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marvelouslizzie · 1 year

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just let me make you feel better

summary: after a long day of work, you finally come back home and rest. your period is making your day miserable but your boyfriend is here to help you.

pairing: bucky barnes x female reader

word count: 3.2k

warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, period comfort, established relationship, pet names, mentions of menstruation pain, a little bit of period stigma, comfort offering, sexual activity during the period, nipple play, clit play, fingering, after care, obviously blood, unrealistic portrayal of male partners, no mention of y/n.

a/n: I just wanted to write a Bucky Barnes offers to comfort you during your period story so here we are. Unfortunately, this kind of care is really rare so I’m sorry for fucking up your expectations about men. Most of them don’t even do the bare minimum. This concept would shock them but don’t settle for anything less.

Thank you @notafunkiller and @es1dit for beta-reading and helping me better this story. Love you both!

All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.

Every like, comment, and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message me or send me a question regarding the stories I write. I would love to talk about it and no, it would never bother me.

Read more tag starts after the first paragraph of the story.

God, you can’t wait for this day to be over. It’s not the worst day of your life, you know it, but still, the freaking pain just doesn’t want to go away. At least, not completely. It finds different ways to crawl back to you and keep you suffering.

You tried a lot of stuff, starting with good old painkillers. There’s no denying that the pill is helping you, but it’s just not good enough. Your back is hurting, joints are feeling sore and there’s still a headache on the back of your head that no matter how many painkillers you take, keeps lingering and torturing you. Like bleeding isn’t enough.

Yeah, being on your period and working at the same time is no fun. It’s not even bearable. Still, you make it through the day and come back just to drop on the couch. You really want to get rid of these clothes, take a hot shower and change into something comfortable, but you just don’t have the energy. Mentally, you are already doing all this stuff, imagining how good it would feel to stand under the hot water and just let it relax your muscles. Yet your legs don't want to move. You just lay on the couch like a bag of potatoes.

As you drift between sleep and being awake, you hear the keys jingling, signaling that your boyfriend is home. Is it weird that you can already smell him while he’s standing across the room? You have no idea but you can. It just feels like something… familiar. You have no idea how it works, but it makes you feel safe even though he did nothing but step into the apartment.

“Darling?” Bucky calls out because he isn’t used to not being greeted by you when he comes home. Usually, you are either going toward him or yelling “Welcome home, baby” from wherever you are.

You can’t find the strength to call out so you groan a little while raising your hand. God, his expression changes so quickly. He walks towards you at a trot.

“Are you alright?”

“I am.” You are just exhausted, nothing out of the ordinary. Especially not at this time of the month.

“Are you sure? You don’t look alright.”

“It’s that time of the month again.” The worried expression on his face slowly fades away when he notices you are actually alright. It makes you wonder what he thought happened to you, but you don't ask him.

“Oh, darling…” His voice is so caring. Your period completely saps you of your energy and he knows it. He knows how you suffer or what you do to make yourself feel better. “Did you take a painkiller?”

“Yes.” Of course, you did. That was the first thing you thought of.

“When?”

You stop for a second to think. “In the morning and after lunch.”

“So you can take another one now, right?”

That’s a good question. You can take another pill, but your stomach is already protesting at that thought. You should eat something before taking it, but you don’t feel like cooking. Even the thought is exhausting.

“But first you will need food.” God, is he reading your mind or what?

“I don’t feel like–” Before you can finish your sentence, he’s already standing up and making his way to the kitchen.

“I will prepare something for you.” When your words register, he turns around and looks at you. “You don’t wanna eat anything?”

“No, no. I was going to say I don’t feel like preparing anything.”

“Oh, that’s fine.” He turns around. “Don’t worry. I will make your favorite.”

You have yet to learn what he means by that because you have many favorites. A meal, sandwich, snack, or dessert? You find out what he means when he comes back with your favorite sandwich, a glass of water, and the painkiller you use only during your period. You love him for paying enough attention to notice that.

“Eat while I draw a bath for you. Warm water should help.”

Why didn’t you think about filling the tub and just sitting there? The thought of laying there for a while sounds so much more appealing than a quick shower. It doesn’t take long for you to finish the whole sandwich and take the pill. Your stomach isn’t protesting anymore, and neither are your taste buds. Still, the pain and that discomfort are there, lingering and making you regret being born. Men don’t have to suffer like this and it’s so unfair! You hate mankind for that privilege. While you are lost in your thoughts, Bucky comes out of the bathroom and you notice: No, you don’t hate the whole of mankind. There’s one exception. You can’t hate Bucky when he’s the most thoughtful person you've ever met.

“The bathtub is ready for you. Did you finish your sandwich?” He kind of sounds like a teacher or a parent, checking if you did everything you were supposed to.

“Yep, all done.” You gesture to the plate. “Took the painkiller, too.”

“Good job, doll.” He comes closer without taking his eyes off of you. “Wanna head to the bathroom now?”

“Yes, but I need to take some clothes with me first.”

“Don’t worry, I will take care of it. Just get in there and relax, okay?”

You just nod with a small smile on your lips. When he takes care of you like this, you feel so lucky and so seen. You never asked him to do any of this stuff for you. Occasionally, you just said “I don’t feel like cooking” thinking you would order take out or you asked for a painkiller, but he registered all that information and started to do things without you asking. Seeing how he paid attention and cared about you just makes you feel valued.

You have no idea how long you have been laying in the bathtub. It was nearly perfect with the bubbles and the scent. You expected him to show up and tell you what to do next, but that did not happen. After a while, you decide to properly clean yourself and drain the bathtub. That’s when you notice he put your towels to warm on the radiator, which instantly makes you smile. You wrap your hair with one and dry your body with the other. Thinking you might bleed around, you quickly leave the bedroom to find your clothes.

While you are thinking if you should go for a pad or a tampon, you find your missing boyfriend in your bedroom. Your clothes are already chosen and set aside, your favorite pajamas waiting for you.

“Hey. How are you feeling?”

“A little better. The painkiller started to work its magic.” You walk towards your clothes to put them on as quickly as possible, still thinking about the blood.

Bucky quickly gets in your way. “No need to rush.”

“No, no, I really need to rush.” He gives you a look that makes you think he's confused. “I don’t have a tampon on. I will bleed on the floor.”

“And?” His tone is so carefree, it confuses you.

“And we will have to clean it, Bucky.” You state the obvious.

“Then we will clean it.” He makes things sound so natural, so casual. Like it’s the most normal thing on earth, but you are conditioned to think that you shouldn’t bleed around, that you should take care of any mess you make.

“You don’t wanna see that.”

“Maybe I do.” His answer comes instantly, surprising you.

“Believe me, you don’t.” You make a move in the direction of your clothes, but Bucky doesn’t let you.

“Bucky!”

“Darling, I have been fighting for god knows how long. Do you think your period blood would disturb me?” His question sounds so genuine, you stop to think for a second. He has a point, but not really. It's a different kind of blood.

“I mean it’s not the same, is it?”

“Yeah, it’s not.” The confirmation you expect finally comes. “I’m used to seeing blood caused by violence, not by nature.”

Wait, what?

You don’t know how to react to this. Of course, it is natural, but it is also torture and it makes a mess every time. A huge mess. Usually, your exes were disturbed by the idea, keeping a respectful distance while you were on your period, but apparently not Bucky. His fingers were already grazing your skin carefully. He looks into your eyes, asking for permission silently.

“I really don’t feel like it, Bucky.” You hate saying no to him, but the pain is still there. You are sure it will make things uncomfortable.

“I’m just asking for permission to touch you, doll. I’m not asking for anything else.” He keeps confusing you tonight.

“What do you mean?”

“Just let me make you feel better.” His answer is simple, but not enough for you to understand his meaning. What does he mean by that?

“I think having you there now isn’t a great idea, Buck. I’m in pain and a little bit too sensitive.” You try to explain as simply as possible.

“Darling… There are other ways to make you feel better, or did you forget about those? Maybe I should remind you, huh?” Gosh, the smug smile creeping up his lips… It sends shivers down your spine. “Just lay down.” He gestures to the bed.

“I will blee–”

“Shh…” He doesn’t let you finish. “Just be a good girl and stop thinking too much.”

For fuck's sake… A good girl? He definitely knows how to shut your brain up. You slowly sit down on the bed and notice a big towel under you. He already thought about everything, so you won’t have to worry. So you can just enjoy this. If that’s what he wants, you can do that. You can shut your mind for a short while and try to enjoy yourself.

As he lies down next to you, he turns his entire body in your direction and props himself up on his elbow. His flesh fingers start to caress your skin very lightly, making their way to the towel you wrapped around your body.

“It is time to…” His fingers work quickly to undo the towel. “...take this off.”

He sounds somehow impatient. Maybe just to see you naked or hear the sounds you make while he touches you all the ways he knows you love. His fingers move to your nipple, fingertips grazing over carefully. As he touches you so lightly, another wave of goosebumps washes over you. It's not normal for you to be this sensitive, but your nipples are already hard. Your lips tremble as he moves closer and gives one a long lick.

“God, damn it.” You mutter and he instantly looks up.

“Should I stop?” The way he asks the question shows how concerned and focused he is.

“No, no.” You take a deep breath. “Just be gentle. I’m just…”

“Sensitive, I know.” He smiles and dives back in. His tongue swirls around your nipple over and over again until you start to cry out.

“Fuck!” That’s so unexpected. The pleasure you are feeling is foreign. Nipple play never felt like this before. “It feels so– so good.”

He moves his mouth away with a wet pop just to say: “Yes, surrender yourself to the feeling, darling.” Then he goes back to sucking your nipple, while his metal hand is massaging your other breast. It’s such an amazing change after feeling pain for hours and you can’t help but crave more. Your hips are rising unintentionally. Bucky’s flesh hand moves down to your body, sliding between your folds really carefully, but it makes you push your hips up again.

You've never felt this wet in your life. You are sure your period has a lot to do with it, but god… That’s not the only reason. The way he’s paying attention to your breasts, the way his index finger is working between your folds… It feels like magic. His fingers start rubbing on your clit and the next thing you know you're moaning his name over and over again. Whenever you moan, his tongue becomes more relentless around your nipple. The pleasure hits you suddenly, it takes your breath away.

“Buck–” Your back arches like a bow. “Oh my go–”

He doesn’t stop. He doesn’t even hesitate for a second. His fingers and tongue work you through your orgasm until you start to feel a little sensitive. You let a long breath out, proving how satisfied you feel.

Finally, he lets go of your nipple and looks up. Hair messed up, lips swollen and eyes glossy. “How are you feeling?”

“Great.” You breathe out again and it makes him smile widely. So fucking widely… “I feel great.” His hand rests on your pussy while his head is on your upper body. You lean down a little and he meets you in the middle in a messy kiss. God, his lips are the most delicious thing you've ever tasted. They're nearly sweet and just intoxicating.

You sigh loudly, feeling so much better than before. The pain is the last thing on your mind. You actually think about a possible second orgasm already and a little smile creeps up on your lips.

“What?” He asks wondering what you are thinking.

“I think I want a bit more.”

“Oh, you do?” He is fully smirking now. You just nod while biting one side of your lower lip. “Would it be okay if I put my fingers inside? Would that be comfortable for you?”

“I hope so. We can try and if it’s uncomfortable, I'll tell you.”

“What a good girl you are.”

Before you can say anything in return, his fingers move a little down and he pushes one of them inside.

“Bucky!” The sudden pleasure catches you off guard.

“Sorry, sorry. I will go slow.” He moves himself a little bit up, just to be able to kiss you comfortably. You look at him and excitement is written all over his face. He’s actually enjoying this even though he isn’t getting off himself, and you love how your pleasure affects him. Licking your lips, you close the little distance between you two.

He kisses you deeply while moving his finger in and out. He’s using just one, but dear god… you are so sensitive. It feels so good even though you aren’t completely filled. Slowly, he pushes the second finger inside, crooking them and rubbing them along a spot where you can see stars. Your mouth suddenly opens as you let out a loud moan. You are unable to kiss him back, it feels like your whole body just tensed up and your muscles stopped working.

“Yes! God, yes.” You manage to say while he keeps on working. “Just like that.”

“Don’t worry, doll.” He speeds up a little. “I won’t stop.”

He keeps working his fingers while kissing your neck. You can feel your second orgasm approaching and it feels so good, but also not enough.

“Please…” You beg without thinking. “Please…”

“Tell me what you want.” His voice sounds so deep, so full of desire.

“Faster. A little faster.” You take a deep breath. “I’m so– close.”

He doesn’t make you ask twice, just starting to move his fingers a little faster and that’s all it takes.

“Bucky!” You scream so loudly that it surprises even you, but it’s too late to bite your lip. The overwhelming pleasure takes over, making you scream so loudly that Bucky thinks all your neighbors know what you are up to. And he doesn’t care. They should know he is the one making you feel this good. He is the one who makes you forget about your pain and mindlessly moan his name like a prayer.

When you come down from your high, you feel boneless. It’s like your whole body relaxed after the blinding pleasure. Maybe it’s the mixture of the orgasms and the painkiller you took, but you are too tired to care.

While you stretch your arms, you notice Bucky isn’t next to you anymore. You look around to see where he went and he comes out of the bathroom with another towel in his hand.

“Looking for me?” God, his smile is so smug, but you can’t blame him. The way you just screamed his name without having his cock inside you… That must have boosted his ego. Rightfully so. His fingers are magical. And his tongue. Also his lips. The way he turns you on so much and pulls this pleasure out of you is unbelievable.

“Yes. Why did you leave me?” You know he didn’t but you like to play.

“Just got a wet towel for you.” He kneels in front of the bed, between your legs and you prop up on your elbows to see what he’s doing. He gently moves the towel on your thighs and wipes the blood he smeared while making you scream his name.

“I could clean myself. You didn’t have to.”

“I know you can, doll. Nobody said you can’t.” He rubs the towel against your slit and you jump a little, feeling sensitive. He notices your reaction and tries to do it more carefully. “I just want to help you.” After he’s done wiping, he folds the towel and puts it away. Immediately after, he grabs your clothes and helps you get dressed: your underwear first (and no, he did not forget about the pads), then your pajamas. In a couple of seconds, you're clean and all dressed up. “Now it’s time to rest.”

You move backward and get under the covers while watching him collect the towels all over the room and put them in the dirty laundry bin. It amazes you how he doesn’t forget about anything. He doesn’t let any small detail bother or worry you. You hear him washing his hands and he comes back with a smile on his face.

You don’t know how you got this lucky. Having a loving and caring boyfriend like him… Getting taken care of like this… You remember how your friends talk about their boyfriends and how they do absolutely nothing. You know that’s not how a relationship should be, but you also know how rare this is. Your eyes wander back to him while he is getting undressed, showing you how incredibly hard he is. Yet he didn’t even make a move to relieve himself. He didn’t ask for a hand or begged to be inside you like he does sometimes. He put you first and unfortunately that’s even rarer.

He quickly puts on his pajamas and slips right next to you in bed. His arms are already around your waist, pulling you closer. You carefully move your hand down and palm his still rock-hard erection.

“Nope.” His answer is simple yet firm.

“Let me take care of you, Bucky.” You try to say as sweetly as possible. You want to return the favor.

“Not tonight, darling.” He gently moves your hand away. “But I promise, you can do whatever you want to me when you feel better, alright?”

“Alright.” He’s right. You are feeling sleepy already, you can do this another time.

After all, you are his and he is yours. You have all the time in the world.

He pulls you even closer, putting his head on your shoulder behind your back.

“It’s time to sleep.”

“I love you Bucky.” You say while feeling the weight on your eyelids. It’s hard to keep them open.

“I love you too, darling.”

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iamhereinthebg · 4 months

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Haven't they broken several rules they've established just for everything to revolve around Tsukasa? Like...

1. A mystery can't be defeated in their own boundary (and yet Tsukasa somehow ripped Kako's heart out in his own boundary)

2. You can't use your tsueshiro in a boundary without permission (and yet Tsukasa ordered his to hold down Mirai)

3. Nobody could move because the school's time was frozen (yet Tsukasa did, as well as Yashiro, and Hanako who if I remember correctly suddenly unfroze on his own to break down into tears)

The earlier chapters were way better at following previously established rules and concepts compared to whatever's going on right now

They did ! :))) (want to explode)

I can understand the idea that Tsukasa is a rule breaker, he did destroy the previous n°3 in his own boundary too and it was an interesting twist! I can understand the idea and why it can be interesting, but the way AidaIro using all others characters/plots to make him stand out is just terrible. Dirsregarding rules is not a new thing about AidaIro unfortunately but Tsukasa really wins all medals on breaking them.

As you said, he was able to move when time was stopped and for which reason?? We don't know. Hanako was able to move once Akane and Teru got to him, probably because Akane is a clock keeper and can somehow give the permission to people to move.

I said it before and I will say it again, but wanting to show a character is powerful/cool by making the others characters look stupid is terrible writing, and that's the feeling I got with Tsukasa in general. (and chapter 109 is just a whole sequence of the characters being made fun of)

We don't know where to stand because he has every kind of tropes attached to him. They want us to understand he is some kind of martyr who is 'omg poor lil Tsukasa who was so selfless at only 4yo boohoo' (no matter which translation I read for the red house arc, he is believable somehow with Kou but then we get the flashbacks with Amane and it's gone). They put him in an 'angel' position and naive position in a lot of aus, want us so bad to understand deep down he is a nice boy. When we watched him do every possible horrors on screen. And don't get me wrong, I don't mind this, it's cool. Him forcing Mitsuba to eat, creating him, the way he treats some characters... It's the way they are not doing that to other characters who is so strange in my opinon. They know how to handle grey characters like Hanako or Teru (from the reader's pov) so I don't why they try so hard to put Tsukasa in a good light.

He is not a believable kid character in the red house arc, being smarter than Kou and Nene is not making him cool, it's just making Kou and Nene absolute idiots.

Him destroying his shackles thanks to Mirai power? It's not him being clever, it's Mirai and the clock keepers being made fun of. Him knowing what Hanako should be doing by using Nene? Not making Tsukasa cool, it's making Nene just as an object for Hanako's love, and to get a reaction out of him, most of the time by making Hanako look stupid. (I could go hours on why Nene is just here to serve as a mean to Hanako's character since some arc rather than being her own person but that's for another day)...

I understand that Tsukasa is like 'the antagonist and should be some steps ahead of the portagonist' but it's just so repitive in the way he is unpredicatble that it became boring and predictable. I was overjoyed to see him like this in chapter 108. (which was let's be honest the only good chapter in this new arc)

Tsukasa is really good here, which is why the drop of quality in chap 109 is even worst. Seeing a new side of him as a supernatural and his sorrow/hatred for Amane is really great. He even moralizes Nene about why sometimes you just need/have to get yourself out of situations alone, and that's how he himself proceeds because his brother never went to see him in 50 years. That he had no choice but to do so. It's great! Really great! To see that he is also an unpredicatble character and who decides to do what he wants not taking people's opinions in mind, because even his older never helped him when he called for him during all this time. It adds a good layer to his character and seeing him weaker/not really knowing what to do is something we desesperatly need for his chacter. But as everything in chap 108, chap 109 throws it out of the window and goes back to the usual ' we have set ups but terrible pay offs' things that has been happening a lot in the recent arcs.

He is also way too OP. As you said suddenly his tsueshiros could move again and he got rid of Kako. Even Hakubo and Teru being ones of the most powerful characters, were defeated once, Tsukasa never was seriously. It's never explained why he is so powerful (probably because he has an entity inside him/he eats others supernaturals) but the difference of levels is just insane, and absolutely not compelling to read.

We don't know why he is doing what he is doing and they try so hard to make him mysterious. They want us to get to know him without saying anything relevant or his backstory. We are left with whole chapters of absolutely nothing. Welp too bad I am not patient enough to see Tsukasa doing random stuff when half of the characters have rushed characters development or none because 'there isn't much time'.

AidaIro want us to understand they love him and that we should too but they are just destroying every other characters rather than make him loveable.

I hate what they did with his character, his role is terrible because it's destroying eveyone else's. Tsukasa is the favorite and it shows, but it's so badly done that I can't help but hate him.

#toilet bound hanako kun #tbhk #tbhk spoilers #tbhk analysis #somehow idk #I will be honest Idc much about Tsukasa since I don't like him so it's really surface level #my opinion too but yes ahah #I am really bothered by how he is written #jshk #yugi tsukasa #yugi amane #I know the manga isn't finished and that we will get more backstory later but I am tired of waiting for him to be a loveable character to m #sorry Anon I used this ask to say why I think Tsukasa sucks #I think his personnality is funny i will be honest #but WOW his role? fcking terrible #jibaku shonen hanako kun #this post could be resume as 'I want him gone' tbh #and ty for the ask! I totally agree with you!

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miidnighters · 4 months

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I came back to RP in October of this year and I honestly have just been blown away by the community that's still here - I'm so lucky to have connected with this community of people who not only write excellent things with me, but put other excellent things on my dash for me to devour.

I just wanted to say a little thank you and shoutout for making re-entry so easy and enjoyable <3 I love you all and I cannot wait to have a million threads apiece with each of you because I'm so greedy and I'm just looking at you all with little grabby hands. I want to like every starter call you ever post and send in every meme but also. Don't want to be a lunatic you know.

@whileurmine

Writing with you makes me so happy! I really enjoy each of your characters and this interwoven storyline they all have together - how you can reference other characters and have them drop in and out and still be 'canon'. Love it.

@briillicnt / @grcveyacd

I love the dynamic we've created with Tristan and Hartley - I really enjoy writing with you and exploring all the little facets of their relationship. I can't wait to do more, especially exploring all the characters on your multi!

@exquisitexagony / @cursedvessels / @distantsongsofjoy

Sami has my whole heart and you know this. I love their characterisation and whichever of my characters they get paired with is absolutely chefs kiss because each pairing has such a unique dynamic that I love playing with. PLUS all the characters on your multi?? All of your characters are exquisite and I love them.

@wildskissed

What can I say about Eve - even before you were writing with me I was reading your other threads and thinking about how cool you were so the fact that we've crafted this relationship between Bella and Eve? It's amazing to me and I love exploring not only their relationship but also the wider universe.

@laidbear / @92328 / @svetlna

I have mentioned before but I'll say it again, each of your characters is so fascinating to me and I love them so much. I am always blown away by the depth and facets of your characters, and the way they interact with mine. Amazing - I could live in your blogs for the next 100 years and never get bored.

@cxldblxxded / @yxkanna

Another set of amazing, multifaceted characters. I think your development and wider thinking about your characters is so interesting and I love reading all of the extra tidbits because it makes all of your characters feel that much more real. Looking forward to hopefully more interactions with Cad & K.

@starlyht

Aaah honestly all of your characters are so good and I love that you think about them not only in a BG3 sense but also in a wider fantasy sense which makes them so fascinating to me. Also, the fact that you will occasionally use real dice rolls to decide what happens in-reply? Iconic.

@mystiika

I love you, I love your characters, I love all the things we've talked about for Flynn and Jamie, and the things we've started putting together for Isaac and Callisto. Writing with you is so fun and I can't wait to explore some of your other characters.

@lcvnderhazed

I am loving what we're starting to build between our girls. Your characters and your threads are so interesting to me - like, how do you come up with these concepts? I also love seeing all of the supplemental content you post like moodboards and other things - just the way you think about your characters? Amazing.

@soulmissed

August is my child now I'm sorry I don't make the rules. i think it's so interesting how you've managed to take a character that by virtue of being young would be undesirable to a lot of writers and make him so loveable. I can't wait to write more with him.

@fangmother

What a woman. What a concept. Such interesting (and well done) writing. I would kind of like to set up shop in your blog and never leave? Also, your goodnight posts about whatever way Rainer's fallen asleep/done herself in that day make my whole afternoon.

@freekzout

These characters are ridiculous and I say that with all the love in my heart. I love the concept of the dual-muse reply where both Ruth and Funke feature and I think that both of them individually are really well-crafted, interesting characters to read and write with. ETA: Aaah I didn't have time to get on my computer and fix this after my Moment this morning but Conrad should also be tagged here not down below 😳😳😳

@littledevilinside / @notladylikes

Okay so I know we only started writing recently but we went absolutely 0-100 with threads and I already love what we have going on with Isaac and Lorelei. Such a good, wholesome dynamic - Lorelei as a character is so interesting and I can't wait to dig a little deeper with her and the others on your multi.

Here are some people I don't write with (as much yet)/am still in the planning-plotting stages with/just plain admire and devour their threads/OC meta every time they're on my dash

#x. ooc | ☾#x. shouts loudly ! | promo | ☾#this got so long but also i just love you all so much ????#also the formatting looks fine in editing but just looking at it some bits look bold where others don't idk #idk if it looks like that for anyone else?#i tried to make this look nice but u know.#also i want u all to know that i have been sitting on this since ! the beginning of december !!

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tiptapricot · 9 months

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Moon Knight City of the Dead Issue 1… why…?

So. New MK side run has begun, the hyped up full on debut of Layla/new Scarlet Scarab in the comics, with a premise that most writers would twist into an epic and breathtaking journey.

We don’t get that here.

And I have a lot of thoughts on why and how I feel so frustrated with what we got. There’s pieces of something awesome, potential to go to some really fascinating places, and yet it is held back in almost every aspect, creating something messy and clunky that makes me mad to read.

(This is long btw)

First off though, some things I did enjoy!

I really love the art and coloring of this issue. The anatomy and movement and shadows, the stylization of character’s faces and costumes, the sprawling city with its deep reds and blues that feel saturated and weighty. It’s great. Besides a few moments that it comes out of left field with some bad stuff (Layla’s whole face at the end or the MK mask w teeth during the memory slideshow like whaTtt is that), it’s super solid and made for a very enjoyable looking comic.

It was also really fun to see Badr for a little. I think it would’ve been cool to get more, and the pacing of things as I’ll get to later sapped his importance in the story for me some, making him feel more like a prop or a plot device to get it going, but overall it was lovely to see him again. And it was cool to see him being a doctor as well, as we haven’t seen that as recently in MacKay! Always a joy my dear sir please come back soon.

The story in concept. Going to the underworld, detaching a headmate supernaturally to journey to a different plane of reality to save one life, and meeting a dead ally along the way is fascinating stuff, an idea that inspires me to want to explore it myself.

Because (and now it’s time to get into the stuff I didn’t like) the writing doesn’t do this idea justice at all.

This is not the worst MK comic ever rn, not their worst writing. It’s not as violently ableist or antisemitic as things like Bemis or making a joke out of MK like some others, but it’s just stupid, and what it glosses over or gets wrong is weird and uncomfortable and harmful in its own right.

To start this isn’t my Marc. His guilt is not one of punishment for penance, of believing he’s sinned and needs to be washed clean by pain. He is a man stuck in bad coping mechanisms and trying to pretend he’s not. He’s a man who hates himself and uses violence as what I would describe as a form of self harm. But it is not with the goal of erasing his past.

Yes, he runs from the person of Marc Spector, he runs from the idea and the responsibility, but Marc doesn’t try to forget. He holds onto things with a vice grip and never lets himself drop it. He believes in his own mythos and is grappling with his complicated and traumatized history to remember he can love and care and trust people again, that the work of making his life better is not solely on his shoulders. That’s what MacKay’s been dealing with.

MacKay Marc is guilty and self flagellating but in a way he tries not to think about, that he brushes over. He puts on an air of confident collectedness and has more hate for Marc as a concept then specifically his actions, and he’s still able to move forward and find a type of momentum and bravado in the MK suit.

Or in simpler terms: yes Marc has guilt. He does not have this kind of guilt.

The first few pages read so strangely, just this over dramatic spiel that feels more like daredevil than moon knight, like a rehashed dramatic intro to a moody sad 90s comic. And not in a good way. It’s not deep it’s just annoying and tedious and the prose is clunky and again, extremely off in its vibes and message. I think it could’ve been alright, if some of the talk of his guilt had been shifted and the narration hadn’t continued constantly throughout the rest of the issue (which I’ll get to later), but as is in its full context it’s just… weird.

In addition to the weird guilt vibes, there’s further issues with the Khonshu religiosity in this.

Khonshu isn’t something Marc worships, he’s something he uses for his own means. He’ll call on him or talk about being the priest of the mission, but that’s because Khonshu doesn’t have oversight, he’s a tool and form of direction and theming, and at the story’s core Marc is the priest for his mission, not this god’s.

At points in this issue he genuinely sounds dedicated though, and it shifts the flavor of earlier pieces more in line with his usual monologuing to seeming more like strange spiritual devotion. Especially calling Khonshu the greatest of great gods, or saying that him being in the underworld is Khonshu’s mission. It changes his actions from that of Marc to that of a real Khonshu follower and its…. Just weird. It’s all just weird and very ooc.

On top of that, there’s no mention or interrogation or even presence of discussing Judaism alongside all of this. I’m not Jewish myself but have had multiple convos around the topic w those who are n who have made their own posts discussing it and can add on more nuance n info to this should they like (bc more thoughts for discussion are always awesome), but just on a surface level it’s strange. It’s strange to have a plot revolving around going to another belief system’s afterlife and not at all bringing up how it clashes or relates to Jewish beliefs. Yes Marc isn’t really actively practicing anymore but I’d hazard Jake probably is, and Marc has still talked about his connection to his faith and how it’s impacted his time as moon knight and serving Khonshu.

The text treats the Egyptian pantheon belief system as the True and Accepted default here, with Marc not even discussing anything about going to an afterlife he doesn’t belong in (and shouldn’t even have) as a Jewish man, or even thinking about how Badr discussing Ka conflicts with Jewish beliefs on the soul and how Neshamah differ.

And yes, Marc works regularly with the very real Egyptian pantheon and mystical systems but it’s in a different way, and under a different context and understanding by readers of his acceptance of it.

A whole other layer of depth, conflict, and exploration could’ve been added by really digging into the theological implications of this plot, of a Jewish soul in the Egyptian afterlife, and yet it’s not brought up at all, not referenced or mentioned and it makes it all feel weirdly out of place, or like stuff is being glossed over.

That, on top of Jake and Steven (not to mention the entire rest of the main mission cast) being completely absent in mention, consultation, presence, or anything just feeds into this strange sense of Pepose wanting Marc to be the idea he has of him in his head, this guilty, sad, and violent merc serving a moon god with not a ton else. And yes again those are all aspects of Marc, but there is nuance to each of those aspects and treating him as a singlet with no thoughts on the conflicts in faith of his present is… just weird.

I don’t know if he’ll be treated as a singlet the whole run, but the fact that the body’s soul being sent into the afterlife has not already brought in any system conflict at all is an issue. Is it their collective soul? Is it just Marc’s? How does this comic understand alter soul distinction? Has it thought about it at all? I mean the answer is no but the thing is it should’ve.

That’s where so many of my issues with this come from though: choices just being… not good. Not thought out or in line with the characters and world. The writing is off and out of place and gOD THE CONSTANT NARRATION IS GRATING!!

I don’t know why it was chosen for Marc to novel write his thoughts and observations the whole issue but it’s bad. It goes past introducing plots or observations that can’t be shown in text to either:

1. Filling space that doesn’t need to be filled

2. Restating what has just been said or shown in a panel (“we have the power of the four horsemen” “wow they just got the power of the four horsemen”)

3. At worst, telling us stuff that was not indicated at all by anything else (“oh I know something is wrong here even though I have not been given enough reason to pique that suspicion” “oh I reunite with Layla and hold her and take her in but haha you don’t see that ig”)

It’s annoying and makes reading things difficult because he’s blabbering on the whole time in places he DOESNT NEED TO!! And it makes the action and emotional movement feel awkward and forced. I don’t need to know every second of Marc’s thoughts Pepose I can parse out things with my eyes I promise you that. Also can he stop talking about penance for TWO SECONDS!!!

The worst part is narration works when done well! When it highlights things that can’t be shown in art or gives some bits of exploration into feelings or exposition, but we don’t need it in every panel. It actually confused some parts of where to look for me by telling me what was about to happen before it did. Stop being like “I thought it was over but—“ JUST LET US SEE ITS NOT OVER!!

Another moment (similar ish to the start) where the narration would’ve worked for me (if it was not surrounded by just more constant narrating monologue) is when Marc first arrives in the Duat. The prose is pretty, it’s vibrant, it describes things the audience wouldn’t be able to pick up from static pictures and helps to set the scene. The only issue is that it doesn’t stand on its own, it’s not an interjection of observations and thoughts, it’s another entry in the never ending cycle of Marc just talking. And it loses some of its luster because of that.

There’s also just a handful of pieces of either dialogue or thoughts that (in the context of Steven and Jake being absent at the moment despite not being absent at the point in time this should be taking place) make me feel very uncomfortable with Pepose’s vibes on their mental health. Some lines that rubbed me the wrong way in context include “The rage fills within me—and suddenly I have a plan. That said, it would help if my plan wasn’t dangerously insane.” “You know me Badr, mental discipline is my middle name.” And a few similar ones I don’t want to reread again for.

They’re just unnecessary man. We don’t need vaguely or directly ableist vibes in words with MK anymore. It works if it feels like it’s coming from Marc’s internalized ableism IE when he was talking about being called crazy during the discussion with Steven and Jake and Jake called him out for it, but when it’s obvious it’s just how the author sees things it sucks!

Stop using insane, stop using crazy, stop being like “oh I’m so good at keeping myself in check,” WE DONT NEED IT!! ALSO THEY R AT A GENERAL POINT OF SYSTEM COMMUNICATION N HARMONY RN!!

Which also just… man this feels like it’s trying to introduce MK instead of continuing an already established and well under way arc. Yea, this isn’t MacKay writing it, but it’s still in the continuity and set up for his run and like… sorry not sorry but I think you should take that context into account if you’re going to be working within it???

Instead the story props itself up by trying to introduce everything at once and Marc feels like he’s starting from the bottom of development.

And speaking of introducing everything at once! Oh boy the pacing!

No one besides Badr is consulted before Marc goes into the Duat, Badr just. Sends him there. There’s no real build up for why there’s a need go that far, for what the threat is or why Marc would go to these lengths so suddenly. Like yeah I know he wants to save a kid who’s a traveler of the night, but like… Others have died or almost died on his watch and he’s never gone to this point before, even though it seems like it’s always something they’ve had as an option. Like… ok ig if Soldier hadn’t been vamped he would just be dead lmao (though also hey! Why and how do souls end up in this afterlife? Do they have to believe in the gods? Do they have to be in some way tied to the pantheon? Is it just where souls go if they’re near moon knight lmaO? If you want to have your afterlife plot you have to do the worldbuilding for it)

And while yes, a lot of this is because This Plot Wasnt Thought Up During Earlier Parts Of Mackay, it also isn’t introduced in a way that feels natural or makes sense.

Events just Happen. Mysteries or drives are just Said without a good basis for why they’re there. Again, this cult was talked about as just kinda a sadistic gang but then they’re a big deal? And oh the kid is dying and oh he’s worth going to the afterlife for and OH WERE JUST HERE NOW and “oh there’s a conspiracy I’ve decided with no real evidence” and HEY FOUND THE GUY and—Suddenly a whole lot of what is happening. God heart full on cult horsemen of the apocalypse memory flashback and BOMBS NOW APPARENTLY and LAYLA and MK BIG PAST BADDIES BOSS FIGHT INCOMING!!

Like ohhhh my god stuff is so rushed and happens so inorganically and with no time to really understand what’s happening. It’s a type of story where my suspension of disbelief isn’t there and it fully just feels like seeing the writer trying to get to the end goal of what they want to write about (moon knight fighting old villains) as quickly as possible. And it SUCKS! Like this genuinely should’ve been more than one issue, there should’ve been at least sOme more build up to gEtting to the city of the dead in the first place, no matter additionally uncovering a plot of some sort happening and Layla turning up.

It’s just…. It’s so rushed and strange and forced and it didn’t have to be and IT MAKES ME MAD IT IS and it’s just not enjoyable to read. It all feels so shallow and stilted and weird, all while having this underlying idea with so much weight, some generally gorgeous art, some moments that could’ve been really awesome, and last but not least…. Literally a good reference to doing a Duat plot well.

This whole mini run is for MCU synergy, bringing Layla in, exploring the Duat and it’s lore, and again yes, the run isn’t done, but it just…. Compared to the MCU plot for the Duat this feels so…. GraaggHhggh. Especially when it comes to system interaction and exploring different painful memories that effect headmates in different ways.

It’s just. It was an extremely frustrating read from both a technical writing standpoint and a character exploration standpoint, and it worries me and doesn’t excite me at all for future issues. Like we’ll sEe but goddamn this is not a good start no matter how it plays out and it doesn’t give me confidence if it turns out I have to read several more issues of this kind of stuff.

Petty nitpicks speed run because there wasn’t enough enjoyable padding for them to not stand out!

I don’t know if Pepose could’ve specified or not but Marc’s not drinking vodka in the opening scene, it looks more like whiskey or something similar by the bottle, again nailing home how strangely off this Marc is from the Marc he’s meant to be with how Mackay has built him up.

Why do they use Duat and City of the Dead like they’re interchangeable titles it’s just the Duat like I get calling it “the city of the dead” since it is that but like. Let that just b the run title they shouldn’t be calling it that like it’s a final name.

They misspell Dr. Alraune’s name lmao

How did the kid get… hurt..? The only point in the opening fight I can think he maybe got hit was with the gunfire but it didn’t seem like that was aimed towards him and there wasn’t any moment of having a detail in the background showing him get injured. And he wasn’t lethally injured at the start so ???

What… is the continuity between the Hydra vs Karnak Cowboys fight we see in MacKay and the flashback here. They were on an empty road there when they crashed? And now they’re in the heart of the city? AlsO bOMBS???

Anyway all I’ll wrap it up with is when the only thing I genuinely smile at is the cameo and namedrop of Apocalypse you know something is wrong with your story lmaO

#moon knight #moon knight comics #moon knight city of the dead #the fruit is talking again #marc spector #mikes mk meta

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wetcatspellcaster · 5 months

Note

I love your work so much! Thank you for giving us the DVD commentary. I’m so torn picking a scene from your fics but I landed on this one.

“Astarion made to step towards her. Rosalie made her decision, and raised the poker higher, making him pause. Then, she stretched her left hand out in front of her.

“But I was thinking back to the olden days,” she said, keeping her eyes on him, where he stood warily back, clearly worried she was going to hit him again. “About how I used to just jump off things, and break fucking bones, and all I would do is take the pain. Then I'd turn to Shadowheart, and I'd ask her to heal me.”

Astarion’s brow furrowed, and before he could get it Rosalie gritted her teeth, and pivoted so her free hand rested on the edge of the sideboard. Hey, if I break more of his furniture, it’s an added bonus, she thought - and then she bought the iron poker down on her wrist.

Magical items were often, for all intents and purposes, indestructible.

Wrists. Not so much. Rosalie often swore her bones felt more brittle these days.

“NO!” Astarion cried, as she herself shrieked, and raised the poker, and bought it down again.

Two hits was enough, but she managed three before her vision started to spot and blacken at the edges. The hand was a pulp, the bracelet remained a perfect silver circle. The skin started weeping blood, which was probably not a good call, in the ol’ vampire mansion. Still, needs must. Rosalie could practically feel herself fighting a giggle.

As she raised her hand to examine it, magic came flooding back exactly as she had been hoping. Why did the bracelets come in pairs? It could’ve been Astarion’s weird aesthetic preferences, but then, if it was, she would’ve expected some chains there in the mix as well. She figured there must be a reason both wrists were bound.

The pain roiled through her like nausea, and one of the shackles fell away from the meat of her limp, flattened fingers.

She started to swoon a little, and Astarion was suddenly there, right next to her, his arm around her waist, holding her up before she could black out and fall to the floor.

“Look what you’ve done to yourself,” Astarion said, sounding genuinely horrified. “What does this achieve, darling? You can’t cast spells without both your hands, and it’s not like you can hold the poker and get the other wrist. I’ll need to find you a healer. What if you’ve prevented yourself from ever casting a spell again? You love your magic. Oh, dearest heart, good gods. You act like I’m worse than the devil himself.”

“Don’t need the other wrist,” she panted, imagining a world where she could stick around enough to vomit on his clothes as promised. “The only somatic gesture I need, is this.”

She dropped the poker with a clatter, raised her good hand, gave him the finger.

Then, she shouted the verbal component for Dimension Door, and winked out of existence. Astarion was left grasping on air.”

Hey anon, thank you for being kind and wanting to play the ask game with me!

I am genuinely trying to remember now if in Howl's Moving Castle and subsequent books Sophie ever chased Howl with a fire poker. I'm trying to remember if I truly imagined this or read it in a fanfic or whatnot. Anyway, regardless of whether I invented this scene from HMC or not, book Howl/Sophie was the energy I was bringing to this scene lmao.

My characters took a lot of fall damage in BG3, truly just short resting every time we took a stealth route in Act 1 bc I was not wasting spellslots on Featherfall. Anyway, the entire concept of fall damage but also just healing makes me think adventurers in particular would be way more at peace with grievous bodily harm. Poor Shadowheart.

The antimagic bracelets are a homebrewed magic item from my D&D game! They negate anything that counts as a spell or magical effect. Fun fact: in my D&D game, my players confronted a hot evil wizard man in his office and through a series of checks (including a Nat 1 dex save from him) they just put the bracelets on him. They entirely negated combat and instead plunged themselves into the true struggle of every D&D party: an awkward conversation. With a man shackled by jewelry.

The brittle wrists thing is autobiographical. I already feel like a glass canon bag of twigs so I imagine in my 40s my wrists will be the first thing to go.

That being said, I have no idea if hitting your hand a few times at full whack would actually do anything or have any of the effects I describe, it just sounded cool at the time.

A few comments (that I've yet to reply to) have noted that Astarion's final speech here is very hypocritical, and it absolutely is. He took away her magic, he's suddenly worried she'll never have magic again... But at his end, he knows that the antimagic bracelets are temporary. He only needs to take her magic away until they've sorted out this wee understanding and she's no longer going to use it to fireball him. He wasn't planning on keeping her magic from her forever, just until they finish their conversation... etc. Meanwhile this is a permanent consequence, and that idea horrifies him.

Dimension Door only has a verbal spell component to be cast, and thank god otherwise my plot would've been literally in tatters! I'm so glad 5e made it easy for her to get away

This is also foreshadowing, bc Astarion says that people can't teleport in and out of the house but then Rose succeeds... seems like, mayhaps, she's the exception to the rule ~ x

"You act like I’m worse than the devil himself.” You see, not to stand in Ascended!Astarion's corner for a brief second, but maybe when you now hang out with vampires and devils and go the Hells every once in a while, your relative curve for morality gets thrown off, and while other people are horrified by your behaviour all you can see is how much worse you could be, and how much worse you've seen other monsters act...

DVD commentary ask

#asks #anons #dvd commentary ask #lovely words from lovely people #wip: pieces still stuck in your teeth #ask games

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addcests · 2 months

Text

a family is you, and you, and :: ch5 - ao3 mirror

pairing the addcest is there if you believe

words 5475

rating [T]

summary "Hey, Dominator, where's Psyker?" It's an innocent question, at first. And then it rings, rings, rings through Dominator's mind constantly, like an incessant nagging that he doesn't want to quite acknowledge presently. Not yet. So he doesn't. "He's out." It's not a complete lie, anyway. --- If you'd ask each Add what family meant, they'd have similarly different answers. A contradiction in and of itself—a testament to the very conception of their existence. Yet, there lies one thing wholly similar; a conviction all three share: they'd fight for their family. And now they must.

note woo boy that sure was a ride when i said things wouldn't happen ig i kind of lied sorry! LMAO but! at least i made up for this chapter with this whoping 5.4k words! anyway, the first scene was really fun to write... ! <3 i love giving dom hope also can't wait to snatch it from him! <333 and trouble in paradise... if it's not one thing with these adds it's another smh :/ but! all will be well! eventually, maybe, hopefully! thanks for reading <3

There were two truths when it came to the Diabolic Esper.

One: he does not sleep.

When the power of time control dangles along your fingertips, one sort of abates the need for sleep.

“Slipped my mind,” he'll too cheerfully, too dismissively answer Psyker or Mastermind as he slithers past their disapproving and worried looks.

It is pretty commonplace, after all, around the Add household to forego sleep in pursuit of one’s goals.

And yet, like the very laws of time he defies, Esper, who does not sleep, slept. Very deeply, at that.

—the other, second truth: Esper did not dream, because while others were blessed with lulling dreams, he was cursed to have nightmares in return. Perhaps it is the nature of his psyche, twisted and tormented as it was, or it is a side effect of something as unnatural as time traveling all these years, or maybe it is the few pockets of sleep he manages to nestle in once every blue moon. Maybe it is all of it or maybe it is none of those reasons at all.

And yet, regardless of the reasons, if any, Esper, who does not dream, dreams.

Reasons aside, all Esper knows is that once he opens his eyes he can see that he is currently standing in a vast field, surrounded by an explosion of breathtaking anemones.

Mother's flower.

It was such a gorgeous landscape. No matter which direction he chooses, there is nothing but a stretch of anemones, pure and white.

A beautiful innocence flooded with white and as gorgeous as far as the eye could see.

Esper bends at the knee, reaching to pluck a handful into his grasp. He holds them tenderly, with loving care and is immediately overwhelmed by its scent: a deep earth-like woodsy smell, tinged with a hint of something citrus-like. Inhaling and closing his eyes, even in this dream, he could never forget the times he would enter Mother's study and catch a hint of these flowers lingering on her clothes, or on her hair, or on her hands. From holding the flowers alone, the scent became stronger, almost overpowering all his other senses.

For Esper, it is a comfort and core memory, he feels as if he could just close his eyes…

Indeed, his eyes grow heavy, and soon, he drops to both knees, barely keeping upright. And yet, despite this sudden sap of strength, the flowers were a calming lull…

“Mother…”

A shard reflecting Grace drifts into view.

He begins to sag further still, placing a palm on the ground to keep himself upright, trembling and again struggling to breathe…

He didn't have time to waste here… ! He couldn't afford to sleep. He had to go. He had to go now. He had to get to mother now, right now! Nownownow—

More white shards appeared, all with Grace.

His heartbeat accelerates as his thoughts begin to race and race as he continues to struggle, and continues to panic, the shards of Grace swirling erratically around him now. No longer could he focus on the flowers that seemed like an anchor at first, keeping him afloat. What he once thought was his anchor grounding him, it was now dragging him down and he was sinking, sinking…

—and then it all happened so fast.

Everything that occurs next is within mere seconds, yet for one who bends time, all of it at once felt so ironically slow. Amidst the storm of his racing thoughts, a sharp cut of white noise sliced a line through his whirlwind of dread. There was nothing left but an eerie, silent emptiness in his mind for but a nano second, leaving him with no choice but to suddenly hyperfocus on his other senses and surroundings and arrive at the conclusion that he was not alone.

He was being watched all this time.

Though he demands his wretched body to move, he falls limp in place instead; and then, he could hear everything. He was quite keenly aware of the familiar sound of cracking, as if something was bending and breaking.

One final, ear shattering crack—then, from a near distance there was an explosive color of pulsing purple and pink hues, followed by the very space he was occupying fissuring until it cracked, cracked and shattered into fragments, exploding once more. The impact and blasts were so forceful, knocking him back so hard that his ears began to ring, rendering him all but dizzy.

When the ringing finally stops, Esper groans and tries to sit up and finds that he can't; a weight is crushing his chest, preventing him from doing so. Disoriented, he can do little other than fight to force his eyes open, realizing that he's also paralyzed beyond just being held down.

Due to this realization—the comforting aura into terrifying dread—he also confirms he was attacked with—

“—Paranoia,” drawls a mellow, flat voice, “and so, you're still alive…”

As someone well traveled, he's not surprised at all when he finally gathers his bearings and he is met with a face that’s his. But what does surprise him is that it's not a face of his that he recognizes. In that sense, he knows Psyker and Mastermind's face. There are also Psych and Arc's faces, when they were younger. But something already eliminated the fact that it could be either of them: the one, lone black sclera. And this face was much younger, nestled in a distinct cat hoodie, deep and dark purples and not the lightly tinged-purple white he was familiar with during his times as Time Tracer. But something even beyond his attire was quite… different; off, even. “You're not Time, and yet… what an interesting form.”

“And you're here,” he replies back, uninterested.

Esper hacks and coughs, cursing the lingering effects of Paranoia that leave him immobilized still and the foot pressing firm on his chest, pinning him in place. Unable to do much of anything else, a certain gleam catches his eye, from a shard orbiting near this person with his face. The shard is a pearlescent color, pure and white, much like the anemones he's currently crushing. It turns and catches the light, reflecting Grace's face once again.

So, this was this… Add's doing, he'd lulled and trapped him here, but how?

Finally, the offender lifts his foot from Esper’s chest and turns his back carelessly on him, arms outstretched, “This form, this is what you—what we always wanted, wasn't it, Esper?” He tilts his head back, glancing over his shoulder, “For Mother?”

A bright purple begins to shine underneath the other male.

These are their last words as Esper opens up and extends the space directly underneath them, binding him in place as he teleports a safe distance away immediately at the end of Void Field's cast, clenching at and massaging his chest. He takes the moment to steady and stabilize his breath once more.

This Add does little more than flinch under the restraints of the energy of space and then he laughs.

And laughs again, a horrid and annoyingly subdued little thing that only pisses him off.

“So meaningless…”

Esper stands defensive, watching as this shorter Add approaches him, step by unenthused step, long coat tails fluttering behind him in the void. His hand aches, closes and opens, then closes into a fist again as he feels his dynamo nearby. “Speak your purpose or else.”

“I am, yet you won't listen.”

Before Esper could probe himself anymore, he reacts with just enough speed to catch one of those ever-floating shards that his other self just flung at full force towards his face. The shard reflects Mother's serene expression, hand tucking back a strand of hair, frozen in time. Recognizing this, his hold on the shard turns tight-fisted, to the point that he is able to feel the glass dig past the protective barrier of his gloves. Esper is sure if he holds it any tighter, he’d draw blood. He probably does. His grip still tight, he throws a glare to his other self, silently demanding an explanation.

“That's what you wanted, right? Mother?” Again, he prods with the same question, voice indistinct, bearing no emotion that Esper could pick at. “But, ah, that's right, you can't have her.” Making himself comfortable, he kicks back on one of his Dynamo (one that Esper does not recognize), sitting with one leg dangling in the air. Leisurely, he gestures to one of his other fragmented shards as if they had all the time in the world. Droopy eyes regard him for a moment, like he's studying him, trying to figure which piece in the puzzle he'll unlock next, and then he resumes. “Then, maybe this one instead. You'll surely want this more?”

Esper, however, is too distracted to even begin to break down that hard calculating gaze. Again, another shard is sent his way, though it's nudged less aggressively towards Esper this time. When he catches this one, his eyes widen at the reflection as the name tumbles from his lips without his permission, “D-Dominator… ?” As if guilty, for some inexplicable reason, Esper's shocked gaze turns towards this other Add.

In this entire encounter thus far, not a single emotion ran across his other self's face. Until now. It was barely there, but Esper parses the flicker of this Add's lips tugged ever so slightly down as contempt.

“What do you want with Dominator—”

“I'm asking the questions here.” Barely there electricity sparked in agitation from his left eye as he stands once more, striding leisurely towards Esper. He paces until he's directly in front of Esper, about a foot apart and then looks down at Esper’s hands, holding both shards. “Your hands are full.”

Holding both Mother's and Dominator's shards indeed, he looks down to them too and then to him once more. “And?”

Again, this other him laughs. “‘And!’ he says…..” Though lacking its usual manic energy, that was definitely his laugh. This time, he laughs so hard, he throws his head back, hand covering his face, shoulders trembling and shaking his small form. “Of course, I was always so greedy.” Using both hands, he gestures for one shard nearby. This one is bigger. Slowly, it floats into both his hands and he spins it around to face Esper, not quite handing it over to him just yet.

This shard, unlike the other still image ones, is animated: it shows Mastermind brushing Esper's hair tenderly as he sleeps and Psyker, right by his side, hand on Mastermind's shoulder as he watches him sleep also.

As if subconsciously, he immediately moves towards it, expecting to take hold of it like he did the others. But he hardly even makes the complete gesture to reach out for it until it's snatched abruptly and precisely from his space.

“I said your hands are full.”

Eyes wide now, Esper still makes to grab for them both when this other Add floats back and away just as easily on his dynamo. No longer willing to entertain whatever his double wants, he then demands, “Give them to me.”

“Choose.”

Panic pricks at his skin, desperate to have them both back. He yells, “They're mine—!”

Ah, and that was clearly the wrong thing to say—this Add—this person wearing his face, chuckles low and short, clipped. And then he charges faster than he could blink. Panic sets in again for another reason: imminent danger. Esper realizes he has so little time to react. He makes to move, to dodge, to teleport back, but within the supposed safety of the time-rip of his portal, this Add is easily here as well. For the split second Esper has time to think, this answers all of his questions about this encounter. This other Add then quite literally rips him from his own portal, sending him flying, anemones disturbed from their roots, kicking up in the air around him. The two shards, Mother and Dominator, fall from his hands in this scuffle too. When he blinks open his eyes again, he finds himself straining them close and struggling to keep lidded eyes open as he feels a familiar pair of hands wrapped at his throat, pressing hard.

“If they're yours,” an equally familiar voice rasps, much unlike the voice from the smaller one; this one is full of energy, life, determination—crazed and obsessed, snarls back at him, “then give me back what's mine.”

This Add stops pressing long enough for Esper to gasp in a greedy breath of air and out of surprise at the sight before him, “You—from that dream… ! You’re not that child anymore. Who—”

Long, almost tendril like flowing hair (that he had mistaken for Mastermind at that time in the dream), two pair of matching dark depths staring down at him, a form that seems to struggle to manifest yet stubbornly decides to anyway—paradoxical in nature—a shape that towers over him (obviously no longer that child form), especially at this height advantage, and those shards that float by his side have turned from their sincere soft, innocent white but to his usual, signature demented, dark deep pinks.

“You may address me as Paradox,” he grins down at Esper, deranged, flashing him a smile full of threatening teeth. “And you, Esper,” he coos, and then taunts harshly, barking his words at him, “what did you expect?!” A deranged little laugh, colored with disbelief and admonishment escapes past his lips. “Did you expect me to coddle you? After all this time, you still can't pick right and yet,” he narrows his eyes as his grip around Esper’s throat tightens with each following enunciation, “you. Demand. So. Much!” A pair of black sclera narrows dangerously now, all prior amusement fleeing from his face as he glares deep and heavy and full of scorn. He’s so close, his breath tickles his younger self. It’s but a breath’s whisper, yet it is so loud with its dangerous undertone made plain, “I don't coddle failures. So, choose.”

Esper, without much choice, chooses to choke and gasp around the fingers pressing insistently to his throat.

“You want Mother, yet here you are in the future, fiddling where you don't belong. And what of your present? What of them? Are they not precious to you? Will you leave them behind?”

It was one thing to be lectured by someone wearing his face, it was another to have to die pathetically at his hands like this. With that in mind and his remaining energy, he finally manages to summon a couple of Dynamo to fly to his side and rush at Paradox, who was too absorbed in his ministrations and thus easily disengaged and knocked away. His other Dynamo flies to his side protectively; Esper, on one knee, wisely uses this time to regain air into his greedy lungs once more.

With Paradox thrown aside somewhere, and Esper no longer feeling on the verge of passing out from a lack of air, the shard with Mastermind and Psyker that Paradox dropped catches his gaze once more. He can barely make out their conversation, but it was faint. It sounds like they were talking about dinner. Well, Psyker was. But Mastermind was bargaining with him about dessert instead. That sounded so like them. In spite of being literally attacked by, whom he now has enough data and obvious logic to assume is, his future self and almost choked to death, Esper finds comfort in these two's consistent yet easy presence.

The shard that held their mother was inanimate till this point. That is, until he hears a voice coming from it.

”Edward, the present is precious for being the present.”

Still, he turns his gaze towards her, brows knitted with the pain of knowing that she was all alone in the end. He just wanted to save her—even if he knew better… ! He just wanted his mother…

The grief stabs at his heart and he clutches at his chest, as if to ease the pain of it all.

Likewise, the same from Dominator's shard. He, too, hears his voice.

”You know, you shouldn't even be here.”

He holds his hand out for Dominator, deep down wishing Dominator hadn't said that to him back then so many visits ago. He didn't want to leave Dominator alone either! He was in pain and lonely, and Esper was drawn to him… how could he leave him alone?

The grief of his actions and inactions pile on, as well as his failures, and he falls to his knees of his own volition, hands to his ears as if that would make everything just.

Stop.

”Do ya think… Esper would mind a chocolate and vanilla cake this time ‘round?”

”He'll love anything if it's made by you, Psyk.”

Paradox, retaining his true form, stands towering over Esper’s slouched stance, glaring as Esper grips at his hair in a crazed frustration. “This should not be hard. No matter what you want, there's only one answer. Anything else is meaningless! That is the most basic of basics. That is the goal.” He then says with as much disgust as he can muster, “That was our goal. Now, choose or I will make you choose.”

Time ticks slowly in this unnatural black backdrop, filled with the most beautiful flowers.

It goes unnoticed by Esper, burdened with his choices.

Paradox, seeing this, knows his next decision before Esper can even think.

As promised and much like before, Esper is not left with a choice really, as he finds the shard containing Mastermind and Psyker at his throat by Paradox's hands. Later, he will remember how he felt the shard dig at his throat, no mark left but a ghost of pain irritating the scar at his neck.

A whirl of anemone encircles them in a violent gust, accompanied by the same woodsy scent drowning out all and overwhelming all his senses as his eyelids, heavy, fall shut for the last time.

He hears one last warning:

“You should have never left them.”

And then—nothing.

===== → loading … loading … loading … :\\ destination … standby … … … =====

“... wha, Esper!? Quick, Mastermind… he’s awake!”

“... it’s been three days! How is he—is he… ?”

===== → loading … loading … loading … :// destination … unknown … … … =====

“I wonder,” Dominator murmurs to himself, toying with Esper's miniature dynamo replica as it sits safely on its designated desk, “how he fares…”

If Dominator is being honest with himself (and these days that is not often), he finds that his mind drifts to Esper lately. After all, it's been a month, maybe two? Who was he to keep track of time? Though he always knew he was prone to night terrors and the such, that expression Esper left with that day struck Dominator hard and would remain seared in his memories for days if not weeks.

A ding draws him from his fleeting fanciful thoughts and he blinks slowly. “Ah, Dynamo? Apocalypse?” He lifts his chin from his palm and turns his gaze upon the floating windows nearby, “Are we stable this time?”

A month or two, give or take, led to much success on his end, a lot of progress, and then frustration. His main goal was to see how far he could influence the reach of some of his Installs, particularly with the help of Force Field. There were promising results and so far, he's been able to maintain a much larger radius but at the cost of efficiency. As of the last experiment, the radius envelops the entire Add household, which has been his biggest success yet.

He walks over to the biggest display, some sort of feed showing the fluctuations of the Force Field. Casting such a wide reach strained Dominator but at least so far, from what Apocalypse was relaying, the potential was there to move into the next phase—

A sudden system warning blares through the lab, the shrill sound of it causing Dominator to flinch at the unsightly sound, a hand covering his ear. It then hits him what that warning was for exactly. Immediately, he whirls around to his Dynamo, then back to the screens as he asks, “Wait, the field!? It's being attacked?”

No sooner than the words left his mouth, Dominator feels a far off rumble in the far left wing of the household. There was some seconds before there was nothing, and then an even louder bang. “Dynamo, what is that!?” Growling to himself, his fingers flies quickly along his keyboard to navigate through the various cameras they had set up, but even soon that was rendered useless—this thing, whatever it was, blew out all of them. Was it physical? Or some sort of arcane magic? “Apocalypse, quickly, I—”

The loudest, earth shattering boom Dominator had heard yet, rattled the entire household, strong enough to knock him to his feet, as well as other items in his lab. Signature purple waves of energy and electricity, seemingly from his projects, or his own Dynamo gone haywire, slither and explode in the room. Hissing rather from the shock of it all than any pain, Dominator, finally losing his composure, frantically yells out, “Can I please get confirmation on what is happening? It has been far too long without an answer for this to be acceptable!” He steadies himself to his feet, gripping the edge of a countertop for support. Again, he tries to summon Apocalypse, who he had lost in the frenzy of this commotion. And he finally appears but not as he expects, “Holographic form? Tsk, any injuries? Scan and report—” Are you alright? goes unsaid. “Where is your location?” Already, on pop-up windows, he can see Apocalypse’s vitals. Health was fine. Alongside that, Apocalypse had used some energy in preparation to retaliate the attack but there was no visible damage or signs of a scuffle.

Apocalypse does not get to report anything more to Dominator, the connection drops, and instead the warning from earlier is flashing red now insistently on multiple windows, demanding his attention, overriding other screens. Was this a systematic or network attack? But, no… it was very much physical. Scans already showed signs this was not some random earthquake or natural occurring event, but a direct and deliberate attempt on the house—or perhaps, it was the Force Field?

Finally, he expands the warning screens and reads. The warnings were not just for the attack itself. In disbelief he mutters, “Impossible, it's completely… destroyed?”

Finally, some beats later, his cube partner flies into sight, fretting with meows over his creator.

Dominator pays him little heed. He is fine after all! Dusting himself off, he hops right back into the fray of chaos and begins scrolling between windows, though soon he could no longer avoid his meows any longer when it becomes insistent and even louder. “Oh, for the love of Elrios, what is it now, Apocalypse? If you need to be looked at, I shall put you in queue and—” He stops, whatever words he had dies on his lips as he looks over his shoulder to see Apocalypse circling frantically over both Psyker and Esper's mini dynamo displays on the orderly countertop some paces away. Despite nearly everything else toppling over, the replicas remained unharmed. In fact, they looked even better than before from a mere cursory glance. “Is that…” He stops, frozen, as if afraid to approach when he is hit again with the realization that, “—P-Psyker…?” He falls unceremoniously to his knees, eyes wide in disbelief as he watches Psyker's replica whirl to life, static energy and electricity rippling in small waves along its device, no longer dim.

Psyker's replica was online once more.

“B-But… how can that be?” His voice, rough from commandeering and shout-outs, now soft, barely a whisper, tinged with fear, sadness, longing… but most of all, something he was afraid to feel: hope.

Apocalypse requests the aid of two of Dominator's Dynamo to bring both replicas to the fallen Dominator.

Gently, he accepts them, staring at them as if a bare touch alone would shatter whatever miracle was happening here. He didn't need to do anything beyond observing them to tell they were online, but with both in each hand, he could feel the familiar signature of their energies, pulsing and radiating, and full of life… ! Looking at Esper's replica mini, his was much more vibrant than ever before too. Even more so than when Dominator scanned Esper and fed the replica his energy from the repairs a couple months ago. Could Esper finally be back… with Psyker?

As if sensing the possibilities whirling through his mind, Dynamo already ran calculations: “No portals via the Diabolic Esper have been recorded within the last… … …fifty three days, twelve hours, three minutes, and fourteen seconds and counting.” But what of the obvious energy blasts? The very ones that rattled the house to its core and dispersed here in the lab? Surely those were theirs… ! “Percentage of Diabolic Esper's energies: 64.21%. Percentage of Lunatic Psyker's energies: 75.89%.”

“How can that be? Not even 90%? It is either Esper and Psyker or it is not!”

“... recalculating. … … Pending results … complete: entities are not Diabolic Esper and Lunatic Psyker.”

Frustrated, he fists a handful of hair, growling to himself. This made zero sense at all. Did his lousy automations and network receive interference of some kind from those psionic blasts? His eyes screw shut, heart racing as he forces himself to calm down, to focus, to relax. To prioritize.

Exhale, start again.

Focused, he opens his eyes, a light that was not there in ages, now brightening his gaze. “One thing at a time, Dynamo.” Magenta hues fall to the warning screens popping up as the system continues to crash, unable to read or feed data about his Force Field that is seemingly in disarray. “Let's… repair this, no, we shall fix it. Sturdy and stabilize it, we will need to increase energy and output now if we are having random attacks. No more risks from this. Then, we shall take stock of everything else, check for faulty devices and other miscellaneous damages, and then…”

He opens his eyes again, a wary stare falling towards the replicas in his hand, whirling with energy and vibrancy unlike anything he's ever seen before.

“I suppose my mysterious benefactors that powered their replicas can wait, for now.”

===== → loading … loading … loading … :\\ destination … standby … … … =====

“Amazing, maybe you two should pair up more often on our excursions and dungeon dives after all. Who knows what you two could accomplish if you'd work together more.”

The two being one, Lunatic Psyker, vying for the chance of sport, having been restless for ages now because of two, Diabolic Esper finally rising from his coma like slumber, recovered as if nothing had happened.

Together the pair were testing out some custom made simulation-obstacle course that Mastermind blue printed and Psyker built. (Esper was working on some schematic of interactive rotations, or some such mechanism, but well… sleeping and traveling from home does put a quick halt to that progress.) Given that Mastermind refused to let Esper out of sight—i.e, house arrest, and that they all agreed to testing and observing Esper for the coming days—this was the next best choice for everyone.

“Hah, just admit you rather see the results than make the results yourself.”

“I've two perfect consenting subjects to do so for me, it is simply more efficient this way,” Mastermind shoots Psyker’s obvious bait down, dismissing him with a wave of his hand. He does have the nerve to smirk at him though, tacking on an afterthought, “Besides, admit you're enjoying yourself.”

“Well,” Psyker says in between sips of water, “Won't deny that. ‘s pretty exhilarating to have Esper’s portals boost my super sonic speed like that.”

“Of course,” Mastermind hums easily, attention split as he tinkers with a couple of nasod chips.

Psyker ungracefully plops himself beside the scientist, jostling him and his makeshift workstation. “And what's all this?”

“Psyker, stop moving! And where is Esper? So help me El if you tell me you lost him—”

Right on cue, a portal opens up, and at the same time, one of the nasod chips Mastermind holds lights up as soon as Esper hops from the portal, Mastermind makes to dodge him.

Well, he tries, anyway.

Esper lands perfectly in between the two, squishing his way demandingly into Mastermind's space as well. “Yes, what has you so occupied that you're ignoring vitals and our battle results?”

For a moment, Mastermind flushes brightly, ears red now that a pair of eyes are looking to him eagerly for answers. Nervously, he glances away, laughing mostly to himself to ease his nerves from the sudden attention. “Well, this? It's really nothing—”

“Doesn't look like nothing to us.” Esper tries to reach out for one of the nasod chips in Mastermind's hands.

“Yea, it lit up and everythin’ when Esper came over. Hmm, is it tracking his movements or somethin’?” Psyker inquires, grabbing Esper's mischievous, wandering hand, ignoring his whines and pouts.

Again, Mastermind does all he can to avoid their piercing gazes. Well, he supposes, if they don't find out now, they'll find out some other way, wouldn't they? Instead of explaining, Mastermind reaches across the inquisitive portal hopper, taking Psyker's hand into his hand.

Now it's Psyker's turn to blush. “W-Wha’! Hey!?”

“Oh, be quiet!” Mastermind barks back, fighting his own blush because of Psyker's blush. Calming down, he nods to Psyker's hand, “Make a fist, use some energy. You know, like I see you do sometimes without realizing it.”

“Did ya hafta grab my hand just for that… !?”

Esper snickers.

Mastermind is so red, but mercifully, the other two say nothing else.

As instructed, Psyker looks down at his hand, makes a fist, opens it, makes a fist, until small crackles of electricity and energy circuit around his nasod glove.

As soon as it does, the other nasod chip reacts to Psyker.

Before either can say anything, Mastermind digs into his jacket's pocket, and pulls out two perfectly replicated miniatures of Esper and Psyker's dynamo. “Each chip, linked specifically to you both, are suppose to go into this… and, well…” He trails off, because he doesn't want to really admit what this is for.

Fortunately, they don't know why but unfortunately, they rather prod at its existence.

“Mastermind, this is such an elementary little toy.” Esper flops his weight on Mastermind's shoulder, teasing, “Is this really more important than me?”

“What—No, o-of course not! It just—”

“Seriously, I feel like you made blueprints for somethin’ like this ages ago, when we were still just tracers,” Psyker adds on, his free hand gesturing at a short height as if indicating when they were that tall back then. “Why the interest in such a thing now?”

Even though he is clearly teasing, Mastermind inwardly flinches at Psyker's insight. He scoffs mentally, annoyed that the brawler was always analyzing him, always seeing right through him. Fortunately, or unfortunately, for him, Esper interrupts his inner thoughts by yanking him up from his seat, his project falling and Mastermind wailing to Psyker to catch it.

Thankfully, he does so.

“Well, if it's not more important than me,” Esper purrs, nuzzling at Mastermind who is desperately trying to avoid this suddenly affectionate time-manipulating cat’s snuggles, “come on, let's take a turn together.” Offhandedly, Esper comments loudly that he now understands why Psyker is always nagging Mastermind about staying in his lab and ignoring everything for his research. “No buts!”

Fondly, Psyker watches the two go off. Or, well, he watches Esper drag a whining Mastermind, pleading for the brawler to save him from Esper. He chuckles as they disappear off towards the start of the obstacle course.

Then, his attention drops down to Mastermind's little project, blinking at the nasod chip linked to Esper lighting up. They must have started the obstacle course, then. He watches it for a few more seconds, and shakes his head. Idly, he wonders if Esper had did that on purpose, tugging Mastermind away like that. That devious schemer is always up to something. Though as his eyes fall to the nasod chips blinking, he supposes that Mastermind is always up to something nowadays too.

He laments that Mastermind obviously can't trust him enough to open up.

When did their connection and trust become so terse and fragile?

Psyker, jumping from his thoughts, heaves a big sigh, and then puts on a smile, racing over to the section that they're at. “Oi! You two hurry up already!” He pumps his fist in the air. “Let's do a run with all of us together! It'll be fun! One who hits the least targets is on cleaning duty!”

#my fanfiction #diabolic esper #mastermind (elsword)#lunatic psyker (elsword)#dominator (elsword)#and someone else i can't tag bc of spoilers :'D #anyway i initially struggled really hard with the first scene but then i blacked out and came to something p darn okay if i say so myself #i hope u all like it...... (trembling)

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spinningbuster98 · 24 days

Video

youtube

Sonic the Hedgehog CD Ending: All action. No words

Stardust Speedway is one of those levels that you think you’d love, what with it clearly being Starlight Zone on steroids, but it just doesn’t fully stick the landing because, you guessed it, the level design is just all over the place. As a general rule of thumb: unless you’re going for the generator then stick to the lowest route since it’s the quickest and simplest. This is quite literally doing the opposite of what Sonic level design usually does but hey, that’s just how Sonic CD rolls I guess

I’ve never been a massive Metal Sonic fan per se. He’s either a non-character, basically just another tool of Eggman’s that only stands out by virtue of his concept, or whatever Heroes attempted to do with him. His design however is something that I absolutely adore. He looks straight up deadly, what with those dark eyes and spickier, sharper design that generally lacks most of Sonic’s own roundness and softness, presenting Metal as something truly dangerous and unfriendly. It’s also a pretty edgy design, perhaps the series’ first truly edgy character, a full 8 years before Shadow, yet he still follows the Classic characters’ overall design aesthetics what with his body proportions. He simultaneously looks in-line with Sonic’s world yet also unnatural to it. His boss fight is also pretty memorable and also perhaps the hardest in the game (though that’s not saying much here), which, alongside him being the one who kidnaps Amy at the starts and whose holograms you can find harassing small animals in the levels, helps to solidify him as an actual rival to Sonic. In fact, despite my thoughts on the character himself, I actually think that he makes for a better potential rival than the likes of Shadow and especially Knuckles, as his status as an Eggman robot built specifically to kill Sonic makes it easy and natural to set up situations where the two would fight without it feeling forced or stupid (just think about how, in Generations, he’s the only rival character whose fight justification doesn’t feel arbitrary, unlike Shadow “I know we’re all in a world without time but instead of trying to get to the bottom of things I’ll try to kill you now just ‘cause” the Hedgehog or Silver “but how can I know you’re the real Sonic? I know! I’ll drop a bunch of junk on your head!” the Hedgehog)

Metallic Madness is the worst stage in the game. Act 1 is fine, but Act 2 features pretty much every single issue in the game but cranked up to 11 because it’s the final level. It’s a giant goddamn mess and no amount of chibi Sonic can make me overlook this. Don’t go to the Past, I swear to God it’s even worse than the other timeframes, I always get lost in the god forsaken place. Man did Mania give this place a much needed makeover!

Fun fact: the original Sega CD version of the ending cutscene actually features sound effects at the start before playing Cosmic Eternity! I’m guessing that the later versions don’t do this because they play at higher framerates so the sound effects would be out of synch

I actually think I like the ending more than the opening: CD doesn’t have the classic all-stage medley during the credits but we actually get to see brief animated recreations of previous stages, and this is where I think that Sonic’s personality really shines, showcasing all the cute, cool and creative ways that he disposes of Badniks. I also like how, in the good ending, more specifically in the later versions, Little Planet disappears but not before emitting a bunch of sparkles that form an image of Sonic, kind of implying that it’s somewhat sentient and it’s thanking Sonic. It’s a nice way to sort of personify a literal world and make your efforts to save it from Eggman’s influence feel all the more worthwhile. Again: Sonic CD is able to give character and personality not through words but through actions

#youtube #sonic the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog cd #my gameplay

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beevean · 10 months

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The reason I haven't watched Prime yet, other than the fact the trailers fully failed to catch my interest and everything in there honestly looked really ugly and oddly stretchy, is basically because Sonic allegedly is presented as an OOC idiot and all his friends as needless dicks. It makes me fear watching it is going to be one big They Would Not Do That teeth-grinding endeavour, which I know I am not going to enjoy in the slightest. I had the exact same in Boom RoL, with Sonic randomly bailing his friends out of a fight they could have easily won (but clearly asking them to turn tail because he was worried)... and his friends then suddenly becoming all aggressive and accusatory when shit hit the fan despite the fact that 1. Sonic was trying to help (even if it clearly was not necessary in a more meta player sense, but still, it's nice he was worried, I suppose) and 2. Sonic could not have known he would lead the party right to Lyric, yet everyone fully blamed him for Lyric's escape anyway without taking that detail into account at all. Prime seems to be doing the same with that shattered crystal, and it truly comes off as unfair towards Sonic.

But I must say, the more people are abuzz about Prime, the more my curiosity is piqued... in a "I wonder just how bad it actually is" kind of way, but still. Now I really am heavily debating if maybe I should give it a watch after all, but I just truly don't like how it appears as if the characters got completely stripped of everything that makes them likeable and Sonic gets the short end of the stick because of it😅

And of course the fact Silver is not in it, but we can't have everything. But still :<

You nailed it lol. It's exactly that: trailers and blurbs both failed to convince me it would be a good investment of my time. I mention Boom because I felt the same way when the trailers of RoL started to drop: I watched them, thought "wow this looks very unappealing" and simply never followed its development - and this was long before it turned out to be a glitchy mess lmao.

I still have zero interest in catching up. I have watched a few clips from my friends who did subject themselves to it, and I'm sorry, but every frame simply repels me. I don't like the overly stretchy animation, Sonic has some truly cringy lines, everyone's OOC, the concept alone is just wasted IMO - I don't care about a Jungle AU or a Pirate AU! The Eggman AU could have been great, showing on-screen what Forces didn't, but nooooooo we have to have the Chaos Council 🙄 yeah thanks, that's exactly what i needed in my life, gen z eggman.

Doesn't help that the praise I keep seeing feels rather shallow, about how cute characters are (first it was Nine, now it's Apple Metal or whatever the name is) or how funny the shipteases are. And sure, nothing wrong in enjoying mindless entertainment ofc, you do you. But again, I still think I'd be wasting my time. It's not even interesting in the same way IDW sparked some interesting conversations about Sonic's personality and morals in the games. Yeah, Sonic's a dumbass here. People like him being a dumbass. Okay.

Anyway, if you want to hatewatch, I recommend doing so with a friend lol. You could both make fun of it and seriously discussing about what works and what doesn't :P

#sonic the hedgehog #i feel ya regarding silver #but think about it: he might be warped so horribly ooc he wouldn't be silver anymore #maybe it's better that he was spared :p

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oliverreedmasterass · 1 year

Note

Do you think you could write the moment Jake and his dad went to the guitar center and Jake played Sunshine of Your Love by Cream and that one guy was amazed by it cause he was 12

LOVE this concept!!

Sunshine

Words: 2k

Warnings: N/A

Jake was in his messy room, sitting on the edge of his twin bed and strumming away at his Yamaha acoustic when Kelly stuck his head in.

“Are you playing Heart?” he asked, hardly able to contain his awe. Jake quickly dropped his hands down to his side in surprise and gave a small nod.

“Yeah,” he murmured. Kelly widened his eyes and let out an impressed chuckle.

“I think it’s time.”

“Time?” Jake asked as he carefully set his guitar behind him on the bed. “Time for what?”

“Time for you to get an electric,” Kelly replied. This made Jake spring to his feet.

“Are you serious?” he let his voice raise in glee. Kelly grinned at his son’s response and nodded his head.

“The point of the acoustic was to make sure you got your form down. Now I’m no guitar expert, but I think it’s safe to say you can play that thing pretty well. You’ve earned the privilege.”

Jake’s grin stretched from ear to ear. His dad had let him play his own electric guitar a few times before, but Jake always got distracted by the pedals and whammy bar, and the guitar was promptly taken away. Kelly’s mantra had seemed to become,

“No need to try and replicate Jimi Hendrix’s Star Spangled Banner, son.”

Jake was frankly surprised that his dad thought he was ready to transition to an electric guitar. It was something he had craved for a lot longer than he would admit - he knew it would get him attention at school (the good kind) and he loved the sheer feeling of power that surged through his body with every electrifying chord he ripped out. The acoustic was fun to play, but it had transformed his fingers into a set of rugged, calloused nubs that he was constantly peeling dead skin off of. Plus, he wanted to play songs that weren’t off The White Album or Bob Dylan’s greatest hits. Sure, he thought that his playing had improved from when he first picked up the guitar at the humble age of three, but he still missed chords and mixed up strumming patterns. A part of him worried that his rendition of “Crazy On You” had been a fluke and he somehow tricked his dad into thinking he was ready.

As if Kelly was reading his mind, he nodded back at Jake’s acoustic.

“Can you play me something else on that?”

Jake could feel his face turn bright red but he obliged, settling the guitar back in his lap and scanning his brain for the right song that was possible to play, but still impressive. Kelly leaned his back against the doorframe with his arms crossed and closed his eyes with a large beam across his face as Jake played “Heart of Gold”. After Jake finished the chorus, Kelly opened his eyes again and patted the doorframe.

“I’m gonna grab my keys,” he excused himself. The second he was out of sight, Jake tossed the acoustic back down and held his head in his hands.

“Oh my god,” was all he could manage to grunt out. He was finally getting an electric guitar.

For the entire drive down to Flint, Kelly had a field day coaching Jake on what guitars he should try out.

“You can’t go wrong with a Fender, but also everyone plays the Fender so it’s not that special. Les Pauls can be fun. Did you know that Jimmy Page played a Les Paul?”

Jake stared out at the rolling green fields they were zipping by and tried to envision what guitar he would be playing for years to come. When he fantasized about it, he never really had a set guitar in mind; what was more important was how well he was playing it. Jake concentrated hard and attempted to conjure up an image of a guitar that felt like it was rightfully his. He was disappointed when he came up empty.

“I don’t know what guitar I want,” he admitted out loud.

“Looks are one thing, you gotta play a bunch of them to find one that really feels right.”

That made Jake feel better, even though he still felt the magnitude of the situation weighing on him. Within the twelve years he had been alive, this was by far the biggest decision he had ever had to make. He wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself.

Fifteen minutes later, Kelly pulled their family minivan into the Guitar Center parking lot and killed the engine, cutting off the Muddy Waters song that had been playing.

“Are you ready?” he asked Jake. In response, Jake slumped back in his seat but, growing uncomfortable with the silence he was creating, eventually turned and nodded at his dad.

“You bet,” he squeaked out.

As he stepped in through the front doors of Guitar Center, Jake felt his eyes grow to the size of saucers. The place was like his own personal heaven: stunning guitars lined the walls, keyboards were tucked away in an adjacent room, and a kid around his age was bashing away on a set of drums in a soundproof room. Kelly lightly placed his hand on Jake’s back and led him deeper into the store since he seemed to be frozen in place. They found an employee and Kelly waved him down.

“Hey there,” he smiled. “My son is looking for a guitar.”

“Exciting!” the guy commented, nodding at Jake. “Got anything specific you’re looking for?”

“Nope,” Jake replied.

“All good,” the employee seemed prepared. “Feel free to grab a guitar off the wall and I can get it plugged into an amp for you.”

Jake could feel his heart thunder in his chest. If he wasn’t so determined to find the right guitar, he would have booked it out of the store to hide in his dad’s car until he settled down. Everything was so exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. It was a lot.

“How about I pick the first one for you, bud?” Kelly asked down to Jake. Jake had a feeling that he was doing a pretty poor job hiding how much he was panicking.

“Yes please,” he choked through the lump that was forming in his throat. Kelly gave him a supportive smile and led him to the back corner where a Squier Stratocaster was within reach. The employee removed it from its hook on the wall and motioned for Jake to take a seat on the closest cushioned stool. Jake plopped back and, before he knew it, the guitar was in his hands and buzzing to life as the employee plugged it into an impressive amp.

“Go for it,” the employee encouraged him. Jake looked over at Kelly and saw that he was waiting expectantly. Jake retrieved a pick from his jean pocket and shakily brought it up to the strings. Unsure how loud it was going to be, he carefully played a D chord, which rang through the store. Jake could feel his face flush red again. “Strong sound, huh?” the employee turned to Kelly to converse.

“That’s why I chose it,” Kelly agreed. “C’mon Jake, try and play something.”

Jake licked his dried lips and cautiously played a few bars of a Black Keys song. Even though he messed up the first notes, he managed to let off the last note of the verse with a loud, echoing ring.

“Not too bad,” the employee nodded in approval. Jake handed the guitar back to him and scanned over the wall.

“I think I want to try another one,” he thought aloud. The guitar was nice, but it didn’t feel quite right.

“Go for it,” Kelly laughed. Jake stood from the stool and wandered to the other wall to scan over the more flashy guitars. His eyes were drawn to the cherry red finish over the standard black and white bodies, and he found himself reaching for a bright red B.C. Rich Rich Legacy Doubleneck.

“Really?” Kelly asked Jake as he giddily returned to the amp.

“I need to give everything a feel to make sure I find the right one,” Jake tried to defend himself.

“There’s no way I’m letting you try out every guitar in this store,” Kelly protested.

“People have done it before,” the employee interjected as he plugged the guitar into the amp. Kelly pinched at the bridge of his nose.

“Please don’t do that to me, Jake.”

“I want a red one, so I’ll only try those.”

Kelly looked like he wanted to remind Jake that he needed to look beyond the exterior appearance of the guitar, but he held himself back. Once again the guitar roared to life and Jake closed his eyes in glee as he tried out a few licks he had been messing around with at home. His hands fumbled between the two guitar necks and, in defeat, he turned down the volume.

“I don’t think this one’s it,” he admitted in defeat.

“I could have told you that,” Kelly retorted.

Jake returned back to the tall wall of guitars and put his hands on his hips as he scanned up and down each column. There were some guitars that he knew for certain he would never touch, like the pink Hello Kitty one, or the boring old Fender Telecaster. He wanted something rugged, something unique, something that was bound to make him feel like a rockstar. Jake’s eyes finally landed on a guitar and a soft “oh” escaped from his mouth. He was looking up at probably the most stunning guitar he had ever seen: a Gibson SG Standard.

“Just like Pete Townshend,” Jake whispered in appreciation. He couldn’t take his eyes off of it, and was quickly joined by the employee.

“Want me to take it down for you?”

“Yes please.”

Jake carried the guitar back to the stool and could feel the power charging through it even before it was plugged into the amp. The cable snapped and the guitar hummed to life, sending anticipatory tingles through Jake’s fingers. Jake took a deep breath and, without thinking, tore into “Sunshine of Your Love.” It was his favorite song to play: Eric Clapton really knew what he was doing when he wrote that lick. Jake could hear the bass and drums playing along with him in his head and closed his eyes to become fully immersed in the music. Colors and shapes started dancing in front of his eyes with each note and, before he knew it, he was rocking back and forth on the stool to the beat. The colors and shapes transformed into a stage, blinding lights, and a crowd in front of him. Jake continued playing to the cheers of thousands of fans like his life depended on it. It was a massive disappointment when the song came to a close.

Jake opened his eyes and was greeted by the sight of the Guitar Center employee gaping at him, and his dad nodding his head in approval.

“This the one, son?” Kelly asked.

“I’d say so,” Jake agreed, holding the guitar close to his body. He didn’t want to let it go; the feeling he had while playing it was like nothing he had ever experienced before. Kelly seemed to understand the bond Jake had developed with the guitar since he let him carry it to the register, only letting go of it momentarily when the Guitar Center employee had to scan its tag. Kelly also let Jake pick out a guitar strap and a case, which only fueled Jake’s excitement more. While Kelly fished his credit card out of his wallet, Jake saw an older guy pointing in his direction to another employee.

“Yeah, that guy’s pretty damn good - he can’t be more than twelve years old and he’s playing Cream. Can you believe that?”

Jake couldn’t help but flash a toothy grin in the guy’s direction at his praise. He had known for a while that he loved playing guitar, but now it was clear to him that it was something he was meant to do, and that he should do for the rest of his life.

“How are you feeling?” Kelly checked with him as they walked back out into the overcast afternoon to the car.

“Alive,” Jake declared.

#gvf #greta van fleet #greta van fic #greta van fleet fanfiction #fanfiction #jake kiszka #first guitar #based on his gibson interview

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frankenhookersmonster · 2 years

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stop making sense - chapter three, “run for cover”

warnings - 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT (no smut here but this series + my blog are 18+ so minors kindly leave xx), eddie munson x afab!fem!reader, slowburn, fake dating!, kind of enemies to lovers!, catcalling, jason being gross, eddie being mean, cannon typical violence, fear of violence, mention of drug use, swearing

word count - 1.9k

series masterlist - main masterlist

i have a twitter now! follow it for fic updates and sneak peaks

got something to say? a request or concept? speak!!!

a/n - been a while! but we’re finally getting somewhere :)

You were starting to get sick of your own name, it seemed to be in everyone’s mouths. It started with Max in the car after Eddie confronted Jason. “So is Eddie your boyfriend or something?” You didn’t expect to flush at her words, but you did nonetheless. You laughed, trying to steady your hands on the wheel as you pulled up to your house. “God, no.”

At school, people would giggle as you walked by, a bit of whispering and staring went along with it. You didn’t mind, gossip and high school came hand in hand and you could handle a couple glances and the odd snicker.

Jason just stared at you now. The day after your encounter, you passed him in the hall. Though you tried not to look, maybe just to spare yourself the embarrassment, you felt his eyes bore holes into your skin and the back of your head. His face was unreadable, maybe a hint of anger which you didn’t blame him over.

You weren’t sure if Jason was genuinely scared of Eddie. When he walked away from the two of you the day before, he still seemed confident. Maybe he just didn’t want to waste his time on it any longer, any fun he had gotten from the game he played with you had fleated with the possibility of you being taken. You figured he was just more worried about being seen as a bad guy, a homewrecker. To most, Jason was the golden boy, and he wasn’t about to ruin that and steal someone away from their boyfriend, even if their boyfriend was a trailer trash freak.

You wanted to find Eddie and thank him, but he was nowhere to be seen. All day at school, you tried to keep your eye out for him, but missed him at every chance. Maybe he was just elusive, or maybe he was avoiding you and your appreciation, either way it was frustrating.

He was barely at his house the weekend that followed. Every time you had a moment to yourself, you’d look over to see his van vacant from the driveway.

You had Robin over on Saturday night, and though you checked for Eddie while you opened the door for her, he was gone and left the trailer completely dark. “Are you and Munson going out?” She asked you bluntly, shoveling popcorn into her mouth. You snorted, not even looking over to your friend when you replied. “Absolutely not.”

“Then what the hell was he doing scaring Jason off? It was like he was defending your honor or something.” You fixed yourself on the couch a bit, pulling your legs onto the cushion as you turned to Robin. “Because I asked him to!” You scoffed, “Defending my honor, come on.”

And when she had gone to sleep, you found yourself awake with the credits rolling, watching the trailer in question closely. To your surprise, Eddie pulled up, music blaring so loud you were surprised when Robin didn’t even stir. He stumbled around, pulling a guitar case out of the passenger side and hopping up the stairs and through the door. He looked clumsy, though the route he took was almost methodical. Sure, he was almost tripping over himself, but somehow it was graceful.

But when you were back at school on Monday, Eddie was a ghost again. You wandered class to class in a weird haze, hearing your name over and over again though the only person you could think of was Eddie. It was stupid, not being able to handle going about your day without thanking someone you couldn’t have cared less about the week before.

Your car had been acting up that morning, making a scary sound that made you ask Robin for a ride in. Steve Harrington always dropped her off, and though you and her may have been close, you knew Steve was her best friend. You sat in the back and listened to them bicker, trying to tune them out for a bit before realizing that it was no use.

Steve was a nice guy. You always figured he was a dick, you saw the way he treated people, but since Robin became friends with him you opened up to the idea of him being good. Sometimes when you were left alone with Steve it was awkward, but he was funny and you never felt uncomfortable.

You stood outside the front door, waiting for both of them to find you and take you home. You watched Max as she talked to Lucas, laughing as she punched his bicep. She walked with him, both of their arms brushing against each other. It was cute, made you smile a bit.

It faded though, because out of the corner of your eye you could see a mass of green. What seemed like the entire football team was parked in a new spot, one closer to the school, closer to you. You figured Jason was there, too, but you didn’t dare to move or look over. What you didn’t see, though, was Jason staring, sitting up off the hood of the car to stalk towards you. Anxiously, you looked around for your ride, tapping your elbows through crossed arms.

An arm wrapped around your shoulders. You didn’t want to look and see who it was, you figured that you knew already. The arm around you was slim, though, cool to the touch. The hand that squeezed your arm was boney, far from what you imagined Jason’s grasp to feel like. You looked up to see Eddie Munson, a dimple riddled grin spread wide across his face. “Ready to get out of here?” He asked, rubbing up and down on your arm. That’s when you noticed Jason just over Eddie’s shoulder. He was far from the two of you, but clearly trying to approach before Eddie made his move.

You drew your attention back to Eddie, a bit of hair in his face blocking out some of his features. You nodded, letting him move you forward and away from the school. “Thanks.” You looked at your feet as they stomped up the pavement in sync with his. He mumbled a quick “Don’t mention it”, checking over his shoulder briefly. “No I mean, thank you for everything the other day too. I wanted to tell you that a couple days ago but I couldn’t-” He cut you off, stopping in front of his van with his arm still around yours. “I said don’t mention it.” He moved you in front of him, not letting you out of his touch as he looked back at the football team.

“Do you need a ride?” Eddie asked, finally dropping his touch from you to open the passenger door. You looked around for a moment, finding Robin just as her eyes met yours, stepping into Steve’s car. She gave you a look, one that made you roll your eyes and answer Eddie. “Yeah, yeah I do.” Like a gentleman, Eddie gestured to the seat and gave you a hand up to it. His palms were slightly warmer now, but still far too cold for your liking, sending a small shiver up your arm. He closed you in, jogging over to his side and literally hopping up into his seat.

Once his keys were in the ignition and the van was turned on, loud music filled your ears. You jumped a bit, Eddie noticed but kept the music on just as loud. He pulled onto the main road quickly, bouncing along the potholes you knew well from behind your own wheel. You would have been perfectly happy with silence for the drive, the situation was already awkward enough, but true to form Eddie opened his mouth. “Think Jason’s panties are twisted enough yet?” He sounded annoyed, sighing before he even let out a single word.

You hugged your bag to your chest, trying not to gasp as Eddie drove full speed over a bump. “You didn’t have to help me out.” You made a good point, he didn’t have to do anything. But here you were, in his car after he all but kissed you in front of the whole school patiently waiting for him to drop you off. “When someone comes to your doorstep begging for help from the evilest of evil it’s pretty hard to turn them down.” He scoffed, checking his mirrors briefly before continuing to hurdle down the twisting Hawkins roads.

You felt steam escape your ears, your fists clenched around the straps of your backpack. “I already thanked you. Do you want me to say it again?” He raised a hand to you, swerving the car briefly when he did so. It went quiet again, you tried to look out the window but could still see Eddie’s reflection vaguely through it. It stayed silent in the van, the song had changed and Eddie hummed along absentmindedly. It made the drive, which should have felt long and treacherous, go by quickly. It felt like you blinked and you were pulling into the trailer park.

“You know,” Eddie coughed, reminding you that he was in the van with you, “Jason’s not gonna leave you alone.” You turned to look at him, squinting, maybe trying to see where he was going with his comment. “He's just gonna keep bothering you until he gets bored.” He stopped in front of his trailer, putting it in park quickly and leaning back into his seat. “I know that.” You mumbled, trying to open your door though he hadn’t unlocked it yet.

“But,” Eddie started, “I can fend him off. I’m pretty good at it too.” You chuckled, making him frown. “You’re too humble, Munson.” He hit the steering wheel, turning to look out his window. “I’m just saying, if I’m around more he might fuck off, you know?”

Your smile turned just as he came back to look at you. He seemed sheepish, a new look for him. “What?” He shrugged at you, letting out an exhale after you spoke. “Everybody already thinks I’m your boyfriend, why not entertain them?” You froze, expression unrecognizable to Eddie as you pondered his proposition. “If we pretend to date, maybe Jason will get bored quicker. He’ll get out of your hair.” You were still staring off into space, trying to completely understand what he was asking you.

“What do you get out of this?” You asked. It was a good question, too, he owed you nothing. “I’d do anything to be a nuisance to certain basketball captains.” He grinned, getting a bit closer to your face. You couldn’t help the small chuckle you let out, he followed with his own little giggle. Eddie backed up again, running a hand through his curls and fixing his bangs. “Okay.”

He hit the steering wheel happily, unlocking your door from his side. “This mean I can walk around with my hand in your back pocket?” Your cheeks warmed, hands fidgeting as you tried to hide your face from his. The idea of anyone putting their hand in your pocket could give you butterflies, you just didn’t want the bashfulness to go to waste on something fake. “See you at school, okay?” You adjusted yourself once you stood on the dir of his driveway, slinging your bag over your shoulder and holding the car door in one hand. “Okay.” He grinned again, waving you away. You obliged, shutting the door securely and heading to your house, face still hot.

taglist - click here to be added!: @maresmiley @molllybc @jaidarei412 @theroyalbrownbarbie @flowerbox @cherryandsugar @joshkiszkal0ver @ezzynf @wheaty-melon @vyralew18 @theirkenfiles @myranda222 @mil0fl00d @rapnunster @dazedgxth @cherryandsugar @eddiemuns0nl0ver @angelina0191

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ripeteeth · 1 year

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five things you never get tired of writing

Thank you for the tag, @danpuff-ao3!

So, I have to confess that I've grown to hate talking about writing and my process, as I'm constantly afraid of coming off as ultra-pretentious or self-involved. But hey, as my therapist likes to point out, that's my trauma talking, baby! So it might actually be a helpful exercise to think about the parts I really do love.

Before I get started, I'm tagging @mia-ugly, @soft-october-night, @weatheredlaw, @racketghost, @iodhadh, @jaggededges123, @veganthranduil, and anyone else who wants to do it!

the body and everything with it

I'm a bit obsessed with everything visceral. I love imagery of the body - the bones, the tissues, the skin and sinew. I love the constant process of our growth and erosion of ourselves into death. I'm just fascinated with our constant war - we are always both our body and at odds with our body. We spin complex, intricate stories to escape the simple fact that we are animal - put on this earth to eat, drink, fuck, and die. I'm fascinated by the concept of holiness as a rejection of the body, like the Cathars taught. If earthliness is evil, and the body is earthly, then all things related to the body must be evil. We're told that the saints denied themselves - food, companionship, drink, touch. How can the one thing that we are freely given be evil? I can't stomach it. Look, even our language is somatic. I can't stomach it. Get a leg up. One foot on the ground. Head in the clouds. To be separated from the body is death, and I want to roll around in the visceral aspects of language and description.

2. trivia and scientific/historical minutiae

Writing is fun for me because I'm a bit of a magpie about trivia and love to drop in little details about parchment-making or historical polar expeditions or so on. I'm really thriving and enjoying writing my Frankenstein story as there's so much to include - details about anatomical plates, about Luigi Galvani, about historical dissection and surgery. Picture it as a nerd shoving a book under your nose going look, look, this is so cool! That's basically what I'm doing every time.

3. food

Okay, so this is sort of cheating, because all food is a body of some kind or another - plant or animal - and thus we're back to my fixation with the visceral. But I have a deep love of food and cooking, so I can spend ages on the line of cream that rises to the top of milk, the scent of garlic and onions in a cast-iron pan, the tender bruising of a plum at the bottom of a bag, the perfect scent of a sprig of rosemary. Food has always been a focus in my family, despite how completely poor we were, and my mom's treat to herself was to pick up a food magazine now and again - usually Gourmet or Saveur. I would spend ages with her carefully poring over each brightly lit page, admiring the way the light gleamed on olive-oil tossed pasta, and how it disappeared into the powdery dark cocoa of chocolate truffles. We couldn't afford it then but I learned a language of food I had not yet tasted. As we got a little more secure and comfortable, my mother would bring home treats - preserved lemons in a ball jar, duckfat in a quart container in the freezer. I eventually learned how to cook and attended culinary school, later working in restaurants, and it's been a revelation of pairing these things I have heard of - duck, sumac, creme fraiche - with the actual texture and taste. There's something incredibly magical to me about the language of food. The imagery of it. The brutal physicality of it. We make food beautiful because we love it. It feeds us, nourishes us - but I am also fascinated by the fact that food implies death. Everything that feeds us has once lived. We consume the bodies of others; we'll be consumed ourselves. There's something both sacred and profane about that, I think.

4. myth, religion, and monstrosity

It probably comes as no surprise to anyone who reads my shit that I grew up in an incredibly religious area, soaked to the bone with Calvinist damage. I went to a Christian Reformed church and cut my teeth on coloring books with Christ's body dying on the Cross. I doubt I will ever have a wholly comfortable relationship with religion and that comes through. I love to write characters struggling with religion and the claustrophobic, oppressive feeling of an unairconditioned church in the height of summer, hundreds of voices repeating the same things, singing the same songs. This is also why I'm fixated on monstrosity. It's about abjection, right? The abject other? You are alone in the middle of a sea, different from the others. You are queer. Uneasy. Separate. An infection the body is searching for and seeking to eliminate. I can't separate the two. One and other, holiness and monstrosity. I want to write about them and mix the imagery - a holy monster, a monstrous saint. I am a child standing at the fountain soda machine and pushing all the buttons. I love myth for that, because you're given imagery and a language to evoke this. Is a chimera evil? Medusa had her head cut off for a bad hair day, but was it her fault? I always come back to this quote from Ocean Vuong in On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous:

“What I really wanted to say was that a monster is not such a terrible thing to be. From the Latin root monstrum, a divine messenger of catastrophe, then adapted by the Old French to mean an animal of myriad origins: centaur, griffin, satyr. To be a monster is to be a hybrid signal, a lighthouse: both shelter and warning at once.”

5. desire, sexuality, and erotism

Okay, so this is it. This is REALLY IT, which is - I KNOW - back to the body again. When I fixate, I fixate. But I want to be more specific. I'm fascinated with how we are creatures of desire. We're born needing. We need to be fed, to be cared for, to be held. We are a bundle of wants and that never changes, only the shape of our desires change. How do we introduce ourselves? "Hi, I am so and so and when I grow up I want to be -" So many things are about our desire. We struggle with it so much, with the wanting and the inability to have. With our shame for wanting. We want to eat and feel guilt for it. We want to sleep in and feel ashamed. We want, we want, we want. It is endless and consuming. I love characters tormented by desire, twisting their shame into spiraling rituals around it. Have you ever read Hunger by Knut Hamsun? It changed me. This is a man who wants very simple things but who damns himself in his rejection of his want. I love that. I'm fascinated. Desire is so endlessly bewitching because I want to understand why we desire the things we do. I remember reading Crash by J.G. Ballard and coming away floored by this erotic desire that was so strange to me, so completely and wholly not my own, yet somehow familiar in the viscerality of it. In truth, I frequently reverse-engineer my original characters. I begin with a kink and one wholly incorrect fact that they adamantly believe and then build them from there. Beginning with the kink is so fun for me, because I want to then ask how did you get here, what is your relationship to this eroticism and why, how do you feel about it, how do you share it? Whether or not I ever include the sexual life of the character or the kink itself doesn't matter, but it tends to prompt a lot of thought about who the character is and why. If we are the sum of our desires, then I figure it helps to take a good, long look at them.

#writing meme

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diesoonandsuffer · 8 months

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my thoughts on star trek: uhh. indoctrination? insubordination? what the fuck was it called...INSURRECTION

yeah that one.

MID.......this had the same problem generations had where it sort of felt like a very drawn out episode of the next generation, only this one didn't have the benefit of showing the tng set with a movie lens, which is half of what i find interesting about generations. it also doesn't help the "long tng episode" allegations when the plot of this movie is basically the plot of two s7 episodes, "brothers" and "journeys end," since the whole thing fringes on helping a colony stay where they are and avoiding disobeying the prime directive, but also there are some themes about time at play.

this movie also introduced a lot of things at the beginning that were ignored or dropped completely later, which is easier to get away with in the cold open of a show but not so much a movie when every second of screen time matters. like the new species joining the federation at the beginning was there mostly for laughs and to introduce the enterprise crew, silly me thought they might come into the plot again towards the end in a convenient sort of way but they never did.

same with troi and riker! and it annoyed me so much bc i clocked they were gonna get back together as soon as they were assigned to work on a mission, and again silly me thinking that throughout the movie they would slowly fall back in love with each other and it would tie into the events of the movie, but NOPE it all happens quickly and at the beginning and then is dropped. it only comes back when riker is like damn did i only like her again bc i felt young and worf is like no you've literally always loved her. which! could have been a really interesting concept if explored in detail, like instead of riker and troi being separated they are both down on the planet slowly falling back in love while their bodies get a bit younger, and they have to wonder if they really do love each other now or if it's just the planet, and then at the end decide to take the chance with each other anyways! wow that would have been a really cool b-plot but why would they do that when they could *checks notes* get riker to shave his beard i guess. WHATEVER!

i did get annoyed at the beginning when i saw that data was going evil sicko mode again because like we've DONE that, but luckily it ended up being something else and he's mostly irrelevant for the rest of the movie besides his small C plot. i wish they never introduced that damn emotion chip because it makes all of his stories kind of stupid. like they say in this one he doesn't have it and then his plot is about wanting to know what it's like to be a child, and he learns to play and have fun. which would have been compelling if he didn't have access to an emotion chip, which he does, so what's the point anymore? i know nemesis is going to be more data centric (and like i know okay. i know about it i'm not excited for it) and i can't wait for me to hate the execution

what else happened in the movie......i did like the subtle way they introduced what was happening to the planet, maybe it was obvious to others but personally i didn't catch it. like worf sleeping in just felt like a ha ha moment and riker having a mid-life crisis just sounds normal, but when you look back on those and other moments once you realize everyone has been getting a bit younger the whole movie, it makes sense. so i liked that, i also liked the concept of the planet in general, that they have the capability for great technology and choose not to use it and live a simpler life. i guess when you're effectively immortal it makes it an easier choice to make, but still.

the villains i didn't much care for, first of all their weird stretched skin that sometimes ruptured was just gross to look at, but also i just didn't find them very compelling. the federation admiral that was working with them was sort of interesting, i do appreciate when the grey areas of starfleet are highlighted, but it still wasn't super compelling.

overall, this movie definitely had some pacing issues and as mentioned just felt like a long tng episode that i basically had already seen before. some fun moments and interesting concepts but it so easily could have been made better with some tweaks. oh well!

#it's so crazy to think i only have one star trek movie left #since i guess they didn't make any for the other shows and i've already seen the kelvin timeline films #i will miss them when i'm done i think it was fun to finish a show and then see it expanded in a cinematic way #i imagine once i watch like ds9 and stuff i would have wanted movies for them too #but that's a bit away we still have nemesis to watch #sam's thots #the way by the time i've written this post i've forgotten the title again #tng #insurrection

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ladyhindsight · 1 year

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For a climactic point, it sure is boring. This chapter also holds a lot of quoting previous writing. Fun.

Clary is back at the helm. Jace had stunned her and she “comes back to consciousness in the marble lobby of a strange building, under the shadow of an unlit chandelier.” The chandelier has been described now by Simon and Clary. Jace brings Clary to the terrace and Clary finally sees Sebastian.

In the previous chapter, Simon also called it Snow White-esque scene. Glad to see the same descriptions circulating between the characters.

→ Second seaweed mention.

This kind of naivete and blind trust in a situation where Jace obviously is not himself will only get you hurt.

Oh, right. The poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison. That poison?

→ How many times can you repeat the same information

Lilith then, once again, explains the plot, and Clary is shocked to find that their actions have consequences.

Again with the remembering. Also, loving this second moment of self-consciousness but as it amounts to nothing, it means nothing. Self-loathing and pity mean nothing.

→ There has never been given a reason why exactly it was kept secret. It’s not like Jace’s family ever crossed their minds. It’s not like Clary wanted to hide the selfish thing she did when she only asked for Jace. There is nothing, just plain agreement. Also, Jace is just as much complicit in the secret-keeping as Clary is.

Lilith, again, for the third time, explains the plot. Good lord, I hope they all are finally on the same page.

The first sentence is useless because you can first show the flash of realization and then confirm it with dialogue.

→ The demon woman’s voice had dropped to a low chant, and Clary saw her father standing inside a pentagram...

We return to the Investigation Team who have arrived to the mysterious building with an unlit chandelier.

Yes, shut up, Jordan. I will maim you.

The reaction this is going for → Aww, despite all this time hating Jordan, Maia still held onto a toe ring he bought her! She still has feelings for him despite everything, and now that she knows the truth, they can get back together!

Yuck.

They search every floor, and in one they find something horrible, but the writing cuts away back to the roof garden to keep the suspense up.

→ Pointless adverb when we can see Jace being obedient to Lilith’s orders.

LILITH EXPLAINS THE PLOT FOR THE FOURTH TIME.

Enough for demon thoughts to afflict him but not enough that Jace and Alec’s parabatai bond should ever be brought up or taken into consideration.

Why is this so hard concept for them to grasp? Why does this need to be explained gazillion times?

Whenever Simon and Clary’s history is brought up in attempt to call feelings from their long friendship, Simon’s character always goes to their early childhood, how he wanted to protect Clary, how tiny Clary is. Clary is always a this innocent little girl with braids who thinks about princes and castles. These memories are rather appearance-centered and pretty general. There is nothing really personal about these moments when Simon or Clary think of each other.

I liked when in the TV show, Clary says to Simon: “You’re still the same, Simon. You’re the same Simon I’ve known my whole life. The same guy who loves sci-fi and can recite every line from... from every Nicholas Cage movie. The same Simon who carried me over the Brooklyn Bridge when I lost my shoe, okay?”

Because these are more specific details that focus on Simon as a person, and how Clary knows Simon, not just how Simon looks like.

One consistent point about Simon’s character is his sense of responsibility over Clary. Clary supposedly has it too, over Simon, but she is written so engulfed by Jace that it has never given similar chances to manifest.

How can the lid vanish while it peels back? It can’t. →The lid peeled back like the lid of a tin of sardines. As the top layer...

→ Writes a paragraph about how the lid vanishes and peels back → Feels the need to tell you the coffin is now open because some dumbasses might not be able to keep up.

→ Simon had hungered to drink Maureen’s blood, craved the feeling of his teeth sinking into her skin...

Simon bites into Sebastian’s neck, and we switch back to the Investigation Team. They have discovered several dead devil babies and are feelings pretty sick about it.

As he should.

Alec is of the Clave. This is barely brought up that he is also of the Conclave.

It’s irrelevant to be so vague about some piece of cloth on which one rubs their snot. → Jordan had given her a handkerchief.

Let Jordan be a handkerchief guy.

We know Sebastian was fast and strong. You can also deliver the main point without saying or ruminating over complementary things at all. ↓

“Why would anyone want more of him?” Alec’s voice was full of naked hatred.

“I guess they’re trying to breed a race of super-warriors,” Isabelle said.

HOW UNPREPARED WERE THEY?? Isabelle saw the place was dark as fuck, her pendant pulsed with demonic presence, yet she did not give herself runes to prepare for a possible battle??

The Tracksuit Person stalks the Investigation Team and Isabelle catches her. It is truly exciting. The Tracksuit Person then explains the plot from the cult’s point of view.

The highlighted part is irrelevant and veers too much from the moment. It’s irrelevant when Isabelle is going to deliver this information to the readers anyway, so one might suppose she knows a lot about the demon cults.

Alec comes to look for Isabelle who has separated from the others while giving chase.

This is just confusing the way the conversation is formatted. Because Isabelle is disgusted, it seems like what turn out to be Alec’s words are hers. The pattern repeats itself in the next paragraph, but here we are right to assume they are her words.

→ “She can’t hurt him, Izzy,” said Alec in a reasonable voice. “I know you’re worried, but he’s got...”

Alec and Isabelle are interrupted by an elevator ping. The rest of the Tracksuit Gang attack them.

#Clary Fray #Simon Lewis #Isabelle Lightwood #Sebastian Morgenstern #City of Fallen Angels #CoFA Chapter 17

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purplesurveys · 9 months

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1726

Do you plan your meals in any way? Given how little I eat, the concept just sounds so foreign to me. I have one meal daily and just go with whatever's available at home – I don't decide on what I eat until I'm already in front of the fridge or pantry.

Have you ever been front row at a concert? Which one(s), and how was the experience? Just once, when I saw Paramore in 2018. It was incredibly fun, and because of that experience I know I'd still be willing to do it again with an artist I really admire.

Initially it felt daunting because I went alone, but once you're there you realize how nobody really gives a fuck about that kind of stuff – you're all there to have fun. That said I let loose as soon as the band showed up and I ended up having a wonderful time.

What's the strongest earthquake you've ever experienced? I'm just not sure about 'strongest.' I've felt more earthquakes than I can count, but they've all been more or less the same magnitude. There have been earthquakes that last quite a while though and it's those that have made me more nervous than usual.

Do you know your best friend's middle name? Both of theirs, yes.

If you have a passport, where do you store it for safekeeping? I have a mini drawer that stores all the Very Important Life Documents I Should Never Lose, so like my passport, birth certificate, NBI clearance and all that stuff.

What's your favourite kind of juice and when did you last drink some? I'm not a fan of juice.

Were you in the scouts when you were young? I wasn't.

How long are your fingernails right now? They're growing out-ish but they don't look too gross yet. I'd trim them before it gets to that point.

Do you like the Scream movies? I was obsessed with the first as a teenager, but I never held the same attachment with the sequels.

What sort of music have you been listening to lately? K-pop, what a surprise...

Are there any bills you need to pay? Not bills but I do have to pay the balance for K-pop merch I recently got by the 25th.

Have you ever been told you look like a celebrity? Yeah I've gotten Olivia Rodrigo and Frankie Pangilinan who themselves are lookalikes. I've also heard Anna Akana more times than I can count.

How many people could sleep in your home? (Not counting floor space, beds and couches only) Around 10, I'd say.

Are you a fast reader? Yes. I may have dropped reading years ago but I've never lost how quick I can be at reading.

Do you own a leather jacket? No, absolutely no use for it in this country.

Is there a university campus in your city or town? It's not technically in *this* city, but then again the Philippines is relatively super small that Metro Manila, where most of the big universities are, is just a stone's throw away. The university I attended is only 30 minutes away on a good day and I drove to and from home everyday.

Who last called you on the phone? Did you pick up? If so, how long did you talk? Somebody related to work, and no I did not pick up. Besides the fact that I had been driving, I don't appreciate people calling because 99.9% of the time it'd work out the same way if they just texted.

What grocery store/supermarket do you shop at most frequently? S&R.

Do you know how to play the card game Hearts? I don't think I've even ever heard of it.

Are you a more of a light or heavy sleeper? Very heavy.

Have you ever done freelance work? What did you do? I have not.

Name four things you can see right now. My electric fan, pillows, handbag, and TV.

Do you charge your phone every day? Well...yes. I usually do by the end of the day since it's also the time when it typically becomes close to dying.

Is your washing machine currently running? No.

How's your energy levels today? Pretty low.

Have you ever torn a muscle? Nopes.

Do you have any cereal in your house at the moment? As far as I know, no.

When was the last time you went out to eat? Where did you go and who with? Monday, I was with Celeste at S Maison and she picked a Chinese restaurant for our dinner.

Is the street you live on short, long, or somewhere in the middle? Short.

Should you be in bed right now? Not necessarily but this is also the last survey I'll be taking for the day. It's currently 11:30 PM so it's still pretty early, but I do already want to snuggle in bed and start watching IG Reels (my usual pre-sleep routine) but I don't think I'll start trying to fall asleep until 1 or 2.

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rev-feaw · 10 months

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Why Genshin Impact’s Summer Fantasia Patch is Amazing (A Spatial Analysis) - Part 1

It’s the time of the year again: summer! Genshin Impact 3.8 Trailer is already out, so I think this is the good time to drop the fruit of my overthinking for almost a year ago. I saw many people already “analyzed” Genshin lore, META, characterizations etc but not about the overall worldbuilding/3D concept in spatial sense (NOT technical sense like Blender tutorial or cultural inspirations) so I’d like to fill that hole--thanks to my architecture background I guess, sorry LOL.

I’ll talk about how Genshin went all out in 2.8 worldbuilding/landscape, how their concept is very amazing and well thought, very integral to the story and characters and fun to play. And all of these are just for ONE event, despite I thought this is how Genshin should be. Also this was one of my favorite event so I like to do some breakdown about it!!

Let’s start! Be prepared... this is gonna be LONG

Part 1 - Intro

a. What kind of game is Genshin Impact?

Genshin Impact is a well known game as per 2023. Personally I don’t play so many games outside mobile gacha and pixel ones, but I can say for certain: Genshin is an anime gacha game, get over it. It was developed by a developer known for this genre, and since I’ve played several anime gacha games before I can tell based on the characterization, grinding, wishing, and events system this is where Genshin belongs to. However, a big HOWEVER, there’s one thing that separates Genshin from the rest (as per 2020): the explorable world. This is also where people compare Genshin to other open-world games, but since Genshin was born from anime gacha game it makes it has no competitor overall. It’s an anime gacha game by system, executed like an open world games.

As months passed by, Genshin also finally shown its good and bad. There are many, many things need to be criticized in this game, but in my opinion there are also some aspects that always delivers in every patches. The first is music, Genshin music is very top notch and using real orchestra, imo it’s hard to make real orchestra flop. And the second, the one I’m more confident to breakdown: the worldbuilding. I wouldn’t say Genshin’s worldbuilding is unmatched, but it’s definitely up there, SS tier. And this is circled back to my previous point: Genshin is a different anime gacha game. Many gacha games have great world building and lore already, my personal favorite is Fate/Grand Order and this is how they presented it:

youtube

FGO’s ways of storytelling

Only through letters, 2D visuals and mini-maps, yet still delivers. You can’t move around your characters freely tho... imagine an open-world FGO... that’d be very groundbreaking.

Genshin Impact, notable as the first open world anime gacha game has more freedom to express their worldbuilding. How they do it? This is what I’m gonna breakdown here.

This is a Genshin Impact worldbuilding appreciation post!

b. The Space as a Media

Firstly, I’m not gonna explain about how they have cultural or whatever inspiration, here I’ll more dive on their spatial use & composition. What’s this spatial thing anyway?

What I mean is “space” as a media, no, not that kind of outer space. People with 3D design or architecture background maybe already familiar with this. Well, imagine a blank canvas, then an artist draw something over it. Whatever genre they did, everything must have a composition. What is composition anyway? The easy answer is “placement”, how to make things look good on the canvas. The artist will decide where they gonna put this most important blob, where to leave the canvas empty, etc. They may make abstract, or impressionism, or even anime art, but the composition is always there.

Now imagine a 3D box, you have the whole box. There are X, Y, Z axis formed a volume inside the box and you can do whatever you want. This is, the volume, is the “space”, the media to pour your imagination. If we talk in musical sense, what I’m going to look is about the chord progression and things like that, not about what instrument used.

Imagine putting an object ANYWHERE in that box and think “how did that thing able to be there?”, then imagine some elements that “help” the object to be there. Those elements formed a composition. (img src)

Well this isn’t the most correct definition but I hope you get it. Let’s talk about it in Genshin’s manner!

Let’s compare Sumeru’s landscape with Inazuma’s. We got different hills, rivers, floating devices (four leaf sigil/thunderbolt device), but in essence they’re similar, right? These components formed into a composition in a 3D space, while the dendro + South/Middle Asia and electro+ Japanese aesthetic and inspirations are “just” the genre. How about spatial use?

The “object” is Traveler, and they’re able to float mid-air (fully occupying the 3D space than just do “earth humanlike” movements) thanks to floating devices

This is where things are getting interesting. The user of this space are us, the player, or more specifically whoever active character we pick on field. Spatial use means how is this character gonna occupy/exploit/experience the space? What kind of exploitation can be performed in a space?

We have 3D space, means our character will not only walk back and forth. We can make them go higher, or lower. We can alter the gravity so our character will float in air, or walking upside down.. et cetera.

In these Sumeru and Inazuma landscape we mainly use the space as we did in real world, unless for that four-leaf sigils and thundering thing. That thing can move our character swiftly in the air, and this kind of thing’s nature is what I’m gonna explain here.

c. How Genshin Impact Plays Around with Space

Genshin Impact is an adventure game, so a space isn’t a mere place to settle. The easiest logic of space exploitation/experience is just how far our character can get into? Try to watch several “domain-breaking” videos, it’s basically apparent how the dev wants the player to experience the space: mostly to make the surface walkable. If it isn’t, then you’re playing the game differently from the dev’s intent.

youtube

An example of how to play NOT according with dev’s intent

The open-world part of Genshin is easy to understand. It is mainly just like our earth with normal gravity, normal ground, normal walls etc.. maybe just their shapes are weirder. The unusual ones are usually the devices to go higher, like wind currents, thunderbolts, windy stones in The Chasm..

The domains, however, has many unique mechanism that can exploit a space differently than before. It’s already apparent ever since 1.0, in earlier domains (personally I like Lisa’s) but they barely develop it until this Summer Odyssey patch (I think), the four unique domains in this event are so amazing! They’re so different with what we’ve encountered so far, and I mean in the spatial sense too!

To make things clear, of course Genshin isn’t the only one who did something like this. Plenty of movies and games already did this as well! For example in the movies: Dr Strange and Inception. Look at how they alter the space so people can do activities in unusual areas. As for games, Stray game is one prime example! Look at how our world became different when we turned into a cat.

d. The Summer Odyssey Mirages

Why I’m emphasizing Summer Odyssey Mirages (2.8 domains) so much?

Well, this is the first time in my opinion Genshin Impact really make use of their 3D freedom to make great storytelling. In short, finally Genshin found a unique way native to Genshin-only to tell the lore of the game better. Why I can say for certain like this? It’s not like Genshin is the only 3D game. Yes, but for the current anime gacha game (July 2022), it is.

So far, I think Genshin is struggling to retell the vast lore of the game in form of playable storyline. They’re scattered everywhere: in characters’ pages, artifacts, books, item descriptions, weapons, etc… and who the hell gonna read all of that except for some lore maniacs (I’m not even one of them) while some infos stated there are important. I never skip dialogues, yet I still missed big chunks of info since I don’t bother myself to read most of those items.

Most anime gacha games tells everything in their VN (visual novel) style texts. That’s why maybe for some people they don’t think Genshin’s story is that deep, because what we’ve experienced in-game dialogues are minimal compared to things like these:

Honkai Impact 3rd (I didn’t know this game also DON’T have log feature)

Fate/Grand Order story log

Arknights story log

See, they are able to put everything into paragraphs and no one will protest, because that’s how their game format is. Genshin, however, is not. Try to read these lore dumps, very unentertaining amirite?

Genshin Impact Inazuma AQ Finale (I had a grudge with this chapter)

Thankfully, Genshin’s nature of the game let them go beyond mere texts. While it took WAY more effort and time, a spatial experience can be a good way to tell a story. And this is what Summer Odyssey Mirages are. They are domains to tell stories, by letting the players experience the space.

They positioned the components of story & lore in a 3D space that can be perceived by visual and hearing. It feels like you’re experiencing the story yourself, and not only the visible/tangible aspects incorporated into the domains, but also the intangible ones like emotions. You can see in Kazuha’s, the house looks more and more a run down as we progressed there just like his state of legacy:

From Kazuha’s second domain

This is what I’ll try to explain based on my understanding and experience of playing the event. I’ll keep this objectively subjective so at least people who didn’t like it as much as I did (well, that event was VERY long and tedious so, understandable) can understand why I like it.

See you in next chapter!

#genshin impact #analysis - sort of probably #Summer Odyssey Mirages #personal essay #gaming #gacha games #3d #architecture #--maybe lol

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