#'teenage nerd who was unpopular and bullied'

[not-poignant]

Why doesn't Sebastian remember the stuff he said to Alex when they were younger? Does he really not remember, or is Alex reading it wrong? Also thank you for the chapter!! I'm not going to tell you how many times I reread them all before the next one

Oooo yes I can answer this!

So, let's be real, a lot of teenagers say a lot of insulting shit to other people and frankly just say it and don't remember a lot of it. The brain-to-mouth filter of adolescents in general is not great (which is awesome for having all of that play out in online spaces). I don't know many adults who, when they think about the things they said as a teenager, don't experience some moments of 'oh I maybe shouldn't have said that' and that's just the crap they remember.

(Y'all know it gets long, right?)

This is also especially true if you're insulting someone that you feel justified insulting (like a school bully, someone you've mentally cancelled, someone you hate, someone who rubs you the wrong way, someone who has just said terrible stuff to you so you feel permitted to say terrible stuff to them). Like, in primary school and high school, it's not like your internal set of ethics is necessarily hugely well-defined, and even very well-behaved children can step into accidental or intentional bullying and verbal insults when they feel angry. It's not like we're known for mature emotional regulation of our own anger, especially if you go into places where emotional literacy isn't super high.

Also, with memory formation, it's just incredibly normal to forget a lot of this stuff. Normal and necessary to just growing as a person.

But there's an extra component with Sebastian and Alex, which is that Sebastian was saying a lot of stuff that everyone thought, to the point where I don't even think he considered that he was a lot worse than everyone else about it (which he was, he was horribly verbally abusive towards Alex, and imho, was the worse bully out of the two of them by a long-shot). It wouldn't occur to Sebastian as a kid to think that he was wrong, for example, in calling Alex stupid. Everyone thought it, including Alex.

And finally, a big part of this puzzle is - as we've seen in the story overall - Alex is quite stoic. He prefers not to let people notice he's felt hurt by their words, and in fact, is quite good at pretending that nothing is affecting him at all. He of course learned this from growing up in a domestically violent household where it was dangerous for him to show nearly any emotions at all, but as someone who could be mean to Sebastian, it also made Alex seem like he was never being affected by Sebastian's words. And in that scenario, Sebastian would have gotten angrier and angrier, and more and more determined to say something that finally hurt him, not realising that the very first thing he said hurt, and that he's just said another 15 things that also really hurt him.

So some of Sebastian's memories formed around 'Alex isn't affected by almost everything I say' - and you know, why would you remember that? Alex's memories are radically different, because everything Sebastian said cut him to pieces, but the way he behaved made it seem like they didn't. That's Alex's survival skill, and frankly, Sebastian still really struggles with it, and he's not in the habit of seeing past it. Even now, it sort of takes him a moment to realise - more and more - that this side of Alex who appears unaffected and starts giving these single-word answers is covering for someone who is extremely vulnerable and wounded beneath that.

When Alex says 'it's just words' to dismiss what Sebastian says, after Sebastian has seen him come over depressed, clean silently, and then go to leave, and realises that Alex is like profoundly affected by what Mayor Lewis said to him, he takes a moment to be like 'wait, if he's that affected by what Mayor Lewis said, and now he's telling me it's 'just words' then...it can't be 'just words' at all.'

A lot of this stuff is really hard for Sebastian to process because it goes against every kind of fundamental thing that he's thought about Alex all his life.

So yeah, Sebastian really doesn't remember, he doesn't think of himself as that much of a bully, and certainly not a bad one, and he's still sort of piecing all of this together. One of the reasons he's so reluctant to come to a 'realisation' about Alex is first and foremost - it means Sebastian has to see how ugly his own behaviours were, and that's something a lot of people don't want to see in themselves. So we have this contrasting narrative, as Alex the person who consistently is like 'I bullied you terribly and I deserve bad things' and Sebastian who consistently is like 'I was bullied terribly but I've grown as a person but I'm not going to forget how you treated me either.'

The reality is different. They both bullied each other. Sebastian was a lot more aggressive and insidious about it and also had friends who backed him up (leading to 3-against-1 scenarios all the time), because Alex seemed unaffected by anything Sebastian said. Alex doesn't deserve terrible things, Sebastian doesn't deserve terrible things, and they both have grown as people.

But Sebastian owes Alex some genuine apologies, and some real thought about the whole scenario, and Alex also needs to get better at talking about this stuff.

And y'know, that's why we're here, reading this fic. :D

#asks and answers #a stain that won't dissolve #thespectaclesofthor #sdv fic #sdv alex #sdv sebastian #sdv sebastian x alex #THANK YOU FOR ENABLING MY META ANON #i really think sebastian sort of starts down the road of realisation #he takes a few steps every time #but he's still early enough into this journey #that he can run back to his 'safe zones' when he needs to #because his realisation #will threaten his perception of himself and his identity as like #'teenage nerd who was unpopular and bullied' #versus #'teenager nerd who was *popular* and *also a bully*'

[theriverdalereviewer]

surely one of you has read nineteen minutes by jodi picoult... as usual I have THOUGHTS

#the lesson of this book has not aged well #now let me break it down quickly #but major tw if you ever consider reading nineteen minutes its a book with two teenage protagonists but it was written for a mature audience #the book deals with bullying gun violence and abuse and it does depict them quite graphically #so yeah I absolutely would not pick up this book if youre sensitive to that #but anyways the story is about a shooting that happens at a high school and then takes you back to the events that led up to it #as well as the aftermath #and I feel like the idea of Peter's has aged quite poorly #like the book was written in 2007 so the narrative that shooters are the bullied lonely kids who are getting revenge #was very popular in our society but in the year 2023 I think we are (very) slowly realizing that these kids weren’t unpopular nerds #majority of them are incels living in a country that makes it very easy for them to kill people with guns #and the book reallyyyyy misses this mark #like they portray Peter as this kid that was bullied for being sensitive and not a masculine tough guy like the rest of the boys #and its true boys who get bullied generally are bullied for not conforming to masculinity #BUTTT these boys aren’t the ones who go and kill people #its the ones who have deeply entrenched hatred for women and minorities and also happen to be able to use weapons #so yeah if the text was just about a kid who was being bullied and how traumatizing that is then yeah I think it would’ve nailed it #butttt when you try to convince us that this is the profile of a shooter you start to lose #also not nearly enough about gun control was discussed #like the book sends the message that if we’re all nice to each other bad things won’t happen ummmm yeah #but also even if we were all mean to each other we could minimize the amount of casualties by have stricter access to guns #like what people in other countries don’t have mean kids this is a uniquely american problem #anyways these are my grievances

[deathinjune6]

unpopular opinions on marauders!

peter and sirius were never equals. it was always james and sirius, then remus, and lastly peter.

peter pettigrew is a lazily written character, and is often overlooked by the fandom. he is basically the reason why the whole harry potter story started yet people minimize his character to a coward. although i understand why he is oversimplified in the books, because they are mainly written for children who don't really get the multifaceted complexions of morally grey characters; i believe that we as the fandom should dive more deeply in his motives.

regulus is interesting cause rowling didn't have the chance to ruin his character.

i hate seeing sirius portrayed as a dumb womanizer, or reduced to his sexuality/romantic relationships only. it takes guts to stand up against your fucked up family and run away from them as a teen. he has so many interesting aspects to his personality and people usually choose to ignore it.

i love james and lily together but still lily is kinda wrong for marrying her literal best friends' bully.

a lot of us would be bullied by the marauders for being nerds.

portraying people as saints is boring. same goes for evil.

this is not a justification, but i understand why wormtail choose to be a traitor. a lot of us would too, for survival mainly.

the most powerful bond in the entire series is the one between sirius and james. then comes lily and severus.

we should have more diverse forms of art about the marauders

slowburn fanfics are the best ones.

more roleplays please!!!

i wish there were more post hogwarts fanfics!!

the youtube series "great wizarding war" is amazing. so is the black sisters movie. and that one about neville and his parents.

james potter was an asshole. doesn't necessarily mean he was evil. he was an asshole and a teenager, i feel like most fanfic portray him poorly.

do we ever see hagrid in marauders fanfiction?

#harry potter #the marauders #hogwarts #hp fandom #marauders headcanon #marauders #sirius black #james potter #remus lupin #marauders era #regulus black #wolfstar #remus x sirius #hp marauders #peter pettigrew #lily evans #lily potter #harrypotter #prisoner of azkaban #gryffindor #gryfferin #slytherin #slytherpride #fanfic #fanfiction #all the young dudes #atyd marauders #atyd remus #atyd fandom #atyd

[justsomerandomfanfic]

Beautiful - Billy Hargrove X Female (Henderson) Reader

Title: Beautiful

Billy Hargrove X Female (Henderson) Reader

Additional Characters: School peers

| Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 |

WC: 1,108

Warnings: Mention of bullying, mention of depression, Reader being an outcast, crying, and slight angst

School at Hawkins High School was interesting to say the least. It was a typical school, annoying teenagers, tons of work, etc. You had gone through three years of it though, so it didn’t seem to bother you that much anymore. Unlike most of the people in Hawkins High, you weren’t popular. No one would really talk to you, only if they had to. You didn't mind. You were used to being an outcast. Besides, you had better things to do than solicit with your peers.

The one person that did talk to you though, besides your younger brother and his friends, was Billy. Billy Hargrove. He was the new ‘King’ of Hawkins High School. He came from California, and into the hearts of the girls of Hawkins. They fawned over him, half of them praying to be near him, even for just one night. But, some stayed on the sidelines, glaring at other girls who fawned over him. Wanting to be with him just as bad. He was the typical bad-boy, doing typical bad-boy things.

But, to everyone else but you, Billy seemed like a huge jerk. He was a jerk, to some, but not to you. He seemed to see right through your facade and knew what you were feeling, which for you, was dangerous. It confused you. Why would someone like him, speak to someone like you, or even look your way? You were living in a different world than him, stereotypically, you and Billy were in two different worlds. Popular and unpopular.

You were a definite nerd, the pins on your backpack said so. You looked different from the other teenage girls, wore different things, and spoke differently. You knew you were and you didn’t care about the odd stares or the strange rumors. 

Why Billy seemed to forget those other girls and go straight to you every day, totally dumbfounded you. You weren't like the girls he used to hang out with. What did you say or do to achieve his undying attention? It was obvious that he was very attractive, you couldn’t lie, you did have a small crush on the Californian teen, but you kept that hidden. Like most things.

You’d admit, you did enjoy it when he’d come over. The friendly banter, and even the cheesy pick-up lines. He seemed to make you laugh at times when you felt like you couldn’t. You didn’t understand how people called him mean and a jerk, when he was honestly nice, and charming. You didn’t know if it was all a ruse. Using you in some sick way, as a joke, dare, or something. Maybe Tommy and Carol put him up to this. But, the way he looked at you, spoke to you. It didn’t seem like he was hiding any ill intentions. You thought that maybe this was your feelings getting in the way, or maybe Billy was just like you, holding up a facade.

The day was long and tiring, causing your energy to drain considerably. You were late to your first class since you forgot your homework and had to drive all the way back home to get it. You were then bombarded by some popular girls, who berated you with questions and taunts, leaving you with hardly any time to eat your lunch. (They began to bother you ever since they noticed Billy hung around you more.) 

Even in your sour mood, it didn't seem to stop Billy Hargove’s many attempts to get you to agree to go on a date with him. Or stop him from going home after school at the normal time, eityour it seemed. Closing your locker, finally out of detention, you sighed when you found Billy leaning against the locker beside yours, waiting for you. 

“Good morning, Beautiful.” Billy greeted with his usual charming smile.

“What do you want, Billy? Shouldn’t you be home by now? It's four o’clock…” You mumbled, throwing your bag over your shoulder.

“I just wanted to walk you to your car.” Billy spoke, hands up in defense.

You nodded, sighing again, “You waited for me when I got out of detention?” You asked, trying to tone down your annoyed and ‘over-it’ tone.

“Yeah, can’t break tradition now, can we?” Billy teased, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as you walked through the hall and out the school door to the student's parking lot. 

Billy looked down at you, he noticed something must have been wrong. Usually, you would toss his arm away, glaring at him, jokingly punching his arm. But, you didn’t and this concerned Billy. At your car, you pulled out your keys from your bag, unlocked your car door, and opened it. But before you could even get in, Billy shut the door. Turning to look up at Billy, you saw his small smirk, you sighed and shook your head.

“Billy, please not today. I’m not in the mood.” Voice soft and in pain from the rough day.

Billy knew the tone of that voice well.

He pinned you to the car’s door, hands resting on the hood of the car, locking you in. Billy’s hardened gaze stared you down, trying to figure out what was wrong. Analyzing your features for any change. Yes, you were normally depressed. But, when Billy was around he could break your walls down. What made you put them back up? More importantly, who made you put them back up? Was it someone? Or, was it just the detention? So many questions were running through his head as he stared down at you.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, voice low.

You glanced at him before crossing your arms. Another wall. And, he noticed.

“Nothing. I’m fine. Just annoyed. Can I please go now? I have homework.” You spoke, voice growing more soft, but growing more impatient.

Billy watched you for a second, seeing as your eyes began to tear up and you shrunk in on yourself. He shouldn’t let this go, but he was going to have to. Sighing, Billy drops his arms. Standing straight up, he stuffed his hands into his jean pockets.

“Fine. You’ll tell me sooner or later.” He sighed, giving up and looking off.

“I’m sorry, I’ll call you later… Okay? I am just going through something right now.” You spoke up, looking up at Billy, who just nodded.

“Don’t apologize, Beautiful. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He spoke, stepping back.

You were about to speak, but your words died on your tongue. You wanted to tell Billy, but you just couldn’t. Only when you drove off, did he look back at your car, as you drove out of the parking lot.

______________________________________________________

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist.

100 follower celebration

#billy hargrove #cute #fluff #slight angst #billy hargrove x female reader #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove imagines #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove fic

[kaimaciel]

Kai now u got me thinking about teen engport and I'm feeling all fuzzy imagining those two like those outcast boys, with Arthur as this disheveled forest gremlin that is loud and crash. And little Afonso who's a little prettier than him but is still a weird boy who, unlike his brother, is quiet and rather read, fish or practice sword fighting and all he talks about is navigation. And yet they're the best of friends who like to trash talk Francis and bully Antonio and each other's first crush.

And both thinking "he's so cool I can't believe he's marrying me!". Also those two nerds figuring out how to kiss for the first time aaaaaaaa 🙈💕💕

Awwww 😭🥰 the cuteness overload!!!

The little forest gremlin and the little sea monster, both a little weird and outcasts, unpopular with their families, finding solace in each other.

They'd be like "Yeah, let's marry each other! The others suck donkey ass! 😝"

Also I have a little hc that Arthur was the one who gave Afonso his first hair ribbon, before Afonso just let his hair loose.

And they stare at the couples kissing and being either super romantic or super dull and formal, and they want to kiss, they're married after all, why shouldn't they kiss! And they just go for it and it's messy, they don't know where to put their hands, their noses clash, one uses too much tongue, the other doesn't open his mouth enough... it's a teenage mess. But it was their beautiful mess ❤️

#hetalia #aph portugal #hws portugal #aph england #hws england #engport #hetalia axis powers #hetalia world stars #arthur kirkland

[violetnerves]

Bully: Battle Royale, Chapter 1 -

Nothing will ever be the same again.

So I finally got this done, been struggling with feeling inspired to write for a while since my dog fell sick and couldn't walk without help anymore. We were forced to put her to sleep yesterday, and I only just got the inspiration to finish this a few hours ago.

It's a shame, she was a good dog, but all good things come to an end. I feel like I'm taking it rather well, but i'm also the type of person to have the grief hit later on rather than immediately.

It seems rather gruesome to write a fic like this considering all that, but I also feel like it kind of helps... in a weird way.

Anyway, Content warning for the following, I'll also put some of it in the tags too:

Death of a Major canon character.

Blood, like, a lot of it.

Graphic descriptions of injuries/wounds (Might be more applicable in future chapters, not so much here.)

Some foul language.

Honestly, if the deaths of teenagers/children is something that you have a difficult time reading about, you'll want to avoid this fic.

Word count: 2657 (It's short, but I consciously wanted to avoid what happened with the other fic where I had to split chapter 1 into two parts. Future chapters will be longer.)

Like my other fic, I'll also be posting this on Ao3.

Jimmy hated Mondays.

No, really. He did. There was just this suffocating atmosphere of suckage that, well, sucked any and all kind of positive feeling that you could get throughout the day. Besides, what good thing ever happened on a Monday? Exactly! Absolutely nothing!

Sunday was second to it as far as terrible days went, but that was only because the next day after that one was Monday.

Sure, it wasn't an unpopular opinion, but saying it out loud was dumb. It was like saying the sky was blue or that water was wet. The only appropriate response, in Jimmy's opinion at least, for saying you didn't like Mondays was the following:

*"Well, obviously no one likes Mondays **moron**. Who does?"*

...

Why did that sound exactly like something Gary would say?

Why would he even think about that *snake*?

He shook his head, trying to force his thought process onto something else.

This wasn't an ordinary, typical Monday at school, no, of course it wasn't. The entire student body of Bullworth Academy were shoved onto two garbage heaps of buses - Aside from the Preps, who got their own, new and fancy private bus - both of which might as well have been 20 miles away from breaking down and stranding them all in the middle of nowhere.

Jimmy sighed and leaned his head on the bus window as his classmates wreaked havoc all around him. Trent and Wade were throwing Bucky's glasses back and forth to each other across the left section bus seats while Bucky himself tried - and failed - to catch them. Johnny and Lola were - not so quietly - making out with each other in the other seat in the aisle next to him, and the rest of the Greasers were busy yelling at some passing drivers about how shit their cars looked. Several of the Jocks were tossing a mini toy football all around the bus, occasionally - most likely purposefully - hitting one of the nerds with it. The Nerds didn't have much of a way of defending themselves since they weren't allowed to bring any of their gadgets along.

Jimmy was left without a lot of the stuff he'd collected as well, having decided to just leave it all back in his dorm room. It's not like anybody could mess with anything there. The whole school was allowed to go on the field trip, regardless of grades. He'd thought that was a little odd, but he figured it was because the trip was meant to be educational rather than actually fun.

He wasn't sure what the Preps were up to. Most likely, they were all enjoying the experience of having their own bus to their inbred, spoiled rotten selves.

"You boys! Cut that out! You're old enough to know better than to throw things at people!" Mr. Galloway could be heard yelling from up front, his tone of voice sounding more irritated and tired than usual. The Jocks must've noticed his irritable tone as well, or they might've cooperated out of respect for one of the few nice teachers at the Academy, because after that, the toy hadn't been thrown around anymore.

Where Jimmy was seated, he was able to make out some irritated grumbles from Galloway, muttering about needing another drink, and Ms. Philips coaxed him off of the idea.

Galloway was clearly having a pretty bad hangover. This caused Jimmy to feel a bitter disappointment in the man, something that he was unfortunately used to feeling when it came to the adults in his life. He was miffed that Galloway was still drinking despite everything the boy had been doing to get him to stop. But he guessed there was only so much a kid like him could do. It was saddening that one of the few teachers who actually gave a damn about his students acted like a mean and irritable drunkard half of the time.

At least Ms. Philips was along for the trip as well, sitting right next to Galloway. She'd be an extra pair of eyes to make sure the English teacher didn't try and sneak a drink during the trip.

"Hey Jimmy?" Pete Kowalski said, concern in his tone. As Jimmy's friend, maybe the only real friend he had so far that hadn't been made by brute force, he sat next to Jimmy on the bus. Jimmy wasn't sure if he liked sharing a seat all that much, but he supposed it being Pete was better than anybody else.

Jimmy lifted his head up slightly from the window, looking over at his slightly younger friend.

"Yeah, Pete?" Jimmy said, slightly grumbling the first part of the sentence out.

"Are you ok? I dunno, you just seem kind of distracted by something."

Jimmy shrugged, leaning away fully from the window and sitting up in his seat. At first, Jimmy wanted to stay quiet and avoid answering, but he felt that Pete would think he was ignoring him. Which... well, that's pretty much what he would be doing.

"It's nothing, just..."

Jimmy knew he shouldn't look back at part of the source of his bad mood, but...

Well, there was something bothering him. Ok, not something, *someone*.

Jimmy turned in his seat to glare at the occupant of the last bus seat at the back of the bus. There, Gary Smith sat alone. His gaze faced the window, watching the scenery as it passed by and ignoring the shenanigans of the rest of their group.

It was stupid, Jimmy had hardly known Gary for barely a month, and they'd been enemies for longer than they'd been friends. Yet... aside from the fact that it was a Monday, as well as the dumb crap the other students were doing around him... Gary's betrayal still nagged and scratched at him the most.

Mainly from how spontaneous and, frankly, stupid it was. Gary seemed to pride himself on his intelligence and how he always thought ahead compared to the "morons" around him. But... he was by himself. The only other kid that actually sat alone was Russell, who was forced to since his size caused him to take up the entire bus seat. In Gary's case, it was because nobody in Bullworth actually liked him enough to sit by him. How could he even think he could become king of the school when no one even liked him?

"It's Gary, isn't it? He's still bugging you."

Jimmy turned to Pete, who seemed to lean back at his intense gaze.

"What! No, I don't care about that chump! Screw him!" Jimmy replied, following it up with a scoff, "Though i'm sure Gary *wishes* I cared that much about him. You remember how offended he got when I called him *boring*?"

Pete seemed to relax a bit more.

"Ha, yeah. I actually thought he was gonna hit you right after that. I'm surprised he didn't, then again, Gary's always been kind of hesitant about getting into an actual fight."

"Yeah, cause he's a coward. If he wasn't such an asskisser to Crabblesnitch, I'd beat the crap out of him."

Bucky's glasses flew just above Jimmy's head, and he snatched them out of the air. Wade, who'd been the one to toss them, yelled out:

"Hey Hopkins! Toss those to Trent!"

Jimmy frowned, turning around with his knees on his seat and his arms laid on the back to face Wade. He got a side eye from Constantinos, who sat right behind him, but he didn't care much. It's not like his respect mattered much. The kid was no better than Gary, except he happened to be a lot less bold about insulting people.

"Will you dumbasses cut it out! What'd I say about picking on the nerds? Do you want me to kick your ass *again*?"

Wade frowned, but rather than actually do anything, he sat back in his seat. Trent flipped Jimmy off but got back in his seat just as quickly as Wade did.

Jimmy smirked and looked over to Bucky.

"Here, catch."

From 3 seats away, Jimmy tossed Bucky's glasses back to him. Rather than actually catch them, though, the glasses slipped from Bucky's hands and fell to the ground, cracking the left lense right in the middle.

Jimmy noticed but didn't much care, sitting right back in his seat.

"I swear, some people just never learn."

Pete nodded, yawning. Jimmy thought that was kind of odd. Did he not get enough sleep last night? Then again, he did have Gary for a roommate, Jimmy wouldn't be surprised if that weird mumbling Gary had kept him up late.

"Yeah... The kids around her are... So stubborn... man, I'm kinda tired..." Pete mumbled, already appearing half asleep. He looked like he was struggling to even sit up. "W-What about you?"

Jimmy was about to say he wasn't until he himself had yawned before he could. Suddenly, it seemed he was also on the verge of dozing off. This didn't seem right, Jimmy knew he'd gotten plenty of sleep last night. He'd clocked out at 7:30, right after a whole day of running around and doing errands for some extra spending money.

"Yeah... It's weird, I was gonna say no, but for some reason, I'm just feeling like I could pass out at any second... Weird... Huh?" Jimmy looked over to Pete, finding the latter boy passed out... along with Lola and Johnny, who were also passed out in their seat in the next aisle.

Jimmy had a bad feeling bubbling inside him, and despite being on the verge of passing out, he grabbed the back of his seat and struggled to lift himself up to get a look at the rest of the bus.

Every single student, as well as Mr. Galloway and Ms. Philips were in a deep sleep in their seats. He glanced over to Gary, who had his fingers gripping the window, as if he'd been trying to open it before succumbing to whatever had caused everybody else to pass out.

*'What the... Is there some kind of gas leak in the air? What's going on here?'*

Jimmy attempted to get out of his seat to reach the aisle, but his drowsiness won out. He fell, barely catching himself with his arms before even those had failed him. On the ground, he tried to get up again, but his eyelids grew heavier and heavier until he couldn't keep them up anymore.

*'What...'*

The thought barely registered in his head before he lost consciousness.

***

*Jimmy sat alone on a park bench.*

*He wasn't sure what he was doing there, but he had a feeling it didn't actually mean all that much. He was dreaming after all, and as far as he understood it, dreams and nightmares were just your brain throwing out stuff from your memories and smashing them together in your head to sort things out. At least that's what a therapist had told him once, in the one time he went.*

*He'd only gone once because mom had only really paid for one session. CPS had only really required her to take him one time, so that's the only time he'd ever seen a therapist.*

*Suddenly, he wasn't alone, and he turned to find his father sitting with him.*

*Well, not his dad, more like his dad's tattooed body from the shoulders down that Jimmy had only seen from a photo of him as a baby. From the neck up, it was Mr. Galloway's head, which... was a weird sight to look at, given how his bio dad's muscular frame compared to the rather gaunt Galloway was mismatched in the most uncanny way.*

*Jimmy grimaced.*

*"Ew."*

*"Look, I'm trying to work with what I've got here. It's not my fault your mother's taste in men is terrible." The voice that came out of Jimmy's pseudo father figure belonged to the hobo who lived behind the bus. Man, surely he could've had more to work with than that?*

*"Fine, but do you take constructive criticism?"*

*"Sure."*

*"You did a bad job."*

*"Aw, c'mon."*

*Jimmy frowned.*

*"What's up with all this, by the way? Why are you here? Or is asking that question just pointless?"*

*Jimmy's pseudo dad sighed, scratching his head.*

*"Who knows? I guess your brain felt like you needed a father figure at the moment to prepare you for what you might see once you wake up."*

*Jimmy leaned forward, rolling his eyes. So he wasn't even sure why he was here? Great.*

*"And why is that? I fell asleep on the school bus on the way for a friggin field trip to a museum. What could be so dangerous about that?"*

*Pseudo dad went quiet for a bit, sighing.*

*"I guess we'll figure that out soon enough. God help you James," as he called Jimmy "James" he briefly sounded like Galloway for a moment, and he began to disappear.*

*The dream began to break up, and as soon as Jimmy had arrived -*

He woke up.

Jimmy found himself sitting in a school desk, his head laying on the table. He lifted his head up and looked around. The rest of the class was in the room... as well as the townies? None of the townies were sat at a desk, instead the group were laying in a pile at the other side of the room. Mr. Galloway and Ms. Philips were nowhere to be found, something which gave Jimmy pause... as well as a terrible feeling to take over him.

He looked around the room, trying to get a sense of the area in case he could make a quick escape.

The room itself appeared to be an abandoned classroom, left to decay and be ravaged by God knows who. Some plants had grown in through the broken window panels at the right side of the classroom. The floor had visible holes in it, the stone broken either by disrepair or by anyone who explored the building.

"What the hell..." Jimmy muttered, turning his head as he heard someone mumbling. Just one row and two seats behind Jimmy, Russell lifted up his head. It was only then that Jimmy noticed the metal collars everyone in the room was wearing, and as he held his hand up to his own neck, he realised he was wearing one too.

Russell noticed his collar immediately, touching it.

"Huh?" Russell said. His fingers began to curl around the collar as if he was about to rip it off.

Without hesistation and fully going off of his gut feeling, Jimmy yelled out to Russell:

"H-hey Russell, don't pull on that!"

Russell didn't listen, didn't even really register Jimmy's voice at all. He gave the collar a hard tug, and Jimmy heard a loud crack as the pressure caused the metal to break.

Before Russell could even realise the repercussions of what he did, the collar *exploded.*

The sound of the blast woke everyone in the room up, and those in front of Russell got the worst of it as they were sprayed by Russell's arterial blood from his burst open neck. The big guy fell over on his desk, his life literally draining out of him and spewing out on the dirty, decrepid tile floor. The Townies awoke and scrambled to their feet at an almost unnatural speed, their eyes widening at Russell's corpse.

It only took a second of realization, before the scream of one of the girl's caused a panic, and all hell broke loose in the room as desks and furniture were toppled over and people scrambled and ran blindly around the room.

Jimmy hated Mondays, and this time, he felt that he had a good reason to at this very moment.

Nothing good happened on Mondays, and it didn't take Russell's gruesome death for Jimmy to realise that after today, nothing would ever be the same again.

#bully scholarship edition #bully game #bully rockstar #bully canis canem edit #bully se #canis canem edit #bully anniversary edition #bully au #jimmy hopkins #pete kowalski #gary smith #trent northwick #wade martin #Lionel Galloway #Dierdre Philips #too many characters to tag #cw blood #cw: gore #tw blood #tw gore #cw death #tw death

[chokit-pyrus]

Top 5 TMNT characters?

To be real boring, it'd be Rise versions of Donnie, Mikey, Raph, April, & Splinter. But that is TOO OBVIOUS! So let's shake things up!

TLDR 1. Rise Donnie 2. 1990 Leo 3. Baron Draxum 4. 1990/Rise Raph 5. 2007 Raph + Leo Honorary Mention. All Mikeys

1. Donatello - Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

(Yeah, I know I said I'd shake things up, but he's my absolute fave TMNT character period so he has to be first.) I don't think it's a very unpopular opinion to say that Donnie often (not always) has the weakest character or role in the story. So, to have this new portrayal in Rise is such a breath of fresh air!

Donnie steals the show! He's got just such a big personality and he's absolutely hilarious! I love every minute he's on screen, his episodes are consistently my favorite, and I think his actor does such a good job with the character.

I love that they took a character who often is just relegated to generic nerd and made him an eccentric, borderline amoral, mad scientist. He's also a goddang Chad and the coolest mf in the entire show.

2. Leonardo - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

I had never seen this movie before getting into Rise so I was pleasantly surprised that it was really good! Not only that but the turtle that I always said was my least favorite ended up being my favorite in this movie! And my favorite version of Leo all together.

I love that he was sweet and caring, I affectionately call him 'Soft Boy Leo,' and instead of being the stoic leader he was more chill and even said that he WASN'T the leader. Leo feeling guilty about arguing with Raph before Raph got injured and then apologizing to him once Raph was better (And then HUGGING) was so sweet and genuine.

I just adore this sweet and sensitive version of Leo. He's so adorable I just wanted to pinch his lil cheeks and give him a kissy! Also the healthy depiction of emotions and love between the brothers was 100%. It was everything!

3. Baron Draxum - Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

I. LOVE. THIS. MAN. I don't have much to say, I just really like him! I didn't think I'd love the adult characters of Rise this much, but OH MAN. I adore Draxum, Splinter, and Big Mama.

I love his design, I think he's so cool, and I love that he's an evil, intimidating, goat monster, but he's also just like A Guy™️. He's evil, he's got horns, he's hunky, he's a dad, what would you expect from me!?? I love every episode he's in. Great guy.

4. Raphael - 1990 | Rise

I'm putting both of these red boys together because I have similar things to say. First, 1990 Raph stood out to me as I liked how his personality and rift with Leo was portrayed. He was very relatable and you could understand where he was coming from. He wasn't just a mean jerk. I really loved the scene with him and Splinter where Splint was telling him it's okay to be upset and he shouldn't bottle up his feelings, that his family would listen to him. It was so sweet and genuine.

And with angel Raphadoodle in Rise I love how they took his character in a different direction. They made him the overprotective big brother, a bit of a knucklehead, and just an absolute sweetheart. Both portrayals of Raph I thought were really refreshing and interesting to see. Different, but great portrayals of Raph where he isn't flanderized. Neither were stereotypical angry bullies or insufferable dudebros.

5. Raphael & Leonardo - TMNT (2007)

So, I'd like to start this by saying that I don't like TMNT 2007. I liked it a lot when I was younger, but after recently rewatching it, I think it's pretty terrible. HOWEVER I thought that these two had a lot of positives going for them, and they could have been really good. The whole movie could have been really good, it's just a story of missed opportunities and wasted potential.

I liked their personalities, I liked their voices, I thought there were moments that gave them depth. Ah well.

HONORARY MENTION: Michelangelo - All Versions

It felt wrong to not include any version of Mikey, so here's a shout-out to ALL VERSIONS! Growing up I would always says that Mikey or Raph were my faves. And honestly, Mikey might be my fave turtle generally nowadays. 🧡🧡🧡🧡

Anyways that's the end of my essay thanks for the ask! 😂😂😂

#txt #long post #tmnt #rottmnt #tmnt 2018 #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 1990 #tmnt 2007 #tmnt movie #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles 1990 #ask #gothamcitycentral #me ranting

[identitiesyourself]

The geek culture is more popular than before

Although it doesn’t look like, geek culture is more present every day in popular culture, in the presentation of games, movies, books, comics, anime, and TV series that are popular even to the people who don’t consider themselves a geek. That makes me question the reason for this surprising change; considering that not many years before, being a geek was terrible looking, because it was considered childish, immature and that they don’t have social interaction. 

The rejection of the geeks

The geeks were a subculture that for years was rejected by society because they were known as freaks or nerds, people with difficulty in social interaction, and very unpopular. In those years it was weird that people liked video games, reading comics, or watching anime, so these fandoms and groups were rejected. So it's curious that these groups and fandoms became so popular.

Being a gamer is now normal

Of all the fandoms, the fandom of video games was the less affected by the rejection of society, because people really liked the video games, because they were something new and innovative, but these get the wrong view that video games are only for the child, and if adult plays videogames he is childish and immature; where this is not the case because the videogames are something that all ages can enjoy and don’t are only to be for a single period of the life of a person.

Reading books or comics is not for “NERDS” anymore

Before the 2000s the people who liked to read books or comics were called “nerds”; that's a popular word that is said to people who are very intelligent but very asocial, but this word is always with the intention of hurting or being an insult to the person. Between the comics and the books, there is a separation because, like the videogames, many people consider that reading comics is only for kids or teenagers, and if you were an adult that enjoys reading comics you are childish and immature; on the other hand, people that read books don’t was so bullied and were a separation between what type of book you read that becomes you a nerd or not, and reading books was something that was more acceptable for grown-ups.

Being an otaku is now cool

Before the 2000s being called an “otaku” was something to be ashamed of, because it was considered weirdy or nerdy by a lot of people. This caused the people who liked anime to hide that they watched and enjoyed anime. There were many reasons for people to dislike anime, like xenophobia, because anime was considered as ‘Asian cartoons’ and there was a reason to dislike them, but now it's a surprise that being called an otaku is not viewed as an insult, there are many theories for the reason that anime is now popular, some people says that is because of the accessibility of the anime and the art appreciation of it, other people say that is because the people that liked anime is now grown up and can easily accept his tastes.

~ Posted by Almanza Santiago

#geek #otaku #nerd #comics #gamer #identities #subcultures

[luvlorn]

under the bleachers [sapnap]

pairing: sapnap x gn!reader

pronouns: they/them

synopsis: high school au!, jock!sapnap x unpopular!reader

wc: 2.6k

anon asked: "i am sapnap quenched, may I pls have some sapnap angst like maybe he gets jealous or there is a misunderstanding between you two causing an argument but it results in fluff"

a/n: i already had started this au, and anon gave me inspo to finish it! i hope this satisfies your sapnap needs :)

tw: couple of swears, angst to fluff!

in the movies, high school was all about the social hierarchy. the jocks and preps ruled the schools, while the nerds resided at the very bottom, with nothing to show but their shamed fashion and annoyingly high test grades.

when you got to high school, you imagined it would be different. it wasn’t, really. sure, it may not have been quite as eccentric as the movies foretold, but the gist of it remained. the athletes and cheerleaders held their heads high, though you guessed their status was more so earned from their bullying and threats rather than the sports they played. nerds were still disregarded, but they didn't all have horrible taste in clothes, if you did say so yourself.

brushing off your chosen outfit of the day, you sighed as you slid your books out of your bag, filing them nicely into your locker. you pulled out your book for your first class, sighing as the sounds of students scrambling about filled your ears. just another day at smp high.

“morning, y/n!” your friends wilbur and niki smiled as they approached, wilbur’s arm thrown lazily around niki’s shoulders. you arched a brow, but the two of them ignored your look, more than used to your antics.

“morning, guys.” you mumbled, finally shutting your locker and slipping off with the two of them, walking towards your first class.

“rough morning, y/n?” niki asked, frowning slightly. you shrugged, fighting off a yawn as the three of you stopped in front of the door. the two of them began the morning with music, while you started with chemistry.

“i’ll be fine once the coffee kicks in. don’t worry about me, have fun in class.” you smiled reassuringly, waving the two off as they entered the class, you continued down the hallway, avoiding teenagers running frantically to get to their homerooms on time.

you calmly reached your lab, entering and seating yourself in the same seat, in the far left of the class, middle row. also unlike the infamous “nerdy” stereotypes, you didn’t enjoy sitting front and center, and kept to yourself unless called upon. you quietly opened your book as instructed on the board in front of you, just as the bell for the period rang.

the lesson dragged on, you taking notes all the while. before you knew it, the bell rang once more, dismissing the class. you began to pile your things, when suddenly an arm came by and swept under your things, sending them all tumbling to the floor. you looked up, fighting the urge to roll your eyes.

“oops.. sorry about that.” sapnap snickered sarcastically. his friends behind him, dream and george, laughed loudly. you kept your expression stoic as you bent down to collect your things, scoffing at their childish actions.

the “dream team” as they insisted to be addressed, quickly got bored and left, probably to bully some freshman. they were your typical star athletes, with dream captaining and sapnap playing on the football team, and george captaining the soccer team. as most ‘jocks’ do, they had over inflated egos and you couldn't stand them.

as you gathered the materials off the floor, you noticed a small folded note. you looked around, but you realized you were the last student so you swept it into your pile and quickly made your way back to your locker to swap your books. you pulled out the note curiously, unfolding it.

‘y/n. meet me under the bleachers after class.’ you frowned, blinking down at the small crumpled paper in your hand. there was no signature, but you knew exactly who it wrote the message from the messy handwriting. sighing, you threw the note back into your locker, pulling out your next book, and pushing it out of your mind.

the rest of the day was uneventful, until the final bell rang and you quickly threw your books into your bag messily. niki and wilbur looked at you concerned, exchanging a small glance. they decided not to speak on it though, simply rearranging their own lockers for the night.

“i’m gonna walk home today, i think. it’s been a long day, and i could use the fresh air.” you spoke boredly, nervously gripping the straps on your backpack. your two best friends only nodded, and bid you a goodbye as they made their way to wilbur’s car. you huffed, closing your locker and heading in the other direction once they were out of sight.

you knew they weren’t stupid. they had to know something was up by now. you wanted to tell them everything; but he asked you not to. you wanted to tell wilbur and niki so badly about him, but the overwhelming need to please your boyfriend overpowered your own desire. for awhile, anyways. now you were starting to feel the drift in your friendship, and you were tired.

you arrived at the bleachers, seeing his broad frame anxiously awaiting your arrival. sapnap’s eyes beamed as he saw you approaching, opening his arms for a hug. you walked into his arms, but very half-heartedly reciprocated the hug. he pulled away, frowning.

“what’s wrong?” he asked, gently placing his hands on your shoulders, holding you in place as his eyes darted around your face in search of something wrong. you only shrugged his hands off, turning your back to him. sapnap knew something was very, very wrong by now. you usually basked in the short amount of time the two of you shared under the bleachers.

“y/n, you’re scaring me.” he whispered, and you sighed, crossing your arms and rubbing them comfortingly, reassuring yourself. you turned back around, now a decent distance set between you and your lover.

“i don’t know how much more of this i can take, sap.” you breathed, and his expression dropped immediately. he opened his mouth to speak, but you shook your head, silencing him. “this, us. it’s ruining me. you spend every waking minute of the day throwing things at me, breaking my stuff. then we come here for 10 short minutes every day to kiss, and then you leave again!”

“i’m trying to make this work-” he tried, but you once again, cut him off. you weren’t finished.

“no, you’re not! you won’t even let me tell my two closest friends - who, by the way, i’m losing because of you! soon i’ll be left with nothing! this isn’t a healthy relationship sapnap, and i’m sick of it!” you were shouting now, and you watched as his eyes darted nervously around, hoping no one heard you. you scoffed.

“you care so much about your reputation you’re more worried about someone hearing me, than you yourself hearing what i’m saying.” you stepped back then, desperately trying to fight the tears threatening to spill from your eyes. sapnap noticed, gulping harshly; he too was fighting tears.

“that’s not true, and you know it. i love you!” he choked, taking a step forward, and you shook your head softly, taking another step back.

“do you?” your voice cracked, and the two simple words broke both your hearts. you glanced at his face, only to force yourself to look away. you had never seen him so broken, and it was your fault. no. it was his fault, he did this to you both. without another word, you turned, leaving the heartbroken boy you loved so much, crying under the bleachers alone.

sapnap stood in pure shock as you left, a sickening feeling rising in his chest as the weight of your words hit him like a truck. you thought he didn’t love you. he sunk to the ground, silent sobs wracking his body. he didn’t once think about the fact football practice was starting, and that he was going to miss it. he didn’t care about that - he cared about you.

he wasn’t sure how long he sat under those bleachers, replaying every memory the two of you shared, trying to figure out where he went wrong. maybe it was the time someone almost caught the two of you making out under the seats, and he pushed you to the ground without a second thought, switching back to his typical bully persona. maybe it was the multiple times he promised he’d take you out for a real date, and never really did.

it wasn’t. he knew the real reason why you were upset.

the two of you laid in the grass under the bleachers, you simply resting your head on his shoulder as you talked about anything and everything. this was your first rendezvous in your newly declared ‘spot’, it was exciting and romantic all at once.

“hey, y/n?” sapnap called, and with a hum in response from you, continued. “can we, you know, keep this between us for now?” he asked, sheepishly. he’d just been personally accepted as dream’s right hand man, and was trying to perfect his image in this shitty school hierarchy. you never cared about it, but you knew he did. “it’s not because of you, it’s just-”

“of course, you don’t need to explain. i understand.” you smiled, and he relaxed, visibly. “just maybe not forever?” you added, hopefully. he smiled brightly, nodding quickly.

“i couldn’t keep you a secret forever, angel. in fact, i can’t wait to show you off to the whole school, and let them know you’re mine.” his words were like music to your ears, and you kissed him passionately, taking him completely off guard. the two of you pulled away laughing, simply enjoying each other's presence.

that was one of sapnap’s favourite memories of the two of you. ever since that day, tradition was to meet under the bleachers after school whenever possible. the visits became less and less frequent however, with dream demanding more practices and after-school hangouts. 4 months later, sapnap still hadn’t brought you up to anyone, and now as he pondered his relationship, realized he also neglected you.

determination flooded him, and he stood. he wasn’t going to let your relationship end like this, not without a fight. he quickly ran to the locker room, finding dream addressing some future tactics with punz. “dream!” sapnap called, and everyone’s attention flicked to him, some sending him worried glances.

“you missed practice.” dream’s voice cut through the silence, anger leaking from his tone. his eyes met sapnap’s, however, and softened immediately at the pain visible in his eyes. “okay guys, dismissed. get out of here.” dream announced, and the team whooped and hollered as they filed out of the locker room. soon, it was just the two boys standing in silence.

“you gonna tell me why you’ve been crying?” dream asked, a somewhat teasing tone attempting to mask the real concern he felt for the boy. sapnap was like a younger brother to him, he hated seeing him this way.

“i-have-a-significant-other.” sapnap rushed, and dream gave him a confused look. sapnap sighed, wringing his fingers nervously. “i, uh, sort of.. maybe have a significant other?” he muttered, and dream blinked, suddenly let out a loud laugh. sapnap flushed, embarrassed as dream began laughing uncontrollably, hunched over as wheezes slipped past his lips. tears welled up in sapnap’s eyes again, muttering a small “nevermind” as he turned to leave.

“no- no wait.” dream wheezed, desperately trying to collect himself. “sorry, sorry it's just - yeah. y/n. what about them?” he managed, breathing heavily after his intense fit of laughter. sapnap froze, turning back to dream.

“what did you just say?” sapnap asked, and dream chuckled, much more calm this time.

“y/n? the super smart kid you’ve been teasing nonstop for the entire year? yeah, george and i have known for a while. you’re not exactly subtle, sapnap.” dream explained, and sapnap flushed.

“what.. why didn’t you say anything then?” sapnap exclaimed, panic settling in. he’d put you through so much pain to keep this from dream, when he’d known all along?

“you didn’t ever mention them, we figured you would tell us when you felt ready.” dream shrugged, taking a swig from his water bottle. sapnap smiled a bit at this, but let out a heavy sigh.

“i really fucked up with them, dream. i don’t know what to do.” sapnap admitted, and he explained the situation to him in detail. dream listened intently, frowning as he came to a realization.

“sap, you.. you didn’t do this because you thought i’d stop being friends with you, did you?” he asked, hesitantly. sapnap didn’t answer, only dropping his gaze to the floor in response. dream sighed, bringing the younger male into a hug. sapnap startled, but clung to the boy desperately. “don’t worry, we’ll fix this.” dream muttered, and smirked as a plan started to form in his head. “i have an idea.”

the next morning, you arrived at school looking nothing short of a mess. you tried to hide the redness of your eyes, and failed miserably. hence why when half the school looked at you as you walked sluggishly to your locker, you thought nothing of it. you simply kept your head down and only lifted it when reaching your destination. instead of the regular brown metal however, your locker had sapnap’s jersey pinned to it.

you blinked, flushing as you realized everyone’s eyes were on you not because you looked like you’d been to hell and back, but because of this. you swallowed, swiftly pulling the jersey off of your locker and holding it in your hands, staring at it in wonder.

“i was hoping you’d wear it to our game friday night.” his voice cut through the buzzing chatter of students crystal clear, and you slowly turned to see sapnap standing with your favourite drink in hand, offering it to you sheepishly.

“what the- what are you doing?” you whispered, completely overwhelmed by the gestures being thrown your way. sapnap sighed, swallowing thickly.

“i’ve been a horrible boyfriend, y/n. you deserve so much better than what i’ve been treating you - and you’re right. it wasn’t fair of me to ask you to lie to your friends, or to hide under the bleachers. none of it was okay. i wasn’t lying yesterday. i want to make this work - i love you. if you’ll give me another chance, i’ll do better. i’ll be better. if you don’t want to though, i understand-” he rambled, and more tears welled up in your eyes.

“shut up and let me talk..” you cut him off, and he shut his mouth instantly. “no one has ever done anything like this for me. i love you too, sapnap. of course i’ll give you another chance.” you smiled, pulling him into a passionate kiss. claps and cheers echoed around you, and you pulled away, laughing at the situation in front of you.

suddenly, the football team came and clapped sapnap on the back, a chorus of “simpnap!” cheers following. he pouted, but you only shrugged, showing off the jersey in your hands. he sighed, accepting defeat. “only for you.” he whispered to you, and you smiled impossibly brighter.

the first warning bell went off, students left and right quickly scrambling away from the scene, and you followed suit, gently folding the jersey and placing it in your locker. “so? will you wear it to the game on friday?” sapnap asked, and you almost jumped - you’d figured he’d left with the crowd.

you pretended to think about it, seeing another adorable pout adorn sapnap’s expression. “on one condition.” you claimed, and sapnap looked at you expectantly. beckoning him closer with a finger, you leaned up to his ear, your voice barely a whisper. “meet me under the bleachers after class?”

#sapnap x reader #sapnap x y/n #dsmp x y/n #sapnap imagine #mcyt x reader #mcyt x y/n #mcyt imagine

[winifredsandersonsbitch]

While I agree with your point about Willow's attitude toward Faith, I do think that, when we're talking about her attitude toward Harmony, we need to remember that Harmony bullied her for most of her childhood and all of her teenage years. I think the fandom is quick to forget how Harmony (and Cordelia for that matters) were bullies and how it could have affected Willow. Willow wasn't just an unpopular nerd, she was actively bullied for years.

you’re right! I totally understand why Willow hates Harmony and Cordelia, but I also pay a lot of attention to the language that she uses when describing them. for me, it’s very much about how she decides to focus on how these popular mean girls are slutty and stupid. so many of Willow’s criticisms of Cordelia and Harmony are that they sleep around, that they wear tight/low cut clothes, that they get bad grades and they’ll have no future... and that’s similar to how she continues to talk about Faith (or really any girl that she doesn’t like) for the rest of the series

there are so many valid critiques that Willow could’ve made about Harmony and Cordelia, but instead she focused on surface level things that stem from some clearly internalized misogyny. and yes, that’s realistic for high school girls! and yes, I understand why she felt like that! bullying is shitty and she didn’t deserve it. but as Willow grows up, we don’t really see that part of her disappear or change. she continues to think of Faith and other girls she dislikes as slutty and dumb, which is a huge disservice to her otherwise awesome character.

Cordelia grows a lot and I love who she becomes, but I never expected Willow to forgive her. I just wanted to see Willow gain a better understanding of how other women can be awful in ways that don’t reflect on their success in traditional education or their body count

#btvs #willow rosenberg #cordelia chase #pls feel free to add your thoughts! #this is just my personal take on it #again... I mostly attribute this to the male writers’ sexism

[miggydiaz]

For the salty ask 1, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10, 14, 16, 20, 22, 23 and 26 for cobra kai pretty please

My answers are so long, so I am putting this under the cut @wonderwolfballoon! Also I just noticed your Daniel icon I SWEAR I’M NOT DRAGGING HIM TO BE MEAN!!!

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?* My biggest IDGI ships for CK are probably Elimetri or Kiaz. I’m not here to yuck other people’s yums or anything, but I do think there is something to the idea that Migueli isn’t popular because it’s a ship predicated on mutual respect for one another. Kiaz has the obvious enemies to lovers vibe and I just generally don’t sail those ships. Elimetri has... its problems, IMO, most especially around the idea that Demetri has to like... save Hawk from himself? Idk. I just like romances that I feel are based on love and mutual respect and not ...tropes.

 I am also not a Lawrusso shipper although I have a lot of those on my dash and you all are great! Again, not yucking yums! Daniel just makes me want to head butt him too much to pair him romantically with anyone 😂 I don’t even want his wife with him. He needs to self reflect~ 

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?* 

I once saw someone ship Amanda and Anoush and I noped out of that so fucking fast I almost tripped over myself. I’m not sure if they’re popular. I just think some people feel the need to get Amanda out of the way to sail their ship and stuck her with Anoush which... no. Just no. Let Amanda be a messy single queen with a martini hobby, thanks! 

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?* 

Not in CK. I’m lucky because I pretty much stick to my little Migueli bubble and I’m okay with that? Lmao lord knows the Squad on my dash is all about the DISCOURSE™️ so idk if I just don’t feel the need to get sucked into the wider ship wars because we have good healthy debates, but so far, so good. 

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?* 

I never hated it... I just didn’t have many feelings on shipping with this show in general at first. Then I was in the CK tag one day and I saw Migueli fan art. Then I discovered @afurioushawk‘s falconry series and it was all over for me after that! So fandom DID make me love a ship, just not one I hated.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why? Oh boy. How much time do you have? In some instances, it’s a good thing season 3 happened because otherwise, this would be a multi-page essay on the problems with race and class privilege as it pertains to Sam LaRusso and just some... generally not nice comments about Demetri that I’m conflicted about because I’m not sure if the writers are intentionally trying to write him a specific way and it’s just not translating to me or what. But season 3 revamped both of their images with me a lot. I’m way more flexible in terms of Demetri, but lmao I was the number one Sam LaRusso hater for a minute there (or maybe number 2, I can think of at least 1 other person who was in that boat with me back in like... August/September, but I won’t call them out because I don’t want them to get hate...) However, I have grown a bit in my opinions of Sam, and even though I still think she’s responsible  for a lot of shit she NEVER gets held accountable for, I also think that’s a reflection of the adults around her too, and this includes my otherwise unproblematic queen, Amanda.

But honestly, my most hated character (other than the obvious villain that is Kreese) is Daniel. No matter how handsome Ralph Macchio looks in cable-knits, because Daniel has always been a sanctimonious, shit starting drama king and I say that about KK Daniel too. I’m not saying Daniel was the ~true villain~ or anything, or that Johnny was innocent -- I can only drink so much Red and Yellow Kool-Aid -- but Daniel’s always been annoying to me as a protagonist, and turning him into a smarmy wealthy car salesman who is also a class traitor did not do him any favors in my book. I will say, I also like Daniel more in season 3 than I have in previous season, but since he is the adult, I will be mad at him longer than I will be at the kids, ya feel?

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

 Johnny’s entire season 3 storyline. The sheer level of REGRESSION at every turn drives me bonkers. It’s like watching him go through all of the stumbling blocks of season 1 all over again, but without the “he’s learning! He’s going to make mistakes!” free pass that I was willing to give him the first time around. He regularly jeopardizes Miguel’s recovery and it’s played for laughs. He fucks up on every level with Robby. He spends most of his time running away when things get hard or too real. He drops the ball completely with Hawk, and like, not to put too fine a point on it, but a lot of Hawk’s issues are because Johnny put Hawk on this ‘flip the script and be a badass’ path and then offered him no guidance for how to walk that path and instead left him in the hands of Kreese. And then he has the nerve to go to Hawk and basically be like “I made you what you are!” lmao yeah Johnny, you sure did, that’s why he’s breaking peoples arms, hoss. And then all of the nonsense with Ali and Carmen, like... if you were planning on teasing KK fans with Ali and him getting back together, why write her as married in the first place? Why even tease the idea of Carmen and Johnny until after you were sure what you were going to do with Ali as a character? Instead, they do what they did in season 3 and it makes him look like a colossal jerk. So yeah. Literally every choice they made with Johnny this season, I hated.

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom? People who hate Tory are not valid, sorry not sorry.

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change? I would have kept Miguel entirely out of Tory and Sam’s beef. Or at least not directly inserted him into it like he was with the kiss. I know the writers thought it was necessary to push Tory to the point of inciting a fight at school, but I am just so exhausted over girls being unable to fight about anything but boys. Also I would bring Aisha back.

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom? 

I am probably biased, but I still maintain it’s Migueli. Look, Miguel stood up to Kyler for Eli and Demetri both. Hawk joined CK because he saw what it could do for some skinny nerd who was getting his ass kicked. And he took to CK, really took to it! Even flourished before he started getting mixed messages. And he and Miguel were pretty much inseparable after that. They coordinated their wardrobes ffs. Hawk dubbed him El Serpiente and no one else calls him that — it’s Hawk’s nickname for him. Miguel confides in Hawk only secondary to Johnny, who is like a father to him. The entire Coyote Creek exchange shows they can fight and disagree but... well, to use the cliche, they don’t go to bed angry, you know? They’re square the very next day. Hawk is the first person at Miguel’s side when he gets kicked over the balcony and the LOOK he gives the second floor where Robby is? That boy is out for blood immediately to avenge Miguel. So much of his s3 behavior is fueled by that need for vengeance because MD is wholly responsible for what happened to Miguel. And Miguel is so confused and betrayed by Hawk’s shift in behavior, and yet still holds out hope that Hawk will see through Kreese’s BS and come with him to The Dojo I Refuse to Name. And when Hawk does make that deflection finally, he shows up at MD with Miguel. There’s so much more that I know I’m missing but whether someone ships them or not, that is a tried and true love and respect for one another, a willingness to fight for and defend one another that you don’t often see in TV friendships... or even in most tv relationships. And I just think that’s the best ❤️

22. Popular character you hate?

 Daniel, hands down. I mean... I don’t even necessarily hate Daniel, you know? I just think it’s really, pardon the pun, rich that a guy of immense wealth and privilege can’t get a therapist or turn to his far too patient wife for help with his existential crisis over his high school bully opening up a karate dojo to make some money and help a kid who is getting the crap kicked out of him. I get that Daniel’s narrative is necessary for the rivalry, but it does nothing to make him sympathetic as a character.

23. Unpopular character you love?

 Tory, definitely! Everyone hates her and then there’s me and the Squad over here banging away on our Coors Banquet cans yelling TORY RIGHTS! Seriously she catches so much flack for a teenage girl who is... the sole income provider for her family? At 17? While caring for a sick mom and a little brother? And fending off a creepy landlord? Tory has it so rough and then she meets a cool girl at her dojo who asks her to hang out at some fancy ass country club which is probably the nicest place Tory has ever been in, and then she gets talked down to and accused of being a thief and has another girl lay hands on her, only to find out that same girl is her new boyfriend’s ex and... ugh. I HATE that Tory gets shit all over when Tory and Sam wouldn’t even have beef if Sam had apologized to Tory as she SHOULD have. Tory isn’t innocent, but damn, I’d be pressed too.

 My other unpopular character I love? Nathaniel. Seriously that kid is THE best. He’s a literal child but is out there like I WILL FUCK YOU UP, even though he’s MD. Honestly, his Cobra Kai energy is so ferocious I won’t be surprised if he moves back to CK eventually. Anyway, I love him.


26. Most shippable character?

 Miguel, hands down. It’s because he’s so affable and sweet overall. And because his hair is so fluffy and pettable that no one can resist touching it. I like to imagine that one day he and Hawk are talking about their hair and Hawk makes a joke about how Miguel’s mane is getting so long that it’s going to be bigger than his own, and then he reaches out to ruffle it and internally has a bisexual meltdown because oh no IT’S SO SOFT AND NICE. But uh... anyway, yes. Definitely Miguel.

#ask game #cobra kai #sorry y’all I gotta tag #uh #anti Daniel larusso #anti lawrusso #anti Kiaz #anti Elimetri #it’s not *really* anti those ships but uh... tagging for the culture??? #plz don’t flame ship who you ship!!! #Migueli #i hope this is tagged appropriately if you need something else tagged lmk

[gellavonhamster]

Mina and Jonathan Harker for character ask meme! (The Murrays ;) )

<3 <3 <3

Mina:

First impression: I definitely like her and her narrative voice so far, she’s probably going to be one of my favourite characters in this book

Impression now: I believe I’ve said it already that I want to be Mina Harker when I grow up even though at this point I must be older than she is in the novel, and I still feel that way

Favorite moment: It’s very difficult to choose one, but I immediately thought of how she dashed into the night to look for Lucy when she sleepwalked to the graveyard... the devotion...

Idea for a story: adaptation-wise, I’d love to see the version of canon in which she is the one to kill Dracula (I’ve seen it done in Dracula’s Curse, but I think this is something that can be used repeatedly in different versions). Regarding fanfiction, maybe the backstory of her friendship with Lucy? 

Unpopular opinion: I’ve seen posts on how it’s a pity that at the end of the day a strong female character like her still needs being saved by men, but I don’t really see it that way? The men would’ve achieved jack shit without her! She’s an active and vital participant in the quest to reverse her curse, she’s not just sitting there waiting for other people to do the job.

Favorite relationship: I think I love both Mina & Lucy (platonic, romantic, whatever) and Mina/Jonathan the same amount tbh

Favorite headcanon: her pupils LOVE her. She doesn’t tolerate flippant attitude to studies, but she’s very understanding and caring and makes sure no one is bullied and is always there to listen to their problems. They think she’s really cool.

Jonathan:

First impression: oh no honey... please listen to what literally everyone is telling you and do not go to that castle 

Impression now: one of the most likeable and relatable narrators in the classical lit, in my opinion, and, like, such a genuinely good person... I love him

Favorite moment: when he said that if they can’t save Mina, he’ll let her turn him into a vampire so she doesn’t spend eternity alone :’)

Idea for a story: I can’t think of anything extremely original at the moment, so just tooth-rotting fluff about him and Mina at the beginning of their relationship

Unpopular opinion: he’s not boring, he’s just an ordinary guy that the readers (aka other ordinary guys) are supposed to recognize themselves in! He’s a soft nerd AND a hero and that’s kind of the point!

Favorite relationship: Jonathan/Mina, without a doubt. They love and support each other so much, their love is rooted in friendship and respect and being each other’s biggest fans - what not to love?

Favorite headcanon: he and Mina knew each other as kids (if I remember correctly, Mr. Hawkins mentions that he’s known both of them since their childhood) but lost contact with each other when both of them, more or less at the same time, became orphans (Mina lost both of her parents and was sent to live with distant relatives and then to boarding school, and Jonathan lost his father). As teenagers, they reconnected through Mr. Hawkins, who knew the parents of both of them, and their friendship rekindled. It took some time until it bloomed into romance, and they loved each other long before they fell in love with each other.

#i see all your asks (i assume they're all sent by the same person) and i'll answer all of them eventually #but that'll take some time #and i'm not sure i know what to say about all the characters you named but i'll try my best #thank you! #anonymous #asks #gella talks dracula #mina harker #jonathan harker #dracula #bram stoker #jonmina

[lost-in-the-spectrum]

What is the Asperger-Syndrome?

Friends of the sun shine…

This is gonna be my very first tumblr post in English about a very personal and important topic I’d like to write about. You see the title and think ‘I heard of that, I know what it is’? Then f*ck you because you don’t.

 First of all: My name is Helli, I am 25 years old and I’ve got the Asperger-Syndrome, now a days also known as Autism-Spectrum-Disorder. I’ve been suffering of bullying, misunderstanding, being let down and being unheard, being treated differently and badly just because I’ve behaved specifically during the spectrum and its issues. I was an introvert, a daydreamer, a comic- and video game geek... especially the last point might be an information where you go like ‘huh, that is actually cool’ but well... years ago it wasn’t. I was a nerd for others and nerds were meant to be uncool and unpopulare for a quite long time. Unfair? Yes, it is. But do you think anyone did care those days? No.

 Anyways, before I start to tell you something about this syndrome – and before I do the same mistake as I did 5 years ago making a video for my German YouTube channel to talk about it – I’d like to mention that all I tell you in this post is only ABOUT ME. Every autistic person is DIFFERENT and not everyone got the same issues or strengths as me. So please before you drop every autistic person in one box which I accidently did in the video I mentioned before, please remember: THIS IS JUST ABOUT ME. Yet I will drop some general informations about that syndrome as well. And maybe you recognize yourselves or other people and friends, maybe you’re autistic yourself then let me know in every possible way you want.

 What is the Asperger-Syndrom (medical)?

It is a profound developmental disorder with issues in social communicating, correct interpretation of facial expressions and gesturing. People with the Asperger-Syndrome are most of the time hardly interested in any topic but create a special huge interest in certain topics. Most of them are, like with me, video games and comics, computer and technology in general, sometimes even different kinds of science or arts. In some individual cases people with this syndrome are incredibly good at mathematics or speaking (linguistically gifted) but at the same time these people are not able to do other simple things. Me as an example: Never mind how much I practised, how good the teacher was, I always wrote bad exams in mathematics even tho I understood what I did in the homeworks before and even in some very simple exercises I do the one or other mistake. BUT even tho I’ve hardly read a book in my life because – I am not gonna lie – books (novels) are uninteresting for me I am very good at speaking, writing, formulating, describing things (...) I am pretty good at articulating myself. So I eventually belong to these people who are linguistically gifted. I can only tell that my dad – a former German teacher – is even kinda impressed about my way of speaking because I – as I have already told – hardly hold a book in my hands. I only remember three novels I’ve read in my whole life and those books where lucky to be interesting enough for me.

 Anyways... those are the main signs and behaviors of people with this syndrome. Of course the Asperger-Syndrome is not the only disorder. The spectrum is pretty huge and includes many other Autism-Disorders. Not only other names but also syndromes with the same name but with some little deviations in behavior and ‘gifts’. So while I have not such a huge problem with maybe speaking with people and explaining them how I feel and see the world (as long as they give me the chance to do so) other people with the same syndrome might have big issues in formulating and ordering their feelings, describing them etc. While I really want to become an educater and work with children and teenagers to help them on the right way – I even want to work in special institutions for people with depressions and other conditions – other people with the Asperger-Syndrome completely avoid people and social contact or at least prefer jobs where they can be for their own.

 These are only some examples for the issues or strengths people with this syndrome have to deal with. Other examples – where I can relate – are these...

Being not interested in other     children as a child and prefering to play on their own.

Misunderstanding things and     informations which are said because these people sometimes have an own way     to say and describe these things.

Being unable to use the correct     facial expressions to a certain feeling as well as misunderstanding them     on other people. – almost the same issue which they have with told things.

Unable to be flexible and     spontanious, prefering to know appointments and meetings at least one day     earlier, even tho it is spending time on the beach with friends.

Mostly having a strict day     structure and plan and having issues to change them.

Sometimes not interested in     other people but in objects. I for example am more imperessed of a note     book having a nice cover than of a handsome man.

Most of the time for their own     and focused on their own life, problems etc. Which you can mix up very     easily with ‘just being day dreaming’ Which seems egoistic to other     people.

Sometimes not even able to show     emotions or at least they have a limited number of emotions on stock.

They often do things everytime     on the one and same way – Much alike this day structure thing – and while     other people get bored very quickly by that people with this syndrom     actually love it to know what’s coming next and that it is everyday the     same. (This is because these people really want to have the ultimate     control on everything they do.)

 Now we come to the points which some autistic people can relate but indeed not everyone of them:

��Having a bad ‘inter navigation’     which means that they’re pretty bad at reading maps, finding a simple way     even tho there are signs and shields telling them where to go and even tho     someone once walked the way together with them. (I am one of them. Other     Autists are pretty good at navigation and geography.)

Reminding information or images     by first sight (photographic mind, like the boy who flew over a city with     a helicopter and drew the whole city down only by viewing it once.)

Being able to solve a mathematic     exercise in their head within 30 seconds or less.

Having a higher IQ from 113 up     to 200, also known as ‘extremly gifted’ (unfortunately not everyone... I’ve     met some people...)

Being very tidy, ordered and     hygenic. (also not everyone. For example me: I am captain Chaos.)

Being very sensitive if it’s     about smell, flavor, feeling, light, noises etc. (I’ve got only some     noises which freak me out and sometimes I can’t deal with the sun light     because it is just way to bright for me. That’s why some autistic people     always use noise-cancelling headphones or sunglasses.)

Having issues with being in a     relationship including love and sex life. (Not me: I have got a boyfriend     without Autism and we come along pretty well actually. We do also fight     like ‘normal’ people. There is hardly a difference. Yet there are some     other kinds of people.)

 There are also autistic people who behave much more extreme than the examples I’ve written down. Some of them still ‘belong’ to the Asperger-Spectrum, others already drift into the ‘Kanner-Spectrum’ which is known as the ‘Autism’ which comes up to our minds when we hear about it. It’s the ultimate image most of the people still have when they hear about ‘Autism’: Swinging around on the chair or floor and not noticing anyone speaking to them: caught in their ‘own world’. Behaving uneasy, having no respect or not accepting distance. Some of them even’d like to touch your ‘private zone’ because they think it is interesting but don’t understand that it is not okay – or even sexual harassment – to do so. Hurting themselves by hitting their head against the wall – for example – if they’re told to do what they don’t want to. In general known as easily provocating people, aggressive and having no control over their own actions.

 This is a completely other topic tho. So if you’d like to have a list with examples and definitions of different Autism-Spectrums, just let me know!

 Now: What is the Asperger-Syndrome for me?

Even tho some ‘

social justice warriors

’ or other autistic people will hate me for that I tell you what it is for me: A disorder and a disability and also an other view of life.

Are disorders and disabilities bad for me? Is it bad and wrong to call Autism like that? No. Why? Because people are used to use these words as offenses or general in a negative point? Sry, that’s not my problem. If these people seriously yell at me calling my own Autism as disorder and disability, because they find it bad and discrimanting - because their definition of it is negative - then those people are discriminating – not me - because they think disabled people with a disorder are negative in some way and that’s why it’s wrong to call them like that. This is discriminating and hurting by these people and they do anything with this attitude except something good.

Autism is a disorder. Autism is a disability. This is a fact and this doesn’t make us to worse or less valuable people than others. If you really automatically think my disability makes myself less valuable to others it means to me that you think it is something negative too and this is discriminating! Never mind how you try to turn it.

 So why is it a disability and disorder besides the medical fact that it is? 1st I am disabled in social communication. Never mind how good I probably am in articulating myself and formulating things, I still don’t now how to start a conversation, how to get to know someone, not even how to meet people. In fact I am even nervous about meeting new people, being in a room with strange new people with whom I am supposed to work closer in future is a bit hard for me. I am incredibly insecure, especially because of my bullying experience.

I hate having small-talk or being unnecessary ‘polite’ ... like not saying the total truth about something and lie a little bit instead to make people not feel uncomfortable which is wrong in my opinion. But that’s how society works. And while people without Autism know how ‘the cookie crumbles’ and they have no issues with behaving like this I feel uneasy about it and as honest I am with my words and thoughts, so am I with my feelings which means that I can’t hide it when I’m feeling uneasy. Society feels uneasy about me feeling uneasy because these ‘simple’ society actions. You see where this goes.

 2nd I have issues with reading faces and recognizing voices. That means I can’t always tell if a person is angry, annoyed, okay or happy and I can’t tell by the person’s voice if he or she is angry, stressed, annoyed, sad, anything like this which is usually also a special key to some kind of social communication. All I can do is ask if he or she is okay or what’s the matter but I have met many people in my life and some of them think that it should be so obvious how they feel that I must be a silly cunt to not notice it. Or maybe worse: they think I don’t care and I pretend to care to make people think that I am a good person but in fact I am ignorant. Yes, that’s what some people once thought of me.

 3rd I am disabled to have a normal everyday life in – for example - summer time when it is hot outside. It’s not like just being done because it’s so warm and I am sweating, no. People who know me well have seen me during hot summer times and I am absolutely useless. I am like totally done, almost dead if you really want to know. In case that I go outside because the temperatures are not too hot and I am able to move in the sun (and because I need food, you know, don’t wanna starve) there is an other problem: the sun light. I go out, the sun and its light burns down on me and suddenly I hardly see a thing, everything I watch shines in a horrible bright light and literally blends me. I need to wear sunglasses for that, sometimes even in the late afternoon when the sun light isn’t that bright anymore. Even then, because my Autism is also a kind of ‘high sensibility’ if it’s about sun light or certain kind of noises and sounds. In addition I am not always able to handle stress and busy situations. Stress knocks me out sometimes and it’s not like just being stressed, no. Sometimes I start crying. I’m having an overload, a so-called meltdown (which is also something I’d like to write about in an other post) which means I am crying for hours and having a mental and emotional break down. All the emotions I actually felt for a quite long time and which I’ve held back because I know that in these situations these emotions would make them worse... all these emotions, sometimes including emotions I think I didn’t even know that they exist, are coming out. It’s like me being a huge frozen mointain, completely made of ice, the emotions which come out because of the stress are getting hot and making my frozen shell melt and break down... I am literally a frozen vulcano who explodes with all its emotions. Now tell me: do you think I could work in a stressy job for eight or more hours a day without having these break downs?

 To the question why it is a disorder: No person has got the right to decide what’s normal and what’s not. But comparing my issues and my behavior in certain situations because of my condition to the behavior of other people without this condition, it is definitely a disorder. When it comes to the situations I am disable to handle ... it is like me being a television which loses its signal right within a good television show. I have literally no signal in these moments. I am having a disruption. Do you say your television is not having a disruption then? ‘It is not having a disruption, it is just special.’ God damn, that sounds kinda discrimanting, doesn’t it?

 I am disabled. I’m having a disorder. But that doesn’t make me to a bad person and less valuable than anyone else. You know, I can learn, how to communicate. I can learn, what to do in stressy situations. I can learn to read expressions, learn and study different expressions or the sound of voices in different emotions. I can learn this all.

Disability is a medical fact for me. It describes or is a ‘name’ for the issues we have. I will always be disabled like – even tho this is an extreme example, don’t blame me for that, please – a person who’s sitting in the wheel chair because he or she lost his or her leg in an accident, in a war, anything like that. BUT as this person can learn to walk with a prothesis so they won’t be stopped at all, so I can and will learn to communicate and manage my life and find my place in this world. I will always be disabled but I’ll never be impaired. I don’t wanna be changed or even pitied, I want to be accepted and luckily there are people who accept and also love me the exact way I am.

 I really want to mention again: please, don’t blame or hate me for comparing me with a person who lost a leg and has to sit in the wheel chair... I know this life is worse and it is horrible and not really comparable with my disorder. But I just want to make a point.

Autism is an other way of to be and even tho there are so many different autistic people everyone of ‘us’ is different and when you know one autistic person then you know exactly one. Only one. Meet more of us and you’ll know who we really are.

 I hope you took the time to read it all and that I could explain at least a little to you what the Asperger-Syndrome is. There are some informations in the internet and in some books, medical facts and experiences as well as personal ones, blogs like this or even youtube channels. Feel free to check them all out but please educate yourself correctly and stop putting us all in a box.

 Thanks for reading. Good bye!

#autism #autism spectrum condition #autism spectrum disorder #autism spectrum #asperger #aspergers #asperger syndrome #lost in the spectrum #enlightenment #education

[sortasirius]

dean for the character thing!

Ah.  The one.  My comfort character.  Strap in bucko.

Dean

How I feel about this character: Not to be a dramatic asshole but he is literally the love of my life.  In the beginning, he hides all his emotions behind this macho bravado, womanizing personality, all sarcasm and sass, but he’s always been the one with all the emotions.  He’s so fucking smart, he loves Vonnegut and Tolstoy, he’s naturally good at engineering and math, he can rewire literally anything and make it work again.  He’s a kick-ass mechanic, literally built Baby back from the ground up without even thinking about it.  He’s an amazing cook, he’s a natural giver, and is always willing to protect the people he cares about.  He loves fiercely, and has a hard time believing the people he loves would do him wrong.  He loves Taylor Swift, he loves rom coms, he loves cucumber water.  He has hotdog pajama pants and noodle socks that say “Send Noods”  He wanted to be a rock star.  He had to become a parent at five years old, and he always put Sam first, even when he was given another choice, a way to get out of the life, he chose Sam.  He’s a great hunter, he can figure out the through-line or the mo of the bad guy before almost anyone else.  He’s a drama queen™   He’s good with babies, kids, and teenagers.  He stands up for people that are being bullied.  He sings when he’s nervous.  He knows how to flirt his way past a man.  He’s a big nerd that would absolutely be into DND.  His comfort show is Scooby Doo and he watches it when he’s sad.  He calls himself the Meat Man.  He can sing even though he pretends he can’t.  He’s made some really fucked up mistakes.  He took the Mark of Cain, he’s killed innocent people that didn’t deserve it sometimes, he let an angel possess Sam and didn’t tell him about it, he kicked Cas out to protect that secret, he pushed Jack away and othered him because of his anger about Cas and Mary.  But at the same time, he’s overcome so much.  He’s literally gone to Hell and back, gotten through the Mark of Cain, escaped unscathed from Michael, gotten through the connection to Amara, from being a demon.  He’s gone through so much grief but it’s never stopped him from loving and accepting love from others.  I could go on for hours about him, about how much he means to me, how much I love him.  I know it sounds sappy as hell, but he will truly be with me for the rest of my life.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: I will give you one guess lmao.  I mean, it’s Cas, it’s always been Cas.  I love their married energy, I love the way they will literally use their last breaths to sass each other.  I love the random things that just make me go ????????  (”Not every hookup’s perfect”, the mixtape, “And you’re gonna storm in righttttt now”, “what broke the connection?” “I’m not leaving here without you” THE PRAYER?????). I also love that Dean shows him movies and gets upset if he doesn’t remember them.  I love Endverse, and how Ben Edlund basically said “yeah they fuck in the Apocalypse lmao.”  The way they look at each other literally makes me nauseous sometimes.  That profound bond is something else, and I’ve had my clown paint on since 15x01 aired lmao.

NOT Cas related, I really don’t mind Lisa (my hatred of anyone that wasn’t Cas as a teenager was born of hmmmmmm my own self hatred), I think she was exactly what Dean needed, she was a way to get out of the life, but it still wasn’t something he could ever escape.  I’ve always loved the way she listens to him, the way she tries to understand a world that she really can’t wrap her head around.  I also love how good of a mom she is.  Also Cassie, listen I know we only got that girl for one episode but I’ve been in love w her ever since.  And of course, my boy Lee.  Y’all wanna talk chemistry?  I haven’t seen Dean have that kind of chemistry with anyone other than Cas.  Also I’m just extremely partial to everything in that ep bc ya know.....canon bi Dean for me so I’m just a little bit in love with them and their ultra tragic backstory.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Sam or Benny.  I already talked about him and Sam a little bit here, but I just love those two codependent bitches so much.  They will literally sacrifice anything for each other (Dean literally walked away from a normal life because of Sam) and I am soft for them.  BENNY.  My boy, that Southern bastard who I would gladly die for.  He and Dean have such fratbro energy, they are so funny together, so at ease with each other.  I LOVED S8 Purgatory, like LOVED it, and I still wish they had had the budget to like make Ty a permanent recurring character, because it was just so easy for he and Dean to be together.  They had a bond that I don’t think anyone else (Sam and Cas) understood, and I still wish I could watch a whole season of them in Purgatory, how their relationship went from grudging trust to “I would die for you in a heartbeat”

My unpopular opinion about this character: a LOT of this boy’s problems would be solved if he talked about his trauma.  He doesn’t really talk about anything he’s been through with anyone, not even Sam, and his drinking isn’t a funny coping mechanism, it’s dangerous and I wish he’d stop doing it.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: also should’ve punched John in the face lmao.  Also there are just a lot of softer moments that I know happened offscreen that I wish we could have seen.  Like I don’t ~care~ if it’s boring I want to see Dean make Sam chicken soup when he’s sick and teach Jack about mechanics and watch movies in his bedroom with Cas!  What are Dean’s favorite romcoms????  What was on the MIXTAPE??????  These are all things I would pay millions of dollars to see.

Link to OG post

Ask me character opinions!!

#dean #spn #lilly answers #anonymous #thanks for asking this bc im assuming you knew it was going to be a book #i have a lot of feelings about him #dean winchester #supernatural

[modestmuses-a]

@ghoulixsh​​ said: “☿”

mun asks | accepting

☿ :  A trope you dislike?

//hello, first of all, i’m so sorry it took me so long to answer this.

second of all, this is gonna be a super unpopular opinion, and i don’t plan on being particularly nice about it, so if you don’t like people shitting on things you personally like, this may not be the ask for you to read.

(but disclaimer that i don’t have anything against people who are a fan of this trope.)

so... lately, in the rpc, there has been a certain character trope on the rise, and it is... gangly, awkward, clumsy, socially inept, incompetent, “adorkable,” nerdy lads.  and i ain’t about it!!  ian lightfoot, that kid from spies in disguise whose name i can’t be assed to remember.  william?  walter?  wilton?  hell if i know, and more importantly, hell if i care.

basically the tom holland characters of the animated world, i hate them!  i’m already sick of them.  the “precious son uwu” BAIT trope.

their clumsiness and ineptitude is supposed to be ~cute~ and ~endearing~, but it just grates on my only nerve.  and the characters don’t even have much personality outside of the awkward “h-hi, um, s-s-s-sorry i b-bumped into you” bullshit.

nerdy characters on their own are fine.  i just hate when nerdy characters don’t like... have anything going for them outside of being a nerd and they don’t really stand for anything.  they just sit there, wringing their hands, being all awkward and anxious and generally useless in every conceivable way.

like... nerd characters i like...  sheldon from my life as a teenage robot, who is also socially inept, but it’s never played off as an endearing quality.  his social ineptitude makes other people UNCOMFORTABLE, extremely so.  but he has other great qualities about him, like the fact that he’s not afraid to stand up to bullies and can and will tell them exactly what he thinks of them.

i was telling my coworker that sheldon would be like “hey! stop bullying! >:(” before he got shoved in a locker.  meanwhile, ian lightfoot would just take his locker shoving like a little bitch.

ekko, too, loves science and inventing and other “nerdy” activities.  but it’s not the crux of his personality, and he can at least hold a conversation without tripping over himself every other sentence, god-fucking-DAMN.  he also has reasons for being into his nerdy shit - 1) he was raised in zaun, which is a city that highly values scientific progress, and 2) he values science as a means to help people, to improve lives, which is the MAIN thing about his character.  he doesn’t keep his head down and try to stay out of people’s way - he gets out there and he helps.

but god, yeah, if i have to deal with one more stuttering mess of a “precious son uwu” nerd trope, i will pull my hair out strand by fucking strand.

#sad sappy sucker [ooc] #ghoulixsh #building nothing out of something [answered] #//again no shade to people who do enjoy these characters and like interacting with/writing them #//i just... don't LMAO #//i was going to make this a more general writing peeve #//it was going to be about male authors using female pain to justify their male anti-hero protag's rage #//but i haven't seen that much in the rpc #//so i decided to make it more rpc-related #//also i'm not here to start a debate so if you're going to come into my inbox like BUT THESE CHARACTERS ARE GOOD BECASE-- #//i don't... like... care? sorry lol #//i know you got your reasons for liking 'em and i got my reasons for disliking 'em #//and you liking 'em doesn't mean i have to #//and me disliking them doesn't mean that i'm gonna try to swing you over to my side #//so #//there

[ournewoverlords]

Booksmart slaps. It’s just a huge amount of fun to watch - the key word here for me is “good-natured”. This is a good-natured movie that teases and pokes fun at a lot of people - a lot of *kinds* of people, from the queer drama kids to the dopey jocks to the Gen Z overachieving feminist types who have pictures of Michelle Obama on their wall and can quote Susan B Anthony from memory - without ever making fun of anyone in a mean-spirited way, and highlighting that no one is ever “just” their tribe. The ending ties the story up neatly with a feel-good bow about how no one is really what they seem on the surface, especially not in high school, when everyone’s trying so hard to be invulnerable… which also means they can’t be *seen*. There’s a lot of great character work here that I think could’ve been fleshed out even more (the 1 hour 45 min runtime feels shockingly short in the day and age of Endgame) but still feels natural and sincere, and the huge array of secondary characters - real characters, not just insert-famous-cameos - gives this movie not just humor but so much life and buoyancy.

(Warning: light spoilers beneath cut)

What keeps it from reaching the top tier for me, though, is that it somehow still feels like something I’ve seen before, even though the window dressing is so different. It’s definitely rare to see female best-friendship displayed so frankly, genuinely, and *hilariously* on the big screen, and I can’t remember another movie where the nerdy valedictorian is a boss and knows it, not to mention one where one of them is a lesbian (my young baby lesbian Amy!! protect that cinnamon roll), but the story of two blood-sworn, childhood-, everything-friends reaching the last chapter of their adolescence together in fun and games and boozy celebration, all while the fear of how they’ll face the great unknown without the other is this silent undercurrent churning beneath… that feels familiar to me? That doesn’t keep me from loving this particular theme, because it IS a great one, I just mean it’s not as original as Ladybird, so it lends itself to comparison more easily. 

Superbad, for instance. I actually kinda hate how every review (including the one linked here, which is totally in line with my sentiments) keeps calling this “the female Superbad”. Yes, it’s a coming-of-age comedy about two friends at the end of the senior year trying to go out with a bang together, and yes, it’s a little raunchy, and yes, it really is all about the friendship between the two main characters at its core… but the whole texture, color, and point of Booksmart are completely different. 

By texture, I mean that even as the two girls are the “heroes” of this quest, it’s still interested in the characters outside them, such that you really get the sense that they are their own people, with their own lives and inner life. In the briefest of screentimes you grasp instantly why someone like Molly would be attracted to easygoing jock Nick (but then connects to the hopelessly-messy-but-sweet Jared), and why Amy likes the skatergirl with the big toothy grin. The other kids and love interests aren’t just vessels for Molly and Amy’s own awakenings. In fact, some of them have their own troubles, and they’re all really pretty good kids.

It’s interested in the way that the two mains are, in their own way, not the most perfect people. How the world’s really not out to get them; in fact, they’re the ones who have to learn to fit into it. I talk more about this below, but this was the part I liked the most, because it feels particularly true to life in a way that I don’t think I’ve seen in many other coming-of-age narratives, much less light-hearted comedies.

Speaking of light-hearted, the whole tone of the humor is waay different from Superbad’s too. It’s funny as hell, which is probably the most important thing at the end of the day — there were a few scenes that had me and my entire theater howling — but amazingly for a coming-of-age comedy, I remember very few of the jokes being gross-out or sexual, or even all that cringe. Booksmart mines a lot of physical humor just in their sheer facial expressions (if a picture is a thousand words, Beanie Feldstein’s face does the work of a thousand punchlines), but it’s mostly the little throw-away lines and hilarious sketches (the attempted robbery in the car! Amy’s overly-well-meaning parents! everything GiGi and Jared do) that string everything together and carry the day. That’s not to say that there aren’t serious moments that are given due weight too — Amy under the water, submerged in that song is just an absolutely beautiful shot. 

It reminds me a little of Bo Burnham’s Eighth Grade, which I think is a more interesting comparison than Superbad here. Booksmart tries to capture some of that raw realness that Eighth Grade had, underneath all the silliness and humor; it is, in many ways, about how hard it is to be vulnerable to someone else, even (especially) the people you love. It pulls at a lot of strands and among them are the idea that this is what high school is really like, that to be honest all these boys (and girls!) who hold your heart in their clumsy, sweaty fingers will be like leaves in the wind years from now, that standing on the entrance to adulthood isn’t a physical change, it’s not about booze, or losing your virginity, or getting accepted by your peers. Becoming an adult is inner work, alright, but it’s also not work you can do on your own. Because it’s about how you treat yourself, but it’s about how you treat other people too. 

But I think where Eighth Grade really succeeds is this it has this kind of specificity to it — it really, really is about this awkward girl, and her lonely existence, and about being a girl who is becoming a woman in a certain context. And that specificity gives it a kind of honesty that rings painfully true to me. Booksmart — probably because it is trying to avoid stereotypes and do something entirely new here, which is totally commendable — almost feels a little too universal. It feels like you could replace Molly and Amy here with dudes, and it wouldn’t be a huge change in dynamics outside the pussy hats and Malalia worship, because these two are defined more by their identities as “overachieving party-pooping best-friend NERDS” than by being girls per se. These are two whipsmart dorks who are best friends, and happen to be female, rather than a portrayal of female best friendship per se. And the other kids treat them that way too: no one gives a shit Molly’s chubby or Amy’s a lesbian, they give a shit that they’re exasperating know-it-alls.

Which is REALLY refreshing. I’m being unfair here — it’s *because* it’s so rare to see female friendships or just girls in general depicted this way on screen that I think it doesn’t quite “fit” my own intuitions about real life. But I’m a weird case of someone who really struggled in high school, and definitely didn’t have friends much less deep ones like theirs, and I bet other women would recognize themselves in these two and their relationship much more. The frank vagina talk and the fact that Molly and Amy are actually really self-assured and even pretty damn well-liked are just super freakin’ cool anyways. In particular I LOVE the way they’re still dorky, in a way I so rarely see female characters allowed to be because female characters written by dudes tend to be so poised and “above” the main male protagonist (probably because the screenwriters are thinking back to their own high-school crushes, who must’ve seemed so mature and unattainable to a nerdy teenage boy). 

It goes back to what I said about this being an affectionate, feel-good movie where everyone turns out to be pretty decent in the end. It doesn’t set out to be much more than that, and I’m not sure if I wanted it to be, but I think it’s that fact they didn’t go all out that keeps it from being a 10/10 for me. It’s just very sweet and knowing and funny and always making sure to laugh with these oddball kids, but that same gentleness keeps it from being something great; it’s like you need some claws to expose something “real”.

It’s a little strange to me, for example, that the movie dishes out a lot of high-school tropes — all the kids are playful representatives of some stereotype — but doesn’t seem to have any real bullies, and happily accepts the two not-very-outcasted outcasts at the party with open arms. And the girls each get their heart crushed, but only for like five minutes before they (tbqh) each get an upgrade. Every Gen Z tribe gets represented — from the failing stoner who actually has an offer from Google to the misunderstood school slut to poor Jared, my sweet beautiful mess of an unloved richboy — in this kind of Glee grab-bag kinda way, but without Glee’s sense that what ties us all together is this fucking shared suffering called high school; Booksmart’s high school is more like a utopia where everyone wears what they want and gets to be quirky and different and much cooler than you think in their own individualistic way. (They even have Jessica Williams as a teacher! UGH, so jelly.)

There’s something that’s actually really subversive about this, because 1) no one’s a villain and 2) to the extent that Molly and Amy are unpopular, it’s kinda brought on by themselves. *They* were the ones who chose never to hang out with the other kids, because studying was more important. *They* are the ones who have to learn something. Molly was the one who judged everyone by the school they got into, even as the others never gave a shit about it. Amy came out two years ago, but the reason she’s never had a kiss isn’t so much because she’s a lesbian, but because she’s too timid and unassertive as a person. Molly’s character arc is discovering that she’s too freaking judgey and she needs to stop assuming she knows everything from the cover, Amy’s is to realize herself as her own person outside of the (admittedly powerful) centrifugal force of her best friend. 

Those are GREAT ideas for arcs, it’s just that the execution of them didn’t completely land for me — maybe because the jokes were competing so much with the serious bits for screentime, it had to scramble at the end for the moment of character growth. So it didn’t feel fully “earned” to me, even as it worked on the thematic level of truly seeing people when you aren’t blinded by your own assumptions. 

Still, it’s a really satisfying movie with a different take on a common trope, and packed with killer lines and secondary characters like Jared that are just so great (he’s one that feels especially on-point to me because I recognize one of my old classmates in him — a great kid, just… swimming through life in a different lane). The cameos by the adult actors — Jessica Williams, Lisa Kudrow, Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte — were predictably fantastic. In fact all the acting and casting was SO GOOD (I found out later that the casting director was the one who did Freaks and Geeks!). I’m impressed by Olivia Wilde in her directorial debut here, it’s clear that she has an ear for comedic beats and some of the shots were wonderful — in a lot of comedies the camera is just kinda static and it’s all talking heads, but here the angles, the POV shots, the longer takes that move in and out of sound add so much dynamism. Excited for what she does next.

#booksmart #booksmart spoiler #booksmart review #olivia wilde