#& can people's attitude to them be used to make statements about one's personality | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nothorses · 3 months

Note

What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

I think trying to find one perfect answer that applies universally is the critical mistake here. I mean, I am a gay man. I say this because as of yet, that's the clearest answer I have for myself personally; maybe there's a possibility I experience attraction to a woman at some point (maybe I already have???), but I don't really have clarity on that right now, and it doesn't serve me to shape or explain my identity around "maybe"s.

Trying to pinpoint exactly what it is that attracts me to other men, specifically, is also like... not that useful. I used to find myself really attracted to feminine men specifically; not feminine women, not masculine women, not masculine men, not androgynous anyone, but feminine men. Specifically, men who were feminine in a very particular, long-hair-certain-attitude kind of way.

Recently, I have found myself appreciating, more and more, a certain kind of masculine body type and gay masculinity that I was never really interested in before. I find it incredibly hot. A lot of that coincides with things I appreciate about my partner, too, and things I find myself appreciating more about my partner as time goes on- as well as things my partner expresses appreciation for about me!

And I haven't even touched on attraction to nonbinary folks here because, like, it's a massive spectrum. "Nonbinary" means something different for every individual nonbinary person. To my mind, of course there's a possibility I experience attraction to a nonbinary person; how they identity, present, and what attracts me to them are all even more impossible to know for certain than the "maybe"s and the "why"s around my attraction (or lack thereof) to men and women.

My relationship to my own orientation was vastly different pre-testosterone versus post-testosterone, too. I was much more reserved and uncomfortable with relationships and attraction before I started T, and the only dynamic I ever felt was even a little bit tolerable was one where I was the "masculine woman" in a lesbian relationship. I didn't realize until very shortly after starting T that, actually, I like men. A lot. I felt comfortable with my body and my masculinity in a way I never had been before, and I felt comfortable in relationships with men; I no longer felt like I was The Woman By Default in contrast.

And that's all just me! This is my personal, specific, individual relationship to attraction, and how gender- both others' and my own- factors into my relationship with orientation.

I don't think it's necessarily inborn, or completely unchanging for everyone. I also don't think the same factors apply for everyone. I think a lot of different things can be true for different people, all at once, and it's not really useful to try to pinpoint a specific, universal explanation for orientation.

Everyone has a different relationship to orientation and gender; everyone will be influenced differently by cultural factors, by their own ways of processing and understanding the world around them, by the ways different aspects of their culture, identity, personality, and inborn traits and how they all interact with one another, and sure, maybe even by biological factors and tendencies.

Trying to solve this puzzle for the entire world of diverse human beings isn't going to make it any easier to understand yourself. Focus on what this all means for you, personally, and accept that you will never, can never, fully and perfectly understand anyone else's internal world and workings. Things get a lot easier when you can let go of that & just appreciate the diversity of human experiences, y'know?

#advice #sorry if this isn't the answer you wanted anon #and honestly I recommend digging into some academic works around queer and gender studies #try some judith butler if you need a starting point #but like. people have been asking this question for some time & you will find so much more value in the answers of people whose whole lives #are dedicated to exploring the possibilities and diversity of experiences #and putting that in larger contexts with help and collaboration from a whole world of people doing similar work

450 notes · View notes

etoilesbienne · 6 months

Note

out of curiosity, what are the common qEtoiles mischaracterizations, and the accurate characterizations you wished people used more? Sincerely, an English speaking fan who is re-learning French!

honestly i kind of consider it a mischaracterization when people like... make etoiles into this team leader who always knows what to do and move things forward. or like that he has a bad attitude to like... match his fighting skills. or like the dark knight brooding warrior. he says he is these things. these are lies. he lies about himself constantly. i wouldnt trust a good 2/3 of the things he says about himself to be true. you read him clearer through his actions than his statements.

in my opinion etoiles is more like. sturdy second in command. he's not there to lead, he's there to fill in the holes where they pop up. he's there as cover. he's quick witted in shortchange scenarios, but that is so not the same thing as a genuine strategist. in another expression, if someone is a leader, the leader is a doctor, etoiles's role is more like... the EMS team in an ambulance. He's not there to fix your problem, he's there to keep your problem covered until you can get someone else to fully fix it. but that doesn't mean his role is any less important when he's needed.

Etoiles is also, like, so very much a team player if he respects and trusts a person. And it is so easy to have his respect and trust. His trust starts at 100% for everyone. he's also so very very very good at reading people (gesture to the bbh clip where bbh moves his mouse slightly downward and etoiles calls him out on being depressed). He read Mousey as enjoying dungeons and pvp way more and wanting to hang out with her. He's also one of the only people who like continuously runs in the girlies group and makes all of them pvp with him and they all love it so he keeps coming back to pvp with them. Thats how he started his whole thing with Tina and pvping with her constantly. Reading other people also, he loves finding other pvpers so he attacks roier constantly now bc he knows roier can pvp.

What else OH Etoiles loves whining (and this is because Rayou loves whining) that dude will just complain constantly. You haven't seen an etoiles stream if youve never seen him whine. Can't say I'm not kind of endeared by it. With this too he loves over explaining things (RIP armor powerpoint wish you couldve been given...) because he wants to help everyone....

OH and he's very over exaggerated too in replying to people in a complaining way and a self deprecating way and also likes to try to push the envelope with people and he does all of that to try and get a laugh out of others. like he's well aware people find him going "Oh so you don't give a shit about me and want me to die ? you want etoiles to die ?" fucking hilarious and also loves complaining in the first place thats why he does that. if your etoiles isn't complaining and whining then it isn't etoiles. the self deprecating thing is... its interesting bc he does have full faith in his abilities but will never say it out loud unless its trying to reassure someone who is worried. pushing the envelope is so specific he won't do it too much and its like........... from what ive seen (correct me if im wrong) heavily directed at non francophones where if they laugh at something wack he's done he'll try to do it again to make them laugh more. shoutout to the time he made bbh laugh so much when he cursed he didn't get languaged by bbh so he kept cursing to try to make bbh do it again. the dudes a total people pleaser.

smaller thing ive talked about extensively already (u can prob find it in my q!etoiles tag if i remember i'll edit a link to the posts in here soon lol) etoiles hates losing he looooooves winning he's very intense about it lol. its cute!

on a final note even if you don't become deeply unwell about etoiles like i am i think this highlight clip video has like everything he's like condensed into like 11 minutes. You should watch it. It's a good starting point.

youtube

#qsmp #q!etoiles #asks #hope this helps. Ahehe

503 notes · View notes

redrose10 · 3 months

Text

Chapter 10 is here! I thought I was going to be able to post this yesterday but here we are. Comments and messages are appreciated. Even if I don’t always respond I do read them all.

Yoongi X Female Reader. CEO/Arranged Marriage AU

Summary: You were selected to marry the wayward CEO/Billionaire/Heir, Min Yoongi. You went into it with an open mind and heart determined to try and make it work. Yoongi on the other hand had no intention of ever letting you in let alone allowing himself to fall in love with you. Slowly you start to associate the smell of cinnamon and vanilla with the feelings of hurt and sorrow.

Word count: 1,922

Warnings: (May get updated as chapters progress): Arranged marriage, cheating/infidelity, hints of smut (Probably won’t get very explicit but we’ll see how it goes), Sexual Assault, Brief mentions of death, Reader grew up an orphan, General Angst, Swearing

Tag list: @gimeow @kam9404 @viankiss @baechugff @gaby-93 @kayleefriedchicken @igot7fairlyoddparents @jalexad

You and Yoongi both jumped up at Jimins revelation.

“What? How did they know we were here?”, you asked.

“I don’t know. Just don’t panic Y/N. I’ll handle it.”

“What’s going on?”, Jimin asked.

“A very long story but basically Suri’s brother Hwan assaulted me at the charity event and Yoongi punched him so I’m thinking this probably has something to do with that.”, you replied.

Jimin’s mouth dropped open, but before he could speak the bell rang through the apartment signaling someone was at the door and your stomach did a flip. Quickly you put your hand in Yoongi’s while Jimin answered the door. He came walking back with both Suri and Hwan and also the two police officers.

The older officer stepped forward handcuffs already out, “Mr.Min you’re going to have to come with us?”

“May I ask what this is about?”, he questioned.

“Mr. Min you are under arrest for the assault on Hwan Cho.”

The officer turned Yoongi around placing the cuffs on his wrists. You sprang forward, “No you don’t understand. Yoongi was saving me. Hwan was the one that assaulted me.”

The other officer stepped in, “Miss you can meet us down at the station. We’ll get a statement from you and we’ll go from there but since they got to us first Mr. Min needs to come with us right now.”

You continued to protest with tears forming in your eyes until Yoongi turned to look at you, “It’s going to be okay Y/N. Just call Jin and tell him to meet us at the police station.” You nodded watching as the two officers walked him out of the apartment with Hwan following close behind reveling in seeing his enemy in hand cuffs.

Jimin ran off with his phone to make some calls that he knew would be needed leaving you standing in the living room with Suri. She walked over until she was standing right in front of you. Her perfume smelled like a lighter more feminine version of Yoongi’s. It was heavier on the vanilla but it still made your throat burn.

She smirked while looking you up and down. “So I finally get to meet the famous Y/N in person. I don’t really know what Yoongi sees in you.”

“Get the fuck away from me. I’m not going to fall for your mean girl tactics.”, you scoffed.

“I like that attitude. Maybe that’s what he sees. He has always had a thing for being dominated.”, she quipped.

She adjusted the buttons on her designer jacket before continuing, “Look I know a poor little orphan girl like yourself is used to being on the loosing side of life, but that’s not how I live. I ALWAYS get what I want. I want Yoongi and I don’t care what or who I have to ruin to achieve that. He will not just throw me away like yesterday’s trash. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Do you really think he’ll want to be with you if you release that tape and ruin his life? Or after having him arrested like this? If anything he’s just going to hate you even more.”

“Oh please. Yoongi will pay off the right people and he’ll be walking free before the morning. I only did this as a warning so he can see that I’m not going to easily back down this time.”She walked over to the front entrance grabbing a hold of the door handle before turning around to look at you.

“Also, who said that mix tape is the only thing I have that could ruin him? If he’s even half as smart as I think he is he’ll know better than to cut me out of his life.”

She turned and walked through the door letting it slam behind her. You stood staring at the spot she now left empty.

Jimin came running over to you handing you a jacket, “Come on Y/N, I already called Jin and he’s going to meet us at the station. We should get going.”

Unable to really form words you nodded and walked along with him to the parking garage.

Neither you nor Jimin spoke on the ride there. When you arrived Jin was already waiting by the entrance.

“They’re working on booking him in right now. Once that’s complete they said they’ll let me have some time with him.”

You reached out for his hands desperately trying to get your point across, “Jin he was only protecting me. That other guy was the aggressor, Hwan assaulted me. Yoongi didn’t do anything wrong.”

Jin nodded, “We’ll get this figured out Y/N. I’m gonna talk to Yoongi and then we’ll get a statement from you as well.”

You could feel tears starting to form again and you were so tired of crying.

“Hopefully Yoongi can just offer some money or something and that’ll get them to drop all the charges. That usually works anyways.”, Jimin said trying to comfort you. “Yeah I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.”, Jin said opening the door for you and Jimin to walk into the station.

“Sit here. I’m going to go get an update.”, Jin said before walking into the back office. You and Jimin took a seat on one of the benches to wait.

After about twenty minutes Jin came walking over and smiled, “Okay Y/N, you can come back and see him for a little if you’d like.” You nodded and quickly jumped up following after Jin. He stopped and turned to you, “Yoongi is in the seventh room on the left. Head that way. I’m gonna stop in here and make a couple phone calls and I’ll be in shortly to talk to both of you.”

You nodded and began walking down the hall. While you were walking you kept your head looking to the left counting the doors to get to the seventh room so you didn’t notice the person coming out of one of the rooms on your right until you accidentally ran into them.

Stumbling backwards you started profusely apologizing, “Oh I am so sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was go- Namjoon? What are you doing here?”

You heard some whispering followed by loud giggles. When you peaked around his broad shoulders you were surprised to see Suri and Hwan sitting at a table sipping some coffee in the same room that Namjoon had just walked out of.

“I’m sorry Y/N. I have to go.”, is all he said before walking off towards the exit barely even looking at you. Suri smirked when she noticed you standing there speechless and stunned.

When you were finally able to make your feet move you walked down to the room Yoongi was in. He looked tired and beat down and you felt bad for him. You walked over and wrapped your arms around him and he returned the gesture even though he was slightly taken back by your willingness to hug him like that.

“How are you doing?”, he whispered.

“Umm so I just ran into Namjoon in the hallway. He came out of the same room that Suri and Hwan are sitting in.”

Yoongi’s face instantly turned red, “I knew I never liked that fucking guy.” You tried to sooth him, “I don’t know what he’s up to but I’ll try to find out.”

Jin walked in and you quickly noticed his facial expression wasn’t as chipper as he normally is. After everyone took a seat he cleared his throat, “Alright so I’m sure we were all prepared for this but after some discussions the police officers are willing to “misplace the evidence” causing the charges to have to be dropped on behalf of the police department pending a cash payment of course.” Yoongi rolled his eyes, “Of course they are. Just ask them their price and let’s get it over with. I’d like to get out of here as soon as possible.”

Jin looked apprehensive and began nervously rubbing the back of his neck, “Yeah I’ve already got it and it’s currently being taken care of by your accountant.”

“Okay so then why are we still here and why do you look so nervous then?”, Yoongi asked eyeing Jin.

Suddenly Jin pulled out his wallet, “I think it’s just because I’m starving. I haven’t eaten all day and I can’t concentrate. Here is my card, Y/N will you be a dear and go grab us something to eat please? There’s a great bbq place about ten minutes away. Have Jimin drive you.”

You looked at him confused at his sudden request. “What the hell? Jin no. You’re not sending her out in the middle of the night to get you food.”, Yoongi said furiously.

Jin gave Yoongi pleading eyes begging him to play along for everyone’s sake. Jin turned to you and smiled, “Here Y/N take the card. Get whatever you want for yourself and Jimin too. I’ve heard the strawberry milk shakes are to die for.”

You looked over at Yoongi and he nodded gesturing towards Jin’s outstretched hand.

Hesitantly you took the card and walked out of the room to go find Jimin and get the requested food.

“What is going on Jin?”, Yoongi asked getting more and more irritated.

“It seems that Suri expected for all charges to get dropped so she came prepared with something even more detrimental. She just dropped a pretty big bombshell on me and I thought it was best for Y/N to not find out about this right now, at least not from me.”

Jin took in a deep breath his fingers slightly trembling as he flipped through some paperwork, “Suri has something about you that she’s threatening to release to the media. It could really ruin your business but it will definitely ruin whatever you have going with Y/N. She said she will make it public unless you agree to her terms which I don’t think you’re going to like.”

“Okay and what exactly are her terms then?”

“She wants Y/N to not file any charges against Hwan for assaulting her. I advised that I think that it is possible but I would ultimately leave that up to Y/N.”

Yoongi nodded in agreement, “Of course as it should be up to Y/N.”

“Suri is also requiring that you either allow her to move into your penthouse with you or that you purchase another penthouse and you live with her there. She also expects you to continue a relationship with her as you have been until recently.”

Yoongi scoffed, “She has officially lost her fucking mind. I am not doing that under any circumstance. At this point I’d rather just let her release the tape and be done with it.”

Jin sucked in a quick breath, “Yoongi this much much bigger than any lyrics in a mixtape.”

Jin slid the photo he had been holding onto over to the other side of the table, “She gave me this and said you’d probably want to see it.” Looking at the photo in front of him Yoongi felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest, his breathing became rapid and no matter how hard he tried he felt like he wasn’t getting enough oxygen. The room began to spin as he looked around through blurry vision. He began shaking his head side to side mumbling, “No no no no…”

“Yoongi we need to get this sorted out immediately, especially if you want any chance of things to work out with Y/N.”, Jin said pointing to the sonogram lying on the table in front of them.

#bts #yoongi fanfic #yoongi x reader #cinnamon&vanilla #yoongi fic #yoongi angst #min yoongi #yoongi x y/n #arranged marriage au #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts yoongi #yoongi au #yoongi #suga

222 notes · View notes

autistichalsin · 4 months

Text

@mewhoismyself reminded me of an excellent, important point, in their reply to this post; they said

Doesn’t Halsin only refer to his drow captors as *captors* if the player threatens to send him back? Like- that’s so sad!! And a lot of players would completely miss it if they were trying to romance and *be nice* to him! Such a price for healing...! ;-;

And yes, you are absolutely correct!

In all other dialogue paths, Halsin continues to refer to them as hosts, or he talks around it. The closest he gets is saying "the house that held me" fell out of favor and was attacked. Only if the player (who must be a Lolth Drow for this option to appear) chooses "so the mighty bear is an escaped pet, then. I wonder if there is a reward for your return..." does Halsin acknowledge them as captors, immediately snapping, "you would be unwise to attempt it, trust me. In any case, the house of my captors is long-extinct. Interesting... part of me still thought of them as hosts, but I suppose captors is indeed more accurate."

This is interesting, because it carries a lot of implications- but what sticks out to me is that this is both a very real and relatable thing for a lot of survivors, and something that never gets talked about. So many of us walk around with internalized self-blaming attitudes, but then... something hits different when you hear someone else verbalize those deep, painful, hurtful things. Human instinct is to protect oneself from those kinds of accusations, and so it is for Halsin, and the threat breaks something. Because it's one thing to tell himself that they were simply hosts and that what happened wasn't that bad, but it's another for someone else to say it and take it a step further by threatening to send him back.

It breaks through something, in the worst way. By making the threat, the player has made it Real again. It's not a distant memory anymore, and it's not something he can make into a comfortable fantasy; it's a real threat now, even if they are dead, because now someone knows and has indicated they would send him to face it again, given the chance*. By making it Real, Halsin is now forced to see the situation for what it was, but he pretended wasn't for all these years; that his life was in peril, that he suffered, that he didn't want it, and that he was a captive, not a guest, not a novelty.

The only way to get Halsin to admit what his captors were is to threaten him and trigger him, which is truly heartbreaking. It's like how one of the ways to get Halsin to show the depths of his care for the player/their relationship, and his real emotions, the most is by acting in an emotionally abusive manner by repeatedly saying they want to break up with him, and then changing his mind; doing this is one of the few times Halsin will show his hurt at the player's hurtful actions, as after the first time, he'll start saying things like, "does it please you to see me look crestfallen? That is the only reason I can think of that you might toy with my heart like this," and "perhaps you care less for me than I supposed..." and "why would you test my patience like this? Sometimes, it is difficult to love you."

Here, too, one of the only ways to make Halsin express that he is hurt, and that the player is wrong in hurting him, and that he does NOT deserve and should not have to accept such treatment, (and one of the few ways to make him lose significant amounts of approval at once, besides committing literal murder, and one of the rare times this is on his own behalf) is by acting cruel and abusive to him. He will quietly and stoically accept so much other cruel treatment, but this is one of those rare times you can see what a deeply vulnerable person he is. It's a recurring theme with him, and it's heartbreaking; "does it please you to see me look crestfallen?" made me tear up.

There is a subtext to that statement- just as there is for "sometimes, I think people look at me and imagine my feelings cannot be hurt." This isn't the kind of statement that comes out of nowhere. This is what arises after being hurt. Quite possibly more than once. Halsin has likely been deeply hurt by people he loved and trusted before.

There's so many layers of sadness to Halsin's character, both in the plot and in a meta sense. The way there's so many heavy implications of him being let down by so many people, affecting his attachment style, and yet that there's so few chances to validate and comfort and reassure him over this, is one of the saddest parts to me. Instead, we get far more chances to be cruel than kind, and most of his most raw, powerful character moments come when the player is cruel. It's brilliant writing, but it makes my heart ache.

*This, the monstrosity of that dialogue choice and the way Halsin acts, is why I am nearly-offended that Halsin doesn't break up with the player on the spot if they choose this option; he doesn't even lose approval. I feel that he should lose at LEAST 10 approval, to match him losing 5 approval for every time (after the first) the player starts to break up with him him and then changes their mind. I love the updated scene to bits, it fixes so many of the mistakes that they made at first, but I feel like saying something this horrible to Halsin should cause him to end things between them immediately.

#halsin #halsin silverbough #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

162 notes · View notes

crossdreamers · 3 months

Text

Have people always thought that gender differences are caused by men and women belonging to different biological sexes?

Not too long ago Europeans believed that men and women were variants of one biological sex. The idea that gender can be reduced to a static and unchangeable "biological sex" is far from obvious.

These days we often find transphobes and anti-LGBTQ activists talk about "biological sex" and the way genitalia, gonads or chromosomes determine our gender and the abilities associated with that sex.

This is a way of upholding traditional gender roles and force queer and trans people back into the closet.

Same-sex sexuality is, apparently, bad because it is unnatural and does not lead to procreation. Transgender people are wrong about their identity because a gender identity follows automatically from their biological sex.

Many transphobes see these statements as self-evident and eternal. It is "the woke mob" that is misleading our youth and destroying God and Nature given facts.

But if this was self-evident, we would expect this belief of extreme gender polarities to be found in the past too, right?

The pre-modern one sex model

No. In pre-modern Europe from Antiquity and up to the Enlightenment and beyond, we find completely different models of sex and gender.

In many parts of Europe you would definitely find strict rules and regulations for how men and women should dress, work, behave and have sex. These were not societies based on gender equality. But that did not mean that they had a model of sex and gender based on biologically rigid polarities.

The four humors

The humor theory of the time stated that a person's personality and abilities were shaped by the balance between the four humors, blood (associated with the element air and dryness) , yellow bile (fire/heat), black bile (earth/cold) and phlegm (water/moisture).

Men were thought to be primarily hot and dry, while women were most often cold and wet.

But people also recognized that there were men and women with a different balance of the humors. Indeed different proportions of the different elements in the body combined with astrological influences was used to explain why persons behaved the way they did.

In Shakespeare's plays a lot of choler (yellow bile/fire) is seen as valuable in male warriors but a problem in "choleric" women. Hence the need for laws to keep them in line. Men and women with too much black bile would become "melancholic". So it is not nature that dictates the behavior and gender roles of men and women, but men.

The big shift

In the book Making Sex: Body and Gender from the Greeks to Freud, Thomas Laqueur's argues that there was a huge shift in attitudes toward human sexual anatomy during the 18th and 19th centuries.

He argues that doctors before that time had seen the female body as a weak variant of the male one. The relative lack of fire and air caused the female reproductive organs to remain inside the body, but the vagina was, in fact, an inverted penis. Anatomists argued that the labia was a parallel to the foreskin, the uterus to the scrotum, and the ovaries to the testicles. There was only two variants of one sex, Laqueur argues.

There was also a clear overlap in other bodily functions. Doctors accepted that there were men who could lactate, because why not?

A Renaissance sex change

Indeed, as the 16th century story of Germain Garnier tells us, doctors might even argue that a woman called Mary could transform into a man named Germain. This change was induced by an excess of heat caused by some strenuous physical exercise, both Germain and the experts of the time agreed.

Both the doctors and the local Bishop accepted that Garnier had become a "real" man and that he therefore had to follow the laws for men from then on.

The important thing here is not whether this transformation was true or not, but that the "experts" of the time had a model of sex and gender that allowed for it.

What is different with is that some people today think that the extreme gender differences they believe in are "natural", as based in biology, with laws given by nature, while the pre-modern approach argued that the differences were dictated by God and the authorities.

The point here is not to say that the pre-modern view of biology, sex and gender was the correct one. The point is to show that the traditionalist "biology is destiny" narrative is not self-evident or "common sense". It is simply based on a different set of prejudices. For most of history Europeans have believed in very different models.

See also:

A Short History of the Roots of Transphobic Science

William Shakespeare’s Love for a Transfeminine Crossdreamer

Thomas Laqueur: Making Sex: Body and Gender from the Greeks to Freud

Marissa Cranell: Utterly Confused Categories: Gender NonConformity in Late Medieval and Early Modern Western Europe

Illustration of the four humors from the National Library of Medicine.

#transgender #trans #lgbt #lgbtqa #nonbinary #gender #history #science #transphobia #gender roles #biology

105 notes · View notes

crystaldivination · 1 year

Text

𝐘𝐎𝐔, 𝐀 𝐅𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆 .˚

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐰𝐞?

Hello beautiful souls and welcome to another intuitive pick a card reading. Today we will be looking at what’s so special about you that makes you drop-dead gorgeous. I hope to be able to bring you some delight feelings and contentment with this reading. It’s quite long so as always please let me know if this resonates with you in some way. I’d be happy to know if you enjoy my works. Likes, reblogs, comments and follows are highly appreciated. Thank you ♡︎

✰ masterlist • paid services • tips & donation

how to choose your pile. take a few deep breaths & look at each piles separately. Which pile sparks an interest in you? Which pile do you feel called out to the most or reminds you of something? Take your time and come back later to it again if you can't seem to choose.

The piles

from left -> right

Disclaimer: this is a general reading which may or may not resonate with you. Take what resonates and leave out anything that doesn't. Feel free to choose another pile if you'd like.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐗𝐀 𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐄.

La feminine mystique

Hello pile 1,

you’re so powerful. Let me tell you what I mean by that. You possess an enormous energy in you which seems to have no limit. This can be an extremely powerful force that can benefit you in the long run if you know how to use it wisely and it seems like you do. Other people often feel "intimidated" by you. They feel compelled to respect you and treat you with dignity. You attract attention without meaning to. For some of you this confidence may stem from what you’ve been through in your past. Your experiences shape and form you to be the person you are now and you know it. That’s why you’re proud of yourself, proud of the strength you’ve gained from your pain and always carry yourself with pride. You don’t let others step on your boundaries and your well-established values. Other people can sense and see this attitude coming from you even if you don’t openly express this directly. You make a statement with your presence. You subconsciously challenge other people as well especially men. You radiate an energy that’s just as bright and powerful as the sun or hot and passionate as Mars or dangerous and brooding like Pluto. You don’t sit around waiting for a prince on a white horse to come to your rescue, you dive into the challenges and face them head one. You stand up and get things done and you do it YOUR WAY. You don’t give in to anyone even if it means to hurt someone’s feelings if you truly believe in something firmly. You’re daring and sassy. You’re words might be harsh sometimes but the truth hurts so for you your bluntness just simply means that "It’s better to get hurt by the truth than to hear sugarcoating false lies". That quality of yours makes you admirable in the eyes of many although for people who is more on the traditional side (referring to the fixed gender roles of masculinity and femininity) they could see you as being too intense, overwhelming or over empowering but that’s okay because you’re not here to please or fit anyone. You know your worth and you’re not afraid to face any criticism because that’s part of life. You’re familiar with that but you couldn’t care less for you’re the one who create your own reality.

To conclude what makes you so special is your renowned sense of self and self-confidence. You believe 100% in yourself. You know what you want and know how to get that bag. You’re just a girl boss and most importantly you’re priceless. You don’t give away too much from yourself yet enough to show who you are. You represent real womanhood and stand for feminism. You’re the mysterious femme fatale who’s giving everyone weak knees. It’s giving successful business woman/entrepreneur vibe. You’re such a win overall.

[Astrology placements] Leo, Scorpio, Aries, Capricorn, Virgo, Pluto-mercury, Pluto-ascendant, Mars-asc/mc, Pluto/Mars/Neptune dom or influence

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤, 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏 ♥︎

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐖𝐎: 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑

A supernova

Hello pile 2,

you’re well-liked for a reason. You’re charming and always outrank others with your tenderness. Your kind demeanor and attitude just make others mesmerized by you. You put others above you and never seem to really want the "prize" of being the best everyone is looking for. You surpass all superficiality of this world. Jealousy, competition or intentionally stepping on others to get to where we want is not a solution for you. You dislike that. You believe in a peaceful and harmonious world. Hostile, judgmental attitudes create a negative, pessimistic picture of the world we live in so you choose to be kind and fair. You see that relying on one’s ego and be full of greediness won’t do anyone any good. People really notice this difference in you hence most might see you as superior to others. You’re so empathetic that people can’t help but want to protect you. You’re very balanced in your way. You care for others but never forget about your own needs. You’re always so put together and professional when dealing with other yet you can relate and connect with them on a personal or emotional level as well. You just have a knack for being sociable. You’re diplomatic and gentle. Others might view you as a soft or even obedient kind of individual but you know when to stand up. For yourself and for others. This makes you admirable and respected by anyone. You very much stand for justice and righteousness. You believe everyone is the same regardless their race, status or anything society would judge a person by. You’re definitely a pacifist. People love you and most importantly they believe you. They believe in you and your power to change the world FOR THE BETTER. A world where everyone can live in peace with each other, where there is no useless competition or harmful intentions. Your picture of a beautiful place where one live harmoniously together and function together as one is a desirable wish for many who believe in togetherness and the collective.

To conclude what makes you so special is your sense of purpose. You call out for a meaning to live and exist in this world. You impress other people with your vision of a world filled with love. Love for oneself and others by being kind. And indeed people who are truly kind have the ultimate leverage. If you give without expectation of getting anything in return, you've won. The obvious benefit of being kind, honest, and loving to others is to affect positively those around us. If you respond with kindness, all the hate will be defused. You only force yourself to be bigger than the negativity. If given the choice, most of us would prefer to be in the presence of a person with a humble spirit and YOU are one. Your energy and vibe reminds me of Marilyn Monroe’s.

[Astrology placements] pisces, cancer, libra, venus-Pluto, sun-venus, moon-Jupiter, venus/sun/Jupiter dom or influence

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤, 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐 ♥︎

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄: 𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐍.

A rebel

Hello pile 3,

let me start by saying that you’re so innovative. You have the craziest ideas but they are all so forward thinking. People see you as a genius most likely. People might even call you "mad" because of your weird ideas but you probably easily prove to them about it. You’re the definition of an intellectual and knowledgeable individual. What makes you superior to other people is that you know you’re different from them and you embrace this so well. You may be proud in nature but never arrogant. Your easy-going attitude is what attract a lot of suitors. Eyes are being laid on you all the time. You’re the cool and fun sis/bro in the hood. What’s unique about you is that you create or like have a different form of expression and you know how to get your messages across using different amount of mediums or modalities. Your different perspectives makes you incredible interesting in the eyes of other people. Furthermore you’re a very good debater. You have your own visions and you’re all about evoking a revolution, changes and progressiveness. You’re most likely known for being a shock factor. Your purpose might be here to literally disrupt the system that we live in now. It's like actually you don't want to do it the same way it's been done before so you create something completely new. You might see that it’s because our evolution is changing and you feel like you're in a role or a position to bring in new strategies for a good cause. You have your own moral spine. You’re strong enough to rely on yourself and do everything on your own. You don’t need help from anyone yet you’re not scared to ask for help when you need it. It’s very admirable to have this kind of balance in you. You’re not trapped, bound or driven by your own ego. If it serves the intention for a new growth and more developed world you’re ready for everything to make it happen. You’re a warrior. You break the norms and find way to improve society like no one else does and that’s for everyone in it not just a certain percent of people. People see you as a source of inspiration. You walk your own path but never alone.

To conclude what makes you so special is your inventive skills and mind. You stand out from the crowd because you own your uniqueness and new ideas. You don’t shy away if you or your different views aren’t being well-received by others. You stay true to yourself while being understanding of them and accepting their differences and opinions. You just continue to do your own thing. It’s really giving Gen Z vibe.

[Astrology placements] Gemini, Aquarius, Sagittarius, Uranus-nn, Saturn-Pluto, Jupiter/Saturn/Uranus dom or influence

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤, 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑 ♥︎

890 notes · View notes

troius · 1 month

Text

What we learned from the war

"Endings are hard" is a something of a truism, but it's borne out in Bleach, where every story arc besides after the first two stumbled at the finish (even the endings of the first two arcs don't really "end" so much as continue into a new story). In the Arrancar arc, the number of characters and plotlines got so overwhelming that an ending that had to be rushed if it was to arrive at all. In the Lost Agent arc, the characters were pared down, but the ending wound up thematically inconsistent with the story anyways, possibly due to real-life circumstances. And the Thousand-Year Blood War somehow managed to have both problems.

The change in direction from "tightly focused character drama" to "sprawling cast of soldiers" meant that it was unlikely to ever give us the development of our protagonist that we craved, and that lack of focus was only aggravated by the widely-reported health problems of the author. And yet, perhaps because we don't get that, because so little of this arc is filtered through Ichigo learning about himself, we get a much clearer statement of the values inherent in the work.

This is most evident in our antagonists for this Arc. Yhwach and the Wandenreich don't really have the relationship with Ichigo that previoius antagonists had. He never knew his Quincy heritage, never identified with their ideals, and so feels very little conflict about opposing them. He doesn't ever develop his Quincy powers, at least beyond integrating them with his already existing powerset. And he doesn't take much of a personal interest in Yhwach, who in turn, doesn't seem to think much of him when he's not directly in front of him.

But for all that Ichigo doesn't end up having much of a dynamic with them, the Wandenreich still manages to maintain a unique character. Every antagonist has a priority, something that they are willing to do great evil for. For Soul Society, it's its own existence, the continuation of the system they've built. For Aizen, it's his own self-aggrandizement. For the Fullbringers, it was simply living another day, screwing over others so that they can't screw you first. But the Wandenreich has no such priority. They simply want it all to end.

That's most obvious in Yhwach's ending monologue, but you can see it from the very beginning as he kills Yamamoto, the man who tried to move on from his bloody past being slaughtered by the man who would absolutely not let it go. Yhwach shows more emotion towards the skeletons of Argola and Huberdt, his dead soldiers from a war long lost, than he does towards any of his living subordinates. And his subordinates follow his lead in showing no love to one another, happily stabbing each other in the back without even the Arrancars' uneasy level of camaraderie. Their movement has no future, and neither do they, so nihilism is the only recourse.

Most of the time. I think it's important to note that every time a member of the Wandenreich expresses positive feelings towards one of their comrades, it's immediately followed by them turning on Yhwach. Liltotto, Bazz, Giselle, eventually, in her own twisted way…even Jugram, at the very end. Sure, Yhwach kills them for their impertinence (he is the bad guy), but he also massacres the Wandenreich faithful en masse. There's no salvation, only death, and he'll enforce that state on his followers rather than allow them to discover any alternative.

I imagine the lesson, and the general attitude of the Wandenreich, was not lost on Uryu Ishida. Even in his relative paucity of appearances, it's he who is at the moral center of the arc. His culture, which he had thought was nearly entirely dead, turns out to be alive, and out for vengeance against the people who exterminated them. It's something he probably fantasized about growing up, and I don't blame him for joining. How could he not?

But at the end, he makes the very easy choice. Calling it a matter of "life and death" is a little on the nose, but it's morally quite black and white. Yhwach has no hope for this world, or for his people within it, or even himself. He lost a war for the nature of existence to a monster a thousand years ago, and never got over it. But Uryu has the strength to look at the horrors of this world and yet hope for better. Because he has people he loves in life, and who love him in return, he can dream of a better tomorrow.

And that's what the ending is all about. Yhwach loses to Ichigo, and it is very much "good guy beats bad guy". But he also loses to Uryu, and to "I hope to have a family with my girlfriend who I love so much" Renji Abarai, and to "I have a tremendous amount of hope to eventually make myself king of everything" Sosuke Aizen, and eventually (in a way I'm still confused about mechanically) to the child Ichigo and Orihime will eventually have, the literal embodiment of the potential of the future.

The final villain of Bleach is not society's tendency to preserve itself at any human cost. It's not individual selfishness, or manipulativeness, or any of the many vices we saw embodied in the hollows throughout the series. It's despair, the idea that life might not be worth living even through all the struggles and horrors our protagonists have endured. Sure, it will always raise its head, sometimes at the most inconvenient, or ill-fitting times. But having its reincarnation be blown away by the supernaturally normal lives of our cast…well, that's as clear of a message as I can imagine.

#bleach #troius reads bleach #bleach meta #this turned out way more positive than I thought it would?#I dunno I guess I just think “choose life” is a pretty great message for a comic book aimed at teenagers #who would have thought the Wandenreich would win me over in the end #even if I still think their aesthetic is kinda silly

58 notes · View notes

lemmetreatya · 1 year

Note

enemies to lovers but it's southern reiner and you're both prize winning cow farmers competing at the state fair ((u make out on the ferris wheel and bicker in front of the official 4-H judges))

oh this request is so mf goaatteeddd!! i just know you care me. you love me sooooo much. this is lifes greatest gift and you have literally bestowed it upon me. i kiss you witj open mouth!

It’s Everyone’s Game — Southern!Reiner x fem!Reader

word count: 3.2k+

content: enemies to lovers, happy ending, slight yan!reiner, reader is quite confrontational

Every single year, he did this — Without fail.

It’s been impossible to attend a peaceful Marley’s Grand State Fair without the most irksome competition known to man attending too.

He wasn’t fearless, or a nasty cheater, or even someone who paid behind door bribes. It was simply because he was just as competitive as you. And annoyingly, he chose your beloved niche to be competitive about.

“Betty’s definitely gonna beat yer Tyler II again this year. Your old boy ain’t got shit on us.”

With a roll of your eyes, you turned around in a huff as you were met with none other than the notorious Four time MGSF winner — Reiner Braun.

“Quit ya talking, Braun. We don’t know jack for certain so we’ll let the judges be judge of that.”

A smirk that was as sweet as summertime honey graced Reiner’s face. He quickly spat the toothpick that was in his mouth and squeezed the crown of his hat before sizing you up. You definitely noticed how his frame was so immensely empowering over yours.

“Oh, don’t worry. I plan to let them judge because then it means I’m winning again.” He teased.

You opened your mouth to rebuttal but before you could, the man walked off.

With an annoyed clench of your hands you made a short and quiet scream.

It just wasn’t fair. For five years in a row, you had won the state fair’s competition for healthiest cow. Tyler the First used to be your breadwinner, until his son Tyler II surpassed him, but you didn’t mind because the competition was between you and yourself.

That was until, Reiner Braun came onto the scene with his Beloved Betty and started dominating each time after that.

If he won again this year then his title wins would be tied with yours — but you couldn’t have that, nor anymore losses or second places. This was the last year of Tyler II’s prime meaning it was probably also your last chance to become a six time champion — and youngest contestant in the history of Marley’s Grand State Fair to do so.

None of your other cattle were matching to Tyler II’s standard so it was all or nothing.

If only Reiner Braun and Betty weren’t in the goddamn way!

“I-it’s a tie.”

“What?!”

Both you and Reiner rose from your seats.

The judges looked towards the both of you with solemn faces. Each and every one of them have been judging long enough to know the feud the two of you had and that this decision was trouble.

“It’s a tie.” Another judge spoke up with a cleared throat. “Based on all the criteria, both Betty and Tyler II’s match neck and neck. There’s nothing else we can do.”

“That’s not fair!” You instantly object back.

There was a moment of silence as most of the people present were too stunned to speak but with a sigh, Reiner spoke up next.

“I hate to say this but I agree.” Everyone looked to the man in shock. Even you made a surprised face at him as you watched him fold his arms over his chest and shake his head.

“This ain’t no fair. There’s got to be an anomaly somewhere. There has to be a set winner.”

You were so close to agreeing with his statement but there was something in you that just wouldn’t let yourself be in harmony with him.

“Wait, what d’you mean ‘you hate to agree’ with me? What, you think I’m wrong all the time?!”

Turning in your direction with a nonchalant attitude, Reiner shrugged.

“Matter of fact, I do, yes.”

Squinting your eyes at him, your jaw dropped as you stepped into his personal space.

“Why, I oughta—”

“Either way!” The judge loudly spoke over you both as they stepped in again. “We’re not going back on our decision. We’ve decided to crown you both first place and that's final.”

“What happens to the prize then?” You ask.

“Well, we’ll split the money between you each and then you’d both have to share a free ride ticket at the state fair.”

"Share a ticket?" You question.

"As in, take a ride together?" Reiner finishes.

The judge nods accordingly, the resolute decision shown clearly on their face.

"Yes, exactly that."

Both you and Reiner look at each other in mild shock at the judgement. Could this really get any worse?

You really jinxed yourself with that one. This got so much worse.

It never occurred to you how little rides were available for two people who didn’t require to be sardined right against each other.

Upsettingly, the ferris wheel was one of the only rides which could accompany a shared yet distanced pair. It definitely wasn’t your first or favourite choice but at least it meant you got your ticket’s worth.

Right?

“God, can this ride go any slower?”

You moan out loud as your head hits the side of the ferris wheel frame. You can’t help but slouch in your position as your hand slides down the window.

Reiner on the other hand sat quietly on the opposite bench. He hadn’t said much the whole ride, only pensively have his macho arms folded over his burly chest. You would have found something to complain about, like how he was assertively manspreading or tapping his going-out timberlands against the metal floor board, but you weren’t in any better form yourself so you didn’t mention it.

“Maybe the slowness can get you to reflect on your behaviour.” He hummed.

With a surprised expression, more at the prospects those were his first words the whole ride, you quickly sat up in offence.

“I—What behaviour?! I’m pretty well behaved thank you very much.”

Reiner looked at you with a face of perplexity. Usually he’d bite back or say something to provoke you more, but for the first time, he didn’t.

A small sigh left the blonde’s mouth as he looked out the ferris wheel’s view. His hand came up to slightly pinch his hat by the front and tip it further of his eyes.

“Look, after today’s competition, I’ve been thinking. Why don’t we just call a truce? There’s no point fighting over this petty shit, it’s tiring.” He said in a low voice.

His words made you frown.

You know you weren’t the most receptive individual when it came to being the ‘bigger person’, but even this seemed bizarre for Reiner to address.

From the moment you met him, he was against you. There’s never been a good day of friendly fire between you — it’s always been fire and opposition. Like yes, he was a good looking guy, and you’re sure he was nice to everyone else — but that's just not the relationship you two had.

If this was a joke, it was a very distasteful one.

Sitting further back onto your side of the bench, you mirror his stature by folding your arms over your own chest. Only difference is that you folded your legs instead.

“I’m not in a laughing mood, Braun. This isn’t time for any’a these games of yours.”

Reiner shook his head as he shrugged.

“Okay, but I’m not pulling your leg, I’m being serious. We’re big enough adults, aren’t we? — I think we’re capable of calling a truce for the sake of peace.”

“Peace?” Your voice went an octave higher. “Between me and you?”

Reiner looked at you expectantly, his face unwavering. With how solid his resolve was, you knew he wasn’t joking and in all honesty, that truly and utterly confused you.

If you were in a any goofier mood, you would have laughed.

“Braun, last time I checked, you hated me — and quite vehemently, may I add. So tell me, why on God’s green earth would I suddenly call a truce?”

With a face of confusion and hands cupping his knees, Reiner bends forwards in his seat.

“Wait, you think I hate you?!”

That caught you off guard. So much so that your throat made a short circuiting noise.

You sure as hell hope this man wasn’t trying to gaslight you right now because now he’s even gotten you questioning every interaction you’ve had with him the whole five years you’ve known his sorry ass.

Holding your hands up in front of you, momentarily squeezed your eyes shut.

“I—Is that a trick question? Of course you hate me, Braun. You always have...”

A louder sigh than before left Reiner’s mouth. Leaning back, the man slowly removed his hat from his head, the other hand ruffling his blonde hairs.

All you could do was watch in shock as Reiner looked at you with eyes you've never seen him look at you with before. The man placed his hat down on the bench next to him before standing up with an exasperated expression. With his hands on his hips, he stood within the middle of the carriage and pensively looked out of the ferris wheel view.

Several seconds passed but they all felt like excruciating minutes. Something about this conversation, Reiner’s attitude, just all felt so off.

Looking up at his towering figure, you couldn’t help but let your expression sour. With his short sleeved muscle t-shirt and Levi jeans, the man looked healthy, but you couldn’t help but think he was sick in the head for pulling such a joke.

“Reiner, I asked you a question.” You tried to assert.

With a pained squint of his face, the blonde turned his face to the side.

“I know!” He almost whined. “Just… give me a second, alright? I’m tryna formulate what I wanna say.”

Your body language slumped against the bench but it was a mask for the suffocating feeling of your heart drumming hard against your chest — more than it has for any contest.

All of this felt so surreal right now. The outcome of the competition, the fact that you were in this stupid ferris wheel, whatever it was that was going on with Reiner — it just seemed like such an out of body experience but you knew you were present.

Pressing his hand up against the roof of the ferris wheel, Reiner sighed before looking down at you.

“Woman, I have never hated your guts for the life of me. If anything I envied you. You seem to do everything so flawlessly and effortlessly and I’m jealous of that. I gotta work real hard to get Betty to beat your boys, you know that? When I win, it feels good. Why? Because it means I’ve worked hard, not because it means I get to see you lookin’ all despondent.”

You thickly gulped as you looked up at the man and in return meet his eyes. There was so much more he wanted to say, you could just see it in the way his mouth twitched every time he looked to you.

But after hearing those words, the situation was becoming more clear. You didn’t care that Reiner thought you did things with no effort. Your whole life had been people thinking the exact same thing, so to you the presumption was uninflecting. But right now, you’re sworn enemy, was telling you how they never hated you or liked seeing you sad.

That he was jealous of you? Envious of you? Inspired to do better by you?

All of this could easily be used to power on rivalry but that’s not what Reiner was saying. Right now, this man was admitting to hating how winning made you sad — and how that, made him sadder.

“So…you saying you never had anything against me?”

You ask unsurely.

The blonde man made a hazy face as he twisted his hand to show contemplation.

“Aside from a lil friendly competition fire, I’ve never had anything against you. Well, at least nothing negative.”

He mumbled the last part but it didn’t go unheard by you. For such a life changing subject, you couldn’t afford to miss out on any information that could help you understand what this was about.

“That last bit, whaddyou mean by ‘at least nothing negative’?” You pointed at him.

Reiner looked as if he’d been caught off guard. He grumbles beneath his breath as he turns his head away from you again, but all it revealed to you was the tale-telling signs as the tips of his ears blushed rosy red.

“It’s nothing important.” He retorts.

“Doesn’t matter; repeat it. You’ve decided to lay everything out into the open so you might as well say what you mean.”

With a lethargic groan, Reiner wiped his hand over his face. You could tell whatever he was going to say was going to be deep considering the uncertain glance gave you.

However, when he let out a dry laugh and placed his hands onto his hips, you knew that was his ‘fuck it’ moment.

“Okay, fine. I didn’t have anything negative against you but I guess the only reason why I was so determined to win each year was because it’d at least mean you’d notice me and I wanted you to notice me because I had a silly crush on you. There. I said it. Happy now?”

His voice was so calm but you could tell he was nervous as hell due to how he spoke in one breath. The way his fingers flexed and his footing constantly swapped, he was anything but confident revealing what he just did. But you don’t blame him, confessing your feelings to someone would always feel daunting, regardless of age. You even felt nervous for him.

But alas, Reiner had taken courage to say what he’d been hiding for all this time. You guess the least you could do was take his ignited fire and turn it into a flame.

Clearing your throat, you patted the seat next to you as you scooched up closer towards the wall. Reiner instantly got the message and sat himself besides you.

The tall man downsized himself to be seated next to you. However, as soon as he sat down, your thighs were warmly touching. You tried to shuffle over but it was to no avail, you were already stuck to the wall. What was even worse was that Reiner’s arms had nowhere to rest. The both of you tried to squeeze each way to make more room but nothing worked.

“Damn, these things real tight.” He lowly joked and you couldn't help but laugh along.

Inevitably, the both of you tried to stick round it but it ended up with one of Reiner’s arms draped around your shoulders and one of your arms leaning on his thigh.

When you initially invited him down, you didn’t think the fitting would be that tight but you guess for a large man, most things weren’t tailored to his size. Imagine how bad it would have been if you chose a rollacoaster ride?!

“How long?”

After a minute or so of silence sat in that position, you spoke.

Reiner looked down at you once he heard you speak. He had his own head being tomb raided with so many thoughts already so he was glad you said something to finally break the cycle.

“How long for what?”

“That you’ve had a crush on me.” You reiterated.

“Since the day I first laid eyes on you.” Reiner instantaneously replied.

With an upset face you looked up at the man. You couldn’t help but notice how that phrase seem like he’d finally released a long breath he’d been holding. He must have felt that way for a long time.

Poking Reiner’s chest you jutted your lip out.

“All that time? How did you expect me to know you liked me? Especially with all that competition shit we had going on, it’d be impossible.”

Scratching the back of his neck, Reiner looked away from you. Although that wasn’t for long because instantly he was back looking straight down at you with a face of admiration — blushes and all.

“Yeah, well I guess it’s my fault in a way. Makes sense you wouldn’t have known concerning how we always seemed at each other’s throats.”

“Yeah. Guess so.” You mumbled.

Although the air was thick with a new fodder of feelings, neither you nor Reiner were able to keep your eyes off of each other. If anything you’re not surprised; Even within these conditions, you were still going head to head to see who’d look away first.

“I know this’ll sound sudden but is it okay if I kiss you? It’s fine if you say no.”

Reiner eventually mumbles.

You knew it was coming because the way his thumb was soothing over your shoulder could only illicit to such things, but nevertheless, it still caught you off guard.

Blinking rapidly, you quickly glance out at the view behind him. You hadn’t noticed but the both of you were nearing the end of your ride.

“And what if I did say no?” You tease as your eyes glance back to him.

With a shrug, Reiner replied.

“Then I’d back up.”

“Without a fight?” You ask.

“Without question.”

You were glad Reiner had concern for how you felt. For now, it had only been him to confess his feelings so it was encouraging that he was still aware that you didn’t owe him anything.

But even whilst being slightly skeptical of these new revelations, you still wanted to indulge just this once.

With your hand on his thigh slowly inching towards the inner part of his leg, you looked up at Reiner from beneath your lashes.

“Don’t back up.” You whisper, your words feather light.

And that was all the access Reiner needed.

With a delicate swoop, the blonde bent down to softly press his lips against yours. His hand that wasn’t already behind your back came up to lightly press against your cheek, the kiss all consuming as the man practically sucked you up.

If you hadn’t believed Reiner had liked you for ages before, then you did now. The amount of desperate panting yet wholesome restraint in not to devour you then and there was so evident in how he kissed you.

Its not like you haven’t been kissed before, but the experience felt so new and fresh to you that it couldn’t help but feel like it was your first.

Your own hand tentatively came up to wrap around the nape of his neck and you couldn’t deny how hot the growl he made in you doing that, was.

No one could say for sure how long you two stayed like that. Especially not when the both of you were practically gasping for air when you pulled back.

With his lips blood and flushed pink — slick with a mix of both your spits — you couldn’t help but occasionally glance down at them as you spoke to Reiner with blown eyes.

“I’m starting to feel like you called a truce just so you could kiss me.”

A low chuckle left the man’s lips. He couldn’t help but to lean forwards and land another kiss to your lips before quickly pulling back.

“Oh, I’m planning to do much more than just that.”

He said whilst pulling you closer to tug you onto his lap.

Maybe, just maybe, coming joint first place wasn’t as bad as it seemed.

#reiner headcanons #reiner aot #reiner imagines #reiner brainrot #reiner x reader #reiner braun #reiner x black reader #reiner x y/n #shingeki no kyojin reiner #aot x black reader

466 notes · View notes

nostalgink · 2 months

Text

Due to some past trauma from previous fandoms, I'm not particularly one to engage in fandom related discourse anymore, but when you not only name-drop me, but continue to perpetuate lies about not only me, but also my friends.... that's when I'd rather "clear my name" than allow for a nasty rumor to circulate when I know it's out there.

I want to go through everything that went down in order as best as possible. Even though I’ve spent so much time on this receipt post, truly this issue was something very small, the root of the issue lies with CookieRuby herself, given she decided to continue to create and perpetuate lies and rumors about myself and others. I know she will most likely continue to make up whatever she wants to have happened to obtain pity from those who do not know the context, but I thought that if she was going to do so regardless, I might as well let everyone know mine and my friends’ side of things. Because sadly I got some very worried and confused messages wondering if the statements were truthful. Hopefully this reassures most that they are in fact not.

I also would like to say while I am deeply upset that someone would lie about me like this and continue to emotionally manipulate, then double down on it all… I still do want to say that if you know people who act as such to please help them get the help they need. The timeline of this basically showcases us interacting at 3 points ever, but its obvious in her own obsessive world she has created, it has been brewing with her much longer. Which all of this is genuinely concerning and I hope she gets help. Despite my anger.

In the beginning

I believe I knew about them prior to them joining the old Darkwing Duck RP server I used to be active in back in 2022. If you know me, I follow practically every artist in the fandom. Especially as the fandom loses traction and there are less and less of us actively creating works. So naturally I followed. I even found her oc interesting. I mean why wouldn’t I? Magentus, while more of an oc now than he was in the past, at the end of the day still is my sona so to speak. I love seeing others put themselves into their own work in their own ways. Unfortunately once I got to know them, their attitude towards others when it came to their oc soured my interest.

In a lot of her posts, she makes claims towards my friends and I (as well as I suppose vague unknown other “harrassers” prior to us. I only put it in air quotes because the amount of lying she does, ironic I know, makes me question the validity of anything she says.) that we actively hated and made fun of her for disliking Drakepad. As you can see in the screenshots provided, that is exactly the oppposite.

I also want to mention the screenshots here are an anonymous friend’s server that I used to be active in. In the screenshots provided by Soy, it refers to their old server. Though I believe there is a point in our screenshots where one is referenced in another. (I am currently not looking at them, so I can recall which is referenced in which.) I wanted to make sure there was no confusion with that. These were provided to me by Drake. I could not find them on my own. This was her asking about playing her oc initally. and some stuff I didn't screenshot previously I think?

On Soy’s Side of things

Initially I had another draft of this whole rant, but because of these screenshots I got so peeved that I spiraled into a mad disorganized rage due to the ridiculousness of all of this. So I thought it would be best to rework my words into a more composed response. Personally I had read the first set of messages after they had happened, but when it comes to the discord screenshots, these were new to me. We were all suspicious of her potentially using an alt account on tumblr to ask as a “friend”. Because while I cannot say the same for my friends, I had online friends when I was young who pulled very similar stunts to continue to emotionally manipulate me into remaining their friend and under their thumb. I do not fuck with that sort of behavior anymore. And to note from Soy they said that they had joined their old dead DWD server and immediately dmed them. The obsessive manner of her continuing whatever game she thinks this is is a genuine concern and big alarm sounding that she needs to talk to someone. She is older than me, but I have already dealt with extremely similar people in my preteens, so it’s sad to see someone being so immature like this. (I hit the 30 post limit so the screenshots will be in the reblogs for anything missing)

responses to tumblr posts

Starting with the post that finally prompted this response, I want to cover my personal opinion of each thing mentioned. Unfortunately as you will see, I do not have proof for my own ponytown run in personally, but if you read all of the messages provided, you can probably tell who’s more truthful considering it’s a 1-0 with me having evidence and her none. You’ll notice she remains vague when she can, which is most of the time.

First we need to all heavily note that this was a supposed dream. She is her character Hannah in her dream, alongside Drake. Soy, an anon, and myself appear as “hooded people” in her dream and do an incantation on her in order to curse her to not be with Drake. I suppose this causes a curse that forces Drakepad to be real in her dream? Then we say quotes she is claiming we said. I will get to that in a moment. This is a summary so that if she deletes the post linked, you still have me explaining it. (I wrote this last night, unfortunately as of right now while I was acquiring links she did in fact delete the post. Likely because of my warning post from the other day. So she is stalking my account still.) Then her own oddly crafted happy ending where the spell is broken and she gets her ending of support.

Now I’ll cover the “quotes”

“Drakepad is the only true ship”

You will here her claim people saying this to her often. In reference to my friends, such claims have been proven false. We supported her opinion despite our own. Even comforting her and letting her know its awful for anyone to try and pressure her over such a simple difference in taste. Also adding the fact we supported her oc x canon even though she could not RP it in the old server.

“Darkwing DENIED YOU” with her claiming it is something I said to her in Ponytown.

I will go more in depth in exactly what I said in ponytown further down, but I never once said this. She insisted that my opinion was that her oc x canon was not valid. I was Negaduck in game, then I specifically swapped to my Magentus pony and stated how hypocritical it would be for me to say such a thing. Then proceeded to let her know, though I was annoyed, that it’s alright for her to not ship something she does not like, but continuing to bring up that you hate a ship to people you know don’t mind it or even ship it themselves is rude. Then she proceeded to do something I can only describe as something I am seasoned to as the son of an emotionally inmature mother. Again I will elaborate in the ponytown section.

“She gaved me PTSD by her DrakePad hate. And with her tumblr post who HURTED my friends saying we “FORCED” Drakepad on our server she lied.” Which was aparently what Soy said.

I cannot speak to how soy feels completely on this, but I know they did not develop post traumatic stress disorder from this. Nor have they said this quote if you could not guess. I believe the friend was the one in the screenshots between them and soy on discord I shared above. Again, I do not trust that these are her actual friends. This is not to say she couldn’t potentially have friends who agree with her, I just don’t trust her truthfulness especially with said discord dms. But you as the reader can make your own opinion on that. From what I was told by Soy, they joined (I believe after they realized they couldn’t do oc x canon with our Darkwing in the old server, which was his choice to make.) and asked if they could do darkwing x hannah. Soy and others kindly let her know that they were working on a drakepad relationship, but saw no problem in doing dw x lp x hannah. She accepted I think? But regardless then returned to our server to both brag about how someone finally let her, but soon ranted about how uncomfortable poly stuff made them. Some of this is word of mouth, but you can see other parts referenced back above.

“You deserve no friends.” by an anon

Again, I question the validity of this claim, but assuming someone actually said this to her this is horrible to say to someone. Back in 2020 I dealt with prosh*ppers in a problematic fandom harrasing me because I outwardly was against their adult x minor ship. Unfortunately if you know what fandom I mean. (keep guesses to yourself, I don’t want to bring it up in public.) You know it’s very popular unfortunately. I was sent death threats and people telling me how unworthy of friends, love, or anything they could throw at me. I would never say this to another nor condone saying this to another. Even if CookieRuby is in the wrong here. Everyone deserves the chance to have friends and flourish as a person. I’m angry but I’d never wish such a thing. And while I’m at it I would like to suggest to you as the reader that if you are considering doing such a thing don’t. Block her, move on. It’s not worth it. I’m only here right now to give context, then I’m done. I do not want anyone going after her. I’m just here to show my receipts, not to harrass her. I’d just prove her point if I did that. I’m not that sort of person.

And I was shown her speaking about her inferiority complex. I do not have one, so I cannot speak to how true this is, but considering this was March 2023...it seems despite her admitting this, she has obviously continued to lie about people. So I don’t know if she has that complex, but she is a chronic liar at the very least so there’s that I guess.

Ponytown run ins

The provided screenshots below are from before what I’ll be describing to you. I had to re-listen to a voice note I sent after this. It’s all I have besides the discord message of me realizing it was her. I do not want to attach it just because I keep my voice to myself most times. I’m shy gang.

Starting off I was just finishing my Magentus pony. For a while they had a color palette I had just chose myself without reference and I was finally giving them their reference colors. I was returning to the darkwing rock circle I was hoping to start a darkwing pony hangout at, when I saw a Darkwing pony approach. Now, I don’t know if this was coincidence of perhaps she knows about the hangout from my story. Considering she has alts, she probably was checking my story, but that is speculation. I immediately am eager to friend them because of their pony. But of course the first words from her are “why do you have me blocked?” my mood immediately changes as it hit me that someone had told me prior she had an account. Likely due to the incident in the other ponytown screenshots. I ask to confirm if it’s her and she says yes.

So I simply put that she cause discomfort to my friends and I and that I use the block liberally. During this I am scrambling to try and block her on ponytown too, but unfortunately my block list is too full because I have been blocking Dream SMP ponies left and right. So I decide maybe here is where I can put my foot down on things. I also mentioned a side thing about how the old server I was in had a policy about posting over people, but she seemed to focus on this more. (I do not recall if this was enforced at the time, but still it was focused on way more than the main issue I was bringing up.) I mentioned how she’d post over others. I told her that it wasn’t my main point and to forget that and move onto the main issue. I explain to her as adult as I can back to her Drakepad issue that “You were being rude to people because you could get your ship. We tried to be nice and I just blocked you because I didn’t want to deal with that [anymore].” and the only thing she got from that was me saying “rude” I suppose so she responded saying “oh so I’m the toxic one?” and boy have I heard this one get pulled on me before. It’s giving emotional manipulation. I calmly reply “That is not what I said.” I said something else that I couldn’t recall, though likely just me restating what happened, then she said “well I guess I’m sorry-” I was on a call at this time with my boyfriend while he was on break as this went down, so I began speaking to him irl. I guess I did not respond to her in time because she continued with the classic backhanded comment of “Since everyone wants me to apologize anyway” or something to that effect. It was in that way that someone who does this wants you to just accept the apology even though it was not a meaningful one. She does not have to apologize, no one is making her, but that was her attitude about it. I thought I’d just end it off there with a joke to myself so I didn’t lose it. I went “I have a mother, I can be emotionally manipulated at home, I don’t need this game from you. Bye.” and logged off. Honestly there is when it actually got personal. Somewhere in the middle she insisted what I had mentioned earlier with us hating oc x canon and drakepad and all that and that statement from earlier still follows.

I even have a later note worrying there would be a post on her tumblr, but I checked once and there was nothing so I thought maybe she had gotten over herself…..we are here now so nope. Also this was 2/2/2024 for timeline’s sake.

I was transcribing from a voice note, so if it seems like there are any holes in that ask me, I’ll try to fill in what I missed.

Misc

Lastly here are things I did not know how to organize into the rant. As well as some people making mention to their experiences with her in reply to my Instagram story. I swore I would get all I could and I meant it.

And anyways thank you to those who actually took the time to read all of this mess. I don’t know how I did drama back in the day this has truly been so exhausting to write, but it was important that I did. Honestly despite my anger this is really dumb to have to make, but I do not like being lied about. I especially don’t like my friends also being lied about. And again just block her and do not engage. I do not condone harassment of any kind. I am going to go sleep as I finish writing this. This was a tiring experience. She’ll probably continue but now I am satisfied knowing we’re all on the same page.

#jack flaps #callout post #receipts #drama tag :/#darkwing duck #ducktales #oc

80 notes · View notes

collegetennisoriginstory · 4 months

Note

kind of cringe (and by cringe i mean transphobic and antisemitic) to be talking about harry potter when rowling is a well known transphobe and antisemite and trans and jewish people have been saying for a year+ now to stop talking about this series and this author, giving them a platform and keeping them relevant and in the public conscious. i really really like this game and enjoy your writing, but if you cant do the bare minimum of allyship for your trans and jewish readers then i wont be able to keep supporting this game. very disappointing, i hope you can grow and do better

First up, I think you make a very important point in needing to caveat that we disagree with an author's stances/views (I absolutely do not condone Rowling as a person nor her transphobic / antisemitic stances) especially because NOT doing so would, as you say, continue to keep their books in the public consciousness. I've added this caveat to the original post :)

My bottom line is still: I stand with trans people, and Jewish people, and I cannot abide by the things Rowling has said and done and I fully see those deeds and words as an attack on people I care about. I think, like you said, it's important in this climate to reiterate this strongly, and unequivocally. There's no nuance needed here.

However, I think discussion of the author's work ALONGSIDE discussion of the author's transphobic / antisemitic comments can sometimes be more fruitful than simply erasing all traces of this person's existence, because discussion is (to me) always more constructive than erasure.

In other words, I believe documenting / sharing reasons for one's censure is almost as important as the act of cancelling / not supporting the author (because ultimately, statements like "I do not support Rowling's stance on xxx because xxx" will spark important changes to societal attitudes far more than simple silence will—as the latter will simply be an absence rather than a presence of careful, measured discourse.

I have always engaged with both the asks/messages I agree with and disagree with, and I have always been honest and unflinching in my replies. I understand that you might have a different view ("all talk about a work is bad/too much talk", for instance), but I think there is room for us to respectfully disagree on that.

I will continue to engage where I have the energy and time to do so, because I believe these conversations are the only way we can prevent society from becoming echo chambers / isolated, polarised camps. Censorship (including self-censorship with the intention to withdraw support from something) to me is far more nefarious than robust disagreement/dissent (in the vein of George Orwell's 1984 and Swyngedouw's argument that the absence of disagreement is the state of "post-democracy", where everything is always already decided.)

P.S. I think discussion of an author's shitty stances, and reiteration of allyship has to be done alongside cutting off all material / financial support for said author. I'm more than down with the latter. I am fully in the camp of not watching/reading/buying the books and movies, but I do believe continued discussion of the work and the author's stances go hand-in-hand with this.

Cheers!

#college tennis: origin story #ct:os #interactive fiction #if

73 notes · View notes

you-can-be-what-you-want-to-be · 5 months

Note

People aren't mad because John/Arthur aren't canon, people are mad because the creator made fun of the fans that ship them in the Christmas special

I see… the post has been deleted

I’m just very used to being in bad fandoms where something as small as “I don’t ship them personally” is taken as a homophobic statement, and people have been saying forever if it’s not canon it’ll be queer bait, so I assumed which I maybe shouldn’t have done but with it coinciding with the “John is a child episode” it just made sense

now, I do have to say though, that while I don’t know a whole lot because I’m not on the Patreon, I was for awhile. Again take this with a HEAPING load of salt for that reason since I clearly don’t know the specific situation. Everything I’m going to say I will try to say from an objective viewpoint since I don’t know the situation and will only focus on the facts I do know.

But how is this new? For the karaoke creep special they keep calling it weird to call each other romantic terms. And when Arthur died by not sacrificing the little guy last season Harlan was ROUGH. He said anyone who voted to not sacrifice were children smashing dolls together, that they forgot the story they were in and hopefully this punishment would remind them that actions have consequences. He basically said this is your fault for being stupid. He ended up having to post a semi apology saying it’s eldritch horror story, it’s supposed to be about harshness and not knowing the consequences before hand, and that he teases his audience and that if they don’t like that this isn’t the right show for them. His phobia play through he did a bit as Arthur and John where he was like “and we are NOT doing anything in the shower no matter what the fan fictions say” “let them dream John”

I also would like to mention that word of god should be ignored in these stories and that Harlan does NOT have a PR team. Again I don’t know the situation. I don’t know if he was ad libing live, in which case he should be given more Lee way as self editing in the moment is hard, I don’t know how if he said the most vile stuff alive, or if he said something a little mean but harmless like the “no we are not doing this” “let them dream” or what. Maybe it is bad and he deserves to be roasted, idk.But making jokes about a non canon thing can be a normal thing, especially if it’s a thing people keep bugging you about.

I do know that fandom as a whole has a problem attacking people over though, being someone who frequently got called homophobic for headcanoning single characters as aro, this one specifically has already harassed him about this ship which I’m sure gets annoying, and that he has explicitly said he will poke fun on the Patreon, and that he has said Jarthur won’t happen, and that he is one guy without the means to sort through hate mail removed from situations and doesn’t have a PR team to tell him “hey this off the cuff joke is a bad idea”

all that being said, again I do not know what he said specifically. I think either way a lot of people need to reassess if this is the fandom for them. I’ve seen a lot of people only get into the show for shipping and then get mad when there’s eldritch horror and the attitudes of eldritch horror in the eldritch horror podcast. If he said something that bad then maybe consider getting out since he writes about delicate subjects and it will only get worse. If what he said wasn’t that bad and people are getting mad about being lightly teased but it wasn’t confrontational or homophobic, they might want to leave because that’s just what Harlan does, tease people, and it’s not new and will continue, especially about non canon stuff in his own work. And if you got into and are only staying for the shipping…. Yeah. If that’s the only thing you want maybe it’s time to move on.

and if you decide to stay, know that. Know and be warned ahead of time that you will be teased so it isn’t a surprise next time

edit: so I did get the full context quote and it’s literally just “we want to hang out together alone for Christmas” “platonically, as in canon” “oh of course of course.” This. This isn’t bullying. It’s a little tongue in cheek sure but the whole thing is just saying it isn’t canon. I’ve heard complaints on comments on this post about other stuff he’s done, which I don’t know much about but is also applicable. I did my best to say “either way, this is stuff related.” As someone who writes and has written things before where every single chapter people kept pushing for something I wasn’t going to write I get it. I’m not saying anything he might have done is right but I think it’s understandable at the very least, for a writer to be upset about his stuff being constantly misinterpreted and having fans try to push it where he doesn’t want it.

him reminding people it won’t happen is fine, especially when people keep accusing him of queer baiting. I still think what I said earlier stands even hearing other opinions, because although I can’t say either way, it seems like everyone who is upset says this is a repeated behavior, and if you stay you can’t be surprised by it every time. If it’s going to bug you you have to either be prepared for it to keep happening or leave.

That isn’t to say no one can be upset about anything else but this specific thing I don’t think is worthy of that. All he did was jokingly repeat canon in character (which is much better than like. Someone who keeps hinting at something and never giving it) in a teasing manner. He didn’t say anything negative about shippers, or anything homophobic, just said “hey remember kids, we aren’t into each other like that.” Which is. Fine. It’s annoying but it isn’t malicious.

If the issue is mods or his interactions with people say that. Don’t make it about him light heartedly going “don’t accuse me of queerbaiting.” it makes it so when actual issues like what people are talking about in the comments (if they’re legit, again I try to stay only in the actual content part and abstain from knowing about creators) come up no one takes them seriously because so many molehills were mountained.

If you’re pissed about how he talks to his fans say that, don’t make it about a lack of queer rep when he said day one there wouldn’t be any. Make it about the issue itself. You don’t mention that someone’s a domestic abuser for example after you say “and they have NO CHEESE in their house thats MONSTROUS who does that.” If you want to be taken seriously about a problem you focus on the thing that matters which is. Hurting people.

I guess at the end of the day I’m no one’s boss, but I am tired of not knowing what to believe or not when someone saying something like “no comment” on if characters they wrote are together is homophobia, or a character who’s been Described as a dick acting like one and then the creator gets accused of being shitty (random examples not to do with this specific fandom). If everything is a big deal that makes someone the worst when the subject is not actually hurting anyone… it’s exhausting. Idk anything about Harlan. At the end of the day I’m here for my little horror stories. But I will say definitively that I don’t think it’s bullying to say a ship is not canon and that to act like it is makes it impossible for people who actually care about morals and what someone is doing to keep the energy to stay that way without becoming part of a mob just taking people at their word.

If it upset you I’m sorry, it’s always disappointing when our take on media is dismissed, especially by the creator. And it’s fine to be disappointed. I get that. But don’t blow it out of proportion, and don’t make it about something it isn’t. If you’re upset about the quote say that it’s disappointing without saying it’s punching down. The author is dead and it’s one of the biggest podcast ships out there. If you’re upset about anything else make a post about that issue without tying it to this fun bonus non canon episode. You are allowed to be upset just and if it is about shipping: stop making someone disagreeing with you about a ship a big controversy. You can ship whatever you want regardless of canon and no one is trying to stop jarthur shippers, and if it isn’t about that stop making things about shipping if that’s not what it’s actually about.

#Discourse #malevolent #Masked

82 notes · View notes

femmefatalevibe · 10 months

Note

How can I have close relationships with people while still keeping my boundaries?

It's important to remember that boundaries make close relationships more, not less, sustainable and healthy rather than the other way around. Boundaries are like emotional fences, not defenses. They clearly differentiate your needs and limitations from those of others. By respecting your boundaries and those of others, you're able to foster emotional connections without feeling emotionally drained or resentful of others' independent actions and feelings. Boundaries are the emotional and interpersonal limitations you create for yourself in a relationship. They exist independently of others' actions, beliefs, and expectations.

HOW TO SET & MAINTAIN BOUNDARIES IN CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS:

Use "I" statements to share your needs (when stating your boundaries, ensure you frame them in an "it's me, not you" sort of way)

Share them with compassion and as a means of differentiation, not division (e.g. I know you're dealing with XYZ emotion/situation, but I'm feeling XYZ emotions or dealing with XYZ priorities right now and need to take a step back from this energy-dense situation)

Be honest about your needs and limitations, generally and situationally

Remain consistent with your boundaries and limitations, especially with your time and priorities

Prioritize yourself, build your self-concept, and pursue your goals. Perceive your close relationships as a way for two individuals to share their wholeness with each other, rather than two individuals to complete some emotional need or resource in the other person's life. Close connections compound –don't complete – our personhood, happiness, or sense of identity/self-esteem

Offer support and resources when you genuinely want to, not out of guilt or perceived obligation

State your priorities clearly. Share your expectations and level of willing involvement in any aspect of the relationship with your non-negotiable terms of engagement upfront

Address situations or behaviors that bother you early on before you start resenting the person because you're not speaking up

Express your "no" freely. This one word is a complete sentence. Unless it involves keeping your job or supporting your basic life needs, you don't owe anyone your time or energy to relationships, events, or circumstances that don't support your well-being

Don't internalize other people's problems. You can feel empathy without absorbing others' emotions and responsibilities. Remember your most important obligation is to take care of yourself. You need to prioritize the limitations you require to meet your physical and emotional needs and remain generally happy, energized, and fulfilled in your daily life. Never lose yourself or sight of your goals/dreams to be well-liked by those whom you're connected with. Healthy individuals will naturally want to set & uphold boundaries for both parties in the relationship to ensure you both thrive & feel supported without feeling guilty or resentful over time

Boundaries vs. Expectations:

Boundaries are the courses of action YOU will take in response to someone's actions or attitudes, not a way to attempt to control other people's behavior. For example, an expectation is saying to someone "Don't text me during my workday. I won't be available to answer you while I'm busy at the office," vs. a boundary, which would sound more like this: "If you text me during the workday, I'll be busy at the office, so I won't be available respond your messages until 6 pm on weekdays." You can share your expectations within the dynamic of any sort of relationship. But, ultimately, people are going to do as they please, so remember your boundaries only dictate your limitations and what you're going to do, say, and when you're going to walk away from a relationship.

154 notes · View notes

cosmicjoke · 4 months

Note

i have a trouble characterizing furlan in my head i cant seem to understand what he is like

Well, Furlan's a very interesting character, and complex, I think, so I can see why it would be hard to fit him into any, one box.

Just the fact he's Levi's first, real friend says a lot though. I imagine most people probably never gave Levi a chance, really, to become their friend. They would have taken one look at him, at his seemingly surely, unfriendly attitude, his unsociable demeanor, and probably been turned off. And doubtless Levi's reputation proceeded him. Most people probably thought he was too dangerous to get near. But Furlan wasn't really afraid of Levi, which is very interesting. He knew Levi was strong, as evidenced by the fact that he tried to force Levi into joining his gang. But the fact he even took that chance tells us Furlan wasn't scared enough of Levi and his strength to steer clear of him, like I imagine most people were.

It's important to understand too that Furlan's initial interaction with Levi was an attempt to manipulate and use him. He essentially saw Levi as a mark, as someone he could press into his own service to bolster his gang's standing Underground. Of course, his plan failed miserably, and I think the fact that Levi didn't fall for it was probably a bit of a shock to Furlan. Furlan strikes me as the sort of person who was maybe a little cocky, a little arrogant, because he was used to being able to get people to do what he wanted with words alone. He was used to being able to manipulate others. But Levi saw right through him, and I think that probably forced Furlan to start respecting Levi a little more, and to start regarding him more as a person than as simply a weapon he could utilize. Maybe he initially thought Levi was just a dumb thug that he could easily control. But of course we know Levi is anything but stupid.

We also know that Levi saved Furlan's life at some point. We don't have any real detail on it, other than Furlan mentioning that his own gang turned against him, and Levi rescued him. I kind of imagine, from that one line, that, after trying to lay a trap for him, Levi had been paying attention to Furlan and his movements, keeping an eye on him, and that's how he was able to intervene and save Furlan's life. Maybe Levi was impressed by this kid's guts, by his willingness to engage with Levi at all. Like I said, I doubt many other people, if any at all, had been willing to even give Levi the time of day. Furlan, whether he realized it or not, was probably the first person to ever, really treat Levi like he wasn't some kind of unapproachable monster. And by doing so, he was maybe the first person since Kuchel died to ever treat Levi like a person. All Levi needed was a chance to be someone's friend, and we see where that lead. Furlan became like family to Levi. He became someone Levi was willing to do just about anything for, including going along with his wild plans.

What I get from the dynamic between Levi and Furlan is that Levi, essentially, lets Furlan use him. He acts as the muscle to Furlan's plans. He lets Furlan make the decisions, etc... Even as Furlan and Isabel sort of see Levi as their de facto leader, and Levi indeed leads them when it comes to immediate action, like what to do and where to go in the midst of a heist, for example, we never actually see Levi give out any sort of dictates or put his foot down and tell Furlan no. He seems to leave all of the scheming up to Furlan, and whatever those plans are that he comes up with, Levi is just there to execute them. When Erwin makes his offer to Levi to join the SC, we see Levi look over at Furlan, as if for confirmation of what his answer should be. He leaves the decision to him.

We see this same dynamic develop between Levi and Erwin later on, of course. And this isn't a statement on Levi's submissiveness as a character, as I'm sure some people like to frame it. What it is, I think, is a testament to Levi's selflessness and his commitment to others. He puts his own wants and needs aside for the sake of other people's wants and needs. Levi isn't interested in telling people what to do, or in controlling them. He isn't interested in power. He just wants to help people, and he does that by letting people use him for whatever it is they need him for.

Levi doesn't want to accept Lovof's offer of going to the surface, for example. He's got a bad feeling about it, and doesn't trust Lovof or the situation. But Furlan wants to go to the surface. We know it's something he's been trying to accomplish for a long time. It's his dream. And Levi has always been somebody who, while having no real dream of his own, supports the dreams of others. So Levi goes along with his plan of accepting Lovof's offer and joining the Survey Corps. He agrees to help, even as it's something he himself doesn't particularly want.

I also tend to think Furlan is a bit reckless, and Levi kind of serves as the person who gets him out of binds when things go south. That Furlan's own gang turned on him and he needed to be rescued is part of what makes me think that about him. And the fact he wants to go along with Lovof's offer, despite the obvious risks, is another reason. Levi strikes me as the practical one in their relationship, while Furlan strikes me as the one who might go off half-cocked on a hope and prayer, lol. I think, oddly, he's maybe the wild one of the group. Not that he's stupid. Far from it. Furlan is obviously quite intelligent. But like I said, maybe a little reckless and a risk taker. I think Levi would have been much more content to just keep his little family safe in an environment that he knew and understood, one he could keep them protected from, awful as that environment was, rather than take the risk of going some place he knew nothing about, with threats he couldn't predict or anticipate.

Basically, I think Furlan was the dreamer of their little group, and Levi was there to protect him, as well as Isabel, and to protect those dreams.

Once someone gave Levi the chance to be that for them, to be a protector, he took it. Because that's what Levi naturally is. That's who he's always been. Someone who helps and supports others. And I think Furlan was probably the first real person to allow Levi to be that, the first person that let Levi be who he actually is.

#Levi Ackerman #Furlan Church #Farlan Church #Isabel Magnolia #attack on titan #shingkei no kyojin #No Regrets #ACWNR

59 notes · View notes

pjsk-writin · 9 months

Note

Hey there! This is my first time requesting lol

Anyway can I request platonic or poly vbs with a reader who's like the mom friene in through out the relationship? Idk if I worded that right- for example like reader always has purse that literally has everything anyone would need and probably always reminds An and Akito to do their homework 😭 and just always worries for them making sure they do the right things

thank uuu <33 aslo sorry for any spelling/grammar mistake here's eng isn't my first language-

HIII super happy to be ur first req!! <3 ur free to interpret as u want <3 and dw abt it, ur fine!! hope u like this!! <3

◇ MOM FRIEND - Kohane Azusawa, An Shiraishi, Akito Shinonome and Toya Aoyagi x Reader

Everyone in VBS is almost immediately drawn to your motherly attitude, you were just so sweet to them!

It gets to the point where even the Virtual Singers hear about how amazing and sweet you are, they all just adore you so much <3

Your support and kindness will definitely draw many emotions out of Kohane. She's both very confident with your support and very shy receiving it

You're probably one of the only people to see An's more insecure side, because she feels comfortable enough to ramble to you due to how kind you are about it

Akito will definitely love to joke around with you and shrug off your motherly statements, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy it when you dote on him

The person who will literally melt from your motherly demeanor will be Toya. He's not used to it, and he finds himself looking out for you and your support all of the time

They all get used to just asking you for things from your bag, because they know 99.99% of the time you'll have what they need

They will all light up if you come visit during a practice, and An is quick to whip up some food and drinks for you

One of the biggest jokes with Akito and An in particular is that they threaten to "tell mom" if the other did something wrong. Their faces will drop so quickly

This joke does spread to Toya and Kohane, although they don't use it as much. You can walk into the room to find them all trying to hush each other

Overall, they absolutely adore you, and they will always try their best to return your efforts tenfold <3

#project sekai x reader #pjsk x reader #kohane azusawa x reader #azusawa kohane x reader #an shiraishi x reader #shiraishi an x reader #akito shinonome x reader #shinonome akito x reader #toya aoyagi x reader #aoyagi toya x reader

111 notes · View notes

canadianlucifer · 2 months

Text

Yeah okay I'll finally make a post on my latest Takizawa headcanon bc ever since I made the connection I couldn't stop thinking about it.

In short, I think he probably has npd, or narcissistic personality disorder.

Now I wanna make it clear I'm not a professional, I'm not giving any diagnosis or anything here, this is just what I've observed through his behaviour and how I think it fits the criteria.

I'm going to be mostly focused on his human character, might bring up a point or two from :re, but it's just gonna be the good brown haired boy for the most part.

Going through the list in the DSM-V, first is: a grandiose sense of self-importance (exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

We first see this when he criticises Juuzou for eating in the meeting room and not listening to him because he's older. He's not proven himself to be actually superior, but he believes he is.

And again later when he's jealous Juuzou gets to go on the Aogiri raid and he's left behind to do paperwork.

Second piece is preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.

Now, we don't exactly ever see him like, just sitting there thinking about being promoted or whatever, but it is known that he desperately wants one.

Third is believing that they are "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

I don't have any solid proof or screenshots for this one, but it stands to reason that this is likely why he joined the CCG in the first place. Investigators are strong and "special", and we never see him interact with people who aren't investigators outside of Hide, who he really only seems to vent to, someone he probably doesn't see as an "equal"

Fourth, requiring excessive admiration.

Again, no solid proof, but he often seems desperate for praise for his work and to be recognized.

Fifth is a sense of entitlement (unreasonable expectations of especially favourable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations)

See point 1, he feels entitled to Juuzou's compliance and to go on the raid.

Now, point six, being interpersonally exploitative (taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends), I don't think I've seen. At least, not as a human. In :re I can totally see him using Aogiri to eventually regain the CCG's trust as an example though.

Seven, lacking empathy (unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others), is a hard one.

The way I see it is that he sort of has empathy, but only for the attention. In one of the screenshots I added earlier he says he wants to get promoted so he can help people, but if we look at that statement through another lens, it could become "I want to help people so they thank and congratulate me"

Eight though, often being envious of others or believing that others are envious of them, hoo boy is he a jealous guy.

Like, I don't even need to say anything here, do I?

He is jealous of anyone better than him in anything and everyone around him knows it.

And finally, nine, showing arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes.

Again, when he wanted to go on the Aogiri raid, but this is most clearly seen as a ghoul to be honest. Especially :re volume 3, he's destroying squads with little apparent effort, fights Haise while making snarky remarks, and that monolouge he gives to those two investigators reads so much like "I'm better than you for having figured this out"

A few other things outside of the diagnostic criteria I would like to add is how he clearly has a strong hierarchy, like he views any investigators his rank or lower as below him and any investigators ranked above him as great

Something else is that narcissistic people often don't have high self esteem

And though he may talk big, it's clear he's not very confident about facing the Owl

These are just a few of my thoughts, definitely not everything, and it's not like he perfectly fits the criteria, but I just saw more traits in him than I didn't.

Just another headcanon of mine to add to the list

#tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul re #seidou takizawa #takizawa seidou #npd

20 notes · View notes