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decolonize-the-left · 7 months

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I've noticed a rise in radfems/TERFs in feminism tags and more specifically trying to rebrand as The Real Feminism or True Feminism since it's "for the girlies" or whatever.

I am begging you all to help me bury them.

Because as a teen who grew up during the peak of exclusionary "bi/pan/aces aren't vaild" and "kill all men" era where the concept of misandry THRIVED I'm telling you this feels extremely similar.

And radfem/terf ideology got mainstream from those sentiments being so popular and so easy to tap into. It was framed as being righteous since men were oppressors.

"Women are good and men are just mean oppressors! Look at everything they've done!" is such a common sentiment in those circles.

It also completely lacks critical feminist thought.

And we're STILL dealing with the affects of it over a decade later.

.....So let's talk about JKR since she's currently the Figurehead and favorite of the movement that's trying to rewrite feminist history.

It's 2023. It's a year before a US election where Project 2025 and Trump would happily create a road for trans and queer folks to be imprisoned if not worse.

Which is I'm sure why JKR has been photographed and interacting with multiple members from The Heritage Foundation, people whove spoken for them, and people who attended theyre meetings. She even enjoyed watching Magdalen, who who she credits for becoming a TERF.

But do you know who Magdalen is? Or what else she was saying? What about any of the other people in the photo? Do you know the scope of what JKR was internalizing and how bad it was? Do you know she has ties to conservative anti-abortion groups?

Do you know what The Heritage Foundation? Probably not and they're the worst so let me tell you why it's such a huge red flag for her and other so-called TERFs and radfems to be associated with them.

Because I can tell you right now she heard a lot of things from those people and there is no fucking way in hell that it was just about queer people or just some sex-specific concerns. And it wasn't just passive bigotry.

Anyone who doesn't conform to the idea of a white, straight nuclear family (re: single mothers, leftists, immigrants, gay couples, etc) is made out to be an enemy of the state.

Anyone they can justify as a "national threat." Yes, they call us all a national threat on their site, their book, and the pamphlets they pass out to politicians. The details are listed on their website including the Mandate For Leadership which is their instruction guide for the next president.

I'm not exaggerating when I say it calls for genocide, prison camps, and eugenic cleansing.

Several people in that photo don't even support abortion, a basic women's rights that JKR claims to care about deeply.

JKR was consuming white supremacist dogma under the guise of feminism.

And she's not willing to admit or correct it which is where the problem lies. She won't even admit to herself that she was fooled or that it's bad or hypocritical.

My concern is that she is not the only person who's fallen for it and there are more everyday.

So it's very important to me y'all learn how to filter out what Actual Feminism is in this age where literal fascism is attempting to take its place.

Firstly,

Real, actual feminism will be welcoming to EVERYONE

Because the patriarchy doesn't only affect women or cis people or white women and it's an insult to every previous feminist icon to say otherwise.

Feminists have been fighting for decades to unite people under the concept that Patriarchy is a system that will be brought down with allyship and solidarity.

They've been fighting so hard and so long to prove that everyone deserves the same rights as men.

That women are just as capable as men and shouldn't be stopped from entering fields of study and sports dominated by men. They've been fighting to prove that women are just as capable and smart as any man is, that men would benefit from it dismantling patriarchy too.

Women fought side by side with the queer community to get Roe v Wade passed in 1973. You know why? Because despite what radfems and TERFs will tell you trans women benefit from protecting and standing up for bodily autonomy.

Do not let bigots tear drive a wedge between two groups that experience gender based oppression and would benefit from the same exact rights.

We have changed history together and they're terrified we'll do it again.

A screenshot from the largest feminist organization active right now, The National Organization of Women.

Notice how the T is included. They even posted this video two years ago when LGBT and specifically trans rights started really coming under attack in 2022.

Trans women are women.

Trans men are men.

ALL women deserve rights.

Every gender deserves equality and fairness.

And feminism is for all of us or it is for none of us.

Because nobody deserves to be treated the way patriarchy treats us.

#feminism #feminist #equality #gender #trans rights are womens rights are human rights #trans rights #womens rights #human rights #intersectional feminism #solidarity #leftist

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thebroccolination · 3 months

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Make Sure to Double-Check Labels

I've seen this phenomenon a lot in Thai BL fandom over the years, so I just wanted to make a very gentle post to encourage people to always check their sources before using a sexuality label for anyone.

If someone hasn't given a label, I think it's best to respect that. Please don't give them one.

If your favorite actor is a cis man who presents himself with a feminine flair and has previously dated men, you may see people referring to him as gay. But before you follow suit, please look into whether he's actually used that label for himself.

There's a very fine line you can walk thinking, "Oh, but I can tell," before you jazz-hands yourself into the world of stereotyping.

My go-to example for this is Earth ("Cooheart"). My information might be out of date, but the only label I've ever heard directly from him was on an Instagram live where, if I'm remembering correctly, someone asked if he's gay. He said he's "LGBT." Yet, there are scores of fans who have been casually calling him "gay" for years ever since before I joined the fandom. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. Maybe he used that term at some point. But as far as I know, he hasn't, so I just call him queer. (And that's only because calling a person all four letters of "LGBT" isn't something we do in English. It's more commonly used in Thai as a loan word to mean "queer" from what I've been told by friends who speak Thai.)

A more recent example is Supanut. In an interview, he said he dated a girl he met online when he was about thirteen or so, then he dated a boy when he realized boys could feel attraction to each other, and then later a man. Supanut didn't use a label for himself, and yet people have started calling him "Bi King." There are plenty of gay people who have dated other genders for various reasons, there are ace and aro people who realized their orientations later. The point is, unless Supanut himself gives a label, the fact that he dated a girl, a boy, and a man only means that he dated a girl, a boy, and a man.

On the other side of the labeling, Krist is called straight pretty universally, likely because he blew up on an IG story once and denied being gay after people kept harassing him to come out as Singto's boyfriend. However, as far as I or any of the long-term fans I've spoken with about it know, Krist has never used any label for his sexuality. The closest I've seen are when he answers "what's your type of girl" questions and the time he said something like, "If I ever date a man, I'll be open about it because I want my fans to know that part of my life," so he seems openminded more than anything specific.

Then you've got Prem who once said in an interview (paraphrasing) that he never thought of dating men before he worked in BL, but now he doesn't care about gender when considering romantic partners. But, as far as I know, he's never used a label.

I've noticed that a lot of Thai actors are private about the labels they use—if they use any! There are a fair number of queer actors, and friends living in Thailand have said that that information is more commonly known among domestic fans, but whether or not it becomes information for the global public to have is up to each individual actor to decide.

Years ago, Fluke Natouch used the label "gay" for himself in an interview about his casting in Until We Meet Again. If I'm remembering correctly, he asked New (the director) if him being openly gay would be an issue when promoting the series. Presumably he was concerned because the agency he'd just left wanted him to be more discreet about his sexuality, and he's been independent ever since.

Even now, sexuality is still a very difficult thing to navigate, especially if you're young or in the spotlight or part of a widely conservative culture. The internet is rife with misinformation, so always, always make sure to check your sources. Unfortunately, we can't just trust that everyone is doing their due diligence, and I think it's an act of true kindness and deep respect to make sure your facts about people are in order before you speak of them. Especially when you're in someone else's cultural backyard, and especially when their safety and mental health can be so easily compromised by what people say about and to them.

NOTE: I used the above examples based on what I know. It's entirely likely there's additional nuance and context in every case, so if you have additional resources, please link them! It can be difficult to stay on top of things in a language you're still in the very beginning stages of learning, so if we can help each other, we'll be better off than trying to keep up-to-date on our own.

#thai bl #thai actor #thai actors #sexuality

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molsno · 7 months

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this is kind of random but do you ever feel like people treat transmisogyny as a lesbian-specific problem, and if so, does it bother you as a trans lesbian? i don’t really mean general criticisms of transmisogyny within lesbian spaces, but rather people who seem to talk about transmisogyny like lesbians *specifically* perpetrate it the most, or are more capable of perpetrating it than anyone. i feel like this has become a popular trend in queer discourse (usually from tme non-lesbian ppl) to demonize or ‘other’ lesbians, & i think it extends from contempt toward “man-hating lesbians” but lumping trans girls under “men” to legitimize it, but i don’t know if i just notice it more because i’m tme, and i don’t want to overstep or make anyone feel like I’m discouraging discussions of transmisogyny by saying this isn’t a lesbian-exclusive issue. i know the ‘political lesbian’ movement was predominantly driven by straight cis women (and a smaller but non-zero number of cis bi and lesbian women) who laid a lot of groundwork for associating bioessentialism with lesbianism but is it unfair to say “lesbians aren’t an essentialist hate group and shouldn’t be generalized/singled out”? like is this a trend you’ve noticed as a tma lesbian, or am i looking at this through a misguided lens? sorry for rambling on, feel free to ignore and i hope your night/day is going well <3

I think that definitely happens to an extent, but that's mostly because tme non-lesbians believe in lesbophobic stereotypes that lesbians are more likely to be terfs and that most terfs are lesbians. it definitely bothers me as a lesbian, because not even being trans exempts me from these stereotypes. I've literally had one of my former best friends tell me they didn't trust lesbians, including me, because terfs invalidated their gender as a nonbinary person. like. it's vile.

so yeah, I think it's fair to ask people not to generalize about lesbians, but at the same time, I've also seen firsthand, many times, that transmisogyny is still prevalent among tme lesbians. the critiques tme non-lesbians make are mostly just blatant lesbophobia (and transmisogyny by assuming lesbians are talking about trans women when they say men), but over time I've become increasingly disillusioned by tme lesbians after seeing just how willing they are to throw tma lesbians under the bus. as just one example, a few months ago, there was this bi lesbian blocklist that was going around on here, and regardless of your feelings on that particular topic, the fact of the matter is that almost every single person on that list was transfem. trans women who have never identified as bi lesbians or even said anything publicly about bi lesbians (including several of my close friends) wound up on that list for seemingly no reason, and found themselves blocked by most of the tme lesbians on this website. you would think that people who put "tme" in their bios and reblog posts about transmisogyny would at least make an effort to stop and think about the implications of this, but it turns out that a sizable number of tme lesbians will exile a bunch of trans women from their community based on blind accusations of them being predatory men invading the lesbian community without a second thought.

that being said, the behaviors I just described aren't really unique to tme lesbians either. tme people of all genders and orientations have been doing the exact same things for decades. so what I'm saying is, although I don't think it's fair to generalize or single out lesbians as being particularly transmisogynistic, that doesn't mean tme lesbians should be pretending that they're incapable of transmisogyny and insisting they don't need to hold each other accountable for perpetrating it.

#ask #acelez #transmisogyny

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our-lesboy-experience · 3 months

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As a transfem lesboy (platonically), and the lesboy flag designer, I noticed these discourses around lesbian/transfem labels are usually monogender-minded and hegemony-based. Ppl are too afraid of odd weirdos. It's definitely anti queer. This makes me feel more adventurous, because it's countercultural, subversive, and kinda revolutionary. If we are bothering the cistem/cisnormative society, then we are in the right side.

Also, platonic sapphism and oriented aroace lesbians are invalidated so often because they reduce our attractions into just being friends. When we can many times be partnering lesbianly

ive had a lot of first hand experience with these people (sadly) and the more ive thought about it the more rooted in plain old bigotry this focus on and policing of lesbian identity. like, on so many levels. it's always about lesbians, even if there is a gay counterpart to it, it's still all people can talk about- butch lesbians, trans lesbians, he/him lesbians, nonbinary lesbians, ace/aro leabians, and now bi and multigender lesbians......unsurprisingly there's a lot of biphobia, exorsexism, misogyny and especially transmisogyny that goes into these discourses every time. now being perpetuated by people who claim to be allies. it's weird, how often they claim to be trans friendly, but as soon as anything pushes past certain boundaries, becomes "too weird," the narrative suddenly is "male predator trying to invade women and lesbian spaces by pretending to be one." it's like they heard "trans women are women" and just nodded their head and did nothing to learn or work on handling possible transmisogynistic beliefs. and then think it's right to even say things like that because they're leveling it towards multigenders and transmascs this time......

Im being serious I've seen that exact sentence said with a haphazard "cis" male thrown into it, like some sort of bandaid slapped onto a crack in the dam. im not transfem, but I've seen enough times that terfs have come onto their posts agreeing with them, and trans women pointing out how even if they aren't directing it towards them specifically, it makes them uncomfortable and doesn't feel safe around people who say those things

It still seems that people can't break away from the binary and established boxes that everyone has to follow, and a part of me doesn't exactly blame them for that kind of thinking because it's ingrained into society, but also harassing and stalking people whose identities you don't understand is a bit, well. by that point people should know better

#discourse #asks #lesboy #our lesboy experience #transmisogyny

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milkbreadtoast · 1 year

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Your ouran thoughts are so *chef's kiss* thank you for pointing out the whole haruhi gender thing bc as a trans person myself it always rubbed me the wrong way too how it got treated

🥹🥹🥹THANK U FOR READING MY OURAN THOUGHTS... this is 1 of the first animes ive ever watched so its rly formative/influential for me and ive rewatched it several times over the yrs and noticed more things and watched my opinions of the show and charas grow and change... Haruhi is 1 of my first encounters(actually i think the first) w a nonbinary chara in media and I love everything about their chara and the way they were written (and I love the whole concept of them being the protag of a shoujo harem anime despite being nonbinary and very aro/ace... a host who woos girls at that)... I especially love the way she doesnt change herself for anyone, keeps being authentically herself the entire anime in a way that touches and changes the rest of the cast too... like 1 little detail that symbolizes this well is the personal pronouns they use in jp... Altho they tried using "ore" a few times causing tamaki to freak out (HE SHOULDVE LET HER😒).. the main personal pronoun they use is "jibun"(lit: self, oneself), and it's a gender neutral pronoun... and importantly, they consistently use "jibun", whether it's before becoming a host(in middle school, when passing/being seen as a "girl"), as a host(while passing/being seen as a "boy"), and just out in daily life... Just as she doesnt change herself or act differently in all those contexts, and is just authentically herself, regardless of how people see her... and consistent with her belief that gender and outward appearance doesn't matter, it's one's personality/who they are underneath that does...

Haruhi and Tamaki form strong narrative parallels to each other because they both suddenly came into the lives of all the other host club members, were able to see them for who they really are (and not just the facade they put on for others), and just by being their genuine selves, touch and impact them deeply, even alter the course of their lives (some more than others, like tamaki for kyouya and haruhi being the first 1 to be able to differentiate the twins)..... And this is why I think it's... unfortunate that Tamaki was written the way he was, as so close-minded in his views on gender(and sexuality), bc 1 of the core traits of his character is being otherwise open minded and extremely empathetic... the dichotomy of his chara is despite being a "vain idiot" obsessed w looks and himself, he still shows this surprising depth and ability to read others... And of course I don't think it's surprising at all for him to have these transphobic and homophobic views, given he's a teen with a rich sheltered upbringing and all, so it was prob just. Sigh. ingrained in him bc thats how he was raised but.... narratively, with the way his character is otherwise so open (and bro is literally bi too😭) it really is unfortunate... Like his openmindedness is 1 of the strongpoints of his character (like how he wasn't put off at all when he saw Kyouya's "true face"...) And I think it goes against his nature, so I hope that once he gets older he starts to listen to the trans/nb/gnc ppl in his life and change his views... LIKE HARUHI... WHICH IS WHY ITS SO STRANGE. That he never once listens to them abt their gender the entire series... and he cares abt her sm YET doesnt listen and repeatedly, stubbornly tells her shes wrong and that she needs to be more feminine.... ugh. Yeah it's painful... And then with the way the manga ends with haruhi marrying tamaki and having babies and growing her hair out and becoming more feminine, as if it was all just a phase... *Agonized* ...Tbh I really do think. That this is the product of the (presumably cis) author not knowing enough abt the trans(/queer/lgbt) experience to know what to do with the amazing, nonconforming characters they created... I really do feel like if Ouran was an anime made today, and the author was more informed about LGBT issues and experiences, Tamaki could've been written differently and maybe more accepting and open toward's Haruhi's views on gender... Sigh... Anyway rip. Tfw a work so virulently transphobic and homophobic and a product of its time can also have some of the most compelling trans and gay characters and have sm poignant scenes that stand the test of time... Ouran my problematic beloved 🥲🥹

#SORRY FOR THE LONGASS RANT AND SRRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO ANSWER #and ty for liking my ouran thoughts 🥲 hope u dont mind that i took this as an excuse to dump more of them....#OURAN MY BELOVED #MY PROBLEMATIC 2006 FAV #ask

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party-gilmore · 1 year

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Interesting things I've noticed about (my own, obvs) gender fluidity:

Girl Mode is bi as hell. Guy Mode is always exclusively gay. I just think that's interesting. And doesn't contribute to my bi imposter syndrome at all.

Being Sleepy (not tired - the vibe of "sleepy" specifically) instantly triggers Girl Mode. Not ever once have I been a Sleepy Man, only a Sleepy Girl.

"Woman" feels weird but "Girl" feels fine, while "Man" feels fine but "Boy" feels weird??? Aunt good Uncle bad, thoughts kf Wife/Mother good Husband/Dad bad, but Brother good Sister bad??? Nephew good Niece bad??? My Boyfriend good My Girlfriend bad??? Son and Daughter both neutral??? Why???

Being Horny triggers Guy Mode. Feeling Slutty triggers Girl Mode. It's a very fine distinction, but it is there. It is strange when both hit at the same time it feels like cross the ghostbuster streams.

I'm androgynous enough that I can shift to a decent, base level of either femme or masc kind easy, but it's also frustrating because i can never be AS femme/masc as I want to be. I would almost rather be All The Way one way and have to work harder the other direction, instead of having to work hard in both.

I don't like the term non-binary for me. I am VERY binary. 93% of the time it is explicitly one or the other. The remaining 7% is the rare times both hit at once, except there's no blurring it's not like mixing blue and red into purple its more like that dress that looks both blue and white at the same time.

However using trans feels weird because sometimes I'm not. Trans feels like you have changed from one to the other but sometimes it's a change back to my agab so it's not really a change at all? That one post like "trans means anyone who doesn't 100% align with their agab" helped me get a little more comfortable with it and I'm comfy displaying like my little trans flag bead lizard but something about the WORD just doesn't sit right

This is why I love Queer. Queer queerey queer queer queer. It's the only word I've got that gets the point across but doesn't leave me feeling like i need to Explain Myself like "well okay so sometimes I'm bi but sometimes I'm gay but not in a cis way except when it is so no matter what i feel like a faker"

I got distract these arent fun facts at all their mostly anxiety spiral sad facts let me get back on the point

Long Hair actually makes me feel more masc, while Short Hair makes me feel more femme. Unless a mustache has become involved.

Absolutely fascinating that i can look at my body, my exact same naked body, and as a man feel confident and sexy but as a woman feel bloated and unattractive. Like. Can we get a femme equivalent of the Dadbod please? Or maybe relax our standards a little bit? I'm dying here

It's so much easier to talk about this shit with absolute strangers in the void than people i know, even when i know some of those people are also here in the same void reading these. It's just still easier than saying the words. Weird.

#gender queer #gender weirdness

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southpark-trashfactory · 2 years

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Okay, Gender and Sexuality Headcanons

Slight Notice: A lot of my headcanons are pretty specific to how I personally feel the characters would perceive their identities, so they're kinda messy and don't fit neatly within definitions sometimes, just cause I think that's interesting. (And of course no one has to agree with me, these are just fun thoughts that I roll around in my head from time to time <3 )

There's also gonna be brief references to internalized homophobia and internalized misogyny.

Anyway, I'm gonna put it under a readmore cause I talk too much and this is gonna be. Long.

I feel like in terms of HOW Kyle experiences attraction, demisexual + Bisexual would be the best description based on definition.

Kyle:

So starting off with the most convoluted,

However, I feel like Kyle wouldn't know about A-spec labels, simply because I think he would just assume that his experience with attraction is universal? Like, if you asked him, obviously it takes everyone a while before they actually start finding their partners physically attractive? It just makes the most sense to him that attraction would be dictated by how well you know someone/how well you get along with someone, and I feel like that would be why he has a tendency to show interest in people who show interest in him first, kinda like a "Oh, yeah, I can see us getting close!" kinda thing?

I feel like it could also play into his tendency to feel insecure over his looks, cause if he perceives attraction as an inherent measurement of how close his partner feels to him, it makes sense it would be important to him to be perceived as attractive by his partners?

So basically Kyle is Demi but doesn't think about it that way?

Additionally I feel like, Kyle would identify as straight, rather than bisexual, because I feel like he has a bit of internalized homophobia, (mostly because I feel like Kyle makes a sizable chunk of the "that's gay" kinda jokes in the show)

and I feel like that prevents him from acknowledging attraction to men? I feel like his demisexuality would also help him avoid developing feelings for men, cause he just wouldn't take the same steps to get closer to them as he would with women who express interest in him?

Then it comes down to his really close friends, Stan, Kenny, Butters, Eric, I feel like he'd probably be like "Well,,, it's not really gay cause you're all like, nonbinary" (spoiler for the rest of the post lol)

Ideally in like, a set narrative arch, I feel like Kyle would learn to deal with his internalized homophobia and feel comfortable identifying as Bi, but generally as a starting off point my brain tends to default to him as identifying as straight. Not in like, a closeted sort of way, I just feel like it takes him a while to unpack what these aspects of himself mean to him, ya know?

Lastly, I headcanon Kyle as a cis man who has never once thought about his gender in his life.

I feel like he's also demisexual + bisexual, I feel like he wouldn't really have much resistance to the idea since he's canonically very "It's okay to be gay" multiple times (even if he partakes in the usual digs like Kyle ), and he would probably start suspecting it after Wendyl comes out as Trans, cause he realizes at the end of the day it doesn't matter to him what Wendyl's gender is cause he's still the person he's known and liked all this time.

Stan:

That was a lot so thankfully Stan is a bit more straight forward (the only straight thing about him lol)

I feel like Stan maybe started to realize he was agender after hanging out with the goth kids, just cause the goth kids seem queer af and probably know some terms, I think experimenting with his outward presentation would have made him feel more comfortable with exploring his gender identity, but I kinda feel like he would be apprehensive about talking about it outside of the goth circle, at least until he gets older, maybe he felt like it wasn't a significant enough change to be addressed at the time. I think he'd probably come out maybe in high-school, and even then I feel like he would be a bit low-key about it.

I think he would use he/him and they/them, but I also think he doesn't really have a preference. I think he might also like to occasionally go by his goth name, Raven, but probably doesn't ask people outside of the goths to call them that?

Wendyl:

I've talked about how I really enjoy the concept of Wendyl being a trans guy before, but I'll reiterate, I found Wendy very relatable as a Trans guy who was also a very headstrong baby feminist when I was younger, so when Wendyl as a concept was introduced in the cissy I was pretty elated. I wish it had been explored for longer.

I feel like he was probably always pretty openly not straight too, and I kinda flip flop between thinking of him as Bi or Pan

I feel like Wendyl probably knew he was Trans when he was pretty young, considering he's very well read on social/political issues in Canon, I wouldn't be surprised if he had the language to express his identity before most of his classmates. I feel like he would have tried to socially transition when he was younger (wanting to cut his hair, wear different clothes, go by a different name and pronouns) but I feel like he may have gone back on it a couple of times, out of self consciousness. We don't really see a lot of Wendyl's parents, but I personally get the impression that they don't really listen to him very well. I don't think they were actively transphobic, but I think they maybe didn't start taking Wendyl seriously until maybe around high-school.

I feel like Wendyl might have had a bit of conflict between his Trans identity and his identity as a feminist too, because it's, a really weird intersection to navigate? I feel like he would be self conscious about speaking about his personal experiences with sexism cause he would no longer be speaking from the perspective of a girl but of a Trans guy who was perceived as a girl for a lot of his life? Like, they're very similar experiences, but I feel like he would be afraid of coming across as a guy who's just talking over women's experiences? Especially when he starts "passing" more as a man and meets more people who didn't know him when he was Wendy? I think he's still very vocally a feminist but he gets frustrated when he starts to feel people taking him more seriously than when they perceived him as a girl?

I also like to think Wendyl likes to make the joke that everyone who dated him/had a crush on him before he came out as Trans, is gay, like

"Damn Tolkien, you had a crush on me? That's kind gay bro... "

Also Kyle being forced to come to terms with not being straight cause he can't explain away having a crush on wendyl lol

Cartman:

( though I personally default to Wendyl being a Trans man, I also really enjoy genderfluid Wendy, and for my personally fanworks I reserve that for The Fractured but Whole aus where I really like to imagine a sort of CyberSix sort of situation between Wendyl and Call Girl )

I feel like Cartman has some big Bi-gender vibes, he can be very masc and very femme, but doesn't seem to have much of an in-between.

I really enjoy the headcanon that Eric would get super into drag when he's older, and I feel like he would use that a the primary outlet for his gender expression.

I feel like he would mostly use he/him, but on the special occasion Cartman dresses high-femme, like hair, makeup, the works, I think only then would she feel like she/her is appropriate. It's honestly probably pretty rare cause it's a lot of work and I feel like Cartman would be a perfectionist about it.

I don't think he would know what bi-gender is until he's like, in his twenties though. So prior to that I think he'd identify as cis.

I think he would probably be bisexual with kind of a leaning toward men and masc individuals? But also has worse internalized homophobia than Kyle. I think he would still openly ID as Bi but he'd be really cagey about it. If there's a way he can swing being queer to benefit him, he'd be real theatrical with it, but I feel like that is almost non-existently rare.

Kenny:

To me, Kenny is the exact definition of

"Are you a boy or a girl?"

"Yes"

I think he would settle on calling himself genderqueer, if given the definition, but probably doesn't really label themself? I see her being apathetic about what pronouns people use for her, probably lets people decide how to refer to them based on however he chooses to present. I don't think he would present femme very often, for similar reasons to Eric, cause it's a lot more work than just throwing on a t-shirt and jeans, but on the occasion they'd just go full glam.

(I can see Eric and Kenny specifically doing each other's make up, and Eric having to teach Kenny how to do any kind of makeup that isn't heavily goth inspired, cause Kenny learned all he knows about make up from Karen, who I imagine dropped wearing make up all together after her goth phase )

I feel like Kenny would be pansexual and wouldn't really think too much about it? Not in a "Oh I like to kiss dudes, no big deal" kinda way but more of a

"I have so much about myself that I don't understand, that I can't even be bothered to attempt to unpack something this mundane by comparison" kind of way?

Butters:

Oh boy oh boy, last but not least in terms of I'm gonna have a hard time explaining my thought process.

So.

I feel like Leo here, would be non-binary, he/they, but I feel like he would take a really long time to get to that point?

I feel like Leo would probably lean really hard into toxic masculinity when he's younger and through his highschool years to try and compensate for his more effeminate traits. Like he's bad in later seasons but I can see him getting so much worse in high-school, getting into petty fights, punching his wall or locker.

I think when they get older and away from his parents he would do like, kind of a 180, realizing that

1. The toxic masculinity he was forcing himself to abide by was making them miserable

And 2. He doesn't really feel like he's a boy at all? And he doesn't feel like he's a girl, but because he grew up in a conservative household with catholic parents, and a very binary idea of gender roles, I feel like even if they know nonbinary identities are a thing, they would kind of bypass them and identify as a Trans woman for a while instead just because it would feel easier to explain?

I feel like they have a lot of internal misogyny though, and in an attempt to remain easy to understand by their parents and people around them, I think they would probably be very restrictive on how they would present themself when IDing as a Trans woman.

I imagine they would have gone with a rather conservative idea of feminity, growing their hair out long and wearing dress shirts and long skirts similar to their mother's fashion (which I feel like would conflict with a lot of their interests cause I imagine him getting very rebellious and alternative when he finally doesn't live with his parents hovering over him? Gets a flowery tattoo, but tattoos are unfeminine by a lot of conservative standards so they cover it with their sleeves. )

I feel like it would make them feel really uncomfortable, like they're always trying to measure up to what people expect them to be. It would take a lot of them unpacking the toxic gender roles they were taught growing up before they come to terms with the fact that they're nonbinary, and it's really scary for him?

As toxic as the gender roles he was taught are, there's still comfort in structure, like a guide on how to be. Not to mention there are definitely ways to be a man or a woman that aren't toxic, So i imagine it would be really tempting for him to try and force himself back into either mold. Like maybe if he just tried hard enough to be a man or a woman in a way that isn't the way he was doing it before that made him miserable, maybe he could make it work.

But like, I like to think he would eventually learn that he doesn't have to identify a certain way just to make sense to other people, or be valid in his gender expression? As long as he's not confused over who he is, then he doesn't need to worry about other people not 100% understanding him.

Basically I feel like they went through a really long gender journey with a lot of trial and error.

I feel like Leo would probably present very androgynous, leaning a little more toward the masc side, and I also feel like he would go on estrogen, probably around when he thinks he's a Trans woman, but doesn't feel the need to stop when they accept they're nonbinary.

Oh, they're also Bi.

I don't think Stephen and Linda have a problem with him being Bi, but I feel like they're the type that would be like "Oh its okay as long as you get straight married eventually".

#south park #musings #headcanon #long post #like really really long #kenny mccormick #leopold butters stotch #kyle broflovski #stan marsh #eric cartman #wendyl testaburger #wendy testaburger

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queer-merm · 7 months

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I try not to bring up too much discourse but I will just this once:

You may have noticed that this blog went from “yeah haha I am an inclus :) I guess I just support queers haha (refuses to elaborate, refuses to specify)” to “I am explicitly inclusive of all good faith identities including but not limited to ace and aro people, but also queer people, kinky people, polyam people, and bi lesbians, lesboys, turiagirls, trans people with “contradictory” sexualities, etc”.

When I went with the former, it was really out of fear of getting hate, but also cowardice.

And when it turned out someone close to me had one of those lesser known identities, I realized it’s not enough to be vaguely inclusive.

In the face of hatred, we /have/ to take a stand. It’s not enough to not hate, we have to show support to ALL queers. In the face of discourse, in the face of gay related things we don’t understand, it can be easy to forget that the people whose identities were ducking fighting about already face hate from the cisheteropatriarchy for /being a queer. Being a faggot. Being a dyke. Being a tranny./ These people are already vulnerable, how dare we not show support to people in our own communities?

Who cares if you don’t understand everything? Who cares if I don’t understand everything? It’s not about me, it’s not about you. It’s about standing together no matter our differences.

And you know what? I think I can empathize with people who don’t get /how/ easily one can identify as a lesbian. I remember when I first started identifying as one. After years of feeling pressured of being into men, only to realize no, actually, I don’t like men, it can feel liberating, and frustrating to know that it took years to unlearn that.

Then you turn around and see people seemingly going “I don’t care about what #society thinks. I’m gonna identify like I fucking want, lulz”.

If I learned about the concept of bi lesbian right after I came out, I think I would have had the same knee jerk reaction. “It’s not fair! /I/ WORKED HARD! I had to work for my label, and these people can just choose to do it? What the fuck?”

Two things to note:

-our goal /should/ be to make it that everyone has an easier time figuring themselves out. People saying “fuck cishets, I’m queer in my own way” is a good thing! (And, I’m saying this in the most gentle, kind way, but you being upset you had to work for your labels is not other people’s problem. Sorry.)

-honestly, it’s bold to assume people didn’t think this through. Honestly, they probably had very similar self doubts and thoughts than you did. I guarantee they chose their labels after thinking about it, just like you did. One word can have multiple meanings, and that’s okay.

(Also, no, bi lesbian (because I’m gonna guess this is the current big one that people are still pissed over) isn’t inherently transphobic, it wasn’t made by and for transphobes, it’s not from last year, and no one (no one) is forcing you to ever like a man or give up on your bi idetentity. come on yall we’ve been through this)

And look if you foam at the mouth reading about bad queer identities, and you refuse to ever tolerate people who use them, fine. I’m not here to change your mind. My goal with this blog and my posts isn’t to make you happy, it’s to make queer people feel safe and included. Cis straight people already want us gone, I won’t tolerate people feeling like they are not safe with fellow queers. We /have/ to support each other no matter what.

And look I don’t get fundamentally understand everything. I don’t /get/ how one can only be one gender in one way their own lives. I don’t understand people who are comfortable using certain labels when they are non-binary. I don’t understand people who find men attractive. But I understand I don’t need to understand everything, I just understand I need to be open minded and be kind even if I don’t always “get it”.

(If you’re not queer, if you don’t like the word queer, consider that this post isn’t for and about you and not everything revolves around you :) if you’re not queer you’re not included in this post dw)

#anyway #mod Ary #i am once again gently reminding you if you want to send hate don’t send it to this blog send it to my main thnx #1 #2 #3 #discourse #f slur #d slur #t slur

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gettin-bi-bi-bi · 2 years

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It’s hard to live among homophobic society without feeling guilty like someone shared an info that monkeypox is because of homosexuality/bisexuality, it only makes me feel disgust at myself as a bisexual women, not be told I am bad but telling me I am the reason for people sickness.

Anon I do get what you mean and society's homophobia and biphobia (amongst other things) is awful and I am so sorry people have made you feel this way, but you are not the reason some people are getting sick, bi people in general are not the reason some people get sick. Most diseases that spread amongst people start off in animals. Diseases spread from animals to humans often because of animals being caught or raised for food, then they spread amongst humans after that because humans are generally speaking social creatures and interact with other people all the time in all different ways. No outbreak of sickness is down to bisexual people and it is despicable that some people are still trying to spread this idea even now.

Of course we've been through this all before with queer people being singled out for blame and bi people in particular being blamed for the spread of diseases even by others within the LGBT+ community. There are still people (and I've seen this in recent times on TV with a certain well known gay man even) who blame bisexual people for the spread of HIV/AIDs among both gay and straight people. It's nonsense and it's biphobic nonsense. People spread disease amongst themselves regardless of their sexuality, even when they are infections which can be commonly transmitted through sexual activity. Some groups and that includes queer people are sometimes more likely to be badly affected by certain infections, but not intrinsically because they're queer, it is because of other people's prejudice meaning these groups don't have the same access to education (particularly about matters such as sexual health), healthcare, medicines etc that more privileged groups may have. And some people are irresponsible when it comes to having sex and don't use protection when they should but anyone of any sexuality can be irresponsible; of course that is going to include some bi people but it is not an exclusively bisexual thing and anyone who tries to claim it is are biphobes. People who try to blame bi people for spreading any kind of infection or disease are just biphobic bigots.

Also one possible reason why monkeypox seems to be more common amongst gay and bi people is very likely because, due to things like more awareness of HIV and the AIDS crisis, gay and bi people are simply more aware of the need to get any new or unusual symptoms checked out, whereas cis straight people who have not had the same history as the queer community may be less aware and more likely to just brush any symptoms off as nothing worth worrying about and so they don't seek medical attention. This may then skew the results so that it appears queer people are more likely to be infected when that isn't really the case. Another reason is probably down to how things are reported skewing people's sense of what's happening - many media sources are probably much more likely to report on outbreaks of any kind of infection amongst queer people and hype up that element of it than they are to report about outbreaks amongst cis straight people in order to get more readers/viewers/buyers for their material because sensation and this sort of playing on other people's prejudices still sells.

Also of course in general queer people often hang out with other queer people even if they're not having sexual contact with them, so of course some infections will spread more noticeably amongst queer people than amongst cis straight people, but basically completely accidentally and coincidentally.

Also I'm not saying monkeypox doesn't matter of course but as far as I know this outbreak of it is not so far anything like HIV or covid 19 in terms of scale or severity and also it's a virus people know about already so there are already treatments and vaccines for it. Some media sources may well be hyping it up, again to get more readers/viewers, and that may well be contributing towards this 'let's blame the queers for spreading disease' idea again, but it isn't something people should be panicking over, it's just one more reason why we should all be taking sensible precautions in general, like using protection if you do have sex for example. Try to ignore the hype and sensationalism about it and remember that any of these outbreaks of infections simply happen because of people being people, not because of bi people.

Tiger

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gloria-a-las-plagas · 2 years

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i'm gonna talk about it here because i'm not ready to talk about it on other platforms where more people will see it. but this is about being trans and gay. from the perspective of a trans man.

coming to terms with your sexuality is hard for everyone, but i don't think cis people quite understand how excruciating it is for trans people. when i was 15 and first came out, there was a plethora of people, mostly cis queers and transmeds, who were very adamant about the idea that a trans man "can never be gay" and we're "secretly just straight women trying to invade gay spaces". of course this is all bullshit, but when you're a kid and have nobody to look up to, except those cis queers and transmeds, you very quickly internalise these transphobic ideas.

day after day you're being told you will never be a real man and you can never be gay because you don't have a dick between your legs. you feel shame and guilt, for even thinking you could be gay. you feel fear of using that label because are you even allowed to do so? you feel no pride in who you are, just hatred and pain. you tell yourself "hey, maybe i am attracted to women? i can still be bi, then" because you know you're not straight, but being gay is not allowed when you're trans.

so you trick yourself into believing you're bi, you never feel any attraction towards women, but hey! maybe you just haven't met the right one for you yet! and you grow up, find more like-minded people. people who aren't transphobic, people who don't try and convince you of horrible lies.

but they think attraction towards men is disgusting. they think that it's shameful. they make you believe you have to be attracted to women, otherwise your feelings, your love, is disgusting and shameful. they don't even realise it because it's all a "safe space". and you understand their hatred for men, you really do. after all, you've been a victim of cis men yourself. but you start to feel insecure, weird. you think to yourself "hey i can't be gay because that would mean only liking men and male-aligned people and that's bad, right"? you don't notice the internalised homophobia rearing it's ugly head.

and just when you thought you escaped the clutches of transphobes and their nonsense, you fall into the arms of homophobia. and it hurts. because you know it's not true. you know being gay is not bad. you know being mlm is not bad. but you feel once again that guilt of calling yourself gay. you feel that fear, that shame. so you don't. you keep pretending. because hey, if they don't know, then they won't hurt you, right?

and that's how you're living your life. you know you're living a lie, but what else can you do.

#there is always that nagging voice in my head that asks what if you fall in love with a woman one day #and suddenly i feel like i'm undeserving of calling myself gay #i don't know my future #i only know my present #and i know i've never felt the same attraction for women as i do for men and male-aligned people #and yet #i feel undeserving and guilty #my only escape is through fiction #pretending i'm in a different reality #a reality where i can be trans and gay and deserving of love #trans #trans male #lgbtq+

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theprideful · 3 years

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but imagine if queer people talked to cishets the same way they talk to us

*concerned Karen face* "hiiii! sorry to interrupt your meal, but I noticed that you're a boy and you're a girl, and I know it's not my business, but I just wanted to let you know that this... is wrong. mkay?😁 I mean surely you'd be happier in a same-sex relationship. I'm just trying to save you! oh, you're christian? *pained smiling* well let me tell you about atheism..."

"hey dude! so where's your boyfriend? oh, you're straight? well why would you choose that? wouldn't you like to date a nice boy? such a shame."

"so are you two friends? oh you're... dating? well then who's the girl and who's the other girl? I don't understand how this kind of relationship works."

"if you're a boy, why aren't you wearing makeup and nail polish? you're just... barefaced. I don't get it."

"so then... one of you is bi? I'm not understanding."

"oh so you identify with your birth gender. so you're... cis? you have a... vajayjay? well you're still technically a man, right? I mean, being cis is a choice."

"I don't hate you. i just hate that you only like men. i mean my religion says that being straight is a sin, so you're going to suffer for all of eternity. it even says so in this big mistranslated fantasy book. what do you mean you don't believe in it? well I'll be praying to Zeus for you."

"so when did you decide you're cis? I mean why wouldn't you want to be a girl, or genderless? you can't just stick with your birth gender, you know."

"what do you mean you're only attracted to the opposite gender? are you at least ace or trans? no? well it's probably just a phase. you'll grow out of it eventually. the right girl is out there for you, just wait :)"

sound ridiculous? that's because it is.

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empyrangel · 2 years

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I just got done watching Q-Force, and it was much better than everyone’s making it out to seem. However, I have one pretty big issue with it… the diversity, or really lack thereof.

Now, I know it sounds like I’ve just got a stick up my ass or something, but I can explain. I don’t expect the shows I watch to include everyone of every micro-label just to check off boxes. But I can’t help but notice that, for a show that prides (pun intended) and advertises itself on being completely centered around queer diversity, most of the so called “diversity” on the show is just gay people.

I mean, really look at it. Mary is gay, Deb is gay, Twink is gay, and there’s a whole host of gay side and background characters, but that’s pretty much it. I mean, there’s been some fan speculation that V is bi, but just as much discussion that she’s a closeted gay, and of course, none of it is canon. Same with Stat. She’s canonically shown to be attracted to women, so she’s most likely gay, but she could be bi, but again nothings canon. Then there’s the gender side of things. Twink is a drag queen, but he’s still a cis man (as far as I know anyway), and there’s been a lot of speculation that Stat is a trans woman, because her voice actress is, but again, it’s still not canon. Then, of course there’s not even any potential examples of characters on the nonbinary spectrum. And if you want to talk about aro and ace representation, that’s not really an option either. 90% of the characters detail their sexual attractions in great detail, so it’s pretty much impossible that anyone is ace much less aro. I almost thought Stat was aroace before her thing with Jaqueline, because she was one of the only characters that didn’t have sex references every other sentence she said.

Like I said before, I’m not the type to get my panties in a twist because a show doesn’t have every little corner of the queer community in it. I’m just saying that for a show that’s meant to be unapologeticly queer and full of pride and representation, for that representation to be almost exclusively gay (mostly white) cis men- it feels like a slap in the face.

If there’s a season 2 (a strong if, considering all the hate it’s gotten from people who have only watched the trailer) I hope that some of these fan theories and speculations will become canon and that a larger range of queer characters will be introduced. I really do like this show, I hope that it has the opportunity to improve.

#traveler from another world ✨#q force #q-force #queer pride #lgbtq pride #gay #lesbian #bisexual #transgender #trans #enby #nonbinary #non binary #asexual #aromantic #aro #ace #queer repersentation #representation matters

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hellomynameisbisexual · 3 years

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“QUEER”

First of all, let’s clear up a common misconception. Queer does not just mean gay. It’s an umbrella term for an identity which deviates from society’s perceived norm: heterosexual, or straight. Queer can refer to sexualities — gay, bisexual, pansexual, — or it can refer to being gender-queer; i.e, any label that deviates from the perceived gender norm: the binaries, male and female.

“Queer” is a reclaimed slur.

If you do not fall under the umbrella of queerness, it is safe to assume that you cannot use it. At all.

I am bisexual.

This means I experience attraction to plural genders. Pansexual also works fine. For the difference between bisexual and pansexual — see here:

Being bisexual isn’t easy. I went through similar hardships to gay women: I experienced attraction to women and was scared of what this meant for me, in such an oppressively homophobic society.

I am not saying being bisexual is harder than being gay, nor the inverse. But my experiences are distinctly bisexual, not gay.

Without further ado, here are the 3 things I’ve found to be the hardest about being queer, but not gay (enough).

#1: Finding My Place

Or, not being queer enough

I always knew I wasn’t straight, but I didn’t know what I was. Up until recently, I was still questioning. This didn’t feel enough to join groups or conversations with LGBT+ folk, let alone go to pride. Was I even LGBT if I was never L, G, B, or T?

I am still yet to attend a pride, even though I identify (fairly confidently) as bisexual. I am in a relationship with a man. This is (problematically) known as a “straight-passing relationship” and makes me feel even more undeserving of a place at pride.

This has been upsetting to me at times. But for others, it can be outright devastating. Growing up and needing support, but feeling like you’re ‘not gay enough’ to ask for it? So many young people are being left alone and afraid. Finding others like you is vital to figuring out who you are. Likewise, finding spaces which are safe and inclusive is vital for anyone, regardless of their sexuality or gender identity. A friend of mine happens to be a transgender man, and he summed up the issue perfectly:

“One thing that I keep noticing is how all hangout spots are “gay bars”, or (far less common) “lesbian bars”. I’m a straight man, so I don’t feel like I’m supposed to be there, but hanging out at regular bars is still too much of a gamble, so I don’t really have anywhere to go.”

It goes without saying that gay folk aren’t always safe in these spaces, as seen by the homophobic attack on the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, in 2016. Bigotry hurts the entire LGBT+ community. Bigotry doesn’t stop to ask whether you identify as gay or otherwise queer before it pulls the trigger.

But the LGBT+ community itself is much more welcoming to those who “pick a side” and just come out as gay, already. The infighting is inexplicable when one looks to attacks such as that in Orlando: bigots don’t care which letter you are in the acronym. So why does gatekeeping exist when we need to be strong in the face of intolerance when fragmentation only makes us weaker? Who are we helping by continuing to exclude identities from the discussion?

#2: Myths and Misconceptions

Well, it stands to reason that if bisexuals are what they seem in TV and movies, why would anyone want to make them feel included? They’re “greedy” and inauthentic. They’re attention-seeking, not to mention their propensity for threesomes. Now, I haven’t been in a wild orgy yet, but it seems like it will only be a matter of time before I follow my natural path.

Straight men, in particular, need to own up to their assumption that bisexual women are down for a threesome. The thing is, we are. But not with you, you big ASSUMER.

Infidelity

All jokes aside, the stereotyping of bisexuals is not only hurtful, but leads to difficulties finding and maintaining relationships.

As I came to terms with my bisexuality, I also had to accept that I might never be fully trusted by my partner, regardless of their gender or sexuality. I was shocked when my partner reacted to my coming out with the equivalent of a shrug — so much so, that I burst into tears of gratitude that my soul-bearing moment hadn’t been met with slut-shaming or assumptions of disloyalty. Nothing has changed. If anything, our bond is even stronger for me having been more authentic after coming out.

But cruelty came from elsewhere: when I came out, I was told that my partner was to be pitied, either because I’m gay and in denial, or bound to cheat on him. The main consequence of such attitudes has been the crippling fear of coming out to my partner. It saddens me that I felt so relieved when he accepted me for being who I am, and loving him just the same as I always have.

This outcome is not the case for many couples, with straight folk worried that their bisexual partner will realise they’re gay and just leave them. This fear of abandonment comes from a place of ignorance. When the media presents bisexuality as a steppingstone on the way to “picking a team”, it’s no wonder that people struggle to trust their queer partners.

Other Queer Myths

The myth that all trans folk medically transition invalidates those who choose not to do so, and let’s not forget the ignorant jeers that it's all just a mental illness. Asexual folk battle the stereotype that they can never have a relationship and shall forever remain a virgin (because what an awful thing that would be, right?) And pansexuals… well, at the lighter end, they’re asked if they have sex with cooking utensils. But often, they’re erased as irrelevant because “we already have the label bisexual”.

This brings us onto the third and final difficulty that comes with queer folk who aren’t easily categorizable as gay: erasure.

#3: Erasure

Erasure refers to the denial of an identity’s existence or its validity as a label.

Non-binary folk face ongoing and loud claims that they simply do not exist. This is despite the historical and scientific evidence to the contrary. Plus, the most important evidence — them, existing. Asexual folk are told they simply have not found the right person yet, or that they are just afraid of sex. Demi-sexual folk are told “everyone feels like that, unless they’re just sleeping around!”. And bisexuals are dismissed as simply being in denial that they’re gay.

Monosexuality & The Gender Binary

Our culture is so built on monosexuality (being solely attracted to one gender — for instance, gay or straight). Monosexuality is reinforced through everything from marriage to dating apps, the media to what we teach in schools. People cannot fathom that someone might want to experience more than one gender in their lifetime.

The binary models of sex and gender are also deeply ingrained. These rigid belief systems combined are to blame for our inability to accept that bisexuals do not need to “pick a side”. I was paralysed by fear for 17 years because I found girls attractive and that might mean I’m gay, because bisexuals are just gays who haven’t realised they’re gay yet.

Bierasure

Bierasure is dangerous, firstly because it leads a child to have to internalise both biphobia and homophobia. For instance, I had to work through being taught to hate gayness, whilst being taught that any attraction to non-male genders made me gay.

Women were cute, and so I was gay, and this meant I was disgusting.

My own mother told me this. She also told me that something has “gone wrong in the womb” for a child to be gay. (Well, Mum, I’ve got some bad news about your womb!)And she, like any bigot, extended this theory to anyone who experiences same-sex attractions — anyone queer. This is another reason why bi-erasure is perilous. Whether you’re a gay, cis-male or a demi-bisexual, trans woman… if your parents will kick you out for being gay, they will likely kick you out for being any sort of queer.

If we deny the bigotry that bisexuals undergo, we will continue to suffer. It won’t just go away. It will fester, with bisexuals having no one they can go to who believes them. And thus:

Erasure Kills

Bullying and suicide rates of queer-but-not-gay people continue to sky-rocket. We must direct funding, support and compassion to every queer individual, as they are all vulnerable to discrimination and bullying. The problem is being left to fester. This is in part because bigots treat all queer labels as just ‘gay’, deeming them equally unworthy. This is how far erasure can go.

Conclusion

Earlier on, I stated that my experiences are distinctly bisexual. The same applies to any queer identity.

Emphasising our differing paths and struggles is important to avoid the aforementioned erasure of already less visible groups. But this does not mean that the LGBT+ community should be fragmented by these differences.

If we can unite in our hope to live authentically and love freely, we will be stronger against bigotry. We are fighting enough intolerance from without: there is no need to create more from within.

So out of everything, what’s the hardest part about being bisexual?

It’s the fact that nobody knows it’s this hard.

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chinbiz · 2 years

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More serious post, but I just want to say something to the people who had their formative queer years during the respectability era of representation discourse.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but: you're not bad representation. You are a queer person with your own unique experience.

You being nonmonogamous or being into BDSM or liking threesomes or being a part of some other alternative lifestyle doesn't harm the bi community. Biphobia does, and respectability politics isn't going to dismantle biphobia.

You existing outside of the gender binary or only choosing some aspects of transitioning or feeling entirely neutral or even positive about the disconnect between your physical body and your gender identity doesn't harm the trans community. Transphobia does, and transphobia isn't going to go away just by erasing whichever trans people are the most challenging to cis people.

Your personal experience with queerness is not harmful to the queer community. Queerphobic rhetoric is, and we're not going to become more united for the cause of queer liberation by pushing away people who aren't palatable enough for conservative society.

Your experience with queerness is just as valid as the next person. If you're not actively harming people in your daily life, you don't need to feel guilty, especially not for simply existing.

It took me until very recently to come fully to terms with being polyamorous. I would refer to myself as ambiamorous (which is a totally valid label but it simply isn't what I am) or "open to polyamory" while still pursuing monogamy despite how stifling that relationship style is for me. I'm just kinda done with the fear of being a "bad" bisexual dictating how open I am about my sexuality or being polyamorous so yeah. Fuck it. Fuck internalized biphobia. Fuck conformity.

Obviously I didn't cover negative stereotypes of neutral traits for every group of queer people because I'm not an expert on the experiences I don't have, so definitely feel free to add on with your experiences as long as you're not hurting anybody.

Edit: this is a draft that had been sitting around for a few weeks to a month because I forgot about it (and because I was kinda scared to post it because I've seen some polyam negativity on other platforms and don't really feel like having people be a dick to me), but like if this makes somebody's day then here you go. I fully acknowledge that there might be things in here that could be better worded, so if you notice anything and I think it makes sense to make an edit, I'll add a second edit.

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notably-rainbow · 3 years

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okay so

this is a m/f pan/bi couple. first of all, look at their vibes.

morticia is open to anything but the distinctions and nuances are important to her. she holds everything to a high standard and found themself the perfect man. they’d be down to date other genders too, though. but it would be different for her than dating a man. she also recognizes that bi and pan are just labels the are functionally similar but have different meanings to some people, and bi feels best for them. she also has she/they energy.

gomez is familiar with the old “hearts not parts” idea. he also knows that bi and pan function similarly, but he likes the freedom in the label pan. he likes the idea that he falls in love with people regardless of their appearances or genders. also he has major bi wife energy and major queer guy energy.

next let’s look at the aesthetics, because i know that stereotypes are bad, but they can be very fun. as a queer person, i thoroughly enjoy reading into meaningless subtext to find stereotypes that give the impression of queerness.

on this scale, gomez falls somewhere on the ‘mostly goth but somewhat preppy’ side of things. he also has major jock energy with a decent amount of nerd energy mixed in. therefore he is very close to the middle of the chart here. he has a very dark-academia kind of aesthetic, or maybe goth-gryffindor vibes (don’t know how else to phrase it). pan men are (stereotypically) utterly chaotic or utterly nerdy, and he is both. even the dark goth thing is totally on brand for a pan or queer dude.

morticia has so much goth energy. it’s honestly off the charts. she embodies goth. they also don’t really fit super well into jock or goth categories in my opinion. she’s not really on the chart so much as they are just the label goth itself. if that’s not a bisexual person i’d not know what is. also, her femme enby energy is off the charts. i feel like they’re definitely not a lady, but she still likes the elegance of she/her pronouns, so they use she/they.

now.

this is a m/f bi/pan couple.

mavis is just a chill vampire lady. she’s open to anyone who makes her happy, and luckily for her she found jonathan. she’s very cute and sweet and just loves people for who they are. to her, bi and pan are different and she relates more to the label pan. also she’s either a trans lady or is a cis lady who questioned her gender a lot around high school and tried out she/they or they/them pronouns. she is happy with she/her and likes being a woman and feels like a woman though.

johnny is a dudebro. but not like a straight dudebro. he has big broski-who-drinks-respect-women-juice energy. also, he’s for sure trans. and he’s definitely bi. he definitely had a few long-term relationships with men and a few with women. he likes people for who they are and doesn’t really worry about it too much. he uses the label bi because it’s easiest and people get it so he can be who he is without having to explain it. he doesn’t really care anyway and is good with gay, queer, bi, pan, omni, etc.

on to the stereotypes!!

mavis is goth but has some prep vibes. she is also kind of both a jock and a nerd. now that i think about it, she’s probably more jock than nerd and i should fix that but i’m not going to, so we’ll just live with it for now.

johnny is jocky obviously, and not super super nerdy. he’s definitely more preppy than goth, but he’s more on the side of skaterboi or bro. he listens to cavetown for sure, but also likes grungy music. bi guys are stereotypically either masculine and chill or more flamboyant and feminine. i think he fits really well into the chill and manly category, and people usually go “wait you’re bi???” when they find out. but then they see him with a guy and it makes more sense. like he just has the vibes. but most people don’t notice until they see him with a guy or masculine person.

now obviously this is a joke and you’re welcome to your own opinions!! also please understand that stereotypes are not helpful in most cases and can do more harm than good. bi and pan people, nonbinary people, trans people, and boys and girls are not confined to some kind of box. they are all free to look, dress, act, speak, etc however they want!! stereotypes are fun to play around with in media but please don’t tell someone that the way they act isn’t gay enough or bi enough or anything else that relies on stereotypes!! also, i might not remember the characters perfectly so feel free to add if you have anything i forgot about or just want to say how you feel about it!!

#hotel transylvania #addams family

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