#But seeing that his quest ends with him finally making a decision solely for himself felt very appropriate | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

coveholdenmyluv · 4 months

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R. Braun - Honey Soaked Promises

synopsis. In which you reminisce on your quest for revenge, irrigated with broken promises and fermented with betrayal, allowing you to act as the judge between life or death for yourself and the viper dressed in the skin of the love of your life.

— or alternatively, in which you make the stupid decision to fall in love with the wrong person on your journey to freedom...

Oh well, you'll just have to kill him now.

series masterlist

chapter warnings. slight manga/ending spoilers, foreshadowing, fluff

chapter synopsis. During your very first look into your past, you plan your escape from your personal hell with Stefan and Cielo. Was that your biggest mistake yet?

I| Trepidation. 10.5k words.

"You ain't gonna die, you sappy girl, I won't let him harm you both. I promise, no bullets will be goin' into either of your heads."

Oh, Stefan. He always keeps his promises… Can you?

Honey; such a sweet and savory essence. Seemingly everlasting on the tongue, for even if doused in a reservoir, the stubborn residuum remains.

Honey is entirely what you descried, from the age of ten to however much longer the gods above will allow your heart to beat. It's all you ever saw and all you ever want to see; you realize.

Honey is what you see right now. His eyes, albeit drained and tainted with Titan marks, stare directly into your own. They beg and plead for you to save yourself, for he could not bear to let the sole person that kept him from ending his own life, depart from this cruel world. Because as cruel and bloodcurdling as it may be, the world can be beautiful and altruistic. He's seen it himself. And he knows, he can feel that all the war and carnage will soon come to an end. Scars, emotional and physical, will remain but allow for mending and tranquility. He wants that, yearns to finally conclude the great torment that he's endured since childhood but more than anything, he wishes that for you.

He wants you to let go, and the irony isn't lost in him as he recalls the fact of how laboriously he prayed for anything but that, just four years in the past. He knows that you haven't had the courage to, that you've held onto every memory, every feeling and every touch you've shared with each other, no matter how hard you tried for the opposite. He knows because he too has clutched them just as close. The only difference was that unlike yourself, he never once attempted or even wanted to forget.

So as you hang upside down, with one hand grasping his tighter than ever before, your fingers reminiscent of interlacing threads of fate. Your tresses falling into view and drifting in every which direction the wind sways it, and the wire that tethers you to the enormous bones that assemble Eren Jaeger's final Titan, straining. You realize that you're being given a choice.

Will you let go of the only man you've ever truly loved? That man that has been the core cause of the vast anguish that has plagued not only your life but the lives of those you adore dearly and leave a place for inside of your heart. The man with cavernous honeysuckle pools for eyes and short but soft sandy blonde strands of hair. The only man you've ever kissed.

The only man you ever want to kiss.

Or will you let yourself fall with him? Fall into the depths of you don't even know what it is that you'd fall into; all you know is that you'd be falling with him. Sink into his arms before the angel of death embraced you both just as tightly.

Will you let go or will you fall with him?

But before you make that choice, let's take a look at the journey that has lead you to this very moment, shall we?

Year 845, The Underground City.

The second underground city located within the interior of Wall Maria, or more specifically, beneath. A crowded old city where the rats laid, never to catch sight of or feel the burn of the suns rays or the fresh breeze carding through their hair. Buildings stacked upon buildings and the only source of light being fire, whether originating from lanterns or arbitrary flames ensued by citizens in their fits of rage.

You could've considered it a tight knit community wherein everyone knew of everyone. Some would greet in passing and some simply wouldn't. It was not abnormal to see brawls on the cobblestone streets, it's not as if anyone was there to put a stop to them.

Otherwise, known as home.

Being so close to the outer wall and underground seemed to have deemed the population a lost cause in the eyes of authority, if any, in the underground.

You couldn't have fretted over that fact too much. It's what had allowed you to live as long as you did, in the absence of parental figures. The only person that even came close to a caregiver, was Stefan.

Twelve year old Stefan, whose face was embellished with radiant forest green pearls and shaggy, dirty blonde hair that caressed his forehead. He too was in the absence of parental guidance and resorted to taking the burden upon himself.

The burden of raising six year old, Cielo. A pale skinned boy with a small button nose, deep mercury eyes, and equally as dark hair that was a black bordering blue.

Along with ten year old you. With short, blunt, H/C hair that had barely reached the lobes of your ears. The older boy had the idea of sustaining your short length due to the hassle that maintaining proper care for your soft tufts, came with for everyone involved, considering your living situation. Every month there was to be a day dedicated to Stefan, being the only one trusted, to wield his blade and put it to proper use on all three of you.

That is where your story began. In the abandoned building you used as a safeguard for as early as you could remember. Sat in an old and creepy wooden chair that Cielo had spotted on the outskirts, not too long before that day. A makeshift mirror was before you, consisting of jagged pieces of broken glass that Stefan had somehow assembled. How he always managed to scavenge a way to make things work in your favor was beyond you.

No matter the situation, Stefan had a solution. You wished to any unknown god, if there was one, that you in some way or shape or form had taken after him. That Cielo had seen you even in the slightest light, the same as you had gazed at Stefan.

"Why're you starin' at me, ya creep?" Came Stefan's silken but teasing voice. The corner of his lips was upturned to convey his failure in masking his amusement.

His question had effectively pulled you from your dream like stare. You wondered how he even knew of your unwavering eyes, for he hadn't given you a spare glance. "'M not staring at you, I was looking at the terrible job you're doing today." You had lied, obviously, all the while hastily shifting your head towards the ground in an effort to hide your embarrassment of being caught in the act of exactly what you had denied.

A loud hiss came from behind you, presumably emitted by the blonde, "I told ya not to move, idiot!" He exclaimed as he crouched on the ground and clutched his palm to his chest.

The millisecond his knees hit the cold ground, you were beside him in a panic, "Shit, I'm so sorry Stef! I swear, I didn't mean to! Do you need me to grab something to clean you off-" A muffled snort cut your hysteria short. You hadn't previously paid it heed but his body was shaking from the struggle to retain his quiet giggles.

He was fucking with you.

"I hate you." -you didn't mean that.

"You don't mean that," He stated as he lifted his head and allowed you to see how flushed his cheeks had grown from the strain he endured in order to fool you. "That should teach you to stay still while I have a knife in my hand."

"Whatever. Are ya done, or are you gonna take another two hundred years ruining my hair?"

He stood and mussed your head, causing your hair to grow more tortuous than it had already been from the way he had repeatedly combed his slender fingers through it during the chopping process. "Perfection takes time, and I think I'm as perfect as it gets when comin' to making you look like a little boy. But yes, I'm done." He satirized.

Mimicking his signature accent, you quipped, "Gee thanks, ya want me ta get Ciel' now or are ya gonna let the poor fella sleep in a while longer?" You pointed a small finger to the petite boy snoozing in the corner of the room. He was leaned against the wall with Stefan's jacket thrown over his form for comfort. Finding the abandoned building and being allowed to stay was a miracle in of itself, so you never fretted over not owning any sort of bed or bedding.

"Nah, if I don't wake him now he won't want to sleep through the night. Why don't cha' go and see if you can snag us some dinner? Anythin' will do for today, s'long we eat somethin'." He said, ignoring your attempt at mocking him in favor of gliding over to the boy in topic.

"Kay, I'll be back in a bit. I'll see if I can get us some bread this time!" You exclaimed, already having the door swung open.

"You be careful now. If your bum ain't back in twenty, I'll drag you back m'self." He warned as he referred to your habit of conjuring trouble with, anyone really. Well, more trouble than thieving already placed you in.

"Alright, promise I'll be careful." You reassured as you waltzed out into the street and shut the door.

You began your journey into the center of the city, not too far from home, pulling your brown hood over your head. Stefan had encountered the sweater somewhere, when he was on a previous supply run. It hung off your body too loosely then, but you had begun to fill it well.

From the minuscule amount of memories you had gathered at that point in your life, you concluded that Stefan and you had found each other when you were about Cielo's age; just a year younger and Stefan two years older.

He had lived with his dad before he was murdered by Military Police once they found him attempting to escape to the surface. Why the military police were roaming the city was unknown to you at the time, but they'd always seemed to show themselves when they were needed the least. Stefan's father never planned on taking him along, he planned on leaving his seven year old son to rot whilst he got to live out his fantasies. You couldn't recall Stefan ever speaking about it. The only words he would utter were 'good riddance', but you knew it affected him more than he led on. You'd caught him crying on some nights, and unfortunately there wasn't much you thought you could do. So you simply allowed him to hold you while you pretended you were still asleep.

Two years after you two had decided to stick together, three year old Cielo had quite literally ran into you both as you were on your way back home from gathering dinner. He was wailing hysterically and frantically pointed to the small building he had called home.

You had seen him in passing before, and while he always stuck close to his mother, he never failed to wave back at you two. When you arrived at his home, you had already guessed what you would find before you even opened the door. The air reeked of death, more than usual, and you wondered just how long little Cielo had endured living with a dead mother. It was a miracle he hadn't caught whatever it was that had stolen her life but that never mattered to the small boy. His sweet mother was gone and didn't seem to ever be returning.

He moved in that day and while he had always been the quiet type, after that incident he hadn't uttered a single word. You had longed for the day he would allow you to hear his soft voice again, and it pained both you and Stefan that he had to experience such trauma so young.

That wasn't to say he was all gloomy either. The boy would still be seen smiling and if you looked real close, at times you swore you could see a teasing grin on his face when he'd done something mischievous, like hiding Stefan's shoes.

They were all you knew. You had no memory of any parent or family. All you could recall was wandering alone until you had found Stefan. He had insisted you pick out your own name.

You formed your own found family. Stefan was the reliable oldest child, you were the curious one that had no qualms with starting or ending fights with the people that aimed to wrong you or the boys, and Cielo was the baby brother who stuck to you two like glue.

You were content... mostly. Theonly addition you could've thought to wish for was-

Sharp chirping had snapped you out of your stupor. Letting your ears guide your irises, you noticed a tiny winged friend had been trying to garner your attention.

Brows furrowing, you thought to yourself, 'What's a bird doing here in the underground?'

Squatting to the ground, you reached a hesitant hand out to the young animal. It didn't cower in fear, so in return, you didn't withdraw. You can still remember how velvety their feathers had felt on the pads of your fingers. Placing it onto your palm, you noticed it was missing a leg, the singular one twitching in your hand. Nothing seemed wrong with the wings so you had wondered why it didn't make use of them to flee.

You knew that if you had attained wings, you would have escaped your pit of hell and never looked back.

That was a lie. You'd do so, but only to procure a certain pair of boys.

"What's wrong, hun?" You spoke gently, "You don't seem afraid, so why don't I take you back with me? Show you to Ciel, I bet he'd like that." You grinned softly.

The bird made no objections, so you placed your new friend in the confines of your pocket, made sure they didn't suffocate and quickly continued your way to the center of the city where the stalls had stood. To any other person who had walked by, it looked as though you were simply taking a leisurely stroll. What they had failed to realize was that you had swiftly swiped a couple of stale loafs of bread, along with a few apples.

What you had failed to realize was that you had done that far too many times for the stall runners not to be familiar with your game of 'catch me if you can'.

"Don't try to be sneaky kid, I saw that! You better be planning on paying for those!" The man hollered.

You took that as your cue to book it before he could've begun to chase you.

Once you had arrived at your home and entered the building, you saw Cielo perched on the seat you had previously occupied. Stefan's jacket was still wrapped around his form, and his eyes were droopy as if he still hadn't fully awoken.

"Back so soon? Aw, did'ja miss me that bad?" Stefan had drawled from behind the ravenette.

"Stef, shut it for once and look!" You squealed as you bounded up to the two boys, hand retrieving the animal that rested in your sweater pocket.

"The hell is that?"

"A bird, you idiot. I found it on my way to get dinner!" Your statement had piqued Cielo's interest and caused him to hop off the chair to take a look into your hand.

Gesturing dubiously to the animal in your palm, Stefan conveyed his thoughts, "Y'know, when I said dinner... I meant somethin' we didn't have'ta cook, right?"

Eyeing the sharp weapon in his grasp that he had gestured with, you scolded, "Careful with that, Stefanie," you teased him with the nickname you knew he hated, "and don't be stupid, I brought bread and apples for dinner." You retorted.

"Ew, don't call me that, you nuisance."

"Look, Ciel. It's a baby bird. Tiny, just like you." You told the boy as you brought it to his eye level with one hand and booped his nose with the other.

Cielo's eyes had sparkled like a million different crystals as he took in the appearance of a bird. He had firstly admired the feathers and beak, hesitatingly reaching a small finger to its head, allowing it to slide down the slope as silk morphed into the bill. As they made contact, Cielo's eyes had begun to grow misty and his lower lip trembled.

Alarmed, you retracted the animal from his sight and begun to panic, "What's wrong, Ciel? Why're you crying? Did it hurt your finger? Let me see." You said and hastily grabbed his finger to inspect.

"Great, now ya made baby Ciel cry. Nice goin', N/N." Stefan scolded lightheartedly. It was quite obvious to him why Cielo had begun to cry but he could tell that you hadn't caught on just yet.

Turning to glance at the blonde, you defended yourself, "I-I didn't mean to, I swear it!" Focusing your attention back onto the boy before you, you offered, "I'll take the thing out if that's what you want, Ciel. I promise."

The child simply shook his head quickly and rapidly blinked in an attempt to dispel his tears. It didn't work. He reached for the bird and cradled it in his small hands, gazing at it with a fond smile as brand new tears dribbled down his chubby cheeks.

Stefan knelt beside him and placed a hand atop his shoulder, "I don't think those tears mean what ya think they do, N/N." he uttered.

"Hm? Why else would he be crying?" You inquired.

"My guess? They're happy tears." He explained, a soft smile peeking at the main attraction in the younger boys hands.

"Happy... tears?" You repeated, the words had felt foreign as they slipped off of your tongue.

"Mhm, now I wonder why such a free thing like this one would show up here of all places. 'S it hurt?" He asked and you shook your head in response. "Hm, weird. I reckon this lil' guy is yearnin' to go on home. Out onto the surface, that is." He stated as he stood back up.

Cielo's eyes had widened dramatically and he placed the bird gently back into your hold. Latching onto the taller boys sleeve, he had begun to hop frantically.

"Nuh-uh, I know what yer tryna say and the answer is and will always be, no. We're not goin' to the surface, baby Ciel." Stefan said sternly, his head only furthered his point as he shook it.

"The surface? You want to go to the surface, Ciel?" You'd beamed, heart accelerating at the mere thought. The boy bobbed his head enthusiastically as the twinkle in his eyes grew so intense, you almost shielded your own at the sight. His smile had been huge and scintillating.

You remembered that you had asked yourself, 'Is this what the people on the surface feel when they look at the sun?'

"Y'knowhow I feel about that, Y/N, don't ya dare encourage him." Stefan reminded and you knew immediately what he referred to.

It wasn't that Stefan hadn't dreamt of journeying to the land above, everyone down there did. The difference with Stefan, was that that dream was forever tainted by the mistakes of his father.

"You know, I heard about some people from the first underground city that escaped and got to the surface. Apparently they joined the military or something? Anyway, I bet they're enjoying the sun right now." You informed him softly, before you gently nudged your shoulder with his and continued, "Planting flowers?" You said pointedly, knowing the boys fascination with the blossoms.

In the scarce amount of books you were able to acquire, the way in which Stefan's eyes would linger and brighten when you read or admired pictures of anything floral, never escaped you. He was nowhere near an expert on chrysanthemums, dahlias or anything of the like but that didn't mean his enchantment was any less impassioned.

"Oh yeah? Good for them. Unfortunately, we aren't as lucky. As much fun as that sounds, it's way too risky. If the bird doesn't go back on its own, then I'm afraid it'll have to stay with us for the time bein'. "

Cielo's eyes grew with worry and he gestured to the animal still in your hands. "Ciel is right, it'll die down here, Stef!" You pleaded.

You had never actually believed that it would, it was simply an excuse to allow Stefan to spare another thought about venturing outside. You knew that, Cielo knew that, and Stefan knew that. Still, as weak as the excuse was, it was enough to force the boy to ponder.

"Even if we would, how would we even do such a thing?" He asked exasperatedly. As much as he had loathed the idea, that didn't mean he didn't want to step foot on the surface. He had wished for it more than anything. Dead father be damned, his heart yearned to take you both to see the sun set and the moon light the sky.

"The supply carts! They always come around midnight, and once they arrive, the guards switch shifts. Maybe we can find an opening and hitch a ride out of here!"

"That sounds way too easy. I'm sure the guards expect people to do exactly that, so I doubt they'd be so lenient. They probably double check the carts for stowaways." He explained as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Except, the guards that work the supply carts are the same ones that have run them for years. No one has escaped since I can remember, everyone has given up. Those guards are lazy and hate their jobs, I doubt they properly double check. But even if they did, we could bring something to cover ourselves with. It's a foul proof plan Stef, c'mon!"

It wasn't a foul proof plan. It was full of flaws and risks. Anyone with a right mind in their head could tell so. But you were a kid, so that fact was lost on you. And unfortunately for the three of you, Stefan was also a kid. No matter how wise the boy may have been, Stefan was twelve years old. A traumatized little boy with a grand amount of baggage on his shoulders and a curious heart in his chest. So the mere possibility of escaping his very own prison, blinded him of the fact that maybe it wasn't such a good idea, but instead, a life altering cataclysm.

Curiosity killed the cat.

The blanket of silence fell over you three, uncomfortably- for different reasons. It felt uncomfortable for you and Cielo because you could almost see the way Stefan's mind had gone haywire as he mulled over your proposition. It felt uncomfortable for Stefan, because now that the excuse of escaping had presented itself, he felt even more trapped than before. Restricted in his own body.

"...We're gonna need a big blanket."

That night was a rare one, where the citizens of the underground gathered and celebrated. What is it that they had celebrated? You never knew. In all honesty, the gathering was most likely a made up bash by your people, to give each other something to look forward to. You never minded, of course. Those nights were usually in such disorder that the three of you wound up taking from stalls that were left unattended or gambling on the outcome of random fights that would unravel. It was nights like those that you were blessed enough to witness humans in their intended nature. You gazed at more smiles than any other nights combined.

Contradictorily, that night, you used the commotion as a distraction to board the carts that went up and down the entrance of the city. Stefan had miraculously acquired a blanket that was made up of stitched together cloths, to be used as a cover. The carts had arrived at midnight, as usual, and took a couple of hours to unload. It was almost daybreak which meant that the carts were to soon take off.

Stefan and Cielo were given the task of watching your six as you proceeded with your mission of initiating a distraction. In addition to the cover, Stefan had also gotten his hands on a sweater that he designated to Cielo. It had oversized pocket holes with the intention of allowing your bird to stay hidden within the journey.

After you detected Stefan's signal, informing you that the carts were good to go, you took action.

The center of the city was fully crowded with people idly standing and chatting, sitting and eating and others aimlessly exploring. You had waltzed up to a stall cluttered with buyers, inconspicuously slipping through the groups. As you drew closer, your nose gradually caught an indescribable and inescapable essence that it had never before encountered. There were so many things unknown to you during that stage of your life, countless questions unanswered, but the second you caught a whiff of that stubborn scent, it was the only thing your mind knew.

You were sure it was something that could've only been sold on nights like those and even then, most citizens wouldn't have been able to afford the enigma. The shorter the distance between your body and the stall supplying your hyper-fixation, the stronger it gripped your lungs. It engulfed you, suffocated you in a way you found that you didn't mind.

Addicting.

You stuck close to the man in front of you who was leisurely strolling by. In one swift motion, you swiped two bottles of the sweet nectar you became enamored with and gently placed one inside of the man's pocket, doing the same to the other one for yourself. Then, came the easy part.

Drawing in a large breath of air, you yelled at the top of your lungs, "Ooh, he's stealing! He's selling the sweet stuff this guy is selling!"

Simultaneously, gasps erupted from within the crowds and the man in charge of the stall had begun to berate the man that was accused. Standing his ground, the man didn't simply take the insults and begun to defend his honor.

It didn't take long for a brawl to break through with random people who weren't even involved, joining. You would've loved to stay and watch till the end but that was the exact opposite of your goal.

Fleeing in the direction of your escape route, a decent amount of men in Military Police uniforms had slipped by you in an effort to quell the commotion. You thanked your past self, of five minutes, for choosing a particularly sturdy man that could defend himself or else you would've felt poor for him.

You caught up to Stefan who held Cielo in his arms and began to sprint as fast as your short legs could take you. "Do you think that'll be enough?" You asked through a series of pants.

"Let's hope so." Stefan replied, equally as breathless.

The carts were near the entrance of the city so it was inevitable that the path towards it was slightly steep. Just as you had hoped, most of the guards had fled to aid in yielding the tussle that had enacted further into the settlement.

Without a word, Stefan aided Cielo in climbing into one of the front carts and then quickly hopped in after, cradling the boy to his chest. You joined them both, lifting one leg after the other but as you did so, your foot had gotten caught in one of the handles, creating a loud bang.

The sound was not monstrous enough that the citizens within the plaza would pay any heed but enough that if there were any guards near, the noise would not be disregard-able.

Unfortunately for you, there were.

The look Stefan had given you demanded of you to keep moving and get in.

Regardless of your anxiety sky rocketing, you leapt inside and placed yourself between one of the walls of the cart and Cielo. All of the carts had a slidable door, so with trembling hands, you slowly shut the top, enclosing the three of you into the tight space. Stefan had placed the blanket over your trio and clutched the sleeve of your sweater subconsciously. He was nervous, rightfully so, and so were you and Cielo.

Your slip up that had occurred just a couple of seconds before, had caused two of the soldiers that were set to keep guard to trek back towards the entrance to confirm that there were no problems. You heard each of their footsteps as they investigated but in the end, it had yielded nothing.

That was until the small bird in Cielo's pocket had begun to chirp, ear-piercing squeaks.

"The fuck is wrong with her?" Stefan had whispered harshly. You were surrounded by darkness so you never knew who exactly he was looking at, but you knew he was genuinely asking, the stress was what had brought the edge to his voice.

"I don't know. Cielo isn't smushing her or anything, she might be afraid of the dark?" You answered, and since none of you had any idea of what to do next, you simply awaited the moment she would settle.

A man, who you assumed was a guard, had slurred, "What's with the noise? 'S that a bird?" You could tell he had most likely helped himself to the cheap alcohol on the streets, the inebriation had been clear within his voice.

"I don't know, let me double check inside the carts and make sure we didn't trap one. Don't know what it'd be doing all the way down here though." Said another man, that one definitely had not slurred.

You heard the lids of other carts being slid open, one by one, and had begun to panic. Your heart beat could be heard pounding through your ears and though it was most probable just your imagination, you swore you heard two more rhythms beating in sync.

"Shit. They're gonna find us, we're so dead." You whispered to no one in particular.

"Let's just keep quiet and stay put. She's quieting down now, so hopefully he'll leave-" Stefan began, but came to a screeching halt when your cart lid began to part.

Light had entered through the sheet over you and allowed you to view the panicked expressions engraved into both of the boys before you. Cielo's mercury eyes were misted over and Stefan's emeralds were as wide as saucers. His hand was clutched into the pocket that you knew he had kept his blade in, and you begged with your own eyes to wait. Not yet. You still held onto hope that the man would overlook you and carry on.

But then the sheet draped atop your forms was slowly peeled away and you were met with a man that sported a dark head of hair, styled in an almost mullet and paired with an aspiring mustache and goatee. Your breath halted as your eyes met his, as if that would make you invisible.

He had slid his dark eyes to Stefan next, the boy only gradually slid his hand to clutch you protectively, effectively squishing the younger boy between you two, in the process.

His charcoal irises met Cielo next and you had seen them soften the slightest bit for the boy. He had his back to Stefan and was squeezing you for dear life. Dusky eyes glazed with fear, bottom lip quivering and the tiny bird one of his hands as he cradled it to his chest. His mouth ceaselessly shaping the word 'please' onto his lips.

The atmosphere was static for about ten seconds, each one torturous. Tendrils of fear creeped into your lungs, effectively cropping your quickened breaths that threatened to escape your throat as you awaited the fated reaction from the man who held a long gun in his right hand.

"Did'ya find it?" Slurred the other soldier once more. He seemed father in distance than the one you had a staring contest with. The soldier hesitated, mouth gaping and shutting repeatedly.

"...Yeah. It's just a bird, I'll dispose of it once we get back up." He announced and slid the top closed once again.

Not a single soul moved a muscle for a long minute after that and you were unsure if it was in disbelief or simply because you were all still scared shitless.

"...what the hell..." Stefan found the strength to whisper, his blonde hair mending with his forehead as it clung with the perspiration that had been caused by his nerves.

"He didn't snitch..." You whispered in astonishment.

"He didn't... we are some lucky sons of bitches, N/N. I hope you know that. Someone from beyond is lookin' out for us."

"Don't get your hopes up, we're not out of the forest yet. H-he might want to deal with us once we get to the surface. Let's just wait it out for now." You suggested, tremble clear within your voice.

"Right." He agreed, before you heard the shuffling of clothes and he continued, "You alright, baby Cielo?" He whispered softly to the child in his arms. You felt him nod his head lightly before burying it further into your chest.

The cart jerked suddenly before it began to move and up they proceeded, one by one. The organ nestled into your chest felt as though it had been replaced with a jackhammer.

"Oh my gosh, Stef- I'm so nervous." You informed him as you squeezed your eyes shut.

"I know, don't worry-"

"This is actually happening, what if he kills us-"

"I won't let him-"

"If he does end up putting a bullet in our heads, I want you to know that I love you."

"I- er. Well, really? I love you too-"

"You and Cielo are my family, I love you both more than anything-"

"We know, love.-"

"I'm a snide piece of shit sometimes, but I'm so sorry that I convinced you to do this-"

"No, you never-"

"I mean if you think about it, if I never found the bird that day, Cielo wouldn't have had the thought of escaping in his mind-"

Your adamant rambling had gotten caught in your throat as you felt your fingers being interlaced. Warm digits carded themselves through the gaps between your own, a gentle squeeze being pressed into your palm. In milliseconds, your mind was quelled and a soft exhale escaped your lips.

"I'm sorry." Your voice was barely audible.

"You have nothin' to be sorry bout." He reassured you as gently as he could. There was no hesitance or shake in his statement, he genuinely believed that fact.

"If we do die, I'm glad that the last thing I'll see, will probably be your faces." Although you were enveloped in darkness, you still allowed yourself to gift a soft smile in the vague direction of both boys.

"You ain't gonna die, you sappy girl, I won't let him harm you both. I promise, no bullets will be goin' into either of your heads."

"You can't promise that."

"I just did."

Stefan had a knack for leaving you speechless. "...thank you."

That sentiment was heavily reciprocated. "...shut up."

The entire ride took a whole ten minutes to complete, and since you had infiltrated a cart towards the front, it was one of the first to arrive.

Footsteps approaching rapidly reached your ears and then the cart lid was swung open. The blanket that shielded you from the world was thrown off of you and your eyes took their time to adjust to the altered lighting, but soon enough, you saw him. The same soldier from before, donning the tan jacket with the green stallion emblem plastered on his left chest pocket. The only difference was that he had his gun aimed directly at your trio.

His expression was intense and his body seemed rigid as he ordered, "Get out now. Run and don't look back. Get to a nearby city or village and don't tell anyone where you're from just yet. Wait a couple years to do so and never come back again." His brows met in the middle of his face as he further took in your appearances. "You guys are so small... what the hell? Where are your parents?!" He inquired.

"W-we're orphans." Stefan informed him and it surprised you that he had stuttered. It was then that you noticed he had already sat up and spread his arms to block both you and Cielo from the guns barrel.

"...go. You never met me, got it?"

"Yes, sir." You both replied in unison.

Stefan was the first to spring into action, hopping out of the cart and hoisting Cielo to his side promptly after. You wasted no time to follow and landed on the earth with a thud. Stefan didn't hesitate to take the soldier's advice, taking your hand in his left and Cielo in his right arm before breaking into a sprint in the first direction he turned to.

Your head had begun to pound, probably from the sun that had risen in the sky by then, and your lungs in-took as much oxygen as they could handle. Imagine your surprise when the air around you didn't taste stale and humid but instead as if you were drinking freshly fetched water. As you were running, the scenery encircling your form began to decelerate. Your eyes absorbed every defining detail that they could hold.

The glistening green grass, the scorching rays of sunlight that drew its claws into your skin, the prodigious trees in the distance. They seemed almost unnatural to you, with flowers blooming in between every leaf that protruded from within the ragged intwined branches.

Those leaves, they reminded you of Stefan's eyes.

The air felt significantly fuller out in the surface, it filled your nostrils and you found that there existed no scenario in which you could get enough. Your lips parted in your heaving and whether that was in result of your physical strain or your enchantment with the ventilation didn't matter. You felt as though you had taken your first sip of water in the midst of a drought.

You vision began to turn blurry. A side effect from the difference in environment, perhaps? No. Your eyes were wet with the tears dribbling down your face before you could even register their presence. But you weren't sad- no, anything but that. Those tears had felt amazing, as if they held the key that liberated your soul.

'So, these are happy tears?'

You craved for more.

And then a flash of blue entered your peripheral. It was different from the one that had painted the canvas above you.

Sapphire blue wings, but they were not alike the small bird that was cradled into Cielo's chest. Those wings lacked feathers and looked smooth to the touch. It crossed your mind that it had to be an insect, being that it was smaller than any bird you had read about. It swayed with the wind and was what you could only describe as beautiful with the beauty that left its mark on the mind of every and any being that had the blessing of gazing upon it.

It soared and it fluttered, and you found yourself wishing to be even the slightest bit as ethereal and unrestricted as that small being had been.

"Wow... so this is the surface..." You uttered in the most lightest voice that Stefan had ever heard.

He directed his head towards you, hand still grasping your own, with the intention of stealing a quick glance. He really should've known better. It was never only a quick glance when it came to you. Inevitably, he found himself with the compulsion of the inability to detach his irises from your delicate face.

That smile was the most irradiant and prodigious he had ever seen dance across your lips. You were crying, but he knew it was not a matter of pain. How could it be, when your eyes whispered a completely different synopsis?

You were gazing through the expanse field and his heart hurled him through a flurry of individual emotions in a matter of seconds.

Bliss, excitement, contentment and love.

He adored your expression so much so, it forced him to have sought out what it was that had driven you to that high you were riding. And then he saw it too, every detail sunk into his hippocampus just as they did in yours. The glistening green grass, the scorching rays of sunlight that drew its claws into his skin, and the almost unnatural prodigious trees in the distance with flowers blooming in between every leaf that protruded from within the ragged intwined branches. And the butterfly.

'Oh, that butterfly.' His voice cooed within the confines of his own mind.

It was the second most beautiful thing he had laid his eyes upon, and seeing it so carefree and selfish allowed himself to picture his youngest self finally breaking the bars that made up the cage he enclosed himself in, deep in the pits of his soul. He too found his eyesight becoming blurry.

Those mesmerizing green eyes grew glassy, reflecting his most favorite scenery.

He directed his attention towards the boy in his arms, there sat the first most beautiful sight the world had offered him. Cielo's smile.

Cielo's gigantic grin that enveloped his face, only being rivaled by your own. Both of those expressions he had appointed as the most paradisical he had ever seen, and he had gazed upon them one after the other in a span of seconds.

Then you both had stared at Cielo. Baby Cielo's face that radiated bliss. His dark hair had gotten messier by the second with the wind carding its delicate fingers through his fluffy locks, caressing every crevice of his face, every nook and cranny. The sunshine bouncing off of his pale skin and making it seem as if he was glowing. His once deep mercury eyes almost mimicking a navy blue, and you wondered if they had always been that color.

The small boy shifted those eyes to the even smaller bird that laid in his hands, lifting it into the air ever so slightly. The animal immediately responded with rapidly flapping its wings, an action that startled the boy, but had not thwarted his advance at lifting it up even higher, encouraging the bird to take off into the vast empyrean sky. And it did, effectively causing boyish giggles to erupt from within Cielo's lips as he had found his new favorite color.

And oh, he couldn't believe his eyes. There were clouds, so many of them. They looked so soft that he found himself wanting to touch them, lay in them, and wrap himself in the fluffy substance. His arms outstretched and he felt as though he had been so near; just a hop away and they'd meet his stubby fingers.

Stefan leaped, to Cielo's surprise. He wondered to himself if the older boy had mind powers or anything of the sort.

Nevertheless, his fingers never met the clouds but he couldn't care less. Not when he was so blissful. Not when both the people he adored most in the world were just an arms length away and had worn those enchanting expressions. And they were laughing, hypnotic sounds that he fell in love with because it was the very first time they had ever laughed like that. As he always had and always would, he followed their lead and joined in the giggle fit.

It'd been a beautiful seen really, full with contentment and carelessness.

You had run for about twenty minutes straight by the time Stefan had informed you about a settlement nearby that a friend from the underground had told him about. He told you it had not been too far from where you where at, so a short break would be fine. He placed Cielo gently onto the ground while you both caught your breaths. Your calf muscles burned and ached but for some reason, you didn't dislike that feeling paired with the blaze in your lungs. Running was fun to you. No one had spoken yet and the only sound that was heard was the in sync heaves both you and Stefan dealt.

Until Cielo burst into another hackle of giggles and began to race through the grassy field you stood upon. His little legs had taken him in a such a rush, you had begun to worry because it almost seemed as if-

...he fell face first onto the ground.

"Cielo!" Came both of your voices in unison.

But instead of the wailing you had expected, his cries of joy grew louder as he flipped onto his back and began to roll around on the grass.

Hesitantly you asked, "Cielo... what are you doing, love?" But he paid no heed and continued to cackle like a madman. Or boy. That was the closest you had gotten to hearing his actual voice, so you complained no further.

The boy then abruptly sat up and brushed his palms against the dewy blades of grass with a satisfied expression that spoke words worth a millennia. Dragging his gaze up towards his favorite people, he patted the empty spots beside him, encouraging you both to take them. Of course, you obliged without a second thought.

As you took the seat to his right and Stefan to his left, you mimicked Cielo's earlier actions and glided your small hands over the velvety blades. A thud came from next to you, emitted by Cielo throwing the rest of his body back onto the grass. It was only then that you realized what he wanted.

Something so simple yet so Cielo of him to want to do. He just wished to enjoy the moment with you. And so you too plopped yourself into the grass next to him, Stefan followed after. Twisting your neck to face both boys, you found something obstructing your view. It was dainty and dewy, much like the green blades encircling it, with purple petals that glistened and swayed with the breeze.

A flower.

It was only then that you noticed the abundance of them on the field you laid on. Each one a vibrant periwinkle shade. The sight caused you to flip onto your tummy and lay your head to rest on one of your arms, the other had reached out to caress the silky petals.

Unbeknownst to you, Stefan watched on with the most softest expression one could give another. One exuding adoration and love. He then quietly scanned the grass around him and plucked the first stray flower he found, taking a couple of seconds for himself to gaze at it admirably.

In one slow motion, he reached over Cielo's body and tucked away the short strands of hair behind your ears, any that were long enough at the time. Then, he gently placed the delicate flower right along with them, sitting back and admiring his work when the deed had been done.

The loving gesture wasn't lost on you and your eyes had quickly found themselves attempting to catch a glimpse at the fragile plant nestled behind your ear. After you realized that you wouldn't be able to, you opted to instead move your eyes to the older boy that was now within your range of vision. Green and purple would compliment each other beautifully, wouldn't they?

Plucking your own violet treasure from the ground beneath you, before you gifted it to the boy, you decided to place a sweet kiss atop the corolla. Since you had both sat up at the point, the nimble flowers journey to its rightful place behind his ear used little to no effort.

As you sat back and admired each others work, it was as though the sole reason they had sprouted was for that exact moment. Minds working in sync, you both looked to the boy between you who gazed back with a fond smile. In unison, you searched for another pair of blossoms before placing kisses atop the supple petals and tucking them both behind the younger boys' ears. Yours on the right and Stefan's on his left.

Once they had both been placed in their rightful places, you both drew back and glanced at Cielo's expression, surprisingly finding the fat of cheeks painted a baby pink.

Slowly, as your mind digested that fact, your felt your own warmth spread across the bridge of your nose, only stopping short of your ears.

As if having a domino effect, Stefan's skin followed directly after your own.

And so, you sat with warm cheeks and flowers behind your ears with the only two boys you had ever known, feeling as though you were the only three people who ever existed, heart feeling full at the thought.

But of course, gaining a taste of freedom always seemed to make one drunk with pleasure therefore craving for as much as they could get their greedy hands on. Give an addict an inch and they'll yearn for a mile.

So as the sun had set and you threw yourself back onto the ground after an intense game of tag, with your chests heaving and the flowers you took such care to place having long since fallen back onto the earth where they came from, the conversation that would soon become your core drive throughout your pre-teen and teenage years, began.

"What kind of flowers are these?" You asked, one hand twirling a stem in between your index and thumb and the other placed as a cushion behind your head.

Stefan had taken his time to answer and that alone was your first sign that something else had been roaming around his mind. "I'll tell ya, if you promise me somethin'." He responded, eyes piercing the sky.

"What is it?" You inquired, interest being piqued.

With a dreamy sigh, he announced the thought that had plagued his mind, "Promise that one day, we'll see what's beyond the walls."

The idea had baffled you at the time, since it had never once crossed your mind of going beyond the barriers that separated you from what was unknown. "What? Why would you wanna go beyond the walls?" You asked incredulously.

"Why wouldn't-cha? If we ever get the chance to, I wanna see what lays beyond them and then after that, I wanna see what lays beyond that and then what lays beyond even that."

Exhaling in your surprise, you continued, "You mean the titans? I know we've never seen one, but that doesn't mean they suddenly stopped existing. Did you forget why the walls are even there?" It was a genuine question as your mind couldn't even begin to comprehend asking for more than what you had then.

Stefan had always been a dreamer through and through. "Well o'course I haven't forgotten and I'm sure those titans are scary as hell. But, let's pretend they weren't there, wouldn't ya wanna see what the world you were born into has to offer? Yer birthright? Like, all of it? There just has to be more out there that we haven't even begun to imagine, what if this is just the beginnin'?"

"Well yeah, but I don't know. I don't really like change and I feel like that would change a lot." You responded hesitantly.

"We're experiencing change right now and you seem to be doin' just fine." He challenged.

"That's cause you're here."

Covering his face at the flush that ensued because of your statement, he chuckled, "And I'll be right there if and when that happens, both of us will." He gestured to himself and the young boy in between you two. "Nothin' could ever split us up. We'll be the wonder trio till the end." He assured.

Humming in thought, you answered, "...I guess that wouldn't be too bad then. I wonder what's out there." Your mind had begun to race with ideas, most of which consisted of greenery and the jewels you had seen in old tattered books. "Other than titans, of course."

"Guess we'll have to find out. So, promise?" He extended his pinky towards the both of you, knowing that although Cielo still hadn't uttered a word, he wouldn't hesitate to be included.

"You haven't even told me the name of the flower, Stef. I ain't stupid." You reminded lightheartedly.

He seemed to have genuinely forgotten the exchange you agreed upon, so you didn't fret too much, "Oh, right." He uttered before he tilted his head to glance at the flowers scattered around you. "Those are bellflowers. Though their scientific name is campanulas and they signify gratitude, humility, attractiveness, and everlasting love."

They also represent disappointment and foreshadowing events, though till this day, you didn't know if Stefan had known that fact and withheld that information from you or if he truly was clueless. And if he did know, why had he kept it from you?

Giggling like the naïve child you were, you interlocked both of your fingers and awaited the third to join. "Thanks Stef, I promise."

Instead of raising his pinky finger, Cielo had decided to grant you both what you had been secretly imploring for years. "I promise." Came the smallest voice ever spoken, followed by an even tinier digit placed between your own.

Your heart skipped a beat and you halted your breath as your body entered a temporary state of torpor. A moment of silence had followed and Cielo allowed it because he knew he needed to let the action sink into your brains. He allowed his voice to marinate.

"C-cielo! You- you used your voice!" You exclaimed, finally finding your own as you sprung your torso up from within the grass and gaped at the boy below you.

In response, he simply but smugly, nodded his head.

Stefan had sat up too but instead of voicing his excitement, his wide eyes stared at him in astonishment. You would think Cielo had invented time travel with the look Stefan had given him.

"Say my name next! Come on say it!" You demanded with avidity, hands clutched together as you leaned into the young boy.

He didn't budge, opting to smile complacently, both hands now behind his head for comfort.

Breaking out of his stupor, Stefan joined in the exchange with a smirk, "Ya can't just drop that on us and expect us not to nag' ya. Come on now Ciel, say our names."

He shook his head again and forced you to resign in your attempts. It had seemed Cielo wanted to take baby steps, and that was fine with you.

"Fine, but we'll get it out of you soon. Don't expect us to let it go anytime soon. That lovely voice of yours deserves to be heard, at the very least by us." You told him with a smile, punctuating your statement with a boop to his nose.

"Mmm, yer just bein sassy with us right now, aren'tcha? Fine then, once you move out of that stage yer in, you won't wanna stop flappin' those gums to me." Even though Stefan had said it tauntingly, you didn't miss the tone in his voice that indicated how wishful of that he was. Nevertheless, he laid himself back onto the ground and began to admire the sunset, one of his lifelong dreams.

As the sun set and you watched the moon light the sky, the three of you were yet again mesmerized by the sight of what looked to be a million lanterns endlessly flickering. Even though you knew it impossible, that didn't hinder your attempt at counting every single ball of light that you saw in the canvas of navy blue. Navy blue that mirrored both Cielo's eyes and hair. Whilst pointing at certain clumps that reminded you of shapes, you soon fell into a deep slumber, still on the ground because back pain be damned, sleeping under the stars was just too good of an opportunity to pass up. Stefan had reassured you that village you planned on using as a safeguard would still be there the following day.

That night, in the form of a dream, you were shown what you assumed to be memories. To whom those memories belonged to, you weren't given a clue. All you knew was that you pitied the owner, for even the mere fraction of seconds that were bestowed upon you from which you lived through their eyes was much too heavy for your still fragile heart. Each and every snippet of the vague scenes that flashed before your eyes brought upon their very own powerful emotions. Each leaving you inundated, as if all the air had been stripped from your lungs.

A loose limb lied in a puddle of blood, dirt and cobblestone beneath it. Your cheeks had been soaked and throat sore, fingernails scratched at the ground as dirt collected underneath them and warm blood muddied on your fingertips.

The scent of a boy with disheveled light brown shaggy hair, as you rode atop a horse. Those same fingertips, now calloused, clutching the fabric he donned with a strength you'd never felt before. His welcoming aroma created a safe haven that flooded a sense of security into your chest. Despite the storm that brewed in your heart, caused by another reason unknown to you at the time, it allowed you to wrap yourself in a brief feeling of peace. That was a person with a heavy meaning in the owner's life.

Round and misty hazel eyes that seemingly reflected the world in them. Grief and despair showed themselves in wisps within their depths. The sight alone had caused your heart to sink and lip to quiver.

The one after was the most vivid, for it felt as though you could control your own movements. A sunset had doused the sky in a multitude of colors that ranged from blue, orange, red and gold; if you squinted well enough, you could see a splash of purple. Directly in front of you was what seemed to be a river, your socks discarded to the side and toes wet. There was a warm body sitting alongside you, mimicking your pose. Your cheeks had felt warm once again and you didn't know if the cause was the sun bath you experienced or something else entirely. All you knew was that you had felt prickles of bliss and tranquility within your own body, that was enough for you to yearn for just a moment longer within that headspace.

Then, soft pink lips invaded your mind in a fog. The faint taste of something sweet that you couldn't even begin to describe. Not when you were focused on steadying the rapid thumping within your chest. That had brought upon feelings that your mind couldn't even fathom existed.

A dainty white blossom that stood tall and healthy the first moment, only to appear broken and crumpled the next; cradled in one's palm. Your eyes had gotten glassier with each passing second as lachrymose had been thrusted upon you in that instant.

A gentle but strong woman with vibrant gold locks and crystal blue eyes that outshone even the jewels embedded within the crown placed atop her head. Pride is what your mind had whispered in your ears, only getting louder the longer you had stared at her. And then suddenly you were placed in front of an injured and dying man with tanned skin and mud colored hair that bordered black. His fingers were interlocked with yours as he mouthed something that you couldn't yet register. His eyes turned dull and his head lulled back against a tree.

A large body of cerulean water in your peripheral from what you could tell and there was a male in front of you, his face distorted in your vision. One of his legs had been missing but that didn't stop him from dipping the toes he had left into the depths of something unknown to you. That person had a serene aura to them, that much you could tell, and there was a lingering thought of accomplishment in your core.

A girl with a brown head of hair that teared apart a type of meat, one that you couldn't yet recognize, with her teeth. Tears cascaded down her cheeks in streams, but you recognized the look on her face. She wasn't experiencing heartache or anguish, instead, she was in pure bliss. And then in a flash, she laid on the ground in a different setting. Crimson pooled around her form and a pain you couldn't even begin to elucidate swallowed you whole.

The next few scenes only lasted split seconds.

A young boy around your age with dirty blonde hair and light forest green pearls that matched those of your Stefan.

An unusually round and fluffy plant that almost seemed, hairy?

A flat pastry that had been folded and drizzled with a dark substance.

More violet flowers, only that time, they were doused in alizarin crimson.

A boy with sleek dark hair that reached to about his chin and jade colored eyes that stared expectantly, a pleading declaration swam in the black pools of his pupils.

Sharp ivory claws.

Bones, colossal in size.

So much steam.

Wings?

And throughout each memory, almost acting as a shadow in the back of your mind, there had been a reoccurring sight.

A pair of honey golden eyes.

Each time they presented themselves in front of you, they projected a vast collection of emotions that ranged from ecstasy and pleasure to misery and regret and everything in between. There was so much pain, emotional and physical, within those short but constant moments.

Luckily for you, just as soon as they had been tossed into your arms, they were tugged away as though you had not been meant to remember such moments. And so that is exactly what happened. You were allowed to slip back into your momentary state of peace.

Looking back at it, you should've known. Should've known that it was all too good to be true, because of course life could not allow you to stay in your idyllic place in life, beside both Stefan and Cielo, no matter how tightly you cradled it with your very own hands. Because one second, it felt as though you were coddling the sapphire blue butterfly you had fallen in love with and the very next, that same insect disintegrated into ashes and slipped though your fingers. No matter how hard you tried or how long you spent scouring the flakes from the ground, you'd never be able to seize every piece that fell to the floor. And most definitely not without bruising your knees from the effort that got rewarded with nothingness.

Fun fact: Cielo did indeed see you in the same light as you had seen Stefan. He also did think you were as, if not more, ethereal as that butterfly.

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night-filled-mountain · 3 years

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Captivity and Escape in Critical Role

So this post has been sitting in my drafts for about half a year. It’s about a persistent theme I noticed throughout campaign 2, which I’m sure others have noticed and written about before, but parallels and recurring themes have always been my Thing, and I couldn’t let it go. And with last week’s episode, and the campaign finale airing tonight, and the dominance of this theme being more glaringly obvious than ever, I thought I’d just give myself a treat and finish up a giant meta post. For old times’ sake.

So, just for the heck of it, here’s an exhaustive exploration of a single through-line of campaign 2 since the very beginning: captivity, and escaping or being freed from it.

Let’s start by taking a quick look at everyone’s backstories, the things that happened to them before the campaign even started, and how they were ultimately resolved.

FJORD: Entered unknowingly and unwillingly into a pact with Uk’otoa, which bound him to perform services he never agreed to in exchange for powers he never asked for. Fjord did not know how he got into this pact or how to get out of it. He makes his escape when he pitches his sword into a lava river and pledges himself to the Wildmother.

JESTER: Spent the majority of her life “locked in her room” (or at least hidden from sight) until the consequences of one of her pranks forcibly liberated her into the wider world. While Jester loves her mother dearly and thinks of her long “captivity” as being for her own protection, its negative effects on her--loneliness, insecurity, a lack of worldly experience and social awareness--were still apparent, and she spends much of the campaign working through them.

BEAU: Her parents had her kidnapped by monks. It could be argued that even before the kidnapping, she was a prisoner to her father’s “over-protective” tendencies and her parents’ expectations when it came to her career, behavior, gender role, etc. But most significantly, she was very much kidnapped by monks, and made her escape from the Cobalt Soul shortly before we met her.

CALEB: Where to start? First he suffered coercion and abuse at the hands of Trent (a form of captivity); then he was made to torture and execute prisoners; then he spent eleven years literally imprisoned in an asylum, and had to kill and steal in order to escape; and four and a half years later, he met Nott when they were both thrown in jail (and had to engineer their own escape once again). Caleb’s ordeals ultimately made him a prisoner of his own guilt and fear, and escaping that prison has been the heart of his storyline.

VETH/NOTT: Besides the aforementioned stint in jail, the catalyst for her entire adventuring career was being captured by goblins along with her family--and then, after engineering the escape of her husband and son, being imprisoned in the wrong body (and subsequently enslaved!). The desire to escape from this second imprisonment was her driving motivation through much of the campaign. With Caleb’s help (and Essek’s, and Jester’s), she ultimately succeeds.

MOLLY: His first memory was of clawing his way out of a grave, which is just about as extreme a form of captivity and escape as you can get. More subtly, he was also a prisoner to the expectations placed on his body--to the life that body once lived, which he could not remember and refused to claim. Arguably (and tragically), his escape from this particular prison is his own death...until Cree resurrects Lucien, Mollymauk fragment and all. Then he presumably becomes a prisoner much like Yasha was, subsumed body and soul by a mind and a will that are not his own. Until last week.

... (incoherent sobbing)

Until last week.

YASHA: She was a prisoner to her clan’s laws and expectations. Her brief attempt to escape this prison through a forbidden marriage ended tragically, and then she was forced to make a second, literal escape (fleeing into the desert)--only to be (presumably) possessed by Obann, imprisoned inside her own mind, and forced to do his bidding until the Storm Lord liberated her once again.

CADUCEUS: When the gang first meet him, he’s literally a prisoner of his own fear (and/or inertia)--though his whole family has left the Blooming Grove, he’s been too afraid or hesitant to brave the corruption of the Savalirwood without companionship, and spent years isolated in the family temple as a result. The Mighty Nein (or rather, Caleb, Nott, Beau, Keg, and Nila) initiate his escape.

***

And that’s just the backstories! Now let’s take a look at each of the places the Mighty Nein have visited since they came together, and the story arcs therein.

***

TROSTENWALD - CARNIVAL ARC: This arc’s entire goal is to free the (future) Mighty Nein and the other carnies from jail or house arrest. (Much later, the M9 come back to pay Gustav’s debt and liberate him as well.) And remember that Beau is especially sympathetic to Toya’s predicament because she, too, was once a young girl held somewhere against her will.

ALFIELD - GNOLL ARC: This arc’s entire goal is to free the citizens of Alfield who have been kidnapped by gnolls to feed to their manticore leader (and to kill off the gnolls and manticore to keep it from happening again).

ZADASH: The Mighty Nein’s first undertaking in Zadash is to kill off the giant spiders in the sewer. In the process, they free a halfling imprisoned in a spiderweb, which leads them to the Gentleman and all his future quests.

Aside from that, their biggest job in Zadash this time around is the High Richter heist--which, yes, is a mercenary/political job that goes terribly wrong, but why does it go terribly wrong? Because Ulog, the M9′s NPC ally at the time, is so furious over his wife being wrongfully imprisoned by the High Richter that he impulsively blows up both her and himself. And arguably the most poignant moment in the heist’s aftermath is Caleb speaking to the next High Richter, Dolan, and ensuring that Ulog’s wife will be freed.

Also, let’s not forget the drow the M9 meet in the sewer. The one they capture, interrogate, and ultimately...let go. Yes, he’s killed shortly afterward and his beacon falls into their hands, but I think it’s very important to remember that the decision they make, when holding a captive terrorist from an “enemy” nation, is to return his stolen artifact to him and let him walk away free.

LABENDA SWAMP/BERLEBEN: The most memorable events during this interlude are: (1.) The M9 literally freeing Kiri from the swamp, where she is stuck in the mud and at the mercy of crocodiles, and (2.) Bowlgate, a.k.a. Caleb and Beau’s tense confrontation over what to do with Calianna, which is once again fueled on Beau’s side by her sympathy for a young woman held against her will. (Caleb proposes that Cali spend the night with the M9, which she did not intend, so they can use spells to determine her truthfulness the next day.)

HUPPERDOOK: This one’s obvious: The M9 fight a deadly automaton to free two gnomes from prison and reunite them with their children (largely to prevent said children from being taken to an orphanage against their will).

GLORY RUN ROAD/SHADYCREEK RUN - IRON SHEPHERDS ARC: ...Even more obvious. The sole goal of the remaining M9 members (and Nila) throughout this arc is to free their friends from slavery. They end up slaughtering all the slavers and freeing several other captives as well.

LUSIDIAN OCEAN - PIRATE ARC: Here’s where things get really interesting. Because this whole arc is also about captivity and freedom, isn’t it?

It’s about whether or not to free a little old captive named Uk’otoa!

I haven’t given nearly enough thought to how this arc fits in with all the others thematically, considering its central lesson is that freeing this particular captive would be a very bad thing. I do think it’s significant that:

(1.) The beginning of this arc, which leaves the whole party feeling so bad and icky, involves them quite inadvertently taking a captive of their own--and one whom they don’t treat very well. (And still don’t, for that matter...poor Marius.)

(2.) Soon after that incident, the M9 are themselves effectively taken captive by Avantika and her crew. This situation doesn’t last nearly as long as many audience members (and quite possibly Matt, and quite possibly the players themselves!) thought it would, because they panic on Darktow, go all Wall of Fire, and free themselves in a huge, climactic, desperate battle. The Mighty Nein do not take well to captivity.

Anyhow, they follow all this up with...

FELDERWIN/XHORHAS - YEZA ARC: ...another very straightforward quest to free a captive. Not only is this arc all about rescuing Yeza from a Xhorhasian dungeon, but after Caleb returns the beacon, after the Bright Queen of Xhorhas offers the Mighty Nein anything they want...all they ask her for is to let them go.

BAZZOXAN & BEYOND - OBANN ARC: ...By now, you know where I’m going with this, right? The entire arc is about freeing Yasha from Obann, who has her imprisoned inside her own body, inside her own mind. There’s a reason That Moment in the cathedral hit so hard, right? “And as you close your eyes, you see yourself breaking the shackles. You see the influence no longer holding any sway over your soul. There's nothing but the storm, vengeance, and hope.”

(Bonus: In the middle of the above arc, we get the HAPPY FUN BALL - RESCUING YUSSA ARC, which, once again, is devoted to freeing a captive.)

KAMORDAH/CYRIOS MOUNTAINS - ISHARNAI ARC: Aimed entirely at freeing Nott from the body in which she was imprisoned. Beau also has a bit of a freedom arc here: confronting the parents who imprisoned her figuratively and literally, turning her back on them (possibly for good), and then confronting a major source of the expectations and superstitions they shackled her with: Isharnai, who is neutralized by Jester’s cupcake.

THE MENAGERIE - CLAY ARC: Aimed entirely at freeing Caduceus’s family, who are imprisoned in perhaps the most literal way possible, being turned to stone. (The M9 also manage to liberate the Stone family while they’re at it.)

RUMBLECUSP - TRAVELER CON: Two great liberations take place here. First, all the residents of the Village of Vo are freed from Vokodo’s influence, their memories restored, their blind devotion dispelled, able once again to choose the course of their own lives. Second, the followers of the Traveler are freed from the deception he’s imposed on them, the cult he’s roped them into. Thanks to the Moonweaver’s interference, they, too, are free to make informed decisions. And I think we can also safely say that Artagan is freed from them, from the false “god” role he managed to box himself into, and he’s happier for it.

EISELCROSS - SOMNOVEM ARC: ...And this is it, folks. This is why I decided to finish this post today. Because I was openly not feeling the Eiselcross arc as an endgame. The hard slog through the elements just wasn’t doing it for me, or the frequent combat, or the increasingly complex lore, or the traditionally heroic quest to save the world from being swallowed by a monstrous city.

...Until last week. Until Lucien’s defeat. And Molly’s oh-so-improbable resurrection.

When I heard all the voices of the Somnovem whispering “Thank you” as their individual souls were freed from the Lovecraftian hivemind...when I heard Jester sobbing that at least Molly’s soul wasn’t “trapped” inside a monstrous Lucien anymore...when Cad’s Divine Intervention succeeded, and Mollymauk Tealeaf opened his eyes--his two plain old natural eyes--unburdened by Lucien and his Somnovem eyes and all of his dark baggage for the first time--I was finally able to embrace this as the ending.

Because it’s not about saving the world. That’s just a bonus. It’s about saving a friend. Freeing a friend. Freeing captives, wherever they find them. Whether from Crown’s Guard, gnolls, and giant spiders, or from royal dungeons; whether from ruthless enemies or from their own families; whether from eldritch abominations or from the forces that chain their own minds.

In the end, the Mighty Nein--and the people whose lives they touch--belong to no one and nothing that they do not choose to belong to. They belong to themselves, to the people they most sincerely love, to the gods and causes they have chosen freely. And that has always, always been my favorite kind of story.

And I can’t wait for tonight.

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thinkingisadangerouspastime · 3 years

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what do you think of aang's comments in "the southern raiders" and what they meant to katara? I watched that episode recently with my sister who dislikes atla, and assessed similar things to what certain people of the fandom are saying: "aang didn't understand her", "aang was pushing his beliefs onto her", "it didn't seem like he knew her", etc. she was more fair than those people of course because she did say it was realistic that he'd be so worried since she recognizes that he does love her.

Honestly those arguments are all,, tired. They’re outdated. They’re boring. They’re wrong. They’re a result of a fundamental misunderstanding of A:TLA canon. This isn’t to say that those who genuinely, truly believe these arguments are terrible people (obviously not lmao), but somewhere along the line they had a seed planted in their mind that posits them to have inherent dislike for Aang. And honestly? I just feel sorry for them, because not understanding and appreciating Aang means their A:TLA experience really can’t be that great. But I digress!

“aang didn’t understand her”

Oh, what’s the post? Right - “Fandom once again forgets that Aang is the sole survivor of genocide.” Aang understands better than anyone else what Katara is going through*. There is a direct parallel between Aang finding Gyatso’s skeleton and Katara finding Kya’s body. I’m not going to sit here and argue which was more traumatizing (literally can’t stand when people do that) because you can’t quantify grief like that, but it cannot be denied that Aang has experienced something incredibly similar to what Katara has gone through: the loss of a close parental figure followed by finding said parent’s corpse. Not only that, but Aang and Katara both share a unique sense of helplessness intertwined with their grief regarding their parental figures’ deaths. For Katara, there are the questions of:

- what if I wasn’t a waterbender

- what if I had run a little faster

- what if I had fought against Yon Rha back then

All leading to “Could I have saved her?” For Aang, there are the questions of:

- what if I wasn’t the Avatar

- what if I hadn’t run away

- what if I had stayed to fight the Fire Nation back then

All leading to “Could I have saved him?” Both of them feel incredibly guilty on a personal level about the death of their parental figures, thus blaming themselves. Katara tries to push it off onto Zuko/the Fire Nation and Aang tries to suppress it entirely, but ultimately it is revealed how closely they hold responsibility to their chests. For Aang, it comes out in “The Storm.” For Katara, it comes out in “The Southern Raiders.” So, bullshit that Aang doesn’t understand Katara! He understands her grief better than anyone.

Also, many, many people have gone into this before, but Aang’s example of Appa being stolen was not callous/rude/etc. Appa was the last living piece of his culture. Appa is not “just a pet.” People who insist so are the actual ones being callous, not Aang. And, as Aang himself says, “How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people?” Aang has experienced more hurt at the hands of the Fire Nation than anyone. There’s a great meta here that delves into Aang’s experiences as the sole survivor of genocide. I don’t understand how someone could acknowledge all that Aang has lost (read: he has lost everything) and then argue that he doesn’t understand Katara’s pain. Like, what? Do you have no sense of empathy?

But most importantly, from Katara herself: “Thanks for understanding, Aang.” She says this after her initial dismissal of him. So take it from the source, my friend - Katara believed Aang understood her. Who are we to argue?

*The only exception perhaps being Sokka, since Kya was indeed his mother, too, but it is worth noting that Sokka did not have the same experience of seeing Kya’s dead body or feeling the intense self-blame that Katara did.

“aang was pushing his beliefs onto her”

It is SO funny how those SAME people have NO problem with everyone in the Gaang telling Aang to kill Ozai the finale! Y’know, when they were disregarding the pacifistic beliefs of his people in exchange for emphasizing their, ahem, more aggressive ones? SO funny! I’m laughing SO hard right now!

Heavy sarcasm, in case it wasn’t obvious. They’re hypocrites and they know it.

But, more importantly, Aang was not pushing his beliefs onto her? At all?? Tell me where in the episode Aang:

- refused to let Katara go after Yon Rha

- told Katara what she was doing was wrong

- told Katara that HE was right and that SHE needed to listen to HIM

Here’s the thing: none of that ever happened! Not only does Aang accept that Katara needs to go (see: “I wasn’t planning to [stop you]. This is a journey you need to take. You need to face this man.”), but he allows her to take Appa on her journey. Appa, the last living piece of his culture. Aang has incredible trust in Katara, and his choice to send Appa with her (essentially sending a piece of himself with her) demonstrates this fact clearly. That should end the discussion point blank, but I guess I’ll break down the lines people seem to have issues with:

1) “It’s okay, because I forgive you. [Pauses.] That give you any ideas?”

Honestly, the criticism this line gets is laughable to me. People use it to argue that Aang was being disrespectful to Katara’s feelings and?? I hate to break it to them, but you HAVE to look at the context a line is in if you’re going to judge it. That is Analysis 101: Context is Everything. This moment is used to break tension. That type of scenario is an entire literary trope, okay? A:TLA did not invent it! Shakespeare literally did it in Romeo and Juliet when he had Peter argue with musicians about something stupid after Juliet’s “death.” The whole point is to break tension before more serious scenes. In R&J, it is before the lovers kill themselves, and in A:TLA, it is before Katara leaves with Zuko to confront Yon Rha. That’s why there’s another moment just like it at the end of that scene! Y’know, Sokka asking to borrow Momo for no reason? It breaks tension! It’s a moment of respite before weighty scenes! It’s incredibly common in every form of media! This is what no Humanities classes did to some of y’all, I swear to God. So yeah, Aang was not disrespecting Katara’s feelings with this. It’s just a tension-breaker. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news for those who devoutly believed it was a sign of Aang being a Horrible Person. You were wrong, ain’t no big thing, go drink some water and stay hydrated okay darlings?

2) “I don’t think so. I think it’s about getting revenge.”

Um, a major point of “The Southern Raiders” is that Aang was right about Katara’s initial drive to face Yon Rha? It was a quest for revenge? Katara literally bloodbends, an ability she was forced to learn and essentially feels cursed to bear? Also, nowhere here does Aang tell Katara she was a horrible person for feeling angry and wanting revenge. He simply brings her attention to the reality that what she’s currently seeking is revenge. He’s worried about her. She’s his best friend! He loves her! He doesn’t want her to kill Yon Rha because he knows that for Katara to have blood on her hands from a revenge quest would hurt her tremendously. (As a matter of fact, the audience knows - or should know - this, too.) So, sorry that Aang expresses concern for her? Apparently not wanting your best friend to murder someone is forcing your beliefs onto them? Damn. Y’all are harsh these days.

3) “The monks used to say that revenge is like a two-headed rat viper. While you watch your enemy go down, you’re being poisoned yourself.” // “Katara, you do have a choice: forgiveness.” // “No, it’s not. It's easy to do nothing, but it’s hard to forgive.” // “But when you do, please don’t choose revenge. Let your anger out, and then let it go. Forgive him.”

I put all the forgiveness quotes together since people tend to complain about them as a whole. But like,, I really don’t see how this is Aang forcing his beliefs onto her? He asks her to choose forgiveness. And just speaking plainly: on an emotional level, it is better for someone to forgive than to murder. Killing someone is not easy, even if you hate that person with every bone in your body, and it will mentally scar whomever does it. Y’all know this! It’s obvious! I shouldn’t have to say it! But Aang knows this, too, and thus he doesn’t want to see Katara kill Yon Rha and perhaps kill a part of herself in the process. Katara is not a killer. I’m not arguing about whether she could have or even if she wanted to, because you know what, she admits she was tempted, but Katara is not a killer. An FMA quote is very fitting here:

“Your hands weren’t meant to kill. They were meant to give life.”

Why should Katara have to live with a man’s murder on her conscience, especially when his death would be a result of fruitless revenge? The answer is simple: she shouldn’t, and Aang doesn’t want her to. Katara is a warrior. A healer. A leader. A friend. But not a killer.

Anyways. Back to my point: Aang is not forcing his beliefs onto her here. He’s offering her another option, the option she ends up choosing, albeit she extends forgiveness to Zuko instead. And Prince Holier-Than-Thou (jk love you Zuzu) acknowledges it himself: “You [Aang] were right about what Katara needed.” Aang didn’t force anything on Katara here. He reminded her of her choices, he reminded her about the consequences of revenge, and he reminded her about the value of forgiveness. Never once did he tell her she had to forgive Yon Rha or else. And when it came down to it, he stepped aside, and he let her go, because he knew this was a journey she needed to take. So… He actually did the exact opposite of forcing his beliefs onto her! He respected her feelings and let her make her own decision! Seriously, how many pairs of anti-Aang goggles do people have to wear to genuinely believe otherwise??

“it didn't seem like he knew her”

Ohhhhhh my God this is SO close to one of the actual points of the episode! So close!! It’s not that Aang didn’t know her; it’s that Katara wasn’t acting like herself. I’ve talked about it before here and here, but Katara was incredibly consumed by her emotions in “The Southern Raiders.” It’s why she ignores Zuko the entire time before they leave on Appa! It’s why she makes that callous comment to Sokka about their mother that we know she never would have made normally! She is drowning in grief about her mother’s absence, guilt regarding her mother’s death, and anger about Zuko (she still does not trust him, and yet he can lead her to her mother’s killer; I don’t know about y’all, but that is really freaking difficult to reconcile). So when Aang compares her to Jet, it’s not a far-off description. She is acting like Jet, because she’s consumed by grief and hurt and anger and she’s not acting like herself. It is instrumental, too, that Katara isn’t acting like herself, because it makes her decision not to pursue revenge and instead offer a second third chance to Zuko even more profound. “I’m proud of you,” Aang tells her, and damn! The audience is, too! I was incredibly proud of her for finding her way out of what can be a bottomless spiral for some people. So again, it wasn’t that Aang didn’t know her. It was that Katara wasn’t acting like herself (I guess meaning… no one knew her?).

In conclusion, literally all of these anti-Aang arguments regarding TSR are exhausting and so easily disprovable. The fact that they somehow manage to live on is evidence that people just want excuses to hate Aang, plain and simple. Like, it’s so easy to just say you don’t vibe with his character? You don’t have to pull BS excuses to “justify” it? I don’t vibe with Ty Lee as much as I do other characters (although I have recently grown much more fond of her; bless the Renaissance for more Mailee content, even if some of it is just a Zukka byproduct), but y’all don’t see me twisting her sacrifice in “Boiling Rock” to make it seem like it was selfish or something (mostly because, spoiler alert, it wasn’t). Like, you can say Aang isn’t your favorite and move on instead of using the same boring rhetoric over and over and over that just makes it look like you lack critical thinking. :/

TL;DR - Aang’s comments to Katara in “The Southern Raiders” came from a place of concern. A place of wisdom. A place of love. And honestly? I think Katara realizes this, and she’s grateful to him all the more for it.

#if y'all even mention zuko on this post i will stomp you to death with my hooves. this is not about who understood katara better!!#this is solely addressing bs anti aang arguments #aang #katara #atla #avatar the last airbender #adding line break after i post btw!!#atla meta #atla analysis #the southern raiders #yon rha #amy answers #amy analyzes #queenaleesbiggestfan-writes

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panharmonium · 3 years

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this is their “because we’re the same” moment.

this is kakashi gauging the situation and making a conscious decision to offer up private information about himself, not because it’s something he particularly likes talking about, but because it’s what the kid in front of him needs to hear. a teacher with poorer instincts might have bristled at sasuke’s behavior, or taken it personally, but kakashi knows better than to react that way. he isn’t upset by sasuke’s lashing out, and he doesn’t bite back - he stays quiet and collected, and he lets sasuke’s attacks roll off him like water. then, in the same mild tone as always, he issues a calm correction, while simultaneously offering sasuke an opportunity for connection.

and just like with iruka’s confession to naruto, this connection is successful. sasuke is visibly, dramatically affected by hearing this. it snaps him out of his rage, and sends him into a quiet, almost abashed contemplation.

his expression softens. his anger evaporates. everything deflates and deescalates. he stops shouting and starts listening. this is the first time he’s ever been approached on this subject by somebody who can rightfully claim to know what they’re talking about. this is the first time sasuke can’t simply discard what’s being said to him because “well, what the hell do they know, anyway?” this is the first time he’s ever been approached by an adult who a) sees through his ‘perfect student’ act and knows exactly what’s motivating both his past successes and his current crisis, and who b) truly, honestly understands the pain he’s feeling.

this has NEVER happened to sasuke before. sasuke is, as far as we can see, left to fend for himself after the uchiha massacre. he has never had an adult address his issues with him like this, honestly and in plain language and with a kind of steady compassion that is gentle and empathetic without crossing the line into indulgence (which has its place, but which isn’t the kind of guidance sasuke needs right now). kakashi asks sasuke to hold himself accountable for his actions while at the same time saying “i understand how you feel. i know how badly it hurts.” he validates sasuke’s refusal to be lectured by someone who can’t possibly understand what he’s going through, even though it means sharing a piece of his history that he absolutely has not discussed with any of the other kids and that he generally tries to keep private. he knows sasuke deserves to hear from somebody who Gets It. he knows sasuke will refuse to listen to anyone who doesn’t get it. he knows sasuke shouldn’t HAVE to listen to anyone who doesn’t get it - sasuke deserves better than preachy platitudes from people who can’t possibly understand how much pain he’s feeling.

this is the most important conversation kakashi and sasuke ever have. it’s not the first time they address this issue - kakashi started his careful foray into the Itachi Waters as far back as their preparations for the final round of the chunin exams - but this is the first time he really dives off the dock, and it’s almost an effective enough attempt to avert disaster. sasuke stays up in that tree for hours after kakashi leaves, thinking about what he said. we see how much of a pull sasuke’s “new comrades to help fill the void” have on him, despite how difficult it is for him to consider giving up the quest that for years has been his sole reason for existing.

kakashi reaches sasuke during this conversation, the same way iruka is able to reach naruto. but unlike iruka and naruto’s connection, sasuke’s situation ends up being a perfect storm of bad circumstances - kakashi is ordered out of the village just when orochimaru’s minions are about to make their move, and the connection he makes with sasuke is disrupted before it can make the kind of difference in sasuke’s life that iruka’s companionship makes in naruto’s. and of course, we all know where things go after that.

but it still matters! it matters that this is the last conversation they have. the next time they meet, three years later, it’s a mirror image of this, right down to kakashi tying sasuke up with a wire. that moment when kakashi tells him “look deep inside your heart, one more time / deep down, you know the truth” - the shot flashes to sasuke’s memory of all his old classmates, the same way sakura and naruto emerged in his mind when kakashi told him “still, we’re not all that bad off. at least you and i have found new comrades to help fill the void.” and then the camera zooms in for a close-up where the only thing in the frame is sasuke’s trembling lip - because he’s hurting! even though he’s too far gone right now to come back (and he has valid reasons for this, importantly), there’s a buried part of him that still feels conflicted. a part of him is still up in that tree, trying to decide what to do.

the importance of sasuke finding an adult who understands what’s he dealing with and can connect to him in a way that no other grown-up has ever been able to do just CAN’T be overstated. sasuke needs his friends - desperately, he needs them - but he’s also in desperate need of an Adult. sasuke has been living in an absolutely fucked headspace for years and years, and he has way too much trauma/baggage to sort through on his own. he’s sixteen years old. he needs a grown-up to support him - and the only person he’ll ever accept in this role is somebody who understands him, someone else who lost everyone they loved, someone else who suffered at the hands of the system, someone else who hated himself and blamed himself for the deaths of the people he cared about and who somehow still made it out of the darkness without succumbing to the tempting oblivion of self-destruction.

sasuke needs to know that it’s possible to suffer the way he has suffered and still be a whole person, still live a whole life, still have loving and meaningful relationships with the people around him. he needs to know that he can do more than just survive - that maybe he’ll have to overhaul everything he thought he knew about what it means to be “strong” or “safe” in this world, but that if he can manage to do that, then there is a way for him to be rescued from his pain, one that doesn’t involve hurting other people (or himself). he needs to know that his life can be more than just the terrible things that happened to him. and the only person who can teach him all of that is someone who’s already figured it out for himself.

#long post #naruto #meta #he's like me #lotta thoughts happening in my brain right now and i'm sorry for all the meta dumps but i have a backlog from last week when i was busy #i absolutely Must talk about these things before they eat me alive

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tumblezwei · 4 years

Text

Why Kyoko Mogami is the GOAT

And why y’all are SLEEPING ON HER

Spoilers for Skip Beat, but honestly idk how much of the story I’m gonna get into for this since I’m flying by the seat of my pants. Still, read at your own risk.

Also this is LONG lmao

Kyoko Mogami is a 16 year old middle school drop-out that works two jobs day and night in order to pay rent for the Tokyo apartment that she lives in all by herself 6 days out of the week. Going into the first chapter, there are three things immediately clear about her.

1. She’s cheerful, kind, and also kind of batshit insane. From the first moment we meet her, her personality is throwing itself at our faces and refusing to calm down. (apologies for the bad quality images, I work with what I have)

2. She loves Sho Fuwa, her childhood friend and rising rock-star that asked Kyoko to come with him to Tokyo after middle school graduation to support his career

3. Nothing matters to her as long as Sho is happy. Sure, she laments that her love for girly dresses, cosmetics, and fairy tale princesses will never amount to anything since all of her money is going toward paying the rent on her and Sho’s apartment, but that’s fine. As long as her precious Sho is happy, so is she.

And, as you’d expect, things go to shit pretty quickly afterwards. During one her off days from her night job, Kyoko decides to visit Sho at his recording studio with dinner. After sneaking in past the hoards of squealing teenage girls waiting outside to catch a glimpse of him, she overhears him talking to his manager.

“I’m the heir to a prominent Japanese inn, do you think I’ve ever cooked or cleaned all by myself?” She hears.

“That’s awful,” the manager replies, “you make it sound as if you brought her just to be your maid.”

“She’s basically been my maid since I was a kid, or else I wouldn’t have brought her along with me. It’s not like I forced her, I asked her a question and gave her the choice. It’s only natural that she’d work her butt off to support me.”

And he just keeps going. Once he’s made enough to live independently, he’ll send her back. How dare his parents try to set him up with a plain-looking girl like her. She doesn’t even wear make-up!

As images of flash in Kyoko’s mind of standing in front of make-up stores with no money to buy anything, she takes Sho’s words just as well as one might expect. By unleashing the box of tucked away emotions she’s held in her chest and swearing to take revenge on Sho for using her and throwing her away like this.

. I failed to mention this at the start, but the beginning of the chapter introduces us to the most important piece of symbolism in Kyoko’s character development: Pandora’s box.

For Kyoko’s entire life, she’s held this box inside herself. In myth, once this box was opened, all of the evil of the world is unleashed, never to be put back inside. So for Kyoko, the metaphor is quite apt. Hearing Sho’s words unlocks the box and unleashes a kind of anger that not even Kyoko knew she was capable of, a kind of determination and vengeance that has her dyeing her hair and staking outside of a talent manager’s house for days on end to whittle down his willpower and give her a chance to audition at Sho’s rival talent agency, LME. Every time she hears his name, or sees his picture, she’s filled with myopic sense of rage that no one can calm her down from.

Her sole mission in life is to get revenge on Sho Fuwa, a sentiment that finds her at odds with LME’s top actor, Ren Tsuruga, who sees her one-sided quest for vengeance as an insult to people who truly love acting. But as if Kyoko cares, she needs to get revenge!

I’m gonna drop the pseudo-narration for a bit because I actually need to skip over a fair bit of plot to get to what I think makes Kyoko incredibly compelling, outside of being the funniest female character in existence. We’re going to jump forward in time to Kyoko’s first acting gig. Well, not so much an gig as much as it is a competition. She’s been tasked to play the role of a dignified inn keeper that’s serving tea to the main male character. After having broken her ankle and been challenged by the real lead actress, this is her first shot to prove she has the talent to make it in the acting industry. So in order to immerse herself in the role, she utilizes her experience of being trained by Sho’s mother to take care of the inn that his family owned. It’s here that we finally understand that Kyoko giving up her life back home for Sho wasn’t just a spur of the moment decision brought about by infatuation. It was something she’d been doing for her entire life. Everything she knows how to do, every skill she’s obtained, has been because of Sho. And this is the moment that she realizes that fact too. (the first image is from after the scene is done, wherein Kyoko cannot snap herself out of her character due to the lessons she was taught as a child, despite her sitting position making her broken ankle unbearably painful).

Even her righteous fury at being left in the dust is focused solely on Sho fucking Fuwa. Is there anything that she has than can be attributed to her own success? Does she have any skills that can’t be traced back to trying to make Sho happy? Who is Kyoko Mogami? Is she worth anything without Sho?

And I want to make this clear right now, because I know the term “shoujo” makes people hesitate. THIS is what Skip Beat is about. Kyoko’s journey to find out who she is, and with every new role she takes on and with every experience she gains, she becomes just a little closer to finding out who she is and what she wants for herself.

We watch as her love for acting slowly eclipses her thirst for revenge. A few arcs after this moment, she is contacted about a job to act in a music PV with none other than Sho himself. In the beginning, she accepts the job in order to prove to Sho that she’s climbing the ladder and catching up to him, but her performance suffers whenever she thinks about her revenge. And what saves her isn’t even putting aside her revenge, but prioritizing her own feelings above it. She wants to act! She wants to put on a good performance! So she needs to put aside those feelings of anger and draw from her past experiences to create a character that leaves Sho in the dust.

I’m gonna bet y’all are wondering about the romance, though. Because this is a shoujo, and of course it has romance. But hey, guess what? That romance is equally compelling and is an integral part to Kyoko’s character too. In the first....5 or so arcs, Ren Tsuruga ‘s relationship with Kyoko crawls it’s way out of the it’s rocky beginnings, and he slowly becomes a mentor figure to Kyoko. He’s her superior in acting, and she looks to him often for support and guidance when she’s struggling to perform a role or having difficulty with her fellow actors. To Kyoko, Ren is the goal, his level of acting is what she aspires to be, so she can stand on equal footing with him. Before there’s even a whiff of romance between them, there develops a solid bond of trust and support. And once the romance starts. Hoo boy.

To fully understand why it’s taken 12 years irl for a confession scene to finally take place, we need to bring back the metaphor of Pandora’s box. Because not everything escaped Pandora’s box when it was opened. Pandora was able to shut the box just in time for one thing to stay locked inside: hope. In the myth, this is a good thing, while negative and vile emotions run free, hope still exists within people to become better. But for Kyoko, the box isn’t a safe place, it’s a repressed place. She spent her entire life locking away the negative emotions she felt, placing a smile on her face and hoping for Sho’s happiness. And when those emotions are set lose, she locks the box back up, sealing something else inside. Her hope, her confidence in anything having to do with love.

It’s not just that Kyoko isn’t in love anymore, she feels as if she can’t be in love anymore, that she’s entirely incapable of it. The idea of falling in love with someone else terrifies her. What if she goes back to the way she was before? An empty shell that exists for other people and not herself. The box has been sealed tightly again, and by God this time she’s not going to let anything open it. And like, I don’t want to spoil much in this, as contradictory as that sounds. Because the scene where she realizes she loves Ren? One of the best fucking scenes in any romance manga ever.

And. God. I haven’t even touched on her mom. Kyoko’s desire for love, that became so warped under Sho and so desolate after his betrayal, can all stem back to Saena Mogami. A woman who, no matter what Kyoko did, rejected any affection that her child tried to give, and gave none in return. “Even a mother can hate her own child.” We get bits and pieces of what Kyoko’s mother was like, and the environment that a very young Kyoko was raised in before her mother left her in the care of Sho’s parents. And eventually we realize that Kyoko isn’t afraid of her love being rejected twice, but a third time.

Like, y’all, I’m not good at these kind of essays. I keep wanting to go off on tangents, nothing is ever focused, I spend to much time just reading the manga instead of writing this fucking post. But please believe me when I tell you that Kyoko Mogamis character development is like none other. She’s truly at the top of her genre and it’s an actual crime that she’s so underrated.

I HAVEN’T EVEN TALKED ABOUT KANAE, THE WEISS TO HER RUBY, THE TSUNDERE TO HER GENKI

Before Kyoko gets even a single arc with Ren, she gets two with Kanae. The first with Kanae as a central figure, and the second where Kanae is her support. She’s the one that gives Kyoko the eureka moment she needs to pull of her performance with Sho. They are one of the most developed and deep friendships in shoujo that I’ve ever seen AND Y’ALL NEED TO STOP SLEEPING ON IT. LOOK AT THESE TWO

And don’t take this poorly assembled post at face value, I’ve left out a lot of shit. Starting with how fucking funny this manga is. Kyoko’s special talent for her LME audition is peeling vegetables, there’s a running gag where Ren asks for her advice while she’s in a giant chicken costume, unaware that it’s her, the president of LME is an eccentric millionaire that likes to dress up in different themed costumes every day and loves throwing extravagant parties, Kyoko’s hobby is making voodoo dolls and talks to a miniature Ren doll whenever she needs encouragement or advice.

And it’s all packaged alongside some of the most compelling character development I’ve ever seen (for both Kyoko and Ren), and some absolutely heartbreaking drama. You will never know true pain until “I don’t have a daughter.”

Read this, ya’ll. You won’t regret it.

#I'm not going back over this because I KNOW it's not coherent but FUCK IT #skip beat #rambling #long post

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dioptre-hertz · 4 years

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Pathologic 2 ending thoughts

i don’t really use tumblr much anymore, but i recently finished Pathologic 2 and i have thoughts on the ending, which i felt was somewhat incongruous with the rest of the game’s themes and ideas. and tumblr felt like the right place to put a long-form post about it. so, here i am, haha!

MAJOR spoilers for Pathologic 2 below, obviously. this post will probably only be interesting to you if you’ve already played the game, so if you haven’t, be warned! hehehe!

okay, so. i have a lot of thoughts about the ending stuff, but basically it boils down to: i think the ending as presented would have been a good ending for a different game.

quick summary: towards the end of the game, Artemy learns that the Polyhedron, a physics-defying tower and architectural wonder, is rooted into the ground with a long metal spike that pierces the Living Earth. destroying the Polyhedron would therefore open a gaping wound in the Earth, spilling rivers of blood that could be used to mass-produce a cure for the plague. however, doing so would not only destroy the Polyhedron, but also kill the Living Earth, and by extension the Kin. alternately, Artemy can choose to preserve the Polyhedron, which would prevent the Living Earth from bleeding out and dying; but it would come at the cost of the lives of everyone in the town, since the plague would then be unstoppable.

so, the ending choice is principally about this: you have to choose between preserving the magical wonders of the world, the Kin and the Polyhedron and the Living Earth, but at the expense of the actual living humans of the town; or, you save the town and all its mundanities and its ordinary people you've worked so hard to protect, but at the expense of your cultural heritage and all the magical, impossible things of the Steppe. do you choose a world that is dreamlike, enchanted and strange, even if there is no place for regular humans in that world; or do you choose an ordinary, realistic world, one in which there is life for common folk but not for magic and fairy tales?

here’s what irks me though: this dichotomy is not at all what the game is about. or, to be more precise, it never felt to me personally like this was what the narrative was setting up. the choice as presented is fine in a vacuum! there’s nothing wrong with telling a story that creates this kind of clash between magic and realism, and asks you to choose between them. but it doesn’t feel congruous with the rest of the game’s story. let me elaborate.

so, part of what’s going on here is that the game is asking you to make a sacrifice. as the game itself repeatedly tells you: “you can’t save everyone”. either the Kin, the magical steppe creatures, and the Polyhedron are destroyed; or, the ordinary humans of the town are destroyed. you can’t protect both. Pathologic 2 goes to great lengths to show you that you are not a magical fantasy RPG hero who can complete every quest, rescue every NPC, overcome any obstacle and get the Perfect Ending. that’s the whole point of the overly punishing hunger and exhaustion mechanics; that’s why you die so easily in combat, why you’re always running out of time, and why the game is perfectly willing to punish you for every single mistake you make. it’s not a game about being the chosen one, who has magic powers and is uniquely capable of saving the day. right?

except... it kind of is precisely that, if you think about it. Artemy’s story is very clearly a traditional “chosen one” narrative! he is the sole inheritor of his father’s legacy, he is the town’s only menkhu, and so much of the story revolves around his spiritual journey. over the course of the game, Artemy undergoes a coming-of-age of sorts, reconnecting with his heritage, unlocking the secrets of being a menkhu, brewing magical tinctures that slow down and ultimately cure the plague. multiple characters make it explicit that Artemy is important - Foreman Oyun, Aspity, Isidor, and various minor characters of the Kin (like Nara) all talk at length about how Artemy is special, and his role (should he embrace it) is to lead the Kin once he is ready. and the entire conflict with Rubin revolves around the fact that Rubin isn’t the “chosen one” the way Artemy is!

this whole plot thread reaches its climax when Artemy ventures into the Abattoir to seek answers. there, he undergoes a series of harrowing spiritual experiences. several really important things happen here, and i want to focus on two of them.

firstly: upon reaching the central chamber of the Abattoir, Artemy is tasked with performing “surgery” on three seemingly random objects: a candlestick, a fingernail coin, and a spindle of thread. he has a metaphysical conversation with the odongh he meets there and then “connects” these objects into a living, beating heart, and the heart speaks to him. this scene is either hallucinatory or supernatural (or both), but it doesn’t matter which; the point of the scene is that Artemy has finally learned to read the Lines, learned to see how seemingly disparate objects can be spiritually connected into a singular whole. he takes three items that appear to have nothing in common, and he forges a beating heart out of them, a living thing. as Artemy himself learns:

This system isn't symmetrical. It's not just "Nerves, Bones, Skin." Or "Nerves, Bones, Flesh." Or "Spirit, Hair, Blood." Any triad is correct.

Truth is not a set point, but an intersection and confluence of many small truths. Knowing this, I can match and connect anything.

furthermore, shortly after leaving the Abattoir, Artemy has a dream in which he returns there and speaks to the ghost of Isidor, his father. here, he learns a difficult truth: that Isidor intentionally brought the plague back to the town, believing - essentially - that it was necessary for the town’s growth. the decision seems monstrous. Isidor justifies it thus:

This town was… connected wrong. Its parts were tied with artificial seams—so different, so awkward. One could say that Simon, the Mistresses, and I held it all together by force.

So I tore it apart, so you can sew it all back, better than before. Because you're better, and smarter, than I am.

so here we have the high point of Artemy’s spiritual journey, the part of the story where he finally understands why things are the way they are, and what it is he must do.

and this is where things start going wrong, in my opinion.

because all of this, all of what we’ve seen, seems to point in one very clear direction: Artemy will find a way to connect the Kin, the Town, and the Polyhedron into a single coherent whole. it fits so perfectly! Artemy learns that there is a way to mass-produce a cure, but doing so would require him to destroy the Polyhedron and the Living Earth. it appears as though the Polyhedron, the Living Earth, and the Town cannot all coexist; something must be sacrificed. but this choice is presented right after we’re told that Artemy’s destiny is to “sew it all back, better than before”. it is presented once we’ve seen that Artemy can connect a coin, a candlestick, and a spindle of thread into a living, beating heart, no matter how impossible that may sound. knowing this, he can match and connect anything.

and yet, he... doesn’t. the game does not end with a solution that connects the Kin, the Polyhedron and the Town. ultimately, Artemy fails to sew it all back together - and it’s not just that he fails, it’s that the game itself seems utterly unconcerned with that possibility once it heads into its final act. the mere idea that there could be a solution that “connects things right“ goes unexplored. even if the game wanted to be pessimistic and suggest that it can’t be done after all, it should at least acknowledge the thought! the game does admittedly have a focus on the idea that “you can’t save everyone”; this is one of its core motifs. so, fair enough! but since it fails to address that cynicism, it feels less like a statement on the game’s part and more like a lack of awareness.

but that’s not all! there’s a second thing that really bugs me. see, there’s another major event that takes place in the Abattoir: Artemy finally has his fateful encounter with Nara, the Herb Bride who has haunted him throughout the game, insisting that their destinies are intertwined and that he will one day kill her. here, Artemy finally comes to understand what it all means. in the depths of the Abattoir, Nara is waiting for him; the other Herb Brides give Artemy a menkhu’s knife, and they task him with cutting open Nara’s body without killing her:

We know how to open things up. Our way. You know how to open things up. Your way. Do you want to know why the sand pest passes us by? Show yourself.

Cut a living sister in such a way that she stays living. You can do it, if you know the Lines.

Artemy follows through, and he converses with Nara even as he cuts into her flesh; they talk to each other right until the end, when Artemy retrieves a spindle of thread from her body, and she dies.

now, this scene is somewhat tricky to interpret; Artemy must show that he can “cut a living sister in such a way that she stays living”, but in the end, Nara does die. so was he successful or not? well, i would argue that he is; even though Nara dies, he proves that he is able to read the Lines with such precision that she can speak calmly with him until the very end.

more importantly, this scene is the high point of a recurring theme in the game: Artemy’s skill as surgeon.

on Day 1, the very first part of the game, Artemy is sent by his old friend Bad Grief to perform surgery on Piecework, one of the thugs in Bad Grief’s gang. Piecework has gotten in a fight and been stabbed in the gut with a lockpick; without Artemy’s intervention, he will die. you can choose to save him, flub the surgery and kill him, or ignore the sidequest altogether; in any case, this early quest introduces the player to the surgery mechanic and serves to establish Artemy’s unique skills as a surgeon.

on Day 11, the last day of proper gameplay, you have a repeat of this encounter. while pursuing the main quest for the day, you wind up in a pub, where a gang of local bandits have set up shop. they threaten you and order you to rescue one of their pals, who has been shot in the stomach and is about to die. here you again perform surgery to save a man’s life, but this time you don’t do it through the usual surgery minigame - it happens entirely through dialogue choices, and i’m actually not even sure if it’s possible to fail this interaction. in any case, you retrieve the bullet from the man’s stomach and inform his friends that he’ll live.

so what’s the point of all that then? well, the way i see it, the point of all this is to foreshadow a climactic conclusion: Artemy will remove the Polyhedron without killing the Living Earth.

the game spends a lot of time setting this up! on Day 1, Artemy saves a man by removing a long metal spike from his gut non-lethally; in the Abattoir, Artemy proves his spiritual growth by demonstrating that he can “cut a living sister in such a way that she stays living”; and on Day 11, the game throws yet another surgery vignette at you in a scene that frankly feels a bit out of place otherwise.

all of this feels, to me, like it's foreshadowing and setting up one very obvious result: Artemy, having mastered not only practical surgery but also the art of reading the Lines, of being a menkhu, is the one person who can remove the Polyhedron without killing the Living Earth! the game spends all this time explaining that in the Steppe culture, cutting open flesh, or the earth itself, is taboo: only a menkhu is allowed to do so, because a menkhu is someone who knows how to read the Lines, who knows how to cut in a way that will not harm the Living Earth. the culmination of the story, therefore, needs to be that Artemy puts this exact skill to use. that was the point of his character arc, right?

except... no, it isn’t. in the end, there is no way to surgically extract the metal spike from the Living Earth. the only two choices we are presented with are: botch the surgery, or leave it be.

...

in the end, i feel that the ending(s) of Pathologic 2 aren’t appropriate conclusions to the ideas, motifs, and overall narrative progression we’re shown throughout the earlier parts of the game. Pathologic 2 is in many ways brilliant, and i do not hesitate to call it a masterpiece, aforementioned criticisms notwithstanding - but that’s precisely why i cared enough to write all this down! it’s a story that gets into your head, really stays with you, and maybe that’s the reason why i have such strong feelings about the direction the story takes in its final act.

if you reached the end of this post: thank you so much for reading it! i hope you enjoyed my thoughts, and i hope you have a great day!

#pathologic #pathologic 2 #artemy burakh

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animatedminds · 4 years

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Splash Mountain, Br’er Rabbit, and the Tragedy of Being Represented By Other People.

So, this is probably going to be the realest post I’ll make for a while - or at least until The Boondocks arrives, but it seemed apropos. Immediately after this I’ve got rants about sci fi and Star Wars and other unrelated things coming up, but for now we have my earnest opinions on a decision I feel should have been better thought out than it was. This is going to read more like an article or an essay than a review, but I think it needs to be said.

It hasn’t come up too often on this blog, but I am African American. It’s my life and my perspective. And as an African American, a lover of animation and - though this definitely doesn’t come up on the blog - a passionate folklorist in what you could call an academic sense (in that I’m a writer and a student, and folklore is the subject of most of my research), people I know in real life have asked me more than once what my opinion on the removal of Splash Mountain in favor of Princess and the Frog, how I must be glad it’s finally being removed, what my take on the history there was, and…

Well…

To really give that opinion, I’ve got to start at the beginning. Not Song of the South - that, if anything, is the very middle. We have to start with Br’er Rabbit and who that character was. Sit back students, info dump incoming.

Br’er Rabbit is an folklore character of African American origin with - like many folkloric figures - a difficult to place date of origin, but he was known to have existed at least since the early 19th Century, He has obvious similarities to the far older figure of Anansi - with several Br’er Rabbit tales even taking elements of Anansi stories verbatim - though with a the notable difference that unlike Anansi, Br’er Rabbit was more often a heroic figure: an underdog and seemingly downtrodden figure who used his wits and his enemies’ hubris rather than physical force to win the day. The meaning of that kind of figure to an enslaved people is obvious, especially when you compare Br’er Rabbit to another, contemporary trickster figure in African American history by the name of John. Br’er Rabbit’s stories could even arguably be seen as a more child-friendly version of the John tales, in which a human trickster pulls the same kind of momentum turning ploys on villains - but those villains tended to be explicitly slave masters or overseers, and John’s payback often came with explicitly deadly results. The existence of John as escapism for the enslaved or just-post-enslaved (IE Reconstruction) populations is clear: a person who with no power who could fight back with nothing but their mind, preying on the fact that their enemies see them as incapable and helpless, and the connection of Br’er Rabbit to that message is difficult to deny. If anything, Br’er Rabbit comes off as a somewhat more child-friendly version of the concept.

But the most important thing to glean from this is who and what Br’er Rabbit is: a product of the African American community and its history, as a means of those people to express themselves and their values in the face of oppression.

Now we fast forward to 1881, and along comes Joel Chandler Harris: a white Georgian. Harris was a folklorist himself, and travelled the country collecting stories - most famously Br’er Rabbit stories. His stated reason was to bridge African American and white communities by sharing stories, but he was tainted by the perspectives of his world and his place in it, infamously creating a framing narrative for those stories in which the character telling them exuded the imagery of subservience and simplicity that was typical of perceptions of African Americans from the post-Civil War Southern environment in which he collected them: Uncle Remus, in other words. Harris is hardly the only white curator who adapted stories of black or brown peoples in a way that played up the people the stories came from as something of a theme park piece, as if noble in unintelligence and simplicity, but he’s one of the most famous ones to do so - and that’s because of the adaptation. To note, when people criticize cultural appropriation, this is the kind of thing that really triggers the outrage. Not any situation in which a white person is inspired by someone who isn’t white and creates something accordingly, but situations where someone else’s creation is taken and used for the fame and profit of others, to the detriment of the people who made it. It’s these situations like the one Joel Chandler Harris created centuries ago, specifically, that people are trying to draw attention to - even if sometimes social media gets a bit trigger happy sometimes, that’s the real, underlying problem. With that in mind, let’s put that aside and move forward.

Fast forward again to 1946. Walt Disney Productions, then less the company of grander, wider scale stories of epic quests and emotional upheaval that make us all cry and more a company more known for folktale adaptations in general, were looking for a but of American folklore to headline a live action, animation mix - a medium that allowed a bit more financial benefit, as straightforward animation was not always particularly profitable those dates. This wouldn’t be the last time they produced an adaptation of an American folktale or short story - their version of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow a few years later being actually one of the more faithful adaptations of that short story put to film. Disney, who evidently read Chandler Harris’ stories, put together a project to see if they could adapted. Which they did. Pretty much verbatim. This is actually worth pointing out: the actual Br’er Rabbit stories in the films are very accurately adapted, and the actors involved in the story (including James Baskett, how also played Uncle Remus) did a fine job characterizing them. The issue is that Disney also adapted Chandler Harris’ stereotypical and offensive framing device pretty much verbatim, bringing Uncle Remus. And therein lies the problem.

To put the issue with Song of the South in perspective, the movie - with the framing device - can be categorized as something called Reconstruction Revisionism - which is basically a genre of post-Civil War media meant to present the pre-war South was perfect and idyllic, and that people are racially more natural in that environment’s dynamic and never should have left. One of the most infamous movies in history, Birth of a Nation, is the crowning example of this genre. Obviously, Song of the South is nowhere near as awful and inflammatory a movie as that, but there’s a degree to which it was seen as the straw the broke the camel’s back for black depictions in media, only a couple of years after Disney’s Dumbo also did the same. The end result, an African American creation was used in a film that ultimately demeaned the African American community, a decision that Disney has been ashamed of ever since.

Fast forward to now. Disney is removing Splash Mountain, the sole remnant of Song of the South that focuses exclusively on Br’er Rabbit - a choice we’ve had reason to suspect was coming for about a year now, but which was unveiled conspicuously in the middle of protests and campaigning for better treatment of people of African descent worldwide. The reveal was a rousing success, with people applauding the decision to finally wipe away the rest of that movie - though remember that for later, that the response relies on the perception of Br’er Rabbit as something that starts with Song of the South - and replace it with something else. Surely, as a black person I should be happy that they’re finally getting rid of that racist character for good and replacing him with something more positive? And again, well…

To put short, Br’er Rabbit has finished his journey from African cultural symbol to discarded pariah, all because others used the character in racist ways that they themselves now regret. And for that… let’s be clear, I’m not angry so much as saddened. I’m not railing against the company for making the choice, since I can see how from their point of view it was the wisest and most progressive thing to do. Song of the South is a badly old fashioned movie that they’re right to want to move on from, and it’s their right to downplay characters within their purview if those characters reflect badly on the company. I’m just outlining the tragic waste of it all.

For now, compare Princess and the Frog - the thing they’re replacing it with. I do love the movie, or at least any problems I have with it have little to do with representation, and I definitely don’t have anything against Musker and Clements and their beautiful visions and creations, but it’s difficult to deny that its an adaptation of a European story, adapted by a collection of mostly white creators (with Rob Edwards comprising but one third of the screenwriting team, but not of story conception), that’s ultimately just dolled up with African Americans characters and a very Hollywood-esque depiction of a African diaspora religion (Voodoo, which unfortunately has a long history of such portrayals). If we’re talking about representation specifically - which this move had definitely been presented as a champion for - it’s not the perfect example, more of a story with a surface covering of the black experience than one with an especially strong connection. That wouldn’t necessarily be a problem (Tiana and her story do well depict strong black characterizations, and approach an interesting (if light_ implication about racism and hardship during the 1920s) if Disney had yet created any other franchise that was another actual adaptation of an African or African American tale or story (with involvement from such actual people), but Song of the South is actually it. They legitimately have nothing else to call on.

This is something I feel we should do more to remedy. I am a writer/prospective screenwriter myself, and trying to put more stories out there is one of my primary focuses and goals should I ever truly enter the industry, but at the moment we just don’t have very many options.

This is hardly the only time that people of color have had little control over depictions of their own culture - literary and film history is full of such situations in both minor and terribly major ways - but it’s something that stings especially hard due to being such a current example, and because of sheer irony of the end result. Now we have a situation where African Americans are being told that something their people created to represent themselves is negative and wrong, because years ago other people appropriated that creation and used it to paint a negative picture of the people who actually held claim over it, and now the enterprise that those people created wants to save face: another example of culture being treated like a possession of the ones who are poised to make money of off it. And what’s worse, while the culture is used and abused like trash, the people are now presented with this removal like it was a prize - like they’re finally being given something - when little has really changed.

Ultimately, the Splash Mountain news - though it had been coming for a while - made me rather upset for that reason. As a studier of folklore, I suppose I knew better than most where these things came from, and so the buzz around the move being a belief that Br’er Rabbit was an intrinsically racist character just highlighted the tragedy of how African Americans and their culture tended to be tossed about by American media. So no matter what, I can’t feel particularly happy about it.

Let me iterate, in the film industry, being represented by people who aren’t of your culture group is basically inevitable. That’s essentially how the industry works. I’m not saying we should rail against anyone who would try to represent cultures that aren’t their own. The people who produce and create are few, and eventually the truth is that you have to be represented by other people - at least for the moment. We shouldn’t be railing against representation by others in general, as that wouldn’t be cognizant of the situation and thus self destructive. What I’m saying is that we - both we trying to be represented, and those doing the representing - should be aware of the problem there: that when others choose to represent you in media, you essentially have to trust them to have a real interest in you and your best interests when doing so, and when they don’t that depiction is there forever. So it behooves us to try to be the ones who are representing ourselves as much as possible, and in situations where we can’t, to remind those who want to represent us that they have a responsibility to do so effectively.

This is Animated Minds for Animated Times, and really this blog is ultimately about emphasizing what makes animated media work, what makes it fun, and what makes it worthwhile no matter how old you are. And so in several years of sporadic and infrequent reviews, reactions and fandom posts it’s been rare for me to get this real about a topic, but this is something that is a serious issue feel was overlooked. Representation is complicated. And more often than not solutions that are handed to us are more band-aids that look like cures than necessarily being actually helpful, and that’s what happens when ultimately the decisions about how you’re represented lie in the hands of other people. Representation is one of the biggest things we need to work on in coming years, especially with stories and adaptations - which refer to history and culture that are often not widely known or accepted. Ask someone if they think there should be an African princess, and they’ll tell you they didn’t even have kings and queens in Africa - something that’s bluntly wrong, but is widely believed simply because those elements of culture are never represented.

And that’s the sum of my thoughts on the subject. I hadn’t updated the blog in months because this whole thing was stewing in me, and I couldn’t really go back to cheerful posts about new things until I got it out. I’ve got great thoughts about the Owl House, Amphibia, the new seasons of BH6 and Ducktales that are totally coming up soon. But for now, just a few sobering thoughts from someone who grew up loving cartoons, and desperately wishes people like me had more to look at in that field beyond apologies and promises.

#splash mountain #disney #song of the south #the princess and the frog #brer rabbit #social commentary #black lives matter #representation #walt disney world #joel chandler harris #uncle remus #cultural appropriation #real talk

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ravnicaforgoblins · 3 years

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Ravnica for Goblins

More Awesome NPCs of Ravnica

NPCs are one of the most important tools in a DM’s campaign. Your assorted guards, informants, bartenders, hench-persons, random civilians, and, of course, your quest-givers. Optimistically, you hope to have certain NPCs stick around for a while to have the party build a relationship with them, as opposed to getting murder-hobo-ed because your party doesn’t like their attitude. Which is why it’s so great that Ravnica is filled with cool NPCs who are definitely stronger than your party (for a while)!

A couple notes; I already did a list of Awesome NPCs, focusing on the Ladies of Ravnica, so this time I thought I’d try and give the boys (and Melek) some spotlight. Secondly, as I’ve by now made annoyingly apparent, I’m focusing on characters in the modern era of Ravnica, i.e. after the Decamillennial, because everything before the Decamillennial is a nightmare to figure out and you don’t need that headache.

Tajic, Blade of the Legion

You can’t have the Boros without Tajic. Well, you can, but you don’t want to. Tajic is the Legion’s Champion as well as their Mazerunner, and embodies all the ideals the Legion stands for. Unity, strength, passion; an unbreakable shield against all who would threaten Ravnica’s citizens. He is technically considered a Firefist, but special considerations should be made to give him the flavor he really deserves. Both of Tajic’s MTG cards have had some manner of protection against damage when involving other creatures. In addition, Firefists are actually primarily spellcasters, whereas Tajic is never seen without a blade in his hand or his name. So, to sum up, take a Firefist, add in some manner of damage resistance or even immunity contingent upon having allies present, throw in a weapon trick or two for his big wavy sword, and ta-da! You’ve got Tajic!

Momir Vig, Simic Visionary

I know I said no pre-Decamillennial, but Momir Vig is a special case. Technically, the former Guildmaster is dead, but the shadow of his reign still lingers over the Simic Combine. Momir Vig symbolizes everything Ravnica fears about the Combine; progress without restraint. Vig’s cytoplasts were oozes designed for personalized evolution in subjects to correct flaws and deficiencies (regrowing lost limbs, bolstering weakened immune systems, extra brain cells, etc). The only problem is that the project worked so well that Vig stopped seeing the need for consent, creating a new form of cytoplast that only needs to touch a host to bond with it. This raised some understandable concerns among Ravnican citizens, as well as the other Guilds. These concerns went to 11 when Vig’s Project Kraj, a gargantuan organism composed of thousands of cytoplasts, was activated to purge Ravnica and start over with a fresh slate. They went to a further 12 when Vig was killed, Project Kraj summoned every cytoplasm back to it (maiming, crippling, or killing a large number of hosts), and proceeded to go on a rampage that only ended after it ate Rakdos and went into a coma.

Momir Vig is exactly the kind of mad scientist to escape the grave, go underground, and continue his research unimpeded until it’s ready. A Rogue Guildmaster with no boundaries, or as we like to call it, a ready-made Big Bad.

Melek, Izzet Paragon

As with Vig, Melek is canonically dead, but that sort of “dead” that could conceivably be temporary if the story requires it. Melek is a Weird designed by Niv-Mizzet himself to be the Izzet Mazerunner. A certain sparkmage had other ideas however, so he absorbed the sentient being of pure elemental energy into himself at the start of the Maze and took its place, then tried to shock the other runners to death because, you know, winning. But following the physics principle that energy cannot be created or destroyed, only changed into a different form, it’s believable that Melek could return someday. Probably with a grudge against said sparkmage. Melek is a fascinating build, combining high-level spellcasting with complete elemental resistance or possibly even immunity. Basically, a wizard who can tank. Even more intriguing, any lab run by a being composed of pure energy would be calibrated to channel said energy, possibly allowing short-range teleportation within said lab. This is a brilliant exercise in lair mechanics, so don’t hold back. Lest we forget Melek is a personal project of the Firemind, aka, the single most brilliant, powerful, and egocentric fire-breathing ancient dragon wizard in Ravnican history.

Tomik Vrona, Distinguished Advokist

Given the Orzhov Syndicate’s seeming fascination with being a faceless hierarchy of priests, lawmages, ghosts, tax collectors, etc; it’s nice to have another face with a name. Tomik Vrona is a lawmage who apprenticed under Teysa Karlov herself, making him a master of Ravnican law. It also makes him uncharacteristically open to relationships with other Guilds, as he is effectively Teysa’s link to the outside world during her imprisonment. Tomik carries a strong respect for the law, but is a passionate lover of interesting & creative loopholes. In short, he’s not inherently evil/greedy like most of the Syndicate, but still has ambition in spades. He prefers to use gargoyles for transportation, treasures every book he owns, and is canonically dating/living with that hot-tempered sparkmage mentioned previously. Whether the relationship is public or not is up to you. I personally see it as a measure of trust between the NPCs and the party; it’s a pretty controversial pairing of Guilds. It could even be a Romeo & Juliet (Julio?) kind of affair, just putting that out there.

Vorel of Hull Clade

If Momir Vig represents the dark side of the Simic Combine’s experiments, Vorel represents the infinite possibility they can offer. A former Gruul shaman, he made the decision to give up a piece of his clan’s territory to a Boros Legion garrison to better fortify their home turf, and was nearly killed when they turned on him for perceived cowardice. Vorel escaped and joined the Combine, where he was given Merfolk traits and an environment that embraced his ideas & strategic thinking. Vorel is extremely grateful to his new Guild, and believes himself to be an example of how anything is possible through the Simic, no matter one’s origins. His strong passion & drive have led to great breakthroughs, but he’s definitely more emotionally-driven than most Simic researchers. Here is a Biomancer that isn’t afraid to get dirty or bloody in combat. This could be a fun experiment in crafting a Simic Melee Weapon.

Tolsimir Wolfblood, Ledev Guardian

You know that one leader elf in fantasy stories who everyone else takes orders from but never fights themselves? Yeah, this isn’t that elf. This is what you wish that elf was, a warrior archer who leads his soldiers into battle atop a giant dire wolf and kicks some serious ass. The Ledev are Selesnya’s elite mounted force, skilled fighters, archers, swordsmen, and even spellcasters. They are the cavalry, the breaking dawn on Hornburg, the “oh shit” in an enemy’s mouth. Please don’t make the mistakes of countless fantasy novels by being on bad terms with such badass warriors. Having any member of the Ledev behind you should be a boost to the party’s courage & resolve. Having Tolsimir fight alongside you should be one of the greatest honors of your life. The chance to finally recreate that “besties” relationship between Legolas & Gimli as you see who can kill the most enemies in battle.

Domri Rade, City Smasher

I hesitate to include Domri, I genuinely do. He’s a scraggly little punk who nearly brought about the destruction of the Gruul (and all of Ravnica) ultimately because he was too weak and too stupid. I include him here out of respect for the lore, but you can honestly do better. Domri Rade was considered too small & weak for any Gruul clan, so he instead bonded with the savage animals of the Rubblebelt, eventually discovering he could incite them into stampedes at will. This new power finally granted him admission into Borborygmos’ own Burning Tree Clan, but he panicked during the burial rite of passage and planeswalked away for the first time. Eventually he learned to control his powers, returned to the Rubblebelt, challenged Borborygmos for leadership of the Burning Tree clan, and won by sending wave after wave of stampeding boars to trample the cyclops Guildmaster. He was enlisted by Nicol Bolas to help destroy Ravnica, and failed to realize that meant him too as an eternal ripped out his Planeswalker Spark, killing him. Domri Rade is basically a cheap knockoff of Garruk Wildspeaker, only smaller and weaker and dumber and infinitely less dangerous. He is, however, considered by many to be an omen of the End-Raze, heralding the return of the Boar God Ilharg and the burning down of Ravnica by the Gruul who follow the Old Ways. So maybe play up that angle if you include him in your campaign.

Ral Zarek, Izzet Viceroy

If you only include one NPC from any of my lists in your Ravnica campaign, you must include Ral Zarek. Failing to do so is denying your players the opportunity to interact with the single coolest character in Ravnica. He beats out Vraska for the sole reason that he’s a much more public & accessible figure than the Gorgon Assassin, and an unexpected encounter with him is significantly less likely to end in your death/petrification. Between his good looks, cocky grin, brilliant mind, and lightning powers that put Thor to shame; Ral is certain to make any situation more interesting. He’s a great contact to have within the Izzet, a brilliant researcher, extremely talented with designing gadgets or magic items, an astonishingly powerful magic user, and a fun guy to hang around with. He can definitely have a temper on him, so understand when to back away. Hint: His hair turns from black to white when his electromancy powers are activating. You’ll also probably notice the sounds of static discharge building up around him, perhaps a faint smell of ozone, crackling energy coming from his gauntlet, and, oh yeah, his eyes glow and his smile turns into a growling grimace of death as he fills you with lightning. Whether by design or accident, Ral is basically the mascot for Ravnica, and it’s almost unthinkable for him to be absent from a campaign set there.

#ravnica for goblins #ravnica #goblins #D&D #D&D 5e #dungeons and dragons #mtg #ral zarek #domri rade #tajic #momir vig #tolsimir wolfblood #tomik vrona #vorel #melek #roleplaying #npcs

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rabble-dabble · 3 years

Text

The Cancer King's Court ~ The Humans

Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde, and Jade Harley/The Crimson Defender, The Lady Clairvoyant, and The Witch Scientist.

This version of Dave Strider came very close to becoming Davesprite in his timeline. Up until his final conversation with Rose.

Dave can’t stand the thought of leaving Rose to die all alone by herself. He’d grown close to her after spending so long with her in a doomed timeline. He couldn’t bare to lose her. So, he gets an idea.

If he goes God-Tier, he could potentially bring Rose back in time with him. So, Dave puts off time traveling back in exchange for reaching his quest bed. Upon going God-Tier, Dave brings Rose with him back in time to save her life, seeing how he can now just fly over to her planet and pick her up.

The two explain their situation to their doppelgangers, causing them both to pester John to try and stop him from following Terezi’s advice. Like in canon, John reconsiders and manages to avoid dying. God-Tier Dave is now able to steamroll the challenges of LOHAC with ease, guiding everyone and their counterparts to their quest beds so that they can reach God-Tier as well. Ultimately, this seems like the best case scenario…. until everyone discovers the timeline is now doomed.

Simply put, Dave was supposed to become Davesprite and Rose was supposed to be left behind. Because that didn’t happen, Paradox Space judged the session to be void.

This effects Dave more than he lets on, since it was his decision to take Rose with him in the first place. Both Roses are able to sus this out pretty easily, even as he tries to bottle it up, and they motivate John, Jade, and Other Dave to comfort him. The Roses conclude that the Horrorterrors may be able to help them, so they go to them for guidance.

The Horrorterrors remember a similar situation with one of their “chosen”, so they inform The Invincible Heir of the situation. Equius gets Karkat to bring him and Nepeta in to investigate. After seeing how well they’ve managed to ace their session, the Meowrails decide it would be a good idea to get some of them to join the Court.

Equius approaches the Roses first, believing them to be “human highbloods of proper breeding and stature” that he can easily approach. While they mistake his mannerisms for humility at first, they quickly put the pieces together and explain, no, humans don’t have a caste system. Nepeta takes Equius aside so he can recuperate and the two come back after a moment. They explain that they may have a means of salvaging their doomed timeline. However, it would require some morally dubious actions.

While the moirails do preface the info with the knowledge that all these atrocities will be undone, the Roses are still pretty horrified. They meet up with humans to discuss this and, at first, it seems like everyone is in favor of rejecting the offer outright. Until Dave speaks up. He and Rose came from a doomed timeline because John was manipulated. They ended up landing right in another one because Dave trying to save his only remaining friend was arbitrarily declared a mistake. Who’s to say that this isn’t happening to thosands of other versions of them across the multiverse?

Rose recognizes he’s only saying this to vent out his guilt and counters that they have no way of knowing if the offer is legitimate. Equius and Nepeta’s explanation sounded almost cultish from their perspective, after all. Dave immediately concedes and almost finds himself confessing how much all of this is weighing on him.

Then John and Jade raise their points. If these guys are willing to kill thousands of people, what will they do to them if they refuse the offer? A doubly valid point, seeing how the Court specifically targets God-Tiers.

Silence reigns over the humans. Equius and Nepeta had been so polite that they hadn’t even considered how pressed up against the wall they were.

So, they change gears into figuring out a plan to beat the Cancer King’s Court.

Dave, Rose, and Jade decide to go undercover. Pretending to agree to the offer so that they could find intel to Other Dave, Other Rose, and John. After all, the Court would probably be interested in having a Time Player, a Space Player, and a Seer on their team. The home team would still have two of those advantages at least, so their not losing much.

Dave, Rose, and Jade meet up with the moirails and say that they agree, on the sole condition that Other Dave, Other Rose, and John are spared. Equius and Nepeta agree and the three and inducted in.

Karkat doesn’t buy this for a second.

From what he remembers, the humans are a lot more intolerant of morally dubious actions. So, he decides to test their loyalty. He sends the three of them to gather up a bunch of God-Tiers for him to absorb, sending Gamzee with them so he can poke and prod at their minds all the while. Gamzee reports back that they’re spies after reading their minds and asks permission to kill them. Karkat shuts that down and chews him out for it. He instead takes the humans aside so he can convince them.

Firstly, he proves his intentions to them by making a big show of reviving a timeline left destroyed by Lord English in front of the whole Court, instructing them to act like this is a normal thing. He allows the destoyed civilizations within to rebuild and guides them to prosper. Then, he shows them what The Condescension is capable of with her current power, letting them witness how she bends fate to her will. If he has that power, he could not only fix their doomed timelines, but save all doomed timelines everywhere.

He leaves them to think things over and immediately begins indoctrinating the revived timeline into his army. Another pawn towards his end game. They are indebted to their King, after all.

From the humans perspective, however, he made incredibly valid points. He revived an entire timeline, showing that his good intentions are genuine. Plus, the Condescension shows just what kind of horrific evil he’s up against and the kind of power he’ll have by the end of it. That last note leaves Rose hesitant. Power corrupts, after all. Dave and Jade are a lot more trusting, out of desperation and naivety respectively.

But, all the same, they know their friends probably won’t accept this. Rose elects to be the one to give the intel. They all agree, she’s the only one capable of lying to them. Even if it hurts like hell.

The Humans play the same role in the Court as Tavros does. People are more inclinded to trust them, so they’re good for gathering up God-Tiers. And, if they need to drag those God-Tiers in by force, a Time Player and a Space Player are hard to beat.

The Humans get along well with the trolls, all things considered. It helps that they couldn’t spend much time with them and are going in with a mostly clean slate.

The sole exception is Dave and Terezi. After all, Terezi is the whole reason Dave’s timeline was doomed. Terezi is willing to accept full responsibility, however, and apologizes for what her counterpart did in his timeline.

The two are able to get past that eventually, but Terezi soon starts asking some uncomfortable questions.

“JOHN’S TRUST 1N YOU S4V3D H1S L1F3. DON’T YOU F33L… D1RTY B3TR4Y1NG H1M L1K3 TH1S?”

“ok but like i’m not though. he’ll understand that. …he has to.”

How much of that is The Hung Jury and how much is Main Terezi, I’ll leave up to you.

Conversations between Rose and Kanaya are awkward here. Their romance was a bit of a boil. Rose barely knows this Kanaya, which throws her through a loop given they’re narried married in this timeline. The whole thing is rather surreal for both of them.

Ironically, the troll Rose spends most of her time with is Gamzee. Gamzee insists on having “smart sister poke around in this thinkpan of mine”. While Rose enjoys psycho analyzing him, that’s not what he’s there for. In truth, he’s planting thoughts into her head psionically. Making her side with the King more. He knows she’s the weak link in the human’s loyalty, so he’s going to keep her on lock.

Conversely, Jade spends most of her time with Tavros. They bond over a shared love of animals and over their timelines getting screwed for actions well outside their control. It helps that Tav is still nursing his crush on her. She’s lucky Gamzee hasn’t noticed.

To the King, the humans are among him most effective enforcers. If only their friends could see them now…

OKAY THE HUMANS BEING SMART IN THE BEGINNING AND THINKING LIKE “But what happens to us if we don’t go along” I LOVE I VERY MUCH LOVE THANKS

also I’m torn at the thought that dave is just thinking he fucked up because he wanted to save everyone even the doomed ones and he believes it’s his fault for making this doomed timeline I'm ;0;

AND THEN THE LYING LIKE I MIGHT CRY

also i’d like to think that john, double rose and double dave definitely knows somethings the Fuck Up (or at least rose and dave, john on the sense that he knows his friends are definitely more antsy around them now) and also that they hang out and converse a lot just being “left alone” in that timeline while their friends go obey king karkat’s orders. i mean they wouldn’t just SIT there, not dave or especially rose, so I bet they’d also kinda go out in the furthest ring in their timeline to try and find some info on cancer king while their friends are away. and then they might become a threat....

JSAHDFKASHDJ IM GOING TOO LONGER HERE’S YA ART!!

i mixed the three into kinda “team uniforms” because i’d imagine as being humans and having a very bad relationship with trolls in general (hello john almost dying called?? they want their timeline back) and when they first joined it kinda inforced on them that they’re a team collecting info for their friends back in the other timeline and looking like BFF gang with their stupid cool hoodies and jeans (lol!)

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pheedraws · 3 years

Text

Life Day

Pairing: (The tentative beginnings of) Din Djarin x Nova Reed (OC)

Word Count: 1.9K

Warnings: None, just pure festive cheese...

A/N: So, uh... I don’t think I’ve finished a fic, let alone posted one anywhere, since 2014. I’m a lil rusty. But, I recently discovered I’ve been bitten by the Mando-writing bug and I physically cannot stop, so... for better or worse, here goes.

Takes place within the gap between Chapter 8 “Redemption” and Chapter 9 “The Marshal”.

(I know Life Day is technically in November, but c’mon. It’s still festive.)

"What... is this?"

The Mandalorian studied the small box before him. It looked innocent enough; brightly wrapped, perched delicately on his seat in the Razor Crest's cockpit. There was no real reason for him to suspect the innocuous thing, yet he found himself puzzled by it all the same.

How did it get there?

The bounty hunter wracked his brain for an answer. It wasn't his name-day; in fact, he couldn't recall ever telling anyone his name-day...

So what was it?

"It's Life Day," his companion answered nonchalantly, not looking up from the blaster she was cleaning. "It's a gift."

"Life Day?"

"Yeah." She looked up from her work then, smiling warmly at the bounty hunter. "You know... Wookie festival, day of celebration..."

"I know what it is." His brows furrowed beneath the helmet. "I just... hadn't realised it was today."

Nova laughed, sweeping the loose screws on the table back into her toolkit, cursing under her breath when one bounced onto the floor and rolled out of sight. "I hadn't either- not until we visited the bazaar yesterday. We've been so busy lately; I lost all track of the date..."

The Mandalorian hummed in agreement. They hadn't stayed in one place for more than two days since... well, he couldn't recall. Their quest to find other Mandalorians, to return the kid to his own kind, had taken them to the far reaches of the galaxy, trawling through the Outer Rim in search of answers. It was merely a coincidence that Life Day had fallen on the one quiet day they'd had to simply breathe since the showdown on Nevarro.

Din picked the gift up off the seat, cradling it somewhat awkwardly in his palms. "You didn't have to do this for me."

"I wanted to. It's... a tradition, of sorts." Nova sighed, drumming her fingers on the table in a pattern he'd become familiar with during their travels together. At the curious tilt of the Mandalorian's helmet, she continued. "My mother... When she was on Coruscant, in the Jedi Temple? The celebrations were huge." She smiled, closing her eyes at the memory. "She'd tell me all about them, even show me- painting pictures with her words and the Force, always telling me she'd take me to see the real thing one day..."

His companion trailed off, her tone becoming somewhat bittersweet.

"We never got to go there, in the end. But... I always celebrated it, even when I was on Tatooine. It... kept her memory alive, I suppose. No matter where I was in the galaxy or who I was with, I'd get those special to me a little something to commemorate the day. "

Those special to me. Din noted the faint blush on her cheeks, grey eyes widening slightly at the realisation of what she had said. He smiled softly at the sight; thankful the helmet hid his own expression from view.

Stepping away from the console, the Mandalorian slowly made his way over to the table his companion sat at, taking the seat opposite her.

"I got the kid something too, of course." The pair glanced over to the corner of the ship where the child sat playing with a distinctly bantha-shaped plush toy, chirping happily to himself.

Din smiled at scene before him. "He seems quite taken with it already."

He paused for a moment, studying the gift in his hands once more; turning the small box this way and that, admiring the red paper and the way it almost glistened in the light of the setting sun streaming in through the windows of the Crest.

The silence that fell over the cockpit was not an awkward one, and yet... Din felt compelled to fill it, to give her something in return for all the patience and compassion she had shown him since fate threw them together.

And so, Din gave her a glimpse of the only thing he had to give, the only thing that was ever truly his and his alone; his past.

"In the Tribe, we didn't... I never... I haven't celebrated Life Day since I was a child, before I became a foundling."

Her eyes widened at his words, and he couldn't fault her reaction. The bounty hunter had always been... guarded around her, around everyone; never revealing more than he absolutely had to at any given time. He'd never spoken about his past to anyone before, not even the Tribe.

This is the way. The only way he'd ever known.

And yet... opening himself to others, having his soul be seen though his face was hidden... it didn't feel like such a betrayal anymore, not now.

Not with her.

"My parents..." Din paused at the memory, eyes sliding shut. He had found himself thinking about them... of their sacrifice more and more as of late, ever since taking the child under his wing. I suppose it's only natural, given the circumstances... "They would always do something to celebrate. It was just the three of us- we didn't have anyone else, but... it always felt... special."

He thought back to the days on his home planet, the warmth of his family. Din had long since buried his old self; he was a Mandalorian now, the creed was all he knew... but the memories remained, tucked away safely in the recesses of his mind, sheltered from the corrupting touch of time.

For years, Din hadn't given more than a passing thought to his old life. He remembered... that day in vivid detail, could recall the events that led up to his initiation as a foundling almost perfectly even years later, but everything else... It was as if it had simply slipped from the forefront of his mind, his subconscious shutting it out lest he lose sight of his new life. His new creed.

Nevarro changed all of that.

Piece by piece, his carefully shrouded identity had been pulled out from beneath him, bleeding out on the floor of that cantina. He had seen his parents in the events transpiring around him, their fate mirroring his own... until it hadn't. It hadn't been his time, but the ghosts stayed with him.

He wondered if they always would.

Gloved fingers finally pulled at the paper, taking care not to damage the delicate box beneath it.

When the Mandalorian caught sight of the gift's contents, he froze.

It... it can't be...

They had been exploring the local markets when he'd seen them; their sweet smell drawing his attention to a stall on the outskirts of the bazaar. He'd thought it simply a trick of his mind at first, his ordeal on Nevarro making him... sentimental, seeing things that weren't there; simply echoes of the times that had flashed before his eyes as he lay injured in the cantina, forever taunting him though the danger had now passed.

But as he neared the stand, feet carrying him in its direction before he could even truly think about the decision, he had found it to be no mere trick of the mind.

There, sat snugly in neat rows on the stall before him, bright colours dancing in the midday sun, were the sweets he'd grown to love as a child; the same sweets his family had indulged in each Life Day.

They'd had to leave the markets soon after his discovery, the Mandalorian pulling himself out of his... uncharacteristic slip long enough to urge his companions back to the Razor Crest, lest they stay in one place too long and draw any unwanted attention.

The job always comes first.

The sweets had been mostly forgotten about soon after, the unlikely clan shifting seamlessly back into their normal routines, thoughts solely on the journey ahead of them...

Until now.

"Where did you get these?" How did she know?

"I saw you in the markets. You were... fixated on those sweets. I felt bad that we had to get back to the ship before you had a chance get some, so..." She smiled softly, gesturing to the box before him with a nod of her head. "I made a detour."

He couldn't take his eyes off the sweets; their colours, their smell... It all seemed so much more real here than they had done in the markets. He could touch them, see the powdered sugar left behind on his gloves, mind filling with memories of his father laughing at a younger Din for spilling the fine powder all over his robes in his enthusiasm to sample the sweet treats.

The sudden bittersweet rush of nostalgia knocked Din off-kilter.

"I-" He paused, a knot forming in his throat at the sight of the sweets sat perfectly in their box. "Thank you."

Maker, he hoped she couldn't hear the waver in his voice.

"I hope I picked out the right ones..." Nova continued, concerned slightly by the silent demeanour of the Mandalorian. Din had always been quiet, but this was... different. "I was careful when I went back to the markets, I know you don't like-"

Din reached over the table to gently grasp his companion's hand, effectively halting her rambled worries.

"They're... perfect." His voice was tight with an emotion he wasn't sure he wanted to share with the woman, an emotion he wasn't entirely sure of himself, so he hoped and prayed the squeeze of his hand around hers spoke the words he couldn't. Not yet. "Thank you."

Nova smiled, shoulders visibly relaxing at the reassurance. "You're welcome."

Seemingly drawn in by the sweet scents, small hands tugged at the straps of Nova's boots, the woman leaning over in her seat to bring the inquisitive child up onto her lap. "Hey there, little one."

Though the child's ears fluttered in recognition of her voice, his eyes were focused solely on the sweets on the table, mesmerised by the sight before him. Din couldn't hold back his laugh at the intense look of concentration on the child's little features, knowing all too well the internal debate the youngling was having with himself.

"Here you go, kid." The Mandalorian held out the box in front of the child, watching as his black eyes widened in fascination. "Why don't you give one a try?"

The child cooed happily then, reaching for the small blue sweet in the centre of the box. The treat didn't last long; swiftly disappearing before it even had a chance to be truly savoured. Din chuckled, knowing he had done the same on more than one occasion in his youth, each time earning an exasperated look from his mother.

So alike... yet so different, too.

This time, when Din thought of his family once more... he didn't feel that same sadness, or loss, or regret. He felt only warmth. The shadows of his past, those tendrils of pain and loss and bad memories that had been swirling within his heart since that fateful day on Nevarro, had finally started to settle.

Here, on board this ship with this unlikely clan of three... this aliit... Din felt at ease for the first time in a long while.

The path ahead of them would be treacherous and hard; that much was certain. He didn't know what tomorrow would bring, nor where their path would lead them next. All Din knew was that no matter where their journey took them, they would have this.

And that would always be enough.

"Happy Life Day, Nova."

Din was not a poetic man, nor had he ever claimed to be. But the smile that lit up her face at his words... He could have sworn it shone brighter than any star he'd seen.

"Happy Life Day, Din."

#this... was not meant to be the first fic posted on here #but I had this idea at approximately 11:55 last night and had to drop everything for it #chronology is for people who think ahead #I am not one of those people #The Mandalorian #Star Wars #Din Djarin #Din Djarin x OC #oc: nova reed #x: you feel like home #my writing

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adoredontour · 4 years

Photo

all the fics i read and loved this month, in order from longest to shortest!

For As Long As I Can Remember (It’s Been December) by green_feelings @greenfeelings 128k

After recovering from a severe accident that causes Harry to lose his memory of three years, he moves to London to start his life over as a star chef. Little does he know that when he falls in love with Louis at first sight, it’s not the first time they meet.

Featuring an unintentional game of hot and cold, Harry chasing memories that won’t come back, Louis burying himself in work to try and forget what he can’t forget, Liam being torn between two of his best friends, Zayn as a moral compass and Niall saving the day with good music and brutal honesty.

got the sunshine on my shoulders by hattalove 124k

five years ago, harry styles left his tiny home town to make it big as a recording artist. he didn't have much regard for what he left behind - a life, a family, and a husband, who woke up one morning to find him gone.

now, harry has everything he could possibly want: he's rich, famous, and adored by everyone he meets, including his boyfriend. but when said boyfriend proposes to him, he's forced to face the uncomfortable facts of his past - and louis, who's spent the last five years returning every set of divorce papers harry sent him.

(or, an au based on the movie sweet home alabama.)

Tired Tired Sea by MediaWhore 113k

As a B&B owner on the most remote of all the British Isles, Louis Tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sole companions. Until, one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.

nothing worsens, nothing grows by soldouthaz @soldouthaz 102k

and he sits there quietly with harry’s headphones in his ears while his eyes begin to close, totally unaware that he’s listening to the soundtrack of harry falling in love with him.

or, another roadtrip au featuring harry as the misunderstood hipster, louis as the bitter psych major, liam as the one with the secret boyfriend, and niall as the one who just wants everyone to be happy.

& more under the cut!

Follow Your Arrow by bitter_leaf @bitter-leaf 78k

Harry was the golden child, blessed in every way; Niall was the charming miscreant, a bad boy; Liam was the future-son-in-law parents of daughters dreamt of, and Zayn was the kid parents wished was their son. But Louis, Harry thought, Louis was the special one.

It's senior year and everything is about to change.

somethin’ bout you by missandrogyny @missandrogyny 59k

Of all the government agents in the world, Louis had to go and land the most charming one.

The Recklessness in Water by LarryOn @larryonsimon 50k

Louis Tomlinson is miserable. He's stuck on a family vacation at a lake cabin in New Hampshire when all he wants to do is bemoan his sorry existence and wallow in his sweatpants. As if the humidity and mosquitos weren't bad enough, he becomes the singular target of an obnoxious lifeguard named Harry.

Missed Connection by littlelouishiccups @littlelouishiccups 39k

Soulmate AU where your soulmate’s first words to you are tattooed on your skin.

With a boring and generic soul mark like Hi, Harry is pessimistic he’ll ever find his soulmate or that he’ll realize it when he meets them. But he could always have it worse, like his new friend Louis who had a drunken one night stand with his soulmate a few years ago and woke up the next morning alone.

before we knew by falsegoodnight @risthebrave 39k

“C’mon Lou,” says Zayn after a moment, He sounds even more exasperated than before. Louis sort of has a knack for exasperating people, especially people like Zayn who aren’t usually bothered by his brattiness. “Can’t you give this guy a chance? Harry Styles? Aren’t you curious about him at all?”

Despite his best efforts, Louis still flinches at the name. He really shouldn’t be so affected after all these years. He’s seen the name printed down the curve of his waist in obnoxiously and uncommonly large loopy letters every single day since his sixteenth birthday eight years ago. He’s very familiar with the name Harry Styles.

It sounds pretentious and Louis hates it.

He hates everything about his supposed soulmate.

He hates his large handwriting that stands out like a claim on his skin whenever he’s walking around shirtless. He hates his pretentious name. And now he hates his supposed curls and green eyes and dimples.

Or Louis has been skeptical of soulmates for years so it seems like fate when he finally bumps into the owner of the obnoxiously large signature printed into his skin since age sixteen: Harry Styles, a human rights attorney who is firmly against soulmates.

what’s mine is yours to make your own by soldouthaz @soldouthaz 39k

sometimes, the closest harry ever feels to home is louis. it's their shared hotel rooms on tour, their shoes toed off in the doorway next to each other, jackets hung on the same post.

it's everything he doesn't notice until it's been taken away from him.

And Touch Me Like You Never by runaway_train @runaway-train-works 35k

“Lets move back a bit yeah?” Harry clutches at his waist with a free hand and tugs him to move through the crowd until they are almost at the back of the group and settles them both beside the far wall. “There. That better?”

Louis looks up at him, as if he’s a tad dazed. “Uh, yeah, thanks. Can’t really see much from back here either though.”

Harry lifts a shoulder and grins at him, placing a hand on the wall behind Louis to pen him in. “We’ll just have to create our own fireworks then, won’t we?” He says it jokingly with a wink, and Louis laughs but he seems nervous. He must know that Harry is harmlessly flirting. Harry flirts with everyone after all, including Louis.

“Do you think this is a good idea Haz?” Louis asks quietly, almost too quietly in the clamour of the room, his head bowed as he scuffs his shoe on the carpet.

“Stop over thinking it Lou, it’s one kiss. What’s the worst that could happen?”

The one where Harry and Louis agree to be each other's New Year's kiss and it ends up being a lot more than they bargained for.

last blues for bloody knuckles by creamcoffeelou @2ofusmp4

Styles was a name everyone knew. It had evolved into something of a fairy tale, a far away problem that normal people didn’t have to deal with. Louis never thought he’d find himself falling in love with him. When he finds himself pregnant with Harry’s child, he knows he has to leave the life, and Harry, behind. For her sake.

He never expected Harry to show back up on his doorstep five years later.

A mob au.

like it’s a game by soldouthaz @soldouthaz 32k

there is little harry hates more than truth or dare.

and louis.

gathered on wings by Brooklyn_Babylon @twopoppies 32k

As Harry lay by Louis’ side, covered in sweat and come, he knew he should feel ugly, messy, ruined, like the life he’d left behind. But something about the way Louis looked at him, the way his eyes stared at him with want and awe, made Harry wonder if he’d ever feel this beautiful again.

Harry rolled his eyes at himself for his momentary romantic dreaminess. As good as this was, he knew it was nothing more than sex. He literally couldn’t afford to fall for just anyone, no matter how fit they were.

-----

What Harry Styles wanted was to be taken seriously as an artist. What he needed was a new sugar daddy to pave the way. Louis Tomlinson is an artist who isn’t what Harry is looking for. Somehow he still manages to turn Harry's world upside down.

let’s make a thing of cream and stars by missandrogyny @missandrogyny 24k

It doesn't explain why he's lying on the floor, with Harry Styles, of all people, planking on top of him.

As in, seventeenth most influential person in London, pop-star-turned-rock-star Harry Styles. The same Harry Styles who has had countless model girlfriends, left, right and centre. Also the same Harry Styles who has been the subject of Louis' wet dreams since he was about eighteen.

(Or: Louis is a Radio 1 DJ and Harry is a pop-star he interviews.)

Strong Enough by jacaranda_bloom @jacaranda-bloom 21k

The biggest obstacle is still in place, firmly ensconced as a roadblock, cemented in their path and preventing them from moving forward. The thing is, it’s not actually Harry that’s the problem. Harry, for all his faults, for whatever decisions he’s made to lead to him to where he is in his life right now, would move heaven and earth and all that’s in between to help Liam, to support him. No. It’s Louis. He’s the one that has to reach out. He’s the one that has to let go and get the fuck over himself. It’s been five years for Christ's sake. It’s time to move on and suck it up.

“So…” Liam starts, and Louis instantly knows where this is going. He’s actually glad that it’s Liam that drags the subject out from the shadows and into the world. Louis turns to face him, mirroring his position on the couch and nods, ready for him to continue. “Have you spoken to Harry recently?”

Five years after Vertigo goes on hiatus, the band comes back together for a benefit concert. Can Louis and Harry work through their complicated past, or are some wounds too deep to be healed?

you flower, you feast by stylinsoncity @aliensingucci 18k

He's King of the Underworld, but don't assume Louis has it all. He could stand for some excitement in his monotonous, eternal life and maybe, even.....a soulmate.

(Despite not having a soul.)

And along came "Harry".

The Orchards of Jessop by jaerie @jaerie 15k

At age 40, there isn’t much excitement in widower Louis Tomlinson’s life, but wasn’t that the reason he’d moved to Jessop Island in the first place? Back then he hadn’t thought retiring before he reached 30 and moving to the countryside would mean that he’d be doing it alone. Now, just to fill the space, he welcomes lodgers into his home that pass through working as temporary labourers at the orchards just up the road. They’ve all been young adults eager to start lives of their own after one last summer of freedom.

All of them have been much the same, coming and going from Louis’ house with just enough social interaction to keep the house from feeling so empty. But when a global pandemic shuts down the world, being quarantined with a quiet twenty year old who keeps to himself might turn out to be an awkward arrangement. By the time the restrictions have been lifted, their relationship has developed into something Louis isn’t quite ready to give up. With their twenty year age difference, Louis has to be prepared for the inevitable outcome when the reality shatters the private world they’ve been living in. He’s not sure he’ll be able to let it go.

if i had the chance, the things i would do to you by missandrogyny @missandrogyny 14k

Niall sighs. He leans forward, pushing his mug of tea carefully to the side, before bracing his elbows on the table, chin in his hands. It makes him look like some sort of bottle-blonde cherub. "You have quite the fanbase, Harry. I'm not denying that. And you've done a good job of popping out every once in a while in the past two years, just to make sure you're still talked about. But that's all you've done, and I'm not satisfied. I want more." He blinks at Harry. "Don't you want more?"

(Or: AU where Harry and Louis compete in the Lip Sync Battle)

One Way Road To Something Better by femstyles @femstyles 12k

Four years ago when Louis and Harry moved in together, Louis promised Anne that he’d take care of Harry no matter what. But things don’t always go as planned, and sometimes risky choices have to be made.

Inspired by Don't Let It Break Your Heart

baby look what you’ve done to me by ballsdeepinjesus 9k

The next day kind of turns everything upside down, though. Louis gets another lingerie catalogue addressed to Harry. He’s about to toss it when he sees a personalized note stuck to the front; it thanks Harry for his previous purchases and offers him a complimentary six-month subscription to their magazine free of charge. It’s a unisex lingerie catalogue. Lingerie specifically designed to allow for the existence of penises, apparently, judging from the bulging cocks covered in lace that he sees as he flips through the pages. His breath catches in his throat at the thought of a faceless Harry -- mysterious, odd Harry -- dressed up in his purchases, whatever they may be.

He thinks he needs a lie down, to be honest.

[louis moves into harry's old flat. harry gets a lot of mail.]

golden hearts (light their way back down) by fairytalelights @lookslikefairytale 4k

“..So, top or bottom?” Louis asks when Harry tunes back in. And... what? Harry knew he should have been paying more attention but he has no idea how in the hell Louis explaining camp rules to him could have led to discussing sexual preferences this quickly. He must have smiled and nodded at the wrong place one too many times.

or, the one where Harry’s first day as a summer camp counsellor doesn’t go quite as planned.

Still, Somehow, You’re Perfect Now by FallingLikeThis @fallinglikethis 3k

Harry Styles is Captain of the footie team and all-around popular dude-bro-pal to the entire senior class. He’s kind to everyone from what Louis Tomlinson can tell, and kinder still when he thinks no one is looking. Of course, Louis has been looking. Ever since he transferred schools at the beginning of the year and noticed Harry for the first time, it’s been hard to look away.

All My Friends Are Here by abrighteryellow

He is about to decline, though. If he has to sit through forced merriment, the least he can do is avoid participation at all costs. He is about to, but then the guy with the microphone is looking out into the crowd. He’s saying things, too — about rules and prizes and team names. At least, Louis assumes so. He can’t really hear him over the ringing in his ears.

“Alright, mate. I’ll play.”

A pub quiz has invaded Louis’s favorite dive. Fortunately, it comes with a charming host.

Front porch and one more kiss by Femstyles @femstyles <1k

A goodnight kiss on a front porch

BONUS: (rereads)

Unbelievers by isthatyoularry @isthatyoularry 136k

It’s Louis’ senior year, and he’s dead set on doing it right. However, along with his pair of cleats, a healthy dose of sarcasm and his ridiculous best friend, he’s also got a complicated family, a terrifyingly uncertain future, and a mortal enemy making his life just that much worse. Mortal enemies “with benefits” was not exactly the plan.

Or: The one where Louis and Harry definitely aren’t friends, and football is everything.

Close to Nowhere by angelichl @angelichl 34k

“I will kill you in your sleep,” Louis threatened as he quickly stepped out of his jeans.

“I don’t think that would work very well baby, seeing as you talk to dead people all the time.”

“I’ll kill you in your sleep and ignore your ghost. And don’t call me that.”

Louis and Harry are psychics who kind of hate each other. They go to Tennessee to investigate a haunting.

led by your beating heart by missandrogyny @missandrogyny 24k

Nick leans over. "Oh," he says, his voice smug. "Who is that?"

Harry just blinks at his phone. "Um," he manages to stammer out.

"Who's that, Harry?" Nick asks again, but this time he raises his eyebrows and smirks. Harry knows Nick is just teasing, and that he's not really looking for new Harry Styles gossip, but, um. He might have found something. Accidentally.

Harry opens his mouth to speak, but all that comes out is another 'um'. He really needs to work on translating his thoughts into words. But then it probably wouldn't be any helpful right now, would it? His mind is as blank as a newly erased etch-a-sketch.

"Oh," Nick says again, this time gleefully, seemingly having picked up on Harry's distress. "Looks like we've got a story here! Are you going to call or delete her number?"

Her number. So Nick thinks it's a girl. Well, Harry can't blame him: 'Lou' is kind of an androgynous nickname. His stylist's name is Lou.

But this Lou, well, Louis, he's kind of, really, really not a girl. He's really pretty though, which, is something.

(Or: AU where Harry's in One Direction, Louis isn't, and they reconnect over a game of 'Call or Delete'.)

#monthly fic rec #rec #28th appreciation #fic rec

130 notes · View notes

space-------kid · 4 years

Note

Ack! It’s perfectly okay! But in short, Akaza, not hakuji, is human, still apart of the 12 moons, meets a flower shop owner, who after becoming friends with, ends up showing him a flower that they found, the blue spider lily, the flower of which he needs, and he contemplates over turning it in and potentially risking the owner’s safety (cause like, hey, where’d ya get the flower) and keeping here and potentially getting in trouble for not finding it. Maybe smol angst with a fluff ending?

Thank you for your patience, understanding, and clarification - I appreciate them very much! 😭💕💕💕

I hope you like what I come up with, anon! 😊💕

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

𝓰𝓸𝓸𝓭𝓫𝔂𝓮, 𝓶𝓻. 𝓯𝓵𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓮𝓯 𝒽𝓊𝓂𝒶𝓃!𝒜𝓀𝒶𝓏𝒶 𝓍 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

The strum of Nakime’s biwa is the last thing he hears before he is transported away from the Dimensional Infinity Fortress. Akaza gets up from his kneeling position, sleep-deprived and mentally exhausted from his meeting with the demon he calls his master. Behind him, the sun is starting to rise from the horizon, signifying a new day he has to face with only one thing in mind.

Despite his abhorrence for humans, Kibutsuji Muzan finds it in himself to tolerate the presence of the only man occupying a spot among his Twelve Demon Moons, more so giving said man the title of Upper Moon Three – the rank branded on his back. Human though he may be, Akaza knows that Muzan favours him along with the top two Upper Moons because of his many uses. For one, no one will suspect that a human like him is willingly working for a demon. And two, he proves to be more useful in the progenitor of the demon’s search for the mysterious blue spider lily - having the capacity to look for the flowers in broad daylight rather than being limited by night. Perhaps these are simply the reason why Akaza hasn’t been turned into a demon yet, and he’d rather not if he’s being completely honest.

The danger of being eaten or mercilessly killed by his fellow Moons remain, however, and it pervades within the ranks of the Lower Moons. While the Upper Moons may have been lenient because they also recognize the uses of a human belonging in the ranks and being of service to Muzan, the Lower ones hate Akaza with a burning passion. How could one measly human gain Muzan’s favour, something they can’t even obtain (maybe with the exception of Lower Five, Rui, who sees Muzan as a father-figure and Akaza some sort of an older brother)?

But Akaza is used to the threats by now. He’s learned to live with every single one of them -- that, after all, is what it means to be a human who chooses to be subservient to the creator of demonkind.

Prepared for another long day ahead of him, Akaza squares his shoulders and sets off on his journey.

Akaza’s trail leads him to a post town called Magome located in the Kiso Valley.

While the town doesn’t look promising enough with regards to his journey, the third Upper Moon still sees the charm of the place itself. He initially plans to stay only for a day and move along with his search, but he hears talk of Demon Slayers converging on the next town he is headed so he decides to lay low for a few days. While he is confident that he can take them on with the use of his Destructive Kill Style - a self-taught Breath Style he has formulated to oppose the Demon Slayers’ - he finds it prudent that secrecy will better help him with his quest for the time being.

Akaza, however, doesn’t count on finding all three inns in the town fully booked. His displeasure must have shown on his face because most of the townspeople have been veering off his general direction. He would have ignored them, but a soft tap on his shoulder sends him turning around to look at whoever it is with a glare.

Looking back, Akaza doesn’t expect that his short stay in Magome will earn him a friend in the form of [Name], an unassuming yet kind owner of the sole flower shop in the town. She has heard of his plight and - as her usual routine - offers to let him stay in her home above the shop. Akaza wants to turn down her request for he barely knows her save for some of the townsfolk encouraging him to do so. After all, they say, [Name] is known to take in those who have been unfortunate enough to be unable to find a place to stay in during their time in the town.

He continues to harbour doubt. What if he’s a thief who wants to take advantage of her offer? What if he’s a murderer? His questions and doubt are short-lived, for [Name] is completely safe under the protection of three older brothers who live close. While not being a part of the Imperial Army nor his enemy the Demon Slayers, [Name]’s siblings are capable fighters who dabble in kyūdō, jiu-jitsu, and kenjutsu each. Despite being capable of defeating all three of them easily should a combat ensue, Akaza is more than satisfied with the knowledge that the unexpected and only friend he’s ever made is safe from the scum of humanity.

And despite his better judgement, Akaza has actually enjoyed his short stay with [Name]. Aside from her kindness, he sees that she’s also understanding and considerate with other people’s plight. She seems to also possess the patience of a saint, and only gets angry for the right reasons. She knows not to pry with other people’s business if they choose to be secretive, but she’s also perceptive enough to know if someone is bearing any malicious intent or ill will towards her. But what Akaza finds endearing about her the most is that she is a genuine person - every action and decision she makes doesn’t contain even an ounce of a hidden agenda of some sort.

After his stay, Akaza surprises himself with visiting [Name] at Magome whenever he can. He thinks at first that she will make a great asset with his search for the blue spider lily, what with her owning a flower shop and all. Slowly, however, he finds that the reason for his visit becomes less and less about the rare and mysterious his master has long coveted.

The Upper Moon incognito gratefully accepts the tea [Name] serves him, fighting the urge to blush under her kind gaze. A bright smile is painted on her face as she begins chattering about the goings on in the town during his absence. Akaza shares the mundane events he encounters as well, mindful not to expose who he is, what his reasons for traveling are, and who he is allied with.

“…then my brothers chased him away and threatened to throw him to prison if he ever sets foot in town because I found out that he’s a liar and has already promised the tailor Hanako-san marriage!” [Name] recounts of a time, during Akaza’s absence, where a shameless man attempted to court her despite being already engaged to one of her friends. “You would’ve disliked him instantly if you’ve been here and saw what he did, Akaza-san. That man has no respect for women!”

Akaza quietly agrees, and it doesn’t escape his notice why the offender would offer [Name] courtship. She’s single and at the perfect age to get married. Aside from her behaviour, she is also an undeniably beautiful woman, with lively [colour] eyes, [length and colour] hair that flows like silk, and [tone] unblemished skin. She is very attractive, both in appearance and personality, and Akaza would be a hypocrite if he denies ever wondering what she’d look like in a shiromuku.

Heat spreads on Akaza’s cheeks at the thought. Maybe… maybe when he’s done with his quest and Lord Muzan has finally achieved his goal, maybe Akaza can…

He shakes his head at the thought. As much as he wants to court [Name] and later ask for her hand in marriage, he has a feeling that his master may not approve.

But maybe Lord Muzan can make an exception? Maybe if Akaza can finally present the demon lord his long coveted blue spider lilies, maybe he’ll grant the third Upper Moon any desire he’d request?

Akaza falters, almost dropping the cup and hearing [Name]’s worried gasp. He’s her friend, why is he thinking and desiring of marriage, of all things? And since when has he started to fantasize about making [Name] his woman? Does a male friend think of his female friend the way he does these past few months of knowing her?

“I’m sorry,” he tells her with a reassuring smile. The lie – he’s the only one who manages to deceive her, why? – comes out smoothly from his lips as he greedily drinks in her reciprocating smile, “I’m just tired from the long journey. I apologize for making you worry.”

Red paints [Name]’s cheeks as she holds the tray close to her chest. Akaza likes to think that it is because she is affected by his smile, just as hers affects him in more ways than one.

“O-Oh!” She blinks in surprise and ducks her head in embarrassment at his claim. “I’m sorry for dragging you off to chat as soon as you came, Akaza-san! Please stay here and let me tidy up your room!”

She is up to her feet before he can stop her, and he tilts his head in curiosity when she rushes back to him with an excited smile on her pretty face.

“Before I forget–! You should come to the forest with me, tomorrow, Akaza-san!” [Name] tells him, looking positively thrilled that it bleeds into Akaza’s chest. “I found something that I want to show only you!”

Something that has excited her– something that she wants to show only to him?

Akaza smiles softly at her retreating form, anticipation building in his entire being. He can’t wait for tomorrow to come.

The trek to the forest has showered Akaza with opportunity to spend more time alone with [Name]. While her older brothers have been kind and open to him, they still exude that protective air around her whenever Akaza’s gaze stays at her longer than they’re comfortable with.

Kiso Valley is beautiful during the summer season. He admires the way [Name]’s face lights up as she points at the flowers they pass by on the trail, explaining to Akaza that the area is where she mostly gets and cultivates the flowers she sells in her shop. He’s seen and heard her talk about her beloved shop and flowers for what seems to be a hundred times already but Akaza doesn’t tire about the topic – not one bit, not when [Name] glows with passion for the things she loves.

The trail soon becomes steep, and Akaza is quick grab [Name] by the waist when she almost stumbles in the uneven ground. He can feel her softness through the fabric of her kimono, marvelling at how perfect she fits against his battle-hardened frame. They stare at each other in surprise, the close proximity between the two of them painting their faces a bright shade of red. Akaza reluctantly lets her go, immediately missing her soft and sweet frame against his, and he wonders if it has just been his imagination working in overdrive when he notices that [Name] sort of looks like she is feeling the same. He offers her his hand instead, and his heart leaps with joy when she shyly accepts his offer.

[Name] looks around fifteen minutes later, seemingly checking for anyone in the trail with them.

“Do you see anyone else here, Akaza-san?” she then asks him, her free hand clutching the sleeve of his dark blue gi like a child looking for an adult’s guidance. Akaza bites his lip to keep himself from smiling at the adorable sight, and focuses in their surroundings.

Utilizing his heightened perceptions, Akaza shakes his head at [Name] when the only battle spirit he senses in the area is hers. “We’re the only ones here, [Name]-san,” he tells her, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

[Name] smiles eagerly up at him and, to his surprise, leads him off the trail. They walk in silence deeper into the forest, to Akaza’s mounting confusion. [Name] seems to be growing more excited while they walk, and a gasp of delight slips past her lips when they reached a small clearing.

“They’re here again!” she exclaims giddily and excitedly tugs Akaza along with her. Akaza looks around, unable to find the source of her excitement until his blues eyes shifts their focus on the small patch of flowers in the middle of the clearing.

“Look, Akaza-san! Aren’t they pretty?”

Heart beating wildly in his throat, Akaza gazes wide-eyed at the blue spider lilies before him. He cannot believe what he is seeing, cannot believe that the one thing his master has been looking for for centuries now lay in front of him.

Akaza’s done it, he has succeeded more than the rest of his fellow Upper Moons! His long search for the mysterious blue spider lily has finally come to an end!

[Name]’s delighted laughter reaches Akaza’s ears, snapping him out of his stupor. He watches as she plucks one of the blue spider lilies and shyly offers it to him.

“I knew the sight of them would render you speechless,” she tells him softly, [colour] eyes glowing with pride and happiness, “just like they did to me when I first saw them two years ago.”

Akaza lets [Name] guide him down until they are both seated on the grassy earth. He takes the proffered flower and studies it with open curiosity, prompting her to tell him what she knows of the strange flowers.

“I found them by accident, you know,” [Name] says. “My first thought upon seeing them was how much money I could be earning should I sell them, but I realized that they’re better off staying here and flourishing by themselves. They’re strange, see, and I found out why the hard way. From what I’ve observed, they only bloom for three days every year! They only bloom during daylight and wilt when the sun sets. How very strange!”

Ah. So that was why Lord Muzan’s search has been ruthless for the past centuries. The only thing he needs to fully unlock the immortality he so craves is perfectly guarded by the Sun he cannot conquer. And with such a short lifespan, it’s no wonder his fellow Upper Moons’ contacts cannot find even the shadow of the blue spider lilies.

The success belongs to Akaza now, doesn’t it? He’s finally found the blue spider lilies. Plans to contact Lord Muzan and tell the latter of his find runs rampant in Upper Moon Three’s mind, but [Name]’s smiling face instantly derails his thought process.

He knows Lord Muzan is a man who believed that his word is absolute. If Akaza tells him that he’s found the flowers through [Name], he is sure that the progenitor of demons would hold her accountable for his centuries’ worth of fruitless searching. Lord Muzan will accuse her of keeping the blue spider lilies’ existence and location a secret, thus endangering her and her brothers’ life should Akaza report his find.

Akaza reminds himself that his loyalty is with Muzan alone. But what stands in his way of proving that loyalty comes in the form of the only friend he’s ever made his whole life – a friend whom he is quickly falling in love with. Would he be willing to trade the happiness [Name]’s presence offers him for the undying loyalty and servitude he’s first offered Muzan? Would he willingly go far as to endangering her life for the fulfillment of his mission?

“I’ve been keeping their existence a secret from the townsfolk and the outsiders,” he hears [Name] speak to fill in the silence between them. Akaza looks at her, and he is reduced to admiring the way her cheeks flushed under his gaze, how her eyes brightened the longer she stares at him.

Akaza’s heart is flooded with a surge of warmth and deep affection at the words she say next.

“I want them to be just mine and Akaza-san’s secret, because… because Akaza-san is special to me!”

The way [Name] speaks with such conviction has Akaza come to a decision himself.

He would rather get himself into trouble for keeping his discovery a secret than to have the only light in his life be snuffed out because of him. He would lie to his fellow Demon Moons, would lie to Muzan himself, if it would keep [Name] safe. Akaza has never been this sure his entire life – in exchange for making him experience what it feels and means to be happy again, he would willingly die in his master’s hands in exchange of [Name]’s safety.

At the end of the day and their trip to the forest, Akaza promises [Name] that the blue spider lilies’ existence will be their secret.

The third Upper Moon – should he still call himself that? – gazes up at the moon through his room’s window. He can hear [Name] moving in her room next to his and soon enough, her soft footsteps approach. Akaza turns just in time to see her silhouette through the shoji door.

“Akaza-san? I’m sorry for the intrusion, but are you still awake?”

He gets up from his seat and moves to open the door. [Name] blushes under his gaze. She is carrying a tea set on a tray with her, and she seems to be fidgeting where she stands.

“W-Would you like a cup of tea before you sleep?”

She is acting like a caring wife, and Akaza is now convinced that he won’t trade her for anything in the world.

He lifts a hand and softly pats her twice on the head, smiling affectionately at the meek smile she gives him.

“Only if you join me,” he softly tells her. He quickly backpedals, however, when he realizes that he hasn’t been clear with his words when [Name] gapes up at him with wide eyes and a deep blush on her face. “W-With the tea– d-drinking t-tea, I mean! Please, h-have a cup of t-tea with me, b-b-before I sleep!”

Face still flushed a lovely shade of red, [Name]’s tinkling laughter echoes in her humble home as she enters Akaza’s room.

#akaza #akaza x reader #kny x reader #kimetsu no yaiba #kny

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john-smith69 · 4 years

Text

Ranking my favorite characters of each of my favorite animes / mangas

For the record: I don't own any of the following artworks bellow. All the credit go for their own original artists

Top 10: Olivier Mira Armstrong (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Olivier Mira Armstrong (オリヴィエ・ミラ・アームストロング, Orivie Mira Āmusutorongu), also known as Major General Armstrong is the primary heir to the illustrious Armstrong family, the commanding officer charged with the protection of Amestris' northern border at Fort Briggs and the older sister of Alex Louis Armstrong. Olivier is a severe woman who has a fearsome and commanding presence where she is harsh with her subordinates and peers and coldly merciless to her enemies, the deceptively beautiful woman's schadenfreude has earned her the nickname "Ice Queen" among the Briggs soldiers. Sharp-tongued and highly combative, Olivier is no stranger to furious chastisements and bursts of fiery violence, especially toward those who fail to live up to her high standards and staunch adherence to the "survival of the fittest" philosophy.

Top 9: Mikasa Ackerman (Attack On Titan)

Mikasa Ackerman (ミカサ・アッカーマン Mikasa Akkāman) is the adoptive sister of Eren Yeager and one of the two deuteragonists of the series, along with Armin Arlert.

After her biological parents were murdered by human traffickers, Mikasa was rescued by Eren Yeager and lived with him and his parents, Grisha and Carla, before the fall of Wall Maria. Though she desires only to live a peaceful life, Mikasa entered into the military—where she is considered the best soldier among the 104th Training Corps. She later enlists in the Survey Corps to follow and protect Eren, becoming one of its greatest assets. She is currently serving as an officer (上官 Jōkan) in the Corps. Mikasa cares deeply for her friends and caretakers, seeing them as the last remnants of a family she cannot afford to lose. Mikasa also appears to have a soft spot for children, and she has a strong sense of right and wrong, doing everything she can to make her most impulsive friends to follow what she thinks is the right track. Despite that, she knows well that she cannot always sway them in decisions and makes it a point to follow them whenever they go, just so that she can be around to help out when trouble arises.

Top 8: Kamina (Gurren Lagann)

Kamina (カミナ, Kamina) was a young man from Jeeha Village, the founder and first leader of Team Gurren and deuteragonist of the first arc of Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann. At first glance, Kamina is boisterous, hotheaded and arrogant. He demands recognition and seems hungry for greatness, illustrated in his tendency to call himself "the Mighty Kamina" and his signature catchphrase, "Just who the Hell do you think I am?!" He is an undeterred idealist, often to the point of ignorance; Yoko has described him as "a man of unlimited stupidity." Kamina is also very perverted, declaring that the urge to stare at beautiful women is the definition of a man.

However, Kamina is also extremely determined and never lets anything keep him down for long. Even discovering that his father was dead only made him solemn for a night or two (visibly at least). He is also devoted to defending and supporting his friends and loved ones, fighting with all his strength to protect them. In turn, he is very charismatic in the heat of battle, able to inspire even the timid Simon to accomplish great feats and almost single-handedly set the foundations for Team Dai-Gurren.

Despite his often brazen and practically insane actions, Kamina is fairly insightful, as his bombast and seemingly blind confidence usually mask his true intelligence in planning and combat. He even personally admits that his bravado and fearlessness is mostly a device he uses to hide his own worries and to support others, and that he thinks people like Simon are the real heroes.

Top 7: Sebas Tian (Overlord)

Sebas Tian (セバス・チャン), alas "The Iron Butler", is the head butler of the Great Tomb of Nazarick with several manservants and other butlers under his command. He was created by Touch Me. He is also the leader of the Pleiades Six Stars.

Although he is not one of the Floor Guardians, his power closely rivals theirs. In a way, he is independent of their chain of command. He originally served as Nazarick's last line of defense alongside the Pleiades on the 9th Floor, to give time for the guild, Ainz Ooal Gown, to prepare for their final stand in the Throne Room. Like his creator, Touch Me, Sebas Tian has a great deal of personal justice. Unlike many other denizens in Nazarick, he does not completely despise humans or see them as inferior creatures. Instead, he believes that some humans are good people and it is the duty of the strong to protect the weak. However, humans with an ugly nature disgust him and he will not hesitate to kill anyone who dares to oppose Nazarick. Sebas has a stoic nature, but also tends to question his own actions whether it was right or wrong of him to do them contrary to his master's order. Not sure why he does it, Sebas does believe that Touch Me's will is what encouragingly motivates him to act the way he does and that it conflicts with the will of his current master.

Top 6: Brago (Gash Bell)

Brago (ブラゴ, Burago), alongside his partner and bookkeeper Sherry Belmont, are considered the rivals of the main characters Zatch Bell and Kiyo Takamine, even though the teams fought a relatively small amount of times. Since their first appearance, they were one of the most powerful teams in the series, and have been seen burning more spellbooks than any other one. Brago is very quiet and is rarely seen socializing with other mamodos, he is often described as being "strong and cool". He is often seen crossing his arms or sticking them in his pockets. Not much is revealed about his life or personality, other than he resents weakness and especially requiring a human's help to win the demon kingship. However, despite often complaining that Sherry is too weak to help him, he thanks her for all that she has done for him in the final battle. He is extremely strong, often defeating other mamodo teams without even requiring the use of spells; because of his strength, which was gained from undergoing special elite training, many mamodo have come to fear him as one of the strongest. Brago's specialty is Gravity Magic.

Top 5: Guts (Berserk)

Guts (ガッツ Gattsu) , renowned as the "Black Swordsman", is a former mercenary and branded wanderer who travels the world in a constant internal struggle between pursuing his own ends and protecting those dear to him.

At one time driven solely by his will to survive, Guts finds purpose in life upon joining the Band of the Falcon, greatly helping in the faction's storied successes during the Hundred-Year War as captain of the band's raiders. He eventually becomes dissatisfied with clinging on to Griffith's dream, and departs from the band in pursuit of his own. Following the horrors of the Eclipse prompted by Griffith, Guts embarks on a two-year war against the God Hand and apostles, becoming increasingly embittered on his one-track quest for retribution. He in time realizes protecting his regressed lover is more important to him, as well as something he cannot do alone, and thus seemingly abandons his quest for revenge while fostering camaraderie with his new companions. Known for his air of austerity, Guts is a gruff, cynical man holding an overall bleak outlook on life. This is a consequence of enduring waves of suffering and numerous betrayals since his youth, with nearly all highlights of his life having, in time, become lows. In spite of his guarded, brooding exterior, he shows a more easygoing, compassionate side around the people he trusts, appearing markedly less unsociable and distant, though still retaining his dry candidness. Even as his inner darkness festers deep within him and its temptation becomes increasingly harder to resist, he retains his empathy and compassion, refusing to completely discard his humanity.

Top 4: Akemi Homura (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)

Homura Akemi (暁美ほむら Akemi Homura) is one of the main characters in the Puella Magi Madoka Magica series. Ever since her arrival at Mitakihara Middle School, Homura is immediately depicted as being very intelligent, athletic, distant, and cold. It is revealed in episode four that she is only like this because she has seen so much suffering during her tenure as a magical girl. Because of this, she does not want Madoka Kaname to become a magical girl and tries to do anything in order to stop her from making a wish with Kyubey, going as far as to attempt to injure and even kill the cat-like creature. Despite her cold attitude towards others, she still very much cares for Madoka, as it is her sole objective to protect her due to the countless amount of blood, sweat, and tears she has shed over her jumps in time. Despite being regarded as emotionless by Sayaka Miki, Homura is far from it. Although she does not easily show signs of remorse, sadness, or pity, it is only because she had grown used to the suffering around her, and must put up a strong front to continue fighting for her goal. Homura herself has stated that she always feels badly with each life she's unable to save or alter, but nevertheless, it does not slow her down from staying true to her main objective in saving Madoka Kaname.

Top 3: Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez (Bleach)

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez (グリムジョー・ジャガージャック, Gurimujō Jagājakku) is an Arrancar and was the Sexta (6th) Espada in Sōsuke Aizen's affiliated army. While appearing to be a laid-back individual, Grimmjow possesses a brutal, impulsive, and excessively violent personality alongside a lethally short temper. However, despite his aggression and obvious blood lust in battle, Grimmjow possesses a feral cunning and has a knack for quickly exploiting any opening his opponent reveals. In addition, he is blunt, sarcastic and quite sadistic, revealing a psychotic grin or laughing maniacally whenever he becomes excited. He is also very rude and quite disrespectful. Grimmjow uses none of the honorifics in the Japanese language, except when addressing Aizen (though he is quick to discard the formality when Aizen is not around), and refers to Orihime Inoue as woman in conversation. Grimmjow displays little respect for authority and says whatever is on his mind, regardless of whether or not it is appropriate. However, he does have some form of a code of honor, as he is unwilling to fight an injured Ichigo, bringing Orihime to heal him beforehand so that their battle will be a fair one, though he also wants to defeat Ichigo when he is at full strength.He also saves Orihime from Loly Aivirrne and Menoly Mallia, who were beating her up, to repay the debt of restoring his arm, though he immediately demands another favor afterwards.

Top 2: Kujo Jotaro (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure)

Jotaro Kujo (空条承太郎 , Kūjō Jōtarō) is the protagonist of Part 3 and also appears in Parts 4-6. Jotaro is the third and most recurring JoJo of the JoJo's Bizarre Adventure series.

Jotaro is a delinquent who lives an ordinary life until the Joestar Family's old enemy, DIO, returns. Jotaro travels to Egypt in order to save his mother and stop the Vampire once and for all.

Wielding the incredibly powerful Star Platinum, Jotaro is the first JoJo introduced with a Stand, and is among the most well-known characters of the series. Jotaro is introduced as a rough delinquent, but he has a gentle heart, and is loyal to those he likes. He is highly perceptive, intelligent and quick-witted while keeping a perpetually cool, slightly neutral or disinterested attitude. Jotaro's most noticeable trait is his seemingly aloof nature. He is a quiet individual, often satisfied with expressing himself in short phrases. While he was shown to be mildly anxious when something unanticipated happens, Jotaro almost never goes as far as to lose his cool.

Top 1: Charlotte Katakuri (One Piece)

Charlotte Katakuri ( シャーロット・カタクリ , Shārotto Katakuri) is the second son and third child of the Charlotte Family and the elder triplet brother of Daifuku and Oven. He is also one of the Three Sweet Commanders of the Big Mom Pirates and serves as Totto Land's Minister of Flour (粉大臣, Kona Daijin), governing over Komugi Island.

Due to his actions and role, he is the secondary antagonist in the second half of the Whole Cake Island Arc. Katakuri has a very serious, no-nonsense demeanor, caring greatly about his crew and family's objectives. With his heightened Kenbunshoku Haki allowing him to see a little bit into the future and make smart judgement calls, he is dedicated to efficiently dealing with all possible threats within his vicinity, and is thus among the few Charlotte children that can be seen taking action without instructions from Big Mom herself. Katakuri is a pragmatic individual who puts efficiency above almost everything else, to the point of being considered a perfectionist. He rarely brags about his abilities, instead being rather focused on accomplishing his goals as fast as possible, intercepting and defeating his enemies in a quick, effective manner while prioritizing the elimination of threats he perceives as potentially serious, going as far as taking extra steps to ensure they are stopped in case his mother and siblings fail to do so. He is also capable of extreme brutality as shown when he pondered on how he should maim Luffy with his trident. Though ruthless to opponents, he is extremely caring towards his family and subordinates. Katakuri is also a honorable man who dislikes other people interfering with his fights. Though he considers Luffy his enemy and desires to eliminate him personally before he can become a threat, he wishes to defeat him fairly. After discovering that Flampe was the one attacking Luffy and lowering his performance in the fight, Katakuri injured himself in the same spot he injured Luffy to compensate and angrily shouted at Flampe for interfering in his fight.

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