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sutorus · 7 months

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Hello! Can you do jjk men reaction when y/n said their safe word during sex? Only if you're not busy! Thank you! 😘

JJK MEN’S REACTIONS TO YOU USING YOUR SAFE WORD

FEATURED: gojo, geto, toji

WARNINGS: 18+ MDNI. fem reader, afab terms, use of safe word, descriptions of anxiety. please mind individual tws for each scene. proceed with caution and don’t read if it’ll make you feel bad! take care bbs

A/N: my first request i hate it but i hope you love it anon!!! 😊 also sorry i couldn’t do nanami or choso if i’m inspired another time i’ll add em to this LMAO

GOJO SATORU

warnings: reader is blindfolded and bound (wrists), use of safe word, unprotected sex, crying, descriptions of anxiety

you’ve done it a ton but it still makes you nervous.

one sense is kind of a lot to lose when you only have five of them, as a non sorcerer. but the relinquishing of control, entrusting your safety and pleasure and entire body to someone else… it turns you on beyond belief.

so here you are, tonight, blindfold tight over your eyes and hands bound behind your back as satoru fucks you, pace languid, fingers running all over your body.

any other day, it would be just what you needed to relax. any other day you’d be squirming in pleasure, hips bucking wildly against him as your nails claw at your own palms.

but today, for whatever reason, it’s uncomfortable. maybe you’ve had too much caffeine, maybe it’s the stress of his most recent mission, the first one to ever have you worrying your lip all night long thinking, maybe he’s not coming back this time.

his wandering hands feel foreign, the pleasured moans coming from his mouth sounding distant and wrong. your arms tingle from the position you’re in, your sweaty skin itches and you can’t reach to scratch at it.

you furrow your brows.

“satoru…” you whine softly, still unsure of what to ask for.

“mmm?,” he grips your waist, his strokes deep and precise. “my pretty baby looks so good like this. so mine.”

you whine, wriggling in search for comfort. satoru must mistake that for pleasure because he fucks you just a little bit harder, puffing out hot breaths into the crook of your neck.

“kiss me,” you ask, hoping it’ll make it better, but it does nothing to calm you down. with no stimuli but touch, your brain starts to go into overdrive, and you feel tears begin to trickle down your face.

satoru notices, but not in the right way.

“is it that good?” he teases, like he always does, but today it sends a chill down your spine. “i could do anything i wanted to you right now and you wouldn’t even know. wouldn’t be able to stop me.”

that does it for you, a wrecked sob leaving your lips along with your safe word.

satoru stills immediately. you can feel him softening inside you and for some reason that only makes you cry harder.

gently, he reaches behind your head to unhook the blindfold, his worried gaze searching your face for answers.

he lifts your back and unties your wrists, rubbing them to soothe the friction from the ropes.

“baby…” his tone is careful and guilty. “sweetheart, is everything okay? did i do something, what did i do?”

you sniff. the first words that come out of your mouth are, “i’m sorry.”

you’ve never had him so doting, so tense, all that confidence vanishing and it makes you chuckle, this big lanky man handling every limb of yours like they’re made out of snowflakes.

“satoru, i’m okay. i just…” you inhale deeply. “i just got overwhelmed, is all.”

he lays down beside you, visibly unsure about touching you. you grip his hand firmly in yours, offering him a wavering smile.

“i’m okay, i promise. you’re good,” you lean over to peck his lips.

satoru looks regretful, but he relaxes at the gesture, caressing the side of your face softly.

“i love you so much. i’m sorry if i, like, went too far or something—“

“you did nothing wrong,” you assure him. “i think i’m just having a bad day. just wanted to see your face to feel better.”

at that, he smirks. he kisses you slowly, adoringly, unspoken apologies every time your lips touch.

“i am sorry, by the way,” you say. satoru looks back at you with a confused expression on his face. you continue sheepishly, “for having to use the word.”

“huh?” he exclaims, his incredulity so earnest that it rips a hearty laugh from you. “nah, hell no. thank you for saying it, actually.”

“yeah? you’re not upset?”

“of course not. i completely understand,” he traces a line down your body. “not being able to see my handsome face would make anyone cry.”

you slap his hand away playfully and he pulls you into his chest, cuddling you.

you stay like that until you fall asleep, reassured that the most powerful sorcerer in the world is indeed fit to take care of you; heart, body and soul.

GETO SUGURU

warnings: overstim, degradation/humiliation and dirty talk, use of safe word, reader’s discomfort is brief but descriptive

you don’t know how long it’s been.

maybe ten minutes. maybe twenty. maybe ninety.

you don’t know how many times you came.

your entire body is covered in sweat, the top of your thighs and the bottom of your ass soaked in your own arousal.

suguru holds the wand to your clit almost disinterestedly, eyes glazed over and locked on your cunt.

he fucking loves it, making you cum over and over again, thrash against his body, make a mess on his sheets. and you love it just the same.

the undivided attention, the devotion, the seconds right after when the stimulation doesn’t stop and it hurts so bad before it gets mind-numbingly good again.

“hahh,” you breathe out, voice cracking. “i—i’m gonna—“

“oh, you’re gonna?” suguru mocks you. “shocking.”

you moan at his words, his tone. by now, your body barely has any energy left to react. all you can feel is the release of an unbelievable pressure in your core as wetness gushes out of you uncontrollably when you cum.

your puffy clit is throbbing, thoroughly abused, your spread legs quivering in pleasure. you sigh in anticipatory relief at the incoming break suguru is bound to give you after your orgasm.

except this time, the break doesn’t come.

“ahh!” you scream — honest to god yell — as the buzzing continues, suguru pressing the wand down hard on your pussy.

he chuckles, playing with the toy, lifting it up just slightly before bringing it back down on you, over and over again.

“can’t—i can’t, suguru, i can’t cum right now—“

“of course you can, baby,” he says in a sickeningly sweet voice, getting off on your desperation.

usually you’re just as much into it as he is, but this time it’s for real. it’s painful and not in the nice way, you’ve hit your limit but you can hardly talk, can’t do much more than try to wiggle away from your boyfriend’s ministrations.

“how can you say that when you have such a slutty pussy?” he runs his fingers through your slick folds, and every clench of your cunt makes it hurt even more. “so greedy…”

you’re clawing at his hands, but he’s so much stronger than you, his forearms and thighs holding you down, leaving you entirely to his mercy — of which he has none.

“please please fuck please no more—“

it’s something he’s heard you say a thousand times, in a thousand different scenarios, and never truly mean it, which is why you even have a safe word in the first place.

oh right. the safe word.

you pull it out from the depths of your fucked out, mushed up brain and blurt it, digging your heels into the mattress.

it all happens so fast, after that.

suguru all but tosses the wand to the side, switching to lightly stroking your pussy. it makes you jolt; even a gush of air right now could probably make you cry in overstimulation.

“oh fuck, shit,” he removes his hand and you whine. “what do you need baby, what can i do?”

“s-suguru…” you’re still trying to catch your breath, your legs spasming erratically.

“i’m here, i’m here,” suguru starts to move towards you but stops halfway. “do you want me to be here?”

you let out a croaky laugh, opening your arms because you’re too far gone to use words.

hesitantly, he lays his head on your chest. when he feels how fast your heart is beating, his own sinks to his stomach.

“i’m so sorry honey. i thought you were into it.”

you swallow, taking a few beats to regain your composure.

“i was, it was just… a lot, all of a sudden.”

suguru turns his head to look up at you.

“i get it,” he wipes away a stray tear you hadn’t even noticed you’d shed. “i’m sorry. i love you, i'm so sorry—”

“it’s okay,” you offer him a weak smile. “it’s what the word is for, right?”

“right…” he sounds unsure. that makes you frown.

you two lay there for a while, until your breathing has evened out, until your thighs have stopped shaking.

you can practically hear the hear the cogs in his brain turning, certain that his brain chastising himself.

“hey, suguru?” your voice rips him right out of his thoughts.

“hmm?”

“can you promise me something?”

he sits up in attention, instinctively reaching for your hand. “of course.”

“promise me you’re never gonna stop fucking me like that," he gulps, audibly, visibly relaxing. "and i promise to always let you know if i need to stop.”

it takes a beat, but suguru finally loosens up, pressing his smile into your lips over and over again and mumbling all sorts of promises of his own against them.

TOJI FUSHIGURO

warnings: knifeplay, cnc (sort of), roleplaying, pretty graphic descriptions of anxiety and panic, oral (m! receiving)

“what’s a pretty lil’ thing like you doin’ here this late at night?”

you roll your eyes to yourself before putting on your best innocent look to turn around and face the man.

he’s smirking down at you, the streetlight lamps casting dark shadows on his features.

if you were being honest with yourself, you’d never really been interested in roleplaying in your previous relationships. it was always so awkward and you never truly felt any incentive to stick to the script no matter how much the scenario excited you.

until you met toji, that is.

he was always so into it, played his parts convincingly well, which should probably worry you considering he would always opt to play the sleazy delivery guy, the pervy doctor, the horny stranger in a bar.

as for you, acting the part of the ditzy student or the clumsy maid or whatever the fuck toji wanted you to be that particular day… yeah, that was embarrassingly hot too.

tonight, he’s playing creepy guy in a dark alleyway. he’d texted you in advance, a very romantic meet me in that alley between the tracks and the highway. dress slutty.

“i was just looking for the station and got lost…” you mumble, looking up at him through your eyelashes. he pouts in a fake display of pity, twirling something inside his jacket pocket.

“oh, what a coincidence! i was just on my way there. care to accompany me?”

you smile sweetly, linking arms with him.

soon enough, you find yourself being shoved past toji’s apartment door, his pocketknife prodding at the small of your back.

you have to contain your giggles to stay in character, letting him toss you onto his bed. you also have to fight your anger when he slashes through your top, a sleazy smile on his face as he breaks character to say he’ll get you a new one.

he’s so goddamn hard that it should concern you, holding your jaw open while he feeds you his cock.

“god—shit, that’s right, such a slutty little mouth,” you moan around his length, hands resting primly on top of your thighs. “you were just begging for it, weren’t you, slut?”

you bob your head up and down, putting on a fake grimace while squeezing your legs together at the same time.

you hear something click in the distance, the sound barely registering in your brain as you get lost in the scent of him. he’s beginning to push into your throat now, laughing like a maniac when you choke on it.

“c’mon now, open up that throat for me, girl,” you inhale in preparation. but your breath gets caught in your throat when you feel something cold and sharp poke you. “or maybe i’ll just to do it for ya with this.”

toji’s pressing his switchblade to your neck, grazing it delicately up and down.

he’s not going to hurt you. you know that.

the blade is probably too dull to pierce skin even if he tried, but he would never, you know this, you know he won’t.

and yet despite that, your heart is jackhammering in your ribcage, uncontrolled and wild as your eyes widen around tears.

toji takes your inaction as a sign to just start fucking your mouth a little more, but your attention is zeroed in on that pocketknife.

suddenly colors are sharper, like it’s bright as day inside his dimly lit bedroom. a headache begins to bloom and you start choking in earnest now, not because toji’s going too hard but because you can’t coordinate your breaths.

he starts tracing your throat with the blade. “feel me right here sweetheart? fuck.”

you’re clearly struggling but it’s hard to distinguish your real reactions to the character you’re supposed to be playing. that only serves to make you panic even further, hands coming up to push on toji’s thighs.

“hands to yourself, whore,” he grunts, pressing the knife a little too hard, a little too close for comfort, and you hit your breaking point.

you start garbling wildly around his dick, repeating your safe word over and over again until a very confused toji finally makes out what you’re saying.

he rips himself out of your mouth, instantly dropping to his knees and grabbing your chin in his hand.

“oh fuck, did i cut ya sweetheart?” he moves your face from side to side, examining you.

you swallow around the lump in your throat, willing your heart to calm down.

“uh, n-no. just got a bit too real there, for a moment.”

he sighs, partially relieved, reassessing the situation. you’re gulping in air, blowing it out of your mouth in calculated puffs.

toji waits until you're visibly calmer before he gets up.

“wait here,” he orders.

you sit down on the floor, hands wrapped around your knees and mentally repeating to yourself that you’re okay, it wasn’t real, you’re not in danger.

toji returns with a glass of water, sitting down in front of you and waiting until you’ve drank most of it.

“you okay?” he asks.

you take a beat before you can honestly say you are. you nod.

“that knife on your throat was a bit too far, huh, babe?”

“yeah,” you garble out, tracing circles on his knees. “could’ve warned me of that particular detail. asshole.”

he laughs but his body language isn't nearly as carefree.

there’s a long drag of silence before he speaks again.

“i’m sorry, honey. really.”

and toji, as amazing as he can be, is usually way too prideful to admit guilt. so the fact that he apologizes is what finally gets you to fully relax, knowing he does realize the situation you were in and feels bad about it.

“honestly we can stop with all the roleplaying bullshit, it’s getting kinda old anyways. you know i don't need you playing a slut to get you acting like one on my co—“

“toji,” you hiss, and he puts his hands up in mock surrender. “it’s fine. i think i have a better idea, anyway.”

that seems to spark his interest. he rises his eyebrows, prompting you to go on.

“because there’s a few roleplays we haven’t tried yet. and if you genuinely feel so bad—“ he says your name sternly but just you ignore him, “then i know the perfect thing you can do to make it up to me.”

“babe…” he bemoans like a chastised child, with a hint of resignation at what awaits him.

when he sees that you’re beaming he just takes a deep breath, running a hand through his hair defeatedly.

“when?” is all he asks.

impossibly, your smile grows even wider.

“i already ordered the costume! and the cat ears should be here next week,” you kiss his forehead, propping yourself on his shoulders to stand up.

you hear him groan in the distance as you skip to the bathroom, turning on the faucet.

he stalks after you almost immediately, wrapping his arms around your waist and honest to god pouting at you in the mirror.

“are ya really going to do this to me now?”

you grin.

“don’t you mean meow, kitty?”

a/n: yayyy my first somewhat wholesome post i am so bad at this but i hope it was readable! bye now!

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marauderswolf22 · 2 months

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i am a marauders fan, of course im obsessed with grandpa sweaters

#marauders #wolfstar #dead gay wizards #sirius black #remus lupin #the marauders #marauders era #the valkyries #slitherin skittles #jily #jegulus #starchaser #sunseeker #im too tired to write more tags lmao

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riality-check · 10 months

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TW: past verbal and emotional abuse

The Harrington house is a game of perfection.

Steve has known this fact for as long as he can remember. There is a right way, a narrow way, a rigid way, of doing things. Numbers dictate all: rebounds, points, and assists for basketball, new PRs in freestyle and backstroke for swim. The numbers themselves do not matter; all that does is that they grow and shrink appropriately.

Infinite growth is not sustainable; not for Steve's stats, not for Richard's stocks. Both of them strive for it anyway.

The house must be clean. The parties can't be busted. The people of Hawkins will only say good things about the Harrington family. Gloria strives for these things, day in and day out.

The Harrington house is also a game of Perfection.

Steve hated that game growing up. The one with the little yellow pieces and the blue board. He was never able to get all the pieces in the right spot before the board spit them all back out.

It made a ticking noise, like a time bomb. Steve doesn't know when he started associating that sound with his parents.

It fits. It fits almost too well. They're fine, at least for a little while. The ticking starts quiet, then grows louder and louder until everything blows up.

The thing is, in Perfection, that the board blows up even if you put all the pieces in the right spots in time. The thing is, in the Harrington house, that everything blows up even if Steve does everything right.

The ticking lasts for days sometimes, weeks others. It's impossible, random, and impossibly random.

The only consistent thing is the board blowing up. And when that happens, so does the shouting.

The Party thinks that Tommy and Carol taught Steve to be cruel. That they're the ones who taught him how to bare his fangs and spit venom. That once he left them, the rage left him.

He's okay with letting them think that. It's easier than explaining that Richard and Gloria are the ones who taught him how to snap and shout, how to tear holes in other people with a few well-spoken barbs.

When Steve thinks of his parents, he thinks of fighting. He thinks of his father calling him useless and his mother calling him an idiot. He thinks of his mother calling his father dirt and his father calling his mother a bitch.

There are never any apologies. "I'm sorry" is never said in the Harrington house, even when the board gets reset.

They say "I got you pizza for dinner." "I saw this at the store and thought of you." "Do you want to come with me to get gas?"

And with that, the ticking starts up again.

Horrible things are said when the board blows up. Steve says horrible things when the board blows up. He's called his father an asshole and his mother self-absorbed and apologized without any apology at all.

He cleaned the pool instead.

Steve doesn't want to the board to blow up in the middle of the Munson trailer. It's why he's keeping his mouth shut while Eddie yells at him.

"What the hell, Stevie?" Eddie shouts, arms flying. "I told you that you can’t do that!"

“You told me you don’t want me to,” Steve says, staying calm and measured.

Calm and measured. Not blowing up. Steve isn’t going to snap or shout or bitch. He isn’t.

“Fucking semantics!”

“They were saying-”

“I don’t care what they were saying!” Eddie roars. “I don’t give a shit what they say about me!”

It’s true. Wayne calls Eddie “Teflon,” says that nothing sticks to him, least of all anyone’s opinion. Steve knows that Eddie doesn’t care about what most people in Hawkins think about him.

But he cares very much about what the people who care about him think.

Steve can say a whole lot of things right now. He’s angry, physically biting his tongue to ground himself. He can say a whole lot of things to cut Eddie to the bone, to end the argument and then some.

But he won’t.

Love is knowing how to hurt someone and choosing not to. It’s using a knife to split an apple to share instead of to cut skin to ribbons.

Steve can’t trust himself not to slash Eddie open. He says awful things when everything goes to hell like this, snaps back hard when snapped at first, operates purely on instinct.

He doesn’t want to hurt Eddie, so he keeps his mouth shut.

“I care that you could have gotten hurt when you swung at those assholes,” Eddie continues. “I care that I wasn’t there with you when you defended yourself. I care that you won’t let me take a look at your hands and make sure they’re alright.”

Steve squeezes the knuckles of this right hand in his left. It stings, but he’s fine. Nothing broken. He knows from experience

“Stop it, you’re hurting yourself,” Eddie barks.

Steve lets go of his hands, lets them hang loosely at his sides.

“So, what the hell, sweetheart?” Eddie asks, still loud, still snappish.

A variety of terrible answers surges to the front of Steve’s mind. Eddie’s biggest insecurities, the things he’s only told Steve when he thought he was asleep. Ways to wipe the anger off his face and replace it with stuff easier to manage: shock, hurt, sadness. Things he would say if he didn’t particularly like Eddie, if he were still in high school, if he were still in his parents’ house.

Steve doesn’t say anything. He keeps the knife in its drawer. He closes his eyes tight and breathes in once, then again.

“Hey,” Eddie says, softer.

Steve opens his eyes to find him a step closer, hands up in surrender.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie says.

Oh.

Well.

Steve doesn’t know what to do with that.

He’s said it before. Of course he has. He knows the words, knows that he needed to say them to Dustin and Robin and Max, and he has. He’s stepped too far with jokes and forgot about some things and missed some things they’ve said.

But he’s never yelled at them. They’ve never yelled at him.

This is not how this is supposed to go. Eddie isn’t supposed to apologize. He’s supposed to clean Steve up or make him dinner or invite him along to go grocery shopping.

And Steve was supposed to snap back.

“It’s okay,” he says because that’s what he’s supposed to say, yeah?

Eddie shakes his head. “It’s not. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

“It was bound to happen.”

Eddie stares at him, big doe eyes shining, like he has five heads. It makes Steve want to put his bloody hands behind his back, make him shrink.

He swears he can hear ticking, but the board just reset. Didn’t it?

“What?” Eddie asks.

Steve shrugs. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not. I got scared, but that doesn’t mean I get to yell at you. That’s not okay.”

What does Eddie get to do, if not yell?

I deserve it, Steve thinks, but he’s smart enough to know that saying that out loud will just lead to another fight.

There’s been barely any time to put the pieces back.

Steve doesn’t get it. But, he figures he’s always been a little slow on the uptake, so he can watch. Observe. Figure it out later on his own. He’s pretty good at that.

“Okay,” Steve says.

“Okay?”

“Yeah,” he says, and he holds his hands out for Eddie to take.

He’s dragged along to the sink, where Eddie rinses the cuts out with cool water before bandaging them up with the remnants of a box of Band-Aids from the bathroom. When they’re dry and finished, he presses a kiss to each knuckle, feather light.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, looking at Steve very seriously.

“Me, too,” Steve says, voice a little hoarse. “I’m sorry.”

It feels good to say. It feels good to mean.

Standing there in the kitchen of a trailer in Forest Hills, looking at the mismatched furniture and half-full ashtrays of the living room, holding hands with his boyfriend formerly accused of murder and apologizing for the first time and meaning it, Steve feels like he can finally breathe.

The ticking has finally stopped, and silence sounds so sweet.

#ria writes #steddie #steddie ficlet #st #st ficlet #stranger things #stranger things ficlet #steve harrington #eddie munson #angst #fluff #happy ending #tw verbal abuse #(it’s in the past)#idk what else to tag this #i’m tired #anyways it’s projection hours

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wu-does-art · 1 year

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will probably had a very interesting talk with mike later.

#im so tired why did i decide to do this #stranger things #stranger things fanart #byler #mike wheeler #st mike wheeler #will byers #byler fanart #mike wheeler stranger things #st mike #st will #mike gets boofed on weed he didnt even mean to have and all his repressed and suppressed thoughts spill out #a comic thats qlso a parody of that one post/thing we all know #also ily guys who write your opinions in the tags- i want you to know i read all of them-

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rendevok · 1 year

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The sensation of waking up next to you ❤️💙

+bonus doodle:

…and they mimir’d happily ever after the end. ❤️

(ID under cut!)

Miles is roused from sleep by sunlight shining on his face. Slowly, his eyes adjust to the light, until finally, his scope of awareness broadens to a body he had been sleeping on.

Page 2

Miles looks up to the figure that holds him, and upon seeing, his eyes widen in recognition.

The bottom panel of the page shows minimal details of a window shedding light onto the bed and blankets as seen from a higher view in the room.

Page 3

On the other side of the bed, Phoenix rests, his head propped by the headboard. His hair is messy from sleep, and his expression is thoughtful. The light of the morning highlights his features.

The sun shines through the blinds of the window.

Phoenix finally notices his observer, and turns to look at him.

Page 4

Phoenix takes Miles’ hand in his, and lifts it to gently kiss the ring on Miles’ finger. They both move to share a kiss, and their hands shift to hold one another. Miles’ ring sparkles in the sunlight.

Page 5

They link their fingers as they kiss, and the morning creates a quiet atmosphere around them.

They part, but remain close, their fingers fully interlocked. Phoenix greets “Good morning,” with a tender, loving expression as he looks at Miles. Miles’ own expression is soft, unguarded, and fixed on Phoenix.

Page 6

Phoenix and Miles settle back into their shared bed; the morning sun illuminates them. They both smile softly, seeming happy and at peace. Miles rests his head under Phoenix’s neck, and his hand on Phoenix’s chest. One of Phoenix’s hands rests over Miles’ own on his chest, while his other hand holds Miles closer, revealing a matching ring of his own. Both rings shine softly in the sunlight.

Bonus image

A small simple drawing of Phoenix and Miles having fallen asleep again while holding each other as in the final page of the comic.

End ID.]

#narumitsu #wrightworth #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #ace attorney #this is so sappy i nearly choked the entire time i was drawing it #aa #fan art #smooches #ah yes my favorite tag <3 #rendevok #this is vaguely set post AA5 but i truly have no timeline in mind i just want them married #like ding DONG bitches get ur shit together aren’t u tired of pining??? it’s time to go apeshitt and furiously makeout #i’m going to start mashing them together like dolls i dont care anymore!!!#NRMTS KISS RIGHT NOW OR IM BITING BOTH OF YOU #(a win win situation for me)#anyway if you can’t tell i am deeply in love with phoenix and projecting onto miles so hard #who doesn’t love making him down horrendous for a little flavor?#image description and alt text are the same because i suck at those still #writing that out was deeply embarrassing for me bc for whatever reason writing it out is something WAY more visceral than drawing it #i wish to evaporate nobody look at me unless you want to talk about them kissiing more then my dms are open

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sapphicyanli · 28 days

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truly rare netflix w for casting the gayest person in the natla cast as zuko. literally couldnt get any better than this

#BEFORE ANYONE TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY I VERY MUCH ACKNOWLEDGE DALLAS LIU IS INDEED IS A GREAT AND HARDWORKING ACTOR THIS IS A JOKE #that being said #THE WAY HE SAID “come slide through the fire nation” ?!?!?!? INSANE FELLA BEHAVIOR RIGHT THERE #ian was SWEATING #the rest of natla cast seeing them flirting in every chance they get: imagine how tired we are🙄😒#dallas liu #ian ousley #tagging this as #zukka #as well because maybe it will inspire more ppl to eventually write that actors!zukka au we all need😷#zuko confident gay-sokka panicked gay is also kind of an underrated ish trope #mine #natla #atla #interview #🤨🏳️‍🌈❓

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turtleblogatlast · 4 months

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[ cw: risk taking behavior / circumstantial self harm kinda / ignoring of injuries / self-depreciation / slight ooc-ness but for a reason! / ]

Post invasion, Leo is fine.

More than fine! He’s better than before, even. That is, if you don’t count the slightly cracked shell and still healing bones, but those are only a problem when the weather wants them to be!

Leo really is better in the ways that matter.

He’s not as cocky, not as self-centered, and overall just more heroic in general if he does say so himself.

Raph even said he was proud of Leo!

So obviously things are going well.

But.

It’s not enough.

Leo’s better, sure, but he’s still got work to do.

So - and here’s something that will probably make his brothers faint on the spot - he needs to train.

_____

His brothers do not faint, but it’s a near thing for Raph. Mikey has to fan the snapper’s face and Donnie almost brings out the smelling salts before Raph shoots back to his feet with an excited grin.

Leo’s big brother gets teary eyed soon after and envelops him in a bear hug, saying once again how proud he is that Leo is growing up.

Leo lets himself be hugged, even hugs back as fiercely as he can, because unbeknownst to Raph, this marks the end of Leo’s childhood.

He lets himself be hugged like a kid one last time, looking through the hole in Raph’s shell all the while.

_____

Leo only trains the regular way with his brothers and occasionally April and the Caseys, but most especially Raph.

But of course that’s not enough, it was never going to be.

So he goes through the motions of the stretches, the spars, the meditation, and then he leaves.

He makes sure to have his excuses ready, usually defaulting to Hueso as his go to since his brothers are easily bought off with the promise of pizza. Leo hasn’t yet found the tracker Donnie installed in him, but when he does that’ll be dealt with too! But for now, this should be good.

See, the invasion made him realize something.

It’s not about him, but it was his shortcomings that led to everything going to hell.

So he just…needs to get rid of those shortcomings.

He’s working on it, gaining fighting skill in training, but there’s more he needs to do, more skills he needs to train.

Leo watches intently as Repo Mantis swindles someone, he memorizes the sleight of hand that Hypno performs, he sneaks back into the Mystic Library and is so quiet the hush bats forget he’s there, he talks Big Mama into honing his manipulation, and he even sneaks into human hospitals and reptile veterinary clinics to get a clue on more serious injuries.

And after any of these, he heads to Run of the Mill to compete in the Maze of Death.

_____

This is his twelfth time going through the (newly remodeled and even more deadly) Maze of Death, and would be his fifth time winning. The first three times had him waking up in Hueso’s office, and each time he wakes his old persona shines through.

He always waves off Hueso’s annoyance and questions and insists on trying again next time before he steals some pizza and bails.

The skeleton actively tries to stop him from entering the Maze after the first time, but hey- mystics are allowed before you enter.

It’s easy enough to teleport on by.

Harder to meet Hueso’s - and later his brothers’ - eyes when he fails again.

When he first actually won, Hueso congratulates him in that typical deadpan tone of his.

“Ah, felicidades, Pepino. Now you can move on, sí?”

“Hm? Nah, boneman! That run was sloppy!”

And then Leo runs off before Hueso can stop him.

He doesn’t even look at his picture on the champion wall when he next comes around. It’s not much to look at anyway.

_____

His second win is much like the first, and only his third win is actually acceptable.

But he knows the field too much now. He needs a challenge.

When he attempts to go through it blindfolded, he’s quickly shown how much he doesn’t know the Maze. So, obviously, he loses again.

He got a bit more banged up that time around.

“Pepino, basta ya, you’ve already won. Where are your brothers?”

“I can’t stop yet, señor! This is for my brothers - no les digas, please.”

Even if Hueso wanted to tell Leo’s brothers, they haven’t been in enough for him to get to, and it’s not like Hueso has their number since Leo’s the one Hueso usually contacts. For now, Leo’s safe to continue as is.

Though his injuries are getting harder to hide, and there’s only so much his shell in particular can take.

So to speed things up, he incorporates the blindfold into his regular training.

His brothers question it, of course, but hey, he initially got the idea from seeing Lou Jitsu do it in the third best Lou Jitsu movie, so it comes as a great excuse now.

He’s only a little put off by how fast Mikey adapts to it when the others try.

“I dunno-“ Mikey shrugs when asked, “You guys shine so brightly anyway, a mask doesn’t do much.”

Seeing their mystic energies is pretty cool, Leo can admit.

He just wishes he could grasp that himself - and that it was useful for a death maze.

_____

Leo’s training pulls off eventually, and soon, after a few more losses, he wins a forth time. But it’s a near loss, and a near loss is the difference between someone living and dying.

He’s gotta go again.

Hueso’s more insistent than ever, though.

“You must stop, Pepino.”

“But I can do better-“

“You don’t have to! Your shell is bleeding - ¡por tu propio bien, poner fin a esto!”

“I told you, this is for their own good! For everyone’s own good!”

He forgets the pizzas when he leaves. He claims sickness when he hides under his covers.

He ignores how childish the act makes him feel.

_____

Leo’s getting better, and his reflexes and tact in training shows this. His other training of his subterfuge and medical skills also prove to be useful.

He’s pretty good at hiding injuries, now! Though not so good at hiding a pained shell. Even Donnie looks at him with blatant concern (and understanding) when Leo can’t help but take a sharp breath whenever he lands on his back.

It’s hard not to go right back into waving everything off with jokes like he used to. Deflections are easier when they’re annoying!

But- this is just another reason that he needs to get better, right? So his brothers won’t worry. He doesn’t need the spotlight anymore - he’s over that, thanks.

He squashes down the part of him that perks up when Splinter says he’s growing up. He actively kills the part of himself that cries at the same phrase.

_____

So. Yeah. This’ll be his twelfth time running the Maze. And, hopefully, his fifth win. Maybe he really will move on after this.

The Hidden City is pretty big! There’s probably a bigger challenge somewhere.

Maybe Big Mama has a more secret Nexus hidden away, out of the public eye.

Well, whatever. That’s a future problem for him to figure out, yeah? For now, he carries on like usual, teleporting to the entrance of the Maze and diving right in.

Even blindfolded, he works his way through, dodging and weaving and feeling as he goes. He even tries to evoke his inner Mikey and calls on his mystic energy. Not enough to cheat, but enough to feel.

Usually, when Leo teleports, he swears he feels every part of himself disperse into particles. Now, with energy thrumming under his scales, he can feel particles everywhere.

It’s not refined enough to tell him everything, and he gets a fun new burn and a nice whack to the back by getting distracted. Still, it gives him more than he had before. It makes him more aware of everything, like he licked a finger and held it in the air to feel the direction of wind, but every direction blew wind, all in different ways.

He makes it to the end with minimal injuries after that, and sure, his shell is screaming at him now, but he thinks he did a shell of a good job.

…Ah, he needs to cut that out, huh? Man. Maybe Donnie’s collar idea was a good call after all.

Leo needs to be a hero. Not a face man. Not a failure.

Not a kid.

_____

Leo doesn’t smile when the Minotaur takes his picture again for the champion wall, and he doesn’t listen when she tells him to “go home and never come back.”

He doesn’t plan to, anyway, yeesh.

He’s tired as he trudges out of the exit, and Hueso catches him when he stumbles.

Hueso doesn’t say anything. Leo doesn’t either.

Or, he doesn’t, until he feels a familiar large hand helping him up as well.

Leo’s face whips up as he flinches back, eyes wide as they meet with a worried (so, so worried) Raph’s.

“You told them?” Leo asks Hueso in betrayal, heart thudding wildly in his chest.

“Pepino…”

“Told us what?” Mikey pipes up from behind Raph, coming closer to get a better look at Leo, “Leo, what’s going on?”

“Your shell has been having pretty big setbacks on its healing, is this why?” Donnie demands, glaring fiercely as he motions toward the Maze.

Leo feels unmoored. “I-“

“Leo.” Raph interrupts, and no Leo doesn’t want to hear it- “Are you okay?”

And Leo wants to say “it’s not about me”. He wants to say anything that proved he learned his lesson, that he’s not a liability or worse, an active danger to his own family.

He wants Raph to continue being proud of him. He wants his brothers to trust him.

Instead, he passes out.

_____

The next time his eyes open, Leo’s on his side, staring at his blue lava lamp.

He knows without looking that his shell is re-bandaged. He knows his other injuries have been dealt with too.

And unless Leo learned how to do some pretty impressive medical sleepwalking, he knows he’s not getting away this time.

All three of his brothers being in his room prove that.

“What’s been going on, Leo?” Mikey asks, and his voice cracks partway through.

He’s looking at Leo like he’s searching for something, but Leo doesn’t have anything to show. Nothing’s hidden, he just did some light spring cleaning is all, throwing out all the parts he didn’t need.

All the parts they didn’t need.

And yet despite everything, he can feel himself falling back into old ways, a grin tugging at his beak and lackadaisical deflection on the tip of his tongue.

Maybe he should let that part of him show, just for once. It wouldn’t seem like too much of a setback would it? And he could really use a fun pun right about now-

No.

No it’s not about him. He needs to remember why he did all this in the first place.

“Okay- sorry, guys.” He smiles, softly, quietly, “I guess I got too caught up in training. I’ll work at it some more, don’t worry.”

“Oh, I see. Training. That’s all it was, huh? Training.” Donnie hisses more than says, nearly vibrating in anger.

“…yeah?” Leo nods slowly, because, uh, that’s literally the most honest thing he said. It was training.

“If it’s just “training” then why the secrecy, hm? Why in Curie’s good name did you prefer to sneak around rather than, oh, I don’t know, tell your family?”

Leo feels his shoulders rise at Donnie’s aggression, defensiveness welling up in him, “It was my training! Nothing went wrong, I’m getting better!”

“Better?” Raph asks incredulously, “Leo, you’re wasting away. A tap to the shell stuns you for minutes, you lost weight, and your dark circles are worse than Raph’s ever seen them! You aren’t getting better-!”

“YES I AM!”

The words rip out of Leo before he can stop them.

The room is silent as his brother look at him, all wearing expressions of hurt that Leo put there again.

“Yes I am.” Leo reiterates, shaking, “Because- if I’m not-“ He squeezes his eyes shut. “If I’m not-“

Then what was all this for?

Arms slowly wrap around him, and he knows now from the feel of the mystic that it’s Mikey.

“You’ve gotten faster, and sneakier.” Mikey says quietly. “When I accidentally cut my hand, you knew exactly how to take care of it.” His voice grows firm, and he backs out of the hug, “But those are your skills. You, though, you’ve been…you’ve been…”

“You’ve been dilapidating before our very eyes, and trying to hide it.” Donnie finishes, jaw tight. “You think we wouldn’t notice? After everything?” To Leo’s horror, Donnie’s voice is hoarse with tears, “You absolute dumb dumb.”

“I- but I need to train. The Maze is-“

“Leo, we don’t care that you ran through the Maze. We care you did it alone.” Raph says quietly. “We could have joined you, any time.”

“But- but I’m doing this for you-“

“Listen to your brothers, Blue.” They jump as a new voice joins the fray, heads turning to see Splinter make his way into the - frankly crowded - room.

“Dad, I-“ Leo begins, but trails off, suddenly more unsure than ever in the face of his father.

“It’s good you’re finally picking up training! Especially for your brothers’ sakes! But there’s such a thing as going overboard, you know.” Splinter pokes a sharp claw into Leo’s plastron, “Just because you’re dragging it out this time, doesn’t make this any less of a sacrifice. My son, you’ve taken after Karai an awful lot, haven’t you?”

Leo just looks at his father. At his brothers. Then, he looks down at his calloused hands, bandaged and scarred from overuse.

He swallows dryly. “Is that a bad thing?”

He feels his family crowd in around him, feels his father’s hand on his shoulder.

“It’s not wrong to want to be better, Leonardo.” Splinter says, softly and with so much grief and guilt that Leo can never begin to understand, “But you were never bad to begin with.”

Leo’s breath hitches.

“And-” Splinter’s hands rise up to frame Leo’s face. “You are much too young to ever consider sacrifice the best answer.”

“You got me to relax, Leo. So I’ll do the same for you.” Raph grins, eyes wet, “We’re still kids, right?”

And-

Leo smiles, watery but genuine. “Yeah, Raph. We are.”

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #rise fanfic #WHOOPS #did not mean to write all this #my only regret is not including April #anyway I was like wow Leo sure is acting different at the end of the movie huh #then I thought hey he’s actually acting a lot like previous iterations of Leo rn #then I ran with it and tripped down the stairs in the process #thus this was born!#I am tired so more tags later #but dang oops a bit too angsty gotta do smth lighthearted soon huh #also yes he DOES go back and apologize for putting Hueso through so much #he gets a smack on the head and a head pat immediately after #‘don’t do it again Pepino - not until I finally get the Maze shut down’ ‘okay wait what-‘

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pollyanna-nana · 4 months

Text

“I can’t help anyone…”

An analysis of Kieran and how it relates to his most controversial scene.

Warning for Indigo Disk DLC spoilers ahead

——————

Greetings! I’ve made it no secret that, despite what some people think of him, I am very fond of Kieran Pokémon’s little emo ass. As a result, when perusing the tags I’ve been bombarded with a lot of very… questionable takes regarding his personality and character, which I simply do not agree with. In particular, I’ve seen a lot of interpretations of a specific scene that I don’t think get at the heart of the story and have some fundamental misunderstandings of the subtextual clues we’re given about how Kieran and Carmine were raised, and I wanted to take the opportunity to present my own interpretations and how I have come to understand this young boy’s complex journey to self acceptance.

This scene, right here, has been the source of many specific complaints I’ve seen regarding Kieran’s character. I’ve seen people saying that his actions here make him a bully, that he’s shaming a fellow student for having troubles at home, and generally is an unpleasant, entitled person. And while I think there’s definitely some truth to those points (and they make him all the more interesting…) I don’t think a lot of these people are thinking about what this scene is really trying to tell us.

Yes, it’s showing the player that Kieran has changed since we last saw him. That his shy, kind demeanor has been supplanted by a stark cruelty that was hinted at in the end of Teal Mask, and that we have reason to fear and fear for him. However. I would argue that it also serves to tell us more about what Kieran himself has dealt with as a student at Blueberry academy. Specifically...

Kieran’s struggle with identity and self worth.

From the earliest segments of Teal Mask, we get strong indications that Kieran has quite the inferiority complex. Worse still, said feelings are reinforced by the people around him, knowingly or not. Here, when Carmine tells us that Kieran's "nearly as strong as she is", we know she simply means to compliment us in her own Carmine-ish way. However, purposefully or not, it reinforces Kieran's idea as someone who is always, at best, almost good enough. Almost as strong as his sister. Never as or more.

He tells the player that he'll hang back, not wanting to get in our way. With no prior prompting, either. How many times has he been made to feel that he was a burden? I adore Carmine, but one of her most pressing flaws is her struggle to make Kieran feel loved and wanted. Which, is actually pretty normal between siblings as she herself is a child. But still, given how much Kieran clearly loves and respects her, her words hold a lot of weight. And it's only Carmine who we get to see treat Kieran this way. While it's possible it's coming almost entirely from her, I'll discuss later why I think it may be more complicated than that. For now, though, it's clear that Kieran himself thinks very lowly of his abilities and would rather stay out of people's way, lest they berate him for perceived inadequacies.

He's had problematic behavior modeled for him by Carmine.

Here, too, we see how Carmine's treatment of him reinforced some very negative ideas of interpersonal conflict and resolution. All throughout Teal Mask, Carmine is telling him to shut up and be quiet, and does what she thinks is best for him without consideration for how it may make him feel. No physical violence, but emotional abuse is abuse all the same. While we know that she was ultimately trying to do what was best for him, and had very good reasons for keeping secrets, its undeniable that the words she used only further reinforced the idea that the strong will push around the weak, and that they have no need for anyone who falls behind in some way.

This scene in particular is fascinating, as we get to see first hand the kind of dynamic that pushed his feelings of inadequacy towards the breaking point. Here, after the player and Carmine run into Ogerpon for the first time, he thinks her weird behavior is because they were making fun of him. It's already sad that he would jump to that conclusion, but then Carmine smiles through his entire dialogue and says nothing. No reassurance, no denial, nothing. Kieran walked away from this conversation thinking that his sister and his new friend were talking about how much they dislike him. Speaking from personal experience, constantly feeling like people are talking about you behind your back at a young age can lead to you becoming brutally honest in a maladaptive way, and it can lead to people thinking you're cruel and unkind because you refuse to keep your thoughts to yourself.

Generational trauma, neurodivergence and cycles of abuse.

Here is where we leave screenshot land for a bit and I talk more about things that I suspect to be true, but cannot ultimately prove. However, I ask that you bear with me here and consider what may be going on above the heads of the child protagonists in a children's video game. (After all, if some people can write whole essays comparing Kieran's behavior to some very serious real-world events... I think I am within my right here!)

Kieran and Carmine, to me, match very strongly with the idea that they came from a bad home life. I don't necessarily mean their grandparents, as they seem nice enough (though flawed), but instead that their parents, whoever they were, contributed substantially to their strained relationship and problematic behavior. This post may seem very Carmine-negative, but I actually do not blame her for what she's done, not really. I do think that she has the agency and experience to take responsibility for how she's treated her brother, but I also think that it is something that was modeled for her by her parents, caretakers and teachers. I think it's very important to keep in mind in all conversations about these two that negative behaviors like these rarely manifest out of the ether. When I see child characters acting this way, I think less "wow, what horrible people!" and more "who in your life is modeling this kind of behavior for you?"

Full disclosure: I am an older sister myself, and my younger sister is very close to me in age in the same way that I see Carmine and Kieran as being. I see a lot of myself in her, which is why I deeply understand her frame of mind in everything here. Being expected to be the emotionally mature one in a sibling dynamic is difficult when you're so close in age, and it can lead to a lot of frustration as you feel like you're made to grow up too fast while your younger sibling is shielded from responsibility. It also doesn't help if the adults in your life model a lot of negative behavior, especially power dynamics, and if you have any sort of neurodivergency.

Speaking of... I wholeheartedly agree with the interpretations of the siblings having some combination of autism, ADHD, BPD or several other potential conditions. I won't go into depth, but without question there's something going on with them that's both untreated and misunderstood by those around them. Which, makes a lot of sense considering where they come from. Kitakami is a small nation, mostly agriculture based, and Carmine in particular is very resistant to the idea of it becoming a tourist destination for wealthier countries. They may not have the resources and infrastructure, along with cultural awareness, to properly diagnose and treat certain mental health conditions. Kieran doesn't even have a phone!

Something I don't see mentioned often is how Kieran and Carmine being at Blueberry is more than likely a very isolating experience for both. Being at a prestigious school in Poke-America, when coming from rural Poke-Japan, must've been a very difficult transition. Given that it doesn't seem like ANY of the adults in their lives are interested in their mental and physical well-being, I can only imagine that exacerbated their already existing issues. Not to mention that the culture of BB seems to be overly concerned with strength in battles, it's no wonder that both children's worst traits were made to fester over time.

Entitlement and disenfranchisement

Okay, enough of that. Back to screenshots. Here I want to talk about how some people interpret Kieran as being bratty and entitled, and while I don't necessarily disagree, I think with the context of everything previously laid out in this post that it's a lot deeper than simple entitlement. We know, from his own words, that all he wants is acceptance, independence, and meaningful human connections. To him, that comes in the form of strong pokemon (acceptance at the academy), going anywhere he wants (feeling empowered and self-confident), and being able to make friends with "anyone". Any friends at all, really.

While his "I worked so hard, and for what?! I STILL lost in the end!" can feel petulant and whiny, it also cuts deep for anyone who has grown up without. I think it's very important to note that Kieran is at precisely the age when systemic inequalities really start to weigh on someone, and before the brain and life experiences are developed enough to handle it in a healthy way. While some cope better than others, for many around this age the weight of knowing that there are people out there who simply have more than you ever will not by any sort of effort or triumph, but rather than the dumb luck of birth into a wealthy, privileged setting... well, it can be crushing.

It's something most grow out of, but for a kid like Kieran, who was so obsessed with the story of a genuine injustice (Ogerpon vs. the 'loyal' three), is it any wonder that he would react this way? The player is a particularly extreme example, of course, as protagonist powers are some real bullshit. Coming to terms with the fact that the system has failed him, but he can still achieve great things and become a person he can be proud of, is something that will probably only come with time and wisdom as it does for most of us. In the interim, though, petty teenage tantrums are to be more or less expected.

Feeling powerless.

In case you think I'm extrapolating far too much, I think it's important to note that, after the severe shock that was Terapagos breaking out of its own ball, Kieran reinforces all of these ideas himself. Here, when Carmine is begging him to help you, he refuses not because of hatred of you but rather his own self-doubt and loathing. Which, ultimately, has always been the core of everything Kieran has done up to this point in Indigo Disk's plot. He believed so strongly that if only he could become stronger, then he could prove to everyone, and more importantly himself, that he was worthy of taking up space and achieving his own dreams. But it's here, when everything truly comes crashing down around him, that the facade slips and shows Kieran as he truly is- a little boy who feels helpless in his current circumstances.

I've seen people say that when he cries after becoming determined to help you defeat Terapagos, it's out of jealousy or anger. However, I couldn't disagree more. The light returning to his eyes shows, in my view, that Kieran feels hope for the first time since he had his dreams crushed back in Teal Mask. That, even though he feels powerless, even though he's hurt people and hurt himself, he's still wanted. That he can do something meaningful, even if it's just cleaning up the mess he helped to make. (Briar don't think I've forgotten about you. You're the most culpable in this situation given you're the only adult- but I digress.)

In conclusion.

He bapy.

No but really, what does all of this even mean? I think going back and reading the conversation at the start of the post, especially if you were initially put off by it, with the context outlined here changes a lot about how one can interpret Kieran's behavior. Note that I am not trying to justify anything he said or did, but rather point out that this fictional child has some serious, unresolved issues that deserve time and thought turned towards them, especially in the way that they reflect real-world individuals and systems. Ultimately, if you want my opinion I think Kieran would be a pretty nasty person to know in real life if I was in school still, but you know what? So was I at his age. And so were most people, if I'm being honest. But that doesn't tarnish a person forever. All of life isn't high school, even though Kieran- or you, reading this right now- may feel like it is. He has a lot of growing up to do, but that's life. And in the meantime, he sure is one hell of an interesting character to follow.

#polly speaks #polly writes #pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #indigo disk #indigo disk spoilers #teal mask #pokemon kieran #rival kieran #pokemon carmine #kieran posting #character analysis #tw bullying #tw abuse #ask to tag #im tired. anyway im going grocy shopping anyone want anything from tjs

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