Hold me close and don’t let go
Leah Williamson x reader, Lucy Bronze x platonic reader.
Warnings - Angst, Hurt and comfort, Fluff, Mental health struggles
Summary - Reader struggles with depression and Leah is there for them
A/N - Feel free to send in requests! Leah’s acl injury is not a thing in this fic 🫡
———
Depression.
Something that you had struggled with since your late teens, and something that Leah and the rest of the Lionesses were very aware of.
You had your ups and downs, usually you done quite well to tell when a down was about to hit you and you were able to let the necessary people know - Leah, your close friends, the staff at England, and your therapist.
This time, however, was different.
It hit you out of nowhere, drowning you like you had just fallen into a body of water with rocks tied to your ankles. You were exhausted, your body ached, and your mind was a mix between numbness and breathtaking sadness.
Today was the start of the last England camp before the World Cup, and you didn’t want any chance of not being selected so you did your best to cover your black eyes from the night of minimal sleep with makeup and practiced your fake smile.
There was one issue - the girl that knew you best, the girl who could see through you like you were a piece of glass, the girl who was the England captain, the girl who also happened to be your girlfriend. Leah.
You hadn’t seen her in a couple of weeks since you played for Aston Villa while she played for Arsenal. This meant that she hadn’t actually seen you, purely due to you giving excuses of being busy with your team in order to get out of facetiming her. You knew she’d think something was up, especially when she saw you at camp.
———
“Baby!”
Leah shouted with a massive grin on her face after she saw you walk through the doors. You put on a smile, something that you didn’t have to fake too much since you were actually quite happy to see your girlfriend.
“Le.” You said in a more reserved tone, walking over to her and immediately sinking into the comfort of her muscular arms.
Leah could immediately tell something was up with you, with how quiet you were and how exhausted your eyes looked. She pulled you slightly away so she could hold your shoulders and look at you in the eyes.
“What’s wrong?” She asked, she studied your face with her signature frown etched onto her own.
Your smile faltered slightly as Leah studied you, quickly putting it back on. “I’m okay, Le. Tired.” You whispered.
Leah’s face didn’t seem satisfied with your answer, her brow furrowed further and her hands pulled you further into her body.
“You know that’s not true, Y/N/N.” She whispered in response, wanting to keep this conversation between yourselves - for now at least. “Talk to me.” She continued while she walked you both to the corner of the room, away from any looking eyes.
You shook your head. “Leah, just…not now, okay?”
“No. Not okay, you look horrible love.”
You managed to laugh slightly, though it was a mere pathetic puff of air out of your nostrils. “Cheers.”
Leah rolled her eyes before going back to her serious demeanour. “You know what I meant. You’re still my beautiful girl…but you just don’t look you.”
An awkward silence hung in the air before Leah decided to speak again, her left hand resting on your upper arm in a comforting manner.
“You’re having another down, aren’t you?”
Before you could respond you were saved by the bell. Sarina had called you all and it was no coincidence that you hurried over, Leah sighing at the horrible timing.
———
This camp you were roomed with your usual teammate, Lucy Bronze.
Lucy was a good friend of yours, with her slightly mentoring you when you moved up to the senior team. She was also someone that knew you well, but not as well as Leah did.
“Right mate, I’m gonna unpack then head for a shower” Lucy said while you laid down on your bed, spacing out slightly.
When Lucy didn’t get a response from you she turned around to see you staring out of the window.
“Mate?”
You snapped out of your daze, facing Lucy with a small smile. “Yeah, yeah that’s fine.” You nodded, not really knowing what Lucy had said before.
She walked over to you, sitting on the edge of your bed. “Are you alright?” She asked, noticing that there was something off about you.
You nodded. “Yeah, I‘ve just been struggling to sleep recently. Nothing too big.”
Lucy nodded hesitantly before she stood up from your bed and walked back over to her small suitcase.
“Okay…well just make sure to get a decent sleep then. Can’t have you sloppy” Lucy said in a more lighthearted tone, trying to erase the negative cloud that had entered the room.
“Of course Luce, don’t worry. I’ll have an early night.” You reassured her, knowing that tonight was probably going to be another one with minimal sleep.
The next day you somehow woke up more tired than the last. You hadn’t gotten to sleep until 3am, you were up just staring at the dark ceiling while Lucy was fast asleep in the bed next to yours.
You could tell she was concerned with her constant checking up on you but you didn’t think she was concerned enough to do anything, you just kept reassuring her that you were just tired.
Leah also hadn’t relented, your phone pinging with texts that you only gave one word answers to. You missed her, a lot. However, you knew if you fell into her arms one more time you would break down in tears and you couldn’t let that happen on the run up to the World Cup.
That morning after breakfast, Lucy went to find Leah before training started.
“Is Y/N okay?” Lucy asked her with a concerned look in her eyes. You were already out on the pitch with a couple of the girls.
Leah looked up from her boots to see Lucy standing over her. Immediately she sat up straight, the same exact look in her own eyes.
“Honestly, I don’t think so.” She replied with a shake of her head. “Has she been okay with you?” Leah asked Lucy before standing up.
“I mean…she’s not been upset or anything, she just looks very tired. Been spacing out a lot too.”
Leah knew for sure you were struggling, grimacing at the thought of her girlfriend feeling so sad. “Shit.” She whispered.
Lucy looked confused. “Okay mate?”
“Nah, she’s having a down.” Leah replied with a sad look on her face, Lucy immediately getting the severity of the situation.
After their little conversation, Leah and Lucy both ran outside to the training pitch. You were none the wiser on what the two had just discussed, however you now felt two very concerned eyes on you throughout training.
Everyone could tell something was off with you. You were having a hard time in training, your passes were sloppy, and you didn’t look like you were enjoying yourself at all.
———
Your sloppy training and obvious low mood went on for a couple of days. Leah and Lucy were getting more and more concerned about you.
After seeing your performance over the week Leah knew that she was going to have to speak to Sarina about this, both as your girlfriend and as the captain. She knew you’d be pissed but she also hoped you would understand where she was coming from.
“Y/N? Could we have a quick chat?”
You looked up from your dinner to see Sarina standing next to your table with a warm smile on your face. You nodded before standing up, Leah promising to tidy up your things for you while you were away.
Sarina walked you to her small office and invited you to sit down with a smile.
“So, how are you feeling?” She asked you after you both got settled.
You nodded, putting that fake smile back on your face. You were confused about what was happening but you weren’t going to question your manager.
“I’m feeling good, eager to get out there.”
Sarina’s smile turned into a more sympathetic smile as she heard your answer. “Okay, let me ask you a different question. How have you been feeling…mentally?”
Your face went pale and your mouth dry as you heard her. “Sorry?” You whispered out after a few moments of silence.
She sighed. “People have some concerns.”
You shook your head, not believing this was happening.
“Y/N, the whole team are here for you. You need to talk to someone if you’re struggling, you know this.” She continued.
A tear ran down your face as you realised there was no getting out of this. “I’m sorry.” You whispered in a broken voice.
Sarina handed you a box of tissues before looking at you with sympathetic eyes. “I think it’s best if we take you out of the starting line up for now, just until you get that mind of yours sorted.”
You nodded, wanting nothing more than to just get out of this room. Eventually, Sarina let you leave after coming up with a game plan on how to get you feeling better.
As soon as you left her office you saw Leah standing outside, who visibly deflated as she saw your state.
“Baby…” She whispered as she pulled you into her. You were too sad and tired to even be mad at her, and you subconsciously knew that she had done the right thing.
You managed to keep the majority of your tears in while Leah walked you to her shared room with Georgia, who got the message and left straight away when she saw how upset you were.
As soon as you were on Leah’s bed you broke down completely.
“Y/N/N, shhh.” Leah whispered while you curled up in her arms.
You were a wreck, with snot coming out of your nose and your shoulders shaking with your cries. Leah just held you and whispered sweet nothings in your ear, her previous experience meaning she knew exactly what you needed.
She rocked you slowly in her arms as you gradually calmed down. “I’m here, baby. Not going anywhere.”
Gentle kisses were placed on your skin while she stroked your hair.
“I love you, my girl.” She whispered.
Eventually, your cries turned into sniffles as you calmed down. You face was rested in Leah’s neck, who gently took your head and moved it so you were facing her.
She cupped your cheeks before kissing your forehead lovingly. “Beautiful.” She whispered with a soft smile.
“I’ve got snot all over my face.” You whispered in a shaky voice which made Leah laugh slightly.
“You’re still beautiful.”
You cuddled up next to Leah after you both laid back on her hotel bed, immediately putting your head on her chest with the sound of her heartbeat making you feel like everything was going to be okay.
“I’m sorry for not telling you how I was feeling.” You whispered as you took Leah’s hand and started to play with her fingers.
You felt Leah sigh. “It was rather silly, wasn’t it?” She whispered back, neither of you wanting to break the calm mood.
“I’m going to see someone.”
You smiled as you felt Leah begin to play with your hair. “Good girl, I’m really proud of you.”
That night you had your first good sleep you’d had in weeks, all in the comfort of your lovers arms.
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Iris Barrel Apfel, Decorator and Fashion Stylist
(August 29, 1921 – March 1, 2024)
Ms. Apfel was one of the most vivacious personalities in the worlds of fashion, textiles, and interior design, she has cultivated a personal style that is both witty and exuberantly idiosyncratic.
Her originality was typically revealed in her mixing of high and low fashions—Dior haute couture with flea market finds, nineteenth-century ecclesiastical vestments with Dolce & Gabbana lizard trousers.
With remarkable panache and discernment, she combines colors, textures, and patterns without regard to period, provenance, and, ultimately, aesthetic conventions. Paradoxically, her richly layered combinations—even at their most extreme and baroque—project a boldly graphic modernity.
Iris Barrel was born on Aug. 29, 1921, in Astoria, Queens, the only child of Samuel Barrel, who owned a glass and mirror business, and his Russian-born wife, Sadye, who owned a fashion boutique.
She studied art history at New York University, then qualified to teach and did so briefly in Wisconsin before fleeing back to New York to work on Women's Wear Daily, and for interior designer Elinor Johnson, decorating apartments for resale and honing her talent for sourcing rare items before opening her own design firm. She was also an assistant to illustrator Robert Goodman.
As a distinguished collector and authority on antique fabrics, Iris Apfel has consulted on numerous restoration projects that include work at the White House that spanned nine presidencies from Harry Truman to Bill Clinton.
Along with her husband, Carl, she founded Old World Weavers, an international textile manufacturing company and ran it until they retired in 1992. The Apfels specialized in the reproduction of fabrics from the 17th, 18th, and 19th centuries, and traveled to Europe twice a year in search of textiles they could not source in the United States.
The Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute assembled 82 ensembles and 300 accessories from her personal collection in 2005 in a show about her called “Rara Avis”.
Almost overnight, Ms. Apfel became an international celebrity of pop fashion.
Ms. Apfel was seen in a television commercial for the French car DS 3, became the face of the Australian fashion brand Blue Illusion, and began a collaboration with the start-up WiseWear. A year later, Mattel created a one-of-a-kind Barbie doll in her image. Last year, she appeared in a beauty campaign for makeup with Ciaté London.
Six years after the Met show she started her fashion line "Rara Avis" with the Home Shopping Network.
She was cover girl of Dazed and Confused, among many other publications, window display artist at Bergdorf Goodman, designer and design consultant, then signed to IMG in 2019 as a model at age 97.
Ms. Iris Apfel became a visiting professor at the University of Texas at Austin in its Division of Textiles and Apparel, teaching about imagination, craft and tangible pleasures in a world of images.
In 2018, she published “Iris Apfel: Accidental Icon,” an autobiographical collection of musings, anecdotes and observations on life and style.
Ms. Apfel’s apartments in New York and Palm Beach were full of furnishings and tchotchkes that might have come from a Luis Buñuel film: porcelain cats, plush toys, statuary, ornate vases, gilt mirrors, fake fruit, stuffed parrots, paintings by Velázquez and Jean-Baptiste Greuze, a mannequin on an ostrich.
The Museum of Lifestyle & Fashion History in Boynton Beach, Florida, is designing a building that will house a dedicated gallery of Ms. Apfel's clothes, accessories, and furnishings.
Ms. Apfel’s work had a universal quality, It’s was a trend.
Rest in Power !
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