#will do my best to get part 0-3 up before next weekend

[matchlocksunflowers]

[APOLOGIES FOR THE DELAY- check end notes for explanations- example images should be coming in future edits]

alright, another week has passed, another anatomy class was attended. this one was actually a lot more vague than the previous, with a lot of notions previously mentioned coming back in a way or another, and based itself a lot on showcasing examples. i wasn’t able to take that many “concrete” notes this time unfortunately, but i can still distill what i have written down. 

anyway. here goes: 

SCENE O-2: BLOCKING IN SHAPES

repeating once, when in front of your support of choice, whether it be a sheet of paper, your sketchbook or a digital canvas (or anything, really), there is a certain series of events leading to the existence of a drawing. these events are influenced by our own personal methods when drawing, such as how you start, what do you always draw first, etc. often these are patterns you follow without noticing. 

once you’ve noticed your own patterns, you may start to question them. if you always start by drawing the head, ask yourself, why do you do that? 

these may come from a more subconscient part of yourself. maybe that’s how you’ve always done it, maybe you saw an artist you love do it once and that affected you so much you now do it too. 

an interesting exercise you may want to do to try and break away from these habits is starting to look at the world through different filters of perception (as mentioned in the previous post). teach gave us the example of looking at strangers in the commute with a single point of view: only focusing on their ears, their nose, maybe look at them like colored shapes. (if you do not commute/use a public transports system regularly, i suggest you try looking for references online, whether they be youtube videos or life model sites like quickposes or lineofaction. these two will be linked below.) 

but, in any case, during this class (the one i am attending, i mean), there is one big first step which is: drawing the whole model in its simplest form. 

usually, when doing just that, there are twoe factors to keep in mind: 

Composition

Setting things up

to start, let’s talk about composition. 

when composing an image, yet again, you have to think about certain factors (subfactors of factors! wow!). these generally are: 

the 2D-3D perception of your drawing

knowing how and where to place your drawing within your canvas

negative spaces and the void 

when drawing in structures (aka using inner “skeleton” lines at the very start) the drawing itself is existing only within a single dimension (1D). when drawing using “shapes” (aka at least three points connected to each other) the drawing transforms to become 2D. 2d adds a dimension of “thickness” to the piece, since you’ve now added a new dimension. 

seeing the world in 2d is similar to seeing it like certain painters do: with the aforementioned “shapes” now colored flat, before starting to add in lights. 

when drawing, proportion checking is actually done in 2D, and not in 3D (as you might, maybe think). think of it as very simple forms bound by lines. adding in volume is a very risky move, since it adds the notion of distance (“what is closer/what is farther away”), which can be too detailed for the simple block-in stage.

when thinking about this, you should also think about where you place your drawing within your canvas. when you are drawing, you are composing an image. drawing a character close up and standing in the bottom right corner of the page gives a whole other impression than if you were drawing it small, in the middle of the page. 

when creating images, these images usually have a meaning, and this whole meaning and wanted feeling you want to transmit is heavily affected by composition. 

when a more “academic” artist first thinks and thumbnails their piece, they may think “where will i place the horizon line?” which in itself is the very first step of composing your drawing. 

the way you place your horizon line gives away most, if not all of your intentions with this piece.

finally, “void” and “negative spaces” in a drawing are part of what makes it legible and interesting. it is heavily tied to the concept of “silhouette”, and, with good placement within the canvas, adds a lot to the piece. but when drawing a model, these “negative spaces” are here to help you draw the correct proportions: the triangle formed by the arm and elbow when a hand is placed on a hip, the space between legs when the model is standing up, all this should be taken into account when drawing. 

but, when drawing, you should pretty much mostly worry about drawing the “general shape” of the model, but accurately, as always, which in turn transforms into a general view of your drawing. in terms of additional things you may want to do when thinking about the composition and proportions of your drawing, you can always

 try drawing “over” your model (simply put, hold your pencil over the model while trying to see important lines to draw, whether they be action lines or countour lines)

thumbnail your drawings using your fingers (putting them in a square shape framing the part you want to draw) or a template (like a card that’s been gutted to form a thumbnail viewer)

if you want to transfer your drawing to another surface, you can trace a grid over the sketch and use it as a guideline for the transferred piece (this technique is called “mise au carreau” in French and i cannot for the life of me find the english term, i’m afraid). this is a technique that’s been used since pretty much the beginning of “western fine arts” (aka stuff from the Renaissance era).

now, let’s get to the meat and potatoes: 

setting up your drawing

when setting up your drawing, the ideal should be to do so with as little lines as you can. this can prove especially hard, especially when drawing a model from life. 

what you can do is stop seeing the model’s body as a body, and more as a series of geometric shapes set one next to the other. (this does sound fairly dehumanizing, but don’t be afraid! the humanity should still exist within the shapes you draw, and will appear even more once the proportions are corrected and the details are added in.) the moment you add another line, you are adding in measures, proportions, and direction to your drawing. 

your base should have a limited number of lines, but, as always, they should be proportionally accurate. 

“i am simplifying and always checking my shapes”, pretty much.

(i think i am going to make you hate the concept of proportional accuracy with all the emphasis i put onto it… sorry!) 

a small tip when drawing these shapes: draw them lightly! the block-in should ideally be very light for the later parts to be drawn with more force. (teach compared it to an architect’s plan, but i yet again cannot attest to the validity of this claim as i completely lost interest in architecture the moment i found out about Bravely Default and how cool the Job designs were. anyway,)

alright, so the rest of my notes are mostly about “mistakes you should avoid”, and given this is coming from only one person, whose ideas are being transferred by another (who is obviously much less skilled) to a post to be seen by others, you can see that this can rapidly become an opinion-piece about “what is good in drawing and what is wrong” (you know, kinda like youtube thumbnails with two drawings, one “bad” and one “good” posted by certain art youtubers…you know what i mean, right?) 

so, i am going to share them, but do keep in mind that these are even more subjective than anything written before, so, as always, take them with a spoonful of salt. 

so, these are: 

drawing using very short lines, the kind that makes for a “hairy” looking drawing

pushing too hard on your pencil (see the paragraphs above for reasons, with the added reason of being really hard to erase afterwards and often leaving a dark mark after having been erased the best possible)

relying solely on lines for proportions, aka using one line as a reference, then adding up more lines until you think you are done, which nets you the risk of having a badly proportioned drawing by the end. (this is something weirdly common when drawing as a whole, but that especially shines when drawing architecture, in my own experience both drawing and looking at my classmates’ drawings). 

fuzzy/blurry lines, which can strip the drawing of precision, adding noise where it isn’t needed. this doesn’t really apply if you only draw over the line only a couple of times, or  is rather moderate, doing so has its own name in French which is a “repentir” (masculine word, i wonder if there is an English equivalent. “repentir”, aka repenting your other line with a more accurate one. “repent motherfucker!” )

a final note that i think is worth sharing is this one: 

there is a whole system of proportional setups, multiple methods, but the more important thing is

i understand what i am doing

well, that should be about it for this week (or rather last saturday, oops). for some reason i have gotten exhausted these last handful of days, and i don’t even know thanks to what god i was able to wake up to attend class this week. it was only the second, too!! really would’ve been upsetting if i couldn’t have attended. but it didn’t happen, fortunately. next week should be about correcting your mistakes and proportions. 

and, just like last time, all these notes are from a class by Mr. Francis Buchet i am attending to at the Académie de la Grande Chaumière. if you live close to/in Paris, i suggest you look up what classes he is going to be teaching, as a live class is always a lot better than simple notes written down by a student. 

and, may i remind you (again): these notes are only here to showcase one approach among many others, so they don’t mean much in the grand scheme of things. i myself am in absolutely no way a professional, so please, take all of this with a grain of salt (or a spoonful, even). draw how you enjoy drawing, and find happiness in the way you want to draw.

Francis Buchet's instagram: x

[NOTE: this was written last weekend, in the hopes of being posted during a weekday with some added visual examples, but due to school as well as health related issues (physical exhaustion among others) i couldn't get to draw said examples in time, so i decided to just go ahead and post it without any and add them later via edits. is this a good idea? no, but i do not think i can give good examples when my shoulders feel like they'll drop from my torso. i cannot say when part 0-3 will be posted but i hope it will be quick. exhaustion is a bitch but i hope i can still manage eventually.]

#art tips #artist tips #art tutorial #art help #drawing tips #wow this ended up being even less concrete than the last one #ooooooh the magic of basing yourself off examples #teach mostly showed us Klimt; Egon Schiele and Degas as well as a bit of Sargent #i still apologize for the lack of personal handmade examples #and the huge delay #breating feels more difficult than it ought to sometimes yknow? #ah well #will do my best to get part 0-3 up before next weekend #no promises tho. sorry

[hoe4sports]

Take care of Clara

Jessie Fleming x Reader

A/N: Mentions of car accidents and death, anxiety . This was supposed to be one part but it ended up being so long.

Summary: An unplanned meeting between your daughter and Jessie ends up with your daughter as the mascot. But your daughter has anxiety, and it’s about to break lose.

“Mmm, Jess, the door” you mumbled half asleep as you and your girlfriend Jessie was snoozing in bed a Saturday morning. Your head pounding from the dehydration. Jessie had the weekend off, and you had decided to have a date night with a few homemade cocktails. A few being closer to 10, but that was beside the point.

*DUNK, DUNK, DUNK*

“JESSIE, the door!!” You yelled as you kicked a half asleep Jessie out of bed. It was her apartment after all, and you had only been dating for 10 months. It was a good 10 months. You had gone on a few weekend trips together doing anything from hiking to going to the beach. It was nice, it was casually which was obvious considering you had been best friends for well over 10 years. Practically growing up hand in hand until you moved away as a kid, and since the world wasn’t very online back then; you lost contact. Things had changed when you had went to a friends dinner party and you had found your designated seat next to a name card that said “Jessie”. When she sat down, you couldn’t believe it. You instantly clicked as you talked all through the night, not talking to anyone else. That night you walked home together and exchanged phone numbers, immediately feeling like back in the days when you would bike around in your neighbourhood and Jessie would be giggling beside you. At first the friendship was platonic, but after a few months of talking and hanging out, you had drunkenly admitted to liking her and when she asked you about it the next morning; there was no room for refusal.

“Oh my god, hold you will ya” Jessie said under her breath as she was jumping on one leg to get her shorts on. She was about to run out to the door when you shot her a look. “Jess, look, I like your tits; they are mine and I would like it to stay that way” you said as you gestured down; she had forgotten to put on a top. She blushed to the color of a tomato and sweared under her breath as she threw on your tank top from last nights fun. As she walked out to sort out whatever was going on, you grabbed your phone. All of out battery, of course. Luckily Jessie had made sure to have a charger at your side of the bed too so you could have access to charging whenever you needed; especially considering you would struggle with sleep. Technically it was her bed, but the side was also technically yours since that was where you’d sleep when you stayed over just like the right side was always her side when she was staying over at yours. You placed down your phone in exchange for a water bottle that Jessie had gotten for you after you had finished your nightly activities. The water was still somewhat cold and it felt soothing going down your sore throat. “Ehm, Y/N/N!” You heard from the front door. “This is all you babe!” You shouted back as you giggled, jumping a little when your phone was finally turning on. Her apartment, her neighbour, her issues. You suddenly stopped dead in your tracks. It was weird, you could swear that you heard a tiny voice. You shook it off and tapped in the code of your SIM card. 3-0-0-1. Then you heard the voice again, slightly concerned as you held your breath trying to figure out what was going on. “I really think this is something that you might wanna sort out, I would love to but I haven’t really met her because you wanted to make sure that we-“ Jessie rambled as you heard her footsteps closing in on the bedroom door. But she was cut off by small sobs and it struck you like lightning. You could recognise those cries a mile away, as they belonged to your Daughter, Clara.

Clara was extremely shy, and was in treatment working to overcome her biggest fear before it could develop into something worse. The only place she didn’t feel shy outside of your home was in when she as playing football. That was where she could let everything go and just play. You has gained guardianship over her when your sister and her husband had tragically passed away during a high speed car accident when Clara was just a baby. You had been the only motherly figure that she’d know since she was 6 months old. Your parents were able to take her as they were getting older and had their own health issues, so you decided there was no other choice but to adopt her honouring your sister’s wishes. Jessie barged in and you could see the panic in her eyes. You’d probably also panic if it wasn’t for the raging headache you had going on in the background. You quickly jumped out of the bed and threw on your shorts and Jessie’s UCLA sweater before you bolted towards the door. There she was, your bestfriend with your little daughter clinging on to her leg. “Mommy” she sobbed as you reached your arms towards her while still walking towards the front door as your daughter ran into your arms clinging to you as if the world was ending. Clara wasn’t good with changes in plans, especially not when the plans was something she had looked forward to. “Hi Ella, what’s uh, sorry, why are you here again?” You asked confused as you had already planned for her and Clara to spend the weekend together while you were with Jessie. You hoisted your daughter up on your hips causing her to relax and lean into your side while placing a hand on your neck. You kissed her head as you held her tight and whispered; “Hi princess, it’s okay, mommy’s got you. You are safe.” The words causing her sobbing to soften. “Hi Y/N, I am so sorry but my brother has gotten into an accident and it’s bad so mom asked me to catch the first flight home. I tried calling you, but I could get through and you weren’t at home, so I had no option but to bring her here or take her with me to Wisconsin which I could but I don’t have her passport.” She said as she had a serious grin on her face. “Oh my god, I’m sorry for not answering. My phone was dead. It’s all good, go be with your family. Tell your mom that I’m seeing her love” you said as she nodded and handed you her little pink backpack with her pink Nike cleats in before running towards the taxi waiting to take her to the airport. You sat your daughter down in Jessie’s couch as your pulled her comfort blanket out of her bag to wrap around her before turning her favourite show on the iPad in hopes that it would distract her enough to let you pack.

Your thoughts raced in sync with your heart as you paced to the bedroom to pick up your stuff in an instant terrified of what Jessie would say. She looked terrified when she came to tell you that your daughter was there, and you knew that it wasn’t the right time. Jessie wouldn’t want to waste her weekend on a kid, let alone a kid that wasn’t hers when she only had a few limited weekends of each year. Clara was also a lot more demanding than your standard kid which meant that it was harder for others to connect with her. There was this tiny voice in your head that were trying to convince you that Jessie would think Clara was too much. This exact thing had happened before and it left both you and your daughter heartbroken when they left because Clara was too much. That day you vowed yourself to never let anyone close to your daughter again. It had worked perfectly until you met Jessie.

You grabbed your bag as you scattered around the room to find all your belongings before Jessie could come out from the en-suite. “Love, what’s going on?” A familiar voice said from behind you making you jump but immediately relax when you felt the warmth of her hands on your waist. “It’s was Ella, she had to go to Wisconsin because her brother was in an accident. So I need to take care of Clara. This has been nice and all but we shouldn’t be bothering you on your weekend off.” You mumbled as you could feel tears burning behind your eyelid while you got out of her grip to find your last missing items. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, I can pretend to be your friend if that makes it easier?” Jessie said as she pulled you into a hug and wrapped her arms around you as if she was a baby koala. “I have told you about how Clara is? She’s very shy, anxious and have big issues with talking to people. I get that she’s challenging, but she’s a good kid. I get-“ your rambling was cut off by Jessie. “If you let me, I’ll gladly spent time with the both of you today darling” she finished as you nodded and a tear rolled down your chin in relief.

“Clara?” You said carefully as you walked towards her making sure not to scare her. She looked up at you and nodded, feeling shy of the unfamiliar house around her. “Mommy, home?” She said with tears in her eyes scared of why she wasn’t home. She didn’t really feel safe in new places, let alone places you couldn’t prepare her for like the psychologist had advised you to. You sat down next to her as you tucked her long brown hair behind her ear making her little earrings show. Earrings she had begged you for since she could talk. “We are not home, that’s right. We are at Jessie’s house. Jessie is mommy’s friend.” You said as you took her into your lap while Jessie sat down next to you. “Do you wanna say hi to Jessie?” You asked as she shoved her head into your sweater and shook her head. You shot an apologetic smile to Jessie, but she mounthed “it’s okay” to you.

—

“Pass it Kiera!” Clara yelled as she ran across with the ball on the field outrunning all the other little girls. «I honestly don’t know where she gets it from, you know. She’s fast and she is very mature.” You said as your eyes watched over your daughter with the bright pink shoes and the bright pink shirt. “She’s a natural, way better than I was her age” Jessie said as she rested her hand on your thigh. In this moment, everything felt perfect. It felt like you were normal. Like any other girl with her partner and their daughter. “Hello miss Y/N, did you finally bring Clara’s mom? Gosh, they look so much alike! I could’ve spotted their bond from a mile away.” Another football mom exclaimed as she sat down. Sure, your daughter had chocolate brown hair and the same warm deep brown eyes as Jessie, but you had never considered their similarities. When you compared them, they were spitting imagine. You had blonde hair and blue eyes just like your sister, qnd none of you had anything close to athletic skills. Your little girl however? She had a gift, a talent and a drive to play. “Something like that, yes” Jessie said as you snapped out of your thoughts. You realised that you forgot to answer the other mom. Crap. Jessie squeezed your hand as you relaxed. “Well, Miss?” The mom continued. “Jessie” your girlfriend said as she smiled towards the woman. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Jessie.”

*4 months later*

You were walking along on the sidewalk with Clara in one hand as you were headed to the park to meet Jessie. She had met your daughter a bunch of times, and it was definitely a process as Clara still refused to talk to Jessie. The issue wasn’t that she didn’t like her, because she did. But she couldn’t get out a word whenever she tried. Jessie on the other hand wasn’t bothered the slightest. She’d talk to Clara, but not expected any response which was making Clara feel safe. “Look princess, it’s Jessie” you said as you pointed towards the Canadian. She looked in the direction and gripped your hand while her feet were shuffling next to you. “What’s in her hand, mom?” She said almost soundlessly as she noticed the gift in Jessie’s hand. “I don’t know, I’ll have to ask her when we get there.” A few minutes later, you were 10 steps from meeting Jessie. Jessie hunched down to be in Clara’s level as you approached. “Hi doll, I got you something!” Jessie said excitedly as Clara’s eyes widened. The box was pink and sparkling with a silver glitter bow on top. Jessie held out the box as Clara held your hand tight. “Do you want me to open the box so you can see what is inside?” Jessie continued patiently as your daughter nodded excitedly. Jessie’s hand pulled the top part of the bow towards Clara and she gestured for her to pull it. Clara’s little hand was still shaky, but she touched the bow as she pulled carefully. “Wow Clara, you are such a smart girl!” Jessie said as she removed the rest of the bow and opened the lid of the box before she held the box out in front of your daughter. Clara peeked into the box and gasped as she covered her mouth with her hand. Her face moved towards you as her eyes were sparkling. Jessie pulled out the gift revealing the tiny little Chelsea jersey with “Fleming” on the back. “See Clara, it has my last name and my number so we can match!” Jessie explained as she flipped the jersey around with a toothy grin. Clara was in awe and her eyes were lit up. It made you melt and it didn’t help when your daughter dropped your hand as she embraced Jessie into a hug. Jessie looked as surprised as you before she carefully wrapped her hand around Clara while the other hand touched her head. Clara pulled away from the hug smiling as she beamed and did a few more excited jumps. “Do you want to try it on?” Jessie asked as Clara instantly nodded. “Can I help you?” Jessie asked as bit hesitant as she feared that she had pushed her too far. Clara took a moment to make up her mind before she nodded and let go of your hand. Her arms reached out as Jessie slipped it over her head. “Maybe you can wear it when you come to see me play on Sunday?” Jessie asked as Clara’s eyes lit up. She had always talked about how she wanted to see Jessie play football on the big field, not just in your backyard. However, she made sure to only tell you. Clara’s gaze shifted towards you as she sent you her best please look without using words. “Yes Clara, we can go watch Jessie play on Sunday.” You confirmed as Clara jumped up and down once again attacking Jessie into a hug causing Jessie to lose her balance and fall to her back from the squat position she was in with Clara giggling on top of her.

*The following Sunday*

“Alright Claramell” you said as you sung her nickname. You had made it up as she loved caramels as a baby. She looked up at your from her little drawing table where she was busy drawing and colouring. “We have to put our jersey on when the timer ends” you said as you stated the timer so she could feel in control and make things easier for everyone included. “Mommy, will Jessie be there?” She asked as she looked up at your with her chocolate labrador eyes. “Yes, Jessie will definitely be there. She is gonna play, and we are gonna watch her! And if you want to, you can walk with her on the field with the other kids like we talked about. That means that you can walk out to the middle of the field with the other team and judges holding Jessie’s hand and then the teams sing. After that, you run back to the tunnel.” Clara nodded as she turned around to keep drawing again drawing as precisely as her hands would allow her. “Okay, Claramell, I’m just gonna get ready in the bathroom” you said as you pressed a kiss to her head and breathed in the balsamspray in her hair.

You got to the bathroom, and hopped in the shower. Your thoughts were quickly wandering around what would happen with Clara on the field. You had told her countless times that she didn’t have to do it, and that she could say no whenever she liked; but once she got in the field, she had to stay with Jessie. All kinds of scenarios took place in your head. The biggest worry of them all would be a full blown panic attack mid stadium in front of thousands of people not being able to get to your little girl. What would Jessie do if that were to happen? Would she leave you? Clara had yet to open up to her and hadn’t spoken a full sentence to her. The warm water washed your worries away as the damp of the water filled the room making it feel somewhat close to a tropical island. The damp hot air felt soothing in your lungs. After thinking and worrying for a bit, you hopped out and dried yourself off. You rummaged through your drawer and found your favourite mascara, some tinted sunscreen, a sheer lipstick and some blush from nars that you got as a teen. Lord knows that all girls has that one old makeup product that dosent compare, and you were no exception. The makeup made your face come alive before you glanced at the clock and realised that it was time. “Clara! It’s time!” You called out as your heard Clara’s little slippers tap on the floor in your direction. “Okay mommy, a bun with long hair” she said as she popped up into the sink in front of her, it was basically routine by now. She would come in and you would do her hair in whatever way she wanted it. Today was a half up half down kinda day, and you were softly brushing through her beautiful brown hair. “Mommy,Jess gonna be there?” She asked as she looked at herself in the mirror with her little feet in the sink. You nodded as you finished doing her hair. “Yes, Jessie will be there” you confirmed as her little brows furrowed. “Promise?” “Pinky promise.”

*2 hours later*

The stadium was huge compared to Clara. She had her little Fleming Jersey on, and she had insisted to wear her bracelet that she made at home a few weeks ago with pink beads. Clara’s hand tightened around yours as she stared at the stadium and the tons of people going in. She looked up at you with fear in her eyes and a stressed look in her little face. “Mommy, carry?” She whispered as you instantly popped her up in your hip wanting to hold her until she refused to be held anymore. People would always scold you for carrying her, but your sister would’ve carried her until she physically couldn’t and you intended to keep her wish alive. She wasn’t gonna want to be carried until she was a teen, so you wanted to make the most of the time you had with her. You followed the instructions that Jessie had given you, finding the side entrance with guards checking id’s towards a database with invited and pre-register people only. It was fairly quick as there was a significant difference in the amount of people that were at the special entrance.

When you got through the area you followed the signs until you found a room where the mascots were waiting. Clara was intimidated by the amount of children and adults and causing her to cling to you like cling wrap. “You can always say no, and nobody will be upset Claramell” you whispered as she nodded. She had insisted on bringing her pink purse in the shape of a heart with what she said was important things. Usually that would include her fake keys, a lip balm and a snack. After a few minutes, a women came to get you leading you through the big corridors of the gigantic stadium. You were looking at all the tapestry on the walls with pictures of the players in action. “Mommy, mommy, it’s Jess” your daughter whispered as she wiggled out of your arms and bolted towards Jessie. “Is it my two favourite girls coming to see me play? How lucky am I!” Jessie said picking Clara up as she spun her around and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Clara nodded and placed her hand on Jessie’s chest for safety. You greeted Jessie as you had a wide grin on your face from seeing your daughter and your girlfriend together. Jessie held Clara tight and it relaxed you knowing that she was doing what she could to make her feel safe. “Alright, walk on in 2!” A guy with a big headset yelled out in the tunnel. Clara seemed to get somewhat startled of his sudden loud voice. Her little heart beating like crazy in her chest. “Alright, Clara, we are gonna go out there in front of all those people while you hold my hand and then we will sing. Afterwards, you can run to mommy or I can carry you there.” Jessie said as she placed Clara down. Clara nodded attentively as Jessie unzipped her team jacket that Jessie had gotten for the occasion. You bent down and kissed Clara’s cheek as she smiled back at you. You had to go to the back of the line as the players were about to enter which Clara didn’t seem to mind. Her little hand held onto Jessie’s as they both turned around to wave at you. She seems excited, and she seemed like she felt safe with Jessie. Her curious eyes were wandering around the tunnel and towards the opening of it towards the cameras. The loud league music started on the field and the referees started walking on followed by the lot of the players in two lines. Just before Jessie and Clara was supposed to move out, Clara stalled. You could see Clara tensing up. Her little shoulders rising towards her ears. Her head turned towards you and you saw her eyes becoming glassy. Her lip was going from a pout to a wobble. Her eyebrows furrowed in a tense frown. Her chest moving slightly heavier than usual.

Your pulse immediately went up and you felt a need to scoop her up before this escalated. Was this gonna end in yet another breakdown? Would this trigger her anxiety? How were you gonna get a hold of her? And worst of all; was this gonna embarrass Jessie enough to want to end it with you?

#woso imagine #woso x reader #jessie fleming x reader #jessie fleming

[hornyfor-redacted-onmain]

Secret Secret Chapter 4

OT8 Straykids x reader, ABO AU

Masterlist | Part 3 | Part 5

The rest of the week passed by surprisingly easily. You got around to meeting everybody else on the team, and you did your best to remember their names (thankfully most of them were older than you, which allowed you to easily pull the Oppa or Unnie card when you forgot). They were all kind and helpful, and at the worst indifferent to your presence, which allowed you to make it through the week fairly easily.

You were busy with promotional translations and working out the translation for a few videos that would be dropping the next week, so you saw little of the others as you spent most of your time on your computer. Even so, you managed to find some free time to meet up on Friday with Maya, who was swamped with picking out and modifying all the MV outfits that were scheduled for the end of the month.

When she plopped onto her chair with a sigh, you could only give her a sympathetic look. “Hey, you sure you have the time to have coffee with me?”

“I need a break. Believe me, this caffeine hit is the only thing keeping me going right now.”

“Looking forwards to the weekend?” You asked, knowing that she got Saturday and Sunday off.

“Hmm, I’m definitely going to enjoy my weekend,” Maya confirmed, sipping her coffee. “My girlfriend’s birthday is on Sunday, so we’re planning a small party to celebrate. What about you?”

“I think I’m just going to relax at home.”

You still had to come in on Saturday for a quick meeting to confirm the projects you had worked on that week before they were posted, but it would only be for an hour or two, which left the rest of the weekend free. Normally you and Sooyoung would go out, but you weren’t really feeling it, especially after what happened last week.

Maya lifted her head and gave you a soft smile. “Do you want to come to the party?”

“What time is it?”

“We’re planning for noon. A nice little lunch and then just a hang out afterwards. It’s just going to be me and my girlfriend, a few friends, and some coworkers,” Maya said.

You nodded in understanding. “I’ll probably stop by for a bit. Just send me the address.”

Both of you realized the issues immediately after you spoke, and she was pulling out her phone before you could even say you didn’t have her number out loud. The two of you exchanged numbers and had a comfortable conversation for a few minutes to finish your drinks. Your lunch officially ended when Maya received a text. She scowled.

You shared a knowing look. “Duty calls.”

-0-0-

The company building was practically empty this early on a Saturday morning. On the one hand you were mad at having to be awake so early on the weekend, but on the other hand you appreciated them getting this out of the way so you would have the rest of the afternoon free. The guard nodded in greeting to you as you passed to the elevators, and you smiled in return.

The meeting passed by pretty quickly, all things considered. Soojin, Jeonhui, and the head advertisement manager all joined you, along with a couple of other employees, and you went over the promotional material. You felt a little nervous when presenting your work, but nothing seemed out of place, and they quickly moved on to the next person with little to no words.

Maybe somebody else would have been offended by the way they seemed to look past you, but you took comfort in the indifference, knowing that it was the lack of attention that allowed you to be where you were now.

The meeting was over just as the clock struck 11, and Jeonhui wished you a good weekend as you were leaving. A few of the other employees lingered behind to talk with each other, but you weren’t close or comfortable enough to any of them to join them. You just wanted to go home.

The elevator reeked when you opened it.

The smell of spoiled milk and rotten strawberries hit you, and you immediately clamped a hand over your nose. Disappointment, anger, fear. Your omega was immediately on guard, and you felt like your heart had dropped down to your stomach.

“Ugh, what is that scent?”

“Is that … an omega?”

The other employees who had been behind you walked over, and even when the elevator doors closed once again, the air still lingered with the smell of an omega in distress. It made your hackles rise, and you felt the need to find that omega and comfort them, while another part of you wanted to run. An omega in distress usually meant danger.

You swallowed hard.

The female employee wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Gross. What’s an omega even doing in the building to begin with?”

“Probably one of the trainees. They like to come around and practice on weekdays, as if the extra effort changes the fact that they’re an omega’s.” The male employee said, waving his hand in front of his nose. “Disgusting.”

“That’s omegas for you. Think they deserve the world just because they’re so dainty and fragile. Ugh, I can’t stand them. Why does the company even allow omegas to audition anymore?”

“I don’t think they do. Must have just presented.”

“Let’s just take the stairs. I’ll get a cleaner to sterilize the elevator.”

The two employees walked away, either ignorant of or completely unaware of your rapidly changing mood. Their words echoed in your head, and you found your eyes welling up with tears, not self-consciously, but in anger. Anger at the way they talked so callously about another person, most likely a child.

They way they so nonchalantly and openly admitted the prejudice against omegas in the work force. And the way that neither one of them even thought for a second to go looking for that poor omega in need of help.

You weren’t like them.

You took the elevator, stopping on every floor you had access to and sniffing the air from the hallways. One of the upper floors, where the practice rooms could be found, had a lingering scent, but it was faint, which told you the omega had probably come from there.

You then checked the office floors below them, but they were surprisingly empty. Finally, you found yourself on a floor that you had yet to see, but the second the doors opened you knew it was the right one.

It was the studio floor, which held recording studios as well as production studios.

And it reeked.

The scent in the elevator had already begun to dissipate, so the strong smell was a good sign that the omega was still in the area. Why a trainee would be on the studio floor was beyond your knowledge, but you were on a mission. Your own omega snapped her jaws at the thought of the harsh cruel words from your fellow colleagues.

Gross.

Disgusting.

I can’t stand them.

You knew even if you had been a beta those words would have been offensive to you, and the fact that they said it so easily made your skin boil. You were grateful for your own scent blockers because there was no way they wouldn’t have noticed your soured mood otherwise.

You followed the smell past the entrance area, which had a small kitchen area where coffee and snacks were available, for those who didn’t want to go all the way down to the cafeteria. Or, part of you considered, for those who stayed late enough that the cafeteria would be closed. You thought of Chan, the way the other staff members warned you to keep an eye on him.

‘He’s a workaholic,’ One translator had mentioned in passing. ‘It’s admirable, if not a little stupid.’

Thinking of the alpha made your chest ache.

It felt almost fitting that the farther down the hall you went, in the opposite direction from the recording studios and instead towards a series of locked and labeled doors, when you realized where exactly the scent was leading you. Nearly at the end of the hall, you found a door labeled ‘3racha’.

The door was closed, but the scent told you there was someone inside.

You felt most of your anger dissipating.

On the one hand, you found yourself almost relieved. If there was anybody that you had gotten to know in this past week that you would trust with a distressed omega, it was Chan. He had 2 omegas on his team. He was a comforting figure. And above all else, he was a good man. You trusted him to have the situation handled, and to provide the compassion necessary for the situation.

But on the other hand, your omega refused to leave without making sure that the other was okay. It was survival mentality, the need to stick together, especially in a world like this that would so easily shove the weak and underappreciated away.

But checking in on the other omega would mean having to confront Chan, and you weren’t ready to have to deal with him just yet. You couldn’t look him in the eye without your omega’s want bubbling up, and this close to the surface, you wouldn’t be able to suppress it.

You didn’t really get to make your decision before the door opened, and you startled, legs tensing as you considered running.

A young girl who couldn’t be older than 15 nearly smacked right into you, and she quickly raised her wide-eyed gaze to meet with your own, mouth opening in shock and her scent hitting you with a burst of surprise. Strawberries and milk, sweet and pleasant despite the worry that it conveyed.

“Oh, I- Sorry!” She bowed so low that her hair flipped over her head, the strands hitting you in the face. And then she realized what had happened, lifting her head up with a gasp. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to- are you okay?”

You raised your hands to show her you meant no harm.

“Hey, it’s okay, no need to apologize.” You eyed her tear-stained cheeks. “Are you okay?”

She dropped her gaze. “I’m fine. Thank you.”

You wanted to pull her into a hug. You had to remind yourself she didn’t know you, and that would be weird.

‘It wouldn’t be weird if she knew you were an omega’ your own omega grumbled in your head.

You ignored her.

“You should go home, Jisoo. Your parents will get worried,” A voice said from behind the girl, and your eyes snapped up. “Don’t worry about today. Everything will be okay.”

“Thank you, Oppa.” Jisoo gave you a weary look, but bowed to you nonetheless. “Have a nice day, Unnie.”

“Get home safe,” You answered back, and her shoulders relaxed slightly.

You both watched Jisoo make her way down the hall, the newly presented omega now calmer and safe. Your omega settled at the confirmation, and you felt your energy level drop, prompting you to press your hand against your forehead and close your eyes to let out a huge sigh.

“You know, I think you’re the last person I expected to find on this floor,” Changbin mused.

When you opened your eyes, you saw the beta watching you with a curious look, and you winced. Now that you had calmed down and everything was okay, you realized your behavior might have seemed erratic and confusing to anyone who wasn’t aware of your true presentation. Which Changbin was not.

You suddenly wished that it had been Chan inside the studio instead.

“There was a distressed scent in the elevators, and I … was worried,” You explained, trying to make yourself sound nonchalant. “I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

He pushed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, eyes drifting from your figure to the wall behind you. “Well, it’s a pretty shitty situation, I can’t lie.”

“I heard the company isn’t allowing omega trainee’s anymore.”

“Yeah, they made the decision last year.” Changbin shook his head. “She’s devastated. I calmed her down, told her I would try to figure something out, but ….”

He trailed off, a frown pulling at his mouth. You couldn’t smell him, his sweater doing a good job of hiding most of his scent from you, but you could tell just by his body language that he was angry. You felt a sense of reassurance at that.

Maybe Chan wasn’t the only best option for this situation.

“Are you two close?” You wondered, thinking about the direct path Jisoo had made from the practice rooms. “She headed straight here once she realized what was going on.”

“Were not particularly close, but Chan has told the trainees multiple times that if they ever need anything, they can come to us for help. I just happened to be the one here today.”

You nodded. “They look up to you guys, don’t they?”

“I think all trainee’s look up to idols,” Changbin said, running his hand through his hair. “I kind of wish Chan had been here instead. Or maybe even Jisung. I’m not sure how much I helped her.”

“I think you did a good job. She didn’t smell distressed anymore,” You reassured him.

Changbin’s eyebrows twitched down for a second, even as he nodded. “Yeah, I guess.”

You both stood there in silence for a few seconds. Eventually, you sighed again.

“Well, I guess I should get going. Umm, I guess have a good weekend,” You said.

“You too.”

When you got to the end of the hall, right before turning the corner, you glanced back. Changbin was still standing at the doorway, watching you with a thoughtful look on his face.

-0-0-

Maya’s girlfriend, Isa, was an amazing cook, and judging by the gleeful look on her face as everyone practically devoured the food, you had a feeling she knew. You practically moaned the moment you took your first bite. A beta you assumed was one of her friends melted in his seat, and then jokingly asked Isa for her hand in marriage.

“You’ll have to fight me for it,” Maya joked.

“Don’t tempt me.”

You giggled, and Isa leaned over her side of the table to smile at you. “How’s the food?”

“I’m normally not the type of person to encourage the birthday girl cooking her own meals, but hot damn. I can see why they put you in charge of the cooking,” You praised.

Isa beamed. “Exactly! That, and Maya burns water.”

“It was one time!”

The rest of the table laughed loudly, and Maya rolled her eyes. The other guests began to converse between themselves, and Isa eyed you with a small smile.

“So, you’re the new translator,” She began, and you paused with your fork an inch from your mouth. You nodded. “How’s it going? Maya tells me you joined at an inconvenient time, what with the tour starting up soon.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Oh? She told you about that?”

“I’m her girlfriend, she tells me everything,” Isa said nonchalantly.

“Everything?”

Isa grinned, leaning closer. “Everything. Maya’s nice and quiet and gets her job done, so sometimes people are very loose lipped when around her. You’d be surprised by the amount of drama that goes on in that fancy building of yours that nobody every hears about.”

“Oh? Like what”

She simply winked. “I’ll tell you later.”

Later turned out to be while you were washing dishes, a task you decided to take up to get away from the room full of alpha pheromones. You knew they weren’t doing it on purpose, since they were under the impression you were a beta and had no way of knowing about your sensitive omega nose, but it was still enough for you to get overwhelmed.

Isa eyed the kitchen door where Maya was with the other guests, and then she was leaning in close to you as she passed by. “Two of the stylists are hooking up.”

“What?!” You nearly dropped the plate you were holding.

“JYP tried to get one of his nephews into the company, but he bombed his audition so badly that he couldn’t even use nepotism to save it.”

You let out a sharp noise of surprise. “Oh my god, Maya really does tell you everything.”

“Yup.” Isa smirked. “Want to hear more?”

“I’m not sure I should,” you protested, but after a moment of her just staring at you knowingly, you broke out into a smile. “Oh, who am I kidding. Tell me everything!”

“Well, I’m not quite sure about this one, because it’s more recent, but apparently one of the idols is having a lovers spat with another one of his members.”

You blinked in surprise. “That’s definitely news to me.”

“Yeah. She was complaining about how the recent photoshoot had to be delayed an extra hour because Felix refused to be in the same room as Chan.”

“Wait, Felix and Chan are the ones fighting?”

Isa paused. “Oh, yeah. I forgot you were working with them. Don’t let Maya know I told you anything, it’s supposed to be kept hush hush.”

“Right. I won’t say anything,” You promised.

-0-0-

“Why are you and Felix fighting?”

The words were out of your mouth before you could stop them. In your defense, you would have said anything in that moment, if just to end the awkward silence that had fallen over you and Chan when the two of you found yourselves alone in the meeting room.

You hadn’t intended to be alone with him. You weren’t even supposed to be in the meeting room in the first place. You had been passing by after dropping off some papers that Jeonhui had asked for, and just happened to almost get hit by a door as it opened, with Felix storming out. You both paused and stared at each other for a second in surprise.

“Oh, hey.”

Your eyes darted towards the open door, where you could see a dejected Chan standing with his hands on his hips. “Hey.”

Felix gave you a strained smile as he passed you by, and you watched him go for a second before you entered the meeting room yourself. Chan only lifted his head a fraction as you walked in. You closed the door behind you, and the two of you lingered in that awkward silence before you finally decided to break it in the most stupid way possible. You knew the question was out of line the second it was out of your mouth.

Why had you even walked into the room to begin with? Why hadn’t you just walked away?

Chan finally lifted his head completely, and you froze at the sight of his eyes.

They were red.

“Shit.“

Your hand reached blindly behind you for the door handle, but before you could grab it Chan was suddenly at your side, hand gripping your wrist tightly. Your breath caught in your throat, the sudden bitter scent of his alpha hitting you in the face.

He swallowed hard. “Don’t go.”

“I don’t think I should even be here,” You admitted, but you allowed him to pull your arm back in front of you anyways. “Chan, your alpha-“

“I know,” He whispered, closing his eyes. “It’s okay, I’m not … I can’t stand watching another omega walk away from me right now. Just … stay.”

With his alpha so close to the surface, you found it hard to refuse. While you could have just stood there, allowing him a moment to come down from his headspace on his own, there was something so painful about watching Chan battle with his own emotions and instincts. It was an impulsive decision, much like the choice to walk into the meeting room, much like the need to say something.

You grabbed his hand, the same one still holding you, and brought it up to your lips. With a soft kiss to the inside of his wrist, Chan let out a shudder, and he easily allowed you to pull him closer until his face was pressed against your neck.

While your omega scent was still covered with the artificial scent of beta, it would have to do. You softly allowed him to scent you, and it only took a few minutes before Chan came back to himself with a sharp inhale.

He pulled away from you so quickly he stumbled on his feet. “Shit, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” You reassured him, licking your lips. “You needed some grounding.”

“Fuck.” He ran his hand down his face.

You gave him a sympathetic smile. “That bad, huh?”

“Felix is really mad this time. I think I fucked up,” He said.

“Mind me asking what happened?” Chan was silent, and you took a hint. “Right, none of my business then.”

“No, it’s definitely your business.”

You paused from where you had started to turn back to the door. “Sorry?”

“Felix is mad because of the omega I slept with last week. You.”

“What?”

“He wants to meet you.”

“What?”

Chan let out a sigh, and he pulled out a chair to sit down. After a moment of consideration, he offered one of the chairs for you, and you were quick to take it since it felt like your legs were seconds away from giving out on you. The more he talked, the more dizzy you felt.

“Explain,” You said, staring Chan down.

“Felix knows I slept with an omega last week. I let it slip that I was still in contact with you, accidentally, and now he thinks that I might be having a serious relationship with you- well, the omega. He wants to meet you, and when I told him he couldn’t, he got upset. He thinks that … he thinks I might be trying to replace him.”

“That’s ridiculous,” You said with a scowl.

“I know. I thought it was just a petty little argument, but he … I think he actually believes it. He got so upset, yelled that me not wanting him to meet the other omega was suspicious and that if it wasn’t serious I would have just said that, and I obviously can’t explain it-“

“Because of me.”

“Because it’s complicated,” Chan corrected, rubbing his face again. “This isn’t on you, sweetheart. This is my problem.”

You scoffed. “Are you kidding me? Your omega is mad at you because of me, Chan. He thinks you’re replacing him with me. And if you told him the truth, none of this would be an issue.”

“If he thought it was just a one-night stand, then this wouldn’t be a problem anyways. I’m the one who fucked up here,” Chan argued.

“Why would he even think it was more than that anyways?” You wondered.

Chan froze.

You found yourself letting out a small laugh as he just stared at you with wide eyes, not wanting to believe the first thought that ran through your head. But the second thought, and then the third, all felt less convincing. Your smile dropped pretty quickly.

“Chan. Why would Felix think it was more than a one-night stand?”

He ran his fingers through his hair, then down his face, and then he shot to his feet to turn away from you completely. You shook your head in disbelief.

“You can’t be serious,” You breathed.

“This was before I knew you were a part of the company. I told him the morning after, before the meeting, and I obviously didn’t have the chance to explain what happened.”

“Jesus, Chan! You were planning on courting me?”

“Yes, I was.”

“Fuck.” You slumped back in your seat. “Why didn’t you just tell him I rejected you or something?”

“He would know I was lying. I wouldn’t have had time to ‘meet up’ with you this past week because we’ve been busy, and if he thought I did after he asked to meet you, he would have been even more pissed at me for ignoring him.” Chan explained. “It’s just … I thought I’d have time to come up with something, but it’s been a very stressful week.”

“Fuck,” you repeated.

Chan turned back around, giving you a tired look. “Yeah, fuck.”

He shook his head, and with his hands on his hips, he began to pace the length of the meeting room. You glanced a look at the clock and realized that you needed to get back to your desk before someone noticed how long you had been gone. You needed to finish your work for the day. You needed to leave the room and hope that nobody caught you here with Chan. What you needed to do was clear.

But you couldn’t think about any of that. You could only think about the strained smile on Felix’s face as he passed you by, the havoc that Chan had to have gone through for his alpha to take over, the fact that their relationship was being strained because of you. You closed your eyes, but you could still hear the footsteps as Chan paced.

“Tell him.”

The footsteps paused, and you opened your eyes to give Chan an even look.

He didn’t turn around. “What was that?”

“Felix,” You clarified, letting out a soft sigh. “Tell him the truth.”

Chan spun around with wide eyes. “Are you serious?”

“I’m not letting your pack relationships fall apart because of my choices.”

“You don’t have to do this.”

You tilted your head to the side. “Do you trust Felix?”

“With my life,” he said with no hesitation.

“Then so do I.”

The two of you stared each other down. Your head still felt fuzzy, but your chest no longer felt like there was a weight holding you down. You pulled yourself up from the seat, and only took a second to gain your composure.

You gave him a nod. “Well, I got to get back to work. I’ll see you later.”

“Wait, that’s it?”

You didn’t bother answering him, instead making your way towards the elevators with an urgency that only grew the further you got from him. The dizziness had gone away, and as the reality of the situation started to dawn on you, so did your clarity. Being that close to Chan, letting him scent you with his alpha so close to the surface, had been a terrible decision. Your body felt hot, and you were grateful for your scent blockers.

Today was chalking up to be a horrible day.

You were going into pre-heat.

#stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids x you #skz x you #chan x reader #chan x you #bangchan x reader #bangchan x you #changbin x reader #changbin x you #lee minho x reader #lee minho x you #minho x reader #minho x you #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x you #han x you #han x reader #jisung x reader #jisung x you #felix x you #felix x reader #seungmin x you #seungmin x reader #in x you #in x reader #jeongin x reader #jeongin x you #stray kids fanfic #abo au

[multifandoms27-blog]

:0 Your hcs for ling give me life! There's basically nothing out there for him.

Could I request ling yao x reader where the reader has insomnia but is able to sleep easily around Ling. (Bonus if you add in reader being a sleep hugger lol)

OMG OMG YES YES YES I RELATE SO MUCH <33 INSOMNIA GANG RISE UP and awww thank you, anon!!!!

~*~*~*

Content: Gender neutral reader, since anon never specified. Although I refer to reader in the second person anyway, so y'all good :3

Warnings: Uhhh nothing

Notes: Forgive me for all the off-track domestic rambles I went on, I just got back from a long weekend at my boyfriend's place and him and his family are giving me all the love I missed out on as a kid. I love all of them and would do anything to protect them <3

~*~*~*

MMMM insomniacs rise up (me, lol)

Ling from the very beginning of your relationship (and even before tbh) that you'd be up all hours of the night for days on end sometimes

He did worry, but the only response you'd give him was "insomnia"

This man doesn't know boundaries, so he's gonna pry into why you have insomnia

If you tell him its some like, psychological or trauma-induced reason, he wont go further unless you tell him or invite him to ask questions

However, if it's genetic, there's really not much else he can pry about lol

Ling has a bad habit of getting you little plushies and piling them up on your bed, making you send pictures of the plushie collection he's gotten you so he can gush over how cute they are

The first time he comes over, the man bursts into your bedroom (ofc) and with his arms open, yells, "Plush-babies! Daddy's home!"

Speaking of the first time he came over, that was actually the best sleep you had ever gotten

You both were watching a movie, Ling had passed out an hour ago and you were left to your own devices as you laid on his chest

Eventually, your eyelids became heavy and you were knocked out for wayyy more hours than you usually are

You woke up to Ling moving around and the smell of (lunch food) cooking in the air

Ling snickered and kissed you on the cheek. "You slept like a little baby. You even drooled on me a little, see?"

And of course, the darker patch on his shirt was prevalent. You blushed in embarassment "Ling, I- I'm so sorry, I-"

"No, no hun! That just means you slept real good last night."

Ling then spent many, many nights at your house after that

Ling loves coming over after work, showering, then either you or him making dinner, then settling down to bed, having light pillow talk then falling asleep

Ling's never had trouble sleeping; we all know he's the classic "bottomless pit" anime character, and those characters always sleep soundly (and snore loudly) so he'll always fall asleep before you

Your little plush babies will be pushed against the wall, Ling's back or side to them, you either pressed into his chest or his side with his arm over you no matter what

The more you sleep with him (SFW UNDERTONES-) the more sleep habits you develop

One that Ling notices the most, is waking up to you clinging to him for dear life

He's usually awake before you, so he snaps a couple pictures of you sleeping on him, or next to him, while making a funny face if he is in the shot

He'll even tease you about it at the worst times

"I'm gonna get a drink," Ling stands from Ed's couch, then crouches in front of (Y/n). "Come on."

"...Ling, what are you doing?"

"I just figured you'd wanna cling to me? You seem tired."

"Ling-" You blush.

"What?" He grins innocently. "You seem to want to cling to me when we sleep together, so I just figured-"

"LING!"

Ling totally sends those pictures of you to Lan Fan btw (THEY'RE BESTIES OKAY)

Lan Fan knows every bit of your relationship (except for like, the more intimate parts if you know what I mean) and whenever he comes home from your place, she's already got the snacks propped up and goes "Well???" and they squeal as he gushes about you it's so cute lol <3

Ling once woke from a nightmare, in which he relived Fu dying once more, and he could feel your arms tighten even more around him as he jolted awake

He looked down, thinking you were awake, but was grateful that he found you sound asleep against him

He put his hand in your hair and kissed your forehead before snuggling further into your grip and falling asleep once more

Even his parents love you

When he brought you to his home and introduced you to his father, mother, and 49 other step-mothers and all of their children, you figured all the noise would keep you awake all night

Normally, this was usual for you, but you were once again with Ling

When his father walked into your guest bedroom, he was surprised to see Ling next to you, three of your favorite plushies around you two as you sleep soundly in Ling's side. Ling looked up, motioned for his father to keep quiet, and waved hello

Let's say, even the King of Xing thought your tight grip on his son was cute

#fmab ling yao #ling yao fma #ling yao x reader #ling yao #fma #fmab #fmab ling

[un-nonymous]

Have you ever seen someone in like, head-to-toe (shoulder-to-thigh?) spanx, but without the bra part? It’s like a BYOB (bra) situation? It’s not great.

Anyway, my best friend’s wedding is this Saturday in Chicago and we leave at 6am Thursday. I need 8 more days to be ready for the trip.

It’s been so long since I’ve written over here that I was excited to fill in the “Listening to:” field. That’s … never been a thing here. Livejournal. Twenty (20) years ago. It’s fine. You should listen to this song though.

I don’t care about no hoes, where is your spouse at?

Red text!

(Personally, I truly don’t care about no hoes nor spouses. In fact I’m very actively trying to become a spouse myself, for fuck’s sake.)

So I’m a bridesmaid in my best friend’s wedding this weekend and I love her but she did us all dirty with the color of these dresses. It’s like a smoky lavender - the kind that looks good on no one. We were able to choose our own style at least, but they are all relentless and unforgiving. I am wearing head-to-toe spanx (BYObra) and you can see like, the line of the contour? on the thigh? And it’s not because I have thick legs. I mean, it’s because the material of the dress is almost as though it was stuck to you, but it flows nicely in a breeze. I don’t know. I’ve also lost a bunch of weight since June (thanks, keto!) and that honestly helps me feel better about the dress. I took selfies tonight, even! Maybe I’ll post one.

This has been a hard week. Since Friday, I: organized and attended yet another suicide prevention training at work; unexpectedly found myself needing to support a dear coworker towards the end of that training class because he had been struggling with all the thoughts we’d been talking about for 2 hours and needed to step outside to cry and asked if I would join him (a senior general superintendent); attended a coworker’s wedding with another coworker, got drunk for the first time in a while and lost the latter coworker’s sunglasses before raising my voice at a third coworker who was getting mouthy with me; had what would have been the worst hangover of my life Sunday if it weren’t for Amazon’s party patches*; have been running around with my hair on fire at the office for both 10+ hour days I’ve had today and yesterday.

That whole thing was all about work. I’m working on that, but now’s not a good time for progress.

Seriously though, look up “party patches” on Amazon. Slap 2 of them on you (gonna do 3-4 for this weekend’s festivities, I have to be in proper shape for Nine Inch Nails at Riot Fest on Sunday #priorities) and while they won’t always stop a hangover from happening (I mean honestly how do you stop a speeding train, you know?), they will help you avoid an ambulance at least. Ask me how I know. Look for the blue and orange packages. They’re just vitamins, I don’t know what kind of witchcraft they’re about otherwise but they’re like $30 for I want to say 40-something patches? You really can’t put a price on magic.

(Ok here’s how I know: The last time I got that hungover, it was the morning after Matt and I got into a big argument about something stupid in public and I was crying at the table quietly but also pretty dramatically and the server had just approached with the check that I stubbornly insisted on paying. I could not pick my head up off the pillow the next morning and it took us 3 weeks to finally reach the end of the conversation because I was so embarrassed that I cried at a server as a 37-year-old woman for really the dumbest reason. I’m really fun to date. Fortunately he and I were genuinely fine those 3 weeks, we aren’t about grudges which has probably done a world of good for our 5-year run so far. But I was wearing 0 party patches that night. I currently have 2.7 packs for the bridal party and maybe the groomsmen if they’re acting right.)

Matt is standing up in the wedding too and we’re going to walk down the aisle together. I hope at least a couple people throw shoes at him. Gently, because he is a gem, but he needs a kick in the ass and he knows it.

Hope you and yours are loving your adventures lately. 🖤

#did i tell you we got a dog?? #ok next time #love you bye

[binders-and-beanies]

Mental health updates under the cut I guess (tldr I’m still not ok but am taking steps to keep myself safe or whatever)

Told my supervisor I’m in crisis and he was super understanding n supportive n whatnot. We both are trans and have mental health issues and work in an lgbt center so one would hope it’s safe to be honest abt that kind of thing but it was a relief bc it also opened up a conversation abt scheduling moving forward n me having like 2 or 3 days off a week as opposed to the current 1 or 0. Esp since higher ups want me to work less anyways im like that’s totally fine bc i have a million things to do outside of work all the time.

Other thing I did was cancel a workshop I was gonna lead next week and it was a really hard decision. I would have been proud afterwards and I’m worried abt having regrets but I’ve done the same workshop before so it’s off the bucket list or whatev. Person in charge of that was also super supportive for similar reasons as above. It doesn’t solve the problem of there always being too many things stressing me out, and I don’t wanna set a precedent that I can just not do my responsibilities, but it eases a big part of the stress this month specifically.

Ppl in my life are saying they’re proud of me for setting that boundary and it’s weird to be praised for bailing on smth when I’m also feeling big guilty abt it but I gotta remind myself that being flakey is absolutely normalized in society and if ur average person can do so on the regular then I’m allowed to take One step back once it’s gotten to the point where my safety is questionable. I’d like to get to a point where things don’t get that serious in the first place but I’ve also never rly appreciated feeling blamed for being in this kind of position when the kind of things I’m busy with are mostly 1) things that are required for survival and 2) things that make it feel worth surviving. As if this is smth i do to myself bc i just <3 capitalism or smth

Im stressin tho bc as mentioned earlier my job is at risk for unrelated reasons which also means a lot of other things are at risk. This is happening at the same time I’ve just lost my insurance and have my biggest ever college bill to pay. And now I don’t know where I’ll be living or what that will mean for my finances either. It would also mean it takes even longer to qualify for any kind of credit, and therefore an apartment.

Even if nothing happens and I just keep working here for another year as planned it’s like can I not get JUMPSCARED w my livelihood being threatened like there’s literally always at least one Huge actual life or death problem as well as many other less catastrophic but extremely stressful things to deal w. I’m tired of living like that w no relief and I hate that the best case scenario is this fear ends up being for nothing. I hate that I’m thinking abt what I’ll do in x y or z scenario for this summer and my masters if this falls through, instead of enjoying the relief of one less thing on my plate.

I hate that this is how I’m doing the day after my birthday. I had a fun birthday weekend and am grateful for the people I spent it with and the places I went but it didn’t feel like genuine celebration it felt forced, like I was doing it because I Have to have a good birthday. Bc if one of the most important days of the year isn’t joyful then where’s the hope of any other days getting better. I did enjoy it I just couldn’t Feel the enjoyment bc I’m so stressed and I had major breakdowns before and after my bday. It sets a bad tone regarding aging and I want to celebrate progress but it’s hard when the future is more terrifying every year.

I feel like even if all my problems were magically solved, my ability to feel joy is permanently altered and it’s hard to imagine feeling anything more positive than just like, relief and rest. Idk I say all that to say I’m proud of myself for taking steps to make life more livable just like I’ve always done but it also feels kinda hopeless like nothing I do matters if it’s gonna be constant stress regardless

#mine #txt #personal

[sapiowoman28]

I can, I can't: Part 2 of 3

Pairing: Jaemin x female reader

Genre: smut, fluff, friends to lovers au

Warning: smut, flirting, spanking, male dom, female bratty sub

Tags: @nctlover94 @m1ss-foodi3 @heyyyun

The days that followed were hard. It was as if something had taken over Y/N, and she was perpetually horny, not from anything but from her thoughts of Jaemin doing things to her. Lucas was happy to help, but after 3 days of meeting, he was puzzled.

"You're never like this. What happened?" he asked, as they were soaking in the bathtub post sex.

Y/N wasn't sure if she should tell him. It wouldn't be nice.

"I don't know..." she lied. "I wish it'd stop. I need to focus on my assignments."

"About that, I can't meet you any more this week. I have 3 due next week and i haven't started on aything." Lucas looked regretful.

"It's ok, Lucas, we both need to finish our assignments"

She decided she'd focus on her assignments instead, and work on them in the library - where the wifi was pretty good - instead of home so she wouldn't have to face Jaemin. Not until she was sure about what she wanted to do.

So day by day, she left the house early and returned late. The boys texted her as usual, and she replied. But with Jaemin, she was reticent. Instead of her usual teasing, she provided one or two word replies. She was afraid she'd attempt to flirt with him and things would go overboard.

The good part was she made pretty good progress on her assigments. They were her best yet this year, and she was pleased. She was working through the conclusion to one of her papers when she was interrupted.

"Hey!"

She froze, looking up. Jaemin, sitting down on the seat opposite hers.

"Hey Jae." she smiled. "Lost?"

"I study, ok? he threw his hands up. Then proceeded to unzip his laptop bag.

"What are you doing here?" she watched him suspiciously. Neither Jaemin nor Jeno were library people.

"I've an assignment to complete. And I haven't seen you for days. I just wanted to know you were ok. You haven't been very normal."

"Speak for yourself. Any updates on your turbulent sex life?" she grinned, inwardly proud at how she deflected his question.

"I got my ID back. Told him i could report him for assault AND retaining my ID. You should have seen his face." he said proudly.

"Told you you'd be fine standing up to him. He had no right to hit you," she giggled.

"Thanks." he said, reaching across the table to rub her arm affectionately. She flinched. She wished her friends weren't so touchy with one another sometimes.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm not in a mood to be touched." she said awkwardly. "I'm going through a phase."

"Ok. I won't touch you then" he shrugged and started getting to work on his assignment.

Y/N looked at him. He was beautiful, she thought. The lashes. The way he concentrated. Or when he frowned to himself. No wonder he was known as the handsome one.

it was hard to focus with Jaemin sitting opposite her. Her previous momentum was lost. She wished he hadn't come. But she told herself she wasn't going to let her assignment be affected. So she struggled through the conclusion and soon managed to complete her assignment.

"If you give me 15 minutes, we can go for lunch after that." he said, not looking up. She agreed, looking at the surrounding tables. She saw Renjun a few tables away with a girl. Their eyes met. He waved. She raised her eyebrows and he faked an annoyed look before turning back his attention on the girl.

"Someone's getting lucky soon." Y/N commented.

"Who?" Jaemin asked still focussed on his laptop.

"Renjun."

"Oh. It's not going to work. She has a boyfriend."

"They can still fuck."

"Are you aerious?" Jaemin looked up half amused.

"She's not married." she shrugged. "You need to loosen up."

"You have no morals." he declared.

"I'm proud of that." she winked. "Seriously, you need to try living life on the edge a little."

"Getting caught in bed and getting beaten up not wild enough for you?"

"Well, it depends. Were you handcuffed?"

Jaemin gasped. "Censor yourself, Y/N!"

"Or was she? What position were you guys caught in?" she knew she had crossed a line but somehow couldn't stop herself.

"Y/N!"

"Yes, Mr Na?"

Jaemin brought his face close to hers.

"I said stop it." he said, voice low and gravelly. Y/N felt herself pool.

"What if i don't?" she challenged him, looking him straight in the eye.

"I suggest you don't challenge me." he said through gritted teeth.

"I'll think about it." She said. folding her ams in front of her, eyes twinkling.

"Yo! What's Jaemin doing here?" Haechan asked as he plonked down on the chair next to hers.

Jaemin leaned back and relaxed, breaking into a smile.

"Y/N thinks I'm lost."

"You ARE lost." Y/N laughed, looking at Jaemin who was still keeping his composure. "Someone needs to guide you back onto the right path."

"I don't know. Being guided isn't my kind of thing. I prefer to be the one guiding."

"Now I'm lost!" Haechan whined. "What's happening?"

Y/N sighed.

"Let's go for lunch." she said.

Things got worse from there. Jaemin began avoiding her, staying cooped up in his room as much as he could, spending time either doing his assignments or gaming. Y/N was upset, though she wasn't sure if she was upset with herself or with him.

All she knew was things were awkward now. She tried texting him but he either didn't reply or replied with one word answers. She had to do something. There wasn't much opportunity though, since there never seemed a time where they were both home alone. And the last thing she wanted was for the rest of the guys to get involved.

Then one night two weeks later, all the boys decided to head out to the clubs to party to celebrate the submission of all their assignments. Y/N gave it a pass. She wasn't one for clubs - the loud music and the lights and the smells always gave her a headache. She had previously tried of course, but it mostly turned out unpleasant for her - the same throbbing headache that progressively got worse over the course of the night and made her feel sick.

So the guys headed out and she decided to soak in the bathtub in the bigger bathroom. She dropped her favourite vanilla scented bath bomb into the warm water, and got it after removing her clothes and giving the water a few swishes. This was the life, she thought. Who wanted to be stuck in some club against sweaty bodies and wake up with a hangover the next day?

After her bath, she took time to put on a mask and applied lotion to her body. She was glad all her assignments had been submitted, and this was a good time to pamper herself after all the hard work.

When she was done, she put on an oversized t-shirt that came down to her mid thigh and wore her favourite red cotton underwear. Feeling upbeat, she headed to the kitchen to make some pasta. It was just 9pm when the front door opened. She looked up from the ham she was slicing.

Jaemin. She forgot he had not gone with them. In fact, he had been out most of the day, probably at the cafe he worked at on some weekends.

"Need dinner?" she asked, somewhat unsure if he would respond. "I'm making some pasta."

"Dinner would be good," he nodded with a slight smile. "I can open a bottle of wine after i have my shower." He knew he just had to stop behaving like a dick now.

She grinned. "Yes please!"

He went and took a quick shower before coming back, smelling fresh.

"The bathroom smells nice." he said, sniffing. "Actually you smell nice too."

"Jaemin! At least say the food I'm making smells nice!" Y/N poked his arm. He embraced her from the back.

"I missed you." he said.

She felt his chest against her back.

"Missed you too. Why were you avoiding me?" she asked.

"Why were YOU avoiding me?" he asked her back.

Neither of them said anything.

She took the pan off the stove and divided the pasta into two bowls. Jaemin opened the wine and they both sat at the dining table for dinner. The air was tense as they ate silently.

"Jae," she said, not being able to take the silence any longer. "I know i shouldn't have ignored you. But I've been struggling."

He put his fork down. He tried to grab her hand but she pulled it away nervously.

"I'm listening, Y/N," he said gently.

"I can't stop thinking of yo...."

But she couldn't finish, as he grabbed her face and brought it closer to his. She felt her heart beat faster as he looked her in the eye.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked, looking at her in the eye, his face tensed up, his voice low and trembling. "Do you know what you're doing to me?"

"I know I'm probably not your type...." she began but he cut her off.

"Don't speak for me, Y/N. Everything about you drives me nuts! Your laughter, the way you tease me. Everything! You're such a bad girl, Y/N!"

"I've never said I was good. I don't have morals, remember?" she grinned. "Maybe you'd have to teach me how to behave, Mr Na."

He felt his cock twitch. He grabbed her by the arm.

"What are you doing?" she asked, struggling as he stood up, taking her with him. Roughly, he pushed her against the kitchen cabinet.

"Bend over!" he demanded, grip getting tighter. She had no choice but to comply, yelping as she felt his hand land hard on her butt.

"Ouch! What the hell, Jaemin?"

"You deserve to be spanked for taunting me in the library." he said through gritted teeth, landing another smack. She gasped.

"That hurts!"

"Good! Maybe next time you wouldn't think of being such a tease." he said, giving her yet another smack. "3! We're going to 10!"

"!0?!" she tried to wriggle out of his grip. It was no use.

"4!" he said, landing yet another slap. She bit her lip. It was hurting more and more as the number of spanks progressed. But she didn't dislike it.

"5!" she felt her eyes watering. This was getting too painful.

"6!"

"Jae, please, it hurts!"

"Say one more word and I'll make it 20!" he warned.

She gave up, whimpering as he gave her another 4 blows, tears rolling down her face. Finally he let her go. She turned around and shoved him.

"Do that one more time and watch what i'll do!" she warned. He grabbed her by the back of her neck, forcing her to look closely at him again.

"You need to get one thing right," he hissed, as he wiped her tears away with his fingers. "I'm the one in charge here."

"Oh yeah?" she challenged him. "We'll see about that."

"Listen, you're not in a position to argue with me. Do you want me to fuck you or not?" he asked. "Yes or no?"

Silence. She glared at him.

"Answer me." he said, glaring back.

"Fine." she said. "We'll play by your rules."

He let go, suddenly going back to his usual self. "The food's getting cold. Let's eat."

"No, Jae...." she pleaded. "Fuck me, now, please!"

"I'm not fucking you tonight, Y/N."

"Nobody's home now!"

"I'll decide and let you know when I'm ready," he said firmly.

She reaiised that she had to be fair and wait for him to be ready. She sighed.

"Fine." she said.

If only he knew how wet she was, from the spanking he gave her, she thought to herself.

#nct dream smut #jaemin smut #nct jaemin smut #nct dream imagines #nct haechan #nct renjun #nct jeno #nct imagines #nct smut #na jaemin #nct nana

[full-of-jams]

Tangsuyuk Love

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: College student Jungkook passes cute notes with a customer who always orders take-out tangsuyuk at his part-time job. Meanwhile he’s trying not to miserably fail his Math class, while hiding his ever-growing crush on you.

Genre: college au, f2l, fluff, smut, one shot, did I mention FLUFF?

Warnings: mild swearing, sexual content, hold your heart palpitations!

Word Count: 11.5k

A/N: I wanted to write something light and sweet before I continued with Good Riddance. It will be easy, she said. It will be fun, she said. It will be quick, she said. Ha. haha. ha. ha. Ignore my pain. Enjoy!

°°°°°°°

[09/04 18:34 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY] 1 Tangsuyuk (large) 1 Jjamppong 2 Kimchi Mandu ---------------- Note: Without pineapple! Please make the jjamppong extra spicy, my boyfriend just broke up with me T-T

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: JK ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (large) -- 20,000 1 Jjamppong -- 5,000 2 Kimchi Mandu -- 6,000 1 Soju -- 0

Total: 31,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

Note: Service! Nothing’s better than the fresh taste of soju to lighten a heavy heart :) Cheer up LatteIsHorse-Nim!

Paper Note: JK-nim, thanks for the soju. It sweetened my bitter night. This is Tokki, please give him a loving new home! TT-TT

Jungkook was fucking terrified of you. If it weren’t for the fact that he was close to failing Statistical Analysis, he would’ve considered faking a stomach flu and making a beeline straight out of the library.

“If you have a box containing 3 white, 4 red and 5 black balls what is the probability that you will draw a white ball on your first draw and a black ball on your second draw?” you asked again through gritted teeth.

You looked up at Jungkook and were met by an empty stare. Usually you enjoyed tutoring your fellow classmate. He was a smart and funny guy, maybe a bit awkward at times, but always trying his best. Today every little thing grated on your nerves. It took you every ounce of energy to get out of bed and look like a presentable human being this morning. You really didn’t want to sit here for another hour if the boy was just going to stare at you like a petrified statue. “It’s really not that difficult. You just have to apply conditional probability.”

Jungkook let out a frustrated huff and pulled at his hair, “I really don’t know, this doesn’t make any sense! Why do I even need this stuff for my major? Who cares if I pull out a white ball or a black ball first? It’s not like I’m planning on becoming Houdini!”

Sometimes you pitied him, but who on Earth had an irrational fear of Gauss distributions and probability?! They were beautiful, harmless, abstract concepts of life. Your sympathy was muffled by a thrumming headache. All the late-night crying already had you chugging water and slapping ice cubes on your face at breakfast. Right now you just wanted to go home, change into your pjs, order some tangsuyuk and binge watch Boys Over Flowers. The cringy acting and Go Jun Pyo’s luscious locks were the only things that made your miserable life feel a bit less pathetic at the moment. “Jungkook, we went over this last time. Just apply the damn formula,” you snapped.

“Why are you being so scary today?” he asked wide-eyed and apprehensive.

You took a deep breath, rubbed your temples and tried to calm your inner turmoil. It wasn’t his fault; you were just in a really shitty mood. “I’m sorry. It’s not my day today. Is it okay if we rain check? I promise I’ll make it up to you next week.”

Jungkook wasn’t used to seeing you this distraught. He wracked his brain on how to lift your spirit. “Hey, do you want to hear this math joke my friend Jin told me the other day? What do you call an angle that is adorable?”

The boy scrunched his nose adorably and waited for your response. He was really handsome, you noticed that back when you two first met. Back then you just didn’t have a reason to care. Back then you still had a boyfriend.

“I don’t know, tell me,” you answered.

“Acute angle!” he said with a timid smile.

Despite your foul mood you had to snort at his joke.

Jungkook’s smile grew wider. It wasn’t a full laugh, but at least your frown disappeared. He discovered early on that you had a soft spot for bad math puns.

Although he absolutely detested Statistical Analysis, he has come to enjoy your study sessions over the past couple of weeks. The TA of his class, Namjoon, was a close friend of Jungkook’s and a sunbae of yours. Once he discovered that his favorite dongsaeng was abysmal at reading a z-score table, he immediately referred him to you.

At first Jungkook was very reluctant to accept any help. He was a mechanical engineer for fuck’s sake! He calculated distributed load across uneven surfaces and directional derivatives all the time!

His inner protests died down during your first session when you unwittingly asked him if he was constipated while he tried to calculate the standard deviation. During your second session he noticed you liked to doodle small geometric and fractal comics on his work sheets whenever he was solving a problem.

‘What did the triangle say to the circle?’ ‘You’re pointless!’

By the time your third session rolled around he still hated statistics, but it was too late and he’d developed a hopeless crush on you. Your monologues about dead mathematicians and the beauty of an infinite series were oddly captivating. He didn’t think he’d ever met anyone who was so passionate and animated about anything in all his life.

“Is everything okay?” Jungkook asked carefully. You seemed tired and a bit wary. “I-I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel like it. Sorry, it’s none of my business,” he immediately added.

You smiled at his flustered state. Jungkook’s heart stumbled when your smile turned sad and you said, “No not really, but I’m sure I’ll be fine sooner or later.”

[13/04 19:12 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]

1 Tangsuyuk (large) 1 Jjajangmyeon 1 Jjajangbap ---------------- Note: JK-nim! Omg your tangsuyuk is the best! I could drown in that sauce! How is Tokki doing?

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: JK ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (large) -- 20,000 1 Jjajangmyeon -- 4,500 1 Jjajangbap -- 5,500

Total: 30,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! Little Tokki is doing well and bravely guarding our store! Don’t drown, but here’s some extra sauce for you to enjoy. I asked for it to be without pineapple. Hwaiting!

“Yah! Why does it smell like rotten take-out in your bedroom?” Jisoo asked.

Scowling has become your new go-to expression. “Too soon. Just let me wallow in my self-pity and sorrow.”

If you didn’t know any better you would’ve thought your friend was playing ‘The Floor Is Lava’ considering how gingerly she walked across your room. Safely on the other side, she ripped open a window to let some much needed fresh air in. 

“I think you’re going to be wallowing in mold and fungus instead,” Jisoo commented with disgust. “Wallow all you want, I’m here to support you, girl. But I can’t allow you to turn your place into a biohazard zone. Isn’t your sister bothered by this?”

“My sister doesn’t care; our rooms are off limits to each other. As long as we both keep the common area clean, she won’t complain,” you said.

Jisoo sat down on your bed and patted the empty spot next to her. She immediately retracted her hand. “Eww, is that tangsuyuk sauce on your sheets?” she asked, completely appalled.

You shrugged and thumped onto your bed.

“So what are your plans for tonight?” she asked, trying to suppress a shudder.

“It’s Monday night. What plans could I possibly have?”

“We’re in college! Weekdays, weekends, they’re all the same!” your friend exclaimed. She looked at your sprawled-out figure. “I told you from the very beginning he wasn’t good for you. I know it doesn’t feel like this right now, but you’re lucky he’s out of your life. I really can’t watch you torture yourself over a jerk like him. Let’s go out to Hongdae!”

“I can’t go out. I already have plans.”

“Didn’t you just say you didn’t have any plans?”

“I lied. I have a date.”

Jisoo paused for a second, unsure how to respond. “Really? With whom?”

“Gong Yoo. We promised to kiss each other on first snowfall,” you responded listlessly.

“Yah!” Jisoo yelled and smacked your butt.

“Oww! What was that for?” you cried in surprise, rubbing the tender spot.

“Re-watching Goblin is not a date! You scared me for a second,” Jisoo said.

“How is it not a date? I meet a hot oppa, multiple hot oppas, we have dinner together, I giggle and blush and at the end of the night I get kissed to sleep.” You sat up and gave your friend a weary look. “I really don’t want to go out right now, but also don’t want to be on my own. Can’t we just stay in and watch a drama?” you asked with the saddest face you could muster.

Jisoo wanted to argue, but she couldn’t resist your pout. “Fine. But first you change your bedsheets, I’m not gonna sit in moldy tangsuyuk sauce all night. And I get to choose the drama.”

“Call!”

[16/04 17:58 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]

1 Tangsuyuk (small) 1 Kimchi Kimbap 1 Beef Kimbap  ---------------- Note: JK-nim thanks for the extra sauce! It was delicious. Are you a dipper or a pourer?

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: JK ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (small) -- 13,000 1 Kimchi Kimbap -- 2,500 1 Beef Kimbap -- 2,500 1 Soup -- 0

Total: 18,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! Personally, I’m a dipper, but I don’t discriminate! I added some broth as service for you. It’s chilly tonight. Don’t catch a cold!

Paper Note: JK-nim, let’s be friends? I’m also a dipper! Did you know that butterflies can’t fly when they’re cold? Here is one that I folded, sending back my warmest thoughts to you on this frosty spring night.

The first thing that caught your eye was Jungkook who was patiently waiting at the library entrance. Despite the steaming goods in his hands, his entire body was shivering. The temperature suddenly dropped last night, but he couldn’t be bothered to dig up his padded jacket when he left the house this morning.

Before you could even greet him, he shoved a hot milk tea towards you and mumbled, “Here, it’s cold today so I thought you could use something warm.”

You were surprised by this sweet gesture. “Thanks,” you reached for it and examined the drink in your hand, ”How did you know I like black milk tea?”

He ducked his head and mumbled something into himself.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

Jungkook lifted his head. His cheeks and nose were a lovely wash of pink from the cold. “You mentioned once that you’re an OG milk tea drinker, so I just guessed” he repeated again, louder. “I saw this bungeoppang cart on the way here. We can share them while studying?” he said, holding up a small paper bag.

Your heart warmed and for the first time in weeks your face split into big smile, “Sure, I love bungeoppang! We’re not allowed to eat inside the library. So how about we eat everything first before they get cold and then go in?”

The both of you took a seat on a bench. By now Jungkook definitely regretted being too lazy to find his jacket this morning, but he was determined not to let it show. He passed the bag full of bungeoppangs to you.

You happily reached for one of the fish-shaped pastries and started munching on it. Your face crinkled, steam came out of your mouth. Jungkook’s heart skipped as he watched you in fascination. Your cheeks were flushed. A sudden instinct to stroke your rosy skin overcame him. Instead he reached for a bungeoppang and took a careful bite. “Are you feeling better today?”

“A little bit,” you said between bites, “I’m really sorry about last time. I feel bad now. I ditched you and now you’re treating me to snacks.” You went on and stabbed your straw through your milk tea. “I should be the one treating you instead.”

“I like to treat you,” Jungkook said, mesmerized by the way your lips moved against the straw. He suddenly realized what he was doing and cleared his throat, “A happy teacher is a good teacher! You’re already spending your time tutoring me.”

A laugh slipped out of you, “Jungkook, you’re paying me for your lessons. But it’s okay, this bungeoppang and tea definitely hits the spot, so I’ll accept it with a grateful heart. What are you drinking?”

Jungkook looked down on his drink and gave it a shake, the black pearls swirled around buoyantly. “Banana milk tea, I prefer sweet drinks.”

You leaned back against the bench and looked up at the clear blue sky. “Sweet things are the best combat against the bitter taste of life,” you sighed. You closed your eyes and soaked in the crisp air. Jungkook felt your melancholy, he could warm your body, but he didn’t know how to warm your heart.  

“Sorry that I’m bothering you with my personal stuff. It’s just that I had a really bad breakup recently. I shouldn’t let it affect our lessons,” you said with a wistful smile as you lifted your head again.

The boy next to you remained silent. You turned and saw a contemplative look on his face. “It’s alright, everyone can have a bad day,” he finally said, “You don’t have to pretend to be okay when you’re not. If you’re never angry or sad, you won’t know when you’re happy.”

His words stunned you. Has Jungkook always been this thoughtful? You turned away from his gaze and looked down at the pastry in your hand. “They’re rhombus shaped,” you muttered in an attempt of distraction and showed your bungeoppang to Jungkook. “The fish scales,” you added when he looked confused.

“Ah yeah, the scales. It’s actually erroneous since most of the bungeoppangs depict a ganoid scale structure when in fact carps have cycloid scales to allow for a greater flexibility,” Jungkook explained.

A blank look appeared on your face. Probably the same blank look he had whenever you tried to explain the Bayes’ theorem to him. He let out an awkward laugh, “We studied the mechanics of fish scale structures in Material Science. You can correlate the flexibility of a scaled surface depending on its underlying geometric structure and material. It’s pretty cool stuff.”

“I can’t believe you can geek out about the geometry of fish scales, but don’t know how to define your probability population,” you snorted in disbelief. 

“Hey, when will I ever need to calculate the probability of two people with the same birthday in a room? I just have a hard time learning stuff I never have to apply,” he said defensively.

Then you suddenly had an idea. “Tell you what, how about this? If you pass your statistics final, I’ll treat you to the best Chinese take-out in town! You can order whatever you want!”

Jungkook didn’t want to dampen your excitement by telling you that his part-time job already allowed him to eat as much Chinese take-out as he wanted. “Okay, but don’t complain when you go broke. My record was five jjajangmyeon and two tangsuyuk in one sitting.”

You batted away his challenge. “First you have to pass your finals,” you teased.

“I’ll pass,” Jungkook said.

You smiled at his cute determination. “Then it’s a date.”

Jungkook beamed back at you. “It’s a date.”

[05/05 18:21 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]

1 Tangsuyuk (large) 2 Pork Mandu 1 Tteokkguk 1 Jjajangmyeon 1 Tteokkbokki ---------------- Note: No pineapple plz. JK-nim! Happy Children’s Day! For this special occasion I’ve decided to order all of my childhood favorites. Life is too short to eat bad food. I hope today you treat yourself to something delicious as well!

“Yah! JK! Your girlfriend placed an order again!” Yugyeom yelled across the store.

A mop of black hair peaked out from the back of the shop. “She’s not my girlfriend, she’s just a regular,” Jungkook yelled back.

“A regular you flirt with,” Yugyeom snickered, “I saw all the notes you left her in the system. ‘Don’t catch a cold!’, ‘Hwaiting!’ Don’t tell me that’s not your lame attempt at flirting.”

Suddenly an angry Yoongi stomped out of the kitchen. “Keep it down boys, we have guests here.”

Jungkook went up to the register and printed out the online order. “Hyung, can you make a large tangsuyuk without pineapple?”

“It’s a national holiday, there’s like two people here tonight,” Yugyeom muttered under his breath.

“What did you say, Yugyeom?”

“Nothing, hyung!”

Yoongi snatched the order out of Jungkook’s hand and gave both boys another irritated glance before he headed back into the kitchen.

“Hey JK,” Yugyeom said in a lower voice as he moved next to his friend, “aren’t you ever curious how LatteIsHorse is like? I mean, she must have some sense of humor judging by her username.”

“Sometimes. Don’t you ever wonder how our regulars are like? But it’s not like I’m ever gonna meet them or know it’s them when they come into the store,” Jungkook said with a shrug.

“You could though. Mingyu’s out on delivery, Eunwoo’s off so we have a free bike. The store is dead tonight. You could go deliver the order and have a look,” Yugyeom spurred him on.

Jungkook considered his friend’s suggestion. Every time he opened his locker a little origami bunny and butterfly stared back at him and brightened his day. It was true, he was curious how LatteIsHorse was like. “Okay I’ll go, but don’t pretend you’re doing me a favor. You just don’t want to do delivery tonight.”

<Ding Dong>

A pretty girl in a Yonsei hoodie and shorts opened the door. She somehow looked familiar, but Jungkook couldn’t place from where. Maybe he met her on campus before.

“Delivery from Golden Bang,” Jungkook said, holding up his metal box.

“Ah great! I’m starving!” the girl said.

Jungkook started unloading the box and handed the dishes to the girl. Once he was done, he lingered awkwardly in the doorway. The girl gave him a curious look, clearly wondering why he wasn’t leaving. Jungkook gathered his courage and said, “I’m JK by the way.”

What followed was a beat of silence. Jungkook could feel his ears burn.

“Err, it’s nice to meet you, I guess? Is there anything else you need?” the girl asked after the painful pause. “Ah got it! Just a sec!” She ran into the apartment and came back with her wallet. “Here’s a tip, we’ll put the dishes back outside for pick up,” she said as she scrunched a bill into Jungkook’s hand, “Thanks for your hard work. Happy holiday!” And then she shut the door right into his face.

What just happened? Jungkook was stupefied. After an eternity he finally moved and mechanically pulled out his phone. He checked the delivery order on his app. LatteIsHorse – this was the address. She didn’t recognize him. Why was he so naive to believe that she would remember him? All he wanted in that moment was for the ground to open and swallow him up.

“Dinner’s here,” your sister said as you came out of the shower. “Did you order banana milk?”

“No? Why?” you joined her at the dinner table and started rummaging through the dishes. “Where’s the receipt?”

“I threw it in the trash,” she said. When she saw you opening up the trash can and fishing for it, she added, “Gross! What are you doing? Why do you need it?”

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: JK ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (large) -- 20,000 2 Pork Mandu -- 6,000 1 Tteokkguk -- 4,500 1 Jjajangmyeon -- 4,500 1 Tteokkbokki -- 3,000

Total: 38,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! Happy Children’s Day to you too! I added my favorite childhood drink, banana milk! I hope it brings back as many happy childhood memories for you as it does for me.

There, sitting on the table, was a small bottle of banana milk. A smile spread across your face. “I need to file it away for tax purposes.”

Your sister looked at you like you were crazy. “Let’s eat already, I’m starving. Wash your hands.”

[14/05 16:55 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [TAKE AWAY]

1 Tangsuyuk (small) 1 Jjajangbap ---------------- Note: JK-nim, hope you’re doing well. I’m in the area today, so I thought I’d stop by and say hello in person! Is it weird that I feel a bit nervous?

The restaurant door wasn’t going to open itself. The past 15 minutes of you standing in front of it has proven that. You had some errands to run in Hongdae after school and decided on a whim to place a pickup order at your favorite take-out place. 

Why was it so difficult to enter a restaurant? If you steeled your nerves any more, they’d probably break from how brittle they’ve become. You just had to open that damn door.

Sometimes you wondered if you liked that place more because of its great tangsuyuk or because of JK’s little notes which always managed to put a smile on your face.

One thing was for sure, you weren’t stalling because of the tangsuyuk.

“Welcome to Golden Bang!” a bright male voice rang across the restaurant as you passed through the door.

You walked up to the register and sneaked a peek at the boy’s name tag, ‘Yugyeom’. You felt a slight twinge of disappointment.

“I’m here to pick up my order? LatteIsHorse?” you asked tentatively.

A sign of recognition flashed across Yugyeom’s face. “Of course, your order’s ready! I’ll just bag it up for you,” he said cheerfully. He walked away and quickly came back with a white plastic bag full of food. Then he printed out your receipt and handed both to you.

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: YG ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (small) -- 13,000 1 Jjajangbap -- 5,500

Total: 18,500 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

You looked around the restaurant, it was empty since dinnertime was still a while away. You wondered if Yugyeom was managing the store alone right now. At least the cook must be in. “Your tangsuyuk is really delicious. It’s probably my favorite.”

Yugyeom gave you a big smile, “Happy to hear that you enjoy our food so much. The tangsuyuk is our chef’s family recipe. It’s one of our most popular menu items!”

You wringed your hands and finally decided to bite the bullet and straight out ask, “Is JK here? He usually takes my orders when I order delivery, so I just wanted to say hi.”

“JK’s shift doesn’t start until 6, so he should be here in about half an hour. If you want, I can relay a message,” he said with a knowing smile, “Or you can also take a seat and wait for him. I’m sure he’d be thrilled to meet you.”

No way you were going to sit here for half an hour and wait up for a stranger. “Ah no, that’s alright. If you could just say hi from me, that’d be great,” you quickly replied with a flush. JK would probably think you’re a creepy stalker.

“Sure, can do! Enjoy your day!” Yugyeom said merrily as you walked out the store.

A feeling of both relief and sadness passed through you. You slowly walked down the busy streets of Hongdae as you reprimanded yourself for being so stupid. What were you going to say to JK anyway if you met him? Thanks for being nice to me? You’re the reason I don’t burst into tears every single night? You’re the reason why I don’t feel completely alone when I’m sobbing into my food over Song Joong Ki’s acting? Thanks for making me gain 3 kilos in the last month?

Whatever you said, it would’ve only made you sound pathetic.

A crippling wave of desperation suddenly washed over you and rooted you in your tracks. A single tear rolled down your face. Then another. You dropped down into a crouch and started to bawl. You couldn’t fathom how you’ve reached this all-time low in your life. Why did you feel so incredibly sad about being stood up by a stranger? Especially when that stranger didn’t even know you were coming?

“Y/N?” an alarmed voice asked. You looked up when you felt a soft shake against your shoulder.

Through your tear-blurred eyes you recognized Jungkook’s face. He crouched down next to you and asked, “Is everything okay? Are you hurt?”

You shook your head and tried to wipe away your tears. It was a useless attempt as they kept on streaming down your face.

Jungkook hesitantly pushed your hair out of your face and asked, “Do you want to go somewhere else so you can tell me what happened?”

You gave him an imperceptible nod.

His hand gently moved down to your arm, afraid that you were going to push him away. With a steady grip he slowly helped you back onto your feet. Then he slid his hand through yours and led you down the hustle and bustle of Hongdae until you ended up in front of a convenience store located in one of the quieter residential side streets. He sat you down in a plastic chair and told you to wait. After a while he came back with a packet of tissues, a bottle of water and two red bean popsicles.

You gratefully took the tissues and loudly blew your nose. A small part of your brain told you to act more ladylike, especially in front of Jungkook, but the bigger part didn’t really care and just wanted to drag you back down into the pits of loneliness. A strangled sound came out of your mouth as you started to hiccup, making you sound like a drowning cat.

You expected Jungkook to laugh at your weird orchestra of emotions. Even you found it absurd and would’ve laughed if you weren’t already crying and hiccupping at the same time. But all he did was quietly open the water bottle and hand it to you.  

As soon as you lifted the bottle to your mouth another hiccup made you almost spill the water on yourself. You held your breath for a few seconds and then took a careful sip. It seemed to work. You took a bigger sip, when another hiccup racked your body and you squeezed water all over your face.

There was a bewildering moment of shock, then you started to laugh deliriously. Forget before, this was your lowest point in life. This was so pathetic that it was hilarious again. Your laughter garbled whenever you hiccupped, only causing you to laugh even harder. You would’ve continued laughing for another long minute if you weren’t choking for air.

A small smile played around Jungkook’s mouth. He took another tissue and started wiping down your face. You hiccupped under his touch. He must think you’re a nutcase.

“I have a question. We have to do some statistical testing in my Quality Management class. What would a hypothesis look like if I wanted to analyze any deviation in a spare parts production line due to temperature conditions?” Jungkook asked.

Did he really forget hypothesis testing already? He finally managed to get it after four sessions! You frowned slightly. “You could set up a null hypothesis stating that a variation in temperature does not significantly impact the parameter of measurement in your production line. Jungkook did you seriously forget this?!” you said indignantly.

Jungkook gave you a playful laugh, “No, I think you drilled it so hard into my brain, I could probably recite all variables of the standard deviation formula if you woke me up in the middle of the night. Your hiccups stopped though.”

They did.

Embarrassment set in as you realized your predicament. Maybe your hormones were going crazy, maybe you were going crazy. You were getting whiplash from the emotional roller coaster you were on. In an attempt to hide your disgrace, you picked up another tissue and wiped away the remaining water, snot and tears.

There was tangible awkwardness in the air.

“I hope you like red bean,” Jungkook said shyly as he unwrapped a popsicle, “Red bean is my favorite. My friends keep on calling me old fashioned, but it just reminds me of the time when my mom used to buy me these after taekwondo class. I think I liked the popsicles more than I liked going to class.” He sighed in reverie and held up the popsicle for you.

You stared at his hand. You remembered how it felt against yours just a few moments ago. Firm, warm and steady. Then you looked up at Jungkook. He hid it well, but you could tell that there was concern behind his encouraging smile.

“This is so embarrassing,” you said as you accepted the popsicle and turned your head away from him, “I don’t know what is wrong with me right now. I’m usually not like this.”

“Did something happen earlier?” Jungkook asked cautiously as he unwrapped his own popsicle and took a bite out of it.

Did something happen earlier? Why did you cry? Where you really crying just because you didn’t meet JK?

“No,” you said and slowly shook your head, “I don’t know. I just suddenly felt overwhelmed.”

Jungkook hesitated before he asked, “Are you sad because of your breakup?”

Were you sad because of your ex-boyfriend?

“I don’t think so. In the beginning when we broke up I was devastated, but I don’t think that’s the case anymore,” you said more to yourself than to Jungkook. “Everyone told me I was lucky to be rid of him. I really didn’t understand why. But I think it’s becoming clearer now. Maybe it’s not sadness. Maybe it’s fear. I think I just feel lost. I don’t know who I am anymore. Maybe it scares me to know that I was able to lose myself and I don’t know if I can find a way back.”

Before you knew it, you spilled your heart, your deepest and darkest fears to Jungkook. You barely knew this boy, yet it still felt oddly comforting. He remained quiet and listened.

“I wanted to meet someone today, but they weren’t there,” you continued, “I think in that moment I just realized how utterly lost I was on my own.”

Jungkook searched for the appropriate words. How do you respond to someone’s most vulnerable thoughts? “I mean you know what they say. It’s not about how much you’ve lost, it’s about how much you have left.”

He peeked at you to check if it worked.

“Jungkook, did you just quote Iron Man at me?” you asked incredulously before a giggle slipped from your lips.

You noticed how his cheeks dimpled when he gave you an embarrassed laugh, “Sorry, I was trying to say something that would cheer you up. I’m probably not doing a very good job.”

In that second you realized how kind-hearted Jungkook actually was. Your heart squeezed. “Don’t say that. Thanks for listening to my problems. And thanks for the red bean popsicle. I also ate this a lot in my childhood. Mainly because my sister hated them. She always used to steal my ice cream out of the freezer so at some point I asked my parents to only buy me red bean popsicles. She never touched those,” you reminisced.

Jungkook laughed at your story, “Your sister sounds like a piece of work.”

“We used to fight a lot, we used to never get along,” you became thoughtful, “At some point that stopped. I think we just grew up and grew to understand and accept our differences. She doesn’t steal my food anymore. I don’t steal her clothes anymore. We may not always agree, but we respect each other’s decisions.”

“You know, for someone who just said she feels lost, you sound pretty self-reflected right now,” Jungkook mused, “Maybe you need to do the same as you did with your sister. Understand yourself and accept the differences of your past and present.”

You paused at this. He was right. You were so desperately trying to fend off these negative emotions that you never took the time to actually think. You were chasing an image that never existed. Not in the past nor in the present.

“You’re surprisingly good at giving advice. Thanks, Jungkook,” you said.

“Surprisingly? What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, offended. The glint in his eyes gave his teasing away.

Laughter pealed from you. Jungkook was captivated by the sound. He drank in the way your eyes creased with mirth and followed your fingers as they brushed back your hair.

Jungkook’s phone vibrated. “Oh shit!”

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, don’t worry. I was actually on my way to work and my boss is asking me where I am,” he said as he stuffed his phone back in his pocket.

Jungkook startled when you suddenly jumped up. “Then you should get to work! You should’ve said something sooner. I’m so sorry for keeping you here!”

“No, it’s really fine. I’ve done enough overtime. He won’t complain if I’m a few minutes late,” he said, “Are you feeling better?”

You ignored his question and pushed against his shoulders to get him out of the chair. “Go to work, Jungkook. I’ll be fine, your red bean popsicle did wonders,” you responded placatively.

When he still didn’t move, you grabbed his arm and pulled him back onto the main street. Jungkook’s skin scorched under your touch. “Go to work, Jungkook,” you said again with more emphasis.

“Are you sure…?” he asked, unwilling to let you out of his sight before he knew you weren’t just going cry again at the next street corner.

“I won’t burst into tears,” you said as if reading his mind. “You were right, I need to reconcile with myself. So I’ll go home, enjoy my dinner and think about who I am and who I want to be. And you,” you said giving him another gentle shove, “need to go to work.”

Jungkook saw the stubborn look on your face. He wondered if you realized you were using your teaching voice right now. You weren’t going to take no for an answer. “Okay fine, text me when you get home?”

You waved away his concerns. “Sure. Go already,” you said with a big reassuring smile. “See you tomorrow at school!” you added before you turned around and walked away.

“You’re late,” Yugyeom said as soon as Jungkook entered the store.

Jungkook gave Yugyeom a sheepish look and only muttered, “Yeah sorry, something came up on my way here.” Then he rushed past him to the back of the restaurant and changed into his uniform.

Once he came back out he noticed Yugyeom throwing him strange looks.

“What?”

“Your girlfriend says hi,” Yugyeom said with a hint of amusement.

“Who?”

Yugyeom gave Jungkook a meaningful look, “LatteIsHorse. She ordered pick up. I think she was hoping to meet you. She’s cute. She looks like she’s probably a college student around here.”

“I know,” was all Jungkook replied.

Yugyeom’s eyes bulged in curiosity, “You know? You know she’s cute or you know she’s a student? You never told me what actually happened that night!”

Jungkook gave him a tired look and said, “She didn’t recognize me. She wore a Yonsei hoodie, so I guess she goes there. Nothing else happened.”

“Hmm, that’s weird. She was asking for you today, so she definitely knows your name,” Yugyeom said.

“Who knows, maybe she was having a lot on her plate that day,” Jungkook said with a shrug. He wondered where you lived and if you already got home safely. “Why are you obsessing over this so much?”

“Man, do you know how painful it is to watch your sorry attempts at flirting? I’m just trying to help you out, mate,” Yugyeom quipped.

“I wasn’t flirting! I was just trying cheer someone up who was obviously feeling down! It’s called being a decent human being,” Jungkook exclaimed.

Yugyeom gave him the side eye, “Yeah, that’s still not gonna get you laid.”

[19/05 18:47 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]

1 Tangsuyuk (small) 1 Bibimbap ---------------- Note: JK-nim, I visited you at the store last week, but you weren’t there. TT-TT I hope you don’t think I’m weird, I just really like talking to you. You always manage to put a smile on my face when I’m having a hard day. We’re still friends, right?

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: JK ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (small) -- 13,000 1 Bibimbap -- 5,000

Total: 18,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! I’m sad that I missed your visit to our store. I’ll try harder the next time! I added some extra bulgogi to make up for it. :) Of course we’re still friends. I don’t wish any hard days upon you, but I’m glad to hear that my words have a healing effect. In case you ever need a friend to talk to, feel free to talk to me. 010-1234-5678.

The study sessions with Jungkook continued per usual. He still struggled and had frustrated outbursts from time to time, especially when you forced him to revise probability distributions. When you finally reached regression analysis, things became easier.

Although your sessions remained the same, something in your dynamic changed. The both of you became looser and more playful around each other. He wouldn’t clamp up anymore and you felt more at ease around him. You became friends. He never once mentioned that disasterous afternoon.

At home, on the evening of the incident, you shot Jungkook a text and slumped down on the couch. Your sister was out that night, so it was just you in the apartment. Normally, the eerie quiet would’ve unsettled you and you would’ve distracted yourself from your deafening thoughts. But that night you just let them scream, yell and tear at you.

It was an excruciating process, but in the end your head was clearer, your heart calmer. You still weren’t quite there yet, but at least you made a first step out of the endless pit of desperation.

There were other things you noticed about yourself. Gradually you realized you didn’t mind being on your own anymore. You rediscovered your love for drawing and created you own mandala art. You also learned to code your own website and now had a clickable version of your cv on the go. Although you made time for yourself, you weren’t a hermit. You went out for drinks with Jisoo and soon asked Namjoon to take you along to your university’s Math Club. There you met a lot of familiar faces that you’ve encountered in class but never talked to. With them you spent animated evenings discussing stimulating math problems and exchanging incredibly bad math puns.

You also started noticing things about Jungkook. He wasn’t as timid and shy as you initially thought. Once he got over his awkwardness, he turned out to be quite a cheeky and goofy guy. He teased you or told you silly jokes whenever you were on a break. Despite his obvious aversion for statistics, he still took your lessons very seriously. Diligently listening to your explanations and trying to solve the problems to the best of his abilities. His study-mode showed you other sides of him. The cute pout he had whenever he tried to hide his confusion. Or the two little ridges which formed between his eyes whenever he was concentrated and deep in thought. More often than not you fought the urge to smooth them out with your touch or even better, with a kiss.

“Is something wrong?” Jungkook asked when he caught you staring.

“No,” you quickly said, “I was just thinking that you don’t seem to have much trouble with regression analysis.”

“I don’t know, the relationship between the variables just makes much more sense,” Jungkook said.

You looked at him and considered, “Hmm, maybe you don’t need my tutoring anymore?”

Brief dismay crossed Jungkook’s face. “My finals are in three weeks. I think I’d still prefer if you helped me revise the earlier chapters,” he said, “Unless you need more time to study for your own finals.”

Being in college meant that you were always in dire need of more time. That constant nagging voice in the back of your head telling you to study was an occupational disease. But you didn’t have to kid yourself, those four hours a week spent on Jungkook weren’t going to make or break your grade. Besides, you enjoyed spending time with him. You wondered if he felt the same.

“It’s alright, I’ll help you revise. Just don’t embarrass me on your finals. I don’t want Namjoon to tell me afterwards that you didn’t manage to calculate the mean of the population or worse, read the scoring table upside down,” you teased him light-heartedly.

Jungkook’s ears turned bright red. “That happened once!” he said, “How long are you going to hold that over my head?”

You laughed at his indignation. “Don’t forget, you’ll get endless tangsuyuk if you pass.”

[26/05 20:09 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]

1 Tangsuyuk (small) 1 Jjamppong ---------------- Note: JK-nim, I’d like to get the advice of a friend. There’s this kind, sweet boy that I really like. I would like to tell him how I feel, but he’s seen me in my lowest and ugliest moments. Maybe he’ll think I’m just baggage? I guess I’m afraid of his rejection.

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: JK ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (small) -- 13,000 1 Jjamppong -- 5,000 1 Soju -- 0

Total: 18,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! It’s only human to fear rejection. I can completely understand. I also have someone I really like. She’s really pretty, smart and funny. Spending time with her makes me really happy, but I never managed to tell her. Maybe we should both gather our courage and cheer each other on? I’m not saying that drunken confessions are the way to go but consider this soju a symbolism for (liquid) courage.

Paper Note: This is a flexagon. Whenever you need a word of encouragement give it a flip!

Jungkook examined the hexagonal origami in his hands. On the outside it read ‘Flip Me!’

He gave the flexagon a flip. ‘JK you’re the best!’ And another. ‘The world needs more people like you!’ And another. ‘Don’t forget that LatteIsHorse is always rooting for you!’ And another. ‘Aja, aja, hwaiting!’ And another. ‘Thank you for being my friend!’

Jisoo barged into you room and flopped onto your bed. ‘Ahhh! I’m so glad you finally cleaned in here. Seriously, if I find another rancid noodle stuck to my clothes, I’ll call in a hazmat team.”

“I don’t know why you’re complaining so much. It’s not even your room,” you said.

“Hey, where are you ever going to find a friend like me?”

Your friend sacrificed many a night away from college parties to binge watch handsome oppas sweep equally beautiful unnies off their feet with you. And she wasn’t shy telling you that.

“Let’s go out tonight,” Jisoo suggested. She rolled back onto her feet and started walking around, inspecting your cleaning job.

“Our finals start in two weeks; I really don’t want to spend my weekend nursing a hangover.”

“I’m not saying you have to get wasted. Tonight is the Pre-Game Night. We have to go!” Jisoo demanded.

The Final’s Pre-Game Night was a campus-wide tradition. Every semester on the Friday a week before finals huge parties were thrown to signal the beginning of the end. It was like a dare – were you confident enough to get completely drunk and still hope to pass your finals? Naturally everybody on campus joined in and drank.

“Not getting wasted at a Pre-Game party? That’s like saying you’ve decided you don’t need to breathe. I really don’t think…”

“What’s this?” Jisoo suddenly interrupted. “LatteIsHorse-nim! Personally, I’m a dipper, but I don’t discriminate! I added some broth as service for you. It’s chilly tonight. Don’t catch a cold!” she read aloud, “LatteIsHorse-nim! Happy Children’s Day to you too! I added my favorite childhood drink, banana milk! I hope it brings back as many happy childhood memories for you as it does for me.”

You flung yourself across the room and almost tripped over your own feet trying to rip the receipts out of Jisoo’s hands.

“Oh. My. God. Is your take-out guy flirting with you?!” she asked.

“No! He’s just a friend. We send encouraging notes to each other,” you tried to explain.

Jisoo threw her hands in the air. “Okay that’s it! We’re going to the Pre-Game party, whether you want or not. You can’t tell me that the only flirting interaction you have is with a stranger who delivers you tangsuyuk!”

The place Jisoo picked out was ram packed and buzzing with energy. It was an open dorm party; all the common rooms were transformed into dancefloors. Different types of music played from each corner of the building. Crates of alcohol were stacked against the walls.

The both of you grabbed a beer and made your way through the crowd.

“You’re going to have fun tonight, alright?”

“I don’t think this works that way,” you laughed.

“Then put some effort into it. We look way too cute for it to go to waste,” she said as you roamed around the floors and explored the different areas. You looked down on your dress. It was a pretty warm night; you had opted for a flowy summer dress with a blush pink floral pattern. Jisoo was right, it was cute.

You discovered a familiar face at the edge of the crowd. “Sunbae!” you said.

Namjoon turned around gave you a surprised smile. “Y/N! Out of all the places on campus, we meet each other here tonight. What are the chances?”

He was surrounded by a group of friends, you spotted Jungkook right behind him. The boy gave you an excited wave. A slow smile spread across your face. “I don’t know, but why don’t we ask Jungkook to calculate it for you?”

Namjoon let out a hearty laugh while Jungkook groaned in exasperation.

“Do you see what I have to put up with every week, hyung?”

“Didn’t you just say it’s the best thing that happened to you?” Namjoon taunted, “You have some nerve showing up in front of me tonight. You better ace your SA finals. Do you know how many favors I had to pull to get Y/N to tutor you?”

“What do you expect me to do?” Jungkook sputtered, “Go home and lock myself up on Pre-Game Night?”

If it weren’t for Jisoo you would’ve done just that. Speaking of Jisoo, your friend cleared her throat and gave you a painful nudge in the side.

“Ah yes, uhm, Jisoo you already know Namjoon. This is Jungkook. You know, the guy I’m tutoring.”

Jungkook gave her a small wave.

Jisoo didn’t even try to hide her amazement. “This is Jungkook? But you’re like wayyy cute!” She turned to you and added still loud enough for everyone to hear, “Why didn’t you tell me he was cute?!”

The embarrassment was obvious on Jungkook’s face. You could tell that Namjoon was getting a rush out of his dongsaeng’s reaction and before he could provoke him any further you decided to jump in.

“Who wants to go dance?” you asked loudly. You turned around and headed to the dancefloor without waiting for any of them to respond.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were tutoring a hunk?” Jisoo muttered under her breath.

“He’s not a hunk. Don’t call him that.”

“Yeah but he’s hot. You made him sound like he was a nerd.”

“He is a nerd.”

Your friend gave you a glare, “Why are we arguing about this? I know you’re not that oblivious.”

Of course you weren’t oblivious to Jungkook, but you weren’t going to tell Jisoo that.

“Let’s dance.” You grabbed Jisoo’s hand and twirled her around.

Namjoon and his friends joined you on the dancefloor. The mood of the crowd was electric. Music pulsed through your veins. Drinks flowed, shots were downed, people pulled out their best, lamest, craziest dance moves. Everyone celebrated like the world was going to end.

After a while you became hot and needed a new drink. You looked around for Jisoo and saw her grinding up against one of Namjoon’s friends. She’d be busy for a while. You inconspicuously moved away from the group and decided to go get some fresh air.  

“Wait up,” Jungkook said as he appeared next to you, “are you getting something to drink? I’ll join you.”

His dark curls were slightly matted with sweat. His baggy t-shirt clung to his body. You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or Jisoo’s damn voice whispering into your ear. He was hot.

You circled your arm through his and pulled him through the crowd. His muscles shifted under your touch. You grabbed two drinks from a crate and handed one to Jungkook, your nerves tingled when his hand brushed against yours. The both of you remained in comfortable silence, leisurely walking through the dorm, neither of you in a hurry to get back to your friends. You explored the facility areas, weaving through pounding and quiet parts of the building.

“You look really nice tonight,” he said after a while.

The heels of your shoes echoed against marble floor of the dark hallway. “Thanks, Jisoo raided my closet.”

“She’s really something isn’t she?”

“She’s the best. I’m grateful to have her as my friend.”

Somewhere further down the hallway you made out two figures pressed against the wall, probably trying to find a quiet place of their own.

“You also look nice,” you said to Jungkook.

“I’m wearing the same things I always do,” Jungkook said, his voice turning shy.

You were getting closer to the couple. You could see how the guy was sticking his tongue down the girl’s throat. She seemed to enjoy it from the sounds she was making. Lucky them.

Your next words were definitely fuelled by your tipsy state, “I guess that means you always look nice.” Jungkook missed a step. You had to laugh at his blunder.

The couple in front of you broke apart and looked in your direction. More annoyed about being interrupted rather than embarrassed being caught. You were about to make a funny comment to Jungkook when your heart stopped and you froze.

A string of saliva still clung to the guy’s lips. His eyes widened when he recognized your face in the darkness. “Y/N?”

Your breath hitched and your grip tightened around Jungkook’s arm. He glanced between you and the guy, the situation slowly dawning on him.

“Why did you stop? Who’s that?”, the girl whined.

“No one,” the guy responded as he returned his attention to her and they started making out again.

Jungkook didn’t know if he wanted to puke or punch that guy. A sharp pain in his arm brought him back to his senses. Your nails dug into his skin. He put his hand around yours and loosened your iron grip.

“Let’s go,” he said and quickly pulled you past the couple. You followed him in a daze. He stopped once you were outside of the building, hidden away in a quiet corner.

His hands reached for your face and he lifted your eyes to his. “Breathe.”

You closed your eyes, let out a long breath and let your head fall against the wall behind you. The horrible encounter replayed in your mind. You had to open your eyes again.

There he was right in front of you. Worried Jungkook, kind Jungkook, beautiful Jungkook.

Your hands reached behind his neck and you pulled him a bit closer. You tried to decipher his gaze, it was dark and yearning. Everything was a haze, the alcohol in your blood made you daring.

“Kiss me,” you whispered.

His mouth crashed against yours. Your hands slipped up into his hair and your bodies entwined. You opened your lips and sucked in his hot breath. Your tongues found each other; he groaned at your taste.

He moved one of his hands down your side until he found purchase on your leg and hitched it up against his waist, pressing his body further into you. You let out a moan when his hips ground into yours.

All your senses drowned in Jungkook. You drowned in his scent, you drowned in his touch, you drowned in his heat. You tried to use Jungkook to drown out the grotesque image from before. Suddenly the heat of the moment disappeared, and a cold shower ran down your spine.

You broke away from your breathless kiss and put your hands against Jungkook’s chest to put some distance between you. He gave you a disoriented look.

“I’m sorry. We shouldn’t have kissed.”

Jungkook’s eyes grew wide and alarmed. “Did I do something wrong?”

His lips were swollen, his hair was mussed. You wanted nothing more than to pull him back in, but you couldn’t. Not here. Not like this. He deserved better.

You pushed yourself off the wall and gave him a small shove. He immediately let go of you and stepped back. “I shouldn’t have kissed you like this,” was all you said before you ran back into the building.

The next day you woke up to a splitting headache and a heart full of regret. You really needed to talk to Jungkook and explain to him why you ran away the previous night, but you were too much of a coward to pick up your phone and contact him. You decided it was better to talk to him in person at school.

The following week at school you waited for him in the library. Your heart was in your throat. Your prepared speech played in an endless loop in your head.

‘I’m sorry I ran away. I shouldn’t have kissed you in that state. It wasn’t fair to you. You deserve better than that.’

You looked down on your phone to check the time. A message blinked. You opened and read through it. Your heart sank. He wasn’t coming. He wanted to study the last week before finals on his own. He thanked you for your time.

Slowly you got up and packed your bag. You blew it. You wanted to do him right, but you only caused him pain. Thinking back, you realized he gave and gave and gave and all you did was take. He was right to stay away from you. There was no way he’d be happy with someone like you.

The week passed and finals week commenced. You immersed yourself in your exams and tried to get over your heavy heart. You were pretty sure you aced Geometry II, but the Numerical Analysis exam was nothing but a blur.

Although your heart ached, you didn’t fall back into the same dark pit of the past. You didn’t feel lost, you got on with your life. Nobody noticed the Jungkook-sized hole in your heart except for you. You wanted to talk about your feelings, but you didn’t think Jisoo or your sister would understand. They’d probably just tell you to get out there and find a new guy.

Another week passed. You were walking out of your professor’s office, finalizing the details of your summer internship, when you bumped into Namjoon.

“Y/N! What are you doing here? Aren’t you off for summer break yet?” he asked.

“I was just discussing my internship with Prof. Kim,” you said.

“Ah you’re participating in his research program?” Namjoon said, “I heard it’s really interesting, he’s intense though.”

“I think intense is fine for me, I need something to do with my brain. Otherwise I’ll just go crazy,” you said with a smile.

“Speaking of intense, what did you do to that kid?” Namjoon suddenly asked.

You tensed. Did something happen to Jungkook? “What do you mean?”

“Did you brainwash him or something? He got a 98 on his SA final! When I handed him over to you, he was still asking me why the positive and negative z-scores tables had different values,” Namjoon said in awe.

Relief washed through you and your chest filled with pride. “Watch out sunbae, I might be coming for your TA position,” you said with a wink.

At home you sprawled out on the couch. Your sister’s classes ended earlier than yours so now she was away with her friends travelling the countryside. Your mind wandered as you stared up at the ceiling of your quiet apartment. You really wanted to call Jungkook and congratulate him, but you didn’t think you should. He clearly didn’t want to be in contact with you, you hadn’t heard anything from him since his text canceling your study sessions.

A pang of sadness washed through you. It should have been a happy moment for the both of you, you should be eating tangsuyuk together right now. You really wanted to tell someone about your joy and your grief.

Then you suddenly remembered your friend. Your friend who never judged and always had something wise to say. Maybe he would understand the conflicts of your heart. You got up and dug through the receipts on your desk until you found the one with his phone number on it.

You hoped he wouldn’t think you were crazy, but then again, he was the one who offered himself to talk to you any time. You typed in the number and hit call. Your phone dialed when suddenly the number displayed switched to a name. Jungkook.

You quickly hit the cancel button and stared at your phone. Did you accidentally hit Jungkook’s contact? Was your phone broken? This time you typed in the number more carefully and hit call. Again, the display switched to Jungkook’s name. You hit cancel.

Your heart began to race. You opened up Jungkook’s contact and compared it with the number on the receipt.

Holy shit.

JK was Jungkook. Jungkook was JK.

The stranger who cheered you on and made you smile whenever you felt down was Jungkook. You combed through all your receipts and reread them one by one. What was the probability for this to happen? This was so bizarre, but it made so much sense. Jungkook was the kindest person you knew. Why wouldn’t he be kind to a stranger who needed some uplifting words and comforting tangsuyuk?

[13/06 18:20 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]

3 Tangsuyuk (large) 6 Jjajangmyeon ---------------- Note: JK-nim, I hope you’re doing well! Can I ask you for a strange favor? Would you mind delivering today’s order to me? I would really like to meet you and thank you in person for always being by my side! <3

<Ding Dong>

The doorbell rang. Your heart pounded painfully in your chest. You slowly walked up to the door and opened it.

“Delivery from Golden…,” Jungkook’s voice faltered.

“Hi JK-nim,” you said quietly. You opened the door wider. “Thanks for coming today.”

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” he asked.

You had to smile at his look of utter confusion. “I live here. Come in, you can put the food on the dining table.” You turned around and walked back into the apartment.

Jungkook hesitated before he followed you inside. He moved up to the table and unloaded his box. He tried to steady himself. “You’re LatteIsHorse-nim?” he asked skeptically, “I’ve been here before. Last time someone else opened the door.”

He has visited you before? “Oh, that was probably my sister. I live here with her. She’s out travelling right now.”

“So you’re on your own right now? Why did you order so much food?” he asked. A giant mountain of neatly stacked dishes graced the table.

You came up and pried the metal box out of his hand. Then you moved in front of him and unclasped his bike helmet. He flinched at your sudden closeness.

“To celebrate. Congratulations on passing your Statistical Analysis exam. Namjoon told me you passed in flying colors,” you said in a gentle voice. “I promised you the best Chinese take-out in town, didn’t I?”

Jungkook still looked shell-shocked and simply stared at you.

“I’m sorry about that night at the Pre-Game party. I’m sorry I ran away. I owe you an explanation.”

Jungkook regained his wits and swallowed. “It’s okay, you don’t have to explain yourself. I get it, we were drunk. It was a mistake.” He looked down and tried to turn back around.

You grabbed onto his hands before he could move away. “Jungkook, look at me.”

He stopped turning, but his eyes remained on the floor.

You took a deep breath and squeezed his hands. “I really like you. I’ve really liked you for a while now.”

His eyes shot up to your face.

“The reason why I ran away that night was because I felt guilty. I probably would’ve ended up kissing you anyway, but in that moment, I kissed you because I wanted to forget. I didn’t want our first kiss to be like that. I wanted it to be the me who liked you and not the me who tried to drown out her shitty ex-boyfriend. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

There was an unreadable look in his eyes. Your heart fluttered in nervousness. “How long have you known I was JK? How long did you know I had a crush on you?” he asked.

You could feel your blood rushing through your ears, the butterflies in your stomach beat like crazy. “Since today. I was sad because I thought I couldn’t share the promised meal with you. I wanted a friend to talk to, so I thought to call you. You who was always kind to me, even when I wasn’t kind to myself. Isn’t fate strange? We cheered each other on to find each other.” You had to laugh at the irony of it all.

Your hand hesitantly moved up to his face and stroked across his cheek, “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I made you sad.”

Jungkook melted against your touch. “If I’m never sad, I won’t know when I’m happy.” Then he closed the gap and pressed his lips against yours.

It was a sweet but sad kiss. Filled with happiness and sorrow. Every touch was filled with an ‘I missed you’ or an ‘I’m sorry’.

Jungkook pressed you against the edge of your dining table, he lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist. You both deepened your kiss. Your hands snaked through his hair and pulled him closer into you. Jungkook braced his hands against the table and instinctively ground his hips against your core. You moaned his name at the sensation. The both of you broke apart to catch your breaths, you pulled at his jacket and removed his layers of clothing.

You stilled at the sight of his bare chest. He was truly beautiful. Your fingers traced along his skin and marvelled at its silkiness. Jungkook shuddered under your touch. His hands moved under your shirt and you both lifted it off your head. Then you gripped his hands and slowly led them around your back, urging him to take off your bra. You wriggled out of your jeans and laid yourself completely bare in front of him. Jungkook stopped and stared at you, equally amazed.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.

Your heart swelled and you pulled him back into a kiss. Both his kisses and his hands left a burning trail down your body. His mouth sucked on the soft skin of your neck while his hands moved across your breast, across your stomach, lower and lower. Wetness gathered between your legs.

“Jungkook,” you sighed. The muscles of his back shifted under your touch.

He released your neck with a loud smack and looked at the artwork he created. He still couldn’t get over how overwhelmingly beautiful you were. Your cheeks flushed, eyes bright and his name at the tip of your tongue. He felt himself strain against his confines.

“Please,” you whimpered. You looked down at his hand and tried to silently command him to touch you.

He kept his eyes trained on your face when his fingers moved lower and slid through your folds. Another moan left your lovely lips. He teased you with his touches, gathering your wetness until he finally pushed down where you wanted him most. Your hands dug into his back, your hips bucked, and you threw your head back in pleasure. He steadied your hips with his other hand and slowly pushed a finger inside of you. Another loud moan echoed through the room.

Jungkook was transfixed by you. He added a second finger and started pushing in and out. Your eyes squeezed shut in pleasure and small breathless pants left your mouth. Jungkook increased the speed of his movement and marvelled at the way you reacted under his touch. Then he moved his mouth to your breast and closed his lips around your nipple. You raked your hands through his hair and arched into him. Your core tightened around his fingers. All your nerves were on fire.

You pulled him away from your breast and guided his mouth back to yours. Your tongue traced his lips and you swallowed his moan. You wanted more, you wanted him closer. His fingers curled and his thumb pressed down on you. Jungkook held you tight as you shuddered and fell apart around him.

He rested his forehead against yours, your breath mingled as you both panted into each other. He slowly removed his hand from you and traced his mouth with his slicked fingers, then he moved them to your lips. Your tongue licked the tips of his fingers. His grip tightened around your waist.

“I want to feel you,” you said.

Jungkook shuddered at your words. “Where is your room?”

“The door behind you.”

Jungkook lifted you off the table, you tightened your legs around him and gave him another kiss. He walked you both to your room and gently laid you down on your bed. He took off his pants, then slowly moved onto the bed and hovered above you.

“Tell me what you want,” he said.

Your fingers caressed his face. “I want you to be happy.”

Another shudder ran through him. “I am happy. What else?”

You traced his eyes, his nose, his lips. “I want to be the one making you happy.”

Jungkook couldn’t contain himself anymore. His heart felt like it was about to explode. He covered your body with his and pressed himself into you. Your eyes rolled back as he entered you slowly. You felt so full you wanted to burst out of your skin. You could feel how the Jungkook-sized whole in your heart filled up again.

He rocked into you and took your breath away. Your nails raked across his back and left red lines against his smooth skin. Jungkook ducked his head into the crook of your neck and moaned against your skin. Every pull dragged pleasure out of you, every push brought you closer together.

You wanted more. Jungkook gave you more.

You wanted him closer. Jungkook pushed deeper into you.

With every moan, Jungkook pushed harder, pushed deeper. He wanted to melt into you. He wanted the lines between you and him to disappear. Your desire was his desire. His pleasure was your pleasure.  

Jungkook could feel you tightening around him. He moved his mouth over yours and gave you an ardent kiss. The light of your desire turned brighter and brighter until it burst apart into a thousand little flames. You cried against his lips and let the heat consume you. Your body pulsed around his and the overwhelming sensation brought him right over the edge with you.

The both of you laid on your bed and clung to each other. Neither of you willing to let the other go. Your pounding chests beat in tandem. Jungkook stroked his hand across your hair and kissed your head.

“I want you to be happy too,” he said.

“I know,” you said as you smiled against his chest, “You make me happy.”

Jungkook pulled you tighter into him and you remained silent for a while. His hand traced lazy patterns against your skin. Your breathing evened out.

“Are you allergic to pineapple?” he suddenly asked.

You looked up at him in surprise. “No. Why?”

“Because you always order tangsuyuk without pineapple.”

“Oh. That’s because my sister hates pineapple.”

Jungkook frowned, you pulled yourself up and kissed the little ridges between his eyes.

“What?” you asked.

“I think the jjajangmyeon is all soggy by now,” he said.

You had to laugh. “Probably, but the tangsuyuk should still taste great.”

Jungkook kissed you with a smile. “You’re right, tangsuyuk always tastes great.”

°°°°°°°

02/05/20

Copyright © 2020 full-of-jams. All Rights Reserved. Do not copy, repost or translate without permission.

#jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook fluff #bts fluff #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #jungkook au #bts au #jungkook fanfic #bts fanfic #jungkook imagine #bts imagines #jungkook x y/n #bts x y/n #jungkook #jungkook fanart #bts fanfction #fluff #smut #tangsuyuk love

[zu-is-here]

Bit of a late reply, but (sorry)

Oh it truly sounds like alot of fun to me! I definitely want to do that some day! I can imagine how it hurts the legs though.

Zu!! XD oh dear i can just imagine the sitcom laugh track. Atleast you tried XD what a fun game though.

Thanks zu! I'm really happy with how it turned out!

Yessss best discount. Bought by a man who didn't know they were ladies boots, and then wanted them gone. Never warn, and I love them! They are my babies! I've never been a fan of brands myself, but these are knee high boss boots, Shattered Dream could neverrrr

Those converse where a steal though! I hope they are comfortable.

It's true, it's true and it didn't work. I've seen French frys being dipped in milkshakes for a sweet and salty thing, but this wasn't that. Just so bad, it's hard to discribe.

Yeah, it was so busy, and it's not going to stop there, we have just left quite season, so the hours and the shifts are gonna pick up! Gonna be busy busy busy.

That's good! *hugsss*

Henry is alright, yesterday mum put a pillow on his head, and he didn't shake it of for atlest 2 minutes lol

How's kosker?

How has your days been lately?

It's alright! I'm not really on time either xp

It's worth it all! <3 It's good that there are also indoor skating rinks where you can skate regardless of the weather and season *w*

For real! :'D Fun indeed <3 There was another game as well but for professionals, "dodgeball": you have to ride from one part of the rink to another without getting caught, and that was crazy :'D

BTW congrats on finishing the Dark Cream week preparations!! \(//∇//)\ A whole week early omg, I'm so excited to see your artworks! ☆ Please have a good rest <3

Woahhh these should be grrreat! (人 •͈ᴗ•͈) Yep, hope they're comfortable too *^*

Such an experience x) Hopefully you get more nice & sweet desserts after that! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

How's it going with the work now? (ﾟ∀ﾟ) Please get enough rest and good luck to you! ☆ *hugsss*

WOW that's willpillower heheh! ᕦ(òwóˇ)ᕤ Good old grumpy lady's doing good too, is sleeping and purring next to me <3

The week's been really busy yet great! \(//∇//)\ And tasty since it's Maslenitsa (Butter Week) here *w* It was my first time making blini (pancakes) for others aaand I made them pink to impress them! ♪ Can you guess the mysterious ingredient? ;)

*is waiting patiently for the treat heh <3*

What about you? ♡

UPD:

Yep!! Finally a day off :'D I missed you too! (〃ω〃)

Oh no need to rush, take all your time <3 And bone appetit! ;D

Yesss!! Pretty risky one tho, especially on ice :'D

I'm more than sure you did great╰(*´︶`*)╯☆

Hoo boi— get ready and have a nice & peaceful tone before it! (úwù)

The work's been good, thanks <3 We had a work day yesterday so to rest tomorrow cause International Women's Day is coming! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)✿ So it's been a looong week before the long awaited weekend xp

OH you do celebrate the similar one too! *0* Omg calamari?? XD Guess the main thing here is the taste so if it was good, it's all as planned! ;D

The first attempt has failed xp But then yep! ☆ Thank youuu <3 That international look! :'D

Nooo but this looks so delicious! (*´﹃｀*) Was it for some event? How long did it take? *^*

Yesss their meat balls are the best! You're right on time actually — IKEA has stopped working here too! :') They said it's just for three months but man I already miss them,,, Oh boi how did you get lost. XD

A private art event?? So fancy! (//∇//)˚✧₊⁎ I have, and it's so beautiful indeed! They say the body should be perceived as a single canvas but you're oh so right... Lucky you tho! *^*

It's alright! <3 And the things are going good here (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) Social networks are blocked here now and many shops are closed but it doesn’t look as scary as they say, life goes on as long as vpn works xd

The only thing is Paypal and Patreon, cause all the money is blocked as well but vpn doesn't help here since it's banks' transfers :') It was the only source of income for many Russian artists... hopefully everything settles down and gets better for them ♡

Awww thanks a lot!ヾ(≧∪≦*)ノ〃 It's Oil Marker (Square), you can try it too! *^* I didn't expect it to be much simpler and to look much cooler (*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)

Sticky & tricky ;D Thank you <3 Was Killer's signature tank top the one to blame? ;) Cross was the most fun to draw, while Dream is the one I've been thinking a lot... he def has skeletons in his closet (ﾟωﾟ)

It's so cool when every day is a little weekend (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) Thank youuu╰(*´︶`*)╯

At least you tried something new! ☆ Gotta try as well sometime for surrre *^* Oh just an hour! That's not too much (*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)

Lemon?? (°▽°) That's something interesting to try! Cause here, we mostly have everything else on them like cheese & ham, potatoes & mushrooms, fish / chicken, caviar, jam or nutella... Yummy *w*

Pfff cruel! XD

Awww their ice cream (*´﹃｀*) And hotdogs!! Gotta try it as soon as they're opened again >:3

Oh wow! *0* Heheh, still such a cool experience! ☆

Thank youuu (ówò) Politics, politics :')

*hugsss* Hope so <3

Ouff I feel you! My first update was like "wait I want my things back!! :'D" but now I don't even remember the changes, so used to it <3

All thanks to Lyra for the niccce idea ;)

#updated #ask #zu is happy #Koshka

[headheartbellarke]

Paper Rings | OWEN JOYNER

Requested by anon: “Owen request? A series of events that leads Owen to finally working up the courage to propose to his girlfriend?” PAIRING(s): Owen Joyner x fem!reader WARNING(s): some language, mentions of abuse, panic attack, anxiety, and fluff haha WORDS: 3.7k SUMMARY: Five times Owen almost asks his girlfriend to marry him, and one time he actually does.

0.

    Charlie looks around, feeling out of place amongst the big mirrors, bright lights, and the sparkling diamonds. When his best friend, Owen, told him that he wanted a ‘guys night’ (he’s still unsure as to why he wants to have one: they live together, it’s guys’ night every night – he was expecting bars, or clubs, or fancy restaurants; things they don’t get to do every night, because of work. But he definitely wasn’t expecting to be dragged into a jewellery store.

  “O, buddy, what are we doing here?”

  Owen shushes him, walking ahead to a counter. A woman with kind eyes greets him. “Mr. Joyner!”

  He smiles, familiarity pooling in his eyes.

  Charlie frowns. He didn’t expect Owen to be into jewellery – sure, he buys stuff for his sister and mother, but he always takes them with him.

  He thinks of Y/N, Owen’s girlfriend of about five years – there’s a possibility that he may be buying something for her, but it’s highly unlikely. Y/N has been pretty vocal about the fact that she hates diamonds, and who’s to blame her, really? Her father used to buy her mother a diamond necklace after every time he hit her or when he came home smelling of another woman’s perfume.

  Charlie exclaims, “Owen! I’m gonna die if you don’t tell me what’s going on!”

   “I know, I know.” He shushes him, again, and Charlie feels like a child, even though he’s older than the blonde boy. Owen turns to the woman in front of him, Miranda, as her name tag reads, and says, “I hope it’s ready.”

  She nods, excitedly. “Yes! I have it right here with me.”

  She disappears beneath the counter, and Charlie expects her to return with a big box, like a magician’s apprentice. But, instead, she emerges with a small, tiny box and he wonders –

  As realization dawns upon him, he feels a rush of euphoria. “Oh my god, are you –”

  Owen nods, his face aglow with anticipation, hope and adoration. “I – I walked into this store a couple of weeks ago, after I decided that I wanted to marry her, I mean, I’ve known it for a while, you know? I can’t see myself being with anyone but her for the rest of my life, and I want a family with her. She’s my soulmate, dude. And I – I think it’s the right time, too. She’s got that amazing job, and my career’s going great, so, yeah. I wanna marry her.”

  Charlie sniffs, feeling tears at the back of his eyes. “Bro.”

  His friend grins. “Bro.”

  Charlie pulls him into a hug, but Owen pushes him away, and they swat each other’s hands for a second before Owen whisper shouts, “Do you wanna see the ring or not?!”

  Charlie’s eyes widen and he nods. They turn to the woman in front of them, and she points to the box placed on the counter before them. “If you’re ready.”

  Owen nods, and Charlie feels amazed at the determination clouding his irises. He opens the box, and the Canadian boy gasps.

  Inside sits a simple platinum ring. Except at the middle, there’s a diamond shaped like a star. It’s so beautifully built, every edge looking like they’re fit to cut steel. And the entire ring – it’s so simple, yet beautiful, and Charlie knows why he picked it.  

  It’s a mirror of the way Owen sees Y/N – something gorgeous, something priceless, something elegant, yet something so simple to him, and something that will always makes sense, no matter what.

1.

    Owen inhales, staring at his reflection in the full body length mirror in front of him. He’s going to do it today – he is going to ask his best friend, his soulmate and the love of his life to marry him. He has planned it all – even Charlie went out with the rest of the cast tonight to give the twenty-three-year-olds some privacy. (Charlie, Y/N, and Owen live together in Vancouver, at least while shooting the fourth season of Julie and The Phantoms, so, as one can guess, it’s really difficult to get a moment alone – but since the both of them love Charlie so fucking much, they don’t really mind.)

  He straightens his tie and hears soft footsteps in the hallway outside his room. Y/N’s head pokes in, her face lit up like Christmas lights.

   “Don’t you look sharp!” She says, while walking up to him and wrapping her arms around his torso. Owen smiles, catching her eyes in the reflection. “Are the bad puns ever going to stop?”

  She gasps, dramatically, and exclaims, “You don’t gotta be so mean about it!”

  He shakes his head, and feels love swell in his chest for the woman behind him. “I love you so much, you know that, right?”

  A mischievous glint appears in her eyes. “I could use a reminder.”

  Owen grins, turning backwards and cups her face in his hands, about to kiss her, when a voice stops him.

  “I think I just broke the coffee machine!”

  Y/N’s eyes widen, and she yells, “You did what?!”

  Owen’s brows furrow. “Is that –”

  She casts him an apologetic glance. “Zoe, yeah. I forgot to tell you, but Cece had to go out last minute, so I offered to watch her for the evening!”

  Usually, Owen loves kids, especially Y/N’s cousins like Zoe, but right now, he feels like jumping off a cliff. She seems to sense that as she runs her hands down his arms, and says, “I’m sorry! I know you said that tonight was gonna be just us, but you love Zoe, don’t you? And it’s gonna be fun, I promise!”

  It’s not. Owen had booked a table at Y/N’s favorite restaurant in Vancouver, and he would have proposed midway through the dinner, when the musicians there would start to play ‘Love Story’ by Taylor Swift, and when they got to the bridge, he would have dropped to a knee.

  Ignoring the weight in his chest, he plasters a smile on his face. “Yeah. Yeah. I’m sorry, I just – it’s been a while since we’ve been alone, you know? With work and all. But I’m sure it’s gonna be great with Zoe, too!”

  She nods. “Thank you. We can go out alone next week when Charlie has that photoshoot with Madi!”

  He nods. “Absolutely.”

  The little black box stays hidden in the pocket of the beige coat in his closet that he never wears.

2.

    As Y/N smiles at him, Owen thinks that this is it. This is the moment he’s gonna ask her to marry him.

  As the light from the fire illuminates her face, he thinks about how perfect this weekend has been. After long days, and even longer nights of filming, they finally got a weekend off, and Charlie immediately booked a cabin in North Vancouver.

  And there’s no one better at planning trips than Charlie.

  Along with Owen, Y/N, and Charlie; Madison, Jadah, Jeremy and his wife, Carolynn, Savannah, Sacha, and Tori are here, too, everyone basking in the peace. Throughout the weekend, they’ve done anything and everything they can do in snow – from skiing, to making snow angels, and finally, as the shades of evening rolled on the last day of their trip, they are tired.

  After dinner, everyone wordlessly returned to their rooms, and Owen knows that they’re all fast asleep, right now – except Y/N, who is still as bubbly as champagne.

  When they returned to their room, Y/N quickly lit the fire – because no matter if it’s snowing or if it’s fifty degrees outside – she is always freezing.

  It’s the opposite in Owen’s case, though – he’s always warm, and that’s why Y/N wasted no time to settle in his lap.

  Owen quickly pats his pocket to check if the ring’s still there. It is, and it’s been there for the whole weekend. He’s been searching for opportunities, but they were always either with someone, or it wasn’t a good time.

  “O?” She asks, her voice soft.

  “Hmm?” He replies, threading his fingers through her hair.

  Her eyes brighten up, putting the fire in front of them to shame. “I’ve just had an idea.”

  “Later. First, I have something to ask you.” He says, his hand reaching into his pocket again.

  She smiles. “I know what you’re gonna ask.”

  Owen’s surprised. “You do?”

  She nods excitedly. “Yeah. Charlie told me!”

  He must have had a horrified look on his face because her eyes widen quickly. “Oh, he didn’t want to, believe me! But, now that I know, tell me, when are you gonna do it?”

  Owen stammers, suddenly feeling breathless in this room. The anxiety starts to pool in his stomach, along with an anger, directed towards Charlie. “I – I – I can’t believe he told you this…”

  She shrugs. “You know that he can’t hide anything from me. He’s like the brother I never asked for. Anyway, so he was showing me some of the designs, and I love you, but I don’t think you can handle a tooth piercing.”

  Owen’s brows furrow. “What?”

  “Like, totally no offence, but you passed out when the dentist came to do a routine check up on your teeth. I don’t wanna imagine what would happen if you got them pierced.”

  “What are talking about?!”

  “Charlie and your matching piercings, dummy! What else would I be talking about?” She looks at him as if he’s grown a third head.

  Owen’s lips part. “We are not getting matching piercings – I wasn’t gonna ask you that!”

  “Oh!” Her eyes widen. “What were you gonna ask, then?”

  He gulps, thinking to himself – this is it. This is it. This is it.

  “Do you wanna go home for New Year’s?”

  He mentally curses when that question comes out of his mouth, and even with Y/N’s bright smile, he starts to feel queasy inside, knowing that he still isn’t confident enough to actually ask her.

3.

    Owen wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans and stands up. “Y/N, I have to tell you something.”

  She nods, her eyes sweeping across the mostly empty LA beach. He brought her here today to finally ask her to marry him – his past attempts have been nothing short of disastrous.

  As he opens his mouth, he feels a pang in his heart, and his mind starts to race. All kinds of thoughts race through his mind, like – what if she says no? what if she hates him for ruining what they have? What if Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift becomes his most relatable song? What if she –

  Y/N stands up, and her hand finds that of Owen’s, a reassurance, and he knows that she can sense his anxiety. She doesn’t ask him to talk about it – she knows that he will, eventually, when he’s ready. For now, she shows him that she’s here for him, and somehow that is enough.

  As she brushes his hair, his mind starts to calm down, his erratic breathing slowing down and involuntarily matching the pace of her breathing. She whispers, softly, “You’re okay. You’re safe. Everything is okay. You’re okay. I love you. I love you –”

  She keeps repeating that, until it’s like a mantra in Owen’s head, turning the racing thoughts to mere background noise.

  He opens his eyes, and looks into hers, and finally feels calm. He exhales. “That… uh....”

  She nods, comfort flooding through her eyes. “I know, baby. But it’s okay. You’re safe now.”

  He shakes his head, taking his hand in hers. “I – I – I think that maybe you and I should, uh, get – um, matching tattoos. Yeah. That’s what I wanted to ask you.” He lies.

  She nods enthusiastically. “Yes! Of course. You don’t even have to ask – we’ve always talked about it, and I think that now is the perfect time! Do you wanna –”

  As Y/N talks about designs, he thinks that he’s a fucking coward.

4.

    As Owen laughs, he feels confident, for once. He knows that tonight he’ll be able to ask her to marry him, especially in front of all his family – he loves his family, and so does Y/N and vice versa. He remembers the first time he brought her home three months after they’d started dating. He remembers feeling absolutely euphoric about the fact that she fit right in with his family. That was also the day that she had told him, for the first time, that she loves him.

  He looks around the table, and watches Y/N talk animatedly to his mother. His parents think of her as their own daughter, especially after finding out about her rocky relationship with her father. Y/N’s mother sits next to Owen, and he loves how carefree she looks – her ex-husband, really, was an asshole.

  He takes the little box out of his pocket, and his cousin, Elias, gasps. “Is that an engagement ring?” He whispers, his face scrunching as if the sentence left a bad taste in his mouth.

  Owen nods. “Yes. Elias, I would appreciate it if you kept it down.”

  His cousin raises his hands. “Always, homie.”

  He rolls his eyes. “Right.”

  Elias looks around. “Hey, do you think that it’s a good idea to propose now?”

  “What do you mean?” Owen’s brows furrow.

  “I mean people do it in private for a reason. What if she says no and then you get embarrassed in front of your entire family and hers? It’s sympathetic looks for the rest of your life, bro. And your parents wouldn’t be able to talk to her, nor to her mom, ‘cause it’d be, ya know, friggin’ embarrassing. Everyone’s probably gonna hate you.”

  Owen’s eyes widen, and he toys with the truth in his cousin’s words. Elias shrugs, and takes a sip of his water. “But it’s up to you, dude.”

  Slowly, Owen slides the ring back into his pocket.

5.

    Owen looks around, checking if any distractions could be in this room. None. How could it, though? He’s standing in an empty classroom, in the middle of winter break. Nobody in their right minds would be here.

  Well, that would mean that Owen’s not in his right mind. To be really, really, really honest – he is kind of losing it. He has been trying to propose to Y/N for the past month, but every time – every god damn time, something comes up and ruins everything.

  So, he decided to break into his middle school. Well, ‘break into’ isn’t the right phrase – he asked the guard to give him the keys for the night, and even thanked him with a hundred dollar note. Unlike his girlfriend, he’s incapable of breaking rules.

  The guard thought that it was very romantic of him, but really, he’s just tired and wants to get married already. He taps his foot anxiously, and finally hears the door opening, signalling Y/N’s arrival.

  God, she looks absolutely adorable. Her nose is crimson from the cold, and she is bundled under what seems to be ten layers of clothing. She huffs, grinning when she notices him.

  “Are we here to make out? Because your house was much more comfortable and so, so warm.”

  Owen shakes his head. “Nope.”

  “Well, are you gonna murder me, O? Because, well, it’s certainly the perfect location.”

  “I have to tell you something.” He says, taking a step toward her. He looks around and sees that there is nothing that could possibly ruin this moment, and smiles brightly, preparing himself. Y/N’s eyes gleam with anticipation, as she nods for him to continue.

  “Y/N, I still remember the day that I met you. I remember the way you smiled at me even though I had spilled black coffee all over you and ruined your very pretty, white dress.”

  She laughs. “I was really mad at first, yeah. But the cutest boy in all of Oklahoma was in front of me, and well, you know that I was a goner.”

  He smiles fondly. “And the beautifulest girl in the world was in front of me.”

  “That’s not a word.”

  “I know. And then you laughed at my dumb jokes, and even agreed to go on a date with me.”

  “To compensate for that absolutely gorgeous dress.” She clarifies, a teasing smile on her face.

  He grins sheepishly. “And then somehow, somewhere we fell in love, and somehow, you became my other half, and somehow, I can’t imagine a world without you. I don’t want to. You are my best friend, and you are the one person around whom I can be completely myself and face no judgements.”

  “No, I do judge you. You’re a little questionable.”

  “And what would I do without your wicked sense of humour?”

  “Honestly? You’d be lost without me. I mean, you forget to even put your socks in the washing machine.”

  “You’re not supposed to wash them. They go on your feet. Obviously.”

  “That is disgusting, and you know it.”

  He laughs. “I wanna be with you for the rest of my life, and I… I… I want a family with you, you know? I know that we’ve never talked about this, and I don’t know how you would feel about one, but still, if you’re up for it, I’m too. But, if you don’t, that’s okay, too. More than okay.”

  For a moment, an unrecognizable expression crosses her face, and he wonders if he’s hurt her. But then the biggest smile blooms on her face.

  “We should have talked about this. But I would like a family with you, too. I mean, I’ve never really wanted one, and you know why. But, after seeing you and your family, I realized that a part of me does want it. I do want to have the home that I never got to have with you and I wanna do better. I know that you’ll be an amazing dad, and I wanna raise my kid the way that kids should be raised. And I want it with no one else but you.”

  Owen feels as if he’s on cloud nine, and he stares at her for a moment, wondering how lucky he is to find a girl like her. He says, “Y/N, I –”

  Before he can ask her the question, though, her ringtone cuts through the silence of the empty classroom. She whispers an apology and takes her phone out from her jeans pocket.

  She accepts the call and speaks into the phone. “Hey, Luka, what’s up? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. Luka, slow down.”

  She exchanges a panicked look with Owen.

  Speaking of Owen, he’s losing it. Absolutely. He was so close. And for the first time, he had both confidence and hope. And something had to happen. He starts to feel annoyed at Luka, his sister, and then immediately feels bad about it, but then starts to feel annoyed again.

  “Oh no, you did what? Do you need me to come?”

  At Y/N’s last sentence, Owen bursts out. “Oh, for fuck’s sake!”

  Y/N raises her brows at him. He feels anger replacing all his emotions, anger towards the world, it’s timings, and mostly, towards himself.

  Sensing his rage, Y/N gives him a weird look. “What is wrong with you?” She whispers.

  “Everything. Everything is wrong!” He whispers back.

  He starts to feel breathless, and the familiar sensation of a panic attack starts to overcome him. He looks around, trying to focus on something, anything, when he spots the door.

  He looks at his girlfriend, and says, “I love you, but I’m gonna lose it.” With that, he walks by her, and out the doors, while she yells after him.

+1.

    It’s been twenty minutes since he last talked to Y/N, and he has lost all hope. He’s now sitting on a park bench a couple of minutes away from the school, and he is listing all the reasons why his life is absolutely shit.

  “Hey, you okay?”

  Owen looks up, and notices Y/N walking up to the bench, with a concerned look in her eyes.

  “I – I just… I’ve been trying to ask you something, Y/N, for the past month. And every time I try to do it, I’m either interrupted, or I’m not confident enough. And, today, there were no distractions, and I was finally feeling confident and hopeful and then my sister decides to ruin it – is she okay, by the way?”

  She nods and sits down beside him. “Yeah, she misplaced her dress for tonight.”

  He grits his teeth in annoyance. He loves her, but his sister has the worst timing.

  Y/N rests a hand on his, an odd look taking over her features. “You should know by now that the answer will always, and obviously be a yes.”

  Owen sharply turns towards her. “What?”

  A brilliant smile makes its way onto her face. “You are gonna propose, aren’t you?”

  A gasp involuntarily escapes him. “How’d you know?”

  “Well, you just said some pretty nice things about me. Also, I can see the outline of the ring box, and you keep checking your pocket for it every two minutes, even if you don’t realize it. You’re literally doing it right now.”

  In his defence, he wasn’t, or rather, isn’t consciously doing it. He slowly retracts his hand from his pocket and gives her a sheepish smile.

  She stands up. “Really, O, are you gonna do it or not –”

  “Yep, yep, yep.” He clears his throat and stands in front of her and drops to a knee. He takes the ring out, and flips open the box, and as the diamond’s reflected light dances across her face, Y/N gasps.

  “Oh my god, that’s gorgeous!”

  He grins. “I have great taste.”

  She smiles teasingly. “I know, baby.”

  “Will you ma–”

  “Yes! Yes, yes, yes!”

  “You didn’t even let me finish!”

  “Someone would’ve probably interrupted you and I couldn’t take the chance of you losing your shit again.”

  “You do have a point.”

  “I always do.”

  He slides the ring onto her finger, and she kneels in front of him to match their heights. She wraps her arms around his neck, and he wraps his around her waist, both desperate to be closer, closer, closer.

  “I love you so much.” He whispers into her hair, and she kisses his shoulder.

  “I love you. Forever.”

  She untangles herself from him, and as she kisses him, Owen realizes that he had no reason to be worried at all.

[MASTERLIST]

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Transcript of End of the Road Special

Transcript of End of the Road Special. 

Please let me know if I made any errors in transcription. Twitter version Family Don’t End with Blood Transcription Winchester Mythology Transcription

Dabb: Ultimately, we came up with something that we're all very proud of Singer: You never know what the audience is going to like so we really tried to say "what would make us happy? Would we be satisfied with where we've taken them?"

The Carry On song was a guideline.

Singer: The myth of what these brothers were throughout 15 years... We didn't shy away from fatalism, but we wanted to be able to have it be kinda uplifting as well.

Dabb: If you're going to do something that feels like a complete arc, you have to kinda go back to the beginning of it (clips of them hunting vamps from s1 & 15.20) When it comes to Sam & Dean- it's all about getting back to, in some ways, these two guys on the road in this car.

Dabb: They've been doing this job for 15 years now. They've fought everyone from demons to vampires to God himself, but at the end of the day, they're still working guys, out there on the road & taking cases. We've tried to never lose sight of that.

Dabb: There are times when we've been wrapped up in our own mythology a little bit. We've always tried to get back to the basics, which are: these two guys, saving people, hunting things. 

Eugenie: I think we sort of knew generally what the ending would involve.

Eugenie: We might not have known the mechanics, but we sort of knew there would be a victorious, glorious sacrificial ending bc I think sacrifice is a big theme in the series.

For every great thing you do, a cost must be paid.

Singer: Andrew & I talked about it. We were in agreement pretty quickly... talked to the rest of the writing staff & let them know what we wanted to do and we were open to suggestions. And then we pretty much pitched it to Jared and Jensen.

Jensen talks about flying to LA. Jensen: So before we ever even started 15, we knew how the last portion of the story was going to go. We didn't know how we were going to get there, but we kinda knew the final- the finish line- we knew what... what that was going to look like.

Jared: I don't think there's ever been a season of SPN in 15 years where the way the writers thought the show would play out for that season- ended up being the way it played out And so we were aware of that. They told us here's what we're thinking, here's what happens to Castiel

Jared: In the finale, Dean dies & Sam lives on. And then we think they're going to meet up in heaven. 

I remember Jensen... just because I know him so well- he seemed to bristle a little bit.

Jensen: It was hard to hear then & it was hard to read now. Not because I didn't like it, not because I wished it had gone differently... I'm not adverse to it. I think it's a great ending. I'm proud to film it.

Singer: And we just aimed for that, you know, throughout the season. We knew where we were going.

Jensen: Reading it & knowing that... there's just a weight that is so much larger reading these scripts than I've ever experienced before. 

There's an emotional weight that these scripts are going to carry & these episodes are going to have that I don't think we've ever seen before.

Brad: [J2] were so young when all of this started. They brought to it such conviction & such commitment to the effort. 

That's one of the things that kept the show going for so many years... a show that was designed for very young guys, footloose & fancy free, & on the road…

Brad: To see these guys grow up b4 your eyes into- men, not boys any longer- was amazing. 

BABY Jared: Though the story does involve Sam & Dean chasing supernatural things, it really is a story about two brothers that love each other & ultimately will do anything for each other.

Jensen: There's really one person that gets it on the level that I get it, and that's Jared. Jared: I've never spent as much time with another human being as I have with Jensen Ackles. He will be my friend and brother forever. And I know that.

BABY Jensen: There's a lot of dynamics between the two brothers, there's a lot of history between them, there's a lot of banter between them... it's good stuff S15 Jensen: We had a partner in crime & we leaned on each other for, you know, for times when it was tough.

Jensen: But we also won together. We got to share the experience of success & the experience of getting picked up for another season. Watching these two characters go through what they're going through, when we're working 14 hours & it's 2-3 o’clock on a Sat morning and we're just now finishing filming out in the rain and mud and we gotta race to the airport to get on a plane because we've got a photoshoot in LA & we've gotta do on camera interviews and we gotta promote the show that we love so much that we were just in the mud & the rain filming hours before we're exhausted and it's like there's only one person that gets that right now. That gets how I feel and that's this guy standing next to me. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool to have somebody like that.

Brad: We knew it was going to be impossible to tie up every aspect of all of the cans of worms that we opened up. 

We did want to bring a proper ending to the guys, the guy's relationship.

Brad: Then of course we had this huge corner we painted ourselves into with the most powerful thing in the universe being the big bad of the season. We try and find a proper send off for Jack & for Cas. What to do w/ the boys & is that a together farewell or an individual?

It was just... lots of moving parts. 

Dabb: I give a lot of credit to Bobo who really was the one who started banging the drum early & often to ending the mythology in 19 and end the characters in 20.

Brad: You're battling God & battling God & you have this epic situation going on through the first 3/4 of the show & then what? You send off Dean in act 4? That just felt wrong. Eugenie: We had this obligation, it was really mandatory, that we tie up the mythic narrative and leave the final episode for the emotional resolution. I [was] more on the side of not wanting to best God. To have God change to be more like his creations. So there were philosophical arguments, but we always knew God's resolution was going to be a big ticket item.

Jensen: We'd started day 1 of the 2nd to last episode, 19. We were 1 day down on that episode & we were just about to start our 2nd day & we got the call that morning that we were not going to be coming in that day.

Jensen: So we figured ok, we'll figure out protocol, figure out what we need to do, & we'll just regroup, come back on Monday. As that day progressed, it was like- this looks like more of an apocalypse that is ascending upon us than just a bad cold.

They pulled the plug & they said everybody go home. 

Singer: Fortunately, we got assurance from both the studio & the network that one way or another we were gonna finish the series. That was comforting to us, but we didn't know when we were going to go back.

Eugenie: We didn't know what we were going back to... if this was the last time we would ever see the set. There was no plan. It was just get out of dodge. Dabb: When it first happened, we thought it would be a couple of weeks, maybe a month.

I had conversations w/WB where they expected everyone to be back shooting in June & then things got worse & pushed & pushed.

Eugenie: Slowly as we settled into that 4 or 5 month period, discussions were going on w/the studio, & the networks, & the actors. We knew there would be restrictions on what we were allowed to shoot, but finally, the mechanics were figured out. 

Singer: So they were ready to go pretty quickly, shooting in Van, where covid wasn't quite as virulent as it was [in LA].

Dabb: We were one of the first shows, one of the first WB shows to start back up. So in a way, we were kinda a guinea pig. But, in being that, I think everyone took it really seriously. We had 0 positive tests. Crew members weren't going out on the weekends.

They were like look, if I get sick, it hurts the whole show. That speaks to the family culture up there, where we've had so much of our crew for so long. Where J2 & Singer provide such great leadership.

Singer: When I was in prep for 20, I was basically in the office but couldn't go to the set. It was very odd for me not to be able to go to the set while I was in prep. 

Everybody just hung in there & did what they were supposed to do.

Brad: Then we were faced with the dilemma of having to rewrite a lot of the stuff bc of the pandemic bc of the limitations that we knew were going to come on the production.

Jensen: We were gearing up for, not only the end of that season, but the end of the series. There was a lot of big, big things written-packed- into those last two scripts.

Jared: At first, it was supposed to be a lot of our old cast from prior seasons in a Roadhouse with Kansas.

Everybody had already agreed. Kansas was going to be in Van. We were going to have dad there & mom there. Just probably 20 or 30 different actors & actresses who had been a part of the SPN's canon over the last 15 & a half years.

Jensen: It was scheduled to be the last day that we were going to film, so it was almost like rolling right into a nice wrap party on camera. 

Brad: The idea of flying a boatload of ppl up there to quarantine for 2 weeks so they could shoot for a day was making less & less sense.

Eugenie: How do we make this work? And while you're doing that, you also don't want to sacrifice the heart and soul of the project. 

So we came up with a reduced, much more intimate ending. It has been replaced by something equally magical & rewarding.

Singer: I felt an enormous responsibility in directing the finale of a show that's been on for 15 years. Andrew, when he saw the cut, he said some really nice things to me as to, you know, the way I handled the material.

Jensen: The scenes that were filmed on our last day on the sound stages were filled with the most emotion of the final episode. 

Singer: One of the really hard things was we're on another stage that wasn't the MoL stage & they started wrecking the MoL sets

They'd been working on this set and been apart of this- this family for just as long if not longer than the set's been around. I was like "it's really sad seeing this get taken down" and the other guy said, "I'm trying to hold back tears while I'm swinging this hammer."

Jared: As we start saying goodbye to characters, to locations, like it just seems like every day you would wake up and there would be some reason to cry. 

Misha: This is a show ultimately about love, & empathy, & caring, & I think that Castiel embodies that.

Misha: Half the crew was crying. It was really such a sweet, supporting environment to be in for the demise of a character that, of course, for me is really important. 

But it was so lovely to see that, you know, the folks that I'm- I'm working with were also there for Cas at that moment. 

Alex: To get to work with these caliber people & see your friends every day is really special & is not something that often happens in this business for this long. It's been definitely a topsy turvy last couple weeks here with us and the crew. 

Jared: Friday of the final full week was the big scene in the barn with the vampires where Dean suffers his fate. They did the first two days with the entire stunt team & the young boy actors. 

And then they cut it for Thursday night and they're like, okay, Friday, tomorrow, we’re starting the dialogue. Dean, you're on the post. Sam, you just cut off the last vampire's head.

That was the scene- that was where Supernatural was really encapsulated. 

Jensen: And then the next week we kind of had this- on the road encore get together filmmaking scenario that felt more like we made it & it was more pats on the back as opposed to tearful goodbyes. 

Dabb: In a weird way you can look at the 15 seasons is like Sam & Dean's emotional evolution. You know instead of therapy, they kill vampires, but other than that it's kind of the same & brings them both to a very good place. And a place where they can, as the song says, you know, lay their weary head to rest. 

This felt like the most honest & emotionally fulfilling episode for these characters to us. Jared: I got thinking about how Supernatural started & how the majority of times how I thought it should end. It started with Sam & Dean Winchester. I think it's proper that it ended with Sam & Dean Winchester together again. 

Jensen: When the cameras stop rolling & Bob yelled, “Cut!” and Bob yelled, “That’s a series wrap on Supernatural.” There was- a there was a loud cheer that echoed through that canyon we were filming in. I will- I will happily say that there were hugs that happened and that needed to happen. Those are people that I spent not just years with, but so much time with- it's like brothers in arms and so to put it to bed the way that we did felt really good and then felt good to hug some people, I'll tell you that much. Singer: I thanked everyone, but I wanted to really thank people who had been with us from the beginning and as I looked around, there were so many people who had been there from the beginning.

We really were a family. I always say about this show is one of the reasons that it was a success and is that it was not only about the Winchester family, but it was about the Supernatural family. 

Jared: So now that's all said and done, I guess I can look back at it and just be proud that I helped this show carry on and I'm really proud of the blood, sweat, and tears that I put in, and I feel like- I feel like that sacrifice was also maybe one of the things I learned from Sam, you know? Sam had to sacrifice a lot. So, I'm honored and flattered and grateful that I got to be a part of that journey.

Dabb: You're never going to have another show like this. You're never gonna have another experience like this. For a lot of different reasons, from how long it ran, from the family that the show became, from the amazing fans that we have. [Footage of us] From the emotional investment people can put in over 15 years of their lives. 

Some started watching this when they were in high school, when they were 15, they're 30 now, they might have kids. That's their- that's like half their life. They've been with this show. You're not gonna have that again. Shows just aren’t gonna run this long, especially genre shows, but I don't know that I'm ever gonna do anything else in my career that I'm gonna be more proud of than having been involved in this show. 

Jared: The things that stick out are just how important it is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And keep on working and wake up every day and treat it like it could be your last and- and if you make it out the other side, you'll be happy and proud of what you did. 

Jensen: The crew had packed up, they had cleared the bridge, and they were all starting to, you know, load their trucks and get moving. And Jared and I just kind of hung back, and we just took a moment. I looked at him and I said, “I’m proud of us, man. I'm proud of what we've done.”

We know that that's the collective we, that is everyone that is involved, that is- you know from the top down. You know, for our portion, for what we contributed to this monster of the show, he and I reflected on that, and still able to see and smell the roses.

#supernatural #spn #spnfamily #spn family #spn 15.20 #spn s15 #spn s15 spoilers #carry on #spn finale #spn spoilers #sam winchester #dean winchester #jared padalecki #jensen ackles #brotherlylove #sam&dean #brothers man #bts #actor opinions

[aer-in-wanderland]

구미호뎐 | 김범 - Kim Beom ‘Lee Rang Talk’ Instagram LIVE 2020.12.01 

In which Kim Beom addresses fan questions and comments he searched the internet for personally, entirely of his own accord. #Bless ♡♡♡

Time signatures are from this recording uploaded to youtube -> [x]

Because the LIVE was quite long (nearly an hour) I’ve selected out questions and topics that I thought were interesting. For the parts that I omitted, I’ve left time signatures and brief descriptions of what was discussed. If there’s a topic you're curious about that I haven’t included here, feel free to send me an ask. Finally, because the sound quality isn’t the best and he’s sitting back from the camera, there were a few words here and there that I had trouble making out. Sorry in advance!

Introduction & Greeting

Yes, hello! This is actor Kim Beom. And I’m Lee Rang. Before the final episode, before the final week’s broadcast, I wanted to greet you all directly, so I’ve appeared like this dressed as Lee Rang. And...right now you can think of me as someone somewhere in between Kim Beom and Lee Rang. 

To be honest, there’s no decided format. I just went and looked up the things you all were curious about on my own. It could be a bit incoherent, but I hope you’ll enjoy watching. Also, I think there are fans who are worrying how I’ll do a LIVE, since I don’t really know how to, and I haven’t even been on Instagram that long, but actually, in order to do this, I spent the weekend writing the script myself (holding up his cue cards). I wrote the script myself. Actually, yesterday I also had a meeting about how to do an InstaLive, so I hope you’ll enjoy watching. 

[0:01:22~0:02:20] Greeting to international fans in English

[I was impressed by his English here. You can tell he isn’t just reading off his cue cards but actually knows what he’s saying by the way he self-corrects.]

[0:03:00(3:30)~0:05:05] Let Rang eat!

[0:05:10~0:08:04] Re: Color of clothing

Ah! There were a ton of comments about clothing color as well. Uh...I also read a lot of comments where you all were analyzing various things. And, well, a certain amount of it was really accurate...I was really thankful and also fascinated to see that it seemed like you all picked up on some of the things I had put thought into. For example, in the early part of the show when I appeared in red clothes, in a suit, of course there was also the fact that I was making an effort to exude the feeling of a villain, but the other piece that I had been thinking of was that, because there were a ton of scenes in the forest, in the forest on the island, I wanted a color that contrasted with green, so I looked for that sort of complementary color. 

Uh...so, for the case of Forest of the Starved, as with wearing red in the forest in the early episodes, I intentionally wore camel colored clothes and such. Uh...and because it was running, because a lot of the scenes in the Forest of the Starved were of us running, for visual purposes, the director proposed that we wear long clothes, so I wore a long trench coat and such. Also, for scenes that involved a lot of CG, we also, from a technical standpoint, for those bits with hyung...we wore a lot of colors excluding blue and green.   

Also, what else is there? Ah! The white clothes. There weren’t many scenes where I wore white clothing, but....very simply, in scenes where I bled (chuckling) so that the blood was easily visible...I wore a white shirt and such. One of the comments I read that really stuck with me was, ‘learned...learned pervert’ (laughing). That I was a learned person. I also had input here, and my stylist team also had the same thought, so....(very quietly) I was called a ‘learned pervert.’ Yes. 

Also...That’s right. A lot of what you all thought was really spot on. So I was also really fascinated and I thought, ‘Wah~ They even notice those sorts of things, I have to prepare even more diligently in the future,’ and for me, personally...from my standpoint as Kim Beom, I think this was the most costume fittings I’ve ever done. I also did a lot of test filming during the fittings. A JDG hyung who I’m close with and who is a photographer did a lot of test filming for me and really helped me a lot in the process of making Lee Rang. Oh, and also, in the process of doing tests for Lee Rang, perhaps because I took a liking to his image, I changed my profile picture for the first time in 10 years. I also changed my signature papers. It’s now Lee Rang, it’s Lee Rang’s image. I want to hurry up and provide you all with signatures too (laughs). Is this how I’m supposed to do this? I don’t know... (chuckles) 

[0:08:05~0:09:12] Re: Movements & gestures 

Ah, and also about movements and gestures and such...you talked especially a lot about things like me sleeping curled into a ball that got broadcast not too long ago. I saw a picture of me curled up asleep put next to an image of a fox sleeping, like this. Yes, that’s correct. From the very beginning I talked about wanting to give off the image of a fox, of a baby fox [glances to his staff] What? Show them? (chuckles) Like this, (does the gesture) sort of curled up sleeping. Foxes all sleep curled up, it turns out. So, there was an image of me curled up sleeping and, it should show up in the final episode, but there’s an image of me sitting curled into myself as well. When I’m sitting curled into a ball, even down to my toes I’m sort of, like this (does the gesture). Sitting like this was also something I did in order to give the impression of a fox. 

Aside from that, in the action sequences as well, if you look closely you can see that while people swing their fists like this, we made gestures, actions, like raking our claws. I think those sorts of things helped to make the character of Lee Rang, and also the gumiho, the other gumihos, so I was also really pleased while doing it. Yes. And I was even more thankful that the viewers picked up on that. 

[0:09:17~0:11:00] Re: Ad libs

The ad libs...for the ad libs as well, many people are asking just how much is ad libbed, especially since Yeon-ie hyung [Lee Dong Wook] is extremely good at ad libs and does them a lot. If you watch the behind the scenes videos and such, you can see the actors acting opposite him being caught off guard a lot. Hyung’s ad libs looked really cool to me, so I actually tried to emulate him a lot, but for that, it’s not possible with just your average [comedic/dramatic] sense. It’s the sense of someone who’s over a thousand years old, so one ad lib I made with the sense of a 600 year old was...there was one that was broadcast not long ago: “I’m warning you~~.” ‘I’m warning you~’ is an ad lib (laughs). 

The original line was...what was the original line again? (checks his cue cards) Ah, well, it was a line to the effect of, ‘don’t make me laugh’ or something like that, but seeing hyung saying ‘I’m warning you,’ I had the thought that it would be good if I teased him, so I was like, ‘I’m warning you~~’ as an ad lib. Also, in the café scene where we met after I returned from nearly dying, the drink hyung gave me was...there was a multi-colored drink, and for that, originally in the script it just said, ‘It’s tasty right? Have some, it’s tasty,’ or something like that, but hyung saying, ‘Have some, it’s rainbow flavored,’ was also hyung’s ad lib. And well, it didn’t appear in the broadcast, but I called it unicorn flavored. I think it was cut from the broadcast because it would have left people wondering ‘has he tried eating unicorn before?’ 

Those sorts of things...I also really learned a lot, I think, while doing them, such as hyung’s ease and whatnot. I was really jealous and he looked really cool. It came up in our lines too, but hyung always looked like he was shining brightly; he looked really cool.  

 [0:11:00~0:12:31] Re: Hyung Lee Dong Wook

To tell you more about hyung, hyung is...while being extremely sensitive, he’s the type to look after the other party in a brusk manner. For me personally, when I was studying and making Lee Rang’s character, I don’t think it would have been possible without hyung’s help. At first, I also...for the first time in a while I wore the clothes of another character and stood before the camera, and until that point I really had a lot of concerns and worries, but hyung gave me advice and really cheered me on a lot from the standpoint of an actor who has walked this path a little farther than me. So he was really a great help, and a source of strength, and whenever we were on set and there was something I didn’t know, I’d go ask hyung. Also, when I was agonizing over something, hyung would come over to me first and ask me if he could help, he was like that. 

And aside from that, the director, and the writer...Actually, Lee Rang’s tails have never appeared on screen, but in any case, Lee Rang should also have nine tails, right? There are nine. I have nine tails, but one of those was given to me by hyung. And one by the director, and one by the writer, and many others besides. Because they gave me tails, I was able to become a gumiho with nine tails, that’s the feeling I get. Yes.

[0:13:06~0:14:03] Re: Lee Rang’s Necklace

Ah! That’s right. There were also people who were curious about this necklace, wondering if this...if this wasn’t symbolic of something. In fact, in the beginning I had also thought that far. I thought of using it to express Lee Rang’s signature or something, so at first when he transformed I had gotten rid of it. Like when I appeared with glasses on (leans forward to show off the necklace better) this. It’s this necklace, but for my first transformation when I appeared with glasses, or...at those times I purposefully removed the necklace, but later on when I, when I transformed into hyung, if I wasn’t wearing it....if I was wearing it! I worried that you all would notice. You’re all extremely observant. Like gumihos. So in the end I decided to just leave this as fashion. 

[Note: This doesn’t fully make sense to me in terms of wearing it or not, but I double-checked and I translated everything exactly as he said it.]

[0:14:02~0:14:53] Re: Transformations

And since we’re on the subject of transformations, I’m always being found out and saying, ‘Ah that damn dress code...’ and such, but, everyone, I’m not being found out. Lee Rang isn’t so foolish and incompetent. Conversely, in order to mess with people more, he’s intentionally giving them a hint. So he’s being like... ‘Even if I do this will they not notice? Will they not notice?’ by intentionally giving them a hint with his shoes. And so, for Ji Ah, and for Sajang, that was me intentionally giving them a hint, and in fact wanting them to realize. While being like ‘if you figure this out then I’ll have to mess with you even more,’ I’d then mess with them more. And so, conversely, when I transformed into hyung to fool Sajang, I fooled him perfectly didn’t I? I’m not such an incompetent person as that. 

[0:14:55~0:16:05] Re: Romance 

There are many people who are extremely curious about Lee Rang’s romance as well, but actually, romance [for Rang] didn’t appear in our Tale of the Nine Tailed. Because his love for hyung is so great. And his love for Yoo Ri was also somewhat different from the love between a man and a woman. It was a familial love, and also a love that came from wanting to fill the void, it was that sort of love. Uh....I saw someone say something like this. Mm...when Yeon-ie hyung falls in love it’s to this extent, but if Rang-ie, who is a rule-breaker, who ignores all the rules, were to fall in love, the earth would probably have been destroyed. Or at the very least, Korea would have been destroyed. haha Someone said that, but I think that probably would have been the case. If he had directed his love not at his hyung but at a woman, because Rang-ie isn’t afraid of his hyung, or the afterlife, or even hell, I feel like he would have had that sort of a [world-ending] romance. 

[0:16:48~0:17:37] Re: Lee Rang’s fortune (wealth)

[0:17:38~0:18:19] [Reading and responding briefly to live comments]

[0:18:32~0:19:24] Q: Would Lee Rang have dreamed of being either a full fox or a full human?

Ah...this was a very sad question. [Rang is] a half-human, half-supernatural, but would he have dreamed of being a full gumiho, would he have dreamed of being a full human? There was talk to that effect. Uh...I think Rang-ie wouldn’t have wanted to be either. On the supernatural side as well, because he’s a half-supernatural...I don’t imagine he’d have been welcomed, and among humans, because he has supernatural blood, we also saw him being mistreated a lot. But then, amongst all of that, my one and only source of support was my hyung. And I think that’s why [Rang] was so obsessed with his hyung. I think he probably wouldn’t have wanted to belong to either side. Because he’s that sort of free spirit. Yes, that’s what I think. 

[0:19:30~0:19:58] Re: Lee Rang’s Favorite Food

Q: If Lee Rang had a favorite food like Lee Yeon’s mint chocolate, what would it be?

His favorite food is, you all may already know this, but it’s alcohol. Rang was always together with alcohol, and he was a character who goes well with alcohol. Somehow...it was like how lonely people reach for alcohol. I think it would have been that sort of feeling. It always kept him company, in place of his hyung (chuckles). That sort of, that sort of...his favorite food is alcohol, yes. 

[0:20:02~0:20:50] Re: Favorite fan comments/Not a baby 

[0:21:00~0:21:46] Q: Spicy fox [i.e. fox with an attitude/a bite] vs. baby fox?

[0:21:47~0:0:22:39] Q: The most dangerous gumiho or the most endangered gumiho?

[0:22:45~0:23:34] Q: Favorite Lee Rang look/style?

[0:23:41~0:25:10] Q: Good vs Evil?

Ah, and, there was also a question about what percent of good versus evil exists inside of me, but...I also really thought hard about it when I received this question. Rang-ie was a very kind child when he was young, who couldn’t even pick a flower...he was a kind child who couldn’t even kill a bug, but then, that sort of...should I call it societal evil? Due to some misunderstandings and...painful times, he gradually begins to ‘live devoting himself to evil,’ there’s that expression, in Korea. I think all of that evil would have seeped into him. So while at first he would have been 80-90% good, even so...mm~ at 51 to 49%, wouldn’t 51% of him be good? That slight bit that he tries not to lose. Because evil, because the side of evil kept pulling at me, whether that be Imoogi, or Sajang, unavoidably evil would have pulled at me, but...I get the sense that Rang-ie, to the very end, wouldn’t have given up the good in him...Nn? [Staff catches his eye] Yes, so that’s why it’s (???)* hehehe Oh? (???)* Sorry. Hahaha Ah, sorry. I just startled myself as well. [Pointing at his staff] Your face has turned red!

[Note: The expression he uses for ‘to the end’ here could either be used literally or figuratively. So obviously he accidentally gave a huge spoiler, but if he - or rather, his staff - hadn’t reacted so much it might have just been glossed over. Also, I think he’s using terms associated with a video game here which is why I’m having trouble parsing the blanks.]

[0:25:12~0:26:56] Kim Beom reminisces about his time with TotNT

[0:27:05~0:27:43] Re: Stickers

Ah! There was also talk about the stickers. Hahaha Uh...for the stickers as well, of course, in the script it was simply expressed as, ‘Rang, who is asleep covered in stickers,’ but actually, what stickers got stuck where was something that I decided myself. So I tried sticking a lightning bolt to my forehead, and, I’m not sure if it was visible in the broadcast, but the earring (the star on his ear) was a reference to the character So Yi Jeong that I played back in the day [Note: this is a reference to his character in Boys Over Flowers (2009)]. Well, I’m the type to overthink things like that, so hehe. I think a lot. 

[0:27:45~0:28:56] Re: Soo Oh

[0:29:12~0:30:00] Q: Are you more of an older or younger brother type?

For that question...whether that question was a question for Kim Beom or for Lee Rang, I actually wasn’t sure, but someone asked, ‘Are you someone who is suited to being an older brother or someone who is suited to being a younger brother?’ Uh....to answer as Rang, Rang is of course more suited to being a younger brother, it fits his natural tendencies. That Kim Beom guy,* I mean, Kim Beom is... (chuckling under his breath) ‘that Kim Beom guy’ what am I saying? Kim Beom is...more suited to being an older brother, he has that aptitude, that inclination I think. 

[*Note: When said this I burst out laughing. The literal expression is, ‘that chingu (friend) called Kim Beom,’ and it’s just not a way that you would ever refer to yourself. He said he was somewhere in between Lee Rang and Kim Beom, and it really feels like that here haha]

[0:30:12~0:31:10] Re: Nicknames

And, well....If Lee Rang, if there is a nickname that Rang-ie likes or a nickname that remained with him [what would that be]? A whole lot of people also wrote to me with that question. The overseas fans have also been calling me ‘baby fox’ (said in English), and that was really amusing. Uh...also, well, ‘baby fox’ (in Korean), and things like ***** [Note: he censored himself here so I’m not actually sure what he said other than that it’s rude haha], I really had a lot of fun seeing them. Like, these people who, if I met them in real life, would say, ‘Spare me!’ and run away were treating me like a baby... (nodding to himself). It was funny (chuckles). 

[Reading the chat] People keep commenting ‘baby fox’ (in English) hahaha

And so I also, later on....Somehow, at first I thought, ‘Huh?’, but then later on it was something that really made me feel good...(nodding) It was funny. (chuckles)

[0:33:30~0:33:57] Re: Mountain God Lee Rang?

Q: If Lee Rang ever became a mountain god, what sort of world would he have created?

I probably would have made a wonderland for hyung, right? For hyung’s sake alone. So that hyung could enjoy himself, I would have tried making this and that....to make hyung smile once. I feel like that’s what I would have done, and because of that, because [Rang is] that sort of simple guy, he probably wouldn’t have become a mountain god, right? I’m good being a mountain god’s younger brother...

[0:33:58~0:34:54] Re: Rang’s name

Also, Ah~ things related to Rang’s name, too. To my knowledge, the name ‘Rang’ was bestowed by his hyung. So originally he was a half-human, half-supernatural who didn’t even have a name, who was also abandoned by his family. He had been lonely like that, so it was probably hyung who gave it to him. The name ‘Rang’ means ‘shining.’ Most likely, at that time, wouldn’t he have really cried a whole lot? From happiness. Seeing as he continued using the name Rang, seeing as he continued using it for 600 years. If he had disliked it, he probably would have changed it, so he really took a liking to it. It was probably a happy time where he thought, ‘Now I too have a name~’ That’s right. 

[0:35:11~0:36:39] Re: Spin-off

Ah! And also, there was the spin-off to talk about, right? In another world, in a slightly wider world, uh...there was a spin-off telling my story, and to be honest it was an extremely new attempt, and I also, at first, I approached it as an answer and a gift in response to all of the love that so many people had sent. Uh...thanks to that, I think it was nice that I was able to show you Lee Rang from another point of view, and I actually worried about it a great deal. 

Uh...Rather than our existing team, another spin-off team did the filming for us, and so I worried a lot. Because it wasn’t our team. But, they very diligently, and well...shot it for us. And for me, because many people supported us, thankfully, compared to what I had been worried about, I think it worked out well. Actually, when I was really at the end of my rope from worrying so much, I called hyung [Lee Dong Wook] from set, from the spin-off set, to say that I was worried, and I also met up with him in person, and the director [Kang Shin Ho], I told him I was worried. In the off chance that the fans of the Tale of the Nine Tailed main series might hate it, I was really very worried. But hyung really comforted me a lot, and told me it was cool, so that made me feel really good. 

[0:36:41~0:37:28] Re: Yoo Ri (Kim Yong Ji)

Also...I have to talk about Yoo Ri too, don’t I? Our Yoo Ri. Our Yoo Ri...from the very first time I met her she seemed like Yoo Ri. She was really really like a gumiho, like a fox. Like someone of mixed race. In reality, too, we met up recently and were eating together when she told me this. People from Russia are actually sending her DMs, she said. Asking if she’s really a mixed-blood Russian. Hearing that was so funny that I remember we both burst out laughing. But to that extent Yoo Ri [Kim Yong Ji] is that much like Yoo Ri, even when you see her in real life. And also, because she became such a perfect Yoo Ri when we were working, from the very beginning she was very reliable to film with, and I think I was also really able to immerse myself while filming. 

[0:37:29~0:38:01] Re: Shin Joo (Hwang Hee)

And also, Shin Joo hyung, too. Actually...I didn’t have that many scenes in common with Shin Joo, but we became so close on set that later on - ah! Actually it’ll probably appear in tomorrow’s episode. Me and hyung [Hwang Hee] (catches the staff’s eye, raises his eyebrows, and then censors himself).....have a scene together, and you’ll probably get to see a very different Lee Rang, a very cheerful, uh...Lee Rang will appear, so I hope you enjoy watching it. 

[0:38:31~0:40:00] Re: CG

Ah, and also, we can’t not talk about the CG. Because, in a sense, it was one of the biggest aspects of our genre, from the first time we started filming we did a whole lot of tests. I think, in any case, we worried that those who see a lot of (computer graphics? - sorry, I’m actually unsure of this word) would feel that something was off, so we tried once using actual contact lenses, and also tried using actual (physical) tails. And for things like the Imoogi special effects makeup, it was a combination of makeup and CG that came to be through the help of truly a lot of people. My eye, and also hyung’s tails, and our abilities, Imoogi’s skin. I’d like to take the opportunity here to thank everyone involved once again. For giving me such a cool eye. I also, while watching the broadcast, was like, ‘Wah!’ 

Hm... also, I think my only having one eye that changed was probably the director’s idea. Because I’m a half-blood, in any case, his opinion was that it would be nice if only one eye changed, so I was able to have a really cool eye (leans close to the screen with a wild Lee Rang smile and then sits back chucking). It would be nice if it changed, but I’m unable to change my eye by myself (chuckles).

[0:40:05~0:42:00] Re: Stunts/action sequences

And our stunt team, our action team as well. We can’t not talk about them. I’m reminded of the first time, the times we went to action school to practice martial arts. From when we first began action practice, I would coordinate the timing with hyung [Lee Dong Wook] and we would go and practice together. So from the beginning, until we had created the action that would suit our characters, we went several several times for several hours at a time to practice. And then on set, they created things far beyond what we had practiced for us, so our action team really worked very hard as well, and the agwi and such that you saw...for many of those, our staff played all those roles for us. They really had it extremely hard, uh...yes. The (???) director, the (???)* director, and many stunt and action hyungs, all worked very hard. Hyung [Lee Dong Wook] also talked about this during our press conference, but they really worked very hard. On hot days, in the Forest of the Starved, they nearly....and they gave a very impassioned performance, so I was also able to immerse myself so the filming went well.

Mm....To be honest, I’m the type who really likes action, but the gumiho action this time, uh... (nods to himself). There were many stunts that appeared that were at a level beyond what I could have imagined, so while I enjoyed doing them, there were aspects that were difficult too, but when I saw how I appeared in the broadcast, I was very satisfied, and...because [the fans] really liked our sibling action scenes, it made me feel good. 

[*Note: Sorry, because he’s talking half under his breath here I’m actually having trouble making out which directors he’s referring to.]

[0:42:05~0:43:38] Re: Crying scenes

You asked me if having so many crying scenes wasn’t taxing, but...I know, right? More than I thought, more than the Rang that I had originally pictured, [he] was actually quite a crybaby. There were many more crying scenes than I had thought there would be, and depending on how you look at it, it feels like maybe I cried nearly as much as Ji Ah....I get the sense that because [Rang] is a guy who carries a lot of pain and sadness, he had a lot of tears. And also, because I had to cry in a way that was Rang-like, at first I was like, ‘How should I cry? In what manner do I have to shed tears?’ but once the camera started filming...I felt like they were Rang’s own emotions, so. Yes. 

If I think of hyung [Lee Dong Wook], actually, even now I get really choked up. So, when I, myself, Kim Beom, had a photo shoot recently, the topic of hyung came up in the course of the interview and I froze for a second because I nearly started crying, that also happened...

And then on set when I gave my final thoughts upon wrapping filming, I still somehow had many of Rang’s emotions left over, so I...seeing me crying, hyung said, ‘Are you going through puberty?’ hahaha, I have memory of him saying things like that to make me laugh as well. 

[Note: Kim Beom is referring to his photoshoot and interview with Elle Korea. I translated a good bit of it here.]

[0:43:40~0:45:06] Q: A character you’d like to try transforming into?

Also...I, well, hyung also transformed once, but for me because it’s one of my core talents, and because gumihos are the sort of character to do that, I received the question of whether there isn’t a character I wouldn’t like to try transforming into other than the ones that appeared in the drama. Honestly, if I was Lee Rang, I probably would have transformed into Ji Ah and tried to break her [and hyung] apart. Mm....I would have really hated transforming into Ji Ah but, uh...in order to separate her from hyung, and also, out of jealousy, due to his wish that [his hyung] wouldn’t fall in love with her again, out of love for his brother, he would have transformed into Ji Ah...isn’t that originally what gumihos are like?

However, because in that case then Ji Ah [Jo Bo Ah] will have to act that out again, probably (chuckles)...next time, if there’s ever an opportunity, I’ll transform into Ji Ah and... (starts making finger hearts without finishing his sentence) yes. I would like to show that to you all. 

[Reading the live chat] Right? People are asking me if I’m a genius. If it was Lee Rang, Lee Rang should have to transformed into Ji Ah, right? I also honestly just surprised myself by thinking of it just now. 

[0:45:14~0:46:04 ] Thoughts before the final episode

[0:46:24~0:47:28] Re: Charades with Imoogi (Lee Tae Ri)

[0:47:30~0:48:15] Re: Director Kang Shin Hyo

[0:49:26~0:50:21] Q: Memorable Lines & Scenes

Also...about the lines. Memorable lines or memorable scenes, you’re asking a lot about these sorts of things, but I truly haven’t forgotten a single scene I was in; I remember all of them. Because the script, and the characters, and the scenarios...and the scenes were all made so so well. 

Actually...well, at the beginning, when you see me fighting, bickering, with hyung, and I say ‘Didn’t you miss me?’ this line, and also...that sort of line: ‘I’m dying of anticipation.’ There were these sorts of lines as well. Uh...also, my lines that I say to Yoo Ri too. Like...‘Why would you shed tears because of me? Don’t make your life into a melodrama.’ There were these sorts of lines as well. 

[0:50:24~0:51:52] Re: Azaleas

[0:51:54~0:52:26] Re: Gumiho teleportation 

[0:52:27~0:54:00] Re: Rang’s throwing axes

[0:54:32~0:55:11] Re: Dokdo shrimp

[0:55:13~0:55:59] Q: Memorable filming location?

[0:56:00~0:5?:??] Re: Last episodes

[0:56:45~0:57:10] Q: Do you watch the original broadcast?

[0:57:12~End] Closing remarks

#구미호뎐 #김범 #이랑 #kim beom #kim bum #instagram live #20201201 #bts #my translations #thanks for your patience #kim beom's relationship with lee dong wook is the cutest #this whole cast is just ♡ #tale of the nine tailed #totnt

[kalaluchi]

chapter 05: Jagged Stone

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Marinette was confused.

How could two people go from comfortable banter to awkward silence in a span of two days? She’d heard of going from 0 to 100 real quick, but she’d never thought it’d happen to her.

More accurately -- to her and Adrien.

She stared at the back of his head, wondering where she’d gone wrong, as Mme. Bustier droned on with her lesson.

Marinette had really thought she’d finally gotten over the shy-awkward-start phase after the whole movie “date” last Friday. (She still wasn’t sure if that had been meant as an actual date, or as a chill friend hangout. And frankly, she was too scared to ask.)

But then the weekend came and they’d barely talked. (Though she’d been secretly hoping for a random good morning from him or something -- even just once.) She’d been busy baking and cramming assignments and random projects, and just like that the weekend was over.

It was now Monday, and she was sad to think all her efforts to become closer had gone down the drain. They’d exchanged greetings as she made her way to her seat that morning, but it was now 2 periods after lunch, and he hadn’t spoken to her at all. There weren’t even any of the corny memes he used to send when they were both bored in class.

Not that he’d been ignoring her, though. It just seemed like… he’d forgotten about her or had nothing more to say to her.

She probably could have reached out herself… but every time she was about to approach him, she felt like she was walking on eggshells. One wrong step, one wrong word, and something would crack.

She groaned, painfully aware that she was probably overthinking things too much. She checked her phone for the 10th time that period -- no new messages.

Marinette let out a sigh.

One apparently much louder than she’d intended.

“Anything to share with the class, Marinette?” Mme. Bustier’s voice broke through her thoughts.

She bit her lip, her ears red. “No, Mme. Bustier. Sorry,” she murmured, embarrassed.

She thought it was absolutely worth it though, because just then Adrien offered her a small smile in sympathy before turning back to face the front. So there was hope for them yet.

She sat back in her seat, deep in thought again. On impulse, she leaned forward and tapped Adrien’s shoulder while Mme. Bustier was facing the blackboard.

“Do you, uh, can I borrow a pen?” Marinette whispered in his ear.

If she didn’t know any better, she would’ve thought Adrien was blushing slightly from the sudden interaction. “Here you go,” he replied in the same quiet voice.

Her fingers tingled when they brushed his during the exchange, but she thanked him anyway. She really had no intention of using the pen (she’d never leave home without her beloved pencil case, with all the colorful pens and markers, please) so she decided to wait until class ended to return it and use it as an excuse to start a conversation.

Brilliant! This must be what Alya feels when she comes up with one of her schemes.

.

.

.

An hour later, as Adrien began packing his bag to go home, Marinette tapped him on the shoulder nervously. Her brilliant-a-period-ago plan was starting to not feel brilliant at all.

Nevertheless, she held out the pen to him, smiling. “Thanks for lending me this a while ago. You’re a lifesaver.”

He chuckled easily. “No problem. You looked like you needed some life-saving,” he joked.

Marinette couldn’t help but scoff at that. “I can save myself, thanks,” she muttered, in a tone sharper than she intended.

“Of course,” the blond backtracked hastily. “I didn’t mean to assume, I just--”

“Is… that a Jagged wallpaper?” Marinette asked suddenly, immediately forgetting the earlier offense.

“Uh, yeah. You listen to Jagged Stone?”

“Listen to Jagged? Get out, I practically breathe Jagged! Wow, I can’t believe he didn’t come up once in our conversations…”

“Well, I… didn’t really peg you to be a Jagged girl, honestly. No offense, though, I really don’t know why it didn’t occur to me. I mean, now it seems obvious. You’re nearly as cool as him.”

“Shut up,” Marinette laughed, waving away the compliment. “No one is as cool as Jagged. And it’s okay, I didn’t peg you to be a Jagged fan either.”

“You’re kidding. How could I not? A great singer, and a great player too. Piano, guitar, you name it! Heck, I bet he could even play, like, a lyre or something.”

Marinette scrunched her nose and raised an eyebrow. “A liar and a player at once? Can’t say that’s exactly my type. I’ve met too many of those, thanks.”

Red spots bloomed in Adrien’s cheeks as he sputtered, “No, I’m not-- that’s not what I--”

“I’m joking,” she interrupted, honestly surprised at his reaction. So annoyingly endearing.

“Oh.” Adrien sighed in relief, as Marinette bit back a smile.

There was an awkward pause as she thought of what else to add.

She had just opened her mouth when Adrien blurted, “There’s actually a Jagged show tomorrow.”

“Yeah, part of the Jagged Worldwide tour, right? I’ve got my room all set up with 3 flavors of popcorn to eat while I stream it.”

“Actually,” Adrien said somewhat nervously, “I may or may not have an extra ticket to the show, thanks to the Agreste brand and all.”

“Get out,” Marinette deadpanned, in shock.

(Adrien noted that that was the second time she’d said that in the last five minutes, and chuckled internally. How cute.)

“So, you wanna go?”

There it was again. That… awkward is-this-a-friend-thing situation. Marinette’s conscience told her no, don’t fall for his trap! He definitely only sees you as a friend, you’ll just get hurt if you hope for more! Which, true… but then again. This was Jagged. How could she say no?

“I’m in.” She beamed, bouncing on the soles of her feet. Even though the concert was on a school night, she was fairly sure her parents would let her go once they found out it was another ‘date’ with Adrien.

“Hey, Nino! Marinette said she’s game to come with us to the concert tomorrow,” Adrien called over his shoulder at his best friend.

“Sweet! See you there, my dude! I’ll pass the news on to Alya.” He gave a last wave before leaving.

Ah. So definitely not a date. At least she was aware.

Unless… a double date? Marinette groaned inwardly. Why did things have to be so complicated? She could almost feel the headache she was going to get from all this. (Especially now knowing that Alya would be involved.)

.

.

.

Marinette had never seen so many people in her life.

If she thought her bakery’s end-of-the-month sales were insanely crowded, that was nothing compared to the mass of people at the concert grounds, tightly packed and eagerly awaiting the arrival of their favorite singer.

As usual, something went wrong right off the bat. Their little group of four had gathered outside the grounds at 4:30pm sharp, but it hadn’t even been five minutes since they’d entered and already Alya and Nino were nowhere to be seen.

Marinette panicked immediately, obviously, frantically searching for the telltale brown-red-tipped hair of her best friend.

Adrien calmed her down immediately, saying that the lovebirds probably wanted to ‘spend some alone time together.’

Had Marinette been in a normal state of mind, she might’ve noticed that this practically reeked of another of Alya’s schemes. As it is, she simply allowed herself to be led by the blond-haired boy.

“Let’s go this way so we’re closer to the stage,” Adrien said gently, steering her one way. “Here, you can… hold my hand so we don’t get separated,” he added softly, taking her hand in his.

Soft. She was surprised to find that his hands were smooth and uncalloused. Well… she didn’t know what she had expected, but she thought they were absolutely fine as they were.

They finally made their way to the front as the singer stepped onto the stage to an eruption of cheers. She had to bite back a pout as Adrien dropped her hand to clap his own. She was about to suggest they link hands for the entirety of the concert, but all thoughts disappeared once the music started playing. She let herself get lost in the song, letting go of all her fears and doubts just this once, dancing to the tune, jumping to the beat.

A few minutes in, Adrien leaned in close. “I love this song,” he said, speaking directly into her ear to be heard over the crowd’s screams.

“Me too!” she shouted in reply, hoping in her heart it were actually words of endearment he’d said.

Once the first five songs ended, Jagged Stone stepped up to the mic, and a quiet hush spread through the crowd, waiting with bated breath for what he would say.

“I just want to thank everyone here for coming,” he started, pausing when the crowd roared their approval. He laughed heartily. “Never in my life would I imagine I’d be getting crowds like this, especially right here in Paris. Not many people know this, but I didn’t always like the name Jagged Stone. I mean, as is, it’s really nothing, right? It is what it is: a stone that is jagged. That means cut different from the rest, sort of sharp around the edges, prone to hurting others. Who would want that, right? Growing up, I was told I’d probably amount to nothing, so maybe I should choose a safer, more secure path. But then-- and here’s the key-- I grew up. And look where I am now.”

Marinette whooped along with the other concert goers, wanting her support to be evident.

“See, that’s the thing,”Jagged continued, on a roll. “These things take time. I came to love the name Jagged Stone. Because over the years, stones that are jagged smoothen around the edges. They become toned, weathered. They become the kind of precious stone you see being used in jewelry, maybe. Suddenly they’re something beautiful, valuable. Meaningful. Are they different from what they were before? Of course. But are they still themselves? Absolutely. Was that greatness there all along, right from the start? Without a doubt.

So to everyone out there: don’t rush it. Everything moves at its own pace. You may seem sharp around the edges, but that’s just how we are. Other people might not know how to approach those edges, afraid of getting hurt. But give it time. The ride will smoothen out. I want you to remember that there is already something valuable in each of you, even at this very moment. It’ll just take time for you to get used to that something, to hone it into the best version of you.

And speaking of time, I’d like to thank you all for the time you’ve given to be here! With that I’ll be performing my last song of the concert, my brand new single: Miraculous!”

.

.

.

“That. Was. Amazing.”

Ten minutes later, Adrien and Marinette had navigated their way out of the thick of the crowd, and were making their way to the meet-up spot as previously discussed.

“Definitely,” Marinette agreed, taking a bite of the cotton candy she’d bought. “That speech before the last song? That was my favorite part.”

“Really? He played six songs and not one of them classifies as your favorite part?”

“Oh, be quiet,” Marinette scoffed, shoving his shoulder lightly. “Stop judging. It just… hit close to home, I guess.”

“Oh… Well, uh, I don’t really know any of the context, but you do know you’re pretty amazing, right? As you are right now.”

Marinette took another bite to hide the blush spreading across her cheeks. “Thanks,” she said meekly, unsure of how else to respond.

“There you are!” a voice called. Marinette suddenly found herself enveloped in a tight hug. “I can’t believe we got separated right at the start! Nino here wouldn’t even let me go look for you because we’d found a great spot, he said.”

“Hey!” her boyfriend protested. “You were the one who said let the two lov-- oof, did you have to step on me foot?”

“Oops, accident,” Alya said lightly. “So anyway, how did you two find the concert?”

“It was fun,” Marinette replied softly, wrapping her arms around her best friend’s waist.

“Yeah? Something interesting happen?”

Marinette laughed. “No, I guess not. It was just… I don’t know, it seemed pretty--”

“-- miraculous,” Adrien finished, and they all had to agree.

As they headed back, Marinette reflected that maybe it wasn’t so bad she’d been treading on eggshells just the other day. Maybe her relationship with Adrien was just like what Jagged had said in his speech. At the moment rough at the edges, either party cautious of how to proceed in fear of hurting the other or getting hurt. And that was okay.

Because eventually, it would smoothen out.

And eventually, maybe, just maybe, it would bloom into something beautiful-- something hopefully more than friendship.

All they really needed was time.

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#adrinette april 2021 #adrinette #miraculous ladybug #idk what im doing sorry #ml #mlb #mlbcn #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #adrienette #mlb fics #adrinetteapril2021 #day 5: jagged stone #jagged stone

[dameferre]

can we see a snippet from the "penpals!" courferre one :0

of course! i will warn you this will. most likely never see the light of day BUT it’s based off of ‘the year of secret assignments’ by jaclyn moriarty, a... kind of ridiculous book i bought at a charity shop at like. age 10? or something

basically these three sets of teenagers are assigned pen pals at a neighboring school, and hijinks ensue, with one set of penpals giving each other secret assignments (hence the title), the other set of penpals being a girl who writes to a guy who uses a fake name (that plotline ends horribly, it would not have done so in my fic lmao)

one finally one set of penpals (a boy and a girl) decide to start having practice dates, so the guy can hone his skills and ask out a girl he likes, and the girl can critique his form, and... i mean i think we all know how this goes.

anyway, it’s half in letter format, half actual writing the story. here’s a snip! (under the cut because i. couldn’t help myself)

Official Assessment of the Second Meeting By Chance executed by The Lord of Flowers, Combeferre, henceforth referred to as the Subject, as reviewed by Courfeyrac the Ravishing, henceforth referred to as The Operative.

NOTES

When the Operative (and Guest) approached, the Subject smiled very nicely. It was a sort of surprised, warm smile that lit up his face. Did the Subject practice his ‘oh I was hoping to see you and I’m so glad I have’ smile in the mirror?

The Subject did a very good job of consoling the Guest, and as it turns out, the Subject’s height is not as offensive as previously thought, as he holds an umbrella perfectly.

The Subject was much more relaxed this time, and funny, and his hair fluffed a little in the humidity which was adorable. He had a great way of explaining things to the Operative without being patronising, and teased admirably. The Operative spent a good 80% of the walk laughing, but upon writing report can’t remember a specific instance of hilarity. The Subject should have more memorable jokes next time.

Overall, great work Combeferre. You’ll have Feuilly falling over himself to get to you in no time.

Yours,

Courfeyrac the Ravishing

--

Courfeyrac,

You seem to be losing your touch; that last review lacked the mildly insulting bluntness I’ve grown so accustomed to. Does this mean we’re becoming friends?

Anyway, I’m now, as you would say, ‘balls-deep in tech week’ and halfway through my descent into the deepest pit of hell. The entire production is an original script written by a friend of mine, named Jehan Prouvaire, who decided to rewrite the final scene this weekend. They’re my friend, have been for years, but even I wanted to murder them slowly. The cast is hard at work trying to learn the scene, while I had to stay late last night redoing all the cues.

The worst part of it is, the new ending is fucking fantastic, so we can’t even stay mad at them.

It’s exhausting. Literally exhausting; I got three hours of sleep last night.

Anyway, I’m writing this as a way of avoiding calculus homework. Not that I wouldn’t write to you if I didn’t have calculus homework, but it is harder to just ramble on about my life now that we’ve met in person. I don’t think I ever would have told you about Feuilly if we had met before we started writing. There was something in the anonymity that made it easier, like writing into a diary. I hope you don’t take this as an insult- what I mean to say is that now that I know you, I want you to like me. And by extension, I want you to know a lot less about exactly how lame I am.

Anyway, I wanted to say I won’t be able to make a meeting by chance this week, though I know telling you that ruins some of the fun. If I’m around next week, which is really looking less and less likely every time an actor misplaces a prop or mic pack and I am forced, once again, to weigh the pros and cons of murder, I’d be happy to accidentally run into you on my way home from school.

Side note- Avi(my brother) comes home next week, which lines up nicely with Mom’s birthday and means he’ll be able to see the show. It’ll be nice to have him back. I think you’d like him; he’s the attractive one in the family, and the extrovert. He’s also a mechanical engineer who medal-ed in track when he was my age. Basically, he got all the good genes, but he’s too nice to admit it.

Anyway, calculus beckons.

See you on the other side, Combeferre

p.s. Only you would practice a smile. Mine was genuine, I swear.

--

My Dearest Combeferre,

FIRST DAY OF PRACTICE STARTS TOMORROW HELL YEAH

I mean, yes, technically the other guys on my team have been practicing for two weeks but I have sadly been out of commission. BUT NOT ANYMORE BABY THE BITCH IS BACK

This will help distract me from the pain and yearning as I wait a whole week to see you again. I’ll be wistfully wandering the moors before Saturday, mark my words.

I’m also fascinated by the idea of a brother who’s you, but more attractive. Does it hurt to look at him directly? Do strangers fall in love on the spot? Is he officially considered a menace to society because he’s caused traffic accidents and ruined weddings by walking past at the wrong moment?

Someone should put a stop to him before things get out of control! No man should wield such power.

The idea that you, of gorgeous cheekbones, perfect hair, jawline, and eyes and face in general, notorious multi-tasker, valedictorian and walking encyclopedia, not to mention polyglot, could think someone else got the good genes means either you are humble to the point of actively lying to yourself or your brother is a minor deity.

Courfeyrac, I can hear you saying, flattery really isn’t necessary.

But it is! Enjolras, who I’ve mentioned before and is my best friend in the whole world, is gorgeous to the point of being inconvenient to look at. I’m a notorious flirt, I know this, and I’m good at it, but we’re not even in the same league when it comes to making people question their sexualities. He walks into a room and you can see half the people inside mentally decide they’re bi-curious. He’s also a raving lunatic and antagonistic asshole, which he openly accepts and takes pride in, but try to tell him he’s attractive and he looks at you like you’ve just suggested he’s got wings or a tail. So what I’m trying to say, I think, is that I’m used to people not realising how good looking they are. And bludgeoning them with compliments is my way of dealing with this.

Anyway. Getting sidetracked.

I’m flattered you use me as a method of procrastination! I’m gonna make myself a button that says ‘more interesting than calculus’ and wear it with pride. Also, is writing to pen pals not mandatory at the Academy? We’re given a half hour block during the study period. When we first started, Enjolras said the whole thing was “infantile and outdated and a waste of time”, but at this very moment he is on page six (6) of his latest aggressive correspondence to his mystery R, even though I saw what R sent him last time and it was, I shit you not, an envelope that was empty except for a tiny (approx. 3 centimeters long) rubber chicken. For context, the one before was a thorough analysis of wage inequality written entirely in pig latin.

I hope one day I meet this person, even if immediately afterwards they steal my kidney or turn me into a newt or whatever minor trickster gods do these days to pass the time when they’re not torturing my best friend.

Anyway, gotta go, stay sane, don’t kill anyone unless you really have to, and if so lemme know and I’ll help you get rid of the body. I know a guy.

Courfeyrac

p.s. I already like you, idiot.

#this little wip exercise is bad for me it makes me want to keep working on all of these lmao #elle writes things #elle answers your questions #anon #courferre

[prettyyyboyluke]

6-3; 6-0

pls enjoy tennis coach ashton 

~ 

“okay, i need elizabeth and nicole to play a challenge match to see who will get placed in second and third singles for this round.” ashton speaks, looking over his clipboard. “all doubles players will be with coach justin today, y/n, you and i are going to be working one on one.” he finishes. everyone goes to their designated courts and begin to work on what they were told. i grab my bag and follow ashton off the courts and up to the higher ones. once i place my bag down and grab my racket, all of my attention is on ashton.

he looks over his clipboard one more time before setting it down and grabbing his racket to join me in the middle of the court. “alright, y/n, i’m going to need you to push yourself the absolute hardest for me. you’re my best player, and i know you want that win against cameron just as much as i do.” he begins. this weekend was a very important tournament for us. and i needed to get my win against my rival, cameron. she is one of the dirtiest players you could ever meet. 

she would purposely call balls out that were in when we were playing out the deuce point. there was a point in the match where both ashton and the official had to watch and of course she played by the rules, but once they were gone, it was right back to the dirty habit.  

we start by just warming up short court, and then we move to full court. ashton was aiming the ball all over the place, really making me run for it. after the third ball i missed, he sighed and beckoned me over. “i need you to focus, doll. keep your eye on the ball, don’t just assume where i’m going to hit it.” he sighs.

“but you told me to protect the alley. that’s where she hit’s it most of the time.” i huff back.

“yes, but you know she can change it up and hit it across court to where you’re in no shape to get it.”

ashton continues to make me run all around the court. hitting balls that are deep, hitting some that are short, and of course he had to throw some overheads in there. “that’s the third overhead you missed, y/n. what have i told you?” ashton says, frustration clear in his voice.

“point up, move my shoulders, and shuffle.” i say back to him.

“exactly, so why are you missing them?” he presses.

“i don’t know! i’m stressed! there’s so much pressure for this goddamn tournament, i don’t wanna disappoint anyone.”

this whole season i’ve been training and training for this tournament, and now that it’s right around the corner, all my nerves are setting in. “y/n, take a deep breath for me, baby. it’s going to work out, alright? why don’t we just do some serves, i know you like to take your anger out on them.” ashton says with a calm voice.

“i just don’t wanna disappoint you, i’ve lost to her too many times.” i say, a few tears slipping from my eyes.

“hey, listen to me, you’re not going to disappoint me, you never do. win or loose, i’m going to be so proud of you.”

i listen to what ashton is saying, and just take a few seconds to collect myself. most people hate serving, since it’s the hardest part about tennis, but i like it. each time i play against one of my teammates they always tell me they get so nervous when i serve. it’s my biggest strength. i end up acing most, if not all of my serves, and ashton has a big smile on his face. “atta girl, just keep ‘em like that, and you should be fine.”

~

if the nerves weren’t setting in before, they definitely are now. everyone is on their toes to play today, ready for their a-game, and ready to take down anyone to get to finals. “alright girls, we’ve practiced all month for this. it’s time you give it all you got, and whatever happens on the courts, happens. just know i am proud of every single one of you for getting us this far.” ashton says into our huddle. it’s reassuring to have a coach like him, he did push us hard, but he was very sweet and considerate about it. he did have a temper sometimes, but that was only when you really pushed him.

we all line up from one singles, all the way down to four doubles. the announcers and the referees introduce themselves and tell us who we’ll be playing and what court we’ll be one. “y/n, you’ll be playing against cameron on court 1.” i go up and shake her hand, keeping a straight face. we head to our court, but before i could get there, ashton grabs my hand and pulls me aside. “remember what i told you?” he whispers.

“yes, be on my toes and don’t assume where she’ll hit the ball.” i repeat back to him.

“good, and watch out for her serves, they have spin on them, but yours are hard and fast, i know you can do it, doll.” he says.

“you’re going to watch, right?”

“of course, good luck, love.” he says before letting go of my hand and giving my lower back a pat.

the match starts and i’m serving first. i close my eyes and take a deep breath before tossing the ball up and serving it right in the corner of the box. the point plays back and forth until i make a volley right in the middle of the court. “15-love.” is all that is said before i serve again. now this part is tricky since i’m on the backhand side, and they’re not as strong and my forehand. cameron does a short ball and i’m instantly running towards the ball. as soon as i hit it, she calls, “out!” i grip my racket harder, knowing that the ball wasn’t out.

the first set lasts a while with the standing score at 6-3, me having the win. as we’re switching sides, i see ashton beckon me over. “first set score?” he asks through the fence.

“6-3, i’m winning.” i smile.

“that’s my girl, just one more set, and you’ve got in the bag.” is all he says before i get back in the match. now, cameron is clearly upset, and i know this is when she pulls her dirty tricks out. she starts serving this first game, and the point starts. i keep hitting towards the corner, knowing that she stays in the middle of the court.

“out!” she calls, once my ball hits. “you’re kidding! there’s no way that was out!” i argue. “outside of the line, y/n. forgot the rules?” she snickers.

we’re now at deuce, meaning i have to win the next two points to get the first game. and to my success, i got it. the second set lasts way longer than the first, but i’ve managed to keep my cool and am up 5-0, which is surprising. maybe cameron is having an off day, but hey, i’m not complaining. i’m serving this last game, and i’m just praying i can win the four points easily. again, the points play out to my advantage, and i win with a score of 6-0. on the outside i’m smiling, but on the inside, i’m jumping and screaming for joy.

i go up to the net to shake cameron’s hand, “good game.” she gives me a quick shake before muttering, “good game.” i go off the courts to see ashton with the biggest smile on his face. i wrap my arms around his neck and he picks me up, making my legs wrap around his waist.

“i won! i never thought i’d see the day that i beat her!” i exclaim into his neck.

“i’m so proud of you, doll. i say we celebrate.” he whispers, giving my hips a squeeze. i pull back, his arms still holding me up,

“how should we celebrate?” i ask. if anything, i’d figure we all go out as a team.

ashton sets me down and takes my hand, leading me to the pro shop. he takes his keys out and unlocks his office. “why are we in your office? the other girls are still playing.” i say, a bit confused.

“they’ll be too long, most of them are in a tie breaker, and still the first set.” he says, closing the door.

“we can still go watch them!” i tell him.

“i’m more focused on rewarding someone else.” he smirks, walking over to me.

ashton is very affectionate, that’s just who he is as a person. and i guess we do flirt, a lot, but i never expected this. he does call me some pet names that none of the other girls get called, but i just assumed because he really only works with the singles players. one of his hands come up to move the fly aways of my hair. his thumb setting itself on my bottom lip, dragging it down. i look up at him, my heart racing the slightest bit. “open.” he says. i open my mouth and he slides his pointer and middle finger in my mouth. i close my lips around them and swirl my tongue around the digits.

his other hand is running up and down the insides of my tank top. he then moves it to snap at the waist band of my tennis skirt. i release his fingers from my mouth and lean up to catch his lips between mine. he picks me up and sets me on his desk, with my legs dangling off the edge. “i can tell you a hundred times how proud i am of you, but, i’d figure i’d show you just how proud i am of you. will you let me do that, doll?” he says, breaking our kiss. i nod to his question and bring his lips back down to mine.

ashton moves his hand to the inside of my skirt, tracing the waist band of my panties. my breath hitched in my throat when his hand moves to the inside of my panties, coating his fingers in my arousal. ashton pulls away, his lips traveling up my neck to suck right under my ear. “you make coaching very difficult for me, doll. do you know how hard you make me when you wear your uniform? how your skirt rises up when you serve...” he says between kisses. my head is thrown back when ashton inches his middle finger inside me. “especially when your tank tops are so tight. you want people to notice, don’t you?” he continues speaking.

a small moan is released from the back of my throat when ashton curls his finger between my walls. “so responsive to my touch, what happens if i add another finger?” he smirks. now ashton’s middle and ring finger are curling up against my walls, making my back arch even more.

“right there, please, please, don’t stop,” i mutter. ashton’s free hand pushes my stomach down, making my whole lower half stretch. i quickly take off my tank top, exposing more skin and sports bra that was underneath. my muscles clench down around his fingers, making him move faster. “oh god, ashton, i’m gonna cum,” i moan.

“cum for me, doll. c’mon, i want you to show me how i make you feel.” ashton says. moans and whines are leaving my throat each time he curls his fingers, making my stomach coil and burn. i couldn’t hold myself up any longer, i laid back on ashton’s desk, letting pleasure take over me. my eyes were squeezed shut as i let my high take over me. “that’s a good girl, always making me so proud.” ashton whispers as his pace slows down. my chest is heaving up and down with a foggy mind. i can feel ashton wiggle my skirt and panties down to my ankles, his shorts quickly following them.

the tip of his cock slaps against my heat a few times before he eases himself in. “jesus christ, you’re so fucking wet,” ashton moans. my elbows are propping myself up again so i can look down at a filthy scene. ashton’s thumb makes its way into my mouth, giving me an opportunity to suck on it again. ashton’s hips move quick, the sound of skin on skin filling the room.

“god, ashton, please, harder! i-i want it harder,” i whine. he removes his thumb from my mouth, placing both hands on my hips and driving himself harder into me.

my back is flush against his desk again. one of my own hands go between my legs to rub circles on my clit, making everything bubble up faster. “fucking squeezing me so well, doll. fuck, i’m almost there, baby.” ashton moans. the front of his curls are sticking to his forehead.

“please, i’m so close ash, i want it,” i whine again. the tip of his cock hits the spongy spot that makes my legs start shaking. my muscles clench around his cock, and the bubble in my stomach ready to explode. “yes, yes, yes, don’t you fucking stop!” i moan loudly.

grunts are leaving ashton’s lips left and right while he’s chasing his own high. “i’m gonna cum, doll, fuck, you feel so good,” ashton moans. he places one of my legs above his shoulders, driving further and further inside me. my hand gets sloppy between my legs as that bubble starts to explode. everything becomes tight, my shoulders rolling back and ashton’s buckling forward. i can feel his cock twitch before releasing his load. both of us are now catching our breath, eyes closed as our bodies come out of the bliss feeling they were just in.

“i’m so proud of you, baby doll.”

#ashton irwin smut #ashton irwin imagine #ashton irwin preference #ashton irwin 5 seconds of summer smut #ashton irwin 5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin 5sos #ashton irwin #ashton #ai #5 seconds of summer smut #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer preference #5 seconds of summer #5sos smut #5sos imagine #5sos preference #5sos #smut

[nanoland]

mazikeen/eve/michael fic in progress

title: Ponder on the Narrow House

fandom: Lucifer

characters: Mazikeen, Eve, Michael 

blurb: In which Mazikeen isn't finished with Michael yet. 

warnings: Spoilers for Season 5. 

0  

In 2019, Fodor’s had crowned LAX the worst airport on Planet Earth, comparing it – much to Mazikeen’s amusement – to Dante Alighieri’s Hell.

She couldn’t comment on the comparison’s accuracy; she’d never read Divina Comedia. Human poetry bored her.

Up against the real thing, however? Hell was quieter, cleaner, and smelt better than Los Angeles International, and it wasn’t even close.

Granted, Mazikeen was biased. Hell was her home and she liked it quite a lot. But surely even a human – even an angel – would sooner take a stint in one of Lucifer’s loops than spend more than thirty minutes in Terminal 3.

Yet there he was, leaning against the wall, watching the bustling crowd with a faint smile on his face, like a man in the park resting his eyes on the ducks. Perfectly content.

“Do you know,” he said as she approached him, “that around forty percent of all humans are scared of flying?”

She hadn’t been sure how this encounter would go and, being innately practical, had dressed accordingly. Black satin skirt, flattering and loose enough to both conceal several demon daggers (invisible to the full-body scanner she’d just sauntered through) and not impede her reaction time in a fight. Red silk wrap blouse, easily unwrapped to serve as a garrotte or tourniquet. Hair down, curled, dyed pitch black with bronze-gold streaks – possibly a tactical disadvantage if he grabbed it, but possibly a distraction. She knew he liked her hair.

When she was satisfied he wasn’t about to lunge for her throat, she took a gamble and moved in to lean against the wall alongside him, following his gaze. “Not surprising. Think of it from their perspective. They don’t have wings. Actually – huh. I guess that’s a perspective you can sympathise with now.”

He sneered. “You’re trying to bait me, Miss Mazikeen. That’s cute. But I’m not in the mood, dollface. This? This is me time. I’ve had a shitty few days and I came here specifically to soak up these idiot mortals’ fear and chill out. Get lost. Go play with my twin if you’re so starved for entertainment.”

Mazikeen stretched. “That’s the problem. He’s hanging out with the rest of your lousy family. Gabriel. Raziel. Jophiel. Now that he’s in charge, they’re all trying to crawl up his ass. It’s pathetic. And annoying.”

His jaw clenched and she knew exactly what he was thinking: ‘That should have been me.’

“Also,” she added, after a pause, “they don’t like me. Most of them have never met a demon. There’s no outright hostility but… they talk to me like I’m some gross exotic pet Lucifer found and adopted.”

“They’re afraid of you.”

“Bullshit.”

“Nope. I’m wrong about some things. Never about fear. They can tell how much you matter to him, how much he’d do for you and vis versa, and it scares them shitless. Chloe Decker they can understand – she was Dad’s gift, after all. You, though? Lucy was never supposed to love you. No one was.”

She fiddled with her earring; big, gold, shaped like a swallow with rubies dotting its tail feathers. A gift from Eve. “Whatever. Anyway, that’s why I’m here. With you. Instead of them. You’re the worst, most obnoxious, most cowardly creep ever. I mean it. Christ, do you suck. But you always talked to me like I was a person. Right from the beginning.”

Ugliness flared behind his eyes. “Seriously? Now you’re being nice? Lucifer sent his general to console me? Ha! That’s how pitiful he thinks I am?”

“Pfft – no. Lucifer doesn’t give a crap about you. I’m here because I wanna offer you a job, moron.”

“A… job.”

“Yep. Ever heard of ‘bounty-hunting’?”

He nodded. Slowly. Smirking, she pushed off the wall and twirled on her six-inch heels to face him.

“Here’s the thing, o Angel of Dread; I’ve spent centuries in Hell learning how to terrify people. I look at you and you know what I see? Potential. Sure, you’re rough around the edges. Still got some celestial baby fat clinging to you. Still a little squeamish when it comes to certain tricks of the trade. But Mikey, honey, six months under my tutelage and I think we can turn you into a bona fide fucking nightmare.”

She let the skin on her face’s left side melt away and grinned at him. “So? How about it?”

“Eh,” he said after taking one last glance around the terminal. “Fuck it. Why not? Nothing better to do.” 

0 

“Los Angeles is kinda like me,” Mazikeen told him, taking off her red-lensed cat-eye sunglasses as she strutted down the pier.

“Doesn’t have a soul?”

A withering glare. “Tough. Pretty on the outside, mean on the inside. It’s easy to make enemies around here and when you’ve made ‘em, you need to stay on your toes. Stay nimble. Stay mobile. Ready to fight or flee at any moment.”

Michael nodded. “And that’s how you justify living on a tugboat.”

“Ahoy!” called Eve, standing on the deck in a polka dot bikini and pirate hat Mazikeen had presumably stolen for her off the set of some summer blockbuster or other being shot nearby, the salty breeze playing with her hair.

“It’s a yacht,” Mazikeen growled.

“No. That’s a yacht,” Michael replied, pointing to the gleaming white MCY 70 Skylounge docked nearby. “What you have is a glorified raft that can, at best, accommodate two people and maybe a toaster.”

He should, perhaps, be trying harder to ingratiate himself with his new boss.

But he was tired.

Getting in his face, she snapped, “Hey! That’s our headquarters, asshole. Show some respect.”

“It’s covered in seagull crap. It looks older than me. There’s a very obvious bloodstain on the helm. Jesus, doesn’t Lucifer pay you?”

She pushed him into the sea.

Offering him a hand when he bobbed to the surface, Eve said, “Don’t take it personally. She’s just mad because we weren’t able to steal a bigger one.” 

0 

It was while Michael was towelling himself dry down below decks that the chunky-faced cop wandered in, took one look at him, and strode across the room.

“Mister Espinoza,” he drawled, “what can I-… oh. Oh, wow, you really thought that was going to work, huh?”

Curled up on the floor, clutching the fist he’d very mistakenly slammed into Michael’s jaw, Dan hissed, “Fuck you. You killed me.”

“Poppycock. I had you killed. That’s entirely different, buddy.”

Dan staggered to his feet and shouted, “Maze! Eve! What the hell is he doing here?���

Taking off his wet jacket and draping it over the rack alongside the towel, Michael said, “I was invited, thank you very much. No one told me you were part of the arrangement.”

“What arrangement, asshole?” Dan snapped, turning red. “I’m just here to help Maze fix her boat’s engine.”

“Oh. You don’t work with her, then? No, I suppose you wouldn’t. As we’ve established, you’re entirely too killable.”

“You sleazy son-of-a… Maze! Get down here!”

Grumbling, Michael’s new boss stalked below deck carrying a crate of beer on her left shoulder and a sleeping bag under her right arm. “Goddammit – Dan, I told you to wait. Is your hand bleeding, you big meathead? We seriously just dragged your ass out of Hell and you couldn’t go two whole days before breaking yourself again? Ugh. You’re impossible. You’re worse than Decker.”

“Maze, d’you wanna explain what the actual fuck Lucifer’s psycho twin is doing here?”

“Interning,” Michael said, cheerfully.

His face now practically purple, Dan half-yelled, “What is he talking about? This is not okay, Maze! Does Chloe know? Does Amenadiel? Why is he even still on Earth? Lucifer’s God now; can’t he stick him on Mars or turn him into a bug or something?”

“Look, Dan, just calm down-…” she began.

“I died! I actually, literally, physically died! Because of him! No, I’m not going to calm down!”

Michael scoffed. “Please. Like that’s what you’re really upset about. You’re not angry about dying. You’re not angry at all. You’re scared, buttercup. And not just of me; of her, of Lucifer, of everything, and to be honest, I didn’t even need to use the ol’ angel juice to work that out.”

Mazikeen set down her cargo, pulled a knife from her belt, and flung it. It embedded itself five inches deep in the floor between them. “This? This is not Lux, dickheads. Mortals and celestials don’t hang out here to have a good time while I sit behind the bar and tolerate them. This crummy, crusty-ass, piece of crap boat is my domain. Here, I don’t have to put up with one femtometre of your bullshit. If you want to fight, do it somewhere else. If you want to fuck, do it quick and clean up afterwards. If you want to make yourselves useful, help me get the weapons on board.”

“Wait – wait, weapons? What weapons?” said Dan to her retreating back. “You said you were going fishing. Maze! What weapons?” 

0

“Where’s all your stuff?” Eve asked when she showed him to his tiny cabin.

“I’m an archangel. I don’t have ‘stuff’.”

(Michael had already decided he didn’t like her. She was bubbly.)

“Heh. You should travel with Lucy sometime. We went to Vancouver for a weekend and he brought seven bags, five watches, and six pairs of shoes. Okay, do you – uh, do you at least have a change of clothes? Because those look kinda soggy.”

To his annoyance – and embarrassment – she spend twenty minutes hunting down a shirt and pants that would fit him.

“They’re mine,” she said, dropping them into his lap. “But I bought them to sleep in and I like loose pyjamas, so they’re a dozen sizes too big on me. Oh! Also found you this.”

She presented a hot water bottle in the shape of a fat, cuddly sheep.

He accepted it carefully, wondering if it was booby-trapped. “You’re Lucifer’s ex, right?”

“Er… yep? Amongst other things. The Original Sinner. First Woman, First Wife, First Mother. Mother of Mankind. Second Human. First Knowledgeable Human. But sure, I was also your brother’s girlfriend for a while.”

“And now you’re Mazikeen’s. Do you also work with her?”

“Sure do!” she said, interpreting the question as an invitation to sit down next to him. “I’m The Choronzon’s captain. That’s our boat’s name. My idea. I know she’s not much to look at but she’s got so much history. There’ve been fourteen homicides on her! Plus, she’s fast; way, way faster than she looks. And I know the beds are hard, but we’ve got three hammocks stashed away and getting them set up is easy as pie.”

“Wow. Those suckers up in the Silver City don’t know what they’re missing.”

She nodded, blinking slowly. “Hmm. Maze was right. You are mean. That’s cool. I get on well with mean people. Anyway, just in case she hasn’t told you; we’ve got a job lined up and we’ll be setting sail tomorrow at dawn. You get seasick? Not a problem; we’ve got a medical kit full of antiemetics. On that note, should we pick up something for you before we leave shore?”

“No.”

“You sure? Just that – uh – I mean, my third son, Seth, the one nobody talks about – he also had pretty severe scoliosis. Wasn’t a whole lot we could do about it back then. But these days they’ve got tons of stuff; opiods and anti-inflammatories and memory foam. Science is so, so cool. And I’m going shopping for sunscreen anyway, so dropping by the pharmacy wouldn’t be a problem.”

For a moment, he reviewed a list of responses that would deeply, profoundly hurt her, responses that would ensure she didn’t approach him again.

But he was tired, tired, tired.

“Here.”

He took a folded piece of A4 paper from his pocket and handed it to her. “These are what the last human doctor I went to recommended. Getting hold of those three I’ve circled is tricky, but I know a guy. Call him on that number down there and he’ll meet you wherever. If he gives you any trouble, remind him that Michael knows about the vacuum cleaner. That’ll shut him up.”

As soon as she’d bounced out of the room, he shut the door, locked it, and laid down to sleep. 

0

It was night when he awoke.  

He went upstairs to find Mazikeen and Eve sitting on the deck, admiring what stars could be seen through Los Angeles’ perpetual light pollution and sharing a pizza.

“Mickey! Get over here,” called Mazikeen, clad in a black dressing down and slippers shaped like plump pink pigs.

“It’s freezing,” he complained.

She snickered and threw him the prickly blanket that had been resting over her knees. “Wimp. Eve told you about the job, yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Do you know how to use any weapons?” Eve asked. “Maze sticks with her knives most of the time. I prefer my traps and crossbow. But we’ve got guns, if that’s more your speed.”

They were clearly expecting him to sit down. Eve had even scooted to the left to make room.

He opened the blanket up and wrapped it around his shoulders, remaining standing. “Can I ask a question? What, precisely, is my role here?”

“For now, you’re a meat shield,” said Mazikeen, talking through a mouthful of pepperoni and violently yellow cheese. “Me and Eve are both vulnerable to bullets. I mean – I’m less vulnerable, obviously. But I don’t hate any of my relatives enough to go about finding out exactly how many bullets it takes to snuff a demon. So your job, at least tomorrow, is just to soak up enemy fire until we’ve got our hands on the target.”

Scowling, he said, “Getting shot does hurt, you know.”

“Yeah,” she replied, eyes shining with spite. “Dan sure seemed to think so.”

When the tense silence had stretched for over thirty seconds, Eve clapped her hands, smiling anxiously, and said, “So! Anyone up for rummy?”

(to be continued) 

#mazikeen #eve #michael demiurgos #lucifer #lucifer morningstar #fanfic #my fic #evezikeen