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halsteadlover · 1 year

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My Warrior

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Pregnant!Reader.

• Requested by anon: Hello! I was wondering if you could do a Jay x pregnant!Reader where she's like in labor but has some complications and almost dies but at the end she is saved ? And Jay is al worried but then he becomes a softy with her being happy 'bout having his daughter/son with them? Angs/fluff, just do it if you want to, if not s'okay.

• Warnings: mention of blood, birth, tiny bit of swearing.

• Word count: 3951.

• A/N: first of all I want to apologize for any grammar error and I’m aware that medically speaking there will be many mistakes but I was too lazy to search it up so bear with me 💀 I hope you’ll like it anyways, comment, like and reblog if you want, it’d be amazing. Thank you for everything and your constant support. I love you all, my inbox is always open if you want to even just talk ❤️

“Jay I think my water just broke.”

From the moment these words came out of your mouth panic set in and if the contractions weren't so painful, you probably would have laughed at the way Jay was running back and forth around the house looking for the bag he had preemptively packed weeks and weeks before.

“Baby where's the bag? Did you see it? I swear I left it here in the bedroom… Oh my god, oh god…” he kept rambling, opening every closet door, even checking under the bed and behind the door.

You approached him just as the contractions stopped and grabbed his arm. “Baby just take it easy, everything will be fine.”

He nodded and took deep breaths as you did so, while you tried not to chuckle. “Okay, okay, I'm fine. Everything will be fine. I’m sorry love, I should be calming you now, how are you feeling now?”.

At the exact moment those words left his lips, a rather intense and painful contraction made you lean forward, your hand squeezing Jay's arm tightly.

“Oh fuck…” you mumbled, eyes closed in pain.

“We’re going to Med's baby, okay? It's okay, it's okay,” Jay whispered, patting your back in comfort but worried sick. He tried to stay as calm as possible, not to go crazy even though he was a complete mess. He couldn't let his emotions get the better of him, you were about to give birth to his child and besides the excruciating pain of the contractions you didn't need to deal with his nervousness.

They prepared you for the childbirth’s pain, how intense the contractions would be, but no pre-natal course, manual or blog would ever really prepare you for how much pain you would have to go through. Your screams echoed throughout the room and you kept praying to God that all that pain would end soon, you just wanted to hug your baby.

Jay never left your side for even a second nor did his hand ever leave yours. He was sitting next to you, you squeezing his hand while he caressed your back even though he figured that gesture didn't help. His stomach was twisted with anxiety, he could hardly believe he was about to finally hug his son, his baby, he couldn’t believe you were about to become a family.

“Please make it stop,” you cried desperately, writhing in the bed.

“I'm so sorry baby, I'd take all your pain if I could,” Jay replied and he meant every single word. He would really rather suffer and take all your pain than see you suffer like that. He hated you were in such an intense pain and he just couldn't do anything to make you better, he hated feeling so useless as he heard the love of his life scream in pain.

“I hate you so fucking much Jay…” you screamed “I swear you’ll never touch me with a fucking finger again!”.

“I know love, it's my fault,” he tried to humor you, stroking your hair.

“And don't say that just to make me happy! I'm not fucking stupid!” anger took over “Stupid fucking men, you have sex, come inside us and we have to suffer like this!”.

Jay tried not to laugh, biting the inside of his cheeks or he knew he’d most likely get killed. He wanted to suffer with you but he cared about his life.

The rest of Jay's team, along with his brother who had been on duty up until then, arrived a couple of hours into your labor but they figured it might not be the time to go in there all together given the way you kept cursing jay and the whole world.

“Okay Y/N here we go. Are you ready to hug your baby?” your gynecologist asked, checking the dilation of your cervix and realizing you were now ready to push.

You nodded and thought it was also time, since you had been in labor for more than twelve hours.

“Is the dad okay? He looks like he saw a ghost,” the gynecologist laughed, noting the pallor of Jay's skin.

“I'm fine, I'm fine, it's finally happening,” he murmured, more to himself than to anyone else.

“Please don't leave me,” you begged, eyes filled with tears and your hand clasped over his.

He kissed your forehead. “I won't leave you baby, don't even say that as a joke. Man, we're about to be parents.”

You nodded smiling through tears. “I'm sorry I told you I hate you, it's not true baby, I love you so much.”

“I know baby, I know,” he kissed your forehead again “I love you so much too.”

Your doctor smiled as she saw the love between you and Jay, the way you looked at each other, the way he kept holding you and comforting you.

Under indication of the doctor, you started to push as you kept thinking you had to hold on, to resist for your baby that you so wanted to hold in your arms, for the little creature you were about to give birth. But you were so exhausted, so damn tired, you didn't know if you'd make it, if you'd hold on much longer.

“Okay now stop pushing, take some deep breaths Y/N, you're doing great,” your gynecologist spoke, and you leaned exhausted into Jay's arms.

“I'm so proud of you baby, so damn proud, I could never do what you're doing,” Jay whispered, kissing your sweaty forehead. He stroked your face, brushing the sticky hair from your forehead and squeezing you like he never did before.

“I can't take it anymore Jay, I'm so tired… I can't take it…” you cried, powerless. Damn it, you never imagined childbirth was such a tiring and exhausting experience.

“Of course you can darling, you're so strong…” he whispered into your ear, kissing your cheek “You're my little warrior. I know you're tired, I know, but you'll rest soon love, one last effort and we can hug our baby okay? Take some deep breaths, can you do it for me baby?”.

You nodded, starting to take deep breaths with him.

When it came time to push again, you really thought you were going to die, a searing pain that felt like it was cutting you in two.

“Very good Y/N, you are amazing, I can see your baby’s little head, we are almost there!” the gynecologist exclaimed “A couple more pushes.”

“You're doing so well baby, I'm so proud of you, one last effort,” Jay said, staring straight ahead as he tried not to pass out at the imagine of the baby’s head coming from inside you.

There was a moment you stopped breathing when your baby was born, the moment you were waiting to hear his cry, which felt like an eternity. It was as if you began to live again when the sound of his crying echoed through the room and you never felt so relieved.

The emotion you felt the moment you first hugged him up was indescribable, a moment that would be etched in your mind for your entire life. You couldn't believe you were finally able to hold him, that he was right there in front of you, healthy and so handsome.

“Our baby,” you whispered, staring at him in awe before returning your eyes to your husband, who, on the other hand, was a walking disaster. He cried all the tears in his system, tears he didn't even know he had and he hadn't felt like this since he saw you walking down the aisle when he was about to marry you.

“Our baby,” he cried, pressing his lips against yours trying to express in that kiss all his gratitude towards you, for giving him the family he had always wanted, a healthy and beautiful son, the love he felt for you.

Jay held you close, his eyes filled with love as he watched the little creature in your arms.

When it was his turn to pick him up he didn't deny he was nervous. He disinfected his hands over and over again, making sure to keep them clean and asking the nurse over and over for reassurance about how he was doing. Of course, he had taken other children in his arms but never so small and his son was so small and fragile he was afraid of accidentally hurting him.

“Hi baby,” Jay greeted his son, who was now stretching in his arms. “You are so handsome buddy, wow, you are definitely a Halstead.”

That comment made you chuckle even though you still felt very weak. You kept watching Jay cuddle your baby in silence until suddenly you broke into a cold sweat.

You brought a hand to your chest, your heart beating so fast it felt like it was about to stop at any moment. You could feel the shortness of breath, your chest rose and fell quickly in an attempt to fill your lungs with air but failing miserably.

Sharp pains ran through your uterus and you couldn't explain why. You were sure what was happening wasn’t normal.

“Jay…” you called him, but your voice was too soft for anyone to hear.

“Y/N? Are you okay? Hey!” Will exclaimed as he looked back at you and noticing the way you were breathing heavily and writhing on the bed. Jay immediately turned to you and his heart nearly stopped in his chest as he saw the state you were in.

Will immediately called for help and nurses quickly arrived, picking up the newborn as Jay was no longer able to hold him.

“What the fuck is going on?! Y/N! Baby!” exclaimed Jay, approaching you but a nurse prevented him, trying to keep him at bay. “Let me go! She's wife! What the hell is going on?!” Jay kept exclaiming loudly.

Will had placed an oxygen mask over your face to help you breathe and his eyes widened as he noticed the huge pool of blood at your belly.

“Call the OR immediately and warn Rhodes we're on our way!” Will ordered under the gaze of his brother who continued to yell at the nurse who prevented him from approaching you.

“Where is my baby?” you whispered, feeling increasingly weak and powerless.

“He's fine, he's safe,” Will reassured you.

“Jay?”.

“I'm here baby, I'm here, it's okay, just hold on for me,” Jay replied quickly and god the relief you felt to hear his voice.

Jay pushed the nurse away, almost making him fall, and ran to your bedside, immediately taking your hand and stroking your hair. “Everything will be fine baby, you'll be fine, don't you dare play tricks on me, you understand me?”.

You wanted to answer but your voice didn’t come out. The lights began to dim, the sounds and noises distant, as you began to drift into shadows and darkness.

“Y/N? Baby? Y/N!” Jay exclaimed in despair when he realized you passed out, no longer responding to any stimulus.

“Jay we need to go to the OR immediately, there's no time to waste,” Will warned after checking your pulse and realizing it was there but it was rather weak. Jay reluctantly let go of your hand and in a hurry they carried you and your bed into the operating room.

Jay walked out of the room, his eyes following you, desperate and in tears.

“Jay what is going on? Where are they taking her?” Kim asked urgently, approaching with the rest of the team when they noticed the commotion that had arisen.

“I…I…” he stammered tearfully, having no idea what the hell had just happened. He was in shock and his mind kept racing on possible scenarios.

“Jay, man, it's okay, take a deep breath,” Kevin walked over to him placing his hands on his shoulders. “What happened?”.

“They're taking her to the OR… She was fine and then she started bleeding… I… I didn't even realize she was feeling bad…” he cried, as the image of you immersed in a puddle of your own blood gasping for air gripped his mind.

“Will! Where is she? Is she okay?”.

Jay was in the waiting room with the rest of the team supporting him. Will joined him, his heart in a vise as he saw the state of anxiety and concern his brother was in.

“Rhodes is still operating her, she lost too much blood but they gave her transfusions and managed to stabilize her,” Will explained “She went into cardiac arrest but they managed to revive her.”

“What? Cardiac arrest?” Jay asked shocked. It couldn't be true, it must all be a nightmare.

How was it possible that you had just given birth to your baby and were now in the operating room fighting for your life.

“Due to the copious bleeding, her blood pressure was very low and the values plummeted. But she's stable now Jay, do you hear me? They pinpointed the source of the bleeding and stopped it.”

“But what happened? Why did she start bleeding? I swear if it was the gynecologist's fault I'll kill that bitch!” Jay exclaimed angrily.

“No Jay, it's not her fault, no one could’ve predicted it, there was a laceration of the birth canal, it's a complication that unfortunately can happen.”

Jay ran his hands over his face in frustration, feeling distract by everything that was going on. He pulled away feeling suddenly overwhelmed by events, as if he was losing every ounce of strength.

“Jay, listen to me brother,” Will joined him then placing a hand on his shoulder “Y/N is strong, she'll make it, you know she's in good hands. How about I walk you to the maternity ward to go meet little Halstead and I’ll go back to the OR? I will update you on everything that happens.”

Jay felt terribly guilty about what had happened because he felt like he had abandoned his son when he needed him instead.

“Hey little man” Jay whispered after picking up his son “I am so sorry I disappeared so suddenly but mum has been feeling unwell and I wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

He tried to hold back the tears, still praying with every fiber of his being for your recovery.

“She'll be fine I'm sure, your uncle Will is with her now and he'll be back soon okay?” he kept cradling his baby gently in his arms, never taking his eyes off him for even a second.

“You and mom are my life you know that right? The best thing that ever happened to me, seriously buddy I don't know how I would’ve ended if I hadn't met your mum,” he spoke, as if little Halstead could understand him “I still remember when I first met her: it was a rather particular first meeting because it was when in a moment of distraction, at a traffic light, she rear-ended me with the car. She's always been so clumsy, I hope you don't get that from her,” he chuckled “Anyway, she had rear-ended me, she got out of the car and started apologizing furiously, wrote her name and number on a piece of paper telling me she would pay every cent of the damage. I wasn't even mad, God, she was so beautiful, the way she babbled and stuttered, I think I was captivated by her from the start. I didn't care about my car, I just wanted to see her again and that's why I called her back the next day with the excuse of an agreement. I asked her out that same day and well… the rest is history,” he smiled as his mind replayed the memories of your first date, of the first moments you spent together, “I understood right away I was going to marry that woman, that I would’ve never been able to even look at another person who wasn't her. I don't know what she did to me, but dear god, I still love her like I did many years ago and now you're here little one… Shit, I don't think I could be happier than this…”

He took a moment to look at his son, to admire the creature you and him created together..

When he met you never in his life he would’ve thought of loving someone as much as he loved you, he thought his heart would not have been able to welcome another love but, God, seeing that little angel in his arms, his son, he felt completely overwhelmed by the love that little boy only a few hours old had made him feel.

“I already love you so much buddy, more than anything in the world and I swear I will give my life to protect you and your mommy, to keep you safe from this sometimes so cruel world,” he whispered “Don't say mom I said a bad word in front of you or she'll kill me,” he giggled, sniffling as he continued to cry. “You know, you're so lucky to have a mom like her. She is the kindest, purest, most selfless person I've ever met in my life, and I already know she’ll give all of herself to make you happy. It will be a bit tough, I won't deny it, there will be misunderstandings and I ask your forgiveness for when this will happen. Parents aren't perfect, damn little man, mine were the furthest thing from perfect, but never forget we love you more than our own lives, that nothing will ever be more important than you, and that everything we do, even if you disagree with us, will be for your good. I promise I’ll try so hard to be the father that mine wasn’t for me and I’m sorry for when I’ll be wrong, I hope you’ll be able to understand my love.”

“Oh my baby I need your mom so much now…” he continued in a sigh that ended in a sob. He felt a void so deep and painful, a void only you could fill. Jay couldn't exist in a world where you weren't in, a world where he was supposed to get up in the morning and you weren't lying asleep next to him. You were the only person in the world who really knew him, who knew his secrets, his deepest fears, you were the only person who made him happy, who could understand his moods with just a glance, the only one who could pick up his pieces and put them back together when the world seemed to tear him apart.

Jay spent the next two hours with his son, feeding him with the nurses’ help while Will updated him every twenty minutes on the progress of your surgery.

“Jay,” Will called back to his brother who was sitting next to his son’s crib, “The surgery is over, everything went well.”

Jay almost had a heart attack with joy, and taken by the impetus of the moment he ran to his brother and gave him a warm hug. Will smiled and returned that hug.

“Where is she? Is she fine? When can we see her?” he asked frantically.

“You couldn't, but I know nothing and no one is going to stop you so you go but only for ten minutes, am I understood?”.

He nodded, a toothy smile plastered on his face. “I promise.”

“I'll take care of him,” Will answered the unspoken question of his brother, who kept alternating his gaze between his child and Will.

“Don't you dare leave him alone okay?”.

“Don’t you know me at all brother? Now go, I want to spend some time alone with my beautiful little nephew, I haven't had the chance to say hello yet.”

“Thank you so much Will, you’re the best.”

You tried to open your eyes but the blinding light of the room forced you to close them.

It took you some time before they got used to it while instead your mind retraced the events that happened.

You felt groggy from the anesthesia and medications so it took you a while to realize you were in a hospital room.

What happened?

I gave birth.

Where is my baby? Is he fine?

You tried to lift yourself up, failing miserably when you felt a sharp pain go through your abdomen.

“No, no, no, stay still baby don't try to get up,” you felt someone caressing your arms and a voice that you immediately recognized belonged to your husband. You turned your head towards him and it was so nice to see him again.

“What happened? Where is my baby? Tell me he's okay.”

Jay hugged you, being careful not to hurt you or put too much weight on you. “He's fine, he's with Will now,” Jay explained in a low voice “I was so scared Y/N.”

You hugged him back, inhaling his scent deeply.

“You had an uterine hemorrhage… You had a surgery…” he continued but suddenly stopped. You were about to speak when you heard a soft sob and at that point you realized he was crying.

“Hey, hey, baby, look at me,” you whispered, pulling away from the hug only to then gently place your hands on his face now streaked with tears, “I'm fine my love, everything was fine. Please don't cry.”

“I was so scared of losing you,” he whispered “I don't know what I would’ve done without you…”

You kissed him, pressing your lips against his in a kiss with which you tried to express all the love you felt for him and to calm him down.

“You will never get rid of me Mr. Halstead.”

He giggled through tears. “Don't even joking about that Mrs Halstead, I can't even imagine living in a world where you are not in. Don't ever do that to me again do you hear me? You made me worry to death.

“Okay, I'll try not to bleed out next time,” you laughed, but a twinge of pain made you stop. “Damn it hurts.”

“I'm sorry baby,” he kissed your forehead, stroking your hair as he did “You were so strong today my little warrior, try to rest now you deserve it.”

“I want to see my baby, can you bring him here?”.

“Sure love, I'll tell Will.”

You began to cry when you picked up your son, venting all the fear, tension and worry that had overwhelmed you that day. Nonetheless, however, it was worth it. All the morning sickness, the sleepless nights, the perennial back pain, the wrenching and debilitating contractions, you would’ve done it all over again just to be able to see that little face again for the first time.

After Will said goodbye and left you and Jay alone, he sat on the bed right next to you, grinning like an idiot as he saw his son's mother and his baby together. God, he couldn't have made a better choice for the mother oh his kids.

“Look at him baby, he's so handsome,” you whispered, still looking at your little boy.

Jay put an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close as he planted a kiss on the top of your head. “He got it from his mom.”

He brought his free hand close to the little ones of his child and his heart exploded with joy when that little hand grabbed his index finger, squeezing it.

“Thank you for giving me the best gift I could ever ask for, I love you so much baby,” Jay spoke softly, promising himself he would do everything in his power to return this gift and love you with everything he had but also realizing not even a lifetime would be enough to make up for the blessing you gave him. A family.

General tag list: @hngbrooks, @alexxavicry

Jay Halstead tag list: @burgstead, @bebataylor84, @ares-kelani-wayne, @lxna-mikaelsxn, @sande5098, @smoothdogsgirl, @withakindheartx, @jess2013, @maddu-oliveira, @lovemesomepietro, @onechicagodrawings, @jinxfan18, @xeleni-nurse, @ready-hit-it, @rainroo2, @tinfoilhat2719, @hehurst23, @upsteadlovingheart, @secondaryjob, @nevaehstreater18, @sophiatellerrhodes, @dedlund82, @kellykidd, @rippl3s, @stephanie708, @annahargrove, @smutl0ver, @kuroe-san, @caroldanverwife, @cbaby, @nosy09, @luvreading67, @danielmarie, @saiyuo12, @alexxavicry, @nachodaze, @waywardhunter95, @fighterkimburgess, @ephemeral314, @mads-weasley, @itskellysev, @lovemedlife, @atarmychick007, @amazedbyitall, @glodessa, @xeleni-dutchnurse, @ossypooh, @itriedtoexplain, @randomwriter1021, @resanoona, @averyhotchner, @ellavanderberg, @mrshalsteadxx, @junevoidzombie, @nocturnalherb16, @croissantthief, @jayhalsteadsbadge, @youngblood199456, @dreamss-wavess, @halsteadloversworld, @halstead-severide-fan, @laaaauuraaaaa, @firerusher, @hngbrooks, @mrspeacem1nusone, @itserickalove, @23victoria, @slytherlight, @goingwiththewind, @notanordinaryprincess95, @mel0809, @cadyfanninger

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things-about-cars-in-posts · 4 months

Note

hmm. conversely, most ADHD car?

(A dab o' context for y'all, this ask came hot off the heels of my most autistic car post, hence the "conversely".)

Well, when I read this, I had nothing. But then I thought about it a little, and suddenly, I continued to have nothing.

But you already know that, dear asker, because you're in the blog's Discord server which I turned to for suggestions. And in fact, you chipped in yourself with not one but two picks, first of which the fifth generation Ford Mustang!

So, pray tell, what brings my elementary school self's favorite car ever ever into this list?

uhh from like a cultural view its an unfocused and hyperactive car with a reputation of not going the way people want (see: crowd meme)

Oh, come on, are we really still not over that stereotype whereby late model Mustangs are owned by people both too eager to show off not to leave a car meet flooring it and too inept to actually keep it under control when they do?

Well, I guess to get over it it'll need to stop being true.

But also, being so much of an exhibitionist as to cause physical pain is not about ADHD at all!

Anyone I invite at my house gets bored to tears with a tour of my every possession...

...but not because I have ADHD!

Actually, you know what? That may really be it now that I think about it. Well, anyway, your submission is funny enough to earn a pass even if we don't see eye to eye on this anyway.

How about your second, though?

alternatively: late '90s to early 2000s tuner Civic, for the same reasons

While he included this picture, he advised to use a worse example, so I took the liberty to present you a historical picture.

I say historical because this picture was the definition of rice, the textbook example. If Wikipedia had a page for "rice (automotive)" it would feature this picture, probably second behind that blue early 90s Civic which in hindsight we were all wrong about and was actually sick.

Did you know this was made by a teenager out of metal? I'm digressing.

Friend of the blog (well, pillar of the blog at this point) @demoness-one agrees and suggests:

Honestly riced out clapped out honda civics did come to mind also But i feel like the car that most represents adhd is probably one that isn't finished lol Abstract concept of a car

But she wasn't the only one to vote for her own cars, as friend of the blog and Saturn SL1 owner @chevyventure posted a simple but effective contribution:

zero executive function between those eyes

Not as simple as friend of the blog @brick-enthusiast's, however, who just posted a Suzuki Cappuccino without comment.

In respect of that approach I will not comment either.

However, it's time to make my pick too, as in the process of writing this post I finally understood the assignment, and thus came up with something.

What's ADHD? As this blog demonstrates, sometimes it's being hyperfocused on something exciting, much to the detriment of things that actually matter in daily life. Sometimes it's said focus earning amazing results that seem disproportionate to one's means. Sometimes it's taking comfort in the routine, in deeply ingrained habits and tradition that still have to constantly be actively enforced as conscious choice. Sometimes it's being darty, shooting from point to point with speed other minds can't even keep up with. Sometimes it's having too much energy to contain. Sometimes it's... being loud? Oh really! I thought I was just being Italian!

And if you've read my 100th post, you'll know a car that fits that description to a T. (And if you haven't, click on here before reading on because you really want to.)

Indeed, what could be a better pick than a car that's stayed the same for nigh on seven decades in its devoted preservation of its ability to dart around like nothing else on the road, a car so perfromance-focused the comfort spec is the one that gets windows, a car not one bit less deafening than legally required? What could be a better pick than the Caterham Seven 620R, the literal world record holder for spinning around in circles?

youtube

And also just look at it.

If you're wondering about the number plate, it was made to celebrate its Lego version - yes indeed!

And if you can believe it, people still gifted me clothes for Christmas.

Links in blue are posts of mine about the topic in question: if you liked this post, you might like those - or the blog’s Discord server, linked in the pinned post!

#ford mustang #honda civic #suzuki cappuccino #caterham seven #demoness-one #chevyventure #jettacar #brick-enthusiast #lgbt cars #once again I will use the tag for something that cannot remotely be called a sexuality just because it kind of fits the theme of the series

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i-am-the-oyster · 2 months

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hey! you know icke braun’s autobiography? i saw a post that you made about the book and that you and somebody were working on translating (the post is from like 2022) and i was wondering if you had a pdf or something of the translated version?

Yes! Icke Braun should get so much more attention from Beatles fans.

@packyourromanticmind has very kindly shared the full text that she and her mother translated (below the cut).

If you'd like to follow along the analysis of Icke and Paul's relationship that I've been working on with @ilovedig go here (we're hoping to continue the series soon).

Anyway, back to the translation:

Kathia heard from a friend that a great group was playing the Kaiserkeller in the Grosser Freiheit area . She kept going on at me that we should go see them play. When we talked about it in the Pigalle, people all pulled skeptical faces.. ‘That’s rock n’ roll that they’re playing, it’s absolutely below our level’. And anyway, for us it was a dangerous area, but still, I was very intrigued. One could go and listen to them and then decide what we thought of the music, and so I went with Kathia.

It was a sort of wake up experience. This music meant, without exaggeration, a total change in my life. For the first time, I saw The Beatles, I was totally out of my comfort zone; that was my music. From one moment to the next, Earl Alexander and the whole jazz scene was yesterday’s news. The Beatles brought much more dynamic energy and aggressiveness to the stage. I could feel myself bodily transmorph into the music. It wasn’t just the music that I found amazing, I also found the way that the boys presented themselves on stage - their choreography was amazing. Paul was left-handed and stood with John or George together who were right-handed and the microphone was in the middle. So they stood with their faces to the microphone but the public saw them from the side and it was a wonderful symmetry which fitted their music. At this time the band consisted of five people, Paul McCartney on bass guitar and song, John Lennon; rhythm guitar and song, George; lead guitarist and song, Stu Sutcliffe; bass, and Pete Best on drums. In the shortest time possible, I became a fervent fan. I went to the Kaiserkeller several times. The atmosphere was rough there, sometimes even dangerous because most of the guests there were rockers. Rock n’ roll was their sole music and they had no patience with people next to them who weren’t Exis. The Beatles at that time had their own style. As I said, I don’t understand music a lot, but to my ears, there was everything in their music that later became their sound. Above all, it was rock n roll. They covered Chuck Berry, and of course the rock fans loved him. The music and the beer would flow freely, the atmosphere could change quickly, and they would have start a fight. This was not allowed by the Kaiserkeller and its owner, (who was called Horst and was a former boxer). For the rockers, it was a seal of honour to poke fun at the people who that didn’t fit in with them, especially their enemies, among them of course the Exis to which I belonged. The best thing was to ignore the poking altogether and take yourself to another corner. Luckily I always managed to keep away from the fights, without completely losing face.

After a few weeks, the Beatles went into the Top Ten on the Reeperbahn, where their concerts were mostly visited by people who allowed themselves greater musical freedom. So, visitors like Kathia and I weren’t in the minority anymore. We were at the Top Ten most evenings, where a certain trust situation between The Beatles and us developed. There were situations where I really regretted that I hadn’t learnt better English, otherwise I would have had many more chances to have contact with the boys. One morning after a long night in Top Ten, Kathia and I went to bed between 3 and 4am in the morning. We went to her house and fell into bed exhausted, where we spent the rest of the day in bed. In the evening around 8 or 9pm we made our way to Hamburg again, back to the Top Ten. On the way from Ahrensburg, we came past a large strawberry plantation. Because there were no people around, Katia said, let’s steal a few strawberries. The strawberries were small, red and sweet and after we had eaten enough, we said, let’s take some for The Beatles. Kathia went into a barn and came out with a big basket. We picked so many strawberries that the basket overflowed, and on the way to the car, most fell into the road. We put the basket behind my seat and drove off. At 10pm at the Top Ten, The Beatles were already in full swing, and the dance floor was thick with people. Between two sets, we took the strawberries to the stage. The other guests joked and called us the young strawberries. We could have invited the band for a round of beer or schnapps, like the sailors or rockers did, but the strawberries were something else. The Beatles were overjoyed like children, and Paul said ‘what a wonderful idea, you can do this again!’ (He said this in bad German, which he had learnt in school). The four boys started to eat and couldn’t stop. The interval became longer and longer because the basket was so full and took a long time to empty. The public began to protest, so John decided to start throwing strawberries at people, and then Paul and the others copied him. The public then threw back the squashed strawberries and it became a food fight…Luckily most of the strawberries had been eaten. Paul then came down from the stage and asked Kathia and myself if we had a musical wish. There was a song which we liked called ‘Till There Was You’ and Kathia whispered to me that we should choose this song. It was a love song and didn’t actually fit into the whole rock n’ roll genre that they normally played. Unfortunately Paul didn’t understand that this was Kathia’s music choice and thought for years that this was my favourite song . Every time that I went to the Top Ten or The Star and he saw me, he would play ‘Till There Was You, which was was quite embarrassing for me because it wasn’t my taste of music at all, and also because the rockers bombarded me with rude gestures and remarks. Years later, when the boys were already famous, and I was allowed backstage, we were sitting in the Ernst Merck hall and George Harrison mentioned ‘Till There Was You. I told him that it was actually Kathia’s music taste and not mine. So he understood, but there is still footage from The Star Club where one can hear “And now we will play ‘till there was you’ for Icke”.

After the strawberry episode, we came to know The Beatles better. Sometimes we went with them to a bar. Down below in the port, there was an English speaking pub where you could get English food and be served by English waiters and we went there a few times to eat. It was called British Sailors Society. Pete Best was very rarely there, he usually stayed in the background. And also we didn’t see much of Stu Sutcliffe, he was already dating Astrid Kircherr and concentrating more on his studies in his art school, instead of the music. The best contact I had was with Paul, not only because he was the only one who spoke German, but to me he was the most likeable. I went with him a few times to the Raa-Wiese. At one point he wanted to sleep with a girl, a groupie who he met in the Top Ten. He didn’t want to meet in the little room that he shared with John, George and Pete, so there were very few other opportunities for inviting girls back . He asked me if he could take the girl back to mine. Although I didn’t have much space either, but I still said yes. So I invited both of them into my little beatle car; Paul sat next to me on the passenger seat, and he had the girl on his lap. Even though she was small and dainty, it was a very tight squeeze. In a convivial mood we drove along the river at 4am in the morning, reciting tongue twisters. It was my job to say ‘red lorry yellow lorry’ three times. It was very difficult with my bad English…it was even more difficult because I was laughing so much. Suddenly the girl shrieked as in front of us a car appeared. I could only steer the car to the right and we narrowly avoided a crash. However I turned the wheel too sharply and we turned around full circle and came to a stop in the middle of the street. We really had amazing luck that at this time of day, as there was very little traffic. The car that we nearly hit was a taxi , a tank-like black Mercedes. The driver was standing next to his car and shouting like a lunatic, and he was not far from starting a fight. I was in two minds whether to drive off or not, because the taxi driver was a bullish type and he wanted to lay into me. However I decided to walk over to him, and with great effort and honest regret, I persuaded him not to report us so we were able to continue our journey in peace, although the girl now had to sit behind us. That was the worst near fatal collision of my whole life. We had been laughing so much, I didn’t notice that we had somehow ended up on the other side of the road, and we were a hairs breath away from a head on crash. We were uninsured, without airbags or safety belts and it could have been curtains for all three of us and the lorry driver. One could imagine how much poorer the world would have been without Paul.. no Beatles! The band would not have made it without Paul. George might have become an electrician, John an artist and Ringo, well he wasn’t even in the picture. No, I don’t want to imagine it. I later relayed the story to Thomas Struck, a Hamburger underground filmmaker who went on to make a small film of our near accident .

It’s strange that there is a rumour in this context which has been going around since 1969, and that is that Paul McCartney apparently died in a car accident in 1966 and has since been impersonated by a double. This rumour became almost a conspiracy theory which the 74 year old Ringo Starr corroborated in an interview in 2015. The theory, he said, was that Billy Shears played the double for Paul. At first, everyone wanted to keep the story going, so that record companies, and concert venues and the public were spared the gruesome details of the reality, and because Shears played his role so perfectly and nobody noticed the exchange of personality, they left it at that. Even on stage, Shears played Paul perfectly . In fact, Ringo asserts, he was better than McCartney! I don’t know what was going on between him and Paul, but such differences to me seemed very hateful. Paul apparently, after this unveiling, very angrily retorted that it was the senile gossip of an old man.

I met Paul long after the supposed accident and I never had the feeling that I was talking to a double. On the contrary, in 1991, at the Hamburg premiere about their previous world tour, I visited him in the Hotel Atlantic. He was standing with his wife Linda and two men at reception and was just about to leave when he saw me. Spontaneously he came over to me and greeted me. Billy Shears couldn’t have reacted like this, because he didn’t know me. Ringo got his comeuppance for his angry diatribes later when a post on Twitter dated 2016 declared him dead. This rumour (and naturally it was nothing more), spread like wildfire over the whole internet. I am curious to see which rumour will be the next one to make the rounds.

Anyway back to reality. When we arrived in Rahlstedt, we had to drive through a little housing estate, and it was night when we arrived; the moon was shining brightly, and the little allotment houses looked like normal houses in miniature form. Paul laughter and said; ‘I’ve never seen anything like this, do dwarves live in them?’ No I said, these are garden houses , they belong to normal people and I live in one of these houses (I was joking). In Paul’s defence , he had had a few drinks, and his tolerance wasn’t very high.

My little room suddenly became quite tight for three people; Paul, his girlfriend, and myself. Paul thought that there was even less space here than the room the group shared above the Top Ten. Because I was feeling hospitable (and because I had a bad conscience about the accident), I gave him my bed, and proceeded to make myself comfortable on the floor. Sleep however, did not come to mind, because the girl tried repeatedly to charm Paul and to pull him into her arms. Instead, he lay with his head supported by the headboard and told us stories about how he and his friends spent their nights in Hamburg. He was talking about himself, John , George and Pete Best. Stu Sutcliffe was better off because he lived with his girlfriend Astrid Kircherr . For the first time I discovered that the four Beatles lived together in a room above the Top Ten with only a little skylight, and that was only a small improvement to the hellhole their previous boss, Bruno Koschmider had put them in when they first arrived in Hamburg. They were still with Stu at that point, so it was five of them in total. Bruno, who owned the Bambi Kino, vacated a room for them that previously housed the film reels. It was small, unheated, had no window and in comparison to their current abode, it didn’t even have a skylight. To sleep, they had to lie on straw sacks on the floor. The only positive, Paul said, was that this room was directly behind the cinema screen and the boys were able to listen to the dialogue and music of the films that played from 4pm in the afternoon. The room was lit with one tiny bare lightbulb which hung from the ceiling, and there wasn’t even a wash basin in the room. To wash themselves, they had to go to the mens toilets in the cellar. That’s where they got know Tante Rosa, the toilet attendant. Paul was charmed by her, she washed all their sweat soaked clothes, otherwise, they would have had nothing to wear. Without Tante Rosa, they would have long ago been buried in their own dirt. He also told us of the first time they went on stage at the Indra, a strip tease joint, which was also owned by Bruno. Because it was such a bad joint, the Beatles had to share billing with the strip tease dancers. For two months they had to endure this crap, because their previous manager, Alan Williams had told them that they would be appearing in a huge nightclub, (which actually turned out to be the Kaiserkeller). Unfortunately, Derry And The Seniors were appearing there, who were of the opinion that The Beatles had nothing to offer in Hamburg, and they would bring the place into ill repute with their English rock n’ roll. However it wasn’t long before The Beatles were allowed to appear, because the Senior’s contract had expired. However, their living situation didn’t change.

Paul couldn’t stop telling these stories, and I felt very privileged and honoured that he trusted me to share so much. In the meantime, the girl had long since fallen asleep and was snoring loudly, whereas we two talked deep into the night, and our conversation didn’t find an end. Very late in the night, just as it got light outside, Paul suddenly stopped speaking mid-sentence, fell asleep and began snoring louder than the girl. I tried to find myself a bearable place on the floor, but I couldn’t fall sleep for a long time because of the snoring.

I never got to know Bruno Koschmider but after Pauls stories, I’m assuming he must have been a dreadful man. Small, hunched and constantly with a miserable face.. strangely, in World War Two, apparently he performed as a clown, although he never made us laugh. This is the story that Pete Best told us anyway; that ‘he was never a clown and he never made us laugh’. In some strange way however, he had came into the money and was able to buy the Indra, the Kaiserkeller, and the Bambi-Kino cinema . His only merits was he was the first one to bring a British sound to Hamburg; he had started with Tony Sheridan, then came Derry And The Seniors, Rory Storm and The Hurricanes and finally, the Beatles. On the other hand, one could say that he misused these young people shamefully. For instance, The Beatles had to sign an agreement that for 30 marks per person, they had to play four hours a night from Monday - Friday, and on Saturday they had to play for six hours. Bruno even took money during their intervals. When they moved above the Top Ten and were earning 5 marks more a day, they had to play for longer. But even so, they thought it was a move in the right direction, because they got on better with their new boss, Pete Eckhorn. Bruno threw it in their faces that they ‘deserted’ him. Then he became nasty and threw all sorts of accusations at them. First of all, because George Harrison was underage, he reported him for this. Then he reported Paul and Pete, accusing them of trying to burn down his cinema. In reality, they had only left their old boss two used condoms as a farewell present . In the end, it was only John who stayed behind in Hamburg, however he became very lonely without his friends and later returned of his own free will back to the U.K. So the story of The Beatles in Hamburg could have come to an end without much ado . But as luck would have it, they had signed a contract with Eckhorn, which means they could travel back to Germany very soon.

I once had Paul, John and George stay with me at my home in the Raawiese. My landlords weren’t home, only their 12 year old son who hung around us, and their Chinese Nightingale, who were heard singing in the background. We made a small fire in the garden and started to empty a bottle of whisky that we had bought with us. The little boy showed us a mass of twigs which were waiting to be burned, the wood was a little fresh and it was hard to light. After a short while, we had a little campfire, although the smoke got into all our eyes! Perhaps it was the whiskey talking, or our sporting aspirations , but we decided to start jumping over the fire. After every jump we were allowed to take a slug of whiskey. Even the young boy dared to join in. When John made a misjudged jump and nearly landed in the fire and burnt his trousers, we stopped playing. He complained his only lederhosen was now kaput, although they didn’t seem damaged to me. In the meantime, the whiskey flask was nearly empty and we were all quite drunk. It was late and the three wanted to get home to rest before their next performance. With my drunken head on, I told them I could drive them, but John wanted to borrow my beatle car instead. The fact that he had no driving license, and probably couldn’t drive anyway, didn’t matter to him. Unfortunately it mattered to me, so instead of driving my taking the car, I took them to the bus stop. It was really hard for us to walk even the few hundred meters with our wobbly legs. If we had driven there definitely would have been another accident!

When I returned to the Raawiese, the little boy came to me in great distress and told me that the nightingale was dead. ‘Which nightingale?’ I mumbled. I let myself be taken to the house where the birdcage hung. Then I saw the problem…The nightingale lay on his back with rolled up feet and he wasn’t moving. Even when I gently nudged him, I couldn’t bring him back to life. Perhaps our campfire had killed him. I actually thought to myself, when the landlords find out about this, I will be out on the street. So I told the boy that our adventures with the fire had to be kept a secret from his parents. He agreed, and we threw some water onto the campfire and moved everything away that was still lying around from the garden party. I was hoping the neighbours were away, and wouldn’t tell on us. Anyway, my fears were ungrounded, because although the landlords were sad about the death of my bird, they never asked any questions. Obviously the little boy stayed true to his word. I met him recently after a visit to the Kleingartensiedlung. He still lived in the little old house. In the meantime, he had renovated and extended, but otherwise it looked exactly like it did in bygone days. He told me proudly that he tells our story to the people on his estate, and they fall about in surprise when he says that The Beatles once came to his house and jumped over their camp fire.

From April 3rd 1962, The Beatles played in the Star Club. Kathia and I had a sort of place of honour in the upper circle which was always reserved for us. We never paid any entrance fee and we always had a great view. Although since then, I’ve had another girlfriend - we still sat together in the same box. On the box in front of us was Astrid Kirchherr, Klaus Vormann and Jurgen Vollmer. There were the first guard of Beatles friends, and we belonged to the second. The great thing about our box was that we were allowed to use it even when other musicians appeared in the star club . In those days, these were the prominent people in the rock n’ roll scene of the time; Chuck Berry, Little Richard, Jerry Lee Lewis. For all these visits, we didn’t have to pay a penny, except for Ray Charles, who we once saw in the Star Club; that cost me 20 Marks.

Next to the Star Club, there was a place called Zer Holle. This was where I often sat with The Beatles, but also with other bands, such as Gerry And The Pacemakers. There was sometimes a woman joining us called Mary Brown, who was the leader of the Beatles fan club. I was once here with Mary, Paul McCartney, Gerry and a few others. Gerry went on at me that I should become his fan too. He spoke nonstop and he kept repeating the same sentence. “Icke, you should become MY fan”. At the beginning I felt very honoured and flattered, but after a while he got on my nerves . I ordered him a beer and although he was already fairly merry, he toasted me and said, “now I’m becoming an honorary Beatles fan”. I asked Mary to show me my fan passport which she showed me immediately. I was member number 62. Until the late 60s, Mary Brown sent every member of the fan club a vinyl recording of music and best wishes from The Beatles. As an honorary member, I also had to pay very little for the beer. Once, a waiter who was new to the Star Club, asked me for 1.50 Marks and I didn’t have any change, so I gave him a 20 Mark note . He said to me, ‘when I’ve got the change i’ll come back to you’. I tried to attract his attention when he passed by my seat, but he looked at me like he didn’t recognise me. He insisted that I’d only given 1.50 and I became very stubborn and started arguing, and he threatened to throw me out. At that moment Horst Fascher walked past. I didn’t know him very well but he knew me. I told him I’d given the waiter 50 marks but he hadn’t given me any change. One moment said Horst. The waiter was a head higher than the owner but he knew what was coming. Horst grabbed him by his arm , turned him away from me and said a word I didn’t understand . Then he waited until the the waiter opened his pocket book and gave me 48.50 as change. Normally I’m an honest person, but when I’m being swindled, the war-child in me comes through, who has learnt to insist and get tough, even if it’s at the cost of other people. I didn’t have a bad conscience because of what I had done. First, I did to him what he did to me, and second, on his evening round, he had probably done the same to the rest of his evening guests.

Horst was the eldest of three brothers. They were all small men under 1m 70, but they were feared fighters. He was the first one to have the idea to bring English rock music to Germany. In 1959 he appeared as a lightweight fighter in a match in London. That evening after the fight, he partied through Soho and landed in a club where rock n’ roll bands were playing live. The German version of this music was also playing at the moment in the Kaiserkeller, but this was a different format. The singer was Tony Sheridan. His appearance was as strong and authentic as Bill Haley or Elvis Presley, who one only knew through Hollywood films. Horst was amazed. Back in Hamburg, he told Bruno Koschmider of his discovery. Bruno flew instantly to London and engaged Tony for his Kaiserkeller . Horst was the second string to his fiddle; he was later responsible for bringing the Beatles from the Kaiserkeller into Peter Eckhorn’s Top Ten, and then to Manfred Weissleder in the Star Club. Both his brothers were waiters in the Star Club but otherwise they didn’t really play a large role. Freddie, on the other hand, who was the youngest brother, became my protector. I was only a little player, and the impression was sometimes that people could push me around. But if I became cross with somebody and Freddie noticed, he would come between us . He was little, and his opponents were mostly bigger so he would grab them by the shirt, pull them down to his level and give them a headbutt, then there was peace.

With his brother Horst, I once had a special adventure. At Christmas of ’62 I had made The Beatles a special Christmas plate (as I had done the year before), where amongst other things I always distributed were bags of Liptons tea. That was a trademark - it was meant to be a quirky reminder of home. I also placed candles on the plates, and I wanted to bring all of this onto the stage, but Horst told me off and said, ‘you can’t do this with lit candles on stage - its much too dangerous…What were you thinking? Give them to me!’ So he dimmed the lighting in the room and took the coloured plates with the lit candles to the stage. The Beatles were already throwing tea bags and biscuits at each other, and Paul took the microphone and said, ‘Icke, you are so considerate’. Because of the teabags, they recognised the plates were my invention, even though Horst had taken them to the stage. The hardened rockers in the audience thought it was a bit feminine and misplaced that I should give such Christmas presents for them. But for me, every appearance The Beatles made was a present that was bigger than I ever could have given them back. Every time I listened to them, an intense feeling of happiness flowed through me . In them, I could forget everything around me. I never experienced such a total immersion in any other rock band who appeared at the Star Club. Perhaps there was something feminine about it , but I didn’t care.

Something feminine was at play the first time I met John. I sat with him and the rest of the band at The Star Club at the end of the night after their gig. The bar was the shape of a large oval on which one side John sat with George and a few other guests, whereas Paul and I were about five meters away on the other side. We chatted about who was our favourite author. Naturally the guys only knew English or American authors, that was clear. Who mentioned who I’m not so sure. One said Lewis Caroll, another said Dylan Thomas. I had recently seen the play Under Milk Wood by Dylan Thomas, otherwise I knew nothing of him. ‘And you Icke?’ Asked Paul.. ‘who is your favourite author?’. ‘Henry Miller, I find him really great’, I replied. At the same moment, John glanced over to me. Up until then, he had been watching - with his usual slightly bored expression, Bettina the bar lady as she washed up glasses and cleared up the bar. Our conversation didn’t seem to interest him enormously. Now he looked at me directly in the eyes. Silently and without taking his eyes off me, he came around the whole length of the bar, kissed me on the mouth and walked back to his place. At first I was very surprised and didn’t know what to do about this. Then I found it slightly amusing and didn’t think any more of it . A few days later, it happened again. I met him on the walkway behind the stage and again he took my hand and kissed me. That made me actually think about the fact.. ‘Oh my God, am I gay?, because I don’t know if I can do this’. But what was really behind this, I don’t know, and never knew. Maybe the kisses were a sort of overture? Because amongst homosexuals, he was known as a Klemm-schwuler (‘camp gay’ /closet case). I have no idea. In any case, I saw his girlfriend Cynthia, who visited him in 1961 and who he married a year later. Quite apart from that, he was often seen in the company of girls a lot.

On the 10th April, 1962, the fifth Beatle, Stu Sutcliffe died of a brain tumour. It was the same day that his band colleagues, (apart from George), landed at Hamburg airport a few days later to appear at the Star Club. I had very little contact with Stuart, because he left the band a year before I knew them to concentrate on his studies at the art school. Amongst his friends, his death was a huge shock. Especially hard hit was John, who was at art school in Liverpool with him and was close friends. For days he ran around like a corpse through the city, until he found himself again.

In the first half of Nov 1962, when The Beatles appeared at the Star Club again, the drummer was Ringo Starr and not Pete Best. I couldn’t get used to it at first. Even though I had very little personal contact with Pete, I felt that an important part of the brilliant ensemble had been lost. After a while, I became used to Ringo and strangely, the music became somehow rounder, and in any case, not as loud as before. Perhaps I’m just imagining it, as I’ve said, I’m not the greatest music expert. My impression was that Pete always drummed like a madman, whereas Ringo fitted in with the music. What Paul had said to me was that it was Brian Epstein who replaced Pete. It was already then very obvious the enormous influence this man had on the group. From the beginning of November, he monitored their performances and they appeared in a new, specially made outfits which they had overlooked so far in their Hamburg performances. Now they were in preppy clothes. And accordingly, they behaved themselves on stage. No more mucking around and no insults. It was only when Epstein left Hamburg on Nov 10th, they were able to go back to their old style of performance. Already on the Sunday evening, just a few hours after they had taken their manager to the airport, they were wearing their old leather rags and dancing on the stage as normal. John as usual, offended the whole audience by insulting them.

The Beatles last performances at the Star was Dec 18 -31st, 1962 . On New Years day, they were due to go back to England. I took Paul in my little beatle car to the airport, where he met with the others. Then the announcement came that the flight to London was delayed by four hours. Wonderful I thought, I have more time to hang out with them. It was in these last hours that I could talk to them all on the same level; because what happened in the next few months in England, at the crazy speed it developed, none of us, the Beatles or the fans could have imagined. The next time I saw them, they were absolute world stars and they lived in a different world. That time in the airport bar we were still thinking that in a few months, they would be appearing at the Star Club again . They were in good spirits, and not just because of the previous night where we had celebrated all night, and drunk a lot of alcohol. It was more because they were heading off on small tour in Scotland, which was due to take place the next day beginning in Keith. But most importantly, they were beginning a tour with Helen Shapiro, where they would appear as one of the six warm up acts. Helen was 16 years old, so a few years younger than The Beatles, but much more famous and much more savvy than the boys. Musically they didn’t think much of her, but her fame was hard to discredit. It was going to be their first professional tour. Us Hamburger fans followed their journey via newspapers and the radio, how they were celebrated by the public, and soon Helen Shapiro was displaced. This tour lasted a month from February to March 1963, and catapulted The Beatles into the heavies of rock music. Together with Tommy Roe and Chris Montez-Tournee, they had broken through. Brigitte Janner, who was my girlfriend at the time, kept me up to date with how famous the band were becoming and the welcome they received whenever they appeared .

It was three and a half years later that I saw them again. A teen magazine called Bravo had organised a lightening tour through Germany with them, and three weeks before had started creating an advertising frenzy . Even the people from Der Bild and Bravo stood outside my house and wanted to interview me. I said they could interview me if they could get me into the Beatles press conference . They didn’t want to do that, perhaps they couldn’t do it. In any case I didn’t give them an interview. The next day in Der Bild newspaper, there was a big article entitled ‘Icke And The Beatles’. There was a photo of me with wide open eyes, which somebody had shot the moment I had opened my door for them. It was not exactly a good image of me and I would have stopped the publication of it had I known. Also in this article, there were loads of made up stories . These stories started circulating at my work which made me uncomfortable, not least because my colleagues were gossiping about me. After all, I was head of the department, and I didn’t want to be compromised. There were newspaper articles in Der Bild and Bravo about me in Reinhold & Mahla (my workplace) which was uncomfortable for me, because it meant my colleagues had ratted on me.

The tour was booked from the 24th - 26th June; three days in three cities. Through the press photographer, Peter Bruchmann, I found out the Beatles would be arriving at 5 30 am on a special train at the Ahrensburg station, so I got up at 4 in the morning not to miss this moment. As the train approached, I stood very close to the edge of the platform. A mass of journalists, fans and other commuters also stood on the platform. It was terribly noisy and nobody could understand a word anyone was saying. Luckily, I found a favourable place on the platform - facing the wagon in which the Beatles were basically stood right outside my nose. I saw the guys standing at the window and Paul saw me too. He moved his lips as though he wanted to say something to me, and pointed to the front where they were going to disembark. Unfortunately this was about 10 meters deep with people who were all trying to see the band. I tried with all my might to push through but I was still stuck in the middle. It was just impossible to get through. The Beatles had already disembarked. They were corralled straight away by the bodyguards who had freed a walkway through the crowd. However, Paul managed to turn around, he called to me, ‘We’ll see you later!’, and then they ran at speed through the walkway, out to where the cars were standing, surrounded by journalists and fans who were waiting for them. They were taken with a police escort to the Castle Tremsbuttel, where they were staying the night.

The whole thing happened so quickly that on the way home, I thought it had been a dream. On the way back in the car, I asked myself, what did Paul mean when he called out to me? How should I approach him, how was it going to work that we would see each other when the instructions had been so vague. The two concerts were scheduled for 3pm - 4.45pm and then 7pm - 8 45 pm. In between both concerts there were press conferences being held, to which unfortunately I wasn’t invited. I managed to get a ticket for the second concert, but I still hung around for three hours with the other fans in the hall. Suddenly on the loudspeaker I heard my name. ‘Icke Braun is asked to come to the desk’. I thought to myself, what do I need to come to the desk for? but I went anyway. A man was standing there who I had met before - he was from the newspaper, Der Bild. He told me that Paul McCartney wanted to speak to me, then turned around and went into the conference room and I followed him. Already outside I could hear John Lennon’s voice and as the door opened, I saw him joking with the journalists. As everyone was only speaking English, I didn’t understand much of it. The Beatles were sitting on a podium together with a man I didn’t know. Later I discovered that that was Neil Aspinall who was the personal assistant to the Beatles. George saw me and waved me to his side. I went a bit nearer to the stage but kept my distance. Why should I stand around on the stage looking stupid when I had nothing to say? So I stayed where I was and waited until the end of the conference until I said hello to the guys. A few journalists then left the room but most stayed. When the Beatles came down from the stage, George asked me ‘how are you and what are you doing with yourself’? I said, ‘yes I’m good, I’m now married!’, John heard that and called, “Where’s your wife, let’s see your wife!” and Neil said to me; the Beatles wishes must be obeyed! So I called Evelyn and told her the Beatles wanted to meet her. She was able to come straight away because we had talked about something like this happening. We withdrew into a little room, and suddenly I saw that there was Kathia and Bettina from the the Star Club. I must have overlooked them amongst all the chaos. When Evelyn appeared, she was the first to be introduced to the Beatles. Everything revolved around her and as they were all speaking in English, I stood by looking stupid, so I took the chance to go to the toilet. in order to do that, I had to go through the hustle of journalists who were waiting to grab one of the Beatles. When I came back from the toilet, they were begging me to take them back into the conference room. One said, if you take me with you, I will give you 1000 Marks. When I got back to the Beatles, I asked if I could bring a few people in to meet them, but John and the others were emphatic; no way, we want this to be just us. Bettina took a few photos out of her bag, which showed the Beatles in the Top Ten and the Star Club. The boys were delighted and told her that they would like to have the photos. I told them that the photographer who took them was standing outside the door. ‘Fetch him in, fetch him!’ said John excitedly. The photographer was called Peter Bruchmann, and was absolutely delighted to be the only journalist to be allowed into the conference room. It was he who had given me the tip that the band would be alighting off the train at Ahrensburg . I knew him from the time when the Beatles played at the Top Ten. At that point he hadn’t heard anything about them, and I had to persuade him to come and see them and take a few photos. These became the most famous photos he had ever taken.

A few years ago, we spoke and he told me that his career never got better than these early days. Sadly in 2014 he died. The last photo that he ever took of The Beatles in Germany, he took at the Ernst-Merck-Halle concert venue. The other people in the picture were Bettina, Kathia, Evelyn and i. Unfortunately he couldn’t supply photos from their Hamburg time to the boys at this moment, but he promised them he would send them on if they gave him a forwarding address, however, in the general melee this conversation sadly got forgotten.

All together we stayed for two hours and told each other what we had been up to in our lives. Amongst other things, I asked if they and The Rolling Stones were enemies like the German press insisted. They said that was total nonsense; they were very friendly with them. Then we went into the dining room where we ate fillet steak with lots of onions. Ringo pushed the onions fussily to the side of his plate, and said ‘the whole world knows that I don’t eat onions apart from Hamburg evidently’. During the second concert, we sat int the first row in reserved places, so I could have said myself 20 Mark fee! The Beatles only played half an hour because they wanted to introduce some Hamburg band which included The Rattles. A few of these bands ended up being a bit disappointed because they were just pushed to the side and their music was hardly listened to. Unfortunately, I as an audience member, could understand because everyone had came to see the Beatles, not the Hamburg side acts. Paul told me before the band went onstage that we would see him afterwards, however they disappeared from the stage straight away; while the public was still clapping and calling for more, they were already in their cars. That was the only way to take them from their fans in safety. This was the only contact that my wife Evelyn had with the Beatles.

I myself had two more opportunities to meet Paul McCartney. The first time was in Scotland in 1988. I had long been married to Uta and she was pregnant with our first child. The car we had brought along was a Renault, a fairly long car, where we were transporting a canoe which wouldn’t fold, so it didn’t look very elegant. We had came to a town called Campbelltown, to meet our friend Mary who we had worked with at Amnesty international in Jagerberg . Mary remembered visiting us and seeing a picture of Paul, and told us that her mother had worked for him, at his estate which was not far from here. I said to Uta; ‘come on, let’s go and drive to see him’. But she did not want to go, so therefore I drove there alone. On the way, I had a rethink about what I was actually doing. The estate was guaranteed to be a tourist attraction for journalists and fans, so Paul would likely always have bodyguards on duty. If I were to arrive in my completely filthy Renault with a monster of a canoe on the roof, I wouldn’t stand a chance to get past the bodyguards. They would think that a lousy jerk was coming, who has no reason to be here. That I was once a friend of the famous Paul McCartney, they simply wouldn’t believe. The estate was quite a way away, but I stopped the car and really thought this through - should I carry on with this adventure, or would it be best to simply turn around and just go home. The humiliation that I could be turned around and sent away… I would never get over . For a while I fought with this, backward and forward, then I turned the car around and drove back at a snails pace.

So the last opportunity where I met Paul was in 1991 at the world premiere of Get Back, directed by Richard Lester. After the press conference, I met him and his wife Linda in a room at the back of the cinema. In the room with me was Astrid Kircherr, Ulf Kruger and Achim Reichel and his wife, who had won a place at this this meeting in a competition. During our chat, I mentioned my adventure in Scotland. Even though it was embarrassing to talk about this in front of people, I told Paul that I had planned to visit him, and that I was fearful of the consequences, didn’t trust my courage enough and therefore turned around. He said, “Oh for Gods sake Icke, that’s such a shame. It would have been wonderful if you had actually visited me”. It sounded like he really meant it. I’m still angry at myself over this, sometimes I’m too much of a doofus for this world.

#bonithica ask #packyourromanticmind #thanks again!#icke braun #paul and icke #tillthereweretangents

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virtie333 · 5 months

Text

Day 14 - Life Day Damerey Celebration

Prompt: Parents

Summary: Rey and Poe discuss having children.

Notes: Something a little different. I usually write Rey and Poe having a lot of babies, because I like to live vicariously through them. But what if that isn't what one of them wants?

AO3

It had been a long day, but as Rey settled into her bed next to Poe, she knew it wasn’t over, yet.

She had been thinking a lot of deep thoughts that day. One of her students, a young human boy named Relgan, had hurt himself while out hiking through the jungle around mid-morning. Instead of crying due to the pain or being scared of how badly he was hurt, Relgan had kept apologizing. Over and over again. Rey knew the young boy had been orphaned as a baby and had been raised by the owner of a maintenance shop on Anael. He had not been treated well by the man, and Rey had literally had to buy the child from the man in order to get him away from the slavery he’d known his whole life. Now he was in training to be a Jedi, and was doing well mentally, but he still did and said things that reminded Rey that he was not completely healed from a lifetime of trauma.

“Poe?” she said softly, hoping he wasn’t asleep already.

“Yeah?” He sounded alert.

“I was thinking… I’d like to adopt Relgan.”

Poe turned his head to look at her, his eyebrows high. “Adopt? You’re already his official guardian.”

“I know,” Rey said. “But I feel like if we adopt him, together, that will give him the sense of family that will help him heal even more. Sometimes I think he still sees himself as a slave, even if his current master, me, is good to him.”

“So, you want him to take the Dameron name?” he asked softly.

“If… if you don’t want that-“

“No!” Poe interrupted her. “I don’t mind at all. It would be an honor to call him our son.” He shrugged, giving her a grin. “I always figured we’d become parents someday.”

Rey bit her lip and frowned. Poe noticed. “What’s wrong?”

“About the parent thing,” she said. “Do you want children? Naturally?”

Poe looked at her for a long time, his expression serious. “I guess,” he started. “I never really thought about it. I mean, I guess I thought that, should I ever fall in love with a woman, I wouldn’t be opposed to us having babies together. But as my taste in partners back then was, shall we say ‘lacking uniformity,’ having babies naturally wasn’t always an option.” He paused. “Do you not want to have babies?”

Rey kept her eyes down, and she began picking nervously at a loose thread on the blanket covering them. “I did before,” she finally told him. She looked up, meeting his eyes. “Before I found out who I was.”

Poe shook his head. “Rey, you have nothing to worry about when it comes to your bloodline. You have far too much light in you to worry about your children.”

“Leia was all light, too,” she argued. “And look what happened to Ben!”

Poe reached over and gently stroked her cheek. “Those were extenuating circumstances, but I get it. I understand why you would be afraid.”

“So, you don’t mind that I don’t want children of my own?”

“Of course not,” he confirmed. “We can still be parents for Relgan, and however many other children you feel need a real family.”

She smiled at him, but she still felt sorrow deep inside. Poe seemed to sense it; for a man who could not use the Force, it sure seemed to use him sometimes.

“You can always change your mind, Rey,” he told her. “Just let me know.”

She nodded. “Thank you.” She scooched forward and snuggled up against him. “You are going to be an amazing dad.”

“I think we’re going to be amazing parents,” Poe added. “After we mess up a few hundred times, anyway.”

Rey giggled. “How do you know we’ll mess up?’

“Because good parents always mess up,” Poe told her. “But they learn. And they get better. And they never stop loving their kids or each other.”

“Sounds perfect,” Rey said, her eyes closed, a dreamy smile on her face as she drifted off to sleep.

#fanfiction #damerey #jedipilot #poe x rey #life day #parents #found family

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quodekash · 1 year

Text

its 1pm and im finally well-rested enough to watch last nights episode of abaab, wish me luck (im rly excited for more threezo pls gimme more threezo)

im eating a pomegranate while watching so my commentary may be slightly limited

NOOO CHER WHY ARE YOU SAD ITS GONNA MAKE ME SAD

i just accidentally sprayed pomegranate juice everywhere

this is my first time eating a pomegranate and im sitting on my bed

i have a towel on top of me just in case and im glad i have it

otherwise my funky hufflepuff blanket would look like a crime scene rn

anyway back to the show

awh :[

comforting kiss

im gonna cry

“its not a company owner and an intern. its just you and me.” GHEIBRHGERH THATS SO PERFECT and also makes me feel better cos i was still feeling a little weird about the power imbalance/age gap so yay

THEY HUG

NO, BC YOU WONT BREAK UP

THIS IS THE HAPPIEST FLUFFIEST SHOW, I WILL NOT ALLOW IT

JACK, YOU AND YOUR PERFECT HAIR, HELLO

THREEZO

LOOK AT ZO’S LITTLE HEART JUMPER

I WANT IT

THE ARM THE HAND ON THE ARM LOOK AT THEM AAAAAAATYFYTUUVJ (ft jacks perfect hair on the left)

OMG

THATS AMAZING

IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU JACK

GJERKDGBKRHEBGKJREBJGRE

ah shoot

wait hang on

what the hell

ive been wondering whats in that folder since day one

ohhhh okay its a groupchat

props to that one person for saying its none of your business

yOU HAVE ONE OF THOSE??

i nearly dropped my pomegranate

why was i surprised to learn he has a mother

a lot of people have mothers

thats exactly what she said, isnt it?

bc theyre actually in a drama

its gonna cut to a scene of her saying exactly that

damn i was wrong

thERE’S A HUG QUOTA???

damn then i guess im going to jail

my hands are covered in pomegranate juice this feels like a murder

hey, does pomegranate juice wash off?

MY BOY AND HIS EYEBROWS

HAH, SUCKS TO BE YOU (checks notes) oregano?

i do love that and that’s very sweet, but bro needs his coffee

already at two kisses and were not even halfway through the episode. if only tinngun could live up to their standard.

(this is mostly a joke, im just really salty because tinngun COULD have kissed SIXTY-SEVEN FREAKING TIMES and they DIDNT and no i will not shut up about this i spent way too long combing through the show counting every single time they didnt kiss to not mention it every single time any characters kiss. shameless self promo here)

no wait hang on what the hell

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN???

“drunk or not, i love you” i see now why that line was significant

and also the slight breakup foreshadowing earlier

i understand it now

they wont break up tho bc (i pull out a sword) i will not allow it

(just kidding)

(i dont have a sword)

(if i did have one tho i would absolutely take it out of its sheath right at that moment)

FRIENDSHIP COMFORT TIME

YAY FRIENDSHIP

they make me happy

HIS PERFECT HAIR

I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH GFYTDFYTFCUTVJHV

oh yay we get some tub time!! i cant wait to learn more about him so that i can pick him apart and do a character autopsy on him to find out how he works!

is he speaking from experience? tub, what do you have going on in life? what have you gone through? tell me all about it :] 📝📝

is it texas chicken or is it kfc?

MY BOYS

IM GONNA CRY THEYRE SO FREAKING CUTE

ilysm three

RIGHT????? he gets it

THREEZOOOOOO

i love them so much

NOOOOOO

CHE???

something good better happen

(eret son of eret voice) is tha’ who i fink i’ is?

it might not be

if anyone knows who plays this man, pls lemme know

NOOOOOOO NOT THE GAMEBOY

OH IT GOT WORSE

sir do you have the technical skills for this

i know hes the head of a game developing company thing but the actual physical insides of a gameboy are an entirely different thing, right?

i was waiting for the thoop situation to come up again

the MOOD that this is-

i have finished my pomegranate and can confirm that the juice does in fact come off of human skin, which is nice bc i looked like id murdered someone

👀

and how are you gonna do that, gun?

idk man, i reckon id appreciate you as my big bro

yayyy that was really good, a little bitter at times but really sweet overall. 7/10, would try again

oh and the episode was also really good

huge lack of threezo tho

theyd better make up for it next week

still good tho

bye bye everyone! have a good day!!

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idontunderstandchemistry · 1 year

Text

Indecent Proposal (An academic rivals to lovers fanfic) - Tim Drake x Latina!Fem!Reader.

Sinopsis: Being a scholarship student at Gotham's most expensive school is not easy, especially when your academic rival, your nemesis, who coincidentally is the owner's son, decides to make you a rather usual proposition.

Tropes: Academic rivals-to-lovers, contract/bet, he loved her all this time, everyone else sees it except them, opposites attract, etc.

A/N: Hi guys! I hope you had enjoyed the holidays! So, just to warn you guys, the uptades may become more sparse due to the return to school, but I will continue doing my best to update at least once a week :/ Also, I just wanted to say that I'm very gratefull for every interaction from you guys ❤️ They keep me motivated to keep writing and I simply love to know what you guys think about Indecent Proposal. It makes me feel like we're all on the same boat, I don't know how to explain it lol. Anyways, tysm for evething! (Also, this chapter's song is just because it has been playing in my head non stop because of TikTok. I WANNA BE SAAAAVED)

For those of you that want to read some chapters ahead, feel free to acess my AO3 account here.

Warnings: Alysanne lightly fantasysing with Daddy!Batman (but to be fair, let he who has never sinned cast the first stone,I know I'm not going to be the one.)

Wordcount: 1715.

Chapter thirteen

Chapter Fourteen: Pictures Don't Lie

When you arrived at the studio, Aly was already in their costume, making the last adjustments. You couldn’t help but smile. They looked fucking stunning.

— There she is! — Aly exclaimed as you sat on one of the armchairs, waiting — The it girl of the moment.

— It's good to see you too, Alysanne — You said, taking your shoes off. Fabio’s n°1 rule: never wear shoes while trying on your custom-made clothes — Where’s Fabio?

— I have no idea, I think he said something about grabbing some pins — Aly said, looking at themselves in the mirror — I personally think he meant I’m skinny. Your costume is in the change room, he asked for you to try it on so that he would be back in a minute.

You got inside the change room and saw the beautiful white dress. You could easily be mistaken by a minimalist bride in this dress. The silk was so soft and shiny… the draped bust would make your breasts look even more amazing. You wondered what Tim would think when he saw you in this dress. You giggled like a child, wondering how much this dress cost. Aly loved to pamper you.

— You’ve already hidden your lover’s face from me, don’t hide the dress too! — Aly exclaimed from the outside. You finished putting the dress on and after a good five minutes trying to strap the wings to yourself alone, you got out of the changing room and asked Aly to help you. They helped you and you got to the mirror step to see it better — If i were a woman, I would envy you so much.

You laughed at Aly’s comment.

— I’m serious! — They exclaimed — You’re the only person I know that can make a romantic costume look hot without shortening your skirt or lowering the neckline.

— Thank you, Aly — You said — You’re also rocking. You look simply amazing. The jewellery pieces will compliment the look so much you definitely are going to get Paris Hilton’s blessing.

— Oh, I’m sure I will — They said, smiling — It would be very dumb of her not to choose me as her successor. I mean, I’m thin, I’m blonde and my tan comes straight from Aruba.

— Good that you know — You said.

After you guys took some photos for Aly’s instagram, they started to question you.

— Why don’t we call your Dilf Playboy so that he can see how you look good? — They asked, seated on the armchair beside you. You laughed.

— He is our age, Aly — You tried to guide the conversation — And I can’t show him.

— Why not? Is there anything of yours he hasn't seen yet? No slutshaming obviously.

You laughed loudly.

— Yes, Aly. There are parts of me he hasn’t seen yet — You said — And he is a cheesy motherfucker. Would try to match costumes with me, and then everybody would know about our… thing.

— You can just call it a relationship, you know?

— We are not dating. It’s purely physical.

— Maybe for you and that cold heart of yours — Aly pointed, fidgeting with the hem of their gown.

— I’m not cold hearted — You answered, a bit offended — I just… have more important things. And I don’t want to be in a relationship with him. Things are good the way they are.

— You're really not telling me who your mysterious twink is?

— No, I’m not — You said — At least for now. Maybe after this thing between us end, we can talk shit about him.

— “I’m not cold hearted”, she says — Aly said and rolled their eyes.

You spent some time in silence, watching tv. And then the reality show got interrupted by the news with an interview with Batman.

— Turn the volume up! — Aly exclaimed, worried, since the images were near their father’s work. You did as they asked.

“... The source of the explosion is already being investigated by Red Robin and I, there are no fatal victims and everything will be alright”. Your mind vented. Red Robin. There has been a while since you heard about him. Good to know he is alive. Aly, with a very confused look, turned their head towards you with a devious grin.

— What? — You asked.

— I know why you don’t want to tell me who you’re secretly shagging — They said, leaning towards you. You arche done eyebrow, confused — You’re fucking Batman! — Aly exclaimed as they heard the dark knight voice on the TV. Oh fuck, it was scary how Tim could mimic it almost perfectly — Does he fuck you with the mask on? How big is it?

— What?! No! — You exclaimed, laughing — That man is clearly in his forties, Aly, he could be my father. I’ve told you, he is our age.

— Look, of all the people in this world, you’re the one I’ve least expected to try to gaslight me…

— I’m not, Aly, I swear on my mother’s name.

— I heard his voice, little Y/N. It's Batman!

— No, he’s not! He just is really good at imitating voices — You tried to explain, but Aly wasn’t easily convinced.

— Oh, so he didn’t tell you then — Aly said — I really am a great detective!

— Aly, he is a highschooler — You said, holding their hands — If he was Batman, he would fail every fucking class, and as hard it is for me to admit, he is kinda smart.

— I demand proof.

— What do you want? To see his fucking driver’s licence? Birth certificate? His report card?

— A picture of him will do.

You sighed. There must be a way out of this. You went through your secret gallery, where you kept the pictures you’ve taken together while you engaged in physical activities (you honestly thought it was a bit risky, but you had nothing to lose if these pictures were stolen. Well, maybe your dignity, but at this point you were pretty convinced you’ve already lost it), but they all showed his face or his stomach scar, and Aly had a fucking great memory. They would know it was Tim the second they saw his scar.

— Give me a sec.

You went to the balcony and called for Tim.

— Missing me already? — He asked, his voice echoed. Where the fuck was he that had echo?

— Are you in a cave? — You couldn’t help but ask — Your voice is echoing.

— Oh, I'm in the manor’s gym — He answered.— How can I help you, darling?

— I need a picture of yours — You said, biting your lip nervously — A picture that shows you’re not an old man and that at the same time doesn't show any of your recognizable features.

— That’s a very specific request. May I know why?

— Aly thinks you’re a sugar daddy — You admitted, after a sigh — They’re convinced you’re an old man and I want to prove them wrong. If I don’t, they’ll mock me for eternity.

— You really do hate the idea of having a sugar daddy, don’t you? No one has pampered you enough?I can change that… — He said and you could imagine the grin on his pretty face. Smart ass.

— That’s not the point, Playboy.

— I’ve got you, darling. Remember that picture of us in your bathroom mirror, the one you’re wrapped your legs around my waist?

— The one I asked you to delete? You’ve kept it. Obviously — You said, laughing. You would be mad at him for keeping that picture, but it saved you right now.

— Sorry, I didn’t plan on keeping it, but you look so fucking pretty there that I couldn’t help it.

— That’s okay. Just send it to me, please.

— Sent already, darling.

— Thank you, Playboy.

— You’re welcome, love.

— Bye.

— Kiss you later.

You hung up and walked back into the room. Aly was on the mirror step again and Fabio was back with the pins.

You got in Tim’s chat and opened the photo.

He was right, it was a good photo, but you didn’t want him to have it because of the way you looked at him in it. Too intimate. He was standing with his back turned to your mirror, his wet hair kinda messy and some water droplets sliding on his bruised back. You were being held by him, your legs wrapped around his waist and his hands cupping your ass (gently squeezing, actually, but no one could tell it by the picture), one of your hands grabbing his shoulders, your red nail polish in contrast with his fair skin. You were the one holding the phone and, with your hair wet and slight back, you looked at his smile with flustered cheeks and a sweet smile. Too fucking intimate.

At least, neither his face nor his scars known to the public were showing.

— If you ever say he is old again, Alysanne Taylor Lewis, I’m going to beat your ass — You started getting closer to them. Aly got the phone from your hand and you were not worried that they could get out of the photo and try to discover his identity. You trusted Aly.

— Damn, y/n, you are aggressive in bed — They said, zooming in on Tim's bruises — Nobody would bet on that by looking at your face… always the quiet ones…

— I didn’t do it — You laughed — He got in a fight with his brothers.

— Romeo? — Fabio asked, looking at the photo too. Aly nodded — His back seems incredibly familiar. Weird. I know these measures from someone…

— Maybe you’ve tailored something for him — Aly said, giving your phone back to you — She calls him “Playboy”, so he is certainly on your client’s list.

Fabio looked at you.

— I have no idea, maybe he is — You said, looking at the picture again. Even though Tim was filthy rich, you couldn’t picture him wearing hand made suits. The boy literally showed up at your house wearing jeans and a Flash merch sweater.

— That look on your face — Aly said — Are you sure you’re not in love with him?

— Shut up, Alysanne.

— Maybe Red Robin finally found his match in the competition for your heart. Who would say, a hero and a twink… I guess you don’t really have a type.

You didn’t answer, as you kept looking at your face on the picture before deleting it.

You were not going to let him crawl his way into your heart.

#timothy drake #tim drake #tim drake x reader #tim drake smut #red robin x y/n #red robin headcanon #red robin x reader #red robin fanfic #batboys fanfic #batboys x you #batfamily #batboys x reader #Spotify

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sing-you-fools · 6 months

Text

up until now the kittens have been in one little room we had closed off for them. their mama (not sure of her name but we were calling her reeses cup or just mama cat) was with us too, we were still looking for an owner at first, but it was getting cold to leave them outside all the time so we took them all in while we looked.

we finally gave up on finding an existing owner, but we kept having people who "might want mama kitty" and took a while to find out if they were allowed. none of them were, and unfortunately our other cat, Zoomy, is not particularly cool with the existence of other cats, so while we figured she'd eventually reluctantly accept the kittens, she wasn’t gonna take another adult. we knew this from experience.

we took mama (and daddy kitty,* who wasn’t with them all the time but kept showing up and screaming at our doors at random times, just all "hey i'm horny lemme in," and happened to show up at just the right time today) to the shelter today. it was sad. (not sad about daddy, he wasn’t basically our cat for a month even if he seemed really nice other than all the screaming, but mama was the sweetest brightest orange cat and we will miss her.)

my kid suddenly realized she was gonna miss reeses cup as soon we got them out of the car at the shelter. she wanted to carry her (not too heavy, but too wobbly to feel confident, as it turns out). she looked like she was about to cry. I told her i'd miss her too, and it’s okay to be sad. she was amazed that i could tell she was sad. girl, you are doing this 🥺

anyway. now that mama isn't here, the kittens have been allowed out of the little room they've been in with their mom. which means that, though they've met her in passing, they suddenly have to deal with...

the Zoomcat.

(you know. the other cat, Zoomy, who i mentioned earlier. this shouldn’t be surprising information or anything i'm just a dramatic bitch.)

Ghost is being SO brave. my husband thought she was the most scared, but i'm convinced she just doesn't really like being picked up or most ways of petting. i think she will be a "sit near you" cat. she doesn't run away once she realizes you're not going for her. she's not scared. she was the first one with a paw out the door once we opened it. she's the one who stares down Zoomy. she is also, we are pretty sure, the one who start all the fights between the three of them. Bat and Pumpkin don't seem to fight on their own, but they both fight with her and the three of them will all fight together.

i see three paths for Ghost. she could rule the house with an iron fist, getting even Zoomy under her rule. she could just be a strong independent kitty who doesn't really need anyone else but does actually very much want to know what you're doing and would do really well as a solo kitty for someone who's not home a lot or just wants a cat they can hang out with and talk to but who won't climb on them or want to sit on them or be picked up (no disrespect in the in the notes to these people, some people get overstimulated but like cats and want companionship) and in this case omg i am going to bother this cat so much because if this is her we are kindred spirits. you can't go be a solo kitty you will be MY kitty and i'm gonna give you so many kisses. or. OR. she ends up too actually fighty and actually needs to go be a solo kitten. i do not want this. i would be so sad. i love her so much.

they're all doing well out here. i'm just so proud of Ghost. here's a picture i managed to get of her on the stairs 🙃

it was so easy to get pictures of them before but now they have a whole house to escape to! i always loved that Mitch Hedberg bit:

My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter. And I don't want 'em to. I'm like, 'Hey, hold on fellas - Let me hold one of you.'

well, now i am living it. hey, hold on babies - lemme take a decent picture of one of you.

#*we know he is daddy because they are ALL orange #they ALL have his eyes #bat looks JUST like him #the monsters #kittens #zoombini the cat #ghost the cat #sing-you-fools

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queen-scribbles · 1 year

Text

Tradition

I blame @storyknitter and @greyias for this but didn’t really take much convincing. And bonus, it’s done for Theron Thursday!

---

The sweater was, beyond any doubt, one of the most ridiculous things Briyoni had ever seen. Bright red background, tinsel woven into the green collar and cuffs, the chest emblazoned with a massive kybuck wearing a red drooping hat and heart shaped sunglasses made of sequins.

In short, it was amazing.

She was so caught up in grinning at this marvel of Life Day fashion, her focus on the surroundings slipped until a voice murmured in her ear, “Little off course, aren’t we, Colonel?”

Bry flinched, her elbow starting to jerk back before the familiarity of the voice--and the cologne its owner was wearing--hit her. “One of these days, Jonas, I’m gonna actually break your ribs when you do that, and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.”

Jonas laughed. “Only in my reflexes completely fail me.” He didn’t move, the heat of him close enough to feel against her back. “As I was saying, aren’t you a little far from where you need to be?”

“Yeah, but enjoying Life Day kitsch is more fun than shopping for food,” she grinned, leaning back against his chest as she held up her find.

He snorted. “Are you seriously gonna buy that?”

“Hell, yeah. For Vica.” Bry shifted to see his expression on the pause and it was exactly as good as she expected. “Whaddya think, babe, would she wear it, or just thank me politely and stick it in her closet, never to see the light of day?”

“I think you have a better chance of getting her to wear it than anyone else,” Jonas said with a smirk, scanning the other sweater designs. “You realize if you give her that, I’m morally obligated to give Shan this one.” He pulled one free and held it up-- mirrored white tauntaun silhouettes forming “snowflakes” on a dark blue background. “What would you call this? Taun-flakes?”

She shook her head, not even trying to fight her smile. “Not his colors, he won’t wear th-”

“Oh, sure, that’s why,” Jonas snarked.

Bry rolled her eyes at his interruption. “It’s not ugly enough anyway. You gotta commit on somethin’ like this, Jo. Here.” She shoved the kybuck sweater into his hands and started digging through the rack. “Ah, here we go-” She teetered when she started to straighten.

“Careful, gorgeous,” Jonas chuckled, catching her arm. The chuckle turned to a full blown laugh when he saw what she’d found.

The sweater was a darker red than the one for her sister, with black collar, hem, and cuffs. Snow-capped mountains and volcanic steam vents alternated in a pattern around the sleeves and waist, the upper portion of the chest dominated by a wampa with arms raised and a giant white pompom nose. The words ‘Hoth Stuff’ were embroidered over the steam vents to the right and left of the beast.

“Oh. My-” His shoulders shook trying to hold back the full force of warranted laughter. He only partially succeeded. “Briyoni, you know there’s no way in hell he’ll wear that, right? I don’t have that much blackmail material on him.”

“Vic batting her eyes and saying please might work,” Bry drawled.

Jonas snorted a laugh. “The look on his face might be worth the price of admission, though.” Dug for the tag. “...Fifty credits... yeah, that’ll pay off.”

“Found one for you, too, handsome,” Bry teased, rocking the hanger on her fingers. “You both think you’re funny.” She grinned innocently as Jonas looked over the sweater, grey and patterned with gift boxes.

“‘Ugly Life Day Sweater’,” he read off in a drawl before shooting her a flat look. “Cute. But no. I’ll be taking the taun-flakes if I’m getting one and my tastes don’t pass muster for Theron.”

“I told you, babe, it’s not ugly enough. You have to go all in on gifts like this.” She gestured dramatically at their growing collection of sweaters.

“In that case I can’t wait to see what you picked out for yourself.”

Her grin widened. She’d been waiting for him to ask. “First, bold of you to assume anything will look ugly on me-”

“No arguments here.”

“-Second...” She presented the sweater with a flourish. Green and gold patterned with repeating Republic capital ship outlines, jinglers on the cuffs, and faux-ribbon crisscrossing to a bow dead center on the chest.

Jonas shot her an amused look. “Bry. Darling. That’s three sizes too big for you.”

“It’s the only size they have left. All the better to lounge around in”--she winked--”without pants.”

He grinned and wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her close. “In that case, do I get to joke about unwrapping my Life Day present when you wear it?” he murmured in her ear.

Bry let out a giggle-snort. “Once. And not in front of my sister and her husband.”

“Aw, you’re no fun.” The glint in his eye gave lie to the words. “Once per day you wear it.”

“Deal.” The complaint might be a little more believable if they weren’t staring down the barrel of their seventh anniversary. He found her plenty fun and she knew it. “Now, I guess we should go be responsible adults and see how much of our budget is left for food.”

“Guess we should...” He stole a kiss. “If we want to be responsible.”

“More like if we wanna eat this week,” Bry retorted. “Dunno if you noticed, Balkar, but the kitchen’s pretty empty an’ we aren’t heading to Odessen for another four or five days. How do you survive when I’m not here?”

“Moping and takeaway, mostly,” Jonas deadpanned. “And you say that like you were any better when you were based here.”

“Oh, hush, you,” she grumbled around a grin, then linked her hand with his to head for the food sections. The weight of the sweaters they carried triggered an anticipatory giggle.

Can’t wait to see Vica’s face.

---

Briyoni was up to something. Even with the brief time they’d been reunited, Vica could tell that much, and she didn’t even need to Force to do it. And if the grins they kept exchanging were any sort of clue, her husband was in on it. Which was unsurprising, and had Theron’s suspicions raised as well--higher than Vica’s own.

She should know to trust his instincts by now. But believing the best of people was her fatal flaw, and it extended to even less life or death matters. Like sibling plots.

“So, Vic, we have somethin’ for you,” Briyoni said, with the too-bright smile of troublemakers the galaxy over.

“It’s not Life Day yet,” Vica pointed out warily. “And the Alliance party isn’t until tomorrow.”

“All the more reason to give it to you now.” Her sister’s smile had gone more sly, and Vica could practically feel Theron’s eyes narrowing without looking at him. Bry held up two gift boxes. “Pink’s for you, silver’s for your spy boy.” She shot Theron a grin, which was matched by Jonas as he draped an arm around Bry’s shoulders.

“You shouldn’t have,” Theron deadpanned, handling the box as if it were a bomb when Vica passed it to him.

“Oh, yes, we should.” The words came from Briyoni and Jonas in unison, as if they’d guessed his response and practiced. "Only the best for the man with my sister’s best interest at heart,” Briyoni’s smile was just a tad sharp and Jonas hid a laugh--badly--in a cough.

Vica settled her gift in her lap, tore the paper just enough to get it open, and couldn’t bite back a reactionary giggle at the sunglass-wearing kybuck that greeted her. “Really, Briyoni?”

Her sister grinned. “Really, Vica. Don’t tell me the Jedi never participate in the long and glorious tradition of ugly sweaters for Life Day.”

Vica opened her mouth, several responses vying for prominence. Starting with Jedi having their own holiday traditions, this was a ridiculous sweater, and ending with a reminder Odessen was temperate and they didn’t need to dress so warmly, but she didn’t get to say any of them because Theron got his box open.

“No,” he said flatly, shooting a dirty look at the matched smirks on the couch opposite. “Absolutely not.”

Briyoni and Jonas both burst into laughter, I told you escaping from him as the two struggled to rein themselves in.

“How bad...?” Vica asked, turning to Theron. He tipped the box so she could see the wampa sweater. She covered her mouth with one hand to hide the smile. “Oh, my. Mine’s not quite so... detailed.” She pulled the kybuck sweater out of the box to show him. It was surprisingly soft for such a ridiculous garment.

“Cute,” Theron drawled, then glowered at Briyoni and Jonas again. “I’m not wearing this.”

Vica, however, pulled her on as they needled him about his obstinacy. Mostly curious if it was soft as it seemed. But a little because there was a smug note to Briyoni’s sense that doubted her straight-laced sister would wear something so silly and Vica wanted to prove her wrong.

Jonas tossed her an approving grin, then looked back at Theron. “Not even to keep your wife and Commander from sticking out like a sore thumb?”

“You say that like the two of you aren’t planning to wear similar abominations,” Theron retorted dryly.

“Guilty,” Jonas shrugged. “But that shouldn’t get in the way of you showing solidarity.”

Theron’s scowl at his friend deepened, but Vica sensed the moment of wavering before he shook his head. “I have stuff to do. That’s actually helpful.” He pushed to his feet and left the room.

“I think you could talk him around,” Briyoni said cheerfully, grinning at Vica. “Gotta say, sis, wasn’t sure you’d actually wear that.”

“It’s comfortable,” Vica said, straight-faced but feeling a smile tug her lips. She brushed her fingers over the sequins. “And it would be rude to refuse a gift.”

“They are fun to unwrap,” Jonas commented blithely, then snickered when Briyoni dug her elbow into his ribs.

Vica didn’t figure out why until the following day.

---

The box with the wampa sweater sat on their bed, studiously ignored by Theron as he slouched on the sofa, datapad in hand.

Vica smiled at the sight; the box sitting out in the open rather than crammed in a drawer spoke to her suspicion being correct.

“Can you believe them? Giving that as a gift?” Theron asked when he heard her enter, not looking up from whatever report he was reading.

“Knowing my sister and her husband even a little, yes.” Vica keyed the door closed and joined him. “I’m more surprised that you’re surprised, honestly.”

He grunted noncommittally.

Vica twisted a loose bit of hair around her finger. “They think I could talk you into wearing it.”

Now the datapad lowered, and Theron met her gaze with a sheepish half-smile. “In all honesty, there’s good odds you could.” I have trouble telling you no.

“But I won’t.” She laced her fingers between his and squeezed his hand. “Not if it’s something you genuinely don’t want to do.”

He stared at their hands a moment, then raised them to kiss her fingers. “That’s something I’ve always loved about you, y’know.”

“What?”

“You let people make their own choices.” He settled their hands back in his lap. “There’s prob’ly, what, half a dozen ways at least you could make people agree with you, do what you want, but you don’t. You let them make their own calls. Good or bad.”

Vica shrugged. “Freedom is important.”

They sat in silence for a moment before Theron spoke again. “That sweater really is ridiculous....”

She traced her finger idly around his knuckles and waited.

“...but I guess that’s the point of holiday parties, isn’t it? Being a little ridiculous?”

“It’s up to you,” she said mildly.

“They’re gonna get holos.” He raked his fingers through his hair.

“So we make good memories to go with them.” Vica leaned in to kiss his temple. “If you want.”

She could sense his internal conflict--and which side was winning.

“...Guess I’ll stand out more if I’m not wearing one....” Theron sighed. “I’ll wear the blasted thing.”

“Yeah?” Vica let the smile she’d been burying spread across her face. It would be good for him to do something fun. And she’d think he was cute regardless.

“Yeah.” He tugged on her hand and Vica obliged by straddling his lap, his arms settling around her waist. “Someone has to distract people from that monstrosity you’re wearing, might as well be me.”

She laughed quietly and ran her fingers through his hair. “Your commander appreciates the heroic sacrifice, Agent Shan.”

Theron arched a brow at the kybuck’s pink sequin sunglasses, then tilted his head back. “Looking at that sweater makes it real hard to take you seriously,” he murmured.

“Then stop looking at my sweater,” Vica returned, one hand cupping the back of his neck.

He laughed a Sure thing, Commander and kissed her just as deep as she’d been hoping.

---

Bry had to admit, the look on Vica’s face upon registering her sweater’s gift-box design in conjunction with Jonas’ comment from the day before was almost worth him breaking the terms of their deal.

“So, going by that smirk, am I forgiven?” Jonas teased. He handed her a cup of punch, then choked on a drink of his own when he caught where she was looking. “Sweet spires of Taris, I don’t believe it.”

She laughed. “I’d think you were uniquely qualified to know the persuasive powers of a Nerai woman.”

“Touché,” he grinned. “ Help me wrangle them for a group holo?”

“Obviously. We need evidence this happened in case they try to deny it,” she grinned back, and they headed toward Vica and Theron, snagging Vette along the way to do the honors.(Jonas didn’t help matters greeting Theron with “Hey Hoth Stuff” and a shit-eating grin)

It took some cajoling, and a few tries to get right--not that the outtakes weren’t golden. The finished product, however--her and Jonas with arms around each others’ shoulders and Vica smiling brighter than the holo-tree behind them as Theron kissed the top of her head--had Bry thinking maybe this needed to become a new Life Day tradition.

Now she just had to convince her sister.

#queens fic #briyoni nerai #jonas balkar #brykar #vica nerai #theron shan #vica/theron #otp: better company #theron thursday #swtor #the four of them are SO FUN to write together oh my gooooooood

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whitesandbrowns · 10 months

Text

Day 1

1/100 | 17.07.23

Woke up around 6 today. Worked out. Though almost killed myself doing basic beginniner level day 1 workout. My arms are still paining. And i didn't even finish a whole pushup. Ugh.

Had some toast for the breakfast. I watched ruby's video while having breakfast. She is that one person who always makes me wanna do anything in my life with more passion and love towards it.

Then started working. Had good time at work mostly. Had weekly team meeting today as its monday. I am happy to see some progression over packaging design thing. I think we will be able to close it this week, at least from my side.

A tremendously funny thing happened to me today. I dont even know what to call it. So i was working at home till late noon, so after that i thought let's go to my fav cafe to have some mint tea and just work there. So i packed literally everything, went there and then i realized i didnt have my phone there. I left it at home as it was on charging.

But i was like, its okay, the cafe Still has the wifi. I dont need to worry much. I hardly use my phone anyway. But my dearest luck, had different plans. Even the wifi was not working there that time. The owner knew me so she was kind enough to offer her own hotspot but it also didn't get connected. The amazing bad luck i had. And meanwhile all of this, i already had ordered tea so i could not do anything but just wait for the tea to get its flavour and cool down a little bit so i can drink it. But i tried to stay calm and sketched out the cafe, did not turn out like i wanted to but i still did pretty good. Will share it tomorrow

I got home and studied for a while on tangible interaction design and as part of the example there ws this marble answering machine and i absolutely loved the idea. I havent even started the course yet but i can tell for sure how amazing it is going to be. I think i ak gonna finish these courses only as of july. And from august i will start preparing according bhanu's calender.

In my break time i saw this kid on youtube short and immediately fell in love with the parenting. I know for a fact she i gonna grow up to be an amazing person. Kudos to the parents who understands it is an individual they afe raising and not just some part of their own which they need to protect and pamper. Kudos to the kimonomom

and then i mostly slept and skipped dinner as i was not hungry. Thought went out to have ice cream with my dad before going to meet my grandma. She is not so well right now but i hope she gets well soon and gets stronger than ever.

Came home and had a call with my boyfriend while i did a little work and then focused on him, and had a great time talking to him.

Then i did some face massage with gua sha and jade roller. I didnt take a shower today because didnt feel like it. I hope i wake up early tomorrow. Root for me, will ya?

I think this day was overall not as productive. I felt sleepy for most of the part, i need to come up with better sleep routine but other than that, all good. I am happy. Confident. Hopeful.

See you guys tomorrow.

Love,

#studyspo #studyblr #dark academia #study inspiration #study motivation #100 days of studying #100 days of self discipline #100 days of getting better #100 days of productivity #100 days challenge

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yakuly · 1 year

Text

⍉ 𝒫𝒶𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝒞𝓇𝒾𝓂𝑒 ⍉

Cicero...

❤️ Chapter: Cicero...

❤️ Words: 1.223

❤️ Warnings: fight, cursing, mention of sex, sex, murder, blood, death, shooting, gun, shooting gun.

❤️A/N: Posting once again since tumblr hates me. But anyway, enjoy!

Do not be silly. I might even have liked Charlie, after all, he knew how to appreciate the great star and woman that I am… The problem is, he thought it was a good idea to appreciate my sister. As if she were as excellent as I am…

Cicero!

I knew I was destined for greatness from a very young age, but it all started to take on big proportions when I turned 15. Yes, my body had already started to develop more than other girls, so I attracted more attention from boys. I realized that I got some favors if I wore more revealing clothes, and I have to be honest, the feeling of power that these little moments gave me was indescribable!

My sister, Veronica, didn't have a voluptuous body, but she had charisma and charm, and she also managed a few things in her favor, just by blinking her beautiful eyes and leaning in slightly. Basic flirting.

Our father wasn't a flower that smelled, and our mother we didn't know, so I had to start working early. But no place wanted a 15-year-old girl with huge cleavage and tight skirts to work. None but "Chicago's Fire Ball". I started at the bottom, of course, but waiting tables just wasn't for me. So I soon learned to dance like the women there, I learned to sing, and then I worked my way up to the stage.

Cicero!

I had a conversation with the owner of the bar, and he assured me that if Elô, the "head" of the dancers, approved, I could be on stage. It was then that I had a brilliant idea: what could be better than one me, dancing? Two 'I'!

That day, I came home, made my sister my copy - a lesser version of me, but still similar enough - and taught her one of the choreographies that I memorized just by looking at it, adding acrobatics in the sequences. The next day we had a job.

On that day, "The Kelly Sisters" was born. Two perfect girls dancing as one. We were identical, perfectly in sync, flexible, and on top of that, we were hot. We gained fame fast, and then we were in every bar and club that called us. We slept with every man (and even women) until I met Charlie.

Cicero!

Charlie became some kind of partner and adviser. He was amazing! Hot, good-looking, ambitious, and most importantly, he was obsessed with me. He always made comments about how I was doing, and how he would like to "fuck me right". Yeah, I liked being appreciated as I should.

So we were called to perform at a big bar, and we stayed at the nearest hotel, Cícero, just until the show started. We bought drinks to celebrate, and we stayed in my room.

Veronica brought out some specialty cigarettes, and we were making the most of it. We talked about everything, which was pretty much nothing for someone sober, and Charlie kept his kisses and groping blatant and sassy.

We ran out of ice, and as we all know, I'm the real star, so I should be at least a little soberer than Veronica, so I volunteered to go to the big shed behind the building to get some more.

I put on my robe and went. It ended up taking a little longer than expected, as a group of men met me on my way, and mind you, they were fans! I shouldn't leave them thumb-sucking when they see… well when they see me! I answered them calmly, I laughed charmingly, and I let them touch me discreetly, but not deliberately, I invited them to go watch at the bar, and then I went to my room.

Cicero!

That's when I found them. Charlie and Veronica were rehearsing one of our acts, apparently number 17, the "inverted eagle".

While Charlie was sitting in the chair, with his pants down, Veronica balanced herself, with her hands on the man's thighs, head down, sucking him, while keeping her legs wide open, so that he could also suck her.

Cicero!

To say I lost my mind is putting it mildly. I slammed the door, and pushed Veronica's legs, making her fall to the floor.

"What the hell is that?!" I spit in disbelief. The ice bucket that was in my hands, soon flew towards the two, who were trying to protect themselves, cover themselves and hold on at the same time, not getting much of anything.

"Calm down Soyeon!" The bitch who shares the stage said, eliciting a snarky laugh from me.

"Calm down?! How long have you guys been fucking? Huh?!" I confess that I started screaming while throwing everything I saw ahead at the two.

"We've never…" Charlie tried to say, but it was obvious I was lying. They probably followed the stunt sequence, in the perfect order. I remembered that he carried a pistol for 'our protection', I run towards it, and as soon as I take it from his suitcase, I point it at the two, who are trying to protect themselves without success.

"Soyeon, think about it…" Once again my sister speaks, with her hands raised, but seeing her skirt falling, made me angrier than before.

"Think? Think about what? How you two were fucking behind my back this whole time?!" I ask, shocking even myself with my outward calm. My blood boiled, but my handheld was still like a rock.

"You forget that I created you. I created you." I look at my sister before continuing to speak, already deciding what needs to be done. "I made you a copy of me. A very nasty and less hot copy of me!" I let out a snarky laugh, seeing the tears roll down my sister's face, and Charlie calculating how long he had to get out of there.

Not a lot.

"I am the real attraction! I'm the one they want!" I say, unlocking the gun, watching them both freeze in place. "you've always been a setback in my life. I hope the fuck was worth it."

Cicero!

I don't know how many times I fired, but I know it was enough to get my face dirty, more than half of the room, and still draw attention from the whole hotel. I need to be quick, so I practically fly to my suitcase, stuffing all the clothes that were outside, and hiding the gun among the pieces. I put on an overcoat over my clothes, and I run out of the hotel and run to the bar where the performance was going to take place.

I never needed Veronica, and it won't be now that that fucker is going to pass me by.

I keep walking, taking some shortcuts and alleys. When I arrive, I'm late, so I can only hide the bag and wash my hands with their blood and introduce myself.

Cicero!

When I reach the backstage of the bar, I'm late, and I run so I can get on stage on cue. That's when I realize my hands are dark, dirty, and sticky.

Blood. In my hand. Veronica and Charlie's blood. They died. I killed them…

I don't have time to focus on that, so I get onstage, and I'm even sexier and hotter than ever. The audience is more receptive than ever, I can feel everything. But you can hear the sirens - lots of sirens - approaching the place. And I knew there was no more time.

I enjoyed every minute of that performance, and when I'm done, I see the cops walk in the front door, and they point those guns at me. In the end, I am taken under thousands of flashes of journalists who arrived at the bar seconds later, I may even be arrested, but I never lose a single moment under the spotlight.

Cicero!

[Transcript of Defendant's Apprehension]

I think that's enough rambling, what's your name?

Don't you know my name baby? Damn, I'm going to be upset…

Ma'am, please just tell me your name.

Jeon Soyeon, baby!

And how old are you?

But my God! Is that something you ask a lady? Where are your manners?!

Your age, my lady?

23, and if you put your sarcasm aside, we can have some fun, what do you think?

Ma'am, please cover up. Anyway, why are you being arrested?

Because I shot my sister and my husband, but don't worry, I'm harmless to you!

And what was your lady's motivation?

They both thought it was a good idea to cheat on me. Do you think it was a good idea for them to fuck behind my back, baby?

Okay, okay… how do you declare?

What do you think? Innocent. They should know better than that!

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fuckinorangecat · 7 months

Text

diary 25/09/2023

HELLO again. I have to write about the rest of last week so lemme do that real quick.

I was instantly invited to eat out for dinner on wednesday after my escapades in Osaka. Glad to know people appreciate my wonderful self as much as I do (For all purposes this is a joke). It was scheduled to happen on the wednesday. But with a great stroke of luck, I got sick the day before on the tuesday!!! Great news. It was very strange at least, everything just hurt. I'm pretty sure it was some form of covid or influenza because there was an outbreak at school. On the day of beckoning it got 500 times worse, tuesday was just the starter. Idk how I survived that day but I'm pretty sure I had some lessons which required my most genki self but I managed. I still went to the dinner too, it was a pleasant taiwanese in my town so it was local. Although by the end of the night I'm pretty sure I died. I got straight home and the muscle pain got way worse, I slept at 8pm and woke up in cold sweat at midnight to the weirdest phenomenon. I physically couldn't get up. I had the craziest headache and heaviness that I can't even begin to describe. It was like an invisible weight made up of all my stress and fears. Genuinely one of the worst feelings I've ever suffered. It got much better the next day and I was able to do my lessons fine. Kids always ask what shampoo I use or my hair routine. I love them as this validates my being immensely. On the weekend I got invited out by the geography teacher in my school. We get along cause we're both around the same age, I'm 24, he's 25. Although interestingly, he didn't speak any English and I no Japanese. We used google translate all night and drank forever lol. We first went to a izakaya with an open grill. Dude in front cooked all our food in front of us, was cool as hell. I had cartilage for the first time, like in yakitori form. Opinion? Try it once, never again. It wasn't even bad, just anything and everything is better. Oh yeah, on the way to the Izakaya I was spotted by some cute students who showed me from a distance that they were holding hands. I was like WOAAAH Couple!!! So fuckin' cute. YOUTH. I told the geography teacher and he explained there was a growth in student couples because of sports day. DOUBLE CUTE. Love the kids. After eating and drinking a bunch we went to a american styled bar. Super cool, apparently it opened in the 80s so it's fucking old. We ate pizza, fish and chips and carbonara. Strangely great bar food, well not the pizza it just kept falling apart. "Master" as the japanese call the bar's owner and I spoke the whole night. Of course they always ask about ex-girlfriends. He shared with me his escapades in America, of course including his sex stories with american women. Amazing. I told him my age and he instantly showed me his daughter who was the same age. The pictures he chose were interesting because she had about two pieces of clothing on, wonderfully liberal I suppose. More than I expected in the Japanese countryside. BUT ANYWAY We finish up the night, drunken say goodbye to my geography teacher, and walked home where i instantly fell asleep. oh yeah we exchanged instagram with the fuckin bar master lol, amazing.

I then spent my sunday bingeing sex education (it's good), which made me depressed and think about a certain someone I won't ever share with another human soul and then I went to sleep. I was depressed today because of it but then I magically became better? I attributed it initially to covid/influenza but I then read something that just made me feel better. I refuse to elaborate.

Goodnight.

Love

#diary #txt #thoughts #personal

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azuisreading · 9 months

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Make Your Move by Heather Garvin

Abbie Linley loves her small-town life. Leaving for college may be the next step for her friends, but she’s not ready to walk away from the horses. She’d happily keep her world the same, but everything around her seems to be changing. Starting with her gruff, new farrier. Carson Daniels’s only job is to shoe horses, but he gets more than he bargained for when he shows up at the Linley’s barn. The last thing he needs is to get distracted by the owner’s beautiful daughter—even if she’s the only good thing he can say about Florida. It would never work. She has a boyfriend. And he’s leaving. Between his dry sense of humor and her ever-growing realization that her boyfriend isn’t all he’s cracked up to be, Abbie and Carson can’t seem to stay away from each other. Abbie thought she had realistic expectations about love. Carson went and raised the bar on all of them. She would never ask him to stay for her. He won’t ask her to go with him. But they’ll make the most of the time they have left. It’s only one summer, but maybe that’s okay—maybe they can put it all behind them. Or maybe it will fuel a love they could never forget.

Review

I was part of the ARC team of Heather Garvin again, with this amazing book this time, and I’m so grateful for this opportunity and to have met such a lovely and understanding person. I’m writing this review because I loved the book and everyone who likes those topics and tropes (and maybe some people that not) should read it.

I’m not even going to sugarcoat it, I loved Carson at first encounter. I already had some spoiler-y sights of him before getting to start reading, so I knew I was going to love him anyway.

The one thing that surprised me, after all those stories I had read and all those ARC teams I have been in, is that the story was only in Abbie’s POV. And it was refreshing. It makes me remember how real life works, which is kind of weird, I know. But worked to put some things in perspective.

We really need to communicate in a healthy way. Yeah, I know that seems to be the only thing I talk about, but it’s a need to prioritize it. Just talking about things and communicating aren’t the same things, and we saw it here with Abbie and Seth and Carson. If we aren’t honest with our intentions, we can’t really make a lot of things work, and though there are a lot of details that can (or not) help, communication is always a good, if not great, way.

I understood Abbie during the first part because, well, the situation was close to my heart, I have lived through that more times than I would like (zero, that is), but I didn’t suffer there. I would have pretty much liked for her to pass some time alone before going headfirst to the second part, but I also understand when emotions and feelings are going around, it’s healthier to just hear them out. She had a part when she acknowledged it, so for it, I’m not leaning heavily on it. She knew better than me what was better for her, didn’t she? I suffered during the second part.

It’s that, from the start, the story, the setting, and the characters are telling you, screaming to you, what’s going to happen. And even when I wanted the opposite, I’m no one to change the course of a story that’s already written. I didn’t want it to happen, but I have no force to stop it, so I suffered and accepted it, and it was hard anyway. The toughest part was when you discover that what you always thought will happen, don’t happen. Of course, I was happy! Thrilled! But I couldn’t help but think that all the emotions I brewed during the whole story were wasted! Why did they make me suffer that way when the story was going to end how I like them to do?!

Well, that’s how you know you like a story, right?

Phrases that I liked so much that I marked them while reading

«Horseback riding fuels my soul, but as I run my hands through my sweat-soaked hair, I can’t help envying those with cooler passions—physically cooler. There are endless hobbies I could have chosen. Not something like cliff diving or wakeboarding. And I’m down for the count when it comes to anything that requires me throwing a ball, but I’m sure with a little time I could have found something. Who am I kidding? Riding is in my blood. It’s what I live and breathe, and even though I spend most of my days drenched in sweat, I wouldn’t have it any other way.» — One.

«I swear he gives me a dubious look, but I might be projecting my own concerns.» — One.

«“What? Can’t a guy think his girlfriend is gorgeous?”» — One.

«My mother may not love her laugh lines, but they’re one of my favorite things about her. They make her look as genuine as she is. I mean, who wouldn’t want to look like they’ve had a lifetime of laugher?» — One.

«“I just find it strange you two haven’t discussed what you’ll do once he leaves.” It is strange, but I don’t want to be the one to bring it up. I’m not the one leaving.» — One.

«He raises his eyebrows like he’s asking if his answer is good enough. I don’t know if it’s good enough.» — Two.

«His lips quirk ever so slightly, and a sense of accomplishment fills me for making him almost smile.» — Two.

«Seth may be good-looking in the boy-next-door, eat-your-heart-out kind of way, but Carson looks like the type of guy who could make a woman’s knees weak with a single glance. I’m assuming. Definitely not speaking from experience.» — Two.

«Mom beams at us, oblivious to the tension thickening the air. I wonder if Carson can feel it. It’s probably in my head.» — Two.

«“What do you think you could use?” He forces air out through his nose. “Being left alone.” I let out a breath of laughter. “I think I invited you to the wrong place. I’ve never seen Christina give someone her undivided attention.” A low laugh escapes him as he looks down and shakes his head. “I’m good.” I gape at him. “You’re good? You did see her, right?” He nods without looking at me. “I did.” “She’s gorgeous,” I say, not bothering to hide my shock. “She is.” “So, what’s the problem?” He looks at me with enough focus to make me falter. I expect him to say something, but he doesn’t. He just looks at me, and the sound of the crackling flames gradually gets drowned out by my hammering heart. After what can only be described as the most intense silence of my life, he simply says, “She’s not my type.”» — Four.

«The way he’s watching me makes me feel like he’s been waiting for me to look up, and as soon as our eyes lock, he nods towards his truck. “I’ll take you home.”» — Five.

«Carson nods before picking up his pitchfork and getting back to work. “I like it.” “You do?” He glances at me. “Why wouldn’t I?” I don’t want to give him another reason not to like Seth, so I just shrug. “You don’t strike me as a kid person.” It’s not the truth I was thinking, but it’s certainly not a lie either. Carson lets out a real laugh, and the sound of it makes me grin. “Kids love me.” “Are you sure?” I ask with a crinkle of my nose. “Maybe they just didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”» — Seven.

«“You don’t have to tell me what’s bothering you, but I want you to know that you can, okay? […] Just know I’m here.”» — Ten.

«“Fat and lazy.” “Fat and happy,” she corrects.» — Twelve.

«“Tell me everything.” “What about Zumba?” “Forget Zumba. Tell me everything.” “Where are you going now?” “I have no idea, but this building has chairs in it.” She drops her voice to a whisper. “I just can’t start yelling about how much I wish that asshole would fall off his horse. They might kick me out.” “Probably,” I say with a laugh.» — Twelve.

«He was my boyfriend, but he didn’t contribute to making my life better. If anything, not having to worry about him these past few days has felt like a break I didn’t know I needed.» — Twelve.

«Laughter bubbles in my throat, but I do my best to keep it down. “You’re dumb,” I finally say. “You like it,” he answers.» — Seventeen.

«“We should really throw some of these away.” I gently pull on a faded and dirty yellow Walk-Trot ribbon from when I was younger. Her eyes widen. “I would never.”» — Eighteen.

«It probably can’t compete with the trails in Tennessee,” I offer, assuming that’s what he was thinking. Glancing over his shoulder, he smiles. “Not even close,” he says, and when he turns back around, he adds, “I wish I could show you.” My heart flutters, but I do my best to brush it off. “Yeah.” Looking up, I take in the sunlit trees. “But Florida has its beauty, too.” I look at him. He has one hand resting on the back of the saddle as he looks back at me.» — Twenty-One.

«“I stopped riding because it wasn’t fun anymore, but I thought if I went with you, it might be fun again.”» — Twenty-One.

«“Or you could stay.” Carson’s voice sounds behind me, his arm reaching over my shoulder as he hangs his bridle next to mine.» — Twenty-Two.

«Sometimes as much as you want something to work, it just doesn’t. Trying to force it will only delay the inevitable.» — Twenty-Two.

«“My life back home is a mess, Abbie. I’m the one who messed it up, and I’m the one who needs to fix it.”» — Twenty-Two.

«“It will be fun,” I try to reassure myself. Carson looks over at me, a dubious eyebrow raised. “You think?” “Maybe.” I get up from the table and head back over to my pile of potatoes. “You probably won’t have to worry about it. It’s a couple of weeks away. You might not be here.” “I’ll be here.” “But you don’t even know the date—“ “I said I’ll be here,” he says, locking his eyes on me.» — Twenty-Six.

«But we can’t always get what we want. Sometimes we have to take what we don’t want and make the best of it.» — Twenty-Eight.

«“It’ll be fine.” “Yeah,” I say as I follow him. “That’s what everyone says before they walk into a murder den.”» — Twenty-Eight.

«“I can’t dance,” I say desperately as he pulls me along. “That’s okay.” He squeezes my hand in his. “I can.”» — Twenty-Eight.

«“I knew he was leaving,” I say as I turn back to the mirror. “That doesn’t mean it hurts any less.”» — Thirty-Two.

«He stares down at me and swallows hard. “How’s your…” He points to my own face. My eyes narrow. “How’s my cheek after you slapped me?” His eyes dart around the party. “Can you keep it down?” “No.”» — Thirty-Two.

«“I just know I wanted to put it off as long as I could because nothing beats seeing you happy. Nothing.”» — Thirty-Three.

«“I want you. I want you more than all of that.”» — Thirty-Six.

«“I want to try, Abbie. Let me.”» — Thirty-Six.

#make your move #heather garvin #booklover #reading #book review #review #book blog

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waffle-bubbles · 1 year

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The House Party

Word Count: 2,748

It's here!!! I'm very happy to have returned to my roots. I've missed these little idiots so much. There's definitely things I want to revise, and I appreciate all the criticism I can get. Writing dialogue is very easy for me, but everything else is difficult. This was a bit of practice for that. I could do better about actually describing what mundane action looks/feels like. I'm also still deciding between third and first person. It's been years, and I still have no idea which one to use.

I'm just glad I got it past 500 words. It's amazing how much you can get done when you're procrastinating on all your other papers for class. Anyway, I'm going to be reading this to the writers group I joined. All of them are about 70 years old, and I have no idea if they support gay stuff.

---

“Do you know who lives here?” Thomas looked at the Victorian house swathed in the dark. Amber lights gleamed inside, illuminating the dark patches of sidewalk and thorny bushes that boarded the outline of the house. Soft jazz music and heavy, drunk chatter floated out.

“Kind of.” Alice replied, taking several steps towards the house. Thomas stayed on his ground, keeping his hands in the warm shell of his coat.

“Kind of?” he questioned.

“I know the owner’s daughter. She goes to our school.” Thomas didn’t reply. “Don’t be such a wet blanket, Thomas. It’s perfectly safe. I was invited here.”

“Just because you were invited here doesn’t mean it’s safe,” Thomas muttered. Alice kept walking. “If something happens, we don’t have a car!” He yelled after her.

“The dorms are a five minute walk away!” Alice yelled back. Thomas heaved a heavy sigh and scurried to catch up to her. Alice rang the doorbell. “What do you think will happen?” she asked.

“Everything,” Thomas replied. Alice opened her mouth to reply, but the door swung open to a squealing girl. She had long, brunette hair and was dressed in clothes his parents would hate. Her shirt was practically see-through. Thomas pretended not to notice.

“Alice! Glad you could make it!” the girl brought Alice in for a hug and kiss on each cheek. The girl kept an arm over Alice’s shoulder as Alice leaned into the light of the house. “Who’s this?” the girl nodded to Thomas.

“Thomas.” Thomas gave a small wave. Alice kept her warm smile on him.

“Ah. Right. Thomas.” the girl said. She studied him from bottom up. Her nose twitched. “Come on in.” She widened the door enough for him to squeeze through. Thomas entered, and the girl shut the door behind him. The house was much larger than Thomas imagined; about fifty people were in the living room alone. Most were people Thomas recognized around campus. Others looked younger they they should have been. “Let me get you guys a drink,” she pushed her way through the crowd of people. Alice took his hand and followed the girl. Thomas had no choice but to be led into the kitchen.

The kitchen was less busy, which Thomas was grateful for. It was rather small; a rectangle room with doors on either end. People passed through, occasionally pausing to snatch a drink before stumbling through to the even more crowded patio. The girl brought out a bottle of vodka and orange juice and poured him a small drink. Thomas took it into his hands, muttering a thank you. “If you need me, I’ll be outside.” she poured herself another shot and stumbled onto the patio.

Alice poured herself a drink: vodka with nothing else except for a thick lime slice. She sipped at it, leaning against the counter and crossing her arms. Thomas took the spot next to her. He kept his arm touching hers. He could feel the music thrumming through the counters. “Not so bad is it?” she nudged him.

“Do we have to be here?” Thomas whispered.

“Yes. Come on, man. You haven’t made a single friend since we’ve been here. I thought college was all about meeting new people. This could be your chance.”

“I really don’t want to be here.” Thomas eyed a couple as they giggled across the room.

“I know.” Alice took his hand and squeezed it. “I’m going to say hi to a few friends. You should join me. So you don’t end up alone, like you always are.”

“I’m not always alone,” Thomas said. Alice raised an eyebrow. “I have you.”

“I don’t count.”

“Why not?”

“Just—” she sighed. “Come meet my friends.”

“I don’t like your friends.”

“You haven’t even met them.”

“Yeah, but I’ve seen them. I don’t like their type.”

“And what type is that?” Alice waited for a response, and thought better of it. “Don’t answer that. Actually, they probably wouldn’t like you either.” Pretending not to care, Alice looked at him from the side of her eyes.

“You’re not going to trick me into meeting your friends.”

“So you’d rather be lonely?”

“Yes.”

“Alright. Your depression party. But try to loosen up. Drink! Kiss someone! Do something! Lord knows you need it.” Alice let go of his hand and started for the patio. “I’ll be right back. Bye!”

“I can’t—” Thomas began, but Alice had already disappeared. He let his sentence die out. Thomas crumpled his shoulders. The couple didn’t spare him a glance. Thomas silently thanked the Lord.

Thomas swirled his drink and took a small sip. He scrunched his face into a grimace. He never liked citrus. When he lowered his glass, he noticed a man smiling at him. He had dark skin and long, black hair tied up into an over-spilling bun. Half of his face was covered by a pink birthmark. He wore a turtleneck that swallowed his thin frame. He was pouring himself a drink—the same one Thomas had. Thomas tipped his glass in acknowledgement. He recognized the man as the same man that frequently visited the bookstore. Same time every week, like clockwork. Thomas had come to expect his visits, but he never got his name.

The man set the jug of orange juice down. Taking his own glass with him, he slid into the space Alice left behind. “Hey,” the man said.

“Hey,” Thomas looked to the glass door. People raised their glasses in a toast and threw their heads back in laughter. Alice was nowhere to be seen among them.

“You work at the bookstore, right?” the man asked.

“Yeah.”

“I thought so. I wanted to make sure.” the man swirled his drink. “It’s strange to see you here.”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t seem like a partying type.”

“How do you figure that?”

“You’re in a corner by yourself. And you look like you want to die.”

“You got me there.” Thomas cracked a small smile. “My friend forced me to come, but she left.”

“So you’re alone, then?”

“I’m not alone. She was just saying hi to her friends for a second.”

“So you’re alone then.” The man had one of the largest smiles Thomas had ever seen. It reached the middle of his cheeks, never quite showing his teeth. “I’m James.” James offered a friendly hand. Thomas shook it. His hand was a cool welcome; Thomas hadn’t realized how sweaty he was.

“I’m Thomas. Sorry.” Thomas wiped the sweat from his palm on his jeans.

“It’s alright.” James brought his glass to his lips.

“Well, it’s good to see a familiar face. Do you go to Why College?”

“Mmm,” he lowered his glass. “Yeah. You?”

“I don’t. I’m a senior in high school. But I’m planning on attending next fall. What year are you?”

“I’m first year.” Thomas replied. The same couple from before kissed against the counter opposite them. Thomas looked away, hiding his face behind a sip of his drink. “How do you know the host?” James asked.

“I don’t. Alice does, though.”

“Alice. Is she your girlfriend?”

“What? No. Lord, no.” a laugh escaped Thomas’ lips. “I mean, we went to prom together, but it was only platonic. She’s my friend. That’s all.” Thomas paused. He couldn’t figure out what James was thinking. James kept his smile steady and his eyes firmly on him. His eyes were the color of caramel candy, swirling with the artificial light from above. Heat creeped into Thomas’ cheeks. “Besides, I think she’s with someone. She hasn’t told me about him, though.”

“You kind of sound like you wish you were with her.”

“I wouldn’t mind it. I think it would be nice to date your best friend. I, uh…” Thomas sighed. The couple has escalated from kissing to making out. The man had lifted her onto the counter. “I used to have a crush on her.”

“Do you still have a crush on her?” James took a long drink.

“Nah. I’m honestly not sure I ever did. I think I liked the idea of being with her more than having an actual romantic interest in her. If that makes sense.”

“It does. I used to think that way about one of my girl friends. Then I came out.”

“Oh. You’re…”

“Gay? Yeah. I am.”

“I wouldn’t have known.”

“Really? I feel it’s fairly obvious.”

“Maybe you’re just self-conscious.” Thomas teased.

“Maybe you’re just oblivious.” James lightly pushed him, not bothering to hide his smile.

“How do you know the host?” Thomas asked.

“I know their daughter. She was my friend in high school, and then she went off to college, leaving me behind.” James snorted at his own sad joke.

“So you’re alone, then?”

“Not anymore,” James said without missing a beat. He smiled more than a person should. Thomas was beginning to wonder if that smile was infectious; he could feel the muscles in his cheeks wearing thin.

The couple grew more intense in their kissing. The girl had her arms wrapped around the man’s neck. The man kept his hands on the exposed skin of her hips. Thomas looked to the floor. James bumped his arm against Thomas’.

“Do you want to go someplace quieter?” James nodded towards the living room, where people were dancing and chattering. They ignored the staircase.

“For what?”

“For talking. Or whatever.”

Thomas glanced back at the couple. The man’s hand was practically up her shirt. “Yeah, alright.” Thomas said.

“Follow me.” James downed the rest of his drink and set the glass on the counter behind them. James grabbed Thomas’ hand and led him up the stairs. People didn’t seem to notice the two men; no one glanced their way. The hallway upstairs was empty and completely dark. James opened a few doors, most of which were occupied by more couples. The only empty one left was the study. The room was illuminated by the moonlight streaming through the window. Shelves filled with hard cover books lined the walls. The velvet window seat had a small wooden table next to it, holding an ornate, carnation-printed lamp. It must have been a wedding gift. James flicked on the lamp and fell into the window seat. A soft, amber light burned through the room. Thomas took the spot next to him. James sighed and adjusted the neck of his sweater. Thomas kept his hands in his lap and his feet firmly on the floor. James settled against the wall, keeping one leg dangling off the edge.

“You can relax. I won’t hurt you.”

“Right.” Thomas relaxed his muscles, leaning against the wall and mirroring James’ posture. Their legs were touching. Thomas didn’t move his. He took another sip of alcohol. He was getting used to that burnt citrus taste. (Was it supposed to taste burnt?)

“So,” James started. “What are you studying?”

“English.” Thomas replied.

“English? Hmm. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. You work at a bookstore.”

“What’s wrong with working at a bookstore?”

“Nothing.” James said. Thomas raised an eyebrow. James kept a straight face. “Nothing is wrong with working at a bookstore.” he said, but he couldn’t keep his laughter from spilling over. Thomas laughed with him. “I think it’s great you work at a bookstore. It seems like a better job than most.”

“It is. My dad wanted me to get into management, but I’d rather write. I care about writing. And the people are friendlier. ”

“What do you want to write about?”

“Everything. I want to write things that bring people together. I want to write things that can make a person feel not so alone. I want to write about every experience I have and every person I meet.”

“Will you ever write about me?” James kept his smile strong; Thomas couldn’t stand to look at it.

“I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.” Thomas looked away, raising his glass to hide his blush. “What about you? What are you hoping to study?” he asked when the heat left his face.

“Two things, actually. Photography and theater. That way if one fails, I have something else.”

“Smart.”

“I try.”

“What made you want to study those things?”

“I don’t know. I just sort of… Fell into it. I mean, I always loved to take pictures of beautiful things. And theater always fascinated me. I don’t know. Actually—” James lowered his leg onto the floor to get the tiniest bit closer. “We have a play coming up. You should come. We could use all the support we can get.”

“I’d love to. Uh, what is it?”

“Hamlet. I’m playing Horatio.”

“I’ll definitely be there.” Thomas said. James nodded, biting his bottom lip.

“This might be awkward to ask, but my photography final is taking portraits of people. Would you be interested in that?” Heat flushed through Thomas’ body. “I think you’d be perfect.”

“Uh… Yeah. Sure. I’d love to.” Thomas’ mouth had gone dry. James reached up and pulled his hair apart from its bun. His birthmark was completely exposed. Thomas traced the outline of James’ birthmark with his eyes. He must be the most beautiful person Thomas has ever seen. Or maybe that was the alcohol talking. His half-full drink sat against the palm of his hand. Thomas could feel the beating of his heart—quick and hot—against the cool glass surface. “You’re…” Thomas didn’t know how to finish his sentence. How could he tell him the thoughts that had no words? “You’re beautiful.” he whispered. James smiled wider than he ever had before. His eyes crinkled at the edges.

“Thank you. I appreciate it. I think you’re beautiful too.” James said. Thomas didn’t look away. James raised a hesitant hand and brushed lightly against Thomas’ neck. Shivers ran down Thomas’ spine. James didn’t move his hand; instead, he leaned closer. Close enough that Thomas could smell the burnt citrus on his skin. The clock struck midnight. Deep chimes reverberated through the room. One, then the next and then the next. James took Thomas’ drink from his hands and placed it on the table next to him. James pulled Thomas closer and kissed him.

Thomas had kissed other people before. He and Alice shared a kiss the night of their prom. It was stiff and routine. Alice had to pretend she wanted it. This kiss was different. Thomas could feel colorful flowers bursting in his chest. He could feel the tingling people so often described. This was exactly what a kiss was supposed to be. He wanted more.

Thomas kissed him back. He kissed the man in front of him until he couldn’t hear the clock anymore. The only thing he could hear was James’ steady breathing against his uneven one. The only thing he could feel was James’ thick wool sweater in his hands. The only thing he could taste was the orange juice and vodka they’d both consumed. James gave as much of himself as Thomas would take, and Thomas took it. Thomas pulled him over him. James placed a hand on his shoulder, lightly pushing him down. A searing hot flash of panic flooded Thomas’ chest. He pushed James away and stood up. James sat upright, looking at him with confusion.

“I can’t—” Thomas ran his hands through his hair. “I’m not…” He couldn’t stand to see the closest thing to James’ frown. He looked to the heavy oak door instead. “I should go find Alice,” Thomas muttered.

“I’m sorry—” James began, but Thomas had already left.

Thomas walked past each closed door containing moaning couples. Thomas didn’t bother going back to get his glass. How could he have missed the signs? Thomas pushed through the rest of the crowd until he reached the patio. How could he not have known?

Most people were seated around a small fire, lightly chatting and laughing with one another. Alice was in the middle of it all, listening intently to the brunette girl talking. Alice always kept her hair in a short bob. Thomas went to stand beside her. “Alice,” he poked at the side of her arm. She looked up.

“Thomas! Hey!” she scooted over to make room for him. He shook his head. Her smile dropped.

“Let’s go.” Thomas avoided the eyes of Alice’s other friends. He could feel the brunette girl’s gaze burning into him.

“Did something happen?” Alice asked. She glanced to her wristwatch. It was only ten past twelve.

“No. Just—No. Let’s go.” Thomas pulled Alice up by her arm, spilling her drink in the process.

“Oup, alright. Alright.” Alice set down her drink and said hurried goodbyes to the people. They watched as Thomas pulled her through the glass door.

Alice didn’t ask what was wrong. They walked the rest of the way home without another word. She let him sleep on her bed. She took the floor.

#Thomas' first gay panic #also Alice is studying to be a marine biologist

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rodricksfilipinagf · 2 years

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Rodrick Heffley x Reader: Worth Giving A Chance Part 2

“Where are we going?” I plead. I know the Loded Diper van is heading somewhere, because I can feel it driving and taking multiple turns, but its owner refuses to tell me the destination.

“You’ll know when we get there,” Rodrick says, making another turn. “But I promise you’re going to like it.”

“It’s not a party, is it? I don’t want to go to a party.”

Rodrick snorts. “Who takes girls to a party on the first date?”

“Um…I thought you??”

Rodrick lets out a laugh. “Wow. You really think that little of me?”

“I mean, you said you liked them.”

“Not for a first date. Is that why you wore that dress?”

I look down. My dress is white with a blue jacquard pattern on it and puff sleeves, and made out of the softest cotton. It’s Marie Antoinette’s Versailles pattern with her Petit Trianon silhouette and material. I watched the movie with Kirsten Dunst this afternoon to prepare for this date. Not that the movie would teach me what a date with Rodrick Heffley would be like at all. But I wanted something comforting, familiar, and eye candy to look at before the wild, unpredictable, exciting night that I would have. “Yeah. I had to pick something I wouldn’t mind being seen in by other people.”

“It’s cute,” Rodrick says, making me blush. “you’re cute. How’d the Staples trip go by the way? Did you get it done?”

“Yeah, I’m so glad I did.” My mom unexpectedly had to fill in information for a form and send it to her job. Since we don’t have a printer and our library’s computer didn’t have any working formats we could open the document on, we had to go to Staples, print the form, she had to fill it in manually, and scan it. We had to do each part multiple times because the printer only printed a portion of the page each time. I really hope she doesn’t have to do this again soon because it was very taxing and stressful and we couldn’t have done it without the person working there. But as a result from stress from two separate places, I’m not really in the party mood. “But I’m just way too tired for a party. If we’re going to dinner, is it okay if I don’t look at you? Are you going to get mad? I know you put a lot of effort into tonight.”

“Are you kidding? Why would I get mad? I get to spend time with you. That’s all that matters.” I feel him parking the van and I’m debating whether it would be worse if he picked a dark or bright restaurant for us to eat at. Dark makes me even more sleepy but bright might possibly be too much for my eyes.

Why didn’t I reschedule??? I guess it’s because despite my trepidation the day we kissed, I really do want to spend time with him too. He has a way of making me, if not forget about my problems, make my life feel better, happier, and more fun, because going through stressful things means I get to hang out with him afterwards. Rodrick is amazing at sending me texts. He’s always the first one to text me, and he sends me personalized gifs and memes he thinks I’d like. I never had a guy go through that much effort before, even with a simple thing like that.

“You can open your eyes now, too,” he says. We’re in a parking lot of this really large park in the town next to ours. It’s super dark outside.

“Should I be worried?” I ask.

We’re sitting on a blanket spread out on a wide open field in the park. I couldn’t see this from the van, but illuminating the sky are so many stars. This date was super thoughtful. “This is so beautiful,” I say, but Rodrick’s not looking at the stars.

“You’re more beautiful,” he says, not tearing his eyes away from me. His hand reaches out and grasps mine. “You don’t have to look at me that much if you don’t want to. I’m so okay with just looking at you.”

“You’re….” sweeter than I ever could have imagined. “How’d you know this was exactly what I needed?”

“This is what I wanted to do with you anyway. Then I got your text about your eyes feeling tired before leaving the house, and I figured it was perfect, because I get to talk to you…”

“And the whole point of stargazing is to not look at each other.” Rodrick’s family and teachers at school don’t give him enough credit, because he’s a lot smarter than he looks. And so kind, and sweet, and thoughtful…basically the best boyfriend I could have asked for. I’m extremely happy I agreed to go on a date with him.

“Guess I got extremely lucky.”

“No, you didn’t,” I say, and he looks confused. “I did,” I continue and he smiles before pressing his lips to mine. We kiss for a while and I’m glad the blanket is there because not all of it was vertical.

#rodrick #doawk rodrick #rodrick heffley #rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick rules #doawk #diary of a wimpy kid #autistic burnout #autistic #autistic rep #autistic representation #autistic reader

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httpdabi · 3 years

Text

Jealousy

Word count: 6,5k

Genre: Smut, romance, no quirk lol

Warnings: 18+, a little bit of choking, a little bit of daddy kink, rough sex, dom!dabi , jealousy kinda, unprotected sex, alcohol

Credit to the owner of the pic!!

✨Friends to lovers fic✨

Throwing your phone across the room, deep breath coming out of your mouth. The fact that he was coming back today made the time pass so slow it was painful. You were glancing at your phone every now and then checking what time it is, knowing he should arrive around 17PM. Rolling down on your old bed, you took a good look of your room.

Pastel pink walls, white bed, small working table in the left corner of the room. Beside your bed were photos taped on the wall. All those photos woke a memory in you. Some of the photos were of you and your friends, but most of them were of you and Dabi.

Dabi.

Your childhood best friend. You will never forget the day you first met him. Shy little Touya not wanting to play with your dolls. I’M A MAN. He screamed back then, throwing the doll away, making you cry loudly. You will never forget how scared he got in the moment you started screaming around, trying to hush you down somehow. He did everything he could hoping his parents won’t hear.

Yours and Touya’s parents were literally best friends, visiting each other almost every day. Having to face him so often, you two almost had no choice then to become friends. At the beginning none of you were impressed by each others company. But how both of you grew up, you were becoming closer and closer. At some point, you two became inseparable.

When Touya started getting piercings, you were so jealous. You wanted to get that Certilage piercing just like him, but your parents were so strict even the thought of it made their hair get up. Of course Touya being Touya, he didn’t give a two shits about their decision. Picking you up one day after school and brining you to his friend that did his piercings too. That night both families were fighting. His parents lecturing him how he is such a bad influence to you, and your parents screaming on you how you’ll never get married with piercing like that. Saying it’s not ladylike.

,, If no one marries her, I will’’ Touya said, making your heart flutter, and everyone else in the room laughed loudly, finding it cute how he was protecting you.

Of course, growing up both of you went different directions in your life. Moving out of your parents place was best thing that happened to you. Having that freedom you never had before, you were appreciating even little things.

Dabi moved out in another city, saying he never wanted to live in his hometown anyway. Of course, there wasn’t a day that he didn’t contact you. But having him so far away made things much harder for you. The only positive thing about him moving to another city was the fact that your huge crush on him would melt down, at least you hoped so.

You were so in love with him. How could you not be ? Having him around so much, such a handsome and good guy, you simply had to develop feelings toward him.

Walking downstairs, you heard Enji laughing loudly at something your father said. You visiting your parents home again, while Todoroki’s were also there, all of you waiting for Dabi to return. It made your heart warm up again, missing moments when all of you were spending time together so often.

Making your way toward kitchen, you opened the fridge looking for something to eat. Not that you were hungry, you were simply bored and something had to kill that boredom.

Taking the milk pudding, you opened it and took one spoon. You tried to multitask somehow, with one hand you were eating the pudding, while with other hand just scrolling your instagram feed.

Suddenly, a head placed on your shoulder, trying to see what you were looking at. Your parents always did that. They had to know why you were always holding that damn phone in your hands.

,, Dad, this is private, I’m not a child anymore’’ you whined, pushing your fathers head away. You hated when he does that, privacy is privacy and it has to be respected.

,, I didn’t know you were into daddy kink’’ a familiar voice whispered, making you flinch in surprise. Turning around you immediately jumped on the person standing behind you. Dabi laughed, placing his hand around your waist hugging you strongly, before he pulled you up in the air.

,, You little piece of shit, I missed you so much’’ you said hugging him back, not paying any attention to your parents in the background.

The rest of the day was all about Touya. How he was, what did he do, does he have a girlfriend and so on. Of course he liked to be the center of the attention, talking about everything. Not that you were complaining, you were sinking in every word that came out of his mouth, admiring him as always.

At the end of the day, your parents made plans that this week all of you should meet and have a super cool bbq like in the old times. Which meant one big ass sleep over, with Todoroki’s. Those nights were always amazing, so much food, so much sweets and of course so much alcohol for grown ups. That was the reason why Rei and Enji slept over after all. All of them would simply get wasted.

Dabi decided he will sleep at your place, since he never saw your new apartment, all of them agreeing, knowing that there’s a lot he probably wanted to tell you.

First both of you went to his old home, placing his suitcase and taking just few stuff to bring over. He didn’t want to waste any time, since his parents were still at your place, and he really wanted to finally see your new apartment.

Placing his bag in his hallway, he immediately went inside your living room, looking around, commenting what doesn’t look good and how he would decorate it much better. He opened the fridge, feeling like home and took one ice cream out of the freezer. Making his way toward your couch.

,, So, where’s that piece of shit called Kai’’ he asked, biting the chocolate on the ice cream. You were confused a bit, since you broke up with Kai long time ago.

,, Didn’t I already tell you? It’s been six months since we broke up’’ you laughed out. How can it be possible that you left your dear Touya uninformed about your love life.

,, Oh, that breaks my heart.’’ He said sarcastically. ,, What happened?’’ he added licking the ice cream.

,, Well, he cheated on me’’ you lied, sitting down beside him. Well, technically he did cheat on you, but the reason behind it was because he found out about your feelings about Dabi. He found out that he was only being used to forget your one sided love. Not that you didn’t like Kai, you did find him attractive, but you couldn’t force yourself to do with him stuff every couple did. Which made him cheat on you, hoping he will make you step further. But at his surprise you did something every normal person would do, broke up with him.

You did feel disappointed that you two had to part your ways like that, but you also understood him and with that you couldn’t force yourself to hate him or be that much hurt.

,, He didn’t deserve you anyway. I have no idea what did you see in him. Dude looks like he fed a whole Village in Africa, no offense ‘’ he said, making you laugh.

,, Anyway, we are invited to Mina’s birthday this Saturday’’ you said placing both of your legs on the table.

,, Aren’t we having a bbq that day?’’ Dabi asked as he placed the stick of his ice cream on the table.

,, Yeah, but we can still go tho. They’ll be really happy to see you again, I told everyone that you are back’’ you said, as he placed his head on your lap. You smiled, knowing how much he loves when you play with his hair.

,, Sure, we can do both. I am glad I’ll see them all again’’ he said making your stomach twist out of jealousy. You knew how much Yua and Akari liked Dabi. Of course you were friends, but the fact that all these two had their eyes on him made your blood boil. Even Mina was into him, until she found a boyfriend recently. They didn’t know that you liked him, but you knew very well that they weren’t happy that you had him by your side all the time.

After telling you about the city and all his experience, you two decided to go to sleep since it was already 2AM. You went to the bathroom to change into your silk pajama, coming back only to find Dabi in your bed wearing only shorts.

,, I really wanna get some tattoos too’’ you said looking the tattoos over his chest and arms, wanting to touch every single one of them.

,, Do it’’ he simply said, placing his arms under his head. You just rolled your eyes on him, he knew very well that you weren’t that brave.

,,You can sleep here, I’ll crash on the couch’’ you said ready to stand up. He was a guest after all, and for him you would sleep on the floor if he asked you to.

,, Of course you’re not’’ he said grabbing your arm and pulling you in the bed beside him. Wrapping his one arm around you.

,, Don’t get all cold with me suddenly’’ he laughed while covering both of you with your covers. Of course, you two slept together in one bed before, it wasn’t something unusual. But knowing how you feel about him, you knew that with every move like this, your feelings will grow back even stronger then they were before.

,, Touya, we aren’t children anymore’’ you said, trying to wiggle out of his grip.

,, That’s exactly what I was thinking about. Might as well do stuff adults do’’ he said jokingly, making you push him even harder. Making sure you are smiling he just held you stronger repeating that he was joking.

Once you realized that he won’t really give up, you just gave in, preparing yourself for one sleepless night with him.

Dabi placed your leg over him, slowly caressing your tight while telling you about some nonsense like he did before until you would fall asleep. Once he thought that you fall asleep, you felt his long arms around you and his lips on your head.

Having him so close to you, he didn’t know what effect he had on you. For him it was just one normal night, while for you it was something you won’t be able to keep out of your mind next upcoming weeks.

The next days it was like before. Dabi was spending more time at your place as he did home. You two would spend time together, playing games, going grocery shopping together, visiting cafes and so on. You even saw Akari in one café, and of course she was all over Dabi. You couldn’t watch it, she was touching his arm so recklessly, and the fact that he wasn’t doing anything about it didn’t’ help either.

Excusing yourself, you said that you felt sick. Dabi wanted to follow you home, but Akari was insisting how he should stay, since they didn’t see each other for such a long time. Not wanting to make any scene, you just told him to stay, not to worry and left them.

On your way home, you felt terrible. It wasn’t anything big, but yet you overacted there and had to leave. But you simply couldn’t watch or hear anything more. You were the one that was supposed to touch him like that. You wanted to touch all those tattoos, and even tho you were his best friend you couldn’t find the courage to do it. Yet, stupid Akari did it without a problem.

Knowing that Dabi will probably just come back to your place, you made your way toward your parents house, not ready to face him somehow. In that moment you wished you didn’t gave him your spare keys. You didn’t want to wait for him and think about what they were doing.

Of course your parents were more then happy to welcome you home. Since you moved out you didn’t sleep at their place that often. But they knew something was wrong, not wanting to bother you, they just let you be.

Once again the night was sleepless for you. Dabi did contact you, asking if you are ok and if he should bring something to you, but once you saw that Akari posted him on her Instagram story, you couldn’t even force yourself to text him back.

You knew that It was so childish of you, he didn’t even know how you feel about him, yet that something small would upset you so much. But your feelings were getting better of you. The whole night you were rolling around in your bed, thinking if he’s home yet, if they are fucking somewhere. You were thinking what would have happened if you just stayed. If you did, he would probably just leave home with you.

Waking up next morning, you wanted to kill yourself. The soreness in your eyes didn’t help either. You saw few messages from Dabi, asking where you are, yada yada. Seeing that it was sent around 4am, you tossed your phone across the bed. Did he stay that long with her ?

You slowly stood up and made your way toward the bathroom, brushing your teeth before leaving home. Your parents were insisting that you should stay, and spend the rest of the day with them. It was Saturday anyway, so you’ll be here later anyway.

But you didn’t want, you had to clean your apartment a bit together with your thoughts. Also it was Minas birthday today, so you had to get ready before you leave for the bbq and her birthday.

Opening the door of your apartment, you saw Dabi’s shoes placed beside yours. Slowly tip toeing, you found him in your bedroom asleep. You slowly closed the door, and started cleaning quietly, making sure not to wake him up.

You wanted to lay down beside him, and simply cuddle yourself close to his body, but because of the thought of the last night, you also wanted to grab his hair and force him out of your apartment.

Of course, once he woke up, you couldn’t be mad at him anymore. You had to act it up, and just ignore what happened, after all how could you explain to him why were you even mad ? Dabi left your place around 16PM, leaving you all alone with your thoughts once again. You whished you could tell him how you felt, you wished he would understand.

When the time came, you wore your light purple spaghetti strap dress. Since the evenings were still kidna cold, you decided to wear your oversized black cardigan that was the same length as your dress. Covering just enough.

After doing your make up and straightening your hair, you placed your small bag over your shoulder and wore your overknee lace up boots before you left. The cardigan was bothering you a bit, since you knew how hot it usually gets when you’re in club, but once the wind brushed your naked tight, you didn’t mind it anymore.

Once you got at your parents place, you helped them with all the preparing. Your mom didn’t let you prepare the food, being scared you’ll ruin your dress. But you still helped with plates and all the alcohol. Placing everything on the table outside.

When they arrived Enji and your dad immediately started with the bbq. Rei and your mom were simply enjoying the evening and sipping on their wine, waiting for their food. While both of you and Dabi were simply on your phones. Once again you were upset, all of them complimented your looks, everyone but him. Piece of shit like he looked any better, whit his simple white shirt and jeans.

Lies.

He looked so beautiful without any effort, the tattoos on his arm totally visible.

You took the wine from the table filling your glass, drinking it fast down. Just the thought of Akari and other girls being all over him was driving you crazy. You had to prepare yourself.

,, Slow down doll, I don’t want to spend the rest of my night holding your hair in the toilet’’ Dabi said taking the now empty glass away from you and laughing a bit.

,,Don’t worry about me, I’m capable of taking care of myself on my own’’ you said taking the glass back and filling it with wine again. Who does he think he is ?

When the meat was done, both of you ate and drank a bit before leaving. Dabi didn’t want to drive since he also had plans to drink. Enji was insisting on giving you a ride, but you two didn’t want to break his fun, after all the club wasn’t that far away.

,,So, who will be there tonight?’’ Dabi asked you, taking the box of cigarettes out of his pocket and lighting one cigarette.

,, Mina of course, Yua, Himari, Ryohei, Hiro, Akari and Kai’’ you said, placing your hands in the pockets of your cardigan.

,, We should make your little Kai jealous, what do you think?’’ He said, placing his arm around your shoulders.

,, Nah, no need’’ you said looking down on the floor.

When you arrived the club was already full of people. Thankfully Mina waited for you two in front of the club, not wanting for you two to waste your time looking for them. You gave her the present that you and Dabi bought few days ago and graduated her. Knowing that Mina is in relationship with Hiro, so the hug she gave Dabi didn’t bother you so much.

Once you got inside, you greeted everyone and ordered your drinks. Of course Akari was giving all of her attention to Dabi, trying to get as close as possible to him.

None of you wanted to wait, so all of you ordered your drinks. You ordered Malibu with cherry juice, you were up for something sweet. Since the sweet drinks kick in much faster and that’s exactly what you needed. Dabi ordered whisky, while Kai, Hiro and Ryohei ordered pure Vodka. Rest of the girls ordered Wine.

,, Hey’’ you heard very familiar voice close to your ear. You turned around sipping on your drink, welcoming Kai with a small smile and nodding your head.

,, How are youu?’’ he asked loud enough for you to hear. Body too close to your own in your opinion.

,, I am good and you?’’ you simply answered finishing your drink, asking yourself why is he starting this random boring chat. Realizing that your friends were eyeing you and your ex down, you smirked to yourself. If they only knew, how little shit you gave about him.

,, Let’s go get another round of drinks’’ you said, and made your way toward the bar, while Kai was following every step you made.

,, You look beautiful tonight’’ Kai pointed after you ordered what everyone was drinking. Well, at least someone appreciates your effort tonight, you thought to yourself.

,, Thank you, you look cool yourself’’ you said already trying your drink, while giving the money with your right hand to the bartender. He didn’t look bad at all, wearing black button up shirt, one part of it tucked in his jeans. His typical black convers shoes. He looked good.

Once you two got back, placing all the drinks on the table, you could feel Dabi’s eyes on you. You weren’t sure if he wanted to tell you something, so you took his Whisky and went to him.

,, What is it ?’’ you asked giving him his drink.

,, Nothing at all’’ he replied eying you down. He was about to say something more, but Akari interrupted him, saying some nonsense. Not wanting to watch them together, you just left them, making your way toward Ryohei, Himari and Kai on the dancefloor.

All of you were dancing. Jumping around and waving your body to the sound of the music. You realized that Kai was trying real hard to get you to himself, but sadly your drinks didn’t hit you that much yet. Still the only person that was on your mind was Dabi. You wanted to look at him, and see what’s he doing, but you were afraid once you turn around you’ll find Akari all over him again, or even worse making out with him. It would definitely ruin your night.

After few more drinks, you finally started getting tipsy. While Mother Mother was playing, you and Himari were jumping around, making your way back toward the table to get your other drink that was already there, you two were screaming at each other ,, My daddy’s got a gun, My daddy’s got a gun, My daddy’s got a gun, you better run’’ moving your body crazily just as the music was.

,, Cheers’’ Himari screamed, once both of you placed a bit salt on your hand. Licking the salt of your hand, both of you drank the tequila fast before sucking the lemon. Making the weird face, both of you laughed preparing another shot.

Making your way back to the others, both of you were going crazy to the beat of the song you loved. With a new drink in your hand, you didn’t think about the consequences. After all the music was just so good, you simply had to drink.

Dancing around, you felt a body pressed against your. Tilting your head to the side, you realized it’s Kai standing behind you, trying to get as much of you as he could. At that moment you didn’t give a fuck anymore, just giving in and dancing with him. You saw Himari and Mina laughing at you, thinking you two will get together.

,, I’ll go smoke one fast, wanna come?’’ Kai asked. You simply shook your head giving him a sign that you'll simply wait and found yourself once again dancing with Himari. You were glad Himari was there, since without her you wouldn’t have much fun as you had now.

,, You are fast’’ you said, feeling Kai’s body behind you again. Slow down by Chase Atlantic started playing, no better song for grinding your body against someone else. Moving your body slowly, you felt his hands holding your hips firmly.

,, Are you sure you aren‘t into daddy kink doll?“raspy and deep voice made you twitch in shock. ,, What’s wrong? Didn’t expect me ?’’ he added, holding your hips stronger, not giving you any chance to move away from him.

You felt like there was no need to answer him, since Mina bought you another drink you were already busy sipping on your drink . After all, all you wanted to do was drink and get wasted in that moment anyway. So you moved your body from the side to the side, enjoying how close his body was to yours.

Realizing that you drank your drink, Dabi took it form your hand and gave it to the bartender that was passing by anyway. Turning you around to face him, he took your arms and placed them around his neck, while his own arms found their way to your waist.

,, Wasn’t the plan to make Kai jealous?’’ he asked. You could feel his hot breath on your ear. Tilting your head a bit to the left, you closed your eyes and gave him a small nod with the biggest grin ever.

The grin was long gone once you felt his hands over your ass, squeezing it tightly. ,, Then why am I at the end the jealous one ?’’ He asked giving you one more squeeze. Drunk like that you forgot about your friends and what might they think.

,, Is this how you treat your daddy?’’ he added, not giving you a chance to even progress the last question he gave you. You were never into daddy kink, but coming from his lips, you were ready to call him daddy as much as he wanted.

,, I want.. drink.. haha’’ you said laughing, hoping he will get you another one, since you weren’t capable to do it on your own anymore.

,, We are going home’’ he said. He was already tipsy on his own, but nowhere drunk as you were. He told everyone that you two are leaving, not giving you much time to greet them. Seeing disappointed look on Akari’s face made your night. IN YOUR FACE YOU BITCH ASS HOE

Dabi helped you wear your cardigan, and placed your bag over your shoulders, before he placed his hand around your waist helping you walk a bit. Well, you could walk, but with his grip around you, it was much easier.

,, I thought you could take care of yourself’’ he said once you two were outside. He placed you on the nearest bench, just to light up his cigarette before he pulled you up once again. You placed your arm around his shoulders, bragging about how you can walk perfectly fine.

,, Stop pissing me off doll, you’re hard to hold’’ he said as his grip was getting stronger.

,,Or what ?’’ You laughed, taking the cigarette from him and placing it between your lips. You don’t smoke usually, but alcohol took over you. Dabi laughed surprised, not used at the sight of you smoking.

,, My little Touya, you weren’t even born when I started smoking’’ you managed to say, while he was just laughing at the nonsense you were telling him.

Dabi didn’t know what he should do first, hold you firmly or pull your dress down, scared it was to high up for everyone else to see what’s under it.

,,Now, behave yourself, we are almost home’’ he said pulling your dress down a little, and throwing the almost done cigarette from your lips on the floor.

At his and your surprise both of your parents were still outside enjoying their time. You threw your arm up in the air ready to greet them, but Dabi stopped you fast enough. It’s not like your parents have anything against you drinking. But he wasn’t in a mood to talk with them about anything tonight. And he knew very well that drunk like that you were more then ready for a chat with them.

,, Already home?’’ Enji screamed once he saw you two. You were ready to brag about how you wanted to party a bit longer, but Dabi once again stopped you, telling them how you didn’t feel good that much.

,,What’s your problem man ?’’ You hissed at the party breaker that was pulling you upstairs to your room. Looking how your parents prepared your room made you grin. There was a mattress beside your bed prepared for Dabi.

,, They really think you’ll sleep down there’’ you grinned.

,, Obviously’’ Dabi said, placing you slowly on your bed.

,, Now, change into your pajama while I’m brushing my teeth’’ he said slowly, making sure you understand every word.

With alcohol in your system, you just lain down to rest a bit, before getting all the power and will you had to change.

Pulling your dress over your head, you started looking for your pajamas. Seeing Dabi’s shirt on the floor, you felt satisfied and just wore it. Standing there in the room, you thought if it’s his shirt he wore today, or just the one he got himself for bed. You would rather sleep naked than in a shirt he just wore in the club. Even the thought of the smell of all the smoke and alcohol made you feel dizzy.

Taking the part of his shirt, you pulled it close enough for you to sniff it making sure it’s not his shirt from clubbing.

,,What are you doing doll? ‘’ You froze. Looking to the side, you saw him leaning on the doorframe while smirk was formed on his lips. Luckily there was enough alcohol in your system to feel embarrassed in that very moment, since the view of you sniffing his shirt was weird as fuck.

,, Can’t get enough of me ?’’ he added getting closer to you. ,, You have to wear some shorts, or I’ll really be forced sleep on the mattress tonight’’ he added looking you up and down, while you just stood there speechless.

,, Come here, let’s take off your make up’’ he said, placing his hand on your back, leading the way to the bathroom.

Once you were in the bathroom, Dabi pulled you up, making you sit on the washing machine. Slowly helping you wash your teeth. Swinging your legs playfully, Dabi almost poured the water he prepared for you on the floor. Placing the glass to the side, he took your legs and wrapped them around his waist. Even tho you weren’t sober, you could completely understand the position you were in. Taking the wet wipes he started cleaning your make up carefully. You just closed your eyes enjoying his touch on your face, while he was giving his best to do it gentle as possible.

Sudden feel of a skin brushing over your nose made you open your eyes. Seeing his face not even inches from yours, made you froze. His nose brushing against your own, before you felt his soft lips against your own.

,, You are driving me crazy’’ he said, placing his forehead against yours. Not thinking twice you placed your hands on his cheeks and pulled him in for another kiss. At first you knew that he was surprised since he just stood there, but after a short second you felt him smile into the kiss, leaning in and wanting more.

With his hands under your, or better to say his own shirt, he was moving them up and down slowly. The touch of his hands rubbing your naked skin softly made you want more of him. Pulling him closer with your legs, you placed your hands on his chest , wanting to feel everything you could.

Pulling your head back breaking the kiss, you attacked his neck, leaving wet kisses all over it. Touya pulled your body up, placing his hands on your ass, making his way toward your room. Making small breaks while pushing your body against the wall trying to kissing you like his life depended on it.

Once he placed you on the bad, he didn’t waste any time, hovering over you and kissing your neck. Wanting everyone to know to who you belong to. He wanted to make sure the next time you see Kai, he will know that Dabi is the one that’s dicking you down.

,, I know you couldn’t stand the sight of me and Akari, but grinding on Kai like a little whore, making me all jealous was really unnecessary’’ he gasped between kisses. Pulling the shirt over your head he threw it over the room, leaving you only in your panties. ,, especially in that little dress of yours” he added, as he looked over your half naked body.

,, Fuck you, what did you expect of me, I was mad’’ you moaned out once you felt his lips on your breast, sucking and biting it.

,, Well.. guess what’’ he said, still sucking your boob, while squeezing the other one.

,,What?’’ you breathed out, eyes closed while enjoying his lips on your body.

,, Daddy will punish his little naughty girl’’ he said, once again leaving wet love marks all over your chest.

,,Touya, I’m really not into daddy kink’’ you said, your hands deep inside his hair.

,, But I am’’ he said, his head in front of your, making eye contact with you. ,, And tonight I want everyone to know who your real daddy is. I want everyone to know who you belong to’’ he said, wrapping his hand around your throat. ,, Do you understand me ?’’ he added.

,,Yes’’ you whispered, not breakig the eye contact.

,,Yes what?’’ he asked as his hand started to apply pressure to your throat. Not being used to choking, you couldn’t really manage to give him the right answer. It wasn’t the kind of choking where you felt like passing out because of the lack of oxygen, but you were still new to it.

,,Yes daddy’’ you managed to say somehow. Satisfied with your answer, Dabi moved his hand away from your throat, leaving small kisses over the same spot where his hand left small marks.

,, Such a good girl’’ he said, pulling your panties down. Licking his lips, as you were exposed to him. The fact that you were so valuable to him, and knowing how much power he had over you was turning Touya even more on.

Not wasting any time, he spread your thighs further apart, his head leaning down to run his tongue through your folds. Feeling his tongue piercing on your clit, something you always wanted to feel, made you throw you head back into the pillow, while grabbing Dabi’s head pulling him closer to yourself.

Licking you around your opening, the warm and hot feeling of his tongue, mixed with cold feeling of his piercing was making you shiver. You could feel him smirk against your core as he saw how much effect he has on you. You moan as his lips and tongue move against your folds, eating you out like it’s his last meal.

,,Touya please’’ you moan out, as he sucks roughly on your bundle of nerves, causing your body to jolt up, as your fingers grab his messy hair.

Flicking his tongue roughly and tugging your clit, his hands were holding your thighs firmly, as his light blue eyes were focused on you. It doesn’t take him long to make you cum all over his mouth, his name falling from your lips shamelessly. Climbing over you, he kissed you passionately, making you taste yourself on his lips.

Pulling away from the kiss, you started kissing his tattoos, something you wanted to do long time ago. Especially since he came back. Dabi breathed heavily, his head hanging low, while you were under him kissing every little line that covered his body.

He gave you the time you needed, exploring his body as much as you wanted. But once he felt your small hands pulling down his shorts together with his boxers, and licking the tip of his already erected dick, he had to stop you. At your surprise, even his dick was pierced.

,, Another time doll’’ he said, pulling you up. ,, I’ve been dying to fuck you since forever’’ he added, slowly rubbing the tip of his dick around your core. Without any warning his slammed his whole length inside making your scream both in pleasure and pain. Wiggling a little, trying to move just a bit away from him, hoping the pain will go away. But Touya couldn’t let that happened, now when he finally had his dick deep inside you.

,,Just relax baby’’ he said not moving, letting you adjust to his size. Placing soft kisses all over your jaw, then slowly moving out of you, only for him to slide back in, so slow that you could feel every vain of his dick move, together with his piercing rubbing your walls.

Dabi was moving so slow, grinding his hips against yours, as his fingers were rubbing your clit gently. Sliding out of you only until the edge of his head remains, before moving slowly again in, repeating the same move all over again. Only God knew how much he wanted to break you.

,, Touya’’ you moan out once he wraps his fingers with yours, placing your left arm above your head, while his right fingers were still rubbing your clit in circles. Your legs shake as you wrap them around him, another orgasm hitting you hard.

Dabi moans with you, as you squeeze his dick while riding of your orgasm. With you having your second orgasm, he couldn’t hold himself any longer. Your warm walls around him coated in juices were driving him crazy. All the soft and slow moves were forgotten, making his motions now much deeper and intense. Pulling out till the end and slamming recklessly into you again. Groaning in pleasure, he was slamming into you with a speed you could only imagine.

,, Touya, slow down’’ you moaned, closing your eyes, still sensitive from your second orgasm. ,, I don’t think I can take it’’ you added, trying to catch your breath.

,,Of course you can take it. Look at you, you’re taking it right now doll’’ he groaned, holding your hips in one place while fucking you hard like no one ever has before. You were a moaning mess, with every move your moans were louder.

,, Oh God, Touya’’ you moaned, fingers still connected to his. Grabbing his back with your left hand and digging your fingers inside his skin.

,, You’re takng it so well love’’ he said, groaning as he felt the pressure of your nails digging into his back. ,, Go ahead, scratch my back as much as you want’’ he added kissing you sloppily.

Once he started rubbing your clit again, you found yourself digging your nails into his back like a wild cat, finding comfort in it. ,, Touya’’ you moaned his name out as both of you were coming closer to your highs. You could feel his dick twitching inside of you, his moves becoming more deeper and jankier. His eyes were shut, while your body started shaking once again. Once again you felt your orgasm pulsing through your stomach, and there you were again squeezing his dick not being able to control yourself as you moaned his name over and over again. Dabi continued fucking you , his groans getting louder and louder, feeling your walls getting tighter and tighter while you were milking his dick down, he released. Emptying his seeds deep into you.

Both of you stayed in the same position, trying to breath normally. His thumb gently rubbing your hand, as he placed kisses all over your bruised neck.

,, You have no idea how much I wanted to be with you’’ he said between the kisses. ,,I’m so in love with you doll’’ he breathed out, making you feel butterfly’s inside your stomach.

,, Are you?’’ you asked, tilting your head just enough to look at him.

,, Don’t act like you didn’t know already’’ he said smiling, while brushing his nose against your cheek. Of course you didn’t know.

,,Fuck you, I was dying here for you, thinking my love is just one sided’’ you said hitting his chest lightly. ,, I even dated Kai hoping I’ll forget you somehow’’ you added hitting him once again, making him laugh a bit.

,, Don’t mention his name. That’s the past. You belong to me now, only me’’ he said, grabbing your jaw and kissing you. You were always his anyway.

,, All yours, Touya’’ you said, kissing him back-

,, Are you kids awake ? ´´ Enji’s head peeked inside your room, finding his eldest son naked on top of his best friends daughter. Making him choke on the air and forgetting the actual reason he was looking for you two.

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