forgetmenot-mymoon

[forgetmenot-mymoon]

pebis. What are your favorite vocal synths?

Eleanor Forte and Gumi

#junesucks #vocal synth #vocaloid

[forgetmenot-mymoon]

Eighteen Years Old

Becoming 18 isn’t very special, I know I won’t get any gifts of grandeur. My family doesn’t care and my friends can’t hold parties. So I think I will simply do nothing. I will sit here with cake…I hope my mother gets banana pudding too. Maybe I'll hang out with a friend at most. It will be the same as my 16th, nothing memorable. Prom is right before it so I’ll remember that more then my birthday.

Becoming 18 is soon to be taxes, making my own bank account, investing, learning how to have money and not lose it all. I can vote between shitty people...which is great.

Becoming 18 is graduating and saying goodbye, goodbye to the people who raised me. Saying goodbye to the halls of memories ill never see again and the stacks of books i never got to read.

Becoming 18 is getting out of here, 4 months and 7 days I will go away, far far away.

Becoming 18 is losing my friends: their gestures, their slang maybe that’s not all bad….

Becoming 18 is a new place, I know no one I can be anyone maybe my hair can finally be my own. New friends, new places to explore and hike. I’ll be able to finally make money. It’ll be great I won’t have the eyes watching anymore I’ll be able to finally fucking figure out who I am

My aunt texted me asking "What cake flavor do you want?" I want it to be special but I knew no cake flavors but chocolate and strawberry, when I am away I dream to find more.

Becoming 18 is dreaming but it’s not like dreaming, it’s becoming reality. I’ll get away I’ll learn how to use a washer finally and navigate. Things this town and my parents could and would never show me. I’ll get friends, maybe I’ll finally recognize myself in the mirror.

#eighteen #writing #birthday #tangents

[forgetmenot-mymoon]

“And here is Ivy Lawson, the Valedictorian graduate of her year.”

Ivy twisted her hands together with a smile, they had started to lose their color and spasm like forgotten limbs. The aging man’s voice boomed all those petty achievements of mine. As I walk down those dusty steps their voices sway like currents of El Nino and La Nina around me.

“Did you hear she's gonna study soul science now?”

“Such bullshit!”

“It's always the girls!”

“I’m surprised she's so well-behaved after all...You should be more like her!!¨

“Pseudoscience has been rampant since the war, but even in chemistry graduates?”

“Lawson is even going overseas!”

“To a big college? I'm surprised she didn't leave sooner with her smarts,”

“Well…”

“She doesn't look very sick.”

“Wonderful!”

“She looks just like her mother,”

¨Ẅomen in science…Huh,¨

“Hysteria,”

They always acted as one wouldn't hear. The creature wasn't happy about it either, its shape sharper than usual, I’d been seeing it more and more lately, first it was dreams then the being drifted into my reality.

I approached Mother and Father, they pretended not to hear, their smiles bright and joyous, I did not pretend, with my constant frown still on. Mother quickly hugged me. We sat clapping like happy clowns. I stared at the filmsy piece of paper, my name engraved on it with her blood. It should've been hers. My parents were hesitant to let me go overseas or let go of my hand at all…I remember my mother's cries more than the bird songs.

My parents and us-I mean me- finally left the building after the one z-named man, Zeeman, was called on to finally get his diploma. My parents' hands intertwined, unlike their hearts. Father led me outside.

I stared at the being, it was mutating forms and shapes like a kaleidoscope while I took a sip of champagne, I needed it greatly. Soul science was the only way to figure this thing out, furthermore, I needed a way to get Edi back, an apology with an eulogy. The restaurant’s food was dull especially for the price, I fear that was more my fault then the chiefs.

My trip was a season away, I had all the world to prepare but my heart tugged in my chest as my family ate quietly at the restaurant (which we could not afford half on the menu) One of the many side effects of that day. That day…it was all my fault. In all the noise, I wish I could get away.

***

The time came too soon, in a way it was like a lion outside the door. My room didn't have enough supplies to survive, and the train was leaving soon so I had to eventually face the hungry beast. The being had been only a circle in my vision as of late, my luggage handler flatting my fingers with the weight. Mother kept rechecking if I had everything, especially my medications- i wish i didn't have to take them- they felt like poison in my body. Even if i knew the exact compounds and bonds they were made of.

The door felt heavy like one of a prison as I exited into the light of the sun. My new heels make a click click click against the paved sidewalk as I make my way to the train. Both mother and father not even a step behind in case I faint. I fainted a month ago and now they’re convinced I’ll faint at anything. My hand tightens my collar as they finally talk to each other, falling behind ny quicken steps.

Ivy boards the train as the couple waves with weak smiles and worried brains.

The train took forever to get to the school, while prestigious it was also outlandish…if you couldn’t tell from the degree of “Soul Science” existing.

My knees and hips started to pound like machines grinding together. Sitting hurt for too long but standing was sometimes even worse, especially with the headaches and chest pains. My bones felt brittle as I stand, finally my stop. However, it was just to get on another iron death grip. I paced around as I waited but that just caused the pain to increase- of course it did- Nothing ever helps much. These meds, those heating pads in my bag, all just placebos.

The sun had risen once again and put the stars and mysteries to bed by the time I had finally arrived at the building of her dreams. My dreams. Talk towers of beautiful gothic achitature, beauty windows. It was unlike the churches I was taken to, it was not a place for the sick, but a place for the loved. Sick people are loved, but not like this. For they never can be since they are one step away from not being able to love. This made me as a sick person, feel a bit out of place. No matter. It’s still beautiful, especially with the reflections- even if the being is there in those said reflections with its dark eyes.

Other than some Ivy in the buildings it was clean, I didn’t think you could keep something so tall and huge clean and beautiful, but I guess it can be done. For once beautiful tall arches (that were not the gates of heaven) awaited me instead of corridors with the smell of acid and sterile as nurses or nuns (depending on the week) ran around trying to fix the unfixable. Tall towers of Babylon reaching towards the heavens, they could never see, instead of sad little squares like an unbaked brownie that I was used to.

The doorways were so grand that they were palaces all by themselves, artistry etched into every little grain of the wood or stone. The university had buildings made of either, and: fusions of materials.

The school was…mostly men with a few female exceptions who either hid from said men or gained their affection. Patriarchy at its finest. I was in the group that hid. As my first year went on the Ivy grew more and more on the walls and windows, trying to block the sun.

---

Ah, you wanna hear about Ivy Lawson? Well, Ivy was my only real friend there looking back on it. She wasn’t good at humor, but she tried to be. We met in the library when I was doing a project on the compounds inside one's hemoglobin and how they differ throughout the body- oh you don’t wanna hear about that- well she came up and correctly me on how glucose, yes, glucose works. I was like you stupid bitch of course I know how glucose works- I was wrong. If I had Ivy my first year I would’ve graduated with honors.

---

My friend and I started doing walks to try to help the aches, constantly getting worse as the year went on. I had to skip classes and that caused my mood to worsen. However, they were always there to keep me going, physically and mentally. I hate admitting this but I even had to resort to cheating. I couldn’t even do exams with that thing staring at me.

Thankfully now that it’s the second semester my mood has lifted. Mother and father are coming to visit in a few days, I’m not very excited about it. Especially if they hear of my depression…not to mention the fainting.

---

The fainting spells got worse as the year went on, and Ivy went fainting again and again, I tried to help her the best I could but the best I could was to simply catch her. It could happen on walks, in lectures, or even once during an exam! I wonder who was there to catch her after I graduated?

---

When the mother came to see me I introduced her to my friend. I wanted them to catch me in case and calm Mother and Father down if anything happened. Mother worried that I was growing more pale and said my fingers looked weirdly misshapen. She was just worrying. While fathers eyes looked tired as always from overnight shifts, I’m surprised they let him off to visit me.

My friend, they helped so, but they were a senior and I was a mere freshman. We had picnics together, rode the bus together, and had lunch every day to try to delay the inevitable abyss or at least have infinite memories, nothing is infinite though. Ivy’s greying hands interlocked once again with her nerves infinity spiraling on the lost star.

----

I left the school graduating not with honors, Ivy thought even if I didn’t complete the classes I should’ve gotten it. She always praised me for my intelligence. She was so kind. She never replied to any of my letters, I wonder what happened to her. I hope she’s okay, maybe she’s finally with Edith.

---.

The mail. The mail.

It was thick bursting like a pregnant woman’s stomach wanting to be released into this world. I felt- I felt- denial I wanted to deny it. I wanted to deny the package its right to live.

It felt like a sin to open, like my hand would be slapped away by a faithful nun.

I did it anyway.

The journal, the author's name was scrubbed out on the top left of the cover. Every mentioned scribbled out like dirty history and forgotten stars. Some of it was a personal account…of other worlds, realms, spaces, plant life. It has diagrams and drawings is such. It was like an encyclopedia but not earthly. I tried to keep the knowledge in my room but I couldn’t resist its touch. I brought it to the library one day and whispers around me rose like they did in that auditorium years ago. They are all foolish.

I grabbed onto those ramblings of madness. The infinite possibilities. The infinite worlds that aren’t like our own. What strange plants and beings await out there! The plays of strange societies, the different planets such as Mars, Carcossa, Luna, and Cykranosh and what is on them such as The Great Eye

What species inhabits the great moon and planets? What intelligent bulbous life is now ceased. I want to see it all. It’s the truth. I can see Edith. I can see her, her face that is so alike my own, the curves of the jawline the little cute nose, and the peaceful expression she had before her soul made its exit into the realms!

Once I opened the journal, the creature became ubiquitous. As soon as my eyelids opened, it was there above me, then on the side, then on the other side then again and again- when I closed them its eyes were there in my lids. Refusing me my peaceful abyss.

I didn’t know what day it was but the book and the creature were always there. Always watching. My heart eventually stopped pounding through my chest. Walks were useless, it was all the book! As the sun rose and fell I stayed there as Luna watched. My mind turning to brownie batter as the words encompassed my soul.

As Ivy read it she became engrossed, however, it wasn’t like a moth to fire, it was like Arties to one’s heart. This was her life. Her life was this. Even as the being coiled around her. She forgot the pain of her wrist, the chest pain, and the headaches of her heart overworking. All side effects. Side effects of death…or perhaps life itself.

----

Oh, you’re trying to track her down? I doubt that’s possible. She’s smart. If she didn’t wanna be found, she wouldn’t be. She may be in another realm by now.

#ivy #idv ivy #identity v #idv #writing #prose #short story #I love Ivy so much ❤️ #fanfic #fanficition #the yiths name is Bob #I will not be argued againist #bob ❤️

[forgetmenot-mymoon]

The Hunt For The Abominable Snowman

----- Authors note:

For context, this is the second fanfic I’ve like ever written and uh so this was supposed to be romance- yeah shit happened. I am planning to eventually make a part 2(which will hopefully actually have romance) but I have like 4 other things I wanna write so that’ll be a while. Enjoy.

TW: death

-----------------------------------

“The snow falls every year here.” Jack's trying to be the “adult one," he’s the babysitter for Orpheus.

“I think the snow falls here every day” Wujiu, the black guard retorted. He had a whole puffy coat over him. Before we left he said it was for the white guard, not him. However, the man was curled up, his knees to his chest, even shivering a bit while holding onto the umbrella like always.

Orpheus always needed more hunters however the summoning ritual wasn’t as simple as everyone would like. He needed an item from the dead -usually a weapon- Or even better a body. So who better to send the dead themselves? Maybe he thinks we would be like sniffer dogs. The same people weren't always picked, except Jack always came along, he loved fresh blood. Along with Jack, this trip was me, Joseph, Wujiu, and Bi'an.

This is my first time out! The air outside the manor smells so much cleaner even with the icy drops of the plateau threatening my gills.

You may be wondering how a bunch of ghosts snuck into towns to find bodies, well it was all handled by Orpheus “associates," They provided transportation and shelter for us. We had passed through and stayed at the village before the forest. We weren't allowed outside where people could see, the associates kept us locked up. the place had a reputation for cult activities and witch hunts, i couldn't focus my eyes on anything but outside for the time we were there. It was similar to my village in ways... I had seen symbols of worship hung all around... Less than I would’ve expected from a town with a cult reputation and from the rumors from outside the town they even participated in witch hunts.

After we finally got to the end to the town and the beginning of the barren forests, not even birds sung. while I’m more of a fish person, bird song is always welcomed. Bird songs are calm like gentle waves.

“Here, now you walk.” the old gruff associate gruffed out.

“Okay I think this would be faster if we spilt up” then Jack was gone, I turned,

Wu Chang was gone.

Joseph stood there and stared for a few seconds. “Well Lady Grace, I’m going to take some pictures. This scenery is delightful."

The cold air blew in my face. I was alone.

Looking at the footprints, Jack had gone to the south, opposite way of the wind. Joseph to the east- why did he wear his pointed shoes even out here?- There’s no sign of where Wu Chang went. I guess I'll go north. The coldest way would probably not have anyone, so I wouldn’t have to worry about running into anyone or talking.

Thankfully the manor gave us coats, it was even colder than the water was on snowy days, even after it turned to ice. Being able to float only helped a bit with my speed, not my temperature. I hated those days when it was too cold to swim, there were no splashes, almost no life. it was a horrible idea to go north. The snow had already gotten in my boots even though I was floating, it hasn't even been 10 minutes. If I got lost how would they even find me…it’s not like I could scream- well I’m sure one of them would figure it out…right? I feel like those thoughts jinxed myself, as they always do.

I step more and more into the dark woods, birds fly by every now and then, but I don’t sense anything amiss. The winds got more rough as I pulled my hood over my head, making sure to tuck my braid inside it. It gets worse and worse as if a god is doing it, finally I stumble across a cabin. A neatly decorated one, a songbirds nest on the roof. Birds flying around nearby. My gills felt like the ice was about to break them open, It was too frigid to care whether there were people inside. I knocked, no answer so I jiggled the knob and there it went, opened.

The cottage is similar to the village buildings, it doesn’t have any religious decor but it’s as modest if not more as towns like this are. The first room is a kitchen, looks like no one has cooked for a long time but I open the fridge and there’s fresh meat? Do hunters live here? The next room is a living room, I see a sofa on the left, and on the right side, there are two more doorways. There's a rocking chair in the back, creaking. This cabin is so far from the town, at least a 30-minute walk since it was a 20-minute float. I do wonder why anyone would live this far away. Perhaps to get out of the cult? I would’ve preferred an island over a snowy taiga. I wish I could’ve escaped to an island, I wonder if whoever lived here did- oh well they didn’t.

That is a skeleton.

Years of decay at least- it has flowers all over it surrounded by candles. I really hope this isn’t a sacrifice or murder, I don’t need more of those. The skeleton is tucked in next to the couch on the floor, chains on her wrist covertly hidden with blankets. birds sang softly outside, like music to a goodbye. The body is pretty fully decayed so maybe more of a shrine? Does the cult of the village do this?

The wind blows in the cabin, and my body shakes from the sudden drop. I don’t really know how to light a fire but I’m dead so I should be fine.

I jinxed myself again,

The door near the rocking chair on the grade opens, I didn’t notice it. Must be the back door. a man steps in, a living man.

He looks at me, blue dots behind a white mask. The shivers start up again. His eyes are that of a dead man’s, of an inhuman creature- but he’s living, I hear his deep breaths. As he approaches the small flesh I can make out is the normal color, not grey. it has blood pumping behind- and if he was dead he wouldn’t be able to be here, he wouldn’t be so solid, he wouldn’t have that axe.

Is this the guy we’re suppose to find? He looks like a hunter- but he’s not dead- Oh he has an axe-

He’s not dead.

I’m locked against the wall, next to a dead body -which still vaguely smells even with all the flowers- with an axe to my neck.

“Why the fuck are you here.” His voice is like a shark circling its prey- or in this case a wolf? Or are those rabbit ears on his hood? For a living man his hair is almost as pale as Joseph's, much more unhealthy looking though.

His statement was more of a threat than a question I lift my hand slowly praying- well not praying- hoping that he wouldn’t cut my head off and try to gesture to my lips to try to say I’m mute.

After what feels like five minutes of him staring and me gesturing and opening my mouth and even shaking my head. He cautiously takes away the axe.

“Don’t touch or go near her again.” He says as I step as far away from the dead body and closer to the door he came in, which I assume is the back door.

He hands me a cup of water, thankfully a good thing about being dead is I can, one, not die (still feel pain though) so I can’t die from poison, second I’m naiad, I can tell it’s clean water. Just in case I put a drop on my gills, it doesn’t sting. I take a much-needed sip after all the traveling. I missed being anywhere near water, even a few drops are nice. Snow is much different more confining, trapping like a cage. It traps water. Water is more gentle freeing, it flows, ice is hard and frozen. Both will kill you but water fills you up, ice traps you. I prefer suffocating rather than being trapped as I die, slowly crawling, trying to escape- even if I did that in the water too-

“Are you okay? Why are you here? Who are you?”

It seems he was waiting for that- he was really holding all those questions in. I’m guessing that the "Are you okay?" question is because of how much I was staring. He taps his claws on the counter behind him near the sink, I didn’t even notice the scratch marks when I came in.

I open my mouth and shake my head, in response, he walks up to me and shoves a book and pen in my hand, he picks them up from the kitchen counter. By book I mean an already written book called “Born of the Winds” It's been heavily annotated it seems by the same pen he shoved in my hand.

While I despised my life before this, at least I know how to write, even in cursive.

However I don’t write in cursive in case he doesn’t know it, he looks on head tilted a bit like a dog. I’m unsure of how much info to give him so I just write the basic “Yes, to find a new hunter, Grace,”

He reads it slowly, I wonder if my handwriting is bad until he finally gives it back

Out of anxious impulse of the silence I write “Why this book?”

“Oh- it reminds me of myself, the character has the power of wind like me.”

He has powers but he’s still alive, this is strange. Where’s the others to talk when I need them.

“Are you dead?”

His head tilts again and he takes off his glove and puts a finger to his artery. We make very awkward eye contact until he's satisfied with what he's found.

“My heart’s beating,”

I’ll take that as a very very much alive.

“We are suppose to find a hunter, who has an item and is dead. How do you have powers but not dead?”

“Who’s we?” His voice darkens- I think I’ve said- or written too much.

I scribble quickly hoping I don’t get an axe to my throat (again)

“My fellow hunters

My friends

coworkers?

Joseph, Wu Chang, and Jack, three of them.

There’s more back at the manor

I decided not to mention Wu Chang was technically two.

“Ah Oletus manor? I’ve heard of that.”

He looked up at the roof, it seemed it was starting to decay.

“I got an invite months ago, I don’t fall for such foolish tricks. I don’t even know how it got to me, I don’t have a mailbox. I just found it on the counter one night.”

“We weren’t told about that, just told to retrieve and the manors owners associates got us here,”

“Where are the ones you mentioned scaley fish girl?”

“I don’t know, we spilt up.”

“Well I guess I’ll have to find them.”

“We all went different directions.” I scribble trying to grab his attention, i cant let him hurt the others.

“Did you?”

“Yes,”

He looks at me a long time…

if I could see his face I’m assuming it would be a suspicious squint.

My spear is in my backpack, it’s been sticking out, I haven’t wanted to use it but I might.

I feel my stance stiffened with his stare. He’s wondering what to do with me, this has happened far too many times.

“You stay here, do not touch her.” His voice makes a growling noise at the end, he really does seem feral-I hear a quiet burst of wind that turns louder and louder like a siren. I back away out of impulse and trip- the floor was my comfort. When I look up he’s gone, but the wind isn’t. Dammit, that’s how he’s trapped me, the wind outside would definitely tear me apart, it sounds like a hurricane.

Okay, okay Grace don’t panic. You’re stuck in a small cabin with a dead body and there’s a very dangerous person with magic that could come back and kill you. There’s still water nearby. I turn on the faucets. it doesn’t work well but it’s still some water I can control. Maybe I could use the water to make a path in the wind? No, It looks too powerful. And far too dangerous even for a dead person. Okay okay, maybe I can use the water to get me above the wind? That might still be too dangerous, especially with how thick the wind is screaming. I ease the door- the wind immediately slams it the henges shriek like a dying cow.

Suddenly a woosh comes behind me, Wu Chang seems to have teleported.

“Why the hell is there a tornado?” The black guard speaks with malice. He's still shaking like a leaf even in the coat that weights more than he or B'ian combined. I grab the book off the couch and flip to a new page, the last clean page before the writing of the novel.

“The hunter were suppose to find did it. He’s alive not dead Wu Chang! They’re suppose to be dead what the hell happened!?”

He turned his hand on his chin, “hm”

“Maybe one of Orpheus’s “tests”?” When test was spoke he did air quotes while trying to keep the umbrella in his right hand.

I pick up the pen again,

“Well what are we gonna do?”

“Kill him?”

“Is that the right thing to do?”

“Well considering there’s a dead body right there, yes”

“I don’t know, I think we should ask Orpheus

“How do you propose we do that?”

"I don't know" I sign after a few moments of silent, remembering i don't have to write with Wuiju

“Exactly, I’ll wait here with you and we’ll both dispose of the thing when it comes back.”

That was not a question.

----

There were tea bags so I busied myself with making tea, the white guard had switched in and was rambling about…uh I wasn’t particularly listening….

“Grace,”

I move to face him,

“The wind has stopped”

“I don’t see anyone outside, do you?”

I shake my head as I try to survey the outside

“Hmmm should we make a run for it,”

"It might be a trap," I sign

They switch again,

“I’ll risk it,” Wujiu states stomping out the door before I can stop him.

I hear a thump, “FUCK”

I think that confirms my guess was right.

I race outside with my spear ready

“Hi there again,” that voice is not in front of me. My spear hits a body as the bunny-hoodied man tries to jump down-

Oh shit -

I immediately drop my spear- which is still in him- well maybe he won’t bleed out. I hear the umbrella in the air and then a hand on my shoulder.

“Well…”

While the guy is shocked- I didn’t even learn his name oh god oh god I just killed someone who wasn’t a survivor oh god-

All the voices sound like they’re underwater, I want to go back I want the water I want the fish-

——-

“We should just kill him”

“I could always just take a picture,”

“He needs to be dead to be a hunter so let’s end him now.”

I awake, groggy, This is what happens when you’re the only- I felt it's a bony shoulder on me- They sat me next to the damn skeleton i realize as I swim up.

“Oh-“

“Grace, could you not almost hit the umbrella? That’s technically us” Bi'an complained after dodging me. If he knew sign language they would know I’m signing why the fuck put my sleeping body next to the dead body,

Joseph hands me the book and pen I was using earlier,

“Why did you sit me next to the dead body????” The multiple question marks were purposeful.

Jack shrugs, I assume he’s the culprit.

“Grace we’re trying to plan what to do with that one.” Jacks razors point at the dead asleep guy on the ground.

“Orpheus might get angry if we kill him prematurely” I quickly note,

“I think he wouldn’t mind.” Jack said looking at his claws.

“Maybe a serial killer shouldn’t be included in this discussion?” Joseph, being the only sane one here.

“Would you like me to list your sins, Mr. Desaulniers? I’m sure Claude would be happy.” Jack baits.

Joseph's brows furry at his twin's name, he closes his eyes briefly and fidgets with his sword.

“Why don’t we take this outside Ripper?”

Joseph took the bait.

"Gladly,”

The umbrella followed them, I was just left there, looking at the boy on the floor

I poked him with my harpoon gently and he shook a bit.

I’m glad he’s still alive…I don’t think anyone deserves this life and Orpheus didn’t tell us to kill anyone….

“What the fuck.”

“They aren’t very smart” I scribble quickly before he sees me- and possible attacks I push the book below his now risen head.

“Mm you’re running out of room…there’s a notepad over there in the drawer next to the fridge, he tries to point but his arm just falls back down...Why didn't he just give me that earlier?

“Could you get me some bandages? I’ve lost…a good amount of blood,”

“In the bathroom,” he adds on after a few seconds, before letting his head mop to the floor once more.

I float to the bathroom behind him, it's tiny and barely fits the shower and everything else…I open the cabinets…that’s where my parents kept bandages- ah here! I grab some cloth disinfection as well.

“Let me help” I scribble over my words, already ran out of room on the dirt mostly-blank pages, he’s right but I’ll fix him up before grabbing the notepad.

He just groans a bit as I sit him down to inspect the wound, I hit his side, it’s not that deep, he would’ve already been dead if it was.

I gently pull his shirt up a bit, I use the cloth to stop the bleeding- at least mostly- disinfect it then bandage it just as mother taught me once- before they realized my power-

“Better?” I have to resort to writing over other words,

“You should get the notepad,”

I nod- unsure if he’s even eyeing me and float over to it.

I come back and sit in front of him while he tries to sit up from his laying-face-first position.

“Feeling better?” I write

“A bit…Could you get me a glass of water?”

I nod and rush off again, I grab two incase- which was the right move he gulps them both down only picking up his mask a fraction.

“Tic tac toe?”

“You want me to play….that with you?”

I nod as I draw boxes in a box for it.

“I’ll go first,” he goes O’s I go X’s

I end up winning, I’m very experienced after all. Back in the village in the rare cases kids came up to me, this is what we would play- plus Robbie always enjoys playing tic tac toe with me.

“Again”

I draw the box on another page

Then another

I end up getting comfy and lie on my stomach

“I have a lot of experience!” I write,

“How much experience lands you this much wins in a game of chance?”

“It’s not chance!!” I argue

“I think it is, you must be lucky”

“I’m dead I don’t think I can be that lucky!”

“Hmm maybe it’s the luck saying 'sorry you’re dead'- wait you guys are all dead? How does that work?”

“I don’t know for sure but the manor owner brings us back and then we participate in matches”

“Do I wanna know?”

“...no?”

“That was rhetorical Grace” He said my name.

“Well we the undead are hunters” I pause my pen as he shifts so he’s laying next to me so he can stare as I write.

“There are four survivors each match and we hunt them. They don’t die they are always revived.”

“So you’re trapped?”

I nod solemnly. I always try to avoid that line of thought. The man of winds just hums, thinking of this information like a hunter who saw tracks. Suddenly the air got thick like fog rolled in,

“Grace” Jack returned with a snarl.

The bunny-eared man sat up -unsteadily- ready to flee if needed.

“We must kill him, manor orders” he stated as if he had just received a letter of devotion. While he had blood running down his claws, Grace stared, “The coward ran to the cameras.”

Jack stepped forward towards him. Grace floated up in front and cocked her head, innocently. She had learned even in village life men will do what you ask if you act dumb, if you show your wits or give them a stare they will show their claws and use their teeth. However cute ditzy women please them, sometimes they even pity.

The quiet bird chirping outside suddenly ceased, she hadn’t even noticed the silent song until it was gone.

Fog appeared in the cabin rising up from hell itself.

“We must do what the manor says Grace”

Wujiu teleports behind him as backup.

--

With a knock of a claw, Grace was out, and after some….difficulties Night Watch of the Plateau of Leng was dead.

The legends did not die with him though. Those followed the village in fear that no hunts would happen for long after the death of The Night Watch.

They returned to the manor with a weapon, clothes, and a furious spirit. Grace didn’t wake up till they were back, Jack always had drugs in case. For he was always prepared for a chase.

----- Authors Note part 2

While editing this I got the image of just Joseph in the camera world, while this was happening in Hawaii, sitting on a beach chair drinking wine, just chiling. and maybe crying about his dead brother

Also, I apologize for how bad this probably is, it wasn't as rushed as my other works have been though so I am semi-proud of it.

#this was suppose to be a ship thing but ended in death :D #I’ll eventually make a part 2 #hopefully #if I messed up graces personality- oops #idenity v #idv ithaqua #criticism is welcomed btw #identity v ithaqua #idv naiad #idv night watch #idv grace #grace idv #ithagrace #writing #if i messed up Jack's personality oops #i hope i formatted this right #and i hope i got the characters personality correct #help i dont play jack or wu change #jack idv #Joseph idv #wu chang #Wu chang idv #Probably dogshit #idv #idv hunter

[forgetmenot-mymoon]

Luck

Luck sends the blossom blooms out into the wind even on a humid day

Luck sends the sun out to play

Luck sends the friends away

Luck sends the hurricane

Luck sends the mistress astray

Luck sends the pumpkins plum

Luck sends the ants to eat the pumpkin

Luck sends sirens high up into the sky

Luck sends the man in uniform with the letter

Luck sends all theses things

Some good some bad

If Luck can be anything

Is Luck, really luck?

Is luck a mirror shattered?

Is luck a ladder?

Or is luck just a breeze indicating disaster?

If luck can be anything, is luck, really luck?

#Luck #I wrote this on st patricks day #poems #poetry

[forgetmenot-mymoon]

Solar Eclipse Poems

———

21 years

April eighth two-thousand twenty-four:

The moon takes its sun in its arms

As the day turns to dusk

The light glides out,

Trying to break out of the moon’s protection

The black screen keeps the blooming iris safe

Hidden it away from the love

This won't happen again

Till the dead are long buried

A rare effect of love that hurts all the same.

While the wind gusts

And the cheers erupt

I wonder if I will remember this little image in this 5-cent little black plastic-ky screen -that barely holds up-

Forever

Or if it is another passing moment I'll long forget in 21 years

Just like I wonder with Them next to me

————

Long forgotten

Eclipses are like promises

The moon goes around and around like the mind

Eventually covering it

Making one whole, fuzzy

Laughing in the car with pinkies connected

Then like the moon it’s gone

The feeling is in a far away realm of memory

Where memories eventually waste away

“Next one we’ll watch together”

In 20 years

Weather thats long or short

I bet we wont.

I say promise but are they ever kept?

I imagine that I’ll be driving from Maine

To- wherever i'll be-

Maybe california

Maybe ill go hike, see the moutains

See the containers piled up on the shore, evidence of humanities mark

I'll have all these thoughts

All these philosophies

But you wont be there, will you?

By then you’ll have your own life

Living with your girlfriend in the North

Or drawing comics in New York

Maybe you’ll have kids

Or maybe

You just wont want to go with me.

No matter,

I doubt youll be with me.

The promises, not just this one

All

Will be forgotten with the falling leaves,

With the Solar eclipse,

With the excitement of life!

Promise are like eclispes

They are forgotten

They are left

Far too soon

———

88%

88% Solar eclipse looks like

Clouds

Just Clouds

I look at the sun-

But I don't,

Since there is no sun

Just clouds

As I walk away from it all,

Then it passes

It's just the sun once again,

As it gets bigger and bigger once again

The totality is gone

———

#solar eclipse #partial solar eclipse #space #poems #free verse #free verse poem #poetry #original writing #writing #relationships

[forgetmenot-mymoon]

I am loved.

I am loved

That is strange

Oh how,

How strange ,

That I am loved

That I get dings of comfort

That I get a cloud of fluff on my face

I am loved

I got a visit

Someone visited

Oh how,

How strange,

He even brought me gifts!

Cards and chocolates!

I can’t even taste the bitter ting

I am loved

Am I?

Sometimes the question floats

Sometimes it dies

With a kiss on the cheek

Your warm voice beneath the screen

Those moments, of talking, of joking

Being together, being alive

Oh how I am loved

#yes happy poetry exists shocking #more shocking I can write happy stuff #free verse poem #poem #poetry #happy poetry #love #positivity

[forgetmenot-mymoon]

An Eulogy of Lies

A mask,

A scalpel,

A smile,

A lie,

All my tools.

I cut it open

The vessels break

The room is maroon turning to umber

This is all planned.

I cut it into 9 pieces

Like the 9 circles of hell

I put one deep in the ground

where it will decompose to nothing

I put 2 in the ocean

where the salt can melt it down with the fishes food

I put 3 into the fire place where it will evaporate into the wind

Where even the wolves will overhear the cries

I put 4 in a lockbox

Where no one can take it

I put 5 into a pot and cook it

Where it can be good food for the family

I put 6 into the bank

Where it will be good money for the corporations

I put 7 into my bosses hand

Where it will stay like a collar to my neck

I put 8 onto my cheek where it will draw the attention

I put 9 onto my sleeve where people will grab me and love me

I put 10 in a place of nowhere

Where no one will find it

No one can have my heart

No one can ravage all my organs

At least something can be free

Free like the wind

Like the ocean breeze

Like the waves coming in even after a long day

Like the rising sun

Like the flicking stars

Like the bright moon

While I stay on this bed

In this house with bars

In this chair where I am watched

I am chained

I am collared

I am not a person

I’m just an object not just to the system

But to people

People look at me as an object not as a person

How will I survive if a view myself as a person?

I won’t

So I have become the object they desire

I have doned a mask

I have taken my heart

I have taken my kidney

I have taken it all

To give to them

And to give to nature

So no one can have all of me

That is my revolt

At least they can’t have all of me

I am no one

I am just a face in a crowd

Just a woman on the bus

I am a passerby

Who will soon die with a smile on their face

Everyone will say

“She lit up a room”

“She worked so hard”

“She was happy”

“I miss her”

“I’m sorry for your loss”

All lies

None of them knew me

None saw my tears

Not even the ones upstairs for they aren’t family

They are just strangers

My death will just be a performance

A coffin with nothing but a hair

A picture with a robot

An eulogy of lies

Just the way I want it.

#poems #poetry #writing #depressing #sad #death #funeral #eulogy #lies #im not even a woman

[forgetmenot-mymoon]

The First Amulet Holder

The great evil had scored lands for the souls to fuel its machine.

Finally though she came home,

Not to her physical one for that was dead and gone but to old friends.

——-

The experiments had stayed in touch while Kainat had gone on her masscres. The glitches of Ingenium had even kept an eye on her along with Doctor M.

The Ingenium tried creating their own worlds, while the analysts attempted to assimilate to others.

The Ingenium worlds Kainat could not access, even with the souls she collected. She needed a test subject, so why not her kind. Daifa had married into a noble family of Liam in world 167, a medieval one. Daifa was number 153, she was one of the first survivors. That meant her strength didn’t compare to the newer generations. Her only special skill was tracking, which wouldn’t help her against fellow analysts. Kainat could easily overpower her, if not with her eyes, with her hands. Furthermore many medieval worlds had fallen to ash in Kainat’s grip before.

Zebel had finally finished making the children’s minds to ash, so tonight was the night to strike.

It wasn’t night in 167, the sun shined. Its light led to a new beginning, no one knew it would be darkness. Everyone was at work. No one to protect the weapon turned housewife. Difa was rural, her screams and struggle were futile. However she was interrupted by a mirror image, light red eyes and nightly black hair. Her daughter, who else would be better to test the amulets than someone in grief?

The Ingenium and the last of the scientists didn’t find out until far too late.

——

This is from one of the first stories I came up with that I’m trying to fix and rewrite and shit. This is just a short little back story for it. Anything for this particle story that I call “Destroy The Amulet” will be under DTA.

#writing #DTA #fantasy #scifi #creative writing #ocs

[forgetmenot-mymoon]

The Masked Lady of the North

A year ago, maybe two, I can’t recall.

I hated lying

To the extent, even if I should’ve said sorry, I didn’t. If I didn’t mean it I refused to utter those two words. Which are so meaningless. Furthermore I even explained why. I was a truthful little flower. I hated lying especially about my feelings. Even if you never believed me. I wanted people to know me. I preferred being a flowing river. Now I have a dam.

Now sorry is something I say to stop the screaming,

I thought you didn’t affect me, you did. how does that make you feel?

Impressed? Good.

I don’t care. I don’t care about much. If I can run, I will run for my safety. I am a leech, I will run. Communicating used to matter for me, I used to do it all the time. Even with things I shouldn’t have, I shouldn’t have yelled all those times. I should’ve hid. Maybe if I had kept you happy you wouldn’t have started this, you wouldn’t have left.

However now I see people do the same, and I follow along, sometimes. I don’t do it myself anymore, why would I? If they don’t like me, I go to the shadows until they forget about me. I’ll apologize now, it will be a lie. I’ll say I’m busy, it will be a lie. I am a disgusting roach in comfy sweaters and beautiful skirts.

I didn’t realize how bad it was. Until I turned into this. I even had two versions, me, who makes jokes that can hurt sometimes, and her, who is sweet, will comfort and compliment constantly. I use to be that a while ago, I think that’s needs to stop being my mask.

Part of me screams stop from the abyss, it wants out. However mangy old dogs are never released from the pound

No matter how many lives I take

No matter how many lives I change

No matter how many lives I live

Nothing ever changes.

I thought I was healthy, to an extent I am.

Only because,

I don’t care.

If they hurt me, if they leave,

I do not care.

However now I am a liar.

With a mask to hide it all.

And every time, every time, another crack forms. I start wearing it more and more.

It will be cemented on my face soon enough.

#writing #poem kinda #oc #kinda a vent #very angsty #mask #The Legend of The North

[forgetmenot-mymoon]

Scolosis surgery

——

Have you noticed how many act like surgery is a death setence? In a couple months k willl get scolosis surgery. There’s so many websites And organizations

Saying “Oh you don’t need it,”

“Come to our camp we’ll straighten it!”

“We know the secrets!”

“Well put your kid on a diet and some exercises”

It’s all really fucking weird.

People calling the surgery invasive, which I guess it is? However I don’t see it that way

But people are so scared of it, kinda like vaccines.

My surgeon is very hopefull, it seems more benefits then side effects and is the only option, but the ineternet goes insane saying it’s the worse

I don’t see how

I am already in pain and twisted, I don’t see how it could get worse from surgeon

Will I lose mobility? Yes not much thought it’ll be annoying but it’s better

Will there be pain? Yes for s time

Always? According to some internet users yes. However I already have pain so o don’t think that would change much.

I know there are risks but I don’t care

It’s the only thing I can do unless I wanna travel and beg fake doctors to fix me.

After the surgery I’ll be taller which is cool.

I don’t know what’s going to happen, it all could go wrong but I’ll just live with it. I’ll survive.

Bye Bye Snake Spine

#writing #scoliosis #surgery #vent? ish? #scoliosis surgery #spinal fusion #spinalhealth #snake spine #im so sad i wont be able to donate my spine to the mutter museum #posting will probably slow for awhile #especially after the queues are all posted

[forgetmenot-mymoon]

The Legend of The North

Part 3

Life is like snow fall,

It falls

It melts

Life is like a bitter game of chess

The morning came, far too soon. Hailey awoke first, the others followed. The children prepared, Hailey’s family owned all the snow wear one would need, even if most were hand-me-downs. One was even Henry’s, Kyle was wearing that one. Hailey went upstairs to tell her dad, he wasn’t there anymore but her mother was. However she was never told.

They argued over to take the ATV or walk. Hailey who was pacing erratically finally convinced them ATV would be faster, and safer.

She was barely old enough to drive it, however she’d been driving it since she was ten. It was the “Princess’s” stead.

They travelled up and up, The sun shining, It looked as if god or gods blessed them. snow didn’t dare fall till they were long gone.

“I found an antler!”

The knight lifted up his prize!

The stage props were set.

——

The group went up and up, laughing like the children they once were.

They set up a spot, making a fire, enjoying the view, taking pictures. Its one of my most fondest memories.

You may be wondering, when did I strike? I wasn’t there yet.

However it did start to snow.

Hailey looked around grimly , “Some people stay snow could mean her arrival.”

The maid, being more witty then the princess knew the quote, “The snow falls every year, it’s a warning to the flock, to the deer, to beware.”

When the snow got heavier they needed shelter, Hailey knew they couldn’t get back down in this weather.

Thankfully they found my cabin.

#writing #creative writing #ocs #orginal character #original writing #oc stuff #The Legend of The North

[forgetmenot-mymoon]

The Legend of The North

Part 2

The night fell on the earth

The mountains chirped with new life

Trish finished her cup, “You know don’t you have something more scary about the lady then that?”

“My uncle did tell me a story of his cousins death, supposdly she killed him. But also he was weird plus he did a lot of *things* so I’m unsure if he’s trustworthy”

“Just tell us! Earlier was boring, it’s only just us and Kyle now, tell us”

“Yeah no one can gossip here but Trish”

“Oh shut up dude!”

They were like siblings, all of them.

“So my cousin, Henry went up to Hunter, he caught a deer but it was small. He wanted more so he decided to go higher, hopefully for bigger deer. His younger brother, John followed suit, but a bit farther behind.

John then heard a crunch a deer body infront of him missing his head, beheaded cries lied all around.

They would never fly again, never sing, never sob.

Help heard Henry scream for his time was up.

When he got there, he hid at the sight of her.

Henry’s neck was snapped, her boot on his neck, her boot had a blade on the front, she tipped it to snap off his head completely-“

“That’s not possible”

“Kyle” Trish glared, she handed him the cup, go get everyone more hot coco you nerd.”

Help stared back, “I’ll put cyanide in yours”

“Oh I dare you”

“Anyway, John watched, her hair was as white as the snow, her skin was as well. Except for her hands, they were black with dots like stars. Her mask covered all her face-“

“Like Jason-“

Trish preceded to physically push him to the kitchen. They were in ear shot so Hailey continue as she stared at the blazing heat. It was a nice warmth. Would she feel it again?

“Her face mask was all white except black for the eyes, tears dripped from it, onto the snowy ground. He thinks he heard her mutter, “Life is a sea, one drop loss is nothing” as she lifted her spear made of ice out of the snow. her hand did not melt it on the slightest. John couldn’t move, he waited till the dead of night. He ran in the darkness, the stars barely shown under the trees. Eventually days later he was found.”

“Dead?”

“Dead, he had slipped and died while trying to find the way back to his cabin. The story was found in the journal he kept with him, and Henry was never found so a majority of the family and friends believed it. I’ve never seen anything but mountains feel different. Humans don’t rule here, I feel like anything is possible here. Both good and bad”

With that, they all called it a night, full of warmth from the fire and sugar from the chocolate.

This is not the story you think it is.

#writing #original character #original writing #ocs #oc stuff #The Legend of The North

[forgetmenot-mymoon]

The Legend of The North

Part 1

The audience gathered, the stage was set.

“Once upon a time-“ the “Princess” started,

“Don’t start it off with some fairytale shit Hailey” the Knight was always so critical

“At least my name isn’t Kyle, you shut up and let me tell the tale!”

She was strong.

“Why do you have to be the one to tell it?”

He was foolish.

“I’ve grown up in the mountains, it’s only right I do it! Your family doesn’t even own a gun!”

“Just let her tell Kyle.” The red headed “Maid” finally spoke.

Trish and Kyle were the ones next to the ocean blue hair. They were to become the actors while other kids watched.

“Okay, okay, gather around!” Hailey was beautiful. She lit up the room, as they always say after people pass. She never did though.

“Legend says there’s a masked woman who lives in the mountains, few have every seen her though-“

“And there’s no evidence”

“Kyle shut up!”

Her dyed hair always sparkled in the sun like the ocean, along with her sweet chocolate eyes.

“Anyway few have ever seen her. It’s rumored even hunters fear her and that’s why barely anyone goes too high. It’s said if you find a dear without a head, you’re already too far gone in her territory.”

Snaps of branches and leaves grew from the woods.

The woods itself followed her lead.

The hunters spirit in her bones.

“They say if you go too far in you get your head cut off or worse, of course no one’s ever actually found a body though.”

“We should totally go up there, I wanna see.”

“Kyle you are so bad at ideas!” Trish said holding onto her M&M necklace, that was her personality. Even so she worried about her weight so she actually didn’t eat much of her favorite candy. Her mother was strict about that.

On the other mountain, Hailey didn’t mind appearances, living semi off the grid helped with that. She only went to public school for high school, her divorced parents thought it would be best after everything.

Her mother went off to the city to find a new life, she visited every summer while Hailey’s father was busy with woodwork. They didn’t like seeing eye to eye.

“I say we should, we can have a sleep over at my house then when it’s light we can travel more up through the trails the hunters use. Or I know how to drive the ATV!”

The night came, the cabin was cozy. Even with the raging domestic issues it was still home. The fire in the raging winter after all.

Hailey felt safe even with the crosses of god slowly disappearing from the house.

It had two stories, plus a basement, the middle had the fire so it’s where they all slept in the living room, with the dining room and door in sight.

The upstairs a was actually where the real living happened. You could think of it, as the real world. It’s where depression came lurking around corners while staring at a page, or in Trish’s life would be a phone. It’s where the yelling voices lived…and where they died.

The living room that night was a fantasy of warm and love, sadly it could not last.

The stars aligned. I wonder if it was fate.

#writing #ocs #original character #original writing #The Legend of The North

[forgetmenot-mymoon]

Poems!

Tw: abuse mention

—-

Found

I have fantasized of it

Since the first hit

The first scream

The first gag

For I have no rights

In months I will be granted them

I will break these chains soon enough

My fantasies have kept my breath warm

Like a fire in the cold dead night while trapped in chains

I have found my sibling

Not in blood

Nor in name

But in soul

I have found two friends who adore me

And I adore them

I hope I do not lose them when I escape

I doubt I will

For they are family

Family that doesn’t choke my soul away

I have been found at last.

———

Outside…

I am going outside.

Will it be more expensive?

Yes

Will it be dangerous?

Yes

However after having my wings clipped by my own angel and lifeguard

I feel as if I don’t go now

I will burn with their acid words

Their acid actions

They shouldn’t be near each other

None of this is long.

I’ve never been told I was loved by them.

It’s not that bad, however education and dreams is my escape

If I go, I get out.

——-

Leaving people to die

Sometimes when the cold comes

We fight it off

We were in your room

So much screaming

I never knew one could scream like that

It was chaos

I stayed

I stayed

All of it

I was there

Was I good?

No

I felt I killed you more

I became the screaming

You became the screaming

We screamed at each other

You got more sick

Your family got worse

I should’ve left you to die

Your heart wouldn’t be black

You wouldn’t be so sad

So mad

We would still be broken

But some, some glass

Would still be a bit dusty

Instead of shattered

I should’ve left you to die

I should’ve watched you suffer

I should not have gotten close

For I fear

Oh I fear

I stabbed you more and more

I was a parasite

You became a parasite

Then you died

You are dead to me

You’re the dead person in the coffin next door

Next door

You’re always next door.

You will haunt me for my life.

#free verse poem #poems #breakup #poetry #writing #tw depressing stuff #sad poem #sad thoughts #sad poetry

[forgetmenot-mymoon]

Omens

Emil (Patient) x Ada (Psychologist)

This is really short, it takes place before they go to the mansion.

I just wanted to try out making fanfics so this probably isn’t the best.

Tw: None

———

Emil was getting worse, he tried to hide it. He tried to hide it so well in fact that he hid himself from Ada.

Ada found him hiding a couple times, even once hiding in a corner of the attic. The house wasn’t that big, she didn’t think it was too small for him but she started second guessing herself more and more- Psychologists aren’t supposed to second guess themselves- Ada always tried to be confident, and her determination is what got her this far. If it was anyone else she wouldn’t feel so at fault but Emil was special. If it was someone else she would’ve just accepted it but Emil was hers and she was failing her lover.

He trusted her. Ada’s patients before weren’t as trusting. He was so sweet too, he once gave her a heart shaped rock he found, he also potted a flower he found for her in the forest. (It ended up dying but it’s the thought that counts.)

Not to say she let him wander alone- she was much too worried for that however Emil was very good at wandering.

He trusted her, he loved her, but she was failing him.

She needed to succeed.

She had failed so many times, so many times Emil was the only one responsive and now even that isn’t working? His nightmares got worse, he even flinched away from her once.

She needed to fix it, she needed to fix him.

She was done failing everyone, her patients, other doctors, even her parents think she’s just a sham.

She would not fail Emil.

Ada would die before she failed Emil.

Emil wasn’t very trusting of people, Ada of course was more trusting but compared to others she wasn’t very trusting either.

However she was getting scared, desperate. She needed to find a cure.

So on she went, sending letters visiting old acquaintances and friends, even doctors from the asylum. She knew she would come up empty, some of her letters didn’t even garner a response.

However she couldn’t give up- she wouldn’t give up on helping Emil.

After months of worrying, waiting, an answer arrived in the form of an invitation.

She went to her desk to open it, ecstatic.

The plant, Emil’s gift, was sitting in the corner. Its brown leaves began to turn green. Ada’s eyes filled with hope, maybe this mansion could help. It must, it must be the cure. There’s no more time to wait, they have to take this chance. She eyed the plant and smiled, knowing it must be a good omen.

She told Emil it was, “Paradise.” Ada was worried Emil wouldn’t trust her. However Emil, was well, Emil, he would follow her anywhere.

As soon as they walked out the door hand in hand, the plant died once more, this time shriveling up, it became so small, so weak. The stem broke, then the pot fell and shattered.

There was no one to hear this omen.

They were already halfway to “Paradise.”

#ada mesmer #emil mesmer #ada x emil #idv #idenity v #writing #fanfic #psychologist x patient #psychologist idv #patient idv

[forgetmenot-mymoon]

Family

Fire always spouts

It always blows

From you

You breathed it,

Into me

So so,

Gently,

It was love.

Your fire was love.

I took the fire and spread it

More and more,

Beyond the grasslands

Beyond the oceans

Into your heart, into his heart, into her heart

Into their heart

I spread it

It charred you and everyone else.

I looked down at my hands

They were coal

Then they were no more

No more.

Just cold,

Winter had set in,

The warm winter sun revealed

The fire had stopped

so had my heart.

She breathed it into me.

Who breathed it into her?

#poems #writing #free verse poem #trauma #fire