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soulofapatrick · 1 month

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Broken Showers Aren't All Bad - Alec Lightwood x female reader

Summary: You use Alec's shower as yours is broken

Words: 2.6k

Warnings: none

Y/N’s POV

As I stumble back to the institute, my muscles aching and my clothes stained with sweat and demon ichor, I can’t help but feel a sense of exhaustion weighing heavily on my shoulders. The fight against the shax demons had been relentless, each blow and dodge taking its toll on my body and spirit.

Dragging myself to my room, I’m grateful for the ensuite bathroom, the promise of a hot shower offering a small sliver of comfort amidst the chaos and danger that constantly surrounds us. But as I step into the shower and turn on the water, my relief quickly turns to frustration as the pipes splutter and the flow of water comes to an abrupt halt, leaving me standing there in disbelief.

With a groan of frustration, I pound my fist against the tiled wall, feeling a surge of pent-up anger and exhaustion bubbling to the surface. It's the last straw in a long line of setbacks and challenges, and I can't help but feel like I'm at the end of my rope. They said they had fixed my shower earlier today but it’s still fucked.

Desperate for a solution, I run through a mental checklist of every member of our group, trying to determine who might be willing to let me use their shower. Clary and Jace are out of the question—they're probably lost in each other's embrace, lost in their own world of love and passion. And Izzy, well, she doesn't know the meaning of privacy, likely to barge in without warning at any given moment.

That leaves Alec—the one person in our group who values his privacy above all else. It's a long shot, but I'm left with no other choice, especially as he’s out on a mission currently.

As I tiptoe through the dimly lit corridors of the Institute, my heart races with anticipation and a tinge of nervousness. I know I shouldn't be doing this, sneaking into Alec's room while he's away on a mission, but my own shower has been malfunctioning for days, and I can't stand the thought of going another day feeling unkempt.

The door to Alec's room creaks softly as I push it open, praying that no one hears. Stepping inside, I quickly make my way to the bathroom, feeling a rush of relief wash over me as I shut the door behind me. The warm steam soon envelops me as I strip off my clothes and throw my towel aside, longing for the hot water.

As I step into Alec's shower, the warmth envelops me like a comforting embrace, easing the tension that had been coiled tightly in my muscles. The steam fills the small space, wrapping around me like a gentle cloud, washing away the lingering remnants of fear and adrenaline from the encounter with the shax demons.

I close my eyes, letting the water cascade over me, each droplet a soothing caress against my skin. The scent of Alec's shampoo and soap fills the air, a familiar and comforting aroma that helps to ground me in the present moment.

With each passing second, the tension begins to melt away, replaced by a sense of relaxation and relief. The hot water works its magic, easing the ache in my limbs and soothing the bruises that litter my body from the fight.

I tilt my head back, letting the water cascade over my face, feeling the weight of the day's events slowly lift from my shoulders. In this moment, there is nothing but the sensation of warmth and cleanliness, a temporary reprieve from the chaos and danger that constantly surrounds us.

As I stand under the warm cascade of water in Alec's shower, a sense of tranquility washes over me, momentarily banishing the worries and fears that had plagued me earlier. But as the sound of footsteps approaches the door, my heart lurches in my chest, and panic sets in like a suffocating wave.

Alec’s footsteps are unmistakable—steady and purposeful, devoid of the usual warmth or joviality. My mind races with the worst-case scenarios, imagining his stern expression and sharp reprimands as he discovered me here, intruding upon his private space and using his stuff.

With trembling hands, I reach for the shower curtain, hastily pulling it closed around me as if it could shield me from the impending confrontation. My breath comes in shallow gasps, the steamy air feeling suddenly stifling as I await Alec's inevitable discovery.

The moment the bathroom door creaks open, my heart feels as though it’s lodged in my throat, and I shrink back against the tiled wall, desperately trying to make myself as small as possible on instinct. Through the opaque curtain, I can vaguely make out Alec’s silhouette, his presence looming like an impending storm.

“Who’s there?” His voice pierces through the heavy silence, sharp and authoritative, sending a shiver down my spine.

I swallow hard, my throat feeling dry and constricted. "It's me," I manage to choke out, my voice barely above a whisper, my words muffled by the fabric of the curtain.

Alec’s footsteps draw nearer, and I can feel the weight of his gaze boring into me, even through the barrier of the shower curtain. Every nerve in my body is on high alert, bracing for the inevitable backlash of his discovery.

“What are you doing here?" His voice carries a note of incredulity, mixed with a hint of confusion.

I bite my lip, my mind scrambling for an explanation, any excuse that could possibly justify my presence here. "My shower... it's broken," I stammer out, my words coming out in a rushed tumble, my cheeks burning with embarrassment.

There’s a moment of tense silence, broken only by the sound of water cascading from the showerhead. I brace myself for Alec's anger, fully expecting a sharp rebuke for my audacity.

But, to my surprise, when Alec finally speaks, his voice carries a note of understanding, his tone softer than I had anticipated. "Well, I suppose you can finish up here," he says, his words tinged with a hint of amusement.

Relief floods through me like a tidal wave, and I let out a shaky breath, feeling the tension in my muscles slowly begin to ebb away.

As I finish my shower, hastily drying off with a fluffy towel, a sinking feeling settles in the pit of my stomach as I realise my oversight—I forgot to bring clean clothes with me. With a frustrated sigh, I wrap the towel tightly around my body, hoping it provides at least some semblance of modesty as I prepare to face the inevitable embarrassment of leaving Alec's bathroom in just my towel.

Steeling myself for the inevitable, I take a deep breath and push open the bathroom door, my cheeks burning with embarrassment as I step into the room beyond. My eyes dart nervously around the familiar surroundings, searching for any sign of Alec's presence.

And then, I see him—standing by the window, his back turned to me, his gaze focused intently on something outside. Relief floods through me at the sight, grateful for the temporary reprieve from the awkwardness of the situation.

But as if sensing my presence, Alec turns, his eyes widening in surprise as they travel the length of my body, lingering for a moment longer than is strictly necessary. A flush of crimson creeps into his cheeks, and he quickly averts his gaze, clearing his throat in a feeble attempt to disguise his embarrassment. "Uh, sorry," he mumbles, his voice slightly hoarse, his eyes fixed resolutely on the floor. "I didn't realise you were... uh... here.”

I swallow hard, feeling the heat rise to my own cheeks as I struggle to find the right words to break the awkward silence that hangs between us. "I, uh... forgot to bring clean clothes," I mumble sheepishly, feeling like a fool for my forgetfulness.

Alec nods awkwardly, his cheeks still tinged with a faint blush. "Right," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "Well, um... I can, uh, go get you something to wear... if you want.”

Instead of leaving the room to head to mine he moves to his chest of drawers, searching for something for me to wear. I feel a mix of gratitude and nervous anticipation, never expecting Alec to share his clothes with me let alone his shower. When he returns with a black t-shirt in hand, I accept it with a grateful smile, clutching it tightly against my chest as I wait for him to realise that he needs to turn away.

For a moment, Alec seems to falter, his gaze lingering on me expectantly until the realisation dawns on him. With a slight cough, he quickly averts his eyes, turning away to give me the privacy I need to pull the shirt over my head. As I slide the shirt on, I'm struck by how it drapes loosely over my frame, reaching down to mid-thigh and resembling more of a short dress than a typical t-shirt. The fabric is soft against my skin, imbued with Alec's scent, a comforting reminder of his presence.

When Alec finally turns back around, his eyes widen in surprise at the sight of me in his shirt, his gaze lingering on the way it hugs my curves and falls to the length of my thighs. A faint blush creeps into his cheeks once again, but this time, there's a hint of something else in his expression—a mixture of admiration and something deeper, more intimate.

"You, uh, look good in that," he stammers out, his voice slightly hoarse, his eyes flickering uncertainly as they meet mine.

I can't help but smile at his awkward attempt at a compliment, feeling a warmth spread through me at the genuine sincerity in his words. "Thanks," I reply softly, feeling a flutter of excitement in the pit of my stomach at the realisation that Alec's gaze lingers on me a moment longer than necessary, his eyes filled with a warmth that sends a shiver down my spine.

As I stand there in Alec's room, the weight of the moment hanging heavy in the air, I can't shake the feeling of reluctance that settles in the pit of my stomach. Despite the lingering warmth of Alec's gaze and the newfound connection between us, I know that I can't stay here forever.

With a soft sigh, I muster up the courage to break the silence, clearing my throat awkwardly as I glance towards the door. "I should probably get back to my room," I say softly, the words feeling heavy on my tongue.

Alec nods in understanding, his expression unreadable as he steps aside to let me pass. "Yeah, of course," he replies, his voice tinged with a hint of resignation.

As I make my way towards the door, a pang of regret washes over me, aching in my chest like a physical weight. Part of me had hoped that Alec would stop me from leaving, that he would reach out and pull me back into his embrace, unwilling to let me go.

But as I glance back over my shoulder, Alec's expression remains stoic and unreadable, his gaze fixed resolutely on the floor. With a heavy heart, I push open the door and step out into the hallway, the sound of it closing behind me echoing in the silence.

As I return to my room, the echoes of Alec's presence still lingering in my mind, I quickly slip on a pair of panties before reaching for the black t-shirt he lent me. With a momentary pang of guilt, I peel off the shirt, feeling a sense of loss as I momentarily remove the comforting fabric from my skin.

But the need for cleanliness overrides my reluctance, and I hastily pull on a clean bra before slipping Alec's shirt back over my head, the familiar fabric enveloping me once again in its warmth. Bringing the collar to my nose, I inhale deeply, breathing in the scent of Alec that lingers there, a mixture of soap and sweat and something uniquely him.

Lost in the comforting embrace of Alec's shirt, I'm startled by a sudden knock at my door, the sound jolting me back to reality. Swinging the door open, expecting to see Izzy, my breath catches in my throat as it’s Alec standing there instead. His expression is wrought with anxiety and before I can even utter a word of inquiry, he closes the gap between us in two swift strides, his hands reaching out to cup my face in a surprisingly gentle yet urgent grip.

The world seems to tilt on its axis as Alec's lips crash against mine, stealing the breath from my lungs and sending my heart into a frenzied rhythm. His kiss is passionate and breathless, a whirlwind of emotions and desires unleashed in a single moment of raw vulnerability.

I'm momentarily stunned, my mind struggling to catch up with the sudden turn of events. But as Alec's lips move fervently against mine, a surge of warmth floods through me, melting away any doubts or reservations I may have had.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pull him closer, losing myself in the intoxicating sensation of his touch. His hands are rough and calloused against my skin, a stark contrast to the softness of his lips as they trail a fiery path along my jawline and down my neck.

In that moment, there is nothing else but Alec and me, lost in the dizzying whirlwind of passion and longing. The world outside fades away, replaced by the electric intensity of our connection as we become entangled in each other's embrace.

And as Alec finally pulls away, his chest heaving with exertion, I'm left breathless and exhilarated, a million thoughts and emotions swirling through my mind. “Do it again,” I s all I can breathe, Alec’s response immediate and impassioned. With a hunger that matches my own, he presses me against the nearest wall, his lips claiming mine with a fervour that leaves me dizzy with desire. In that moment, it feels as though we're the only two people in the world, lost in the intensity of our connection.

His hand finds its way to my bare thigh beneath his shirt, hitching my leg around his waist, pulling me impossibly closer as if he can't bear to be apart from me even for a moment longer. The sensation of his touch sends a shiver of pleasure coursing through me, igniting a fire that threatens to consume us both. Every caress, every kiss feels like an affirmation of the bond between us, a silent promise of things to come.

But our stolen moment of passion is abruptly interrupted by the unmistakable sound of someone clearing their throat. Reluctantly, we break apart, our breaths coming in ragged gasps as we turn to find Izzy standing in the doorway of my room, a knowing smirk playing at the corners of her lips.

"Welllllll" she says, her voice laced with amusement. “Sorry to interrupt this but I need to steal Y/N,” she adds with a wink, "you two can continue this later. Preferably with the bedroom door closed this time.”

I feel my cheeks flush with embarrassment at being caught in such a compromising position, burying my face in Alec’s shirt who's gaze remains unwavering as he meets Izzy's teasing grin with a smirk of his own.

“Later Izzy," he replies smoothly, his tone laced with amusement. “10 more minutes.”

With that Izzy snorts and closes the door on her way out, a fond smile on her face and Alec pulling me into his arms, a hug that has me nuzzling into the crook of his neck not sure what this is between us.

“I never thought I’d be happy about a broken shower.”

“Me neither.”

The Shadowhunters Masterlist TAG LIST - updated 21st Dec 2023

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thehalfbloodedwitch · 2 years

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ɴɪx'ꜱ ᴀɴɢꜱᴛ ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛ ʟɪꜱᴛ!!

The below mentioned prompts were created with the help of some Goggle searches, YouTube videos, song lyrics, etc. Although I have created the prompts, the inspiration for them may have come from Google.

Feel free to send me 1 or many prompts with a character!

If you would like to use any of them, please do reblog this post or credit me!

"You live once, you die once, but love, I couldn't even do it once"

"Coming in my room to find you wrapped around someone else's arms just breaks my heart, but you look happy with him anyway"

"My heaven is you, is yours me too?"

"Snogging my best friend right in front of me and expecting for me to forgive you?"

"This is goodbye"

"No no no, it isn't your time yet, no I won't let you go so easily"

"Take me back to the night we met"

"Do you get deja vu?"

"Do you choose me or her/him?" "I-I choose-" "Don't choose me, choose her/him because if you actually loved me, you would've never fallen for her/him"

"Were you ever in love with me?" "I was always in love with you!" "Doesn't look like it, if you were you would've never been with another man/woman"

"I'm not yours, not anymore"

"Why don't you move on?" "It's not as easy as it seems when everything around you reminds you of them"

"I am so disappointed in you!" "Have always been one anyway"

"But someone's gotta go"

"You left me when I needed you the most, and now you expect me to take you back into my life as if nothing happened?"

"Poetry was the only thing that helped me forget about all my problems, but now that my problem is you, poetry reminds me of you everyday"

"I knew her/him more than you" "Oh do you? Then do you know that she/he was lying in the corner not eating for days after you left? Do you know that she/he locked themselves up in a room and cried for days? Do you know when you moved on she/he never even thought of loving another? It doesn't matter if you knew her/him more than me, it matters if you knew her/him during the times of their needs"

"You were never mine"

"Maybe in another life"

"I knew you would leave me too"

#angst prompt #angst prompt list #harry potter angst #angst #draco angst #draco malfoy angst #harry angst #stranger things angst #steve harrington angst #eddie munson angst #peter ballard angst #shadow hunters angst #alec lightwood angst #jace wayland angst

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c1nnam00n · 1 month

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me seeing that my fav character barely/doesn’t have any fanfics OR imagines

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la-muerta · 10 months

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this is the nonsense of love || MINDY NETTIFEE

The truth is this: My love for you is the only empire I will ever build. When it falls, as all empires do, my career in empire building will be over. I will retreat to an island. I will dabble in the vacation-hut industry. I will skulk about the private libraries and public parks. I will fold the clean clothes. I will wash the dishes. I will never again dream of having the whole world.

#malec #shadowhunters #shadowhuntersdaily #magnus bane #alec lightwood #immortality angst #I made a thing #dailymagnusbane

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lawsofchaos1 · 5 months

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Shadowhunter Promptlet: Empath Alec Lightwood

Imagine an AU where certain powerful Downworlders and some Shadowhunters from the oldest bloodlines, the ones most connected to Raziel, have special powers.

Alec is the eldest son of two ancient lineages and no one is surprised when his gift is unusually strong. Alec is an empath/psychometric and can feel everyone's emotions through touch. The emotions are overpowering and hurt, so he wears gloves almost every waking minute of the day and avoids touch from pretty much everyone, only occasionally allowing Izzy or Jace close, but never any direct skin contact.

Magnus, son of Asmodeus, is equally strong in his gift - a telepath who can influence people's emotions in addition to reading minds. Although, people are horrible, so Magnus has iron clad shields to prevent that as much as possible.

Magnus has locked his heart away for centuries because he is terrified that his partners only 'love' him because he's influenced them without meaning too.

When Magnus and Alec meet, Alec is absolutely entranced. Nobody has ever felt so good to him before, and feeling the edges of Magnus' emotions is like sinking into a warm bath. Magnus resists his own fast fall into love until he finds out that Alec is immune to being influenced by his emotions - he can feel them, but he knows they're not his. Magnus cries for the first time in centuries when he realizes that Alec's open adoration for him isn't something Magnus unknowingly manufactured in the thrall of loneliness and desperation.

Alec is touch-starved, their kiss at the altar the first time Alec has touched anybody's bare skin since he was a child. Afterwards, Alec indulges in Magnus' touch every chance he can get, reveling in every brush of warmth from Magnus' hands and lips and arms.

[Only hit Keep Reading if you want some optional hella angst before returning to the happy ending as scheduled.]

They’re still the wonderful, schmoopy Malec we adore, but Alec always feels in the back of his head like he somehow lucked out and stole Magnus from someone more deserving - he was literally Magnus’ only option after all.

On a mission one day, however, Alec discovers a lead on a magical artifact that would enable Magnus to selectively neutralize his powers.

Alec would do anything for even a small chance at changing his husband’s life like that- letting him be able to finally hug Ragnor and Cat and Raphael, let him hold Madzie’s hand.

But Alec knows in the deepest part of his heart that with every step he comes closer to finding the artifact, he takes one step closer to losing his husband. Why would Magnus choose Alec if this discovery opened up the whole world for Magnus to choose from?

Three weeks later, in an abandoned dockside warehouse, Alec stares down at the gem in his hand and thinks that it’s a cruel irony he would find this on the evening of their third anniversary.

He contemplates waiting, contemplates giving himself just one more time with Magnus, one more night to burn in his memory to last for the rest of his life, but he knows that every stolen touch would feel tainted and wrong.

The only question is, after giving the gem to Magnus, does he wait for his husband to ask for his freedom or does he offer to give it to him before he is forced to hear that request cross Magnus’ lips?

Alec doesn’t know which one will hurt worse.

[Return to happy ending post-haste after suitable amount of Miscommunication and Angst]

#malec #shadowhunters #lawsofchaos rambles #promptlet #alec lightwood deserves nice things #magnus bane deserves nice things #optional angsty middle before return to happy ending #angst with a happy ending

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the-mortal-incorrects · 5 months

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Jace: How many times can the same thing break your heart? Alec: As long as you love it.

#incorrect shadowhunters quotes #jace herondale #alec lightwood #the mortal instruments #angst #parabatai

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professionalfanatic · 4 months

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It's been two hundred years since Magnus Bane lost his husband. Two hundred years since he'd lost the love of his life, Alexander Gideon Lightwood.

Magnus stood, looking out at the starry lights of the busy New York City. The streets were brimming with life, and the sounds were deafening as always. The horns of the cars, the screeches of the brakes, the low hum of people talking, they were all just the same as they had been two hundred years ago.

Strange how everything had changed and remained unchanged at the same time.

Magnus cradled his half filled wine glass lovingly. Once upon a time he would have done that to Alec's face, and would have pressed a kiss to his forehead. But now Alec was gone.

He looked down at the letter on the table. He wanted to read it, and throw it away, both at the same time. Magnus closed his eyes, feeling the familiar prickling behind his eyes. He bit his lip hard, almost drawing blood.

Did he have the courage to read the last letter Alec had left him?

Before Alec had died, he'd given Magnus a huge bundle of letters. He'd been on his deathbed at the time, the Brothers having declared that there was nothing they could do to save Alec's life. Alec had smiled at Magnus, and had told him to open the second drawer of his bedside cabinet. Once Magnus had discovered the letters there, Alec had whispered that he hoped the letters to help. And then he had closed his beautiful blue eyes forever, leaving Magnus with a bundle of letters and a lifetime of wonderful memories.

He'd gone, leaving Magnus to grieve for eternity.

Magnus's throat burned, and he inhaled sharply. Alec's death still hurt like a sword stabbed through his heart.

He'd read the first letter, the one with the simple sentence on the envelope saying when you miss me.

He had been missing Alec so much that he had been almost suffocating with the pain. His heart had been aching, as if someone was twisting the invisible knife in his chest. He was almost gasping for breath and he wanted nothing more than to die, to end this numbing pain.

And then he'd read Alec's letter.

" My dear,

My own Magnus, " it had read, "This letter is for you when you miss me. Miss me dreadfully.

Your heart must be wrenching with pain, and it must be difficult for you to breathe. The pain must be intense, and you'd surely be wanting to die, and just end everything. That's what I felt when Jace died.

But, Magnus, I haven't left you. I'm still here, I'm still here with you. And do you know how you could see me? Close your eyes, Magnus, and whisper my name. You'll see me then. Because you see, I didn’t leave you. I'm still alive, in your heart, and in all the memories we made together. "

At the end of the letter Magnus had sobbed his heart out, clutching the letter so hard that it had ripped in half. His heart felt as if it had splintered into a million smithereens.

But he had felt a little better. The ache of not seeing Alec would never go away, but it had lessened. Enough for him to go on living at least.

And the letters had helped. Alec had written one for every occasion.

He'd written one for when Magnus is so angry he wanted to burn the world down. A letter filled with the soothing love which always made Magnus calm down. Magnus thought he heard Alec's soft voice when he read it, easing his boiling anger, just how a lullaby would comfort a toddler.

Alec had written one for when he is so sad that he couldn’t function. When he fell into a black hole and couldn’t find his way out at all. Alec's letter cheered him just the way Alec had always did. How he always reminded him that there were always good things in this world.

And there was another letter. A letter full of reassurance when Magnus depreciated himself, hated everything about his existence. Hated his demon eyes, hated his magic, and felt that no one could ever love a filthy Downworlder like him. Alec swept those misgivings away with his loving and caring letter, just like he'd done when he had been alive.

Another one for the time he'd first smiled after Alec's death. He'd seeked comfort in Alec's letter after feeling unbelievably guilty for enjoying something without Alec. For being happy without his Alec. Being happy after the man he loved died. Alec's letter filled with joy and laughter lighted up Magnus's bleak life.

And so the letters had gone on.

Magnus had read them over the past two centuries, reminding himself again and again as to why he'd fallen in love with the blue eyed Shadowhunter.

But when he'd woken up that morning, he had closed his eyes, and had tried to imagine his Alec, he hadn't been able to. He still lived in his heart, but the image wasn't clear. It was hazy, a sort of warm feeling you keep close to your heart. You remember the gist, but the fine details have faded.

Magnus remembered how Alec had laughed when he was with Jace and Isabelle, but he couldn’t clearly recall how deep his laugh was. He knew Alec smelled wonderful, but what he exactly smelled like, he couldn’t bring to memory. He knew he loved the way Alec kissed him, but he couldn’t remember exactly how Alec did so. Whether he leaned in first, or stroked a thumb across his cheek first. He knew Alec tasted sweet, but like what, he didn’t remember.

And he knew Alec had the bluest eyes possible, bluer than the ocean, than the sky, and even more than his magic, but Magnus couldn’t remember the exact shade.

He had sat on his bed, shocked and shaken to the core, scared that if he would forget these details, small ones, yes, but the ones which made Alec, well, Alec, he'd forget something else. Something important. And, this hurt him more than anything, that Alec would finally fade into a distant memory, a warm and welcome one he'd think only on his hard days.

And Alec, his dear sweet Alec, he knew that this would happen eventually. So he'd left a letter, his very last letter addressed with a simple when you forget the exact shade of my eyes.

Magnus had never really believed that he'd forget Alec's eyes. Their exact colour and shape. He had believed himself to have a better memory, that he'd remember those gems which had attracted him to Alec in the first place. But he'd forgotten. It had taken him two hundred years, but yes. He'd forgotten.

Taking a deep breathe, Magnus took the letter with shaking hands. He ran a light finger over the cursive writing on the envelope, reliving the way Alec looped his ys with a sad smile. He tore open the envelope and pulled the letter out, a much bigger one than the others, and began to read it.

Magnus had expected it to be a letter with sad reproachings. But he was wrong, of course he was wrong. How could he have thought that his Alec would ever even think of hurting him?

Alec's letter was filled with joy, happiness and warmth, just like him. Magnus felt his lips tugging into a teary smile seeing the pictures Alec had enclosed in his letter. The first one they'd taken together as a couple. Alec was clutching Magnus's hand with a determined smile, a glint in those blue eyes of his, challenging anyone who'd dare say anything against him. Magnus had been incredibly proud of Alec, his boyfriend for standing up against all the prejudices of the Nephilium.

The next picture was the one they'd taken in India. The one where Magnus had worn a saree. Alec had laughed so hard that tears had escaped from his eyes. He had looked at Magnus, his blue eyes crinkled and his mouth open in a little gasp. He had looked absolutely stunning, and for the first time in centuries Magnus had felt his heart skip a beat. And that had been the moment he had realised that there was no going back. He'd fallen for this man so hard that he hadn't realised it until he hit rock bottom.

Magnus choked back a sob when he looked at the picture of them cuddling Max together. Alec was holding him close to his chest, caring for their most precious treasure. Max was smiling up at Alec, waving his tiny blue arms. Alec's eyes were filled with the warmth and wonder at seeing Max, their Max, their baby smile at him.

And then all that was left was the last picture. With trembling hands Magnus picked it up and stared at it.

It was a picture of their wedding.

Underneath it, Alec had written one small sentence.

The happiest day of my life.

Magnus stared at it until he couldn’t see clearly, making him realise that tears were flowing from his eyes.

Alec.

His husband Alec.

Magnus remembered how nervous Alec had been when he'd proposed to him. He had twisted and turned his hands so much that Magnus had been afraid of him actually breaking a bone. He'd bitten his lip, drawing blood, and had let out a series of shaky breaths.

But when he'd finally pushed the question forward, Magnus had searched Alec's eyes, and those blue orbs had shone with nothing but certainty and conviction.

It had taken Magnus less than a second to say yes.

And the wedding, Magnus looked at the picture, looking at how handsome Alec was, wearing a black tuxedo with gold and blue lining. Gold to symbolise Nephilium, and blue for Magnus's warlock lineage.

The wedding of the century, they'd called it. The union of a Nephilium and a Downworlder, of an Angel and Demon, but above all, the union of two souls who loved each other with all their hearts.

As a tear slipped down his cheek, Magnus read the last part of Alec's letter.

And one day, again, you'll fall for someone else. Love someone with that beautiful heart of yours. And that should happen, Magnus. For you're an extraordinary man, and it has always been my greatest privilege and joy to love and to be loved by a man like you. The best gift Raziel ever bestowed on me.

And when you fall for someone else, love another, give them your entire heart. Fall in love again, and again, and never close of your heart.

Don't fear betraying me, love, and never think our story will be forgotten. It shall forever be written in the stars, and most importantly your heart.

I'm happy to have been part of your life, Magnus.

Tear drops decorated the letter when Magnus finished reading. Drawing a trembling breathe in, he collected all the letters Alec had ever left him, and cuddled them to his chest, pretending that it was Alec he was holding close to him. And in a way, he was. Alec had poured his entire soul into those letter.

Of course their story would forever be remembered. Even when Alec faded into a distant memory, a warm yet unreachable one, he'd live forever in Magnus's heart.

After all, how could he forget the man who taught him to love again?

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My first ever fanfic! Wrote this when I was obsessed with Malec. Just some thoughts of Magnus after Alec's death. :)

#malec fanfic #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #shadowhunters #cassandra clare #wrote this cause i wanted to be sad #mialovesbl #angst #character death #sad #fanfic #ao3

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henrywinterswhore · 2 years

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you can't convince me that Jace Herondale is not what people on wattpad want Harry Styles to be

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nosfelixculpa · 2 years

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top 6 most malec kisses to ever

#creations #gifs #tv #shadowhunters #sh #malec #lgbtq+#magnus bane #alec lightwood #harry shum jr #matt daddario #listen there were like 2 more that were so close #3x18 break up angst kiss and ALSO 3x22 wedding invitation kiss but these r the MAIN formative ones #the lapel grab is still so;; SO iconic #the lighting on some of these tho freeform why #they r lucky that the VIBES r still enough THE VIBES

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onetimetwotimesthreetimess · 11 months

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Hello! For the prompt thing can you write something fluffy about malec and the kids when they went to st barth's in SoBH. I know you have a fic and I love it and I want more of that softness

When The Stars Go Blue is my first ever fic and if it hadn't been that, I would have never discovered my love for writing tbh.

I tried writing the prompt that you asked for but WTSGB seemed complete to me, so instead of that, I wrote a one-shot on a small vacation LB's went to after Mina gets kidnapped (and found) in SOBH.

______________________________________________________________

“If someone interrupts our vacation this time, I am filing for divorce,” Alec mutters as he unpacks his bag.

Magnus being Magnus, unpacked his with the flick of a finger an hour ago. Alec likes to do a few tasks on his own, and so does he wants for the boys which is why he made Rafael and Max unpack their own, glaring at Magnus when he was about to snap his finger.

“On what grounds?” Magnus raises an eyebrow.

“On grounds that my husband is too kind and is always ready to help others,” Alec says seriously.

Magnus chuckles softly, “Those are not valid reasons for divorce.”

“I changed the law for you once. I can do it again,” Alec comments as he places the last of his weapons inside the cupboard.

Strong arms snake around his waist and Alec smiles, leaning against the lithe body. Magnus kisses his neck, making him sigh softly.

“What happened to ‘You wouldn't be the person I fell in love with if you didn't drop everything to help other people’, huh?” Magnus whispers in his ears.

Alec rolls his eyes and turns in Magnus’s arms, “I can stand by it and still be a petty bitch about it.”

The warlock snorts at the words as Alec wraps his arms around his neck. Magnus smiles at him sweetly and asks, “How are you doing, sweetheart?”

He pauses until he hears a loud bang from outside, signalling that Max and Rafael are up to something before replying, “I’m okay. You?”

“I just need them close to me for a few days,” Magnus admits and Alec nods because he gets it—he feels it too.

The need to have Rafe and Max close to them at all times after the Mina incident.

Alec cannot imagine what Jem and Tessa must have gone through when Mina was missing because just the thought of his kids missing has shaken the two of them, which is why, now that Mina is back, Alec took a few days off to be close to his family--away from the shadow world.

“Me too,” Alec whispers against his mouth before closing the distance.

It's a few hours later, he stretches his back slightly, even though what he really wants is to shake his legs which have gone numb because Rafael’s been sitting on them but Alec doesn’t want to move the boy. He can deal with numb legs for his kid.

“Daddy, pick a card,” Rafe whines as Alec keeps pretending to pick a card, only to stick out his tongue to Rafael in the end, who has been trying to show Alec his magic tricks for the past thirty minutes.

“Alright, alright. I will pick out a card,” he picks out a card and hands it to Rafe, who bites his lips as a thoughtful expression covers his face.

“What’s happening here?” Magnus enters the room with Max on top of his shoulders, making weird noises just because he can.

“I am doing magic, Bapak,” Rafael explains. “Like you.”

“Are you as magical as Bapak?” Alec gives Magnus a teasing smile as he asks the question and his husband rolls his eyes with affection.

“No one is as magical as Bapak,” Max comments as he jumps from Magnus’s shoulder onto the couch and Alec’s heart skips as the warlock boy stumbles a little but Magnus catches him easily, rolling him onto the couch, making him giggle.

“Max, careful.”

Magnus tickles Max and the boy lets out a screech, yelling for Alec.

“Daddy, Daddy!!!” Max shouts and jumps on Alec, who groans loudly.

“You two are going to kill me,” He groans. “I’m old.

“You are not even thirty,” Magnus rolls his eyes before a teasing smirk appears on his face and he bends down to whisper close to his husband’s face, “Maybe we should have used a stamina rune this morning.”

Alec’s cheeks turn red and he glares at his husband. “Magnus!”.

“Bapak stop trying to kiss daddy, I am showing him my magic trick,” Rafe reprimands.

Magnus scoffs indignantly, “He was flirting with me first.”

“Daddy is always doing that,” Rafe replies.

Alec just shrugs his shoulder because it's true—he’s always trying to flirt with Magnus.

“Okay, now tell me, what card did I pick?” Alec questioning Rafe seriously.

Rafael hums thoughtfully before he exchanges a look with Magnus. Then, he picks out a card and shows it to Alec.

Eight of spades.

“This.”

Alec chuckles inwardly but pretends to widen his eyes in surprise, “Rafe! How did you do that?”

Rafe’s face lights up and his smile widens, “I can do magic.”

“Rafe can’t do magic,” Max remarks.

“I can. Bapak taught me.”

Alec can see a fight coming from ten miles away so he pulls the brake on it, “Okay, okay. If Rafe says he can do magic, then he can do magic.”

“Like I be a shadowhunter?”

Alec and Magnus exchange a look before nodding, “Yeah. Just like that.”

“Alright, it’s time to for you two monsters to go to bed.”

Rafe and Max might not agree to anything but they both are on the same page when it comes to hating bedtimes.

They groan some more and Alec as usual relents, letting them stay up for another half an hour before eventually putting them to bed.

“So, is it time to use the stamina rune?” Magnus smirks as they get done with the second round, Alec falling onto his chest with a groan.

Alec grins at the words. “I don’t need the stamina rune. I can do this all night,” he says as he bites Magnus’s shoulder, pulling a soft gasp out of him.

“Really now?” Magnus has a mischievous smile on his face. “Let’s do it then.”

He arches a brow at his husband before relenting, “Okay. I might need a stamina rune.”

“I thought so,” Magnus chuckles as he kisses his sweaty hair.

Alec rolls his eyes, turning his so that Magnus can wrap him from behind, pulling him close against his chest. “As if you could have gone another round without some magic.”

“Stamina rune should be considered cheating,” Magnus comments.

“Says the man who is raising our son to be a cheater,” Alec points out. “You think I didn’t see that magic trick of yours.”

“I know you did. And I’m not raising him to be a cheater, I’m raising Rafael to be a con-man,” Magnus jokes lightly.

“Oh. That’s fine then,” Alec chuckles. “Con-man works.”

Magnus snorts and kisses Alec’s lips before snapping his fingers to get them clothed—perks of having children is that they do not have the luxury of sleeping naked.

He threads his fingers with Magnus’s on his stomach and they fall asleep wrapped around each other.

A few hours later, there’s a gentle touch on his shoulder that shakes him from his sleep. Alec runs his eyes gently to find his son looking scared.

“Rafe?”

“Daddy—“

Rafe’s teary-eyed which immediately shakes him out of his sleep.

“Hey, my baby. What’s going on?” Alec asks in the gentlest of voice as he shifts backwards so that Rafe can climb onto the bed with them.

Magnus rouses from his sleep as well and they both try to calm him down.

“Bapak—“ Rafe cries and Alec picks up and places their son between the two of them.

Rafe clutches onto his sweater and sobs against his chest, breaking Alec’s heart a little. He sends a worrying glance across Magnus.

The shadowhunter boy has a history of nightmares and they’re used to it but they happen significantly less now. It’s been a while since he had one.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Magnus whispers in the quiet room.

Rafael hiccups but eventually looks up into his eyes.

“Who took Mina?”

Alec’s eyes widen at the question.

“Rafe—“

“Did you find them?” Rafael asks before turning to Magnus. “Bapak?”

“We don’t know,” Alec replies honestly because Rafael knows more about things than most kids and he doesn't like lying to his son ever.

Rafael looks down with a worried face before hiding his face against Alec’s chest again. Alec cards his fingers through Rafael’s hair in worry.

“Mina is fine now, Rafe. She’s back home with aunt Tessa and uncle Jem and Kit,” Magnus says in a soothing voice. “Is that what you were worried about, love?”

Rafael hesitates before replying, “What if they take me next? Away from you?”

Alec feels a pit deep inside his stomach at the question. It’s a worry that has been plaguing his own mind since Mina’s incident.

To see his baby worried about that makes his heart hurt even more.

He looks up at Magnus in question, hoping for an answer.

Alec sits up and takes Rafael in his arms and Magnus shifts closer to them, a hand around Alec’s back and the other on Rafael’s.

“No one is going to take you away from us, Rafe. We won’t let them,” Alec assures him with utmost sincerity.

Rafe doesn’t look fully satisfied. “What if they still do? I don’t want to be away from you,” he admits in a shy voice.

Magnus brushes Rafe’s hair behind his ears and smiles at him. He takes Rafael’s small hand in his and kisses it softly, “If that ever happens, remember that daddy found you once. He can do it again.”

Alec blushes at the words, at the deep love he feels for the man.

“Rafe, look what I made—“ Max comes running inside their room and jumps on the bed.

“Blueberry, why are you up this late?” Magnus asks the small boy, who doesn’t seem sleepy in the slightest.

“Rafe had a nightmare. So, I made him this,” Max answers.

“Made what?”

Max pushes his hands together, as deep blue magic circles around his hand and a few seconds later, a small blue butterfly appears.

Rafael’s eyes widen as he sees this and a huge grin appears on his face.

“That is wonderful, Blueberry,” Magnus states and kisses the top of Max’s head.

Max pauses for a second before turning to Rafael. “Did Bapak and Daddy made it better?”

Rafael glances at the two of them before nodding.

Alec smiles before placing a soft kiss on Rafael’s nose.

“Come on. Time to sleep or we’re sending you two to stay with Grandma for the rest of the trip.”

“NOOOO.”

#i hope you like it <3 #and i love these soft bitches so much why am i writing so much angst these days lol?#magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec #WTSGB #rafael lightwood bane #max lightwood bane

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kasper-tag · 8 months

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✨It's time for a sneak peek of my new fic!✨

Title: Meow and Forever

Pairing: Malec

Rating: Mature

No archive warnings apply

Word Count: 3,000+ (still writing and editing)

About: post-canon, magical accidents, cats, fluff, comedy, immortality, soft malec

First chapter coming soon! 🖤

#animalec fest 2023 #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #shadowhunters #fanfiction #ao3 author #prompt: Day 23 - Lost #it's gonna be light and silly and sappy and funny #minimal angst #Alec will panic a bit but kitty snuggles help 😉#sneak peek #snippet #meow and forever

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soulofapatrick · 1 month

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Safe in your Arms - Alec Lightwood x female reader

Summary: You can’t sleep so you slip into bed with Alec

Words: 1.7K

Warnings: none really

Notes: This is written from female pov (my pov) however can be read as gender neutral so will put this story in both male and female reader

Y/N’s POV

The darkness presses in around me, suffocating and heavy. Another sleepless night grips me tightly, refusing to release its hold. With a sigh, I rise from the bed, the covers slipping off my like unwanted shackles.

Padding down the familiar corridors of the Institute, my footsteps echo softly against the stone floors. The hushed whispers of the night greet me, a comforting presence in the solitude. Each door I pass I hesitate, unsure who I’m looking for comfort in.

I barely pause outside Clary’s room as we’ve never seen eye to eye so I continue on, finding myself outside Izzy’s door. The familiar, faint scent of jasmine wafting though the air. She's always been a source of strength and support, but tonight, the idea of seeking refuge in her embrace feels somehow... wrong, too intimate. I can't quite put my finger on it, but something holds me back, a silent voice urging me to continue my search elsewhere.

Jace’s door looms ahead, a silent invitation beckoning me to seek shelter within his presence. For a moment, I hesitate, my hand hovering over the door handle as memories of shared laughter and whispered secrets flood my mind. But then, with a heavy sigh, I pull away, the weight of unspoken truths pressing down upon me like a leaden cloak.

My fingers ghost over Simon's door, the thought of seeking solace in his company tempting yet ultimately unfulfilling. We may share a bond forged in battle, but there's a divide between us that I can't seem to breach. With a sigh, I move on, the ache of loneliness gnawing at my heart with each passing moment.

And then, finally, I find myself standing outside Alec’s room, the door a silent barrier between me and the solace I seek. With a hesitant hand, I push the door open, the soft creak of hinges breaking the silence like a whisper in the night.

Inside, the room is bathed in a gentle glow, the moonlight filtering through the curtains casting shadows across the floor. Alec lies asleep, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. For a moment, I simply stand there, drinking in the sight of him. Gone is the usual tension that seems to etch lines into his features during the waking hours. Instead, his face is softened by slumber, his expression serene and unguarded. The furrow of his brow, which often accompanies his deep concentration or stern demeanour, is smoothed away, replaced by an air of tranquility.

A small smile graces his lips, a sight so rare it’s almost surreal. It’s a stark contrast to the usual scowl that seems to be his default expression during the day. In this moment of vulnerability, his true essence shines through, a gentle warmth that draws me in like a moth to a flame.

I find myself captivated by the peacefulness that radiates from him, the subtle rise and fall of his chest a soothing rhythm that lulls me into a sense of calm. It's as if all the worries and burdens of the world have been momentarily lifted from his shoulders, leaving behind only the purest essence of who he is.

In this moment, Alec is not the fierce warrior or the stoic leader. He is simply Alec, vulnerable and human, a reminder that even the strongest among us need rest and respite from the battles we face.

And as I gaze upon him, a small smile tugs at the corners of my own lips, mirroring the one that graces his face. I hesitate for a moment, my heart pounding in my chest, before I gently lift the duvet and slide into the bed beside Alec. The rustling of the sheets stir him from his slumber, his eyelids fluttering open blearily as he tries to make sense of the intrusion.

“Wha—?" His voice is thick with sleep, the words trailing off into a soft murmur as he blinks owlishly at me. Confusion dances in the depths of his eyes, but there's also a hint of warmth, a flicker of recognition that warms my soul.

“What are you doing Birdie?" he mumbles, his words barely audible in the stillness of the room., the nickname he’s given me sending a shiver down my spine. Despite the grogginess that clouds his mind, there's a note of curiosity in his voice, a silent question hanging in the air between us.

"I couldn't sleep," I confess quietly, my voice barely more than a whisper. "And... I needed to be near you.”

Alec’s expression softens at my words, a silent understanding passing between us. Without a word, he shifts around in the bed, making room for me to settle beside him. The duvet envelops us both in its warmth as we find our positions, his body fitting against mine like two puzzle pieces finally coming together.

We settle into our newfound arrangement, a sense of peace washes over me, a warmth that seeps into my bones and drives away the chill of the night. In Alec's arms, I find sanctuary from the storms that rage within me, a refuge from the chaos of the world outside. And as sleep begins to claim me once more, I find solace in the knowledge that, for tonight at least, I am not alone.

As the first rays of dawn filter through the curtains, I gradually awaken from the depths of sleep, the heaviness of slumber clinging to my limbs like a comforting embrace. The warmth of Alec's presence envelops me, his arm draped protectively over my waist, anchoring me to the present moment.

I can feel the weight of his body pressed against mine, a comforting solidity that grounds me in reality. His unruly black hair tickles my cheek, a stark contrast to the softness of his lips pressed against my shoulder where my shirt has slipped slightly.

Alec emits a soft snuffle in his sleep as I gently begin to scratch his scalp, the motion soothing both him and me. His breath is warm against my skin, a gentle rhythm that lulls me back into a state of tranquility.

He shuffles around as he begins to slowly slip from sleep, his brilliant blue eyes fluttering open, revealing a sleep-ridden expression that tugs at my heartstrings. There’s a softness in his gaze, a vulnerability that I've rarely seen in him before. And as his eyes meet mine, a flicker of recognition dances in their depths, as if he's just now realizing that I'm here, lying beside him.

For a moment, we simply stare at each other, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy in the air between us. And then, slowly but surely, a small smile tugs at the corners of Alec's lips, a gesture so tender and genuine that it sends my heart soaring.

Alec brushes the hair out of my face, his touch gentle, his fingers singing against my skin as if committing the moment to memory. I can feel the intensity of his gaze as he studies my face, his eyes searching for something, perhaps an answer to the question that lingers between us.

And then, without warning, he moves forward, his face hovering just inches from mine. My breath catches in my throat as anticipation coils within me, every nerve in my body on edge with anticipation.

And then, finally, his lips crash against mine in a kiss that sends shockwaves coursing through my veins. It’s everything I've ever imagined and more, his lips soft and plump against mine, fitting together with a perfect symmetry that feels like coming home. He rolls us from our sides so he’s leaving over me, his weight above me feeling right, perfect almost, as if we were always meant to be in this position.

His kisses are a revelation, each one tasting of warmth and longing, a tantalising blend of sweetness and desire that leaves me breathless. I can feel the heat of his body pressing against mine, his warmth seeping into my skin and sending shivers racing down my spine.

With every touch, every caress, I lose myself in the sensation of him, the feel of his lips against mine, the brush of his fingers against my skin. He smells of sandalwood and strawberries, a heady combination that fills my senses and leaves me intoxicated with desire.

In this moment, with Alec pressed against me, every nerve in my body tingles with anticipation. It's as if the world around us fades away, leaving only the two of us in our own little universe, bound together by the intensity of our connection.

But, just as our passion threatens to consume us, a quiet knock at the bedroom door shatters the fragile bubble we've created. Alec lets out a quiet groan, his head falling to my shoulder in frustration before he clears his throat and calls out, "One second!”

As he climbs out of the bed to open the door slightly, I sit up, the sheets rustling around me, betraying the fact that Alec's not alone. My heart races with a mixture of excitement and apprehension, unsure of what awaits us on the other side of that door.

And then, as Alec peers out into the hallway, his expression unreadable, I catch a glimpse of blond meaning it’s Jace standing in the corridor, his presence casting a shadow over our moment of intimacy. With a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, I realise that our time alone together may be coming to an abrupt end.

Alec hisses something to Jace before closing the door and turning back to me, his eyes raking up my body, blue eyes darkening before he’s shaking his head and asking, “Breakfast?”

“Clothes then breakfast?”

“You can wear some of mine, then breakfast.”

“Deal.”

The Shadowhunters Masterlist TAG LIST - updated 21st Dec 2023

#Alec Lightwood #Alec Lightwood fluff #Alec Lightwood smut #Alec Lightwood angst #tmi #the mortal instruments one shots #the mortal instruments #Alec Lightwood x reader #Alec Lightwood x you #Alec Lightwood x y/n #Matthew daddario #shadowhunters #alec lightwood imagines #Alec Lightwood x male reader #Alec Lightwood x gender neutral reader #Alec Lightwood x

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alexanderlightweight · 1 year

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Malec prompt idea - misunderstanding angst. Probably Magnus thinking Alec is still in love with Jace

Thank you for the prompt! This is angst. There’s some recklessness. Mentions of canon typical: violence, self-harm, and canonical death and events. I hope you like it

—

Magnus loathes Jace with the fervor of a dying realm, and yet Alexander never seems to notice.

When Magnus is returned — has torn himself from Edom — he tries to stifle his instincts, but he fails.

But Alexander never pushes. He stays quiet, but steadfast in encouraging the trust that Magnus also inspires.

It’s hard, sometimes, interpreting the depth of Alexander’s emotions. And often, Magnus wants to ask, but also doesn’t want to hear the answer.

The fallout comes — though he doesn’t know it— when Jace is injured, again.

He’s been increasingly more reckless ever since Clary lost her memories and left, and it’s shown in how often Jace ends up in the infirmary.

Magnus has had a very, very long week and an even longer day and so as he steels himself to become exhausted in his efforts, he wonders bitterly, just who Alec loves more.

He feels both selfish and hollow, because Alexander came to Edom for Magnus, but the part that Camille tore out of him never healed. And it festers and is more painful every time Magnus lets himself wonder just how much his husband loves him.

Magnus reaches out a hand, magic beginning to gather and the magic dissipates as familiar fingers thread through his own.

Alexander is looking up at him, tired, but clearly relieved to see him. The bitterness Magnus feels is both confused and taunted and Magnus swallows down the whirlwind of emotions inside him.

Because Alexander almost looks worse than Jace, who is hooked up to so many tubes and IV’s and is a battered mess of bandages and bruises.

“I need you to do something for me.” Alec says softly, and Magnus sighs internally, but his hand is gentle as he cups Alexander’s face.

“Whatever you need.” Magnus murmurs and hopes he has the strength to follow through.

To his confusion, Alexander doesn’t seem pleased by his promise. If anything he looks more devastated.

“I, Magnus you can— no, okay,” Alec pauses. He swallows heavily and closes his eyes before opening them. His gaze is locked in on Magnus’. “I need you to portal us both back to the loft. Right now. And I need you not to ask questions until you’re done.”

Magnus is, quite frankly, both shocked and a little unnerved. But he pulls himself together and before anything else can surprise him, has them both in the loft. Magnus wanted to take them to their bed, but something tells him this is not a conversation to have in bed.

“What’s going on? Do you need me to go back to heal Jace?” Because Alexander looks like he’s about to break apart and Magnus sits in confusion as Alexander shakes his head.

“He’s healing and has been adequately treated. I called you after he was looked over by a Silent Brother.”

Magnus blinks in surprised confusion and Alexander makes a pained noise as he kneels in front of Magnus rather than sit next to him.

“You called me after Jace was treated?” Magnus doesn’t know why he feels so confused, but he is.

Alexander leans his head on Magnus' knee and plays with the rings on Magnus' hand.

“You know how to heal, but it’s not something your magic specializes in. I knew it exhausted you, but I didn’t realize it was because your magic specializes in other things until I read that baby warlock book to Madzie. If we wanted an emergency healer, we should have been petitioning Catarina and found a backup healer as well. Not that you haven’t done perfectly every time you were called.”

Something inside of him preens a little at the praise. Especially because Alexander is correct, and even though Magnus can heal, the bloodline of Asmodeus was never meant to soothe wounds, only to create them.

Not that Magnus has ever let his father’s legacy stop himself from succeeding the impossible.

“Magnus, you are my husband. You are Jace and Izzy’s brother by bonding. You are the partner of the highest ranked shadowhunter in New York. You are not my siblings or the Institute's personal warlock liaison. And you’re not Jace's personal healer, especially when he’s being so reckless on purpose. That you even deign to heal us is a gift.”

Magnus feels something in him crack open, the things he’s been burying — trying so hard not to upset the balance in the life he and Alexander are building together— flooding out.

Alexander is still talking, so sweetly. Earnest as he holds Magnus hands and Magnus, Magnus loves him so dearly and for once Magnus doesn’t feel like he doesn’t know who Alexander loves more.

“And, and even we really did need you. We would pay both an advanced healing fee and an emergency priority fee! As we should have been doing this entire time.” Alexander heaves in an unsteady, shaky breath and then continues.

“Magnus, do you have any idea how shocked I was when I asked Underhill if our budget for your services needed to be raised and he said there wasn’t one anymore! That it hadn’t been used since you crashed that stupid wedding so eventually they wrote it off!”

Alexander sounds heartbroken and quite frankly, Magnus is both too stunned to soothe him and some hidden part of himself needs to hear this. Magnus needs to hear how upset Alexander is on his behalf, and Magnus knows he deserves to.

“I thought.” And Magnus realizes he doesn’t actually know what he thought. He was so busy chasing Alexander while trying to still protect himself and also trying to figure out how to keep his people alive in back to back terrorism and wars.

“I couldn’t handle losing you.” Magnus finally admits, “and after I drove you away. I became that much more desperate to keep close to you.” Magnus takes a deep breath and then admits, “it’s why I broke so badly when you left me.”

Alexander lets out a wounded noise and kisses Magnus’ knuckles in fervent apology. Magnus is never happy that Alexander is in pain, but it soothes him every time he’s given proof that Alexander broke both their hearts that awful, awful night.

“In my rather ardent courtship of you, I didn’t really focus on anything but using any opportunity to see you. If it meant doing a little work pro-bono—“ and Magnus can’t help the cheeky wink he sends Alexander. It gets him a flustered huff and a pouting glare that disappears as Alexander kisses Magnus knuckles again. “Well, for me your company and well-being has always been my payment. And I considered it time and energy well spent.”

“Like I wasn’t constantly asking for you to come by for the same reason.” His Alexander mutters quietly. Magnus watches red trails up Alexander’s neck and ears and realizes in delight that his shadowhunter is embarrassed.

It’s adorable.

Magnus holds back a delighted titter because that will only pull Alexander into himself. And Magnus is enjoying this sudden honesty and introspection.

Alexander gives Magnus an almost snotty look — the same way he looked when he used to quote “the law is hard but it’s the law”— and continues with, “the difference is that I thought you were being paid at the same time. I didn’t realize the Clave was trying to extort you by pimping me out.”

Magnus can’t help the delighted and shocked laugh he lets out.

Alexander once complained to Magnus about how uncivilized the streets of mundane New York are. Apparently all shadowhunters are meant to have a crash course in the city they're stationed in, so as Head and Commander of the Institute, Alexander had to do research. Which meant finding out about pimps and mundane sex workers.

Before that, Alexander had only ever known about the Seelie, vampire and warlock pleasure houses. Which are completely different and in Alexander’s words at the time, “on an entirely different moral and ethical standard compared to mundanes.”

Every time Alexander and Cat have a little too much wine, they both start disparaging the mundane system and lament how much better it would be if mundanes treated pleasure and sex specialists with the respect they deserved.

So to hear Alexander so frustrated as to compare the situation with the Clave as similar to mundane pimps, was hilarious.

Alexander is smiling at him when Magnus finally gets a hold of himself. But there’s something sad under his smile and Magnus widens his legs and hooks his calves around Alexander’s back, pulling him closer.

“My heart, what’s wrong?”

“I want you to value yourself as much as I do, but then I found out about these things and I realized maybe you don’t know how much you mean to me.”

Magnus’ heart stutters in his chest.

“Alexander.” Is all he can murmur, breathless at the depth of Alexander’s words.

“When Jocelyn died. When I stood there and watched Clary grieve and thought that I’d murdered Jace’s mother. My orphaned parabatai who was given hope and I stole that, orphaning him again. When I could still feel her blood on my hand and the beat of her heart in my palm as we released her soul to Raziel. I didn’t pray to Raziel. I prayed to you.”

Alexander gives a bitter little chuckle and presses harder against where he’s cradled by Magnus’ legs.

“I didn’t even realize it at first. And it’s not an excuse. But it didn’t occur to me how much it could cost you to go to Edom. Because I didn’t think you would risk yourself so greatly, when I needed and wanted you so much.”

Magnus lets the confession rest between the two of them and then he greedily accepts it. Presses Alexander’s words to the still raw bits of himself that never fully healed when he went to Edom… because of Jace, but for Alexander.

“Jace is a part of my soul, Magnus, but he’s not the one who soothes and heals it. And a lot of the time he’s even the one who hurts it. So please, please say no. For yourself, and also for me. Because I’m too selfish, Magnus and we’ve both already given up too much. I lost you because I wasn’t selfish enough, and I never want to make that mistake again.”

Magnus knows how to set boundaries. He just didn’t… because he wanted too much to risk it by being careful.

Letting Alexander in, letting himself fall for a shadowhunter, it’s been the most painful but also the most rewarding, but from the moment Magnus let himself want; it has always been a risk.

But it’s always been a risk that Magnus felt was worth it.

“There is no one among my people that I can guarantee will prioritize both of our wellbeing. Not even in my family. I hate seeing you tired and when you’re in pain, I feel my soul aching, even worse than when I share Jace’s injuries.”

“Part of the reason I’ve never declined healing him, is because I don’t want you in pain.” Magnus tells his husband and he’s given a sad, weary but understanding smile.

“I know. But Jace isn’t going to stop. And I can’t keep letting him manipulate us both into lessening the consequences. I doubt he’s doing it consciously. But either way it’s not helping anyone.” Alexander takes a deep, steadying breath and murmurs. “I blocked our connection through the rune. I won’t feel his pain, and he’ll still heal, just slower than when you healed him.”

Magnus is more than shocked. “I thought you never wanted to block or numb the bond after the… last time.”

Alexander shrugs, a small gesture for the impact of his next words.

“This is hurting you. That’s more important.”

And Magnus. Magnus can’t take it and pulls Alexander up. His husband gasps in surprise and Magnus claims his mouth with a searing kiss.

They can finish the conversation later. Magnus and undoubtedly Alexander will both ensure it. It’s too important to not continue. But what’s also important is Magnus not spending another second not kissing Alexander.

Because Magnus knows now just how important he is to his husband, and he’s never felt more loved, or more powerful.

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