#And i realized at that moment that wat seems like a given to me actually isnt

[insanefemme]

Sometimes we all just need a bit of external validation

#My friend's dog is sick and I threw some ideas at her and then told her about times when my dogs were sick with something similar #And what worked for them but that we tried a lot of stuff first #Anyway and she was like she feels so much better knowing even an amazing owner like me (how sweet is she i don't think I'm that great) #Can have a sick animal and it's okay it's not your fault #So I told her that the fact that her dog is sick isn't a reflection of her as an owner and the fact that she's taking her dog #To see thw vet and now to see a specialist is actually what makes her an amaizng owner because she cares #And she told me she cried #And you know what #One tine I cried because I was buying vitamins/meds for my dog and the girl thought I had an elderly dog and I was like nah #She just got diagnosed woth something at 6 months so we've been managing it her whole life she's ypung and energetic just takes this stuff #So that we can keep her that way for as long as possible and she told me that that's amazing that most people don't do that #And that they just give up on their dogs #And i realized at that moment that wat seems like a given to me actually isnt #And it was nice to hear someone say that I'm a good owner cause I always think I'm normal or below average lol

[tsukimefuku]

Tea and coffee

You had a sleepless night and needs some caffeine to keep yourself from falling asleep before the day has even begun, so Nanami and Hiromi lend a helping hand.

tags: Jujutsu Kaisen, f!reader, established relationship Higuruma x OC/Reader, implied past Nanami x OC/Reader, angst, second hand embarrassment, some fluff, barely proofread.

wc: 1.7K

This is part of my "Jujutsu Partners Canon Divergence AU". A sequence of short stories and random drabbles related to Nanami x Reader x Higuruma. To see the ever-growing list of one-shots and short stories, please visit my masterlist :) 

Disclaimer: these stories are NOT written and posted in chronological order of events. To see where this story fits in the timeline, please check the masterlist mentioned above.

"Today is going to be gruesome" you complained, sat outside Jujutsu High's HQ buildings, just behind the main one where most of the sorcerers usually stopped by before or after missions, dreading the next hours of work you'd have to endure while sleep-deprived. You had been up most of the night, finding it hard to sleep for no particular reason, and sighed at the thought that your bed would still be hours away from you, having to teach two classes — the first year's and second year's, respectively — in between. Gojo Satoru, I hate you for talking me into coming to Jujutsu High, you thought to yourself.

"Hey, beautiful" you heard a familiar voice coming from behind you. You turned your head and saw Hiromi, whose smile became a slightly concerned frown as he saw your face. "Oh, you don't look so good. Are you okay?"

"Not so much. I couldn't sleep at all last night, and now I'm supposed to teach those teens in just an hour. Ugh, I can barely think" you sighed. "And I'm surprised to see you here this early. Did you just come back from a mission?"

"About to go on one, actually" he replied, rubbing your shoulder softly. "Can I get you anything? Maybe a hot cup of water for your tea?"

You pondered for a moment. "I'd appreciate that, thank you."

He nodded and walked away, as you sighed deeply to yourself and rested your face on the table.

Your mind was drifting, and your eyes began to shut as you were dozing off. However, you heard some footsteps behind you, and lifted yourself up. "Hiromi, you were incredibly fast, how did you heat that wat-"

It was Nanami.

"Oh, h-hi" you said, instantly jolted awake. 

You both hadn't spoken to each other properly ever since you both went on your last joint mission to exorcize the Lover's Pass curse. On that occasion, he apologized for pulling away so suddenly after you both shared a night together, but you couldn't find it in yourself to trust him with your feelings again, even if you still had some for him.

More specifically, given you hadn't exchanged a word since then, you never got to tell him that after the debacle, you and Hiromi began dating — but would you, in any case? After all, you had only told Shoko about it.

The air instantly filled with awkwardness, as he nodded towards you in a silent greeting. He had the newspaper under one arm, and held a cup of coffee with the other.

Upon further inspection, Nanami noticed you looked very tired with deep bags under your eyes, but it took him a minute to decide if he'd actually ask you about it. You were both feeling very self-conscious, as he imagined you had no idea he knew you were dating someone else, thanks to Shoko.

"You don't seem to be very well." 

You grunted. "You're the second person to say that today. I know I look like hell right now, but c'mon, it can't be that bad!"

Nanami didn't even realize a tiny smile had formed on his face, and he stood there for a while as you mumbled about having a hard time sleeping the night prior, how you still had to teach two classes today, and that you dreaded being sent on a mission or having to grind work with Shoko before finally being let out your chains to go home and sleep.

As your rambling was over, you both stayed silent for some time, being yet again engulfed in discomfort. It was then that you remembered he had the newspaper with him.

"Are you... Going to sit down and read that?"

Nanami realized he'd been standing up holding his coffee and newspaper for some time now, and remembered what he was doing before running into you. "Oh, yes. I was looking for some place peaceful and quiet to read it."

"You can, uh, sit at this table. I won't be here much longer" you replied, unconsciously hugging yourself through the nervousness. Nanami seemed like he was about to say something and gave up on it about three times before he silently walked towards the opposite end of the table. The sorcerer sat down, opened his newspapers and lifted it just enough to almost cover his face. 

"Hey, I'm back, and here's your cup of hot water" you heard Hiromi say right behind you, softly jumping in surprise. "I'm sorry for the delay, I was having a hard time finding the teapot."

Nanami's hands tensed up, slightly crinkling the newspapers, but none of you noticed that. Nanami had barely registered you accidentally calling him Hiromi when he came up to you, and Hiromi's presence right now just added insult to injury, because at this point, you and Nanami could just about explode out of sheer discomfort.

You, especially, felt the urge to dig a hole in the ground and bury yourself in it.

Hiromi put the cup in front of you and noticed Nanami was sitting at the table, sparing him a polite smile.

"Oh, Nanami, good morning. It's nice to see you." Hiromi was unsure as to how you were feeling about Nanami this point in time, since it was obvious he was the person you had feelings for and decided not to pursue anything, even if you hadn't told him that expressly. However, since you probably had invited Nanami to sit at the table with you, the former lawyer decided to be cordial, after all, he did appreciate Nanami ever since having worked alongside him. They both had more in common than he had previously thought.

You also remembered that, after their joint mission, Nanami and Hiromi had become somewhat acquaintances.

However, you weren't registering anything anymore, with the insomniac daze swirling the world around your head. Because of that, your decision was to just take some of your tea pouches from inside your belt bag and throw them in the cup of hot water, letting them do the talking.

"Likewise" Nanami replied, entire body tensed up, unable to look Hiromi in his eyes as he said it. The ratio sorcerer had finally found it in himself to respect the man, but this entire situation right now just felt like a mess. His eyes were scrolling through the news, but the words were not making any sense.

"I'm about to push another boulder uphill" Hiromi said, poking fun at a Sisyphus and the Rock analogy both of them had once made about the work of a jujutsu sorcerer.

Nanami hummed in something resembling amusement, and Hiromi smiled, directing his attention back at you.

"I have to go now, but I'll give you a call when I'm done today, okay?" He said, rubbing your shoulder quickly with his hand. Even though Hiromi had joked about kissing you 'whenever, wherever' and talked about making your relationship public, he didn't want you to feel uncomfortable with public displays of affection in the workplace.

Oh, if only he knew how deeply uncomfortable you were this very instant.

"O-okay. Have a nice one" you replied, looking at him.

He smiled at you and tipped his head to Nanami, waving as he began to walk away.

"Bye, colleague."

Nanami just hummed again, this time with the same cadence as one would use to say 'bye'. His jaw was completely clenched, so he figured avoiding actual speech was a wise decision.

Well, this can't get any worse, you thought to yourself.

Then, you looked at Nanami, and he seemed just about to snap from all the tension built-up in his body underneath the nonchalant facade.

Sighing, you thought about it, and decided to just do something about it.

"Higuruma, he... I mean, I-" words were struggling their way out, but you figured it was better to just address the elephant in the room before things got even weirder.

"He's a fine colleague and a diligent sorcerer" Nanami replied, not taking his eyes from his paper. It wasn't like him to compliment someone like that, and then it clicked for you.

Oh, he must have noticed it.

"I-" You stuttered, yet again. Why is it so difficult to talk about this?

"There really is no need to" Nanami said, flipping an unread page on his newspapers. "How have you been?"

This was his way of asking if you were happy.

"I'm good. Thank you for asking"

He smiled at you, and his gaze had a hint of sadness to it. It chipped achingly to your heart, but barely, as you both began sharing a comfortable silence for the first time since you had last spoken to each other, something you had grown so accustomed to for a long time before the fallout.

After a short while, you took a sip of tea, and just knew this tea definitely didn't have enough caffeine to wake you up for the remainder of the day. At that, you sighed, disappointed. 

Nanami noticed your disgruntled face, and waited a few moments before asking you what was wrong.

"My tea is not going to solve my tiredness right now. Not by itself, I mean. I'll also need some coffee" you answered, rubbing your eyes, trying to see if that would help. "I'm just too tired to sort that out right now."

"You can have mine" Nanami immediately replied, mindlessly.

"Are you sure I can have your coffee?" You asked, hesitant.

You can have anything you want from m- "Certainly."

You picked up his coffee cup from the table and gave it a light sip, feeling the perfect balance of sweetness and bitterness hit your tongue as you did. The roast wall also exquisite, and brought up all the best notes from the drink. Of course his coffee is perfect. 

"Thank you, Nanami" you said, checking your wristwatch.

"You're welcome" he replied.

You saw it was almost time for your first class, so you just grabbed both the tea and the coffee, one in each hand, and began walking towards the classrooms. However, you stopped in your tracks for a second, looking at Nanami, and said, "I hope we get to spend more silence like this again. I missed it."

The sorcerer smiled and lifted his gaze at you.

"So did I."

Happy with the answer, you hurriedly strode across the headquarters, not noticing you were drinking from both cups at the same rate.

#jujutsu kaisen higuruma #higuruma x reader #jjk higuruma #jjk hiromi #hiromi x reader #higuruma hiromi #jjk imagines #jjk drabbles #jjk x you #jjk #jujutsu nanami #nanami kento #jjk nanami #jjk fanfic #nanami x reader #nanami x you #jujutsu kaisen

[luimagines]

Chain Love Language Headcanons

Masterlist

Self explanatory people!

This time I’ll dive a bit into what love languages the chain will be most inclined to exhibit to their loved ones.

First ones are the ones I personally headcanon and the second are the second result of taking this quiz in their stead.

Let’s go down the list!

Hyrule

I’ve talked about this already, multiple times actually, but oh well.

His biggest way to show his love for others is through Physical Touch.

Whether it’s a hand on the shoulder or an arm around you or hugs or hand holding- you name it- he’ll do it.

The next biggest thing would probably be Quality Time.

He doesn’t have a lot of friends and he has low enough confidence to almost expect to be brushed aside and forgotten- sometimes he tries to let it happen on purpose. 

So take the time to listen to him and include him on things and be close to him.

He appreciates it when someone takes the time to pay attention to him and wants to do something with him even if it’s as simple as checking out an old cave or what shined in the distance.

Be his travel buddy, yeah?

Twilight

Twilights would be Acts of Service.

He likes to feel helpful and useful and knows that there’s a lot that he’s capable of doing so he might as well be the one to do it.

He doesn’t want the people he cares about to work too hard or struggle so he offers his assistance whenever he can. (Watch for this, he can be prone to double book himself and take on more than he can chew).

The next biggest thing would probably be Quality Time.

It’s special for him when he can be with someone he cares about and do something or nothing and just exist next to each other.

He like to listen to people when they talk about things and when they listen to him in return just because they want to- even if neither of you know or care about wat the other person is talking about.

Or even if you get to do something together, anything.

Fishing, horse back riding, strolling through Kakariko Village, hiking- just spend time with him.

Four

Four’s love language would be Acts of Service as well.

He’s a man who always has to have his hands moving. He’s always doing something- he always has to be productive- he has to always be making something.

So he’s quick to put himself to work so that the people he cares about don’t have much to worry about. His brain works too fast for him to keep up with some stuff and he naturally shoulders a lot of work anyway. And if someone helps him out with a project he was struggling with of with the chores around the house that he wasn’t to attend to?

Well he’s bound to repay you tenfold.

He doesn’t make the rules just abides by them.

The next biggest thing would probably be Gift Giving/Receiving.

If this boy receives gifts of any kind he’s going to treasure them forever.

It’s going to go on display (if it can).

and since he’s always on the move with his projects, he’s going to constantly be making things for his friends and loved ones. Small things, big things, things they need to work with or repairing their tools and so on- or just getting them new ones all together- you name it.

Legend

Legend’s love language I think would fit best under Quality Time.

He doesn’t have a lot of friends, he doesn’t have a lot of family.

His whole life has been making connections and losing them either through circumstance or through the passage of time- his life has been nothing but goodbyes.

He cherishes the moments he gets to spend with the people he cares about.

Please spend time with him.

His second would probably be Words of Affirmation.

Similarly with the first one, he’s used to being on a deadline, a set amount of time he can spend with a person and he’s tired of getting to the end and looking back and wishing he could have said something different and or told them something else.

He’s quiet when he tells others that he cares about them- he’s got a large pride that keep him from screaming from the rooftops, but he appreciates it when he’s told that people care about him.

He gets in his head that he’s not good enough, that people don’t care and he’s going to be on his own time and time again.

Please tell him you love him and care about him.

He doesn’t have any one to tell him that they’re proud of him.

If he says that he cares about you, he means it.

Wild

Wild’s love language would probably be Words of Affirmation.

A lot of people write him as being the quietest of the group but hear me out.

He still communicates and he’s loves so much, and he’s not going to be silenced anymore in what he thinks either through sign or his voice.

He’ll tell others he loves then, cares about them, that he’d do anything for them and he’d tell them often.

It means more to him if others tell him something of equal of greater value.

He didn’t get to hear a lot of praise and acceptance growing up and even less so when he joined the guard. It was always things he was expected to do and he had to do it without complaint.

Let him know you care.

His second love language would probably be Quality Time.

He’s spent a lot of time on his adventure alone.

And he wants to share the so much of the world he got to experience with the people he cares about. 

He’s lost a lot of people close to him as well and he doesn’t want to take anyone else’s time on earth for granted. It once seemed like they would be around him forever, but now?

He wants to do everything and see everything and he wants to show you as well.

Even if it’s a simply as horseback riding together or just chilling out as it rains- or he goes to catch frogs in the river, he just wants to spend time with the people he cares about, he happens to have a lot of it now so he wants to put it to good use.

Time

Time’s love language would be Receiving/Giving Gifts.

He didn’t get a lot of things for himself as a child and the things that were given to him were of high importance.

It was ingrained in him to cherish and protect the things given to him with his life if need be. He’s more appreciative of the little things though when people give him a small gift that reminded them of him.

Smaller gifts over one large is more his speed.

He doesn’t need much to be happy but he likes giving things to others as a way of showing his love and hoping that they’ll cherish them as much as he cherishes the things he receives.

His second love language would probably be Acts of Service.

He’s always felt the need to be useful and there’s little that he can do.

Besides his time and energy is another way to give someone a gift right?

Even if it’s not the physical sense where he would have close to nothing to actually give you, he might as well give his strength and body and power to those he loves, to protect them, to make sure they’re safe and warm and never needing anything- so that they’re never without.

Don’t let him over work himself because he will.

Warrior

Warrior’s love language would be Act of Service.

He has a weird relationship with it though.

Because it’s always with underlying feeling of still not being enough- there’s more for him to do, everyone is relying on him and he can’t fail his loved ones so he has to give it his all in everything.

He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it more than have the time so you’re going to have to tell him to calm down. He just everyone he loves to be safe and happy and healthy and it ends up running him ragged half the time.

That being said, his second love language is Words of Affirmation.

Because he’s working so hard for the people he loves, he would rather hear that they’re proud of him and that they love him. 

He’s quick to sprout pet names and sweet nothings to his lover and he wants them to know that he cares about them so this guy doesn’t shut up about his love ever.

He’d leave a note for them to find their work place to let them know that he cares about them.

And he tells them daily. 

He’s quick to tell people how much he appreciates them and how important they are to him.

He knows it keeps people going and he never wants to see his loved ones give up.

Wind

Wind’s love language would be Physical Touch.

He’s always hugging someone or holding onto their arms or their hands, it’s just how he like to be close to people.

His sister tends to grab onto his hand at random intervals so he’s used to it and even grows into doing it to other people.

It’s how he shows that he feels safe with people and how he wants to keep those he cares about within reach in case he ever needs to protect them.

His second love language would be Quality Time.

There’s not a whole of people out on the sea and he’s spend a good portion of his adventures traveling alone and even then, it’s just him, his grandma and his sister.

With everyone going out to do their own thing, it’s hard to find someone who will take the time to do things with him so he appreciate any and every bit of attention he can get from other people.

Sky

Sky’s love language would be Receiving/Giving Gifts.

People on Skyloft are not shy about showing affection for one another.

Handholding and hugs and just telling people you’re important to them are all common place.

It’s not a big deal.

But Sky like to go the extra step beyond to give the people he cares about a small token of his love, so that even when he’s not around to say it, or show it, it’s a little reminder that he cares about them.

And yes, this implies he’d little love notes around for his love to find just because he wants to.

His second love language would be Quality Time.

He just likes being around people and it’s the time when he can tell and show people that he care about them.

It’s the time where he can say he cares and hug the people he cares about- they don’t even have to be doing anything- for all they could be doing is going flying together as the sun sets- he lives for the little moments.

Definitely the kind of guy to be up in the kitchen at 3 am, slow dancing with his lover as they take a break from making cookies.

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #linked universe x reader #it doesn't have to be x reader but i'm tagging it that way too

[patheticwithanem]

2020 in Retrospect

Hey friend,

I know it’s late, but I HAVE TO DO THIS. I kind of promised myself I’m writing about the year that was. I’m not exactly sure why; maybe it’s to put things in perspective going in to 2021? And today’s my fourth year anniversary with my employer, so I guess it’s perfect timing? (More on that later)

So I was going through my notes (I have this habit of writing down what happens on a daily basis - be it activities, emotions, drama, name it) and one thing’s for sure. 2020 SUCKED. It did. But I’m committing to this no matter what!

First things first: lots of profanities along the way. Well actually, I was about halfway writing the letter when fucking Tumblr decided to refresh and delete what I’ve been writing for about one fucking hour now. So I have to fucking do it all over again. If this is the Lord telling me to stop being sentimental about 2020, fret not my Lord! I’m one stubborn son of a bitch, so I’m carrying on.

Here’s how the rest of the year unfolded. 2020. Let’s go.

JANUARY. Reunions?

January 1. Had a get-together with a few relatives in Malabon. It was fun! I used to be so allergic to family reunions but I guess age creeping in changes you? You value people even more now? This was also the last time we’re able to spend some time with my uncle from Singapore. He brought his family to spend the holidays here. He’s a sweetheart and a great father who’s missed.

January 9. I attended a college dormmate’s wedding. I remember contemplating whether to go or not only to realize I’m actually lucky to be even invited given the fact that I chose to be distant for them for a long while. I also told myself that not showing up is so far from what I’m trying to be. Although I wasn’t there for the whole thing, I’m glad I did come. I was able to bond with my roommates once again whom I treated like brothers ten years ago and that was nice. A not-so-close dormmate even introduced me to his boyfriend and that’s huuuuge. The bride was beautiful too, and I’m glad she’s in the best place right now after all she’s been through. She’s a strong one, that girl.

January 11. Got invited to a birthday pool party of a colleague at work. I have to say I’m actually quite surprised I was invited to this. She’s always had my back though and always kind of looked after me, so I had to go. It was fun but I didn’t get drunk AT ALL. 

January 12. AND THIS IS WHERE SHIT STARTED HAPPENING. The Taal Volcano erupted. It was awful especially for everyone living near the area because everything was covered with ash. It was also a day before my brother’s birthday and we thought the ashfall would be worse the next day so we decided to celebrate earlier. 

January 19. Went to a fiesta. Did not expect to survive that at all. It was a different kind of neighborhood, but the people were nice. 

January 25. Went to a public market with co-workers to buy clothes, eat chicken wings for dinner and then our regular fix of karaoke. Good times. 

Anything else? I was able to book a birthday trip to Yogyakarta, which I eventually canceled because of youknowwhat. Tragic.

February. Blindside!

February 7. Blindside’s a bitch. Yes, that’s what I had written on my notes. I legitimately felt blindsided. So story: I have a friend who I found out was pregnant (let’s call her Ms. Preggy, sorry) and me and her bestfriend (let’s call him Work Son because he was my work son in a lot of ways) decided to hold an intervention for her. The four of us including a friend I’m going to call The-Now-Bestie (kind of a spoiler) whom I had a misunderstanding and was not in speaking terms with will be coming to Work Son’s place. Essentially, the goal was to make Ms. Preggy open up about her pregnancy and her issues with the douchebag father; make her feel that she has us and she doesn’t need to be alone in this. I think it went well, in that regard. However, the whole thing was awkward in epic proportions. It’s as if me and The-Now-Bestie didn’t want to acknowledge each other’s existence, and when we didn’t have a choice, we were sarcastic to each other. I also really felt like an outsider among the four that time; like I wasn’t supposed to be there and wasn’t really contributing to anything. It was a really lonely feeling. I decided to distance myself to them after that.

February 13. WINNERS AT WAR PREMIERE! Words can’t even express how excited I was to see some of my heroes again on screen! Parvati with that “phoenix rising from the ashes” confessional? Damn, girl! Still a fucking legend! It was also nostalgic Yul working his godfather magic once again. I’ve always seen him as a top-tier winner and someone I looked up to for what he represented to the Asian community and the history of Survivor. It was also nice seeing Kim, Tyson, Tony, Sophie, Natalie and Sandra. But I must say I kind of missed Todd. He was my favorite winner and was a great storyteller, a great strategist and a great character with an amazing comeback story. He would’ve been perfect for a season with this caliber of players. And as much as I hate Jeff Probst for shoving him down our throats, I wanted to see Cochran play with these winners! Caramoan’s my first season (a late superfan, yes) and he’s the very reason I got so hooked with the show. I used to think it’s a game where people like me never win. So to see someone like Cochran who’s awkward in every sense of the word (and owning it) win Survivor, it is very inspiring. I like speaking in metaphors and it’s funny how much metaphorical Survivor can be to how I see life now. I see Cochran and if he can win in Survivor, I feel like I can win in life, as silly as that sounds. Cochran sucked his first season, but he then went on to play this dominant game his second try while still managing to be the adorkable underdog that he is. I love that story. Man, I get so worked up when I talk about Survivor! I wish I had that same passion with anything else.

February 19. Mom slipped and had to be rushed to the nearest ER. Good thing there were no fractures and she was fine. I guess we can thank the fats for that? LOL

February 21 ‘til 23. WEEKEND STAYCATION! I needed this! Drinking at the hotel taproom with a live band? YES! Indian for lunch and surf-and-turf buffet for dinner? YES YES YES! That lamb chops, MY LORD. Thank you.

February 29. Leap Day. I started journaling again. 

March. FUCKING COVID.

March 16. The Start of the Lockdown we all come to love now (punk, sarcasm). 

March 17. Politics is so taboo to discuss especially over dinner. But then BAM. I had a major fight with my dad (and by major, I mean MAJOR in a get-out-of-the-house-in-the-middle-of-the-pandemic kind of major). It was basically about a comment he made that’s so misogynistic (towards the Vice President) that I just knew I can’t just let go. It was sooo bad I got all pissed, and when I’m pissed, I can get scary. Maybe it’s the voice or the eyes or both, but the fight got really heated on the verge of getting physical. Which now that I think about it is stupid just because of fucking different political views. Well, I can never get behind the President and they’re huge fans of him and I’ve come to terms with that but it’s just... bleh. I’m not even gonna try to rationalize it because I can’t. It’s just.. disgusting. Oh fucking well. 

April. Wander-fucking-lust.

April 1. I started a 30-day Financial Detox which basically meant no unnecessary expenses. No online shopping, no paying for leisure. None. It was April Fools, but I was dead-set on saving! (Spoiler alert: I failed.)

April 6. Meltdown. I just really couldn’t hold it in anymore.

April 11. Dad’s birthday. After not talking for over a month (which is no easy feat in a tiny condominium unit), we acknowledged each other’s presence. By April 15, it’s like nothing happened anymore. He even gave me a home haircut (which for a beginner, is pretty good). On other news, I started watching The Politician on Netflix and t’was the day I started obsessing on Ben Platt and his music. 

April 16. A year ago, I was enjoying sidewalk pho and almost making friends at Cu Chi Tunnels and the Saigon Skydeck of the Bitexco Financial Tower in Ho Chi Minh. Damn, covid.

April 18. That crazy border-crossing from Saigon to Phnom Penh a year ago. That was fulfilling. Damn, covid.

April 19. A year ago, I was experiencing sunrise at Angkor Wat. Wander-fucking-lust UGH. 

April 30. That Town Hall shoutout from our company’s President because of reaching my quota from last month. That really felt good. As much as I hate to admit it, I like being validated from time to time. It definitely meant a lot especially coming from her who took a chance on me. I was patting my back.

MAY. Endure. Let Go. 

May 14. KING TONY WON. Very well-deserved win. A disappointment of a season if you ask me, but props to the king for dominating an all-winners season. Respect for that. Also Natalie and Michele played great games as well and they should be very proud of themselves. I feel like a proud father to these winners HAHAHA!

May 16. Was pleasantly surprised with Dead to Me. That car scene between Jen and Judy on that ninth episode from the second season? Damn. That’s one of the few moments I teared up because of a TV show. That was powerful. All that tension building up and then that sudden release? I really felt that.

May 26. Why do I always feel all this fucking rage inside of me? I try to think of any triggers but I can’t seem to find one that’s actually reasonable. It’s like the isolation getting the best of me. I initially thought quarantine’s going to be a cakewalk for an introvert like myself, but it wasn’t the case. I feel like I’m losing my shit because I was stripped off of the usual things I have access to whenever I feel uneasy and anxious and angry like this. Endure, let go, I know. But it’s so much easier said than done, right?

JUNE. Breathe.

June 12. So the plan to sell the condo and find a new place is real. We went to this great place in Valenzuela and it was a great house and all but I felt weird. Maybe I was having trouble letting go? Maybe it’s just me being averse to change yet again?

June 15. Slept 6am for that How To Get Away With Murder series finale. That speech. VIOLA. Chills all over my body. 

June 18. New phone was delivered. That was fast.

June 27. First time visiting the village we moved to. We were checking a different house this time and was already picturing us living there. Still felt weird, but maybe less.

Looking at it now, I realize almost nothing happened in this stretch of months. Pathetic.

JULY. Change (that’s not necessarily good lol)

July 3. The Anti-Terrorism Bill signed. FUCK THE CIRCUS THAT IS THE PHILIPPINE GOVERNMENT. 

July 10. Doomsday. The ABS-CBN renewal disapproved. FUCK THE CIRCUS THAT IS THE PHILIPPINE GOVERNMENT. Also, that first house we checked was bought this day. First heartbreak.

July 22. Decided to donate to one of my elementary teachers to help finance school supplies for his students in the province. That felt good. 

July 24. folklore’s goooood. This is the Taylor Swift sound that I love. (I had to write that down because that was a 2020 highlight to be honest)

AUGUST. Getting older. Again.

August 2. Donated to another cause: to help a really close friend’s mom (who’s a school principal) on financing their students’ lesson modules (they needed more paper so the donation was going to be used to buy more paper). That felt good.

August 3. Started obsessing on Dear Evan Hansen. I mean come on. HOW COME I ONLY KNEW OF THIS NOW?!?! The story, the acting, the soundtrack... it felt like I asked the Lord for a musical for me and he gave this on a silver platter. 

August 9. Lasagna, baked sushi, lechon belly, pansit, cake. Weird combination, I know, but that’s me!

August 11. Discovered the Slowly app. Changed my life since then! I’m not even exaggerating. I guess it has to do with feeling extremely lonely amid the pandemic and getting this platform where you can talk to literally anyone while still keeping your anonymity. And it strips you off of instant gratification you’re so used to because you actually have to wait for your letters to be sent and to arrive. A great exercise for patience if you ask me! And since you have to wait, you make your letters longer and more worthwhile. It’s a platform free of judgment which relies heavily on building actual mental and emotional connections. It’s a gift, truly. NOT EXAGGERATING; YES I’M THAT LONELY.

August 23. The house search continued. This time, the South!

August 24. It was my first time watching a Korean drama and I gotta say I get the hype now. Korea makes great stories and they take their time when telling these stories. The story centering about mental health was definitely what got me to try watching It’s Okay to Not Be Okay, but the show’s so much more than that. That was a great watch.

SEPTEMBER. Finally some light?

September 1. Second year anniversary. I still really miss her.

September 5. My cat’s 5th birthday! Of course we had to celebrate for her with baked macaroni and burnt cheesecake. 

September 11. Lost uncle. He gave a good fight. 

September 19. SENSE8. It’s a show that doesn’t need any explaining. It’s the BEST. I love this cast SO MUCH. I remember thinking if I ever get a tattoo (which is unlikely), I’ll maybe have the title of that Sense8 series finale inked on me. AMOR VINCIT OMNIA. Love conquers all. 

September 27. After a series of unfortunate events, we were led to this house on the same village we keep going back to, and the moment we saw it, we were sold. This is going to be our house. And it happened.

OCTOBER. Surprises?

October 6. Hooked up with someone I probably shouldn’t.

October 12. Booked a trip for next year because I’M HOPEFUL AS FUCK.

October 21. Had the best conversation I had in a long time. 

October 22. Hooked up with someone I probably shouldn’t. 

October 28. Organized a digital event for work. I’m still on the fence whether I’m proud of it or not. It was my first event, and I’ve wanted to do that for a long time. While I enjoyed all the preparation that came with it, from making that tactical marketing plan to coordinating with the organizers and my team, I felt like it was bland. There were lapses here and there and I know that we all tried the best we could, but maybe I just pictured it a little better in my mind? It wasn’t a flawless event and maybe I wanted it to be flawless. But it was fun. I never would’ve imagined me hosting an event, but I did. 

NOVEMBER. Decisions.

November 14. So news came and we’re finally moving. The buyer of the condo got approved and it was only a matter of weeks to settle documents and payment and we’re good to go. I had mixed feelings about it. It took me back to that time we started looking for houses. I wasn’t exactly ready to let go of the place I grew with for the past five years. And I wasn’t also ready to let go of the convenience, and the relationships I only have started building with friends I found along the way. But at that moment I knew I had to be happy because they were happy. My family was happy. I knew I have to be happy.

November 21. Started all the packing. Packing meant decluttering and reminiscing, so letting go of more things which was overwhelming at first, but inevitable. 

November 23. I had something checked in the hospital, and something happened and it wasn’t supposed to go that way but it did and it was so fucking bizarre lol

November 28. HAPPY MOVING DAY. It’s that day of the year. Stress was off the charts because of the time constraint and frankly, the lack of preparedness. Good thing a few people helped us with the rest of the packing. It was an impossible task for me and my sister alone so we were glad we got all the help we needed. I did most of the heavy lifting, so I had bruises all over my body for weeks, but after all was said and done, it felt surreal. Felt like everything coming full circle. That first night in the new home? I’ll never forget that. That was special.

December. The end of an era.

December 2. I went back to the condo to stay for a few more days. Get to feel the place one last time. Also lost a huge deal at work to a competitor. I usually really get depressed with these losses, but for some reason I felt indifferent about it. I guess it was my mind telling me I’ve mentally checked out of work already? That maybe it is really time to move on to something that’ll make me care about what I do again? Make me feel again?

December 4. Met someone (who we can call the Professor) I’ve been talking to for a while now. We’ve had some really great conversations leading to this night; talks at 3AM that’s kind of liberating? I was upfront about the moving and that I only have a few days left in the place which is probably why it happened. Professor was also upfront about leaving the country in a few months for an opportunity to work and do research in Japan for five fucking years. It was awkward at first; but we eventually warmed up to each other and spent the night together. 

December 5. Things escalated pretty quickly. The Professor gave me a shower (that was weird but I was feeling it and I thought it was sweet and sexy?). We cuddled until we slept and there was breakfast prepared when I woke up. I don’t usually get to experience this kind of stuff so I really appreciated that. I was feeling it. I thought I can get used to this! I left the place and was invited back again so I stayed over for another night. We’ve had a few more interesting conversations. I was not expecting some of the things we discussed especially the talk about long-distance relationships. The Professor asked me what I think about it and I was honest; I’m not against it but it’s not something I’ll take a chance on if I wasn’t sure about it. Mantra’s always been connection first before commitment. I’m not the “take a leap of faith” kind-of guy; I needed to be sure. Or at the very least be really mentally and emotionally connected with the person. I thought that made perfect sense. I still do.

December 6. So it was finally goodbye. Me and my sister went to the nearest church to donate a few clothes and shoes and to attend a mass. Bid farewell to the Professor too and promised each other to keep in touch. I also had an awkward encounter with my sister’s “friend” who she sneaked in the condo for God knows what for. Pretty sure they did the nasty.

December 13. We went to our old house (the one I spent my younger years in) to get a few stuff for the new house. I only really wanted to get my old bicycle because I want to be biking regularly for the next year. I want to take that fitness journey seriously! So I got the bike and I got to spend some time with some childhood friends. Good stuff.

December 15. A teammate resigned at work. The funny thing is he did it after getting that 13th month bonus HAHAHA! I can’t blame him though after learning about the salary he gets when he’s performing three functions in the team. That’s insane. But it really made me wonder: am I still in this for the long haul? Or do I move on too?

December 17. So I had my work desk and wardrobe delivered. Felt so nice buying things for my room! 

December 19. We got a new dog! Another French Bulldog. He’s pretty sweet. Someone’s not happy! (MY MOM)

December 22. And then this happened. We were supposed to meet after my dentist appointment (which I only used as an excuse to meet and I thought that was obvious) but the Professor never showed up. I waited for FIVE FREAKIN HOURS. I had like clothes with me because we agreed I sleepover but FUCK. Good thing a friend kept me company, but that was horrible. I thought YOU NEVER DO THAT TO ANYONE. I deserve better.

December 24. We had our house blessed. It was all super spontaneous; we invited a few friends and relatives over and had an intimate gathering. Mom got emotional (AGAIN).

December 27. So Ms. Preggy (from February - oooh that rhymed) had her son baptized. Since she lives a little father from the city, we decided to have a little staycation with some friends there too. The-Now-Bestie and Work Son was there, and we had beer and homecooked food and a slew of great conversations to cap off the year. 

Also December 27. I knew I needed to get something off my chest. And I just had to say it. 

“You’re so unfair. You shouldn’t have done that. Gave me false hopes. Gave me a “3-day trial period” only to disappear without any warning. Made promises you never intended to keep. You could’ve just told me you’re not interested anymore and I would’ve been fine with that but instead, you ghosted me. For the past few weeks since that weekend, it never seemed like you wanted to get to know me better. Or even just keep the communication going. It’s been one-sided and I wonder: has it always been this way? Maybe I’m remembering things differently. I told you I like you and I meant that. I’m still wrapping around my head why and how it happened to be honest. Maybe it’s that weekend? Maybe it’s the conversations leading up to when we first met? I don’t know. But things changed after that and I should ask you for an explanation but it’s really not the point. The point is I thought we can work something out and you hurt me. You may feel like you’re running out of time because of Japan but it’s no excuse to do that to anyone, really. You seem so sure about what you want so I hope you get whatever that is. Merry Christmas. Thanks for the memories.”

That was intense.

December 28. The Professor responded. “I apologize... I am getting attached... I had to “ponder on its implications to me in the long run”... I decided to slow down... It hurts... “That weekend that we met felt like I knew you before”... I am afraid... “You have no idea how hard it is to leave everything behind every 4-5 fucking years not because I wanted it but because I have to”... I still hope to continue whatever we have... “I will always remember you. Please don’t forget about me.”... YADA YADA YADA. 

I know. You know me. I try to empathize as much as possible. But I mean, come on. These are things I already know. It’s not what I needed to hear.

December 31. I needed to say something one last time. There’s already a lot of uncertainties in the world with COVID and life and everything else. I knew I needed answers; I want the binary. I want the black or white for this one. I’m not taking the gray with me next year. So I asked the following questions:

“What do you want from me? Do you want to be friends? Or we stick with occasional catching up on Viber every once in a while (because that’s what it sounds like to me)?”

“What do you want to get from your last two months here? What are you looking for? Just make the most “fun’? Or look for something that will stick?”

“Have you told me anything you really didn’t mean?”

“That one time we talked about long-distance, were you asking me?”

Fast forward to now: I never got the answer I needed. I guess this is one of those rare occasions where no answer is the answer. And after a few weeks of contemplating about it, I am leaving it behind in 2020. 

I’m actually at peace with that.

So there you have it. The suck-fest that is 2020. The first month of the new year wasn’t so bad. I feel this great energy. This year’s going to be different. I did tell you that this letter’s perfect timing. That’s because I’ve resigned and I’m moving on. A friend told me a while ago that he’s proud of me for finally taking action. The 2018 version of myself wouldn’t have done what I did and he was happy for me. I wanted a clean slate and I took it. That I was finally taking ownership of my life. 

I was elated. My friend usually spoils me with compliments and encouragement and my ever reliable negative self-image tend to disagree with him but for the first time in a very long time, it felt right. I’m not usually excited for New Years, but I guess I am?

I say bring it on, 2021.

Until then,

Patheticwithanem

#2020 sucked #2021 #perfect timing #reunions #blindside #Survivor #winners at war #metaphors #fuck covid #fuck dds #wanderlust #letting go #fuck the government #philippine government is a circus #folklore #getting older #dear evan hansen #slowly #house search #korean dramas #SENSE8 #amor vincit omnia #best conversation in a long time #moving on #nostalgia #mentally checked out #ghosted #i deserve better #blessing #the year in review

[calliecat93]

Well didn’t get this done before Chapter Five came out, but I’m still MUCH more caught up than I had been. Good thing they’re going on a six week break here soon since that’ll not only let me catch my barrings... but let my soul have a break, GOOD GOD THESE PAST TWO CHAPTERS HIT HARD!As far this specific chapter goes... boy I did not expect me to shock me as much as it did. So w\let’s not waste anymore time and jump right into it.

Overview

Robyn is recalling a story about Joanna in prison, but neither Jaques or Qrow are all that into. But she does manage to get Qrow to finally smile, as well as notice him still holding Clover’s badge. She apologizes for what happened, which lets Qrow vent about the entire fiasco and how for the first time in so long, it felt like he had made a connection without having to fear his Semblance ruining it. Robyn... actually understands, herself having been ostracized due to her lie detecting Semblance making people fear her revealing their secrets. Harriet and Marrow enter, throwing Watts ack into his cell. Harriet doesn’t believe Qrow declaring his innocence, even when Robyn offers to use her Semblance. Robyn also calls Harriet out on essentially blaming others and not caring about the truth since it’s easier for her to not accept her own blame. Before Harriet can act, Marrow stops her and the speedster storms off/

Back in the tundra, JYR are still giving chase to The Hound, Jaune even launching Ren at it. It doesn’t work and The Hound even calls for backup, summoning more Grimm. It leads to a giant chase sequence, including a new song that IDT has a title yet, but it is dark as Hell. The chase ends with two of the bikes being destroyed, Yang and Jaune almost falling over a cliff until Ren uses his grappling features to save them, and the three are forced to watch as The Hound escapes with Oscar in it’s clutches. Back up in Atlas, RWBNM have gone to, surprisingly, the Schnee Manor to lay low and tend to Nora. Whitley is less than pleased, especially with what Weiss did not even 24 hours ago in-show, but Weiss makes it clear that they’re not leaving and she sends him to his room. As Weiss and May tend to Nora, Blake sees Ruby worried about the others. She suggests that Ruby can still call Yang... but there’s one problem, Ruby already did.

JYR are out of signal range, forcing them to make their way back to Mantle on-foot. During the trek however, Ren’s closed up attitude is flaring up, which eventually causes Yang to get on his case. Ren i9s frustrated due to not just losing Oscar, but everything that has happened. Losing the Relics, Ironwood’s betrayal, the current Grimm attack with Salem just outside the doorstep. Even with yang pointing out their accomplishments and admitting that they have made mistakes but still pulled through, Ren’s anger flares as he points out that they are WAY in over their heads. Jaune tries to calm them both down, but Ren continues to point to how Ruby is leading them despite still being a kid, he himself is an orphan form the middle of nowhere, and the biggest shock is him getting after Jaune for forging his way into Beacon. This shocks everyone, even Ren himself, but Jaune simply says that he’s getting out of the cold and walks on. Yang asks if Ren just wats to push everyone away before following, leaving Ren shocked and upset.

Meanwhile... oh boy, this scene. Oscar wakes up and standing right across from him is Salem. She addresses Ozma and how long it’s been since she’s seen him and... yeah it’s pretty unsettling. Oscar tries to act like Oz, but Salem sees right through it and tries to get Oscar to give her answers. He genuinely doesn’t know where the Beacon Relic is, so Salem tries to get the password to the Lamp out. When he tries to use the ‘out of questions’ ploy... Salem uses her magic to... magically torture him... yeah it’s... rough. Oscar still doesn’t talk, so Salem brings out Hazel... you know, the guy who hayes Oz probably more than anyone and has sworn to kill him? Yeah...

Cinder meets with Salem, taken back by The Hound which Salem calls an experiment. Cinder again tries to convince her to let her go after Penny, but Salem again orders her to stay put. Cinder agrees... well, verbally anyways. But she knows that the heroes are likely going to still try and launch Amity, so sh decides to go for the Maiden Power anyways. Neo is less than thrilled with this plan, but Cinder has another person willing to help her: Emerald.

Back in the tundra, JYR have found shelter for the night and Jaune admits that Ren is correct about how he cheated his way into Beacon. But he’s since realized that he was above his mistake and tries to convince Ren to not push them out, knowing fully well how all that it does is hurt you more. If it did any good, Ren doesn’t show it as he goes to sit outside. Yang has found a part to fix the bike and also assures Jaune that she knows that he worked hard to get to where he is now. She starts working on the part before asking Jaune if ‘she’ thinks any less of her. Jaune, assuming that she means Ruby, assures her that they’re sisters and will be fine... but Yang was talking about a certain cat girl. Our episode ends here... but not before showing us the ice nearby beginning to crack... thanks a lot CRWBY!

Review

Like I said in the intro, I didn’t expect this chapter to shock me like it did. Did I expect intensity? Of course, especially after the last chapter? Did I expect what we got? Nope, but it was perfect!

Let’s talk about Ren first. Ever since last volume, it’s been clear that he’s been unraveling. He wasn’t engaging in Nora’s antics anymore, was more closed up than usual, seemed in agreement with Ironwood at one point, and of course his mini-breakdown in the finale Not even Nora and him kissing helped, heck considering what happened after it only seemed to make him worse. Even now he’s at serious odds with Nora for the first time since childhood, something that is clearly bothering him despite him keeping it to the chest. He’s trying to keep his focus on his duty, but with everything going more and more wrong, the facade is not only shattering, but the cracks are causing him to push those close to him away.

His argument with Yang was a tense moment. I like it though. Not only for more unique character dynamics, but out of every character Yang will lay it out as it is. If Ren’s going to have an attitude problem, then she will call it out and not give a damn about the reason why. Since Nora can’t get though to him, the harsher approach is kind of the only thing left. Ren’s breakdown was hard to watch... and he is right to an extent. They are in over their heads. Their decision, even if the right one morally, is creating more problems and endanger more lives. Ruby is still a kid and she’s placed far too much on herself. I think he is underestimating himself and the others about not being ready, but his concerns are completely understandable and he has some good, if harsh, points.

But then he brings up Jaune cheating his way into beacon. Yeah, been a while since that came up, huh? I actually gasped when that came up. While Ren clearly didn’t mean for that to come out, the fact that he did when pointing out that they’re way over their heads does display at least some doubts he has about his leader. JNR have grown close over the past few volumes, Ren and Nora essentially considering Jaune family by the time of Volume 6. So hearing this was hard, especially since all that Jaune was doing was trying to calm him and Yang down.

I do, however, like how Jaune reacted. Back in the early volumes, he likely would have taken it as a blow to his confidence and gotten huffy about it. Now? While the blow clearly stung, he keeps himself in check and keeps focus on finding shelter. Then once there, he outright admits that Ren’s right and tries to comfort him. He tries to advise him on opening up and how closing yourself off doesn’t help. Considering that he tried this both in V1 when we found out how he cheated and after Pyrrha died and only getting better when he allowed others to help, he absolutely knows how Ren feels. But the fat that he handled this so maturely and tried to help his friend instead of get angsty about it shows how much he’s grown. It’s really nice to see.

Now let’s talk about Weiss and Whitley. So this got some... mixed reception. Some were upset about Weiss pointing her weapon and Whitley and her general harsh behavior towards him this chapter. Now I do understand the first part since I was similarly annoyed at Yang for threatening Qrow in Volume Six when all that he was trying to do was be reasonable about the Lamp. It was likely too harsh, but in farness Weis sis not only trying to help save the kingdom, but one of her teammates is in critical condition and she has no time for Whitley to be angry at her. The Manor is the safest place at the moment, and she needs to get Nora care now. Not saying it’s a justification, but it isn’t her being mean for the sake of it either.

But even so... guys I’m sorry, but do you seriously expect Weiss to suddenly forgive and coddle Whitley this soon? After years of him belittling her and rubbing his success in her face while she was punished, not to mention seeming more concerned about the family reputation than the current conflict? I’m sorry , but it’s not that simple. Yes, Whitley is also a victim who was manipulated and groomed by his father and unlike Weiss, he was never able to get a proper support system or have any family to help like how Weiss had Winter. I do feel bad for him, and I do think that Weiss will take her mother’s words form the last volume and will help Whitley later in the volume. But they’ve both hurt each other. Whitley by treating Weiss badly, and Weiss not giving him support like she was given. They’re both victims AND hurt each other. Some try to paint it as one is problematic and the other is an innocent child, and that’s simply untrue. They’re only going to realize that if and when they talk out their problems with each other out, it’s just a matter of when it’ll be. It takes time to mend these kinds of things, sadly.

Next is the villains scene... ho boy. So I’m gonna wait on Cinder for the next chapter, but her ignoring Salem in favor of power isn’t a shock at all. No, let’s discuss Oscar. Just... this poor, poor kid. He’s trying to be brave, but seeing him get tortured and especially the screaming?! Aaron Dismuke, why do this to me you jerk?! I do admire him for trying it imitate Oz and keep his composure, but it was just so... brutal to watch. Salem doing it so calmly and being perfectly willing to wait for the answers since she can just make Oscar suffer is... well, evil. And don’t think I missed her with the shadow versions of her daughters. Some say that humanizes her, but since she remorsefully tortured a child and sicked an emotionally unstable brute to physically harm him without a care in the world... no. It didn’t excuse Ironwood, and it sure as Hell isn’t excusing Salem. Tis just makes her all the more terrifying.

Okay... last thing is that scene at the end. The Bumblebee implication scene. So... I won’t lie it did annoy me at first. Before anyone says anything, it was NOT because of hating the ship or anything stupid like that. I’m not a huge Bumblebee fan, but anyone who keeps saying there’s nothing there at this point is living in denial. It’s happening people and since at least Volume 6, I think they’ve been doing it pretty well. My issue is mainly just because... we’ve had plenty of Bumblebee content. Volume 7 had them together in pretty much every scene, and I just don’t like having a pair of characters limited like that. I had the same issue with Renora, especially in Volumes 1-3, and with shipping in general. The main reason though is that I want there to be some more focus on Ruby and Yang because I feel like it’s been a long time and that there is a genuine conflict between them that can bring some interesting things for both. I’m not saying they need to be at each other’s throats, but siblings DO argue and no, it doesn’t always get easily resolved and I am speaking form experience here. To be fair it could happen later and Ruby herself hasn’t been pondering on it that much either. Heck Blake seemed more concerned about it than either of them have. But I would like to see more than just the one pair that I’ve already seen focused on plenty of times because it’s limiting. That’s just a personal thing though and I’ve always enjoyed sibling stuff more than romance, so yeah just a me thing.

That being said, those saying that Yang doesn’t care about Ruby need to calm down. No, that is NO the case. Did we forget Yang trying to console a broke Ruby despite her own grief just last volume? Mere hours ago in-show at that? Despite what I said above and while she’s clearly concerned after Ruby’s recent choices, Yang still loves and ultimately trusts her sister. She never said that she didn’t think that Ruby would fail or was wasting her time, she just felt like Mantle needed them more and the consequences to trying were too much. Heck this is a spoiler, but considering her reaction in the next chapter, it only reinforces that belief. At least with Blake, this is the first time they’ve willingly split apart and Yang clearly still has some abandonment issues and concerns. Plus... yeah, it’s natural when you have feelings for someone to worry if they made a bad choice that may make them doubt them. Blake won’t, but it’s understandable. Heck, Blake was clearly concerned about Yang when trying to get Ruby to call. I think she was trying to comfort Ruby as well with the suggestion, but it was still pretty evident... also Ruby and Blake interaction, yay! Still yeah guys, let’s just... chill a little bit and see what more comes of anything.

Okay, got that out of my system, and I apologize if it came across wrong. Whatever annoyance I had I’m over anyways, especially after the recent chapter. Anyways, the chapter had so much good. Plus we not only had a badass chase sequence, but a new song! Again, IDK the title, but it was another banger for sure. The opening scene with row and Robyn bonding and Robyn calling out Harriet was great. Marrow’s subtle expressions showing how not okay he is, and I’m seriously hoping that he may be the one to free the others. It would be a really good move for his character in him deciding that being lawful doesn’t equal the right thing, and making it right especially considering his interaction with Robyn last volume. The animation was good with the backgrounds looking fantastic, the pacing has been on fire, and of course that ominous ending. God they’re trying to keep us on edge, and I love it!

Chapter Stats

Favorite Character: Lie Ren Favorite Scene: Ren losing it in the tundra Least Favorite Scene: Probably the wrong term, but seeing Oscar be tortured while well done was hard. Favorite Voice Actor: Neath Oum (Ren Favorite Animation: JYR chasing The Hound Rating: 9.9/10

Final Thoughts

This was fantastic, especially in the character department. I haven’t been this shocked in a good while. It hurt no doubt, but the writing and voice performances were so well done. Seriously, this is probably Neath’s best performance to date. Add in the great animation, the tone being on point, and the set-ups with the Schnee Manor and cracking ice and the fact that this is only Chapter Four is crazy. But it’s only going to get crazier people... oh so, so much crazier. Only one review to go until I’m back to being caught up... my poor heart XD

#rwby #rwby8 #rwby spoilers #rwby reviews #rwby musings #callie reviews

[patandpran]

The Nuisance and the Handsome Prince - A Sarawatine Medieval AU - Chapter 18

Tine is an aspiring Squire who has been training his whole life to work alongside the Kingdom’s finest Knights. Sarawat is a Prince who, on the outside, seems fierce and unapproachable. He is disinterested in any of his royal duties, namely his Knight training. What happens when Tine is assigned to be the fierce and handsome prince’s Squire?

Find the Masterpost here Read on Archiveofourown here.

Tine shivered in the confines of the stone cell. It was different than the one his Father had been in. He was in the more public dungeons of the Castle, as if the Head Knight wanted to show him off as a prize that he had won.

His clothing had been stripped away to ensure that no other hidden weapons were concealed with them. He had been given rags to put on instead and they stunk like mildew and decay, likely belonging to the last prisoner that had been kept within these walls.

A shred of moonlight crept in from the small barred window that was at the top of his cell. Tine was thankful he had some fresh air to breathe as he assumed he would have a long wait within the cell before his Trial would take place and he would be condemned to death for Treason.

Tine had long accepted his fate, knowing that whatever path his revenge took, it would result in something dire for him. He had not entirely succeeded but at least his Father was free, even though he was still not sure who to thank for that. He knew there was an underground network brewing in the Castle, which Man had reached out to help free his Father. Tine wondered who exactly was at the Head of it but hoped that they would continue to make changes that would benefit the Kingdom as a whole and fight against injustice like his Father’s capture.

There was change on the horizon. Tine just wouldn’t be alive to see it.

The moonbeams danced along the bridge of his nose and taunted Tine, making him think of the screaming sound that Sarawat had made as he was pulled from the field. He wondered if they had continued with the fight… Had Sarawat won….?

Tine could hear the music coming from the Revelries that were to celebrate the closing of the Knight’s Trials. They would last for three days and, on the final evening, the Knight Ceremony would occur and Prince Sarawat would announce who he intended to marry.

Tine was somewhat relieved that he wouldn’t have to present for such an announcement as he knew it would break his heart more than it had already been. The thought of Sarawat with someone else made Tine’s blood boil but the reality of them ever being together was even further from a possibility as they were separated not only by their classes but by literal stone walls.

“I just hope that you find happiness.” Tine whispered to the moon. “And that you find it in your heart to someday forgive me, Wat.”

+++++++++++

Sarawat sat between his Mother and Father with a vacant look on his face. Ever since he had seen Mil’s blood on the field and watched the person he cared for most in the world dragged away to the Dungeons, Sarawat had been silent. He clutched Tine’s Wolf Brooch in his hand and turned it over and over like some sort of sick ritual.

The Knight Trial Closing Revelries had begun. Everyone who was anyone in the Kingdom was in attendance and wearing their grandest attire. The Ballroom was decorated even more extravagantly than the Ball and the dance floor was full of twirling couples. It was dizzying for any spectator but the Prince paid it no mind and instead stared into nothingness. His Mother reached over and put one palm gently on her son’s. It was the hand that held the Brooch. “Steady, my son. It is not the time to show weakness. There are Hunters everywhere and you are now the biggest Prey there is.”

Sarawat barely registered his Mother’s words as she whispered them to him. He didn’t care what happened to him. If someone was plotting to kill him, he wouldn’t put up a fight. He no longer had anything to lose. In a few short moments, he had lost his best friend and the man he loved more than the world itself. Everything was shattered and broken, far beyond repair.

“Where is Phukong?” The King hissed at the Queen, a look of agitation on his face. “I will not have both of my sons in a state when a treasonous prisoner has escaped and another traitor has been revealed to be under our noses all along. We cannot appear to be weak at a moment like this.”

Sarawat stirred at the mention of his brother who he suddenly noticed was nowhere to be seen. A feeling of guilt shot through him as he realized he was likely still at Mil’s side in the Infirmary. Sarawat wanted nothing more than to turn back time to that morning where things had been awful but at least manageable. Now, he just felt numb.

“Both Sarawat and Phukong have been through a lot today.” The Queen shared gently with the King, keeping her face composed and elegant, just in case any subjects were eavesdropping. “We should let our sons process things in the way that they need to…”

“They are Princes of this Kingdom, not delicate flowers.” The King spat back. “There is no time for emotions to get in the way when a Traitor has been at our Son’s side this whole time. How did you not see it, Sarawat?”

At this, the Brooch dropped from Sarawat’s hand and he growled, “I was blinded and manipulated? Is that what you want to hear? I am sorry that I try to see the best in people and that cost me so much. You have no idea what I am navigating right now, Father. I need some fresh air…”

“Sarawat!” His Mother cried after him but the Prince had already torn through the crowd but not before snatching up the Brooch again.

Sarawat was on the Hunt and he was not sure for what. He needed to sink his teeth into something or scream into the night. It was all too much for him to handle. He stalked through the crowd and emerged into the Royal Gardens which were shockingly silent for a night such as this.

He wished he had his sword so that he could cut up the rose bushes but he opted for his fists instead. As his fists tore through the plants, the smell of iron filled his nostrils as the thorns ripped apart his skin. Rivulets of blood began to pour down onto the soil as he continued with his attack, the pain never quite catching up with him.

“Wat…”

Sarawat stilled at the sound of his younger brother’s voice and he winced as his fists exploded with pain.

Phukong rushes to his brother’s side and ripped off his cape, tying it quickly around Sarawat’s bleeding hands to staunch the blood flow, if only slightly. Phukong looked up to how broken and torn apart his brother looked. It was completely heartbreaking.

“I am so sorry for what you have had to endure.” Phukong murmured, cradling his brother’s hands in his own. “There are things that have been set into motion today that will determine the future of our Kingdom… I know that is the last thing you want to hear right now but… you have to find a way to put your head on straight.”

Sarawat’s mouth gaped open in surprise. “Kong, what are you talking about? Where have you been all day? Were you not with Lord Mil?”

“I can’t tell you everything quite yet.” Phukong chewed at his lip nervously. “But just know that there are those within the Castle walls that want to hurt you… you have to be careful about who you trust.”

“I know. Tine has been captured…” The words fell painfully from Sarawat’s lips.

A look of confusion flashed across Phukong’s eyes. “No, Wat. You need to trust Tine. He is not a Traitor. He is trying to do what is best for the Kingdom…. or rather, do what is best for the People of this Kingdom which is my goal too.”

Sarawat’s brow furrowed, his mind reeling. “Brother, are you feeling well? I don’t think you remember what happened this morning… Tine was thrown into the dungeon for being a Traitor of the Kingdom…”

“And who exactly made that accusation, Wat?” Phukong challenged, squeezing his brother’s hand slightly as if it to motivate him to use his head.

“The Head Knight…” Sarawat answered, slowly registering what Phukong was implying. “But why would the Head Knight falsely accuse Tine of being treasonous? How would that benefit him in any way?”

“Think about the prisoner that escaped this morning. Think about the way Mil reacted when he saw the make of the sword that you were using in the battle this morning…”  Phukong prompted gently, hoping his brother would be able to figure it out. “Did it not look familiar to you, Wat?”

Sarawat wracked his mind to try to remember any similarities between his and Mil’s swords. But then it dawned on him that he had not used his own sword that morning. He had used Tine’s…

“Mil and Tine’s swords…” Sarawat could not believe he had not noticed it before. “They are practically twins. They were forged by the same Blacksmith… by…. by… Tine’s father…. Tine’s Father is the prisoner that was accused of Treason by the Head Knight and escaped?”

Sarawat suddenly felt out of breath. Phukong noticed this and guided his older brother to a bench within the Garden. Sarawat held the bloodied material in his hands and hung his head, unsure of how to process the information that he had just discovered.

“But this does nothing but prove that Tine was here for treasonous reasons from the beginning… He used me… to try to get to the Head Knight?” Sarawat felt as if he no longer could believe anything that he had experienced throughout the last months.

Had Tine ever actually wanted to be with him? Or was it all a ruse to remain by his side so that he could gather information about the Head Knight? How had Sarawat been so thick as to be so manipulated by a stranger?

“You don’t know of Tine’s true intentions until you speak with him.” Phukong explained, putting a hand across his brother’s back in solidarity. “Just like I think Mil had his reasons from keeping this all from you too…”

Sarawat’s back straightened at the mention of Mil. “Don’t you dare defend him. Just because you have your own feelings for…”

“My feelings are irrelevant.” Phukong interjected firmly, his eyes narrowing at Sarawat’s accusation. “I am not excusing Mil’s actions or saying that they are all right in any way. I am simply stating a fact that you might want to open your mind up to other’s perspectives… I don’t think Mil or Tine intended to hurt you with their actions, in fact, I suspect both of them wanted to protect you, in their own way.”

Sarawat stared up at the Moon and wished it could give him the answers he needed. This conversation with his brother had only complicated things further. He was been torn in even more directions than before and he did not have any instinct on which path was the right to take.

“Kong… how did you know all of this?” Sarawat questioned his brother. “Where have you really been all day?”

“I am sorry, brother.” Phukong rose slowly to his feet. “I cannot share that information quite yet but just know that you have allies on your side but there are also many enemies lurking within the shadows of the Castle. I will explain when it is safe to do so.”

Before Sarawat could protest any further, his Brother disappeared into the Castle, leaving him along under the moonlight with bloodied hands and a confused heart.

+++++++++++++++++

“You did well, my son.”

Mil could hear his Father’s voice floating somewhere in the distance. 
 “Tine is now in custody and the next phase of the plan is being set into motion.”

Mil wished he could navigate himself to consciousness but there was something keeping him from surfacing, so instead he simply floated in the fog and listened to his Father.

“The act will take place on the Final Night of the Revelries. It truly is a disappointment that you will not be present to be Knighted but that will come later… And anyway, you won’t need to be a simple Knight anymore… not when you become the Prince of the Kingdom after I’m through…”

Mil had never heard this step of the plan before and it confused him deeply. He had been ordered by the King to protect Prince Sarawat and his Father had shared with him Tine’s true identity but this….

What was the Head Knight going to do next and why did it terrify Mil so much?

+++++++++++++++

The knock sounded on Sarawat’s sleeping quarters and he shot up in his bed. It was likely the middle of the night. He immediately reached for the sword that was by his bedside and quickly retracted his reach when he realized it was Tine’s.

Sarawat slowly got up from his bed and walked toward the door, his brother’s words from earlier about being wary about who he trusted ringing in his ears. He slowly opened the door and saw a message on the ground. The messenger was nowhere to be seen.

The Prince knelt down and snatched it up before rushing back into the safety of his own room and latching the door. He breathed heavily before opening up the parchment. The writing was scrawled in crimson ink:

The Hooded Traitor will be further harmed if you do not find him tonight. Follow the blood and you will find him…

Sarawat touched the parchment with his fingertip and found that the ink was still wet which meant that it had not been written very long ago. He hastily grabbed Tine’s sword and burst into the hallway, snatching a torch from the wall to light his way.

Although it was hard to make out at first, the Prince spotted a few drips of red on the stones of the hallway. He held his sword out to make sure that if anyone was going to launch an attack, he was ready to defend himself. He slowly made his way through the halls of the castle. It was bizarre how quickly the atmosphere of the castle could change mere hours after the Ball had ended.

The Trail of blood ended at the top of the stairs of the Dungeon. Sarawat had only been down those stairs once before when his Father had wanted to prove a point to him about respecting authority. He’d spent the evening in any empty cell shivering until his mother retrieved him the next morning. Needless to say the Queen was not happy with the King for quite some time after that.

Sarawat descended the stairs cautiously, wondering if he was walking into a trap but he was too motivated to protect Tine to question his actions. Adrenaline pumped through his veins as he walked down the hallway of empty cells until he spotted one with a crumpled shadow in the back corner. Sarawat lifted the torch toward the cell bars and his breath hitched when he saw Tine’s form so broken and battered.

“Tine…”

His former Squire stirred and opened his eyes. When he registered Sarawat’s presence, Tine immediately rushed forward and curled his hands around the bars. “Wat, you have to go…”

Sarawat saw the fear in Tine’s eyes and the morning’s events flashed through his memory again as well as his conversation with Phukong. He was so torn about what to feel and what to believe but, ultimately, with Tine mere inches from him, Sarawat knew he still loved his Squire more than he had loved anyone or anything else before.

Tine wasn’t Sarawat’s Prey, he was part of his Pack.

“I’m so sorry.” Tine blurted out when he saw that the Prince wasn’t moving. “I’m sorry I lied about who I am… I never meant to hurt you…”

“I know that now.” Sarawat breathed out slowly, realizing that his words were true and realizing that for some ridiculous reason he still trusted Tine. “Your Father… he was the prisoner who escaped…”

“Falsely accused prisoner.” Tine countered, somehow still managing to have some fight in him after all he’d been through. “My Father has never done anything treasonous. All he wants is for this Kingdom to be a safe and equal place for ALL people. Unfortunately, your Father and the Head Knight don’t seem to agree…”

“My Father can be convinced…” Sarawat muttered, his head reeling at Tine’s sudden candour and then the hurt hit again. “… Why did you lie to me, Tine? I could have helped you if you’d just trusted me.”

“I didn’t want you to get hurt.” Tine admitted. “I mean, look where I am now… you’re the future King, Wat. You can’t get mixed up with someone like me…”

“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do.” Sarawat practically growled, suddenly loathing that there were cell bars to separate them.

Tine’s eyes widened and he stepped back suddenly, startled by the Prince’s change in demeanour. An unnameable intensity hung in the air between them as Tine studied the reflection of the torch flickering in the Prince’s eyes.

“Maybe I am an idiot for still trusting you, Tine… maybe I am weak for loving you… but that’s just it…” The air was swept from Tine’s lungs as he listened to Sarawat’s confession. “You give me strength. From the moment I met you, I felt more like ‘me’ than I ever have before. It felt like any part of me that was ever a mystery, you helped me to shed light on it. You helped me find myself.”

Tine felt the tears spring to his eyes as he neared the cell bars once again. Sarawat reached through with one hand and cradled Tine’s head with it gently, wishing he could provide Tine all the comfort in the world.

“I love you, Tine. To be the best Knight I can be, to be the best King I can be… I need you by my side.”

They both slowly shrunk down so they were sitting across from one another, just sitting in the simplicity of each other’s presence. They couldn’t take on the weight of reality at that moment but at least they could be near one another.

Tine gathered his thoughts and opened his mouth to finally respond to Sarawat’s confession with his own.

But, before he could, Sir Boss’s boot connected with Sarawat’s head. Tine watched in horror as the Prince’s head slammed down onto the stone floor.

Boss winced at the Prince, “I’m sorry, Wat. Father’s orders…”

#sarawatine #sarawat x tine #the nuisance and the handsome prince #2gether #still 2gether #my writing #cass writes

[secret-engima]

I am horribly sick and just want to stab everyone that tries to make me use my incredibly sick throat. May I get a ramble on fangs and feathers? Or even Prompto-Cloud thingy bit thing. (Uuughgi. Sickness makes my memory WORSE. I can't remember its name and honestly F&F was a hit or a miss but it LOOKS RIGHT SO.)

I’m so sorry to hear that!! Ummm let’s go with the Prompto-Cloud thing (Clouds and Moonlit Skies verse btw). Actually *grins* let’s go with a nutty xover.

-Zack and Cloud are ten years old in this. They trip into another dimension and at first don’t realize it. They were busy exploring an old part of the Citadel, Seph is with them, having abandoned his paperwork on Zack’s puppy eyes and Cloud’s teasing. They have fun for a while, poking around dusty old rooms and discovering a new, spacious training ground to trash later.

-Then they get hungry and troop their way for the kitchens to grab a snack.

-They enter the populated part of the Citadel and come face to face with a Crownsguard.

-The Crownsguard isn’t human.

-Well, the upper half of him is, but his lower half is some kind of fluffy tabby house cat, like a centaur, but a cat.

-Both sides stare at each other in astonishment for several very long seconds before the guard shouts in shock and rears back, tail puffing out to stupidly huge proportions as he reaches for his com to ... alert someone.

-Seph acts on pure instinct, lunging for the guard and tackling him to the ground. He knocks the guard out, but not before getting a nasty claw-made gash on one arm and the guard screaming into his link something about “Drautos is here!” Which really shouldn’t be cause for alarm because he works here- except he doesn’t, because he’s half sitting on an unconscious, man-sized half HOUSE CAT person.

-A frantic game of keep-away-what-is-going-on starts up with Noctis, Prompto, and Titus all ducking into rooms and through camera blindspots to avoid the Crownsguard who are ALL centaur cat people (Zack: Cataurs? Cloud: Not the time Zack) eventually though, they get caught, because of course they do, the Citadel is different and the cameras are too many. They get cornered in a very large, grand hallway with lots of very potentially breakable art, surrounded by wild-eyed and tense Crownsguard who range from cat people to deer people to ... is that a ferret over there? Cloud is pretty sure that’s a ferret person.

-Also Cor Leonis is there, tail swishing madly as he clutches at his sword and eyes them, fur bristling slowly as their hunters all seem to finally realize that the “Drautos and unknown intruders” they’ve been chasing are NOT half animal of some kind.

-Zack is the one to break the silence by stage whispering to Cloud, “I thought he’d be a lion. You know, with the name and all.” Seph, uncaring of leaving himself open to attack, takes a moment to facepalm with a heavy sigh while someone in the Crownsguard gives a nervous, semi-hysterical laugh.

-Tension now thoroughly ruined, the three allow themselves to be herded by a stiff-legged, bristling Cor to the Throne Room where the Regis and Clarus of this dimension are. Zack smothers (badly) a giddy laugh at seeing his dad with lion hindquarters (so cliche! Lion King!) and ooing softly over Clarus’s tiger stripes.

-Seph notices something subtly relax in the king despite his bristling tail and the way everyone keeps staring at them like they’re cryptids. That is CONVENIENTLY when Gentiana shows up (as an actual centaur???) and explains that the three of them accidentally slipped through the boundaries between worlds from a nearby world, and that it should wear off within three days time.

-She disappears and the awkward conversations start. It quickly becomes apparent that the ... Taurs are a little bit in awe at the sight of their two-legged status (apparently, as the king explains, all taurs used to be humans but were turned into taurs at the FALL OF SOLHEIM. Cloud wonders if this was how Aerith felt when people gushed over her being an Ancient). It also becomes evident that none of them trust Seph. At all. They keep their eyes on him far more than Zack and Cloud (though Regis does stare at Zack a bit, no doubt it’s weird looking at his son with human legs). Cor looks two steps away from murder at all times while glaring at Seph even as Clarus and Regis argue over where to house them for the three days that will be secure and how to keep this from getting all over the media.

-Finally Cloud snaps at Cor that if he has a problem, come out and say it. Everyone stares at him in astonishment for reasons he can’t fathom (yet) and finally Clarus explains that the Titus Drautos in their universe was a traitor who tried to assassinate Regis and conquer Insomnia. Seph blinks very slowly at that because wat. Why would he work for the people who experimented on him AGAIN. Then he realizes that without his past life memories he probably would have been brainwashed into it yeah. “I can see that,” Seph muses aloud while Zack sputters and Cloud spaces out dangerously at the distance. At the sudden tensing he waves a hand and drawls, “Niflheim and I do not get along.” He pauses, then adds just in case it come up somehow, “I cannot speak for your Titus, but I was forcibly captured out of the Crownsguard, experimented upon, and implanted with an armor unit codenamed Glauca. It did nothing to endear them to me.”

-Zack flings his arms around Seph’s and yells loudly before anyone else can say a word, “He’s mine! You gotta problem with them then fight me!” Zack pauses then adds, “Actually, you gotta problem with him then I’ll sic Prom on you.”

-“I don’t think that’s a very intimidating threat unless you know our Prompto,” Seph points out dryly but Zack loudly shushes him.

-They end up in a guest suite meant for visiting royals, with a few Crownsguard outside to make sure they don’t leave and aren’t disturbed. Of course, because their luck is their luck, the rumors have spread far enough that Regis, Cor, and Clarus are unable to run damage control before the Chocobros of this world hear about it.

-A day into their stay, Regis reluctantly takes the children to visit with Clarus, Cor, and Aulea all as backup. They enter to find all the furniture pushed to the far sides of the room, Titus on one end of the room, all three having what appears to be a mini war complete with battle lines. All three pause in their war, Noctis-Zack calmly dangling from Titus’s fist by his ankle while Prompto-Cloud lies sprawled near the door, feet up by his own head, arms splayed like he’s just been kicked in mid-air and didn’t have time to land right.

-“Are we interrupting something?” Cor asks stiffly. Noctis-Zack just laughs and Cloud attracts more than a few stares as he flips himself upright in a smooth movement utterly impossible for a Taur. Seph casually drops Zack without warning and the boy easily twists to land on his feet. Regis ... reluctantly asks if they would mind meeting their child counterparts plus a few friends, which Zack is all for and the other two fold to his whim. So Regis reluctantly lets the children enter. Noctis thunders up to Zack with bright eyes and gapes at his two-legged status while Cloud finds himself suddenly face to face with 10,000 Rays of Sunshine wearing his face and wagging a tail like a mad thing. Gladio trots up to Noctis while Ignis just kinda watches from next to the adults as the Nocti exchange greetings and then Zack hastily goes to extract Cloud from Prompto, because Cloud looks two inches away from a panic attack and stabbing is not recommended right now (Cor sees the sheer difference between his son and this human version and something in him growls. Why is the human Prompto so quiet, so alert and wary, watching everything, even himself, like it might attack?)

-Prompto deflates a bit at his counterpart’s silence and wariness, not understanding why and Seph breaks the tension by humming, “You know, Zack,” (who is Zack? The Taur adults wonder until human Noctis perks up), “I find myself a bit surprised. I would have been certain that your counterpart wouldn’t be a lion.”

-“Why’s that?” Noctis asks with a head tilt.

-Seph smirks, cool and smug and positively catlike, “Because he’s nothing but a big Puppy.”

-“Oi!” Zack yells but he’s laughing, “I make a great lion!”

-Cloud’s lips twitch against his will and he adds, “Well, this is another dimension. Some differences in temperament are to be expected.”

-Zack puts his hands over his heart with a gasp, blue eyes big and watery, “Cloud- Cloudy- My Cloudy Prompto Cloudy Spiky Buddy! How could you betray me like this??”

-Cloud just raises an eyebrow very slowly.

-Their banter is interrupted by a laugh from Prompto, “You guys are weird,” he says with a tail wag.

-Zack grins back and despite having known his son as a lion cub all his life, Regis can almost see the matching wagging tail on the boy, “You don’t know the half of it! Wanna play something?”

-The kids end up playing a strange mix of tag and the floor is lava (which Ignis RULES at because Ibex and Cloud rules over right behind him because Stubborn Mountain Boi) while Seph watches with fond eyes and finds himself slowly dragged into a conversation with Aulea.

-Some questions are exchanged and answers given, Cor snarls under his breath at the news of Prompto being given up to a neglectful home until finally being adopted by Cor where he belonged, and Regis and Aulea clutch hands when Seph slowly admits that Zack (they’re going by Zack, Cloud, and Seph to differentiate counterparts, claiming it’s an “in joke” and “nicknames”) hasn’t noticed her because he doesn’t recognize her. Queen Aulea died when Zack was a year old.

-But it’s not all sad things with the adults, Seph tells them little anecdotes of his world, and Regis notes how much more ... mellow this Titus is. Cunning yes, and somewhat cold, but not pushy and angry. Much more patient, and there is clear devotion in his eyes as this Titus watches his Noctis and Prompto play.

-Cor ends up sparring with this Titus, because Seph isn’t going to turn down the chance to Throw Hands with a cheetah man anymore than Cor will a human.

-It’s a tie that ends with both of them wheezing and tired on the floor.

-Cloud ends up falling asleep at one point and Prompto flops down next to him and soon they are both out and cuddling. All the Pictures are taken.

-Regis and Aulea are bemused and horrified by just how much of an Energizer Bunny Zack is. Like- HOW. Where do you store it all child and they thought Prompto was bad in his puppy stage.

-The three days end and the three disappear as swiftly as they came, and Zack is gleeful to have all the photo evidence Seph thoughtfully took to prove that YES they went to a world with Taur people and LOOK DAD YOU MAKE AN AWESOME LION. SO DOES MOM. SO DO I. AND HAH IGGY IS A GOAT (Ibex, Cloud corrects with a sigh and is ignored by Zack).

Tagging @robininthelabyrinth because I’m pretty sure Nocturne is your fic? Hope you don’t mind this little silly xover. I just loved the story too much to resist.

#SE asks #oliverslewty asks #Secret Engima Rambles #Clouds and Moonlit Skies verse #nocturne #long post

[aij-writes]

“Can we dance?” Gladio spoke quietly.

Ignis looked up.  He’d just finished giving some talking points to a reporter for the Lucian Times.  He eyed the large man, admiring how handsome he looked in his ceremonial robes.  Gladio was dark skinned with a ruddy tone.  Everyone was always first taken in by his shear mass.  Taller, larger, and louder than the rest of court, Gladiolus looked larger-than-life.  He stood taller than Ignis, and he wasn’t a short man himself.  His physique was a point of pride of his, not because he was shallow, but because of how hard he worked to put it forth.  Gladio wanted to be strong, not to show off, but to always know he could protect his king.  He took his duties as Shield-in-Waiting seriously, but that wasn’t all he was.

Ignis found him to be one of the best friends another man could have.  It had been a rocky start, but two similar-aged boys in similar roles were going to butt heads at first.  Eventually, though, they’d found a comfortable way to revolve around Noctis.  Ignis tended to be more doting, but Gladiolus was no less caring for their friend and prince.  He was gruffer and pushier, but it was because he believed Noctis needed someone to not always give him his own way.  Noctis often expressed how much he hated being bowed to and gave his way no matter how many times he pushed Ignis into things he wouldn’t otherwise see as his duty.  Gladio offered that similar feel, being a noble’s son, that they weren’t quite equals, but he didn’t take his crap, either.

No, Ignis knew Gladio was thoughtful, kind, and passionate.  He loved to read, something Ignis only saw as a means to an end, and ate up books as quickly as protein shakes.  Of course, he had his favorites and he’d worn the spine until the whole book cracked on his volume two of Silence of Knowledge.  Ignis had caught him reading the book loose-leaf and had purchased a new set, leather bound this time.  He intended to get it to him when things settled down from the treaty events.

It wasn’t merely his distaste for disorder, but that Ignis wasn’t always sure what he could do for Gladio.  They were friends, but despite being a Crownsguard officer himself, Ignis often felt othered by the friends Gladio had in the Citadal.  He was considered an outsider.  Usually pouring over reports, driving Noctis to his various responsibilities, and advising on various affairs, Ignis found it difficult to relate to others.  He did not have the same issue with Gladio.  He knew without words what the other was thinking, and if he wasn’t sure, Gladio simply told him.  The only games were the ones they played on others.

“I don’t think it’s appropriate,” Ignis spoke, offering a faint smile.  “All the girls will see me with the best-looking guy here and I’ll be tarred and feathered.”

Gladiolus ignored the call for proper behavior, wrapping his arm around Ignis’s shoulder.  “I’ll use my impressive wingspan to shield ya, Iggy.”  Though it was buried under the robes, Gladio had had his tattoo finished recently.  It was a massive bird across this shoulders, down his arms and back, the head curving around to his collarbone and pectoral.  Instead of a coat of arms, the Amicitias had Enkidu, the companion of the Founder King’s Shield.  His father, Clarus, had the same tattoo.  Even though the duty did not fall on her shoulders, Gladio’s younger sister Iris had begun whining when she’d turned thirteen to start the ink work.

“I do think there’s someone rather more important to be Shielding, Gladiolus.”  Still, Ignis gazed up at him, fondness in his eyes even if he kept his expression serious and set.  Gladio’s eyes were dazzling, a sultry narrow that had an extra crinkle when he looked at Ignis.  The scar that ran from his forehead and brow and into his cheek only drew attention to the rest of his rugged good looks.

“My family’s got it,” Gladiolus insisted.  He leaned in, subtly pointing them out.  “Iris is thrilled, isn’t she?”

Ignis smiled now.  Iris, Gladiolus’s fifteen year old sister, was showing Noctis how to swing and slid while snapping her fingers.  Noctis stumbled along, not simply humoring her, but letting go of some of his shyness to spend time with her.

“Do you think he even realizes?” Ignis asked, shaking his head.  “The Amicitias and Lucis Caelums, family at last?”

“Do you think his Hand even realizes how his Shield looks at him?” Gladio asked, amber eyes glittering.

Ignis chanced a glance at him.  He shifted, forcing Gladio’s arm to drop.  He pushed his glasses up.  “We are far too busy and too important to the future of the kingdom to mire ourselves with fanciful and ill-fated--”

“Oh cut the crap,” Gladio groaned.  “Just because you have it memorized, doesn’t mean you have to spout the rules of behavior to me every chance you get.  All I was trying to say is you look good.  You should wear more color.”

“And you should wear more gold,” Ignis murmured.  “Looks good against your skin.”

“I rather enjoyed the look of silver against it,” Gladio said, voice rumbling into his ear.  His lips brushed ever-so against the soft fringe of Ignis’s Dragoon grey-brown hair.  “Relax, Iggy, no one is paying us any mind,” he said, leaning back on his heels.  “Even so, I know how you feel of my attention.”

Ignis’s sharp eyes were roving across the party, checking everyone and everything before moving slightly.  Though it looked like he was turning his back to Gladio in a cold shoulder, he brushed his thumb against Gladio’s pinky.  Ignis always wore gloves, but this pair were thumbless.  The skin on skin was so slight yet it shot warmth through Gladio.

“I don’t think you do know,” Ignis uttered.  “Elsewise, you wouldn’t put that kind of pressure on me.”

Gladio grinned.  He loved Ignis’s accent.  He loved his coy playfulness.  He loved how put together he always looked but he loved most how he could see the passion he was brimming with.  He could kiss him right there.

Their thing, as they had no other word for it, had started out of mutual frustration and hormones when they were younger.  Even Gladio had a hard time actually finding someone compatible and with the same hectic schedule as him to understand that dating was a luxury even he couldn’t afford.  Ignis was in the same boat.  It’d started as two teens fumbling on the mats stealing gropes and touches between training.  It’d shifted to one or two moments mired in guilt and the thrill of potential discovery.  But as they were growing up and realizing they could be friends with and around their charge, Ignis simply had given Gladio a key to his apartment and the expectant look it wasn’t simply for hook ups.

No, there were more times than not they’d simply exist near each other.  Comfortable.  Ignis would come home late from whatever errand for Noct had run late and find Gladio sprawled out on the couch, deep into a book and he’d slid to into his arms and they’d simply lay there, quiet, together.

Gladio knew he loved Ignis.  He’d stopped looking at anyone else a long time ago.  He considered himself open to all kinds of relationships, but eventually realized he already found the one he wanted.  Quiet, private, passionate.  Just like his Ignis.

But these things weren’t meant to be.  Never mind the fact he couldn’t bring himself to simply ask Ignis how he felt in return.  He believed he knew.  That while he wasn’t the easiest at expressing emotion, Ignis still considered him his love, his life.  His duty short of Noctis.  Never and nothing before Noctis.  But Gladio felt the same way.  It was one of the things that kept it easy.  They never grew jealous or impatient.  They understood.

When they made love--and Gladio truly felt it was an act of love instead of to take the edge off like it might have once been--he often let his mind wonder to what-could-bes.  Confessing to Ignis fully.  Being confessed to in return.  Taking him to that quiet bistro Ignis had to visit at least once a month and waiting to the end of the meal to pop the question.  Pretending it would be okay--no, more than that, pretending his father would be happy.  Celebrate his new son-in-law.

In the end, though, Gladio wasn’t even sure Ignis was into guys.  It seemed absurd, but maybe it remained what it’d always been.  Two best friends that found a mutually beneficial relationship.  Safe, exclusive sex.  No risk of pregnancy or being discovered by tabloids.

Even if it was just an arrangement to Ignis, Gladio couldn’t begrudge him.  Even though they’d eventually marry council-approved wives and each have children to continue to serve the crown.  Even if it stopped right now, like so much of their lives seemed to be hinging on the treaty signing tomorrow.

Gladio closed his hand, weaving fingers with Ignis.  “No one would mind if we danced,” he said firmly.

Ignis turned to look at him, startled.  “Gladio, no, I can’t.”

“Of course you can,” he said, leading him with a sweeping step.  Gladio grinned, gently pulling him to the dance floor.  “I mean, who taught Noctis the quick step?”

Ignis swallowed.  “Gladiolus Amicitia, you will not make me do this.”

“Who’s making you?” Gladio grinned big and toothily.  He tilted his head, the stray hair from his top braid shaken loose and framing his eyes.  “You got your hands on me, Iggy.”

Looking at where his hand gripped at Gladio’s sleeve like it had betrayed him, Ignis walked a little more sure with him.  “Is Noctis alright?”

“Yeah, he’s right there,” he said, head motioning.  “I’ll personally vouch for Ulric, all right?”

Ignis glanced to where Noctis was playing on his phone, trying to be discrete and failing.  Nyx was still sweeping with his eyes, but he’d turned slightly towards him, only a few feet away.  Ignis looked up at Gladio, eyes widening.  “All right,” he finally agreed, licking his dry lips.

“All right,” Gladio said, pumping his fist.  He went to put his hand on Ignis’s shoulder, but was as suddenly jostled.

He took a step back, obviously surprised a man of his size could be pushed by the lithe, short blond that cut between them.

The moment was broken for Ignis.  He pushed his glasses up, watching the same man that’d cut between them in his haste.  He was in Imperial colors.  All white with notes of red and gold.  The Saint Johns Cross featured on so many of their banners and crests cut a red line down his back.

The blond young man turned back to them, walking backwards without changing his purposeful pace.  He had heavy lower eyelids and a slight gaunt to his features, like he was carved out.  His freckles underscored his youth, but the dull look in his red-rimmed blue-violet eyes had the look of a man that’d seen plenty and was immune to it all now.  His hair was wild, piled on his head in spikes.

He threw his arm out, almost as a bow of apology, but he raised his eyebrows in challenge before turning away again.

Ignis looked over as Noctis joined them.  They watched the blond’s haughty walk pause with snapping something as he walked passed Ravus Nox Flueret, the disposed crown prince of Tenebrae and Niflehiem stooge.  He ended up on the far side of the room, gazing out at the city below.  Unlike most of the Nifs, he didn’t keep a guard.

“Who was that?” Noctis asked, interested enough to actually rejoin his servants prematurely.

“I...I don’t know,” Ignis confessed.

More than anything, that surprised the other two.

#ffxv #fanfic #ffxv: night's remiss #gladnis #wordcount: 1986 #notes--put they gay in here asap couldn't resist #notes--also couldn't resist the blond

[alexicacvs-a-blog]

// I am curious. Why the infernal trash heap? What drew you to the character and how do you portray him since his actions are controversial?

@abysmalpyre

I’m glad you asked that. I was going to eventually write a massive meta post on it. So I’ll put this under a read more. Also I’m switching to Gray from Case Files cause the recommended artwork keeps switching to her, and it feels like it’s trying to goad me into making a blog for her. Fuckers. *Ahem* Anyway this will be a compare and contrast from another series known as Fate/Stay Night. It’s a very popular eroge visual novel that’s been around since 2004. It’s spawned many iterations of it’s routes: Fate (Studio Deen. Under Fate Stay Night) Unlimited Blade Works (Deen, Ufotable) and Heaven’s Feel (Presage Flower, Lost Butterfly, Spring Song also done by Ufotable. Also the saddest of the three routes. Fuck you Nasu.) And many spin off (Case Files of Lord El Melloi II, Fate/Apocorypha, Fate/EXTRA (Extra/CCC, Extra CCC Fox Tail, Extella, Extella Link), Fate/Hollow Ataraxia, Fate Tiger Coliseum, Fate Unlimited Codes, Emiya no Gohan Chi  (Today’s Menu for the Emiya Family), Prisma Kaleid Illya (the anime is horrible), and the popular mobile game Fate/Grand Order. I think the japanese version is #1 on the charts.

Anyway that being said I’m going to be Fate on main for a moment.

Anyway to start with I also rp as Kirei Kotomine from Fate over on @inaniscultus. Kirei Kotomine, is wat we all tend to call the Trash Priest. He’s what basically started this off. Kirei like Endeavor is a dad. And a shitty one at that. Kirei unlike Endeavor isn’t able to comprehend human emotion and feeds off of people’s misfortune of those around him. In other words he’s a walking schadenfreude. It gets to the point where his he makes his wife and daughter both miserable and he wants to end his life. He’s ultimately “stopped” when Claudia, his wife, kills herself. Though in reality he never loved her, he can never feel love and his only regret was not killing her himself. He gives his daughter up because hes not capable of raising her. Though they both work for the Church, he never once tried to get in contact with her.

Then you have Tokiomi Tohsaka. While Tokiomi seems like a good dad, he ultimately ends up giving his daughter up to an ancient mage who ends up subjecting her to horrors and abuses her. Now let me back up and explain that the mages in Fate are akin to those in the MLA and even like Endeavor where those with a strong line of magecraft are revereed. Marriage amongst families as old as the Tohsakas, Edelfelts, Matou/Makiria and Einzberns has to be between the ones with the strongest lines. And that way a child of strong magical lineage can be born for the sake of passing on techniques or in this case magic crests. Tokiomi can only give his crest to one sibiling and that’s Rin being the oldest. So that’s why Sakura is given up. That and if she were kept in the Tohsaka household chances are that she would have a sealing designation placed on her. What this means is that she’ll be frozen cyrogenically, and then be experimented on while alive. That’s not pretty. So Tokiomi did what he had to do. Feeling it was the right thing to do. Though there’s speculation  that if Tokiomi lived, Rin would be cold and calculating. Trash Priest ends up killing him.

Then you have Zouken Matou who was once known as Zolgen Makiri. Now Zouken didn’t start off bad. He was an idealistic man who wanted to create a peaceful utopia, the problem is that he let his ambition corrupt him and he became a vile man who only cared about seeking out Heaven’s Feel, the Third Magic. He wants to turn Sakura into a grail for his own ends, and is why Sakura is fucked up. He’s honestly the worst person in the fucking world, next to Shinji.

Finally you have Kiritsugu Emiya, who is a mage killer. He’s an assassin that kills mages. And while he’s done some horrible things like kill his father, kill his mother figure, but also cheated on his wife. Insulted Saber (Artoria.). However at the end of the Holy Grail War, he atones by saving Shirou and adopts him as his son to take care of, and tries to get his Illya back. He realizes where he went wrong and tries his best to change. Until he dies.

I see Endeavor a lot like Kiritsugu. Yes Endeavor said and did some fucked up shit. But when I read back through 190 and 191, he does show that he regrets what he’s done. And the true reason why he did what he did was so that his children could handle his quirk. Everytime he uses his quirk he overheats himself and he doesn’t want them to go through that.

Like Tokiomi he wants it so that he can pass off his technique to the next child. But like Kiritsugu he realizes where he fucked up and wants to truly make amends and he does try.

Not to mention that I live in a household with an abusive parent. The difference between Endeavor and my mom is that Endeavor is actually being sincere. When my mom apologizes she offer up but I did that so you could see x y z. That’s not a true apology. It’s not genuine and makes it seem insincere. 

TL;DR: I see Endeavor like Kiritsugu, and that Endeavor can show that he can change. He’s nowhere near the shittiness of Zouken. Never be Zouken.

#ooc #asks #answered #tw: suicide mention #tw: abuse mention #tw: zouken matou #abysmalpyre

[drownedstarlight]

I was tagged by @dusterthedopop @weirdnproudofit @themefo and @rederiswrites and may I just say that I’m honestly kind of baffled by the fact? In a nice way, of course (think Bryan Cranston saying ‘Me?’ in that one gif) . :)

20 Questions

Rules: answer 20 questions and then tag 20 people who you want to get to know better.

Nickname: I don’t think I had one since elementary school. Even then it was actually longer than my given name, and used to mock me, but I kind of liked it. Azrael. Later learned it was also an angel of death in Christian lore, so there you go.

Zodiac: Want the full deal? Aries/Taurus cusp, Libra ascendant, Pisces moon. I’m a mess of contradictions.

Height: 5′5″ (ish? 167 cm)

Last movie I saw: Uhhhhhh... This might sound silly, but I don’t really watch movies unless I’m unintentionally drawn in. And by that I mean stop in the middle of the living room for an hour because I got so engrossed in what was happening on screen I forgot what I was doing or even that there are surfaces available for me to sit down.

Last thing I googled: What the poseable doll for drawing was called. It’s a mannequin.

Favourite musician: That depends? I never settled on any one in particular, my taste in music is all over the place. Lately I can’t get enough of Florence + the Machine. Before her, I had a Chet Faker period that lasted for a few months. OK, it lasted a year. Don’t judge me.

Song stuck in my head:  There are a few actually. Fleurie - Soldier, Florence - ‘Wish that you were here’ and ‘Shake it out’

Other blogs: I’ve @noodlingdoodle - my sketchy blog, and @craftspirations - where I post inspiration and tutorials. There are a couple of others but those are currently empty.

Do I get asks: Not really... (I’m still fairly new to tumblr, so I’m still figuring out what exactly is the purpose of asks? If anyone wants to enlighten me, feel free.)

Following: More than I thought? People keep dropping by and staying. It’s nice.

Amount of sleep: A sore spot right there. I need 8 to function like a human being. Sadly, I haven’t been able to get to that magical number since I gave birth. Soooo, like 6 on a good day. 2 hr naps on bad days if the kids are ill or I’m an idiot and stay up all night reading. I’m known to be that idiot.

Lucky number: 13. Paired with Friday. Heh. I love Friday 13th. Not the movie, the date. A lot of good stuff happens every time.

What I’m wearing:  I’m lounging in my pinkest satin neglige, all delicate and pretty.  -_-  Really? The point of this question? (´･_･`) Anyway. Too many layers of clothes. I hate cold. But the top layer is an ancient, warmest hoodie I have, and a pair of sweatpants.

Dream job: Artist, I guess... I’d like to be able to sell the stuff I make and support myself with it.

Dream trip: At this moment, I literally want to go somewhere warm. Generally, uh, too many to count. I’d like to see the pyramids. Venice. Rome. Pompei. India (though everyone who’s ever been there is telling me not to go?) Taj Majal. Angkor Wat. Chichen Itza, Tikal, Mayan ruins in general. (Oh. I just realized I’d mostly like to go look at ruins.  Huh. Blame the documentaries.)

Play any instruments: Nope, unfortunately. Always wanted to learn to play the piano. And the guitar.

Languages: Croatian, English, Italian, French. I also started learning Turkish, but with 2 toddlers at home it didn’t go so well, so

Favourite songs: It changes. But for a while now it’s been Soul Asylum - Runaway train, Muse - Map of the Problematique and Pretender by Foo Fighters

Random fact: Uh. Something interesting then? I have no clue if this is interesting but here goes - I collect books, fiction and instructional (mostly in electronic form though). I currently have more than I’ll ever be able to read, and it’s possible if they were all printed, I’d have a small library.

There you go, I hope this was informative. I didn’t seem like there was so much to write while I was reading other peoples?  ＼(◎o◎)／

Tagging: I have no idea who already did these so feel free to ignore me. Also feel free to consider yourself tagged if you want to share, I love finding out these little tidbits about mutuals.  :)

@onionjuggler @dirthara-mama @pocketpeanuts @elveny @rhunae @wicked-eyes-and-wicked-hearts @gingerbreton @meliciousintent @bearly-tolerable @cl0udb3rry @rosenrotxiii @knallbart

#personal #tag thingy

[post-itpenny]

Dear Diary about whoever you want ^^

Finally got something to write for this. 

Tagging @grotesquegabby since a few of your clowns are mentioned.

Jelly was at Maggie’s tent with the intention of meeting fora quiet picnic in the park. Some much needed girl’s time since they both seemedjust so busy anymore.

Except Maggie wasn’t home.

She had texted to say she was on her way from Billy’s officeand for Jelly to just let herself in. Jelly sat down on the couch, barleyregistering how it seemed to give way as she read over the text message. Whatdid she actually do at Billy’s work? Jelly knew her friend could be clever but Maggienever seemed like the business type.

Jelly sighed and got up to poke around the small home. Itwas just as she found the box with all the pearls Jelly had given her friendthat she stumbled upon a book. It was a faded red lining and clearly old yet itdidn’t seem that all the pages had been used. Jelly say back down on the couchand flipped open the book to a random page:

The fair has moved onwithout me, I just see a need to stay a while. Plus, I found a nice place toset up home, a park on the edge of a large wood. It’s nice.

The candy kid cameback to visit again for his fortune. I decided not to tell him about the womanwith pink hearts I kept seeing in his timeline. Just told him I hope he likedrabbits.

Jelly slammed the book shut with a gasp, this was Maggie’sdiary. Her best friend’s diary. Jelly looked down at the little book in herhands for a moment. Then opened it back up again.

 Candy Kid’s name isPepper. He has a brother and sister named Cosmos and Jelly. She seems nice, Ilike to call her Jells-bells.

 Jelly smiled at the nickname and kept flipping through,reading random pages as she went.

 I keep seeing visionsof this thing hunting through the city, people willingly dying for it. It’s aclown with a lot of blue, I don’t think its safe to be near but it seemsimportant for some reason.

 Jells-Bells has acrush on the librarian. Should I tell her he’s a clown? Nah, more fun to watchthem figure it out.

 Jelly frowned, realizing that Maggie knew the whole time shean Lennie were being awkward and shy around each other because they were afraidto show they weren’t human….. wow, thanks Maggie.

Jelly kept flipping through the diary, reading the stages ofMaggie developing a crush on Billy. Her first meeting with Mama Carol, laughing at the single entry “Billy is a wonderful dancer”, then when Vespersfirst came to town. Maggie predicting he and Cosmos would become a thing but apparentlyeven she did not see the Vegas Incident coming.

And then the Rhyder entries. Jelly grimaced at thedescription of him first meeting Jelly’s friend but found one entryparticularly interesting:

Rhyder can go step ona lego brick, Rhyder can go step on a lego brick, RHYDER CAN GO STEP ON AFUCKING LEGO BRICK IN A DESSERT OF LEGO BRICKS.

He’s and asshole and Idon’t like him.

I tried to warn him towatch it but he just laughed. He knows about Marguerite……. Don’t tease her likethat. We made a choice together. We I am nothing like them.

I’m going to laugh myass off when he gets what’s coming, I hope Jelly rips his spine out, she doesit in 2/3’s of the possible timelines.

Jelly frowned, not just because she really should haveripped out the slime ball’s spine but because this was one of the few entry’sMaggie referred to herself as two people. Jelly knew about it but at the sametime it was just… odd. And she wondered which made which part of Maggie.

 Ula is going to be sosad when Atlas leaves but it’s for her own good to grown through it. I hope shepulls through ok.

 Jelly grimaced with this entry, she knew her little oysterwas upset with her friend leaving, she would have to keep a closer eye on Ulathen.

 I’ve started keepingfurniture shoved out of the way since Faline likes to sleep stretched out onthe floor. Zilla sleeps on the couch but she’s too big for it and I think itmight break if she keeps flopping down on it. I want to talk with Magpie butthey said no. I used to hate how much Jelly complained about family drama. Shewas so damn lucky to have a family. But now I got one and I don’t know wat todo.

 Jelly jumped up from the couch and brushed off her clothes,worried the corpse smell would stick. She read the entry again and felt a ballof anger in her stomach. She hadn’t forgiven Maggie for everything with thesisters, learning her friend had hid her jealousy added fuel. Jelly tsked andturned the page. I was coved in tear stains:

 I want someone,please.

 The entry was dated the same day Cosmos called saying Vesperscame home upset after an argument with Maggie. Other entries that followedseemed the same. The sisters bullying Maggie to give them a place to live whilethreatening to go after anyone if she talked. The entries became less frequentand shorter as if afraid to write and Jelly felt the anger cool to pity, just alittle. There was a gap of several weeks before the next entry.

 I haven’t written in awhile because I’ve been living with Billy and Ama. I would have done anythingfor this a few months ago but I’m just so tired. I just want to take thingsback and I can’t and I’m so sorry.

 Jelly sighed and turned the pages until she was past anyentries about the sisters. Not wanting her anger to ruin her day. Soon theentries became normal again, talking about Davey being born and Jack’s suddenappearance.

Billy keeps findingways to keep me at his home one more day:

But what about this?

But it’s raining.

But Ama wants you toplay with her.

But what about that?

But its too late,might as well stay the night… Again.

How does he do that?!

Do I mind?

But I’m sitting herein my own home and its so damn empty, when did it feel empty?

 Jelly snickered and filled this bit of information awayalong with several short romantic poems Maggie had written.

 Bridgette won’t leaveme the hell alone. Creepy old lady needs to just mind her own business.

 Jelly frowned, who was Bridgette?

“Hey! I’m sorry I took so long I-“Maggie explained as shewalked through the front down and caught Jelly red-handed with the diary.Maggie’s face blushing in fear.

Jelly grinned, “So I like this one poem. Tell me, who is ityou’re talking about with eyes like the shining stars and moon?”

Maggie shrieked and chased after Jelly around the smallhome. Worth it.

[sabraeal]

The Great Chain, Chapter 3

The Hierarchy of Beings | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

ANS Week, Day 2: Metal Focus | Insecurity | Strength | Independence

In Wati, she had been a treasure -- the last of His Most High’s full siblings, a sacred vessel of the god’s breath, the only woman of his line left to house the sacred feminine within her. Her feet had not been allowed to touch the earth, her air of her lungs not wasted on those not worthy of it, her grace hidden behind veils and screens so as to not blind those with her glory.

Strange, how easily that was forgotten, when her brother sold her to the heathens. Now she is given free reign of the castle, so long as she stays in sight of her guard. She may show herself anywhere, to anyone of her choosing. She may even raise her voice and speak as she may.

Stranger still is how in so few days, she has come to -- to --

Enjoy it.

Still, she tries to live in her modest way, sitting behind her screen when there are maids or visitors in her chambers, rarely speaking unless it is necessary. Even now she looks to her left first, expecting to see a daughter of Visoth at her shoulder, waiting to be her voice. She wonders if there will ever be a day she does not, where she has grown so accustomed to blasphemy that she forgets herself.

She should not be so eager to find out.

It is one of the Clarinese maids that comes to her when she is playing her koto, letting the room air through the insufficient doors of the balcony. She has no daughters of Rith to serve her, had not been allow to take any -- not that they would have come to the heathen lands, save by force -- and the sons at the door know better than to enter the sanctum of the sacred feminine, even if they have been raised with blasphemy.

So it is the Clarinese that violate it, that send a girl to scratch at the paper and say, “The pharmacy is ready for you, Your Highness.”

Her mouth pulls thin at the flimsy honorific; here they think her a -- a princess, a lesser next to their king, next to their queen. But her brother is an Emperor, a man who holds the god’s breath in his lungs and his will in his hands. She is not an ornament, not a highness, not even a majesty.

She breathes out, letting the anger sink deep, settle beneath skin and sinew. It lives in the marrow of her bones, as it should. A way to heat the blood, a way to strengthen sons.

She lays her koto aside, and stands.

The palace in Wati sat on the city’s highest peak, the floors of the court and harem private but open to the god. Seven airy spires had stretched higher, cast in gold; a fitting tribute to His glory.

But beneath, it was a labyrinth, a warren of alchemists that stretched for what seemed like miles beneath the earth, spiraling ever deeper. It was safest for them there; seeking the order of Atar Wat’s universe was not a business for the faint of heart, and more than a few wings were always closed for repair, following an apprentice’s -- or even, sometimes, a master’s -- misunderstanding. It was not infrequent, her brother assured her once, that these misunderstandings were fatal.

So to see that the King of Clarines allows his own above ground, allows them to mix with his own court --

It’s madness. She’d always heard it ran strong in this country’s line.

And still, her brother had sent her.

They take her to a room in this warren -- this wing, as they tell her, though the building is separate from that of the palace, though on the same land -- its windows wide and open to the garden outside, though set high enough to afford some measure of privacy. A screen sits half-unfolded between her and the tables of instruments -- wise, she thinks, that they do not allow laymen to see their alchemy.

Though, she must admit, she is curious. Samay had told her such things of Clarinese alchemy --

Sorry to keep you waiting.

She startles, hands clutching the edge of the strange bed they’ve sat her on, too high to be reached saved with a stool.

Oh! A young woman edges around the bed, eyes wide with worry. I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m Shirayuki.

She nods, slow, hands clutching tighter with anger. Does this girl think she doesn’t know who she is? Did she think she came here blind, to not know of the prince’s red-haired concubine, the one secreted away among the alchemists so as to not arouse suspicion.

Perhaps there were warrens still, in this place. Perhaps one snaking tunnel led straight to --

She bites her cheek. She must be calm, must make this girl think she is no threat.

For now.

You are... The girl -- Shirayuki -- flips through her papers. There is no way to judge Clarinese beauty, but this girl does not seem...unappealing. Pale skin, though blemished; eyes a more vibrant shade than jade; hair as bright and red as chilies. It would be easy for a man to think such a concubine could bring him prestige, could bring him --

“Munkhtsetseg.”

Her knuckles blanch where they grip the bed. How is it that this girl dares -- that she thinks herself worthy --

You’ll need to take off your robe, the concubine continues, so simply, as if she were not -- not speaking blasphemy with each breath. And your veil as well.

She does not realize her hands have moved, not until she feels gauze bunched beneath her fingers, the silk against her other palm. She clutches the veil to her, protective, her voice tangled in her throat. She should call for the guards, she should fly from this room, from this insult --

By all the faces of the god, this girl’s tongue should be cut from her mouth.

Oh my! The girl’s eyes go wide, her hands held up in supplication. I’m sorry, I didn’t -- I don’t want to give offense.

That boat has already left its landing, but the only words she can manage are, You are an actual physician?

She doesn’t know how to read these Clarinese faces, but even so -- the concubine’s goes on a journey.

Yes, she says finally. I’m an actual -- I’m a pharmacist.

Samay had told her that the concubine was more than she seemed. That Shirayuki was as clever as they said she was, that she was skilled in spades, that she could turn hearts with little more than words --

She thought he meant it as a warning.

Shirayuki sets down her papers, sitting on the small stool close to the bed. They are of a height, but the white coat makes her look taller, look older. Makes her so tempted to trust the woman who should be her enemy --

I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, the concubine says, so softly, as if she’s a small child. She should be offended, but her hands shake, and -- and -- no one has spoken to her so kindly since she’s been here. So bluntly. Did you have exams in Wati?

She nods.

Shirayuki watches her, gaze searching. Can you explain them to me?

A physician would sit behind the screen, she tells her, nodding her head toward the one haphazardly placed in the corner. And then he would ask questions. A daughter of Visoth would give him my answers.

Her eyes pulse wide, shocked. But he never looked at your body? Or touched you?

She can barely speak past the insult, the -- the -- presumption.

Never! Her breath comes out in a wheeze. No one may look upon a body sacred to the god!

Shirayuki bites her lip, thoughtful. Here it’s -- very different. I have to -- to see your body. To check for ailments.

My health is unimpeachable, she snaps, heart wild in her chest. I breathe with the breath of the god!

The girl hesitates, but not with fear or awe -- no, she is thoughtful, weighing her words before she speaks.

Some illnesses are invisible. Her hand gestures to where her legs dangle off the bed. I heard that you’ve been walking slowly, with a limp. There’s a lot that can cause that, but I won’t know until I examine the muscles of your legs, or the structure of your bones. It could be something easy, or it could need, um -- more rigorous treatment. But I have to see to help you.

Her shins ache at their mention, throbbing when she even thinks of them being touched.

I will endure, she tells the concubine. It is what she always has done

The girl breathes in, breathes out. There’s no reason to live in pain. If I take a look now, you could be feeling better by the time you leave my office.

Her feet remind her of their blisters, of the way they are healing painfully, raggedly. Of how there are no palanquins in this barbaric place.

I cannot -- the promise of relief makes her faint. The veil --

You don’t have to take it off, the girl concedes. We can do that when you feel more comfortable. Just your clothes. You can keep your underthings on too, if that makes you feel better.

Something happens to her face in that moment, something that makes it strong, unyielding. It’s no one’s business, what’s under those. Not unless something bothers you. I’ve already...filled in that part. No one will bother you about it.

Her hands hesitate on the folds of her clothes, trying to parse the words. She wouldn’t -- there would be no need --

Ah. No matter what Ambassador Prak had promised, someone had thought to ask about the...wholeness of her person. Someone had requested it be part of this examination. And the concubine -- this Shirayuki --

She had already decided to lie for her. It made no sense, not for a rival.

I can remove my clothing, a voice, so unlike hers, says. Her fingers, stranger to her now, work at the ties holding together the cloth, pull it away from skin that has never seen the sun --

Oh, Miss, hums a voice, here you are.

Her hands seize tight around her clothes, clutching them to her body as a -- a --

A man crawls in through the window, all long-limbs and bronze skin. She may not be able to judge Clarinese by their features, but a Wati? She could tell all too well.

He is handsome. Even with the ragged scar that cuts beneath the bristle of his hairline

“Obi!” Shirayuki yelps, scrambling to stand in front of her, to give her some privacy, and oh, that interests her further, this man who sneaks into the concubine’s office, tempts her into taking another look --

Only to meet gold. Her heard freezes solid in her chest.

“Guards!” she screams. “Unclean!”

#answeek2018 #day 2 #akagami no shirayukihime #my fic #ans #Hierarchy of Beings #there was actually like 1K+ more #and then i realized it was like 2x longer than the other chapters #and i was like #WELL GETTING A HEAD START ON CHAPTER 4 I GUESS

[yellingmetatron]

A Spooky Story for Halloween

‘Tis the season for spookiness, so I thought I’d share a little story.  Is it related to my muse?  No.  Will it entertain you regardless?  Might do.  And hey, there’s gonna be a ghost lady.  Bitches (by which I mean everyone on tumblr including myself) dig ghost ladies.

Now, I have seen a common complaint about the archetypal Beauty and the Beast story, which is that in most its iterations, the story is about a male monster being redeemed by a woman. “Why can’t a man see past a woman’s outer monstrosity and into the goodness within?”  I hear you cry.  “Must it always be a woman who bears a man’s darkness?  Cannot a man love a monster for who she truly is?”

Well good news, kids: There is in fact a folktale that reverses the dynamic.  As with most fairy tales, there are several different tellings, all valid.  But I intend to share with you my favorite version, known popularly as “King Henry”, but re-imagined by myself as “King Doormat”.  Why King Doormat?  Oh, you’ll see.

Once upon a time in Ye Goode Olde Dayes, there lived a monarch called King Doormat.  He was a paragon of chivalry in the Dark Ages and something of a moron, which is no doubt why he was so beloved by his subjects. When he wasn’t busy being chivalrous and a moron, he liked to go out into the forest with his entourage and hunt, because you’re not expected to be chivalrous to deer, something that his courtiers probably spent quite a while getting King Doormat to understand.

The king and his followers were having a jolly good day in the royal forest not being chivalrous to deer, when suddenly a storm blew in.

“Hey, said King Doormat, “This looks like it’s a real wicked pissah.” He was the King of Massachusetts, apparently.  “Why don’t we take shelter in that hunting lodge?”  The king gestured to nearby Doomdeath Hall, which had stood abandoned for half a century after the last Lord Doomdeath, Gerard Squiggleby, had been eaten alive by ghost monsters.  The king’s retinue, who were less chivalrous than their liege but not much smarter, agreed.

They’d barely managed to break into the wine cellar when suddenly the storm outside got even worse. There was a flash of lightening, a sudden darkness, which is the opposite of lightening, and then a hideous screech that combined all the charm of nails on a chalkboard with the understated dignity of a cat stuck up a chimney.  And then who should come stamping into the hall but a ghost monster?  A lady ghost monster, even.  Let’s let Steeleye Span describe her, because heaven knows I can’t be bothered to invest much energy in this story given I know how it comes out:

Her head hit the roof-tree of the house Her middle you could not span Each frightened huntsman fled the hall And left the king alone Her teeth were like the tether stakes Her nose like club or mell And nothing less she seemed to be Than a fiend that comes from hell

King Doormat, being so exceptionally chivalrous, did not run away, but instead offered her some food.

“I hope venison is OK,” said King Doormat fretfully, “Only my advisors tell me if you let peasants eat venison they turn to stone, so I hope you’re at least, like, a baroness—"

“I wanna eat your horse,” said the lady ghost monster.

“…My what?”

“Your horse.  Kill your horse so I can eat it.”

“Oh, said King Doormat,” realization dawning, “You’re a French ghost.  Well, no judgement here, my father always said it takes all kinds to—”

“Less talking more killing,” growled the lady ghost monster, her teeth lengthening and her hair catching fire.

So off Doormat went to kill his horse, and presented its carcass to the lady ghost monster.  She turned to mist, crawled in one of its nostrils, and ate the whole thing from the inside-out, leaving only its skin.

“Well, that’s literally the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen,” said Doormat, “But at least it’s sort of overwhelmed the feeling of guilt I had for killing my favorite horse—”

“I wanna eat your dogs now,” said the lady ghost monster.

“…Wat.”

“Did I fudging stutter?”

“…But there’s still deer though.”  Doormat gestured helplessly to the three deer carcasses lying in the corner.  “I mean you could probably eat some organ meat without turning to stone, I hear most peasants—”

The lady ghost monster unhinged her jaw like a snake, bent all her joints backward, and made a sound like a foghorn being murdered by an ambulance siren in the king’s face.

“…OK, you can eat my dogs,” squeaked the king.

The lady ghost monster helpfully supervised the king in slaughtering the four dear hunting dogs he’d raised from puppies.  Then she ate them.

“So,” said King Doormat, weeping uncontrollably, “I don’t want to be rude, but—”

“Gonna eat your hunting hawks now.”

“…OK.”

And so the lady ghost monster ate his hunting hawks.  Of course she had him kill them himself, because she didn’t want to break a ghost nail or something.  Then she made him sew up his horse’s hide into a giant wineskin and fill it with wine. The king was thankful for that home economics course he took once, especially that one class where they practiced sewing up horse hides into giant wineskins.

After she finished her drink the king fully expected her leave, because in these backward times ladies and gentlemen usually parted company after dinner, but she just hung around, staring at him with her great big scary lady ghost monster eyes.

“Nice… weather,” the king hazarded, “I mean, I usually prefer sunshine, but I imagine being a ghost monster storms are a bit more your jam, and I can kind of appreciate—”

“That’s racist,” the lady ghost monster said, “No go out and gather heather to make me a bed.”

So he did.  Because of course he did.  He wouldn’t be King Doormat if he didn’t.  He picked all the heather he could outside, in the rain, by himself.  He dried it by the fire, and offered her ermine mantle as a blanket.

“Now get naked and lie next to me,” said the lady ghost monster.

“Yes, lady ghost monster,” said the king, unlacing his tunic.

“And promise me you’ll marry me tomorrow.”

“I promise, lady ghost monster,” said the king, finishing taking off his clothes.

“I’m your fiancée now so you can call me Janet.  And don’t hog all the mantle, I get cold easy.”

“Yes, Janet.  No, Janet,” said the king lying next to her and thinking of England.  Which was a bit weird considering we’d established that he’s the king of Massachusetts, but that’s hardly the strangest thing about this story.  I’d like to remind you that this lady passed up eating three deer, just in case you forgot.  They’re still there, the dead deer.  Uneaten.

The next morning, the sun was shining and the birds were singing.  The air smelled like pine, and lavender, and cotton candy, and honestly it was hell to someone with chronic rhinitis but King Doormat didn’t have that problem. He woke up pretty early but pretended to be asleep for a while in order to postpone acknowledging the terrible reality of his life, and in that moment truly appreciated what it was like to be the 99%.

“Open your eyes,” lilted a beautiful voice next to him.  King Doormat did so, and what should he behold but the fairest lady in all the land.

“Oh goodly king,” said the lady, her voice like sweet music and kittens, “Thou hast broken the curse that ‘twas ‘pon me.  Truly thou art chivalrous, giving me all I asked.   I shall be thine own true love for all thy days, such love that only the bards sing.  What say thee, good king Doormat?  Am I not the most perfect woman for which a heterosexual man could ask?”

And King Doormat replied, “Bitch, you ate my pets.”

No, actually, of course he married her, but frankly I like my ending better.  I mean, everyone gives the miller’s daughter in Rumpelstiltskin a lot of grief for marrying a guy who had repeatedly threatened to kill her, but at least she had the excuse of having basically no choice.  I mean, would you turn down a marriage proposal from a guy who was both the reigning monarch and perfectly happy to kill people for incredibly petty reasons?  Maybe she got to poison him and rule as Queen Regent after the business with Rumpelstiltskin was settled. That would have been a happy ending.

…what was I talking about? Oh, right.  This story was Motif D732 in Stith Thompson's motif index, “The Loathly Lady”.  Gender-inverted Beauty and the Beast.  Not all versions of the story have a protagonist this spineless—I mean, “chivalrous”.  I hope it tickled your spooky bone, and remember: If this night of All Hallows Eve you find yourself in the company of any lady (or gentleman) ghost monsters, be smart and don’t feed them your pets and then agree to marry them.  Odds are they’ll actually get where you’re coming from and leave you alone, because life isn’t like fairy tales.  And frankly some people would prefer to date ghost monsters instead of fair ladies, so no need to break any “curse”.

Happy Halloween!

#cut for length #out of voice

[alia-turin]

Prompt list #3 for Gladdy, plz!

Prompt List - Still accepting requests

Hi anon! I;m sorry it took me forever to answer but my Friday didn’t go as I had planned and then I had busy weekend. Hope you are around so you can see your fic! 

Prompt: “This isn’t what it looks like”

There was a strange rumor that has started around theCitadel and Gladio had no idea where it came from or who started it but here hewas.

“And Gladio.” His faster added to a very long list ofinstructions he has given him. “Try to be nice to the Prince’s young friend.Promto was his name, I believe. “

“But I am nice!” Gladio said that a bit too loud and hisfather raised an eyebrow. “I’m nice.” He repeated again this time with slightlyless emotion in his voice.

His father wasn’t the first one to say that. Few days ago,Cor had made similar remark in his typical flat and very direct way. His sisteralso had said something of these lines but she was a bit subtler about it comparedto the other two. Ignis also in a very polite manner had asked him to be nicewith Prompto.

Gladio still had no idea how or why all of them thought hehates the boy. He had met him only couple of times. He thought the kid wascool, but had no particular opinion on him since he hasn’t seen much of him.

He chased all that away from his thoughts. Sooner or laterhe was probably going to find out or everyone was going to shut up. Either wayit was okay with him.

Gladio went to the gym since that was his favourite place tobe alone with his thoughts. For his biggest surprised Prompto was there. Well,maybe now was the time to sort it all out.

“Hey, you need help?” he asked the blond kid as he waswalking toward him.

“Me?” Prompto almost dropped the barbell he was holding ifit wasn’t for Gladio to grab it before the metal crushed the kid’s feet.

“Yes, you.” He remembered what everyone was telling him andrealized that barking at the startled Prompto wasn’t a good idea. “I mean, ifyou want me to. I’d be happy to help.”

“S-ure.” The kid nodded and Gladio exhaled loudly. What thehell was he doing wrong? Why was he so scared of him?

Neither of them said much, Gladio just passed some weightplates to Prompto and helped him get comfortable on the bench. The weight wasn’ttoo much, but the kid was also skin and bones so Gladio moved in position tospot for him.

“So…Prompto…” he started unsure if he wats to approach thisconversation. “Have I said something to offend you?”

“You? I don’t think so…” the way he said it made Gladiothink that ‘I don’t think so’ actually meant ‘I think so’.

“Because it seems that everyone is under the impression Ihate you…or I’m not nice to you.” He added in his nicest voice.

“Well…” he made a pause after which he left the barbell init’s place, sat on the bench and turned toward Gladio. “You are a bit scary. Andyou bark at people sometimes.” The kid turned very red as he said that.

“I bark at people?” Gladio almost yelled, and when he saw Prompto’sbody jerk away from him he realized he just barked at him. “It’s just how Italk sometimes…” he said a bit calmer, very mindful of his selection of wordsand intonation.

“There was this one time…” Prompto started and Gladio wastrying to keep his friendliest expression in order not to freak out the kid. “Therewas this one time we were at Noct’s place. Iggy was busy at the Citadel so youhat to drop us there and you were in a hurry, and you shouted at us to hurry up…”

Ah. There it was. Gladio vaguely remembered that moment.Noct and Prompto were playing one of their stupid games and Gladio had to take themto the Citadel and he had date after that. Them being late meant he was latefor his date so he got a bit annoyed and might have…’barked’ at them.

“I might have complained in front of Iggy…” Promptocontinued. “And I think Noct mentioned it to your sister.” There it was. Iggyor Iris mentioned it to Clarus and Cor and there was how everyone thought hehated Prompto.

“I was in a hurry…” Gladio tried to apologize. “I wasn’t yellingat you guys, I had a date afterwards and I was running late so I might havelost my temper a bit.” He smiled and that seemed to have positive effect on theyounger man since he smiled back. “Want to do another set?”

Prompto nodded and rolled on the bench. Gladio was watching himgrab the barbell, the kid had managed to do well with the first set with nohelp from him so maybe he didn’t need him to spot. Just as he thought that,Prmopto lost his grip around the rod and would have dropped it straight on histhroat if it wasn’t for Gladio’s reflex. He grabbed the rod and held it inchaway from the kid’s body.

“Gladio!” the Marshal shouted at him and Gladio turnedaround to see Cor, his father and Ignis standing at the door. He looked at themand he looked at the weight he was holding, inches away from Prompto’s throat, Prompto’shand still in position trying to push the weight away…it seemed a lot as ifGladio was trying to strangle him.

“This is not what it looks like” he and Prompto yelled atthe same time.

#gladiolus amicitia #prompto argentum #gladio #prompto #final fantasy xv #my writing

[half-goddess-urd]

@grxntcd

“Mama?.... Where are we going?” asked the young goddess, as she tightly held her mother’s hand, and tried to keep up with the eerily quiet demon, who for once had nothing to say.

As a matter of fact, the proud leader of Hell only kept walking, with her frowning daughter follow right after her, given that she had no other option on the matter. 

“Mama!... I’m tired!” half pleaded the little goddess, as she began to get groggy from having to walking such a long distance on foot. It was the first time she ventured this far from her mother’s house.

“We’re almost there.” Cryptic as it was laconic, Hild’s reply offered no indication as to what they were even supposed to be doing. However, Hild was in no mood for discussions right now.

And without anything better to  do, Urd reached to her tiny bag, to get the last of the cookies her mother baked for her today. It was a pretty strange day, indeed, as the goddess woke up to find her mother with a huge tray of food, as breakfast, and then spent what must’ve been the best morning she had. Period.

Not only did Hild spent time with her, instead of having to go to work first, but she even taught her to make a very simple potion, in what was her first alchemy set; a gift her mother just gave her the previous night. 

Still... strangely enough, after she took her out for that walk to the park, Hild became far too distant, and for the love of her life, Urd couldn’t quite tell why.

Nibbling at the last cookie, Urd looked over her shoulder as the demonic city disappeared behind them, and they approached a building containing a tunnel the “Gate of Hell” or at least that’s what she heard from some the servants back in her mother’s place. “Mama... I want to go home now.” 

Glancing down at her daughter, Hild took a deep breath and then averted her gaze once more. “You will.”

Furrowing her brows, Urd took a few more steps forward, until something all of sudden smacked at her face, causing the goddess to fall on her back. “Oof!”

“Urd, what did-” started Hild, as she turned to look at the fallen form of her daughter, only to catch a dark shadow move rapidly away from them, only to stop for a moment, to reveal itself as a demonic ferret.

And as Urd got up from the ground, she pawed at her neck, only to notice that something was missing. The necklace Hild got her at her birthday was stolen by that ferret, that even had the gall to put it around its rotund body, like a hula, and to add more to the insult, the moment Urd stared at it... the ferret blew her a raspberry. “Why you!... Come back, you, thief!”

Much to Hild’s astonishment, the unfolding scene defied logic, as her daughter began to chase after that infuriating ferret, that resisted  her attempts to get the necklace back.

Soon enough, though, Urd had the furry critter cornered, as it climbed on a nearby tree to save its fur from the snarling little goddess, who couldn’t hover properly just yet, and all she could do was try to go after it, only to find the tree’s trunk way too slippery. And the moment the creature sensed that it was safe from her, it celebrated its victory in the only way it knew: by blowing her a raspberry.

A low growl escaped her throat, as her otherwise innocent eyes burned from the indignity of being bested by a furball with an attitude. As such, the little goddess raised a hand and pointed her index finger skywards, before she took in a deep breath, and then screamed on top of her lungs. “Urd bolt!”

Lightning struck the tree, and by an extend the ferret, that turned into a puffed up ball, as it fell back on the ground with a fulfilling bounce. Taking a tumble, the astonishingly brash creature finally let go of the necklace, which Urd immediately recovered, much to her gleeful satisfaction.

“Gotcha!” gloated, Urd, taking her time to inspect the necklace for any signs of damage, but for her mother, this was way too much of a distraction.

“Urd! We’ve wasted enough time already, so-” Moving to grab her daughter’s hand, Hild came to an abrupt halt when Urd turned to face her, and spend the next couple of seconds simply... staring at her. “What?...”

Where a bluish triangle used to be in her daughter’s forehead, a single, five pointed star had taken its place. And as if that wasn’t enough, both the star and the triangles she had on her cheeks were now a vivid red... that almost matched her own marking’s color.

However, seeing that her mother simply stared at her in stunned silence, Urd merely shrugged, and started to head back to their house, leaving her stunned mother to wonder just what took place here.

“Hm... so, she resembles you in more ways than just her looks,” said a deep, masculine voice from right next to the bewildered leader of the demons, causing her to turn sharply to the shockingly... familiar tone; only to find the still puffed up ferret, brush his signed fur.

“YOU?!” was all, Hild could remark, as she realized just who was behind this whole farce, and yet couldn’t believe it.

For his part, the -positively possessed- ferret looked up to the demon and stared at her with a hint of a smile, until he shook his head and went back in character.

Which basically meant that the ferret resumed his passive aggressive expression, and with great impunity, he... blew her a raspberry.

“Oof!...”

Picking herself up from the marble floor that reflected her confused expression, Urd took a moment to survey her surroundings, only to immediately realize that this wasn’t her room, at all. As a matter of fact, she felt somewhat confused when she couldn’t even recall with great clarity what her room even looked like, since she almost had two, very different images in her mind, but for now that was irrelevant.

‘Where the Hell, am I?’

Everything seemed familiar, as she could’ve sworn that she was here before, but the more she tried to recall when it wat, Urd’s head protested, causing her to clutch it in pain. ‘Seriously... I need to pay more attention what I’m drinking. This is the last time I’m raiding mom’s cash.’

Coming to an abrupt halt, Urd mentally traced back her thoughts, as there was something profoundly wrong with that, and yet... she wasn’t exactly sure what that was.

However, as she started to recover from her the general sense of disorientation, Urd proceeded to check around the room, and finally recognized whose powers were behind its construction.

‘RuYi.’

Her jinni friend was one of the few outsiders she trusted enough to hang around, as most others were closely associated with her mother, or even her adopted sister of sorts, since trust was a valuable commodity in Hell. And with the only other exceptions being her half sisters, and to a degree their mother, Ansuz, the half demon had few others to actually call friends. ‘Hm... well, there’s always Mara, and those servants of Hagall’s, but... that’s about it. So much for being popular, I guess.’

Stretching, Urd decided that it was about time to call for her most gracious hostess, and find out what she’s been doing here in the first place, as her memory were still somewhat foggy.

“RuYi! Come out, wherever you are! I know that you’re peeping on me, you naughty girl!”

#grxntcd #verse: demon AU

[raendown]

Pairing: HashiramaSakura Soulmate au: The one where you can see their soul and heal their emotional wounds as you get closer to each other

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

To be perfectly honest, Sakura sort of hated the catch-all excuse of ‘because we’re soulmates’. She didn’t like that so many people used it to explain away so many things just because they didn’t want to take the time to actually look in to the deeper reasons for why things happened, what decisions led to that event, or even what the resulting repercussions would be. More than that, Sakura didn’t like that even if someone did take the time to look in to all of that and drag it all out in to the light, it could still be summed up by simply saying ‘because we’re soulmates’.

This might have been why she spent so long denying her own soulmate when she finally found him. When she met the reanimated Senju Hashirama during the Fourth Great Shinobi War, she definitely had not expected to look in to him, down in to the very depths of who he was as a person to see his very soul shining brightly within. She also hadn’t expected her own soul to reach out to his and bring him back to life! She absolutely refused to accept that he had come back to life simply because his soul had bonded with her own. The ‘almighty power of soulmates’ was her least favorite trope in those stupid romcom movies Ino always tried to force her to watch and she was not going to take being a victim herself of such absurdity.

In her mind there had to be some sort of medical reason. Her theories mostly revolved around the regenerative properties of the Mokuton and quite possibly how it interacted with Edo Tensei. In the months after the war, Sakura subjected her newly alive-again soulmate to endless tests and experiments. She explored his DNA more thoroughly than anyone’s had ever been explored before, constantly frustrated to come up without answers.

For his part, Hashirama seemed less thrilled to have been given a second chance at life than one might expect – although she definitely understood why when he told her. He knew very little about this new world he had been reborn in to. The technologies of this new Konoha were foreign and slightly alarming to him. After having been levelled and rebuilt, none of the buildings or streets were the same. Not even the people were the same; all of the people Hashirama had known and loved had passed on years ago but for one remaining grandchild. As thrilled as he was to have finally discovered his soulmate, Hashirama was lonely in this new world. And Sakura could see it.

Day after day she forced herself to look away from the cracks that marred the light shining inside of him. They resembled the patterns of shattered glass, the golden brilliance of his soul shimmering through them as if to say ‘here I am, I am broken but still here, please look at me’. Much the same as the way Hashirama willing came to her again and again and again, allowing her to poke him with needles and takes samples of whatever she liked, all for the chance to smile hopefully at her and make a bit of conversation as she worked. She could see all the small damages his soul had taken and she very much wished she couldn’t. What could someone like her do for someone like him? Her, with her big forehead and her civilian heritage and her tendency to always get left behind. Sakura had long been used to being forgotten by the men and the boys in her life, surely it was only a matter of time before this man forgot her too.

Yet a man like Hashirama was hard to ignore, and for more reasons than just his overwhelming physical presence. He was tall and broad and stunningly gorgeous but those were not the traits which gave her pause and caused her to catch herself staring almost longingly time and time again.

Hashirama was bright in the same manner that Naruto was, though in a more mature way. He was a naturally upbeat person, always trying to make her smile or laugh or simply take a moment to appreciate some small moment in her day. He was also much smarter than the history books ever mentioned. His brother was the venerated genius, which usually caused his own rather impressive mind to be looked over. As humble as he was, though, he didn’t really care. He was kind and generous and an absolute terror to spar with, where he even showed a very satisfying respect for her own skills. He was everything she could have ever wanted in a partner.

And it took her three stupid years to appreciate him. Somewhere in between taking a blood sample and asking him to demonstrate his Mokuton when exposed to certain stresses, Hashirama had absently noted how tired she looked and offered to bring her lunch so she would be able to enjoy her break here in the privacy of her labs. When she accepted, somewhat surprised, she hadn’t expected him to bring a lunch of his own and stay. She didn’t expect him to regale her with stories of his younger years in the days before Konoha had even been built. She didn’t expect to enjoy his company so much she hesitantly asked him to stay for lunch the next day as well.

Before she knew it they were taking extended lunches in teahouses and cafes, meeting in the park on weekends to feeds the pond ducks, strolling arm in arm through the marketplace as she sought the perfect present for Ino’s birthday. Her research and her experiments fell slowly to the wayside, bit by bit, until one day she realized she hadn’t set foot in that lab for several days and had little interest in doing so.

What did she care for why he was here? Wouldn’t it be better to just accept that he was and enjoy their time together? His presence filled her life in a way no one else had before. He made her happy the way her father made her mother happy, the way Sai made Ino happy. After so long of closing her eyes and refusing to see what was in front of her, Sakura finally stopped to wonder why she couldn’t just let herself accept the happiness being offered to her so freely.

Three years after Hashirama was reborn, three years after she looked in to him and bound their souls together, Sakura looked again – really looked. She could hardly imagine that anyone else could ever have a soul more beautiful than Senju Hashirama’s: the rich golden color of it, the brilliant shine, and the way she could feel its warmth whenever she stood close. And now that she had finally allowed herself to look she saw something new. The thin cracks that had shadowed the light were closing, the edges melting together and leaving fewer and fewer each day.

In a moment of bravery, Sakura told him about the healing cracks. Instead of seeming surprised or even mildly interested, Hashirama only laughed like she had stated the obvious.

“But of course they’re healing,” he said to her. “That is the power of soulmates, is it not? To heal one another’s souls.”

“I suppose.” Sakura replied slowly. She had rather deliberately not thought too hard on what soulmates were supposed to do for each other while she’d been busy trying to disprove…she couldn’t exactly remember what she had been trying to prove or disprove.

“Besides, how could they not? After all, that is the very first thing that you and I discovered we had in common.”

“What do you mean?”

Hashirama reached out and stroked one finger down the line of her jaw, more bold then he had ever been before. The touch was almost intimate compared to the careful distance he usually maintained, ever conscious to respect her boundaries and allow her to always be the one to come closer. When he spoke his tone was soft yet firmly confident.

“You are a healer, Sakura. As am I. And I do not mean the jutsu that we use or the chakra we expend. We are the people that will stay when all others have turned away. We are the people that will listen when all others have closed their ears. We are the ones that hold firm when all others have given in. We are the healers, the ones who will offer comfort to a friend or help to an overburdened old women. We protect others. We help them. And we heal them. Under such kind light as that which shines every time I see your beautiful smile, what else could I do but heal?”

Tears filled her eyes and Sakura blinked rapidly to chase them away. The strangely archaic cadences of his speech only made his words more touching, in her opinion. The way he spoke always seemed to her to carry the weight of words well-thought out and these words in particular he seemed to have given quite a bit of thought to.

“That is also not to say that I am disparaging your abilities as a medical shinobi, and a prodigious one at that.” Hashirama’s eye twinkled. “Trained by my own kin and with such incredible natural talents, how could you not be?” Sakura gave a watery giggle.

“Stop, stop!” She cried softly. “I can only take so many compliments!”

“Ah, I could shower you with compliments from sunrise to sunset and never run out of things to say, my beautiful blossom.”

Sakura blushed fiercely, turning her head to hide her smile. Her expression dimmed quickly, however. “How can you say such nice things about me after the way I’ve treated you? You…are my soulmate.” It was the first time she had admitted it out loud and she was surprised by the wat the words tasted so sweet. “But I pushed you away and I treated you like some science experiment and – why are you laughing?”

“Forgive me, I pray, I don’t mean to laugh.” Despite his words, another chuckle escape before Hashirama calmed himself enough to smile and go on. “I received worse treatment from my own brother when the mood for his experiments took him. Always for the greater good, he insisted, and he did mean well. It isn’t evil to seek answers, Sakura. It isn’t bad to want an explanation before you trust in something.”

“I trust you,” Sakura blurted. Only once she had spoken did she realize she meant it wholeheartedly. Hashirama looked pleased.

“I wonder if you would allow me to say something rather bold,” he asked, such sweet hesitance in his face. Sakura tilted her head to one side, curious.

“Of course,” she told him. “You can tell me anything you like.”

She was startled to see the faintest hint of color rise to paint itself across his tanned cheeks. Hashirama reached out with both of his hands to grasp her own, sliding his fingers under hers ever so gently to hold them as though each were a delicate, precious jewel.

“I find myself quite in love with you, Sakura. Even if I could not see the bright beauty of your soul I would wish to have no other. If you would allow me, I would spend the rest of my days devoted only to your happiness.” She had always thought his face so open, yet right then she realized she had been missing out. His expression was more earnest than she had ever seen before, so warm and soft and kind. She could see the love he professed right there in his eyes, ready for the taking if she were so inclined.

“Oh Hashirama,” she breathed. “I don’t know what to say to that.” His fingers tightened around hers just the slightest bit.

“Say yes,” he suggested. It wasn’t a command, he would never command her emotions. He was such a good man.

“Yes,” she whispered, almost helpless to give him any answer but that one. “I don’t feel as if I’ll ever deserve you but yes!”

The look on his face when she fell against his chest was one of unadulterated awe. His smile was like sunlight blooming through a week’s worth of rainy day clouds and it warmed her right down to her very bones, filling her with such light feelings she thought she might have floated away if not for the strong arms that wrapped around her. With her hands now free, she gripped the front of his yukata to pull herself ever closer.

He smelled earthen, of growing things. His chest was like a solid wall of muscle and his arms softened steel bands. Sakura had been a self-sufficient woman since the day Tsunade taught her the trick to channeling her chakra through her arms; she could and had taken on the most dangerous people this broken world had to offer. She needed no one’s protection. That did not stop her from reveling in just how safe she felt inside her soulmate’s embrace. She knew instinctively that he would protect her, not just from physical hurts, but from emotional ones as well. Here she was safe. Here she would always be wanted, always be loved.

“My dear Sakura,” Hashirama whispered in her ear, “you deserve the world and all the good things in it.”

Flushing again with delighted pleasure, Sakura lifted her head to trace his handsome face with her eyes. Now that she had allowed herself to look she wondered how she had managed not to for so long. He was more than handsome, he was beautiful – inside and out. She could hardly believe that he belonged to her.

It seemed only natural for her to lean forwards and press a chaste kiss to his lips. Hashirama hummed, a delighted little noise, and held her tighter while tilting his head for a better angle with which to deepen the kiss. Sakura was lost immediately, lightheaded and dizzy with the rush of sensations flooding through her. She could hardly believe how right this felt. It was like puzzle pieces falling in to place, a riddle solved after three years of searching for an answer that had been right there in front of her all this time.

Hashirama kissed her until she happily conceded to the idea of never breathing properly again, so utterly filled with happiness that she rarely recognized herself. When they pulled apart she nearly squinted her eyes against the brilliance shining from deep within him and tears filled her eyes when he described to her what he saw of her own soul.

Cracked and bruised and broken it had been, riddled with the gaping chasms of personal hurts. But those breaks were healing just as his own were. Day by day the wounds upon both of their souls had been healing for quite some time already as each spent more and more happy time in each other’s presence. Hashirama and Sakura were healing each other, healing together. And as he had said, it was more than just because they were soulmates. Hashirama and Sakura were born healers; they could hardly do anything less than they were meant to.  

#i've never written hashirama like this before #i fell in love with him like this #soulmate collection #rae writes #hashisaku #hashirama #sakura #fanfiction #naruto shippuden