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#(literally what I look like in my he/him bio hehe)
bambisnc · 3 months
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birthday surprise ₊˚.
pairing : taehyun x reader genre : flufffff w a cute wrapping of crack <3 cw/tw : ty panics a lil bit + beomgyu is made to do labour /j + minor swearing + use of caps wc : 783 w (wrote this in one sitting a day before my bio prac hehe) notes : HO LEE SHIT i'm having exams still but ugh how could i not write a lil soemthing for tyun my lil boba eyed bee eff's birfhday 😍🫶 (posting this as soon as it's 00.00 on 5th by my timezone)
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when you act super distant with taehyun around a week before his birthday, he’s confused. about your behavior, of course but also his own. he's not like this, he's the rational one, the one with the braincell so why is he overthinking this so much? you're probably just planning something for his special day, he knows that but.. he can't help but feel paranoid.. what if he’s just being conceited in thinking so? what if something's seriously wrong??
then just 3 days before the awaited day you call him up sounding all worried - saying there's an emergency and you have to leave asap and he's left reeling with shock. what do you mean an emergency?? is there a problem at work or at your uni? or worse, did something happen to someone in your family-? he can’t focus at all, practice, meetings with the manager, even his sleep is completely consumed by thoughts of you (though that’s.. not really new~)
and then it's finally the eve of the much, much awaited day. he really wasn't expecting anything, opting instead for an early night. his members were seemingly busy with a "project", which was highly suspicious and should’ve immediately raised alarm, is what he would say if you asked him later and you know, he would've caught onto it right then but busy schedules added to the constant worry about all the upcoming events and ofc you had dulled his senses considerably
but at 11.51 sharp, as if on cue, he hears his shrill ringtone from where it is kept next to his bed. it's beomgyu.
“taehyun, dude”, he says, “there's um,.. an issue. uh, yeah no it's a huge problem. we need everyone in the practice room like right now.” by now of course, taehyun did feel pretty sure of the fact that his members had something planned.. i mean “an issue at the practice room”? c'mon that was a classic, he'd literally used that same line on yeonjun's birthday last year. he’s about to let beomgyu know of this but then he hears their manager in the background.. shit okay, maybe there's actually something wrong? briefly affirming that he’ll be there, he haphazardly dresses and makes his way to the practice room...
...only to find the room dark, as he opens the door and walks in, extremely wary of his surroundings. making his way to the light switches he soon discovers emptiness. the room was completely empty. what the fuck.
he honestly felt so dazed, he couldn't help but just sit himself on the couch, somewhere between wondering if this was a dream and if not wondering why his members chose to inflict such weird pranks (?) upon him. he remains there for a good 45 ish minutes before he hears the unmistakable sound of footsteps and people, whispering in a way that was not quiet at all.
"shit why're the lights already on??" "oh yeah i called taehyun and told him to come down!!" "what. beomgyu we haven't set up anything. the cake is literally in my hands right now. you're literally holding the decorations??" "oh. huh." "gyu holy shit how could you not know????" "I SWEAR TO GOD." "guys shut up we can still salvage this if we just-"
and taehyun finds himself face to face with a shocked huening kai, an extremely guilty-looking beomgyu, you with so much disappointment adorning your face that one would think this was your surprise party being ruined and rather furious looking soobin and yeonjun.
i'm sure you can picture how the rest of the "surprise" party went. taehyun making some colorful, weirdly specific yet affectionate threats to everyone, you especially - having him worrying over nothing for a whole week, how could you?! he discovers that their manager had been persuaded by all of you to record a little audio clip you could play over call, just to make taehyun a little extra worried and a little less suspicious. well. at least, that definitely worked out huh?
but later when he has his arm around you as you cut the cake into delicate slices and beomgyu attempts to decorate the whole room single handedly, as was chosen to be his punishment, with the rest of his members, offering birthday wishes, sharing past anecdotes of various such mishaps (and it is undoubtable that there were a lot), laughing and playing about, he can't help but think maybe he prefers this more than he would a "perfect" surprise.
next year though, as he tells each of you multiple times, he'd rather it not be a surprise at all. with a smile that quite clearly said that it was very much not up for debate.
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[check out my masterlist for more <3]
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fortheloveofowen · 8 months
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Luke Patterson College Au
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Summary: Just some Luke college! This is more or less if Luke was in college NOW lol IDK if that makes sense, but just pretend it does
Warnings: Man-whore Luke (I eat it up), mentions of sex, mentions of drug use/alcohol use, I'm in love with Luke I'm so delulu
Note: I am literally just working, and I'm bored so typing this on my work computer :) I hope you guys like this one, I've been wanting to make a Luke college au so so badly ;) Also guys I dropped out of college soooo living vicariously through this rn
𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩
Major: Childhood Education
Minor: Music Composition
Was on the hockey team freshman and sophomore year, but quit once his band started getting booked
Can't y'all just see him as the cutest little elementary school music teacher like showing his students his guitar and talking about when he was in a band awww
Luke and Alex definitely have a shared house off-campus and they like throw parties like it's nobody's business
Definitely tried to join Alex's comic book club, but was quickly kicked out because he spilled soda on Reggie's collector's edition of the original Spiderman comics
"Dude, do you know how expensive this was? Like, for real?"
Luke is definitely known as somewhat of a player around campus and pretty much everyone knows who he is. He can usually be found with his tongue down a random girls throat
But, that's what college is about for him duh
He never wanted to go in the first place, but when his parents put that check in his lap to send him to school what else could he do? Especially when his buddy, Bobby, told him about all the hot chicks running around campus
So how do you meet Mr. Luke? Well, you were couped up in the library preparing for this god awful Bio final that has been stressing you to the point of pulling your hair out when you hear some.... children's laughter???
You look to the main double-door entrance and see a gaggle of children that can't be more than 5 or 6 years old barreling through the doors
And what shocked you most was... Luke Patterson leading this wild pack of children into the building??? I guess you had just never taken interest in what his major is or really anything about him, so you couldn't be too sure what his intentions were
A quiet Luke puts up a finger to his lips and begins counting down from 10, attempting to shush the kids he was directing
"Hey guys, can we quiet down please, we can't be too loud in the library! shhhhh"
And you're like is he soft? and good with kids? Definitely not soft (or so you think right now hehe), but he is great with kids
The kids are shuffling around the library, giggling at the pages in the anatomy books while Luke sits at a nearby table
"Are they bothering you? I knew it was a bad idea to bring them here, but I-I-It's about to rain... had no idea where else to take them..."
And you're just like huh? Because one, why is he talking to you, and two, this is not the same douchebag player you thought you knew. But, you end up telling him that they're fine and you continued studying until your roommate, Julie, asked if you wanted to meet up for dinner
You don't end up seeing Luke for a while after the first meet, and you had long let him disappear from your thoughts
That is until your friend Flynn decides to drag you to a party to "celebrate" finals being over (Even though you'd rather be couped up in your room rewatching Scooby Doo if you were being honest)
The house wasn't anything too crazy, donned with LED lights and some old beer cans strewn across the porch
You had been drinking with Flynn for a while, the fresh smell of marijuana and vomit stinging your nose as you waltzed around the house
Your bladder quickly caught up with you, though, as you excused yourself from Flynn for a second to find a pisser because you know you can't hold your pee while you're drunk
So, you're bobbing around sticking your head into pretty much every single room when you finally come across a door at the end of the hallway
You turn the door handle, astonished to find it unlocked, but you let yourself in and...
There's Luke... hands under a tiny blonde girl's shirt as he kissed up and down her neck
"Oh my god, I can... I am so sorry let me just go!"
You shout almost too eager as you swiftly slam the door and make your way back downstairs, ready to tell Flynn the shit you just walked into
But, alas, your friend is sitting on the couch with Reggie, one of Luke's closest friends, you've come to find out so you averted your attention to the kitchen
It was quiet in here, other than the small bits of banter going on around you in the almost empty kitchen
You stared into your cup of whatever concoction Flynn had made you when you're startled by a sudden presence to your left
"Hey, you're the girl from the library right? Sorry about uhhh... the bathroom sitch.... just doing my civil duty haha"
Luke slurred out as he hoisted himself onto the kitchen counter beside you
You nod your head, not really trying to engage with his "type"
"You wanna dance? Everyone else here is so boring..."
You and Luke head out to the living where masses of people were dancing along to whatever rap song was blaring over the speaker
Luke instinctively holds you by the waist as you sway the entire night, especially when you sway to his bedroom and then to his bed and then.... you get the picture
And Luke took care of you that night, kissing your shoulders, looking into your eyes as he kissed up your stomach bro omg I am getting ahead of myself
But, anyways, you wake up and immediately feel TONED HANDSOME arms around your waist and you're like??? because this is definitely not your bed and who is this man?
Your eyes peak out over the covers and you have the biggest "oh fuck" moment of your life because YOU JUST SLEPT WITH LUKE PATTERSON
So, without thinking you swiftly jump up out of bed and search around his room for your clothes, but not before you're interrupted by a groan and a yawn coming from the bed
"Shit..."
You mutter under your breath as Luke peers at you through hooded lids
When did he become so beautiful and why the hell hadn't you realized until now??
"Good morning to you too... You're leaving already? Didn't enjoy the show?"
He wiggles his eyebrows at you are you're like oh... my... god I gotta get out of here so you scurry off without much of a goodbye, but not before Luke puts his number into your phone
This goes on for a while, you sneaking over to his house, sleeping in his bed, waking up in his arms, and then spending the morning talking and eating breakfast. But, no lovely-dovey shit... ever
It had become somewhat of a routine, but for Luke, this wasn't normal
He'd sleep with a girl a few times, but then ditch her before things could get too serious
But now he's got himself a drawer of your clothes, and your smile embedded in his brain
So you're over this one time and you both had woken up rather sleepy due to the events of the prior night hehehehe
And Luke is just staring at you so lovingly and it was different than any way he had looked at you before
And he just instinctively wraps you in his arms and spoons you
You're like
"Luke, didn't we say that cuddling was off the table if we're awake? We're not like together, remember?"
And he freezes and is like
"We're together. We sleep together, we spend the mornings together, we are quite literally the definition of together..."
Aww he just chews on his thumb and looks up at you through his eyelashes and just kisses you
You and Luke are the couple that literally everyone is digusted with
He constantly needs to be touching you and will literally wait outside your classes so he can flash you that geeky smile and chuckle while holding out some food or coffee
He just wants to take care of you in all ways possible
Finally lets you come to one of his band practices and everyone is like
"Wow you're significant other is so cool, Luke!"
And he just gets antsy and is like yeah I know now leave them alone before I get jealous hehehe
Such a jealous boyfriend and sometimes you have to remind him how much you love him and he can get really insecure but he finds that comfort in you
Practically thinks you are gold and literally nothing in this world could compare to you
𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩
Alrighty y'all that is it for now, but I hope you likeeee
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tending-the-hearth · 2 months
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little facts about isabelle, my 2012 tmnt oc whom i love very very much
(these are both angsty and fluffy)
@queen-with-the-quill @maddys-nerd-blog
monopoly is her favorite board game but she gets far too into it (she and raph almost broke up during a game and it was banned for a month from the lair)
splinter refers to all the girls as his daughters, and the first time he called isabelle his daughter she cried
seeing as she basically raised herself, isabelle has a lot of trouble admitting when she needs help, like one time she got the flu, and she didn't tell anyone, and donnie ended up finding her almost passed out in the lair and almost had a panic attack
xever is TERRIFIED to even acknowledge their past and literally avoids her like the plague. isabelle is so close to just challenging him to a spar and getting it over with so they can be friends because she actually doesn't hate his presence
the one time she and tony got into a serious fight, he was so upset that he ended up accidentally calling isabelle his bio sister's name. they didn't speak for a week until leo and raph pushed them into a room, and they both just started crying
isabelle and tony steal each other's clothes, but half their clothes are stolen from raph and leo, so the four of them just have a rotating wardrobe and have forgotten what clothes originally belonged to who
ngl she has major abandonment issues since her mom died when she was a kid and her dad was barely around so hehe separation anxiety is ✨fun✨
isabelle loves april but karai IS her best friend in the entire world, they had a Big Bonding moment after the shredder was taken down, and it is illegal to separate them, they are platonic soulmates
she and leo are also super close due to the fact that ofc he's dating her brother and she's dating his
leo was at first a little suspicious of raph and isabelle's fast friendship, and when he tells her that after they've become friends she looks at him, gestures to her entire 5'2 glasses-wearing book-reading anxiety-riddled self and just stares at him in disbelief while raph nearly passes out from laughing so hard
anyways she's my beloved <3
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hyunverse · 1 year
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ur so right that totally makes sense. i am such a hopeless romantic and i swear that’s one of the things that makes me so attracted to hyunjin. like he’s just so emotionally intelligent yk ?? he just gets it. and i love that he shows his love for things (love itself specifically) through his artwork. i’ve always done the same so it’s so nice to have an idol that i feel like is so similar to me yk? he’s 100% a man written by a woman
okay it’s also wednesday where i am and i’m in the est time zone so we’re or 13 hours apart i think ??? i know absolutely nothing about time zones but i know that’s in the uk LOL (which is so cool btw. i have a lot of family in the uk bc my dad is an immigrant from australia and his parents were immigrants from the uk and malta) ALSO so cool you’re also an older sibling, how many siblings do you have? i have two bio and three half ^_^ and def never hurts to ask imo 😏 skz is skz 😏
you made me blush 🤭🤭 i feel like i could talk to you about anything too. even tho we literally just met i’m already so comfy w you. what’s ur zodiac sign ?? that always makes more sense for me when i get along so well w ppl >:)
AND YES CAN WE PLS TALK ABOUT HYUNJIN W THE PIERCINGS 😩. listen, edited or not, the tongue piercing is gonna do it for me every time. and then. the surprise belly button one. dude. i screamed. AND STRAWBERRY BLONDE MINHO PLS BRING IT HERE. and yes seungmin at mama awards was so good like we need to see more forehead from him. it always makes him look older i feel like, which is such a good thing bc i can find him sexy instead of just absolutely adorable. in the recent racha vlog w the maknaes, i was actually baffled at how effortlessly perfect seungs hair is. like he just flicks it back and it looks like it took 45 mins to style it ??? how ??? and why not me ??? blue hyune and seungmin would kill me. but i will say, if we got blue han again…. i don’t think i’d survive. like genuinely i would pass out. and yes let’s pls go on a little expedition and raid all their shampoo so we can get what we want 😇😇😇
- 🐈‍⬛
ME TOO STOP I'M LIKE, THE BIGGEST HOPELESS ROMANTIC I KNOW LOL i'm the type to write love letters and i feel like hyunjin would get me. i long to receive love letters tbh ☹️ i've never received flowers. i've never received even a love note without having to beg for it and it SUCKS. so i decided to screw men and stan hwang hyunjin instead <3 call me a girlboss or wtv!!!
13 HOURS APART??? i'll cry RN. me and my beloved moots always have such huge timezone difference, not u too my love </3 the universe is unfair </3 ooo is it snowing rn where u are? my british oomfs' places r snowing and god, it seems so magical to me. malaysia doesn't experience the four seasons, so i've never experienced neither winter or autumn lol. alwaaays summer here. i've always dreamt of studying in the uk, oxford or cambridge specifically. hopefully i'll get to one day! reaaaally wanna experience snow hehe. i have two siblings!! a little brother and a little sister. they are a pain in my ass but i'd give my kidney to them tbh. u have quite a lot of siblings omg T_T how do u cope T_T
AAA I'M SOFTT U R SO CUTE <3__<3 i'm a leo! i'm not really one to believe in astrology but i will listen 2 any of ur rambles abt it hehe.
NO CS LIKE WHEN I SAW THE BELLY BUTTON PIERCING. I. HAD. TO. PAUSE. WAS FLABBERGASTED AND STARING AT THE SCREEN LIKE? HWANG HYUNJIN? WHAT IS THIS BEHAVIOUR? JHDNJHBD AND it's so funny that ure mentioning seungmin's forehead too cs like, jokingly (maybe not really jokingly) i put "i want to see more of seungmin's forehead" as my new years resolution ^__^ it's a valid resolution ok. i gotta do what i gotta do 🤓 the racha log was so heart-warming 🥹 just our boys being boys. playing games together. super duper wholesome, i melted at the sight, especially jeongin 🥹 baby bread just eating some fries while playing. so so endearing. ure right, seungmin's hair is effortlessly beautiful. wonder how it would be like to run my fingers through his hair. . . 💭 lets go im driving to da cuties dorm and we are gonna blast skz the whole time, baby!
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patt-writes-stuff · 3 years
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Beach Days with The Genshin Characters!
Wc: 1.7k+
Type: Headcanons
CW: umm nothing except mentions of alcohol and maybe people being creeps? (None of the chars or you tho it’s very brief)
A/N: HI IM BACK FROM THE DEAD! These were supposed to be a lot shorter but I got too excited. If you by any chance wanna see some for your fav character lmk! I know it says request are closed in my bio but since it’s just hcs it’s a lot less (and I really enjoyed writing these so ajdhdhdk)
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🔥Diluc:
This man cannot swim. Tell me otherwise, I dare you.
Kaeya tried to jokingly push him off a lil diving cliff area when they were kids.
He almost drowned. Kaeya was in a lot of trouble.
So, good luck getting this man to actually get in the water. The most he’ll do is sit on the shore where it’s very shallow.
He usually prefers to just stay under an umbrella on the sand and keep an eye on you.
Calls you every two hours in advance and helps you reapply sunscreen.
He’s very pale so I feel like he burns pretty easily, meaning he needs to reapply super frequently otherwise he will become a tomato. He brings like three bottles of the good shit. Tch, rich boy.
If you ask him to build a sandcastle, he will pretend to be annoyed but do it anyways. Ends up finding it kind of enjoyable.
He has the maids prepare a nice picnic basket for the two of you!! It’s got all your favorite foods plus grape juice cuz y’know.
If any creepy peeps approach you, don’t worry. He brought his vision and his claymore.
Of course, he won’t have to resort to such violent lengths. Everyone in Mondstadt knows who Diluc is and they probably know you’re his s/o, so they’re usually smart enough to mind their own business.
If they don’t, don’t worry. Diluc’s glare is more than enough to scare them away.
All in all I definitely recommend a beach day with him! I’ll give it a solid 8/10 (-2 for not wearing floaties and getting in the water with you or letting you teach him how to swim.
🖌Albedo:
You guys definitely 100% take Klee out with you on a beach day.
You guys bring snacks, beach toys like buckets and shovels for optimal sandcastle building, a picnic blanket, etc.
Jean definitely packs a lot more stuff for you guys to take with you than you actually need.
It’s only cuz she’s worried for Klee and is nervous about not being able to go with you guys though! It’s very sweet really.
Klee tries to bomb the fish and cause havoc at the beach 😭
I think Albedo is a good swimmer and gets in with you and Klee so that he can help her (which is very cute omfg)
He’s set total workaholic, as we know, so it took a lot of convincing to get him to put down his experiments and accompany you to the beach (however, he’s particularly weak to yours and klee’s puppy dog eyes so he caved eventually)
Though, looking at you and Klee happily building sandcastles and decorating them with pretty seashells of all shapes and colors, he can’t really find it in himself to complain.
He, of course, takes this opportunity to take out his sketchbook and draw the waves, seagulls, you… Of course he won’t let you see the sketch book no sir. He’s a bit embarrassed to be honest, but an artist such as himself recognizes beauty when he sees it so he simply had to draw you. (God I love him so much)
If a creepy person approaches you,- well don’t worry. The sight of a small arsonist child blowing up fish is enough to scare them away 🥰
At the end of the day, all three of you are all ticketed out. Albedo has to carry Klee back to Mondstadt because the poor baby fell asleep the moment you started drying her hair with the beach towel. You’re, of course, carrying back Dodoco and your bags. (You also manage to sneak a peak at Albedo’s sketchbook and find some very pretty drawings of you and Klee with your sandcastle)
At the end of the day, you guys tuck Klee in and read her a bedtime story (she woke up and insisted). Afterwards Albedo takes you back home and thanks you for coming with you and Klee (which you ofc say wasn’t a problem because how could you not???)
All in all? I’ll give it a solid 10/10. You’ve got tasty food, fun times, your boyfriend and his cute kid adoptive sister (yes I am very biased idc)
🦋Xiao:
I think it would take a lot of convincing to get Xiao to go out on a beach date with you.
He’ll probably see it as a distraction getting in the way of his slaying of monsters and demons.
However, he also worships the grounds you walk on (hehe, simp XD), so I don’t think it’ll take that much convincing on your part (especially because it’s is self appointed duty to keep you safe so if you insist on going with or without him, he supposes he’ll have to go)
Is definitely a bit tense at first. He doesn’t know how to let loose and chill so while you’re sun tanning on a beach chair he’s like 🧍‍♂️ahdgshjsjd
Eventually calms down a bit though! You get him to relax and eat some almond tofu you brought along with you. It definitely gets him to perk up.
I don’t think he would mind getting into the water but I do think he’d rather walk along the shore and collect pretty seashells and sea glass.
He later gives the ones he deems pretties to you (he hands them over to you with a blush on his face and pretends it’s not a big deal and he definitely gets all pouty and grouchy when you coo at how adorable he is)
As for creeps, Xiao is both intimidating and well known in Liyue. No one is brave enough (or, let’s be honest, dumb enough) to approach you with any bad intentions.
Sure, Xiao has sworn never to harm a human/citizen of Liyue but that doesn’t mean he can’t scare the absolute shit out of them.
I think Xiao would definitely enjoy a beach day 🥺🥺. He’d find it very relaxing to go out with you and just hear the sound of waves and feel the sand under his feet.
He’d definitely hint at wanting to do it again later. Of course, he won’t tell you. No, that’s a foolish mortal activity and he has much better things to do.
Wait no, don't turn around, yes he will go with you next month.
All in all, I give Xiao a 9/10. It’s a very relaxing day (which he deserves 😤). And you get to see a whole new side of him.
💎Ningguang:
OK SO ORIGINALLY I WASN'T GONNA WRITE ONE FOR HER (at least not in this post) BUT THEN I THOUGHT OF LADY NINGGUANG TAKING YOU TO A WHOLE ASS PRIVATE BEACH
She knows you don’t care about how exclusive the beach you go to is (in fact, the fact that you don’t care about where you are or what you do is one of the things that make her fall more and more madly in love with you) but you deserve the best so she’s gonna go all out.
She’s a busy lady so days like this where the two of you get to go somewhere and be together are few and far between.
She knows it’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who is busy 24/7, so she appreciates how you remain by her side despite all hardships. (Y’all are a whole ass power couple istg)
The two of you spend your day relaxing. Sun bathing, drinking piña coladas, maybe taking a dip in the ocean. It’s all very pleasant!
Ningguang doesn’t quite feel like the type of person who would sit in the sand and make sandcastle, however you’re more than welcome to make some yourself. She finds it endearing <3
If you insist on her helping, she’ll eventually comply. She loves you too much to say no. I feel like she’ll either be terrible at it or like a total architect.
Sand is technically like tiny rocks right? So maybe she can use her vision to help her? If that’s the case, she’s making a replica of the Jade chamber out of sand.
If any creepy person comes up to you don’t worry. Ningguang will buy the whole beach and then use her right of admission as owner to permanently ban them from the beach you’re at.
The only downside to a day at the beach with Ningguang might be that there’s a big chance she’ll be called to tend urgent matters, seeing as she is the Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing and all.
If that does happen, she’ll be sure to make it up to you somehow, whether it be rescheduling or taking care of the matter as soon as possible so that the two of you can get back to your day of relaxation and fun.
All in all?? Lady Ningguang will treat you like total royalty and the two of you will have an amazing time! I give her an 11/10 (she would literally buy a whole beach for you to be comfortable I mean c’mon)
🍃Venti:
BEACH DAYS WITH HIM ARE SO FUN!!
Swimming? Yeah, he’d love to! Sunbathing? Sure! He’ll ever conjure up a light breeze for the two of you. Sandcastle building? WELL OF COURSE WHY DO YOU THING HE BROUGHT ALL THESE BUCKETS AND SHOVELS?
No but seriously, he might be the best person out of everyone here to go to the beach with. He’s fun, free spirited, and he’s a traveling bard who’s been alive long enough to know where all the best beaches in Teyvat are. (He also knows a guy- er, well, dragon I suppose- who is willing to fly them to any place).
He’ll play some soft tunes while you doze under the sun.
HE PICKS PRETTY SHELLS AND GIFTS THEM TO YOU!!!
He will bring booze. I’m pretty sure this is a necessity. If you’re a little upset about it, he’ll probably “eheh~” his way out of it. That slick bastard.
If you really insist on him not drinking, he won’t consume much alcohol.
If some creepy person approaches you and tries to ruin you your day of beach time fun, all of their stuff will suddenly be blown away, causing them to scramble back to their spot and (almost embarrassingly) flail around trying to catch everything. What a shame…
At the end of the day, he’d be a little sad to leave. Definitely makes plans about tbe two of you going back soon.
I gotta give him a 10/10 he’s just so fun omg.
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delicrieux · 3 years
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—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER
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extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 
pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao
author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao
ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist
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You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.
A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?
Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.
A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”
mother i crave violence
sensing evil energy rn!!
i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖
^with peace and love shut the fuck up
“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”
You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”
Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.
“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 
rip headphone users
i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears
yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭
To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.
Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 
queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?
Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie
akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.
Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.
There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.
The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.
nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!
^pack it up girl defined
“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”
You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 
“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 
i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 
shes trying give her time
ya dig??? y not capeesh
what scene from the godfather is this lol?
“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.
Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎
You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”
The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.
Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:
I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.
You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.
“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”
NOW she considers it
well....
if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3
Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”
Onto the bio:
You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 
“What the fuck did I just read?”
The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.
The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 
But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.
No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.
“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.
WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????
tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be
^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell
look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling
It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.
What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.
Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.
YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 
...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.
You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.
“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.
“What?” She grits.
“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”
“What did you do now?”
“I made fun of men on Tinder.”
She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”
“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”
“Y/n.”
“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”
She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.
Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.
You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(
my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?
Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 
Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!
You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?
my husband Not jealous.
Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”
He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!
my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.
You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao
my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?
You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs
my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)
Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.
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hope you liked it!! xx
953 notes · View notes
shoichee · 3 years
Note
hello! may i ask some tips about the instragram acccunts the GoM + kagami could have? like of sort of post, amount of followers, stuff like that THANK U and have a great day !!
THIS IS ACTUALLY HILARIOUS SINCE I BREATHE OFF OF INSTAGRAM LFMAO
[Headcanons]
Kuroko Tetsuya
HELP WHAT IF HE HAS NO PRESENCE ON SOCIAL MEDIA TOO—
professional lurker
never comments on anything unless it’s to congratulate under a friend’s post or something like that
probably started using it because Ogiwara moved from letters and texts to just... instagram (technology advancements, jazz hands)
his account is on private, and he only lets people he knows follow him
all of his posts are pictures to commemorate something or just really wholesome group pictures
DEFINITELY has that picture of the GoMs at his birthday OVA
DEFINITELY also posted the big birthday picture taken at the end of the party
and also had typed very sappy BIG paragraph captions for both of these posts, talking about the journey and him being grateful… y’know, him being him
HIS ENTIRE COMMENT SECTIONS ARE JUST EVERYONE SOBBING AND KEYBOARD SPAMMING??? ONLY LIKE MIDORIMA AND AKASHI POST COHERENT RESPONSES UNDERNEATH
@kiseryouta: kuROKOCCHIIIII!!NEJWIEISK
@momoiowo: TETSUU (ʃƪ˘・ᴗ・˘) YOURE SO SWEET REEEE
@a_daikiii: i stg quit being so corny no one died yet🙄 and @momoiowo relax smh
@shin_chan77: I suppose I can express some form of gratitude for being in my life despite you being a blood type A. (insert a giant paragraph after this)
@4k4shi: This was very touching to read, Kuroko. I’m very glad that our… (insert him going down memory lane)
Murasakibara has no comment LMAO
his entire Seirin team are his hype men under his posts
his profile picture is literally the gray default blank head because he didn’t even set up a profile picture for himself
he has like 20 followers max or something?
8 posts? like, he only posts on special occasions or big events
his occasional stories are always comprised of Nigou and blurry Kagami pictures/videos running away from Nigou UH OH (courtesy of @dust-of-fandoms)
@tetsuya11 for his user handle
@dust-of-fandoms JUST MADE AN INSTAGRAM FOR HIM HERE!!
Kise Ryota
uses his instagram account as a portfolio for his modeling career
majority of his posts are actually pictures he managed to snag from his frequent model shoots
it looks SO professional… but then you look at his IGTVs and his reel videos
his reels are either short clips of mini vlog series he does whenever he visits the GoMs or when he’s recording his Kaijō teammates doing tricks and dunks
his IGTVs are either skincare tutorials, fashion advice… or just… unexplainable, out-of-context shitposts of Kise running away from what fans assumed “a green-haired man” or some “captain”
follower account?? 124k
who wouldn’t resist a hot model?
DEFINITELY HAS A TIKTOK I CAN FEEL IT
@kiseryouta with an official verification next to it
people either love him or hate him
posts a casual selfie from time to time, and people praise him for “being real” LMAODOA AND HE’S JUST STARING AT HIS PHONE LIKE “??? IMIG BUT I JUST FELT CUTE TODAY”
his captions feel fake LMAO like: “Wow! today’s so pretty today!” as he puts a selfie post OR “What’s your favorite game?✨” under a professionally-shot model picture that does not correlate with the caption???
has posted shitposts on his stories and his fans are utterly confused… only the GoMs get it LMAO
Midorima Shintarou
ONLY reason why he has social media is because Takao convinced him that he could let everyone know the daily lucky items for each signs for every post he makes
so for the first 2 months of having instagram he just casually posts a “daily horoscope” report(?) for the day
his content attracted in all the astrology fans and people who are devoted to tarots
and he’s CONFUSED.
… Takao may or may not have played a hand in messing with the algorithms to expose his account to bigger audiences
once Midorima finds out he’s MAD LMAO *insert Takao pain noises*
either goes down two paths: just casually continuing to post the daily Oha Asa predictions without interacting with anyone OR deleting his account and making a new PRIVATE one just for communication/lurking purposes
so he can honestly have 10k followers if he chooses to be a horoscope account or like 3 followers on his private, take it or leave it
maybe he has two accounts if he feels that having instagram has its merits
definitely has a shit ton of random stuff/posts in his saved collections
boomer energy, like… what’s a “reels” feature?? people talk to their phone camera and record that?? he’s squinting really hard and scratching his head
either has 356 horoscope posts on his “main” or like 19 posts on his private
has a rubber duck as a profile picture for BOTH ACCOUNTS HELP HIM
@oha_asa_ for his horoscope account or @shin_chan77 as his personal because he doesn’t know how to change his username (thanks, Takao LMAO)
Aomine Daiki
he doesn’t give a shit about instagram LOL
it’s MOMOI who handles his account because he doesn’t wanna bother with it LMAOO
she would tease him and try to “encourage” him to stop lazing around by taking pictures of him whenever he’s snoozing and posting it
but he’s so damn good-looking that his sleeping pictures got some traction with new fans
Aomine is still sleeping
his account also has pictures of him eating at Maji burger or at a café, and of course Momoi is the one snapping these photos of him
he started caring about it a little more once Momoi told him that he can post videos of himself doing trickshots and one-on-ones to potentially find worthy rivals over the internet and meet up
so now his account (videos, reels, IGTVs) are all riddled with basketball/small parkour footage shot by yours truly, Momoi
so his fanbase is split between thirsty people and people who genuinely admire him for his skills… but I mean there’s also people in both categories, anywho
he’d totally follow his favorite Japanese idols on IG if they had one
also would follow any NBA-related accounts/players he admires
has like 2.7k followers (but growing really fast) with like 176 posts of videos and random pictures of him
his profile picture is literally a picture of him sleeping by Momoi
@a_daikiii
Momoi Satsuki
LOTS OF REALLY cute, playful selfies, and a lot of them are used with cute filters from the Snow app
sometimes would post herself doing a really cute Tiktok dance while in her school uniform
she doesn’t post too much; she’s actually more into posting IG stories and making highlights out of them and then making highlight covers have a coordinating theme together
very aesthetic theme on her feed overall hehe
definitely uses her account to comment on other GoMs posts, often commenting something snarky on Aomine’s and Kise’s
actually has 1-2 IGTVs on the Vorpal Sword’s big game against the Jabberwocks
doesn’t have much of full-body shots/outfit pictures other than mirror selfies because Aomine refuses to take good pictures of her
only when she sees Kise or Kuroko is when she can ask either to be a photographer
she’s definitely gotten a few small collab offers from small businesses, but she usually ignores them because it’s not exactly her thing
her profile picture is just a selfie with a sketch-line cat ear filter
uses a bunch of emoticons on her bio, captions, comments, everything
⌒(ㅇㅅㅇ❀)⌒ or ☆⌒(>。≪) or .₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑*̑˚̑*̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑*̑˚̑*̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑*̑˚̑*̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑*̑˚̑*̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇. you get the picture
967 followers… that looks way too specific, but it’s somewhere around there; a lot of them came from Aomine’s account after they saw who’s been taking his pictures, and they wanna learn more about her??
around 40 posts?
@momoiowo
Murasakibara Atsushi
Himuro showed him how to use the app, but Murasakibara doesn’t find ANY USE FOR THIS LMAOO
he’d probably only get on it to look at food on the explore page and drool about the cuisines
keeps tabs on local places/restaurants/shops on instagram; those are probably the only accounts he’d follow tbh
it’s probably like ONE post and it’s an old picture of a dango on a plate he ate like 2 years ago
I have this image in my head that he has a really cute bento art as his profile picture?? can you imagine a Rilakkuma-shaped rice as his PROFILE PICTURE?
his bio is definitely: “hungry”
and that’s it
27 followers, and it’s literally just his Yōsen teammates, the GoMs and probably some other classmates of his
his captions are literally empty or 1-2 words
@oomaib0
Akashi Seijuro
only uses instagram because it’ll be beneficial for his company and to expand social networks, plus getting those sweet business deals and engagement
he doesn’t mind seeing really wholesome videos on the explore page though
when he wants to relax, a cat video melts his stress away
laughs to himself while he reads all the shenanigans underneath the GoMs’ posts
DEFINITELY loses a few brain cells seeing trolls and idiots on the internet… especially on controversial or political ones LMAO
he at first had to REFRAIN himself and take deep breaths before he just scrolls on, but he eventually got used to them and can now easily ignore them as easy as he breathes air
he actually enjoys shitposts and meme videos?? like he may not completely understand the meme trends sometimes, but he’ll still find it amusing enough for a chuckle
he ends up being the one who uses instagram the most? like Kise posts a shit ton, yeah, but Kise doesn’t really sit down and just scroll endlessly; Kise releases out content, while Akashi consumes the content
he reasons with himself that it’s to study his current demographics for the company, and while that may be true, Akashi just enjoys social media, plain and simple LOL
he does get to study the behaviors of all the generations using the platform, young folks and old folks alike, and it does get him excited in using his analytical skills to try to figure out people BEHIND a screen rather than those in front of him
it makes a really good challenge for him when he wants a good mental exercise
he has a post or two about his horses, his manor, and a video or two on him playing his violin?? but most are business-related, them being advertisements or business contracts/offers… things like that
his highlights are all about Q&As regarding the company, his background, his skillsets, etc. like an actual resumé
actually links current world issue cards/petitions on top of his company website; he’s quite an advocate
he actually doesn’t post about basketball because that’s something very close to his heart since it reminds him of his late mother… having that mixed in with his company-related posts feels wrong to him
27k followers, most of them are business-related accounts AND some are some followers his father bought for him without Akashi’s input to inflate engagement, etc.
@4k4shi… oh he thinks he’s SO CLEVER FOR MAKING THIS USERNAME LOL with the 4 being his jersey number and the 4s looking like As… AKASHI PLEASE—
his profile pic is like a professionally taken picture, nothing less for our king
his grammar and syntax are impeccable on social media; after all, he’s still being judged for how he carries himself even on the media
Kagami Taiga
mukbang guy… DEFINITELY
hot guy eating nine plates of steaks
IGTVs are filled with mukbang videos because Kuroko said he could make a living off of his appetite
HE COULD MAKE MONEY OFF OF JUST EATING? SIGN HIM UP.
on his posts, he posts dishes he makes for the day/is proud of and talks about the dish and ingredients briefly in the caption
that, or he has pictures of his new basketball shoes LMAO
or all of his basketball merch
HE’S DEFINITELY POSTED PICTURES OF LANDMARKS AND OTHER ICONIC PLACES HE’S TRAVELED TO (*cough* in America)
has a generic Jordan brand logo against a dark background as a profile picture
doesn’t have his face anywhere unless it’s in a mukbang video
279 followers or something
why do I have a feeling that he’ll accidentally blow up when Alex takes his phone to do a quick selfie on it?—
@taiga10
357 notes · View notes
miyuwuki · 2 years
Note
hey! i saw your event and you reached to 500! i would like to say congratulations on your milestone! may i please request a match up?
personality: i am an ambivert. i get very quiet for the first impressions because i adapt to new social lives and environment. it takes time for to get comfortable and when i am at that stage, i am more of a funny, energetic, and quirky person. i too am a kind person. there are times when i can be a cold and distant person due to how people carry on about themselves (ex: when people are rude for no reason like it’s how they are. then, like the next time we meet, they’re nice like nothing happened). i do have some of the traits of a tomboy like the energy and how aggressive i can be (not in a bad way). it also includes on how i dress (i swear that i am NOT no pick-me-girl which i do NOT bring and tear women down to make an impression for someone to get with, mainly guys. i support women’s rights (along with hyping women up) and other rights). i do get emasculated as well about the tomboyish traits and all. i have gotten all of comments which are judgements from others about me but i just don’t mind because everyone is entitled to their opinions.
age: 18
gender: female
pronouns: she/her
height: 5’9/174 cm
zodiac: virgo
top 3 zodiac placements: virgo sun, capricorn moon, sagittarius rising
mbti: istj
likes: skincare, movie and tv show nights, going to sport games, positive vibes, fashion (hypebeast, streetwear, dark and light academia)
dislikes: fake people, homophobia, discrimination, ignorant people, arrogant people, snotty people, peer pressure
hobbies: photography (nature, portrait, and cityscape), listening to music (pop, kpop, rnb, lofi, and throwbacks), and coding
interests: skateboarding, snowboarding, and serve in military
gender preference: male
what do i look for in a someone?: the person has to be loyal, down-to-earth, trustworthy and respectful. someone that can match my vibe and energy (calm and goofy). they need to not care what society says about us whether we’re just together, doing crazy things, etc. i do look for someone that is protective and understanding.
a/n: hello! tysm! i’ve got to say i really like your bio. “chase less attract more” yeah i fw that so hard. enjoy @happythrivin :D
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DIAMOND NO ACE
kuramochi youichi
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kuramochi is perfect! istj’s seem to be very independent and logical, so kuramochi’s affectionate side balances perfectly with it :) he knew he loved you when he saw you for the first time, quiet and timid, but loved you even more when you were able to be comfortable around him with your quirky and goofy side— he loves it! he loves how confident you are and doesn’t care what other people think, like yeah, that’s his girl. EXPECT MOVE NIGHTS. he loves having movie marathons with you and it usually comes with a bunch of snacks, drinks, and kicking out his roommates out :D you’d take your sit in between his legs on the ground, back against his chest while both of your attention is on the screen. it ranges from children’s movies to horror movies. it is never a dull moment with him. kuramochi would definitely shit talk with you about all the snobby people in the world because he hates them as well. whoever you hate, he hates, and it’s a pact. he believes it’s you and him vs. the world, nothing else. although.. it’s more of you vs. the world when it comes to coding (he is not good at it at all). he gets really emotional when you take your leave to the military, so he makes you a playlist to remind you how much he loves you hehe. kuramochi would 100% match any vibe you emit; it’s as if he’s another you! he is very protective of you and makes sure that you’re not in any danger (unless you’re serving ofc) and he’s eager to get updates about your health and whereabouts. he is so respectful to you and patient and you could literally put your heart in your hands and give it to him— because that’s how much he cherishes you.
KUROKO NO BASKET
takao kazunari
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king of positive vibes, no questions asked. takao does not give a fuck about what anyone thinks— i mean he’s best friends with a four-eyes who wholeheartedly places his future on a tv horoscope show. he has no reason to care what others think. and thats what he loves about you. you guys go on crazy adventures and sometimes go through all sorts of trouble for the fun of it— because making memories is better than abiding by the rules. he teases you when you’re quiet around him at first, but literally falls in love all over again when you show your goofy side. like kuramochi: whoever you hate, he hates. whoever you give the cold shoulder to, he will do the same. because it’s you and him against the world, sometimes midorima tagging along. takao asks you to do skincare on him because he sees how nicely you take care of your skin, so skincare nights are common. then he’ll boast to the team the next day about how nice and smooth his skin is, thanks to the best girlfriend in the world. you enjoy watching his basketball games and he loves seeing you among the crowd. he’ll often point at you and wink and you’d laugh it off, sticking your tongue out at him. you take a lot of pictures of him on the court too because damn, he is so mf cool when he’s using his hawk-eye. when you show it to him, he asks you to send it to him and he’ll post it. he asks for music recommendations from you often because he likes your taste in music. when you go for the military, he’ll literally cry in front of you but hype you up because “you’re the strongest and i believe in you.” he sends you selfies everyday and calls you and will write in a diary of his days, hoping you’d do the same. takao is seriously one of the most caring guys out there and will protect you with his life. he walks you home, to class, literally he is attached to you by the hip. he will never do anything to disrespect you and remember— he doesn’t give a fuck about what others think. you wanna have a chugging contest of different flavour sodas? okay, so be it.
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**✿❀reblogs and likes are appreciated❀✿**
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hiimsociallyawkward · 3 years
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the wicked day
hey guys. i'm back with my random and annoying merlin thoughts. i should be studying for my bio quiz, but yk- i don't want to :,) love you @lady-ofmagic-andstars✨enjoy✨
literally every time i'm going watching i'm going to comment on john hurt that says young man instead of young boy
it's so subtle but wow. thanks i didn't need to be hurt so early on in the episode
i know i know i'm basically a child but this is so exciting
merlin is so cute
aw no not arthur being pouty abt his big birthday
I LOVE THE 'i heard that' thing so much. i love it i love it
off topic, but i love knife throwing. i've always thought that if i had to choose a weapon that's not a gun, i'd choose knifes. swords? maces? crossbows? sure. but knives?? that's where it's really at
i love arthur not wanting to overburden their citizens
ok uther? i hate him
but here? i love him
he's a good dad here. remembering arthur's birthday? that's so sweet. uther in season 4 is the only time i semi like him
AW ARTHUR AND UTHER AT DINNER
i love them
off topic but i like that arthur is wearing his 'every day' clothes, jacket and a tunic under his cape. that's it. the knights are all wearing his garb but arthur is just wearing his 'regular clothes'
hehe gwen being nervous about arthur being on the wheel is so sweet
idk why but i always get nervous at that last knife.
like of COURSe i know he's not going to get hit but it's scary.
the 'not wearing any trousers' thing omg. bbc really decided to do that
i wish we had more of this parental dynamic of arthur and uther
dam alright arthur. being out of it but still being in it enough to see the guy in the reflection? i stan
SKLFJASLDFJA uther fighting to protect arthur
literally me through his whole scene going 'oh jeez oh jeez oh jeez' on repeat.
so off topic but i kind of like the hairstyle they have for most of the guys in this show?? idk is that weird
oh jeez oh jeez oh jeez uther dying
like, i HATe him. i've been waiting for this since season 1 but this scene makes me sad
ok i don't remember the last episode of merlin so i forget what arthur says when he's dying in merlin's arms??
it's something like 'hold me' right? i feel like that has the same energy as 'stay with me' so while i can't exactly say this is sort of parallel, it's sort of parallel?
i mean, ok 1. dying in someone else's arms. 2. dying in the arms of someone you love? romantically, platonically, familial? doesn't matter. both uther and arthur died in the arms of someone they loved. 3. i'm just gonna say 'hold me' and 'stay with me' have the SAME energy, so if no one has called semi-parallels, i'm calling semi-parallels
bradley's single tear
stfu agarvaine. i'm serious. legit everytime he shows up i wanna pow pow pow him
legit. agaravaine needs to get away from morgana.
DO NOT GRAB HER ARM MISTER. LET GO OF HER
I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH HER. LET GO OF HER RN
i've said it once and i'll say it again, i love gwen
not to romanticize death or anything but i like candle light vigils.
ok maybe slightly symbolic but probably not? ok actually i think it is, not to toot my own horn but this is also just really straightforward too.
arthur wearing 'street garb' and his 'knight stuff' sort of differentiates between 'arthur' and 'prince arthur'. the scene where merlin and arthur are looking over the vigil and merlin's talking about how there's nothing that can be done, and arthur mentions using magic, i may be off about this but i feel like he's speaking more from prince arthur rather than arthur, uther is my father.
like of course arthur's hurting, everyone knows he's hurting. but idk. i feel like he feels like he's not ready to be king. he needs more time, and he can't be king yet. so therefore, prince arthur is talking about needing to save their king.
gaius and merlin are both right here. idk what else to say.
wow merlin 'you can't stop me' love that
jeez 'maybe this is my chance to change that' little do you know what's happening soon merlin.
oh shoot.
arthur asking merlin if he would use magic to save his father? i'm just thinking back to merlin crying, but not crying over balinor because he couldn't tell arthur, and merlin having to mourn his father in secret. vs. arthur, asking merlin for advice. sharing all his worries and insecurities with gwen. begging gaius to do something more for his father. this just makes me so sad
arthur TRUSTING merlin. with everything. taking merlin's opinion on things and aw
this is dumb but tbh i really like merlin's outfit. like tbh i think i dress in the same sort of style, just ✨modern✨ sadly, no neckerchief for me but i do have a necklace that says 'heather' despite my name being 'ashley'. ily conan gray
ugh. arthur calling merlin a coward but also calling him brave?? you need to pick a side arthur
LMAO ARTHUR STOP THINKING ABOUT WATCHING MERLIN PEE
bruh arthur breaking the vase. it's so dumb but merlin referring to the vase over and over actually makes me chuckle
ok merlin going 'you have come to kill me?' reminds me of another show but i can't remember but i thought i'd put it out here anyways
oh shoot i just realized/remember that uther got stabbed on arthur's birthday. hell of a gift am i right 😭
hehe arthur 'sweeping' with the broom. silly goose
dragoon sounds so vulnerable asking for the right to use magic freely
i love you arthur. this scene, i'm like YES. arthur i love him
i love the saying 'my word'. like, i don't want people to promise me anything anymore. i want them to give me their word.
HAHA THIS IS SO DUMB. MERLIN SAYING 'QUESTIONS. SO MANY QUESTIONS'. I LITERALLY SAY IT WITH THE SHOW EVERY TIME. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME
aw arthur just sitting there with the cup and trying not to break it HAHA he's so sweet. slightly scared after that vase yk what i mean
ok i don't like morgana and everything but that necklace? that's a stroke of genius. yes girl. make up the plan as you go along
frick you agarvaine. do not scare gwen you PERV
jeez agarvainewas SO rude putting that necklace onto uther. like yes, ik you don't like him but STILL. that's just rude
i'm going to start calling people toads now
hehe arthur closing his door and merlin being right there. it's not necessarily a trope but it totally is and i love it
ah yes. merlin and the tavern. i feel like it's been referred to before but it's still funny.
ok ik arthur carrying merlin is there for kicks for the kids but i laughed anyways
apparently i have the humor of a 10 year old
this is really dumb but the scene with arthur and the two guards. i'm just thinking 'how tall are these guards'. ofc ik that the staging/perception could be doing something that might be making arthur look shorter, but my first reaction was 'bradley is 6' just how tall are these guards??'
merlin's speech about magic makes me sad
aw 'i hope, one day, that you'll see me in a different light'
dragoon has the same effect on arthur as merlin does
uther waking up 😭
AW. UTHER'S LITTLE SIGH AND THEN 'ARTHUR' BREAK MY HEART COVEY. BREAK IT A THOUSAND TIMES.
they're both so happy. this makes me so sad now. oh jeez. oh jeez. oh jeez
oh jeez oh jeez merlin's expression. AW merlin gave arthur his word. oh jeez this is very stressful and i'm only watching this
ok obviously. merlin doesn't want to see arthur in pain. but ALSO this was merlin's chance to change things once and for all. and now uther is dead. #no liam just payne
arthur's face post crying. skf;aldjfa;ldk AW
frick you agarvaine. literally die. i can't wait for merlin to kill you
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i think this scene is pretty. the light on the left and the dark on the right? ok actually, i'm going to be making an off base comparison now because that's all i do.
i'm remembering this post i saw on here and it was like, arthur uther and morgana in the throne room. in order of the way they sit in the throne room, first it's arthur, uther, and then morgana
well. the really dumb and off base comparison here is the 'light' goodness of arthur and the 'dark' evil of morgana being mirrored in the picture above.
'light', bravery, doing what's right- being on the left. 'dark', evil, power on the right- and arthur in the middle of it, king
like i said, it's a dumb off base comparison, but at least the picture is pretty
oh jeez this scene
my heart breaks for both of them
merlin not being able to form a sentence at first.
😭😭😭😭 arthur please. you're breaking everyone's heart right now
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you already knew i had to include this scene
arthur walking in there all alone
oh jeez he's all alone
dumb parallel number 2. arthur walking into the throne room with uther, father and son. merlin and gaius closing the door for arthur- pseudo father and pseudo son.
'he'll never know who i really am'
i want to do a DEH post soon but jeez. the line that hits hardest for me in DEH is 'i never let them see the worst of me. cause what if everyone saw? what if everyone knew? would they like what they saw? or would they hate it too? and jeez that's all i can think about when i think about merlin and his secrets
again. no liam, just payne
asldkfja;sldkfjas dlf merlin waiting for arthur
i have so many feelings
i love the show of affections for his father. you already know that uther wasn't affectionate when arthur was growing up, but still. forehead kiss? i love it
I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO FEEL THAT YOU WERE ALONE. i hate this and love this so much. i'm not saying merlin is completely selfless, because merlin wants magic to be leagalized and arthur is the way to do that. but omg merlin not wanting for arthur to feel like he's alone breaks me
first, merlin being physically alone while waiting for arthur. arthur was technically alone too, but he was with his father
but also, merlin being alone in the sense of his magic. no one knows except for gaius. lancelot knew and then they killed him. merlin is so alone when it comes to his magic, and morgana's enchantment only pushes merlin into his 'magic shell' more. arthur thinks magic is pure evil, and merlin is made of magic. what does that mean would think of arthur. this hurts me so much i'm so sad
friend 😭
arthur asking if he's hungry and them getting breakfast together
ok this sound track
pendragon red. i actually stan
gwen wearing a purple dress?? color symbolism?? nah i'm over thinking
ASIFA;SDLFJAD HE'S KING OF CAMELOT
IT'S LIKE I WANT TO CRY BECAUSE I'M SO PROUD RIGHT NOW.
oh jeez oh jeez.
and merlin saying 'long live the king' at the end of the episode?
chills
Anyways! I’ll be back next week to rant more about aithusa so I’ll see you then! thanks I love you bye
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mrpenguinpants · 3 years
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Alright, I finally read Reincarnation no Kaben
AFTER MONTHS (it’s probably been a month? My mind doesn’t keep track of the days) I FINALLY CAUGHT UP TO RNK. Ty to Okita anon for the recommendation (* ̄3 ̄)╭💕💕💕 I absolutely loved it. 
After this I’ll start on the other recommendation you gave me. I kept a bit of a log of my reading journey under the read more tag. 
Major spoilers for literally everything in RNK up to ch 53 “Withdrawal”. 
Oh, and I’ll finish answering all my leftover asks and I SHOULD have a fic done by tomorrow. I was so ready to write and then I got up. Now I’m back to bed. 
I’m just gonna write this as a log since I read super super slow and I’m only on ch 7 at the start of writing this but I’m really liking it already. Though to be fair. I love everything okita anon recommends haha. I remember you saying you were simping over Kouu and I haven’t gotten to the part where he appears but I wanted to quickly google what he looked like to prepare myself and I see this:
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Well. That’s reassuring. 
I was actually kinda surprised by how many western figures were in the manga since I know there are only like 7? Around 7 western figures that pop up in any anime/manga but seeing people like Albert Fish was kinda surprising but I really liked it. Also, at the end of certain chapters they write little bio’s on them so you get to know more about them was such a nice touch.  I also love that the tradition of making males -> females still stays strong even outside the fate universe hehe.
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Literally, the next chapter I see him. AHHHHHHHHH. Well maybe not him but his eyeballs. 
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This guy lowkey reminds me of the MC’s brother but it’s 99% because he has the same long ponytail. I wouldn’t be surprised if the brother was apart of the the Greats. Honestly, Ein reminds me of those really hard headed girls that are actually really kind on the inside but aren’t good at expressing themselves (maybe because that’s pretty much her character). I also like that Ein doesn’t like males but she’s hiding behind this guy. At least, I’m..99% sure this is Ein. 
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I FUCKING KNEW IT. AS SOON AS I SAW HE GOT A THEIF TALENT I COULD FEEL THE SOLO LEVELING VIBES IN ME. HE CAN STEAL TALENTS I FUCKING KNEW IT!!! I’m surprised that Neumann didn’t say anything and  Haito seems to be aware of it.  
Edit: Ah okay, I understand a bit now but it almost seems like Haito is the only one aware of Toya’s second talent.
Edit 2: Okay, as much as I love power hungry MC’s I’m really glad they didn’t make Toya into that. I am such a softie for sympathetic and kind MC’s like these even though it’s been done so many times. I’m really glad this didn’t feel like a rehash. I mean, some points some of the stuff Toya says it does but it’s fine, I don’t mind that. I actually gave a crap about him since I usually prefer the side characters (I UNDERSTAND ANON, I CARE ABOUT KOUU SO MUCH AHHHHH) but HAITO?? AHHHHH. 
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I like that Izo always has the same hat in every adaptation he’s in lol. Istg, cats are always op. Schrodinger seems so strong and the parallel universes are my absolute shit. Sometimes I think, in one universe I did this and in this universe I’m not. Would I rather stay in this universe or be in the one where I am actually productive. Usually I pick the productive universe and actually work but sometimes I’m a bit of a slacker haha. I think this is my approach to a lot of things in life. But I digress, I don’t wanna get too deep into my life. 
I can sorta sympathize with the sinners. At least the ripper guy to say the least. I love love love unhinged characters that just want to basically destroy the world or at least have fun. But then you find out- wait they are actually sympathetic oh no. That’s how I felt about Djoser in “im the great priest imhotep” (please...i beg...someone read this...I’m so starved). 
As much as character development and rooting for the hero is cool and all, I just want to simp for the crazy “let’s burn the world to the ground” kinda character. I’m also so glad Toya doesn’t automatically become evil and try and steal everyone’s talents because he does seem like a good person and I really don’t see him suddenly switching fields so when he saved (I don’t remember names I’m sorry), the undead solider it was really nice. Proves that he still has his humanity and isn’t strictly relying on the branch of sin. 
It makes sense that he wants to steal talents since he never had one (and it was kinda out of left field when he killed Vlad and we just never addressed that ever again haha) but to see him actually consider his actions and if he actually want’s to steal his teammates talents feels right to me. Poor guy doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends so this is the first time he’s ever seemed to have companionship, aside from Haito, so I really hope he doesn’t attempt to steal their talents. I think I’m thinking of the slime? That time I got reincarnated as a slime manga/anime. Where he’s the pokemon catcher of skills. I thought that was where it was going. 
But I do kinda like how selfish Haito and Toya’s talent stealing relationship is (I mean, later it develops but my first draft of writing this I wasn’t there yet). I’m not sure if selfish or like self-gratitude/pride is the right word but it’s kind of a breath of fresh air. Rather than Haito trying to contain or “help” Toya’s inferiority she’s actually encouraging it and using her own talent for her own...acknowledgement? Er, yeah let’s go with that. 
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This. This interaction. I love this. Like, genuinely love this. We need more of this. Two people from opposite sides finding some common ground and their fight to the death is less about morals or whose on whose side but for themselves. I love that. This is actually some wholesome stuff. 
Edit: AHHHHH CATCH MY UGLY CRYING IN THE BACK BECAUSE ALL THE “SINNERS” ARE ACTUALLY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. IM DEAD. YOU’VE KILLED ME. 
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I KNEW IT! YOU CAN NEVER TRUST THESE KIND OF PEOPLE!! I’m going to slap the whiteboard on this but if I see any “goofy” character I’m immediately sus of them. 
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As much as I hate that Hitler is getting drawn as a small child I really like this. I know the whole, oh I killed your friends but I’m letting you go because you express humanity but I’m gonna finish my death with a sympathetic line, can be annoying to people but idk I really liked this. 
Honestly this and the undead soldiers death hit me hard ngl. This manga might not have my favourite art style during some points compared to like main stream manga but it has some really beautiful scenes. 
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BOOM CALLED IT, though it’s pretty obvious lol. 
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THE PONY TAIL NEVER LIES AND HES DA VINCI IT MAKES SENSE NOW
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He looks so cute lol. I like that Seiya has the talent of being talented in everything while Toya has the talent to steal other talents. Seiya can probably only cap his power by his own physical/mental abilities with Toya can pull a solo leveling and go further beyond. Thinking of it like jack of trades vs master of none type deals. Though, I might be thinking too hard on this. I like that this man is actually humble but I really wish there was a tiny bit more to him since we only get this one interaction/backstory but the manga isn’t completed yet. I really hope we get to know about Seiya more;; like how he became da vinci or etc. 
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Everytime I see Neumann I look at that comic sans type and it kills me on the inside. But I love that her eyes are 01 just, mwah perfection. These little details that aren’t that big but it’s soooo nice. I also ahem, unhinged character heart be still. It’s really nice reading manga in bursts because you can see the art progression and damn does she look good. 
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tiny fang appreciation post. 
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ngl i’M HARD SIMPING FOR THIS MAN. It’s the pony tail, I have such a thing for guys with long hair (and this is why genshin broke me) but man the art really picked up here. 
I didn’t get into it but OKITA ANON I GET IT. KOUU??? AHHHH. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE??? As much as his whole “war” was a bit questionable in the beginning and tbh I still don’t really get it I like that he knows he’s not the same as the other Greats but still tries to help the other “sinners” in a way only he knows. That’s why Seiya was so important;; I get that he wanted them to have a fun death and to be understood but idk, the whole war idea and having them kill each other (especially the Hitler fights because I understand the others since they reached some kind of acknowledgement) but nonetheless, what a great guy.
Nightingale gives me mad masaki vibes from chainsawman. I hate them and I can’t wait for you to fail, but the inner part of my is cheering for you because unhinged characters are my shit. I feel really bad for Neumann, I had suspicions she wasn’t actually like that since it’s sooo out of left field but I’m really glad the manga seems to know what it’s doing. I really wish we got more Kouu interactions with everyone tho. 
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NOW THIS. THIS IS SOME WHOLESOME STUFF. I WANT THIS. I REALLY WANT SPIN-OFF OF REALLY SAD ANIME/MANGA/STORIES WHERE ALL THE DEAD PEOPLE HANG OUT. That’s how I’m feeling about JJK and the scroll segments or BSD WAN that just came out. IT’S SO WHOLESOME TO SEE EVERYONE NOT TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER. 
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UGLY SOBBING IN THE CLUBBB AND KOUU AND CHARLOTTE AHHHH. I hate how this is phrased but the respect I have for Hitler?? YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD THAT IS TO TYPE?? Kitazuka is cool tho, I really like him. Some god given talent. I’m hard simping over him but I really hope we get to know more about him later. 
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Getting smug mona vibes, I love this. 
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AHHH IVE NEVER FELT THIS UPSET OVER AN APPLEEEE. I’M ACTUALLY UPSET. IF HE DIES IM ACTUALLY GOING TO CRY MY HEART OUT. 
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THE FAMOUS SLAP 
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I’M SORRY WHA- SLENDERMAN?
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Oh..wow. Okay, be still my heart. When I first saw her I thought she was really pretty but now I’m absolutely smitten. God damn, can I please have some more crumbs on these characters before they die;; 
AHHH SAME GIRL FUCKING SAME????? I adore these small panels and translator notes. It’s a real breather after the sad 3am hours talk these characters go through. 
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Yagyuu. Jesus christ. WHY ARE ALL THE DEATH SCENES IN THIS MANGA ACTUALLY SO PRETTY AND STABS ME IN THE HEART??? that’s it. goodbye. im fucking out. im actually so upset rn. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME? 
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In conclusion, and I should probably re-read what the characters say and not go off on memory because I’m about to get really deep. I really like how they phrased why they wanted to stop the branch of sin. That there are people just like Toya and Haito who, if they never found the branch of sin, could still probably lead respectable and okay lives. That there was a “them” in another universe that didn’t go down that road and that they want to be in the same universe as “them”. I know this sounds really confusing if you haven’t read the manga but going back to what I said about the parallel universe stuff. 
There was a universe where Toya and Haito didn’t rely on the branch of sin, that even without their talents from becoming a returner, they could still live a happy life given their own personalities and attitudes. It was kinda moving since in the beginning, Toya wanted a talent so badly and now that he has one. He’s realizing that wait, I don’t need a past life talent in order to live. Honestly, I hard relate to that because I totally agree with him. If you have a talent you can probably live a very happy and comfortable life that other factors wouldn’t matter if you just have that incredible talent. Thinking of it as a painter or artist, if you had actual god-given talent you wouldn’t need to worry about other factors since people would naturally seek that talent. So you end up comparing yourself to others and setting that limit on yourself. 
But that’s okay, it’s completely natural and I’m not saying it’s horrible if you do this. Fuck, I do this all the time. I’m not saying the manga is changing my life but it’s kind of refreshing that it get’s talked about since other adaptations of this just make the character super OP. I understand wanting to have that incredible talent, fuck who doesn’t? but you don’t need it in order to live earnestly in the bigger picture sense. Not everything you do has to be productive and honestly, learning to be okay with having fun is nice. Just being okay with who you are right now, even if it isn’t perfect in your eyes, you still have time to build upon yourself and your own talents but doing it for yourself. 
But I probably missed the point and I’m going way to deep haha. But I really enjoyed reading this and thank you once again to okita anon for the recommendation^^ I always love everything you send me and I’ll start reading the next one. If anyone else has any recommendations let me know! 
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collaborationfandom · 4 years
Note
Could I have a fluffy Bam x reader, when the reader is a tsundere and Bam is trying to get closer to her pls?
I wrote this and it got deleted.... ARGHH ㅠㅠ why is life like this
Now i need to write this again.
Anyways I haven’t written thing in foreverrrr sorry bout that
Also warning that this writing has a lot of swear words... but then again I always swear in my writings sooooooooooooo.
Anyhow! Tsundere reader x Bam, LEGGO
I’ll be making it season 1 since there seem to be a lot of anime onlys
So y’all first met on the first floor, ya’know (where the reduce 400 ppl to 200 thing happened).
And this happened before meeting Khun.
As bam stood up, he noticed a dude, coming up to stab him (this mother fuc-) and on instinct, he held up ‘his’ needle, closing his eyes shut.
But instead of his head falling off, he heard “BITCHHHHHHHH-“ and the sound of a body dropping towards the ground.
To see what the commotion was about, he opened his eyes and saw-
Oh god.
Love at first sight is real.
He saw your gorgeous figure, veiled with sunlight as-
“Fuckin’ Hell! Do you realise how rude you are? Who the fuck steals someone’s shit when they’re sleeping? HUH?? ㅗㅗ”
Oh. That’s some vulgar language.
“T-Thank you for saving me.”
You raise an eyebrow.
“Hm? I didn’t save you for shit. It‘s just that this asshole, stole my shit so I decided to fuck him up.”
Was swearing always this attractive?
“But-“
By the time he collected his thoughts and tried to talk to you again, you were already walking off, too far away to hear him.
The second time he met you, was during lunch after the crown game.
Since you were a fishermen, and because of that,you were kinda friends with Endorossi (her reason being you’re ‘pretty’ (if you’re a dude, you were pretty so she made the exception.) but added “Not as much as me”)
When Bam saw you, his eyes literally lit up with joy, running over to where you were.
“Do you remember me?”
“?? The fuck, who?”
You swore that he had imaginary dog ears deflating towards the ground.
“Oh. You’re the boy from last week, right? On the first test.”
“Yeah! I am! You remembered me! Hehe”
Bam, being Bam, had no sense of personal space or communication, so he leaned up, quite close to your face.
Which you responded with immediately standing up, walking away, but Bam failed to noticed the rising blush on your face and ears.
He really, REALLY wanted to talk to you, get to know you, and all that bonding stuff, yet you were either always occupied or just gone.
And since he didn’t really know how to get to know you, he decided to wing it, although he knew how risky that was.
So the next day, he was going through his normal routine, as well as trying to find you.
But surprise surprise,
He let out a small yelp as he was pulled to a corner, by his collar.
And when he looked up/down (idk how tall y’all are) he saw you. Oh wait. You? YOU???? OH SHIT! He was NOT ready for this!! He didn’t see this coming. Um. What to do now? He didn’t want to embara-
“Oi. I’ve snap out of it!”
Well that definetly worked.
“Why the fuck were you following me this whole week?? You a fuckin’ creep or some shit?”
“No I-“
“Don’t wanna hear it, just leave me alone”
“Wait-!”
When you took a sharp turn to leave, he pulled you by the arm, putting you back in place, but calming yourself, you asked him what the fuck his problem was.
“I-.. Uh.. Hmmmm. I just-“
“Get to the point already!”
“I want to get to know you!!”
“Wha-“
That’s when Bam thought he fucked up but according to your red-as-fuck face and a fluster expression, he decided that maybe you didn’t hate him as much as he thought.
“T-Then you should have just talked to be instead of following me around, dumbass!!”
“But I didn’t know how..”
“...Tch, fine”
So that’s how y’all became uh.. friends. Yeh. JK, y’all have a fuckin crush crush, its adorableeeeee. :D
(A/N) - I haven’t written in forever, and sorry about the delay!! If you take IB course for HS, you’d know my pain. I’m currently taking Bio, Chem, Psych for my HLs and I honestly don’t even know why I decided to start this blog right before Junior year. I did start it for stress relieve which, it does XDDDD. Anywaysssss, I hope y’all enjoyed the writing!
- Mod Hawks <3
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beecherdrysdale · 3 years
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Yesss our friendship is amazing! Lexi + Brigid !! And Kesh!. Yes, Jamie Drysdale we owe you for starting our friendship:)
Resistance band training was annoying and I think it made my hips bigger lol-muscle wise. I’m sad about your joint problems.
I wanna come visit!! You should come here too so that I can show you around Canada ! It could be a fun road trip since you can literally drive everywhere. We can pick up the boys in different provinces lol. I despise a lot of my teachers as well. So twinssssss!!
Haha yesss ! Work Jamie work! I’ll switch over to another guy soon lol . Who’s next?. While I’m doing that you are teaching the boys to swim! Go Brigid!.
Okkkk Imma go make black. T-shirts now- it’ll have you and Dylan together on it. I’ll wear it always hehe. Haha thank you!! I forgot that in the states you write colour as color. Hehe okkk Braden is safe then:) honestly he would be a good cushion to fall on :)
Is it weird that I actually see that happening?! Me and Ryan being psycho on a jet ski lol . I’m not gonna lie, the amount of swearing and laughing that would be happening hehe. Yes you and dylan being the cutest on a jet ski. I am am loving the chin on your shoulder 🥺🥺 ooo him clutching your waist 😏😏 kesh is just filming us lol. She’s just laying on top of Kirby hehe.
Awww I love the braiding our hair idea. Quinton would dominate! Also Kesh- I also forgot about Devon but then I thought long and hard about who has great hair so thats how i landed on him . haha yes the boys would get so competitive! Awww Dylan and Jamie braiding your hair 🥺🥺 I love that! Wow how long is your hair? I used to have pretty long hair but then I started choking on it when I played tennis lol, it also got caught on my racquet strings hehe. It’s now past my shoulders but shorter than mid back. Honestly I just love when somebody braids my hair . I reserve Jamie and Dylan to start w your hair !
Ok I like option 2, you dyl, quinner, me, than Jamie hehe. Also why do I see Dylan jumping in first and helping you get in🥺 adorbs. Haha now I can hold onto quinner and Jamie onto me ;)). I will frame the photo.
I’m good with any colour! small will totally fit. Brigid i love you too:) also when I was reading this I was like who the fuck is Lexi? And then I realized that was me 😂😂. I get your point now lol. I wouldn’t want to go in skirt to school during the winter. Ya my school also doesn’t have heating so I wear like 4 layers hehe.
Tyyyy for believing in our dancing skills. Imma dance with everybody especially you. But I gotta let you have your moment with Jamie and Dylan. Quinner get ready to get tipsyyyyyyyyy
Ooo lucky with the fire pit in your house ! I wish . I love s’mores sm too. Honestly I was kinda imagining a bonfire on the beach, I’ve seen people have those and I’m always like I wanna do that too! Nah I feel like you say you have a bad voice but it’s actually amazing. You and Dylan need to harmonize! Or we can just chill and let the guys sing:) that would be funny. Aww yess is falling/cuddling the guys🥺 we’ve had a pretty adventurous vacay so far but there is more yet to come. Also imagine just everybody passing out and then waking up outside and everybody is just sleeping on each other? Idk I just see it. Yess bonfires make everybody look extra cute so pics are mandatory. Yes it does remind me of the end of mighty ducks 2!!
Waitttttt I have another good vacay idea, going to an obstacle park, like racing each other, going on a zip line. Partnering up with somebody to race another team!!
Also we have a debate going on.. we can’t decide who I would have moments with quinner or Braden, what do you think 🤔?
yes i love our friendship! you and kesh are amazing. and jamie, if you’re lurking on here we love you and we owe you lol
haha it’s ok i’m used to my joint problems at this point, so i don’t really feel them too much except if i have a really hard practice they’ll act up. but my sister just calls me an old lady lmao. i’m sorry the resistance band training made your hips worse, that sucks
yes you should definitely come visit, and then i’ll come back with you to visit you! and then we can go pick up all the guys lol. haha imagine driving with all of them, what do you think they would be like on a really long road trip? 
hehe oooh who do you want after jamie, maybe quinner? bc you’re already gonna be with braden for the chicken fight lol. and then i’ll just be chilling teaching everyone to swim. telling everyone guys you need to engage your core or else you’ll sink, a lot of people don’t seem to understand that concept lol. hehe yes wear the dylan + brigid shirt. and yeah i always forget that americans spell things weird lol, so then if i ever talk to anyone from canada, england, australia, etc i’m always like wait why did you spell it like that?
hehe yes i could definitely see you guys going psycho. the rest of us just swearing yelling at you bc we don’t want you to crash into us lol. yes i love the chin on the shoulder, that’s so cute 🥰 oooh dyl’s arms around my waist, getting a little spicy lol 😏 and kesh would just be chilling with kirby watching everything go down lol
ok yes quinton and devon just dominating in the hair department and the rest of them just being clueless lol. hehe jamie and dyl just trying to do my hair but it’s just knotting so i have to show them how. my hair hits the top of the waistband of all of my high-waisted pants so it’s super long, so yeah it knots suuuuuper easy especially bc it’s so thin and chlorine damaged lol. haha yeah i sometimes choke on mine when i play soccer, so that’s why i usually wear braids. yessss i love when people play with my hair too
ok, so we’ll go with option 2. and yes dyl getting in and then helping me in 🥺 i’m sure if jamie and quinner saw him do it one of them would do it for you too. yesss i need a framed pictures too. we could get matching frames!
hehe i need you to choose a color i can’t decide. haha i feel that, the first time someone said brigid in the tags i was like how do they know my name? not like i have it in my bio lol. and yes i fucking hate our uniforms and my dumbass school that refuses to give us heat. the teachers will be wearing like 10 layers and we aren’t allowed to wear sweats under our skirts or any hoodies, only the uniform quarter zips, which a lot of people don’t have
yesssss literally you and ryan would slay dancing, but then so would the two of us. literally it would be so fun to dance with everyone. and then having a cutsie moment with dylan or jamie. maybe once you got quinner tipsy and taught him the macarena you could convince him to do a slow dance with you. i mean if he’s tipsy enough you never know 🤷‍♀️
yessss i love having a firepit, but a bonfire on the beach would be the best (outer banks vibes again lol). nooo i promise my voice is bad. like not completely awful but pretty bad. i’m sure yours is better than mine. anyways, yes we’ll just let the guys sing while we just chill lol. yessss just cuddling on the beach and we’re all super tired and fall asleep and then we wake up in the morning and we’re all just like what? lol i can see it. and we’d definitely get cute pics!
omg yesssssss i love obstacle parks. ahaha racing each other across the obstacles, except we’ve already established some of them are scared of heights, so that would be interesting for them lol. me having to tell them to just trust the equipment bc i’m working at one this summer and ik how it works lol. and the ziplines for sure some of them would be freaking out and then we could chirp them lol
ok so i could definitely see you with either, but i’m gonna go with you with quinner just bc i know more about him lol. but if you were leaning towards braden, then go for it bc you would be super cute with either
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rnaryjune · 3 years
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(crawls out of my hole for my annual “first impressions”)
new season of bb let’s go???!
note: only based on cbs bios
Azah: okay first off this is literally nothing to do with her but the pink top just looks like so much of a hassle to put on lol. like it looks great don’t get me wrong i just wouldn’t want to try and wrestle with it >.< anyway she mentioned s4 so we’re off to a good start. she’s pushing hard against the showmances so we’ll see lol
Christian: okay im sorry but he kinda looks like this one dude i just recently worked with who was AWFUL....he likes zankie so that’s strike 2....i lowkey feel like the pupil thing is just to get ppl to look into his eyes lol
Hannah: Oh I like her, I’m probably gonna pick her for my draft. Grodner start rigging!
Brent: Brent? Brett? same thing basically. PASS.
Britini: Every time I think I’ve seen that name spelled every way a new way pops up. incredible. also how much does frankie pay cbs to make sure recruits say his name lmfao. anyway she’s probably nice but oh my god she’s gonna talk nonstop i can already tell. lowkey raven vibes but we’ll see lol
Derek: the literal opposite end of the spectrum, very careful with his words. don’t have a read on him yet because he gave me nothing to work with lol
Frenchie: I like the three words lmao. okay i thought he was our token gay because what straight guy goes by “Frenchie” but? anyway he seems alright for now. it’s weird looking at the 30s crowd because that’ll be me soonish....ANYWAY
Travis: This is the one mom’s gonna like calling it now. BRETT AND WINSTON?WHAT THE FUCK GET THIS GUY OUTTA HERE. “I’ve started multiple businesses since high school and have been sued by massive titans of industry.” oh my god i can’t stand him. he’s gonna end up winning but i wish him first boot
Alyssa: please don’t be an annalise. yea so she’s def gonna be travis’s showmance. even though she could totally do better.
Tiffany: “i utilize my alter ego” is this actually gonna come up or is this gonna be like cory’s “i sleepwalk” things. anyway i would love to see her go far but unfortunately there’s gonna be practically no support system for her
Xavier: oh my god he’s the hottest guy they’ve got. AND he knows chilltown. DRAFT PICK. MY MAN KNOWS DANIELLE REYES GRODNER RIG PLEASE I BEG. (def my fave so far please let him go far PLEASE)
Sarah: oh.....she’s kinda cute. SHE KNOWS ABOUT THE ANTS THIS GIRL HAS A TUMBLR I GUARANTEE IT. she hates moths/butterflies SAME GIRL. she sorta reminds me of myself and idk if that’s good or bad yet lmao.
Christie: i don’t have much here but i like that she likes hayleigh.
Whitney: i just have kaitlyn vibes. that’s all. (her strategy is legit tho)
Derek: I’m....there’s 2 Dereks? what is this, The Good Place? hehe. anyway he’s kinda cute. curious about the jellyfish story.
Kyland: OH HEY. also kinda cute but lbr Xavier is THE hottest guy they got this season. but I think Kyland’s a close second :) that being said oh my god why’d this man write a full-on essay for his bio sir pls i have things to do. that being said i really like this guy, draft pick.
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starshine-selfships · 3 years
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Hello ! I hope this email finds you well hehe if you do asks in this blog; 💐 How did you and pouf meet ?💐☺️
Thats a GREAT question actually It was definitely a bit of a rough start but getting to watch him slowly warm up to me was a reward in and of itself 💕 (and yes!! I'm pretty much always open for any kind of asks!)
The short answer: The first time I saw him he was out in the middle of the woods furiously playing violin by himself, which surprises exactly no one lmao
The long answer:
I'd gone for a walk to get some time to myself and to check out the woods themselves since the whole area was completely new to me. Against literally all better judgement, the loud violin in the woods drew me in, especially since my family was so sure that there weren't any other people for quite a distance. I'm not sure what he was playing but he never even noticed me getting closer and listening; not only were his eyes shut, but he was also throwing every possible technique and ornamentation into his playing like he was trying to test himself and it honestly intimidated me just a little, lmao.
After a few days of observation, I did finally work up the nerve to tell him that I liked his playing; I had to wait until I was finally familiar enough with a piece just to try to be able to start a conversation at least (also this is a world where I actually listen to pieces instead of just reading composer bios, rip) and I was NOT well-received lmao. He didn't take too kindly to being interrupted but at least looked mildly amused when I'd said that his rendition was the best I'd heard yet. He didn't say anything and after a solid couple seconds of awkward silence and staring at each other, he just went back to playing. He didn't tell me to leave so I took it as meaning that I could stay and listen, provided I didnt say or do anything else.
Pretty soon it was an every day thing, walking around the same time and finding him in the same spot, artistically grinding away at something. He gradually started getting less hostile and even started taking song requests as personal challenges (especially since his focus is baroque while mine's more romantic era). He'd occasionally mention things that had nothing to do with music, just an out of context thought or name, but he'd never actually elaborate on it and would just act like it wasn't all that important anyways.
Oddly enough, things ended up really taking off when he started using his cryptic statements as jumping off points for questions for me. He seemed genuinely curious and we'd spend a lot of our meeting time just talking back and forth, but it still kinda felt like I had to pry responses out of him because he just?? never answered back after asking me things? It was almost as though he was really resistant to talking about himself and all my questions fell flat. He finally started opening up when I didnt leave him with room for an ambiguous answer when I went in a bold direction and started asking about the unnatural skin tone and antennas.
But tbh that felt like a huge breakthrough! He was actually responsive enough for it to feel like a genuine conversation. He'd change topics rapidly in conversation with no obvious connection or reason, but then saw me do the exact same thing except I'd verbalize how I made the leaps and jumps, and that's what really seemed to warm him up. He seemed almost excited about me sharing his thinking patterns and if he didn't like talking before, he made it clear now that he was enjoying himself and that this could be the start of something really wonderful ❤
Tl;dr - found a musician out in the woods and asked him why he was a bug, then proceeded to bond over metacognition
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13lov · 5 years
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lucy (m)
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pairing: pornstar!taehyung, tattooed!taehyung x pornstar!reader
genre: pornstar au, humor, smut, light f2l, angst if you squint.
word count: 8,305
summary: after reading a few more titles of the videos you’ve uploaded, taehyung has come to the conclusion that you’re the hottest fucking dumbass he’s ever seen and so desperately wants to fuck.
warning(s): smut (masturbation, sex toys, unprotected sex, fingering, creampies ; mention of: face fucking, squirting, gxg), !ENDGAME SPOILERS!.
a/n: inspired by that video of taehyung with the fake tattoos…good lord… sorry i posted this later than i said i would, some stuff came up :( not proofread so i apologize for mistakes.
With one final thrust into the petite girl beneath him, Taehyung was fast to pull his dick completely out of her with the sigh of relief. Sure, he sighed because it was in the script, but he would’ve done it even if it weren’t apart of the porno.
He flopped on the bed, right next to the girl who was playing the role of his horny step-sister. He visualized the script in his head, and waited a few seconds before turning to his co-star and saying, “I gave you what you wanted, now, can I have my skateboard back?”
“AND CUT!” the director yells, standing up from his chair across the room. Taehyung’s manager, Seokjin, enters the set with a bathrobe in one hand and water bottle in the other and hands Tae both. “Everyone did a great job today! Remember to report back here tomorrow at two for the promo shoot, got it?!” the director asks, and everyone confirms they’ll be there.
Taehyung stands up from the messy bed to put on his bathrobe while his former co-star, Rosie, covers herself in the sheets. ‘If you’re so fucking shy, why are you doing porn?’Taehyung thinks to himself, annoyed.
“You did really good, I enjoyed it. And, you’re an amazing actor. Not many stars are good at acting, but you are.” Rosie compliments sweetly and Taehyung feels bad for what he originally thought of her.
“Thanks,” is all he can say to her because (1) he can’t compliment her back because it would be a lie and there’s no need for that, (2) he’s not interested in talking to her, and (3) he’s ready to head back to his trailer and take a shower. “See you tomorrow,” he adds, because he doesn’t want to seem like one of those stuck-up pornstars he hates so badly.
He then leaves the rented airbnb home and takes the quick walk to his trailer with Jin right by his side. “What’d you think?” Taehyung asks.
Seokjin makes a face as he thinks of an answer. “It was…decent. Not your best.”
Tae scoffed, offended, “It wasn’t my porn, I’m only here to get her some clout. You think I enjoy wasting my time with newbies when I could be with a professional? Hell no!” his rant goes on as he approaches his white trailer, opening the door and holding it so Jin can walk in first (because he’s polite like that).
“Then why film with newbies when you hate it so much? Oh wait, because their team is willing to pay big money for the number one pornstar on ‘nexxxtdoor.com’. That’s why.” Seokjin stated once he entered the trailer and sat on the white couch, Taehyung following shortly behind.
Jin was right, Tae was the number one star on the number one porn site in the country. Maybe people were drawn to his blonde mullet that was usually accompanied by one of his many headbands, or maybe it was the floral tattoos decorated nicely across his neck that drove people crazy. But it was probably just the plain old fact that Taehyung was hot, had a pretty dick, and knew how to use it.
“You’re damn right about that,” Tae says, stripping himself of his bathrobe and little clothing. He doesn’t bother to lock to door of the trailer or even cover himself up in front of Seokjin; everyone had already seen him naked, all boundaries have burned down.
“God, I’m so hot,” Jin says suddenly, and Taehyung looks over to see his manager has moved to stand directly in front of the mirror above the couch, looking directly at his reflection. “Maybe I should start doing porn just to give you a run for your money.”
“Ha!” Taehyung laughs, walking to the standing shower and turning on the hot water. “As gorgeous as you are, I’m a pretty tough guy to beat. Aren’t those two guys still fighting for second place? What are their names?” Taehyung snaps his fingers as tried to remember the names of the two porn stars fighting for second place like a bunch of losers.
“Suga, and uh, that Jimin guy. But they actually dropped a few places…” Seokjin’s tone changed, he seemed nervous.
“Oh, yeah?” Tae asked, stepping into the hot shower, “Have people finally gotten bored of them?” He grabs the white bar of soap from its appropriate holder and begins to cleanse himself, starting off with his neck and shoulders.
“Not exactly, people still like them, there’s just this…uh…”
“Spit it out, Jin.” Taehyung demands, moving the bar of soap down to his chest and belly. Small, white bubbles form at the surface but are quickly washed away with the water pouring down from the shower head.
“There’s this new girl who’s going viral really quick; she’s number two.” Jin admits with a nervous cough.
“A girl,” Taehyung repeats, “I like girls. She must be pretty good if she’s growing so quickly.” It’s true; (Taehyung does indeed like girls) it took Tae two years to become number one on nexxxtdoor, so whoever was able to pass stars as good as Jimin and Suga in such a short amount of time had to be fucking amazing.
“She sure is…something. Her name is ‘Lucy Fer’; look her up when you get home. But, yeah, I’m off to go pick up your next script; see you later.” Jin leaved without another word, and Taehyung is still in the shower.
“Lucy Fer…” he repeats in a whisper, “Lucy Fer…”
Taehyung does as he’s told later that night and types in the name of his possible nemesis on nexxtdoor.com. He clicks the little arrow and the search results pop up in a matter of seconds; your channel popping up in full display.
LUCY FER  ✓ @lucy_fer im basically a youtuber that taker her clothes off hehe </3 4.7M Subscribers | 192 Videos | Joined 1 Year Ago
Taehyung is confused by your biography, but decides he’ll find out what you mean after looking at some of your videos. And, just by the titles alone, he can see why so many people enjoy watching you:
FUCKING MYSELF WITH A DILDO WHILE I THINK ABOUT MY FUCKBOY EX :( 1,343,400 views
FAILED MATH CLASS BUT I STILL KNOW HOW TO SQRT **NOT CLICKBAIT** 3,473,621 views
ex bf fucks my face while frank ocean plays in my airpod$!!# (ft. namjoooooon) 2,372,084 views
After reading a few more titles of the videos you’ve uploaded, Taehyung has come to the conclusion that you’re the hottest fucking dumbass he’s ever seen and so desperately wants to fuck.
It’s weird for him to feel desperate for the girl literally coming for his career, especially when he hadn’t even seen you in action yet. And for that reason, he doesn’t like you. Does he think you’re hot? Yes. Does he want to fuck you? Of course. Does he dislike you? Actually, yes, but only becaus you’re
He sighed, straightening up in his desk chair as he kept his eyes on the illuminated screen in front of him. Curiosity got the best of him and soon enough, he was scrolling past all of your videos until he gets to your very first one:
GIRL GETS SUPER WET AFTER FEELING APPRECIATED 15,192,604 views
He notices that in every thumbnail, you’re wearing a pair of red devil horns and when you’re very rarely accompanied by someone else, they’re also wearing their own set of horns, identical to yours. Even in your display picture, it’s an up-close photo of you, your hair is down and it’s dripping wet, the devil horns are on full display, and your tongue is stuck out with a lit lighter dangerously close to it.
You’re the devil. Satan. Lucifer. Lucy Fer and oh, he finally understands your stage name.
He smiles lightly and shakes his head in realization. Taehyung’s about to close the laptop and call it a night - he has a long day tomorrow - but, he decides just watching oneof videos wouldn’t hurt. I mean, you are his competition, right? He has to see why you’re so popular.
Taehyung scrolls for a few seconds before clicking on a video titled “masturbating and crying about how broke i am (ft. namjoon aka my ex bf lol)“.
The video buffers quickly, taking Taehyung by surprise. For some reason he pauses it, grabs his laptop whole, and makes his way over to his king-sized bed. He tells himself it’s because he’s going to fall asleep afterwards, but he knows that he’s retreated to the bed for other reasons.
Once he’s in a comfortable position with the Macbook in front of him, Tae finally hits the triangle-shaped button and the video plays.
Your bed and pillows are the only thing in the frame at first, then you step in and sit on the edge of the bed. You’re wearing a red skater skirt that’s a tad bit short, a lacy, black bralette, and your signature devil horns.
You stare at the camera in silence for awhile and Taehyung wonders when you’re finally gonna get down to business. That’s when the camera suddenly zooms in on your face, on the single tear that comes from your left eye and makes its way down your cheek.
"Oh,” Tae says, shocked. He wasn’t actually expecting you to cry, though the title said you would.
The camera zooms from out of your face and goes back to the full body shot of you on the bed. “Why the fuck am I so broke?” you ask, there’s a smile on your face, but another tear slips from your eyes. Taehyung then decides for himself that you are a fucking maniac.
With the way the video is edited, Tae feels like he’s watching one of those popular YouTubers; like Emma Chamberlin or Antonia Garza. Your bio had described you perfectly: you truly were just a YouTuber who took her clothes off, and everyone (including Taehyung) loved it. It was a great idea on your part, since literally no one else made homemade porn the way you did.
With you, it felt so natural and relatable and not at all like the washed-up pornstars that came before you. Your viewers loved you, and they were so attached to you. Though you considered yourself to be just another lost, twenty-three year old, your viewers thought you were perfect because of how honest you are. Being so close to them, you didn’t even mind when they called you Y/N, your real name.
Even at times when you weren’t uploading videos or going live on nexxxtdoor, you held a PG-13 rated Instagram live that allowed you to speak to your supporters on a less intense platform.
You were thankful for them, and they were thankful for you.
In the screen in front of him, Taehyung watches and listens as you talk about your card getting declined at Starbucks as you unclasp your bra. You pull the black straps down slowly until they completely fall off your arms, your boobs spilling out nicely. Your nipples are hard because of how cold it is in your apartment, but you let the people watching think it’s because you’re horny.
Though only the top half of your body is bare, Taehyung still admires you. Many of the girls had had worked with had fake boobs or a fake ass for the most part, not that it was a bad thing, it was just nice to see something he wasn’t used to.
You’re complaining again, this time about how you received a parking ticket that morning and you have no clue how you’re gonna pay for it with the amount of student debt you’re in. With a sigh, you wipe away another pathetic tear before turning on all fours with your ass in view of the camera; the black thong underneath your skirt hardly hiding anything.  
Your hand reaches under your pillow and pulls out a white vibrator. It looks dull and worn out, but no one really expecting you to have a top of the line one that costs $100.
“The police officer that gave me the ticket was pretty hot, though,” you say whilst getting into your original position on the bed. Taehyung then pauses the video, not because you’ve done anything wrong, but because he’s now realizing his hand had slipped past his pajama pants and he had began to palm himself through his boxers.
He can’t jerk off to the enemy, it’d only give you more power. But, he can follow the enemy on Instagram.
So he does exactly that.
lucy_fer is live…come watch!
The little banner pops up on Taehyung’s screen, staying for a few seconds before disappearing in his notifications tab. He considers the tempting invitation as he stares at the YouTube video that had been playing before being interrupted.
Sure, it was just an Instagram live and it wouldn’t be that big of a deal if he watched. But, what if you thought otherwise? What if you thought he was only watching just so he could scope out his competition?
“Screw it,” Tae mumbled before pulling down his notifications bar and clicking on the Instagram banner. It loaded within a few seconds and soon enough, Taehyung’s presence had been announced in the stream.
k.taehyung has joined.
But your face was turned elsewhere, talking to someone who was out of view of the camera. Secretly, Tae was hoping you’d turn back in time to acknowledge that fact that he was watching. And, much to his luck, you turned back towards the camera just as his was going away.
“Three hundred already?” you asked, watching the view count go up. “You guys must be bored.”
nam_joonie yep. why dont u take that shirt off and put on a show.
You read your ex-boyfriend’s comment with a sigh, leaning back on your couch as more comments from new viewers filled the screen. “You all know Namjoon,” you said to the viewers, grabbing the cup filled with water that stood on the coffee table next to your propped up phone. “I apologize that my ex is such a perv.” You took a sip of your drink as you roommate, Jennie, leaned into the frame to read a comment that caught her interest.
pinkszn.lisa girl fuck your ex, kim taehyung is here
Once Jennie read the comment out loud the water in your mouth was done for with the way you had begun to cough it up in shock.
You had heard of Taehyung, of course, and it was a surprise enough when he followed you on Instagram a few hours ago. He was intimating, to say the least, with his tattoos and blonde mullet and headbands and…wow. In fact, he was so intimidating, you hadn’t even watched any of his pornos. You knew he was good at his craft and didn’t need to watch any of his stuff to prove it.
When you were able to finally catch your breath, you turned to Jennie, shaking your head in shock. “Stop lying,” you choked out.
Seeing this as a second opportunity from hod himself to make his presence known, Taehyung typed out a comment.
k.taehyung hi hahaha
Rainbow hearts continued to fill up the screen as you read Tae’s comment whith wide eyes. He was actually here, watching you awkwardly get choked up over him.
“Taehyung!” you said suddenly, probably a little too excited. You cleared your throat as a way to calm down, “I…we…” nervously, you looked towards Jennie with a desperate facial expression that yelled ‘help me’.
“Why don’t you…guest him?” Jennie suggested.
“Oh, yes! Can I guest you, Taehyung?” You asked hopefully, though you already had requested for him to join before he could process what was going on. Sitting up on his couch, he looked down at the floor where his housemates Jungkook and Hoseok were sat in front of the television watching whatever sports game was on.
Of course Taehyung could afford to live alone, but these truly were his best friends.
“I’m about to go live. Try not to talk too much.” he said.
“That was a terrible pass,” Jeongguk said to Hoseok, clearly ignoring Taehyung’s request as he kept his eye on the basketball game. “I could pass better than that.”
Hoseok shakes his head, grabbing a few pieces of buttery popcorn that sat in the bowl on his lap. “You can’t even play basketball that good.”
“My point exactly! I could pass better than Williamson and I’m not even good at basketball; that’s tragic.”
With an eyeroll, Taehyung accepts the request to appear in your stream and gets himself in position with his phone camera, taking off his thick, clear glasses only momentarily to properly capture his face in the frame. Seconds later, the stream connect and he appears on the bottom half of the screen with you on top.
You open your mouth in shock once Taehyung is on screen then bring an arm to cover your eyes. “Woah, Taehyung! No shirt?!”
“Woah, Y/N, no bra?” he fired back, pointing out the obvious fact that your nipples were clearly hard under the thin, white shirt you wore. To anyone watching, they could easily mistake the two of you for lifelong friends with the way you were comfortable enough to joke around like this.
Or maybe it was just cheesy pornstar humor.
Slowly, you brought your forearm down from your eyes and got a good luck at Taehyung. He was indeed topless, flower tattoos on full display along with the gold chain that hung loosely around neck. He was a gorgeous sight, to say the least, and it’s no wonder why so many people enjoyed seeing him preform such filthy acts on his partners; never the same person twice, but always getting them to cum more than once.
You then realize this is your first time getting at good look at Tae’s face, other than the few Instagram photos you skimmed through when he followed you the day before. You also then realize you’d been staring at him in awkward silence since you brought your arm away.
You clear your throat, “touché. It’s nice to, like, see you for the first time.”
Taehyung raises a brow, had you never watched any of his stuff? He wants to ask, but also doesn’t want to seem cocky; it’s not like you were obligated to watch his pornos.
He decides to ask, the curiosity is killing him.
“I’m guessing that means you haven’t seen my stuff…” he says.
Now you’re embarrassed and wish you could go back in time and never make that comment about seeing him for thee first time. But you can’t, all you can do is shake your head and say, “I’m sorry, I don’t watch porn.”
“You’re the second most watched pornstar in the country and you don’t even watch porn?” he asks, confused.
You realize how stupid you sound and become embarrassed again. “Wait, no! Not like that, I mean. I watch my own stuff and I have some friends who do porn and I watch them…but that’s for support. I don’t get off to them or anything. Not because I can’t! I just…don’t want to…masturbate to my friends.”
It’s silent as Taehyung tries to take in what you said.
nam_joonie suddenly im not bored anymore
Although you and Namjoon have been broken up for quite some time now, he still knew when you were nervous about something, and that’s exactly what you were now.
You pretend you hadn’t seen Namjoon’s comment the same way to choose to ignore Jennie’s silent laughter fit. “I know who you are, though, Kim Taehyung,“ you nod as if you’re trying to reassure him while Jennie tries her best not to pass out from second-hand embarrassment.
Tae tilts his head up when he chuckles and you’re given an even better view of his neck and the tattoos that accompany it. If given the opportunity, any person would love to leave little purple bruises up and down his throat. But not you (you weren’t like other girls (and boys for that matter)), too afraid to mess with the beautiful artwork that Taehyung truly was.
And on top of that, everything about him was cute and sexy at the same and it nearly made your head explode. For example: the fact that he had neck tattoos was sexy, and the fact that they were flowers and butterflies made it cute. His blonde mullet was sexy, and the baby pink headband he usually wore underneath it was cute.
Then there was his smile. The smirk was sexy, but his boxy smile is what made your heart flutter. You were beyond nervous.
“I love your tattoos,” you compliment, “do you have anymore?”
“Mmhm!” he hums excitedly and it seems like the butterflies on his neck have made their way down to your belly. He holds his left hand up, showing off yet another butterfly tattoo – a blue one. “And I have one one each thigh of a bird.”
nam_joonie omg taehyung ur tattoos are so hot ugh the sexual tension between u two is killing me just fuck one of her holes already!!!
Namjoon isn’t the only one commenting, but it’s the only comment your eyes let you see. Taehyung sees it to and wonders if your ex boyfriend’s bitter jealousy would be a problem in whatever relationship he’s trying to form with you.
“Maybe I will,” Taehyung says with a smirk and no context at all, but everyone had seen Namjoon’s comment – made it hard to miss with it being so long. If you had water in your mouth, you’d be choking on it. And Jennie, who was off to your side, had her jaw slacked open at Tae’s straightforward and risky reply.
user1 we-
user2 TEA !
user3 and i oop-
…And more twitter slang flood the chat. You and Taehyung stay on live for another half hour, Namjoon doesn’t comment again so you assume he left after what Taehyung said. The rest of the broadcast goes well, consisting of you and Tae joking and talking and flirting with Jennie occasionally making fun of you or one of his roommates yelling about the basketball game.
It’s nice talking to Taehyung, it’s like he’s managed to become your friend in the short amount of time you’ve talked to him. When he listens to you speak, he pays attention and doesn’t interrupt you. And when you interrupt him when he’s speaking, he doesn’t mind because he likes seeing you get so excited. He’s literally the perfect boy.
So perfect that you want to keep talking to him forever, even when your eyelids get heavy and demand sleep. Jennie has already taken a shower and would be heading to bed soon, and any other day you’d be following her footsteps by getting ready to sleep.
“You’re tired,” Taehyung says when you yawn for the third time in a row.
You bring you index finger and thumb together, creating little space between them. “Just a tad bit.”
“Then sleep, don’t you have class in the morning?”
You nod, “I’m probably gonna drop out anyway, but yeah I do.”
"Then sleep,” he repeats so kindly it makes you want to close your eyes right there just to please him. He’s taken his glasses off now (making a show of it when he did so) and you’re able to look into his eyes better.
“I’ll go to bed if you do,” you challenge.
Taehyung isn’t sleepy, but he should be going to bed anyway so he’s not tired for tomorrow’s early shooting. “Yeah, I’m filming tomorrow, I need to go to bed.”
There’s something about Tae saying he has to film tomorrow that makes your heart drop. It’s like, in the short amount of time you’ve known him, you forgot he was the most watched pornstar and mistook him for an everyday boy who had a normal job and a normal life that could sustain a normal relationship. But you should know by now, nothing in your life is normal, and you and Taehyung had the same career in completely different aspects.
“Okay,” you sigh, “goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Y/N.” he says before leaving the broadcast. He would’ve stayed on longer if his job wasn’t so demanding.
He waits a minute, and you’re finally done with your livestream. Then he waits, and waits, and waits until…
lucy_fer sent you a direct message.
It’s your phone number, along with a message.
lucy_fer / 1 min ago send nudes pls
Taehyung knows you’re joking, but considers sending a dick pic just to make you squirm. But he doesn’t, instead, he saves your number and sends a text of his own.
imessage today at 11:37 pm
no u
Withing the next few weeks, a friendship blossoms between you and Taehyung. You text everday now, and neither of you could be
You’ve uploaded more videos (to which Tae has jerked himself off to), and Taehyung has kept his title as number one and has starred in more films of his own (in which you was only to support because, again, you don’t watch porn).
It’s when he’s in his trailer with Seokjin getting ready to film another boring horny stepbrother when he get’s a text from you.
imessage today at 12:22 pm
i want to see u
in real life tho
like…i wanna meet u in real life
The last thing he texted you was a Jeongguk being stupid a few hours ago, so your lack of being able to respond quickly in this situation gave away the fact that this was something you had been thinking about a lot. He’s not too sure what to say in this sense. Yes, he’s your friend and wants to meet up with you, but what if something happens and changing the dynamic of your friendship? He cares for you the way a friend should (and probably a little more), and feels like you’re one of the few people who actually understand him. He definitely doesn’t want to lose you like Namjoon has.
He responds:
hmm, what prompted ur sudden interest in wanting to see me?
You’re quick to reply:
rmr a little while ago we talked about filming something together? u can come up here for a weekend, we could hang out and film something
taehyung:
so u only want me for my body?? i see how it is…
you:
oh quit it
so, what do u say? u can stay at my place
He tells you he’s going to think about it, but already knows he’s going to say yes. It’s all he can think about twenty minutes later when he’s fucking some redhead deep into the mattress. The sound of your girlish moans and gasps play so vividly in his mind, if he tries hard enough, he can pretend your sounds are coming from the girl’s mouth and you’rethe one he’s balls deep in.
And if he tries hard enough, he can pretend the little tuffs of the girl’s red hair that form against the pillow are your red devil horns.
And when he does try hard enough, he has to stop himself from cumming right then and there by distracting himself with other thoughts. He can’t think of you, of course – you’re the one who got him into this predicament in the first place.
Taehyung opens his eyes, trying his best to momentarily erase you from his mind. He looks down at the girl beneath him and is met with closed eyes and parted lips; her tongue was only slightly visible and was bit down on to stifle load moans.
The expression on her face is awkward, amateur almost, and Taehyung can’t stand it. He thrusts deeper, earning a high pitched moan from the girl and follows suit with a low groan.
He’s bored. Extremely bored. Then his mind drifts back to you, and he smiles because he’ll be seeing you in a few days. And for once, in a very long time, he’s excited for something. So excited that his boxy smile pays a visit and he has to bury his face in his co-star’s shoulder to cover it up.
Friday comes around rather quickly, and Taehyung finds himself halfway out of the front door with a duffel bag in his hand, saying goodbye to his roommates.
“No people, no parties, no dancing, no loud music, and Yeontan is the only animal allowed in this house. If I get a complaint from the neighbors, I swear–” Taehyung’s infamous exit speech is cut off by Jeongguk clasping a hand on his shoulder.
“Relax, hyung,” he says a little too calmly for Taehyung’s comfort, “nothing bad is gonna happen, don’t worry.”
The sound of tiny nails scraping against the wooden floor has made Tae forget what he was saying, only being able to focus on the beautiful dog running up to him.
He drops the bag, bending down to pet the fur and say goodbye to his faithful companion. “Please remember to take care of Yeontan; he’s very needy.”
“We will, I promise.” Hoseok says and Taehyung stands upright once again.
“It’s not you I’m worried about,” he adjusts the bag on his shoulder, “Gguk is the one that concerns me.”
Jeongguk scoffs, fake offended, “Me?! Why me?!”
“That time you went two days without food and didn’t even realize it.”
“That–I–it was for a gaming tournament! Plus, I drank Red Bull and that gave me all the energy i needed.” he tries to redeem himself, but it doesn’t work.
“Please just take care of my fucking dog,” is the last thing Taehyung says along with ‘goodbye’ before leaving his house.
The drive to your apartment is nearly two hours away, and Taehyung can hardly believe he’s going out of his way to hang out with a friend then have sex with her. It’s ridiculous yet so exciting. So…new.
You’re outside your apartment building when Taehyung arrives, heart beating out of both of your chest. He doesn’t leave the car, since the two of you agreed you’d go out in the city before coming back to your place, but you can already see he’s a lot taller in person. And a lot hotter, if that was possible.
You jog up to his Range Rover, the best looking car in the parking lot, and slide into his passenger seat. Before Taehyung is able to get a word in, you’ve already engulfed him into a tight hug. He’s thrown off his game by your sudden forwardness, but he doesn’t let it phase him. Instead, his arms find comfort around your waist, embarrassing you so tight and completely as if you’d melt away if he let go.
Then, you’re pushing him off of you, as if nothing happened.
“I can’t believe I’m here, with you, in your car. I bet so many of your fans would die to be in this position,” you run your fingers through your hair as a method to calm your nerves.
“And many other positions…” he jokes with a small smirk, handing you his phone so you can put in the address to the place you’re having lunch at.
“Touché,” you reply, and minutes later you’re on your way to a whole-in-the-wall cute, little restaurant. It’s mostly empty, so neither of you are recognized.
Taehyung picks a little table in the far corner by the window; just enough room for the both of you. He pulls out your chair, because he’s polite like that, before setting down your tray of food on the table and sitting down on his own seat.
“It’s raining,” you whisper, chin in the palm of your hand as you stare out the window.
Taehyung had started to place your food in front of you, but stops when he hears you speak. He looks up at you, and the only word he can use to describe you in this exact moment is ‘pretty’. Pretty, pretty, pretty.
He gulps, glancing out the window to see it had indeed began to rain. “Yeah,” is all he can say, because there’s not much you can say when you’re being taunted.
The sky is teasing him, as though it was saying, “ha ha, I can cry and you can’t”, because Tae is so at peace being here with you, he could actually cry. He’s happy for once, and wishes he didn’t have to hide it.
“It’ll be dark by the time the movie’s over,” Taehyung says while handing you your sandwich, “are we going straight to your place afterwards?”
“We can, I mean, it’s Friday and you don’t leave until Monday morning; we have the whole weekend to explore.”
Tae nods out of excitement but doesn’t show it. He’s been looking forward to filming with you and is happy you’re ready to do so as soon as possible. Now, he’ll just have to find a way to stop thinking or talking about it.
“So about the video we’re making today,” he takes a sip out of his lemonade.
“Oh yeah, I was gonna have my manager email yours to sort out some details, then I remembered I don’t have a manager–”
“Wait,” Tae raises a hand to silence you, “you don’t have a manager? Why not?”
Embarrassed, you slump back in your seat and shrug. “I dunno, I felt like I didn’t need one until now, honestly. All of my videos are filmed and edited by me and on the rare occasion I have someone to film with, they’re people I know personally; not big time…pornstars.” you whisper the last part because although the restaurant is mostly empty, you’re still in public.
“I’m literally just a YouTuber that takes her clothes off,” you continue.
“Even YouTuber’s have managers, don’t they?” he points out.
Before you can respond, your phone starts to vibrate on the table. “It’s Jennie,” you say, “do you mind if I…?” you hold your phone up with pleading eyes, claiming the call could be important. Taehyung says it’s fine and takes a bite out of his own sandwich while you accept the call.
“Yeah?…Oh, okay!…Can you tidy up before you go?…I know, but still…Great, have fun…Oh, shut up…Thank you, I love you…Alright bye,” Is all Taehyung hears from your forty-second conversation before setting your phone back down.
“That was my roommate, she just left for the weekend, so me and you have the apartment to ourselves.”
“You have a roommate?” Taehyung asks.
“Yeah, Jennie.”
“Does she know you do porn?”
“Mmhm, she was in my video before. I think I titled it: Pussy Is God.”
“Knowing you, you probably replaced the S’s with dollar signs.”
You smile, “You know me pretty well, don’t you?”
And he does know you pretty well. Just like he knows when the two of you are exiting the restaurant, you make sweater paws with your hands because you’re cold. So he holds your hand and let’s your fingers intertwine the entire walk to his car and tells himself it’s just platonic hand holding.
And when you’re in the theater watching Endgame, he feels your body tremble as you watch Iron Man take his final breath. You don’t cry, but Taehyung let’s the tear he was holding in fall from his eye. He doesn’t think you saw it, but you do, and later on he let’s you assume it’s the movie that made him cry. But really, it was you.
You had brought Kim Taehyung to tears.
Because when he’s with you, he isn’t thinking about his job or stress, or anything. Your presence had captured him and tricked him into thinking he, being the person he is, could handle being in a relationship; a serious one at that.
And that’s exactly what he was afraid of.
“Just admit it, you big baby. We basically went on a date.” You say hours later as you lead Taehyung into your apartment.
“Oh, you think so?” Taehyung asks as you flick on the light switch.
“Well, we had lunch, held hands, saw a movie, and we’re about to have sex so…yeah, I think it’s safe to say we went on a date.”
Upon entering your apartment, Taehyung notes it’s as small as you said it would be, but didn’t expect for there to be so many new, expensive appliances. Seriously, your fridge, flat screen television, and microwave all look so out of place in your crappy apartment. He assumes your porn money as started rolling in, but doesn’t ask.
“You wanna film now?” Taehyung asks, slipping off his shoes when you notices you doing the same.
“Why wait?” You ask with a devilish smirk, “I’m gonna change, but please, make yourself at home.”
You’re in your room getting dressed in your usual skirt, bra, and devil horns (and even a little bit of makeup because…fuck it) while Taehyung takes time to prepare himself with a mini prep talk while he waits.
“I’m ready if you are,” you call from your doorframe. Taehyung’s dick already feels like it’s stirring in his pants, so he tries his best not to look at you when he enters your room and sits on the edge of your bed, directly in front of your only camera.
“Are you ready?” you ask, a finger on the ‘record’ button.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” he replies.
You press record and sit down next to him.
“It’d be so funny if I just put in, like, clips of our first livestream together when you said you would fuck one of my holes,” you laugh, and Taehyung is amazed at how comfortable you became in a matter of seconds. You truly were a natural at this, and it put him at ease.
“Please don’t do that,” he replies, shaking his head.
“Im gonna do it, but, anyway…! I’m here with Kim Taehyung! And I have a gift for him!” You lean over to your bedside drawer to retrieve your gift for him, Tae lets out a desperate sigh when he gets a clear view of your ass.
“Usually, I have my co-star for the evening wear complimentary devil horns, right? But, for you, I went out and got you your own pair. They don’t look much different than mine or any other pair, but these are special…because they’re yours.” you pull the headband from behind your back and gently place it in his hands and watch as he stares at them for a moment.
Although they’re the same style of the ones of the ones usually featured in your videos, they’re different in some way. Newer. Cleaner. His to keep.
He stares at them in silence, making you nervous by the second, and you make a mental note to edit awkward Wii music in at this part. “..so do you like it, or…?”
Instead of responding, he moves his tattooed-hand up to his hair and removes his baby blue headband in a swift motion; replacing it with his new gifts. Out of his duffel bag, he pulls out a light pink supreme headband (similar to his infamous one) and gives it to you, claiming he also brought you a gift.
And for the sake of the porno (and because you like him so much without realization), you take off your devil horns and replace them with the headband he’s given you.
When Taehyung stares at you, he feels like his looking at his heart in human form. He can’t look away and sure as hell doesn’t want to. But, he’s not in love. He’s in lust and in like and all the things that come with having a crush because Jesus Christ he has the biggest, fattest crush on you, Y/N.
“Do I look like you?” you ask.
“Nope, you look way better,” he compliments.
You wave your hand in a motion that says, ‘as if’. He isn’t used to working without a script, but is too shy to ask how you plan on getting things started. And, like you read his mind, you instruct him to lay back on the bed, and he does so.
"What, are you gonna top me?” Taehyung asks with a cocky smile and a raised brow, elbows holding himself up as he watches you crawl over him until your faces are centimeters apart.
“You’d make such a cute, little bottom,” your lips brush against his with every word you speak, and yet, you’re still not kissing. “But no, just relax.” You might as well had been speaking a foreign language Taehyung had no knowledge of because he had no clue what you were saying; too distract by the fact that your lips were literally on his and you weren’t even kissing, though you both so badly want to.
“Kiss me, pussy,” is what you want to say to him, but you don’t. Your lips place delicate kisses down his neck, so soft and subtly and almost nonexistent, not wanting to cover up his tattoos with hickeys.
Your hands make their way down to his jeans until you’re undoing his belt and sliding it off with ease. With his elbows hosting himself up again, Taehyung watches you pull his jeans down all the way to his ankles until they’ve met the same fate as his Gucci belt. When you hook a finger on the waistband of his boxers, he stops you with a question.
“What’re you doing?” he slurs, and regrets asking such a dumb question because he already knows damn well what you’re gonna do.
“Gonna suck you off; is that okay?”
It’s more than okay, honestly. It’s just, Taehyung is a giver. His fans pay to watch him give and give and give until they’re watching his cum drip out of someone’s swollen cunt; he definitely wasn’t used to being on the receiving end of sex and couldn’t even remember the last time he’d gotten a proper blowjob.
He doesn’t respond verbally, only giving a light nod and running his tongue across his top lip.
Getting the answer you were hoping for, you tug off Taehyung’s boxers with a single finger, his cock springing free and laying flat against his abdomen. Precum leaks from his reddening tip and you can’t help but gasp at the euphoric sight. Taehyung smiles in delight when the soft noise leaves your mouth, and suddenly, he’d confident again.
Your hand makes it’s way to grab a hold of Tae’s cock, using the pad of your thumb to smear the seeping precum along his tip. He let’s out a moan of pleasure, already obsessed with the feeling of your small hand wrapped around his ever-hardening member.
Starting off with slow strokes, you lower your head until you’re inches away from his dick. You’re not even doing much, yet Taehyung feels like he could cum right now just by the way you’re looking at him; so dark and lustful and sinful, like the she-devil you truly were.
Without warning, your tongue presses itself alongside Tae’s tip, peppering the sides with small kitten licks. “Shit,” he mutters, eyes tightly shut. If he thought your hands were good, your tongue nearly sent him into overdrive.
The little kitten lick only last for a few seconds longer, and then your mouth is completely around him. He’s big around you, and it’ll take a bit of work if you plan on getting him to the back of your throat.
You pull your mouth away from with a pop, your free hand stroking off parts of him your mouth couldn’t reach quite yet. He’s still propped up on his elbows, watching as you get him off.
Your mouth is wrapped around him once again, and soon enough, his eyes are back to being shut as he takes in the warm feeling of your mouth. Taehyung fights the urge to buck his hips once you’re finally able to allow him deeper in your mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat as you fight off your gag reflex.
He even fights thee urge once you’ve gotten used to the feeling and began to slowly bob your head. He grabs a fistful of your hair tightly, earning a pleasing groan from you that vibrates around his dick. Pulling only a slight bit harder on your hair gets another reaction out of you, this time causing your left hand to work your way down into your panties.
The sight alone makes Taehyung want to replace your fingers with his own; watching his tattooed-hand disappearing into your underwear until his fingers are circling around your clit, slipping his fingers between your slick folds until they’re completely covered. He’d bring his fingers up to your mouth and whisper “taste yourself, baby, taste how wet you are for me,” then his fingers would be in your mouth, licking your juices clean. And he’d bring his hand back down to your cunt, calling you his good girl while we thrusts his fingers in and out of you.
But that can’t happen, at least not tonight while you were recording and, oh fuck…he was so caught up, Taehyung forgot this whole thing was being filmed.
“Shit, fuck, stop it,” he instructs, knowing he’d release right then and there if you kept this up.
“Something wrong?” you ask, your big doe eyes peering up at him with your mouth glistening with his precum. You looked so innocent yet so sinful and it drove Taehyung so crazy.
He’s taking his shit off, leaving him completely naked and you follow suit. “I shouldn’t be selfish,” he says when you’re leaning over him, hardening nipples brushing against his own chest. “You need to get off too, right?”
You grin with a nod before finally kissing him. It’s not a cute, first kiss you’d imagined it being, but it was something. Sloppy, messy, and horny.
When he tries to lift you up to lay you on your back, you stop him by pulling away from his lips and harshly grabbing his shoulder blade. “I’m going to top.”
Taehyung chuckles because he thinks your joking, and when he realizes you’re being serious, he shakes his head. “Absolutely not,” his dominant side had slowly began to show.
“That’s what you think,” you say, and reach down to grab his cock. He decides there’s no point in fighting you on this since your mind is made up and admits defeat by replacing your hand with his and rubbing his tip against your folds.
Your grip onto his shoulders to steady yourself, eyes closed while you let him tease your entrance. His tip lazily brushes circles on your cunt, and you can’t help but a let out a high-pitched whine when he’s finally inside of you.
His thrusts are slow at first, giving you time to stretch out around him. “Okay,” you sigh, once you’re finally ready for harder, deeper thrusts.
“You wanted to top so badly,” he says, “you do all the work.”
You let out a laugh but deiced it’s fair, so you rock your hips against his, grabbing his thighs to hold onto in the process. You’ve just started, but the feeling of Taehyung finally inside of you after all these weeks already has the both of you moaning, thankful your roommate was out of town.
Your head is thrown back now as you keep the steady pace, hair sticking to the sweat on your back while Tae keeps a firm grip on your waist. His eyes are still closed in fear of releasing right then and there if he opened his eyes to see the sight of you on top of him.
“Taehyung…I–I–” you’re barely able to talk, so close to your climax you can hardly get a word out.
“You wanna come?” he asks, fingers moving down to massage your clit, adding all the more reason for you to orgasm.
“Please,” you whine, although it’s not like Taehyung has told you to ask for permission to come, this is just you in your natural state. And he loves it.
“Then come,” he says, and your orgasm rips through you, the type that has your eyes rolling back and body shaking. Tae can’t help but do the same moments later, the feeling of your cum dripping around him a little too much to handle. The inside of your walls are splattered white, but you don’t mind much; at least you’re on the pill.
The two of you pant as you come down from your highs, both exhausted at this point. And you, being yourself, reach down to give Taehyung a high-five, to which he accepts with a laugh.
“That was fun,” you say, just now rising off of him and trying your best not to groan at the feeling of emptiness.
“Yeah,” he agrees, “you’re good at your job.”
You accept and return the compliment before turning off the camera and excusing yourself in the bathroom.
Alone with his thoughts, Taehyung flops backwards on your bed and recall what has just happened. He’s scared, he feels like you’ve trapped him in your heart, like a caged animal. He knows he shouldn’t have feelings for him, but he can’t help himself; you were absolutely perfect in his eyes.
When you enter the room again and lay down next to him, he thinks about how little he cares about anything other than you. He doesn’t care if his career doesn’t allow it, what his friends will say, or what his fans will say. He only wants you.
“Y/N?” he calls softly, turning his head to look at you.
“Yes?”
“Will you be my girlfriend?”
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peach-pops · 4 years
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hi bby could i maybe get a romantic haikyuu matchup🥺👉🏻👈🏻 im a straight female w she/her pronouns. im just under 5'1 w medium-long straight blonde hair that i usually leave down or in 2 french braids and have blue eyes. in summer i wear flowy cute shirts and graphic tees w jean shorts and in cooler weather leggings and sweater, and i basically live in Birkenstocks lol. I love reading, playing video games (Pokemon, overwatch, Minecraft, Skyrim etc) sewing/costuming, acting/musical theatre 1/2
im v active/athletic & love hiking/backpacking, surfing, gymnastics, etc. Im often both the mom and baby of the group and always try to be available, helpful, & caring to the people around me esp friends. Im v responsible & respectful but when Im around friends it can def turn into crackhead hours. i look for someone who can make me laugh & puts in equal effort into a relationship, & tbh im probably a lil touch starved oop. My anthem would probs be everybody wants to rule the world hehe 2/2💖
I’ve never heard anything more relatable than “both the mom and baby of the group”. It makes no sense but at the same time, I completely understand. I hope you like your ship and btw Sweetheart,You’re Glowing is literally one of my fav Shinsou pieces 🥰 Matchups are open and you can find the rules here or in my bio!
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I ship you with Bokuto!
I don’t think just anyone can handle Bokuto’s chaotic personality, but your active personality is a perfect match for him. If hiking, surfing, AND gymnastics doesn’t wear you out, being with Bokuto is a BREEZE!
There will be occasional days where you two would lounge around and relax at home but for the most part, your weekends would consistent of leaving pretty early in the morning and then arriving back at home fairly late in the evening. 
I’m talking jam-packed dates that last HOURS cause ya know it’s always an adventure with Bo. There’s a nature ground not too far from where you two live so you can bet you both work it into your routine but no matter how many times you both hike, it’s always a diff experience each time
“ WOAH Y/N! Check this lil guy out!”
“ Wah- don’t touch it! You don’t know where that lizard has been!”
“ Aw but babe! It looks like Tsuki!” 
“ Bokuto that’s kinda rude- oh wait it kinda does...”
Also, lets take a moment to imagine Bokuto learning how to surf
I don’t think he’s too clumsy but I think he would have a hard time trying to stay up on the board BUT unlike volleyball, everytime he fell off (no matter how nasty of a fall it was) he would always swim back up and smile back at you like “ Ah one more time! I think I got it down!” 
The funniest part would be while you two are on your boards waiting for a wave and because this man can’t physically be quiet, he’ll say the weirdest things
“Babe-There are fish in here-like actual fish swimming and living in the water.”
“ Uh yeah dude, it’s the ocean.”
“ Do you have a favorite fish? Mine is an octopus but Kuroo says that they aren’t considered fish which doesn’t even make sense since they live in the water and swim-what do you think?”
“ Sorry Bo but Kuroo is right, an octopus is a cephalopod, ya know like a squid or whatever.” 
“...damn it...”
( to cheer him up, you bought him a lil octopus plushie and now, it’s his favorite so good job of feeding his addiction of animal plushies)
One day before a game of his, he INSISTED on trying to learn how to french braid your hair and you were a bit hesitant since it probably wouldn’t turn out the best but you can’t ignore a pouty Bo u just cant. 
Of course, you were right and the braids were a lil messy and he got sooo emo so to cheer him up, you told him you would wear the braids to his game (even tho yes they were REALLY sloppy) and I swear he visably swooned 
The best thing about dating Bokuto is that he really does his best to make sure you’re always happy and content. Whether it’s him asking a billion times “are you sure you’re not cold?” and then still giving you his jacket even when you say no or him trying to do terrible impressions of his teammates to make you laugh when you’re feeling down, he always puts you first
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