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nevertheless-moving · 3 years

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Lost Luke Part Three

Star Wars Time Travel AU #19 (Wholesome Luke Time Travel AU) Part One . . . Part Two

One of the best things to imagine in this au is how the Skywalkers interact with Obi-Wan Kenobi because this is just before/interrupts the incidents that profoundly broke their faith in him but after he earned their unshakeable devotion (that is, to say, after he met them).

Anakin: “So you lived with your Aunt and Uncle but Obi-Wan was the one who actually raised you, right?” Luke, who has barely ever had a conversation with Old Ben: “No, I mean he seemed cool obviously but no. I mean he was around sometimes I guess...” Anakin, nodding knowingly: “Yeah, he totally raised you. He’s stealthy about that sort of thing.” Luke: ...?

Later on, as Luke is learning about the force and stuff, he starts to get a little bit more of a sense of how Ben had in fact been a feature in his life

(he’s been hired on as civilian mechanic with the 501st. Obviously this should be banned because a) that’s not a thing and b) attachment, but consider: He’s genuinely talented at everything, the Council reluctantly kind-of liked this one, Anakin pulled the slave card right when the council was at peak-slave guilt, Obi-Wan was quietly sure if they said no Anakin would quit, and also when Palpatine first heard about twin brother he went, ‘oh, worm?’ (The whole Luke vs Palpatine is a separate thing))

Pretty much everything he figures out about Ben on Tatooine is just- really sad. Like, he knew the Jedi were gone and Ben was upset about it but the Jedi are clearly Obi-Wan’s entirely family and culture oh my gods he really didn’t have anything did he.

And Luke doesn’t quite share Anakin’s conviction that Obi-Wan was on Tatooine just for him- it is in Hutt space, not a bad spot for avoiding imps. Luke was maybe a coincidence, or a bonus. Why else would he wait so long to actually introduce himself? It’s uncomfortable either way to think about this incredible Jedi Master and General fallen so low, an outcast and a drunk. But living on Tatooine for the sole purpose of being the same vague proximity as his dead friend’s son would be...yikes, pretty tragic.

The more he meditates and learns, the more he feels that something about Obi-Wan’s force-signature is familiar, but he can’t quite make it match up with his hazier pre-training memories.

It’s not until Obi-Wan is truly miserable- maybe a trooper Obi-Wan tried desperately to save dies in his arms- that Luke goes oh. Because the ozone-heavy-petrichor-aura of Obi-Wan’s grief is a lot more familiar.

The impression of Obi-Wan’s quiet sadness clung to the incredible hand carved ships Luke found on Shmi’s grave as a child, and ok that explains where those came from.

A few nights when he was young he tasted the scent on the wind, always when there rumors about Sand People Raids, and that also explained how their homestead sometimes seemed mysteriously protected, even if Owen’s irritation and anger about the fact still didn’t make sense.

One time while racing alone in begger’s canyon he had panicked at the rumble of a Krayt dragon beneath his speeder, only to nearly crash in relief when a mating call from over the ridge redirected it. He had even tried to describe the petrichor smell to his friends but everyone in town acted like he made the whole thing up, because Old Ben had even been seen leaving town around the same time and he didn’t look eaten either.

The time he most vividly remembers the force-impression was just a couple years ago, when he and Biggs were in trouble with some of Jabba goons over a complete misunderstanding- long story. Luke admitted that he might have been a little drunk- again, a total misunderstanding. He and Biggs were hiding under a filthy cantina table when they heard shouting just outside, one of the voices recognizable as a particularly sadistic enforcer. Someone entered the bar and approached the bartender to ask a question; the two tensed up in fear. Footsteps drew closer to their not-very-good hiding spot and a man sat down, inadvertently kicking Luke in the face.

Old Ben peered beneath the table, looking extremely surprised, “Luke? What in the core are you doing under there?”

Biggs shushed the drunk Hermit, desperately whispering, “Please Mr. Kenobi, Jabba’s goons are after this, you can’t let them know we’re under here.”

“Jabba’s goons?” Ben asked, sounding bewildered, “You mean those ruffians who were standing outside?”

Luke and Biggs nodded frantically.

“Oh, they left, you don’t have to worry about them.” Ben took a sip of his drink, leaning back with a smile.

The two boys exchanged a look, “Are you- are you sure? They seemed pretty mad.” Luke asked tentatively.

“Oh, yes. Apparently there was a break-in at one of Jabba’s warehouses and he’s extremely displeased at all of his servants for their failure to prevent it. I imagine whatever small quarrel they had with you will be totally forgotten in the fallout.”

The pair dragged themselves up to the bench across from Kenobi, slouching over in relief.

“Oh my gods- thank the Krayt! Let’s get out of here, Luke. See, I told you things would blow over.”

Luke punched Biggs in the shoulder, “Yeah, right. We got lucky, bantha brains.” Luke cleared his throat and addressed Old Ben directly, “Thank you- I don’t know what we would have done if you hadn’t shown up.”

At the time he had ignored the hair raising on the back of his neck, the surge of foreign mixed emotions, and the strangely familiar smell-that-wasn’t-a-smell he could never quite identify.

At 17, he was somewhat used to what his Uncle called his ‘damn bleeding heart’ and what Bigs called ‘being weird about other people.' He figured it was kind-of like how deep spacers got twitchy about crowds after spending months with just himself- he spent so much time on the farm that sometimes just being around other people was overwhelming. Plus he was a little drunk at the moment.

Ben cleared his throat, “Oh no, no need to thank me, I’m sure I had nothing to do with it.”

Biggs rolled his eyes. “...Right. Well, anyway, thanks for letting us know. Come on Luke, let’s beat it!” And they scurried out, not looking back.

Luke hesitantly tells Anakin about the almost-familiar force presence that clung to these memories and Anakin gets frustrated and sad and happy and confused because force why did Obi-Wan have to be so weird about feelings? He appreciates that he was obviously silently protecting his son for 19 years but he seriously couldn’t have talked to him? Luke quietly grieves a man he never really had the chance to know and who he’ll never fully understand while firmly attaching himself to the current Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan: Fucks sake, now they’re both clingy, what did I do to deserve this?

#star wars #my au #lost luke au #star wars au no 19 #i know i just posted part 2 of a different au so hopefully this isn't confusing #star wars fanfiction #star wars au #Luke: i guess Owen just really didnt like him #Anakin: well owen's an idiot then #Luke: HEY #Anakin: sorry sorry kidding #Luke: ...do you think maybe he noticed all the stalking and got the wrong idea #Anakin:#Anakin: obi-wan might be an idiot

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redhoodssweetheart · 3 years

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Star-Crossed Lovers Part Two

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Requested: Yes @sarcasmismyfirstlove

Word Count: 2.5K

Warnings: Swearing, angst, Reader has an assumed name in this (she is not named, but she goes by Sophia Turner since she is in hiding)

Description: Y/N now lives in Metropolis, she likes her life, but she misses the one she lost. Jason has spent eight months trying to find her, but to no avail. Maybe they truly weren’t meant to be.

A/N: I originally wasn’t going to post this part so soon. But I got inspired today and couldn’t stop writing it. I hope y’all enjoy. And please pretend that’s not a notebook for school okay. I’m too lazy to go looking for something new right now.

Her window was open letting in a nice spring breeze. Dinner was cooking in the oven and she was reading over the events from that day. It had been eight months since Y/N had hopped off the bus at the Metropolis station and entered the motel she would be staying at for the next few days. That was when she had found a quaint apartment that would do until she got on her feet.

Her phone buzzed and she looked over at it.

Clark: I need a favor, Sophie.

Sophie. The name she had assumed when she moved to Metropolis. Her full name was Sophia Turner. Sionis was more than likely dead, but Y/N wasn’t taking any chances. She hadn’t stopped looking over her shoulder since that night, and sometimes she would dream that he had found her.

In her dreams sometimes he was torturing her, but sometimes it was Red sitting in that chair. He was begging her to do something while Sionis laughed sadistically and said, “My little puppet ain’t gonna do shit, Red. She used you.”

“No!” Y/N would cry when she registered the betrayal on Red’s face.

She would sit up straight in her bed and gasp before the dream went any further. Most of the time she would look at the clock and see it was still in the early hours of the morning.

Now she was staring at the text from Clark and sighed.

Sophia: I’m listening, but you’ll owe me, Kent.

Clark was a good guy. A little flighty at times, but that was part of his charm. He was the one that had taken the risk on her when she had gone to the Daily Planet trying to get a job. He never abused that either. He was a genuinely good guy, something that had unnerved Y/N at first, but now she was grateful for it.

Clark: I’m supposed to be meeting with Lex Luthor tomorrow to ask him about the Superboy project, but I’m needed elsewhere. Sort of a family emergency. Do you think you can cover for me with Lex?

Lex was Metropolis’s biggest asshole. And she could eat him for breakfast.

Sophia: Sure thing. Need me to water your plants while you’re away?

Clark: Please? I’ll leave the key to my place in my top desk drawer, just pick it up tomorrow when you come in. You’re a lifesaver, Sophie.

A lifesaver…. Sure.

Jason came home to the manor at least once a week for a good home cooked meal and so he wouldn’t be alone at the safehouse. He hadn't returned to the one that he and Y/N had always frequented. He couldn’t, she was still haunting the place. Tonight however when he entered the manor he heard Dick and Tim arguing.

“You need to tell him,” Dick hissed. “He deserves to know the truth.”

“No, I made a promise to her that I wouldn’t,” Tim spat back. “Plus I haven’t even found Sionis yet. How would it look if Red Hood showed up in a city other than Gotham? Sionis knows about them, and Y/N would be compromised.”

Jason’s breath hitched at the sound of her name. Tim knew? Tim knew and hadn’t told Jason anything.

He threw open the door so hard that it let a dent in the wall, Dick cringed knowing that Alfred was going to be mad at that. Tim looked coolly at Jason, unbothered by the display. “Where is she, Replacement?”

“Who?”

Jason was starting to see red. “You know damn well who. Y/N. Where is she? What the fuck did you do?”

Dick came over to Jason and put a hand on his brother’s shoulder, but it was roughly tossed off by Jason, “Jay--”

“Don’t,” he snapped, his gaze going to Dick. “Don’t you dare. Tim knows something and I want to know what it is.”

Bruce entered the kitchen, having heard the raucous that his boys were causing. “Tim, Dick, I need a moment alone with Jason.” They nodded and swiftly made their exit. Bruce leaned against the counter, “Y/N’s story about how she came to work with Sionis was true.” Jason looked at Bruce confused. “Except I met her a month before she met you.”

“What?” Jason’s tone relayed the shock he felt.

Bruce closed his eyes, “She got mixed up with the wrong people because of her boyfriend and after Sionis killed him he kidnapped her and forced her to take on the role as a bodyguard. Commissioner Gordon came to me with a note from an anonymous source from someone in Sionis’s organization telling him to send the Bat to a certain location. I met with Y/N and she told me that she wanted out, that she didn’t want to be payment for her ex’s misdeeds. She fed me information and in exchange I promised to set her free.”

“So you knew that she was going to fake her death this entire time?!” Jason’s anger was returning. He had spent the last eight months agonizing over where she could be, turning over every stone only to come up with a dead end. And this entire time Bruce had known it was a ploy all along.

“Yes, but didn’t know the two of you had been involved. She never disclosed that to me, and I didn’t expect her to tell me things she did in her free time.” Bruce looked regretful, “Jason, I think you were the only normal relationship in her life and I think you brought her some semblance of happiness.”

“Apparently not enough to tell me the plan,” he said bitterly.

Bruce pulled something from his pocket and passed it over to Jason, “It’s from her. I don’t know where it came from, but if I had to guess I wouldn’t be able to figure it out either. I haven’t read it, but maybe she will answer some of your questions.” With that, Bruce took his leave.

Dear Red,

By now you probably know that I’m not dead. Maybe you even know that I met with Batman a month before I ever even met with you. That was purely coincidental. I didn’t plan on things progressing like they did between us. It made my job a whole hell of a lot more complicated that it needed to be. And for what it’s worth I’m sorry for how it all went down, but Red, I hope you understand that I couldn’t tell you. That was just not an option.

I’m somewhere safe for now. I have been for awhile, just blending in and living my life to the fullest that I can. I hope you’re doing well too and not getting too many bullet wounds. Who’s going to patch you up now that I’m not there :p

He chuckled at the little hand drawn face.

I do miss you, Red. Our banter. Your kisses. How you made me feel normal for a few hours a night. Even with the mask on I could still pretend we were just two average people living our lives.

We were dealt a shitty hand, and as I told you that night we truly are just star-crossed lovers. I’ll see you in the next life, Red. Maybe that one will be kinder to us, and maybe I can finally see what color your eyes are. Can I tell you what color I think they are? Blue, I always imagined you had the prettiest shade of blue eyes. Like the sky on a summer day. Cloudless and beautiful.

I need to cut this short before I start crying on the page. Take care of yourself, Red. I’ll be waiting for you at the River Styx or maybe you’ll be waiting for me. And I’ll finally know your real name and what color your eyes truly are.

Goodbye, Red.

Y/N

Jason stared at your name signed at the bottom for the longest time and finally when he tore his eyes away from it, he neatly folded it and put it back in the envelope. He then headed up to his room and stored the letter in one of his drawers, not wanting anyone to disturb it.

The Daily Planet was bustling when Y/N arrived to work the following morning. Clark - who was usually in before her - was nowhere to be seen. She hadn’t expected to see him, but it was still weird.

Wandering over to his desk she found the key like he had promised and stuck it in her pocket before heading to her own desk and preparing for the meeting with Lex. Lois stopped by her desk to say good morning and chit chat for a few minutes before going to work on her own assignments. Around ten thirty Y/N headed out to LexCorp.

“Mr. Kent was supposed to be interviewing Mr. Luthor,” the receptionist said.

Y/N kept the forced smile on her face, “Yes, that’s true, but Mr. Kent unfortunately had an emergency that has taken him out of the city and he asked me to fill in.” She showed the receptionist her credentials. “I am more than qualified to handle the interview today.”

“It’s fine Lacy,” a new voice added and Y/N turned to see Lex standing there with a smile on his face. “I was alerted of the change last night, Mr. Kent was nice enough to email me and let me know. Miss Turner, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“You too, Mr. Luthor,” she responded. As she made to leave the receptionist area she shot a scathing look at the girl behind the desk who was frowning. She probably thought Y/N was some groupie waiting to throw herself at Lex.

As if.

The two of them made it into Lex’s office and he offered her something to drink. “Water, coffee, tea? Just say the word and I can have it here for you immediately.”

“No thank you, I’m quite all right,” the quicker that she could get this interview over the better. She got her recorder set up and looked to Lex, “Clark informed me that he was going to be talking to you about the Superboy project, is that correct?”

“Yes it is, everyone has been dying to know more about the program,” he responded. “The world needed a Superman, as I’m sure you’re aware Superman was thought to be dead there for a good while.”

Y/N had known that, although she had been in Gotham at the time more concerned with her own welfare than that of a superhero that had supposedly died. “I am, so you decided to respond and give Metropolis hope then? That is what Superman represents, is it not?”

There was a shift in Lex’s smile that Y/N picked up on, but she wasn’t going to push him on it. He apparently had a dislike of Superman, but if he didn’t like him then why create a clone? “Yes it is, and yes I wanted to give this city some hope that everything was going to be okay. That LexCorp would make sure that while the big, bad Superman was away I would be the one to look after us.”

Y/N hummed, “Mr. Luthor, how long have you been working on this project? This doesn’t seem like an overnight solution and you seemed to unveil it fairly quickly?”

“Are you trying to insinuate something, Miss Turner?” Lex’s eyes narrowed.

Y/N’s smile turned predatory, “No sir, just merely asking some questions. I wondered how something as complex as replicating Superman’s powers took place so quickly. And how? How did you replicate Superman’s powers?”

“I had some of Superman’s DNA on hand, a gift from the Man of Steel himself,” Lex replied coolly.

Hardly, Y/N thought. She knew how these heroes worked, their identities were pivotal in maintaining some semblance of a normal life outside of hero hours. There was no way that Lex had legally obtained that DNA sample he claimed to have gotten from Superman. “It sounds like you and Superman are close, would you say that the two of you are friends?”

“Oh yes,” Lex matched her smile as if trying to intimidate her. What he didn’t know is she had been around some of the worst Gotham had to offer and he didn’t frighten her in the slightest. “We were very close.”

“You must have been crushed when everyone thought that he had died.” She saw through his smile and the lies. Superman and Lex weren’t close, but he wasn’t going to say that in something that would be printed in the Daily Planet.

“I was, it was like losing an old friend,” Lex rested a hand over his chest for dramatic effect.

Before she could ask her next question they heard someone saying, “Sir, sir you can’t go in there.”

The door to Lex’s office opened and revealed Bruce Wayne. Y/N had never had the pleasure of meeting him when she had lived in Gotham. She hadn’t run in those circles, but she would know the billionaire anywhere. “Lex, we need to speak now.” His gaze landed on her and she froze. For the first time in a while she felt exposed under the intense look he was giving her.

“Could it wait, Bruce,” Lex forced out. “I am in a meeting with the lovely Miss Sophia Turner here.”

Y/N turned to Lex, still feeling the weight of Bruce’s stair on her back as she did so, “It’s all right, Mr. Luthor. You seem to have some important business to attend to right now. Thank you for your time. The article should be out by Friday if all goes well. Email me with any other information you can disclose about the Superboy project that would be pertinent for the article. Have a nice day,” then she fled as quickly as she could.

Bruce watched Y/N flee the office. Sophia Turner, huh? He wasn’t surprised to find her living under an assumed name. He looked to Lex who was glaring at him, “Did I interrupt something?”

Lex’s eyes narrowed, “You damn well know you did. Now what do you want?”

“You have a leak,” Bruce said, causing Lex’s face to pale.

Y/N made it back to her desk without any other blasts from her past and she began to go over the information she had from her interview and checked her email to see that Lex’s assistant had sent over any other relevant information she would need to type up the remaining gaps.

A few hours later she was closing up shop and heading to Clark’s to make sure his plants didn’t die. As she moved down the sidewalk her mind drifted to thoughts of Red Hood, wondering what he was up to and if he were okay. She also wondered if he had gotten her letter yet or if maybe he had thrown it out the moment he knew that it was from her.

She wouldn’t blame him if he had.

As she continued down the street she accidentally bumped into someone. She stumbled for a moment and looked up as she said, “Sorry.” When her eyes met his, she was shocked to find the prettiest blue she had ever seen.

He smiled at her, “It’s all right. Have a good evening.” Then he was sidestepping her and going about his business. She watched him go, wondering why he seemed so familiar to her.

And those eyes.

Like the sky on a summer day. Cloudless and beautiful.

#Jason Todd x Reader #Jason Todd x Fem!Reader #Jason Todd x Reader angst #Jason Todd #Jason Todd fanfic #Jason Todd fanfiction #Jason Todd angst #Requested

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rainywritingsx · 4 years

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hc: Lucifer, Satan & Beelzebub with a shy s/o

request:... 🥺👉👈Can I please get Obey Me! hcs of Lucifer, Satan, and Beelzebub with a shy s/o? You don’t have to do this one if you don’t want to! 😖

aaaaaaa I’d love to!! I had so much wrong writing this tbh being a little shy myself when it comes to crushes etc so I hope I was able to do well because of that ^^

Reminder that as of right now, requests are closed!

total word count: 1700

Tip jar ^^

I just realised the title looks so weird to people who don’t play obey me lmao i’m not a satanist i swear

Lucifer

we all know Lucifer is a sadist

he will basically feed off of making you flustered and even more shy

of course there’s a limit and he’ll know when to stop

and if anyone else makes fun of your shyness he won’t hesitate to teach them a lesson

he won’t push you to do anything you don’t want to do

and whenever you seem to need him, he’s there

you’re being bothered by some demons at school? Lucifer is there

one of the brothers is messing with you *ahem asmo i’m looking at you* ? Hi it’s the avatar of pride to the rescue

he thinks your shyness is adorable

but of course he won’t say it out loud

he’s too prideful for that lolol

also

because of your shyness he’s learned to figure out what you want without telling him

but sometimes he’ll act all smug and specifically want you to say it

he’ll act as if he really doesn’t know

“What do you mean, my love?”

“....”

“I can’t know for sure if you don’t say it.”

“okay okay!! j-just kiss me..”

uwu

but again he will be considerate of your limits

as for PDA, he won’t really do it much because he’s aware it will most likely fluster you

and there’s no need for him to show you’re his

the whole school practically knows you’re Lucifer’s s/o and well,,, they know not to mess with him

if it does happen that someone flirts with you he will state very clearly who you belong to

he might wrap an arm around you protectively but that’s it

in private tho

o o f

you bet there’s cuddles. lots of em

knowing his busy life, Lucifer probably needs moments like that once in a while

but again and i keeeeppp saying it, he won’t do it if he can tell you really really don’t want him to

wait I didn’t even mention how you two got together what-

okay so

Lucifer is not an idiot

while at first he did think it was just your shyness, he did start to notice that your behaviour towards him was rather different compared to his brothers

he thought that maybe it was just because of his position and him being close to Diavolo

but then it just kinda hit him

and well, to say that his heart didn’t race whenever he saw that adorable blush on your face would be a lie

so,,,, he confronts you about it (in private ofc)

will definitely ask you out on a date uwu

he’d pick something which he knows you love so you can ease up a little

but he’ll lowkey also try to make you flustered because it amuses him

but it won’t seem like it

but as you two talk more and more you’ll start to notice when he purposely says or does things to see you react

doesn’t stop you from being embarrassed though

sorry babe

but of course he loves you uwu

also

if there is any problem at school

literally anything from bullies to you being stressed

he will take care of it for you and of you if needed, no but’s accepted

overall he’s just a smug boi who loves you so much

kinda like “yes I get to make fun and tease my s/o but if you dare say a bad thing I’ll kill you” but in a cool and sophisticated way??

I’m just rambling at this point sorry

Satan

Satan finds your shyness endearing to say the least

he doesn’t mind it at all

in fact, it gives him some peace and quiet away from his loud brothers

when he meets you, he becomes kind of curious about you

you’re a human first of all but also your shyness sparks his interest

which is why he would like to hang out with you often

I can’t get the idea of Satan just reading with you in his room in silence out of my head

or, if reading isn’t your thing, he might read to you

idk why that came to mind lolol

he might encourage you to speak up a little at times, but forcing you is something he’d never do

if anyone talks badly to or about you and you don’t say anything about it, Satan will

he might do a little more than talking

also, he will ask if something is okay 100% of the time

but I also feel like at first he won’t initiate things at all

if he wants to hold your hand or kiss you he will wait until you do it

but slowly he will be able to read you (hehe) and even then he will ask if it’s okay just to be sure

but

when someone seems to not know you’re his s/o

he doesn’t get jealous but he does get angry

and you can tell

he’s smiling while talking to whoever bothers you but it’s not a reassuring one tbh

and he might just kiss you out of nowhere if his anger really really gets to him

will definitely apologise for doing it in public

“However, I do not feel sorry that I kissed you like that.”

“S-satan!!”

he’ll chuckle at your flustered state lolol

he loves seeing you blush, or, if you don’t blush, just seeing you all embarrassed

overall he just loves you for who you are and wouldn’t want to change a single thing

he will also enjoy doing things such as taking quiet walks with you (i’m dying over here AaaaAAAhhhH)

as for how the two of you got together,,,

this will probably be after you two have been hanging out for a while

Satan will immediately notice when he starts catching feelings for you

and while he does want to be with you, he’s worried

yes, Satan manages to keep his composure most of the time

but he’s not an idiot, he knows how he can get

and the last thing he wants is to hurt you

that really worries him a lot

but as time passes, he sees that… you’re still there? you don’t leave?

In his moments where he can feel himself transforming into his demon form, he will leave quickly however

and when he comes back he really wants to apologise profusely

but he sees you’re calm

and you aren’t disgusted and terrified

and I feel like that is when he really knows he wants to be with you without a doubt

so just like that, he asks you out

and when you say yes, he will just smile and feel the happiest he’s been in a while

suddenly Satan discovers a big love for romance books

Beelzebub

a real cutiepie

he would think your shyness is so cute!!

but Beel wouldn’t tease you over it at all

at first he’d be worried that somehow he made you scared of him

beel you’re a baby wdym scary

but after you or maybe one of the brothers tell him he’s just shy he will understand

he’ll try to be as careful as he can

I can’t get this one idea out of my head of Beel just pulling you into his chest if you’re in public and it’s getting too much for you

he’s huge so he’d basically cover you completely

and if anyone ever messes with you he will clearly get upset

he may not be as aggressive as Lucifer and Satan but he will still make clear that he did not like what someone has said about you

if you’re too shy to maybe talk to someone or ask something in a store, this cutie will do it for you!

he wants you to be comfortable and he doesn’t mind doing things like that for you

will definitely take you out on dates in restaurants (do those exist in their world idk now they do) and he will order for you!!

at some point he will just have your preferences memorized

as for physical contact, I don’t think Beelzebub needs it in the sense that he’s annoyed with your shyness

he lets you take your time so if you want to hold his hand and do it, you can. If you say you want cuddles, he’s more than happy to hold you

he’ll make sure to make you as comfortable with him as possible in your relationship

noowww as for how you two got together :D

I feel like most conversations would be in the kitchen because 1. that’s most likely where Beel is often and 2. talking about food is super easy for him lolol

so, whether it’s you cooking, baking or him just getting food in the kitchen, you two always end up talking

he will always ask if he can try whatever you’re making, and if it’s something he has never tried before he’ll want it even more!

and who can say no to this precious boy? (can you tell I love beel yet)

but as time progresses, you two also start having conversations that are longer and about other things

to the point where sometimes,,, it seems that Beel just forgets that he came to the kitchen for food and talks to you endlessly

he doesn’t completely lose his appetite

but he does notice it seems less important at times

and that’s where he’s like :o i caught feelings

being the sweet boy he is he decides to just be honest with you

but part of him is also really insecure

I mean, he eats so much and it’s not that he’s worried about his body, but he does feel like his constant hunger takes away his personality

he just doesn’t want to be boring but he’s afraid he might be exactly that

but when he tells you about his feelings and you say you feel the same, he’s happpier than ever!!

will pull you into a big big hug bc he’s so happy

then sees your face is about to explode so in worry that he hurt you he’ll immediately let go

“Y/n are you okay?”

he’s the sweetest boyfriend you could ask for

fuck i’m so soft Lucifer is my fave i swear

#obey me x reader #obey me x mc #obey me headcanons #satan x mc #beelzebub x mc #lucifer x mc #lucifer headcanons #beelzebub headcanons #satan headcanons #obey me #obey me shall we date #shall we date obey me #shall we date beelzebub #shall we date lucifer #shall we date satan

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thedarkone121 · 3 years

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Yuko “Satoko” Tshushima — Bungo to Alchemist OC

This was something that was bound to happen the moment Aiko was created with the idea that she would look like Dazai’s daughter. Specifically the one who could be summoned into the Library and Dazai would have a chance of seeing again. Everyone, say hello to Satoko Tshushima, pen name Yuko Tshushima.

If I was working for the game and they decide to include female Authors to it, this would be my pitch of Yuko. I tried to give her elements similar to Dazai’s; eyes, haori, and weapons. That being said, I also did my best to make her stand out as her own person. Cause if there was one thing I learned when researching the heck out of her; she sure as heck became a brilliant Author outside of her father’s shadow.

To be honest, creating and designing her felt weird to me. Considering her backstory, her themes in her books, and her non-existence relationship with Dazai, I felt put off at times when I worked on her. I never been a big fan of making fanfics about real people because they are REAL and they have an actual say on their own feelings about something. That being said, I was compel to continue because the different directions her dynamic with Dazai was too good to pass and I wanted to give my own interpretation of it.

Let’s move our topic to that, shall we?

When Yuko was summoned to the Library, she gave off a cheerful but polite persona. She was easy to talk to and was able to take any antic thrown at her — this is due to her having an appearance of a mom so she remembers her kids’ antics. When introduced to her father for the first time, Yuko was quick to introduce herself and wanting to established a friendship with Dazai, who was ready for the worst and whatever anger she threw at him.

She got along with Dazai’s friends very well and they were quick to become uncle-like friends to her (despite the fact she clearly looks older than all of them). Yuko sometimes attends their drinking parties and is often seen to be the only sober person by the end of it.

Underneath the smile, however, is a woman angered by society. While she has stated clearly that Dazai is not a father to her and holds no anger towards, she has hated how others used his suicide as a way to give mother and siblings grief. In a sick twist of irony, Yuko also could not understand why humans feel the need to harm others just because of one person’s actions. Don’t even get her started on being in her father’s shadow. She worked hard to establish her own place in the writing world and she was proud of her accomplishments and success of doing just that.

She takes this anger out on Taints whenever she’s chosen to Dive into a Book. Here, we see a whole new side of her. A sadistic gleam in her eye as she tore the Taints down one by one. The rest of the Authors are a bit freaked out by this but it doesn’t stop Dazai from clapping.

With her relationship with Dazai, I would say they had become friends on her end. She enjoys hanging out with him, she calls him “Osamu” and she lets him call her “Satoko”. I just want to point out, Yuko does not see Dazai as a father at all. She grew up without a father and she’s fine with that. She became the person who she was today and she wouldn’t change it for the world.

That being said, she still wants to have a relationship with him. Not her trying to get to know the man who brought her into this world but as a person. She wants to know who he is as a person rather than a father who abandoned his family for another woman. In a way, it helps her cope with her anger.

She still understands that she will always be a daughter to Dazai, though. She’s more than happy to let him feel like he has a daughter again.

And that’s it! That’s my version of Yuko. Do I think this could be canon? No. Do I think it could be a fun interpretation? Yes. I have no idea what the writers for the game would make Yuko like if she was ever implemented but I’m sure we can all agree her dynamic with Dazai is going to be interesting no matter what.

With that said, have a good day! 👋🏻

#bunal #bungou to alchemist #bungo to alchemist #OC #original character #yuko tsushima #satoko tsushima #my art #again #my interpretation #for an interesting dynamic idea #nothing is meant to insult the actual person #i felt like i need to make that clear

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angelicmichael · 4 years

Note

Since you are an angst queen I know you’d make magic out of anything on the list, but how about number 9 with Michael?

A/N: First of all that’s a huge compliment thank you 😭🥺 I hope you like this!! I’m sorry it’s so long for a blurb lol. if u want a song that describes this fic PERFECTLY then listen to flesh without blood by grimes!! Like, I didn’t even mean too but the song matches this fic so perfectly. Anyway enjoy ♥️ Reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated :)

Warnings: breaking up, MAJOR character(s) death - the death isn’t really described but it’s suggested at the end of the fic, Reader burns herself so I guess burning? Lol, it’s not really suicide but Reader knows about her death and accepts it so it could be considered as such? Idk.

You never thought it would come to this.

Even from the beginning you knew he was trouble. He was too beautiful; to perfect.. He had to be corrupt in some way. And he sure was.

However nothing could prepare you to handle the fact that he was the antichrist, satans son. At first you laughed it off and thought he was trying to be funny but it was clear to you it wasn’t a joke when he told you about the bombs.

As fucked up as it sounds, you were okay with it. As long as you were by his side, you would be okay. However; as the date of the nuclear attack grew closer and closer, you started to second thoughts. You had second thoughts about everything but mostly about dating Michael.

He was starting to draw away from you, which was understandable since he was getting so busy. However in the moments when he happened to be free and tried to reach out to you, you found yourself withdrawing from him as well.

Knowing what destruction he was capable of, and what he was planning on doing made you start to withdraw from him.

What the fuck were you even thinking with dating this guy in the first place? How could there ever be a happy ending with the antichrist?

Long story short you now were in a fucking predicament, to say the least.

The bombs went off tommorow. you knew that. Michael knew that, and so did the cooperative. That was everyone who knew and who was okay with the world fucking ending. You couldn’t fucking handle it anymore.

You were tired of feeling like the responsibility of the world was in your hands, and you were tired of tolerating Michaels shit.

You loved him, and him alone. As much as it hurt to admit it, the thing that turned you off so much about Michael was all the fucking baggage he carried. You wanted him, not the cooperative, not his fucking magic powers, not his fucked up family, and espically not his fucking urge to destroy everything he touched. You knew all of that wasn’t truly him, it wasn’t his spirit.

It was the satanists and Satan himself that made Michael so fucking sadistic. And you hated it. You started to hate him for letting this happen, for allowing himself to surrender to such darkness.

You and Michael were due to leave at the crack of dawn to go to the sanctuary, before the bombs hit but you had different ideas. You were leaving tonight. As soon as you finished writing him this damn letter.

It was nighttime and you were alone in you and Michaels shared home. Or.. really just Michaels home now. You knew you had to write this letter soon before he came back, you had already packed everything and you had a hotel set up - waiting for you. You already had all of your belongings in boxes and ready to go by the front door, but right now you were still fucking stumped.

You sat at Michaels desk that he used for work; with a peice of blank paper in front of you with a pen in your hand.

You twiddled the pen nervously; trying to think of what you even wanted to say to him.

You kept the light dim, just enough so that you could see what you wanted to write. Having the light on brightly seemed to just make you sweat and make you even more nervous for some odd reason.

You finally bit the bullet and decided to just fucking do it, you started writing.

‘Dearest Michael,

I hope this letter finds you well. I know you hate unpredictability but I had to do this, this way. I know that if I looked you in the eyes and told you that I had to leave you - that I wouldn’t be able to take it so.. I’m sorry Michael. I’m so fucking sorry. It’s not that I don’t love you, because I do. I love you so fucking much. Too much to see you live the rest of your life like this, controlled by the Cooperative and being manipulated like that. I mean, think about it Michael. REALLY think. Do you really want to live the rest of your life having to manage of all them? Having to be dictated by fucking Satan for ‘probably’ eternity? I don’t want a future like that Michael. I would rather be taken out tommorow quickly by the bombs than live the rest of my life in a fucking wasteland. Understand that I love you but not the situation. I packed everything and I’m leaving tonight; please don’t try to find me. I just want to spend the little remaining hours I have alone please. I know how excited you were for tommorow and I’m sorry that you’ll have to celebrate alone -“.

You stopped writing for a second. You really were a fucking idiot, weren’t you? How god damn naive have you been? Michaels been spending more time at the fucking cooperative than he had at home, of course he wasn’t alone. That made no sense.

You wouldn’t be surprised if he was fucking some random cooperative member; Michael was gorgeous - everyone wanted him. You shook your head, I mean there was no point to not call him out on it. You could basically say whatever you wanted now - you were going to die tommorow anyways. You focused back on the paper in front of you and continued writing.

‘but im sure you’ll just find some bitch to fuck and celebrate that way, won’t you?

Yours truly,

(Y/n)’.

You put the pen back where you had previously found it and took the letter in your hands. You reread your mini speech and you felt odd.

You didn’t feel quite sad, but you weren’t happy either. You supposed you were kind of relieved. Relieved to finally have told Michael what you always wanted too. Relieved you didn’t have to date some sadistic, cruel man forever.

You turned the corner in the house and opened the door that lead to the bedroom. You had made the bed and you put the letter in the middle right below the pillows, no way he could fucking miss it.

You let out a dry laugh - not because anything was funny but out of disbelief. You were actually doing it. You were really leaving Michael.

You turned on your heel and with a snap of your fingers the lights turned off. It was now time to get the fuck out of here.

——————————

It was a beautiful day. The sun shone brightly onto you as you basked in it. It was early morning, the next day and you sat in a metal chair outside of a cafe with a coffee in front of you.

Today was the day.

You didn’t know the exact time the bombs were due to go off but you knew it was sometime before noon, and it was nearing 8 am.

You expected to get hundred of phone calls last night or to even have Michael show up at your hotel but none of that happened.. And you would be lying if you said that didn’t disappoint you a little. You did miss him.

You took a sip of coffee, savoring the taste before swallowing it. You picked up the cup - getting ready to raise it to your lips when you heard the other metal chair that was across the table from you being pulled back. The sound of metal across the concrete was like nails on chalkboard - you jumped and a good portion of your hot coffee slid down your shirt.

You bolted out of the chair - trying to go to the bathroom so you could dry yourself off but instead you felt a firm hand grab your wrist.

“Wait”. The tone of the voice you heard was soft yet demanding; so you listened. Also the voice was way too fucking familiar, you knew it belonged to a male due to the deep tone of it. With a quick look, it confirmed your suspicions. It was fucking Michael.

You stood there shaking, your chest was on fucking fire - stinging. Tears brimmed your eyes as you tried to get your wrist back but Michael held onto it even tighter.

“Michael! I need to go-“ You quickly pleaded.

“No, you don’t”. Michael snarled. You looked into his eyes you noticed how he had tears in his eyes, too. You stood there for a moment, in pain and being insanely uncomfterable in the hot sun that seemed to amplify the pain of your new burn. It was almost as if he enjoyed your suffering, like some kind of subtle revenge for you leaving him last night.

After getting a couple of weird looks, Michael sheepishly let your wrist go and allowed you to move just enough so you could sit across from him at the table.

You sniffled and brushed the tears off of your cheeks with the back of your hand.

“I told you not to find me, Michael”. You said in a deeper tone than of which you normally spoke in. It was because of how emotional you were starting to become, did he really come back for you?

“(Y/n), what’s gotten into you? Do you think I chose you over the Cooperative or something”? Michael spoke, gently shaking his head as he did so.

You were on the edge of your seat (literally) as you quickly replied, speaking so fast you barely even comprehended or really thought about what you were saying.

“You did Michael! These past couple of weeks I’ve barely been able to see you. You won’t talk to me, we don’t communicate anymore”.

You said, screaming. Any care you had of anyone around you hearing you scream at Michael seemed to become nonexistent. Tears fully streamed down your face now - a mix of anger and sadness. Your fingers gripped the table, turning white. You didn’t even flinch when Michael slammed a peice of paper onto the table.

“Is this what you think of me? Is this how low you think of me now? I’ve been beyond busy making plans not just for me but for us, to wipe out the human race and create a clean slate where we can create any kind of world we wish. But.. Instead.. you think I’m out fucking other girls”? Michael spoke harshly, continuing to stare into your eyes.

You sniffled, and tried to pull yourself together before you spoke again and gave a weak smile. You knew your accusation of him cheating was hollow, there really was no proof of him doing so. It was just a product of you being stressed and paranoid. The smile you gave him wasn’t really whole hearted, admittedly but you were done screaming and fighting.

The most important thing was that you had him back, and that the bombs were still due to go off most likely.

“I’m so sorry I said that Michael. I was just emotional. I didn’t mean that, I promise.. but.. today’s.. the day-“

You spoke slowly, not wanting to admit what today’s big event actually was but Michael cut you off anyway.

“You really think I wouldn’t cancel today’s event, Angel? I managed to postpone it. The cooperative wasn’t happy but I needed to see you. This whole thing isn’t worth it if your not by my side”.

You furrowed your eyebrows together, did Michael not get the point of your letter? You didn’t leave just for him to continue on with his plans. The idea was sweet but you didn’t exactly understand his motive and that made you uncomfterable.

You shifted and opened your mouth to speak when your eardrums nearly shattered with the loud noise that seemed to suddenly fill the air. It was fucking sirens. What the fuck??

You didn’t know what to do. You felt adrenaline start to course through your veins and you could only scream,

“What the fuck Michael”?!

You don’t know what scared you more, the sirens or the look on Michaels face. He looked horrified. He leaped out of the metal chair so swiftly you barely even saw him get up, his mouth was open - like he wanted to say something.

You stood up too, nearly shouting at him so that he could hear you through the sirens.

“Michael? ...

Michael?! ..

MICHAEL”!

Finally he seemed to snap out of it and realize you were still there, in front of him. You could see he was breathing hard, he was starting to panic. He came up to you and quickly embraced you.. it was as if he could almost smell your fear.

“Look, there’s nothing to worry about. It was probably just a miscommunication error, I just need to call-“

Michaels voice stayed smooth and steady as he talked but you knew him. You knew by the look in his eyes, the way he was holding onto you (he rarely EVER got clingy) that he was scared as hell.

You also knew you two didn’t have a lot of time. You knew how the nuclear attack was designed that after the alarms went off there would only be a couple minutes before the actual bombs released. You cut him off and started talking.

“-No, Michael. We don’t have time”. You said, your voice cracking. Another tear slid down your cheek as you kissed Michael with more passion than you probably ever had in your history of dating men.

You felt as if your body was on fire with the knowledge of what your future held, as you heard screams and chaos from every angle around you two.

You couldn’t help but selfishly think that atleast you had Michael and that you wouldn’t be alone now.

Taglist: @mina672 @9layerdevilsfoodcake @michaellangdonstanaccount @guiltyfiend @jimmason @langdonsexual

#ask #asks #my works #my fic #I honestly really like how this turned out #its so funny to me how grimes music always inspires me to write haha #michael x reader #michael langdon x reader #ahs #i feel like my first angst request was light and then after that ive made them so heavy and full of death lmao

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audisamu · 3 years

Text

𝘎𝘖𝘋𝘡𝘐𝘓𝘓𝘈 𝘉𝘙𝘐𝘕𝘎𝘚 𝘜𝘚 𝘛𝘖𝘎𝘌𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙

character; iwaizumi hajime x reader

genre; fluff

wc; 1.7k

synopsis; when your local movie theatre announced that they would be running a one night only Godzilla movie marathon, you already knew you would be going with your boyfriend, Iwaizumi. What you didn’t account for was his date crashing friend who claimed he could ‘steal your man’.

You went into your relationship with the knowledge of the odd interest your boyfriend had. When you had met him, you thought the only things you’d have to fight for his attention would be volleyball and Oikawa. You were sadly mistaken though, there was one more boss to fight before you could finally claim the status of “Iwa-chan’s favourite.” Godzilla was always present within your life. It was like you could never escape it. It had to be the worst during Iwaizumi’s birthday and Christmas. Anyone who knew him would get him something Godzilla related, gag gift or not. Even you gave in to the trend and bought him his signature Godzilla phone case.

All in all, he was a man who was obsessed with the scaly monster. You could never understand the hype but hey, if it made him happy, what were you to say? You’d only start having complaints if he started cuddling his Godzilla body pillow instead of you.

When you saw the advertisement pop up on your Twitter line, you counted down the minutes until Iwaizumi started begging you frantically to go with him. In the end, it took him under ten minutes to be on his knees and ‘convincing’ you to go, aka bringing up the fact you’d get movie popcorn if you went.

To be frank, you didn’t have any reservations about going in the first place. You knew how much your boyfriend would love for you to go and seeing him happy was all the reason you needed. When you could finally get a breath in between his flustered rambling, you ruffled his hair and agreed to go.

On the day of the movie, you both woke up early. It was a Saturday morning, so neither of you had work and could sleep it fairly late. The movies would start just after five and would stretch until after midnight, so you knew it was better to dress with comfort in mind.

Everything seemed fine when you left. You were sitting in the passenger seat and he was driving. It was usually a ten-minute drive to the theatre, so you scrolled through your phone for most of it. You started getting suspicions when you noticed that you were not going in direction of the theatre. You cast a side glance at Iwaizumi, who held no reaction at all and just kept his eyes on the road. You shrugged and figured he had made some sort of the wrong turn or thought he could take a shortcut that didn’t exist.

Unfortunately, by the time you pieced together what was happening, it was too late. It seemed the thought that this would be a date slipped your boyfriend’s mind and he thought it smart to invite his oblivious, albeit sweet, friend Oikawa.

“Iwa-chan! I was worried you two had forgotten about me,” he walked to the car with a slight skip in his step. It reminded you of a little kid trying to waddle to their friends when they couldn’t yet stand on their own.

He slipped into the backseat of the car and leaned forward between Iwaizumi and yourself. He attempted to wrap his arms around both of your shoulders, but Iwaizumi gave him a stern look and he quickly went to sit down properly.

“Ah, finally the gang is back together. You shouldn’t keep your girlfriend from me, Iwa-chan!" You loved Oikawa’s company most days. He kept Iwaizumi on his toes and allowed you to see a different side of him. While Iwaizumi grounded Oikawa, the latter seemed to have the opposite effect. Oikawa could get Iwaizumi to loosen up more and relax. Sure, you could do so as well, but it wasn’t the same bond the two best friends had.

You loved Oikawa’s company when you weren’t trying to have a romantic date night with Iwaizumi. You weren’t mad or anything, you were just kinda bummed that you wouldn’t be able to sneak a kiss from your boyfriend during the movie without Oikawa pointing it out or making some sort of ‘deal’ out of it.

It took around fifteen minutes to get to the movie theatre and when you got there, Iwaizumi rushed out of the driver’s seat. You laughed under your breath and followed behind him towards the entrance. Both of you failed to notice the whining Oikawa behind you, telling you to wait up. Iwaizumi was too distracted with the thought of what movies they would play and in what order, while you were just taking up the rare sight of your boyfriend fanboying.

“Rude much. You were the one who invited me out, Iwa-chan! You should at least wait for me to get out of the car.” You thought of apologizing to Oikawa, but before you did, you noticed the mockingly playful smirk on his face. You sighed and turned back around to the building. Even after a year of dating, you still weren’t exactly accustomed to the humour the pair of best friends shared. On multiple occasions, before you got to know Iwaizumi and in turn Oikawa, you had genuinely misjudged their banter for fighting. It was only after you went to a meetup with some of their old team that you really ‘understood’ them.

The warmth that hit you when you entered the building was a breath of fresh air, and you unzipped your jacket and put on your mask as soon as you could. You looked behind you to see the pair still ‘bickering’ between themselves, Oikawa claiming that he looked better in a mask that Iwaizumi did. You smiled at them and waited for them to catch up with you so you could get in line for tickets and popcorn. While you were still a bit irked at Iwaizumi for leading you to think this would be some romantic night, you were quick to forgiveness after seeing the look of pure joy painted on his face.

“Three tickets for the Godzilla marathon, three medium popcorns, three medium drinks-” he paused, looking back to you and Oikawa to see what you wanted to drink. You asked for water and Oikawa told him to ‘surprise’ him- “Pepsi, seven up, and then water.” You watched Oikawa’s face contort in anger. You giggled silently along with Iwaizumi, who had a proud smirk dawning on his face. You knew the Pepsi was for him, he lived on the stuff even though he would yell at people he trained for drinking it, which meant the seven up was supposedly for Oikawa. The only problem with that was Oikawa despised seven up and any sort of sparkling water. Not that he didn’t like carbonated drinks, he just had some weird picky problem with the specific drink. Iwaizumi of course knew this and decided the few seconds of pride in his prank would outweigh Oikawa whining for the rest of the night.

“Sometimes I wonder if you’re a sadist, Iwa-chan,” he turned to you, “I’m so sorry for you, y/n. It’s hard, isn’t it?” You blush at what Oikawa implies in his words and turn away to pick up your food and drink. While you walk away towards the theatre, you can hear Oikawa yelp and know that Iwaizumi gave him a good hit in the head. You loved Oikawa, as a friend of course, but you wondered how Iwaizumi was able to handle him for all his life.

“They say that the movies will be going on until tomorrow. It shocks me how many movies were able to be made about one monster.” You make small talk on your way to your assigned theatre. You all find your seats easily as they’re all socially distanced and not many spaces are taken up. You settle down with Iwaizumi in the middle and you on his left, leaving Oikawa to his right.

“If it gets scary you’ll hold me right, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa coos and sends you a wink over your boyfriend’s back. Now here was what you were expecting. You knew that Oikawa and Iwaizumi were only friends, and you that if he had to choose between Oikawa and yourself romantically, he’d pick you, but Oikawa still seemed to enjoy ‘making you jealous’ which had never worked in the slightest.

“Sure, sure. Whatever you want.” He wasn't paying attention when he responded, but that didn’t seem to deter Oikawa, who smirked at you and winked playfully. You raised your eyebrows and went to respond, but as you did, the lights faded into darkness and the previews started playing.

Throughout the first movie, everything was as normal. If there was an especially gory or ‘scary’ scene in the movie you’d hold on to Iwaizumi and Oikawa would do the same, earning a glare from him. As the second and third movie came around, you became impatient and went for another drink run for yourself and the boys. Oikawa begged you to get him a ‘drink that won’t poison me’ and you obliged.

When you got back, you found Iwaizumi leaned forward in his seat and Oikawa leaning slightly onto his shoulder. You sighed and scooted past them as silently as you could. You rolled your eyes at your boyfriend who was now ignoring you for Godzilla and Oikawa of all people.

When you finally reached the seventh movie of the night, and the last movie, it was a sight to behold. The two of them were leaning into each other on the edge of their seats, and it looked more like they were on a date than you. When the final credits rolled and the lights came back on you waited for the two to say something. It stayed quiet for a moment and you went ahead and clean up the trash. A few seconds after, you heard a high-pitched scream from Oikawa and a grunt from your boyfriend.

You turn to see Oikawa halfway into the next row and Iwaizumi wide-eyed and looking back at you. “Why did you let me cuddle with that asshole?” he talked as if you had betrayed him in the front lines of battle and you couldn’t help let out the monstrous laugh you had been holding since the fifth movie, Shin Godzilla.

“You know, if I knew this was going to be a date between you and Oikawa, I would have just stayed home," you tease. Iwaizumi brushes you off and turns with his garbage in hand (not including his best friend), and leaves a mentally wounded Oikawa and you still trying to contain your laughter.

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scattered-irises · 4 years

Text

LONG AWAITED CONCLUSION TO THAT ZEXAL PHILOSOPHICAL CHAT I POSTED A YEAR (or two) AGO

Part i

Basically, the theory is: Tron is a figment of the Arclights’ imagination and it’s actually just Byron going around messing everything up. Tron is a symbol of the corruption of the Arclights.

****

And so, I pose you this question, Phosphorous. What if Tron never existed and was just a metaphorical representation for Byron's hatred and anger? What if the Barian World hadn't done anything to him and instead, just made him an angrier old man? So instead of this creepy, laughing child, we have this creepy man who goes around ruining people's lives for the sake of his revenge.

The child is just something the Arclight brothers made up because they couldn't stand the fact that their father had become like that. But that was why they still followed him. Because he was still their father.

I see your point there. It has plausibility, muses Phosphorous.

The reason why Tron erased their old names was because it was a way for all of them to disassociate their current selves with their past selves. They have changed too much to be considered Byron, Christopher, Thomas and Michael anymore. Christopher has turned extremely cold and calculating compared to his happier, gentle brother attitude when he was younger.

And Thomas...the poor child. He used to be a happy boy that teased his younger sibling but as IV, he masks himself as a happy celebrity loved by all in the world and underneath that mask is a sadistic monster and underneath that mask is a son that just desperately wants his father back and will do anything to get it and underneath that mask is a lonely young man who wishes to be understood.

Arguably, Michael is the one who remains closest to his original self. He's still the beloved younger brother and like when they were younger, still has a close relationship with Thomas. But he's cracked beneath his placid smile and gentle nature. When angered, he lashes out terribly and like Thomas, will do anything, even murder, to achieve his family's goals.

And so, one could argue that Tron is basically just an overall representation that their family has changed for the worse.

“How much autonomy do the brothers have? and how do they relate to others as they attempt to fulfill their families goals?” poses Phosphorous.

Ah, ah. An insightful query, my friend. They are pretty much never seen doing things of their own free will. Even when it seems like they are enjoying themselves (I.E III sneaking into Yuma's house to eat lunch and meet him. It actually was just a scouting mission on his family's next target), their actions are meant to serve ulterior motives. In the end, all of the things they do is in the name of serving the family.

A somewhat random note, Christopher looks at Thomas with contempt. They're basically polar opposites (But not really. Once Christopher gets emotional, he's just as broken and destructive as Thomas).

Thomas has a grudging respect for Christopher because a part of him still recognizes him as his older brother.

Christopher seems to care a bit more for Michael, but when Michael was being tortured, he watched the scene at the insistence of Tron. At the end of it though, he turns away, hinting at a bit of a conscience.

It's Thomas and Michael that are more of a sibling relationship. This is most likely because they have spent all of their lives together while Christopher had been absent for 5 years from their lives. He was gone when Thomas was 12 all the way to when he turned 17 and Michael was 10 and is now 15

Thomas genuinely cares for Michael, going as far as to shout at Tron for treating his brother like that. Christopher immediately silences him.

Michael also returns that gesture, although less because he ended up falling into a coma before we could see more.

“Yet all three are, at least at times, willing participants in Tron's schemes?”

Yes, my fellow thinker. Christopher is the most loyal one. He never questions Tron’s orders. Michael will go with his father in hopes that he will get his family back. He is Tron's favorite because he is a "gentle and obedient child." I find it quite sad how, although Christopher is the most loyal one to the cause, he isn’t the favorite. I suppose it is also because I am the eldest of three, yet am not as favored as the youngest.

“The youngest seems to be favored most of the time,” muses Phosphorous as they look out at the tumultuous Barian sea.

It's Thomas that sometimes goes out of line. He's the strongest of the brothers, but Tron is always saying that he is the weakest. It is most likely the fear of Thomas realizing that he's actually powerful and could turn on Tron. Hence, that is why Tron says he trusts no one.

Phosphorous stands, overlooking the gloomy landscape of crystals.

“So each and every one is then beholden to this idea of what? A happy family? Or just something different than their current state of affairs? Do all the brothers truly share this idea of a return to a happy family? Or do they don't even know that that looks like and just want something to change?”

In short:

Tron: Kill my murderers and I'll become your happy ol' dad again and we can go back to England and do happy British people stuff

Sons: Uh sure okay

Personally, I think they all know to an extent that they're deluding themselves

They're just ambling down this path of lies because the brothers are desperate to have a place to belong to after being separated for so long

But you might have a point that they might not even know what a truly happy family is anymore.

“So it's like they're chasing something that doesn't exist then?”

Exactly. Much like the couple that was running to the end of the rainbow. They are chasing a boat that has already long passed by. After all of the things Tron did to them, I'm sure they all know that they will never be "normal" and "happy" again.

“So under your theory, Tron doesn't truly exist, or at least is highly metaphorical, which makes all of their struggles self-inflicted and their delusions even more deep.”

Quite perceptive of you. Tron does exist, but he's basically Byron but meaner. They merely use the child with the ruined face to cover up the fact that their father has turned into a monster.

"Hey so dad's gone nuts but let's pretend it's a weird little boy who's nuts so it takes a bit of the pain away."

“Ah, so then they could say "Tron" instead of ‘Father.’”

Yes, exactly. They almost never address Tron as father. They only talk of their father in the past tense.

“But then,” proposes Phosphorous, dramatically turning back to me. “Why would they care so much for the new names they received? Or do they not care for them?”

Those names have become a part of their identities. They use it to cope with the fact that they've all gone south personality-wise. Thomas even uses IV as his celebrity name, perhaps as a sign that he does not recognize his celebrity persona as his true self.

Phosphorous takes in a deep breath, the acidic breeze rustling their toga. Their eyes meet mine own with a sharpness that I had always so admired.

“So these new names, they're basically masks, but do they disassociate themselves from their new identities the same way they do with Tron and their Father, or do they still think of themselves as fundamentally themselves, just forced to do things they wouldn't normally do? Though I would assume each brother is affected differently by their mask,” says my friend as they begin to pace.

Ah, they still view Tron as their father (A leader) but deep down they probably don't want to put two and two together. So it's a superficial belief of "We fight for Tron (our father but let’s not think about that.)"

Either that or,

They are fighting for their Father,

who is basically just an idea of a happy family now whilst Tron

represents a bad family.

Onto your second point, the brothers fit into their masks to different extents.

Michael doesn't seem to mind III for they appear to have the same personality, save for III's destructive tendencies.

When Christopher is reunited with his student that he abandoned and is called Christopher, he sadly smiles and says.

"It's been a long time since someone has called me that"

And Thomas probably has an extremely difficult time taking off his mask after wearing it for so long in front of so many people

“So then do their numbered names also represent a bad family? also why do they start at three, like why not 1,2,3 instead of 3,4,5?”

I still don’t understand why it’s 3 4 5 (Nor does anyone else, for that matter.), however, their numbers are probably how Tron sees them. From his scientific background, he probably just sees his son as pieces of useful data he can use to his advantage.

“Hm, the only thing I could think of for the numbers was that Tron was somehow including him and the boys' mother in his count, like their the first two so that's why it starts at three, which is something you probably already thought about,” theorizes Phosphorous futilely.

Perhaps the numbers are used as place holders. They are not Christopher, Thomas and Michael. They are merely placeholders for when Christopher, Thomas and Michael return. When their family is whole again...

“But if the numbers are place-holders then so is the name ‘Tron,’” concludes Phosphorous.

Indeed.

“But I wonder if the brothers associate the numbers with Tron, like the numbers aren't really them, just a means to an end that will be removed when they get their father back, or if they're deluding themselves,” muses my friend.

Yes, the numbers are most likely temporary to them. Christopher is deluding himself.

He knows that he’s Christopher under V’s cold exterior. Same for Thomas and Michael. They are a family of delusions, united under the promise of a better tomorrow that will never arrive.

And so I thank you, for bearing with me.

Without ceremony, Phosphorus walks away from the crystal cliff, leaving me. I stare into the depths of the sea of ill intent and allow the sounds of the waves crashing against the crystal to overtake me. Closing my eyes, I begin to meditate.

Thus we conclude our bout of philosophy and ardent beard stroking.

#zexal #analysis #zexal analysis #long post #Christopher Arclight #Michael Arclight #Thomas Arclight #Byron Arclight #Tron Zexal #Iris thinks hard

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theskyexists · 4 years

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she-ra 4

the reason i stopped watching she-ra is the same reason i stopped watching the dragon prince.

the narrative doesn’t take the situation seriously. instead of leaning into the anguish of war and violence (atla, teen titans) - they make light of it. EVEN when the characters’ guardians are KILLED!!

when Angella died and they spent 2 seconds on Glimmer’s grief at the end of season 3 i was like......actually fuck this. HOW can i take any of these stakes seriously when they insist on brushing them off???

anyway just had to complain about that - especially because the start of the first ep of 4 is them joking AGAIN about something as grim as Glimmer now carrying all the responsibilities of her mother - who may i remind you IS DEAD

but catradora became canon apparently so now i have to struggle through

her aunt, her mother’s sister, is fuckin, joking about cakes, her friends are laughing at the joke. COME ON! how goddamn unrealistic and insensitive. EVEN if they wanna make a point of it - it’s silly! because the narrative PARTICIPATES in making light of the situation. if it was just the characters it would be less jarring

‘we’ll make sure this day is perfect’ WHAT? how could it EVER BE IF HER MOTHER IS FUCKING DEAD????????? AND THAT”S THE ONLY REASON SHE’S QUEEN????? ‘must be hard’ YEAH IT’S HARD - IN FACT IMPOSSIBLE. instead of pretending to be happy maybe you can show some genuine sensitivity. these people are so crazily emotionally underdeveloped my god. what age are they supposed to be? 16? 17? The problem that She-ra has (just like the dragon prince) is that there are no relevant adults. Oh sure there’s a Queen, and some Soldiers, and a Sorceress. But there isn’t a single relevant competent adult around who is concerned with running a bureaucracy or the emotional stability of children

I do like how Catra has overcome her fear of Hordak. but i think i remember being fuckin furious at her for almost destroying the whole world and hurting Scorpia and betraying Entrapta just to spite Adora. vaguely.

the rebellions problem is that they’re all extremely stupid himbos. like literally, in the whole story, only catra and shadowweaver have any smarts, while glimmer gains the ability to think during full moons on wednesdays. meanwhile everybodys is a slave to their emotions - which destroys any brain cells that shadowweaver or catra (or angella or anyone) might have managed. they could literally have killed hordak the entire time but just let him order them around because they’re so hot for acknowledgement

I’m glad Glimmer reflects my frustrations now hahahahaah

‘everyone is already acting like she doesn’t matter’ - yeah dudes, you fucking insensitive bastards

‘im supposed to take care of you glimmer’ - but unfortunately i have the emotional intelligence of a crab! FUCK!

this is another thing about this show that makes me groan. sappy quick resolutions of emotional turmoil through re-affirming the fuckin power of friendship in the first episode of the season.

also couldn’t Adora have done this she-ra stuff from the very beginning

that was badass.....miss glimmer’s other hair though. ok the emotions at that hologram and statue though...

the coolest part of she-ra for me is finding out more how the ancient systems all fit into Etheria and the She-Ras and Hordak Prime etc.

THIS IS A GOOD SPEECH. love this badass.

love Hordak getting put in his place. Love Catra realising she has power - love Hordak reaping what he sows. its unfortunate that she’s a shitty brat who JUST can’t get over her inferiority complex

if i could endlessly teleport i would do what glimmer does

also, glimmer was willing to fuckin murder catra before and she DEFINITELY will be now lol. love that for her.

why did they only introduce adora learning to transform her sword NOW ahahaha, theyve had SO MANY SCENES in which she doesnt have it and then suddenly does - and then its gone again

scorpia is the funniest and most likeable person in the whole show

they really suddenly can’t take five people on with she ra and fuckin huntara on their side??

i remember that little sadistic righteous twist in my stomach when Adora finally was like: FUCK!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! Catra!!!!!!! and the stupid idiot got it

FINALLY A GLANCE AT THE PEOPLE OF ETHERIA AGAIN! i love the party sequences in this!!! the people of etheria are so beautiful! nobody ever comments on the main characters all looking plain human in contrast....

‘and i fell for it!’ yeah cos you DUMB AS BRICKS ADORA

so first they quietly take out the guards....and then literally break open the door hahaahahahahaaha

‘we forgot the bots regenerate’ - yeah cos you DUMB AS BRICKS ADORA

i just dont understand why they insist on making the main characters so DUMB ahahahahaah

Adora and Catra are great at hitting where it hurts. the difference between them is that Catra KNOWS that she’s hurting Adora - she does it deliberately.

wow that could be some pretty angsty stuff constantly leaving her to struggle on the floor while painfully electrocuted. Catra has also moved to kill Adora straight up so many times. im sure she really wants to (but it would destroy her later). But now, Adora swept something at Catra that might have actually killed her. I get Catra though, I would’t want to get beaten by some blonde, blue-eyed, glowing golden kid who always gets to win and do better. this is truly the first time Adora has moved to kill Catra......

does flatterina not have parents who’d be like: uhhhhh maybe leave the soldiering for a couple more years?

catra truly burning all her bridges. hahaha. it’s so satisfying to see her use her anger and power to truly destroy herself - because of guilt!

no other villagers were like - HMMMMMMM this random new kid is here? weird..... i didnt see that coming either.

Adora doesn’t think about what Catra might have even been doing there - cos she’s DUMB AS BRICKS

the interesting thing about this show is that they’re setting up a dichotomy. they’re treating war like a high-stakes game because they have the good side adhere to an aesthetic of ....magic. they will not make the two sides equivalent in any way - which makes questions of morality moot. the show is purely an emotional drama. the horde is an army of brainwashed kids in an industrial wasteland - they fight with tech and guns. but the good guys cannot fight with an army or tech, they fight with cleverness and magic. they’re called the ‘rebellion’ - they HAVE to be underdogs because they have to follow the script of good - even though what’s really going on is war, not a rebellion. That’s why they have a single strike team that do ‘missions’. They are presented as FUNDAMENTALLY different - on the level of identity which they cannot change lest they destroy themselves - and in that way the good guys can never become the bad guys. it is ALMOST meta. think they’re gonna do something with that at one point. i hope

also Netossa has such a super cool design.

‘everyone knows you’re needed in bright moon’ - uh. really? i dont know. some random person i’ve never seen before demands you go to meetings. so? is that important? why?

spinerella can literally FLY???????? why has she been in the background this whole time??? hahahaha military inefficiency.

there was an explosion that ripped trees apart - but bo’s alive!! honesty why didn’t they try explosive suicide bots before. they’re very lucky he was still alive to heal

‘could they be tracking she-ra?’ WHAT? isn’t the obvious suggestion - A SPY???? they just assume that the general is right hahahahaa.

i love how double trouble is so meta.

actually, why wasn’t glimmer trained as a sorcerer anyway?

glimmer is upset about her growing magic plants but not her having magic ingredients

why do they present good strategic thinking (for once) as evil influence from shadowweaver

what a fuckin badass. honestly - glad that this show finally utilised glimmer’s extremely op powers like they should be. honestly, she’s much more powerful than She-Ra.

that bit with spinerella was so contrived jfc.

‘by using me as a decoy’ adora says, pissed off. uhhhh YOU went off on your own to get smushed by fuckin bots adora. Glimmer didn’t do that to you. she just used your stupidity.

glimmer really left catra to die. hahahahaa

i like adora best when she’s on her own and being a dork

they definitely managed to foreshadow that Light Hope was evil but im glad they picked up the thread now

am i seeing this wrong or did scorpia have two mums??? but also. where the fuck are they

lolololololol because everybodys dumb as bricks and emotionally volatile they’re incredibly easy to manipulate

‘i cant risk hitting flatterina’ pffft - ALL YOUR ARROWS ARE NON-LETHAL BO. ugh i cant deal with these contrived stakes

I LOVE THIS BADASS EFFICIENT HARDCORE GLIMMER

they’re really gonna spin it like this is a bad development? fuck off. finally some grit.

‘you took things way too far’ - but she got results! dumb as bricks adora

(this may seem harsh but adora is DUMB shes so fucking DUMB!!!! and she has many good qualities (such as an almost innate sense of morality) but goddamn. i guess its good to sometimes have a show about all around dumb characters. i mean, it’s not unrealistic per se, it’s just.....weird.)

the interesting thing about these characters is that you can SEE every single one of them struggling with cognitive dissonance. thats the big story of this show. they see the world a certain way - and then when something challenges that, they fight to the death to destroy or deny or ignore that new information - to everybody’s detriment. and they can’t back down because every step they’ve taken - would turn to sins they can’t live with. it’s interesting and its also a kind of conflict that‘s frustrating if not resolved at SOME point. thats why i love this season for its characters going off the rails. adora aiming to kill catra, catra destroying her last relationships, glimmer growing more and more militant.

they’re all acting like teens - that is - highly volatile - unable to keep from provoking others or be provoked - but they ARE teens.

‘catra doesn’t care. she’ll hurt people to get her way (implied: EVEN people on her side)’ - we must remember that Scorpia was entirely fine with KILLING the trio (it was Catra that wasn’t at the time).

‘you’re a bad friend’ OH OUCH. Catra - who’s always been treated as a whipping girl by those in power - does the same to those she is in power over. But on some level she doesn’t WANT to be that. she’s just always always been rejected and take advantage of and lashed out at and abandoned by the people she considered important (shadowweaver ---- doing the same to catra that was done to her is so goddamn....it’s the story of this show. the simplicity and banality of damaging and hurting others and that carrying over to harm even more people - is the story of this show and it’s immeasurably frustrating and REALISTIC)

she still flinches at Hordak’s lashing out. but she imprints on him the exact lesson she’s trying to school herself in. If you don’t need anybody - you don’t want anyone - if nobody matters but the mission and winning - then you can’t be hurt. she wants to prove her worth - but she doesn’t realise that inherently means that she’s putting somebody in power over her - again and again and again.

mermista coming in clutch with the braincells: there’s a spy! I love how this is played as completely implausible and just Mermista nonsense (who i love learning about) - while it’s so obviously true/

i actually love Adora when she’s being serious and heroic, or a huge dork. and she has the wit to RECOGNISE good ideas. but i just don’t understand why Adora is being big b about being used as a distraction. like....why?

i love that the underside of Mermista’s sneaker has a figure. but why the fuck is a common soldier with them (flatterina) and do they really think they can interrogate the whole castle filled with some shitty guards and...what - the guerilla troops they sometimes employ? where do they even live? ah in a tent city. ok

why is the GENERAL in front line combat WITHOUT SOLDIERS???? oh wait. glimmer did that too when she was general. lolololol

i understand why Adora doesn’t trust Shadowweaver and doesn’t want her around most of all - and Glimmer getting buddy buddy with her is hurtful. but...it’s not helpful to needle glimmer about it. but dismissing the guards around shadowweaver however? stupid of Glimmer. unnecessary. ‘what has she done but help us?’ - uhhhh she kidnapped you, corrupted your powers, almost wiped Adora’s mind. I wish Adora had summed up those things instead of leaving them implied.

so perfuma and mermista come across inconsistencies in the stories - but then. forget about it? i just...... UGGHGHGHGHGHGHGH. people really aren’t this dumb are they? they’re just NOT.

‘no more secrets and doing things without us’ - that was a good speech. but like, glimmer is right - she’s surrounded by INCOMPETENT IDIOTS lolololol. but good leadership is corralling idiots, Glimmer. not going off on your own. but she’s already planted the bait about the dining room.

‘we were the only ones who knew about the plan to take back dril’ ---- THEN WHY DID YOU INTERROGATE OTHER PEOPLE AHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHA

‘stop questioning my choices, stop whining about being a decoy’ YEAH FUCKIN HELL ADORA STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING SHIT. IS THIS REALLY ‘TAKING CARE OF GLIMMER’????

‘all you do is question my authority, it’s exhausting.’ yeah god...it really is. adora needs to fucking BACK! OFF! but im loving these fights because it brings out the grievances. Adora is right to be worried about Glimmer no longer including her in her decisions. and she makes a good point that that’s bad. She makes a good point that Shadowweaver cannot be trusted. And Glimmer makes zero good points - except that it’s been hard for her and has garnered 0.1% understanding from the people around her. Oh they were working together. BUT those were definitely real grievances.

GLIMMER CAN ALREADY DO A CONTAINMENT SPELL LIKE THAT??? godDAMN. castapella completely flunked her responsibilities to Glimmer but shadowweaver did NOT.

hmmm so Solinius was....destroyed. but like, did the people die? like....the people? that’s the important bit isn’t it? i mean, they were under the sea right?

i suppose the problem i also have is that this show will NOT hurry up. normally i love filler stuff but ...the characters are too.....cheery. too flat. their quirks are fun and funny until they’re literally character flaws.

are the horde just literally attacking civilians? jezus. the war crimes. how did shadowweaver ever expect to trick Adora when she was released into the field?

‘you can’t just keep going off on your own!’ - SHE LITERALLY SAVED THE WHOLE FUCKING TOWN. SHE’S THE QUEEN! EVERYBODY SHOULD LISTEN TO HER! lolololol

the problem with Adora’s points is that everything about their dynamics are always so nebulous. why cant glimmer keep showing up to help out? WHY??? she’s the most capable fucking soldier in the field! she’s supposed to have full fucking authority! like, Adora isn’t in the right here. the problem is that her needling is only a symptom of her worries - which is that Glimmer doesn’t trust her any more. but the needling does NOTHING but make her seem like an idiot

i do love this trope reversal here - Seahawk deliberately damselling them to let the princesses save the boys? pffft

love catra getting the consequences for her actions regarding Scorpia. You can’t keep lashing out at people and expect them to stay my dear cat.....

oooohhh Glimmer.... you’re treading close to very hurtful territory. Blaming Adora for the Rebellion failing? for things she couldn’t do anything about? stupid.

really?? you’re really gonna fucking fight-resolution BLOCK ME? are you FUCKING kidding me? edging me for the whole GODDAMN SEASON??? and finally Adora cries at Glimmer going over the line???? fuckin I HATE the narrative decisions in this stupid show I FUCKING HATE THEM FUCK THESE WRITERS GOD FUKCING DAMMIT!!! this has been the whole GODDAMN SHOW!!!!!! ARGHGHGHGHGHGH

i’ve been waiting for a fucking resolution for Adora and Catra the whole! goddamn! SHOW! NOTHING! else matters! you do the exact same for glimmer and adora and now you let it fester again??? because of some no-stakes BULLSHIT? just give me the fucking godddamn PAYOFF for watching these kids be IDIOTS.

this fight on the boat is COOL and really wonderfully animated

really? Glimmer’s response to Adora being hurt and not wanting to be TOUCHED is to be angry herself? what a fucking IDIOT. god i can’t stand this. I CAN’T STAND IT

is this how people act? do they never take a moment to breathe and think and reflect and realise their priorities and take a step back and fucking apologise?

jezus FUCKING! CHRIST!

‘no matter what glimmer thinks of me’ oh that HURTED. oh damn. that’s so relatable. it’s a way to run, it’s a way to internalise the hurt and then prove the things that hurt wrong. the one that hurt you

I know Bo is supposed to be the emotionally intelligent one but he’s also too soft. He should go up to his friends individually and ask them the sharp questions. not - ‘communicate more positively’.

I just like Adora so much better when she’s alone. Her friendships’ positive moments are always so sappy or so....like over-exaggerated, the negative moments always so fucking annoying. Alone, Adora is generally driven, tragic, and cool. the problem is perhaps that i don’t care for the constant fucking drama

god i LOVE Mara so much - she’s so beautiful. and i LOVE learning more about the Old Ones. So they were trying to study Ehteria’s magic.... but then Bright Moon and the princesses were already here. The Magic-Like systems of the Old Ones are pure tech.

wow! even Mara’s transformation is way cooler.

so why was the first one’s tech (she ra) responsive to the magic? why does Raz know about She-Ra? when she ra is first ones tech????

WAIT ONE SECOND. She-Ra is ‘magic’ ??? it’s the SWORD that’s the first one’s tech! She-Ra is Etheria’s magic ! but how if the First Ones chose Mara. Did they steal She-Ra from Etheria?

so what im getting is that. the Old Ones colonised Etheria. Etheria has magic, and when Mara was chosen they made that girl an elite soldier - giving her a first one’s tech sword so she could ‘control’ Etheria’s magic. Then Mara was told to study the magic of Etheria - the ship implying that she’d not been on the planet before. then they created a Heart of Etheria project - which will probably turn the magic into a weapon. this was going to be used against Hordak Prime, im sure. I mean, Mara saved Etheria, but she did doom the rest of the universe to...extinction.... like, judging from Hordak’s strategy, Hordak Prime just literally exterminates planets and repopulates them with his clones....

But why would the planet choose a girl from amongst the colonisers - twice?

OOOHHH that anguished scream. i love anguished screams

why dont they put fucking safety belts in these ships. it’s not like the ship didn’t survive. only Mara got splatted (i guess)

also i love Mara. but damn Adora just got some more shit on her plate. why the fuck was she pushed through a portal again? for a She-Ra chain reaction?

I love madame Raz.

So they didn’t explicitly use it against Hordak Prime. and it wouldn’t have destroyed Etheria back then but it will now...

guh this showmakes it so hard to enjoy catra’s pain.

well they did finally have a good talk about it. I have to say, Glimmer is making good strategic sense - it’s just that this show only rewards harebrained schemes

Catra having a crazy panic attack cos she can’t find Scorpia and she’s completely lost and she knows its her fault. kinda love that for her. my heart

my dear Glimmer, theres a difference between absence of trust and absence of agreement.

they’re bringing king micah back just when angella is dead? oh fuckin lol

the horde....exiled micah? they exiled Micah instead of killing him???

why do they ALWAYS interrupt important conversations? i hate that shit. it’s cheap. it’s unsatisfying.

now THIS is what im here for - that unstoppable WILL!! john gonzalez is right - we watch stories for characters overcomign obstacles. writing, is creating the obstacle course. .....what does that say about me and my life....hmmm.

‘light hope told me everything i need to know’ - uhhh no she didn’t. she didn’t tell you how to harness the energy at all. ugh

how the fuck did double trouble escape. seems to me that they didn’t actually. they were let go....

it’s always so stupid when people try to tell other people: oh no you’ve got no plan - this is too risky! when that’s NEVER a problem

Glimmer is going to activate the weapon just in time for Hordak Prime to use it. And naturally she misses the return of her dad. fuck this

they’re gonna have Hordak and Catra fight? hmm

Double Trouble is right - this IS good for her - and it IS Catra - except for Shadowweaver’s case - she was an abusive bitch

I love Scorpia’s new cool fight music and also glowy eyes

is glimmer going to throw herself into lava??

the unfortunate thing is that Hordak Prime is right on the doorstep and he took over the whole universe or whatever. so they could probably have used that weapon. i mean the Old Ones must have seen something coming. there must be a reason they’re all GONE maybe????

why did Adora assume that all those stars would be destroyed?

THE ANIMATION ON THAT FINAL STUFF WAS INCREDIBLE AND EPIC

how the fukc are they going to beat Horde Prime lolololol.

i guess Glimmer really shouldn’t have done that. but at least she was in time to bond with Catra.

#my stuff #vidi #she ra

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qwertythepopstarian08 · 5 years

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JSAB AU Fanfic- Bug Spray

Okay, so after the events on @small--crcle I can’t think of Rayne’s AU at all without crying, so I wrote this gift fanfic to cope.

It’s literally the most angsty thing I’ve written since “That’s Not Your Brother,” so bear with me here... and bring a tissue box. Yes, I know it’s April 1st, and I should post some happy, lighthearted fic... but nope.

This was partly inspired by some asks that I sent to Rayne’s main blog, @plaquebeat ((as well as her priceless reactions))

Description: Here’s a nightmarish concept- What if every infected shape's magic changed a bit? Just a tiny bit, but enough for Blixer to notice. Like... being too close to Kubix or Penta for too long would make him feel like there are spiders crawling up his arms... Or being near NGB would make him feel like he's being watched... too many eyes... all around... He'd know deep down that it's not real...but he can't shake the feeling that his friends have changed.... and he's the odd one out…

Warnings: Given the source material, this fanfic has body horror, slight gore, references to PTSD, violence, and blood. Please, please, please don’t read at night. The only thing this story doesn’t have is harsh language. Please don’t read if any of these are triggers for you.

Speaking of language, since I personally do not use profanity in any of my works, I’d like to say here and now that the term, “Yxxit,” is an exclamation from a fictional language that I’m developing. It’s kinda rude, so you’ll see the context soon.

Blixer’s eye snapped open, and he sat up, breathing heavily. His heart was hammering in his chest, his core feeling like it was about to explode. He stared blankly forward, his nightmare repeating itself in his mind a billion times, that horrid, twisted song echoing in his head like a mocking, broken record.

Too many eyes… too many legs… skittering bugs everywhere. His friends and family, infected… leaving him as the only pure shape left… A choked whimper left him, and he drew his knees to his chest, hugging himself. It hurt to remember… it hurt to dream.

It took a moment for the reality to set in, and he felt tears running down his face, his entire form shaking. He could still feel phantom pains from that day, that horrible event that had forever changed his friends, had twisted his world. He nearly snapped his neck to turn around as he heard shuffling. His arm thrust forth, his hand changing to a cannon as he shakily aimed for the shape in the bed next to his, his eye shining in the low light.

A sick, paranoid part of him wanted to fire, to turn whatever monster he’d see to shards before it could react… but he soon remembered who he was looking at, and he winced. He whimpered, before he fully awoke, shaking his head and lowering his arm. His cannon changed back to a proper hand, and he shook slightly, sighing.

It was just New Game… it was just his brother… his former alter ego… not a monster. Not anymore. Hopefully… never again.

He sighed, drawing the covers closer as he slid out of bed and walked over the the other side of the room. Each step sent agonizing pain through his legs, and he winced, forcing himself to breathe. He hesitantly reached for the other shape, lightly shaking him.

“New… you awake?”

New Game was practically burrowed in the blankets; he’d been doing that a lot lately, and Blixer feared that he’d suffocate. But he was fine… at least in that respect. He was alive, at least.

The other shape failed to awaken, and Blixer tried again, raising his voice barely above a whisper. “New… New Game…. Wake up.”

Finally, NGB turned around. He let out a small groan, rubbing his eyes as he tried to mutter something, if only to get Blixer to leave him alone.

“Wha...wha’dya wann?” His words were slurred, and as he sat up slowly, Blixer winced, seeing the stitching around his face pull slightly against his flesh… from where it had been torn open. NGB blinked slowly, humming, “It’s… it’s like three in the mornin’... Blix… please don’t tell me you’re hungry…”

Blixer shook his head, whimpering. “I had a nightmare…” He looked away, sighing. “That nightmare…”

New Game’s demeanor did a one-eighty. He seemed to wake up fully, his eyes widening as he sat up, sitting on the edge of the bed. Blixer hadn’t been able to shake his fears from the latest incident. Things had calmed significantly since then, but it seemed like something was… off… for one thing, he was always having nightmares now…

New’s horns folded downwards, and he shakily smiled, trying to seem reassuring.

“You wanna talk about it?”

Blixer’s tone was curt. “No… just go back to bed… I wanted to make sure it was still you.”

New felt a twinge of guilt race through his heart, his eyes flickering. He glanced at the ground, ashamed, before he sighed. Even he was still affected by the… event. He had to admit, he sometimes caught odd glances at himself in the mirror… lingering just to make sure he hadn’t suddenly sprouted extra eyes or legs…

He was barely used to having his own body… being alone in his head was much more terrifying when his form was so unstable. Deep down, he was afraid that he’d wake up one day and be back in that nightmarish form. However, he knew for sure… no shape had been impacted as badly as Blixer.

“Blix? You know it’s not real, right…?” His voice held an anxious tone as he reached for his counterpart. “Everything’s fine now…”

“That’s what you always say!”

New drew back, flinching at the sudden outburst. His horns flicked downward, and he shuddered a bit, the heart rate in his eye quickening. He looked around, trying to avoid Blixer’s gaze.

“But… you know that’ll never happen again…” he chuckled nervously, playfully punching Blixer on the shoulder. A twinge of guilt stung his heart as the other shape cringed, stepping back. “That weird bug stuff… it’s over… I ain’t turnin’ into a… what was it? Millipede?” He fumbled for the words. “Yeah… I’m not turning into a millipede again any time soon.”

He tried not to think about that day… his stitched scars tugged against his skin when he smiled, however, and he winced, trying to remain calm.

Blixer hugged himself. “But… you said it was fine when Kubix turned red… you said it was fine when Droplet blighting tried to kill us.” New winced at Blixer’s callous language. “Yxxit… you always say it’s fine… and then it’s not!”

The monocular shape breathed heavily, his hands clenched into fists. New Game whispered, “But…”

“No… just face it! No matter what we do, everything just goes wrong again the moment we let our guard down!” Blixer suddenly stepped closer, hissing in an uncharacteristic act of rage. “We’re a pretty terrible hero, if you ask me…”

Shuddering, he shoved New Game, his teeth gritted. His powers collected in his hands, and he forced himself to avoid attacking, unable to deny his anger. Sweet, innocent Blixer was gone. He’d been shattered and otherwise maimed way too many times to count, and he couldn’t trust himself to be happy. It was only a matter of time until things went wrong, after all… That seemed to be one of the constants of his world.

“You’re part of the problem…. If you weren’t around…” He shoved New again. “Maybe Kubix wouldn’t have gotten turned into a monster!”

New’s own aggression seemed to return, and he stood. “Well… how do you figure that, shortstack?” He stood, looming over Blixer by a few inches. They used to be the same height… after the incident… it seemed that the alter ego had grown a few inches. His mouth split into a fanged sneer, and he felt his scars stretch, threatening to sever. “We single handedly save this blighted world every blighted week… and you want to ridicule that?”

He pointed an accusatory claw at Blix, feeling a swell of sadistic satisfaction as his alter winced, afraid. He chuckled, his horns flicking upward. His scars ached with a phantom pain, and he winced, forcing a wider grin.

Recovering, Blixer hissed, “Every blighted week I get beaten within an inch of my life by a Tree-forsaken void-spawn of a monster…” His horns flicked back, and he started to scream. “I’m done sitting idly by while my own so-called family sics demons to kill… me… what’s next, my shardin’ grandparents come from the afterlife to rip off my fingers?!”

New’s good eye twitched, and he snarled, his heart rate monitor eye spiking.

“You know what… you should feel lucky… you didn’t get your blighted face ripped in half…” He raised a claw, his voice dropping to a venomous growl, “Although… that could be arranged…”

A sudden, wet ripping sound rang out (like that of flesh tearing), and New clasped a hand to his face, hissing in pain as he felt his stitches tear, pink blood pooling around his hands. He winced, glancing at Blixer. The other shape seemed terrified, his eye wide and tearful. He started to back away, raising a hand… which seemed to be close to becoming a cannon.

New chuckled nervously, dropping the violent act. Guilt pooled in his heart, and he felt a rush of nausea flood him; he’d gone too far… from how Blix was staring at him, he must have thought he was turning back into… that creature.

“Oh come on… I’m kidding…” He shrugged, removing his hand. “Blix… you have to get over it at some point.” Something dripped down his face from the wound, and he cringed, his vision blurring. He smiled shakily, trying not to make a sudden movement as he felt more of his stitches starting to tear… revealing the horrors within...

Blixer’s eye widened, and he screamed, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at New. The alter ego hissed, reeling, and Blixer scrambled back, vaulting over the bed and rushing out the door. Tears streamed down his face as he ran, his entire body glowing as he prepared to make a mad dash to escape. He didn’t even want to see Kubix…

“Blix!” New yelled after him. “Wait up! It was a joke, I promise!”

Blixer could still hear the skittering of billions of little legs with each step that his brother took. Just being in the same room with him… or any other formerly infected shape, was unbearable. He could still see the eyes staring at him from every angle, the mottled innards lining the ground as New Game’s spine cracked backwards, his flesh tearing apart like wet paper.

A choked sob left him, and he shook his head wildly.

Nothing was the same… it would never be the same again…

Blixer eventually collapsed, his legs giving out just as he shut himself in the closet. His eye was flaring with a panicked light, and he uncontrollably sobbed, his entire form quivering as he wept. It was hard to breathe, his hands flickering with his powers as he tried to force himself to stay calm.

The images from his nightmare assaulted his mind’s eye, and he broke down completely, covering his face, his claws digging into his arms as he hugged himself.

He couldn’t even bear to face his friends… each time he so much as locked eyes with his own father, he felt shudders crawling up his spine, his nerves on end as his anxiety skyrocketed. He was afraid…. Afraid that if he let his guard down, everyone around him would become something beastly and kill him.

His mind supplied a twisted pun; things were bugging him more easily lately. He let out a broken, bitter chuckle, his voice cracking… much like his body snapped each time he’d been slammed across walls by his enemies... by his own family.

He drew in on himself, whimpering as his laughter devolved into sobs again. He couldn’t forget that horrible day… having to watch his own brother rip himself to shreds, all in an attempt to stop himself from shattering… no, murdering him.

A soft knock at the door startled him from his dejected thoughts, and he looked up, choking on his own gasp. He coughed violently, shaking as his horns flicked back, fear filling him. How much time did he have until they hurt him again? Until some new big bad came around and turned someone he loved into a monstrous puppet, whose only purpose was to harm? Would he be next? Or would he just be the target the monsters would be sent to shatter? Blixer felt his heart stutter as he heard Kubix’s voice, muffled by the door.

“Blix? You alright?” The door started to open, and Blixer whimpered, scrambling back. “Blixer?”

He yelled, “G-get away from me!” He grabbed the nearest object- an old, balled up sock- and threw it at the square, screaming. “Please… please… get away!”

The sock sailed over Kubix’s head, despite his height. He opened the door fully, sighing and stepping inside. His eyes glowed with a soft, reassuring light, which was nothing like the deadly, predatory shine from the incident. Still, Blixer winced as Kubix approached.

“Blixer… what’s wrong?” He kneeled, reaching out slowly. “Did you have a nightmare?”

The unspoken, “Another one?” was easily communicated in the king’s tone. Blixer whimpered, shaking violently as he turned away, unable to coherently speak.

“S-stop… I.. I just wanna… wanna be alone right now… please…” he stammered. “Please… p-p-please….”

Kubix felt his heart break, and he sighed, his eyes dimming. He inched closer, and Blixer felt nausea race from his core, flooding his senses as he saw the scars along the sides of Kubix’s head, from where those dreaded horns had ripped from his skull.

“Get away… get away, please…” the small shape whimpered. “I can’t take it… can’t… just… please leave me… alone…”

All he could see was Kubix, covered in pink… spindly insect legs writhing from his back as he screamed and howled. Horns jutting from his head, spiking upwards in the air like wicked knives. Seeing the powerful king of Paradise, reduced to the pathetic, screeching mess of a creature, a creature that existed only to kill him. The flashback hit Blixer like a ton of bricks, and he screamed.

“You’re just going to h-hurt… me… again…”

Kubix backed away, raising his hands. “Blix… you know I’d never hurt you-”

“YOU ALWAYS DO!” Blixer suddenly shrieked. He threw a shoebox this time, wincing as it hit Kubix in the shoulder. He instantly cringed, drawing back with a squeak and cowering. “I’m sorry… I-I… I’m sorry….”

His eye was wide and unfocused… hazy with fear. His breaths were uneven, and Kubix was afraid that the pink shape had reached a breaking point.

“Blixer… stop apologizing… you’ve been through way more mess than a kid deserves…” He lowered his voice, his tone warm. “I’m sorry that I had to be the ‘bad guy’... you know that the real me would never hurt you… it was that… blighted infection…” He glanced down at his hands, mentally kicking himself for accepting that cursed tea… if he hadn’t been so naive…. Blixer wouldn’t have suffered…

“B-but… you used to… you used to be a bad, bad shape….” Blixer buried his face in his sleeves. “What’s stopping you from going back?”

Kubix winced, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Blixer… it’s been years since that happened… one incident isn’t going to undo… how much I care for my sons.”

Blixer hesitantly looked up at him. “I… I can still sense it…” He snarled, “E-everytime I see you and New Game and Penta… I can see the… the things you turned into…”

He looked away, breathing heavily. Kubix could see the utter terror in his son’s gaze. He felt his own heart stutter with a protective anger, and he suddenly reached out, pulling Blixer close. The shape instantly began to shriek, his eye widening and glowing with a terrified light. Kubix stood, backing out of the closet, keeping his hold firm yet soft.

“Blixer,” he whispered. He held the small shape close. “Please… listen to me… no one is going to hurt you…”

Blixer writhed, and Kubix felt claws digging into his arms. “Get away, let me go, let me go!” He felt as if he’d die. His heart quickened to a fervent pace, and he started screeching, vainly clawing at Kubix’s arms. “‘S-spiders… spiders every-everywhere…”

The small shape started hyperventilating, his eye wide and bright and so painfully distant. He was reliving his worst memory…. Even Annihilate wasn’t this bad… At least then, he hadn’t cared so much for Kubix… hadn’t had to fight his own father figure.

He tried to squirm out of Kubix’s hold. He could feel spiders crawling up his arms, a spine-chilling phantom sensation. He could see the black and pink acid dripping from Kubix’s mouth and eyes, like twisted tears… just before he started shrieking. He held his head, trying to banish the horrible images from his mind.

“Blixer… I’m not a spider…” Kubix held him, whispering futile reassurances. “Blixer… please… don’t do this… it’s okay…”

“No! It’s not… not okay… not okay…” Blixer shook. “Y-you… you guys turned into m-monsters… I never want to see anything like that… ever again…”

Kubix sighed, “I promise… I’ll do everything in my power to prevent that from happening again. You know this.”

He carried Blixer to the kitchen, setting him down at the table and pulling up a chair to sit across from him. New Game was already there, an ice pack pressed against his cheek as he glared passive-aggressively at his counterpart, who subtly inched his chair away. His glare was more like a slightly irritated, watery stare, pained tears having collected in the shape’s eyes. Kubix crossed his arms, sighing softly as he sorted out his words.

“Blixer… you need to tell us what’s bothering you. We can’t help ya if you just lash out…”

“T-tell you what’s wrong?!” The one-eyed shape growled, bristling. “Seeing you guys get torn apart and turned into monsters is what’s wrong! I thought that was obvious!”

Kubix narrowed his eyes, huffing. “You’ve seen me get turned into Annihilate far too many times to count… we both know you can handle a little body horror.”

It hurt to see Blixer like this; so standoffish, having closed off from the world in fear of being too vulnerable to help. It had been his emotions that stopped him from trying to save his own brother. He’d frozen up, overtaken by fear… but now, it seemed that he couldn’t stop reacting, usually with violence.

Kubix breathed, “Blixer… if it helps you get over this… I’ll go Annihilate right here and now just to make you see… I’m in control.” He winced as he felt his magic spike a bit, trying to force the irritated red out of his glow. “No matter what form I take… you’re still my son, Blix. As long as my mind is intact, I’ll never let ya get hurt again.”

New just grinned, starting to move the ice pack from his face. Blixer whimpered as he spotted the glowing yellow eye that had opened in the alter’s face. Kubix reached over, lightly plucking NGB on the shoulder and glaring at him. The alter ego huffed, pouting, before replacing the ice pack.

Blixer shuddered. “B-but… this was different…” He hugged himself. “Even when you go Annihilate… I know it’s still you, deep down... “ He looked away, sighing shakily. “But… whatever Suenami did… it changed you… and I can still sense it…”

Kubix huffed, “Blixer. Do I look like an insect?”

The panicked shape squirmed, shakily breathing. “N-no… not on the outside… but… w-what if…. What if the infection’s still there? What if you all t-t-turn back… into those bugs again…”

New scoffed, “Okay… so a FEW of those creepy eyes are still there… but I’m not gonna start sproutin’ bug legs all willy-nilly…unless...” He reached for Blixer with his free hand, wiggling his fingers eerily. “Ooh… I’m a monster… blegh…”

His brother squeaked, smacking his hand away. “Not funny!” he squealed. He growled under his breath, “Y-you won’t be laughing when I... spray you with pesticide…”

“You won’t be laughing when I turn into a bug monster and eat you.”

“Y-you’re already halfway -tthere…” Blixer’s tone was venomous… although his stutter remained.

New stood, clenching his fists. “Oh yeah? I’ll show you a real monster…”

“Look in the mirror and tell me what ya see…”

“Boys!” Kubix yelled. Both circles paused in their argument, eyes wide. The king huffed, crossing his arms as he eyed the two, disappointment clear in his gaze. “You two need to learn to get along…” He sighed, rubbing his temples. “Look, I get it… that… incident… was emotionally taxing for all of us…”

New Game deadpanned, “There’s an actual hole. In my face right now.”

“Shut it, New,” Blixer growled. His voice faltered instantly, and he huffed, quivering. “Just drop it.”

New ignored him, of course. “A Tree-forsaken hole, Kubix.”

Kubix glared at NGB, before sighing. “As I was saying… last week was filled with some… unfortunate events…” He looked away, glancing at his hands. “But… we can’t just let it tear us apart.”

Blixer snarled, “Tell that… tell that to New Game.”

The alter ego whimpered, sitting down and hugging himself. He subconsciously scratched at his scars, squirming in discomfort. Blixer seemed to regret his rude tone, turning to face his brother with a small sigh. Hesitantly, he hugged the other, his horns flicking back as he stared hollowly through Kubix.

“S-sorry… I just… haven’t been feeling myself… since then…”

Kubix’s eyes filled with a sympathetic light. “I know…” He breathed shakily, “None of us have…”

Standing without another word, Kubix backed away, giving a last, empathetic smile, before turning away. He rushed out of the kitchen, towards his room… The last thing he wanted to do was scare Blixer… and if his very presence was painful, he’d just stay away… until things all returned to normal… no matter how much it hurt to know that he was the source of his own child’s nightmares.

Blixer thought he saw a flash of an agitated red in Kubix’s glow. He hurriedly stuttered, “D-Dad… wait…” He stood, dashing over to intercept Kubix’s departure. As he caught the ruby glimmer in the king’s eye, he felt his breath catch, a twinge of fear stinging at his core. He stammered, “I’m s-s-sorry… I shouldn’t have been so… so curt…”

Kubix’s expression faltered, and he backed away a pace. “Blixer… I know you’re still on edge… I want you to recover at your own pace… I can’t force you to be happy.”

“No…” Blixer shook his head. “NGB may be a pest…” That earned him a glare. “But I… I can’t just… run from my fear... “ He shuddered, barely able to make eye contact…. Barely able to ignore the anxiety in his heart. “I faced Ra… and Droplet… and… our own family… I should be able to face my fears.”

He took a hesitant step towards Kubix. The square went still, not wanting to frighten his son again. The young hero was terrified… he could see his horns quivering at a glance. New Game watched from afar, blinking owlishly. He was curious… what would Blixer do? Run… or face his fears head-on?

Kubix breathed, “Blix… if you’re scared of me… it… it’s okay… I know I haven’t given you reason to t-trust me lately…” He sighed, collecting himself. It hurt to see his son so terrified… of him. “But I promise you…Even if you think I’m still a monster... I will never hurt you, Blixer. Please, try to understand that much…”

He was cut off as Blixer hollered.

“N-no! I’m not afraid of you… because you’re n-not… you’re not a monster…” Blixer took another step, quivering like a leaf. “You’re… my dad.”

Much to the shock of the other shapes, Blixer suddenly hugged Kubix. Terrified shudders went down his spine, and he lingered, shaking violently. He repeated a mental mantra like a broken record, reassuring himself that his father was himself… that he wouldn’t harm him… ever again.

Yet, the memories of all the times Kubix had been controlled, all the times that he had hurt him… made Blixer’s eye fill with tears, and he shook, his breath catching.

“I… I don’t w-w-want…. Don’t want you… to turn into a monster… e-e-ever again…” His voice cracked, quavering. “I… I wouldn’t be able to take it…”

Kubix returned the embrace, sighing. He reached down, picking up the small shape and carrying him back to the table. He wordlessly pulled New into the hug as well, holding his two sons close… as his happiness depended on their safety…

In a way… it did.

Kubix’s voice was airy as he whispered, “I’ll never let this happen again…” He shuddered. “You shouldn’t have to fear for your lives… not in my kingdom…”

New said nothing, and Blixer just whimpered. The latter felt an eerie chill race up his spine. He could still picture those insect-like legs, the extra limbs that had torn free from Kubix’s back… that had left scars deeper than any corruption.

Blixer couldn’t speak. There was really nothing to say, except that he was deeply, truly afraid. The scars were proof that the transformations hadn’t been mere corruption… it was something much, much worse...

Kubix continued, “If you ever… ever feel unsafe… I will be there in an instant, and I will slay whatever beast is harming you….”

New shuddered. “It… it hurts, Kubix…” He sniffled, despite himself. “I’m s-s-sorry… sorry for teasing Blixer…”

“Like I said, I’ll always protect you… both of you.”

Kubix held them for awhile, silent. He still hadn’t been able to fully shake the effects of the incident. It was so, so much worse than anything he’d ever encountered. At least in the past, when it was simple as corruption, they could be sure that whatever mutations had occurred would fade away completely… but now, the scars ran deep to their cores, and Kubix was unsure if he could take it.

Yet… he’d remain strong for his sons… for his kingdom. He started to drift off to sleep, hoping dearly for sweet dreams, before he heard whimpering. He looked down, seeing Blixer clinging to New, his eye wide with tears.

“Blix?”

Blixer finally squeaked, “Wh-what if you’re the beast….?” He buried his face in Kubix’s sleeve. “What if… what if you lose c-control? What if you turn… into a m-m-monster?”

He didn’t want to picture that scenario… he never wanted to see Kubix or New Game… or anyone else… in that state again.

“Blix… as long as we’re on the same side, you never have to see me as a monster again… however…” The square chuckled, despite his seriousness. His tone was bitter, laced with a morbid, foreboding growl. “To the enemy… that’s exactly what I’ll be.”

#jsab #Just shapes and beats #blixer #new game #Other people's OCs #kubix #jsab au #fanfic #Oh Look a Story Thing #body horror #blood #eyes #horror warning #oops all angst #gore tw

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star-crossedfidelity · 5 years

Text

~ Leon’s Story: Coming Forward ~

Mun!Yuki: So I’ve been wanting to do this for a while. While Leon’s birthday past already and I’m happy to also upload this for Juliet’s birthday as they are inseparable duo, I would like to note these things before going into the story:

* This takes place way before Leon started dating Isaiah, or even became friends with him.

* This establishes more of the relationship Leon shares with Ruki since it has not really been shown much here.

* The depth of the close bond between Leon and Juliet.

This is actually a special story I wanted to do for Leon because it has not been established on when Leon came out about his sexuality to Hisoka and Ruki. That will change as of now.

And now without further ado, Let us begin! :D

This has always been a problem for Leon to come forth with.

Ever since he has entered Middle School, Leon has always tried to present himself in a positive way; While it may be popular with mostly women, there were still others that found reasons to hate him.

Nonetheless, He cannot bring himself to do anything else but to continue smiling, burying all of the negative emotions inside.

Even if it mean hiding things he wished he didn’t have to hide for his own safety.

Things he wished he didn’t have to feel fear telling his parents that he loved dearly.

“I don’t understand why you should be scared to tell them, you’re worried over nothing again.”

“Sis, you don’t understand.. I know Mom will accept it, but how would Dad react to it?”

It was just a normal evening for Juliet and Leon; It was after Leon‘s classes ended and Juliet eating takoyaki as they both make their way home.

But this time, it was upon the topic of a sensitive issue for the blonde.

Lately, as he attends Junior High School, he became victim of bullying by male peers due to his appearance and his gentle nature; However, after a sudden accusation about being a homosexual as another form of bullying, Leon felt crushed and helpless inside while he hid it with a calm smile and state he was not.

The reason for that was because he was not only attracted to female, Leon was also attracted to men.

He is aware that he isn’t exactly as masculine as most boys his age are, but to be treated less as a human being made him horrified about what his father would think; Even after hearing about how disappointed and enraged some fathers were in their own children for their own sexual orientation. It even tore families apart.

“I still don’t see how you being bisexual should make any difference to Father. I bet you ¥1500 that he wouldn’t care; I mean, he didn’t have any problem with Mother when she had feelings for Aunt Yui besides taking advantage of it for that stupid plan that was bound to fail.” Juliet pointed out before taking another bite of Takoyaki.

“But I’m his son. I do like girls, but I also find men attractive. What if he becomes disappointed in me? What if him and Mom end up fighting because of it? What if-“ Leon slowly started to panic from pessimistic thoughts until Juliet stopped and shoves a octopus ball into his mouth to silence him.

“That’s enough.” Her voice became stern and firm, masking the genuine anger Leon could hear through her voice. “So what if you like men too? You’re still you, Leon. I think the only thing he will have to be concerned about is what your partner would be like. He is a man of expectations, you know.” Juliet wasn’t wrong. Their father had expectations. While it became very clear with how him and their mother raised them to know better, both Juliet and Leon knew that they are only allowed to date someone, with their father’s permission, if they have certain requirements.

“Mmphmmp!” Leon tried to fan himself as the hotness from the Takoyaki burns his mouth before he tries to chew and swallow in order to talk. “That’s one of the reasons I’m afraid. What if he doesn’t accept if my partner is male? And what if he finds my collectables and tells me to throw them away?”

“Leon, I highly doubt Father would care about the male anime and idol crushes you have.” The older sister bluntly states, “If he throws them away, we just burn his books.”

“Sis, we are not committing arson!” Leon looked at his sister with an agitated look, “Dad would literally kill us!”

“Bold of you to assume I didn’t want death in the first place.” Juliet glances to Leon and saw that his expression was mixed with horror and shock, making the girl roll her eyes, “I was kidding; Like I would let myself die easy.”

Leon sighs in relief and places a hand on his head, closing his eyes for a brief moment.

His sister can be too much sometimes.

“But honestly, if it were me, I would just tell them.”

Leon glances to his sister who continues to eat her Takoyaki, and swallows before continuing.

“I get you don’t want to disappoint Father. But it’s better to be true to yourself regardless of backlash, rather than to pretend being someone you are not just to satisfy others.” Juliet states, “Father is sharp and can see through our lies; If he doesn’t like it, then we’ll just tell him he’s going to have to get over it.”

The blonde was about to respond until he caught what his raven-haired sister just said.

‘We’ll...?’

Did... Did she imply that she will be there for him when he comes out to both their parents?

Leon smiles.

Despite her cruel, sadistic mannerisms, Juliet was still kind underneath those rough layers.

Of course, He can’t say that. It’s a rule that has been established.

“Thank you, Sis...”

No matter what people say, He was grateful to have Juliet as his big sister.

“Don’t mention it. Just make me some more Takoyaki at home and we’ll be even.”

“Deal.”

Later that evening, the siblings wait until after dinner to approach their parents. The blonde almost froze on the spot until Juliet, standing behind him, carefully shoves him towards them.

“H-hey Mom, Dad.. Can we talk?” Leon stutters. Ruki and Hisoka turn to them.

“Hm? Leon, sweetie, is everything alright?” Hisoka questioned with a worried expression. “Does this have something to do with why you were behaving strangely during dinner?” Ruki questioned. The blonde flinched but felt a feeling of relief as he felt his sister’s hand gently patting upon his back.

That’s right. Their father has always been able to see through others.

“Yeah...” Leon mumbles.

As soon as they all took a seat in the dining table, Leon tried to find the words to speak. Juliet, sitting beside him, only spectates. She may be his emotional support system at this moment, but she takes her job as an older sister seriously; Leon needs to get the words out by himself.

“What is it you wanted to speak with us about, Leon?” Hisoka asked. From how things look, It must be serious. Especially since Juliet is sitting beside him with a calming aura as he is shaking like a leaf.

“I-I...” Leon could feel the tears swelling up. Doubts and the pessimistic thoughts returns to his mind. It was hard at school where he had to completely hide his sexual orientation to assure that his tormentors will never find out and make the torment harder than it already was.

His mother is never a problem; But his father was a different story. He was a human that was later turned into a vampire before returning back into a human. From what he remembers from stories told about his father, He was a highly conservative man. He was born a very different time from his mother, when such a thing was considered taboo. If he told him about being bisexual, would his father dismiss it as him being indecisive? His father may be scary, but Leon still loved him regardless because he was still his father. So he-

“Leon,”

The blonde looks up to see his father looking at him with seriousness. “Is there something you would like to say?” He questioned. The tone of his voice was firm with slight concern.

“I...” Leon took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

He was Leon. Leon Adam Mukami. He is the son of Ruki and Hisoka Mukami. The son of a former vampire and a former huntress.

He opens his eyes and glances at Juliet, who continues to look at him with a sincere expression.

And as long as there was still someone there for him that will accept him for who he is, then that’s all he could ever ask for.

The blonde turns his eyes to his father and took one more deep breath.

“Dad, I... I’m bisexual.”

The room was silent.

Uncomfortable with the long silence, Leon spoke up once again.

“I-I know you’re disappointed, and I-I-I assure you I’m not confused, but even if you don’t accept it, it’s not going to change and...!”

“And who said I was disappointed, Leon?”

Leon stopped and stared at his father, tilting his head to the side in confused by his words. Taking notice of this, Ruki sighed. “You’re just like your mother... Hisoka.”

Hisoka couldn’t help but laugh nervously by the comment and stood up from her seat when her husband calls her name, before walking to Juliet. “Juliet, I think we should leave them both alone.” She suggested. The raven-haired girl sighed before rising from her own seat. “I guess so.”

Like that, the two young women leaves both the men in the dining room in silence. The first to break it was Ruki.

“I will be honest, I‘ve already figured that you were.” He confessed. “Y-You did?!” Leon stutters. “Of course I did; I’m your father.” Ruki pointed out, “But why did you decide to choose now to tell me?”

Leon sighed, “I was scared...” He confessed. “Scared?” One of Ruki’s eye brows rose in confusion by his son’s answer. “I was scared because.. I’m your son. A son is suppose to make a father proud. But I feel different compared to the other guys in my school, more than I already am. I hid it because I was afraid not exceeding your expectations as your son. But Sis told me it’s best to tell you than to worry about hiding it... that’s why..”

Leon’s face began to turn bright red from embarrassment. This was just weird.

“And you thought I would be ashamed because, while you like women, you also find the same gender attractive? Because it was “not normal”? Leon, Your mother and I raised you to know better than that.”

“H-huh?”

Ruki sighed before staying with a serious tone, “Leon, I do have expectations. We all do. But in this family, we will never be human society’s definition of ‘normal’. Your mother and I never followed any rules or law by them, even after we started living normal lives. I was once a vampire, she was once a huntress. We lived different lives than them.. In this family, we don’t care about what human society defines as ‘normal’. It doesn’t exist. Do you understand now?”

Leon couldn’t help but blink.

Was this... his father’s way of saying that he accepts him...?

Tears start to stream down from his blue orbs and a relieved smile formed upon the blonde’s face. “Yes, Dad...” He answers before bowing down his head.

“But it still won’t change the conditions in bringing home a partner; Understand?”

“Yes, sir...!”

Sniffles can be heard as Leon tries to hold back his tears.

“And.. Hey Dad..?” Leon managed to say, as tear drops

“Yes, Leon?” Ruki got up from his seat and walked to sit beside his son, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Ruki knew that, while his son was too nice, Leon makes up for it with his sincere honesty with others; His son’s honesty becomes his courage. Sympathetic, warm, and faithful; He really does see a lot of traits Leon inherited from his mother, including her smile.

“Thank you... I love you too, Dad...” Managing to say this, Leon hugs his father and let out his tears; Sobbing, Leon tries to catch his breath but was unable to and hugged his father tighter; Although, Leon failed to realize through his tears that his father was hugging back.

While the words weren’t said, Leon already knew that it was also his father’s way of saying that he still loved him the way he is; Nonetheless, that was how his father was and the blonde wouldn’t have it any other way.

Even if his father was scary, Leon will still remain grateful having a father like him.

#leon mukami #juliet mukami #rusoka #yuki’s writing #Yuki’s Writing

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gillian-wildnightstudios-blog · 5 years

Text

Why TV Shows Make Decisions That Drive You Nuts

Hello all!

I’m Gillian, and I write alot. I storytell roleplaying games, both tabletop and LARP. I also write screenplays, do special effects, and work on film sets.

In this pseudo-rant, I’m going to try to explain why your favorite TV show’s writers do things that make you want to scream, tear out your hair, or rage-quit a series.

First, you need to understand a few things involved in writing screenplays, more specifically episodic television screenwriting.

It’s VERY different than writing a novel. A novel is under your COMPLETE control. You can write whatever you want that’s in your head. The characters will never do anything you don’t want them to do, they’re your little dancing puppets. You have however long you want to write, and you can have as many chapters as you want. You have no obligations, you’re not getting paid. Usually.

A TV script is a group effort. You are only partially in control, with a group of other writers, with input from the Producer, often the actors/actresses, network execs, and financial-dudes. You may not like the final decisions, but you grit your teeth and do your damned best because it’s your job and you want more work while simultaneously wanting to keep your work to a certain standard that you yourself can be proud of. A scene from your script will never be exactly what you pictured. This is because YOU are not the Director. They are the one in charge of bringing your vision to life in whatever way THEY choose. You have (in many networks) 23 episodes in which to tell 45-60 (roughly) page complete mini-stories, stringing together in a cohesive whole for a full story arc.

THIS IS FRIGGING DIFFICULT.

Books and fic can be for yourself as much as they can be for others.

TV episodes are for the audience. Execs want their shows to appeal to as many age and gender brackets as possible because then a show brings in more $$$$ through merchandising, licensing, commercial time, etc. This isn’t to say that Execs don’t love their shows, just that it’s as much a business as it is an art, and they frequently have to answer to shareholders, investors, etc (some of whom don’t have a creative bone in their body, some of whom are amazingly creative).

When writing an episodic series, you want the audience engaged, interested, invested in the characters, because then they’ll come back for more. Sometimes like masochists.

This is why they throw curve balls or do things to the characters that seems weird or enraging. Because we want a reaction. We want to kick you in the feels. We want you coming back to be angry at us. We want you coming back to love us. We want you coming back to wonder what the hell we were thinking.

But Gillian, you say, why would you want people to be pissed at you?

I could say it’s because haters make you famous, but the real answer is because it shows that you CARE about these characters, about that show. You don’t get pissed at something you don’t care about. The fact that a fandom can flip their crackers over something that happens on a TV show and spew millions of terabytes worth of internet rants about it means they are INVESTED in the show.

You still love the characters, you still love the show, though you may hate what they do, or you may hate the storylines. Some of you may hate it so much you rage-quit. That’s sad, but fine. Writers and showrunners have that delicate balance of keeping their base audience engaged (note- engaged doesn’t always mean happy), and try to attract new viewers.

It’s not easy. At all. I was once told the sign of a successful negotiation is that everyone leaves unhappy. I feel that applies to the balance of storytelling as well. You’re never going to please everyone. Ever.

AND THAT’S OKAY.

My tastes and yours are not the same. You hate Supergirl because it’s feminist overtones are too strong? That’s fine. I love it. I’ve dealt with that shit my whole life, as have many other women. It’s not like you’re obligated to watch it. You hate Olicity in Arrow? Well, I feel sorry for your terrible taste, but that’s okay, too.

As @stopandfangirl3 retweeted “"There’s a sense of: “I’m right, you’re wrong” rather than accepting the fact that people are coming from different places.“ @LynniePurcell”

Spew your hate, your adoration, your anger. Argue and rant and profess your love. A good writer will bathe in your rage and tears and giddy laughter and ask for more.

Why?

Because our goal is to entertain, to engage, to invoke emotion. Screenwriters livelihoods depend on it.

Now, keeping all that in mind, I still hate it at times. ;-)

However, my lessons from years as a tabletop and LARP game master/storyteller have made something VERY clear. The players do not see everything. They are not omniscient. They cannot predict what will happen, why it will happen, or when it will happen. And when they perceive something as being terrible, they will bitch a blue streak about how it’s unfair or bad without having any idea of what other plotlines are going on, the reasons behind the storyline, or even the fact that another player might be screwing them.

I feel the same is true for fandom audiences. We do not see everything. We do not know how these plotlines will end. We see something we don’t like and bitch til our lungs give out.

Specifically in regards to Arrow, I’m a diehard Olicity fan. Do I like what they’re doing here in the end of season 4 and beginning of season 5? Definitely not, but I haven’t seen the end of the line yet, so making a decision now seems premature. Gotta keep on my big girl pants and be patient.

Anyway, the real question is, do I think the runners and writers are stupid enough to ignore completely the fact that their show and ‘ship is SO LOVED that they won the MTV Ship of the Year award for two of the three years the awards been running?

Nope. I think they’re sadists, not stupid. Happy happy sadists.

:-D

EDIT: I realized the above post may not clearly say how excited I am about season 5 of Arrow. I am, I totally am, and will happily continue to watch it as it stabs me in my feels, no matter how soap opera it gets! ;-)

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vengeancect · 5 years

Note

would u say that u genuinely have faith in religious ideas like god/hell, or is it maybe an extension of your unpleasant situation, that you were influenced towards by your family's insistence on religion

no idea, sometimes i feel like i’m just latching onto it because i’d like another thing to feel bad or hopeless about. i don’t think i have faith in anything though. that would take an amount of strength/vulnerability/confidence i don’t think i could ever muster. i’ve been made fun of in the past for this general lack of faith and i suppose i deserve it. back then i just thought there was no way god could really exist and all that happened when you died was your consciousness ended, i liked that idea to some extent. i felt that god was obviously just a crutch used by my parents and immediate family. but now...i don’t know. i have to always consider salvation or hell, and i do so a million times everyday, but the actual idea of god or whatever brings me no joy. it just seems like another horrible thing to deal with, on top of life and human existence already seeming terrifying and psychopathic and cruel. i used to think i had god in me as a child or whatever but that was just me being stupid. same with me thinking i used to be happy. nowadays i can’t fathom the idea of seeing any kind of light or hope in this. it just seems weird and sadistic and unavoidable, and at this point i feel so absolutely sick of being alive i’d rather deal with that instead. so, i’m not exactly sure what made this happen again, i don’t know if it’s even happening again. i don’t know, i think i just realized how many people believe in god and love and forgiving others, despite horrific things being done to them. if these people can go through that and still talk about love healing everything, what does that say about me? why am i so special? what conclusion am i supposed to draw from that aside that i’m just some demented infant who will never see the light and go to hell? how come a person who has masturbated dozens of times to me as a kid can still get all defensive and uppity when i insult god or mary in front of him? and it feels so stupid because i was supposed to be the religious one, but even back then i don’t think it ever made me feel safe or good. i’d cry thinking about demons and satan (which my aunt explained as having evil videogames influence my brain earlier this year). and a few days ago she told me that being christian was a straight and narrow path which meant i’d need to let go of “some things i like”. i remember smearing “holy oil” on my screen to somehow try to protect my TV from satanic influence. i don’t know. apparently i’m just not good enough to feel god in my life. but then again it’s apparently my choice? like i can just do it at any time no matter what i do? last year someone bitched to me about leading a horse to water and basically how i was a stubborn fucking moron. i even asked my aunt about it and she said that accepting god IS a choice, and you have to talk to him and whatever. so i guess i must be choosing to go to hell right? it’s all it takes. i don’t know. i guess all my petty anger towards these people is unconsciously motivating my decision. i get that. so, would it really matter all that much if i just killed myself and went there already? it’s no big secret, right? and i don’t want to spend all this fucking time here.

it’s another thing where everything i could possibly say about it is wrong and fucked up and is that way just because i want it, until it suddenly isn’t, but was secretly like that all along somehow, and the only accurate way i could express this would be screaming and trying to claw my own throat out. hell is at least a lot more sincere then earth. it’s a place of eternal suffering and agony and if you’re there than it means you deserve to be there. it means you were evil, ignorant, selfish, jealous or lazy, and now you have to pay. it’s not whatever this bullshit is. and people believe in all sorts of different gods almost as if everyone wants to make me as confused and angry as possible. like i was raised with the most old school gay-hating god possible. music and TV are bad, the end times are coming etc. but then there’s other people who talk about god being full of love, and all about forgiveness, or pain, or WHATEVER and then there’s, like whatever god’s okay with you sending hentai to 12 year olds on the internet i guess. i mean he could be forgiven from that, anyone could be forgiven from anything, except suicide maybe? i don’t know. it’s apparently a conscious easy choice you can make but also a very hard quest. hey maybe if i kill myself that could spark my parents go on some self improvement quest. like they could finally find god and heal the wounds they should have focused on healing decades ago instead of getting married and breeding. i was obviously bullshitting as a kid and all manner of religious thought got immediately destroyed as soon as i stepped into the internet relativity chaos vortex. but apparently you can also believe in god while being an internet person. but it’s like a nicer god that doesn’t do any mean things except send people to hell, which is okay because they all deserved it. i want to blow my brains out.

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lilacmoon83 · 6 years

Text

Dreaming Out Loud

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 164: Flaws

After leaving the Inn and threatening Owen, or Greg Mendell, as he was now calling himself, Regina sat despondently in her car, across from the diner. She knew it would only cause her pain and sure enough, it did, as she watched him come out of the diner with his family, beaming from ear to ear. She still couldn't believe it. Rumpelstiltskin's son and Snow White's daughter were the birth parents of her precious Henry. Fate certainly did have a sadistic sense of humor. She longed for the days before the curse was broken, before David Nolan was awake and Mary Margaret was a lonely, miserable wallflower, and before Emma Swan. Before all that, there had been a time where she and Henry were very happy; a time when she was all he ever needed. But those times were gone and she had been brainstorming on ways to get them back. However, Jefferson had been right about what he told her just a few months ago. The changes that Emma had brought couldn't just be undone. There was no putting back this open can of worms now, no matter how much she wished it.

Earlier that day, she had gone through her mother's things and found a written curse tucked away in one of her gowns. She knew her mother had meant for her to find this particular curse. It was the curse of the empty-hearted. In theory, it had the power to make someone think they loved you. She had instantly thought about using it on Henry, but the price was that she needed the heart of the person she hated most. It was brilliant, theoretically and exactly the thing her mother would leave her. If enacted, this curse would give her Henry and get her vengeance on Snow. But it was an impossible feat. Getting Snow's blood had been difficult enough and that had been with Hermes' help. Her heart...that was a different story entirely. While Persephone could not protect Snow twenty-four hours a day, she was on extra high alert with Hades in town. Which meant that it was likely that she had placed all kinds of protection spells on and around her daughter and family, ones they might not even been aware of. And with protection spells naturally came the one that prevented a heart rip. Regina's magic was powerful, but knew it was really no match for Persephone's.

"Thank you Mother...but unfortunately, it isn't meant to be," she muttered sadly, as she watched the dwarves drive up in David's truck. They got out and tossed the keys to the Prince, before heading into the diner with the former giant. That was odd, indeed, and she wondered what it was all about.

Curiously, she got out of her car once they left and using her magic, she enchanted the road to show her the tire tracks. With that, Regina followed them out into the outskirts of town and found that they ended in an empty field. She got out of the car and found a barrier spell was in place and not one that was strong enough to be Persephone's. In fact, if she had to guess, it was probably a fairy spell. She waved her hand and revealed what the field was hiding. She was shocked to see a full crop of beans...magic beans. She pursed her lips and confiscated a pod that had two beans in it. Perhaps getting revenge on Snow wasn't possible, but maybe getting Henry back could be with these beans...

~*~

Henry bounded into the loft, as they arrived home that evening. Neal was with them, as Emma had agreed to allow him to come tuck Henry in.

"Thanks for letting me come...I know this all still pretty weird," he mentioned. She shrugged.

"You're Henry's dad and he loves you. I only want him to be happy," she replied.

"Hey Gramps...if we're not going back to the Enchanted Forest, then why is Tiny and the dwarves growing the beans?" Henry asked curiously.

"Well...Tiny offered to grow them for us and while we may have decided that Storybrooke is our home now, we also decided that as leaders, it's only right that we offer others a way to leave if they want to," David explained.

"Yeah...and since leaving Storybrooke for others requires spells that aren't easy to replicate, we decided that we could offer this choice instead," Snow added.

"Do you think that if there is enough beans someday that we can visit the Enchanted Forest and then come home?" he asked, looking at his parents. Emma and Neal exchanged a glance.

"Uh...I don't know. But I guess it's something we could definitely talk about," Emma said with uncertainty.

"Yeah...but for now, I think we should get you ready for bed," Neal interjected. Henry nodded.

"Wanna see my comic book collection?" Henry asked excitedly. Neal smiled.

"Sure kid...let's go up and see. You know, I have a pretty good stack myself back in New York. We'll have to compare someday," he mentioned.

"That would be awesome. Mom...do you think we could all go to New York? Grams and Gramps too? Henry asked. Emma smiled.

"Ah well...if things keep calm around here, maybe that trip can happen soon," she agreed tentatively. Neal ruffled his hair.

"Let's go look at those comic books," Neal said.

"For a little while and then brush your teeth and get ready for bed," Emma called, as he bounded upstairs to the loft with Neal following. Emma sighed and Snow went to the kitchen.

"How about some cocoa?" she asked. Emma smiled and nodded, as she sat at the island.

"That sounds great, Mom," she agreed. The loft door opened and Persephone walked through. She shed her coat and hung it up, before joining them in the kitchen.

"Cocoa?" Snow asked. She smiled.

"If you spike it with vodka," she replied. Snow frowned and put the milk down.

"So it was a bad day? I figured considering it's about thirty degrees in April," Snow mentioned. Persephone smiled thinly.

"I'm sorry about that...I've never been very good at controlling my emotions when it comes to Hades...or you for that matter," she responded.

"You confronted him, didn't you?" Emma asked. She nodded.

"I had to...I had to make sure that he's not here to undo the trappings I placed Deimos in," she replied.

"And is he?" David asked.

"He says he isn't...he says he has no intention of releasing him," she answered.

"But you don't believe him," Snow guessed.

"I'm not sure what to believe anymore. Hermes is obviously just as confused by his behavior and even I have to admit that he's...different," Persephone replied.

"Different how?" David asked curiously.

"In many ways. For instance, my constant disdain and defiance of him is usually met with anger. But now he just seems amused by me," Persephone replied.

"That is kind of strange," Emma mentioned.

"And it gets stranger...I think something happened in the Underworld," Persephone said.

"Like what?" David asked. She shrugged.

"I don't know, that's the thing. He says that something happened and that he's protecting me...us by not telling me. Which sounds like his usual load of crap...but I don't know…" Persephone said, as she tried to put it into words.

"I've known him a very long time...I've been married to him for centuries and it's like...he's a different person. I just don't know what to think," she lamented.

"Is there any way you might be able to find out what happened there without asking him?" Emma questioned.

"Short of going there...I'm not sure. I should probably speak to my mother though," she replied.

"Do you think she might come here?" Snow asked curiously. Persephone smiled.

"I know she wants and now that Hades is here, I wouldn't be surprised if she finds a way here. She was the second person that held you, you know," Persephone said, as she took her cup and went up to the loft. Snow smiled, as she watched her go and David pressed a kiss to her hair. Snow served their cocoa and Emma sipped at hers, just as Neal came down the stairs.

"He brushed his teeth and he's all tucked in. Thanks again for letting me do that," he said, as they eyes met. She smiled.

"Henry's pretty stoked about having you in his life...and I promise that we'll work out some sort of custody thing. It's just complicated...with Regina and everything," Emma replied. But he held up his hands.

"Emma...no pressure. He's in good hands with you and your parents," he assured. She nodded.

"You know we need to talk about this though. I mean...the kid would love nothing more than for you to move here to Storybrooke," she mentioned. He nodded.

"I know...and it's something Tamara and I have to talk about. She's...not going to want to move here," he replied.

"And neither do you," Emma realized.

"I honestly don't know. When I first came here, that would have been a hard no. But now...I mean Henry is here and suddenly there is a lot less to leave behind in New York than I remember, save for Tamara, of course," he replied. She nodded.

"I get it…" she said. He sighed.

"Whatever happens...I promise that Henry's not going to get hurt," he said. She smiled thinly.

"That's what matters," she agreed, as she saw him out.

"That was tense," David muttered, as he slid his arms around Snow from behind.

"Yes…" she said sadly.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I just...what if Neal does go back to New York? I'm not sure I like the idea of Henry not being here in town sometimes," she replied.

"Me either...but I'm not sure his grandparents get a say, my darling," he said. She sighed and put their cups in the sink.

Meanwhile, Emma saw Neal out and realized that he had dropped a card on the steps.

"Hey...you dropped this…" she said, as she trailed off and looked at the card.

"Oh...that's nothing," he insisted, as he snatched it away.

"Nothing? Because it looks like something," Emma replied, with a note of anger.

"Emma…" he started to explain.

"Calyn Barlos...Family Attorney at law? That's nothing?" she questioned.

"She's a friend of Tamara's and she gave me the card, but I never had any intention of making that call," he assured. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Emma...I wouldn't do that to our son! I know how much he loves his family and Storybrooke," he insisted.

"I hope for your sake that's true. People can't find out about this town, Neal. Tamara knows that, right? She knows what could happen if people knew about this place," she argued.

"Of course she knows...this was before I told her everything. She's not going to do anything to put Storybrooke in danger," he insisted. Emma sighed.

"I really hope you're right," she replied. He sighed and tore up the card to hopefully satisfy her.

"I don't need it, so it's gone," he assured, as he went down the stairs and Emma went back inside. She saw her parents in the kitchen and her mother giggled at something her father was whispering in her ear.

"Honey...are you okay?" Snow asked. Emma put on a smile for them.

"Yeah...I'm fine. I think I'll go tuck the kid in and go to bed myself," she replied, as she hurried upstairs. They frowned.

"I don't think she's okay at all," Snow fretted.

"Definitely not...but you know Em. She'll come to us when she's ready. I think this is one of those times that it will be best not to push," he admonished. She sighed. She knew she did that a lot, but it was only because she wanted to solve all her daughter's problems. But she knew that she couldn't and that his approach was right in this instance. Whatever was between Neal and Emma had to be hashed out between them. They could be there to comfort her and give her advice, but only when she came to them. So she would reluctantly take her husband's lead on this one.

"You're right...I do push too much," she agreed. He kissed her cheek.

"She knows it's because you love her so much. And I promise that she'll come to us. She always does," he assured, as he took her hand and led her to their bed. He sat down and pulled her down into his lap.

"I think bed is a very good idea for us too right now," he purred. She smiled and kissed him.

"I agree...but I hope not just to sleep?" she asked coyly. He smirked and pulled the curtains around their bed.

"Oh no...never just to sleep, my love," he agreed, as their lips met again.

As their lips parted, Snow bit her bottom lip and started unbuttoning his shirt. He shed it and let it fall to the floor, before kissing her again. She mewled, as his lips trailed down her slender neck and she gasped, as he cupped her breasts. Her hands went to his belt and she undid it, as their lips parted and he grabbed the hem of her shirt, before pulling it over her head. Her skirt was next and he hooked his arm around her waist, as he slid them up the bed, allowing her head to fall to the pillow. They smiled at each other and the tossed the covers up and over them, as they gave way to their unbridled passion...

~*~

The dream started out quite pleasant. The scene was in his shop with Henry blowing out birthday candles. He, Belle, Snow, and Charming looked on and clapped like the proud grandparents that they were. Emma and Neal clapped as well, with Neal putting his hands on his boy's shoulders and Emma doting on him, before going to cut the cake.

"And now, my boy, for your birthday present. Pick one object from the shop. Anything you like," Gold offered. Henry walked around looking for something and then stopped, as he pointed at the wands.

"That," Henry stated, as he picked up a wand and waved it around.

"Alright, careful buddy. Wands are powerful," Neal warned. Henry turned to Mr. Gold.

"So...how does it work?" he asked.

"Here...let me show you," Rumple replied, as Henry handed the wand to him. Mr. Gold waved it through the air for a moment and then suddenly turned Henry into a ceramic statue with a flick of his wrist. The others present in the shop cried out in terror.

"Gold...why would you do that?!" David demanded to know.

"The Prophecy. The seer said the boy would be my undoing. So I have no choice...I must be his," Rumple answered, as he took his cane and shattered the statue.

~*~

Rumpelstiltskin jolted awake and sat up in bed, as he breathed heavily, with the dream still weighing heavily on him. Truthfully, he hadn't thought about that prophecy in a very long time. But now that he had his son back, he recalled the seer's foreboding warning; that a boy would be his undoing. Fate certainly was a tricky bitch, for in all his foresight, he had never imagined that the boy he had vowed to destroy so long ago would be his own grandson. If the prophecy was to be believed, then his own mortality could be tied to Henry's existence. But if he were to do the unthinkable, then Belle would shun him. She'd never forgive such an atrocity, nor would the others, obviously. And while that had never stopped him before, it made him pause now. He rather liked the life they had now. He had love now. He still had power. He had family and friends once again. But at the same time, if he died, then he would lose that. However, if he killed Henry, his own flesh and blood, then he would lose everyone in his life, not to mention, quite possibly what was left of his darkened soul. Yes...fate was quite the sadist. But perhaps this was one prophecy that he could thwart. After all, the visions of the future weren't always exactly clear.

In a way, he had become a much different version of himself; much like the man he had once been before power. Did he dare hope that the supposed unmaking of him could be more metaphorical than literal? Did he dare entertain that notion? Family and friends had certainly made him softer. He actually did things for them without making deals now. There was no quid pro quo anymore really. He offered help and in turn they had helped him; in fact far more than he had ever thought non-magical persons could.

Regardless of these musings though, Rumple knew that killing his own flesh and blood would cost him everything he now held dear in his life. At the same time, the possibility of his own demise still frightened him deeply as well. He decided that there likely would be no more sleeping tonight and he quietly left the bed so as not to disturb Belle. He proceeded down to the basement. Perhaps things would become more clear after spinning for a while.

~*~

"He did what?!" Greg exclaimed, as they walked along the darkened streets of Storybrooke.

"I'm surprised too...it was so blatant, which proves that they can't hide it. This town is lousy with magic," Tamara confirmed.

"He actually, like teleported you back to New York?" Greg asked in disbelief. She nodded.

"In a puff of smoke, I was suddenly at the top of the Empire State Building and in another puff of smoke, I was back in the diner. But that's not all I found out," she replied, as she pulled out a piece of paper.

"Neal made this for me to try and help me come to terms with this place," she said, as she handed him the piece of paper.

"He actually handed you their identities?" he asked with a snort.

"I know...he's making this too easy. But he trusts me," she replied.

"Snow White and Prince Charming?" he asked. She nodded.

"Emma Swan's parents. He's her deputy and her pixie haired mother is the new Mayor," she answered. He snorted again.

"And it gets better," she added.

"Does it? Did you send this to the Home Office?" he asked. She nodded.

"Already done...they're going to bursting at the seams to mobilize with all this information," she replied.

"What else did you find?" he asked.

"Well...this thirty degree weather isn't just an unfortunate cold snap from the remainder of winter. It's Persephone doing this. I overheard Snow White say her mother wasn't in a good mood today and that's why it's cold. Apparently her emotions can affect the weather; more evidence that magic is evil," Tamara informed.

"Wait...Snow White's mother is Persephone? As in Queen of the Underworld?" Greg asked. She nodded.

"Apparently so…" she responded.

"That wasn't in the Disney version," he joked.

"Wait...does that mean her father is Hades?" he asked. Tamara shrugged.

"I don't know...but Hades himself is here. It's the reason Persephone's mood is quite sour or so I heard," she replied.

"I knew this town was an abomination...but even more so than we thought," he mentioned.

"Don't worry...with this information, I'm certain the Home Office will soon be ready to make a move," she replied.

"Does Neal suspect anything?" Greg questioned.

"Not a thing," she confirmed.

"You're sure?" he questioned again.

"Don't worry about Neal...I'll handle him. Any luck finding your dad?" she asked. He shook his head.

"No...but I know he's here. I'm sure of it," Greg responded.

"We will find him," she assured.

"I know. But one thing at a time. Were you able to get the package here?" he asked. She nodded.

"I did...and we have a deal, but he went and complicated things," she replied.

"What do you mean?" Greg asked.

"I told him to be a nuisance, but he went a step further and got himself arrested. When the time comes, if we expect him to work for us, we'll have to break him out. That won't be easy with Emma Swan and her father running the Sheriff's station," Tamara replied. He smirked.

"Perhaps we'll have to create some distractions for them since our one handed friend isn't available," he responded. She smirked and kissed him.

"Good thinking…" she agreed.

"So now what?" he asked. She shrugged.

"We wait to hear from the Home Office. In the meantime, we can continue to search this town for your father," she replied, as he kissed her again and they headed back to the Inn.

~*~

Jefferson pulled back from looking through his telescope and was startled by what he had seen. He had been unknowingly keeping an eye on their visitor that had crashed into town. He didn't trust Greg Mendell and didn't like that he hadn't made his way out of town yet. And apparently his mistrust was warranted, in more ways than one. He needed to talk to Gold and David first thing in the morning. Because not only did their stranger, Greg Mendell, know this Tamara, but she was cheating on Neal with him. And he had been in this town long enough to know that it was likely there was even more to it than that. Even if there wasn't though, Neal still deserved to know that his fiance was obviously lying to him, probably about a great many things…

~*~

Morning dawned in Storybrooke, bringing about a new day. The April weather prevailed and the temperature was decidedly more tolerable that day, having risen twenty-five degrees already. Henry took that opportunity to fill Snow's bird feeders for her in the small garden, just outside the apartment building. He had an appreciation for the flora and fauna like she did, which should have been no surprise, given his roots and connection to Persephone.

"Good morning, Henry," Regina greeted.

"Um...what are you doing here?" the boy asked.

"I've missed you and I wanted to show you something," Regina replied, as she took something out of her pocket.

"Your family has been keeping this from you, darling. They've been growing magic beans in secret," she said. Henry shrugged.

"It's not really a secret. Gramps just said that we shouldn't tell people in case the beans don't grow. And anyway, I kind of guessed, because Tiny is here and he's a giant," Henry responded.

"So...they did tell you," she muttered.

"Yeah, but it's not a big deal. Mom Emma says that Storybrooke is our home now. And Grams and Gramps agreed with her. I think they just want to give other people a choice," Henry responded.

"Henry...I'm not sure you can trust that. With Hades here, your family may want to take you away. They may try to take you away and leave me behind," Regina said.

"No! That's not true! I asked them and they told me it was for others if they want to leave. Mom Emma said we might take a family trip to New York, but then we'd come home, here to Storybrooke," he refuted.

"But Henry...what about your home with me? What if we went somewhere together where they didn't see me as the Evil Queen? Think about it...I know how much you'd like to go back to the Enchanted Forest. We could do that together and start over," she said.

"Without the rest of my family?" he asked.

"I know it would be hard at first, but they will never see me as anything but the Evil Queen. I can't start over and be the hero that you want me to be with them," she replied. He shook his head.

"That's not true...Grams knows there is good in you, just like me. But you just keep hating her and trying to hurt her," he said in exasperation.

"Henry…she's the one that made me the Evil Queen," Regina insisted.

"No! You made yourself that, because you hurt people! But it's not too late! I know that if you really try to be good that they'll forgive you," he pleaded. Regina looked hurt.

"We don't need them, Henry. It can be good with just the two of us, just like before," she insisted.

"Why do you keep saying that? Are you planning something? Are you going to hurt everyone?" he asked. Another look of hurt passed over her features and she waved her hand over him to freeze him momentarily. With a quick spell, she extracted those memories from the last few minutes and erased them, before unfreezing him.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" Henry asked. She shrugged and smiled.

"I just came to say hello...I've missed you. Why don't you show me that bird feeder," she requested. Henry looked encouraged by her interest and then proceeded to show her.

#Snowing #SnowxCharming #Charming Family #Persephone #Rumbelle #Swanfire #Greg and Tamara #greek mythology meets farytales #Regina Mills #Henry Mills #romance #adventure #dreaming out loud

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askmyboys · 3 years

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M o r e characters (they aren’t related tho!)

I really should keep up with posting my characters when their done so oop- here y’all go enjoy a good man and a bastard (derogatory) | Name: Gordon Goodman

| Nicknames: Gord, Don, or Gordo

| Gender: He/Him and They/Them

| Age: 30

| Height: 8’2”

| Species/Race: Unknown

| Hair Color: Bubblegum Pink (his hair is usually in a man bun or a ponytail)

| Eye Color: Black (his eyes are literally like googly eyes, the pupils are usually in opposite spots of each other)

| Skin Color/Body Type: He’s pretty pale and he’s VERY lanky and to be honest it almost seems like he hasn’t got any bones in his body the way he can bend, stretch, etc (another thing to note, a lot of his body is just,, l e g s- bigem legs fdjksljfd)

| Appearance: His main outfit is literally a rainbow one, he’s got a rainbow suit on, pants to match and even somehow rainbow looking oxford shoes (he got ‘em custom made) and imma tell you rn it isnt a soft/light/pastel rainbow, its fuckin FULL ON burn your retinas bright- But… If your eyes are sensitive to bright colors he carries around a certain case (it’s got his other outfit that he prepared just in case someone’s eyes are too sensitive and hurt by bright colors) his secondary outfit is a light blue suit vest with a long sleeved light pink shirt underneath it, his pants also match the undershirt and his shoes are pink n blue oxfords (he does wear a pink n blue bowtie as well, it's much more soft light almost pastel colors tbh) They don’t have any inhuman features honestly, no fangs, nothing the only thing inhuman about them is the fact they seem so toon like and can do many things humans just cannot. He also doesn’t have a beard or any sorta facial hair either (hes babyfaced p much)

| Personality: I’ll be blunt, Gordon here is 100% a himbo, he’s super sweet, kind, caring but not very intelligent- he’s got a heart of gold and a smol brain (sometimes he can actually say some intelligent stuff but then like not even a few seconds later he won’t even remember saying any of that) despite being so lanky he seems to be VERY strong as he can pick up very heavy objects that a normal human couldn’t, he can also fit and squeeze into places most people couldn’t thanks to this ability, honestly there’s not much to him backstory wise, he didn’t have no traumatic past or any trauma really! Sure, I mean, there have been people who have been mean n awful to him BUT he still treated them kindly even then, he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body! Not cruel, not sadistic, not evil, none of that! He’s just a Goodman! (heh) a 10/10 boy

Who could do no harm to anyone, if they try to get physical with him he’ll legit just pick them up and hold them in a hug instead like “Shh! It’s okay, we don’t hafta fight…! I’m sure all ya need is a nice big hug!” but ye that’s about it for personality wise stuff.

| Side Facts: Likewise he has a lot of toon abilities, for an example- He has once pulled a flower out of his ear (which made his eyes rattle and roll around before falling back into place) and has handed it to someone, don’t worry the flower was as clean as it could be- It’s not only flowers though, he can pull anything out of his head essentially (bigger items though take a lot out of him and it’s a lot harder to pull those out so pls try to stick with smaller themed items) it’s not that he can’t because if he were determined enough he could pull something as big as a fucking sofa from his mind if he so desired ...but he’s never had to do that before- That’s p much his item summoning ability and how it’s done.

He’s super stretchy, flexible, and even moldable! He’s like a contortionist but probs without any limits whatsoever, he can bend, twist, etc- Hell, bc his body is mostly legs- He can legit without even having to balance on his hands just fall backwards to look at you, he usually has a grin on his face but with him it’s not spooky at all tbh- he’s just a bright, happy, outgoing and friendly dude! He loves to have a smile on his face but more importantly he loves to put a smile on others faces! Now that being said, he does understand sadness is a thing, anger, etc- And it can’t just magically go away, heck- while he doesn’t usually feel much anger- He does get sad sometimes himself! Even if he gives someone a hug, holds their hand, or anything he knows that won’t automatically make everything better or okay, he might be a himbo but if there’s ONE thing he understands it’s feelings and emotions ...Well he understands them to s o m e degree

He’ll be there for anyone who needs him though! If you want a hug he’ll wrap his arms around you! (if it's more of a snuggle, he’ll coil his arms around you ...pLEASE THO- remind him of how you have bones and your much more fragile than he bc he would never hurt anyone on purpose but that doesn’t mean he’s immune to accidents now does it?) or if you need someone to listen he’ll be happy to listen to you! If you need advice? ...H-He claims he’s not good at that but he has intelligent moments there sometimes but then he forgets what he says afterwards but he knows whatever happened it seemed like it helped so that makes him smile!

| Name: Darius Sullivan Gibson

| Nicknames: Dare, Sully, or Gibs

| Gender: He/Him

| Age: 39

| Height: 9ft (he IS hunched over a bit tho so he’d probs be 8’8” since he’s got them boots)

| Species/Race: uH- dEFINITELY NOT HUMAN FOR DAMN SURE

| Hair Color: Black (his hair has got a lil curly bit in front and that’s what I’ll give ya, a lil curly swirl jgfkdslfdj)

| Eye Color: Dark Green

| Skin Color/Body Type: Ghostly pale and he’s VERY large and wide, hims a BIG B I G man, this man is shaped like a fuckin B L O C K fghjdksljfhdk

| Appearance: His main outfit is a long black trench coat (a leather one) he usually doesn’t keep it buttoned either with a dark green turtleneck underneath it, he also wears a black ribbon tie and his pants match his turtleneck and he wears heeled black leather chelsea boots and he also wears a black cartwheel hat, he also wears fingerless gloves that match his turtleneck/pants. He has a fairly thick beard and sideburns (not really a long one but its just,, well, t h i c k) he has long pointed ears, multiple green tongues, some green tentacles (its that dark green shade, bright colors are b a d for him), and even a weird black tail that has a green fluffy bit at the end, and all his teeth are sharp but he has two particular sets of fangs top and bottom in his mouth that stand out more so than the rest of his teeth. And of course, he has sharp black claws as well (even though you can’t necessarily see it on his hands, his fingers are purely black, the best way to describe it is just pure dark energy lmao). And finally he doesn’t really have prominent scars but there’s scars LITTERED all across his body.

| Personality: Oof he’s baad, like- purely disgusting- literally tbh- He’s a smug, cocky, and arrogant bastard- He thinks EXTREMELY highly of himself, perhaps he has a God Complex even tbh- But also when I say he’s purely disgusting, this man smells like so many things and NONE of them are good- he’s also a murderer (it isn’t technically cannibalism but he does eat humans), he’s cruel, sadistic, and evil af- A bad bad slasher man, his favorite weapons are a cane, knives, or guns tbh- But then again those are just favorites- he’ll use ANYTHING he can as a weapon tbh, hell he’d pick up a random human and use them as a baseball bat to another- he’s also flirtatious but in a bad dark way, one example is he’ll flirt with you by literally stating how he’d love to just eat you up ...and you might think oh how sweet but um n o, he means it, just- come near him, stick your arm into his enclosure and see what happens hjfdksjdfks- you’ll be missing an arm-

Would easily use you like a lollipop tbh- oh god he’s gonna commit the b i t e of 87 hjfdkslkjdfs- he’s just, god he’s so awful- i wanna punch my own creation but he could easily defeat me and he would tbh, he’d be the one to challenge and fuckin kill god, there can be o n l y one fjkdclsjkd there is no tragic backstory btw, he’s straight up just a slasher, murders because he thinks its fun and everyone is so weak and pathetic compared to him!

There is no “befriending” this man, BUT… If he does grow “fond” of you then you’d more than likely be nothing more than a mere pet to him and nothing more or a possession even but if you're in his possession, a pet of his… You’ve definitely got the b e s t protection you could ever get in your life ...Well from ANYONE else, from him though? I mean, it's still risky, he IS a killer so just bear it in mind okay?

| Side Facts: Another thing he’d do, bc he smokes a LOT of cigars and I mean a l o t, he’ll legit bend down JUST so he can blow cigar smoke directly in your face, he also might put a cigar out using your head while also calling you a good little ashtray ...the more I talk about him the more I,, hate my own creation- i hate him purely and wholeheartedly

He lives in a place called Shademoor City and more specifically on a street called Brinewood, his street is definitely one for the not so nice ones of the city, like the further you go and closer you get to Brinewood St the more grotesque and nasty everything looks, and his “home” well it’s sorta more like a hideout area- He probs does have a mansion somewhere bc he uh he I S a rich man, what he did/might be doing to earn said money? ...Eh don’t worry about it- but if he does that mansion is EXTREMELY far away from Brinewood Street.

He’s more so a night owl but very rarely will you actually see him in the daylight, the nighttime is just the easiest to strike at, after all- it's so easy to hide within the shadows, hide in the alleyways and wait for unsuspecting prey to walk by.

He has a black cane with a skull on top of it and fun fact, it’s not just a cane haha fuck youuu!! Its also a SWORD B I T C H! (to him, swords are just bigger and fancier knives, either way, it still kills the victim!)

#my ocs #original characters #Gordon Goodman (a good man!)#Darius Sullivan Gibson (Bastard: Derogatory)#my own characters #ocs

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wishingfornever · 6 years

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10/17/17 – Extensive Contact: Moving On

Series of dreams again. First, Dennis wanted to apologize. I told him I couldn’t forgive him after what he did to you, Jeremiah, Shane, Daniel, and literally EVERYONE else. He hasn’t learned his lesson. I told him if he were truly sorry, that’d he’d fix things and become more honest. And he did. Then I woke up and realized it was just a dream.

Drat. I don’t recall the second one but the third was really interesting. I can’t remember what it was. None of us were in it (except for myself, and even that was a strong maybe). I remembered it when I woke up but several hours have passed since then. It’s weird I remember the first dream more than the last.

Ah, well.

Anyways, Max is ridiculous. He looks it and he was sleeping in the bed next to me this morning. Someone pushed the door bell and then he LOST HIS GOD DAMNED MIND!!! It was great. Except for the fact that he really needed to pee so I let him out.

I think I may have slept 12 hours last night. I woke up far later than I thought I would. I haven’t slept that well the last few days, so I guess I was just getting my sleep back. I’ve been leaving my computer downstairs so I’m not in bed when I’m on it. I think it’s easier to write when sitting down at a desk, sort of. Not really a desk, more a movable tray for food so you can get fat and watch TV.

Regardless, I wrote most of my book like this, actually. Was on a table at the place I house sat at. I got a lot done there. I’ll get a lot done today. Adela was trying to make a plan as to how to sweep this floor. I just told her I’d do it today. I think I’ll have to get to it soon, tbh. I’d like to eat first.

She was super bummed yesterday. She’ll appreciate my help.

Do you remember when we were playing with the gate? As people opened it, we’d close it immediately after? I was super concerned that someone would crash into it. But it was so funny. You have a cute sadistic laugh. And you loved the pizza.

I’ve been meaning to order a pizza but whenever I consider it, I just kind of get… sad. I missed having pizza with you. Perhaps we can again sometime, even if it’s just as friends. As I was thinking of you, my phone buzzed. Initial thought was it was you texting me, but it was just an email. I got a lot of spam nowadays.

Anyways, remember the enigma? I proposed another allegory focusing on punishment or salvation. It’s a religious allegory that hasn’t been spotted yet. I asked Daniel to copy and paste because most of his friends are Christian and haven’t ignored his posts. Thus, he’ll have more responses.

I suspect that the more Christian the person, the more they’d say punish over salvation which is Ironic because some protestants say you need to accept Jesus as your savior to get into heaven and you can be forgiven of your sins because… reasons. It’ll give them a chance to confront their biases despite their beliefs.

I SUCK at proportions. I tried making myself a breakfast sandwich and it looked like a shitty salad covered in veggies with a piece of bread on it. Like… no egg anywhere, but there were two. I promise there were two.

Just walked Max. I think some neighbors were arguing about dogs. One of their dog was off a leash and I had to carry Max a bit. They were across the street from one another so I hope it’s not too bad. I just felt a bit awkward. :/

I remembered more of the first dream. I asked you about your money situation and you told me you were fine. I asked how much left and you said 400. You were doing something to get extra money which I said, “Oh, yeah! That’s smart!” while thinking, “That’s dumb.” I can’t remember what you were doing but it wasn’t that good or viable. Like a trickle of income. When you spoke, you sounded like you did when you came over the first time to pick up your things and I showed you the contract. When we spoke, you sounded like you felt guilty with yourself.

I’ve been wanting to ask you. Why didn’t you leave when I wanted to go that night? When I asked you to come with me, you refused. Why? Maybe I should have stayed. Things probably would have ended better between us. If I just ignored everything. But, I was drunk and emotional. Maybe it showed. Could you blame me for being upset? Discovering my friend was telling you that I didn’t care about you? Flirting with you? Just bullshit. Again, that’s not what friends do but I was the fool. I thought he was my friend when he wasn’t. He’s not anyone’s friend. It took him supporting your beliefs rather than respecting our relationship for me to see it. One night, while we were drinking he told me he would never infringe on our relationship and he was super happy for me. He said he didn’t have a crush on you and the only friend of mine he had a crush on was Krystal. He said I had NOTHING to fear with him but I should be worried about Daniel. It was weird, I didn’t know why he was telling me this, but I thanked him. I trusted him. Seems I was wrong to.

You don’t understand, Esther. You don’t understand what he has said, what he has done just to do this. It’s why I don’t blame you. It’s why I haven’t just given up on you.

You know, Shane told me before I apologized to Dennis for invading his privacy that Dennis and I will look back and laugh at this. Later, he told me I shouldn’t even try to associate with Dennis anymore. I can’t help but wonder what he’s been saying about me that’d make Shane change his mind so drastically. Like… I’ve done nothing wrong to Dennis, beyond discovering him sabotaging our relationship.

Daniel just messaged me. I’m excited. He has like TEN times the amount of friends I have and they’re mostly local. Being in Susanville, a lot of the people who’ll comment are super christian. Thus, I’ll be more able to reach my target demographic through his page than my own. I’m super excited. :D

Daniel is taking his time to get back to me. I can’t even wait.

Anyways, I realized something a couple days ago and I forgot to mention it. If WE end up getting back together and we live in Spain and somehow have a daughter named Cynthia, her name would be pronounced Thynthia by everyone she meets because Spain has that dumb lisp. I HATE that lisp.

Of course, the odds of that happening are pretty low.

Now I’m pissed. I went to your Twitter and saw Dennis’s hands on you in one of your posts. What a piece of shit. I see you’re still chewing your nails, though. Can’t be that good to you. And you’ve finally face revealed. You’re getting reckless. I suppose you don’t care since all you’re doing is smoking pot.

I hate Dennis. He’s a fat, lying piece of shit.

That said, because you’re doing nothing but smoke pot, you’re going to be in a difficult situation soon. Of course, if I offer to help, you’ll turn me away. Fuck it. I really shouldn’t care. You’ve moved on so quickly. Moved on to someone who is using you.

But that’s fine. You don’t mind being used.

The thing is, it’s easier for women to move on rather than men. They did studies and after a breakup, men tend to dwell longer than women. Blame my genetics.

I broke something. On accident. Admittedly, I was upset when I did, but it was still an accident. I knocked over that dumb metal table by the couches. I want to message you. I won’t, of course, but I’ll message you by the end of the month. I know you’ll be okay, but I just want to let you know that you’re being an idiot. I’ll also let you know some of the dumb things Dennis has said.

Like… you really are being an idiot right now. I don’t want to call you stupid because I know you have a great mind. You just NEVER use it. I just want you to think. That’s why I got you into NationStates. So you can work on your critical thinking.

Everything, I got you in? It was for you. Even the dumb fucking parties. You said you didn’t have any friends, so here are some of mine. I guess some of my friends just happened to be more like the friends you knew.

I’m frustrated that I can’t help you. Dennis should be scared of me. Right now, I’d slap the fucking shit out of him. Then again, I have never hit him out of anger before. God, he needs it. I wish you could see what he’s done from my perspective. I guess this will help, assuming you get past all the times I just called him a piece of shit and continued talking about something else.

Dennis is a poor Harvey Wienstien without the charm.

I can’t help but think about that post, calling pot the opiate of the proletariat. It wasn’t about you because I never considered you a Communist. However, it should DEFINITELY apply to you now. Pot is such a benign drug, too. Yet… you’re spending all this money on it?

I guess you’re doing porn again. That’s some income, but it won’t be enough.

I know what you’d say after reading this. “The fact that you’re angry means you’re not over it.” Maybe I’m not. Fuck you for expecting me to just get over it. You were such a condescending bitch before it all ended, it’s a miracle I wasn’t over it sooner.

But, of course, I’m the reason you’re in this mess. All I want to do is help you, regardless of your condescending nature. I REALLY shouldn’t. Everyone thinks you’re either really dumb or you’re a whore. Shane said you were a whore and that he didn’t want you in the trailer to begin with because you were baggage.

I’m tired of defending you. But I can’t just agree with them.

I’m not trying to be your guardian angel. I really want to send you back to North Carolina. At least your mom would take care of you. When you came here, you couldn’t have been more appreciative. You were so happy. You said I saved your life. Well, I can’t save it now. Not that you’ll die, but things will get harder for you.

I don’t want to see you get hurt.

Ah, well. I’ll be sure to talk about how much I care about my ex not getting hurt to that hole I punched in the wall. I wish I had your apathy. Or maybe the secret to keeping you was to lie to your face. I should have told you that I was a liar, should have said so from the start so you’d trust me regardless. After all, I told you I was a liar. I let you in, so now I won’t lie to you. I trust you so you would trust me too.

If you want to fool the world, tell the truth.

Now that I see you and Dennis are being “more than friends” the blog will probably be taken down soon. I should probably save everything you said before that happens. We’ll see. Thank you for leaving it up. Despite everything, that was the one bit of compassion that actually helped me through the dark times.

Thank you for that bit of mercy.

Anyways, I’m going to write. I was going to watch a video on Youtube but I decided no. I was too angry and I wouldn’t have cared for it. Later.

You bitch. You removed me from Skype, too. Just the better. I was contemplating messaging you. Why are you removing me from everything though? Why do you hate me so much? Just checked. You removed me on Steam, too. Remove me from everything. You don’t want to talk to me anymore.

See why I think you hate me? I knew it’d be like this. Why are you removing me from everything?

You messaged me. You seemed pretty stern. You were surprised to discover I was still talking to Shane. I was surprised he was still talking to Dennis.

We were pretty upset. I asked for one night to talk to you. You granted that. Considering this is going on Tumblr now sometime next year, I guess I’ll make a transcript and then go to bed.

Stephen: Hey. I know you don’t want to talk to me right now, but I need to ask you something. Then I can disappear forever I’d you’d like.

Stephen: If, not I’d.

Stephen: I know you’re getting this. I know you’re awake, too. Listen, I was never mean to you or Dennis. I get that you don’t want to see me again. That’s fine.

Stephen: I also know that you said you didn’t want to go to Texas because you’re afraid of me for some reason. Shane told me that you begged Dennis not to go, either.

Stephen: That’s a little extreme. Dennis is giving up a potential career for you. But fine, maybe he’s scared of me, too. Told Shane he wasn’t but Shane rolled his eyes.

Stephen: I never messaged you as you requested until now. Why are you blocking me and removing me everything? I’m not asking you for anything.

Stephen: What did I do that lead to this?

Stephen: After tonight, you can ignore me forever. I’ll be fine with that. Just give me this one night and I’ll be gone, no questions asked.

Esther: You’re still talking to Shane?

Stephen: Yes.

Stephen: Not right now, I think he went to bed.

Esther: I’m removing you because I’m done. I’m moving on. And I want you to move on too. I’m not afraid of you. I want that part of my life that included you to be concluded.

Stephen: Why wouldn’t I? Since I discovered Dennis didn’t want that job, we tried getting Jeremiah to go. Btw, I asked Dennis multiple times if he asked Jer if he wanted to go. He said yes but it was the first time he heard it when we offered it to him. Moving on? Is that the only reason?

Esther: Yes. That’s it. I’m done. Life is too short to drag on unnecessary things.

Stephen: Fine, move on. You didn’t have to remove me from everything. I respected your wishes and stopped talking to you. It was unnecessary.

Esther: I don’t have to explain myself to you.

Esther: And you were mean. You can’t hurt someone and say that you didn’t just because you don’t see it.

Stephen: You don’t. You’re right. So, I’ll explain myself to you. I still have feelings for you and I know you have them for me. But we both know we won’t get back together. We’re adults and removing one another is petty. When I flew here, Shane told me that I should block both of you and move on and that he wasn’t going to let Dennis or you move in with him. I told him he should give Dennis another chance and he shouldn’t punish Dennis for something that happened between us. Dennis kept running his mouth to Shane and when he was told that you asked Dennis to stay there, he said “That’s it.” Everyone deserves a second chance. I thought leaving the lines open… that was my second chance. Even though we’re no longer lovers, we could still be friends. I was a great friend to Dennis.

Stephen: I’m sorry I was mean. I’d tell you I’ve changed, but it wouldn’t matter.

Esther: “Removing one another is petty” like you removed/blocked Dennis? Lol, I don’t have feelings for you. It’s unnecessary to leave a line of communication open when I have no plans of using it. That’s why I removed you.

Stephen: I didn’t block him immediately. Then I unblocked him. I gave him the means to reach out to me. Check for yourself, he can message me on Facebook whenever he wants. I wanted him to know he’s done me harm and just talk to me, but he avoids me. During this entire affair, I was the only one who actually apologized.

Esther: Stephen, I don’t care anymore. This is over. I’ve made up my mind.

Stephen: I see that. I get it. Just know that I treated you poorly. I should have been a better boyfriend. You deserved that much. Before I go, how are you on funds?

Esther: Thanks for the heads up, btw. I had no idea Shane was telling you all this stuff. We were going to fly out on the 29th. You saved us a lot of trouble.

Stephen: You weren’t flying out, though. I know because Shane is going to Arizona.

Stephen: Did Shane tell you that?

Esther: He didn’t get the job. That’s what he told us, anyways.

Esther: My funds are my business.

Stephen: He told me today he was going to Arizona. I asked because I was trying to help Jer.

Stephen: And you are, technically, my business. Your mom asked me to watch over you. I’m doing a bad job, admittedly. I take it you don’t have your GED or DL yet.

Stephen: In fact, he told me he hasn’t spoken to Dennis since he was told you guys were staying.

Esther: Alright, look. This conversation is ending. I’m done. Look, Shane has been lying to the both of us like crazy. If I were you, I wouldn’t trust him. But you do you. He said he didn’t get the job in Arizona and talked shit about you a lot. Said he wasn’t talking to you at all. Good luck.

Stephen: Esther, Shane isn’t a liar. Speak to him yourself on Skype. I’ll give you his number.

Esther: I have his number. You don’t have to think he’s a liar. Good luck with that one. Idec.

Esther: *she sends a screen shot, showing a conversation between Shane and Dennis*

Stephen: Fine. I hope he was lying to me and Dennis does get to Texas on the 29th. This will be the last time we speak unless you decide otherwise. Good bye, Esther. I always loved you.

Esther: We aren’t going to Texas. Dennis and I are staying. It’s just proof that Shane lied… to all three of us. Me and Dennis were both going to go on the 29th until you messaged me with info I only discussed with Shane while he was saying he wasn’t talking to you.

Stephen: Seems there are a lot of liars in my old clique. I’m sorry.

Stephen: Anyways, try to have a nice life. I’m wishing you the best, even if I’m not in it. Later.

Esther: I wish you the best too. I really do.

Stephen: Heh… you’re kind. That was one of the best things about you.

-------End-------

As you can tell, I’m not very good at good byes. Fuck. Fucking god dammit, Tumblr. This sucks. This really sucks. Esther is probably lying about them not going anymore. Which is fine, didn’t expect them to anyways obviously.

Fuck, I really don’t want to talk to you Tumblr. I really don’t. I want to talk to Esther.

Well… I’m crying right now. Current time is 1:32. Current time for Esther is 11:32. This feels weird. Should I still keep going? Like… do I need a journal? It’s helped. It really has. It’s helping now. I need an outlet for my frustration and… this is it.

Telling her to go to Tumblr will prove problematic, but fuck it. When it gets to that point, I’ll let her know. Since I’m not no longer talking to Esther, allow me to explain everything that just happened. Step by step.

When I said I wasn’t mean to her or Dennis, I guess my mean is different than hers. Hers is probably more accurate. Dennis and I… we go way back. Used to ride the same bus in middle school. He hated me at first, but I’m a tumor. I grew on him and we were friends in high school. After high school, we did a lot together.

Whenever I had to do a dump run, I was sure to bring him or Jeremiah. Then we’d get food afterwards. I always paid.

I went out of my way to help Dennis. I knew he had some serious issues and I supported him best I could. I’d bust his balls a bit and call it a day. It’s guy stuff. He certainly busted mine. I remember the first time I went to Texas, I posted a short thing about how I was eating KFC alone and how much I missed my wingman. That wingman was Dennis. I loved him.

Being mean to him and Esther. For Esther, I was kind of rough with her. I’m very strong and I had a tendency to hurt her on accident. As I said, I never hurt her out of anger. Of course, some of my humor with her was physical. That sometimes ended up hurting. Hurting enough for her to think I was mean. Maybe I was.

Would I call myself abusive? Idk, maybe. I’m sure you’re thinking I was abusive. Again, I didn’t think I was hurting her, hence why she said I didn’t see it. I don’t think I was abusive. I was just far too rough.

Anyways, back to the introduction. I was feeding a lie myself when I said she asked Dennis to stay. Shane told me they were BOTH afraid of coming to Texas because I was here. Thus, I twisted it a bit to get her to see Dennis’s messages. That was my goal there. Seems there was more to it than that.

I forgot to ask her why she didn’t go with me that first night… Fuck.

I ended with she can ignore me forever after this. I know her and she’ll only respond if she has to. When she forgot something, I had to send her a picture to get her to respond for example. Otherwise, it’s a waste of time. I’m… a waste of time. I guess she said that, didn’t she?

Whatever. Her response didn’t tip me off that something was up. I thought she thought I was talking to him now. Still kind of weird to ask.

When asking her why and after receiving an answer, I continued to pester by asking if that was the only reason. It’s because I suspect she was withholding information from me. She isn’t a liar, but she’ll do that. When she’s uncomfortable, she’ll only give as much information needed. Especially if some of that information can lead to a volatile response.

She tries not to be confrontational. So, I guess me talking to her is something new. I’m not afraid of confrontation. I don’t like it, but I’ll definitely do it. Especially when it’s necessary.

When I said she had feelings for me… that was a reference to our blog called 11.30.2016. It’s called that because she uses periods instead of slashes for dates. Oh, and that was when our relationship began. Almost a year ago from this post. I guess almost two years for you. It’s the reason I’m writing this. I use slashes, of course, because I’m not a barbarian. The password is “ThatCanBeArranged” to see it. Good luck, though. It’s probably already taken down. I’ll be sure to let you know when it’s taken down.

Looking back at the conversation with her, him telling me to block them both was probably his attempt to try to fix things between us. Give both sides time before we can be friends again. I’ll give Shane the benefit of the doubt. I’ll let you know if anything happens between us, too.

The lines open being my second chance… that was probably not that honest. I didn’t have a second chance. I just didn’t want to sound desperate by saying, “Whenever I see your face, it gives me hope.” She wouldn’t have wanted to hear that.

When I said I changed in response to her saying I was mean. Yeah. I really have changed. This is when I need a second chance. But, as I said… it wouldn’t matter.

When I blocked Dennis… I didn’t block him until later. I removed him from EVERYTHING to let him know he fucked up. Then I apologized for invading his privacy. Shane told me to. So… I did. He told me that I was being ultra petty and we’d look back on it and laugh. I tried giving Dennis a second chance that he didn’t deserve. All he could say was, “I don’t know what to say.” That’s it. He didn’t engage or anything. That’s when I blocked him.

Shane told me to do it in person but Esther wouldn’t let me. At the time I posted something saying how I should kick his ass but I wasn’t going to (that’s literally how it ends: I won’t because it won’t make me happy). The entire premise was wanting something over something that’d make you happy. For example, I WANT Esther but it wouldn’t make me happy. That’s a lie, because I would treasure the fuck out of her. She would make me happy, but that’s just an example.

Anyways, I ended up unblocking him so he had a line of communication to contact me in the unlikely event that he wants to try to fix things between me and him. Esther, of course, said Dennis did nothing wrong. She doesn’t understand men. She doesn’t understand guy’s with their friends. He’s supposed to be supportive of our relationship. If Jeremiah were the one she’d vent to, he’d tell her to “Calm down. Things aren’t that bad and they can be fixed.” He wouldn’t have said that I stopped caring for her and then started flirting with her.

Anyways, the idea of unnecessary lines of communication open… That is total bullshit. She was most likely concerned that I was trying to reach her through Daniel. Shane told me that Daniel has been telling Dennis stuff, and he has. Daniel… unfortunately, has sided with his brother. That’s predictable. Daniel cares about his family, even if Dennis doesn’t care about him.

Trust me when I say he doesn’t. Jealous brother sort of thing.

Anyways, I told her to check so she’d see Dennis’s messages and see some of the lying shit he’s been doing. I pointed out that I was the only one who ever apologized and she didn’t care. Her saying this is over… I don’t know. I wasn’t trying to get her back. I think she thought I was maybe?

When I said she deserved more, yeah. That’s totally true. When I asked about her finances, that was shortened to funds because my phone is dumb and has a limited amount of characters it can send and it’s smaller than a tweet. Gets shorter with special characters. If you look back, I’ve added punctuation and merged certain messages, so that’ll be why some are longer than others.

Most of what I was telling her was me trying to get her to doubt Dennis. I’ll talk to Shane, maybe it’s Dennis who is lying to her. What she sent for a screen shot was taken by a phone showing Dennis’s computer. Obviously, Dennis was a part of this conversation.

I should have called. Of course, harder to get a transcript that way but it’d prevent too much interference from Dennis. It’s always possible I was talking to Dennis, too.

Her telling me her finances are her business, that’s totally true. It’s a random response. Thing is, I know she’s losing money because of all the pot. For those who don’t know what a GED and a DL is, GED is a high school diploma equivalent and a DL is a driver’s license. I know she didn’t get it because the 29th was when she was leaving.

When I said I hope he wasn’t lying to me and Dennis goes to Texas, that was more me just being spiteful. I’d prefer if he didn’t, honestly. After all he’s done, I’m tired of his shit. He deserves to not get money for anything.

Saying there are a lot of liars in my old clique was just me referencing Dennis.

Finally, when I told her I wished her the best, I genuinely meant it. And when she told me she wished me the best? I know she meant that.

Esther is a kind and gentle soul. Since this is going straight to Tumblr, I’d prefer you to not call her a whore or a dumb bitch, despite what I’ve called her. She acts stupid… so you can call her stupid. Just know, she’s smarter than she seems. Right now has been a terrible example, but she learns quick. Very attentive. Just gullible. She’s a learner, unfortunately, so she’ll believe everything she’s told.

It’s not her fault. She’s young and beautiful but gullible and surprisingly stubborn. Bad time for me to say, “Don’t shit on Esther!” I probably won’t manage the comment section because I won’t know how to run it or manage it, so expect anarchy where you get to speak. She’s a good person. I’m not saying this because I still love her but because I know her.

She has a good heart. I promise.

Anyways, seems she hasn’t deleted the blog yet. I’m concerned about that because she had a blog with her ex and deleted it sometime during our relationship. As much as it pains me, Dennis and her are now a thing. I hope their relationship fails, because I’m petty. I’m probably not going to be her shoulder to cry on because Esther is proud. She probably also won’t want me to try to get back with her.

Probably smart.

The last post she posted on the blog… June Second. The summer killed my relationship. Fucking hell.

Ah, well. If it’s not time to move on, it’s at least time for bed. I’ve wiped my own tears and it’s 2 in the morning. For those worried the blog is going to end soon, I guess it won’t. Not for a while at least. I don’t know how long it’ll last. I’m no longer talking to Esther… I mean, I didn’t expect her to read this but now that I know for certain that she won’t. That changes. It’s weird. Like three fourths of me said she wouldn’t but that last fourth said, “Who knows?”

Well… I know. I now know. And it sucks.

Esther was the best thing that ever happened to me. I took her for granted. Honestly, I’m legitimately feeling suicidal but I won’t try anything. The only thing that’d could potentially kill me right now is if I jumped out my window. And even then, I’d probably just bounce. Everything from here will be considered a part of yesterday despite being past midnight.

I love you, Esther. Good night. Good bye.

#breakup #slice of life #frustration #depression #getting over it #moving on #journal #a year ago today

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