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#BUT THEN proceeded to tell me we were having lunch with her HUSBAND’S family at noon
lesbiansanemi · 4 months
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Do you think if I wish hard enough my mom will get electrocuted by a string of Christmas lights and just go up in a cloud of smoke. It’d be a Christmas miracle
#I’m not even DOWN THERE YET and I want to fucking KILL HER#I have to work Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. I live four hours away from my family#I told her this MANY TIMES I said I’ll drive down after work on Christmas Eve be there Christmas morning but I need to leave by 3-4 to get#home at a reasonable hour so I can have time to unpack/catch up on a couple days of chores/get plenty of sleep#she called me last night and told me she didn’t schedule Christmas stuff until SIX PM#and when I said why tf did you do that I’m not staying that late#she got mad and upset and was like ‘it’s the only time everyone is free :(‘#BUT THEN proceeded to tell me we were having lunch with her HUSBAND’S family at noon#(ppl I am not close with never have been literally don’t talk to)#and everyone I know is like ‘just leave when you said you were going to anyways’#and like yeah I could but then my family is gonna be ENRAGED that I didn’t do Christmas stuff with them#and they’re like ‘well explain that your mom didnt listen to when you said you needed to leave’#but the thing is. no matter what. they’re going to take her side#I should sacrifice my time and comfort to spend time with them because they’re FAMILY#never mind that literally not a SINGLE ONE OF THEM has EVER come up to visit me#IM always expected to drive down there. but that sacrifice doesn’t count it’s not good enough#but if I stay that late I won’t be getting home until AT LEAST midnight or later#cuz my family has no fucking concept of time so if it starts at six that means it doesn’t ACTUALLY start until 7 so most of them might be#there by 8 so I’ll be expected to stay until at least 10 to sufficiently catch up with all of them#I’m going to scream I’m going to cry#if I leave early I’m the awful ungrateful terrible bitch who never comes to see any of them#but none of them could adjust their days by just a few hours to see me before I needed to leave#FOR MY FUCKING JOB !!!!!!!! SOMETHING COMPLETELY OUT OF MY CONTROL#and like the thing is. my piece of shit manipulative bitch mother#I KNOW she did this on purpose#I know she didn’t plan this until six to FORCE me to stay longer because she was mad I wasn’t staying long#(again… because of work… something I can’t control)#so she’s orchestrated this to put me in this position#where I have to suck it up and stay and be exhausted and have tired migraines for a week cuz I get only a couple hours of sleep and then#or leave and make everyone pissed. I hate her so FUCKING much
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letterforyou1984 · 2 months
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You Used To Be My Sister
For 25 years I've considered you my best friend. Family. My sister from another mister. We have been through so much shit together.
But, since you stop speaking to me, it's given me time to look back at all the red flags from our entire friendship. Things I've ignored or made excuses for. This isn't me saying I've been perfect either, just saying I should have seen this coming from miles away.
Let's go back to 8th grade. When we met. It was Whitney that made first contact. I don't remember you and I talking much in 8th grade, except during the classes we had together. In gym we bonded over being the "fat" kids, but you made it weird, very quickly. You would beg me to wear my JNCO jeans whenever I wore them to school. My prized possession jeans. My coveted jeans. You would beg me starting at the beginning of gym class, every day I wore them. When I finally caved you would parade around in my jeans while I was wearing your jeans. Then we would trade back right before getting on the bus.
Once the school year was over, we didn't speak at all. Not until the 1st day of high school. Then, somehow I still don't understand, we became inseparable. Talked on the phone every day, ate lunch together every day, passed notes in classes, covered for each other when one was late. Well, more so me covering for you. It got to the point that the teacher would ask me where you were and to go get you.
I knew you were not living in a very safe living situation, and I never judged you for that. If anything I did my best to make sure you could hang out with me or spend the night as much as possible. Then when I started driving I would pick you up as often as I could to get you out of that house. But you were incredibly selfish.
First time I noticed it was when we were supposed to spend the weekend at your dads house in Columbus. Except one of his buddies picked us up, not your dad, and dropped us off at your dads. For us to finally be told your dad was in Vegas gambling and playing billiards. You got pissed at me for calling my parents and telling them of the very unsafe situation we were left in. We were 13 and 14 and I had no idea who that man and his daughter were. But I knew they weren't your dad, who we were supposed to be spending the weekend with.
Any guy I liked, you had to flirt with. Every. Single. Guy. When I finally got the courage to bring it up you would say "omg I didn't know. I was just being nice. I can never tell if I'm coming across as flirting or not" but then you would continue to repeat that cycle for YEARS.
When you left your husband and started dating Jim I went to the Dayton mall with you, so you could see him. You asked me if you could borrow my favorite dress and then proceeded to have sex with him, in his van, wearing my favorite dress, while I sat in the car next to the van hoping security wouldn't show up. I also went to a hotel with you just for him to show up and try and have sex with you, with me in the next bed. Then I was the problem because I got pissed and walked out of the room while yelling at Jim.
Let's not forget how many times I went to West Jeff with you just to be left alone while you made out with someone. Or the time you completely left the party to go have sex with someone. I didn't know any of those people and you left me alone. Even they were mad at you. Hell, your aunt told me to get in the car while she drove to the dudes house to yell at you for leaving me alone at the party.
You did the same thing when we would go out with Chris and his buddies. You two would vanish to go have sex somewhere and I'm left with complete strangers.
You lived with my mom after you left Chris, not paying a penny of rent you agreed/promised her you would pay, I watched your kid for free, and you didn't seem phased at all that it was a financial drain having two extra mouths and no extra income.
Then you started dating Nihk after I started talking to him, just to have him spend the nights knowing how I felt about the situation. And this was after you were caught making fun of me not knowing for a few weeks to your friend Mike!
You made fun of me constantly and then lied about it when I would find out.
"Ty didn't have any money so I had to get it for her"
"It wasn't fair to not get Ty something to eat."
"Ty doesn't know that we made out for hours while she was gone"
"Ty is over reacting to everything and it's pathetic"
Yes, there were moments you were a great friend and there when I needed you, but way too many times what you wanted came first.
I still remember the time I called you in tears, locked in my bathroom, because my boyfriend was screaming at me and kicking things around the house. It took you THREE HOURS to show up because you had stops to make first.
You knew I had a crush on Carly but every single time we saw her, you would look me dead in the eyes and go "I'm sorry, but I would fuck the shit out of her" and start laughing.
If you thought I guy I was talking to at the bar was cute you would pushing your way between us and start flirting with him.
Then we get to this fight in July 2023 where you are just sitting back while I have tabby and Sadi come at me in the group chat. You know how I get when I feel attacked or backed into a corner. I get defensive and I shut down.
You even messaged me privately trying to help me word my responses to get my point across without making it worse. Yet when I tried it your way, and tabby got more pissed off, you immediately took her side on things. You called me a liar and told me I was dramatic, that I've always been dramatic. That I thrive on it. This is not even a month after telling you both there was a strong chance I was autistic.
Not one single time before this fight was it ever brought to my attention that I was upsetting anyone. Or that people felt I was being dismissive or defensive.
All of the sudden I have three people at once telling me how horrible I am and how I'm making them miserable. Then Sadi is getting upset because I wouldn't tell her certain things and that I didn't consider her part of the friend group. She was, just not for me how she was for you and Tabby. Hell, it took a year of you talking to tabby on your own because we even started the group chat. It takes me longer to trust people and let them in. This is not a secret. But then you're watching me get berated for it and say nothing. Next thing I know you're telling me you're setting a boundary, without saying what the boundary is, and completely on tabby's side of things.
You have ONLY ever cared about yourself and how you come across to people.
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ecodweeb · 5 years
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Another Saturday, another cat transport...
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If you’ve followed me for more than a year, you know that I tend to do a lot of animal transports for rescue groups. This weekend’s is for the Siamese Cat Rescue Center, taking an adopted cat from the foster home in Cary to the adopter who is rendezvousing with us in Roanoke. Coincidentally, I have family in nearby Salem. This trip was the perfect opportunity to test out some route theories since there aren’t any DC Fast chargers along the usual route.
The route looks like this: Leave home in Raleigh, drive 17 miles to pick up the kitten in Cary, then 76 miles to VIRginia International Raceway (VIR) to charge for a half hour, then it’s 99 miles to the handoff point (a Mexican restaurant with a charger) in Roanoke.  From here we will eat lunch while the car charges (1hr) and then drive over to Blacksburg to DC fast for at least a half hour (may take 45 minutes given the Signet charger). From here, we had to tell Plugshare we wanted to go to the Hotel Floyd to get it to keep us on Route 8 all the way down to our trusty Greenlots in Greensboro. Route 8 is largely downhill once you get to Floyd…
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How did the Ioniq do?
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We started the day off in Raleigh with 100% charge and drove over to Cary using highways (important to note that the above map slows the route entirely as no-highway). We picked up our very vocal little passenger and proceeded to head up to VIR. We arrived at VIR with 36% power and 91.2 miles on the trip odometer. The car said it would take 46 minutes to fully charge, and I was only anticipating to charge for 30 minutes. We turned the AC on for the kitty and walked over to the guard shack to sign in and head over to the Pro Shop.
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VIR has good signage to reflect that there is (free, thanks Nissan!) EV charging on site. You do not need to enter the race grounds to access the station. The lady at the guard shack arranged a ride down to the pro shop for us, which was mighty kind of her. We got to the Pro Shop and saw Don, who runs the shop. He and my husband are old friends, so they set into catching up while I woofed down a chicken-egg-n-cheese Bojangles biscuit (that I’d been hanging on to since we pass thru Durham), and looked at the gear for sale. Don asked bout John’s motorcycle, which led to a conversation about my Energica. After a solid half hour, I said we need to get back to the car. Unfortunately, we had no ride back… so we had to walk. Over a mile. In 95F heat with no shade. I was not a happy camper.
Back at the car, we walked up right as it finished charging. I toweled off, hopped into the very cold cabin, and we headed north on back roads to Roanoke. The drive was absolutely lovely, and we arrived with 25% battery left - more than enough to make it to the DC Fast charger in Blacksburg. But I picked the restaurant I did because they have free Level 2 charging, and I knew my in-laws were coming to meet us for lunch.
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We plugged in when we got there, about 10 minutes later my in-laws arrived and got us a table. I sent my husband in with them while I waited for the adopter. I felt for this lady, she’d totaled her car the night before when she hit a deer. She was in a rental car, and I could tell she was stressed with the mess. Kitties are good for stress. She lit up when she saw her new baby, and my heart melted a little. I locked the car and headed inside to join my family and enjoy a wonderful meal together. I don’t know how long we stayed, at least an hour, but the car crept up to around 53% state of charge while we enjoyed our fellowship. I triggered the AC on the car as we were walking outside, because we are southern and it takes 15 minutes of goodbyes before we actually get in the car to go. After the goodbye routine completed, I unplugged the car and we set off to Blacksburg - a mere 24 miles away.
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On the way to Roanoke, my husband asked me if I verified that the charger in Blacksburg was working. I said someone used it on the 5th and that it reports online in the Greenlots app. He says that a friend of his who lives up that way said he thought it was out of order, and I said we will figure it out. They have ample Level 2 as a backup, but we didn’t need them. When we rolled up, the fans on the unit were running - someone had just used it. I checked Plugshare and sure enough, someone with a Leaf had used it (and was still checked in - it said they’d check out in 42 minutes). I checked in, and the car said 29 minutes to full. Oh, this station was also free. We have traveled over 200 miles and paid $0 so far. We walked across the street to the Mellow Mushroom for water and beer, to which my husband was only able to drink 2 before the car was done charging. We settled the tab, and loaded up for the longest leg yet - 2 hours and 45 minutes all downhill for 116mi to Greensboro.
I don’t have any photos to show, but Route 8 is like the Tail of the Dragon with guard rails and a 55mph speed limit. It was insane. The Hyundai handled it well, better than I did honestly… and I was driving! I was nervous at first. We had 11 miles of buffer in the reported range to the distance I knew we had to travel. By the time we got to Greensboro, that buffer had swelled to 25 miles. Downhill rocks!
We arrived in Greensboro and plugged into the DC fast charger in the downtown. Our first pay charge, $12/hr. We were going to be there at least 30 minutes, so we popped over to Scuppernong Books for a beverage and some light reading. I love this bookstore, not only for its decent wine/beer/coffee/fizzy water selection, but also their selection of books and comfortable seating. John got lost in the stacks, and I drank some chocolate milk to power me for the drive home. We only had 81 miles to go… After charging for 40 minutes we paid $8.05 for 22.21kWh of power and headed home. We hit I-40 and set the cruise to 70mph. It was smooth sailing all the way to our driveway.
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All said and done, 400 miles in 8 hours and 44 minutes, averaging 5.0 miles per kWh of power.
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Well done, Hyundai. This car continues to impress me with its efficiency and reliability.
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mchughlvbsnider · 2 years
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Faith for Finances: Sensible Money Advice
Our primary scriptures are three or more John 2 and Joshua 1: 6: Beloved, I wish first and foremost things that will thou mayest succeed and be in health, even since thy soul prospereth. This guide of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate in it day and night, that thou mayest observe to perform based to all that is written in it: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and even then thou shalt have good good results. Today, we're discussing about practical money advice. I avoid count myself to be a financial guru; nevertheless , I do depend myself to always be a person who is allergic to being broke. I include been since I was a little girl. While i was a little young lady, I did previously put our profit my footwear once i went to school. Some day, in some manner, my money came out of the shoe. I suppose the shoe had been too loose. My feelings were therefore hurt that day time; I couldn't feel I had misplaced my money. So , I started putting my money inside my sock. Our whole family explain to jokes about this kind of today. Anyway, it struck me that in case I stick the money in my personal sock, then even if the footwear is loose, the money won't emerge because it's within the sock. Brilliant! I can then feel my personal money under my personal toes, wiggle it around under there and I knew I had fashioned my cash. I had developed my lunch break money and I actually had my additional money to go and have me a new honeybun with following school. Therefore , We have always been that way. Again, I state I'm allergic in order to being broke because I associate protection to some great level with knowing of which when I visit turn the mild on, it's proceeding to come about and knowing that will when I prepare yourself to take a new bath, there's proceeding to be waters. I really believe I handed down this. All regarding my Samuels' aunts are like this particular. Once I met a Samuels' aunty and her spouse. Her husband started to jokingly describe your ex money habits to a then boyfriend and even commenced to moving on all associated with my toes. Awkward... Nevertheless , that's our personality. Whatever the personality type, yield it to the particular Lord. I've always been a saver. So, it comes naturally to me to save money. Nevertheless , there will be also people who else are naturally spenders and that's excellent, too. The trouble is when either category is still left unchecked. If an individual spend all the particular time and may schedule any funds to make positive your needs are met, next you're in difficulties. If you save every thing , nor keep something flowing, then you get into trouble that way, too. We need to yield our own personality type in order to the Lord and even allow Him to be able to boss us. In the event that something comes finished and the saver doesn't desire to give, we have to say, "Okay, if Our god is telling me do this, I actually need to get it done. " Then, of course , the person who spends excessive, requirements to check throughout with God upon how to spend his money. No longer beat yourself upward over the type of person that you are. Just allow God boss an individual. Jesus is Lord. Allow him to be Head of the family. He's not only your saviour who gets you into Heaven whenever you pass away. He is in addition your Lord within this side. Allow Your pet to be Head of the family of all. Permit him to boss your funds and you will be throughout good shape. Allow me to share my money suggestions: 1. Live As part of your Means a. Track your spending and even cut costs 1st, live within your own means. That might audio very elementary and even it is. Even so, many people don't perform it. It's really that simple. You need to live inside your means. Henry 14: 28 claims, For which associated with you, intending in order to build a structure, sitteth not along first, and counteth the cost, no matter if he have satisfactory to complete it? Jesus is telling us all, we need to count typically the cost. You might say, good, I don't need to build some sort of tower. I avoid have these high aspirations. Nevertheless , any time you look at that scripture inside the Amplified Holy bible, it says, For which of you, wishing to build a farm building, does not first sit down in addition to calculate the cost [to see] whether they have enough means to finish it? So, you might not want to create Donald Trump's tower system. You may want to do anything far simpler. Continue to, you need to be able to count the price. You need to be able to see what it's going to consider to obtain it performed and you also need to be able to live in your implies. A lot associated with us don't even know what each of our means are. All of us just go to work and obtain compensated, then blow the money. We possess some bills paid as well as the bills that do not get paid, just do not get paid. After that we dodge individuals "unknown" and "800" numbers that appear in from expenses collectors. We just keep in this specific crazy cycle that doesn't get us ahead in life, nevertheless gets us further more down. So, first of all you have to know what you make (your means). You have to be able to pay attention to what kind of income you might have coming in and even then you need to keep track of what you're wasting. Get a tiny memo pad or perhaps occurs phone in addition to take note of what you're spending every time for a 7 days or two. In case you stop regarding coffee the next day, write down how much it cost. Write down everything you put in on lunch. If you had to stop and even get gas, publish down what it cost. Write this all down and so that you can certainly get an concept of where your money will go. Then when you see in which your money is usually going, you may analyze how to help make adjustments. You could see where you can save money. An individual might realize, We don't need to be able to go out in order to lunch every time. If I'm wasting $10 a working day on lunch, that is $50 every week, $200 a month and $2, 400 each year! (Actually, $10 is definitely on the old-fashioned side. Lunch fees have increased. ) For some, it's the doable expense, yet for most, is actually money that could be better invested elsewhere. So , trail your spending and even then you will see where you can cut costs or reallocate your money. Throughout the spirit involving tracking spending, be sure to maintain your ATM and debit card receipts and balance these in your checkbook. Also, reconcile your own bank statements with your checkbook. You may have missed an entry or maybe the financial institution may have produced a mistake. Furthermore, occurs own bank's ATM. You is just not want to operate all over area and obtain money below and there whether it's not your bank. You'll incur extra fees from all of them. It looks like it's a small amount associated with money, a pair of dollars every now and then, but it provides up after some time. Exactly why just throw cash away? You may use that will extra money, especially when you're in the tight situation, in order to help enable you to get out of the tight situation. So, make use of your own bank's ATM as often because possible. Don't work with the other ones unless it's an unexpected emergency. To cut charges, use coupons. Don't feel too "sheeshy poopoo" to work with a coupon. Slice those coupons out and use them plus let them enable you to move forward. Several people have made a real art from this and after almost all of their coupon codes are tallied, they leave the store without paying any cash! So use coupon codes and let these people help you endure and thrive. An individual can find coupon codes in the Sunday paper, the weekly circulars and on the internet. I have to also state credit card reform. Luckily, under this usa president administration, they've completed some reform using charge cards. In your current statement, they now include to tell an individual how your payment can look if a person just make the minimum payment. They need to show you how long it may need to be able to pay off your balance when simply making minimum repayments. Be sure to read your statements and try to never pay out just the minimum balance. Only do and so when you're in a tight situation. Lowest payments go toward the accruing interest. You always want to attack the particular principal in several way. Whether or not they're asking for $12 and you may only give $1 more, then give them $11. It's not much, but it can moving you in the right direction. You want to always take a step in order to hit on typically the principal and spend it down. Normally, you'll be spending money on that thing forever. Ultimately, you'll would like to discipline your self to where a person use credit playing cards like bank cards, which means that you spend them off on a monthly basis. Then you'll simply be using them intended for convenience. That's a thing that you include to work towards. It doesn't happen overnight, but you can get there. w. Shop your kitchen Shopping your kitchen helps you are living inside your means and increase. You don't want to be used up to the grocery store store all the time. Initial, if you no longer discover how to cook, find out how to make some basic stuff. Maybe everything will be scrambled eggs and minute rice at first, nevertheless later you may improve on that. A person don't need to be reliant on fast food places for the daily sustenance. Food are a good deal less costly and a great deal much healthier. I know many people don't know precisely how to cook, yet it can always be learned. Spend a few time with your grandmother. She'll end up being happy to show you. Also, ask fine cooks a bunch of questions. Until it's a treasured secret recipe, they shall be happy to offer you tips. So, because I was declaring, shop your pantry. That means, no longer always run out there to purchase something any time you have food at home. With regard to example, parenthetically you have some organic spaghetti and an individual have some floor meat, however you avoid have any other sauce. Then you are going to go to typically the store and obtain the spaghetti spices, because that makes feeling. However, you will not get out and purchase leg quarters and corn-on-the-cob if you have uncooked spaghetti and terrain meat. Is made the spaghetti. So , shop your pantry. After that when that runs low, you move to the grocery store store and acquire more groceries. d. Shop your wardrobe Similarly, shop your closet. First, clean up it out and get rid of stuff that you know you're not gonna have on. Either have a house sale or present it away. And then, place the money an individual earned to very good use, like paying out down debt. If you donate the items, make sure to write it off of when you data file your tax returning. Then after you might have cleaned your closet, know what you possess. Look to see exactly what new outfits an individual can create through what's already in your closet. You may possibly be capable of generate entire new outfits by mixing and even matching. Then when you do shop, buy accessories like new shoes, belts and jewelry, that will enhance what you have already. Like the spaghetti, you cannot want in order to go out and buy a whole fresh outfit that maybe you can't yet afford. A whole lot worse, an individual don't want to be able to buy some object just because it's on sale, want a set of exotic shoes and boots, and then have absolutely nothing within your closet to be able to wear using them. Store your closet first. All of these stuff that help people to live within our own means necessitate believing in advance. We can't just fly off the cuff and do things. We experience to stop in addition to think about this. Although, these points require thinking, we needn't get disappointed. God gives us wisdom - liberally. Take an instant, take a moment with The almighty and permit Him to be able to show you how to be able to plan your daily life to be able to get ahead. installment payments on your Always Think Profit We always want to have more money arriving in than will be going out. Really common sense, but we don't do it. We should always think profit. Isaiah 48: 17 states, Thus saith the Lord, thy Redeemer, the Holy One among Israel; I was our creator thy Lord which teacheth thee to profit, which in turn leadeth thee by simply the way of which thou shouldest proceed. So, it's The almighty who teaches all of us to profit. Earnings is not some sort of bad word. All of us want to always think of maximizing what we have. Many of us want to constantly ask ourselves, "How can one get the most out regarding this? How can I obtain the most out of this money? How can My partner and i get more beat for my buck? " One approach is always to learn exactly how to bargain shop. What you'll need to do is definitely get a very good eye for top quality. Study magazines that teach you the nicest clothes and typically the nicest way to decorate your house, etc . Then you'll find a good attention for what top quality appears like. Then a person can shop areas that will aid you get great things at the bargain. When a person get a great buy, don't forget to be able to save that which you help save. Have fun with the additional money at times, but as a guideline, save it. You are going to want to set that money throughout the bank, a simple savings bank account is fine. Then right after you get that developed, you may go further and obtain into fancier investments. There was a girl in Mississippi named was Oseola McCarty. She was the washer woman, which usually means that the lady washed and ironed shirts for typically the business people associated with her town. You don't make much funds doing that, yet this woman presented $150, 000 towards the University of Lower Mississippi to employ for scholarships. Almost all she did has been wash clothes, however she was ready to save. The lady started saving using just a simple savings account. As her money started raising, people at the bank took see of it plus began to aid her make other investments with typically the money. So , you can start with merely a simple cost savings account at the traditional bank. Some of the new accounts provide a motivation for beginning, like extra dollars at the ending of the year when you save each month. Even with a new simple savings account, look for one with a return on investment. Always think earnings. We're submitting themselves to God plus allowing His knowledge to permeate our own lives and display us what all of us need to do in a given time period. I mentioned maximizing everything. We're capitalizing on our time, maximizing the foodstuff that all of us have, maximizing the clothes that we have inside our closet. Always think revenue. This also also comes in to play together with jobs. I realize with this current recession, if you got laid off of, you may feel as if you have in order to take the first thing that's offered. This often is not going in order to be this kind of fantastic job. However, despite you take the particular job, don't consider, "This could it be. very well Still look for another job. Occurs lunch time hour and night time to look right up until you about the job. Your income is usually what's going to help you gain. Profit is getting some money left above. It's not dwelling paycheck to paycheck. It's not residing in a predicament where you have even more "month than money" at the end of the 30 days. Not necessarily working every day and simply being the working inadequate, not being ready to pay all your bills and paying all of these people on time. Were to turn some sort of profit. Were in order to have money left over. Always think earnings. Look for a new job where you have salary that well features your expenses. You always want to be able to have more cash than you have expenses. Submit that to be able to God. Allow Him to explain to you how to do of which. Ask, "God, how can I boost my income? How can I cut these charges to survive plus then thrive? " That is typically the goal in lifestyle. Whenever you're looking from an investment associated with any kind, you'll want to ask whether this is usually planning to cost myself more than Now i'm getting in returning. If you do, the response is no. Earnings has to constantly exceed expenses. So again, if you have to acquire a job you don't like or even that's not having to pay enough, keep searching. Work that task, do good regarding the employer that had mercy for you and hired you. Be good to them, when they will can't raise your current salary to some thing decent, keep buying a better position. If you're in business for yourself, imagine techniques to lower your own overhead. Always think, "I have to be able to keep my overhead low. " Count the costs of what it takes to conduct your business and figure your profit into it. When you're setting your own prices or costs, figure profit straight into it. However, don't be some crook and try to rob people. Send it to Lord. Ask Him, "How can I determine profit into this, where I have more income as compared to expenses, yet I'm fair to my personal clients or consumers? " Keep submitting stuff to God. He'll show an individual what to perform at the given time. 3. get more info assess you to other folks 2 Corinthians 10: 12, 17-18 states, For we care to not make ourself of the amount, or compare ourself with some that will commend themselves: nevertheless they measuring on their own by themselves, and even comparing themselves among themselves, are not really wise... But this individual that glorieth, allow him glory within the Lord. Because of not he that commendeth himself is approved, but whom the particular Lord commendeth. Therefore, it says you're not wise if you are running around contrasting you to ultimately other guys. One of the reasons you don't desire to compare you to ultimately other people is because many of them are resting to you anyway. People that have it together are generally too busy together with their lives to be able to even come to be able to you and try to create you feel less than ideal about yourself. This takes a great deal of work and time for you to be successful. So, option tip off right there. If somebody's bragging and trying in order to make you feel bad about yourself, this is a sign that they are deprived of themselves jointly. In case you trace what they said, you are going to find that that they lied. If a person just wact a film extended enough, you'll discover that they are lying. They'll brag about this particular and that, nevertheless, you watch them plus you'll see that they're so broke they will can't pay consideration. Don't fall directly into that trap. Just pay attention to God. Good folks don't run close to putting other men and women down. Rock out there where you are anytime right today. Be at ease with in which you are best now. Keep pondering profit and you will continue to get forward and you will always be blessed. In case you often think, "I only need more revenue than my expenses, " and in case you cut your expenses and boost your income the best way as you might, you'll be fine. As for being content, there's the scripture for your: Hebrews 13: 5 says, Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content material with things like en have: for he or she hath said, We will never keep thee, nor forsake thee. In the particular Amplified Bible, Hebrews 13: 5 says, Allow your character or moral disposition be free from really like of money, which includes greed, avarice, lust, and craving regarding earthly possessionism, and even be pleased with your present circumstances and with what you possess; for He [God] Themselves says, I can not by any means fall short you nor provide you up or leave you with no support. [I will] not necessarily, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you hopeless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hang on you)! [Assuredly not! ] Now, that is good news! Therefore work what a person got going and keep increasing and you'll be okay. Don't sit and even compare yourself in order to a person that you believe has more you. The Bible says to compare will be foolish and that the people who else do so are not clever. We are wise; all of us stroll inside the Wisdom of God. four. Study Rich in addition to Affluent People Now, this is not a conundrum. You will find a difference involving studying rich and even affluent people and comparing oneself to them. The is typically the intent. If you're seeking at them from a place of covet, then you certainly fall straight into the comparison/foolishness camp out. However, if you look at these people to learn exactly how to better on your own, with no plaisanterie involved, then you aren't in good stead.
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Hebrews 13: seven says, Remember all of them which have the rule over an individual, with spoken on to you the word of God: whose belief follow, considering typically the end of their dialogue. This scripture echoes to having the ability to look at natural examples to get tips on how to make it in this planet. Rich and wealthy people can provide as natural good examples for you throughout your search for raise financially. Should you watch and listen to the rich and affluent, they'll give indications. They'll inevitably notify you things that they're doing or even not doing inside order to become successful. For instance , The oprah show doesn't necessarily teach finances, but likely to hear her point out things like, "Always sign your individual checks. " And so, listen to exactly how she and various other people have achieved success. Success leaves signs. Also, read the biographies of rich and affluent men and women. If you don't like reading, a person can listen to music books. Incidentally, it's not necessary to go broke obtaining these books. You can check them out coming from your local library for free of charge! Make studying others' examples a habit and you will certainly continue to learn, grow and increase financially. In addition , I carry out recommend that an individual read and study the materials of financial experts. For instance, study people similar to Suze Orman and even Robert Kiyosaki and other people of that stature. When, as a Sterling, you're nervous about studying secular elements, here is what I carry out whenever I research a non-Christian guide (and sometimes the particular Christian ones, too). I pray and ask the Oh mayne Spirit to assist me receive exactly what He'd have myself to receive and deny anything He'd have me to reject. I yield me personally unto Him in order to guide me and to show me tips on how to "eat the particular meat and spit out your bones. very well Yield to typically the Spirit and you should end up being okay. Before I actually go - in addition to I know this particular a lengthy article - let myself give just two more tips: First of all, clean out your current wallet. Get rid of gum packages, lint as well as other waste. Then place almost all of your cash in order: kinds, fives, tens, twenties, hundreds all gathered together, right-side way up, with presidents dealing with forward. No person desires to live within disarray, including your own money. Finally, no longer use your money to give out there exact change. Alternatively, save them inside a coin jar and at the particular end with the month, use them to pay a bill, add to your cost savings or spend on pleasure. We certainly need to come away of being broke and being beneath as Christians. We are going to the ones that are supposed in order to lead out in addition to show the rest of the world exactly how to live. Why don't get to this!
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jakestravels · 2 years
Text
Europe 2022 - Day 11 - Strassbourg (Almost)
More sleeping in. But today we were heading to Strassbourg, a city in France just on the Rhine river and bordered with Germany.
Philipp and I hopped into the car, and headed out of town, stopping by first at Philipp’s parent’s work to swap cars.
On the way, Philipp said he had decided to call an audible - we were stopping at a family member’s home. No prob by me - I was just along for the ride.
Not far before Offenburg, we took a detour to the small village of Bodersweier. Philipp was driving along, pointing down a specific street. “These homes were all owned by my family members, who lived in them years ago, as a clan,” he explained. “But over the years, one by one, they left. Now only a few remain.” 
We pulled in to the home of Philipp’s father’s cousin, Gabi, and her husband Kurt. Kurt is an Austrian who married into the family, but said they felt more like his own family. Immediately as we stepped in the door, we were offered something to drink.
“Would you like a coffee? Beer?” Kurt offered. I drank down a tasty espresso. Philipp, Kurt and I chatted for a bit before saying adieu, where we promptly walked next door to visit Philipp’s passed grandfather’s brother (still staying with me here?), Rolf and his wife Lisl. They own a flower shop and nursery, and there was Philipp’s surname plastered everywhere. We knocked and came inside the house, where they were finishing up lunch. It occurred to me that we were surprise visitors, but we were greeted warmly. We were offered espresso, and then shortly after one of the Black Forest’s signature schnapps, kirschwasser. Rolf disappeared into a closet and came back with a dusty bottle, its paper label stained in mold. Philipp translated as Rolf explained.
“This bottle is 30-40 years old,” Rolf said. “I kept these down in the cellar, but there’s is just a little too much moisture. Even though I built it the way I wanted. But, when we stored things at Lisl’s old Black Forest farmhouse, and even though it is 200 years old, it is perfect.”
He pulled out some small glasses, and we all had a drink.
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And then another. And another. Then he took us down to the real stash.
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“Some of these bottles are quite old,” Rolf said. “I should have enough to drink until I die!” He then pulled out an unlabeled bottle and proceeded to tell me a story.
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“Some 40 years ago, I had a friend with a farmhouse, but he was distilling too much schnapps for his license. His neighbor was required to tell the police what he saw (they are quite the rule followers - Jake), but gave my friend a heads up. He had 100 extra bottles, and he buried them. When the police came, they found nothing, and my friend did not get in trouble. But a few years ago, when he was getting ill and going through his things, he remembered he had buried them, and dug them up. And gave some to me. And this is that.”
I believe that in the five different schnapps I tried, there was at least 180 years of aging between them.
After, we took a tour of Rolf & Family’s nursery.
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We realized it was getting late, and still had Strassbourg to visit. We said our goodbyes, but not before Rolf was kind enough to dust off some old prime bottles of premium schnapps, one for me and one for Philipp. (Edit: I later learned that these bottles are impossible to find, they are not made anymore, and this bottle is worth a few hundred Euros. It was a great honor to receive this bottle from such a warm and kind family.)
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We were heading out to the car when Kurt popped his head out from next door.
“Are you hungry? Would you like lunch?” Kurt asked. “I’ve got steak!”
Philip and I agreed that we would not have enough time to do a lunch and Strassbourg, so we said goodbye and drove off. As we headed down the road, I noticed the clock was reading somewhere around the 2-3 PM mark.
“Are we going to have enough time?” I asked Philipp.
“It is getting a bit late,” he said.
“And I am kind of hungry, having not eaten yet today,” I claimed.
“Yeah, me too,” Philipp responded.
“And steak does sound good,” I said.
“And he’s a great cook.”
“So... maybe, uhh, we should go back?”
“Yeah. We can always do Strassbourg tomorrow,” Philipp said.
We flipped a U-turn and headed back. And was I glad we did. 
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Turns out Kurt trained as a chef, and has cooked in all sorts of places from top hotels to other countries and cruise ships and even a stint in Louisiana. He fed us Irish Angus steaks, crispy frind potatoes, and hand of God when I say this, hands-down the best damn kidney beans I have ever had in my life. i usually eschew beans - I find them to often be plain and bland. Not these bad boys. After, there was was a cheese plate and even more schnapps as Kurt regaled us with many stories, my favorite being how he cut off the index finger of a server that kept stealing small amounts of food off plates before he’d serve them. But I’m not going to tell you that story: you can let Kurt do it. He’d tell it better anyway.
As we made ready to leave, Philipp mentioned we’d be coming back for Strassbourg the next day. “Well then, guess I’ll see you here for breakfast!” Kurt replied. “Let’s say 9 AM?”
Kurt had just served us a spectacular meal and I felt like we were taking advantage of him. “You don’t have to do that!” I said. That’s when Philipp opened his stupid mouth.
“Kurt, Jake is a cook too!” he said. “We’re having chicken wings, an American dish tomorrow!” Philipp exclaimed. “You should come!”
Now while I have worked in the restaurant industry for good portions of my life, it has always been front of house. And yes, I love to cook, but after eating the steak Kurt made, and given my issues with the European kitchen (see last post) I was hesitant about it. “Uhh, I wouldn’t go so far as to say all that, Philipp...” I said.
“Perfect!” Kurt exclaimed. “I’ll make you breakfast tomorrow, and you make me dinner!”
Well there you go. 
We went up to a butcher in Offenburg to get chicken wings - they don’t sell them in the regular stores here because no one really eats them, but fun fact: because of that, they’re like a quarter of the price. I got 24 full wings (which is like 48 wings you’d get at a bar - also with no tip - you know the part on the end that’s inedible?) for like €8 and change. I had to grab some things to make sauce and marinade and other items too.
We headed back to the apartment, where Philipp went off to soccer practice and I tried to get a little more experience by making banh mis for Philipp’s parents. I think they liked it, but guess we’ll see how tomorrow goes!
After chow, Roland took me down to the basement to play a pool game I had never heard of, known as carom billiards. Imagine a pool table, but with no pockets. Then only three balls. The goal: You hit one ball, and must hit the other two in one shot. Sounds easy, but I promise, it is not. But it was a bit addictive.
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perlukafarinn · 3 years
Text
(ao3)
The day starts out pretty unremarkable. Dean wakes up at the crack of dawn to Cas slipping out of bed for his morning jog. He pulls him down for a good-morning kiss that turns into a make-out session that turns into them trading lazy handjobs and then falling asleep in each other’s arms again. 
Their actual start to the day is around ten AM, when Cas finally gets up for his jog and Dean gets up for his cereal and a scroll through the morning news. He’s on the look for hunts, mostly out of habit since there’s been very little monster activity since Chuck went and fucked off for good. He doesn’t find anything this morning but that’s hardly a surprise. It’s been a couple of weeks since they’ve been out on a hunt and that inactivity, weirdly enough, is starting to bother him less and less. 
Cas comes back from his jog about an hour before noon and with the mildest of prodding convinces Dean to join him in the shower. Afterwards, they throw together a lunch made from yesterday’s leftovers, taking their time eating and playing footsie under the table, because that’s apparently the kind of couple they are.
Usually by this time of day, Cas would be off in the Men of Letters’ library working on translations or cataloging and Dean would be on the phone helping Garth help out young, out-of-their depth hunters or in the garage, working on one of the beautiful but sadly neglected vehicles left behind there decades ago. 
Today, both of them are seemingly feeling kind of lazy and so hardly any work gets done. It’s not until late in the afternoon that Dean feels the urge to do something productive and suggests they go out for groceries, which Cas readily agrees to. 
The ride into town is quiet. Cas plays his mixtape - the damn thing should be worn out by now and Dean should  long since be sick of it but for reasons too sappy to mention he isn’t - and they sit and listen in comfortable silence. It’s not until they pass the town hall on their way to the supermarket that Cas gets a contemplative look on his face.
“Should we get married?”
Only years of experience behind the wheel prevent Dean’s hands from twitching wildly and veering them into oncoming traffic.
“What.”
Cas looks over, frowning. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Is there any reason for us not to get married? We’re already planning on staying together for the rest of our lives.”
“Is there any reason-” Dean wheezes. “What the fuck, Cas? Is this your idea of a proposal?”
“Are you saying no?” Cas asks, mildly curious, as if they’re talking about the fucking weather and not getting married. “Because we don’t have to.”
Dean stares ahead, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. “Are you actually asking?”
“I suppose I am.”
“You ‘suppose’,” Dean mocks. “Gee, Cas, that’s real romantic.”
“Will you marry me?”
Dean pulls over. It’s far too sudden, probably leaving tire tracks in the concrete, and the driver behind them honks his horn loudly as he passes. Dean ignores him, taking a deep breath as he finally turns to face Cas. 
“Are you sure?”
He doesn’t really have to ask - Cas wouldn’t have brought it up if he wasn’t sure - but he needs to hear it. 
Thankfully, Cas seems to get that. “I want to marry you, Dean. Do you want to marry me?”
“Son of a bitch,” Dean breathes. “I mean - yes. Yeah, I do.”
Cas nods decisively. “Alright then. Now?”
“Now?”
It’s not exactly how Dean imagined this scenario would go (not that he - shut up) but it’s somehow the most romantic fucking thing that’s ever happened to him since Cas first told him he loved him. And hey, this time no one had to die!
They turn around, since there’s no point in going in without (forged) birth certificates. Once they get to the town hall, shortly before closing, they find out that it’s a three-day mandatory waiting period between applying for a marriage license and them actually being allowed to get married.
Cas suggests they use the interim time to pick up wedding rings. They wind up spending the next day driving to Topeka, where they find a couple of silver rings in a pawn shop. They’re tarnished but otherwise in good condition and once they get home, Dean spends the rest of the evening cleaning them while trying very hard not to think about just what they’re for.
The second day, Cas spends out back tending to his garden while Dean almost dials Sam’s number repeatedly before hanging up, torn between wanting to let his brother know that he’s getting married and not wanting to jinx it.
The third day, they head back into town. They arrive at the town hall just after it opens and it’s not until they’re standing in front of the clerk that Dean realizes they don’t have any witnesses. The clerk assures him that they don’t need one for civil ceremonies and the next ten minutes pass in a blur until Dean is being prompted to place the ring on Cas’ finger.
He does so with shaking hands, stilled only once Cas places one of his own on top and gives Dean a patient smile. He’s this calm for a reason, Dean finally realizes.
This doesn’t change anything.
Married or not, they’ve already promised themselves to each other for the rest of their lives. Til death do them part doesn’t even begin to describe it, and in sickness and in health is almost laughable at this point.
This really doesn’t change anything.
Dean’s own hand is still as Cas takes his turn, sliding the silver ring upon Dean’s finger. They say their “I do”s when prompted by the clerk, exchange a short, firm kiss, and just like that it’s over.
They’re married. 
*
When Jody invites them to dinner about a week later, they still haven’t told anyone. Sam and Eileen will be there as well as Jack and the girls - it’s a regular family reunion and the perfect chance to announce the big news to everyone.
Dean has a better idea.
“Let’s not tell anyone,” he says. “At least, not before dessert. Let’s see if they notice first.”
They’re in the Impala, about half an hour away from Jody’s place. 
Cas shoots him an amused look. “Is this because Sam claimed he always knew we’d get together when we first told him we were involved?”
“No,” Dean lies. He drums his fingers on the steering wheel, seeing Cas still giving him that look from the corner of his eye. “Fine, yes. But he didn’t know, for the record. He just likes to pretend he’s always on top of this shit.”
“He doesn’t like to admit when you’ve surprised him,” Cas agrees.
The conversation ends there but Dean’s plan is apparently agreed upon since once they arrive at Jody’s, Cas doesn’t say a word about their recent relationship upgrade. Jody doesn’t seem to notice anything different, but then Dean didn’t expect her to. She’s not the one they spend most of their time around. Neither do Donna, Alex, Claire or Kaia, none of them surprises. Patience, Dean is less sure about, but she at least doesn’t say anything. Her eyes do linger unusually long but that could mean anything.
Damn psychics.
Sam and Eileen arrive half an hour after Dean and Cas, Jack in tow. This is the real test; Sam and Dean may not spend as much time together in the past few months as they did in the years before but he’s still the person who knows Dean best and would be the most likely to notice a difference.
And yet, nothing.
Dean tries not to feel too smug.
They go through dinner without anyone mentioning it. Dean makes a point of reaching across the table as many times as he can, showing off the ring glinting on his finger. Cas must notice him doing it, judging by the fond exasperation on his face, but he’s the only one.
It isn’t until dessert that Patience breaks, patience (hah) clearly run out:
“Is no one going to mention that Dean and Castiel are wearing wedding rings?”
And all hell breaks loose.
Sam is wounded - mostly over Dean and Cas not telling him before they got married, though Dean can tell some part of it is his pride at not seeing this coming - but he’s over it soon enough, once they explain that it wasn’t a big deal, not some proper ceremony, just a quick affirmation of what they already knew.
“See if I make you Best Man at my wedding after this, jerk,” Sam tells Dean.
“Your wedding?” Eileen asks pointedly. 
Jody and Donna offer their congratulations before the conversation can get awkward, and Kaia, Alex, and Patience chime in with theirs as well. Jack looks confused at the whole proceeding, finally asking whether this means there won’t be any bouquet to catch, which only means Dean has gravely failed him in his pop culture education (oh, who’s he kidding, as if half the romcoms Jack has watched didn’t come directly from the recommended tab on Dean’s Netflix account). 
Finally, with a pointed elbow from Kaia and a hangdog expression from Cas, Claire mumbles that she’s happy for them. While Dean doesn’t doubt that’s true he also knows that this is more complicated for her than the rest of them, and for the first time he kind of feels guilty about springing this news on everyone. 
It doesn’t last long, not after Donna cheerfully raises her glass and proposes a toast to the happy couple and everyone else follows suit. They chant for them to kiss and, blushing outrageously, Dean complies, leaning over to press a quick kiss against Cas’ lips. 
“So, who proposed?” Sam asks once the hooting and hollering has calmed.
“Cas did,” Dean says, slinging an arm around his husband’s - his husband’s - shoulders. “And it was the least romantic proposal of all time, you should’ve heard him.”
Cas rolls his eyes. “If I had left it up to you, we never would have gotten married.”
“He didn’t even give me time to pick out flowers,” Dean informs Sam gravely. 
“There’s always the vow renewal,” Cas says, the casual statement managing to sound like a threat, and Dean shuts up. 
The conversation moves on, the mood noticeably cheerier. As Jack and Sam launch into a story of their most recent hunt, Dean leans against Cas.
“We could have flowers, if you want,” he mutters. 
Cas smiles at him, so bright and easy that it makes Dean’s heart stutter. He takes Dean’s hand, rubbing his thumb over the cool silver of Dean’s ring.
“That’s not necessary,” he says. “I’ve got everything I want right here.”
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matryosika · 3 years
Text
shoot me, chapter II
pairing — changbin x reader
rating — 18+
genre of the overall series — smut, angst, fluff if you squint
prologue chapter I chapter II
word count for this chapter — 5.5 k
warnings — softdom!changbin, kind of bratty reader, mild exhibition (something happens at a dressing room but it's not too much), dry humping - lap riding?, oral (m), praise kink, use of petnames, slight edging, masturbation and cum eating
note — i wrote this today because maybe this week i'll be busy with college and i was feeling a bit inspired. i'm so happy with the messages i recieved and, if you like my work, i highly encourage you to send an ask or a message! thank you so much for reading me and i hope you enjoy this chapter. it's a litte bit more smut and angsty tension than actual plot, but i was feeling this today. also, i didn't plan on having a taglist but i guess i'll do! if you are interested in me adding you, please let me know! <3
tag list — @cozyblues @ahgasearmyfan
the awkward small meeting soon became lunch. arthur convinced you and changbin to join them at a very nice restaurant that was located a few blocks away from the company and, although you refused for the sake of comfort, your father didn't accepted a "no" for an answer.
"he is like a step-son to me" arthur said, looking at changbin as if he had some sort of admiration towards him. "i've seen him become the man he is now and i'm sure no one can run the company like him"
both haeun and jang-yeop seemed flattered, but changbin didn't even smile at the compliment arthur just said. by the lack of response, his mother rushed to say something in order to move on to other topic. it was pretty obvious that changbin was acting kind of rude towards everyone today, but you guessed he was just feeling uncomfortable because of what happened yesterday.
"so, y/n" haeun interrupted "your father had planned a dinner for you yesterday but it seemed like he had to canceled it because you had plans… how was your first day back in korea?"
"oh" you muttered, trying to chew the food that was still in your mouth so you could answer her question "it was… definetly something"
as soon as you answered her question, changbin gave you a side look from his place at the dinner table. "i went out with an old friend from middle school to itaewon"
"itaewon.." jang-yeop added "there are some dangerous places there, y/n. you should be more careful going out at night, korea might be a safe place but you can find anything out there".
"yeah i-" and for a moment, a perversed idea striked your head "i actually had a very unpleaseant situation yesterday at the bar i attended to"
immediatly after you finished your sentence, changbin glanced right at you.
"what happened?" jang-yeop questioned filled with concern.
"there were some awfully rude people there" you replied, limitating the answer. you wanted changbin to have an uncomfortable time there just because he crushed your pride the night before "i'll just leave it at that"
"changbin" her mother intervened "weren't you at itaewon yesterday too?"
the poor man almost choked on his food, coughing softly to avoid attracting any attention or being too loud "i was"
this was the first time you heard his voice that day and you would be absolutely lying if you said it didn't make you feel something. the memories of him praising you last night while he was eating you out just flooded your mind, making you stare directly at him for a really long time.
he was looking at you too, but his gaze transmitted something completely different than lust or desire. he was angry, maybe at himself or at you for teasing him in front of his parents, but he looked scared too, uncomfortable.
"see, this is exactly why i planned that dinner yesterday" arthur stated "i wanted to introduce changbin to y/n so he could guard her during her stay in korea. you know jang-yeop, how men are behaving nowadays…"
"tell me about it, arthur" the old man replied.
"i trust changbin as if he is my own blood" your father continued "if i asked him to take care of my youngest daughter y/n, i'm sure he would"
"maybe he can give her a tour around the principal streets of seoul" his mother suggested with the biggest smile.
"i'd love to" you were quick to say, earning a death-stare from the man in question. "i wanted to go to this mall i saw on my way from the airport but hyejin was in a rush and we couldn't stop by"
with a satisfied look, jang-yeop laid his body down on the chair he was sitting and sighed. "well, changbin, seems like you have plans for today"
"i'm not a taxi-driver" he spitted, earning a despicable look from both of his parents.
"no, changbin" arthur was rushed to intervene "i would really appreciate if you took care of her whenever she goes out alone. you know how men are, just think of her as a younger sister"
for a moment you felt the need to throw up at his fake words, but you were enjoying the scene.
a younger sister, that's funny.
"where's that store again?" changbin asked annoyed.
this can go really good or really bad for you, changbin. it's up to you.
*
"so you are not going to even apologize?" you asked in the middle of the uncomfortable silence that was now filling changbin's sports car.
"for what, giving you the best orgasm of your life?" he mumbled with a cold tone in his voice. you could see he wasn't really in the mood for talking, but you at least expected an apology for humiliating you yesterday.
"funny how you thought of me as a gold digger when my father is practically your boss and you do exactly as he says" you chuckled.
now let's clarify something. you never really felt proud of being arthur's daughter because he wasn't even a father to you. yes, you shared his blood and last name but at the end of the day that didn't meant anything for you. nevertheless, changbin didn't knew this so you could play that "ceo's bratty daughter" card everytime you wanted, even if that obligated you to actually act like you and arthur held a loving fraternal relationship.
"if i knew you were his daughter, none of that would've happened" he replied without parting his eyes from the street, again, with the coldest voice you had ever hear in your life.
"what part, the humiliation or the orgasm?"
he gave you a threatening look and proceeded to keep is eyes on the road. you were quite unsure how to lead this situation since everything happened really fast: your arrival to korea, your first encounter with ryujin after a long time, the itaewon night and the bar incident... changbin was still a mere stranger but you had quite a feeling that this wasn't going to be the first time you spended time with him since your father made it clear: changbin was like family to him.
shit, i am his real family and never even bothered to reach out for me when i was in japan. he probably only did it this time because of ara.
"is this is?" changbin asked as he parked.
"yeah" you replied, looking at the tall building that was in front of you.
"i'll wait for you here, don't delay, i don't have your time" he snarled without removing his seatbealt.
"you are not coming?"
you had one idea in mind to fuck up his head even more, but it was only going to work if changbin accompanied you to the store.
"and what exactly am i going to do there? rate the stupid clothes you try on?" he scoffed, checking his cellphone without even looking at you.
"do whatever you want" you told him, closing the door with a loud noise and bending over the opened window of the car "but i don't think arthur would be happy about your hostility towards me"
a smile appeared on your face as you walked away, hearing another loud noise indicating that one of the car doors just closed again. good.
*
"are you done?" changbin asked irritated as he walked besides you on your tour of the mall.
"yeah i just" your attention was caught by a black short dress that was on display at the front of a store that looked -expensive-. you had some of your own money from the previous night because, thanks to ryujin's master plan, you didn't actually had to spend any... but it was probably not going to be enough.
and just when you were about to tell changbin that you were ready to go, you remembered it: hyejin lended you one of her credit cards yesterday to buy yourself a "top-of-the-class present" because she was quite unsure of your likes and dislikes.
"i'll just go to that store and i'm done"
changbin rolled his eyes and followed you through the crowd of people that were in the mall at the moment. the store was crowded with people too, mostly women and their husbands or boyfriends who were waiting for them at the couches provided.
as you entered, you were quick to approach the pile of black dresses that caught your attention in order to try one on. the price, as expected, was elevated for you but it was probably nothing for hyejin. i'll buy this, i'm sorry sis.
it was a simple, skinny black dress with the whole back exposed. you figured out that it would be nice to wear it on a bar night or something and, since you didn't have that many clothes for those kind of situations, it would be good to get yourself some.
showtime!
"so" you said, walking out of the dressing room and immediatly catching the attention of changbin who was right outside of it, sitting while talking on the phone with someone.
"i'll call you back" he mumbles, turning his cellphone off.
"how do you like it?"
"does it matter?"
"it's too expensive and i won't buy it if i don't look good in it" you laughed ironically.
"i don't think arthur would be happy with you walking around seoul wearing just that" he scoffed, implying that the dress was too sluty.
"i wasn't asking for arthur's opinion" you spitted "i was asking for yours"
he shrugged his shoulders without even giving a proper answer, returning to the only activity he had been doing since the two of you arrived to the mall: using his cellphone.
"i actually need your help to get this off" you mentioned
he swallowed nervously without even looking at you, licking his lips "ask for help to the ladies that work here"
"they are busy"
you had no idea what they were doing but you needed to get changbin into the dressing room with you. he already feels guilty and i don't have anything to lose, it's not going to harm us if we add more stuff to the the record.
"just help me so we can get this over with and leave" you snarled, waiting for him to get up of the couch and walk with you to the dressing room.
the store was full of people minding their own business and, contrary to popular belief, they sold clothes both for women and men. the dressing rooms were pretty much mixed so it was not going to look weird if they saw changbin entering to one of them. besides, they had long curtains that fell right into the floor, it was impossible to look who was inside of them.
without saying a word, changbin was ready to untie the straps of the dress while looking directly at you through the mirror.
"now this brings back some memories" you said, chuckling.
changbin strucked you down with his gaze and approached the curtains with a swift movement, trying to get out of the small space the dressing room was without even helping you to get out of the dress first.
"look at me and tell me you don't find me attractive" you commanded, looking at his reflection in the mirror before he could even get himself out of there. changbin looked at you, letting out a sigh as he bit his lower lip in frustration.
"i'm sorry for what i said yesterday" he whispered angry, almost in resignation. "if that's what you want to hear so you can drop this fucking bratty attitude then i'm fucking sorry"
to be fair, that was actually what you wanted to hear since you encountered him that morning. but now that you had him there, the urge of wanting to make him feel even more guilty and ashamed just took complete power over you.
you couldn't really explained why you wanted to do all kinds of things to make him feel bad. it was probably your hatred for men, the fraternal relationship he had with your father or the fact that you found him extremely attractive, but you wanted to make him feel miserable.
"so, do you?" you inquired, stepping closer and pushing him away from the curtains.
"stop playing" he insisted, his gaze changing drastically from one moment to another. what looked like anger three seconds ago was now transformed into desire.
"it's okay" you cooed, resting your hands on both sides of his face, tilting yours to the side as your eyes fixed on his lips. "no one will find out about this, if that's what you are worried about"
he parted his lips as his tongue danced inside his mouth, grimacing in frustration "you mean about what happened" changbin dictated.
"about what happened?" you muttered, letting out a small whimper as his bulge grew against your thighs. "or about what will continue on happening?"
one of his hands approached the back of your head, gripping your hair harshly while lifting your face. "you know your father would fucking kill me if he finds out"
a victorious smile appeared on your lips. he just gave in.
"isn't that more fun?"
before you could finish the sentence, changbin's lips attacked yours. the kiss was sloppy and needy, as if he had been wanting to do this exact thing all the evening. his hands traveled to your lower back as he pressed you against him even harder.
his sweet taste and the friction between his bulge and your thigh almost made you give in as well, but you couldn't.
you had to prove yourself that you were still in control of the situation.
just a bit more.
his lips left your mouth to pepper kisses all over your jawline and neck. the way his breathing sounded was heavenly, making you start to feel the heat forming at your core. he looked at your face every now and then, as if he enjoyed the gestures you made by trying to hold back your moans.
okay, that's enough.
"a public restroom and now a dressing room" you shighed, as your hands pushed him away of you "i knew you were desperate but i didn't know how much"
his face contorted in anger, clenching his jaw as he saw you picking up your clothes from the floor.
"don't think too highly of yourself, changbin" you mumbled, looking at him before opening the curtain "you are a man, and men are just so easy"
you walked through the whole store with the dress on and your regular clothes under your arm.
"my boyfriend is paying for this, he is right behind me." and with that being said, you left the store.
*
as you were hiding yourself in the public bathrooms of the mall, you called ryujin.
"i'm at the coex" you said "can you please pick me up, i kind of need to talk with you"
"you want to grab some a snack?" she asked, and you could almost listen how she immediatly got up from her bed to get dressed.
"yeah, but not here" you replied. before hangin up, ryujin gave you a "gotcha" and you continued on changing you back to your previous clothes. you had no bag to carry the dress, so you exited the mall grabbing it like you just stole it.
you patiently waited for ryujin to pick you up, and it was actually earlier than you anticipated.
"there's a lovely coffee shop a few blocks from here"
*
"and that's pretty much what happened" you concluded, just as you finished telling ryujin the whole bar incident and the dressing-room idea you had that evening. she looked at you surprised, as if she just had witnessed a crime.
"so you had your first orgasm ever with a stranger on a public restroom?" she asked, almost on the brink of laughing hysterically.
"i just told you that i engaged in sexual activities with the most despicable men on earth who happens to be my father's right hand and that's everything you could pick up?" you replied, sipping from your iced coffee.
"pretty much, yeah" she joked "i don't remember him"
"yeah, why would you?" you teased her "you were pratically flirting with every man on the table and almost eating the soul out of one of them"
"chan" ryujin said softly.
"oh, so you got his name?"
"not only his name but his number" she mumbled as she held her cellphone almost in a victorious manner.
"so you have been talking to him?"
"kind of" the blonde-haired replied "apparently they are going to have a gathering at his house and he invited me" she then made a long pause "wait, you should come!"
changbin was definitely going to be there. another interaction you could decline but still chose not to.
"yeah i should come"
*
as soon as you got home, you fell completely asleep. it was only 6:00 p.m., but last night you barely had a good night of sleep because ryujin kept moving around and the thought of what happened in the bar wouldn't leave you alone.
as you woke up from your nap, your phone had a couple of unread messages from both hyejin and arthur.
[6:13 p.m., hyejin]
i'm going to grab something to eat with hyuna. arthur said he was probably going to go out to eat with ara and her family so if you want to have dinner just order something with my credit card.
[7:21 p.m., arthur]
i'm going to have dinner at ara's tonight.
with her family.
changbin said he had a great time with you today and since you were going to be at home, he insisted to make you company at dinner time.
i'm glad you two are getting alone
either he was completely stupid or he definetly trusted changbin with his life because no man would ever let her daughter spend time alone with a man.
but that was not even the worse part: you knew where this whole thing was going to.
a great time? you made him pay 620,000 korean wons and humiliated him on a public dressing room. i mean, you did have a great time but you weren't quite sure he did.
before you could start overthinking the whole situation, you heard how the doorbell went off. fuck, well, if i don't open the door he won't be able to come in.
the doorbell went off again, and you just chose to ignore it.
[9:33 p.m. unknown number]
i know you are there
your father told me you were going to be at home
[9:35 p.m. unknown number]
you do know that i have the keys of the house since i spend a lot of time here working with your father here, right?
now you were starting to feel nervous. not only because you were, obviously, going to have to pay for the dress you practically stole, but because you were quite unsure if you could still have the self-control you had earlier today in case he approached you in that way.
but he probably hated you now just as much as you did.
maybe he just wants his money back.
while you were threading your thoughts, you heard how the front door of the house opened. quickly you got out of bed and ran downstairs with hyejin's card on your hand to encounter him before he could even get further into the house.
"just take the 600,000 wons" you said, extending your arm to lend him the credit card number and code.
he scoffed at you, ignoring it.
"i don't give a fuck about the money" he mumbled, approaching you as your back slammed against a cold wall.
oh, just casual rich behavior.
"now i'm the one who wants an apology for the show you did at coex" now this was what you were fearing. his lips dangerously close to you, his scent mixed with mint and cigarettes flooding all your senses.
changbin was fine. his body, even though you hadn't seen it in all his glory, was extremely well built and he knew it; the clothes he wore only accentuating more his manly figure... and here comes the part of the self-control.
"you said my father was going to kill you" you stuttered, trying to look away from his face that was merely centimeters away from yours.
"and isn't that more fun, princess?" princess, that fucking petname again. changbin was using the exact same words that left your mouth hours ago to tease you. "if you don't want this, then tell me. but do it now, because if we move forward i don't think i'll be able to stop"
you swallowed thickly. you knew exactly what he was talking about and the proposal he was making, but wasn't that a bit too rushed? besides, the hatred you felt towards him grew bigger by the minute. wasn't that a bad idea?
but then again, wasn't it a very good idea? you could prove changbin that you didn't thought too highly of yourself for nothing and you would be able to mess with your father's pride... it was just a very good offer you couldn't decline.
"i don't have all night, y/n" he grunted, still looking at you with starving eyes.
"it's you who has to think this through" you whispered, trying to keep the eye-contact with him. "i don't have anything to lose, but you on the other hand..."
"if this is done right, no one will lose anything" changbin replied, brushing his lips softly against your chin "and in exchange, i'll have you begging for me the rest of the days you spend here in korea"
that single statement made you blush, but you wouldn't let changbin acknowledge the power he held over you.
"i don't beg"
changbin gripped your hair and pushed your body down, making you fall into your knees.
"use your words, princess" he said while maintaining eye contact with you "for the last time, tell me that you truly want this and then we can move on to something more interesting"
you were unable to hold your tongue from licking your lips at the sight of his bulge. "i do" you said softly, almost inaudible, but it was good enough for changbin to take you.
his grip on your hair stopped and you were able to stand up, following him into the living room of arthur's house as he rested his whole weight in one of the couches. "come here" he ordered.
he sat down while spreading his legs and it was only then that you noticed how cozy his lap looked. unsure of what to do next, you climbed on top of him, your barely-clothed core making contact with his cock under his pants; just that fraction of contact was all it took to get a whiny moan out of you.
"what exactly where you trying to achieve at the dressing room anyways?" he inquired with a mocking tone.
"i just wanted to get back at you" you admitted, trying so hard to ignore the pressure between your thighs.
"and did you enjoyed it?"
"i did"
changbin licked his lips as he let out a soft laugh, trying to find a decent reasoning behind your behavior.
"well i'm glad you enjoyed it because it didn't work at all" he stated. "no matter how hard you tried to control yourself earlier today, you still ended up craving my touch"
his hands toured your naked thighs and stopped at the elastic of your pijama shorts.
"it doesn't matter" you hissed with strangled breath as his fingers dance around your shorts and skin "i still got what i wanted"
"and what was that?" his hands were now at your hips, holding you so thightly that could anticipate a few bruises there.
"to see you drowning in embarrassement" you admit, looking directly into him. "it was a pretty fun sight"
"i bet" he grunted, lifting ever so slightly his hips and making the pressure between your thighs increase immediatly.
a sudden moan escaped your lips, provoking changbin to smile. "do you want to count again?" he teased, talking about the bar incident.
your hands grabbed his shoulders for support as his hands started guiding your hips over his lap.
unlike you, changbin was all dressed up in his black pants and white shirt he had on earlier today. as soon as you arrived home you changed into more comfortable clothes, your pink pijamas whose fabric was extremely thin, and just now you started to regret your decision of not putting more clothes on before having this encounter with him.
"i need you to touch me" you admit after a few painfully seconds grinding against his bulge. it felt good, but you knew that it would feel even better if he decided to actually participate in your orgasm. besides, the scene of you pathetically grind against him in an attempt to chase your high was degrading.
he was right, both outcomes were pathetic. as you pondered, your head fell upwards and your core started to painfully clenched around thin air.
"then beg" he smiles, his hands still resting on the sides of your body. this bitch. "you don't want to because you are too proud, but how exactly are you going to feel after coming undone only by grinding on my lap without my help?"
"if that's what you want" he grunted at the absence of pleads, lifting his hips again "this is the only way you get to cum tonight"
your hips rushed the movements as you felt your pussy getting hotter, your juices making a mess on changbin's pants.
"who finds who attractive, hm?" he asked as the sight of your dripping core. "it's taking all of my self-control to not fuck you right here, right now"
"why don't you do it?" you ask in between broken moans, your hips moving at a steady pace.
"because you don't deserve it"
changbin was fucking you up and he was doing it just right. every word that came out of his mouth only made you angrier and wetter, drilling a hole on your mind by even considering beg for his touch.
"you don't deserve to fuck me either" you sighed, trying to hold back all the loud moans that wanted to escape your mouth as your clit repeatedly stroke against him.
"i don't?" he asked, mocking pain "are you sure, princess?"
the frustration of not being able to reach your high was starting to make you feel pathetic because all you wanted was to experience the exact same feeling you got at the bar.
"changbin" you whined, grabbing yourself onto his white shirt. "if you aren't going to touch me then please just do something else"
his hands moved all the way to the straps of your pijamas and he gently pushed your top down, exposing your bare breasts.
"do you never wear underwear, princess?" he growled, attaching his lips at the skin that was faintly bruised because of last night.
"fuck, changbin" you moaned, the friction between your bodies increasing as he was closer to you.
"i know you can do it without my help princess" he said, grabbing one of your hardened buds in between his lips.
the knot was starting to form on your lower abdomen at a much slower pace than before, making you let out desperate whines. "look at how messy you are being"
his mouth licked one of your nipples as his fingers played with the other, wanting to edge you until you had no choice but to beg for his touch. "fuck, changbin. i'm close"
as soon as you told him this, you felt how his body reincorporated into his seat, making the contact between your core and his lap almost inexistent. "i changed my mind, i don't want you to cum like this"
with teary eyes you looked at him. was he really going to edge you this bad? was it because you didn't beg? fuck, all you wanted was to cum and he wouldn't even let you do that peacefully.
"don't you think it's my turn?" he smirked while unbottoning his pants. oh, right, his turn.
you clearly had not much experience in that department but you wouldn't let him find that out. back in japan you were not really an enthusiast of oral sex, but you would often hear stories from your classmates talking about experiences and tips.
before you could keep recalling all the stories you heard, changbin's hands stroke your hair making you look directly at him.
he was... making you quite confused about whether if you were going to be able to take it or not. "come on princess" he encouraged as the tip of his cocked brushed your lips slightly.
getting rid of any hesitation you were quick to drag your tongue all over his lenght, earning a sigh out of him. you would be lying if you said that it didn't turned you on, because it did (more than you ever wanted to admit). slowly, he pushed his cock into your mouth making you gag over it. "good fucking girl" he whispered as he starred into your teary eyes.
changbin had one arm over his head while the other guided you to take his cock. his eyes never left yours, only ocasionally as his head fell upwards when the pleasure was too overwhelming for him. his chest was moving everytime at a faster pace, and the sounds that left his mouth were getting more frecuent. "fuck, y/n"
you were learning how to take him inside your mouth to the point that it felt too good having him there. "y/n"
"mhm?" you mumbled around his cock, making waves of pleasure travel all over changbin's body.
"touch yourself for me as you take my cock" he ordered.
you had tried several times to reach your orgasm just by masturbating and it did felt good, but for the longest time you thought that if that was what an orgasm was supposed to feel like, it wasn't so much of a big deal. that was until yesterday, when you truly felt a real one. but you assumed that by the previous stimulation, it was going to be way easier to come undone this time, even if it wasn't as powerful as the one changbin made you feel.
you started to rub your clit in circles as changbin fucked your mouth slowly without parting your gaze from his eyes. his eyes that intimidated the shit out of you and that were the main reason of why you wanted to submit immediatly for him.
"that's my good girl" changbin's grip on your hair was getting tighter and his breathing was getting heavier than before. "does it feel good baby?" he asked, watching how your eyes slightly rolled to the back of your head by the pleasure provided by your own touch and his cock inside your mouth.
"fuck" he cursed under his breath "i'm close"
with eager eyes you started to take him in even more, determined to making him finish just as you chased your own high. your fingers moved around your clit at a soft but hard pace, making that now familiar knot appear at your abdomen. "y/n"
you knew you were a couple of seconds away from your own high as changbin's hands pushed your head all the way over his cock, releasing himself into your mouth. "good fucking girl" he praised with raspy voice and quick breath.
and with the feeling of his hot cum down your throat and your drool all over him, your juices dripped onto your fingers. moaning against his cock, changbin's body trembled at the overstimulation and he quickly pulled himself out of you.
"open your mouth" he ordered while you were still coming down from your high. you did as he commanded, with the remains of his release still in your tongue. "swallow"
and so you did, tasting him.
"my pretty doll" he grunted "did you make yourself cum while your mouth was taking my cock?"
you nodded with tears streaming down your cheeks, messy hair , drool dripping onto your bare chest and your pijama shorts soaked in your own juices. that sight alone was everything for him, increasing his desires of completely ruin you in his bed... or yours... or any place.
a smirk appeared on his face as he pulled you in for a kiss, tasting himself on you.
"i fucking hate you" you whined against him, feeling how your nipples grazed with his chest. "god i fucking hate you"
and even though you did, you knew that this was only getting started both of you.
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stingray-sins · 3 years
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Somewhere only we know...
Summary: It’s an alternate universe explained after Enrico Pucci’s second universe reboot. The hard day after the events in Egypt have triggered a return to "daily" student life in Japan with new things to discover.
Part I
Approximately two weeks had passed since that bizarre trip through the Middle East in a reduced number of days but the feeling of being present and active within that adventure was still latent, the chest would tighten every time the cold embraced the city for the night and although it did not compare at all to the extreme temperatures they experienced, the simple fact of not being fully stable still filled them with a feeling of bitterness, which they did not know how to express or speak openly.
Despite the great changes acquired, returning to everyday life became more difficult every day; Francesca faithfully awaited the arrival of Mr. Joestar through that great gateway to the Japanese home, despite the fact that the situation had presented itself in the best way when he first arrived, the feeling of receiving good news with his request to find her family kept her hopeful . Jotaro on the other hand seemed more reserved than he ever was, it is not easy to deal with the fact of carrying a huge responsibility on his back and even more exhausting was having to accept that he would carry him like a cross all his life. Every morning the same routine, hiding his face under his ruined cap, and leaving home without touching the lunch that her mother had lovingly prepared for him and living off the wretched cigarette until nightfall.
The large entrance door was opened with a bang, from it the man with his gray beard and bright emerald eyes peeked out, trying to argue with his not so fluent Japanese with the taxi driver, who was clearly trying to rip him off with a higher fare abroad.
─"Papa! "─Holly exclaimed, getting up and moving away from that traditional central table that led to the entrance while she ran to hug him as was family tradition. Joe, her youngest son, did not differ much from her mother's attitude since he was just as excited as he ran to his grandfather. Francesca, although she was just as excited to see the old but radiant Mr. Joestar, she only followed with her eyes and a smile, the day had arrived and her facial expression brought good news.
─"What a pleasure it is to be able to see you again, what has happened in my absence? I hope Joe continues to practice that sweet symphony that he taught me last time and 'Cesca working the language well" ─Old Joestar laughed, taking off his hat as he hugged his daughter back and felt like his youngest grandson hung from his arm like a little monkey, Without a doubt it was a very great happiness for him to see his daughter and grandson back up and as happy as ever.
─"It has been quite a change in this house and I cannot be more grateful to her company" ─the woman mentioned while holding her father's coat ─"There is no day that we don't laugh while we share the odd story or song verses... a little help here and a little help here, it is a joy to know that I am no longer the only woman at home."
─"Grandpa!" ─The dark-haired boy exclaimed as he climbed on top of the adult to tell him one or another feat obtained in those weeks ─" And I'm teaching her! Sometimes we sit on the edge of the terrace face to face, if she manages to answer me the phrase in Japanese she earns a mandarin... although she usually wins me when I have to answer her in Italian..."
Joseph listened attentively as he shook the boy's hair and proceeded to enter the house completely forgetting the Japanese traditions, Francesca had closed the grammar notebook for a moment although she could speak it quite well, writing was a disaster and those two weeks were they had made him more than eternal.
─"Hasn't Jotaro arrived at the house yet?" ─Joseph asked, sitting down at the low table while he took a look at ‘Cesca's embarrassing notebook and she stubbornly took it from him.
─"He should be here soon, you already know him... neither he says goodbye when he leaves or greets when he arrives but I suppose they are things of adolescent boys, right?" ─The blond-haired woman winked at Francesca, she simply sighed and then laughed as she lifted her shoulders as a symbol of "Men, who understands them."
A couple of hours passed until the door was heard opening slowly, Jotaro found it quite strange that the lights were still on in the middle of the night, he hoped to arrive when everyone was in their respective rooms so as not to start a conversation with anyone but when he entered he only found himself with his old Grandfather laughing quite loudly as he once again narrated the story of his hand to the ladies and the little one.
─"I think it's great that you have arrived, my grandson, we were waiting for you" ─Joseph announced, extending an arm to greet him properly and with a sigh he agreed to return the greeting. He was tired enough to hear his loud voice echo through the room but he looked up at the old man saying in a would-be voice. As those at the table were seated, Holly got up to answer the phone as usual every night to speak with her husband. Joe made a kind of tower with the tangerines that adorned it while Joseph placing his hands on the table intertwined his fingers announcing with a sincere smile.
─"In the following days, Kakyoin will be transferred to the central hospital in this city. The foundation has done everything possible and his parents were already notified immediately, the news was quite harsh for them and stronger for Noriaki himself, although they managed to rebuild and transplant most of his damaged organs, it is quite difficult to assume that he would not return. to walk never again."
Joseph paused for a moment in his speech, analyzing their faces when listening to him speak, it was undoubtedly quite amazing news at the same time, it was quite heartbreaking again, asking himself "He's alive, but at what cost?" Within the gazes of the two, the bright eyes were noticeable in both, Francesca rested her hands on the table expressing a full happiness when hearing the news, She no longer needed to control her body fluids, she wanted to express that happiness with pure tears and nobody went to stop her. Instead Jotaro tried to hide his happiness under that dark cap, but his smile was bigger than the desire to hide, Joseph knew for all his life that he should rethink Noriaki but he also knew that he would not be alone anymore.
─"Mr. Joestar..." ─Those soft words made him pop out his thoughts when he heard the voice of the minor with an air of questions on her face, they could be celebrating the impressive strength of resistance of the redhead but there were other doubts on the table that had not been clarified still. Francesca preferred not to look him in the eye when asking but her hands unconsciously touched Joseph's hands and he froze for a moment. ─"Have you known about the whereabouts of my family?"
There was only a silence in between, and Joseph's big hand placed it on the girl's purple hair to caress it gently while Francesca tried not to break at the moment by nodding. She getting up, she gently asked permission to go get some air, she had a broken smile which she directed at Holly who was returning to the room. Joseph shook his head and looked down again.
─"It's been difficult" ─the old man sighed while he still couldn't recognize how much longer the lie should continue ─"Jotaro, do you have a moment?"
They both got up because of this issue, he did not want to speak it so openly since the walls listen and he needed someone to trust what was tightening his heart the most at the time. They walked long enough and in silence until they reached a kind of pergola, the same one where he once played wrestling with his little grandson, being defeated with a great performance from him. Before he could speak Jotaro beat him to it.
─"How much longer do you plan to hide the truth from her, old man?" ─He looked up with determination, he was not going to hide more secrets than he was already hiding, although it was difficult for him to admit that a part of him avoided creating more ties with the girl simply because of the uncertainty of creating a bond that would disappear with time . At least that's what he was trying to show, which his mother didn't take five minutes to forge.
─"It has been my question every day Jotaro, and that is why I wanted to talk about it with you" ─he took a breath of air leaning on a nearby wooden pillar ─"The news is not fresh, after three days I contacted a family member from her to find out that it would not be an easy task to deal with her family. Her father... belongs to one of the most recognized mafias in southern Italy, the girl's surname is not at all common and therefore a sought-after surname. That day I introduced myself to the family member as a simple writer who wanted to have an interview with his father, who gave me a tour of Francesca's house pointing out the greatness of the home until we were in a beautiful and colorful garden where two graves were perched..."
─"Enough travel, what brings you here sir...?" -Said the rough voice of Salvatore Castiglier. ─"Joestar, Joseph Joestar" ─offering his hand to greet him cordially without receiving an answer. ─"Mr. Joestar, I was not in my plans to receive you but I see that you are carrying a photo of Mia Figlia with you and I wanted to ask you where she took that photo from." ─"I am a renowned writer in my hometown and in one of my trips to Africa, more specifically Egypt, I managed to capture a photo of this young woman which caught my attention for my next novel." ─He lied with charm in his words.─ ─"I'm sorry but that may not be possible, times have changed and my little girl is no longer in the land of the living, her soul rests next to her mother in that garden that attracted her attention so much." ─"I am very sorry for the news in advance but could I ask you..." ─"I do not usually answer questions that do not concern but your journey must have been long to get here; My daughter Francesca was sweet and naive, and that itself determined the end of her life. The lessons to my boys have always been clear: "there is nothing stronger than family blood, no one but your family will ensure your safety" but Francesca did not see it from that side, stubborn like herself, obstinate to obey my orders , clearly with her actions she deserves to be buried where she is."
Jotaro checked his pocket once more to find the pack of cigarettes but only found the packaging with a pair of colored lighters. The news was not good at all and just thinking about that answer he clenched his fists inside his pocket.
─"Since that day I have been keeping the news to myself, I have clearly dealt with bigger problems but not when I have at stake the fate of a fifteen-year-old girl" ─Joseph said as he sighed in relief, it was a sensitive issue and with the years of experience had learned to make decisions better thought out rather than lightly, or at least tried to make them less hasty ─"I have made a decision about it, I have noticed that in a short time 'Cesca has created a crucial bond with Holly... and her possibilities for personal development are more tied to my daughter than to a bastard who has that thought with her own blood..."
─"Old man, just answer me one thing" ─the boy's marked voice stopped the thoughts aloud of Joseph who looked up, clearing his gaze towards him ─"The reason why you left that place was..."
Joseph stared at his grandson for a long time but he only got a subtle smile as he opted for a calmer position, a position of acceptance in his final decision ─"Expulsion, more specifically, expulsion for causing a clean hit to the face of someone out of deserved." ─Jotaro lowered his gaze denoting a smile on his face, as he walked to the older man to place a hand on his shoulder and give him a couple of gentle strokes on him. ─“I couldn't have expected less from you."
Joseph placed a hand on the hand of his grandson while he smiled, he knew that within the legal framework the decision he had made was not the most appropriate but the most appropriate. He left the establishment while Jotaro sat on a nearby wooden bench taking out the last remaining cigar and placing it between his lips to light it.
─"How much more do you plan to hide behind the bush, woman?" ─he blurted out softly as he leaned back on the wooden pillar watching the smoke dissipate into the air.
─ ""Woman" is a very distant word for someone who from now on will live with you under the same roof" ─she was heard from the bush while she stood again while cleaning the occasional branch from her purple head.
─"How much did you hear about the conversation?"
─"Enough to be here and not want to close my eyes tonight" ─sighs the shorter one, walking to the entrance of the pergola, still had a tight chest but it was not to show vulnerable, she was simply trying to appear once again her tranquility to promote tranquility to the other. An awkward smile that faded when the taller made a space next to him for her to sit next to.
She took three steps to the small wooden bench and sat with nothing but looking forward, her posture was loose and her shoulders slumped, Jotaro simply had his eyes closed as he exhaled once more the cigarette smoke inside him, he felt that the minor's hand was holding her uniform sleeve tightly, she had clung without stopping to look forward and hiding her face between the hair strands that fell from her head, she raised her voice a bit broken.
─"Do you think they will ever deign to look for me again?" ─Her voice trembled, this time soft and nervous. She did not want to show it but tears had started to roll down her cheeks, wetting the wooden floor, yet he did not take his eyes off the front of her.
─"Who?" ─Jotaro asked removing the cigar from his mouth for a moment to deposit the ashes in a corner of the place.
─"My Family" ─it was difficult for her to pronounce the last word to the girl, and instinctively she pressed her right hand on her chest, feeling an inexplicable but at the same time painful emptiness inside her.
─"Your family? The only family that I know of yours is this one here and the one that awaits us in the central hospital of the city" ─The young woman stared at him in amazement, the older one could see the glassy eyes of the young woman, her nose and cheeks flushed from crying and her mouth shaking without making a sound, the young woman with purple hair looked forward again and leaned her back against the wall on the nearby wooden pillar, she released the black-haired uniform to place her hand on the bench but was drawn back to the hand the old one. The difference in size was quite a lot but she did not hesitate to squeeze her small hand in the same way.
─"I'm scared Jojo" ─Francesca finally announced with a nickname that had come from inside her thoughts, she had never expressed insecurity in front of something and all her life since she has remembered she has defended herself from life had always been the buffer for the others but at that moment she needed someone to be there for her.
─"Don't have to be, at least not anymore" ─Jotaro said inserting the cigar between his lips, from the outside he looked like a completely stone man but inside he was experiencing a sense of calm and serenity like never before─ "try not to think about it since you don't need it anymore 'Cesca."
Francesca looked up still with glassy eyes and she smiled sincerely after weeks, in all she was right, there was no need to feel fear when she was no longer alone. She stopped squeezing his hand for a moment but neither moved her from the place, they both closed their eyes enjoying the silence of the moment.
─"You're right Jojo, I shouldn't be anymore."
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ushiwakatrash · 3 years
Text
On your knees, King! (Part 4)
Bakugou x reader, Todoroki x reader
Fantasy AU
!Warnings!: Swearing
Synopsis:
Bakugou is the esteemed King of the Kingdom of Barbarians and because he succeeded in ruling the lands that were once governed by the Yuuei Kingdom, an offering must be made for the peace of the people. As the so-called ‘black sheep’ of the royal family, the King of Yuuei a.k.a. your father, offered you–naming you the most precious thing he could give; but you know the truth behind his words.
PART IV
← Part  3          Part 5 →
--
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The princess couldn’t wipe the smile off her face as she dipped into the bath prepared by Ochako. She had fun--maybe the most fun she’s had in a while. The blonde surely captivated her.
His confident strides as he fended off her weapon during their spar was something she found attractive. Usually, people tend to give up when faced with her during a duel, some just downright give up.
But this man, whose golden locks shine best when the sun is about to set, he stood his ground and gave her quite a beating. Sinking in the water a little more, a content hum escaped her lips.
“Fucking hell, I’m getting married. It would have been nice if dandelion and I could have been friends. Who knows if that stupid face king locks me up in some abandoned tower forever.”
Before her fingers could get wrinkly from being dipped in the water for too long, she had called her maids to dry and clothe her. Even if the thought of her marriage was at the back of her mind, the princess couldn’t help but be in a good mood thanks to the match she had earlier for a boar that had been eaten by the beautiful dragon.
The moonlight was particularly bright that night. For some reason, it was comforting, because she was sure that the same moonlight shone on her dandelion.
--
King Bakugou felt alive. Dominating kingdoms got boring because of how easily people gave up. But for that stupid piece of boar, he sparred for his life. It was  enthralling. The pit of his stomach got warm and mushy every time he would relive the match in his memory.
This is how real fights should feel like, he thought. For someone who didn’t have a lot of friends, he actually wanted to befriend this peculiar girl. She was pretty, he’d give her that. But what amused him the most was how deceiving her demeanor was. 
No matter how he tried to look at it, the girl looked so frail that maybe even a roar from Kirishima would send her to the afterlife. Well shit, he was so wrong. She was strong, both in body and mind. 
In all his years, he never had interest in the opposite sex, he didn’t even feel the need to have a woman by his side. But with the forcing of his parents, he finally agreed with settling down with the token of Yuuei. 
How bad could it be? She would just have to stay out of his way, do her duties as queen and not act unnecessarily. But damn, if he had another chance of picking a bride, maybe that cute girl would make the cut.
“Thinking about her, Bakugou?” Kirishima casually landed on the king’s balcony as if it were his own place. “Shut up, red. I-I’m not.” Kirishima smiled at his stutter. “Man, she was so cool. She even gave me the meat!” the dragon boy clearly shown his fondness of the girl, even if they had just met.
“You know your highness, a Dragon’s instinct is always right. And this girl would have made a fine wife.” The blonde grunted at his steed’s statement because deep down he truly believed it to be true. She was entertaining and smart. He felt as if he wouldn’t even need to protect her.
“Whatever shitty hair. I’m getting married to some damn woman. There’s nothing more I can do.” “Well sire, why don’t we try to find her again? I mean, before you finally marry?”
“You know, that doesn’t sound like a shitty plan”
--
It was as if the two shared the same braincell, the young lady thought of doing the same. Having a few more days of fun wouldn’t hurt anyone.
Her plan was to go to the same place they met and bring snacks for after sparring. Y/n made sure to pack some tasty treats for the red dragon as well. Not knowing the chances of meeting her dandelion, she left her palace quite early.
Quietly making her way through the forest, the light hit Y/n’s face in the right places, giving her this godly glow. Red orbs were captivated by such an ethereal image that had shaken his entire being. 
She was there, a few feet away from the two boys who’ve been there since sunrise. Lost in their thoughts, they failed to notice the arrowhead that skidded against the blonde’s cheek.
“What the hell woman?! You wanna fucking die?!” “Dandelion?!” Bakugou wiped the blood off his cheek. “Nice aim but I’d prefer if you get fowl instead of human flesh.”
The princess quickly tore a small piece of fabric from her top and used it to press on the wound she made. “I’m terrible sorry. I didn’t expect company this early.” Contemplating whether to confess her real intentions, the king beat her to it.
“I came here looking for you. And what luck, we meet again.” The girl’s face brightened as a warm smile was now on her face. “Really?! Me too! But I’m kind of sad Kirishima isn’t here. He was such a good boy”
With the mention of his name, red spiky hair popped out of the back of the blonde and the dragon boy send a toothy smile to the princess. “It’s me, lady! I transform!”
“Kirishima!, that’s amazing” The red head smugly looked at his master, mocking him by lifting his brows repeatedly. Rolling his eyes, Bakugou stood up with dagger in hand and charged at the girl.
Y/n deflected the blade quickly by pushing away the weapon by smacking away the king’s wrist. “Hah, nice try dandelion!” “Stop calling me that!”
After minutes of non-stop combat, they finally took a break. Kirishima transformed into his dragon form to use his wing as shade for the two. “What’s your name, woman?”
I don’t think I should tell him, Y/n thought. It would be difficult if she were to be seen with a man days before she meets her husband to be. “Hmm, call me daisy. It’s only fair since I call you dandelion!”
“Whatever. It’s been a while since I’ve gotten a good spar in. I have you to thank, daisy.” “I could say the same. Thanks Dandelion.” 
From the bushes, Y/n revealed her picnic basket and proceeded to lay out the contents. “I expected a dainty lunch from you, but you eat like a fucking soldier!” The girl’s face flushed from Bakugou’s teasing but mostly from the laugh that one could listen to for days.
The lunch had a few small portions of greens but it mostly consisted of meat.
“Shut up you damn porcupine! Just eat or else I’m giving your share to Kirishima!” At the sound of food and his name, the dragon’s head whipped fast. “Oi red, don’t even dare.”
Taglist: @the-sander-fander @cathwritestragediesnotsins @emilymikado @itsmysticalmystery @yoonbbyboy @karissassirak
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electronicgrowth · 3 years
Text
Can’t Get Enough Part 8
The two most stubborn people in Knockemstiff, Ohio have eyes for only each other. Lee Bodecker is determined to become the town’s next sheriff. He knows that image is everything. Billie Dechswaan doesn’t care about her image at all. All she wants is to leave Knockemstiff and never come back. But Lee has other plans for her. Both are far too stubborn to give up their own plans. What happens when they can’t get enough of each other? 
A/N: So, this is a long one. If I’m honest, I’ve lost a lot of my vigor for this story. I still have quite a bit of story written, so maybe I’ll find the inspiration again. But if I’m totally honest.... I’m wildly depressed. Like barely functioning. I’m going to keep posting what I already have written, but I’m not sure if I’ll finish what I had initially planned out. 
That day started like any other for Lee Bodecker. He awoke with a headache. A consequence of drinking too much the night before. He peeled himself out of his bed, before stumbling to the bathroom for a shower. He was disappointed. Nearly a week since John passed and Billie had yet to show her face. Maybe she didn’t care. Maybe she really had cut off all contact with her family. Maybe she even found a new guy and had already given him a whole bunch of babies. 
The last thought made Lee feel nauseous. And not in the hangover kind of way. 
After the shower, Lee shaved. He may feel like a mess but he couldn’t show it. Then he proceeded to pick up the beer bottles from the counter and dispose of them. He liked the house clean when he got home. Even if he just proceeded to make the same mess all over again. 
He made his way to work. Nobody at the station greeted him. It was a well-known fact that Sheriff Bodecker was not a morning person. Lee was able to enjoy two cups of coffee while he did some paperwork. The morning passed without incident. Miss Edna, the receptionist came in at exactly noon with more paperwork for Lee, a fresh cup of coffee and a sandwich. She’d worked at the station for 30 years. And no matter who the sheriff was, she always made him a sandwich for lunch. Edna was the glue that kept the station running. No one dared talk back to her, not even Lee.
After lunch, Tim Mitchell rushed into Lee’s office. Not even stopping at his desk. 
“You alright, Mitchell?” Lee asked the deputy. 
“Yes sir,” he responded, “Thought you’d wanna know I dropped Sylvie and the baby off at her mama’s house this morning.”
“Why would I need to know that?” Lee hissed. 
“Joy had a vistor. One I think you would be very interested in seeing.” 
“Billie?” Could it be? Lee didn’t dare let himself hope.
“Yes, but I think the person with her might be of more interest to you.” 
A husband? A boyfriend?
“Just spit it out,” Lee groaned in annoyance. 
“Billie had a little girl with her,” Tim answered, “She’s probably about four. Thought you’d wanna know.” 
Lee was shocked. So, that letter Billie had sent him about losing the baby wasn’t true after all. A four-year-old. She had to be Lee’s. That meant that Lee was a father. Of a child. Not a baby. He was utterly gobsmacked. 
“Thank you, Mitchell,” he dismissed. Mitchell nodded before exiting the office. Lee took a moment, not to collect his thoughts, no. A moment to collect his jacket and run out the door to tell the undersheriff that he was leaving and not to disturb him. Lee sped to the Dechswaan farm. He broke every traffic law. It was a good thing that he was sheriff. 
He practically ran from his car to the door. Lee proceeded to pound on the door with his fist four times. Not caring if he was rude. He was here for something that belonged to him. 
She opened the door as Lee resumed his pounding. He looked shocked that she’d open the door. Almost like he didn’t believe she was really here. He was dressed in his sheriff’s uniform. He’d gained a bit of weight since she last saw him, he was still handsome though. And Lee surveyed how much curvier Billie was too. She really looked like a woman.
“Let’s go for a walk, Lee,” she said before he could speak. She closed the door and walked down the porch. She marched through the yard, arms crossed. He followed silently, he was fuming. And yet, he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. The way she swayed as she walked. Lee let her lead him all the way to the barn before saying anything. 
“Okay, talk,” he commanded. 
“What do you want me to say?” Billie asked, turning to him but keeping her distance from him.
“Tim said you had a little girl with ya,” Lee accused. 
“I do. My daughter.”
“How old is she?”
“Four.” 
Lee nodded and tenses his jaw, “So, she’s mine then?” 
“Yeah,” Billie conceded, no emotion on her beautiful face. 
“Why? Why didn’t you tell me? You said you miscarried,” Lee muttered, feeling betrayed. 
“Because you are a steamroller. And heaven help anyone who gets in your way, Lee. I wasn’t about to let you take away all my options. I owed it to myself to try my hand in New York.” Her face was scrunching up in angry. 
“And you owed it to me to tell me about my kid!” 
“You think I don’t know that? I regret it everyday, but I can’t take back the past now!” She shouted. 
“That’s it? That’s all you regret?” Lee countered, stepping closer to her.
“Of course not,” Billie scoffs, rolling her eyes and turning away from Lee. But he was quick to grab her, pull her back towards him. 
“What then? What do you regret,” he growls, his face just inches from hers. Her eyes flicked down to his lips. She swayed closer. Lee thought, for just a moment, that she might try to kiss him. But she regained her composure and met his eyes once again.
“Alright, you listen here Lee Bodecker. I’m only gonna say this once,” she begins quietly, “I was wrong. And you were right. I should never have left. And I’m sorry.” 
“Oh, sugar,” Lee laughs bitterly, releasing his grip on her arm, “I’m definitely gonna make you say that all again.” 
Billie crosses her arms, and smirks at him. 
“I knew you’d say that,” she says, “Good thing I’m prepared to beg.” He’s shocked at her tone, she’s toying with him. She knows just what buttons to push to get him right where she wants him. He knows he’ll be putty in her hands soon enough, he’ll give her anything she asks for. But she deserves a little punishment for all the years he was forced to live without her.
“And why was it a mistake, sugar?” He coaxes. 
“There are a lot of reasons it was a mistake,” she counters, looking at her hands, picking at her cuticles. 
“Tell me,” Lee demands. 
“Well, no one in New York wants some hick with an accent teaching their kids. I got a useless degree. And I surely know how to pick my men. The first boy I ever went on a date with tried to rape me months later with his buddies. You got me pregnant on purpose. And the one I dated to try and forget you used me as his personal punching bag.”
“He hit you?” 
“It’s been awful, Lee. I-I can’t do anything right. I always think I’m making the right decision, but it’s always the wrong one. And if you want me to say it then I will. I’m at rock bottom. And I shouldn’t have left you,” she murmurs. 
“Why?” Lee challenges. 
“You know why.” 
“No, tell me.”
“The biggest mistake was thinking I could stay away from you. But don’t think for one minute that it’s because I need you.”
“Then why can’t you stay away if you don’t need me,” Lee narrows his eyes. 
“B-because I love you,” she mutters the sentence so quietly Lee almost couldn’t hear her. 
“You love me?” He smirks. 
“Yeah,” she shakes her head. 
“Alright darlin’. I’m gonna tell you how this will go.”
“Alright.” 
“We’re going to the courthouse tonight and making this official. I don’t care if I have to haul the judge in myself. When people ask, we’ll say we reconnected recently and decided to keep it small given the circumstances.” 
“Just like I said, you’re a steamroller,” Billie chuckled, “You think you have all the power. But I know what you’ve been doing here.”
“Oh yeah,” Lee challenged, “What have I been doing?”
“I heard all about Sandy and Carl, and you killing Leroy Brown and you taking bribes,” Billie spat. 
“Well, we’ve both made mistakes. I’ve only done what I’ve done for you. To provide for you. I take those bribes because it makes me more money,” Lee yelled. 
“And you got yourself in some hot water in the process. I heard you even fucking got shot. Do you know what that was like for me? I nearly came home when I heard that, I thought you were going to die. You need to be more careful Lee,” Billie shot back.
Billie realized that she had Lee right where she wanted him. He was her ticket away from Larry. He was more than capable of protecting her from that bastard. And she’d be lying if she said she didn’t want him. Billie walked forward to Lee and pushed him up against the side of the barn. She looked up at him with her big doe eyes. 
“Do you love me, Lee?” She asked, pressing her body against his. 
“Do you love me?” He countered, suspicious of her. 
“I do. I really love you,” she whispered, her hands rubbing down his chest and stomach until she cupped his cock through his pants, “So, let me tell you how this is gonna go. We’ll go to the courthouse when I’m ready. You’re not going to punish me for leaving even though I know you really want to.” She undoes his belt and pants, her hand slips into his underwear and she grips his cock, slowly jacking him off. His head lolls back to hit the barn wall. “You are going to be more careful going forward. No fights that involve guns. You are not getting shot again. Because you’re gonna have a wife and a baby that need you.” Lee groans, eyes shut, enjoying her hands on him for the first time in five years. “I’ll let you fuck me raw. Let you get me pregnant again. I’ll give you all the babies you want. I bet you would like that wouldn’t you, honey?” Lee nods pathetically. Her hand is moving up and down his length at a brutal pace, Lee jerks his hips, chasing the pleasure. “But you have to protect me. And you’re going to give me anything I want.” Billie leans up and licks Lee’s neck. “You’ll give me a nice house and pretty dresses. And I’ll just be at home all day, dripping for you. Waiting for you to come home and fuck me so good. Keep me full of you. Don’t you wanna be inside me, Lee?” Lee groans loudly. Billie sucks a hickey into Lee’s neck, and forces his lips down to meet hers. “I’m gonna help you become mayor one day, so just tell me you love me. And I can make all that happen for ya.” 
“Shit, baby. I love you so fucking much,” Lee grunts, his arms locking Billie against him, “Don’t leave me again.” 
“I promise I won’t,” she gasped, as she started to get down on her knees, but Lee grabbed her elbow and kept her upright. He grabbed her and slammed her against the barn. He caged her in and caught her lips. He holds onto her waist like he may never let her go. Her tongue is everywhere. It’s becomes clear to Lee that Billie is just as desperate for him as he is for her. Billie pulls away, panting for air and stares into Lee’s eyes. All he can see is how much she loves him, and he wonders if she sees the same thing in his eyes. He bends down to pick her up, her legs wrap around him. With one arm he holds her up, with the other he moves her panties to the side and grips his cock, preparing to plunge inside her. He rubs his length against her slit for a moment. Then rapidly shoves himself inside. He’s brutally fucking into her and she’s a mess. Desperate for anything he’ll give her. 
“Lee,” she whined. He smirked. 
“You like that baby?” he teased. She nodded. 
“You feel so good,” she cried, her head lolled back to hit the wall of the barn. Lee can see in her eyes that she’s totally lost in pleasure. Her eyes are unfocused and glazed over. He continues to pummel in and out of her.
“Did he fuck you like this?” He growled into her neck.
“He never fucked me,” she moaned, “I wouldn’t let him.”
“Why?” He teased.
“B-because….” 
“Because why?” He was just being cruel trying to get coherent answers at of her at this moment.
“Because I only ever wanted you.” If there was one sentence that ever made Lee’s cock so hard and warmed his heart so much it was that sentence. 
“Honey,” he murmured forcing her to pay attention to him, slowing his thrusts, “tell me that you love me.” 
“I love you so much, Lee,” she sobbed. 
“You gonna cum, honey?” He asked. 
“Yes.” 
“Play with your clit,” he demands. Billie is quick to comply. Her fingers skate down between them to find her clit and she rubs circles against herself. Lee speeds up again. 
“What do you want, baby?” 
“I want your cum, Lee. Please give it to me.” Lee wasn’t about to leave his girl hanging, as soon as she begins to tighten around him, he lets himself go. He comes inside her with a grunt of her name. She’s quick to follow, letting out a high pitched shriek. 
He pants against her lips, before taking out a handkerchief from his back pocket. He wipes off his cock and cleans between her legs and shoves the handkerchief into his back pocket. Billie leaned up against the side of the barn, desperately trying to catch her breath. 
“You want to meet your daughter?” Billie asked, as Lee tucked himself back into his pants. 
“Really?” Lee looked shocked at the offer. 
“Yeah, of course,” Billie scoffed. 
“What if she doesn’t like me?” 
“She will. She likes most people,” Billie promised. 
“Most people?” He questioned. 
“She only ever dislikes people that give her a reason,” Billie answered. She grabbed Lee’s hand and pulled him back to the house. His thumb dragged across her knuckles. He didn’t know if he’d ever let go of her hand. 
“Just grab a seat,” Billie said, gesturing towards the couch in the living room, “She’s just napping.” Billie sat down next to Lee. She kicked her shoes off, and draped her legs across his lap. 
“So, what’s it like to be sheriff?” she smirked, the way her eyes lit up was the same as when she was eighteen. When she used to tease him in the front seat of his car. 
“It’d be better if I had less idiot deputies,” Lee chuckles. 
“Well, you better get on that Sheriff,” Billie teased, “But you like it?”
“I do. It’s nice to be in charge,” Lee responded. Billie hummed. She knew that he liked to be in charge. 
“Sheriff Bodecker,” Joy sighed, as she entered the front sitting room, “How are you doing?” 
“I’m good. How are you holding up, Joy?” Lee asked. He allowed concern to flash across his face. Even though he knew of his role in her grief. 
“Much better now that my Billie is home,” she answered, petting Billie’s hair. 
“I feel the same way,” Lee smiled dreamily. 
“You gonna make an honest woman outta my daughter then?” Joy joked. 
“I think I will,” Lee laughed. 
“Good, good. We could use the happiness of a wedding around here. Or more babies,” Joy beamed as she went back to the kitchen. 
Lee smirked down at Billie after the baby comment from her mother. Billie toyed with Lee’s hands, avoiding his gaze, and intense blush colored her cheeks, despite the fact that Lee had been balls deep inside her ten minutes ago, coaxing her to promise him more babies.
“Mama,” called a small voice. 
“I’m right here, baby,” Billie answered getting up from the couch and going to the stairs. Beth took each step down slowly. Her hair and dress were rumpled. When Beth reached Billie, she attempted to smooth her daughters hair and clothes. 
“I have someone I want you to meet,” Billie cooed. Picking her daughter up. Billie went back to the couch and sat down with Beth in her lap. 
“Lee, this is Beth,” Billie said. Lee smiles down at the little girl. Beth decides to take the opportunity to lean as far forward as she can to see Lee. He’s surprised that she’s not shy. He’s a stranger after all. She reaches out to touch his badge. Seemingly intrigued by the star-like plaque. 
“Are you a policeman?” She asks him. 
“Yeah, I’m a sheriff,” he tells her. 
“What’s that?” She asks. 
“That means he’s in charge of all the other policemen around here. Uncle Tim is a policeman and this is his boss,” Billie says patiently. 
“Do you catch the bad guys?” Beth quizzes, looking up from his badge to his eyes.
“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” Lee chuckles. Beth wriggles out of Billie’s lap and closes the very small distance between her and Lee. She climbs onto his lap and continues to play with the edges of his badge. 
“I have a bad guy for you to get,” she tried to whisper, it comes out less quiet and more like a stage whisper. 
“Sure thing, peanut,” he said affectionately. He’s expecting her to tell him about the monster under her bed. Or a criminal in a story. 
“It’s mama’s boyfriend. He’s mean and he hurts her,” the little girl told him. Lee attempted to keep his features schooled. He doesn’t want to scare the little girl. For a moment he considers hunting down the bastard and strangling him with his bare hands. He wants to make him suffer, and be the reason that asshole would never see the light of day again. But he needs to take care of the little girl in his arms for the moment.
“Well, I want nothing more than to keep your mama safe,” he placates the small child. He looks at Billie and she looks guilty. 
“Baby,” Billie scolds, “You know that we’re here because mama isn’t with Mr. Larry anymore, because he’s a bad man. We’re moving back where all of our family is.” Beth slowly nods, but continues to play with Lee’s badge, small fingers skating over the edges.
“Beth,” he says as he directs his attention back to the little girl on his lap, “do you want to color?” Beth looked up excitedly at Lee. She hurried Billie out to the car to get her favorite coloring books. Billie, Lee and Beth sit at the mismatched dining room table and color together. Beth talks Lee’s ear off. She spends that time telling him everything about herself. Her favorite book, her favorite animal, her favorite color, all the information she deems the most important. Lee just soaks in everything she tells him. He’s ecstatic to be learning about his daughter.
That evening, Billie digs out her old apron. She and Sylvie make dinner while Lee and Joy occupy Beth and Rose. After having dinner and cleaning the kitchen Beth looks almost dead on her feet. But she returned to the table with after dinner coffee. She sat down next to Lee. He was quick to rest his hand on her thigh. 
“You look exhausted, honey,” he observed. 
“I am,” she sighed, “I should probably get Bethie ready for bed.” 
Upon hearing this Beth shrieks, “Noooo. I want to stay up and keep coloring with him!” Crocodile tears began welling up in Beth’s eyes. 
“Baby it’s okay,” Billie tried to placate. But Beth was not having it, she looked like she was about to start wailing. Lee stood up and picked Beth up from her chair and then sat right back down with Beth in his lap, she was far more content there.
“Beth,” he began, hesitantly, “How do you feel about you and mama living with me? And me being your daddy?” 
Beth’s tears dry up quickly and her eyes light up, “Really?” She asks excitedly, “Can we mama?” Lee catches Billie in a dreamy daze. He only ever saw that look every once in a while. 
“Of course, sweetpea,” she smiles. 
“Can we go now?” Beth begs.
“We probably should be getting this one home,” Lee said, petting Beth’s hair soothingly. 
“Home?” Billie questioned. 
“What? You thought that I wouldn’t have you two come home with me tonight?” Lee chuckled. 
“Isn’t that inappropriate for the sheriff to let an unmarried woman stay at his house?”
“I was just re-elected. So, I’m not too worried about what people say. As someone in law enforcement, only I can speak to where is safe for a young woman to stay at night.” 
“Alright,” she says, amused, “You still live in the same place?”
“I do.”
“I’ll drive my car over there then,” she smiles, standing from her seat, “Beth, it’s time to go. Hug Grandma goodbye.” Beth slowly gets up and hugs Joy. Billie kisses her sister and mother on the cheek. 
“Do you need anything before Wednesday, mom?” She asked Joy quietly. 
“No, the funeral home did want us to come early. They said 2:00, I believe,” Joy sighed. 
“Alright, well if you think of anything just call me at Lee’s, okay?” Billie commanded. 
“I will, honey,” Joy promised. Beth is standing close to her mom, while Lee waits for them at the door. 
“Mama, up,” Beth demands making grabby hands. 
“Baby, you’re getting too big for mama to carry,” Billie tries to reason. Beth’s bottom lip quivers and Lee can see that she’s about to cry again. 
“Beth, why don’t you let daddy carry you,” he offers. Beth beams up at him, rushing over so he can pick her up. Billie mouths “Thank you” to him. Lee grabbed Billie’s hand and led her out of the house with his daughter in his arms. He’s on top of the world. 
Billie follows Lee to his house. He lives in a simple ranch style house. It looks the same as the last time Billie saw it. Lee always said that this was just a first home. That he wanted to live there until he’d had a couple of kids. Then when the third baby was on its way, he would buy a bigger house. 
Lee is quick to help Billie with the bags. She doesn’t have many. And she’d sold her furniture to a young couple down the hall. They enter into the living room and it’s just the same. Same furniture, just a little more worn down. Lee locked the door and led them towards the bedrooms. He set the suitcases down in the hall, between the master room and one of the spare rooms. Lee had furnished both the spare rooms with items he’d inherited when his mother died. 
“Beth can sleep in this room,” he said pointing to the room next door to the master, “I’ve got some sheets for that bed in the closet. I don’t keep them on the bed unless I have company.” Billie nodded. 
“It’s getting close to her bedtime. Do you mind getting her bed ready, while I give her a bath?” She asks, gesturing towards Beth, who is tiredly leaning against the doorway. 
“Of course,” Lee says eagerly. Billie takes one case and begins digging through it. He can see that it’s Beth’s clothes. Billie is quick to find a small little night dress for Beth, before picking up another bag and finding Beth’s shampoo and toothbrush. She leads Beth to the bathroom where she fills the tub and starts directing Beth into the tub. Lee smiles to himself at how right this feels.
After her bath, Beth demands a bedtime story. Billie sits in the rocking chair in the corner, Beth in her lap, gently rocking as she reads the story. Lee watches from the doorway. He’s not paying attention to what she’s saying. He’s enthralled by how maternal she looks. She looks like she was made to be a mother. She happily makes a new voice for each character, Beth fights to keep her eyes open. She, too, is captivated by her mother. But the exhaustion of the day wins, and her breathing evens out as she falls asleep. Billie carefully tucks Beth in with a gentle kiss of her forehead. She turns to Lee, shooing him from the room. She quietly closes the bedroom door. 
Lee stares at Billie. Her baby blue dress brings out the blue in her eyes. Her hair is starting to fall from its perfect style. She looks as beautiful as always, but Lee knows her well enough to see that she’s completely exhausted.
“Let’s wash up and get to bed,” he coaxed. She nodded in agreement. Lee went to the bathroom first, quickly splashing water onto his face and washing up. Billie went next. She removed her makeup and brushed out her hair. She hated the way she looked without makeup. She knew she wasn’t nearly as pretty. But she also knew it was just better for her to take it off. She changed into a nightie, as well, before she exited the bathroom and went back to the bedroom. Lee was already in bed, and Billie was quick to crawl in next to him. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into him. 
“I have something for you,” he hummed. 
“Lee, I swear to God if you pull out your cock—“ Billie threatened. Lee laughed heartily and as quietly as he could with Beth in the next room. 
“No, something else that I think you’ll like,” he smirked. Billie rolled her eyes playfully and shook her head. Lee got out of bed and went to the closet. Billie could see that he was looking for something. She saw him pull a shoebox from the top shelf, he quickly took what he needed from the box and put it back where he had found it. Whatever it was that he got from the box, he hid it behind his back. His eyes glinted mischievously as he approached the bed. 
“So, I got this for you a while ago. And I kept it because I always hoped you would come back and I could give it to you,” Lee murmured as he kneeled down next to the bed. Finally, he revealed a small box. Billie had a feeling she knew what this was. 
He opened the box, and revealed a beautiful ring. It was set on a thick gold band. In the center was a diamond that sparkled impossibly, an asscher cut. It wasn’t as large as the diamonds all the women in Hollywood got, but it was far larger than anything in this region of Ohio.
“Lee,” Billie gasped, “How long have you had this?” 
“I got it a couple of weeks before you told me that you were pregnant,” he answered, smiling bashfully. 
“I can’t let you give me this. It’s so extravagant,” she protested. 
“Sugar, I’ve been dying to give you this ring for five years. So, marry me, let me give you this ring, and make me the happiest man alive,” Lee smiled, “Please.” 
“Of course,” she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. Lee slid the ring up her finger. It fit perfectly. Lee got up from the floor and got back onto the bed. He crawled over Billie before kissing her deeply. When she cupped his cheek he could feel the extra weight of the ring. It spurred him on, his bit down on her bottom lip before kissing down to her neck. Her hands raked through his short hair. His fingers went to the apex of her thighs, he slid her panties to the side and plunged two fingers into her. He was shocked that she was already quite wet. He kissed her neck, as the room filled with obscene noise from her pussy. 
“Lee, please. I need you inside me,” she begged. 
“I am inside you, baby,” he teased. 
“Your cock. I need your cock,” she mewled, “I need to feel you inside me.” Lee wasn’t about to argue with a beautiful woman in his bed. He helped her out of her nightdress and underwear. She yanked on his boxers until he helped her get them off. He settled himself between her thighs. He lazily rubbed his cock over her slit, wetting his length. He pushed just the head of his cock in before removing it again. Billie pouted up at him. 
“I think you may owe me a little something, darlin’,” he teased. 
“Please, please,” she pled, clawing her fingers into his ass. 
“Aww, look at my little baby. So desperate for my cock,” he mocked, he continued to rub himself against her pussy lips. “What would you do for my cock right now?” 
“Lee,” she groaned. Billie was not interested in this game at the moment. Maybe a different night, but she just needed him to fuck her into the mattress. “Just tell me what you want and I’ll do it.” 
“I wanna make another baby with you, right now,” Lee growled in her ear. 
Seriously? That was all he wanted. From how he was playing it, she thought he might want anal. 
“Well,” she began as she moved her hips up and down, forcing him to take more friction, “then you better get to work, daddy.” She whispered the last word directly into his ear, before licking the shell of it. That was all it took for Lee to push into her abruptly. He stilled and looked down at her. 
“Tell me you want me to get you pregnant,” he demanded. 
“I want you to get me pregnant,” she whimpered. 
“What?” He goaded. 
“I want you to get me pregnant, daddy.” Lee began pumping in and out of Billie brutally, hitting that sweet place inside her that made her gush all over him. 
“Fuck, did you get tighter?” He groaned. His hands palmed her breasts. Lee was sure it wasn’t just the five years of separation, but he was enthralled by how beautiful she was. She was perfect. His hands couldn’t grip all of her breasts, her hips flared out in delicious curves. Her tummy was soft, softer than before, it was an aftereffect of having his baby, Lee was sure. Her thighs were thick, he couldn’t help but imagine those wrapped around his face as he fucked her with his tongue. But that was a task for another day, or maybe just later. 
His hands skated down her figure to grabs her hips. He held onto her so tight, he knew it would leave bruises but he used his grip as leverage to fuck her harder. Her legs locked around him, as he thrust in so hard it pushed her farther up the bed, until her head hit the headboard. Billie threw one hand up to stop her head from slamming harder into the headboard, but that action just forced the headboard to slam into the wall. 
“Lee,” she moaned, “We have to be quiet.” They had a little one to worry about now. Lee slowed, but the headboard kept hitting the wall. He pulled out and stood next to the bed. Billie immediately pouted at the loss of him inside her. 
“Come here,” he cooed. She crawled over to him and began to lay back before he stopped her. 
“No, back to me, feet on the floor,” he commanded. She followed his directions and stood so her back was pressed to his front. He held her tightly to him. Kissing her neck, as one hand held her hip and the other ran over her belly. 
“Can’t wait til you’re all swollen with me,” he hummed in her ear. He pushed her forward onto the bed, before pushing back inside her. Billie turned her face so she could moan into the bedspread. Lee used this new position to fuck her deeper. And as hard as he could. His hands held her hips tightly, and he bent over her, kissing her neck and back. She got wetter and wetter the more attention he paid to her back. That was something he’d never discovered and he loved it. He started sucking bruises between her shoulder blades and the curve where her neck met her shoulder. 
“Oh, fuck,” she gasped. Her juices were starting to trickle down her thighs. 
“So wet,” he smirked, one hand curving around her body to rub her clit. Lee could feel her legs starting to shake. 
“You gonna come for me, baby?” He teased. She nodded desperately, not able to speak. Her hands went to the bedspread and gripped it tightly. Lee kissed the back of her neck, and felt her clench a bit tighter around him. He laved his tongue over the same area, before sucking a bruise in the same section. Billie’s eyes rolled back and she came with a shout. It took all of Lee’s self control not to follow her. He slowed his thrusts as she came down. He pulled out, very pleased to see her dripping as he did. 
He rolled Billie onto her back. He wanted to look at her when he came. He cupped her face, she was still in a daze, but she looked up at him dreamily. He pushed back into her, and she moaned, quietly. 
“I love you,” she whimpered. 
“I love you, baby,” he told her. Tears sprang to her eyes, as he rolled his hips slowly against her. 
“I’m sorry,” she murmured, “I wish I never left.” 
“Shh, it’s okay,” he reassured. She reached up to touch his face. 
“You need to know, I missed you everyday. I regretted it everyday,” she sobbed, “I was so stupid. You are the only man I ever could’ve loved and I left you.” Lee stopped moving, but stayed inside her. 
“Honey,” he said, “It’s okay. I promise. I’m never gonna stop loving you. Not even you leaving could change that. Just be with me now. We don’t have to worry about anything else but the future, okay?”
“Okay,” she whispered. He kissed her forehead. 
“Do you want to stop? We can just go to sleep if you want.”
“No, I want to keep going.” 
“You sure?” He asked. 
“Yeah, please,” she begged, “I want you to feel good.” She leaned up to kiss him. Her hands lightly scratched over his back, encouraging him to keep going. Lee hesitated but picked his movements back up, he was going slow. Slower than Billie wanted. 
“Faster,” she commanded. Lee complied, slamming into her. 
“Say my name,” he growled. 
“Lee,” she breathed in a high pitch voice. 
“Tell me what you want, honey,” he grunted. 
“I want you. I want you to cum inside me,” she gasped. 
“Are you mine?”
“Yes, yours. All yours.” Lee was pummeling into her now, chasing his orgasm. 
“I love you, Lee,” she whimpered. And those words sent Lee careening over the edge of the cliff. His hips stuttered into her, as he came. Rope after rope of hot cum painted her walls. Billie fluttered around him. Lee panted above her, but leaned down to capture her mouth all the same. His tongue tangled with hers. 
When they broke apart, Lee pulled out. Billie started to sit up, but Lee pushed her back down. 
“Stay on your back,” he ordered, “I want it to take.”
“Honey, we have all the time in the world to try again,” she laughed. Lee didn’t care. He picked her up from the edge of the bed, and set her down, so she could lay against the pillows. He helped her get under the sheets before joining her. He thought about pushing inside her again so none of his cum could leak out. Billie turned onto her side so she could lay across his chest. He scowled at her for ignoring his directions. 
“Don’t worry. I’ll let you fuck your cum back into me in the morning,” she sighed, burrowing her face into the crook of his neck. Lee chuckled, and wrapped one arm around her. He was dragging his hand up and down her back when he felt it. He wasn’t sure what it was, but it was a bumpy spot on her back. It didn’t feel like the rest of her soft skin. He peered down and saw several dots. They were in clusters all over her back. He hadn’t noticed them before, he’d been too preoccupied.
“What are these?” He asked her. Billie stiffened. She was like a board in his arms. 
“It’s nothing Lee. Let’s just get to sleep,” she hummed. 
“Tell me,” Lee said sternly. 
“Just… just don’t freak out, okay?” She murmured, pulling away to look at his face. “They’re healed cigarette burns. Larry was an angry drunk.” Lee felt a murderous rage race through his blood. He had half a mind to get dressed and go find that bastard that very instant. “Honey, please just stay calm.” 
“Stay calm? How do you expect me to stay fucking calm?” Lee hissed through gritted teeth, trying to stay quiet for Beth’s sake. 
“It’s okay. It’s over. I’m here and he’s back in New York,” she soothed. 
“I could just kill him,” Lee growled. 
“I’m okay,” she promised, “Let’s just go to sleep. Please.” Lee nodded begrudgingly. He pulled Billie back into him. She quickly fell asleep, but Lee was content to just hold Billie for a moment. Happy that after so long she was back in his arms. 
@greeneyedblondie44 @bxnnywriting @kitty4860
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kaimelia · 3 years
Text
Here Alone
a/n: hi! this is awfully sad and for that, I apologize...but I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you like reading it!
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Amelia woke up with a feeling. Some sort of pit in her stomach, a feeling that she didn't want to get out of bed so she could avoid something.
She rolled over and pulled the comforter over her head, groaning loudly when her husband pushed open the door with a mug of her favorite tea in hand. Link had smiled and chuckled at her when she told him and grabbed her hand, pulling her into a sitting position and kissing her lips. He persuaded her to leave the bed and led her into the kitchen, where Scout was happily eating blueberry pancakes and their daughter twirling around in her favorite purple sundress. Amelia left in a hurry with Charlotte in her arms, quickly kissing her husband goodbye. She changed into scrubs to find a note from Link in her locker, "You're amazing. You're going to rock this surgery. I love you," he had written, a messy scrawl on one of the note papers they'd stick in Scout's lunch box. She grinned and placed it in her purse, locking it away in her cubby.
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Surgery was going well until the nurses started to whisper among themselves. The pit in Amelia's stomach from the morning returned, and she asked if they had anything to share. Silence filled the O.R., and Amelia shook her head, attempting to ignore it. She sighed audibly after finishing the ten-hour surgery, grateful her patient had made it through without any real complications, ready to find her husband and convince him into giving her a foot massage and to order takeout for dinner. The grin on her face fell once she walked into the scrub room to see Jo nervously wringing her fingers. "What happened?" Amelia asked, hiding her shaking hands under the stream of water in the sink.
"It's Link."
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She felt like she was moving in slow motion. People walked in and out of the attendings' lounge, some acknowledging her and others not. Meredith walked in and wrapped her arm around Amelia. "He'll be okay," she whispered, hugging her sister tightly.
"I had a feeling when I woke up. That something bad would happen today, but Link told me everything would be fine," the neurosurgeon laughed out, tears welling in her eyes the more she spoke. "Everything's not fine."
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She knew it before anyone said it. Owen walked into the lounge; his hands clasped together politely. "We did everything we could," he began but stopped as soon as Amelia let out a loud sob. Her hand moved to cover her open mouth, her chin quivering and her body falling forward before Meredith reached an arm under her and pulled her up. She had no idea how much time passed until the other surgeons left in a blur of colors and absurdly loud noise and until Maggie ran into the lounge, joining her sisters in a hug.
"Amelia, you should go say goodbye," Maggie whispered, brushing her sister's hair down in delicate patterns with her hand. "You can go see him."
"I don't think I can," she cried, standing up suddenly to run to the toilet. The sounds of heaving filled the small bathroom, and Meredith cringed, grabbing Amelia's hair back.
"We'll come with you. You'll regret it if you don't go to see him," Meredith helped her to stand, steadying her with a strong arm around her waist. They slowly trudged through the hospital's hallways and past the O.R. board, causing Amelia to let out another sob as she recognized the place they met.
Her feet stopped in the scrub room as she glanced through the glass pane, seeing the sheet covering the figure of the man she loved. Her hand reached for the chain around her neck, pulling her wedding band out and fiddling with it. Maggie placed a hand on her back, helping to push her towards the bed. "We'll be right here, Amelia," she comforted, watching as Amelia walked into the room.
The neurosurgeon sat down, pulling a stool over to the side of the bed. She grasped the edge of the sheet covering the body and slowly lifted it to reveal a familiar face missing the childish grin she'd loved for so long. A sob choked in her throat, and she gasped loudly, covering her heart with her hand as the other brushed through his long blonde hair he'd meant to get cut. "Link," she whispered, tracing her fingers down the side of his face, under his jawline, and back up to his eyelids. She yearned to see his blue eyes and the life they always held; the joy, calm, and the future she'd always looked into. "Oh my god," she wailed, a tear dripping onto the sheet covering his chest. Amelia laid her head down gently, sobbing as her ears searched for the beating of his heart fell asleep to each night, only to hear nothing, now.
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She woke up in a hospital room, cringing at the loud beeping of a heart monitor beside her. Her eyes fell to the weight against her arm, seeing her daughter curled into her body, contently making the soft snores she always did. "Hey," Meredith whispered, standing up from the couch in the dark room. "You passed out. Fell to the ground, and Maggie and I had to bring you here." She reached out for Amelia's hand and held it. "Koracick is gonna come by and give you a neuro check; you hit your head when you fell."
"Is it real?" Meredith raised her eyebrows in question. "Is he really gone?" She nodded, holding her sister's hand tighter as she cried.
"I'm so sorry, Amelia." The little girl's head lifted up at the sound of her mother's sobs, and Amelia looked to Meredith as if to ask if Charlotte knew. Meredith shook her head.
"Mommy?" Charlotte asked. "Why are you crying?" Amelia reached out to brush a stray piece of her daughter's blonde hair back, running her hand down the french braid Link had made for her this morning. She bit her lip as her fingers touched the pink rubber band holding the braid together, knowing that Link's hands had touched the same band just hours earlier.
He'd learned to braid as soon as they found out they were having a baby girl, practicing on almost any woman who would let him touch her hair. Soon, everyone in their family circle was wearing braids and paging Link whenever they wanted their hair braided to fit under a scrub cap.
"Mommy's just not feeling very well right now, Char," Meredith interrupted, dropping Amelia's hand and pulling her from her thoughts. "Let's get you back to daycare, okay?" The mother watched as her daughter waved goodbye, whispering a soft "Bye, mommy," before she was carried out of the room. Her gaze drifted to her hand, which had subconsciously grabbed her necklace and had been toying with her ring for some time, something she often did when she felt anxious. She unclipped the chain, holding it out in front of her eyes. Her eyes traced the engraved letters on the inside of the band, reading, "Till death do us part," a line they had chosen almost jokingly when picking out rings. She had made a sarcastic comment about how he likely wouldn't have to put up with her forever, as everyone around her died. Link had grinned and embraced her, whispering into her ear, "Till death do us part." Now, the line and memory felt like some twisted irony.
Amelia dropped the chain onto the table beside her and turned over, her body leaning backward as if she was expecting Link's firm chest to be behind her to lay against. She let out a shaky breath, adjusting the pillow under her head and closing her eyes tightly. "This is just a nightmare," she whispered. "Just a nightmare."
-----------------
People passed in and out of the hospital room, yet Amelia just stared blankly at the hospital wall. Teddy had visited and told her something about her own husband, who died under similar circumstances. Tom had stopped in to examine her, and she silently complied, not even hearing what he said after. Jo came in and sobbed out some story about when Link was planning to propose, which Amelia assumed was meant to comfort her, but she couldn't process what Jo was saying. Even Nico came by and dropped Link's wedding band on the table next to Amelia's necklace, letting her know that he had retrieved it for her before they took his body away. She appreciated it; he didn't try to tell her everything would be okay, give her some bittersweet story about Link, or mutter that he was sorry for her loss. "Can you stay?" She asked Nico as he moved to leave. "Just sit in here with me for a bit," her chin quivered, and Nico proceeded to sit on the couch. "How long has it been?"
"Seven hours and thirty-four minutes," he responded, the number coming out immediately. "I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like I'm sleepwalking." Amelia nodded her head in agreement, the tiniest smile creeping onto her lips.
"How long do you think I'm allowed to stay in this room and hide from everything?" Nico leaned forward, resting his elbows on his legs. "I'm just hoping that Meredith and Maggie are handling the kids. Not really being a good mother right now," she confessed, wiping her watery eyes.
"You get as long as you need. I'm sure they've got it figured out."
"I'm dreading seeing them. As terrible as that sounds," she shook her head. "Scout looks just like him. I already sobbed when I saw Charlotte's hair because he braided it this morning."
"Do they know yet?"
"No, I think Meredith is waiting for me to tell them." Amelia took a shaky breath. "I don't think I can do it. Raise them alone."
"You're not alone, Amelia." Her name sounded odd coming from his mouth; he'd almost exclusively referred to her as 'Shepherd' prior to this moment. She almost laughed at the sound of it. "I know we haven't ever been close or anything, but whatever I can do," he whispered.
"Thank you." She held her hand out, and Nico took it, letting his tears fall after she squeezed his hand lightly. "Thank you," she sniffled, beginning to cry again.
-----------------
Meredith pushed open the door and pulled the key out, holding it open for Amelia. The brunette gasped at the sight of their home, a nearly spotless house that definitely didn't look like that the day before. She assumed someone had stopped by and picked up as a courtesy, leaving a pile of his belongings on the table in the dining room. She walked towards the table and picked up his I.D. badge, staring at the photo from the past year.
Bailey had insisted on new badge photos for everyone after seeing quite a few images that no longer resembled the badge's owner, complaining about how nothing ever ran smoothly in the hospital. The day of the pictures was on Charlotte's third birthday, the same time that she had a stomach bug. They'd almost missed the takes and didn't have time to change out of their clothes. Amelia knew that right out of the view of the camera was a trace of vomit that had left everyone cringing. She smiled and set it down, her fingers trailing over the stitching of the bag she'd teased him for, calling it his man-purse. Her hands trembled as she lifted up one of his scrub caps, bringing it to her chest and exhaling out a sob.
"I can take care of all of this," Meredith whispered, placing a hand on Amelia's shoulder. "You should go talk to the kids." Amelia shook her head quickly.
"I can't do it, Mer."
"They need to hear it from you." She embraced Amelia before pointing towards the staircase that led to the children's rooms. The mother bit her lip and reached out for the railing, steadying herself on it. She saw them both sitting on Scout's bed, Charlotte holding her stuffed cat as Scout read her a chapter of one of his favorite books. Amelia paused in the doorway and simply observed them for a moment, not wanting to disrupt the peace she witnessed while simultaneously staring at her son's face, admiring his father's resemblance among his features. But she knew she had to tell them.
"Hey, guys," she greeted, walking into the room. Both of the children's faces lit up at the sight of their mother, and they jumped forward into her arms, relaying how much they had missed her. She felt a pang of guilt even though she had only stayed overnight at the hospital. "There's something I need to tell you guys," her voice sank, holding their hands. "Yesterday, after Daddy dropped you off at school," she looked at Scout, "there was a really bad accident. A car hit him, and Daddy got hurt."
"Can we bring him donuts?" Scout asked hopefully, knowing that was the family's go-to solution for any problem that occurred. Amelia bit her lips and shook her head as tears fell from her eyes.
"No, because Daddy got hurt really bad. And the doctors tried to make him better, but they couldn't save him." Scout and Charlotte were both silent as their mother burst into sobs. "But even if he's not here, I know that Daddy is watching over us and making sure that we're okay right now," she whispered, gripping their tiny hands tighter.
"Daddy died?" Scout asked, his voice shaking. Amelia moved her hand to cup his cheek and nodded sadly, brushing away a tear with her thumb.
"Yes, Daddy died yesterday." She pulled them both into a tight hug, the sounds of crying filling the room. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.
-----------------
Amelia stared blankly at the ceiling above her. The funeral was nice enough; everyone gave their condolences and apologized as if they could have done anything to prevent it. She'd barely retained anything that was said. The image of his body in the casket kept replaying in her mind, her daughter's cries sounding over and over again, and Scout's soft whisper to his father, asking him to come back home, all breaking her heart into tiny pieces. She turned her head to the empty space next to her, the indent of his head on the pillow he'd kept for far too long still visibly present. She shut her eyes tightly and tried to imagine him next to her, his bright smile and joyful eyes greeting her when she woke up, their kids joining them for morning cuddles before Link finally convinced everyone it was time to get ready.
She grasped at the chain around her neck, to which she had added Link's ring. It'd taken awfully long for some of their friends and family to leave after the service, but Meredith had been kind enough to usher everyone out once a few hours had passed. Amelia made a mental note to thank Meredith as soon as she could think straight.
Eventually, Amelia gathered the energy to get out of bed. She unzipped the back of her black dress, taking it off and throwing it on the floor in a moment of anger. It was one she had purchased years ago and never intended to use as a funeral dress. It came with a blue cardigan that had perfectly matched the blue tie Link wore to their coworker's wedding, and she didn't even end up wearing the actual dress to the wedding. She'd shoved the dress into a box in her closet, and she guessed that Meredith had dug it out sometime over the past few days. Her hands pulled Link's pajama drawer open, lifting up a pair of his flannel pajama pants and holding them up to her nose, and taking a deep breath. They smelled like him. The fabric was damp a moment later, and she realized she had been crying.
Maggie and Winston were in the kitchen, and Amelia could smell something sweet as she walked out, careful not to trip over the long pant legs of Link's clothes. Maggie looked surprised to see her sister come out of the bedroom and greeted her softly. "Hey," she whispered, pulling Amelia into a hug. "We're making cupcakes for the kids." Maggie glanced up and down, noting Amelia's attire. She smiled sympathetically.
"Where did Mer go?"
"She and Zola went to pick something up. They'll be back soon," Winston spoke, pouring batter into a pan. "Can I ask how you're feeling?" Amelia shrugged.
"Best I can be feeling right now." She sat down at the island, resting her head on her hands. "I don't know what to do, now." Maggie occupied the seat next to her.
"We're taking it one step at a time."
-----------------
They were never the people to purchase extravagant bouquets of flowers. So, she didn't feel like it was right to bring flowers to his grave and instead settled on the grass with a plastic container holding a donut. She figured if he was somehow watching or haunting her, he'd appreciate seeing her continue something that had become a tradition for them. "Hey," she tried, her voice wavering. Amelia felt uncomfortable as she spoke into the air, suddenly paranoid that someone was listening and judging her. She let out a breath. "I brought a donut. At first, I thought I'd get one for you and put it down, but then that just seemed like a bad idea and would probably attract some wild animals," she laughed, pulling her knees up to her chest.
"I miss you. And I know that's incredibly generic and probably meaningless, but I miss you. The longer it is, the more I remember little things that make me miss you and places in my life where there's now a hole." Her fingers drummed against the lid of the plastic box. "It's been a week. Which isn't really a long period of time when you put it in perspective, but this has probably been the longest week of my life," she confessed, glancing at the headstone. It was simple and awfully plain, but Amelia had a particular sort of admiration for it. The words, 'Husband, Father, Son,' were etched into the stone; the three words she knew had all been sources of pride for Link.
"I can't stay for too long. Partly because I'll end up sobbing if I do," she laughed, "but we also told Scout we'd get him ice cream. Maggie took him and Char to the playground nearby." Amelia had laughed when she first heard about the playground a block away from the cemetery, but now she understood the purpose of it. "Maggie and Winston keep looking at me like I'm going to fall apart. Which probably isn't too far off, but it makes me feel like a deer in headlights." She pulled the necklace out from under her shirt. "Meredith understands. She knows when to give me space and when I need a hug. I just wish you were here. It sounds ridiculous, but grieving your death would be so much easier with you by my side." She laughed at what she said a second later, shaking her head. "I mean like, you always know how to comfort me. Or, you always knew," she corrected. Amelia opened the container holding the glazed donut she'd purchased and lifted it to her mouth.
"I honestly haven't had much of an appetite. The one thing I've been wanting more than anything is to drink. But, I won't. I made Mer take all of the alcohol out of the house just to be safe," she brushed a piece of hair back and paused before continuing. "We had cupcakes yesterday, but then I remembered that you were buried in the ground a few hours later, and I ended up puking everywhere." She turned the donut in her hand. "Don't worry, Meredith made me take a pregnancy test. It was kind of funny, actually. She held back my hair while I was puking and then told me how she blamed her nausea on her grief when she was pregnant with Ellis. I made her go out and buy a bunch of tests, even those ones that can tell like a few days after conception—all negative. I'll probably take a few more in a week because now I'm super paranoid. I don't think I could go through a pregnancy without you here," she whispered, looking at the shine of the glaze on the donut.
"I'm gonna eat it, now. And you don't get to judge me," she spoke before shoving the whole donut in her mouth, quickly wiping away a bit of glaze left around her mouth. She giggled as she chewed, soon unable to discern if the sounds she was making were laughs or cries.
"I'm mad at you for dying. I'm really pissed off," she whimpered out, now realizing that she was crying. "But I'm glad I got to love you. And, I'm going to keep loving you, so if you're out there, you have to make sure to stay by me." Her phone buzzed beside her with a text from Maggie informing her that they were walking back. Amelia sighed. "Remember after Meredith woke up from COVID forever ago, and she told us all about the dead people she saw and how they were watching over her and could kind of push her to do something?" She paused as if waiting for a nod or hum from him. "You should figure out how to do that, or whatever. And maybe I'll know."
-----------------
Scout's birthday came sooner than Amelia could process. Thankfully, Meredith had reminded her and taken her to the mall to get presents a few days before. "Link wanted to get him a guitar for his birthday," she'd whispered as they walked past a music store. "I don't know anything about guitars." Meredith took her hand as tears fell down her sister's face and smiled at her.
"We'll go ask someone. I'm pretty sure he'll need a little guitar. That's a thing, right?" The worker directed them towards a wall of guitars, and Amelia was immediately overwhelmed. There were so many different choices, and she had no idea what she was looking for. Her eyes fell on a light brown guitar. There was nothing extraordinary about it, but it was like a magnet, and before she knew it, she was walking over to the guitar. She pulled it off the wall and smiled as if the feeling of it was right.
"This one," she murmured, bringing it over to the counter.
"Why?"
"Link told me to get this one. He did the dead person shove type of thing," she grinned confidently, forgetting the wave of grief she felt earlier.
-----------------
It just so happened that Scout's birthday fell on the one-month anniversary of Link's death. Amelia mused about how it was a good distraction, but it seemed to bite her in the ass that same night. Scout had a party with his friends, and the house was filled with happy children, occupying Amelia for a few hours. They'd made a tradition of having a smaller event after whatever birthday party was happening, just their family in Seattle.
"Okay, this one is from Auntie Mer," Amelia handed him a box, reaching over the mountain of torn wrapping paper in the living room. He opened it to pull out a stuffed bear, and Amelia's heart fell.
"It's a Daddy bear!" Scout shouted, holding it up in the air. The bear was wearing a bear-sized Mariners t-shirt and had one of Link's scrub caps tied tightly around its' soft head. Amelia choked out a sob at the sight, and Meredith wrapped her arms around Amelia from behind.
"I hope it's okay that I took one of the scrub caps; I just wanted Scout to have something," Meredith whispered over the sound of their family laughing, holding onto her sister tightly as she cried. Scout looked over at them, and concern flooded his features once he noticed his mother's upset.
"Momma," he spoke, walking over to her. "You can hold Daddy bear." Amelia pulled her son into her arms tightly.
"We made one for your Mommy too," Meredith added, pulling out another box. "It doesn't have a scrub cap, but I know you have a few." She opened the box and held out an identical bear. "And one for Charlotte. Everyone gets a Daddy bear." Amelia took the bear and brought it into her hug with Scout, holding her arm out for Charlotte to join. It soon turned into a family hug, with everyone in the room piling together and the neurosurgeon's sobs soon turning into laughs. After the moment passed, everyone pulled away, and Amelia was left to hug her bear.
"I have a bottle of his cologne in the room; we can make them smell like him," Amelia suggested while holding the stuffed animal close to her chest. She felt a gust of air brush up her arm in the way Link would comfort her so often, rubbing his fingers lightly up and down her skin to ground her. "You're gonna make me go insane imagining things," she whispered into the bear's head, still gripping it closely. "I love you."
-----------------
She sipped her mug of tea, pulling a blanket over her lap as a breeze hit. Charlotte was lying against her chest, her blonde hair flying in front of her face with her arms attempting to swat it away. "Here," Amelia spoke, placing her mug down. "I'll put it up."
"Braids!" Amelia grinned at her daughter's request, beginning to gather the mess of hair on the girl's head. Scout was sitting on the porch floorboards, strumming some non-sensical tune on his guitar with a binder of music in front of him.
8 months after her husband's death, and Amelia still wouldn't say that she was okay. And, she was beginning to learn that it's okay to not be okay. It was moments like this where part of her just wanted to cry at the thought of him missing them, seeing their son learn to play the guitar as their daughter begged for the braids he always put in her hair. Each holiday, birthday, anniversary, and memorable moment caused floods of grief to pass over the mother.
She finished braiding and tied a yellow rubber band around the girl's hair, pulling Charlotte into a tight hug and ignoring the blur of her vision as tears pooled in the corners of her eyes. Link had always told her how their daughter was exactly like her, but over the past few months, Amelia had noticed how much she resembled her father. Sure, Charlotte definitely looked the same as Amelia did when she was young, but she had her father's dirty blonde hair and his endlessly caring personality.
Charlotte laid her head back against her mother's body. "I miss Daddy," she whispered, her tiny blue eyes watching Scout adjust his fingers in concentration. Amelia kissed her daughter's head.
"I miss Daddy, too, Char."
-----------------
One year. One year ago, Amelia woke up with a feeling. Something that told her not to get out of bed or go to work, a sense that she ignored. She often wondered what would've happened had she stayed at home that day, convinced Link to join her in bed and call their son out sick from school to spend the day as a family. She learned not to let that guilt overcome her. Amelia flipped over in bed to the space her husband once slept in, the indent of his head on the pillow no longer visible. Over time, she'd felt herself losing small pieces of him, something she knew was inevitable but knowing that didn't make it sting any less.
"Momma," the door pushed open, and Charlotte walked through, her teddy bear under her arm. "Cuddles?" Amelia grinned widely and held the blanket open for the girl to join her. Another part of Link she saw in their daughter, her ability to tell when her mother needed her.
The door opened again shortly after, and Scout walked through. He eagerly jumped up onto the bed and rolled onto the other side of his mother, settling under her arm. "Do I have to go to school today?"
"Nope. I already called them and told them you would both be out today," she responded, placing a kiss on the top of her son's head. "I thought that we could spend the day cuddling together and watching movies." Scout sat up quickly.
"We're gonna watch Cars!" The mother watched as her son scrambled out of bed and ran into the hallway quickly. She turned her gaze to her daughter.
"Let's go cuddle on the couch and watch Netflix. I'll tell Scout to let you pick the next movie," Amelia grinned, scooping the girl up into her arms.
"My Daddy bear!" Charlotte pointed down and the bear on the bed. The mother tilted her downwards so she could reach it. "Daddy bear has to come with."
"Of course," Amelia smiled, carrying her daughter into the living room and tossing her on the couch. The three of them settled under a pile of blankets, their eyes all gravitating to the screen in front of them, but Amelia wasn't sure if any of them were truly paying attention. She glanced down at her daughter, who was holding her bear tightly against her chest. Her eyes drifted to the mantle below the T.V., scanning the rows of mismatched frames and photos of their family over the past years.
"Are you thinking about Daddy?" Scout asked, following his mother's gaze. She looked down and him and smiled sadly, nodding her head.
"Of course. It's hard not to think about him today," she kissed the boy's head and pulled him closer.
"I think that Daddy is taking care of us. Like how Auntie Mer said that Uncle Derek would watch us," Scout whispered, fiddling with a loose strand on the blanket.
"I think so too, Scout." The boy sighed and snuggled down further into the couch.
-----------------
Hours passed, and the kids were sprawled across the couch, sleeping contently as Scout mumbled quietly in his sleep. Amelia carefully removed herself to not disturb them, taking her empty mug to the sink and rinsing it out. Her fingers drummed against the edge of the sink, and she looked out of the small window above the counters. The sun was unusually bright for a day in March, causing the silver jewelry on her neck to reflect the light onto the wall. She smiled and reached down, pulling the chain out.
She imagined him standing behind her, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist and his head resting on her shoulder. He'd brush back the strand of hair framing her face and whisper into her ear how he loved her.
Amelia opened the window and smiled at the gust of wind that came through, sending goosebumps up her arms. "I miss you," she whispered, tracing her fingers up her arm to her shoulder.
Another gust of wind brushed up her arm, and she grinned to herself. "You're gonna make me go insane," a laugh fell from her mouth.
"Mommy?" She turned to see Scout rubbing his eyes tiredly and kneeled to his level. "I need a hug," Scout confessed, walking into his mother's arms.
"What's wrong?"
"I miss Daddy." She embraced him tighter and sighed.
"Daddy's here with us. Always."
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imaginesandinserts · 4 years
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Irreverent Pt. 28 - Defy
Title: Irreverent Pt. 28 - Defy Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader Rating: R Words: 1690
Irreverent Series Masterlist
You were making lunch for yourself, Hotch, and Jack when you heard the doorbell ring. Hotch looked at you and you nodded at him to get the door. You can vaguely hear him grabbing the door and talking to someone briefly before you hear a voice you haven't heard in years.
"Y/N, you should answer the door to your own home yourself. It's impolite to ask guests to answer for you."
You felt your stomach clench at the familiar nagging voice.
Hotch was standing in your living room with your Mother. She stood in front of him, deftly removing her gloves and giving you her patented look of disdain. What on earth was she doing here? You hadn't seen your mother since graduation. Once you'd stopped attending the mandatory family events she never once reached out or came by. Your father had tried, but she never cared. So the fact that she was standing in your living room was causing your brain to go into hyperactive mode.
"Mother," you swallowed, walking out from the kitchen and into the living room. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"Well, if you would answer your phone calls, I wouldn't have to come here in person." She sniffed and proceeded to walk around your living room and take a seat on the couch. You looked at Hotch and he shot you a quick reassuring smile.
Taking a deep breath, you tried to calm yourself instead of freaking out that she was here. "Mother, this is my friend - coworker - Aaron Hotchner," you tell her, indicating towards Hotch. "Hotch, as you might have gathered, this is my mother." The pained smile on your face does not escape his notice.
But Hotch is ever so polite.  His presence is the only thing keeping you from being rude and asking her to simply leave. "It's nice to meet you, Mrs. L/N." He smiles and she returns it with a haughty look, still surveying your home.
Right then, Jack comes running in and bumps into your legs. You quickly kneel down to his height. "Hey, you okay? What's up?"
"Y/N, where are the paints?" He asks, as he looks around at his father and notices the stranger sitting on the couch.
"They should be in your room Bud. Check in the drawers." You're very aware of the fact that your mother is watching you interact with a child that is very obviously not your child, who just so happens to have a room in your house. You hated that she was here and able to get a glimpse into your life. A life she had no right to be a part of.
He nods. You turn back up to see her looking at you expectantly. "Mother, this is Jack."
"My son," Hotch interjects, sensing your unease. "Jack, please say hello to Y/N's mother, Mrs. L/N," he prompts.
"Hello Mrs. L/N, it's nice to meet you," you hear Jack say precociously. His father taught him well. "Y/N," he says next, turning back to you, "can I go look upstairs for the paints?"
"Yeah, of course. If you can't find that, let me know and I'll come help." You quickly smile and run a hand through Jack's hair before he turns and runs back upstairs.
Turning your attention back to your mother, you see the shock evident in her face. She was not expecting this when she walked arrived at your door today. This bizarre picture of domesticity that you painted with Hotch and Jack. It was foreign to her.
You wanted her gone, so you asked Hotch to man the stove while you spoke with your mother. He nodded and touched your arm reassuringly before retreating to the kitchen.
Hotch watched as you walked over to the armchair nearest to your mother's spot on the couch and lowered yourself into it. He had his eyes on the stove but his ears were pointed to the living room. Everything he knew about this woman had his guard up.
"Mother, why are you here?" Your voice was softer, more hesitant.
"This is a very interesting setup you've built for yourself. Setting up house with an older man and his child."
"Hotch is a friend, Mother," you reminded her.
"Hm, a friend whose child has a room of his own in your home. Do you think I'm stupid, Y/N?" Her low voice is filled with poison as she speaks to you. "If you had simply married Matthew, you could have had this for yourself instead of stealing someone else's."
Her words caused your heart to ache. She thought you were having some sort of dirty affair with Hotch. You could feel the pin pricks of tears in your eyes accompanied by pure rage but she was the last person you'd ever allow to see you cry. How dare she barge into your home, accuse you of stealing someone's husband, and then remind you of a relationship that you were all too eager to forget forever?
However, you controlled your reaction, knowing that Hotch was still there and didn't need another terrifying view into your awful family. You asked her again, "What are you doing here?"
"I refuse to go through lawyers to get what is rightfully mine. You'd think after being married to the man for years, I wouldn't have to suffer this disgrace!" She was referring to the fact that your father's will had you and your brothers named as the primary beneficiaries of his estate. Your mother was given a small annual allowance, far less than was needed to maintain her lifestyle. You'd wanted very little to do with the matter, however with Dominic in WITSEC still and Julian no longer around, you were the person set to inherit everything. You'd already put aside half for Dominic and were working with the Marshalls to make sure he and his family would be alright. Your Mother - per your lawyer - had been harassing him and your father's lawyers ever since. You wanted to just give her what she asked for, but your lawyer was advising against it as her demands were getting increasingly outlandish. He'd have a field day when you told him about this.
You were determined to keep this as civil as possible still, however. "As you've been told before, I will be going through our lawyers to arrive at a decision we can both live with. I am doing my best to make sure that you are taken care of, however I will not simply hand over everything. Papa was not a good man and I'd like for his money to be used for some good at least."
Her eyes flashed at your words and you knew she was entering into the state where she said anything she wanted. "I will not stand by while you squander all the money on whatever ridiculous cause you've picked up this week. The only good thing you ever did was agree to marry Matthew - he would have taken care of you and I wouldn't have to see the day where you think you're better than us because you're a middling police officer instead of being someone I could proudly point to as my daughter. You have been a disappointment for years now and this whole act you have of being kind and generous and wanting to do good in the world is disgustingly transparent! You even ruined the Matthew thing despite him being so accepting and understanding of your deficiencies - "
"Do not talk to her that way." You turned to see Hotch suddenly standing behind you. He looked completely pissed off in a way you hadn't seen before. "Y/N is amazing and kind and generous and accomplished and everything she has achieved is a credit to her and her alone. She did everything in spite of you and your husband."
You couldn't believe he was standing in your living room and telling off your mother that way. Does he really think that? It's Hotch, of course he does. You could feel the warmth coursing through your body and his presence emboldened you.
Standing, you turned to your mother who still sat on the couch, dazed at being called out. "Mother, please leave. I never wish to see you again. I will do my very best to ensure that you get what you need, but if you ever show up around me again, I'll make sure you get nothing."
Your voice must have been filled with true conviction, because she went from looking dazed to enraged in a moment. However, she must have taken your threat seriously. She stood and looked between you and Hotch, before she said, "Fine." and then proceeded to walk out the door, slamming it behind her.
You looked back at Hotch who now only seemed completely concerned. He reached towards you and you allowed yourself to be pulled into his chest. "Thank you." Your words were muffled against his chest but he heard you nonetheless. You wanted this moment to last forever. So, of course the fire alarm went off.
You watched as Hotch went to go take care of the pan you'd both forgotten on the stove. Lunch would be delayed. You watched as he deftly cleaned up and then began to chop vegetables again so you could start over. You always felt safe and taken care of with Hotch. Even in the field, being partnered with him gave you a sense of security despite how worried you'd get when he threw himself in the path of an Unsub. He was such a good leader and such a good friend and he was always warm and of course everyone else thought he was grumpy but you'd never understood that. He was funny and attractive. He was in control and he was so smart - he always saw the full picture of the profile faster than anyone else. You admired his uncanny ability to be a good boss and then turn around and be a good father to Jack.
I love him.
No thought had ever been clearer in your mind.
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detective-giggles · 3 years
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Forgotten Love
Alright, apparently this is my brand, submitting bingo fics with less than 10 minutes until the deadline.  This fic covers the “Love Letters” square in thatesqcrush’s “Love You Love You Not” bingo.  Barisi.
Word count: 2k+.
Warnings: a few naughty words. Unbeta’d. And, be warned, this is an amnesia fic. Also, I’m not a doctor and I don’t play one on tv- any inaccuracies are mine. I googled basic amnesia info, but let’s face it, the tv version of amnesia we see is much better than the real-life version.
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Sonny unlocked the front door and pushed it open. “Well, here we are,” he murmured comfortingly, “home, sweet, home.”
Rafael hesitated at the door. Sonny was incredibly patient, his hand near the small of Rafael’s back but not actually touching him, which he appreciated.  Rafael slowly stepped over the threshold into the apartment and Sonny followed close behind. Sonny shut the door, locking it behind them and paused, toeing off his shoes. Rafael followed suit and then looked around, his eyes taking in as many details as he could.
Sonny led him into the kitchen. “How about if I show you around, and then we can just rest before dinner?”
Rafael let out an amused snort at the thought of someone having to show him around his own apartment. He nodded slowly and followed Sonny as he pointed out all the important rooms. He made a few jokes, but Rafael couldn’t tell whether he was actually nervous or if he was just trying to put him at ease.
“And, the bedroom.”
Rafael looked around. His gaze lingered on the bed and then back to Sonny, who was watching him carefully. “I, uh, made up the bed in the guest room. I can sleep there until you’re more comfortable, or until you remember who I am.”
“You would do that for me?”
Sonny smiled, “of course. You’re my husband. There’s literally nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
“Thank you. That’s sweet, I think.”
“Of course. I’m gonna go get dinner started and I’d like to make your favorite if that’s okay?”
Rafael sat on the edge of the bed and shrugged. “You don’t have to go through all that trouble for me. Anything is fine, or we can pick something up?”
“It’s no trouble. I’ll come get you when it’s ready.” Sonny pointed out which dresser was his, and which side of the closet his things were in. “Get some rest, you’ve had a long couple of days.”
Rafael sighed and looked around the bedroom again. He wanted to find something more comfortable to sleep in, but he felt weird going through the drawers, even though he knew they were his.
The dresser, like the apartment, felt foreign to him. He couldn’t remember ever living here, even though he had seen enough evidence to the contrary. He anxiously fiddled with the wedding band on his finger, another puzzle piece that didn’t quite fit.
The doctors were optimistic that the memory loss would be only temporary, but it had been two days so far, and he was no closer to unlocking the secrets in his own head. Stressed and alone, Rafael curled up until he drifted off into a fitful sleep.
***
“Then what happened?” Rafael took another bite. Dinner was delicious, and after the crappy, under-seasoned hospital food, he hadn’t realized how hungry he was until he started eating. Sonny was carrying on the conversation, of course. Rafael had asked Sonny about their wedding, and apparently, it was quite the spectacle.
Sonny tossed his napkin on the table and leaned in, laughing, “so then her dog, Frannie, got loose and knocked over the cake. We bought a cake from the best bakery in Manhattan, and that darn dog was the only one to enjoy it.”
“Why was the dog at our wedding?”
Sonny stood and shrugged as he gathered their plates. “She’s family. And she loves you. I think it’s because you always have snacks for her. She’s not supposed to get people food, but she always manages to get her fill of pretzels when you’re around.”
“So because I give her illicit snacks, she felt it was okay to eat our wedding cake? Sounds fair.” Rafael leaned against the counter and watched as Sonny tucked the leftovers into the fridge and started washing the dishes. “So, what do we usually do? Is this a typical night for us?”
Sonny chuckled, “what? You watching me clean? Yes, pretty typical.”
“Huh? Oh, sorry. I guess I-“
“It’s okay. I was teasing. It’s kinda what we do.”
“Tease each other? Like children?”
“Well, it sounds weird when you put it that way.  But yes. You started it.”
“I started it?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re okay with this?”
Sonny grinned, “I love it.”
“Well, alright then. I’ll try to keep that in mind.”
Sonny finished the dishes quickly and disappeared for a few minutes as Rafael figured out his way around the kitchen, slowly, drying them and putting them away.
They sat and talked a little more and Sonny answered Rafael’s questions about his life. Their life. It was nearly midnight when Rafael retired for the evening, telling Sonny good night, and slipping into the bedroom, exhausted.
He turned and saw a small, square envelope on his pillow.  He sat down and opened the envelope, pulling out the handwritten note inside.
Rafael,
I’ve never told you this but I think I first fell in love with your laugh. We were at the bar with the squad and I told a joke. (In all honesty, I think you were laughing at me and not with me), but I didn’t care. It was a beautiful sound and I knew I wanted to hear it every day for the rest of my life.
All my love, 
S
Rafael smiled and carefully tucked the letter away in a dresser drawer before crawling into bed.
***
Days went by and Rafael was no closer to remembering anything about his life. He and Sonny had eased into a routine, they had hoped filling his days with familiar places and people would spark some memories, instead, it was only frustrating him.
Rafael and Sonny went for walks around the city in the morning and then joined family or close friends for lunch. His favorite, so far, was Rita, a friend from law school. She kept them way too late, telling them stories about their shenanigans at Harvard.
Afternoons were reserved for resting or a nap since Rafael found himself constantly exhausted. They made dinner together in the evenings, and Rafael was surprised to find he wasn’t half bad at this cooking thing. The food was good and they had fun making it and trying out new recipes. They relaxed together after dinner, usually on the couch with a movie.
Days turned into weeks but every so often, Rafael found a new letter from Sonny. Each one was handwritten like the first, describing another detail in their relationship.  Their first date. His proposal to Sonny. Their honeymoon to Italy. Some were pages long and others were short, only a few sentences, but Rafael poured over them all, reading and re-reading each one. 
It hurt Rafael’s heart to read them, he could only imagine how hard they were for Sonny to write, documenting the best moments of their lives for him, knowing he didn’t remember any of it and not knowing if he ever would. 
Frustrated, Rafael carefully bundled the letters and slipped them into the drawer. He headed down the hall and knocked on the door to the guest room, pushing the door open. “Sonny?”
“Hmmm?”
“Can I?”
“Yeah, yes of course.” Sonny shifted, leaving enough room for Rafael to climb into bed with him. “Come here, what’s wrong?”
“I just- your letters. We have so much history. Sonny, it’s been so long. What if I can’t…what if I don’t remember?”
“It’ll be okay, I promise. We’ve had some good times, Rafael, but we’ll figure it out. If you don’t have the old memories, we’ll just have to make new ones, is all.”
“But-”
“No buts. I’m not gonna give up yet. You’re remembering things, slowly, just give it some more time, okay?”
“Okay,” Rafael whispered. “I’m sorry, I’ll go to bed and stop freaking out.”
“You’re welcome to stay. Only if you want.”
Rafael nodded, “I’d like that. Thank you.”
“I love you, Rafi. I always have. I always will.”
***
Rafael rolled over restlessly, reaching for Sonny. His hand hit the sheets and he cracked open his eyes, realizing he was in bed alone. He blinked slowly, it wasn’t even eight am but he could smell coffee and bacon, and that pulled him out of bed despite the early hour. He grabbed his phone and squinted in confusion at the date: March 30th.
The older he got, the faster time seemed to fly, but this was ridiculous. Could the date on his phone be wrong? Was that even possible? He had been crazy busy, prepping for a big trial, but that wasn’t unusual. How had he managed to lose track of more than two weeks and let his anniversary sneak up on him like this?
He climbed out of bed and made his way down the hall and into the kitchen, hoping some caffeine would help.
“Good morning,” Sonny murmured as he cracked a couple of eggs into a skillet. “Happy Anniversary.”
Rafael grunted and moved past him, pouring himself a cup of coffee and downing half of it in a few large gulps. He leaned against the counter and refilled his mug, taking a couple of smaller sips.
“So, it really is our Anniversary? Weird.”
“It is. I know you don’t remember, and I promise I didn’t make any extravagant plans for us. I just thought we could stay here, I’ll make us a little dinner, maybe we could watch a movie.”
“I believe that’s what you said last year, and then proceeded to cook us a five-course meal.”
“Better than any restaurant in town. Wait wait, you remember our last anniversary?” Sonny turned, his head cocked to the side. He was trying not to be overly hopeful, he had told a lot of stories in the past few weeks, and he wasn’t sure that Rafael wasn’t just parroting back something Sonny had already told him.
Rafael sipped again and snorted. “Kinda hard to forget with you fucking me into the mattress every chance you got. Also, why do you think I wouldn’t remem- what? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Rafi. I- you...”
“What are you trying to say? Sonny, use your big boy words.”
“You. Holy shit, Rafi!” Sonny wrapped his arms around Rafael, pulling him into a hug and burying his face in Rafael’s neck.  “Oh my God, I’ve missed you.”
“I’m right here.”
Sonny sniffled, not even trying to hide the tears, and shook his head. “You were. Here. But... you weren’t. Rafael, there was an...incident at your office. You were hurt. Mostly minor injuries, except for…some pretty severe memory loss. You didn’t know who I was. I mean, you hardly knew who you were.” He ran his fingers through Rafael’s hair and leaned in, resting his forehead against Rafael’s.
“Sonny, I could never forget you.” He caught Sonny’s hand in his and turned, placing gentle kisses on his palm.
“You did, Rafi. It was the worst three weeks of my life. I was so scared. For you, for us.”
“I’m a little scared you’re gonna catch that pan on fire,” Rafael murmured. Sonny laughed and stepped back, pushing the pan off the burner and turned it off.
“So, you wanna go out for one last brunch, just the two of us before we tell everyone the good news?”
“Sounds great.”
“I’m gonna just hop in the shower and then we can go.” Sonny disappeared down the hall. Rafael followed shortly behind and as he entered the bedroom, he noticed a yellow piece of paper on the floor near Sonny’s jeans. It must have fallen out of his pocket. He unfolded it and recognized his own handwriting immediately. 
Sonny-
The past few weeks have been challenging, for us both, I assume. 
I don’t think I can ever explain how it feels to have a chunk of my life just…gone. To forget the people and the things who have played such an important part in my life and who have shaped me into the person I am. 
I don’t know what I would have done without your support. Thank you for being my friend, my rock, and my husband. You make me feel safe and loved, and you’ve been there when I needed you.
Apparently, I have managed to fall for you not only once, but twice, so if that’s not a sign we’re soulmates, I don’t know what is.
I don’t know what will happen. I can hope I’ll wake up in a week or a month and remember everything, but I do know, whatever happens, I want you by my side. For all of it. But if I don’t remember, I don’t want to wait to start making new memories. So consider this our (second) first “I love you”.
I love you to the moon and back,
Rafael
Taglist: @moderateshouting @itsjustmyfantasyroom @beccabarba @thatesqcrush
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tolkien-fics · 4 years
Text
Unexpected One
Word Count: 1,400
Pairing: Lindir x Reader
Trigger Warnings: Pregnancy, vomiting, morning sickness, anxiety
Plot: Shortly after marriage, Reader finds out they’re pregnant with Lindir’s child. It takes time to tell him. A drabble over the span of five days.
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Day 1
You awoke with a jolt, feeling your stomach clench painfully. It was like your muscles were tensing of their own accord. As soon as the nausea started, you dashed for the toilet proceeding to spew stomach acid and water.
When you were sure it wasn’t going to happen again, you washed your face with cold water and swilled your mouth out, ridding of the bitter taste.
Heading back to the chambers you shared with your husband, you wondered why you became sick. Elves don’t get sick, so why was you? As you thought it over, you didn’t seem to notice that Lindir was getting ready for the day, tying the laces of his pants and buttoning his tunic.
“Good morning, meleth nin.” He said as he brushed his hair and did a few braids. “I heard you being sick, are you well?”
“I am well, Lindir. Need not worry.” You reassured, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He smiled at the affection, placing his hand on yours. He gave it a soft kiss, looking up at you through his dark lashes.
“If it gets worse I am sure Lord Elrond would be happy to see to you. Do not leave it be, love.”
Stroking his cheek, you nodded in agreement. “I will not, dear. But go, you are needed. You do not want to be late.”
Day 2
Once again you was awakened by your stomach doing somersaults. It wasn't as bad as the morning before, but it didn't make it less uncomfortable.
Soon you began to dry heave, a hand instinctively covering your mouth. The retching disturbed Lindir, groaning as he sat up. "Y/n?"
You couldn't speak, only able to make a slight noise in-between the now painful gags. Lindir felt helpless to do anything, so he did the next best thing: Wrap an arm around your shoulders and pull you towards him, speaking soothing words in elvish.
"Here, have some water." He held out a glass to you when he was sure it had died down. You took it gratefully, slowly sipping.
"You should really see a healer today." Lindir's worried voice struck you. He was really concerned about you, and you didn't want to get him in a panic.
"I will." You agreed. "I will go as soon as I get dressed."
Lindir set off to Lord Elrond's office, while you made your way to the healing ward. Rivendell was quite big, you remembered when you first came here it was difficult to find your way. It came naturally the longer you stayed, and now you knew the corridors like the back of your hand.
You knocked on one of the doors, hearing a voice utter "Come in!". Setting foot in the room, an elleth acknowledged your presence at once.
"What can I do for you today?"
Day 3
Pregnant. Since the day before, the words kept repeating themselves in your mind. You was still in shock, never anticipating that a child would be conceived so soon after yours and Lindir's marriage. Of course you both spoke of having children, and wanted them at some point but you wasn't expecting it so soon.
"Y/n? Your mind seems troubled, what is the matter?" Arwen asked, resting her hand in her lap. You were both sat in the gardens under the warmth of the sun.
You exhaled, closing your eyes for a moment. "I cannot deny that I am anxious. Getting wed to the one I truly love was such an exciting event, one that I had dreamed of since childhood." Arwen listened to you intently, a smile gracing her features.
You continued, "Starting a family was also something I anticipated, both me and Lindir spoke of it before many times. But it is nerve inducing to have it happen so suddenly."
Arwen understood what you was saying, beaming at you. "You are with child? Oh Mellon, that is amazing news!"
She brought you in a hug, which you gladly returned. You couldn't help but laugh, sharing in your friend's joy.
"Thank you, Arwen. Though I am nervous. How do I tell him? I know he will be happy, but I can't just say 'I'm with child.'"
"Why not?" Arwen pulled away, "Lindir will be a wonderful father to your child. You know he will be pleased, there is no need to keep such important information from him." She advised kindly.
You nodded, "You're right. I just need to find the right moment."
Day 4
The moment didn't come that day, for Lindir was working all day and only returned at midnight. By then, you was asleep. Searching the grounds for him at lunch, you was determined to tell him no matter what. Lindir wasn't anywhere to be seen, but you took a guess where he was when you heard arguing coming from the library.
"That book does not go on that shelf!" You heard Erestor exclaim.
"Maybe you should start organizing the shelves properly! Here's a hint: Labeling with help!"
Was Lindir and Erestor really arguing?
You stepped into the room and saw the two elves at each other's throats. You made a sound in your throat that seemed to quiet them down.
"Meleth nin." Lindir breathed, coming to your side instantly. "Did you consult a healer?"
You took a few shaky breaths in and out, the confidence you had before now gone.
"Love? Are you well? Do you need to sit?" Lindir questioned.
"N-no. I am fine. I need to tell you something important."
Lindir nodded, looking back at Erestor who seemed occupied with sorting out the book as he muttered to himself. When he was satisfied the elf wasn't eavesdropping, you had his full attention once more.
"Love? What is it?"
The nerves had returned, so you chickened out at the last moment. Despite your anxiety, you smiled at him reassuringly.
"I love you dearly, Lindir. You are so busy with your work, I was thinking we could take a walk under the stars this evening."
Lindir chuckled breathlessly. "Is that all? You had me worried! Of course, I would love to walk with you and revel in your beauty." He kissed your forehead. "I must be going, but I will get permission from Lord Elrond to leave early this evening."
You kicked yourself mentally, but you smiled. "Until tonight, meleth nin."
"I know, I should have told him. I just couldn't!" You exclaimed, hands grasping the goblet of water. You sat in Arwen's chambers, watching the elleth's expressions as you told her about how you didn't have the nerve to tell your husband.
Arwen gave you a sympathetic look, "It must be hard to do. I can see how nervous you are about this new life, but he has to know eventually."
"I know. Tomorrow is definitely going to be the day. I just need to gather my bearings."
Day 5
"Lindir, may we speak?" You stood next to him on the balcony of your chambers, looking up at the full moon. Lindir came to your side with no hesitation, enveloping you in an embrace from behind.
"What is it that troubles you, my love?"
You leaned into his touch. "Do you remember when we spoke of our future, and we talked of children when we married?"
"I do." Lindir confirmed. "Do you still feel the same? We do not have to conceive a child right now."
"No, that isn't it." You broke away from the embrace so you could face him. "I went to the healer, I tried to tell you before but it was never the right time, or I lost my nerve." You trailed, Lindir was patient and listened.
"Well, I- we are expecting a child." You finally said.
Lindir breathed out, closing his eyes and burying his head in your shoulder. You laughed lightly and held him.
"Am I right to assume you are happy, meleth?"
"Of course!" Lindir lifted his head, his eyes full of tears. "I am elated!"
Without warning, he lifted you in his arms and spun you around. "We're going to be parents! I'm going to be an Adar! And you, Nana!"
You held onto him and laughed, allowing him to place you back down. "This is such a blessing."
Lindir kissed you, "The biggest blessing of all."
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coleyholts · 3 years
Text
The ER and the Operation
First off-Sorry I haven’t posted in a while.  For obvious reasons, this post took a lot of time to put into words that were relatable.  
Trigger Warning: Infant Injury.  This is by far the worst part of the entire ordeal.  I want the reader to know that none of this is exaggerated whatsoever, and it may be difficult to read.  What happened in the ER and trauma center that day has truly changed me.
The glass doors parted in front of me to reveal a line of people waiting to get checked in. This was the first time I cried. They all quickly waved me up ahead of them once they saw that I had an obviously unconscious, super pale, vomit covered infant in my arms.
The helplessness set in when I was required to sign in like everyone else.  It’s not like I expect special treatment, but my baby was dying and no one seemed to understand the urgency of the EMERGENCY.  There were no nurses coming out to receive a trauma patient. There was no alarm.  I stood there, alone, with my rapidly worsening baby, sobbing and screaming for help while dripping in her breakfast and lunch.  At this point, she would wake up and pass out again in a vicious cycle.  Over and over, I watched her light dim for what felt like an eternity. After what I would rationally estimate to be about seven minutes (48,369,526 years to a scared parent), they finally called us back.
Everyone was taking their time.  I wondered if they thought I was being dramatic.  Were they rolling their eyes and blaming my emotion on “New Parent Syndrome?”  They were.  I felt it.
It wasn’t until they FINALLY decided to run vitals that they discovered what I was trying to stress since I had entered the hospital.  My daughter had something way more serious going on than any of us expected.  We walked (very briskly) down the hall to get a better look at what was actually happening in her head.  The tech and nurse cloaked me in protective gear so that I could stay with her.  I gently stroked her toes (also known as de peets) as she woke up, cried in pain, and fell back into her trauma-induced sleep while they got all of the imagery they needed.
We were brought back to our room and had a brief moment alone.  I held her so tight while I kissed her face and alternated holding her feet and hands.  They were so cold.  A nurse rushed up to our door, looked at me and said, “make sure to keep her as upright as possible.”  
That’s when I knew there was a bleed in my baby’s head.
A team of nurses came in and told me that they were going to start an IV, which actually made me feel relieved to know she would be feeling better soon. This is when Daniel arrived, and being that he is the epitome of girl dad attitude, he understandably doesn’t like to watch her get stuck.  He stuck his head in the room and immediately backed out when they tried to start the line. Unfortunately, we found out very quickly that she had no blood in her limbs whatsoever.  
They stuck her over and over again just to find air bubbles, which means they were unable to administer any intravenous medication to replace fluids, relieve pain, stop her from fading in and out of consciousness, or do anything to prevent the blood pooling in Natasha’s skull.  They decided that her condition was serious enough that she needed a line no matter what it took, which I agreed, which meant that they were going to use a legitimate power tool to drill into her shins to run a line into her bones.  I consented and sobbed, knowing the pain my baby had already endured that day was going to be the start of much more, if she survived.
While this was going down, Daniel was right outside the door, unaware of the issues we were running into, he heard a nurse at the nurses’ station ordering a helicopter for an infant, and that the “family wasn’t aware yet.”  My husband is a strong, supportive man that is a fixer.  If he cannot fix a problem, he expresses himself with (verbal) anger.  He comes into the room and says very abruptly to the nurse, “You’re flying her out?! Why?!” to which the male nurse responded, “because there's something seriously wrong and it needs to be fixed.”  I saw him escalating with anxiety so I assured him that they were just having a little trouble getting the line in and he returned to the hallway to start the wait for the doctor who was going to tell us what the hell was actually happening to our baby.
When she arrived, the doctor came in with Daniel.  She told us that Natasha had fractured her skull, and along with potential brain damage and hemorrhage, we were also concerned about blood loss, as her supply was pooling in her head.  The only way to save her life was to get her to INOVA Children’s Hospital for an emergency surgery, on a helicopter that I was not allowed to accompany her on.
Alone with my baby and the nurses, I was so upset.  My sweet girl was in so much pain. I made eye contact with a nurse and while sobbing, begged her to please administer anything whatsoever to ease the headache and all of the needle sticks-not to mention the drill.  For the first time, someone heard me.  She RAN into the hall and managed to bring back Versed, which can be administered nasally to relax muscles and calm the patient.  I am given the same drug when I get my back injections, so I was relieved.  It also prevents the patient from remembering everything, when administered in proper dosage.  It helped Natasha’s discomfort immediately.  They gave her the numbing shots in her legs, and while she was dozing and truly unaware of my presence, I stepped into the hallway.
This was the first time since the CT scan that she wasn’t in my arms. This time was different.  We knew the severity of the injury and she was being cared for by the entire trauma team of 7+ people.  I took one step out of the room, one step to the left, and planted my butt on the wall and hands on my knees for stability while I hung my head in complete disbelief.  How could this happen?  I opened my eyes and saw my clothing, dripping in her vomit.  I can still smell the banana berry baby food she ate without hesitation two hours earlier.  I screamed and sobbed as my muscles locked up in my legs and chest, then I felt someone put their hands on me.
I was literally picked up and supported while I shakily stood, completely losing my mind over the guilt and hatred I felt for myself.  The drilling began and I let out a sound I didn’t know I could make, while I was held tighter than I’d ever been.  I pulled back, just for a second, to look into the eyes of my soulmate and all I could say was, “I’m so sorry.”  Daniel pulled me back in, kissed my face, wiped my tears (which really didn’t do anything considering they just kept coming, but the gesture was so kind), and proceeded to tell me that it wasn’t my fault, and that he loves me and he loves that I am his daughter’s mother.  In that moment, his anger subsided and he moved to a different headspace.  That small exchange is burned into my heart forever and I have never been so incredibly thankful to be his wife.
They helicopter team arrived and they were still unable to get a steady line going.  According to their transport regulations, a patient transported by air has to be hooked up to an IV as well as intubated.  Time was ticking and my baby was visibly fading.  While still in the hallway, we were met by some medical coordinator who was trying to arrange a ride for us while she was in the air.  I don’t know how he was able, but after insisting over and over, they let us go.  They finally put an IV in my baby’s forehead; there was no other way.  They were discreet and covered it but I know what an IV mark looks like after the fact.  They could not get her intubated and save her so that (very brave) helicopter team took a huge risk that ultimately got her to INOVA by deciding to take her anyway.  WE kissed her goodbye while sobbing and told her how much we loved her.  The thought of her dying in flight weighed on us heavily, so we took off as soon as they wheeled her out.
The ride there was crazy.  I had no thoughts and all the thoughts going through my head.  My heart was nauseous.  I set a quick group text to my immediate family.  We saw the helicopter fly over us and it was a sigh of relief-knowing we were FLYING down the highway but she would be there faster.
We pulled up to the ER/Trauma Center.  I got out and ran in.  All I could get out was “Natasha” until they asked my relation and I somehow got out, “my baby...”  They valeted the car so Daniel could be with us.  They were rushing to get her into surgery.  They brought us into the trauma room (families usually aren’t permitted there but there was no time) and pulled up some waiver and permission forms.  They briefly explained the surgery, we signed, then it was GO TIME.
We stepped out of the room as the table with my baby strapped to it-full of wires and tubes-flew out of the trauma room.  The anesthesiologist made brief eye contact with me, halted the team, and said, “Let her kiss her baby.”  He knew she could easily not make it through this surgery.  Daniel kissed her and loved her for a few seconds and backed away with teary eyes.  I laid my forehead against her cheek.  I sobbed and screamed.  I kissed her over and over as my tears soaked us.  I told her I was so so sorry and that I loved her so much.  I wished it was me.
They took her away then.  The team saw my raw sorrow.  I got a very quick but kind pat on the back and they took off.
We were met by a social worker who brought us to a private room where we could chat and have some water.  Of course, we were asked all the suspected child abuse questions, but they got the idea pretty quickly that this was a freak accident.
After the interview, we were brought to a huge waiting room that must have been filled with 100+ seats.  We found a spot and the social worker left us.  We sat for a moment, touching hands.  They we both had to cry, then stand, then pace... The wait took forever, even more so not knowing if she was even going to live.
My brother, Jason works out that way and asked us if we needed anything right at that moment.  I was wearing a paper shirt provided by a nurse, so we gave him a small list and he stopped by.  He and Daniel stepped out for some fresh air while I sat breathing deeply and trying not to worry myself into another panic episode.  Then, an actual angel emerged from the hospital doors.
Dr. Leon Moores, a pediatric neurosurgeon at Pediatric Specialists of Virginia performed the emergency surgery.  I called for Daniel as Dr. Moores hugged me so tightly.  I didn’t know if this was a good or bad hug yet.
Daniel and Jason walked (ran) back in and sat with us to hear the outcome.  He told us that he was able to remove a blood clot the size of his fist from Natsha’s skull and that her vitals were wonderful.  So she had 100% survived the surgery.  Next was about brain damage, and by some miracle, her brain remained unharmed.  Dr. Moores saved my baby.
While they were getting her settled into the PICU, Jason took us to Target to get some clothes and snacks.  We had no idea how long this journey was going to be.  We got back to the hospital, gave gigantic hugs, and went up to see our baby as she woke up.
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