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akuvvv9 · 6 months

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no bc i am CONVINCED something happened between Mike and Will between season 2 and season 3 and here’s why.

The first scene we see of them together is on the movie date at the cinema. (Also, why show Mike noticing something is up with Will in the first place? Will doesn’t even confide in him about what he’s feeling, so why? It’s unnecessary unless they want to show us something about Mike and Will. And if it’s to show Will’s feelings for Mike through lip glances, WHAT ABOUT MIKE???)

Mike looks at Will’s lips while asking if he’s okay, meaning he had been already looking at him since Will hadn’t made any noise or drawn any attention to himself before Mike talks to him. There are many many many scenes of Mike looking at Will’s lips to the point that it’s a meme.

But then, look at Will. We all know Will is in love with Mike, has been for a while he just didn’t fully realize it until some time between season 2 and season 3, and didn’t accept it until some time between season 3 and season 4 (just in my opinion, this is flexible based off of your own perspectives and understandings). Either way, he has always been more discreet, looking when Mike isn’t looking at him in contrast to how Mike checks Will out both when he is and isn’t taking notice.

(Another thought, if we were supposed to pick up on the fact that Will is gay by the fact that he wears shorts shorts, BARELY EVER checks Mike out, is told “it’s not my fault you like girls,” and has been bullied for being queer, what does this say about Mike? Sure, he doesn’t wear short shorts, he wasn’t bullied for being queer except in regards to Will’s queerness, THEN it was always directed towards Mike, and Mike is always checking Will out and I’m gonna keep saying that because people are blind, and the fact that he even said that to Will in their rain fight was so out of nowhere like…what have you been thinking about when you’re alone? Huh? (i know what you are Michael Wheeler.) Then what? The only difference between the two is that Mike has a girlfriend, who he can’t even tell he loves to her face. Just saying. And I know Mike is queer coded in a different way than Will, but he also has all that proof I listed above and probably more. Moving on lol…)

Here’s some of Will looking at Mike in the arcade in S2E1 and in the grocery store in the fruit section S3E7. I don’t need to show examples for Mike because I’m sure we can all think of a bunch off the top of our heads. Will is a little harder to catch though.

Even in season 4 when we all KNOW Will has feelings for Mike, his glances are more discreet, we just see it more often because we are supposed to be aware he’s in love with Mike. So why, just why, does Will glance at Mike’s lips TWICE in the cinema. He knows Mike can see him because they’re talking, Mike is facing him, looking at him because he’s worried and is checking up on him. You could argue it’s because it’s dark, but their faces are illuminated by the screen, so it’s still a bold move on Will’s part. He knows Mike is looking at him and makes the decision to look at his lips twice when he’s usually so good at looking only when Mike can’t notice he is because he already has the subconscious feeling that he is in love with Mike, and that it should be a secret. Especially with what he’s always been bullied for by both his own dad and people at school. He’s learned to hide, which is funny because we all know how good at hiding Will is.

Mike on the other hand, bitch has been checking Will out since the very beginning. When Will tells Mike the roll was a 7, Mike just stares at him. He doesn’t even give a proper response, which is out of character for him. If it were Lucas or Dustin (who wouldn’t of told him the truth in the first place), he would have said something, like actually anything. But with Will, he doesn’t. He just stares at him.

We also know Mike & Will have a deep understanding of each other where they don’t need words to communicate. They finish each other sentences a lot, and in the 7 scene, when Will says, “it was a 7,” Mike furrows his brow. Will knows he’s asking a question without needing any verbal response, so he answers. And even then Mike doesn’t answer, just stares and watches as Will bikes away. (Kinna LGBTQ if you ask me).

Their ability to converse silently with little looks only adds onto the fact that Will thought he was picking up on something after season 2. He doesn’t need to be explicitly told by anybody that Mike is starting to realize things about himself and his feelings for Will because nonverbal communication is what the two have always been best at.

Back to the cinema date, it’s not weird for Mike to be checking Will out because he’s always been doing it. It’s also pretty brief in the movie theater, like he’s doing it with no thought behind it because it’s what he’s always done, so what’s the harm?

Now, for Will, he not only lip glances twice but it’s a longer gaze. A little linger. There is clearly something between them that only Will is reacting to because Mike is preoccupied trying to act straight with El. Maybe some hope that he could be grasping onto something between them.

Later, Will tells his mom he isn’t gonna fall in love. He doesn’t scowl or have a disgusted tone compared to when he saw proof of Jonathan and Nancy’s love. He probably believes that he’s not gonna fall in love, or get reciprocated love, for many reasons. He’s realizing he’s gay, he’s realizing Mike is special to him, he’s realizing that he is also special to Mike, but he says he won’t fall in love because even if he does, even if he’s realizing he’s also special to Mike, Mike can’t love him back because he has El.

Which is why I believe something happened between them some time between season 2 and season 3. It’s clear that El can’t hang out with the party with the way it’s established how she has a curfew and how Mike reacts to her being at the mall with Max.

Also, Dustin was away at summer camp for a month. This means Mike and Will were left alone with the other canon couple in the party, Lucas and Max. Mike and Will spent a lot of time together, and probably picked up on a lot of signs they were attracted to each other.

The differences between how they reacted to that are hidden between their families. Despite being bullied for being queer, Will has Jonathan who is seen supporting Will and his “freakness”. However, Mike doesn’t have anyone like that. He’s probably never seen his parents be in love. The difference between him and Nancy is that Mike is a boy who likes a boy and Nancy is a girl who likes a boy. So Mike hides in his girlfriend to avoid the feelings he knows he has for his best friend.

Anyway, the reason why Will decidedly looks at Mike’s lips when he knows he’s looking, why he lingers and does it twice, is because that he felt okay doing this action for once since Mike did something to make him feel like he could.

Then later, on S3E3, we get the Byler rain fight scene. At first, it really is all about their friendship and how Will feels left behind. But after Mike says, “It’s not my fault you like girls,” the gears shift in Will’s head. We then focus a lot on his face. He doesn’t say anything, meaning we are supposed to be reading something just from his expression. He looks hurt, for obvious reasons, but also like he wants to say something back but he can’t. And it’s noticeable how quiet he is after Mike says that in comparison to how much he was talking before. He thought Mike and him had something that summer, that those lip glances and nonverbal signs and cues meant something, but then it all comes crumbling down once Mike says those words. Will wants to say something, maybe about how he thought he had a chance, how Mike made him think he did, (or maybe even “What the fuck, Mike!?” because…wtf Mike,) but then he realized he didn’t.

This is further backed by what Will says in response to Mike talking about them playing games in his basement forever. “Yeah. I guess I did. I really did.” Because he really thought there was the possibility of that, thought he was picking up on something, but Mike’s words made him realize he didn’t. He was just projecting his own romantic feelings onto the scenario. He’s upset at Mike and himself for being so stupid, stupid for different reason though.

Only fools rush in, and in this moment, Will believes he is the biggest fool of them all.

SOMETHING HAPPENED BETWEEN WILL AND MIKE EARLIER THAT SUMMER AND I KNOW IT.

or maybe i’m delusional because it’s 2am

#byler #stranger things #will byers #mike wheeler #byler proof #byler theory #byler analysis

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yubnubforhire · 9 months

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I’ve seen a lot of people decry criticism of the rwrb movie as simply either homophobic or anti-cringe, with the statement ‘let queer people have our cringe rom-coms’ a common defense. This idea is flawed for many reasons, not least of which being that this movie is like… barely queer. Sure it’s about a queer couple, but that’s about where it stops.

First off there’s the blatant bi erasure, with no discussion of Nora’s sexuality, no June/Nora/Pez, the word bisexual only being used once or twice in the whole movie, etc. Second off is the complete lack of queer education or community: where is Alex learning about the gay lib movement and feeling like he understands something new, deep within himself? Where is Henry talking about his role amongst the erased queer figures of the past? Where are the crowds supporting both of them, in the US and the UK? (the scene at buckingham where you don’t even see the crowd felt so cheap) Where was Amy’s role as queer elder and protector? Where was Luna, and Alex’s realization as to why he looked up to him so much and why his betrayal hurt so bad? Where was Alex realizing he and Liam had actually ‘had a thing’ when they were younger, and reconnecting with him as someone who can fully be himself? Where was all the support when they got outed? Where the fuck was Catherine? Where were Bea and Catherine fighting for them during the confrontation at buckingham? Movie!firstprince feel so isolated and without community, which is just SO not the world CMQ created in the book.

More broadly, the movie just felt so shallow. I completely understand the need for adaptation and translation to a new medium, but so many of the things they changed either lower the stakes or remove them entirely. Bea is a non-character, with no depth or backstory. Nora only exists to tell Alex to fuck Henry. Pez gets all of one line in the entire movie. June does not exist, which should completely change things because Alex does not act like the only/eldest child of the POTUS. We never really see the emails and a lot of them are adapted to onscreen dialogue, so what exactly was leaked? Why are they called the Waterloo letters? No one watching the movie alone will know. Who leaked them? I figure the movie implies it was Miguel, but then why have Richards be a character at all? CMQ was making a point with the Richards/Luna story, and the movie having a new side character as the “villain” is just… so disappointing. We don’t see any of the scenes of Henry acknowledging how fucked up the monarchy is (other than a few throwaway jokes), the comparison to the Empire, any of the Bea storyline, or him trying to avoid military service and renounce his royal inheritance, so the one line towards the end when movie!Henry has an outburst about the monarchy being antiquated is just completely unearned and comes out of nowhere.

They kept the line where Oscar tells Alex that ‘sometimes you just have to jump and hope it’s not a cliff’ but it’s now completely devoid of the context— that line is about Oscar telling Alex he doesn’t regret getting together with Ellen, no matter how it ended. It doesn’t work the same if Oscar and Ellen are still happily married! (Justice for Leo also tbh)

In the confrontation at Buckingham, the king (don’t get me started on the things they changed to avoid comparisons to queen liz) still suggests to Henry that they should claim the leaks are deepfakes and deny it, but Alex already gave the live televised speech in the movie timeline! It’s out already! The entire scene with the king honestly just does not work if Alex has already made the speech. Also side note, there’s absolutely no way in turbohell that Alex would make that speech without talking to Henry first.

There’s so much more I could talk about, from more script shenanigans to the Pip of it all, but this is honestly already way too long. All I want to say now is that it’s obviously everyone’s prerogative to like a movie or not, and nothing anyone else says should change the way you personally feel about a piece of art. That does not mean, however, that any criticism of said art is incorrect or unwarranted. You can like something and still acknowledge its flaws. And no, cringiness is not this movie’s main flaw.

#red white and royal blue #rwrb movie #don’t like don’t read #seriously!#you’re entitled to love this movie and watch it dozens of times #but it’s not immune from criticism #I really wanted to love this movie #but there are just some books that do not and will never work as movies #everything was so rushed #on top of everything else #there was no space to breathe and fall for these characters #rwrb #red white and royal blue movie #rwrb spoilers

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faggy--butch · 4 months

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"I'll also say that this is sometimes supported by the trans man creators, like Jammidoger. It's not just the trans women, it's not just the essayists […]" & "you should feel gender affirmed from the violence done to you because that's just how men are actually".

Thing is, until I found trans men/masc people talking about transmisandry/transandrophobia online, every time I tried interacting with my local trans community, especially with other trans men/masc people, has included them all parroting or agreeing with the above sentiments, and it's why I stopped going to my local support group or interacting with them at all. Hearing those things from some well-known and respected trans women and men in our local community and getting pushback when I wanted to talk about trans masc issues, was just so disappointing.

Which is why I'm happy Jessie made that video and came to the conclusion she did. I left a comment just about my opinion on the matter, that while yes I've felt left out on her videos and wish she included our perspective more often, I also remind myself that she and her co-writer are both trans femme. So I don't take it as intentionally or even unintentionally leaving us out, it's a side effect of people writing what they know, however, that's exactly why I watch her, to get a better perspective for myself of trans women/femme issues.

But there were also lots of trans men and masc people in the comments who said a lot more about what our issues are and the harm it does to exclude us, how we do face similar or even the same kind of violence for the same reasons as trans women and femme people, and that often, her exclusion of us in her videos (especially the Barbie one) is adding onto the already exhaustive history of transandrophobia from within the trans community. While I've not changed or added to my comment, in the face of those others, it felt lacking, but I'm also really kinda exhausted at this point, since I've been fighting against biphobia from both cishet and other queer people most of my life now, so in the face of transandrophobia, I just have no more fight in me and have resorted to elevating the voices of others who do.

Sorry for the rant, you don't have to respond, I guess I just wanted to say thank you for getting a ball rolling and here's hoping it goes farther than other attempts before this.

Hey! I think I actually saw your comment, I thought about it a lot too which is is cool that it's bringing me full circle here but I do also agree in part that because they are trans femmes their thoughts and opinions are bound to be almost exclusively from their perspective. I do also watch for that perspective in part as well, but I feel that bigger trans creators who talk about trans topics, need to remember that there isn't just that one kind.

They have the opportunity to make a difference, to give others a voice, a voice which severely lacking in these spaces. I'm not going to wholesale blame them for perpetuating transandrophobia or anything, but if you're making a video on trans experiences and then leave out a crucial part of that experience, or at worse, uncritically repeat those same ideas as a bigger creator with lots of followers, it can have a serious negative impact on members of that groups and reinforces it, transandrophobia. This reminds me of the video that Abigail Thorne did called Beauty, Food, Mind. A lot of that video is her talking about how fatphobia affects HER, a thin beautiful actress, and doesn't really even mention much of fat struggles, or get fat perspectives, and she gained a lot of criticism within the fat youtube community for it because she had an opportunity and the didn't take it, making fatphobia only about thin people instead. I will be honest, I haven't had much of an irl queer community, I have my friends and I have gone out and interacted, but I'm disabled, and poor. I don't have the chance to go to any sort of community events or anything other than maybe a drag show every now and again especially here were I live now, I moved and am back in my home state, so it does make me nervous to even seek out and find a local community. online it's easier to brush off that kind of thing, not being considered or being talked down to or ignored, and tbh gaslit, but in real life? In my own home area, in my real domain?

I'm not sure I'd know how to cope with that rn, especially because I too have had some, let's just say not great experiences with in few irl trans people semi community type groups.

Lots of people are hurting and they take it out on each other, so I feel like I have to put on a persona, or be more femme to even be taken seriously and that sucks. So yeah, it's a breath of fresh air to be able to talk about transandrophobia online with other men and I'm happy happy happy we have this, but It is disappointing and I think it shows historically why trans men have tended to keep to ourselves.

#asks #transandrophobia

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wen-kexing-apologist · 6 months

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The Greatest Kisses of All Time

So @neuroticbookworm just finished watching Old Fashion Cupcake and @waitmyturtles is never not watching Bad Buddy, and this naturally sparked a conversation around two of the best kisses of all time. The kiss between Togawa and Nozue in Episode 4 of OFC and the kiss between Pat and Pran in Episode 5 of BBS.

For as much as there are similarities in these four characters, namely that Pat and Nozue both exist for years without any understanding of Pran and Togawa’s feelings, and that Pat and Nozue both exist for years without realizing their own queerness. I don’t know how many people who may be reading this were around for the BL-Bracket Best Kiss competition, but myself and quite a few others on here were fighting tooth and nail for the final fighting ring to be Bad Buddy vs. Old Fashion Cupcake because these are just…such emotionally complex, beautifully shot, and masterfully performed feats of acting and filmmaking. But their kisses could not feel more different. So I wanted to take a moment to break these scenes down.

Bad Buddy, Episode 5

There is already so much want and hope and pain in Pran’s eyes when he turns around to face Pat. When Pran says “we aren’t even friends” Pat’s response is this extremely small, ironic smile and an exhaling of breath. When he responds to Pran’s statement, his is listing off all of these barriers to the two of them being together, the tow of them being friends with each other. But the way his voice sounds, the way the music supports makes the words and the emotions so dichotomous. Pat is listing all these reasons that they should not be together, but Ohm delivers these lines like Pat is telling Pran all the reasons they should be. And part of that has to do with the subtle ways in which he undermines the impossibilities of their friendship with the realities of it. “How can we be friends if we live next door to each other but can’t even talk?” but they do talk. They have spent their whole lives talking.

And I think you can kind of tell the way this kiss is going to go at the end (with Pran walking away) with how much sadder Pran progressively gets as Pat continues to talk “[when you were away] I was so damn happy” and Pran looks crestfallen. And again we get a dichotomy here with Pat listing off all these positives of Pran being gone from his life, but the tone that is being set by the irony in Pat’s face and the sadness in Pran’s is building on this idea. Pat is listing all these reasons why being apart from Pran was good for him, but Ohm delivers these lines like Pat is telling him all the reasons why being apart is not an option. The way that realization and hope comes in to Pran’s eyes, in to his face when Pat says “It was so depressingly lonely for me”. Like, that line is fucking tragic, this moment is fucking tragic. Pat admitting how lonely he was is sad, and yet it is the thing that gives Pran hope that finally finally his feelings may be reciprocated.

This is the constant trend. Why should the lines “Do you want to be my friend?” “No.” be so heartwarming and hopeful, so honest and pure, and raw when at face value saying you don’t want to be someone’s friend would not be regarded as a positive thing. The moment of happiness when Pat pulls away from their first soft kiss knowing something is right, the way Pran’s jaw sets in determination when he grabs Pat and pulls him in for more. Their kiss builds and builds and builds in its intensity the longer it goes on, the more time neither of them pulls away, how hungry they both are for it the more it feels right, the more things settle in to place. The look of pure and utterly joyous relief on Pat’s face when they finally part, everything having clicked in to place for him. Finally understanding himself after all of these years, only to have Pran, who has known for so long what he wants, how he feels about Pat, sobbing and walking away because he cannot allow himself to believe this is real.

I think I said this in one of my Our Skyy 2 posts about PatPran that Pat is someone that is unable to ponder. It may take him his entire life up to this point to realize that he has feelings for Pran, but the second that he does, he does not linger on the thought, he does not mull it over, he does not find shame in it. He is upset at Pran because Pran sang their song, because that song is important, because Pran is important, because he wants to be with Pran, and then he immediately goes to tell Pran all of this, to admit his feelings, to kiss him, to want to be together. While Pran has been sitting on this love, this knowledge for years, pining and in pain at all the ways Pat has kept him close while being completely oblivious to both Pran’s feelings for him, and his feelings for Pran. And, I don’t know, maybe it is just that hindsight is 20/20, or that Bad Buddy is so deeply ingrained in me at this point that I may be overestimating my powers of prediction here. But Pran walking away from that kiss was not a surprise. Pat’s reaction to that kiss was not a surprise. You can see every part of where this kiss is going, you can see the pain in Pran’s eyes, you can see the desperation in Pat’s. You know what is going to happen the second they break apart.

But Nozue and Togawa? I am not certain that I can say the same

Old Fashion Cupcake, Episode 4

Honestly throughout most of Old Fashion Cupcake, we do not get anywhere near the level of sexual tension we get between Pat and Pran, though the few moments there are are fucking powerful. Leading up to the Episode 4 kiss, Togawa has convinced Nozue to try to plank, and boy oh boy is it a good excuse to get this hot man on his bed. I do appreciate the fact that there does not appear to be any sexual tension to begin with. Togawa getting on Nozue’s back may look sexually suggestive, but it does not (initially) feel sexually suggestive. And that is in part due to the fact that Nozue is currently distracted, he isn’t tuned in to the sexual tension. And it is a testament to Takeda’s acting prowess that in a split second Nozue is able to go from laughing at being tickled to laying the tension on thick. We move in to the conversation about the positive impact they have had on each other’s lives. A complete opposite of Pat and Pran. This is an admission on Togawa’s part about his feelings for Nozue, even if he does not say that directly.

It is why he starts the conversation with his back to Nozue, it’s why it takes him so long to make eye contact. And Togawa walks away, while Nozue smiles fondly to himself, reflecting on the importance of Togawa to his own life, and I honestly do not think it is until the second that Togawa comes rushing back towards him, saying his name low and with such intensity that it really starts to click for Nozue what is about to happen, what is happening. Over the past few episodes, Nozue has been turning over these thoughts and questions about why he feels so irritable and out of sync when he thinks Togawa has ignored his email. But I do not think it is until Ochi-san calls Togawa and snaps him out of this moment, that the embarrassment kicks in. We enter the continuous shot, Nozue says he has to leave, and he will not make eye contact with Togawa.

And it must be said, that while do not in any way shape or form doubt that Ohm and Nanon could have absolutely demolished a continuous shot for their Ep 5 kiss, I think we rely too heavily on their microexpressions for it to have worked. But here, it is such a brilliant choice, because everything that ends up unfolding is spontaneous, unexpected in some regard. The episode 4 kiss being a continuous shot serves to express and highlight the motion of the scene, the energy of the scene, which is what we need for the eruption that will occur, where we rely more on seeing the difference in the words and the emotions that are coming out of Pat in Ep 5 of BBS. I think that Nozue’s feelings, his realization, his anxiety comes on suddenly, so suddenly that the camera does not have time to cut away. Nozue is panicking, and he is trying to stay emotionally detached in a way that Pat and Pran are not, in a way that Pat and Pran are incapable of. Because Pat has been oblivious and Pran has been repressed, while Togawa has been repressed and Nozue has been oblivious, and Nozue, unlike Pat, is a character that is prone to decision paralysis. His habit of maintaining the status quo because making different choices means something bad might happen, means that he is much more likely to keep things the way they were. To ignore his feelings, or to run from them, unlike Pat who is physically incapable of holding those feelings in his body.

There is desperation between Togawa and Nozue, just as there is desperation between Pat and Pran, but the desperation for Pat and Pran comes from Pat needing Pran to understand his feelings, while the desperation for Togawa stems from trying to stop Nozue from running from his feelings, while Nozue’s desperation is to flee. I love love love that Nozue’s approach here. Where Pat was listing off all these impossibilities for their relationship, that were tragic yet true, and delivered with hope, Nozue is trying to shut down. He is being as polite as he can muster, but he is absolutely not concerned with seeming like he is lying. Again, where Pat is rambling off a list of things that were true but had not been said aloud in years, Nozue is rambling off a list of things that were not true and are only said because Nozue’s brain is disconnected from his body. The first thoughts that pop in to his head are the first things that come out of his mouth, any and every poor and pathetic excuse, and Togawa’s desperate attempts to counter every argument, to try to keep Nozue here. There is a tension underlying the scene that we get through the background music, that is far more discordant than the romantic, hopeful swells we got in Bad Buddy.

Togawa grabs Nozue, and kisses him, and the music cuts out so that it is just silence. Nozue’s mind goes blank, and where we get the intensity of Pat and Pran’s kiss escalating from both sides as their kiss goes on, what we get from Nozue is a physical reaction that his brain has not caught up with. Because at every turn, Nozue kisses Togawa back. But his eyes are wandering, he’s very much uncertain about what is happening. Not in a “do I like this? How does this feel?” kind of way, in my opinion, but in a “how did I get here? What is happening?” kind of way. And then he drops, and Togawa follows, and we get the “I’m seducing you” confession. And for a while Nozue is just frozen there on the ground, but the longer Togawa speaks, the more Nozue’s brain and body finally connect, and the more he seems to relax. He tries to engage Togawa in conversation, they have switched roles as Nozue tries to stop Togawa’s ramble.

And Togawa won’t let him. Pran walks away because he cannot allow himself to hope that Pat is actually serious about liking him, Togawa puts his hand to Nozue’s lips to make sure that he Nozue cannot reject him. Togawa’s internalized homophobia will not allow him to dream of a world where Nozue returns his feelings. So he hurts himself by rejecting Nozue before Nozue can reject him. Togawa asks to be hit, just sits there bowing and waiting to be beaten for being queer, for liking his boss, and you can see the way it hurt Nozue to see that Togawa assumes that Nozue would resort to violence like that. Nozue gets this look of disgust on his face, this look of pain when Togawa tells him he can hit him.

And where I knew where the PatPran kiss was heading, while it was no surprise that Pran walked away at the end of that, I cannot say I know what Nozue would have done if Togawa hadn’t jumped the gun. I don’t think Nozue knows what he would have done if Togawa had let the moment linger. If Togawa had let Nozue speak.

Anyway all of this to say that I love both of these scenes so much, and it is a testament to the acting prowess of all performers involved that so much can be conveyed. That Ohm and Nanon had to film all the rooftop scenes for the entire show in one evening, had to change the nature of Pat and Pran’s relationship as the Qs progressed. That Takeda and Kimura could carry four minutes of an intensely emotional scene where the power and the comfortability must flow between Togawa and Nozue, where Takeda has to stay physically in the scene while ensuring that his character looks and acts like he is in two different places. Pat’s hope, Pran’s despair, Nozue’s understand, and Togawa’s fear are all so visceral, it is no wonder these scenes have made and maintain such an impact.

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martinsharmony · 2 months

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Thank you for your RPF post. I agree. I wake up thinking of scenarios for DT/MS. They're just there, in my head, being in love and content. And I need them there. I need to know that even middle aged queers can find love, that lives adapt, that finding new love doesn't mean abandoning established love.

I need to see happy, older queers thriving in our bigoted, hateful world. Because I don't get to have that happy ending myself. And because young questioning queers need to see it, know they have a chance. To know that not everyone finds their someone(s) in high school or college. To know that everyone's path and timeline are different.

And MS and DT are such lovely people, inside and out, truly kind and giving and they deserve happiness in whatever shape that takes. It warms my poor, injured heart to see them gazing at one another adoringly, their softness for each other plain on their faces. To see them choose to be in each other's lives over and over. Like, how wonderful! How can someone hate on that? They're little bright spots in my cloudy world.

My shipping them with never affect them. I don't know them, I'm not in their circles, they will never know I exist. If any of them are seeking out the RPF fics, then they are reading them intentionally because they want to. (I'm sure MS has written and submitted some himself based on various interviews over the years.) They aren't fighting allegations of a relationship, they continuously fuel them, even. Something I don't think they'd do if they felt it was harmful to their careers, untrue, or as queerbaiting. They're allies at a minimum, they wouldn't cheapen the lived experiences of other queers for a couple of extra asses in seats at a show.

Anyhow, thank you for your well thought out post and for making me feel seen, even as I hide behind an anonymous ask.

Thank you so, so much for writing this. My apologies in taking so long to respond.

And thank you for saying that my post made you feel seen. I truly appreciate that. RP shippers are the red headed step children in the fandom world. You saying you felt seen by my writing made ME feel seen by your appreciation, and truly by receiving this ask as well.

I agree with you. I have never seen anything so wholesome in my life as the way Michael and David are with each other. They just exude love. It's so pure. I really don't understand the vitriol against it. I mean the majority of our "fuel" comes from them in the 1st place. Plus it's evident when you watch them interact.

I just chalk up the hate to it saying more about them than us.

And yes, of course people can find love at any age and regardless of what state their current relationships are already in. Why should we think they are not with each other because they are each already in relationships? Because they are famous? Because they have kids? That makes no sense. People do it every day.

Yeah no way they are doing this for any kind of "marketing" or whatever, except to provide some kind of narrative that would allow them to hide in plain sight. That way they can be just about as "free" to be themselves and show as much affection toward one another as reasonably feasible. I wish they could feel 100% free to be out in the open with it, but I also realize they probably prefer privacy as well.

I look to them as relationship goals. I hope to someday find someone that I feel as at home with as I believe they feel with each other.

#shennant #sheenant #ineffable lovers #michael loves david #david loves michael #rps #real person shipping #michael x david #david x michael #ask #SlashWhore

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admirableadmiranda · 1 year

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Hi, I'm new to this fandom and saw about your stand against Jiang Cheng and I'm genuinely curious, could I ask you why do you hate the character so much? I'm genuinely curious.

Hello! Welcome to the MDZS fandom! It’s a really interesting place to be.

I do think you are perhaps misunderstanding my fight, and it’s understandable, there’s a lot of history behind it. But I don’t actually hate Jiang Cheng the book character at all.

He’s a fantastic antagonist, one who has enough happen to him that he’s understandable without justifying his actions. His anger and bitterness make him incredibly active, which can help move the plot along well, and the fact that he is also Wei Wuxian’s personal antagonist makes him very fun and relevant as you need the antagonists that can make a character hurt personally for stories of this type.

As his general character archetype, I think he’s done really well. I quite enjoy him in the context he is supposed to be seen as, the younger person who grew up with the hero who instead of attempting to better himself, tore down those around him in an attempt to put everyone on the same level.

My problem (and my fight) is that the character of Jiang Cheng in Modaozushi is not the Jiang Cheng that is in the fanfics and the art and the meta and discussions.

The Jiang Cheng that you see in fanfics and metas that isn’t under the Not JC Friendly on Ao3 or #canon jiang cheng tag on tumblr is one that is no longer an antagonist or in character, but someone else entirely. Someone who no longer slots into the world of MDZS as if he were actually the person they posit him to be, the events that he is responsible for would have never happened. Quite simply they take the character I enjoy, erase all of his actual traits and then show up to scream at me for writing him wrong, or lying about the book, or not knowing how to read.

Or they are gleefully celebrating classism and homophobia with him. I can’t tell you how many posts I’ve seen that are basically “he’s right to be homophobic because Wangxian are annoying and he should hate them for that”. In a danmei fandom. About the lead couple. I already have dealt with more than enough homophobia in my daily life, why do I have to deal with it in a fandom for a novel in which the leads are a happily married queer couple?

I have been in this fandom for a year and a half. I tag my posts appropriately. When I was requested to not put character hate in the main tag (and novel quotes qualified as character hate), I did as they asked and invented my own tag. Sure it’s a little snarky, but it’s also an easy one to block and allows others like myself who enjoy the character as he is in the book to find my stuff. On ao3, I’ve written a few fics that use him in it as he is in the book and tagged it not for JC fans as they requested.

Do you know what I got?

I have anon hate for using my tag, the very tag I created in response to their request. On my fics that use him, I have people showing up to cry that he’s out of character and I can’t write. When I did all that I could do to try and enjoy a character as he is in canon and as they continually say is what they want. “You don’t have to like him, just tag your stuff so we don’t have to see it.”

I do stand against his stans. I have blocked many of them and gotten in arguments with many others. You are new to this fandom so you wouldn’t have seen this, but a year ago one of them wrote a fanfic about Lan Wangji murdering Wei Wuxian because they were mad about the very existence of the not for jc fans tag, and tagged it with romance and fluff tags so that fans of wangxian would click on it and read a horrible, deliberately hurtful fic and gleefully celebrated it on Twitter.

Why should I not stand against them? They have bullied so many people out of this fandom for not writing Jiang Cheng in the way they want. That is not okay. This is a massive fandom in places where it is very easy to filter and tag, and they try to bully and chase us out of the whole fandom because we don’t like their made up version of a character, or the fact that they are homophobic and shitty to the leads and to me and my friends and my followers.

Welcome to Modaozushi fandom, new reader. It’s a very volatile place with a long history. This is my section of it. And that is why I tag with canon jiang cheng and do not take any shit from people who have umbrage with that.

Thanks for the ask, I hope you have a really great day and at least consider my words even if you don’t agree with them. I suspect if you do, we will never have a problem with each other.

#mdzs #canon jiang cheng #asks #fandom history

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decolonize-the-left · 1 year

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I’m not a registered democrat, I have campaigned for a progressive before, but I’m gonna be real with you. If democrats are “pro-Democracy” and republicans are the “fascists” than why the fuck do the democrats not have debates this year but do have superdelegates? But the repubs don’t have superdelegates and do have debates (even when RFK Jr and Marianne Williamson are both doing better in the polls against Biden then any of the republicans other than DeSantis are doing against trump)? You can make the case he’s an incumbent but half the democrats want someone new. I can’t be the only one who sees this nonsense

fascism(n.)

fas·cism ˈfa-ˌshi-zəm

a political philosophy, movement, or regime (such as that of the Fascisti) that

exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader

severe economic and social regimentation

and forcible suppression of opposition

I can't post more than 10 links on a post anymore so I can't provide sources proving that the USA has met all-if not most- of these check marks. But it has. And it has for a long time, before Trump and before Obama. Regardless of party.

Because fascism is fascism. Just like democracy is democracy regardless of which party you align with. Why would which fascist party you like matter? Its fascism.

Like when was the last time any of us Genuinely had a say in anything? We're just now coming out of centuries of genocide, slavery, and systematic abuses against minorities. We all just got human rights within the last generation and not even all of them. And we had to fight tooth and nail, lose family for the ones we do have.

And that's not even talking about how long it took us to get our right to vote and it's still actively & shamelessly suppressed every election.

And we're slipping backwards? Already?

Does our "democracy" think the people suddenly lost interest in the rights and protections our previous generations fought for? Funny that while also adding more laws to make protesting illegal and more funding and protections to police. Did you know Biden labeled people protesting specifically against fascism as terrorists part of a terror group (antifa)?

Why?

Who does it benefit to strip us of rights?

Why do it when that's Not what we want?

What could They want for us?

Why are they censoring protests critiquing capitalism?

Do you want people deciding which rights you should have For you when they think you shouldn't have less?

Is the way this country is functioning right now a healthy democracy?

This is something that someone just made in contrast to the above images I'm sure. I can't find any indication online this is a genuine list.

But it does make a very strong point about the political leanings of the US political climate. And it's certainly not leaning towards any of these things. Always seems to be justifying attacking them or not supporting them instead...which goes back to the scapegoats checkpoint.

The first thing Nazis did was blame minorities for the state of the country. As soon as they had enough support, they started rounding us up.

Kinda like how Mexicans are stealing jobs, Black people steal cuz they don't work, queers are perverting our youth and welfare queens are stealing from taxpayers.

And what are the Dems doing about this rhetoric?

Pushing you right every chance. Like using the pied piper strategy for their nationwide campaigning. Like having superdelegates and not letting progressives participate.... But yeah Republicans will.

At least they listen, right? At least they're honest.

Makes that step right seem way easier than you thought before. Funny, innit?

Democrats are truly personifying the ratchet effect but not just by allowing republicans to pass awful policy while doing Nothing in return. They're also doing nothing at best while the right recruits more and more people (and helping at worst).

I think there are a lot of people in our government who are there for good reason and with good intentions and are "pro-democracy."

I think very few of them are aware enough of the bigger picture to realize they're cogs in a well oiled fascist machine.

That is to say only fascists work in fascist governments.

They're all fash. Not just repubs. Not just Dems.

The only people I have any hope for are progressives and leftists willing to throw a wrench in it.

I'd happily vote for Marianne or Bernie or Andrew Yang if it meant giving fascists a run for their money.

Nothing would scare them more than the people having spare money and time to organize. And we'd have that with higher wages or ubi or universal healthcare.

Voting for a socialist is the best way to beat a fascist. Socialists fundamentally believe everyone deserves rights. There is no greater challenger to fascism than that.

It's why Democrats refuse to push Bernie and Marianne and Andrew Yang. It's why candidates like them with campaigns focused on social programs and increasing life quality are reduced to clowns and radicals nobody should take seriously.

It's all propaganda. All of it.

As long as we still have the ability to vote we should be voting for people like them.

Who cares if they aren't perfect, you know? We're living in the setup stages of another genocide.

Who cares if we lose when we lose either fucking way at this point. Biden is the fucking president and he can't stop what Desantis is doing???? Won't challenge it???

We need someone who will. And WE, together, need to stop settling and putting up with less when we can have So Much More.

Anyone telling you to vote for Biden is a psyop for fascists and I stand by that.

Voting for parties like green party or independents or whatever is not "fascism" because it's splitting the vote. I don't care what Democrats and liberals tell you. It's just you exercising your right to vote for a representative that represents you. Which is what a healthy democracy is supposed function like.

If they call you a fascist/psyop/Russian/bot it's time to start really analyzing what principles and beliefs Democrats stand for in 2023. Do they want you to vote with their beliefs and principles or have they shaped their nationalism to align with their political party which they want you to support without question?

And if they start pressuring you because "the fascists" will win without a unified vote on a democratic candidate then it's time to start considering more aggressive approaches to fascism if we are ONLY ever one election away from it.

If we are One vote away then voting isn't enough to keep it away anyway. And this "warning" coming from the same party year after year that's ALSO promised to "address (voter sticking point) after we win the votes we need" for decades in a row now.

They didn't. In fact we don't have Roe v Wade over it. We're losing human rights over it.

And now Democrats are the Only ones who can stop fascists, huh?

#asked #answered #damn I kinda went off huh #politics #voting #electoral politics #leftist #anarchist #us politics #us elections #Democrats #liberals #vote #capitalism #biden

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bloggingboutburgers · 11 months

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I love your comic so much. I look forward to every new one. It makes me feel seen. I am so sorry that that anon accused you of that. I showed your comic to a friend and they did not see it as homophobia at all. Merely that you were saying both kinds of Pride can and should exist. Something I have seen, especially on this site, is this almost fearful reaction that if space is made for sex-repulsed asexuals then someone would have to give up space. When...I have never seen a sex-repulsed asexual want that at all. I have only ever seen people wanting inclusion, not exclusion. Make space for everyone.

Right?? We're already having enough trouble feeling included in queer spaces, with people being exclusionists, and of course feeling included in society because of how sex and romance driven everything is in it, so... Why in the hell wouldn't we want inclusion above all else?

Like – I can understand people, regardless of orientation, reacting strongly because of their personal hurt. I just hope it can be recognized that ALL of us are hurting and that it should be a fight we fight together, with our diverse experiences being recognized as what they are, diverse, but together, not divided fights in smaller groups that are all feeling rejected from society in one way or another. Failing to protect any queer group within the queer population as a whole can hurt other groups on the long run.

Anyway seriously thank you so much for the kind words and reassurance TwT I may be speaking self-assuredly and whatnot on the topic but getting backlash and gaslighting throughout life for being ace does mean I'll always have that one part of me that's still full of nagging anxiety and self-doubt regardless TwT But I'm getting more support than I ever have about it these days and I'm super grateful. I really hope it can be a hopeful message for all of us TwT

#that sounds carebearsy but god we need the positivity #anon #thank you so much #asexuality #queer solidarity

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twig-tea · 11 days

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Lady Boy Friend Is Getting Interesting (at ep 7/16)

Nobody should take this as an endorsement to watch the show, because I think it is really hard to watch for most people and for good reason (it's also hard for me to watch at points). But Lady Boy Friend the Series is doing some really interesting things, and I have to talk about it. It took several episodes before I could get the sense of the overarching plot but now that I do understand what it's doing I'm really curious about where it's going. Spoilers for plot points through to ep7 follow from here.

The core plot of this show is about a class of high school students. The main character is Jeedny, who shows up on the first day of what I think would be equivalent to North American high school (~Grade 10) out of the closet as kathoey, but all of the other kids who are kathoey don't trust her because they've all been out for years and already have their own cliques. So they treat her cattily (they also treat each other cattily, to be fair), and she responds badly by pranking them. She starts desperately grabbing for attention; first by trying to fit in, and when she's rejected, she tries for attention by standing out, and it's not taken well by her peers. Finally in this episode it got to a point where the other kathoeys in her grade have banded together across clique lines to ostracize Jeedny, and it all comes to a head when she finally admits that she's been shitty to them but that it was in response to being rejected in the first place. Everyone apologizes to her but says they'll just stay out of her business, and she's left alone again which is the opposite of what she wanted.

Meanwhile the boys in the class have their own drama. There is a playboy (Jet) who starts flirting with another boy (New) who is cautious but enjoying the attention. It takes a few episodes of concerted flirting to get through that Jet is seriously interested and not just teasing him, and New starts to believe that maybe this could be real. They have sex, and then Jet ghosts New. When New tries to confront him, Jet acts totally disinterested and says he's just not into him like that. New is heartbroken and Jet is clearly discomforted by that; when New starts emotionally distancing himself from Jet and showing disinterest, that discomforts Jet even more. Jet keeps trying to get New's attention back but New's not having it, and he calls Jet out on his bullshit. Jet's own friends also call him out on how his actions differ from his words and how he seems to be leading people on, both New and the girls he dates, and how uncool that is. Jet seems to be unable to leave New alone.

I appreciate that this series is wrestling with in-fighting, cliques, how difficult it can be to get past queer gatekeeping, and how we band together against what we see as a threat. I also love how it's getting in how isolating that can feel if you're on the other side of it, and how difficult it is to come at your queerness at a different age than your peers (even though Jeedny is still so young!). I love that this show has a plotline around "straight" fuckboys and the very real games they play. I appreciate that in the conflict between the kathoey characters, nobody is in the right.

We're only just about halfway through the series, and I still don't have a a sense of what the back half of the show is going to be about (it could all still fall apart), but for now, now that the first half has crystallized into a plot I'm enjoying it. Even when these characters are being awful to one another it feels very familiar and...comforting, in a way. Sometimes I miss being in queer spaces and need to hear people insult one another for five minutes and then offer to throw hands at any outsiders who so much as look at the person they were just insulting with their whole chest.

So why am I not shouting for people to go give this show a try? There is a lot of Thai humour (more specifically the brand of Thai humour that reminds me of older series like Make it Right and Diary of Tootsies) in this show that doesn't necessarily land well, because it's based in puns which just don't translate, fatphobia, colourism, toilet humour, sexual aggression against men as comedy, etc. There are parts that I find hard to watch, and parts that I find boring. There are some scenes that I just don't know what to do with, e.g. when one of the boys is asked to provide a sperm sample for their science class to look at under a microscope. The acting is very uneven, quality of the cinematography, colour grading, sound, and other production elements are low budget. The translation is also lacking, which makes watching all that much harder.

A lot of the comments on MDL are about how this show feels transphobic and I can see why they'd say that, especially in the early episodes. The kathoey characters can come across like caricatures rather than people, especially at first (some of this I chalk up to these characters being young and trying to establish their identities; this does also improve as the show goes on), and the joke seems to consistently be that none of them are attractive or likeable to the male characters (possibly also improving as the show goes on, we'll see). There are many ways in which it's not a good show. It is about the ways we can be terrible to each other even as it's also about how we can hold each other up, which is understandably not something people necessarily want to watch. I really struggled at first, and even as it's become more clear what the show is doing, there hasn't yet been enough of a turn to get fully away from the parts that are difficult, and I'm not expecting the show to ever fully stop being difficult for me at times (it would be unrealistic to expect this show to become something completely different from what it is).

But even with all of that, I'm tentatively excited by the themes it's exploring and wanted to share.

#lady boy friends the series #bl meta #typed so that i can stop thinking it #who knows how this will end up in the end #but i'm enjoying what I think it's trying to do #also just to say I feel like I'm not placed to judge what parts of this show are or are not offensive #i think it's important to take shows in their cultural context #that's why I'm not describing this show in terms of being problematic or bad but rather in terms of landing badly #i struggled a lot with how to write this post #long post

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the-belle-siblings · 5 months

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(Ooc) btw S. V. Left a long message for Terra.

Ooc because this is actually serious stuff to talk about:

Pride wasn't the only thing involved in those situations. It was the will of the individual to act. It cannot all be attributed to something as simple as pride. I didn't even take the comment of being called gay as an insult I was simply explaining that it isn't quite a compliment either. Especially how it's typically used in a derogatory way most times. (It obviously wasn't in your situation but the ask I was given sorta made it out that I had taken it as insult. I did not, Terra was upset that she was told her plans all fail not that she was called gay. I thought it was a point that should be mentioned anyways.)

Being queer is tough, it's full of challenges. It's the power of the individual to realize "Hey, I am actually your equal and your not gonna treat me like crap." That's what gets things done, it's more spite and will then actual pride. That's my point.

Being queer is being beaten down and holding onto the most simple things because we are powerful and spiteful and alive, not prideful. We group around each other, spit on our wounds and stand up even though we're outnumbered, because we know that we don't deserve to be treated as lesser. Pride suggests that we deserve to be put onto a pedestal which isn't at all the case.

Everything we've accomplished is queer spite, queer sweat, queer tears, queer blood, queer love, queer community. We aren't prideful gods above all creation we are simple human beings raising banners with our blood for the sake of life. We are survivors of our every day existence. It is a constant battle and yet recently we have been deceived by our foes and told that the war is over.

It is not over. It has simply just begun.

We still continue to lose our rights because they aren't protected by our government. And we don't fight back! Why? Because "you already have pride month" or "it was worse back in my day." We are actively being gaslit! We hardly have any control over our lives and we're being told "grow up you liberal snowflake."

You can be proud of who you are and not change a damn thing about the world around you. However if you love who you and your community are, you will likely feel spiteful towards those who threaten you. Love is more powerful than pride.

If you love your people you're going to help them. That's where everything comes from. It comes from love and spite. "I hate that you hurt the thing I love so I'll take care of it and show it off!" That's us. It's all about the kindness in our hearts and the motivation for change. Love and Spite. In other words, passion.

Queer Passion > Gay Pride

Pride can only get you so far but with passion, you move forwards no matter what. Because you want that change. You need that change. This whole damn world needs to change.

Oppression is prideful. They view themselves as above others for the reasons they find in a delusional man's novel. They view themselves as above others as a desperate cling to power. They are prideful, selfish, idiotic, and greedy.

That's why I believe in passion over pride.

Though Pride month does sound a bit better than Passion month I must admit.

I'm saying this as queer person who struggles with their gender identity and sexuality. I've been called slurs and misgendered and deadnamed. When it comes to myself I get the adrenaline rush and I drop it. However if I hear it about my brother or one of my friends I'm legit ready to lay someone out.

I have legitimately almost fought someone for calling my brother a slur. That isn't pride! That's love for my family and friends and my community! That's spite and rage towards my oppressors! Me shouting as I'm shaking in anger and fear isn't my pride, it is my individual passion to help those I care about!

We are brave passionate individuals and we need to step up and do something about the way our world is. Boycott products run by homophobic people, spread awareness posts, start protests in the streets, give speeches, run for office, ANYTHING OTHER THAN SITTING AROUND DOING NOTHING!!!

Sorry for the very long rant though I'm just very passionate about this kind of topic.

#ooc #asks #queer rights #queer passion #gay pride #rant #our world is crap we gotta do smth

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bowiebond · 2 years

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I entirely believe Jonathan has anger issues like Billy; but he’s a bottler. It’s what happens to a lot of teens who become parentified (unfortunately most poor kids with single parents get parentified/become a stand in for a spouse, and Jonathan definitely has had to take on that role so Will can grow up like he has two parents even if he only has one).

Where Billy lashed out because he got sacked with Max who wasn’t related to him/hadn’t been around long - Jonathan has always had Will. Probably always looked out for him, especially during Lonnie’s abuse. I’m sure when Jonathan lived with Lonnie he did pick fights to steer him away from Joyce or Will. Jonathan has all the indicators of being the protector, of knowing when to shut up and shut down, and when to fight. He knows how to. Likely got taught by his dad during the ‘good times’ when Lonnie was just being ‘dad’ and not ‘asshole’.

From the framing of the show, we can estimate that they got away from Lonnie a year or two before the show began. Seeing as Jonathan shows Will the song ‘should I stay or should I go’ when he was about 11. Jonathan would have been about 14/15 when they got out seeing as the brothers have a 3-4 year difference like Max and Billy. (If my math is wrong I apologise).

Jonathan was lucky. He had a support system, lived with Will his whole life and already knew he had to protect him above all else. When Will goes missing and ‘dies’, both Jonathan and Joyce act like they’ve lost a child. Their son almost. Jonathan blames himself like most parents do for ‘not being home on time’ the night he disappeared, and Joyce goes on about him still being alive, in the walls, and the bottle bursts for Jonathan on the street where people watch him scream at his mother. He cries himself to sleep because of the guilt and mourning, the pressure of Wills funeral on him because his mother is going ‘crazy’.

Jonathan only allows himself to lash out when people target his family (not even really Nancy, as much as they tried to push that in the police station scene 🙄). Steve calls him a queer, a perv, a freak, breaks his camera, shoved him around, and he’s obvious angry but he doesn’t lash out. He chooses to walk away and you can see him slowly drawing in and up, containing himself, and it isn’t until Steve digs at his dead brother that he punches him.

If he just wanted to win that fight, he probably could have instead of practically wrestling with Steve. He’s not happy about the fight, he looks downright miserable, like he wants to cry, and he’s not really hitting Steve because he insulted him. He’s hitting Steve because he insulted his family. The brother that’s possibly dead, that is still missing, his mother who’s going insane and leaving everything to him, even prodding at how he was a ‘screw up’ like Lonnie.

In this moment, Jonathan is very much like Billy. Billy taunts and picks fights, but he doesn’t like them. He’s easing the lid on his own bottle, his own anger, and it eases the anger sure but then you just feel shitty, your hands hurt, your face hurts, you get backed into corners and panic, you lash out because you’re angry and you’re scared if you don’t stop fighting, your opponent will win. Your abuser will win. You’ll fear being seen as weak.

Jonathan’s lucky. He did get out. Steve provoked their fight, and he got his brother back, so it was okay. He got to focus on being a protector instead of on surviving. Billy had to focus on surviving and protecting the kid that’s been thrown into his lap.

Jonathan and Billy are very alike. Jonathan was just forced to grow a longer fuse and already had a heavy attachment to Will. Billy’s fuse is as short as the chain around his neck that Neil holds.

Maybe once, Jonathan was like Billy in some ways outside of the house. The ‘freak’ loner kid who punched other kids for calling him a pussy because his father already did at home. Because it made him manly even if he cried alone right after. Would explain why he had no friends, why people avoided him, why he didn’t seem to want friends until someone (Nancy) needed him to help them. Because he was a quiet kid with a fuse ready to blow at any second if someone said the wrong thing about him or Will. Maybe he got labelled a queer too because he brawled with the older kids who made fun of Will for being one too.

Who knows? We don’t know a lot about Jonathan pre-series outside of implications. The show relies on a lot of those when it comes to their abuse victims…

#Jonathan byers #character meta #billy hargrove #stranger things #tw child abuse #tw slurs

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monkeyslunch · 10 months

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The Plight of Pride

During and after Pride month and events every year, I hear many interesting things. I understand that you may have concerns and questions about Pride events and the LGBTQ2S+ community.

Do you know why Pride was formed? Or why it continues to exist today?

Pride originally emerged as a response to the systemic discrimination, violence, and marginalization of LGBTQ2S+ individuals. From denial of service at businesses to being jailed for being gay, losing your job, and more. Pride provided a safe space to come together, celebrate identities, and demand equal rights and acceptance in society. Pride has always been about fostering inclusivity, promoting visibility, and advocating for the basic human rights that everyone deserves.

So why is it still necessary? Surely we’ve gotten past all that, haven’t we?

Let's address the misconception that LGBTQ2S+ individuals are constantly forcing their identities on others. It's important to recognize that Pride events and other awareness initiatives are not about imposing anything on anyone. They are held as a response. A response to the ongoing discrimination and threats to LGBTQ2S+ rights that persist in our society. Last year alone, a staggering 240 bills were proposed in the United States with the intent to strip away rights from LGBTQ2S+ people. Think about that. Even one bill could have life-altering consequences, yet last year there were 240. Similar challenges have been seen in Canada and many other countries. And when faced with such attacks on their rights, it becomes necessary for queer individuals to stand proud and assert their identities in the face of adversity. And that fight can’t be won without allies.

The goal is not to need events like Pride.

If we genuinely want Pride and other awareness events to diminish, we must understand the cause and effect at play here. Being an ally in the fight for equitable rights for all is crucial. When we achieve a society where everyone is truly equal and respected, events like Pride won't be necessary. By standing up against discrimination and advocating for equal rights, we can work towards a more inclusive society. Sadly, many of us don’t understand that and decide to do more harm than good with our time, attention, and voices.

Why not 'straight pride?'

Events like 'straight pride' and other reactionary movements do more harm than good. They do not recognize anyone’s struggle or any community’s adversity. No. And they aren’t formed out of a deep love for a culture either; let’s be honest. They are reactionary, ignorant, and bigoted. If you think you should have straight pride then you either don’t understand why Pride is even necessary, or you’re straight-up hateful. Initiatives like ‘straight pride’ perpetuate and normalize homophobic and other bigoted rhetoric, further marginalizing and devaluing the struggles of LGBTQ2S+ individuals. I have even heard people complaining that we should have holidays and celebrations for veterans instead. But these folks aren’t putting their energy into the veterans they claim to love; if they were, they would realize that holidays, months, and other events for veterans already exist (a simple google away). It’s not about veterans, though. Or straight pride. It’s about hate, intolerance, and discomfort, or sometimes worse: ignorance and apathy.

Said another way, straight people don't need 'Straight Pride.'

No one is denying straight people services because they’re straight. No one is telling straight people they’re an abomination because they’re straight. No one targets straight people with hate because they’re straight. No court decides if you have the right to love because you are straight. No court decides if you have the right to exist because you are straight. No country is jailing you because you are straight. So again, if you support 'straight pride' or think you need it, you 100% miss the point.

It's essential to recognize that Pride is not about superiority or exclusion; it's about equality and acceptance. It's about acknowledging the diverse experiences and identities within our society and creating a world where everyone can live authentically without fear. Right now, people can’t. So we defend. If you want Pride, other events, social media campaigns, or any of it to stop, then help stop the hate.

We have Pride to raise awareness, normalize LGBTQ2S+ identities, and combat ignorance. It's important to remember that in certain areas, LGBTQ2S+ individuals are still fighting for their lives. Discrimination, violence, and mental health disparities disproportionately affect queer individuals, and Pride serves as a reminder of the progress that still needs to be made.

Empathy is key to understanding the struggles faced by marginalized communities. Put yourself in their shoes—imagine living in a society that doesn't fully accept or recognize your identity. Try to reflect on the impact of discriminatory legislation and its implications on real people's lives. What if you could be jailed? Weren’t allowed to marry? Could lose your job for being who you are? Were the subject of foul hate and harm just for existing? By embracing empathy and education, we can strive for a society that celebrates diversity and ensures equal rights and opportunities for everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity, or the many other identifying factors that make us human.

#straight pride #straight privilege #pride #calling all allies #bigots #why is my family so dumb #lgbtq #lgbtq community #lgbtq2s+#equality

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elatedandexasperated · 8 months

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So there's been some discussion on RWRB actually being a "gay movie"

Most posts I've seen have more or less summarized that the movie is effectively a "straight romance" featuring a mlm coupling, which annoys me a bit. I can't say that this take is entirely wrong per say - I mean, I've called it basically a Hallmark movie, which I still think is true - but it's not devoid of queer experience like a lot of people seem to think it is...

and that "Hallmark" comparison, which I still stand behind, I feel comes more from structure than content.

You can take the film at face value or read deeper into it and still find a case for this argument. Most of this pertains to the movie alone, I'm personally in the camp that if you're going to analyze a piece of media, it should stand on its own. So while the book may have different expressions and levels of inclusion, remember, it's a book, not a 2-hour time boxed movie

Production

Right off the bat we have the movie's production. I'm not going into speculation on TZP or NG's sexuality out of respect, neither have confirmed or denied being part of the community and that's frankly their business and privacy. In a bit I will go into the text of the film regarding the characters, but I don't want to drag the actors into this any further than saying they did an excellent job portraying the characters.

Lopez, though, who is publicly out as gay, as well as McQuistion who is NB, have both put their messaging and perspectives on queer experience into the book and by extension the film and that much is very clear through things like the inclusion of Intimacy Coordinator Robbie Taylor Hunt (another Gay man) as a way of trying to keep the intimate scenes grounded and realistic. So in the production alone there were clear attempts to visually represent authentic queer experiences. I think this is honestly the main reason why the main relationship is so compelling: the actors vibed well with each other (to the point that it was the initial feud that seemed contrived and unrealistic, which is just hilarious to me) and the coordinator worked with everyone collaboratively to keep things grounded, realistic, and to prevent it from going too far into the realm of fetishization from a visual standpoint.

As for the writing, we obviously are going to see most of the relatable queer experiences pop up in the lead roles:

Henry

Henry's character is arguably where the representation of queer experience is most explicit - at least from a level that regular (read straight) viewers would get without a lot of hand holding. At a surface level there's the classic "what will my family think?" questioning and general anxiety of being outed. Most of us in the community can relate to that, but in all honesty this is pretty standard fare and not the meat and potatoes of why I wanted to write this, what I am now realizing, unreasonably long rant breakdown *inhales*

ANYWAY.

At a deeper level though, Henry's struggle isn't so much internal as it is external. Yes there's internal angst still about being able to love openly, but in the film it's pretty clear that a good chunk of his family is aware of his sexuality (the statement that the king had a conversation with him when he was 18, him being open with Bea, etc.); He's also pretty confident in his sexuality already (he fairly easily explains his sexuality to Alex, and has confidence in his sexual experience). I'll go into this when we talk about Alex more, but I think this stems from the characters being aged up, but what this also does is shifts the narrative from simply "coming out" to dealing with abusive relatives and power systems after you've come to terms with who you are as a person, and then finding the strength to actually fight them once you've built up your support network.

And progress isn't linear for anyone on this - we relapse, mourn old relationships with people and family we thought would support us, and sometimes silence ourselves because "it's easier"; we see this happen with Henry pretty explicitly when he runs from the lake house. The reconciliation with Alex isn't flawless either: Henry requests time and patience with things so he can slowly begin his process of actually tackling the issue of how his sexuality and relationship with Alex relates to and impacts his professional duties. Alex, in true found-family style, gives him the support that he both wants and needs at that point in the story.

Alex

Alex's portrayal in the film I think has been the more controversial of the two (Not in terms of actor choice, TZP is a fantastic actor... Also fine as hell but that's beside the point). Most people who read the book criticize his relatively short "Bi-panic" period and how they felt it was more fleshed out in the book. Again, we're dealing with a time boxed movie here, so obviously the book will have more details. That being said, I don't think it was as unrealistic as people make it out to be if you dig a bit. This part gets a bit speculative, but stick with me here.

While I can't relate to a Bi coming out being a gay man and all, I think people should look at some context regarding the character's background: Alex is an incredibly flirtatious, personable, and media-savvy character who is also steeped in left-leaning politics. He knows what bisexuality is and given that he had a few same-sex experiences, has probably come to terms with that before his conversation with Nora in her office. In that scene he even stated that being into guys was something he understood for himself, his main source of "panic" was more the realization that he was specifically into Henry, someone he was actually angry and antagonistic with for several years.

As for why he seemed trepid first telling Henry he was Bi, and this is speaking from experience, there's a huge difference between coming to terms with who you're attracted to and putting a label on it for the first time, even to yourself. I think TZP acted that awkwardness well, especially in the Paris scene where, to shift gears a bit, the driving queer experience is Alex's inexperience with going that far with other guys, something most of us go through at some point. And again, in good, supportive fashion, Henry guides Alex through the process without judgement.

Alex and Henry

Both Alex and Henry are older in the movie than they are in the book, a fact that Lopez confirmed via interview. Even though it's only a few years, there's a huge difference in understanding your identity between your late-teens/early 20s and your mid 20s (generally speaking, people can come out at any age and that's completely fine. Everyone deserves to come out at their own pace and in their own way). With this, I think they did a good Job shifting the narrative from the more internal conflict of "who am I", which is very common in teen-centered dramas, to the more nuanced experience of figuring out how "Who I am" is going to impact your relationships and professional life, which I think is more befitting older characters. With Alex, it's how it will look to voters/impact on his mother's reelection AND how it impacts Henry's professional responsibilities; with Henry, it's his duties to the royal family and appearances.

*PHEW*

There's a lot more too when you dig. A personal... Um, well "favorite" isn't a great word, but you get my point - is how some members of the community will actively sabotage others for personal gain: Miguel outing them for the sake of professional ambitions (and maybe some light petty retribution for Alex dumping him, wherein Alex was justified) is unfortunately a pretty common experience.

I'm sure that there will be more to add for this if there's a sequel, which I hope there is and that they bring McQuiston in for (talk about marketing: she writes the outline based on the movie and the novel based on the first book which releases at the same time as the second movie. People would go nuts I'm sure).

Asides

We as a community spent years reading into media to find scraps of representation because that's all we could get, but I think we're not great at reading into it with more explicit movies that, while maybe building themselves off of "traditional" genre frameworks, still have those queer experiences. I think we set our standards too high sometimes because we are so starved for representation. What we got in this movie is, at least in my opinion, decent representation and authentic experiences for many people in our community, it's just subtle and maybe requires a deeper read of a character or scene. I picked up on some of these points and I hope other people can see some of the arguments I'm making here.

As a complete aside, I think we've been brainwashed a bit to think that "queer experiences = struggle" automatically and we're too quick to disregard queer media as "not gay enough" if there's not a suitable amount of angst or a particular identity isn't represented (This is NOT me minimizing the struggles of the LGBT+ community, just making a statement that maybe we shouldn't hinge our identities and portrayals in media on such negative experiences). Gay stories don't have to be tragic or full of existential crisis as it pertains to our identity. And while maybe unrealistic, some good fluff is healthy to see alongside the angst. As we progress as a culture and we become more accepted, struggle hopefully becomes less and less a unifying aspect of queer identity and we'll be able to see that reflected in our media.

tl;dr

I think the movie has more going for it in terms of queer experience than people give it credit for, it's just not what's typically seen in visual media and is buried in there a bit deeper. Just because it's a "Hallmark movie" structurally and plays into tropes doesn't mean it's not gay.

#rwrb #rwrb movie #red white and royal blue #matthew lopez #robbie taylor hunt #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #long reads #ramblings

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qnewslgbtiqa · 3 months

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Bobby Berk spills tea on Queer Eye exit and co-star feud

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/bobby-berk-spills-tea-on-queer-eye-exit-and-co-star-feud/

Bobby Berk spills tea on Queer Eye exit and co-star feud

Departing Queer Eye star Bobby Berk has set the record straight on his departure from the long-running Netflix show.

Queer Eye has run on Netflix since 2018, starring Bobby alongside Antoni Porowski, Jonathan Van Ness, Karamo Brown and Tan France.

Season eight arrived on Netflix this week, with season nine also confirmed. But in November, Bobby Berk announced “with a heavy heart” that season eight would be his last.

Gossip started to fly about possible drama behind-the-scenes, and Bobby has explained what happened in a chat with Vanity Fair this week.

He explained that the Fab Five had only committed to seven seasons and starting making other plans when the contracts expired in 2022.

“The Fab Five and the crew, we all stood there, and we took pictures and cried,” Bobby said of that last day of filming.

“We thought we were done. Mentally and emotionally, I thought we all moved on. I know I did, and I started planning other things.”

But then, as strikes rocked the entertainment industry, Netflix got in touch about signing a new contract to make more of the show.

‘We had prepared ourselves to move on’

Bobby Berk explained he didn’t sign, and the other Fab Five members were considering not signing on for more either.

“We’d just assumed that the show wouldn’t come back if we all didn’t come back,” he told Vanity Fair.

“I was like, I’m not going to be having FOMO because the show is not going to happen. I had become at peace with it.”

He added, “All the plans that I had made when I thought we weren’t coming back, I just wasn’t willing to change those.

“I would have had to pump the brakes on multiple other projects that are already in process.

“We had mentally just prepared ourselves to move on — that’s why I left.”

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Bobby Berk confirms ‘situation’ with Tan France

Queer Eye fans reckoned Bobby’s exit had something to do with co-star Tan France, after noticing Bobby unfollowed him on Instagram.

Now Bobby has confirmed this and explained that he and Tan did have a “moment”.

“I want people to know that Tan and I – we will be fine,” Bobby said.

“Tan and I had a moment. There was a situation, and that’s between Tan and I and it has nothing to do with the show.

“It was something personal that had been brewing — and nothing romantic, just to clarify that.

“Should I have unfollowed Tan? No.

“Maybe I should have just muted him. But that day, I was angry, and that’s the end of it. We became like siblings, and siblings are always going to fight.”

Bobby and Tan spoke at the Emmys

Tan France didn’t weigh in when Vanity Fair asked him about all this. However, Bobby says the pair’s relationship is slowly on the mend after a run-in at the Emmys.

“We both embraced each other, and we both said congratulations. And that’s where we are right now,” he said.

“I will always have a very special place in my heart for him and Rob [France’s husband] and the kids.

“I can foresee in six months or a year, Tan and I at each other’s house being good. The Emmys was already the first bandage on that wound.”

Bobby Berk described Queer Eye as “the most amazing gift that I couldn’t have ever imagined.”

“I’m leaving something that is a huge part of my life. Even though it’s my decision, it still wasn’t an easy one,” he said.

Queer Eye is streaming on Netflix.