#withholding

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Examples of Gaslighting

First Things First

#mental health #gaslighting #examples of gaslighting #countering #withholding #trivializing #denial #diverting #stereotyping #take care #relationships #friendships #feel free to share/reblog #First Things First (Facebook)

[nalyra-dreaming]

WAIT OMG! we never actually hear show louis tell lestat that he loves him?? i know i probably sound stupid but i don’t think that’s something i’ve ever truly picked up on until now. i was rewatching some loustat scenes and got extra sad over lestat constantly feeling like he’s rejected and not loved, then it dawned on me that i don’t think louis said it or even showed it?? do you think that type of declaration will happen in future seasons?

this isn’t louis hate btw, i love them both so much

I love them both, too, and yes, ultimately I think we will get it^^.

…. okay this is a bit of a wasp‘s nest, so... fair warning^^.

Quite a while ago the IWTV writer's room (yes they are, or at least were active on Twitter) answered some questions.

One of them was this:

This... produced quite the backlash and made some huge waves around the fandom.

The thing is, Louis withholding and using that withholding (something the writers called "weaponization of language" here is canon behavior in the books, and something Louis in later books apologizes for.

Of course it is all a bit more difficult than the simplified (tweet)answer here. There is for example the added complexity of Louis losing Paul right after saying these words (something that, given this canon behavior does soften (for lack of a better word) said behavior, and as such was very much done on purpose, imho).

In the clip from the "Murder Mansion" we have already seen Armand commenting on the "withholding" as well, so I fully expect the show (aka the writers here) to keep this canon characterization, as they are obviously building on it.

It is something I also touched on the "intimacy post" a while back. Because for Louis and Lestat, in their good times, when they had sex regularly and bit each other during sex... Louis' inability to say the words probably meant next to nothing. Lestat would have been able to read it in the blood.

Only later, when the eating disorder set that fatal downwards spiral off (again, it bears repeating, this is not assigning blame, but it is an important aspect that started with the choice to not eat human anymore) the lack of the said words started to actually weigh on them.

So yes, eventually, the lack of the words was probably very much grating.

And for Louis it might have actually made it impossible to speak them.

Because, from experience^^, when you mean something it can be very, very hard to say that thing, especially if you know you maybe should have said the words earlier, but didn't - for valid reasons - but now... now they just seem unable to pass your tongue.

I think that is something that happened to Louis there. And Lestat probably didn't really feel rejected at first, but more frustrated, then estranged somewhat, mixed with concern, and then anger, and then and then and then... because he loves Louis.

And Louis loves Lestat.

Very much. Too much, maybe. Too much, maybe, for these words.

(Which is also why he and Lestat were both able to so easily say them during murder night, because then... then they were not meant.)

In the books he eventually does put it into words.

… I love you with my whole soul, and I will always love you, [..] you are my life. I have hated you for that and love you now so much that you’ve been my instructor in loving.

...this is from Blood Communion. Since we already know they are taking from that book.... :)

#asks #ask nalyra #amc iwtv #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire amc #iwtv amc #iwtv 2022 #interview with the vampire #lestat de lioncourt #louis de pointe du lac #loustat #iwtv writers #I love you #withholding #weaponizing language

[howifeltabouthim]

She had cried herself to sleep countless times as a child, promising to be better the next day in order to finally win her mother's love. That love had never come, but she had never stopped striving for it.

Anna Biller, from Bluebeard's Castle

#tragic #abusive parent #childhood trauma #domestic abuse #perfectionist #futile #unattainable #withholding #neglect #quotes #lit #words #excerpts #quote #literature #anna biller #bluebeard's castle #devastating #cry yourself to sleep

[hey-its-sybarite]

Lestat is high maintenance and knows it. Louis is high maintenance and thinks he’s low maintenance. Together, they’re insufferable (affectionate).

Ideally they’d find themselves a low maintenance third but Anne Rice only wrote The Most Extra Characters of all time so…

#shrug emoji #high may/high may romance #your honour theyre french tho #hell one is half italian #the drama and crying feedback loop #so extra #louis de pointe du lac #lestat de lioncourt #high maintenance #toxic relationship #withholding #bitchy #loustat #lestat x louis #louis x lestat #canonically #theyre bi4bi #tvc #vc #the vampire chronicles #vampire chronicles #interview with the vampire #the vampire lestat #long-suffering louis #the brat prince #amc iwtv #iwtv 1994 #bisexual #bisexual characters

[loveandthepsyche]

What is your orientation to truth?

Let’s be honest, it’s not really peace we’re keeping, is it? It’s an insidious form of codependency: I don’t think you can handle the truth, so I’ll withhold it… or I don’t want to deal with your reaction or upset to the truth, so I'll withhold it… or I don't want to take responsibility for what I’ve done, so I'll withhold… I am afraid of the potential outcome if I speak the truth…

Whatever the reason, this weakness of character ( 🚩) will ultimately contribute to the downfall of the relationship if it's not brought into your conscious awareness for healing. If you are committed to true union, speak the truth and confront what arises as a team, thereby resolving the issue & quite possibly creating an indivisible union. Otherwise, your silence poisons your relationship with the ongoing internal war you fight by squelching your truth, only to come out later as resentment, passive aggression and most times, contempt and sheer rage. Eventually resulting in the utter destruction of your relationship. You will project these pent up internal emotions at "the other" because by now your emotional imbalance is overflowing like a volcano ready to spew hot lava. And, it is 100% your responsibility and could have been prevented had you dealt with the issue at the onset and acknowledged the warning signs (your feelings) along the way.

So let’s be real: avoiding conflict has nothing to do with keeping or creating peace. You are lying to yourself when you tell yourself that. It’s actually avoidance of taking responsibility, simply not wanting to deal with the current reality present. The conflict doesn't disappear because you withhold the truth. It’s simply hidden, and more accurately, postponed in a subtle form of [self] deception. And this character weakness has the power to sabotage every area of your life if you don't hold yourself accountable and develop the tools to communicate with an orientation towards the truth and confronting the issue together, not confronting each other like you're in a war zone.

When the next opportunity arises, you have the power to choose--speak your truth and evolve your relationship and your being, or you can continue to run away and postpone that which is in the ultimate act of self-sabotage and emotional immaturity. The difference is creating the partnership your heart dreams of versus the torture, heartbreak and regret the ego so easily exploits.

~ Monet Euan

#silence is violence #speak your truth #monet euan #perspective #integrity #passive aggressive #evolve #truth #confrontation #withholding #silent treatment #self deception #growth #conscious communication #healing #manipulative #emotional immaturity #emotional bypass #uplevel #opportunity #take responsibility #inner peace #union #teamwork #conflict #projection #manipulation #consciousness

[heart-songs]

I speak less and less

these days.

It isn’t so bad.

The less I say, the less I regret saying.

-Cora Finch

#poetry #silence #isolation #coping #depression #loneliness #withholding #spilled ink #my writing #cora finch #heartsongs #poem #139 #speak less

[angstics]

#withholding

[truths89]

Extricate

When I weighed a buck-fifty I was stingy with loving on me Proximity to skinny beauty, I’d berate me

Now a quarter of a dollar on the scale Self-adoration has found a shore to sail

I feel for light-skin folk So close to whiteness, but the passability is a joke

Unpacking anti-blackness and fatphobia Got me understanding my myopia

Sometimes we are too near what causes us fear To realize that the pain is derived from what we idolize  

#truths89 #poetry #zisa aziza #negressofsaturn #fatphobia #anti-blackness #white supremacy #self-love #self-criticism #acceptance #internalized oppression #withholding #black love #blackness #whiteness #passing

[quotesengage]

I don’t think that I am lonely. I think that I am starved and may be ravenous for the very thing you withhold from me.

Heart Berries by Teresa Marie Mailhot

#quotes #book quotes #lonely #Heart Berries #Teresa Marie Mailhot #love #withholding

[thatrandomblogsays]

I’m so happy for them

[Image Description: Castiel from Supernatural is saying I love you, underneath is an image of Dean Winchester with the caption: “After four months of striking the WGA has a reached a tentative agreement & finalizing the contract. If all goes well writers will get to return to work with better pay and protections. They did it. Go unions”]

(Source)

#wga solidarity #wga strong #after months of watching union busting and anti union tactics #wga is coming out strong #hopefully sag is next! #writers strike #support unions #wga strike #sag strike #supernatural meme #destiel #destiel meme #workers rights #fuck the amptp #destiel news #mine #we’ve hit the note amount where people start fighting in the notes #stop fighting kids #but also the strike was absolutely necessary #withholding labor is how unions negotiate for better rights #the CEOs are multimillionaires who refused to pay proper wages #they needed to receive heavy losses so they’d actually come to the table listen to union demands

[fanavi]

#accounting #withholding #uae #dubai

[rebuildingrob]

Like an ostrich with his head in the sand

What could you do less of? The other day I wrote about procrastinating, and the fact of the matter is that I could’ve just as easily reposted that entry for today’s prompt. But I decided I wanted to try something a little different. Avoidance is one thing I could do less of. This is probably a pretty abstract concept, but the psychologist Kurt Lewin talked about three different types of…

View On WordPress

#Anxiety #avoidance  #conflict #confrontation #dailyprompt #dailyprompt-2146 #non-confrontation #omission #withholding

[howifeltabouthim]

. . . her knowledge of who he was as a person hadn't deepened since their honeymoon. She had expected that they would share everything about their lives, but she was the only one doing the sharing. She had blurted out her entire life story to him . . . and the relief of finally talking to someone had been so great that she hadn't noticed that she was the only one doing the talking. Once she had purged her soul to him she had craved for him to do the same, but he had remained curiously opaque.

Anna Biller, from Bluebeard's Castle

#withholding #one sided relationship #inscrutable #secretive #secrets of his own #unequal #relationship dynamics #personal #opening up #emotional intimacy #closed off #marriage #quotes #lit #words #excerpts #quote #literature #anna biller #bluebeard's castle

[1alchemistart]

some dunmeshis bc i love them

#dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon #falin touden #laios touden #marcille donato #farlyn thorden #farlyn touden #laius thorden #laius touden #laois touden #that's right i'm including the misspelling cause i see it a bit too often JSDFKLSDKL #SOON I SHALL POST THE SPOILERY DRAWINGS I'VE BEEN WITHHOLDING. #THIS IS A REMINDER FOR PEOPLE TO TAG THEIR MANGA SPOILERS i read the manga fully but please think of the anime onlies JKSDFKLSD #my art #i love laios v much as you can tell

[immaculatasknight]

Snow-washing Nazis

#Canada #holocaust #secrecy #Nazi #ratlines #records #redaction #withholding #RCMP #cover-up #footdragging