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k-daydreams · 1 year

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The pursuit of Feeling Alive: I. Intro

Pairing: Azriel x fem!reader, PLATONIC!IC x reader

Synopsis: cousin to Rhysand and Morrigan, y/n was once her family’s golden child. Faced with trials and tribulations her whole life, she needed reprieve— a distraction. Until a surprise homecoming opens Pandora’s box, and gives y/n a reality check. Especially facing her once close friend Azriel. Friends to Enemies to lovers trope.

Warnings: trauma, swearing, pining, angst?

Word Count: 4.8k

Author note: this is my first acotar fic! It was originally going to be a singular self indulgent azriel fic, but I can’t ever get to the point and I got too many ideas. Definitely not very canon with the timeline of series I think lol, just going to throw that out there. I’ve already rough drafted another chapter and thought I’d share the work on here. Feel free to share your thoughts! If you’d like to be added to a tag list let me know!

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

Internally, you teetered on the edge of a nervous breakdown, ready to tear yourself apart from within. Externally, you wore a mask of cold calculation, hoping no one could detect your distress and near senility. Earlier in the day, your cousin Mor had mentioned that her high lord and your other dear cousin, Rhysand, had matters to discuss with your high lord, Helion. The reason for their meeting was of no concern to Mor to bother filling you in.

Your heart thumped against your chest, unsure of what to expect. It had been over fifty years since the Day Court and Night Court had engaged in official business since the end of Amarantha's reign of terror. You had seen Rhysand during the time under the mountain, where you spent nearly half a century with him until Feyre saved Prythian. Still holding visits with him after to report to him along with Mor, thanks to her frequent visits to Helion. However, the rest of the court, especially those you hadn't met since after Amarantha and Hybern, remained a mystery, with only Mor's updates for context.

Following your time under the mountain, you chose to reside in the Day Court under Helion's rule as an emissary between the two Solar Courts. It served as a means to shield yourself from feeling too deeply, allowing you to focus on healing from the traumatic events you endured during those fifty years. There were other matters you had yet to confront and come to terms with, voluntarily choosing to ignore them. By hiding away and conducting your business mainly with Mor and Rhys, you could maintain a sense of avoidance of your once home.

Now, in the dining hall of the palace where Helion and his inner court resided—including yourself—you found yourself on edge. Regardless of the pressing matters at hand, your high lord insisted on hosting a dinner for his court and other high fae to publicly display the alliance between the Night Court and the Day Court. Standing next to Helion's chair in the center of the room, you observed the lively chatter among the gathered individuals.

Your hands were clasped tightly in front of you, nervously inspecting your gown for nonexistent dirt, attempting to conceal your jitters. The gown itself could remind anyone of the place you resided and wanted to consider your new home. It was an off-the-shoulder nude gown with gossamer sleeves cascading around your arms. The bodice, nearly transparent, accentuated your bust, adorned with soft gold crystals intricately arranged over your body. The long skirts consisted of layers of gossamer, featuring two long slits up the front that revealed your legs. You appeared ethereal and angelic.

"You seem on edge," Helion called out to you, pulling you out of your internal thoughts. Your eyes scanned the room, observing every movement, before turning your attention to the main entrance. He gently traced his finger beneath the dainty black diamond bracelet adorning your wrist, bringing your attention back. This bracelet, along with matching pieces around your neck and ears, showed your affiliation with the visiting court. You wore them out of respect for your older cousins, never daring to show your true affection openly—a facade to conceal your true self. You knew they would appreciate it if they noticed.

"The Night Court was your home, was it not?" He questioned, his tone casual, as he glanced over his shoulder at the other members of the inner court to make sure they weren’t listening. Adjusting his shirt cuffs to his well-matched button-down very similar color to yours, he exuded regality from head to toe.

You mumbled stoically, "Was." Clearing your throat tentatively, your eyes returned to the main doors. "This is my home now, serving under your rule. I can't afford to be anything but cautious when the Night Court wishes to discuss an unknown matter."

You didn’t miss the way his eyes rolled. "Always playing this game, aren't you?" Helion scolded playfully. “There's no need to keep up the act. Rhys's actions beneath the mountain spoke volumes for our court."

You thought to yourself, 'But my actions don't, and I'd rather keep it that way.' Aloud, you replied smoothly, "One can't appear too soft when the Night Court steps through that door." The lie slipped easily from your lips.

"Are we referring to the whole court now or the spymaster we both have eyes for?" Helion hummed, reclining slightly in his chair as he took a sip of fae wine from his chalice-like glass. Damn him.

"I have no eyes for any man, particularly not a brute Illyrian man. And especially not one I've been watching wrestle with my cousin since we were young children," you retorted, feeling a surge of unease and clenching your jaw at the assumption.

"That's a match I would give up all my powers to witness," the handsome, dark-skinned lord purred, his words aimed at you.

You wanted to snap at him, your patience wearing thin at the mere mention of the tall Illyrian warrior. However, you managed to keep your composure in check. "It's hardly a match; Rhys won every time."

As if on cue, you felt the energy of several individuals entering the palace. Rhysand always loved a dramatic entrance. "Excellent, our guests have arrived," you murmured, straightening your shoulders as best as you could.

Helion followed suit, sitting more upright in his chair at the center of the hall. The rest of the inner court took their positions standing.

The sentries opened the doors for the guests. Morrigan was the first to enter, her golden hair elegantly curled, and she delightedly took you in before blinking a few times, returning to her sultry expression. Her red gown fitted her perfectly: a strapless piece that flowed around her as she walked. Following her was a sight you hadn't expected since hearing the gossip from Mor—Lucien Vanserra, adorned in deep autumnal colors that complemented his complexion and long, tidy red hair. He was an old confidant of yours when you had stayed in the spring court. You couldn't help but find it amusing, but you maintained a composed demeanor, concealing your bemusement at how out of place in the night court he seemed.

After Lucien came two beautiful high fae women. The younger one on the left wore a flowing champagne pink gown that accentuated her slim waist and showcased her porcelain fair skin. Her light brown hair was adorned with crystals and flowers, and she wore dainty opal teardrop earrings that complimented her brown eyes. On the right stood another woman in a form-fitting navy dress that subtly shimmered with every movement. The gown highlighted her curves and bust, while a sapphire-like sciphon necklace adorned her neck. Her darker brown hair was elegantly pinned up with a silver circlet. These must have been the High Lady's sisters, Elain and Nesta, whom you had heard so much about. Nesta's eyes had a hint of danger and coldness, while Elain's were filled with awe as they observed the dining hall.

Cassian followed the two women, and you discreetly coughed to suppress a snort. He appeared cleaned up, wearing a navy tunic and dark linen pants, with his hair slicked back and neatly tied. This was a different version of him from the rugged general you were accustomed to, not dressed in his usual fighting leathers to a formal affair. His siphons were cleverly disguised as jewelry pieces, and he had politely tucked back his larger wings. He seemed out of place as much as Lucien, but his mischievous eyes locked with yours, indicating he might have had similar thoughts about you.

Before you could even see her, you sensed Amren's piercing gaze from behind Cassian's towering figure. Her glowing silver eyes held an inscrutable expression, and her lips formed a slight grimace. She wore her usual grey color in a slip gown that elegantly draped down in the front. Though not dressed as extravagantly as the others, her presence demanded attention. A touch of red lipstick and a slightly tousled hairstyle were enough to enhance her beauty. You could see the rest of Helion’s inner court murmur from your peripheral, the usual whispers about the millennia’s old creature stalking towards them.

Rhysand made his entrance with the high lady from beside him, exuding confidence and power. He wore his customary dark attire that accentuated his commanding presence. His violet eyes locked with yours for a fleeting moment before he turned his attention to Helion. Feyre held her head high, a diadem hanging on the crown of her head, and her hair half up half down in loose waves. Her dress off the shoulder shone in sapphire crystals making it look like stars had been entwined on the gown. She was gorgeous as a mortal even when she was malnourished when you saw her under the mountain, but as a high fae she was even more devastating.

Last of the group, you spotted Azriel, his shadows swirling subtly around him, and your breath caught in your throat. His shadows slinked up his dark tunic clad shoulder seeming to whisper in his ear. He looked over at you making eye contact discreetly. His features were hard but something unreadable in his eyes as he observed you. You didn’t miss the slight bob of his throat as he looked quickly away to a distant corner in the room acting stoic. His hair was pushed back showing his sharp jawline, and you could see his tattoos peeking out his shirt. His silent and brooding presence always managed to unnerve you, unable to get a good read on what could’ve been going through his head. You refused to let your guard down, not wanting to think about the shadowsinger that stood mere feet away. This had been the first time you have seen each other in person since you were able to leave under the mountain.

The Night Court all stood in front of Helion, and he bowed his head in greeting. You did the same along with the rest of the inner court. The introductions began, and the atmosphere buzzed with anticipation. Helion gracefully welcomed his guests, exchanging pleasantries and acknowledging the significance of the meeting. You observed the interactions, keeping a blank face despite the tumultuous emotions swirling within you. It felt like you were looking into your old life from the outside watching the inner circle, and your heart ached for a second.

Eventually, it was time for you to step forward and join the introductions. As you approached Rhysand, his gaze never wavered from yours. His lips curved into a knowing smile, a silent acknowledgment of the past. You stood before him, your heart pounding, but your expression remained composed.

"High Lord Rhysand," you greeted him, keeping your tone neutral and titles formal. "It has been a while."

His voice was smooth as he responded, “Y/n, always a pleasure. Allow me to introduce my wife and High Lady, Feyre.”

You bowed respectfully to the High Lady. “I am in awe, Feyre Cursebreaker. What an honor to have you grace the Day Court with your presence.”

A smile graced her lips in response. “Thank you for the warm welcome. I have heard so much about you, Y/n.” She took your hands in hers, and you were taken aback by the warm informal gesture. Your gaze fell upon the intricate tattoo adorning her hand and forearm, and in that moment, your heart swelled with joy for your cousin, and you dared to steal a glance at Rhys. His eyes were already fixed on you, and you couldn’t help but notice the subtle hints of tenderness and anticipation shining within them. You were so happy for him.

The formalities continued, and you exchanged polite words with Lucien, Elain, and Nesta. You longed for a chance to sit down and talk with them, to hear about their experiences since being freed from the cauldron. Your gaze wandered momentarily to Lucien, who stood near Morrigan, his amber eyes briefly glancing in your direction. A flicker of recognition passed between you, an unspoken acknowledgment of shared history. You had both suffered under the rule of the Spring Court, and it was a trauma you preferred to keep buried for now. But you couldn’t deny that you treasured the moments the young emissary had kept you sane within the trauma.

You stood next to Helion along with another Day Court emissary as Rhys, Amren, and Helion discussed some political topics. Deep down, you yearned for a moment alone with the inner circle, away from the prying eyes and expectations. But for now, you had to focus on the diplomatic matters at hand and navigate the complexities of the gathering. As the conversations flowed around you, you remained attentive, gathering information and assessing the dynamics between the courts.

Throughout the evening, conversations flowed, alliances were strengthened, and unspoken words hung heavy in the air. You played your part, engaging in polite conversation and maintaining the facade of an emissary, all the while battling the internal storm raging within you. It was beginning to wear on you though. Watching from afar at how Mor mingled with Nesta and Cassian. The Illyrian man had his arm around the oldest Archeon sister as they nodded and chuckled at Mor, and you wanted to smile. You had never expected Cassian finding a mate before you, but here you were.

A lot has changed since you had left indeed, and the longing you felt came back.

“You’re not my prisoner, you know. Feel free to mingle,” Helion’s voice chimed from behind, breaking through your thoughts.

“Isn’t that a bit informal?” you responded, sipping your glass of wine.

He arched an eyebrow, feigning surprise. “To talk at a party?” He snatched your wine from your hand.

You turned to face him, reaching for your half-filled glass that he held teasingly away from you. “Ah, don’t you think it’s a bit informal for an emissary to get drunk?” He added a playful spark in his eyes.

“To drink at a party?” You volleyed back, grinning mischievously as you continued your playful struggle for the glass.

“Why don’t you practice the talking part with Rhysand?” Helion suggested, his eyes glinting with amusement. “It seems like he’s eager to have a word with his dear cousin.” He gestured subtly behind you, and amidst the revelry and banter, Rhysand and Feyre made their way toward you both. However, before you could react, your gaze caught Azriel’s intense hazel eyes from their table behind the approaching couple, where he sat next to Elain. His massive wings appeared tense and uncomfortably confined by the chair. Elain chatted with him, but it seemed his attention was elsewhere, fixated on you. His shadows still whispered in his ear as one crept across the table.You resisted the urge to shudder, maintaining your composure, and quickly turned your attention back to Helion, whose grin remained firmly in place.

“Helion, may we borrow Y/n for a moment?” Rhysand inquired, one eyebrow raised, his gaze flickering between you and Helion.

Helion practically pushed you into Feyre’s arms. “Go ahead, I was just informing her that she’s free from her duties until later!” he announced with a mischievous glint in his eyes. The tips of your ears burned with embarrassment as you realized his intent to encourage your mingling.

“Thank you, My Lord,” you replied, bowing your head with a touch of sarcasm. Rhysand extended his arm, and you looped yours through it, allowing him to guide you towards their table. A nervous gulp betrayed your anticipation.

Feyre looked at you with concern. “Are you alright?” she asked, her tone gentle and caring.

“May we speak on the balcony?” you requested, your voice filled with meekness.

“Of course, it’s getting a bit warm in here,” Rhysand agreed, leading the three of you towards the balcony bathed in soft faelight.

You all leaned casually against the balcony railing, observing the lively feast taking place inside.

"How's the Day Court treating you?" he asked in a relaxed tone, as if to put you at ease. Away from prying eyes, you felt your shoulders relax. It felt good to be with your cousin where you both didn’t have to wear a mask.

"Well," you replied, "the Day Court doesn't quite compare to the beauty of the Night Court, but the days are undeniably bright." You struggled to find a suitable comparison for the Day Court's allure to the Night Court.

Rhys and Feyre almost snorted out their wine, their amusement evident. "I wonder why," Rhys sarcastically murmured.

Choosing to ignore your cousin's comment, you continued, "I've been making progress translating some texts for the court, and delving into a lot of reading.”

It seemed as though the High Lord and Lady expected to hear more and urged you to continue, but they realized you had nothing more to share.

Rhys cleared his throat. "Wow, that sounds like quite a lot," he remarked. You could tell he wanted to throw a snide remark, but a warning look from his mate kept him at bay. Where was Feyre centuries ago when you always found to be the butt of your cousin's jokes?

You shrugged. "Keeps me distracted." From your vantage point, you had a perfect view of the inner circle's table. Mor, Amren, Azriel, Lucien, Nesta, and Cassian were all seated there, drinking and picking at their food. Helion even made sure Amren had a chalice of beast's blood. You missed being a part of that group, laughing and sharing moments with them. The only person in the Day Court you truly felt comfortable with was Helion, and even that remained behind closed doors.

"Come home," the words made your shoulders tense. It wasn't your cousin who had spoken, but Feyre. You looked at her, finding understanding in her eyes, as if she knew what you were going through.

Your gaze wandered back to the inner circle. Your eyes fell on Azriel, who was listening with a ghost of a smile on his lips, as Cassian animatedly spoke, his wings flaring about and nearly knocking over Lucien's wine glass. The group tried to hide their laughter while Amren scolded them. Azriel's shadows discreetly moved the glass out of Cassian's wingspan, hiding his amusement.

"They miss you," Rhys genuinely expressed. "I miss you, and even the House misses you." Tears welled up, tightening your throat. "He won’t say it out loud, but he misses you too."

You didn't need to be told who he was. You knew.

"I didn't even say goodbye," you spoke with a heavy heart, guilt washing over you.

"That was over fifty years ago, Y/n," Rhys reminded you gently.

He placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "We have texts for you to translate if it’s a means to keep you busy, we could even have you train with Madja. Want an apartment on the opposite side of town from the House of Wind? Consider it done. Desire a cottage in the middle of nowhere? It's yours. Just please, stop running away," Rhys pleaded.

You felt tears welling up, but you willed them away. "I... I just can't leave," you stammered. You could feel your heart torn.

"You can," Feyre said sympathetically, holding your hands. "Helion asked us to come and talk to you."

"We won't force you, but he mentioned that you've changed in the last few years," Rhys added. Feyre's grip on your hands tightened.

"Please talk to them maybe and think about it?" she requested. You knew she meant the inner circle.

Biting your lip, you contemplated. "I'll find you in a bit. I need some time alone."

With a nod, Rhysand and Feyre understood your need for solitude. They exchanged a brief glance before making their way back inside, leaving you alone on the balcony.

Leaning against the railing, you let the cool evening breeze brush against your skin, smell of wildflower and honey in the air, the quietness of the moment allowing your thoughts to swirl. Images of your past, the friendships you had forged and the bonds you had left behind, filled your mind. The longing in your heart grew stronger with each passing second your family stood in the same room as you. A longing you pushed deep down when you were still under the mountain, uncertain of seeing your loved ones again.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath, trying to not let tears slip. It was true that you had changed over the years, that the weight of your experiences had shaped you into someone different. But running away had only prolonged the pain, and you knew it was time to confront it. If your cousins had endured the pain, you were sure you could too.

Slowly, you pushed yourself away from the railing, determination igniting within you. You couldn't stay on the sidelines any longer. The inner circle had always been your family, even if circumstances had driven you apart. And now, as you stood on the cusp of a decision, you realized that it was time to bridge that gap.

Stepping back inside, you navigated through the crowd, searching for the familiar faces you had missed dearly. You found them at their table, still engaged in their playful banter, laughter filling the air. Taking a deep breath, you approached, your footsteps faltering only slightly.

As you reached the table, a hush fell over the group, their gazes turning towards you. Azriel's eyes locked with yours, and the shadows around him seemed to ripple, as though mirroring the tumultuous emotions within you.

"Can I join you?" you asked softly, your voice carrying a blend of trepidation and hope.

The response was immediate and overwhelming. Cassian's boisterous laughter echoed as he clapped you on the back, nearly knocking the breath out of you. Nesta's sharp gaze softened for a brief moment, Elain offered a warm but wary smile, and Lucien's amber eyes held surprise. Morrigan's voice was a welcoming melody as she pulled out a chair for you, and Amren, in her own enigmatic way, nodded approvingly.

Taking your seat among them, you couldn't help but feel a sense of homecoming. And as you settled into the comfort of their presence, you could feel your frozen heart just dethaw slightly.

“Y/n, I knew you were always shy, but around us?” Mor teased you endearingly, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “You look so beautiful tonight!” She gushed, her words filled with genuine admiration as she played with a strand of your hair. “The dress would be better in a darker color though.” She whispered the last part so only you and the inner circle could hear, her voice laced with a conspiratorial tone.

“The gown color does wash you out,” Amren chimed in, her bored expression not fully hiding a hint of amusement.

A laugh bubbled out of your chest, surprising even yourself. "Not the first thing I thought I would hear from you in years," you quipped, a playful smile tugging at your lips. Amren raise her glass to you before taking a sip of the thick liquid in the cup.

“Better than that raggedy spring court piece you came back in, though," Rhysand interjected, his voice filled with playful banter as he and Feyre settled into the extra seats at the table. The original inner circle chuckled at the memory.

Despite that being one of the worst days of your life, you couldn't help but smile too. The shared laughter brought a warmth to the air, softening the edges of past wounds.

“You should’ve seen the dress I came to the Night Court in," Feyre chimed in, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

“Another monstrosity by Ianthe," Lucien muttered into his glass before taking a sip, his voice tinged with a touch of disdain. Your eyes widened at the snide comment, but the group erupted into laughter, momentarily forgetting the weight of your burdens.

As the night wore on, Helion raised his glass, signaling a toast to the alliance between the two courts. The hall fell silent, and you raised your glass as well, a faint smile playing at the corner of your lips. The toast created a joyous noise as everyone in attendance drank, and the music started playing. Mor instantly beamed and grabbed Feyre’s hand, followed by Elain, leading them to the dance floor. Rhysand and Lucien joined them, their steps filled with a carefree grace. Cassian took Nesta’s hand, and they followed suit. Amren excused herself to converse with the emissary from the Day Court with a request of Azriel to accompany her.

You turned to Mor, insisting you would join them shortly, as you wished to find Helion. She nodded understandingly, giving you a knowing smile as she disappeared into the swirling crowd. You made your way toward Helion, feeling the warmth of the night and the drinks starting to loosen your tongue and heart.

“Do you wish to get rid of me so easily?” you feigned offense, walking up to his side. The merriment of the evening had given you a newfound boldness. Your body hadn’t felt this light in ages. Your gaze met his, and a flicker of understanding passed between you.

Helion shook his head, a gentle smile gracing his features. “No, darling, never. I just think your heart belongs somewhere else.” His words were filled with gentle encouragement. He patted the arm of his chair, offering you a seat upon the rest. With an eye roll and a smile, you accepted, settling into the plush chair arm.

"Your presence is lovely, your duty is commendable, but I couldn't sit here watching you turn to stone any longer," Helion continued, his voice filled with genuine concern. His finger absentmindedly found the wrist under your bracelet, his touch a feather-light brush against your skin. A wave of warmth washed over you, and the faint scent of wildflowers drifted through the air.

"Besides, maybe it's time you face a certain Illyrian man," he whispered discreetly, his words carrying a hint of suggestion.

You looked at him, confusion swirling within you. His eyes subtly glanced over to the corner, and you followed his gaze. Azriel stood behind Amren, his intense gaze fixed on Helion and you. His jaw was clenched, and his wings were taut with tension, as if holding back an impending storm. The sight of him sent a jolt of both excitement and apprehension through your veins.

"I can't ignore those ravenous stares, knowing he wants to rip me to shreds, and not in the way I like," he added, teasingly toying with your bracelet as if oblivious to Azriel's presence. The Day Court High Lord knew exactly what he was doing it seemed. Azriel couldn’t have been glaring at Helion; it had to be you. Memories of your past argument with Azriel flashed through your mind, the intensity of the argument still fresh. You had both nearly destroyed each other. You hadn’t ever heard you two speak so many volatile and vulgar things— especially at each other.

"I could never forgive him for what he said," you sighed. "What's even worse is that I can't forgive myself for what I did, not only to him, but to my family. I feel responsible for my ex-husband's actions towards them." You admitted, realizing that you had never spoken those words aloud before.

Beside you, the lord sucked his teeth in retort. "You can't blame yourself for what your father put you through by selling you to that pretty little beast." He sat up straighter and looked at you earnestly. "Nobody blames you, Y/n." You found yourself unabashedly staring back at Azriel as he was still looking at the interaction between you and the high lord.

“We all carry burdens from our past, but we mustn't let them define our future," he said gently. "You were caught in a web spun by others, but you have the strength to break free. It's time to forgive yourself and embrace the healing you deserve."

You nodded nimbly, biting your lip in contemplation. You would always hold gratitude for Helion. His kindness you’ve experienced for the last several years was more than what you deserved and needed, but he still provided it. If you returned to the night court you wouldn’t have known where you stood in the court. What your rank would be, what your friends thought of you, and where to even pick back up in your life. You just knew you haven’t felt this alive in awhile, and you craved the feeling.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

[x] next chapter

Let me know your thoughts, and feel free to like and reblog! I might change the title but that’s tbd.

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leighsartworks216 · 8 months

Note

If the requests are still open... May we have an astarion x Reader inspired in these song: https://youtu.be/CRllw_LSesQ?feature=shared

I can't stop thinking how much it would suit our lovely vampire while realizing he's starting to catch feelings for Tav

Short but sweet <333 Also I love that song sm I listened to it over and over again when I first discovered it like last year or a couple years ago lol

Warnings: manipulation

Word Count: 441

Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

Astarion doesn’t realize what’s happened until he’s already in too deep. Charming lines from 200 years of practice become genuine, and a bit less cheesy. (Though, they still make you laugh more than blush.) Your asking if he’s okay with every slightly uncomfortable thing stops making him bristle. (Though, he cannot ignore the sirens that go off in the back of his mind each time.) Getting so lost watching as you go around camp helping everyone else, never resting until everyone is satisfied, that he doesn’t notice the fond look in his eyes or the subconscious smile on his lips. (Though, the moment you look over, he’s rolling his eyes and scowling and flipping the page in his book.)

It was like one day he woke up, basked in the sun, and realized. Everything he’d done to manipulate you, trick you into liking him so you’d protect him, had turned around on himself.

First, he thinks you may have done something. You must have! You bewitched him or injected something into your blood to weaken his mind or… something! You saw right through him and used his own charms against him - that must be it!

So, naturally, he distances himself. Builds his walls back up. And you notice immediately. Perhaps his self-preservation had tampered with your plans. But when you asked, and he claimed he was tired or hungry - or whatever excuse he could make up in the moment - you just smiled, provided a solution, and allowed him his space.

And, gods, it made him fall deeper.

And, gods, did that terrify him.

From the very first moment he landed on that beach, safely warmed in the sun’s rays and free from the incessant tug of Cazador’s commands, all he’d been worried about was removing ties. “Befriending” you was the safest, fastest way to destroy Cazador. A necessity if he had any hopes of killing his puppeteer. He had minimal attachments, exposed very little of himself, and still he failed. He waltzed right into someone else’s arms. Into their control and power and protection, like a complete and utter fool.

And he knows he’s wrong. You didn’t deceive him. You weren’t trying to use him for more than picking a lock here and there or stealth combat. He wasn’t falling for you because of some grand scheme. He wasn’t walking into the strings of another puppeteer, ready to make him dance at their command.

Perhaps that made it worse. That everything he felt was by the fault of no one else - not even his own fault. It just was. An indisputable fact of the universe.

He was in love with you.

---

Tag List:

@satelliteapotheosis @hypopxia @flsalazar @beverlybeav @angelofthorr @emiemiemiii @marina-and-the-memes @lynnlovesloki @aurasyn @furblrwurblr @cappsikle @mjmygd @thegirlsadventuresinwonderland @mheerdraws @kindadolly @httyd-chocolate @bloopthebat @pandimoostuff @chesb0red @black-star1472 @sessils @olitheghostboy-blog

#request #requested #fanfic #fanfiction #astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate astarion #baldur's gate tav #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate tav #bg3 astarion #bg3 tav

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hwanghyunjinenthusiast · 5 months

Text

Kinkuary Day 3

AN: You all moved on but, I stayed here. This hair on him was so good, idc. Don't ask me where this came from because I couldn't tell you lmao. Also, at this point, these will come out when they come out lol but, I am still very much working on Kinkuary.

Synopsis: Namjoon has always joked that Jungkook has terrible self-preservation. Maybe he's right. And maybe Jungkook would willingly fall into your clutches every single time.

General tags and warnings: Jeon Jungkook x Fem! Reader, Jungkook and Reader are friends with benefits, hybrid au, bunny hybrid! Jungkook, fox hybrid! Reader and this is just pwp if I'm being honest.

Primary kink: Knife play (pretty heavy blood play too).

Smut tags and warnings: Dom! Reader, sub! Jungkook, knife play, blood play (Jungkook bleeding and Reader licking his blood), Jungkook being pretty masochistic and Reader being pretty sadistic, dirty talk, hints of primal play, handjob (m. receiving), slight overstimulation (m. receiving), very mild degradation (m. receiving), some praise (m. receiving) and petnames.

Word count: 1.3k.

I will block you if you are a minor and/or have no easily visible indication of your age on your blog if you interact with me in any way.

Jungkook isn't sure how he wound up here.

Well, that's not entirely true. He does know how he ended up in your bed. Again. However, he'd rather not validate Namjoon's relentless teasing so, he prefers to feign ignorance.

“Am I boring you? You seem distracted,” you purr into his throat, your sharp canines lightly dragging along his jugular with enough pressure to speed up his heartbeat. He shakes away thoughts of his best friend, “No I– I was just thinking about something work related. I'm sorry.”

“Aw, I guess I really am boring you if you're thinking about work right now,” he can't see your face but, he can see your faux pout as clear as day. The apology he's about to stutter out is interrupted by a choked moan when your hand drifts to cup him through his slacks. His hips buck up into your hand without his say so but, based on the way you nuzzle into him and giggle, you don't seem to mind all that much.

“You're so cute, bunny,” Jungkook hates that nickname with a burning passion but, he can't bring himself to feel anything except affection when you call him that. A gasp flies out of his mouth when he feels the familiar cool, sharp edge of one of your blades. His eyes fly open, his ears twitching insistently and his instincts screaming at him to run. Get away. Anything. However, he shoves them down and bends his neck to allow you more access. His cock throbbing in the confines of his boxers.

Desire twists in the pit of his stomach when you add more pressure. The familiar sting of your blade prompts his lashes to flutter, his body practically crumples against your chest and god, it's been too long since he's let you have him like this if a single press of your knife is enough to render him so dizzy already. He groans when you drag it along his skin. Strong hands gripping your thighs to steady himself somehow while your other hand focuses on unbuttoning and unzipping his pants.

“You're so pretty, Kookie,” you whisper so softly that he almost misses it. The praise shoots straight down his spine to his already hard cock. His head lolling back slightly and a throaty whimper leaving his lips when your hand finally manages to free him from his boxers and slacks. His hips jerk when you wrap your hand around as much of him as you can. That does make him crack his eyes open. The sight of your pretty hand wrapped his slick cock adds even more fuel to the want building in his veins.

“Please,” he heaves, squeezing his eyes shut when you tighten your grip around him but, do nothing else. Your blade dragging down his throat until it reaches his shirt. He should be a little more upset at you using your knife to cut it open but, he honestly can't bring himself to care much right now. Especially with each brush of the blade against his bare chest. Fuck. He never thought he'd miss it this much.

“Please what, bunny?” You ask into his shoulder. A large part of him admires your ability to multitask. He has no idea how you can focus on more than one action at a time right now but, you have always been better at keeping yourself together than him. He tries to access his brain to think of something to say to you. He's sure you can feel him throbbing in your hand but, you have always had a bit of a sadistic edge.

“I– please. I'm so hard. Wanna cum so bad, please,” he whines, turning his head until his lips meet yours. It's incredibly uncomfortable but he couldn't care less. You kiss him back with so much ferocity that he's lucky he doesn't get swept away from the sheer force. Your canines nip his lip harshly enough to draw blood and, he can't tell who moans louder. You swallow all of his sounds of pleasure when your hand does finally grant him some relief. Your strokes are unforgiving from the get go. The slick sounds of it echoing throughout your bedroom. The only thing keeping him from fucking your fist like he so desperately wants to is the blade being dragged across his abdomen.

For a brief moment, he wonders if it would be completely insane for him to fuck your hand anyway. Letting the blade press and press into his skin until it draws blood.

If you notice the way he throbs in your grasp at the thought, you don't mention it.

“Can't wait to mark you up,” you mutter against his bruised and bloodied lips. Pressing your knife deeper into his skin enough for the pain to add to the foggy state of his mind. The faint lines you leave across his stomach sting a little but, it's nothing he can't handle. If anything, it's not enough.

“More, please,” he whimpers, gently grasping your wrist and pressing the blade further and further into his skin until it hurts. You make a noise so animalistic that it sends up his prey warning signals briefly but, he resists. He knows he can trust you. Against all instinct and better judgement probably but, he'd let you make him bleed as much as you want to.

“I didn't realise you were such a pain slut,” you laugh and the sight of his blood painting your lips is far, far too attractive. He's getting dangerously close and he can't help but, feel a twinge of embarrassment. Has it really been so long that your hand and a few cuts of your knife are enough for him to already be teetering so close to the edge? God, he's pathetic.

“Just missed you. Missed this,” he gasps, his hips snapping into your grasp when you quicken your pace. Electricity building in the base of his spine and sending sparks to his extremities while you drag your knife up to his throat. If he wasn't sitting on it, you'd see the way his tail wags excitedly at the mere suggestion of your actions. “Gonna cum. Wanna cum so bad, please please please–”

His release slams into him like a train when you dig your knife into his neck enough for him to bleed. Droplets run down his chest but, he's too preoccupied with projecting out of his body somewhere into the galaxy to pay too much attention to them. His body folds into itself when you continue to stroke him through his orgasm. Wringing as much of his thick cum out of him as possible and painting his stomach and thighs white with it all.

“Too much, too much, too much,” he gasps out once he's able to put words together. Jolting away from your hand and sagging against you once you grant him mercy and stop stroking him. Sticky with a mix of his blood and his cum, all he can do for now is try and steady his breathing and piece himself back together while you lap at his neck and stroke his arm with your unfairly soft tail.

“Don't fall asleep on me yet, bunny,” you tease him and that's when he realises he shut his eyes who knows how long ago. Blinking them open, he's greeted with the sight of his blood smeared on your lips and chin. Your ears twitching pleasantly when you absentmindedly lick at what you can reach with your tongue.

Maybe Namjoon is right.

Maybe he is just the dumbest bunny hybrid alive who willingly puts himself in the clutches of a woman who could end him in a heartbeat. However, now, while he comes back to himself and feels his cock starting to jump back to life at the vision you create, maybe that wouldn't be so bad.

Reblogs are greatly appreciated!

Do not repost, edit, copy and/or translate my work. I do not give you my permission to do so, nor will you ever receive it.

Kinkuary Masterlist | BTS Masterlist | Ko-fi.

#jeon jungkook smut #jungkook smut #bts smut #bangtan smut #jeon jungkook x reader smut #jungkook x reader smut #bts x reader smut #bangtan x reader smut

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celecaster · 2 months

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The most likely answer is probably 'depends on context,' I know, so please choose the one that applies most often. I would appreciate it if somebody reblogged for a better sample size because, like, three people follow me... lol

Additional question that you can elaborate on if so desired: are you 'neurodivergent' in any way?

Personal unnecessary schizospectral commentary that spurred this question, feel free to ignore:

In my personal case, it's almost always the last one. If I talk to someone directly I'll either quote them directly/append to a reblog instead of tag-rambling.

I'm obviously not Normal about how interaction is conducted though so I'm not comfortable using myself as a standard of evaluation: I'm almost always 'talking to myself' even when I'm talking to someone directly. Like, in my head if you say something to me and I answer you I don't 'feel' like I'm talking to you even when... I'm directly talking to you... I feel like I'm talking to myself out loud and incidentally another person sometimes hears me.

I feel like this makes even the most basic conversations with me very cumbersome because it's difficult for me to account for my self-speaking quirks like inside references, pronoun confusion, and an overall 'odd' and maybe even aggressive/rude tone. I've been told before both online and offline that I often seem 'surprised' or 'cagey' in a conversation as if a stranger suddenly approached me... even if the conversation's been ongoing for a bit.

I have a lot of perceptual weirdness that obviously links to this [ the whole 'other people are all the same person' and other anomalous time/space experiences which makes me sort of uncertain about the existence of myself or other individuals even when they're literally there ].

Anyway, a particular schizoid/avoidant case study that I read once that stuck out to me all this time was this person talking to somebody, and then they left while the other person was speaking without warning to get a notepad since they wanted to write down something the other person was saying. When they came back, justifiably the other person was angry and confused on why they just walked out.

It hadn't even occurred to the person who got the notebook to tell the other person 'Hey, I'm gonna get something first, be right back'—like even as they were already talking to that person they operate as if they're 'alone'.

That's a specific scenario not necessarily fully relevant to the question I asked above, just sharing it as the context of what made me think of it to begin with. lol. It may be more of a 'discrepancy' between me and 'tumblr culture' however.

#poll #d #schizoid tag #schizotypal tag #schizoposting #if nobody answers this poll that is okay. I have thr Buddha nature

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crosshairscrustysock · 9 months

Note

Let’s get some fun recommendations goin around here! What’s a piece of clone content (art, fic, etc) that has stuck with you as being notably excellent? Tag it in your answer so we can all find some new fun to read! If you want, of course; feel free to ignore! 💕

I would love to introduce to you these excellent fics

[im very happy to spread some fun recommendations]

So for a short smutty read :

For a short fluff read :

As for longer reads:

- I am currently reading these amazing fics <3

And soon to start this one :

And thanks for coming to my Ted talk, folks ,that's all tumblr seems to allow me to put :))

Lol I hope this list is what you were hoping for lol :) I'm always happy to recommend fics <33333

(you should definitely check out these author's master lists of works- they're quite incredible )

#the bad batch #star wars #clone thirsting #star wars fanfiction #crosshair x you #hunter x reader #ask #boba fett x reader #tech smut #clone smut #tech x reader #tech x oc #tbb hunter x reader

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zhongrin · 1 year

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swirl & crystallize

◇ characters ◇ (no romantic pairing) zhongli, xiao, kazuha, shinobu

◇ tags ◇ no pairing, tag game(-ish) but feel free to ignore the tag :3

◇ a/n ◇ happy new year! i'm starting a new tag game just because lol (any writers or artists welcome)

pick one (or more, if you want) of your existing teams and tell me all about them!

how are the dynamics between each character? do they work well as a team outside of battles? who is the mom friend and who is the dad friend? are they a friendly, tight-knit group, or are they hostile to each other? (optional) what would be their voice lines about each other as teammates?

ps. feel free to include your self-insert or oc in the team as the 'fifth character' if you want!

𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ⬙ 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

team: xiao, kazuha, zhongli, shinobu

✧— xiao ⇄ kazuha

xiao appreciates the way kazuha doesn't try to intrude his space and how he manages to sense whenever the yaksha wants to be left alone.

kazuha on the other hand is pretty neutral about xiao. mostly he appreciates the way the demon conqueror always protects the whole team, and so the ronin tries to include him in everything.

the team probably accidentally discovered that kazuha’s leaf-playing ability makes xiao relax, so the wandering samurai takes it upon himself to do it every now and then whenever things are calm and xiao is within the vicinity.

honestly, i think they get along very well despite not interacting that much on the surface.

xiao → “about kazuha“

“that wandeing samurai from inazuma? he’s… alright. polite. although the way he speaks took a while to get used to. the leaf flute? hmph…. i… suppose, it is quite relaxing.”

kazuha → “about xiao”

“a selfless protector blessed by the anemo archon himself. the winds around him are quite volatile, but i find that they would turn tranquil whenever a melodic tune dances in the air. as zhongli-sensei suggested, i’ve taken to the habit of playing the leaves more often as we wind down for the day.”

✧�� xiao ⇄ zhongli

probably is the closest relationship within the team. calm grandpa and feral surrogate son

zhongli is generally caring towards everyone in the team but he has a special soft spot for xiao - always pulling him back whenever things look bad on the battlefield.

(omg can you imagine zhongli picking up xiao by his scruff like he's a feral cat and flinging him out of harm’s way lmao-)

xiao knows he doesn’t have to worry about zhongli on the battlefield too, so that’s a huge burden off his shoulders.

xiao → “about zhongli“

“what more is there to be said? i am just honored that i am able to fight alongside morax again.”

zhongli → “about xiao”

“i’m glad you invited the young adeptus to travel with you. many times i have tried to persuade him to take some rest for a change of pace, but he never listened. please, indulge my curiosity; how did you manage to convince him to come along?”

✧— xiao ⇄ shinobu

neutral. they’ve already met in the chasm before, so shinobu knows about xiao’s self-sacrificing tendencies.

since shinobu is also smart and attentive - she knows when to put her foot down but also to leave xiao to his own devices.

xiao sees her as a reliable teammate.

mutual respect plays a huge part in this relationship, and while they’re not particularly close, they’re both comfortable with how it is!

xiao → “about shinobu“

“the electro wielder? she’s okay. responsible. i respect her.”

shinobu → “about xiao”

“i wouldn’t say that we’re close. but i am thankful that we have someone who is experienced in dealing with and efficiently fighting off dangerous monsters. although… this might be a rude thing to say to an enlightened being, but how can he fight so recklessly without an ounce of care for his own safety? i don’t mind patching him up, of course - boss is just as reckless as he is - but sometimes i just wish he would snap out of that selfless mindset already.”

✧— kazuha ⇄ zhongli

kazuha is intrigued and curious because he can somehow sense that zhongli isn’t exactly… normal? surely no normal man can make the last yaksha in teyvat himself bow down to his knees or speak so respectfully?

zhongli is thankful to kazuha for keeping xiao company and appreciates the way he always attentively listens to his stories.

they bond over literature and share their experiences. very wholesome dynamics.

kazuha → “about zhongli“

“there’s something about zhongli-sensei that i can’t explain... you know who he actually is, don’t you? haha, don’t look so surprised. it really is quite obvious. the demon conqueror reveres him, the wind respects him, and the soil thrums in his presence. though i am not privy to the details, i can sense that he’s not just a ‘funeral parlor consultant from liyue’. don’t worry; you don’t have to tell me anything. everyone has their own secrets, and i can respect that.”

zhongli → “about kazuha”

“an interesting fellow, that child. very attuned to nature itself. after hearing the stories of his travels and hardships, it occurs to me that his vision truly suits him; a wandering bird flying from one branch to another. i’m also very grateful that he managed to befriend xiao.”

✧— kazuha ⇄ shinobu

they naturally bond with each other over time. since they’re both inazumans, that makes them feel inclined to start talking to each other.

actually, given some time, i can even see them becoming friends!

shinobu pulls kazuha out of potential troubles and kazuha watches over shinobu to make sure she doesn't overwork herself.

a sibling-like relationship. lovely.

kazuha → “about shinobu“

“of course, i’m happy to have a fellow countryman on our travels! shinobu knows a lot of things and is more than happy to tell me what happened while i was away from inazuma, and what has changed since then. she makes for a good drinking company too; our taste in sake seems to match!”

shinobu → “about kazuha”

“well, at least he’s a lot more manageable than boss. still, i really don’t understand how someone could be so… spontaneous and unbound. one moment he’s sitting on a tree branch watching the clouds, the next moment he’s using his anemo powers to climb some cliffs - goodness, did you know he almost broke a leg three days ago?”

✧— zhongli ⇄ shinobu

the “parents” of the group, really. do i even need to say more?

keeps everyone out of trouble, very level-headed people who just want the best for the whole team and know that they can trust each other in this endeavor.

there’s just this one little misunderstanding, though (if you could even call it that)…

zhongli → “about shinobu“

“ah, the young lady is a mature and kind individual. have you seen her fuss around kazuha and xiao? i find the sight quite endearing. she has even asked me if my joints were okay when we hiked the mountains in sumeru the other day…... hmmm. in hindsight, perhaps i should not have answered with ‘older than your parents' when she asked me about my ‘real age’....”

shinobu → “about zhongli”

“i understand that you needed someone experienced in life and all in this expedition, but you really shouldn’t have asked an elderly person to tag along in such dangerous activity. hm? why are you looking at me like that? didn’t you know? i mean, i would have never guessed it from his youthful appearance either. i have heard that liyueans tend to look younger than their actual age, but even now i can barely believe that zhongli-sensei is that old. honestly, i’m still surprised he could still be so agile in combat.”

#genshin impact #rin writes #rin interacts #zhongli #kazuha #kaedehara kazuha #xiao #shinobu

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shepherds-of-haven · 7 months

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So just out of curiosity, what’re the Shepherds thoughts on Brionys whole amnesia situation? And follow up, what would they be like if they ended up with amnesia too? Sorry if two questions is too much, you don’t have to answer them if you don’t want to!

Hi there, how the ROs would react if they ended up with amnesia has been answered over in the #amnesia tag! As for how they feel about Briony's amnesia, it mostly goes:

Blade: it's a somewhat bizarre backstory, but not the craziest thing he's heard (especially in relation to everyone else). Mostly he sympathizes with her fears that something from her past could come back to blindside her, that aspect of it appeals to his natural paranoia so he's keeping a wary eye out in case that day ever happens and he needs to have her back!

Trouble: he feels bad for her; relationships are important to him, and while he lost his parents young, he at least knows enough about them to have closure about it--Briony doesn't have that, so he sympathizes with the 'not knowing' aspect of it and feels really bad for her! Mostly he just tries to keep her spirits high and not make her dwell on it, since nothing much can be done, so he never brings it up!

Tallys: amnesia is basically like her worst nightmare: having lived for so long and being a Keeper means history and personal recollection is really important to her, so she's privately horrified by what Briony's been through and is always around to talk about it with her, but she doesn't want to pry or bring it up unprompted... Since Briony's never brought it up to her, though, they don't end up ever really discussing it!

Shery: she feels bad for Briony, but at the same time sees how happy and fulfilled Briony seems to be as her current self, so she doesn't think it's too much of a big deal because Briony never seems to let it bother her? She's more focused on helping her feel at-home and comfortable and helping her learn "new" things rather than trying to recover stuff about her personal past and memories!

Riel: he's intensely curious about Briony's past: it's probably one of his biggest "private projects" at the moment, lol, he's been conducting quite a lot of research in the background... he knows that Briony isn't all that interested in doing any deep dives herself, but doesn't really understand that on an intellectual level. If it were him, he'd stop at nothing until he knew... Anyway, he's going to dig up as much as he can and just hold it in private in case the day ever comes that it could come in handy for her!

Chase: honestly, although he's sympathetic to Briony, there's also something kind of freeing about the idea of having amnesia? Of having the opportunity to start over, completely unburdened by the chains, burdens, and traumas of the past, and to create a new life entirely on your own terms? It's not like he envies her, but he can see ways in which it's not as bad as it might seem at first glance!

Red: he's pretty much in Riel's boat, but is more respectful of Briony's privacy LOL he's intensely curious about her origins, but won't pry unless she asks him to! Mostly he's focused in helping her re-learn magic and is kind of her tutor to keep her brushed up on lessons she may have "forgotten", and very patiently explains common cultural ideas or concepts that she's ignorant of. He's kind of fascinated by the idea of an adult Mage having no memory of how to formally use magic but still being able to wield it anyway, and is low-key keeping extensive notes about muscle memory, mnemonics, and etc.!

Ayla: she doesn't think too much about it, honestly! To her, Briony is Briony: the fact that she doesn't remember much about her past doesn't really have any bearing to her? 🤷🏻‍♀️ She feels a vague sense of protectiveness towards her, like the idea that one day her past might come back to reclaim her/take her away from the Shepherds, and Ayla's not going to let that happen easily lol, she's theirs now!!

Lavinet: she's sympathetic, but to her, Briony's amnesia is a small aspect of her and their friendship, so she doesn't think too much about it, especially because Briony herself prefers not to dwell or talk about it very much! I think the idea of being captured and held as a slave while having amnesia was more horrifying to her than having amnesia itself!

Halek: he like barely remembers Briony has amnesia because she acts so normal and chipper on a daily basis that it's easy to forget, honestly lol! When he does remember, it's like "huh. you know, that would be a bummer if I couldn't remember [x]" but other than that, it's not much of a thought to him because Briony herself doesn't really make it a big deal!

Hope that all makes sense!

#Shepherds of Haven #Briony #Briony Stormbreaker #amnesia #all characters

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voidedmuffin · 3 days

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Hey Systems!

Mostly directed at the Quotev refugees, but obviously anyone is welcome! Also, if you're a kinnie, there's also stuff in here for you regarding sourcecalls and fun blogs!)

First of all, hi. I feel weird doing this on my main blog since I'm not exactly public with it, but I figured it'd be less confusing. Yay

Feel free to ask questions in the comments/reblogs/notes on this post or in my blog inbox(you can do so anonymously as well, but you won't get a notif for it). Lemme know if I missed anything

This is a Lot of ground to cover, and therefore a long post!

System related tags, blogs and sideblogs, source/canoncalls, system-related blogs

Basic system-related tags and what they mean:

#sysblr General system tag for when you're just talking about assorted system stuff, or being yourself and would like the system community to see. Alt related #system stuff, #sys stuff, #system, #plural, #plurality

#actually did, #actually osdd Posting about the disorder itself. Whether it's studies or your specific experiences with it

#syscourse System-related discourse. It's common courtesy to leave the other sys-related tags off syscourse posts because it's rude to drag people in who are casually scrolling through a tag not wanting to see syscourse

#endo safe + #anti endo Endogenic systems are ones that form without trauma. Have whatever opinion on them you want. It's just a tag to welcome/ask them to leave. Alt related #anit endo, #pro endo

#[system/introject/etc] positivity Your usual positivity posts!

#sourcecall If you have fictives that are wanting to reach out for sourcemates from their piece of media, you're gonna wanna tag with this! You can also find blogs that allow you to submit to them anonymously to find sourcemates. Alt related #canoncall

#fictive, #factive I think this is self-explanatory. Posting about fictives/factives--being one with experiences, or looking for others. Related to source calls, you'll also want to tag with #[media] fictive, #[character] fictive. I'll get into how to go about making these posts later, along with those blog reqs. Alt related #introject

Blogs and sideblogs

Obviously, you'll have your main blog that you make when you get Tumblr(mine is @voidedmuffin, as you see here), but Tumblr allows the unique ability to have multiple sideblogs completely separate from your main. Some people use this feature to make a spam blog, art blog, interest blog, ask blog, etc. A common thing with the system community here is alter-specific blogs and/or a general system blog for catchall stuff. I'll be using some of ours as examples

Starting with comparing them. @legsystem is our general catchall system blog that our alters can post to publically or anonymously. I tend Not to post system-related things on my personal blog, just cuz I'm a little private about it. @timdrakesstaff is a fictive alter of Tim Drake from DC(he's a loser, lol). He made his own blog to interact with others as himself without needing to mask as the host. Some other alters Also use his blog because they like encroaching on others' property, lol

Our immediate bios aren't very descriptive because of our private nature, but it gets the jist across of pronouns and age. Some system blogs will link their Carrd or Rentry here, or do that in a different post.

The reason Tim's blog has two URLs listed is because if you view it on desktop, you can see a very personalized page! Very cool Tumblr feature that you can find layouts for!! That means you layout makers have enrichment here still! In fact, you have a lot more wiggle room!

Now, if you scroll down on Legsystem, you will see a pinned post

... Ignore that typo, lol

It just lays out some more information and ground rules. This is often where people will put their DNI's and stuff. We didn't use a lot of tags on it just out of preference. These can be as short or as long as you want. You don't even have to have one if you don't want to!

Sourcecalls/Canoncalls

The main difference between these two things is that the system community tends to not use the canoncall tag, as that's primarily used by the kin community, cuz it's a spiritual multiversal connection thing? I dunno, my knowledge on kinning comes from 2017-2020 Qutev kinmunity and uhhhhh, that was just a large group of systems who Didn't Know Yet, lmfao. Sourcecalls are just for finding fictives from the same source as you!

Like I said, there are lots of blogs out there that let you submit anonymously for a source. @findinyourkin @findthebae @kincalling @problematickincalls1(specifically for problematic sources or characters, or specific timelines. They don't tag triggers, so be mindful) among many other blogs, I just know that these are popular and active ones to use!

These blogs will often have their own criteria for sourcecalls, but it usually follows Character-source-age-age range you comfy with-contact with added option of adding in memories you have to make your distinguishable or who in particular you might be looking for. Some blogs ask you to specificy if you're kin/fictive and if you're okay with the other interacting As for contact, you can link/@ a blog in the call, reblog the call to said blog, or add a "interact(like/rb) this post and I'll reach out to you!". You can turn on notifications for a post, but it doesn't always work

When you go to look for sourcemates, you'll want to look up the #[media] fictive or #[character] fictive. (Alternatively #[media] kin or #[character] kin). The former is Everything, the latter is for a specific person. This can be used to find that specific guy you might be looking for "I'm a X fictive looking for Y fictive from Z source. I will go into the #Y fictive tag to see what I can find. Or I will see all the different/unsorted people by searching #Y fictive]"

Here's a couple examples from our system! (Click on the second image to actually see the full thing, lmao)

On the left is a sourcecall post anonymously to a search blog. It follows the basic criteria I listed above. In the blog's post, they'll end up tagging it with #canon calls, #lance mcclain fictive, #voltron fictive, #fictive some blogs will tag a little differently or more in-depth. Lance ended up reblogging his sourcecall post to @legsystem so people could find him/the blog easily

On the right is a sourcecall post made by the alter on their own blog. It's very direct. Tim lists more stuff in his post than Lance did in the anon one, but ultimately they're very similar! Tim also made his in 2022 and still gets interactions(like, 2 in the last week alone, lol). So, if people look for you, they will find you!

Let's look at the tags he used...

#fictive#introject#dc fictive#dc kin#dc introject#tim drake fictive#tim drake kin#tim drake introject#canon calls#source call#kin call

This is a very wide net. He's fine with kins interacting as well, so he included the kin call tag. He tagged the relevant fictive tags, as well as his own character tag. Since it's his main/permanent sourecall, he didn't tag specific fictives he's looking for, but he's done so in other posts in the past.

System-related blogs (And kin-related!)

They're are plenty of blogs besides sourcecall ones that engage with the system community at large!

@funnier-as-a-system Will reblog posts that can be read as a system, even if that wasn't the original intent of the post. Always makes me laugh

@fictive-culture, @pluralcultureis and @systemcultureis Are both blogs that post submissions with Relatable content on general fictive and system culture. There's also more specific versions of these blogs out there. Like demifictive, factive, little, etc culture

@fictionkinfessions And other related blogs post submitted (usually anonymous) confessions. You can be as up front about who you are an/or who you might be talking about. There are also related blogs for venting

@findinyourkin @findthebae @kincalling @problematickincalls1 Previously mentioned source/canoncall blogs! They're great

There are also plenty of system-related and friendly Discord servers around. You'll be able to find them easier on Disboard, but you can find them on some of those above blogs, in some of those source fictive tags, and just through the people you meet! (Tim always throws an active comic server at all the DC people he meets, lmao)

Good luck and have fun!

#Now to put all those system tags to use lmfao #quotev #sysblr #plural #actually did #actually osdd #actually plural #tumblr refugee #system help #Good enough I think #If I was insane I'd make a post about the difference between kinning and systems #Quotev kinning is a pipeline to discovering you're a system btw. The difference in the two kinmunities is Insane and eyeopenning

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