#with the idea of people having found/potentially finding my blog

[joyridingmp3]

did you change your name i couldve sworn it was reeya

yea i did!! but u can still call me that

#I've been trying to decide between frankie or roman for over a year now #anyway I considered leaving that other name in the bio too #but there's a Lot happening at my work in terms of being illegally surveilled #and maybe I'm being kinda paranoid but i just don't feel comfortable #with the idea of people having found/potentially finding my blog #but anyway #francis is my grandfathers name and he was a well travelled musician who played like 5 different instruments #and he had to flee to australia because he got arrested for killing a r*pist #and so naturally I respect him so much for that #he was a leo too #so i was like huh. frankie... ? #and then paying homage to mr iero who I have loved for over a decade doesn't hurt either #he was in a band called the continental travellers or something it's cute #little irish guy #ask #anon

[joels-shitty-puns]

The Key to Your Heart - Track 1

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably.

Word Count: 1.9K

Series List: Here!

Thank you for checking it out :) let me know what you think. I made this probably more wordy and personal than I should've... OOF.

The clock was nearing 4 AM when, with a sniffle, you closed the app you were on and clicked the power button on your phone. A single tear ran down your face as you rolled on your side and hoped that maybe in your dreams you could experience the love you craved so desperately. For the past few hours, and every night you didn't have work in the morning, or had free time before bed, you would read fanfiction. You knew people had a lot of poor opinions about fanfic, but the best thing about them is that unlike other stories, you were in these. You could imagine it was you in the story spending time with your favorite characters.

The worst part of fanfiction, however… is when you realize it isn't real and won't ever happen. Sure, you can imagine it, and you can feel the emotions and even give yourself pleasure at the thoughts, but when it wears off, you realize that it's just you. You're alone, and not your mind, nor your hands, can give you what you truly want. What you need.

You aren't so dumb or delusional as to think it's real, or to think you have a chance. If your own mind didn't tell you that enough, your family and friends would remind you plenty. At the mention of your crush, you'd get comments that had a playfulness, or childlike connotation at the idea of you crushing on someone famous. If not that, you'd get pity, or told you should put yourself out there and find someone you actually have a chance with… as if you chose to have these feelings. Why would you choose to fall in love with someone you have no chance with?

For a while, you could pretend it was just a crush and that you couldn't be in love with someone you've never met. But ultimately you accepted that it wasn't true. This isn't the first time, and you're sure it won't be the last. With the previous crush lasting several years, you knew you'd just have to wait it out. 

This time around, the crush was on Pedro Pascal. Current heartthrob of the world, starring in some of the most popular franchises of the time. If people didn't know his name, they certainly knew a character of his; unless they lived under a rock. 

With this information in the back of your mind, the fact that everyone knew him and everyone loved him and he could have anyone he wanted, you sighed, hoping it would finally get through your head, and rolled over to your other side. Unable to sleep, you pulled out your journal to write down your feelings before eventually drifting off, pen in hand.

Letting out a groan, you awoke too few hours later to your dog Skipper crying in your face. "Gotta pee, buddy? Alright.." You climbed out of bed and he spun in a circle before galloping through the house towards the patio door. Humming a song you don't yet know, you sit by the door and think about what you wrote the night before. It wasn't uncommon for you to write songs, and you found it comforting to play instruments and sing your feelings out into the lyrics. Although you often recorded and purchased the copyrights to your music, you never posted it.  Maybe someday…you always told yourself, pondering with the idea of some extra money. 

After letting the dog in, you sat at the piano with last night's journal and wrote a song which spilled your feelings for Pedro. You recorded it and went about your day, but it kept nagging you. Finally, after another sleepless night, you posted it onto some music streaming websites. Using a stage name of just your first nickname, you added the song, which you titled "Imaginary Love." It never mentions Pedro by name, only talking of the strong feelings you have for someone famous that you'll never be with. 

Once that was out of the way, you didn't check your accounts for several days. Eventually, however, you began receiving emails. Radio stations wanted to play your song, record companies wanted to sign you, they wanted an album. Your head swirled, and you agreed to put out an album with other songs you've written, still maintaining your stage identity. I'll just be like Hannah Montana, you thought, with a laugh of disbelief. 

About a month later, you and your music were still a mystery to people. People loved your song. People related to it. But of course, there were critics. Negative impressions spurred about you being childish, immature, naive, and silly. Others just wanted to know the gossip. Who were you? Where did you come from? And WHO were you singing about?!

Trying to ignore the chatter, you noticed a new interview of Pedro being posted, as advertisement for his newest film. Finally something to look forward to and get your mind off of this! Flicking on your television, you broadcast the interview of Pedro from your cell phone. Your heart skipped as you looked at him, his messy brown curls falling near his ears that held his large black framed glasses. His brown eyes twinkled as the interviewer talked to him about his work.

Eventually they broke into more casual conversation, discussing current favorite movies, what he last saw in theaters, what he's binge-watching, last concert he saw, and finally… the current song he can't stop listening to. 

"Oh, man… I can't stop listening to "Imaginary Love," he answered without hesitation, hand on his heart.

Your stomach lurched. Your heart stopped. You forgot how to breathe. What. The. Fuck. Shit shit shit shit shit. This can't. Be real. You rewound the video. This HAS to be a dream. But it wasn't. "Imaginary Love," he said. Oh. Crap. You replayed it several more times, but it didn't make it more real. The interviewer replied "oh… here we go. The song everyone is talking about! I am curious though, what are your thoughts on it? Who do you think it's about?" Pedro's smile faltered a bit at the man's tone, but he remained his usual genuine, sincere self when he answered. "I… I'm also curious about who she is and who the song is about, but I think that ultimately it's up to her whether she decides to reveal that. I think we can all relate to the pain of love, especially unrequited, and I think it's brave of her to share that level of open vulnerability with the world. I can't expect her to share more than what she already has."

Your heart fluttered.

Yet the interviewer continued. "Don't you think it's a little… I dunno… naive? I mean, you get it, you're in show business. The average kid really doesn't have a chance, and even more so, isn't it a little… creepy? The way she's put this guy on a pedestal? Claims she's in love with a man she doesn't even know?"

Pedro's fingers twitched around the base of the microphone, his eyebrows furrowed, and he slowly nodded while pondering his response. I can't watch this anymore.. His pause felt like a lifetime, and you couldn't handle the tension. The interviewer was an ass, but his words were nothing new. He was probably right... You are creepy and naive. You reached for the remote to turn off the television. It had only been a few seconds, but you couldn't bear the potential heartbreak that you knew would come. This is exactly why you haven't revealed yourself or the subject of your lyrics.

Pedro cleared his throat before speaking. "You're right… I am in show business and I get it. I get that in order to get what you truly want in life, we all seem a bit naive. I've spent my life trying to make it as an actor, sometimes struggling if it hadn't been for the help of my friends. I was naive, and I suppose a bit delusional. Obviously this is a bit different though. Unlike jobs, we can't choose who we love. I think we've all had celebrity crushes at some point in our lives."

Your breath was caught in your throat and you could feel tears welling up in your eyes. He doesn't even know you, and he's somehow able to reach into your lyrics to understand exactly how you feel without the judgment or pity you often feel from those who know you personally. And yet… the asshole interviewer kept on. Seriously dude… how long are you going to drag this on? Talk to Pedro about his achievements. Quit ranting. The interview has completely gone off the rails. "Okay.. I gotta ask though.." Ugh what now??! He continued, "this girl is a fan. The only thing she knows is what's made public. She's keeping her identity hidden but doesn’t seem to wonder what her so-called “love” is hiding from the world. Would you, as a celebrity, genuinely consider someone like her, a fan, if she came out and said the song was about you? I mean, would any of you out there? We're not just talking about a normal person, or even a slight fan. We're talking write-a-song-about-him level obsessed."

Pedro answered without hesitation. "Sure I would consider it. You can already feel her emotional vulnerability and passion. I think she's deserving of happiness just like anyone." If only you knew.. It is you, Pedro.. But your negative thoughts filled your consciousness. Like he'd want you.. he's almost twice your age.. look at yourself. He can have anyone he wants. He'd never actually choose you. Look at your blemishes. Your big stomach, flab, and stretch marks. Nobody has ever wanted you. You've never even been kissed, you fool. A grown adult.

You frowned and finished watching the interview, swept away in your self-hatred. You slunk onto the floor, cuddling your dog, seeking the only comfort you're able to receive. This is why I prefer animals, you think. They love you no matter what you look like or who you are.

A few days later, the events of Pedro's interview went viral, spurring both negative and positive responses.

"Pedro Pascal Defends Unknown Artist"

"Mandalorian Actor Slams Interviewer"

"Watch: Pedro Pascal Interview Gets Heated"

The headlines get more and more dramatic, acting as if fist fights broke out or a gun battle ensued. It was all pretty tame. A simple conversation of differing opinions. However… you still couldn't help but feel guilty that he put his own reputation on the line for you in a way. He doesn't even know you. What was in this for him, that he felt the need to defend you?

It was at this moment that you decided to log into Instagram from your stage artist profile. Hopping into the message section, you typed out Pedro Pascal and clicked his profile, writing out a message. "Hi Mr. Pascal! I recently watched your interview and I can't begin to express my gratitude towards you. I feel terribly guilty that this is beginning to weigh on your own image, but I would like to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for your defense, thank you for your support of my music, but most importantly, thank you for seeing my lyrics as they were meant to be… from my heart. Thank you for your kindness."

You tapped send and waited with bated breath. After ten minutes of staring at the screen, you decided you needed a break from the internet, dropped your phone, and went for a walk with Skipper.

Meanwhile, from the couch at home, your phone lit up with a notification.

Instagram

Pedro Pascal (pascalispunk): replied to your message

Thanks for reading!! Interested in track 2? Read it here!

#pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fanfiction #rpf #pedro pascal rpf #pedro pascal x AFAB!reader #Pedro pascal x musician!reader #pedro pascal x plus-sized! reader #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal fic #A! wrote a fic #key to your heart

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Everything advertised on social media is overpriced junk

In “Behavioral Advertising and Consumer Welfare: An Empirical Investigation,” a trio of business researchers from Carnegie Mellon and Pamplin College investigate the difference between the goods purchased through highly targeted online ads and just plain web-searches, and conclude social media ads push overpriced junk:

https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=4398428

If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this thread to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/08/late-stage-sea-monkeys/#jeremys-razors

Specifically, stuff that’s pushed to you via targeted ads costs an average of 10 percent more, and it significantly more likely to come from a vendor with a poor rating from the Better Business Bureau. This may seem trivial and obvious, but it’s got profound implications for media, commercial surveillance, and the future of the internet.

Writing in the New York Times, Julia Angwin — a legendary, muckraking data journalist — breaks down those implications. Angwin builds a case study around Jeremy’s Razors, a business that advertises itself as a “woke-free” shaving solution for manly men:

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/06/opinion/online-advertising-privacy-data-surveillance-consumer-quality.html

Jeremy’s Razors spends a fucking fortune on ads. According to Facebook’s Ad Library, the company spent $800,000 on FB ads in March, targeting fathers of school-age kids who like Hershey’s, ultimate fighting, hunting or Johnny Cash:

https://pluralistic.net/jeremys-targeting

Anti-woke razors are an objectively, hilariously stupid idea, but that’s not the point here. The point is that Jeremy’s has to spend $800K/month to reach its customers, which means that it either has to accept $800K less in profits, or make it up by charging more and/or skimping on quality.

Targeted advertising is incredibly expensive, and incredibly lucrative — for the ad-tech platforms that sit between creative workers and media companies on one side, and audiences on the other. In order to target ads, ad-tech companies have to collect deep, nonconsensual dossiers on every internet user, full of personal, sensitive and potentially compromising information.

The switch to targeted ads was part of the enshittification cycle, whereby companies like Facebook and Google lured in end-users by offering high-quality services — Facebook showed you the things the people you asked to hear from posted, and Google returned the best search results it could find.

Eventually, those users became locked in. Once all our friends were on Facebook, we held each other hostage, each unable to leave because the others were there. Google used its access to the capital markets to snuff out any rival search companies, spending tens of billions every year to be the default on Apple devices, for example.

Once we were locked in, the tech giants made life worse for us in order to make life better for media companies and advertisers. Facebook violated its promise to be the privacy-centric alternative to Myspace, where our data would never be harvested; it switched on mass surveillance and created cheap, accurate ad-targeting:

https://lawcat.berkeley.edu/record/1128876?ln=en

Google fulfilled the prophecy in its founding technical document, the Pagerank paper: “advertising funded search engines will be inherently biased towards the advertisers and away from the needs of the consumers.” They, too, offered cheap, highly targeted ads:

http://infolab.stanford.edu/~backrub/google.html

Facebook and Google weren’t just kind to advertisers — they also gave media companies and creative workers a great deal, funneling vast quantities of traffic to both. Facebook did this by cramming media content into the feeds of people who hadn’t asked to see it, displacing the friends’ posts they had asked to see. Google did it by upranking media posts in search results.

Then we came to the final stage of the enshittification cycle: having hooked both end-users and business customers, Facebook and Google withdrew the surpluses from both groups and handed them to their own shareholders. Advertising costs went up. The share of ad income paid to media companies went down. Users got more ads in their feeds and search results.

Facebook and Google illegally colluded to rig the ad-market with a program called Jedi Blue that let the companies steal from both advertisers and media companies:

https://techcrunch.com/2022/03/11/google-meta-jedi-blue-eu-uk-antitrust-probes/

Apple blocked Facebook’s surveillance on its mobile devices, but increased its own surveillance of Iphone and Ipad users in order to target ads to them, even when those users explicitly opted out of spying:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

Today, we live in the enshittification end-times, red of tooth and claw, where media companies’ revenues are dwindling and advertisers’ costs are soaring, and the tech giants are raking in hundreds of billions, firing hundreds of thousands of workers, and pissing away tens of billions on stock buybacks:

https://doctorow.medium.com/mass-tech-worker-layoffs-and-the-soft-landing-1ddbb442e608

As Angwin points out, in the era before behavioral advertising, Jeremy’s might have bought an ad in Deer & Deer Hunting or another magazine that caters to he-man types who don’t want woke razors; the same is true for all products and publications. Before mass, non-consensual surveillance, ads were based on content and context, not on the reader’s prior behavior.

There’s no reason that ads today couldn’t return to that regime. Contextual ads operate without surveillance, using the same “real-time bidding” mechanism to place ads based on the content of the article and some basic parameters about the user (rough location based on IP address, time of day, device type):

https://pluralistic.net/2020/08/05/behavioral-v-contextual/#contextual-ads

Context ads perform about as well as behavioral ads — but they have a radically different power-structure. No media company will ever know as much about a given user as an ad-tech giant practicing dragnet surveillance and buying purchase, location and finance data from data-brokers. But no ad-tech giant knows as much about the context and content of an article as the media company that published it.

Context ads are, by definition, centered on the media company or creative worker whose work they appear alongside of. They are much harder for tech giants to enshittify, because enshittification requires lock-in and it’s hard to lock in a publication who knows better than anyone what they’re publishing and what it means.

We should ban surveillance advertising. Period. Companies should not be allowed to collect our data without our meaningful opt-in consent, and if that was the standard, there would be no data-collection:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/03/22/myob/#adtech-considered-harmful

Remember when Apple created an opt out button for tracking, more than 94 percent of users clicked it (the people who clicked “yes” to “can Facebook spy on you?” were either Facebook employees, or confused):

https://www.cnbc.com/2022/02/02/facebook-says-apple-ios-privacy-change-will-cost-10-billion-this-year.html

Ad-targeting enables a host of evils, like paid political disinformation. It also leads to more expensive, lower-quality goods. “A Raw Deal For Consumers,” Sumit Sharma’s new Consumer Reports paper, catalogs the many other costs imposed on Americans due to the lack of tech regulation:

https://advocacy.consumerreports.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/A-Raw-Deal-for-US-Consumers_March-2023.pdf

Sharma describes the benefits that Europeans will shortly enjoy thanks to the EU’s Digital Markets Act and Digital Services Act, from lower prices to more privacy to more choice, from cloud gaming on mobile devices to competing app stores.

However, both the EU and the US — as well as Canada and Australia — have focused their news industry legislating on misguided “link taxes,” where tech giants are required to pay license fees to link to and excerpt the news. This is an approach grounded in the mistaken idea that tech giants are stealing media companies’ content — when really, tech giants are stealing their money:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/04/18/news-isnt-secret/#bid-shading

Creating a new pseudocopyright to control who can discuss the news is a terrible idea, one that will make the media companies beholden to the tech giants at a time when we desperately need deep, critical reporting on the tech sector. In Canada, where Bill C-18 is the latest link tax proposal in the running to become law, we’re already seeing that conflict of interest come into play.

As Jesse Brown and Paula Simons — a veteran reporter turned senator — discuss on the latest Canadaland podcast, the Toronto Star’s sharp and well-reported critical series on the tech giants died a swift and unexplained death immediately after the Star began receiving license fees for tech users’ links and excerpts from its reporting:

https://www.canadaland.com/paula-simons-bill-c-18/

Meanwhile, in Australia, the proposed “news bargaining code” stampeded the tech giants into agreeing to enter into “voluntary” negotiations with the media companies, allowing Rupert Murdoch’s Newscorp to claim the lion’s share of the money, and then conduct layoffs across its newsrooms.

While in France, the link tax depends on publishers integrating with Google Showcase, a product that makes Google more money from news content and makes news publishers more dependent on Google:

https://www.politico.eu/article/french-competition-authority-greenlights-google-pledges-over-paying-news-publishers/

A link tax only pays for so long as the tech giants remain dominant and continue to extract the massive profits that make them capable of paying the tax. But legislative action to fix the ad-tech markets, like Senator Mike Lee’s ad-tech breakup bill (cosponsored by both Ted Cruz and Elizabeth Warren!) would shift power to publishers, and with it, money:

https://www.lee.senate.gov/2023/3/the-america-act

With ad-tech intermediaries scooping up 50% or more of every advertising dollar, there is plenty of potential to save news without the need for a link tax. If unrigging the ad-tech market drops the platforms’ share of advertising dollars to a more reasonable 10%, then the advertisers and publishers could split the remainder, with advertisers spending 20% less and publishers netting 20% more.

Passing a federal privacy law would end surveillance advertising at the stroke of a pen, shifting the market to context ads that let publishers, not platforms, call the shots. As an added bonus, the law would stop Tiktok from spying on Americans, and also end Google, Facebook, Apple and Microsoft’s spying to boot:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/30/tik-tok-tow/#good-politics-for-electoral-victories

Mandating competition in app stores — as the Europeans are poised to do — would kill Google and Apple’s 30% “app store tax” — the percentage they rake off of every transaction from every app on Android and Ios. Drop that down to the 2–5% that the credit cards charge, and every media outlet’s revenue-per-subscriber would jump by 25%.

Add to that an end-to-end rule for tech giants requiring them to deliver updates from willing receivers to willing senders, so every newsletter you subscribed to would stay out of your spam folder and every post by every media company or creator you followed would show up in your feed:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/10/e2e/#the-censors-pen

That would make it impossible for tech giants to use the sleazy enshittification gambit of forcing creative workers and media companies to pay to “boost” their content (or pay $8/month for a blue tick) just to get it in front of the people who asked to see it:

https://doctorow.medium.com/twiddler-1b5c9690cce6

The point of enshittification is that it’s bad for everyone except the shareholders of tech monopolists. Jeremy’s Razors are bad, winning a 2.7 star rating out of five:

https://www.facebook.com/JeremysRazors/reviews

The company charges more for these substandard razors, and you are more likely to find out about them, because of targeted, behavioral ads. These ads starve media companies and creative workers and make social media and search results terrible.

A link tax is predicated on the idea that we need Big Tech to stay big, and to dribble a few crumbs for media companies, compromising their ability to report on their deep-pocketed beneficiaries, in a way that advantages the biggest media companies and leaves small, local and independent press in the cold.

By contrast, a privacy law, ad-tech breakups, app-store competition and end-to-end delivery would shatter the power of Big Tech and shift power to users, creative workers and media companies. These are solutions that don’t just keep working if Big Tech goes away — they actually hasten that demise! What’s more, they work just as well for big companies as they do for independents.

Whether you’re the New York Times or you’re an ex-Times reporter who’s quit your job and now crowdfunds to cover your local school board and town council meetings, shifting control and the share of income is will benefit you, whether or not Big Tech is still in the picture.

Have you ever wanted to say thank you for these posts? Here’s how you can: I’m kickstarting the audiobook for my next novel, a post-cyberpunk anti-finance finance thriller about Silicon Valley scams called Red Team Blues. Amazon’s Audible refuses to carry my audiobooks because they’re DRM free, but crowdfunding makes them possible.

Image: freeimageslive.co.uk (modified) http://www.freeimageslive.co.uk/free_stock_image/using-mobile-phone-jpg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

[Image ID: A man's hand holds a mobile phone. Its screen displays an Instagram ad. The ad has been replaced with a slice of a vintage comic book 'small ads' page.]

#pluralistic #ad-tech #ads #surveillance ads #commercial surveillance #behavioral ads #contextual ads #link taxes #platform economics #enshittification #instagram #julia angwin #end to end

[earthnashes]

hey, sorry, but i was wondering how you started on your fitness journey? i'm in a similar spot that you were two years ago and i want so badly to make the progress you have. i keep trying to begin but stopping because i get too scared or nervous, it's so daunting. do you have any good resources like websites/videos/youtube channels/blogs/etc.? i would really appreciate it. you look awesome and your post was super inspiring.

No apologies needed! It is pretty daunting man because it's getting into it for the long run.

Before I finally stuck with it I started and stopped several times in the past as well. If I were to give short tips personally on how to get started based on how I did:

-Start with the most simple thing for you and focus on building a habit out of it. Whatever that is, do it even if you don't want to. For me, I started with a scheduled walk around a trackfield (one full loop around the track) twice a week.

-Take the time to really outline your goals. Make sure to include short term goals and not only long term ones! It helps to say "I'm gonna walk for 5 minutes" and building up to the goal of "I'm gonna walk for 60 minutes", for example. Additional: having something visual can help with tracking it.

-Take it slow, and keep it simple. You're in this for the longhaul. And it will be very slow, but trust the progress and focus on the present

------------------------

As for resources, these are what I used (with some notes if it helps!)

Jeremy Either's Youtube Channel

Great source of information in regards to many things, particularly muscle building. I already had a base understanding of working out due to my sports background, but he's great for complete newbies and for anyone who needs a refresher. I still watch his stuff today but I don't rely on it nearly as much now that I have a better idea of what I'm doing.

Hybrid Calisthenics Youtube Channel

Fantastic channel for complete beginners and for people looking to get into the swing of things again, but at a slower rate. He focuses on being genuinely positive and encouraging finding ways that'll work specifically for you. That includes doing variations of exercises that may be too hard at first, like variations of the pushup, or pullup. Simple routines to get you started without destroying yourself. Very good channel, honestly.

Sean Nalewanyj Youtube Channel

He was the first fella I followed before I found Jeremy. His content is short, punctual, and easy to understand, so if you're looking for much quicker advice without the super detailed explanations his YT Shorts would be recommended. You'll likely have to do a little more research on your own to supplement the knowledge though. Like Jeremy I still watch his content.

Jeff Nippard Youtube Channel

His content is chocked full of research based shit and sometimes can be a tiiiiny bit much to follow, so not really something I'd recommend for beginning lifters. That said, his content in general is downright fascinating and if you're looking for in-depth analysis on the world of bodybuilding, powerlifting, and so on, he's my go-to.

Leanbeefpatty Youtube Channel

Her content is far more vlog-ish, but she gives solid advice while simultaneously just being fun to watch. I like how much more relaxed her stuff is as well, so if you're looking for something that isn't as potentially stressful I'd recommend her over anyone else listed.

Eugene Teo Youtube Channel

I've only just started watching him a couple of months ago but he's been a joy to listen to. His content is relatively chill but he gives indepth explanations without getting too science-y with them. He also promotes things other than fitness that'll help with your goals; stuff like mindful hobbies, healthy food-relation habits (for example: there's no such thing as a good or bad food), so on.

----------------

Other sources I've used to help educate myself the more I got into it include MyFitnessPal (I use it to count my calories and macros), Healthline, countless other youtubes I won't list just so I don't talk your ears off, and asking for tips from fellow gym goers who attend the same gym I do.

I hope these are of some help to you! And keep up the grind; take it one step at a time, and if you need any more advice you think I can help with I'm all ears. I'm rootin' for ya! :)

#weightlifting #powerlifting #ash talks #earthsong talks #training tips #workout tips

[high-dragon-bait]

Okay I’m just going to say it: I always found the take that “Fenris and Anders’ relationship is wasted potential” kind of irritating. At least in the way most people mean when they say it: Anders and Fenris never found common ground, and that is a waste of potential

I do agree that there are some writing let-downs in their relationship, I just don't agree that the fact that they never reach a common ground is part of it.

It is true that Fenris and Anders have more in common than differences, their trauma is ultimately based in the same thing: being held and tormented against their will by an oppressive system. If you pay attention, the narrative, the characters, and Fenris and Anders themselves are aware of this. Here's a little snippet of it shown in this Legacy dialogue

The game knows they're alike. It's not that they can't see there's common ground between them. They can. The problem is: Fenris is healing, and Anders is not

I'm going to show you more banter screenshots now

Specifically of Fenris and Anders' banter with Varric, in acts 2 and 3

Just bear with me, we'll start with Fenris

Fenris and Varric in act 2

Fenris and Varric in act 3

Now Anders

Anders and Varric in act 2

Anders and Varric in act 3

There are more banters that illustrate this point but I think these four are the strongest and also I would like to go to sleep at some point tonight.

Fenris is healing from his past, if you look at his banters as a whole, you can see across all characters he gets more open, humorous, and talkative throughout all acts. Anders does the exact opposite. Anders gets more closed off, cold, and in act 3 you'll notice he rarely speaks before being spoken to unless he's following up on a previous conversation.

It makes sense, to me at least, why they never become friends. It isn't because Anders is a mage, Bethany is a mage, anti-circle, and Fenris loves her. Don't believe me? Look on the wiki or search "Bethany" on my blog and you'll find some of their interactions. They're adorable.

It's because Anders is getting worse and Fenris is getting better. That's why all their conversations are just an exhausting loop and why they never seem to connect. To me, that is the story being told here. It was never about them finding a common ground, it was about paralleling two people and one who heals from their past, and one who does not. Making them on opposite sides of the mage/templar debate is meant to emphasize this.

I do want to state that I have mixed feelings about this. While I think it's a neat idea, it does also feed the "You were hurt by a system but now your hate for it consumes you" trope which I am. Not a fan of. You can also talk about how the world itself plays into this in that Fenris can escape from Tevinter but Anders can't escape from being a mage. That's all a retrospective for another day, I'm just talking about the intent behind the relationship here.

Basically what I’m trying to say is: A story may not go in the direction you want it to but that does not make the story bad, it just makes it the story you didn’t want. That is fine, but I take some issue when people treat it as an actual fault of the story rather than a matter of taste.

Like I said, there are plenty of actual writing issues in Dragon Age 2, and I do think that there are some wasted opportunities in Fenris and Anders' relationship. My biggest problem is that it doesn't go far enough. We see Anders spiral until he hits full rock bottom and destroys the Chantry. We see Fenris... go play some cards with his buddies. I think it would've been more effective if Fenris got a little farther in his healing, namely his relationship with magic. I've said that I don't think Fenris would ever fully trust magic and I don't, but it would've been neat to at least see more progress made than is actually made in the game. This I think is the consequence of Dragon Age 2 being a first draft like David Gaider said, I think if they had more time, they could've pushed this further and made it more interesting, but I do genuinely like what's there like I genuinely like the entirity of Dragon Age 2.

Anyway, that's why in my opinion, Anders and Fenris never finding a common ground isn't a problem from a narrative perspective.

#Dragon Age #da2 #Anders #Fenris #long post

[springbloggy]

A lot of people ask why there isn't anyone installing tumblr themes anymore, besides mobile users here's my hurdles on trying to find tumblr themes that should shed light to hopefully inspire theme creators and those who want themes back. I don't mean this post to be discouraging...just something I found.

Most theme hunting blogs (such as theme hunters,code-hunters,etc.) have slow uploads or are dead outright. When I was theming way back when, these blogs had more active uploads, but now theyre kinda slow. You could count this with there not being many themes in general anymore, however I scroll through the tumblr theme tags and there's still a lot of themes that simply haven't been reblogged by these blogs. They stick in the tags where it may be harder for some to find them.

There's a lack of "cute" or "creative" themes. While there are some people that make really cool theme designs still, most themes tend to have the same minimalist layouts with similar looks. Long gone are the days where themes could look like this:

While I get the want to make things eligible or responsive, it's still possible to match cute looks with eligible and/or responsive designs.

3. Lack of customization options

One of my favorite theme creators from way back when was Tuktut, Tuktut's themes have fairly standard designs, but they have so many customization options that it didn't matter. For example the sunny theme where Tuktut showcases 11 different photos on how you can customize it, with the potential for much more. Most themes have one or two looks minimum and that's it these days. It's overall blander for customization, looks, and takes away the wants or needs of the blogs.

4. Many dead blogs

There's an uncertainty with tumblr themes because many blogs that did/do create themes tend to jump ship to other blogs or die completely. How would a user know long term that the theme they installed will work long term or get help when the need it when the blog that created the theme dies?

5. Most unique and creative themes are inspired by the looks of other UIs rather than their own creative thing

Most themes that are creative I come across are inspired by UIs (User Interfaces) of other things, such as Windows XP, Macs, Google chrome, etc. Rather than their own creative spin on these ideas or something more unique. While those designs are great, it lessens the creativity of the theme landscape when there's 5 different themes based on Windows 95 but zero based on something more unique like an imaginary OS, imaginary video game, fictional creatures, etc.

6. Strong lack of fandom themes

Back then, there was a lot of fandom themes tied to people's favorite tv series and games. Especially during the SuperWhoLock days. However, now there are no longer themes dedicated to people's favorite blorbo, their blorbo's favorite snack or inspired by fan art of their blorbo eating blorbo's favorite snack while the blorbo browses the internet. If you see a blorbo in a theme it is set dressing at best. It brings less of a personal feel to themes.

These are just my opinions, and these don't apply to every modern theme or creator, but I feel like themes were a lot more interesting back in 2015 then they are today. I hope that my 6 points can provide some inspiration to creators rather than discouragement. I want to see more themes, not less.

#tumblr #tumblr theme #tumblr themes #custom themes #custom theme #196 #196 campfire #springy thoughts

[depravitycentral]

General Yandere! Osamu Miya Profile

Yandere! Osamu Miya x fem! reader

Warnings: kidnapping, stalking, extreme possessiveness, unhealthy/toxic thoughts, mentions of dub-con, slight misogany/traditional gender roles, mentions of motherhood/forced motherhood, mentions of harassment, basically Osamu is obsessed with you congrats love </3, fem reader, MDNI

I do not condone any of the actions described in this post - this is fiction and should be treated as such. If you or a loved one is in a similar situation to anything contained in this post or my blog in general, please seek help. You're in charge of your internet consumption; please make responsible choices. With that, enjoy!

DARLING PROFILE

Introverted

It’s not that Osamu isn’t capable of being attracted towards a more social darling, but rather that there’s something very endearing and appealing about a darling that isn’t out with friends 24/7.

He doesn’t like the idea of other people monopolizing their time, and consequently it would make him much happier (and quell his protective tendencies) to have a beloved that spends most of their time at home.

Even a homebody would be perfect for him – of course, he wants his darling to have hobbies and activities that take place beyond the four walls of their home that they enjoy, but he likes knowing that ninety percent of the time, they can be found in pristine shape inside their home.

It fuels his more domestic fantasies as well; he likes to imagine spending lazy Sundays with his darling, snuggled up on the couch while rain pours outside, watching Top Chef or other favorite movies and shows, popcorn and other snacks slipping past their lips as he criticizes the chef’s cooking alongside Gordon Ramsay.

He likes to imagine the way his darling would look so pretty wearing his clothing, the hickeys he’d decorated their neck and collarbone with in last night’s passionate throws of intimacy standing out like a beacon as they sleepily rub their eyes, yawning out that fucking adorable morning ‘Samu.

He just likes knowing that his darling is mostly content with staying home most of the time – he hates the idea of them being out with strangers, with people that could potential hurt them or have ill intentions, and in his mind this is a perfect win-win. He’s a homebody too, and this way he can spend all of his time with them, by his side, preferably cuddled into his chest or with his tongue down their throat.

He just loves the way his darling slowly sees him as the most important person in their life, because he’s the only person in their life – it’s a dream come true, and to see their face light up when he gets home from work not only gets his heart racing and his palms sweat, but his pants so fucking tight.

Artistic

Now, this particular trait isn’t a must-have for Osamu, but it’s definitely a factor in what attracts him to his darling.

He likes the idea of a beloved that has hobbies of their own – someone who finds passion in their lives, and devotes a substantial portion of their time to practicing and perfecting their chosen art form.

This could be quite literally anything – painting, playing an instrument, drawing, cooking (Osamu’s personal favorite, though he must be a better cook than you, no exceptions), writing, sewing, crocheting, anything that gets his darling’s creative juices flowing.

He loves to watch them practice; there’s something about the expression on their face as they concentrate that really gets him going. Maybe it’s the way their tongue sticks out just slightly as they put the final touches on the cupcake batter they’re mixing, the way their brows twist together as they brush the ink over the paper, how they tap their foot as they try to keep their rhythm while playing a difficult passage on their instrument.

He just loves the way they look so invested and passionate, and if Osamu is being honest, a lot of this fascination comes from his hopes that one day they’ll think of him with that degree of devotion.

He loves the idea of his darling paying him so much mind and attention that he becomes their hobby, that their artistic urges get focused onto him – maybe the little scarves and knickknacks his darling makes start being his size or having gray hair and gray eyes.

Maybe the poems they write start depicting a man of strong build, with callused fingers and a heart of gold.

Maybe the pottery they mold starts resembling two hearts beating together, symbolizing his and his darling’s everlasting love.

It’s sappy and he knows it, but there’s something about his darling being passionate that really speaks to him – maybe it’s because he sees himself reflected in them, but regardless it only fuels his obsessive tendencies, pushing him to learn as much as he can about the craft so he can impress you, just as he desperately wants to.

Smart

Again, this particular trait isn’t hard and fast for the chef, but it’s most definitely a plus in the stages of his infatuation forming. He’s always had a thing for smart, capable women; he likes the idea of a girl who isn’t afraid to be right, who doesn’t try to dumb themselves down for other people.

Of course, humility is important too (no one likes a braggard, do they?), but Osamu takes pride in the fact that his darling is so smart, that his darling is so talented. And this can take the shape of many different things – perhaps his darling is a gifted mathematician, able to solve equations with little trouble because they just get numbers.

(He likes to imagine the way their math skills might falter as he holds them over his knee, their pretty ass bare to him as he spanks them again and again, hearing them count aloud and grind their pussy against his knee in a way they think is oh-so-subtle.)

This could be his darling being strongly empathetic; able to understand the way others feel, putting them at ease and investing in making sure they’re okay while Osamu flounders to understand why they’re crying in the first place.

(He likes to think this is a sign that his darling would be a perfect mother, always able to calm down their children and make them giggle and smile, even while their knee is scraped up or their favorite toy is broken.)

It could be that his darling has knowledge of a very particular, niche topic; he could listen to them talk for hours upon hours, never losing interest as he nods along to their words, watching the way their lips move and form words, part of him forcing himself to listen while the other part wars to reach out and shut you up with his own mouth.

He just really likes the idea of a smart darling, one he can be proud to call his own, and if you were to tell him off with some logical, well grounded argument? Well, he’s still not letting you out of the basement, but fuck it all – one glance at his pants is enough to show you how your little speech has affected him, and he has no qualms showing you, either.

Optimistic

While Osamu isn’t necessarily a pessimist, he’s most definitely in the middle of the spectrum in terms of his outlook on life. He likes to consider himself a realist; he has no delusions about what life is (though, he most certainly does have delusions about what the two of you are), and he’s not embarrassed to say that more often than not, life has a way of choosing the non-ideal routes.

Of course, things could obviously be much worse (how can he say life is bad when it’s led to him meeting you, the single best thing that’s ever happened to him), but they could be better too. He’s neutral, really, which is why a darling that’s more optimistic would be a perfect fit for him.

Overwhelming negativity is exhausting, and if his darling only ever complains without anything positive to say, Osamu would quickly grow annoyed and tired of their presence, snapping at them to shut up, I can’t listen to you bitch anymore.

It’s not that his darling has to be always happy, always looking at the bright side (as this, too, can be equally as annoying as constant negativity), but he likes that his darling just naturally assumes the best in people.

Of course, it terrifies the protective part of him, the one that’s always paranoid about their safety and the intentions of others regarding them, but even for as much sleep as it causes him to lose at night, it’s just too damn cute. When they’re smiling at others and encouraging them through difficult times, Osamu can’t help but swoon; they’re just too adorable, too motherly, too fucking perfect.

He likes that they’re just genuinely a happy person – he’ll always lend an ear to them when they inevitably have a bad day or need to complain, but he’s quick to give them kisses all along their face and neck, whispering that they’re absolutely right babe, I hear ya.

He just likes how sweet it makes him, and only furthers his idea that they need protection – the world has a nasty way of dimming those that shine brightest, after all.

GENERAL YANDERE TRAITS

Controlling

While it isn’t necessarily purposeful, Osamu has a bit of a problem when it comes to being a prominent figure in your life.

He’s used to having to share everything, from the limelight to the occasional toothbrush, socks to volleyball shoes with his twin. He’s used to being known as ‘the other Miya’, as the chef with the famous athlete for a brother.

So to finally have you, something all completely his own, how can he be blamed for being a little more paranoid? Can he really be faulted when he’s just trying to make sure that you stay his and only his?

He’s not even really conscious of the way he slowly begins becoming an omnipresent part of your life, how those cold metallic eyes are always watching over your shoulder, staying fixed on your figure because every little thing you do is riveting to him, fascinating and something he needs to see, to make sure you’re doing as you should, that you’re staying safe and healthy and happy.

He doesn’t mean to come off as the controlling boyfriend (though, his tendencies of being more intrusive than he should be will start much earlier than the boyfriend stage – when you’re both still acquaintances, friends, when his obsession is still freshly new), but with the way he slowly begins demanding more and more from you, the message will be pretty clear.

You’ll likely write it off at first; his insistent questions of who are you going with when you tell him you’ll be out for the afternoon seeming oddly serious, but it’s ‘Samu, right? It’s Osamu Miya, a man you know isn’t as petty as being jealous over your time being spent with another, who isn’t bothered enough to be weird about it, right?

You’ll just laugh it off, though this has the opposite affect on the man in front of you – your laughter has him on edge, wondering if you’re lying to him, wondering if you’re going out to meet another man – what’s Atsumu up to tonight?

Suna?

Ginjima?

The paranoia eats away at him as he paces around, terrified that you might be flirting with another man, chatting and making eyes at some piece of shit, that he could be touching you and fucking you and making you scream out a name that isn’t Osamu fucking Miya – the paranoia is really rather extreme, the deeply rooted fear forcing him to get more serious much quicker than he’d expected.

Soon he’s not only asking who you’ll be with, but where you’re going, how long you’ll be out, what you’re expecting to do, when you think you’ll be home, where and when to be checking your phone for texts or calls from him.

You’ll think it’s strange, confusing why he’s being so weirdly protective over you (and being so damn insistent, as he’s literally grasping your hands in his and forcing you to repeat back a promise to check yer damn phone every five minutes, what if something happened? Ya understand, right? I have to be able to check in with ya when I need to.), but, just like before, you’ll just brush it off, nodding hesitantly and slipping out the door, unease crawling up your spine.

You’ll slowly come to feel as if Osamu is suffocating you, his presence overwhelming and always there, as if there’s no escape from his probing questions, his insistence on you always contacting him (though, the tracker he’s placed on your phone makes it so that his demands to update him on your location via text aren’t really necessary, but it makes him feel better).

And from there, things only get more extreme – he’s catching your wrist as you go to pluck a piece of fruit out of the pile, narrow gray eyes watching you as he tells you to choose something healthier, why don’t I just make ya somethin’ to eat?

He’s sighing and blocking the door when you leave the living area, telling you to sit down and drink the glass of water he’d given you before you go lay down in bed, before you use the restroom, before you shower or brush your teeth or yawn or speak.

He quickly becomes the sole dictator of your life, making you ask permission for every little thing, making you feel subservient and below him, making you feel as if you’re nothing without him, as if you can’t properly take care of yourself without his guidance, without him metaphorically (and literally) spoon feeding you.

And frankly, as irritating and terrifying as it is, it’s difficult to get mad at him – after all, Osamu doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. It’s not even about explicitly controlling you for him; it’s more about making sure you’re his and that no one else can get to you, to make sure that you aren’t being swept away or stolen by anyone else.

And of course, it’s to get you trusting him, relying on him, needing him, because isn’t that what relationships are about? Mutual love, dependence, desperation?

Protective

Going hand in hand with his paranoia and controlling tendencies, Osamu views you as someone who, despite your best efforts, isn’t really able to take care of yourself. He trusts you and loves you, at least as much as he can given his staggering devotion to you, and yet he doesn’t inherently trust you with you, with your health and safety and care.

No, that’s his job, him as the man and your caretaker and the only one who can actually take care of you, who can adhere to your every need, whether you’re aware of it or not.

He’s fairly domestic at heart, loving the softer moments, and you’ll notice this extremely early on with his obsession with you. He’s always trying to cook you things, and while it’s sweet, soon it’ll start getting a bit weird.

He’s got a full course meal for you every lunch, always your favorite foods cooked exactly how you like them despite never mentioning it to him in more than passing. He’s raising his chopsticks and telling you to say ahh, his voice soft and gooey, practically purring at you. He’s placing the sushi against your tongue and smiling boyishly at you, his cheeks dusted pink while pride swirls in his chest that you’re eating his food.

It’s sweet, at first, and damn can he cook, but once he starts showing up at your door with breakfast and dinner as well, inviting himself inside to eat with you and your family, chatting up your father and helping your mother cook, you’ll start growing uncomfortable, unsure of why he’s there.

You won’t know why he seems to care so much and why he’s subtly tapping your wrist under the dinner table, smiling softly and telling you to slow down a bit, you’ll choke if ya keep eatin’ like that.

It’s strange and it’ll feel beyond out of place, but Osamu is a charmer. He may not be as obvious or charismatic as his twin, but your parents will quickly be won over, everyone around you telling you how good of a person he is, how he’s such a catch, how he’s so sweet to you, won’t you just give him a chance?

He’s always pulling you closer to him, keeping you by his side so that you don’t stray too far, keeping a hand on your wrist or shoulder or waist or back, warm fingers pressing into your body as a discreet but strong reminder that he’s right there.

He’s grasping your hips as he maneuvers you to the side to avoid the crack in the sidewalk, sending you a strangely shy, boyish smile as his cheeks turn pink and he murmurs something about you being oblivious as hell, yer always getting’ hurt.

He’s quick to grab your wrist when you’re opening doors or grabbing something sharp or hot, sending you a small look as he does it for you, murmuring something under his breath about you being too delicate, can’t have ya doing something so dangerous.

He’s genuinely concerned about your health and safety, truly – he doesn’t mean to be overbearing. He’s not trying to be condescending by saying that you’re incapable of doing anything substantial on your own; of course not! He’s just concerned that you tend to be clumsier than he’d like, and what would happen if you tripped and skinned your knee, broke your arm, got a life threatening concussion that altered your life forever?

(Or, worse yet, made you forget about him?)

He’s just doing what he thinks of best, and the trouble with Osamu is that while he’s not particularly delusional, he’s also not particularly great at seeing the reality behind his actions. He knows he’s a bit more overboard on his protectiveness over you than he should be, but he’s able to honestly write it off as being chivalrous, as being a good, caring partner.

He thinks he’s being romantic and exactly what you want when he cuts the crusts of your sandwiches off for you (even if you didn’t ask).

He thinks he’s being attractive when he doesn’t let you package your own leftovers from the restaurants, claiming the food is ‘too hot’ even though it came out more than forty five minutes ago.

He’s just trying to help, and he’d never be able to forgive himself if you were hurt when he could’ve prevented it – after all, what does that say about his ability to take care of you? Does he even deserve to call himself yours if he can’t keep you from getting bruised or scraped?

Would you even want him if he can’t protect you like a man should?

Obsessive

Generally speaking, Osamu’s devotion to you knows no bounds.

He’s busy with his restaurant, cooking orders and managing paperwork, but in between shaping the rice and signing his name, every single thought is aimed towards you. He’s constantly idly wondering about what you’re doing, what you’re feeling, what you’re thinking, whether you’re happy or sad or whether you miss him.

He likes to imagine the way you look at any given moment you’re apart; he’ll imagine the soft smile on your face as you see a particularly cute pet when you walk down the street, your fingers itching to reach out and give it some love.

He’ll imagine the way you’d sigh to yourself and roll your eyes when your coworkers are being annoying again; he’s told you so many fucking times to just quit so you don’t have to worry about it anymore, but you always refuse and laugh him off.

(It pisses him off that you so lightly reject his advice; can’t you see how being there is ruining your mental health? Can you not see how it’s deteriorating you, how you’re so much more stressed now, how the money isn’t worth your time? It infuriates him, and he’s sure that once you’re living together, your full time job will be taking care of the house, not your own finances. He’ll cover that, so don’t you worry your pretty little head.)

He’s imagining the way you shrug on your jacket, zipping it up until it stops right below your nose because it’s fucking cold outside, how you’d look like a cute little hedgehog all wrapped up for winter – no doubt warm and soft and perfect to hold in his arms.

He’s always thinking of you in sweet, domestic situations; you’re just too adorable to him, and it’s always been his fantasy to find a partner and live out those horribly cliché romantic tropes he always sees in TV or reads in books.

He wants to be the one spoon feeding you warm soup on cold days, watching as you flutter your lashes shyly at him and compliment to new recipe he tried out (or, more accurately, the recipe he made up knowing your favorite ingredients).

He likes to think about waking up in the mornings with you, the sunlight streaming onto your face as you let out soft little breaths and even the occasional snore, making his nose scrunch up and a snort leave his laugh because fuck, he’s heard that nose through your window for years and now that it’s right in front of him?

He’s imagining falling asleep with you, too, helping you with the skin routine he demands you set up and carry out with him – he wants to have dozens of photos on his phone of you making a kissy face in the mirror with him, a white mask covering your skin and making you look like some sort of slasher serial killer.

He’s plagued by thoughts and fantasies of you in every shape and form. (Some much, much more explicit than the kind, domestic ones – images of you on your knees with cum dripping down your chin and onto your tits, your fingers holding open your pussy and turning away your head in embarrassment as he stares from above you on the bed, the way you’d wantonly moan out his name and scratch down his back because he just feels too damn good.)

And so, the basis of his obsession with you starts out almost immediately with gathering information about you.

He wants to fantasize these sweet (and not-so-sweet) moments with you, but in order to this he needs to know more, to learn more. He wants to know everything he possibly can; when do you fall asleep at night?

Do you spend hours staring at your phone in the darkness of your bedroom, or are you out the moment your head hits the pillow?

What kind of food do you like?

Do you eat breakfast, and if so how would you feel about breakfast in bed, with you woken up to the scent of freshly scrambled eggs and a few (much too heated) kisses to your forehead by Osamu himself?

Do you prefer to spend time with others or by yourself?

Are you an animal person, and if so would you consider getting a pet with him as a trial run for your first child?

He wants to know every possible detail there is about you – and he’s frighteningly good at it. He’s just so unsuspecting; he’s nice, funny, a stand-out guy to everyone that knows him, and why would you have reason to think any differently?

Sure, it may be slightly offputting with how insistent he is that he’s always with you and making sure others don’t get close to you, but you’ll answer every question he throws at you.

After all, it may seem a bit odd to be asked what your greatest fear is, but you’ll just  at him and puzzle over the answer, pressing a finger to your lip as you hum in thought.

It may be strange initially to be bombarded with so many questions about your future plans (where do you want to live? What do you see as your ideal marriage? Your ideal house? Your ideal number of children? Could you see yourself becoming a housewife or a stay at home mother?), but you’ll shrug off the sense of unease coiling at your shoulders and answer him honestly, because that’s just what friends do.

However, once his questions start teetering to a more questionable side, things that you don’t feel comfortable sharing with him, with another man, red flags may begin appearing for you. After all, why does he need to know your bra size?

The package of fancy lingerie that appears on your front door the next day in delicate lace of your favorite color surely can’t be connected to him, right? Even if the fit is perfect?

Why does he need to know how heavy your periods are; what knowledge could that serve him?

(Quite a bit actually, if the some twenty boxes of pads, tampons, and menstrual cups he’s hoarded into his closet in his apartment is any indicator.)

You’ll slowly grows confused by his efforts to know more and more, but Osamu is slick; he’s good at keeping information at bay, at comforting your fears because he's just such a nice guy, now won’t you please take another sip of your beer and tell him what position gets you seeing stars every time?

He just loves you, and he expresses his love by overfilling his brain with information of his favorite variety – you.

DEALING WITH RIVALS 

While it would be a stretch to say Osamu never feels jealousy, he wouldn’t be lying if he said that the majority of his unease with other men earning your attention lies from the perspective of simply wanting to protect you.

Of course, he doesn’t like the possibility of your attention and love deviating away from him, your pretty eyes no longer focused on his, your smiles and laughter no longer aimed at his words and jokes. He likes that you seem to like him – he needs you to like him, after all, but that isn’t the entirety of what fuels his jealousy.

No, it’s the paranoia that eats away at him every time he sees you in public with any number of other people around you. He knows what kinds of monsters a lot of men are – he went to school with a number of them, and while he considers his friends to be good guys, even his closest companions have said questionable things over the years.

Hell, he’s though some questionable things over the years – of course, he’d never act on them, but idle thoughts of wow, she’s got nice tits or those pants are tight, wish she’d bend over again shocking him and making his cheeks flush red. He always feels guilty, immediately leaving the room and not able to look the woman in the eye ever again, but if he, Osamu Miya, someone who likes to think of himself as a feminist and non-threatening to women, is capable of such thoughts?

Then what do the men that don’t hold themselves to higher standards think? What kind of sick, perverse thoughts are rolling through their heads when they see a pretty woman nearby, a pretty woman like you?

It makes his skin crawl to just think about it, and so while he knows that rationally four out of five men would never hurt you, there’s always the what if eating at the back of his mind. He likes to think of himself as a the chivalrous, traditional male partner who cares for and protects his lover, and what kind of a man would he be if he wasn’t able to keep vicious hands – and heaven forbid, cocks – away from you?

What does that say about his ability to protect you, his ability to keep you happy and safe by his side? And so, while jealousy happens to him fairly often, most of the time it’s an ugly mix of his own personal jealousy, his protectiveness, and pure selfishness that cause him to tense up and watch the scene with an extra careful eye.

Towards the beginning of his obsession with you, Osamu was much more reluctant to actually interfere in situations in which he suspected something bad may happen. Of course, the moment anything bad actually did happen, like the man talking to you and reaching out to touch your shoulder, forced him to spring to life, to come to your aid and make him out to be not only the knight and shining armor, but also to get you out of that situation.

He’ll always remember the first time he did this – you ‘d been cornered by a man at a park while Osamu ‘happened’ – at least, you think it was an accidental meeting – to be passing through. The man had been sneering at you and backed you up against a tree in a less populated area, with no one seeming to notice.

You’d been visibly scared; shoulders tensed up and little stuttered pleas for him to move falling past your lips, but the man didn’t seem to care – or maybe, didn’t seem to mind. He’d been quick to swoop in, stepping between you and the man, and while Osamu doesn’t quite have the same physique as he did in high school, his height and the still very clear muscles coating his arms were enough to have the man scuttering off, spitting at the ground and glaring at Osamu.

He’d immediately turned around to help calm you down, leaning down and placing his hands on your shoulders, and it’s safe to say that the way you hugged him and whispered your thanks only further cemented his obsession for you – if you were to ask in the future, that’s the moment he’d say he knew he was in love with you.

And so, after that initial turning point, Osamu hasn’t hesitated much when it comes to defending you against unwanted (or, even wanted) attention from men – it’s his job, after all, and the reward of you clinging to him is so damn worth it.

The bell chimes right as expected, Osamu’s back facing the door to Onigiri Miya.

He can’t help the wide grin that takes over his features, even as he tries to bite it back so as to not lose his cool. He’s sure a flush is coating his cheeks; you always come in around five o’clock on Wednesdays like today, ordering your usual – onigiris that Osamu makes specially for you, but would never tell you is only willing to make for you.

He’s molding the rice with his hands at the counter, grateful for the open concept kitchen and eating area because as he turns around and sees you walking up to the register, the breath gets sucked out of his lungs.

Fuck, you’re so pretty.

And you’re looking right at him – chuckling as you call his name and wave your hand again, breaking him of the stupor he’d been trapped in. He clears his throat in embarrassment and fixes his cap, wiping down his hands on his pants as he approaches the register.

You greet him and give him your order, mentioning off-handedly you’ve been looking forward to his food all day – it must’ve been the only thing that got you through work, you’re sure. Osamu’s heart melts in his chest, the feeling in his fingers fully gone as he lets the compliment sink in, but he’s almost on autopilot as he rings you up and takes the money from your hand, already pushing the tray containing the onigiri your way.

(He’d already had it prepared, something you asked with a laugh as you took the tray, though you’d turned on your heel after thinking him before you could hear his small, vulnerable of course.)

His shift takes what seems like forever after that – he’s trying to focus on cooking, on making sure the seaweed lays perfectly against the rice, the filling being mixed to perfection, not letting any customers wait too long at the register, but it’s hard.

It’s hard to not watch the way you enjoy your food as you sit at the table by the window, the overcast sky shining in on you and making you seem to glow.

It’s also hard to ignore the way the man at the table next to you keeps sneaking glances at you, and when he opens his mouth to finally speak to you once you’re roughly halfway through your food, Osamu’s hand involuntarily crushes the rice in its grasp.

He curses under his breath as he sets it aside, perking his ears up and straining to hear the conversation. He’s flirting, Osamu realizes with a gut-wrenching feeling in his stomach – and badly, too. All compliments about your looks; you’re looking pretty today, love that skirt on you. Do you work out? You’ve got great legs. Osamu feels a shiver roll down his spine, and suddenly the mishappen rice is forgotten as he can only stare at the interaction, feeling his body temperature rising rapidly the longer the stranger talks.

You laugh weakly at the man’s comment, clearly uncomfortable as you shift in your seat to get further away from the man who’s clearly leaning in towards you. Your fingers tap nervously against the table you’re seated at, the shop suddenly feeling much too empty to you.

Oh, uh, that’s very nice of you… you trail off, hoping to end the conversation in its tracks. Unfortunately for you, the man doesn’t seem to pick up your hint.

He resumes on, rambling on about his own workout regimen, even going so far as to pull back the sleeve of his t-shirt and flex, cocking a brow at you and offering to let you touch his bicep.

You refuse, as politely as you can, and turn back to face your food. This seems to displease the man, and Osamu watches with a sharp, dangerous inhale of breath as the man reaches over and grabs your hand, setting it on his arm as he murmurs out a doesn’t it feel good –

Osamu’s moving before he knows it, having jumped the counter and practically sprinting to reach you. His wrist slaps away the man’s hand, your own fingers retracting immediately. He stares down in anger, disgust, barely contained rage, watching as the stranger’s lips part, anger and fear swimming in the man’s black eyes. Get out. Harassment is not tolerated in this restaurant. Get the fuck out, and don’t ever come back.

His voice is deep, the scariest you’ve ever heard it, and for a moment even you’re terrified – of Osamu, of all people.

But it seems to do the trick; the man is out of his chair in an instant, almost cowering away as he shakes his head and haughtily scoffs, walking towards the exit and keeping his shoulders taut all for show.

Osamu growls, before spinning on his heel and facing you, his hands on your shoulders as he searches your eyes with his own. He asks frantically if you’re okay, bombarding you with questions while you simply stare, before lunging at him and wrapping your arms around him, your shoulders shaking slightly as you whisper your thanks over and over. Osamu freezes for a moment, a pink flush spreading across the plains of his cheeks, before his arms return the embrace, squeezing you so much it nearly hurts.

He stays like that for who knows how long, before you pull back and he begrudgingly lets you go. You gulp and tell him you’re okay, that you’ll just finish this last bit of onigiri and then you’ll be off, and Osamu only nods, a displeased look on his face.

He scruffs your hair as he stands up, smirking down at you as you whine a bit, before he steps out the door, following the path he’d seen the man take.

It’s not hard to find him, nor is it hard to shove him against the alley wall, his fist meeting flesh once, twice, five times as the howls in pain. He’s clutching his face in his hands and crouching down by the time Osamu is done with him, but all the chef can do is spit at him, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and cursing under his breath.

Disgusting, treating women like that. Especially my women. Don’t you ever fucking come back, or next time I’ll kill ya. I’m dead serious. Yer fucking dead.

He seems happier when he steps back inside the shop, sending you a little wave to which you return, unknowingly making his heart flutter and his resolve harden.

Yeah, he’d do whatever it takes to make you safe and happy – even if it means roughing up his own criminal record.

TAKING HIS DARLING AWAY

To be quite honest, the prospect of kidnapping you occurs to Osamu disturbingly quickly.

He’s always seen himself as wanting to end up with a partner one day – a pretty wife that he cherishes and who cherishes him back. He wants to live in a nice, downtown apartment a few blocks away from his restaurant, the whole place painted shades of white and gray (he’d never admit it, but just to match his hair and because his skin tone looks best against the color), with maybe a cat or child running around not too long after.

It’s a fantasy, pure and simple, but while little fourteen year old him was embarrassed to be daydreaming about such a sappy idea (Atsumu had been more than willing to make him aware of how weird this was when he’d accidentally let it slip at sixteen), the embarrassment has faded with age until Osamu began viewing the idea as less of a desire and more of a sure aspect of his future.

And so, once his feelings of such magnitude for you form, you seem to fit perfectly into this image he’s built in his mind.

You’d be such a good partner – he’d love to live by your side, sharing the dinner table with you, a bed, a shower, even a toothbrush if you wanted to. (And in case you’re wondering, yes, he wants to.)

It’s remarkably easy to imagine stepping into a bath tub with you, his bare chest against your bare back as you lean against him, letting your wet hair fall over his shoulders and his chin hook above your head. He'd rub his arms up and down your shoulders, admiring the way you shiver in his touch before relaxing, the heat of the water making your muscles loosen as the shiny diamond on your ring finger winks up at him, validation that you’re his, that he earned you.

It’s surprisingly easy to imagine poking your nose with a dollop of whip cream as he makes a batch of eclairs, seeing the way your nose scrunches up and you giggle, wiping it off your skin and instead placing it on his lips, following it up with a kiss and mischievous tongue that licks away all the cream.

It’s disturbingly easy to picture the way you’d breathlessly whisper to him that the test is positive – we’re – you’re – you’re gonna be a dad, ‘Samu.

You just fit the entire fantasy oh so perfectly, and so it just feels natural to substitute in your form whenever he finds himself idly daydreaming about his future. It’s mostly during long shifts at the restaurant or late nights alone in his bed that the thoughts come, but after only about two months of his obsession reaching it’s full fledged rage that the notion that he needs to live out these fantasies really solidifies.

No longer is it something he sees himself eventually doing – no, he will be living out his hopes for his future life, and you will be the one doing it with him. And so, while he’d ideally have you consenting to this and choosing to move in with him, Osamu isn’t above forcing you, either.

Of course, he’ll ask you first; it’s intended to be casual, the way he brings up moving in together, your brows shooting up in confusion because we’re not dating, ‘Samu, right? So why would we move in together…?

And really, you don’t have to remind him of that – you’re practically dating, aren’t you? With the amount of time you spend together, the longing glances he gives you that he swears are returned, and the way you melt into his touch when he gives you what you think is a friendly hug or kiss on the cheek.

You’re basically already together – which is why Osamu decides that sure, you may be pissed at him for the first few days, weeks, hopefully not months of being his captive, eventually you’ll come around. You seem to have a soft spot for him, and he can treat you like he should – he promises.

He can make you happy, in ways you’ve never been happy before.

And really, as much as you won’t want to admit it, Osamu is right.

You are mad when you first wake up to a semi-familiar but not quite known bedroom, your chest rising and falling rapidly because this isn’t your home. You don’t remember going home with anyone the night before, so where are you?

It’s only once Osamu slips into the room, his face lighting up at seeing you awake that the pieces slowly start connecting, the lock he sets into place on the door’s deadbolt making panic eat away at your gut.

You’re mad, enraged, terrified, and all Osamu can do as you struggle and yell at him to let you go is sigh and nod his head, telling you that it’s okay, I understand this is scary, but it’s what’s best for you. For us.

Of course, that doesn’t get you any calmer – you’re quick to spit out allegations of him being crazy, telling him that there is no ‘us’, that it’s not okay for him to be locking you away with him for the rest of your life – as he so brazenly tells you.

Osamu is patient, though, at least at the start. He’s not delusional enough to believe that you’d be happy the moment you wake up in your new home, that everything would be rainbows and butterflies.

However, Osamu does eventually expect you to straighten up; maybe it’ll be Stockholm Syndrome, maybe it’ll be those feelings of attraction you’d held for him before being stolen away resurfacing once more.

Frankly, he doesn’t care – all he cares about is now you’re in his grasp, by his side, where he can keep you safe, secure, and his. And safe he’ll make sure you are; the entire house is nearly babyproofed, because while he doesn’t think of you as an infant or treat you like one, there’s a part of him that’s too terrified that you’ll see the knife and start getting ideas.

He’s scared that if he doesn’t have covers on all the outlets, you’ll take the fork and jam it in as far as you can go, hoping your heart will eventually stop beating. The thought is too much for him to bear, and so he’d begun planning to make his apartment (in a very exclusive part of town, thanks to Atsumu’s connections, complete with soundproof walls and more square footage than he could ever hope to use) as perfectly fit for the both of you as early as he could.

And so, once you wake up that fateful morning to his bedsheets, you don’t really have a chance at escaping. And despite being kidnapped, you’ll find that you don’t particularly want to; you don’t have too much anonymity, but at least Osamu respects you enough to let you do your basic hygiene alone.

He’s not accompanying you to the toilet, nor does he brush your teeth for you, nor does he dress you himself. Of course, he’d love to do any number of these things, but he still sees you as your own, respectable person – just a person that needs him, is all.

Some things Osamu will still force you to include him in, though; showering is an activity that is always done together, your wet, nude bodies hovering close as he runs the loofah over your back, dipping dangerously close to your ass as he breaths a heavy kiss against the shell of your ear.

Cooking is an event that while he mostly does alone (he doesn’t trust you with a knife yet), you’ll be seated at the dining room table, expected to keep him company while he flies around the counters with pots and pans.

He’s really not too terrible of a captor, really. He’s pretty physically affectionate with you, always pressing kisses against the crown of your head, your fingers, your thighs, your lips and neck, and his arms are always around your waist while he sighs and relaxes against you.

He’s touchy, yes, but every amenity under the sun will be yours when you’re under his roof – nice TV’s with access to every streaming platform you could want, because he knows you get hankerings for programs that are difficult to find.

You’ll have exquisite food, always prepared by him and hand made with love (and perhaps, other things as well, though you’d rather die than find out the secret ingredient of his famous fried rice).

You’ll have an assortment of fluffy, warm sweaters (all of which have been worn by Osamu and spritzed with his cologne, just to get you falling in love with his scent), and all the blankets and stuffed animals you could ever want.

He wants to spoil you, and his only rules are pretty easy to follow; obey him, don’t try to escape, and don’t try to do anything that could hurt you.

It’s not horribly complex, is it?

It’s really not, and after a while of being stuck with Osamu as your only human contact, his kind words, compliments, gentle touches and earnest desire to please you, you’ll slowly find yourself letting your guard down, developing begrudgingly loving feelings towards him. You’ll hate it at first, hate both himself and yourself, but at the end of the day you really don’t have a choice.

Because while Osamu may chastise you for attempting to crack your neck (you’ll break it, baby, don’t crack it like that) or wear something light weight when the heating is broken for a few days in January (put on yer jacket or my sweatshirt, can’t have you walking around in shorts and a t-shirt for Christs’s sake), it’s difficult to ignore the way he looks at you with such reverence and devotion.

And while it may have scared you at first, eventually you’ll come around to it – isn’t it nice to know how much Osamu needs you? Isn’t it nice to feel wanted and desired, to know you’re the reason your captor is living, breathing, smiling?

It’s a head-fuck, sure, but who cares? All you’ll ever know for the rest of your life is Osamu Miya, so why not make the best of it?

PUNISHMENTS

For the most part, it’s true that Osamu is a fairly lenient captor.

He’s not particularly harsh nor demanding, and he does genuinely want to see you smile and return his feelings. Those fantasies of having a loving domestic life with you that he’s harbored for so long bar him from any truly atrocious acts, like burning you or leaving scars on your pretty body.

He doesn’t want to hurt you, not only because it would ruin his fantasies of being your perfect, caring lover, but also because he’d never be able to live with himself if he knew he was the reason for you being in pain. He’s driven to madness by his love for you, but he’s still not fully detached from reality – he knows that causing you pain is wrong, particularly physical pain. He’d be no worse than all those men he was trying to keep you away from when he was still developing his feelings for you.

And so, Osamu tries to give you as much freedom as he can within reason. You’re obviously not allowed to venture into the real world by yourself, nor are you allowed to do anything he deems dangerous (though, while belittling at times, eventually you’ll start to agree that it is dangerous for you to handle knives and razors, that you should just let him cut your apples and shave your legs).

You’re not allowed to disobey him, either, because if there’s one thing Osamu can’t tolerate from you, it’s disrespect or purposefully going against his words.

He doesn’t particularly enjoy brats, and he wants to be able to trust you to keep yourself out of harm’s way; it would save so many stress induced headaches, his eyes wearily watching the clock as he desperately wishes time would hurry up so he could close up shop and head home to you. He’s not super strict, and frankly it’s pretty easy to placate him – just hug him and compliment him, tell him you appreciate everything he does for you, and let him pamper you for a while.

He’s more than happy to take care of you; grabbing water and whipping up a nearly Michelin level meal of your favorite foods, with a yummy dessert for the both of you to share.

(With only one spoon, of course.)

He’ll turn on your favorite movie and have you lean back against his chest, his fingers idly massaging at your scalp as you watch the bright colors and action, familiar with every line and making him chuckle as you recite it.

He’ll lift the covers over your tired form when you’re about to fall asleep, diving down below them as he trails kisses down your stomach and between your legs, wanting you to fall asleep while feeling good, even if it leaves him hanging and having to either fuck his fist or your pretty thighs while you sleep.

And so, you’ll discover it’s actually pretty hard to tick Osamu off enough to get him to punish you – but when you do, he’s remarkably good at shutting down the behavior, even if it kills him to do so.

Osamu’s always known he’s soft on you; he doesn’t claim to pretend that he’s the traditional man of the household, putting you into your place so that you’re always the subservient woman.

No, if anything, Osamu plays both roles – being the strong man in the relationship, and caring to your every whim and need. And so, while it makes his heart ache and his gut wrench in agony to do it, he knows that the best way to punish you is to stop taking care of you.

He thinks the fastest way to show you that he’s your everything is to stop being it for a while – not cooking for you, not holding you in his arms, not engaging you in conversation and asking about your day, not giving you more attention than you would ever know what to do with.

It hurts him (more than it hurts you, if we’re being honest), but it’s the only way – and so, as Osamu watches in displeasure as you shake your head at him, he’s internally sighing. You’d refused to let him bathe you again – you’d been feeling rebellious lately, and while you’d only been with him for about a month – not nearly long enough for the Stockholm Syndrome to set in to the degree he wanted it to – he was starting to get sick of it.

Can’t you see he just wants to give you the proper love and care you deserve? It’s so hard to properly wash yourself, and it’s such a sweet, intimate moment to let him take control of your body, to run the soap through your hair and down the expanse of your arms and legs. Your rejection of bathing feels like a rejection of him, and so he merely nods his head, those gray eyes fixed on you.

Okay, he tells you, sitting up from the dinner table.

The barely touched food in front of you is snatched away from you in the blink of an eyes, being scraped into the garbage bin before you can even utter a word.

You’re confused, your rebellious flare dying down as you stare at him, unsure of what he’s doing. Osamu doesn’t say anything more, merely washing the plates in the sink while willing himself to not glance at you.

(It takes an inhumane amount of self-restrain to accomplish this task, as he’s so used to stealing looks at you nearly every minute of the day, too mesmerized by your beauty to do anything more than gape like a fish, but he manages.)

And maybe it’s petty, but hearing the way you mutter his name has his resolve hardening, because fuck, you’re already cracking.

Once the dishes are done, he dries his hands and whistles a tune to himself, heading down the hallway to his office. Paperwork is strewn across the wooden top, evidence of the way he’d been procrastinating for days on doing it in favor of spending time with you, but now is the perfect time. With a heavy sigh, he plops down into his rolling chair, picking up the pen and getting to work signing and approving business transactions, visualizing where he wants the company to be this time next year.

He slowly grows immersed in the work, having chanted to himself too heavily at the start of the paperwork to ignore you, ignore you, make her dependent on you by ignoring her needs, it’s the only way.

And so, when you peek into his office room, biting your lip in worry, Osamu genuinely doesn’t notice. You’re not sure what’s going on – he’s never this dismissive of you, always asking you if you’re hungry or need anything, if you’d like to read a book together or take a nap.

He’s never gone this long with at least smiling at you, and while it’d likely only been forty five minutes since you’d told him in a moment of bravery that you didn’t want to bathe with him, it feels like a lifetime.

You watch for a few moments, before carefully sitting yourself in the plush armchair in the corner of the room, situated so that you’re watching his back as his pen flies across the paper and his finger across the calculator.

At some point, Osamu notices your presence, but he steels himself to remain visibly ignorant to you and your eyes that seem to be boring into him.

Soon he finishes for the night, groaning as he stretches his shoulders and arms, but as he gets up to leave he doesn’t bother to spare you a glance.

You heart aches; are you missing him? The thought has you biting your lip harshly, tears stinging at your eyes at the realization, but before you can anything you hear Osamu turn the faucet on the bath on, the sound of rushing water making you stiffen up. Perhaps… if you want his attention back, maybe you’d have to…?

Osamu's brows are tightly drawn as he strips himself of his clothing and steps into the tub, trying to let the warm water relax his tense muscles. He peeks at the (purposefully) open door to his left, wishing that you’d appear, but after five minutes of you not showing up, Osamu sighs.

This is the right thing to do, he just knows it – how else is he supposed to get you dependent on him, on his love and protection? He knows it, he swears, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, that his lungs don’t feel like they’re crushing under the weight of his heartache –

He’s brought out of his reverie as he feels a poke at his hand, opening his previously closed eyes to see you standing next to him, a nervous and somewhat embarrassed look on your face.

With a start, Osamu notices that your cheeks are wet and your eyes still a bit red, and immediately guilt is crashing into him; he made you cry, fuck. He blinks at you, trying to keep his face emotionless, and watches as you gulp.

I-um, can I get in with you? You’re asking in such a quiet, unsure voice, and for a moment Osamu threatens to break his careless façade, the urge to swoon at your cuteness nearly too much to handle.

He blinks once more, prompting you to keep speaking.

You play with your fingers as you stare down at them, letting the words fall off your tongue. ‘m sorry, I didn’t mean to be a brat. I’m just – I don’t know. I’m scared, ‘Samu, of how I’m feeling. You stole me away, and I’m not supposed to love you or even like you, but I don’t think I hate you anymore. I think – I don’t know, it’s confusing, but I think that I’m starting to need you.

Osamu’s heart is racing in his chest, your admission making his chest flush bright red, joy eating away at him because are you being honest?

Are you speaking from the heart?

The way you look so frustrated at yourself tells him that you are, and with a swallow much too loud to be unheard by you, Osamu speaks. Do ya understand that I’m just trying to take care of ya?

You quickly nod, chancing a glance at him, only to find his gaze stuck on you, the intensity making you shrink back.

It’s silent for a moment, before Osamu’s face splits into the softest, happiest smile you think you’ve ever seen, his arms opening wide as the water splashes lightly against his chest. Hurry up, cold water’s no fun to be in.

Your lips part and your eyes widen, and quickly you’re stripping off your clothes, too relieved at the way he’s looking at you to be embarrassed as every inch of yourself is revealed to his prying gaze. Soon you’re clambering in, burying your face into his neck and wrapping your arms around his torso, letting him return the embrace as you whisper against his skin.

I’m sorry ‘Samu, I know you love me and just want me to be safe, I’m sorry I acted out. I won’t do it again, just – just please, don’t ignore me. I need you too badly for that.

Osamu’s never had such a warm, pleasant feeling sit in his stomach before, and neither has he had such wonderful, romantic sex in his life as that night – with you clutching at him, not letting a single inch of space between your bodies, his name rolling off your tongue in waves as you came again and again and again, all for him.

OVERALL DANGER

Overall danger rating: 6/10

Osamu isn’t too terribly dangerous.

As far as yanderes go, he’s somewhat tame; he’s mostly just extremely devoted to your safety, and in turn devoted to making sure he knows everything about you so that he can properly fulfill his duty as your lover.

He’s a bit of a sucker at heart, and so while he’s capable of hurting others on your behalf (and isn’t afraid to do so, if he feels your safety is being threatened), Osamu treats you with delicacy.

You’re precious to him, something he can think of as truly and wonderfully his; he doesn’t have to share you with another soul on this planet, and he cherishes the idea of being your one and only in the same way. He’s lovestruck, truly, and while his protective tendencies may scare you at times, it’s truly coming from a (mostly) good place.

He just wants you to be safe and happy and his, and so while it likely doesn’t win him many points to be relocating you to his apartment, chasing off any rivals for your affection, time, or attention, Osamu sees it as a necessary evil.

He’s always wanted to have and be a loving partner, and you’re the one he’s decided has to be it. So while he may not be the traditional knight in shining armor, all Osamu cares about is you falling for him, just as you should.

All he wants is for your dependence on him to grow, so that the two of your can be mutually addicted to one another, unable to go nary an hour without at least some form of contact, be that a smile, a touch, a kiss, or feeling your wonderful, perfect little cunt squeezing around him.

Osamu just loves you, and try all you can, but eventually you’ll return his feelings. And how could you not?

There’s something wrong with him, yes, but have you ever felt so loved?

Have you ever felt so seen, validated, wanted?

You never have, and you never will, so just accept it. Accept him.

#_lee's profiles #_general profiles #_osamu miya #_inarizaki #yandere haikyuu #yandere osamu miya #haikyuu x reader

[best-type-moon-couple]

The Winner of the “Best Type-Moon Couple” Tournament is…

Gilgamesh and Enkidu (52% of the Vote)

[Congratulations for the Runner-ups, Mr. Sakamoto Ryouma and Mrs. Sakamoto Oryou, who came close with 48% of the Vote]

Thank you so much to the 502 people who voted in the final poll, as well as everyone else who participated/nominated/followed this tournament. I appreciate every single one of you and hope to see you next time I do something like this again. Until then, thanks for voting, see you whenever there’s a next time!

Letter from the Mod (Under the Cut):

Introduction:

So… uh… been a while since we talked like this, completely nervous, unprepared tournament mod to the hundreds of thousands of potential listeners and followers of the poll. Well, now that it’s over, I want to introduce myself.

Hi, you can call me Snow. I’ve been a Type-Moon fan for about a year now. I got into this series when my cousin introduced me to “Fate” and from there I started to grow on this series at an… large… unnormal… potentially problematic and unhealthy way.

“Where’d the inspiration come from?”:

When I got into Fate, the one thing that reached out to me were the characters themselves and their relationship with one another, and the more I looked into the nasuverse, the more characters that I found that I feel in love with, the more I started to hate, the more I started to have convoluted and mixed feelings towards, but the one thing I loved about most was how characters interacted with each other and how well, or unwell, they get along and nothing else can show my love and appreciation for character dynamics than the couples of Type-Moon.

The couples of Type-Moon range anywhere from being weird to comical to sad to disgusting to wholesome and even genuinely life changing, with the characters themselves having dynamic that either showed how much they pine for love, how love broke them, how love managed to fix them, or by simply how wholesome they are. When Samurai Remnant released and featured a character who loves their spouse very much that they make it their main focus in game, juxtaposed by their spouse still showing their love and devotion for them, it was the thing that eventually caused me to make this tournament in the first place (they weren’t in the tournament though, but it’s the thought that counts).

Running the Tournament:

I was completely sure that I wanted to run this tournament, but the main caveat was the fact that I never ran a tournament like this before and it became very clear, very quickly that I had no idea what I was doing (the potentially weird rules for the tournament and the delayed start times were a big red flag of this, so I’m glad we had so many people stuck around despite that).

Still, I wanted to do my best for this tournament, so I created everything myself (with my sister helping to find a tournament bracket website). And when I mean everything I mean I edited together the main banner of the blog and edited together most of the couple portraits (I got lazy and used official art for some of them, guess which ones)

What’s next?:

Honestly, I want to do another tournament sometime. Obviously not immediately since I also want time off, but I’d also want to do something else and see more people come together to vote on something we all may or may not enjoy. And while I have no ideas at the moment (if you want to give any ideas then feel free to share then through the askbox or through the submission box) but maybe this blog will go through a renovation when I figured something out, hm?

Want to see what I do?:

Well, in case you wanna follow me specifically, then you can follow my personal blog (@player-blandon) for more of my personal things or things I post about games I like sometimes. I don’t post there consistently, and when I do it’s probably, mostly, shitposts unless I’m live-blogging a game I’m playing through or (in the most recent post’s case) doodled something I wanted to share. It’s the place where I share things sometimes and hopefully it’s a place where I can talk to all of you about some stuff as well (chances are I’m going to be posting more fate and type-moon things after this tournament).

Closing Thoughts:

Honestly, this tournament was a bigger undertaking than what I originally thought, but I’m glad I did this. I consider it a learning experience.

Thank you all once again for participating in this tournament. Congratulations to the King of Heroes and his only friend for winning and good job Ryouma and Oryou for putting on a good fight. We all put in a lot in this tournament and I hope to see you all again when I do something like this again…

…until then, I’ll see you whenever I can. Goodbye everyone. See you later!

#a couple’s battle #couple tournament #tumblr tourney #and then they kiss #end of the tournament #fate #fate grand order #fate stay night #kara no kyoukai #tsukihime #mahotsukai no yoru #witch on the holy night

[random-introverted-blog]

I suppose you want to hear about...

Me! Hi!

So first things first, what is this blog? Despite this name, it's actually Not a Shadowheart exclusive BG3 blog. The name is just a play on a joke I made with some friends that there is a DEEP lack of Dark Justiciar Shadowheart and Dark/Jealous/Possessive content for her. While I, of course, get and love our precious, wholesome Selunite baby, there's a lot of untapped potential for her Sharran Side. There's already a whole post I made on why I think you can definitely pull off a Yandere/Obsessive Shadowheart if you're interested. Can find that post Here, if you're interested.

This blog will be

Astarion and Shadowheart focused. BG3 blog maybe a random aside thought?

Not everything will be Yandere/Dark

I would like to be heralded as a Meme Queen, thank you

YES, I write fanfiction too, there's no escaping us.

I have SO many prompts/ideas/drabbles to share with you guys too

Maybe an opinion or such, like the Yandere Shadowheart post

Requests? Don't trust myself to do them in a timely manner. Suggestions of things to write? All for those, hmu girlies

I write a longfic on AO3 called I Want To Live. You can find me... Here!

I also now write a story called His Star - His Queen and that can be found... Here! Or if you prefer to continue reading on Tumblr I have a master page I call the Chapter Index and the link can be found... Here!

My Tumblr name is different from my AO3. I have yet to transplant my drabbles to my AO3 but if you want to stalk and stare at the relative void of my page, you can find me Here! My name there is A Random Introvert.

My inbox is open in case you guys aren't aware. There's really no limit on what you could send in that I won't reply to.

My Masterlist can be found here!

If I'm perfectly honest?

I'm actually a Spawn!Astarion simp more

ALRIGHT PUT DOWN THE PITCHFORKS I'M JUST BEING TRANSPARENT HERE.

But I've always had a weakness for dark romance, yandere content, obsessive/possessive/jealous content, and Ascended!Astarion has that in SPADES. So does Sharran!Shadowheart and DarkJusticiar!Shadowheart just saying.

Hence why the profile picture and banner feature Astarion and Shadowheart. This blog is for both of them, as I simp both.

Now not to come across condescending or anything, I know most people are aware what a yandere is. But just in case there are some newbies/uninitiated in this sacred, unholy character trope. Never want people to feel awkward or unwelcome or even ashamed they don't know something.

There are many other tropes that tend to be interwoven into a yandere. It's hardly ever their only trait. You can learn the rest by reading that, and your own research.

Look, I may be a Spawn!Astarion simp but I'm very staunch in my belief.

This is above all a No Judgement - No Shame blog

We can all enjoy ascended Astarion or Obsessive Shadowheart or whoever else you want to make a dark character. We can, because we can all acknowledge that no one in a healthy frame of mind would actually want to be with a Yandere in real life. But here, in text and words, we can enjoy it for what it is. A fantasy. I have a partner (hi babe) who is the complete antithesis of a yandere. I am actively writing a double Yandere electric boogaloo fic on AO3. Which they actively read and I talk about often. Doesn't change that I want a healthy relationship. And if I ever got a hint that they were recreating the scenes I was writing, I would ***SPOILERS*** drop faster than Shadowheart's parents when she kills them that's dark and I'm not sorry nor feel bad for it ***END SPOILERS**

That said; I welcome you to this little blog of mine and wish to be welcomed to this fandom if you would let me.

I think we're going to have a lot of fun together

#baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate shadowheart #dark justiciar shadowheart #shadowheart #ascended astarion #baldurs gate astarion #bg3 astarion #astarion #spawn astarion #bg3 spoilers #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate #bg3 #baldur's gate #baldurs gate iii #baldurs gate blog #baldurs gate brainrot

[bumble66]

The similarities between closeted right-wingers and Chris Evans

Alternative title: "Dear Mr. future president Evans,"

Recently, I saw how Chris Evans met Joe Biden. For people who don't know. Chris Evans has a political online platform called ASP. This was not the first time he met a famous politican but meeting the president of the United States is something else. It should be clear by now why he does that... Anyway, it reminded me of the gossip I found recently:

As I mentioned in my last big blog post, about Chris' potential boyfriends, I am not really a fan of marvel and didn't know much about him during his time as Captain America. I only got interested after he started the cringeworthy PR relationship in November 2022. In 2018, I was made aware of how many closeted celebrities exist and Mr. Evans being so clumsy with his Portugal bride gave me the perfect opportunity to uncover this Hollywood facade.

As you can see, I have also been asked by a lot of people why I think Chris could be closeted (either gay, bi or a straight guy who doesn't want to commit and just sleeps around). I will answer these questions in relation to today's topics: I. The Portugal PR relationship is mostly done for his future political career (or that was the plan before the backlash) II. The behavior of closeted right-wingers resembles Chris Evans' III. Portugal Bride was not the first PR relationship rumor but why does a rich, attractive and alleged womanizer like Chris need PR relationships all the time? As I always say. Everything on my tumblr is alleged. I merely summarize what people speculate online and give my own opinion on that.

Tim Scott, a failed GOP 2024 candidate and alleged closeted gay man, announced on X that he got engaged to a woman:

As you can see from the screenshot, no one's buying it. It is rumored Tim Scott is doing this because he will be chosen as Trump's vice president. People online claim that Tim Scott being gay has been talked about way before the first "Why doesn't have Tim Scott have a girlfriend" articles:

I heard about Tim Scott being gay and being pressured to have a PR girlfriend around the same time Chris pretended to have gotten married in September and that made me think... I can't find the comment anymore but I remember someone of Chris' fans on the LSA forum suggesting that Chris' "A starting point" political platform isn't just for shits and giggles. Apparently, he wants to go into politics after his acting career. No idea how successful he will be now with that after his latest movie flops and the Portugal relationship having led to lost followers on his social media accounts because it made him appear as a "dollar store Leonardo DiCaprio" but in general..., this idea isn't too far off. Remember the Terminator aka Arnold Schwarzenegger? An action hero became the Governor of California and with Chris Evan's fake Captain America image, pretending online and in interviews to be like Steve Rogers, he could sway a lot of people too!

Remember. The alleged marriage wasn't the first PR relationship of Chris Evans. At least according to his fandom, when they explained how he and Portugal Bride met, he was involved in several other PR relationships before:

According to this person, the relationships with Christina Ricci and Minka Kelly from long ago, were planned by a PR team too and it adds up with a blog post I found years ago about how Minka is allegedly a beard for my back then favorite actor Jake Gyllenhaal. Bearding appears to be a career of its own in Hollywood: https://gaywriter.wordpress.com/2012/06/19/blind-item-jake-gyllenhaal-is-looking-for-a-new-female-beard-to-present-illusion-of-heterosexuality-to-fans/

So his PR team not only allegedly had several options next to the Portugal Bride (like Monica Barbaro) but they were apparently also responsible for his faked relationship with Lily James? It is rumored that Lily wanted more from this PR arrangement from back in 2020. Possibly real love? The social media site Icons+ reports that "Lily James left Chris Evans to be a millionaire's "other woman"". She basically publicly "cheated" on Chris and many gossip sites reported on it. Did Lily do that as revenge because Chris solely wanted PR and rejected her? Kinda like "if you don't give me real love, I ain't giving you positive PR either". It makes me wonder though. Why would a heterosexual man privately reject a pretty woman like Lily James after wanting to be seen with her in paparazzi photographs after all? Odd.

Yes, Chris' alleged personal Paparazzo with the name Jesal basically admitted that he was called to do the pictures with Lily back in 2020 (Nowadays, he seems to be busy with the Portugal PR relationship as you can see from the screenshot, where he was called for a christmas party Portugal Bride and Chris attended). This reminds me of of another failed 2024 GOP candidate who is rumored to be closeted. There is a medium article regarding Ron DeSantis called "Is the GOP gossiping that Ron DeSantis is gay?", how most if not all of the GOP party know about his alleged homosexualty:

As you can see, not just his own party but the general public thinks so too. In fact, they speak about Ron DeSantis' being closeted the same way some people speak about Chris being allegedly closeted:

The replies to this dailymail article about Chris' and Portugal Bride's relationship-reveal, demonstrate that people think that both Chris and Ron overplay the alpha male macho tough guy image, solely to cover their true sexual orientation.

But PR relationships can also have another function. As I pointed out on my blog before: There are many heterosexual men I know who just wanted to sleep around but because of societal pressure, they pretend to be monogamous. The latest political example of that seems to be Gavin Newsom who has been in the news for being an alleged serial cheater. He was already caught cheating back in 2007. On X I found this summary of his latest shenanigans: (TRIGGER WARNING: mention of SA)

Why do I mention Ron DeSantis and Gavin Newsom in relation to Chris Evans? Because they all have one thing in common. A fake stable married man image. Look at the header picture of DeSantis and Newsom on X. Newsom holding his son in his harm. A few weeks ago, DeSantis had a header picture of holding his children's hands and the latest picture, you can see right now, also shows his wife and kids again to portray the family man image while allegedly being someone completely different (a closet case = Ron, a cheater= Gavin). Sorry not sorry but when I saw those header images combined with the rumors I knew about those two guys, I immediately though that Chris is not so different. He also calls the paparazzi, so he can be portrayed for the public as a guy who has a stable relationship and doesn't randomly sleep around in all kids of places.

As someone pointed out on the Lipstick Alley thread called "Chris Evans Relationship Theories 5", he used to go to parties similar to the ones seen in the movie "Eyes Wide Shut" but these rumors were allegedly scrapped by his team when he became Captain America. Why did they worry so much about this specific gossip? Was it true after all? Apparently this goes back as far as 2006:

I have no problems with that because I am pro sexual liberation. I actually point this out so we can normalize this and let people be who they really are, so that they don't have to do these fake relationships anymore.

I mean, remember the screenshot from my "Chris Evans possible boyfriends" post? The user ShellyT20... how she described that a lot of PR relationships in Hollywood exist because the male actors either sleep with each other, have p-word scandals and/or are serial cheaters "but post fake romance stuff on IG and other public platforms. It gives a fake sense of normalcy and stability and shuts fans up for the most part as well as acting as a distraction." When I read this I got reminded of the public "beyond the blinds podcast" episode you can listen to on spotify. The one about the Hemsworth brothers. There it was alleged that Chris Hemsworth is constantly cheating. I wasn't surprised. He isn't my type but I can't deny that he is what most consider super attractive + tall + rich = in no way is this guy monogamous as a famous hollywood actor (LMAO the audactiy to even thinkt hat)... Sadly, when I confront some people with that... for instance Evans fans on LSA or X, most roll their eyes and don't believe that.... They were like: "How can a guy like C. Hemsworth, who posts social media posts about loving being a father and being married for over a decade possibly be such a bad guy"... ... ... ... ... Well and this the reason why Hollywood still fools you with PR relationships because most of you are gullible. You want to see men married with children and as long as the women are age appropriate, you eat it up. And all this goes even beyond these Hollywood celebrities and politicians the general public is aware of. Apparently, even e-celebs are in PR relationships/fake image relationships these days. The youtuber TheQuartering, who said he was partying with right-wing e-celebs said this about them last year: (TRIGGER WARNING: transphobic slur)

Just like how Chris Evan's fans are disappointed that he wasn't the internet boyfriend after all (his fake image for the 2010s) and started to date random young women like Leonardo DiCaprio and Bradley Cooper, TheQuartering was disappointed too with his right-wing colleagues, who pretended to be committed husbands with children while actually being a closeted pride parade. The right-wing commentarors TheQuartering talks about are: Elijah Schaffer, Jack Posobiec and Mike Cernovich. When I found that out I was shocked. I was like "So even these e-celebs are basically "their own Hollywood club" and need PR relationships to function publicly". It really shows how deep gender roles are still ingrained in our society. That even internet-famous people have to have a family man image and portray themselves in a certain way to become "e-celeb-A-list". And if they don't, they will be denied that status.

I know it hurts that your favorite A-list stars are also wife cheaters and that their activism is most likely fake only so that they can continue participating in Hollywood orgies (Which apparently already happen on the e-celeb level). But at one point it had to come out and isn't it better to accept reality than to participate in and support these fake scenarios only to feel better about the world? Cause it is not just TheQuartering who exposed the fake image of the right-wing online community. Blaire White, a right-winger herself, pointed out the same. As people say, where there is smoke, there is fire:

In this video at 55:35 regarding Blaze Media, Blaire White spills tea about closeted e-celebs. It also includes orgies and drugs... like with our favorite super hero (allegedly).

(Blaire is not the only one who knows about the orgy parties)

Lastly, one of the most famous right-wing e-celebs is Steven Crowder. On his channel he had a video where he once admitted that he had a bisexual phase... a phase..

And according to his own logic that means:

He also went so far and basically created beard twins. I remember clearly the video where he announced the pregnancy of his wife. He held up a picture into the camera from an ultrasound. It was like "See, I am hetero after all. Are you happy now?". That's at least my opinion on how the video looked like and it adds up with what peole usually say about him:

Honestly, if someone had told me that this text is about Chris Evans, I'd have believed it and so now we have come full circle. While I only know about Chris Evan's since the pandemic (As I said, I don't watch super hero movies), I am still disappointed. In some interviews, he appeared so adorable, awkward and different from other men in Hollywood (like when he was interviewed about his "Lightyear movie announcement" tweet on Jimmy Kimmel). But in the end he is no better than the closeted republicans. Portraying a conservative image of marriage while behind closed doors it is worse than a sitcom trying to convince you that canned laughter makes everything funnier.

(picture: Is this the awkwardness people talk about? Adorable...)

Yes, there have always been rumors that his real personality is being "weird and awkward" and that he is not just acting in movies but also in most interviews. It goes so far that someone claimed he had been rejected on a date and that's why some people assume it is actually him who initiated the Portugal PR relationship and basically paid for it because he can't get someone himself through normal means. Are some people punished with their good looks?

IMO just like with the married right-wing e-celebs who do orgies all the time, it is also a bad idea of Chris wanting to become a father (at least according to his "sexiest man alive" PR narrative from 2022 which seems to be in the trash can now too).

But let's assume his PR team has that still on their minds: Not only would it be solely for his image (which would make this situation PR either way, even if the marriage were real) but according to all his alleged wild ways, he is also unfit to parent, it would be a disaster actually. Controversial commentator Pearl Davis described it very well. How some people just shouldn't be parents:

I agree with Vale. She would just be in it for the image of being a married woman and in our case... a married, monogamous, non-cheating family man. A user on LSA said that when you switch out "fake nails" with "fake teeth" in Pearl Davis' message, you will have the pefect description of Chris Evans:

(Chris Evans being interviewed at the Lightyear premiere resembling Barry Manilow with too much botox) Sorry but after seeing this picture, I have to agree with her. I love his clothing style but a bi-peacock who is more interested in vanity and fake status will never be a good role model for children. As the saying goes: "You can't have it both ways"

I know this is all a tough pill to swallow but c'mon people. This is the year 2024 and at one point this fakeness just needs to stop. Celebrities, politicians and even social meda e-celebs... you are being fooled. And according to Hollywood insider and daughter of famous TV personality John Walsh, a lot of times, one partner of the arrangement is suffering. Is this really what you support? I don't and that's why I uncover all these PR relationships of the entertainment world because as a true progressive, I don't think that people should be judged based on outdated gender expectations like marriage and monogamy.

The closet kills... your real personality. I mean honestly, what do you gain from being remembered after your death as someone you never were? As Joan Rivers jokes at 0:43 in a short clip from 1966. This so called bearding has been going on forever. I don't think we need a 100th anniversary of this shameful practice. So please help me to expose this so that in the future, celebrities can become famous for truly being themselves.

#chris evans #hollywood #pr #pr relationships #lavender marriage #feminism #lgbt #bisexuality #steven crowder #elijah schaffer #jack posobiec #e-celebs #right wing extremism #closeted #gay pride #joan rivers #socially awkward #socially anxious #fake image #fakeness #joe biden #politics #president #government #ron desantis #gavin newsom #mike cernovich #blaire white #gossip #celebrity gossip

[fandomsandfeminism]

I'd like to delete that conversation off my blog, because I really want to avoid potentially platforming our former friend there. But I did want to just preserve my thoughts about gate keeping language, specifically on "weird" Labels.

Labels are not some inherent biological reality to which we must conform in order to be correct. You cant zoom in on someones DNA and find a little tag that says "cis lesbian" or "genderqueer bisexual" or "demi-boy asexual panromantic." Labels, pronouns, these words are *tools.* they are rhetorical shorthand for people to describe, quickly, aspects of their experience to others. They are great for building community and discussing issues, but they aren't like *fundamental* to our DNA or something. They are only an approximation we use to try to sum up the complicated reality of ourselves to others.

So this idea of demanding that people use or not use specific words, insisting that their identity or use of labels is incorrect in some way? It doesn't work. People are using those labels and pronouns because they communicate information effectively. They say the things they want to say.

Our vocabulary changes. We no longer call ourselves "inverts" or "homophiles" like we used to. Terms like transvestite have fallen out of common use (though some still use the term.)

We've broadened labels and found vocabulary to describe the shades of difference between genderfluid and genderqueer and agender. Bi and Pan. People who once would have used the same label now use many different labels to express the shades of difference between our experiences. And even within labels, diversity exists. Not all bi people are bi the exact same way. Not all trans people are trans the exact same way. Not all lesbians are lesbians the exact same way.

And other people having a different experience and using different words than you aren't an attack against you. We're all still who we have always been. The community has always contained this diversity. The community has always had people who have a vast multitude of gender and sexuality and presentation queerness. The rainbow is a spectrum.

(Truly, if you have never read our history, especially Pre-Stonewall, it will change your life. I can recommend some great resources if you want.)

He/him lesbians and gay non-binary people and whatever other labels people use? Those people have always been here and are using the language we currently have to best describe their experience to you. Instead of telling them that they are *wrong*, especially during this most beautiful month of Pride, instead- just listen to what they are telling you about who they are and believe them.

We're all in this together. Other queer folks aren't your enemy.

And, as I've said on other posts this Pride Month- there's power in the word Queer. In seeing us all as part of the same word, the same group, with beautiful diversity within that rainbow. All those more specific labels, while useful and wonderful, don't make us wholly different groups. Just different aspects of 1 community.

#queer #pride

[el-moscorrofio-y-el-mercachifle]

Hellooooo ❤️

I love your blog a lot, you're so insightful and it's like an oasis in the desert of media literacy in the YSBLF fandom, lol.

Wanted to ask, what do you think would've happened if Don Hermes found out about the Sinister Plan? I think that regardless of the point in the story he would probably be unable to forgive Armando for it and might be the biggest deterrent for Betty to be with/accept Armando back, but I wanted to know what you think and what possibilities you see!

Hiiii! Thank youuuu!🥰🥰🥰🥰

Oh, I love this question!!! It has multiple answers depending on when he finds out and how. that would have definitely been a big stone! Big enough to have been the plot of a sequel or of a whole other part of ysblf (that ik couldn't be, but it had the potential), or, simply, ending it all on tragedy.

I'll go for him finding out after Cartagena and through Armando. My first idea was him finding during Cartagena and through her diary, becaus I think the novela mainly nodded to that (given how he eyed the diary when Betty was leaving and how foña Julia mentioned he might try to read it), but after thinking it through, I think that if don Hermes had read through Betty's perspective how it all went down, how it shattered her, how it's not the first time a man manipulated her like this, and how she thinks her life is nothing but a "cycle of tragedy", he wouldn't have let her go back to Ecomoda at all. His protection style is avoiding the thing that can hurt her, like how he isolated her from the kids who mistreated her as a kid and how he didn't want to let her go to that "date" with Roman's friend. And it all would have ended right there, with Ecomoda back in th Mendozas/Valencias' hands for a microsecond before being eaten alive by the debts, lenders, and banks.

So instead I think the only way it could have worked and the relationship between A&B would have still happened would have been if he had known it all after the relationship started. Otherwise, he wouldn't have let Armando get anywhere near Betty. Probably Betty wouldn't even be allowed to go back to Ecomoda! The novela made a big point of Don Hermes not finding out under any circumstance.

I'm sure no one would tell him the truth, so I think he would have needed to find out on his own. Maybe he heard a rumor, or maybe he found something like the diary or a copy of the letter

Point is, he learns the truth, ans immediately his half-hearted tolerance of the relationship becomes full on disapproval

He already knows a few things that I'm honestly baffled about him just forgetting and approving of so quickly: that Betty was Armando's mistress and that they did semi ilegal business together

Add on top of that that Armando used Betty like that, and don Hermes definitely would have absolutely disapproved

He'd likely ban Armando from his house, and would make it extremely clear to Betty that he disapproves of Armando and doesn't want to see them together

Doña Julia would try to talk him out of that, but it wouldn't work.

Knowing don Hermes, he probably wouldn't even tell her why he hates Armando

Honestly, I think Nicolás would have been on his side

Personally, I think everyone by the end of the novela accepted the relationship simply because there was no more time, but if there had been, a whole new part of the novela could have been handling these types of issues

I definitely think Nicolás, don Hermes, and doña Margarita wouldn't have approved. Roberto would have likely continued nof being too present.

So I think the pressure of having almost no support from the people that they cared the most would have hurt a lot

Doña Julia may approve, tho

Nicolás would disapprove but be like "do whatever you want but I think this is wrong" ans would treat Armando coldly whenever they saw each other at Ecomoda

In the novela Armando basically implies that his dates with Betty were mainly at her house, so I'm guessing in this case they'd likely be mainly sneaking around in the office

Not that the relationship is a secret, but rather they would just keep it pretty lowkey

It would bring them down a lot, because for them it's important to have their parents' support

But by the time the engagement comes, Armando is sort of okay with knowing his dad is basically out of his life and his mom is very reluctantly in it

Margarita is not only angry about what happened with Marcela, but she's also angry about how quickly he went to Betty. ((With her too I think her quick acceptance of her was mainly due to lack of time))

Eventually don Hermes would have to tolerate Armando, but they would never form a good relationship

In general, as long as don Hermes finds out AFTER they are together, I don't think much bad would happen! I think Armando and Betty were ready and willing to fight for the other by that point. But if it were to happen during Cartagena or immediately after??? Or if he finds out through her diary??? Hell no, all hell would break loose! Don Hermes would get his gun and threaten Armando at gunpoint to never get near Betty again. He would forbid Betty from going back to Ecomoda. If Armando tried to go again to the house he'd be kicked out.

It's a lot of different possibilities depending on when he finds out!

Thank you for the ask🥰🥰 i'm glad you are enjoying my blog🥰🥰

#ysblf #yo soy betty la fea #betty la fea #armando mendoza #beatriz pinzon solano #beatriz pinzón solano #armando ysblf #betty ysblf

[opinated-user]

out of curiosity, I searched "violate" on the comic blog again...

nothing showed up.

https://archive.li/h70Nb , tooootally unrelated link pay ab-so-lutley nooo attention in any wayyyy

it's officially gone.

i searched for it from the start of the comic and the entire arc has been scrapped. but you know what is still there? the aftermath when CLO asks G to explain why she metaphorically raped her and CLO tells her that she'd (as 14 year old, mind you) would have consented to mental sex with an adult if that adult had just asked her.

this is the comic right before the entry i just mentioned. if you're a first time reader who never heard about Violate before, you'd have no idea what G did that needed any explaining. next there's a comic of CLO and CMO talking about the situation. followed up G, the child rapist, feeling sad about being a child rapist to her then girlfriend Butterfree, CLO still putting the lock on her room, CMO talking to G and CMO using Lizzy's real name to convince CLO to forgive the creature that raped her as a child.

the comic of CLO asking forgiveness to G is still there and i still hate it just as much as the first day i saw it.

the part in red are there to remark this: this is the dialogue of a survivor of CSA towards her own rapist. in the context of this story, CLO, as the victim, doesn't have a right to be cold or mean to G because "she" (the child rapist, if you forgot) "deserves better".

this story is still asking me to forgive a child rapist and thinks she deserves better. i want to scream. it gets worse when you add the context of everything Courtney talked about and it really sounds like what LO wishes her sister had said to her after Courtney was finally able to stop the molestation at her hands. we also still have the comic of CLO assuring G "i could never hate you" and telling that they're are okay. because that's something you want to read between a child rapist and her victim.

she deleted G actually talking to CLO about the mating bond, but she still left the mess behind how the other characters reacted to this behind. she deleted the confrontation and left the abuse apologia anyway. what is even the point then? now she just made a confusing mess. the Violate arc page is still in the wiki and now i just found out that not only was only two months that passed for CLO to completely forgive G for what she did, but also G apparently was killing people for discovering about the mating bond.

either killing them or taking away their ability to speak somehow, both horrific actions that make G even less sympathetic that she was after violating a child. just imagine that somewhere off screen, there's a ditch where G kept dumping bodies because they could have told CLO about how she was basically raped as a child.

but she "deserved better". she just does. because she's actually what LO wishes she could be, a sympathetic child molester that is a badass that can kill with one look and also got unconditional love from the people she abused even when she doesn't actually deserve it.

that's not all, anon. that's not all at all.

in the section of "character development" of the wiki for this arc, the one that had all the trauma and stress was G.

"willing to attack a child". a normal, healthy and more than that, understandable reaction to your victim potentially finding out that she was molested. feel sorry for G, anon. she felt bad about raping a child, which is even worse than being raped as a child by someone you thought was a friend if you think about it! /s at least according to LO it is! also G won't even attempt to improve as a person in any sort of way after she went through the trauma of raping a child as a fully mature adult. because the trauma of raping a child doesn't make you stronger, anon. it just wounds you.

putting aside my feelings for this horrible idea, you all know what to do: keep the archives of violate and share them up as much as possible, including the wiki page. it's only a matter of time before LO starts denying the arc was ever there and start saying that we wrote Violate or something.

#lily orchard

[yaderyngoch]

Alright so this entire situation is absolutely insane, but someone apparently accused me of being an anti for some reason, so I wanted to make a post with the full explanation of what's going on so that hopefully if anyone else sees this account, they know what's happening and I hopefully won't continue to get blacklisted from the Batman fandom for absolutely no reason.

Basically, I'm new to the Batman fandom as a whole, and a few months ago I decided to make a Twitter account that was specific to JayTim in hopes of meeting new friends who were also fans of the ship. The fandom friend group I'd been part of previously wasn't great for my mental health for a few reasons, so I was really really excited to join a fandom entirely disconnected from that group and hopefully make new friends. I know how antis can be, so I also made a new account disconnected from my main to protect my anonymity.

I forget where exactly I saw it, but I think it was in the replies of a tweet one of my mutuals replied to? I'm really not sure, but someone mentioned having a proship RP partner search blog on Tumblr. Immediately, I was ecstatic. I've been struggling finding people to rp with in general, and even moreso for JayTim, so I was really excited to meet new people and find new people to write with on this blog. It had been years since I'd been on Tumblr, but I made this account as a new sideblog specifically for the purpose of posting an ad to that account (I later learned you can't send in asks as a sideblog, but oh well)

I DMed the mod of the blog on Twitter to make sure my ad followed the rules and also let them know that my blog was new because it had been made new for the sake of posting an rp ad. I submitted the ad, they posted it on the blog, everything was great. While I waited for replies, I scrolled through old posts on that Tumblr account to see if anyone else was looking for a JayTim rp, and I found in the comments of one post the link to a Discord server specifically for BatFam rps. Immediately again, I was super excited. I'd been looking for a Discord server to become an active member of, and this seemed absolutely perfect, I was really incredibly excited about the idea of being part of a community. I know I'm beating the dead horse about how excited I was but I really want to emphasize that all of this was happening to someone who was utterly ecstatic about the idea of making new friends in a new fandom.

I joined that server, posted an rp ad there as well, and I got a message from the mod of that server about the ad suggesting we start a JayTim rp together. The conversation goes like any other with a potential new rp partner. Discussions of writing styles and preferences, I shared a sample from another JayTim rp I was doing at the time, things were looking great.

So then I decided to check Tumblr again to see if there were any updates about the post. To my surprise, I see that my post has been taken down, I have been blocked by the RP blog, and I have been blocked by the blog mod that I messaged on Twitter initially. There was no message about what I might've done wrong, no warning, nothing. No context, no conversation, just Blocked with no explanation. So of course I'm incredibly stressed out and confused because I have absolutely no idea what I did. It's been a while since I'd been on Tumblr so maybe there was an etiquette rule I broke? I know I'll block people who post a lot of a ship I don't like just because I don't want to see it on my TL, but my ad was specifically for JayTim in the first place and the mod approved it, and this wasn't a personal Tumblr this was a place to find RP partners.

While this is happening, the Discord mod is still chatting with me about ideas for our rp, and I apologized for seeming a little off suddenly and explained what happened and that I was really stressed and confused about it. The discord mod said they understood, and that it did seem odd. A few minutes later, they mentioned having to go to bed.

A while after that, I check Discord again to see that I've also been banned from that Discord server and blocked by that mod. Again, no explanation, no context, nothing. At this point I wanted to cry because I didn't understand what I was doing wrong or what was happening. I thought since I'd been talking to that mod about how confused I was about the initial situation, maybe they'd contact me to give me context, but no there was nothing. No way to contact anyone, no closure, just getting blacklisted from the new fandom I was so excited to join with no explanation.

At least a month went by. Finally I want to try and find more JayTim rp partners on Tumblr again so I look for a tag, and to my surprise I see that initial Tumblr rp partner search blog has unblocked me. So, I send them a message explaining what had happened and expressing my confusion. I'm just going to copy paste exactly what was said:

Me: Hi there, I'm admittedly a little confused. I posted an rp ad ages ago on this account, the mod proofread it on Twitter and I sent it in and it was posted. A few hours later, the post was taken down and I was blocked on this account, and the mod who I was in contact with also blocked me on Twitter. There was no explanation and I'm really not sure what I did or why I was blocked? But I was just looking for an rp and noticed I'm now unblocked on this account. The mod on Twitter still has me blocked and I'm still very confused. I'm not sure what I did wrong or why I was blocked in the first place, or why I'm no longer blocked now. Is there maybe a different mod in charge of this account?

Blog: Oh heck i guess it mustve gotten lost in the mix

(Maybe they didn't read my initial message? I thought maybe they were going to add more information, but no they just left the message at that for 2 hours)

Me: The ad? No it was posted. It was up for hours, and then I was blocked by this account and the mod's twitter account with no explanation or context to why

Blog: Ohh yeah no it was reported that you are an anti and this acct is not for you so we took your stuff down

I was then, again, blocked, and at this point I'm even more confused and baffled than before. I'm not, nor have I ever been, an anti. I have literally no idea why they might've thought I was one, and I couldn't ask because they blocked me. At this point this is driving me nuts and I've been stressed out and frustrated about this for months. No one is listening or talking to me, I'm just being ignored and I don't understand why, so at this point I'm not going to let it go.

I logged onto my old Tumblr account from years ago and messaged the blog again saying that I'm not an anti and don't understand what happened or why they think I was, I'm trying to be understanding and non-abrasive but I don't understand how this even happens and why the mods would handle a situation like this. I also went onto an alt and contacted the mod on Twitter. At this point Elon Musk has removed the ability to DM someone you are not mutuals with, so this entire Twitter conversation is happening in the public replies of one of her tweets. (The Tumblr account never responded to my message)

Me: Hi, I know this may be inappropriate to message you on an alt, but you didn't give me a chance to explain before you blocked me again. I'm not an anti. I don't understand why you think I am or who told you I was, or what I possibly did to indicate to you that I was an anti.

Mod (responding immediately. This mod has consistently been replying basically immediately): Hi i have been told you have been blackmailing people and telling them that youre going to post callouts about them writing incest and underage if they dont write these things with you and that you evaded server bans on discord for the same reasons

Me: Okay, I have never done any of those things, so could you please expand on who said I did these things and what evidence they provided of that claim?

(A day goes by, no answer)

Me: I'm not sure if you're busy, if so understandable, or just not responding to me, but I'd really like to talk to someone and try and figure this out because I don't understand what was happening. Did someone say it was my account? Or was there an assumption that I'm associated with another account that did these things? I'm sorry for being so persistent about this I just was really excited about joining this fandom and really don't want to get blacklisted from it for something I didn't do and no one is talking to me about it

Mod, Immediately : I messaged the person that reported you to see if they have anything to chime in about this maybe being a case of mistaken identity. please be patient.

Me: Okay, no worries. Thank you

Me: No rush to respond to this but I forgot to mention that if it would be helpful to provide my main account and ao3 and anything else, let me know, I would just prefer to do it in DMs

Mod: I'm waiting for the other person to get back to me right now i will let you know if i need anything further from you <3

(4 days go by, nothing. So they're not asking for my word on the situation, they're not looking at the active JayTim Twitter account I've been running for months, there's absolutely nothing I can do and no one seems willing to have a conversation with me about what happens, it's all just waiting on this mystery person to add context.)

Me: Hi there! It's been 4 days so I was just wondering if there were any updates on the situation?

Mod: I've gotten into contact with the person who reported you and they said they would look for the screenshots when they had a chance

(So, they didn't already have screenshots? From what I can tell, someone told them I was an anti, and the mods felt no need to actually verify that? And just blocked me and blacklisted me from everything, no questions asked, even though I have nothing to do with whatever I'm being accused of and no idea what's happening.

A week goes by. Nothing)

Me: Hi there, it's been a week, has that person managed to send you the screenshots yet?

The mod hasn't responded to that message, it's been two days. I'm trying to be patient and understanding but I'm so sick and tired of being ostracized, blocked, banned, and ignored for something I had nothing to do with. The information I've copy pasted in this message is all I've been told, I don't know anything else about whats going on or how this happened. I'm just so frustrated because I was so happy about the idea of joining a new fandom and making new friends, and now suddenly I'm seemingly blacklisted from the entire BatFam rp community for reasons no one is even actually telling me.

The most I can tell so far is just that someone said "hey that person is an anti" and despite having no evidence to back that up, the mods just decided to kick me out of everything and tell everyone I'm an anti?

I'm not sure that anyone is actually going to read this, both because I have one follower and also because this is a long post, I guess I partly just wanted to type it all out, and also just wanted to tell my side of the story because it stresses me out so much every time I think about it. And I was talking to that Discord mod about how stressed and confused I was when I got blocked the first time but still, no one thought to take a second look? No one thought to give any amount of context or even talk to me?

If anyone knows anyone who could help me with this situation, that would be greatly appreciated. Also if anyone knows a good place to find more JayTim fans or people to RP with, I could really use some new friends right about now. This is a side blog so I can't follow back or comment, but feel free to send me a DM or an ask!

Edit: there is an update to this post. It is.... a lot. Here's the link

#proship #jaytim #proship rp #jaytim rp

[bibibbon]

Thanks for answering my ask....If you don't mind me asking (again), can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....

My top 7 favourite media in general actually ends up fluctuating a lot considering that I tend to hyperfixate on one thing and then kinda get a bit lazy and go and try and find something else to hyperfixate on. 

It will be really hard to rank this so Iam just gonna tell you my top 10 in no particular order (again) sorry about that. 

Currently Iam hyperfixating on Jujutsu kaisen I really love the premise of the story and how it's built in this way where the story just repeats itself in different ways. It kinda sends the message of history always repeats itself and if it doesn't it will rhyme in a twisted way. I also love the way gege handles the themes of the story. However, I do think the story has a lot of wasted potential especially centering around themes of misogyny and just female characters in general. 

There is also MHA. I think it has a whole lot of wasted potential as seen when I talk about in my blog I have kinda became a hater on what the manga contains because I feel like it could of been better and we could of had so much more in general but we just don't it's a big let down for me but I love seeing peoples view on the manga and how people would rewrite the series or different aspects in general. 

I also like attack on titan. Yes I do like the ending of attack on titan (controversial but yeah 🤷‍♀️) I think isayama made a great choice in ending the series the way he did. I think the seires follows the idea of history repeats itself especially if people forget history and I love the way he depicted erens character how Eren is both a selfish and selfless fool at the same time. The interactions between the younger and older generation of characters for example Armin and Erwin parallels/contrasts are really interesting. I also love how both Keith and magath were just two sides of the same coin fighting something bigger then them both and both dying together back in the ship felt like a decent conclusion to both their characters. 

Violet evergarden is a great series where the main protagonist has to learn love, the different types of love and how to love. I loved how each episode had its own story that made it very unique and the animation style is flawless. I do have my own problems with the ending especially with violet and Gilbert's relationship (the way they met and the 9year age gap isn't doing it for me) I think the series should of simply ended with violet learning self love and acceptance. 

Avatar the last airbender is a masterpiece of a kids show. The themes it tackles like survivors guilt, imperialism and genocide I think it handles them very well. However, I do have a problem with the way they handled aangs character in book 3 and how they tried and failed to handle the theme of sexaul assault. Katara's character was also done very dirty I wish she accepted bloodbending but understood how it can be helpful and dangerous at the same time. Considering I watched with my sister it does have a special place in my heart and I love the content the fandom creates. 

Percy Jackson was like one of the first books that got me into reading and greek mythology. I love the series from what I remember reading I absolutely love the parallels the series has, how it actually battled certain issues, how it has a perfect balance with humour and seriousness in the books and so much more. I also love the irony that rick puts latter in the hero of Olympus books how every child of the big 3 ends up being scared of their own element is a great touch or the focus on fatal flaws is very interesting how one thing can be your downfall even if it's something good like loyalty. To be honest I always found annabeth and Luke's relationship in the books to be very weird especially with how Luke is 21 and annabeth was like 12 so Iam glad that rick chose to change it when it came to writing the live action. 

Purple hyacinth. Oh if I had to recommend anyone to read a webtoon this is the one that I would recommend. I absolutely love all of the characters and the character development there is. The series concept is amazing ( I don't wanna spoil it so I won't say much) and I love how there is music that goes with the chapters you read, it's just amazing. I hope we get a new chapter soon considering that the author is still on hiatus due to some health issues. 

#mha #MHA #purple hyacinth #attack on titan #avatar the last airbender #violet evergarden #Jujutsu kaisen #ask #anon ask #thank you for the ask #percy jacskon

[eldritch-collective]

[image id: a looping gif of Rain World Gourmand performing a power jump by throwing a spear and rock to get from the right ledge to the left ledge, almost backflipping in the process. end of id.]

Hello there! I wanted to make an anonymous MOGAI and LIOM blog to post stuff whenever I want to and maybe take some requests if I like it a lot!

My pseudo name is Service! If you'd like my pronouns, I use He/They/It/Angel and many other pronouns in general! I am physically and mentally disabled, neurodivergent, and plural. My spoons fluctuate due to being a systemmate within a very active system.

Stuff I'm likely to make for myself are pronouns, genders, plural terms, modifer terms, and bases for edits! I enjoy coining, flag designing, icons, emoji edits, and likely other stuff for requests! So that's likely what I end up posting most! I am completely open to whatever SFW to Suggestive and Graphic range in terms of requests and will properly tag. More info below! Feel free to promo!

Let me know if you wish to be untagged! @neopronouns @narcette @genderstarbucks @sugar-and-vice-mogai

I specialise in Fandom, Spiritual, Philosophical, Music, and more terms. I mostly focus on fandom and other special interests and hyperfixations. However, I love doing brutal and bloody terms, flags, and edits!

I have permission to do Traitians, Claseans, Damascean, and Voxus terms made by @flagmeanew (18+), as the mods have said the blog is now inactive.

My tags will be literal (i.e. flags will be labeled as flags) and I will provide image id's! If my id's are not sufficient enough, please let me know! My non-content tag will be "service.exe" and asks tag will be "askservice.exe".

I hold my judgement for the most part with requests, but I will lay out what I won't do! I refuse to do IRL people, Illegal and Unsafe content, Unsanitary, Known Trans/Homo/Queerphobic or other generally Hateful Creator Media, Potentially Dangerous or Harmful terms, and anything I personally do not experience (such as I am white and will not feel comfortable coining terms involving race).

If I decline a request, I'll post it for others to do! If I delete and do not post your request, it is likely because it's triggering for me or not appropriate for my blog.

My goal is to be as open as possible on this blog. Such as I reclaim slurs associated with my experiences. However, I am willing to listen and right my wrongs. I will post possibly triggering media, so please be sure to have any fandom or other media tags blocked already as I will be using fandom tags like "(fandom)" or "(content) tw" after the primary tags.

How I coin is that I often use my own heritage and culture that I grew up with! I usually use a mixture of Latin, Gaelic, and Nordic roots. I can technically do ones that are not ones I'm personally familiar with, but please include the roots you have in mind if you want me to use a different root!

Short QNA-ish to give more basic information: 1. This is a real blog. I am not trolling, making satire, nor creating this to fake my experiences. This is genuine and meant for fun for myself in self expression. 2. I do everything on desktop and use Clip Studio Paint EX, but a good free alternative is GIMP. 3. I may or may not queue as I post immediately after done sometimes or just queue it up when I have multiple ideas. 4. Since I'm sorta new to the community in regards to creating, I will be slow with responding since I have day-to-day things to take care of. 5. I do not have an explicit list for refusals in requests, so please be respectful if I do not do your request. I simply just want to create without restrictions on myself. 6. I do not have a DNI, but I will block if I find you to make me uncomfortable or are found to be against my boundaries. 7. I am okay with my terms being posted on Wikis, just provide credit and link back to me! 8. Spam likes and reblogs are fine! 9. I am all for systems of different origins (such as endogenic and more), mspec people, and have a lot of positive opinions about the communities I wish to participate in, even if not always active! I refuse to be exclusionary without good reason (i.e. I will believe in good faith first and foremost). 10. If I mistag something or you need a tag added, please let me know! I'll correct it as soon as I can! (This goes for incorrect, incomplete, or missing image id's as well!) 11. Gif on this post is from Rain World's Miraheze Wiki on Gourmand's wiki page. Icon is the second fight form of Gabriel from ULTRAKILL on the simplified Breathknightclasean flag. Header and Blog backgrounds are gifs made by industrial---complex on Tumblr. 12. This can and WILL update as time goes on since I am still learning the environment of the community due to having been inactive personally with the community.

#mogai #liom #kinfolk #plural #therian #system #alterhuman #nonhuman #otherkin #service.exe