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harrysgloves · 3 years

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This Will Be Our Year

Summary: Harry comes home with you for your family New Year’s dinner.

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: Language. Shitty families. Smut/ Harry’s got a filthy mouth.

A/N: Okay, lets all pretend that I got this out on Saturday instead of Tuesday... Big shout out to @meetmeinfleetwood for making this “to lovers” fic challenge. It was the first fic challenge I’ve ever done! And I loved trying to figure this one out.

I picked ‘Friends to Lovers’ with the prompts: “You think anyone heard us?” & “You keep that photo of us in your wallet?”

>>>

You didn't miss the upward turn of your best friends' lip when you anxiously readjusted the hem of your dress for the millionth time. You didn't even bother trying to steady your shaky hands as they tugged down on lacy black fabric that touched a few inches above where you normally wore your skirts or shorts

"Stop it." You huffed as he let out the tiniest breath of a laugh at your struggle.

"Sorry, love, think y'look great." He smiled that lazy half smirk that made your stomach flutter but you had no time to worry about that right now. No, right now, you were on your way to visit your parents for the first time in a year.

The excuses of being busy with work, having no time to travel, not having the money for it, or literally any other excuse you could come up with had finally stopped working. Your mother fully demanded for you to come back home for the traditional New Year's dinner your family had every first weekend of the new year. You would have said no, but the second her disappointed voice floated in from the other end of the phone, you knew there was no way out.

You deeply loved your immediate family. It was the extended family that you could go without. The bitchy cousins who always seemed to be doing better in life than you. Know-it-all Aunts who gave you unwelcomed dating advice or worse, they'd sit and examine why you didn't have a man

"Yeh sure 'bout this?" He asked from the driver seat, his hand grasped on the wheel so tight you could see his knuckles turning white. "We could fake sick or somethin' if yeh want out. Bad gas station sushi, maybe."

A smile broke across your solemn face. The snort of a laugh that creaked out of your lungs washed a bit of relief over Harry. His hands gently lifted pressure from the wheel.

"Gas station sushi is the best you could come up with?" You teased from beside him, head turning just in time to see that dimpled smile you loved so much.

"Wha' not believable?" He grinned, playful green eyes shot your way before focusing back on the road.

You shook your head no as silence fell over the car again. Only one more turn and you'd be there.

"If yeh get uncomfortable, just tug on my shirt and we'll go, yeah?" He said as the gravel from your parents driveway crunched under the car's weight. Your stomach churned at the sight of everyone else already there. Anxiety flaring deep inside of your body, your chest suddenly felt tighter even when you let out a deep breath.

"It'll be okay." Harry said after a moment of letting you try to calm down. His ring filled hand enveloped your own shaky hand that rested on your lap. A calm washed over you from his touch. His warm hands melted away the troubled feeling that was lurking in the depths of your soul.

"I'm sorry in advance for whatever they say." You mumbled, giving his hand a squeeze. You missed the small up turn of his lips from your action, the way his cheeks tinted the softest shade of pink. You thought his cough was to dismiss what you'd said, not knowing it was him trying to himself that you only saw him as a friend.

"'M pretty sure I can handle them, love." He smiled even though you shot him a very unimpressed look. "Wha'? I survived Simon Cowell, think I got yeh family."

"Shut up." You chuckled as you brushed your hand off your leg. The other flung open the car door before you had a chance to chicken out.

>>>

Dragging Harry along for this dinner was the best idea you'd ever had in your whole life. Your family's attention was so far off you that you barely talked the hour before dinner and Harry was handling all the attention like a champ. His hand pressed to your lower back as your uncle grilled him about every famous person he'd ever met.

"Wait, so you're telling me that you know The Mick Jagger?" Your uncle looked a second away from breaking into a full out fangirl attack. Your lips rolled in your mouth to stifle the laugh that was bubbling in your throat before a harsh squeeze on your hips from Harry had you glaring daggers into him.

He nodded his head full of soft flowly curls, that you always wanted to run your fingers through, before shooting a smirk down to you.

He was living for this. He loved being able to touch you, lead you around to talk to people. Adored when you playfully shoved him with your shoulder when he said something embarrassing about you. He tried to be as cool, calm, and collected as he could but when you fully leaned into his side his breathing caught in his throat. His hand pressed tighter into you, mostly to hide how much it was quivering from your closeness.

He had tried for over a year to come up with a way to tell you he wanted to be more than a friend. If he was being honest with himself, he wanted to be more since the night you two met, but he was too insecure about himself to speak up. You were just so vibrant. Your laugh, your smile, the way you talked with demand but was always such a sensitive soul.

He was absolutely fucked for you and you had no damn idea.

You always thought he was too out of your league to even begin to entertain the want of something else with him. He was the great Harry Styles and well, you were just you. You, who happened to be friends with Glenne, who dragged you to a bar for a karaoke night almost two years ago. The rest between you and him was history. You'd gotten along so well and at first, you thought, it might have turned into something more, but he never tried anything more than stupid flirty banter which he seemed to do with just about anyone. So, you dropped it. Moved on. Now he was just Harry, you're really good, super hot, you may think about him when you meditate late at night, friend.

"Gonna get more wine." You said after you drank the last drop from the glass in your hand. You were going to need so much more wine if you were going to be listening to your uncle for the next 45 minutes until dinner was ready.

"Will y'bring me some too?" Harry asked with a glimmer of desperation in his eyes. You figured maybe he'd need the alcohol more than you did tonight. He had been putting up with a lot of crap from your family.

You nodded your head yes before taking off through the hallways you used to run down when you were a kid, towards the kitchen. Your mind lost in a hazy of memories of you learning to ride your bike on your mothers freshly polished floors while the babysitter sat on your house phone with her boyfriend all night. The time your brother told you carving your names into the fancy trim along the bottom of the floor meant you two would live forever.

The memories came to a screeching halt when you finally rounded the corner to the kitchen. Your cousin aka the bitch you hated most in the world lounged casually on the counter, her back towards you as she chatted with a friend she had brought along.

"Didn't think I was going to meet Harry fucking Styles. Would have at least done my hair." The girl you didn't know huffed out as you pressed your back to the wall. Desperate to get away from both of them. Suddenly you felt 12 again, hiding from Shannon before she had a chance to torment you.

"Not like you even need it. You already look better than Y/N without it." Shannon snorted out that nails-on-a-chalkboard laugh as your stomach sank.

"True, girl is a bit mousy."

"Don't forget annoying. Can't believe someone famous is hanging out with her."

A part of you wanted to turn around and walk away, but the other part was morbidly interested in what she said behind your back. Maybe, whatever she had to say, was what everyone said about you two when you weren't around.

"Think they're dating?"

"Fuck no." She scoffed with so much certainty behind her voice it made you cringe. You knew it was a bit dumb, especially since you tried to not picture yourself with him as much as possible but it still hurt. "Y/N's boring and bland as hell. He's probably too nice to tell her that he isn't interested and he feels bad that she never has any friends or a boyfriend."

You knew you should have walked away when you had the chance. Every word that was uttered by the voice that caused your childhood trauma floated into your mind with daggers.

Every bad thing you thought about yourself. Every reason you thought Harry would never like you was now confirmed by someone else.

"It's like his charity work for the year or something."

The last sentence was the one that broke you. Your eyes filled with tears as your feet finally unglued themselves from the permanent spot they seemed to be in. You ran for the safety of your childhood bedroom. Your mind too preoccupied with the thought that maybe, he did feel that way about you, to pay attention to anything else around you. You didn't register that Harry was only a few feet away from you when you slammed yourself into your old room.

The knocks on your door didn't bother you. You could care less to explain to our mom right now about what happened but tried your best to pull yourself together anyways. Your crying turned to quite sniffling when the knocks came again.

"Y/N, wha's wrong?" His anxious voice echoed through your door causing all tears or sniffles to stop immediately in their tracks. What the hell were you going to tell him? Your mind panicked for some lie you could use to cover up the fact you had a breakdown when the door opened, the hard metal of the door knob pushed you out of the way.

"'M sorry fo' comin' in but I saw yeh cryin' and I had to check on yeh." He mumbled uncomfortably from beside you as he shut the door again. "Wha' happened?"

"'S nothin'," you said as you dried your own eyes with the back of your hand. "Just, my cousin saying shit. I just took it a bit too personal for no reason."

"'M sorry, petal." He cooed as his hand stroked the rest of your eyes off your cheeks away. Your head instantly nuzzled into his warmth. "Wha' was she goin' on 'bout?"

You tried your best to not tense up. Your eyes remained shut, head buried harder against his hand that still hadn't moved from your face.

"Told you, it's nothing. Really, it was dumb and I just- it's stupid H."

"'S not stupid if it made y'cry." He frowned deeply as he lifted your chin up. Your eyes finally fluttered open to see disappointed written all across his face.

"She just-" you sighed, feeling dumb for being caught up in the moment. Her words stung but your knee-jerk reaction to cry was a bit over the top. You were embarrassed, your skin heated as his eyes trained on you. You desperately tried to look anywhere but him- the floor, the dresser, the door- anywhere. "She just… she said some things to her friend about how boring and bland I am. Said I had no friends and blah blah blah. Just dumb stuff."

You shrugged, feeling uncomfortable talking about what had happened. You gave him the geist of it without having to divulge into the whole story. You figured it was better to leave the part about you being charity work for him out of it. An angry Harry was the last thing you wanted to deal with today.

"Yeh the least boring person I know." He said, finally breaking the silence. "And yeh far from bland. I mean, look at yeh," he gestured to your outfit, his eyes sparked as your face heated from the attention he was giving you.

"Shut up." You groaned, hands covering your burning face as he wrapped you up in a hug. His chest vibrated with chuckles as you buried your head into the crook of his arm.

"Come on, don't be embarrassed." His chin rested on your head as you fought to keep the pink blush across your face at bay. "Know I think yeh pretty. Prettiest petal've ever met."

You could feel his body straighten up. Almost as if he got uncomfortable with being so forward with you. His hands held around you just a bit tighter and you could physically hear his heart start to race. You started to realize, maybe, just maybe, you'd been reading all the signs wrong.

You pulled away from him slightly, your lips rolled in your mouth as you peered up to him. The blush that lingered across his nose ran to both cheeks. His jaw clenched together, shifty eyes finally met yours after a long moment of avoiding your gaze. You could see gears turning in his mind.

"H?" You barely breathed out before he surged forward, his lips met yours with so force you were almost thrown off balance. Your hands quickly grabbed on his forearms to steady yourself. Your nails dug into the soft silk fabric of his sleeves as your mouth desperately tried to keep up with his frantic movements.

It was everything you'd ever imagined kissing Harry would be like. Soft, amazing lips pressed to yours. Warmth flooded your system, almost like he was bringing you back to life. His hand rested on your cheek as he pulled you closer, other hand around your waist, helping you keep balance on your tiptoes. Even if it was a bit rushed, it was perfect to you.

But then you felt him go rigid again.

"I shouldn't 'ave done that. 'M so sorry, Y/N, I know yeh don't like me like that and I got caught up and, and-nd, fuck 'm so sorry-" he rushed out in a ramble the second his lips parted from yours. Your eyes barely opened by the time he'd finished his rushed out speech. His hands ran nervously through his curls. Panic radiated off him.

"Who said I didn't like you?" You asked, halfway out of breath. His hands fell from his perfectly messy hair, down to his side. His mouth gaped open as he blinked slowly at your words.

"I, well, I thought-" He trailed off as you both stood there completely dumbfounded.

You'd both liked each other this whole damn time.

"We're idiots." You giggled. Quickly ceasing the opportunity to close to space between you two again.

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you pulled him to your level. This time, he was the one pleasantly surprised. The light humph out of him only fueled your fire as you dominated the kiss. Your tongue ran across his bottom lips, begging him to let you in. Tongues danced together in an unknown language as his arms circled you again. Holding you close as your fingers ran through the back of his hair.

It was quick. Both of you moved so fast, desperate for more. More touch, more skin contact. You felt that desire you'd pushed to the side flame to the surface as you both stumbled for balance. Your back was pressed tightly against the door after you both got your footing.

Kissing was easy, but kissing passionately in an unknown space when you could give two shits-less about anything but each other, was hard.

It wasn't long before the scruff on his face was burning into your sensitive and puffy lips. He'd taken over control over your mouth so long ago you had no idea where you started and he ended. Your hands, along with his, roamed uncharted territory of each other's bodies. Small gasps and light whimpers were flooding the room but you couldn't be bothered with caring right now. You were finally getting what you wanted, him.

"We should stop." He groaned, half annoyed with himself for trying to be considerate to your family. His forehead rested against yours as you both breathed in deeply.

You whined in protest at his words, your hips involuntarily grinded against him in a sense of desperation. He had winded you up like a damn play toy. He breathed a laugh at your neediness, his head shaking but you could see those dimples popping out when you stared up at him with doe-eyes.

"Don't wanna fuck yeh fo' the first time in your parents house, lovie." He smiled widely as you let out a disappointed huff. Sure, you understood his point but that throbbing in core wasn't going to be going away any time soon.

Harry considered it for a moment as he looked down to your glistening chest that was heaving in deep breaths. The swells of your breast had always been mesmerizing but, fuck, right now they look irresistable. His sight finally moved off your chest to your swollen and puffy mouth. He groaned at the sight, his mind instantly wondering if your other lips would look as beautiful when he was done with them.

His hand moved on it's own accord. Slipping up your dress, to your absolutely drenched panties. Your lip tucked under your lip, hips bucking in a need for more when you heard the most glorious moan fall from his lips.

"Can't leave y'like this, now can I, pup?" His lust filled eyes seemed to darken when you shook your head no. Your ruined underwear pushed to the side by his fingers, his breathing catching in his throat from just how fucking wet you were.

You whimpered and whined as he took his time leisurely circling around your clit, his finger skimming across your needy hole only teased you further. You could feel your nipples pebble against the roughness of your bra, feeling left out of the action, but you weren't complaining.

"Quiet, or yeh gonna get us caught, sweetheart." Harry tried to scold you but you didn't miss the smug look of pride that sat on his lips. "Gonna have to keep you quiet, sweet girl." His free hand moved from the door, to your mouth. Three fingers tapped against your lips for you to open and holy fuck, you didn't think this would be happening today.

A chill went down your spine as his fingers sat heavy on your tongue. He licked his lips as he watched you mimicked how good you'd suck him off later when two fingers entered you quickly.

"Fuckin' hell," he breathed out, the situation in his pants grew impossibly bigger while you moaned wildly against his fingers. "Jesus, fuck, yeh so tight. Gonna 'ave to prep yeh fo' me later, sweetheart."

You could barely register his words as he pumped into you again. His thumb pressed against your aching numb. He was reaching places inside of you that you'd never been able to reach. Places that you had no idea could feel this good. All sense of control left you as he hit that spot. His hand quickly pulled from your mouth to cup over top of it.

"Sing so pretty fo' me, puppy. Can't wait to hear how you sound when y'on my cock." Your walls quivered at his words, your juices dripped further down your leg as you began to quickly approach your end.

"'M ruin this little pussy later, gonna fuck y'until yeh can't handle it anymore." He started to ramble about how good you felt, how tight you were, how he was going to stretch you over his cock so good tonight that he'd ruin you. Your legs started to shake as your mind melted into a goo of pleasure.

"Fuck, yeh like when I talk to yeh like that, don't yeh sweetheart?" You weakly nodded at his words, his hand around your mouth making it impossible to say anything but it wasn't like you'd be able to speak right now anyways. His fingers curled inside of you, pumping, his thumb switching from light touches to hard pressure. "I'd let y'talk to me like that later tonight but my dick is gonna be shoved in all the holes I can get into, puppy."

You could feel your eyes roll into the back of your head as the overwhelming flood of your release washed over you. Blinding white lights of adrenaline ran through your veins as you let out a guttural moan from a depth you had no idea existed inside of you.

You were a panting hot mess when his hands finally left your body. Sweet kisses pressed to your lips to calm you down.

"Do y'think anyone heard us?" Harry asked, his lips still hovering over your mouth as you let out a croak laugh.

"You think I care about that right now?" Your eyebrows raised as you peered up to him. His smile growing by the second as he wrapped you in a hug. "Come on, let's go, you have a few promises you made about tonight that I want to hold you to." You giggled as his cheeks flamed red, your hand reached for his but he didn't move. His boy glued in place as his eyes scanned around your old room.

"What?" You asked as you turned around to see him studying every inch of your childhood.

"I didn't get to see it earlier." He shrugged a bit, trying to not seem like he was hyper focused on every detail. Your pile of old notebooks your mother kept "just incase you ever wanted them again", your old dresser that you'd painted at some point, your rose pattern bedspread, the mountain of books and magazines that were shoved away.

"Wha's this?" He pointed to the huge wall that was covered in nothing but pictures.

"Oh, uhm, I used to put pictures of me and my friends on my wall. You know, like people used to do before Facebook." Harry chuckled as he shook his head at you. His hand fished into his back pocket as he moved away from you.

"What- what are you doing?" You asked, your eyebrows furrowed tightly together as you moved towards him. The picture of your and Harry's drunken photo booth session from New Year's last year in his hand.

"You keep that photo of us in your wallet?" You finally asked after he pinned it on your wall. His cheeky smile across his face as he threw an arm over your shoulder.

"Yup." He smiled widely as you chuckled from beside him. Your arm rested around his waist.

"Dork."

#Harry Styles #Harry Styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #fanfic #fanfiction #to lovers fic challenge #writing #mine

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subbe93 · 3 years

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Day 6: Can I have this dance?

A/N: I got the inspiration for this, thanks to @gisachi who like thousand years ago (or being more realistic, a half year ago xD) answered my ask about ShinRan dancing :3

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The day had changed in the evening and somehow it was surprising how fast time flies by when you have so much to do. The whole day Ran hasn't done anything else than work. Go there, be there, and it wasn’t like Ran didn’t like her job, but sometimes she felt like there were too much to do to one human. It was evening already and like yesterday and the day before, there was still so much to do before she could even be thinking about going to sleep. Oh, and earlier she dreamed to curl up in her husband’s arms and just be. Seemed like it would stay like a dream. Well, at some point this rush is going to end, and when this happens, Ran would have enough free time to do whatever she liked. And that was her motivation. She could do this!

So, Ran opened the gate, which she closed behind her, and went through to the yard to the front door. The warmth and scent of the food in the hallway was her first welcome. Ran realised how hungry she was. God, she felt like she could eat anything!

“I’m home”, she shouted while closed the door behind her. She changed her shoes to the slippers.

“Welcome back”, a familiar voice greeted. Ran straightened her spine and saw how the man came out from the living room. He smiled. “How was your day?”

Ran sighed even though she didn’t want to. “Busy”, she answered and put her jacket on the coat rack. Then she stepped forward to Shinichi, stood on her tiptoes, and gave him a fast kiss on the lips before she has to lock up to study. “And I still have so much to do, so… Well, you know...”

Shinichi sneered, and Ran didn’t even stay to wait for an answer. She was ready to go to study – since Shinichi wasn’t working -, when suddenly a hand grabbed her shoulder and made her stop.

“But before you go”, Shinichi’s voice said behind her with a perky tune, “I have a little surprise for you.”

“Surprise?” Ran repeated when Shinichi turned her around and pushed her towards the living room. He stopped her in the doorway.

“Tada!” he shouted. “Dinner is ready, just for you and me.”

Ran didn’t find words. There was a candle middle of the table, two plates, glasses, and a jar of water. On the big dish, there were many kinds of sushi and on a bowl, there were fried noodles with sauce.

Ran smiled. She knew that Shinichi had ordered these foods from somewhere, just put them out on dishes, but still, the thought was still kind and beautiful. Moment of spending time together, eating together in the candlelight, in each other’s arms…

She felt her smile fading away slowly. So beautiful and nice thought…

She felt how Shinichi’s hands grabbed on her arms while he pressed himself towards her back. First, she felt his breath through her hair, then a slow, long kiss. “Moment of indulgence for my beautiful and lovely wife”, she heard him said. Another kiss. “And on the fridge, there is your favorite dessert.”

“Oh, Shinichi”, Ran whispered, and as much as she wanted to turn around and kiss him as a showing him how much she appreciated this, she couldn’t. Even the thought of breaking this moment was too much for her, but that’s how it was. She should just take some food with her and go to do work as soon as possible. She didn’t have time for this…

But as soon as this rush would be over, she would make this up to Shinichi. At least he had invested in this…

”I’m so sorry, love”, she said in the end and break out of his arms. She turned towards him and smiled as apologetic as possible. “I need to continue my work, I don’t have time for… this…”

“Ran…”

“I know, I’m sorry”, she interrupted and looked down. She didn’t want to meet his disappointed expression. Shinichi had worked so hard for this… And really, it felt so bad to turn him down. But she would make this up somehow, later… “You can eat, I eat a little later…”

Ran was already fleeing from the room when a hand grabbed her arm, making her stop again. Ran turned to him and looked at him. Surprisingly he didn’t look angry or disappointed. Instead, he smiled mischievously.

“That’s okay, but then, can I have one dance?”

“What?” Ran glared at him like she has heard him wrong. A dance? In a time like this?

Blue eyes didn’t break up from her gaze while his hand moved down on her arm to the palm. He grabbed it. “Can I have this dance?” he asked.

Ran waited that Shinichi would start to laugh or anything else which would show that he was just joking with her, but no. His facial expression didn’t twitch.

He was serious.

Eventually, Ran gave a laugh and looked away. “Shinichi, really, I don’t have time…” She tried to pull her hand out, but his grip just tightened. She silenced with confusion.

“I know that Mrs. Kudo’s time is expensive”, he said eventually, and even if Ran had declined stubbornly, he didn’t sound angry or disappointed. “But she has worked many days without breaks, so I demand: either you dance with me two minutes, or we are going to have dinner peacefully and without hurry.” He led her hand closer to him and bowed a little. “You choose”, he whispered while his breath tickled Ran’s back of the hand before he gave a tender kiss on it.

Ran didn’t know if she should get angry or cry. She really didn’t have any time for this! Actually, she should be working right now, not standing here wondering if she should dance or have dinner with her husband. Why Shinichi made this much harder than it should have been? Why Shinichi didn’t understand? Why he needed to be romantic and demand attention right now when she has so much to do?

But did she really have choices? Even though she wanted to get angry and lock herself on to study, she knew that rest of the evening she would just have a bad conscience because she would have hurt Shinichi who just tried to give her attention and love. It was just a bad time for that, nothing more. And it seemed like Shinichi has decided to be stubborn with this, so he wouldn’t give up if she tries to say "no" in a gentle way…

Hah, and Shinichi dared to say that Ran was stubborn.

“Fine”, she sighed eventually. “One dance, two minutes. Then I need to go to work.”

“Fine”, Shinichi answered while he straightened and then he gently pulled her against him. Ran smiled shortly when she felt a hand on her lower back, which would just make sure that she wouldn’t try to run away. She raised her other hand to his shoulder. Shinichi started to move slowly. Only then Ran realised that there wasn’t any music. She moved a little to meet Shinichi’s face.

“You’re not going to put some music?”

He met her gaze. “No.”

“Why not?”

The man smiled shortly and looked away. “With you, two minutes is a short time. I can’t waste any of it just for music.”

For a moment Ran stared at his profile before smiled shortly and looked away. With a slow rhythm, she let her cheek lean against Shinichi’s shoulder and closed her eyes. She let peaceful swinging and silence to took over her every sense. All that sound and hurry somehow melted away, feeling like something that happened a long time ago. Like a memory. With those warm arms around her and familiar scents filling her world, she almost started to believe that everything had been only her imagination. Leaning against the man who was peaceful himself, she started to wonder if she really was so busy as she told herself.

Now that she thought of it when was the last time that she had time to curl up against Shinichi? Yes, they had changed kisses before and after work, send some messages to each other, and slept on the same bed every night. But truth to be told, it felt like forever when she last time has time to stop and enjoy Shinichi’s presence. She didn’t remember when she gave herself enough time to enjoy Shinichi’s love and affection that he probably has tried to give her. When was the last time they had hugged, giving proper kisses instead of fast pecks? When was the last time they had sat down and talked, telling each other’s days or what was on their mind? When? Ran didn’t remember. She has been so busy, only thinking about her work. That wasn’t a good reason at all, but… Hopefully, Shinichi knew and understood. Of course, even though Ran has been so busy with her work and hadn’t given her husband much attention, he knew that she still loves him, right? Of course, Shinichi would know…

Or did he? Ran felt anxious hitting her hard. God, when was the last time she told him that she loves him? She didn’t remember. She opened her eyes and looked at her husband’s jaw and cheek. Now would be a good time to remind him. She opened her mouth.

”You know, I have the loveliest wife in the world.”

Ran shut her mouth and frowned. Where did he get that thought so suddenly? And if Ran could be honest, right now she didn’t feel like she deserved that. But with Shinichi? About that subject, it was pointless to argue. And truth to be told…

Truth be told, Ran would only lie to herself if she would say that she didn’t love to hear it. Every time Shinichi told her that she was the most beautiful and loveliest wife, it made her blush like a little girl while her heart started to race on her chest. And every time it made her happy to hear that. Because she knew that Shinichi didn’t say things like that for a fun.

“Oh, really?” she answered with a smile on her lips. She closed her eyes again. “What makes her so great and lovely?”

“Everything”, Shinichi answered while they were still swinging slowly. “She is wise, emotional, strong in many ways, fair… and very, very selfless.” He kept a little break. “So selfless that she usually forgets that sometimes she should be also selfish.” Ran felt how the grip on her lower back tightened. “She always thinks about others. She does everything for others, take care that those who she cares deeply is fine, that nothing bothers them, but she always forgets herself.” He smiled shortly. “And she is so patient. I don’t even know what I have done to deserve a woman like her. Every time I have much work to do, it feels like I forgot everything around me. There are only cases after cases, and I just go with them. Sometimes I feel like I just come home from the crime scene, locked up in the study, and then I left either back to the crime scene or police station. I eat if I have time, sleep if I remember, and give a kiss to my wife if I happened to meet her on the way. She is so great, and I dare to treat her like that.”

Ran smiled. Yeah, sounds familiar. Sometimes he just happened to have some thought cases and other times there just happen to be so many that she rarely sees Shinichi even though he would come home. How often Ran had brought some food and coffee to the study and late in the evening went to get him on the bed.

“And yet”, he continued, “and yet my wife supports me, take care that I eat, take a shower, change my clothes and get some sleep. And usually, that stubborn woman comes and tells me that I have to take a break from my work.”

Ran laughed. “Oh, what a terrible woman”, she commented.

“You tell me”, Shinichi answered. “There is so much to do, and such a hurry that culprit doesn’t get away or the key of the case wouldn't disappear, there is not enough time, and then my wife comes and demands that I take a break.” He gave a laugh. “And every time I resist, tell her that there is no time, and every time that beautiful wife of mine fight back until she got what she wants.”

Oh yeah, Ran remembered those arguments and shouts when she had tried to get him out of the study, take a break even for a moment that… that…

Ran opened her eyes… Wait…

“And every time I realise that the break is something I really need”, he continued. “Every time I realise that I relax when I get my thoughts away from the cases. My wife has made some delicious food for us, I spend some time with her… And eventually, I realise that there is no hurry anymore. And when I get back to work, I see things differently, and before I know it, the answer is there, right before me.”

Ran let out a gasp and wasn’t sure if she should cry or laugh.

“So, I think it’s awesome that I have a wife who manages to fight with me that I have a break from my work”, Shinichi continued and stopped. Ran smiled shortly like a loser before she seceded a little that she could meet Shinichi’s face. He looked at her already. Ran smiled sadly.

“You have a wise wife”, she said and took a deep breath. “I wonder if she is able to keep those breaks herself.” Well, she knew the answer already.

Shinichi smiled and let go of her hand only to raise it on her cheek. Ran leaned to touch. “Mmm, I told you, my wife has a bad habit to think others, but forget herself”, he answered. “But… I hope that maybe I could also be stubborn enough to get my wife to keep some break.”

Ran laughed. “Well, you have learned from the best”, she said and raised her free hand to touch his. She closed her eyes enjoying this moment. “Thank you, Shinichi.”

She didn’t get an answer, but she felt movement and soon she felt his lips against her. She answered on that gently and lovely kiss, trying to forward all her feelings to him, trying to let him know that she still cared, she still loved…

He broke up slowly from the kiss, and reality started to come back to Ran. No, not yet…

"Two minutes have gone, Mrs. Kudo”, he said quietly. Ran opened her eyes only to see those soft blue eyes which she could stare at all day without getting tired of them. “You are free to go back to your work. And remember to take some food with you. And take enough that you got your belly full, and you manage to work before I come to get you to sleep.”

Ran couldn’t be smiling. “But don’t you always say that you think better with an empty stomach?”

“Mmm”, Shinichi mumbled like he was thinking. “You know, I have seen you when you are hungry, and if I can be honest, it’s something I don’t want to witness if I don’t have to.”

Ran rolled her eyes but laughed. Then she looked at the table which still waited that someone would sit down and start to eat.

Suddenly Ran felt like she doesn’t have to hurry. Her work would wait while she would have dinner with Shinichi. It wouldn’t take too much time. And she believed they both deserved it. She would have enough time to do some work after dinner, and who knows, maybe after delicious food and some rest, those works wouldn’t take so much time to get done.

”You know”, she started and turned towards him. She let her hand from the shoulder slide for his lower back. “I know we agreed that it would be either one dance or dinner, but… do you think that your lovely wife would still get the dinner on the same deal?”

#ShinRanWeek2021 #ShinRan #Day 6: Domestic #Shinichi Kudo #Ran Mouri

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lupinblacktheone · 3 years

Text

Adopted

Notes: Hey, guys. This is my first bullet fic ever (is that the name? If someone knows how people call this thing, please let me know). It's centered on Robby and Johnny. I hope you enjoy it!

P.S: Please note that this contain some bad words and mentions to alcohol. If these themes are emotional triggers for you, please don't read. Your mental health comes first. Always.

A few weeks before Shannon Keene gives birth, her – obviously drunk – boyfriend suggests they give up the child.

They do that and break up not much later.

The baby is adopted by a rich family. They name him Robby.

Life goes on, the LaRussos have two more kids after Robby: Samantha and Anthony.

Robby loves to do Karate with dad and Sam and to play videogames with mom and Anthony – she doesn’t like to play; she just wants to spend quality time with her boys.

When the Science teacher talks about Genetics, Robby asks him: “Why don’t I look like no one in my family?”

“Maybe you are adopted”, the man answers.

During dinner, inquires whether he’s adopted or not and what does that mean.

Amanda and Daniel exchange a look. Sam takes Anthony’s little hand and drags him out of the room.

Daniel talks about the night when they met Robby.

He was living in a foster home with an old lady who was friends with Amanda’s parents. She couldn’t keep him for much longer because she was too ill.

“Who are my biological parents?”, Robby is sort of glad that he can use this new, complicated word correctly.

“We don’t know, because they wanted it to be a closed process”, Amanda says.

Robby cries because he’s confused. He was taught that parents love their children and his first parents didn’t love him. Why they didn’t love him?

Daniel tucks him in and says, while smooching his forehead softly: “I love you, son.”

The boy jumps and reaches for a hug.

“I love you too, dad”, he says, kissing the man’s cheek.

A little later, Sam and Anthony enter Robby’s room and climb into his bed to cuddle him.

Robby cries again, because he realizes how loved he is.

Nowadays, Johnny is dating Carmen Diaz, who has a son, Miguel.

Johnny and the kid get along – he’s even teaching him Karate.

Every once in a while, he wonders what happened to his first child – shit, why did they decide for a closed process?

All he knows is that the baby was a boy and was taken in by an old lady – why didn’t they give him at least a name?

High School begins and Miguel meets a kind boy in English class.

He has green eyes and soft, golden hair.

Miguel soon invites his new friend to have dinner at his home.

The boy says yes.

When Yaya meets Robby, she automatically thinks he has a crush on Miguel and vice-versa.

Johnny almost sees Shannon in the kid’s gaze.

There’s something else in him. Something that reminds Johnny of that Jersey guy from High School.

Robby leaves after the meal. Miguel puts the plates on the dishwasher and goes outside to train with Johnny.

“So, what’s his story?”, Johnny asks while blocking a kick.

Miguel tells him everything he knows about Robby – this is quite a lot by now.

“Then, Robby had to see a therapist, in order to deal with his feelings towards his past.”

“What past?”, Johnny is really interested. Miguel is an excellent storyteller.

“Oh, he is adopted. Bit of a shock when he found out.”

Johnny talks with Carmen, about this later that night.

She already knows her boyfriend has another son, a biological one, but she never imagined there would be a chance of meeting him.

“Do you think Miguel could tug a strand of Robby’s hair so I can have it tested?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s illegal, John. How about we talk to his parents instead?”

“That’s pretty boring, but yeah, let’s do your thing.”

It takes a while, but they finally call the LaRussos and organize a dinner date.

Sam, Robby and Miguel are at Golf n Stuff with some kids from school. Anthony will be playing World of Warcraft in his room all night long.

Johnny immediately feels awkward, because Daniel looks much younger than him – and the man has three kids and also runs the biggest dealership in the Valley.

Carmen does the initial talking – bless her – but Johnny’s in charge of the bomb, obviously.

“I know it’s weird but… my ex was pregnant and I suggested we give up the kid, because we were broke and not parent-material”, and also, I was drunk and stupid “so, if that’s fine by you, maybe we can have a DNA test?”

“We’ll talk with Robby and let you know”, Amanda promises.

The visitors are gone. It’s Daniel’s turn to collapse.

“I remember his face, asking why his biological parents didn’t love him. I always thought they had died or something like that, but no. They. Gave. Up. On. Him.

Despite his bitter, sad memories, Daniel wants to get along with his kid’s possible other father. To achieve this, he’ll have to get over that long-lasting rivalry with Johnny Lawrence.

So he invites the man to grab a drink and chat.

“Thanks for the invite, but I don’t drink alcohol.”

“I see”, he Is surprised. Somehow. “How about some Karate instead?

“Sounds good.”

The “get-in-good-terms” thing turns out well.

Amanda and Daniel take Robby out for a special dinner at his favorite sushi place – and made sure to pay Sam a good cash to babysit Anthony.

“So, huh… a guy contacted us. He thinks he might be your biological father and asked for a DNA test.”

“What did you say to him?”

“That we would talk to you first.”

“And what do you think of this?

“Without the test, there’s no way of knowing if he is your father or not, but we just want what is best for you.”

“If this guy happens to be my biological father, I can still live with you, right?”

“Of course you can. You’re our son and always will be.”

He agrees to do the test after discussing the matter with Miguel.

Daniel and Amanda’s only requirement is that Robby doesn’t get to know “the guy” unless the result is positive.

Waiting for the results almost kills everybody with expectation.

The email arrives, announcing that Johnny and Robby are father and son.

The first thing Amanda does is calling Robby to let him know he can meet his biological father.

The encounter is set up at a restaurant.

Everybody is, once again, anxious to death.

This time, Anthony wants to tag along and give his big brother emotional support.

“Hello, son”, is the first thing that Johnny says when the LaRussos join them at the table.

Robby is simply amazed.

He takes a look around the table. Everyone is just as surprised as him – except Johnny, Daniel and Amanda, of course.

Amanda gives her son a gentle smile and places a hand on his shoulder, encouraging him.

“Hi, dad.”

#cobra kai #johnny lawrence #robby keene #daniel larusso #amanda larusso #bullet fic #It's finally done. I almost don't believe it #Writing

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unmanageable-day · 3 years

Text

Come to me

PART 26.75 - next

masterlist / previous chapter: 26.5

Summary. After what happened in a relationship in the past, you found it difficult to trust someone with the gentleman image. ‘Gentleman’ seems like merely a concept and it was probably impossible for someone to be a genuine one. Now that you’re stuck with the number one gentleman at campus for a group project, how would you cope with the one and only Joshua Hong?

TAGLIST. @samemagicpoint @unravellyn @nonuuu @seventeeneration @skylions-den @wooziverse @infinitemoods @haoraecane @sunflowergyeomie @flower0930 @riashushu — [ send ask or dm if you’re interested to be added in the list! 🖤 ]

a/n: pls bear with me i'm on mobile apps when i post this. i cant think of more words for this chapter, and i'm actually not very satisfied with this but anyways :")

Joshua had been preparing himself if in the end, it was you and Seungcheol that were meant to be. But still, he still wished that he could earn a chance from you, now that you were willing to hear him out.

"Y/N, do you like Seungcheol?"

"Honestly it's hard to not to.." you said.

Joshua acknowledged that. He wouldn't argue about it. "But do you like him that way?"

You inhaled deeply. "I'm not very sure right now. Yeah, he's nice and all. But something feels.. I don't know, not in the right place?"

"I'm not going to ask you to choose between me or Seungcheol right now. I just.. I don't think it's fair, at least to me, that you rejecting me because of only my image. We barely know each other, Y/N. I don't know about you, but if you notice I have been trying to get to know you better each day. Meanwhile you always look uncomfortable with me, yet you never tell me. I really have no idea as I keep trying to figure out what I could have probably done and when and how things start going wrong. I must admit that I really like the days during our internship and you started to open up. I had my hopes high, you know.."

"You have good points there." You smiled at him. "Uh, how do I put it, about Seungcheol.. I just thought it would be much easier if it's him."

"Y/N, you know what? Seungcheol won't back off."

Obviously, you said internally. Otherwise he won't keep calling me, or asking me to go eating out or something. Two hours had passed since he called when Joshua just literally sat down and breathed for a minute in your living room. And your phone was bombarded by not only texts from Seungcheol but also from Mingyu, so you had to set your phone in utter silent mode.

A small oh slipped your mouth, not sure what to say again.

"I always feel like there's a big wall, with layers of doors between us, Y/N. It feels like, as I'm trying to walk around the wall looking for the entrance and trying to unlock the door, Seungcheol already has the access card to go through every door to your heart."

Your expression softened as he went on.

"Even so, Y/N, I said to you before too, right? I won't give up yet. I won't back off either. Unless the real issue is my personality, my traits or anything about the real Joshua Hong that you can't tolerate."

You stared at him, completely forgetting the melting ice cream in your cup.

"So please use this opportunity to see me as myself, and don't let what people say about me define me. I'm nothing like that. You are allowed to ask me anything you want to know, including my secrets. Then you can decide to genuinely hate me or to continue what we may have."

You took a deep breath. Never had you thought to actually share your stories and your past to one man who you had been trying to avoid. "Jisoo, when I look at you, all bad memories in my life come back."

That was something very unexpected coming out of your mouth. Joshua was speechless.

"I just made it weird, didn't I? Especially when you have nothing to do with me before college. It's like I'm an antagonist who hates the protagonist for no reason."

Joshua calmly shook his head. He was caught off guard. "Go on."

"I know it sounds bad, but that's really how I feel. At the same time, there were something about you that intrigued me."

"May I ask what kind of bad memories that you have?"

"You and your gentleman image. Kind, well-mannered, always smiling. Don't get me wrong, it is good that you have all that traits. But you are too perfect. You remind me of my dad—or ex-dad if I could call him like that. He was a man like you, a sweet gentleman. Any women would fall for him, of course including mom. But it turned out he wasn't any of that. He was a low person who two-timed my mom, and left the family with another woman. Or women maybe. Women who actually fell into that smooth trick because of his image." You cleared your throat. "Basically I already experienced the same thing with my exes. So.."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." Joshua paused for a while, seemingly trying to find the right words. "Until this moment, I just want to be someone who you can lean on. I want you to know you can come to me anytime, especially when you have a hard time. I didn't know that I was the one who gave you hard time this whole time."

"Jisoo, it's not your fault. My mom and I, we just don't want the same thing happens again. She always told me to be extra cautious when it comes to boys. I don't want to experience those times again when I fully trusted one, and at the end of the day the genuine feelings were never there. I don't want to keep having that thoughts, that I'm afraid I will be left again. I'm not lucky with boys too. I only have a short list of ex-boyfriends but they were all the same—that typical sweet and gentle and everything but only on the outside."

Your eyes were fixated on the pitch black TV screen. Your hands were fidgeting and playing with the spoon, stirring the melting ice cream in your cup. "You see, there are some times when guys like Seungcheol being playful and flirty does look more trust worthy to me," you continued.

"I know. I heard you and him talking over the bonfire when we went camping. What he told you, his dream, his goals, and his insecurities, he doesn't tell it just to anyone. Because it's like standing naked and people can see all of you, your flaws, your imperfection, according to him. He must have trusted you. If I were you, I would trust him too. So, if your heart chooses him, I will respect your decision and I hope we can be good friends. I'm sure you will be happy with him. I know he will always stay by your side."

He knew he just said it with his own mouth, yet his own words wounded him. Clearing his throat, he faked a chuckle. "Look at the time, it's almost 9. I'm really glad we talk about this, Y/N, so why don't we wrap it up?"

You were flustered that you went speechless knowing he would let you choose Seungcheol. At this rate, when you knew you were not sure of yourself, the last thing you would want to happen is you making a decision without thinking further. Just one more push, you could end up choosing that other guy for real. But, would that be a right thing to do?

Joshua got up and you followed. He began to clean up the remaining food and put the ice cream pint back in to the fridge. In no time, he put on his shoes and was about to bid you a good bye.

"Hey, Jisoo, you know what? I, too, enjoyed the first weeks of our interns days," told you as he finished tying up his shoe laces. He stood up and smiled at you. "It felt surreal even for me to finally get used to be with you. When I thought I could trust you, then it happened. The sushi bar, and the rumor between you and Siyeon.."

"Oh my God, I know, I'm terribly sorry about that. I can promise you it won't happen again, and I swear there is nothing going on between me and Siyeon. I.. if I have to I will go down on my knees and apologize, Y/N. I—"

"Geez.. no, no. Sorry, I didn't mean to bring that up again. That's already in the past. I'm at fault too for holding on to what happened in the past for too long. You see, I'm kinda that holding grudge type."

You crossed your arms, your eyes were looking everywhere. The mood hanging in the air was suddenly awkward again. Your guest was supposed to leave but why did you even bring up another topic again?

"I really wish we can start again, Y/N," Joshua broke the silence.

"Yeah, me too."

Joshua nervously rubbed the back of his head. "Also, I owe you an apology for trying to kiss you that night, and one more for not showing up at the sushi bar."

"Accepted." A warm smile curved on your lips as you looked at him softly. "I think you owe me another apology."

"What is it?"

"That horror movie. Let's never watch one again."

#seventeen au #seventeen imagines #seventeen texts #seventeen scenarios #svt college au #svt imagines #seventeen x reader #seventeen joshua #joshua imagines #joshua x reader #seventeen scoups #scoups imagines #scoups x reader #post by yourblinkies

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purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1152

survey by emptyspaces

What song reminds you of being in middle school? Patron Tequila was a huuuuuuuuuge bop in 5th grade, and I can tell you too many kids who were too young for the song nevertheless vibed hard to it. Down by Jay Sean also reminds me of mid-elementary school. I believe both have so far been one-hit wonders, lol.

What was the first thing you learned how to cook? I don’t cook cook, but I remember we had one day in like preschool when we were taught how to make homemade pizza. That was the first dish I remember making. We used white bread for the crust and topped it with tomato sauce, grated cheese, and sliced hotdogs. I ended up liking the ‘recipe’ a lot and frequently asked my aunt or grandma to make it for me.

What does your hair currently look like? It’s slightly damp since I took a shower a couple of hours ago, and it’s currently styled in a low side ponytail.

Who's the worst driver you know? It’s been years since I’ve been in a car where my uncle was in charge of the wheel, but I would always end up feeling nauseous whenever he was the one driving. I never figured out why, but my best bet is because he tends to press hard on the brakes. I also don’t trust anyone who’s fine with being way too close to other cars.

What are some wild animals commonly found where you live? I live in a residential area where there are approximately 0 wild animals roaming around lol. I do have some neighbors who keep chickens, but that’s as wild as it gets over here.

Does it take a lot to make you cry? Nah. Just show me a stereotypical emotional video, like anything to do with grandparents or pets reuniting with their owners, and I’ll produce some tears for you in seconds.

If the last dream you had came true, would that be a good or bad thing? Bad. I was relieved when I finally woke up.

Have you ever had a lucid dream? No. I’ve tried doing it before but just could never get in the zone.

How long did your last car ride last? Something like 20 minutes. The mall isn’t that far away and most of the travel was because our house is way too far from the village’s entrance.

Isn't it disgusting when people chew with their mouth open? I mean c'mon... It’s icky but I have other worse pet peeves.

What's your most prominent memory from 2009? I used to keep this journal where all of my entries were of me roleplaying in the Twilight universe. Obviously it’s embarrassing to think of now, but I must’ve written quite well back then because my classmates loved reading it and used to pass it around during recess and lunch hahaha. That was my only successful stint in fiction writing ever. I know the notebook is still around somewhere, but I refuse to see even just the outside; too much cringe lol.

Do you think there will ever be world peace? A little pessimistic answer but no.

What's your biggest problem at the moment? A client was supposed to send us this file that I needed so I can proceed with a deliverable that we were asked to do today, but he never followed through. That’s fine by me since executions get moved all the time, but it also means he’ll probably send it sometime during the Holy Week break and I’ll have to work during one of my days-off this week. -__-

Has anyone ever told you you're too emotionally needy? I don’t think so. If someone has it would most likely stick with me.

Has an ex ever told you that they want you back? Nope. She has an infinite amount of pride in her bones for her to do that.

Have you ever turned down a job offer? I have never had to, and so far I’ve only been the one turned down haha. Joke’s on them; I’m super happy with the job I’ve landed.

What's the longest hospital stay you've had? For what? I’ve only had to be confined once and that was just an overnight stay. It was a dengue scare but turned out to be just a low platelet count.

Do you know anyone who doesn't know the basics of using a computer? My maternal grandma refuses to learn anything that’s got to do with modern technology, and I suuuper doubt she’d be able to figure out how to turn on a laptop or computer.

What was the last snack you ate? I was feeling hungry earlier and had a bite of this guava chip that my workplace had sent over as a care package; but it tastes super healthy and blech and I felt like I deserved something more junk food-y for finishing off the work week haha. Now I’m having KFC delivered at 1 AM :(((

What's something really basic that you're terrible at? Lighting up a matchstick. I’m scared of fire and I always ask my dad to be the one to light up my scented candles every single time.

Is it just me, or are tv shows/movies getting to be really dumbed down? No. Different generations, different tastes catered. I also think I’ve answered this survey before because I remember saying that I actually appreciate how content these days are more inclusive and open about tackling sensitive issues. That’s the complete opposite of ‘dumbed down’ to me.

Do you know any same-sex married couples? Finding one in the Philippines is like looking for a needle in a haystack, but yeah I happen to know a couple of couples. They probably handled all the paperwork in the US, but still. I’m glad their family is able to thrive here.

What was the last appointment you scheduled? It was a telemedicine consultation. I didn’t need it, but one of our clients recently partnered with this telehealth service and they wanted someone from the agency to use a free trial so we can have a better idea of what the service offers. I was the sacrificial lamb (lmao) and so I had to have this quick video call with one of their doctors. That was the first instance I was glad to have scoliosis because it gave me something to talk about, because otherwise I would be completely lost on what to consult about.

Are you happy with the person you have become? Getting there :) I definitely don’t have as many self-loathing moments than I used to just a few months ago.

What year were you born? 1998.

What does your favorite watch look like? I don’t have one; I don’t use watches as I will probably lose them in like a month anyway.

Did you have one of those Tamagotchi things as a kid? Yeah, but I personally didn’t get the hype and quickly went back to my other toys.

What's your favorite kind of wine? Sweeter ones. I can’t stand bitter wine.

When was the last time you felt lonely? Last Sunday. I was talking to Angela and Andi more excessively than usual that day; and it was most likely the quarantine getting to me. Even though they reassure me that I’m not being too clingy or annoying I still feel like I am, so that day made me rethink and reflect about ways to expand my circles and gain new friends.

Are your parents still together? Yeah, I literally just got them their KFC orders like 10 minutes ago.

Have you ever been so broke you didn't know how you'd keep a roof over your head? I’m thankful to have never been in this position.

Do you know anyone who believes that vaccines cause autism? Possibly. But at least they’re smart enough to keep their mouth shut about it.

What was the last piece of furniture you bought? OMG OMG OMG I *literally* just received it this afternoon but I finally bought a cute lil night lamp for my room :> :> Hahahaha I’ve spent my last four employed months spending on nothing but food, but I decided to switch it up a bit and finally purchase something that won’t be gone the next day, hence the lamp. Not really furniture, but still. It’s the cutest thing ever and it’s currently lighting up my room really prettily!!!

What's a new skill you'd like to learn? Climbing.

How did you celebrate your last birthday? It was the peak of the pandemic when the entire world was still scrambling to figure out how to handle it, so all stores were closed and no one could go out. I barely remember what had happened since that day just flew by, but I do recall that Angela had a box of sushi delivered to my place.

Do you have any great housecleaning tips? Not really.

What's your favorite cocktail? Zombie.

Did your favorite movie come out before or after you were born? Way before I was born; it’s 31 years older than me.

Is there anything you need to do before the end of the day? Nope.

#survey #surveys

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khorale · 5 years

Text

Bnha 240

Surprisingly, still a villain chapter!

Pfft yeah, eyewitness report. How reliable, these eyewitnesses.

It’s the question of whether citizens have the right to arm themselves. One side states that allowing this directly contributes to the death toll, but the general public is more swayed to the other side that proclaims that they’re allowed to protect themselves. It’s a thing that officially it’s illegal due to the many varieties and unpredictable quirks, but people are known to look the other way when things like that happen, as we are shown all the way back during the Stain fight. Being able to use their quirks, to have something that they can use to defend themselves, provides a sense of control and confort to people who live in a society without All Might. At the same time, this is swaying them to follow the Liberation Army’s ideology. Nicely played.

The truth of Deika city may eventually come to light given the fact that there’s a lot of holes to this story. Some questions that could arise: Are those 20 people named? What quirk or device do they use to make that giant crater?

Compress finally got his sushi! I can’t believe we actually get to see the sushi party! Although I wish Shigaraki could eat with them - the only thing he ate on screen was a biscuit 20 chapters back.

I can see a pretty nasty scar there on her face. I wonder if she lost an eye or if the eyepatch is just protecting it while her eye heals. It’s still too soon to tell.

Seems like it’s not “bye bye trauma” after all... I know it’s more realistic this way and you don’t instantly get better, but... Poor Twice. Also I love all the casual LoV banter.

I also love that sushi loading screen! The League is making the Liberation Army pay for everything from food to clothing 🤣. I’d feel sorry considering all the medical bills, but... the Liberation Army was the one who picked the fight.

Dissention being buit up between the Liberation army members and LoV despite working together. Hanabata referred to Re-Destro as the supreme leader still before he corrected himself, and that’s the only reason they’re doing this. Plus they are raised to follow Destro’s will no matter what.

Still, it’s still different from the time Magne was killed and Toga and Twice had to go over to the yakuza - they were ready to screw Overhaul over despite not given clear instructions to do so. Meanwhile, Curious is dead via Toga and nobody mentions it except the news. Nobody in the Liberation army had a genuine emotional reaction (Hanabata’s incitement doesn’t count). I hope this won’t follow the trend and have the Liberation Army backstab the LoV at a bad time.

New costume! 👀 Shigaraki actually wearing a suit!

It’s still not specified why he’s still wearing a hand. But I’m thinking he only destroyed Father who physically hit him, and he won’t be crumbling his other family member’s hands. Plus, many people knew Shigaraki Tomura as the guy with a hand on his face so he’ll be more recognizable/iconic this way. Another reason is that he hides his face from people he doesn’t trust, so even if there are spies (ahem, Hawks) in the crowd, they won’t get identifying features from his face. For instance if he tries to go out incognito and people know what he looks like, that will make it much harder to steer clear of heroes.

Hopefully we’ll get more explanation in the future.

Also, Gigantomachia is at the back of the crowd! Is he still naked...?

Wow, Re-Destro. Your fanboy is showing. It’s crazy to see Shigaraki inspire such intense idolization and loyalty unintentionally. Boy’s leveled up in charisma stats.

His parka also looks like Geten’s. Like Geten just had a spare one in the wardrobe and lent one out to be used as a cape.

Paranormal Liberation front sounds like you’re liberating ghosts lmao. I’ll stick to the League and Liberation army. OR Battlefront (from the leaks translations) Unless Mangastream or Viz gives better names.

Someone noted that gap between Compress and Skeptic shows a clear divide between the group. It also could have been Curious’s spot. I hope that with time the group can learn to work together and mesh better. It won’t be any fun if they separate again and the League go back to sleeping in dumps.

“Go wild.” Yess sir. I just realized that Shigaraki had a script in his hand and was reading off of it until he went “screw it this is irrelevant” and said just a single phrase to drive everyone wild.

We also get Geten face reveal! Cool. Not sure if girl or pretty boy.

Hawks_is_mentally_screaming_and_dead_inside.jpg

That’s a brutal slice across the corpse’s face. But Dabi is skeptical about if it’s actuall Best Jeanist so we at least have that bit of hope. Otherwise... the #3 hero is dead and the heroes lost another important firepower and Hawks will be enduring emotional backlash as well as public backlash if/when he’s found out.

Look at Re-Destro! His happy little smile and his head above the clouds. Totally lovestruck, man. I don’t even need to look for ship material they’re just there.

He’s like a puppy following Shigaraki around, eager to please now.

I also think Shigaraki told him to get lost so that the Liberation army people don’t get to see him fall and look weak and stuff. He doesn’t trust them that much yet. With white hair + red eyes, a cane and the general grumpy attitude, he reminds me even more of Accelerator from A Certain Magical Index.

“The Bare Minimum” sounds like a taunt, because Shigaraki did all that and more. He ended up gaining the Liberation army alongside Machia’s loyalty, on top of regaining his memory and power boost.

While Ujiko talks to Shigaraki on the phone, Hawks had one of his feathers to spy on the conversation by sensing the air vibration. Dabi really shouldn’t have brought him to the meeting because now he has like a surveillance device.

Hotwings shippers come get your food~.

Before Shigaraki gets that “power”, he has to go on a quest. Hmm... I hope it’s not about the quirk bullets and the doc needing Eri to make more of them.

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bellasharifuddin · 3 years

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The Day I Became a Mother

It’s been a while since I last post anything here, typing feels awkward as well. But this has always been a thing that I wanted to do since the day I’ve given birth, to document and blog about my pregnancy and my birth journey, so in 4-5 years to come when my memories fade, I can always come back to reminisce every detail that I keep here, like a memory capsule.

The Day I Found Out I Was Pregnant.

You know, when people say that when you have a strong intuition about something, trust your gut feeling, because it’s often true. Mirin and I have always talked about having kids, me wanting a baby so much within months after we got married, however, Mirin having second thoughts about it. We were both married for less than a year, sleeping on a toto without a mattress or a bed, living in the deep slum of Wangsa Maju area where the rats are larger than the cats. Hahaha. Naturally, given our circumstances, he’d want to take things slow.

Fast forward to a couple of months, we went out for some steaks and karaoke on a weekend night. I told mirin to stop by Watsons, for me to buy a pregnancy test kit. Mirin didn’t question much, because occasionally I would randomly buy one, just for fun. But this time, I didnt just get one. I ended up buying three. Why? Because somehow, I had a strong feeling this time. I just felt... weird. It was a feeling that I can’t put it into words.

We came home at midnight, I went to the bathroom too “pee on the stick”. Then I saw the first line... a few seconds later comes the second one. Oh my god. Okay. I knew Mirin was standing outside the toilet door, waiting. Eventually, I had to break the news to him. When I showed to Mirin, we both ended up hugging and crying. Was I happy? Was I in shock? Was I sad? Yes, a little bit of everything. Its funny that all you’ve wanted was a baby, then when it actually happens, suddenly you’re freaked out. Happy that its a blessing. Sad that it hits you without a warning.

Pregnant!

When the morning sickness finally kicked in, I knew we couldn’t live in the current house. Its not the best place to raise a child. And the next-door neighbor was having major renovation that was super loud and noisy. After sleepless nights and searching for a new place, we eventually moved out. Bought our first bed, bought our first dining table, bought our first gas stove. A many of firsts. Soon we finally bought a baby cot from Ikea. We bought it too early. Although it was too early to put it up, but Mirin assembled it anyways. I could tell that he was excited. It was such a fun and exciting moment, for the both of us.

But those were the fun part. Like most pregnancies, the not so fun part about being pregnant was me being diagnosed with Pregnancy Hypertension during my 36th week of pregnancy. My blood pressure spiked up to 140/100 on two consecutive readings, and the next thing I know, that I’m sitting in an ambulance, on my way to Hospital Kuala Lumpur’s emergency building.

At Hospital Kuala Lumpur. Waiting for an available bed

Mirin bought me the entire family mart food available xD

I spent 3 nights in their maternity wards, finally discharged after the doctor told me that I was clear to go. While I was in the hospital, it pains me to see new mothers struggling during the COVID19 pandemic. Throughout your stay, no visitations were allowed from anyone including your husband. If your baby cries or if you’re in pain, you’d have figure it out yourself. I remember praying to god while crying that I do not want to be induced there. The ward was stuffy and hot. There were too many people crammed in a room. It was hell.

The Day That I Give Birth

One week after my discharge, we both went for my monthly checkup with my OBGYN at Pantai. Again, my doctor advised me to be induced tomorrow, since my blood pressure spiked again, and I was almost full term (38 weeks) so it was okay to go. She told me that “It’s best to get the baby out or else you boleh kena sawan” OMG Okay okay. So we packed our bags, ate sushi for dinner, slept soundly for the very last time, and headed to the hospital again at 9 am the next morning.

Induction day. We definitely overpacked haha

Arrived at the hospital lobby, did a mandatory swab test before entering

Appointment card. Booked and paid for the accommodations prior to checking in

I was told to change into my labor robe (I’m not too sure what it’s called), and waited. When my doctor finally arrived, she then began to insert some sort of a plastic strip deeeeeep into my cervix. Ouch, that hurts. Okay, so that’s how induction works eh? Then I was given antibiotics into my IV drip too, since I was GBS (Group-B Strep) Positive as well.

Toilet selfie! Calm before the storm

After an hour, I felt the contraction. Initially it was uncomfortable, then it hurts like hell. The contractions felt like period pain but like a million times worse. Occasionally, Doctor Haslinda would come and check on my “bukaan”. Hours passed. 1cm... 2cm... 3cm.... when I finally said:

“Omg sakit sangat dah tak tahan, I want an epidural!“

Ok no, that was a lie. I initially didn’t want to take an epidural. I wanted to try and bear with the pain, but Mirin convinced me to take it, so after tossing and turning like a dying fish I finally said okay.

The anesthesiologist came after what felt like an eternity, and asked me to sign a consent form. I’m not really sure what was written in that. Siapa je ada masa nak baca terms and conditions panjang panjang bila tengah contractions???

He told me to sit on the edge of the bed, while hugging a pillow. I remembered him injecting some numbing spray, then I felt the BIG NEEDLE poking through my spine. Then.. that was it. It was so fast. The entire process took only 5 mins. Was it painful as I thought it would be? No. Was it still scary tho? Yep hahaha.

Soon after, Dr Haslinda pecahkan air ketuban when I was 4cm dilated. It didnt hurt because I was on epidural, but I felt so much warm liquid flowing out non-stop. So bizarre.

Once you’re on epidural, you’re basically bed-ridden. No bathroom trips anymore, my legs feel like jelly. Sometimes the nurse will come to empty my bladder with a catheter. When the epidural kicked in, I could finally sleep. I slept like a baby. I slept for hours. Painless. No more feeling like a dying fish. And so I thought.............

3am. I woke up with INTENSE CONTRACTION PAIN. Why is it so painful? I thought I’m on epidural? I called the nurse straight away. Turned out the epidural drug ran out. It was sooo stressful because the nurse that was on duty that night didn’t know how to topap balik the epidural drug into the machine. She called her colleague, then the colleague also tak tahu. Then both of them spent like forever to troubleshoot how to use the machine, sampai lastly kena call doctor tanya. YA ALLAH, rasa macam nak maki je.

7am the next day. Bukaan baru 7-8cm. Doctor decided to use another form of induction to speed up the process. It’s called pitocin, and injected through my IV drip. Within MINUTES, I could feel very intense and painful contractions, that the epidural can’t even help. So throughout the remaining 7cm to 10cm, I felt every inch of real labor pain. I clenched Mirin’s hand. So tightly that I think it got bruised. A minute felt like an hour, and an hour felt like years. It was soo bad that my memory was so fuzzy.

Finally, it was 10cm. Time to go. They put both of my legs up, macam gambar bawah ni haha:

Picture courtesy from Google

There were two nurses, one small cute Malay nurse, one pregnant Indian nurse, and my OBGYN, Dr Haslinda. I love them all, they were so supportive and nice to me throughout my labor process. My doctor taught me how to push correctly:

“Take a deeeeeeep breath then tahan, clench your fists, chin down and teran macam nak berak sekuat-kuat hati“

I was so determined to get the baby out. I just wanted the contraction pain to end. I did everything they told me to do. I hold on to Mirin’s hand, and PUSHHHHHHHEDDDDDD! I could hear Mirin saying “You’re doing great sayang!” After several pushes, and some sips of water breaks, the baby’s head is almost out. The head was the hardest to push. Besar! I literally felt like my down there was stretching to its limit. Once the head is out, I did another small push, and the rest of the baby’s body macam keluar instantly macam super slimy like that haha.

Finally the baby is out! 8.26AM! The contractions stopped immediately. I instantly feel like I wasn’t pregnant anymore. The doctor then injected something on my thigh, then my uri just popped right out haha. My body felt so tired, but so so light. Lega, yay no longer pregnant haha. I ended up having second degree perineal tear without an episiotomy, and was stitched. I felt the benang, ngilu. I felt the needle pierced through my muscles too. But it didnt hurt so it wasn’t too bad.

The baby gets cleaned up. Then soon all of the nurses left the labor room, it was just me, Mirin and our baby. Mirin picked her up, and azankan. Mirin started crying, I cried too. It was magical :’)

We did skin to skin and tried breastfeeding for the first time. As I look at her, hair was so thick. Her cute little fingers. Her beautiful face. She’s perfect.

I slept for 5 hours straight after the labor

Thinking back, I have no idea how I managed to muster such courage to go through all these. Mirin even told me that during the active labor stage, when I was pushing, at one point I pushed so hard that my entire face turned blue. Talk about adrenaline.

Do I want to have another baby? Well, lets keep a rain check on that question for another few more years to come xD

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mhalachai · 4 years

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#hour of the wolf au where tony and chris keep meeting up at arms dealers conventions and one day chris shows tony a picture of his daughter #and tony wonders if he's seeing a ghost or having a stroke

@princesssarcastia replied to your photo post: WOW OKAY JUST LEAVE THAT THERE WHY DON'T YOU

Okay you know what, here's another spin on what might-have-been in Child of the Wolf, where Chris and Tony know each other from back in the day at all these arms dealers conventions, etc. They met each other a few years after Allison was born, and they'd usually exchange a little off-hand snarky, because Tony has no time for the small-timers and Chris thinks Tony was an arrogant show-boat. But they talk, and at least it was a relief to get away from the truly smarmy of the others at the conventions.

Then one conference, when Tony's about ready to straight up murder a bitch (specifically, the sonofabitch from Minsk) Chris decides to intervene and direct Tony out of the room to the nearest bar, and they get to talking, and Tony, who is in a foul mood, asked Chris what he does when he goes home, does he have a wife and kids and a picket fence. And Chris, who knows that Tony had been going to have a kid with a werewolf (everyone knew about the Vasquez family, after all), doesn’t want to rub it in, but Tony is really in a bad mood so Chris pulls out a picture of him holding Allison, who was about six by this point.

And Tony looks at the photograph and the first thought in his mind, that was what Clara's baby would look like, because he had seen all her baby pictures, and this little child that belonged to the blue-eyed, blond-haired guy looked exactly like his dead fiancée.

And so he does what any Tony Stark would do in the situation.

He figures he's losing his mind.

He doesn't ask how old the kid is, where she was born, does she like sushi or French fries, does she like to read, is she smart is she smart, because these are not the questions a man is allowed to ask about another man's child, because Allison is Chris’s child, that's not even a question in Tony’s head. It's so much more likely that Tony is finally falling prey to early-onset dementia than...

Than...

So. he represses.

He pushes it all down. He’s mis-remembering what Clara looked like. He’s letting grief knock him off course. It’s what happens with grief, that’s what all the counsellors he didn’t see would say.

He changes the topic.

Another year, another convention. Tony sees Chris and Chris sees Tony and this year, Pepper is with him, and it’s only when she’s gone off to try to fax something from Monaco to Los Angeles do Chris and Tony talk. Tony keeps it light, flippant. Chris responds in kind.

This time, Chris brings up Allison. He shows Tony another picture, because Chris is so proud of Allison he could burst. She’s starting in gymnastics, and Tony sees a tiny dark-haired girl in gymnastics clothes holding a bronze medal and a shy smile and it’s Clara all over again, only Clara was never shy, Clara was always bold and confident, even as a kid.

So it’s easier this time for Tony to say, “Really? Third place?”

“It was her first competition, and she was competing against kids three years older than her.” Chris puts the photo away. “She’s be able to kick your ass in the balance beam.”

“She could kick my ass on a flat floor,” Tony says, and that’s it, he can’t think about little dark haired girls who were the same age his daughter would have been. “You still making those sedge-shaped blades?”

By the time Pepper returns, they’ve both irritated each other enough to part ways.

Each year, the same thing. Allison is in gymnastics. She’s in reading club. She’s a natural at swimming, practically lives in the pool.

The year Allison was 12, Chris didn’t come to any of the conventions.

Or the year she was 13.

And because Tony is a terrible person and only a tiny bit obsessed with this Argent guy, and not his daughter who was around the same age Tony’s daughter would have been, Tony asks Jarvis to do a welfare check. They’re alive, these Argents, Jarvis tells Tony, but moving around a lot.

So that’s it, Tony reasons. Chris is just busy.

Chris shows up at the convention in Johannesburg the next year. He’s aged, even though he’s only two years older than Tony. And he’s quiet, too, but whatever.

Tony doesn’t see much of him until the third day, when he locates Chris morosely sipping scotch in the bar. “Thought you’d had enough of this riff-raff,” Tony said, dropping into the barstool beside and gestures for vodka.

“Some of us have to work for a living, Stark.” Chris rubs his eyes.

Tony busies himself tipping the bartender, then sips the alcohol. The taste doesn’t burn as much as the conversation would. “So, where you been?”

“Busy.”

“With what?”

Chris slams the rest of his drink. “Work. Moving. Family stuff.”

Tony’s heart jumps, and he is reminded that he’s a creep of the worst kind, hungry for the meagerest scraps of this random guy’s family life, and his daughter who looks too much like Clara for Tony to forget. “Huh.”

Chris looks at him for a long moment, and Tony’s trying to figure out if he’s about to get punched or propositioned. Then Chris reaches for his wallet and pulls out another picture. “That’s my sister, Kate,” he says, and pushes the picture across the bar. A blonde cutie, maybe 20, was in the shot with the ghost of Tony’s dead fiancée. Allison is 14 now and it’s like staring at Clara’s quinceañera picture, jesus christ. “She’s staying with the family for a little while.”

Right. Focus on the 20 year old sister, instead of the 14 year old daughter. “She’s younger than you.”

Chris shrugs. “It happens.” He puts the picture away and there’s nothing Tony can say. “Word on the street is that you’re in bed with the big guys these days.”

“World needs protecting.”

“Yeah.” Chris chucks a hundred rand on the bar and gets up. “Just know that the bigger the wolf, the bigger the teeth.”

Tony narrows his eyes, because that’s a very specific dig. “Fuck you, Argent.”

Chris leaves without another word, and that’s the last time Tony talks to the man.

Then there’s Afghanistan, and Stane, and Iron Man. Tony stops going to conventions, stops thinking about Chris Argent, and another man’s dark-haired daughter.

He has his theories, of course. And he’s never seen a picture of Argent’s wife, so he doesn’t know what she’s like. That’s probably where Allison got those dark eyes and her dark hair. That’s all it can be.

Because Tony knows, he knows, that the mountain lion that killed Clara had eaten their baby. That was what the medical report said. That was what the police said.

And that another man’s daughter, who was around the same age as his own daughter might have been if she hadn’t been eaten before she was born, looked a little like the love of Tony’s life when he was 20?

Tony’s Iron Man. He knows how weird the world is. Coincidence happens.

Tony has to stop thinking about another man’s daughter. Tony’s not a father and he needs to cut it out wondering what it would be like.

He has to stop.

Then Ivan Venko bursts into Tony’s life and he invents a new atom and someone digs Captain Steve Rogers out of the ice and then aliens invade New York.

It’s a busy spring for Tony and he doesn’t wonder about Argent, not even a little bit, not an iota.

Until Jarvis informs him one September day that a DNA test had matched to Tony’s DNA, with the results delivered to a sheriff’s station up in Northern California. The DNA test had been a paternity test.

And Tony doesn’t even think about any random encounters where a condom may have broken, because the report also shows that the sample was tested against Clara’s remains and came up positive and all Tony can think is that someone found the baby’s skeleton, no matter how far north it was. Someone found his daughter’s body.

He’s in the suit and flying north before Jarvis can caution him.

He lands in Beacon Hills and finds Natasha Romanoff in backwoods-beige and he is so fucking confused and angry and he lashes out, please tell me tell me, and then from a back office out walks Allison Argent.

He knows that girl. He’s seen her pictures growing up. Only now he sees her and it’s her, his daughter, Clara’s daughter.

The girl in Chris Argent’s photos.

They’re the same girl.

Clarity slams into Tony. He has been watching his own daughter grow up, raised by someone else, someone who had stolen her away.

Tony watched his own daughter grow up and he did nothing.

And so he does what any Tony Stark would do in the situation

He flees.

Natasha’s yelling after him and Allison’s just staring at him with huge, hurt eyes, but he flees.

Things go much the same as they go in Child of the Wolf after this, with Pepper and Clint kicking some sense into Tony, only here he can’t tell them about the absolute guilt eating at him. He spent so much time trying to push Clara’s memory away that he never asked the obvious question about Allison.

But how could he?

It takes Tony a few years to admit all this to Allison in CotW, and she’s hurt, she lashes out, but they work through it.

Then Tony dies to stop Thanos and Allison has to keep going on her own.

The universe start to unravel.

Allison gets flung back in time to 2012.

And that’s the one thing that makes it all easier in this divergence from Hour of the Wolf, gentle reader, for after Allison gets into a fight with Chris and kicked out of the house, gets picked up and dusted off by Sheriff Stilinski and Deputy Rushman and offered a safe place to stay at the Stilinskis’, the second thing she does, after taking a shower to get the dirt and blood of her person, is to borrow Stiles’ laptop and force her way into Jarvis’s server with less tact than speed.

“I need to talk to Mr. Stark,” she tells a very suspicious Jarvis. “Tell him I’m Chris Argent’s kid. He’ll want to talk to me.”

It takes Tony ten minutes to come on the line, and the moment he locks eyes with her, Allison can see that he knows, he gets it, the scales have fallen from his eyes.

She holds her chin up as she says, “My name is Allison Argent, I was born on Sept. 24 in Los Angeles, and we really have to talk.”

Tony can’t say anything. Allison knows he’s running through everything in his head, all the missed opportunities, all the clues, everything he saw and pushed away.

“Tony,” Allison says sharply, because the one way to get Tony to do what any Tony Stark would do in the situation, is to get him working to fix something. “I need your help.”

And just like that, Tony snaps into the present. “Who are you?” he demands.

“I was raised by Chris Argent, only I don’t know if he’s my father.” Allison cocks her head to the side. “And Natasha Romanoff is in town playing deputy and is very interested in me, which I find interesting, don’t you?”

Tony is frozen for a moment. “How do you know Natasha Romanoff?”

Allison decides to kick over every can, every anthill. She has a universe to save and only 27 years to do it. “I met someone this summer who had a lot to tell me about Natasha and everything,” she makes up on the spot. It’s a good enough lie to get most of her knowledge of the current events on the table. “First things first. How are we going to do this?”

Tony stands up. It’s all so different for Allison from the last time. This time, her father isn’t running away. “Where is Beacon Hills?”

“Second star to the right, straight on til morning.”

The corner of Tony’s mouth twitches. “Does that make you Peter Pan, or Wendy?”

“Neither. I call dibs on Captain Hook.”

Tony’s eyes glint. “See you in half an hour, kid.”

“I can’t wait,” Allison said, and her heart burns.

In this divergence, at least, Allison gets her father back without any reservations.

All she has to do now is to save the rest of the universe.

Time to get to work.

~~scene~~

#thank you for coming to my tedtalk #princesssarcastia #hour of the wolf #my writing #aus of aus

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justlostinautumn · 5 years

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Agent Zero Part 2

Natasha Romanoff x Reader (Agent Zero)

Part 1

Agent Zero is the best of the best and puts The Avengers to shame. She isn’t perfect and she knows that, but she has made many good decisions that have gotten her to where she is now and one of them was falling in love with a certain Black Widow. Natasha is the only one to know Y/N (Agent Zero).

Natasha had a big secret that she wasn’t sure she wanted to share with her team. But what happens when that secret is put into the middle of the team. Can she keep her wife secret or will the team all find out? If the team finds out how will they react to the news? How long will their game last and will it blow up in their faces when they are found out?

There are still secrets that need to be shared, stories not fully explained and truths that need to be told. Y/N isn’t a liar, but sometimes you bend the truth so much you don’t even remember what it is anymore.

She had already managed to take out Wanda and Strange. They were decoys in the game her job was to get these four to work together, she could tell they were getting frustrated. Every time Steve would say something Tony would do the opposite.

“I’m getting bored and you don’t seem to be grasping what this exercise is about.” She looked at her nails dodging a knife Bucky threw at her head.

“You’ve not touch Rhodey and I.” Tony laughed.

The next thing they knew Steve threw his shield at her and she caught it spinning around and throwing it up so it hit Tony first and then bounced and hit Rhodey. She slid on the floor and caught the shield landing just by Bucky’s feet who punched down and grabbed the shield she grabbed his metal wrist, twisted it spun on her knee back to him pulled him over her shoulder pulled out the gun and shot him in the head leaving a red paint mark between the eyes. Steve charged at her and without flinching lifted the gun and shot him between the eyes too.

“Your arrogance got two of your strongest team members killed.” She looked at both Rhodey and Stark.

“What do you mean?” Tony was furious.

“I mean if they were bullets you’d be cleaning brains off your floor.” She hissed.

“Agent!” Nick shouted.

“No! Listen good all of you. Since your little Civil War I’ve had to clean up your mess, who do you think kept HYDRA at bay while you lot were having a temper tantrum about everything. So what if Barnes killed your parents Stark? You are fucking selfish! Yes, he’s killed his fair share of people, but he was made a monster. You created machines of destruction, you created Ultron. At the end of the day we all have our ledgers, we all have a hole filled with corpses. All I can say to you Stark is be grateful I wasn’t the one who killed your parents.” She slammed her hands against his chest and before he could fall he was caught by Bucky.

“You have no right to talk to him like that!” Steve shouted.

“Really, you’re going to stand up to the man who put your team in the Raft? The man who allowed his arrogance to let him believe he was a God? It’s funny Rogers. When I first learnt about you I idolised you and your BFF there, people willing to die for what they believe to be right. I was like you, the only difference is you would have killed me because I was born on the wrong team. You died a Martyr! Was it guilt that made you stay on the plane instead of jumping out and living your happy ending?” She tilted her head and she dodged as Rhodey swings at her.

“You need to stop before some kills you.” Rhodey threatens. Y/N can see Nat stiffen and Clint smirk, everyone else is looking in awe as they figure out what she’s doing.

“Aren’t you angry, after all, you did almost become paralysed because of them. The rehab you went through, having to watch your best friend mourn the loss of his parents again, as well as his friends and his team?” She smirked at him, her eyes held nothing but cruelty and malice.

“You bitch!” Bucky shouted and she let him pin her to the floor by her throat.

“Go on Soldat!” She laughed and saw something flicker in his eye, “always one to lose his cool too quickly.”

Y/N wrapped her legs around his metal arm and twisted her body causing him to let go of her. They both got up and she blocked every punch and kick he tried until she kicked him in the chest with enough force for him to hit the wall and leave a bent. Tony, Rhodey and Steve run to him.

“That’s how you get them to work as a team.” She brushes the dirt off her stealth suit as she addresses Fury.

“It was all a trick?” Steve was furious.

“Of course.” She smiled at him.

“How did you know it’d work?” Tony looked shocked as he and Rhodey helped Bucky stand, while Y/N walked up to them.

“I was a test, if you didn’t step in for each other I knew it would be a waste of time. But, you did and now I have something to work with.” She spoke lifting Bucky’s shirt and pushing ribs back into place, as Bruce runs up to her with gauze wraps and helps her wrap him tightly so the ribs don’t move.

“How did you know about the anger thing?” Bucky asked.

“In my time working, you and I have crossed paths. HYDRA liked to move you a lot, it kept people like Fury and that guessing if you were real.” She shrugs tapping his hip indicating he can lower his shirt and a memory burst in his mind.

“You’ve done this for me before.” Bucky looked her over carefully.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She looked at him and her eyes gave him nothing.

“I think we’ve done enough for today.” Fury barked.

“I’m beat.” Y/N smirked at Nick and she looked at Maria who giggled.

“Food?” Nat appeared next to her.

“Yes, I’m starved. Maybe pizza, no… sushi? Mexican? Chinese? Oh God anything, I don’t think I’ve had decent food in a year. Natasha, its been a year since I’ve eaten something that wasn’t HYDRA Asset food. Good God, I want everything!” She looked at Nat giving her puppy dog eyes and she then turned her charm to the team who all looked at her with soft eyes.

“Fine, we will order a bit of everything!” Tony sighs breaking, he could help but be grateful for the girl who just might be able to fix the team.

“Agent Zero had to wrap somethings up on a previous mission.” Clint walked into the room with the information they had been dying to know since yesterday’s introduction and training activity.

“I wanted to train with her.” Bucky looked a little put out.

“Fury said she should be back either this evening or tomorrow.” Clint shrugs.

“Spill everything you know.” Tony leans in and points at both Natasha and Clint.

“Clint’s worked with her more.” Natasha shrugs, it was the truth.

“Bird Boy.” Tony looks at him and the rest of the team are waiting expectantly.

“She’s one of a kind, she was from some organisation. A test subject, no one really knows much about it. She’s only ever been an Agent. Only Fury and Hill knows her name. Everyone calls her Zero or Reaper nothing else.” Clint shrugs.

“She doesn’t do teams. So, when she brings down a base she normally doing it solo.” Nat adds.

“That’s impossible!” Steve looked shocked.

“It’s not if you are on both teams.” Nat finally looks at them.

“What does that mean?” Bucky was defensive.

“She use to be a part of HYDRA, she wasn’t originally from HYDRA but she worked with them. They think she is working for them and helping infiltrate SHIELD again.” Nick spoke from the doorway.

“She’s a double agent?” Tony looked impressed but worried.

“She didn’t lie when she said she was a free agent. She fights for what she wants, it’s just her hatred for HYDRA outweighs the hatred she has for your stupidity.” Nick smirks at them.

“Why would she hate us.” Steve frowned confused.

“There is always a story, but it isn’t mine to tell you and if she wants to tell you she will.” Nick nodded as he looked around the room.

“What can you tell us?” Bucky leaned in something was nagging in his mind and he couldn’t figure it out.

“She is like nothing anyone has ever seen, you only got to experience a small bit of what she can do. She is ruthless and she has killed more than any of you. Know this we are lucky to have her on our side otherwise we would be royally screwed.” Maria says as she walks in casually looking for Nick.

“What’s wrong Agent Hill?” Nick frowns looking at Maria.

“Agent Zero called and informed me there have been some... complications?” Maria raised a brow and Nat stiffen along with Clint and Fury.

“Did she say complication?” Nick looked at Maria who nodded, Nick pulled out his phone and called her, looking at the Team and putting it on speaker.

“Nicolas, how may I help?” She sang through the phone and gunfire could be heard in the background.

“What’s the complication?” Nick frowned at the phone and her voice.

“Oh you know some HYDRA goons decided to see if there was anything to collect and then saw me and may have wanted some target practice.” Nick could hear the amusement in her voice.

“We are coming to help!” Clint shouted.

“NO!” Y/N voice was hard and she had lost any kind of amusement it held originally.

“Why?” Nat was furious at her wife and wanted answers.

“You are far from the Team you were and you coming in would get me killed. I work alone for a reason, I don’t want to be a part of your Team.” Her voice is harsh and cold and Nat felt a little hurt.

“What?” Nat spoke softly.

“Trust me, Natasha, I would team up with you any day but having you drop in now would only get you killed. This isn’t your usual HYDRA Agents, think more Winter Soldier meets a diluted version of me.” They hear her grunt through the line.

“Zero!” Maria shouts.

“Stay the fuck down!” She shouts and they hear a loud gunshot ringing in the room.

“Agent?” Nick sounded worried.

“Don’t worry Nick I’m not dying on you yet, I have a few plans before that happens.” They can hear the smirk and mischief in her voice.

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” Nick looked at the Avengers who were staring intently at his phone waiting for her answer.

“Shit, shit, shit. Nick this is bad! Take me off speaker right now!” Nick frowned at her.

“Talk to me,” Nick said not taking off speakerphone.

“He’s here.” Was all she said.

“Sweetling, I know you are here.” They hear a voice on the other end.

“Nick!” They can hear the panic in her voice.

“You need him there,” Nick growled looking at Barnes.

“NO! He would be no use, he is not who he was.” She hissed back.

“Sweetling, I know you have no allegiance. I know you are trying to get your Soldier back... tell me that’s the only reason you are with them.” The male voice was louder.

“I have many reasons to do what I do. So what if I want the soldier back?” Her voice was cold and deadly.

“You killed all my men Sweetling, I want you to come back with me. None of this double agent crap... you can be Queen again.” They could hear him purr at her trying to entice her with a title.

“Who’s to say I’m not the Queen right now?” Something in her voice made them shiver, her tone held nothing but power.

“You are always are the Queen, but you need a King and I can be it. Drop the old and upgrade.” An image was being projected to Fury and they saw a burly man and the smaller form of Y/N from a drone she set up. Her head tilts back and they heard her laugh.

“You are hilarious thinking you’re an upgrade.” She cackled, it was cold and the room seems to chill with the sound of it.

“What's so funny?” He changed into a fighting stance.

“You were made to be nothing but guard dogs, sterile. Nothing but disposable! There is only one King and you should learn to respect him.” She growled, her stance like a lioness ready pounce. The look on her face was slightly feral as she snarls at him.

“He will never be King again.” He bellowed.

“Then I will never be Queen again.” She smirked back.

He charged at her and dived and she jumped to the side dodging him but grabbing his arm and swinging herself to land on his shoulder. Legs wrapped around his neck she twisted so fast and loud snap filled their ears and the room and the giant fell and she lept off him.

“Zero?” Nick shouted.

“I’m going to kill you, Fury!” She was pissed because she knew they heard everything.

“She’s a Queen? Bucky was there a Queen and King of HYDRA?” Steve turned to his friend.

“No, there wasn’t. This is nothing to do with you or your Team.” She growled viciously, this was a twisted truth but not an outright lie... I’m not a liar Y/N reminds herself. Nat didn’t know much about the term but Y/N had mentioned something about it being used when referring to her.

“Do you need a medic.” Maria was frowning at the hologram taking in some blood.

“Not my blood, I should leave before he wakes up.” Y/N walks over the body and loots a USB drive from the body and many other things. Checking each for bugs and anything else.

“You coming home?” Clint asked.

“I’m coming back to the compound, yes. It’s not my home.” There was something distant in her voice and they wanted to know who he was. They couldn’t make out his face only his form, almost like she’d done it on purpose.

“See you soon,” Nat said softly, she was worried. Nat knew something was off and there was an issue.

“Yeah... see you soon.” A frown could be seen on her face as she looks directly at the drone and it shuts off along with the phone hanging up.

“Did she say before he wakes up? We all heard that crack, he’s dead... right?” Tony looked at them and they all shrugged and then shivered as they felt the chill at their spines.

Walking in refreshed and in a pair of black jeans and a black tee-shirt, she drops on the sofa next to Clint.

“Barton.” She grunts.

“Zero,” Clint smirks.

The rest of the Avengers look at her and Clint as they stare at each other unblinkingly. Clint blinks first.

“Ha! I win!” She laughs, it was such a difference to the phone call leaving them with whiplash.

“Evil!” Clint growls going to tickle her but she catches his hands pinning them to his sides and sliding on his lap and then tickling him, he tries to buck her off but she doesn’t budge.

“Submit!” She smirks at him.

“Never!” He shouts and Nat laughs along with the rest of the team.

“Then perish!” She laughs.

Nat can’t help but fall deeper in love with the woman who is tormenting her best friend.

“Nat save me!” Clint shouts.

“I think I’ll pass, you made your bed maybe you should lay in it.” Nat tilts her head and stared at Y/N’s ass.

“Enjoying the view Romanoff.” Y/N giggled as she looked over her shoulder.

“Very much, but I’m not the only one,” Nat smirked, there was a glint in her eyes that Y/N knew well. The Widow was hungry and maybe a little jealous and it caused Y/N to smirk at her. Getting off Clint she saunters over and leans in close.

“Remember Romanoff you can look all you like, but you can’t touch.” Y/N lips were a breath away from Natasha’s and if Nat leaned in a little closer she would be able to kiss her. But, Y/N pulled away before she could and turned on her heel and walked out of the room.

“Where are you going?” Clint shouted.

“Debriefing with Fury and Hill.” She called over her shoulder with a two-finger wave.

“That was so hot.” Wanda looked in awe at the doorway to Nat.

“That is just Zero,” Clint smirks at the shocked faces of the Team and Nat laughed as she dropped next to Clint on the sofa. They need to know more and they knew a perfect time would be team bonding night.

Tags:

@peteyparkersbabyy, @demonstracija, @ludwigvonbaethoven, @i-just-wanna-run-hell, @saturngirlz, @5aftermidnight, @lesbian-x-blackwidow

#Agent Zero #Natasha Romanoff #natasha x reader #black widow #black widow imagine #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #the avengers #the avengers x reader #the avengers imagine #avengers imagine #avengers x reader #avengers #marvel imagine #marvel

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rose-wine-selfships · 4 years

Note

Oh goodness I'm sorry I missed it! I fell asleep😓 Anyway! Can I ask.. Like everything from the wedding ask game for you two? All of it, if that's alright, I'm really curious. (Or whichever ones you want!) 💜💜

🎨 - What are the wedding colors you and your F/O decided on?

Atsushi: Ah, that’s a tough one to be honest. I just let my wife decide since we both have very different opinions on color schemes. *laughs* She likes pastels, but I’m more into neutral or metallic colors like brown and silver.

Me: So we met in the middle and did softer colors such as light gold, silver, purple and pink for our wedding’s color scheme! And it definitely seemed to work! 😊

Atsushi: Yeah, yeah! It definitely looks good, but please don’t ever let me decide the schemes. My wife is better at that stuff than I am please! 😆

👗-What kind of wedding dress or suit did you and your F/O get? Give an explanation or show a picture.

Me: For my wedding dress, I went with a classic romantic trumpet dress shape with beads and lacy long sleeves with a back outline. It has bits of champagne pearls around the corset part of the dress. I also have a flower crown tiara with a mantilla veil to complete the piece. A little traditional, I know, but I love it. It outlines my body in the perfect shape and it doesn’t make me look too bad.

Atsushi: What are you talking about? You’re already perfect to me sweetie. Your dress just makes you even more beautiful than you are already. Don’t you dare talk yourself down in front of me! *fake pouts*

Ah anyways, the suit I had was one Dazai-san suggested to me when we were suit shopping before the wedding. He suggested I go for a white tux with a black bowtie and grey undershirt and pants. I’m not too good at fashion detail, so I just went with what he said. *chuckles* But I like it, it really shows off the best of myself too. It’s fitting, but comfortable. The suit was just right, so I thank Dazai-san for suggesting it! 😊 👍

💕-Who said “I love you first”, you or your F/O?

Atsushi: Well, I did say it first actually. Truth be told, it was a very dark time when I did so. Christina just lost someone close to her on one of our failed missions from the Armed Detective Agency, and it completely devastated her. So much that she was willing to take a dark route (suicide) because she felt like no one here cared for her. I couldn’t let that happen. I kind of—no I did cry when I found out about it and refused to leave her alone. I told her I loved her without thinking, and it left her in shock. At the time she wasn’t ready to confess yet, but she did tell me she would give this relationship a chance. And I’m glad she did, for I found the love of my life in her. 💕 💞

💒- Are you two getting married outside or inside a certain place?

Me: Well, we’ve been thinking for a while about having an outdoor wedding celebration. However, we didn’t know where to pick the venue. Then my husband Atsushi gave me a random idea.

Atsushi: Yes, and I asked her if she would like to go to Fukuzawa’s cherry blossom park? It was privately owned by the Armed Detective Agency, and it might be a great wedding venue. So we walked around the park a couple hours, and she fell in love with the idea right away. More than anything, she loves seeing cherry blossoms bloom around, even if it wasn’t springtime.

Me: It looked so beautiful there, and I absolutely thought it was the best choice for our outdoor venue. It looked so gorgeous with even with the homemade pink and purple paper lanterns me and the agency created ourselves. I owe my thanks to my husband for suggesting this park to me, for it made the best memories of our lives now. *kisses his cheek*

Atsushi: You’re welcome sweetie! *grins ear to ear*

👨‍🦳-Did you and your F/O get a priest to have you two married? Or did you two

get another religious or neutral official for your marriage?

Atsushi: Truth be told, we already have a priest in the ADA. Fukuzawa-san actually has his own government-issued license for religious practices and wedding ceremonies. How he got it, I don’t know? It’s a lot more complicated than that and I don’t want to get into it for complex reasons. But nonetheless, he did a wonderful job officiating the wedding ceremony for us. He’s a great boss, and I wouldn’t have anyone else over him. 😊

👣-Who walked you down the aisle to your F/O? A familial or platonic F/O?

Me: Actually, Kunikida-san walked me down that aisle to my husband. He was trying so hard not to cry while doing it, but a few tears did slip out. Before I went up the steps, I did smile at him and patted his shoulder to let him know it’s ok in my own way. He calmed down a bit after that. After all, a wedding isn’t complete without a few people shedding tears of joy. He’s honestly a sweet guy underneath it all. 😃

🎶- What kind of music did you play at you and your F/Os reception?

Atsushi: We did a mix of oldies and new music to get everyone involved regardless of age or group.

Me: Yup, it was a mix of pop, rock, EDM, and a dash of dance music. It was a really fun reception overall. Everyone hit the dance floor and definitely got drunk more than once at the cocktail bar we provided. Hahaha! 😆

🎧- Did you and your F/O hire a DJ at your reception? Or get a live band to play all your songs there?

Atsushi: We got the Tanizaki siblings to be our DJs for the night. We paid them a good sum of money to get the music going. Truth be told, they’re great at DJ-ing and are really fun to be around. Although I do have one problem with them. They always sneak off somewhere during a “music break’, and it’s always behind a curtain!

Me: Yeah, what the heck is up with that? Haha! We’re supposed to be the ones making out and doing other “stuff”. Oh well, that’s their dynamic though.

🥘- What kind of food did you give your guests at the reception? What about desserts?

Me: For us, we went all out with the food at the reception. We provided a Mexican-Japanese fusion of food for people to eat. For appetizers, we had either chazuke, albondigas (meatball) soup, or smoked salmon tapas. For dinner we had either Norigami tacos or sushi burritos. For dessert we provided either fried ice cream or Japanese street crepes.

Atsushi: The tacos were delicious! Ah, my mouths salivating because of it! Oh, I’m getting off track anyways. Hehe~ We also provided a full bar because we knew people would not be fully entertained without a drink or two. We provided full bodied cocktails, beer, sake, martinis, and much more alcoholic beverages. Chuuya-san wanted to come over and be the bartender just to rub it in Dazai’s face. Surprisingly, he didn’t pick a fight with Dazai and just made great drinks through the whole night. Which is good, we needed peace at our wedding. 😆

🥂- Who gave the first newlywed toast to you and your F/O? Did they give a good speech?

Atsushi: Dazai-san provided the first wedding toast speech to both. Surprisingly, he was very relaxed and open after having a few drinks himself. His speech was definitely genuine, I could tell. His eyes were flickering with something—passion I think? And a little bit of happiness for us both. I’m really glad he provided the first speech for us, just to have his blessing alone is wonderful.

🎥 - Who filmed you and your F/Os wedding? Did they take a lot of pictures too?

Me: Akiko-san was a great photographer. She did well with the props for our engagement photos. She made sure we posed in the right positions, and that my bouquet was well photographed besides my dress and face. She really captured the spirit of us in love at our wedding, and I cannot thank her enough for that! 🙏 💕

🏡- Where will you and your F/O settle down for a new home?

Atsushi: We’ll be settling down somewhere in the suburbs close to where we work in Yokohama. It’ll be a gated community, yes, but it won’t entirely be away from the city. The great part is there are a few parks within this housing complex, and our house is right next to most of them. We can just go out and walk around the parks, get our exercise, and talk a bit. Honestly, it’s the best part about us getting married, knowing I’ll have an even closer bond with my wife. 💕

🕰- How long have you and your F/O been together before getting married?

Me: Honestly, we’ve been together for at least 3 1/2 years before getting engaged. Even after meeting him, I couldn’t imagine falling in love with anyone else other than him. He’s the love of my life, and I want to spend the rest of my time on this Earth with my Atsushi.~❤️

Atsushi: Same.~❤️

#pinkprophetposts #rose posts #answered asks #send me asks #wedding asks #wedding ask game #f/o tag game #f/o ask game #f/o asks #mutual asks #mutual answered #our wedding #our wedding day #atsushi nakajima #christina nakajima #self ship related #self ship community #self inserts

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raisingsupergirl · 4 years

Text

When 2020 Hands You a Staycation, Make... Everything

My family was looking forward to our trip for months. My mom was going to take all of us to a beautiful cabin at Kentucky Lake. It would have been the first time we've all gone on a family vacation in literally decades. And man, did we need it. But, of course, we forgot to consider the 2020 factor. So, literally days before we were supposed to leave, the air conditioning went out in my truck, my grandma broke her hip, my grandma-in-law was diagnosed with a terminal illness (and passed away soon after), and my mom tested positive for COVID-19. And so, in a twist of fate that we all should have seen coming, our vacation turned into a staycation. And this is how mine went…

Like any respectable week stuck at home, my family's started with donuts. And the food just kept coming all week. It was my fault, really. I decided I'd play Master Chef, and so I cooked and I cooked and I cooked, from scratch. Fettuccine alfredo, sushi (x 2), all the grilled things (including my world famous ribs with homemade BBQ sauce), breakfast yummies, pizza (for my wife's birthday), and Sunday piña coladas. We can't forget the Sunday piña coladas. My family will back up my claim that it was all wonderful (even if my wife complained about all the weight she gained), but if I'm being honest, by the end, I was a little sick of cooking. Okay, a lot sick of cooking. And that unexpected side-effect was kind of the theme of my week.

Along with cooking, I kept the Martha Stewart Living dream alive by starting an elderberry tincture, bottling up some flavored alcohol I've been working on, cleaning my fish tanks, fixing my wife's shower, and spending three days power spraying All the Things—little honey-dos and creative projects to keep my mind and body busy, to make me feel like the week wasn't completely wasted. Unfortunately, that mentality royally backfired. You see, the thing about projects is that there's an endless supply of them. There's no finish line to the things that need doing. And once you start digging into the pile, you realize just how deep it is. And then you quickly realize how little time you have left to do them before you have to go back to work for another year. At least, that's what happened to me, which tinted every day with this little feeling of desperation, like I wasn't in control of my time, my work, or my life. And as I got further into the week, I started feeling a little worthless, like none of the things I was doing, had done up to that point, or would ever do again, meant a gosh darned thing. And that kind of thinking is a royal bummer when you're on vacation, let me tell ya.

By the final Sunday, it got to the point where I was sitting on my back porch with beautiful weather, good music, a colada in my hand, my amazing wife by my side, and my kids squealing in the kiddie pool, and all I could think about as I stared up at the fluffy, white clouds was, "Why do I feel so bad?" And then I felt bad for feeling bad. At that moment, my life was perfect. So why was I searching for more? Why did I feel like I hadn't done enough on my vacation—enough work, enough relaxing, enough memory making? I'd done my best all week to stay in the moment and be appreciative of my abundant blessings. But for some reason, it hadn't helped. I'd kept dreading my return to the "real world" despite a pretty stinkin' successful staycation. So what was it? What was bothering me about that perfect week? Well, I can be a little slow sometimes. The obvious often eludes me. Remember the first paragraph of this post? The one where all the bad things happened? Yeah, I guess I had tried to bury that reality instead of deal with it. And there ain't no amount of sushi or power spraying or piña coladas that can bury 2020.

It's strange that it took me going back to work on Monday to gain some real perspective. The thing I had been dreading was the very thing that saved me—that helped me appreciate everything about my previous week spent at home. Not because work was bad or hard. Quite the opposite, actually. My first day back was busy, I felt scatterbrained, and I was thoroughly exhausted when I got home. But it felt great. Getting back with my patients and co-workers, doing what I knew so well how to do, falling into a rhythm. It all helped remind me of who I am and what all I'd learned from my staycation (yes, I'm repeating that ridiculous word to annoy everyone who hates it). And, as it turns out, I learned quite a lot.

First off, I do actually love my job. I love helping people (even if they exhaust me). I love what I do and who I work with. I get burned out from time to time, but there's no other career I would rather do on a full-time basis. It offers a sense of fulfillment and stability that I've never appreciated until now (which has also given me a greater appreciation for all those people stuck at home in quarantine. I guess putting your life on hold isn't as amazing as it sounds…). Secondly, I love my family. There are some real memories from this past week that I'll never forget. Those lazy afternoons in the back yard with my wife while my kids played in their tiny pool. The mornings getting sunburned at my six-year-old's soccer games. The movie nights, laughs, and cuddles. Oh so many cuddles. Despite the craziness and heartache looming just outside our little pocket universe, my family and I really did make the most of it. Oh, and the last thing I learned? When making homemade pizza sauce, don't add baking soda to lower the acidity and then mix the resulting science experiment in a sealed blender. That is, unless you're looking to redo your kitchen.

On the bright side, my wife figured out what she wanted for her birthday—a new blender! That, my friends, is what you do when 2020 strikes. You make lemonade out of lemons. Sure, tragedy continues to weigh on our planet, our country, our society, and our families. Yes, my grandma's hip is still broken. Yes, my family lost a wonderful woman last week, and the world will always be just a little darker for that loss. Yes, the pandemic continues to rage. Yes, my county is second in the nation for active cases, which means full protective equipment and precautions at work every day. And yes, I'm going to have to pay a few hundred dollars to have my truck's air conditioner fixed. But you know what? My mom has been essentially symptom-free as she battles the Virus Which Shall Not Be Named. In fact, she's been out doing yard work. That's the epitome of making lemonade, folks. And this past Monday, on my wife's birthday, just when I was starting to feel bad that she hadn't had the special day that she so greatly deserved because I had to work and then drop off my truck at the repair shop, something kind of neat happened. The summer rain cleared away, and a promise revealed itself—a rainbow, tip to tail. God's reminder that he's watching over us. That there is always an end to the heartache. That no darkness lasts forever. And that, even in the midst of it all, there is beauty. There is laughter. There is hope.

So keep hoping, y'all. Better times are coming. It might get choppier before things start smoothing out. The school year and the winter are going to be challenging. But it won't be the end. "If you're going through hell, keep going," seems like wonderfully appropriate advice. So let's keep going, together. Let's remind each other what we're fighting for. Let's keep praying and taking extra time to help each other out. Showing kindness and patience when both seem to be in short supply. Oh, and remember, if you're thinking about ending it all by adding tomatoes and baking soda to a blender, just say no. Instead, maybe take a deep breath and power spray a smiley face into your sidewalk as a gentle reminder that it’ll all be okay.

#making lemonade #vacation 2020 #staycation 2020 #when 2020 strikes #covid-19 #corona virus #foodie #cooking from scratch #family #momblr #mumblr #dadblr

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veridium · 4 years

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stolen

Well, friends, what kicks off a weekend better than a College AU update? Titled after one of my favorite songs of all time, and definitely one of the best kinds of love songs to describe Cass and Liv, the dashboard confessional classic. :)

Fall Carnival fun pt. 2 commences now!

last chapter // fic masterpost

There’s walking on glass and eggshells, and then there’s the week Olivia has leading up to the fall carnival. Ellinor deserves a medal of service for dealing with her each and every day, hour by hour, every time something unsettles her anxiety. She had told her everything was fine when they were shoving sushi into their mouths and laughing about fish puns. If only she could hold onto the same kind of half-optimistic, half-resigned sensation she felt then.

It’s not that Cassandra is mean, or even insensitive. Despite Olivia’s incessant ranting and brooding, she can’t really say it’s because of cruelty.

The day after her and Ellinor’s sushi date, she texts to check in. Cassandra replies, answering her questions, and nothing more. Olivia once again restricts herself from prodding, and comes back to her dorm to complain to Ellinor. That night she receives texts from friends insisting that they meet up at the Carnival at some point to take a fall aesthetic selfie. The dread grows.

Then it’s Thursday. To her surprise, Cassandra texts her first.

Cassandra: Hey, will you be around at 12? I have office hours, I thought we could have lunch.

The cup runneth over -- too bad her request collides with a final project meeting, and by God, Liv will not give her team more of an opportunity to disappoint. She was the one who scheduled it, set up the shared Google Doc, and delegated responsibilities. If she ducked out, the whole thing would come apart. So, as much as it makes her want to cut four of her fingers off, she tells Cassandra no. Of course, Cassandra isn’t one to give grief.

Cassandra: No problem, just thought I would offer. Have a good meeting!

Later that night, Olivia takes some initiative. The Carnival is the next day and if Cassandra isn’t feeling it, she would rather go alone or not go at all than try to force it. Cute pictures would never be worth it, and Olivia has grown up experiencing enough cringey, orchestrated “outings” to last a lifetime. She paces the floor of her dorm after sending the text, expecting one of dozens of possible reasons. After all, who wants to endure a Carnival with an ankle boot on?

Apparently, Cassandra does.

Cassandra: Yeah! Cullen and the team have been looking forward to it for weeks. I don’t see why not.

Olivia stares perplexed at her screen. Okay. Okay? Okay. That’s it, then. They’ll go, and it’ll be great. Except it won’t be, because in that split second, she’s already charted in her head all of the awkward and potentially conflictive situations that could happen. What if Cassandra gets there and her mood changes? What if she wants to get on a ride, but can’t because of her injury? What if she loses at a Carnival game and it sets her off? What if someone makes fun of her? What if she trips and falls?

As if by divine providence, she gets a phone call during her spiral. And it’s none other than Theia, finally getting back to her after over a week of radio silence. Olivia doesn’t waste time asking what happened between her and Josie, but Theia doesn’t have much to offer:

“It’s a break. That’s all I can really say,” she says, voice going low while she’s on speaker phone. “It’s a long story. I’d rather not get into it tonight.” There’s a loopy sound, like the swig of a bottle.

Olivia, scrunching her face while she sits on her bed, figures she should change the subject. She tells Theia she needs to vent to someone else besides Ellinor about what is going on with her, and Theia is the only other person who’d understand. The only other person who would be able to provide any insight as to what is upsetting her so viscerally.

When she gets to the bottom of it, Theia doesn’t speak immediately. The quiet pondering scares her, like the ominous stillwater before a gator attack on those Discovery channel shows.

“Liv,” Theia finally says, reluctant like she’s a Doctor about to break some terminal news, “you’re gonna hate me for saying this.”

“What? No!” she disagrees. “Not at all, please, help me out here. I’ve been stewing all week.”

“Well…” she chuckles nervously, “you sound just like you did when I first met you.”

Theia doesn’t have to elaborate. The phrase is code for “a couple years ago,” which comes with its own subtext, one everyone who’s gone through what she has can understand. The phrase has grown from “a few months,” to “last summer,” to “last year,” and now she’s here. Time sucks ass. At least in Theia’s use of it, it doesn’t come with the same feigned accepting grief that Olivia’s Mom has when they’re at “gatherings” with “loved ones” who Olivia hasn’t ever seen before.

Her cheeks go hot and she tosses the phone onto the comforter and looks away, as if she’s eluding the discerning gaze of a close friend. Theia knows better.

“I know you hate me,” she says, vindicated. “But, you know. The fretting, and the worrying about things that haven’t even happened to her. You’re trying to figure out her needs before she even says them. That’s how you sounded every time I’d be on the phone with you during break. You’d just...completely turn everything on for him, then your Mom.”

Olivia criss-crosses her legs, and picks at the tufted fabric of her old pajama bottoms. “Yeah.”

“Hey, you good?” Theia is quick to check, her tone more concerned. “I’m sorry. I should have warned you.”

“Warned me for what?” Olivia smirks and rubs her neck. “Trigger warning: your own damn life?”

“I mean...yeah. That’s kind of how it works.”

“Not always,” she replies, and picks up the phone. “It’s fine, Theia. I appreciate your honesty.”

Theia lets out a discomfited sound. “Maybe you should...I don’t know. Maybe it’d be best to tell her. Unless you think you can figure this out on your own. It’s up to you.”

“Yeah, it is,” Olivia nods, trying to convince herself simultaneously. All this time she’s been so worried about getting to the bottom of Cassandra’s issues, she’s scarcely thought about the consequences of her own. As if only one of them had baggage to bring around. No shit, Olivia owns her own baggage terminal. Silly for her to believe it would just go away if she just cared enough about someone else’s problems. No matter how many times she tried that trick, it never worked.

Her and Theia manage to wrap up their talk on kinder, easier terms. Both of them acknowledge they aren’t in a place to be fully open. Agreeing to be patient with each other, they hang up, and Olivia collapses back on her bed to overthink things while staring off into the ceiling.

This can be a really happy time, if you just let it. She thinks it, over and over, like a song lyric. Just let it.

The next day, Ellinor’s glee and the prospects of fun lighten her up. She puts on one of her favorite dresses, a tea-length button-up dress with short sleeves and a ribbon around the waist. It has a print, blue and white small flowers, and flows at every little move she makes. When Ellinor sees it, she damn-near tips over.

“You’re wearing that?” she asks, slipping her coat on. “It’s been a while, huh?”

Olivia smirks, and the back of her throat stings with nerves. She locks the door to her dorm and then drops them into her black denim jacket. Just a little touch of the normal aesthetic.

“It’s the carnival!” she replies, “gotta dress to the occasion.”

“Hah, well, Cass will probably...hey,” Ellinor tries to say something funny, but seeing the immediate change on Liv’s face, she stops herself. “Everything okay?”

Olivia blinks. “Yeah! Yeah. Just distracted by something. Um,” she checks her phone. No messages. “Let’s hurry, parking will be a nightmare.”

Whatever Ellinor meant to say about Cassandra’s reaction, she was likely spot on: the minute they see each other in their kitchen, it’s like the world freezes. The first time she’s seen her all week, and Cassandra looks just as beautiful as she looks in Olivia’s memory. Black leggings and a knit, sangria-colored sweater with a dress shirt underneath, all neat and fresh looking. They stand facing each other silently while Cullen and Ellinor are off somewhere making various happy noises, giggling and joking.

Olivia feels the strap of her string purse slipping and adjusts, her grip on it atop her shoulder turning deadly. The way Cassandra is acting confirms it: she knows its strange, too, that it’s been this long. But, as she always does, Olivia finds the words.

“Y-ou ready?” she asks, offering a smile.

Cassandra returns it. “Yeah! I just have to go and get my jacket.”

“Oh, you want me to--”

“No, no, don’t worry,” she says kindly, “I’ve got it.” She’s walking easier than she did the first day. Still an uneven sway, but she’s about as fast as she would be without it. She goes and comes back from her room, a fresh new team jacket over her arm. Shit, they must have got their team jackets?

She’s met in the living room with Cullen and Ellinor, who are also ready to take off. And so, with grins and happy laughs from all, they head out.

The entire drive Olivia is trying to walk herself back off the mental ledge. Now that she’s aware of what she’s doing, or at least more aware, it’s almost worse. How can she tell her new girlfriend that she’s lapsing into something that’s taken her 3 years of on-and-off counselors for her to know is even real? When she’s not thinking about that, she’s thinking about how she should have been more honest with her, especially when Cass was raw about her own issues. Then she feels unreasonable for her expectations, and then…

In the middle of it, her gaze wanders to the center console, and then to the left, where Cassandra is seated. She’s sitting there, and then she feels Olivia’s gaze and looks over, and she smiles. She’s smiling, and she’s looking so happy in the sunlight shades changing so fast as the car goes fast downtown.

Hands gathered against her waist like a kid on a school field trip, she grins back.

Next thing she knows they’ve arrived, and Ellinor and Cullen are romping in the parking lot like spring yearlings, egging each other on for donuts or something. They’re so happy it almost rots her teeth. Ellinor tries to stick with the group, and before Olivia can ask her to stay, Cassandra surprises her and waves them off. That’s all the lovebirds need to fly off.

Olivia takes a stiff breath and slips her aviators on. Who would have thought being alone with Cassandra after the week she’s had would be the exact opposite of what she wanted?

“Well, we better catch up, right?” Cassandra smiles again -- she’s smiling so much -- and slides her hands in her jacket pockets.

Olivia looks over, nods, and goes forward. “Yeah! Yeah.”

“Everything okay?” Cassandra asks as she starts walking. “You seem anxious.”

“I...I am, a bit.”

They’re near the entrance when Cassandra stops. Olivia jerks and turns around, immediately admonishing herself. “Am I going too fast? I’m sorry, shi--”

“No,” Cassandra shakes her head. She’s reaching into her pocket. “My wallet is just stuck in the pocket. Give me a sec.”

Oh. That’s...that’s okay. Ok. Everything’s good.

“You don’t have to worry about getting your wallet out,” Olivia says, grabbing her purse. “I got us!”

Cassandra furrows her brow and meets her gaze. “What? You sure? It’s not a big deal, I…”

“Nah, it’s fine.” Olivia puts in the effort for a sweet smile. She already has her wallet out and ready by the time Cassandra gives up grabbing hers.

“Oh, okay then.”

They get in through the ticket stand without trouble. Once they’re in, it’s a marathon for the senses: spices and sugary treats freshly made and slathered lace the air, groups of people in bright autumnal hues exchanging cotton candy and stuffed animals. Music plays low and abundantly on speakers staked throughout, echoing the party of the open dance floor and festival stage somewhere through the fray. Machines and games ring out their sirens, with all the bells and whistles. Far beyond the front is the ferris wheel towering over the rest of the park yard and its sea of striped spotted tent roofs. It’s paradise for a bunch of young hearts with sweet teeth and salty energy levels from a semester nearly concluded.

Olivia and Cassandra walk at a glacial pace. Cassandra looks just as endeared, scanning slowly from side-to-side, a carefree expression on her face. She looks so much more content than the last time Olivia saw her in a celebratory crowd. She’s cooler than cool. They walk beside each other so closely their shoulders bump, and ever so often one glances over and the other smiles in reassurance.

Then, because of course, they are hollered at by familiar faces.

“Cass! Liv!”

Lysette is walking over -- no, sauntering -- complete with what looks to be a giant inflatable hammer under her arm, and an ember-colored soda bottle in the other. She looks like a fabulous lumberjack, flannel, belt, boots and all. And a smug face of victory.

“High Striker champion strikes again?” Cassandra asks with a clever laugh.

Behind Lysette, a man looking like Rylen...or, sounding like Rylen, the way he’s cussing, is taking his turn at the game. Surrounded by several other bros, all chuckling and gesturing towards him as if to give pointers. Pointers he’s definitely not taking.

“Agh, what can I say,” Lysette shrugs, looking over her shoulder. “He’ll be the last to call himself a loser.”

“That’s for sure.” Cassandra tilts her head, brow raised. “He’s lucky I’ve retired.”

Olivia gapes a little at the tall machine. “You played that?”

Lysette laughs and hits Cassandra playfully on the shoulder with her balloon trophy, which Cass brushes off while smirking. “Cass taught me the magic,” she corrects proudly and takes a swig, “it’s from her that I inherited this heavy crown.”

Olivia’s brows lift into outer space as she looks over at her girlfriend, thinking of course she would, and Cassandra looks modestly self-satisfied.

“Eh, well--” Lysette is interrupted by Rylen’s roar. They all turn around and see him, huffing and puffing like the wolf from the three little pigs story, strike hammer in hand.

“Lys, you get your ass ov--h-hey! Liv! Cass!”

Olivia waves a little sheepishly. Cass nods. Lysette takes another glug of her beer. Poor Rylen couldn’t be gesturing toward a more unimpressed crowd of women. But, never one to be discouraged, he struts over swinging the thing like a baseball bat.

“Either of you wanna take me on for the Striker?” he asks it generally, but his eyes stay on Olivia. The petite dancer, of course. Easy target.

“Almost didn’t recognize you in the dress, Liv. C’mon,” he says, holding it out to her. “Take a swing!”

Olivia lets out a cautious laugh, and gently pushes the hammer away. Before she can give an excuse, Cassandra inches closer to her, until their sides are up against each other. It sends an excited chill down her spine.

“Don’t get her caught up in your losing streak, Rylen,” Cassandra defends her.

“Yeah,” Lysette snickers, “no need to pull innocent lives down with you, dude.”

Rylen looks sincerely confused at this disrespect, spreading his arms out wide to puff out his chest. “Ya’ll just don’t want to mess with the hometown glory!”

“That’s one way of putting it,” Olivia giggles, taking the opportunity to slide an arm around Cassandra’s waist. Cassandra is steady and warm. Irresistable.

“We’re going to walk around some more before getting looped into games,” Cassandra says to Lysette, who happily nods and side-steps toward Rylen.

“Come on,” she says, nudging him, “I’m not done with my streak.”

Liberated, Cassandra and Olivia turn to the left and walk on, her arm staying around her and Cassandra sending hers over Olivia’s shoulder. It’s one of the first acts of public affection they’ve done in a place like this. Well, that is, as a definite couple. The milestone is not lost on Liv, who for the first time since waking up in the morning has started to let the anxious “what if’s” slide. Cassandra isn’t dodging her, nor is she ignoring her. She’s here, she’s cheerful, and they’re here, together. The way Olivia’s head fits against the crook of Cassandra’s neck is perfect.

“He was right about one thing,” Cassandra says as they walk down an aisle of stands. “You in a bright blue dress feels like a rarity.”

Olivia smirks and folds some wisps of hair behind her ear. “I live to shock and amaze.”

“That you do. You hungry?”

“Actually, kinda. I was hoping we could go to--”

“--the funnel cake stand?”

Olivia freezes and pulls away just a bit, just to be able to look up at her with eyes wide and mouth open. Cassandra looks back at her, a bit surprised.

“Yes…” Olivia says slowly, “but the only flavor that is valid is…”

Cassandra, catching the hint, chuckles softly. “Strawberry.”

“Agh!” Olivia lays her head back and smiles, leaning into her some more like before. “See, babe, it’s the little things that get me.”

Cassandra’s chuckling continues to bubble as she wraps her arms around her. As she pulls her in, she mumbles a soft caution: “careful, easy on me.”

Olivia is eyes closed and latched onto her like a koala when she hears it, and immediately backs off like they’re suddenly magnet ends.

“Oh my gosh, I’m sorry! Ugh, I forg--”

Cassandra tilts a bit in reaction to the sudden shift of weight, and takes hold of Olivia’s flailing hands before they make her airborne. “Hey! Easy!”

Hands secured and attention obtained, Olivia once again freezes in a state of stress.

“Liv, I’m okay,” Cassandra comforts with confidence. “I’m not a piece of fine china.”

Olivia can feel the embarrassed blush as she relaxes her arms. They stay linked, Cassandra rubbing the back of her hands with her thumbs.

“I...I know that, I so know that,” Olivia repeats, “I’m sorry. I’m s--”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Cassandra adds, further dispelling the worry.

“No, yeah. Yeah,” Olivia shakes her head fast, almost dizzying herself if not for Cassandra’s close presence. “Um, listen. Uh, hm…”

Cassandra blinks. “You okay?”

She looks so open, so understanding. Liv could tell her, she could just say it. Or, she could have a bit more mercy for her and not unload all of this on what is supposed to be a good, lighthearted night out. But would it help the stone in her gut, or the noiseless but deafening sensation in her head, between her ears? Will it make the dull but deep sense of dread subside?

“Cass, I…” her voice shakes a bit. Now she’s starting to become overwhelmed by all of the sensory overload and busy energy around them. Her cheeks go from hot to cold.

“Olivia,” Cass says softly, coming closer. There’s a new look in her eyes, one that is least lost and confused. “We should go over to the picnic tables, okay? Just hold onto my hand and follow me.”

Olivia follows the instructions to the letter. After all, it isn’t exactly an unthinkable task holding onto her and letting her take the lead. Cassandra leads them over to where a few picnic tables form a semi-circle facing the venue, all but one taken up by people. It’s as if the last empty one was reserved especially for her unpredictable episode should she need it.

But this isn’t an episode, right? God, she hopes not.

“Have a seat,” Cassandra requests. Olivia, ever the dissenting queer, sits on the edge of the picnic table rather than the bench seats on either side. Her hands clamp on the wood while Cassandra stands in front of her, taking off her prized new jacket.

“W-what are you doing?”

“The thing that happens in every teenage romance film pre-dating 2005,” Cassandra replies. She then loops the jacket up and around Olivia’s shoulders. It’s a size or two bigger than she would wear, which makes it perfect. Olivia’s spine goes straighter than she’s ever been in her life, and she clutches the ends of it against herself like a blanket.

Cassandra rubs up and down Olivia’s arms, slow but vigorous. The athlete is showing. “There.”

Olivia, feeling so sheepish she could be cast as an extra for a Charlotte’s Web remake, stares and rolls her lips shut. She feels better, but if she doesn’t let herself breathe, it’ll all surely get worse.

“Are you in a place to tell me what’s going on, or should I just distract you?”

Olivia’s fast becoming enthralled in just how prepared Cassandra is. If only she could say marveling at her was distracting enough without sounding corny. Yet, she’s asked the million-dollar question: can she say it, or should she? Without thinking, her gaze flashes to either side of Cassandra’s shoulders toward the crowds. Cassandra notices and immediately hooks a finger under Olivia’s chin.

“Olivia, don’t worry about them,” she says and guides her attention back to her. Butterflies.

Olivia parts her lips and lets herself sigh. “I can’t.” She takes hold of her hand and guides it to rest in both of hers in her lap. “I wish I could, but I can’t. I don’t want to. Not here. We’re supposed to be having a good time.”

“What we are supposed to be doing doesn’t matter.”

“I know, but, I’m okay. I just need a second. I promise.” She says it honestly. She can enjoy this, if she just gives herself permission to without scolding at every turn for mistakes she had no intention of making. “Just a minute to cool down.”

“Okay.” Cassandra turns and slides onto the table right next to her, for which Olivia gladly scoots over. She lets go of her just so she can hold onto the jacket again. The sun is heading toward the mountains in the distance, but the evening is still far out.

After a moment’s silence -- well, silent as one can get amid a fall carnival -- Olivia takes her first solid breath. The feeling in her throat is cooling down, and the tension in her chest is releasing. Her wandering eyes go across from the horizon to the next tallest thing: the ferris wheel, where it looks like a couple very similar to Ellinor and Cullen are in one of the carts. If only she could see past the obstruction of a giant stuffed animal.

Knowing them, that probably confirms that it is, in fact, them. It makes her snort.

Cassandra picks up on the reappearance of good humor. “Feeling better?”

In return Olivia looks over and gives her perhaps the first real and relaxed smile of the entire day. “Yes, a lot. Thank you.”

Many yards away, near a ring toss stand, two people begin to wave. Olivia zeroes in and sees that one has a beautifully-crafted side-braid of black hair and a fabulous ruffled coat. The other is a less-familiar face, but not a stranger’s.

“Oh, Josie!” Olivia says, and waves back. Josie is holding a smaller stuffed animal, bright pink, looking like a teddy bear. The other person says some words to her, looking like a question.

She looks happy. That’s good.

“Where’s Theia?” Cassandra asks, sticking a pin in the moment without even knowing.

Taking another breath, Olivia leans her shoulder into hers and groans.

“Am I missing something?”

Olivia sighs. “You and me both. I’ll explain later.” Her phone dings from her bag. She looks up and sees Josie and her company gone, only to look down at her phone and have an answer:

Josie: I hope we can link up before either of us leaves and take a pic! You both look adorable!

She hums in speculation, and replies:

Olivia: Yes please!!

With one click and toss, her phone is back in her back, and her sense is back in her head. Ariana Grande’s song “Tattooed Heart” has started to play on the Carnival DJ speakers.

“I love this song,” she smiles, and sways a little to the beat. “How are you feeling?”

Cassandra rolls her shoulders as she leans back a little. “Great, I have no complaints.”

“Really?”

She takes one look at Olivia’s hopeful look and bites the side of her lip. “I mean, I still have my expectations. Firstly, the funnel cake. Secondly, I do want to see you take a swing at the High Striker. Third, I--”

“Oh, what!” Olivia scoffs playfully, “That hammer looks taller than me and about as heavy!”

Cassandra smirks. “With me coaching you, Love, you can’t lose.”

Butterflies, part two. “I...suppose you have a point. But if it’s gonna happen, I’ll need that funnel cake to help hold me down.”

“Deal.”

Love. I like that nickname. Hell, I’d change my name to it, why not?

She hops down with her spirit anew, and helps Cassandra back onto her feet. Just a little help, as a treat, since Cass is right: she isn’t fragile, and Olivia doesn’t have to worry. Watching the people she depends on for strength deal with physical limitations doesn’t always have to be a crisis. It might have been in the past, but the here and now is what matters. And she is allowed to believe that.

They hold hands that gently swing as walk back into the crowds. It goes from feeling like a minefield to that scene in Rapunzel where she and Eugene are frolicking among the city folk. Friendly faces turn and offer smiles and “hello’s,” and they wave back. It’s easy. It’s effortless and thrilling at the same time. The popping and bell sounds are no longer menacing. The heat of the day is no longer suffocating.

And, at last, they find their way to the main event: that beautiful funnel cake truck, with its beautiful plates bigger than her faze of fried dough, strawberries, and whip cream. After dousing it in powdered sugar because, of course you douse it in powdered sugar, she approaches Cassandra with a bit of purposeful mischief.

Smart to the look, Cassandra raises a brow, holding her fork in ready. “You pull anything, Sinclair, and it’s war.”

“Whaaat?” Olivia asks coyly, pinning her own fork between her teeth and smiling. She’s holding the plate in both hands like a holiday pie.

“You know what. Don’t even think about it.”

“I just thought maybe you could do a little taste test a--AAH!” she can’t even get the tagline out before Cassandra strikes the first blow, scooping a dollop of cream onto her fingers and smearing it across Olivia’s nose and cheek. She squeaks in a pitch nearly at Ellinor-level, and stands there, shocked and holding the pie while her fork falls from her mouth onto the plate. Eyes wide, mouth agape, and face whipped.

She can’t believe it. Cassandra, standing there, smug and unable to run. But it’s not like she would, anyway. The woman stands and is judged for her crimes just as she is for her wins.

“I…” Olivia huffs, “Did you just seriously…?”

Cassandra, folding her arms with one hand going to her mouth as she only half-conceals her kind of playful grin, only plays dumb: “What? I have no idea what you are referring to!”

“Is this revenge for the ice cream?”

“I would prefer to call it a preventative measure.”

“Preventative...for what? I was only going to feed you the first bite!”

Cassandra’s eyes narrow. “Sure, Olivia, sure.”

“I was! Dammit, I was being a nice girlfriend! I swear!”

“I suppose we will never know, now,” Cassandra laughs and takes the napkins Olivia has in her hand, the ones she’s forgotten about during this heinous act of assassination. Carefully she unfolds it and hooks her finger under Olivia’s chin like before, only now she tilts it to the side so as to get the prime angle.

“Hold still,” she’s still laughing a little as she wipes off most of the whip cream. Olivia’s eyes are adrift to the floor but she can’t resist glancing. Glancing turns to staring. A brief moment in time where everything is messy, but everything is wonderful. Cassandra looks so thoughtful, so kind.

Such a pity, since she’s in for it.

Striking just as quick, Olivia leans her cheek in and rubs it across Cassandra’s mouth and tip of her nose. Most of the mess is already off her face, but they can still share in the stickiness.

“Ha!” She beams, bouncing back. “Rules of engagement are rules of engagement, Pentaghast!” She grabs her fork and points it at her like a defensive weapon.

Cassandra chuckles and folds the napkin she had in half, looking down at the floor modestly like she knew it was coming. She isn’t mad, though. Far from it. And she definitely isn’t mad when Olivia offers to take the napkin from her and pay her due, cleaning off her face.

“You know, sometimes,” Cassandra says more quietly, as Olivia finishes with one last brush along her chin for good measure, “I...I can be very bad at allowing someone else to take care of me.” The silliness has slipped from her tone.

Olivia goes still, her hand full of scrunched, stained napkin still caressing Cassandra’s jaw. Their eyes meet, and in the hazel hue she can see it. She can see the recognition, the apology for the amount of little things that have become a pile of a bigger thing. She knows. She knew in the kitchen earlier that day, and she knows now. And for some reason Olivia, who has always been team “an apology means saying the words,” this feels like it means something deep. Something trusting and vulnerable.

Something definitely forgivable.

And so, tossing the napkin to the trash a couple feet from where they stand, Olivia grins wide and cuts into the plate of precious funnel cake until she skewers a perfect bite-sized piece of cake, cream, and berries. Then, holding it up for just a few seconds, she then stuffs it into her own mouth. She then holds the plate out to Cassandra, who grasps the plate edge with one hand.

“Don’t worry,” Olivia says with a mouth half-full, “I suck sometimes at letting others care for themselves. Maybe we both need to learn when to just stuff our faces and let things happen.”

Cassandra, looking relieved and with fondness, begins to dig in with her own fork. “You might be onto something, there.”

Though she can never not overthink things, Olivia is happy to think ahead with this one: their edges and sharp points aren’t what they used to be. The intuition she had to just ride the wave and let things play out proved vindicated. It’s uncertainty that isn’t tragic. It’s hopeful. Is this what it feels like, then, to be falling in love?

Bring it on, Hammer Strike.

#college au #modern thedas au #olivia sinclair #college!olivia #ellinor trevelyan #friends fic #chapter update #fic update #CARNIVAL FEELS

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serendipitous-magic · 4 years

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Question Game - AKA Oversharing Hour

I was tagged by @the-angry-pixie! And I’m a chronic oversharer, so this was fun. I’ll put most of it under a read more line because there’s a LOT.

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen?

Black. Dunno why.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city?

City city city city city city city city. I’m already going fucking batshit as it is, trapped in suburbia. I want to be able to actually do things, anything. Anything other than just being around the house and / or work. (And I felt like this before the pandemic started.) If you live in the city you can walk out your door and be somewhere else within like 5 minutes. A city park, a cafe, a train/subway, a local attraction, a museum, an artist’s booth, an outdoor market, etc. etc.

Living in suburbia is like, well, to go literally anywhere you have to get into your car first and drive like 10 minutes minimum to get out of the neighborhood, and then if you want to go anywhere that’s not the grocery store you have to drive 20 minutes to get to another area of town, and then once you get there that’s the only place you can be without getting into your car again and getting a nice shot of anxiety from having to drive in traffic and have aggressive drivers roar up on your ass because you’re going 5mph above the speed limit and they want to be going 15mph above, and god help you if you have to merge, and oh by the way this is your only option to get around because public transit doesn’t really exist in any useful way in Big Suburbia, and nothing in within walking distance of your house except like 2 playgrounds and maybe one (1) gas station. (I hate it here lmao)

If I was trapped in the country I’d probably be chill with it for about a week, and enjoy the break, and the on day 8 I’d snap and go on a murdering spree out of stir-craziness.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be?

I want to learn German and eventually be fluent in it. But since I’ve already started trying to learn and I don’t know if that counts, I’ll say cinematography. As in the actual working of the camera and lighting and all that. I can dream up some pretty striking images but actually getting the camera to do the settings needed to capture them is another story entirely.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar?

Nope. I drink coffee and tea both, and I don’t put any kind of sweetener in either of them. I used to put a shitton of sugar in my coffee and honey in my tea, and then I had some mild eating disorder struggles in college and I never got back in the habit of putting stuff in my hot drinks after that. It just tastes wrong now, after being used to plain black coffee.

5. What was your favourite book as a child?

Either the Harry Potter series or The Hobbit. My grandma would take care of me a lot when I was really little because my parents both worked full time to support us, and every single time I was at her house she’d sit us down at the dining room table and read something to me. Not Junie B. Jones or anything, either, but real, big, thick books. I loved the shit out of Harry Potter and The Hobbit; I would request them repeatedly. We pretty much went back and forth; we’d read Harry Potter, and then The Hobbit, and then when a new Harry Potter book came out we’d read that, and then The Hobbit again, and so on and so forth.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers?

Showers. I love baths, they’re magical, but ain’t nobody got time for that unless it’s a special occasion. I got too much shit to do to spend an hour lying in the bathtub.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be?

Vampire. Purely on the basis that if I was immortal maybe I’d finally have time to get my to-do list done and accomplish things. I’d miss the sunlight though.

8. Paper or electronic books?

Paper. Here’s the thing, I really want to enjoy ebooks, but they just don’t hold my attention at all. Maybe I’m too conditioned by the internet to have a short attention span when I’m looking at a screen, idk.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing?

I have a dark gray hoodie from the Seattle Aquarium from when I went on a road trip across America with my BFF a few years ago. It’s still my absolute favorite thing. I also enjoy my hiking boots a lot. (I wear them all the time, really they should just be called “everyday boots” haha)

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it?

I like my name and I would also like to start going by something different. Probably just because I’m a restless soul and I feel the best (and least trapped) when I’m on the move or when things are changing. The second I get somewhere I want to be somewhere else. That’s just how I am. Gwen is a cool name (I’ve personally met maybe 3 people in my whole life with the same name, face-to-face), but there’s a lot attached to that nickname that I don’t necessarily want to carry with me when I eventually escape my hometown and start down a new path.

11. Who is a mentor to you?

A friend and former professor whom I usually refer to online as Producer Man. He’s a producer (as you may have guessed) who kind of took me under his wing after I was in one of his film classes in college. We work together on film projects now and he’s teaching me bit-by-bit (usually by way of long, rambling, tangential stories / lectures) about the industry. He’s a really good guy. Like, he for sure has a case of Old White Guy sometimes, but his heart is absolutely in the right place. “He’s a little confused, but he’s got the spirit.” He’s always leaving $10 tips at coffee places and working himself to the bone to get his students connected to jobs and internships that will help them with their careers.

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for?

Yes, my stories. Actually, “famous” is not the right word. It’s just that fame is so tightly associated with success in our society. I want to be successful. Whether I’m widely known or not is pretty inconsequential to me. I want to make stories and I want them to have an impact. Books, film, etc. It’s about as simple as that.

13. Are you a restless sleeper?

Oh yeah. I have trouble sleeping as much as I should because I usually kind of jerk awake in the morning with this vague feeling that I forgot something or that I’m late for something. Also I stay up later than I should because I’m a night owl, and yet I like being up early because early mornings are great. And usually if I dream at all it’s something kind of stressful, like I dream that I forgot something important or did something wrong. I’m a Stressed Bean.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person?

I think so, yeah. I’m pretty obsessed with the idea of romance (I mean look at my OTPs), but heteronormativity got me fucked up enough that I’m bad at actually navigating real romantic feelings or relationships because society never prepared me for The Gay.

15. Which element best represents you?

Fire, probably.

16. Who do you want to be closer to?

My mom. We fight a lot and there tends to be a lot of tension between us. It’s a long complicated story. It boils down to, she really hurt me when I came out as not-straight at 15 and she lost all of my trust and even though she’s working on being less homophobic we’re still kind of trying to repair that divide seven years later.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment?

Dude, I miss everyone. I’m an introvert and I’d love to be at a big party right now. I miss socialization. (As does everyone.)

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory.

The first time I experienced deja vu, I was about eehhh 6? And I legitimately believed, for several years of my life, that I had future-predicting abilities. Like, supernatural-level future-predicting abilities. Because I didn’t really know what deja vu was, so I thought, every time it happened, that I had already ~seen~ that moment in my dreams or something. 🤣

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten?

Hm. (My immature ass brain yells “DICK.” No, brain. Those were dark heteronormative times. Also, grow up.)

Probably some of the sushi in Seattle. I actually love sushi, it’s just that when it has full-on legs and eyeballs I start getting a little squeamish. I like the rolls and the kind where there’s some fish meat laid out on a nice little bed of rice, that’s delicious. But when they brought out the whole shrimp with legs still attached, I was like “How in the (redacted) am I going to chew / swallow that.”

20. What are you most thankful for?

That I happened to be living with family when this pandemic hit. I was supposed to move out (and across the country, actually) as of... like 4 days ago, as it happens. That was the plan. Plane ticket was gonna be booked for 7/15/20. Obviously, things didn’t quite work out that way, because of the pandemic and a few other reasons. But I can’t imagine if I had been in an apartment living with roommates, or in an apartment on my own struggling to get by, when this happened. A lot of people couldn’t pay rent and lost their homes. I was very, very lucky to be where I was, when I was, and very lucky that I have family who let me stay in their house pretty much indefinitely while this clusterfuck of a year happens.

21. Do you like spicy food?

Yes! I looooove spicy thai food especially. I miss the massaman curry from a local Thai place so much 😭

22. Have you ever met someone famous?

Um. Maybe? I met Veronica Roth once at an author talk in the library where I work, although it was before I worked there. And I met some guy from New Zealand who’s famous for his sword fighting skills because my dad does sword fighting stuff. Don’t remember his name though.

23. Do you keep a diary or journal?

Yep. I have to write down everything or I forget. (I often say I have the memory of a goldfish.) Also, I have this compulsion to record and preserve my experiences in life, because I feel like our time on Earth is so fleeting and if I don’t write down what’s important to me, I’ll forget it and lose it.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil?

Pen. Pencil gets smudged.

25. What is your star sign?

Scorpio, which is ironic because they’re supposed to be ~hyper sexual~ I guess, and I’m like gray-ace or something in that zone.

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy?

Crunchy. Who eats soggy cereal? Are you okay? Do you need help? This is an intervention.

27. What would you want your legacy to be?

My stories. Life and sentience, as we experience it, is made up of just that: experience. And I read somewhere that, on some level, the human brain doesn’t differentiate that much between real life experiences and fictional experiences. I think that’s true. If you read or watch or hear the right story, it can really touch you and change the way you see life, or even change the way you live life. Stories have an incredible amount of power, both in individual people’s lives and in larger society. A huge amount of power. I want to be able to give people experiences that will Enrich Their Lives (do I sound like a lifestyle coach yet? 🤦🏼‍♀️), but also stories that actively do good in society. Positive representation, body positivity/neutrality, diversity, healthy relationships (Hollywood has a real problem with that). Hope. It’s the best thing I can think to give society, and storytelling is what I love to do.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read?

I love reading. I wish I did it more. Part of my problem is that I get caught up in the hectic Rat Race of modern society and I never feel like I have time to sit down with a book for hours. Another problem of mine is that I start too many things at once, meaning I currently have like 5-10 (I lost count) books that I started reading, and I want to finish all of them, which means no progress ever gets done on any of them.

I last finished The Goldfinch, and I am currently working on The Secret History, Good Omens, Dune, a book my dad wrote, Directing Actors, Shot by Shot, The Way of Kings and I forget what else.

29. How do you show someone you love them?

Physical affection, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, and gifts, in that order. If I’m close to someone, whether romantically or not, I want all the affection. And I’m kind of dying in quarantine.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks?

Depends. I usually don’t put any in, because it’s just gonna water down the drink and get in the way of drinking it (you know when the ice attacks your face?), but I don’t really mind ice in my drinks.

31. What are you afraid of?

Helplessness. I Have Control Issues. ✌️ Also stagnation.

32. What is your favourite scent?

Amber. Or any scent that’s kind of autumn-y. You know what I mean. Some other examples include dryer sheets, wood smoke, cigarette smoke (my big sister used to smoke a long long time ago, and although I never saw her do it, I still associate the scent with her), pine resin, rain, that Mahogany Woods scent from Bath and Bodyworks.

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname?

If they introduce themselves as Pam I call them Pam. If they introduce themselves as Mr. Brown I call them Mr. Brown.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

If “money is not a factor” means I have an infinite amount of money to spend as I wish, then: buy land, build film studio complex on land, found company, hire fellow creatives, make movies.

If “money is not a factor” just means that I don’t have to work 40 hours a week to afford rent, then: move to Chicago, rent a nice studio apartment, write stories, maybe work 15 hours a week at a used bookstore or coffee shop to get me out of the house and socialize. Go to museums, go to the park, walk along Lake Michigan, go to gay bars, ride the train, brave the Illinois winters, own a cat, paint, play guitar. Build my actual career on writing / storytelling. Probably also do some filmmaking.

Alternatively: buy an RV (not like an American Trailer Park shitty RV, I’m talking the NOICE ones), buy good film equipment, be a freelancer, live in RV driving around to wherever the next filming location is. Life is a road trip and I’m doing what I love. Writing, storytelling, filmmaking. My home would travel with me. Writing in cafes; roadside attractions; early mornings on the road with coffee in the cup holder as the sun comes up; being able to go anywhere to film; always experiencing something new.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean?

I’ve lived in a landlocked state my whole life, so I guess swimming pools. And, listen, I CANNOT get water in my mouth at the beach without wondering exactly how many kids have peed (or worse) in that water. (I know that’s a thing with pools too, but pools get cleaned.)

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground?

Wonder what some poor European is doing in America right now. But if it was $50, I’d probably yell “DID ANYONE DROP THIS?” and then take it if no one speaks up.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star?

A few times, yeah.

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children?

Grades are not the end-all-be-all. Skip some homework assignments to spend time with friends. Skip class sometimes. I’m serious. If you make school your top priority, even over your own personal life, you will come away with good grades and a lot of regret and missed opportunities. Learning is HELLA important, and very very little of it happens inside a school building. Get a 15 hour weekend or after-school job in high school, befriend your coworkers, and have fun with it. Use your paychecks however you want. Join a school club - one that you’re actually interested in. Do stupid shit. Light your textbooks on fire after graduation or go to the 24 hour Wendy’s at 2am with your friends or kiss that person you met at summer camp or sleep on the porch because it’s too hot to sleep inside. Be smart and safe, but follow your whims. If you let yourself fall into routine, apathy will poison you.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

I already have a couple small ones, but the one I want next is a four-leaf clover. Don’t know where. Maybe my right inner wrist or maybe an ankle. Or like behind my ear. Luck has saved me so many times. (See above, with how I happened to be living with family when COVID hit.)

40. What can you hear now?

Swamp cooler downstairs, the clock ticking in my office, cars outside, people moving around the house. I’m surprised the neighbor kids aren’t shrieking their absolute heads off as per the usual.

41. Where do you feel the safest?

When I’m alone and unobserved.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

TMI warning, but I absolutely despise public bathrooms. How am I expected to pee when there’s somebody sitting like three (3) feet away, with only a partial wall between us, hearing everything that’s going on? My fight or flight response simply will not allow it. It’s too awkward and therefore Not Safe. Either that public restroom has to be empty except for me, or it has to be so loud and bustling that ain’t nobody hearing anything. Anything in-between and I’m in hell.

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be?

The ‘80s. Let’s be honest, even that far back makes my life (as a woman, and as a gay person) hella difficult. But, consider this: it’s the ‘80s. Furthermore, consider this: a part-time job might have actually supported me and paid rent back then 😱 Holy fucking shit. Sign me up. I just wouldn’t want to go any further than than like 1980, because again: lesbian. Being a woman in the past = even harder than it is today, being gay in the past = even harder than it is today, being a gay woman in the past = oh no.

44. What is your most used emoji?

In order of descending frequency:

😂🙄😊😁🤦🏼‍♀️👀😬🌈🤷🏼‍♀️😙

45. Describe yourself using one word.

Creative

46. What do you regret the most?

Wasting my entire teenage experience. (See #38.) I did quite literally nothing with my life except homework for like 18 years. If I had taken even a tenth as much time for myself as I did for school, I would be so much farther along as a person today.

47. Last movie you saw?

In the theaters? ........ uh. Shit, I don’t actually remember. It’s been like 5 months. (As it has for everyone.) But the last movie I watched was Lights Out, because I’ve been watching the director’s youtube channel. You could tell it was low-budget and that the director was still kind of finding his stride, but it had a lot of heart behind it and the creators clearly gave a fuck, which made it enjoyable. I am firmly in the camp of “not everything has to be a Magnum Opus or have a multi-billion dollar budget to be a good movie.” If I engaged with it and got some sort of emotional experience out of it, and if it had a good message, I consider it a good movie.

48. Last tv show you watched?

I don’t usually watch a whole lot of TV shows (who has the time?) but I think the last thing I watched was either The Witcher or that new Unsolved Mysteries miniseries on Netflix. Oh and I was watching Dead to Me because I just love Linda Cardellini’s face and I want to wrap Judy up in a blanket and cuddle the shit out of her and protect her from all things 🥺 My precious beautiful unstable sweet murder baby.

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning.

Apapanic. It’s where you’re so stressed about things that half of your brain is panicking but the other half is so overwhelmed that it circled all the way back around to being calm to the point of apathy, so you just kind of sit there like

#about me #tag game #except as usual i'm not gonna tag people because I don't have to social energy to ask people to do things #sorry i know that's kind of cheating #if you wanna overshare just say I tagged you lol #personal #tmi

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