#who am I kidding I’m on tumblr dot com you guys know | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

javierpena-inatacvest · 2 months

Text

Haircut

Summary: Javi thinks that he's way past due for a haircut. You like his hair long for reasons other than his good looks.

Word Count: 2.1K (I sprinted to write this after I saw this picture)

Pairing: Husband!Javi x Wife!Reader (no use of y/n, reader's nickname is Osita)

Warnings: SMUT (18+) Oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, praise kink, (lovingly?) possessive Javi, Javi's back at again with his filthy mouth, hair pulling, Javi is hungry and the man is gonna EAT, allsions to more smut, Jonas Brother's references ( bc Javi is our girl dad king and his daughters love them LMAO)

A/N: Y'ALL REALLY THOUGHT THIS PICTURE OF PEDRO WAS SURFACE RIGHT HERE ON TUMBLR DOT COM AND I WASN'T GONNA DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?!? WRONG. I legit have 3 WIPS I started in the past 24 hours based on this picture alone. Pedro really did this one for the Javier Peña girlies (gn) and I will forever be in debt to him for that. You cannot tell me that this is Dad!Javi when his kids are a little bit older bc HOLY SHIT?! This really may the nail in the coffin for @notjustjavierpena and I bc really fear this is the dilfiest Husband Javi has ever looked 😩😵‍💫 anyways, never getting over this!!!!

Series Masterlist Never Too Late Masterlist

“God, I can’t even remember the last time my hair has been this long. Lucy keeps saying I look like a Jonas Brother. Am I supposed to know who they are? Is that supposed to be a good thing?” Javi sighed, playing with his dark brown curls in the bathroom mirror as you snuck up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist, peeking out to watch your husband’s longer than usual locks twist between his fingers.

“They’re the goofy looking boy band on Disney Channel that the girls are obsessed with. Like the Backstreet Boys, except cooler, apparently.” You laughed, planting a soft kiss into the fabric of Javi’s worn t-shirt covering his broad back before stepping next to him, leaning your hip against the bathroom counter to admire your husband as he fiddled with his hair.

“Jesus Christ, those guys? God, I really do need a haircut before I start looking like the poster what’s-his-face hanging on Lucy and Elliot’s walls.” Javi chuckled, running his hand through his hair once more before mirroring you, his hip resting against the counter, leaning his weight on his palm splayed flat along the granite surface.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think he’s supposed to be the best looking one.” You teased, giving Javi a playful shrug. “Besides, I like your hair long.”

“Seriously?” Javi asked, raising an eyebrow at you, crossing his arms over his chest in protest. “It looks like a mop right now.”

“A very sexy mop.” You smirked, nudging Javi before stepping closer into him, reaching up to run your hand through his curls, slowly twisting the ends with your fingers. “It reminds me of that trip we took to Jamaica a few years ago. Your hair was almost this long, remember? You looked so hot in those stupid floral button downs you insisted on buying, and hanging out shirtless by the pool all day while you played with the girls.”

“Fuck, I forgot about that. I’m surprised we didn’t end up with a fourth kid after that trip.” Javi chuckled, slowly shifting the palm that had been holding him up towards your waist, letting his fingers gently toy with the waistband of your pajamas. “You really like my long hair that much?”

“Mhmmmm.” You cooed, continuing to close the gap between your bodies, your free hand resting on Javi’s chest as the other continued to stroke his curls. You could feel a low groan rumbling in Javi’s throat as your fingers weaved back and forth through his hair, the other creeping up to cradle his jaw, thumb tracing back and forth across the stubble on his cheek.

“Yeah? What else do you like about it?” Javi groaned, his hand slipping under the elastic waistband of your pants to grab a fistfull of your ass, kneading the soft flesh in his hand.

“I like…” You paused, bringing your lips to Javi’s, pressing a tender kiss on his lips, “I like that it gives me something extra to hold on to.”

“Hold on to?” Javi asked, cocking his head in slight confusion.

“Hold on to when you go down on me. I love being able to run my hands through your hair when you eat me out, especially when it’s long like this.” You smirked, watching Javi’s eyes go wide in delight, a devilish grin spreading across his face as he bit down on his lip.

Before you could say anything else, Javi’s hands were gripping around your waist and hosting you up to sit on the counter, caging his body against yours, hands planted around the outside of your hips while his lips crashed into yours, your mouths becoming a tangled mess of tongue and teeth.

“Fuck…” Javi whispered to himself, pulling away from your lips to pepper kisses down your jaw and neck, running his hands over your thighs. “I love it when you play with my hair, Hermosa. Love feeling you pull on it when you’re close. Makes me lose my fucking mind every time. Fuck, I’d stay burried between your legs forever if I fucking could.”

Javi began to let his kisses trail down your body, past your chest and across your stomach before he was dropping to his knees in front of you, draping your legs across the width of his shoulders. Pulling at your waistband, you lifted your hips off the counter so your pajamas and underwear could fall to the floor, revealing the wetness that had been pooling between your thighs since you had walked into the bathroom a few minutes ago.

“Jesus Christ…” Javi whispered, further parting your legs to see the arousal already dripping through your folds, staring up at you with a boyish grin on his face, “So fucking wet for me, Hermosa. Didn’t realize you liked my hair that much.”

“Oh shut up you goof, you know I- o-oh fuck-” You whimpered, Javi cutting off the rest of your sentence as the flat of his tongue dragged across your cunt, the suddent sensation making you gasp in delight, already playing in to Javi’s plan as your hand shot down to his head, digging your fingers into his messy hair.

“Better hold on tight, querida. There’s a lot more where that came from.” Javi smirked, pulling away just enough to see the smug smile between his cheeks, peppering a few wet kisses on the inside of your thighs before his head was back between your legs, placing a soft kiss on your clit, already aching and throbbing for more of what you had just been promised.

“Do your worst, Peña.”

That one sent a low growl of approval humming through his chest, laughing to himself as his hands gripped tighter around your thighs, fingertips digging into the soft flesh of your skin before another slow, broad stroke of his tongue was traveling through your folds.

While you were truly convinced there wasn’t another man who loved going down on their wife more than your husband did, you could always tell when Javi wanted nothing more than to stay buried between your thighs, making you cum over and over until you were begging him to stop, lapping up every last drop of you until there was nothing left to give, and right now, you already knew Javi meant what he said when you were about to have to hold on for dear life.

The hand buried in the dark waves of Javi’s hair only began to tug tighter as his tongue began to work meticulously across your cunt, pressing just enough pressure against your sensitive bundle of nerves to already have you a squirming, whimpering mess, but painstakingly slow enough to have you begging for more.

“Javi… Oh, shit. Fuck, more baby, please. P-please.” You moaned, looking down at Javi with what you were already sure was a wrecked expression painted across your face.

You could practically feel Javi’s smug smirk pressed against your cunt as he eased one, then two fingers into your aching core, curling them to bump against the spongy spot inside you that already had you fisting at the edge of the bathroom counter to try and keep your composure, and better yet, your voice down.

“Oh my god, f-fuck. You feel so good, baby.” You moaned, feeling the strong arch of Javi’s nose bumping against your clit, placing a soft kiss there before the flat of his tongue licked another long, broad stroke across your cunt, putting just the right amount of pressure on your sensitive bundle of nerves as his fingers worked in tandem to send the sweet tingling sensation to start building in your spine.

“Fuck, I love this perfect pussy so much. I still can’t believe she’s all fucking mine. My perfect fucking wife. Tell me, Hermosa, whose pussy is this?” Javi asked, pulling away for you to see your slick covering his mustache and the lustful look pooling in the dark brown of his eyes, the quiet possessiveness of his tone making your cunt clench even tighter around his fingers as they continued to pulse in and out of you.

“It’s y-yours, Javi, It’s all- fuck- It’s all yours.” You whined, your breath hitching in your throat as you spoke.

“And who’s the only one who makes you feel like this, huh?” Javi tutted, sliding a third finger into your heat, the sweet stretch and sting making you let out a ragged whimper as you threw your head back in pleasure.

“Y-you- Jesus- Y-you are, Javi.”

“And who’s gonna be a good girl and soak my face when she cums for me?”

“M-me.”

“That’s fucking right, you are.” Javi growled before diving back between your legs, working his tongue relentlessly against your clit, circling and flicking in fast and firm motions as his fingers curled deeper into your core, eating you up like a man starved, desperate to make you fall apart.

You could already feel the coil in your stomach beginning to tighten from the way Javi was working so relentlessly to make you come undone, drinking every ounce of you up as his lips latched around your sensitive bundle of nerves, making your back arch and mind go blank while that all too familiar tingle began to creep through your core, cunt beginning to clench tighter and tighter around him.

At this point, your fingers were tugging so tightly around the soft, brown curls of his locks to try and hold yourself together, that you were convinced that you were close to pulling his hair out of his skull, but with the way you were on the brink of collapse from the way Javi’s mouth was working against your cunt, you almost didn’t have a choice.

“Fuck, Javi. Oh shit- Baby, I’m so close. Don’t stop.”

“I won’t stop, mi amor. Won’t stop until this pretty pussy fucking soaks me.” Javi mewled, peeking his head out from under you just enough so that his sweet, brown eyes were locked with yours, the hot words of his breath dancing against your pussy as his fingers continued to rock in and out of you. “I’ve got you, Osita. Promento. Damelo, bebita. (I promise. Give it to me, baby).”

Before you could respond, your jaw dropped open and face scrunched in pleasure as Javi dove back in, burying his face in your cunt as each press of his tongue became more firm and precise than the last, feeling your pussy begin to flutter as you clutched tighter around the edge of the counter, trying to keep from screaming out in pleasure and raise any suspicion. But as your legs began to tremble and your heart race, teetering on the brink of collapse, it was taking every ounce of willpower you had left to make that happen.

“Fuck, Javi. Fuck, I- fuck- I’m gonna, I’m gonna-ahhhhhh.” You whimpered, feeling your orgasm crash through you, pleasure radiating in your veins as you fell apart, losing all inhibitions to keep yourself quiet as you threw your head back in all consuming bliss. With his fingers still buried in your cunt, gently working you through your high, Javi shot back up, his mouth engulfing yours in an electric kiss to try and capture your ragged moans that had been coating the walls of the bathroom, the tangy taste of you still lingering on his lips.

Your heartbeat finally began to slow, your chest heaving in long, heavy breaths as you slumped into Javi, your head resting on his shoulder as your hands stayed buried deep in his hair, grasping onto his now sweat-dampened ends to try and pull yourself back down to reality.

After a few moments of letting you come to, Javi gently pulled out his fingers, all three drenched and glistening with your slick, pulling them out and bringing them to his mouth, sucking them clean with a devilish smirk of satisfaction on his face.

“God, you taste so fucking sweet. You really weren’t kidding about the hair, huh Hermosa?” Javi chuckled, cupping your jaw to cradle your cheek with his broad palm, forcing your gaze up at him.

“I told you.” You giggled softly, still trying to catch your breath as you smiled at him, pulling him in for another long, tender kiss. “Hottest looking Jonas Brother I’ve ever seen.”

The two of you burst out into laughter, practically snorting at your comment, taking a second to compose yourselves as Javi crossed his arms over his chest, rolling his eyes at you.

“If that’s the fucking case, I’m getting out the clippers tonight.”

“Not until you take me to bed and do this all again, you aren’t.”

taglist:

@chaotic-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadress @milly-louise @jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog @hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr @amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @picketniffler @burningnerdchild @copperhalfcent @theoraekenslover @pigeonmama @pedr0swh0r3

691 notes · View notes

ecoamerica · 1 month

Text

youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

16K notes · View notes

sailorblossoms · 1 year

Text

yet another post on simon and labels

For the record, I feel the need to clarify that when I talk about Simon and labels, it’s not because I want him to label himself. He could be a fifty-year-old that’s like “what am I? hell if I know” and that would be fine and gucci (it’s how I personally approach my identity; it’s okay to not have all the answers! it’s okay to have no answers at all!). I think it’s important that both the authorial intent and the main takeaway for the readers is to see how hard it can be to figure yourself out, to still fall in love despite not having the answers. If I never interacted with or even seen this fandom at all, I would’ve walked away with “canonically unlabeled main character” and left it there.

At the same time, and perhaps in the interest of analysis (to a certain extent, perhaps with the same kind of curiosity one wonders whether Simon will ever know his mom visited) I’ve seen people wonder. Leaving something open usually invites speculation... Because this is a fictional (emphasis on fictional; I’ve been unfortunately cursed with the knowledge that people get on twitter dot com to do this to real people, which is beyond fucked up) character, I don’t think it’s wrong to wonder for character analysis purposes, (or for fanfic purposes, if one wants to understand something because they have a specific story to tell). Or perhaps in attempts to figure oneself through fiction.

When I log on to say “he makes so much more sense as in the ace spectrum” I’m not just analyzing, I’m also working through assumptions about intimacy and the ways in which the books challenge how attraction is perceived and I find that meaningful. There’s a reason why so many people who identify somewhere in the acespec feel drawn to these books. When I say “the kid is likely gay but struggles with not wanting to be perceived as gay/fears experiencing homophobia” I don’t mean to undermine him not wanting to be labeled (which, by the way, is also fitting for someone who has been defined by labels for so long: to just simply go unlabeled as he finds out who he is and what he wants, unburdened by expectations at last) I’m partly responding to the seemingly popular idea (which remains as an impulse, despite him being canonically unlabeled) to paint him as bisexual (which, at worst, results in people writing off the series as bi-erasure, or judging it for things it never attempted to do, so forgive me if I come here to yell about people being loud and wrong in my little blog). I also discuss him likely being gay because I do think the ways in which the books capture how heteronormativity and comphet can fuck us up (for the record, I know bi folks can also experience both!) it’s worth discussing. Our fear of not belonging, or not wanting to be gay because we’re afraid of not being accepted or being in danger because of it (Simon literally has the instincts to look over his shoulder to see if they’re being watched when he first kisses Baz!) being captured in a story where ultimately, the gays are alright and happy and together... for me? it’s worth discussing. (I’m also a serial over-thinker. Shit along the lines of “but tumblr user sailorblossoms, how can you say he is or isn’t interested in [whatever] when Simon thinks [insert quote]?” has sparked many posts haha)

I probably wouldn’t have been on here saying “Simon is likely gay” and “I’m confident this guy isn’t a woman-liker” without My Rosebud Boy, and AU written by the author, attempting to capture the essence of her characters in a different scenario, that has Simon in his early thirties saying “I’m gay. I used to have a problem with being perceived as/being gay, but not anymore.” Because this for me validated the perception I had with certain things that I was seeing in the books. If you asked me to speculate (because I ain’t a mind-reader) based on interviews and things I have seen the author say on social media, I would say that when CO came out, the author did genuinely not what Simon was, because the intent has been that it’s okay not to know from day one. Sexuality can be complicated, and the main intention was to not define him. But by the time MRB comes out, well... Simon says it. But also: this isn’t at odds with the intent in the trilogy. Simon is barely not a teenager there. He’s a thirty something adult in MRB. Different circumstances, different life stages, etc etc (I have lots of thoughts on that AU but I don’t want to lose the thread). The other thing the author has said from day one (before the sequels were even a thought) which remained consistent, is that good ol’ Simon is a “Baz-sexual.” That, for me, is among the big takeaways: Simon has not experienced true attraction before Baz. I’m not here saying this guy is interested in guys in general either – as soon as Baz is in the picture, it’s game over (who notices a match when you’re in the middle of a forest fire?). There are many people (and fictional characters) who experience attraction to a lot of people, all the time, even when they’re in love with one person. But Simon ain't one of them. He doesn’t say he’s “a Baz-romantic.” He says “a Baz-sexual” with his whole chest.

#simon snow #simon snow trilogy #simon snow series

22 notes · View notes

makeste · 3 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 314: ...Or You Live Long Enough to See Yourself Become the Villain

Previously on BnHA: Some random assholes were all “let’s throw exploding spears at All Might and see if it activates his Conqueror’s Haki” and SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKERS, IT DID!! Elsewhere, Lady Nagant confusingly tried to capture Deku alive by shooting him in the stomach, but to be fair I guess that’s what happens when you send an assassin to do a bounty hunter’s job, so yeah. Deku was all “ouch”, and then because this is a shounen he basically just straight up forgot about it, and did a big fancy Smokescreen thing, and then activated his mildly incomprehensible new ki-blasting quirk which he got from the Third. En and the Third were all “hey Deku maybe let’s not just impulsively activate all this shit in the heat of battle when you don’t know how to use it yet and you’re already injured,” and Deku was all “thanks for the quirks guys but I’ll take it from here” and snuck up on Nagant and grabbed her arm and so now what’s going to happen I wonder.

Today on BnHA: Nagant is all “[shoots Deku again]” because of course she is lol. Deku is all “tell me about AFO!” and Nagant is all “why would I tell you anything?” and then proceeds to tell him her entire life story which is FILLED WITH SO MUCH MURDER, YOU GUYS. Holy shit. So basically she was an assassin for the HPSC, which we already knew, but somehow it’s one thing to know that, and another to actually see her running around capping dudes in the forehead and being covered in more blood than the elevator from The Shining. Anyway, so you’ll never believe it, but all that murder had a negative impact on her psychologically, and eventually led her to question everything she believed about hero society, and so she killed her creepy boss and was promptly sent to Tartarus. This extremely fun chapter ends with Overhaul showing up all “HI, HELLO, I’M STILL HERE”, because for some reason he is still here. Why are you still here, Overhaul.

“the beautiful Lady Nagant” oh you know your audience don’t you Horikoshi

well all right then! so I’m guessing this means that she is not, in fact, going to roll over and die just because Deku’s out here all “GOT YA!” like they’re playing a game or tag or something. ffff may the manga gods have mercy on our young suicidal protagonist

lmao so Deku is all “GOD I’M SO SMART, WHAT A GOOD STRATEGY I HAD, CAPITOL JOB THERE OL’ CHAP, CAPITOL” and lol, okay. I mean, it was a good plan though. but I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop here

“I’ll make you give me information on All for One” well there you go, lol. Deku Angst arc still fully engaged. still no light in his eyes either of course. just a lil chaotic ball of sleep deprivation and rage

lol, fucking THANK YOU though

oh my god what the hell did she do to him lol

did she shoot him with her elbow??? fucking look at this?? THIS IS WHY WE LISTEN TO HAWKS oh my god Deku are you dead

WHAT’S HAPPENING, IS THIS GOOD OR BAD, WHO’S WINNING

things that I wish I could tell from this panel which I unfortunately cannot tell

did she stab him or shoot him?? can you imagine if it was the former lol. why does Horikoshi keep stabbing all my kids. look Kacchan now the two of you can match

did she actually hit him or did he get away??

or did she hit him and then he jumped away?? just, what

well anyway, so now Deku is asking her why she sided with AFO, but he seems a lot more pissed off than when he was interrogating Muscular, though. probably because she shot him three times. fair enough

oh my god

does Lady have a blog here on tumblr dot com?? -- does Horikoshi have a blog here on tumblr motherfucking dot com?? why do I suddenly feel like this man is out here sneakily reading up on all our discourse

oh my god Deku it’s almost like getting up close and personal with someone who can shoot custom bullets from any distance and any position with deadly accuracy was a terrible fucking idea

IF ONLY SOMEONE HAD WARNED YOU NOT TO ENGAGE WITH HER AT ALL COSTS. IF ONLY SOMEONE HAD HAD THE FORESIGHT TO DO THAT sob. can you imagine how much shorter this series would be if characters actually listened to Hawks. Hawks, and Momo. why do we even let anyone else run the show ever

OH MY GOD

DEKU, RUN

OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING

this looks a lot like what happens to me whenever I play One’s Justice. those fucking combo attacks that you can’t fucking escape from and so your character just has to stand there getting their ass whalloped repeatedly while you wonder why you paid $40 for this

but anyways though. so Lady who did you kill?? I bet they deserved it, don’t worry I forgive you

(ETA: ANYWAY SO FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT LADY NAGANT DID NOTHING WRONG EVER IN HER ENTIRE LIFE. aside from murdering all those innocent people and shit. but there were CIRCUMSTANCES, and THEY WERE EXTENUATING, OKAY.)

-- holy shit

looks like the HPSC arc is back on the menu boys

so are we about to learn that the HPSC was going full Hydra on people’s asses? secretly dispatching anyone they deemed a threat to society?? “taken care of” as in you fucking shot them??

so then was the “hero” she killed actually one of the guys who was giving or carrying out these orders?? holy shit Lady, up until now I’ve mainly just been stanning you for your flawless eyebrow game and metal af quirk, but this shit could actually get real very quickly, and I am prepared to genuinely and sincerely love the shit out of you depending on what we learn next about your backstory

oh my god?!?

so wait, hold up. am I reading this right?? basically the HPSC started murdering vigilantes because they were worried they were gaining too much of the public’s favor?? holy fucking shit???

oh my GOD oh my god

“it’s been a while since I scarred you all with the dead dog and the graphic slaughter of an entire innocent family, huh,” Horikoshi says thoughtfully. “anyway so what do you all think of my new creation, the Spaghetti Bullet.” well, Horikoshi, so you know that squished-up face that Kermit the Frog makes sometimes? yeah. that’s what I think, if you must know lol

holy hell the juxtaposition

I’m actually kind of surprised to learn she had a lot of fans? what with her M.O., I was expecting her to have been an underground hero like Aizawa, but apparently not? then again I still have absolutely no idea how any of that works. I really need to read Vigilantes already

oh snap

nothing like a sweet dose of assassin trauma to finally round out our BnHA Trauma Bingo!! well done guys, we finally collected all of the traumas! hooray!

noooo Ladyyyyyyy

holy shit what a fucking chapter. like, this man promised us an assassin, and went and fucking delivered. I was not expecting it to be this dark, lol, but holy shit I am here for it

you know, at some point you have to start questioning the logistics of this, though

I mean, how do I put this... her quirk isn’t exactly subtle. that murder scene from a few pages back looked like the first season of Dexter for fuck’s sake, that’s not exactly “disappearing” people now is it?? and I mean, her bullets are literally made from her own fucking hair; it seems like it would be impossible not to leave any evidence behind. did no one start to wonder who the fuck was going around murdering all these people? or did the people who asked too many questions wind up getting conveniently “disappeared” themselves??

and hey, speaking of asking too many questions

holy shit is he blackmailing her??!? or no, wait -- what the hell is he reaching for in his pocket boy you better not

(ETA: what exactly was this man expecting fdslkjd. “uh oh my unstoppable hair trigger assassin who is literally always armed is asking questions, better announce that I am going to shoot her and then reach into my pocket veeeeeery slowly while she stands there all of two feet away.” how did this guy ever function as the head of a shadow government with these decision-making skills, I’m genuinely baffled.)

OH MY GOD LADY YES

this. right here. is why “run the fuck away” was damn good solid fucking advice. oh shit. but my god did this dude have it coming

so wait lol has she just been narrating all of this out loud to Deku this entire time

okay but can we just stop for a moment and appreciate the fact that they’re having this deep conversation about the dark secrets of hero society right in the middle of their intense mid-air sniper free-for-all lol

holy shit you guys, Nagant’s the one that should have made the tell-all video. I mean, no offense to you, Dabi, I’m sure you worked very hard on your video and did a ton of crunches every day so that you would look good with your shirt off while you told the world all about how your dad was a jerk. but seriously...

this is already like 100x more convincing than what he put out. also, gasp, is it another flashback

yes it is oh my gosh

so the HPSC Chairladyperson whom ReDestro killed used to be this guy’s direct subordinate, huh? I wonder if she kept the whole assassin program going after she took over. can’t say I was feeling any particular kind of grieving way about her death before, but certainly not now lol

but unfortunately Nagant has finally lost me at the same place where all of the villains inevitably do, which is to say when they somehow make the dubious mental leap from “society sucks and is bad” to “let’s just be openly fucking evil lol, worth a shot.” because when heroes murder innocent people and cover it up, that’s obviously bad (and I mean, it absolutely fucking is lol, don’t get me wrong); but when villains murder innocent people straight up out in the open without giving a fuck, they’re righteous revolutionaries? just -- is there really no non-murdery middle ground here?? I guess that’s what Deku and co. are for, hopefully

anyways oh shit Deku seems to have spotted something?? and he’s doing something weird with Blackwhip what

oh, he spotted her, I guess

lmaooooo

new favorite Deku panel right here. a masterpiece

oh my god you guys our little boy is starting to grow up before our eyes

you love to see it. and you can tell with those elipses that he’s gearing up to say something really cool and determined and badass like the shounen protag he is, yes please, Deku ilu so much please do your thing

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

IS THAT A TEENY TINY LIL EYE SPARKLE THERE OMG. still not anywhere close to his usual standard, but that’s some clear resolve there in his eyes there at long last! it always shines the most clearly when he’s being true to himself and his ideals, so I love that it finally shows up again here, when he’s reaffirming his resolve to help others no matter what

uh oh so what’s Lady going to do now

is it time for a trump card?? kinda sounding like it’s time for a trump card

???

I lied btw, this is my new favorite Deku panel. but anyways what is she up to now lol

ohhhhhh, lol

why does she seem shocked, lol. here I thought this was part of her plan, but apparently she forgot all about ol’ “Look Ma, No Hands” back up there

and so I guess that’s it for this week! so we’ve learned basically everything now about Lady and her quirk and her history with the HPSC and why she agreed to work for AFO. pretty much the only question that still remains is why the hell she decided to drag this asshole along for the ride! because I still cannot figure that out dsklkjlkf

(ETA: actually now I’m kind of wondering if they maybe have some past connection we don’t know about yet. when exactly was Nagant sent to Tartarus? is it possible she was ordered to track down and kill Overhaul at some point before that, but never got around to it? or something else along those lines? idk but now I’m curious.)

anyways Deku, I know that your empathy has no bounds and that you’re on a “saving villains” kick right now, and good on you... but also, if you decide to just like, skip all of that shit just this once, absolutely no one will hold it against you, I’m just saying. just, all I’m asking here is maybe let’s think twice before we start trying to reform guys who imprison and torture little girls for profit. I think maybe that’s a good place to draw the line. next week is going to be a very interesting chapter lol

#bnha 314 #lady nagant #midoriya izuku #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

255 notes · View notes

aphrodite-made-me-write-it · 3 years

Text

Revelations: XIV

Part Two: Steep to the Freezing

(A/N) hey hey, ho ho, im off tomorrow because of snow! anyway, I’m still working on requests. Sorry I’m slow, I think I’m just a perfectionist. I love all of you sm. and google docs is being an ass so i had to copy everything word for word here so if there’s spelling mistakes, its because i am anger. I have over 40 pages of this bitch and i legit have to just. copy them onto tumblr dot com like a savage. guess i could always make a new doc but jfc can my low attention span handle it? anyway happy sungay, please pay patronage to ur local sapphic goddess by gaying over at least one woman today. This chapter is short bc it’s kind of a filler chapter but the next one has fun, sexy fighting xoxo

♫ ♫ ♫

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Hella flashbacks this round; Graphic Depictions of Death Bro, like fr fr i’m not kidding this time; I put most of the warnings in CH1 so they’re mostly the same.

Pairing: Diana Prince / Wonder Woman x F! Reader

Chapter Word Count: 4,815

Total Word Count (so far): 15,110

Synopsis (of this chapter): Pieces of the past slowly fall into place; you’re starting to feel some real confusing emotions about Diana; you meet Diana’s Goth Himbo friend.

| I | II | III | IV | more coming soon |

ma’am who gave you the RIGHT

"She's clearly a metahuman," Bruce drawls, as if the information may as well have been exposed on a neon sign above your head. You'd think a guy so rich would be cheerful, but Bruce Wayne is anything but. The guy is practically the poster-child for brooding, despite being a fully grown man. "But she's definitely... weird."

"Gee, thanks," you gripe sarcastically.

"I'd need a DNA sample to-"

"No!" It comes out unbidden, harsher than youv'e spoken before. It makes Diana and Bruce look at you with blatant surprise. Your heart is hammering in your ears, a wardrum to the tremble in your bones. A fear so sharp, so natural, they may as well have been threatening to cut you open without anesthetic.

You aren't quite sure what caused the gut-reaction. It was so sudden, it surprised you as much as it had them. It's a feeling so intense, so immediate, it's indisputable. A repulsion that makes your entire body want to curl into itself - so tight into a coil that you turn into nothing.

Diana places a hand on your shoulder; the action is so natural, so instinctive, neither of you really register it. "That doesn't seem to be an option," she informs Bruce with a tone that leaves little room for argument.

Bruce sighs. "Well, do you at least know what the facility was called, or who ran it?"

You pause, thinking hard despite the panic that had scrambled your thoughts into incoherency just moments ago. The fear is still gripping your chest, but with Diana beside you literally expelling support, it's a little bit easier to sort through the mess. "I think... I think I saw, 'A-R-C' a few times."

"ARC?" Bruce repeats, a scowl taking place over his features.

"You've heard of them?" Diana inquires curiously.

"I have..." Bruce confirms, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "Well, they're listed as a DNA research facility, but a few tabloids-"

"I thought you hated tabloids?" Diana chuckles.

"I do, but" he clears his throat, "when tabloids talk about things like the CEO going on tangents about angels and demons being on Earth? I consider myself a little bit invested."

"And you know the CEO?"

"Not personally, no," Bruce shakes his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. "But I know his name. Doctor Phillip Richman. He's got very little documentation outside of his doctorate - a practical ghost in the system."

You think Diana asks something like, "How is that possible?" but your mind is suddenly disconnected. It's like the name has broken through something in your mind, flooding it with memories that don't quite feel like your own. As if you were watching them from afar.

- - - -

"Oh, little one," the man kneels down until he's eye-level. The October air has brought an early chill of the oncoming winter, meaning your thin clothes provide little protection against the wind-chill. Your skin is red and raw from it; cracking in some places, bleeding in others. "You're all alone out here?"

Shyly, you nod. You are alone, yes. You always have been.

"Don't you have a mommy and a daddy?" He asks, something like concern in his voice. Even this young, it sounds off; like he's trying to make himself sound empathetic, but there's something else hidden far behind his words.

There's an intensity in his eyes. Something hungry that, honestly, scares you at first, but you've never experienced such kindness from a stranger before. "No," your tiny voice is just a squeak, tightened by the chill and by the emotion that's suddenly gripped you.

The man nods, seemingly thoughtful for a moment. As a child, you can't help feeling special when a grownup talks to you - especially when you've had so few be as kind to you as this stranger is.

"My name is Doctor Richman," he introduces slowly. "I help little boys and girls like you all the time." He holds his hand out for a shake, like you're a grownup too, so you take it without hesitation.

"I'm (Y/N)."

"Well, (Y/N)," Doctor Richman stands, but doesn't release your hand. "How would you like to come be my very own assistant?"

"You're going to take me home?" It's achingly disbelieving. Eager to escape a life on the streets, this man’s every word is something to take as seriously and literally as Gospel.

“I am,” he confirms, a smile on his face once more. It’s bright, deceivingly so - as if you’d make his entire world by saying yes.

As a seven year old, such a smile is enough to make the worries evaporate. This is a stranger, yes, but he is offering you a life better than you’d ever experience like this. Your ‘yes’ is easy, but that doesn’t mean it’s not regrettable.

- - - -

Someone is calling your name. Reality finds its way to you with a harsh rush, your hand clutching Diana’s like an anchor. You’re trembling, breathing erratic.

“What happened?” Diana asks worriedly.

“I-” your throat tightens. “That was him. He- I was-” you’re struggling to speak and breathe at the same time. The emotions are so confusing, so overwhelming, that your abilities to think and speak halt entirely.

“Breathe, darling, breathe,” Diana urges, her fingers combing through your hair with one hand and the other squeezing you gently. You feel her concern as sharp as a knife.

“I was... I was just a kid when he- when-” you explain meekly, shame washing through you. How could you have been so stupid? Don’t all kids have that natural sense of stranger danger? “Oh, god- I just let him take me...”

“I assume, then,” Bruce speaks up, interrupting your spiraling and reminding you suddenly of his presence. “‘AOC’ could be ‘Age of Capture’.”

You wince, stomach turning. “I was so stupid-”

“No,” Diana interrupts sharply. “You are not stupid. You were a child. Seven years old. You could not have known better. You should never blame yourself for the trauma that was forced upon you.”

“Diana is right,” Bruce affirms, though consoling doesn’t appear to be his strongsuit. He’s trying, at least, and that you can appreciate. “And that means that if you were filed as missing, we could locate some relatives of yours.”

You look down at your hands, forcing your fingers to loosen from Diana’s just a bit. She hadn’t complained about your unusual strength, but you still felt bad for somewhat crushing them. “I don’t think so,” you say quietly. “I didn’t... I didn’t have parents. I don’t even know my last name.”

Diana’s heart breaks; you feel it through your empathic bond in a violent wave. There’s a tenderness, too, in the way she curls her fingers in your hair, that keeps you from speaking out about not needing her sympathy. You sink into the feeling of her, a moth drawn to a flame.

“I understand,” Bruce’s tone takes on a surprisingly genuine softness. “I’ll see what I can do. maybe contact Victor for this one.”

“Let me know,” Diana implores gently. Bruce nods and stands with a sigh.

“See you soon, ladies,” he nods curtly and makes for the door.

Long after he leaves, Diana fixes you with a cautious expression. “Are you alright?”

You nod numbly. Diana, naturally, does not buy it. She doesn’t even need your powers to see right through you.

“Come on,” she pulls you to the couch in her living room. You sit down reluctantly, nervous of the close proximity of her. “You’ve told me a lot about what’s happened to you,” Diana begins slowly, “but you haven’t said a word about how you feel.”

You gape at her. “I- how I-?”

“Friends hare things with each other, like feelings,” Diana explains, that smile on her lips that could honestly make you do (and admit to) anything.

You open your mouth, then shut it. You aren’t sure how you feel, to be honest. It’s impossible to articulate. If only you could just show her....

Wait. Maybe... maybe you can?

It’s one of those things that feels natural, much like flying; as if you’d done it so many times that the action is second-nature. Something as obvious as the fact that, just a day ago, you’d been dead. You reach out and offer your hand, palm facing up.

“Can I just show you?” You ask timidly.

Diana eyes your hand skeptically. “Will this be like what you feel in others?”

You shrug. “No idea. Probably.”

Diana, in that split moment, decides it’s worth a shot and takes your hand. You close your eyes as the rush of energy floods your whole being. It’s like a dam has split apart, your powers frighteningly out of your control. Rivers connecting, becoming singular. Each emotion is passed between you, slowly, purposeful. You try to convey the fear you have; that not knowing is the worst part about all of this. The way your body - and mind - seem to know things that you don’t. Your very own body is the enemy.

Diana inhales sharply, shock reverberating through the bond. This is how you see me?

You nearly jump back at the way the thought transfers to your mind. How did you do that?

You’re doing it, too. You can imagine the smile on her face, but her image in front of you is blurred by whatever it is that’s passing between the both of you. as if some switch had been flipped, each emotion is passed between you wordlessly, seamlessly, purposefully.

Diana jolts back abruptly, the lack of contact feeling like cold, bitter winter. you open your eyes to find that she’s looking away tearfully.

“I’m sorry,” you fold your hands in your lap, focusing hard on the way your fingers lock together. “I thought it would be easier to...”

“It was,” she confirms, clearing her throat and wiping at her eyes. “I apologize, I just- it was very beautiful.” Her smile is genuine, brilliant, beautiful. “Thank you for showing me.”

“But you’re crying.”

“They’re happy tears.” She explains. “That’s all.”

Do eyes have so much fluid that they simply must leak for every emotion?

- - - -

“Where will you sleep?” You frown when Diana leads you back to her bedroom. She’d meant to go shopping after Bruce had left, but you’d seemed so shaken up and honestly what you’d shown her left Diana a bit rattled herself. So, she opted for staying inside with you - at least for the rest of today.

“My couch is comfortable,” Diana assures, but you shake your head.

“I don’t want to kick you out of your own bed, Diana.”

“What do you suggest, then? Would you like to share?” It’s a bit teasing, but you immediately nod.

“Better than you hurting your back, and you obviously won’t let me sleep on the couch, so...” You cross your arms, giving her an expectant smile.

Diana tosses her hair over her shoulder with a throaty chuckle. “I suppose you’re right.”

“Great,” you uncross your arms and bounce a bit in place. “I don’t think I’ve ever slept alone before, anyway.”

“Oh, really?” The teasing edge of her voice makes you blush.

“I mean- I think... well, it was a large place... I wasn’t the only one there, clearly.” You cough awkwardly. “And... you make me feel safe.”

How could Diana possibly say no to that?

You still aren’t used to how nice her bed is. The softness of it, the warmth. You curl into it with a sigh, the blanket deliciously cozy. Diana lays on the other side of the bed, watching you with a dazed expression.

Once you’re finally settled in, and you catch onto her watching, you ask, “What?”

“Nothing,” Diana’s soft smile makes your body thrum. “Nothing at all.”

- - - -

She comes in spring, when life around the facility is flourishing. The woods surrounding the area are teeming with wildlife, all of which are perfect subjects for experimentation. You hated hurting the animals, but if you didn’t obey, they would do far worse to you.

You can tell, instantly, that she is unlike the others. Most kids they bring in have the same emptiness to them. From years on the streets, years with abusive families, mostly everyone comes here just a little broken.

Not her.

She’s a spitfire of a girl, spewing curse words you’ve never even heard before as she twists in the iron grip of the guards. Maybe it’s the dark waves of her hair or the piercing blue of her eyes that catches your attention, but the moment she has it, you know at once that she will never lose it.

Her anger rolls off of her in waves, cataclysmic. She is a walking hurricane, but you’re inevitably drawn to this disaster. You introduce yourself, that first day, but she ignores you. For days, no matter how hard you try, she doesn’t so much as spare you a glance when you’re in the mess hall or recreational rooms.

It isn’t until she returns from one of the experiments, looking shaken and lost, that she finally lets you sit beside her. She lingered on the edges of the training room, back against the wall. You told her of how you’d come here, how it might seem bad but it isn’t always terrible. She doesn’t share that opinion, of course, but your presence eases the pain, after some time; you feel happier, too, as hours bleed into days into weeks into months. Less like you’re just taking it day by day, surviving, and more like you’re actually alive.

“One day,” she promises, “we’re gonna get out of here, and I”m gonna show you the world.”

And you believe her.

- - - -

Diana wakes to your body shaking in silent, wracking sobs. You’re at the very edge of the bed, as if putting space between you and Diana would compensate for your inability to sleep or calm down. It’s obvious that you’re trying to hold back on the emotions spilling from you, but it’s equally obvious that it isn’t working.

The brunette turns over, reaches out silently before hesitating slightly. She doesn’t want to make this worse for you, doesn’t want to cross whatever boundaries lay in the empty sheets between you. Instead, the idea of reaching out with a feeling comes into her mind. Could she focus so hard one a singular emotion that it would pull you out of this? There’s no harm in trying, she supposes.

It works; her concern and patience burst through the dark waters that had taken over your mind. A hand reaching, grasping, pulling - you breach through the surface, gasping for air. You turn over to face her, eyes wide and cheeks wet with tears.

Diana doesn’t even think twice before opening her arms invitingly. The question isn’t so much asked, as it is felt, and you wiggle into them with little hesitation. You curl into her embrace, letting the spring of her presence melt away the bitter winter of your terror. She begins to rub slow, soothing circles on your back, not speaking a single word.

She won’t ask, and you know she won’t despite the curiosity burning within her.

“How can I be so sad,” you ask in a hoarse, broken voice, “over something I didn’t even know I’ve lost?”

Diana’s spirit seems to mirror the sentiment; pain reverberating off of her. “Loss is loss, I’m afraid.” She answers wisely, her own heart clenching.

“When will it stop hurting?”

“When you are able to let go.”

You bury yourself in her shoulder, hearing the distant thundering of her own heartbeat. It’s so fast - is she alright? You attempt to search for the answer, but a yawn makes you lose concentration.

“Is this okay?” You inquire sleepily.

“Of course it is,” Diana hums, sounding a bit tired herself.

You sigh, wrapping one of your own arms around Diana’s waist. She’s so pretty and soft. Why is she letting you do this? Why is she so kind? There’s something familiar about this feeling, something so, so important it almost keeps you up. Sleep conquers all, in the end, coming all too easily in the arms of this gorgeous woman who saved your life.

- - - -

Diana had left you alone in her apartment while she found you some proper clothes. “I can’t keeping calling out of work,” she’d said, “and you can’t hide in here forever. You have to experience the world!”

The idea of it is daunting, admittedly. you’ve felt somewhat cooped up in here, but not in the way you felt trapped in the Facility. That place had felt wrong, more of a prison than whatever it was meant to be. Being in Diana’s apartment, though, felt like safety. You feel nothing short of content to remain here, so long as Diana is with you.

But now that she isn’t, you feel sort of... lonely. You keep looking at the clock to see how long she’s been gone. Half an hour gone already, and she’d said it would be two hours. Piece of cake.

The city beyond the windows is a wide landscape, a vast maze ready to explore. You imagine experiencing life out there, wondering what normal people are like and how you’re going to pretend you’ve been walking among them your whole life rather than experimented on like a lab rat.

With no memories, you’re suddenly itching to make some new ones. The mindless television doesn’t help much; after she’d taught you how to use Netflix, you’ve spent too much time watching action movies where the heroes always win and the bad guys go away forever - or, at least, until the sequel.

Approaching the hour-and-a-half mark without Diana, you start to zone out. Something happens on the TV, but you aren’t exactly sure what it was. The memories crawl from the shadows, as always, when you least expect them.

- - - -

“Please, don’t do this!” You beg, struggling against your restraints. The tank surrounding your head lets out a low hum, water beginning to spill out of the tubes on either side. It rises quickly to your chin. “Please, please, please-”

“Relax, D-14. You’re one of our best. You should handle this test no problem.” The nurse assures, the water quickly rising past your lips. You try to adjust your head to avoid the inevitable, but it’s useless. “You’ve survived every other.”

It isn’t quick, and it isn’t painless. It hurts, it burns, your lungs ache. And then, there is nothing.

When you open your eyes again, it is to a dark world far from the one you’d just left. You take slow, deliberate steps down an invisible path that calls to you. Your bare feet find it without thought, the sound of water echoing around you like a cave. You see no others, but you can feel them. There is pain, and there is suffering, but there are others.

Darkness. It’s the darkness that scares you most. There are creatures there, waiting, watching. If you step off the path, they will surely devour you.

Out of nowhere, you see a woman up ahead. She wears a beautiful white gown, golden wings folded against her back. Her skin is smooth and dark, amber eyes full of mirth when they meet yours. A merciful smile pulls at her lips as she reaches for you, fingers touching your cheek with the tenderness of a mother.

“It isn’t your time,” she says, but her mouth doesn’t move. Even so, the words reverberate into the vast nothingness all around you.

“I can’t go back there,” you rasp. “Please-”

“You are more important than you know,” the woman frowns, the expression looking incredibly out of place on her delicate features. Silver hair spills over her shoulder as she tilts her head sympathetically.

How can I be important if he keeps killing me?”

“You,” her hand falls to your shoulder, squeezing it softly. “You are unlike the others. He does not know what he is toying with, what cards of fate he is pulling for himself.” She pauses. “And he does not know who you are.”

“Who am I?”

Her smile widens. “You will know, one day. But today is not your time.”

She leans forward to plant a kiss on your forehead. Once more, you’re blurring through realities - crossing boundaries that feel both familiar and foreign.

You wake up to the water draining, your lungs burning as you sputter for air. The machine is humming again, but you pay it no mind. Everything is removed slowly, piece by piece.

“Alright, D-14,” the nurse picks up a clipboard, flips it to the first empty page. “State your name, your age, and what you witnessed ADE.”

- - - -

Diana finds you curled into a ball, one of the blankets she’d left on the sofa for you wrapped tightly around your body. You look so achingly small, she nearly drops the bags to run to you. She sets them down as gently as she can manage, locking the door before slowly approaching you. She walks with cautious purpose, as if you were a wild animal on the verge of running.

You didn’t hear her enter, but your attention hones in on her presence when she lays a hesitant hand on your arm. You uncurl yourself to face her.

“What’s wrong, sweet one?” She asks softly.

You shake your head, avoiding her gaze. “Nothing.”

“You are an awful liar.” Diana notes, sitting down on the floor so that she can meet your eyes. “Come on, spit it out.”

“I died before, too,” you whisper. “A lot of times, I think.”

Diana’s fear spikes between you. “What?”

“I think... I think that’s what ARC does. It kills people... and brings them back.”

Disgust and fury radiate from Diana in a headed flame. “Why would they do that?” She demands, unable to hide the raw anger from her tone.

You shrug, but the action is sort of jerky when you’re still laying on one side. “I don’t know,” you admit quietly. “But I think it’s why I’m... y’know,” you gesture vaguely to your body. “Like this.” Powers that had seemed like a blessing, ones that you enjoyed using, suddenly feel... wrong. A great burden forced onto your shoulders.

“Do you think that’s how you died the last time?” Diana asks, hand drifting down to your own. You let her toy with your fingers, reveling in the unidentifiably tender emotion that flows from the contact.

“I don’t think so,” you say at last, shaking your head. “I don’t- I don’t think they meant for that to happen.” You sit up slowly, exhaling a shuddering breath. “I don’t think I was supposed to come back. I have to show you something, but- just- don’t, uh, freak out, okay?”

Diana frowns skeptically, moving to join you on the sofa now that you’ve given her the room to do so. You turn away from her and carefully ease down a shoulder of the gown she’d given you. You hear her soft inhale, feel a spark of something heated igniting within her not unlike the prior softness, but she quells it as you reveal your upper back.

Where your wings would join is a vicious looking scar. With a jolt, Diana realizes it’s the entry point of the one on your chest. It looks oddly like a compass, the center of it being where the bullet must have entered. Diana reaches out to it, in awe of the way it seems branded into your skin. The scarred tissue isn’t raised, as most would be of such severity. It’s smooth to the touch, shiny, as if were some kind of eternal symbol of your unintended survival.

You look over your shoulder at her, suddenly dazed by the gentleness of her touch. There’s that heated something again, an emotion that makes you want to squirm under Diana’s dark gaze. Her plump lips are pursed thoughtfully, fingertips just barely brushing the sensitive skin of your scar. You’ve felt this heat before, this... want. You just can’t remember when or where or whom, but you know this feeling.

Your lips part, your body slowly facing Diana’s once again. The scar on your chest looks like the sun, also embedded in your skin as if to forever remind you of your damnation to this world. You think her eyes dart downward, but you aren’t sure if it’s at your scar or something else.. “Diana-”

A knock at the door makes the both of you leap apart. You both wear incredibly guilty expressions, though you aren’t really sure why. You adjust the gown again before standing and taking the bags Diana had brought home while she answers the door.

“Bruce, hi!” She greets, sounding a bit strained.

“Did I... interrupt something?” Bruce inquires as you scurry to the bedroom.

You don’t hear the conversation, but you feel Bruce’s amusement and Diana’s embarrassment echo through the halls. You aren’t sure where to put the bags, so you just carefully set them down by teh door and return to the living room with flushed cheeks.

“Well, Vic pulled through. We infiltrated part of ARC’s computer systems, but a lot of it is encrypted. He’s still working on it,” Bruce explains, clearing his throat to clear the tension between him and Diana, who is glaring at him as if looks could kill.

“What did you find out?” You ask timidly, unsure of why you feel like you’re on the edge of something dangerous.

“ARC researches near death experiences,” Bruce follows you and Diana to the seating area; Diana sits close enough to you that you can reach out if you need to, and Bruce takes one of the free armchairs. “According to their data, thirty percent of those killed in controlled environments gain unique, superhuman abilities. Most of them can talk to the dead, or otherwise contact the ‘other side’ if you want to believe that.” Judging by his tone, Bruce does not. “And less than two percent of that thirty percent gain what Richman calls the ‘Seraph Gene’.”

“G-giraffe gene?” You mutter, confused. Diana hides her snort with a polite cough while Bruce groans.

“Seraph Gene. Angels.” He huffs. “Vic is working on those files now, seeing as that’s likely where your information will be, but it’s not easy.”

“So, you really are an angel?” Diana grins, trying to make light of the situation.

“I wouldn’t count on that,” Bruce hums thoughtfully. “Richman is looking for the Ideal Angel. One that’s immortal with healing capabilities. She’s got the wings, sure, but she’s not like you, Diana.”

“We don’t know that,” Diana points out. “She still doesn’t know all of her powers, and she didn’t die in a controlled environment the last time.”

Bruce rolls his eyes, but doesn’t argue. “Well, I wanted to give you an update on that.” He stands, then pauses. “Oh, and another thing: they’re looking for her. They’re combing surrounding cities as we speak. Whatever she is, she’s important to them.”

The fear that tears through you is only doubled by Diana’s. Her hand finds yours, the only thing keeping you from outright spiraling, a determined scowl on her face. “Let them come. They won’t lay a finger on her.”

Bruce raises his hands in surrender. “I just wanted to warn you. If we need to get the League together for this-”

“Yes, that is a wonderful idea. We absolutely should.”

Something tells you that, by the sag in his shoulders, Bruce isn’t accustomed to working with others. He probably hates it, and that’s not surprising from your very few interactions. “Alright, I’ll keep you posted, then. Be careful, you two.” He gives Diana a meaningful look that makes her cheeks erupt in a deep blush. For some reason, this annoys you - which is very unusual, because under any other circumstances, you’d love to see Diana blush.

Bruce leaves you and Diana in aching silence. You keep looking at her like you’re expecting her to explode, but she seems lost in thought. You give her hand a squeeze, pulling her back to the present.

“Those scars...” Diana begins slowly, quietly.

“The last time I died wasn’t controlled. They didn’t think I’d come back at all.” There’s a raw edge of sadness in your voice.

“That must be why they are after you,” Diana nods, squeezing your hand tighter. “Whatever brought you back, must be what Doctor Richman is looking for.”

The thought makes you shudder. Not only from fear, but from anger. A surge of fierce protection and loyalty to whatever it was that brought you back. “They can’t have it,” you growl in a tone very much unlike your own.

“We’ll never let them.” Diana agrees solemnly.

- - - - (Next Chapter) - - - -

Tags! (almost forgot aaa) @nobody13 ❤ @fireflyglass ❤ @swords-are-cool ❤ @artapdarkstr ❤ @aznblossom

#like i think this is the shortest chapter alskdfj #just bc i needed to get some filler in skdfj #i promise the next chapter is better and more exciting #i love u my trash pandas #wonder woman imagine #diana prince imagine #diana prince x reader #wonder woman x reader #wlw imagine #gxg imagine #wonder woman #diana prince

184 notes · View notes

persimnon · 2 years

Note

for ask game: fitz, hiccup (books or movies, whichever), minkowski, and/or the person in your icon idk who that is <3

Ohohoho you spoil me >:)

First up is Fitz, and as I’ve stated before, I know Shannon’s characters better than she does. Most of us do. But Fitz specifically? He is Mine. He is My Character and he lives in My Brain and he is mine to babygirlify and mine to rotate in my head. Nobody gets him like I do. He is everything to me. I could fix him both in the context of the story and outside of it.

Okay so I chose movie!Hiccup because I’m more familiar with the movie franchise and he is also everything to me but I can share. Everyone who watched httyd as a kid is allowed to pass him around like a shared bowl of soup but he’s sososososoososo special to me and all the other gay httyd special interest bitches on tumblr dot com. I did almost put “they work better as part of a dynamic” because I am so partial to toothcup friendship but no. He’s equally fantastic on his own. And he is perfect.

Now we have Minkowski, and tbh I only put that I don’t have much to say about her because it’s been so long since I last listened to w359 but she is my most terrifying loml. She is the asshole whom I will defend to the ends of the Earth (and wherever that damned star is). We’ve got the same control issues and I respect her for that. Most of the fandom seems to have that down. But *I* snagged the cool url for my sideblog, so ha. It is also becoming more evident that I have two different favorite character molds: special little guy I want to put in a jar and keep + wife who will kill me.

This last character, queen of my icon, is Gwen from Ben 10!!! She is so badass and witty and everything I wanted to be when I watched Ben 10 growing up. My 10yo self was also in love with her but I think that’s a given. She was done dirty by fans because the (mostly male) fanbase is criminally horny for the only well-rounded female character in the franchise. I will kill all of them.

This was really fun, thank you Emma!!!

#asks #ask meme

4 notes · View notes

ecoamerica · 2 months

Text

youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

16K notes · View notes

amispnrewatch · 3 years

Text

SPN 1x06 “Skin”

Okay, I’m gonna try to type while I watch this time instead of forgetting this blog exists until the episode is almost over.

You can tell the footage for the previously on segment was saved on a VHS copy instead of the original film that the show was shot with because even in the HD iTunes version I have it looks low quality as fuck. And jumpy in the way that brings me back to my teens watching the WB all the damn time.

I love this song. WTF is this song. Shazam says “Good Deal” by Mommy and Daddy. I… have no comment, except that it sounds like everything I was listening to in college at the time this shit was airing.

Aaaaand not!Dean turns around to face the SWAT team after obviously torturing some woman. THAT is a cold open.

I wanna know what that car is in the background. It’s pretty. Maybe a convertible Impala? They have similar grills. This is not at all important.

Also, I love that with these higher definition versions of the episodes you can see that Sam’s email is lawboy and whatever dot com and that people in the fandom have started calling him Law Boy. It’s hilarious.

DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?

SAM: I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.

DEAN: Oh, so you lie to ‘em.

SAM: No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, tellin’ the truth is far worse.

SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

Aaaaand now I have Dean and Cassie feelings again and we haven’t even gotten to her episode yet.

SAM: No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.

DEAN: Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.

Aaaaaand now I have Dean and Lee feelings and we’re nowhere near Lee’s episode in season 15.

YOU JUST BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN DEAN WTF.

Little Becky. Oi with the reusing of names.

Of course Sam made friends with a bunch of rich kids while he was at college in a desperate attempt to try to be normal.

SAM: You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.

DEAN: We could.

REBECCA: Why? I mean, what could you do?

SAM: Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop. (DEAN laughs.)

DEAN: Detective, actually.

I love that Dean was like “how dare you call me that.”

Okay, after a bit of research, I totally want to take a day trip to Bisbee, Arizona, but it’s already in the 90s here in the desert and it’s not even May so that trip is going to have to wait until… winter or something. There is no way in hell I’m going deeper into the desert when the weather gets hotter.

It’s a historic mining town tourist trap looking place now which is exactly the kind of shit I love.

SAM: Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.

I mean, not technically, technically you would 1) NOT FUCK WITH A MURDER INVESTIGATION YOU’RE NOT LEGALLY INVOLVED IN BECAUSE ANYTHING YOU FIND WOULD BE INADMISSABLE IN COURT 2) find evidence to provide a reasonable doubt for the jury that he did commit the crime. You know, like a lawyer would need to do, Law Boy.

DEAN: I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.

When I made my husband watch this show with me (he’s seen it all at least once now over the years) this is the recurring thing that drove him crazy.

You guys can’t even go in through the back door? Or shut the front door behind you? Really?

REBECCA: (tearfully) Well, there’s no sign of a break-in. They say that Emily let her attacker in.

Yeah, that doesn’t even really mean that she knew her attacker. Just that it was someone she let her guard down around or got in some other way. See: The Son of Sam and Nightstalker, etc.

Love the pinup magnet on the fridge. I’d throw shade at that, but I have a pinup magnet on my fridge too so… pot kettle and all that.

Okay, both people in the next couple are gorgeous.

And oh wow those special effects changing eyes… wow.

This poor couple. I feel so bad for them in this episode.

How… how are the police gonna explain the way he was able to beat himself over the head with a bat??? I…

I love that 5:30 in the morning on TV is clearly like… 10 AM.

Okay, this is a really unrelated point, but the graffiti on the dumpster here reminds me of the Teen Wolf fandoms use of the name Void!Stiles when Stiles Stilinski was possessed by a Nogitsune… I just spent way too long digging through YouTube and my Tumblr tags from back when those episodes were airing looking for a few specific videos and couldn’t find them. The TL;DR reason I bring it up here is goofball, bi-coded main character guy getting possessed by an entity set on destroying the people he loves. SOUNDS LIKE THIS EPISODE AND A WHOLE LOT OF SPN RIGHT. I love that all these monster hunting shows call out to each other.

This scene haunts me years later and I don’t even WATCH Teen Wolf. I just watched the fandom on Tumblr collectively lose it’s shit then tripped down a Hale Pack fanfiction rabbit hole.

ANYWAY

Back to Supernatural, a show that also treated its fan base, cast, and characters like garbage! Huzzah!

DEAN: Well, there’s another way to go—down. (They look down and notice a manhole.)

I’m gonna be mature and ignore the double entendre there…

But I love that Dean thinks of the world in 3D. Which sounds like a dumb statement to make, but this is honestly a good example of that in action.

SAM: I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too.

Really Sam, sewers run by houses? SO WEIRD. I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.

DEAN: You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.

SAM: That is sick. (DEAN puts the bloody pile back on the ground.)

Guys, there is a WHOLE ASS EAR in that pile of yuck you’re looking at. I think it’s pretty safe to assume the shapeshifter indeed sheds its skin like a snake. A much… gooier snake.

Sam’s friend is rightfully pissed at him for fucking with the crime scene.

This is before the pearl gripped guns?! Wow. I never noticed that before.

Also, this whole episode gives me feelings.

++++

Cool. Tumblr mobile ate a whole section of my notes on this when it crashed for NO APPARENT REASON. Love that.

It always boggles my mind that actors can trust the people they’re working with enough to let people “tie” ropes around their neck or put them in actually dangerous positions in a scene.

SHAPESHIFTER: He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?

SAM: Where is my brother? (The shapeshifter leans in close to SAM.)

SHAPESHIFTER: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. (He backs away.)

SAM: What are you talkin’ about?

SHAPESHIFTER: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks. (He laughs.) I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens. (He smiles and covers SAM with a sheet.)

This exchange is just… so much. So many feelings. And I will forever (unless we magically get a fix-it fic mini season someday…) be SO MAD that none of this got resolved in that pointless, trash heap of a finale.

REBECCA: Okay, so, this thing—it can make itself look like anybody?

SHAPESHIFTER: That’s right. (She chuckles.)

REBECCA: Well, what is it, like a genetic freak? (The shapeshifter laughs.)

SHAPESHIFTER: Maybe. Evolution is about mutation, right? So, maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else. (REBECCA looks around, uncomfortable. The shapeshifter’s eyes glint silver, and he smiles.)

It always amazes me how much of this show is a pile of accidental queer allegories parading around in an ill-fitting toxic masculinity suit.

Vulcan mind meld! I love nerd!Dean. Also, I’m rewatching Star Trek: TOS with my husband, because that is what my life amounts to these days, rewatching comfort TV and flailing over the bits I love.

This post does a better job than I can do of pairing up screen caps with the dialogue of this next scene. SIX EPISODES IN. They’re dumping all of this character depth SIX EPISODES IN. FUCK THIS SHOW FOR NOT EMBRACING ITSELF.

Okay, I love that he screams back in her face after he threw the phone. It’s not something to laugh at because the situation is horrifying, but I can’t help laughing at it every time.

AND THE WAY THEY CUT THESE SCENES. Going from him winding his hand back to backslap her directly to him dropping the chains on the table to show how hard he must have hit her without actually making the actors hit each other. Good job editing department!

I… don’t understand the shifter’s motivation for killing people. If he can take over people’s identities without killing them, why kill them? Is it just because he’s a homicidal, rapist piece of shit? Cause that’s all it seems like.

How did the SWAT team even know she was being attacked? Why can the snipers aim no better than Storm Troopers?

Ugh, these kind of transformation body horror scenes are exactly why werewolf stories have never really appealed to me much. Like, I could do without watching your ribs move and teeth fall out, dude.

BUT.

THIS FUCKING SCENE.

I looked up the song that’s playing over shapeshifter!Dean being caught by the SWAT team and then going through the grotesque transformation. (And as far as I know, the iTunes version has the original music from the episodes.)

It’s a song called “Mary” by The Death Riders

Who's your mother, who's your mother here boy // Who's your mother, whos your mommy dear // Who's your father, who's your father here boy // Who's your father, who's your daddy dear

Silently screaming // Where everyone knows // Daddy's always watchin' // Where everywhere - everywhere I go

I don't wanna be a freak show pretty boy anymore // I don't wanna be a full time slave // I don't wanna be your midnight cowboy anymore // I just want to be Mary

This is… a fascinating choice. Here are the rest of the lyrics. The song as a whole has a weird incesty kinda vibe to it? Kinda like when SPN tries to straight-wash itself and misses the mark wildly. (Like Dean’s male siren episode.)

The midnight cowboy line reminded me of 12x11 and the bull riding scene with “Broomstick Cowboy” by Bobby Goldsboro playing over it

Dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy, // Dream while you can; // Of big green frogs, // And puppy dogs, // And castles in the sand.

For, all too soon you'll awaken; // Your toys will all be gone. // Your broomstick horse will ride away, // To find another home. // And you'll have grown into a man, // With cowboys of your own. // And then you'll have to go to war, // To try and save your home.

And then you'll have to learn to hate; // You'll have to learn to kill. // It's always been that way, my son; // I guess it always will.

Because, you know, why not add tons of feelings into the lyrics, right?

Props to the people who can embrace their rewatches and reclamations of the show with ease. Because every episode seems to remind me of how hollow and tragic Dean’s ending was and I just… struggle all over again.

Anyway, back to the episode so I can move on with my day.

REPORTER: An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home. (A sketch of DEAN appears on the screen.)

DEAN: Man! That’s not even a good picture. (SAM looks around cautiously.)

SAM: It’s good enough. (He walks away.)

DEAN: Man! (He follows SAM.)

(CUT TO: Alley. DEAN and SAM are walking. DEAN steps into a puddle.)

DEAN: Ugh, come on.

I love that we get two tiny little back-to-back vanity moments for Dean here. One commenting on the sketch artist rendition of him being broadcasted on the news and the other tripping in the puddle. There is literally someone running around the city trying to kill people while wearing Dean’s face, but Dean is still concerned with how he looks appears to others. He’s still concerned with keeping up his own performance. The shifter left him with just a t-shirt, so he doesn’t even have his usual comfort layers on and at any moment someone could spot him and call the police or try to kill him for assaulting Sam’s friend. His life is wildly out of control in that moment and the only thing he can try to focus on is his appearance (something semi-controllable) and finding the shifter before any of that other shit can happen.

One day I want to put together a like top 10 episodes focusing on / explaining each TFW character from the series. Like the kind of list you could show someone who’s never seen the show, but has OPINIONS about the characters (or who hasn’t seen the whole show and seen the growth they went through… you know, like the people responsible for the travesty of 15x20). This episode would be on that list. I’m not sure how I could manage to make a list of only 10 episodes to understand Dean Winchester by, but eh.

SAM: What are you gonna do to me?

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, I’m not gonna do anything. Dean will, though.

SAM: They’ll never catch him.

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, doesn’t matter. Murder in the first of his own brother? He’ll be hunted the rest of his life. (He picks up a sharp knife and examines it.)

Speaking of season 15 in general, this right here. This was Chuck’s villain story arc thesis statement. AND THEY DROPPED THE GODDAMN BALL WITH IT. I think that’s the thing that honestly pisses me off the most these days (about 5 1/2 months from when the finale aired) is that they tried making the whole thing a tragedy but did such an awful job with it that it just ended up like a deflating condom balloon at a dive bar concert. Disappointing and gross. The finale for season 14 set them up SO FUCKING WELL and it just… didn’t get there.

Becky’s parents are gonna be pissed at how torn up their house is after all this shit…

And you’re not shooting him when you first see him strangling Sam because…?????

I like that he took the necklace back. Also, is this kinda Dean death number .5 of the show? Like it wasn’t him but it was also kinda him. Eh.

At least they left the windshield on Baby this time. Reflections are better than tearing her apart.

#SPN 1x06 #amispnrewatch #reclaiming spn #performing!dean #lawboy #bi!dean #dean x cassie #dean x lee #stiles stilinski #void!stiles #teen wolf #dean deserved better

47 notes · View notes

oceannocturne · 2 years

Text

Spoiler-filled emoting about the new Batman movie (IT WAS SO GOOD YOU GUYS LIKE SO MUCH BETTER THAN I EVEN DARED HOPE FOR)

You can totally see this going from ‘let me list a few things to rant about on tumblr dot com tomorrow!’ to ‘I am having Emotions and must Express’

'Being Vengeance isn't enough. I need to be hope.'

Getting called out for being rich and privileged

HUSH money to a journalist named Elliot...

Penguin having to waddle

Bludhaven

Seeing that violence isn't enough (when crazy radical says 'i am vengeance')

Bruce slowly self-destructing - he's someone i could see relating to Tim's own spiral and wanting to help Dick (also if this is what Bruce was like when Dick came along he would TOTALLY relate to Tim re:trying to stop Bruce from killing himself). Alfred being worried about his self-destruction, trying to help this poor kid not be afraid by teaching him fighting, both of them feeling guilty for Martha and Thomas's deaths

The significance of the kid being the first one to take his his hand

Selina getting her own fleshed-out backstory and arc!

Bruce telling her that killing would make her just as bad as them...he's holding her back because he doesn't want her to lose herself, and i could totally see him trying to have the same conversation with Jason years later

The way the other fatherless kid kept popping up in the narrative and subtly influencing Bruce's action - making a beeline to save him from the car, accepting his help at the stadium. The way Bruce went to the memorial when he's barely shown his face in public for years, almost certainly just because of the connection and empathy he felt for that kid

Bruce assuming the worst in people, and Selina naming that and not outright rejecting him for it

Bruce saying 'youre not my dad' one minute and then having a very repressed Bat-emotional breakdown at Alfred's hospital bed when confessing he cares about Alfred and us as scared to lose him as he was scared after losing his parents

Bruce is a person who loves so deeply and wholeheartedly. It's why he's so repressed, because he's scared of attachment that will hurt him again.

The Batmobile and motorcycle were SICK AS HELL

Built-in grapple gun? So cool.

Video-game tech like the contact lens things? Also rad.

Going around in a hoodie and baseball cap with the grease paint still around his eyes? A+

'Why here?' 'Because I couldn't get you to go there.'

Having staff other than Alfred! A novel concept. Bless this poor woman working in a gothic-nightmare-tower for a well-known recluse.

Edward Nash or whatever? Cowards. It's Nygma

Bruce doing actual detective work! Huzzah!

In the end! Gotham citizens! Recognize him as a hero! As their personal hero! (Or like at least start to)

The guy at the funeral calling bullshit on the Renewal program and on the Gotham elite right to Bruce Wayne's own damn face

All the times throughout the film honestly where people call out Renewal and you can see rusty gears start turning behind Bruce's eyes. Slowly. Slowly turning.

Also going from 'I don't care about my parents' company Batman is the Wayne legacy' to actually going through his dad's Renewal files (B Bruce Brucie-boy why'd you put the whole dramatic chain and padlock on their door my dude). Like you can totally see! Him starting to move in a new direction! You can see him becoming the Bruce that will donate to infrastructure and welfare programs just as much as he hunts down clues and criminals!

I'm just so emotional about the growth in this move like. Yes it's dark as hell. But there is a message of hope at the end! Of moving through grief and not letting it define you! Bruce never gets a 100% answer on who killed his parents. He gets two stories and two 'probably's and then Falcone dies. But by the end you just Know he's going to throw himself into revitalizing the company and pledging all kinds of donations to rebuilding Gotham. He's learning to move beyond not fearing death and beginning to find meaning in life. And y'know, after the city is finally stable and Bruce has run himself ragged, maybe Alfred buys him some tickets to a circus that's come into town, as a way to take a breath after all his hard work...

Also all of Selina's wigs A++ loved them all

Weirdly, Bruce wandering vaguely through the Manor in ragged sweatshirts and those dumb bangs? A Mood. My poor son. Someone give this man a Robin. Or like, a lollipop.

Rat With Wings = Pigeon my Mom ALWAYS said this growing up and now I feel Vindicated #newyork #eastcoast

Bruce having his whole setup in an abandoned Wayne subway tunnel and living in a tower in the city? Refreshing. Original. Solid.

His expressions??? Like when people write about Bruce's smiles being a twitch of his mouth I'm like. Yes. But also I have no idea how to visualize that. But now I do??? Like 90% of the movie he's clenching his jaw and then at the end with Selina his face his somehow softer, even though it's the same expression. He's feeling emotions again!! And somehow Rob Pattinson took what I always figured to be fictional hyperbole and made it real!!!

Oh and going back to the hope thing, like the guy he saved at the subway station at the beginning of the movie was

Also the Riddler calling him out on how Batman is his true self...like I don't know if he was right or not, if what Bruce does as Batman is his 'real self,' but Bruce was definitely on the path of letting 'the mission' consume him

#the batman #batman movie #emms reacts #robert pattinson #robert pattinson batman #batinnson #batinson #can't remember my own spelling lol #zoe kravitz #the batman movie #batman #bruce wayne #sorry for the tag overload I just really want people to yell with about this movie

3 notes · View notes

daisugababy · 3 years

Note

i'm not the same anon who sent you all those asks just want to make that clear before i say what i have to say. i read your responses to these asks and i'm sorry but i have to call you out on what i perceive as hypocrisy. i don't know that you remember that or if it was someone else with a similar url to yours but either way you co-signed the idea that nico was "flirting" with josh, the patient he lost and at the time nico and levi were going strong and committed to one another

Bro, I literally don't know what you're talking about?? In what part of fandom have you been chillin? i asked @schmico-ing @glassesandkim and @pb-nj and none of them have encountered this kind of discourse/idea either. I have never heard about Nico flirting with Josh??? A patient??? While his boyfriend is right next to them, complaining about Nico possibly leaving for that new job?? When would Nico have flirted with Josh? I'm genuinely so confused my dude. Where did you read that? On tumblr dot com? No hate towards you, I am genuinely asking.

i don't know that you remember that or if it was someone else with a similar url to yours but either way you co-signed the idea that nico was "flirting" with josh

i'm pretty sure i didn't co-sign shit. i even checked an di did not entertain once the thought of a josh/nico flirting situation. fandom clown @glassesandkim said they had chemistry, but i'm pretty sure she didn't say that they were actually flirting with each other right in front of Levi, Bailey and Josh's grandpa. That would be really fucking weird.

i remember this clearly happening in the schmico fandom because everyone was trying to justify nico's actions by saying he was grieving

Yes, he was grieving. Because he fucking killed a 21 year old kid due to making a mistake during surgery. There's a difference between losing sb you (barely) know aside from work and making a mistake that kills someone. Nico. killed. someone. He's the reason this 21 old is dead. That shit is traumatizing. Everybody handles trauma differently.

so yeah i'm sorry but it comes across a bit hypocritical to get up in arms about levi entertaining the idea of another guy whenever he and nico are officially broken up and only hooking up

It was pretty clear that they were not broken up anymore, since Nico asked 'so did we break up or...?' While, infuriatingly, we didn't see them get back together onscreen, it is implied that they were back to being a couple. (This is also one of the main issues with Schmico. A lot of things are just implied to have happened through side comments. It makes it more difficult to follow their barely there storyline.)

and to finish off my thoughts on all this levi and nico were not only broken up but levi had been broken up with specifically because nico didn't want to open up, didn't even wanna talk at all

Nico told Levi he couldn't talk about this issue, but Levi kept on pressuring him. This is not the first time that Levi did so, so Nico will open up. Levi clearly did not respect Nico's boundaries and didn't give him the time to process, because he made Nico's trauma about himself. Repeatedly.

this wasn't a mutual split. so i can understand having a bit of emotional whiplash from going to being dumped to fuck buddies to in love and let's move in together.

I get what you mean, but again, Grey's relies heavily on implications when it comes to Schmico. And from them sleeping together (actual sleeping) and comforting each other (the on-call room scene + hand holding in public), it was kinda implied that they were just back together. But tbh I was also still confused until Nico said his 'did we break up or...' line.

i just don't understand why it's ok for nico to run from levi/push him away, last out at him whenever he is hurting/confused/going through it but levi has one second of hesitation, of wondering what it might be like to have an uncomplicated thing with a guy and we're ready to crucify him

Again, Levi kept pestering Nico about opening up. He acted like Nico not being ready to talk about his problems/trauma was a direct attack on him. This wasn't about Nico not trusting him, but Nico just not being to talk about it in general. If you can't respect your partner not wanting to talk about things that don't even involve you personally, then maybe you're not mature enough to be in a relationship. There's always a time and a place to talk about deeply traumatizing things, but I assure you, work is not that place.

My main issue here is just that Nico has always been so, so supportive of Levi. He gave him pep talks, hyped him up, stood by his side whenever Levi needed him, because he knew how to support him. Levi tried to comfort Nico the way he would've wanted to be comforted. But Levi never knew how to do that for Nico and he never asked.

I'm not crucifying Levi, I'm just annoyed, because relationship wise, from what we've seen, Levi is pretty selfish. He barely made any effort to learn how to be there for Nico, it has always been the other way around, always Nico adjusting to Levi's needs.

And yet, Nico always ends up as the bad guy... Hmmm... Very strange.

#schmico #ask #anon

18 notes · View notes

jayshq · 4 years

Photo

So, if you look at my followers I actually have 1,183, but that’s because this hasn’t always been Poe. I started this blog way back on Nov. 8, 2014 as Dean Winchester. It has gone through AT LEAST ten characters since then. So, a lot of these followers are dead accounts or abandoned accounts. However, when I started up Poe on here I made note that I had 1,083 followers. So, this is for the 100 of you that came here for my baby.

So, let’s get the follow forever out of the way. Let me start off by saying I’m going to forget people, I’m human. Also, I don't do very big follow forevers whenever I do them because I firmly believe in only having people who have had a very strong impact on me or Poe should be present on the list. That said, if you’re not on this list you are still very loved.

special mention of @bondforce for making this happen, thanks for being my 100th follower, lol.

REYS:

@dawnsabered : so, despite us not having any threads you’re first on this list because you re-sparked my love of the sequels and made me want to hop into this fandom again. Rping with you on Steve made me just adore the fandom more and more and made me want to bring back Poe. I’m eternally grateful to you for that. I have found such an amazing and welcoming home in this community and I wouldn’t have it without you, I love you loads, thanks a bunch.

@jedirisen : okay, so we met pretty early in and thank god we did. i adore your Rey, but more than anything you’ve been such an incredible friend. You’re always down to plot and create and just talk. You put up with my constant recommendations and are just one of the sweetest humans I’ve ever met. I’m super pumped that we found each other and I hope we have many great years of friendship ahead of us.

@fxrcefound : you’re a babe, you know that? Like, just such a good bean! Thank you for putting up with all my bullshit and being so fucking welcoming. I showed up in the fandom and within the first week we had multiple threads. I adore you, as does my Ben. Love’s his princess wife so much, tbh. But, no honestly I’m so glad I’ve found a friend in you. A gem, truly.

@scavenger-warrior : Ahhhh! Hi, I love you. So, first of all let me just say that our beautiful time leap verse (that all of our followers are currently being deprived of bc discord is so much better lol) is one of my all time favourite verses I’ve EVER done. It makes me so immensely happy and Ben is just in love.

@choosenskywalker : I’m TRASH! I’m so excited for the verses we have started, I’m just awful at replying. But, I really am so excited and I adore your writing, you’re very talented. You’re also super sweet and have the patience of a god. Thank you for being lovely, and I swear I’ll get better because I’m so excited to see where these things go.

@aequusjedi & @killingpast : you guys get a joint one because i love our poly babies despite me being a lazy bitch and not writing much with them yet. Nah, can I just say how excited I was when you joined our group Cas. I’m so excited to see how this develops and watch our babies fall in love. Aside from that though, both of you have been just lovely people OOC. I’m so lucky to have such wonderful partners like yourselves.

BENS:

@sithroyal : hey there! We also met in my early days here, and you’ve been such a joy to write with, no matter what character it’s on. You’re portrayal is one of pure perfection. I love writing with you and any reply always makes me so excited. On top of that you’ve been so kind and inviting and it really meant a lot since I was HELLA INTIMIDATED by you when I first got here.

@endheir : LOOK EVERYONE, IT’S J.J. ABRAMS EVIL TWIN, come to fix all the shit J.J. broke. No, seriously I am so impressed and will never not be intimidated by how amazing you and your writing is! THIS IS THE BEN SOLO WE DESERVED! But, you’re such a peach and so nice and I adore plotting with you. Thanks for being the bomb dot com.

@dyadalone : WE ARE CRACK ROYALTY, thank you very much. No, really though I love when we (and our friends) get up to our shenanigans. But, aside from that Poe is also just IN LOVE! And, I adore you OOC. Such a kind and loving person, you da best! I am so happy we found each other through this hellsite and can’t wait to see what nonsense our future brings.

@brokendyad : HELLO I LOVE YOU! You’re such a solid friend and such a talented writer. I’m so happy we get to have so much fun writing and plotting. You’re an absolute dear and I’ll never get over how lucky I am to have such amazing friends. Thanks for being great and I hope we stay close forever.

@lghtpulled : okay, so i can’t explain my infinite love for you. I can’t. All my characters over here being obsessed over your Ben. I’ve told you how much I adore your Ben, but I can’t say it enough. Also, our high school verse GIVES ME LIFE! But, nah you’re just so talented and SO KIND! I’m so glad that despite being SO FUCKING INTIMIDATED by you we managed to form this amazing friendship. I’m keeping you.

THE FAM:

@kesdameronn : SCARF DAD! No, lol I love that Poe’s dad is around. We haven’t done much yet but we have all the time in the world for the Dameron bros to get up to shit together. Also, Zep you are such a kind and cute soul and I just love ya!

@lieutenantxbey : Mama Dameron, how could we not love? Poe loves his mama so much and lowkey wants to be just like her. I love seeing Shara on the dash. And the few times we’ve spoken you’ve been just a ray of light, so keep being awesome.

@legacybeyne : this little shit! No, I’m kidding, Poe loves his cousin. Like wants to throw him out an airlock sometimes, but loves him. I adore this character so much and I’m so happy Poe has more family around. Also, OOC you seem like a super cool person, so definitely don’t stop that.

LUKE:

@jedishope : SHANE! I don’t know if I could tell you how much I actually adore you? Like, I don’t think I could. And, I low-key don’t want to because it would deffo scare you off, lol. But, no you’re just an absolute ray of sunshine and such a beautiful person. A person only has to talk to you for a second to see how just full or love and kindness you are. You bring so much joy to my dash and I’m forever thankful for it! Not to mention your Luke is hands down the best Luke I’ve ever seen. Absolutely perfect! I was so scared to approach you at first because you were just so fucking talented and obviously still are! I love your Luke with my whole heart and so does Poe.

HUX:

@muddledbloodlines : I am so excited for the verse we’ve created for our lonely babies and can’t wait to see where it goes. You have such an interesting take on this character and I love it! I’m so excited to get to know you better and really explore this. I’m honestly just in love with your writing and imagination.

OCS:

@congeriemgriseo : so it won’t tag you, which is RUDE! But, anyway: I adore Any. Such an incredibly well thought out and beautiful OC. I’m quite picky when it comes to OCs, despite having one of my own. But, I was enraptured from the moment I read her bio, and you have not disappointed! She’s such a beautiful little chaos machine and I love her.

@orderengineer : okay, so I actually usually despise OCs that are really kind. Because as much as Mary Sue characters are fine to write, I personally can’t write opposite them. However, that’s not what Syla is! She’s so much more complex than that and I adore her. Both Ben and Orion find her insanely interesting and think she’s super fucking talented. I love this character you've created. It’s also just insane to see my characters name on the dash lol. You’re also such a sweetheart OOC and it always makes my day.

@petitehux : so for anyone who doesn’t know? I LOVE Kat. Like, I am obsessed, I have 100s of photos of her saved on my phone. I am just in love. Her and Dove Cameron are my two ultimate celebrity crushes. Which was the original reason I decided to check out your blog, and I’m so fucking happy I did. Ryann is so fucking cool and I think she brings such an interesting dynamic to the whole trilogy story. I can’t wait for myself to stop being lazy and get some bomb shit going with this incredible OC.

I’M A STALKER (also we need to rp!):

@hopedyad : I love seeing you on my dash and I adore keeping up with your posts. You’re a super talented writer and I hope in the future I stop being a shy bean and we can actually do cool things lol. You seem super sweet and like you’ve got a wicked sense of humor OOC too.

@tornbetweenthestorm : So, I LOVE FN! It’s so great to see such an interesting OC. I adore the work and thought you’ve put into this character and his struggles. Anytime I stop to read one of your replies to a partner I’m just overcome by your brilliance. I’m so happy I stumbled across your blog (thank you tumblr recs) and have been lucky enough to be mutuals with you.

@iamthecrder : well hello there. So, yeah I think your Hux is super cool and right on the money. It’s so interesting to see a different version of him and I honestly think you’re so incredibly talented! Keep being awesome, my good dude.

OTHER:

@mangohub : Monroe. My love, what can I say? You’ve followed me from my original Alec all the way to here. Despite not being a Star Wars fan you still follow me on multiple of your blogs. I will always love you. I will also never stop being astounded by your talent and world building capabilities. In case there was any confusion, YOU ARE MY FAVOURITE PERSON ON TUMBLR. Also, you are the most talented person I’ve ever followed. I will never stop being so happy to see you, no matter the blog, on my dash. On top of being the most talented writer I know, you also happen to be the sweetest human on the planet. You have so much love in your heart and you pour into your friends like it’s going out of style. I’m so so lucky to have you and I love you, okay?

Obviously I don't talk to you lads enough, but a special shoutout to @poewingsdameron, @lightskipped, , @flyjacket, @sprklit & @vuuelo for playing this amazing bean alongside me.

Okay, now onto the giveaway. So, friendly reminder that I make all my own stuff, so if you want examples of my work just check out across my blogs. That being said, when it comes to graphics, icons, etc I’m not very talented with creating stuff myself, so I use other peoples free templates, borders, psds and so on. I think I’m decently talented at putting them together, though. Also, having me do it just saves you a stupid amount of time lol.

Simply enter by liking AND/OR reblogging, the winners will be chosen using a random number generator. I will contact each of you via IM (or discord if we have each other) to discuss getting to work on the prizes. The only real rule is DO NOT SPAM YOUR FOLLOWERS. I’m not gonna put a limit on how many times you can reblog, but be fucking courteous to your followers, okay? This giveaway ends on APRIL 10th at NOON GMT-6.

1st PLACE: 200 icons of the character of your choosing, a promo & a dash icon.

2nd PLACE: 100 icons of the character of your choosing & a dash icon.

3rd PLACE: 100 icons of the character of your choosing.

#☆☆☆ 𝓱𝓸𝓹𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓾𝓷 | save #☆☆☆ 𝓳𝓸𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓮 | promo #100 followers #follow forever #(i love you all a lot okay?)#(and im so thankful for everyone who's joined me on this ride)#(this is long af)#(i dont believe in just tagging people and not telling them why they rock so...)

35 notes · View notes

kaiavaroe · 5 years

Text

So, I was thinking about it earlier and decided to come out and make a long post about who I am and why I supported Onision for so long. This is a long post but I think it’s worthwhile reading.

My name is Gen, I’m 16 years old, and I used to be morbidly obese. I’m 5’3” tall and I used to be 250+ lbs. I currently hover right around 150 and will probably be about 135 once I have loose skin removed. I lost all that weight in roughly two years after pretty consistent gaining. I work hard consistently to keep it all off and it will be a struggle I have for my whole life. But how does this tie into Onision?

Well, you guys all know his schtick. He trashes on depression, fat people, meat eaters, and people with mental disorders. I struggled with my ED (binge eating disorder, food addiction, in addition to depression) from the age of about 6 to 14 due to some trauma that’s too personal for tumblr dot com. I went to doctor after doctor, specialist after specialist, and nothing helped. Medicine made me feel like a zombie and I snuck food in any way I could. It’s embarrassing but I did a lot of really shitty things to get what I wanted. It was a full blown addiction and I was a kid struggling. I found Onision’s videos one day when I was on youtube. I still remember it because I was literally eating a full bag of mini powdered donuts and I felt sooo disgusted with myself when I watched him rate girls with my dream bodies and tell them they were fat. I should mention that through all my mental issues I was never unpopular at school. I actually had a decent amount of friends and most people weren’t mean to me. Seeing Onision tear girls apart like that made me feel like trash.It really hit me then that was how people saw me. They saw me as fat, useless, gross. I can’t find the video that made me feel this way and honestly I don’t want to watch any more of his videos than I have to, so sorry.

Anyway, I ended up following Greg religiously along with a few other Youtubers. He wasn’t the only one and he was far from the ONLY reason I got in order. His “brutal honesty” struck a chord with me though. I lost a lot of weight. I was full vegan for a while, now I’m more of a flex-atarian because I’m working on gaining muscle mass and stuff. Anyway, I began to see people like Greg does. I judged people. I believed what he said about his personal life because he helped me. No one had helped me that successfully before, so I took every word he said as truth.

I found the Anti-O community by accident. I had a personal tumblr where I documented my ED and the challenges I faced (and a lot of Miraculous Ladybug stuff lol). I stumbled across the anti community when I was on the onision tag here (I’d never looked at his tag on tumblr before). I made Pronision as a side blog. On my main I had a lot of personal information. School, full name in a post or two, etc. I was stupid and reblogged some stuff to the wrong place and someone sent me a message on my main. No, I don’t know who and even if I did I wouldn’t say because it doesn’t matter. I panicked, deleted the whole tumblr, and remade my blog. I continued to be volatile while defending someone who didn’t deserve it. A lot of people said horrible things to me and I flipped the fuck out lmao. I hate when people blame mental illness for them being a shitty person but…. Idk I feel like it put me into a deep depressive slump. It was rough and stupid and I did it to myself. I haven’t deleted anything from my blog from that time, so I could go check and give a play-by-play of how I was feeling, but honestly I just don’t want to. Basically, I realized the guy who helped me out of a lifelong ED (which I had been professionally treated for 2 years for) was a piece of garbage. You guys know the rest because I’m here now, but I wanted to rant about this a little.

Onision is a shitty person who hurts a lot of people. I think he even hurt me some. I became mean and condescending when I followed his views. I see that it’s not right now and I’m working to improve myself and to think more critically moving forward. I maintain that some of you guys are assholes, but I was/am one too. Onision helped me and I defended him. I don’t regret it though because, in the long run, the experience changed me for the better. Please remember, for every “pronision,” there’s a teenage girl hiding behind the account, most likely clinging to Greg as a form of validation.

Thanks for reading if u made it this far xoxoxo

#me #personal #eating disorder #binge eating #onision #long post

34 notes · View notes

janiedean · 6 years

Note

(1) Can I just say I hate all this Freddie Mercury biopic wank with a passion? Like, this hellsite went from "Queen is one of those boring 'classic' bands all whites are obsessed with bc they won't even consider new music by diverse artists u.u" to "WWRY is clearly a song about rebellious queer youth, cishets don't touch Queen u.u" after someone pointed out Freddie's ethnicity and sexuality, to "why aren't they making Freddie gay in the biopic!!!11" and... whatever they're whining about now.

(2) And I HATE looking at all this bs and thinking "fake fans", bc I'm pretty damn sure that by most standards, *I* count as a "fake fan", too. I mean, most stuff I know about the band's history is actually stuff about Freddie, thanks to a few documentaries centered around him and my mom, the long-time fan with a big crush on Freddie who introduced me to Queen when I was a kid. Hell, I couldn't even name all their albums or anything needed to be considered a "true fan". But ppl on here... ugh. (3) It's like they're really embarrassed bc they were called out on mistaking "woke" stuff for "unwoke" stuff, and now they have this desperate need to prove their ability to discern wokeness by getting offended about something they don't even care all that much about, as loudly and dramatically as they can.

HAHAHAHAHA.

okay so, tldr: I hate this discourse and I honestly hope that it dies within two weeks out of the biopic for a whole lot of reasons amongst which the ones you said, but like, this discourse actually highlights a shitload of issues with the usual tumblr discourse which I will gladly go into now because I’m fucking tired and this movie isn’t out yet.

now, premise: while I don’t think that true fans are a thing - at most there’s casual fans or in-depth fans but I mean, a fan is a fan so I don’t believe in the *fake* fans thing..... the problem here isn’t that they’re fakes. it’s that they aren’t fans. period.

other premise: from what you’ve said you’re a casual fan which is normal and you DON’T count as fake I mean if you like them and listen to them and know something it’s basically being a casual fan same as I am with idk the rolling stones, I like the famous stuff, I have the fundamental records and I like them when they’re on but that’s it.

but, yours truly is a Not Casual Queen Fan in the sense that a) I got into them when I was seventeen and I’m thirty now so thanks it’s been a while, b) I own all the records, c) I own a decent portion of roger taylor’s/brian may’s solo records (and I have listened to all of them that I couldn’t buy), d) I went to see them live once (k it was with paul rodgers but nvm guys not my fault if I wasn’t born in time for freddie) and I love queen’s music and I’m also fucking cishet and you know what? these people Are Not Fans and they should stop pretending they are and just stop making themselves look like assholes.

SPECIFICALLY:

the movie’s not out yet and I’ve had to see FIFTEEN ‘FRIENDLY REMINDER TO ALL CISHETS THAT FREDDIE MERCURY WAS GAY (at least a couple said he was bi and they were less asshole-ish) AND POC AND IF YOU DON’T KNOW YOU’D BETTER LEARN NOW HAHAHAHA YOU THOUGHT HE WASN’T. spoilers: every fucking casual queen fan who has bothered to buy three records knows that. yes, also the cishets. like, as someone who went from VERY CASUAL (ie: I know three songs) to NOT CASUAL in the span of two months I can 100% assure you that before getting into queen the usual preconceptions are that freddie was gay and that queen = freddie + three other people. the first three things you learn when getting into queen are (more or less in order but it can change) that a) the band was actually brian may + roger taylor first, b) that roger brought freddie in because they knew each other already, c) that mary austin was a fundamental person in freddie’s life and that she was also brian may’s ex and knew him first before they got together, d) the members’s backstories including where freddie was born, so like...... this idea that CASUAL CISHET FANS wouldn’t know that freddie was a) not heterosexual, b) poc is just something a NON-FAN would say because guess what, most queen fans even at a casual level are 100% aware that freddie was a) not heterosexual, b) not ethnical british. and saying that OMG CISHETS DON’T KNOW it’s ridiculous because guess what, everyone knows and if they have no idea they do, though luck, we did;

(spoilers: I also am 99% sure that those ppl have no idea that roger and brian actually sing on the records and composed a shitload of the music and queen =/= ONLY FREDDIE but okay)

they have no idea that rock music in the 70s/80s was not so heteronormative and was not the cishetmalething they think it is. like, please look at led zeppelin (ie THE PEOPLE WITHOUT WHOM YOU WOULDN’T HAVE HEAVY METAL) and tell me they were heteronormative. like, you saw robert plant? yeah, me too. and the thing was that queen were revolutionary in the sense that they brought an operatic/theatrical approach to the music that no one tried before but guess what, the point is that they made it sell. the thing that I would like tumblr Woke People to grasp is that what made queen groundbreaking as far as Wokeness goes is that they managed to sell and become the monster-moneymaking group they were (while keeping things quality) with a frontman who was Not Heterosexual, Did Not Try To Pass For Heterosexual One Day In His Life and Never Shied Away From It. like, idk if people are aware that while the scene was way less heteronormative than they think it still wasn’t the most openly talked about topic around (I mean guys elton john did marry a woman at some point X°DDD), but going around in the seventies flaunting your non-heterosexualness around and selling millions of copies making your stage persona a selling point of your music wasn’t exactly common. like ffs one of the most famous queen songs has a video where for 3/4 of the time they’re in drag and the other part has freddie performing with the royal ballet (and guess what the song was actually written by john deacon and the idea of doing the video in drag was roger taylor’s and none of them as far as we know is Not Heterosexual, but never mind giving the rest of the band some credit when it came to Not Caring About Heteronormativity) and fine, that video was banned/controversial, but it still was a huge british hit and it’s in the top five queen songs Everyone Knows. and tbh I’m terrified of that video being shown in the biopic (which it should since the works was from ‘84 and they stop at ‘85) because I’m 100% sure that those people have no idea it exists and when they find out how long is it gonna take them to decide that IT’S PROBLEMATIC? I mean, Woke Kids on here think the rhps is problematic, I’m shuddering at the thought of what they’d think of the i want to break free video;

actually a lot of us cishet queen fans might have had a wake up call including, er, finding out certain preferences, thanks to either their music or their shows or their videos (*cough* I 100% assure you that watching roger taylor in drag was what made me realize crossdressing was my thing for good like I knew before but I didn’t actually put two and two together until I saw that video and went like ‘............. AH WELL SHIT THEN THAT’S IT FAIR ENOUGH’), and a lot of us cishet queen fans who weren’t, like, strictly playing to heteronormative rules back in the day found a lot to relate to in their music even without being queer ourselves and guess what I’ve never met a single queen *fan* who could give less of a damn about freddie’s ethnicity or orientation (as in: everyone was a-okay with it) regardless of their background. that was what made them groundbreaking and extremely important as well, because they managed to be that kind of record-selling records-breaking band while not shying away from having a Not Heterosexual frontman AND Not Heteronormative Heterosexual Band Members Who Also Didn’t Give Two Fucks About Their Lead Singer’s Sexuality so going like OMG NOW WE’RE GONNA TEACH YOU THAT FREDDIE WASN’T HETEROSEXUAL BECAUSE WE’RE WOKE is ridiculous because dearest susan, we already knew and we already were woke about that and to us he was the frontman of a band we liked for a bunch of reasons;

also I don’t think people realize that freddie was a role model/example for the entire next generation of rock bands frontmen even in genres that had zilch to do with him - I mean guys AXL ROSE had a hero-worship for freddie and sang bohemian rhapsody at the freddie memorial concert WITH ELTON JOHN and grn really aren’t the same exact sphere as queen jsyk, but if you look at axl on stage esp. when he was younger? guys. it’s obvious. like you can see the influence. but lmao, now ALL the very cishet(-ish) singers who OPENLY SAID FREDDIE INFLUENCED THEM DIDN’T KNOW ACCORDING TO TUMBLR DOT COM?

LIKE, fuck’s sake, one of freddie’s major accomplishments in that sense was to ending up being a role model for younger singers in a genre where heteronormativity is way less common than everyone thinks BUT where not many people esp. back in the day would be open about their sexuality because it still was a taboo-ish thing -- like, gender roles were a lot more blurred but you wouldn’t hear many of those people admitting openly they were bi or gay or Not Heterosexual and the entirety of the rock scene especially mainstream but also not was entirely fucking aware of it, do these people think THE FANS wouldn’t?

also, we will rock you was WRITTEN BY BRIAN MAY AND IT WAS ABOUT A FUCKING ENCORE WHERE THE FANS SURPRISED THEM AT ONE SHOW IN LIKE MID-SEVENTIES which already shows that They Know Nothing because if they think freddie wrote all the queen songs then it’s already obvious they have no fucking clue about how queen worked as a band because all the members contributed something (guys john deacon wrote at least two of their major hits, roger taylor sang on all the records along with brian may and if you hear the back harmonies on ‘39 he goes way higher than freddie and a part in seaside rendezvous has both him and freddie mimicking other instruments with their voice and you wouldn’t know if no one told you first, brian may wrote a SHITLOAD of music for queen and it was an all-four effort, not just freddie + three other generic british dudes for fuck’s sake) so like, anyone saying that is already giving ample proof that they have no idea;

now of course you can interpret it as whatever the hell you want, but assuming that all of queen’s music that might relate to queer issues was written by freddie ABOUT QUEER ISSUES (this when freddie’s main topic of interest was... not really discussing his sexuality especially in the seventies like again, I want to break free is one of the queen to-go songs everyone brings up when it comes to that topic and IT WAS WRITTEN BY SOMEONE ELSE and the video concept was THANKS TO SOMEONE ELSE) just shows that a) you don’t know shit about the band’s history, b) you’re not a fan because you didn’t even bother to look it up on wiki, c) you’re trying to look woke at all costs;

they have NO FUCKING CLUE that most people in the 70s/80s/90s in the business were NOT politically correct according to their standards LIKE LITERALLY NO ONE WAS;

goes unsaid they probably haven’t listened to one full queen album from beginning to end not even the greatest hits.

tldr: I hate that they don’t seem to realize that things existed before 2005 and that music in the 70s/80s COULD and WAS diverse and *woke* already before they were even born, I hate that they decided that ALL CISHETS DIDN’T KNOW when thank you I think even my damned parents know and they don’t listen to rock music, I hate that they decided that queen APPARENTLY DIDN’T HAVE A FANBASE BEFORE THEM (lol) or that that fanbase didn’t understand them (triple-lol), I hate that they’re reducing freddie to his sexuality when he didn’t want that in the first place, I hate that they’re falling into THE MAIN MISCONCEPTION AROUND ABOUT THIS BAND as in THAT IT WAS FREDDIE + THREE OTHER PEOPLE and not an all-around group effort of people who were friends and deeply loved/respected each other and put the same share of work into it, I hate that they moment they see the movie and are introduced to the actual music/the actual story they’ll MOST LIKELY find problematic things to wank about because like hell they wouldn’t and I hate that they’re basically pretending to give a fuck about a band that I love and have loved dearly in a very non-casual way when they actually fucking don’t.

fucking hell please never let anyone make a biopic about either springsteen or led zeppelin or other people I actually like because this is bad enough, I don’t even want to think of what tumblr ppl would say if they knew anything about any rock artist of medium-large fame back in the day. peace.

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #queen for ts #let's see how fast wank arrives #I HOPE IT DOESN'T #god i hate this discourse BURN IT #lgbt for ts #haljathefangirlcat #ask post

29 notes · View notes

getfuckedstayfucked · 3 years

Text

callout post for aineedhelp dumbposting majimaguro

@dumbposting @majimaguro since you've been harassing my friends I figured I'd lay this out for you in no uncertain terms. Kyle, if you read this, scroll down to the bottom where there's a screenshot of Charlie literally telling you to die.

Hi Charlie. I deadass had to make a tumblr for this bullshit because your lying has really gotten excessive. I mean really? Telling people you’re 23? Telling people that you were groomed by us? Telling people we forced you to ditch your friends when all you’d do is complain to us about how uncomfortable x person would make you with their requests for sexual roleplay, or their aggressive demeanor, or their shipping wants? Telling people you were abused by us when you clearly have done this more than twice to different friend groups and when one group falls apart you move on to the next and start your predatory cycle all over again???

I can see you do this for every friend group you make, no matter who it is, where they are. You know how I see this? Because you are saying that we did what you told us your old friends were doing - Jasper, Robin, and Merc. You’ve moved the narrative that THEY were sexually abusive groomers/manipulators over to us since your new group of friends doesn’t know about them outside of the parts those new friends (your dear friends who never hurt you ever even though you consistently complain about said new friends behind their backs!) play and now, suddenly, WE were sexually abusive groomers/manipulators because you milked the attention and pity you could get out of us over the awful things you said about Jasper, Robin, and Merc, and in the process you eventually abused the two people who had the patience to stick out that behaviour SO MUCH and for SO LONG that you alienated them. Once they were over how you treated them, then suddenly, they were the bad guys. And you wouldn’t stop rocking the boat because you needed to have your endless little baby tantrum. Now that you’ve pulled the trigger, you can’t unshoot that bullet.

Newsflash? When these people told you THEIR BOUNDARIES - something that amazingly seems to only be valid when you do it - you got pissed at them. When people told you THEY COULDN’T HANDLE SOMETHING - like, oh, you know, detailed descriptions of severe animal trauma/death, or being told repetitively and graphically that you were going to kill yourself/how you were going to do it, they were suddenly awful. Well, you know what? That is textbook manipulation, to use a phrase you seem so fond of. Guilting people for having boundaries and making them feel bad for drawing lines because they want to have a healthy relationship with their friends isn’t bad, you just don’t like it because it means you can no longer do what you want or treat people like crap without repercussions.

You are a cruel person. You don’t care about anybody but yourself. You are a self-serving, self-driven, emotionless asshole that knows how to twist situations to be in your favor because your favorite tactic is to divide people up from one another so they have less and less outside views of what your treatment is actually like. It takes a lot of practice to be able to do something like you do for so long and so aggressively so I imagine you’ve been doing this for years. You hook someone - or multiple someones - in by being nice and personable and funny and relatable, then you destroy your friend groups by pitting people against one another and when you’ve isolated the people you’re obsessing over, you flip the switch and start to abuse them in private.

And you know what? You are not the victim in this narrative. You are just another abusive jerk who knows you can get that attention from someone somewhere as long as you twist the narrative to fit your ‘I’ve been abused my friends all treat me horribly’ angle. And you know what? I’m sick of you. I’m sick of how you treat my friends, I’m sick of how you treat people in general. You make me sick and if you’re proud of that, that’s not a badge of honor or pride. That means that you are exactly like your father.

You don’t get to be out here and be like ‘oh no! it was me who was hurt by these people!’ when you're the one harassing them with your nasty, miserable anon hate even though they’ve blocked you time and time again.

Steven showed me the conversation where you exploded at him for saying he needed a moment, because apparently it’s fucked up to not be able to handle graphic depictions of an animal’s death, and somehow saying that he couldn’t handle that in that moment was a personal attack and he was betraying you by being an unsupportive friend? People have triggers, hunty, you aren’t god’s gift to this earth and you aren’t the only person to have those! HE tried to set his boundaries and what did you do? You shit all over them. You only care about boundaries if they’re your own and if anybody else has one they try to set with you they’re suddenly awful and someone to be tossed aside.

And you know what else? You forcing Sam to deal with your maladjusted stalking all the time because you’re out here harassing him via tumblr dot com isn't cute. You’re entirely, creepily obsessed with him and irrationally upset that he stood up for himself and got tired of you treating him like your own personal emotional punching-bag. You are a pathetic, vengeful little person who has no life and nothing to do but troll the internet for victims and people you can trick into giving you sympathy until you inevitably wring them dry too and then you abandon them because they won’t give you what you want anymore.

Go fuck yourself. Get fucked, stay fucked. You complained to us and cried to us about Merc and Jasper and Robin and how they either wouldn’t stop bothering you for sexual RP or wouldn’t stop guilting you or pushing you in that direction, or how Robin wouldn’t stop trying to force you to say what she wanted you to say, and now you’re LITERALLY saying that about Steve and Sam? You are not. The fucking. Victim. Here. You are the orchestrator to an amazingly convoluted drama that rotates around you and you alone and I’m sick of this and I’m sick of you and I’m sick of having to hear about the lies you’re posting about my friends.

By the way? You aren’t 23. You are 27 by now! De-aging yourself to seem younger and more vulnerable only works when people don’t know you’re actually older - which, by the way, is SUPER creepy of you to do because it gets you closer to a younger demographic and endears you to them because oh! wow! You’re young and abused just like them! Do you know how fucked up it is to position yourself closer to younger, less experienced, vulnerable people like that? Do you know how fucked up it is to try and net those poor kids with your sob stories and how these ‘bad oldew peopow abewsed yew uwu’ even though that wasn’t the case? It puts you in a position of power and it gives you the reigns in any interactions you have with anybody younger than you and that is creepy and disgusting and you are creepy and disgusting for doing it, especially since your tumblr is filled with a mixture of sfw and 18+ content with zero 18+ follower requirement.

And you know what-- in the same vein, you use your being autistic as a sob story point to make it sound like one more way that you’ve been taken advantage of, but in reality you’re actually the one out here taking advantage of those around you and you’re being ableist while you do it? Wow. Wowiee wow wow.

You infantilize autistic people and say in the process that, in a blanket statement, ALL autistic people can’t fend for themselves or see anything coming at them from a mile away. On top of that, you shit on other autistic people’s special interests? Do you have any idea how many autistic people are out there with special interests focused around kid’s shows, or cartoons in general, or anime, or fandoms? No? Well, here’s a clue: there’s a lot of us (and yes, I am autistic, and yes, I do have special interests involving anime and fandoms, and no, I’m not a predator and I am DEFINITELY not the one out here creepily de-aging themselves to endear themselves to younger people like you are) with special interests ranging from anything from MLP to mushrooms to My Hero Academia (which is, for the record, one of Steve’s special interests, which you shit on him for, you ableist fuck) to Stephen King’s IT and you don’t get to say it’s predatory to have special interests in these areas!!!!!

You are not only perpetuating stereotypes about autistic people but you’re encouraging them because these stereotypes suit you and your current narrative! You’re using the same exact arguments that neurotypicals use! And you know what ELSE? Way to suggest that autistic people who have special interests that aren’t ‘adult’ are predators, too, you nasty little weasel. That’s the kind of narrative that gets autistic people killed!!! How selfish ARE you?

But wait, we really, really aren’t done here. I would really like to address your obsession with accusing people of being groomers and/or predators.

YOU LITERALLY ROLEPLAYED EDDIE KASPBRACK. YOU ROLEPLAYED HIM AS AGE SIXTEEN AND YOU HAVE DONE SO IN A SEXUAL AND SEXUAL-ADJACENT MANNER. YOU SMUT ROLEPLAYED SEXUAL CONTENT ON A CHARACTER THAT WAS SIXTEEN. YOU ALSO ROLEPLAY AS SHERRY BIRKIN FROM RESIDENT EVIL. SHE IS TEN. YOU CAN’T SAY SHIT. YOU. CAN’T. SAY. SHIT. YOU WROTE SMUT AS UNDERAGE CHARACTERS WHILE USING REAL LIFE UNDERAGE FACECLAIMS AND NOW YOU’RE OUT HERE SAYING THAT SIMPLY WATCHING THESE SHOWS AND BEING INTO THESE FANDOMS IS PEDOPHILIC? I don’t think so. I really, really do not think so.

Saying stuff like ‘reblogging anime posts or gifs or art is child porn’ also belittles and undermines actual CSA/pedophilia victims which is one more tally on the list of fucked up shit you’ve done. Way to be one of those people out there who do their best to divert valuable time and resources that could be spent on actual CSA victims instead of fictional fucking people.

This is a two-way street. You rant about how this is a 13+ site and how adults are responsible for kids in their spaces WHEN THEY HAVE ALREADY GONE TO REASONABLE LENGTHS TO PREVENT MINORS FROM GETTING AT THEIR CONTENT, but you’re always going on about getting high and doing drugs and talking about onlyfans which is AN ADULT SUBSCRIPTION WEBSITE GEARED TOWARDS PEOPLE WHO MAKE PORN OR FETISH CONTENT. You have absolutely ZERO 18+ content warning or follower requirement on your blog! Which is made creepier by the fact that you’ve de-aged yourself by a whole four years, you’re making yourself out to be some kind of abused child who was manipulated by older people, and you’re trying to speak for children. It’s wack.

For the record, being mentally ill is not an excuse for any of this at all whatsoever. If you hurt someone and you are mentally ill that is still on you. It is on you to learn to live with mental illness and not hurt those around you. When your shitty actions give someone else trauma, that is your fault, and it does have an effect on them, and it does hurt them. Fuck off with that 'no accountability' bullshit you're peddling. That's not how life works. Your actions have affected those around you and it takes a massive amount of willful ignorance to go around acting like you don't fucking know that already, especially considering that other people’s mental illnesses hurt you-- unless you were lying to us about that, too.

Get some fucking help and get out of our collective DMs........ Or don’t and get high like you always do instead of accepting responsibility for your actions, Mr. 'I'm lucid enough to be able to blame my mental illness for my own behaviour when that bs wouldn't even hold up in court'. Whatever.

I’m done with your shit.

Here's some receipts. Kyle, whoever you are, I suggest you run the fuck away before they start doing to you what they've done to Steve and Sam. Good luck having a friend who non-jokingly says they wish you would die because that is extraordinarily fucked up.

---

----

-----

Some tea about how you were fed up with the people treating you like shit instead of you being forced to ditch these people

----

#queued post #aineedhelp #dumbposting #majimaguro #abusive people #narcissism #narcissists #abuse #abusers #emotional abuse #gaslighting #manipulation #weaponized mental health

0 notes

johneckels · 3 years

Text

I got5 videos on my YouTube

I got five videos on my YouTube look up that invite I'm giving I got 12 years on my videos I did how much do video that they like about 12 years that's awesome but I need to get more views how much YouTube do you know and Nathan cinnamon how are you how is your day today I'm doing great I'm doing wonderful but I had a grill block me on Twitter today is that seal who was single owner of boyfriend see the 110 rokok and yesterday then today's see blocked me on Twitter unlike don't see how it's me about the vaccine you're probably going to block me again Winston says she didn't mind away all was but Simplot but that's okay I'm having trouble finding girls Walmart disability I know I have a disability but that's okay that's why I didn't get with a girl because of my disability and I want a girlfriend I'll talk to my sister last night about 10 seems like bro mom and dad are getting older now who the you want to take care of you I want a pretty Grill in Pittsburgh to take care of me and yes I do in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania by the way. I'm not afraid of from my Martha on out there RL don't actually live in Pittsburgh Pittsburgh Pittsburgh but I live outside of Pittsburgh yeah I live in Washington County Pennsylvania like 20 minutes from Washington Pennsylvania and I did believe in love I just hard for me to find love cuz I can't drive I don't know how to drive I'm just a passenger no driver are you going to miss thing and there's more grilled out there like I take a look at scrubs he got was score me in 2016 and March 2016 by the way if I had my Instagram off like I do now I got four post on my Instagram, 42 special Homestead if the gram or foreclosed on air I want to put more of those down here but I don't know what a my hands and I think Facebook's in make I think Facebook's and make Instagram like good talk rooster Foot photos on the web browser turn on the phone version of Instagram pick up Peter version of the Instagram Aqua lot of pictures to put on Instagram but I don't know how to they don't Instagrams none of them website like Facebook is void if you could put photos on Instagram on the computer button little German I do want to be in love I do want to make out I do have sex in a Philly Grill call just don't want to be a virgin anymore I just don't want to be alone anymore I just want to be loved and I don't want to live with my parents anymore either but I have to go to my disability it is not right for your parents to take care of you the rest of your life you agree with me so if you agree with me replying back to me undergarments show me some love

on this blog help me out I'm a new log on Tumblr dot-com I like country music I believe in love at first sight do I believe in love Second Sight dog beer in love in mirrors I believe in sex before marriage I believe in God God believe in playing with my peter more often the knight's sword I like to play my feet are my fingers mine and I feel fit more often but I want to go to play on my Peter to besides me on 100 Grill just kiss me I want a girl to bloom110 Grill does sit on my dick going to grill Gerard my dick Moana Grill the kiss my dick go on the grill did sit on my face don't want to grill on the the spread her legs no sense I'm talking sex I'm jealous right now I'm not meant Nathan cinnamon let me know about the audio book do I do all the yearbook tell my story let me know but I'm sorry about talking sex on my blog blog sex anytime I want to I thought about my peter being alone did my theater doesn't do what I want I'm going now I want to grill the home I don't want to grill the guy me feel life I want to grill distract me since I've been on Twitter in 2019 I have not find the grill to suspect me$30 off of it and I want a real to love me then take care of me beside my disability I'm going to go to love me then have my calves my

kids I want to have a family of my own I want to throw you a life with my family will all my life I want to join my wife well well well I'm alive I want to enjoy going on feeling big kids into my own families I want to travel with my own family you know what I'm saying I want somebody to this back me I want somebody the take care of me I want someone. Love me for who I am then not that wheel yes some people look out the wheelchair on Twitter and I don't why Guardian one of the old fit but some do don't mind that this one avoid friend or husband they wanted to say used to listen zip and I understand. I want to see his relationship to but I never had no one the be my girlfriend or wife my partner someone to love someone to hold someone did tell you I'd say I love you too someone to take care of you that was the dog matter still disability

#this disability

0 notes

feminismforlesbians · 7 years

Note

I mostly see accounts of people who were terfs in their youth and changed their mind. What made you go the other way?

@bluegone

I’m finally back at my laptop.

(I had this huge essay going in reply to this and then realized that absolutely no one would read of all it and started from scratch).

I’d have to agree with some of the people who commented on this through replies or reblogs while I was away—-I have never seen someone who was a “terf in their youth” shift entire ideologies into liberal feminism. You’ll see a lot of people apologize profusely for being a transphobic cis gay before opening their eyes to tumblr dot com and becoming an instant trans inclusionist. That means that as young 14, 15, 16 year olds (their youth) they had never heard of gender identity vs sex or else didn’t know that attraction based on sex, which was their natural attraction, was a bad thing. It doesn’t mean they were “terfs”. It means they were young gay or bisexual kids who hadn’t ever been exposed to gender theory before and now have subscribed fully to it, apologies for the past crime of feeling sex-based attraction always ready to be offered up. They didn’t change their minds from one ideology to another; they simply subscribed to one without comparison to anything else.

I actually fully engaged in one movement, then consciously made the decision to subscribe to a different one.

I’ve been on this hellsite for a very long time. I’m 21 now and I was either 14 or just newly 15 when I first ~made an account. The mainstream “LGBT and feminist movement” on here is liberal trans-inclusive ace-inclusive feminism. It’s large, it’s the default, it’s the social justice community you participate in unless 1) you know there’s a different one you value and you find it or 2) you find a different one through the mainstream and value it (a la me). This mainstream collective has enjoyed trends such as monosexual privilege, gender bang pt 1, mogaii, split attraction model, gender bang pt 2, “q*eer”, and others. I was involved in all aforementioned and the others in between. I believed myself to be bisexual when I first started, because I knew I was attracted to girls and I assumed I was attracted to guys. The monosexual privilege, mogaii, and split attraction model trends all did fantastic jobs of reinforcing this internalized heterosexism but also created a substantial amount of internalized lesbophobia. Gender bang pt 1 and the split attraction model together also created some short-lived but intense body sex dysphoria (wherein I would find myself browsing through packers and binders and shutting my eyes while using the restroom, despite still knowing myself to be a woman) because between the pressure to hyperdefine every aspect of my attraction and to deconstruct my gender, I went through the extra identity crisis that was never needed. This is all a very compressed version of the experience, and is more of a background for the events that started the momentum to my switch in ideologies.

The tumultuous gender and sexuality crises that I personally experienced as a result of these trends lasted from about the ages 14 to 18; I didn’t start to drift away from the libfem community until I was 20. It was not the personal crises that made me leave, and it’s not my crying about them, about my individual woe-is-me tale that makes me a “terf”. It’s the foundation, though, and that’s why it’s worth mentioning. So you are aware I am not talking out of my ass when I describe things in the libfem community, like language used, priorities made, or the effects on young and/or gay people. I’m not talking out of my ass because I was fully subscribed to it for years; enthusiastically and wholeheartedly. It was my community.

By the time I was about 18-19 I had finally just let myself be a girl and the sex dysphoria had dissipated along with the frantic attempts to gender-trend myself so that I could make my sexuality “make sense”; I knew I was attracted to girls and though I assumed I must have been attracted to guys, I couldn’t describe how and gender-trending seemed to be the answer. I let that go, the gender-trending part, and then I was just a “cis” bisexual girl. I was okay with that; I accepted that trans people were The Most Oppressed. I knew (and still know) that trans people are deserving of safety, and health care, and that dysphoria can be life threatening. I was content with the standards that trans people came first. Trans women are women and trans men are men, check your cis privilege, and so on.

And then somewhat of a trio of things of happened in quick succession: there was finally that “duh…I’m a lesbian” moment, a wave of gender theory craze that I call gender bang pt 2, and then I got involved in the ace diskhorse. When I finally let myself be a lesbian it was like…learning to fly. For about two seconds. I just felt free from the discomfort and frustration and pain I’d put myself through trying to convince myself I was attracted to men when I really just wasn’t. And then I came out as a lesbian on here, on this hellsite, and I got people telling me, immediately, that that was great as long as I wasn’t One Of Those Lesbians. The terfy ones. Suddenly it became imperative that every time I talked about women I said and trans women. It was with my own internal freedom to be attracted only to women that I finally saw that the reverse was true in this community I was a part of. I was friends with straight women, bisexual women, pansexual women, q*eer women, q*eer nonbinary people, and many trans people. And they were all attracted to men. And what I watched was how normalized and encouraged attraction to men was—how the “thirst” for men was being called empowering and sexy and “q*eer”. Maybe it is empowering and sexy (it’s certainly not “q*eer”), but not when attraction women was either hush hushed or practically infantilized. Attraction to men was loud and suggestive and sexual and humorous and encouraged; attraction to women was…not. This I noticed first. Men and women. And then I noticed something else. It was okay to connect men to penises. It was assumed, by nearly every person around me, that when one “thirsted for that dick” they were talking about a man and that was okay. If someone said “I really want to fuck her”, without even citing whether “cis” or trans, the entire community was on alert. If someone were to say “I would eat her out”, there would be goddamn riots in the name of transphobia. This was where I started think that it was kind of fucked up that people could be “transphobic” in talking about men and penises have it celebrated as feminist, and then utterly destroyed for talking about women and vulvas. This was where I started to wonder why it was okay for my straight female friend to talk about her thirst for men using explicit details involving dick, but it wasn’t okay for me, a lesbian, to have a sexual attraction to vulvas. This was where I started to want to ask questions about sex-based attraction (but I didn’t, because you don’t ask questions in libfem communities. You just accept, validate, and welcome everybody and shut your goddamn mouth if you don’t.)

This overlapped with the gender bang pt 2, which was a reinforcement of the gender theory that had been prevailing for a while but was more significant to me at the time. While I was now starting to wonder why people attracted to men could specify male genitalia in their attraction and lesbians weren’t permitted to do the same for women, there was beginning a larger push to pretend like biological sex didn’t exist at all. There was a push for people to believe that only gender, a concept of personal identity, factored into attraction. It was a push that made it so a woman was only a woman because she said so, and to speak of biological sex was to be transphobic. It was a push that deconstructed my womanhood and my sexuality in one blow. It was a push that further amplified discussions of “dick”, except now where my lack of participation in such talks would have been unnoticeable, it was a “red flag”. It was upsetting. It wasn’t trans people that were upsetting to me, or trans women, or trans “validity”. I wasn’t angry about the fact that trans people existed, I didn’t wish them ill or dead. I was angry that my femaleness, my womanhood, the part of who I was for which this movement claimed to stand for—feminism—was now the enemy. It was being erased. I was angry that my sexuality, which I had had barely a breath to revel in, which I had had denied to me through all this other genderist bullshit, was now treated as a “risk factor” for being a transphobe—the ultimate evil. I couldn’t say any of this, though, I couldn’t ask any questions, I couldn’t differ even slightly in opinion, or disagree with something or have some fucking boundaries, because this is the libfem circles we are talking about. So, instead, I just buried my thoughts because part of me felt that maybe I was evil for thinking that way.

And right around then I stumbled into the ace diskhorse. Yes, that one area within liberal feminism where there is the slightest variety—I say slightest because in fact, if you openly suggest ace exclusion as a libfem, you will be decimated just as you would for criticizing genderism. However, I say variety, because there are a decent amount of libfems who are ace exclusionists but subscribe to literally everything else in libfem rhetoric. That’s where I found myself, on another tiny blog, lurking curiously in these trans-inclusive gender-not-sex q*eer ace-exclusive posts. (Mind, I am ace exclusive. But that’s not what makes me a terf. Just an aphobe, apparently). This was where I learned that, hey, it was possible to not agree with every single little thing that the tumblr mainstream declared “valid”. I had never strayed away from the mainstream because I didn’t know of any other circle except, you know, terfs, which were obviously evil—so why would I have ever bothered to look at a so-called terf’s blog or in a “terfy” tag? I hadn’t. I hadn’t ever seen anything but the tumblr mainstream all very forcefully agreeing with each other, supported by kawaii banners and not much else. Yet here was the tiny ace-exclusive corner, where people actually discussed like, concepts, and constructs, and facts, and histories, and actual manifestations of oppressions. I saw people actually asking goddamn questions.

A few times, I would see an ace-inclusive libfem telling an ace-exclusive libfem that they were evil fucking aphobes that were “just as bad as terfs”. Privately, I would think, no, no I’m not like a terf. Terfs are evil! They want to kill trans women and are total fetishists! I don’t want to kill anyone, I know trans people. Just because I think maybe being female matters and that maybe it’s okay to be attracted to sex, does not mean I’m a terf.

So it was all happening in congruence: I was a lesbian finally free from her own internalized lesbophobia, looking to embrace and revel in my sexuality after hating it for so long, as the community I trusted told me that it was wrong to desire vulva but empowering to suck dick. I was starting to look up and outside and thinking about asking questions just as I discovered that questions could be asked. I was thinking.

I can identify a moment that could be called the catalyst.

I was perusing my ace-exclusionist corner, and an ace-exclusionist libfem had made a post about asexuality that a “terf” had dared agree with. There was no mention of trans people or sex or gender on either end and still the libfem said:

“go get hit by a truck and die, terf”

It was so brutally violent and since the “terf” had said nothing that was trans or gender or sex related, I thought that this must mean that terfs are so universally evil they’re worthy of fucking death threats just for commenting on a post. And then I worried the thoughts I’d been having, the anger about devaluing my sex and sexuality in the name of trans activism, were terfy. And so I clicked on that terf’s blog, to see how maliciously cruel and hateful these terfs were so that I could reaffirm my previous loyalty to trans-inclusive feminism.

Except what happened was that I clicked on that terf’s blog and she wasn’t the spawn of Satan. I clicked on people she reblogged from and people they reblogged from and soon found myself lurking in honest-to-God terf circles. It wasn’t violent. It wasn’t evil. No one was asking for the rapes and murders of trans women. No one was fetishizing women. There were black terfs and brown terfs and disabled terfs and lesbian terfs and bisexual terfs and young terfs and older terfs. These terfs weren’t at all the kawaiied pasteled hivemind that libfem was. They actually talked about things; they explored, explained, and support ideas, history, facts, and values. It was invigorating. They didn’t all agree all the time all at once and no one was threatening lives for having a different perspective. Their commonality? In the most basic definition, these trans exclusive radical feminists believed in sex-based oppression, in sex-based attraction, and in the prioritization of women in feminism. Obviously there’s much more to it than that; that’s what made it so fascinating, this movement that had a foundation and entire layers of analyses and arguments and facts and history and convictions.

I lurked and I lurked and I lurked and then I said fuck it, and I made a blog. I believe that gender is a social construct, that biological sex is fact, that sex-based oppression exists; I don’t want trans people dead, I don’t think trans people don’t deserve health care, I don’t think trans people don’t deserve safety. There’s more, but those are the baselines.

So I guess now I’m a terf that switched sides. And apparently deserving of things like getting hit by a truck and dying. Comes with the territory when you decide to be part of a movement that asks questions and doesn’t deny reality.

#terf #feminism #trans activism

168 notes · View notes

br0adwa5 · 7 years

Text

deh apartment hcs

so i was just scrolling thru Tumblr Dot Com™ and I saw a post that said “does anyone else ever daydream of decorating their first apartment?” (if anyone knows who made that lmk) but anyway i saw that and was like omg if that ain’t alana and then i was like wAIT WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF THEM so here’s this. fyi this is like a college au type thing ish??

(im sotired this is kinda shitty lol)

(also thank u so much for the luv on my last two hcs? i cr ied? les get to the point sorry)

alana:

ok so this girl would obviously have the neatest apartment ever

it would probably be like a medium size ya know

white walls.

lots of white walls.

and there would be like really pretty marble countertops

her beadspread (or whateverthefuck u call it) would probably be like grey with white little lines on it

in a pattern tho

like a cute pottery barn one

she would so freaking use evan’s discount at pottery barn are u kidding me

like her entire house would look like a pottery barn catalog

anyway

idk if all apartments have this so excuse me if i sound mega stupif

but she would use the little intercom-buzzer thing to get into the apartment to her full advantage

like if u wanted to even go up there she would legit do a full on background check

(except for zoe)

(zoe would be like “hey alana it’s-” and alana would be like “yOU CAN COME RIGHT UP”

but it would be like

“hello who is this?”

“alana you know it’s jared. i just texted you.”

“… ok then what’s your middle name”

“aLANA”

but anyway back to what inspired this in the first place

so alana would SO plan her apartment out from when she was like young enough to understand it ya get it

like she would pick out furniture at age six

(her taste would obviously change as she got older but u get it)

and she would literally have it down to the p a i n t color

like she would walk into home depot or whatever and the worker would expect her to look around for like 40 minutes but she’d be like

“hi hello i’ll take seashell grey in the gloss finish please. make it quick.”

(i totally just made that up what the hell is a gloss finish never heard of her)

i also picture her having lots of house plants? like most of them would be fake bc she’s too busy to keep them alive but they wouldn’t look fake

yeah alana’s apartmetnt would be so put together and like clean cut and nice

zoe:

her apartment would be rad okay

i feel like it would be v hipster and cool

not like Hipster™ but like… hipster?

what am i even saying

okay

so she would definetley have a room with yellow walls

like her rooms would be painted cool colors and stuff

but yellow specifically

she just seems like a yellow person

she would have a big wall that’s all chalkboard paint

wait now im really excited about this wall oh my god

like when everyone would go over her house they would all take a chalkboard marker (real chalk makes too much of a mess) and write and draw on it

evan would do little doodles of trees and write sweet and encouraging stuff

connor would either draw a hecking masterpiece or write really small in the corner “fuk u”

there’s no in between

alana would just doodle hearts and stuff

or when she’d be over doing homework w zoe she’d try to teach her math and science and stuff on it

a w

jared would just draw memes

i think we can all agree on that one

but annyyywwayy

she would refuse to get anything like store bought mainstream

like she would go to little shops in the middle of nowhere

or garage sales

and get the cutest stuff

her house would be so homey but at the same time like “wtf why is this so perfect”

l o t s of tapestries

don’t fight me on this

it wouldn’t be the regular mendala ones that a lot of people get

(but she would for sure have a few of those too)

it would be like really cool unique stuff

lots of maps of the world

tie dye

ya kniw

they would mostly be taking up all of the celing space and some wall space in her room

she would so have a polaroid camera i KNOW IT

and she would put them all on pieces of string w clothespins and string them up around her room

all pics of her frands and stuff

awwww zoe

she’d also probably have a room just for her dog

(btw if u didn’t see my other hc i see her as having a golden retriever named kiwi)

(but anyway)

like it was supposed to be a closet sbut she just didn’t use it

so she was like “well… okay let’s do this”

and evan will spend h o u r s at a time in that room

ugh she would just have the cutest apartment v colorful and stuff

evan:

evan’s apartment would be v small

he llved with his mom the first two years of college but decided to move out because he was feeling like he made a lot of progress and was ready to live on his own (btw is it canon tht he lives w his mom first year of college? i forget lmk)

(but he wasn’t really living on his own bc connor was always over or he was at connor’s place)

he would have a v little sitting area w a really old tv and a worn out couch that was probably free on the side of the road or cheap from a garage sale

he would have a fridge and oven and stuff but he’d mostly just use the microwave

(ho;ly shit “some people say just use a microwave…”)

(i h8 myself why why why ok moving on)

his diet would mainly consist of ramen noodles

bc he doesn’t want to leave and have to socalize with people at fast food places or the grocery store

but every once and a while zoe would come over like “evan wtf” and make him food to hold him over for a while

(uh hc that zoe’s a really good cook??/)

he would have a little bedroom with a big window in it

and his comforter would be blue with navy stripes (similar to The Shirt™ but not completley the same)

he would have lots of sticky notes everywhere

like ranging from “don’t forget to feed the dog” to “don’t worry about it, it’s probably not a big deal”

and when he was in a really good mental state he would write them and stick them in places he know he’d see when he wasn’t in the best shape

and it would encourage him to keep going

wow that’s equally heartbreaking and adorable

ok don’t fight me on this we all know it’s a thing

he would have plants. eve ry wh ere

like there wouldn’t be a single fake plant in there

but he loved them bc he felt like it made the air fresher??? like it supplied more oxygen in the room which made it easier to breathe when he was feeling anxious??

(idk i can’t really explain it but that’s how i feel when i get anxious so i feel like it would help him too)

but it would range from huge ass borderline trees to succlents the size of his thumb nail

he would have s o many succulents

he would name them all

aaaaaaaAaAAAA

and each of his friends would have a plant named after them

even though it was small he really loved his apartment

bc he worked really hard to be able to pay for it and buy the furniture and stuff

so it was like his baby

yeah that’s my boy evan handsoap!

connor:

connor’s apartment would actually be pretty big

like everything would be super super high quality and nice

he would so have a recliner chair

you know the one i’m talking about okay

and he would spend most of his time in there

even though he def has a huge nice sectional

(btw most of his furniture is black)

when evan would come over he wouldn’t want to get up out of it

but even always wanted to cuddle

so the first time evan was like “con come over hereee”

connor just scooched over

and evan was like “??”

but just went over to him

and they were kinda squished but they loved it

bc they were so close to eachother

AW IM SCREECHING

but yeah they would love to cuddle on the recliner

his kitchen would be p nice too

like he would have a weirdly high tech fridge and a really nice oven and stuff

but if u opened the fridge there would just be like a half dranken (that is nOT a word) bottle of mountain dew, a cheese stick, and maybe on a good day some random leftovers

(btw idk why but i see his parents buying him most of the stuff in his apartment,, this doesn’t really make sense when i think about it but i can’t not do it what am i saing now awioehfdlsnk)

his room would be nice

he would have a big bed with a black and white plaid duvet cover

omg evan would l o v e his bed

like evan of course loves his own bed but connor’s is just so comfy

(plus connor’s bed also has connor)

(anywho)

his walls would be like a greyish blue color

but his furniture would still be all black

he would have a big desk and he always kept sticky notes around for evan to doodle on if he ever got anxious

and he has an entire drawer in his dresser just for his hair ties because he has an unhealthy amount of them

at all times

partly because he wants to keep his hair up sometimes

but partly because he always wears one around his wrist to snap when he gets mad or can’t control his emotions

and he always ends up loosing them

oh also his shower in his bathroom would be BOMB like im talking it has one of those little ledge chair thingies

and the water pressure is a plus

and evan’s shower at his apartment is like sucky so he always just showers at connors

(i mean this in the least innapropriate way possible btw jus clearing that up)

but connor would spend SO much time there

so would evan tbh

so yeh

jared:

ok guys

hear me out on this one

but i feel like jared would have a surprisingly nice apartment??

like,,, actually very nice

they would all love hanging out there when they were all together

the first time he asked them over they were like “… u sure”

they were expecting to walk into something that looked like a super crappy hotel room with garbage all over

but they walked in and were like “jared what the fuk”

because this place was nice

like,, , he would always have the most food out of all of them

(which wasn’t saying much but still)

he would have a big nice couch with lots of extra like beanbags all over

they would all have their own that they used

and his tv would be poppin okay

he would have his old wii hooked up to it

and they would constantly have mario kart tournaments

jared always insisted on being wario

for the Memes™

he would be the only one out of all of them with an amazon fire stick so they would always watch movies all together at his house

and sometimes they would just randomly take it without telling him

(i’m looking at u connor)

and he wouldn’t notice for a few days but when he did he went cRAZY

but anyway

his room would b supa cool

he would have a really nice bed

omg he would have like video game and other nerd stuff posters e v e r y w h e r e

like everywhere

little to no wall space for anything elsee

every once in a while he would go through his camera roll and print the pictures that he liked the best to hang up on his wall

hear me out bc this is gonna sound weird

he would probably have a dead meme shrine in one of the corners of the wall on the bottom

that he started as a joke with connor and zoe once but it jst spiraled out of control until every dead meme was recognized as soon as it went out

he would have a tv in his room

not as good as his one in the living room but still

he has two tvs what even jared

that’s where he would put his xbox

and he would game all night man

ah i love jared sm

ok that’s it hope u enjoyed ahhahah

520 notes · View notes