#THANK YOU FOR ENABLING MY META ANON

[not-poignant]

Why doesn't Sebastian remember the stuff he said to Alex when they were younger? Does he really not remember, or is Alex reading it wrong? Also thank you for the chapter!! I'm not going to tell you how many times I reread them all before the next one

Oooo yes I can answer this!

So, let's be real, a lot of teenagers say a lot of insulting shit to other people and frankly just say it and don't remember a lot of it. The brain-to-mouth filter of adolescents in general is not great (which is awesome for having all of that play out in online spaces). I don't know many adults who, when they think about the things they said as a teenager, don't experience some moments of 'oh I maybe shouldn't have said that' and that's just the crap they remember.

(Y'all know it gets long, right?)

This is also especially true if you're insulting someone that you feel justified insulting (like a school bully, someone you've mentally cancelled, someone you hate, someone who rubs you the wrong way, someone who has just said terrible stuff to you so you feel permitted to say terrible stuff to them). Like, in primary school and high school, it's not like your internal set of ethics is necessarily hugely well-defined, and even very well-behaved children can step into accidental or intentional bullying and verbal insults when they feel angry. It's not like we're known for mature emotional regulation of our own anger, especially if you go into places where emotional literacy isn't super high.

Also, with memory formation, it's just incredibly normal to forget a lot of this stuff. Normal and necessary to just growing as a person.

But there's an extra component with Sebastian and Alex, which is that Sebastian was saying a lot of stuff that everyone thought, to the point where I don't even think he considered that he was a lot worse than everyone else about it (which he was, he was horribly verbally abusive towards Alex, and imho, was the worse bully out of the two of them by a long-shot). It wouldn't occur to Sebastian as a kid to think that he was wrong, for example, in calling Alex stupid. Everyone thought it, including Alex.

And finally, a big part of this puzzle is - as we've seen in the story overall - Alex is quite stoic. He prefers not to let people notice he's felt hurt by their words, and in fact, is quite good at pretending that nothing is affecting him at all. He of course learned this from growing up in a domestically violent household where it was dangerous for him to show nearly any emotions at all, but as someone who could be mean to Sebastian, it also made Alex seem like he was never being affected by Sebastian's words. And in that scenario, Sebastian would have gotten angrier and angrier, and more and more determined to say something that finally hurt him, not realising that the very first thing he said hurt, and that he's just said another 15 things that also really hurt him.

So some of Sebastian's memories formed around 'Alex isn't affected by almost everything I say' - and you know, why would you remember that? Alex's memories are radically different, because everything Sebastian said cut him to pieces, but the way he behaved made it seem like they didn't. That's Alex's survival skill, and frankly, Sebastian still really struggles with it, and he's not in the habit of seeing past it. Even now, it sort of takes him a moment to realise - more and more - that this side of Alex who appears unaffected and starts giving these single-word answers is covering for someone who is extremely vulnerable and wounded beneath that.

When Alex says 'it's just words' to dismiss what Sebastian says, after Sebastian has seen him come over depressed, clean silently, and then go to leave, and realises that Alex is like profoundly affected by what Mayor Lewis said to him, he takes a moment to be like 'wait, if he's that affected by what Mayor Lewis said, and now he's telling me it's 'just words' then...it can't be 'just words' at all.'

A lot of this stuff is really hard for Sebastian to process because it goes against every kind of fundamental thing that he's thought about Alex all his life.

So yeah, Sebastian really doesn't remember, he doesn't think of himself as that much of a bully, and certainly not a bad one, and he's still sort of piecing all of this together. One of the reasons he's so reluctant to come to a 'realisation' about Alex is first and foremost - it means Sebastian has to see how ugly his own behaviours were, and that's something a lot of people don't want to see in themselves. So we have this contrasting narrative, as Alex the person who consistently is like 'I bullied you terribly and I deserve bad things' and Sebastian who consistently is like 'I was bullied terribly but I've grown as a person but I'm not going to forget how you treated me either.'

The reality is different. They both bullied each other. Sebastian was a lot more aggressive and insidious about it and also had friends who backed him up (leading to 3-against-1 scenarios all the time), because Alex seemed unaffected by anything Sebastian said. Alex doesn't deserve terrible things, Sebastian doesn't deserve terrible things, and they both have grown as people.

But Sebastian owes Alex some genuine apologies, and some real thought about the whole scenario, and Alex also needs to get better at talking about this stuff.

And y'know, that's why we're here, reading this fic. :D

#asks and answers #a stain that won't dissolve #thespectaclesofthor #sdv fic #sdv alex #sdv sebastian #sdv sebastian x alex #THANK YOU FOR ENABLING MY META ANON #i really think sebastian sort of starts down the road of realisation #he takes a few steps every time #but he's still early enough into this journey #that he can run back to his 'safe zones' when he needs to #because his realisation #will threaten his perception of himself and his identity as like #'teenage nerd who was unpopular and bullied' #versus #'teenager nerd who was *popular* and *also a bully*'

[post-it-notes7]

In regards to the GSA’s split, it seems like there was a single event which made everyone scatter and believe that the others had died So... what happened?

Haha, thank you for enabling my rambles, anon.

Essentially, Nightmare organized an ambush on a galactic scale, and sent it down upon the GSA all at once, aiming to wipe them from existence (something very similar to the scene in the eng anime opening, where hordes of demon beasts are approaching from the sky).

Nightmare didn't stage an attack against just the GSA's current base of operations though, he went after every base, star, and planet the GSA had connections to, aiming for complete annihilation in one fell swoop. The locations of all of these was strongly believed to be shared to him by Yamikage, who had disappeared months prior, alongside several of the records locked away in the GSA's archives.

It started without warning, and when the GSA was struck, they fought back, and they fought hard.

And they were losing. The sheer number of demon beasts was too overwhelming. Troops were falling left and right, star warriors were being targeted above all else.

In a last resort, Arthur ordered an evacuation. It was chaos.

Starships were followed, chased, and shot down. Those that escaped were flung to the far corners of the galaxy in ships much like Kirby's, sent into a slumber so deep they'd be mistaken for dead by any demon beasts that passed them by. This is how Dragato and Arthur both survived, each shoved into ships despite their protests and put to sleep; both had been planning to go down fighting to buy time for others to escape. They landed at opposite ends of the galaxy, long after the fight had ended.

Falspar and Nonsurat were part of the last to flee. They crashed-landed on the same planet after being hunted down and knocked out of the sky.

Meta Knight was the last one to remain. He fought until he couldn't any longer, until he passed out, and when he came to there was just... Nothing. In a single day the GSA had been torn apart by Nightmare, and in the following months MK spent searching, he found nothing. No survivors. No star warriors. Not a whisper of the GSA anywhere.

While it's likely that there were more who escaped than just Arthur, Nonsurat, Falspar, Dragato, and MK (Kit Cosmos too, though he had been MIA months before the ambush), the remains of the GSA had been throughly scattered, and Nightmare had sent a clear message to any and all that might oppose him again. He would wipe from existence with the wave of a hand, without so much as showing up to watch.

The choice became either to cut all ties to the GSA that once was and remain hidden, or face NME's wrath.

And so, Meta Knight began planning.

#post's rambles #galaxy soldier army #kirby right back at ya #this is what we call a real nightmare #all the orbs need a vacation #if anyone sees yamikage again they'll do more than throw hands

[michelleelizabethtanner]

Girl I love all your analysis and meta and commentary, here, in the comments on AO3, everywhere! I wish you had been on Tumblr in the GG heyday when a lot more discussion was happening. Since you weren’t, what’s YOUR fave Brio headcanon? Top 5 Brio and/or show moments for you? Opinions/rankings on Annie’s love interests? Give it all to me if you wanna!!!

Anon, that is so sweet! Thank you so much! ❤️ The validation for someone who loves to hear herself talk. Haha! The way I love Brio and every unspoken thing between them. I could talk for hours. And so funny because in the show’s heyday I was such a passive watcher. It was the pandemic that really escalated my fixation and fandom participation. I know I missed so much fun involvement. But really though, I can’t believe how active and committed this fandom still is, over a year after cancelation. Once Brio get their hooks in you they have you forever, I guess.

I think if I had to pick my favorite headcanon (there are so many!), it would be about this smurfing scene.

I was absolutely obsessed with this whole scene for a while there! The way Rio is just sitting out there. Not texting her, not calling her. Just sitting there in the dark. She only saw him because he flashed his brights at her when she was taking trash out. So by all presumptions he’d been there a while. And when she asked him what he’s doing he said, “Just thinking.” Oh, you’re thinking? What are you thinking about, Rio? Sitting alone in the dark outside your gf’s house. 🤡

The headcanon is that s4 finally started to show us glimpses of brooding Rio, and in this particular moment he was sitting in his car, regretting all his life choices. This came on the heels of one of his first vulnerable moments – “Kinda like being almost pregnant,” when he touched the wet money. He showed his hurt in that moment and I think that hurt continued to show in this smurfing scene. He’d been all in his head out there all alone. Maybe hating himself, maybe hating her. Maybe wondering why he keeps fucking with her at all. Wondering why he even cares that he took all her stuff but she didn’t even care and just bought new stuff with HIS money, and was inside with her husband who she kept enabling despite him being a terrible person. Rio didn’t know exactly how he was terrible. Just that he was. And on top of all that, she was in there thinking about what wonderful people she and her dumbass husband are, and thinking how Rio’s a bad person while Rio himself is outside her house fixating on her entitled ass and helping her and trying to think of ways to divert heat off her while she’s probably plotting to kill him or jail him or whatever it is she decided to plot next. Just that turmoil in his head, I’m convinced he was fidgeting his beautiful little fingers and brooding about Beth.

And then she came outside and he flagged her down because he just couldn’t help himself and she acted so put out by his presence like usual.

“Just thinking.” About you.

“You’d rather I do it inside?” Where you’re hiding your true self as if you’re better than me. As if you deserve my kindness. As if you deserve my money. As if you aren’t a conniving bitch who’d kill me if she could and take everything I have, take a father from his son and not blink an eye.

“How’s Dean?” You had enough yet? Has he fucked someone else yet? You like how he makes you feel? How he has no idea who you are? Hates who you are. Wants you back barefoot and pregnant, serving him. But you want him, huh? Wanna spend my money on him? Let him have rule of the kingdom I made? Get me out of the way so you can ruin everything I created? For who? For you? Or for him?

The way he looked at her and the way she didn’t even see how he looked at her in this scene. The way she slinked down in her seat when Dean came outside and Rio watched her with all that self-hating resentment he felt for her. Yeah, he needed something from her. And yeah, he threatened her to get his way. But it cost him something, too. The way this man has no idea how to extricate himself from toxic situations. He almost feels safe in them. Chaos is familiar to victims of abuse so he seeks it out because he doesn’t know how to be without it. And Beth is nothing but chaos.

I appreciate the ask! I can do more of these. There are so many moments between them that are so laden with meaning that’s unspoken and unacknowledged. I just love them. These emotionally stunted little babies with all their big feelings. 🥰🥰🥰

All of Annie’s love interests are tied at 0/10 wouldn’t recommend. I could do a whole separate TED talk on Annie and her problems. 😂

Top 5 moments:

1. Bathroom scene

2. Family dinner (his hand on her back omg!!!)

3. “That’s what I am? Work?” (The huuuuurttttt!)

4. Smurfing scene (poor Rio)

5. “If you need something, darlin’…” (lmao, Rio! You just spent two seasons terrorizing her. And now you’re here with that sparkle in your eye telling her she should have known she’s your favorite little baby and you’ll do anything for her. 😂)

#asks #headcanon thursday #headcanon #brio #beth x rio #good girls nbc #rio needs therapy #annie is a mess #top five #favorite moments

[ingravinoveritas]

While I'm wary to an extent of season 3 potentially ruining the whole Staged thing (I always worry when things I liked get sequels), I disagree that the M/D chemistry was the only thing keeping it afloat. I was actually struck with how clever & well made it was, & genuinely funny. I can't remember any current 'comedy' thing that made such an impression on me exactly because of how it was written. So I don't agree with your view (as it seems) of Simon as some sort of leech/creative nothing.

Hi, Anon! Well thank you for writing in to share your thoughts. I do appreciate it very much, and am glad to hear other points of view.

So, it seems that I may not have been completely clear in what I was trying to convey in this post, with my thoughts about the news of season 3. I don’t think that Simon is a creative nothing, not at all. I do, however, think Staged was something that came out of a very specific set of circumstances. It’s important for us to remember that, as well as the fact that there was a lot of privilege within those circumstances that enabled the show to be made.

The world had already changed after the first series came out, and has now changed even more with the impending release of the third series. Michael and David are out of their homes, busy working. It is difficult then, in my opinion, to recreate that moment in time, especially when the limits were already being pushed with the second series. The guest stars in S2 were evidence of that, as it seemed like Simon was trying to fill the airtime by distracting from what was missing, and so I do worry that it will be a similar situation in the third season.

That is not to say that the writing was or is all terrible. Far from it, in fact! There were plenty of lines in both seasons 1 and 2 that made me laugh out loud, particularly because of how Michael and David delivered them and played off each other. The cleverness of the writing shone because of them and their reactions to some very silly situations. But whenever they weren’t on screen, the show would drag.

It was noticeable in the first season, and then extremely apparent in the second series. But what really threw it into sharp relief was how awkward the scenes were with the women (Georgia/AL/Lucy), though it’s anyone’s guess whether that was due to the acting (of one person in particular) or the writing. Simon got self-referential as well by having a scene where the women poke fun at his writing skills...but it doesn’t excuse the fact that he cannot write for female characters, and did not seem to know what to do when Michael and David weren’t on screen.

(I will actually give Simon a bit of credit, to that end, because Staged is obviously his Michael/David fanfic, and the fact that he doesn’t seem really committed to including Georgia and AL in it just makes him one of us. Haha.)

But yes...I feel like the limits of the show were already really pushed with the second series. It will be difficult to not rehash material from the first two seasons--which has already started with the promo photo of AL and GT having Georgia wearing socks with AL’s “happy breasts” drawing on it--and there is level of meta that just becomes cringey and annoying instead of funny after a while. I think we were on our way there with S2 and now may fully be there with S3.

Ultimately, I think Staged did fill a void when there was no other comedy being produced, and it did help many of us to cope with an unprecedented time in our living history. But keeping it going also runs the risk of making the show a continual reminder of a period in time that most people would like to forget. (I always think of  Michael in particular, who really seemed to be in a place of depression two years ago that was only alleviated when he was filming with David.)

I love that people have enjoyed and are enjoying the show so much, by all means. But I still think it’s important to look at Staged critically and to think about what it was that made it work--the writing, and Michael and David to bring that writing to life.

I hope this helps to explain my position better, Anon. Thanks for writing in! x

#anonymous #reply post #staged #or 'Brokeback Mount Him' which is what I am referring to Staged as from here on out #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #simon evans #i very much appreciate Simon for giving us more of Michael and David together in the first place #but i just feel that their chemistry could be better served in something else #the eternal optimist in me is hoping for the best #so we'll see what happens #staged 3 #discourse

[number5theboy]

Top 5 gif sets you made for TUA? (btw I love reading your metas, it inspires me to write ramblings of my own)

Thank you, Anon! I'm glad my ramblings inspire your ramblings, I do think writing one's thoughts down trying to make them understandable to others is a really productive way of sorting out said thoughts the meta on the whole founder stuff is coming, I swear, I just keep re-evaluating and re-thinking the entire thing, the thoughts are many and they are jumbled

Also that top 5 is difficult as hell, I tried, but I did have to cheat on these, just a little bit.

I. Comic-inspired Gifsets

I don't know how this came to be, but these are very much my favourite sets I've made, connected by nothing but the red thread of the comics being the basis for them. They're three very different gifsets where I tried different and new things, and I love all three of them dearly.

Comic Five & Show Five: Maybe this is the ultimate gifset for this blog. A parallels gifset that looks into mannerisms and compares them. I really do love this gifset, inspired by a post by an art blog that is sadly no longer active. I really do think that the casting for Five is so incredibly spot-on despite the showrunners not letting the kid go more comic-Five even though he clearly wants to, and it was fun to make that point in images. It was also fun to adjust the colouring of the show to the comics, and I just think it came out great.

If the show won't give me Allison & Five interacting, I will do it myself: The point still stands. Five and Allison are THE sibling dynamic in the comics, to me, their relationship is very interesting to me, it's just two chaotic neutral tending towards chaotic evil people enabling each other, and they're great. So I had a lot of fun trying to find scenes that I could feasibly make look like they were the same and that would sync up with dialogue I adapted from the comics. I am very happy with the result, all things considered.

The Gazelle Speech™: I think this is my most experimental gifset, the one that I made myself push outside of my comfort zone the most, making big gifs and typography and blending, to try and do justice to the madness of the gazelle speech from the comics, and sync it to imagery from the show. It drove me up the walls, and by the end I was just happy to have it done, and then it did what I expected, which is to gather very few notes, but looking back, it's a gifset I'm very proud of this.

II. Parallels

I do feel like gifsets with parallels are kind of my thing, they're a staple on this blog, because I like consistency, and I like red threads throughout stories and characterisations, so I gravitate towards these.

Viktor & Five / Five & Reginald: These were very similar, process-wise, in that they were INCREDIBLY easy for me to make. I spotted most parallels during watching, and it was just a thing of writing them out and finding the footage to really hammer my points home. I love it when characters that are perceived very differently have many similarities, it's great and gets me every time, and people really took to both of these gifsets, albeit in very different ways that were both massively satisfying ('op i love this' vs. 'op i hate this').

Five smiling threateningly vs. Five smiling gently: I genuinely think this is the easiest gifset I've ever made. I have said this so many times before, but I love Aidan Gallagher's performance as Five, and I especially love how consistent he is across seasons in his physical acting, the little ticks and mannerisms of the character one picks up one if one gifs one character as much as I've giffed Five in the last two years. And this is a little appreciation post for that, the way his smile differs drastically depending on the intention behind it. So this was just me picking up these moments and putting them together, and it's a gifset that makes me smile whenever it pops back up into my notifications.

Common family traits in the powers: This was super fun to make and probably needs amends after Season 3, but I liked scoping out similarities in how the siblings' powers present, it was fun to to, and I really, really love the look of how this gifset came out in the end, it's very neat and clear.

III. 567 Gifsets

"You made me a killer! You were always a killer.": I believe this is my first gifset that became kind of iconic, that I really remember resonating with people. It's again something with my knack for parallels, but nobody had ever done this comparison between the high number Hargreeves before, and people really liked it in one of those really painful, 'fuck you op for making this it's so good' ways. I'm still really proud of this one.

Viktor & the brothers that came back to him: I have a lot of thoughts on Viktor and helplessness about both Five's disappearance and Ben's death, and I again noticed some parallels between the two situations. I specifically wanted to include the parallel of Viktor reaching out to Five to take care of his wounds after he mercilessly slaughtered a bunch of people and Ben reaching out to hold Viktor's hands as he is spiralling and killing FBI people. Something about a sibling loving you enough to reach out in tenderness even at your worst. Something something.

"A monster is not such a terrible thing to be.": Honestly another recreation of the first gifset, some more paralleling. As the two gifsets above prove, I really like to think about the 567 and how they were slipping, how they were toeing the line between gentleness and monstrosity. Out of these three, this is the one I like the look of the most, it turned out very pretty with the typography and the grain and the red/blue colour scheme.

IV. Klaus & Viktor

"Who I am is not a disease.": I'm just really proud of the typography and blending and choice of scenes for this gifset. It's on the list to get a remake to include Viktor coming out, but even still, I really do love what I made here. Shout-out to the lovely anon that requested this, it was a joy to fulfill.

V. Diego & Luther

"Wanna know what's different this time? You got me.": This was full-on fueled by these two becoming friends in Season 2, and I really like the concept I came up with, taking the colour-coding from their clothing in S2 and try and mostly succeed to incorporate it into a gifset. Particularly the colour-coded typography against black and white gifs showing their progress that brackets the gifset I really love, I thought it was a nice touch.

#Replies #Anonymous

[regenderate]

wait i just realized that was posted 5 hours ago. context

the funniest thing is that i literally got it immediately no context necessary... the second you're in my inbox like "is it gay coded" i do have the meta link queued up and ready to go. thank you for enabling my brain rot anon <3

#lifeblogs

[ajokeformur-ray]

arthur vs eddie anon here. i am happy you like my thoughts hihi

though the eddie thoughts i mostly have from another eddie blog who has great meta for chrissie as well but i added the arthur thoughts and my own though i dont feel comfortable taking credit for the eddie side, so i wouldnt go so far and call myself galaxy brain. maybe a sun system brain haha

though here more thoughts, this time all my own: go back one generation and look at penny vs wayne. both having it hard raising an abused/traumatised kid alone while being poor, working shifts - but we see arthur gives up everything of space, his bed, all for penny. but wayne gives up the only room and the only real bed for eddie and sleeps on a fold out bed in the living-room. eddie has space to grow and find himself, his own person. arthur was suffocated from the start.

and even when the killings happen we see the contrast: arthur killed the three men and penny doesnt know hes the killer but immediately judges the killer and thus arthur. when chrissy is found dead in the munson trailer and everything points at eddie being the killer wayne knows right away eddie is innocent. -> penny doesnt know arthur enough to tell he did it while nothing points at him. wayne knows eddie so well he immediately knows eddie is not the killer even though everything points that he is.

regarding what you said about choices: penny was the one never giving arthur the choice while wayne was the one enabling eddies choices

and one other thing for the big differences. arthus is a wolf in a sheeps coat and eddie is the sheep in a wolfs coat. i found that metaphor fitting for eddie because he keeps talking about lost little sheep

thank u for listening to my little ramblings <3

I adore your thoughts!!! I was worried I'd disappointed you with my lacklustre responses but holy shit I'm just... almost excited?? No, I am excited to be discussing these characters and their differences with you! I'd always thought they had a lot of similarities and differences but I hadn't taken the time to sit down and think about it and hhhhhh this is some good food!!!😍💗

A sun system brain for SURE! There's so much good meta out there about Eddie (and all the other ST characters of course, but he gets a special mention since he's the topic of conversation) and over the years I've read some amazing Arthur takes, too!

YES YES YES omgggg ~ I agree so hard!!! Arthur gave Penny everything and for what??? He's a natural caretaker but I have to wonder how much of that is his caring nature as part of his personality, and how much of it was because he was groomed from a young age to be the man of the house (the whole pseudo-husband thing still turns my stomach🤢). Penny kept Arthur stuck in that apartment; he's a high school dropout from fifteen (I think that's tenth grade? I'm not familiar with the US education system) and clearly had to work any job he could get to support the two of them. I also wonder how dependent she actually had to be on him because he's gone long hours, working 59 - 60 hour weeks and so Penny would have been left all on her for all that time but she's usually comfy and cosy when he comes home so she must be able to do things herself. She's a victim too and what happened to her in relation to Wayne and then further on in her arc is all heart-breaking, but I wonder about the reality of it a lot. Arthur was suffocated by the woman who was meant to take good care of him and raise him (not to mention how she ended up being allowed to keep Arthur by the social work side of things given how the paperwork shows she was lobotomised and needed medications etc. etc. is sketchy as fuck too).

Whereas Wayne did everything the right way - he chose to take Eddie in, he gave him space and clearly encouraged heavily everything Eddie wanted; I have no doubt that he pulled extra shifts to make sure Eddie could afford patches, materials for his clothes and posters and the Corroded Coffin flag, to make sure Eddie could eat, and I would put real money on Wayne being the one who bought Eddie the van, too! Wayne gave everything up for his boy, his boy, and was a real parent to Eddie. Eddie flourished and thrived under Wayne's care, and indeed was protected by him a great deal. Their dynamic is one of my favourites and I write about it quite often over on my Eddie blog.

Wayne knew Eddie; trusted his boy, knew him better than anyone else in Hawkins (except Hellfire, but Hellfire didn't live with Eddie and Wayne did, so Wayne saw more of Eddie than anyone else), and defended Eddie time and again from the entire fucking town. Penny either wouldn't or couldn't defend Arthur; it's implied she's at least complicit in the abuse he suffered at the hands of her boyfriend at the time when Arthur was a child, whereas Wayne was probably the one who took Eddie in to protect him from the parental abuse he suffered (this was confirmed by Joel, the actor who played Wayne, in a recent interview which I can send you the GIFsets to if you're interested) and did everything he could to give Eddie a better life even though he was also struggling in Hawkins.

The contrast is just... heartbreaking, honestly. Can you imagine if Arthur had been taken in by someone like Wayne?😭

YOU'RE SO SO RIGHT ON THE WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING THING OMLLLL😍😍😍😍😍

Thank you thank you thank you thank you for sharing your thoughts with me oml I am having so much fun talking about two of my three loves!!! These two characters are so interesting and multi-layered and I'm thriving hhhhhh💗💗💗💗 also peep at your tag so you can find again if you want to!

#arthur vs eddie nonnie #arthur fleck #joker 2019 #eddie munson #stranger things

[swanqueensalad]

ignore this if it’s too much, but since you’re in a sad regina meta mood, what are your thoughts on the time she fell off her castle balcony?

ooooh anon you do know how to keep my sad regina meta mood alive! thanks for the ask, i am always too willing to share my sad regina thoughts.

in fact, this is most likely going to be very long and rambly and off topic because i have Too Many sad regina thoughts

(obviously, this post will contain discussion of suicide/suicidal ideation and all of the other stuff that goes with regina's trauma so if any of that will trigger you please don't read!)

so first of all, i think the context is super important - i know obviously the evil queen was regina at her absolute worst and lowest point, but i do think young regina pre-evil queen was actually the darkest and hardest part of her life, and it's one the ouat writers seemed to consistently hint at but almost be afraid to really delve into too much? but i for one find it incredibly interesting.

(just saying, the ouat writers were cowards. but also i do understand that a fairytale show on abc couldn't really go too dark.)

you have this very young girl - we know she got married at 18 and very little seems to have actually changed for her at this point (she is still not really seen as a Queen, she's even wearing the same dress she wore before her wedding) so i'd put her at 19/20 at the very OLDEST in this specific episode - who has no agency and no allies, apart from the weak-willed father that enabled all her abuse and rumplestiltskin, the literal dark one, who is grooming and manipulating her into becoming so mentally fucked up she will cast his curse for him.

she has nobody. and she is still pretty traumatised from all her childhood abuse and her grief and trauma over literally watching her mother murder the love of her life - none of which she has ever had the space or support to process.

and now she is literally trapped in this big empty castle that doesn't belong to her, married to a man visibly the same age as her father who is cold towards her at Best, forced to 'mother' a girl maybe 8 years younger than her (who is intrinsically tied up in all said suffering and trauma).

all she has is the literal dark one who is grooming her for his own gain. all she has is this magic, which gives her a sense of control and power she has literally never had before in her life, but also still makes her terrified that she'll lose control/end up like her mother.

regina is stuck in this state for a long, long time. all she ever wanted was to be free and loved, and she has become stuck in the opposite of those in every way. she is miserable and alone, trapped in a seemingly never ending cycle of suffering.

(side note: anyone who tries to tell me leopold didn't lay a hand on her is kidding themselves. old men don't marry pretty eighteen year old girls for their conversation. especially not when they are visibly distressed by the proposal. if he wanted a 'mother' for snow, well, snow's more age-appropriate maid seemed to be doing a good job at that anyway, and even if it had to be regina, he could have just brought her to court as a lady in waiting or something - he did not have to marry her. he chose to. no apologies for shitty men on My blog thank u v much)

so anyway

poor lost regina at this point is so torn - she wants to not hurt people (except maybe snow) and when rumple taunts her about the darkness not stopping until it's finished devouring her, she is visibly upset and panicked, wanting to run away. but of course, she has nowhere to go and nobody to help her. she both wants and dreads seeing rumple's plans for her through.

so i think, honestly, it's not too much of a stretch to say she had probably already had some harmful thoughts about herself. about an escape from all of it.

and that conversation with rumple really rattles her - he knew exactly how to get under her skin and make her need him even more - and the way she storms right onto her balcony afterwards shows just how emotional she really is.

when she starts hitting the railings, i don't think she was actively intending to jump/fall, she's just momentarily lost in all that pain and rage.

however. in that moment, i don't think she cared much either way. the railing started coming loose, and she kept hitting it. she didn't make any move to step back. so while i don't think she was actively trying to hurt herself, i think she didn't care much if it happened anyway.

and then only when tink saves her does regina realise what she did and how careless she was about it, which then freaks her out.

(and is then why she's so insistent the rest of the episode that she fell - and also why perceptive tink is having none of it - 'right. you... fell.')

#anyway sorry this is depressing lol but it's literally in the ask #and thanks anon #u know i love to get in my sad regina feelings #regina mills meta #regina mills #young regina

[addictedtostorytelling]

I love your metas and everything you write about csi. You're amazing

I was re watching csi and I always loved the relationship of Catherine and Sara, I mean they were the only women on the show and I think they'd deserved more screen time and more scenes together. What do you think they talked when Catherine took Sara for a beer in the end of 'crash and burn' ? Do you think Sara cried in front of Cath? Do you think they somehow bond? I really liked to know your thoughts on this.

hi, anon!

thank you for your kind words! i’m so glad you enjoy my stuff. ❤

so i don't think sara cries in front of catherine because, honestly, she never cares enough about hank to cry over him.

she's more humiliated that he duped her than sad about losing him, tbh; she isn't heartbroken because she never actually loves him.

rather, i think what happens is that they have the traditional breakup “postgame” discussion, during the course of which sara expresses some embarrassment that hank could have this whole other life she didn't even know about (“some csi i am, huh? i missed all the clues”), and catherine reassures her that the reason she was blind to what he was doing isn't because she was stupid but because she was trusting (“that's how it was for me with ed. i can tell you firsthand: when you don't cheat, you don't suspect”).

still, sara is concerned that maybe there's something wrong with her, because she was perfectly contented having this very “arm's length” relationship with hank, practically enabling his behavior (“i mean, there were warning signs, and i ignored them all. i made it so easy for him because i was fine with the way things were, with us only seeing each other a few times a week—if that—and always at my place, never really committing to anything, you know? i guess i liked that things never got any more serious, no matter how long we were together. isn't that fucked up? after a whole year. who's like that?”).

at this point, catherine can tell that the conversation is taking a turn toward the serious—not in the sense that sara is all that upset over hank but in the sense that she's upset with herself and questioning all of her life's choices—so she offers her best consolation, telling sara that if she was okay keeping things so casual with hank, it must’ve been because her heart wasn’t ever really in it.

"when it's someone you actually care about, you'll want more—you'll want to share your life," catherine offers, shrugging.

sara, glassy-eyed, nods, "yeah," not thinking of hank at all anymore.

if she ever was.

to lighten the mood, catherine is like, “hank was a jerk. lots of guys are. but they are good for one thing,” and gestures to some dudebros sitting at the other end of the bar, whom she then (masterfully) flirts with in order to get them to buy her and sara some drinks.

they end up playing pool with said dudebros, an activity that sara is kind of hilariously awful at, which is something that catherine (teasingly) gives her a hard time about, because “shouldn't a physics major be better at this game?”

they end up staying at the bar through till happy hour, getting buzzed but not super drunk. the dudebros they're hanging out with try to pick them up, but they decline, saying they have to work that night.

all in all, things end on a brighter note than they began on, sara cheered (for the moment at least).

when catherine drops her off back at the crime lab so she can pick up her car and go home, she leans her head out the door after her and calls out, "hey, sara?"

when sara turns and looks.

catherine considers saying something about how if she’s ever with a guy who’s really worth it, then he’ll want to share her life, too, but, honestly, catherine isn’t sure she’s in a position to make those kinds of promises, given her own track record, or even if she really believes in that sort of thing herself, so she settles on a benediction she feels more certain of.

“you’ll be okay.”  

i don’t think they probably ever go out together again after that night or that they even start to regularly disclose to each other about their personal lives or anything (and particularly not as eventually sara starts dating grissom in secret), but i do think that that one experience they have together is an important first step in their relationship beginning to improve.

it marks the first time that catherine really thinks about sara as anything other than an entitled, obnoxious kid, realizing that she has this whole inner life that she’d previously not bothered to consider, and that sara experiences catherine’s compassionate side, getting some mentorship from her (albeit not of the professional variety).

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

#answered #anon #asks: csi #** #my headcanons #03x17 #let's talk shop #csiverse

[waterspoutskies]

Number 23 for the writing ask

Hello anon, thank you for the ask! 

Asks are from this fun little meta asks for writers post here!

23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest? 

Hmm... I will answer this in three parts, because I simply can’t not brag about my original works, my beloved children, my beautiful precious babies who I have never been a bad parent to ever I swear. 

The Second Universe series, which is sci-fi aliens craziness aimed at a higher middle grade young YA demographic, has been my primary project since I was 11. I’ll spare you the nitty gritty details- It’s old. It’s over a decade old. And I adore it. And nothing bad has ever happened to any of them. 

Now then, on to the LU business! (And a little bit of Four Swords, but only a little bit. One chapter.) 

The oldest published work- Beneath the Skin. April the 18th last year is when I created the document, and April 19th is when I shared it with the forever enabling @helianruby. What can you do? The first story I tried genuinely writing was the one where I promptly decided “You know how Four is my favorite Link? Yeah what if I murdered him before LU even started and made Shadow go in his place?” And then I wrote 17000 words of FSA from Shadow’s POV. 

Originally titled “I cannot believe I’ve done this,” Beneath the Skin beat out Guardian Wars, our BattleBots AU, by three days. 

The oldest unpublished- If my document organization is to be believed, it’s the one titled “I’ve really just decided to do this now” which is the central document for a grand scale project I’m tentatively calling “Once Upon.” In the project, I tried to affect a style a dear friend of mine uses in her introductions to her fairytales and write one for each of the boys’ adventures- This doubles as a way to give me a foundation to establish my personal writing canon for LU, and if I ever want to write a story focusing on one of the boys, I’ll have a place to start!

I appreciated that, anon! <3 whoever you are! 

#Question Paloma #Is anybody listening #You heard? No. #my writing #about my writing #ask game

[juhani]

I think about how well loved kira must've been by both his parents.... like aaagh!!!!

well anon i hate to disagree but </3 this is a perfect time to bombard you with my thoughts. i am sorry but here have it. tw for parental abuse, stabbing, death, typical kira stuff

directly from ronnie and i’s dms<3 hes my enabler. okay

-

[um okay general tw for abuse and stabbing and death in case<3 SO WHAT WE KNOW is that his parents were older when they had him, and they both passed when he was 21 within a short amount of time span of each other. he had already killed before they had died. jotaro mentions how the family was very close, but judging from everything we know and the context, it wasn't a good close, and kira didn't enjoy it. the neighbors also shared jotaro's sentiment.

we also know he developed his... hand fetish as a kid, so i would take that was a sort of escapism for him. a weird fucking one but something he used to get away from his parents and i wanted to specifically talk about his mother's abusive coddling. she was so overprotective of him and his father ignored it and pretended it never happened, and i think later in life when his father is in the Polaroid trying to help him that's a way of him trying to make up for letting his mother coddle him so much as a child. also whenever kira didn't get his way as a kid, he'd bite his nails so much they'd break. i think his mother would give him whatever he wanted.

i think that his mother was so honed in on protecting him because he was her only child and judging on how his parents were older, they could have adopted him but she could have also just had him late in her life which is entirely possible, but going off of having him late in her life, she probably was overjoyed to have a child and wanted to make sure nothing ever happened to him and probably struggled watching him grow up.

the attention from his mother so constantly, i think that was also a reason he kept striving for average, never going over the top. we know he's a very intelligent person, so it's very much calculated and as he got older he kept this way to not get noticed because of the murders, but i think it started out as a way to keep attention off of him because he didn't like that his mother would do it. he participated in competitions, and maybe he did enjoy those to a degree, but he kept under 3rd place because lets face it, if you're under 3rd place you won't get nearly as much attention as the top 3.

another thing is that his father had the arrow and before he died fucking... stabbed kira with it. we know it was after reimi's murder and a few others, so his father probably found out and did it. he would have been 18-21 when that happened. i think kira values killer queen for the fact she can help his 'quiet' life versus his gruesome method of what he had usually done before he got her (stabbing them in the back extremely severely), but i don't think he thanks his father for that at all. he believes that luck is on his side and i think that even if his father hadn't had done that with the arrow, kira would believe that he would have gotten his stand on his own. 

when kira kills hayato and starts to panic in the bathroom, yoshihiro, his dad, tells him that maybe he should leave morioh. kira gets extremely upset with him, telling him he will never leave the town and live his life in fear. so he obviously does not give a single shit about what his father thinks, and i don't think he really cares that he tried to 'protect' him from the other stand users in morioh. OK. kira childhood meta]

#if you disagree with me then thats fine but your loss... #yoshikage kira #kira yoshikage #jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #jojo's bizarre adventure #diamond is unbreakable #yeah all you guys are gonna see this one #asks #Anonymous #long post

[skullrock]

housekeepin

hi <3

since changing my url and having a few months of being a little slutty w my fandom content i wanted to get some feedback on what you’d like me to post! more writing? more gifs? more meta? more art history? more twin peaks? more st? less han talks posts? please lmk! this is ur experience as much as it is mine and i would love to hear what you’d like to see more of/what content you enjoy. my asks are open and anon should be enabled if u would prefer to send an ask, but you can also comment on this post!

from now on also i’m going to try to make my tags more cohesive by tagging characters and shows etc. if there’s anything specific u would like tagged please let me know!

thanks for staying w me for a year !!!!!!! my anniversary for this blog is april 11th i think which is rly crazy ... cannot believe i’ve been here this long. i always appreciate everyone’s support esp since i haven’t been writing as much! i love u all so so much and i’m so grateful for ur love and for hyping me up when i feel like shit. u are all genuinely my besties and i give u kiss. <3

#han talks

[jojotichakorn]

Dear Arthur (ehh! Archer 😳) and my fellow chevaliers,

Me and my notepad are back on our bs 💪, so let me try to respond to what was said before. (I hope my previous ask came through somehow.) Regardless of who celebrated any holidays, I just hope everybody joined in this gathering had a wonderful couple of days. ✨ I should warn you beforehand that this ask grew excessively long as well as excessively disorganised. 😬 So, keep that in mind. My apologies in advance for the chaos that is about to ensue. 🌪

First of all, dear Archer, I would like to direct my attention to you. My compatriots are known for their direct and sometimes blunt demeanour. Everything can be said here (as long as you’re within the constraints of common decency). But something that is nearly heard as often is “thank you.” After studying a foreign for 5+ years , I picked some of its cultural habits, including that touch of politeness and respect that comes with “please” and “thank you.” So without further ado, I would like to thank you, Archer. Over the course of the last month, I’ve grown attached to the network of anons you created here. (I like reaching out to them almost as much as I like reaching out to you. Although I have to admit most of our contact has been nothing if not contentious. 😉) You might scoff about it, claiming you aren’t needed anymore whenever I write to “new anon”, “star anon” or “unreliable anon”. But however you want to put it…in the end you are the linchpin that of slightly elaborate, very meta group chat. If you don’t publish all of our messy asks, and to some degree answer them, there would be no way for us to find each other. No Arthurian legend, no table of knights. So maybe the only conclusion we can draw is that you are in fact the Round Table. The one element that brings us together, and enables us from an equal distance; all on an equal footing. (Round tables don’t have a head, they don’t distinguish between table guests -> like every-(an)one is the same when they reach out to your blog. 🖤)

Talking about tables, yes unreliable anon, I was in fact referring to your quest for “tables to flip when ep 9 airs.” Not that ep. 9 wasn’t “table-turningly” intense ftr. Because it definitely was. I still haven’t recovered. 🥲

Before I head into battle with unreliable anon, I’ll briefly address my your other anons. New anon, I certainly saw your message. And what Archer said about me is right. That being said, I’m afraid I can’t reveal much else about my identity. At the moment, I’m duelling unreliable anon, while in pursuit of star anon. 🐎 And, as every fierce warrior knows, it is extremely dangerous to lift one’s helmet while in combat. So for now, I’ll remain shrouded in mystery. 🌫 Reliable anon, one of my more sympathetic correspondents, a VERY belated, yet VERY sincere happy birthday from me. 🙈 I hope you had an amazing day and that you were bestowed with gifts and grants. But most importantly: love and cuddles. 💚 I am still looking for my “fab maiden” (I don’t really care how “fair” she is; I am also open to handsome gallants or the fanciable humanoids of the forest 💗💜💙), but if she were as tender to me as PatPran is to each other, I would be a blessed earthling. Again, I would like to especially welcome virgo anon and lost anon to the table. In my quest for the big picture, I unfortunately overlooked the smaller contributions to discourse. For which I offer my humble apologies: it won’t happen again. Dear star anon, I hope my eager chase for your homestead hasn’t disheartened you too much. I only come with friendly fire. ✌️ And what would we do without our own minstrel, song rec anon? We would all be starving without your food for the soul! 🎶 You’re the real MVP! 💖

That leaves only one guest, I haven’t spoken properly to: unreliable anon, our tight-lipped talker. 🤐 I share your “wai-ryness” about the plot btw. And my mind is already filled with rationalisations. In line with my “tradition,” I’d like to drop an unpopular opinion now. ⚠️ I believe that how the plot deals with Wai (as well as his sudden and radical shift in behaviour) is part of the bigger synopsis, and will introduce a new source of tension buildup. In fact, I have an entire theory about this and about why Wai has the potential to be a very interesting character (from a narratology pov). If I Archer were to consent to this entirely unasked for crack theory, I wouldn’t mind sharing it. (I originally intended to post it on my own blog…but on second thought, I don’t really have the courage to do so. 🤫)

As for your identity, I’ll play my court cards close to my vest ehhh coat of mail for a while. 🃏 But I can reveal you might have given me a significant hint in your first sentence. (I guess those “crusaders” in our time and long after that were more successful than expected. 💀) Moreover, I fully agree with Archer here. You may be a burn the bottom at times (I’m not gladly opposed ⚔️), but we love your input here! ❤️‍🔥 And for you goes the same as for star anon and the others: don’t worry, I don’t have any relentless zeal to unmask and “out” anons. For me the challenge is simply to deduce where some(an-)one is from. 🤓 But it’s all friendly fire; if it rubs someone the wrong way, I’ll pack my saddlebags and aim for other horizons. 🧭

To return to you, Archer, I’ll evaluate what other (less quarrel inducing) topics I can introduce when I’ll talk to you again. 😅

~ operanon 🎼

P.S. I have a truce too. If you can guess my country correctly, I’ll offer up a valuable clue about the concept behind my anon identity. 👊

P.P.S. As far as I know, there is no group chat, right @ohmpatwat ? So patch yourself, unreliable anon, before Mordred smells blood. 😰

P.P.P.S. Not to brag, but I am fairly certain I’m the eldest in our fellowship. (Someone’s gotta do it. 🤷‍♀️)

P.P.P.P.S. A smal contribution for humour’s sake. 😜

well, dearest operanon, i thank you back for coming here and joining our wonderful roundtable! i never considered myself the table itself, but in that case, i hope i am made out of some pretty and tasteful wood. i will be leaving the rest of your message to the rest of our roundtable, but i would love to hear your wai theory!

re: p.s. - i will think it over and get back to you with my theory!

re: p.p.s. - indeed, no group chat!

re: p.p.p.s. - perhaps, but are you entirely sure?

re: p.p.p.p.s. - i appreciate it immensely!

#archer responds #operanon

[medeafive]

I can tell from your wonderful fics that you have many AU ideas for Natasha and Bucky. Any ones that you've thought of, or would like to see? Do you prefer to write mainly MCU, or would you be interested in writing more 616 based ones, say in their happier days as a couple? I hope this isn't too forward, but I wanted to ask it, and let you know your writing is always welcome and appreciated.

Hey anon, that’s such a nice ask! Yeah, I have a lot of AU ideas, (un)fortunately :D I can’t talk about it abstractly so I’ll give you the concrete ones I’m thinking about/working on:

My vampire AU, Blood and Stone (obviously)

An AU where Nat is a cop working on organized crime and Bucky is a veteran and they’re both navigating their sad traumatized lives while annoying the fuck out of each other. This actually came from a prompt about them fighting about the last piece of gourmet chocolate (that I could swear I posted on here but I can’t find it right now edit: found it) and I got so hooked on their dynamic in this specific AU I wrote over 50 chapters of it (still not finished). Probably the most intense and hottest dynamic I’ve ever written for them and the Natasha&Sharon relationship is honestly wonderful but the plot needs... work.

College AU! Nat is a grad student struggling with her thesis (projecting much?), strung incredibly tight, academic, ambitious, and Bucky is on the football team, confident, a total flirt, much more demonstratively relaxed. They once again annoy the fuck out of each other (Bucky goes to the Russian literature class Nat is teaching just to have a transparent excuse to see her and Nat gives him awful grades) though they get closer over the semester buuuut then the term is over and Nat has to go back to Russia for family/professional reasons and they just have a few days of being really together before losing touch (because I’m cruel and I like sad endings). Really can’t remember whether I posted the first part or not, can’t find it right now.

Also writing a soulmate AU for Marvel Trumps Hate where I use all the tropes.

There’s one fic lying around where Sam is a Christian king in Central Europe in the 9th century CE and Bucky is his brother who is arranged to marry the only daughter of the leader of a pagan tribe they’re (at least nominally) christianizing. Except the daughter is Natasha and she has no intention of going along with that, so she first takes Bucky hostage (during their wedding night) and threatens to kill him so she can escape, then comes back and nominally goes along with the arranged marriage so her tribe is left alone. Of course, that’s only lip-service and she constantly blackmails Bucky into enabling her pagan rituals and Bucky just... doesn’t really resist. I don’t really know where this goes but I was really obsessed with it for a while.

I was gonna write a lockdown AU because I read an article where the government of the Netherlands advised singles to find one lockdown buddy to have sex with in order to limit contacts, and that felt very courtship-like to me because you have to determine the one person you want to spend the next months (or year) with but you don’t really get to get to know them personally and once you’ve picked one, you can’t redecide. This also didn’t really go anywhere story-wise.

Somebody asked me for a Russian mafia AU a while back and my head produced this: Bucky ended up as the hitman/enforcer for some Russian mob group because he needed money to pay for Steve’s treatments which didn’t even really work, and now Steve is dead (or being kept hostage by the Russian mob or something, not sure on that yet) and Bucky doesn’t care about anything anymore, so much so that he develops a reputation as a completely cold and scary guy who’ll just do as he’s told and is famously not interested in anything (drugs, women, money). Natasha is the mob boss’s trophy girlfriend, famous ballerina, underwear model, international socialite and partygirl, the whole shebang. Then there’s a gang war and Natasha has to be protected and brought to safety (roadtrip!) and the mob boss decides Bucky is the only one to be trusted to do it (read: won’t sleep with her). Of course, it doesn’t go that way. I havent written a word of this but it already has a noir-style playlist.

I think that’s it? I hate that everything where Natasha is ALIVE is technically an AU these days so I didn’t include all the more canon-divergent stuff (plenty of those lying around).

Writing this made me realize how many of these are about them annoying each other :D It’s just that that helps me make the main plot them getting together, if there was no conflict between them, it’d either be a one-shot or I’d have to think of an actual plot and we can’t have that xD

I know I pretend on here to have read comics but I actually haven’t, all I know is from meta and second-hand accounts. Which is not a problem if I write AUs because then I can just take pieces from Natasha’s 616 background (for Blood and Stone, fighting the Nazis, Ivan, Alexei) and twist them, or if I write oneshots where I don’t need to know storyline details. So it’s not that I purposefully write MCU based AUs, that’s just what I know more about, and I do take 616 elements as well.

Re: AUs about their happier days as a couple, it’s those two things: if it’s happy couple stuff, I’ll need to think of other stuff going on (and I’m not that good at plot), plus I tend to start mentally from MCU canon. I mean, if you have something more specific you’d like to see, feel free to ask! (No promises, though, because I already promised way too many people lol)

Long reply... I hope that answers your questions! Thanks for asking, always love talking about WIPs and story ideas :)

#writing #my writing #fanfic #buckynat

[tuesdayisfordancing]

Hi, would you tag other thomas’ love interests too on your meta posts (which are always good!) on your da-blog, please? 😊 I personally have ellis and barris blacklisted so that would be helpful. Please don’t take this personally, you have done nothing wrong. And it’s okay not to answer this ask, I just wanted to stay anonymous since I’ve got some nasty asks from some barris shipper before, and it wasn’t possible to send you an anonymous ask on your da-blog. Thank you and keep up your lovely blogs! ❤️

Aww nonny you are very sweet! I’m answering this so as to forwarn you and others that while I will happily add Ellis/Barris to my “must remember to tag“ category I am unlikely to have good coverage if I try to do it for all the characters and ships - I already slip up occasionally with just one character to remember. That’s not to say that if anyone has additional tag requests they shouldn’t make them! Just to let people know that at a certain point I may end up saying “I’m sorry but I don’t have the bandwidth to add another tag without damaging my coverage for the things I’m currently tagging”.

Also anon asks should now be enabled, they weren’t off intentionally.

#Blogging about blogging

[dreamersleeps]

So, as someone whose father is very similar to Endeavor, I've never understood the notion that Horikoshi is trying to whitewash or excuse his abuse by giving him a character arc. Abusers are awful people, but it's not often that they're one-dimensional villains. Nobody ever talks about how confusing it is when your abuser wakes up and sees the damage they've caused, much less when they clumsily try to make ammends. It seems fans would rather it all be simple, when it's anything but in reality

/2 Are there ways it can be handled better? Of course. But a writer making an effort to explore the complexities of abuse through all its angels is far from abuse apology. It’s much more respectful (imo) to treat the situation like the confusing, complicated mess it is in reality, rather than reduce it to some simple cartoonishly evil bullshit that either limits the survivors of his abuse to being lifelong victims, or enables the continued abuse perpetuated by a former victim (i.e., Dabi)

Hello, I’d like to thank you for sharing your thoughts and opinions. I was actually surprised to open up Tumblr to see your messages in my inbox. I spent the past couple of days sitting on and thinking about it. I’m not sure if you were asking for my thoughts and opinions, but I’ve finally sat down and written my response. It’s late at night so I apologize if there are any statements below that are poorly worded or expressed. 

As you express, it’s a very complicated topic as a whole, because Endeavor, or Todoroki Enji is a complicated character. 

I can not and will not claim that I understand abuse like those who have experienced it. Additionally, It’s not in my place to tell people how to feel or think. However in response to what you shared, I will give some of my thoughts as a reader and fan of BNHA on the topics surrounding Endeavor. (Btw to the anon: some of what I have to say below will be my general opinions about the topic as a whole.)

When I try to write meta and other analysis pieces, I try my best to go back to the manga and base my analysis and arguments on the (official) translations instead of my opinions and thoughts from the beginning. I sometimes have to go back and re-read chapters to remind myself what is “canon” and then try to understand and express my interpretations on the matter. This is not to talk down on those who do not do this: this is just something I do for myself. I am most definitely influenced greatly by what others have to say but I also want to figure out my own interpretation of the story and characters.  

So, as someone whose father is very similar to Endeavor, I’ve never understood the notion that Horikoshi is trying to whitewash or excuse his abuse by giving him a character arc. 

I personally never really saw it as Horikoshi trying to excuse Endeavor’s abuse by giving him a character arc as well. As many others have stated, I don’t see it as a “redemption arc,” because it isn’t. 

I think that we all have to remember the diversity of the fans and readers of this and other fandoms. There are those who can personally relate to or understand what the Todoroki family has gone through, and others who are unable to. Those who are unable to fully understand certain experiences but can sympathize with the characters however even then, this lack of knowledge or exposure to the topic has led to people accidently expressing opinions that hurt or offended others. Additionally, based on what I’ve seen and read on Tumblr, there is quite a wide range of differing viewpoints from those those who can relate to the experiences of the Todoroki family.

Abusers are awful people, but it’s not often that they’re one-dimensional villains. Nobody ever talks about how confusing it is when your abuser wakes up and sees the damage they’ve caused, much less when they clumsily try to make amends. It seems fans would rather it all be simple, when it’s anything but in reality.

Abuse is complex. There is a very wide range of complicated feelings, emotions, thoughts and opinions that surround it. Everyone has a reason as to why they feel or think the way they do. Because we all have had different experiences and reactions to the events of our lives, we can not expect everyone to think similarly. 

Given that BNHA or shounen manga in general is catered towards a younger audience (compared to, lets say seinen manga) and Horikoshi is working with topics that are difficult to read or understand even for adults, I’d argue that part of the discourse may result from that. 

It seems like when we say that we like a certain character, people tend to automatically assume then that we approve of what they stand for and what they’ve done. I first watched the first two seasons of BNHA before I began reading it. I absolutely hated Endeavor in the beginning, however after I caught up in the manga and began to follow the chapter releases each week, ultimately the characters that really pulled me in to the story was Endeavor, Hawks, and Bakugou, arguably some of the most controversial characters of the series. 

Are there ways it could be handled better? Of course. But a writer making an effort to explore the complexities of abuse through all its angles is far from abuse apology. It’s much more respectful (imo) to treat the situation like the confusing, complicated mess it is in reality, rather than reduce it to some simple cartoonishly evil bullshit that either limits the survivors of his abuse to being lifelong victims, or enables the continued abuse perpetuated by a former victim (i.e Dabi) 

What truly drew me in was the complexities that came with their characters. I haven’t personally experienced abuse however I have lived through other experiences to recognize in my own understanding that life is both so negatively and positively complicated, confusing and messy. Some people want to see Endeavor fall, and others hope to see him actually change. These wishes are shaped by what we’ve seen or experienced throughout life. 

We like simple, clear cut, perhaps one dimensional characters because it’s easier to form an opinion about them. It seems like we struggle with characters like Endeavor and others because we are sometimes faced with the contradicting collision of our own thoughts, morals and beliefs with the actions and story of these characters. 

For some reason a lot of my analysis posts have revolved around Endeavor, Hawks, and Dabi and if anyone is interested, I personally believe that as much as we may love a character, whoever it may be, actions should and will be met with consequences. Tragedy does not excuse one’s actions. They may explain one’s actions but we are responsible for and should be held accountable for the consequences that result from it.  

If anyone was thinking it, this all does not mean that I think Horikoshi should be exempt from critique. And as you ask and answer, “Are there ways it could be handled better? Of course.” Additionally as I have written on the top of my blog, 

There will be posts found here that you may not agree with, however different perspectives are what keeps the meta conversation going. 

I think that many of us would prefer it if people would refrain from accusing, insulting or bullying Horikoshi and other fans because of their thoughts and opinions. Although it is understandable that it is difficult when we respond to the story and others emotionally, taking part in these types of activities is not the same as critiquing something. 

Boku no Hero Academia is still an ongoing manga. We get one chapter every one or two weeks at a time and so we only get little snippets of the full story. Based on new info and what we’ve read in past chapters, we make predictions, assumptions and have expectations about the future. However, I think that we all have to remember that the story of Enji, Rei, Touya, Fuyumi, Natsuo and Shouto is not complete yet. We are still in the midst of an unfolding narrative that Horikoshi is working closely with to present his readers. 

#endeavor #todoroki enji #thoughts #cw abuse #luna answers