#(I guess this isn’t NEW I liked JTHM as a kid. but i rly am not. a gore person.

[heylinfanclub]

Just watched something horrific and felt like it unlocked some part of me. IDUNNO IF ITS GOOOOOD. hfjsjsh maybe. Maybe it is.

#me. #(I was just talking about how I fear my anger cause it’s dangerous #(but I know it’s linked to passion and protectivity and love sometimes #(but sometimes you play a game and ur like wow. what a nice lil outlet. I’m horrified. but I feel GREAT. what a mix. #(my PASSIONS get tied up into OBSESSIONS and needing CONTROL #(so playing a game bout people who are also. existential and obsessive and maybe they do get a lil violent. #(is very cathartic #(I think for a long time I’ve been scared of ANY PHYSICAL OUTLETS for anger #(this is kind of a mental one I guess #(and man I’m not even mad I’m teehee gritting my teeth kicking my feet clenching my fists #(such a happy anger??? weird. I think I’m a sadist sometimes but I could never hurt somebody willingly. #(I was a mean kid and I never wanna be that bad again. #(but that doesn’t mean I can’t find a healthy outlet! in!!! fucking yandere games??? #(not the simulator made by That Guy but just. some random games. and stories. whew #(just the occasional mostly horror visual novel that u sometimes get to kiss the killer in sighhhhhhhssss #(I guess this isn’t NEW I liked JTHM as a kid. but i rly am not. a gore person. #(I like the psychological horror and the relation to being in a headspace where u feel. too intense. constantly. and feel. NUTS. #(cause that’s a personal horror I live in and playin in that space without the repercussions of real life 👏🏻 #(also cause recently trying to describe my attraction to people nonsexually I was like #(‘I wanna pin that guy to my wall’ ‘wow’ ‘no I mean like a bug’ #(PRETTY PEOPLE FEEL LIKE ART TO ME. the urge is to keep them and look at them. #(not rly. anything else. #(which is ofc unreasonable but it’s a feeling I HAVE and it’s cool when a character says similar #(even if they are the villain hfkdd #(I also wanna make visual novels so I’m kinda tempted to take my own shot as something dark #(just to see what I can doOooo #(and cause I wanna get out that idea of a person who wanna keep people like art. aroace yandere when. #ask to tag:/ #(idk everything weirds IN the tags so)