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yourantag · 1 year

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Apricity (Ithaqua×Reader)

AN: My first post on this site and of course it's for friends. Regardless, I hope whoever reads this, enjoys it! This is also my first time using Tumblr and posting so if it looks bad, I'm sorry. Word count: 1.7k words Summary: Ithaqua loves you. He loves you more than he can ever express, so he sets you free. That's what you need, right?

If he had to describe you, it'd be with only a single word. Ithaqua didn't think anything else could quite explain the deep seeded feelings that blossomed in his heart. The warmth that filled him to the brim, the natural softening of his gaze, or the way he'd snap to attention at the sound of your voice, all of it, everything, those reactions, it all culminated into one word.

"Apricity."

When you smiled, when you laughed, when you listened, and when you talked, it all soothed his soul. It was the feeling of sunlight touching frigid skin in winter, that warmth like salvation upon him.

You were the Sun and he was the Earth. The Earth that could never survive without the warmth of the Sun, that bathed in its light every day and circled it for eternity. You two shared a bond stronger than that rooted in words, which dragged you together like gravity, that set him alight in shades of blues and greens.

However.

He knew he didn't deserve to feel like this.

He knew he didn't deserve you.

Your kindness and understanding even when he yelled, when he reacted in ways that made him hate himself, made Ithaqua wish he'd never met you at all. You're just too compassionate, too willing to embrace his flaws, to love him when he isn't worthy of even just looking at you.

That feeling curled in his gut, whispered in his head, sunk its teeth into his heart, and devoured him alive with guilt. For really, what else could he do? Live without you? Death would be kinder.

Even with that guilt lingering in the back of his head like the bitter taste of gal upon one's tongue, he stayed by you. Nothing could make Ithaqua willingly separate from you for longer than a few hours. Well, other than your boundaries.

As he thought this, basking in the rays of the sun all the while, you stood by his side. You smiled at him as you ran in the snow, kicking up the fluttering white frost and laughing all the while. You twirled and hummed, dragging your hand along the porch, scooping snow into your hands and packing it together into a ball.

When you turned to him, he thought you'd launch the snowball at him. Instead, you rushed towards him and presented it to him, eyes sparkling the whole time. It resulted in him staring at you in confusion, though Ithaqua hesitantly took the snowball from your palms.

Once Ithaqua accepted the snowball, you ran back to snatch more snow, turning it into a smaller ball. Then, once more, you offered the snowball to him, which Ithaqua once again accepted with confusion. This repeated a few more times before you were seemingly satisfied, smiling as you made him hold out his hands with the snowballs.

You stuck your tongue out as you focused on the snowballs, grumbling below your breath. Ithaqua watched, smiling softly as you continued to do this. The way your brows were drawn together in concentration was adorable, leaving him content to let you do as you pleased regardless of how odd it was.

After a few minutes of rearranging, you pulled away with a grin. Clapping your hands together in glee, you look up at him. Ithaqua feels the familiar sensation of his heart squeezing, though he ignores it in order to give you his full attention.

"Look! I made us as snowmen! Er- snowpeople??? Snowpeople!" You say it with a child-like joy, taking one of the snowmen- snowpeople from his hands. Belatedly, Ithaqua realizes this one vaguely looks like him.

You cradle the imitation of him like it's the most precious thing to exist. In turn, he holds the imitation of you as if he'd protect it with his life. You laugh as he does, making him laugh in return. Your eyes crinkle at the corners, the sun giving you a halo that makes you glow. You're lit up in shades of gold, making you look like everything he'd ever desire and more.

You look good like this, Ithaqua thinks. You look good when you're happy.

Perhaps that was what made him do it, what made him kill himself. That part of him that loved you so much it could be called nothing less but obsession, slayed and buried by his own hand. He shoved it into a corner of his heart that would never be reached again, locked behind walls he started to build around himself once more.

Ithaqua stopped talking to you, he started to avoid you. He stayed in his room as much as possible, or hid in the darkest parts of the woods surrounding the manor. Even when you had matches with him, he'd show neither hide nor hair of himself before you.

It was as though he'd all but disappeared from your life, giving you whiplash. Did you do something wrong? Did you push his boundaries? Did you accidentally offend him?

Even as you had this emotional crisis, Ithaqua stubbornly refused to face you. Even as his heart broke seeing you cry, asking the other hunters if they knew why he was acting this way, he hid away. No, perhaps it was more accurate to say he ran away.

It was better this way for the both of you, he thought. You could shine your light upon those who deserved it instead of someone like him. He doesn't regret anything. It doesn't hurt.

Even to him, his words all sounded like empty lies.

Still, he'd hold true to this plan. Even as his temper grew worse, making him snap at fellow hunters or unfortunate survivors, he continued. Ithaqua refused to meet you in any way, shape or form. He knew if he did, he'd never be able to let you go again.

Oh, but he should have known. Just as he is stubborn, you are too. Perhaps more than him, even. It was natural for someone who was willing to try and help him, who was kind enough to do so.

When Ithaqua found himself in a random match on Leo's Memory with no recollection of going there, he simply thought it was a punishment from the baron. He'd been losing quite a few matches and hurting many survivors severely, after all. Any matches with you in it, he'd simply not participate in, running away whenever he got tinnitus. In any other match, however, he hunted like never before. So, perhaps this was retribution. Perhaps, it was his turn to be hunted.

And hunted he was.

Ithaqua ran, heart pounding in his chest, though not because of fear. Even as his legs felt as though they'd give out on him, he pushed through, forcing himself to go beyond his limits. If he didn't, it'd all be over.

His blood pumped almost painfully through his veins, his stilts slipping on ice as he continued to try and gain distance. It wasn't working all too well, but he'd be damned if all his efforts went to waste.

However, it was all for naught. In a single moment, he was pushed onto the ground, body colliding with snow. Ithaqua would have struggled if not for the fear of hurting you.

You loomed above him, pinning him down as you desperately gasped for air. Tears were pooling in your eyes as he could only look away in guilt.

'This is what you do to them.' The voices whispered. 'They've only just seen you again and they're hurt. You can never protect what you love no matter how hard you try. Truly, they'd be better off without yo-'

"Stop."

Your voice cut through his thoughts as you brought your hand up to cradle his face. Tears fell like shooting stars from your eyes, dripping onto his face as though they were his own. Truthfully, he felt like crying, too.

"You always look like that when you're thinking something self-deprecating." You whisper the words like you don't want them to be heard, don't want them to exist, but he hears them anyway. His heart clenches, both in deep sorrow and in shameful love. You knew him too well.

"I don't know why you've been avoiding me, but if it's because of something I've done, I'm sorry. Please tell me what I did, I won't do it again- I'll- I'll make sure I don't over step, or hurt you, or, or-" You cut yourself off, hiccuping as you roughly wipe your eyes. Your tears continue to fall no matter how many times you rub them away, never-ending.

Ithaqua sighs quietly as he lets go of the last of his self control. With his plans laid completely to waste and your quaking form before him, he can't do anything but surrender himself to you. It was a complete and utter loss.

"It's not your fault." He says gently, tenderly wiping away your tears with the pad of his thumb. You look at him with a certain kind of softness as he does so, allowing him to shift around so he can cradle you.

Even now, with tears rolling down your cheeks, eyes reddened, and sniffling in his arms, you were lovely to him.

"I don't deserve you. You're simply too pure- too good for someone like me. I'm not someone kind or patient, I'm cruel and temperamental. You deserve someone who isn't broken, someone whole. It shouldn't be your job to help me, you shouldn't have to deal with my outbursts. I knew you'd never abandon me yourself, so... I left on my own."

He buries himself in your shoulder, unwilling to look at your face. In hindsight, this plan was a horrible idea. It'd obviously hurt both you and him, and solve nothing at all. Yet, for whatever reason, it made perfect sense to Ithaqua, even now.

"Whether you are worthy of me or not is up to me." You force him to look you in the eye, hands holding his face firmly. "You do not get to make that decision for me. And in my eyes? You have always been worthy."

Ah.

He feels tears that he'd forced himself to push down, finally gather in his eyes and fall. You smile kindly at him as you wipe them away, as tenderly as he had for you.

Ithaqua bares his soul to you as the morning sun starts to rise, painting you both gold. The pain, the grief, the joy, the relief, everything that his heart had hid, laid before your eyes to see.

You truly were the sunlight that touched his frigid skin in winter.

You were apricity.

You were salvation.

Tag List

@ithaquakisser, @xiaosmary

(Man why is this platform so hard to use smh)

#idv #idenity v #identity 5 #idv ithaqua #ithaqua x reader #idv fanfic #identity v fanfic #i can't believe i made this

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eldritch-noises · 7 days

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unusual activities at lakeside village

#idenity v #idv #idv fanart #illustrations #idv hastur #vlocker watch out bro

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tatya-time · 10 months

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"So, Senator~ So, Janitor~ So long for a while, Remember! You're never fully dressed! Without~ A~ Smile~"

Matthias approached Tatya from behind, a sadistic smile growing on his face, "Good Morning! Miss Baudelaire!" the surgeon greeted, "Now, before you point a knife to my face, I'll make this very clear : I'm not going to hurt you this time, in fact, all I want is to ask you a few questions, how does that sound?"

Tatya jumps and swings around from her chair, where she was happily eating a pastry for breakfast in the dining room, crumbs still on her face. Her face shifts from one of shock to annoyance when she sees who has approached her.

"Hello, Matthias." She glares, wiping the leftover food from her face. "You have a habit of sneaking up behind me. At least there's no axe this time." Tatya rolls her eyes as she sits back down in the chair, facing him this time. The dancer is confident he won't try anything, not right now. The odds are stacked against him.

"You can ask me questions." She takes a bite out of an apple. "But I might not answer them. And I'm gonna ask you questions, too."

#first the guts #then the axe #whats next matty ole pal?#idenity v #identity v survivor #identity v oc #identity v askblog #identity v ask blog #idv oc ask blog #idv ocs #idv survivor oc #idv ask blog #idv askblog

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birthwrong · 3 months

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I've been losing my mind over this trend btw (Frederick one tomorrow)

#[gallery piece]#buckshot roulette #idv #idenity v #aesop carl #fanart #crossover

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kruligpaturlig · 10 months

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plaguemare my beloved

#idenity v #identity v nightmare #identity v orpheus #idv nightmare #idv orpheus #nightmare idv #orpheus identity v #orpheus idv #nightmare identity v #my art #doodle #i love piety so much #i doodled it when there was only the essence poster #i still really like this doodle tho

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bizarre-blorbo-bracket · 8 months

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Round 1 poll 18: Antonio the Violinist from Identity V vs Waldo Trumbull from The Comedy of Terrors

Propaganda under the cut:

Antonio the Violinist

Antonio is a less popular character from an obscure video game. He's an incredibly tall, lanky, undead man based partially on the real life Niccolò Paganini and legends surrounding him. I have purchased things for research on Paganini to fuel my obsession with Antonio. He has prehensile hair and I just want him to carry me in it. I research harder into his lore than I do for any other character in this game, and he has very little. He's possessed by the devil because the devil got him out of music based slavery. He plays the violin and spins around when he hits a survivor. His original animation for a survivor struggling out of his hold was changed from him falling on the ground and getting up without using his arms to him swiping at the air around him. He has music magic that hurts you. He has no connection to any other playable character as of my submission. He's spooky yet handsome. One of his accessories implies he died alone in the cold of winter. He has insane amounts of gender. He can play violin on a single string. He can play that single stringed violin with his HAIR. He's full of skill and diseases. His first deduction(lore snippet gained by completing tasks) shows that he's got a CVS receipt length of medical disorders, and the second one shows that he's the only character in the game confirmed to fuck for pleasure. I want him carnally. I want him to be my bestie IRL. I want to be him. I want to hold him. I want to comfort him. I want to tear his limbs off and stitch them back on. I want him to be turned into a marketable plushie.

Waldo Trumbull

He's from a rarely talked about 1963 film which is absolutely ridiculous slapstick + dark comedy combined. He's a complete arsehole who there is no good reason to like--not only is he a serial killer (murders people to bring in customers to his undertaker's business) but he's also just a petty dick. He is built like a stick insect and moves around like a live-action cartoon, ungainliest creature ever. Has the personality of a scraggly feral cat that will bite and scratch if you get too close. He asks "May I?" before touching the breast of a *wooden carving* of a woman. His name is *Waldo Trumbull*, his first name only being revealed late in the film as he seems to know it's ridiculous and goes by his last name or "Mr W. Trumbull" (you can't pretend your first name is just W, Waldo, that's not how it works). Half of me wants to grab and shake him, half of me wants to keep him as a pet, he is such a creature.

#Waldo Trumbull #antonio the violinist #idenity v #the comedy of terrors

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one-bunny-a-day · 1 year

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16/02/2023

#daily bunny #047 #fan bunny #idenity v #night watch #identity v hunter #I love themmmmm #no colour cause colours suck fuck colours

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nopekido · 7 months

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Same energy

#idenity v #idv embalmer #spongebob #aesop carl #ok get in #same energy #gifs #meme

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turtledoggydraws · 2 months

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#第五人格イラスト #デミ・バーボン誕生日2024 #デミ・バーボン誕生祭2024 #idenity v #idv fanart #idv demi #idv demi bourbon #demi bourbon #turtle draws fanart #turtle draws

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halfa-failure · 3 months

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Old art I did of Luca for an art contest 🍷✨

#luca balsa #idenity v #luca idv #he has a little vampire fit and I’m here for it #he also superglued those fangs #haha #digital art #art #cackling #fanart #Halloween art from like 2023 #god that felt like yesterday #crying into my pillow now #my art

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roboticwoofs · 1 month

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oh my gosh hi guys sorry for being so inactive..I've been drawing though!! here :bb

.....

.. x-tras

THTS ALL! LOLOLOL BAAAII

#idv fanart #idenity v #mattpheus #willkurt #matthias czernin #orpheus #kurt frank #william #i actually don't know his full name oops #bf made me draw willkurt for stuff on my idv wl #dances

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ashesfierybree · 2 months

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Breaking in my new watercolour Sketchbook

#helena adams #idv #idv minds eye #watercolour #idenity v #identity v fanart #sea goddess

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skotose-me · 9 months

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he wants fire

#identity v night watch #identity v ithaqua #idenity v #idv ithaqua #ithaqua #night watch #idv night watch

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forgetmenot-mymoon · 5 months

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Omens

Emil (Patient) x Ada (Psychologist)

This is really short, it takes place before they go to the mansion.

I just wanted to try out making fanfics so this probably isn’t the best.

Tw: None

———

Emil was getting worse, he tried to hide it. He tried to hide it so well in fact that he hid himself from Ada.

Ada found him hiding a couple times, even once hiding in a corner of the attic. The house wasn’t that big, she didn’t think it was too small for him but she started second guessing herself more and more- Psychologists aren’t supposed to second guess themselves- Ada always tried to be confident, and her determination is what got her this far. If it was anyone else she wouldn’t feel so at fault but Emil was special. If it was someone else she would’ve just accepted it but Emil was hers and she was failing her lover.

He trusted her. Ada’s patients before weren’t as trusting. He was so sweet too, he once gave her a heart shaped rock he found, he also potted a flower he found for her in the forest. (It ended up dying but it’s the thought that counts.)

Not to say she let him wander alone- she was much too worried for that however Emil was very good at wandering.

He trusted her, he loved her, but she was failing him.

She needed to succeed.

She had failed so many times, so many times Emil was the only one responsive and now even that isn’t working? His nightmares got worse, he even flinched away from her once.

She needed to fix it, she needed to fix him.

She was done failing everyone, her patients, other doctors, even her parents think she’s just a sham.

She would not fail Emil.

Ada would die before she failed Emil.

Emil wasn’t very trusting of people, Ada of course was more trusting but compared to others she wasn’t very trusting either.

However she was getting scared, desperate. She needed to find a cure.

So on she went, sending letters visiting old acquaintances and friends, even doctors from the asylum. She knew she would come up empty, some of her letters didn’t even garner a response.

However she couldn’t give up- she wouldn’t give up on helping Emil.

After months of worrying, waiting, an answer arrived in the form of an invitation.

She went to her desk to open it, ecstatic.

The plant, Emil’s gift, was sitting in the corner. Its brown leaves began to turn green. Ada’s eyes filled with hope, maybe this mansion could help. It must, it must be the cure. There’s no more time to wait, they have to take this chance. She eyed the plant and smiled, knowing it must be a good omen.

She told Emil it was, “Paradise.” Ada was worried Emil wouldn’t trust her. However Emil, was well, Emil, he would follow her anywhere.

As soon as they walked out the door hand in hand, the plant died once more, this time shriveling up, it became so small, so weak. The stem broke, then the pot fell and shattered.

There was no one to hear this omen.

They were already halfway to “Paradise.”

#ada mesmer #emil mesmer #ada x emil #idv #idenity v #writing #fanfic #psychologist x patient #psychologist idv #patient idv

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