#why can't they just suffer in silence(((( | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kneelingshadowsalome · 1 year

Note

Hi !!!! I’m sorry if this is bothering you and if so you can totally ignore this but…

I’ve been thinking about how Ghost would react to reader gradually pulling away from him because she gained some weight and is self conscious and ashamed and doesn’t want to be seen by him, so sculpted and beautiful… but of course he’s feeling low because he wants to be close to reader and so he asks and she finally explains it to him (ready to be broken up with…)…. And I’d love to read your take on it !

You can make it female or gender neauteal I don’t really care !!!! Thank you anyway ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Wildflowers Grow in Ruins

(Ghost x F!Reader, word count: 5 k)

Summary: Reader tries to break up with Ghost because she thinks she's not good enough for him.

Tags/warnings: FLUFF, soft sensual smut 🔞, hurt/comfort, light angst, Jealous!Ghost, Soft!Ghost, self-loathing & self-body shaming. Good girl talk/praise kink. Reader is female and wears a skirt for smut plot purposes.

A/N: I hope you like this take & I hope you don't mind that I tweaked this request just a little bit!) Also: JFC I'm wordy. The "I need to explain why they're fucking!" meme comes to mind every time I write anything.

Wars are exhausting.

You know fighting for something can empower people. Fighting against something usually just depletes your strength.

But waging a war against yourself…

Now that is pure hell.

It started somewhere in your youth. You thought adulthood would take it away; that reason and tolerance would take it away. You were supposed to feel more confident in yourself, more positive about life. And for a moment, you thought you might just succeed.

But standing beside a god of war is no easy feat.

He came into your life like a walking myth, swept you away, and you only laughed as you went. It was fun at first. He was supposed to be your savior, the solution to all your problems. If a man like him found you attractive, perhaps it was the world that was crooked and not you.

But then you got soft: you started to gain pounds. Meanwhile, he became even more magnificent. It reminded you that it had all been just a dream.

Perhaps it was his eyes that seemed to worship you, that seemed to look past your every flaw. Perhaps it was the hands which never seemed to get enough of your skin. Whatever it was, it was too much. And at the same time, never enough.

The day has finally come to let him go.

You think yourself heroic. It's like it should be: it's only right that you finally release him to someone better than you.

But inside, the noble feelings twist and turn and curl around your throat and stuff your stomach full of ice - the kind they fill glasses of mojito with. The drink you'll always remember him by because he teased you about it: that you wanted an ice-cold summer drink even in the middle of winter.

Now you feel cold all over, and wish he could warm you like he used to.

You would forsake all the mojitos of the world to keep him. You would renounce the whole drink if it came to that; if you could make him yours.

But he's not yours. He never was: he was just on loan to give you a taste of what it would be like to have a man like him. That taste should be more than enough for a lifetime. You should feel grateful.

So why is it so hard to let go?

The key on the front door turns, and your heart shoots up your throat: you're supposed to settle this thing once and for all. You're supposed to let go of him today.

And still, when he arrives, you can't find the courage to say what you need to say. The words are stuck in your throat, but tears are not. He should already be a memory, but you find yourself suffocating on memories as you cry. You've learned to do even that in silence, like the rest of your suffering.

You take a few deep breaths, wipe the tears away, shove the rest of them down your throat – you save them for later, later, when he's far away and you can finally curl up and cry your heart out without no one there to look. Fucking later.

Good.

Great.

You put your heaviest armor on. It protects weak and soft flesh because you can't meet him all bare. Then you step forward with the knowledge that you’re a thoroughly wounded guerrilla while he is a seasoned, well-rested veteran. The fight is nowhere near even, but it's ok. You are not meant to be in the presence of immortals anyway.

The man looks at you warily as you finally enter the room. That haunted look has followed you for some time now as the distance between you has grown.

It should be easy, what is about to come, because he hasn't touched you in weeks. You haven't wanted him to.

Or you have… But it's not easy to have his hands on you when your body is only a vessel you hate. How can you even think about pleasure when all you think about is how it must feel for him to caress something as awful as this?

The man is a vision, and he settles for a peasant. It should be against the law, but it's not… so you figured a some time ago that you should simply find the strength and grace to do ii: do what's right.

"I need to talk to you."

Your voice comes out neutral, and it makes you more confident, if only for a second or two.

He lifts his chin: already knows what's coming, because he's not stupid. You've been shutting down for weeks, and he hasn't done much about it. But when the thunder rolls in, he doesn't flee. Probably because he fears nothing.

"Go ahead then," he says, equally as neutral, equally as icy. Got his armor on, too.

This should be easy…

It's really not, so you decide to rip the band-aid off in one yank.

"I think we should go separate ways."

The following inhale from across the room pierces the air like a bullet. You can hear his breaths gain depth and speed all the way to where you're standing.

"Ok."

It doesn't look or sound like he's ok. If anything, he looks like he's trying to process the sudden storm.

"Ok…" His eyes are on the floor as he rubs the back of his neck. Then he starts to pace around the little kitchenette you've shared for almost six months, just before you started gaining weight.

He stops to look out the window, then turns to you, and the hurt in his stare comes through like a thousand needles pushing through skin.

"Is it because of my work?"

"No."

"What is it then?"

Your breaths are getting out of hand, too. He looks like a lost, tired creature in an abandoned animal shelter for a moment, and it breaks your heart. It squeezes the organ inside a flaming fist until it shatters like it has never been nothing more than ice.

Your lip starts to tremble, and he notices, as per usual. Nothing escapes this man, except perhaps the true reason for your anguish.

"Hey. Hey."

He comes to you and hugs you like it's the only thing that matters: to comfort you when he sees you're about to cry, no matter how crushed he's feeling himself. The sudden warmth, the intimacy after weeks and weeks of pain is knee-buckling.

"Is there anything I can do to change your mind?"

His voice is soft, so soft… The tears rush forth now; there's no way of stopping them. What the hell can you even say to a question like that? That you wish he could grab a magic wand and turn you into someone gorgeous, the woman he deserves?

His embrace feels good, kind of. It also feels smothering because your self-hate makes you want to disappear from existence entirely. His eyes are equal to physical touch, a probing scan that sees every little flaw, not to talk about massive faults, the ones which make you feel like you're simply disgusting. His touch only reminds you how you must feel like to him: soft, too soft, weak.

And he must hate weakness.

"What do you need me to do? I'll do anything," he tries with a parched throat, then swallows.

It's fucking horrible. This isn't going at all like you had imagined.

"It's not about you," you struggle out of his hold, and he lets you go with reluctance. You have to basically fight your way out of a bone and steel prison. Why would he even want to hold a pathetic woman who's on the brink of ugly crying on top of everything?

"What do you mean?"

He's slightly breathless – and restless as fuck. He's usually so calm; nothing can get to him, nothing can rattle the tower of raw strength. Now you've not only pierced some invisible armor; you can hear pieces of it falling on the floor.

"Have you found someone else?"

What the…

"No." You put as much weight on that word as you possibly can. To imagine that he thinks you are cheating… Fucking cheating on someone like him. "Jesus Christ…"

He takes a deep breath and sighs deeply, sighs out relief, perhaps. Then his razor-sharp stare fixes on you again, and you can see the fear turning into something akin to concern. You suspect you have to tell him the truth, otherwise he will dig it out of you.

"I'm just…"

Jesus, this is just humiliating.

"I'm just not your type."

"What the hell are you talking about," he mutters, the impending fury giving way to momentary surprise.

He gets intense sometimes. This time, the ferocity is born of barely concealed distress. He's broad and magnificent, even in despair. He’s just so fucking fine… The perfect man, someone you had never even imagined yourself with. Pulled down to the world of puny mortals, evidently stressing about losing one.

Losing you.

"If you have someone new, you can just bloody well tell me."

"It's not that. You don't understand–"

"Try me."

"I just…" A tear escapes down your face as you finally break for him. "I'm fat. Okay? And ugly. And–"

"Stop right there."

The look on his face is just… It's priceless, you suppose.

"Bloody fucking hell…"

He looks at the floor, then runs his fingers through the short cut hair on top of his head. You've yanked those blonde strands more times than you can count, nearly every time he's been between your legs, and you miss it – you long for it, like fallen angels long for heaven.

And if there was a time this man was rendered speechless, you would say you were witnessing that moment right now. His brows knit together, then he looks up at you again with blaring disbelief.

"You're serious?"

"Yes."

"This is the reason you wanna break up?"

Ugh.

"Yes?"

His voice grows rougher with every question until it resembles thunder, and you suspect this is the commanding tone his soldiers are used to hearing.

But you're not: it's gravelly, harsh, and betrays the feeling of having been insulted. You feel even more devastated with yourself – it appears you can do nothing right.

"Where has this… idea even come to your head?"

"I don't know."

"And you never thought to ask my opinion?"

"Would you please stop yelling," you whisper and blink back some putrid tears. His mouth is snapped shut, his head pulls back just a little as he realizes what he's done.

"Sorry," he says with a half-whisper, and you catch the strain in his throat. You've never seen him cry, but now his voice is suddenly thin and frail. "I'm sorry."

He takes a step, then another, places fingertips on the counter as if to take the faintest support.

"Can I touch you?"

You don't really want him to do that, but you feel pity for the man. He's trying to find a way through this mess, and you want to help him.

"Yes," you whisper, and he immediately comes and takes you in his arms again. Hot tears disappear into his shirt, and you sniff a few times. He feels so good, so safe, even when you're about to lose him. His hold tightens around you, and the kitchen is silent; the whole world is silent. You don't know if you're being put to a grave or if you're in a deaf womb, waiting to be reborn.

"Now I don't know who's said this shite to you but ugly is the last fucking thing I'd call you," he declares above you. As if it was some bully whose fault it is that you were this way, a bully he could deal with with his fists or a gun. If only things were that easy…

"Have I said or done something? To make you feel this way?"

Then the blade is turned against himself. The man desperately searches for a culprit so he can deal with them.

"No," is the only thing you can say because it's true: he has never done a thing to make you feel like you weren't good enough; quite the contrary. But then again, he doesn't have to. It's enough that he exists and resembles a god.

"Then why do you think you're not my type?"

"Because you're so perfect," you hear yourself wail, no, cry into that shirt that smells of sweet safety and familiar musk – his scent, another thing you have missed like it's the only way to heaven.

"That for sure ain't true."

"But it is."

He seems to have the utmost difficulty in grasping what the issue here is. You can almost hear the wheels turning in his head with a rusty, laborious creak.

"Can't believe you wanna break up because of this," he finally says. You've chipped his pride, the ego that lives off of pleasing the ones he loves: the few chosen ones who he wants to give his whole life to.

"To me, you're perfect," he then says, and you simply… You stop breathing. "You're like… my dream woman. Ever thought about that?"

It can't be true, even if you vehemently, desperately want it to be. You reach out to his words like they're precious food after years of famine. Like they're sun and spring rain after being buried in the cold, dark soil whole winter.

"No…?"

"Never occurred to you that I might find you fucking beautiful?"

"Stop," you whisper, because it's too much to take in. He sounds so serious, so sincere.

"No, I don't think I will."

He pulls back a little and cups your face. Brushes away a tear, looks at you with so much love that it physically hurts; you feel like it's a lance that slowly drives through your heart.

"How about I kiss every part I love about you?"

You let out a soft little whimper. Fuck, that you want him to…

It would also be uncomfortable as hell. To try and let him love you and your body, which you have grown to loathe.

"It's gonna take all night, though. Wanna be as thorough as possible."

"Simon–"

"Love. I want you. Thought I'd made it pretty clear, but apparently I haven't. If you only knew how much–"

He sighs deeply. The man is frustrated with his shortcomings, thinks that this is all his fault. You cry a tear or two just for the sake of how absurd it all is.

"I don't want you to go. I fucking love you. Everything about you."

For the second time this afternoon, your lower lip starts to tremble as if this was some stupid, romantic movie. He can be so soft when he wants to, more romantic than the soft-spoken gentlemen in Jane Austen's novels. It doesn't even require any effort: underneath the cynical surface, there's fiery emotion, so powerful and raw that it almost bleeds out of him. Fuck… Does he even know what he's doing to you?

"I love you too," you whisper back, and the warmth that starts to bloom in his eyes is an entire sun on its own. It's hope, and you believe him, almost believe him.

"Then I'd say it's a bloody bad idea to break up."

You chuckle while few more tears push through to the surface.

"Simon…" You sigh and look back up at him, your armor falling to the floor too. "I feel like a wreck."

You allow him to see the pain, all of it. His breath is sharp as it hits him, but he still doesn't waver.

"Then let me help you."

The arms around you gain more strength, and you're crushed against a chest made of power. He tries to turn shit to gold, and threatens to succeed. You allow yourself to soften in his hold. How good it feels to be supported – no, loved.

"You don't even let me touch you anymore."

It's a filed complaint, but also heart-rending, soul-wrenching longing. You have evaded him for weeks now – hell, this shit began months ago and has escalated gradually, stealthily, until the moments together were a rarity, the space between you was full of frost; and not the crispy, happy summer drink kind.

"I thought you'd found someone else. Could've found out if that was the case in minutes, but honestly, I didn't wanna know."

Oh my God…

Has he lived with a growing suspicion and dread all these months?

That would explain why he has avoided you too…

He has allowed you to go to your supposed lover, has given you space to be alone and without too much attention. The man has shielded himself from pain.

Jesus fucking Christ.

"I'm so sorry," you say with a strained little breath. "I swear it's nothing like that. I just… I feel like a mess."

"Never seen such a gorgeous mess."

He speaks on your skin, the kiss on your forehead feels like an absolution.

Then you notice it's not only his words which try to assure you. He's growing harder by the minute against your stomach, just from a simple hug. Just from being pressed against you like this, after weeks of dry, bitter longing.

"Miss your taste," he murmurs to your skin, his voice like sand wrapped in burning velvet. "The sounds you make when you want it hard."

Oh God–

"Miss your smile when we go to shower after."

"Hmh…"

"Don't wanna live without that smile."

You don't have to.

God, you don't have to…

"How about we make a deal," he draws fingers down your chin, coaxing you to look up at him. His eyes are stripped from the cold distance that greeted you just moments ago: now they are filled with warmth that spreads to your chest and belly and bones. You drink him in like summertide.

"You come to me every time you feel bad and I'll make you feel good. Alright?"

"...Ok."

He tilts his head a little to the side, not entirely satisfied with your shy little answer.

"Come on. Make me believe it."

"It's a deal," you say with more grit to it, even if you're nearly crying again, this time from relief.

"That's my girl."

Oh fuck…

He knows exactly what strings to pull, the good girl talk being one of the things that instantly makes your legs feel like jelly.

And why does he always have to use that voice when he calls you a good girl or his girl, that sultry smoke that makes you want to swoon until he catches you and carries you to bed?

The man seems to be a mind reader as well, because he sweeps you off your feet and does exactly that: carries you to your bed which has mainly seen silent tears and painful sleep last months.

"Poor thing doesn't even know how lovely she is."

He sounds amused in the face of your darkness: sees it in full and still doesn't fear at all. He's ready to battle your demons for you, and you feel like shaking: from his touch and that voice, from the stress and loneliness that starts to release as he lays you down on the bed.

He looks so different from the man that has haunted this place for the past months, the complete opposite of the reserved soldier retreating into the shadows.

He moves to kiss you, and it's been – what? Weeks since your last kiss? And even that was only a quick peck, nothing like this… Wet, and desperate; a devouring. It makes you clench around nothingness, and you finally surrender.

No one can fake such fervor.

You try to accept it: accept the fact that even if you hate yourself, he does not. For some reason, he adores you. His breaths hit your face hot and urgent, and he can't keep his hands to himself anymore. They wander over your waist and hips, they even risk to steal a feel of your breasts, and then he groans in your mouth.

"I've missed you. Fuck, I've missed you..."

You taste notes of burning leaves; tobacco, his only weakness. You fantasize on the thought that you might be another weakness, too.

"Remember when I fucked you in my office?"

"I've missed you too," you utter softly in between the kisses that threaten to turn into a sloppy mess. "So much..."

He smiles at that, and it makes you weak, even when lying down like this.

"Yeah…?"

"You were so loud I had to put a hand over your mouth."

His voice is thick as he laughs a short chuckle. Your inner walls clench again at the sound, you throb among the warm syrup surrounding you.

"Never seen you so wet. Almost dripped all over my gear."

"It's that stupid mask you wear," you hear yourself breathe like you've just been underwater. Feel yourself throb some more, feel a burning sensation in the nether areas from the scorched desert turning wet again. You want him so much that it actually hurts down there.

"Knew you'd like it. That's why I kept it on."

If this man keeps talking, your underwear is going to be utterly ruined. And of course he does; of course he continues to pour more love in your ear.

"Everyone looked at you like you were a queen," he grunts in your ear, sounding almost… pissed.

"Don't be ridiculous," you try to form sensible words. It's only a faint breath, really, but he huffs at your modesty.

"You don't have eyes in the back of your head, love."

Wow… He is a bit pissed.

Had they checked your ass out when you visited him?

It was the first and, what you thought, the last time you got to visit him at his workplace… but you never would have guessed the reason for him not asking you to visit again would be jealousy.

"Don't worry. I put those fuckers in their place after you left."

Whoa.

Ok…

First, he had fucked you senseless in his office – a highly inappropriate move for a man in his position – then got jealous because some soldiers had checked you out as you left with his cum practically dripping from your cunt.

You put yourself in his shoes for a moment: he's had to live with thoughts of you running to some other man's arms when he's not home, and then watch you waltz around his workplace after making what was supposed to be the last effort to make him love you… When he has loved and adored you this whole time, has watched the sway of your ass with the rest of those home-deprived, horny soldiers, thinking you had fallen out of love and were on your way to go see some other guy.

Had he invited you there to try and win you back, too? By showing himself to you in all his puffed up, masculine glory? A desperate man in a skull mask, hoping to get love from you…

There's so many misunderstandings; they rip your throat. A sob escapes, and he stops his caress.

"Love… Tell me to stop if you–"

"No. No, I don't want you to stop."

Your request comes out with such demand that he hesitates only a second or two. Then he moves on top of you and tugs your skirt up. You don't even have time to realize what is happening before he has worked himself out of his pants.

He's hard and heavy between your legs, and your eyes go wide as you realize he's not going to bother to take your briefs off. He just slides a hand under the skirt and draws the fabric aside, and the fat tip of him is pushed in the middle almost clumsily. It's hot, and slips down to your opening with ease.

Oh f–

"Been jerking off to you nearly every night at the base," he says just before he pushes himself in.

"Uh–...."

Your thighs spread wide as he fills you slowly, inch after inch. The sound that leaves him is starved: a dry, painful sigh. He's been waiting for this for god knows how long, and you're just as hungry to take him in. He seems endless, the way he finally works himself fully inside, spreading you even wider as the thickening base of his cock reaches its end.

"Thought you were getting railed by someone else while I only get to fuck my hand."

"Oh god…"

There's really nothing else to say as his balls press against you, heavy and taut. He's not going to last long.

"Yeah. Imagine that," he admits, breathless like you.

You look at him with what must be the most helpless stare of longing in your eyes. Then he moves, and you want to grip him to keep him inside. The first thrusts are divine, they're pure heaven, and your head sinks deep into the pillow as you try to get enough air, try to not scream from pleasure already. Somehow, all you are able to utter is a desperate little whisper.

"Simon–"

His cock is good enough to bring tears to your eyes. You're starving too, you're pulling him in with fierce hunger, and he groans, then nearly falls forward, his weight pressing against you, swallowing you, until you feel like you're an idiot for thinking that you're too big. The thickness of his chest rubs against you as he makes love to you with passion that echoes the first times you did this.

"Just wanna adore you, love." He's panting desperate somewhere above you. A god and a man, both furious and gentle. "I wanna adore you. Just like this."

You answer him with what must be those sounds he told you about, the sounds you make when you want it hard.

You want him to fuck you, to wreck you after weeks of loneliness and hate. To love you until you break into a million pieces.

"Simon," you whisper. "...Love me."

He halts, huffs in your neck. It's almost a sob. There's so much emotion and desperation in the air that it could be scooped up and sold in the streets.

"Always," he rasps in your ear, then moves to kiss you again. "Always."

The promise echoes around you, it coats your lips as he loves you with all he has. It's been so long, and he feels so good that you nails dig into his shirt, his shoulder, you try to hold onto him even though he's the wave that rocks you.

"You feel that?" He goes deep; he's out of breath and desperate, even more desperate than you. "That's love. You feel it, yeah?"

"Yes," you sob in his shoulder, tears trying to escape your waterline as you're going dumb from the pure sensation, the sensuality of it all.

"That's it, love. That's a good girl," he turns to your neck and gruffs in your ear as you whimper and moan. "Always such a good girl."

Shit…

"I, I'm gonna…"

Your legs wrap around his middle, your muscles twitch and your hands reach and grab – they claw and yank and tug everything they can: his back, shoulders, shirt, something sturdy to keep you from drowning in a glorious orgasm.

He laughs in your neck and continues to grind you through your climax even when you're shattering, sighing, moaning, writhing under him. He just laughs, the man who never laughs: from witnessing you respond to him calling you a good girl.

Fucking bastard…

Lovable, infuriating bastard who knows you to your core.

You're an overstimulated heap by the time he comes as well, not long after you, but long enough to make you feel like you're only a tender bunch of nerves. Your legs have fallen to the side, he has open access to take what he needs: you, your love, all of it.

His whole middle goes tense as he cums, he groans and swears somewhere deep into your neck, rolls his hips over and over again like it's a must that his balls press against you with every thrust that shoot his load.

Then he falls slack, nearly collapses on top of you, reminding you of what it feels like to be small under a giant like him. You're throbbing together, you're full and fulfilled, and he is still lodged deep inside you, panting and broken in a sweat.

"Jesus Christ…"

He sounds dazed.

Relieved.

"Should've done this weeks ago."

You laugh at seeing him so done – a man in love, torn by jealous yearning, finally taking what's his. You stroke his neck, his back – it's so good to have him finally there… So close, with no barriers in between.

"I should've talked to you weeks ago..."

"Yeah. You should have."

"Are you going to punish me?" You giggle a little – the flirt is light and frees your heart further from its recent jail. He moves to look at you with all the tenderness there is. It's too much... His love is too much. But you won't run from it anymore.

"Nah. Think I'm gonna spoil you some more."

He spoils you right away with a kiss. You surrender to his treatment with happiness: happy tears, even.

The medicine to your anguish has been the exact opposite to what you had first tried, what you had originally thought. The true remedy for your sickness is mercy. Perhaps some spoiling…

And love.

#simon ghost riley #simon riley smut #simon riley fluff #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost fluff #soft simon riley #simon riley imagine #ghost x you #simon riley x you #fluff and smut #call of duty

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mondaymelon · 6 months

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₊˚ෆ 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐄… | xiao, childe, scaramouche x gn!reader

⤷ art by @/Deltanpopo on twitter ! ❀

[ A coy thing, you are, daring to lie to them about your wellbeing. ]

— "I'm alright."

A scoff leaves XIAO's lips at your swift words, his mouth curling into a sneer, one absent of a smirk. His arms crossed over his chest, dark shadows cast over his eyes. "Come again?"

His glare was intense - dangerous, its malice not directed towards you, but instead to whatever had made you like... this. You could shield your form from his piercing gaze all you wanted. It'd do nothing to deter him. The knowledge he held of your character, the way your voice gave the slightest tremor, and the way your eyes slipped from his own... he let out a noise of annoyance.

"As I said, Xiao. I'm fine."

You were't a good liar. At least, from his knowing view. Unacceptable. His lashes fluttered as his eyes narrowed. Was he not reliable enough for the truth? Why was it that you'd refuse his assistance while you were clearly suffering?

"No." His voice was decisive, cold, but not in the manner of harsh, unforgiving ice, but the morning frost that bloomed on the dewy stalks of riverside reeds. "You aren't."

He felt your gaze pause at his lips, yet did not rise to meet his own. Your own mouth quivered, just the slightest, and you downcast eyes that glistened flicked their attention to the ground. "Xiao, I..."

You voice trails off. There's no need to say more. For you stood, enveloped in the adeptus' rare embrace, his pale skin cool, yet sparking an unquenchable warmth within your chest.

"If you aren't okay, that's okay. I'll just have to hold you in my arms, until you are." ₊˚ෆ

— "I'm alright."

A laugh escapes CHILDE's parted lips, a rather empty sound that resounded in your silence. It continues for a couple brief moments. "Ah, you're kidding, right?" He breaks into a smile that fades at the lack of your response. "Right?"

"Why would I be kidding?" You sighed, trying to sound as exasperated as possible. "I'm serious, Childe. I said I was fine." His gaze bore into you, to the point where you could feel your body smolder under his eyes. You shouldn't look at him now. Pursing your lips, you strengthened your resolve, but a moment of weakness upon hearing his shallow laughter was all it took to glance upwards. To meet his gaze.

A grave mistake, you had just unwittingly committed.

Before you could turn your head away, Childe's hand's caught you, one of them grabbing onto your chin and forcing your head to stay in place. "Say," his voice was low, quiet. A telltale sign of the anger that simmered underneath. "When did you get the notion that you'd be allowed to lie to me, and then get away with it scot-free, huh?"

The moment he had met your fleeting gaze, eyes locked onto yours, your verdict had been decided. Guilty. "Childe, it wasn't that I..."

"Oh, is it something you can't tell me, then?" His voice was softer now, but not in a threatening way, eyes melting with concern. Yes as much as he'd love to get at whatever - or whoever had made you so upset, he had a higher task of importance as of now. And that was to comfort the person before him, tentative under his touch. He slowly released his hold on your chin, instead giving your hair a ruffle that caused your locks to fly in disarray. "If so, then I won't push you anymore."

"I've... I've just had a really long day and-"

Your words lost their sound as instead, warmth replaced the quiet. Childe held you in his arms, delicately, like you were made of porcelain, and the slightest touch would shatter you. For someone as brash as him, to now stay silent, letting you let out all the world's concerns in his embrace...

"I won't say anything, alright? Just let it all out, and I'll listen." ₊˚ෆ

— "I'm alright."

At first, SCARAMOUCHE almost looks offended at your words. His brows are furrowed, and his eyes are drawn into a scowl. "What, care to repeat that? It's funny how you think you're fooling anyone."

It takes a moment to find your voice again, with how intense his eyes stare into you - indigo, flashing with electro power. Mesmerizing, dangerous, lethal if you drew too close. It didn't matter you supposed, you had already been in his reach for far longer than you cared to admit, and you had yet to be burnt away. "...I'm alright, nothing happened."

This time, your answer drew a startling laugh that bubbled from deep within him, a carnal yet almost melodious sound that flowed like water and blazed like flames. "Ah, that's funny. You've been hanging around the other Fatui, haven't you?" His gaze narrowed in distaste. "Disgusting, all of them. And from the likes of it, you've been picking up some nasty habits as well. Speaking nothing but the truth to me should be a given, yet you're saying such things without the slightest guilty conscience... I couldn't help but laugh!"

Guilty conscience my ass. Of course it took something out of you to lie to your.. lover. Yes, despite it all, Scaramouche was the one you were joined hands with - even in the male didn't act like it. Or perhaps he did, in a world of his own masked away in a guise behind a guise. His spark just drew you closer.

"Scara, you wouldn't understand...!" Don't get aggravated, keep your voice composed, steady. "It's... it's something personal, alright? I just.. I just don't want to talk about it right now. Give me time, please."

Please? His maniacal expression dimmed as he paused, just a brief moment. He hadn't hurt you, had he? No, you knew him well, well enough to know that that was just the person he was, didn't you? "...So it was like that?" He tried to hide his apologetic expression with a hand over the lower half of his face, but his eyes glistened regardless.

"Ah, just forget about it. If you're hurting, then... Come here, all right? I'll humor you, just for tonight." ₊˚ෆ

(a/n) okay okay so. i. im gonna try and post a fic every day this week. spoiler alert: its fucking exam week BUTBUT BUT im so close to a follower goal ive been wanting to reach and itd be so silly if we could hit it before new years!! that's why im gonna be listening to burnout playlists while typing away like my life depends on it.// wish me luck on my exams ahah. theyre tommorrow.

໒꒱ || ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ (open! send an ask or a comment ♡) : @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu, @achlysis, @swivy123, @scara-is-my-wife, @lupicalbestwolf, @justyoureader

-> teehee what if yall left a message on my christmas tree 😶😶😶

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ffsg0jo · 16 days

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tw: hurt/no comfort , chapter 261 spoilers , major character death -- inspired by @sttoru so please check their account out !!

i am taking requests and writing fics and matchups for gaza. check the linked post out to find out more !!

your shrieks could be heard echoing throughout the whole entire complex. everyone in the medical room pointedly refused to meet your gaze, knowing what had to be done. but you couldn't accept this as your reality. you wouldn't.

"please," you screamed, tears and snot running down your face, hair tangled and a complete mess.

you couldn't make anything out with your blurry eyes except the bloodied, stitched up figure laying on the table in the centre. the sight of your husband would haunt you for the rest of your life, image engraved into your eyelids.

"shoko, please, you can't do this to him, to either of them, please, please give him some decency." your hands grab the woman's as you plead and beg her. shoko only looks away, her eyes full of pity.

the exhaustion and dehydration catch up to you, and your body collapses into a bundle at her feet. your sobs only get louder as you grab at your best friends' ankles, gasping out a litany of "please shoko, don't." you couldn't breathe, the knot in your stomach pulling tighter and tighter.

she doesn't have it in her heart to look at you or push you away.

your sadness gives way to anger. anger towards the higher-ups. anger towards the fact that your husband couldn't even rest in peace after death. used as nothing but a weapon and tool in life and beyond death. anger towards the compliance of your peers and students.

you didn't care about the consequences. you just wanted your satoru back. would the child in your womb suffer the same way? you didn't even have the chance to tell satoru of their existence before the whole world turned upside down.

"he deserves to be buried," your shrill voice cut through the silence once more. you find the strength to stand up on shaky legs as you wipe the tears from your eyes. it's not long before they're filled once more, but you got a good look at everyone's solemn, teary faces. annoyance surges through your body.

"why is no one saying anything? this isn't humane, this isn't right."

"it's what he wanted," shoko responds, her voice small but unwavering. as though she was trying to convince herself what she was doing was right. her feelings could come later, but for now she needed to be strong.

you fall silent at her words, sniffing and trying to swallow back your sobs. of course he did. always the sacrificial lamb your satoru. never having a moment of peace except when he was in your arms, away from the monstrosity that was the sorcerer world.

"suguru would never have stood for this," the whisper of his name on your lips had shoko's head snapping to you. everyone else looking between you both nervously.

"suguru would never have allowed this to happen." you repeat, voice strengthening. you knew your best friend would've fought tooth and nail with you.

"you think i want to do this (name)?, i have no choice, it's our only chance!"

"you always have a choice, shoko. you always have one! yuuta's only 17, don't do this to him, please."

"and have him die?"

"death would be a mercy compared to whatever the fuck this is!"

shoko's words die on her lips. she knows you're right, but they both made their choices, and it was all for the greater good. she hated seeing you, her best friend, so hysterical. but her hands really were tied. shoko had to stay strong.

it's silent for a minute or two, save for your stifled sobs and sniffing. you could only stare at the lifeless body of your husband. even in death, he managed to look so ethereal and otherworldly.

you step towards his body, softly brushing the hair off his forehead. tears drip down onto his face, curving down the apples of satoru's cheek. he's cold to touch, so different from how he normally felt, always running hot. you kiss his cheeks, his nose, his eyelids. his lips.

your quivering lips try to breathe warmth back into him. instead, his coldness seeps through you. you turn your eyes to shoko once more. you've never felt so weak and helpless.

"i just want his body to mourn, shoko, please. i'm not asking for much, i just want his body to bury. i want his body to be his," your voice cracks as you speak. "he deserves that much at the very least, his child deserves that much."

you hear small gasps from the people around you, registering your words. a newfound sadness and bitterness settles deep into their bones.

"i- i can't (name), i'm sorry." tears start to fill shoko's eyes, and you know you're fighting a losing battle.

you withdraw yourself from his body, and you attempt to stand up straight. you gently lift his hand to press against your womb.

the child growing inside of you may never feel the warmth of their father's touch, but satoru's love transcended time and death. he was selfless in the way he gave everything to you and for his loved ones.

"wait for me satoru," you whisper, sofly rubbing his lifeless hand pressed against you with one hand and his icy, hardened cheek with the other. his coldness settled into your body, making you shiver uncontrollably. a fresh new wave of tears run down your face.

it was a privilege to have been able to love him and an even greater honour to mourn him. you would carry his love inside of you, deep within the marrow of your bones, for as long as you lived.

"wait for us, my love."

i am taking requests and writing fics and matchups for gaza. check the linked post out to find out more !!

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amysubmits · 7 months

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Owning Me Is Complicated

Occasionally I come across content that makes it seem like being a Dom is easy.

Order her around, make her do the things you don't want to do, do whatever you want, "win" all the disagreements because you're the dom - or even silence her from disagreeing with you to begin with. Get sex exactly how you want it, exactly when you want it. She's just a living, breathing object that can and will do whatever you want. She has no needs other than to make your life easier. She's your own personal robot, but with a body you want to fuck. Being a dom is like a regular relationship but without the emotional labor. I'm sure there are other gender versions out there too, but I see the M/f version most often. It's so funny to me how absurd that all is compared to real life.

Owning me is complicated. Owning me means doing way more emotional labor than a vanilla relationship would require, not less.

Yes, I do what he says - but he's responsible for making the best decisions he can. He's in charge, so keeping me physically and emotionally safe is his responsibility. It's a huge part of how he earns my submission. It's no small thing to make decisions when making them well is part of how he keeps me safe and keeps me open and trusting towards him. Yes, I'll try to push my sexual limits for him - but I have complex emotional needs that accompany physical intimacy. Use my body without having respect for my physical and mental health and it'll fall apart real quick. And once again, making a reckless decision here that would leave me damaged and could forever damage our dynamic. Sure, he can take his cock out anytime and instruct me to suck and I will, but that doesn't mean it's all fun and games. He has the burden of double and triple checking that he isn't pushing me too far, or taking too much as to leave me empty. Yes, he gets the final say in disagreements, but he earns that by hearing me out. He couldn't keep me submissive if he didn't respect my feelings. I can't feel respected if I'm not heard. So he has to hear me out and really listen. And then his job is to attempt to get the best outcome for both of us. He has to try to balance our needs, because if either of us gets neglected, we individually suffer and then the relationship suffers. So he sometimes deals with the weight of threading the needle between his needs and mine, his wants and mine. His shoulders carry the weight of those choices. Yes, he can deny my wishes - and even my needs for a time, if he chose. But I am human. How long can he deny me things that bring me pleasure before I start to feel unwanted, unloved, disrespected, thrown out? Resentment would set in eventually. Self-protection would kick in eventually...and it might be too late by then, the damage may be done by the time I would wake up to look around and decide I didn't want to live like this anymore. Why would he want to even find out, given that he loves me? He wouldn't. He has a sadistic streak, so he likes to deny me things I like so that I long for them even more for a while. He likes to see me eager, desperate to get it when he decides to give it. He likes to watch me tolerate discomfort for him. Playing with these ideas require a deep understanding of my needs and limits. He has to know where "desperate for you 🥺 " starts to fade and "That goblin in the back of my head is starting to worry I'm not valued" starts to enter my thoughts. Yes, I look to him to guide and lead, and he has a lot of power and control - but that comes with the ability to destroy and damage. There's nothing easy about ownership if you feel the weight of the responsibility you're carrying.

#writing #sccwriting #d/s #24/7 d/s

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shiplessoceans · 9 months

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Good Omens S2 Episode 6 confession scene speculation:

Aziraphale didn't respond to the love confession from Crowley because he didn't realise it was one until Crowley mentioned the Nightingale and kissed him.

Allow me to explain.

---

Aziraphale interrupted Crowley to give him the news from Metatron, so when Crowley starts his spiel:

"We've been together a long time, I could always rely on you...we're a group....we've spent our existence pretending we aren't...if Gabriel and Beelzebub can go off together then we can...we don't need heaven/hell they're toxic...you and me whatya say?"

Aziraphale interprets everything Crowley is saying as his rebuttal to the 'good news', not a separate declaration of his feelings.

What Aziraphale just told him shaped Crowley's confession, instead of finally telling Aziraphale how he feels about him, he's now backed into a corner and trying to change Aziraphales mind. Offering to run off with him as the alternative to the Metatron's offer.

The repetition of the phrase: "go off together" from the bandstand fight in season one feels very intentional here. It would be easy for Aziraphale to think 'this is just Crowley's response when the divine plan interferes, he always wants to run away'.

Aziraphale believes that he just needs to make Crowley understand the situation and opportunity that this is and everything will be alright:

"Come with me! To heaven, I can run it, you can be my second in command. We can make a difference!"

Crowley is looking defeated already, in his mind he's bared his soul and Aziraphale is a brick wall. So if he can't tempt the angel into staying with the love he has for him (which Crowley thinks he's declared but he really hasn't), he'll get him to change his mind by evoking something else he loves:

"You can't leave this bookshop."

Aziraphale scoffs fondly. 'Silly demon, you were just suggesting we run off together and abandon it only a moment ago!' He thinks Crowley is trying to 'work' him here and the old serpent might even be selflessly trying to spare the angel the loss of his beloved bookshop in order to restore Crowley and help the world, which would be just like him to be so covertly protective. So Aziraphale reassures him, a bookshop doesn't matter to him as much as Crowley and the world. It's just a collection of objects really. Humanity is more important. Crowley is far more important.

"Oh Crowley, nothing lasts forever."

Crowley is crushed. Nothing lasts forever. Not even the two of them. So he covers his sadness with his glasses, walls back up, and he tries to leave.

Aziraphale is baffled. He just reassured Crowley that he was alright with change if it means things could be better. Why is Crowley leaving? Is he worried that they won't spend time together anymore? That he won't have time for his friend as a supreme archangel?

"Crowley come back!....we can be together, angels!...I need you!"

Crowley can't even look at him in that moment. Why would Aziraphale say that? The two of them together only if he accepts heaven again? Conditional love? That's not fair. It hurts.

Aziraphale meanwhile is hurt by Crowley's turning away, his silence and a bit incensed at what he perceives as ingratitude. Aziraphale didn't really want to go back to heaven, but he'd do it if it meant Crowley could be happy and safe and Crowley doesn't seem to appreciate that:

"I don't think you understand what I'm offering you."

Crowley went through the fall. He asked the questions. Did his best to protect humanity and it has brought him nothing but suffering. He's well aware what's on offer. He's seen heavens cruelty and capriciousness firsthand and been burned by it repeatedly. How can Aziraphale choose them over him and still think everything will work out?

"I understand. I think I understand a whole lot better than you do."

Crowley loves Aziraphale's big foolish optimism and kind heart and he thinks it's the very thing taking the angel away from him. This isn't how it was supposed to go. It's all slipping away from him.

"Listen. You hear that?"

Aziraphale can't even keep up at this point.

This is what comes of thousands of years of 'not talking about it' and living under threat of holy retribution if they are discovered. They're talking past each other, having two different conversations. Obfuscation and code has become their communication medium by necessity and it's failing them.

It's frustrating Aziraphale that he can't get a grip on this conversation:

"I don't hear anything!"

And Crowley drops the bomb.

"That's the point. No Nightingale's."

Oh. Suddenly we're on the same page. You can see from Aziraphale's face that he understands to what Crowley's referring. The Nightingale in Berkely square. Angels dining at the Ritz...

"You idiot! We could have been... us."

Crowley's talking about the big unspoken thing between them. Their relationship, thousands of years of dancing around each other like binary stars gravitationally and inexorably drawn together over and over. The thing Aziraphale was beginning to be bold about, (dancing notwithstanding) before Metatron came along and distracted him.

And it seems to Aziraphale that gut-wrenchingly, Crowley is finally acknowledging their mutual love only to point out that it's gone. Lost. They could have finally been together, an us, but Aziraphale ruined it because he's an 'idiot'.

After being quietly in love with Crowley for years, for Aziraphale to have his offer to return to heaven together and his unspoken love rejected in one fell swoop is devastating.

Overcome, he begins to cry and turns away, not wanting Crowley to see how hurt he is.

Crowley for his part is desperate. He has to do something. Maybe Aziraphale doesn't understand what Crowley is offering him! One fabulous kiss and va-voom right?

In a final desperate act, he kisses Aziraphale. Tries for passionate. Tries to show him that he loves him and show him what they could be because his words clearly aren't working.

Aziraphale is shocked and angry. He wants to kiss Crowley of course. But not like this. Not as a taunt. Crowley just told him their chance is over so what else could this be but a final insult. A kiss to punish the angel. It's a cruelty he didn't believe Crowley capable of.

And despite how mean it is. It's also what Aziraphale has wanted for so long he can't help but melt into it for a brief moment. Allow himself to feel what it would have been like to be that close before losing it forever.

Then Crowley lets go and Aziraphale breaks away on a sob, feeling wounded. Hurt beyond words that Crowley would use his feelings against him like this, gutted to be losing the man he loves and not understanding why.

The worst part is that Aziraphale doesn't have it in him to hate Crowley, even if he thinks the kiss was a cruel gesture. He still loves him. So he gathers himself and does what Aziraphale does when someone hurts him.

He forgives.

"I forgive you."

I forgive you for rejecting my attempt to restore you and make you happy, I forgive you for rejecting God and heaven yet again, I forgive you for acknowledging our love and then rejecting it. I forgive you for kissing me, giving me a fleeting glimpse of what we could have been to each other. I love you and I forgive you all that.

Crowley is done. Breath knocked out of him on a last sigh. He tried. And the Angel forgave him yet again for something he never asked or wanted forgiveness for. He doesn't want to be penitent for loving Aziraphale. Shouldn't have to apologise or regret wanting them to be together.

"Don't bother."

Aziraphale looks surprised Crowley is leaving because he genuinely is. He can't understand how it's all gone so horribly wrong. He gasps, shocked and can't even call out to him to stop, come back.

He cries, touches his lips where Crowley had kissed him. Tries to gather himself and barely has 10 seconds before Metatron is back.

At the end of that scene:

Crowley thinks he confessed his love and Aziraphale chose heaven over him because he didn't want to stop being a demon.

Aziraphale thinks Crowley rejected heaven, then rejected Aziraphale and threw their love back in his face as a final unkindness.

Aziraphale leaves and goes to heaven anyway because in his mind he's already lost Crowley and there is nothing left to stay for. If he doesn't have Crowley he needs a new purpose and it's going to be saving the world. He'll convince himself of it. And he'll push that broken heart down and the pain will fade if he just smiles through it. It will be enough, to make heaven better. It has to be. Maybe if he proves that he can make a difference Crowley might see the error of his ways and speak to him again? Surely. Hopefully.

---

Both of them are hurt and confused and lost and oh dear hell I really feel for them.

#good omens meta #good omens 2 meta #good omens s2e6 #gos2 spoilers #good omens 2 #good omens 2 analysis #gos2 meta #ineffable #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #good omens spoilers #gos2

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lilmashae · 5 months

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s.jy x fem.reader | fingering (f.) · pet names · swearing | 18 + 🩶

you and jake laid together like every other night. however, this was different — you're laying with your back to him, which he hates. he'd just got home only a few hours ago — exhausted, and suffering from jet lag... so tired he barely noticed you, dropping his bags and walking straight into your bedroom.

it was a petty argument, if you could even consider it that. you were hurt, feeling totally disregarded by your boyfriend, but still you'll admit you were wrong — going as far as ignoring him for the rest of the day, and now.

it's killing him — jake can't stand the silence.

"y/n." it's a simple statement — one that makes you flinch, because it's the first time you've heard him speak since your quarrel. "y/n." jake repeats himself. he knows that you hear him, you're not asleep. he can clearly see you shuffling under the duvet every few minutes. "what?" you reply dryly, much more solemn than you usually would — not even bothering to turn around.

he simply scoffs, because there it is: another thing that he hates... your attitude — especially during petty fights like these when there's only one solution: he'll either have to fuck it out of you or try and talk — which in your current state of irritability, the first option's looking best.

"baby... m'sorry." his hands snaked around your waist, pulling you close. you tried turning your head to face him but he beat you to it, his head buried in your neck stopping you. "why're you upset, princess? without the yelling, tell me what's wrong..." as he was trailing hot kisses down your neck, your resentment began melting away. one of jake's hand fondled your chest, pulling and tugging at your nipples as the other slipped through the waist of your sleeping shorts, easily finding his way inside of your panties.

"fuck," you cursed under your breath. you weren't supposed to be this easy, but when it came to jake, you knew all self control was absent. "jake..."

"are you still mad, baby? 's why you wouldn't face me?" his fingers grazing your clit, making you shiver. the rings adorning his fingers were cold in contrast to your skin — burning up. "shit! i just..."

he slips a finger into your heat, creating a scissoring motion all too familiar to you. "hm? talk to me, baby." you can feel his bulge grinding into your ass, another one of his dexterous fingers finding its way inside your gummy walls. with each curling motion you think he's closer and closer to hitting that soft spot somewhere deep inside of you.

"fuck, jake... y-you just got home, and! ah, and didn't even look my, shit... look my way!" you managed to huff out. it was hard to concentrate with his fingers pumping inside of your heat. "hmmm..." he hummed against the soft of your neck, "you're right, m'sorry pretty girl... i should've paid attention to my baby, right?" jake mumbled into your skin, leaving small bites and wet kisses. "mhm..."

each plunging motion of his fingers drove you closer to the brink of cumming, his speed increasing. "such a good girl, mhm? 'so sweet, letting me fuck her on my fingers... even after i so mean," you were becoming impatient. the knot in your stomach was wrapping itself tightly around nothing, "shit... i can't, please, 'want to cum, jake."

he just smiled against your skin, "go ahead, i won't stop you, princess." and another hot kiss landed on your shoulder. after you came, jake's fingers left your sticky cunt feeling empty — bringing them to his lips, slick lathered around them as he stuck them inside his mouth and then into your own. "i'll give you all the attention you want, hm... sound good?" the idea sounded more than good.

you turned over to face him, "good." before placing a chaste kiss on his lips and falling asleep in his arms.

guidelines and disclaimers | my polls aren't working so i'm uploading this totally on whim 😭 hopefully it's enjoyed though !!! even though, it was sort of rushed and maybe confusing 🫶🏽

#lil-ma-shae #enhypen smut #sim jake smut #jake smut #enha hard hours #enha smut #jake x reader #enhypen x reader #poc!reader

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bitterchocoo · 1 month

Note

Can I request an romantic angst with Aventurine and Malleus (Male Reader)? Like Male Reader is turning into his Overblot form because he realizes he'll outlive Aventurine and trapping Penacony in the dreamscape.

Once Upon a Dream

Aventurine | M. Reader as Malleus Draconia [Twisted Wonderland]

----------

"You'll love me at once.... the way you did once upon a.. dream.."

----------

[Name] Draconia.. the crown prince.. of Briar Valley..

No one would have thought that someone like him... could have his eyes on someone from the IPC! How!? Some money grubbing asshole?! Has the prince gone mad!? He's obviously being used!?

Meanwhile on the IPC side, it's more of.. disbelief...

How? How could someone like him have none other than the crown prince of Briar Valley?? Him? Of all people??

But if one were to stop and look for just a moment... it's not what everyone originally thinks. The prince's lover.. is far from the "money grubbing asshole" people say he is. He's surprisingly charming, and has his way with words. One could see why the prince loved him so much.

Same thing could be said to the prince. People who once saw him as a cold and uncaring person was shock to see just how caring he can be.

Some would say, they're perfect for each other. They completed each other. They're the only ones who could see right past each others mask and saw the real, true version of themselves.

----------

A music box that plays an unknown melody. Its tune sounded unsettling yet also calming. Like a tune playing in a distant dream.

It intrigues him.

Such a unique way to invite someone..

And oh how happy he was to see his beloved in that place. His beloved who was also invited into this place where others would pay millions just to spend the night in.

Penacony.

"Ah! You Highness, I see that you're also invited? I thought they might have forgotten your invitation." Aventurine joked sarcastically. It's almost comedic with how [Name] always didn't receive an invitation where he is supposed to have one. It's like fate is messing with him.

[Name] can't help but chuckle at the joke. "Yes, I am indeed invited to this grand festival."

"Well that's good, it means you could enjoy a once in an Amber Era performance."

During his visit, the crown prince had met multiple people, they're so friendly and they didn't seem to fear him. How delightful! Accepting Penacony's invitation had got to be the best decision [Name] had ever made! Not to mention, meeting the famed Nameless too! If only he could share this moment with Lilia. Those rectangular things are just so hard to command! [Name] has full respect to people who know how to use such objects. Truly, they earned his respect.

And oh how happy he was that the Trailblazer wanted to spend some time with him exploring the dreamscape. This is truly more than he could ever wish for.

"Please let me go!"

Drip... drip.. drip..

"Is that you, Screwllum?"

Drip... drip.. drip... drip...

Those words...

Such desperation..

Such sorrow..

Isn't this a dreamscape? Then why are they suffering? Why the sadness? Why the sorrows? Why the desperation? Those people he helped Trailblazer save.. why are they so..

It wasn't until the Trailblazer explained it that he finally understood...

...

.....

...Have humans always been this fragile..? Have they always been this vulnerable to everything around them? To the point that it'll only take a single flick from someone like him and the flames of their lives extinguished?

The sight of that girl being killed by that thing... are humans truly that fragile? That a simple and clean injury caused them their lives?

Drip... drip.. drip... drip... drip..

...

"Aventurine!" The sight of his beloved walking like he had come out of a bar or a fight. It broke his heart with how distraught he is. His beloved.. how could this happen? Who did this? Why is his beloved like this?

[Name] glanced at Dr. Ratio, expecting an answer out of him. Only to be met by silence. His eyes narrowed in suspicion as doubt and uneasiness creeps within him. But that doesn't matter at the moment... what matters is his beloved. [Name] turned his head to face Aventurine as he looked at him with concern and loving eyes. "Aventurine, are you already? Can you stand properly? I can carry you if you like."

"It's nothing serious, [Name] just a killer headache, that's all." Aventurine says with his usual smile.

As far as [Name] recalls these things called "headaches" aren't usually this.. horrible.. has these headaches always been like this? Is immense pain what they all feel whenever these headaches happen?

"It's nothing really, I'll be fine! But if you excuse me.. I have some work to do.." Aventurine says before walking towards Aideen Park with a rather large bag. [Name] watches on as his beloved practically whimpers in pain, he can't help but feel saddened by the sight. Where is his usual energetic and happy beloved? Why did this have to happen? Who did this to him? Who dare lay a hand on the [Name] Draconia's beloved?!

Dr. Ratio seems to have noticed the other's distress as he let out a sigh before saying. "It's pitiful isn't it? But I suppose that's just how it is. One day we all will be like that too. Supposed you could say, he's preparing for that day."

...

...'we all will be like that too'..? What does the doctor mean by that..?

Looking at his surroundings, [Name] could see a few elderly people walking around the Golden Hour. They look tired and worn out, with wrinkles on their faces and those white hairs...

Is that what happens to humans when they age? If he recalls, Lilia had told him something about these before. But.. never would [Name] thought he'll see it for himself. This thing actually happens. Humans age and then they...

...will Aventurine face the same too?

Will he too grow old and tired? Will he need a cane to help him walk? Will he suffer from some sort of illness or fatigue? Will he..

The thought puts a pit on [Name]'s stomach.

He's going to outlive him. [Name] would continue to live while Aventurine...

----------

'A once in an Amber Era performance'..

Oh how true those words are.. How true those words are..

Standing behind the curtains of the Theme Park, Aventurine ready himself for his upcoming act. But as his hands touch the soft material of it, his guests seems to have found him first before he could say anything else. The ground shakes like a light earthquake. This wasn't his doing. This wasn't a part of the performance! What's going on?

As much as it spoils his plans... Aventurine has no choice but to deal with this situation first and who wouldn't make a better teammate than his friends from the Astral Express? Carefully walking towards the center stage of the Theme Park. They certainly didn't expect the Prince of Briar Valley to be there. What is he doing in a place like this? Deserted. Where he stands alone with only his thoughts accompanying him.

Turning around to face the crowd, he smiles at the sight of them. "Well well... what a glamorous party. The Astral Express... the Emanator.. and the IPC's ambassador.. everyone is here. Fufufu...!"

His usual deep and velvety voice sounded just as soft as always, but somehow for an unknown reason, that tone sounded ominous, sinister even. A chill went down Aventurine's spine. Never had he heard just a tone [Name] before..

"Aventurine.. I've been thinking about this. What should I give to you.. No, what should I give you all? And I finally got the answer."

"Please accept this... It's a gift from the bottom of my heart."

They all look uneasy. A gift? What is it for? For what occasion? A gift for everyone? What is this gift? Gathering his courage, Mr. Yang spoke up in a calm and nervous tone. "Gift? Your Highness... what are you thinking about?"

[Name] can't help but chuckle at those words. "Listen carefully, everyone! I've bestowed a wonderful gift for you all. There's no need to part ways and shed tears again. We shouldn't celebrate "the end" today, it's the "beginning"!"

"Fufu.. yes. All of you will be born again today." Raising a hand, [Name] channels his magic as he smiles sweetly at everyone. His usual friendly smile looks more sinister with every word that came out of his mouth.

"To a world without sorrow where you don't have to lose your family, friends.. everything!"

The fight is not easy. Far from it. Never would they think that they'll be fighting the Prince of Briar Valley. Fighting someone as skilled as him is a nightmare in itself, but they've survived for this long.. and it seems that [Name] had enough as he engulfed the surrounding area in flames.

"Back off, you fool.. why be afraid? Even though a wonderful future is waiting for you. Now give me your hand, fufufu... hahaha!" Channeling another spell, [Name] smiles warmly to welcome this new era. One without pain and suffering.

"Spinning wheel of fate, keep pulling the thread of disaster. As King of the Abyss, I shall bestow this upon you."

"Fae of Maleficence."

Drip... drip.. drip... drip... drip.. drip..

The bustling life of Penacony... had come to an abrupt stop.. to embrace another dreamscape. One with no danger.. a safe heven..

A place where they all can live happily as all of Penacony is engulfed in thick thorn walls. Like a cage. "Don't worry... there's nothing to be afraid of. If you surrender to sleep, a thousand years will go by in an instant." The Prince stated with confidence as he calmly walked through the stage of the Theme Park in his new form. A form that he had embraced to fulfill his wish and grant everyone this wonderful gift.

"You all will become the main character of a fairytale."

The tune of the music box he received.. it's such a nice calming tune, yet so ominous..

"I know you.. I walked with you once upon a dream.. I know you.. that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam.."

It's a tune no one couldn't possibly be mistaken. Like a lullaby. Maybe those who sent him such a thing.. has the Prince's heart in mind. As he sang a lullaby to help them have a pleasant and wonderful dream. Following the tune of his invitation to this.. place..

"And I know it's true, that visions are seldom what they seem.. but if I know you.. I know what you'll do... you'll love me at once..."

"The way you did once upon.. a... dream..."

#seme male reader #top male reader #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x male reader #hsr #hsr x reader #hsr x male reader #hsr aventurine #aventurine #aventurine x reader #aventurine x male reader #twisted wonderland #twst #malleus draconia #twst malleus #twisted wonderland malleus

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mvniro · 4 months

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. . . (🍷) ֶָ֢ 𔓘 DON'T BE NERVOUS. OH DEAR, YOU ARE FEVEROUS ; a nakahara chuuya fic.❞

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . if you like, like this fic, i need a one page essay why lol.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . tw ; fem!reader, virgin!reader, senior!chuuya, virgin!chuuya, badboy!chuuya, fluff, nsfw, virginity loss, first time, unprotected sex, messy kisses, biting, choking, clit rubbing, squirting and yeah, that's all i remember.

do people sleep at night to not be aware of the beauty which comes after the sunset as the time after sunrise had tired them out too much or is it because sleep is an absolute necessity for one?

but then again, both factors are true yet not everyone is fortunate enough to sleep for some suffer from insomnia or some may be spending a night they aren't accustomed to, finding themselves in a situation they may have never faced before in their lives.

you fall in the latter category as you follow chuuya into his apartment, his hand grabbing your wrist as he leads you inside the door before closing it and locking it.

your skin feels like it's igniting in desire and ecstacy, his touch still making the ground beneath your feet to disappear and making you feel like floating on thin air.

"you sure you gonna be okay with me sweetheart?" chuuya's voice reached your ears as he turned to face you while leaning on the door after locking it, an eyebrow raised as he showed some hesitance but you immediately nod, taking a step forwards so your knee could softly bump into his while you grab his wrists, squeezing them.

"yeah, i rather be with you then with my neighbor anyway. my parents don't have any problem as well . . do you?" you ask as you stare at him with an ounce of nervousness dancing in your pupils and chuuya immediately shook his head with a smile.

your eyes fell on his lips which curved up but the small bruise on the corner of his lip was hard to avoid. yet you didn't ask him about its origin the first time your eyes fell on it and didn't plan on doing now as well, had it not been for him noticing your stare.

"it's nothing sweetheart. just a small scratch from a fight." chuuya tried to reassure you as he raised his hands which you were holding before placing your hands around his neck. his hands immediately went to encircle around your waist as he lifted you on your tiptoes a bit.

"why did you get into a fight?" you make sure to ask calmly so it would not come of as negative or offensive to the man you love and he hummed, making you walk backwards so he could lead you to his living room.

"couldn't help it, a guy was talking shit about you." he does not try to hide the truth, grinning mischievously before making you plop down on the sofa and looking down at you, "and i really can't tolerate anyone speaking shit about my sweet girl."

"so you punch the person?" you tease as you crane your neck to watch him take your bag to his bedroom before returning to sit next to you and he nodded, quite proudly too. "i do exactly that."

chuuya scooted a bit closer to you before laying his head on your shoulder and staring up at you, taking your hand to place it on his thigh, you squeezed it making him close his eyes and breath through his nose in pleasure.

"do you still talk to that bastard?" chuuya asked after a few seconds of a very comfortable silence but his voice only adds more to the comfort you are feeling so you nod while you lean back against the couch more but your answer makes him frown.

"why?"

"because he is my senior? he will tell the professor i'm ignoring him and being disrespectful. i don't want my professors to think bad of me by knowing i ignore a senior." you tell as your eyes fall down on his face to see him pout up as if you said the most unacceptable thing to him and maybe you did, the thought makes you smile.

"i am your senior too sweetheart but i would never snitch on my junior like that." chuuya muttered, taking your other hand in his as he carassed the back of your palm with his thumb.

"that's because his entire role is to guide me and give me tips and stuff as a senior who gave this exam last year, so it really won't be ideal for me to ignore him chu." you tell as you chuckled at finding the older man acting so sulky to be adorable yet equally humorous.

"boo, that's stupid. nerd." chuuya playfully scoffed, a smile on his face to let you know he only meant this in a humorous fashion and not seriously and you play along, pressing the pad of your thumb against the small bruise on the corner of his lip and he hissed, exaggerating his pain.

"don't do that!" he playfully frowned as he scooted away from you and placed his hand over his mouth to protect it from you, playfully glaring at you, "for this, you'll sleep on this couch tonight."

"no, i won't." you deny as you smile cockily and chuuya nodded to argue against your claim.

"nah uh." you tell again as you scoot near him and lay your head on his lap, "if i sleep on the couch, you sleep next to me too."

"no i won't, i'll sleep in my room and on my very comfortable bed." chuuya smirked though it disappeared as quickly as it appeared when you lifted his white t-shirt to reveal his stomach, the sight of the faint abs he has still making you as flustered as the first time but you push against your shyness to press your lips against his skin, leaving small kisses everywhere on his exposed skin.

"stop it sweetheart." he grits his teeth as he tries not to let his unstable breathing come to your attention and let you know how much he is enjoying the feathery touch of your lips on his skin.

"i don't want to." you mutter as you part your lips to let your tongue out, kitty licking his skin and the sudden cold and wet feeling of your tongue on his skin had him letting his head fall back against the back of the couch, his back arching slightly as he once again tries to make you back away.

"i am being serious sweetheart, stop it." his voice is low and husky as he raised his head, running a hand through his head as he stared down at you but he did not make a move until your fingers brushed past his crotch and even the slightest touch from you made him react as his thighs twitched.

"why don't you listen to me?" chuuya hissed as he grabbed your jaw and pulled you up. your balance became unstable due to this and to stabilize yourself, you placed your arms against his chest and chuuya only hissed more as your palms were pressed against his chest.

"do you not know how vulnerable you are right now against me? all alone with me, in my apartment, hm?" the attractive hum which left his lips had a great effect on you as you gulped, flinching a bit when his warm hands grabbed your hip to move and place you on his thigh and you bite your lip, feeling shy under his intense gaze so you close your eyes.

"you assured my father you'll keep me safe so i don't think you'll do anything to me." your voice is trembling as you speak and chuuya snickered at your naive words before he pulled your jaw to pull you closer, getting really close to your lips as he whispered and every time he parted his lips to talk, they brushed against yours.

"let's see if you still think so once i'm done leaving my bites and marks on you. have fun explaining to your father how you got them, okay? that or you stop being a brat right now." chuuya proposed but it wasn't really a proposal as he gave you only one choice, the other being a dirty fantasy but you both know it's too risky to make it into a reality.

you felt goosebumps rising on your forearms and nape as you knew his eyes were still staring and taking in your features but you did not open your eyes, your ability to make eye contact weakening whenever it's his pupils in which you have to stare at, so you surrender as you are aware of the arousal pumping through your veins yet you do not act on it due to the fear of being seen as desperate or ruining the smooth course in which things are playing by now.

"sorry chu." your voice is just as shaky as your breathing is and chuuya gulped at this tone which made butterflies to swarm his stomach and lower abdomen, the temptation of doing anything to you in the security of his apartment is strong yet not strong enough to overthrow his rationality. he only pushes his head a bit forwards and parted his lips a bit to let his hot breath hit against your lips, the action and feeling of the sudden change of temperature on your lips making your lips twitch which made it brush against his, making him breath out shakily like you.

"there it is, good girl." chuuya praises you and his own eyes nearly closed at how sensitive he is feeling with every brush of his lips against yours and he knew of his body and what it is feeling right now, this is why he pulled his head back and didn't kiss you because he knew of what his one action would lead him to do.

once his hand leaves your jaw, you open your eyes and immediately get off his lap to hide your own growing arousal as you look at him nervously and offer him a shaky smile which he mirrored.

"i'm gonna change into something more comfortable . . ." you trail off as your eyes followed his hand which he raised to scratch his cheek and he looked at you after hearing your words, raising his eyebrows in amusement as he seemed to get over his state quicker than you even if if was a mask of pretence to make sure you did not feel uncomfortable.

"who told you that you can do so? should you not ask me for permission first since you are in my house." chuuya grinned and watched you walk towards his bedroom, knowing his apartment very well due to visiting a few times prior.

"you may not know this but the moment i came here after the third time -- your apartment automatically became mine so basically i am walking in my apartment right now and so, i don't need your permission for everything." you teasingly tell while walking towards his room with the bag you brought which contained all your necessities. a smile made its way on your lips when you heard the melodious sound of chuuya cackling before he seemed to realise something and stood up, jogging towards you.

"fine, since you wanna act as if everything i own belongs to you -- why don't you wear my shirt to sleep?" chuuya proposed a bit too excitedly then what he would've liked to express but you only smiled and nodded, making him feel thankful as he looked straight with a very faint blush on his cheeks as he already pictured you in his clothes.

when chuuya opened the door to his bedroom, the cold surface of the door brought him back to life and made him to stop thinking about you in a way he won't feel proud to say out loud, he looked at you over his shoulder to see how you patiently waited for him to enter his room in case he needed a very short moment of inspection to approve of the state of his room, you smiled a bit at him and chuuya gulped, looking forward again and scolding himself mentally to think of something so perverted which he wanted to do to you.

your palms felt sweaty as you silently sat on his bed while he rummaged through his closet for the article of clothing he wore many times and thought just as many times of how you would look in it. you've been to his room before but this is the first time to be here this late at night and so, the bedsheets feel more colder then they normally do.

you grip them in an attempt to stop your palms from getting so sweaty and looked at front to stare at chuuya after taking in his dark interior and aesthetic of his room again and when you did, you bit your lip at the sight of his back muscles flexing.

chuuya isn't muscular but rather lean yet one could still see the results of his daily workouts and practicing martial arts since a young age when he does something which makes his firm muscles or abs flex.

as he leaned to find the t-shirt he wants you to wear, you notice his hoodie riding up to reveal his back, you never thought of yourself to be so perverted to get affected by such simple and normal display of skin yet here you are, body feeling unbearably hot at the sight of the flawless skin.

chuuya muttered a cheer as he stood up straight and turned to look at you, tossing the t-shirt at your face. you tut in disapproval as you grab the t-shirt and look down at it to see it being a black colored one which doesn't really surprise you considering his overall aesthetic.

chuuya bit his lip while he stared at how you opened the t-shirt and placed it against your chest to see if it'll fit you or not and he smiled when you looked up with raised eyebrows, the gesture being enough to tell him of what your question is ; why is the t-shirt so oversized?

"it's convenient." he muttered with a boyish grin, closing the closet doors without looking back yet the moment he does so, you are able to look at your flustured reflection as they have full length mirrors attached to them.

you do not think twice about his words before nodding, making him satisfied. he walked towards the bed to which you gripped the sheets hardly and watched him pick a pillow, you understood his actions and quickly spoke to stop him,

"are you going to sleep on the couch? don't." you breath out once you realize how desperate your words sound yet you can't do anything to take them nor do you want to, you focus your eyes on him to see him smile yet it doesn't contain any arrogance or playfulness, no, it's pure and simple. as if it were your words or the tone you requested in that made his lips curve up.

"why? won't that be ideal?" chuuya uttered softly while his voice remained void of any kind of teasing or cocky tone, not even seduction dripped from his tone except for pure softness, giving even him a soft look on his face.

". . . weren't you the one who said this is your apartment and so it won't be good for you, the owner, to sleep outside on the couch in the living room." you found yourself rambling quickly as you wish for him to believe your excuse which sounds dumb and pathetic even to you, your ears felt like being on fire due to how desperate you are sounding by asking him to stay but chuuya decided to be generous today and so, he only raised his eyebrow to ask you to elaborate more on your words.

or perhaps he found himself enjoying the garden of pleasurable affection he is in, any and every signs of lust is no where to be seen for atleast miles right now.

and nakahara chuuya, the man who always gave and never even thought of receiving, found himself being showered by the raindrops of your care and affection.

show the hopeless a solid hope and watch them cling onto you for more hope and show nakahara chuuya genuine care and he will look at you as if you are the one who hung the stars and moon in the night sky, as if you are an entity.

which to him, you are for who could even love this man who doesn't see anything worth loving in himself if he isn't wearing the mask of attraction and mischief which usually gets people to swoon over him?

". . . it's really important for you to sleep on the same bed as me or it'll be dangerous." you continue to sink deeper into this pit of a terrible excuse your desperation caused you to dig and chuuya chuckled, covering his face with his hand to stop you from seeing the dumb smile growing on his face.

"why dangerous?" chuuya asked as he ran a hand through his hair and although he still wanted you to try your best to convince him, he placed the pillow back in its place.

"well for starters . . . . i need you to sleep next to me so i can feel protected?" you blink as you ponder on your words but when you look at the reappearing cocky grin on chuuya's face, you felt your entire body burning in embarrassment and so you grab the nearest object your hands could find -- his t-shirt, and you throw it at him. "fuck off, nevermind."

so you said yet why are you laying beside him with a mind running wild with thoughts but a heart running even wilder?

you turn to your side to immediately face him who is already staring at you and from the way he is biting his lips, you know he is at the same crisis as you and is not able to sleep due to the overbearing heat from the other's body and ones own sensitivity as this is a first time experience for you both.

chuuya's eyes racked down to admire the way his t-shirt is just as big on you as it is on him but for some reason, you look way appealing in it to the point he is considering giving it to you forever, his eyes then went lower to see the t-shirt ending at your midthigh after which your bare legs were at the mercy of his eyes and intentions but he wanted to see more even if he looked away with a blush the first time you stepped out of the bathroom after changing.

chuuya looked at you as he raised his hand to place it on your covered hip and what you immediately notice are how warm his hands are even now despite the room being cool to such an extent that you two are under blankets (mostly him since you have your blanket only covering a quarter of your body) --separate blankets to your displeasure, so you make the first move.

". . . . it's cold, isn't it? why --" you paused upon suddenly feeling shy and embarrassed before looking down at chuuya's loose grey sweatshirt and you try to speak again once you find yourself not getting hot under his gaze, "-- why don't you come a bit near me?"

you raised your eyes again to see a giddy smile spreading on chuuya's face as a low hum reverberated through the chest and throat, your heart began beating in excitement and you nearly shivered when chuuya discarded his blanket and leaned on his elbow as he leaned over you to grab your blanket and cover both you and him with it. he inched closer to you and when his knee barely touched yours, your breath hitched as if you are afraid of letting it out and ruining this adulterous silence between you two.

chuuya's leg forced its way between both of yours as the hand on your hip inched towards your butt to push it, making you move just the tiniest bit closer to him and the smile on his face reappeared as he whispered, "is this better?"

his hot breath hits your cheek bone due to him laying on the same pillow as you to be extremely close to you and you found it hard to speak or rather feared speaking due to what the situation could lead to once the words who are the prisoners of the brain and heart, finds leeway through your parted lips, and so you shook your head.

chuuya pouted a bit at the lack of your voice which feels like cool to his ears like how coolness feels to a feverish body but he does not voice out his desire. rather, his hand crawls back up to your hip and he pushes the t-shirt up to feel your boots shorts and to push it upwards as well before he finally has your bare skin beneath his palm.

"what can i do to make you feel warm sweetheart?" chuuya asked and maybe it's the lump of arousal in his throat that is making his voice to come out sounding so low and raspy but you can not look away from the effects it has in the form of goosebumps on your skin.

"maybe rub my bo-body?" as a contrast to his, your voice is shaky and breathless and your words are spiraling in your mind due to your focus being completely on his hand caressing your hip and this is why you stumbled upon your words in the end.

you bite your lip when you see a small yet cocky smirk appearing on his face as his arrogant nature returns when he saw the effect he is having on you by a simple yet intimate touch. his arrogance now serving as a motivation for him to continue with his action and so he does by moving his hand up towards your waist and under the t-shirt.

"you sure? you've been eyeing me awfully a lot today." chuuya makes it known to you that he had noticed your behavior from earlier and you nearly whimper as you try to turn around but his hand and leg between both of your's stop your mobility, his knee presses down on your inner thigh and it had you gulping as you felt yourself grow needier and needier the more he pressed his knee down to ensure you won't turn around. this action of his is making you face your arousal that you were trying to ignore as you wondered if only you are the one in such a state for he looks way more composed than you if he is as well.

"you were imagining it." you mutter in such a quiet tone that for a moment even you doubted if he heard you or not but when he moved his knee a bit upwards, you knew he did. your chest rises up and down a bit and chuuya looked down with a knowing smirk before looking up at you again but he does not comment, rather, he lowered his body and leaned near you, grabbing your throat to push your face up towards his as he whispered right against your lips which made you shudder, "yeah? am i now?"

you did not have time to reply and neither the ability when chuuya pressed his lips against your's, greedily moving them and forcing you to keep up with his clumsy pace. your hands reached up to grab his shoulders as you tried to push yourself up to be able to kiss him better but he digged his knee deeper into your thigh while his hand, instead, moved upwards and towards your back as he tried to find your bra strap and open it with ease.

his desperation for the same mutual release and feelings as you is made quite clear by his rushed and desperate moments. once your bra strap was unclipped, chuuya pulled his hand out of your t-shirt and grabbed one of your wrists to pull your hand down towards his legs.

you closed your eyes as chuuya parted his legs a bit to place your hand between his thighs before he closed his thighs around it and after that, he immediately pulled back from the kiss but did not move his head back, he tilted his head to have his lips against your cheek and muttured, "am i also imagining this?"

he taunted and kissed your cheek once, twice, thrice while he kept on tightening his thighs around your hand in a very cruel way to get you to go over the edge.

your eyes fluttered open and you looked at him with a rushed breathing pattern and shook your head to which he immediately released your hand, smirking again as he pecked your cheek again before he turned around as if you did not see the pink on his cheeks and his half lidded eyes or as if he did not open your bra up.

you stared at his back which mocked you and you looked down, slowly bringing a hand down between your thighs to touch your cunt and when you felt the sticky wetness through the cloth, you know you can not ignore the burning ignition inside your veins any longer for there is now physical evidence to make it clear that even if you wanted to distract yourself from these thoughts and engage in an act of harmless sleeping and perhaps cuddling with your boyfriend, you cannot.

so you try to bring it to his attention as you moved closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist which brought a smile to chuuya's face. said smile disappeared immediately as he realized one of your hand creeped under his sweatshirt and to a contrast to his warm hands, your's are cool.

chuuya bites on his tongue when your hand traces over his back and slither towards his shoulder blades between which you apply pressure at. he groans at the soothing sensation on his tensed muscles and looked down at your other hand wrapped around his stomach. he placed his own warm hand over your own and squeezed it to let you know of his silent appreciation and gratitude to you and this gesture of your's which he found very caring and adorable.

but he soon found out your real intentions when the hand under his wiggled out of his grip and he smiled upon finding your actions to be utterly adorable ; then the hand went under his sweatshirt and he let out a breathy snigger as he realised your true intentions when you began to rub your thumb over his stomach, trying to find the sensitive spot from earlier to tease him.

"sweetheart, are you not sleepy yet? should i tire you out?" he talked knowing you got the implications of his words when he noticed you inhale shakily, he knew his low tone had many and quick effects on you when he felt your legs move behind him to clench them, he assumed.

"what do you mean chu? i am just trying to warm up." you knew your excuse is not believable at all for your tone is breathy and shaky, making your voice sound a lot as if you are whining and it had effects on him when your voice cracked in between your words and his shoulders tensed.

"i know of a better and more fun way to warm you up." chuuya whispered as his hand also went under his shirt to try and find your's, he firmly squeezed your hand under his when he does and the silence formed due to your absence of a reply only urged him to continue with his elaboration.

"it requires your back to be pressed against my chest and . . ." he raised your hand through under his shirt and towards his lips as he kissed your fingertips, ". . . my hands all over your chest."

to put emphasis on his words, chuuya guided your hand down his chest and he smirked at how your palms got slighty sweaty before he continued with his relentless torture using a double edged sword as the more he teased and tried to rile you up, the more he did as well.

"i don't think that much is enough to keep me warm though." you quietly mumble for only him to hear your voice of boldness pushing past the shyness you usually display as you raised his shirt towards his shoulders and you placed a kiss on one of his shoulder blades.

his breath hitched in such a shaky way that even he realised how clear it is to realise how the kiss affected him and how unused he is to actions so intimate.

"y-yeah? . . . then i guess i'll just cover your hands to keep you warm." chuuya sighed through his nose at the way he is acting so nervous because your little kisses all over his shoulders aren't stopping for even once, you only hum against his skin.

chuuya licked his bottom lip which he was fooled by his nervous brain into thinking is dry, guiding your hand down his stomach and under the waistband of his sweatpants, ". . . is this better?"

chuuya whispered out as he teasingly trailed your hand (by guiding your wrist) up and down his clothed cock and he could feel the way your hand stiffened up, a victory for him to feed his childish desire to get you equally if not more flustured than he is.

but once chuuya felt your now warm hand (due to his gripping your's tightly) hovering above his dick, he felt his reasoning and self control jumping down the cliff and into the sea of lust as the waves hit against what is remaining of said cliff and trying to break it.

". . . please chuuya?" chuuya was snapped out of his dilemma when he heard your shaky voice and he raised his head, looking at you over his shoulder to stare at you and let the cool realization settle on his otherwise hot body, as he stared at you to see you biting your lip and legs clenched tightly together to the point where even a third party could step in right now and could guess with a glance that you are turned on and chuuya truly pondered on how did he not realize this sooner, was he that invested in fighting off his own urges to not notice yours?

". . . please w-what sweetheart?" to fight lust is different when you've once submitted to it and it's different to fight it when it wants you to submit to it. you and chuuya fall into the latter category and so this is why his voice has lost the element of stability and composition it usually contains for all chuuya could focus on now is how arousal is ticking him and making his brain fry.

you parted your lips to reply but chuuya could see how instead of words, a whimper left your lips and you looked down, lips once again coming in contact with his shoulder and he almost cursed under his breath.

"i asked you something sweetheart, be good and reply." chuuya's tone suddenly turned firm as he still seemed to have some kind of control over his emotions and feeling still, but you didn't. and thus, upon hearing his firm tone, you felt yourself dripping between your legs and the burn and urge to have chuuya in between your legs, rummaging into you, got stronger and held you hostage.

"please . . . i want you in me." you whispered out pleadingly and the cliff of resistance on which chuuya stood, crumbled into pieces and as each small piece fell into the water, the water splashed up and hitted against chuuya's face, further edging him to go insane and to give in to his desires and temptations.

and so, he did when chuuya made you grab his semi hard clothed dick and made you move your palm up and down while he too grinded against the flat of your palm, his head dropped on the pillow as he let out sharp gasps and hisses at the sensation.

the lewd yet somewhat quiet sounds made you to cross your legs against each other tighter as you let out shallow breaths, feeling the heat consume your body in a rapid pace and if you don't get to release it soon, you feel like you'll be paralyzed but these kind of thoughts disappeared once you felt chuuya's dick hardening under your palm.

said man turned to face you and you never felt so disgusted by your thoughts as you do now when you saw sweat pooling on his forehead and your first thought is to wonder how it would feel like to lick it but the rationality which poked and wondered the reason behind these vile thoughts were forgotten when chuuya leaned forwards to push his head under your shirt, pulling down on your bra and tossing it somewhere on the floor, he rubbed his forehead against one of your breasts to rub off the sweat. you gulped.

"you are asking me for something very risky right now, sweetheart." the proximity, the intensity and the decendence to the sea of lust has an impact on chuuya in every way available and it was showing with the way he has no control over his own voice as his words came out with a growl.

but he did not let you talk, no. it's more as if you didn't dare to talk in the presence of the one you are deeming as an entity for how can a mere man look so ethereal in the midst of the night sky with only the moonlight falling on his face?

it is then and there that you wondered if this is a desperate attempt of the moon to touch and caress chuuya's face, as if even the celestial body could not come in terms with the fact that such a man who looks so exquisite wields the power and authority to make another human, you, grow speechless.

your body doesn't. your hands slowly grab the edge of your shirt as you try to pull it up as much as you can in this position where you are laying on your side ; as a silent approval of consent but chuuya preferred verbal confirmation in situations which you would be facing for the first time.

"are you sure?" chuuya doesn't look up but speaks against the fat of your breast and you hum out, looking down with eyes glazed with lust, your core throbs painfully when chuuya had raised his eyes to stare up at you like a tiger eyeing it's prey before pouncing on it.

"yeah, please." you nod but even these two words which would've been like water flowing in any other moment, required you to use most of your energy right now.

chuuya pushed himself up as he sat on the bed and looked at you, he wondered for a moment but when he looked down at your needy state and his own neediness growing, he knew he will not be able to walk out of this situation any longer.

so with a sigh that did very little to hide the excited smile growing on his face, chuuya tapped his thigh to let you know that he wants you to sit on it and when you raise yourself on your knees, you felt them getting shaky as you see chuuya run a hand through his hair and grip the roots as he wetted his bottom lip.

your one moment of hesitance led to chuuya grabbing your throat gently yet still tight enough to stimulate the exact emotion he wanted you to feel and pull you on his lap ; the moment the tip of his index and middle finger pressed down at the sides of your neck as he chocked you was when your eyes almost rolled back, this action of his being one you are very familiar with but not this strength he is excreting right now to make this moment sensual.

as a result of your feelings being skyrocketed due to this one move alone, you are not sober enough to grasp your stability and so, your hands land on his stomach, on top of his abs as you use his abs as a wall or pillar to maintain your bodyweight and not fall on him while he pulled down on your shorts before letting you sit on his thigh, you could see him carelessly tossing your shorts on the floor through your peripheral vision.

chuuya looked at you and smiled fondly when he saw you gulping as you look away from him, your inability to make eye contact with him has always been amusing and adorable to him and often is what he will use to tease you but right now, he remained quiet as he turned a bit to grab the bottle of cold water he usually keeps on his nightstand.

chuuya unscrewed the lid and offered the bottle to you and without any words being exchanged, you did what he wanted you to as you grabbed the neck of the bottle and brought it towards your parted lip to drink the chilled water contained inside. as the cold liquid flowed down your throat, it didn't satiate your needs or anything but helped you to be a little less bothered and a bit more composed than earlier.

"listen to me now sweetheart. now that you aren't that bothered anymore, take a few seconds to think if you really want to do this okay?" chuuya told as he took the bottle from you and screwed the lid on again and when he placed the bottle on the nightstand again, you felt yourself finding it hard to breath properly at the veins on his hands becoming more prominent when he streched his hand yet you obeyed chuuya as you thought and listed off all the pros and cons of what would happen if you would let the night continue in the path it is going in now.

yet it really isn't much of a surprise to either of you when you moved your hips on his thigh to feel some friction soon -- a silent response that your answer remains the same as the first time.

chuuya bit his bottom lip upon feeling the outline of your cunt through your panties and just how soaking wet you were but he wasn't rash, he gently grabbed your hips to stop you from grinding against his thigh to speak,

"you tell me if it hurts you or if you feel even the slightest discomfort or fear, okay?" chuuya lowly yet seriously instructed you and when you nodded, he rewarded you by slowly moving your hips back and forth on his thigh once before he paused again to continue,

"sweetie, listen to me. you know that i won't be angry or upset if you tell no, right? i don't want you to do something in the heat of the moment and then regret it later. so i will ask again sweetheart, are you sure you want this?"

"yes! . . . please?" you whisper out and chuuya sighed in what seemed to the moon as utter fondness. chuuya nodded, satisfied as he leaned forwards to capture your lips against his again.

and the moon grew shy and asked a cloud to cover its vicinity when chuuya licked your bottom lip to ask you to part your lips for him, his one hand leaving your hip to slide into your panties as he traced around to find your clit, being equally inexperienced as you.

a cloud covered the moon and blocked the moonlight from reaching the bedroom, your own hand slided inside your panties as you grabbed his hand and guided him to your clit. chuuya's tongue entered your mouth and teased your own tongue as he flicked and licked it, he pressed his lips harder against your's when you let out a whimper when his thumb began to rub your bud in a circular motion.

seeing as how chuuya played with your clit and rubbed it, you saw no more use of your hand so you pulled it out of your panties, rather holding his shoulder as you try to remain stable while he tilted his head to have a better angle to get access to your mouth, his lips around your tongue.

your eyes opened in a flash as you let out a loud yet muffled moan when chuuya pressed down on your clit before he began to rub it again, quickly and you closed your eyes again. you never thought that the mere action of stimulation could be so pleasurable that it would literally make you want to melt into a puddle.

you have masturbated but it never felt as good as when chuuya is doing it for you and maybe it's him who is making this entire experience more hotter or his wet kisses which now trail down your jaw and towards your collarbone that is making you extra sensitive to his finger.

chuuya pulled back before he could reach your throat and looked at your blissful expression, ordering lowly, "sweetheart. take your shirt off or i'll tear it."

you wondered if he was aware of how your cunt throbbed at his words and you quickly obeyed, grabbing the edges of the t-shirt and pulling it over your head. the action causes your breasts to jiggle a bit and chuuya groaned at the sight before he immediately attached his lips to one of your nipples.

the immediate feeling of his wet tongue and the cold temperature of the room made your nipples perk and chuuya took advantage of this as he sucked on one.

"chu- pleas -- ah!" you moaned out as your body leaned forwards on chuuya's when you felt the unexpected orgasm coming out of you, the small act of nipple play being the trigger for this sudden orgasm as well as the sensitivity in your inexperienced body.

yet chuuya's lips didn't abandon your breast even when you leaned forwards on him, he just grabbed your waist with one hand to keep you secure and his thumb continued to rub on your clit till your rapid breaths slowed down.

you weakly grabbed his biceps and pushed yourself to sit properly on his thigh again as you looked at him who finally separated himself from your breast, his hand which was inside your panties moved towards your labia as he tried to gather some of your wetness on the pad of his thumb.

chuuya pulled his hand out of your panties and brought it towards your other breast which he was not able to shower with his attention to rub his wet thumb against your nipple, he pressed on your nipple and dragged his finger across your areola. the slick which covered your nipple and most of your areola is a sight chuuya will remember for many nights to come as he found this sight which is a result of his actions to be a turn on.

"chuu . . . won't you do anything to me?" you whisper out as you are afraid to speak loudly and ruin this tranquility but chuuya had always preferred your voice along this tranquil atmosphere to be more soothing than the former alone anyway.

"what do you want me to do sweetheart?" chuuya breathed out, his chest moved in and out when he exhaled and once again, his hand reached down to rub against your slit through your panties. he grinned when he realised how utterly wet your panties were due to your arousal and cum dripping down it.

"anything you want." you breath out, your head lowered to look at him rubbing your cunt through your panties but it seemed as if he suddenly paused his action when you spoke up.

"anything?" chuuya repeated, "you sure 'bout that sweetie?"

you felt your body and cheeks heating up but you nodded, pushing past this shyness that he is producing in you to give the limelight to your lust which chuuya certainly took care of when he grabbed the underside of your thighs to lift you up and laid you down on the bed.

"please chuuya? how much more are you going to make me beg?" you looked up at him as he planted both of his hands besides your head and leaned down to peck your lips. his lithe fingers then moved to pull at the waistband of your panties and pull it down, you lifted your hips so he could do it easily and once your panties were pulled down to your knees, you raised one of your legs to pick your panties with your toes and pull it down, tossing it far away inside the room.

"did i make you beg me a lot?" chuuya chuckled as he asked you, he experimentally lowered himself and adjusted till his crotch was against your's and he pushed against your's and he immediately felt the urge to push his hips and to feel more of this newly found sensation itching at the back of his mind but chuuya refrained from doing so, trying to control himself. but how could he when you looked so preety when you nodded your head at his question, your half lidded eyes stared up at him and made him feel like what a greek god would when mortals would fawn upon him and his visuals.

utterly in admiration of the being which is partially a god and nervous to be in the presence of such kind, only a man could and who were you if not the one who worshipped chuuya the most and is chuuya really the one you trust your heart with if he doesn't prove again and again that just because his fists talks more then him, alcohol and wine is what energy drinks are to others in his age range -- does not mean that he is a stereotypical troublemaker. oh no, not when he treats you like a man of the highest caliber would treat his woman.

"don't worry sweetie, gonna spoil you tomorrow just as much as i am making you beg me tonight, yeah?" he rubbed his finger against your lip as he promised his affection and you hummed, parting your lips for him to shove his finger inside but chuuya didn't do as you expected him to do so, instead he blew a puff of air inside your mouth and watched as you blinked, overthrown by the suddenness and randomness of this action before your lips curled up as you laughed, somewhat embarassed.

"you are ruining the mood!" you whined as you smacked his chest but chuuya only sniggered on top of you as he raised his eyebrow in faux perplexity.

"what? no, i'm making the mood. you are just too used to all those porn and smut clichés to not appreciate my unique take on how to set a mood." chuuya playfully scoffed and leaned down to peck your jaw when you shook your head, denying with his words completely.

"just say you don't know how to get a girl wet chu --" your words were left hanging on your tongue when chuuya wrapped his hand around your throat and slightly pulled you up to speak directly against your lips while he pushed one of his knees against your bare cunt and nudged it to make a point before he spoke,

"oh i doubt that sweetheart. 'cause according to me, you are very wet right now." chuuya scoffed and you almost moaned for how can a single guy be sexy no matter what he does?

it's not fair.

it's not fair how he is choking you a bit roughly yet his eyes are making sure to notice any signs of discomfort on your face, neither is it fair when he leaned down to whisper in your ear and ask you what position would you feel the most comfortable in as its your first time.

neither is it fair for one single guy to hold love enough to rival that of a sea inside him but well, chuuya always did things exceptionally well and better then what's expected of him.

loving you is no different. he does it in a way that makes it clear that this is something only he can do and no one else can. no one else can ever will to be honest because chuuya nakahara exists only once.

and he is damn sure he is going to love only once and only you for as long as his brain could function to capture these moments between you two as memories.

"i . . . i feel kinda embarrassed so i don't want you to actually look at my face . . . you know . . ." you struggle to explain your feelings as you stare at chuuya's softened eyes filled with love and adoration, you could feel yourself leaning against the mattress even more if possible as his stare is literally melting you.

"so you want me behind you? is that what you are trying to say sweetheart?" chuuya asked for clarification and when you nodded, he smiled, leaned down to plant a small kiss on your lips before he climbed off you and instead, laid on the side beside you. when you tried to turn to face him, chuuya grabbed your hip to restrict your movements and instead, he, himself inched closer to you while he turned you using your hip, on the other side, such that your back was pressed against his chest and his hardened cock was pressed against your asscheeks.

"chu --"

"shh. why don't you keep quiet and let me satisfy you, hm?" chuuya whispers and how can one even think about being offended when it feels like a big honor to have your sentence cut off by him, to know he feels that his words should be spoken at the exact moment or they'll loose their impact or meaning but in your case, whenever chuuya intrupted you, it has always been for a cause that would make your stomach be swarmed by butterflies.

"hm." so you nod, breathing out nervously as you stare at the wall while waiting for your nerves to calm down or chuuya to do something to distract you from yourself and your anxious thoughts and he does as you expected but not in the way you expected him to.

instead of teasing you further or anything, chuuya wrapped his arm around your waist as he hid his face against your shoulder and murmured against it, "i . . . am scared sweetheart. i . . don't wanna hurt you, not even by accident."

oh, did he loose his mask of confidence now, now that he has you close yet your hopeful eyes aren't looking at him to admire him and is this why he is feeling so transparent? in this silence you always bring along that he misses in his otherwise fast paced and chaotic life? yes.

mumbled were the words that came from deep within his heart and moved you, your eyes softened as you smiled like a fool, something you do mostly whenever you are with chuuya. you look down at his hand resting on your stomach and you place your own on top of his as you bring it towards your lips to land a small yet sweet (as believed by chuuya) kiss on it.

"i was scared too till you admitted you are as well. now, i feel a bit better knowing we are both lame as shit at this." you chuckle as you admit to him and chuuya's hand (which was on your cheek as you placed it there) pinched your cheek when he heard how much he and his talking habits influenced you.

"don't curse." he playfully warned but smiled against your shoulder when he heard you sniggering at the irony of his words.

"i can do whatever i want, who are you to tell me what to and what not to do? hm?" you hum and chuuya gulped upon finding the sound emitted by you to be fairly attractive to hear, he did not let you have the last say though.

chuuya used his other hand to pull down on his sweatpants and boxers at the same time to save the time as he could feel impatience beginning to claw at his feet now that the fear is leaving through the same limbs after your confession of your sincere feelings in this otherwise sinful night.

"your senior and more importantly, your fucking boyfriend." chuuya muttered out and his voice came out low and mumbled as he was more focused on removing the clothes that covered his lower limbs and abdomen.

the voice of the greek god had always been something humans desired to hear once before dying but do they not think about what would happen once they do actually here it?

why, of course, they become the same as you -- addicted to the voice and who cannot go one day without reminiscing that voice which moved the grounds below their feets and made the air flowing through them to feel more cool.

"you do as i say, yeah? be my good girl, always." chuuya told, no, perhaps he demanded of you to always be on your best behavior for no one wanted to see you succeed more than chuuya.

he walked on a path filled with rocks and thus, he tried his best always to influence you on what turns to take as he wanted you to walk on the opposite road, one filled with rocks, indeed since no path is easy, but one which will have flowers to be admired and not spitted out blood to grimace at.

you nodded and as soon as you did, it was as if it's a reward for being obedient ; you felt the head of chuuya's cock poke against your ass cheek and you gasped softly, feeling your heart beat fastening and you patiently yet eagerly waited for his next action.

"may i?" chuuya whispered to which you nodded. he grabbed the back of your knee to part your leg and hold it up while you nod as you feel you cannot speak up as quickly as you would want to at this moment yet you do not want to wait anymore.

"i'll run to the pharmacy as soon as it opens tomorrow and buy you morning after pills, so don't worry, hm?" chuuya found the need to clarify to soothe your nerves in case this is what is making you feel so nervous but this was not the case at all, you nod, yet your nerves do not calm down as many thoughts appear in your head at the same time -- all of them have the same objective to answer what he will do next but none of these scenarios you thought could be compared to the real thing.

"i . . . am sorry, fuck, my inexperience is really showing up huh?" chuuya laughs as he clumsily rubs the tip of his dick against your folds as to gather some slick on it, he did not bother getting any lube as your cum would act like it already and truth be told, he feels to hot to actually wait another second from pouncing onto you now.

"never really thought you would be a virgin tho --"

" -- put it in?" chuuya intrupted you to lowly speak near your ear as he nudged his tip against your clit and you nodded quickly, shakily grabbing his tip as you marvel at the texture for a while, holding a dick for the first time sure feels weird yet you don't feel scared rather excited as chuuya's breath hitched when your fingers grasped his head. chuuya inched even closer to you as he buried his head against the crook of your neck.

"continue," he ordered and you shakily inched his tip closer towards your entrance as you nodded.

"'-- i don't know, you just don't look like the type to be one. i know i shouldn't assume things about anyone but you can't help but create a certain image of someone the more you --" your words were brought to a halt again as you paused with your actions now that his tip is aligned with your entrance, afraid of the pain it'll bring while pushing his cock inside your entrance and chuuya sensed it, dreading the same moment himself since the course of this night started but he had been scared for far long to manipulate himself with fake confidence and courage and so, he kissed your neck.

"wanna bite my hand to distract yourself from the pain? it'll disappear soon." he whispered to you and even though you shook your head, not wanting to feel better by inflicting pain upon him, chuuya still brought one of his palms near your lips and pressed the side of his palm against your lips because he knew you would soon give in.

your core burned again in desire and blinded your rationality which knew about the pain it would bring to have your cunt penetrated by his dick for the first time yet it was silenced by desire, your hand holding his tip shook as he you slipped it down to grab his length inside of the head, pushing the tip closer to your slit.

it didn't feel painful except a hit foreign at first but as soon as you pushed his length inside more, you could feel almost as if your muscles are tearing ; instinctly you closed your eyes and your teeth sinked into the flesh of his palm without you even realizing of doing so, a pained gasp leaving your lips.

chuuya couldn't dwell over the feeling of your walls suffocating his cock due to your teeth almost piercing his palm, it was a shrill kind of pain yet still had a subtle undertone of pleasure beneath it as chuuya is no stranger to punches and kicks and over the years of being so fearless of getting into fights, chuuya grew a great resistance to pain.

he took over where you left, both of his hands occupied by your body (one was being bitten, the other was holding your leg up to give him access to your cunt). he slowly pushed himself into you more as he thought it will be the best to go at a slower pace and drag the process out then going in quickly during the first time and taking risks.

you let out a faint sound of pain, your teeth sinking harder into his palm and chuuya too, hissed but continued to push himself inside you and stopped only when he was balls deep in you ; he once again hid his face against your shoulder as he let out a chuckle through his gritted teeth,

"fuck, are you trying to mark me or something sweetheart?" whispers are mere words but not so anymore when the one whose lips they leave to make a emphasis is the man whose blood is art and whose eyes are the spell.

and you will always fall for the spell, won't you?

the pain subdued and paved the way for pleasure to come sauntering in and this is when you realised the choked whines and pants leaving chuuya who felt as if he will cum just from the way you are sucking him in so greedily and suffocating his cock, challenging him to move and welcome pleasure to enter your body without cumming himself at the first thrust.

your teeth lifted up from the skin yet as a replacement, your eyes fell to look if your bite was too severe, a relief filled breath being exhaled when your damage was just faint teeth marks on his palm and the skin near it being extremely red.

before anything else could grab your focus, you let out a loud and surprised moan as chuuya suddenly pulled his dick out all the way till only the crown remained in your entrance before thrusting in.

you tilted your head as you tried to look back at chuuya but the same hand that once distracted you from your pain, now is also distracting you from looking at chuuya as he wrapped it around your throat to keep your head forwards for he knew he would cum if your eyes met with his, if he saw how much pleasure he is bringing to you.

he pushed and pulled as his skin slapped against your's with each thrust he made and you whined for how is it fair for someone claiming to be a virgin to be so good at this?

and so you let your frustration be known.

" -- you are so good at this! you always know how to make me shy or riled up so it's hard to, m-mhm a -- . . . -- ahh . . ., it's hard to believe you are a vigrin -- oh fuck, chu --" your eyes rolled back when chuuya's hand abandoned your throat to grab your cheeks and squeeze them tightly.

"what the fuck did i say about watching your language? you either do that or i fucking swear to you that you won't be able to speak even a single word once i'm done with you." chuuya roughly spat out as he closed his eyes, lips parted open to make way for soft moans to leave his lips while he continued to thrust in and out of you, his hand which holds your leg up in the air shook a bit due to the pleasure messing with him.

chuuya felt your walls clenching around him as he entered and left yet when the tip of his dick touched that one spot, he whined out as your walls squeezed him greatly and he paused, catching his breath and stopping the orgasm building inside him to reach its peak. he raised his head to look at you and you happened to sense his movements, opening your eyes which you didn't even realized shutted down the moment his head grazed near your g-spot and chuuya whined, cheeks heating up as he stared at you.

with his hand still grabbing and squeezing your cheeks to keep your lips parted, chuuya leaned down immediately to let his tongue inside your mouth, lightly grazing your's as he felt his saliva mix with your's and even dribble down your chin due to his one sided french kiss.

messy yet hot, the way chuuya likes.

chuuya pulled back soon, not bringing himself able to ignore the way your thighs tenses and relaxed as you waited for him to begin thrusting inside you again ; when he pulled back, a string of saliva connected his lips with your's and it made chuuya smirk, he leaned down to lick your bottom lip before letting go of your cheeks as his hand immediately came down to pinch your nipple between his fingers, wanting to edge you using your sensitive spot and you were too deep in pleasure to realise how his fingers shook too and how he whimpered and panted, feeling like he never did before but something he wants to feel regularly from here on.

"oh sweetheart, you are such a preety mess f'me. ain't ya? if one more curse leaves your mouth, i'll make sure to actually take my warning to you seriously, 'kay?" chuuya grinned as you whined out and with a cocky grin resting on his face, chuuya laid his head on the pillow again, beginning to thrust into you slowly yet deeply but not for long as once the taste of pleasure reentered into chuuya's body, his thrusts grew quick yet clumsy.

chuuya's fingers continued their assault as well, pinching your nipples, groping your breasts and lightly caressing them with a ticklish touch, all to watch you crumble below his finger and he dared not stop till your breathing quickened even more.

the saliva which still dropped down your chin and onto your neck is nothing compared to the pleasure flowing down your spine and stopping at your abdomen, where it playfully pulled on one end of the knot in your stomach.

the endless sucking of chuuya's dick by your walls had his thighs shaking as he moaned out softly.

chuuya's finger trailed down your breasts, downwards your abdomen and settled at your pubis before it once again trailed downwards and chuuya swore he only touched your clit with his thumb when you felt more pleasure travel down your spine and up your legs in waves, heavy waves.

these waves broke the knot in your stomach and you loudly cried out in pleasure and surprise when your body begins to tremble, the waves flowing from your head all the way to your toes.

so what broke the dam that is the knot of pleasure?

it was when chuuya lifted himself a bit to cling onto your neck and lick the side of it, the moment you felt his wet muscle touching your skin, your knot broke and the door of the dams opened, you loudly came while moaning his name.

chuuya watched with wide eyes in amazement your body shook and you squirted. he watched, till he couldn't anymore and with one more thrust, he entered what seemed like the mortal equivalent of a taste of heaven.

"chu." it's how your voice cracked when you called his name immediately after your orgasm ended that had him quickly pulling out of you. thick ropes of white painted your back and ass as if it were a canvas for his paint. like his heart was beating fast, so were you both as you two panted, desperately trying to come back to reality after getting a short glimpse of heaven on earth and when chuuya finally felt the sensitivity and leftover pleasure leaving his body and leaving it in a relaxed yet weakened state, he let your leg fall (the one he was holding up the entire time) and raised his hand infront of you to let you know he wants you to grab it.

you do, sucking another deep breath in to calm yourself from this addicting high, you raise your hand to clasp it against his, fingers tangling against his pretty, lithe ones and you wonder when the moon came out from its hiding again to shower chuuya's skin with its light, making his skin almost glow.

"was it good for you? any pain? was i too rough? did i go to hard --"

" -- why don't you just come and kiss me chu?" you mutter fondly as you stare at your clasped hands before chuuya tugs on it, his other hand going to grab your forearm to turn you around as he immediately raised his head to capture your lips in a soft kiss again.

━━━━━━━ 💋 end.

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rpclefairy · 6 months

Text

𝐁𝐆𝟑 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

a selection of lines from the various companions' banter quotes (not cut scene dialogues!) from baldur's gate 3. these are generally spoiler free and non context specific so they can apply to different settings and dynamics! feel free to change names and the like to customize the prompts.

“Death can't have me. Not yet…”

“Calm yourself. There is plenty of me to go around.”

“Realmspace is vast. Countless worlds to be mapped, kingdoms to be conquered.”

“I have missed this. The adventure. The danger. The kicking of butts!

“Let me guess - you need something.”

“Such attention.. I never realised I was so popular.”

“Let's cook with fire, baby.”

“Do you intend to vocalise every thought?. Or just the most obvious ones?”

“Wherever we go, ye gods let there be something green.”

“Careful, or I will take your toy away from you.”

“Watch your elders and learn.”

“Perhaps try attacking the enemy?”

“So much we don't know, lingering in the furthest reaches of existence.”

“All the world's my stage and you're just a player in it.”

“The shadows are my friend.”

“Yes, yes, have your fun. It isn't you they're trying to kill.”

“Feet planted firmly on Faerûn, please.”

“Admirable stamina, yet terrible priorities.”

“Well you certainly have the 'omnipresent' part down, don't you?”

“I am ready, whatever may come.”

“My faith protects me.”

“Need a throat slitting?”

“Death greets us all - but not today.”

“You need my expertise?”

“Can you feel death's cold grip?”

“So many stars, so many mysteries yet to be discovered.”

“Death comes quietly.”

“And I thought we were going to be friends.”

“Locked tight, but there must be some way to open it.”

“No, you can't die. Get up, damn you!

“You had my attention, now you have my fury.”

“From silence to suffering.”

“So many worlds out there. You'd need a thousand lifetimes to see them all - more.”

“I hope this is important. For your sake.”

“Let them gaze deep into their own abyss, and wonder just what it is they are trying to achieve.”

“I ought to just burn this whole thing down.”

“We have slightly more pressing matters to attend to.”

“You have still have time to surrender.”

“Every kicked buttock, another step on the path.”

“Weave save me. I can't take much more…

“You are right to fear me.”

“Let me look around. Might be something that'll help me crack this thing.”

“Incredible, to think how many worlds exist beyond this tiny speck within a speck I call home.”

“I really wish I could cast a Hold spell on you.”

“I can fawn over my face later.”

“Ready for another round?”

“Keep your blade close.”

“I can't unlock it from here, but there must be a switch or a button somewhere…”

“No, that's not moving. There must be a way to open it somewhere.”

“Battle favours the fearless.”

“Sleep with one eye open, evil. Maybe both.”

“Gotta be something around here to unlock this thing.”

“Why do beautiful people taste better?. It hardly seems fair on the ugly - they have such wonderful personalities.”

“Oh, calm down. I'm happy to see you too.”

“Just go for the Magic Missile and fire away. Never fails.”

“Still standing, no matter what you heard.”

“Enough waiting. I crave blood.”

“Hang on - I won't allow this. You aren't dead, go it?”

“GODS, it's HOT in here!”

“No rest for the wicked, I see.”

“Better to hide than fight, sometimes.”

“Would that I could hide from you, too.”

“Are you feeling lonely, perhaps?”

“There is no right or wrong, only truth.”

“Battle is afoot - you can poke me once we are safe.”

“What good all this ethereal eladrin blood if I can still get pimples?”

“I should've been a drow. They have such stylish armour.”

“I am armed! Armoured! And entirely sick of your foolishness.”

“Let's have some fun.”

“War is an old woman's game.”

“No rest, be you wicked or wise.”

“I'm getting too old for this nonsense.”

“I would poke you back, but I fear that's what you want.”

“You have my attention - now do something with it.”

“You are insistent, are you not?”

“Do what must be done.”

“Your suffering will be spectacular.”

“Lest I sit down for a rest and not rise again.”

“Better to look evil in the eye. Even if it be very small.”

“I'm not built to crouch.”

“I think I could go another round.”

“Always the same old song.”

“Is perfection too much to ask?”

“Eyes on victory, tummy on dinner.”

“So many places to be.. and I chose Baldur's Gate.”

“I'm not opening that. Not from here, at any rate.”

“What is the point, if not victory?”

“Won't last much longer like this.”

“Let's hope the locals are friendly.”

“Let us show them how it's done.”

“Weapons high. Standards higher.”

“Must everyone be so exhausting?”

“What I would not give for a chunk of fresh honeycomb…”

“Which way to the nearest library?”

“Now this is my happy place.”

“Who shall I silence?”

“Stop, or die.”

“Wear your scars proudly.”

#indie rp #rp meme #rp ask meme #sentence starter #rp prompts #bg3 prompts #rp sentence starters

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sickuma · 11 months

Text

SILLAGE — a Simon Riley fic. 2/2

❱ again this was an au first written on tiktok! this will be the last part of it, please keep in mind that it is all fiction and that if you're going through the same thing and are having the same thoughts, please seek someone you trust. Please fight for yourselves, you're worth it ꜝ？ Warning. . this is a heavy angst fic, mentions of suicide and acts of committing, if that is something that triggers bad emotions, please exit the fic.

paring is Ghost x Reader this is unedited! mistakes such as spelling and grammatical errors are to be expected !

Part 1 (^_^;)

SILLAGE — (n.) The scent that lingers in air, the trail left in water, the impression made in space after something or someone has been and gone; the trace of someone's perfume.

—hey [name]? I know I'm the last person you want to hear from right now, but I just really—

There was a short pause, as the voicemail erupts a slight static sound.

—I love you. That should have been enough reason. No, you were enough. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I was cowardly, I figured that you'll be happier and safer, being with someone who isn't me. Someone who isn't a soldier.

It was the same night he left your apartment. He swore to himself he would not come crawling back. To protect both of you, at the time, it had been the best solution for him. Until the midnight strikes, he remembered just how serious you looked, just how accepting you looked.

Too accepting.

—because who knows when one of these missions would finally take me out. I can't let you suffer through that, I can't be the one to give you that kind of grief. So I thought leaving you was the best option.

There was a dire pause as he thought of the best words possible to express himself. He’s never been one to do such, but for you, he’s willing to be better.

—it wasn't.

He spoke desperately, almost shaking from just how much adrenaline rushed through him. He had just argued with the team, and after a long hour of explaining to them what he needed to do, he was finally permitted to bail out on this mission, it’s not like he wouldn't leave without permission, that's how urgent this is for him, he needed to get to you as soon as possible,

Even he doesn't know why he’s in a rush,

Maybe it's because of your silence, the unanswered calls, and unread messages that brought him on edge.

—I love you, far too much, my love, to even think straight without you. I love you so much it's hard to breathe. I so desperately love you to the point it hurts.

The desperation and sincerity. It was all there. He knew if he couldn't let it out now, he won't let it out ever. This was his only chance of being happy.

You were his only chance for happiness. He almost couldn't believe he thought letting you go because of his fear was the best decision.

He stupidly let you go, succumbing to the fear of dying while you wait for him. He knows better, he will do better,

For you. Because you're worth changing for, you're worth the risk.

—please don't hate me. I know I was an ass for leaving in the first place, baby, I am sorry. You loved me so much that it felt so good, I didn't know I'm capable of feeling that way, so I was scared that worse would come after. I'm not scared anymore. You looked at me like there's something in me worth looking at,

He felt like he was saying so much yet so little at the same time,

He had so much to tell you but very few words to express it. He needs to be with you. He needs to see you and physically explain to you just how much you mean to him.

—I won't waste it, love, not again. Please open the door for me when I get back.

He frowned, realizing once again just how idiotic he was. He knew he should not have done what he did, but it was over with. The only thing left to do is to make things right somehow.

—I've never been taught how to love, I have.. I don't— I'm not the best at it. I'm sorry baby, if I'm not loving you the right way, and for leaving just like that, but I promise I'll be better. you're worth the better of me, you're worth learning love for.

He needed you, and you needed him. That should have been enough reason to risk it.

—when I come back, please let me hold you. Please forgive me for making you feel like an option between my job. It's you. It's always been you. I love you, baby, wait for me. I'll make this right.

As the line cuts, the static sound fills the eerie room of yours. The very same room he had walked out from, the same room where you sat breathing hours ago. There were no other living sounds except for the occasional ticking of the clock.

There were no signs nor sounds of life perceived in the room. The silence was thick. With your lifeless body beside the bed in a fetal position, a bottle of used pills tightly wrapped around your hands. It was light, about three to four pills left inside a newly bought bottle.

It was dead silent as if the universe sympathized with you.

Allowing silence in regards to respect for what has passed, for what has ended.

﹑

“My family’s never been the typical joyous family, I guess that affected me, as a person in general.”

You explain, running your hand through his hair while his head laid on your lap. It’s one of those days where he’d be much affectionate compared to the majority of the time. He requested to hear about your childhood while he rests on you,

For a moment you felt your heart and breath hitch.

“I guess growing up in that kind of household really—really influenced my well-being. It's given me problems and worries I shouldn't have.” You were hesitant to continue, “Fear, I started having fears for a lot of things.”It's as if you caught a glimpse of his mind, taking in the details you've just given him.“Fears like?”

The moment the question reached your ears, he could see your body tense. He understood, and he doesn't plan on pushing it.“You don't have to answer that, my love.” he smiles, “No matter what it is you're scared of, let’s face it together, yeah? You have me. That's enough, I hope.”

Little did he know that fear was yet to come. The fear of leaving soon, the fear of being unable to keep going. How could you ever explain to him that you don't plan to stay long?

﹑

With a ragged breath from exhaustion, he dropped his things once again, the same way he did before he left. Facing your door yet again, panting as a feeling of discomfort plagued him, why exactly? He’s finally here. Why is he so distraught, he wondered.

“[name]?” he knocks,

Swallowing the lump in his throat, his voice strained, and his state dishevelled. “[name] please—it’s me, please answer.”

The lack of response made him think about just how angry he made you,

“I'm sorry,” he whispers,

“I know I was stupid and irrational. I won't do it again, petal, please open the door.”

To say he’s nervous would be an understatement. What would he do if you never find it in you to let him back into the comfort of your arms? Will he return to the familiar cold he had forgotten when he met you?

“[name] I love you.”

He desperately spoke, yearning for an answer; the smallest sign of acceptance.

It was odd. How quiet it was. Are you that mad? He wonders, but then again, he knew you’re not one to ignore, not even when you’re the angriest you've been. You would never shut him out, not ever. “[name], please, answer, or I'll have to go inside.”

“Baby are you okay?” no response.

Each passing second was like a countdown. He was uneasy and distraught. Afraid even.

The silence felt deafening. He was afraid of what? He had no clue what he was so afraid of, surely you're okay...

Right?

“[name], I'm coming in,” he says sternly, fishing the spare key he oh so gratefully forgot to give back. His heart thumps louder with each action.

The moment he entered, the creak of the door interrupted the silence. He felt like he was intruding on an abandoned space. It felt wrong. He knew something was wrong.

“[name]? I'm back, like—like I always am.” his voice broke, stepping inside, head looking around, hoping to find you and engulf you in his longing arms. “As I told you, I’ll always find my way back… right?”

He kept speaking while he walked, checking and opening every door. Starting from the small kitchen to the bathroom, checking everywhere until there was one room left. He dreaded it, for no reason he was scared and yet he rushed,

He spoke, no—he goes on a tangent,

“I'll take the month off. We’ll do anything you want, anything to make up for this. I promise we can even get a pet, I always say no, right? This time, I'll agree, anything for you, my love just—”

The silence rung,

Apart from the sound of the door opening by his force, there were no sounds made, not from him, not from anything. He simply stood, dumbfounded at what the room unveiled; at that moment, nothing mattered, not even the breath he had held unknowingly.

A ragged chuckle escaped his lips, though it was hollow. As if he was desperate to know that maybe this is all some sick prank. Maybe this was one of your silly games he always put up with, “Baby? What’s this? Why are you on the floor?”

“Jokes over [name] get up—”

When it all came to view, he was silenced. The second he stepped closer, he saw how your body lay lifeless, how you held that bottle, and how his eyes drifted onto the lone tear, which evidently dried along the hours.

How long have you been here?

In this state? How long has it been since you left him?

He couldn't feel. He couldn't grasp his head around the sight before him. He’s well familiar with death. He’s seen it before, and he’s lost comrades before, but nothing comes close to what lay in front of him.

How does one react when their lifeline lies lifeless before their very eyes?

He couldn't approach nor speak. He simply stood with weak knees, tempting to give out. It didn't take him long to crouch, eyes wide open with lips parted slightly. There were no tears, no emotions, the moment numbed him. It didn't feel like reality,

There he crouched, just a few steps away from you. It didn't feel like his heart dropped. It felt almost worse, as if you'd taken it with you. How could this have happened? Did he cause this?

If you had told him a day ago that he would witness the person he loved the most laying on the floor devoid of life, he would have laughed at your face, punching you even. This isn't reality. This isn't a reality he wants to face.

It took every courage in his body to bring himself closer to you, afraid of what more he’d discover. With slow steps, he drew closer, grabbing your hand was the first thing he thought of doing. “Oh god…” his voice broke,

Your body isn't as warm as it used to be,

Not as he remembered. The warmth he loved when he would hold you against him, it’s gone. You're gone.

He had felt countless of stiff lifeless bodies and yet yours hurt the most,

The mere thought of it destroyed him. It hasnt sinked in yet, but he could tell. He could tell his demise is near. The realization will hit him in a short while.

“Baby, im home…” this wasn't him. This was not his voice. Stuttering over the easiest words, strained with pent-up sobs. His chest felt heavy, almost making it difficult to breathe.

Yet with hitched breath, he picked up your limp body and placed you in his arms, crushing your icy body against him. He held you tightly, but his hands cradled your body tenderly. It was as if he’s afraid of hurting you more.

Ghost was forever fearless, always facing whatever challenge was given to him, even his mortal enemy would know that he isnt necessarily the easiest solder to crack, let alone destroy and yet he finds himself sat on the floor holding the lifeless frame of his lover,

Cradling whatever is left of you,

Desperately holding onto what he can possibly hold on to.

The lieutenant everyone looked up on, admired and viewed as an admirable man, sat on the floor with a weighing heart. Holding back the tears that had formed without his knowledge as he held your body,

but right now, he wasn't lieutenant simon ‘ghost’ riley.

At this moment, he was just simon, the simon you loved desperately, the simon who loved you just as insanely.

This person right this moment was your simon,

He wasnt anyone else, he was yours.

As he sat on the hard cold floor, thoughts roaming with his heart screaming, he felt like a mess, but that didn't matter. Words can not describe the regret, remorse, and stupidity he felt,

If i didnt leave,

If i didn't walk out that door,would you still have been alive in my arms?Would i still have to hold you soulless?

He held you closer, bringing you closer to him, as close as possible. He felt nothing but regret, nothing but anger for himself. Why is it that the very grief he tried to protect you from, the same reason he left, the same grief he avoided you to feel, why is it that he’s feeling it now?

His ragged sobs filled the room, and the rest remained still as if everything sympathized for him. As if the world understood the hurt he carried. He sobs, holding onto you as if doing so would bring you back. He knew nothing well, and yet he foolishly cried, hoping you’ll hear him and come back to ease the pain.

Like you always did.

At the corner of his eyes, he saw the letters piled not far from them. Without standing, nor letting go of you, he reached for it. Reading the names addressed on each, until he sees the one for him.

Of all the few letters he saw, his was the only one with tear drops which ruined the ink in front, almost unable to read, he brought it closer, dropping the rest.

Simon,

I felt everything.

Thank you, and im sorry,

I love you :)

Swallowing the impossibly heavy lump on his throat, he opened the carefully folded letter. He was met with even more tear drops. The thought of you crying, alone, while you write him a letter to bid him goodbye, crushed his soul.

He cant imagine a greater pain,

It felt surreal.

How could I..

How could I have lost you this easily.

With his blurry vision, he starts to read—well—attempt to. With every sentence, every punctuation, every meaning of your words, all of it felt like a slap to reality.

How could he have not seen?

How did he not notice? Not paying attention to what you were going through? How could he have been so careless as to leave you all alone.

The very fear you spoke of,

He did just exactly what your family had done.

If anybody could have saved me,

it would have been you.

He read the part over and over again, allowing your words to cut through his heart repeatedly. He left you, and yet, at the end of the day, you still see him as someone—the only one who could save you.

Despite the war inside your mind,

Inside your mind and unwavering emotions, which he hadn't bothered to unveil, he remained the most important person.

May it be in your chaotic mind or the furthest crevices of your heart, he remained on both.

He read it all,

Understanding every single thing you failed to say in person,

Everything you failed to say while you still lived.

It hurts even more. He thought nothing could be more painful when he saw you laying lifeless. But having to read what you wanted to say,

How sorry you were, how thankful you are to him, and how he made you feel.

It was surely another cut to an already existing wound. His mind flashed memories while he went over the tear stained letter you left.

He remembered everything as if they were as fresh as yesterday. When you first smiled at him, when you first held hands, when your lips first touched.

Your words were true. The story of you really is short-lived. But he couldn't help but think about the what If's

If he stayed,

If he hadn't walked out,

If he ignored his fear of abandoning you,

If he hadn't been so stupid and cowardly.

He gave up, and the heavy lump on the throat overcame him, letting the sting linger for as long as eternity. He read the last words on the letter, with a loud sob, with repeated pleads.

Repeatedly apologising, repeatedly begging for you to come back so he could fix things so everything could return to normal,

So you could return.

A childish wish. A high-ranking soldier held the lifeless body of his lover all while he begs for them to come back.

"I'm so sorry." He whispers, voice too broken to speak normally. "I'm sorry for not noticing."

"I'm sorry you had to be alone."

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He repeats over and over again, holding you against him.

At the back of the letter, he could barely see the words written with how blurry the tears clouded his eyes.

Thank you for making me feel.

The words only crushed him even more, sobbing and crying harder to no avail.

"[name]..." He whispers, holding you close. "Did it hurt? I'm sorry, it must have been so hard."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm so sorry for not being here you."

He apologized, wishing he could have been with you. To convince you otherwise, wishing he could have been here to avoid this,

To avoid losing you.

Wishing he could have stayed to keep making you feel.

The thoughts of your words before he left suddenly entered his mind,

"Can I hug you?"

"One last time?"

Now it all makes sense why you looked so serene, why you looked so accepting. Why did you have that small smile on your lips,

You were bidding him goodbye.

That really was the final hug.

The final touch he'd ever get, the final living affection he would get from you.

He holds you now, but it wasn't the same, not even close. Back then, you were smiling and breathing, but now you're no different to an inanimate object. Stiff and cold, this is the person he loved so dearly?

It ached.

And it ached painfully.

The type of ache to never go away, the type of ache he'd keep forever.

The type of ache he'll willingly embrace,

As he held you that night, mourning for what could've been, mourning for someone beyond saving.

This was the ache he'd willingly feel forever,

If it means having you in his mind and heart. He would willingly hurt himself by keeping that ache if it means keeping you in his deceased heart forever.

As the remnant of your memories roamed the room, your presence which now passed, the scent of yours he dearly craved. It left a sillage pain to remember,

You left a sillage worth remembering.

"I'll keep you in my heart,

Even if that damage me,

Even if it kills me.

I'll keep you safe forever."

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