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#with white people I always feel like I'm gonna be “found out” with people of color I feel like a token white friend
thehealingsystem · 16 days
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being biracial between white and poc will always be so alienating for me I don't relate to anyone. I don't quite fit in with whites but I don't quite fit in with people of color. been more white passing than the rest of my family doesn't help
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joontroverted · 2 months
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of course other women want your boyfriend
pairing: nanami kento x reader
tags: nanami is 34. is that a warning? lol.
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"your dad's kinda hot."
the bar isn't too full, just the regular crowd, and then some. of course there were other college kids, none that you knew. well, except this one.
you've seen aiko around, always at the back of the class. not that that's worth shaming, you ended up back there too often due to sleepy mornings to be looking down on her.
no, it's the constant bitching and laughing during class that pissed you the fuck off. not an ounce of respect or decorum for the rest of you depressed losers just trying to make it out of class with notes that made sense, or the poor professor, who has long since given up on admonishing her. so maybe you did once tell her off in the middle of class a week before finals. just once. or twice.
and here she is, having tapped on your shoulder as you were sipping your drink, bitching and laughing with her friends hanging behind her, snickering along.
"that's not my dad," you reply, ticked off.
her eyes widen in faux shock. "even better then! I didn't wanna make it too messy for you. what's his instagram?"
you laugh, bunching up your shoulders, finally putting down your drink and getting up. you're usually not the jealous type, and you're not even feeling jealous right now, more like a bubbling irritation.
"he doesn't have an Instagram. he's thirty four, what instagram do you think you're gonna be hitting him up on, huh?"
"thirty four? he looks forty plus at least! I didn't know being with a stuck up bitch like you would age a man like that, but makes sense!" she scoffs, looking you up and down.
"so you can pick up on social cues! I was wondering how you couldn't figure out that he's my boyfriend from the kiss he gave me or, perhaps from the way he was holding me, but turns out you're just a rude bitch who wants to slather her fingers all over my boyfriend!" you snap at her.
that makes a few people around you look over, and as much as you wanted to smack her across her face, you needed to maintain your standards.
"then where is he now? where's your boyfriend? and which forty year old brings his little girlfriend on a night out to a bar like-"
"there you are, sweetheart."
kento slides his arm around your waist, slipping into the seat next to yours.
nanami kento. thirty four. food critic! 6' 1", honey blonde hair slicked back, but a few pieces spill out on to his face, deep brown eyes that are both soft and sharp. his white shirt's sleeves rolled up to his elbows showing his thick forearms, veiny with light, golden hair. the bar and the girl in front of you almost fade to the back of your mind when his cologne hits your nose, sending you into a daze.
almost.
"ken!" you breathe.
"did i keep you too long? you know satoru, refusing to get to the point," he frowns, dropping a kiss on your forehead. "what's got you all worked up?"
"hey!"
his eyes leave yours to look at aiko. "yes?"
"how come she doesn't bring you around more often? she's always all by herself, in her own little world! so shy, really! i'm aiko, we go to class together!" she smiles at him, all cute and bubbly like.
"what are you trying to do?" you ask, shouldering youself between kento and her. "you trying to swoop in and show him a better life or something? do you need attention that bad?"
"oh my god, you guys, look she's getting all bothered!" she gasps to her friends around her. "no babe i didn't mean it like that, i just meant it like i am personally, SO happy that someone like you's found love, you know? even if it's with someone who is SO different from you, you're finally out of your shell, and clearly, there is someone for everyone!" she gushes, and then looks over your shoulder at kento.
"why are you looking at him, look at me," you interject, something finally snapping in you. kento can sense the change in you, and places his hands on your waist.
"sweetheart, i think- "
you appreciate it, but you can handle this, you're FINE.
"no no," you repeat, "look at me! because do you think he's gonna treat you the way he treats me? do you think he's gonna keep up with your bullshit, and your little friend group and not see you for the pathetic attention seeking loser you are? you think he's gonna buy you the stuff you want and take you to all your raves and whatnot? this man goes to sleep every night by eleven thirty! you don't see him at parties because he's thirty four fucking years old, and his definition of a night out is wine and fine dining, with ME! he treats me like this, and buys me whatever the fuck i want, because i'm me, he's not gonna treat you like that babe!"
"don't get all worked up!" aiko spits "we can just be friends, you know!" she twirls her hair, her eyes still on kento.
"what are you twirling your hair for? he's not even looking at you, the only thing that that's gonna do is make you even balder. spending all your time trying to poach another bitch's man the whole time your bald spot's been making direct eye contact with me."
she gasps, and deep down you know you would never say that to a girl unless she absolutely deserved it, and aiko has been begging for it.
kento squeezes your waist, standing up, towering over you from behind.
"baby, she said she just wanted to be friends, didn't she?" he asks. "why don't you give her my instagram?"
aiko chuckles, seeming to have recovered. she pushes her phone into his hands, instagram open, and he hands it over to you diligently.
you scoff and type in his username, pressing the follow button and shoving it back to her.
"now that that's done," sighs kento, holding you. "it's getting a little hot in here, isn't it honey? let's get this scarf off of you."
his hands unfasten the scarf that you had tied around your neck, that you're sure aiko just attributed to poor fashion sense. despite the previous chaos, your eyes follow his thick fingers as the open the knot, and unloop the scarf from around your neck, causing the scarf to slip out and leave you neck bare in the deep v neck top you had put on this morning.
deep red and purple bruises litter your neck, all the way down to your breasts, disappearing off behind the lace borders of the neck of your top.
kento stares at you, smug and unclouded desire clear on his face. he slides his hands up and holds the sides of your neck firmly, squeezing slightly. he pulls you closer and your lips meet in a deep kiss, his thumbs rubbing slow circles on your cheek. the kiss leaves you breathless as he pulls away and leans back in to place on more kiss on your wet, parted lips, taking you by surprise.
"that's perfect," he thumbs on one of the hickies, eyes never leaving you. "my perfect girl."
warmth floods up your chest and face. a smile can't help but spread across your face as you lean into him.
"let's go, love. dinner, wine and that eleven thirty nap time awaits us," he chuckles, taking your hand, gathering your bag and turning away to leave, not a single glance given to aiko.
aiko!
you turn to her, a lazy, easy grin on your face, glancing to her phone open with kento's instagram, and then back up at her. "happy stalking!"
aiko and her friends are sure to spend the night pouring over kento's instagram, which is filled to the brim with pictures of you, you and him, food, you, travel and his girlfriend, you.
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DO NOT REPOST
yay first fic!!!
likes, reblogs, comments HIGHLY appreciated 🩷
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signedmio · 4 months
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I need drama. what if their s/o is an angel who is in hell "illegally". they decided to help Charlie after her visiting Heavens. they have wings and a halo, and can easily move between heaven and hell. One evening they hurriedly leave the hotel, saying that it was "a very important meeting up there. I need to come so they don't suspect anything" and that they would be back in a couple of hours. and fled away. they have been gone for few days. Arriving at the hotel at night, they accidentally run into a character, and let's just say, their s/o is not in the best condition. Everything is beaten and covered in blood, but the worst thing is that golden blood is flowing from their backs and their wings are missing. holding the injuries, where the blood comes from, barely standing on feet, they whisper with a smile "They found out everything. Very soon they will start an attack. I'm so sorry."
For Alastor, Husk and platonic!Charlie
WTFF THAT IS ACTUALLY SO COOL !!
but yes, I will write that for you, rn ;)
Although, due to the fact that this is a bit lengthy, I’m only gonna do Husk and platonic!Charlie (assuming you want them separate) So I hope that’s okay!! But I could always do an Alastor version in the future :)
(pssst… there will be a part 2… you didn’t hear it from me…)
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“Bad Little Angel” Pt. 1
Husk x Seraphim!Angel!Reader
Warnings: Swear words, S1E6 spoilers, alcohol mentions, use of (Y/N)
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“I can’t believe Lucifer’s little cunt thinks, not only, that she can bring sinners up here, but also bitch to my manager? Like just say you’re a slutty, lesbian Karen and move the fuck on.” Adam whined as he walked with Lute out of the courtroom, “I couldn’t agree more, sir.” Lute said with a nod, taking off her mask and shaking her hair slightly.
This wasn’t right, and you knew that. None of it. But you knew, you had to do something.
A true Angel wouldn’t continue to let human souls die off, whether they be Hellbound or not.
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“Sooo, how’d it go?” Lucifer asked enthusiastically as Charlie walked through the door, only for her to walk right past him, his face slightly falling as she did so, she fell face forward into one of the couches before mumbling some incoherent words into the pillow.
“Eh, wha?” Angel asked, as he turned to look at her from the bar, “Fine.” she mumbled, lifting her head up, simply to be audible, before slamming it back into the pillow. “Wow.” Angel remarked, before shutting up after Vaggie gave him the eyes.
Before more words could be exchanged there was a knock at the door, Charlie sluggishly walked to swing it open, and there you stood, one of the three Seraphim’s that were at the meeting, although it was hard to notice due to the white cloak that hung over your body and face.
“— Can I come in before we begin this? I just don’t want anyone to see me.” You said sheepishly, as Charlie stepped aside to let you in without uttering a word, slightly stunned by your presence.
You walked in, and neatly put your cloak on a nearby coatrack, your wings and hall now on display, and now it felt like everyone in the hotel had eyes on you…
Most of which you had either remembered from the meeting or the live video of ‘The Porn Demon’ — or as Lute said ‘Some crackwhore’
“Hello!” You said with a bashful wave. “I’m-”
“Smiles? What are you doing here?”
Smiles? Only people in Heaven called you that. You turn to see Vagi looking, almost confusion? Shock? Perhaps undecided for now.
“Ah yes, hi, Vagi-”
“It’s pronounced ‘Vaggie’”
“Oh. My apologies!”
Vaggie. Noted.
“As I was saying, I’m one of the Seraphims, Ms. Morningstar was in Heaven earlier this afternoon, and I must say, I’m invested in this hotel of yours.”
Charlie’s face lit up instantly, but you could feel the Porn Demon (for a lack of his name) and Vaggie eyeing you suspiciously.
“I… I know we’re different, but I really want to help, this whole hotel is about putting others together despite their differences, so, y’know.. well, I didn’t really think through what I was going to say before I came here.” You said, chuckling under your breath as you looked down bashfully and played with the tip of your shoe.
“Fine.” Vaggie said, before coming up to you, “But know everything is confidential, you don’t get to spill all our shit because you feel like it, I don’t care who’s in charge who’s telling you to do this, if you don’t follow our rules, you don’t get to be here.” Vaggie finished, looking to a deer-like demon, who has a big grin on his face as he comes up to you, and offers to shake his hand.
You hesitate, but shake it, a green light swirls around the room and flickers away the moment your and the deer’s hands lose contact.
You turn to Vaggie, your face serious about the promise just made, “You have yourself a deal.”
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“So this is Angel! You saw him from the video! That is Alastor, he’s the one you made the deal with! Ooh oh! And that’s Pentious and Niffty — Niffty’s the one cleaning, by the way!” Charlie said pointing to a small cyclops girl sweeping and a snake man who followed behind her — he seemed to be a.. you couldn’t exactly put your finger on it, but you settled with magician.
“That’s Husk, the bartender!” Charlie said with a point, and the cat man gave a small nod — now that was a magician, but if he was a magician, what the hell was the snake supposed to be? Eh, it doesn’t matter.
“And this is… Oh, well you already know Vaggie! From.. er…” Charlie trailed off, it was obvious she was referring to what Adam had announced in the courtroom.
“So is, ‘Smiles’ like your real name? ‘Cus I’ve never met a damn person in my whole afterlife who’d wanna be named that…well, maybe except for him.” Angel asked from the bar, gesturing to Alastor for his last reference.
“No no.” You said with a chuckle, approaching Angel slightly to talk to him more efficiently. “Smiles is a nickname that Vaggie knows me as from… past social circles..” You explained, trailing off, “But anywho, you can call me smiles, or (Y/N), whatever you want!”
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“You want a drink?” Husk asked, as he finished up cleaning Angel’s cup, as he just went to bed for the night, “No, I don’t drink.” you explained as Husker chuckled. “I just… never really got to know you.” You added.
“There’s only so much to know.” He said, “And didn’t Charlie say something about a ‘live video’ from that meeting? See, you know enough about me, new kid.”
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It had been about a week since you made it to the hotel, you had been in Heaven for about half of that time though, but everyone was nice so far!
Charlie was amazingly kind and understanding during shared planning periods, you were starting to build a friendship with Vaggie again, Angel was turning into your bestfriend, you loved the chaotic energy with Pentious and Niffty, Alastor was creepy…but he was okay, and Husk was so soothing and understanding — you have to admit, that maybe something a little special was going on.
It was late, you had just been out on a walk around the block with Husk and Angel, and you were in your peejays, ready to clock out, simply scrolling on your phone, you see a text pop up, and you click to view it.
Lute : There’s a meeting on Sunday. Don’t miss it.
A meeting? For what? We just had a meeting..
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“Is everything okay?” Charlie asked as you rushed to get your cloak and clip it below your chin. Angel, Vaggie, and Alastor also watched you scramble around the lobby of the hotel.
“Look, Heaven really needs me, and I need to leave now if I wanna make it there when I need to, I’ll be back, I promise.” You explained quickly and sternly, Charlie and Angel exchanged concerned looks, Vaggie looked a bit suspicious and you couldn’t help but feel awful, and Alastor had his signature grin.
“You’ll be back, right?” Charlie asks with a hopeful smile.
You hesitate to answer, but give a smile back to her that has the same hope within your eyes, “Of course.”
And then, you flew off.
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mewhenimanangel · 1 month
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reporting live, paige bueckers
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— synopsis. you meet paige when you’re assigned to report on the uconn v. iowa game. twoshot!
notes ౨ৎ: i’ve never wrote for a real person before it feels so strange…but there’s like no fics on here i had to take matters into my own hands.
also yes im rewriting history to make uconn win!
next ౨ৎ
you checked yourself out in the mirror, fixing your outfit - low rise black work pants with a white button down that showed a small sliver of your stomach with black sling back heels.
you tossed your hair around to fix it making sure it was in perfect shape. after all, your job was pretty dependent on looks.
you worked as a reporter for the city's top news agency and tonight you would be attending the uconn versus iowa women's basketball game.
you were also pretty active on social media and managed to make some money that way, you were more than grateful for your lifestyle.
you called your friend, devon , to make sure she was on her way to get you knowing you absolutely could not be late tonight.
she answered the phone and you sighed a breath of relief when it sounded like she was in fact on her way.
"hey girll, are you excited for tonight? pretty big story" she said, bustling city noise behind her.
"yeah i'm excited to interview uconn after they beat iowa's ass" you smirked when you heard her gasp on the other side. "they so will not! my girlfriend caitlin's gonna pull through"
"nah, paige buckets got that easily" you scoffed as you packed your bag, ready to head downstairs out of your apartment.
your bosses had assigned you to tonight's game and hooked you up with two court-side tickets for you and a guest, along with the camera crew.
you of course had to invite your best friend to go with you.
you stepped outside the building and watched as her car pulled up outside.
"ugh i can't believe i get to see caitlin clark up close" devon squealed as you got yourself situated in the car. "ugh be calm, you literally have a boyfriend." you joked. "okay and?" she laughed as she drove off.
once you were at the stadium, you and devon met at with your crew as you found your seats inside.
the game wasn't due to start for another fourty or so minutes but it was already packed inside.
you were glad women's basketball was finally getting the recognition it deserved after you and your mom had been fans of it almost your whole life. you even played a little bit in high school.
you and devon got snacks before sitting down and getting yourselves comfortable.
it didn't feel long until the players came out and the game was started. aliyah and hailey jump started the game before kk threw the ball back at paige.
the game was a close one and you made sure to follow it closely. throughout the game you did side interviews with other players and people attending the game, which was all just leading up to the end of game interviews.
it was the final quarter and you made sure to pay close attention.
it all came down to the last few seconds when paige threw the ball off caitlin's back to catch it again and land the ball in the net, giving uconn the winning score!
you and your crew sat up as you turned your reporter accent on "there you have it folks, uconn has won this round and will advance to the final game against south carolina. what an amazing job tonight by these wonderful ladies on both teams. win or lose, it was a great watch and i'm cheering for everyone's next move."
once you were sure the cameras were off you turned around to devon and threw your hands in the air.
"bitch i told you! i tolddd you paige had this game" you squealed. "ughhh you're so annoying why are you always right" she groaned.
a few minutes later you popped some mouthwash melts and fixed your makeup before you were to interview paige.
your hands were sweating like crazy. you never wanted to come off as an insane fan girl but you were obsessed with paige.
your cameraman followed you as you walked over to paige and she turned around. "hi" she smiled and shook your hand. "hi, are you ready?" you asked her. "yeah" she smiled. you gave your cameraman a thumbs up as he turned the camera on.
you turned to paige, who was already staring at you and you took a deep breath. you're usually never nervous to interview people but god the way she was looking at you.
her eyes were trained on yours and she had a little smirk on her face, her face was glistening from the tiring game she just played and she licked her lips waiting for you to ask your first question.
you cleared your throat "i'm here with paige bueckers, who just made the winning move in the highly anticipated iowa versus uconn game! tell me paige, how did it feel to take the winning shot?" you turned the microphone to her.
she rubbed her chin "ah it was really nerve racking to be honest i mean. i could feel my team counting on me and i knew i really had to pull through and get us out on top" she answered, eyes focusing back on you.
"yeah but that was a tough shot wasn't it?" you watched her eyes drop down to scan you before meeting yours again. "yeah but i knew i could make it in for sure"
"right, bueckers get buckets i don't know what to tell y'all" you joked to the camera. paige laughed.
"yeah for sure but i really owe it all to my team" she continued before kk came up behind her. "yupppppp WE GOING TO THE TITLE GAME" she threw her arms around you and paige and the threw of you jumped in excitement before running to find her other teammates.
you laughed it off before continuing for the camera "well there you have it, paige it was lovely to talk to you. congratulations on the winning game! make sure those of you at home tune in to the final game taking place in just a few days." you signed off the camera before your crew stopped filming.
you turned to paige and dropped the reporter voice. "it was nice to meet you by the way" you smiled. "i could say the same" her eyes never left yours and you bit your cheek to hide a smile.
"well i should let you go celebrate, congratulations, have a good night!" you said, beginning to walk away.
"bye it was nice to meet you" she said before you fully walked away.
you walked over to devon who was waiting on the side. "i know damn well your heart is racing"
"shut up" you smirked.
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saintjosie · 5 months
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Heyyyy girl so, I'm at an impasse with my transition. The euphoria is gone and I don't know where to find it anymore. Everything is progressing sooooo slowly, still too afraid to fully present fem, I came out to everyone I could, I'm still figuring out my style
I just don't know where to chase that girl high anymore
the first year or so of transition, euphoria was abundant.
my skin changed, i grew boobs, my body hair thinned out, and my hair grew out. i got laser and my facial hair slowly started to go away. i figured out what kind of clothes looked good on me and what i felt good wearing. i did voice training and found my voice. i learned how to do makeup. i had dabbled before but i REALLY learned how do it properly, and in a way where i didn’t feel like i had to cake my face with makeup.
but things didn’t really change until i decided to come out and stop boymoding no matter what - even if people misgendered me, or were transphobic, i just decided that i was gonna do it because fuck them. i’m doing this for me and not for anyone else.
and that’s when i really learned what it means to move through the world as a woman. because even if i didn’t pass as well as i liked, being publically a trans woman meant that everywhere i went, people either saw me as a woman or treated me with misogyny because they saw me as a man pretending to be one. either way, i had to deal with misogyny every day, the way that all women have to.
i learned what it feels like to get hit on when i don’t want the attention and what it’s like to be followed while holding my keys between my fingers.
and i also learned what being one of the girls feels like, with girl talk, chit chat, and white wine. i learned how to tell my friends how im feeling and listen to them in turn.
and from those experiences, i learned what kind of woman i wanted to be. i learned that i didn’t really like wearing girly things as much as androgyny and rough femininity. i learned that i didn’t really like wearing all that much makeup all the time. i learned how to gently turn away men without offending them. i learned how to deal with a man’s ego by making them feel smart and capable and how to subtly shut them down when they annoyed the hell out of me.
and i also learned that this was MY experience with womanhood and no one else’s. that other women did things differently and were still every bit as much women in their own way.
and at a certain point i realized that there wasn’t going to be a next high, a next hit of euphoria, because that wasn’t what i was chasing anymore. i was building a life and it was finally the life i wanted. now all of my joy is euphoria. and also all of my sadness and rage. because i just AM a woman. i’m not a woman in transition. i’m just a woman.
there are still some things i’d like to change and there probably always will be. but that’s also just what it’s like to be a woman and to be human.
just keep taking it one step at a time and you’ll find your own way. i promise 🙂
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temptress-writes · 11 months
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📺 Sugar
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A/N: Welcome to The Tonight Show with Harry Styles. The year is 1964, and you are his assistant. He's a bit of a shit. So this is a fun one.
C.W: sexual content: kinda rough— choking, spanking, degradation, slapping, spitting, squirting.
18+ ONLY.
***
New York City, 1964.
"Red leather, yellow leather, red leather, yellow leather."
The bright lights heated him even from behind the curtain. A warmth that coasted alongside his adrenaline. He struggled to keep his body cool underneath his designer sweater, felt his feet tapping restlessly in his leather oxfords.
This was his favourite part.
The cheers, the introduction, the attention.
You ran the lint roller over his shoulders as he sipped steaming tea from a paper cup. You made sure the collar of his plaid shirt was straight as it peeked out from his red sweater.
Another sip of steaming tea, another tongue twister.
"She sells..." You coached.
He took in a deep breath, watching you as you made sure he appeared perfect, rearranging the groomed curls on his head. Your green dress stood brightly against the black of the stage, the white cuffs of it framing your wrists as you fussed over his hair.
"She sells seashells by the seashore."
"One minute till curtain!" The stage manager yelled as he breezed by. "How're you feeling, Mr. Styles?"
"Like a million bucks, Sal!"
"That's the spirit!" Sal chuckled, running towards the side of the stage, probably chasing after an intern who wasn't doing their job properly.
"Remember, you're meeting your parents for dinner after this." You reminded, ticking off the mental to-do list that was really his. It was clogging your mind but after all, it was your job.
"I haven't forgotten." He rolled his eyes. Yes, you were his assistant, but he found you controlling at times and he had little patience for women who tried to control him. He preferred to be the one in charge.
"But you'll still find a way to be late, anyway." You stepped back with a huff. He really did make your job a living hell.
"I'm taking a refreshment in my dressing room after the show."
You scrunched up your face in disgust. Refreshment. You hated that you knew it was code for a visit from a desperate groupie. You remember when he told you how he chose which girl he liked the best. You'd been watching the audience file in and he appeared behind you, chewing gum with a confident pop of his jaw.
"Let me scope it out."
"Why?"
"Like to see who's gonna join me for a post-show soirée. See those girls?" He pointed to a group of overdressed girls, all giggling and excited for the show to start. "Bingo."
"How do you know which one to pick?"
He shot you a look, clicking his tongue. "The tits, sugar. I always pick the girl with the biggest tits."
"Ugh." You rolled your eyes. "You're disgusting."
"I'm just messin'," He tilted his head. "I'm an ass man, too."
You shuddered at the recollection.
"Yes, Mr. Styles." Your voice was laced with a seething sarcasm that he raised a brow at.
He didn't seem to conceptualise that you talked that way because that's how he talked to you. He couldn't see past his blinding, misogynistic ego.
You were purely volleying it right back at him. In hindsight, it wasn't the smartest move because you really needed this job and he had a tendency to fire staff with a snap of his jeweled fingers. He'd made the past six months hard on you and he really made your blood boil.
Who knew becoming Harry Styles' assistant would be akin to babysitting a grumpy toddler?
The Tonight Show with Harry Styles.
Hilarious with guests, a major flirt, and entertaining — even when reading out news segments.
He was well-loved by everyone. For his fun fashion statements, for his guests, his charm, his whole fantasy world on his show. Worldwide, he was adored as the most entertaining and handsome talk show host.
But you knew what happened behind the scenes.
Poised and perfect on camera, but as soon as the director called cut, you had trouble convincing yourself it wasn't a joke. People of the television world had a different sort of ego and you struggled to breathe among it all. Harry hated mingling with guests before and after the show more than he had to, he hated when the crew bothered him, he hated being approached by fans for autographs because he had a headache — or whatever excuse he was offering that day.
Don't get it twisted — he loved the attention he got from being so famous. You were surprised his head wasn't bigger. The one thing he loved most about being so popular was the fact that he could have anyone on his knees for him, be between their legs, and have them at their disposal. And he treated them like that was their only use.
The charming and cheerful Harry Styles.
Purely a falsity of a man.
The crew fled from the stage as the band started playing the introduction theme music and you swept the cup from his hand. You replaced it with two certs breath mints that he chewed on routinely.
"Wish me good luck." He demanded as you gave him a once over.
You beamed. "Break a leg."
"Thanks, sugar."
"No, like trip and fall."
His smile dropped into an unamused glare. "Oh, bite me."
The music ensued, getting louder with an abundant cheer from the live crowd, the curtain preparing to lift to reveal him. You rushed off stage, your Mary Janes clicking on the floor before nodding to Sal who gave you two thumbs up.
"Filmed before a live studio audience..."
"...All the way from Holmes Chapel, Cheshire..."
Harry took a deep breath, already bathing in the adoration he garnered from simply existing.
"...Give it up for your host, the one, the only..."
You rolled your eyes as he mouthed along with the words as they were spoken.
"...Mr. Harry Styles!"
The curtain parted and he stepped forward, his hands waving to the crowd before clasping them together as he took a small bow. He blew kisses, thanking them for coming and welcoming them. He egged on the drummer of the band while the crowd cheered for him.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!"
More cheers that he absolutely cherished and bathed in, letting them fuel his ego.
"We've got a great show for you tonight, we have special guests The Everly Brothers joining us!"
Your job while Harry was doing his magic spiel on stage was to check in with him during commercial breaks, smooth his hair, offer him mints, refill his water. Also to make sure everything was perfect for him when he wrapped up. He was extremely demanding, and while you were warned of that when you first took the job, you were still so surprised just how needy he was.
He liked ham and tomato sandwiches exactly fifteen minutes before he was put into his hair and makeup chair. He liked a cup of hot tea right before air time, alongside a few tongue twisters. He went through packets of Certs breath mints faster than you thought humanly possible. He also wanted a cup of black coffee waiting for him directly after he got off stage.
He didn't like to talk to anyone on his way to his dressing room unless it was Sal congratulating him and inflaming his already huge ego. Or security telling him about a waiting groupie in his dressing room. Or you, running over his schedule or helping him memorise his script. Well, he didn't like talking to you. He more or less answered in grunts or irritated comments.
As Harry settled in for his show post the joke segment, you ran around backstage. Ordering his coffee and one for yourself because you couldn't keep up with his demands without your own shot of caffeine. You were due within minutes to refresh him during the breed.
It really was an exciting job, aside from being a woman in a man's world. You were treated as such but you were lucky enough to be given the job in the first place. At first, you were nervous around Harry. It took him a second to warm up to you.
The first time you met was when he found you in his dressing room before a show, bent over the vanity as you watered his flowers. He thought you were there for a completely different reason and had quickly started to unbuckle his belt.
"Alright, let's make this quick."
You then spotted him in the mirror and turned with a gasp. "What are you-"
And before it could have got any more awkward, before Harry could even fully unbuckle his belt, Sal stormed in with a shocked laugh.
"Oh!" His amused gaze flickered between the two of you. "Harry, I see you've met your new assistant."
"I don't need an assistant, Sal. We've been through this. Why do you think I got rid of the last one?"
"Well, of course, you do! She's just here to help you perform at your best, Styles. Try not to scare this one off."
And while he'd probably never admit it to you, you actually were very helpful to have around. Once you'd stopped being so awkward and nervous and jittery around him, you found a dynamic that worked. One where he could be a condescending male and you could be just as snappy right back to him.
Past assistants had stuck to him like a bad smell and only irritated him. You did what was expected of you. Nothing more, nothing less. You kept your little purse stocked with certs breath mints, lint rollers and kept that fact that he fucked fans in his dressing rooms after and sometimes before shows quiet.
But after all, everyone was well aware. They even congratulated him on his sexual success. Nothing grossed you out more.
Aside from Harry being a mildly misogynistic, cocky, well-dressed thorn in your side, you loved your job. You met exciting guests whom you only dreamed of meeting. Stars you had posters of in your apartment, musicians whose vinyls you span on your turntable.
In your first week on the job, you met Santo and Johnny. They'd just finished a performance of Sugar Song and they flirted with you until you were a blushing mess.
Harry had watched the interaction, grumbling about professionalism and waiting for them to leave so he could torment you about it.
"Got the hots do ya, little sugar?"
"Kiss off, Styles."
That was the most colourful thing you'd ever said to him. The shock of it raised his brows and sent a singeing pang of arousal directly to his crotch.
There was a part of Harry that wanted to hate you. Because you were a woman bossing him around and because you got on his nerves. But the more rational part of him knew he could never hate you. You were too helpful and he'd be lying if he said you weren't one of the prettiest girls he'd ever seen. And he'd seen a lot of girls.
But he knew you were disgusted by his habits, how he slept with so many people. In his own sick way, he used it to his advantage, to keep you at arm's length. That and endless comments he knew would rile you up. And boy, did he rile you up. He'd finessed the art of it.
The show ran smoothly tonight, but by no means were you any less busy. You raced around with your clipboard tucked under your arm and two cups of coffee in either hand. You sipped on yours, grateful for the kick it gave. Harry was saying his goodnight to the crowd, his cup steaming in your left hand as you rushed to meet him.
"Thank you for spending the night with me, New York!"
His classic closing catchphrase. Cheeky and risky, but it was him and he got away with everything.
Thunderous applause overpowered the sound of your heels clicking as you turned a corner, beelining towards the stage exit. You were late. He'd be off stage by now, demanding things and barking orders like the diva he was.
As if you weren't going to hear an earful from him as it was, an intern bumped into you. The crash caused your two cups of coffee to spill all down the front of your dress. You barely noticed the burn.
"Seriously?" You seethed, holding your now empty cups out in exasperation.
"I-I'm so sorry, I wasn't watching-"
"You don't say."
You could hear Harry asking where you were and you groaned, absolutely vexed. You turned in the exact opposite direction of him and back to grab more coffee. You knew he'd especially need it tonight if he was meeting with his parents.
"What happened to you?" Sal guffawed and you rolled your eyes.
"If you see Harry, tell him that his coffee is coming."
"Bit hard getting it to him when you're wearing it."
"Not funny."
A few minutes later, you held a single coffee cup. Steaming, black. You wrapped both your hands around it, holding it steady and keeping far away from anyone who could bump you. Your dress had seen better days and the stain was obvious and uncomfortably wet.
You found your way back to his dressing room, where he'd no doubt holed himself up in to freshen up. You knocked, hoping he was alone and waiting for you before continuing on with his post-show... rituals.
"Come in!" You heard from the other side and you slipped inside quickly.
"So sorry, Mr. Styles, I had an accid- oh, my god!"
You took in the scene before you. Harry. With a girl on his knees in front of him. His jeweled fingers clenching a fistful of the girl's hair as she sucked him off. His brows were turned down in the middle but his eyes... his eyes were on you. And he was enjoying it. Enjoying the girl, and enjoying you watching.
"Alright, sugar?"
"I-" You didn't know what to say, and the girl didn't stop. You didn't know if that was her doing or if Harry was holding her down. You turned, and idiotically turned back around, taking the few steps towards him, and handed him his cup of coffee. You didn't meet his eyes, like a bumbling idiot.
You left the room, but not before hearing Harry take a hefty sip of his coffee and letting out a soft moan, "Oh, that's so good."
Vexed by his antics, and the fact that he made it his mission to throw you off like that, you signed out and went home. It was as vulnerable as you'd ever seen him and you felt an odd sense of jealously wash over you. Maybe you were jealous of past you, because she hadn't witnessed it. Or maybe there was a bit of jealousy there because you wanted to be the one on your knees for him.
As delightful as the thought was for a margin of a second, you felt ill knowing you'd be another Harry Styles groupie. And it would make your job more difficult which you didn't think was even possible.
But you couldn't stop thinking about it for the rest of the night. His blissful expression, the way he directed it at you as opposed to the mouth wrapped around him. He had told you to enter his dressing room so that you could see it.
The next night, you planned on fully avoiding him and pretending the whole thing never happened. Which was hard considering, you know, you were to follow him around and listen to his demands. And especially hard because you just wished he'd command you onto your knees already.
Sure, you found him extremely attractive — everyone did. You may have even had a little crush when you first met him. But then you got to know him, and his habits and his ways. Last night grossed you out just as much as it turned you on. You felt so thrown off and now you weren't sure how to act around him.
You arrived at the studio not too long before showtime, Harry's cup of tea in hand. You were a little bit late today but you figured he could survive fifteen minutes without you. He was in hair and wardrobe, getting his curls perfected and his forehead powered.
He sat in the chair with his legs spread, a pair of black dress pants and a white singlet, his inked arms on display. You focused on staying professional and met his eyes for a brief moment as you greeted him and handed him his cup of tea. No milk, and don't be shy with the honey, he'd told you when you first started.
His eyes scanned your attire, a pink dress with long sleeves but a shorter hem than usual, he noticed. He didn't hate having to look at your legs, your plump thighs, and the intrigue of what was between them ran rampant in his thoughts.
You had a soft yellow ribbon in your hair, keeping it swept away from your face in a high ponytail. He clenched his jaw, wishing it was his hand fisting your hair. He'd tie your hands up with the ribbon so you'd have to behave for him.
"Thanks. Dig pink on ya." He took a sip, his eyes full with mischief as he watched you over the rim of his cup. "Enjoy the show last night?"
You knew he was referring to you seeing him get blown by some random groupie so you ignored him, looking at your clipboard. "So Sal wants to see you in five, and we're reconfiguring some set pieces before airtime. So be on stage straight after you've seen him, okay?"
The hairstylist finished up, and you were left alone with him in the room. You were a lot stiffer tonight, more reserved than usual and he picked up on it right away. You raised a brow, wondering if he'd heard a single word you said.
He smirked. "Why did you come in last night? You know I have post-show celebrations in my dressing room."
"I was bringing you coffee! You told me to come in!" This man was exasperating. He knew that he'd asked you for coffee and told you to enter his dressing room after you'd knocked. He wanted you to see and now he was just winding you up.
He raised a brow. "Did I?"
"Five minutes." You reaffirmed. You tried to hide the way that his tone crept down your spine in slow, hot trickles.
He sat up in the chair, his hand reaching to cup the back of your lower thigh. You stopped breathing at the sudden touch and he pulled you towards him. His gaze was searing on yours, his eyes wondering and daring.
"You wanted to stay, didn't you? Watch me get my dick sucked while I watched you."
"No, I didn't." You whispered, letting him pull you forward until you were standing between his spread legs.
"No?"
"No." Even you weren't convinced by your answer.
"Hmm... you wanted to be the one on your knees for me. Is that it?"
You took a deep, shaky breath. His question fired something off in your brain. A realisation perhaps. You did want to be on your knees for him, being the reason for his pleasure, be at his command, make him feel good, make him fucking fall apart because of you.
"So pretty in this tiny fuckin' dress." He cooed. His hand came up, cupping your cheek. Your eyeshadow was a pretty soft blue and he adored it. His fingers trailed down, tracing your lower lip. "You'd look so perfect with my cock in your mouth."
You couldn't even suppress the whimper that ensued. Did you thank him? Slap him? Get on your knees and prove his point?
He didn't seem fazed by the fact that you weren't saying much. You were responding to him in other ways. Leaning right into him with your eyes lulled, your hands resting on his broad shoulders. Your chest heaving beneath that fucking pink dress. You were driving him crazy with how badly he wanted you.
The night before had been his own sick little test. Either, you'd be game, or you'd pull away from him completely. Regardless, he'd know where you stood and accept all that accompanied him. He knew how fucked up it was but you really seemed to enjoy the game.
His other hand squeezed the back of your thigh, inching higher. "What colour are your panties?"
You gasped at the question, so turned on by him and how bold he was. It used to scare you, but now being on the receiving end was a completely different ballpark.
"Blue." You breathed out.
"What shade of blue?" He pressed on. "Like your eyeshadow?"
You twisted your lips in thought. "Do you want to see?"
Harry released a shocked laugh, but his mind was fucking reeling. Did you really just ask if he wanted to see your panties?
"A peek couldn't hurt."
He gripped your hips and lifted you up onto the vanity behind you. You were shocked that he could lift you so effortlessly and smoothly. You crossed your legs, more to tease him than anything else. Your expression was sultry, and he felt lightheaded at the sight of you. Slowly, you unfolded your legs but didn't open them.
"Don't be shy, sugar. Show me and I'll make it up to you."
You let out a slow exhale, mustering up all of your courage. You were shaking, but it wasn't nerves. He had you so worked up and he had barely done anything. He'd riled you up and talked to you, and you were already fucking saturated.
Your legs parted, feet resting on either side of his thighs on the chair. Harry's eyes stayed on yours, his hands reaching to slide up your thighs, pushing the hem of your pink press up so he could get a good view of you, finally looking down.
And what a fucking view it was. Your thighs were soft, and he let his hands squeeze at them. Sky blue lace covered the area he'd been dreaming about for six months. He let out a soft groan and let his fingertip brush over the skin where your abdomen met the panties.
"Lace? Did you wear these for me?"
"I had you in mind."
"Naughty girl." He smirked, shuffling forward. His thumb brushed over your clothed clit and you let out a whimper, biting your lip to quell anything louder than might to escape. "Can I taste you? Please? Been wantin' to for months."
You nodded, your mouth dry. You'd let this man do anything to you, and hearing him tell you he'd been wanting this for months left you in a frenzy.
"Words, sugar. Let's hear 'em."
"Please," You whispered. "taste me."
"Good girl, that's it." He pulled your panties to the side, desperate to see you and taste you. You were glistening, so wet and plump for him. He sighed, running his thumb along your clit before venturing between your folds to feel how wet you were. Your thighs jolted as he slipped his thumb to collect your excitement and spread it up to your clit.
"Why are you so wet, hm?" He wondered aloud, his eyes meeting yours again.
"Because of you, Harry."
"Me?" Cocky little shit.
"Mm."
"Are you always this wet for me, sugar?"
You hesitated, not sure if you wanted to give him this. He would never forget it, probably remind you that he knew every day. Probably slip his hand up your dress just to appease his own curiosity.
"Only when you're nice to me."
"But you like me mean, don't you?"
"You're an asshole."
"Gets you wet, though."
Abruptly, as if impatient, he lowered his head and attached his mouth to your clit. The scorching heat of it was intense, and you grabbed a fistful of his freshly tamed curls to hold him to you.
His tongue ran over your entirety. From your entrance right back up to your clit, tasting you fully as his mouth closed around the sensitive bundle of nerves. You threw your head back, rolling your cunt towards his face as he softly ate you with a passion that had you shaking.
Before anything more could occur, Sal knocked on the door, demanding that Harry meet with him. He knew better than to enter any room that was hidden behind a closed door when it came to Harry. But if he'd known it was you behind that door with him, that would be another issue entirely.
You shot up, pushing him out of the way and righting your dress. You were tingling and you could still feel his tongue between your legs. His eyes were dark as he watched you from his seat, amused by your fumbling.
"Go before Sal comes back." You were flustered, your body felt electric and all he'd given you was his mouth for what — ten seconds?
He was too relaxed, and it only pissed you off further. He stood, sauntering towards you to press you against the vanity. His hand cupped your jaw, his rings kissing your skin.
"Funny that you're making demands when I'm the boss."
You breathed heavily, unsure of how to reply so you just held eye contact with him. Your lips parted as his head tilted, inching closer. His hand loosened, melting to your cheek so he could rub it with his thumb.
"Who's in charge, hm?"
"You are."
"That's right." He crooned, his lips brushing yours. "And who's gonna give you his cock later?"
The air was stripped from your lungs, the depth behind his question clear. Would you submit to him? Venture into this connection you had with him? You got on each other's nerves but fuck if there wasn't the most incredible sexual tension between you.
"You are, Harry."
He hummed, gripping your hand and bringing it down to cup his cock. He was hard, and pulsed in your hand when you gave him a squeeze. You just about crumbled when he moaned, his eyes lulling as you did it again. Harder.
"There's my good girl."
Sal knocked again, clearly impatient tonight. Harry smirked and could feel his lips curl against yours before he pulled away. He left the room with a confident strut while you were left shaking. You took a second to catch your breath, willing the arousal between your legs to simmer down before heading back out towards the stage.
You grabbed your purse and kept busy doing your job while Harry caught up with Sal. He was doted over, like always, and Sal told him how his viewings were skyrocketing. After he'd finished up his tasks on stage, he was whisked back to wardrobe so he could be styled.
Because Harry was busy chatting with tonight's guest and getting ready, all you had to do was wait for him to come to you. You peeked through the curtains at the set. The audience was being brought in and you were watching the seats fill from the side of the stage.
A piercing whistle sounded out from behind you and you twirled on the spot. He looked phenomenal. His suit was a sky blue, not too dissimilar to the shade of your panties. His shirt was a crisp white, his chain peeking through where it was unbuttoned, sat between his pecs and the light dusting of hair.
His eyes looked greener when he was dressed in blue, his lips more raspberry. He approached you and your eyes flew down to his shiny black oxfords.
"Whaddya think huh?" He spun on his heels, showing off. "Matchin'."
"Blue suits you."
"Suits you, too." Harry winked, standing close to you before nodding towards the audience. "How's it looking out there?"
Was he... trying to make casual conversation? After his face was between your thighs and all the talk that proceeded it? "Full house, like always. Did you... was that on purpose?"
"What?"
"The blue suit."
"Why else would I ask what colour your panties were, hm?"
"Because you're nosy."
"You know... every time you insult me, I get hard."
"Good thing I have plenty of them, then."
"Come on," He pressed you tight against the wall. "Gimme another one."
"Prick."
He chuckled, amused by how freely you were cursing. "That all you got?"
"You're the cockiest son a bitch I've ever met." You breathed out. His hands pressed to the wall on either side of your head, caging you in.
"Alright." He was crowding your space, the spicy-sweet vanilla of his cologne clouding your senses. He checked to see if anyone was around before clicking his tongue. "Take your panties off."
"What?" You were well aware that any crew member could walk by, and you weren't about to be caught slipping your panties down your legs.
"You heard me. Just lemme hold onto 'em until the show's over."
"Are you bent? I'm not giving you my panties. I need them and someone could walk by at any moment."
"Mellow out, no one's gonna see."
You deliberated in your head, genuinely considering it. His head tilted to the side, gauging your thoughts. This was so... exhilarating. Exciting. You were so out of it for him, and glad that you finally both agreed on something. You were both attracted to each other physically and that was about it.
Fuck it. Your hands reached beneath your dress, and Harry took a step back to give you room, keeping a lookout. You stepped out of those pretty little panties and held them out to him on your index finger. He snatched them up, eyeing how delicate they looked in his hand.
"Far out." He laughed, in shock that you actually did it.
You were a bundle of surprises tonight. He was throwing stuff at you that was pretty out there and you were throwing it right back. Sweet little sugar had a little more spice than he had anticipated.
"Cheers, sugar." He twirled them around on his finger and you slapped his shoulder.
"Don't just wave them around!" You hissed, looking around to make sure no one had seen the whole interaction.
Harry shoved them in his pants pocket and you smoothed out the bump they left, always a perfectionist. The guest of the night turned the corner and almost bumped into the two of you. You jumped apart, letting Harry chat to the guest on his own. He rarely enjoyed it and you looked back to see the subtle hints of irritation on his face. You knew he'd flash that charming smile and those adorable dimples as soon as the cameras came on.
With only a few minutes until the show was due to start, you bumbled around and made sure everything was perfect for him. You were very aware of the fact that you didn't have your panties on, and with your dress being shorter than usual, you had to be careful.
Sal breezed past you, beelining towards Harry and the guest with a huge grin. He greeted them loudly and you did your part by waiting to the side for further instruction. The guest was led to their spot for showtime, one of the stage managers with them to keep them entertained and to give their cues. Harry shook Sal's hand, hearing Sal's usual encouraging words before making his way towards you.
"Feeling okay?" You checked in, handing him a couple of Certs breath mints. You walked side by side towards center stage, and he wasn't shy about his stare on you. It felt different — the air around you. Usually filled with annoyance, was something else. Hotter, dreamier, sensual.
"Snazzy." He nodded, chucking the mints into his mouth. "Little foreplay always gets me goin'."
You huffed out a breath at his response, resisting the urge to retort something cheeky as the stagehand came to run through the show one more time. You righted his outfit, his eyes not leaving you as you made sure he looked smooth and perfect.
As the stagehand left, you grabbed your round brush from your purse and went over his curls. You began adding a little volume while he hummed and oohed and aahed to exercise and prepare his voice.
"You know New York..." You guided.
"You know New York, you need New York, you know you need unique New York."
"Again."
He sighed, closing his eyes so he could focus. "You know New York, you need New York, you know you need unique New York."
"Lesser leather..." You hinted at another tongue twister. You ran the lint roller across the lapels of his suit jacket and over his shoulders, catching his eyes and not missing the glint in them. "...never weathered..."
"It's funny," He smirked. "you're a tongue twister master right now, but you won't be able to say your own name by the time I'm done with you later."
"Oh my-"
"Yeah, I'm gonna fuckin' ruin you."
"One minute till curtain, everyone!" Sal's voice boomed. "Look alive, look alive!"
The crowd was roaring with applause as the show began, but all you could hear was your pulse in your ears as your heart thudded in your chest. Harry, who usually thrived off of the cheers, was only focused on you. On your sweet voice asking if he wanted to see your panties, on your feisty insults.
"Filmed before a live studio audience..."
You called him a cocky son of a bitch and all he could think about was bending you over his knee and seeing how much shit you talked while his hand was marking your ass with its imprint.
Everyone fled the stage, but you were stood completely still in front of him. Frozen.
"Harry..."
His lips brushed yours again and your ears started ringing.
"...All the way from Holmes Chapel, Cheshire..."
"Look at you," He crooned. "Runnin' round with no panties with that pretty ribbon in your hair. Dirty little thing, aren't you, sugar?"
You could feel how slick you were between your thighs and your eyes fluttered as his hand ventured beneath your skirt from behind, cupping your ass cheek with a strong hand before venturing further. His fingertips found your cunt and you almost collapsed against him.
He hummed lowly, rumbling in his chest. He pulled his hand away, very aware that the curtain was close to pulling up. He held his index and middle fingers in front of you, glistening with your arousal, and ran them along your lower lip.
You didn't even hesitate to suck his fingers into your mouth, not losing eye contact. Harry's brows turned down, his mouth dropping as he drawled out a slow fuuuck. And then he kissed you. It was messy and wet and quick. His lips were so soft against your own before he sucked deftly on your tongue, tasting you and your cunt at the same time.
"...Give it up for your host, the one, the only..."
"Fuck, can we cancel the show?" He growled, holding you to him with a grip on the nape of your neck.
"N-No. I have to go."
"...Mr. Harry Styles!"
You fled from the stage, walking backwards, not wanting to take your eyes off him. His expression was one of longing, his eyes not leaving you either. The curtain lifted, igniting him in the warmth of the stage lighting and the eruption of cheers.
He turned and faced the crowd, waving and blowing kisses. His smile was dazzling, and his blue suit was celestial under the bright glow. He was wrapped in success and adoration. You could see it radiating off him as he found centre stage and bowed.
"Good evening, New York!" He waited for applaud to finish. "How are we?"
You rounded the backstage area, checking in with crew and chatting to the guest.
"Can I just say..." Harry continued, clasping his hands together. "you look ravishing tonight, New York." More praise from the audience. "It's true, you do."
You rolled your eyes at the excited yells and cheers from the crowd. You watched him in a totally new light tonight. He was on a level that no one could reach. He was born to be on stage, to entertain.
He introduced the guest and brought them onstage, talking about their upcoming music and chatting them up. During the commercial breaks you checked in with the guest, and made sure Harry's appearance was on point.
His eyes were on you the whole time, and you could see him fighting the urge to make some kind of questionable comment. His eyes veered south and stayed on where the hem of your dress brushed your thighs.
"Need anything else?" You asked him politely, aware of the audiences stare on your back.
"I won't need coffee tonight." He educated softly and you nodded.
"We're back in fifteen seconds." The cameraman alerted and you gathered your things and went to leave. The guest was busy fixing their hair with the stylist. Harry's hand on your wrist stopped you, pulling you back.
"Actually, there is one more thing." He back peddled, and you raised an expectant brow, leaning in close to hear him. "Stay right over there, okay? Wanna be able to see you."
He pointed to a spot off stage, where only guests and select members of crew like Sal or the director were allowed to stand during air time. And he wanted you there. So he could look over and see you and know you were watching.
"I- Yeah, okay."
You rushed off stage, standing exactly where he told you to. He watched you right until the advertisement break ended.
"And we're back in three... two... one..."
His eyes switched back to the camera, his expression slipping into the charm that came so naturally to him once he was live on air.
He was a star. Delightful and eccentric and unapologetic.
He exchanged more jokes with the guest, who as an up and coming musician, was gearing up for their performance. You stayed to watch the show exactly where Harry wanted you, and you were pleased that you didn't get any slack from Sal. You rarely got to actually enjoy the show like this, and in a way, it felt like Harry had done you a favour.
His eyes often flicked to you after he'd told a joke or said something cheeky. Like he was directed it at you, or maybe he was checking to see if you found him as funny as the crowd did. When you didn't laugh as hard as he thought the joke deserved, he'd try extra hard to get you to laugh at the following one.
It was odd that he was trying to seek validation from you when he had millions at his feet.
As the show wrapped up, you couldn't have applauded him louder. You were proud, you felt giddy and bubbly inside. He was born for this, there was no denying it.
And then there was the realisation of what was to come once the show had finished. You became nervous. And insanely wet. The anticipation rattled yet excited you and you weren't sure what to make of it.
You rounded towards his exit, a crowd of crew and groupies waiting for him. He came to you first, as you were closest. He shot polite smiles to everyone but his attention was on you.
"How'd I do?"
"Phenomenal."
"Did you like my jokes?"
You side-eyed a few people waiting for a shred of his attention and felt the need to rush this interaction between you along. You didn't want to raise suspicions and you also didn't want to take away any attention he could be giving to these people who were clearly waiting for him.
"My tummy laughs from hurting so much." You whispered. His grin was contagious, dimples and his bunny teeth on full display. His eyes were warm as he stared down at you.
"Really?"
"Mhm."
A throat cleared behind you and Harry looked up to shoot them a reassuring wink and then looked back at you. "Wait for me in my dressing room."
It was an order, even with the softness in his tone. You licked your lips, not missing when his eyes caught it. You backed away, slowly pulling your ribbon out of your hair. His jaw clenched as your hair fell free.
"Yes, Mr. Styles. Right away."
His dressing room felt alien to you as you slipped inside, a familiar place with such a different atmosphere now. How quickly the dynamic had changed between you was dizzying. You always knew you were attracted to him, but you never thought you'd act on it.
And you certainly never thought he'd have his mouth on your cunt minutes before a show.
How long were you meant to wait? You checked your appearance in the mirror, your cheeks flushed with excitement. Your dress was pristine, as was your makeup and you wondered how long that would last.
You were riffling through Harry's pile of books when he came in. Your spine straightened, every nerve tingling. He closed the door behind him, leaning back against it.
His gaze was one that had you clenching your thighs together. An intimidating hunger, a deep lust. His eyes were dark, void of the bright glint they usually offered. He didn't say anything and that only made the tension thicker.
And then he locked the door with a click.
He took one single step towards you and you inhaled a sharp breath at the slow, torturous pace of it. Like he was taunting and teasing you. He shoved one hand in his pocket, the other reaching up. He gripped his lower lip between his thumb and index finger, his eyes finding your feet in your Mary Janes and trailing up your legs.
He was slow with that as well as if to keep you on your toes. He had always been so rushed and spontaneous with a lot of what he did. But this.... this he'd been thinking about for a long time. He'd had months to plan this through.
Plan how he was going to play with you, make you beg for him, make you feel good.
He really enjoyed the secrecy of it. And all that would come after. He liked the idea of meeting your eyes at work, both of you exchanging knowing looks because you both knew what it took to pleasure each other.
Fuck. His sex life wasn't complicated. He fucked fans because the likelihood of seeing them ever again was slim. But you were close to home, dangerously so. He saw you all the time. And somehow that just made him want you even more.
He produced your panties from his pocket and came to stand in front of you.
"Now," He began, lowering his head to meet your eyes. "are you going to need help keeping quiet?"
He fucking knew he'd have you screaming for him. He was just being precautious, knowing that on the other side of the door, the studio was littered with crew members.
You shook your head. "No."
"Are you sure?"
"I don't think you're that good."
He rolled his tongue along the inside of his cheek, huffing out a humourless laugh before pocketing your panties again. You were so snappy and cheeky with him and he'd be lying if he said it didn't make his dick so fucking hard in his pants. You were winding him up. Trying to poke at him and provoke him. Well, it was fucking working.
"Oh, you don't think so?"
"I think that's why your ego's as big as it is. Because you can't fuck."
He did what he wanted to do earlier that day; he grabbed your hair in his fist. You gasped through a surprised smile, and he brought you close until you were pressed against him.
"What did I tell you?" His voice was low, thick with arousal. You'd never heard his voice that deep and you felt it between your legs. "Hm?"
"That you won't need coffee tonight?"
He gripped your hair harder and his cock throbbed when you smiled.
"I told you," His eyes were burning. "that I'm going to ruin you."
The way he pronounced every word was electrifying. As if he was really trying to get his message across. How was this the same man that had asked if you laughed at his jokes after his show?
You flicked your tongue against his lower lip. "Do your worst."
His kiss was far harsher this time. Still just as messy, and you figured that was just how he liked it. He wasn't shy about it. He used his teeth, nibbling on your lower lip, biting on your tongue. He used his free hand to fist your dress at the small of your back.
You were pressed tight against him and fuck, he was so hard for you. Even through his pants, you were impressed with his size. You wanted to feel more, experience him fully. You didn't have all the time in the world, locked away in his dressing room. You were both painfully aware.
He pushed you back, landing you in the chair next to the vanity. He stripped off his suit jacket and rolled up his shirt sleeves. You watched as he pushed your dress out of the way, clearly annoyed that the fabric was disrupting him from his goal. Your center was still so wet for him and he couldn't even suppress the low grown at the sight.
"Pretty little pussy," He gripped your inner thighs, holding them apart. "still so fucking drenched for me. You enjoyed watching me onstage tonight, didn't you? Hearing everyone fawn over me but you know you're the one I want."
"I want you, too. So bad, please fuck me." You whined, your hips rocking up restlessly.
"I wanna have a play first."
"Fuck, please just-"
He spat directly between your legs, coating your pussy in his spit. His eyes flickered up to the clock on the wall before he attached his mouth to you with a deep moan. He licked along your entrance and then right up to the sensitive bundle of nerves, fully tasting you again.
He dipped his tongue inside you, fucking you with it before pulling away with a pop and sucking your clit back into his mouth. He trapped it between his teeth and flicked and twirled delicious patterns against it that had your muscles clenching.
He ate you as if he enjoyed it more than you did. He targeted your clit perfectly, able to read your body and its responses so well.
He held eye contact while had his mouth on your cunt, burying his face against you like he couldn't get close enough. Your legs shook on either side of his head, and he kept them spread with his wide hands. You could feel how cold his rings were against your skin.
Your hands reached down, tangling themselves into his curls. You held him against you, his mouth so scorching on you that you felt lightheaded with the tingling heat.
He pulled away momentarily, slipping his index and middle finger in his mouth, all the way until he drew back so teeth were peeling off his rings. He grabbed your hand, taking two of your fingers one by one and replacing the rings on them. They were huge on you but you admired how his jewelry looked on you, the ones he wore while he was on air. Glistening and extravagant.
Now he'd removed them so he could feel you properly.
Deciding that you were wet enough, he ran the pads of his fingers along your entrance. They veered up, circling your clit slowly before heading south again. You cried out softly as his fingers slipped inside you. It was an exquisite sensation and you stared down at him in wonder, mouth agape as you moaned out.
He curled them up, your spine melting as they pressed against a spot inside of you that had before now never been discovered. It was a blinding pressure, tight and full and so fucking good.
Harry smirked at the apparent shock on your face before he moved his fingers, curling them against your g-spot. As he found a rhythm, he brought his mouth back to your clit.
You arched your back, gasping for air as he worked you. He pumped his fingers hard, bringing you higher and higher to an elevation you'd never known. His mouth left your clit and before you could complain at the loss, he was spitting on it once more before giving it a mild slap with his free hand.
You screamed out, not expecting the harshness to feel that enticing. You were being far too loud for him to continue this comfortably. He didn't want anyone to interrupt and moreover, he didn't want you to get in trouble. He wanted to make you come over and over without a care in the world.
The same hand that slapped you retrieved your panties from his pocket before he shoved the lace into your mouth.
If you weren't so blissed out, you may have even be shocked by it. But at that moment, it was so hot and dirty. You trusted him to know best and look after you.
His fingers pulsed against your g-spot and you felt an intensity building in your abdomen and you rolled your hips towards his face. His mouth was relentless on your clit, desperate to get you zoned out with pleasure.
Your walls clenched and ballooned around his fingers and he pulled away, his eyes on you. They were full of lust and hunger, piercing right through you.
"Eyes on me sugar, don't look away." He wanted to watch you. To stare into your eyes, to see your orgasm shatter you.
He pumped his fingers, his pace blinding. He knew exactly what he was doing, knew exactly what to do to get you there. He grunted with the exertion, the tendons in his arm flexing and bulging with how hard he worked you.
And then he smirked, almost pleased with himself. "Have you ever squirted before?"
With your mouth full of lace, you weren't able to verbally answer. You shook your head and he thought the confused frown on your face was fucking adorable.
Before you could even think about what he was asking, the most euphoric explosion of bliss rocked through you. You cried out into the lace, your entire body shaking as you came harder than you ever had before. It was fucking annihilating. You did as you were told, your eyes not leaving his. It was hard, of course. You wanted to shut your eyes and bask in the hot sensation that was taking over every nerve in your body.
But he wanted to watch you. And he wanted you to see the burst of fluid that erupted from your cunt, past his fingers. "Thaaat's it. Good fucking girl, come all over my fingers. Just like that."
You writhed in the chair, grateful for his grip on you. You didn't stop shaking, tremors of pleasure rocking you. He helped you as you came down, your chest heaving and your body trembling with the aftershocks of your orgasm. You didn't think it was possible for you to come that way, and you could feel yourself becoming addicted to him.
Harry stood, his hand running up and down your thighs, squeezing them. He removed your panties from your mouth, leaning down to kiss you deeply. You blushed as you tasted yourself on his tongue and curiously ran a hand between your legs to feel the aftermath of your orgasm.
He watched, thinking it was so hot to see your fingers venture between your folds and along your dripping thighs.
"Feel nice?" He hummed, chuckling at your curious expression.
"So nice, I've never... I didn't think I could do that."
"You got me all wet, messy girl." He smiled, kissing you again.
He stood and helped you out of your dress, peeling off your bra so he could play with your tits. He sucked and bit at your nipples, feeling the fullness of your breasts in his palm.
"You're delicious all over, sugar." He admired your fully naked body. "Can't wait to feel you properly. See what that tight little cunt feels like around my cock."
He palmed himself as he spoke, so desperate to feel you. His expression was one of lustful longing, and you could feel it resonate between your legs as if you hadn't just had an earth-shattering climax.
"Take your clothes off." You whined, going to sit up and pouting when he stopped you.
He started to unbutton his shirt, revealing the white singlet underneath. "Stay just like that. Wanna give you my cock while you're sitting in my chair."
The chair where he sat before every show. Reciting jokes in the mirror while his hair was fussed over. The vanity where he'd first seen you, bent over it watering his flowers.
He got rid of his shirt, clearly impatient. He peeled off the white singlet too and you could have drooled at the sight of him. His broad torso and shoulders, his toned tummy, his strong pecs. The ink decorating him. Fuck, you probably did drool.
He caught the leg of the chair on his foot and dragged you closer, undoing his pants at the same time. You shifted forward, your hand reaching out to boldly cup his cock. He groaned, lulling his head back on his neck. His hand came over yours and urged you to squeeze him harder.
"You're so hard." You mewled, humming as he watched you feel him. His jaw dropped as you moved your hand expertly.
"I've been hard for you all night."
He was hyper-aware of the position you were both in and that you were on limited time. The studio was due to lock up soon, left only to after-hours security and the cleaners.
You leaned closer, pulling his pants down with his help. You ran your lips along his length over his briefs, letting your tongue flick out. He could feel the heat of your mouth seep through the material and he was losing his mind over the fact that only his briefs separated your mouth from his cock.
You peered up at him through your lashes, grabbing the band of his underwear to pull them down. You'd always been so reserved and controlled but the look on your face when you finally saw his cock had him fucking spiraling. Intimidation, thirst, determination.
With his pants and briefs pooled at his ankles, he guided you to take a hold of him. You obeyed, wanting to please him just as much as he pleased you. You pumped him slowly in your hand, loving how he felt in your fist.
"Your cock is so..."
Harry laughed, cupping your cheek and staring down at you expectantly. "What?"
"Pretty." It wasn't the word you were going for, but it wasn't the wrong word, either. He had a gorgeous cock, so thick and long. It was silky and hot and pulsed in your hand. You were impressed and intrigued.
"Pretty?" His voice was so soft as he regarded you.
"Yeah."
Pretty. He could deal with pretty. His thumb trailed across your lips. "Mm, and how's it taste?"
You pulled away marginally, grabbing his free hand and urging him to grab your hair in his tight first once more. You laid out your tongue and licked the tip of his dick, glistening with precum. You hummed at his taste and took him deeper, using your hand to spread your spit down his shaft.
Harry moaned deeply, taking a solid step forward so that you took more of him past your lips.
"Swallow me."
"Make me."
He narrowed his eyes at you, watching as you opened wide and held still, waiting for him to make you take it. With his hold on your hair, he guided you to swallow his cock. You were able to take about half, your hand working what you couldn't yet fit.
But he was helping you, not pushing you too far but doing it inch by inch. Your eyes began to water and you gagged when he pushed in deep. Your other hand was pressed against his thigh to keep yourself steady.
"Good girl." He praised, his voice low. "Take my cock so fucking well, don't you?"
He couldn't wrap his head around what was happening. He'd imagined this day far too many times to count, and it was always blurred by the unpleasant dynamic you two shared. But here you were, sucking him off after he'd made you explode around his fingers.
You loved having him down your throat. You enjoyed the challenge. He was so big and when you were able to take all of him, it was a feeling of satisfaction. He held you down until you were choking and your nose was buried in the hair around the base of his cock.
He wiped a tiny bit of smudged mascara from under your eye, admiring the blue of your eyeshadow and the colour of your lips as they wrapped around his cock. Fuck, he needed to be inside you. He was desperate for it.
He slipped you back onto the chair, angling you so that you were open to him. It happened so quickly and your mind was reeling at the sudden change. He was in full control and had no issue putting you where he wanted you. And you trusted him. He was so arrogant and you wanted to see if his bite was just as harsh as his bite. Considering the wet mess you'd made, it definitely was.
"Fuck, can't wait to feel you properly." He sighed, grabbing his cock at the base and running his tip between your legs.
Your gripped his arms, absentmindedly smoothing your fingers over some of his tattoos. "Beg me."
"What?" He raised a brow, his tone perplexed.
"Beg me to let you fuck me. You're an asshole, tell me you're sorry and beg me. Then I'll let you fuck me."
You didn't miss the way his cock throbbed when you called him an asshole, the flex in his jaw as he took in your words. Beg? Apologise?
He scoffed. "That's cute. As if you don't get so fucking wet when I'm an asshole to you. Just like how hard I get when you call me shit like that with that filthy mouth of yours."
You rolled your hips up, gripping his hip to pull him closer to you. "Please, baby. I wanna hear you beg."
The very tip of him slipped inside of you and you both moaned at the sensation. You were so wet and tight and he knew he could step forward and be inside you fully. But the expectant look you were giving him stopped him.
He gripped your throat, leaning down so he could bend over you. He gritted his teeth, his eyes hard on yours. "Please let me fuck you, sugar. Get you gushing on my cock over and over, fuckin' drown in your wet little pussy."
"Are you going to be nice?"
"But it's better when I'm mean." He crooned. "I'll make you take my cock, fuck you so hard, and won't stop until you cry."
Your eyes fluttered as he inched forward a little, sliding himself in further. The head of his cock was so snug inside of you and the way he stretched you had your toes curling. You brought your legs higher, hitching them up to his sides.
"Please," You mewled.
"Tell me, sugar." He needed to hear you say it. "Tell me you want me to fuck this dreamy cunt."
"Fuck me, Harry. Please."
"Hard?"
"Hard."
His hand tightened around your throat as he rolled his hips forward. He stretched you, so fucking big that he had to take his time to push past your tightness. His gaze narrowed as he pressed in tight, his hips flush against you. As he became fully buried inside of you, your vision tunneled on him and him only. On how good he felt, how his eyes were trained on yours.
He'd thought about what you'd look like stuffed full of his cock but he could never have imagined you being this perfect. Whimpering and moaning so fucking sweet while his hand was wrapped around your throat.
"Please move." You begged, feeling so overwhelmed with him being so thick inside of you but not moving.
He slowly retracted his hips, your pussy trembling to keep him there. He slowly pushed his hips forward again, groaning lowly as you clenched around him. He started out slow as first, wanting to ease you into it, his hands holding onto your sides. But you were desperate.
"You call that hard, baby?"
He shook his head, smiling at the bite in your tone. "You sure you can handle it?"
"What did I tell you about that ego of yours-"
He growled, seeing that you were toying with him again. He didn't want you to have the upper hand. So he started fucking you. Hard and relentless and strong. You cried out at his strength, his cock pumping against your g-spot so perfectly.
"Fuck yes, take my cock. Good fucking girl."
It was electrical. You were saturated from your orgasm he'd given you, he hit so deep, pushing against your front wall. He gripped your breasts, admiring as they bounced while he fucked you. He spat on them, unashamed in his desires to be so fucking dirty with you.
"Love your tits." He grunted. "Let me fuck them one day, sugar. Wanna see them fuckin' dripping in my cum."
"Yes, take whatever you want." You gasped.
You'd let him. He was cheeky and an asshole but he fucked you far better than anyone else ever could and he was just getting started. And you could find ways to keep his mouth busy when it started spouting nonsense.
"Yeah?" He hung over you, his curls dangling down. "Will you let me have you again, hm? Let me fuck your throat, your tight cunt, fuck- make you my plaything?"
"I want to be your plaything." You sighed, his necklace swinging in your face, glistening silver.
"You do, don't you? I'll have this pussy on my tongue while I memorise my script. Carry your panties around in my pocket and give them back to you when you've earned them."
The pressure was blinding and he brought your legs up over his shoulders so he could take you even harder. The legs of the chair scraped obnoxiously against the ground as he fucked you into it. He was brutal, making you take his cock with each harsh thrust.
You cried out, sobbing his name. He was so deep and you knew you'd be feeling him for days after. He picked you up, sitting you on the vanity. You leaned back against the mirror, icy against your back. He hauled your hips towards him, wrapping your legs around his waist.
He took his cock in his hand and fisted your hair with the other, holding you still so he could slide inside of you again. You clenched around him mercilessly, and he had to flex his hips harder so he could take you properly.
The vanity jolted on its legs under the force of him. Your hand wraps around his neck, trying to stabilise yourself against the onslaught of his thrusts.
"Call me an asshole again."
"Harry-" You jolted underneath him. "Fuck, you're an asshole."
"Yeah? Wanna hit me?"
"W-What?"
"Fucking do it. Slap me like I know you've been wanting to for the past six months."
Your hands clutched at his curls. Hitting him was the last thing on your mind right now while he was inside you. Until he'd brought it up, that is. You'd wanted to slap him on a daily basis and you wondered if he'd been reading your mind.
Mustering up courage enough to do so, you raised your hand and slapped his cheek. Not as hard as you could have, but the groan he emitted told you that you weren't gentle, either.
"So good." He grinned, his cheek reddening from your hand. You gripped his jaw harshly, licking your handprint before kissing him.
Your kisses moved to his neck and he tilted his head to give you more access to the skin. He flicked his eyes to his reflection in the mirror, finding his lustful expression, his cheek red, His eyes were alight with danger and arousal, driving his hips into you as he stared at himself. You moaned loudly as he pounded into you, unrelenting. Wanting you so out of it so that you could never look at him the same way again.
He imagined you looking at him during rehearsals, looking down at your Mary Janes with flushed cheeks. Your soft cadence as you asked him when he would fuck you next. Your surprised gasp when he'd pull you into a supply closet to fuck you hard and quick before anyone noticed your absence.
Just as you grew accustomed to the position, he flipped you, brushes and hair products flying off the top as you found balance on it. Your eyes met his in the mirror and they blazed through yours as he pushed himself into your warmth again.
"Fuck," He hissed, throwing his head back as you gripped him tightly. He held onto your shoulder and fucked you, near on slamming you into the furniture. His hand crept up to cup your throat, the other doing the same as he found a rhythm.
"Right there, don't stop." You gasped.
"Gonna think of this every time I'm in this room." He grunted. "Sit in that chair before a show and think about your perfect cunt around me. How you smile when I wrap my hands around your throat, how much you love having my cock to choke on."
"I want you to fuck me on this vanity every day, Harry."
"Every day, Sugar." He was breathless. "So much I wanna do to you. Play with you, make your pussy cream for me. Fuck, how did we go so long without this?"
He started using his height to his advantage, screwing down into you. You struggled to grasp clarity, your senses clouding as pleasure took over. His hands tightened around your throat and he took you harder when a ghost of a smile touched your lips.
He slipped two of his fingers in your mouth, hooking them into your cheek and pulling. He hissed at how fucking submissive you were and how you were willing to be just as dirty as him.
Letting go of your neck entirely, one hand moved to your hip and the other to your hair. He pulled you up, forcing you to look into the mirror.
"I'm an asshole but I fuck you good, don't I?"
You wanted to slap the smirk off his face. He could sense your annoyance at how cocky he was. He took you harder and you eyed him in the reflection, not wanting to give him an answer. And that didn't work for him.
He gripped your hair tight, pulling you back until his lips met your ear.
"Don't I?" He spat.
"Yes,"
He spanked your ass. Hard. Twice. "Yes, what?"
"Yes, you fuck me good."
Pleased, Harry reached in front of you, getting you to wet his fingers with your tongue before rubbing fast circles on your clit. Your legs turned to jelly, your body melting against him as he took you hard and played with your clit.
You felt the rush of pleasure wrap around you and grow in every nerve ending. He watched you in the mirror, intent on seeing you come again. He held you up while you writhed in his arms, his hips unyielding as he split you in half with his cock.
Your hands flew out, pushing various things off the vanity top as your orgasm barrelled towards you. Harry gritted his teeth, bending his knees to follow you as you moved so he could keep fucking you.
"You gonna come? Hm? Dirty fucking girl. Running around the studio with no panties on. This cunt was so wet for me from the start, wasn't it? Tiny dress, bossy little heels, and that fucking clipboard."
This climax was more intense than the first, but no less wet. You exploded around his cock, crying out his name before his hand came over your mouth to keep you quiet.
"Shhh. Good girl. Keep coming on my cock, don't stop, don't stop." He was feral at how good you felt around him, rubbing your clit until you were trembling at the overstimulation. His hips slowed, faltering. He was losing composure the tighter your pussy clenched around him.
He picked you up, not wasting any time in settling back on the small couch in the room. He laid flat on his back, while you straddled his hips. Your hands ran over his chest, nails digging into the skin as he gripped your ass and moved your hips.
His cock sat snuggly between your folds and you shamelessly rolled yourself along his length. You felt empty without him inside you and you lifted up, grabbing his length with a shaking hand, and slid him back into your warmth.
You both moaned out softly, his cock throbbing inside you. He could feel how close he was, as could you. Your hot and wet and dreamy cunt wasn't helping him stave it off. His vision was trained on you sitting on top of him like a fucking angel. Your tits, red from his teeth, your full hips, and your blissed-out expression.
He rolled his hips up softly, encouraging you to move. "Ride me, sugar."
You found a rhythm that had you shaking, so sensitive from your orgasms His cock pressed deliciously tight against your g-spot with every roll forward. With your hands flat on his chest, you started to bounce on him. You were so wet and the sound of it was making him crumble. The wet slaps and the way your pussy was drenching him.
His gaze met yours and he just about came. Your eyes lulled, cheeks flushed and your mouth agape as you fucked him. The most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. He grabbed your tits, playing and pulling your nipples with deft fingers. He strained his neck, moaning as you picked up your pace.
You wanted him to finish. To feel the toe-curling euphoria he'd given you. The one given when a connection like the one you had was this electric.
"Ooh, shit. Just like that." He praised, squeezing your hips so hard you knew they'd bruise.
"Yeah? You love watching me bounce on your cock, don't you?"
You'd thrown his own tactic right back in his face. The sweet voice with the daring question. Of course, he loved it. He was addicted.
"Fuck yes."
Your hand trailed up, lightly wrapping around his throat. He could feel the rings he'd given you to wear against his skin and he snarled, holding your hips and screwing up into you, meeting your thrusts. Having you fuck him with your hand around his throat had him fucking spiraling into another dimension.
"You're close," You mewled, his cock throbbing hard inside you. "I can feel it."
"Yeah? Go on, make me cum. I'm gonna cum so fucking hard for you, sugar. Gonna fill you right up, fucking take it. Take all my cum- fuck."
He let you take him while his orgasm hit. It was white-hot intense, his grip on you not lessening as he moaned out your name. He pumped you full of his cum, the thick white ropes painting your walls. His brow turned down in the middle, his lips parted a little and you could see the whites of his teeth. The thick cords in his neck protruded under your hand.
He was stunning and animalistic and brazen, even in a time when one is most vulnerable.
The muscles and tendons in his arms flexed as he held you down on top of him, humming out lowly as the flames of his orgasm dimmed into embers.
And while neither of you was sure how it would feel post the explosion, you'd expected at the very least that it would be awkward. You didn't have the fondest attachment towards each other but fuck if you weren't addicted to each other's bodies now.
He sighed, reeling in his climax. His hands crawled up your sides, encasing you and encouraging you to come down to him. He hugged you, sighing in your neck before kissing the skin. You could hear a commotion in the hallway of the crew leaving and it suddenly sunk in that you'd just fucked your boss.
And neither of you could wait to do it again.
"Should we get out of here?" He asked after a few minutes.
"We?"
"Mm. Head back to mine if you want. Got the new Sam Cooke vinyl we can jam out to."
You grinned, trailing your finger along his lips. "Can we fuck again?"
His expression mirrored yours. "We are definitely fucking again. Don't have to be as quiet at mine, wanna hear how loud you get."
You rolled your hips, feeling his cock softening and his release beginning to trickle out of you. He hummed, squeezing you as if to warn you.
"Behave, sugar."
"But that's no fun."
He couldn't disagree with that. He checked the clock and knew there was only a slim window of time for you both to leave the studio without raising any brows.
"Come on." He slapped your ass. "Let's clean up and cut out."
You slipped into the bathroom, your legs shaky from how hard he'd taken you. You cleaned up, as he'd told you to. Your reflection in the mirror was a sight for sore eyes and you tried your best to look presentable and not freshly fucked.
As you entered the dressing room again and gathered your things. Harry had dressed in his more casual clothes, a pair of mint dress pants and a t-shirt, throwing his fur coat over his shoulders. He noticed the way you slipped on your dress and smoothed out your hair, touching up your lipstick. He approached you, wrapping his arms around you as you stood in front of the vanity.
"You know I'm just gonna get you all messy again, don't you?"
"I'm counting on it."
He smirked, kissing your neck and fisting the hem of that tiny dress. You pulled away, eyeing the time. You bent over, going to pick up your panties and frowning when he snatched them up before you could.
"Hey, I need those."
"What'd I say, hm? You'll get them back when you earn them." He slipped the blue lace in his pants pocket, straightening his fur coat and holding out his hand.
"Jerk." You walked towards him, nudging his hand away and leaving the dressing room. A showcase that the feisty dynamic between you was here to stay. The lights were off in the studio now, aside from a few dim ones high up on the walls. He scoffed, racing after you. He lagged behind a few steps, wanting to watch your legs as you walked. You turned, throwing him a dubious look and he smiled innocently as he was caught checking you out. "What are you-"
A gleam of a security guard's flashlight lit up the wall next to you. Harry swore, pulling you towards the exit before you were spotted. You wouldn't get in trouble per se, but being sneaky was so much more exciting than sticking around.
"Shit- let's haul ass, sugar. Wanna play with you all night."
The warmth and adoration he felt on stage, under those lights with every pair of eyes set on him. It was a dimmed sensation compared to how he felt with you. His sugar. Saccharine yet equally as fervent, gooey and thrilling and sticking to him as if magnetised to his cells. 
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mikewheeleranti · 1 year
Text
hogwarts legacy characters as tropes
includes: sebastian sallow, ominis gaunt, garreth weasley, amit thakkar
a/n: to the sebastian sallow stans, i'm gonna SPARE you. in this, anne is fine and he doesn't get into the dark arts.
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sebastian sallow:
found family/friends to lovers
when you came to hogwarts, you came lonely. when you looked around after getting sorted into your house, everyone was sitting with somebody they knew, chatting away. planning to walk out, you're stopped short when a girl with short brown hair leaves her table to comes up to you. "hi, i'm anne! i couldn't help but notice you didn't have somewhere to sit, come by me and my brother, if you want to."
oh pls after that it was history, anne wasn't letting you go
ever since that dinner with anne and her twin, sebastian, in first year you were done for. sebastian's freckles and the way he blushed lightly in embarrassment when his sister would tease him for something made you swoon. ominis and anne taunted you about this endlessly, making you hide your face every time without fail.
anne definitely set you two up
anne told you many times that he did, in fact, like you back but it was hard to believe. he treated you like a normal friend, and those times you caught him staring at you he was just zoning out. so, pushing your feelings aside, you got ready to go to hogsmeade with anne, ominis, and sebastian. it took you and sebastian 15 minutes at honeydukes to realize the other 2 weren't coming. at the end of the day, you had confessed after you spilled butterbeer on his white shirt. "shit, im sorry! merlin, this is embarrassing. spilling a drink on the guy you like.." yea if u think you've seen him red you hadn't until that day.
you alr know those friendsgivings HIT
thanksgiving at hogwarts always made you a bit homesick, that feeling didn't come in 7th year with your "family." coming back to the slytherin common room after dinner, you stayed up all night talking with sebastian, who coincidentally got plastered with anne that night. " 'm gonna marry you one day" as he rested his head on your chest and dozed off, leaving your heart racing.
ominis gaunt:
forbidden romance
ominis' family would not approve of you, that is something he knew for a fact. his family was cold, distant, and in his eyes, evil. when he was younger, he would fantasize about escaping with his aunt, noctua gaunt, and moving somewhere far way. that wasn't possible anymore, but he still had you. you were his safe space, his place of hiding, and you meant everything to him. which is exactly why he had to hide you from anyone who could report your relationship to his family. many people warned you about being so close with a gaunt, but you both knew better.
many late nights sneaking around the castle and secret touches
you and ominis were once again sneaking around the castle, desperately trying to avoid peeves. his wand was leading both of you in the direction of the undercroft, linked arm in arm. when you two had gotten to the spot you made years ago, you would spend hours basking in each others presence. in the late hours of the night, ominis would make up for his lack of vision through sight and memorize everything about you. gentle touches along your face, kisses along your cheeks, forehead, eyelids, even. this man wants nothing more than to absolutely worship you, he thinks of you as his saving grace.
expect fear of his family
to put it lightly, ominis is terrified at the idea of his family ever finding you. he will do anything in his power to protect you. when the new fifth year tells him they need his help with sebastian, you are not coming, and that's final. he doesn't know what dangers may lie there. going back to the undercroft, he promises you many things, promises he will hold to his heart forever. "i will always protect you, my love" with a kiss as light as a feather below your ear. "you are so perfect" with your foreheads leaned against each other, and his hand rubbing your back.
garreth weasley:
good girl x bad boy (even if you aren't a girl)
you were never one to break rules in any way, always trying to keep up with your academics. you weren't at the top of your class, but you were up there and you had good relationships with your professors. which is why it was a little surprising that garreth weasley, the schools infamous "troublemaker" was talking to you right now. it was almost more surprising he knew your name. "y/n, help me out. please." "weasley, i am not stealing a dumb feather for you, please go back to making your wiggenweld potion."
lowkey cringed having to write troublemaker
also a bit of enemies to lovers
you were already annoyed enough that day, and the last thing you needed was weasley dragging you into his antics. though, fate was not on your side when you were walking out of the library and got dragged into a row of bookcases. "what the hell? let go of-" you were quickly cut off when garreth wrapped his hand around your mouth and kept you against a bookcase until you heard an angry professor sharp storm past. now whispering, you ask "what the hell is wrong with you?" just for him to cup the side of your face and kiss your cheek before smirking and walking away. "thank you, darling!"
it's definitely unexpected when you start dating, but not unwelcome.
his rebellious nature started to grow on you, not that you would do some of the stuff that he does around the castle. truth be told, he does find it adorable when you come up to him and proudly told him you skipped one class period. your professors and classmates alike are definitely shocked when they see you two laughing quietly together in the back of the class, but you convince him to study more and the improvement in his grades does not go unnoticed by your professors.
loves embarrassing you in public
he would never push your limits too far, but he loves teasing you in public whenever he can. he was always convinced he wouldn't be into pda, but then he met you. how could he resist from it if you were going to squirm away like that? if you told him you were uncomfortable with this he wouldn't, of course. but if you let him he would have the time of his life very obviously pulling you into an empty room when you were on your way to class.
amit thakkar:
academic rivals
amit frustrated you. you were at the top of your class for a while now, until he got out of second place and replaced you. this grabbed your attention on him, constantly glaring at him in class and in the hallways, which made you fall behind more. what was even more infuriating is that he didn't do anything more than give you a small smile in class. in fact, he admired you and your wit, and your dedication to staying at the number one spot drew him into you.
since he's the sweet man he is, he'd probably lead to your friendship
after you finally got your spot back, you didn't stop studying. there was no way anyone was going to take your spot again. astronomy was almost over, and the rest of the class was given to spend freely while professor shah handed back the most recent test. "good job, y/n." smirking, you looked at the red 98 on the parchment, turning over to amit to ask what he got. "95, what about you?" your smile could have lit the sky in replacement to the stars, he thinks. "98, maybe i should tutor you sometime." when you walk out of the room, he puts the parchment in his bag, glancing at the bold "100" on it.
people were definitely confused when you went from glaring at him to holding his hand
you were joking when you said you would tutor him, but he held your word to it. it was the week before exams and he actually had to help you grasp the fact that aries is not just a straight line. you could've gotten this long ago, but you noticed yourself becoming entranced with him. how was he so patient with you, and so kind? when you finally got the idea, you went into the exam ready. when you got one point higher than him on the exam, he congratulated you with a tight hug, and when you separated, you weren't very separated. leaning in, before your lips connected you said one last thing to him before summer. "don't think i'll go easy on you next year, you better write to me."
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grimesgirll · 3 months
Text
"darlin', it's time to go to sleep."
you whine. "but i'm still up. i'm not tired yet," you insist as you wrap your legs around his waist, grinding softly. "don't you wanna go one more time?"
rick gives you a tired smile. "i'd love to sweetheart but i already made you cum three times tonight and you’re still beggin' like this. i think it's just gonna keep you up at this point."
you pout. “no! this is the last time! i promise!”
“well, if you promise,” rick accepts your swear with a kiss and slides his slate gray boxers down to line himself up with your already spent pussy. he pushes up your frilly baby blue fur trimmed nightie just above your hips. you’d found it in a department store and it had been driving him wild ever since.
he pulls you into him as the head of his dick glides through the first few inches of you. your cunt is soaked but only an inch or two more and he’s met with that tight, ring of muscle gripping his cock. your leader groans into your neck, pulling you flush against him until you’re squealing and both your hips are snug together.
“rick!”
“isn’t this what you wanted?”
“yes!” you gasp as he picks up the pace and moves in and out of you. “you feel so good.”
“you too, honey,” he grunts into your ear.
you lay back and watch the best you can in the dark as he thrusts in and out of your dripping pussy. his chocolate curls are accented bronze from the dim glow of the outside light from the window.
head against the satin pillow, your eyes are watering and you feel like you’re at your breaking point again. “feel so good, rick,” you manage as you tighten around him.
“shit, baby, happy i can help,” the sheriff huffs as he rearranges your guts.
“so, so good,” you’re babbling as the dam bursts. your legs are numb and you feel light headed enough to see spots but rick is there to bring you right back and fuck you through your orgasm.
“love when you do that, honey,” rick groans, running a hand through your long hair while the other finds your breast. you writhe under him as he plays around with your nipple and cupping your tit. “i know you wanna do it again before you fall asleep, right?”
you nod eagerly. “yes, sir.”
suddenly rick’s lips are on yours again and he’s tapping that spot. your legs start to shake again but you hold on as your leader’s mouth travels south to suck on your nipple.
you cry and hum praises at him through your fucked out haze but he just keeps his warm mouth and a hand on your chest. his free hand goes to your clit to rub tight circles just the way you like it. you gasp into his ear as he tightens his grip on you, dropping a tit to hold your hip and fuck further into you.
“rick, rick,” you stutter.
“feel so good, honey,” rick praises.
his hand finds your breast again and you’re holding onto him for dear life as you get your brains fucked out and every part of your body overstimulated.
it’s no surprise when you cum on his cock, leaving it drenched in the results of an orgasm some people would argue wasn’t real. his dick is slick with you, from the base to the tip as he continues his tirade against your poor pussy. you are surprised that he hasn’t come yet.
“rick…”
“yes, honey?”
“when are you going to sleep?” you ask, nearly dodging kisses on your breasts, your neck, and a tongue down your throat. if only you had the energy.
“when i’m done, honey.”
“can i help?”
rick presses a sweet kiss and a smirk to your shoulder. his sweet girl, always trying to take care of him even when she was so fucked out and on the verge of sleep.
“no, honey. you can go to sleep,” he assures you, pressing another kiss to your temple and slowing the roll of his hips.
“‘kay,” you exhale and settle into the pillow as rick pulls you against his chest, literally fucking you to sleep.
it wouldn’t take him long after you fell asleep to take care of himself and paint your insides white, calm and collected after treating himself to your snug cunt.
with you asleep, he stays in you for a little bit longer before pressing a few more kisses along your neck to ease the feeling of him pulling out of you. he pulls the blanket up the way you like and wraps his arms around you, prepared to have to fight you off in the morning when you inevitably woke up with your lady boner but he didn’t mind. who doesn’t want to start off their day getting their dick wet?
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lanadelnegan · 9 months
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hyperfeminine reader x negan? he goes to alexandria to take their supplies and reader is just walking around looking all pretty and he CANT resist.
ily 💕💕
ily more bby. xx
Pretty in Pink
S7 Negan x Reader
Warnings: 18+, NSFW, smut, public sex (in front of Dwight.. like literally in the car while he's driving), Negan being overly caring and sweet with you, character death (negan kills your brother Spencer)
Note: this is dark and twisted ngl.
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I watch Negan like a deer in headlights as he whispers into my brother's ear.
"It's because.. ya got no guts." The rest of us are silent as we watch Negan slash his knife through Spencer's stomach, revealing his insides. My stomach churns as I watch him fall to the ground.
Negan chuckles as he looks around, eyeing the crowd as if he's daring us to react.
"Oh, there they are! They were inside of you the whole time." He smirks down at Spencer's lifeless body before his dark eyes roam up, meeting mine.
I quickly look down, biting my lip and fighting back tears. My nails dig into my skin as I try to remain calm.
"Well hello, princess." He slowly approaches me. "Forgive me for the gruesome scene you just had to witness." His hand rests against his chest sympathetically as he stands in front of me now, at least a foot above me.
My fingers lace together in front of me as I continue looking down, digging my dirty white shoe into the gravel.
"I don't believe we've met, sweetheart... In fact, I know we haven't because I definitely would have noticed you, looking all pretty in this little pink skirt."
I look up at him innocently through my lashes. His head cocks to the side as he subtly leans back, noticing the tear slipping from my cheek.
"Shit, darlin'. I am so sorry. That wasn't your boyfriend I just ripped open, was it?" He motions towards Spencer.
I softly shake my head no, earing a grin from him as he tilts my chin upwards to meet his stare.
"He - he was my brother." I sniffle, feeling another tear slide from my cheek.
Negan's jaw ticks and his eyes shut painfully tight as his hand slowly retreats from my chin.
"Goddamn it... If I woulda known.." He shakes his head with disappointment, noticing everyone still standing around us. "Enjoying the fucking show, people?!" He gestures for everyone to clear out before turning his attention back to me.
Sighing loudly, he delicately picks me up in his arms, holding me like a baby. I allow him to carry me as I bury my face into his shirt, soaking it with my tears.
"Ssshhh, babyyy." He whispers against the top of my head as he walks us to his van.
"Dwight! Let's go, you're driving."
"Boss? The supplies.. we don't have them loaded yet." Simon interrupts.
"I'm sorry." Negan's voice vibrates through his chest and into my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. "Does it look like I give two fucks about supplies right now?"
He doesn't wait for Simon to answer as he opens the passenger door, joining Dwight in the van while carefully maneuvering me in his lap. My legs face towards Dwight while the side of my body leans into Negan.
"Hey, sshhh. It's okay, baby. What's your name?" He rubs my back comfortingly.
"Y/n." I whisper, sniffing my runny nose.
"Y/n, you're gonna stay with me tonight so I can make sure you're okay. I truly am sorry about your brother."
I nod my head, leaning against him. This is the first physical affection I've had from anyone since our parents died. Although it's from a man I'm supposed to hate, I can't deny how nice it feels to be touched.
My brother and I drifted apart when our family found Alexandria and made it our own. He turned into someone I didn't recognize, all power-hungry and selfish.. and although he probably deserved to die, he was still my brother. I'll always love him.
I allow myself to snuggle into Negan, my face against his neck as I inhale his scent of leather and citrusy hair gel.
"Gonna make you forget all about that asshole brother of yours, darlin'." His large, veiny hand glides up my thigh until it settles just underneath the frills of my skirt. He rubs circles on my smooth skin with his thumb, comforting me sweetly.
The drive back to the sanctuary seems to last a decade and I watch the way Dwight zones out at the road in front of him, not paying attention to us.
My hand bravely drifts on top of Negan's and I slide his hand deeper underneath my skirt, watching it disappear completely. I know how wrong this is, but I can't help my attraction to him. I've watched him from the window of my room too many times to count, wondering what his lips feel like. Doodling his name next to little hearts in my diary. This is what I've wanted, even if it's under these circumstances.
Negan's eyes widen a little as he looks at me, surprised by my forwardness.
He glances at Dwight before looking back up at me, his heavy eyelids slightly covering his hazel eyes as a smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth.
I reach my finger up to graze over his puffy bottom lip in a "shush" motion before leaning in to kiss him. His body remains still as his lips part, letting my tongue slip past his. He groans softly and Dwight glances at us, bringing his eyebrows together.
"Eyes on the fucking road, Dwight." Negan says with our mouths still connected. I let my hands explore him, roaming them up his body and feeling his chest through his t-shirt.
His hard cock presses into my ass as I turn myself to face him, bringing one leg over until they're both hanging over each side of him and I'm straddling his lap. He grips my ass under my skirt as his head falls back slightly, waiting for my next move.
"Negan.."
"Yeah, baby?" His voice is low and raspy.
"Touch me."
His teeth sink into his bottom lip as he urges my back into the dashboard. My mouth gapes open when he pulls my panties to the side, revealing my pussy to him.
"Look at this pretty pink pussy, baby." He breathes out as his finger slides through my wet folds.
"So wet for daddy. Wish I could fucking take you right here."
I look at Dwight, who's trying his best to pretend we're not here, but the sudden sensation of Negan curling his finger inside me snaps my attention back to him.
"So do it, then." I urge him.
His eyebrows raise. "Ohh, sweetheart. So desperate for some cock." His hands find their way to my hips, tracing over them slowly as I lean back up.
"Just yours." I admit and he chuckles softly.
"Is that right, baby? You've thought about me before, huh? Touched yourself to the thought of my cock inside you."
I nod, letting my fingers run through his slicked back hair and I can't help but grind myself into him, desperate for some friction.
"Take it then. I'm not stoppin' you."
That's all the confirmation I need before reaching for his belt and unbuckling him until his pants are a few inches down his thighs.
My hand reaches in his boxers, pulling out his hardening cock. Negan watches my face as I tug on him a couple times, admiring the way he grows longer and thicker in my hand.
I don't waste any time hovering above him as he slides my panties to the side again, helping me me sink down onto him. I moan out at the fullness as my head slightly falls back.
"Thaaat's it, baby." He groans, digging his fingers into my hips while I bounce on him.
A pothole in the road causes the van to dip suddenly, and my hips collide with his completely, causing the tip of his cock to push violently against my cervix. I cry out loudly at the sharp pain, but continue riding him faster and deeper until tears fill my eyes.
His head rests against the back of the seat as he watches me ride him. "Such a good fucking girl. You wanna be my wife, baby? I'll take such good care of you."
My eyes widen a little at the unexpected offer. "Uh, I - I dunno."
"That's alright, baby. I have all night to convince you. Don't think it'll take much, considering how desperate you were for my cock." He smiles up at me arrogantly.
My moans get faster and louder along with his. "You gonna cum for me, sweetheart?"
I nod as his finger finds my clit with ease, rubbing it just the right way to send me over the edge. He kisses me hard right when my pussy floods his dick, causing a wet spot on his black jeans.
"FUCK. Look at that." He dips his finger in my wetness before bringing it up to my mouth, making me taste myself. I moan around his finger, sucking gently.
"You ready for my cum, baby?"
I nod, wanting to taste him so badly. As if he heard my thoughts, he lifts me off of him until I'm on my knees in the floorboard between his legs.
I watch as he strokes himself a couple times, my eyes darting back and forth between the tip of his swollen dick to his handsome face. His head falls back while his lips part, letting out a deep groan before long ropes of warm cum splatter onto my face and tongue. I close my eyes, savoring the taste of him as I suck his tip dry.
"Goddamn baby. Look at the mess you made." He reaches for my face, wiping his load off my chin with his thumb and sliding it into my mouth. I moan around him again, loving his salty unique taste before climbing up into his lap and leaning my head against his chest.
I close my eyes to the sound of his rapid heartbeat and feeling of his gentle hand stroking my hair.
How can the same hands that ended my brother's life be so... gentle with me.
Dwight shuts the engine off, exiting the van awkwardly once we arrive. Neither of us move, but I smile softly when Negan fixes the white bow in my hair, pinning it back in place and causing my heart to front flip in my chest.
"Negan..." I whisper.
"Yeah, baby?"
"... I'll be your wife."
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stardustpr1ncess · 2 months
Text
Bonzle is 100% without a shadow of a doubt a trans allegory. People have been trying their best to say Sora isn't transcoded, but Bonzle is 2 scenes away from looking at the camera and saying "Hello. I'm a trans allegory." I shall now go into detail on every piece of evidence for this claim because fuck you.
EPISODE 5: Bonzle is afraid of how her found family will react to learning she's a spell (trans) and worries she will be rejected because of it. Easy parallel to trans people being afraid of revealing they're trans post transition. There's also her conversation with Bitch Boy Master Wu, with her saying she feels great loneliness, and only after gaining a physical form (transitioning) she feels happy and her true self. Very common trans experience. Gonna also put all of the quotes for my evidence as well since I know there's transphobes (filth) that like Ninjago and will be scrambling to deny it when people start coming to this conclusion too.
"Bonzle: I-- I was afraid of what you'd think if you knew about my past... Wu: It's called loneliness... Bonzle: I feel like, for the first time ever, I've become who I was destined to be... Bonzle: I was afraid if you found out I wasn't a real person, you wouldn't want me to be in our family anymore."
EPISODE 6: Bonzle is apprehensive about meeting with Gandalaria, seeing as how she's only known Bonzle as a spell, aka pre transition. She worries if she will respect her identity, much like how actual trans people fear how their family, more specifically a parental figure, would react. Bit of a light episode but an important aspect, here's the quotes;
"Bonzle: The Sorceress. She only knows me as a spell. What if she doesn't believe in me as a real person?"
EPISODE 7: This episode is the sauce. Bonzle is reunited with Gandalaria and their conversation is nothing short of magical. Gandalaria immediately recognizes Bonzle, saying she was her greatest creation and had always hoped she'd come home, shattering Bonzle's fears. It's a fantastic contrast, showing how this interaction can go well for some people, while others get an interaction much more akin to Sora's parents. When she's informed of Bonzle's chosen name, Gandalaria immediately starts using it, saying it's a great name. However, for that juicy authenticity, Gandalaria accidentally says spell before quickly correcting herself saying Bonzle. IT'S LITERALLY SO FUCKING OBVIOUS BONZLE'S BONES MIGHT AS WELL BE BLUE PINK AND WHITE. Oh yeah, here's the paragraph of quotes;
"Gandalaria: It's you! My dearest! You've come home! Bonzle: You... You recognize me? Even in my boney physical form? Gandalaria: Oh, I would know your true essence anywhere. Bonzle: I was so afraid you wouldn't accept me for who I am now. Gandalaria Are you kidding? I put my heart, my soul into every spell I weave... The most complex spell I've ever woven, and the first of my creations to ever come back to me!.. Bonzle: I'm Bonzle. That's the name I chose when I became a person. Gandalaria: Well, that's a splendid name... If this Ras times it right, he could reverse the power spell-- uh, Bonzle here--."
EPISODE 9: This episodes importance comes from Jordana, who acts EXACTLY how transphobes do. She constantly calls her a spell (some sort of derogatory term), says she's playing person (like pretending to be a girl), and says she's helping her do what she was made for, like transphobes very creepy beliefs in reproduction. Literally you half expect Jordana to ask which bathroom Bonzle uses since she was a spell. THE QUOTES;
"Jordana: Settle down, spell. I don't know what you think you've been doing, playing person with your fake family, but I know your true purpose... You should thank us. We're helping you to do what you were created to do."
In conclusion the silly lego skeleton girl is one of them spooky transgenders. Lmk if there's anything I missed. Thank you for reading.
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fandomxpreferences · 1 year
Text
You're Good For Me
Masterlist
Pairing: Rafe Cameron x female!reader
TW: 18+, soft Rafe has my heart, drug use, insecurities, mentions of vomiting, angst, fluff, drinking, I think thats it
Summary: You're a goody two shoes compared to Rafe and your insecurities lead you to make a reckless decision.
Word Count:2.7k
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Despite Rafe's best efforts to snuff them out, you still have burning insecurities when it comes to your relationship with him. You don't consider yourself as beautiful as his past flings - though he tells you constantly that you're the most stunning and ethereal woman he's ever laid eyes on- you don't come from a family as wealthy as his, and you're not a partier. 
You've always wondered if it bothers Rafe that you can't seem to keep up with his lifestyle. You've never done anything more than drink or smoke weed, and it's no secret he's into party drugs. So when he told you he was throwing a party tonight, you made a decision. 
As soon as you step foot in the house, you're greeted by your smiling boyfriend. 
"Hey, angel. I was wondering when you were gonna show up. You want a drink?"
You return his grin and nod your head, melting into him when he bends down to give you a sweet kiss. You watch as he waltzes off toward the kitchen and immediately start looking around for his usual crowd. 
You spot them sitting around a table and push down your anxiety while making your way over. Topper spots you first and stands to give you a short hug. 
"Well if it isn't the kook king's queen. Where's Rafe?" 
Your hands wring together as you give a timid smile and nod toward the kitchen. 
"He's getting me a drink." 
You turn when you hear Kelce speak up and he pats the spot next to him. 
"Well come join us until he gets back. We haven't seen a lot of you lately." 
You fall into a comfortable conversation and try to find a way to weasel in the question without being too forward. Luckily, the opportunity presents itself when Topper pulls out a baggie and starts making lines. 
You eye the white powder while gnawing on your lip and he seems to notice, looking from the table, to you, and back again. 
"You want to do some?" He offers and you hesitate before agreeing. This is why you came over here; this is what Rafe wants. 
You watch as a couple people go ahead of you, snorting up the powder with a rolled-up hundred-dollar bill and swallow thickly. They do it all the time, how bad can it be?
"Top, I don't think that's a good idea." Kelce protests, eyes darting around to try and find Rafe. 
"Oh come on. She's a big girl. She can make her own decisions, right?" He retorts, shooting you a wink. 
"Besides, I'm sure she does this shit with Rafe all the time."
Rafe is caught up in a conversation that he got pulled into when his eyes start drifting away to find you. His lips quirk up when he sees you laughing with his friends. He's always loved how you get along with them so well, it's like his own little found family. 
His smirk quickly drops when he sees Topper pull out an all too familiar dime bag and dump it on the table. He's no stranger to doing bumps, but he knows you've never been around it before. He's just about to excuse himself when he sees Topper ask you a question that you answer with a nod. 
His heart stops and suddenly he feels sick to his stomach. No, surely not. There's no way that his friends would offer you drugs, and there's definitely no way you would accept. 
He watches in horror as time seems to go in slow motion, his feet carrying him toward you as soon as he sees you take the bill and drop to your knees. He's plowing through the crowd ruthlessly, ignoring the complaints as he knocks people off balance and drinks slosh out onto the hardwood floor. 
He's a few seconds too late and his mind goes into overdrive when your head lifts up with white powder around your nose. 
"What the fuck?" He bellows, and you look up at him with eyes wide as saucers. 
He didn't mean to scare you, and guilt eats at him for a second before he remembers the situation at hand. He isn't mad at you, he could never feel anything but love and adoration for the woman that holds his heart. 
Topper is already gone, his body buzzing as he fails to read the room. 
"Rafe, buddy! Why don't you join us?" He asks, and your boyfriend's eyes narrow into slits.
"Did you just give my girlfriend fucking coke?" He seethes, already knowing the answer but wanting to hear his friend admit it. 
Topper scoffs lightly and leans back on the couch.
"Yeah, so? You used to do this shit all the time, I didn't think it was a big deal." 
Rafe can feel the familiar sensation of rage clawing at his chest, intensifying in the way it does right before he loses control. He takes a deep breath to calm down, not wanting to let that ugly side of him out. You've never seen him like that, and being coked out when it happens will only make it worse. 
"Yeah, asshole. Used to. You ever wonder why I stopped? It's because I don't want her around this shit!" 
Kelce stands in between the men, already seeing where this is going to go. 
"Rafe calm down, okay? He didn't know." 
Your boyfriend is just about to argue when he feels your small hand on his forearm. His head turns to look down at you, and his features soften instantly. Your smile is beaming and he can tell it's starting to hit you. 
His eyes meet yours and he suppresses the urge to throw up when he sees how blown out your pupils are. Your usually bright eyes are now glossed over and your irises are barely visible around the black in the center. 
"Rafey, I'm fine. I'm one of you guys now!" 
He hates how excited you sound; as if being one of them is a good thing. His hearing gets fuzzy as a loud ringing starts in his ears when your words sink in. 
'I'm one of you guys now.'
Is this what you think he wants? Had he said or done something to make you believe that you need to participate in this bullshit for him to love you? His head spins as the thoughts race through his mind and bile rises in his throat as puts the pieces together.
Is this his fault?
The rest of the world melts away as he laser focuses on you. Your cheeks have an unusual red tint to them and there's the faintest bit of sweat beading on your hairline. Suddenly, all he can think of is getting you out of here. 
You've never had anything close to this in your system, and he wants to be there for every second in case something goes wrong. 
"Hey, pretty girl. Let's go outside, yeah?" 
You nod eagerly as he sends his friend one last death glare before pulling you out back by the pool. A few people are lingering, but it's significantly quieter than inside and it puts him at ease a bit. 
His head whips around when your hand leaves his and he frowns as you kick off your shoes. 
"What are you doing?"
You don't answer; instead, you stick your tongue out and jump into the pool fully clothed. Any other time he would laugh and probably even join you, but right now all he can think about is you drowning as he scrambles to the pool edge. 
"Baby, get out of the pool."
His voice is calm as he tries desperately to hide just how close he is to losing it. Your laugh rings out into the night sky as you start floating on your back and he sighs. 
"Come on, don't be such a party pooper!" 
He remembers the first time he did blow. The way he felt like he was invincible and on top of the world. It was fun; until it wasn't. He resigns to his fate, pulling off his own shoes and shirt before climbing in with you. 
He knows there's no getting through to you, and if you won't cooperate then the least he can do is make sure you're safe. He can't help but smile as you dive under the water and start swimming like a mermaid, clearly enjoying yourself.
The damage is already done, he might as well let you enjoy the high while it lasts. He's intimately familiar with the god-awful crash you're going to have in a couple hours. 
He'd been surprised to find out the high only lasts about a half hour, followed by a couple hours of coming down before the real pain starts. 
It can't hurt to let you feel a little euphoric before you feel like you've been run over by a truck multiple times. His heart clenches at the idea of seeing you like that, and he feels dread course through his veins. 
He swims around with you for a bit, the two of you giggling like kids and having splash fights. Though he never wants you to do this again, he can't help but bask in the beauty of how happy you look. You're the most bubbly person he knows, and still, he's never seen you this giddy. 
He's not sure how long it's been, but concern washes over him when he starts to notice your behavior change. Your movements are slowed as the substance leaves your system and you look like you haven't slept in days. 
You're not laughing and smiling anymore; in fact, you look like you're seconds from bursting into tears. He swims over to you slowly and pulls you into his arms as gently as he can. 
"You okay, sweet girl?" 
He knows you're starting to feel like shit, he can sense it in the way you cling to him like a lifeline and respond quietly. 
"My head hurts." 
Your voice is barely above a whisper and he squeezes his eyes shut. He knew this was coming, yet part of him hoped that you could just surpass this part. 
"I know, baby. Why don't we go inside and get dried off? I'll get you some water and we can cuddle." 
He feels you nod weakly into his neck and realizes he's going to have to carry you when you don't relinquish your grip. He carefully climbs up the pool steps and holds you against his chest tightly as he supports your weight with ease. 
You're both sopping wet and dripping water as he makes the trek inside, but he doesn't care in the slightest. His only worry right now is making sure you're okay. 
He passes Sarah on the way and she frowns as she takes in your state. 
"What happened to her? Is she okay?"
Rafe just continues on his path, biting out a response in passing. 
"Why don't you ask your boyfriend?"
Confusion washes over her and she turns to find him in the room. He's still doing lines with his friends and realization washes over her. 
She follows her brother, well aware of what this is going to entail from her own experiences of taking care of Topper. 
Rafe sits you on his bed and places your favorite hoodie of his on your shivering body after towel-drying you the best he can. Every little sound is amplified and it's like a jackhammer on the inside of your skull.
You lean into your boyfriend's touch as he runs his hands through your hair and try to focus on the smell of his cologne. You wince when you hear a soft knock on the door and Rafe tenses. He's really not in the mood to deal with anyone's shit right now. 
The door creaks open and Sarah stands in the doorway, concern etched on her features. 
"I thought I'd see if there's anything I can do to help."
Rafe looks back at you for a second before responding. 
"Can you keep an eye on her while I get some water and food?" 
Sarah nods but Rafe stops when your hand shoots out to grab him. 
"No! Please don't leave me."
His heart breaks at the way your voice wobbles and he notices your bottom lip quivering. He shoots Sarah a look and she nods before leaving the room. She comes back a few minutes later with a glass of water and some protein bars and sits on the bed next to you. 
Once you seem to calm down a bit, Rafe stands and your head throbs when you jerk to look at him. 
"I'm just going to go kick everybody out. I'll be right back, stay here with Sarah." 
The younger girl gives you a kind smile and you watch reluctantly as Rafe turns his back and walks out. He gets back a couple minutes later, panic rising when you're not where he left you. It's quickly replaced with concern when he hears retching coming from his bathroom. 
He peeks his head in and feels tears sting his eyes at the sight of Sarah holding your hair back as you lean over the toilet. He hates this. 
Sarah gives him a sympathetic smile when he walks over and takes your hair from her. She pats him on the back and lets herself out, knowing the two of you want privacy. 
You vaguely register Rafe putting your hair in a ponytail before his hands come down to rub soothing circles on your back. 
"I've got you. I'm right here, sweet girl."
This goes on for a few more minutes before you plop down on the marble floor with an exhausted huff. You reach up and flush the toilet, trying to hide your face in your hands. Rafe pulls them away and turns you to look at him. 
Your throat closes up when you see the pure adoration in his eyes, and before you realize what's happening sobs are wracking your body. Rafe shushes you as he picks you up and carries you back into the bedroom. 
He tucks you into the covers and climbs in, his arms instantly pulling you into him. He reaches across to the nightstand and holds the straw to your mouth as you take giant gulps. 
"Slow down, you'll make yourself sick again."
He places the cup back down and you turn to lay your head on his chest. 
"This feels like shit. I don't even know why I'm crying." You choke and he brushes a stray piece of hair out of your face. 
"It's the dopamine crash. It'll pass, I promise."
A comfortable silence falls over the two of you and you're almost asleep when you hear Rafe's voice in your ear. 
"Why did you do that?"
He sounds on the verge of tears and guilt washes over you.
"I want to be good enough for you. I felt bad that you stopped having fun because of me, so I thought if I did it maybe I wouldn't hold you back anymore." 
Rafe tenses as his worst fear is confirmed. Your confession swirls around his head for a minute before he finds the strength to reply. He swallows the lump in his throat and wills himself to keep it together.
"Angel, I didn't stop having fun because of you. This shit is not fun. Getting to love you and live life with you, that's fun. That's what makes me happy. I was miserable and spiraling before I met you. Please, don't ever do that again. You're good for me, and that's one of the reasons I love you so much." 
You feel a fresh round of tears fall as they seep into his shirt and he squeezes you tighter. 
"I'm sorry."
He shakes his head and presses a soft kiss to your temple. 
"I'm not upset with you. Just please be safe, and never do something like that because of me, okay?" 
You sniffle and nod, suddenly feeling stupid. 
"Hey, I can practically hear those thoughts of yours. You're okay, we're okay, everything is okay. Let's get some sleep and I'll take you to breakfast in the morning. You're going to be starving."
Almost as soon as the words leave his mouth, he breathes a sigh of relief as your soft snores fill the room. Everything is right again as his girl is safe in his arms, far away from the life he once lived.
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gawkingatyourface · 3 months
Text
Sweetest Tail | one
summary: A new recruit, Sas joined the Hazbin Hotel after the extermination which made Charlie so happy that she was jumping with joy. This new recruit took the whole crew to their only family that was outside of Pentagram City. Not realizing what they were getting into or more like whom they'll meet.
pairing: Lucifer x fem!reader , Alastor x fem!reader , Azrael x fem!reader
warnings: blood, death, cursing, angst
notes: Hi everyone :D I got so much love on the preview that I'm so happy that you guys really enjoyed it! I've been working on this series to make it as best as i can do it. So here's the first part so hope you like it! it will be a bit different from the show so here it is! Enjoy ! Feedback is appreciated! <3
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EONS AGO
[Y/N] stood in front of several angels that were standing in her way as well as the gates of Heaven that wouldn't open for her. She eyed them all with anger and betrayal especially towards one.
One that she never thought would betray her.
He did.
The last memory she had was of feeling cold and lifeless in her home. She remembers seeing her little brother above her with tears in his eyes as his voice faded from her ears. He was the only person that was always by her side. She would miss him a lot. That was when she was on earth.
After that, she woke up in a dark place. The sky that used to be baby blue with white clouds all over now was black with red clouds. She was confused as to what this place is. She got up and walked around to see it so deserted. No one else was there.
Only her.
She felt so alone.
She sighed as she ran her finger thru her hair but stopped once she noticed something different. She gripped on her ears? She gasped as she tighten her grip and felt her body feel some sort of tingle. She let go of it but then she noticed something behind her. She slightly turned to see fluffy, white tails.
Tails?!
She had nine tails attached to her back. Her eyes widen as she twirled around like a dog trying to catch its tail. She stopped as she was getting a headache of all this. This was just too confusing for her. She didn't know where she was at and now she had ears and tails.
She knew that standing here wouldn't help her so she decided to look around this place that would soon be her home.
After a few years, she found out that was in hell or what she calls it "Wrathifuca". She became Queen of Wrathifuca since she was the first one that had shown up and decided to make this her own place to rule. Several more years, more sinners showed up that eventually became her warriors. She was vicious, powerful yet understanding.
Well, sometimes.
Most of them wanted to duel her for her crown which she gave everyone a chance to take her throne.
None never could.
Wrathifuca and Heaven would always butt heads.
Until he came along.
[Y/N] had gone up to Heaven for a meeting with God. She didn't like being in Heaven. She felt like an outsider, a freak. They all were so nice and sweet to her. She knew that most of people had good intentions but there were certain ones that didn't.
She had the meeting with God alongside some higher ups that disliked her. The meeting didn't last long since her nor God ever came to an understanding.
As she made her way out, she bumped onto someone. She was about to fall until she felt arms around her waist, making her avoid falling on her ass. She cursed under her breath at how stupid she must of looked.
"You know that you shouldn't curse when your up here." A dark, cocky voice was heard.
She rolled her eyes as she looked up at her savior which caused her to stop her breathing.
She met these eyes. These gold-colored eyes that were staring into hers.
"What you falling for me already Queen of Wrathifuca?"
His comment made her scoff as she pushed him away, keeping a distance from him.
She glanced at him before walking off, wanting to go back home but once she took several steps, her head met his chest. She groaned as she was gonna step away once again, but she felt her body being pulled by him once again. He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her body against his. No space between their bodies which he wanted ever since he saw her.
"What is up with you?! Let me go!" She said as she stared up at him with a glare that would make anyone run off in terror.
"Not happening, wifey."
"Wifey?! What the-"
"Nuh uh! Remember what I said, no cursing here."
She rolled her eyes and looked away. She didn't know what's his deal and why he wouldn't let her leave.
"Can you please let me go so I can go home?"
"Hmm...nope."
Her eyes flared up as she looked up at him, not believing at how he's behaving.
"What do you mean nope? Who are you anyway?!"
His lips curved into a smile as he closer to her face making her back away.
"The name is Azrael wifey. Don't forget it."
She rolled her eyes.
"Already forgot it."
She watched as one of her tails slammed him against the wall, knowing that it'll take him a while to get to her. She quickly ran off to get out there. She knew that Heaven was trouble. Real trouble. Yet, once she got back home; she couldn't forget his name nor his gold eyes that she grew to admire.
The same with him; he missed her so much. He loved her glare. Her beautiful eyes. Her voice. Just everything about her. He had first saw her when she got there in Heaven and he couldn't help but keep his eyes on her. She was so magnificent and beautiful like a forbidden fruit that he couldn't have.
But he would have her. No matter what, she would be his.
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As time went by, [Y/N] would get unexpected visits from Azrael. Her sinners were defending her from him which they wouldn't stand a chance against him. She knew that so she had told them to back away. She knew instantly that he was very powerful and there was no way that her bodyguards wouldn't stand a chance.
Every visit from him, he would just watch her do her duties or just rant to her about how boring Heaven is.
She didn't know why he felt so comfortable with her or why bother telling her all this.
She was so confused yet she didn't mind his presence.
After so many visits, she grew comfortable with him. He would always make her laugh with his jokes and stories about heaven with Michael and Gabriel.
Even some of the sinners were familiar with him every time he came over to see her.
Azrael would sometimes get jealous over some of the sinners getting too close to [Y/N]. He knew that it'll take for her to accept him but there's only so much that he can take.
His possessiveness and jealousy sometimes overtook him.
"What are you doing here?"
He shrugged his shoulders and gave her a smile.
"What? I can't come here and check if you sinners are behaving."
She rolled her eyes as she turned around.
"That's nothing for you to worry about."
"That is true but I am worried about something else."
She let out a sigh as she regretted her next words.
"And what would that be?"
She didn't hear anything which confused her since he always had a comment. But she felt something. She looked up to see him in front of her. Giving her his famous smile as he had one of his hands on top of her head, patting her ears and hair. She wanted to growl at him so bad. To snap his hand off her yet his touch made her feel something. Something in her gut that was telling her to not stop him.
Before she could say anything, she finally heard his voice.
"I'm worried about my wifey."
That word again.
That name that he would always call her. It irked her that he would call her that. He had no right to yet her heart melted when he would say it.
"I-i'm not your wifey!" She yelled at him as her ears were turning red alongside her face.
"You will be."
"Wha-"
Before she could yell at him, she felt his lips against her in a deep kiss. Her eyes widen as she tried to push him again but he wouldn't let her. She felt her back against the wall while her mouth was being devoured by him. She could easily push him away if she really wanted to.
His touch did something to her. Made her feel something she never felt before.
After a while of their heavy make out session, he finally pulled away from her lips.
Both gasping for air as they stared into each other's eyes.
"You will always be my wifey. That will never change." He said it with a deeper voice as he placed both of his hands on her face, making her stare into his eyes.
"This will never work."
"It will, my wifey."
She rolled her eyes with a smile on her face which he loved so much.
He couldn't help but smash his lips against her once again, making her giggle at him. His lips curved into a smile, wanting nothing more than to hear more of her sounds.
But she was right.
It was never gonna work.
Once heaven found out about her and Azrael's relationship, a war was coming to Wrathifuca. Something that [Y/N] knew was bound to happen. She knew that being with him would have this effect.
Effect her home. Her sinners.
What she didn't expect was that Azrael was the one that gave the order to the exorcists.
Earlier that day, she had a very surprised guest visiting.
It was Sera.
[Y/N] had heard of her and has had meetings with her before. But this was too unexpected since she would of never gone down there.
She knew that something was happening. She felt it in her whole body.
"[Y/N], your and Azrael's relationship has to come to an end."
"And who are you to decide that?"
"I didn't. I'm just here to let you know about what's to come if you don't."
[Y/N] rolled her eyes.
"And what is that?"
"War. The exorcists are coming to kill you all."
[Y/N] frowned as she stood up from her throne and glared at Sera.
"Why you-"
Sera held out a hand.
"I'm just the messenger. The one that did the order was your beloved Azrael."
Her eyes widen at what Sera had just told her.
"No. It can't be him. You're lying!"
"I am not, [Y/N]. He's one of the leaders and part of the organization that created the exorcists."
[Y/N]'s mind was going everywhere. She didn't know what to say or think. The person that she had fallen for had betrayed her.
"I want him to tell me. Not you Sera."
"He's forbidden to come here anymore, but I will show you."
Suddenly, a shiny, portal appeared next to Sera as some sort of video was playing.
It showed Azrael with Sera and Lute.
"Sir, what are our next move?"
"Go down and destroy them all. They all deserve to die. Don't leave any survivors. Understood."
"Yes sir."
That's all that [Y/N] needed as she turned to Sera and told her to leave and never show in front of her face again.
Sera disappeared as [Y/N] was lost in thought thinking about what to do.
But she didn't have much time.
As her home was being destroyed, so was her heart. She knew that all this time yet she hoped for a different solution.
If only.
She decided to fight one more time before she disappeared. She had dealt with the exorcists before. For many eons. It was different now. Now she had a broken heart after knowing the truth so now her wrath was out and no one could stop her.
Especially as she saw her family, her sinners dead in front of her. For protecting her.
Her hands turned into fists as her true form came out and absolutely destroyed every angel that was in her sight.
They killed her home. Her sinners.
It didn't take long after they were all dead.
She was filled with blood. Her chest breathing heavily as she was hurting. It didn't show on the outside but inside, she was dead. She glared at the red sky, knowing that they are watching her. She shook her head and turned around to see several survivors kneeling down to her. She gave them a small smile before giving them a signal.
"I'm no longer gonna be Queen of Wrathifuca. Just a normal sinner like the rest. You can follow me and live a quiet life. Or you choose your own path. It's your own decision. I won't get upset from your decision."
She watched them as they all agreed to stay with her. She gave them a nod and smile as she made her way out of the city that she had cared for. Now, she had to leave it for someone else to take care of it. She gave it one last look before leaving it forever for the next King or Queen that will take over.
Not realizing that someone was watching her from above.
Azrael's fists kept slamming on the desk as he felt nothing but pain. He couldn't believe that Sera had given his exorcists the decision to destroy that place. The place that was owned by his beloved. His wifey. His [Y/N].
He was gonna go to her. He needed to see her. To explain to her.
"You will not go there Azrael."
He froze as he turned around to see Sera and Lute. He glared at them both as he laughed.
"And why the fuck not?!"
"No cursing Azrael-"
"Shut it Sera. You did this! You went and told her didn't you! You did all this!"
Sera sighed as she nodded at him.
"It had to be done Azrael."
"Why Sera!? Why did it had to go this way?!"
"Because she was changing you sir!" Lute suddenly said as she was getting frustrated. "You wouldn't be around anymore. Always going down there with that bitch!"
Azrael's glared even more.
"You shut it bitch before I make it worse for you."
"Azrael enough. We all decided that this is what's best for you both."
"By making her hate me forever? By not seeing her at all?!"
"Yes. If you want a partner, there are many here-"
"Sera if you don't stop talking, I'll do something to you."
Sera sighed as she turned around, about to leave.
"It was bound to happen Azrael. Nothing was gonna be different. She was bound to find out. Even if you had told her, you think she'd react differently. She's a sinner. Will always be."
Azrael watched her and Lute walking out of his office. He gripped on his hair as he started to destroy his whole office. Smashing and tearing things apart. He was losing his mind. He couldn't see her. Couldn't be near her. He needed to know if she was okay. Needed to explain to her.
It was like she was the reason why he was breathing. Why he would smile and enjoy his life because of her. She made it worthwhile.
He sat in the corner as he watched into space with his room all destroyed. He leaned his head back as he took off a small box from a hidden box that was underneath the floor tiles. He opened it to reveal a beautiful ring that was for her.
His wifey. His one and only.
"I will find you again, my wifey. Please wait for me." He whispered as he kissed the ring with a tear rolling down his face.
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After that night, [Y/N] had found a deserted area with a rough up building. She stared at it with wonder as she looked back at her family. Giving them a smile and telling them her plan which they agreed. So, they all started to build a safe haven for her and her sinners-family. She wouldn't lose anyone anymore. She made an oath that she will never let anyone die because of her.
She opened this café that was open for anyone. It was outside of the city, miles away from anyone. Only certain sinners knew about it. As long as they didn't cause any trouble, then it was fine with her.
She lived a quiet life yet she was still so broken from what happened. She made sure to never be found. Not from Sera, the new King and Queen of Hell, and him. Most definitely him.
She had heard of Lucifer and Lilith ruling Hell. They had even changed her home's name. She didn't care. She wasn't a ruler anymore. But this place will always be Wratifuca. No matter what, but she didn't mind Hell. It had a good ring to it.
She had several stories about Lucifer and how he was an angel but fell because he disagreed with Heaven so then he became a fallen angel. He arrived with Lilith and together they ruled Hell.
[Y/N] couldn't care less at how Hell had become. More sinners showed up and it got so chaotic. So much had changed but it wasn't her responsibility anymore. She now had a quiet life with her café and family.
One night, she had an unexpected visit.
Someone she never expected to find especially in hell.
It was her brother, Sas.
He was a three-tailed lion that was taller than her. She couldn't believe it was him. She gave him a big hug as he cried about how he had missed her so much. She agreed with him at how bad she had missed him as well.
Yet, she was confused as to why he got sent to Hell. From what she remembered, he was a good boy. Never did anything wrong unlike her. She was always the bad child in the family. She had done so many horrible things that some not even her brother knew. She intends to stay that way, but once Sas explained what had happened once she died. It made more sense why he was there with her.
She didn't care. She was happy that she had him now. He stayed with her for a while until he suddenly disappeared. She worried for him but knew that she couldn't hold him down. He will always be her little brother but he had his own life there in Hell. So she would wait for him there at her café.
But her quiet life would soon change.
With unexpected people and familiar faces...
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adissonswifey · 11 months
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Cover your cough.
Addison Montgomery x f!reader.
Being on Addison's Montgomery service is not an easy job. Especially when you have to look for her all over the hospital. Unfortunately Seattle Grace has a lot of good hiding spots.
"Hey, have you seen Dr. Montgomery?" You asked one of the nurses.
"No, sorry." She replied and rolled her eyes.
"Okay, thanks."
You like most of the nurses, they're really nice and very helpful but some of them are horrible. For example, this one, her name is Bria and she's a pain in the ass. Which makes you sad because you've always been really nice to her, unlike other residents.
You had been looking for her for an hour already, You really thought that Bailey wanting to get rid of you, did not mention that Addison had taken time off. Just when you were really about to give up you walked into one of the one-call rooms. You sat down on the bed that faced the couch and saw pink scrubs you've been looking for.
"There you are, I've been searching for you all day Dr. Montgomery," you mumbled. "Oh, are you okay?"
She didn't look like she was ok. She was sitting leaning on the couch and almost melting.
"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you, y/n," she replied.
You walked up to her and put your hand on her forehead. You had never seen an attending in such a state. Especially her. You've never seen her like that.
"Shit, you're burning up and I'm pretty sure that white paint has more color than your face. You're not okay, Addison. You're sick," you gasped. "Come on, I'll drive you home." You stuck out your hand.
"No, y/n. You have patients, you can't just leave. I'm gonna be fine." She protested trying to get up.
"No, come on. Lay on the bed or you can stay on the couch, whatever you feel comfortable with and I'll go to the chief and tell him that you're sick and that I'm the only one who's going to drive you home. You stay here."
As you said, so you did. You went to the chief and explained to him that you were currently on Addison's service and actually weren't busy at the time. At first he didn't like the idea, but when you started talking about how dangerous it was for her patients to stay, he quickly succumbed. Also, you bought water and a sandwich because she looked like she needed energy.
"Okay, I'm back. Do you want a sandwich? Water?" She nodded her head no. "Addison, drink this at least and don't argue with me." She finally gave in. "Are you in any pain? Anything I could look into?"
"My stomach hurts a little bit," she muttered.
"Lift your shirt up."
"No, y/n. That's fine, I'm fine."
"Stop being so stubborn, please let me help you. You finally have a chance to see how good I am." She smirked. "Now come on, lift your shirt a little bit."
You examined her abdomen and also did an ultrasound to be safe. Everything looked fine. But you could tell she was in pain, and you don't quite know why, but you felt a strange feeling in your chest. When you finally made it to your car you breathed a sigh of relief. You knew that at this point her only option was to go with you. I mean, after all, she was already in the car anyway.
It was the first time you were in the apartment of any attending, well, maybe not counting the fact that Derek practically lived in the house you lived. You climbed the stairs and soon found yourselves in a cozy apartment. You told Addison to sit on the couch and covered her with a blanket right off the bat. She looked innocent, almost like a baby.
"Why are you doing this?" You heard her raspy voice behind you.
"Huh?"
"You're nice to me and you've always been, even when you found out about me and Mark. Even when I was hard on you. I mean, I get that you're a doctor too so you help people, but just... why are you helping me?"
You couldn't hide the fact that you just cared. Fact, Addison did stupid things in life, as we all do, but that didn't make her a bad person. Besides, you started to have a little crush on her from the first time you saw her, and on top of that you became something like friends and she was really close to you. You understood each other.
"I just care about you," you responded and turned around to look at her. "Okay look, this is probably not a very good time to tell you this but... I kinda have a crush on you?" You made a weird face. "I didn't tell you anything because this whole thing with Derek and then Mark was hard on you, but yeah I have a crush on you, maybe something even more than a crush. Also we're friends, really good friends so stop asking me these ridiculous questions," you explained.
"You have a crush on me?" Her eyes widened.
"God, sorry I didn't mean to make you... Look, we don't have to do anything about it. I'll be fine. Just forget it." You smiled awkwardly.
Couple days later...
"You finally told her?" Mer asked and took a bite of her fries, you covered your face with your hands.
"That wasn't the plan but yeah I did. God, I'm so embarrassed." You laughed.
"Was she shocked?" Alex asked.
"Pretty much, yeah."
"You're right, this is dumb. She's practically you're boss." Cristina shrugged her shoulders.
"You're acting like you didn't screwd an attending yourself." You rolled your eyes and she just raised her hands in defense.
You're pager went off. You looked at it. It said 211 which meant that Addison paged you. You looked up at everyone's faces, most of them smirked.
"Is that your lover?" Izzie teased you.
"I hate you all, I have to go." You got up from the table and headed toward Addison's office.
You felt like you was going to throw up. You haven't seen her for a few days, after you left her apartment that day you couldn't go back. You felt stupid. You told her, you told her you felt something and she just sat there looking at you so you left as soon as you could. You didn't want to make things awkward between you, you had already passed that stage when Addison found out that your friend was Meredith.
You stood in front of the door urging yourself to knock, and when you finally worked up the courage you almost ran out of there.
"Hey, you paged me," you said looking into the office.
She was sitting at her desk, looking much better than a few days earlier. Although overall she always looked good which was unfair.
"Can we, ummm... talk about what happened?" She asked looking at you with a slight site of embarrassment in her eyes.
"Oh, sure. Why not?" you said ironically. "So I told you I have a crush and you looked at me like I was crazy, then I felt like I actually was, so I left and been avoiding you since then."
She stood up from the desk and faced you. You both breathed loudly.
"I didn't look at you like you were crazy!"
"You know when was the last time I said I liked someone!?" Now you both raised your voices. "What are you doing?" you asked confused when she came so close that you could feel her breath on your face.
"Would you just stand still?" She asked and came close enough that your lips touched in a kiss.
At that moment you thought you could fly. Your knees bent under you as soon as her hands reached your hair. God she kissed so well. Her lips were softer than anything you've ever known. It was sweet, effortlessly sweet. You wrapped your arms around her waist, her hands were in your hair. You lost yourself in her.
You break the kiss. You felt dizzy. You swear you could still feel her lips on yours. You were breathless for a moment, the silence was now filled only by your breathing.
"You..." you whispered.
"I didn't know what to say, y/n. I've never been with a woman... It's just so confusing because, I would know what I should've done that day, if you were a man but you're not and... I like you, I never even thought about falling in love with a woman. It's just... You're so caring, beautiful, smart... I..." Her eyes were running all over the room.
"Look at me," you breathed. Her blue eyes finally looked straight into yours. "God your eyes are so beautiful." You ran your thumb over her cheek. "We don't have to rush anything. Baby steps, okay?" you asked her and she nodded.
"Baby steps." She bit her lip. "Now, please kiss me." You smirked and pulled her closer to finally put your lips in a long kiss.
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lilacxoz · 1 year
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More Intimate~ Alhaitham
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No implied gender, female genitalia
Boyfriend!alhaitham, bit of degradation, creampie, Alhaitham is a sex god.
You stare off into the widespread ocean, a gentle breeze picking up and blowing through your white maxi floral printed dress; the sun making the blue flowers sparkle.
You had to arrive back home in Mondstat in two days since vacation for the scholars was in full swing. The only thing you'd miss was your beloved boyfriend, a man who was very hard to peruse. You remember the first time you confessed to him; he had told you how relationships weren't his thing and he'd rather keep to himself. But after that confession, you seemed to have piqued his interest. After a few months after that confession, he seemed to be more comfortable around you. And since then, he has now been an amazing boyfriend.
You took in a fresh breath of air, the hot sun beaming down on you in a blissful way. "You look something out of a romance novel," you hear a familiar voice say from behind you. You turn around to be met with those beautiful aquatic eyes that never failed to make you swoon. He stood before you, his arms crossed over his chest as the most subtle smile curves his lips up.
"I didn't know you were such a complimenter," you tease, taking notice of the book in his hand. You point to it, a raised eyebrow crossing you face, "The Hidden Secrets of Intimacy?"
You watch as his cheeks grow pink as he hastily slips the book in his personal belongings, uttering a few incoherent words to himself. "It's nothing, just something I picked up at the library." You let a small giggle escape, it was no surprise that your beloved Alhaitham was new to love and all the different forms of it.
"So you were learning about intimacy?" You ask with a small smirk, crossing your own petite arms over your chest. Alhaitham was a good six foot tall, easily towering over your frame. At first, you found this intimidating, but now you find it endearing.
"No I was learning about the prophecy of a persons devotion and benevolence," he says in a monotone voice, giving you a straight face. You roll your eyes, flicking his forehead in result to your annoyance.
"You don't have to get so grammatical on me, just admit you were learning about sex," you say, taking his hand in yours as you lead him further down the port and towards the docks. "I don't know why you can't just be honest with me when you're embarrassed. Like that one time, instead of admitting you were wrong you insisted to buy me a lot of expensive things," you pointed out, making the ash haired scribe roll his eyes.
"Like you can talk," he scoffs, cupping your cheek with his hand as he leans down just a bit, "you always run away when you get embarrassed."
You let out a scoff of your own at his correct yet bold statement. He watches as your face turns a crimson red, a look of triumph glossing over his features. He decides to have more fun teasing you; pulling you close to him by the hips as he turns you so he's hugging you from behind. He knows how you feel about public affection and how embarrassed it makes you. You'd always ask him how he could be so publicly affectionate when he was, to which he'd always respond with "because I do what I want, I'm not gonna let a few stares change that."
"'Haitham!" You whine, trying to squirm from his grasps but it was a failed attempt. He places kisses in the crevices of your neck, his arms snug around the indent in your waist.
"Shhh, causing a ruckus will only make more people stare," he whispers. You let yourself relax, he wasn't going to let up soon so you'd just have to bare the embarrassment. He takes a hand and sweeps your hair to one side of your head so he can get a better view of your neck. "Why does publicity like this always make you embarrassed?" He whispers, placing a gentle kiss to your neck.
"I don't know, just the thought of so many eyes on us; I don't know how it doesn't make you feel a little anxious," you admit, placing a hand over the arms he has wrapped around you.
"Does it make you uncomfortable? Because I could stop, I don't want to, but I will." He leans over you a bit to see your face, to which you just shook your head in response.
"It's fine, just something I really need to get used to," you say as you turn around in his arms, planting a gentle kiss to his cheek. "Hey, Kaveh is supposed to be gone today right?" You ask as you run your fingers through the hairs on the back of his neck. He gives you a perplexed expression before a small smirk forms on his face.
"How bold of you, why don't we eat all of his pizza as well," he suggests to which you nod. You found that one of Alhaitham's favorite pass times is making his roommates life inconvenient.
And so the two of you set off to Alhaitham's shared town home, watching him fumble with his keys a bit before finally unlocking the door. You had been in their home several times, but never alone with your boyfriend like this in the home. Despite the relationship between you two standing for four months already; you both have only had sex twice, each time being in your small apartment because Kaveh was at their home with a girl of his own.
"You want any juice or water? We could indulge in his apple juice?" You shake your head with a giggle, as much as you loved tormenting Kaveh and Alhaithem by helping them with their pranks, you didn't want to eat all of his food.
You sat on the countertop next to the fridge while you watched your boyfriend open the pizza box on the kitchen island in front of you. He hands you a slice before setting his hands on your thighs, accepting the first bite in the pizza that you offer being taking the second.
"So, you have your bags packed yet for your trip? it's a really long trip, you sure you want to make it?" You smile at his expression, he was always so caring of you and you loved that. He'd tell you he cared so much because it would be inconvenient if something bad happened to you, but you knew better.
"I can make it, I haven't seen my mom or dad in a year, I think it's time I visit," you say, offering him another bite in the slice of pizza that he greatly accepts. "But the option for you to come is still on the table, I know you have work to do but can't you do work on the go or something? You know, like file paperwork or something like that?"
"I wish, but things have been a little hectic lately." You offer a small smile as you finish off the pizza, placing your hands over the ones he has on your thighs. "But look, you get the last days you have in Sumeru with me if you'll really miss me that much," he points out, rubbing a soft circle on your thigh with his thumb.
"I know, it's just-" you trail off, poking the inside of your cheek with your tongue as your eyes drift off. He could tell you wanted to say something but we're unsure of it, and he didn't know why that was. He thought the both of you were comfortable enough to say everything, but lately he's noticed how you trail off mid-sentences sometimes.
"Why do you do that?" The question catches you a bit off guard as you meet his greyish eyes. "You don't finish sentences sometimes, like you want to say something. Just say it, it's not like the words will hurt me or you." You gulp at his call out, a little taken aback at how heeding he was.
"Well-" you suck in a breath, a blush blooming on your face. "It's just, we don't really get that intimate and I just don't know how to bring that whole subject up without getting embarrassed. So I was hoping that if you went on the trip with me that the moment would arise." His face goes blank before a smirk forms on his face as he stands up straight, crossing his arms over his chest.
"You have been acting weird because you're horny?" He gives a chuckle making you look up at him with an angry expression, your face beat red. "Sweet, you can ask me anything there's nothing to be embarrassed about."
"Yeah but you always make me feel embarrassed with your reactions, you could be a little more sensitive," you say, jumping off the counter and moving to walk out of the kitchen. He stops you by wrapping his arms around your waist, planting a kiss to the back of your neck.
"You know, I've been pretty pent up too. But I'll admit something to you too; I don't know how to initiate the first move because I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Your heart stops a beat at his confession, turning around to face him and wrap your arms around his neck.
"But you don't need to worry about that, I tell you when I'm uncomfortable so why wouldn't I about that?" He shrugs, to which you kiss his cheek with a giggle. "I guess we've both been a little scared of the whole intimacy thing." You decide to take the first step, gently connecting your lips to his. This seems to open a door within Alhaitham, because he pulls you closer by the hips, pressing you up against the fridge in a haste. His lips make the next attack, laching onto your neck as he isn't shy about making his mark.
You let out a soft whisper of his name, your hands scrunching up his skintight shirt as your body responds to his actions. His hands scrunch up your sundress to your hips, skillfully sliding his knee in between your legs to apply some friction to your aching need.
"W-We can't do this out here," you softly whisper, causing him to grunt in response. He detaches his lips from your neck, his eyes completely lusted over along with the pink dusting his cheeks. He drags you by your dress towards his room, pushing you up against his door once he gets it closed. He had a very spacious room, his own room having a sliding door that led to a tiny garden outside his bedroom. His bed was large and sat in the middle of the back wall, a dresser on the adjacent wall full of stacks of books as well as stacks scattered across the floor.
He began to undress you, slipping the straps off your body and letting your dress pool at your feet. His lips took the liberty off nibbling on your ear, his hands making quick work of your bra. Once he gets your bra unhooked he tosses it behind him, each hand cupping a mound. "Such a pretty girl," he whispers, lips moving back to your each most sensitive places on your neck and chest. You decide to take your turn on undressing, starting with his top, leaving only his skintight sleeveless turtleneck.
He began to assist you, taking off his sleeves before pulling you towards the bed. He sat down on the foot of the bed, pulling you onto him so you're straddling his thighs. "Tell me what you want," he asks, cupping your cheek with his hand. Moments like these-when he was in a good mood, he'd be so loving and affectionate with you; like his heart was made of sugar.
"I want you. I want you to fuck me, please." He smirks at that, tilting his head to the side.
"You'd like that huh?" You nod, planting a kiss to his cheek, and then neck, and then soon you both were desperately taking his top off. He flipped you around so you were laid on his bed, his head resting in the crevice of your neck while his hand slips it's way downwards. When you feel his finger gently slide along your slit, you let out a throaty gasp, body tending up from the suddenness.
"You don't want to have sensual, slow sex like all the other times we've done it?" You shake your head, you were gonna be gone for awhile and you wanted to remember the roughness and softness of him-wanted to be left knowing what happened instead of thinking about what happened.
"Good," he said as he thrusted two fingers inside your pussy, body tending up at first before relaxing against him. You let him take control of your body, the pleasure filling up your body like a flood. You let out a series of moans and whines, to which he drinks up each one with his lips attacking yours.
It didn't take long before your hands were coiling into his hair and your body arching against his, your sweet relief on the horizon. Alhaitham could tell you were close by the way your eyes screwed shut and your moans became raspy and whiny. He decided to have fun with you, pulling his fingers out and shoving them in your mouth. Your eyes widened in surprise and disappointment at the loss friction.
"What's the matter? Did you really think I'd let you cum so early? With out me?" He pulls his fingers out of your parted lips, moving his hand so it wraps around your neck, not blocking any airways. When you don't give a response he sublty tightens his grip on your neck, raising an eyebrow. "Use your words and respond."
"Yes, I hoped you would," you mumble, averting your eyes from his hard turquoise ones. He chuckles, releasing your neck and instead cupping your cheek.
"You hoped wrong sweetheart," he cooes, positioning himself as he uses his hands to free himself from his confinements. You stared at his beautiful pink tip, drinking in the sight of how it slightly curved up. You readied yourself once he aligned his tip to your entrance, your body impatiently waiting for him to bottom out.
He slipped his tip in before purposefully missing, earning a frustrated huff from you. He did the same over and over, coating his cock in your glistening wetness.
"'Haitham stop it," you whine, his face forming a shit-eating grin. He leans down towards your ear, purposefully missing again just to set you off a little more.
"Stop what?~" he cooes, leaning away to take in your irritated expression.
"Stop fucking around and fuck me like a man!" You finally yell, irritation burning your blood. Your words seem to shock him, his face contorting from shock to a bit of anger. You weren't ready for what happened next, his cock plunging deep inside so much further than you've ever felt.
"Fuck you like a man? If that's what you want than I want you to scream and whine like the pathetic slut you are," he whispers in your ear, your eyes rolling into the back of your head.
His hands grip your wrists, pinning them above your head. His hips snap against yours, over and over again like a broken record. Your mouth went agape, quiet moans and whimpers escaping, your voice completely gone from how deliciously good he felt.
One particular hard thrust erupted a scream-like moan, your body hitching against his. Your hands tried to grasp onto something but he tightened his grip, grunting with each thrust.
"Tell me how good it feel, tell me how good I make you feel," he groans, hitting deeper and deeper until your legs start to shake.
"Fuck! You make me feel so fucking good," you moan, the pressure quickly building up so badly it hurts. He smirks in response, letting go of your wrists and instead pushing your knees up to your chest. The position hits you even deeper, your mouth left open as you let the pleasure consume you.
It was like time stopped, felt like your orgasm lasted for so long. Your vision went black, body shaking uncontrollably. Once you finally calmed down, your vision came back to you and your body stopped shaking. You didn't get the time to catch your breath because Alhaitham was always flipping you onto your stomach.
You were left with your ass up in the air, head buried into the sheets. "Just like that, take me all the way," he grunts from behind you, pounding himself back into you. You let out a strangled moan, the overstimulating sending you into overdrive.
His hand came down to rub your clit, your voice uncontrolled and coming out all cracked and raspy. "'M gonna cum inside, you'd like that won't you?" You nodded, hips meeting with each of his thrusts. It wasn't long before the overstimulation became too much, such a powerful orgasm on the rise.
The feeling of him shooting his cum inside of you was enough to set you off, your body curving into the mattress below. The room was filled with heavy breaths and quiet curses.
It took a few minutes before you were flipped around and gently laid against his bare chest. Your bodies glistened with sweat, your inner thighs wet with arousal and his cum. The feeling of it slipping out was enough to make a catholic have a heart attack.
"I'm glad we're agreeing sex needs to be more often," Alhaitham whispered, his hand slipping in between your thighs, slipping his fingers inside of you.
"Yeah like twice or three times a week, not every hour," you say, easily picking out the look of lust in his eyes.
"Just one more round, until you feel full of my cum."
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vilebird · 1 month
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BOTH TOO MUCH AND NOT ENOUGH
1) "I have been found wanting, Natalie thought; I have made myself unacceptable and am not worthy." - hangsaman, by shirley jackson
2) text: "meat must be beaten brutal into tenderness, that any body softens with violence, she grinds salt into the carcass, like a wound, a memory". image: a carcass of beef, cleaned, with the ribs on prominent display, painted in oils and rendered in thick strokes of red, orange, tan and white, on a plain dark red background. the text is cutouts on top, dark red text on light tan. - Family Portrait as Unfinished Meal, by Torrin A. Greathouse and Le Bœuf by Chaim Soutine. collage put together by @invisiblemonstrosity
3) a pale hand crushing ripe red strawberries, green leaves still attached, on a plain white background. - apparently by ouiloved on flickr, but they seem to have deleted.
4) bust photo of a tan person with a spotlight on them outside in the dark, head turned down, shoulder length messy wet black hair obscuring their face. their hand is raised to their chest and they are wearing a white tank top. fake blood is splattered and wiped around their chest and mouth. - i can't actually find this one all my attempts lead back to unsourced tumblr posts if you know where its from. help me
5: "You have no one who has any sort of consideration for you. You have had patience and endurance, and what have they done for you? Half-killed you." - carlyle’s house and other sketches, by virginia woolf
6: "try your whole life to be righteous and be good, wind up on your own floor, choking on blood" - sept 15th 1983, by the mountain goats
7: "such a waste of a girl, such rumination. i am obsessive. i contain nothing but the replay. i am blood and blood and replay. i am please don't go." - i put the coffin out to sea, by lisa marie basile
8: an image of a partially bald baby bird begging for food, drawn in the desaturated greens and black of a trailcam, on top, the text reads "i am asking you for something i need", on bottom, the text reads "why is it so hard to give it to me?" - trailcam baby, by @quezify
9: "was i raised without love? / or was i born unloveable?" - @psychwarded
10: "I, in my corner, with my monstrous needs." - As Consciousness Is Harnessed to Flesh, susan sontag
11: "oh, i know that i'm not whole, and sometimes feel the flies swarming, like much of me is rotten." - roadkill ode, chad abushanab
12: a photo of a cut tree where much of the centre is rotted from fungus, accompanied by the text: "heart rot in pine. heart rot is the softening of a pine trees resinous heartwood, caused by an in-dwelling fungus. not all pines have it, but those that do make the excavation of a tree-hole next cavity easier for the red-cockaded woodpecker."
13: "rot made a home inside my body." - i know it's from "bloat" but cant find the authors name again. i think it starts with a c?
14: photo of an abandoned house in shades of brown and beige and orange, the walls are wet and scuffed and the drywall has been torn open in places, exposing the old lath. - abandoned, by @jaggedplains
15: photo of a mouldy strawberry, fading from bright red to grey-green fluff - Strawberry Gray Mold disease stock photo, by MediaProduction on gettyimages
16: "you ever feel like you were born with something rotten inside you and if people get close enough they're gonna find out" - tumblr post by @twoheadedfawnn
17: "we are meat, we are potential carcasses,' he once said. 'if i go into a butcher's shop i always think it is surprising that i wasn't there instead of the animal." - francis bacon
18: "you dangle on the leash of your own longing; your need grows teeth." - speeches for dr frankenstein, by margaret atwood
19: photo of a python hanging off a roof coiled around a black and white bird, poised to eat it - i heard some noise on the roof this morning, by candycane7 on reddit
20: "all that matters is that you want to hurt me. all that matters is that you want me." - when rome falls, by yves olade
21: "god told me i was forgiven and then he split me open" - god is made of hunger and i am made of dreams, by katie maria
22: "but this is not about love. once a pig is hung and cut straight, cut from rectum to neck, step inside her death like it is a room: that is how to touch her now. the lord said, you must not eat their meat or touch their carcasses. then came the end of the rib." - oh let's just be hogs, by gregory emilio
23: photo of a strawberry cut in half with its leaves attached. it is bright red, steel knife wet. the background is bright white and plain. - cut strawberry by liz west on flickr
24: photo of a handmade cloth sculpture of a dead autopsied pigeon, red zipper like an incision opening to its empty red interior, small cloth and thread organs arranged around it. - pandora: city pigeon, by jessica bartram
25: '"u need a therapist" actually i need to be euthanized' - tumblr post by deactivated user @122mg
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lemon-tea-leaves · 5 months
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If you're gonna go around talking about how invalid self-diagnosis is and how you should ALWAYS just go to a doctor because they're the experts, consider doing the following instead:
Reminding yourself that no doctor is infallible, and unfortunately there are shitty and VERY misinformed doctors out there
Advocate for the spreading of accurate information about the neurodivergence or illness or disorder or etc.
In that same vein, dispel myths and misconceptions about said Brain And Body Things™
Advocate for easier access to evaluation and diagnosis
Support people who have been medically gaslit in the past and just want to know what's going on with themselves
Support people who have had their life affected by their symptoms (despite not knowing what was causing them) and just want to know what's going on with themselves
Support people who just Feel something Wrong and just want to know what's going on with themselves
Just fucking support people and stop tearing others down because you're white knighting
There are people intentionally making a mockery of things like DID or being autistic, among other things. And there are people who mis-self-diagnose (usually due to research that isn't deep enough) and are fed misinformation which leads to them misrepresenting the disorder.
But there are also people who have the symptoms, looked into the symptoms, found something that matched the symptoms, and maybe FINALLY felt they had an answer when they couldn't find one because they didn't have the means or whatever the reason.
And you're telling them that they're making a mockery of a disorder because they wanted to find a reason. And it's because you associate them with the people on TikTok that you roll your eyes at. And it's fucking annoying.
TL;DR:
Maybe instead of being a dick about self-diagnosis, you could help set a path towards making it so people don't have to in the fucking first place.
(Also, as for my opinion on self-dx, self-dx with a good amount of research from verified accurate sources = A-OK. I'm saying this as a professionally diagnosed person who has had to self-dx in the past. I've been wrong about some things and right about others, and professionals have been right about some and wrong about others. But it helped to set me down the right path. I wouldn't be where I am if I hadn't.)
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