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kckenobi · 1 year

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Hi again! It’s the anon who asked about teaching a little while back — and thank you for such a lovely response! I’ve been making my way through some of those books lol, or at least trying to. If it’s not too much trouble, just… some other stuff that’s been on my mind? No worries if you’re too busy, though! I… feel like it may be a lot. 1. What’s it like studying teaching? What did your days look like — what sort of things did you study, what were the pracs/modules like, etc. Is psychology (1/?)

Part 2: ...a huge part of it? Did you have to study life sciences in school to understand it? 2. Why did you choose to become a teacher, if you’re comfy answering that? Do you think someone needs to be a particular sort of person, like an extrovert, to be a teacher? And who would you recommend it, for someone who wants to — sounds cliche, I know — make a difference in the world, even if small? 3. What’s it like being a teacher, objectively? As in… ugh, I’m so sorry, this is so long already, but some Background — I live somewhere in Africa, but I’m able to study, and hopefully live, overseas. And teaching here is… government funded, crumbling schools, a very low pass rate and teachers who often just walk out of their classrooms. I know someone w/ a teaching degree, and connections, who is in an entirely different profession now because they couldn’t find a teaching job that would pay them enough to match the cost of living here. But I’ve also heard that in other countries, teachers can get benefits and visas, and are apparently paid okay (I volunteered at a primary gov. school once, and the teacher asked us for stationery for the kids, because she nor the students could afford any—)? You don’t have to answer this, ofc, I’m just… v confused, and Google is. Not helpful w/ this. &4 — Every teacher I’ve known has complained about the marking; is it unmanageable or just a downside that comes w/ the job? Feel free to answer some/0 of these; no pressure. (And tysm for the other ask!)

Hi anon!! Absolutely happy to answer some questions! I'll try to answer each individually, so I'm gonna break up my answers if that's okay:

What’s it like studying teaching? What did your days look like — what sort of things did you study, what were the pracs/modules like, etc.

I loved studying teaching—there are so many different types of classes to take which I really enjoyed, because there are a lot of things to learn lol. An example of a typical semester for me would've been 1 field course where you're observing/assisting in a classroom, a class about methods for teaching math, one about special education, one about child development, and maybe a gen ed course which could be anything. The "field courses" are the ones where youre working on-site in a classroom and learning from a teacher there, and I pretty much had one every semester. They're super valuable because you get to see so many different types of classrooms and connect it to your coursework, so that was probably my favorite part! Class and assignments often involved a lot of writing, because there's a lot of documentation that goes along with teaching. Some of my assignments were to write research papers, lesson and unit plans, various special ed documents, or give presentations (a lot of public speaking involved too!)

For the modules, I think you might be talking about the teacher certification exams? If so: I wouldn't worry about them too much. I took them my 3rd year in college, my only form of studying was to take the online practice test and reviewing my old notes, and I passed fairly easily. That being said, I do know plenty of people who failed, multiple times.....but you'll be able to tell from taking the practice test whether you're in good shape or not, and I think most people usually are!

Is psychology a huge part of it? Did you have to study life sciences in school to understand it?

So I teach at the upper elementary level with young-ish kids, and I teach them every subject (math, reading, writing, science, social studies). It's definitely helpful to have a background knowledge in everything you're teaching, but also there are certainly things it's totally fine to pick up as you go. Especially with science and social studies—one thing that comes to mind is that my curriculum requires the kids to memorize all 50 US States and Capitals. I did not know all 50 capitals my first year of teaching lmao. But now I do! With science and social studies, as long as you know more than the kids do you're usually good lol.

The things that are absolutely necessary to know and be good at are reading, writing, and math—because those are very process-based rather than just straight facts. With math, it's not like you need to know calculus or statistics or anything (unless you're teaching high school), but having a really solid grasp on elementary to middle school math is important because not only are you showing how it's done, you have to be able to watch a kid do it and find the flaws in their reasoning to help them correct them. That doesn't mean you won't be a good teacher of those things are hard—but it does help to have really solid skills in those areas before you start!

I think psychology plays a role in the sense that it's helpful to know how other people think and what's going on with a child developmentally when you're trying to teach them. But I definitely don't know that much more psych than the average person, so I wouldn't worry to much about that! Whatever I learned from my college coursework was enough!

Why did you choose to become a teacher, if you’re comfy answering that? Do you think someone needs to be a particular sort of person, like an extrovert, to be a teacher? And who would you recommend it, for someone who wants to — sounds cliche, I know — make a difference in the world, even if small?

I feel very strongly that there is NOT a particular sort of person you need to be a teacher—mostly because my personality is generally not the "typical" teacher. I'm not bubbly and extroverted or particularly warm and fuzzy, the way that I think a lot of teachers tend to be. I don't like decorating bulletin boards, I'm not a fan of arts and crafts (especially glitter), would usually prefer not to be the center of attention and my idea of a good time is reading a book at home lol. I'm not excessively organized, and my idea of a plan is often a couple sticky notes in different locations. My heart races when I have to handle a hard behavior situation. But that being said, I have strengths in different areas that I think make me unique as a teacher. I like to make the kids laugh so I dress up in funny costumes that relate to what we're learning, i read a lot so I know a ton of random stuff I can share when it's relevant, and I like to do silly things that surprise them and make them want to listen. You learn what your personal strengths are and how to maximize them against your weaknesses, no matter what those strengths are.

I chose teaching because I wanted a job that felt meaningful and necessary, allowed me to be creative, was dynamic and let me constantly learn and think on my feet. And I think that any person who wants those things will find meaning in teaching, with the right support and environment!

What’s it like being a teacher, objectively? As in… ugh, I’m so sorry, this is so long already, but some Background — I live somewhere in Africa, but I’m able to study, and hopefully live, overseas. And teaching here is… government funded, crumbling schools, a very low pass rate and teachers who often just walk out of their classrooms...

So if you're thinking of teaching in the U.S., I will say it's very different everywhere. Our public schools are also government funded, primarily by taxes, but that means schools in rich areas are better funded than schools in poor areas, and there's inequity there as a result. My personal school isn't in great physical shape but our standardized test score are usually above the national average, and we have most of the stuff we need. That being said, I do end up buying a lot of supplies from my own personal money—I do a lot of thrift shopping and dollar store runs to get books for the kids, art supplies, etc.

I think my salary is average for what full-time employees of any kind make in the U.S. But also, unlike a lot of fields, I have a guaranteed raise (not a huge one, but still) for every additional year of experience and level of education beyond my bachelors degree. I think benefits like insurance differ depending on the school and district, but my personal benefits are actually great—most things health insurance wise are totally covered (in the US your employer usually buys your health insurance and you're stuck with what they give you, or you can buy your own).

That being said, the job isn't easy. There are easier ways to make what I make. I was getting frustrated the other day because an acquaintance of mine who's just graduating school said "I won't accept any job that pays less than 60k a year, that would be an insult" (which,,,is more than I make, and in my opinion that was a very presumptuous thing for him to say) and he was looking at jobs that were just,,,,objectively less demanding than teaching. So at the start of your career, which is where I am, you're definitely not rolling in the dough lol.

But I can support myself as a single adult, and put myself through a master's program at the same time (with loans, but still—doable!) I feel generally supported by my administration, there's a labor union to make sure the conditions are acceptable, and I usually have what I need! It is different everywhere, and private schools are probably a whole different ballgame, but that's been my personal experience!

Every teacher I’ve known has complained about the marking; is it unmanageable or just a downside that comes w/ the job?

I think you mean like marking papers and tests—I honestly don't mind that too much! It's not my favorite thing to do, but because my students are so young there really isn't a lot of it, as I don't give them particularly long assessments or too often.

Anyway, I hope some of this will be helpful to you anon! Whatever you decide to do, I hope it's fulfilling and something meaningful for you, and I know you'll be great at it. Feel free to message with questions at any time, and good luck!

#asks #i hope this was helpful!!#it really is different everywhere but I think my experience is pretty average?#it's a hard job but it's a fulfilling one #:))#kasey ramblings

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assassins-and-hidden-blades · 3 years

Text

Miracles -- Part 3

07/04/2021: Here it is!! The one, the only, the... 6.1k words of purely self indulgent protective!Jacob (lowkey been doing it for everyone and their mother except for when with the reader and idk why bc i dig that shit too)

I really hope you guys enjoy this, because I loved writing it!! There's a chance I could sneak in a last chapter if people wanted that? Feedback would be greatly appreciated!! This is super long, so sit down and get comfy :)

Pry these commas from my cold, dead hands tho. Also, I HC Jacob to be predominantly left-handed, but that's just me aha.

Warnings: Bit of violence, swearing, corporal punishment, arson (without giving too much away)

Tagging: @marshmallow--3 // @missingfrye // @ct-5445 // @iceboundstar // @rahdaleigh // @pink-polarfox // @b3k1720 // @itseivwhore // @sofiewithat // @missbenzayb

Assassin's Creed Mobile Masterlist

Red Dead Redemption 2 Mobile Masterlist

Part 1 HERE, Part 2 HERE

The night was cold.

You retreated further under the blankets, turning to rest your head on your beloved’s chest. You wore an oversized shirt, and he wore a loose pair of breeches. His arm pulled you closer, fingers stroking your bicep. In turn, you traced the Rook painted on his chest. “Jacob?”

He turned to gaze down at you, lips inches from your forehead. “Yes, my love?”

“My family have written to me; they would like me to visit them in Warwick.”

“Your family lives quite far,” Jacob remarked, smiling adoringly at you. “Will you and Lily be alright travelling by yourselves?”

You sighed. “That’s the problem.” Sitting up, you gently grasped Jacob’s hand, playing with his fingers. “They don’t know that Lily exists, and I have no chance of telling them that I have a child without the status of ‘wife’.”

“I see…” Jacob watched you trace the lines on his hand. “Is there anything I can do?”

Propose, you idiot.

“Could you look after Lily while I’m away?”

“On my own?” His fingers tightened around yours.

“I trust you with her, Jacob. You’re the only one I can trust her with.”

He sucked in a breath. “Are you sure?”

“Stop doubting yourself.” You kissed his temple. “Besides, she adores you; she’ll listen to you.”

“Alright then. It’s decided.”

“Thank you, my love. However can I make it up to you?”

Sensing the humour in your tone, Jacob winked. “I can think of a few things.”

You laughed to yourself as you blew out your candle, the darkness enveloping the room as you pulled yourself closer to Jacob, the security of his arms lulling you to sleep.

----------

Before you knew it, you were packing a carriage with your luggage, setting off for the journey ahead. Jacob was standing in the doorway of your house, Lily resting on his hip. “Mama, do you have to go?”

“Sweetheart, if I don’t, then horrible Aunt Susan will come marching all the way down here herself, and we don’t want that, do we?” Lily shook her head, giggling.

“She’s not the only one who’s going to miss you.” Jacob wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you into his side. Smiling, he dipped his head to lock his lips with yours.

“Yuck!”

The both of you pulled apart, chuckling.

“Well, I best be going. Don’t get into any trouble; I know what you both are like unsupervised.”

Sharing mischievous looks, they began to wave as you got into the carriage.

“Bye, Mama!”

“Safe travels, my love!”

You watched as they recede from view, the picture of your perfect family playing in your mind as hooves against cobblestone played in your ears.

As soon as the carriage turned the corner, Jacob turned to Lily. “What do you fancy doing?”

Lily giggled. “I have school!”

Jacob mockingly rolled his eyes. “That is the worst answer I’ve ever heard.”

“Are you saying I can skip?”

As much as he’d want to say yes, you would have punted him six ways from Sunday. “‘fraid not, love.” He took her inside. “But I can promise that afterwards, I’ll take you to get iced cream.” Lily cheered in victory before she hopped down, scurrying to collect her things for the day ahead.

----------

Jacob walked Lily to school that morning, keeping her on his left and away from the curb. He grasped her hand firmly, lest she get lost in the rushing crowd. When he approached the building, he saw various parents saying goodbye to their children, as well as some children arriving on their own.

He knelt down to her height, tidying her windswept appearance with a reassuring grin. “You have a good day, alright?”

Smiling widely, she nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Thank you, Papa.”

Wait, what?

Jacob’s breath caught in his throat. Lost for words, he kissed her head and returned the hug tenfold. “I love you, angel.”

“Love you too!”

The bell rang moments after, causing Lily to pull away. “Don’t be late!” Waving, she ran to catch up with her friends and disappeared into the building. Standing up, Jacob cleared his throat and tugged on his waistcoat to compose himself, though he could barely stifle his grin. The warmth in his heart engulfed his chest. He walked past the rest of the parents as if he were walking on clouds, his happiness fixed for the day.

----------

“What’s got you in such a good mood today?” Evie asked her brother, watching incredulously as she found him tidying his train carriage.

“Oh, nothing.” Although his tone was dismissive, his face told a completely different story.

“Did you… have a good night?”

“Oh, no.” Chuckling, he sifted through the papers on his desk. “Y/N’s headed to Warwick.”

Puzzled, Evie tilted her head. “Free beer?”

“Nope.” He popped the ‘P’.

“Come on, then; what is it? You can’t expect me to keep guessing forever.”

Restraining himself from jumping for joy, he turned to his sister. “Lily called me ‘Papa’.”

Evie’s face lit up. “Oh, Jacob, that’s lovely! Does this mean you’ll…” She mimicked opening a ring box.

Blushing, he nodded, a toothy grin plastered on his face. “I’m excited, Evie. I… I need to sit down.”

He leaned back on the sofa, tossing his hat beside him. Running a hand through his hair, he sighed. “Are you alright?” Evie took a chair to sit opposite him.

“I… I’ve never felt this much joy in my life.”

“Jacob Frye, you’re practically speechless.”

“Don’t get used to it.”

“You have to buy the rings before Y/N comes back.”

“I will. Maybe Lily will want to come with me. Not yet, though; I don’t want to spring the news on her immediately.”

Evie began to talk about the type of engagement ring you would find the most appealing, but Jacob had all but zoned out. He was fidgeting with the iron band on his right index finger, engraved on the inside with the Assassin’s Insignia. Barely thinking, he removed it and switched hands, sliding it on his ring finger.

He was going to get married. You were going to be his wife.

“What if she doesn’t say ‘yes’?” A sudden anxiety clutched his heart as he looked up in worry.

Evie was stunned into silence. “What are you talking about?! Of course she’s going to say yes!”

“She has a child to think about; what if she doesn’t want to get married at all?”

“Jacob,” she sighed. “She knows you’d do anything for Lily. You’ve done it right from the beginning.” He shifted in his seat as a phantom pain clutched his side, remembering his tussle with Thomas Lynch. “She would be insane not to want someone like you as a husband, and as a father to her child.”

“When did you learn to talk like that?” Jacob smirked.

“When you’re the eldest, you learn a thing or two.”

“Bullshit.” He scoffed, but wordlessly thanked her for the reassurance.

“Knock knock.” Eyes fixed on the doorway as Henry peered around the corner. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but I need some papers from Jacob.”

“Right; which ones?” He stood up and closed the two meter gap to the pile of half sorted paperwork.

“The ones on James Brudenell.”

“Who?” He frowned.

“Lord Cardigan.”

“Oh, that prick…” He thumbed through the various files, quickly getting to the end with no sign of the desired intel. “I must’ve left it at the house. I’ll head off there now and bring them to you tomorrow.”

“Can you not come back straight away?”

“I need to get to the school; there won’t be enough time. I’m taking Lily out for that new iced cream.” Evie quirked her lips into a knowing smile. “What?”

“Oh, nothing,” she shrugged.

Shaking his head, Jacob grabbed his hat and opened the door, watching the train slow into the station. “See you tomorrow.”

“Don’t forget the--”

“The papers, yes, I’ll get them!” By then, he had already jumped onto the platform, disappearing into the crowd.

----------

On the stroll back to the house, Jacob checked his pocket watch, planning his time accordingly. He’ll find the papers, finish the paperwork that should’ve been completed two weeks ago, and head to the school.

The street seemed unusually quiet at this time in the afternoon, but Jacob only grew concerned when he noticed a lack of Rooks. Usually, there would be more and more scattered around the closer he grew to the house, but so far he could count them all on one hand. A scuffling from behind him pricked at his ears. He spun, brows furrowed, but the road was empty, save for a carriage calmly trotting past. He used it as a reassurance that he was probably acting paranoid, and continued where he was heading, albeit at a faster pace.

The secure feeling he felt upon approaching the house eased the weight on his chest. Pulling out his key, he wasted no time in disappearing inside. It was quiet without you, and there was the familiar longing he felt in his heart. Sighing, he mentally crossed off another minute until he could hold you in his arms again.

He moved upstairs and into his study. At the prospect of spending more time with him, you jumped at the chance to make a spare empty room a working office. He hung his jacket and hat on a coat rack, taking a seat at the desk. The natural light coming through the window landed perfectly on the wood, illuminating the workspace without the need for candles. Jacob searched his drawers, finding the file with relative ease. He grabbed a dip pen, opened an ink pot, and quickly began scrawling details down.

He was lost in thought at the memory of his encounter with Lord Cardigan when a crude knocking hit the door downstairs. Jacob froze, focusing on the noise outside. All business was kept around the train; he sternly told Evie and Henry not to give out the address to anyone. The only other people who would have had an idea where he was were the Rooks stationed around the street, but they were loyal -- were they not as trustworthy as he thought? Who was at the door?

Harsher thuds against the door made his heart leap. He moved slowly; inch by inch, he stood and crept towards the door, pulling out the cane from his coat as quietly as he could. His boots barely made a sound as he headed down the stairs, hand calmly turning the knob to open the door.

On the other side stood two gentlemen, waiting almost expectantly. “Can I help you?” Jacob asked, tone laced with suspicion.

The two exchanged looks before one started to speak. “Pardon me, sir, but would you be interested in purchasing some humbugs? We’re opening a new shop not too far from here. We thought we could go from door to door to begin our business endeavours.”

Eyes flitting between the two, unease began to set in. “No, thank you.”

“Understood. Have a nice day.” The other tipped his hat and turned to leave as Jacob slowly shut the door again.

“What…?” He’s had bankers act more persuasive than these men. They did not seem that interested in sales. His eyes scanned the room, as if that would give him answers to a most peculiar interaction. In a second, his heart jumped as they landed on the clock. If he didn’t leave now, he’d be late to pick up Lily. He grabbed his coat and hat from upstairs and burst out of the door, rushing in the direction of the school.

----------

He made the journey by the skin of his teeth, jogging almost the entire way. As soon as he approached, the bell rang, and children began to flood out of the doors. He stood by a tree and scanned the children as they continued to rush out. A few moments later, Lily emerged, nervously clutching her hands together as she scanned the adults around her. Jacob frowned and walked towards her, concern growing. He could see the upset growing as she at first couldn’t see him. “Lily!”

As soon as she heard her name, her gaze immediately landed on the source and took off running towards him. He knelt just in time for her to jump into his arms, face hiding in his neck. “Hey, are you--” He was cut off by the sound of sobs. “Okay, alright, it’s alright, angel.” Confused, he picked her up and went to sit on a bench overlooking the playground, shushing her gently.

Cradled in one arm, Jacob used his free arm to reach into his pocket, bringing out his flask. “Take a drink, sweetheart.” She gingerly took the container, taking a few gulps of the fresh water inside. “Now, tell me what happened.” He tried to speak softly, to not provoke more tears.

“I didn’t do it! They think I did, but I didn’t!”

“What didn’t you do?”

“Throw a rock.”

“Even if you did do that, it’s only a rock.”

“It hit the teacher!”

Jacob was silent for a minute. If they thought she pelted a rock at the teacher, there would have been harsh punishments…

“Please believe me; I promise I didn’t do it!”

Shocked, Jacob pulled her closer. “Of course I believe you! Why wouldn’t I?” His eyes landed on her fists, which have barely opened since he saw her, save for the flask. “Can I see your hands?”

She nodded, and Jacob shifted her against his shoulder so he could use both hands as he slowly uncurled her fingers. Her palms were a stark red, the clear markings of a cane riddled her skin almost completely; and they looked like the instrument hit hard. He quietly asked for the other one, inspecting them with the care one would give to a newborn, brows furrowing at the sight. Lily watched his eyes moving constantly across her hands. The thought of letting her father down ushered tears to the surface. Jacob’s eyes caught hers watering. “Did I hurt you?”

She shook her head. “I’m sorry…”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, love. Do you know who really did it?”

Nodding slowly, she pointed to the playground to a boy who was laughing by a group of children who were playing with marbles. “Oliver.”

“Okay.” The two of them stayed there for a while as Lily continued to calm down.

Just as Lily began to smile at Jacob’s conversation, a shadow overcame the both of them. Jacob felt her recoiling into his side. He looked up to see a weathered looking man with a styled moustache and a stiff looking suit, a hand against the back of his head. “So, she’s yours.” The slight tone of disapproval channeled an urge of protectiveness inside him. He sat Lily behind him on the bench as he stood toe to toe with the teacher.

“Is there a problem?” Jacob’s eyes assessed the man from head to toe, noting the thin cane that he leaned on.

“You should be ashamed of your daughter’s behaviour.”

“Why? She did nothing wrong.”

“On the contrary…” Turning around, he removed the cloth on his head, revealing a jagged cut along the back of his head.

“It wasn’t me, sir! It really wasn’t!” Lily was begging for her teacher to believe her.

“Then who was it?”

Lily stood up on the bench still hiding behind Jacob’s shoulder but managing to equal his height. “Him.”

Her finger showed Oliver laughing at someone who had tripped over a skipping rope.

“Do you really think that she would do something like this?” Jacob raised an eyebrow.

Neither agreeing or disagreeing, he instead gestured with his cane. “I’m watching you, Y/L/N.” Jacob narrowed his eyes. “I would be mindful of your attitude towards my daughter.”

Grumbling, the teacher turned and walked away. “Oliver!”

“Th-Thank you.” A sniffling from behind him softed his face and melted his heart.

“Let’s go, angel. There’s some iced cream with our name on it.”` He hoisted Lily on his hip and headed in the direction of home, hoping that the anger would dissipate with each passing step.

----------

The house came into view shortly after Jacob left the sweet shop, two cardboard pots of the cold dessert in their hands. “This is delicious!” Lily was almost her normal self again over the journey home, relinquishing details of the day as they closed the short distance to the house. Placing Lily on the floor, he took out his key and pushed it into the lock, turning the knob. Without turning the key, the door opened. He must’ve forgotten to lock it when he left the house earlier. Brushing it off, he opened the door the rest of the way and stepped aside for Lily to enter first. He checked the rest of the street one more time for anything out of the ordinary before shutting and locking the door behind him, acting safe rather than sorry.

A slight smell filled his nose as he walked into the room. It was barely there, but he could smell something. Unfocusing his eyes, he watched as colours flooded his vision. Looking around, he couldn’t spot anything strange right away, but the smell was in the air and it set him on edge. Shaking his head, he rubbed his eyes. He had felt more emotion in one day than he had for a long time, and his body had worn him out. “Are you hungry, Lily?”

She sat at the kitchen table. “A little bit.”

“Anything you particularly fancy tonight?”

“Hmm… Sausages and potatoes!”

Jacob chuckled at her excitement. “Consider it done, my lady.”

----------

Dinner was over and done with by the time the sun set below the skyline. Jacob helped Lily get ready for bed before tucking her in. “When’s Mama coming home?” she asked, playing with Jacob’s hair.

“Hopefully in a few days; Warwick is surprisingly far, even by carriage.”

“Thank you. For believing me.”

Jacob smiled sombrely. “I will always believe you. That also reminds me…” He reached into the bedside drawer and pulled out a small pot of salve. “May I?” Lily offered her hands, and Jacob gently rubbed the ointment over her raw skin.

“It’s cold.”

“It’s supposed to get rid of the pain. How do they feel?”

She nodded. “Good.”

As he returned the salve to the table, he took a breath, steeling himself to give either the best news or the worst news.

“How would you feel… if I asked your mother--”

“To marry you?!” Her eyes widened, her smile reaching her ears. “Yes!”

She jumped out of the covers to hug Jacob tightly. He reciprocated, closing his eyes to savour the moment. “Please ask her,” she whispered.

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Giggles filled the air as he pulled the covers over her again.

“Thank you, for letting me in.”

“You make Mama happy. That’s all I want.”

Jacob sighed, a small smile playing on his lips. “You’re wise beyond your years.” He leant down to kiss her forehead. “Goodnight, angel.” He stood up and blew out the candle.

“Goodnight, Papa.” Lily didn’t miss the way Jacob’s eyes crinkled as he smiled, shutting the door quietly.

He poked his head into his study, sighing when he saw his half-finished paperwork that needed to be handed to Greenie the next morning. Every fibre in his being resisted, but he knew his procrastination would catch up to him eventually. So he sat down, lit a candle, and tried to wrap everything up in as little time as possible.

About half an hour went by before Jacob finished the long overdue paperwork. Struggling to keep his eyes open, he went downstairs to the spare room he kept his bedclothes in. He fell backwards onto the bed. “Just five minutes…” he bartered with himself, resting his eyes.

----------

A scream made his blood run cold.

Bolting upright, Jacob immediately noticed plumes of smoke coming in from underneath the door, the burning smell inviting a cough from his lungs.

The house was on fire.

He lunged for the doorknob, the metal quickly searing his skin. His fingers clenched around the knob reflexively. “Ah, fuck!” He shook out his hand, watching as the flesh blistered in front of his eyes. Turning around, he dug around in the chest of drawers for extra clothes to wrap around the knob, turning and pulling swiftly before the heat travelled through the fabric. The door burst open. Jacob ducked as the flames whipped around the open space, newly fed by the released oxygen. Fresh smoke engulfed the room; Jacob inhaled a lungful as it blew towards him. He cleared his chest as he fanned the smoke away. Wrapping the clothes around his arm as a guard, he braced himself and ran upstairs, only one thing on his mind.

“Lily?!” The flames had almost completely engulfed the lower floor; he was surprised and relieved that he had managed to dodge any falling debris. “Lily!” He covered the metal with the clothes as he reached her door, slowly peeling the door away and slipping through as small a gap as he could, avoiding the mistake he made earlier. He closed the door behind him, the air luckily cleaner in her bedroom. “Lily, where are you?!”

He checked under the bed, and began to grow panicked when he couldn’t find her. He heard the scream, but nothing else. What if…

He swallowed, trying to ease the tight band in his chest.

Opening the wardrobe, he practically collapsed in relief when he saw Lily cowering in the corner. “Come to me, angel.” She dived into his arms, quivering in fear. “It’s alright, we’ll get out. I need you to be brave for me, okay?”

“Okay.” Her voice was shaking.

He looked around for a quick exit, eyes landing on a window. He led Lily over and unlatched it, pushing it with his uninjured hand, albeit with difficulty. Leaning out, the air cleansed his lungs. He hoisted Lily onto the windowsill to give her fresher air, holding her to make sure she doesn’t fall out. She clutched onto him tightly. He noted how it opened into an alleyway. He heard the bells of police and fire engines around the front of the house.

“HEY! OVER HERE!” A man peered around the corner. “HEY! HELP!”

“We can’t fit the ladder through here! You have to go around the front!”

Jacob blinked. “Have you gone mad?!”

“There’s a small window around the front, looks like the landing. You better make a move before it’s no longer an option!”

“Can’t you just climb down?” Lily mumbled, mind in shock.

Jacob inspected his blistering palm; it felt as if he was still holding the doorknob. Slowly, he put pressure on his hand against the windowsill. The pain immediately bubbled up his arm. Biting his lip, he tried to pull himself onto the windowsill. With his weight, it was maybe possible, since he could drop higher than normal and roll once he hit the floor. With Lily, that wasn’t an option.

“I can’t risk it.”

“Well?!” The man was still there, watching him.

“Be ready!” Jacob pulled Lily into him. “I need you to breathe into this, alright, angel?” She nodded slowly. He gave her one of the shirts wrapped around his arm. “Close your eyes.”

“Should I count to ten?”

“It shouldn’t take any longer, love.”

Taking a second to compose himself, he wrapped his hand up and opened the door, squeezing through as little as he could before shutting the door again. He made a beeline for the end of the hall, dodging the flames as they grew nearer, licking the edge of the wooden floor. Reaching the window was the easy part. The hard part was opening the damn thing. It felt heavier than it usually did, and he strained his free hand to push it to the top. Outside, firemen were already level with the window, waiting for the two of them to emerge.

“One of you at a time.” Without hesitating, Jacob leaned out of the window, one arm reaching Lily out of the window, while the other stopped him from falling out himself.

Just as the firemen approached, Jacob heard a crack above him. “Take her. Take her now!” The urgency in his voice paid off, as he jumped out of the way of a falling support beam, blocking his way out. He hit the floor, covering his face as embers flew around him

Lily crying out caused his heart to flip, but he managed to catch a glimpse of her safely in the arms of the firemen. “No! PAPA!” His anxiety eased slightly, but only just. He scrambled to his feet just as the beam crumbled completely, blocking the window from view.

“Shit!” Coughing, Jacob looked around for another exit. His mind thought back to Lily’s bedroom; he could probably climb down carefully one-handed if he was quick enough. His study also seemed to be the furthest from the rest of the flames.

However, he was on borrowed time.

Downstairs was fully demolished; there was no way out there. Upstairs was closing in on him fast, the heat beginning to singe the hair on his arms and sear his skin. He ran for his study, narrowly avoiding falling debris. As he slammed the door shut, he was relieved at the sight of the room being unscathed. For now. He looked over the papers; they were definitely worth taking.

He emptied his desk of the files and stuffed them in a satchel that hid under his desk. He worked tenderly with his burned hand, careful not to aggravate the wound more than he already had. He coughed some more as he slid the satchel over his head, tightening the strap so it would lay fast against his back. As the cold leather touched his skin, he hissed. The flames must have licked him on the way in. He turned to check how much time he had left.

The fire had crept inside the doorframe, taunting him in a turbulent tango.

Jacob hurried for the window, looking for the latch. His fingers felt around the edge, but he couldn’t feel anything. He tried pushing, with no luck. Does this window not even open?!

Frantic, his non-dominant and uninjured hand went for the first thing that he could always rely on.

Two wide shots rang out, cracking the glass in a spider-web mosaic. He moved to shatter the glazing, but the world began to spin. Knees wobbling, he fell against his desk, hitting the floor. Coughing hurt, breathing hurt, thinking hurt.

But he was so close.

He blinked away the world that spun around him, shakily getting to his feet. He threw the force of his whole arm into the window, the gun providing the force to break the shards completely. Clearing the way for his hands, Jacob holstered the gun and slowly began the climb onto the roof.

He wasn’t dying. Not today.

Wincing every other second, he pulled himself half-heartedly onto the tiles. Jacob took a second to try and stabilise his vision, securing extra fabric around his hand. He manWeuvered his way around the burning holes, hoping instead to find a way down that doesn’t involve jumping or falling.

Unfortunately for him, that choice was made for him.

A tile came loose under his foot. He slipped, the edge of the roof coming almost too soon for him to react. His fingers grasped the gutter, which did nothing but snap under his weight. Upon hitting the ground, Jacob managed to roll, but instead of ending on his feet, he slumped across the floor. Groaning, he lay still as he recollected himself. To anyone else, he looked dead.

A pained cry set his heart pumping again, yet he didn’t realise at first that the cry was because of him, not for him. Light footsteps rushed over to him. “Pa? Papa?” He felt fingertips dance across his cheek. “Please wake up!”

He reached for the source of the voice. “I’m okay. Are you alright?” He managed to open his eyes to check over Lily’s state. Her eyes were bloodshot, her skin was dirtied in soot, and one of her hands was bleeding. “Has anyone said they would help you with this?”

She shook her head, the worry not leaving her face. “I’m scared.”

“Don’t be; it’s over now.” He began the arduous process of standing up; from his stomach to his hands to his knees to his feet. Offering his hand to her, Jacob led the two of them out into the street. When everyone gathered in the street saw them, they cheered. Rooks quickly came to assist Jacob and pick up Lily, but he waved them away. He limped his way to the ambulance wagon waiting in front of them. Lily was hoisted onto the end while Jacob leaned heavily against the side. Lily faced him for reassurance.

“Mr Frye, sir!” He tilted his head as little as he could to get a view of who was calling his name. “Are you alright?”

“I’ll be fine; just a bit singed.” He tried to joke, but the pain in his face betrayed his laidback attitude. He grasped his ribs, as if it would ease the burn on the inside. “Where’s Evie?”

“As soon as we heard what happened, we sent for her. She should be here any minute now.”

“Lily goes with Evie. As soon as she shows up, take her to the train. She’ll be safe there.” Another hard cough shook his chest.

“With all due respect, are you sure you’re well?”

“I’m… I…” The floor was ripped from under him. Jacob’s knees buckled as his vision went black. After a few seconds, he came to. The Rooks had caught him on the way down. Disorientated, he blinked, trying to process what was going on around him.

He heard a familiar voice. “Where are they?” Rooks wrapped Jacob’s arms around their necks, pulling him to the edge of the wagon. He barely registered arms pulling him from behind to lie down. He noted how he was staring up at the stars.

“Evie!” A young, panicked yell drove Jacob to sit up, but hands pushed him back down against the wood.

“You don’t want to make things any worse, Mr Frye.”

His body jolted between consciousness and unconsciousness as Evie came into view. She also looked worried. “Jacob? I’ve got Lily; she’ll be safe. I’ll come to the hospital as soon as I can.” Lily was snuggled against Evie, a bandage wrapped around her hand.

“Let’s hope I don’t fall off.” It was weak and hoarse, but there was humour in his tone.

“You better not.”

“Take the bag.” He gestured to the leather satchel underneath him. Slowly, she undid the strap and pulled it out from under him, barely able to avoid causing a wince. She looked inside to find the papers in impressive condition. “It’s the paperwork Greenie asked for.”

Jacob’s smile was weak as the wagon began to drive away. The rocking of the cobblestones was rough, and although jarring, also brought comfort. He fell in company with the stars as his consciousness left him yet again.

----------

The next time he became lucid, he immediately noticed that he could breathe better; oxygen was easier to take in than before, and although not perfect, kept the lightheadedness away. He opened his eyes slowly, blinking to adjust to the light. The feeling of rough gauze was not unfamiliar to him, so he assessed the wounds on his back based on how rough it felt to lean on.

He brought his burned hand up to see that it had also been wrapped neatly. Although that was the majority of his wounds, his entire body ached. He leaned back into his pillow and closed his eyes, assessing the situation. Approaching footsteps made him roll his head to the side, and a doctor appeared with a clipboard. “How are you feeling, my boy?” He asked with a pencil in his mouth, flipping through the various pages.

“Like I’ve been run over by a carriage. Multiple times.”

“I’m not surprised; you inhaled half a factory.”

Jacob prepared himself for the question he knew he had to ask but would hate the answer to. “How long has it been?”

“Oh, a few days, give or take.”

“How many days are we giving or taking?”

Just then, a door opened on the far end of the ward, a few people rapidly approaching. As they turned the corner, Jacob’s heart sank a bit. You were hurrying towards him with the look of a mortified wife, but he dreaded what you thought would be more mortifying: your house burning down, putting your only daughter’s life in danger…

“Thank God!” You swerved around the bed and kissed him, one which conveyed a hundred different emotions, the most evident being relief. After the initial shock, Jacob’s fingers came to your jaw, lightly directing as he kissed you deeper.

He slowly pulled away, worried eyes scanning your face. “I’m so sorry, Y/N, I haven’t the foggiest what happened--”

“You’re both safe; that’s all that matters.”

“But the house…”

“I’ve been prepared for disasters like this for a while. Everything I couldn’t stand to lose went in a fireproof box. There’s nothing gone that I can’t replace.”

“Papa!” Your eyes widened as you exchanged an impressed look with Jacob. Lily had crawled onto the bed and nestled her way into Jacob’s arms.

“Are you alright?” Without speaking, she nodded, deciding to play with his hand, fidgeting with his fingers and tracing the lines. Jacob looked to Evie, who followed her in.

Shepulled a concerned face, coming up to her and putting her hands over Lily’s ears. “She’s been crying herself to sleep, sometimes waking up in the middle of the night calling for one of you, sometimes both. She’ll heal, I’m sure, but for now I think time needs to pass. I investigated what could have happened that night; it wasn’t you.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if they were Templars; pisses me off though.” He turned to you. “If you hadn’t visited your family…”

“Don’t ponder the ‘if’s, Jacob. It leads to all sorts of grief.” You threaded your hands through his hair.

Evie nodded. “All I know is what happened, not necessarily who did it.”

“Go on.”

“The house was rigged to burn down. Someone must’ve broken in, set down some oil or gas, and set it alight. It all happened very quickly -- it’s a miracle you got out when you did.”

At the explanation, Jacob ran a hand down his face. “The fun never stops.” He shifted to stand up.

“What are you doing?” You put your hand on his shoulder.

“I’m going to find whoever did this, and I have a feeling I know exactly where to start.”

“Not in this state you’re not.”

He stood up, much to your protests. “Honestly, Y/N, I’m…” His vision went black immediately, blood rushing to his head.

You quickly caught him. “‘Fine?” Sitting him down again, you brushed his hair out of his face. “Just take it easy.”

“I have errands to run.”

Evie whispered something to Lily, who gave the couple a mischievous grin. “We can do it!”

Jacob smiled, catching on. He leaned down to Lily’s ear. “Pick something Y/F/C,” he whispered. She nodded, grabbing Evie’s hand and running away.

The both of you laughed as Evie was dragged out of the ward. “What was that about?” You raised an eyebrow at the secrecy.

“It’s a surprise.”

Rolling your eyes, you joined him on the bed. “Don’t keep me waiting for too long.”

Jacob smiled to himself, the familiar excitement climbing. “I won’t.”

#assassin's creed #assassin's creed x reader #assassin's creed x f!reader #jacob frye #jacob frye x reader #jacob frye x f!reader #jacob frye oneshot #x reader #assassin's creed oneshot #assassin's creed imagine

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strikethematch18 · 3 years

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Dadzawa x F! Reader - Over Worked & Tired Part 1

It was now reaching the hour of at least 3 in the morning in Japan and you still hadn’t finished your paper proposal that you have been working on for hours on end. It certainly didn’t help that it was weeks overdue with only a few days until the end of the semester for your college courses back in America.

You’re an American based student attending U.A. High, but also completing your bachelor’s degree at a college back in the states. Highly intelligent, as you were a member of Class 3-A and still in high school but only have one more semester until you finish your B.A. in English, about the same time you would graduate high school. Unfortunately, the time difference between the US and Japan has screwed with you reaching deadlines and a symptom of overusing your quirk is a lack of focus, something that you didn’t even tell your homeroom teacher, Mr. Aizawa. You were determined this was something you could do on your own.

Lately, you’ve been feeling like you have something to prove, almost like you’re somehow less than your peers as if your quirk wasn’t as useful or not powerful enough. As if your instant ability to feel empathy and affect emotions as well as being trained in formal combat in a similar fashion to Aizawa and his scarf. In fact, he was the one who worked with you and trained you with it.

None the less you still felt like you were on your own with this and felt like you had to overdo yourself in training exercising. Quite frankly, you were on the serious verge of burn out, you wanted nothing more than to just curl up in your bed and watch a little TV after a nice hot shower. But non the less you had to push those desires aside to finish your college semester out strong.

You take another drink of your contraband energy drink, as a student at esteemed high school U.A. things like those were highly frowned upon as they were enhancing your energy to perform due to their abnormal amount of caffeine. Right now, you didn’t give a damn, you were going to be up all night and had early morning training with Aizawa and you are exhausted either way. Just trying to pull these long nights to finish on time. The dark circles were aware to you and your sluggish movements during the day meant a lot more effort on your quirk.

The door to your dorm room was still open allowing light from the outside room to shine into your room as well as your small little desk lamp providing you with a little bit of light for you to write and research on your laptop. You had a light but warm blanket wrapped around you as you were cold and it was around you very similarly to Aizawa’s sleeping bag come to think about it. You were generally cold a greater portion of the time but this felt a little different than normal, you were starting to become congested, never a good sign.

You sighed as you dropped your pencil on your papers and took your hands and rubbed your face and sat there for a moment just resting them there. You could hear footsteps down the hall and took it as someone getting up to go to the kitchens for something, it was an often occurrence. It did slip your mind that teachers would take shifts to do monitoring at different times in the night just taking a stroll down the hallways making sure everything was alright. Honestly, most teachers just slacked on it most of the time so it wasn’t a regular thing. It didn’t really dawn on you that the footsteps were getting closer to your room and the kitchen was the opposite direction.

Usually, hallway patrols took around 10 minutes for teachers to complete which is why they were skipped so often, but Aizawa actually decided to do his tonight. And to his surprise, he saw one door open compared to the rest closed. His first thought was thinking about what was wrong and quickened his pace. But when he reached your door he couldn’t help but examine your hunched over posture wrapped in your blanket and head in hands, surrounded by loose papers, post its, pens, books, and laptop.

He knew you had a little extra course load normally but he didn’t realize it was something you would be doing well into the night, he just figured you were about to balance everything extremely well as you never complained and usually performed well in classes. However, thinking back to the last week you have seemed a little more tired and in a daze resulting in more quirk effort. The overuse of quirks segment of your student file was blank and he never made the effort to find out.

He continued to stand at your door for another minute and saw the can of energy drink beside you knowing you were a good kid and wouldn’t resort to something as foolish as that without it being a last resort. Aizawa briefly knocked on your door to alert you of his presence. He did have a soft spot for you compared to Midoria or Bakoguo so he was a little more gentle with you.

“Hey kid, what are you still doing up?”

Startled out your state you did a small jump in your desk chair, “Just trying to write this essay. It’s a few weeks overdue and the end of the semester is soon so I need to get this in.”

He took a few steps into your room and stood behind you, “12th-century convents and monasteries in Italy. Hmm, that doesn’t sound very interesting. What kind of class is this for?”

“It’s for my Origins of western though class, medieval through the renaissance. And trust me, it really isn’t, especially when you can’t focus on it at all,” you replied.

“You’re having trouble focusing?” he asked genuinely concerned, he had never heard those words come from you before.

You put your face back in your hands and simply said, “Quirk overuse.”

Aizawa was taken aback for a short moment, you were never one to complain or let someone know when there was something going on, “God kid how long has this been going on?”

“This time? At least since last week.”

“This time? So this isn’t something new?” he was a little shocked since this was the first time he heard of any of your overuse symptoms.

“God no, there’s also an extra degree of fatigue and the occasional headache. Night terrors are kinda common too.”

“Shit Y\N why have you never mentioned this before?”

“It just never seemed to be all that important really, I’ve handled it by myself for years why start before now?”

“When was the last time you got a decent nights sleep, you’re starting to look like me. You’ve even got the whole blanket thing going for you,” he asked looking at your form sitting at your desk as you shifted in your seat to look at him.

“Uh, you know, that’s a really good question and it’s been long enough that I can’t fully remember. To be truthful, I just want to finish this so I can take a warm shower and go to sleep.”

When you looked at him he got a better look at you. To be truthful you looked horrible and he started to feel bad because it was evident you were working yourself to death, and keeping up with both school lives on top of his added one-on-one training sessions were taking a toll on you. He had also noticed the congestion in your voice, that was never a good sign.

He put his hand on your forehead and you leaned into even though it felt cold to you it still felt nice, “Kid you’re burning up, you have a fever, why don’t you stop for the night and get that shower you want and you can crash on my couch tonight so I can keep an eye on you.”

“With all due respect sir, I need to finish this, my professor has been on me for weeks on end on this. I have to finish it tonight. And I couldn’t possibly bother you with just congestion and small fever.”

Aizawa sighed and took a seat on the edge of your still made bed, “Listen, kid, I’ll let you finish. I'm going to sit here until you're done and you’re coming with me.”

You put your head down as you knew there was no way out of this one. He took a book off your nightstand and began reading it as you continue your work. It took you about 2 more hours and he had managed to doze off wait for you. You look back at him sleeping quietly and simply close your laptop for the night and lay your head down and close your eyes for just a second truthfully, you felt horrible. In the absence of your typing, Aizawa woke up and saw you with your head down and got up and put a hand on your shoulder feeling the elevated body heat from your fever radiating through you.

He quietly sighed and in his general monotone voice said, “Come on kiddo let’s go, grab some comfy clothes and you can shower back at my room.”

You compiled and went to stand up but immediately the word was spinning and you had to grab onto the desk to steady yourself. He had immediately put a hand around your waist and only your shoulder not wanting you to fall in your sick weakened state.

“Okay, new plan, We’re going straight to my room, I’ll just give you some clothes and you can take a sitting down shower. I don’t want you to exert any more energy and risk you falling and hurting yourself, so I’m going to carry you, is that okay?”

You gave a small nod and he put one arm under your knees and one on your mid-back and you put your arms around his neck and snuggled into his chest feeling small. And quite truthfully, Aizawa did notice you were a little nighter and a little bonier than he expected before, almost as if you had been skipping meals.

Walking with you down the hallway still wrapped in your blanket ha=e quietly asked, “Kid I need you to be honest with me, are you eating?”

You give a small groan in response, “I accidentally forgot for a few days I’ve just been too busy and didn’t realize.”

Aizawa sighed and realized how work-oriented you are, stopping for nothing and not accomplishing things for your health, “I’ll make you some soup while you’re in the shower okay, then will you please eat a little bit of it?”

You simply nodded your head in his chest resulting in a lack of verbal response.

Once making it back to his living quarters he opened the door and was greeted by a cat waiting for him to get back. He closed the door behind both of you and took you to the bathroom and sat you down on the toilet and told you to undress and take a shower, and he would leave clothes and some towels for you in a bit.

As you did that and carefully sat down at the bottom of the shower and turned the water on you immediately felt the warm water hitting your skin rinsing some of the sick away and you let out a small cough, which didn’t go unnoticed by your teacher leaving a pair of black sweatpants and a charcoal grey sweater that will be much too large for you but are clean clothes you should find comfortable.

#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #aizawa #shota aizawa #aizawa shota #dadzawa #anime #short stories #myheroacademia #my hero academia short story #boku no hero academia short stories #bnha #mha #aizawa father #aizawa teacher #easerhead #earserhead story

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blizzardfluffykpop · 4 years

Text

Red-Letter Day

Summary: This week has been the cherry on the top of the month. The straw that broke the camel’s back.

Vernon X Reader

Word Count: 1,380

Requested by @sweetie-yoongi7 : hi can i request a vernon imagine where he's been neglecting you lately and not being the best boyfriend and the stress of comeback gets to him and he snaps at you and its angsty but then it ends in some good ole fluff ? 💖

Oneshot

This week has been a week from hell, my boss has forced more work onto me. While my other coworkers get to relax and create things at their own pace. I have to put in twice the work in for a deadline on Monday. From spilling hot coffee all over my favorite work shirt. To forgetting my coat when it was pouring down rain. And to top it all off my boyfriend, Vernon, has completely forgotten our anniversary. I know he has a tough working life too, but I made arrangements way ahead of time. Putting reminders everywhere and I circled red on our calendar. But when I showed up dressed to the nines, with him being a no-show. I ended up eating a full course expensive meal by myself, on our anniversary. It’s our fifth anniversary, I know I shouldn’t be as mad as I am. But this, I can’t believe it, through thick and thin we’ve always been by each other’s side. I finished my massive project at work today. It would have been nice to finally relax and talk with him over a nice dinner.

I thought he would remember, but I guess the comeback is getting to him. This month he’s been in the studio way more than my arms. I know it’s their fifth year together as a group and this is a crucial comeback. But even when they debuted and we first got together. It’s like he’s a different man, when he does come home it’s only to sleep or pick up a snack. No hi or bye, and with this week being hell I just wanted to see him again. Talk about everything and work through it together. But no, he decided he had better things to do then celebrate our fifth anniversary. My hands tighten up on the steering wheel, why is everything so hard. I want a hug, and for us to make each other’s worries go away.

When I get home the lights are all out, and he’s not home. I know the boys wouldn’t make him miss such an important night. I decide to wait for him to come home and pull on my comfy pajamas. I sit on the couch watching a sit-com waiting for Vernon. It’s about 1 am when he shows up and when he reaches the couch I ask him softly, “Where were you?” And that’s when he snaps, “WHERE WAS I? I was at the studio making a new song, where do you think I was?” Here, we go, I know I’m not going to be able to hold my tongue. “WOW, THANKS FOR REMEMBERING SUCH A RED-LETTER DAY. You know I’ve had a fucking bad week too, you don’t have to snap at me like you’re all that.” He glares at me, “I’m all what?” his voice condescending, “That you’re better than me because you make music all day. Our anniversary was today and we made plans--” He rolls his eyes, “OH BOO HOO, YOU SIT IN AN OFFICE ALL DAY. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TELL ME MY JOB IS LESSER.” I square my shoulders and stand up, “I WASN’T CALLING YOU’RE JOB LESSER, BUT YOU JUST MADE MINE SOUND LIKE THAT. SO, IT’LL ONLY BE FAIR, VERNON!” Our yelling is probably loud enough for our neighbors to hear. “OH FUCK OFF, it must be so easy just to sit there and twiddle your thumbs and type a few words a day. I have to make a whole fucking album--” I cut him off, “YOU MAKE THE WHOLE FUCKING ALBUM, WHAT ABOUT ABOUT JIHOON HUH? MY ASS, VERNON I WORK JUST AS HARD AS YOU, AND STILL FIND TIME TO TAKE CARE OF OUR RELATIONSHIP!” He rolls his eyes at me, “I FORGET ONE TIME--.” “THIS ISN’T JUST ABOUT THAT, YOU’VE BEEN PUSHING ME AWAY THIS WHOLE MONTH, JUST TO WORK ON AN ALBUM. When we made plans you were so ready to celebrate, and then this month you’ve just been a dick. From not sleeping in the same bed, or leaving before I even get up without a goodbye. You’re gonna tell me that you forgot one time? THIS WHOLE MONTH YOU’VE BEEN ANYWHERE BUT HERE! You know what, that’s a good idea, I’ll see you when you get over yourself.”

I grab my wallet and throw on a jacket and my shoes. With my keys and phone in hand, I run out to my car. I know tears are streaming down my face as I open my car door and lock it. I put my key into my ignition and turn the engine over and play my music too loud for this time of night. As I get ready to pull out of my parking space I see Vernon running out to me. I shake my head and speed off with tears in my eyes.

I end up at a convenience store, wiping my tears. I walk in and grab two pints of ice cream. Eating my feelings out felt nice, as I sat in my car thinking of everything. Why can’t I just be an eighteen-year-old running after my dreams and not knowing how painful life is again. The older I get the more life hits me with bricks. Crying in my car and eating ice cream had to be the best decision I’ve ever made. I let it all out before deciding to return to our apartment. I know nothing will ever be solved unless we work through it. I walk up the steps, trying to avoid the apartment as much as possible by not taking the elevator. I get there and see Vernon sitting against the door. He sees me and looks like a lost puppy, my heart aches and forgives him without even thinking twice. We’ve both had a hard month, this week was just the cherry on the top.

He sees me, he gets up, he's visibly shaking and still crying. I don’t know how our neighbors deal with us. My tears start flowing down cheeks again, with a shaky hand he pulls out a box of chocolates. I pull the other pint of ice cream out of my coat pocket. I ask him softly, “You got locked out of the house, baby?” He nods, his lips pouty, and I unlock the door. “Let’s talk this out in the living room.” He nods when we sit down at the coffee. We apologize at the same time, “Jinx” I say softly, “I’m sorry for snapping.” I nod, “I’m sorry too” We place our stuff on the coffee table, and I carefully grab his hand.

He laces our fingers, “I know today was a red-letter day for us,...” I nod, “It happens,... we both have so much on our plate.” He nods, “Well, I made a song,...” I nod for him to go on, “It’s about us,... It’s going to be released on the album, Jihoon likes it. He told me, ‘Young Love, ahh, so sweet’.” I laugh, “I was told to write a paper while my coworkers got free time. I wrote about you,... I was asked to write about what makes me calm down. But what makes me calm is you, you just know what to do. Your energy is so mellow--.” He grins, “That’s why I like your energy, you’re so vibrant--” I shake my head, “Yeah, but your style, have you seen it?” He laughs and squeezes my hand. “I love you, Vernon.” He grins, “I love you too, (Y/n).”

We both get up from the coffee table. “How about tomorrow, we both go wherever you want?” He asks and I shake my head ‘no’ and tell him, “How about we go where we both feel comfortable.” He grins and kisses my forehead, and agrees. After putting away the ice cream and chocolate, we go up to our bedroom.

With that we fall asleep, tuckered out from everything, holding onto each other. Arguments happen, they’re not preventable but it’s solving them is what makes a relationship work. Working together is hard especially if your views conflict. But in a relationship, you look past that and into each other’s souls. For we all are lonely, just wanting love and care when times get rough.

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peppusae · 4 years

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How to say 'I love you' without saying 'I love you' | Chae Hyungwon pt 1

part: 1 of 3

other parts: pt 1 || pt 2 || pt 3

pairing: chae hyungwon x reader

genre: fluff, little slow-burn and angst, smut

word count: 5.6k words

note: i had a dream about this plot so i must write this because after this dream hyungwon became my bias wrecker and i cry about him every day since pls send help gbye

ugh i love him so much :(((

How to say 'I love you' without saying 'I love you'

What’s every kpop fan’s goal in life?

To meet their idols, attend a concert, and attend a fan sign, right?

Some others... They aim higher than that.

And you’re one of those people.

In fact, you love k-pop so much that you found your career took a whooping turn and you ended up majoring in language, for the very simple fact that you could apply to join an entertainment company and be a staff/writer, the latter which makes you feel the proudest of yourself.

But life….

Life can be super mean sometimes. And you learn this the hard way, when you get rejected by SM entertainment - your first and actually the only choice because you are a major Shinee fan and life is just NOT fair at all!

One way or the another, after multiple applying, you finally get a good job in another company - Starship Entertainment.

Now, Starship was definitely not one amongst your top 5 agencies. But you always try not to let that affect your work - and over time, you come to love your job.

Especially when you get assigned as Monsta X’s writer and interpreter.

You find the members of the group very very appealing, all of them having their own charms.

Hyunwoo, who goes by the name Shownu and has an appetite that makes everyone giggle; He is such a soft-hearted soul and you really look up to him because he is always kind enough to give you a hand if he finds you doing something like lugging some boxes around, and would give the prettiest eye smiles when he gets a compliment.

Hoseok, who goes by the name Wonho and is probably the person you would sacrifice everything for; because of the heartwarming smile he has to offer, the way he continuously asks you to go through the comments he received on his vlives, and would politely request you to review what fans are saying about him on his posts.

Kihyun, who is very much Korean down to the bone with his extremely polite mannerisms and the way he always makes sure the staff - you included - are always eating as well; even if it’s a show about them. And also, the way he had once asked if he was your bias, and looked shocked to hear he wasn’t - and then continued to do things to get your attention and ask “Am I your bias now?” in the middle, like an idiot.

Jooheon, who also occasionally comes to you and asks for mini English lessons, and then gets bored after learning two or three new words - and then instead likes to chat about random things like the cats he owns, and your line of cacti which he, for some reason, is obsessed with, and your chats with Jooheon usually end with a compliment battle, and he always made you feel proud because he always says that chatting about normal things like that always inspires him a lot too.

Changkyun, who you consider as your bias wrecker because he keeps his own cool, stays in his own bubble and get things done, and doesn’t brag; instead, he’s very gentle, always the first person to notice if you’re sitting out in the lounge by yourself racking your brains for new content, and uses you as a guinea pig for testing out his lame new puns or pickup lines.

And then… Hyungwon, who doesn’t talk a lot when he’s with the rest of the group, but you found to be startlingly talkative when he’s doing a solo vlive or with only a few members like either Shownu or Wonho. In fact, you remember being wide-eyed when he continuously chatted with his fans on a vlive for a whooping 2 hours, and you can’t forget the precious and warm smile he had on his face when you said you liked seeing him so lively and talkative.

“I have a lot of things up my sleeve which you probably don’t know that much about, [Name]-ah.” He had said that time, and sometimes, you can see the way his eyes would filter through the staff during shows and land on yours, and smile at you.

And finally, Minhyuk, who was your absolute favourite out of the entire group, your bias because he gets along so well with everyone, always making everyone - including the staff - laugh, and would not hesitate to call anyone out if they’re doing something they shouldn’t. It makes you giggle, the way he would approach you in the middle of a variety show shooting they’re doing and ask if you were the writer of the show and how you had the audacity to make them walk around like lunatics. He acts like a crackhead like that, but you’ve grown to be so attached to him when you realized that, beyond his bright personality, he also is an insanely sweet person; You found this out when you had mentioned applying to SM entertainment because Shinee was your favorite group ever, and Minhyuk -even if he asked how dare you talk about other men in his presence - met up with Shinee while hosting a show and got the members to sign, and even got Kibum, your Shinee bias, to sign you a message inside their recent album.

Undoubtedly, Minhyuk was your favorite, for a good reason.

But still, to be put frankly, Hyungwon was the member that has your heart, for the simple reason that he was so unpredictable and has his own sense of humour and personality.

Since you got assigned to work with Monsta X, your life has been a messy tangle of fun, a normal day being you having a chat with Hyungwon and then getting interrupted by Minhyuk who would have zero filters and ask “Are you two dating?”, which causes the two of you to flush red for no reason, while Kihyun would overhear this and say “Huh?! You’re picking him to date but you don’t think of me as bias material?”.

The cycle would be endless, with Wonho laughing while watching the entire scene unfold, while Jooheon would join in with Minhyuk while Shownu would butt in and say “Minhyuk-ah, we have to go back to practise now tho,” and Changkyun sticking his head out from his dorm room and saying he still has 5 more minutes to finish the session of his favorite game.

You’ve grown to love this cycle and it doesn’t feel like a job, doing something you love with good people to work with, and life has been even easier after you got a dorm room within the building.

So, even if you had a roommate - and she’s nice, just not too close - things at Starship has been working out well for you.

Your daily chaos started simmering down a little once the pandemic hit, and all of the staff got confined to their rooms for work.

Because some of the shows you’re writing the scripts for are getting approved easily, you feel lucky to be one of the few staff who is now allowed to go alongside the members when they’re out for shows.

The times when you’re working from your dorm room, you feel so tired - perhaps missing the chaos you were so used to for the past couple years.

One day, you get a kakao chat from Hyungwon, asking if he can come over to discuss something with you.

It’s early in the morning - 8:15 am, and you’re half awake but you let him in, trying your hardest not to yawn too much in front of the member you considered the most attractive from the bunch.

Your roommate, Dawon, was kind enough to clean up the room a little bit when you said Hyungwon was coming over - and you said it on purpose because you knew she called Hyungwon her type and admits to having a teensy crush on him even though she knows it won’t work out anyways.

Hyungwon is wearing a caramel sweater and grey baggy sweatpants, and it always warms your heart to see the boys dressed in comfy clothes because they have to spend so much time wearing clothes that probably look good but not feel as comfy.

“Hyungwonnie, come on in!” You greet him, and he reacts with a chuckle and he always does that ever since you started calling him by that nickname after the day he said you should use casual language with him.

Hyungwon gives a little nod to your roommate in acknowledgement, and waits until you draw the curtain separating the room, before he speaks.

“I have a magazine shooting next month, and these are the set of questions they’re gonna ask me.” He says, putting the big envelope he had in his clutches on the top of your desk after he takes his seat. “I need help coming up with answers.”

Hyungwon was usually one of the few members who always comes to use the opportunity; the artists are free to ask the writers for help with answers they’ll give for their interviews, and Hyungwon always makes full use of the opportunity, and Shownu and Wonho occasionally drop by too, as well.

You’re always happy to be asked for help, but today, you find yourself sweat-dropping at the thought. You were so sleepy, the only reason you’re not dozing off is because you had forced yourself not to sit down.

“Why?”

“What?”

“You’re usually always excited when I ask for something like this, so why today?”

Ouch. Sometimes, much like you can read the boy’s faces and know what’s going on, they can sometimes do the same for you, too.

“Well, you see....”

“Have you been getting enough sleep?”

Double ouch. You knew the boys - at least, most of them - were good observers, but you didn’t expect Hyungwon to catch on so easily.

“I actually do get enough sleep, but these days, I feel extra sleepy for an hour or so after I wake up.”

This makes Hyungwon chuckle, putting the papers back inside the envelope and turning back to you.

“Welcome to the life of every human being. You sound like you’ve been babied too much.” He has to say, and you watch the way he gets up from his seat and places the envelope inside one of your drawers.

“Let’s get some breakfast.”

“W-What?!”

This makes the male raise an eyebrow, glancing around the room as if he was unsure if it really was you who said that.

“You’re acting as if we have never gone out for a meal together.”

“Well…” You say, because you’ve actually gone with him a couple of times over the four years you’ve been assigned to them.

That was probably because the boys enjoyed ordering in mostly, and eating at their own free times.

Anyhow, it was only a few times, so it definitely did surprise you.

“Okay. Where do we go?”

“I’m in the mood for some eggs and sausages, do you have anything you want to eat?”

“Hey, we’re gonna split the bill okay!?” You hurry to race Hyungwon outside, who goes out in a very knowing way, one that was like a deja vu of the times when he’d butt in when you’re trying to innocently pay for your delivered lunch tray and he’d ask to tab it over to him.

Kihyun was right, he really was different from the way most Monbebe actually looked up at him.

At the restaurant, Hyungwon takes his mask off only after you two are seated at one of the sectioned booths and have ordered your food.

“The pandemic isn’t good, but this is the only thing that I enjoy about it.” He admits, eyes going over to the lack of people inside the place which would usually be filled to the brim with office workers trying to grab a quick breakfast.

“This pandemic has made me a sleepyhead like you.”

“Hey!”

You find yourself smiling so hard around Hyungwon because during breakfast and after you had forcibly paid for you two, on your way back when he offers to buy you coffee - and even remembers your usual order - and the next two hours he spent with you while you helped him write answers and edit what he wrote, it really does not feel like he’s a celebrity at all; but more so as a close friend who makes you feel warm in ways you’ve never felt before.

“Why?”

You snap out from your little trance and go back to typing your script on the laptop, when he interrupts you.

“Why are you smiling? What kind of madness of a show are you writing now?!”

“Hey! Don’t accuse me of writing madness when your Monbebe loves it so much!”

“Yah, that’s too much! Our Monbebe will love us anyway even if you show them us being normal!”

You giggle, because really. When has Monsta X ever been normal?

---

The next day, right after you wake up, you’re working on the itinerary for Monsta X’s upcoming vacation show - a little too late, you had to admit, and that too, when you’re feeling so desperately sleepy like you’ve been feeling lately every morning.

Dawon had gone out to grab breakfast with some of the other staff, and you’re munching on your melon bread, knowing well that the espresso shot you’ve had just a while ago won’t last you for more than 15 minutes.

And it doesn’t.

In fact, you’re actually snoring when your phone rings loudly, making you lift your sorry face up from your laptop keyboard and answering as soon as you pick up the phone.

“Yes, Manager-nim? I’ll send you the itinerary in fifteen minutes!” You say the impossible, because your task in barely done, and you had a feeling you’d fall back onto the laptop keyboard the second the manager hangs up the call.

The sound of familiar chuckling makes you raise an eyebrow and glance at your phone, horrified to see Hyungwon’s name on the display.

“I need it in ten minutes, not fifteen.” He says in a heavy voice, and it makes you huff in embarrassment, glad that he couldn’t see you.

“Very funny, Hyungwon. What did you need?”

“Nothing. Just wanted to wake you up.”

“I was up!”

This makes him laugh yet again, and you sigh, typing on the keyboard as you think about what good excuse you can say.

“If you were up, you wouldn’t have thought I was your manager.”

You let out a little groan, connecting your headphones to the phone so you could multitask while speaking to the male.

“Really, now, Hyungwonnie, what did you really want? Is there something you wanted to ask again?”

“No, I really just called to wake you up.”

“Well. Isn’t that sweet of you.” You say, sarcastically.

The mini banter and sarcastic comments continue for about ten minutes, by which you’d even finished up the itinerary.

So, even if he did laugh at your sleepyhead behaviour - as if he could talk - you made sure to thank him before you go out to take the printouts and finish off your task.

---

And then, that becomes a ritual.

Hyungwon calls you every day at 8 am, right when you’ve signed in for work and are about to head to get some coffee.

He makes small talk with you, talks about little episodes he’d had, and listens to your ideas.

After the first week, you don’t feel sleepy even if you don’t get the coffee; and you don’t even get sleepy after he hangs up.

Every day, it feels like he’s prepared something new, because he makes you laugh so hard that your sleep completely vanishes.

In fact, after a couple of days, he searches up English songs on Genie Music and sings, butchering up a lot of the lyrics on purpose - you know it’s on purpose because Hyungwon has a really good pronunciation when he tries.

One day, you’re butchering up the lyrics of a song along with Hyungwon while you’re writing talk segments for Monsta X’s comeback showcase. Your roommate has been giving you funny looks recently, especially after she asked who was calling you every day and you couldn’t lie and told her it was Hyungwon.

The sudden sound of your door flying wide open and a blonde Lee Minhyuk barrelling into your room makes you stop your singing.

“Oh. So it was you, huh.” He has to say, making himself comfortable on your beanbag chair, and drawing the cloth partition between your room when Dawon - your roommate - keeps staring.

Really, Minhyuk does not know what filters are supposed to be.

“What do you mean?” You ask, and from your headphone, Hyungwon hears his friend’s voice, so he dismisses the call after saying he’ll see you again later.

“So it was you Hyungwonie has been getting up every morning to sing his heart out, huh?”

You stare at him, baffled. “Well, he does sing some normal songs, but he mostly sings crack-”

“He usually never wakes up on his own even if he has schedules, and now he has an alarm to call you every day? What, are you guys dating or something?”

“Yah, Minhyuk, what are you saying!!” You hiss, horrified, because the cloth partition does little to block out sounds from the other side.

“I always tell people if they like someone, to stop being so obvious and just ask them out. It’s easy!!”

“It’s not easy and omg shut up!! He’s just calling me because he’s waking me up, he’s just being kind!”

“Hyungwon never wakes up for us, he’s never kind to us, then! And he’s always still sleepy even if he wakes you up, because he goes straight back to bed after he wakes you up!”

You sigh out loud in frustration, shaking your head. “Come on. What did you want, Minhyukkie?”

Minhyuk gives you a knowing smile before he shakes his head, handing you the binded notebook he had in his clutches.

“You’ll give me a read-over, right? I told you about the radio-show I’m gonna start hosting in a few weeks, right? The concept is clear, but I have some topics I want to talk about and I made some scripts about how I could continue the talk.”

“You got it. I’ll need some time, though, how does Thursday sound?”

“Perfect. Thanks!” He gives you a flying kiss that makes you laugh, and then he’s out as fast as he came barreling in.

---

You expected Hyungwon to stop the calling after the confining to your room rule gets lifted up and you’ve started to go to the office for work.

But he doesn’t, and he sounds as if he’s never been as prepared before as he is now.

Even when the comeback is near and he must be practising into the late hours of the night, he never misses a single day.

A few days before the comeback, you find him having lunch with Shownu, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him in a while - and you hadn’t seen his new hair till then too.

For the first time in the four years you’ve been assigned to work with Monsta X, you take a good look at Hyungwon.

A really, really good look.

At first, he hadn’t noticed you, and while you’re refilling your water bottle with chilled water, you notice the way he’s smiling a little while he listens to what Shownu is saying. The way he uses his hand to brush the fringe of his hair he’s dyed blonde is attractive for the first time - and you’d always thought he was a really, really handsome young man… But this is the first time he looks so attractive that you feel like you’re in a daze, staring at him until chilled water fills up your bottle and pours on your fingers, finally catching your attention.

What gives?

The little yelp you let out makes both Shownu and Hyungwon glance over at you - noticing you for the first time. Hyungwon’s eyes go wide, the top of his palm going up to cover his mouth.

“Ah, [Name]-ah. How are you?” Shownu calls over to you, ever so naturally, and you greet him with a smile when it looks like he’s motioning for you to come over.

“I haven’t seen you in a while. Are you doing well?”

“I’m doing good, Hyunwoo-oppa. You guys must be working super hard for the comeback, right?” You say, glancing at Hyungwon, and for the first time ever, you think he’s actually… blushing ?!

It makes you flustered, thinking about what Minhyuk had talked to you about, while he accused you two of dating. Really, Minhyuk had no filters, it never fails to drive you insane sometimes.

“Yeah! You can expect a lot, please do support us a lot!”

You turn to look at Shownu, beaming at his friendly and charming smile before you excuse yourself and head back before you felt your head would explode.

Now, what the heck was that all about!?

Whatever it was, you were definitely going to blame Minhyuk for this!

---

It absolutely surprises you when Hyungwon doesn’t fail to call you, even the following morning.

You guess you had just imagined it in your head yesterday when Hyungwon looked flustered to see you.

Stupid Minhyuk! It was all in your head after all.

“Now that today’s dumb song segment is over,” Hyungwon says, after he sings a butchered up version of Pretty Please, “I’m gonna sing a song from our album!”

“Oh? Will that be okay?”

“Well, you’ll hear the album preview later today, so, why not?” He has to say. “It’s one of my favorites from the album.”

And then, he sings up to the second chorus of Beautiful Night - a song you fall in love with instantly, because the lyrics are so beautiful and Hyungwon sings as if he’s doing so with his whole soul. It almost makes your eyes teary, and you can barely tell him that you love it, before you have to excuse yourself with a little lie.

Since when did Hyungwon’s voice sound this emotional? It’s been over four years, but his voice has always been the same, beautiful voice as before. You open up Genie music, playing some of the older albums, listening to Hyungwon’s voice in the songs, and you feel like you’ve missed out this side of Hyungwon completely, this madly romantic side of him that sounds so sincere that it makes your heart race.

What is going on, seriously…

---

As the days pass by, the little tingle in your heart whenever you see or hear Hyungwon keeps on getting more and more painful.

In fact, by the end of Monsta X’s three-week promotions for Fantasia X, hearing Hyungwon singing songs for you become almost unbearably sad.

Despite having to wake up earlier, or even having to excuse himself in the middle of getting his hair and makeup done, he makes sure to call you - even if you’re sitting and listening to him when he’s in the same room as you are in.

You realize you can’t hold out your expressions if it’s in front of him, so you make sure to get up and go away somewhere when Hyungwon’s call arrives every day at 8 am on the dot.

It’s a warm Saturday morning, and you’re on your bed, your earpods on and listening to Fantasia X on Genie when Hyungwon’s call of the day arrives.

Today, it’s different.

Usually, he sings a trot song, or a really ugly version of an English song with the hopes of making you laugh so much that your sleep completely vanishes.

But today, he doesn’t say anything and immediately starts to sing soulfully; today, he sings Newton, one of your absolute favorite songs by the group, and…

The way he sings it is so, so sad .

Something inside your heart feels like it is burning, and unknowingly, your eyes brim with tears, because…

All the things Minhyuk had told you, all the things you’ve been thinking about Hyungwon lately, all the little glances he sends your way and then looks away when he sees you’re watching…

You feel your emotions going haywire, and your wishful thinking makes you start crying and you pray to god that Hyungwon, who’s singing the chorus so beautiful and sincerely does not notice.

It’s almost unbearable, and you take off your earpods and have him on speaker, thankful that he doesn’t notice you’ve reached for tissues to wipe your tears.

Since when did I start feeling this way about him?

How can I think this way about one of the members I work for?

Why does Hyungwon sing as if he’s singing just for me, and only me?

Why does it feel like we are never able to meet eyes now?

You have so many questions and no answers, and your hands are shaking as you try to press record on your phone because he sounds so, so beautiful and your crying is not helping you in focusing on his sincere singing.

It is at this moment that the door to your room flies open, and your roommate, Dawon enter the room, then freezes when she sees you crying.

“What’s going on?!”

You’re only able to hand over the phone to her, and mumble a little “Please record it for me” through your sobs.

Dawon looks very confused, raising an eyebrow when she looks at the receiver and sees that it is Hyungwon, on the call.

At that moment, Hyungwon wraps up his singing, clearing his throat a little and speaks for the first time today.

“[Name]-ah.”

You find yourself sniffling, glancing at Dawon who looks visibly upset now… and you can’t even blame her…

“[Name]-ah.” He calls your name again, and this is one of the things that makes you sad in regards to Hyungwon, because… He is a member of Monsta X, one of the manlier groups in the industry for sure, but… He’s so gentle and sweet, a kind-hearted soul, and he does not lack in anything, as he has proudly claimed so.

Even the way he calls your name out is so gentle that it makes more tears stream down your face, and you’re almost scared at how to answer whatever Hyungwon would ask from you.

“[Name]-ah. I have something I have to tell you, in person.”

Your eyes meet with Dawon, who now looks wide-eyed, and you were sure you would probably look the same.

“I… I have to tell you this in person, so, if you… If you’re willing, would you like to… go for dinner with me today?”

More tears stream down your face, and now you know you can never look Dawon in the eyes either so you bury your face on one of your pillows, heart aching too much to do anything else.

“Hyungwon-ssi.”

Dawon speaks into the speakerphone, and it makes you glance at her, wondering what she was going to say.

Hyungwon replies with a loud ‘Huh?’ in confusion.

“Hyungwon-ssi, I’m sorry, but [Name] is outside and she left her phone here.”

Dawon looks at you, lips pressed into a thin line. You feel so uneasy, and it felt like Hyungwon felt the same, because he starts to stammer.

“Wh-Wha? What?! If [Name] wasn’t the one who answered, then wh- Whaaaaa!” You hear a loud whine before the call gets disconnected with a quick mumble of “Sorry!”.

Dawon hurls the phone at your bed, and leaves the room without a word, and it pains your heart so much that you feel like you’ll die.

A text message pops up on your phone a little while later and seeing the text makes you feel a little dizzy, even.

‘If you’re freely going to allow other people to roam through your phone even, I don’t think I have any other choice but to come to see you right away.’

What?

Wait, does he mean-

You hurry to grab your phone and iPad, wiping your face as best as you could and going out of your room. You find Minhyuk and Kihyun using the Xbox in the lounge, so you quietly take a seat near them, greeting them and opening up your iPad without another word.

“[Name]-ah, why do you look so weird?”

“Yah, Minhyuk, how can you say something so rude?!”

You shake your head and give a weak smile at the two, opening up your notepad and leaning against the couch.

A moment passes by, and Minhyuk moves closer to you on the couch, so close that you actually move a little back as well.

“What?”

“I finished my game with Kihyunnie. So. Why? Why do you look so sad? Did Hyungwonie hurt you?”

Now, you’ve been doing a good job of not crying since you got out of the room, but seeing Minhyuk’s worried face and then remembering Hyungwon’s words - along with Minhyuk hitting a bullseye right away… All of that combine together and it makes you start to cry again.

“Wha? Hey?!” Minhyuk looks very startled, and he usually never looks surprised like he doesn’t know what to do, but today he looks like he’s at a dead end, and you allow him to grab your hand and tell Kihyun he’ll be right back, before he hurries to drag you over to the other end of the lounge near the vending machines.

“Yah, what is going on with you lately? Hyungwon really said something mean to you, didn’t he? Sheesh. Acting like he’s in love with you and then making you cry like this? I didn’t expect him out of everyone to behave this way.”

The more Minhyuk spoke, the worse you felt, and you’re barely able to ask him if he could be kind enough to leave you alone for a second when you hear a familiar voice calling your name.

“[Name]-ah…. Minhyuk-ah?!”

You and Minhyuk glance up to see Hyungwon approaching you, and you hurry to take your hand away from Minhyuk’s clutch.

Really, Hyungwon couldn’t have caught a worse timing.

Minhyuk shoots you a sad look, then gets up from his seat, goes to say something to Kihyun, then the two of them leave while Kihyun glances at you with a worried look on his face. You can’t get yourself to look at Hyungwon, so you’re looking at your hands, fingers fumbling while Hyungwon stands in his spot in front of you, not saying a single word.

More tears fall down your face when you remember Minhyuk’s words - and how wrong was he to assume the worst from the sweetest person you know, and it pains your heart because you knew if you looked in his eyes, you wouldn’t be able to stop crying.

“Why?”

Hyungwon says a single word, and honestly, that was the only thing you didn’t have an answer for.

Why were you crying?

You didn’t know.

Why can’t you look at Hyungwon?

You had no clue.

Why did Minhyuk know right away?

That too, you didn’t know at all.

Why can’t you answer him?

You had no reason.

So instead, you find tears streaming down your face, and you wish you could leave, but you felt like you owed Hyungwon at least this much, to hear what he had to say even if you felt like something was cutting through your heart.

“Stand up.”

It’s the first time you’ve heard him ask you to do something in that voice, an angry, impatient voice you’ve never imagined you’d ever be on the receiving end for.

“[Name]-ah.”

You hum in response, eyes on the ground. Hyungwon lets out an exhale and you can feel your hands trembling because it’s while you’re looking at his shoes with an aching heart, that you realize something you’ve been wishing so hard was not true.

You were in love with Chae Hyungwon.

Out of completely nowhere, so naturally.... You were so madly in love with Chae Hyungwon; so much that looking at him now would be too much to take, now.

“You heard everything I said, didn’t you?”

Now, that’s something you didn’t expect to hear from him. He had sounded so worried and embarrassed on the phone so you didn’t think he would have any suspicious, but here he was, showing you that he certainly did.

It makes you look up at his face for the first time today, and it pains your heart.

It paints your heart, because he’s wearing clothes with a lot of creases - something he’s been wearing to sleep, and he has on a beanie that covers most of his messy-looking hair, and he’s looking at you with puffy eyes and a frown that hurts so much to look at.

You couldn’t bear to look at him anymore so you shake your head in response. Hyungwon looks visibly disappointed, like he knew right away that you were lying. You think he has something more he wants to say, because his lips part a little… And then, he lets out a sigh and shakes his head as well.

“If you are this burdened by how I feel, then…” Hyungwon’s voice trails off, taking a step back and then turning around. You watch the way he walks out of the lounge without a word, and if you felt like you’d never been more hurt before, you were completely wrong, because nothing pained your heart more than watching the male leave like that, as if he had so much to say and couldn’t…. Just like how you felt while you sink back on the couch and cry your heart out.

And from that day onwards, Hyungwon doesn’t call you again.

-----

#hyungwon #chaehyungwon #monsta x #monsta x hyungwon #fluff #slowburn #pls help i love hyungwon so much

38 notes · View notes

ventura-starlight · 4 years

Text

𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝑻𝒆𝒍𝒍

A/N: So hehe hello to the people of Tumblr. Remember when I said I was going to write stuff? Yeah me neither. Anyways sorry for not writing like I said I would. I’m taking a little break from TLTNH so I can work on something else. This is an idea I had based on a post where a serial killer and a writer are dating. I have it reblogged on my dash if you want to look at it. As I am a true crime fanatic I kinda loved the idea. I couldn’t bring myself to write this for Draco or people I have written for before so I asked some friends and family and we kind of decided Neville Longbottom would be an interesting serial killer. But then I remembered how sweet he was and I couldn’t do it. So here we are with my original baby Loki! Only a few people may remember when I wrote for him in like….October. It’s been a while but I do remember reading a fan fiction based on this a while back and if you can let me know who they are I would really appreciate it! I hope you enjoy this and please give me some feedback!

Warnings: murder...duh but not graphic really, some crazy murderer talk, maybe like a few bad words but like….they aren’t too bad, andddd I think that’s it

Pairing: Serial Killer!Loki x Author! Reader

Word count: 1,232 (I’m so freaking proud!)

Loki’s POV

Today was an interesting day. It had been a while since I found her in a coffee shop. She looked young, probably 20 maybe 21. This day was a nice one and perfect for another “little accident” as I call them. When she walked home I followed her from a distance until she got to her house. The day seemed to drag on as I waited for a good time. It was probably 1:13 in the morning when I walked into her apartment. It was small, not surprising for living in New York. I tiptoed into her room and found her asleep soundly. Her chestnut hair flowed on her pillow and for a moment I felt bad for her. Of course, that only lasted for a short period of time. I grabbed one of her pillows that was discarded on the floor and began to press it on her face. I had only tried this method once before, wanted to see if I could do it better this time. She struggled of course but she wasn’t quite strong enough to overpower me. After a while her body stilled and I checked her pulse…dead. I set the pillow back where it was and began the trek home.

When I got home to my apartment I was honestly exhausted. I grabbed a bottle of Merlot off of one of the shelves in my kitchen. I poured a glass and sat it on the island as I got a book I had been reading. I had discovered this writer, Y/N L/N, about 3 weeks ago and I couldn’t stop reading their novels. Now as I kill for sport I have never loved murder mystery and crime novels because they were never realistic. But this author...wow. It’s like they just know what it’s like to see the light drain out of someone’s eyes. I was reading until the sun came up and I decided I should get ready for work. Being a detective and being a murderer is an interesting combination, to say the least. Sometimes I cover my victim’s cases and although it may be sick I get an overwhelming sense of pride. To see my work investigated. And as I got finished getting ready for work my associate Natasha Romanov informed me of a new case we would look at today. A young woman found dead by her boyfriend. When the cops arrived they discovered that she had been suffocated. And once again I go to work and start a new day.

Your POV

I was stuck. Absolutely stuck. I can only come up with so many murders for my stories before they get repetitive. My books were getting more attention nationally and my fans wanted more. I was so stuck and had no clue what to do. As I finished the eighth cup of coffee that week (it was Tuesday) I decided to watch the news. Once again the breaking news was a murder. This one was slightly suspicious. “Woman killed by suffocation and discovered by boyfriend.”....I think the boyfriend did it. Well, at least that is what seems most likely. It could have been an intruder but damn that dude must be good to not leave a trace of being there at all. It was a tricky one indeed but I had to get back to work.

I finally got dressed and packed my bag with my computer deciding to walk down to a cafe down the street. I had only been there a few times but it was cozy. It had many comfy couches that littered the wooden and industrial style of the building. I loved the pastries too and whenever I wrote there I just felt like it helped me type the words quicker (okay but I need this place lol). I walked in and got my usual coffee order and a strawberry danish and went to sit in my usual place in the back of the shop. I parked my butt on the comfy leather couch and began brainstorming some ideas for my writing.

Loki’s POV

I walked by a cafe on my way home feeling terribly exhausted. Sometimes it is just hard to pretend that you didn’t kill the person you are trying to find justice for, but I guess it’s all in a day’s work. I walked into the warm cafe around 7 o’clock. After I ordered a drink I noticed a striking young woman in the sitting typing away on her laptop. She was gorgeous with Y/H/L, Y/H/C hair, and absolutely stunning eyes. Although I see a lot of very pretty people this one is different, I just couldn’t look away from her. She must have felt my eyes practically burning holes into her skull because she looked up and we made eye contact. She smiled and blushed as she looked back at her computer. I felt a light heat dust my face as I chuckled softly. I walked over and sat near her. She looked up again as I began to introduce myself.

“Hello there, I am sorry if this is a tad odd but I just saw you and I couldn’t look away.” she giggled softly as I continued, “Anyways my name is Loki.” I reached out my hand to shake hers she smiled and shook mine. Her hands were so soft and lovely.

“My name is Y/N, it’s nice to meet you Loki.” I gently said her name and it clicked. This beautiful woman wasn’t just that but she was the author that I loved. I tried to remain calm and asked what she was working on. “Oh uh...it’s a book I’m writing.” She stumbled her cheeks turning a tad bit pinker. She was absolutely adorable. “I have written some novels in the past and I am working on the next one currently.” I could hardly take it anymore and had to say something.

“So that’s where I know you from.” I began as her light blush turned a tad bit more crimson. “I love your writing by the way. It’s so real and interesting. I used to hate crime novels until I read yours.” She laughed and quietly thanked me. We sat in comfortable silence for a moment when I decided to ask for her number.

“Oh! O-of course!” She handed me a piece of paper with her number scribbled on it.

“I would like to see you again if possible Y/N” She simply nodded in agreement. A quiet one I think. “I will talk to you soon darling” and with that, I walked out of the cafe waving in a small goodbye to the sweet author.

Your POV

My cheeks were still warm when Loki waved goodbye to me. I am not sure what just happened. A very attractive guy who also likes my novels wants to see me. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. If I was standing I am pretty sure my legs would’ve given out. Maybe he would catch me...no stop it. I had made some progress at that point and it was getting late so I went home thinking of the near-stranger Loki. What would happen from here? A few dates? Or would this be something more? I’m getting terribly ahead of myself here. I guess only time will tell.

𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒉, 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒍𝒍

@70swonderpoisonstark @anotheronebitestheskye @brianmydear @casuallywriting @fantasticnewtimagines @silversslytherin @ashtonsbabe706 @hunter-with-a-tardis @ghullehh @perrythefrickinplatypus @living-through-the-fictional @fire-in-her-veinz @regalillegal @a-hopeless-fan

🥀~🥀~🥀~🥀~🥀~🥀~🥀~🥀~🥀~🥀~🥀~🥀~

#loki fanfic #loki #loki x reader #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #Time Will Tell #TWT #wowowowo i wrote guys!!!!

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luvdsc · 4 years

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miss cat!!!! you're the absolute cutest!!!!!!!! im so not over ittttt. also im really sorry for this, since i know you made a really long post about this,,,,but what are some tips you'd give to someone studying for their finals? or just some study tips you use in general? with relations to not getting distracted and memory? thank you do much 🌷

🥺🥺💘 omg honey bee!!!!!! you are the absolute cutest!!!!!! but really, thank you so so soooo much, lovebug 🤧💗 and omg it’s ok, you don’t have to apologize! i have a hard time concentrating and getting distracted, but this is what worked for me when i studied! i listed some new tips and compiled some answers from my previous asks as well under the cut. hopefully, these will be helpful for you, sweetpea 💐 also, best of luck with your finals and studying! 💛

start studying early — cram studying is honestly the worst, and you’ll feel overwhelmed as you try to fit as much test material in your brain as possible the night before. count how many chapters you’ll be tested on. for example, if there’s seven chapters, then start studying eight days before your exam. focus on one chapter a day, set aside 1-3 hours for this chapter, do the practice problems, review the homework problems your teacher assigned, and take handwritten notes on the important parts or things you have trouble remembering. personally, it’s easier for me to concentrate on one chapter a day. the eighth day (aka the day before the test) is for reviewing all your compiled notes and doing one or two practice problems from each chapter. i know this sounds really tedious and boring, but it definitely helped me tackle a big exam in a calm and steady pace without having a mental breakdown the night before the test.

take handwritten notes — you remember information better when you handwrite notes as opposed to typing them up. you’re also less likely to get distracted and browse the internet on your laptop if you put it away and use an old fashioned notebook to take notes in class.

rewrite your notes — this is the best method of memorization for me personally. i like to rewrite my notes or key points when i’m studying because it helps me memorize information better as opposed to just reading over my notes.

don’t multitask — multitasking divides your attention up and only makes you distracted. it’s so much harder to memorize things when you’re focusing on a billion things at once. focus on one task at a time.

teach someone else what you learn — this is kind of silly, but if my roommate or friends weren’t around, i would explain terminology or class material to my stuffed animals. it really does help though! when you recite information you know out loud, it helps you memorize and soon enough, you won’t even need to look at your notes to recite them!

use quizlet — when i have a ton of vocabulary or terms i need to memorize, quizlet.com is my go-to! this is the only time i prefer using the computer to study as opposed to handwritten notes. i type up all the words on there and spend time playing the fun vocab games they have, and it’s not as tedious or boring as just straight up reading notecards and memorizing the words.

go backwards with studying — if your test information builds up on material you learned from previous chapters, then disregard this tip. however, if each chapter is focused on a different topic, then study the first chapter you learned in this class first and then the second chapter and so on. this is because you’ve probably forgotten the material from these chapters since you learned them a while back and will probably need more time to study them. on the other hand, the later chapters that you just learned last week are still fresh in your mind, so you can easily review those chapters later using less time.

take breaks — i have a hard time concentrating for long periods of time, so i take a ten minute break after every hour of studying. i stand up, do some stretches, go eat some fruit, walk around for a bit, and then sit down and study for another hour. if i’m too antsy, then i take a five minute break after every thirty minutes!

make a list of your goals — studies have shown that students who have a list of goals and write down their goals are more likely to accomplish them (i had to research this and write a paper about this for my engineering class). your goal can simply be to pass a class. write that down and put it somewhere you can see it everyday, like on the wall in front of your desk.

make a schedule and stick to it — this is very important. designate certain times to each subject and stick. to. the. schedule. once again, studies have shown that people are more likely to study if they have a schedule written down and placed somewhere they can see it and be reminded of it. having a planner is always useful!

find a quiet space to study with no distractions — study somewhere away from other people. keep the space simple and free from distractions. for example, hide any clocks, your phone, etc. try not to use your computer/laptop either if you can.

prepare all your material beforehand — make sure you have all the materials you need with you, so you won’t find excuses to get up and look for things and stop studying. check that you have all the pens, pencils, papers, highlighters, etc. you need beforehand.

wear comfy, plain clothes — this is actually important because if you keep fidgeting around in uncomfortable clothes or playing with sequins on your shirt or whatever, you keep getting distracted.

make up tricks to memorize your material easily — make rhymes, song parodies, alliteration tricks, mnemonic devices, etc. or associate terms you need to memorize with something you like to help you memorize them easier (ex: PEMDAS).

make a music playlist — this is based on personal preference though; some people study better in silence. i study much better with some sort of music playing in the background. don’t choose music with a ton of singing or a lot of instruments playing at once. studies show that classical music is best for studying! make a nice playlist, so you won’t be distracted and have to keep skipping songs to find a good one.

#asks #anonymous

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ericsonclan · 4 years

Text

Break Time

Summary: Minnie struggles to get through her research paper. Renata tries to help but will she be a motivation or a distraction?

Read on A03:

Minnie fucking hated research papers. Swearing internally, she adjusted the formatting on one of her quotes. Why did stuff like formatting matter? And why were there so many rules? She could feel her mind slowly melting inside her skull, but she couldn’t stop now. This was due tomorrow, and her grade couldn’t afford to take the hit of not turning this in on time.

Renata giggled at something she’d seen on her phone, shifting in Minnie’s lap. She’d decided to sit with Minnie for “moral support” and ended up sitting on her instead, facing the opposite direction with her legs dangling on either side of the chair. Minnie did appreciate her presence. Having the weight and warmth of her girlfriend in her arms was centering and it was nice to spend some time together even if it had to be spent on homework. It was also distracting though, having her so close. The spicy smell of her perfume permeated Minnie’s nostrils and every time she giggled Minnie felt a jolt of excitement run through her.

One of Minnie’s hands drifted downwards, moving ever so subtly to cup Renata’s butt. She flinched when Renata’s hand came down to lightly smack it away.

“Ah ah ah,” Renata tutted. “You told me not to distract you and I’m a woman of my word,”

“Renaaaata,” Minnie whined, burying her head against her girlfriend’s chest. “This is taking forever. I’m never going to finish!”

“Yes you are!” Renata lightly stroked the back of Minnie’s head. “You’ve gotta believe in yourself, like I believe in you!”

“You make it sound so easy,” Minnie mumbled. “How do you write your papers so quickly?”

Renata shrugged. “Usually it just comes to me and I just spit my thoughts out on the paper all at once. Sometimes I need something to motivate myself though. Ooh!” She took Minnie’s face in her hands, waggling a brow suggestively. “How ‘bout we make a game of it? For each page of your paper you finish, I’ll remove another piece of clothing,”

“Please don’t,” a voice came from the top left bunk of their dorm room. Sophie was trying to sleep up there after turning in one of her biggest art final projects.

Minnie winced in embarrassment. “Sorry, Sophie!”

“We’ll keep it PG, I promise!” Renata called up towards the motionless lump. She turned back to face Minnie. “Alright, so no stripping. How about this? I’ll set an alarm on my phone to ring after fifteen minutes and then you’ll earn a five-minute break where we can do whatever you want… as long as it’s over the clothes stuff,”

A groan emitted from Sophie, but they both ignored it.

“Deal,” Minnie agreed, her eyes determined.

“Then get to work!” Renata dramatically pressed the button to start the timer before leaning forward to return to her phone.

Minnie gave her utmost effort to the paper. It didn’t have to be perfect, it just had to be complete. It was like Sophie kept telling her: C’s get degrees. She couldn’t let herself get burnt out on this when there was so much else to do this week. Besides, she wanted to make sure to have enough energy to actually enjoy the times that she’d spend doing fun things with friends. It felt impossible to balance a sports scholarship, her grades, her health and a social life all at once, but she’d find a way. She wasn’t giving up.

Renata’s hair scrunchie was tickling her. It was one of her girlfriend’s favorites, decorated with a bunch of those squiggly worm toys with googly eyes you could buy at any drug store. Minnie leaned towards the sensation, enjoying the way the fluffy creatures brushed against her cheek. Renata hummed appreciatively. Suddenly she planted a kiss on the back of Minnie’s neck that caused her to visibly shiver in response.

“Sorry!” Renata exclaimed, her head pulling farther away from Minnie’s. “I’m distracting you again,”

“No, it’s fine. I’m through one page already,” Well, half a page considering she was part way done with it when the timer started.

She could hear Renata clapping behind her, making an awkward thumping sound since she still held her phone within her hand. “Way to go, Minnie! How many more pages?”

“Three,”

“You can do it! Kick that paper’s ass!”

Minnie smiled appreciatively as her fingers continued to fly over the keyboard. She knew what she intended to say here, she just had to get it out.

“Ten minutes!” Renata announced excitedly.

Minnie’s heart thumped within her chest at the thought of the moment when the time limit was up. Sure it was only five minutes, but Renata had proven time and time again that she could accomplish much more than expected. If she could actually get these three pages done, then she could go to bed with enough energy to cuddle with her girlfriend for a while before sleep overtook her. That was enough of a motivator in itself to keep her on task.

The minutes dragged on in silence as Minnie continued to work, Renata being sure to keep quiet as the steady rhythm of typing continued. There was another page done. That had gone quicker than expected. Two more to go.

“Five minutes,” Renata’s voice had an excited lilt to it.

Damn, that wasn’t going to be enough time to finish. Not that she should have expected it to be, but still she’d gotten her hopes up. Never mind. She was going to get as far as she possibly could then return to the paper rejuvenated from her break and whip the rest out. As the seconds counted down, Minnie could tell that Renata was just as excited as she was. As much as she tried to stay still, Renata was bouncing just the slightest bit in anticipation, her hips moving in a way that was driving Minnie insane. Hopefully the things she was typing were still coherent. She couldn’t even tell anymore. But this paper would be finished on time and that was all that mattered.

The alarm went off on Renata’s phone with a perky ding before it was immediately shut off, the phone tossed to the side in order to give Renata the use of both hands. “Break time!” she chirped before wrapping both her arms around Minnie’s neck and beginning to pepper her face with kisses. Minnie couldn’t help but giggle as the affection was lavished on her. Both her hands travelled downwards to cup Renata’s butt like she’d been wanting to for the past hour. A giggle rumbled through Renata’s own throat as she nuzzled against Minnie’s neck, her kisses becoming slower and more intentional.

“I’m so happy, Min,” she murmured. “So happy I found you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,”

Minnie felt an embarrassed warmth glowing within her heart. Renata was always so generous with her praise. She wished she could be as vocal that easily. Instead her arms slid up under her girlfriend’s shirt, fingers playing along her spine.

“Over the clothes,” Renata whispered in her ear in a way that let Minnie know she too wished that wasn’t the case. Renata’s hands came up to play with her hair, running through the longer portion while caressing the shaved side of her scalp. Everything was lost to them in the tender warmth of each other’s embrace.

The timer rang, signaling that the break was over. Both girls groaned in annoyance. Minnie’s eyes returned to her paper. Only a page and a half to go. She could do this. Lacing her hands under Renata’s thighs, she lifted her girlfriend off of her, not heeding her indignant squeak.

“Sorry, Ren. Give me ten more minutes, OK? Fifteen tops,”

“OK,” Renata pouted, her lower lip sticking out childishly. “I’ll start getting ready for bed,”

Minnie continued to expand her paper, desperately trying to get her final thoughts out as quickly as possible. In the background she could hear Renata shuffling things around as she changed and got her toiletries together. The door opened and closed, signaling that she had gone to brush her teeth. Fuck, that reminded her. When was the last time she brushed her own teeth? Minnie ran her tongue along her top row of teeth, practically wincing at the layer of grime she felt on them. Tomorrow morning.

She was down to the last two paragraphs. Minnie could feel her head heating up as she strove to concentrate all her efforts into finishing. One paragraph left. Three sentences. Two. One. The paper was finished! Minnie opened up a browser, entering her password for Turnitin.com and submitting the paper. It was done. She was free! And at only… 1:38 AM. Minnie let out a long groan, a mixture of relief and despair. She had practice at 6 AM tomorrow.

“Yay, you finished!” Excited clapping could be heard behind her. Minnie turned to see her girlfriend in her Ericson University t-shirt and Spongebob shorts, all ready for bed.

“Yeah,” Minnie offered a weak smile. “I did,”

“Bedtime!” Renata immediately hit the light, climbing the rungs of the ladder to be the first into bed. Minnie tiredly maneuvered out of her bra, dumping it on the floor. She was already in a t-shirt and sweats. That was comfy enough for bed. Climbing up beside her girlfriend to join her, Minnie lay down next to Renata, her legs stretching to the very end of the bed. Renata contentedly wrapped herself around Minnie’s torso, arms and legs squeezing tightly as if she was some sort of koala and Minnie the branch she clung to. Minnie chuckled. She reached out into the darkness, fingers playing with Renata’s hair. Of course she’d forgotten to take out her bun. Minnie deftly untangled the scrunchie from her hair, tossing it toward the floor of their room.

Renata was so warm against her, so snuggly. Minnie had hoped to stay up a bit longer to enjoy the cuddling, but she could tell it wouldn’t be long till she was asleep. A soft whistling emanated from Renata, signaling she had beat Minnie to the punch and already fallen asleep. She always had to be first. Pressing a kiss to her girlfriend’s forehead, Minnie let her eyes close, her exhaustion seeping deep into her bones. She thought back to her late nights last year, back when she was strung out and anxious as she lay in the dark alone. How much things had changed. She was glad. With that final thought, Minnie’s mind drifted into intangible dreams.

#fanfic #twdg minata #twdg minnie #twdg sophie #twdg renata #twdg

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charlies-crashcourses · 5 years

Text

Charlie’s College Crash Course #1: How to write a 10-page paper in 1 day

Background info first: I’m in the last year of my English undergrad degree and I’ve had to write at least 3 dozen 10+ page papers in that time. That being said, I’ve never once started writing a paper more than a few days in advance, and 9 times out of 10 I go for one day only. Honestly, this should be considered my trademark at this point because after all my high school AP courses and my English degree, it’s been going on 7 years of 1 day papers.

and so, dear friends, I would like to pass on this skill to you all. I should mention, none of this will work if you’re not already pretty solid on paper writing, i.e. if you only ever get C’s on your papers now this isn’t magically going to get you up to an A with one day. This is just to streamline the process, allowing for more time for other things or, more commonly, allowing you to not freak the fuck out when you realize the deadline is tonight at midnight and you’ve procrastinated all month on the final paper for your class.

(I should also mention that I’m currently procrastinating a 2.5k word paper due tomorrow night that I’ve only read one of two books for, so. There’s that.)

Anyway, without further ado, here we fucking go:

Step 1: Prep for the Day

this is going to be a marathon, not a sprint, so make sure you prep the day accordingly. Ideally, you’d wake up before noon, make sure there’s nothing else planned for the day, and tell your roommates/parents to leave you alone until you officially reemerge at midnight (or, if you’re in college and have a 24 hr library, try going there. Mine has closed off study rooms that I can chill in, but if you’rs doesn’t just find a relatively comfy quiet spot). If you’re at home, pick one spot, clear it off super quick, grab some snacks and energy drinks, make sure you have everything charged and ready to go. I don’t recommend cafes or the like simply because there’s lots of distractions and also those places close before midnight, so you can’t stay there the entire time and therefor waste time moving halfway through.

Also, I would recommend taking a break between all the steps after this one. Don’t let the break take too long, but just long enough to walk the block, or grab another snack, or do some stretches, or watch a ten minute video, something like that. I personally never break at a natural stopping point, because then I’ll never get back to it, but how you break is up to you.

Step 2: Preliminary Research

now normally I do some preliminary research beforehand. Basically looking into the topic, figuring out generally what resources would be best, etc. That can usually be done in five to ten minute bursts throughout the week or so before the due date, whenever the topic comes to mind.

But then again, I’ve also procrastinated that until the very end as well, so. Usually all that takes if you go for the day of is some quick google scholar searches, or if you have access to the MLA database that works as well. Or, if you’re more like me, you could just deep dive on wikipedia and check out what relevant facts pertain to what numbers in the bibliography, then go ahead and cite those wherever possible.

Basically, get a good base knowledge of the big facts. This step should be quick and dirty. For instance, for my paper my sophomore year on Robespierre (14 pages written in a record 6 hours) I combed through his wiki, some websites on the French Revolution, and watched the Crash Course youtbue video on the subject. The rest of the research was done after I did my first outline.

Step 3: Outline #1

This is just a basic “What the fuck am I talking about” outline. It can be bullet points, numbers, stream of consciousness, i don’t care as long as it works for you.

For the Robespierre paper, my first outline was something to the effect of: -born poor -school -elected to govt -took over govt -killed people -got killed

and that was it. It’s like, before you build a house you have to clear off the right amount of land, make sure there’s nothing in your way, and give yourself a vague area in which to build. Super simple stuff.

I did get some advice, from somewhere I can’t remember, that a paragraph is basically equal to half a page, and so (excluding one page length for your intro + conclusion) you should have around two paragraphs or ideas per page. So my outline above would need some more points, there, to keep me on track for my page count. I eventually added a whole paragraph about how he was chosen to read for a visiting King Louis at his school and was then ignored which made him hate the monarchy, and another about what happened after he died what with the government in shambles, etc etc. So two bullet points per page should do it.

Step 4: More Research

This is where you get a little more in depth. Look at your bullet points and learn everything you need to about them.

For my first bullet, I found stuff like: “Robespierre was born in France in 1758 as Maximilien François Marie Isidore de Robespierre (the third of this name), to a lawyer and the daughter of a brewer, he had two siblings, and he could read by age eight. he also loved pigeons and started a lifelong feud with his sister over one that he gave her that she let die."

and then I would move on to the next bullet point, and so on and so forth, filling in the gaps. Make sure to keep track of where your info comes from, as well. It doesn’t have to be a full citation, but just the hyperlink after the fact is going to save you so much time, i promise

Pro Tip: don’t throw out anything as irrelevant just yet. Just gather all the facts, no judging. Trust me on this.

Step 5: Better Outline

this is where you start to have fun with it. I would like to remind you that no one, unless you have some crazy micromanaging professor, sees your outlines. This is for you and you only, so write it in whatever way makes sense to you. It can be colorful and fun and whatever you need it to be.

I actually took screenshots of my outline for that robespierre paper (hence why i chose that one as an example) so here’s a look at what I do:

so, really, honestly, as shitty as you need this to be, or as many jokes, or whatever works for you my dude. Explain it like you would if it were a story you were telling, not a biographical/argumentative paper. Get informal with it.

Step 6: Write the Damn Thing

Okay to now that you did the research and wrote your fun outlines and all that, all you have to do now is write it! I tend to do this in the same doc as I do my outline, but starting again from the top so I can see what I need to add next right under where I’m typing, then delete it once I’ve covered the material.

If you did your outline well, this is really just cleaning that up so it’s “school appropriate” and “not an affront to people’s eyes and sensibilities” or whatever. At this point, it should go super quick, maybe 2 hours max to finish up writing what you need to write, here.

Pro Tip: do your citations as you go. Better yet, make your bibliography first so that A its already done and B you know what your in text cites will be from the start so that you don’t have to add them in later. If you kept your hyperlinks next to your research, just open up citationmachine and get those cites, then replace the links in your outline with the actual citations so it’s easier to line them up with in text cites while you go

Step 7: Fudging

oh, you thought we were done after writing the paper? nah fam. Chances are, you didn’t hit the page count you wanted to, you’re probably around 1 full page short, unless you love long sentences. This is where my pro tip from all the way back on step 4 comes in.

First, before you do anything drastic, make sure your formatting is correct. If your prof wants the big long “name, date, class, assignment, etc” in the top left then that adds a lot of length. Fonts will also change your page length, and so will footnotes and citations.

If you did it right and saved all the less relevant details, congratulations! Just sprinkle a few of those in there and you’re magically at your page count. This is the only reason I included the pigeon story in my paper (and this post), because I was about 3/4 of a page short of passably saying I got to 14.

If you didn’t save those inane details, don’t go looking for them now. Trust me, it’s much more pain than it’s worth. Your best bet, then, would be to either A. Add one more point if you can think one up, B. do some more research for relevant details to add in, or C. expand on the details you already have with more examples or effects or whatever applies.

do not, i repeat do NOT, just try and expand the words you use, like changing “to” into “in order to” or whatever those deflate your phrases charts tell you Not to do. They tell you not to for a reason. 1. it sounds stupid adding them in after the fact, and 2. your professor absolutely 100% will know and will mark you down if you do that in excess. Inflated phrase charts like that are well known by professors, and also adding them in after the fact won’t fit in at all with the voice that the rest of your paper was written in, so it’ll stand out like a sore thumb. just don’t do it unless it’s your last possible “i have ten minutes to turn this in” effort.

Step 8: Celebrate!!

And that’s it! If you did it right, this whole process should have taken you around the equivalent of 1 hour per page you had to write or so, so in a regular twelve hour day you’ve got time to take breaks and eat and all that shit. Go turn it in and celebrate your victory!

#study tips #adhd studying #paper writing #don't procrastinate kids #crash course #charlie's college crash course

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sebthesnipe · 4 years

Text

The Dreamer by Whatwashernameagin an Analysis? Part 4

All portions:

Chapter 1: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Chapter 2: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

The Dreamer

@whatwashernameagain

It is finally here… sorry I took so long. Life has been… hectic to say the least.

Reminder: Spoilers under cut!

So, if you remember correctly (I know its been awhile), we left off just before the cut to Roman and Logan’s first meeting. The scene starts off with rain… but Eva’s use of descriptors is always so pure and beautiful I can’t resist quoting it here. “Rain was beating against the window in heavy sheets of freezing water coming down hard on the city. The air felt alive with crackling currents of lightning and rumbling thunder almost constantly growling like an ancient, rumbling animal. It was a particularly nasty day, perfect for what the media preposterously called’ villainy’, which [Logan] did not intend to be involved in today. At all” (Whatwashernameagain).

*rubs hands together deliciously* Oh the imagery….

So! Here we go! First off, rain is symbolic in a lot of different literature styles to represent a wide variety of things. In dreams, water can represent a number of things depending on the source. Rivers can symbolize emotions, something changing, or the need to change. Rain tends to reveal emotions as well, usually strong feelings, depression or despair… even rejection, anger, grief. Thunder accompanying rain can be a warning sign that you are not paying close enough attention to someone’s needs, or possibly your own. Or it can simply be used to bring your attention to something important in life. Generally dreaming about a heavy rain storm such as this would indicate something unfortunate or a problematic event that could cause you a lot of turmoil in the near future; an incoming loss or losses.

You may think I’m getting off topic but I’m really not. Sure, Logan isn’t dreaming… But Eva is! What is a story but a daydream written down on a piece of paper (or in this case typed up on a blog)? According to Freud (yes, we’re gong back to Psychoanalysis Theory in Literature); dreams are our subconscious trying to warn/tell us about ourselves, even if we don’t want to hear it (Rivkin, Julie). In this case, the cold sheets of rain are a foreshadow of what is to come; the pain and turmoil that will no doubt will be dropped into our laps… especially Logan’s lap. The change/character development that Logan is about to go through... What could this be foreshadowing? Well… Eva writes that the freezing water was coming down hard on the city…. Not just Logan… So… What ever is about to happen is about to affect everyone… It is not an isolated incident... whatever/whoever is about to happen is important to the city/world, not just Logan. And the only person that could really have that much reach besides Logan himself: The Dreamer; everyone’s hero… The shining hope that spreads warmth where ever he goes… Whatever is about to happen… ain’t going to be pretty… (Well, aside from Roman himself… He’s pretty no matter what but you get what I’m saying).

Secondly, Eva and her similes are always fantastic: “rumbling thunder almost constantly growling like an ancient, rumbling animal” (Whatwashernameagain). The imagery, itself causes the reader to picture some incorporeal creature hidden behind the clouds, growling and hissing at the world below. The dark feeling pulling the foreshadowing blanket closer around the reader, almost suffocatingly so.

Eva switches back to her usual humorous self just as easily as ever, making fun of the media and their reference to ‘villainy’ and pointing out that Logan had no intentions of such things… at least not with the weather as it was… Why is that so amusing? Well, here is a man who is willing to kill, topple multi-million companies, go toe to toe with a superhero… sitting at home in his jammies and sipping tea… It is adorably hilarious! It also humanizes Logan. His usual cold harsh calculating demeanor is stripped away. We see, perhaps for the first time, the /real/ Logan; just relaxing at home. Its... nice... comforting...

TOO BAD ITS ALL ABOUT TO BE RUINED!!!!

Within the next para my suspicions are confirmed. “Since Logan was, per definitionem, a human, it should not be surprising that he was unwinding at home at a day such as this. In a fluffy sweater falling over his hands and hips, wool socks pulled over the hem of his sweatpants, curled up with a mug of cocoa in a nest of pillows at his window” (Whatwashernameagain). Granted I already knew this was coming because I’ve read it, but it doesn’t make the imagery of this big bad villain in an oversized sweater any less adorable. If you aren’t aware of this already… I love Logan so much T.T. It doesn’t help that Eva adds to the adorable image with an italicized ‘No one must ever know.’ I’d bet a certain amount of money that Remy has feeds of Logan lounging around in his comfy wear and cocoa watching Disney movies (to criticize how illogical certain actions are both physically and mentally, of course… no other reasons… at all) that he keeps in a secure folder for whenever he needs a pick me up and shows them to Logan whenever he just wants to mess with the villain. But the italicized thought lends to the fact that once again Logan is no doubt ashamed of his humanity and wishes to keep it hidden, away from the world... away from himself. Sure its mostly for image purposes but in the end, he is not someone who takes to his human side lightly.

Going back to the story… A knock at the door?! -gasp- Who could it be?! Once again, I love Eva’s imagery; “He barely heard the knock on his door over the growling akin to boulders sliding against each other and the pitter-patter against his window” (Whatwashernameagain). She doesn’t stretch so far to make the reader work to see the image she’s painting but just far enough that they are unique yet manageable. I’m not going to go back into the psychoanalysis for the rain but I will say that bringing it up here is a fantastic way to connect the foreshadowing in the first paragraph I’ve mentioned to the one we are on currently, bringing us full circle and signaling that whatever turmoil is meant for Logan begins here. It is also nice because it allows the mood to change so easily from humor to seriousness once more… Though… discovering Remus is an ACTUAL lizard made me squeal a bit. That was such a sweet and adorable nod to the character that I can’t even be upset that he’s not a bigger part of the story… He’s a freaking lizard!!! I love it!!!!

We see Logan freeze and follow his train of thought as he approaches the door cautiously. We see apart of him that we’ve known is there but haven’t really experienced. Logan has been calculating and cold throughout the story, only taking risks where the benefit outweighed the danger but now… now we see his paranoia…. His isolation. He mentions that no one knew his address and even his neighbors stayed away due to his intimidation and cool manners. He calls his home a ‘fort of solitude’ (no doubt a play on Superman’s Fortress of Solitude but that’s a-whole-nother thing I’m not gonna get into), something he had cultivated carefully, and the very reason he wares the mask that he apparently finds ridiculous. But it also shows us how little he interacts with the outside world... the fact that he has no one. His only friend is a computer he created himself. It lends to the loneliness I’ve mentioned before. The lack of companionship and friends... Logan is utterly and completely alone. Its almost heartbreaking.

This is the only place he feels safe. The only place he can be himself. Sure, he doesn’t change himself too much when he is out being the Utilitarianist but… this is different. He doesn’t have to hide behind anything there. He can just sit back and relax, try not to be reminded of all that is wrong with the world. He can just be… him. Which honestly… is surprisingly difficult for most people to achieve and he has it… right there. With his comfy sweater and favorite cocoa… Except… now he has to worry about whoever is on the other side of the door, invading his only place of safety.

The symbology is here too, though most would overlook it. Logan’s home could symbolize himself, considering, in essence, a person’s home is exactly as I described: a place they could be their true selves and relax. Its so personal and private. His home which he has built to be the foundation of his work… of himself, is now being invaded by an outside source and throwing everything off balance. This outside source being The Dreamer. The catch is… this isn’t the first time this has happened… though it is the first time it physically has.

Roman has invaded Logan’s thoughts and processes long before he showed up at the villain’s door. He has thrown Logan way off, forcing him to feel things, to argue with him, to aim for things he shouldn’t want. Roman has forced Logan out of his comfort zone mentally a number of different times and for any individual that can be upsetting but for someone who is unaccustomed to regular emotions…how prides themselves in their control... it can be earthshattering. Logan who already sees a hope in Roman, a light, that he doesn’t want to want and yet does; Logan who is being betrayed by his human side, despite being driven by logic, has been invaded by a presence he never asked for… by Roman himself and the worst part is… The hero has no idea whatsoever…He’s like penicillin... A fungi Logan never wanted and yet can heal so many things if he would just let it but the risk is way too great... The chances of the fungi growing out of control and destroying everything Logan is is far too great... and now… Now, Roman is there… physically invading Logan’s sanctuary; no doubt stirring up all these unwanted feelings once more. The fear is no doubt the worst though… Logan hasn’t calculated Roman knowing who he is, where he was… He hasn’t calculated any of this. Suddenly Logan’s foundation, his safety net, his computer like calculations have failed him… Everything is crumbling with fear and its only been a microsecond. Could you possibly imagine how terrifying that could be?

With the state of terror Logan no doubt feels, it is no wonder that the villain bolts away from the door and brandishes a weapon. Its as if he’s attempting to put as much distance between them both physically and mentally as possible. This is no doubt a fight or flight type of response for Logan which is such a human reaction, driven by his fear rather than logic which no doubt annoys the man even more.

Eva goes on to describe an interaction between Logan and the Supercomputer which brings to light a bit more about Logan’s reactions and Remy’s motives. We see Logan slowly returning to his more logical demeanor, obviously beginning to gain the upper hand in his battle against his instincts. He questions Remy about how Roman managed to get to the front door as he does his best to remain calm, reminding the reader, and no doubt himself, that he was trained in a number of martial arts. Which honestly, I love the idea of seeing our precious nerd in white robes throwing punches or kicks around a room… He’s just so… adorable I love it! Remy responds with his usual sass ‘not even considering lowering his volume’, which only brings our attention back to the turmoil Logan is no doubt going through (a freezing rain storm you might say). The words about Remy’s volume and the cringe Logan offers at the thought of the door being busted in only cements the villain’s terrified state. The conversation goes on, Remy with his usual sass and Logan in his frustrated trepidation.

Remy finally admits why the hero is there and Logan stands dumbfounded at discovering that Roman is injured, hurrying back to the window to peak out and get a good look at the other man. Why would his enemy come to him? Why would Roman show up injured unless it was some sort of trap or game plan Logan hadn’t thought of... no doubt, all of these questions are running through the man’s mind.

“The Dreamer was still there, leaning against the side of the building in the middle of the freezing rain, drenched to the bone. His head was lowered as if he were close to losing consciousness” (Whatwashernameagain). There is so much to be said here… ugh… okay… first lets touch on Roman…

****CHAPTER 2 SPOILERS****

Roman is standing hunched over, the image weakness, and obviously about to pass out. This could symbolize a lot of things from the state of our planet, to the political climate in America. In Chapter 2 we learn a lot about how he was mistreated and abused but this… this is another sense of foreshadowing. Here the shining hope of the world is drenched in the rain, huddled and shivering, nothing that he is supposed to be. The symbolism alone hurts.

The symbol of hope in the world is dying. Roman is not just a man. He is THE Dreamer… Without him the world would be lightless… darkness everywhere… no one and nothing to look up to. Now, I realize that Eva probably wasn’t going for this but… I really need to because its beautiful. The Dreamer, is broken, battered and bruised, used by the people who were meant to help him, mold him to save the world, to make the world a better place. The very same people that promised him they’d achieve his dream together. What could this possibly symbolize? Well, a lot of things really… Consider this… The state of America right now… politicians promising to make America Great Again, making people believe that everything was going to get better… but then they sew hate for one another, invite discourse and rage… threaten war with other countries, all in the name of ‘the people’ leaving the country in the same state Roman currently is: Battered, bruised and thoroughly used.

If that symbol wasn’t good enough you could always look at the state of the planet… The planet providing us with everything she has, food, water, shelter… and humanity cutting down the rainforest, killing off species, polluting waters, slaughtering animals for money… don’t get me started on the sharks in china… or the elephants in Africa… I think I need to switch the subject again sorry… But it /is/ a good example… And if Roman is on the doorstep to Logan’s home… He probably has realized the fissures he’s caused in society and that Logan may be his only chance. Logan is all he has to turn to, just like the planet has no one but us to try and care for it.

Here Roman sits, bleeding out… The symbol of the people… the same people (though not all of them of course) who would see him exploited and abused, tortured and experimented on for their own gain… The symbol of hope which is dimming due to the very people he is meant to shine for… In the same sense humanity destroys the ecosystem around them and yet demands more from it. We poison our water, ourselves… the land you name it; all in the name of bettering ourselves… Roman does the same. He pushes himself to be better for the world… do better for the world… but as he does, he’s sowing the seeds for the rich, killing himself in the process… All because he was willing to give too much. His intentions are so pure and yet the results are so horrible; and the public is completely fooled. He is what can happen without change.

The analogies I used may be a bit confusing I apologize it is very late and I’m very tired, but I hope I got it across. Roman’s symbolization of both the American political climate and/or the environmental war we live in today is just so moving to me that I don’t know how to put it into words.

***END OF CHAPTER 2 SPOILERS***

Here Roman sits, on the doorstep of his archenemy the last man you’d expect him to turn to, needing help. The light is gone. There is no hope… The hope that had been there is now washed away with the rain… the only thing left is a man… a man wounded and alone… There is no Dreamer here, not right now… And without Logan there is no hope for him.

The change from Roman being Logan’s sense of hope, his source of emotions, to Logan now carrying the torch is so drastic and sudden it sends the reader reeling beautifully. Here stands a man who wanted nothing to do with any of the feelings Roman causes, is now forced to carry it all, and so suddenly… Logan is now Roman’s hope... his lifeline.. The roles have been reversed... It makes for quite the anti-hero. And Eva managed all of this with just a single sentence (“The Dreamer was still there, leaning against the side of the building in the middle of the freezing rain, drenched to the bone. His head was lowered as if he were close to losing consciousness” (Whatwashernameagain).) If that isn’t talent, then I don’t know what is.

Directly after this line, we get to see Logan’s reaction: “Utterly foregoing any logical deliberation for perhaps the first time in his life, Logan ripped the door open” (Whatwashernameagain). This is another fantastic line. Why? Because we get to see more of the real Logan that he tries to push away and pretend doesn’t exist. You see, as the Utilitarianist, Logan doesn’t think about ‘the individual’ that’s not what he’s supposed to focus on. Logan is supposed to focus on what would do the most good for the most people. He doesn’t sweat the small stuff. It is another one of those stark contrasts between he and Roman. Roman is all about the individual; taking down bad guys left and right, caring about each individual rescue. Here though… Logan has forgotten himself to his human ego once more. He has thrown his safety blanket, the very thing he defines himself, his logic, to the wind. This is another great foreshadowing tool (though I’m only guessing its foreshadowing). Logan has stripped himself of, what he feels like, is his only defining feature. Without his logic, what is Logan? He is just a man, isn’t he? Or is it possible that he is something else entirely? Something more than just a man; something less than one? I’m not talking about super heroes or supervillains. I mean identifying himself as a person. Roman has now pushed Logan to be something, or someone Logan had never considered, had never been brave enough to consider. Could it be that with Roman’s help he’ll turn into Logan 2.0. That is not to say that O.G. Logan was bad or by any means lessor but Logan 2.0… Well, he’s already learning to be the beacon of hope for Roman… and now he has thrown his logic out the window? Perhaps they will do a number on each other? Oh… eh… I mean… on each other’s personalities and ethics…. Yeah… ethics…

Getting back to the story!

Roman takes in the sight of Logan above him, a bit startled as he does so. After everything Roman’s been through that is not surprising… He also has taken quite a risk coming to the villain. He is injured and no doubt would make an easy target if Logan so chose, but the thing about Roman is hope, just as I’ve been saying (am I a broken record yet?). We’ve learned that Roman has a naive sense of positivity in everything he does… I mean… he’s named himself The Dreamer, after all… There is no reason he shouldn’t have it in this as well. Alone, wounded, and at the mercy of whoever he turns to, Roman chose Logan… The Utilitarianist, to save him; clinging to his hope that the good he has seen in this man, the man who has saved him once before with no foreseeable ulterior motive, is real. And for a moment, seeing Logan hovering over him, blade in hand, he probably doubted himself. But… the thing is… If Roman truly believed Logan would hurt him, he would fight in this instant… Roman may be injured and hopeless but from what we’ve learned about him he’s not a quitter… No, he trusts his hope… his heart… He truly believes Logan is a good man and that is cemented and proven by his reaction: “He was looking up at him like a drowned, frightened cat, caramel hair sticking to his ashen face, none of his usual latino-tan to be seen... Logan had never seen him look this beaten. His usually bright green eyes blinked up at him through rain-soaked lashes, apparently barely able to focus on him. He looked dazed” (Whatwashernameagain).

Again, Eva is wonderful with her similes ‘like a drowned, frightened cat’. It’s the use of literary devices like these that help breath life into a scene. While the reader could no doubt visualize Roman’s wounded stature, the expression is something that is a bit harder to describe so it’s the use of things like similes that really aide the author when used correctly and I truly do love the image of the big sullen eyes on Roman’s face… just beautiful.

Logan is the first to speak. What would you say in a situation like this? No one would really know until they were put into a situation like this… though I feel as if Eva grasped that really well hen Logan asks what sounds like a stupid question. He asks if Roman was drugged; not an ‘are you alright’ or ‘what happened’ because in reality most of us probably wouldn’t respond in such a manner as that if the person we thought hated us appeared on our doorstep bleeding. No, Logan asked the first thing that came to his mind, humanizing him even more. It was quite lovely; a perfect response.

“The Dreamer swallowed visibly, apparently unable to form words. His wide eyes were wet with tears – washed away before they had a chance to fall. Fear was an unfamiliar look on his attractive face, yet it was clear in the bright flashes of lightning that he was afraid. He looked up at Logan, trembling with exhaustion and pain. His features twisted as he tried to hold back a sob that seemed painful on his torso” (Whatwashernameagain).

This must be even more shocking for Logan…. Logan who doesn’t work with emotion… Logan who doesn’t socialize outside of his work, Remy, and his online source… Logan who detests the very idea of intense emotional outburst is now faced with his archenemy’s tears… Roman is crying! The Dreamer is crying! And while we realize that the superhero is broken (as does Roman if the tears are anything to go by; finding that his own dreams are shattered; he is now broken inside and out), that hope is fading, this is perhaps the first time the realization really strikes Logan. The fear in his rival’s features, the exhaustion and pain… that sob! None of these things are things Logan is accustomed to handling, none of these things are things that he is prepared to deal with especially coming from a man he admires and respects (though he’d never admit it). So, not only is the villain, no doubt terrified, but now he is no doubt concerned, filled with worry, and doubt. He has not had to comfort someone before... Medically he can no doubt handle this situation but... dealing with Roman’s emotions... Its way out of his comfort zone, especially when he’s barely able to handle his own at the moment.

Roman apologizes explaining that he didn’t know where else to turn (which honestly eliminates the idea I had that his ‘sidekick’ had figured out where Logan lived and led Roman there to be saved); reinforcing the idea that Roman’s hope is what led him to the villain. He then collapsing, Logan hurrying forward to catch the man, discarding his weapon in the process; his weapon his only real defense against the man… the only barrier between the two of them, keeping them in their rightful places: Roman as a hero, Logan as a villain. And yet… now they sit, huddled in the ran on the steps of his home, nothing to divide them. There is no logic here… no place for it. They’re on the same side now… Their own. Everything Logan has been so adamant about is gone in this moment... The lines drawn by society have disappeared.

“’Oh no no no.’ Logan muttered, carefully cradling the back of the man’s head in his palm as he examined him” (Whatwashernameagain). Logan takes such care in handling this man, the man he’s supposed to despise… the ‘thorn in his shoe’; already showing signs of the changes we will no doubt get to witness in the coming chapters. He cradles him as if he is fragile, because at the moment he is… he’s barely hanging on and Logan is going to put that big sexy brain of his to work to figure out how to avoid this. Logan lifts the larger man off the ground to carry him inside no doubt but something Eva writes catches my attention:

“[Logan] had been careful to keep his emotional distance from this man as much as he possibly could, but as he looked down at his pained, helpless face, he could not think of him as anyone but Roman” (Whatwashernameagain).

I think this is the best way she could have ended this chapter. She brings us full circle into what Logan is meant to be and what he is not. She brings to light his struggle when it comes to emotions and the desire to be rid of them… of the suppression towards them when it involves Roman. The same desire and suppression we saw at the beginning of the chapter and now the character development we see in him now. He is throwing his logic out the window to care for his only friend… though he has not quite realized that he is his only friend… We feel his desperation, his need, to save Roman… and while he carries Roman over his shoulder into safety… he carries the very hope he has yearned for… both physically and metaphorically… The hope he has never wanted to be and yet... is forced to be now...

Thank you so much for baring with me through all my sporadic and eccentric rambling. I really hope you enjoyed it! Thank you so much to Whatwashernameagain for writing such an amazing piece and reblogging my work. I love reading your reactions!

This is the end of Chapter 1. I plan on writing Chapter 2 as soon as possible, but with the holidays and finals coming up it may be a bit; so, stay tuned!

I’d love to hear from you guys so drop me a message or an ask, or even a comment!

I love you all!

Until next time!

Rivkin, Julie. Literary Theory: a Practical Introduction. Wiley-Blackwell, 2017.

“Utilitarianism.” Dictionary.com, Dictionary.com, https://www.dictionary.com/browse/utilitarianism.

Whatwashernameagain. “The Dreamer - Chapter 1.” Hello Guys Gals And Non Binary Friends, 8 Sept. 2019, https://whatwashernameagain.tumblr.com/post/187581477262/the-dreamer-chapter-1.

#The Dreamer #villain!logan #hero!Roman #Sanders sides #logince #logan sanders #roman sanders #logan/roman #roman/logan #analysis #reader response #reaction #fanfication #whatwashernameagain

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justanotherboyinblue · 4 years

Text

weird asks that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? coffee mugs! it gives me a weird satisfaction

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? chocolate bars!!

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? not a big fan of either :/

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? well i’m homeschooled so that’d be my mother the gist of it was that i don’t focus well and get distracted easily

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? oh bottles for sure cannot tell you why but the old fashioned glass bottles of like pepsi or something? Love Those

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? grunge i love it has the ‘i don’t care’ attitude basically just oversized stuff and a whole bunch of flannels

7. earbuds or headphones? headphones obviously, i’m a gamer what did you think i was gonna say

8. movies or tv shows? i tend to like movies better, but i do love myself a good tv show i think the pinnacle of tv shows done right is person of interest five seasons, i never got bored, it didn’t drag on, and it was always a good watch with good character chemistry

9. favorite smell in the summer? hmm either chlorine or beach smell because both mean i’m in the water And Ya Boi Is A Water Bitch

10. game you were best at in p.e.? i’ve never had p.e. and i think that’s my favorite thing about homeschooling

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? i normally don’t, because i wake up 11:30-noon because i was up at 3am and i need my eight hours of sleep

12. name of your favorite playlist? some fucken bOPS

13. lanyard or keyring? i’d think key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? uhhhhh literally all my favorite sweets are chocolate fuck probably cow tails

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? they all sucked and i rarely read any of them so

16. most comfortable position to sit in? either sitting on my ankle or having both legs hanging over the edge

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? do flip flops count?

18. ideal weather? like, 75-80 degrees with a cool breeze or alternatively 5-10 degrees with Piles Of Snow Everywhere

19. sleeping position? usually on my left side, or my stomach

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a notebook, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? i love writing on anything i can get my hands on, most times it’s a notebook i tend to always carry pen and paper with me because i Will Not Remember Anything

21. obsession from childhood? you know how people have like, a timeline in their head of their entire life? i did this when i was this age, etc.? yeah i don’t have that my memories are in a big pile in my head and i have to use like things around me to find out a general age it’s wild so i have no idea coloring? minecraft?

22. role model? any kind person ever

23. strange habits? i only shower at night, and once i get in my room and change into my pajamas i have No intention of leaving so i just brush my teeth in the shower

24. favorite crystal? amethyst? quartz? garnet? idk onlytherealonesknow

25. first song you remember hearing? it was a song that my mother used to sing to my brother and i at night when we were in bed, did you ever talk to God i’ve never been able to find it anywhere, but i love it and it has the Best Vibes attached to it

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? S w i m

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? cuddle obviously

28. five songs to describe you? uhh dear younger me- mercyme (Christian) the cult of Dionysus- the Orion experience lucky stars- Lucy Spraggan escapism- steven universe? maybe? sunkissed- Khai dreams???? bro i got no idea

29. best way to bond with you? over shared experiences, or a shared love of something just best way to bond? by relating

30. places that you find sacred? not sure old buildings, sites of historical importance, places marred by tragedy

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? oh boy here we go my tightest pants, obviously, my heels, and my slutty shirt or my comfy clothes i can kick ass in anything

32. top five favorite vines? i am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand. Posiden quivers before him! fuck off!! *BAM* this is why mom doesn’t fUCKING love you!!! please let this be a normal field trip. with Miss Frizzle?? un-fucking-likely Jeremy eat a snickers. why? you’re not you when you’re hungry. it’s gonna take more than that for my fatass meanwhile, in 1957. your honor, permission to treat the witness as hostile. permission granted. i’m gonna shoot you in the face. that’ll ruin my day

33. most used phrase in your phone? i have no phone but i do say valid a lot because All You Fuckers Are Valid

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? michigan plumminggggg, we’ll exceed your expectaaationsssss

35. average time you fall asleep? three am

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

37. suitcase or duffel bag? backpack

38. lemonade or tea? lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? cake

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? idk the cat pissed on my brother’s papers once

41. last person you texted? moje rojenia

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Hoodie Pouch

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? hoodie, obviously

44. favorite scent for soap? Manly Smell

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? mmmmmm sci-fi

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? long sleeve tee, plaid pajama pants

47. favorite type of cheese? Mozzarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? pineapple i’ll eat you out ;)

49. what saying or quote do you live by? if someone makes you happy make them happier

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? my mother made the weirdest fucking sound once, and i couldn’t breathe and fell off the chair

51. current stresses? school, driver’s training, some other stuff

52. favorite font? Kristen ITC

53. what is the current state of your hands? ????? clean?? i have a ring on my right middle finger, some scars on both hands, my nails are short

54. what did you learn from your first job? haven’t had a job yet

55. favorite fairy tale? any of the old Grimm’s fairy tales they terrified me when i was young, but then i got a taste for the disturbed and gore so they became perfect for me

56. favorite tradition? my family doesn’t really have any traditions

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? gaining confidence to not be a complete pushover, quitting self-harm, realizing my first relationship wasn’t my fault

58. four talents you’re proud of having? i don’t have four talents i can color really well? i can copy drawings if i look at them long enough

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Fuck

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? something along the lines of kabaneri of the iron fortress or my hero academia

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? give me something to keep and hold onto forever. let go

62. seven characters you relate to? uggggggggh bro my personality changes every hour i don’t know Sam, from supernatural uh, Klaus? from the originals .... yeah that’s all i got

63. five songs that would play in your club? dangerous- left boy adderall- Max Frost sweet tooth- Scott Helman binary mind- ra ra riot while i’m alive- STRFKR

64. favorite website from your childhood? club penguin and jumpstart

65. any permanent scars? tons

66. favorite flower(s)? coral dahlias and bellflowers

67. good luck charms? nope!

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? quinoa, mustard, and root beer

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? without saliva your stomach would digest itself

70. left or right-handed? right

71. least favorite pattern? whatever the fuck this one is

72. worst subject? math

73. favorite weird flavor combo? ranch and any kind of roast

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? probably like a 7

75. when did you lose your first tooth? neither i nor my mother remember

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? Mashed Potatoes Always

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? strawberries!! they’re yummy and have beautiful flowers

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? both are gross no thank you

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? well since i don’t have my license yet, i’d have to say my license

80. earth tones or jewel tones? earth tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? they’re literally the same thing are you asking which one i say? if so, lightning bugs

82. pc or console? both! i prefer pc but a lot of my favorite games are on console and i don’t have a gaming computer

83. writing or drawing? i’m better at writing, but i love both!

84. podcasts or talk radio? not a huge fan of either

84. barbie or polly pocket? i never had or liked either

85. fairy tales or mythology? faerie* tales and mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes? cookies!!!

87. your greatest fear? being abandoned ig

88. your greatest wish? to live an apple pie life i suppose my partners and i living in a house we love, in a town we love, with all of our fur babies

89. who would you put before everyone else? the young if i was in a room full of people, relatives, friends, elders, i would always save the youngest

90. luckiest mistake? posting my diary on ao3 XD i met my darling Leo through it

91. boxes or bags? f....for??? bags are easier to carry, but boxes are just Nice ..... see this is why i think i’m a cat

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? i love sunlight and fairy lights

93. nicknames? Q that’s that’s basically it

94. favorite season? fall

95. favorite app on your phone? duolingo or pixel.y 3D

96. desktop background? school computer:

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? just my mother’s

98. favorite historical era? anything Ancient greek, egyptian, incan, aztec, that kinda stuff

#tw cursing #tw self-harm #long post #tw eye strain #probably gonna crank out a few of these today because i'm Bored #meet the blogger

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innerclouds · 5 years

Text

This was requested of me, send me more! <3

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More cereal then milk.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Yes.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Strips of paper.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Coffee: Black. Tea: Plain.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yes.

6: do you keep plants? Yes.

7: do you name your plants? No.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Digital/Paper.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? No.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Sides, I shift constantly.

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? "Robush".

12: what’s your favorite planet? Neptune.

13: what’s something that made you smile today? Giant floofy chicken-gryphons.

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Bed, couch, nice kitchen, tv, computers, consoles, tons of plants and pets.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! Don't even need to google it, I know one. There are "clouds" in space that taste like raspberries and smell like rum.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? Chicken alfredo.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? Purple or blue.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. "Celtic Necklace".

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? No.

20: what’s your favorite eye color? Green/Hazel.

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. Don't have one.

22: are you a morning person? No.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Nap.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Yes.

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? Cabin.

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? Don't have any of those.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? Watermelon/Spearmint.

28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset.

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? We share a rather accurate hivemind.

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Yes.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. Socks are useful, I have a few myself including super fluffy, warm and fuzzy ones for winter.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. More closer to 2am then 3am, heli flew way lower then it should have and kept circling my place until after I turned off my computer screen and light, then it left.

33: what’s your fave pastry? Chocolate Éclair.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? Maggy. Cat. Yes.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Stationary yes, but I loathe pens. No.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? Weathers.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean.

38: tell us about your pet peeves! People who don't wash their hands after visiting the bathroom/before handling food.

39: what color do you wear the most? Black.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? Necklace, onyx pendant of my zodiac animal. Someone very close to me gave me it, it's very special to me.

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? Raptor Red.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! I do not.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Bae.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? In the company of the bae.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yep.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. I honestly can't think of any off the top of my head.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Sharkfin soup.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? That's a very long list and yes, more or less.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? Not really. Don't recall.

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? Rocks and anything with a specific gay red headed reaper.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Studio Killers: Jenny.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? Idk.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Rocky Horror: Yes. Amazing.

Heathers: No. No opinion.

Beetlejuice: Yes. Amazing.

Pulp Fiction: Yes. Amazing.

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? Bae.

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? Rather not say.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Amusing quirks.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? Great song but no different. No.

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? Honestly never thought about that so I have no idea.

59: what’s your favorite myth? Cryptids.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? Yes. Ones bae writes.

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? Game pixels. I was gifted a beer once.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Orange/Grapefruit.

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I don't organize by titles or theme or anything, just keep them neat and clean.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Pitch black.

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? No.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Woven blue irises/purple roses.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Comfy.

68: what’s winter like where you live? Freezing and full of power outs.

69: what are your favorite board games? Balderdash.

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Nope.

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? Black/Earl.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? Yes.

73: what are some of your worst habits? Pop all the joints.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Adorable, fluffy sheep.

75: tell us about your pets! His name is Rune and he has atomic shits and giant paws, he's also very old and grouchy.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? Sleeping.

77: pink or yellow lemonade? Arnold Palmer.

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? I'm assuming you mean the little yellow pill looking guys, they're pretty adorable.

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

Anything and everything bae has ever done for me.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Ugly wood paneling. No.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Idk.

82: are/were you good in school? Good as in what? Behavior? I was behaved sure, but I was also the person people forgot was even in the class/school because I didn't speak to anyone/make a sound/have friends.

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? I honestly don't recall off the top of my head.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Possibly.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? I read manga if that counts: Kuroshitsuji Berserk JoJo Beastars

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? What's a concept album?

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Not sure.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? No.

89: are you close to your parents? Mother: Sorta. Father: Nope.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I only really know of one city enough to form an opinion on it and I wouldn't call it my favorite.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? New place and visit bae.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? Ocean of cheese.

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Loose pony.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Me.

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Work.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? Update before log off.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Who? Rat. I don't know, I always get mixed results with that.

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? I honestly can't recall.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Delta Heavy: White Flag Korpiklaani: Keep On Galloping Two Steps From Hell: Black Blade

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Neither.

#IC-Requests #Personality thingy #Questions

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queen-of-deans-booty · 6 years

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Mystery Spot- Part 1

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,229

Warnings: Typical Supernatural violence, language, angst, blood, you know the usual, major character death

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated. I really want to hear what you guys think about this one!

Feedback is the glue that holds my writing together.

Tags at the bottom

No soul… no feelings… no humanity… over and over again you kept hearing those words pound through your head, giving you nightmares. You couldn’t imagine yourself without your feelings, your emotions. It’s what made you, you. You couldn’t imagine Dean as a demon, hurting and killing people. It’s not who he is.

Dean could take the nightmares away but he couldn’t take away this one. Every time you closed your eyes, all you could see was yourself with those evil eyes, laughing at other people’s pain. It wasn’t who you were and it wasn’t right. You knew one thing for sure, you weren’t letting yourself get that way. But the one thing you couldn’t understand was why Dean dreamed you like that? You weren’t even mad about the whole Lisa thing. You didn’t care about that. You cared about how he portrayed you. That wasn’t your dream so why were you like that?

Lips on your neck and cheek were what woke you up. You could faintly hear Asia’s Heat of the Moment playing in the background. You moaned softly and your eyes fluttered open. You stared into green eyes, beautiful green eyes that you’ll miss once he’s gone. You smiled at him and he pecked your lips before sitting up and grabbing his shoes. You looked over at the other bed to see Sam still sleeping.

“Morning sweetheart!” Dean said cheerily, lacing up his right boot.

“You’re cheery considering what happened a few days ago.” You said, sitting up and eyeing him suspiciously.

“Nah, that was nothing. Don’t worry about it.” Dean said with a shrug.

“But I would really like to talk to you about what we went through…” you trailed off but Dean was having none of it.

“There isn’t anything to talk about. Okay?” Dean terminated the conversation. He reached over to the radio that was playing the song and turned it up loud, jerking Sam awake. Sam shot his eyes opened and sat up in bed, looking at his brother who was typing up his other boot. You smiled and waved at Sam before getting out of bed yourself.

“Rise and shine, Sammy!” Dean yelled happily.

“Dude, Asia?” Sam chuckled, recognizing the song immediately.

“Come on. You love this song and you know it.” Dean winked.

“Yeah, and if I ever hear it again I'm gonna kill myself.” That only made Dean turn it up louder.

“What? Sorry, couldn't hear you.” Dean said, making Sam laugh. Dean started bopping his head to the sing, pointing at Sam as he mouthed the chorus of the song. You watched in amusement, going to the bathroom to brush your teeth. There was a small case going on that could have been given to another hunter but Sam decided that he wanted to take it even though Bela was out there with the Colt. You hoped that she didn’t sell it. You needed to focus on finding her but then again, if she didn’t want to be found, she wouldn’t.

Dean got up and joined you in the bathroom, kissing your cheek as he grabbed his toothbrush. You smiled, liking this side of Dean because you rarely saw it. Sam knew it was time to get out of bed and when he did, he walked into the bathroom. Since you and Dean were brushing your teeth, he may as well do it too. When you were done, you rinsed out the toothpaste but stopped when Dean gargled loudly and for a long time. You and Sam looked at him but he just tried to smile and continued to gargle the water in his mouth.

“You’re an ass.” You said while you walked out of the room. Dean laughed as he spits out the water, letting Sam finish on his own.

“You love it,” Dean smirked, going over to his duffel bag. You grabbed clothes and changed into them, not caring if Sam was in the room. You were only changing your pants and shirt and knew Sam’s seen you in worse before. Sam walked out of the bathroom and grabbed his clothes, bringing them into the bathroom so he could change.

“So, wanna get breakfast? I saw a diner down the street from us.” You suggested and Dean nodded, excited to get food in his stomach. Sam agreed from inside the bathroom and you walked over to the radio and shut it off, right in the middle of the song.

“That’s enough Asia for one morning.” You chuckled and Sam walked out of the bathroom before putting his pajamas in his bag.

“Alright, ready when you guys are.” He stated. Dean reached into his duffel only to pull out one of your black bras.

“This yours?” He asked with a smirk.

“Like I said, ass.” He chuckled and put the bra back in his bag before taking out his gun.

“Bingo,” He said, putting it behind his jeans. It was sad how you had to carry a gun around everywhere because you knew you would need it in case you got attacked by monsters. You grabbed your gun and did the same thing. “Now who's ready for some breakfast?”

You and the brothers left the motel room and walked to the diner. It was a small one but it looked comfy and so you walked in first, smelling good food. Your eyes landed on the cashier giving a dirty old man some change.

“Drive safely now, Mr. Pickett.” The cashier said and the old man grumbled as he walked past you and out of the building. A bell ran through the place, the cook sticking his head out of the little window that he could hand the food through to the waitresses.

“Order up!” The cook said, chiming the bell. You walked to the back and grabbed a booth, sliding in first with Dean sliding in next to you and Sam across from you.

“Can’t stay unless you order something, Cal. You know the rules.” A waitress said from behind the bar. You looked over to see a man sitting there. He didn’t look so good and you didn’t know if he was homeless or not.

“Some coffee,” Cal said and passed the waitress some change. It was only a little bit enough for the waitress to give him a cup.

“Hey, Tuesday. Pig in a poke.” Dean smiled, noticing a poster on the wall that displayed the specials for the day.

“You even know what that is?” Sam asked which made you giggle. The waitress from behind the bar walked over to your table and you looked at her name tag: Doris.

“You folks ready?” She asked with a pad in her hands.

“Yes. I'll have the special, side of bacon and a coffee.” Dean said with a smile.

“Make it two coffees and a short stack,” Sam added.

“I’ll have a short stack and apple juice.” You smiled at her and she chuckled as she wrote that down.

“You got it.” She said, leaving the table.

“You’re a child sometimes,” Dean said, smiling at you.

“Hey, don’t hate.” You giggled.

“I'm telling you, Sam, this job is small fry. We should be spending our time hunting down Bela.” Dean sighed.

“Okay, sure, let's get right on that. Where is she again?” Sam sassed.

“He has a point.” You stated.

“Shut up,” Dean grumbled.

“Look. Believe me, I want to find her as bad as you do. In the meantime, we have this,” Sam said, pulling out some papers from his jacket. He laid them out on the table and immediately, you and Dean got into business.

“Alright, so, this professor…?” Dean said, looking at some of the papers. You looked at the paper he grabbed and read the headline: MISSING - DEXTER HASSELBACK LAST SEEN IN BROWARD, FLORIDA.

“Dexter Hasselback was passing through town last week when he vanished,” Sam explained.

“Where was he seen last?” You asked.

“His daughter says he was on his way to visit the Broward County Mystery Spot,” Sam said, sliding over a flyer to the Mystery Spot place. You grabbed it and looked through it, stopping at a line that stood out to you.

“Where the laws of physics have no meaning.” You looked up and Sam shrugged, not knowing exactly what it means. Doris came over with the tray of food and two coffees and an apple juice. She set down the food and then the drinks before reaching for the hot sauce.

“Two coffees, black, and some hot sauce for the—” She said but was interrupted as the hot sauce fell off the tray and smashed on the floor. You jumped at the noise and saw the sauce all over the floor. You gasped and looked at Doris who cursed.

“Crap. Sorry,” She apologized, looking behind her. “Cleanup!”

After eating the delicious meal, you walked out of the diner after paying for it and looked at your surroundings. As you passed by a dog that was chained to a bike post while its owner was inside the store, it started barking at you three. Dean snatched the Mystery Spot flyer from Sam’s hand and looked at it.

“Sam, joints like this are only tourist traps, right? I mean, you know, balls rolling uphill, furniture nailed to the ceiling… they're only dangerous to your wallet.” Dean sighed.

“Okay, look, I'm just saying, there are spots in the world where holes open up and swallow people. The Bermuda Triangle, uh, the Oregon Vortex…” Sam was cut off by Dean.

“Broward County Mystery Spot?”

“Hey, it doesn’t hurt to check out, Dean.” You said, looking at the brothers.

“Alright, so if it is legit, and that's a big-ass if, what's the lore?” Dean asked, looking at Sam for the answer. Before he could say anything, Dean ran into a blonde girl carrying a stack of papers.

“Excuse me.” She said before walking away.

“The lore's pretty fucking nuts, actually. They say these places, the magnetic fields are so strong that they can bend spacetime, sending victims no one knows where.” Sam answered Dean’s question.

“Sounds a little X-Files to me,” Dean said. You walked down the street and passed by two movers trying to get a big ass desk that clearly wasn’t going to fit through the tiny ass door they were trying to get it through.

“Told you it wouldn't fit.” The first mover said.

“What do you want, a Pulitzer?” The other mover snapped. You shook your head and moved passed them, not caring about their drama.

“Alright, look, I'm not saying this is really happening, but if it is, we gotta check it out, see if we can do something,” Sam said.

“Ah, Sam, always the helper.” You joked and he chuckled.

“Alright, alright, we'll go tonight after they close, get ourselves a nice long look,” Dean said, deciding for the group.

As it grew dark, you and the Winchesters walked to the Mystery Spot tourist place and waited as Dean picked the lock. You held yours and his flashlight as he worked, giving him his flashlight when he opened the door. You walked in and looked at the green and black lines on the wall. You turned around to close the door and noticed those lines was actually a spiral. You turned back around to see Sam with his EMF reader out.

You walked ahead of them and looked at the ceiling which contained a table, lamp, and an ashtray what was hanging from the ceiling. It was as if you were walking on the ceiling.

“Wow, uncanny,” Dean said, talking about the thing you were looking at.

“Find anything, Sam?” You asked him who was in another room. He sighed and held up the unresponsive EMF reader.

“No.” You sighed but moved to another part of the place when you were startled by an unknown voice.

“What the hell are you doing here?” You and the brothers turned around to see an older man, probably the owner. However, he was holding a shotgun at the three of you.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. We can explain.” Dean said but the man pointed his gun at Sam.

“You robbing me?” He asked, determined not to let it happen even though you weren’t going to.

“Look, nobody's robbing you, calm down,” Sam said, moving forward but the owner cocked the gun which caused Sam to freeze.

“Don’t move!”

“Just putting the gun down,” Dean said but the owner pointed the gun at Dean and shot him right in the chest. Dean gasped and fell to the ground, blood coming out of his mouth.

“No! Dean!!” You yelled, rushing to him and getting on your knees. Dean struggled to breathe and you got tears, letting them fall.

“What the hell did you do?” You yelled at the owner and Sam knelt on the other side of Dean.

“I—I didn't mean to—” the owner stuttered.

“Call 911!!” You yelled at him. He nodded and left your side. You turned back to Dean who coughed up blood.

“No, Dean, don’t close your eyes. Stay with us,” you panicked, looking at Sam for help. Suddenly Dean went still and you gasped, your tears falling on their own accord. His eyes closed and he stopped breathing.

“Dean!!!” You cried in pain, not believing this was happening.

Dean was dead.

Series Rewrite Junkies:

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ourtaylorstory · 7 years

Photo

Part 2: Meeting @taylorswift Chapter 1: Let’s Try In the fall of 2012, my daughter Page had smiled at me and mentioned in passing, “You know what Mom? Taylor always makes me feel better”...... That smile of hers had stopped me in my tracks. I hadn’t seen happiness in her, like that, since my cancer journey had begun. It had been a long year for all of us, and even though I was exhausted, I decided to do what I could to cheer up my family. Later that night, I sat next to Page on the couch and asked her about her comment. “Oh, you know, Mom.” she said, “Her music just cheers me up when I’m having a down day”. “I don’t know that much about her, do you?”, I asked. “Oh yes!”, she said excitedly. She got up and ran for her ipod. Returning a few minutes later she said, “See, she’s really close with her mom, too. Just like us, that’s what I like”. “Let me see what you’re looking at”, I said. She passed me her ipod where she had pulled up www.TaylorSwift.com. On the homepage was what looked like a letter from Taylor Swift to her fans. It mentioned that her favorite number was 13, that she was close with her mom, that she’d grown up on a Christmas Tree Farm in Pennsylvania...Interesting things like that. “Maybe we could get her cd from the library?”, I asked her. “That would be great!”, said Page smiling at me again. “Ah-ha”, I thought smiling to myself. I was so happy to do something that would make our house feel happy and normal again! I looked up the library website to place an order. It turned out that there was a lot of info about Taylor Swift at the library. “Wow!”, I thought, “She’s got a couple cd’s”. So I ordered them all. We anxiously waited for ‘Taylor’, ‘Fearless’, ‘Speak Now’, ‘Speak Now World Tour Live’ and ‘Sounds of the Season’ cd’s to be ready for pickup. While we waited, I got a test result back from one of my doctor visits. They’d found Melanoma cancer on my ankle. At the time of the doctor’s call, I didn’t know what Melanoma was. I thought it was just a not-a-big-deal, simple, skin cancer. I readied for my appointment. “We need to schedule immediate surgery”, was the first thing my Dermatologist said. Marc and I looked at each other. “It’s really that bad?” I asked. “Yes”, was her response. “Melanoma can translocate through your body by the lymph nodes. We need to remove it immediately as this type of cancer can spread quickly. She referred me to a plastic surgeon, and my surgery was scheduled for the next day. It was an outpatient procedure at a local hospital. I was given an IV, strapped to a table with my arms spread, and then given anesthesia. I could interact with the staff, and hear things, but I wasn’t very coherent in my replies. I also, luckily, couldn’t feel anything they were doing. Afterwards, I fully awoke in a darkened waiting area. I was given cookies and a coke, and watched for side effects. After a couple hours, I was given crutches and told that the doctor had successfully removed all the Melanoma cancer from my right ankle. I was relieved to hear that it had not spread. Soon after that, I was released. Recovery was slow, there were multiple doctor visits and stages of stitches removal, but it was a good feeling dealing with a cancer that could be cut out and removed. I asked if the Melanoma had been the cause of my weird symptoms. I was told, “no”. It took a month before I could walk without the crutches, but, luckily, while couch bound, Page and I had a new, happy hobby to entertain ourselves with: Taylor-Time :) Page’s Taylor Swift cd’s had arrived. She excitedly played them for me, one after the other, after the other, for days. We’d snuggle together, and watch the first snows of the season swirl around outside the windows, while we practiced singing all the words. She noticed certain differences in the writing of the words within the cd papers, and figured out they were Taylor’s secret messages to her fans. Hours were spent happily decoding them. After my naps, she’d proudly show me her results. I noticed that Page was starting to look like Page again. By now we were closing in on Christmas. I was still so exhausted and awful feeling from my original cancer and chemo, plus now I couldn’t walk well from my second cancer surgery. Days, other than our ‘Taylor-Time’, as we came to call it, were pretty bleak. I thought of looking up to see if Taylor might have a fan club Page could join. I’d remembered when I was younger you could sign up for things like that. I thought perhaps they’d send her a button for her jacket or a simple autograph, something we could surprise her with. I found an address online and sent off a letter. Each day, Marc would bring in the mail and I’d eagerly look up. Nope, nothing today. Oh well, I thought, maybe I didn’t have the right address, or it just takes awhile. We decided to get her a Taylor Swift wall poster for a Christmas surprise. Not knowing where to look for such a thing, I turned to my old reliable ebay. (I’m sorry Taylor, I was new at this time to buying stuff on the internet, plus my brain was all fuzzy...now of course we only shop on your taylorswift.com website :) I typed in ‘Taylor Swift’, and good gravy there were a lot of items! Scrolling through item after item I didn’t know what to get. Marc and I finally decided on a close up one of Taylor smiling. It was going to be perfect. Christmas arrived, and I still hadn’t heard back from the Fan Club. Luckily the poster was a huge hit! As Santa had given it to her, Page shrieked as she opened her stocking, and then held it up for us to see. Just as she proudly stood there with it unfolded for us to take a picture, Page’s dog decided to check it out for herself. Balancing on her hind legs, Suzie gave the poster a quick lick right across Taylor’s face!! Tears sprang from Page’s eyes, but I’m happy to say, the poster was saved. To this day it still proudly hangs, just a little bit dog slobbery, on her bedroom wall. January came and went, and Page and I continued with our ‘Taylor-Time’. We rented all the books and DVD’s on Tay we could find from the library. It really was, and is, a good bonding time we’ve shared. Plus, the more I learned, the happier I felt that Page was looking up to a good role model. It was amazing to find out all the similarities Page had with Taylor. They were both blonde, tall, liked to read, liked to write, loved horses and cats, couldn’t see without their glasses, liked to play Scrabble, eat gummies, eggs and cheesecake, bake, do kind things for others, and most importantly, be close with their families. We watched on the show ‘60 Minutes’ about when Taylor wasn’t much older than Page, how she and her mom passed out demo cd’s in Nashville, trying to get Taylor into her dream job of singing. We read about when Taylor was starting out and how she passed out homemade chocolate chip cookies to radio stations. We read about all the people Taylor helps through charity organizations and even privately visits with (please see my website to see a list of these items: http://www.lotsoflifeonalittlelot.com/thank-you-taylor-swift.html) . Page would say things like, “We must be related, don’t you think, Mom?”. She thought of Taylor like a best friend, close cousin or sister. Someone that she could always count on. Our days slowly crept past. My health was not improving, and with what strength I had, I split it between more doctor’s visits, reading about alternative therapies for cancer, and ‘Taylor-Time’ with Page. Each minute of every day, felt like it could be our last together. I couldn’t believe how our life had changed. I still hadn’t heard anything back from my first fan letter inquiry, so I tried sending another. One of those slowly creeping by days, all 3 of us, watched the DVD video for the Speak Now Tour. Marc and I had debated if Page was old enough to watch a concert, as we weren’t sure what all it would show. We decided to give it a try, so we all snuggled in with our popcorn, blankets and pets, and hit play. Page was mesmerized. She sang every song and started dancing around the room. When it ended, she said “Woo...That wore me out! Taylor must get pretty tired if she has to do that every night!” A few minutes later, she added, “Mom, can we send her something to help her, like she helps me?” I just looked at her. She was so caring and generous, and beautiful and kind. Smiling at her, I said, “Of course we can. I think that’s a great idea”. We called it ‘Page’s Taylor Swift Care Kit’. The next day Page and I started diligently trying to figure out what sort of item we should send to Taylor. Page thought we should send something ‘13’ related as that was Taylor’s favorite number. “Perfect”, I said, “Any other ideas?” “What if we send her 13 things that she likes and that would help her?” “Ok, what are you thinking”, I said. “I don’t know. Let’s write a list of ideas”, she answered. So we did. We leafed through books, magazines, thought of what we’d seen on DVD’s, and thought of what we’d like for someone to send us in the way of helpful items. We came up with our list. Next came shopping. We went early the next morning when I have my best energy. Here are the items we sent her: 1-canned pumpkin 2-cinnamon spice 3-pumpkin pie spice (because we’d read baking Pumpkin Bread is one of her favorite things to do) 4-super soft socks (to wear when she worked out) 5-pretty soft yarn (we read she likes to knit) 6-a book called ‘The Notebook’ (it’s one of my favorites, and because she loves a good love story) 7-Toy Story gummies (we’d read she liked those) 8-Cat Treats (for her beloved cat, Meredith) 9-Big Red gum (in honor of her upcoming RED tour) 10-Vitamin C (to help keep her strong and healthy) 11-Throat Lozenges (in case her throat got sore from singing) 12-A vanilla scented candle (to make her hotel rooms on tour smell comfy like home) Plus we bought a super cute sparkly heart bag to pack them all in. After that, home we went. While Page worked on packaging, plus making a homemade card and the 13th item (a special collage of pictures of Page for Taylor), I worked on finding another address to try to send it to. I should confess here that I’m a bit of a detective. Not a real one. I’ve just really always loved to solve mysteries. It probably stems from the fact that at about Page’s age I read all the Nancy Drew books, in order, from our local library. So thinking of this as just another mystery, I went to work trying to solve it. I found an address I thought would work. We boxed up the gift bag and decorated the outside of the box, too. We wanted whoever got it, to know right away that it was ‘Page’s Taylor Swift Care Kit’. Page at this point still didn’t know anything about how I’d been trying to reach Taylor. This ‘Care Kit’ was purely a from-Page’s-heart gift for her friend. Since Page didn’t know that I was trying to reach Taylor, after Page went to school I slipped in another letter I’d written, then mailed the package. I’d decided to move on from just trying for Page to be in a Fan Club. Now more than ever, I really wanted Taylor, herself, to know how much she meant to Page, and to thank her for how much she was helping my daughter cope with my illness. As the winter went on my illness constantly reminded all of us how short life really is. Marc and I wondered, “Was this all we were going to accomplish in life? Was this all we would remember?” We decided we’d like to try to take Page on a Spring Break trip of her choosing. Something fun. I’d do as much as I could, and we’d enjoy just being together. We decided to ask her that night what she’d like to do for a ‘Dream Come True’ vacation. We thought she’d say something like, “Let’s go to Disney”. But, she said, “Can I meet Taylor?” Looking over her head at my husband the thought, “Oh boy” crossed between us, but when I looked back down at her, what came out of my mouth, with a smile, were the words, “Let’s try!” The smile that crossed Page’s face is one I’ll never forget..... *Thank you for reading along with me 😊 This is an excerpt from my memoir 'Dream Accomplished: A Story of Cancer, A Mother's Love & Taylor Swift'. It is © & published. Paying forward Taylor's kindness, my family donates ALL book profits to help others battling illness. For more info, pls visit http://www.dreamaccomplished.com OR if you'd like a FREE ebook, pls send me a DM or email at [email protected] I'm happy to send you 1 :)

#Thank You Taylor #Hi Tay :) Hope you are having a good day -e&p #We're paying forward your kindness #hope to catch you Taylurking

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