#2) The only one i didn’t do was because it was literally an overwhelming amount of clothes. The entire fucking laundry room is filled to the

[ihearnocomplaints]

I point you all to my ko-fi page once more -> link

my parents, enraged that I didn’t sort a massive mound of clothes yesterday (after doing the other chores they asked), essentially decided they are going to start charging me rent.

So this is just in preparation for that moment when they do start asking. I’m still trying to save up to move out. It’s not a huge deal yet (idk how much they’re going to charge) so there’s no pressure to donate.

I work a full time job so I can’t really give much in return. But I can take doodle requests upon proof of donation! I’ll doodle any DCA you want.

Thanks.

#Idk what to tag this #i’m just so tired. #i’m just tired of my parents putting so much pressure on me #like 1) I did the chores they asked of me #2) The only one i didn’t do was because it was literally an overwhelming amount of clothes. The entire fucking laundry room is filled to the #brim with clothes. Literally you cannot walk in there without strpping on some #that’s 6 people’s clothes. Not even most of mine because I actually do my own laundry. other than the ones that get mixed in with the others #and they wanted me sort them. by myself. #I’m autistic and a massiver germaphobe and they wanted me to sort their grimey fucking clothes. #And when I don’t do it? call me useless and lazy #and then i fel insane because maybe i am just lazy and i should do more because they let me live here for free #sometimes i feel in the wrong. maybe i am in the wrong. maybe i should just suck it up and deal with it instead of complaining #I don’t know. I’m scared. I’m so scared #I don’t have anything to fall back on. I don’t have my own car. I have nothing.

[mayakern]

I am being nosy. Right now Minis skirts are retired/ on hold due to business things. I am just morbidly curious about the 'extra logistics this entails' and if that is something on the horizon (6-12 months) or like a 5 year plan. I also don't totally understand the difference in your new manufacturer. I think the fabric will be more detailed with the new manu? Thank you in advance!

so, miniskirts were retired for 2 main reasons:

1. when you sells two products with minimal differences (i.e. two different lengths of the same skirt design, two of the same style of shirt with different sleeve lengths, etc) it doubles the amount of variations you have to account for in inventory without necessarily doubling sales. some people are only interested in either mini or midi skirts, but a lot of people are happy with either, and for us midi skirts were more popular ever since we introduced them and by the end made up about 60-70% of our skirt sales.

2. our old manufacturer fucked up really, really bad. in march 2021 we ran the most successful round of preorders we had ever run. in two weeks we made sales comparable to almost our entire sales in 2020. we made a huge order with the manufacturer we’d been working with for around 5-6 years at the time and we stressed (as we always had) that we preferred quality over speed, that we would pay extra and wait longer to make sure the skirts were made well, that they could be made and sent in batches so we wouldn’t overwhelm their holding capacity. well. they didn’t fucking do that. our old manufacturer changed skirt materials without informing us and about 60% of the entire skirt order was defective and specifically around 90% of miniskirts were defective. most of the midi skirts defects were minor printing errors (so a few white dots where there was dust on the fabric when it went through the printer, or a couple dark splotches from some splattered ink, or some minor print banding) but about 60% of the defective miniskirts were unsellable because they were literally falling apart. we are still dealing with the ramifications of this. we’ve sold through a bunch of the horrible miniskirts, selling them as scrap material below cost in the hopes that literally anyone can find a use for them so they don’t end up in a landfill. we still have a ton left that we need to sort and list in the store, but it is a truly staggering amount of work. we had to pay out of pocket to remake those skirts, which sucked.

so the difference with the new manu is about more than just material or print fidelity. it’s about consistency and quality. with the skirts from our old manu, we spend a ton of time quality checking every individual garment because there are so many defectives. that’s why the restocks had to be broken up into smaller, more frequent restocks: because that QC takes a TON of time. the new factory does their own, extensive QC, including wash tests, which will likely cut down our processing time to a 10th of what it is currently because we won’t have to scour every individual garment. defectives will be the outlier instead of the norm, meaning if someone gets a defective item without our knowledge it’ll be easy and painless to replace it because it’ll be at most 5% of garments instead of like 60%. if we had to process returns/exchanges on 60% of our orders it would literally shut us down. and we likely wouldn’t be able to process most exchanges bc we wouldn’t have that many non-defective skirts to exchange with defective ones.

i don’t have an ETA yet on the return of miniskirts, but i would guess either later this year or some time next year. i just wanted to get things settled with the new factory, to make sure we know our production timeline/etc and have midi skirts 100% figured out/squared away before we add other variables. unfortunately there have been delays with the first batch of midi skirts (i talked abt this earlier today but there have been a number of earthquakes in turkey, where our new factory is) so we are running behind on that, but we’ll be getting part of our first batch of new manu skirts later this week and the rest will arrive some time in the next few weeks. after that devin and i will sit down with ash (our lovely supply chain manager and pattern maker) and go over an action plan/logistics for miniskirts, among other things. we have a lot of projects cooking right!

#ask #store #faq #it’s been a couple years so i dont remember the exact numbers but it was Bad #i also have talked abt this extensively in the past but its been a while so shrug emoji

[multifandomslxt]

Fellow squirter here 👋🏽 imma be honest with you, I’m not too sure how this even happens. Well, I kinda do. Some people just have the ability to do so. The same lubricant used to wet our vaginas is what is seen when someone squirts. It’s not urine at all. The urinary and reproductive system are separated (I’m not assuming you don’t know this but there’s a lot of misinformation on what the substance is so just in case!). This is my experience with squirting:

1. I squirt a lil when I’m starting to get wet. That’s just how my cooch decides to lubricate itself. I actually remember a guy had his thigh in between my bare legs and cooch while we were kissing and I literally squirted on it. I saw the wet spot on his skin and everything and I FELT the squirt leave my cooch. He did too 🤭 it’s like a lil skeet skeet. A squirt squirt. Nothing crazy. It’s not a splash zone yet

2. I have squirted in a mf’s face while getting head. Not necessarily when I was having an orgasm but just while I was getting super super wet. I released quite a bit ngl. The dude’s beard was SOAKED okay? I was embarrassed 🙈 I didn’t feel it actually that’s the funny thing. I kissed him and was like “wow your beard is wet tf” and then he told me I squirted while he was down there. He said he saw the squirts come out, like they weren’t small they were visible…

3. I’ve squirted while having an orgasm…I made myself do it three times?? It felt very nice. Clit and finger combo works best. It genuinely does feel like a build up both like you’re boutta have an orgasm but also like you’re going to pee. Craziest release ever I’m so serious. The mf with the beard also made me squirt from his fingers!! It was heaven.

4. One thing to keep in mind is that when folks with coochies don’t fuck for a loooong time, when they’re finally hooking up with someone, that cooch tends to go into overdrive to lubricate itself. That’s normal like hello. HOWEVER…if you’re a squirter?!? Good luck, Charlie! You’ll probably start squirting in crazy amounts 😭 not even reaching an orgasm yet. You’re just WET AF. Coochie overflowing like somebody left the faucet on NO LIL KIM!!! It can be kind of embarrassing. This is why I soaked that man’s beard tbh. My friend was telling me how he was fingering his gf who hadn’t fucked in five years. She hadnt nutted YET but she soaked up his arm. She was like “Omg I have never squirted so much before.” It’s serious 😭 also, it’s not overwhelming for the person because we don’t even be feeling it fr. Again, that’s just how some coochies lubricate themselves. The orgasm is different than the lubrication in terms of feeling. The orgasm squirt can actually tire somebody out and knock them to sleep. Straight up.

If you wanna squirt: fingering and clit rubbing/sucking combo works <<<

wait cuz i thought we only squirt when we orgasm lmaooo

I'm not gonna lie the wet beard story made me laugh but thank you so much sweetheart for letting me know how that shit works<3333

#multifandomslxt asks #im officially educated on this

[alphinias]

Lmfao Jonas really said this about big John they literally didn’t know if they would make him permanently dead or bring him back and how they took a risk giving him a huge role in season 3 because they didn’t think he could do it??? And now the whole audience is saying they hated how he had such a big role and he was boring but Jonas said the risk paid off because he was excellent??? Like that makes me worried for the writers perception of things “Jonas Pate: No. We met Charles and we just really liked him. He’d only been in two scenes when he’s in the Season 2 finale. We knew he would have a huge, huge role in Season 3. His performance for the season was just amazing. He brought so much to it and we would’ve been screwed [if the risk didn’t pay off]. We kind of took a chance on him because we didn’t really know if he could do the whole thing, and then he just delivered. But meeting him and talking with him, we just realized, “Holy... we should use him.”

I saw him saying this and I am choosing to ignore it lmao!! As a fan of Jonas I’m happy he’s proud of what they made, but I also think there’s no way he won’t realize no one liked the big john plotline. I hope… like it seems like he took note of how badly we received the gator etc because that type of stuff wasn’t in S3 every episode. And my problem wasn’t the plotline itself but the AMOUNT of it. I actually like the idea for the sake of John B’s character. We just got WAY too much of it.

The only thing I’ve seen people overwhelming like was Rafe, Jiara, and Cleope. And everyone wants more pogues, even people who don’t have the same ships.

#obx #big john routledge #ask

[thoughtsinblue]

Walking Fast and Slow

I've always been one to walk fast. And, looking back at my life, it's rather easy for me to say that that's how it's always been. Maybe it's because I'd perpetually be late to school, or maybe it's because of another reason that I can't quite put my finger on. By all means, it wasn't even until a few hours ago that I consciously realized that that was the case.

It was 7 p.m., a fine Saturday evening. I'd just exited out of a café and although I'd just had a Kouign-Amann and some coffee, I still felt as if I had room for more. I usually have dinner around 7:30 p.m. and so, I decided to make my way towards a restaurant. I opened up Google Maps and selected a fine establishment. It was about 2 km away from where I was. Now, I was in no hurry as I had no one waiting for me at home, and so, as I had this seemingly infinite amount of time on my hands, I decided to walk all the way. (I also secretly hoped that it'd make me feel just a bit better about being such a glutton.)

I put on my earphones, selected a playlist and started walking. As I walked, thoughts started flooding my mind. Now, I have, for a long time, thought of walking as a tool to clear thoughts, but more often than not, this influx of thoughts becomes chaotic. The thoughts come and go, are overlapped, and sometimes they break off, and all of this happens at a rate that is too dizzying for me to keep up with. Most days, this ends with me being completely overwhelmed and exhausted. Today seemed just like one of those days. But then, out of nowhere, an inescapable thought struck me: "Why is it that I always find myself hurrying? Why can’t I just take in all that is around me? I would most definitely benefit from walking slowly.”

And so I did. Well, kind of. As I’ve said before, I've always walked fast, and now that I was trying to slow down, I couldn't. I'd take a few slow steps, but then find myself picking the pace up again. This happened for a while until I finally got the hang of it. I wasn't prepared for what came next. I was quite literally going against my own nature, and so it was rather difficult for me to slow down, but once I did do so, I realized that my thoughts had slowed down too. They weren't zooming past me at the speed of light, instead, they remained long enough for me to pay attention to them. And not only had the thoughts slowed down, but also, the surrounding lights seemed to get brighter. Suddenly, things around me were not a blur, every car that sped ahead on the street besides me had a distinct sound, I was taking in the faces of the strangers around me, most of them moved past me, however their perfumes lingered just a moment longer.

After dinner, I headed towards the sea. I sat down on top of the raised platform that hugs the coast. As I was beginning to put my earphones away, I was greeted by a stray cat. Although I didn't notice her at first, she introduced herself when she started playing with my messenger bag. Needless to say, the cat made her way to me as soon as I pulled the bag into my lap. After a short introduction, she sat down next to me. Her constant purr relaxed me even further to the point where I no longer had anything on my mind. The people around me faded into the background and then, it was just me, the cat and the sound of the waves. The salty breeze against my skin suddenly made me feel at home. I reflected on what I had learnt and now that I think of it, I might have thought a few things out loud as if the cat could understand me just fine.

I do not know how long I sat there listening to the sound of the waves, but when I finally decided to leave, I crossed the street and suddenly, I turned back to take a picture of the cat, but she had left too. I saw her walking, slowly, as if she were reminding me to do the same.

#writing #sea #waves #cat #quote #thoughts #coffee #cafe #author #relaxing #long reads #good reads #melanchonic

[caffeinelemur]

ur tag about being picky ruining vacations rings so true. i remember going on a trip with my best friend and he took me to an italian restaurant (pasta is my safe food) and because i couldnt make it myself i had to sit there with his whole family eating and me with nothing and they all questioned it so fucking awkward 😭

Yeah my stepdad has this crusade against my “eating habits” that’s grown in intensity and stupidity since I was like eight. At first it was something between eating with the family/making me eat healthy/vegetables? (Was forced to eat food I didn’t like for several years + has a strong gag reflex + literally cannot eat things I don’t like, why would you do that) Or something, but then it also became fights during trips bc I just wanted my safety/favorite and he wanted to eat at some random fucking place in a different state that doesn’t serve food I eat anyway, and then I got Diagnoses™️ and he decided I made all of them up and lied to my doctor to get idk what attention and meds? and when we told him my doctor diagnosed most of that without me prompting it he was like it’s bc nutrition like bitch I don’t think my samefood gave me bipolar.

Anyway, we barely go anywhere and whenever we do I can’t even get excited bc I’m just like. We’re gonna fight about food the entire time and eventually I’ll just tell them to go do whatever they want and I’ll not eat anything for lunch and stay in the car bc I’m tired and overwhelmed and take a car nap with my noise cancelling headphones on loud music playing all I wanted was to spend like seven to eleven dollars to eat a decent amount of food and get a big ass drink but no now we’re doing this. You can still go you your fucking choice I’m not making you eat my food leave me in the car with a ridiculous fast food order a huge soda and music and fuck off to your own food adventure I’ll be dandy, but no. (My spectrum in a different flavor mother tries her best to get me fed somehow and is probably the only one between the three of us keeping me alive, and all she gets is anxiety. Sorry mom.)

Also somewhere right before high school I gained a fun new eating disorder and between that and my always reliable forgetting-to-eat I kept dipping below into underweight, so my doctor told me not to worry about healthy vs junk or anything right then just try to focus on eating something even if it’s chips or whatever. I had a timer on my phone to remind me it was like 11 or 2 or smth maybe try a snack?? I brought a snack size bag of chips for lunch every day it’s all I could figure out. And mom heard this and was like ok, nightly McDonald’s runs aren’t a battle anymore bc she knew my cardinal rule of food is no matter what I can and will eat McDonald’s. Like even at my most ill can’t look at a cracker I can and will eat that hamburger and be fine. I got back up to barely technically but still healthy weight for a little while bc of it. Eat your samefood your doctor says it’s fine if anyone says otherwise throw a nearby object at them and run this is the moral of the story I think

In college I survived off fast food someone helped me get and vending machine payday bars. Like I can’t drive and I lost half my silverware in that move when I was seven so now I’m running on like three spoons max. I’m like a scrungly raccoon with opinions. Little garbage rat only takes pizza from that one place’s trash. Alley cat that is too tired to try anymore and keeps coming to your porch bc you gave me something out of pity once.

My things with my foods is I will have I Can Have This Specific Thing From This Specific Place, or I Like This Sort Of Food Generally But I Have Extreme Opinions About It. Sometimes they overlap. Examples: I mention McDonald’s. I only ever order the same thing. Very specific. It’s a Hamburger (I won’t go into detail). I can eat other hamburgers but Generally I don’t want to and have opinions about them. If you do it Correctly at home it’s fine. Other places I don’t really like. On the other hand, I Have Extreme Pizza Opinions but I have several places I’ll eat at that qualify. It’s one of the easiest of my samefoods probably to find in a pinch, we just do research and try. I really love pizza so maybe I’m more open to figuring it out than I am w hamburgers bc I’m not like I love hamburgers it’s I love specifically McDonald’s lol. I also have a samedrink and it’s Dr. Pepper, which sadly is bad for my long term health and I’ve had fights and lectures about this for eons as well, but it’s far too late now and I don’t give a shit.

#caff answers #caff rants #sorry about my ranty soapbox #apparently i had Things To Say #yeah my fucking food adventures #and now im trapped in a fast foodless hellscape with no energy to cook just eating fucking cereal #and my only joy of going into town and getting my Food is trashed bc Boycott and i dont want to be a bad person but also. id like to eat. #why is everyone on earth including mcdonalds trying to stop me eating mcdonalds please fucking stop i will cry #The History Of Caffs Food Induced Mental Breakdown #when your samefoods are fast food and work hard and ur all out of fast and work

[cagesings]

 @whatsbehindthefacade​​  sent:  five  times  safe:    (  five  times  the  receiver  felt  safe  because  of  the  sender  )

 1.)  he  wasn’t  lying  when  he  talked  about  his  family.  it  was  big.  not  the  greatest  first  thing  to  pick  up  on  and  johanna  simply  gaped  at  the  amount  of  people  crowded  into  one  room  (  thank  heavens  she  didn’t  accidently  say  anything  about  it  ).  it  was  overwhelming  to  be  introduced  to  such  kindness  all  at  once.  every  member  of  the  hope  family  was  like  anthony;  it  isn’t  difficult  to  see  where  he  had  inherited  his  gentle  nature  from.  even  if  they  didn’t  like  her,  there  wasn’t  a  hint  of  any  distain.  all  smiles  and  laughter.  she  found  herself  caught  up  in  the  joy  of  their  son’s  homecoming.  surely,  mr.  and  mrs.  hope  had  not  expected  their  son  to  bring  home  a  wife,  yet  she  was  welcomed  with  open  arms  (  literally  ).  

 yet  johanna  almost  wishes  they  wouldn’t  like  her.  wishes  they  would  scowl  and  whisper  things  behind  their  hands  as  they  caught  glances  at  her.  there  isn’t  any  disappointing  them  that  way.  johanna  excused  herself  from  the  table,  making  her  outside  to  sit  on  the  porch.  before  she  goes  back  in,  she’ll  need  an  excuse  as  to  why  she  left.  they’ll  assume  she’s  ungrateful  for  leaving,  which  she  isn’t.  merely  overwhelmed.  anthony  sits  down  next  to  her  without  a  word.  she  doesn’t  need  him  to  speak,  only  to  hold  his  hand  and  feel  his  presence  next  to  her.  it  isn’t  her  against  the  world  anymore.  she’s  apart  of  the  loveliest  family  on  earth.  she  only  needs  him  to  be  near  to  remind  her.    

 2.)  there  is  a  pair  of  arms  wrapped  around  her  when  her  eyelids  flicker  open.  anthony’s  breath  ticks  against  the  back  of  her  neck.  deep  in  sleep.  out  of  fear  of  waking  him,  she  does  not  turn  over  in  bed  but  she  can  imagine  his  body  curled  up  against  her.  perhaps  shivering  slightly  since  the  blankets  have  ended  up  wrapped  around  her  body.  the  first  time  she  noticed  she  was  a,  well,  blanket  hog,  she  was  mortified.  apologizing  over  and  over  to  her  husband  that  she  does  not  mean  to,  that  he  must  steal  the  sheets  back  when  she  attempts  to  do  so  in  her  usually  unrestful  slumber.  anthony  laughed.  johanna’s  heart  skipped.  no  matter  how  many  times  she  hears  that  laugh,  she’ll  never  tire  of  it.  especially  when  she  is  the  one  to  have  caused  it.  for  now,  johanna  adjusts  the  blankets  over  them  as  best  she  can  in  her  position.  she  can  hear  his  heart  beat  against  his  ribcage.  in  a  world  full  of  different  bird  song,  that  familiar  echo  is  the  most  beautiful  sound  in  all  of  it.  johanna  brings  his  hand  to  her  chest  to  allow  him  to  feel  her  heartbeat  as  well.  with  the  feeling  of  his  fingers,  her  racing  heart  slows  at  last.  

 3.)  ❝  oh!  that’s  a  house  sparrow!  ❞

 lifting  up  her  skirt  with  one  hand  and  grabbing  at  anthony’s  with  the  other,  she  runs  them  over  to  the  fence  where  the  bird  sits.  johanna  doesn’t  think  she’ll  ever  tire  of  finding  new  birds  in  her  new  home.  it  isn’t  particularly  new  anymore  either.  next  sunday  marks  four  months  of  the  happiest  phase  of  her  life.  yet  she  still  finds  new  birds  to  grin  over.  stopping  in  the  middle  of  the  street  after  church  just  to  arch  her  neck  at  the  sky  and  quietly  point  out  a  new  type  of  gull.  hearing  a  new  chirp  alerts  her  to  the  nearest  window.  any  sight  of  a  bird  has  the  possibility  to  make  her  entire  week.  

 johanna  slows  her  pace  as  to  not  frighten  the  sparrow  off.  ❝  they’re  beautiful,  ❞  she  mumbles.  ❝  it’s  by  the  light  post  because  that’s  what  they  prefer.  or  little  crooks  on  the  outside  of  a  house.  or  --  ❞  she’s  rambling  again.  ❝  sorry.  i  don’t  mean  to  overwhelm  you  with  information.  tell  me  if  you  would  like  me  to  stop.  ❞  but  he  doesn’t.  anthony  encourages  her  to  continue.  like  a  child  being  granted  permission  to  pick  out  a  prize  from  a  toy  shop,  she  looks  up  at  her  husband.  really?  it  still  amazes  her  that  he  wants  to  hear.  he  never  stops  her  for  rambling,  he  listens.  the  fear  of  showing  off  her  interests  cannot  disturb  her  anymore.  

 ❝  they’re  very  social  birds  .  .  .  ❞

 4.)  more  often  than  not,  johanna  doesn’t  realize  that  her  leg  is  moving  up  and  down  too  much  or  too  intensely.  it’s  a  habit  that’s  always  been  apart  of  her,  though  it’s  rather  irritating  for  others  and  when  she  realizes  she  must  have  been  doing  it  for  the  past  hour.  a  nervous  habit  that  is  one  of  the  top  reasons  why  she  wishes  she  wasn’t  nervous  every  single  day  of  her  entire  life.  sitting  in  one  of  the  back  pews  at  church  never  seems  to  have  bothered  anthony.  while  she  enjoys  the  sense  of  community  that  comes  with  religious  services  each  sunday,  some  of  the  people  aren’t  her  favorite  on  earth  nor  are  their  comments  at  the  end  of  the  meeting.  today,  the  last  thing  johanna  needs  to  hear  is  another  question  about  if  her  and  her  husband  are  planning  on  starting  a  family  any  time  soon  (  she  already  realizes  they’ve  been  married  for  two  years  and  haven’t  yet  announced  it;  nodding  along  with  a  tight  smile  grows  tiring,  though  they’ll  never  hear  her  admit  that  she  doesn’t  know  if  she  can  ).  johanna  noticed  mrs.  carraway  noting  her  flat  stomach  earlier.  she  doesn’t  know  if  she  can  face  her  later  questions.  staring  ahead,  she  tries  to  ignore  her  leg  bouncing.  until  she  feels  anthony’s  hand  on  her  thigh  and  she  doesn’t  have  to.  johanna  leans  her  head  against  his  shoulder.  today  she  doesn’t  care  about  propriety.  perhaps,  they  can  sneak  out  early  together.  

 5.)  rosewater  leaves  a  scent  that  fills  the  entire  room.  one  of  the  few  good  memories  she  has  of  her  childhood  is  discovering  the  healing  effects  the  liquid  has  on  the  hair.  while  johanna  will  never  be  able  to  enjoy  roses  by  themselves,  rosewater’s  scent  has  the  power  to  relax  her  no  matter  the  situation.  standing  over  the  designated  bowl  she  has  for  washing  her  curls,  she  notices  anthony  in  the  corner  of  her  eye.  before  dipping  her  locks  into  it,  she  straightens  herself  and  turns  to  him.  no  one  ever  told  her  that  she  must  wash  her  hair  alone.  

 ❝  will  you  help  me?  ❞  corners  of  her  lips  rise  in  the  slightest  smile.  bashful,  but  said  with  a  little  nod  to  encourage  him  to  come  over.  oh  goodness,  she  can  only  imagine  what  it  would  be  like  for  anthony  to  not  only  touch  her  hair,  but  also  wash  it.  

 once  he  does,  johanna  sets  her  fingers  on  top  of  his  to  move  him  through  the  actions.  laughing  when  he  accidently  splashes  her  in  the  face.  his  apologies  only  cause  further  giggles,  a  wave  of  shyness  falling  over  her  before  she  walks  him  through  the  next  step.  she  kisses  his  cheek  before  smearing  her  soap  in  his  hair.  another  kiss  to  his  nose  as  a  congratulations  when  he  successfully  spreads  the  lather  through  her  curls.  a  kiss  to  his  chin  as  they  rinse  it  out.  and  a  kiss  pressed  against  his  lips  with  wet  hair  dripping  down  her  back  and  into  her  skirts.  

 ❝  i’d  like  you  to  help  me  more  often  if  you  are  willing.  ❞  another  kiss.  a  shrug.  ❝  my  hair  is  safe  in  your  hands.  ❞

#did not expect them to be touching in every single one of these but anthony touching her makes her feel safe :') #*❈ ‣ i’ve never had dreams only nightmares — ( study. ) #*❈ ‣ buried sweetly in your yellow hair — ( rel. anthony ) #whatsbehindthefacade #long post tw

[mrsgojosatoru]

i know u didn’t rlly ask for anyone else’s 2 cents but more than anything this whole situation makes me so sad for abusive victims.. bc they’re watching at the way the gp and media is treating this case. i go online and see fan edit after fan edit of moments in this trial, and it’s just become cemented in my brain that ppl don’t give a single shit about dv victims. and it’s the same ppl who scream “believe victims!!” at the top of their lungs clawing and tearing this woman apart. it’s “believe victims” until that victim is amber heard or someone they don’t like. idk how many times ppl need to be reminded that there’s no such thing as a perfect victim, literally get that idea out of ur head bc a perfect victim doesn’t exist. to expect a regular person with their own past to be completely perfect and never fight back and to try to vilify them for that is so??? i know it’s a civil case but the way it’s being treated is rlly weird, to the point that i find it quite distressing to see lives/edits of the case so i click ‘not interested’, just for more and more posts about the trial to continue popping up. people who have no business speaking about this are speaking about it, makeup artists showing how to ‘correctly’ colour correct and referencing the milani scandal, commentary channels encouraging hateful comments for engagement etc.

it’s a clear smear campaign, only he doesn’t need to lift a finger bc his fans are eating her alive for him. and i’ll never forget the amount of ppl (the overwhelming amount of women specifically) giggling over an edit about her body being used up and her smelling like fish. i cant even remember all the insults but it was just so humiliating to listen to, i cant even imagine how she must have felt. his messages either about her or to her were being read aloud in court and someone made it into an edit just for women in the comments to start giggling and thirsting over him. talking about how he was gonna destroy her with women in the comments saying “i wish he would destroy me like that 😩”…. she’ll never get away from it, it’s not enough to be abused by him over and over and to have to be abused all over again in court. the world won’t ever let her forget it and she’ll never be able to rid herself of the label ppl have given her… until years later when ppl realise they contributed to a literal hate campaign.

I don't mind two cents like this! Because you're absolutely right. So much of this trial has been handled in a way that would do the maximum damage to Amber, and those same people doing the harm are the ones thinking she'd have something to gain about lying about this.

I too feel for those who've suffered from abuse watching mocking an abuse survivor become a national pastime.

tbh I don't think d*pp stans are capable of basic human decency at this point because they think their actions are okay, and don't think about how the effect amber or anyone else who's been abused.

#abuse tw #i stand with amber heard

[waitingforafriendblog]

My love for food is so deep and my ED broke my relationship with food..

Picture this:

You’re in a straight jacket, laying face-up on a mattress, surrounded by 4 white walls…

Mac and cheese begins to fall from the ceiling.. So much so; that you’re now, buried underneath 2 tons of pasta....

That’s how I’d describe my love for food… Intense? Welcome to the wonderful world of living with an eating disorder..

Let’s dive in, to living life buried underneath food,, And the inevitable death of the relationship shared with food we love, most..

Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), or body dysmorphia, is a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance. These flaws are often unnoticeable to others. People of any age can have BDD.

When I was 8 years old, my body dysmorphia began to develop and started to haunt me… I was only in the second grade……

My jealousy took over when my best friend Alexa Burridge,, and I went swimming in her pool one summer afternoon…. One piece swim wear was the only bathing suit I had ever wore as a kid… But so many other girls were already wearing bikinis… Including Alexa…

As soon as we finished changing into our suits,, and I saw Alexa’s perfect body,,,, I ran to her bedroom and stood in front of the mirror and cried…. She so much skinnier than me… Her body is perfection.. It’s official. I’m the ugly, fat friend……

(We were literally the exact same size. Meaning, you could also, count my rib cage from 100 ft away)

Anorexia nervosa,, often simply called anorexia,,, is an eating disorder characterized by an abnormally low body weight, an intense fear of gaining weight and a distorted perception of weight. People with anorexia place a high value on controlling their weight and shape, using extreme efforts that tend to significantly interfere with their lives.

At 12 years old we had attended a Holiday/Christmas party… The catering that night was provided by The Olive Garden… (bet)

As the buffet began,, my anxiety to serve myself in front of 50+ people became so overwhelming I started to cry softly, my vision became blurry, dark, insulting, and cruel thoughts took over while I was surrounded by a lot of food, and a lot of people.

It seemed like I was in that buffet line for 10 minutes when in reality it only took me less than two minutes to fix a plate…

Sitting at just one of the many tables spread throughout the house… I approached a group of women, at least 9 of them..

“did you see Elena in there?? She got practically nothing..”

“Yeah I looked at her plate and it’s obvious she doesn’t eat..”

“I bet she’s hungry all of the time..”

“Elena needs help because there is definitely something wrong with that kind of behavior..”

“Why doesn’t she eat..”

“She’s way too skinny. She’s way too skinny. She’s way too skinny…”

Standing in the shadows I interrupted the topic of conversation…. Only to stand in front of the group of women, silently, for 10 seconds,,, with the most bitchy-disgusted look on my face….

Everyone else saw,, what I thought was invisible. Fuck…

Bulimia is an eating disorder in which a person has regular episodes of eating a very large amount of food (bingeing) during which the person feels a loss of control over their eating. The person then uses different ways, such as vomiting or laxatives (purging), to prevent weight gain.

When I was 16 years old,, I spent a week of my summer shadowing my Mentor at his workplace, that meant I had to eat in front of the people I loved most…. I didn’t want to look gross or disgusting or chew too loudly or eat too much or eat too little….. WHAT am I going to do?? Well, at that point my body dysmorphia took over my thoughts, and couldn’t allow me to physically eat,, anything.

I was so nervous if I did eat, I would for sure throw up at the dinner table…. We all know our limits when it comes to nausea……

“Dinner was great I’m going to go brush my teeth!!”

Collapsing in front of the toilet, I vomit the small amount of food I actually ate. And then, I brushed my teeth..

Luckily,, I was starved and my body wasn’t bloated from eating so we hit the pool….

“You never eat… We all know you’re bulimic,, or some shit….” (Ugh. Douche.)

Not thinking anyone noticed, I became so fucking embarrassed and ashamed… That night I cried myself to sleep… How the hell was I supposed survive 4 more nights, when everyone knows I’m a freak?

I’ve lost weight, I’ve gained weight, I’ve loved food, I’ve hated food…

But what’s past, is past…

i love food and I’m making it my responsibility for my daughter to have a healthy relationship with the plate in front of her..

Something no one has ever done, for me..

#journal prompt #journalling #eating disoder trigger warning #food #anorexia #bulmia #Ed binging #sad #embarrassing #insecurity #I hate celery #I hate blue cheese #I hate cauliflower #I hate feta cheese

[thanakite]

Additionally, I am deeply dreading my younger sister moving back home, not only because she is just like our mom in that she will make me feel like shit and then berate me for being upset, like literally has done this to the point that after months and months of doing this, she broke one of my bongs, I heard it fall and went to check in she is like teary and afraid I’m going to be mad and I just picked up the pieces, told her it was fine, and left, a story she told several times over the years never mentioning the lead up to it and more of a like “Oh [thanakite] is so chill, she didn’t even yell at me when I broke her bong (The third of which she broke by the way),” literally either never realizing that I didn’t yell at her because she had spent months making me feel like an asshole any time I tried to talk to her about stuff she was doing that was upsetting me (Leaving trash in my bed, insisting we watch something she wants and then falling asleep in my bed, smoking a lot of my weed, etc.), like these are not things that should be turned on you to make you feel like an asshole, but she did it and more making me too tired and depressed when she broke my bong (It was new and pretty good quality too, so it was a favorite) to even try and be upset because I didn’t want to be made to feel like an asshole or just not caring why I wasn’t upset about this

Eventually I brought this up with her, and for a period she said that she didn’t remember it or that wasn’t how she remembered it or literally any excuse to not accept that this is how I felt during that time (A conversation we were only having because we hadn’t lived together in 2 years), until eventually she said sorry and that she was going to do better, and for short periods she did, it helped that we weren’t around each other as much, but we were moving in a more positive direction, and yeah for a while we even had what I classified at the time as a good relationship, looking back though I see a lot of those same issues present but between my mental and physical health I literally just didn’t have the energy or self-esteem to feel like I deserved more at the time. Then we went on a trip with our mom and during the trip the two did what they did and do all the time they wouldn’t let me speak, and (To clarify before I talk about this part I am aware that sometimes I talk too loud, a trait I, in part, get from my mother who is also loud, the difference between us is she is just loud and tells people to fuck off if they complain whereas I simply do not notice when I am being loud, in part because auditory processing makes any talking around me overwhelming and loud so I naturally adjust my voice without thinking to hopefully be heard over the amount of noise that I think is present in addition to not noticing a volume increase when I am excited about something, and have very, very little in terms of self-esteem) literally shushing me and saying other stuff that yes alerts me that I am talking too loud, but in the most hurtful ways possible instead of simply calmly telling me I am talking too loud and to adjust, they do it in a way that makes it clear they’d rather I just shut up instead of trying to talk quieter, so we are on this trip and they are doing this on this bus full of people, on the final days of our trip and so I stopped talking and spent most of the rest of the drive trying to hold back the tears building up in my eyes. They finally noticed this right before we arrived at our hotel, and bugged me a bit before getting off and then bugged me about it more once we were alone in an elevator to our rooms

Why was I crying? Because I was planning on killing myself when we got back from this trip and only hadn’t done so before because I knew my mom didn’t get insurance for the trip and would therefore struggle to get her money back for it if I killed myself before we left, and here we were like one day before we get on a flight back home and all they could do was make it clear that they didn’t want to listen to me and that I should just be quiet and not talk which rubbed right up against my desire to at least no longer exist, and really was just reinforcing the idea that it would be better if I was dead

We talked about this (They were very apologetic, but time has shown that it seems they are more sorry that I talked about it with them or something, because literally they are always doing this shit and honestly if they were really sorry about this there would be at least some level of improvement, but there really doesn’t seem to be), went to bed and then were flying home the next day. They were trying to be gentle in some ways, but were also still being mean in others so it was draining for all of us (Plus the pain and fatphobia that surrounds flying) but eventually we made it home. I was eventually put into PHP and then IOP to try and help with being suicidal, though it wasn’t very helpful because chronic pain for me (especially with how high it is all the time) makes me at least passively suicidal all the time, and passive can become active in an instant

Now, it took months to get through all of that and then kept dealing with a large amount of doctor bullshit to try and figure out my chronic pain and other health stuff on top of continuing mental health treatment and COVID, and at that time both my younger sister and I were living at home with our parents, again I was like this is a good relationship, it was a lot of us vs our parents with stuff (Literally on my first day of IOP she sat the two of us down and told us that we were huge burdens, we were sucking her and my dad dry, and were essentially parasites), but she still kept doing things that would hurt me, and my self-esteem was not high enough to talk about it most of the time and when I did she once again would turn it around on me and make me the asshole (Often bringing up stuff that happened years ago and was a result of several things, like yeah some of those times I was an asshole, but a lot of them was me trying to do anything to get her to stop hurting me and her deciding I was an asshole as a result), and I didn’t keep pushing because I was still (and let’s be real I still am) incredibly depressed and didn’t want to lost the one support I had against our parents

Over time, largely as a way to avoid dealing with our parents and their need for us to constantly doing things, she began driving me to all of my appointments, which I appreciated in a lot of ways (Meant I didn’t need to focus on the road as much, driving makes me tense which makes my pain worse, it gave me a second set of ears for a lot of these appointments, etc.) and I went with her to her appointments as well (In part also to deal with our parents, but also just because I knew the appointments made her nervous, and that by going with her and chatting before hand it distracted her so it wasn’t as bad). There were of course some problems with this (She drove most of the time and if she was driving she always played her music and generally I wasn’t allowed to skip songs or anything but when I drove I would play my music and she’d skip a bunch of songs which frustrated me because this is my music that I like to listen to, my playlist is huge and her skipping these songs meant that it would likely be months before I got to hear those songs that she skipped and that was only assuming she wasn’t in the car when it came on again and skipped it then too (Also, sometimes I wouldn’t give her permission to be skipping willy nilly or had talked about how she is skipping so many of my songs and I literally was lucky if she let me skip one (And her playlist at the time had like 24 songs so it was pretty likely if I did skip a song she’d hear it again soon, while my playlist has had over 900 songs for years), and would ask for her to hit skip because a song was downloaded from YouTube and therefore had a long, unnecessary segment at the end, and she’d take that as permission to skip as much as she wanted after that, sometimes trying to do it with stealth since she knew I didn’t want her to, but never with great success), her driving makes me anxious, her not being as concerned as me about being late, etc.) but I still came to rely on it

Then suddenly she wasn’t home very much anymore, she wasn’t there to take me to appointments and when she was she made it clear it was a burden or would complain in subtle ways until I told her she didn’t need to go, and then she just wasn’t there at all except very rare occasions and when she was she made it clear that she was coming down to see me and was very uncomfortable being there because of our parents, which she used to guilt me into coming to see her (She was living at our older sister’s place and our older sister was paying for her to be there (essentially), I didn’t like to go there for a number of reasons, including that our older sister is pretty regularly hurtful to me and when she isn’t she largely doesn’t do anything that shows she is in anyway thinking about anything outside of herself, her boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend) made me uncomfortable (He liked to say the n-word and F** and that kind of stuff and made self harm jokes in front of me when I have a lot of self harm history, etc.), his brother who lived there made me uncomfortable (In part because they treated my older sister poorly and in part just because being around people makes me uncomfortable), they don’t really account for my pain and guilt me into doing things that cause me harm, etc.), whereas our parents had gotten better with her after she left and generally just left us alone when she was over unless she started a fight with them (Something she loves doing despite how uncomfortable it makes me, like literally, if the family doesn’t end up berating me for something then she or our older sister start dumb or pointless fights with our parents, so literally any time I am around any of my family the end result is I am uncomfortable if not worse (Like they might not be doing all of this on purpose but it certainly feels that way at this point especially when they decide to mention how I am obviously uncomfortable, say they are going to move on and then don’t)

Before she left she was very encouraging about me getting on Disability because I can’t work (She had been living here for her own health problems but once they were sorted they wouldn’t really affect her ability to work), that changed once she got a job, then she was insistent I could work (We have some similar health problems but our major ones are completely different), most of the time when she came over she did at least a few things that made me feel like shit, and honestly when she first left, I felt abandoned, she just suddenly wasn’t around to hang out or help out (Even when she had previously committed to helping out) or literally anything. My parents understood but also were largely like “Get over it”

Over time she came over less and less (Those arguments she would start always left her upset, which I understood because arguing with our parents is a good way to feel like shit, but I was around for most of them, and like I said she largely started these fights by picking at things our parents have made clear that they aren’t going to change and largely didn’t have much impact on her, and when it was something that had an impact on her she would still pick the fight and then be surprised that the result made her feel shitty, all while I am there extremely uncomfortable about this mean argument that literally didn’t need to be started when we were just talking about easy, light stuff), and at first that hurt too, because I was trying so hard to not let the things she kept doing upset me because she wasn’t going to change and if I tried she’d make me feel like shit and I was afraid she’d come over even less.

Eventually we were only seeing each other when it was like family gatherings or if she needed something or if I forced myself down to their place. She changed a lot during this time, but she was always trying to push her own changes on me (I don’t really care about what is on my walls and don’t want to add my own stuff to the stuff that is already here or trade them out, having a lot of stuff on the walls gives me anxiety and makes me feel boxed in, she has pretty much every square inch of her room plastered it things (That make her happy) sometimes several layers of things, it set me off to see it but I swallowed that too, but then she insisted that I HAD to put stuff up on my walls and such, and I simply just don’t care to, and she continues to insist during most of her visits, I’m not managing my ADHD properly (According to her) and have to do it the way she is, stuff like that), she doesn’t seem to get, no matter what I do to try and explain, that it’s always the stuff I like that makes me have at least some fleeting happiness that she decides is wrong and needs to change. A lot of her recent visits seems to be her smoking my weed, eating my food, and making me feel like shit, and I realized awhile ago that I latched onto her because I didn’t have anyone else but the reality is that her being around isn’t good for me.

Like an easy example is that she always wanted to watch TV together, so I had to watch shows she’d like too, but she wasn’t as willing to compromise and watch shows that I had more of an interest in, and then would stay and watch until midnight or 1am, and then I have to watch shows I actually want to watch to decompress because I spent all this time with her and I am very much an introvert and need to be alone to decompress. On nights I was lucky I was going to sleep around 4 or 5, if insomnia hit I probably wouldn’t sleep, and every week or every other week there would be at least one day she called me in the middle of the night (Like I worry about people so I want to help them for sure, but the reality is that my phone sound stays on because I have to constantly be able to field calls from doctors, government agencies I tried working with, etc.), and she’d be crying because she was too anxious to sleep, or because there was a bug in her room or because she thought she had a hive and was to worried to sleep or any number of any other things, its unclear if I was luckier to have fallen asleep before she called or not, but it always either resulted in me going up to take care of a bug, or her coming down to watch more TV so she could calm down and she still makes it clear she doesn’t want to listen but that I need to listen to her, that in any argument I’m going to be left the asshole and the only one to apologize, and that everything I do is somehow wrong, and on and on and on, so I don’t actually want to be around her at all

Recently though it was kind of like a lame final straw. See before she dipped out of our parents house all of a sudden our parents had got her a cat. It was both of our understanding that this was like all of our other cats where they bought them “for us” but really it is a cat for the house. That was apparently wrong and they had expected her to take this cat when she left, she didn’t because she obviously couldn’t afford to take care of a cat, and when she started coming around less and less it was largely left to me to take care of this cat. I love this cat, she is my baby, but it wasn’t supposed to be this way. Now, it has been well over a year since she moved out and so largely this cat is my cat (Very much feels like that situation where a younger sibling has a baby but can’t take care of it so an older sibling takes the kid and raises them, and is essentially their mom in all ways except DNA, but the younger sibling likes to act as if they are their mom during the few visits they have when they are at best the fun aunt and have literally nothing to do with actually caring for them)

This cat is large and has become pretty fat and does have a couple of health issues, all of which has led to her having poop stuck to the back of her butt, but she has been traumatized by life so she very much does not like you touching anywhere near that area. I have done a bunch of different stuff to try and help and even tried to get our parent to help hold her to deal with it but largely has just been a nightmare, and it is something I have updated my sister on a number of times since every time she comes over she acts like she is the cat’s mom when I am her mom. Recently we decided to try one of the cat restraint bags on Amazon, and while she was decidedly displeased and was crying as if I was killing her I managed to clean it all up. I then had to clean up the bathroom too, but I love this cat so I am willing to put up with a lot of pain for her, but I was 100% flaring the next day as a result.

Recently she was over (There was another visit not long before this where I mentioned it kind of in passing that we had gotten the bag, but not really anything about how it went or anything because she was in a hurry), and we were all talking about stuff when my mom reminded me about it (Literally moments before my younger sister was saying stuff like “I’m your mamma” to this cat) and I start to tell her about how it went and before I can even really start she cut me off and said that she didn’t care to hear about it since she already knew that I got the bag and cleaned her but nothing else (Like literally was just planning on talking about how wild she looked in the bag and how much she screamed because it was a lot), but she didn’t want to hear any of that, she didn’t care, and this kind of put me over the edge with her (Or at least close enough that all the other stuff recently made it a full tip), because literally what the fuck? This is supposed to be “your” cat, you were literally just calling yourself her mom, I have spent a lot of time with this cat to help her with any issues that arise and made my chronic pain worse trying to make sure things were set for her in the best way possible, and am just trying to provide some anecdotes of time with her and you couldn’t care fucking less? Yeah no, I’m not okay with that, and I will not let her force this cat into her room so she can feel “connected” to her when she moves back, like she was when she was having sporadic visits

So yeah, like with my parents I really don’t want much to do with my siblings right now, and am not going to keep pushing back and swallowing the things that hurt me for their benefit, so yeah, she isn’t going to be watching shows with me and I am going to keep a tight hold of my weed, because she is why so much of my stuff goes faster than it should

#tw self harm #cw self harm #cw suicidal ideation #tw suicidal ideation #long post

[mari-the-bimbo]

Hello :)! Hopefully you are having an amazing day!

Idk if There is a specific place for me to request so please don’t mind if I didn’t di it at the right place.

Can you make a part 2 of college!Au with the shy reader. If possible they are now dating the boys. How are classes now? Do the boys tease reader and distract her? Overall teeth rotting fluff 🥰❤️

Thank you!

Tenjiku x shy reader dating (college! AU)

A/N: Thank you the request!! Love writing some good old fluff 🥰 Enjoy! <3

Characters: Izana, Kakucho, Rindou, Ran

Izana:

Now that you and Izana are dating, he’s attached to your hip. Your hands are always intertwined wherever you go. His ego has boosted even more.

Still calls you ‘y/n Chan’ in that same adoring tone he used back when he was simply crushing on you

But now he’s more bold too, while you’re scribbling down some irrelevant notes in a lecture, Izana will first observe you with the same amused look, before leaning in until his face is inches apart from yours, quickly stealing the pen out of your hand

You look up at him confusedly, flustered by the proximity “b-babe?” You whisper.

“Gimme a kiss y/n chan”

When the white haired boy had a crush on you, even when he wanted to look away, he couldn’t, you were too pretty to look away from. But now he could finally openly indulge in your beauty.

“Pretty baby” he’ll mumble against your cheek when he kisses it, laughing when he can feel your cheeks burning. His praises are endless and they come so easily for you

Kakucho:

I’m just gonna say this know, nearly everyone on campus cheered when you and Kaku finally started dating, because this boy has been openly simping over you for way too long 😭

He’s still a bit bashful, but now he’s no longer scared to show his overwhelming amount of affection for you.

Every morning, once you leave the dorm to head to college, you find the tall boy waiting outside, holding a coffee for you.

“Morning angel” he say with a small smile, hoping you don’t mind when he leans in for a kiss. And as he wraps one arm around your waist for a cuddle, his other hand is extended outwards because this simp doesn’t wanna drop your drink <3

He always wraps his jacket around you because he’s worried you’ll get cold and he refuses to take it back from you, so now you have a jacket collection, sincerely from Kaku <3

Absentmindedly plays with your fingers

Kakucho is literally the best boyfriend ever.

Rin:

He’s pretending to be chill about it but actually he’s the happiest man alive

He’s very sweet to you when you’re stressed out with assignments too! “Oi, don’t get so worked up silly girl” he’ll say, pinching your cheeks playfully before sitting down with you to help you. “Gonna help you yeah?”

Lots of head pats!

He still grabs you a drink like he did back when he was crushing on you, but now he’ll corner you with a sly smile and demands kisses in return. A dry laugh from him when you start to blush.

Plays with your hair a lot, twirling your hair around his slender fingers, while still maintaining the most blank face.

“You’re secretly enjoying this aren’t you Rin?” You tease bravely with a giggle, “shush” he replies, quickly covering your mouth with his hands which only made you giggle more.

Did I mention his staring problem didn’t go? Whenever you bashfully point it out, he’ll dryly reply with “and what?”, resuming to stare at your beauty, but now with a small smirk.

Ran:

Another one where nearly everyone on campus cheered when you two finally started dating, but not because they’re genuinely happy, but because they’re relieved Ran will no longer make it everyone’s problem 😭

“Babyyyy” he’ll coo as he grabs you from behind and literally lifts you up for a cuddle, making others laugh at the endearing yet funny sight, while you blush profusely.

Slaps your butt a lot.

God this boy is so sweet yet insufferable.

Turns up outside your dorm with his motorbike at the most random times claiming he missed you. “You saw me at college Ran!!” “And so did everyone else!! That’s not fair!!” He pouts but his teasing look is still there, hands massaging your waist in persuasion for you to join him.

You guys have a lot of dates but he never let’s you bid goodbye without a ‘big kiss’

Let’s you play with his hair, but the conditions are that you have to let him lay his head on your lap!!

He’s probably booked out hotels in Roppongi just so he can lay on your lap on the luxurious hotel beds, where you play with his hair and he kisses your chest with a lazy smile.

An idiot, but your cute idiot.

#mari’s 4k celebration #izana x reader #izana x y/n #izana kurokawa #kakucho x y/n #kakucho x reader #rindou x y/n #rindou x reader #ran x reader #ran x y/n #tokyorev x y/n #tokyorev x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x y/n #tokyo revengers hcs #tokyo revengers #tr x reader #tr x y/n #tokyorev fluff #tokyorev smut #tokyorev rindou #tokyorev ran #rindou fluff #ran smut #izana fluff #kakucho fluff #tokyorev imagines

[marvelouslytrekking]

Hidden Injury

Pairing: Leonard McCoy/Reader Summary: An away mission goes south (as they do) and you’re left running for your life and even once you’re mostly safe, you try to keep your injuries from you boyfriend. Word Count: 1280 Warnings: maybe a swear word, brief mention of injury, passing out A/N: Wow it has been forever since I have written for Bones or Star Trek. This was kinda request from an anon for some hurt/comfort not sure if this really fits that but I wrote it in like 2 hours and it’s been awhile since I have had the ability to do that so I am proud of it and hope you enjoy it!

Just once, just one time, you wanted a mission to go according to plan. You were so sick of hearing the words “This one will be simple, just a diplomatic stop,” only to find yourself running through a jungle while being chased by the other species on the planet that hate the ones you were there to meet with.

And just once, just one time it would be nice if when things went south that the transporter would work so you weren’t stuck running for longer than your legs and lungs liked. What was the point of advanced technology if it never actually worked to get you out of these types of situations.

And worse yet, you never seemed to manage to be able to stick together, easily being split up so you were not only running for your life but you had no idea if your crewmates were okay or not. You vowed to yourself that next time Kirk thought he needed an engineer on the planet you are going to refuse to be the one. Let Scotty risk his ass, not you. You would much rather be running around onboard the ship trying to get transporters online.

You’d think that having been in a similar situation multiple times, you would have learned a few things, but evidently you had not. You turned around, trying to see if you had made any headway on getting away from the aliens but unfortunately, you hadn’t, and you managed to miss the giant log in front of you. You crashed down to the ground hard. You could tell immediately that you had definitely not only gave yourself a small concussion but something in your foot did not feel right. But at that moment you didn’t have time to dwell on either so instead you quickly pulled yourself up and continued to run. You continued to move in a zigzag, trying to dodge their spears and whatever else was being launched against you, as well as trying to lose them. Finally you made enough crazy turns that it seems they were no longer behind you.

You felt relief when you noticed a small cave and you limped your way into the opening, hoping it would hide you for long enough. Once you stopped and had a moment to catch your breath, you suddenly could feel the sharp and overwhelming pain in your foot. There was no way that it hadn’t been broken, and running for another few miles probably had done you the opposite of any good for it. You found yourself sliding down the wall of the cave. Trying not to dwell on the pain in both your foot and your head.

Your pain had distracted you so much you missed the footsteps that had been approaching you.

“Oh thank god, you’re okay.” You startled when you heard a familiar voice.

“Jesus Len, don’t sneak up on a person like that,” You scold him.

“Sorry,” He apologizes before joining you on the cave floor. “You okay? You’re not hurt are you.”

“I’m fine, Just sick of running from angry aliens all the time.” You tell him. You know you should mention the foot at the very least. There was no way if you needed to run you were going to be able to and he literally was a doctor but you just didn’t want to deal with it at the moment. You didn’t want to be the engineer that got injured on the mission and slowed everyone down.

“I agree with you there,” Bones grumbled, but you notice him running his eyes over you to make sure you truly are okay. “You sure you’re okay though?”

“Yes.” You tell him, you hope he doesn’t notice that you’re gritting your teeth.

He gives you a slight skeptical look but doesn’t push it any further. You figure he must have lost his tricorder if he hasn’t pushed it in your face already. You aren’t sure if you’re relieved or not about that fact.

You two sit in silence for a while, you find yourself wanting to close your eyes and go to sleep but you force yourself to stay awake. One thing you know is that falling asleep with a concussion isn’t a great idea. But you don’t stop yourself from resting your head on Len’s shoulder. He doesn’t seem to mind, happy to have you close.

It isn’t an issue much longer when you suddenly hear both of your comms go off.

“Transporter’s back online! We have a lock on your location and will be beaming you up shortly!” You hear Scotty’s voice.

“Took you long enough,” You tease him, not showing how relieved you truly are to hear his voice.

“Well my best engineer wasn’t here to help me out.”

Bones starts to stand up as you’re talking with Scotty and suddenly you realize you’re going to have to get up as well.

Before you can say anything, Bones has his hand stretched out for you to take. You try to position yourself in a way that you won’t have to put pressure on your leg. And it almost works, but the sudden movement of standing, or getting mostly pulled up, has your head spinning, and to get your balance, you instinctively put pressure on your foot.

You felt yourself scream out in pain as arms wrapped around you and darkness started to cloud your vision as the pain became too much.

` You wake up with just a dull pain over your entire body. Probably from the amount of running you did. But you immediately recognize that you are in one of the private rooms in the medbay. You weren’t sure your injury had warranted a private room but when you noticed Leonard sitting beside you, you realize it is probably less to do with the injury and more to do with the fact you were about to get yelled at.

“Don’t even think about pretending you’re still asleep.” He grumbled when he noticed you trying to close your eyes again.

“What if instead I just try to fall back asleep.” You countered.

“Not until after we’ve talked.”

“What are we talking about?” You asked as if you didn’t know. “How pretty the trees on that planet were?”

“No. We’re talking about the fact that you promised to stop hiding your injuries from me.” You could hear the frustration in his voice.

“I thought that was in reference to like, cuts and burns from engineering.” You tried.

“If I am worried about little cuts and burns, don’t you think I’d like to know when you completely shatter your foot and give yourself a mild concussion?” Leonard huffed. You can tell he is annoyed, but you also can hear the worry in his voice, especially when it dropped lower and he added, “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry,” You mumbled, refusing to look up at him.

“I know, just please don’t hide things like this from me again.” Leonard pleaded softly, resting his hand on your cheek, pulling your face to look at him. You notice how tired he looks. You felt terrible. He had to run for his life as well and when you could have been safe and relaxing, you scared him by passing out in his arms.

“I promise.” You told him. While you knew it wasn’t going to be easy, you much preferred not to be a burden, you also knew that you couldn’t keep doing these sort of things to him so you would make an effort. Especially because you hated seeing the disappointment on his face and much preferred the one of longing and love.

#Leonard Bones McCoy #Leonard McCoy #Leonard Mccoy x reader #Bones x reader #Leonard Bones McCoy x reader #Leonard McCoy/reader #Bones/reader #Leonard bones McCoy/reader #Bones x you #Leonard McCoy x you #Star trek #Star Trek imagine #Star Trek x reader #aimee writes

[nightcolorz]

Poorly describing my versions of the Gotham rogues:

Joker: “yolo” in its most dangerous form, def is writing a slow burn enemies to loves fic about him and Batman. Gay and homophobic 💯 The other rogues don’t invite him to pride celebrations anymore cause he’ll keep calling people slurs “as a joke”. Him and Edward have longterm beef, like schoolgirl levels of petty drama.

Harley Quinn: would describe herself as a “girlboss” unironically while committing heinous crimes. tweeted “clowns aren’t funny” after breaking up with Joker (ended up causing a huge scandal). The OG “I can fix him” girl. Is sort of the rogues free underground therapist (god knows they need it) cause they can’t get professional help without being sent to Arkham.

Poison Ivy: Breaking News: Cottagecore lesbian commits mass murder cause her plant wilted. She’s what republicans think environmentalists are. Would get in a fist fight with that vegan teacher cause “plants have feelings too”. Has beef with most of the male rogues, supports ‘kill all men’ without realizing it’s a joke (she prefers ‘kill all humans’ but figured she had to downgrade because the Gotham city sirens are humans technically).

Cat Woman: “OH NO! It appears I’ve gotten stuck backwards in the bank vault step-Bat 😏😏😏😏😏😏, looks like I’m not stealing any more diamonds today 😰😩”. Mad respect for Selina, she just wants diamonds and bat dick, no tragic backstory or complex motivations needed. I personally like to headcanon her as wearing a straight up cat costume (ears and a tail like a true furry) cause it’s way funnier to imagine a sophisticated rich woman dressing up as a cat to steal shit than whatever bullshit DCs up to these days. Trans catgirl supremacy 💎👍

Scarecrow: That one guy who gets angry at people because “Halloween costumes are meant to be scary 🤬😡😑😒”. Doesn’t even attempt to express emotions, is the human embodiement of this emoji: 😐. His presence is more jarring than threatening, his intimidation levels are somehow underwhelming and overwhelming at the same time. The other rogues have collectively decided that he’s asexual under no assumption other than that they don’t want to imagine Jonathan having sex. Overtime Jonathan has become basically fearless (he smokes his own fear gas like vape just to feel something). Jonathan and Harley became good friends when they both worked in Arkham, their dynamic is surprisingly wholesome.

The Riddler: Didn’t get hugged enough as a child and is now making it everyone’s problem. Would hold a bank hostage to show Batman his third grade spelling bee medal. Is the only autistic rogue that gets accommodations in Arkham because he won’t stop bugging the guards. FTM trans ofc (his names Edward Nygma for Christ's sake). He ran away from home at seventeen and faked his own death (his deadname is legally dead lmao). Uses the terms “alpha, beta, and omega male” unironically.

Two Face: “Yeah, I mean, I didn’t wanna blow up the orphanage either, but Y’know the coin said-” The other rogues talk to Harvey as if he’s constantly at his breaking point, which is half true. Harv is a stone cold mf, he’s the rock that’s holding Two Face together tbh. Edward calls Harvey and Harv Jekyll and Hyde cause he’s that original. All the rogues have at least a sneaking suspicion that Bruce Wayne is batman and use Harvey as their little primary source (being ex besties and everything), until they find out Selina and Bruce are a thing of course. No matter how much evidence he’s faced with Harvey will never accept Bruce Wayne is batmam, he’s not ready to consider that one of the only positive people in his life has been duking it out with him this whole time.

Penguin: He’s the rest of the rogues chill gay gangster uncle I don’t make the rules. The iceberg lounge is like the Batman villain equivalent of The Central Perk from friends (aka: its their default place to hangout). Oswald always makes a fuss about them not making reservations ahead of them but at this point it’s just performative. Everyone’s 99% sure Oswald and Edward fucked at some point (Edward always makes a show of flustering Oswald when he needs a loan). Ossie always takes care of the others belongings when they’re in Arkham (he has a special place in his heart for Jonathan‘s crows).

The Mad Hatter: I love Jervis lmao he just really likes Alice in Wonderland and that’s a valid ass villain motivation 👍. One of the smartest rogues but doesn’t get enough credit because of how childish he is. He dresses in kids clothes, not just because he wants to but because he’s small af and can’t fit in shit. In public while the rogues are undercover Jervis usually wears a beanie or a baseball cap (he’d get spotted instantly if he wore his usual, but on bad days Jervis can’t bear to be without a hat). Jonathan and Jervis play chess a lot together in Arkham, and frequently engage in intellectual discussion, Edward tends to be a piss baby when Jon encourages him to do the same, he’s not ready to accept the reality that Jervis can match his intelligence.

Killer Croc: Waylon has a surprising amount in common with Jonathan, they share southern solidarity. He doesn’t travel out of the sewer often so the rogues will occasionally come to visit Waylon there (Edward always makes sure to complain loudly about the smell). Will show immense affection and loyalty to anyone who treats him as human (poor guy just needs a friend ☹️).

Mr Freeze: Literally just dead inside, someone give this poor bastard a hug. Victor stands as the most awkward rogue, he‘s sorta like the odd one out. The other rogues don’t interact with him that often because he’s sort of a party pooper. He’s the straight friend on thin ice, haha get it. Mr Freeze is my sisters favorite Batman villain because she thought the ice puns were funny in Batman in Robin, little does she know I’m embarrassing myself on tumblr in her glory.

Music Meister: So many of the Gotham rogues have horrible childhood trauma and Music Meister is just like “people bullied me for being a theater kid 😩😭💔😔”. In all honesty he’s iconic, in my au universe thingy I have him join the dork squad latter on and he sticks out like a sore thumb for a bit. I feel like him and Jervis would really hit it off though (mind control buddies, ha), although Jervis would always get him to sing Alice in Wonderland songs. In Arkham they have him wear a dog collar thingy and zap him when he sings, he gets bullied for that lol. anyways I’m sure I could make more of these, but it’s 2:20 am and my mind went blank. If y’all liked this I could always put more au headcanons out (I have A LOT)

#gotham rogues #batman rogues #batman villains #rogues gallery #dc rogues #batman rogues gallery #two face #harvey dent #scarecrow batman #jonathan crane #the riddler #edward nygma #headcannons #mr freeze #victor fries #music meister #killer croc #waylon jones #mad hatter #oswald cobblepot #jervis tetch #selina kyle #cat woman #harley quinn #pamala isley #harleen quinzel #poison ivy #joker

[mionemymind]

Chapter 3: The Harsh Treatment

Fake Memories

Series Summary: After Y/n is caught cheating on Wanda with Carol, Y/n would do just about anything to get Wanda back into her life. But was it even Y/n’s fault that she cheated? Or was it the new enemy set on revenge?

Chapter Summary: What will happen to Y/n as the team pushes her past her limits? 

A/n: I lied, I decided to be nice and post it now. Honestly, the amount of support that I’m receiving from this fanfic has literally made me smile so much. I really love all of you who read and/or comment. You mean the world to me. Let me know what you think. :) (Not my GIF)

Warnings: Starvation, harmful thoughts, curse words, self-doubt, mentions of blood, injuries, angst

Word Count: 5k

Masterlist

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 |

Y/n abruptly woke up at the feeling of pressurized gas coursing through her body. She quickly sat up, unable to see anything in the white fog. The cold feeling only lasted a couple seconds before F.R.I.D.A.Y stated, “Fire has been contained.” Y/n hugged herself for warmth as she waited for the fog to disappear. This was the 13th time this month that she was woken up with pressurized gas. At first, it was foam but someone in maintenance had changed the system after the 5th time she woke up. 

Y/n looked at her surroundings and sighed at the damages to her sheets. There were burn marks along with small amounts of frostbite from the gas. “At this rate, I won’t have money for food.” With a grim face, Y/n got up from her bed and proceeded with taking everything off her bed, a routine she unfortunately started to learn. 

Y/n didn’t know when things got worse. If she had to guess, maybe it was after the whole fiasco with Wanda. The team had been on edge ever since then. “They probably thought I hurt her,” Y/n thought at the time, but it was far from the truth. She had wanted to explain herself to the team but dismissed those thoughts with, “What’s the point in trying? I’ll always be guilty to them.” 

As for Wanda, the still heartbroken girl didn’t dare to speak to the team about that night. Even she didn’t quite know what happened. Since that night, she only lied to herself stating that maybe Y/n had done something. It would probably remove the guilt she had when she thought of the blood running down Y/n’s face. But even the lie couldn’t repress the truth from her thoughts. 

After she collected her bedding, she threw it away in the trash can along with the other damaged beddings. Y/n grabbed her wallet off her night stand and opened it. She couldn’t feel it, but her heart dropped at the sight of the lack of money she had. Only a $20 dollar bill as well as a couple ones were left. She closed her eyes and tried her best to keep herself calm, to try and act like the world wasn’t closing in on her. It was a couple minutes later when she opened her eyes and looked at her wallet again. “This was supposed to last me for the rest of the month.” Y/n rubbed her forehead, feeling the overwhelming stress from her lack of funds. 

One might ask, “Aren’t you an Avenger? Shouldn’t you make a shit ton of money.” And at one point, Y/n would say yes, she did. But it all came back to that night. A week after, she had overheard a conversation that went…

“I just don’t understand why you’re doing this to her.” Y/n was about to go around the corner, but decided to wait at the sound of Steve’s voice. “It’s simple Rodgers - unless I have to remind you why we needed to redo the glass in the conference room.” Steve sighed at Tony’s simple minded actions. Y/n could practically feel him crossing his arms in a disapproving manner. 

“Well she did work fair and hard for her money Tony - this just feels wrong.” Y/n heard a couple clicks before Tony replied with, “This is for Wanda. Anything to get Y/n out of here by her own means is worth it. If you have a problem with this, you must not care as much for Wanda as I thought.” Steve sighed again seeing as he was morally put in an awkward position. It was either care for Y/n or care for Wanda. “That’s what I thought.” Tony left with a smug look on his face as he clicked more on the screen in front of him. 

It didn’t take long for Y/n to see the effects of Tony’s decision. Her pay day was the following day and the overwhelming sense of panic and anxiety rose up within her as she only had $400 to survive until the next pay day, which was a month later. Since then, her food portions have been small to say the least. Y/n learned that she only had enough money for the month to eat at least once a day and even that was cutting it. The dramatic changes to her diet had slowly affected her powers but it recently had an exponential increase. 

This was her fourth month of hardly eating when her powers started to flare at night. It has gotten to the point that Y/n couldn’t control them in her sleep leading to F.R.I.D.A.Y having to deal with her fireside. But her powers weren’t the only thing that has changed. If anyone were to actually look, they would see that Y/n had gotten skinnier. Her literal glow was getting duller and duller the more time passed.  

However, Y/n refused to feel sorry for herself. The sentence “I deserve this” was burned into her head. The brain tricks she puts herself through even allowed her to convince that Tony's decision was right. That Wanda didn’t need to tell the truth to the team. That Steve didn’t need to defend her. And that the team certainly was allowed to make her feel like nothing. Because to Y/n, if she didn’t deserve this, then why would you possibly treat a person like this? Just why? 

Of course, Wanda didn’t notice these changes at all. The girl was trying her best to avoid Y/n as much as possible. She always had exit strategies in place in case she were to be in the same vicinity as Y/n. However, Wanda also didn’t notice that lack of Y/n’s presence. Much to her dismay, Y/n’s efforts were the reason they didn’t see each other much. 

What Wanda did notice though was the slow and gradual decline of snacks in her cubby. It left her to question whether Natasha was done doing these small favors for her. But her reports were still getting done. 

The red head didn’t have much room to think though as she got slammed down on the mat from the other red head. “Take a ten - you’re distracted and we can’t keep going like this.” Wanda grumbled at another failed attempt to flip Natasha over. Hand to hand combat was one of the few subjects that Wanda hated the most. With the help of Natasha, Wanda got up and walked over to the waters on the other side of the room. She was gulping down the remaining when Natasha’s words caught her off guard. “What happened?” 

Wanda cocked an eyebrow while still drinking her bottle, needing more elaboration. Natasha faced Wanda while hundreds of thoughts racked her mind. Luckily for her, Wanda had trained her on how to make them quiet enough that Wanda wouldn’t be able to hear. When Natasha found the right words, she said, “I am not doubting you. I am doubting her…” Wanda closed the bottle and looked around the room to avoid Natasha’s eyes. This had been the first time that anyone from the team had remotely even asked her about that night. To be frank, she hadn’t expected Natasha to be the one to break the ice. Usually it was Steve that would act like the team’s counselor. Guess things change. 

Wanda sighed and recollected her memory for the night that continued to haunt her. “One minute, I left to get a drink from the bar. - she said that she needed to go to the bathroom. The next minute, I come back to see her all over blondie.” Wanda’s grip on the bottle tightened at the words she was going to say next. “I thought it was a mistake - that she could have been too drunk that night - b-but her thoughts were so - loud.” Wanda slammed her fist at the table in front of her, tears already falling down her cheeks. “A-a-and I saw everything-” 

The broken hearted girl didn’t have much energy left in her to continue. She dropped to her knees and sobbed into her hands. Natasha kneeled beside Wanda. She pulled the poor girl into her arms, trying her best to physically comfort her. But nothing could really make Wanda feel better. What could you say to a girl that saw every moment where her girlfriend has cheated on her? Nothing - you say nothing. 

“It’s quite pathetic actually,” Tony said as he spun the rod, causing his player to score in foosball. He was currently versing Steve as the two decided to quietly speak about Y/n’s actions for the past couple weeks. Going on the defense again, Steve shot back but Tony was quick to block. “She’s probably just trying to get her money back.” Steve huffed from the sudden slap shot as well as Tony’s rude words. 

For the past couple weeks, Y/n had gone from trying to win Wanda back to trying to win the whole team back. The first thing they noticed was all the completed mission reports and the continuation of it. Clint was the first to jokingly comment, “Bruce must really love mission reports.” But the genius bore a confused look before replying with, “It wasn’t me. Even I haven’t had anything to do in my stack for a couple days.” Bruce had a displeasured look on his face. Clint just assumed it was either he wanted to do his stack of reports or the comment was actually true...or maybe both. 

When it was time for the meeting, Clint had asked everyone in the room, minus Y/n, on who was completing the mission reports for everyone. “Well, I’m doing Wanda’s and mine,” Natasha claimed as she sat in her usual spot. No one was able to detect her lie, but then again, Natasha was always good at lying. 

Clint was quick to figure out that the only person remaining must have been the person responsible. With a straight forward voice, he explained to the team that Y/n had been completing everyones, besides Wanda’s and Natasha’s, reports. Still, Natasha sat there, copying the confused looks on everyone’s faces. She didn’t care to tell them the truth, it wasn’t worth it. However, the meeting proceeded with little comment on Y/n’s actions. She wasn’t worth the mention. 

“What if she actually is trying to say sorry to us?” Steve couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty for Y/n, but Tony’s words made the guilt go all away. “Oh - so miss Hydra over here actually wants to apologize - hilarious Steve.” With that, Tony quickly spun the rod and scored the final point, making him win the game. What the two failed to realize was the fact that Y/n had overheard their conversation. She no longer felt hungry for the day and had retreated back to her room, feeling overwhelmingly numb from the confession she heard.

It was a new and different day for Wanda. She had managed to want to try and sit in the common room with her team seeing as sitting in her room no longer gave her the same satisfaction anymore. Scrolling through the tv, she was about to pull up Bewitched when the following words appeared on the screen:

Bewitched is longer provided on Netflix. Please see related tv shows. 

“What do you mean it’s no longer available?” Wanda frustratedly questioned. And here she was trying to have a good day. “Sorry kid, I guess Netflix took it off their streaming service,” Clint said as he leaned over the couch. “No why would they do that?!” Wanda said with an exasperated look. Clint simply shrugged, Netflix did have an awful reputation for getting favorites removed or canceled. “No clue, but you could try other shows.” Wanda crossed her arms and huffed at his suggestion. “I was really feeling Bewitched today.” Ruffling her hair, Clint left after saying, “Try to feel for something else.” 

However, Wanda had failed to feel anything but angry for the remaining of the day. It wasn’t until she sat in her room for the night, aimlessly finding shows in her room when she noticed Bewitched on her home screen. She quickly clicked on it noticing that all eight seasons are there for her own viewing. Her mood immensely increased for the night as she fell asleep in the middle of season two. 

Outside of her room, Y/n had been cleaning up the compound for the night. It was getting harder and harder to clean the kitchen when everything in her wanted to just take a couple of snacks for herself. Her hunger was constantly on her mind as well as the stupid flashes that have sporadically appeared more and more everyday. But she wanted more than anything to prove to the team that she is a good person. Stealing, no matter how minor, was probably the last thing she needed to be labeled as. 

When she completed for the night, she returned to her room but paused outside of her door when she heard the Bewitched theme song loudly play in Wanda’s room. A small smile appeared on her face as she walked back into her room and slept on the floor tonight.

“Did it ever occur to you that I love you - like a lot?” The couple were laying in Carol’s room decorated with punk rock posters and pictures of their team. Small plants were placed around the room while Malcolm in the Middle was used as background noise. 

“Nah. I haven’t heard you say it in approximately - 10 minutes?” Carol laughed as Y/n glanced at her watch. They laid on their sides as they faced each other, their faces being only inches away. “Well I do.” Carol cupped Y/n’s cheek as she soon grew mesmerized. 

There are words to always describe feelings with someone but they all felt overused or incomplete. Because everything felt like this daydream colored borders with warm tones and retro filters as she glanced at Y/n. She felt like she was watching a show that she would never get tired of. Even if the show was in color or black and white, new or old, slow or fast, she would watch just to see her. Just her. 

“You do what?” Carol flicked Y/n’s forehead at her response. “Kidding - kidding.” Y/n said as she rubbed her forehead. Carol rolled her eyes and kissed Y/n’s head as she cuddled into her arms, legs tangled within the sheets. “I do love you.” Y/n kissed her hair as she combed it with her hand. “I know,” she whispered, hoping Carol would pick up on the secret reference. Because to Y/n, yeah, she’s worth a whole galaxy. 

It was the middle of the night when Steve woke up from a nightmare that shook him from his slumber. Rather than staying in bed to force himself to sleep, he got up and headed to the kitchen for a late night snack. 

Heading into the pantry, Steve pursed his lips noticing that Y/n’s cubby had been empty for weeks it seems like. The guilt that was slowly forming inside him kept building and building. Although he knew he could try to do something about it, the loyalty he had to his family - to Wanda. That was something he didn’t want to break. 

The relationship with Wanda and Steve was something similar to a father and daughter relationship. Steve had always wanted a kid of his own and Wanda had lost her father. The irony of it all just happened to work for the two. Even though Wanda nor Steve would admit it out loud, they viewed each other as the roles that needed to be filled in their lives. They needed each other regardless of titles.

But then there was Y/n. The troubled girl that made Steve absolutely nervous with how quick her and Wanda seemed to like each other. It absolutely didn’t help Steve’s case when the whole team found out about Y/n’s past. His anxiety had practically skyrocketed. It eventually led to a one on one talk with Wanda about how sometimes we need to protect ourselves before letting people in. 

But Y/n was still there. Breaking down Wanda’s walls. So just like any Dad would, Steve watched over. Making sure his girl was always happy and safe. So while Natasha may have refilled Wanda’ cubby and did her reports, Steve had carried Wanda to bed during nights she couldn’t sleep. He made her tea for times that she didn’t want to talk, which was often. He tucked her in at night and cuddled with her when she needed a shoulder to cry on. He was just there. 

But so was she. She was there whenever Wanda cried at night. She was there when Wanda would sometimes forget to eat after busying herself all day. She was there to take care of Wanda. She was there when Steve wasn’t. And that meant everything to Steve. So why couldn’t Steve be there for Y/n? 

There were a lot of unanswered questions roaming around Steve’s head. Rather than pondering more about them, he walked around the tower, eating a pack of cookies for himself. Just as he was turning the corner, he glanced towards the conference room to see Wanda asleep in front of her reports. However, the more alarming part was the girl that happened to be right in front of Wanda. Steve quickly grew on high alert and observed Y/n’s actions. However, after a couple minutes of harmless actions, Steve forced his shoulders to relax. “She’s just doing reports - calm down,” Steve thought. 

But he couldn’t calm down. The guilt had maneuvered it’s way back up to his throat as he actually noticed the pale state of the once bright girl. For someone that had literal fire abilities, she lacked the glow of any raging fire. Feeling nothing but guilt all over, Steve felt compelled to say something - anything. But he froze. He didn’t know what to say. 

However, the opportunity soon was lost as Y/n finished everyone’s stack of reports. Steve hid around the corner as Y/n passed him. Hearing a door close was when Steve stepped out of hiding. He glanced towards the direction of Y/n’s room, feeling every need to go to her. But his footsteps led him to Wanda. He picked her up and carried her to her room. Wanda will always be first in Steve’s heart. And nothing could change that. 

“We have to stop this treatment Tony.” Steve waltzed into Tony’s lab the very next day. For once, he couldn’t sleep for the remainder of the night. Y/n was all over his mind. The guilt was practically eating him alive. 

Tony rolled his eyes at Steve’s dramatic fashion for entrances. “Oh - good morning Tony - how are you - I’m actually pretty good.” Steve rolled his eyes as he stood in front of Tony, a hologram in between the two. 

“Cut the crap Tony - I’m being serious.” Steve crossed his arms. This needed to end. “And you think I’m not Rodgers?” Tony was quick to respond, already growing irritated by the conversation. 

“This isn’t right - none of this right.” Steve wiped the hologram to finally get a clear view of Tony as he grew frustrated by the second. Tony simply swiped it back, not wanting to deal with the issue. “Well maybe if she just quit - we wouldn’t need to worry about anything. It’s not my fault Fury hired Ms. Hydra - and if he finds out I fired her, he would not allow it at all.” 

“But can’t you see that your stupid plan isn’t working? All we’re doing is abusing the girl.” Steve wiped the hologram again but Tony simply walked to a different station and continued his work. Angry with his response, Steve walked around the table and stood beside Tony. 

“This needs to end Tony,” Steve said through his gritted teeth. The man was clenching his jaw so hard, it almost looked as if he was going to break his teeth. However, Tony quickly glared at Steve at the mention of his threat. 

“Don’t you fucking dare. Can’t you actually see that I’m trying to protect Wanda.” Steve tilted his head at the awful reasoning for his actions. “How is this protecting Wanda? Why are you even trying to protect her?” 

Tony slammed his fist into the table, feeling his anger rising by the second. “We - no - I need to protect her Steve!”

“Why Tony? Why?” 

“Because I’m the goddamn reason her parents and her country is dead. I’m the reason that everything she ever loved is gone. I’m the reason for her sadness. She, of all people, deserves happiness. And I sure as hell won’t let anyone else hurt her anymore - no more Steve.” Tony didn’t give Steve a chance as he walked out the facility needing a day drink more than ever. 

It was lunch time and all Wanda could think about was the need to cook paprikash. She didn’t know when the last time she had actually cooked. And seeing as the majority of the team was on missions, she could actually cook without interruptions or lingering eyes. 

Walking into the kitchen, Wanda tied her hair up and started to take out the necessary ingredients for the meal. It was when she was talking the spices out when Vision had appeared out of nowhere, nearly scaring the girl. “Vision!” 

Sensing a slight rise in her heart rate and anger, Vision had quickly apologized. “Sorry Wanda.” Wanda shook her head and quickly resumed prepping. “I will try to work on making my presence known. If I may ask, what is it that you’re doing?” 

“I’m making paprikash.” Vision’s mind grew curious at the word and quickly searched his database for it. “I see. A traditional Sokovian food.” Wanda didn’t realize it, but she had felt a little annoyed at the synthezoid’s presence. It wasn’t anything he did, but Wanda desperately wanted alone time for herself. 

Before she could ask, Vision had said, “Good morning Y/n.” Wanda’s quickly grew wide as she avoided glancing in Y/n’s direction. She hadn’t stayed in the tense position though as Vision announced, “Oh - it seems she had left before saying hi back.” 

Feeling ever more frustrated with people’s presence, Wanda was about to ask him to leave but noticed the confusion written all over his face and didn’t hesitate to ask, “What is it Vision?” Vision pursed his lips and contemplated his words. It was visibly obvious to see that he was trying to wrack up what to say. “I think...it’s just…” He sighed knowing that this was going to be a sensitive subject to the witch but knowing everything she's been through, lying was not the best option. “It’s just that Y/n-” Wanda quickly cut Vision off in desperation to know what Y/n had done to Vision. If the girl were to even lay a finger on him, she was sure to deal with it herself.  “What did she do? Did she hurt you? I swear-” Seeing her eyes turn red, Vision immediately explained himself. “-No no no. It’s not that, the complete opposite actually.” Wanda’s eyes slowly turned back to normal. When Vision saw that her heart rate was close to normal, he continued. “It’s just that...Y/n’s vitals have been decreasing in a fluctuating matter. Some days it would be a small decrease, but some days it would be a big decrease. Overall, her health has been poor.” Vision looked back at where Y/n once stood. If he hadn’t quickly analyzed her, he wouldn’t have noticed that today’s vitals was record worst. “Although she does have physical injuries, she seems to continue to radiate pain throughout her body even when those injuries have healed. It starts through her head and it spreads like a radio wave through her nervous system. I’ve done my calculations and the leading cause could be migraines...” Vision soon was in deep thought, trying to recalculate just to make sure what he was about to say was correct. “...but it doesn’t make sense.” 

Wanda tilted her head. Processing this information was hard seeing as at her darkest moments, she wanted nothing but Y/n to be hurt. She deserved it for all the pain she caused her to go through. But hearing it now? That was a different story. It was like an internal conflict was going through her. Should she even care about Y/n’s health? “What doesn’t make sense?” Vision looked hard into Wanda’s eyes as he said, “Migraines shouldn’t cause her heart to stop multiple times.” 

Wanda stared at Vision, processing the information that the love of her life is practically dying. “A-are you sure?” Vision slowly nodded. “However, after some calculations, I do believe she will be okay. She only needs a good source of food for her healing regeneration to fully heal this.” Wanda relaxed at Vision’s words. Although she has been through immense pain through these past couple months, having Y/n gone from her life like that would hurt more than anything. 

Before Vision could continue his explanation, F.R.I.D.A.Y stated, “Emergency alert. All available Avengers please head to the quinjet per the request of Mr. Stark and Mr. Rogers.” Quickly, the two headed to the plane as the important part of Vision’s explanation was missed. Little did Wanda know, Y/n would not heal any time soon. 

The trio arrived on the quinjet and wasted no time trying to figure out the mission that was ahead of them. There was a serious feel in the atmosphere sensing that this had to be bad. There was no way that it couldn’t have been. Because if it wasn’t, they certainly wouldn’t have invited Y/n to this mission. 

Lately, the girl has been assigned to only solo missions. Y/n couldn’t quite remember the last time that she was on a mission with any team member nevermind the fact with the whole team. 

“Backup is needed immediately after touch down. Vision and Wanda, meet up with Steve and Sam at the Northeast corridor. Y/n, you are assigned to the entrance,” Tony stated through the intercom. 

The feeling in Y/n’s stomach worsened. Not only was she hungry and sleep deprived, she didn’t also have a partner with her. It also didn’t help the fact that the flashes have gotten worse. Y/n couldn’t help but pray for a miracle. After all, they were dealing with the very people Y/n hated - Hydra. 

Y/n couldn’t quite tell when things on the mission got to shit. Maybe it was the fact that as soon as they touched down and went to their assigned positions, Y/n received a massive swarm of Hydra agents. It didn’t help that her health regeneration was not at its peak or these agents actually were decently trained. Or was it during the third wave, that was currently happening, where Y/n tested the limits of her body. 

Seeing the onslaught of agents coming her way, Y/n decided it was time to test out her new ability. She rapidly swung her right arm, building momentum as the fire within her right side blazed. As soon as the enemies were close, she released a fire tornado in their path. It had managed to take out at least half of the wave, but more and more kept coming. 

Pressing her comms, Y/n said, “Can someone send back up my way?! There’s too many for me to handle.” Y/n kicked back the agent that was about to stab her in the back, but was too distracted to the point a different agent was able to cut her leg. “Fuck.” 

Y/n quickly released an ice wall that at first glance, appeared to be the same height as the Great Wall of China. She hoped the barrier would give her enough time for her backup to appear. Focusing all her energy on her fireside, Y/n aimed at any agent near her, using her arm as a flamethrower. 

However, worry immediately grew when no one had responded to her call within a couple minutes. Before she could request again, Nat had spoken bitterly in the comms, “On my way.” Sighing in relief, Y/n continued to fight off the agents the best she could. 

But no matter how hard she tried to buy herself time, it seemed that Natasha was taking forever to come. It had gotten to the point that multiple lashes already appeared. Her healing regeneration couldn’t keep up at all. Not only that, but her body was either giving up from exhaustion or blood loss. It was only during the last couple agents when Natasha had shown up and quickly killed the remainder. 

Y/n glanced at the assassin and noticed the lack of any injuries on her and it was as if she barely broke a sweat. “What happened? I almost got killed.” 

Natasha glared at Y/n as she responded with, “I helped Bucky and Rhodey on the way, they needed it.” Y/n swallowed the lump in her throat knowing the redhead in front of her had practically lied. If backup was needed, it was always voiced through comms. 

Even if Y/n had wanted to confront Natasha about it, she couldn’t. Natasha had already left to head to the quinjet. Y/n simply limped a couple feet from her. When Y/n arrived, it seemed that everyone else was already prepared for take off. Feeling ever more guilty, Y/n simply sat at the closet seat to the entrance that was away from the team. But something inside her broke even more noticing the lack of any questions or concerns from the team in regards to her injuries. 

Not even bothering to buckle up, Y/n sulked in her thoughts when she realized, “Why doesn’t anyone care about me?” 

Tag List: @halobaby​ @arelyitsherec8​ @blackxwidowsxwife​ @cristin-rjd​ @madamevirgo​ @trikruismybitch​ @paradiselost916​ @mmmmokdok​ @morbid-gaymer​ @dailyavengering​ @itsnottilly​ @helloalycia​ @randomshyperson​ @tomy5girls​ @daenerys713​ @ensorcellme​ @lezzzbehonesthere​ @imagine-reblog​ @sighsam​ 

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #fake memories

[your-turn-to-role]

well into the final CR1 arc and I have decided to become a Sprigg stan account

LOOK BIG MOOD

darin de paul is my favourite guest on cr, hands down

like...

1) the sheer fantastic comedic energy he brought, no other guest comes close, you can see how unexpectedly delighted all the other players are just to see him work, and matt's having a lot of fun playing demistrik too, like... god i've tried to bring sprigg's energy into some of my own npcs while dming because there really is no character more fun to play than an absolutely unpredictable old man with weird strong opinions about everything

(and quirks like the "let's come up with a mnemonic device in case we need to jump him", that are way longer than the phrase itself, in full earshot of everyone, just, fantastic)

2) i love the legacy just sprigg as a character brings? i don't know if you know this already if you're just watching it, but, sprigg's been alone for 37 years because darin de paul last played sprigg 37 years ago, in a campaign with matt's mother

like! he's full of history because he literally is full of history, and it's a legacy that's deeply personal to the show by nature of being a family relation to the dm!

3) [and, spoilers for 106 and 107, don't know where you're up to] i've talked about this before i'm sure but... darin de paul could not have brought a better character for everyone's character arcs if he tried

especially vax and keyleth

bc like... what they're dealing with right now is keyleth's worst fear. she was hesitant about getting in a relationship at all because she knew her lifespan was in the thousands of years and she didn't want to get close to someone and then outlive them. she didn't want to let things matter to her and then risk losing them, and vax helped her get away from that

he convinced her it was worth it, and then this happened. they know one way or another only one of them makes it out of this alive, and it's probably not vax. (he even has the line in 107, "i know the chance you took on me, and i've confirmed your worst fears and then some")

and neither of them are okay, meeting sprigg, bc it's that huge reminder, because sprigg ran away, and his friends died, and he forgot all their names

and everyone else thinks sprigg is just talking nonsense but keyleth looks at him and sees a mirror, she understands him perfectly and it's terrifying

and like. vax and keyleth haven't talked about this, at this point, because they don't know how to, and they're scared to even face each other. and i think, had sprigg not showed up right here, they might have done that for all the time they had left. because neither of them knew how to face this, it was just too overwhelming

but here he is. keyleth's worst possible ending. alone, left with half a mind, paranoid, stuck in this hut in the forest building traps. everyone he ever cared about has faded from his mind. and vox machina, they just found out percy and vex got married in secret, and while scanlan's teasing them, vax and keyleth are angry and silently crying in a corner, because they can't ever have that, and what do they do in this meantime, where vax is a walking ghost and they know that time's almost up, and keyleth is so desperate not to be alone?

(and the gods, too, sprigg hates ioun, even though he's her champion, he doesn't think she ever helped him and he'd be better off without her. and keyleth never understood how the raven queen helped vax, she only saw the ways in which he got hurt, and she's never been one for gods either)

but those things aren't gone. none of them are gone, sprigg's just been distracted from them. he does come to remember them, with the right help, and that's the first spark of hope for keyleth. for both of them, because he is vax and keyleth in one, he's been the lone survivor, but he keeps his friends in his heart, and he chooses to fulfill his duties to ioun and stay with her as her champion. it's reassuring vax, too, that he's not just walking into oblivion.

and it's that that grants them the courage to face up to this and talk to each other, and actually maybe be somewhat okay with this

and i could be here all day if i detail everyone, but to briefly go into it, percy and scanlan too

because ioun's library is an important step in percy's arc, which has always been about legacy. he's deeply concerned with legacy above everything, and has been absolutely devastated by both the loss of his family, his city, and their family history (matt mentions at one point the briarwoods burned a lot of the family records and percy looks so angry at that), and the fact that, under the influence of a demon, he then turned his own legacy into one of mass murder. there's a lot of important steps in percy's character arc but all of them relate in some way to, what came before me, and what do i leave for others

and this is the first spark of hope he's ever seen! he argues with keyleth in 56 about the importance of monuments, they're not about pride, they're about remembering those who came before (and, again, percy and keyleth's arcs, incredibly interlinked), and percy has none. everything that makes him has been deliberately destroyed by someone, and that's incredibly difficult for him to deal with. but here, in this library, is a record of everyone who ever lived. he doesn't have to shoulder the responsibility and guilt of turning the sole legacy of hundreds of years of family history into one of destruction. because these records are permanent, no matter what happens, his family mattered, because they're here, and no amount of fuck ups on his part can destroy that

and scanlan, scanlan's singled out by sprigg immediately. and that may just be because he's the only other gnome present, but sprigg was right, they do have a connection. because scanlan ran away. he saw the tide turning into things he wasn't ready to face up to, and he did exactly what sprigg did, and didn't care about the consequences. and he's now realising how badly that hurt vox machina

but he has something sprigg doesn't, which is that his friends are still alive. sprigg's friends died because of his betrayal, but vox machina are here to give him a second chance. and this is the episode where he really steps up. he sees that, he makes a conscious decision to not be like sprigg, and for the first time in his life, he takes responsibility. and it's scanlan stepping up that saves them

#this is like four meta posts in one so i apologise if it's rambly #but like seriously the impact darin de paul had on the story was INCREDIBLE #cr1 #c1e105 #c1e106 #sprigg #vax'ildan #keyleth #scanlan shorthalt #percy de rolo #crit role cast #ask #text #meta #cr thoughts

[a-wild-rosette]

Hey saw your 'Ranboo Negative' post about how you don't think he's a good character? (i'm sure that's what you said) and i was wondering if you wanted to expand on that?

(no pressure i'm just not the biggest fan of him either and like hearing people who agree with me lmao)

Hi anon my beloved.

I don't usually write crit but I'm mad enough today so :D here we go :D

So I'll admit that his entire like, enderwalk mystery and such doesn't engage me as much because mystery isn't my most favorite genre and I just feel like there are too many questions and mysteries keep piling up on top of each other. But like, that's probably just a personal preference thing.

But like on a character development, especially emotional and the way the character interact with the world? Yeah not into that. Here's why.

1. People excuse his actions too much and there is literally no consequence on Ranboo for his actions whatsoever.

c!Ranboo is the type of person who is nice, but not kind. The kind of person that stands for nothing and therefore falls for nothing. Instead, other people suffer the consequence of his actions.

Like Ranboo gave Techno back his weapons and stood by and watched at people were tortured by Techno and Tommy. Twice, may I add, with Fundy - one of Ranboo's supposedly closest friends, and Connor - an innocent bystander. No one ever calls him out on it, and he can go on and deny what he did (or didn't do, more like) was not bad. Or like the whole ordeal with Doomsday. He basically talks a big game of being loyal and choosing people, but in Doomsday the only person he chose was himself and his own safety.

He betrayed L'Manberg. He left Tubbo and Tommy to fight for their death even though he said he was going to fight with them. He abandoned every other person who cared about him, only to go and team up with the people who destroyed the country of the FOUR PEOPLE who had always wanted to protect him (Tubbo, Tommy, Niki, Fundy). He refused to pick a side, and by that, he picked the side of the tyrant. In the face of injustice, inaction is an action in itself. But yeah, while everyone else lost everything, Ranboo has everything to gain. He has powerful allies, a home that he can fill to the brim with richness, and in the end, everyone who he has hurt? Tubbo goes out of his way to protect him against Quackity's (reasonable, albeit quite harsh) criticism. He's still friends with Tommy, you know, despite being friends with one of the dudes who blew up Tommy's country. Even Fundy and Niki still care about him in the aftermath. He didn't lose anything - everyone else in L'Manberg did.

Somehow, he never had to stop and reconsider his stance on everything and who he supports, he never had to stop and considered "hey, maybe i'm not as good of a person as I want to be". AND HE COULD DO IT because no one calls him out on his action (or inaction, more like). It's always "oh no he's a victim because he has memory issues". Cool motive, still murder :) He's still a person with autonomy, and "peer pressure" is still not a good enough excuse to hurting people. And you know for sure that, even if Ranboo hurt someone *again*, it's gonna still be "justified" by whoever he didn't hurt :) (Not naming names here but it starts with Ranboo and ends with apologists). Actually, just look at the outpost situation with Las Nevadas right now :D

You see, Ranboo can do things that are really just... frustrating at best and downright annoying at best, and the amount of people going hearteyes at him still is enough to overwhelm any meaningful criticism in character :)

2. In fact, the consequence of Ranboo's actions fall onto other people. Or like, people justify Ranboo’s actions by demonising other characters. C!Ranboo does this too. 

Not just other people blaming Ranboo's actions on him being "peer pressured", Not just like, people getting hurt because Ranboo didn’t support them. But Ranboo himself pushing the blame on other people to maintain the view that he was blameless. 

c!Ranboo wants to be a “good” person so bad that he went to a lot of length to justify himself, blaming any wrongdoings on other characters, putting himself in the victim role to explain away his actions. He wants to be a good person, a “reasonable person” who would bring “peace” to the server and resolve conflict, but he refuses to actually do the hard things, because being “good” means taking a stance, being “good” is hard and needs effort, efforts that Ranboo does not have the drive to put in. So instead, he chose the easier thing: explain his actions away. He wasn’t bad, he couldn’t control other people’s actions. He was just a victim. Oh no! 

Like when he called Fundy a coward for wanting to team up, for “choosing people, not sides” - the exact things Ranboo preached. Like when he yelled at Tommy for when his plan to kill Dream failed, even though he and Tubbo helped Tommy without ever trying to stop him or make him more well prepared. He denied any of his involvement in any plan that went wrong and pushed the blame onto the people around him. And even in the Las Nevadas dispute just now? He also subtly hinted that Tubbo was the one who made the decision, not him. He’s the reasonable one here. As if he didn’t help Tubbo. As if he didn’t antagonise Las Nevadas right along his partner. 

And I would be more lenient with this trait if it weren’t also supported by literally everyone around Ranboo. Like, take the time when Phil told Fundy he had “a lot of redeeming to do” and expressed that Tubbo also had things to make up for, and then compared Ranboo with them as the poor, manipulated victim. Deliberation or no, that comparison push a narrative between Ranboo and Tubbo and Fundy, between the “good” victim and the “evil” perpetrator. Or, like, take the times where everyone blames c!Dream for manipulating c!Ranboo, even though there is no hint about that actually happening. Ranboo’s “victim” narrative keeps being reinforced, which, again, gives him no space and no dissonance to actually reconsider his stance. 

3. There's no stake for c!Ranboo's character.

When L'Manberg was still around, Ranboo clearly showed his loyalty didn't lie with the country. He had no emotional connect to the place, and he failed to see how the country meant so much to the people who built it and fought for it and saw it rise and fall. Even his emotional connection to Tubbo and Tommy was chalked up, by himself, as "they were nice to me, so i'm nice back". Relationships, in season 2 at least, were just a tradeoff of favors and niceties to Ranboo, and whether it was the case or not, Ranboo convinced himself that was the case. This gave him a detachment from *everyone*, because at the end of the day, the emotional stake wasn't there, loyalty was not in ss2!Ranboo's vocabulary.

And right now? Ranboo is in full life, he has a whole chest of totems. The closest thing he has to a stake is Tubbo and Michael, but like, meta-wise? I don't think Tubbo is dying anytime soon, and Michael is also probably safe because no one would be cruel enough to use Michael as a plot, when cc!Ranboo and cc!Tubbo are clearly really attached. Ranboo is rich, powerful, with a powerful husband, and a whole fucking lot of plot armor. And while, yes, his attachment to Tubbo and Michael is a positive development (and the *only* positive development actually), it's also paled a bit when Ranboo is still allied with the people who destroyed Tubbo's home, not to mention he was there against Tubbo when the Syndicate threatened him. The emotional connection between him and Tubbo was still not strong enough for Ranboo to reconsider the people he supports.

I’m gonna be patient for now, but honestly the way the character is being excused over and over both in canon and by the fandom is really frustrating to watch. 

#dream smp #dream smp analysis #c!ranboo critical #long post #rose's analysis