#/hey does being excited hurt sometimes lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bathomet-writes · 1 year

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relax

summary: During a movie marathon at your place, Raph and you unwind and have a quiet night in. Lots of cuddling, hugging, and body slams.

relationship: Raph x GN!reader

warnings: romantic, fluff, humor, stimming, light hurt/comfort, sleepy cuddling, established relationship, sfw

word count: 4,105

author's note: this is a request for @/m0om0obell!! i might have projected a little bit onto this lol...but i hope u like it!!

“Hey,” You whisper, setting down the bowl of popcorn. “Can you do that thing?”

Raph briefly tore his attention from your TV. “That…thing?”

He stares blankly at you, slightly unsure. You were both relatively quiet for the last hour or so, fully engrossed in your bi-weekly movie marathon. Your request came sort of out of nowhere.

It was a cute little tradition you and Raph shared. Of course you loved watching movies with the other turtles, but even you needed a break from the whole group every once in a while. He would show you some of his favorite movies, you’d show him yours. You’d both react with varying levels of excited interest, or mild confusion. You were usually the one who made Raph concerned with your weird taste in cinema. A lot of obscure comedies…and sometimes horror, if you could sneak it in.

At this point, you were knee-deep in the John Wick franchise since tonight was Raph’s choice. You loved anything with Keanu, obviously, but for some reason seeing all the wanton physical violence was making you antsy. Not nervous, just restless in general. The decent thing to do would be just to get up and walk around a bit, loosen up your tense muscles. But there was that other thing you and Raph did that you couldn’t really do with the other turtles.

You heave yourself off of the groove you carved into your couch, letting a couple stray popcorn pieces fall from your shirt.

“Yup, the thing! Beat me like an old rug.” You grin and step out into the open area of your living room.

Raph’s eyes flit around, perturbed by your analogy. “Uh, if you say so? I don’t mind throwin’ ya around, but why–”

He stops as he watches you rearrange your more breakable furniture. Which was…well, all of it. You set the lamps and various knick knacks in a laundry basket and quickly scooch your couch aside. Once the stage is finally set, you give Raph a shrug.

“It helps me relax. Now ‘John Wick’ me.”

Letting your body go slack, you turn on your heel and trust fall into Raph’s strong embrace. He chuckles, easily holding you up.

“You don’t really want me to slam you into the wall, right? And then find every sharp object I can and fling it at your face?” He jokes.

“That does sound tempting,” you hum, moving your arms up. “Maybe tone it down a bit.”

Like clockwork, Raph slides his hands under your arms and scoops you up. He cradles you delicately, carefully like one would treat a baby. He even puts his palm under your head, making you feel positively nestled.

Then, he bodyslams you into the floor with a loud THUMP.

The photos hanging on your wall shake from the impact, and the popcorn bowl teetered dangerously close to the edge of the coffee table.

“Woo! That’s the stuff.”

Raph didn’t really use his full force, he didn’t think he had it in him anyway. Just some playful roughhousing was all it was. Lightly (in reality, it was actually pretty harsh, but this was in Raph terms), he digs his sharp elbow into the middle of your back. You feel your spine stiffen, almost painfully so– before you both hear a loud pop. Another huff of relief escapes your lips, letting Raph know you were doing just fine.

“Jeez, you need to see a chiropractor.” Raph smiles, lifting you up. “Get ready.”

“I know, but this is much cheaper.”

In an instant, he flings you into the air. You smile contentedly as you sail, reveling in the sensation of being suspended, until you’re grabbed by Raph again. Wrapping his arms around your midsection, he essentially just gives you the tightest hug you think you’ve ever gotten. Nearly all the wind in your lungs gets squeezed out, but it felt nice. Maybe this was a form of stimming, you were still kind of unclear about why you liked getting handled so roughly. You were just happy that Raph was so down to indulge your needs.

You don’t really notice when Raph angles your bodies back up, with him sitting on the carpet and you in his lap. In the background, John kept dispatching High Table lackeys with ease.

“That looks so fun. I wish I could be a stunt person, get paid to have Keanu Reeves beat me up!”

Your voice uses up the last breath you had stored, and you let out a tiny, high-pitched wheeze at the end. Raph eases up on the hug and allows you to take a much-needed inhale. After just a couple of moves, you were satiated. He knew even when he was giving you the most diluted form of his strength, you needed some respite. His orders, not yours.

“You need more?” He snorts, waiting for you to give him an answer after a couple of deep breaths. He puts a gentle hand on your back and attempts to soothe you back to normal.

His tender touches make you relax again, and you practically melt into him. If only you could have Raph on standby wherever you went. Work, going to the grocery store, what have you. You would use any excuse to be physically intimate with him.

You mumble and debate with yourself, throwing up your hands to weigh your options. “Eh, I think I’m good for now. Thanks, big guy.”

You knew he wasn’t really used to being so casually violent with anyone who wasn’t his immediate family. Despite not being a mutant or a ninja, Raph thought you were actually pretty sturdy. Or at least had a higher pain tolerance than most. Whatever it was, he was glad he didn’t really have to worry about accidentally hurting you or anything. You were a tough cookie, if not a little odd. Your taste in movies was honestly a little stranger to him than this.

Raph’s gaze dipped from the screen back down to you. “I have served, I will be of service.”

He shoots you a subtle smirk. Looking up at his smug expression, you don’t miss the clever reference he just made. Your eyes remain locked for a couple more seconds, and you try to decide the best response. You should probably know other John Wick quotes, if you were paying attention the last 4 hours or so.

But watching Raph’s mouth curl into a slow, steady smile was making you a little distracted. You hated whenever he did that, especially when his fang poked through. And he knew it was your one and only weakness, the fiend!

“Damn it.” You scoff, playfully shoving his face away. “You win.”

Raph grins even harder, gathering you up into a regular, loving hug. One that hopefully wouldn’t squeeze you anymore than you needed to be tonight.

“I mean it, I’m glad I can do this for you. To you?” He quirks his head to the side.

“Yeah…” You knit your eyebrows together, all of the sudden feeling your tension fading away. It was being replaced with something else, something you didn’t want to have happen right now.

You were sleepy. And a yawn was building up in your throat. No, you still had a movie and a half of action-packed thrills to get through! Not like this…

After an internal battle, you eventually stretch out your tenderized limbs and let out a loud yawn. Why was relaxation such a close relative to tiredness?

“Hahh…No, no I didn’t mean it! I’m not tired.” You argue.

However, Raph had already swept you back up into his arms. “Too late! It’s happening.”

You had a sneaking suspicion that he was taking you to bed, but when you felt him reach over to pause the movie, that was the nail in the coffin. Your comfy, pillowy coffin.

“I’m not sleepy. And even if I was, I’ll just fall asleep on the couch and lean my head against your arm, all romantic-like. Doesn’t that sound amazing?”

Your body continues to disobey you. Eyelids growing heavy, the familiar feeling of tranquility warming you up. Your bones became jelly. Knees weak, arms spaghetti.

“It’s already too late, your bed is right over there…” Ralph’s low, sing-song voice only made you even more relaxed.

Once he lays you delicately upon your sheets, you fold. You felt syrupy, like thick molasses, your brain becoming dulled with fuzzy thoughts. All your movements were slowed as you lazily kicked off your socks. Thankfully, you were already basically in your pajamas, or else Raph would have surely had to help your change.

Not that you wouldn’t mind that…

“Why are you so soothing?” You whine. His big, surprisingly cuddly body and mere presence was making your vision blurry. He was like a balm for the soul.

Raph only responded by carefully crawling onto your bed, the mattress having long since lost all its spring. It was sort of a sad, saggy mess of pillows now, but it felt extremely comfortable nonetheless. And supportive. You haven’t exactly slept next to him before, but Raph definitely sat with you on your bed plenty of times. Mostly to just show you internet videos and whatnot, or to chat. You two could talk for hours if you wanted, but right now your faculties were dwindling.

Once you get all comfy and cozy, fluffing the pillows and rearranging the blankets to your specifications, you get antsy again.

What, did you need a glass of warm milk or something? What was making you so weird all of the sudden? The bed was cool, but not cold. Just the way you liked it. And of course Raph was next to you, curled up into his own little nest.

“You okay? I can move if I’m crowding ya…”

Despite literally all the other perks of sharing a bed with you, the closeness, the comfort, the intimacy, he kind of hated how big he was. He took up nearly all of the space, even with part of his body still on the floor. Right now, he was just kneeling beside you, resting his head on your mountain of stuffed animals you kept in the bottom corner of your bed. It was his little area you made up for him, a courteous gesture that warmed his heart every time he saw your room.

You sigh, shifting around to find a better sleeping position. Maybe you were just lying wrong.

“You’re fine, I’m just kinda— I dunno.” You move to lay your head on your folded arm.

You were usually a side sleeper, and a chaotic one at that. Another reason why you never really liked to sleep with Raph, or anyone for that matter, was because you sort of thrashed. And starfished, your legs needing the entirety of the bed to feel comfortable. And you snored. You were a real Sleeping Beauty.

“This is gonna sound weird, but I feel…weird? I know that makes no sense.”

“S’not weird. What’s up?” Raph chirps, lifting his head off of your various plushes to meet your eyes.

You knew he understood what you meant by ‘weird.’ It was like being tossed around, the physical repetition made you feel normal. Made you feel a little less out of place. Sometimes, usually for no reason at all, the world would feel off its axis. The weather would be wrong, or an overhead light would be too yellow. Silly things that shouldn’t bother anyone nearly as much as it bothered you, but they did. You couldn’t put it into words, and it took a lot of time for you to talk to Raph about it.

But, once again, he accepted you with an open mind and an open heart. And open arms. Just a lot of openness all around. And you were eternally grateful to him.

You roll your head around to look at him at the foot of your bed. His eyes looked slightly unsure, but his kind smile put you at ease.

“It’s hard to explain, but I just can’t relax today. I don’t know what it is.” You admit.

Before you could even ask, Raph’s arms creeped their way back over to you. You accept them, moving your arms around to hold his head as well. You felt a little bashful, being so touched-starved. But you needed to feel Raph, even for a moment.

“What do you need? Do you wanna talk, not talk?”

You shake your head. It really wasn’t that bad, at least not so bad that he needed to do his little spiel. You hadn’t had a full-on breakdown in quite some time. But this was different.

“No, it’s not that. I just need to move, but my body won’t let me!” You give him a crooked smile, weakly waving your legs around. “I feel so stupid.”

Immediately, Raph shushes you. “You are not stupid.”

He waits until you look him in the eye again, before going on. It’s a firm but loving look, making your heart flutter. You think he’s about to lecture you when his resolve breaks, his eye ridge rising to give you an affectionate smirk.

When he speaks, his tone is resolute. It sends a shiver up your worked-out spine.

“I’m serious.”

“I know you are. I’m serious too,” you murmur. “I’m sorry. I know when I get like this— Woah.”

You didn’t realize it, but Raph was slowly moving to fully sit on the bed. His spiky shell was cushioned by your many pillows and plushies, shielding your wall from any damage. Before you know it, he has you cradled in his arms again. Only this time, he was actually holding you.

No, he was rocking you? You felt your body being swayed gently back and forth.

“Raph, I didn’t mean…” You frown, trying to hide your blush. “I’m not complaining, but I didn’t think you’d actually—“

“Rock you? Of course I would.” He states flatly, almost dismissively.

How the heck did he know…?

You didn’t tell him you actually liked to be held like this? Well, you’d like Raph to hold you in whatever way he pleased if you were being honest. But the swaying thing was something you did when you were by yourself. If you were having trouble falling asleep, you would usually play some ambient music or something. But the physical sensation of being rocked was enough to knock you out cold.

“You’re kind of scary when you read my mind like that.” You fidget with the fabric of your oversized shirt, whispering into the curve of Raph’s shoulder.

You hear him say something, and your head bobs back up. Dang, he was good.

“Wha?” You sputter.

Raph chuckles, staring into your eyes. Although it was becoming harder and harder the more your eyelids droop.

“I said you read my mind sometimes too. Like when I’m hungry, you’re right there with a snack. Or if I’m feeling lonely, you shoot me a text. Or call me. If you aren’t already right next to me,” he smiles, reminiscing to himself.

You try to actively listen as Raph drones on about this and that. The soft rumble of his voice in his chest, the body heat emanating from him, all of it lulled you deeper into slumber. Your concentration was hanging on by a thread, struggling to keep yourself awake. It had been ages since you felt this tired. Or rather, sleepy. This felt much more like ‘sleepy.’

“I get how you feel, by the way. Sometimes I need to go work out or punch a wall if I’m feeling stressed. Even if I’m not feeling stressed, it just feels nice to do.”

Raph takes the opportunity to look around your bedroom again. The only source of light was coming from the hall, a sliver cutting across the floor, up to the wall. You had a lot of stuff, it was actually kind of funny. Raph had a lot of stuff too, but his room was mostly full of exercise equipment or stuffed animals. He thought it was a little weird, but you insisted that it wasn’t.

Maybe he should take his own advice every once in a while.

You had a lot of movie posters hanging from the wall, among other magazine clippings and such. It was a collage of your personality. A couple months ago, he wouldn’t know what half of the posters were. But after your movie nights, he could at least name some of them. Your room was what a kind person would call an ‘organized chaos.’ Everything had its place, but your method of organizing seemed to be just stacking things until they couldn’t be stacked anymore. A couple of piles of books and clothes littered the floor.

Raph had been absentmindedly rocking you, his body going to autopilot. He wasn’t sure how long it had been exactly, but he continued.

For a moment, he feels a snicker come on. It felt kind of like he was rocking a baby to sleep. Not that he really knew what that felt like, he didn’t really know any babies. There was that woman in Times Square who shoved her baby into his arms and took some souvenir pictures. The memory was sort of bittersweet to him. Like the only reason why anyone would allow him to hold a baby was because it was a novelty. Nobody in their right mind would let Raph, the spiky, lumbering oaf that he was, actually hold anyone. Not anyone that deserved so much love and care.

Your soft mumblings rouse Raph, and you seem to almost talk in your sleep. It startles him a bit, but he stays calm.

“You’re like…the best. I feel so held, you feel like home. Like from Midsommar, only for real. Y’know?”

Raph gulps, feeling awkward for the first time tonight. Did you know you were a sleep talker too? He guessed you wouldn’t really know that kind of thing, but it was fascinating. Raph wanted to stay up all night to just watch what you did when he wasn’t around. Totally not in a creepy way or anything!

He’s almost afraid to say anything, lest he disturbed you. He wanted to let you sleep, or do whatever you needed to do. Did you guys always quote so many movies around each other that you did it in your sleep? You were so cute, even like this.

You snuggle closer to Raph, your arms instinctively curling around his waist. They didn’t come anywhere near wrapping around his entire body. Raph had to bite down a guffaw when he felt your fingers ghost over the area between his plastron and his shell.

“Gheh—!” He shudders.

He wasn’t normally so ticklish, but the current situation found him a little…vulnerable.

In your mind, the only thing you could think about was clinging onto Raph. He did so much for you, and you wished you could help him relieve half as much stress as he did for you. You hoped you did, you knew you did. Insecurities aside, all you wanted to do was hold him. Cradle him. Even if your puny arms weren’t big enough.

“Do I feel like home to you? Do you feel held? I want to hold you…” Your words tumble out of your mouth, slurred and dripping with sleep.

There’s that movie again. Why did you keep bringing it up? Raph wanted to tease you, maybe flick you in the nose. But he wouldn’t dare. That movie was actually pretty good, minus all the insanely disturbing parts. Those lines must have really resonated with you for some reason.

Still, Raph gave your half-awake ramblings some serious consideration. Of course you felt like home to him, it went without question. The being held part was a little less straightforward. And a little more blush-inducing.

Even if you were currently holding him, your arms snaked around his waist and everything.

Softly, Raph speaks up. His voice cracked a bit with a bashful hiccup.

“I, uh— I guess I do feel…held.”

You hold him even tighter.

Raph blushes even harder.

Despite being mostly asleep, you had an impressive amount of strength. Enough to make Raph take notice. It didn’t feel desperate or needy, more like one person trying their best to make the other feel secure.

Deep down, Raph knew. He would tell you some other day, when you were more awake, that he did sometimes feel like he needed a break. Not that he didn’t love supporting you and his family, not at all. It was just…

“I put so much pressure on myself. I’m getting better about asking for help, but when you’ve gotten by for so long without asking, it’s sort of weird. I don’t hold it against anyone, but I wish someone was there to—“

Raph shook his head, he didn’t even know what he was talking about really. Even so, he felt bad for letting off steam like this. But you probably weren’t even listening anymore. The soft sound of snoring down below made it pretty obvious.

With the utmost care, Raph tried to tuck you back into bed. He thought if he just moved out from under you, you would slide back into your spot on the mattress.

The bed squeaked a bit as he crawled away, making him stop.

“Phew…” He sighs, gently starting to peel you from his body.

You didn’t really want to come off though.

“Huh.”

Your arms were locked in place, refusing to be removed from Raph’s person. A few seconds of mild struggling was all it took for him to give up. He smiles, a warmth spreading through his chest.

“I guess I’m not going anywhere.”

He settles back into his spot, pillows and stuffed animals still in place, before letting his mind wander again.

He almost wished you were awake, so that you could talk some sense into him. You were really smart, and one of the people he trusted most to vent to. Venting was good, it let you get all the weird thoughts out of your brain and out into the air. A weight still sat on Raph’s shoulders, so he looked back down to you.

You looked so calm and peaceful, snoozing away. Raph’s seen you take naps before, but watching you sleep was a bit different. This was your room, your private space. It was a great honor to him that you let him into it so easily.

Slowly, your arms begin to go slack and ease off. Raph watches on as you turn and get into another sleeping position, one that had you facing the door instead of him. His heart drops a little when he feels your absence.

He wanted– no, needed to have your arms around him again.

It felt like he didn’t deserve it. Or he didn’t deserve to have so much of you. Raph had to stop himself from getting lost in his guilty thoughts as he inches closer to you.

As his face got closer to yours, he watched to make sure he didn’t wake you. You must be a pretty heavy sleeper. Once you were down, you were down.

Looking at you was stirring up all kinds of new feelings within Raph. Admiration, serenity, a profound bond that couldn’t be broken. All his intrusive thoughts and worries didn’t mean a thing when he was next to you.

Without a sound, his free arm reaches up and encircles your waist, pulling the two of you together. His plastron was nearly flush with your back, and his knees were close to hitting the back of your thighs. The position was almost a little too intimate, Raph wasn’t familiar with how your body felt like this. He felt even more uncomfortable with what to do with his own, but he couldn’t pull away.

You made him feel cozier and safer than anyone else.

“Thank you,” he whispers, a yearning hidden behind his words.

Wordlessly, you stir. With the last bit of consciousness you had left, you move your right hand down from underneath your cheek to lie on top of Raph’s. You give him a light but reassuring squeeze, clutching at his large fingers. It was your way of saying ‘no, thank you.’

When you do so, Raph’s eyes welled up with tears. They had been building up for a while, but your hand was so soothing, enough to let him let out all the pent-up emotions he was holding onto. He wasn’t one to cry easily, but you meant so much to him.

Raph and you together, it just made sense.

taglist: @saspas-corner

#reader and raph are on the spectrum #i hc raph as autistic u cannot stop me!!#rottmnt x reader #tmnt x reader #sfw #raph x reader #raphael x reader #rottmnt raph x reader #requests

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melancholysway · 1 year

Note

Hello! So I saw TMNT 2007!Raph x GN!Reader: The Confession, and it got my brain pumping, Could I request an Angsty Unrequited 2007!Leo x GN!Reader, where Leo has a crush on Reader, that he didn't acknowledge or think too much about, and he only realises the full depth of it when he left (absence makes the heart grow stronger) but does comes to accepts it as a truth and plans to grow closer to them and pursue his feelings when he returns, only to find out Reader is dating Raph, they're a perfect pair and are so happy together, and Leo isn't sure how to respond but it sure hurts.

This can be as Long or short/formatted as you like, sorry if this is extremely wordy, thanks for reading!

Omg omg I’m so excited for this one!?!?!? btw, this is over 4,000 words long, so I hope this isn't too much! this was a great request and I wrote the entire thing just now lol

I hope you enjoy!

TMNT 2007!Leo x Reader: Unrequited

(also a 2007 Raph x reader, BUT ITS NOT A POLY FIC!)

Chapter key:

~ = time skip

--- followed by italic text = flashback happening

--- followed by normal text = flashback ending

+++ - scene change (minor time skip)

________________________________________-

It started small, very small

Because you’re just a person to him in the beginning, a sorry sucker that got dragged into the depths of a New York City robbery in a small convenience store.

You get out (kind of,) but it lands you being chased by the big guy who decided to point the gun at the cashier who noticed you left when he ordered everyone to stay put

But you’d rather run than get shot, so, there’s that.

Thus, you unknowingly run into an unknown savior of the city you resided in, and though you thought you’d die a sorry death in the back alley of a street you couldn’t recall the name of, you’re saved.

You thank your savior, to which, he with a slightly raspy yet calm tone answers you from the shadows.

“You’re welcome.”

And that’s it. But, who was he?

“Um…I’m not exactly sure where I ran to, do you happen to know which street I’m on?” You didn’t know Manhattan like the back of your hand at all. Not only that, but you were just…running. Though the city never sleeps, fate just so happened to make this new area you came to empty. This side was asleep. It had to be the gentrified area of Manhattan, huh?

And that’s how you meet Leonardo. Sort of. He gives you directions to your apartment complex, but you didn’t feel safe going alone.

So, when he steps out of the darkness, he’s covered in a brown hooded cloak where you can’t see his body shape or face.

He takes you home like that. But oh, here goes fate once again, and there goes this sudden gust of wind that catches him off guard, and his face is revealed.

He’s a…

“Turtle. Mutant turtle.”

And THAT’S how you meet Leonardo. He’s surprised at how well you take it, but, in all honesty, you really could use a friend in this crazy city you just moved to not too long ago.

Time goes on, his brother (Mikey) gets nosy as to why he sometimes goes solo during patrol going a direction, not in their usual route, and follows him quietly (kind of, he falls a couple of times, but meows so his older brother thinks it’s just a clumsy cat)

He watches as Leonardo stops on a fire escape and knocks on the window, the light from inside getting more intense as the window is opened, revealing why Leo goes off on his own sometimes

He watches as you rub your eyes, slightly tired as you greet his brother, only to be a little startled as another turtle…mutant turtle, lands right beside him

“Dude! Another human!? Hey!”

And THAT’S how you meet Michelangelo.

Word goes around, Mikey just can’t keep his mouth shut, plus, he accidentally set off the emergency button on his T-Phone, so Raphael and Donatello are tracking him together. Suddenly, two more mutant turtles are at your fire escape.

“Ya jokin’ right? THIS is tha emergency?” Piercing golden eyes engulfed by a red bandana look you up and down confused, then back at Mikey. You’re the threat?

“Mikey…are you harassing another human again?” A purple-banded turtle, who appears to look identical to Mikey, begins apologizing on his baby brother's behalf.

And THAT’S how you meet Raphael and Donatello

After inviting Leo and his brothers inside your apartment, you introduce yourself properly. Donnie takes it well, and Raph is always the warier one. But, he trusts his older brother. With his life, even. So, if he trusted you, Raphael felt obligated to do the same.

Plus, he thought you were cute.

Come to think of it, Leo also thought that, too.

And thus, begins Leonardo’s small crush on you.

It’s platonic. At least, that’s what he tells himself. He doesn’t act on it, and you show no signs of having a crush on him, so, why risk it?

You progressively become closer with Leonardo’s brothers, and soon- after knowing them for almost two months- they introduce you to their sensei.

He loves you, by the way. How accepting you are, how sweet you are to his sons, and he can sense the hidden affection his eldest son has for you.

Time goes on, but time is a thief- waiting for an opportunity to steal the happiness of those who take it for granted.

To: Y/n

I miss you. A lot, actually. I didn’t think I would miss you and my family so much, but, I do.

Sometimes when I’m sitting in this dark cave, I feel like you’re going to run up behind me and try to scare me like you always did when I was around. I always knew you were there, but sometimes I would fake it just to see you smile. You pouted whenever I told you that you didn’t startle me.

My training period is almost up, but I don’t feel any different than when I first landed. Are 3 months really enough to turn me into a better version of myself?

Anyway, I hope you’re doing well. I hope you’re keeping the others in line, lol. Donnie is easily overwhelmed, and I know Mikey and Raph together are nothing but trouble.

~ L

That was the first letter you had gotten from Leo where he showed his feelings towards you. The very first letter was much more lighthearted with an exciting tone to it, and you could hear Leo’s voice in your head while you read it.

You begin a collection of all the letters Leo has sent you so far in a blue folder. To look back on them when you miss him.

It’s almost been 3 months already. That’s how long Splinter made Leo’s training period. But, he was doubting himself and venting to you through this letter. Was it enough for him? No, Leo’s a perfectionist. That’s not a lot of time for him.

So, you wait, wondering just how long Leo is planning to potentially stay in South America.

Back in the city, everything is doing fine. Sure, the 3 remaining turtles miss Leo, but he’s supposed to be coming back. As long as he keeps sending his letters to them, they’ll know that he’s safe and alive. The jungle is a dangerous place, and who knows what types of threats Leo is facing over there?

You come around the Lair more to spend some time with Leo’s brothers while he’s gone. Raphael seems to be the most stoic about his absence, and upset about the fact that they can’t go up to the surface and fight crime. Mikey does his own thing, and for some reason, wanted to do something crazy and get a job. You had no idea how he was going to pull it off, but you were excited to see the outcome. Donatello is keeping both of them in line while trying to fix things in his free time. He starts to tell Mikey to break the toaster as Leo did so he has something to fix weekly. Yes, Leo broke the toaster weekly.

You were already close with Leo’s brothers, but now? You found yourself gravitating towards Raphael. The topic of Leo was on his mind, and he worried. He always did, even if he tried to hide it. Though his expression was always a straight face when it came to his older brother, on the inside, he cared. He cared so much.

And as 3 months come to a close, Leonardo isn’t back.

To: Y/n

I tried to write this particular letter so many times. Especially to you and Raph. I know it’ll be a lot for you.

I’m staying here. I can’t go back yet, not when I have so much more to work on.

I’ve already discussed with Splinter back and forth with these letters, and he thought it would be best if I wrote to you and the others in the next letter I sent.

I keep everyone’s letters. I try to keep track of the conversations we’re having. Right now, I’m having a debate with Mikey over whether the Earth is flat or not. Spoiler: It can’t. Ask Donny.

So, I guess I can ask you as well for a third opinion, do you think the Earth is flat? I mean, the Earth turns, does it not? Is that not some indication of time passing? Time passes as the world turns. Time goes on, right?

I want to keep this as light-hearted as possible, but for some reason, it’s hard to write this letter to you. I don’t want to bombard you with my feelings, but I can’t help but wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you. I’m not sure what that entails, but you are such a great friend to me, that I’m forever grateful for you.

Just a few more months. That’s it. Just a few more months and I’ll be finished. I want to come home and see you and the others again. I’ll be a better me in that time. Swear it.

~ L

He swore it.

He swore to you he would be back in a few more months.

When this round of letters comes to the Lair, Raphael is livid.

Livid because, well, he doesn’t take promises lightly. Leo promised he would come back in a few months in his letter. But Raphael was more upset that he wasn’t coming back after these 3 months. And even MORE upset about the fact that just because Leo is gone, doesn’t mean crime left with him. If anything, it’s at an all-time high. He can’t keep sitting here and watching it all happen on the news, either.

“It’ll be a few more months, okay Mikey?” Donnie tries to soothe his baby brother, as Mikey was visibly hurt by the news. He wanted his older brother back. Now.

“Don’t give Mikey false hope, Don.” Raph glares at the brown-eyed turtle, “It ain’t good fa him. Mikey, Leo ain’t comin’ back right now, God knows when he is, alright?”

That’s what Mikey needed to hear, according to Raph. He didn’t want to sugarcoat anything for Mikey. Hell, he was never good at sugarcoating anything for that matter.

It’s been almost a year. Almost a year without Leonardo. A year without your best friend, and a year without the person you cared for immensely.

You and Raphael get closer during this time. He’s the only turtle that rebels against Splinter and begins to stop crime on his own, and you appreciate him for it. You tell him that one day before you leave the Lair.

---

So as Raphael sits up from his position on the couch, he can’t help but smirk at you.

And good God, that smirk got you hooked.

By this point, the city had created a vigilante name for him: The Nightwatcher. You remember seeing a news article online in which the title photo had been a blurry shot of the vigilante, which was just Raphael in metal armor. Though the rest of the family was oblivious to this, you sure weren’t. Mikey becomes a Nightwatcher fangirl, and Donnie becomes a Nightwatcher hater.

“Wanna take Betsy out wit me tonight?” Raphael asks as he stands at your fire escape. Funny, he always gets deja vu when he stands there, it reminds him of when he first met you. How he was standoffish at first, but he found out that you weren’t so bad after all.

“You think Betsy can handle two crazies on her back this time?” You joke, looking down your fire escape and onto the street, seeing sleek and shiny ruby Betsy parallel parked in between two ivory Hyundais.

The last time you went on a bike ride with Raph, Betsy- the name you gave to it- sort of broke down. But, thanks to Raph’s fix-it skills (thanks Donnie,) she was up and running.

He chuckles at your response and puts his helmet back on. He motions you to follow him down the fire escape and hands you the spare helmet you used for all bike rides.

This one was different.

Why? Well, the others didn’t end in a kiss.

Raph let you do donuts around in an empty parking lot with his motorcycle, and he couldn’t help but smile at how happy you looked. How you wore your smile so well, and how he thought about other ways he could get it to appear over and over again.

He always thought you were cute.

But as the night went on, you find yourselves rendezvousing all across Manhattan on ol’ Betsy, letting your frustrations out about Leo’s extended absence on the highway, going 65…80…85 miles on the interstate. You lost count, you were having so much fun. You both spill your feelings about the current situation with your best friend and Raph’s brother. You’re hurt. But, can you blame him? You find it in your heart to forgive Leo after that. Raphael doesn’t. It’ll take more time for him.

When it was all said and done, you wind up falling asleep on the ride back, something that never happened. But there goes fate, again. Coming at the most unexpected times. Raphael carries you back up to your apartment- to which you tiredly ask if he stays with you. You knew- as tired as you were that Raph would get questioned by Donnie when he got back at this ungodly hour. The sun was damn near starting to rise, and sleeping over at your place is one hell of an alibi.

And then it just happens. You comment on how tired he looks, but it just makes him look even more attractive to you. THIS wakes him up, and as he wonders if he heard you right, you plant a kiss on his cheek as a thank you for staying.

Raph tests the waters a bit and takes a risk.

He kisses you. But, not on the cheek.

And that, dear readers, is how your first kiss with your now boyfriend went.

---

Raphael was right, it’s been an entire year. And now? There’s word from April that Leo is very much alive in South America. Though, you knew he was just fine. Despite the letters stopping completely, you knew in your heart Leo was okay. He knew how to take care of himself on his own.

So it’s no surprise when April gives you the news.

Your boyfriend is angry at him. Raph misses him, he told you that much, but he had this burning hatred for his brother for scaring the rest of the family like that. I mean, Mikey thought he was dead somewhere in the jungle miles and miles away.

You think about the last letter Leo sent you.

You wonder what his next letter would have been to you had he not stopped all those months ago. He sure would have had a lot to say in response to yours, anyway.

To: Leo

To answer your question, of course not. The Earth is NOT flat.

But Leo, time is a thief. You of all people should know that. You were always the philosophical type. The world turns, yes. It’s an indication of time, yes. But it matters not how much time has passed, but what you did with said time.

To answer your other question, I do think about you. I wonder what you’re doing, if you’re swinging on vines like Tarzan or something. I care a lot about you, and that hasn’t changed one bit. This time away from you has been difficult on everyone, but getting these letters every 3 weeks helps.

You can never bombard me with how you feel, your feelings are always valid to me. I want you to know that all those feelings you have for me are reciprocated.

~ Y/n

Maybe it was a miscommunication? You thought that for a while. You thought you had read his last letter wrong. Did he mean he had feelings for you? Because you had also developed a small crush on him. Before he left, you liked him.

But, what if you read it wrong? Did he just mean his feelings toward you as a caring friend who missed the yin to their yang?

Maybe you were thinking a little over your head. You weren’t even sure if he got this letter, anyway.

You never knew. He stopped writing after that. Not just to you, but to the others as well. It was simply a thought of what once was.

A few days after April comes back from her business trip, Leonardo seems to follow. It’s unexpected as hell. After spending the first half of a warm Saturday working and getting ready to head down to the Lair for the second half, you get a text message from Raph.

Raph, 8:00 pm

Babe, lmk when you come down, okay? There’s a surprise for ya

You start to think about what it could be. Maybe Mikey had a party gig earlier and got to take a slice of your favorite cake home. You always liked being surprised with a slice of cake wrapped in tinfoil when you went down to see your boyfriend.

But only it’s not cake.

You come toward the entrance of the Lair a few moments after you messaged Raph you were close, and there he was, giving you a quick kiss and covering your eyes.

“Ya might like it more than I did,” His gruff voice comments. As you’re helped by Raph into the Lair, you sense something you haven’t in a long time.

It’s Leonardo.

You knew it from the moment Raph took his hands away from covering your eyes. You were face to face with someone’s plastron, and judging by the arm muscles you knew it was Leo. He was the only one who wasn’t as bulky as Raph, yet not as small as Mikey or Donnie. He was right in the middle.

“H-hey.”

You thought a lot about how you would react to Leo if he came home. Would you cry? Would you not forgive him anymore? Would it go back to the way it used to be? You could only predict how your brain would react but failed to predict how your heart would.

You hug him first.

You always did, anyway.

Leo wished he had hugged you first right now, though. But, it’s a sweet moment between you two.

“I missed you, jerk.” You say into his plastron. On the surface to everyone but Leo, it’s two best friends reuniting after a year of not seeing each other. But deep down, it’s Leo hugging the person he’s grown to love. He loves you.

Raphael- as much as he despises his older brother at the moment- calms down for the time being since Leo stepped foot in the Lair an hour earlier. He knows that you and Leo were close before, and how much you missed him as a friend. You never told Raph about what you last sent Leo and what you thought of it. It wasn’t relevant, and it was sent MONTHS before that night you became a couple. It was sent way before you fell for Raph. And once again, it just wasn’t relevant. Leo never bothered to send you a letter that confirmed your feelings were friends or more than that. So, it had to be just friends. He saw you as just that, and you had to accept it. Which, you could. You could accept being platonic with him, and just be the good friends you were.

Once you break away, you and the others sit down in the living room like old times. Mikey’s asking Leo all these questions about South America, and Donnie’s asking about the native wildlife. You and Raph on the other hand, ask the harder questions.

“Why’d ya stay longa?”

“Did ya forget us?”

Raphael asks him these questions, and Leo’s honest about each one.

He stayed because he needed time. He never- not for one second forgot about you guys. He missed you all. He knows he fucked up.

“Why did you stop writing?” You ask.

This is a tough question. You look at him with concerned eyes, and Raph puts an arm around you.

“I um…I got caught up in my own world, and…” Leo trails off as if he was thinking of what to say. But, he lost it. That’s when it hits him. He doesn’t say anything. He’s so fixated on the way his brother is touching you, and how you let him. Almost as if it’s an afterthought.

“I ran out of ink.”

“You couldn’t like, buy any?” Mikey asks, earning an eye roll from Raph and Donnie.

No. No, he couldn’t.

+++

As you spend your evening down in the Lair and hanging out with everyone, you notice Leo going to Splinter’s room, and you hear indistinct chatter coming from upstairs. Leo had spoken to his father when he first got back. In fact, nobody even knew Leo came back until Raphael overheard them talking from the cracked sliding door.

Though it wasn’t your business, you wondered what they were speaking about.

You weren’t one to eavesdrop, but the bathroom just so happened to be across from his room, so you heard their conversation for a few moments anyway.

“The best you can do is let them be happy, my son. Which they are. You cannot reverse time when things do not go as planned.”

“I…I know, but…I realized how much I liked Y/n when I was out there. I just…I was too late.”

‘Using the bathroom could wait,’ You thought. As you continue listening. You listen to the pain in Leo’s voice as he describes how his heart shattered when he realized Raph found his way into your heart. He wondered if you noticed. Splinter says no, you wouldn’t have noticed. You would be oblivious, as Leo never took that chance to send you those letters when he was away.

He saved them and brought them home to give to you. Well, he was going to give them to you.

Leo lied earlier. He never stopped writing. In fact, that’s all he did in times of loneliness. He wrote. He wrote until his hand was cramped or he had to start over because he felt he wasn’t conveying his emotions well enough. He had as much ink as a turtle could have.

That hug meant more to him than you could think. He planned on getting you alone and giving you the unsent letters to take before you went back to your apartment. But he couldn’t anymore. He couldn’t ruin the relationship you had with Raphael. He wouldn’t- no- couldn’t be that selfish. It just wasn’t in his nature.

So what did happen with those letters?

This burning curiosity seems to take over. You take a wild guess and enter Leo’s room- seemingly untouched for the past year. There’s a small pouch on his bed, the same one that he wore when he said his goodbyes before leaving way back when. You open the front zipper, it feels flimsy from all the wear and tear. Your senses were correct, and there was a folded yellow paper in the compartment. The same color paper that Leo wrote letters on.

You lock yourself in Leo’s room and sit down on his bed to open up this folded mystery.

You’re surprised to see that upon opening, 3 more letters fall out in a crinkled mess on your lap. After sorting them by date, a part of you wishes that he sent them sooner. But then another part of you disagrees- the part that loves Raph. You were happy with him, so fucking happy. You were a near-perfect match for each other. He saw you at your lowest and was there to help you out. He was always caring, even if he didn’t always tell you- he showed it.

Not only that, but you couldn’t go back and change the past.

7/10/2007

To: Y/n

You always were so good with words. It’s the one thing that I always admired about you.

I’m glad you feel the same about me as I do about you. You’re always on my mind, Y/n. I thought it was just a little crush at first but…gah, I’m not sure. I think it’s more. I’ve never had a crush before. Haha, I’m pretty good with unintentionally rhyming, huh?

You’re absolutely right, time is a thief. I hate myself for not realizing that with all the time I’ve taken up. I write little by little, and I apologize for taking so long with this one, but I wasn’t sure how to write that I feel like I’m falling in love with you.

And I know it’s a lot to use the word love- but I’m positive that’s what it is. As I sit here and think about you, I always go back to the first time I ever laid eyes on you. How gorgeous you looked despite the situation. How you were so sweet when fate got the best of me and revealed my true self to you. How you were sweet to me even after, and how you were warm and welcoming. The average person would have run to the hills, but you stayed. You stayed all this time, and I think that’s one of the reasons why I’ve come to love you. How accepting you are of those who are different.

7/20/2007

To: Y/n

It was selfish of me to leave you all. I know that if I send this letter and the others I wrote to you months after I received yours, there’s a chance that you don’t have those same feelings anymore. And there’s also a chance that I’m completely taking what you said the wrong way.

But, if I didn’t, and you truly feel those feelings for me- the “more than friends” kind, then please, read on. If not, take what I say with a grain of salt.

I guess the saying is correct; absence does make the heart grow stronger.

With that being said, I have a rather…odd request. I know it’s a lot, I know it is.

I want you to wait for me. I should have told you this before I left, but it was just a small crush back then. I wasn’t sure if I should tell you.

I know, it’s extremely selfish to ask you to lock your heart and throw away the key until I return, but we all get at least one selfish pass, right? If you can’t, I understand. I hope you find someone that loves you the way I would have when I came back home.

But a small part of me hopes you don’t find someone, and we get to be together after all.

Then again, I can’t control anything. I can only wish. Wish upon the millions of stars that scatter the South American sky.

8/1/2007

To: Y/n

I was always the philosophical type, and I’m glad you noticed. If this is the world where I get to be with you, I’ll cherish it. I’ll cherish you. I’ll cherish us.

But, if the cards aren’t in our favor, then I know there’s a parallel universe where I get to be with you.

Perhaps all I had to do was choose to write back to you instead of waiting and getting caught up in my training. Or maybe I choose to never go to South America. All of these decisions happen in the multiverse--I just so happened to get the short end of the stick in this one.

+++

Your eyes, welling up in tears, fold the slightly worn papers back up and into the pouch, zipping it back up. Curiosity didn’t kill the cat, but ignorance sure did. And right now, as sad and torn as you are, you feel relieved that you read these. Leo would have had to suffer in silence, without ever telling a soul but his Sensei.

As you exit Leo’s room, feeling a sense of confusion and uncertainty. you ask yourself the grand question, despite being in a daze:

Taglist:

@bee-1n-space @ducky-died-inside

Masterlist

#tmnt #tmnt 2007 #tmnt x reader #leo x reader #raph x reader #2007 raph #2007 leo #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt fanfics #tmnt fanfiction #2007 tmnt #leonardo #raphael #donatello

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woso-dreamzzz · 1 month

Note

hey! long anon here again… w the (as usual) long asks (oops) sorry about this one again, friend!

rereading the earlier bits of injured for fun (masochism) as a result of my nieces spending the weekend with my family. they’re twins and just turned 3… and it made me wonder what bambi was like pre-neglect. my nieces are so small and so excitable and have so much wonder in their eyes (sometimes tho they sit and stare blankly and it seems like they’re in deep thought lol) and it just hurts to think that bambi could be all giggles and excitement the way they are… but she’s been regressed to an apprehensive version of herself.

in the first part of injured bambi’s really cautious and quiet and quite introspective for a young child. bambi in the second part is probably even younger… since it takes place when jenni and alexia are a thing, and it’s cute to see bambi dotes on jenni the way a kid would to their parent (my nieces are constantly in their mom’s lap or sitting with my mom or something.)

it’s cool but sad because my nieces’ dad started working abroad so they’ve been hanging off my dad and brother—my aunt says it’s because they don’t see their dad as much. what do you think it was like for bambi when jenni was out of the picture initially? would we still see this introspective, sort of apprehensive version of bambi had jenni not left and none of this (olga, jaume, neglect) happened? we find out jenni’s been there for the pregnancy and for bambi’s entire life before she left for mexico. she’s young but i keep thinking that she probably lost a bit of herself seeing my nieces be so happy with some “father figure” given they don’t see their dad often anymore.

and then the part where we see bambi begin to realize the lack of attention she’s getting now that she has a younger brother. she’s 4… i think… and holy moly it brings tears to my eyes because ??????????? no kid should ever have to think about whether their parent/s are going to give them attention. especially at that age. so when bambi hides and waits for her mami… yeah. you made me a jenni stan with that one line… even before jenni-ism/the jenni agenda was a REAL thing. and then you cemented it by making bambi rationalize crying silently because alexia yelled at her the last time she expressed her own emotions when alexia was fussing over a crying jaume.

again i was just wondering if there was a large divide or shift in bambi’s personality given the events of neglect taking place in such an important time for development. she’s forced to mature so quickly and at such a young age and that just hurts. trying to mentally prepare myself for this sunday tho!

1010382 apologies to u and the readers bc of this long ask. it was just a thought (that definitely spiralled bc i love my nieces and i also love bambi) gonna go make more teeny and pequenita/natalia and princesse HCs bc they bring me a lot less pain than bambi does

Don't apologise! Your long asks make me really excited every time I see them!

Obviously, there's a space on Bambi's masterlist now for the Before so there's definitely going to be some younger Bambi coming at some point but she's always been quite introspective. It's just how she is but she wasn't nearly as apprehensive as she is now. But she was still giggly and happy and super cute pre-neglect.

In part II, Jenni was also only Tia Jenni but she definitely took a maternal role without it being an obvious thing (and it was in the cards for her adopting Bambi as well before the breakup). It was difficult at first when Jenni left because she definitely saw Jenni as a motherly figure. Jenni has been in Bambi's life since before she could remember so there was definitely a hole that she and Alexia had to adapt too.

Bambi realising that Jaume gets all the attention is so heartbreaking. In situations like this, there's mostly two options they can go with. There's the acting out to get attention and then there's the withdrawing themselves which is what Bambi did. She withdrew from everyone and stopped trying to get attention. She decided to wait it out to see if it would get better but it never did until Alba took her. Bambi crying silently was actually heartbreaking to write because she knows that she won't be getting attention and there's a chance that she'll get yelled at again.

There was definitely a shift in Bambi's personality pre and post-neglect. She was always reserved and a little introverted (there's actually studies about how children of mothers who suffered with long-term post-partum depression are more likely to suffer from difficulties of social and cognitive functioning, problems in externalising problems and anxiety disorders) but the neglect definitely makes it worse and it's something that she never fully recovers from.

It's a little heartbreaking to actually confirm but Bambi does suffer from long term effects of her neglect. It's never the really extreme things like failure to thrive (but that was borderline) but it does affect her future personality. She never fully goes back to how she was in the Before.

Bambi's in a very delicate part of her development so she's still able to bounce back to an extent but never fully. It went on for a bit too long combined with the medical trauma that she suffered during the same period so older Bambi does end up with a nervous disposition and she's often stuck in her head a little bit. She's got a habit of overthinking sometimes.

If Bambi never got neglected then her personality probably would have ended up wildly different.

#asks #bambi

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arctrooper69 · 2 years

Note

Hey I love your writing! It’s super cute and honestly really good. I definitely reread it a lot lol. I’m excited to read more of your works! I found you through your clone wars works but I love your LOTR stuff too.

If you’re still taking requests, what about #38 from the hurt/comfort prompt list with Wolffe from the clone wars? He gives me good caretaker vibes if it a bit of bad bedside manner vibes lol

OMG thanks 😃😃 It means a lot when you guys say that 😍😊 I don't have any LOTR stuff (yet. feel free to request. I would love to write some) so you might be confusing me with someone else? Also YES to ALL of that 😂 Commander Wolffe means well. And sometimes he can actually be caring too. Hope this is what you wanted!

--------------------------------------------------

In the Middle of the Night

Commander Wolffe hasn't always had the best bedside manner. Even though he might be rough around the edges,he really does care for his cyare.

Warnings: Sick reader. Mentions of vomit and being ill

--------------------------------------------------

"No! Stop!"

The words caught in your throat as you jolted awake, feeling like you'd just been electrocuted. The sheets on your bed were soaked and you felt like you'd just run a marathon.

"Y/n!" sounded a sleepy grunt. "You okay?"

You lay there blinking, trying to reorient yourself to your surroundings. Damnit. You hadn't had a nightmare in a while. They usually came when you were sick and right now you felt awful. You felt like you'd swallowed a lightsaber. Your lungs burned with every breath and your entire body ached. All you could do was groan in response.

"Cyare!?"

A light switched on beside the bed illuminating the clone lying beside you. He sat up, instinctively reaching for the blaster he kept beside the bed, pausing when he realized there was no immediate danger. He ran a hand down his scarred face.

"What's wrong?"

"Don't...feel...so...good" you managed to choke out; your voice was barely audible.

Commander Wolffe frowned as he looked at you lying beside him. "Kriff, you look terrible."

If you hadn't felt like death, you probably would have been offended by the callous remark but right now, your delirious mind thought that it was the funniest thing he'd ever said. Wolffe raised an eyebrow at your raspy giggles, then frowned again when they soon gave way to a painful cough. You tried to pull yourself to a sitting position. He sighed, pressing a strong hand to your shoulder.

"Just lie back, cyare. Don't get up, I'll bring you some water."

The Commander was right, sitting up was a bad idea. Your vision swam and you felt like a boat being tossed about in the sea. It was very reminiscent of the time when you had actually been in the oceans of Kamino on a boat. Seasickness. That's exactly how you felt right now. Except for this time you weren't on a boat - and this was much worse. A wave of nausea rolled over you.

"I'mma be sick," you slurred, gagging. Everything was blurry and slow. Fresher...make it to the fresher. It would be embarrassing, to say the least, if you were sick all over yourself in front of the Commander. You gagged again, unable to help yourself. Now Wolffe was wide awake.

"Oh, kriff! Uhm... Okay, hold on." He floundered around trying to find something to give you to be sick in.

You rolled over to the side of the bed in a delirious attempt to get to the fresher. You hit the floor with a thud.

"Shit, ok. Come on." He jumped out of bed, quickly slinging your arm over his shoulder like you were a solider he was dragging off the battlefield. A strong arm wrapped around your waist, jerking you to your feet. You felt heavy and weak, putting all of your weight on him. You didn't think you could carry yourself there at all and he could easily bear your weight.

"Alright, come on, cyare." His voice was still rough with sleep as he helped you stumble to the fresher. You vomited heavily into the vac-tube.

"There you go, cyar'ika." He brushed your hair back from your face. "Good girl, let it all out."

"I'm so sorry," you whispered. Your cheeks burned with embarrassment and you could feel the hot prickle of tears bloom from the corners of your eyes.

"Hey, don't be sorry. It happens to the best of us." He grunted as he slid to the floor beside you, handing you a wet washcloth.

"Not to you it doesn't!" Your voice cracked and the tears came then.

"That's because I'm a - " he paused, looking at your sickly tearstained faced. He shook his head and sighed, feeling slightly guilty. "Kriff, cyare. It's alright. I've gotcha." He pulled you gently into his chest. "I've got you. You're ok."

You lay your face onto his chest, shivering. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close.

You sniffed as your teeth chattered. "Kriff, why is your skin so cold?"

Wolffe chuckled, "It's not. You're just burning up. I'd say you've got a pretty high fever."

"Oh," was all that you could say. Whatever energy you'd had before was long ebbed away.

You whimpered as you felt the Commander lift you into his arms, taking you back to the bed.

"Please don't leave me." You whispered, suddenly panicked at the loss of contact as he lay you down and left the room. He came back with a glass of water and sat gently beside you.

"I'm not going anywhere, cyar'ika."

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@zoeykallus @ttzamara @nahoney22 @merkitty49 @viva-la-whump @agenteliix @dumpsters-little-matchbook @nekotaetae @ladykatakuri @loverofclones @heyitsaloy @padawancat97

If you want to be on my taglist, feel free to send me a message! Also, asks are open! Reblogging is very much encouraged and it makes me do a happy dance every time any of my writing gets reblogged 😂❤️

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ineeddream25 · 2 years

Text

Discussion plan gone wrong

[SAGAU! Imposter Reader]

Veritas Inter Astra

[Before]

Tw : Contains Violence

Welp, this is it. This is the continuation. Have it folks. I'll surely be updating this in the future but IDK how long. cuz currently, I'm still preparing for a college entrance exam. Hopefully, this will suffice for now. If you have any ideas, complain, or brain-rot, feel free! Oh, Ayato simps be winning in this chapter lol.

Faith is a sacred thing. It is holy, full of loyalty, and something that roots deep within people's hearts that serves as a guide. Guide on how they live their life. Guide on how they choose their morality and how to treat someone. Like how to treat a person like you! Who is mistaken as an imposter?

You are aware of the looks given to you. Those Shuumatsuban ninjas didn't even hide their glare while escorting you and Ayato. You grumbled. All this ordeal has left you very exhausted. Waking up in the middle of the storms, getting attacked, and now having to walk a long way to The Kamisato Estate. Yeah, you'd like to take a bath and maybe some warm food.

After navigating through the Chinju forest, your group arrived at the gate of The Kamisato Estate. You heard comments from the NPCs about how beautiful this place is. It seems they are not exaggerating after all.

You gasped. The sheer luxury of this place is up a notch. The soft glow of the lantern as the sky slowly turns to dark blue is beautiful. As if they are guiding you to this fine architecture. The soft blows of the wind with a hint of saltiness from the sea are also very refreshing. You stood in awe. Your ordinary self feels intimidated by the presence of this place alone. You, whom some moments ago, are just someone who tries to pay the rent of your apartment. You backed up a little, discomfort and insecurities filling your heart. Are you allowed to stay in this place? Your mother once look at you apartement and literally said “Damn you lived like this?” Once. Hey, That time it’s because exam week, you’re way too busy with your grades to care.

"Ayato, are you sure it's okay for me to be here?" you asked in doubt. Sure, when you played the game, you have always wanted to visit this place yourself. Honestly, who wouldn't? If you're honest, sometimes you would think, "How does it feel to live in such a luxurious place?" The thought always made you giddy and smile from the excitement. But now, after seeing the real thing, you're not so sure. Ayato smiled, not his usual political smile, but one genuine, full of love and adoration. It makes you uncomfortable. You didn't feel... worthy.

Before he could answer, one of his ninjas, though scared, snapped back at you. "You dare refer to Lord Kamisato so casually like that? Filthy imposter, you should know your place!"

You flinched back. You don't have enough energy to bicker back, and your anxiety's spiking up. The wind blows fast and harsher. You squeezed your hand so hard it turned white. You can handle people being mean to you, but that doesn't mean you don't feel hurt. You ignore the wind that starts getting restless, the trees trashing around along with the wind.

"Look, Ayato-- Lord Kamisato. I appreciate your thoughts." You bowed, apologizing. "But it seems that I won't be received well in your place. I'll go back with Nobu and continue my travel with them--"

"Shut up." You flinched, not daring to look up. Ayato's voice is devoid of any warmth.

Did you mess up somewhere? Did your bow is disrespectful? You heard little gasps behind you as well. Oh no, you definitely messed up.

But I don't want to die.

An idea pops through your head

Hey, I can apologize! He will forgive me, right?

You stand up straight, expecting Ayato to glare at you.

Only to see a body stumbles in front of you and fall to the ground. His face was pale as paper. You scream and walk back. The sight of it scares you, but you can't help your sense of morality to help him.

"IS HE DEAD?!" You scrambled to him, grabbing his hand to check any pulse left. In the past, your school has given you some first aid lessons. It's time to practice your knowledge. You reached to the area on the side of his neck. You are relieved when you feel the weak pulse there. After calming yourself, you realize that the unconscious man was the one who mocked you before.

You feel someone's hand gently caressing your cheeks. You startled, whipping around your head to see Ayato looking at you worriedly. You felt relieved that he's not angry at you, but can't he sees the man being unconscious in the dirt? Sure, he is a jerk. Maybe he deserves it a bit. But he looks like he is on the verge of dying!

"T-Thank you for your concern Ay-- Lord Kamisato. But, um, the soldier, Shouldn't he get some treatment?" you asked hurriedly. Ayato squeezes your arms gently once again.

"Just call me Ayato, Dear creator." He said while longingly looking at you. He wanted your attention on him, but the man, who offended you oh so greatly, is diverting your attention from him.

Ayato glances at him. His eyes turn cold and emotionless. How dare this man belittle you, the great creator. How dare he mock you. It seems that the education instilled in them is still not working effectively. He needs to note that for his plan.

The samurais in the back are frozen stiff. They've seen how Lord Kamisato creates a bubble around the ninja's head, mercilessly drowning him, slowly and silently crushing it with water pressure whirling inside the bubble. They've seen the anger and fury gleaming in the head commission's eyes. They've seen it before, anger so primal but so concealed. They wouldn't have noticed if they'd never experienced it before.

Nobu walks forward intending to tell you what has happened. You need to know what happened. The leader, sensing one of his youngest member's intentions, grabs his shoulder harshly. Nobu jerked back, head whipped around to glare at him. The leader motions to Lord Kamisato, who is glancing at them. His eyes filled with hidden messages.

"You don't want the same cruel thing to happen to you right? Don't intervene."

The leader got that message clear. He wants to help you, but he is still powerless in front of the commissioner and his army. Lord Kamisato called you the creator, but to him, you are just a clueless person who doesn't know anything. He will make you one of the group, but now, he hopes your fate there will be lucky, even if his gut was telling him otherwise. If there's another chance to help you, he will repay this sin.

You are still waiting for Ayato's response. Quietly tugging his arms, you called out to him. Ayato's attention is back to you now. His eyes change forth between fury and adoration, which unsettles you. He looks at one of your hands on the unconscious soldier's head.

"No worries, My grace. He is a little bit exhausted from today's mission and hasn't been resting. I'm sure enough rest will make him better the next day." He lied smoothly. The ninja gets the messages and takes their friend back to their living quarters.

You stood up awkwardly. Ayato is still holding your arms. His eyes are still soft with adoration and another emotion you can't pinpoint.

"You can let me go, Lord Kamisato." Ayato looks partially hurt. "Just Ayato, Dear creator. Call me Ayato, like how you used to call me before coming here."

"But, I just met you! What do you mean how I used to call you?"

Ayato looked confused. It seems that something happened when you were transported here. Ayato once again invited you to come inside. You tried to deny it because you don't want to see or hear other people mocking you again. Ayato reassures you, but you still doubt it.

You looked back, but the samurai group was already nowhere to be seen. Your feel your hearts break a little. They don't care about you, huh? You have no other choice but to go with Ayato.

You glanced at him. His expression brightens when he realizes you're looking at him. His lips go full of smiles and his eyes crinkle with mirth.

Maybe, living here for a while is not so bad.

You are guided to the front door of the estate. The Zen garden stretched beautifully across the manner. The white sands look soft and fresh. The lanterns glow warmly in the dark.

You felt yourself relax a little. The guards salute in their Lord's presence. They can't help but notice another person who is tagging along with their Lord. They wanted to converse but their Lord send them a warning gaze while covering the mysterious person's face with his sleeve, resulting in him half hugging the figure to himself.

Ayato suddenly feels his heart thudding fast. Warmth spread all over his body and he feels so bashful. Who knows being this close to the creator feels so comforting. It's similar to the aura enveloping him when he's in the vessel mode but way more powerful.

You are clueless. When Ayato obscures your vision with his sleeve and hugs you, you feel flustered. He smells of wood and weirdly, milk? It is soothing, but still, you're flustered.

"Ayato?! What are you doing?" you squeak. Ayato looks even more bashful. His face flushed even redder. The guards look stunned. Is someone calling their lord on a first-name basis?

"A-Ah I see. it's some important guest to you. I'll call Thoma my lord." The guard rushes inside the manor. While Ayato, who now couldn't hold his desire anymore, decide to embrace you as a way to hide your face.

"Oi, Ayato. Is this necessary?!" You look up to him. Face red and flustered. Which led to Ayato feeling even more overwhelmed.

My creator is way too cute. How can I be calm?!

Trying to reason with himself. Ayato said, "Of course, we wouldn't want to see your face now, don't we? You don't want the same thing to happen again. Right, dear?"

Your confused expression is endearing, per se. One of his hands slowly caresses your cheeks. Both of your faces flushed red because of the situation. Ayato cups your cheeks. His smile is full of love.

"I'll explain everything to you later, dear. We need to find somewhere private--"

"Shall I prepare a special room My Lord?" an unfamiliar voice suddenly joins in. You and Ayato jolt in surprise. Ayato hides your face and you hug Ayato even tighter.

Thoma stood there looking awkward. Ayato is a little bit unhappy someone disturbs him, but he is also relieved that Thoma has arrived.

"Ah, Thoma. Prepare one of the most secluded rooms in the estate." It's a question with many meanings. But, with Ayato's flustered face and his wavering voice, its meaning took a big turn.

"Are you going to do that My Lord?" Thoma asked bashfully. You, who are frozen from meeting another cast of Genshin so quickly took alert at the question that Thoma gave.

"Do what???" Your question is left ignored. Ayato quickly replied. "Yes, Thoma. We will do 'that' private thing. So you all better don't disturb me for the rest of the night. You don't want to interrupt our... 'private' moments. Don't you?"

Thoma stood straight and almost saluted, which you think is funny. "O-Of course My lord! Er- Enjoy your time in intimate moments!" He stuttered.

You choke.

Intimate moments?! What is Ayato going to do with you?! You look at Ayato with a horrified expression. He looks panicked and quickly mouthed you "Trust me" before bridal carrying you through the halls and quickly ran to one of the rooms that has been recently prepared by the servants.

Ayato shuts the door and the servant quickly hurried away, afraid they'll disturb their lord.

Ayaka, whose just arrived at the scene walked to Thoma. She closes her fans. Eyes looking at the room his brother just went in.

"What happened Thoma, why do you look so pale?"

"His lord is doing someone,"

Ayako raises his eyebrows."You mean something?"

Thome is silent, looking at her with a serious expression.

"My apologies, Lady Ayaka. But did I stutter?"

"Oh my Excellency, The Almighty Narukami Ogosho, God of Thunder!"

The gossip went wild that night.

====

LMAO, PEOPLE THINKING AYATO GONNA EAT THEM CAKES

But in reality both of them just awkwardly conversing. Help them

Thoma : Ayato have someone special!

Ladies in Inazuma : Oh no!

Creator : [No clue] Oh My God, You have someone special? Why didn’t you tell me?

Ayato : [Groaning] How can someone be so endearingly stupid.

TAGLIST!! : @kazuhira07 @karmawonders @ello-its-me-ya-boi @emperatris-rinaka

#ayato kamisato #genshin impact ayato #genshin impact theory #sagau #genshin self aware au #kamisato ayato #yandere #yandere kamisato ayato #genshin thoma #imposter!reader #DreaminginStory #genshin cult au #genshin impact sagau #genshin impact #self aware genshin

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e-munson666 · 2 years

Note

I kind of imagine billy as a very very dom guy (especially dark billy) with sadistic kinks, here's some head cannons of mine before I start the request lol.

VERY BIG SADIST LIKE WTF 💀💀 I imagine that he'd purposely pinch you at times just to see you flinch and hiss. He is also a bit of a masochist himself, enjoying paint mixed with pleasure (though he doesn't like it when you hurt him with no sexual intent)

He uses nicknames like 'bunny' and 'kitten' or sometimes even 'baby bunny'

Okay now that that's out of the way- here is the actual request- Dark billy x female reader smut (duh) where pretty much he dubcons his childhood friend after finding out she had moved to Hawkins.

As soon as they introduce themselves to eachother again he begins to act, odd? The reader doesn't think much of it though, letting him lead her to his house were he does smutty things lol

Some lines you could use

"Awe.. baby bunny, don't you enjoy it when I pinch you?"

"Kitten.. I know you like it"

Ik it's vauge but I like to give you room to add what you think would fit :) ily, have fun!

This is my first attempt at Billy.

He's out of my realm, but I love this reader so I'm gonna do my best! ❤

18+ dubcon, dark themes, mean!dom!Billy. Let's just say reader is named Kat in lou of y/n

🖤Lady Hellfire🖤

Last week, Billy Hargrove got the surprise of his life. His childhood friend, his first real crush, had moved to Hawkins. Billy knew it was fate, especially when he laid his eyes on you in the hall, seeing what a beautiful young woman you were growing into.

You were being ogled by a bunch of other guys already, something Billy took notice of, and immediately disapproved of. Especially when one of those guys was Steve fucking Harrington, there's no way he was going to lose out to the former king of Hawkins high.

Billy started following you around school, always showing up when Steve would start talking to you, putting an arm around you and leading you away. "Hey kitty Kat" he would say winking down at you as he walked you in the opposite direction.

"Bbbbiiillllyyyy" you would whine, hating that he brought back his old nickname for you. It made you blush now, it gave you a feeling you weren't used to having for your old friend.

"Awe kitten don't be shy" Billy teased, pinching your cheek and watching you wince. He got a weird kick out seeing you squirm, loving it when he would get a reaction from his pinches or slaps.

They were almost constant, any time you interacted with Billy he was pinching you until you cried, or he'd harshly slap your ass or thigh, chuckling as you whined before him.

The rumors started pretty quickly, that Billy Hargrove swooped in and snagged the new girl already, (he may have started that in the locker room) but you didn't know that, not until you chased Steve down after school, wanting to hangout.

"Steve" you called, seeing him stop and turn towards you, a weary smile on his face.

"Hey Kitty" Steve joked, also one to enjoy giving you silly nicknames.

"Steve, do you want to hangout for a bit?" You boldy ask, noticing the confused look that spread across his face.

"Won't Billy be upset?"

"What? Why does it matter what Billy thinks?" You raise your eyebrow at Steve as you spoke.

"Oh uh, he was telling some guys in the locker room that he had locked you down" Steve responded searching your face.

You let out an audible laugh, looking up at Steve, "that is so not whats happening, we've just known each other since we were kids, nothing is going on there I promise" you say, looping your arm into his, smiling up at him.

"Oh, well in that case Kitty, I would love to hangout. Let's go get some food yeah?" Steve asked, giddy with excitement. He placed a kiss to your forehead as he led you to his car.. He was so happy to hear that you were still on the market, because Steve had it bad for you.

Billy had watched your little interaction with Steve, and watched as that fucker Harrington kissed your head. Billy knew it was time to step it up a notch, time to put you in your place. Under him, submitting to him, crying for him.......and ONLY him.

Billy decided to wait at your house, your Father not hesitating to let Billy in, excited for the opportunity to catch up with the young man. He told your father he wanted to surprise you, so your dad led him to your bedroom, wishing him luck as he left the house to go to the pub.

You had a wonderful time with Steve, getting food from Benny's, sharing a milkshake, and holding hands. He dropped you off at your house, walking you to the front door before saying goodnight. He leaned in for a cheek kiss when you quickly turned your face to crash your lips onto his.

"I'll see you tomorrow at school Stevie, okay?" You coo, twirling a piece of his hair. "Of course Kitty, I'll wait for you by your locker before the first bell" he responds, kissing you once more before retreating to his car. You shut the front door behind you, giddy and smiling from your time with Steve.

You called out for your dad, figuring he was out when you didn't get a response. You made your way to your bedroom, not bothering to check your surroundings as you started to undress. You were down to your bra and skirt, when you felt a presence, felt eyes on you. You quickly glanced up into the large mirror on your closet door.

In the reflection you saw him, Billy, with an angry look on his face, perched on the corner of your bed.

"Hey kitty Kat" Billy chuckles as you spin around, loving the scared look on your face, "surprised to see me?"

He quickly stood from the bed and made his way over to you, still frozen in your place. He wrapped one arm around your waist and harshly pulled you into him, using his other hand to trace up and down the strap of your bra.

"I saw you leave school with Harrington Kitten" "tisk.....now we can't have that" he states, pinching your side so hard you squeal.

"Billy....what.....why are you here?" You manage to get out, trying to shove him away, only to be met with a harsh slap to the face.

You looked up at him with watery eyes, cheek burning and red from his heavy hand. "Oh whats the matter little kitty? You didn't like that?" He teases, snaking his hands to the backs of your thighs, squeezing them tight before lifting you up into his arms, laughing as you struggle to get away.

"Calm down Kitten, stop wiggling around so much, I said STOP" Billy tosses you down on the bed, grabbing your tiny wrists with one large hand and flinging them up over your head.

He kicked your legs apart with his knee, sliding into the space between your thighs. You looked up at him, tears welling in your eyes, a large red outline from where Billy slapped you.

"So pretty like this kitten" he says, taking his free hand and cupping your chin. He leaned down to place a harsh kiss to your lips, feeling you once again struggle under him.

"You can squirm all you want little kitty, I can feel how wet you are on my leg"

"Billy, please" you beg, not knowing for what, but you bucking your hips into Billy's leg gave him all the signal he needed.

He went to work un buttoning his pants, sliding them down along with his boxers, before taking the tiny fabric of your panties in his hand and ripping them clean off your body.

You squirmed more when you felt the weight of Billy's tip at your entrance, knowing this was going to hurt.

"Stay still kitten, or this will hurt a lot worse" he laughs, slamming himself inside of you. You let out a loud, pained cry, music to Billy's ears.

"Too big.....too much.....please no Billy" you whine, feeling your body being split in half. You had been with one other guy before, but it was disappointing and you could barely feel him in there. This was different, this was painful, throbbing, you were sure your insides were tearing around him.

Billy just chuckled at you, starting to thrust into your rough and deep. You moaned and whined under him, repeating it was too much as he continued to slam into you.

"Its too much? Hmm baby? Daddys cock too big for his little baby?" He whispered in your ear, grinning at the moans that left your mouth as he fucked you into the mattress.

"Thats right kitten, you like this don't you, like daddy's cock splitting your tiny little body in half?" You moan again, arching your back at his words.

Billy slapped your already red cheek, looking at your teary face. "Words kitten, I want to hear you SAY it" he demands, grabbing your throat as he kept up his pace.

"Yes Billy, I like it" you cry out, feeling your orgasm coming close.

Slap. "No no my little slut, that's not what you call me now" slap "say it" he slams into you, deeper than he has gone before.

You let out a pained cry, body starting to shake as your climax came to a peak, "fuck, yes, yes daddy, I love your cock" you whimper, clenching around him as he fucks your through your orgasm.

Sensitive, and sore, you whine as he continues his pace, trying to squirm away as he chased his own release.

"No, little slut, you aren't going anywhere until I'm done with you" Billy says, finally unpinning your wrists with his one hand and taking the other from your throat to grab your hips and keep you still.

By the time Billy filled you up you were a writhing, crying mess below him, crying his name out in both pain and pleasure, and he was eating it up. When he finally pulled out, he looked over at you as he dressed himself, knowing he did enough to abuse your body to the point of exhaustion.

He left the room long enough to grab a towel to clean you up with, placing little kisses all over you as he helped get some pj's on, before getting into bed with you and pulling you into his chest.

You hummed as Billy stroked your hair, eyes drooping, waiting for sleep. "I meant it you know" he said as you dosed off, "you're all mine now babygirl" he laughed as he watched you attempt to lift your head up at him, before sleep completely took over.

Now Billy just has to deal with that fucking Harrington kid, and he'll have you all to himself.

#fanfic #stranger things #billy hargrove #dark billy hargrove #billy hargove x reader #billy hargove imagine #billy harringrove #steve the hair harrington #king steve #send me asks #asks and replies #character asks

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stylesparker · 2 years

Text

cruel summer

PAIRING: Conrad Fisher x Fem!Reader

WORD COUNT: 9.2k

TW: alcohol, smoking, attempted SA (nothing happens), car accident, a lot of arguing, fighting, and tears, mentions of cancer, implied parental neglect, hurt/comfort, BellyxJeremiah, lots of dialogue (sorry!!)

A/N: inspired by cruel summer by taylor swift - the gang all call reader Peaches, but by the end I definitely forgot about it LOL. I don’t think I’ve had to ever put warnings on a fic before, so pls lmk if I missed anything! It’s long, but worth it (at least I hope so)!!

It was early morning, about 1:27 am to be exact, and you had no inkling of sleep in the past 24 hours. Despite the summer heat even in the middle of the night, you had cracked the window in your room to let gusts of wind blow through every once in awhile. All that can be heard are the crickets and the soft music of your vinyl playing in the nighttime air.

With neither of your parents home—some business trip, again—there was no problem in playing your vinyl record as loud as you wanted, though you think your neighbor might mind a little bit. The guitar that you got last Christmas from Belly lays abandoned across from you on the bed after you had tried playing it for the past half an hour. No music or instrument has been able to tire you out enough to fall asleep, so you think you’re on the verge of hitting yourself in the head with a baseball bat so you pass out. Before you’re able to entertain this idea, your phone buzzes and lights up next to you on your nightstand.

As you lean up off your elbows to check what it is, you wonder if it’s someone saving you from the torment of being awake by texting you if you’re up. It only takes you a few seconds to read iMessage from Connie on the screen before you’re jetting your arm out to grab a hold of your phone.

Connie: I’m guessing this means you can’t sleep lol

You: ofc it does!!

Connie: I’ll be there in five

You smile, a soft grin forming on your face that makes you leave the comfort of your bed to try and tackle your hair and the state of your face before he gets there. You don’t really know when you started caring about how you looked around your childhood best friend, or when the thought of seeing him sent tingles of excitement through your body. But you accepted this change—if by accepted you mean you shoved this idea into the very deep corners of your mind and ignore it, then yes. You accepted it.

For some reason you feel like 5 minutes is 5 hours when you’re waiting for Conrad to appear outside below your window. But you’re not left waiting for too long, a rock hitting your window merely moments later indicating his arrival. After looking at yourself in the mirror for a split second longer, you casually walk up to your window and open it.

He stands there at the bottom with his hands in the pockets of his sweats, a T-shirt over his top half, and a smirk adorning his lips.

“Hey!” He calls out.

You tilt your head and smile at him, “hey, you.” You quickly lean over to check if the ladder is still there before you glance back over at him. “What’s with you and constantly coming to my window? Ya’ know I have a door.”

It’s easy to tease him sometimes, especially when you know he probably won’t come back with something super fast. But tonight is not one of those sometimes.

“I don’t care,” he shrugs, “I like to follow through on tradition.”

You roll your eyes playfully, shifting the ladder more in front of you so you can get out more easily. He holds it at the bottom as you make your way down stealthy, just like every time before this one. As you land on the grass with a soft crunch, you turn around to come face to chest with him. He’s always held a couple inches over you, so you tilt your head up to look at him. Taking your hand, he pulls you with him so you start walking, and you give him a questioning look.

“Just follow me, yeah?”

...

“Con, seriously?” You laugh, side eyeing him as he runs away from you to get on top of the playground. He bends down, quite a lot since he’s pretty tall, and inches his way forward so his feet slide under the bar and hang below him. He sits there patiently, and you stare until he motions for you to come over. Shaking your head, you climb up the steps and sit down next to him, making him scoot over to give you more room. “Now, do you wanna tell me why you took me to a playground?” You tease.

He shrugs, turning away from you to grab something out of his pocket. “It’s quiet here. I come here a lot when I want to be alone.”

It’s silent after that, you don’t say anything right away. You divert your attention and try to focus on other things; the bright stars that fill the darkness of the night sky, the swishes of the wind against the leaves of the trees, the slight movement of the swings. Anything but the boy next to you.

“What’s so different from last summer?” You whisper your question, despite the fact he’s the only person around. He stares out at the mulch in front of him before he answers.

“I don’t know.”

You almost groan at that. Everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong last summer. But that was all over, everything is better, so what is it now? What could be making him so torn up this summer?

Before you can think any further, you hear a slight click! from next to you, making you look over and gasp at what you see.

“Conrad!” You say his name disapprovingly. He looks at you from behind his cigarette and lighter, chuckling at your distressed state. He also finds it cute you only ever call him Conrad when you’re mad at him.

“Wha’?” He asks innocently.

“Why the hell are you smoking?”

“Why the hell not?”

“Con-” you close your eyes, taking a deep breath, “Why are you still smoking? I thought you quit.”

He nods, “I did. For a while.”

“Then-”

“Y/N,” he interrupts. It makes you stop. He gives you that stare he usually sends you when he wants to tell you something, but can’t actually make himself say it.

You look at the ground, “Oh.” You want to comfort him, but you don’t really know how. He’s never been the type to be super affectionate, even though when you guys were younger he was always the nicest one to you. When the other boys would steal from you, he’d give it back. When they’d push you around, he’d stand up for you. When you cried, he always gave you a gentle hug that had you feeling instantly better. He was there, more than what you can say for other people. It had never been the other way around, so you were kind of out of your depth.

You eye the cig in his hand, his fingers barely even holding it, just slightly so he can keep it on the edge of his lips. He looks… he looks so… pretty.

“Can I have one?”

His eyes dart to yours, scanning your face to see if you were serious, and he laughs. His shoulders shake with him and he pulls it from his mouth.

“No!” He shakes his head again, his hair slightly bouncing in the front, “No!”

“Why not?”

“Cause I said so!”

“That’s not a reason,” you argue, squinting your eyes at him. He huffs, looking at you with an amused look on his face.

“They’re not good for you.” He responds.

“Then why are you doing it, hm?” You pull your knees to your chest and tilt your head at him. God, he hates when you do that. The head tilting thing.

“I’m older,” is his only response.

“By like, two MONTHS-”

“Doesn’t matter,” he smiles, leaning slightly towards you.

“Yeah, it does. It’s always mattered.” You giggle, leaning into him.

It takes you a minute to realize how close you really are to him, though he noticed right away. His first thought was to move, to get out of your space. But, something in him told him not to, convinced him to stay this close for a little bit longer. Maybe having you this close would make him feel better. Letting himself think about you was so much easier than forcing himself not to, and right now, the only thing he could think about was leaning just a tiny bit closer and closing the gap separating you.

He was so close, just barely an inch away, you could practically feel his soft breath on your lips. You almost feel like you’re forgetting to breathe, but your heart is practically beating out of your chest at the same time. You hope he can’t hear it in the silence. The hand that was holding the lighter puts it back in his pocket, the other tucking the cig away behind his ear where you hadn’t noticed it before. His left comes down, resting it gently on top of your own so as not to startle you. You glance down at his hand over yours, breathing in deeply. All you can think about is him.

Him, him, him.

Connie. The boy you grew up with and who knows everything single little thing about you.

Conrad. The boy who you think sits before you now.

You don’t know if they’re different, but you hope to god they aren’t. Every memory with him in it seems to fade, the only one really mattering at the moment is this, whatever it is. You want him to stay with you, be the same Conrad you know he really is. But you’re scared that he isn’t who you think he is anymore.

You don’t have much time to think about it much longer as loud sirens catch your attentions and break the moment. He pulls away from you, quicker than you wished he would have, but still keeps a respectable distance. You turn more slightly away from him, nothing indicating that anything would have happened. He smiles curtly, looks at his watch that reads 3:40 am, and stands up on his feet before extending a hand towards you. You take it nervously, but he doesn’t read into it. Not that he would, you think.

…

“You’re telling me you ALMOST kissed?” Belly whisper screams. Your hands fly out and wave at her in an attempt to shut her up.

“Belly!” You hiss, “Shut your mouth!” She giggles to herself, and takes a sip of her margarita.

“We all know Conrad has always had a special place in his heart for you, it would be no surprise if he liked you back! So stop avoiding him, and go talk to him!” She encourages, but it only makes you shake your head in denial.

“No, Belly, he- Conrad does not-” you try to justify yourself but she only gives you a disappointing look.

“Peaches, c’mon. If you’re trying to say he doesn’t, you are BLIND!” She sets down her drink, puts her hands on your shoulders and shakes you until you try pushing her off. “BLIND I tell you!”

“Ugh, you are annoying sometimes, Bells.” You look across the pool to where him and Jere are playing volleyball while Steven and Shayla reff. Laurel and Susannah sit on the beach chairs away from the trajectory of the ball so they don’t accidentally get hit. You sigh in frustration.

“Yeah, because you know I’m right!” She whispers and winks, making you slap her arm which makes her fight back. And suddenly both of you are pushing each other and falling into the pool, gaining the other's attention. They all laugh as you and Belly attempt to drown each other, which Jeremiah takes as an invite to join in.

“Cannonball!” He screams at the top of his lungs, running at full speed and jumping into the pool only a few feet away from you guys. You both yell but it doesn’t matter, his huge splash hits you guys in the face and you try to splash him in return.

“Oh my god, guys! I have the best idea!” Steven exclaims. “Why don’t we have a beach day!”

“Smart thinking, Stevie! Let’s get a move on!” Jere pushes himself out of the pool, drawing Belly’s attention to his dripping wet figure. She catches you watching her, so she blushes and fans you away. You laugh loudly, following her out of the pool to follow the rest of them.

“Be careful!” Both the older women yell, and they earn a thumbs up from everyone in return. You pack into two cars and head to the beach, music blaring the whole way there. When you arrive, everyone gathers up to get things out of the car and head their way down.

Steven and Shayla end up in the front with the alcohol, Belly and Jeremiah follow them with all the chairs, which leaves Conrad to fall in line with you in the back with all the towels. While the others talk to one another, it’s quiet for a moment between the both of you. When you face each other, you try talking at the same time, which makes both of you laugh and look away.

“You go first,” you offer.

“No you,” he says.

“I insist!”

“Okay, fine.” He relents, making you smile to yourself. “Did you get any sleep?”

You shake your head, “Only about an hour. You?”

“Same,” he agrees. It’s a little uncomfortable, only for a split second. Then everyone drops their things and makes a beeline for the water, which has Conrad coming up with an idea. He takes the towels from your arms and throws them onto the chairs, and before you know it, he’s ducking and picking you up bridal style, sprinting towards the water.

“Connie!” You scream, throwing your arms around his neck to avoid falling. But you know he’s got you. He laughs into your neck and dunks you in the water. The others look at each other knowingly, but the boys decide to join in on the fun and dunk the other girls.

You spend the next four hours swimming, surfing, and drinking on the beach, and soon enough, the sun starts to set and everyone is practically drunk off their asses. Conrad and Shayla didn’t drink, so they basically named themselves the DD’s of the night. While Steven was trying to get Shayla to make out with him, and Belly and Jeremiah were running around the beach screaming, you pull Conrad’s arm so he can stand up and walk with you.

“Come onnnn, walk on the beach with me.” You beg him, and he rolls his eyes but obliges anyway. He holds on to your hand so you don’t fall, but your drunken mind doesn’t seem to care at all.

“You drank a lot tonight, Peaches,” He comments. You giggle and drop your head onto his arm.

“Nooo, I didn’t! And stop! I hate when you guys call me that,” you complain, but he grins at you, pulling you into his side.

“No you don’t.”

You look up at him, “No. I don’t.” You both stop walking along the water and stand there, letting your feet sink into the sand and let the water soak your toes. You want to say something, but you don’t know where to start. He ends up starting for you.

“Y/N, I-I want to talk to you… but I don’t know if this is the right moment.” He looks away.

“Why not? I’m not that drunk.”

“I think you are,” He assures.

“Really, I’m not. I know what I’m saying, and I’ll remember.” He nods, but you don’t really believe that he believes you. “Conrad-” you sigh, “I think I know… what you want to talk about? And I wanna talk about the same thing, but I-I don’t know-”

“I love you.” Conrad blurts out. Your gaze that had flitted away from him snaps back, and you think those words might have sobered you up. You go to respond but he stops you. “I’m sorry,” he shuts his eyes, trying to find the words, “I didn’t mean to say that, no- I mean I do! I do! I-I didn’t mean to blurt it like that-”

“Yeah, yeah I got that,” you nod, grinning. He cuts off his rambling and stares at you laughing to yourself, his brows furrowed in confusion.

“You.. are laughing?” Your smile fades, only for a moment, but your fears start to grab a hold of you. You don’t laugh anymore, and your eyes go down towards his feet. “And now you’re sad? I’m sorry-”

“Con.” His hands grab yours and he holds them close to his chest.

“What is it?” He murmurs. You get a hold of yourself before you say anything, but you squeeze his hands, hopefully letting him know it’s not him.

“I’m scared,” you whisper, and before he can say anything you continue, “I’m scared because I feel the same way but… you’re… you. You’re Conrad, you’ve always been Connie, and- and I don’t- I can’t mess things up.” It doesn’t take him very long to realize what you’re saying, and he straightens.

“You feel the same way?” He whispers back, his eyes light up with joy. You tilt your head down, but he lifts his finger and touches it gently to your chin, bringing your gaze back to him. “Y/N,” he says your name so softly, it almost makes you want to faint. His hair is so soft, blowing in the wind, and his eyes, oh god his eyes, they’re so blue and they make you want to drown in them. Even though you want to, you can’t look away. His hands come up to hold your face, sliding to your neck and up to rest gently on your jaw. He holds you closely to him, and his eyes never flutter away from yours. You can’t help your hands traveling up his chest, grabbing tightly onto his shirt like he’ll float away or if he’s some sort of lifeline.

“I do,” you profess. “But I don’t want things to change.”

“Nothing will change, we’ll always be us. Just, with the added fact that I’m gonna kiss you all the time.” That makes you giggle and he can’t help it anymore. Before he can ask, or you can even ask either, you lean in at the same time, and finally, his lips touch yours. You expected it to feel like an explosion went off, or fireworks exploding in the sky, or maybe a shock of electricity through your body. You thought his lips would be cold since the rest of him usually is, and he’d be daring and rough, roaming his hands over your body since that’s what you see when he’s with other girls.

But, you’re not just another girl to him.

He’s warm, his hands stay rested on your face until they move forward and grip around your neck so you stay molded against him, and his lips are so gentle on yours. He’s almost shy, and he doesn’t set off fireworks. He feels like home. It’s like when you first step into the ocean and you have this sudden feeling of relief, like you finally got to where you wanted to be. It’s like opening the oven after you made a fresh batch of cookies and this wave of warmth blankets you from head to toe. It’s when Conrad finds your eye from across the room and suddenly all you can think about is him; being near him, being with him, having his arms wrapped around you so all you feel is safe.

His thumbs rub softly against your cheeks, and that’s when you open your eyes and realize he’s looking at you. It comforts you that he’s looking at you like he usually does, which you had never realized before that he was always looking at you like he loved you.

“I thought you’d be cold,” you murmur.

“I thought you would be warm.”

…

You didn’t tell Belly, or anyone for that matter, that you and Conrad started dating. It was too new, too many unknown waters not explored yet, so you both agreed it would be better waiting. It was almost fun sneaking around, finding closets to make out in, falling asleep in each other's rooms, holding hands under the dinner table. No one would suspect anything since this was always how you two were. Practically attached to the hip since birth.

But you could tell he was getting antsy. After about three weeks, you could tell he was wanting to come clean. He wanted to hold hands with you just to hold hands, he wanted to hug you longer than a friend should, he wanted you to sit in his lap with your arms around him freely, with no worry of judgement or fear. Unfortunately, you weren’t there yet. You still liked keeping your relationship to yourselves. In your head, it was easier, and if something were to happen, it wouldn’t destroy the family. Not that you hoped something would, but the fear was still settled in the corners of your mind and you didn’t want to risk it.

It was Friday night, you and Conrad had accompanied Belly and Jeremiah to a party since Laurel and Susannah didn’t want them going alone. They had complained, but it didn’t get anywhere and they still ended up in the backseat of Conrad’s car.

“We are not children, Y/N, we do not need chaperones!” Belly whines, hanging on to the back of the passenger seat where you sit.

“Conrad and I are only doing what we were told, so bring it up with your mothers.” Belly flops back down in her seat and groans, though Jeremiah gets a little smirk on his face.

“Well at least we can try to get these two to have fun, Belly, since the last time they were at a party they hung out in the corner the whole time!” Conrad glares at his brother through the rearview mirror.

“And that’s where we will be if you need us.” He parks alongside the street in front of the house, letting the two younger ones get out of the car before he said anything to you. Which you thought that’s what he was waiting for, but as soon as they step in the door, he grabs your face and kisses you. When he pulls away with a small grin, you blink at him in bewilderment.

“Now what was that for?” you asked.

His eyes dart down to your lips before he responds with, “I’ve been waiting to do that the whole time.”

You bring him back in for another kiss, ruffling his hair a bit that makes him pout, “Well, get what you want now, because you won’t get another until after the party.” This makes him frown. Without you noticing, he rolls his eyes, but gives you another anyway. He steps out of the car, and before you have the chance to open yours, he’s already on the other side opening it for you, then he hands you his keys like he always does. You’re hoping what you said didn’t put him in a sour mood for the rest of the night, but you guess you’ll just have to wait and see.

…

“See, I told you we’d be able to get her on the dance floor.” Jeremiah winks at Conrad, nudging his arm to get him to acknowledge him. Conrad doesn’t move, his eyes just glued to your frame as you dance with Belly in the middle of the room. The way you move your hips to the music, the way you throw your arms around Belly, the way that you’re getting other guys' attention. He wants to grab you and pull you away from everybody as fast as he can, but he also knows it’s not fair. Even though this usually isn’t his scene, he would do anything to go out there and dance with you. But, he’s doing everything he can to respect what you want. So as Jeremiah analyzes his brother by the way he’s looking at you, Belly is talking your ear off about those particular boys.

“You guys would be perfect together, and I can tell by the way you look at each other you want it, so why not just do it!”

“Because, Belly…” you trail off, trying to come up with something to say, “It’ll… mess things up, ya’ know?”

“How?” She questions, and it seems she genuinely doesn’t see the problem with it.

“Yeah, I mean,” you sigh, “I’m not gonna lie, we’ve talked about it, but we’re keeping it cool. Nothing super official in case something were to happen-”

Her eyes practically bulge out of her head, “WHAT- you’ve talked about it?!”

You laugh quietly. If only she knew. “Yeah… yeah, we have, but I’m not gonna risk the family, okay? I can’t let our relationship get mixed up with everyone, it would ruin everything.” She shuts her gaping mouth for a second, and her eyes get this shameful look. “Belly… what are you hiding.” You demand, more than ask.

“Well,” she starts. The quick skirt of her eyes in the boy's direction gives it away immediately.

“YOU’RE WITH JEREMIAH?” You exclaim. Her hand claps over your mouth in an instant.

“Don’t say it that loud!”

“You’re with Jeremiah?” You whisper scream. She rolls her eyes at you and shifts you in the opposite direction of them.

“Not exactly…”

Your face goes blank, “No… Bells, please don’t tell me…”

“It’s just for,” she shrugs, “Ya’ know.”

“UGH,” you gag and look away from her, “BELLY!”

“What I’m trying to get at is that if we be like this, you can be like that… but more official.” Her straight face curves up into a smile. You give her the most disgusted face you can muster.

“I can’t believe you told me that.” She shrugs, but you can tell she’s holding back a laugh. “And what are you? Sixteen!”

“I’m seventeen, bitch.”

“Same thing.” You wave your hand. You look over at Conrad, but they aren’t there.

“Hey.” On your left, a guy stands with his hands in his pockets and a smug look across his lips. You nod your head in greeting, continuing to dance with Belly in hopes he’d get the hint you weren’t interested and leave. “I saw you dancing, I thought I’d come over and see if you’d rather dance with me.” He’s kind of cute, probably about six foot, maybe an inch shorter than Conrad, and his brown eyes make you hesitant, just for a moment.

What if I just danced with him? You mentally palm yourself in the face for thinking that. No, Conrad wouldn’t do that to me. It’s not worth losing him. Would it really be that bad if they found out?

“Sorry, I’m not interested.” You kindly smile at the guy and turn away from him, but his hand comes out to grab your shoulder.

“Hey, don’t be rude, I just wanna dance.” You furrow your eyebrows, giving him a look.

“I’m not, dude. I just told you I wasn’t interested. I’m gonna keep dancing with my friend.” He grins at that.

“In that case, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if this turned into a trio?”

You say sternly, “Actually I would. So, please, I told you kindly, we’re not interested.”

He gets closer, “I didn’t hear her saying any-”

“I’m not,” Belly says quickly, “We’re gonna go now.” She grabs your hand, pulling you in the direction of Conrad and Jeremiah, but he’s quick, taking a hold of your hips and roughly pulling you against him, while daring her to come closer.

“C’mon ladies, let’s have some fun. I know you want to.” You make eye contact with Belly, her eyes are struck with panic. You contemplate what to do, because you can’t risk Belly getting hurt.

“Belly, go.” She runs off, noticing the boys aren’t there and she scans the room, hoping to find at least one of them. As soon as she’s around the corner, you face the guy in front of you. “You really can’t take no for an answer, huh?” He doesn’t respond, just gets closer to you. In your head, you know you should be pushing away and trying to get out as fast as possible, but for some reason you can’t move. The fear he’s gonna try something has you frozen in place.

“Get the fuck away from her,” you hear a growling voice say.

Conrad.

You see his hands come up and push the guy away from you in an instant. You feel another body behind you, and taking a quick look, you see Jeremiah shielding Belly.

“Woahh man, what’s your problem?”

“She said no asshole, so get lost.”

“Who the fuck are you, her boyfriend?” Conrad’s mouth opens, but it quickly closes.

“Why should that matter? Now leave.” The guy grunts, flipping him off before he looks at you and winks. You take a deep breath, closing your eyes and stabling yourself now that he’s gone. “Y/N, are you alright? Did he hurt you?” When your eyes open, Conrad is standing in front of you, and he’s the most worried you’ve ever seen him.

“I’m fine, really-”

“Hey guys, what’s up!” Steven yells, walking over with Shayla with his arm around her shoulders. Their smiles drop as soon as they see the looks on everyone’s faces. “Are… you guys okay?”

“We were just leaving,” Conrad grabs your arm, but you flinch away from him. The boys don’t notice it, but Belly and Shayla do, and they give each other a quick worried glance.

“Conrad, I’m fine. We’re not gonna leave.” His jaw tightens, and you can tell he’s mad. Everyone stares at the two of you in confusement, observing the way you reach back out to him, grabbing his arm to pull him with you. “Just, come outside with me.”

Neither of you spare any of them a glance as you pull him in the direction of a door that can give you some privacy. As soon as you spot the front door, you’re swinging the door open and dragging him to the front porch, excusing yourself between a couple people as you stalk down the steps. The minute the both of you are out of range, you turn to him with anger written clear as day all over your face.

“I don’t get you,” You snap. “I can get that you were mad about that guy, but to just tell our friends we’re up and leaving the party? What is with you!”

“Y/N, if Belly hadn’t found us, what do you think that guy would have done? Give you a sweet kiss and let you be on your way?” He scoffs, “No, he would’ve-”

“Stop it!” You seethe, “I don’t need a reminder, Conrad! The fact that you think I have to be reminded why I can’t go literally anywhere alone-”

He laughs, “I didn’t say that! Did I say that? I'm saying that you can’t just trust anybody, Y/N! Especially guys like him-”

“You were a guy like him once.” You say quietly, and his eyes harden.

“You’re kidding me right? You think I would have ever forced myself on a girl?-”

“No,” you interrupt, “I don’t think that. But you were a dick, you were a guy that girls wanted but tried to avoid. You know what happens when you fall in love with someone who’s best just isn’t enough? You lose a piece of yourself. You lend your heart to somebody that can’t love you enough, so even when they do the best they can, you still end up broken in the end.”

He’s scaringly quiet. You don’t know what made you say that, and whether or not you regret it. But the look on his face is making you think you shouldn’t have said it.

“You know what I was going through,” he says, with the most heartbroken look on his face you’ve ever seen. “You know, so how could you say that? My mom-” he falters for a second, “and the cancer? My dad, everything was shit. I know I was a dick, I know, but things got better and I changed! How could you say that now, unless you feel like I’m still that same guy?”

His words bring tears to your eyes, “You know what I was going through too. I don’t want you to be the new him.” The mention of your ex-boyfriend makes him furious again.

“Y/N, you’re fucking serious right now? You are comparing me to that guy?”

“No! Con-” you huff, “I’m saying I can’t go through that again. I don’t think you are but I don’t want that to happen to you! You aren’t like the other guys, Conrad! I’ve known you my whole life, we can’t screw it up! You’ve been my family when I didn’t have one.” You add quietly, “When I don’t have one.”

He softens, just a little bit, “That’s why.” You don’t speak. “That’s why you don’t want to tell them. I get it, I do, but you’re not gonna lose us! Me, Jeremiah, Belly, Steven, we’re not going anywhere!”

“But if we broke up, what do you think would happen?” You say harsher than you mean, “You think I’ll still have them? If things go to shit between us, your brother and the people who your mother considers family aren’t gonna choose me!”

“You’ve always been family! What the hell are you talking about? Just because your mom wasn’t a part of ours growing up, doesn’t excuse you from being one of us!” He moves closer, but you hold a hand up.

“Conrad.” No. He knows that voice. You’re running before you have the chance of getting hurt. You’re running from him.

“Y/N, I know you’re scared, but I am too. You realize that don’t you? I’m scared, I have been since the beginning, but I know us and that’s not gonna happen, okay?”

“It could,” the tears start rolling down your face.

He’s panicking now, “It could happen in every relationship! But what is love if it’s not something worth fighting for?”

“It’s not something that’s real.”

This is the exact moment that both hearts shatter. Where everything that either of you had believed about love is gone, and no amount of apologies tonight will fix. A part of him knows in time it won’t feel so hopeless–love, that is–but he’s not too sure if a future with you is something he will have. Like he’d hoped.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “I-I have to go, I can’t stay here.” You walk away from him towards his car, and he knows where you're going. “I’ll drive it back later, okay. I just- I need to go.” It’s like your body is moving on auto-pilot, you don’t exactly know what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, but as you get in the driver’s seat of his car and look out the window, you see the boy that you’re in love with and all you can do is drive away.

You’ve been sitting here for maybe an hour? Two hours? You’re not really sure, but every second that you’ve sat here you’ve broken your heart a little bit more. You stare at the night sky, no stars in sight, but a bright shining moon staring right back at you. The sand is cold between your fingers and the water is too between your toes, the breeze in the air has goosebumps rising on your skin. It’s your favorite place on the beach, despite what the others may think, it’s not the group’s usual spot. It’s yours. And Conrad is the only one who knows about it.

It’s far from any houses, there’s some hills and fences, but the fences only close it off. It's very close to the end of the beach. You love it here because you’ve never once ran into anyone here. In your head, you like to claim that you’re the only one who’s ever gone here, though you know it’s probably not true. It’s nice to just have a sanctuary of your own where you can feel the air on your skin and have the water at your feet, somewhere where you can imagine a different life that isn’t your own. Always with the same people, never the same circumstances.

You glance down at your watch, reading 12:03 am.

Crap.

You know your parents aren’t gonna care, but you definitely know Susannah is. You were supposed to come back with the rest of them, she’s gonna wonder why you’re driving up to her house with her son’s car in the middle of the night. You quickly grab the keys out of your pocket and make a beeline for the car. Throwing the door open, and quickly starting the car, you’re pulling out and driving down the street in a matter of minutes.

Conrad is probably worried sick too. SHIT!

You try not to go too fast, but you’re about 10 miles above the speed limit now. You don’t see any other cars in sight, so you go a bit faster.

I am such a shit person, he didn’t deserve that.

You blink the tears away from your eyes, trying to focus on the road in front of you.

I have to fix it, I can’t lose him already. I never even told him-

It was so quick you barely even had a chance to look. A car comes speeding around the corner from the left, probably not have even seen you either. The impact is hard, painful, and devastating to your ears. You see the car flip over, blood, bright headlights, you feel your head snap back against the seat, the airbags deploy, you see the face of the boy you never got to tell that you loved him.

You know you’re awake, you’re not dead. You can’t be. You feel too much pain for that to be true. Attempting to move is not an option, but you see your phone on the broken windshield, and you know this is your only chance. You don’t think the phone will pick up, but you still call the person you need most.

…

“Honey, she was in a car accident.”

“I need you to come to the hospital right now. She’s going into surgery.”

“Connie?”

“Conrad!”

His eyes snap open, head jolting to the right, looking at his mom who peers down at him sadly.

“Why are you sitting here? Come sit with us.” The hallway is sort of dark, but with the glow of the vending machine in front of him, he can make out everyone that’s sitting in the seats ten feet away.

Belly, Jeremiah, Steven, Shayla, Laurel. No sign of your parents.

“She didn’t call me.” He whispers, barely audible.

“What, baby?”

“She didn’t- Who did she call?” He finally looks up at his mother, who has the face of grief written on her face. “I don’t understand, everyone was here before I was?” She gulps before taking a seat beside her son. She pulls him into her side, letting him rest his head on her shoulder before she speaks.

“Y/N called me.” His eyes widen and before he has a chance, she continues. “Um…” she holds back a sob, “She um- she said her mom wasn’t picking up, so she thought she’d have a better chance of calling me.”

“Did she say anything else?”

“She was crying,” she nods, “Said something about needing to tell you she was sorry, but the phone cut out.” Susannah wipes her tears with her shirt, rubbing Conrad’s shoulder lightly. “Why did she say that?”

He chokes up, “We got in a fight. I let her take my car from the party so she could be alone for awhile, but she wasn’t answering my calls so I figured I’d just try in the morning-” His hands come up to cover his eyes, rubbing them harshly, “God, I’m so stupid, I shouldn’t have let her go alone.”

“Don’t put this on yourself, Connie-”

“But I am! I am! It’s my fault she left! It’s all my fault-” He cuts himself off with his own tears, falling into his mother’s shoulder as he cries. “I have to see her again, she can’t die.”

He doesn’t remember falling asleep, but the next thing he knows, he hears his mother’s voice calling for him to wake up.

“Can we see her?” He thinks that was Belly’s voice.

“Yes, but I would recommend one at a time. It could get pretty overwhelming,” the doctor says kindly. He sees her walk away, past the room that you're in, and he stares at the door until he realizes everyone is looking at him. Susannah tilts her head, running her hand through his hair.

“Go see her.”

“What about-”

“Go see her, Con.” Jeremiah insists, giving his brother a pat on the back before he pushes him in your direction. He’s slow moving to the door, his mind not really processing that you really are still here, you’re alive. Conrad doesn’t bother peering through the small window on the door, his hand grabs the knob and twists it, forcing himself through.

Your eyes are closed. There’s a bandage on your head, your arm, and your thigh. There’s bruises in so many places, but the only big one seems to be on your thigh. He can see it peeking through the bandage. You look so peaceful, despite the damage done to you. Maybe it’s because all the worry lines he always tells you about aren’t there, but he kind of wishes they were. He didn’t know what to expect, but all he knows is that you’re still the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. There’s a small purple chair next to the bed, and he sits down on it, scooting it a bit closer so he can hold your hand. He hesitates at first, wondering if you’d want to wake up with him at your bedside holding your hand, but he pushes the thought away. Before we were lovers, we were best friends, so that’s got to count for something. Right?

His hand falls softly on top of the hand closest to him, lying so still on the bed sheet, letting his fingers intertwine with yours before he squeezes your hand with the most gentle care in the world. He wants you to open your eyes, give him one of your pretty smiles, tell him what a jerk he was and kiss him until his face goes numb. They stay closed though, and for some reason it brings on another onset of tears. He takes his other hand up to clasp together with the other one, bringing your hand to his forehead as he cries into your hand.

At first, you feel a cool touch on your hand, like water. But it’s drops… how can that be? You do everything you can to peel your eyes open, difficult at first to focus with the small beaming light above you. Your head rolls to the side, and that’s when you make out the image in front of you. He doesn’t notice you yet, still crying quietly. With a small muster of strength, your fingers squeeze his back, and this has his head shooting up. You see his bloodshot eyes first, then the tear marks on his cheeks, then the curve of a frown turning into a smile.

“Hi,” you croak. Your voice sounds horrible, and it rings in your ears making you wince. You still try talking anyway. “C-Con-”

“Hey, hey…” he assures quietly, “You don’t have to talk, it’s okay.” Tears start to fill in the corners of your eyes, and he’s quick to wipe them away, but keeping his hands cupping your face. “It’s alright, you’re okay. You were in an accident, do you remember that?” His words are soft, comforting to your ears. You nod your head, but the tears keep coming. “Okay, okay, shhh… it’s alright, you’re safe.”

“I’m s-sor-ry-”

“Baby, you don’t have to talk-”

“About,” you cough, clearing your throat to finish, “y-your car.” The words don’t register in his brain right away, the second it does his eyes are widening in shock and his mouth is forming into a smile.

“You’re apologizing about my car?” You're looking at him painfully, guilty almost, and it makes him want to throw up. “I don’t give a shit about the damn car, Y/N. You’re okay, and that’s what matters, alright?” Your head nods and he sighs in relief. “Alright.”

He leans down to kiss you on the forehead, checks to make sure he’s not hurting you in any way, and combs his hand through your hair. The kiss is sweet, and for a moment, you wish it could stay this way.

…

--The end of summer--

Damn him. Damn him and his good looks, charming smile, and that adoring voice that he has that has any woman clinging onto him like a magnet. Damn him for actually listening to you for once and moving on with his life. Damn yourself for ever saying it in the first place.

It’s been weeks, but somehow, you still find yourself here in the corner of the bar with your third drink in hand as you glare at him from across the room. Weeks since your accident, weeks since you fought again and told him that he wasn’t gonna get what he needed from you, and he needed to leave. This was you in defense mode. Terrified mode even. Now you’re just in depressed mode because the guy is standing next to a beautiful woman who is seemingly laughing at every single one of his dumb jokes. You don’t actually know that for certain but that’s what you’re rolling with.

You’re not nearly drunk enough for this yet.

“Slow your roll, girl, the drinks aren’t going anywhere,” Shayla advises. Three shots are thrown back and Steven is looking at you like you’re insane.

“Are you sure you should be drinking?” He tries. Your eyes cast a mean glare at him. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

“Shut up.”

“Okay.” Steven gives a tight lipped grin, shrugging his shoulders at Shayla before he goes back to kissing her. You roll your eyes, body facing back to the lovely couple sitting by the bartender, but the girl isn’t there anymore. It’s just Conrad.

His eyes pierce through you like a fire, his flexed arm bringing up his drink in hand to take a sip of it as he stares. His white button up isn’t even buttoned, only half way, and his sleeves are rolled up his forearms. The drink is doing nothing to hide his cocky smirk behind the glass. God damn.

Maybe you shouldn’t, but you are dramatic when you want to be, so you slam a 50 on the table that should cover the amount of drinks you had, and you stalk out of the bar with your heels clicking in tow. You didn’t catch his blue eyes following you, or the words that had come out of his mouth when talking to the girl. He hopes that’s what you go on to think about.

You swear you’re not a crybaby, you aren’t, but drunk you is a lot more emotional than sober you. So as the guy in the uber asks you where you want to go, you’re already fighting back tears as you tell him the address to your house. You cry all the way there, you cry as you unlock the door, you cry as you walk up the stairs to your room, and you cry even harder as your body flops down onto the bed. Just as you think you couldn’t possibly have any tears left, another wave hits you and your face buries itself further into your pillow. Eventually, you must have cried yourself out because your sleep filled eyes blink open and you’re staring at the glowing screen of your alarm clock.

1:00 am.

Great. You roll over onto your back, rubbing your eyes much more harshly than you should.

Suddenly, a thought pops into your head. He could be up….

You groan, rolling out of bed until your feet plant on the floor and you can’t believe you’re actually debating on climbing out of your window. Nobody is home, you could easily use the front door.

“I like to follow through on tradition.”

You hate it, but it’s his voice inside your head that convinces you to step out onto the ladder and climb your way down until your feet hit the grass with a crunch. It’s his voice that has you walking to his house in the middle of the night with shorts that barely even cover your ass and a sweatshirt that you wouldn’t doubt came from the Fisher’s house.

His house comes into focus, seemingly dark on the inside. Out back all the fairy lights Susannah loves to keep up are on though, so it has you sneaking around the fence, observing if the boy you’re looking for is outside. Just as you get around to the gate, you see him, sitting by the pool with his feet hanging in the water and a cigarette in his mouth. For a split second, it has you thinking about blurting out that he’s a dumbass for smoking again, but you realize that it’s not the same as before.

Much to your disappointment, the gate creaks as your hands push it open, and it has Conrad glancing over and taking sight of you walking up to the opposite side of the pool. With your head hung low, you sit down and let your feet hang in the cool water of the pool, just as he is doing.

Neither of you talk for about ten minutes, you just sit in silence before you work up the nerve to ask, or rather state, “You’re smoking again.”

“What’s it to you?” He puffs the smoke out, letting it rest between his gentle fingertips.

“Nothing.”

His choked back laughter has your eyes peering up at him, and he’s looking at you with such distaste, it makes you just want to get up and leave.

“What are you doing here, Y/N?” He asks angrily, combing back his hair.

You’re quiet when you say, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” You don’t answer. “Well, I think you do.”

“I do? And how would you know that?”

“Because whether you like to believe it or not, I know you.” He says, rather calmly. He thinks this will have you standing up in a fit of rage, start ranting about how he doesn’t know you anymore, and he can’t say stupid shit like that. The furious glare you’re sending him is unmistakable, but you don’t do anything like that.

“I didn’t mean a word I said the night of the accident. I was pissed and I took it out on you.” You grumble.

Well that was least expected.

He doesn’t say anything, in case you’re about to go on, and you do.

“I’ve always been frightened by what I don’t know, and honestly, I don’t think I ever really knew love until I fell in love with you.”

“You-” he barely gets the word out before you’re standing up, and he’s standing up, and you begin pacing around like you’re gonna have a panic attack.

“Obviously my parents have never been the greatest example, I mean- c’mon, they’re not even around anymore and they don’t even love each other! So what the fuck are they doing all the time? I just- I was always so afraid that we were gonna’ end up like another version of them, and that made me hate the idea of being with you. That probably doesn’t even make any sense, but it’s true!” You’re full blown ranting now, but you don’t see him gazing at you from across the pool with the most love-sick eyes you’ve ever seen. “The fact that I even thought I could save myself from that hurt was idiotic of me, my brain recognizes that now, but in my head all I could ever think about was just getting away since maybe if I did it now, it would both save us from the pain in the future.”

“You aren’t him, okay? You never have been. He was a lying cheat that I couldn’t detach from for months, and you know who got me through that? You did.” You insist, “You were the one I was crying to practically every night. You were the one I went to when all I could think about was punching someone in the face, and maybe your wall didn’t deserve it, but you helped me through it! Yeah? Cause’ you’re my partner in crime, you were the kid who showed up to school with extra snacks for me when I didn’t have any, and you were the kid who stood up for me at recess when those stupid boys would harass me and tell me I had a great ass! I mean, you still do!” You laugh.

“I never wanted anybody but you, Conrad. You were my first crush, and even though you weren’t my first kiss, you have always been my first love. And when I thought I was going to die, all I could think about is how I never told you I loved you.”

Your confession rings in the air between you, your heart beating a mile a minute as you wait for him to say something. Anything.

“Loved?” He questions.

“Love.” You whisper.

He grins, “Say it.”

“I love you.”

You hadn’t realized how close the two of you had gotten until he’s only taking a couple steps to get to you and his body is slamming into yours. All you can feel is the hard beating of his chest against your own and the way his lips feel so warm against yours. You hold him so tightly like you’re never going to let go, and he couldn’t even care if the grip he has on your waist leaves bruises in the morning because you’re here and you love him.

“Say it again,” He pleads between kisses.

“I love you, Conrad.”

“Again.”

“Connie,” you whine, and kisses you again so you don’t hear him laugh.

“I have loved you since the minute you came into my life,” He says, touching his forehead against yours and making your heart melt down to the ground and your hands hold on tighter to his shirt so you don’t fall over yourself.

“That’s a long time,” You mutter.

“Yeah, it is.”

You kiss for a moment longer, and you don’t separate until you hear the sliding glass door open and way too many cheers erupt from inside the house. You look over, and quite literally everyone is standing there watching.

“Well, I wondered what all that screaming was!” Susannah jokes.

You both groan, and you bury your head into Conrad’s chest as they try ushering you inside.

He kisses your forehead, “Don’t worry, we’ll kill them together.”

You smile, “Let’s tell them our story first, then we can end them.”

#conrad fisher x reader #conrad fisher x fem!reader #conrad fisher x y/n #conrad fisher x you #conrad fisher imagine #the summer i turned pretty #tsitp x reader #tsitp #the summer i turned pretty fanfic

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eddiemvnsonsbabymama · 1 year

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¡Aquí Yo Mando!

Pairing: Eddie Munson X Fem!Reader

Summary: You knew that Eddie was experimental during sex; always willing to try something new and sticking to it when you both like it. So when you ask a teeny, tiny favor from him, he’s hesitant at first but does whatever for you. Little did he know that he would like it this much. Or (in simpler terms), Eddie Munson tries to be submissive for the first time in his life.

THIS BLOG INCLUDES: riding, eddie being a sub ™️, porn with plot, praising, whimpering (mainly from eddie), dom!reader, booby grabbing, hickeys, p in v, eating out, filthy smut like absolutely grimy. happy ending though!

BEFORE READING: sorry for the long hiatus lol im trying to get better at writing smut but yeah sorry

The first time you had sex with Eddie Munson was during the school hours of Hawkins High School, having a quickie in the back of his van during the lunch hours after he had noticed how agitated you were. Was it about your finals? SATs? Tests? Maybe his D&D campaign? Whatever it was, he would help take the pressure away and being the good boyfriend he was, he fucked you right in the back of his van. It was cramped, but just enough for you to stretch your legs out from underneath him as he relentlessly pounded into you and the van creaked with every animalistic thrust he did.

Since then, you both had found excuses to have sex almost everywhere: the kitchen counter, the shower, the public stalls in Hawkins Highs’ restrooms, anywhere. And during those times, he would always be on top of you, heavy breathing and groaning loudly while cursing profanities under his breath and his large hand would be pressed against your back.

You didn’t think about much of your guys’ sex life but sometimes, you just wanted to try something new and you were afraid that Eddie might not like what your idea was. Either way, it didn’t hurt to try and ask anyway. The worst case scenario is that he could just say no, yet you still feel your stomach twisting and churning as your car slowly crept up to the trailer park. It was nighttime, the nightly mist passing by silently and most of the trailer park residents were inside their little homes — if you can call it that. When your parents asked where you were going in such a late time, you merely told them that you were going over to a friends house for a sleepover and besides, why did they need to know?

You were 18, you could make your own decisions.

You gently chewed on your bottom lip as you parked your vehicle on the other side of the trailer since Eddie’s van had already taken the other side and you saw that his uncle wasn’t home. That was fine, you both knew that Wayne had to work long hours at the processing plant down further Hawkins. The engine turned off with the twist of your key and you stepped out to examine the trailer more.

Most of the lights were on, the light was blue-ish and translucent on the small porch but you jumped back when the screen door opened with such force that you thought it would break. “Hey!” Eddie greeted, the light casting over his facial features and made shadows. You couldn’t help but laugh at his over excitement as he rushed up (he didn’t run — more like he just jumped off the porch) to you and pulled you into a tight hug.

His chest clashed against yours, his face buried into your shoulder, your arms wrapped around his torso. The moment seemed sweet and you almost completely forgot why you were there — almost. “What’re you doing here? C’mon, let’s go inside.” He offered, nodding his head towards the swung open door and placed his large hand to your back as he led you to the porch.

You felt your nervousness bloom into your stomach like a flower as he opened the door for you and you walked inside his rather spacious trailer. Mugs were hung up on the walls or were hanging on the shelves which..yeah, you definitely found a little weird yet cute. One of them had text on it that read #1 Dad that you assumed was for Wayne. Your head whipped around when Eddie walked in, closing the door behind him and it doesn’t take you two that long to end up in the bedroom.

As soon as he walked in, you basically pounced on him by pulling him into a kiss and you both didn’t break that as your feet tangled with his whilst you were stumbling down the hallway. Clothes were beginning to tear off — first his black band shirt was discarded onto the floor of the hallways, next was your blouse which displayed your breasts and your knees hit the the back of his mattress which was stained — ew.

He reached up to unbutton your jeans, breathlessly and leaned up to kiss your neck. Your stomach swirled with excitement as you lifted your hips up when he tapped the sides of your thighs, gesturing you to help with your jeans and he gently sucked on the exposed flesh of your neck. It left a red marking before he began kissing down your body, his fingers hooking into your underwear as he peeled them off and he pressed a kiss above your belly button. He pulled your legs open, his eyes slightly widening at just the sight of you.

“You’re a good kisser.” You quickly said when he tried to ask about the slick collected within your entrance and he just stammered before finally giving up on his words. Eddie pushed his hair back before grabbing your legs to position them onto his shoulders and you swore that you died as soon as his lips wrapped around your clit. His tongue did small kitten licks, torturing you as he watched your face contorted into pleasure and he leaned his head down before sliding his tongue in between your slick folds. He leaned forward to press his nose into your clit and you swore that you felt your heart pop like a balloon because holy hell, he knew what he was doing.

You watched with bleary eyes as he basically tongue fucked you — his large hands were pressed against your inner thighs to keep your legs apart, his eyes closed as he ate you out, and the grotesque sounds of his tongue meeting your cunt repeatedly bounced off the walls of his bedroom. You knew how loud you were and you didn’t care because it felt so fucking good that you came…twice. “Eddie, Eddie.” You said, your mind a little hazy from his tongue and he looked up at you with his chin resting above your stomach.

You could see his lips were wet and dripping down his chin, his nose was wet too before he reached up and wiped it off with the back of his hand. “Yeah, babe?” Eddie asked, breathlessly and watched as you sat up. Now here was where the nervousness came in and it blossomed as he stood up, but the first thing you noticed was the dark patch within his jeans. “Can I…ride you?” You asked, feeling absolutely nervous as you played with your fingers and you just wished that you could do something to make the question less awkward.

“Sure.” He said with no hesitation which caught you off guard and he crawled forward onto the bed to pull you into a kiss. He quickly rolled onto his back and you felt your nervousness go away as you undid his belt and his hard length was practically poking out of blue-and-white checkered boxers. He watched with bated breath as your fingers tiptoed around his throbbing cock and you felt your breath caught within your throat. You’ve had sex before but you were always on the bottom and weren’t in charge until now so you did feel a little which Eddie immediately caught on.

“We..listen, we don’t have to do this, okay? I won’t get mad or anything.”

“Just shut up and fuck me.”

Immediately he shut his jaw and watched as you straddle his waist with his tip barely touching you. The feeling sent goosebumps through his waist and he winced in pleasure when you slam your hips onto his pelvis bone, the flesh of your ass hitting against his thighs and you gasp in surprise at the sensation. The cold air was hitting against your body, your nipples hardening as you tried to figure out what the hell do next.

You lean forward to place your hands onto his bony chest for stability and you close your eyes as you began to move your hips forward. The back of your thighs rubbed against the sides of his stomach, causing a delicious rub to occur between the two of you and your mouth dropped as you moaned breathily. But the thing that took you by surprise was the small whimpers..from Eddie Munson himself. His large hands greedily gripping at whatever skin that was visible until his hands reached your tits and he groped them.

“Oh, shit. You’re so hot.” He hissed, watching as you fucked yourself on his cock and you merely giggled as your hands withdrew from his chest. You tilt your head back in pleasure, your hair falling over your shoulder and you moaned softly as you slowly moved your hips forward. Eddie tried to speed up the process by moving his hips up but you placed your hands onto his lower stomach and pressed down harshly, causing him to whimper.

You lean forward to where your face to close to his and you look into his fucked out eyes that were half lidded. “Don’t. I’ll go at my own pace.” You said, watching his reaction to which he eagerly nodded and you lean back, keeping your hands on his lower stomach but your grip had lightened. At this point, you felt your orgasm slowly approach but you wanted to torture Eddie as long as you could while being greedy too. Honestly, you could do this for hours.

Your hips felt like they were burning as you picked up your pace, causing your moans to become louder and his breathing to become heavier. The neighbors could hear you from the thin walls of trailer, but you didn’t even care and you were trapped in your own little world full of pleasure. You couldn’t even face Eddie since your face was screwed up as your body jolted forward with every move your hips made and your chest began to rapidly rise and fall.

“Oh, shit. Oh, fuck, I’m close.” Eddie said from underneath you, his hands gripping the flesh of your hips which moved rapidly so you could chase your own orgasm and he watched you in complete bliss. The sight alone almost made him cum too. Your moans were beginning to grow louder by every motion your hips made and you moaned shakily as your jaw dropped. The sound of your loud moans, your ass slapping against his thighs, and his whimpers/cursing swirled around the room like a sweet melody that you could listen to forever and never get bored of.

Your body shook as your orgasm came over you, your movements halting to stop and Eddie began to slowly move his hips up to last through your high. The way your pussy clenched around his cock made him cum instantly, watching as the slick gathered up around your folds slowly roll down the inside of your thighs and he groaned softly as he dropped his hips. The two of you stayed silent besides your heavy breathing and the soft springing of the fresh stained mattress.

He looked at you, face full of sweat, and laughed softly before holding up his hand for a high five which you exhaustedly returned. “I should let you go on top more often.” He joked, causing you to turn to him and you giggled softly.

“Maybe next time.”

A/N:

#stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things season four #eddie munson x female reader #joseph quinn #eddiemvnsonsbabymama #eddie munson smut #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson x female reader smut #eddie x you

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still-got-no-idea · 6 months

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Lil bit of speedy lore

There are mentions of injured wings and stuff. So uhhh. Yeah

They wear jackets and hoodies constantly after their wing got cut so they could hide it. I say cut, but someone that they trusted and loved clipped them. They now mostly prefer to hide it because they’d rather be seen as wingless instead of someone who has an injured wing. They don’t mind that it hurts sometimes to keep their other wing pressed in a tight space

(Originally, the wing was clipped at about 14 but I’ve made it 18 due to events in my life that made it fit more)

Before their wing got clipped, they used to hover more than walk. They couldn’t explain why, they just loved to hover and be off the ground, even if it didn’t really do anything. They preferred to be in the air rather than on the ground

They are very expressive with their wings. They’re wings flutter rapidly when they’re happy or excited, and it wouldn’t be unusual for them to hover for a few moments off the ground before the incident (i’m calling their wings being clipped the incident now lol)

They sleep the same way a hummingbird does

They speak spanish. Mostly when they’re upset or confused

They also kinda have a place in utmv-ish. I made Speedy with friends and stuff so yeah

That part is mostly a mix of interpretations about the sanses, as well as silly shenanigans. Mostly like “why speedy and killer aren’t allowed to be alone together anymore”. They basically returned with 20 cats. Speedy was like “oh hey this is a cute lil guy killer look!” And killer was like “wait what about that one?” And they ended up bringing back a bunch of cats and Nightmare was not pleased so lol

That also goes into why i have different versions of speedy. Mostly younger, since the changes i went through based on age was… welp. I went from passive nm -> dust -> killer. That was literally what happened so i… made versions of speedy where that happened

I’ve actually mentioned them a few times (aqua and sunflower >:3)

A lot of speedy’s lore is a mix of symbolism and what happened in my life so trying to formulate that without giving too much detail is hard lol. Easiest thing is the wings.

@iamunabletothinkofablogname (i know you wanted some lore so here you go :3)

also feel free to send asks about speedy cuz- cuz i mean i haz answers

#aster talks #aster rambles #speedy #speedy lore #i’m putting this late at night because uhhhh-#reasons #yeah

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dotster001 · 1 year

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Hello Dot! Congratulations on 1.5k followers. I am very excited for your matchup event! May I have a request for matchup type 1 with Ensemble Stars? I'm sorry if this is a little bit long...

My name is Dawn. I'm an INFP-T girl who likes cute and pretty things. I enjoy drawing and designing costumes. I like listening to music and singing. I'm rather wild if left to my own devices (because I like rock and niche edm), but if someone tells me to sing for them I'd be really shy (lol). I also like sweets, and sometimes I go on walks after school to find cute stores and cafes to visit. I like cute animals too, like cats and dogs and bunnies. I like all colors, but my favourite is pastel colors or bright colors like hot pink and cyan. I figured I crave cuddles and kisses too, even though I never really got a lover to test if I really enjoy these activities.

I dislike loud noises, and I'd get overstimulated and nervous if left for a long time in a noisy environment. I also dislike mean people, or those who act in a threatening behavior in general. I don't hate cold weather, but I get cold really easily and it's quite annoying. I have insomnia and find it hard to sleep and as a resuot I'm quite sleep deprived 😔.

Ummm small story about me, had a rough childhood because my classmates and parents were pretty mean to me, and for a long time I was afraid of being judged and hurt, so I bottled up my feelings and closed myself off. But I realized it would be lonely and sad if I just drown in negative feelings, and that instead I should heal and use my understanding and experience with being hurt to comfort others, and be kind and strong no matter what.

I seek a partner who is gentle, affectionate and loyal. And maybe someone who'd let me draw silly doodles on their hands or notebook (I'm sorry, it's one of the things I must to in my lifetime).

Thank you very much and congratulations again! Have a wonderful day!

(hey Dawn Idk if you're bi/pan, or not, but I genuinely thought this was the perfect match for you. If you want a different one though, let me know! I won't be offended!)

I match you with Arashi Narukami.

Just two cute girls living their cute girl life? Yes! Going to cute cat cafes, buying cute outfits for each other, living their cutesy life? Excellent!

Arashi enjoys making costumes! I can totally see you drawing and designing stuff together, then making them together. She's proud to show off her skills, while at the same time is more than excited that you are so creative!!!! Design matching cute looks for the both of you. She might die. (Or squeeze you to death in the tightest hug you've ever felt)

She's a cuddler. I've decided. She likes to hold you close, and feel your heartbeat against hers. In cold weather she'll do this to keep you warm, but she also just does this when she's noticing your having trouble sleeping. She'll sing new Knights lyrics she's been working on under her breath, and will rub your back, until you, hopefully, drift off.

Arashi's job means the both of you have to go to loud places sometimes. But she's really good at feeling the needs of those around her. So she'll make sure to keep an eye on you. If it looks like it's getting to be too much, she'll make her graceful exit, causing all the fangirls to swoon over your loving knight.

Your dream is to doodle on her notes and her hand? Sweetheart, she's so in! When she has music rehearsals, sometimes they can be long and grueling, especially if the harmonies aren't going exactly as they should. But it makes it easier when she flips the page, and there's a little gift from you. If you guys are in a loud place, and she can't get you out of there, that's when she'll offer a pen and her hand as distraction for the time being. Again, the fangirls are SIMPING.

Your face was pressed to her chest, so that you could hear her heartbeat. She ran her fingers through your hair and absentmindedly hummed a song. Sometimes this would work. Sometimes, her scent, heartbeat, and voice would help you drift off. Today was not "sometimes".

"Rashi?" You looked up and she opened her eyes, as though she was starting to drift off instead.

"Hm?"

"I don't think this is gonna work tonight," you whispered.

She nodded and shifted, like she was going to separate from you. So, naturally, you buried yourself deeper against her.

"Alright," she laughed, "What does my Dawn want to do instead?"

"You're warm," you muttered, making her laugh again.

"I thought this wasn't working?"

"That doesn't mean I want to stop cuddling. It just means I'm not sleeping!"

"Fair point. Do you just want to chat then? Or…"

She pulled out the pen she always keeps on hand, and gave it to you before brandishing the back of her hand.

"My perfect knight," you laughed, beginning to doodle.

"Don't forget it," she teased

#1.5k followers #matchups #ensemble stars #arashi narukami

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tsumune · 3 years

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more than enough

pairing: gn!reader x suna rintarou

synopsis: suna feels insecure about what he offers in your relationship, and after seeing how excited you get listening to your friend talk about the extravagant things her boyfriend does for her, he decides to try something himself.

tags: angst?? to fluff (just slight angst)

suna comes home from practice to find the house silent. that’s odd, he thinks to himself as he looks for you. his muscles hurt, he’s sore, and a small part of him is irritated that dinner isn’t ready, but all those thoughts are wiped from his head when he turns on the lights in the bedroom and finds you fast asleep, your eyebrows creased together and your nose slightly red as if you had just cried.

“y/n? what’s wrong, are you okay?” suna softly shakes you awake.

“mm.. rin? ah, what time is it?” your first thought when you wake is to look at the clock, and to your horror it’s already 8PM. “oh no, rin i’m so sorry i didn’t make dinner yet. i’ll go make some now-”

“hey no, it’s okay. tell me what’s wrong first, were you crying?”

“it’s not a big deal rin. don’t worry about me, but you need to eat.”

suna’s own eyebrows crease at this. “why are you so intent on getting me to eat?”

you look at him with confusion, as if the answer was obvious. “because your game is coming up soon, rin. you have to keep your body healthy and not worry about other things.”

suna frowns at this. he knows he’s not the most expressive boyfriend, but he cares about you so much and wants you to know you’re not second to the other things in his life, no matter how busy he gets. “just because i have a game coming up doesn’t mean i’ll ignore you. tell me.”

he’s taken aback by the sudden tears filling your eyes, and in a panic his hands quickly wrap around your figure. “i got yelled at by my boss... i don’t want to lose this job, rin.”

“shh, you won’t baby. you’re doing so well, one mistake doesn’t define you.” you calm down as suna continues holding you in his arms and smoothing your hair, and the both of you enjoy some takeout and your favourite movie after you relax. but suna can’t shake the heavy feeling in his chest that you were bottling up your feelings in an effort to not worry him, and the guilt that his first thought when he came home was that you didn’t make dinner. it worries him even more.

days have passed since the night you broke down, but suna still feels a bit tense. he won his game, and in celebration you asked if he wanted to go out with your friends. in truth, he just wanted to make you feel better, but you hadn’t brought up the topic since that night, so he decides going out and forgetting about everything might be a good thing. as the night goes on though, his heart only feels heavier.

“and then, he opened the trunk and there were bouquets of flowers and balloons in there!”

suna watches your eyes light up as your friend talks about the latest dramatic gesture her boyfriend did for her. he used to internally roll his eyes at this and think he was being over the top, but looking at how happy your friend was talking about him and how excited it seemed to make you feel, he wonders if you ever smile that brightly when you tell your friends about him. actually, do you talk to your friends about him at all? does he do anything that warrants a story like this? suna isn’t sure if he can remember. sure, you go out for anniversary dinners, but everyone does that, don’t they? if you don’t go to him for comfort, and he doesn’t plan big surprises for you... what does he do for you?

“rin. rinnie. rintarou!” suna snaps back to attention at your voice combined with the flick to his forehead.

“ow!” you laugh, and that was enough to ease a bit of suna’s worries. he decides he’ll take some (albeit dramatic) inspiration from your friend’s boyfriend, and step up his antics so that he can hear that laugh more often.

“can i open my eyes now?”

“no wait, not yet,” suna drags you a bit farther. “okay, now you can.”

you open your eyes, and to your surprise, your bed is decorated with flowers in the shape of a heart. you can’t stop the laugh that bursts out of you.

“rin, what is this,” you wipe your eyes as you laugh. “since when were you so corny?”

suna feels his heart drop at your comment. he worked hard on this. he thought you would like it, thought it would be something he could do for you. thought it would put him up there on the good boyfriend list next to your friend’s boyfriend.

“rin, why did you use whole flowers with the stems still on? don’t people usually just use the petals? silly guy.” you say cheekily, thinking to tease your boyfriend for his random cute act a bit. you admit it’s a bit odd coming from suna, but it’s endearing in a clumsy way, and you appreciated it. but when you turn around to face him, suna’s head is turned to the ground and he looks unexpectedly serious.

“sorry if you don’t like it. just thought i’d do something different for a change,” he says through gritted teeth before leaving to the living room.

“hey rin, wait!” you try to catch his arm as he goes, but he just shakes you off. “rin? i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to dismiss your work like that. i was just kidding.” instead of responding, suna plants himself facedown on the couch.

you start to worry. “rin? are you okay? can you talk to me about it.” silence. “rin... i talked to you last time. can you talk to me too, please?”

at this, suna turns his head. this time, it’s your turn to be surprised at the uncommon sight of his glossy eyes. “i just wanted to be a good boyfriend... you didn’t come to me last time you were hurt, and then i saw how excited you were when your friend talked about her boyfriend’s stupid surprises... i thought you would be happy if i did more of those things too.”

“oh rin.” you sigh and climb onto the sofa, softly squishing him. your hands cup his face and you stare into his eyes, neither of you moving until suna gives in. “what?”

“you’re more than enough for me, rin.” suna has heard these words countless times before. you’ve said them to him often, and in his heart he knows you’ve always felt this way, but with the recent events and mix of emotions he’s experiencing, he feels like he’s been knocked off his feet and swept away by the undeniable love in them. “you don’t have to do the things you see others do, i love you just the way you are. you don’t have to change yourself for me, rin, you’re already everything i could wish for as is. you’re sweet and attentive and always put me first, i’m aware of that, and you show me you care in the little things, like what you just tried.” suna’s eyes shift to the side in embarrassment at the thought of the flowers still sitting on your shared bed. “i wouldn’t mind if you never did that again, but i also wouldn’t mind if you wanted to try again. and i promise i’ll take you seriously. just use only petals next time,” you playfully pinch your boyfriend on the nose, and this time he laughs with you.

the two of you head back to the room to pick up the flowers and put them in a vase (suna was beet red the whole time), and then lay down on the bed to cuddle. after a while, suna turns to you.

“promise me you’ll talk to me if you ever feel upset again,” you open your mouth and suna already knows what you’re about to say, “i know. i know i’m not the best at it either, but i’ll try harder too. you just really had me worried.”

“i didn’t want to worry you before your game.”

“yeah, and i was worried what it meant that you didn’t want to talk to me. so your plan backfired,” he pouted.

“okay okay,” you laugh with a defeated sigh. “from now on, better communication. pinky promise.”

“what are you, five?” suna scoffs, before connecting your pinkies together. “pinky promise.”

a/n: methinks this could’ve been executed better but i just wanted to write something lol might rewrite/reuse the premise of this idea sometime

#haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #suna rintarou x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hurt comfort #suna x reader

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undertale-writing-times · 2 years

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How would the skeles react to a s/o who has cat like habits like sleeping in weird places staring at cucumbers as if it were their mortal enemy and being really fascinated by Lazer pointers

Since you didn't say which ones you wanted, I decided to just pick and choose lol. Hope that's fine!

Thanks for the ask :D

Sans- Do you know those owners that would put a cucumber right beside their cats to get them to react to it, for some reason? Just because they find it funny? Yeah, that's exactly what he does. Hey man, if you're going to be weird and act like a cat, he's gonna have his fun with it! He thinks you're weird and he loves how weird you are. It's so cute! Whenever he sees you sleeping in weird places, he'll most likely just climb in with you and sleep beside you. His brother has tripped on you both so many times he's so tired of you both. Sometimes when he's bored and wants to do something, he'll use a laser pointer to see how you react. It's just something that makes him happy which isn't exactly the hardest thing, but also just let him do it. If anyone else ever does anything against you though? He’ll get a little mad, mostly if it’s something that bothers you, since only he’s allowed to do that! Secretly, he wants to see why you act the way you do, and wants to run some tests to see if maybe you had some cat monster in your bloodline or something?

Papyrus- Half of him wants to be annoyed at the fact that you sleep so often, but he can't bring himself to be too mad at you. He will most likely wake you up if you're sleeping somewhere where you could get yourself hurt and tell you to go to sleep in your bed! If you tell him that you're not comfortable in your bed, he'll allow you to sleep in his own! He doesn't quite understand why you do not like cucumbers, because they are not going to hurt you! Though the Great Papyrus! Will protect you from the green things if you really do not like them that much. Even if he just sees them at the store, he will direct you away from them while coming up with an excuse. One time he woke up to see a lot of them in his room and it turned out to be Undyne trying to prank you two, and he was so offended! Of course, sometimes he will... shine the laser pointer to get your attention, he just finds it so cute what you do! Most of him just sorta wonders why you're so excited about it, but doesn't really care because he finds it so cute and exciting. Not to be mean though, just sometimes he wonders if he's dating someone or if he has a pet cat...

Blueberry- No! You aren't allowed to sleep in random places like his brother does, that's dangerous and you could get yourself hurt! He can't stop his brother from doing it, and of course he can't fully stop you, but please don't sleep in random places. Just... sleep on the couch, or something! Pleaseeeee. The whole cucumber thing you do is... confusing to him because they're just vegetables! Yet even so, he won't judge you for your strange fears and won't let anyone else either! He finds your enjoyment of the laser pointer very cute and will tell everyone just how adorable his datemate is! If you tell him not to tell anyone he won't, but he won't let anyone tease you on his watch! He loves you and even loves your weird habits like a cat. As long as you don't, you know, start to bring him dead animals and things...

Stretch- Haha... you're adorable. He loves you. He loves the fact that you act a little like a cat, he thinks it's pretty adorable. The whole falling asleep in random places is something that he himself does sometimes, mostly he has certain spots that he falls asleep in though... he'll tell you about those spots in hope that you'll fall asleep there so he knows where to find you. Sometimes he does worry about you falling asleep in places that could be dangerous, yet hopes that you'd be able to take care of yourself. The whole laser pointer thing is something he also understands, it is nice to watch the light move around though half of him kinda wonders why are you so much like a cat? What did you do to cause that? Anything or... were you just born like that or something different? He won't mess with you about the cucumbers, because that could be dangerous or upsetting for you. If you want to, you can sleep in his hoodie with him... he'd like that.

Axe- If he's to be honest, sometimes Axe too gets distracted by the laser pointers. He doesn't understand why, but he does and the sleeping in random places is nice but he also worries about you being in dangerous places so often he'll pick you up and carry you off to places that he thinks is safer. Most of the time the couch, his bedroom, or his bundle of blankets and stuff that he collected. The only thing that he doesn't understand is why you don't like cucumbers, but if you don't like them, then fine! He'll protect you from them. The funny thing is he'll most likely just eat them... the only thing between the two of you, is that he can purr! He purrs when he's very happy and relaxed so most of the time when you guys are laying together, he's purring, a deep rumbly sound that makes your body feel like it's vibrating with how strong it is. His brother can purr too, not as loud, but strangely enough, he can't explain to you why he can purr?

Red- Ugh. To be honest, Red isn't too sure how to feel about you. At first, he thought that you were annoying and wished you'd stop acting like a stupid cat! He hates cats but slowly he started to grow attached to you, which was annoying. Even if he's attached to you, he's still going to put a cucumber around to freak you out, just because he finds your reactions funny. He'll just have to be careful because if he scares Doomfanger, Edge is going to kill him. Luckily Edge already has a laser pointer so often Red will 'borrow' it and use it to play with you because he likes seeing how you get excited about it. Now he wants to see other things, how would you act to other cat things? Like yarn? Oh, and he'll warn you to try not to fall asleep where Edge could find you, because he really hates it when people fall asleep in random places. Red does it because of his narcolepsy sometimes. Yeah, he got diagnosed with that after they came above ground and they gave him some medications that helps him stop falling asleep randomly. Sometimes Edge does still get mad at him.

Edge- Well as long as Doomfanger doesn't get jealous of you, he doesn't mind you acting in the way that you do. Though, honestly, expect him to sometimes pet your head without thinking, then get embarrassed if you question him on it and shout that he didn't do anything as stupid as that! The whole falling asleep in random places annoys him, and he will wake you up to tell you to go sleep somewhere else. He already has to deal with his brother falling asleep randomly, he doesn't want to have to deal with you doing that and do not, and I really mean do not, get scared by cucumbers in front of him he will make fun of you... or at least tell you that that is a bad thing to be scared of. If you tell him that you can't help it, he'll try to be nicer but expect some snarky comments.

Wiseguy- To be honest, he's one of the people that really doesn't care about the fact that you want to be like a cat. It isn't that he doesn't care, but more he doesn't really mind it too much? He thinks it's honestly pretty cute. Sometimes it does annoy him, mostly when he’s trying to walk and ends up accidentally tripping on you. If that happens, most of the time, he’ll just end up falling asleep too. The whole... cucumber thing is the most confusing thing for him, why do you look at them like that? He likes cucumbers he’ll sometimes eat them but hey, if you don’t like them, he guesses he won’t? They weren’t his favorite food anyway. Funnily enough, Boss likes you which he finds shocking, since normally Boss doesn’t like anyone! He assumes it’s because you act a little like a cat. Sometimes it does make him a little jealous... Not that he’d admit it!

Boss- He fucking loves cats. Sometimes when he's trying to sleep, he wonders if that's why he first started to date you but grew to be attracted to you in different ways, as well? He doesn't really understand or care. Of course, after they got together, he looked you up to try to learn more about you, searching through medical records and everything that he could look through. It might seem like he's just some murderer but he really doesn't kill all that often, he leaves it more towards his brother and he only kills with sniper guns or poison as a less 'messy' way. Anyway, enough about that. He does like cats a lot and finds what you do amusing, and it's one of the only times that he'll smile while resting his head on his hand, messing with the laser pointer. If anyone tries to be mean to you about how you act though? He doesn't mind making a bit of a... mess. He loves you! You're his datemate, and he might not look like it all the time, but he does.

Crank- Crank likes you. No, really, he very much likes you. He thinks it's nice to have someone that acts in a way that he can expect and understand a lot. So since you act a lot like a cat, he just studies cats and things? He finds it a tad strange how you react to cucumbers? Once he really looks through it and finds out that the reasons cats dislike cucumbers as they do, is because they think they look like snakes and they don't like how it just appears randomly. For you, he has no idea why you're like that but he is interested! He thinks you're one of the cutest things ever and when he's high he'll laugh and shine the laser pointer around until you 'catch it' and he'll be proud of you. Cuddle him, he'll love the cuddles and will hug onto you hiding his face into your neck or side, just enjoying how warm and soft you are... Often, he'll worry about you falling asleep in places that you could get hurt, so he has told you places that you should sleep that are comfortable and safe.

Corn- Hoo boy. Harvest is gonna have a conniption when he sees you both asleep in the weirdest of places, like on top of the fridge that one time? How'd you both even get up there? He ain't gonna tell, and nobody can make him, dad gum it. Course he'll normally try to get his work done first before doing anything else, but sometimes he really just needs to take naps. Normally his brother understands that, and that's nice, since he wouldn't go and throw a fuss or nothing. He's ready and rarin' to go to mess with you though! He's gonna use a flashlight shining it to get you to chase after it, because you seem to enjoy that and it makes him happy himself to get you to do things. Half of him does wonder why you're acting like a cat, but other than that he doesn't really care. he finds it fun.

Harvest- He loves you. He really does, but come on Y/n, what the hell? What's wrong with you? He already has to deal with his brother sleeping in weird places, so why does he have to with you now? At least with you sleeping you can help out around the farm, or where he's going. When he learns that you don't like cucumbers which is... strange but hey, everyone has something that they don't like, so he wouldn't judge or anything! He buys a laser pointer just to be able to mess with you, because it helps you get out energy that he didn't know you had! Mostly when he's trying to sleep and you're moving around too much. If you're going to act like a cat, he's going to treat you like a little dumb cat. Now he ain't trying to be mean or nothin', but bless his heart it's tiring at times! Though he'll never leave you because he loves you, come hell or high water.

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vrisrezis · 2 years

Text

Again until I get more non ososan rqs yall are getting self indulgent GARBAGE here is my girl who deserves better <//3 I just want her to be happy with somebody who loves her!

Slight sashanne shipping in here ;p

MARCY RELATIONSHIP HCS!

- first of all imma go with the idea you’re in her little friend group so you guys can go on double dates with Anne and Sasha <3 but that would take place after amphibia LAWL

- thing is, with dating Marcy!!! She’s soooo nervous but excited at the same time! Like she obviously has that habit of rambling on, but this is even moreso with you because she gets so nervous and excited around you!

- he loves playing video games with you too! (And when you’re in amphibia, yknow.. other games like flipwart… she lets you win on purpose and has to explain that and Andrias just smirks knowingly)

- yknow for somebody that’s very nervous she is very physical, seriously! She can often be found grabbing onto your hand, hugging you, she’s always trying to touch you in some way physically!

- she also obviously has abandonment issues but doesn’t always act upon them or talk about them with you? Like she gets really sad whenever you go off on a mission and it’s very noticeable so Andrias usually likes to distract her with flipwart or a new mission of her own but yknow

- she just has a hard time opening up about these things sometimes which causes a lot of bottling up emotions and all that

- lotsa sleepovers like all the time LOL

- also she gets really happy whenever you interact with those close to her and show a close relationship, she gets really happy whenever you get along with Anne or Sasha! Because they’re like her family honestly!

- likes nuzzling you <//3

- cheek kisses too! Loves em!

- usually the two of you go on missions together, naturally you worry about your clumsy gf

- but when you guys meet Anne again it’s a whole lotta fun! Though admittedly Marcy finds herself jealous of Anne because she’s able to get so close and form a good bond with you! She’s always been jealous of Anne’s ability to bond with others, sometimes she feels like you’re closer to Anne..

- but hey some reassurance and hugs go a long way!

- better when Sasha comes back at least, cause Sasha easily distracts Anne’s gay ass

- she does this thing where she just squished your cheeks together and is like “babe. Listen to me.”

- during missions are like the only time she’s not clingy or touching you tbh

- also that one ep where Marcy and everyone else had to dress up . You bet her dumbass just kept blushing and staring at you in your nice outfit, any compliments sent her way and she’s dying!!

- she’s definitely an amity 2.0 btw, her entire face just gets all red when you compliment her, she lets out a nervous giggle and gives you a smile as she tries to come up with some compliment for you

- true colors spoilers as well as s3 spoilers but ;(

- she grabbed onto your hands with those tears in her eyes as she confessed her heart and soul out to you, the truth, her betrayal. She felt so heartbroken when you pulled away, you had never done that before. It hurt her more than words could explain to have you do that.

- but with everything that went down that day, you wished you could’ve helped Marcy in that moment, helped her from getting stabbed by that monster you trusted.

- you wanted to help her, but that big oaf was too strong for you to even get close.

- she felt so horrible about what happened though

- you, along with two gay newts try to help Marcy, but she was just so happy to see you again. She didn’t even think about what happened for a moment in your drunken state, being overly affectionate, telling you how much she loved you. How she’s kinda jealous of Anne sometimes, how she really really wants you all to herself sometimes but that’s so selfish of her.. isn’t it?

- what she did was selfish, but you sympathized with her ;(

- you still had a lot of thinking to do though. You weren’t gonna break up with her.. but you needed some time to yourself

- but you quickly realized you’d get that time.. and not in the way you wanted.. as Marcy soon became Darcy, you watched in horror as you could do nothing. You felt horrible, her eyes bore into yours, a horrified look on both of her faces, hers screaming ‘help me’ and yours screaming ‘I wish I could. I’m so sorry’

#amphibia x reader #Marcy #Marcy x reader #Marcy wu #Marcy wu x reader #amphibia Marcy x reader #amphibia Marcy wu x reader #amphibia Marcy #amphibia Marcy wu #I just think she’s a interesting character to write abt

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ltleflrt · 3 years

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Hey Carrie! You talked a little the other day about writers' tendency to start a fic too early in the story, and how you see a lot of first scenes that could have been scrapped to improve the story. My question is if you have some tips to recognize while writing that first scene that you are starting too early in the story?

Hello friend!

That's a really good question, and I'll see if I can give an answer that makes sense. I am not a professional, and I'm not educated or trained in this stuff, it's just something that I recognize from years and years and years of voracious reading. And as with all writing advice, I encourage you to take what I'm going to say with a grain of salt and remember that no writing rule is a hard rule, only a guideline.

Also, my advice is going to be pertaining fanfiction, and specifically to AUs. Obviously a published book has an editor with a razor blade going through a manuscript for you, and the problems that bother me in fanfiction crop up in AUs more than Canonverse.

Oh, and every instance of "you" is general, not specific 😜

So I think the main problem that I see is that people are starting with an Info Dump. An Info Dump is not always a bad thing, sometimes it's completely necessary, but it is NOT where you want to start your story. If it absolutely has to be done, it's better to be somewhere in the middle or near the end. When it's something that your characters need to know.

That's an important bit: Do your characters need to know this?

And related to that: Does your audience need to know this for the story to make sense?

And very important follow up: If the answers to the above questions are yes, does the character/audience need to know this RIGHT NOW?

There's a lot of information about your story that YOU need to know. Heck, my notes files are full of sooooooo much stuff that I know about the characters and plot that never reaches the final product.

So when you're reading your first chapter (I say reading, not writing, because sometimes info dumping for your own benefit is good, and then you fix it before you share the story lol), ask yourself those two questions.

So for example:

In an AU where Dean is a tattoo artist, and it's his POV. The story starts with Dean driving to work, and when he gets there he's going to find out that the empty shop next door has been purchased and is going to be a yoga studio. He meets Castiel out front, up on a ladder trying to hang a hand painted sign, and some teens go running buy and knock into the ladder and Dean has to catch Castiel from falling. (Anyone who wants to adopt this idea is welcome to it btw, I would love to read this lol)

The mistake I often see in a first chapter like this is that as Dean is walking to work, there's a whole Info Dump about why he's a tattoo artist instead of a hunter. He'll be ambling along, thinking about his nice little business, and there's info about how his mom died in a fire, and his dad was a jerk, and Dean didn't go to college because he saved his money for Sammy's college fund, and Dean's only passion was art, and Bobby Singer introduced him to a tattoo shop owner who took Dean under his wing, etc.

Question 1, does your character need to know this?: Why is Dean reflecting on his past? Does Castiel need to know this information in order to build a romance with Dean?

Question 2, does your audience need to know this?: Why does this information matter? If Dean's only reflecting on this because you want to make sure your audience knows where the timeline changed and this became an AU, then you're starting too early in your story. Dean doesn't need to know this, and honestly in a lot of cases the reader doesn't need to know this. This is information that should have been left in your notes file.

Question 3, does the character/audience need to know this NOW?: If this information is pertinent to the plot, like maybe there's some trauma there that Castiel might need to know about to develop their relationship, then you don't want to put it HERE, you want to put it in a conversation with Castiel LATER.

If I was writing this AU, I would just start with Dean sipping his coffee, he's kinda tired because reasons, he looks up to see an unusual commotion, and has to drop his coffee and sprint forward to catch Cas. If he's reflecting on anything in this scene, it's going to be whatever made him tired, or how good/bad the coffee is this morning. Since Cas is a new business owner, they can talk about the origins of Dean's business on their first date, because it'll be a relevant response to Castiel talking about the origins of his yoga studio.

And just in general, if Dean's origin story includes a lot of canon elements, like mom dying in a fire, dad being a deadbeat, Sammy being the adorable overachieving Stanford student.... try to hide that info for as long as you can so that the audience is actually curious about it by the time the info might pop up. It's the wild divergences that are more interesting earlier on.

Okay, and then I want to talk about my giant pet peeve for a starting chapter. It's a specific kind of info dump, that often includes the stuff from above, but then goes a step further.

My nemesis, The Daily Grind.

I haven't asked the authors, so I could be wrong about this, but I feel like most of the time when this type of chapter is included in a story it is because the author wants to show the reader that the character's life is boring and meaningless before the plot's inciting incident. I can absolutely see why that might be considered an important detail about the character, but keep in mind if it's boring and meaningless to the character, it's boring and meaningless to your audience.

You know how I said earlier that writing tips should never be hard and fast rules? Well this is in regards to that Show Don't Tell rule, and it's an example of TOO MUCH showing lol

It is possible to do a daily grind in an interesting way, but only if you include a Shake Up right away. And you have to look at the 3 questions a little bit differently.

So for example:

Castiel POV, and he works in an office. His daily routine is to always get up at the same time every day, he goes for his run, he grooms himself, he has his breakfast, he goes to work and talks to Kelly about how Jack's doing in kindergarten for a few minutes before going into his office. Adler comes in to be a prick, Castiel hates him for it, and then he does his reports, has lunch hiding in a corner of the lunch room so that his co-workers will leave him alone, he does more reporting, leaves an hour after his shift technically ends, goes home to a lonely apartment that maybe includes a pet who is the only being that shows him affection, has an unsatisfying dinner of leftover takeout while watching a mindless reality tv show, then he goes to bed.

Ugh.

BORING.

Which, yeah I get it, the point is that his life is boring. But now the story is too, and I've clicked the back button before I can see how exciting it's capable of getting.

Question 1, does your character need to know this?: No. He knows. Poor thing definitely already knows.

Question 2, does your audience need to know this?: Yes, but...

Question 3, does the character/audience need to know this NOW?: Yes, but new question for ya:

Optional Question 4, why does this need to be separate from your plot's inciting incident? The answer to this 4th question is usually that it doesn't.

Chapter 2 of this type of beginning usually shows the shake up of Castiel's day. My advice is to start with the shakeup, and sprinkle in the details of what you would have put into chapter 1 to show the contrast. It's far more interesting to learn how boring Castiel's day is by starting with the shake up.

So, same scenario:

Castiel's alarm doesn't go off for some reason, OH NO HIS ROUTINE IS SHAKEN UP! You're explaining his routine while also stressing him the fuck out because he has to rush, or skip something that he normally needs to do. Action! Interesting! He gets to work late, and has to miss his conversation with Kelly about Jack because she's telling him that Adler's already in his office being a prick because Castiel isn't there waiting for him like he always is. Oh shit, he's pissing off his asshole boss! Conflict! He's so flustered by the shakeups that he misses something on his report, and he gets a call from that new marketing guy Dean Winchester who asks if they can have a meeting about it when Castiel normally takes his lunch. BAM! MEET CUTE OPPORTUNITY! While Castiel is getting all flustered by how pretty Dean is while they talk about TPS reports, he can reflect on how this is both better and worse than hiding from his co-workers in the corner of the lunch room. The rest of the day after that meeting he's thinking about how weird this day is, he still goes home an hour late, he talks to his pet about his weird day when he gets home, and maybe he still eats leftover takeout, but he's not paying attention to the reality tv show because holy shit he wants to count Dean's freckles.

In this example, you're Telling the audience about Castiel's normal routine instead of Showing them. But since it's during a plot heavy chapter, it works!

Lemme see if I can TL:DR this...

As you're reading, ask yourself who needs to know this information, why do they need to know this information, and why is it important for this information to be included early instead of later?

If the answer to any of those questions boils down to "this is backstory" instead of "this kicks off the plot", then you've started too early.

I hope this helps? I'm always nervous about giving writing advice because so much of the time I have no idea what I'm doing, and I'm just feeling around in the dark. And I definitely do not ever want to hurt an author's feelings, because this hobby is so fucking hard, and we're all fragile. Even authors who welcome con-crit with open arms will have a weak point that they're unaware of that might get poked wrong and cause a crack, ya know?

I hope anyone who gets this far who might see their own works reflected in my examples understands that I have a lot of respect for their ability to put their work out into the world, and I want them to keep doing it. We're here to have fun, okay? Okay. I love y'all 💜

#ltleramblings #writer's angst #also i think some of these problems can be solved with a prologue #but that's something i'm literally exploring in my current WIP #so I have no idea if I'm doing it right #and i might be breaking all of my own rules with it lol

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