in his feels). I think y’all’s argument could actually go on for tops 3 days (y’all can hold out 😮‍💨) but I think throughout this silent treatment your doing he’s not really acting like your doing it? Make sense? Like he will talk at you and stuff (honestly aggravating you more- just fueling the fire) but he’s not saying very sweet things cause he’s trying to get a reaction I think eventually he’s gunna say something a litte too mean and really hurt your feelings ( he just wants a reaction he dosnt mean it 🥺) and maybe you start to tear up and ‘oh no’ shit. Cause he was expecting you to snap at him not cry and now he feels like shit. And your like fuck this and turn to walk out and just-“Sorry” and there It is. He’s finally apologizing but at what cost? 👏🏽🙄 at that point your upset not angry you just kinda let the tears keep falling cause, c’mon? It’s been a few stressful days. (This literally could have been fixed in less then 30 min smh) and your just sobbing at that point and he’s coming up behind you hugging you and just apologizing over and over and being all like ‘I didn’t mean it’ cause Jesus did he fuck up. And your all like ‘you were so mean 🥺😞’ and yeah his hearts breaking, cause, yes, he can be mean and he knows this, let’s just say he’s deff not gunna be forgetting this anytime soon you might have accepted his apology but that didn’t make him feel any less guilty. He probs thought you were going to leave him for good😬

#I COULD GO ON FOR DEKU I HAD TO PUT A STOP SOMWHERE #I wanna do one for todo too I think he would b a easily jelly bf #bakugou hits me in the soft spot sometimes #deku x reader #izuku x reader #bakugou x reader

[height-in-uppercase]

𝘝𝘈𝘕𝘊𝘌 𝘏𝘖𝘗𝘗𝘌𝘙 𝘏𝘌𝘈𝘋𝘊𝘈𝘕𝘖𝘕𝘚

1. Upbringing/How He Was Raised

* He is a mama’s boy. Though both of his parents are present, he gets along more with his mom.

* He has three big dogs. A German Shepard (Leo), a Great Dane (Hades), and a Saint Bernard (Luke).

* Growing up, he was always told plenty of affirmations from his mom and dad that, no matter what, they love him & they’ll be there for him.

* They also told him that if anyone makes fun of his height then knock tf outta them (little did they know-)

* They have a rage room specifically built for, well…rage moments (and this isn’t exclusive for Vance, it’s for everyone😊)

* They have family dinners on the couch instead of the table.

* He hates summer (cause hair)

* He hates spring (cause allergies)

* He likes winter (cause Christmas vacations)

* That choker that he has? Christmas present from a fav relative (I personally say fav older cousin).

* When Vance started doing not-so-great in school, people started talking about it to his folks.

* And then when he would get into fights, people started talking about the whole family (I could go so much darker with this).

* Vance started to distance himself from his parents; not to the point where they don’t know where he is but to the point where Vance would look at them and nod.

2. His Academic Performance

* He’s more of a left brain than a right. He’s a huge nerd for shit that involves mechanics and engineering

* If you were to ask him what’s his favorite class, he would be smart and say ��dismissal”🙄. But it’s genuinely P.E, and if you don’t count that as a class than he would say Science

* He’s caused accidents in the science labs.

* He used to be a “B” student. But then school became more difficult and his grades started dropping.

* The teachers noticed, some of them didn’t care. And very few tried to help him out.

* He has communication issues when it comes to “needing help”.

* Because of this, many teachers started giving up on him.

* He failed school, which made him feel like he’s a failure. And that, was the match that lit the fuse.

* When he got held back, he started loosing friends to where people would give him the stink eye and whisper about (obviously) him.

* One time someone tried to cut his hair

* Got to a point where he just said “screw school”, and stopped showing up (CUE PINBALL ADDICTION)

* Btw that boy that was next to Vance, yeah they’re not friends. Just regulars of Grab-n-Go. I personally feel like his name would be Langston.

* He would stay in the family rage room.

* His mom and dad would cry. Not in front of him though, because they didn’t want him to think that they didn’t love him anymore.

3. When He Was Kidnapped

* My theory: Vance got arrested one day. On the way to the station, a crash happens between the gr*bber’s van & the cop car which killed the two cops & knocked out Vance.

* When he first woke up, Vance was red hot.

* When he first saw The Gr*bber, he tried to fight him. The Gr*bber let it happen because he knew that boy was weak from the crash.

* He laughed when Vance hit his head on the door.

* Back at home his parents are hysterical.

* His dad actually frames the detectives saying that they “let this happen”

* His mom is throwing up in the bathroom toilet.

* When the detectives mention of Vance’s…”issues”, his mom tries to reason with them (cue TikTok that y’all blew tf up thank yew(and btw, I’m not sorry)🥹🙏).

* When the detectives asked if Vance had any friends, it broke his mom’s heart to say that he didn’t.

* When providing the background info, Sheryl (that’s her name don’t argue with me) could only think one thing.

* “Do you have his choker?” “What?” “His choker, his choker that he was given to on Christmas, his choker that he always wore! His choker that was green and had a-a-a-a little…thing, in the middle of it- oh what was that thing?!”

* Yeah..she went into a panic attack.

* When the Detective Wright tried to comfort and soothe her, she smacked him (and left a scratch mark).

* The dogs went into full on attack mode

* Meanwhile back at the basement, Vance is in and out from recovery.

* He’s crying a lot. Like, angry crying. BECAUSE WTF!!!

* He’s definitely tried the phone. And when The Gr*bber told him it doesn’t work, Vance said “it works fine as a weapon”.

* He was left alone after that.

* As the days went on, Vance’s mom went into a state of denial.

* She would have presents ready for him on Christmas and his birthday saying that he “went to go play is game” and that he’ll “be back soon”.

* She would even stay up late because “it’s a school night, he won’t be out long.”

* With Vance, he wouldn’t sleep. He was so filled with rage that he was full on psychotic and violent.

* On one of the days that the gr*bber picked up his food tray, Vance threw the plate at his face and tried to use the bottle as a shank.

* The Gr*bber closed the door and beat him bad for being a “naughty boy”(🤢🤮).

* After that beating Vance fell asleep, but The Gr*bber wasn’t done yet.

* As a way to “get on his good side”, the gr*bber would compliment Vance’s hair and eyes saying that they’re beautiful.

* The damage that Vance was talking about? Here’s what he did:

* Broke the window (not shatter, just broke)

* Caused a hole in the wall (given).

* Broke the toilet (as in took the lid and smashed it).

* Tore the mattress up with a hidden glass bottle shard.

* And ofc that was the last thing he ever did.

4. When He Died

* His.Mom.Lost.It

* Fvck the rage room, she tore up the whole house.

* She would take some of his baby photos and hold them close and sing them lullabies.

* She would sleep in his room.

* The dogs would wait by his door still

* One day, they got a random package on their doorstep.

* Vance’s dad brought it in and opened it to find Vance’s choker inside, all dirty and bloodied up.

* Cue scream of bloody murder (no pun intended) from the mother.

* The neighbors heard and when they went to see what was wrong, all they could do was stand still as they witnessed a grieving mother.

* When Vance’s body was recovered, one of the detectives updated Mr. & Mrs.Hopper.

* She went to the morgue and the first thing she did was hug him.

* She put the choker back around his neck and gave strict instructions to the person to “make sure he doesn’t loose it”.

* A miserably small funeral was held for Vance in the winter, near the time that they would have their family Christmas vacation.

#vance hopper #vance the black phone #vance hopper headcanons #the black phone

[mino-diabolik]

DARK FATE — Mystic 「Dark 01」

[Dark Prologue]

[Location: Grand Hall — Tsukinami Mansion]

—Clink, clink—

Mystic: (I hate having dinner in this house…)

Kazuha: … …

Mystic: (And the looks I’m getting are of no help.)

—Bam!—

??? 4: Ahh, for fuck’s sake! I’ve been beatin’ my ass the whole day and ain’t nobody think of gettin’ me to grab a bite of somethin’?!

DJ: But Madam Elle… I did go to your lab and called you to dinner. You even responded that you would be right over.

Elle: Eh? You did? No way.

DJ: I did, madam.

Elle: Ugh, well, whatever. I only came out to fish out something to eat and tell y’all what I found.

Carla.

Carla: What is it?

Elle: That girl’s def not gon’ be of any use to us in that state. Even if you try to yank her heart right out of her chest this instant, it’s already been tainted. Her blood is nasty and her body is absolutely covered in bite marks.

Shin: You tasted it?

Elle: I just pinched her thumb. Poor girl didn’t even complain. She just sat there, like she was paralyzed.

Carla: The poison has gone so far into her heart…

I see.

Elle: Seems like it’ll be a whole pain in the ass if you want to retrieve that heart as a keepsake.

Mystic: What? What do you mean?

Carla: … …

Elle: Means somebody’s gotta pick up the duty of cleansing her blood.

Ain’t no fuckin’ way I’mma go near it. Bitch tasted like shit.

DJ can’t possibly do the job without fangs, neither Carla or Shin are gonna do it—

Shin: I didn’t say anything!

Elle: Oh? You’re volunteering, then?

Shin: Well——

Mystic: I can do it!

Kazuha: …You?

After everything you caused, do you really believe you can be trusted with something so vital?

Shin: Gotta give it to her.

Elle: Yup.

Carla: … …

DJ: … …

Mystic: C’mon now!

I’ve known Yui for a long time. I’m sure she’d be less keen to fight me off than anyone else in this table, and that’d be of help if you want to get the process done faster. Besides, I’m not affected by a Vampire’s scent. The current state of her blood won’t be an issue for me!

Kazuha: It is exactly because you are acquainted with her that I am less inclined to consider you for the task.

Mystic: (Huff… they’re all so stubborn. How am I supposed to plead my case when everyone is against me?!)

DJ: …Perhaps we should give him a chance.

Kazuha: …?

DJ: It is true he is yet to understand the costumes of the Tsukinami family, but how can you expect him to better himself if you don’t even allow him to learn?

I’d argue that taking care of a mortal and cleansing her blood is a task simple enough. Yes, they might be acquainted, but that does not mean much.

Carla: That does not mean we can trust him to forget personal feelings for——

DJ: Pardon me, Master Carla. But how many times have you been witness to friendships being voided for the sake of business?

Shin: D——

Carla: … …

Elle: Fuck me, what a woman. Are you sure you wanna stay married to a boring sack of testosterone like Shin?

Fufufu. Though, as outta pocket as that was, she’s right, you know? We wouldn’t be in this predicament if that weren’t the case.

Mystic: (Don’t just be mocking them while munching on berries, Elle! It’ll be a miracle if Carla doesn’t batter my mother dead on the spot!)

Carla: …I see.

—Bam! Clatter!—

Kazuha: You, insolent——!

Carla: Leave it, Kazuha.

Kazuha: … …

Mystic: …?

Carla: If you have so much faith in him, then the very least I can do is hope a son of my brother will not be the reason this family falls from grace.

Shin: … …

DJ: Will you agree to it?

Carla: …I suppose there is not much we can lose from a trial period.

Mystic: (——Hallelujah!)

Elle: …?! Coff, coff!

Kazuha: Are… are you truly alright with that, father?

Carla: Do you have any complaints?

Kazuha: …No, sir.

Mystic: (Bullshit! You look like you’re about to pop a vessel!)

Elle: Welp, that settles it.

Mystic.

Mystic: Ye—yeah…!

Elle: Let’s head down so you can pick up your darling snack.

Mystic: Down?

Elle: I tossed the girl down into one ’f the cells down below, ‘f course. Wasn’t ‘bout to let her stink up my lab!

Mystic: (She’s with Ruki and the others… that’s good.)

Carla: Mystic.

Mystic: …Ye—yes, my lord?

Carla: I hope there will be no repeat of your errors this time.

Mystic: Yes, sir…

「 Dark 01 — End 」

[Dark 02]

#diabolikloversoc #mystic tsukinami #dark date mystic tsukinami route #dark fate mystic dark 1 #dark fate dark 1

[sadgrlsclbb]

So this dude…*sigh*

So he invited me to go to a concert…he paid.

But the problem is, he was like his friends are going and so is his ex…

BUT, I asked who was all going to make sure. Bc at 1st he was saying just me him and his ex…which I don’t like

So I asked. And he was like his other friends are going bc he asked her and she said she don’t wanna feel like a 3rd wheel…WHY IS SHE GOING IN THE 1ST PLACE?????

And I’m a ppl pleaser…unfortunately. And I’m nice. So I was just like oh ok.

But I DID say to him idk how to feel abt it, and he asked me to elaborate.

And I was like, well I’m gonna be acting the same way to you there, the day way I’m acting to you here. And I don’t want her to be weird abt it. Like, cutting her eyes at me and giving me the stink face n shit…cause I don’t do well w shit like that😒

And what I meant when I said that was, IMMA SAY SOMETHING AND RUIN THE DAY FOR EVERYBODYYYYYYY, if I feel like shit is weird…and my intuition never fails me.

And I also said to him that the way he talks abt her seems like he still might feel a type of way abt her and if they still do, like do him…but imma have to think abt if imma go bc…I DONT KNOW ANYYYYY OF THESE PPL BESIDES HIM. And I have anxiety and I don’t do well w or in crowds.

WHY HE SAID WE’RE BOTH GONNA HAVE TO GET OVER IT…😬

Bby you must not know me well enough. I’m too good to be fighting over anyone…and a man at that…hell nahhhh. Nobody will ever be that special to me, for me to have to fight over them.

It’s either you want me or you don’t. Simple🤷🏾‍♀️

You’ll never catch me trying to persuade, convince, or beg ANYONE to let me have them.

He also said that when they get together they somehow get close to each other…

Like pls don’t make me have to get out of character bc you don’t know where y’all lay rn.

WE ALL SINGLE. So it IS up in the aim and anybody’s game…BUT, who’s pussy was he just eating?? Who was he just baking brownies w??? WHOOOO JUST SPENT 2 NIGHTS CUDDLED UP IN BED W HIM???

Not only that, I e given him head 4 times and he came EVERY TIMEEEEEE. While also telling me that out of all the ppl he’s been w, none of them could make him cum w just head…just saying🤷🏾‍♀️

AND WHY WOULD YOI WANNA BE W SOMEONE WHO CANT EVEN MAKE YOU CUM???? …be having him cumming from throat annddddddd pussy

Anyways…yall…pray and root for me

(He also was like, “don’t write abt me on tumblr” after I showed him that I was pissed that his ex was coming…welp🤷🏾‍♀️)

#k rantss

[jeromefart]

heres part of an interview i transcribed it is very heartwarming for me so i wanted to dump it on here (i=interviewer, t=tyler) (edited a bit for clarity)

I: Was it awkward when Earl came back? Like, the interaction- like, to get back to the rhythm of like- your friend’s back and…

T: Dude. The first time me and Taco saw Thebe. We call him Thebe by the way. We don’t call- I’m just calling him Earl cause you motherfuckers are here.

I: That’s how you know him.

T: The first time me and uh Travis- Travis is Taco by the way. I don’t call him Taco, I was just saying that so y’all could know who I’m talking about, but. The first time me and Travis saw Thebe when we came back, we was at Clancy’s house. And he walked in and it was like… We looked like three year old little girls just jumping around and just hugging. And then after that I backed up and realized he was in the same sweater he had on when he left.

I: Did he stink? He didn’t stink.

T: No, it was just dusty as shit. And then 2 minutes after that, we were on YouTube looking at stupid videos like we used to. Like, fucking, just stupid shit. And it was sick just to see him again. Like, he got taller, I got tall- Like, it was like 2 years! So it was just sick. And I know it was kinda weird for him cause like… Like, he was locked away or whatever, and he comes back and his friends are fucking rich and famous and can’t even go to fuckin’… The movies anymore without security and shit. And I know he was like, “What the fuck,” but… Everything’s perfect now. It’s sick. I’m actually stoked that happened because it just came full circle. So I guess that was just fate.

#‘i guess that was just fate’ crying rn #their friendship is everything to ME. #too bad they havent collabed since rusty #well earl was at camp flog gnaw in 2019 so there is hope. maybe theyre cookimg up some shit in the studio as we SPEAK

[hotdamnhunnam]

Jax + 👀⏰🚭

Thanks for your request for my Emoji Fic Fest! 💗

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Up in Smoke

Pairing: Jax Teller x F!Reader Warnings: smut, swearing, overused tropes y’all have already read (friends to lovers + only 1 bed) Word Count: ~1.3k Emoji Prompt: 👀⏰🚭 (key words are in bold)

“What?”

You glare at him and keep your mouth shut. How the fuck dare he ask what.

He went and said it as if he has any right to look so hot when he’s supposed to look like shit. Just sitting there. Sleep-deprived stare, messy ass hair. Ratty old shirt stinking of sweat and dirt and he just doesn’t care. Jax Fucking Teller never looks like shit, not even just a little bit.

Last night he got stuck in a fight and needed somewhere quiet he could crash and hide. As his best friend you somehow got caught in the middle of it. Now you and Jax are cooped up here in this motel out on the roadside. Some unspoken tension rears its ugly head between you two and you’ve no clue how to get rid of it.

Actually you do—you have more than just a clue—you know you need this stupid sexy piece of shit to fucking fuck you.

“How’d you sleep,” you ask without lifting your voice into a question. Your own sleep wasn’t that deep. You’d tossed and turned in every possible direction. On a mattress that felt like the pit of hell—expected nothing less from this motel, given the room was so dirt cheap.

He gives you that signature you’re-a-stupid-whore look which between friends is endearing. Friends or not, coming from him it’s fucking hot. A whole damn kink. “How do you think.”

You cross your arms and scowl. He chose to sleep on a scrappy old towel. “Christ, don’t be a dick about it. I told you to take the blanket but you said you’d be fine on the floor without it.”

Jax ignores that and just pulls a cigarette out. Sticks it in the sweet pink pucker of his mouth. You want to be that cigarette right now. You wish he’d read your mind somehow. Why can’t this big blonde idiot figure it out…?

He takes a puff and looks so hot you might start choking. You can’t handle that today. “Put that away. This room’s non-smoking.”

Snickers at you as his broad shoulders lift up in a slight shrug. “Do I look like I give a fuck?”

You start to fume, the smell of smoke and your own slutty desperation swirling all around the room. “You’re gonna set off the alarm—”

Reach down to yank the cigarette out of his mouth but then he swiftly grabs your arm. That ice-blue fire in his eyes that could do you serious harm. The way you wish he would—he’d rough you up so fucking good… he’s more the fire-breathing dragon than Prince Charming but to you the beast has all the fucking charm.

Last night he’d been a gentleman and had insisted that you take the bed. Today you’re mad ‘cause you had been desperate for him to share the bed with you instead.

He doesn’t know that yet. But he could sense it from the second that you grabbed his cigarette. Jax doesn’t want your lifelong friendship to go up in smoke but he’s been itching to get in your pants for years and if you’re standing here and handing him a ticket… maybe if the sex is epic then it’s worth getting his dick wet. Epic sex is one thing Jax Fucking Teller never regrets.

***************

“Bitch, all you had to do was ask.”

He’s such an ass. That shit is so typical Jax.

He growls it fierce, ridge of his teeth grazing the soft lobe of your ear—thick fingers slide across your slick sensitive clit, seeking the tight heat of your slit—then fucking pierce—he can’t believe he has you here and holy shit—it’s stark how different you appear. He tells himself it’s just a fuck, but no such luck, as something sparks and runs him over like a truck.

Jax Teller never feared the dark but just the light: something that felt too fucking bright. Done so much wrong he has no right. Having you near—this was exactly what he’d feared. Had tried to fight. He’d won last night. He’s losing it with you right here.

The lines between friendship and whatever this is should’ve stayed clear. For fucking years, that was the path he’d tried to steer. Stroking his dick alone in bed, or drowning in another chick he had just met—picturing you instead—that was the closest he could get.

Until you grabbed that motherfucking cigarette.

It’s barely been a minute yet, and you’re already dripping wet. It hits him now that’s how you’ve always been for him. It hits him now that you adore him. That you’d do anything for him.

Hits him in the way you hold him like you’re on the verge of death—the way you lick into the heaven of his kiss with your sweet tongue, fucking explore him—suck the smoke out of his lungs, white hot and seething. You’re the fire that the beast in him is breathing. He’s your first and last and only fucking breath.

You’re set to shatter into pieces on his knuckles, and he wants to fucking cry at just how beautiful you are, but that’s the shit that would cut deep enough to scar, and so instead he fucking chuckles.

Makes you weak; you’d scream at him if you had words to even speak. Just leave it to this piece of shit to fucking lighten it. He drags his fingers from your soaking cunt right in the instant just before you hit your peak, and you can’t keep him in no matter how you tighten it.

Here you had thought you both felt something that meant everything, but suddenly you worry that your inner slut got carried off imagining. Suddenly you think of course that’s not what’s happening. You’re just spread out beneath your best friend on the crap mattress of some seedy motel, and there’s no fucking way the fallout from this session will go over well. No way you can go back to what you were, after this ravaging. No way you can go further and become more in the future, which is what your stupid little heart desires more than anything. No way in hell. No way in fucking hell.

You’re slipping fast and he can tell. Tripping somewhere inside yourself. He’d run away from all the weight of that—or fuck through all the issues, if it’s not too late for that—that’s what he’d do, if you were anybody else.

You’re not.

You’re you and that’s what scares him. Like, a lot. He’s never felt something that tears him, but he’s shocked to find the pain and fear of feeling more than he can even bear just makes him harder, pushes him to take this farther. God, it’s super fucking hot.

The doubt and heartbreak radiating from you twist him up in knots. Jax had no clue, just what that little laugh off of his wicked lips would do. He did it to protect himself but didn’t think it would screw you. He sees it’s true, your pretty face painting the picture of your thoughts. Inches from pushing him away but pull him close instead ‘cause whether friend or lover, you’ll still love him like no other. Cling to him with all you’ve got.

He knows you better than he has any damn right to. He’s in you before he ever drives inside you. Always has been. This was real before it happened.

Holds you as you’re gasping—big strong hand soft on your face, the other keeps your hips in place, forehead against yours as he looks at you with eyes the blue of hope and then becomes the rope you’re grasping.

All the lines of who you were—the blindness of before—didn’t just blur. They fucking broke. You take him deep into your core, and let him wreck until it hurts, beg without words, for him to fuck you like a whore and so much more, and breathe him in so deep you choke.

There’s light on both ends of this cigarette, and no regret, as everything goes up in smoke.

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Emoji Fic Masterlist

Emoji Fic Tag List – below; if you’d like to be added or removed, just let me know!

@happyhunnams @band--psycho @est11 @edonaspanca @starbooty @innerpaperexpertcloud @i-love-scott-mccall @six-camelot @alexa-rae-dreamz @coffeebooksandfandom @thesuicidalflower @flaireandsynch @helloheyhihowdyheya @gemini0410 @waywardodysseys @zozebo @bettergetusetoit @emilykjh @little-diable @rocketqueen @mrspeacem1nusone @miss-smutty @rayslittlekitten @abby-splace @chubbychubbs28 @miraclesoflove @tegggeeee @hunnambabe @missusnora @kesskirata @vixenrebellion @thexhostess @pomegranatearildreams @kandii395 @severewobblerlightdragon @itspdameronthings @niki-xie @cind-in-real-life @saweetspoiled @poge-life @few-proud-emotonal @samanthaisnthome @melodranas @soaharleys @charlie-hunnams-old-lady @simpmasterjr @nataliewalker93 @lovebarefootblonde @marvelousmermaid @tsukuyomi011 @sciapod @midnight-dreams-23

#jax teller #sons of anarchy #soa #charlie hunnam #jax teller smut #sons of anarchy smut #soa smut #charlie hunnam smut #jax teller imagine #sons of anarchy imagine #soa imagine #charlie hunnam imagine #jax teller fanfiction #sons of anarchy fanfiction #soa fanfiction #charlie hunnam fanfiction #jax teller x reader #jax teller x you #charlie hunnam x reader #charlie hunnam x you #emoji fics

[hanji-is-life]

literally been on my mind all day but I’ve just been thinking about Best Friend Bakugou!

It’s just. So many tales I could recount about being best friends with the gremlin. I don’t even know where to start.

this got really long omg

He really didn’t think he’d get along with you as well as he does now. When you guys first met, you definitely piqued his interests because of your no-shit attitude when it came to him and him only. You weren’t afraid to call him out on his bullshit or put him in his place or get into screaming matches with him. Before you knew it, y’all were the true Pretty Best Friends™️

On days where you don’t feel like doing your own hair, if you complain enough, he’s doing it for you. He’ll sit you between his legs, grab whatever product he needs, and baby boy goes to WORK. If you have braids you need to take out, you somehow trust him enough with the scissors. Protective style, he’s looking up how and can perfect that shit in under three hours. If you have locs, he’s retwisting your roots. Your edges are laid to the gods. This boys hands are blessed.

Someone said it before, but he’s definitely the type to have cursed pictures of you. If you fall asleep on FaceTime with your bonnet halfway off of your head, glasses skewed, mouth dropped open with drool, anything. He’s got a picture of it. Makes it his Home Screen to be an ass and refuses to change it. He smiles to himself every time he sees it though, cause you look so adorable and gross.

He always has to touch you. Like, always. Head on your shoulder, laying on your lap, feet on your arms (why? who the hell knows). His favorite position is when you’re laying on the floor of your living room playing with your switch on your stomach. It’s the perfect opportunity for him to nuzzle his head in between your cheeks.

Flicks his boogers on you and gets mad when you get mad. Also throws his dirty socks in your face and, again, gets mad when you get mad.

Definitely likes to match and color coordinate with you. You guys always show up to functions with something matching—from your shoes to his hoodies, your shirt to his socks, your earrings to his necklace. Most of the time it’s his idea, by harsh suggestions. “You’re gonna wear that? No, that looks fucking dumb. Wear this instead.” This always matches whatever he has on, not so coincidentally.

Always does petty, childish shit to annoy you. Will most definitely give you wet willies when you’re trying to watch a tv show. Will also pin you and force you to smell his pits every time you tell him to shut up. Will also definitely wipe his sweat from his face onto yours when you say he stinks. “Now we both stink, dumbass.”

Calls your ass flat when it looks really good, just to fuck with you. Also slaps your boob because the jiggle is funny to him.

Will do Tik Toks with you, but complains the whole time. You have to promise him a shitload of things to do his makeup and record it. You promise him it won’t go viral since you don’t get that many views anyway. It goes viral. You have to hide in your closet to keep him from throttling you because now his whole agency keeps complimenting him on how red lipsticks and thick lashes look good on him.

Don’t even think about trying to get a boyfriend. You kinda don’t want anyone since you have the tiniest humongous crush on your best friend. But don’t worry! Bakugou is cock blocking anyway :)

Thursday nights are Best Friend Nights. You two order something or he cooks, rent a movie, play games and spend the night over each other’s houses. It usually results in long conversations and talks and almost-confessions before you guys always lose your nerve.

You definitely have matching bonnets and scarves, but he refuses to wear the orange silk durag you got him :(

Everyone thinks you two are in a relationship and have plenty of evidence that backs them up. Like that one time the BakuSquad surprised him at his house, and caught the two of you coming out of the shower together. Why? Because best friends wash each other’s backs! Or the other time you two had a spa day, and he was painting your nails and giving you a massage and you were both naked because best friends are that comfortable together! Or the fact that he’s the only one who he shares his food with and doesn’t mind eating after you, even if it’s directly from your fork. Or that you give him good luck kisses on his cheek and jaw whenever he’s about to do reckless shit.

More bestie things include mutual masturbation or teaching the other how the other’s body’s work! When a sex scene comes on and it’s just too hot to ignore, you’ll lend a helping hand to the boner that he tries his best to hide. Or when you’re PMSing and he eats you out for hours and stuffs you with fingers until you’re crying about it being too much. Or him teaching you the best method of deep throating through many trial and errors. Or you teaching him the best way to hit it from the back.

Best friend Bakugou who will absolutely fuck you into the mattress whenever you’re about to go on a date. He’s fucking you stupid and crying on his cock, makes you call your date and tell him you have to cancel through hiccuping moans and cries. So after he makes you cum too many times to count, he’s picking up your limp body and carrying you to the couch for some bestie bonding/aftercare time because all you need is your best friend, not some fucking loser who’s only gonna break your heart in the end...(he’d never break your heart, but is too chicken shit to say it out loud)

Telling him that you’ll suck his dick if he does outlandish shit for you. You’re so surprised when he actually does it, that you’re automatically tying your braids back or slapping a scarf on because he deserves it at this point. He’s definitely a simp for his bff.

Loves when you get dressed in front of him, so he can comment on the new panties and bra set you got. You might have worn it on purpose knowing you had to change when you got to his house.

Buys you things best friends don’t usually buy each other for their birthdays like, flowers that mean “confession” and “love” and “adoration” and chocolate covered strawberries that spell out “be my gf” and a new lingerie set, but y’all are just extra close like that.

Just bestie things :)

#obsessed with this #send me more hcs guys pls #this is my serotonin from now on #bff bakugou #my hcs #mha smut #mha imagines #mha headcanons #bakugou imagine #bakugou x reader #bakugou hcs #katsuki bakugou smut

[moxfirefly]

Maybe a story or head canon list of Heisenberg with a daughter? Like father and daughter bonding. The daughter getting his ability with metal but is super sweet and playful. I have a lot of stuff to go with this, if you wanna message me about more of this go ahead :)

My time has come to unleash dad!Karl on y’all. Hope you don’t mind a headcanon list (it’s easier right now for me)

Listen for sure he’s gonna have some hang ups about being a dad and while he may not be the best camper at first, boy does he do a 180 when that kid is in his arms.

Karl isn’t a silly person by nature. Eccentric? Yes. Boastful? Absolutely. A showmen? You bet your ass he is. But being a dad for sure will unlock a part of him he probably never got to indulge in. Be playful and silly.

Yes he will stop whatever and play a round of I Spy. You wanna play some convoluted patty cake like game? He’ll listen, he’ll fuck up, he’ll learn it. Hide and Go Seek at the Dimitrescu castle? Fine it’s a wonderful opportunity to hopefully steal or break some of Alcina’s shit anyways.

That kid has basically unlocked his or hers own personal toy store. Karl will make ANYTHING and what he can’t make he’ll either get Duke on it or in the village. Big on gift giving, just wow, it’s Tuesday the baby deserves a new train set so what?

Forget about you having to hold that baby for more than 10 minutes. Karl hogs that kid as much as he hogs the blankets. He will create, design, fix etc all while that kid is on his lap or on his hip.

He’s got a confidant now. Do not be surprised to find him having a whole ass conversation with that kid. I’m talking running ideas and very difficult schematics by her or him.

Showing her some designs for soldats like “what if I put a jet pack on this son of a bitch? That would pretty stinking genius of me, huh?” And that baby will just be drooling and giggly all the way. He takes the giggles as a yes.

Wants to show off his kid but for sure is the parent that doesn’t want anyone to hold the kid.

Except Donna, he’s kinda soft on her, but it’s supervised and Angie needs to back the fuck up.

FYI he commissions Donna for the dolls.

He triple checks they are JUST dolls.

Lord almighty that kid is doomed when they grow up. Nobody and nothing is worthy of that kid. The first second some lad tries to talk to them, Karl’s gonna glaring daggers.

Goes without saying, he will teach her or him to fight. How to deliver a proper punch is important.

If the kid has inherited his powers oh looooooord

Takes her or him out the junk field and just goes ham on teaching them how to use their powers. Expect a fun evening of watch your child throw giant metal scraps across the front yard while dad celebrates like a fucking mad man.

Once this kid is old enough he teaches them the entire layout of the Factory. Safe zones, danger zones, emergency exits, secret exits. Haulers and Soldats are programmed now to defend this kid with everything they’ve got.

Afternoon naps 🥺

Karl’s sleep schedule is garbage but man does this kid know how to persuade him to slow the fuck down better than you ever could. So if baby falls a sleep on him he does everything to not wake baby which means he might as well get some shut eye.

He never thought he’d have a little rug rat so invested in wanting to brush and braid his hair so much!

And want to have so many imaginary tea parties

She colors his designs. Sturm is now pink by the looks of it and instead of propellors he has sun flowers, well alright but it’s impractical he thinks.

All the haulers have names (they are the slowest and often times enjoys watching them go about)

“Papa, Winston is stuck again and Geoffrey fell down” and Karl will blink and well ok, off to fix Winston and RIP Geoffrey it is.

Honestly that kid is the god damn sun for him. The brightest little spot in his life. From absolute fear to just pure fucking enchantment. It’s more cause to fight and get her out to really have a good life.

#ask #artisterna #requested headcanons #karl heisenberg #Heisenberg #lord Heisenberg #re8 #re village #resident evil village #resident evil 8 #fluff #dad!karl

[tanzaniiite]

can i request the trend of tiktok “the faster you get to me the more kisses you get!” with tsukishima, akaashi, bokuto and hinata? 🥺👉👈

“THE FASTER YOU GET TO ME, THE MORE KISSES YOU GET” TREND

w/ tsukishima, akaashi, bokuto, hinata & iwaizumi

requests: OPEN

warnings: talk of pee and poop in iwaizumi’s

a/n: of course you can! thanks for the request! 💓 (also the trend is used more as a prompt than it is as the main focus whoops 🤡)

i added iwaizumi bc he was requested in another ask so i just merged the two. my character limit is still four max!

who gave him the right 🥵

the salt lick himself

this dude is annoyingggg

you already knew what his reaction was gonna be,, so why bother?

welll you just wanted to be like all the other tiktok girls 👉🏽👈🏽

you wait until you see tsukki and yama walking out of the club room and towards you

you’re bracing yourself for the embarrassment

“babe! the faster you get to me, the more kisses you get!”

no shit, he stops in his tracks. yama’s just looking at him like ‘what you finna do?’

you know what he does? turns around and starts walking in THE OTHER DIRECTION

you are… baffled

when finally catch up to him, you’re pouting

“dude, what the hell?”

he glances at you, then flicks your forehead dummy hard

you’re triggered, “did you just flick me?”

this snarky mf is now laughing at you

btw yamaguchi is very uncomfortable rn

tsukishima the leans down, bean pole headass, and kisses your forehead

“sorry i don’t do dumb tik tok trends”

“it’s not dumb! you just didn’t want to kiss me”

he looks at you with an unimpressed look, as if saying, ‘we both know that’s not true’

alas you’re still pouting

yama: “haha this is me, see you guys tmmr” *leaves in awkward*

tsukishima knows your not gonna stop acting like a baby until he gives you what you want

he sighs, walks a couple feet away from you, pulls out his phone and starts recording

“say the thing”

“huh?”

“the trend thing. say it”

your eyes light up so much and tsukki smiles a bit

he’s so soft for you uwu

“the faster you get to me, the more kisses you get!”

because he’s a tall boi, it only takes him a few steps to get to you but when he does, he kisses you hard

like damn, okay sir

when he pulls away you’re flustered asf, he chuckles and stops recording

“happy?”

this poor boy wouldn’t know a tiktok trend if it punched him the face

i hate to say it, but he’s a boomer 😔🤘🏽 just like dadchi

he’s at your house picking you up for a date and your sibling is bombarding him with questions

when you come out, akaashi is like ‘oh thank goodness’

you smile at him, then wack your sibling in their side

“stop bothering him you weirdo!”

“what we’re just having a nice lil chat”

you shake your head and start to walk away but your sibling is holding akaashi back, giving him the typical ‘you hurt her, i kill you’ speech

now you know your boyfriend is great when he’s under pressure but.. this is new territory for him

you remember a trend that you saw a while back and decide to do it now

you know keiji wants your family to like him, so he’ll be conflicted between going to you or staying and listening to your siblings speech

it’s perfect really

so you pull out your phone and start recording

“baby! the faster you get to me, the sooner we can go on our date and the more kisses you’ll get”

my guy just blinks, “it is getting late..”. plus he’s not opposed to the kissing part so he starts to walk towards you

“hey! i’m not done talking to you”

‘that’s true, it would be rude of me to walk away mid conversation… if you could even call it that’ he thinks

you laugh slightly, you can practically see the gears spinning in his head

“keiji come on we don’t have all day”

“don’t you walk away from me”

akaashi sighs loudly. the longer he spends talking to your sibling the less time he has with you. if he walks away, he’s at risk of your sibling hating him. he’s stumped.

suddenly he turns to your sibling, “sorry l/n, we can continue this discussion later. y/n and i have a date that’s very time sensitive. i apologize”

he then walks to you and grabs your hand before walking off

“y’know my crackhead sibling was just mess with you right? you could’ve just walked away”

“i figured, but that’s still rude”

ugh we stan boy who has manners

“so.. um, may i get a kiss now?”

omg he’s so cute i love him 🥺

you grin and pepper his face with a bunch of kisses, making him blush slightly

tbh you don’t even need to ask, this dude is infatuated w/ you

he’ll run to you any day of the week

but what had happened was.. y’all were on a date and bokuto went to go get ice cream

but that was like 15 mins ago and you’re just sitting on the park bench looking like a fool

and ngl you were a little worried bc bokuto is so easy to distract you’re thinking he fell into a pond or something

so you go to look for him and tbh it doesn’t take long cause cmon,, it’s bokuto

he be loud asf

n e ways, there he is in all his glory playing with a German Shepard who looked like it was trying so hard not to bite him

the owner looked nervous asf but was probably too nervous to say something social anixety be like that

bokuto spots you and waves at you frantically

“hey babe! look at this dog! it’s so cute!”

ugh bless him

you send the owner an apologetic look and turn back to bokuto

“it is cute but i think you’re aggravating it.. i don’t want you to get bitten. let’s go”

“it won’t bite me!” *to dog* “right? you’re too good to bite me, yes you are, yes you are”

*inhales* this stubborn kid, so now you got to think of a new tactic

you suddenly remember that bokuto is affectionate x1 mil

he would never miss a chance to be smothered in love

this was as good a time as any to do this trend and save your bf in the process :))

you whip out your phone, “hey baby? the faster you get to me, the more kisses you get”

when i tell you his head SWIVELED

the dude is an owl confirmed 🙌🏽

literally almost trips trying to get to you, now he’s looking at you like an excited puppy ready for pats

the owner gives you thankful look and leaves

bokuto is still staring at you, waiting for his smooches

so you deliver 😌 you grab his face and kiss all around and place a final kiss on his lips

bokuto looks so happy, like he’s smiling so wide rn

all hail tiktok it rly be saving your stupid boyfriend

my bby 🥺

he loves you so so so so much

hinata will do anything for you yes anything

and the feeling is mutual, but sometimes you cannot comprehend what goes on in that mind if his

like,, you could not, for the life of you, understand why he ran into MOVING TRAFFIC

let me tell you what happened

so you were shopping with your friends (and just to clarify y’all were a strip where there’s a bunch of stores on each block)

you guys were just casual walking and then your friend pointed out that it sounded like someone was calling your name

you looked around and there was your orange fuzzy bouncing up and down on the other side of the street

“BABY! BABE! Y/N! LOOK!”

too cute i swear

you smiled and waved, “hi baby!”

“wait until i get across this street imma kiss you so hard!”

cue your friends gagging

you giggle and decide to reference a tiktok cause why not?

“the faster you get to me, the more kisses you can get!”

b-but he thought you were serious

so yes he ran into the middle of a busy street

you are traumatized, paralyzed with fear if you will, you thought your boyfriend was going to die right in front of you

when he finally reached you, you scolded him mother hen mode activated

“why the hell would you do that hinata?!”

uh oh, you used his last name.. not good

“but you said–”

“i was joking!”

oh. now he’s embarrassed and sad bc you’re mad at him

at least he thought you were until you grabbed him and hugged him tightly, “don’t ever do any dumb shit like that again, okay? you scared me”

“i won’t,, but since i did risk my life, can i get a kiss?”

“NO.”

i feel like y’all have a relationship where you guys can be mean(?) to each other w/o getting offended

so you guys are at your house watching Netflix together and he suddenly gets up and leaves your room

“where are you going?”

“gotta piss”

istg i hate the word “piss” but IK he says that instead of “pee”

n e ways you resume watching the show but your bf’s been gone for like 10 mins

you go to the bathroom and knock on the door, “hey, you good in there? it doesn’t take 10 minutes to pee”

you hear him groan, “fuck off”

and then,, it all clicks, “are you constipated?!”

“FUCK OFF”

now you’re laughing your ass of bc what the fuck

“don’t clog my toilet nasty”

“y/n i swear to god if you don’t leave me alone–”

“what? are you gonna fling your doo doo on me?”

you finally stop teasing him and go back to your room

you send him a text, ‘still constipated? 💩’

‘breaking up w/ you is looking mighty tempting rn 🥴’

‘rude 🤧 but hey, the faster you poop, the more kisses you get’

this dude left you on read

and didn’t return until 20 mins later

“damn i know my bathroom stinks now”

“shut up and give me my kisses”

you raise an eyebrow, “i– you took 20 mins”

“okay.. did you want me to get up mid shit and come to you?”

you don’t why but that shit had you cackling, you reach up and pull him close to you

you give him a couple of pecks and a deep kiss

aww he’s smiling 🥺

“i love you my lil doo doo machine”

he pushed you off your bed

tanzaniiite © 2020 — all rights reserved. do not repost, modify, or copy. do not plagiarize. thank you.

#tanz writes 【📖】 #haikyuu!! #haikyuu fandom #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu tsukishima #haikyuu akaashi #haikyuu bokuto #haikyuu hinata #haikyuu iwaizumi #haikyuu smau #haikyuu smut #tsukishima kei #akaashi keiji #bokuto koutarou #hinata shōyō #iwaizumi hajime #tsukishima kei x reader #akaashi keiji x reader #bokuto koutarou x reader #hinata shoyo x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #tsukishima x reader #akaashi x reader #bokuto x reader #hinata x reader #iwaizumi x reader #hq akaashi #hq bokuto #haikyuu headcanons

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

How about B, I, L, U, V for our big boi Theo? :3c

Sure thing, bub!! Theo hcs coming right up! 💙💙💙💙

I really hope you like them!!!! :3c

Fluff ABCs Template here for requests

Body -- What is his favorite part of her body?

Do y’all have any idea how hard it is for me to answer this letter without making this horny hours.

ANYWAY losing my mind because my instinct was to respond with “her tears.” And then my brain was like. Minnie that’s not a part of the body…that’s not how any of this works…But let’s pretend for a moment like I am valid, shall we?

No cap, I die on this hill. And my answer comes in two parts. The first reason tears destroy him like nothing else is because of how much she feels for the van Gogh brothers tbh. I think Theodorus is very accustomed to their situation being seen through a lens of indifference, a kind of “oh well, what can be done ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” especially. While he may argue that he’s used to it, he’s full of shit. It hurts every time–even more so because people are being dismissive about the person he loves most in the world (other than her, of course.) He’ll be silent for the most part, usually pretty stoic if those things come up, but the way her eyes glisten with tears just undoes him. He feels stupid to be so affected, but it’s something else entirely when somebody actually gives a damn. Somehow it's harder to keep his composure under that gaze...

The second reason is more about teasing. He can’t resist getting a reaction out of her sometimes, or seeing her brought to frustrated tears. That lovely blush overtaking the tips of her ears and face, to say nothing if it happens during nsfw hours. They make her face shine, a visible manifestation of all the emotion he tries so hard to deny–to run from–that it just moves him like nothing else. Where he can't find words or proper expression, she always does. Leonardo said once that a single glance at that man and you can tell he’s in love with art. And he was right, save that that kind of passion can be found in him again in moments like this. Alone, driving her to madness and pleasure.

It’s the part of him that belongs to her, and her alone.

Injury -- How would he act if she got hurt?

Lmao call Vincent instead of Theo if you actually want anything productive to be done about it.

I’m KIDDING mostly but to be honest I think he has a hard time hiding his distress when MC is hurt. If it’s something small he’ll try to play it off as mild irritation, muttering about oblivious hondjes and how she needs to be more careful. If it’s something like a bruise or a bandaged cut–maybe she bumped into something–he’ll just clumsily try to pat the pain away. Don’t try to hide it from him either because he has eyes like a hawk and will expose you. He’ll be a dumdum but it’s really sweet because he’ll be so gentle over such a tiny wound (it always amuses Dazai so much) that all the men will have to kind of hold back laughter. They don’t mean to mock the guy but he takes it so seriously it’s a little bit funny. Vincent is so unironically proud of him for being sensitive though and it’s enough to make a girl cry TwT

If it’s a very serious injury I am sorry but you are getting nothing but probably a panic attack from him. He doesn’t really do well with even the slightest suggestion of losing a loved one, so if she breaks a bone or experiences excessive bleeding–whatever the risk may be to her life–he is fighting to stay in control of his body’s response. He’s trying so hard to be strong for her, but he can hardly breathe and his vision is a little fuzzy and did they say she would be unconscious for a few days? Needless to say he’s a bit of a mess. Ideally, Vincent would do his best to help the guy stabilize while he waits for things to improve, but it’s touch and go for a bit there.

When she wakes up, he needs as much gentleness as she does in many respects. The stress attacks and constant distress have just resulted in so much tension and exhaustion, he doesn’t even have the energy for any verbal swipes at anyone. (I was going to say “he’s just a big puppy” but the irony hit me so hard I literally couldn’t finish typing the sentence). He just really needs lots of kisses and hand holds and promises she isn’t going anywhere, completely unprompted. Not to be emo (WAKE ME UP) but he really needs to be brought back to life slowly, in a way. He’ll get better with some time and assurance that she’s going to make it, but oTL hondje please, he can only take so many heart attacks in one lifetime.

Love -- How does he show her he loves her?

He does not.

I’m KIDDING but I stand by the fact that he’s more of a show than tell type of guy. He has a really, really hard time verbalizing everything that he feels, so I think the person he loves would ideally have to keep that in mind. He’s lowkey but very classy, imo. Gets surprise flowers every once in a while, buys groceries after work all the time if she needs things at home, always reliable with taking care of their finances (and in general). I feel like the thing about Theodorus is that he’s the quiet romantic; he won’t smooth talk or endlessly go on about love, but when she needs him? He’s there. Come hell or high water. When things are hard, when things feel impossible, when life just feels like one slap in the face after another–he’s warm and there and steady, leading her by the hand.

He's very proactive about just about anything other than expressing his feelings directly, so write that down--

Upset --How does he act when she's upset?

LMFAO catch him crashing at Vincent’s place tonight, no thanks murderous hondje ain’t it for me, sorry sweaty.

All jokes aside, I think he’s the type of guy who just has no idea how to handle it. I mean she’s the one that’s usually pretty stable emotionally, so when she isn’t it tends to be a big deal–the cause of her foul mood has got to be sizable. While he may be stymied upfront, will most likely go after the root cause of her distress and kill it with a hammer when her back is turned. Nobody upsets his hondje (unless it’s him) and gets away with it. The man has two modes: kill and more kill, and so he uses the second one as necessary in these situations.

That being said, it doesn't mean he's completely bereft of sensitivity. If it's a more sorrowful kind of upset, he'll try to make time for a lot of cuddling and pampering. Get her things she likes to eat/drink, rub her back gently, put on a movie she likes (even if it's boring to him). He hopes that some care and a few little distractions will be enough to calm her soon. He loves his hondje best when she's smiling, after all ùwú

Vaunt -- What is he proud of? Does he like to show her off?

Oh my goddddddd. Bih. If this man suffers from a cardinal sin, it’s pride I swear. Even if he’s Mr. Bad Mood Stink Face he will literally never say a bad word about her. There are so many people convinced he’s deadass got some kind of disorder because he has scary face, but also looks so delighted at the same time it's terrifying. Gets all puffed up about what a hard worker she is, how talented, how he couldn’t have done any of this without her. Even when he’s roaring drunk, now he just rambles on and cries about how much he loves her and Vincent and it’s beyond hilarious. Would throw down for her, would die for her, would steal a clown’s balloon for her–you name it.

She can do absolutely no wrong, so write that down.

Has a love hate relationship with showing her off (in the more blatant way) though because. Homewrecking. Does she look lovely in that dress? Undoubtedly so. If he sees one more gross lustful/covetous gaze directed at her though, he’s just gonna leave with her in tow. (He would throw hands but she doesn't like that.) Y’all know the whole Lord of The Rings’ “My p r e c i o u s” thing? That’s his vibe LMFAO. Depending on his mood he will either be like "hell yeah that's my wife you jealous bih, I'm the luckiest guy ever ik now buzz off" or he will just get more and more lowkey steamed until they leave.

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp theo #ikevamp theodorus #ikevamp fluff #ikevamp headcanons #ikevamp fluff headcanons #yall i laughed so much writing these this disaster fk kills me #the way he is just so #no💙 #he's literally just that friend where you ask them to do smth #he says no #and then does it immediately #an angy legend we stan #pls enjoy all you theo thirsters #and ty for the request sweetums!!!! welcome anytime~ #rambles #not incorrect quotes

[goatskickin]

When we last left Hope, she’d moved in Boyfriend #1 aka Patrick and they were working on getting their family started. Hope finally got indoor plumbing but even so, there’s still plenty of green stink clouds.

What will the apocalypse bring the soon-to-be parents?

“...I don’t know why. I’m worried about her showing up on time and if she doesn’t...” ...

”...oh gosh, no! But l - well she’s really not even all that long in the tooth now! Ha, but it’s not like her to be...incontinent? I quite earnestly didn’t think I’d need to worry about her hygiene at this age...” “...I mean it’s her show, but if you need a fill-in, I’d be happy to! It’s not like we have a line of customers out the door! Y’all can get paid in crates of booze if you want, haha”. ...

...

“No, I’ll make my way over there myself, but thank you. Hey, just a sec -"

“Mamma, why are you washing the windows goofy? No one’s coming in, and we can’t spare the water.”

“...I want some red roses for a blue lady Send them to the sweetest gal in town And if they do the trick, I'll hurry back to pick Your best white orchid for her wedding gown...” “You singing that old song again? That’s nice. Why don’t you come in the kitchen, I’m just about done with this call.”

I hope these pretty flowers chase her blues away I want some red roses for a blue, blue lady....

“...I’ve got to go to the store for eggs baby, I’ll be just a moment”

“MAMMA! What the f - come back!!!”

“Shit sorry, she just ran out of the house! I’ll be there on Tuesday, sorry!”

~~~

Back at the Witch’s Hut, even though the community’s water system has been reinstated in Pitstop Valley, some old habits die hard.

Sweet Patrick gets his skillin’ on in between making hot dogs (all that we can make with the cheapest grill) and sleeping on the Murphy bed next to his bride-to-be.

I’ve tried to artfully disguise the fact that this top doesn’t have a PREG MORPH WHY DOESN’T IT HAVE ONE

Yes, even though there are corpse-like townies dragging themselves around, somehow, hobby NPC’s break into the house unscathed. 🙄

Hope’s been doing a lot of meditating throughout this pregnancy, as we can’t spare the extra food her motives panel is begging for. Putting her needs in stasis via meditation is the best I can do for her. 

At least there’s always WooHoo! 

I don’t have Risky Woohoo installed thank goodness. Babies have to be planned when times are tough - and they don’t get much tougher than no lights and one meal a day per family.

Hope continues to refuse to wear winter appropriate clothes.

I’ve just realized we’ve never gotten a proper look at our founder! Here she is, between a plate of hot dogs and the busted old car.

And Patrick as well!

“Patrick, can we play the game again? Imagination Vacation?”

“Of course!”

"It’s the first day after arriving at our rented cabin in the woods. When you awake, there’s a slight chill in the air. It feels a bit thrilling, knowing that the wood burning stove being out is the cause of this, and that will be up to the household to keep the autumn chill away. 

You dress quickly and find that I’m already up. A bubble of warmth surrounds me: coffee brewing, hot water running in the sink, pork sausages sizzling away in a pan. I’m buttering bread for you, and there’s oranges in a bowl on the counter. You peel one and sip coffee, while we talk about our road-trip to get here: the traffic, the landmarks we have passed, a particularly interesting-looking farm animal. We have our breakfast in the cheerful light of the kitchenette of our rented cabin. 

We’ll plan a hike for later. I’ll pack us dried fruit (dates, apricots and cherries), and sandwiches (muffuletta, egg salad and club). We’ll fill our water bottles at the fountain at the top of the hiking hill.” 

This is just one of many reminders that Mr. Springs-Eternal is an absolute dance fiend.

When not skilling or making food, this man is always grooving. Must be the 8 Active points. 

Oop, let’s get those kids married before Hope pops. She’s got a want for it, and for once she’s in an outfit that shows her state.

*sniff* love these kids

Okay yep yep all married now back to business

...like eating hot dogs again. Someday soon Hope, someday soon you’ll get to eat something else.

Dance Fiend Patrick gets serious Hope to loosen up a little.

“OOGIE OOGIE OOGIE”

And soon enough, it’s baby time!

“Hold steady my crumpet! I am here for you!”

And the first baby of the post-apocalypse is born! Hello Justice!

It may be hard to tell in the dark of the room, but baby boy Justice has mom and dad’s purple eyes.

el oh el no Hope will not be getting 3 days off! Before the Slacker restriction is lifted, no one gets days off, sick days, or retirement.  

Back to work with you right away!

Baby Justice is also a firm reminder that Hope and Patrick are not able to order groceries. A whole new fridge must be purchased. 

Patrick’s great at this, obvs,

🥺

Justice has his crib perched under the 2nd floor’s only window, by the stairs. In retrospect not a great place for me to put it but objects can’t be moved until Athletic is lifted SOOOOOOOOO

I decided to put Hope and Patrick’s diplomas over the fridge. Ancient history now.

“How is the little kumquat? I’d like to read him this history about how the release of affordable food processors changed how we participate in home cooking! I changed how people approached cooking, viewing it has a hobby that can be pursued rather than common drudgery.” “Patrick, feel free to pursue another bottle for Justice, mkay?”

Justice gets his own sink bath treatment!

“Hope, why are you up so late?”

“I’m writing a paper about the water and plumbing crisis in Pitstop Valley for a medical review journal. 

We’ve been able to clean the current water reserves using bacteria that have been treated with mildly antibiotic salts. This has cleaned our current stock of water, but we need to find the source of the radioactive leak to Pitstop Valley’s water table.

Also the fixes to the community’s plumbing system have been a little slapdash. If there was any kind of political structure, or even a prominent business owner in Pitstop Valley, I think my colleagues and I at St. Circe’s could convince them to spare the best available pipes to make the proper repairs.”

“Dear, forgive me for saying so, but wouldn’t this kind of publication be better suited to someone who did work in politics or even science, rather than a medical doctor?”

“Yes it would Patrick, but no one has stepped up in that regard. So it falls to me. I don’t even know how to spell some of these terms about the water cleaning bacteria. It’s so much extra work that I don’t really know a thing about, so I have to do more research just so I can understand the point I am trying to make.”

For now, it will be Hope who is working and Patrick who stays home with the kids. As you can imagine, there’s no hiring Nannies. I can’t remember what restriction that falls under, but I’ve only cleared 2 so far, so it’s one of the other 12!

And as Monday rolls around again, Joey the Comb takes his cut of the family’s funds. The price of “protection”.

“I am really sick of eating hot dogs”

I mean I’m sure Pengy here is sick of seeing you outside with no coat on, but who is to say.

“Cheer up Hope! I’ve been working on a meatless alternative using what I can find in the donation bin and at the dump. Go ahead, guess what’s in this one”

“I mean, other than a hot dog? Beats me”

“Well the binder is carrot baby food if you can believe it! It’s got the perfect tackiness to keep the veggie dog held together, plus it lends a little color, and even a little sweetness. If I had a peanut sauce and some cilantro -”

Hope tolerates Patrick’s gourmand ramblings, but belching seems to be her limit.

It’s not like they lack for smelly bodily functions around here though. 

The paper Hope is working on (while raising her Creativity skill) is completed!

If you had not already noticed, the Witch’s Hut got a second story to accommodate the all-important bathroom, and room for the kiddo. 

Hunger being the main motivation for meditation, the founding couple uses the rest of the space upstairs to wait until morning until they can eat again.

Justice continues to be a baby! He’ll be growing up soon however - no birthday cakes though, not allowed by the Culinary restriction.

Patrick’s other daytime duties include avoiding Boyfriend #3 Hobart.

Hope’s first chance card! I can’t skip these due to the Slacker restriction.

This one thankfully goes well. I may not be so lucky next time.

Being the chief of staff means coming home from work in this snazzy business suit.

“If only Rishell could see me in this!”

Speaking of our favorite friend, while Patrick can’t invite her over by phone for Justice’s birthday, they can use the car to pick her up, as she and Hope are BFFs.

Okay so after stinky Justice is washed, he grows up.

And I can see that our heir is already sporting his mother’s distinctive nose and mouth!

Listen it’s a one bathroom shack kid, you’ll get to play in the toilet all you want in a moment here.

Oh, he’s very sweet!

And even though this default pajama for toddlers clips through his hair I am NOT changing it.

Hope does this like every time that Patrick is asleep. Triple-bolters I tell ya!

Patrick gets to work skilling up his progeny.

Oats and beans and barley grow Oats and beans and barley grow Do you or I or anyone know how oats and beans and barley grow? First the farmer plants the seeds Stands up tall and takes his ease Stamps his feet and claps his hands And turns around to view his land-

“Now you try!”

“Ohwawa ba ba ba bah gruh?”

“That’s GOOD Justice! Try again.”

Singing a nursery rhyme is also an excellent opportunity for toddlers to learn Charisma, which I’m pretty sure they can’t skill for again until teenhood.

Just wanted you all to get a little glimpse at Hope’s wants panel.

Top wants are to skill and to spend time with family. Fears are dreading the death of her many boyfriends.

Work friends, while usually annoying, are sims I like to keep around. For the friends requirements for work, and for future spouses.

“Bust a Move, Bust a Move, Bust a Move, Gossip, Tell Joke”

“Wow Hope! We are friends now!”

“Cool, good, I’ll take that computer you’ve offered me and sell it. Goodbye now, my actual BFF is on her way over.”

The toddler’s needs are taken care of prior to Rishell’s arrival.

“I’m making something special for our guest. I’ve been working on a new recipe using lentils for the base, flavored with cinnamon, cumin, ginger, cardamom, paprika and cayenne. Any nuts I can find have long since gone rancid, but grains like bulgur haven’t been grabbed by anyone else. They lend a similar chew, and the protein offered is comparable. I hope Rishell doesn’t mind that this has a little kick!”

“Of course this looks just like hot dogs, but it won’t taste like it!”

And so on a snowy evening like so many others, the Springs-Eternal family gets their first invited visitor.

“I’ve missed you friend!”

“I’ve missed you too! Aiyanna still won’t tell me how she got us a ride out of Brainia U, but she managed. I am sorry she can’t be here tonight - she’s guarding the homestead and didn’t want to leave it unoccupied”

“Oh that’s okay. How have you two been?”

“Well, Aiyanna managed to find this abandoned bakery, called Sweets n More. It’s nothing much, but we’ve been living out of it. It’s quite charming really! Very Swiss Family Robinson but you know, in a bakery!

“There’s a little room above the bakery itself and we’ve got a mattress in there and that’s it. I mean, it’s not as though we could take a lot with us!”

“Aiyanna stays at home for now, guarding the homestead. And I - well if you can believe it, I’m in the military! I know right! Me! But I’ve been outfitting our shes theys and thems in the best service dress I can manage out of donated scraps. They say my patch jobs are the best they’ve seen! I’m a regular army brat!”

“My pay is enough, for now, to support the both of us.”

“What I really wanted to do is make us wedding dresses from the aprons I found in a dirty heap at the bakery, but Aiyanna said we didn’t need them.

I did manage to make us a little wedding cake from some of the flour and sugar that wasn’t wet or spoiled -”

“WAIT you guys have flour?! What else do you have?! Yeast, corn meal, vital wheat gluten?! You must let me trade you for some dry goods, I’ve got the best idea for eggless chocolate chip cookies -”

“Well of course Patrick! I’m glad to see your epicure tendencies haven’t waned in these difficult times.”

...   “Can you tell me, what station is this? Aiyanna and I don’t get reception at the bakery, and I don’t know of any station, even before the fall, that would play Bjork...”

Auntie Rishell meets Justice and of course, is smitten.

“You know typically I think that neon polyester children’s wear is very eau de vulgaire, but I’ll be darned if it’s not just the most charming on you, little one.”

Aww

“Patrick, you make an excellent househusband, but you’d make an even better chef! What is this toothsome texture?”

“Well I will tell you Rishell! So I was looking for something that had the texture of brown rice, but had more of a protein output....”

Rishell’s visit is a welcome one, as Hope finally has a reprieve from Patrick’s prattling about gluten structure and how rice paper brushed with soy sauce wouldn’t make half-bad bacon.

Hope brings home the proverbial bacon and Patrick fries it up and uses it to pay the bills.

Justice continues to toddler.

Local bad egg Caleb King steals the paper, invisibly.

Hope brings home the frozen coworker yet again. Shouldn’t make fun of him too much, we may need him as a spouse in the future.

...on second thought

“If you do not MIND getting off the FOOD I have MADE you APE, that’s 2 HOURS OF WORK WITH GLUTINOUS RICE FLOUR WHICH IS VERY HARD TO COME BY -”

Justice learns to walk, though there’s nowhere interesting to go really. Maybe the other end of the lot. 

And now that Justice has most of his toddler skills learned and will be a child soon, the founding couple gets cracking on the spare.

~~~

And that’s where I am leaving it! What will childhood have in store for young Justice? If Patrick could open a restaurant, how prominently would vegan crudités be featured? Who will step up in the community to improve infrastructure so that a busy Chief of Staff like Hope doesn’t have to do it all? What would Rishell’s wedding dress have looked like had she been able to have one? Until next time, Carry on, Woman! 

#apocalypse challenge #apocalypse C.O.W. #sims 2 story

[the-himawari]

A3! Mizuno Kaya - Translation [SSR] The Company President of April 1st (2/3)

*Please read disclaimer on blog; default name set as Izumi

---

Izumi: (T-these people are…? They’re all wearing glasses and they kind of give off a rough vibe…)

Mizuno: Those guys are the members of the Development department.  MIZUNO Enterprise also has an in-house engineering department. When we launch any sort of internet or other service, these guys carry out the development.

Izumi: I see. (But they feel kind of threatening though…)

Banri: Oi, you know what we’re talkin’ about, don’tcha?

Juza: It’s about the contract Kazunari-san agreed on.

Azami: It’s cause of you spoutin’ “that’s possible, that’s possible,” without any thought that the deadline’s become hard to deal with.

Omi: I’m glad you’re leaving it in our hands to develop it, but…

Taichi: It was way too tricky this time, y’know…! We ended up staying at the office overnight…!

Banri: What kinda selfish shit are you pullin’?

Kazunari: Ehh~! But guys, if it’s y’all at the Development department, then you totes got it under control, right!

Sakyo: Don’t just leave it all to someone else so lightly. Are you screwin’ with me? In the first place, you punk ass…!

Kazunari: Well, I trust everyone on the Dev team! And besides…!

Mizuno: Now, now, you two.

Sakyo: President…

Mizuno: Let’s find a way to come to an agreement that reduces our company’s workload while satisfying the other party as well.

Sakyo: …I understand.

Kazunari: Yeah, that works… Sorry to the Dev team too. I’ll consult with them again.

Izumi: (This issue was settled really well. As expected of President Mizuno…)

Mizuno: Now then, on that topic, how about we take a tour of the Development department next?

Izumi: Sure!

Taichi: Ahh, wait, don’t tell me—it’s the new hire’s tour around each department!?

Mizuno: Yes, I showed her the Sales department just now…

Sakyo: ! You…

Izumi: ? (This person’s staring at me with a surprised look on his face…)

Mizuno: What’s the matter, Sakyo-san?

Sakyo: …Well, it was quite a long time ago, I suppose. You don’t remember, huh?

Izumi: (Remember…? Also, speaking of Sakyo… AHH!) Could it be, Sakyo onii-chan…!?

Employees: SAKYO ONII-CHAN!?

Omi: Do you two know each other?

Sakyo: We lived in the same neighbourhood when we were kids.

Izumi: I made him play with me a lot, but then onii-chan moved away a short time later…

Mizuno: I see, you are… childhood friends.

Juza: Then it’s a long-awaited reunion.

Sakyo: I see, you’re already at the adult working age too, huh…

Banri: He’s legit wiping his tears away.

Azami: His old man-stink’s increasin’.

Sakyo: Shut it—who is?

Banri: New hire-chan, you’re thinking ‘bout where you’ll be assigned to from now on, right?

Taichi: It'll be easy to work if you have someone you know, so won’t you join the Development department? I wanna work with you too!

Omi: Yeah, we welcome you.

Azami: I just joined the company last year too. If you come to the Development department, I’ll take care of you.

Banri: I’ll teach you anything you want, so you can count on me.

Sakyo: If there’s somethin’ you don’t know, or that’s troubling you, or if there’s anything you wanna know, I’ll help you anytime.

Izumi: Thank you very much…! (I thought they were kind of intimidating before, but everyone’s really kind.)

-pause-

Sakyo: Well, the Development department’s noisy like this, but we have some pretty interesting points too.

Banri: By the way, oi, Hyodo! If you review the code you wrote, it’s trash, dumbass!

Juza: AHH? There’s no way it is. Your eyes are what’s trash, jackass.

Banri: The hell d’you say!?

Taichi: Omi-kun, I’ve lost my concentration~, help me~!

Omi: Perfect, the quiche just finished so how about you take a break? Please help yourselves if you’d like, too, President, Tachibana-san.

Mizuno: Thank you very much. Itadakimasu.

Izumi: Thank you very much!

Mizuno: Fushimi-kun uses the in-office oven and makes food and sweets for us like this.

Izumi: Wow, it looks and smells really great. Itadakimasu. …! It's delicious!

Omi: Haha, I’m glad.

Juza: The sweets Omi-san makes are real good. I’m sure you’ll like ‘em too.

Taichi: We also have Omi-kun’s tasty snacks! It’s cool and fun, so choose the Development department!

Mizuno: Now then, it’s about time for my meeting with everyone from the Secretarial department. Let’s head over together, Tachibana-san.

-pause-

Izumi: (I-I can’t believe I’m allowed to enter the President’s office…! It’ll be pretty hard to get a chance to in the future…)

Mizuno: Now then, let’s begin the meeting. Tachibana-san, please observe from over there.

Izumi: Yes!

Tsumugi: I’ve summarized the details from the meeting the other day. The related documents are over here.

Mizuno: They’re very easy to understand and this helps a lot. The flowers that you’ve placed out today are also very beautiful.

Izumi: (By flowers, he means that beautiful flower arrangement that’s decorating the President’s office, right?)

Mizuno: I’m always able to work comfortably thanks to you, Tsukioka-san. Thank you very much.

Tsumugi: Not at all. I’m glad I could be of help.

Azuma: Fufu, as expected of Tsumugi, the soothing secretary.

Tasuku: I’ve carried over the all the documents and items and such to be used in the prep meeting with the client.

Mizuno: Understood. Sorry for always leaving the physical work to you.

Tasuku: Please leave it to me anytime. Also, here’s this week’s training menu. Let’s go to the gym tomorrow too. I’ve prepared new protein and drinks.

Homare: Body building secretary Tasuku-kun’s special training menu and special drinks, hm?

Mizuno: Thank you very much. Could you also give me some advice on stretching when you have time between work?

Tasuku: Of course.

Hisoka: Did you sleep well yesterday, President?

Mizuno: Indeed. It’s all thanks to Mikage-san, the pleasant sleep support secretary.

Hisoka: That’s great. Today, I’ve prepared a drink to have before you sleep, and a nicely scented candle. I also found a cushion that feels snuggly, so please give it a try.

Mizuno: Fufu, I’m looking forward to them all.

Hisoka: And I’ve prepared marshmallows too.

Mizuno: The marshmallows Mikage-san prepares when I’m craving something a little bit sweet are truly delicious.

Azuma: Your skin condition also looks good, partly because of the good night’s sleep you got.

Mizuno: The cream Yukishiro-san recommended is very comfortable to use, and I apply it all the time.

Azuma: I’m glad you’ve taken a liking to it. Let’s go to the beauty-treatment salon another time.

Mizuno: Yes.

Guy: Beauty secretary Yukishiro really knows the President’s skin and hair well after all, huh?

Izumi: (I see, the President meets with people often, so things like that are important too.)

Azuma: Fufu, you look very nice today, President Mizuno. Nothing but respect for my President.

Mizuno: T-thank you very much…!

Homare: Now then, these are the documents and materials to be used in the conference at noon.

Mizuno: Impressive, they’re so artistic again this time!

Homare: Why, naturally!

Tsumugi: The documents and materials Homare-san, the fine arts secretary, makes are famous both in-house and among our client companies.

Homare: I have several artistic propositions as well, so please expect them.

Mizuno: Yes! I’m looking forward to it.

Guy: Regarding the documents you will use in the conference this afternoon—. Furthermore, regarding the schedule afterwards and getting in touch with each section to communicate with the client—.

Mizuno: I understand. On that issue, there’s also…

Guy: Understood.

Tasuku: Guy-san really is prompt in what he does.

Hisoka: That’s the secretarial android for you.

Homare: He also serves as the President’s security, so he is truly reliable.

Mizuno: What do you think, Tachibana-san? A meeting with the Secretarial department goes like this.

Tsumugi: President Mizuno is very busy, so the Secretarial department provides full backup for the management of his schedule and tasks.

Mizuno: Everyone supports me by making use of the skills each of them excel at, and it’s truly such a great help.

Izumi: That’s wonderful…!

Azuma: What do you think? Would you like to join the Secretarial department and try working with us?

Homare: That would be splendid. It is sure to be exciting!

Tasuku: The work of a secretary is also rewarding.

Guy: Yes. I will teach you anything if something is unclear to you.

Hisoka: Everyone in our department goes out to have tea and drinks together too.

Tsumugi: If you’re interested, then definitely join us. Even if you end up joining a different department, please don’t hesitate to call out to us as we’ll consult with you or lend you a hand anytime.

Izumi: Right, thank you very much! (Everyone’s so amazing…!) (I wonder if I’ll be able to contribute much in this company that’s full of such impressive people…?)

Tsumugi: Huh?

Tasuku: It looks like a fluorescent light is about to go out.

Izumi: ? I hear the sound of footsteps all of a sudden...

Mizuno: …!

---

previous | next

#a3! #a3! translation #mizuno kaya #act! addict! actors! #autumn troupe #winter troupe

[martian-martian-martian]

Looking athe world today it boggles the mind, like-

How the fuck can republicans go around thinking that cool shit in media, especially gay or alt media, is for them??

Paul Ryan (sorry, I mixed them up, white conservatives are interchangeable) liking RATM is just the tip of the iceberg.

All these insane people who tried to cance Lil Nas or Lady Gaga or whoever for being “too political” like???

I’m seeing “gay republicans” boycotting Falsettos because of Bill Finn’s song “Republicans” and I’m like-

You know Reagan pretty much caused the AIDS crisis to become what it was right?

How can republicans listen to punk music or watch fucking ‘Get Out’ or John Waters movies and be so ignorant that they don’t know that everyone involved with the production of the content hates their stinking guts

Get it through your fat sponge cake brains:

Art, real art, is not not ever has been the medium of conservatives.

Y’all can have Kid Rock and those ugly ass paintings of boats and landscapes in thrift stores.

The majority of modern music, visual arts, and pop cultures has been originated, built, sustained, and innovated by the minorities.

Black people, Muslims, Jews, Immigrants, Queer people, Trans people, disabled and neurodivergent people.

Minorities that Conservatives and Republicans continue to disenfranchise.

#falsettos #socialism #republicans #gay republicans #conservatives