cosmicluka - Tumblr blog

cosmicluka · 11 months

Note

i know st patrick’s day is long gone but could you do a part 2 for pinch? like after the case where reader shows spencer her bra (maybe more)

Pinch (pt 2)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader (Criminal Minds)

Summary: You finally have the chance to prove your Saint Patrick's Day protection weeks after the holiday. Spencer was only slightly more ready than the first time you brought it up (spoiler alert: that's still not a lot)

Genre: Fluff, friends to lovers

Warnings: Suggestive, AFAB reader, partial nudity, one? bad word, not proofread

Word Count: 1K

A/N: This is so late... Uni has been horrid lately. I wasn't sure how spicy you wanted, but if you want NSFW, I can do a part 3 to this!

Part 1

It was supposed to be a simple case. The bodies of two women had been found in an open lot almost an hour from headquarters and two more women had been reported missing a few days prior to the discovery of the corpses. In theory, it should not have been difficult. Talk to a few people, gather the evidence, arrest whatever twisted individual responsible, rush through some paperwork, and make it home in time to come up with a new Saint Patrick’s Day tradition with your favorite genius. Preferably one that involved a lot more time and a lot less clothes.

But your green bra didn’t carry enough luck in it. Within the hour, there had been reports of a double homicide just a few miles past the border of North Carolina that matched the M.O. your suspect perfectly, meaning the team had to split up in hopes of finding the one crucial piece of missing information that would bring this case to a close. That left you with Prentiss, Hotch, and Morgan on the jet while Reid stayed behind with J.J, Garcia, and Rossi to work the case where it had all originated.

You had tried to convince Hotch to let you stay behind, but he was adamant that you go with them, which put you in the one situation that you were trying to avoid like your life depended on it.

“So,” Prentiss slid into the seat next to you with a grin that promised no good. “You and the genius, huh?”

“Yeah, I, for one, would love to hear more about that new development that you showed earlier today.” Morgan was quick to butt in from his spot on the couch. You couldn’t trust your tongue not to trip over any words that could come out of your mouth, so you just looked to Hotch to silently plea for his help. “It’s not against any guidelines to fraternize with coworkers, but you should still be careful. Don’t let it affect your work.” That was all he said as he looked away from you to thumb through the file he held. A groan escaped you as Morgan and Prentiss turned their attention back on you, impatiently waiting to respond to their interrogation. If you were the one who found the unsub after you landed, they probably would be going to jail with a few extra bruises than necessary as reprimands for putting you in this situation.

It had been a little over two weeks since that particular suspect was apprehended and the case was closed. Since then, you and Spencer’s schedules just hadn’t cleared up. Case after case hit almost all at the same time, leaving you both exhausted even on the days that you didn’t have to take the jet anywhere. But that didn’t mean that you were waiting patiently and neither was he. It was obvious in the ways that you would let your hand linger on his arm when you walked past him or running your fingers through his hair under the guise of getting it out of his face when you were sure no one was around. It was obvious in the way that he would hover closer than necessary when he leaned over your shoulder to peak at the files you had in front of you or the way that he would sit next to you whenever he could and bump your knee with his.

The others had noticed as well. It was no secret to you or Spencer when they had started placing bets as to when you two would finally get together. He had found it humorous while you were halfway to convincing yourself to place a bet of your own. Best outcome: you get extra money and a fantastic night with a fantastic man. Worst outcome: you lose some money, but you still get Spencer in your bed. Honestly, what could go wrong?

You were ready to have Morgan deal you in that afternoon, but the case of the day had been resolved and you were free to leave and rest up before the next case inevitably slid across your desk to whisk you away to some other gory reality. By the time that you had packed all of your things up for the day, Morgan was nowhere to be found. A certain doctor was, however. He stood beside his desk as his slender hands shoved papers into the brown satchel that he always carried as his unruly hair flopped over in his face, making him look disheveled and much more casual than when he had come in the office that morning.

You started walking towards him with your own bag clutched in your hands to try and quell the anxiety that was slowly starting to build as you took in his lean frame. You knew your crush on the man was known to everyone, even him at this point, but that did nothing to stop the nervous onset of nausea that took over your stomach every time you stepped out of your comfort zone. “So, genius,” You had started when you got close enough to him. Spencer paused in his process of packing his things to stare at you with those big, brown eyes that drove you incredibly insane. “You have any plans for the day since we were set free early?”

He shook his head in response. “No, not unless you count flipping through another book of Leo Tolstoy’s again.” He paused as he shoved the last paper in his bag before closing it and putting all of his attention on you. “Did you, I mean… would you…” He stumbled over his words, suddenly not having the courage to meet your eye. His question had come out in a whisper and if you hadn’t been straining not to miss a single word, you wouldn’t have heard it.

“Want to get dinner?” You should have felt bad, at least a tiny bit. The way his face grew bright red all the way to the tip of his ears and down his neck should have persuaded you against teasing him. But you wanted to see if you could bring out the same Spencer Reid that had so boldly asked to see you naked in front of your coworkers. “Dinner sounds lovely. After that, we can go back to my place. After all, I did promise to show you my Saint Patrick’s Day protection that I just so happen to be wearing again.” You felt your own face heat up a bit with the way his eyes flitted from your face to your chest as if he could confirm the bra you were wearing through the shirt you had on as his own blush seemed to deepen.

“Yeah-” His voice broke in a high pitched squeak before he cleared his throat, hand coming up to his collar to pull the offensive fabric away from his neck as he looked away. “I mean, yes. If you’re comfortable with it, that is. I would be fine if you just wanted to get dinner, but if you really want to-”

“Hey, pretty boy?” His wide eyes snapped to you as the words died on his lips, mouth opening and closing much like a fish. You had to stifle a giggle at how the pet name affected the man in front of you. “Just stop talking. How about we skip dinner and go straight to dessert?” Your gaze landed on the bobbing of Spencer’s adam’s apple as he swallowed nervously at your teasing and you shifted your feet as you became increasingly aware of the heat settling in your stomach.

You reached out for his hand but stopped just before you could make contact. “I know, I know. Shaking hands transfers more pathogens than kissing, but-” He interrupted your own ramble with a trembling voice. “It’ll be pointless to worry about that after tonight.” You nearly choked with the way your heart leapt up to your throat as Spencer met you halfway and grabbed your outstretched hand. His skin was warm and a bit clammy from the nerves, but electricity still shot up from where you were touching through your entire body. As he started walking to the exit, pulling you along with him, you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d be able to survive the rest of the night if this was the effect his simple touch had on you.

Despite your teasing, you still ended up at a local diner for quick meal. It had felt like you were a teenager again. You shared nervous glances from over your plates and stole subtle touches as if it was against the rules with giggles each time you made contact. The nerves had visibly melted away from Spencer’s frame as he relaxed in your company again. But not even you could bat away the anxiety coming in waves when Spencer stood in the middle of your living room with his eyes combing every inch of the room except for the space you occupied. You couldn’t believe that you actually had him in your home. After months of pining after the genius and the last few weeks of torture and anticipation, he was so close to your reach.

“Your walls are blue. Did you know that people with blue rooms are known to be more productive?”

“I did not know that.”

“Yeah, color theory actually stems back from the ancient Greeks, Egyptians, and Chinese. All of the colors have an affect that can be used for healing or-”

“What did they say about this color?” You took a deep breath to reassure yourself as you pulled your shirt over your head, leaving yourself bare in front of Spencer who finally turned around to face you right as the clothing hit the ground. You heard his breath hitch in his throat as he struggled and failed to keep his eyes off of your breasts that sat supported in your emerald green bra. You felt lightheaded under his gaze as he wet his lips with his tongue and took a step closer to you. “Well?” You found the courage to quip as you hid your shaking hands behind your back. “I- I don’t…Uh, I don’t know,” Spencer had started with his voice strained, eyes flitting from yours back down to your exposed chest.

“I honestly don’t give a damn about them right now.” His whispered words were enough to have you abandoning any shame or embarrassment and you grabbed his face between his hands and pulled him closer. You gave him a moment to pull away if he wanted, but he just leaned closer to finally connect you with a passionate kiss. The way one of his hands found its way to your waist while the other tangled itself in your hair surprised you and as he began to guide you back to the open door of your bedroom without ever separating from you, you wondered what other surprises Spencer would show you tonight.

#spencer reid x reader #reid x reader #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #spencer reid #derek morgan #penelope garcia #jennifer jareau #david rossi #aaron hotchner #x reader #afab reader #part 2 #st patricks day #tv show #drabble

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cosmicluka · 1 year

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Pinch

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader (Criminal Minds)

Summary: It’s Saint Patrick’s Day and you’re not wearing any green. At least none that’s visible. Spencer tries to make you regret that, but he wasn’t prepared for your defense.

Genre: Fluff, friends to lovers

Warnings: Slightly suggestive, not proofread at all

Word Count: 781

Part 2

The day was had just begun when (Y/N) shuffled into the office, gripping her too-expensive coffee in one hand and her bag in the other. A yawn escaped her as she made her way to her desk without paying attention to the two men hovering by the coffee pot in the kitchen that watched her as she went past. Ignoring the look that J.J. sent her way as she plopped in her seat ungracefully, the woman rolled her shoulders before she got to work on the paperwork that sat waiting for her.

“Happy Saint Patrick’s Day, lil’ momma.” Derek practically sang as he made his way to her desk with Spencer following close behind. Both men were donned in shades of green that made (Y/N) struggle to keep a straight face. “Yeah, yeah. Happy day to the saint who wasn’t a saint. In fact, did you know that Christianity used today as the cheat code during Lent to party. It only changed when- wait, Spencer, what are you doing?” Her words fell short as she saw the taller man’s arm reach up, slowly creeping closer to her arm.

“You’re not wearing any green. You get pinched. It’s only the biggest trademark of this tradition!” He wiggled his fingers towards her menacingly as she backed away. “First of all, getting absolutely plastered is the biggest trademark. Second of all, I am wearing green! So you can’t pinch me.” She crossed her arms across her chest as if to protect herself from the oncoming assault of his annoyingly perfect hands and pretended not to notice the way his eyes raked over her from head to toe. It was too early to lose her composure due to his antics this morning.

“I’m not seeing any.” He countered as his hands itched closer. “I’m wearing my green bra, if you must know.” She locked eyes with him, hoping to the adorable blush that usually took over his features at the innuendos she made not so sparingly. “You know me well enough to know by now that I am a man of science. Just like the existence of god or local cryptids, unless there is tangible evidence, I don’t believe it. So, until the facts are proven, I’ll pinch you as much as I’d like.” It was (Y/N)’s turn to sputter out an unintelligible response as her face heated up at the smirk that rested on his lips.

“Wait, hold up… Did Pretty Boy just ask to see her underwear? As in nearly naked? Anyone else catch that?” It wasn’t until Derek’s shocked outburst that (Y/N) realized that their little fight had drawn an audience. Penelope and J.J had slack jaws as they stared and Emily just smirked at her when they made eye contact. David let out a boyish whistle from his spot in the doorway of Aaron’s office as he watched on. “I didn’t think the kid had it in him.” He commented.

Heat began to creep up Spencer’s neck as the realization settled in that everyone had heard what he said just moments earlier. (Y/N) cleared her throat and did her best to ignore the way her face burned with embarrassment. “I wouldn’t be opposed to giving you proof once we clock out for the day.” She said with as much confidence as she could muster, which with all the eyes on her at the moment, wasn’t much. Penelope and Derek let out similar noises of what could’ve been shock or excitement, no one was able to tell.

“I wish I could say that I don’t want to break up… whatever this is, but we have a case.” Aaron called from beside David and let a hint of a smile ghost over his expression as he winked at the red-faced duo. “Though it is time the pining for each other stopped.” One by one, everyone walked to the meeting room, leaving (Y/N) and Spencer awkwardly avoiding each others eyes.

“I was being serious, a few minutes ago.” She said just above a whisper. “I-I’m sorry?” The red returned to Spencer’s face full force at her words. “Maybe not like that.” A laugh erupted from her lips as she moved past him to make her way to the other room. “But let’s do something tonight. Our own Saint Paddy’s Day tradition.” Spencer caught up to her with ease and let the back of his hand brush over hers before pulling away. “Our own tradition? I’d like that.” The two tried their best to ignore the constant glances from their coworkers during the debriefing as their thoughts drifted to what their time after work would bring.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer x reader #reid x reader #spencer reid #criminal minds #derek morgan #aaron hotchner #penelope garcia #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #(y/n)#reader insert #criminal minds x reader

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cosmicluka · 1 year

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beelzebub who has obscure knowledge because he cares so much about his brothers' interests, they become his, too – or, a slight beelzebub character study at 3am because i need it and so do you.

beelzebub who can name every constellation in the night sky of all three realms, who knows both astrology and astronomy, who has read all of belphie's essays and research papers, who was there when they were written.

beelzebub who knows how to play (and cheat, and win) about every casino game, who knows how to do fast math even if he doesn't really care for it, who checks the fucking stock market every morning to see if mammon's mood will be affected by it or not.

beelzebub who knows the difference between the scent of white and red roses, who knows how to properly do your (and his) makeup, who has memorised which products are good for his complexion and how many times a day he needs to apply sunscreen, because asmo swears that the fridge light hits him as much as the sun would have in the human world.

beelzebub who can quote jane austen and poe and shakespeare and euripides from memory, who makes references from books that were destroyed with the library of alexandria, who knows about every breed of cat there is, who listens to satan explain whose fur is the thickest and whose the softest.

beelzebub who will rewatch tsl for hours, who will carry boxes upon boxes of games upstairs, who will (poorly) draw ruri from memory, who will know how to play most games levi hyperfixates on and the plot from most anime he has rambled about.

beelzebub who knows even the most bizzare of genres of music, who can taste the difference between a thousand year and a thousand and one year aged demonus, who immediately recognises the jazz song lucifer is playing when he wants to spend quality time with him but doesn't want to disturb him.

beelzebub who, if you ask him about his interests, will reply that he doesn't really have any, who will search within him for an ounce of self, who will give up after a while because he is six beings in one, and he doesn't know if there's room for one more.

beelzebub who decides that it's okay to be a mosaic of his favourite beings, who finds out that he has been carrying seven in him all along, who gazes in your – a human's – eyes and understands why she fought and why she fell and why she tried so much.

beelzebub who, in his spare time, will go in the human world to visit museums and archaeological sites and long abandoned villages, who will reminisce about when everything he just saw was once new and shining, who will retrace the steps he took aeons ago, alone this time.

beelzebub who often feels lost, who grieves and eats and grieves some more, who carries the memory of his sister because he once read that one truly stops existing when they are forgotten, yet smiles when he sees red roses and shiny coins and old books and video games and cursed records and the starry sky, who sighs into your neck right before he falls asleep and promises to never forget the way your skin feels under his.

beelzebub who, without you asking him, tells you he likes flowers and animals, who likes everything the sun touches, whose eyes glimmer when you ask him to tell you about yarrows and their meaning and their colours, who will explain in a heartbeat, just for you.

beelzebub whose self is a wounded one, a fighting one, whose self is a memory box he just keeps adding into, a scrapbook of eternity's erosion, who finds happiness in the little things, in the simple things, who binds his family together.

beelzebub who loved and loves and will love until there's nothing of him left, until he is the last one remembering, until the night sky is no longer a painting, but just an accumulation dead stars.

#this might be the most beautiful fic ever?#I’m so in love #I’m not crying you are #I’m obsessed #beel my beloved

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cosmicluka · 2 years

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hiii !! hc request for inumaki when his s/o picks up on using onigiri ingredients after a while ? have a good day ^_^

a/n~ahh this is so cute thank you for the request ( ๑>ᴗ<๑ )

words~558

tw~more tooth-rotting fluff w/inumaki

when you first met toge, you went through that rough stage that everyone does where you have a hard time understanding him with his limited vocabulary.

however, as the two of you became friends you realized how much can be communicated through actions and tone of voice.

you even made a little flashcard set of his riceball ingredients so you could memorize them.

he loved how considerate you were of him and how you tried to include him in your conversations even if he couldn't add much.

now that you were dating, it was like you two could read each other's minds

you didn't have to go into detail explaining what you meant when you were talking to toge, he now understood you as well as you understood him.

toge didn't think much of it when maki said "c'mon y/n, you should start running with me! it'll help build up your stamina!"

that is, until you sharply responded with "bonito flakes."

and he's a goner, heart melted.

you didn't seem to have a reaction to your involuntary translation. but everyone else did...

maki is frozen in place, panda is looking back and forth between you and toge, and megumi and nobara are giving yuji the side-eye while he goes "aww"

and then there's toge, who immediately jumps on you and starts pecking your face with giggle-filled kisses.

"toge!?! what the heck?" you say laughing along with him when maki asks "what did you just say?"

"sorry maki, I love you, but going on a run around campus first thing in the morning every day doesn't sound appealing to me," you answer, and everyone around you seems more confused.

"I don't think y/n noticed." says panda, now laughing as well.

"you said 'bonito flakes' instead of 'no'. like just now." maki says in disbelief.

you look at her(toge still hugging you tight) confused and say "wait really? I didn't even notice."

meanwhile, nobara and megumi are still scolding yuji for audibly awing at your response.

later, when you and toge are alone, you tell him how embarrassing it was now that you look back on it.

he shakes his head and gives you a kiss on the cheek, his way of saying "I thought it was cute."

from then on, you start doing it more often when it's just the two of you which leads to it becoming a habit.

now instead of saying yes or no to someone you say "salmon" or "bonito flakes"

which is cute to toge, yuji, and gojo, mildly annoying the other students, and very confusing to people who don't know toge.

gojo already teases you and toge, so this is just more fuel to the fire.

whenever you see a meme or tiktok you want to show toge you run up to him tugging on his sleeve saying "tuna, tuna!"

whenever he falls asleep cuddling with you and he wakes up with you beside him, you look at him with a soft smile and whisper "kelp"

or sometimes if you feel like you haven't had enough attention today, you will hug him from behind and say "salmon cod roe" while kissing the back of his head.

again, teeth rotting sweetness.

toge gushes over how cute you are to yuta over text. pls help, this man hears too much about you

I'm not sure how I feel about this, but I hope you liked it! ( ´･_･`)

request open!

masterlist

#help #this might be the cutest thing I’ve ever read?#i’m literally in love #toge inumaki #toge x reader #jjk x reader #fanfic

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cosmicluka · 2 years

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1 Step Forward, 3 Steps Back

Pairing: Childe (Tartaglia) x Reader

Summary: Life with Childe as your partner was absolutely incredible… until it wasn’t.

Genre: Angst

Warnings: None

Song: 1 Step Forward, 2 Steps Back- Olivia Rodrigo

Word Count: 988

“You wouldn’t mind if I asked you on a date, would you?”

You could remember the moment Childe asked you out for the first time. His hands were poised on his hips with his lips quirked up in a half-smile, coming off as suave as the rumors said he was. He tried so hard to come off as cool and confident, but the way his ears burned red let you see through his act. The grin that spread across his face when you agreed lit up his face brighter than the sun could ever hope to. If you hadn’t already fallen for the man, you certainly just hit the ground right then. He promised that you would never regret the decision to take a chance on him. You told him with a grin that you’d hold him to that promise.

“Happy three week, two day, and… fourteenth hour anniversary!”

Childe insisted on celebrating your anniversary at least once a week, his excuse to spoil you with no other reason than that he wanted to. He brought you chocolates, flowers, whatever he thought you’d like. There was one time that he’d come home with a particularly shiny rock, ‘just because it’s pretty, like you!’ he had said with a smile so large, you couldn’t be anything but grateful. You never had to lift even a finger for anything before he was rushing to do it for you. His long trips had dwindled drastically since you had gotten together, allowing him to spend all of his time with you.

“I’ll only be gone two weeks max. I promise. I’ll make sure to bring you back so much that you’ll forget how much you missed me.”

You’d been dating for three months when he took his first voyage away from you since he first asked you out. It was inevitable, so you weren’t upset. It was an expected situation that you were honestly surprised it took as long as it did to occur. When he bid you farewell with a cheeky smile and sweet nothings whispered in your ear, you slapped his chest while your face heated up before pulling him into a quick kiss. You had to laugh when he chased your lips with a whine as you pulled away. “You’ll kiss me again and then you’ll do it again. Then you’re late and in trouble. I don’t want to be blamed for that.” He pouted and complained while the other harbingers on the journey pulled him away until he was out of sight.

“I love you, but you have to stay out of my way.”

You weren’t sure how to feel when Childe coldly brushed past you in the hall of his house that you had moved into almost two months ago, his words coming out more exasperated than you’ve ever heard him sound. Your heart wanted to leap for joy because it was the first time he had told you he loved you. His demeanor screamed something entirely different. You weren’t sure what upset him, but you weren’t in any hurry to figure it out, not if he looked at you that way again. It was not news to you who Childe was when he wasn’t with you. You knew what he did. But you had never expected to be on the receiving end of that chilly stare. But he loved you. You’d take it as a win and stay out of his way.

Things became a bit different between you and Childe after that day in his hallway. He was back to his normal self the next day and didn’t bring up what had happened. So you didn’t either. You managed to convince yourself that the stress had gotten to him and he lashed out at the first person he could. There was no way he could’ve meant what he said. Not when he held you against him in a tight hug as he listened to you talk about what your day held and placing such gentle kisses on your shoulder. You were convinced that it was only the once, but it happened again and again only to be forgotten about the next day.

The trend kept up for a few more months, leaving you absolutely reeling. Each time you heard the familiar sounds of his steps approaching, your whole body tensed up in anticipation. Who would you be greeted with today? Chide, your loving boyfriend who cherished you and shamelessly loved you, or Tartaglia, the ruthless Harbinger that couldn’t be bothered by anyone who he didn’t deem worthy. And when he was in one of those moods, you had learned quick that you weren’t ‘worthy’.

It had been a little over a year that you’ve been together and in some sick, twisted way, you find yourself playing a little game to guess which lover you’d see. The slight twinge of amusement when you guess correctly is enough to numb the pain just enough to stand in the same room as Tartaglia when he comes home. Even on the days that Childe comes home and wraps his arms tight around you, the comfort that you had used to feel in his embrace was nowhere to be found.

You wanted to love him. You wanted to leave him. But each time you feel like you’ve made up your mind to leave, a life without him pops in your head and you hate it. At least, being with him, you can predict the ups and the downs. You might not be happy, but your relationship was all you knew. It was comforting in the way that even the unexpected couldn’t surprise you. And so you stayed. Each day your heart broke a little more, but after all,

I’d leave you but the rollercoaster’s all I’ve ever had.

#childe #tartaglia #ajax #genshin impact #Genshin #one shot #song fic #song #drabble #x reader #olivia rodrigo #angst #toxic #harbingers #harbinger #fatui #gaming

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cosmicluka · 2 years

Text

Xiao

I Think I Like You

Childe

1 Step Forward, 2 Steps Back

Kazuha

(Coming Soon)

Venti

(Coming Soon)

Diluc

(Coming Soon)

Main

#Genshin impact #Genshin #gaming #masterlist #master list #Genshin impact Masterlist #Drabble #one shot #series #x reader #reader insert

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cosmicluka · 2 years

Text

He has me in an absolute choke hold and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem istg

#one chance #pls #j-hope

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cosmicluka · 2 years

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🐿: You guys are fucking crazy

He. Said. That.

With his whole ass chest

Ugh have my children please

#I’m literal trash #for him #j-hope

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cosmicluka · 2 years

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Did I just spend the last hour falling in love again??

Abso-fucking-lutely I did

#excuse the incoming spam #but #AHHH #j-hope

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cosmicluka · 2 years

Text

I Think I Like You

Pairing: Xiao x Reader

Summary: After centuries of being alone, you come in his life and take a grip of Xiao’s heart, despite his protests. His love for you is something he has to come to terms with.

Genre: Fluff, slight angst (happy ending)

Song: I Think I Like You- The Band Camino

Word Count: 2k

All Xiao knew was the blade, the same one he used to protect Liyue from countless evils that humans should never have to face; the same one that brought lives to an end and served to worsen his karmic debt. He had no other aspirations, no hopes or dreams. Those had long since been washed away by the blood of those he had slain. They likely had hopes and dreams of their own. They couldn’t have them, so neither should he. But he didn’t care. He couldn’t.

The yaksha had convinced himself that emotions were something he couldn’t be bothered with. After all, he was simply a weapon. There was no room for a weapon to feel. So he didn’t. The stinging of his heart when he saw couples and groups laughing without a care surely was just disdain for the monotony of their life. Surely, the heaviness that settled over him when he watched people find joy within one another was just his mind’s way of telling him to get back to work. Surely that was all.

It had been far too long that Xiao had been alone. His brothers and sisters had long since passed, the days bled into months that bled into decades. Before he realized it, hundreds of years had passed by and there he was. Alone. For the longest time, he thought that he was okay with that situation. Secluded, yes. But no one would get hurt because of him. More importantly, he wouldn’t get hurt because of anyone. He hadn’t planned for one tiny, bright detail.

You.

Sat on the top balcony of Wangshu Inn, bathed in the dying light of the sun, you were completely focused on bandaging up your forearm, nothing else seemed to exist around you. Your tongue poked from your lips in concentration as you tightened the wrap, the shadows falling over your face doing nothing to hide the slight scrapes that covered your skin. Any other day, Xiao would have left you to tend to your own troubles, disappearing in an instant before you were even aware of his presence. Even he didn’t know what made today different. It must have just been a want to protect you as was in his contract. You were a person of Liyue; it was his job to keep you safe. That’s all it was. Right?

So he stayed. Silent, but watching your every move. Just to make sure you were okay. Nothing more. He watched as you patted the wrap to ensure that it would stay in its position before stretching your arms upward with your eyes clenched tight. A slight groan passed through your parted lips, leaving Xiao to question whether or not he still had time to leave without being detected. He most certainly wasn’t ready for your eyes to pop open and immediately land on his, a fantastic smile taking over your features. Though it was a strange notion, Xiao had the fleeting thought that the smile might possibly shine greater than the sun.

“Sorry to keep you waiting! If I didn’t get that done, I might have forgotten to do it all together.” You said with a slight giggle. With his arms crossed over his chest, the yaksha moved his gaze from you to the horizon where the sun had almost fully set. “Forget to address a wound? Tch. You mortals have no sense of preservation.” He saw your mouth open in shock out of his peripheral vision and for a brief moment, he glanced back at you. “I’ll have you know it’s not all mortals!” You argued. “I just am not one of them.”

“Clearly.” He eyed your bandaged wounds with distaste. “Okay, wait. In my defense, this particular one is from a fight that I couldn’t avoid. I was just trying to get some herbs and a hilichurl thought it would be a great idea to get its little buddies and have a ‘beat-the-adventurer’ party. It’s not like I jumped off a cliff this time.”

“But still… Wait, this time?” Xiao could feel his normal facade dropping rapidly as he stared at you in disbelief. You just giggled in response, not offering any more explanation than that. He didn’t recall the last time he had been this lost for words. He thought about lecturing you about the dangers, but the carefree glint in your eyes told him that all of his words would be a waste of breath. He thought about making you tell him more, but before he could say anything, the joyful voice of Verr Goblet came from behind him.

“I hate to interrupt this rare moment of chattiness,” She gave Xiao a knowing smile before turning to you. “But your meal is ready! Once you’ve cleaned up, hurry down so you can eat.”

“I can make almond tofu if you’d-” The lady turned to the yaksha in question just as he disappeared. It was bad enough you had brought out a side of him he thought he had lost years ago just in the matter of a few minutes. But the fact that someone else had seen it too was unacceptable. Hopefully, he would never have to see you again and experience the new, unfamiliar emotion that still lingered deep within his chest.

The next time Xiao saw you was on the top of a mountain where you were basking in the sun that burned bright overhead. The grass around you swayed in the light breeze, your hands were loose by your side. He watched as your chest rose and fell with every breath, finding a strange sense of comfort in the way you appear so peacefully alive. “It’s been a while.” Your soft voice startled him more than he was willing to admit. With your eyes still closed, you patted the ground next to you.

“Come on. Lay with me. Nature feels exceptionally good today.” The man scoffed at your words, not making any move to get closer. “I can’t be reduced to simply lounging around.” You let out a deep breath at his rejection and cracked one eye open to shoot him a pointed look. “I’m not ‘lounging’. I’m rejuvenating. It might do you some good. Maybe get you to smile once or twice.”

“Ridiculous,” He muttered, but yet still moved closer to you. He didn’t sit, instead he stood above you, letting his gaze fall on the scenery around him. Birds seemed to dance on the wind, singing songs of joy and flight as everything else seemed to stand still. “How did you know it was me?” Xiao asked, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t often have someone stare at me so intensely, yet so silently. It’s quite a unique feeling.”

“I don’t stare.” You snorted at his response. “Sure, you don’t. And I don’t take risks.” He had barely enough time to ponder what you meant by that when he felt your hand grip his and tug him to the ground. Xiao knew he could have stood his ground, but he was surprised when he found himself complying with your demand. “What do you think you’re doing? Have you no respect for the Adepti?” He hated the way his voice came out weaker than he intended. There was no bite in his words, just a reluctant surrender.

“Taking a risk.” He felt the last of his resolve crumble with the light sound of your giggle. “Besides, this is me showing respect for the Adepti.”

“You’re so strange.” Xiao felt his eyes closing on their own accord, letting himself relish in the feelings around him. Your warm hand still grasping his, the slight sounds of your breathing. You seemed to cover him entirely. He wasn’t too sure how to feel about that at the moment. But just for that moment, Xiao decided he’d indulge himself just a little. He could have a few moments of respite without falling too deep into the whirlwind of negativity. As long as you were there to force him.

Since that day on the mountain, Xiao had made a point to avoid your presence any and everywhere. If he saw you at the inn, he’d be halfway across Liyue before he could take another breath. If he ran into you while you were adventuring, he’d be gone before your next step hit the ground. Your bright essence must’ve been messing with his karmic debt. That’s the only explanation he could come to for the way his heart beat unusually fast with the way you had held his hand for hours. It explained the way everything seemed more dull and diluted when you weren’t near him. It was reason enough for him as to why his entire soul seemed to ache when he had to part from you.

The logic to his reasoning… well, he had none. But his mind couldn’t churn out any other cause for the way you affected him. You seemed to linger in his mind even after not seeing you for weeks. At first, he was grateful for the distraction from the darkest thoughts in his head, but it was starting to worry him. Every moment he stopped, he could see your mischievous glances, hear your all too loud laughs, feel your comforting warmth. He hated every part of how weak you made him feel when you weren’t even around.

The sun was just starting to set over the clear sky when Xiao made his way back to the Wangshu Inn, reminding him of the time he first met you. The chair you had sat in that day had been moved elsewhere, but he could still see the furrow of your brow as you concentrated on the wrapping in your hands. He let out a frustrated groan at his own thoughts. How had he ended up like this?

“So you’re saying you haven’t seen him in almost three weeks?” A familiar voice came from inside the inn and Xiao felt a slight rush of relief at the sound. Aether was just a few feet away. If the yaksha could ask anyone for help in this matter, it would be the traveler. With all of the adventures and companions he had found along his journey, it seemed the most likely to Xiao that he would be the perfect one to ask. The man just hoped he wouldn’t be laughed at as he threw away the last bit of pride he had left. But before he could take another step closer, your voice floated through his ears and shook him to the bone. Had he missed the sound of your voice this much the whole time?

“Yeah. I’m worried about him. I mean, I’ve heard all of the stories about him, but still. I feel like it’s my fault he hasn’t been around. But you must know something, right? Aren’t you and Xiao good friends?”

“Yep! But he’s always somewhere else. He won’t even come when Paimon calls him.” The pout was evident in Paimon’s voice and almost overshadowed the soft sound Aether made. “I can call him for you. That should ease your worries, right?”

“There’s no need.” Xiao walked around the corner and saw the three of you sitting at a table with food covering the surface. He tried to ignore the way your face lit up as you stood to greet him. Willing his eyes to fall anywhere but your overjoyed face, he didn’t miss the smug look on Aether’s face. “Oh! Paimon sees what’s going on here.” Like always, Paimon seemed to say what was on Aether’s mind. “Inconceivable. There’s nothing out of the usual.” Xiao spat, the glare he donned not having the usual threat behind it.

“I have to disagree.” The smile faded from your face and Xiao felt his heart being pulled in a way he’d never felt before. The frown that took over was one he didn’t want to see again. “Even Verr Goblet noticed something was up. I’d say that’s pretty unusual, wouldn’t you?” His eyes finally locked with yours and he saw the determination to pull whatever information you wanted out of him. The part that scared him most was that he would be willing to tell you everything.

“It’s just because Xiao has a huge crush on y-” “I completely forgot that we’re supposed to go meet Xinyan in Liyue Harbor, so we’ll head out now. Great seeing you both again!” Aether stood from his seat as he interrupted Paimon, walking towards the exit with a grin and a wave. Xiao watched as they left, feeling a chill settling in his core.

“Is that really why?”

“Why what?”

“Why you won’t speak to me?”

“I’m speaking to you now, aren’t I?”

You let out a sigh as you settled back in your seat, staring at the wood in front of you. Xiao didn’t need prompting this time to take the seat where Aether had been and crossed his arms as heat warmed his cheeks. “I don’t know what a ‘crush’ is, but it doesn’t sound pleasant, so I’m sure it’s not that.” He said, eyes fixed on the wall behind you. “Huh? A crush? It’s not bad at all!” He was relieved to hear the humor back in your voice. Anything less than your usual, happy self was enough to cause worry to sink its claws into his heart.

“It’s simple. A crush is someone you have feelings for.” He could feel your eyes studying his face as if you were trying to search his soul for the answers. When he didn’t respond, you picked up again. “It’s like having someone you want to have around and share you life with. Someone you want to be your closest friend, but then again, it’s way more than friends.” He heard the hesitancy in your voice and was about to add his own comment when you spoke again, your voice small. “Someone you’d hold close during the night and, you know, maybe… kiss?”

His eyes snapped to you in shock. Your face was incredibly red and your eyes were glued to your lap. Xiao thought you were going to continue, but you just pressed your lips together to stay quiet. “Is that how you feel?” His voice was equally as quiet as yours, dread filling his chest. What was he supposed to do if you said no? How should he react? Human affairs had never been his strong suit.

“I take risks.” Your words were a breath, nearly incomprehensible. He could see your muscles tensing up as if you were readying for a fight that you weren’t sure you could win. But nothing could prepare him for the solid resolve in your eyes that nearly took his breath away. “I do feel like that. I do have a crush on you, Xiao.” He stared at you, trying to find any hint of joking in your expression, sure the color of his face matched yours, rivaling the ripest tomato.

“It’s my fate to suffer the consequences of my past and for weeks, I thought this was a new form of payment for my sins. What I’ve been feeling… I wouldn’t call negative. I think that there was truth spoke earlier. Perhaps these emotions aren’t part of my karmic debt as I thought. Perhaps it might actually be this so-called ‘crush’.”

He fell silent as he watched your reaction, finding it oddly amusing how your mouth fell agape and tried to formulate words that wouldn’t come out. Eventually, you stopped trying and fell into a silence that was somehow comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time. Xiao knew he liked seeing you happy and full of joy, but he dared say this shy and flustered state of yours was a close second to his favorite version of you. After what felt like an eternity of sitting together without words, you managed to speak again. “We’re both not used to this relationship thing, are we?” You let out a nervous laugh and Xiao made a small noise of agreement. “If you don’t have anything else to do tonight, do you, maybe, want to go watch the stars? Y’know, as a bit of a celebration.”

“I suppose so. After all, I do owe you a debt as my absence was the cause of your ill mood.”

“Forget about all that! I was just worried about you, that’s all.” You huffed and looked away, but he could see the smile that was threatening to slip on your lips. “Come. Let’s go.” He chuckled softly as he stood and moved to the door, leaving you to follow behind. “I’ll make these weeks up to you, I swear it.” He muttered before you got too close. He wouldn’t admit it to you yet, he wouldn’t fully admit it to himself yet. But there was one thought that kept repeating in his head:

I think I like you, maybe more than I should.

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