#why does everyone who leaves me get to be happier what did I fucking do wrong

[lexithwrites]

Idk how to get over this and I hate it why can I not get over this and I have no one to talk to and I don’t have friends they all cancel on me and no one messages me first and I fucking hate it here I want to go away I want to just disappear and never have to feel anything ever again please please please I can’t do this anymore

#it’s been months #it’s been 7 months I shouldn’t care anymore #but I’m miserable and they’re doing so much better #what did I do to deserve this #genuinly what did I do wrong #I’m sorry #no one is ever going to date me again look at me #I’m disgusting #I’m boring #I’m pathetic #why did you have to leave we were happy #why do you get to be happy and I don’t #why does everyone who leaves me get to be happier what did I fucking do wrong

[nomaishuttle]

btw controversial but fuckk ptsd dude yohre telling me judt bc my parents shouldnt ever have been parents now i have to be fucked up for the rest of my life .

#i know like..coping mechanisms and ris8ng above and learning to live with it but like its fucking stupid and unfair bc im never gonna stop #having ptsd yk. my episodes might get less frequent i might build happier memories but jm always gonna have these memory blocks and trigger #s and nightmares like. forever. im never gonna get to have had a normal childhood thats the most fuckedbup thing ever #like ik this is whiny but like. why. why me what did i do to deserve that childhood. not that any kid deserves abusive childhoods obviously #it sounds like im like ermmm there r wayyy worse kids who shouldve been the ones to go to the zoo 💀 but like ykwim. why does #thus have to happen to so many ppl i hate it i hate it. i wish i could just Actually forget everything instead of just like. not rly #remembering it but Knowing it..yk. i know everything that happened to me even if its all blocked out #and i still feel like. the effects of it even the stuff thats jncredibly hazy to me. and jm never not gojng to feel that. my personality hs #literally been fucking shaped by the childhood i have and like. yes you can 'change' your personality a bit and your choices blah blah blah #but like. even with that. im still always gonna be like. my first impulse will always be distrust and doubt and fear. even if i train #myself not to Act on those emotions i still will always feel them. im always going to expect people to leave even if they dont even if i #dont let myself push them away its something im always going to be terrified of in the back of my mind. im never gojng to have #proper social skills bc i fully missed out on that stage of development im never going to be like. at the same level as my peers bc i #missed out on those skills. sigh. ik ik ik feeljng inhuman and feeljng different from everybody else is a jniversal thing but i truly think #im like. im missing something that everybody else seems to have and i dont even know what it is but i know i dont have it and everyone #can tell j dont have it and it fucking. sucks . basically

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.4

It's in the paper that Allen Klein was involved in 40+ lawsuits and John doesn't question it? At this point, I feel like he just didn't want to let Paul be right about anything. 

My question is who did that work on before? I mean who fucking does business like that? Let alone business with the most successful man in the world. 

John's complaining about Paul being too good at his job is both hilarious (what the hell is Paul supposed to do with that) and sad (it shows just how far their musical relationship has degraded from partners to rivals)

How did they lose Northern Songs? Genuinely, if anyone can break it down for me I'd be so grateful. Anyway I'm sure it was devastating for both of them. “Who'd have the children?” “Dick James”. 

I know I'm insane, but can I be allowed to see a glimmer of goodness here? I really do think it's John's kinder side winning out when he decides not to lie. Like, yes, he gets a buzz off of watching Paul go white at his words, but I think he also just – in that moment – didn't have the heart to trick Paul into staying. 

But also. Why are we trying to maneuver Paul at all if the end game is for John to leave? It just doesn't make sense to try to trick Paul into signing the contract unless John's divorce threat is at the very least not meant to be final. 

I will never understand this picture. Even in the emotional state he's in, he's still hamming it up? There is something seriously wrong with this man. 

I do find it interesting that the fact that Paul cried his eyes out after that meeting isn't even mentioned in the doc. I wonder why. 

Let's put the bizarre, super-warped timeline in this quote aside for a minute. Apparently the depression started after Brian died and it lasted for about two years and John was still in it during Pepper. Okay. That aside . . .

I have to assume this negative lense on what I can only assume means the period between 66 and 68 is highly influenced by hindsight bias. I agree that John was depressed at the time, in an unhappy marriage, doing too much LSD, etc and that looking at Paul's prolific talent and expansive , fast-paced life would have been maddening. But everyone go back to the end of part one really quick. He looks extremely happy. He sounds extremely happy. Everyone who knows him says he's never been happier. I think he just can't accept right now that there was so much good and he's lost it. 

“I look from the wings at the play you are staging . . . I don't know why nobody told you how to unfold your love.”

Insanity quote Hall of Fame. Paul explaining why the Beatles just had to break up, obviously, because he and John "didn't marry the same girl." Someone write the fic where John and Paul both marry the same girl. Could be Yoko or Linda. Sister trad wives au. 

Okay, cool, so this means I have full permission to interpret and tin hat about any lyrics I want then, right?

But also. Are we just not going to talk about the fact that Paul dumped a bucket of garbage water and punched this person? And are we not mentioning the depression and alcoholism and heroin abuse during this time?

It's so embarrassing how he looks to her for confirmation here. John, they asked you what you think. Just you. Not some complicated definition. Not Yoko's definition. Just your own thoughts.

“I couldn't wait for them to make up their mind about peace or whatever. About committing themselves.” Yeah, John. You sound real committed to peace. Or whatever. Here's a theory that anyone can shoot down if they want: John asked Paul for some kind of commitment (a friendship wedding, a partnership contract, a mutual wanking pledge) in India and Paul was a chicken about it. 

What was that day like, I wonder? I imagine extremely stiff and professional and horrid. But who knows. Maybe it was nice, and maybe that made everything worse.

I will go to my death believing that instant karma was for Paul. 

Do we think John actually did send Paul “about twenty postcards from Denmark” all covered in hearts none of which Paul responded to? Paul could be just as cruel in his lack of reaction as John was in his over reaction.

I'm sorry but that is not what a man says when he's just lying to the press to buy time for business. That's what a man says to the press when he's trying desperately to communicate with someone who he can't get through to any other way. 

But really, I just don't understand why the creator chose to minimize Paul's emotional response to John's divorce statement. If we don't see him bawling his eyes out and losing the will to live, he comes off like a self-assured, uncaring, jerk. Which. To be fair. John didn't see those things, and that is exactly what John thought of Paul during this time. But still. The audience now comes away from this doc with a skewed view. 

All we get is Paul being pissed off about Phil Spector butchering Let it Be without his consent and John and George trying to change McCartney's release date without his consent. Which are both a) understandable and b) strong, male, angry reactions. Making this section portray Paul in the same one-dimensional hyper-masculine way that John so often is. Which isn't my favorite. But hey, it's my only complaint about this doc so far.

Anyway, update: I won't be able to do part three until it gets reuploaded, so we're on hiatus for this project for the time being.

#paul mccartney #the beatles #john lennon #mclennon #ringo starr #george harrison #understanding lennon mccartney #ulm

[ilenissu]

This is short and shitty but women's day transfem!Stevie x cis!Eddie for your souls

It started off simple with cropped shirts and lip gloss. Eddie didn't think much of it at first, just complimenting his boyfriend's outfit and 'pretty raspberry pink lips' and basking in the light radiating from Steve as he did so.

When Steve started growing his hair out, Eddie cheered happily. They could finally braid each other's hair, although Eddie wasn't as good at it as Steve was. He finally had a model (and an excuse) to learn.

Then, one day, when the kids started fighting over who gets to call shotgun, Eddie shushed everyone bluntly and opened the door for Steve instead. "This carriage is meant for a princess". The look of pure bewilderment on the kids' faces were nothing compared to the blush on Steve's cheeks.

Steve went shopping with Nancy and Robin at least once a week - unless there was a special occasion, then even more often. His makeup developed into much more complicated eyeliner+shadow combinations. He got his ears pierced and picked out little silver flowers as his healing rings. Also, there were the sparkly (and quite long, almond shaped) nails.

Then he heard it. Robin talking to Nancy as he walked into Family Video to deliver his two favourite people their lunch.

"Stevie's not coming. She's got a date night with Munson... I don't know, but I don't think she told him. I've been trying to tell her he won't mind or be a dick about it, but she INSISTS the guy will leave her cause she's not 'a guy' anymore. I know, total bullshit."

Eddie stoos there, frozen. Leaving the lunch on the counter, he ran out of the store before anyone even noticed his entrance.

March 8th. With a huge bouquet of pink and red roses, a box of cherry-filled chocolates and a bottle of champagne in a white, festive basket, he knocked on the Harringtons' door.

Nancy opened. Well, that wasn't the lady he was expecting, but he had to make do.

"Eddie. No offence, but we're having a closed group meeting."

Eddie blinked, but soon shook his head quickly. "I respect that. I just wanted to give my... the owner of this house... a gift." He cleared his throat.

Nancy raised her eyebrow. "You want Harrington to have this? Sure. I'll hand it over. Anything else?"

Well. That was rude. He took another deep breath. "Dude. I know you guys are busy but I just want to wish her happy women's day and I'll be on my way. Here," he pulled a single rose out of the bouquet and handed it to Nancy.

She snorted. "Trying to bribe me?"

"It's a token of friendship. And feminism."

"What's taking so long, Nance, did the pizza guy kidnap you or something?!" Robin's voice was heard from inside the house along with some shuffling and grumbling. Soon enough, the love of Eddie's life stood in the hallway, staring at him in shock.

"Hey, baby," Eddie offered a small wave along with a soft smile that made Nancy completely abort her mission of blocking the doorway and disappear into the living room.

"What are you- I didn't know you were coming over- What's-" Stevie's brows furrowed, the makeup making the whole thing even cuter if that was even possible. "What's that?"

Eddie raised the basket a bit. "It's for you."

Another frown. "Why?"

"March 8th. Every fair woman deserves a bunch of flowers almost as pretty as her, hm?"

The look of pure panic made Eddie backtrack. Oh, he fucked up. Stevie wasn't ready, Robin had been joking, he misread EVERYTHING.

Just as he was spiralling, Stevie ducked her head and soon threw herself at Eddie, wrapping both arms around his neck and clinging onto him as she sobbed into his shoulder.

"Hey, hey, come on- It's that bad?" Eddie offered quietly, wrapping his free arm around his partner's trembling body.

"You- You don't mind?"

"Jesus, baby, I loved the living shit out of Steve, and if you'll let me I'll love the living shit out of a much happier Stevie. So if that's okay, if you still want this, I'd love you to be my girlfriend. How does that sound?"

"But you're-"

"Stevie. You're doing the thing. Self-sabotage? I don't care about labels, when I have the love of my life in my arms. And if she happens to be a girl, then a girl I shall be attracted to."

#steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #steve x eddie #st4 #steveddie #eddie x steve #transfem steve harrington

[delicateflowerss]

Don't Worry, Darling: One

After marrying the love of your life, Rafe Cameron, you thought you couldn't be happier. But when a murder shakes the island, you learn you don't know your husband as well as you thought. When does Paradise become Hell?

Warnings: 18+, eventual NON-CON, dark!Rafe, implied violence, blood, drug use, mentions of pregnancy, kook!reader, non-canon ages

This is on the short side, and more of an introduction to my new series. Next chapter will have more action, enjoy!

Series Masterlist

“How did you manage to not get knocked up?” Caroline asks through an amused smile. “I thought that would be the first thing Rafe would do on your honeymoon. Especially in a place like The Bahamas,” she adds.

Laughter follows from everyone including you.

“Maybe he did. She just doesn’t know it yet,” Audrey chimes in.

The same level of laughter erupts, but your smile falters a little.

“Rafe and I are waiting,” you explain.

“Why? You two seem so happy. And look at this place,” Caroline motions to the backyard of the house you share with Rafe, complete with a blue, sparkling pool and freshly mowed grass. “You’ve got it made.”

You shake your head, a smile still on your face. “I just got a new client, and I’m doing really well right now. There’s no need for us to rush.”

“Don’t you just work from home? You can have a baby and be a book editor,” Cassie points out, taking a sip of her Mai Tai.

“When you all have babies, then you can criticize me. But until then, I don’t want to hear it.” You try to keep your tone lighthearted. But there’s an edge to your voice, their words starting to bother you.

“We’re just playing around.” Caroline looks around, earning nods from your other friends. She smiles at you and sighs, “I’m excited for you. I mean, who knew someone could tame Rafe Cameron?”

“He’s come a long way. I think,” you pause thinking about the man you’ve married. “He really is the perfect husband.” Your eyes twinkle, a content smile tracing your lips.

“You know, I was a little worried when I heard you were getting married,” Kelce begins, picking up the glass he was pouring brown liquid into. “I thought there goes the Rafe Cameron I’ve always known, always doing whatever the fuck he wants, now having to answer to his wife.”

He walks over to Rafe, slapping him on the shoulder. “But I see I was wrong,” Kelce laughs.

“Nothing’s changing here,” Rafe says before bending down to snort the white lines off his desk through a rolled up hundred-dollar bill.

“So, Y/N’s okay with all this?” Topper asks, watching Rafe wipe the residue off his nose.

“I wouldn’t say that.” He breaks out into a grin. “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

Topper just nods, his lips tight together.

Rafe’s face falls at the look Topper gives him. “It’s only for special occasions. Alright, Top? You don’t have to get all…”

“Hey, I didn’t say anything,” he interrupts. “This is just new to me.”

“What is?”

“You and responsibility.”

Rafe scoffs, looking away from him.

Before anything else is said, Kelce intervenes, “I was talking to Chase yesterday. Said he thinks he’s getting that promotion.”

“He always thinks that,” Rafe mutters.

“Well… He said he knows for sure this time. I guess Ward must have told him.”

At that, Rafe turns to look at Kelce, furrowing his brow.

“Are you sure?” He asks.

Kelce shrugs, “that’s what he said.”

He moves his glare to the floor, lips parting. “Huh.” A million different emotions pass through his eyes as he thinks for a moment. “So, Chase is getting promoted before I do?”

There’s a heaviness in his voice, like he’s finally admitting it to himself. Any fun carelessness in the room has disappeared, leaving a thick tension that’s anything but.

Kelce opens his mouth, but closes it right away, not knowing what to say.

“I’m sure your promotion is coming, Rafe. I mean, your dad owns the company,” Topper assures.

The smile on his face is wiped away when Rafe points his glare to him.

“Yeah. And your grandfather helped you get that job at that law firm,” Rafe fires back.

“I didn’t mean it like that. If you’re so upset, just talk to Ward.”

Rafe chuckles, a lack of humor evident. He taps his finger against the wood of his desk.

“No, you’re right. I’ll just talk to him.”

The hot, sticky air wraps around you as you fix the hat on your head, helping to block out the sun. You finish setting the soil around your freshly planted roses, the diamond on your ring glistening in the bright sunshine. You wish you could’ve finished gardening before the housewarming party last night, but better late than never.

A car door slamming behind you, startles you, forcing you to look at the street. You quickly stand up at the somewhat familiar face, brushing the dirt off your dress.

He doesn’t notice you until he’s gotten his equipment from his truck. You give him a slight wave, and you don’t miss the surprise that washes over his face.

“Oh. Didn’t realize this was your house.”

As much as JJ tries to hide it, his apprehension is apparent.

“We just moved in.” Your tone is so much brighter than his.

“Right.” He nervously looks around, like he’s searching for someone. He sighs, “I guess I should’ve read the names on my client list a little more carefully, Mrs. Cameron.”

Your lips part in realization. “Oh, Rafe’s not here. If that’s what you’re worried about.”

His silence confirms your suspicions.

“And he’s pretty much over all that stupid Kook vs. Pogue stuff.”

“Is he?” Doubt laces his voice.

You never understood why Rafe was so set on terrorizing his sister and her friends. But thankfully, he’s grown out of it.

“I think he can handle you being here once a week,” you assure.

“I don’t know about that.” JJ scratches the back of his head.

“He doesn’t even have to know.” That catches JJ’s attention, his gaze settled on you. “You’ll only be here while he’s at work. All he knows is he’s paying the pool company. I’d hate to see you lose out on a job because of Rafe,” you finish with a reassuring smile.

Maybe this is your way of righting all of Rafe’s wrongs.

He sighs, a smile finally forming on his lips.

“Fine. But only cause you’re so convincing.”

You stare at the food you dedicated your evening to, getting cold on their plates. Your lips are outlined in a pout, thinking about how Rafe is never home this late.

Your mind has already conjured up every worst-case scenario. But the most realistic scenario, is the one that hurts your heart the most. You worry that Rafe simply got distracted, and he forgot to tell you he’ll be home late.

You don’t want to be forgotten.

You try not to think about it. He really has changed so much, turned into the man you’ve always known he could be.

That’s why you married him.

So, you don’t want to think about how it could have all been for nothing.

Before you can go farther down your pit of despair, a ding from your phone pulls you back.

You breathe a sigh of relief at his text. He just needs to stay late and work. You know he’s been wanting that promotion, which goes further than wanting more money.

You text him back, making sure to put his dinner in the fridge.

The only sound that echoes through the dark house are Rafe’s footsteps. His movements are slow as he goes up the stairs, hoping to God that you’re sound asleep.

But once he gets past you in bed, sleeping peacefully, he locks himself in the bathroom. He stands there for a minute, unsure of what to do. Adrenaline still rushes through his veins, his breathing erratic.

His blue eyes find the mirror in front of him, taking in his disheveled state. The evidence of what he’s done is still on him and it hits him like a slap in the face.

After that, he’s frantic, peeling off his clothes as fast as he can.

Rafe steps into the shower, lathering soap over his skin, washing his hair, and scrubbing under his nails. The red tinted water goes down the drain.

Once he gets out, a towel around his hips, he picks up his clothes from the floor, inspecting them for any evidence.

His eyes widen at the stains, heading downstairs to throw them in the washer. He doesn’t worry about his shoes, only finding mud on them.

The clock reads 3:47 when he finally gets in bed next to you. You don’t stir as he settles in. Serenity paints your features as his are creased with uncertainty. But that slowly vanishes the longer he looks at your face. He softly presses his lips to your head before shutting his eyes.

Tags:

@fangirlwithlou @thebuttofcaptainamerica

Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist for this series!

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #obx #outer banks #dark!rafe cameron #dark!rafe cameron x reader

[yanderecrazysie]

Curiosity (Yandere Tsukishima)

This was a Quotev request!

Title: Curiosity

Pairings: Tsukishima Kei x Reader

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, swearing, suggestive themes, non-consensual touching, seriously creepy vibes from Tsukishima

Summary: Tsukishima seems like a normal guy, except that he’s always writing in that journal of his. When you decide to see what he’s up to, you learn that he’s anything but normal.

curiosity

/noun/

a strong desire to know or learn something:

 DAY 1

It’s the first day of school again. (Y/n) looked beautiful as ever today, I missed seeing her in her school uniform. Of course, I’ve been following her around town over the summer, but I missed seeing her in a skirt. This is the last year I see that until I make a move, as I doubt she’ll wear skirts to university.

I’ll do my best to draw what she looks like, since this is a special occasion, but there’s no way my art can do her justice.

Tsukishima Kei was a quiet guy, which, you supposed, was common for smart kids. You hadn’t known him well throughout high school and you doubted you’d have much time to get to know him, since the end of your third and final year was nearly upon you both.

One interesting thing you always noticed is that he was always writing in a journal of sorts, sometimes sketching away in it instead of writing.

You always wondered what it said.

DAY 17

(Y/n) smiled and waved at me today. She does that to everyone, I know, but I couldn’t breathe when she turned her divine attention on me! I felt like, even for a second, I had her undivided attention! I’d do anything, ANYTHING to get that on me again. I’d fucking kill everyone she knows if that means she’ll look at me and only me.

Tsukishima always gave you the distinct vibe that he wanted a friend, especially after his only friend moved away last year, but that he didn’t know how to approach anyone. You sensed a sort of longing when he looked at you and you wondered if your friendliness appealed to his loneliness. Perhaps he was awkward or shy?

You felt bad that you hadn’t had time to talk to him, but life really was just too busy. You always tried to be friendly when you passed him in the halls or made eye contact. 

It was the least you could do.

DAY 33

I love (Y/n) so much that I was willing to dig around in her trash can to find that lip gloss she’d thrown away. How many guys would do THAT for their girlfriends? She only wore it a few times since she didn’t like it very much, but that just meant I had so much of something her precious lips had touched.

I felt like I was in heaven putting it on- like I was kissing her! I had dreams about doing just that and I woke up feeling happier and more refreshed than I had been all year. I need more.

You’d always felt like someone was following you and like your things were disappearing, but you wrote those feelings off as paranoia. Maybe you should take those things seriously, but who had time for that? You were on the student council, an honor student, and preparing for college.

Why didn’t you see the red flags?

Were you really so colorblind?

DAY 52

I went to her house and climbed in through the window. Thank goodness she’s on the first floor.

I went straight to her bed and just laid on it and inhaled her scent from the pillows and blankets. She’s on vacation and I miss her so much, so I really couldn’t help doing all this. It’s her fault for leaving me.

I wonder if she wants our room to look like this or if she has a better one in mind. I’m not a fan of the color but, if she likes it, who am I to disagree? I just want her to be healthy and happy with me. I’ll make her.

You were a naturally curious person. That’s probably why you did so well in school- you had a thirst for knowing why and how that many people your age didn’t care for. You never just wanted to accept things without an explanation. Better to be informed.

Sometimes you were called nosy or told to mind your own business, but you couldn’t help it. You also had a bad habit of eavesdropping and “investigating” on your own. You’d do great in a Nancy Drew book, but it annoyed real-life people.

It’s really no surprise that, when you went to grab Tsukishima’s left-behind notebook, you couldn’t stop yourself from peeking inside and reading some of the entries and looking at the drawings.

DAY 82

I peeked through her window at just the right time and caught her getting undressed for a shower! I think I’ve died and gone to heaven. Words can’t describe the experience, so I’ll draw what she looked like instead:

You felt sick. For once, you wished, desperately, that your curiosity was nonexistent. If you could take back everything you’d seen in the last few minutes, you would.

You’d just go off to university, blissfully unaware, and never see that freak ever again. How could he write and draw such things? How could he violate your privacy like that? How dare he-

“You read it, didn’t you?”

The empty classroom went so silent you could hear a pin drop. Your horror felt like metal weighing down your stomach and throat. You couldn’t swallow, you couldn’t breathe.

Tsukishima was right behind you, inching closer each moment, but you couldn’t hope to turn around or run away. You were petrified, rooted in place like you were a statue. A statue with wide eyes and terror etched into your features.

You wanted to claim you hadn’t but the journal was still open in your hands, opened up to a disgusting drawing of yourself and your eyes couldn’t tear themselves away from it. Even if you wanted to futilely make up an excuse, your mouth wouldn’t form the words. You couldn’t so much as squeak.

As he stands directly behind you, his hands caress your waist, finger pads sinking deep into the flesh through your shirt. You shudder in disgust, but that’s the most movement your body can even make.

Even as his fingers dance at the hem of your shirt, daringly searching upwards against bare skin, you can’t move or make a sound. You wished you were a fight or flee kind of person and not a freeze.

You feel his lips brush against your earlobe and you violently shudder as he speaks into your ear a few chilling words.

“Don’t you know what curiosity did to the cat?”

#yandere #yandere haikyuu #haikyuu!! #yandere one shot #one shot #yandere x reader #yandere tsukishima #tsukishima kei

[themultifandomgal]

From 2010- Rumours Turn Into A Break Up

2011

Part 11

Band members

YN YLN and Harry styles dating?

12/05/2011 4;05

Band members Harry Styles (17) and YN YLN (17) were seen cosying up together on the recent episode of Alan Carr Chatty Man.

The band One Direction came 3rd in X-Factor last year and while it looks like everyone in the band have become close friends, two in particular seem to be getting on very well. Dating rumours have only gotten stronger when the pair were seen together out in London laughing. YN was seen linking her arm into Harry’s while walking down the street.

We wonder how YN’s high school and long term boyfriend James Madison is feeling with all of these possible dating rumours.

I close down the tab on my laptop with a sigh and look up at Simon who looks pissed

“Harry and I are just friends” I say in defence

“I know that, but if girls think Harry is in a relationship then we will lose many fans. Clear this up” Simon points at me and leaves the room

“How am I supposed to clear up dating rumours? If I say that Harry and I are just friends then I will be called a liar” I throw myself back onto the sofa next to Zayn

“Just send out a tweet to appease the big man. Then ignore anything else that’s said” Louis says putting an arm around my shoulders

“I guess that’s all I can do” I say getting out my phone from my back pocket and putting out a tweet, but almost immediately I see hate coming through.

“Hey” I answer the phone to Emma sadly

“Hey YN. How are you doing?”

“Not great to be honest”

“I’m about to tell you something that’s not going to make you any happier. Sorry”

“What’s up?” I ask frowning even though Emma can’t see me

“You remember that party James went to while your were in LA?”

“Yeah”

“Well Alex told me that Mia sent him a photo of James kissing someone” I can feel my heart drop almost immediately “YN it was with a guy. I think James is gay, or curious or… I’m not really sure, but Alex sent me the photo. I can send it you, but I’m not sure you want to see that”

“No no. I trust you. Thank you for telling me. I’ll have a word with him” I glance at the bedroom door where James is

“Ok. Do you want me to come over?”

“Maybe. I’ll ring you later” I end the call and make my way to the bedroom. I stand in the door way with my arms crossed watching James on his phone

“Are you coming in or you just going to stare at me?”

“I’m just trying to decided whether I’m going to yell or cry or maybe both”

“Why?” James frowns putting his phone down

“Who were you texting?”

“Does it matter”

“Yes it fucking does matter!” I shout “who were you texting?”

“A friend”

“Girl or boy?”

“Why does that matter?” James stands up from the bed

“Because I wanna know if your cheating on me”

“Boy! Ok I’m not cheating. I’m texting a friend”

“What about the party you went to while I was in LA? Emma said you were drunk. Who did you hang around with?”

“A friend. God YN I can have friends”

“So do you kiss all your friends or just your best friends?”

“What?” James looks shocked

“I’m talking about you kissing someone! You cheated on me! How could you?” My eyes start to tear up. James looks defeated and sits down on the bed

“YN…”

“I guess I’m not your type” I laugh sadly “why did you move with me if you were just going to cheat?” James looks up at me

“I… I made a friend over here”

“A friend? Or a boyfriend? God James if you were gay why couldn’t you have just told me? We could have split up on good terms, you could have still moved in with me, but instead you cheat?”

“You were busy and I thought you’d not notice since you and Harry…”

“Are friends!”

“Don’t give me that crap. I see the way you look at him”

“Like what?” I throw my hands in the air

“You like him”

“He’s a friend, and actually a friend unlike your version where you kiss and probably do more. You know what I’m done with this conversation. We’re done” I turn and leave our apartment and head over to Harry and Louis’ place.

"Boys suck" I say walking into their place huffing as I sit in between Harry and Louis. The other boys are here also

"Gee thanks" Zayn jokes laughing, but once he sees my face he stops

"What's happened?" Harry asks frowning

“I just found out that my boyfriend would rather kiss his friends than me. His male friends by the way”

“He’s gay?”

“I think so. Maybe? I don’t care if he is, I care that cheated on me”

"Are you ok?" Liam asks and I give him a shrug

"I don't know how to feel to be honest. I think l'm pissed off more than anything”

"What a dick" Niall sighs

"I'm sorry YN" Zayn gives me a small smile

"It's ok, but thanks"

"Let's go get ice cream, watch as manny chick flicks as ya like and I'll even let ya paint me nails" Harry says standing up "tha's what girls do innit?"

“What?” I chuckle looking at Harry

"Well if Emma can't be here to cheer you up, then we will become your girlfriends for the night" I give the boys a smile feeling so happy that I have not only the best bandmates, but also best friends.

#harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x oc #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic rec #6th one direction member #sixth one direction member #one direction x reader #one direction

[minjiarchive]

our lustful vacation | yoohyeon x fem!reader

thank u everyone for their suggestions! this is the fic inspired by that one yoohyeon photo i posted. i also decided to use capitals in this writing since its a longer piece lol 😭

warning / smut

“How does that feel?”

"It feels nice actually... thank you.” You straddled her waist while she laid on her stomach, massaging her tense muscles in hope to release some of that tension she has. Yoohyeon couldn't be happier. She's finally had time to spend more time with you – in fact, she was the one who planned this whole vacation out.

Jeju Island.

But she planned it with just you of course. Her members simply understood why she only booked two tickets and actually teased you both a lot about it since you two were going alone. But, with a break from cameras in her face 24/7 and a packed schedule. She was ready to spend this week with the love of her life without any of that.

Yoohyeon was so excited that she couldn't help but buy a couple of new dresses and clothes to wear for you. The outfit she wore tonight was plain white, with a lace tank top (almost suitable for lingerie), and stunning shorts that looked like a skirt in a way.

When you saw her in that for the first time, she could already tell you were trying your best not to touch her right then and there. With the revealing slit of one of her legs, you definitely couldn't deny that your actions were close to speaking for you. You held back though and instead, suggested giving her a massage instead to clear your mind about your loud thoughts of her, but it only made it worse.

One of the straps of her top fell past her shoulders, leaving the other strap so tempting to just slip the whole top off at this point. Each satisfied moan she let out every time you rubbed down on the right spot drove you crazy.

Not only does she tease you in such a gorgeous outfit that she'd know you would go feral over but she moans your name in such a way that it was more than satisfied. “Oh fuck, Y/N, right there...”

You couldn't take it anymore. You kneaded her back one more time before stopping to rest your hands at your sides, you were being cautious now. Swearing to yourself that if you did anything more with your hands, you'd lose all your control by then.

“Was that it baby? God, do your hands feel good on me.”

“Lay on your back, Yoohyeon.” You instructed, getting up from your original position to stand while she listens and flips herself over to lay down on the bed again. You came back up to straddle her once more but this time, you purposely grind yourself down on her, feigning any innocence you had left in you.

Her top was more revealing than before. Both of her straps were down now, it was like she was calling to you to undress her. She was really starting to mess with you now.

Even her eyes undressed you with her sharp gaze. Don't think too much about it, just ignore it.

Right... you determined to just go with whatever your head was telling you. With shaky hands, you caressed her sides just to have her relax underneath you.

“Where on your body do you feel tense or tight the most?”

She smirked a little at your question, you knew what she was thinking of but you didn't entertain it. You were already going through an intense "Yoohyeon curse" after all. Without speaking, she took your hand and guided it down to her center.

“...Here,” You could feel how hot she was through the thin material of her shorts. Needing to feel just how wet she was, you ran a single finger lightly along her slit causing her to whine and squirm. Her panties were practically ruined by how turned on she got by you.

Yoohyeon tugged at your shirt now, noticing your bruised lips from probably biting them so hard earlier. You wasted no time smashing your lips together. When such a breathtaking girl was showing how much she wanted you, your core throbbed in desperation to be touched.

“You're so bad,” Barely managing to let out in between the kiss. It was like the walls were closing in on you both, her breathing was far from being stable and so was yours.

She'd occasionally break the kiss to remove a piece of clothing off you while you already were working on stripping her. You finally removed everything but her panties which was on purpose. You pressed your palm to her center, applying little pressure to tease her.

When you finally decided it was enough, you hooked your fingers under the waistband and pulled it down to reveal her dripping cunt.

“You're beautiful, Yoohyeon.” She loved it when you worshiped her. Your hands would roam around her body, giving every part all your attention.

You placed a few soft kisses around her pussy, nearing her clit at times but never committing to going there just yet. She felt like this punishment would last for hours of constant edging until you easily dipped two fingers in her.

A loud moan ripped through her throat at your entrance. Your fingers rubbed her G-spot in circular motions, some occasional strokes here and there. Her pleasure didn't stop there though, you used the pad of your thumb to rub her clit as well, sending Yoohyeon on a ride of emotions.

“More, please... Y/N.” She begged, her eyes struggling to keep open as they fluttered shut from all the overwhelming stimulation. Yoohyeon was so tight and wet, even you yourself had to find some type of relief. You started grinding your bare pussy down on her thigh, it was pure bliss and lust.

“Shhh, I will darling. I'll make sure you feel good.” You whispered to her before brushing your lips across her jaw, followed by her neck. You sucked on her soft skin that was waiting to be marked up by you. She whimpered in response, maybe as a way of saying thank you since she couldn't put it in words without a moan interrupting her.

Her hands knotted in your hair, leading your head towards her breasts. Yoohyeon urged you to play with them and so you did. You obeyed everything she wanted you to do. Although you could be a tease when you felt like it, that didn't mean you wouldn't submit to anything she asked.

Your tongue came into contact with her nipple at first. You started toying with it, using the patterns that never failed to double her pleasure. Your free hand though played with her other nipple, gliding your thumb over it.

“Fuck Y/N, I'm-” Yoohyeon cried out loudly as you angled your fingers differently. Her breathing was far from being stable and you were both slowly letting yourselves go as time went on.

“I'm getting so close.”

“Keep going for me love. You're doing great.” Her eyebrows furrowed and her walls clenched around you. Yoohyeon's expression prompted you to quicken your pace. Her hips rolled and raised off the bed, causing your fingers to be buried even deeper in her.

The waves crashed onto the shore the same way your bodies collided together in unison.

“Baby I'm gonna...” She warned as she tried to keep herself together to last a few more seconds. As your fingers hit her sweet spot once more, her hips bucked into air, pushing you into her with force.

“Cum for me, my sweet girl.” Within a few moments, her body jerked and shuddered against you.

You took her to Heaven and back all in one night.

Her moans slowly started to quiet down along with her heaving chest that became steady again. You also slowed down your movements as she rode out her high on your, now, coated fingers still.

“By the way honey, I loved that outfit on you. Wear it again and maybe you'll get what you want.”

#dreamcatcher scenarios #dreamcatcher imagines #dreamcatcher x reader #dreamcatcher #dreamcatcher smut #yoohyeon imagines #yoohyeon scenarios #yoohyeon x reader #yoohyeon smut #kim yoohyeon #wlw #wlw smut

[starglow-xx]

𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘱𝘪𝘵𝘺 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

(𝘯.) 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘵

the nakajima atsushi collection of “the love of an older brother” series

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ synopsis: he’s had a terrible childhood, and is in no condition to take care of himself much less a newborn, but he’ll do everything it takes to make sure you’ll have the childhood he’s never had

having a baby sister pt. 2 !!

(platonic!) older brother! nakajima atsushi x baby sister! reader

characters: fukuzawa yukichi, edogawa ranpo, yosano akiko, kunikida doppo & dazai osamu | type of work: head canons | pt. 1 | pt. 2 |

a/n : oops i have no excuses

parental guardians time ✧˖*°࿐

atsushi was absolutely done with these people

why the heck did they think that bringing him (who’s obviously the guardian of a month old little girl) to a bombing hostage situation was a good idea

honestly

can’t a guy get a break?

we don’t talk abt it but he started to cry too

but then the bomb didn’t go off?? (ಠ_ಠ)

but then the bomb didn’t go off?? (ಠ_ಠ)

so he was just there on the ground in an awkward position going “h u h” in his head

note that he was still crying and so were you, but not as loud as a few moments ago

when he realized that the bomb wasn’t going to go off, he practically leaped off the bomb and snatched you from dazai’s arms shushing you shakily, trying to calm you and himself down

after you had done so, you cozied back up into your blanket like nothing ever happened

oh the life of a month old baby, how relaxing you must have it

it took a good minute or two to understand what the fuck was happening

the job that dazai-san recommended = job at armed detective agency

the test involved = the ada’s entrance exam

he passed the exam = job at armed detective agency

yeah no he felt like he was gonna pass out (ಠ_ಠ)

fast forwarding to happier times, let’s say that life at the agency was...eventful to say the very least, but luckily there are some very…competent adults to help atsushi out

fukuzawa yukichi ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

#1 cat grandpa

pls you’re now added onto his list of weaknesses

everyone knows it

ranpo’s not a happy camper

...

but he likes you too so you get a free pass ig

one of the best at getting you to settle down only second to atsushi

he’s very calm on the outside, but on the inside at times he’s freakin out a little bit

bc yes he has his crazy stupid lunatic children but a kid this young?

this smol?

yeah no it’s first time too give him a break

so yeah a little awkward at times but he means well and he’s getting the hang of it

atsushi trust scale a solid 12/10

definitely trustworthy to leave you in his care

bonus points bc he knows he won’t get a migraine

edogawa ranpo ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

...

questionable but he’s ranpo-san so he’s reliable to a degree

in life and death situations and supposed to be impossible cases that need solving? 

oh yeah def trusts

but ranpo-san with a...baby?

hm

atsushi is skeptical

but like i said, he likes you so the reliableness factor increases

but actually unbeknownst to atsushi and some other agency members, he does knows the dos and don’ts of what to do when taking care of a baby

he just likes the reactions he gets when doing something he isn’t supposed to

“ah (y/n)! my soon to be protege! lemme take you on a murder case with me!”

“RANPO-SAN SHE’S A BABY???”

“WAIT GET BACK HERE WITH HER STROLLER—”

and actually his favorite victim isn’t your older brother but kunikida

freaking him out is one of the highlights of his day tbh

now he really understands the kick dazai gets whenever he does it

one time he tried to give you a lollipop but kunikida who wasn’t even in the room burst out of the president’s office and started screaming abt danger and choking hazards

atsushi trust scale 7/10

not bad with all the obvious/technical stuff but he gives him heart attacks on purpose so yeah

bonus!

kunikida trust scale 2/10

bad but can’t be worse than dazai

yosano akiko ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

she scares atsushi but said scary lady is the closest thing to a maternal figure you’re gonna get

for atsushi, yosano has more of a scary big sister vibe but since you’re nearly two decades younger than him, he’s sure that when you get older you’ll probably see her like a mother

if you’re not with atsushi then you’re in her office

usually napping tbh

bc yk, you’re a baby so there isn’t much you can do at the moment

she talks to you while working and just doing other mundane tasks in her office

one time atsushi and tanizaki overheard and all tanizaki could do was pat atsushi on the back in sympathy

“...and this is a scalpel! it comes in handy for a lot of these operations, though i prefer other things like chainsaws and the like”

*cue giggles*

*cue atsushi fainting*

you don’t really have much hair yet but she’s been eyeing some cute butterfly clips to match the one in her hair for when you can wear them

atsushi trust scale 8/10

also pretty good at taking care of you but loses points trying to teach you about chainsaws

kunikida doppo ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

...

hmm

where to start

he’s competent but he’s awkward

will give yosano-sensei a run for her money as your maternal figure bc boy is the mother henning bad

“DAZAI! don’t you get another step closer!”

“but kunikida-kun! i need to get my headphones!”

“i can’t have you infecting her with your...you!”

“kunikida-kun she’s in atsushi-kun’s arms like 10 feet away!”

“and you’re about to be 10 feet too close!”

but like i said

he’s awkward

“here kunikida-kun! hold (n/n)-chan for a minute would you? yay! bye!”

“wAIT DAZAI YOU—...”

“...hm? what’s wrong kunikida-kun? you look awfully stiff there.”

“...”

“...kunikida-kun?~ gasp! are you...nervous? (¬‿¬ )“

“dazai if i could yell at you right now i would but for the sake of everything holy and otherwise, i can’t believe im saying this but get the baby out of my arms and take her right. now.”

BUT

he’s only awkward if it’s a surprise like the scenario i played out right now

usually though, he’s pretty composed

unless you’re crying

but that’s a different scenario that’ll we’ll get into next time

dreads when ranpo is in the vicinity bc AGH

yeah that’s the best i can describe it

knows he causes chaos on purpose but he can’t ignore it bc what if he’s being serious

atsushi trust scale 9/10

very good but can afford to be a little more relaxed

babies can smell fear

dazai osamu ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

i started laughing when i typed his name if that means anything

besides your brother, he’s your favorite and it absolutely kills kunikida

he cannot for the life of him comprehend how that happened

sobs about it every now and then

“how could we have let this happen?!?”

“ne ne kunikida-kun!~ sounds like you’re just jealoUSACK—”

has “staring contests” with you

by staring contests i mean he just stares at you in your car seat carrier thingy while you shake a rattle

he’s curious okay!

all babies do is eat, poop, cry, play, sleep repeat AND other people pamper you and cater you to your whim

basically his dream life!

also uses you to torture kunikida bc as i said

he’s your favorite (¬‿¬ )

“DAZAI GIVE ME BACK MY WALLET”

“ah ah ah kunikida-kun! you can’t get me if i’m holding (n/n)-chan! what if she gets hurt due to your violent tendencies?! GASP you’re gonna risk that?!”

but like there are times where he’s had enough of you, bc there are times he wants “me time” yk?

BECAUSE

just recently you’ve started crying when you get passed to someone who isn’t him or atsushi

“okay (n/n)-chan! time to go kunikida-kun so your favorite—”

“don’t push it dazai!”

“—can rest his arms!”

this is when he’d pass you on to the blonde and he and said blonde would walk away literally three steps in the opposite direction before freezing

because you’d start blubbering and fussing and without exchanging words kunikida would pass you back to dazai where you a) start to giggle b) settle down and go back to being quiet or c) fall back asleep

tbh tho, he’s kinda impressed

not even he can trigger that face of despair from kunikida

but he fears the day (if it ever comes) when you start crying when you’re given back to atsushi

atsushi trust scale a solid…

5/10

yeah it can go either way

bonus!

kunikida trust scale -2/10

has his reasons but also very petty

realistically, probably around 1-3 depending on the day

pt. 3 w/ the “kids” of the agency next time ⸜( ˙˘˙)⸝

and as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize, repost, or translate on here or any other sites!

tag list : @alfangel13 @linthebinbag @glitch-magic @soba-mija @classisass @moomoo-mochi @missrown @ghosts-and-animals @reginahillary @themonsterinyourcloset @shy-socially-awkward-intovert @eren-jaeger-seijuurou21 @a6r6o6k @summerxdepression @irethepotato​

join the tag list here !!

(if your user is striked through, i couldn’t tag you)

#bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader #bsd #female reader insert #sister reader #nakajima atsushi x reader #fukuzawa yukichi x reader #edogawa ranpo x reader #yosano akiko x reader #kunikida doppo x reader #dazai osamu x reader #platonic relationships #armed detective agency x reader #ada x reader #armed detective agency #ada #nakajima atsushi #fukuzawa yukichi #edogawa ranpo #yosano akiko #kunikida doppo #dazai osamu #star writes!!💫📝 #[📂🔎] bsd things #[💫📝] the love of an older brother #[📝🌟] serendipity

[voted4exile]

understanding, not forgiveness

/dsmp rp

The biggest misconception about Tommy’s Last Stream is that c!Tommy forgave c!Dream. This never happened!

From the moment he steps into the main cell, c!Tommy does everything to keep both c!Dream and c!Punz from leaving. From challenging the two, to taunting c!Dream, to questioning his motives, to asking for his perspective of the server, c!Tommy tries many things. It’s clear that he’s not really interested or listening to what c!Dream or c!Punz has to say. All he cares about is stalling for c!Tubbo.

Tommy: K. I’ve muted. I just need to stall. I just need to stall them. [19:09]

Tommy: What do I say? Just to keep him here. What would keep him here? What would keep them here? Um… [19:58]

Tommy: Come on, Tubbo, faster, Tubbo. [25:40]

Tommy: Come on, Tubbo, come on, Tubbo, come on, Tubbo. [28:38]

After the last time he quietly calls for c!Tubbo, c!Dream goes on about how he was pushed to hit back, how he did evil things, and how c!Tommy could have been stuck in limbo forever. But c!Dream has the means to bring people back, and he doesn’t want life to be temporary.

That’s when c!Tommy chooses to discard items in the lava to put his armor away. He faces c!Dream and apologizes.

Tommy: You know what, Dream? I’m sorry. Because you’re right. Maybe you were having more fun. Maybe you were happy before I joined. But you can’t control who comes in and out. And- And- You know, you can have all these little areas, and that’s fun, but we’re all in this Dream SMP together. But you spent your entire life trying to get power, and before this revive book, you were the same alright. Before you had this power that you’ve always craved and you’ve got now, alright. You were the same old. I just don’t know how you can live with yourself. [30:25]

This apology might be genuine or it might be another tactic to stall. Just two minutes ago he was asking for c!Tubbo to hurry, so it’s more likely that he is saying whatever he can.

Not too long after, c!Dream kills c!Tommy, sending him to limbo. c!Tommy witnesses c!Dream’s first moments on the Dream SMP. When he is revived, he comes back, reeling from the pain. But once he gathers his bearings, he tells c!Dream about the vision he had. A vision of a happier c!Dream with c!George and c!Sapnap, living a simple life. c!Tommy realizes c!Dream wasn’t always evil and that what he really wants is something simple.

Dream: Well, we can go- We can get back- back to that. Once we understand the server, once we understand how life works and everything, then we- everyone will be- Y’know, they’ll be…

Tommy: That’s why you’re doing this, isn’t it? You just want it to be simple. *scoffs* Dream. I thought you were complicated. I thought- God, I thought you were a villain, Dream. I thought you were. [38:32]

This isn’t c!Tommy forgiving him, and c!Tommy is not saying c!Dream is innocent. He makes it clear that what c!Dream is doing is still wrong.

Tommy: I’m saying I think I understand you. And I don’t- I don’t think we’ve ever had a moment, since I joined, of being on the same side, the same page. But Dream. That’s okay. But this? Your way of doing this, of having to kill everyone else? That’s- You- That’s not right. This. This! A fucking torture trap! A Saw trap! Where one person has to survive? That’s not okay. But this, Dream. This- What you have inside you? You just want friends. Aw, me too, man. I get that. I get that! [40:26]

c!Tommy is being genuine when he says he understands c!Dream. It’s no longer about stalling. Unlike before, he has stopped calling for c!Tubbo to hurry up. He’s actively listening to c!Dream. He even tells c!Dream to “Speak up” when c!Punz talks over him. Most importantly, he actually asks c!Dream to call off the plan so they can leave the prison. 

Tommy: It’s not too late, man. You don’t need this. This life of prison, of killing, of torture, you could- You can stop this now. And we can leave this prison. [42:08]

This moment best supports that c!Tommy is being genuine. He is offering c!Dream an exit from both his plan and the prison itself. It’s no longer about keeping c!Dream in the targeted nuke zone.

Dream: Why can’t it just be simple again? Why can’t it just be like that forever? We can live forever, and we can- everyone can be… friends. And… I feel like it just- everything got- just so jumbled.

Tommy: Along the way... I’m with you, man. I’m with you.

Dream: Is it not too late? We can work together, and we can figure out-

Tommy: *hears sirens* Oh no. [43:25]

Unfortunately, the two have reached an understanding far too late. The nuke is about to hit, and c!Tommy apologizes. 

Tommy: I’m sorry.

Dream: You’re sorry for what? You’re sorry for what, Tommy?! Punz, I think we need to get out of here.

Punz: Yeah, yeah. We- We gotta- We gotta fucking go. We have to fucking go.

Tommy: Guys. It’s too late. It’s the whole prison. I just- I didn’t-

Punz: You’re fucking lying.

Tommy: I didn’t know. [44:50]

c!Tommy is sorry because it’s too late for them to escape the nuke that he had c!Tubbo launch. He didn’t know there was another option, that he and c!Dream could actually come to an understanding. 

Not once does c!Tommy forgive c!Dream for what he has done. Understanding is not forgiveness. This wasn’t redemption either. What c!Tommy was offering c!Dream was an opportunity to make things right. But it was far too late.

#dream smp #dsmp #c!tommy #c!dream #tommyinnit #dreamwastaken #dsmp finale #discduo #c!discduo #disc duo #my posts #analysis #this has been said multiple times before #but I wanted to break it down and share supporting quotes #and apparently dream himself has spoken #confirming it was only understanding #I wrote this all last night #so I'm posting it anyway

[ac-liveblogs]

So if you want a real answer for went wrong in Boruto let me explain.

Boruto is pretty much written by people who really don't like Naruto as a series because it goes out of its way to shit on the Naruto series (taking away Naruto and Sasuke's power-ups at the first chance which basically reverted them to beginning of Naruto, Naruto and Sasuke). The editor for Boruto is apparently a simp for Sadara. They just really don't like Naruto as a series because:

He's apparently just a missing dad but you probably knew this already.

Absolutely no respect for Naruto characters whatsoever.

They hate ninjas because everything is now aliens and machinery in Boruto. Also, a lot of retconning Naruto stuff to be oh aliens are the reason this exists.

Orochimaru is just there and no one remembers he's not to be trusted.

There's apparently a dimension where one of the villains just has multiple ten-tails clones in there and its weird.

So yeah... I don't even want to know what the fuck happened. The kicker is that Kishimoto, from what I've heard has not been that active in Boruto. His editor pretty much runs the show is what I have heard a lot.

The most I've seen of Boruto was the movie, where Naruto being an absent parent was solved because Boruto just didn't realise how cool his dad was... I think. I just kinda left that movie gobsmacked. Don't you see how cool your dad is Boruto. And also 'jutsu in a can' is illegal in the Chuunin exams for some reason? Literally why, they're a tool you can use...

Thanks for the response, I appreciate the insight. I can see how some of these problems might have come around, like trying to balance Naruto and Sasuke's absolutely absurd power levels against literally any kind of threat, or coming up with an enemy for Konoha to fight that wouldn't leave a black mark on Naruto's reign as Hokage... and the inherent issue of 'no one is watching this for the new characters, they want to see the old ones, but this isn't about them' you'll inevitably get with a next-gen sequel.

No one watched Boruto the movie for Boruto. No one.

But like... why make a next-gen sequel for Naruto of all series? I get why from a 'we want money' sense, but I feel they could've just animated the light novels or fillers into eternity and people would've been happier with those.

"Here's 40 episodes of Kakashi and Itachi in ANBU" or something, I don't know. I'd watch 10 episodes of Sasori's descent into absolute madness.

Maybe the reason they went "ALIENS" is because of Kishimoto's failed sci-fi manga? But it's weird he's hands off given I thought he took over the manga from someone else...

Btw, to add onto what the anon that sent the I gave up on Boruto ask, its a bigger problem than it being the typical female characters don't matter still in Boruto. Its that no one matters in Boruto except Boruto and Kiwaki. Everyone else just gets shit on. Like imagine the old Naruto is x fanfics but actually made real. That's Boruto. He's got everything and he's the bestest and specialest boy.

:/ That sucks. Why bother forcing so many pairings to produce kids if you don't even wanna use 'em. Sasuke didn't deserve this. But also, how are you simultaneously a simp for Sarada and don't really use her? Just shove her in stupid outfits and call it a day...?

I still don't know anything about Kawaki!? He's a moon boy too, right? It feels so weird to neglect the rest of Boruto's team, though. What's the point.

Boruto does really feel like an edgy OC. He's got Byakugan+1 AND Sasuke is his teacher... honestly, Sasuke as a mentor to Naruto's kid is cute in theory, except for the part where he's also a deadbeat dad to a whole other child (his own).

I couldn't help reading TBV thinking "...why didn't they just do this kind of plot with Naruto himself or something". Though I guess they kind of? Did? With Road To Ninja? The opposite direction?

Btw, unless I'm mistaken I don't think Naruto actually forgave Orochimaru. I think he just forgot because Kishimoto forgot about a lot of what happened in part 1 of Naruto except Sasuke imo.

Incredible.

#replies

[joneleslament]

I personally don't believe Legoland was pre-cyclone. I believe it is and only was post-cyclone.

Let me explain myself before you start telling me I'm wrong

Jane Doe was the one unidentified body of the cyclone disaster. She was unidentified because she lost her head and it was never found, Nor could anyone in Uranium recall her

And you might say "Oh but she just came to Uranium after her parents got arrested so nobody got used to her yet" that's where your wrong. Penny Lamb had a criminal record by 15 years of age and her brother Erza sold his medication to collage kids for money, I've never been to Canada yet but I'm sure anywhere in the world if a pair of kids that young came anywhere with a history of parents that grew weed and did and still does all that stuff? That news would spread like wildfire

And if Penny had a brother how was she unidentified if Erza could very well have went to the corner himself and outright told them she had gotten on the ride and it must be her. But again how in God's name would a card like Penny Lamb be left to a Jane Doe after all the stuff she's done back when she was 15?

Now think if Jane was originally someone else

A girl who did in-fact joined the choir late and didn't bother to talk to alot of people around Uranium because she planned to pack her things and leave as soon as she graduated

Excluding herself from any social gatherings, Any school events that aren't mandatory, only going out to get food so she can continue to live. Someone who never made friends because she didn't want to say goodbye

Someone nameless.

Think about it; With Jane originally being Penny there's a shit tone of plot holes but if Jane was someone totally different who never made herself known because she had the same goals as everyone else in the choir, It makes sense.

She'd have no friends so nobody in any of her classes could tell the corner anything, No shop workers probably didn't know more than maybe what groceries she bought every time she came, There's the possibility her parents were either out of the picture or didn't care enough to identify her; Neglectful or downright horrible parents are things that can happen in the real world and which we see with Mischa, Noel, And Ocean

And let's be honest, Ocean's parents were most likely not the ones to come claim her, It would most likely be people from St. Cassian and around Uranium considering how loud and "overpositive" she was which was most likely a huge contrast from everyone else

Constance we know had parents who ran the Blackwood Café which would make her well known among the town

Noel we know has a mom and was the only openly gay kid in a homophobic town and he was always told to dial it back so by that logic he had to have stuck out alot, Making him known

Mischa was the town's teenage fuck-up, He stole communion wine, He seemed to have caused some problems here and there which again makes him known

And Ricky was always acknowledged as some helpless boy because he was disabled which caused everyone to treat him hell-of-a-lot differently which obviously made him known and we know he had helicopter parents so-

And Jane? Well if she were Penny she would be well known enough to at least have a name to her corpse. But no Jane didn't get that, Which means she must have been someone duller, Someone more forgettable.

Someone nobody would know even existed till she was dead

Someone like the nameless person we see in at the fair with the choir.

And Karnak stated multiple times that he didn't know who Jane was and he genuinely feels guilty about having these CHILDREN die without doing anything so why would he lie when he can very well make them so much happier by telling Jane who she was, Having her remember so she has her own song to sing and not one of a nameless face

Think what you will but I highly doubt Penny was pre-cyclone with the amount of plot holes in that theory. But rather Penny is post-cyclone thus leaving the Cyclone's Jane Doe to a new story to begin but never an old story to tell.

(I suck at explaining shit😭)

#rtc musical #ride the cyclone #jane doe rtc #rtc headcanons #rtc theory #ocean oconnell rosenberg #mischa bachinski #noel gruber #constance blackwood #ricky potts #the amazing karnak #penny lamb #legoland

[cinnamon-bunni]

levi/barbatos is currently rotating in my head rn and is tumbling like clothes in a dryer so you know what? headcanon list time lets go I thank you the total of like 5 people who will end up reading this they mean the world to me okay?

LEVIBARB HEADCANONS

Leviathan falling for Barb first, and man does he fall hard

He starts crushing on the butler when he fixes his cosplay; Levi had ordered it and it showed up damaged and ripped. Barbatos got around to fixing it before Levi could, and he hadn't even asked him to do so

It's just the idea of that Barb is so cool. Like cooler than anyone that Levi knows

He can bake, sew, he knows curses and spells, has wisdom on just about anything and everything--he's the cool type in dating sims. A kuudere, if you will, but even cooler

I don't think Levi has ever had a real crush on someone before. like don't get me wrong he has so many characters from his games and anime that he would do just about anything for, but I don't think he's really harbored those feelings for someone that is not in a computer screen

i like to think levi would then be so obvious about his crush on the butler, while the thinks he's being cool about it. everyone in a five mile radius knows about it lol

and ofc barbatos knows about it. like how could he not? levi isn't exactly secretive about it. the demon started to come over a lot more and try to find excuses to hang out with the butler

Barb humored him tho, because he did find him kinda cute. but more like in a way one would feel towards a sopping wet cat they found on the side of the street. he found it funny that levi was at times even willing to help him with things like baking or tending to the gardens, even when he wasn't good at either of those things

At some point it changed, though. Barbatos isn't sure when, but there is a point where it changes from him humoring Levi for the fun of it and into enjoying the other's company

Such an odd pair, tbh. They both know it but they are good for each other me thinks

Like??? As I've discussed Barb starts to genuinely enjoy Lev's company. He starts to laugh and smile more, acting less stoic even when Levi wasn't around

And Levi acting like a high school girl in love??? That's the good shit lol 💞💞 he is so much happier with life and the outside world and even came to terms with Barb being a normie! Because he is willing to learn <33

because!!! because Barb is open to learning about Levi's interests. Levi helps him interact kitchen (even though he isn't the best at baking) and he tends to the garden with him (even though he isn't all that knowledgeable on plants), and seeing as levi indulges in his hobbies, why not enjoy is free time in what levi likes?

Besides, levi just looks so happy when barb offers to play a game or watch an anime with him. and yeah barb fucking sucks ass at the games and has to politely ask levi to stop pausing on each frame of the episode in order to get through it all, but its the quality time together that counts

do you think about how lucifer and the others would feel? because i think about that all the time

like again levi isn't able to keep his crush secret at all so i imagine all his brothers (sans lucifer) try and help him out. like they drop heavy hints towards barb about how levi is interested in him while levi fights off the urge to call lotan out of sheer embarrassment in order to get them to stop

mammon so takes credit for those two getting together; levi was late for his first date because asmo wouldnt let him leave until he approved of his outfit; lucifer is holed away in his office, demonous in hand, trying not to think about his brother going out with diavolo's butler

like. i am sure diavolo would support it and would be extremely happy for barbatos that he found someone that makes him happy. but lucifer? he is speaking through gritted teeth of how happy he is for levi. he is definitely fine about this decision because his brother is a grown demon and can make his own decisions but he will be processing his feelings with a bottle or two (or three) of demonous later that night

and just....Levi being so awkward on the first few dates?? i mean im sure he will always be awkward when he's around Barb but like?? poor thing is a mess lmao

idk man something something barb brings such a huge comforting feeling to levi and levi gives barb a breath of fresh air into his life and something something they give strength to each other to leave comfort zones and live for something that makes them happy

#another argument for this ship: levi is orange/blue aroace colors while barb is green/black aro colors. i rest my case #i love this ship in both a romantic and a platonic way okay they are just sooooo cute together #i made this draft back in march....just shows you how much i procrastinate on things lmao #i could go on and on about these two honestly....and yes i am preparing image propaganda so one day i'll post that probably lol #the problem with barbatos though imo is that canon does very little with his character so i have to do all the work....sigh #you know what if anyone reads this. send me your barbatos hcs pretty please im starting to love this man and need more of him lmao #obey me #omswd #obey me barbatos #barbatos #obey me levi #leviathan #obey me leviathan #levi #levibarb #back when i was in my banners phase....damn #bunni mumbles #possibly delete later #<- depending on hard this post flops lmao #obey me headcanons

[oh-surprise-its-me]

As much as I love Roos, I can't get over how protective Jav is if Jake. Like!!! He gets all serious when the jokes takes a serious turns, and holds back Roos before he cam jump at him.

So--! Married. Jake's dads know, so does javys mom and sister. Hell, they secretly had bets on who would make the first move and everything, javy is basically family since forever. But the daggers don't know (and okay, they both are very good at keeping secrets, Jake kept his whole family a secret ever since flight school!), they find out when one of them is hurt and the other just panics because fuck. Fuck close call how am I supposed to react there?? Sir? Mr compacflt how do you react to your admiral husband getting hurt Sir??? (Yeah, well, whoever of them it is, the answer never changes, and Tom never reacts well).

Could be random training/mission, could be the dagger training before bird strike, could be after Jake takes off as dagger spare but shit goes wrong...could be anything, but the daggers thought those two were just friends, close friends, and messing up with them about having a house together, and plans, and the rings too...

AHAHAHAAAAA MY TIME TO BE EVIL.

I live for Jake x Javy. I desperately need more of it. It’s like I’m 8 again and sticking two ken dolls together to kiss. I love this.

—

When Jake slammed out of his plane they all could only watch. Javy can’t believe he just had to watch Jake eject. He’s never seen Jake eject before.

Fuck.

“Mav what’s happening! Why did Jake just go out???”

“His plane wasn’t responding to any controls Coyote. He ejected. Everyone come back now. No arguments.”

Javy scans the sky for the med helicopter. “Mav where is med.” “still coming Coyote. Return back to base.”

Javy can’t leave him out there. What kind of husband would that make him. Oh fuck Jake’s dads. They’re on base today. Javy is going to have to tell them their son is dead.

“JAVY!”

He snaps out of it at Tom’s voice. “Sir?” “Oh thank god Javy. It’s fine. Jake will be fine. Come back down. You hear me son?”

Javy opens his mouth and closes it. “Sir…?” Tom sighs. “Kid your husband and my son will be fine. He’s resilient. Bounced back as much as Ron does. Come home.” Javy obeys, he trusts Tom with anything. If he says Jake is fine then he’ll be fine.

-

When Javy lands he falls out of the cockpit. Somehow Ron is there to catch him. He takes him all the way to the ground with his weight. “Jake?” Ron nods. “Hospital. He’s fine though.”

The daggers are all standing on the side watching this unfold. Tom makes his way over. “Hey kiddo? Ready to go see him?”

Javy shakes out another sob. He can’t help it. He can’t lose Jake.

They slowly make their way up to the med bay.

There’s Jake. His incredible husband Jake.

“Javy!” Javy blinks. Apparently Jake is awake. That’s a good sign. He’s got blood in his blond hair but otherwise a soft cast on his wrist looks to be the worst.

“Broke my nose again tata! That might get me close to beating Papa’s record!”

Tom laughs and sits next to the bed after shoving Javy into the other chair, “baby not something to be proud of.” Jake grins. “So you called me husband across the entire radio huh? Is that why my phone is blowing up?”

Javy blinks. Whoops. He rubs the back of his neck and doesn’t look Jake in the eyes. “Yeah. Sorry.”

Jake laughs. “Baby I can’t wait to hold your hand while being out. But you know the daggers are going to as so many questions.”

Ron kisses Jake’s head and brushes a hand across Tom’s shoulders. “We’re going back to our room. We’ll see you in the morning okay boys?” The two younger men nod, “good. Love you both.”

-

Phoenix and Rooster slip into the room a few minutes later. “How’s he doing?” Javy shrugs from where he’s holding Jake. “Fine. Nothing lasting. Got lucky.”

Rooster nods. “Canwe ask you something?” Javy sighs, he knew this would be coming.

“Are you two happy like this?”

Oh fuck Javy wasn’t expecting that.

“Extremely. Never been happier. I’ve spend so much time with him already I wouldn’t know how to live without him.” Phoe nods and pats a hand on Jake’s hair. Roo claps a hand on Javy’s shoulders. “For the record I’m very happy for you both.”

“Thanks I’m happy for us as well.”

-

When Jake wakes up he’s warm. Javy must be in bed with him. He starts to wiggle to break free but remembers his wrist and hip are fucked up. He slowly just starts petting Javy’s hair. It’s like having a puppy right there in front of him at all times.

Jake voiced that thought once and got a spanking of a lifetime. He hasn’t said that out loud again (yet..)

#ron slider kerner #chris seresin #tom iceman kazansky #tom x ron x chris #ron x chris x tom #top gun #jake hangman seresin #jake x Javy #javy coyote machado #javy machado x jake seresin #slider is jake's dad au #mac writes top gun #literally fell asleep writing this hopefully it makes sense

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Thoughts~

Bonnie being angry and disappointed at Freddy when Cassie helps bring him back only for him to see the destruction and decay of his family and home that Freddy allowed to happen because of Gregory, and breaks up with him.

Bonnie later slowly starts falling in love with Proto Freddy (maybe a bit of it is Bonnie projecting but he's def falling) instead.

And Freddy can see it happening from where he is.

Gay drama~

(Long post. I went off on one lmao and can't use read mores on my phone, sorry mobile users)

Ohhh that's a fun one! Bonnie rebounding onto Protobear and after a while those feelings become real... he deserves it honestly. He deserves a happy ending after everything, and so does Protobear! Bet that's an emotional rollercoaster to get through though... That party doesn't sound fun... For them anyway. Very fun for us though! Sucks to be them!

You know what else is fun for this? Bonnie falling for whoever Freddy believed deactivated him. Freddy treating someone differently before the events of SB, and side eying them all the time, not trusting them at all because of what the must have done to Bonnie... It must have been them! They're the only one the makes sense! They're the one that made him disappear and is trying to act like everything's normal! They must be to blame! They took his Bonnie from him and won't tell him what they did or where he is! Whether he's right or not is irrelevant, if he believes it's true, he's going to want nothing to do with them! They need to stay away from Bonnie!

And now here he is. Watching Bonnie flirt with that person. Be it Monty, Roxy, Moon, Chica, whoever. Freddy finally saying out loud what he's felt he's known for a long time now, that this animatronic killed him, how could Bonnie possibly even still look at them, never mind fall in love with them after that?!

Bonnie's face falls flat. He turns to Freddy and stares him right in the eyes. "They didn't do it, Freddy." or even, "They did it to save me, Freddy. What did you do?"

Absolutely devastating. The gay drama is so good

On another note, this is making me think of Protobear and Roxy being fucking hilarious. "Hey, you wanna really freak him out?" one of them asks and they start fake dating in front of Freddy to piss him off. Like they're the most over the top, mushy couple with the most insufferable nicknames, trying so hard not to laugh their asses off, and the first one to crack loses. Everyone gets in on it. Whaaaaat?? Roxy and Protobear?? Oh they're sooooo in love so so so in love, they're not pretending, they would never pretend!!

Jskdndk they get Cassie in on it and she starts calling them mum and dad 2 and Freddy is pointedly trying to leave the room as quickly as possible, but as usual, the fucking doors aren't letting him out again. They're always on the blink now, it's absolutely never Roxy using her security clearance to play Musical Doors with him. Nope. Never. Look at their fake mushy romance boy, you can't escape.

Freddy has never been more confused and sickened in his life. He's always hated Roxy and Roxy's always hated him, this is the worst thing to have to watch ever. He's even more upset if Bonnie pretends to be their partner as well, and even more so if Roxy was who he assumed deactivated him. This is a nightmare scenario and he's being so brave about it.

Sat there trying so hard not to say a word. He's so fine. Not glaring at all. No no no, he's not staring listlessly at them, he's just trying to contact maintenance via the network, obviously. He's not resisting the urge to grimace and not wishing the floor would swallow him up right now. Absolutely not. He would never. He's so so so happy for them. Yup. So so happy. Could not be happier. Why won't these fucking doors open?!

You could apply the fake dating to Protobear and Bonnie specifically too. Bonnie's going through a rebound, and he knows it, so he stays away from Protobear for a while. He tries to take care of himself and the others are right there to help him out the best they can. When he's feeling better, he starts gradually spending more time with Protobear (who has had the situation of Bonnie and Freddy explained to him and is very understanding about it) and the two start slowly building a friendship. Slowly, so as to not rush Bonnie through anything. Protobear himself has walked away from several hangouts because he can tell that Bonnie is struggling, even if he won't admit it, they're handling this with the utmost care...

But then Bonnie, Roxy, Monty and Chica, the four that should never be trusted without supervision, get talking. Bonnie is laughing at these three clowns telling him all about how they're fucking with Freddy for fun, and let him in on some of their schemes. They're hilarious, and he would have thought so before everything happened too, even if he did think they were a bit mean at times. I mean, rallying a bunch of kids to gang up on Freddy in their Fazerblast game as a 'super secret mission' is a touch mean, right? Not anymore. He deserves it.

But then they get to thinking. Bonnie wants to try messing with him too. They bring him in on some of their dastardly plans, and come up with several new ones for him, and believe me, at this time, not a single one of them has the braincell, so you can imagine the bullshit they come up with lmao. He finds this weirdly cathartic. The ability to moderately inconvenience Freddy in funny ways is more fun than he thought it'd be. He was worried it would hurt, worried it would make him think about things too much, and while it does hurt to look at him sometimes... Well his heart is more with his friends than ever now. He feels no desire to be nice to him, or to go back to how things were anymore. He's okay now and this is what makes that real to him...

Then one day it hits him. His own plan to mess with Freddy. Completely his own, the three stooges had nothing to do with this one. It hit him when he was hanging out with Protobear and DJ. What if they were fake dating in front of Freddy? Bonnie and Protobear! Madly in love, with the most sickeningly sweet pet names and the worst pick up lines you've ever heard in your life! DJ thinks that would be pretty mean... But would get him so good, he's a surprisingly petty guy sometimes. Protobear agrees and is completely up for this, it sounds hilarious, but... is Bonnie sure he's ready for that? Is he sure he can handle that?

They think on it a bit and talk to the others about it, who think that's fucking genius but have the same concerns as Protobear. Sunny thinks it's a bit much (and he's probably right) but is very excited to play along with this. He loves playing pretend, he's where Cassie gets it from. When they decide they're gonna do it, they set a few boundaries just in case, make a safe word for if they feel they start going too far with it, and swear to eachother to call it off if it all starts getting too much... Or maybe too real.

Oh my god they have so much fucking fun with it. Protobear has never laughed so hard in his life. The others joining in, helping them pull this off, and building on the joke too make it even more fun! They're having a blast and Freddy is suffering greatly! Customer service mode can't save him now!

But after a while, things start to change. Some of the flirting becomes a little too heartfelt. The insistence that they're not actually a thing becomes less frequent. The act starts to spill over into their everyday lives. Suddenly, they're not so sure this is still a joke anymore. Suddenly, the overdramatic cuddles last until long after Freddy has left the room. Suddenly, they're starting to wonder what it be like to be together for real.

Realisation hits and oh god oh no oh fuck this was NOT the PLAN god DAMN IT

So much fun to be had here!

One more funny one: instead of just Roxy or Bonnie pretending to be with Protobear, what if it's everyone? Protobear has one giant polycule going on where everyone apparently adores him and he dotes on everyone cause he loves them all so so so much. Freddy is staring in disbelief at the 'romantic' cuddle pile Protobear is right in the centre of like this is the most normal thing in the world. It's a Plex wide competition to see who can be the most insufferable in a fake relationship and whoever cracks first loses. It's a team effort! A coordinated attack! And sometimes they actually do fluster Protobear and eachother they're all having fun!

I'd like to call this plan the Protocule :)

(Also, hi jellycreamjammedart! This is the first post I've made today so you may wanna check I've not reblogged with more additions later on. I know you get online kinda late in my timezone, or at least that's when I tend to see you around, so saying this is just in case!)

#comedically torturing freddy is my favourite thing to do it's so funny #he has this massive grip on what emotions he displays it's like he's in permanent customer service mode sometimes #watching him struggle so hard is Roxy's favourite pass time lmao #long post #pop rox answers #OH GOD I'LL REBLOG WITH THIS ADDITION LATER TO MAKE SURE IT'S SEEN #BUT BONNIE ACCIDENTALLY USING THE PET NAME HE HAD FOR FREDDY IN PROTOBEAR #AND PROTOBEAR DOESN'T KNOW SO BONNIE FLINCHES EVER SO SLIGHTLY #WHILE PROTOBEAR TURNS TO LOOK AT HIM A BUT FLUSTERED BY THE NAME AND SMILES SO SWEETLY #BUT SO UNLIKE FREDDY AND BONNIE IS MELTING ABD OH GOD OH NO WAIT A SEC IS HE FALLING OH GOD OH NO #wait is this bullying? i feel like roxy would bully him but hmm. I'll have to think on that... #maybe it's the doors specifically that's suddenly bugging me #hmmmm i dunno. anyway #i love waking up to things that give me ideas dnjdjd #now imagine proto is zags the old freddy and the confusion is rising djdnjd #to be clear freddy is unaware most of this is just them fucking around #he's suspicious of a few things but not everything #they're all very sneaky about their crimes and the vast majority are harmless and just inconveniencing #very few of them actually want to hurt him but will mess with him a little from a distance if it's funny #they would all mess with eachother before hand they just weren't sneaky about it so the whole 'getting caught' thing is all that's really- #-changed. not for roxy though. she's always fucked around with freddy specifically as sneaky as possible #was just less often before now... #I'm wondering what the scenario is here btw. how did we get to a presumably open plex that freddy is a part of? #i feel like certain animatronics wouldn't let him through the fucking door again #hmmm anyway

[katyspersonal]

If I had a nickel for every time a person that quite seriously helped with public slandering and humiliating me for fake ass reasons, supported drastically ableist stance on me and took the side of my stalker (that also I remind you bullied other fans for headcanons) then got upset and "insulted" at the fact that I vented about how much they hurt me and my friends, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but what the actual fuck.

Like... Maybe consider not spyoning on a blog of a person that "makes you uncomfy"? You will be happier if you don't check up on things and people you hate, seriously. And if you do, why you act so shocked that I express my pain and disapproval of your actions and mindset, the very same that hurt me and my friends? In fact, why DOES it hurt you to learn what I think and feel after your words and actions? Why do you CARE about feelings and opinion of a person you despise and disrespect so much that you deemed them worthy of all this, and even their friends deserve to be hurt by association? Like... NOW you consider my feelings? Of course I fucking disapprove of backstabbing me and my friends after over month of pretending to forgive me. Of course I fucking disapprove admission that you are willing to help slandering and humiliating a person that you were not even scared and hurt by. I wrongly assumed that if you hated me that much, I must have actually done something wrong, but now I know I still didn't because you admitted that you were willing to harm someone and even shun their friends without even as much as hard feelings, because they are a "heretic"?

Is what hurts that I had very high opinion on you and then flipped on a dime when something drastic came out? But isn't it the same way for you? Didn't you both like my blog and thought I was cool and then one day it was over? I think it is safe to assume that unfortunately it can work like that. And everything can be fixed and worked into neutrality and 'cold peace' coexistence, but you don't want that. You'd rather keep getting upset and self-isolate from everyone that likes my company, or isolate them from me, so this hole just keeps growing and growing and all good things that could have been keep falling into it. Or you really expect me to leave just because of all this? When I was a kid and a teen and a bit of a young adult, I've dealed with bullying to the point of having literal stones thrown into me, and never once I avoided the places where it was happening. Because it made no logical sense that some jerks could decide who belongs or not belongs in a place that is for everyone. I tried to enjoy my time anyway. I was not, listening and enduring all that, but I tried. Sometimes I'd get really bad for me and I'd snap and fight back, and I remember they were scared when I did because anger of cornered rat is a terrifying thing you know? One time it got especially bad with one of them and I snatched the bat from her hands and smacked HER over the face, worse than she hurt me but I've had enough. Then finally adults bothered to get involved, and what I received from the bullies was "but why didn't she just leave this area? :(" Why the question is "why won't you go away?" instead of "why I feel entitled to bully out a person that didn't even do anything bad to me but just makes me uncomfy with not being like us?"

In the end, I walked a full circle. Some autists just have a power of bringing out the worst in people with how much they don't understand unspoken social cues, cultural rifts, even the language and semantics often times. I have a friend with similar problem, he had a bad luck of using combination of words that make people go blind from rage without meaning to, and you find out he actually made a perfect logical sense after talking to him for context and reasoning. I thought it was a curse, but it is a blessing. I decided I will never fix what is "wrong" with me, if it really helped to separate fakers from real ones in such a short time. Without it, I'd be friends with traitors, cowards, bullies, fools, conformists and stalkers. And the worst part, I would not ever learn it.

Yet again: you are NOT harmed by me venting in MY blog about how I was hurt by your words and actions. If you two were okay with slander and public humiliation of someone and their friends, sure you must be okay with someone venting about actual harm. Or else you have double standards. You are not supposed to care about what I think about you either, you are supposed to crawl into your Discord groups to share screenshots of my posts and mock me there for "being so butthurt" like your kind of people always does. And if you do not want me to hold grudges, you've had enough chances to neutralize me. I was not having you blocked for a good reason. But you chose to keep throwing stones. Too bad for you, I've been trained for this shit, when your spoiled soft asses cry harm and trauma over a single slightly negative experience. Heck, over even reading something you don't like!

Here is a thing: I do not namedrop you. I only namedropped two people when it was relevant, and only because they made themselves public first so I didn't "out" them. And if some people read "he reblogged posts bullying me 50 times too often and was too eager to hate on me, like to the point it was scary" and instantly think of you, then consider what reputation you have. Why? Why? Why you'd throw me (and. my. FRIENDS.) to the wolves and then get angry that I react? Tell me why! It is your problem that you are willing to harm people willy-nilly without considering their feelings or bothering to actually learn whether they deserve stalking and bullying and their friends getting collateral damage, and in the end you don't even have the honor to be genuinely mad and scared as your motivation for it. It is """not personal""". So getting unhealthy obsession with helping slandering me was "not personal"? So acting oh-so-supportive towards my friend who got to talk about her identity and then instantly dropping her upon learning she was interacting with me, after previously having been thankful to her for being one of the first to support YOU, was "not personal"? And the worst thing, I believe it. This is just your Tiktok generation of cruel, overly-judgemental people. You did not get to learn about real life and real relationship and real complexities, and you never will. And I was such a fool doubting myself thinking that you were scared of me.

So tell me why. Tell me why NOW you care what I think of you? Why you care that I vent in MY blog, without namedropping? Why you care what I say and feel if I am nothing but a name of "heretic" to block and pass along for you, a person you don't know and don't think has feelings and nuance worthy of considering before mistreating? Why do you CARE about my opinion? Is this because I effects your self-image? But I am just a stupid bigot in your eyes, so how can my opinion have any power or credibility for you? Are you scared that people will find out? But I do not namedrop! Are you upset that "I don't know you" to say such things? But you do not know ME, and yet that didn't stop you from accepting and helping to spread extremely hateful and uncharitable headcanons about my personality, beliefs and motives your friends crafted, so clearly you are okay with "saying things"? Why? TELL ME WHY! Tell me how it is supposed to hurt you, because it does NOT! The worst I can do is to yell at you and run away crying, and I didn't even do THAT!

Unless I just did, because yet again you decided to sneak around and check my blog. Dude, you hate acknowledging my existence to you point of abandoning mutuals that answer my asks, so why would you check my blog? Just don't do that? Just not check it? There were 4 coincidences about your art that made me think that you were snooping on my content, I am helpful with the lore I know, and took some stuff for inspiration, and one time was passively-aggressive about how I drew a certain female character. But I've got a relief that no, they were all coincidences, and you were not stalking me. So now I have to worry about it again? So I should give into my paranoia, because there was a reason in the end?

Just go away, okay? Just go away. The alter that grew from guilt and pain, and admiration, that you've triggered, is dead, anyhow. It was painful and felt like getting the whole entirety erased and written again, but it's done, so you don't have to worry about it either. Just not sneak on a person you dislike, because, again, me venting without namedropping won't effect you, nor you should care what "just another heretic" thinks. I am not a human for people like you, after all your drama-hungry kind does, and stop pretending that I am. My friends aren't either, they are just "traitors" that refuse to cooperate for your group, and I hate every single conformist bastard that blocked them by association. Not you, them. I won't have a gaslighting of "it is not us vs them!!!!" when actions speak louder than words, and all effected people know what they did.

So far I do not have an incentive to stop digging myself deeper into a hole of "wronged intellectual" self-image, which is a bold claim for someone with quite large intellectual disability as myself, I know. But none of this makes any sense, and doubting that maybe I just don't get something about people availed me nothing. I do get it, society IS just as bad as it seems, deny it or not.

#/vent #I am sorry if I've lost the train of thought I just started shaking from crying while writing #and then it just was kinda gone #I need a drink /srs #yes I know it is not healthy coping mechanism but I am tired #I can't escape the loop of 'why the fuck are you VOCAL about the pain and harm we caused you?' #I just wish I was not born into a world that stands on this #it is not just here its always been this way. and I mean ALWAYS. #humans dont change #I tried to blame culture I try to blame time and generation but no. humans are JUST like this. #there is no reason or story.