#( ivy ; headcanons )

[inimikal-archive]

Time  for  a  big  Ivy  thought  dump  bc  the  brain  rot’s  real  today.  So  to  start  I  don’t  think  Ivy  is  “naturally”  able  to  charm  anyone.  She’s  not  particularly  charming  or  manipulative.  She’s  always  been  considered  weird  &  little  off-beat.  Her  physical  beauty ?  Exceptional.  Her  social  skills  &  grace ?  Near-non  existent.  As  a  normal  human,  despite  her  also  being  incredibly  intelligent  ( Eventually  becoming  a  botanist  &  toxicologist )  it  was  really  her  physical  beauty  that  has  ever  caused  anyone  to  take  interest  in  her.  &  she  would  be  oblivious  to  it  if  she  wasn’t  forced  to  take  notice  of  it  because  people  suck  &  are  creeps. Still  previous  to  her  “transformation”  this  was  really  back-of-the-mind,  don’t  think  about  it  unless  something  explicitly  made  her  recognise  it. 

But  as  a  mutant  Ivy’s  dangerous.  She’s  predatory  &  she's  misanthropic  (leaning  a  little  further  toward  misandry,  entirely  trauma  based).  She’s  highly  “antisocial”  per say,  &  she’s  learned  to  harness  her  abilities  to  do  it.  But  again  she  doesn’t  really  have  a  lot  of  natural  charm  &  becoming  a  semi-undead  mutant  didn’t  increase  this  aspect  of  her  socially,  she  just  secretes  a  potent  pheromone  that  makes  people  far  more  susceptible  to  her  suggestions  which  she’s  had  to  become  aware  of  it  because  she  can’t  seem  to  turn  it  off  naturally  (much  to  her  dismay).   It’s  not  only  men  that  this  effects,  btw,  but  occasionally  it  seems  more  potent  with  (*straight  or  bi)  men,  but  its  because  they’re  more  likely  to  feel  attracted  to  her  physically,  which  seems  to  make  the  pheromone  work  better  on  them.  It  inspires  devotion  to  her  &  when  there's  a  form  of  physical  attraction  present  people  tend  to  get  their  wires  crossed  &  it  can  quickly  turn  into  romantic  obsession.  It  however  works  on  everyone,  regardless  to  sexuality  /  gender.  For  straight  fems  &  gay  mascs  its  just  like,  more  of   feeling  very,   very  compelled  to  do  as  Ivy  wants  &  to  be  friendly / close  to  her.  Devotion,  but  without  the  common  romantic / sexual  infatuation  that  tends  to  effect  straight  &  bi  mascs  &  bi  &  lesbian  fems.  She’s  a  siren  very  much  in  the  traditional  /  mythological  sense  of  the  term,  she  uses  this  power  to  lead  people  astray  &  get  what  she  wants.  This,  while  def  having  its  advantages,  has  compounded  with  her  trauma  in  making  her  extremely  distrustful  toward  others.  Since  she  can’t  naturally  turn  it  off  ( though  I  imagine  it  can  be  artificially  weakened,  as  can  her  other  powers,  just  for  the  sake  of  being  able  to  contain  her  in  Arkham )  she  can’t  often  be  sure  if  people  are  being  nice  / friendly  to  her  out  of  authenticity  or  because  of  the  pheromone  she  secretes.  I  also  follow  the  idea  that  she’s  also  highly  poisonous / venomous  but  this  seems  to  be  something  she  does  have  some  form  of  control  over.  I  like  to  keep  some  comic  canon  in  the  sense  that  this  is  something  she  is  able  to  develop  an  antidote  for,  so  that  not  everyone  who  is  kissed / bitten  by  her  has  to  die  or  become  dangerously  ill.  That  being  said  she’s  usually  the  only  one  who  possesses  the  antidote  &  its  in  limited  supply  without  her.  I  also  don’t  portray  Ivy  as  like. . .  Caring  about  plants  to  an  all  consuming  extent.  She’s  a  lowkey  echo  warrior  but  not  to  a  nonsensical  extreme.  The  fact  is  Ivy  has  always  loved  plants,  gardening  &  nature,  but  she’s  not  entirely  illogical  about  it.  The  thing  is  however  she  is  extremely  chlorokinetic  &  she  uses  those  powers  to  their  fullest.  She  can  &  will  influence  all  organic / plant  life  around  her.  She  is  able  to  alter / mutate  plants / vegetation  &  typically  any  plant  that  has  come  in  contact  with  her  power / influence  will  be  genetically  different  to  whatever  it  started  life  as.  A  lot  of  the  plants  Ivy  influences  become  aggressive  &  are  entirely  susceptible  to  her  will  but  will  function  in  a  monstrous / predatory  manner  entirely  on  their  own.  Others  simply  become  jumbo  size  &  are  extremely  strong.  They  occasionally  start  doing  really  weird  shit  that  isn’t  really  “normal”  for  plants,  or  otherwise  they  do  things  that  plants  might  normally  do  but  on  a  much  smaller  scale  thus  meaning  it  doesn’t  normally  effect  or  cause  any  issues  for  the  majority,  so  suddenly  when  Ivy  amplifies  them  it  becomes  a  problem.  Think  the  killer  plants  scene  from  Jumanji  amplified  by  100.  You  can  imagine  how  truly  dangerous  this  makes  Ivy  if  she's  able  to  have  any  unrestrained  contact  with  plants / vegetation.  She  can  essentially  make  biological  weapons  out  of  any  plant  life  within  an  instant.   Its  more  Ivy’s  misanthropy  that  drives  her  than  her  concern  for  plant  life  however.  As  a  result  yes,  she  is  a  echo /  bio  terrorist,  yes  she  does  lash  out  under  the  pretence  of  preserving  /  aiding  the  environment  &  she  does  genuinely  believe  in  this  to  an  extent   but  the more  excessive  aspects  of  it  is  her  hatred  of  people  &  a  misguided  sense  that  she's  ultimately  helping  someone / something  in  the  process.  She  uses  her  powers  to  promote  green-life  &  given  the  way  Ivy’s  plants  are,  ie  are  naturally  predators  they  are  actively  hostile  to  humans  /  animals  /  insects  which  is  ultimately  not  great  for  the  environment,  since  they  have  the  capacity  to  COMPLETELY  alter  life  on  earth  as  we  know  it.  &  after  experience  Ivy  does  come  to  realise  this.  She's  not  out  for  plants  to  take  over  the  world,  because  she  doesn’t  care  about  world  domination,  but  she  will  weaponize  them  for  her  own  means. Whether  for  self  defence  or  as  a  means  of  exerting  her  will / force.    As  I  mentioned  the  result  of  all  this  makes  Ivy  one  of  the  most  powerful  meta-humans  known.  She's  also  an  object  of  scientific  intrigue  as  are  the  plants  she  influences.  A  few  have  probably  been  taken  &  kept  as  lab  specimens,  but  there  is  only  ONE  Ivy  therefore  she's  not  really  able  to  be  studied  effectively.  Theres  been  attempts,  but  they  don’t  go  anywhere  largely  because  Ivy  is  still  recognised  as  a  human  with  rights,  &  she  is  particularly  protected  as  such  within  Gotham  city  (probably  a  lot  thanks  to  the  influence  of  Batsy / Bruce,  but  I  also  think  its  fair  to  say  the  population  of  Gotham  has  grown  to  take  a  weird  pride  in  their  “home-grown  freaks”  &  can  be  protective  /  supportive  of  them  in  cases  like  this )  But  its  not  uncommon  for  others  to  try  &  violate  these  rights  in  the  name  of  the  greater  good.  As  a  RESULT  &  through  experience  with  these  things,  when  Ivy  isn’t  in  Arkham  she’s  usually  left  alone  &  she  understands  the  danger  she's  in  by  acting  out  which  means  she's  very  reclusive  &  doesn’t  tend  to  associate  with  human  populations  if  she  can  help  it.  She  never  goes  far  from  Gotham  because  that  is  the  place  she  is  “protected”  but  usually  if  she's  not  in  Arkham  she’s  probably  hauled  up  somewhere  in  Gotham’s  surrounding  wilderness  in  a  personal  grove  of  protective  /  man  eating  plants.  Typically,  as  long  as  Ivy  isn’t  doing  anything  to  threaten  anyone  in  Gotham  she's  left  alone  &  the  general  consensus  is  if  you  stumble  upon  Ivy’s  grove  you  need  to  leave  asap  &  stay  away  from  her.  Shes  kinda  like  a  local  &  very  real  cryptid  in  that  regard. 

[ From  here ] 

#⊰ ° ‧: ｡* ⚘ 💀 ━◞ Out Of Character ⊱ #⊰ ° ‧: ｡* ⚘ 💀 ━◞ 𝓜𝓾𝓼𝓮 ↝ Ivy ⊱ #⊰ ° ‧: ｡* ⚘ 💀 ━◞ 𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓼 ↝ Ivy ⊱ #⊰ ° ‧: ｡* ⚘ 💀 ━◞ 𝓕𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓸𝓶 ↝ Dc / Gotham ⊱ #ivy headcanons

[yuckarmin]

HOW HE SOUNDS | gojo satoru nsfw audio ˖ ࣪ . 𖧧 ࿐

˚ . ₊˚⊹ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!! gojo x fem!reader, nsfw headcanon, gojo being a tease, edging(???), whimpering, nsfw audio [ please use headphones cuties! ] — mdni

GOJO is really vocal in my opinion. like he fucks, whines and moans like it’s the first and last time you’ll ever have sex. “f-fuuuck…” he just moans and moans.

he’s such a tease with it too as if he isn’t moaning and grunting his vocal cords away. “awh, you cryin’ ?” “feelin’ good? my cock’s got you so full huh, baby?” “right here?”

backshots, face in a pillow as he’s grabbing ur hips. you’re gripping the sheets for dear life while this man literally fucks you into the next dimension.

he definitely switches up position right like 3 times before he finally—finally lets you come. “you close? mm?”

source.

#ivy’s works ૮ ♡ ੭ #gojo x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujustsu kaisen x reader #gojo x reader smut #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo jjk #jjk reader #jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader smut #jjk headcanons #gojo x reader headcanons #jjk x reader headcanons

[confused-wanderer]

Dick: Hey guys what’s up?

Damian: Silence! this is a debate I intend to win.

Dick: huh?

Jason *eating popcorn* : You’re gonna wanna see this

Tim: BY FAR IT IS ONLY LOGICAL TO ASSUME-

Steph: LOGIC HAS NO PART YOU’RE JUST BIASED

Jason: They’re fighting over who was the loosest cannon Robin which caused the most chaos

Dick:

Dick *reaches for popcorn*

Jason *slaps his hand* : Nuh-uh Goldie only the one with the title of MOST CHAOTIC ROBIN gets to eat popcorn

Tim: YOU ARE A LITERAL ASSASSIN WHOS TRIED TO MURDER SEVERAL PEOPLE

Damian: REMIND ME OF YOUR BODYCOUNT?!

Dick: what now-

Drake: THAT WAS BARELY ANY AS ROBIN

Steph: Dudes I was literally Robin to piss off my dad and became friends with poison ivy and Harley

Jason: You’re all just competing for second place

Dick: .. wait what about me?

Everyone *stops and stares*

Damian: Nightwing, this is serious

Tim: Yeah dude I remember your reputation as Robin and you haven’t changed

Batman: .. are you all done with the bust?

Steph: BATSY! Just who we want to see! So.. tell us, who was the most chaotic robin ever

Batman *without hesitation* : Nightwing

Penguin *tied up after the bust* : Yeah it was blue

Damian:

Tim:

Steph:

Jason:

Dick *steals popcorn* : Y’all better start putting respect on my damn name

#dick Grayson #Stephanie brown #spoiler #Tim drake #red Robin #Tim drake robin #Damian wayne #Damian wayne robin #nightwing #Jason todd #Jason todd robin #Jason todd red hood #Harley Quinn #poison ivy #penguin #batman #Bruce Wayne #batfam headcanon #dick Grayson robin #incorrect quotes

[vodrae]

Asexual Jason Todd is actually the secret weapon of Batman.

Let me explain.

Every major female foes of the Bat used their sex appeal at one moment to distract the police, Arkham guards...

But, imagine Ivy increasing again and again and again the power of her pollen and Red Hood does not react. Maybe sneezing.

Circea trying to play whith his mind and

"Wtf are you doing ? Stop moving your hands like that."

Every teen heros getting caught lurking on Kori or Power Girl and he doesn't understand why those idiots can't start the meeting. Wtf does "My eyes are here" even mean.

Evil foreigner billionaire sending a spy to seduce the oldest boy in the family still in Gotham to steal informations on WayneTech and after a party of dancing and talking, with innuendos bigger than his arms, the dude takes back the girl in his plaza room to be sure she's safe and fall asleep on the floor.

Meanwhile the spy doesn't know if she lost her talents of if Jason has a really strong mind.

If Jason was Batman from the start, first encounter with catwoman, take 1 :

"What arrre you going to do, arrrest me ?

- Yes.

- Wait, what ?"

Jason going to college and always being invited to girls night when they're going to bars or nightclubs because they have a 6'6 werewolf with them to dissuaded the other guys and they feel secure because they can't recall one time he tried something that made them uncomfortable, or just something in fact.

Never hit on a girl, loves litterature, takes great care of his body...Jason Todd is the only gothamite unaware he's a gay icone.

#batman #batfamily #batfam #jason todd #batman headcanon #red hood #catwoman #selina kyle #asexual jason todd #ace Jason Todd #poison ivy #koriand'r #starfire #power girl #ace #asexual #asexuality #dc comics

[incorrectbatfam]

Vegetable-growing contest where Ivy gets 2nd place to Alfred

#pamela isley #poison ivy #alfred pennyworth #batman #batfamily #batfam #batman family #gotham rogues #gotham city sirens #dc villains #dc comics #headcanon #batposting #shitpost

[nightwonder7]

"Welp, wouldn't wanna be him."

#identity v #idv #identity v fanart #idv fanart #identity v the shadow #idv the shadow #identity v ivy #idv ivy #ivy #identity v fool's gold #idv fool's gold #norton campbell #comic #night's art #I actually headcanon that fg doesn't need to eat or drink #but it was just too fitting to have him hold a beverage here for some reason hgfdhgfd

[violent138]

Bruce's kids have definitely done homework on stakeouts and:

Robin: "I brought along this diagram of a leaf I'm supposed to make, and I was just wondering if you had any time to help me?"

Poison Ivy: "What are you talking about?"

Robin, pouting: "It's due tomorrow and I know I'm going to be here all night dealing with this. And I used to think botany was kind of boring, but it's kind of starting to grow on me--"

Ivy, reluctantly swayed: "Ugh, fine. So this first layer is the cuticle, followed by the epidermis--"

#textpost #batposting #poison ivy #batfamily #dc robin #batman #dc comics #batfam headcanons

[inkluvs]

finnick laying a multiple towels down for u bc he knows that u hate sand getting on u but he can’t help when he sees u laying on ur stomach when he comes back from a swim he just has to kiss u <3 and u don’t mind the salty taste just this time <3 he’s like a overly excited puppy the way he runs to the water to do laps and comes back to check if u saw him do a flip or something <3

#first finnick hc of 2023 #finnick odair #finnick odair imagine #finnick odair headcanons #ivy is writing ! #thgluvs #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair fluff #finnick #finnick x reader #thg finnick #finnick odair (ivy’s version)

[livlaughloveluke]

luke castellan who leaves you, his girlfriend, behind at camp after joining kronos. no matter how hard you pleaded to join him, or for him to stay, he reluctantly ignored you and convinced himself it was for the better. he convinces himself that you’ll thrive without him, that you’ll move on in a week tops.

but instead you’re left to mourn the loss of your love. while he might not have been dead, the boy you once knew was gone, and you would have to live on without him.

set to the song “ivy” by frank ocean

“i broke your heart last week, you’ll probably feel better by the weekend.”

#luke castella x you #luke castellan #luke castellan angst #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan headcanons #frank ocean #ivy #pjo series

[blakeswritingimagines]

Who fell first and who fell harder

Joker: You fell first and harder

Harley Quinn: She fell first and harder

Catwoman: She fell first and harder

Riddler: He fell first but you fell harder

Penguin: He fell first and harder

Scarecrow: You fell first but he fell harder

Deathstroke: You fell first and harder

Bane: He fell first but you fell harder

Mr Freeze: He fell first and harder

Two-Face: He fell first but you fell harder

Poison Ivy: You fell first but she fell harder

Killer Croc: You fell first and harder

#joker x reader #harley quinn x reader #catwoman x reader #riddler x reader #penguin x reader #scarecrow x reader #deathstroke x reader #bane x reader #mr freeze x reader #two face x reader #poison ivy x reader #killer croc x reader #dc #dc hcs #dc headcanon

[ivystoryweaver]

im so interested in what u think the moon boys would be like as dads???

Ohhhhh, this is gonna hurt my heart. In a good way. I have a lot of feelings about Moon Dads and I've not yet written fics about it so yeah...

I'm gonna jump right in with Marc.

I think if Marc had a child, he would be all in: attentive, tender, affectionate.

I don't actually believe Marc would be afraid of parenting. I know that can be a popular hc/fic plot and I totally understand why, and love reading those.

But I think Marc would be one of those people that would try to do the opposite of what was done to him. Example: his parents were married and that went well... (sarcasm)

Yet Marc got married. He and Layla were together for years and, according to her, had "adventures together", meaning they worked as a (likely successful) team. Marc bailed on Layla once his mom passed and he could no longer control or hide his disassociations (plus Khonshu's threats for Layla to be his next avatar).

Point being: Marc did get married and seemed pretty successful at it, for the most part.

Marc is in charge of bath time. This includes little toy boats, fish that squirt water, bubbles. He's going to wash their hair, or whatever hair needs they have, depending on race and hair types. If it is a hair type he isn't as familiar with, he is going to be talking to his partner, looking up vids, whatever it takes. Touch is going to be so important to him. He is the dad who will know how to do french braids or styles for textured hair.

He's never going to react in anger. If he is angry, he's going to hand the reins to Steven or sometimes Jake (if he is able, it's obviously not a parlor trick), or he will just say to his little one, "Daddy is going to take a time out. I'll be back in a minute and we can have a talk." The idea of putting himself in time out is so endearing to his child that they end up calming from whatever misbehavior they were attempting, wanting to join him in the corner for time out, touching a plushie or reading a book in his lap.

They learn very young that their father's expressions can be stern but his hands are safe. They will not want to disappoint him.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Steven can converse naturally with children, this we see in the first episode. Steven's open, engaging nature is great for children. His own childlike wonder will shine in fatherhood. He was also able to quickly redirect the behavior of the girl who was littering at the museum. So a spunky child in a doctor's office waiting room will be easily wrangled by a distracting toy, quick game or wonderful story.

Steven is your go-to guy for bedtime stories. With a young child, Steven will share how wondrous the world around them is. He'll always have a anecdote or a fun fact for tweens or teens.

He will offer choices. "Do you want to put on 'jammies now or after a story?" "Do you want to help Dad set the table or feed the cat?" Steven has lacked agency in his life, so he is going to give it to his child. He will teach them to speak up for their needs.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Jake is going to be such a little shit as a dad. I'm sorry but there is no nicer way to say it lol. Jake's used to operating in the background and he's a night owl. He's the fun dad. He's the "don't tell mom" dad (or don't tell dad, dad). Kid wants stay up 15 extra minutes? It's Jake that's gonna sneak them some of the popcorn he popped after they were supposed to be asleep. As a partner, you'd find your little one on Jake's knee in the most comfy chair, watching the Yankees play baseball.

You give them The Look™ and they know they are busted. They exchange guilty glances and then Jake starts repeating words in Spanish. Baseball, Popcorn, very good! If you are already all Spanish speakers then Jake pretends to be practicing in both Spanish and English.

Either way, he and his little twin, with their adorable curls, give you shit eating grins.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Moon Knight Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Askbox

#ivy replies #inbox #asks #✧ ˚ · . answered #nonniekins #moon knight #steven grant #marc spector #jake lockley #marc spector headcanons #steven grant headcanons #jake lockley headcanons #moon knight headcanons #moon boys #moon knight system #moon dads

[itsdappleagain]

why is carmen wearing that

click for better quality!

thank you @jackie-shitposts for sending me the post that inspired this. and both you and @emily-prentits for helping me see the light of making six different trauma shirts <3

more versions under the cut because i couldnt pick just one traumatic moment. tell me which one is your favorite

#carmen sandiego #carmen sandiego 2019 #carmen sandiego fanart #my art #i also if you couldnt tell applied my buff/scarred/freckles carmen headcanons #the polycule decided that zack ivy and player as a collective got her the shirts for the holidays #shadowsan got her something normal like a mug #and was appropriately horrified #ill add the silly tags for fun #carmen sandeigo #carmen sandeigo 2019

[yuckarmin]

HOW HE SOUNDS | armin arlert nsfw audio ˖ ࣪ . 𖧧 ࿐

˚ . ₊˚⊹ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!! armin x fem!reader, nsfw headcanon, whimpering, nsfw audio [ please use headphones cuties! ] — mdni

ARMIN is so vocal oh my gosh— i think he just like cannot keep it in cause he feels so good.

his moans are just barely moans and are basically whimpers … “a-ahh fuck!”

and when he has his face burried in your neck ?!?! oh my god he’s letting out the cutest moans ever while saying the nastiest, freakiest shit ever. i believe in ‘innocent’ freak armin till i die ☝🏾☝🏾

“fuckkk…yeah? here?” in the whiniest voice you can possibly imagine.

source.

#ivy’s works ૮ ♡ ੭ #armin x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #armin x reader smut #armin arlert #armin arlert x reader #armin aot #snk reader #aot x reader #armin arlert x reader smut #snk headcanons #armin x reader headcanons #aot headcanons

[aerowolf]

the mercs realize it's your bday and you didn't tell anyone because your family doesn't do birthdays

I’m so sorry this is a mess between British and American english. I have an American parent and a Canadian one so it messed me up lolll

if didn't include a Merc you wanted, feel free to request and I'll try and add them :]

includes: Miss Pauling & offense classes

cute platonic, gn!reader

warnings: n/a, this is basically all fluff

You'd rather not make a big deal of it being your birthday, even though it is you were taught that birthdays aren't a big deal and your family never really did them.

You kind of wish someone would care but you feel guilty about that so you choose not to tell anyone about it

The only one of these who actually knows it's your birthday is Miss Pauling, who’s seen your personnel files

Miss Pauling

She knows it's your birthday, and instead of ignoring it she decides to at least discreetly make it a good day for you

She arrives on base for a routine inspection, clipboard in hand, but once she's done with the main thing, instead of leaving, she comes to your room

"I saw that it's your birthday today. I don't know if you celebrate, or anything, but, uh, I thought you'd like a gift. Maybe."

She hands you a box, inside are some candy bars and a plush of a bear

"I know it's not exactly the nicest thing, and I know it's kinda... stereotypical... but, y'know, I thought you'd like something. So, happy birthday. From me.” She’s really shy about it, you get the feeling she didn’t--probably still doesn’t--really get to celebrate birthdays either. 

She offers you a ride on her motorbike, something nice, on the open road--away from this base for a little while. You accept, taking a seat behind her, enjoying the open air--though it is pretty hot out. You guys talk, just enjoying the time.

She smiles at you as you get back. “Happy birthday. You deserve it.”

You thank her and even give her a hug. It’s nice that you got this for once. 

Scout

He has no idea whatsoever that it’s your birthday. He’s interacting with you like usual, teasing you, just hanging out. You’re happy as you talk that day; he’s always good at making you laugh and smile.

At some point he notices that you’re a little down, as much as you may try to hide it, he can tell. You’re his friend, and even though he might act like he doesn’t care sometimes, you know he does. A lot.

You tell yourself you don’t want anything on your birthday, that it’s easier if no one knows, but secretly, you do.

“Hey, what’s up? C’mon, ya know I can tell when something’s wrong.” 

You tell him it’s nothing. 

“You sure? Really? You’re kinda… I dunno, sadder than usual.” After he asks a few times, you finally come out and tell him. You don’t say much. Just “It’s my birthday.”

“No kiddin’? Well, why didn’t ya tell me?” He comes off pretty strong. You feel kind of apologetic for mentioning it, and look away from him. “Aw, hey. Y’know what--it don’t matter. I’m gonna throw you a party like you ain’t never seen, believe me.”

You try to tell him you don’t want a party--well, you do. Maybe. No you don’t. Well, sure. But not a big one. He’s really sweet and enthusiastic about it. “Someone like you deserves a big birthday--but if you don’t want it, dat’s okay. Ya know, we could just hang out, or somethin’. You n’ me, yeah?” 

You tell him you’d like that a lot. You both find a quiet spot in the base where you can just talk. He messes around, too, and pops in a Tom Jones record. 

He’s a little shy, a little embarrassed, but he even sings happy birthday to you. He just seems glad no one can hear him. He doesn’t have a gift handy for you, but he ends up scribbling you a quick doodle of him telling you happy birthday. It’s misspelt, but the drawing is cute, and you keep it. “I hope ya had a good day. I’m just sorry I didn’t know sooner.” You tell him that it wasn’t his fault, how could he have known? 

After all is done, he gives you an awkward hug. You smile and return it.

Soldier

He’s a little crazy so he’s just hanging around base, today he had the idea to strip and cover himself in honey, so everyone has had to convince him to please not do that, and now he’s just moping around, muttering about how anti patriotic this all is.

You sit next to him and mope as well. Unlike him, no one knows the reason you’re moping. To anyone else’s point of view, you’re just comforting him--for whatever weird reason. But he sees that you’re just as sad as him.

“What’s wrong, maggot? Is there someone who needs to see my fists meet their face?”

You tell him no, no one did anything. You’re a little intimidated by him, and you don’t see much reason to tell him anyways. But it’s nice sitting with a friend. 

“If it’s not a person, then… it must be an object! Give it to me and I will destroy it immediately.” He’s being as sweet as he can, you smile and shake your head.

You sit there for a bit, smiling as you watch the other mercs come and go. Today isn’t a bad day, just a little sad. Later, you plan to find some kind of sweet treat to eat alone.

Soldier stands up, at attention, and points at you. “MAGGOT, AS YOUR SUPERIOR AND SENIOR, I ORDER YOU TO TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG!”

With a sad smile and a chuckle you finally tell him.

“Your birthday?” Soldier seems genuinely surprised. He places a hand on his chin and thinks. “We cannot go without celebrating! This is momentous!”

Although you try to protest, he turns to the base, stating to every other merc, “LISTEN UP! IT IS Y/N’S BIRTHDAY AND WE WILL CELEBRATE!” 

He makes it his personal mission to decorate for a party that very evening, even gets a cake and everything. He makes every other merc sing happy birthday with him. Maybe this isn’t so bad.

You give him a big hug, and he is surprised at first, but proceeds to give a gentle laugh and hug back.

Pyro

You see Pyro colouring with crayons and coloured pencils on their break, and you sit by them. You don’t really understand what they’re saying a lot of the time, but you enjoy hanging out with them. It’s a long period of silence before you join them in colouring. Regardless of your artistic skills, they’re impressed and encourage you, and are very happy when you show them what you’ve been working on. 

After a little while you get kind of bored and sad. You’ve tried to enjoy this day but it’s another bittersweet birthday. You’re happy to hang out with Pyro though, even though they don’t know what day it is.

Pyro notices that you’ve stopped colouring with them, and that you’re looking at the ground instead, messing with the cracks in the floor.

“Huddah hrmmf mmmrph?” You don’t understand what they’re saying exactly, but you smile at them. They seem to be asking what’s wrong, why you stopped, why you seem so sad.

You hesitate for a moment before finally confessing. They seem to mostly understand what you mean, and they lean back, thinking. 

After a few seconds, they stand up and help pull you off the floor. They point to their room, and you follow them. It’s an odd combination of scorch marks, colourful drawings, weapons, and art supplies. They lead you to a wardrobe and pull out a box. 

Surprisingly, you can see that it's fully wrapped. Did they somehow know it was your birthday? Do they keep these gifts on hand for the mercs?

You won’t get an answer, but they excitedly push it out and offer it to you. “Huddah hmmph!” They sound almost like they are smiling behind the mask. You take the box and open it. It’s got crayons, pencils, and… wow, that’s a drawing of you and them.

You smile, almost ready to tear up, and thank them. You give them a hug, and you notice that they’re hugging you back even harder. Maybe they don’t really understand, but this is sweet.

#Merc x reader #tf2 x reader #platonic tf2 x reader #platonic x reader #pyro x reader #platonic pyro x reader #scout x reader #platonic scout x reader #Soldier x reader #platonic soldier x reader #miss Pauling x reader #Pauling x reader #platonic Pauling x reader #team fortress 2 #tf2 #tf2 hcs #tf2 headcanons #ivy speaks #ivy writes tf2 #tf2 fluff #fluff headcanons #my writing

[bruciemilf]

The Justice League being mildly disturbed, bewildered, and eerily...Impressed by Bruce's relationship with his rogues.

They've seen him and Harley get in a fist fight over the last Bat Burger fry.

With Harley trying to fix her now ruined pigtails and munching on her garlic glazed treat while Batman sipped the milkshake, completely ignoring the gush of blood dripping down his chin.

"... Do you want the Bat-Toy?"

"...Yeah."

Bruce can go from fighting Ivy one second, to helping her beat Hal's ass for littering in the middle of a battle.

He talks about Penguin like he's a problematic relative you have an annoying affection for. He pretends to be scared of Scarecrow's Fear Toxin to make him feel better about it not working on him.

He and Selina call eachother ' babe' and gossip while trying to put the other in the hospital.And don't get him started on Mr. Freeze. He WILL cry.

It's a very unusual relationship. They know for a fact none of them have lunches with THEIR villains.

" But I don't get it? I mean, Bats won't kill YOU, but...YOU can kill HIM."

" For what? So the police can kill us easier? Nice try."

Clark, panicked, calls the batkids when Bruce gets kidnapped. They don't know by WHO, which is the only reason they even bothered showing up. When they find out its HARVEY?

They all groan. Long and whiny. " Come on!"

" You made me abandon my Buzzfeed Unsolved marathon for this?"

Dick, peach face mask still drying, sighs, " I'm sorry, - this? Is probably the best thing that happened all week. Maybe month! Why would we be worried? He'll get 4 meals a day, 8 hours of sleep, -"

" Or two..."

" SHUT UP, STEPH! But anyway, Bruce is probably in his huge, black feathered night gown, getting his feet rubbed with extra expensive olive oil while eating blueberry yoghurt."

" With chocolate sprinkles!"

" Yes, Thank You, Tim. Clark, in the future, be worried if he DOESN’T get kidnapped. He'll be back in like, two weeks. Three, if he's feeling clingy. "

" But I don't understand? Bruce hangs out with...Criminals?"

" I'm sorry, " Dick gestures to the whole flock of them, " Where do you think we came from?"

#bruce wayne #batman #dc #dc comics #clark kent #harley quinn #pamela ivy #poison ivy #harvey dent #selina kyle #batfam #the justice league #headcanons #writing

[incorrectbatfam]

Bet Poison Ivy's plant tutorials don't work very well for people without plant powers. This is why Pamela Isley doesn't like being reminded of her OLD tutorials. She had issues.

Ivy, in a video: First, give it a gentle spritz of water.

Blaise: *sprays the plant*

Ivy: Then wave your hands and ask it to grow.

Blaise: Oh come on!

#see previous posts #pamela isley #poison ivy #blaise ashwin #original character #gotham gooners #gotham city sirens #gotham rogues #batfamily #batfam #batman #batman family #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc villains #dc comics #headcanon #crack