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astrojulia · 1 year

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PAC - Qualities and Traits in your Future Spouse

~ 5 things you like about them vs 5 things they like about you (lightly +18)

PILE 1 - PILE 2 - PILE 3

PILE A - PILE B - PILE C

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DISCLAIMER. These general free readings are made in good faith for entertainment purposes. I tried my best to leave it gender neutral, but one word or another might have escaped (Portuguese is a language where all words have gender).

How to pick a pile

When you have different cards to choose from in pile 1,2,3… look at each of those cards. Wait until someone reminds you of a memory. Perhaps a character’s outfit resembles one of your own. It is this pile that has its message. What if they all remind me of something? Go for the one with the strongest memory, one might look like her earring but another might be the favorite candy you got from your grandma when you vacationed at her house. But what if none reminds me of something? Take a deep breath and wait a little longer, without charging yourself or creating worries. Relax, some will awaken some memory in you, I promise! .

Pile 1

You love their voice and the way they talk, and it's not something that only you appreciate. But even so, you see your future spouse's voice as a melody, comforting and even exciting. I also don't just see the question of the voice itself, but the way they speak, with rhythm, without any problems pronouncing the words or doubt in their voice.

You appreciate their skills and how they handle situations smoothly. I also see different paths here, how this person manages to take care of themselves alone, clean the house, cook the food. They are truly independent. (The other way is that you appreciate their dick, it makes you feel like never before).

You like how they communicate in general. They are smart and authentic but know how to blend in with the crowd. They know how to listen to others to better adapt to the situation. They are the type of person who will communicate differently with each individual, not out of falsehood but because they understand that each person has different needs. They will convey the same information differently to a doctor and to a child, adapting their words accordingly.

You love their overall intelligence; it seems like they always know what they should do, the next step. They are someone who wants to help others with their intelligence and is always seeking self-improvement. They are also curious and always bring new information into the relationship.

You appreciate how they manage to be rational in practically every situation. They always think before acting, analyze situations before they happen. They strive to be prepared for everything and seek security in every step of life.

Astrological Placements your Future Spouse may have:

Mercury Dominant; Venus in Taurus or Libra in the 2nd house; Mercury in the 3rd house; air dominant; Mercury in Libra, Gemini, or Aquarius; a touch of Cancer, Pisces, or Scorpio in the birth chart (perhaps only one placement).

Pile 2

You like how your future spouse (FS) is an active person, always on the move, looking to improve their career, personal life, and also taking care of their body. They can be a tall, slender individual with distinct features. They are also someone with a sense of style and who values their behavior in the world, which is why they prioritize exercise and physical activity. They are the type of person who likes to wear accessories such as gloves, bracelets, and earrings.

You appreciate that they are a person you can look up to, someone you feel proud of and see as a reference for "what would FS do in my place." You like how they are patient with others, a bit playful, but also know when to stop. It seems like they have the wisdom to bring joy to tense moments and their ability to handle all situations is what attracts you.

You admire their resilience and determination. Nothing can stop them, not even the challenges of life. They carry themselves with pride and are unafraid to express their opinions and how the world perceives them, because they know they will make things work out one way or another.

You appreciate how they can handle everything on their own, sometimes behind the scenes. If we take an intimate perspective, you both know how to handle things discreetly. But even though they are confident and unafraid to be themselves, your FS is wise and understands that you can't always confront everything head-on. Sometimes you have to navigate through the edges and take longer paths to achieve your goals. They prefer to accomplish things discreetly.

You like that your FS is often right (though it can be challenging during discussions), which is beneficial for decision-making in your lives. Even if they are not a spiritually inclined person, they have a connection with something non-physical in this world that guides their decision-making. So, even if a decision may not feel right in the moment, you realize in the future that their choices were the best ones.

Astrological Placements your Future Spouse may have:

Aquarius/Gemini/Libra placements; Fire Dominant; Mars dominant; Well-aspected Mercury; Leo dominant; Scorpio Placements; dominant Uranus.

Pile 3

You appreciate how they move on as if nothing had happened. If you make a mistake, they solve it and forget about it, without judgment or dwelling on the past. Your future spouse (FS) is also someone who enjoys horror and suspense movies, which is a recurring hobby for them.

You like that you feel comfortable around them, experiencing a sense of nostalgia for a moment that never actually existed. It's as if you've been separated before and now you're together again. This connection can be both physical and spiritual. Your FS brings magical and special moments into both of your lives.

You admire that they are a person who never loses hope. They always believe in love, even until the last moment. Even if everything comes to an end, they will continue to love and protect. They are patient and will wait for you to be ready to make decisions. They hold onto the hope that everything will work out in the end.

You appreciate that they are a fun and warm person. They shine in small social circles and are always loving and attentive. Your FS values small events and moments greatly. They enjoy going out to carnivals or other places where you can have fun. They are full of ideas for new places to explore and experience.

You like how they create a cozy atmosphere and make you feel safe. If you're someone who enjoys sleeping a lot or simply sees it as a hobby, you will feel comfortable sleeping next to your FS. Being close to them brings a sense of peace and security.

Astrological Placements your Future Spouse may have:

Cancer/Capricorn or Taurus Rising; Libra/Gemini placements; a touch of Leo and Pisces in the birth chart (perhaps only one placement).

Pile A

Your future spouse (FS) appreciates how open you are and your willingness to embrace change even in the face of fear. You have an openness not just to the world but also to your own needs. There's a sense of knowing that what you deserve is more and better than what you currently have.

Your FS admires your protective nature and how you always look out for yourself and others. You often place yourself on the front lines when confronting various challenges, often keeping your experiences to yourself in order to prevent hurting others.

Your FS values the fact that you are someone who seeks to resolve problems through communication. You strive to approach others and engage in conversation before acting without careful thought. Your natural inclination towards rationality allows you to navigate and resolve situations without unnecessary drama.

Your FS appreciates your ability to keep secrets. They trust that anything they confide in you will remain confidential, making you an extremely reliable person.

Your FS admires your ability to always find a way. You navigate paths with confidence, even if it means breaking down barriers to progress. Additionally, you have a keen sense of direction and excel at using maps and location.

Astrological Placements you may have:

Cancer/Pisces/Scorpio placements; Dominant Libra; Taurus/Capricorn/Virgo placements; More planets in the 4th/7th/8th and 12th house.

Pile B

Your future spouse (FS) appreciates your adventurous nature and how you enjoy getting out of the house to experience new things. While you find comfort at home, you also have a desire to explore and bring back new experiences to your safe haven.

Your FS admires your appearance of being a more traditional person, someone who dresses and behaves in a formal manner. They also appreciate your rationality and ability to express your emotions in different ways, showcasing your emotional intelligence. If you have a fair skin tone, they find it particularly beautiful.

Your FS is drawn to the mystery that surrounds you. There is always something new to discover about you, something you keep hidden from others, and they are intrigued to unravel your secrets.

Your FS values your wisdom and the way you have transformed your pain into knowledge. They admire your belief that everything has its own time and that timing is important. You are likely older than your FS, and they seek your advice and guidance.

Your FS admires your ambitious mindset. You think big, dream big, and refuse to diminish yourself for anyone. You are unafraid to assert yourself and communicate your needs.

Astrological Placements you may have:

Cancer/Scorpio/Pisces placements; Virgo/Taurus/Capricorn placements; Scorpio Dominant; Saturn Dominant; Pluto Dominant; a touch of Gemini/Aquarius/Libra (only one or two placements); Planets in the 8th/12th house.

Pile C

Your future spouse (FS) appreciates your organizational skills and how you are always planning things and maintaining cleanliness. You take pride in feeling physically and spiritually clean, and you make an effort to create a fragrant environment, whether it's at home or at work.

Your FS likes that you are someone who goes through phases and embraces change. You don't follow a rigid routine but instead allow life to unfold naturally. You adapt and know what needs to be done when situations arise because, as mentioned earlier, you are a planner. However, you don't plan every detail of big things. You are also someone who easily changes preferences, be it in hairstyles, clothing, books, or music.

Your FS is drawn to your dreamy nature, which also carries a hint of mysticism. You frequently engage in mystical practices such as tarot, astrology, or reiki. Your FS not only accepts but also appreciates this aspect of you. They see you as someone who has insights into the future, bringing comfort and reassurance.

Your FS likes how well you can blend in. You effortlessly adapt and integrate into various environments, to the point that you might almost go unnoticed. You are not noisy or attention-seeking; instead, you are composed and can easily fit into any space without causing disruptions.

Your FS admires your dedication to studying and your love for reading. They appreciate that you enjoy learning and also have a creative side, possibly in writing or drawing. Even if you don't pursue those activities professionally, your passion for them shines through.

Astrological Placements you may have:

Gemini placements; Uranus dominant or well-aspected Uranus; Neptune dominant or well-aspected Neptune; Virgo placements.

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whovianderson · 3 months

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Why does Fox Mulder mean so much to me?

Trigger warnings: discussions of trauma, abuse, cancer, suicide, depression

Fox Mulder is so much more than a character to me. Never have I seen the inner workings of my mind represented in the way that I do in him. I feel like we understand each other, like we function the same way in this world.

Not to state the obvious, but Mulder is traumatised. Samantha’s disappearance changed his brain chemistry, and in turn, his life. As someone who has complex PTSD as a result of relationship abuse, I relate to this more than I can say. In ‘Oubliette’, Mulder’s desperation to change the course of events was out of fear of a repeat of what happened to Samantha. In this, I see myself trying to ensure that nothing like what I experienced happens again, both because of its effects on the other person, and on me. Of course, I've had to learn the hard way that I am ultimately powerless to control what happens to others. The difficulties I’ve had coming to terms with that are portrayed perfectly by Mulder's distress when he realised that Lucy had sacrificed herself for Amy, despite his best efforts. There's also a sense of inevitability and inescapability from the cycle of trauma when such things keep happening that is deeply harrowing.

In ‘Demons’, Mulder’s fear of not knowing something traumatic that happened reminded me of what I have been grappling with for years. As well as trauma from a past relationship, my sister has further traumatised me due to her severe mental health problems. It would trigger my own too much for me to know everything that is happening to her, but the unknown is worse for me, because I can't process it. My traumatised mind jumps to the worst case scenario. Thus, once again, Mulder’s reaction to being left in the dark felt like I was looking in a mirror. The sympathetic way in which his behaviour in this episode was written shows how no reaction can be considered disproportionate when it's because you're traumatised, and that is beyond validating for me. The depiction of flashbacks here also felt painfully accurate.

In ‘Memento Mori’, I recognised a lot of Mulder’s emotions due to my own experiences of life-threatening illness in people I love. Little did I know how much harder ‘Redux’ would hit! In ‘Redux’, Mulder believes he is responsible for Scully’s cancer and impending death. I know firsthand what it’s like to hold yourself responsible for someone else’s life, what it feels like to believe that you are killing somebody. I was continually shown that I couldn’t save the very person who told me I had to, because she kept getting sicker. As a result, other people’s suffering has become synonymous with my own personal failure and the consequent guilt in my mind. I would rather be failed by somebody else than have failed myself. This means that exactly like Mulder, on the verge of suicide in this episode, I would rather be the one who dies than feel so crushingly guilty. While horrible to witness, I have never seen the mental deterioration of a character who has assumed responsibility for another’s life so accurately portrayed, and that makes me feel more understood than ever before.

The entire premise of ‘The X-Files’ is that Mulder refuses to come to terms with his sister’s disappearance. His constant search for an alternative explanation, no matter how far-fetched, is what drives his character from the beginning. As an audience, we can see how that’s a form of denial, as can characters like Scully. Scully says “if it’s only by knowing where he’s been that he can hope to understand where he’s going, then I fear Agent Mulder may lose his course”. I haven’t finished the show yet, but having watched seven seasons, I am confident when I say that the crux of its development is that Mulder comes to understand “where he’s going”, without relying on “where he’s been”. As someone with a past that they quite frankly would rather die than relive, it brings me so much hope to think that I don’t have to dwell on it, that like Mulder learns to over the course of the show, I can live my life free of its shackles. That’s why ‘Closure’ is such a significant episode. However much one tries, it is impossible to explain away trauma - it happened, and one simply has to come to terms with its incomprehensible injustice. That is exactly what Mulder does here. It’s ironically titled, because there is no closure when it comes to the past, but he shows that personal growth isn’t dependent on getting that closure. Instead, he is of his own volition able to let go of the coping mechanism that has driven him up to this point: his belief that Samantha was abducted. Engaging in various types of therapy, including EMDR, to overcome my own coping mechanisms in response to my trauma is the scariest thing I have ever had to do (and that’s saying something). Seeing not only that journey represented onscreen, but shown coming to fruition, means everything.

Mulder’s trauma should incline him to be distrustful of everyone, as his ‘trust no one’ catchphrase would suggest. He evidently knows this, and yet he wants to believe in other people’s integrity so much so that it overrides the fear, and he trusts them anyway. He will take people at their word, whether that be about UFO sightings or something else. He chooses to see the good in everybody, despite having every reason not to, because, in his words, “if you don’t start trusting someone, you don’t stand a chance”. This attitude is possibly the aspect of my own personality about which I am most insecure. I used to hate myself so much for it that I wouldn’t open up to anyone at all in an effort to change who I was. I suppose I hated acting against what my experiences had shown to be true: that I could ‘trust no one’. Since meeting Mulder, though, I have thought of him every single time I begin to hate myself for being this way. This soothes me more than I can possibly describe. He makes me feel like it’s okay to be like me, or should I say, like us. Me wanting to believe in other people is not the detestable thing I had always viewed it as. I don’t think I would be able to carry on if it weren’t for his presence in this part my life. I cannot overstate his impact on me here.

Part of the reason for both me and Mulder being so trusting of others is because we do not trust ourselves. Deep down, he is insecure about whether his belief in Samantha’s abduction is credible, and so he relies on others to evidence it. For me, I do not treat my experiences as legitimate, and so I need other people’s responses to give me the validation that I cannot find within myself.

If it weren’t already obvious, I am autistic. My predisposition to trust, taking things at face value, is one manifestation of my autism. That’s not to say it’s the same for every autistic person, of course, but for me and for Mulder, I believe it is. In general, he is one of the most clearly autistic-coded characters I have ever encountered. He is ostracised by his peers and written off as ‘spooky’ for being different, something that many of us go through. Maybe, like it is for me, that’s part of the reason why he trusts people right off the bat: he wants to get the rejection that he’s used to facing out of the way before he puts in any effort. Or maybe he’s just a bad judge of what is and isn’t appropriate in a social context, again very much a trait of autism. And that’s not to mention his devotion to the X-Files and to Scully. Him surrendering every part of himself to them is exactly how I relate to the world, because all-or-nothing thinking is a huge way in which my autism functions. I was actually only diagnosed with autism two years ago, and having representation, implied or otherwise, in a character as alike to me as Mulder has helped me settle into my new identity.

It would be remiss not to further explore the fact that Mulder wouldn’t be Mulder without Scully. In the pilot, he tells Scully about his theory because he desperately wants someone on his side. She ends up not being the person he thinks he wants, but the person he actually needs. Without her, he wouldn’t have made it to the place he does in ‘Closure’; she challenges the beliefs he uses to cope, but most importantly, she loves him through it. Scully shows Mulder how genuine love can be when you’re not just being told what you want to hear, and as a result, she becomes the only person whom he can truly rely upon. The most important similarity between me and Mulder is of course that I too am in love with Scully! Scully is an incredible character who I would love to write more about in her own right, but I don’t feel as personally connected to her as I do to Mulder. I guess I’ll just say that I hope that I, and every other Mulder out there, find our Scully. People like us have so much love to give. We love so much and so deeply that people who return our love in full are almost impossible to find. One in five billion, you could say.

I cannot wait to get to know different facets of my all-time favourite character as I finish watching ‘The X-Files’. I know he will only become more important to me, especially since I know he ends up struggling with depression like I do. I hope I’ve demonstrated in writing this how beyond grateful I am to have been introduced to him, someone who is practically more me than I am! The fandom is a wonderful place to be, but in writing this, I also aim to remind myself how much the show and Mulder’s character mean to me personally.

Like Mulder, I am constantly moving, driven by the thought that “I wouldn’t know what I’d be missing”. But every once in a while, something comes along that makes me want to stay with it forever. And ‘The X-Files’, specifically the character of Fox Mulder, is one of them.

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stalltherain · 11 months

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Manifest finale spoilers. I'm about to rant.

What the f-ck was that ending?

It might as well have all been a dream. Other than Mick meeting Zeke, a few people disappearing, and Saanvi's cancer treatment coming out soon enough to treat Cal, nothing is different than if the show had never happened.

I'd have preferred the characters find happiness in their shitty world. Or heck, even all of them dying in their shitty world to sacrifice themselves for people they love (that would have required a different setup from the beginning of s4 so that we saw the people that the passengers loved).

This ending reminds me of the dilemma in scifi where a character has to chose to live in a happy fake world or a tough & gritty real world. The show writers chose the happy fake. I'd have preferred to see the real world.

I was optimistic for this season and really had hope this show was going to be better than previous shows about explaining the mystery. Of all the theories of how it would go, resetting back to the plane not crashing was the most boring one & what I really hoped wouldn't happen. I guess it's a satisfying-ish ending if you had low expectations.

I just thought we'd actually get some answers, and was also disappointed by all but one of the character's endings. Since the show chose to ignore the mystery and focus on character stories, I'm going to address my issues with those.

TJ lost Olive, but immediately seems to forget her because another cute girl shows up.

Mick ends her relationship with Jared, because he wants kids and she doesn't, but how did that never come up for them in conversation before. Took my opinion of both of them down a bit. Then, 5 seconds after Jared got dumped by the woman he wanted to marry, he's already flirting with another woman. Took my opinion of Jarod about as low as it can get. Shame because I had actually liked him.

The Cal, Olive, and Grace we knew are all gone. Never going to even exist. They're basically fake versions of themselves now. Grace is reset back to season 1, which means she's the annoying version I wanted Ben to dump. Also, how is Ben going to explain that he had sex with someone on the plane? Season 1 Grace would not be open to the whole "hey, we went to another world or whatever" story. She didn't believe anything Ben said about it until she saw it affecting Cal. There's no way she believes his story if she hears it led to him sleeping with someone else. Unless Ben plans to lie to his wife, she's leaving him soon. If he does keep it a secret that he slept with Cal's doctor, that just means she'll leave a little later. Keeping that secret will destroy their relationship. It was a really terrible writing choice to have Ben and Saanvi hook up and then just go back to their previous partners like nothing changed. I think they're great together, but I'd have preferred nothing happen if that was how it ended.

The one thing I really wanted was for Saanvi to realize that she deserves better than the person who kept rejecting her over and over, but nope. Zero growth. I felt so bad for her and feel like from what we know of Alex, she'll go right back to her family soon. Or maybe Saanvi will get enough self esteem to get angry at how Alex treated her (both by not taking the flight and by how she repeatedly rejected her in the real world).

Vance is back to being kind of a jerk who knows none of them. I suppose I'm glad he has his family back, but his character development was meaningless. I'd rather have seem him get his family back in the real world.

The only ending that didn't suck was Mick found Zeke based on what he told her in the real world. I personally wasn't attached to Mick with either guy, so I wasn't expecting her ending to be the most satisfying. At least one story we watched ended up having meaning.

After so many shows have ended disappointingly, I just really wanted one to stick the landing. (pun not intended, but I'm keeping it) This ending was a major (pun also not intended, but I'm also keeping it) bummer.

I don't know how go wrap this up, so I'm just going to drop this. In five years or less, Ben and Grace are definitely split. So are Saanvi and Alex. Hey, maybe Benvi will get back together then. Lol.

#manifest netflix #ben x saanvi #benvi #manifest nbc #rant #manifest tv #manifest finale

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chezzabellesworld · 21 days

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Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton

Forget Megan Fox for a minute, and her partner Machine Gun Kelly a.k.a. Colson Baker these two are the original crazy couple. They were known for coming to Premier high off their not on stuff mainly heroin and never jokes according to the blind I am to the love of each other lives forever and when are you looking in there in their synastry you can see why.. so what was it about? These two? That made them so appealing to the general public? I’ll tell you what they were different. They appealed to the weird kids. They appealed to their and popular kids, they even appeared to the popular kids and people who didn’t know how to express the side of themselves from a very young age Angelina had a very let’s say unconventional sex life for someone very young, her mum even allowed her to have her different boyfriend stay in the house and it’s so believe that she went out of one of her mother’s partners. I don’t know how true this is but I’ve had it a couple of times.

Angelina loves her mother, unfortunately she lost her mother to cancer which gave Angelina the ideas to get tested for all the things that her mother had and she had her breast removed and she had the test for like cervical things and she had a very high chance of getting what her mother had, John VOIGHT, who is Angelina‘s father? Have a very strange relationship. They work together on a film. I believe it might have been too raid or films she did after it and they worked together fine on Saturday and bloody bloody blah blah criticism like a lot of Angelina life you can see that she’s been really criticised by those places that even the general private making fun of her for adopting babies from other countries which in the early 2000 seem to be a massive thing with her and Madonna, I’m not sure maybe because they were older but Angelina isn’t that old I feel like she just wanted to help children from other countries. He didn’t get the chance to have a mother around that subject for another day.

I think the thing that makes her different between her and Megan Fox is the fact that Angelina was doing this before. This was even a thing she invented the whole being different and a bit crazy and kind of like when the rider but we have more of an edge , in fact, character girl interrupted reminds me of what Angelina could actually be like in real life especially being a Gemini 🌞 sun.

Carrying each of his role of blood around each one and others necks with a thing with these two also this is where I believe things went down for Angelina after Billy Bob but like I said if you want to believe the bond these who have been hooking up and secret for many years , and after they broke up and said having sex with her like having sex with sofa , very bitter and mean .

So now let’s get into the ministry of these two birth chalk and add a little spice to what’s going on here…..

His son is Leo. Her sun is in Gemini. Her moon is an Aries with a cancer rising making her moon the chart ruler she was born on June 4, 1975 in Los Angeles at 9:09 am a late cancer ascendant Venus is almost exactly rising in cancer and a tight square with Uranus and Jupiter closed and exactly the same conjunction of the midheaven. She has an Aries moon which is conjunct her Mars and Aries her mercury is in Gemini.

Billy Bob has a number of planets in Leo mercury Venus mars Jupiter and Pluto, although his moon is opposing to Leo being an Aquarius, which has a Scorpio myself is my favourite moon sign?🌙, so although Angelina‘s birth time is accurate, we don’t have one for Billy Bob here we go there Billy Bob has a huge coralstion reaction of planets in Leo with all the personal planets except the moon in Leo with this concentration and he’s going to impact another person in a concentrated area of their charts in the case of Angelina impact on her house. No wonder she couldn’t keep her hands off him you see guys this is how it happens and cussing on that house the second house is in but for her it would be in Leo and the second house being ruled by tourist generally and always let’s take away the factor it’s her chart is to do with the senses adding the part where they said they couldn’t keep their hands up each other, he is almost exactly conjunct her Venus in sin. This aspect is a major indication of attraction the Venus person in this case Angelina is actually unfed with the Uranus person and the begins quickly quickly and this kind of election electric attraction ruling electricity,,,,

The sinner story between the moon is remarkable. Their son is in trying with the moon moonshine mercury many sex ties involving personal planets and more Angeline son moon midpoint at 13 15 is activated by Billy Bob on Mars and Saturn is a two-way mars and Jupiter and the list goes on in an interview with the Rollingstone Angelina has described how she felt when she met Billy Bob it was a feeling of disorientation. It’s no wonder at all.

The couples shed quite a few natal configurations for example Angelina has been escort Uranus aspect as dominant aspect in her chart and bill Bob has Venus conjunct Uranus both attracted to the unconventional exciting relationships both have Mars conjunction Jupiter in fire signs indicating in insatiable appetite, adventure activity and sex.

Then, if you wanna go a little bit deeper, you can look at composite charts, Which is a different way it’s not like sin is how the relationship has viewed in the public how the relationship views and different parts of an aspect of the relationship rather than the compatibility and say this composite chart however has some serious clashes are most obvious in the composite chart chart reveals the ultimate fate of relationship. Mars conjunction Jupiter and aspect present in their individual charts and these planets are involved in a T square with the moon car on Saturn neon and Pluto the noodle actress is immediately involved with this configuration as well.

Some released from tensions of this configuration is found in mercury which tries the moon and Kairon the Sextile the volatile urine is Saturn and Pluto and Neptune which trying moon Cron and sex tiles Uranus, Saturn and Pluto the three square is volatile in his power and energy with Neptune supporting some of the elements of the free tries and sex ties we would expect that the couple was able to talk things out and come to some acceptance of diverse and extreme energy present in their relationship at least some of the time..

He wrote a song about her….

I can understand him being so attracted to Angelina Jolie who isn’t she has his elected of tea with people even with that woman Jenny she feels things straight away which I give her and her moon and Aries being in the same and being passionate and seeing things through straightaway.

You are a strongly involved of the moon mars and Jupiter might have been easier to handle for the couple has both Angelina and Billy and they to leave configured to handle urinating in relationships, however Saturn tightly can jump glue to opposing and squaring their personal plants is much more challenging to grips with. Even though Venus looks at first glance to be unrespected in the composite chart it Semi Square Mars, Jupiter and Saturn Pluto forms Square to moon Kron Venus is involved and his challenging manner. All of the clashes present in the composite chart certainly worse stimulating and exciting but dementia too demanding.

Let’s go with Angelina having these challenges with Brad Pitt where she was attracted to him straight away and vice versa and both being mutable signs where they can adapt and become basically mirroring the signs, a Sagittarius and her being a in Gemini, here is some more with Brad Pitt people over expecting interest in a relationship between Angelina and Brad astrologically speaking the sinister between the two is for less striking and the example above and not hugely binding especially if Angelina Saturn or Brad North node which is often a separate aspect and his mercury and Mars opposing her Saturn with many of Brad’s personal planets falling in Angelina is six S. there is an imbalance present in the relationship which may over time be draining.

So now I want to take you to the blind item world, and we will look at some Angelina and Bob blind items alright so blind items are about celebrities where they’re a bit play onwards that they can’t say exactly who they are and there sometimes give them nicknames but here is one from September 15, 2019 and remember guys he broke up in the early 2000 supposedly it looks like the Oscar winning actor is getting closer to confirming that what I have been saying for a decade he is still hooked up with the permanent A-list mostly movie actress of his and has done so despite who they might have been involved with over the years, isn’t that right? Sport .

NT lawyer crazy days and loves to say this about Billy Bob calling everybody sport …. she’s been hooking up with for decades supposedly she does her own PR here is another blind item dated April 10, 2012

Number one is Academy award-winning actress who is an A-list apparently still believes in old flames she has slept with her ex-boyfriend a few times in the past year because she just can’t get him out of her head. I wonder what her A-list actor would think of it

Number two this A-list movie actor has a very unusual girlfriend for his first celebrity fling. She was probably B+ this movie actress at the time as it is now a wacky being minus with other interest. Our actor had never met her but told the male producer he could not speak with him to get apart back in the day because he had a girlfriend her was the first one he came up with and had to say with her until the producer finally gave up number one revealed

Angelina Billy Bob and Brad Pitt

Number two Brad Pitt Juliet Lewis

Here on lipstick all over find more Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt find items reveals July 8, 2016 and remember this is the time they split and things weren’t really sour. They were actual going up to the room of this A+ list mostly movie actor married to another A-list actor I never knew he was a stripper guy. He was always being a sucker for a PR people group Pitt/Angelina Jolie

28th of April 2016 this this mostly movie the actress is in bad shape health what is the drug uses out of control and she is slowly wasting away nothing Angelina Jolie very sad some of these

28th of July 2015 the wedding of his oranges new black address is on hold not for any other reasons giving but she is enjoying all the access with fans that she has been having in the past few months. She managed to hook up with this A+ this may be amazing actress and that is Ruby Rose and Angelina Jolie October 8, 2015 is a mostly movie address who is A-list more for fame than acting at this point has dropped so much weight that our husband has someone with her to make sure she eats at least at some food every day too many fainting spells and emergency goes to the doctor for dehydration. I’ve led to this

I wanna end this on a good note , Angelina has been out of the public eye for a bit. I feel recently and hopefully she is getting some good time with her children and looking after herself we’ve got a member she was very young when she hooked up with Brad Pitt and he was at least 10 years now, he was married and he should’ve known better. We’ve stop blaming things like this. He’s probably told her many lies about him and Jennifer and they probably won’t even together millennials Angelina was a blood sucker but now we love her. I’ve always loved her. She was like I celebrity crushes a woman she’s just so beautiful. I do hope she manages to sort her problems out as that video of her doing heroin and being on the phone to her dealer, which is really worrying she needs to have people around her if she is a good person I just wanted to show you may seem very appealing and the machine gun Megan Fox , Travis Barker and Kourtney k there are many problems too

#astro observations #astro placements #astro community #astrology #astrology observations #astro notes #astroblr #fypage #angelina jolie #billy bob thornton #billybobangelina #synastry #celebrities #msjolie #brad pitt

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ismelinor · 9 months

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Tantalus

Read on AO3 | tagging @today-in-fic | word count: 3,413

Summary: Mulder kisses Scully while she has cancer - and naturally, they never talk about what it means. Scully overhears Mulder calling it a mistake, and her hurt and confusion colour her view of their tumultuous relationship during seasons 5 and 6. TW: vague reference to suicidal thoughts.

There was nothing extraordinary about the day he finally kissed her. In fact, looking back, she’d be hard pressed to say which day it was: they all blurred together, those interminable hours spent on hospital beds, waiting for another visitor to stop by with wide, sad eyes. It made her feel like she was already in a casket, her loved ones processing past the body to say their goodbyes.

~~~

In the early days of her cancer, she’d found herself strangely fixated on a memory from her time on the oncology wards as a medical student. Mrs Baddesley was the lady’s name. Scully always thought of her as Mrs Baddesley, even though you can call me Polly, dear was practically her catchphrase. She remembered presenting her to the consultant, in the days when presenting a patient was still something new and nerve-wracking: This is Mrs Baddesley, seventy-three years old, presenting with a lung tumour secondary to an ovarian tumour. Treatment is adjuvant chemotherapy. Cisplatin appears relatively well received, with some nausea and vomiting reported.

Scully (who was just Dana in those days) got through her presentation relatively unscathed. The consultant had grilled her on mechanisms of action and drug distributions, but she wasn’t top of her class for nothing. As the doctor swept out of the room, her classmates following in his wake, Mrs Baddesley had clasped Scully’s hand. She looked down in surprise, worried that she’d offended her, but she was smiling.

“You looked more nervous than I am, and I’m on my third round of chemotherapy,” she said. Scully ducked her head, embarrassed: she was still learning to don that mask of clinical detachment. Mrs Baddesley squeezed her hand. “It’s a good thing, dear. I’ve banished my poor husband from the hospital, and it’s nice to meet another human being round here.”

The remark had confused Scully at the time, but it wasn’t until a month or so later that she understood it. She’d come across Mrs Baddesley again, this time in the outpatient waiting room, and had sat down to talk to her. She was doing well, she said. The chemotherapy hadn’t worked, but she’d made the decision to stop treatment. She smiled as she spoke about how she wanted her last months to go: she didn’t mind where she was, as long as her husband was there.

After a lull in the conversation, Scully asked why she’d not let her husband come to the hospital. Mrs Baddesley nodded, like she approved of the question. That was how Scully learned something her textbooks hadn’t told her: that patients could develop aversions to certain smells and tastes if they were exposed to them during chemotherapy. Turkey had been Mrs Baddesley’s favourite food before her first experience with cancer – and then she’d been given a Thanksgiving dinner during the worst of her chemotherapy, and ever since, the very sight of turkey made her retch. This time around, she’d been so scared that she’d develop an aversion to her husband’s smell that she wouldn’t let him visit her at all on the chemo days.

Scully never found out what happened to Mrs Baddesley, but her story had stuck with her over the years, and came back with full force after her diagnosis. In those early days, when she’d still had hope that, with the right treatment, she might make it through, she’d been careful to eat only bland foods. She’d switched out her bath salts and body scrubs for cheap unscented body washes. She’d even asked her mother to stop wearing her signature perfume, the one that always reminded Scully of playing dress-up with Melissa in their mother’s blazers.

She couldn’t bring herself to ask anything of Mulder, though. The idea of being deprived of his scent in those days when he seemed to do nothing but wrap his arms around her – it was unthinkable.

And then, of course, it didn’t matter. She wasn’t going to make it out alive, so she didn’t need to worry about associations and aversions after all. That was what she was thinking on that totally un-extraordinary day in the hospital as Mulder sat on the edge of her bed, holding her hand. Odd as it sounded, she was glad she could smell him to her heart’s content.

She wondered what he was thinking, looking down at her with dark eyes and the hint of a smile. She didn’t have to wonder for long: he cupped her face, leaned down, and kissed her, just like that. For a moment, all Scully could think of was how chapped and dry her lips must be, but then he licked at them and all rational thoughts made a swift departure. All that remained was God, finally and yes, yes, yes and her hands were tangled in his hair, pulling him closer.

It took a long time for him to pull back – about two minutes too long for it to be quietly brushed off as a quick peck between friends. He had a dazed expression on his face, which Scully thoroughly enjoyed. She sat up to chase his lips, fingers still carding through his hair, but the movement proved too much for the precarious state of her stomach, and she leapt out of bed to the toilet – a move she’d had too much practice of lately. Her lunch was in the toilet bowl – the Jell-O Mulder had pressed on her quickly threatening to join it – and she felt him stroking her hair back.

They’d been through too much together for her to feel embarrassed by this little episode. Once she was done, Mulder kissed the crown of her head and left her to clean her teeth. He had to get back to work; he was going to find a cure, he told her – he’d told her that before, of course, but this time…well, this time, she had a really good reason to hope he was right. That kiss was a promise. If she got better – well, they wouldn’t be interrupted by any ill-timed vomiting. She’d make sure of it.

~~~

And then she had gotten better.

There was no kissing yet, but that was okay. She was still recovering, and she knew that he needed to recover too.

There was promise, though. Something was shifting and shimmering between them: she could see it in his eyes as much as she could feel it within herself. It didn’t matter that they hadn’t put it into words: Mulder was right – they had an unspoken communication between them.

Driving to a teamwork seminar, whispering in the back of the car, she thought this might be it. Time away from the x-files, no life-threatening danger, plenty of time to talk across towers of office furniture. She was a little disappointed and more than a little irritated when Mulder blew off the conference at the first opportunity. He seemed to be blowing her off too, which worried her; it was something he’d done all the time when they’d first met – running off after leads without so much as a by-your-leave, but he tended to be more thoughtful these days.

She wondered if he was waiting for her to say something. That was fair, she supposed: he’d been the one to kiss her in the first place; perhaps it was her turn to make a move. So, she walked into his motel room with a plate of minibar wine and cheese…and naturally, he was completely oblivious and hightailed it out of there like his ass was on fire.

Still, they end up practically cuddling on the forest floor – and, realistically, wasn’t risking death by exposure and huddling for warmth much more them than wine and cheese? She wasn’t going to let the opportunity slide, so she told him about her anger when she was diagnosed with cancer, talked about giving her struggle meaning, and looked down at him, hoping that their unspoken communication would bring him the words she couldn’t quite say: that he had given her life meaning. He had brought her hope when all hope was lost, had loaned her his faith when hers had run out.

She hoped he understood.

~~~

It was a few weeks later that everything went wrong.

She’d bought a new pair of heels – the last ones had snapped when she was chasing down a suspect – and they were hell on her arches. She’d taken them off in the bathroom on her way back from lunch and was padding down the hallway back to the office, wincing with every step, when she heard Mulder’s voice through the door. She caught her name and decided to do some eavesdropping (what was a little eavesdropping between friends?), keeping her steps as quiet as possible as she approached the door.

“-and I told you that in confidence, Byers.” That wasn’t very promising: he was on the phone to the lone gunmen, then.

“I know you think I should tell her. You’ve told me a thousand times. I can’t.” Huh. Scully strongly suspected that she was the only ‘her’ in Mulder’s life. She certainly hoped so, after the way he’d kissed her.

“It was a mistake. A moment of weakness. It’s never going to happen again, so I don’t see why we need to talk about it.” Scully had a nasty feeling in her stomach. She didn’t want to listen anymore, but she was frozen in place. “You didn’t see her in that hospital bed. She was dying and there was nothing I could say or do to make it better.” Oh God.

“I know that, Byers. It was the lowest moment of my life. You think I don’t feel guilty enough? All I think about is that goddamn kiss-”

Scully backed away from the door, vision whiting out for a moment. He wasn’t – surely, he didn’t mean-

She turned and walked back down the hall as quickly and quietly as she could. She didn’t stop until she was sitting in her car in the lot, hands on the wheel and tears streaming down her face.

How could he?

That was the only question in her mind for the entire drive back to her apartment.

How could he call their kiss the lowest moment of his life?

How could he gossip about it to his friends, like she was some one-night stand and not his partner of five years?

How could he have kissed her in the first place, if he knew he didn’t have feelings for her?

Ha. Well, that explained the severe lack of reciprocation since her recovery. He hadn’t wanted to kiss her in the first place. He’d seen how much she wanted it – had pitied her – and figured he’d never have to follow through, since she’d be fucking dead anyway.

That was when the rage hit her.

She’d always had something of a temper, though she’d learned to push it down, only let it out when lives were at stake. That annoyed her too. She hated being called fiery – hated the not-so-subtle references to her hair or her biology. The men she worked with never seemed to need explanations for their anger – nobody smirked and asked if it was their time of the month, sweetheart.

As she slammed the door to her apartment shut behind her, she gave full vent to her feelings. Mulder was a jerk. He was as bad as those immature, misogynistic G-men she had to deal with every day. No, no, he was worse. He’d played with her hopes when she was at her most vulnerable, and apparently had never even planned on telling her that he regretted it. What, he was just going to leave her waiting for another kiss for the rest of her life? Asshole. And she’d seen the look on his face after they kissed; that was not the look of a man at his lowest moment. Maybe he’d reflected later on and grown to regret it, but he was lying to his friends and to himself if he said he wasn’t on fire in that moment, just like she was.

~~~

After a while, the rage subsided, and she just felt sad. She loved her job, she really did. She loved working with Mulder – she loved Mulder – but the idea that she would never have more filled her with profound sadness and indescribable longing. She wanted a life outside their quest – something to come home to after the long stake-outs and the brushes with death and the flirting in cars. And she’d really thought that was within her reach.

She was Tantalus: she’d stolen the secrets of the gods, and her punishment was to see everything she ever wanted just out of reach. Her safety – her sister – her health – her child – and now Mulder, all slipping through her fingers.

She was sad for herself, but she was sad for Mulder too. As soon as she was calm enough to think it through, the situation started to make sense, because Mulder wasn’t a jerk. She knew the way he’d been treated after his sister disappeared – the way he was blamed and the way he blamed himself – how he had twisted himself up in knots to please parents who barely acknowledged his existence. And she’d had some insight into his former relationships, none of which sounded healthy; she was willing to bet that he’d changed himself for those women too – that he’d forced himself to do things he didn’t want to in order to please them, because he felt like he didn’t deserve better. So, of course, when he saw a dying woman’s dying wish in her eyes, he’d fulfilled it, without a thought to what he wanted.

It made her sick, and she was still angry that he’d talked to his friends about it instead of her, but she understood it. And so she wiped her tears away, stowed away her anger for the next time lives were at stake, and drove right on back to work. When Mulder asked where she’d been, she managed a tight smile and told him she got stuck in line at the bank. The pencil that fell from the ceiling and hit him on the nose told her he’d missed her, at least. The smile on his face when she told him that the dinosaur-human hybrid he’d been doodling was downright anti-Darwinian was something close to love, wasn’t it?

~~~

The thing was – the thing was, that really would have been enough for her, had she never met Diana Fowley. She could have very readily believed that Mulder loved her as much as he was capable of loving another person: he was entirely devoted to her, she knew – he’d coughed up a half-dozen heartfelt speeches and a round trip to Antarctica to prove it. And Scully could take all of that – all the not-quite-love-confessions and the hospital visits and the forehead kisses – and she could mould it into something that was Enough.

But, no. In Diana Fowley there was living proof that Mulder, like her, wanted it all – had had it, too: a partner in his life’s work and a lover all in one. And suddenly it wasn’t Enough anymore.

Maybe it was childish and selfish, but if all those things between them that gave her life meaning were, to him, a mere echo of a life he’d shared with someone else, they were worth less to her. She couldn’t tell him that, of course. He seemed a hair-trigger away from calling her jealous and delusional at the slightest mention of Fowley – never mind the fact that she’d come to him with very real grounds for distrust.

These days, she felt like she was out at sea – that she was on her little boat of science and reason, being tossed about in his cosmic storm. She drove to work each morning wondering whether he’d be sweet or dismissive; whether he’d argue every little point with her or belly laugh at her wry jokes. It was maddening. He tried to kiss her a second time – he abandoned her to run off with Diana – he told her he loved her – he told her she was making it personal – he played doting husband – he played baseball with his arms around her – he called the debates that were the core of their partnership a perfunctory dance – he called her his constant, his touchstone.

What the hell was she supposed to make of it all?

~~~

It was after the world didn’t end in a hospital corridor that she finally just asked the question that had been on her mind for two and a half years.

“Mulder, why did you kiss me when I had cancer?”

He stared at her, opening and closing his mouth before finding the words. “I couldn’t help myself. I thought we might not get another chance. Same reason I kissed you in 1939.”

“You what?”

“Never mind that, Scully, why-”

“Yes, never mind that. The real question is how can you stand there and lie to me after everything we’ve been through together?”

“Lie to you? I’m not lying, Scully.”

“You are!” They could both hear the sob in her voice, and Mulder reached out to touch her arm but she flinched away. “I heard you on the phone to Byers. You called it the lowest moment of your life.”

“What? Scully, I never said that, I swear. I would never – all these years – every day, all I think about is that goddamn kiss.”

“You said that, too. I heard you, Mulder. You said it was a moment of weakness, and it would never happen again. You were pretty adamant on that point, actually. But it hasn’t stopped you trying, has it? Twice, now.”

Mulder stepped away, pale as she’d ever seen him. He remembered it, then. She wiped away a traitorous tear.

“I know what you mean, Scully. Or…I don’t remember the exact conversation, because I had a lot of phone calls with Byers that went something like that. But we weren’t talking about the kiss.”

Scully turned to leave – she wasn’t going to stand here listening to his bullshit excuses – but Mulder walked over and took her by the shoulders.

“Please listen to me, Scully. Please, please, hear me out. I can’t let this come between us any more than it already has.” It was the same tone of voice he’d used on her in a different corridor, but it was the feeling of his hands shaking on her shoulders that stopped her. She nodded at him.

“When you were sick – when it looked really bad, and I knew it was my fault that you were dying – no, don’t, it was – I did have a moment of weakness. I went back to my place and I drank too much. Nothing happened, I swear, I just thought about it. I got out my gun and I thought…but then I thought about you, and about our kiss, and what that meant, and I knew I couldn’t do it. It was just one moment, honestly. I called Byers and told him everything while I was still drunk and he talked me down from it. Once you got better, he wanted me to tell you, but you were still recovering and I didn’t want you to feel like you had to take care of me, and –”

Scully pulled him into her arms. She didn’t care about the kiss in that moment; all she could think of was how close she’d come to losing him, and she’d never even known it. God, what the hell would she have done?

He was still mouthing apologies into her neck so she pulled back and cupped his face in her hands.

“You didn’t regret it?” she asked.

“Not for a second.”

“You never brought it up again.” Illogical as it was, she found it hard to let go of the hurt she’d been carrying around for so long.

“Neither did you. And then, with Emily…I figured you needed space. I thought you’d say something when you were ready – and when you didn’t, I figured you regretted it.”

Scully laughed, though there were tears running down her face. They could figure out a global conspiracy but one little kiss had thrown them through a loop it took them two years to get out of.

She stroked his cheekbones with her thumbs: my constant. She stroked his lips: my touchstone. And then she kissed him, an answer to the promise he’d made her on her deathbed.

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tarotnoob · 2 years

Text

PAC: What type of abundance is coming your way?

Please pick a pile and scroll for your messages.

---

Pile 1

Okay, so a couple of things that come to mind are a sort of sensual self-exploration. Part of me wants to say it's actually kind of like a sexual awakening but I think it's more like that same type of euphoria but in a spiritual manner. Because, what I'm getting is a lot of feminine energy, a lot of sexual energy, a lot of nurturing and spiritually sensitive energy.

So, in terms of abundance, what I feel is like empowerment but not in a very strong and masculine sense of the word. It feels very much like a coming into your own, answers coming to you but in a way that is more spiritually satisfying.

I think you know what keeps me from saying it's completely sexual is the fact that there's also a lot of virginal high priestess energy. That's why I say I feel like this is more about some type of spiritual satisfaction. What that could possibly entail in terms of actual things happening to you that we could predict, I guess if you are a woman interested in other women, this would be a good time for you especially, because I see some exploration of that a little bit but I guess what I'm feeling is that if you are seeking any kind of answers, your solution seems to lie in meditating and searching yourself for the answers.

Because we have a lot of purples especially which is tied to the crown chakra, we have a lot of cups and that obviously speaks to our emotional side or are spiritual side.

So there is something coming to you and even if it's not physical, I guess it could come to you in terms of energy or people you meet come up but I definitely feel like you are setting off on some type of new spiritual phase in your life.

And I mean certainly for some of you it may be a sexual awakening or like a self-exploration kind of sexual awakening.

I'll just put it this way, what it kind of reminds me of is if you had never had sex before, and you were a virgin, which is what that means but I mean to paint a picture as if you were a young teen and through some type of more beautiful experience like out in the farmland and everything went right and then you wake up the next day and you're just like walking through this field of wheat or something and it's like oh wow that makes me feel like a whole new person.

I think it is also possible that there could be a romantic interest coming in. I would lean more toward someone who's interested in women because it almost feels like a female energy is coming in but if it's not romantic, you could receive some kind of good friend, female or a lot of feminine energy to them. Because in the three of Wands I actually see this as another person that you meet and somehow that sparks this journey maybe because you both have similar spiritual beliefs or you have somebody to talk to about these beliefs. And it kind of moves you. Like this person could move you in a very emotionally deep and spiritual way. I'm not saying this person is a Scorpio but it's that level of deep emotional connection, could also be cancer-energy.

Whether it's a friend or something else, I do wonder if there's an age difference. This could also have something to do with someone's relationship with a sister or an individual that is female or has a lot of feminine energy but you would be significantly close.

Enough that the two of you would spend time together chatting about deeper matters. You might even chat about dreams, talk about music, talk about art or poetry. But it still seems like a lot of what you talk about and share is very spiritual in nature.

For some of you I don't know that this is a new person, it could be somebody you recently met... Because there is a more new exploratory vibe to this.

I think that October is breast cancer awareness, and there is such strong feminine energy and there's even a breast on the maiden, so I would also suggest just out of a courtesy side note, that if you are of an age or susceptible to breast cancer, you might want to make sure that your exams are scheduled.

For me, there's a lot of emphasis on the shape of a circle or orbs in these cards. This could be related to the moon, I guess I would lean more toward a full moon. But again that also goes back to feminine energy and cycles. There's also a lot of emphasis on flowers and blooming like being at the height of blooming. So I just see a very strong peak of feminine energy, which is that energy where you want to just sit and wait and receive instead of trying to chase anything.

So that may be an indication of the best way to attract this kind of abundance where I mean it's not going to rain down money on you, this isn't that piles type of abundance. This is definitely a very strong spiritual and calming and healing energy that should be overtaking you. And also the addition of a closer type of relationship with someone else, probably a feminine energy, where there's something very healing about this relationship however temporary and that it somehow touches your heart on an emotional level. This could also be about reflecting upon a past relationship.

Like, if you have been thinking about a best friend from 10 years ago and you were really close or if you even had a friend with feminine energy who passed away, I would say that I feel like this person is hanging around or trying to help or wouldn't want you to be sad about that situation. Because there's something very reflective about this queen of cups. But, I feel like it's almost like this queen of cups has something to teach the other person, who may present as a night of cups. This could also be about expansion in terms of personal growth.

Where the queen of cups is looking back at how far she's come and acknowledging her emotional or spiritual evolution. Because like I said the night of cups and queen of cups could be the same person and then we have the two figures joined in three of Wands as if coming together.

Other notes, purple could be a strong color for you right now, it might help you tap into whatever this very calming, healing energy is. It definitely seems like a very chill and stay still energy, which could be nice if you've had a pretty rough last few months or something.

Mostly I feel pretty strongly that this has to do more with somebody coming to you and having some type of temporary deep emotional or spiritual connection or conversation with this person that kind of touches you in a way that feels purposeful. As in it's like this person is destined to bump into you but it still feels kind of short in a way. But it would be meaningful. Almost like in this one moment where you needed somebody to pat you on the back or do something nice for you, this person pops in and is a catalyst for putting you back on the right track.

If you were feeling a bit pessimistic, somehow the interaction with this person kind of ups your vibration almost as if somebody sends them and is like okay this person needs a refuel on their spiritual tank right now.

I would also say if you're interested, it might also come in the form of other people finding you really sensual or attractive right now. It could also be that you'll find a lot of people opening up to you about really personal things. Almost like they're reading you and feeling your energy and feeling like they're very safe and that you will listen to them or be sensitive and understanding.

I don't know what the kosher word for it is anymore but like there is somewhat of a gypsy energy here and I mean that in a positive way but I'm getting that strongly from the queen of cups so I definitely think this person has a very strong type of spiritual nomadic energy.

I know this is really random, but it's also possible that you could know this person from a past life. And I would probably go into specifics like maybe it's just for one person, I don't know but it's either that you could have known them and both been alive in the late 1800s to early 1900s or that this image is just to convey someone in this situation is I keep wanting to reference Zelda not the game but Zelda Fitzgerald, you know like the Great Gatsby writer's wife. Somebody very classy and aesthetic and stylish and interesting. Sophisticated.

It's a really high level of feminine energy, almost something you would expect from somebody very wise spiritually or a higher self type of energy or an older sister or an older aunt. It's not really like a mom energy. It feels more like an older female who would guide you but isn't that direct line like mom to daughter. It's either someone's self to their younger self, or two female friends that are slightly different in age, two sisters, yeah.

And also if you're interested in this, it might be an exceptionally fertile time. It could be a universally fertile time to get things started and growing of course or be tied to the moon and its phases but it could also generally be a fertile time for things physically or sexually or spiritually.

You know and even though I said it's not raining money, it's also possible at the time where you buy yourself nice things like clothes or get your hair done or acute hair band, but it's got that treat yourself type of vibe as well. So I would tell you maybe another message is even if your spiritual, it's okay to make yourself feel good in a materialistic way. Because that's important too, if something makes you feel good and it makes you feel pretty or sexy or appealing just on your own terms, that's a certain type of power as well, that type of confidence and willingness to treat yourself and get yourself things that you want and that make you feel good and pretty.

And not to get to Freud but the nipple imagery could just be about like nourishment on a spiritual level. Having connections and doing things that feed that type of energy. Now would also be a good time to take like a soaking bath with flowers or a bath bomb. Dress yourself up in a way that makes you feel good or attractive in your own terms. There is a lot of flowing dresses and natural hair and just very naturally beautiful images here but also very powerful. It kind of gives off that Taurus energy as well. Maybe a little bit of Libra too because I always think of aesthetic and Libra as going together. But to me mostly I'm getting a lot of cancer Libra Taurus and like a really light Scorpio. Not a dark Scorpio but like a Libra Sun with a Scorpio Mercury or something.

It might be a time to like I said where you're going to attract a lot of conversations that end up on a deeper level. Longer, deeper, more satisfying conversations. That would bring you closer to somebody else.

Yeah so good for you some type of spiritual sensual empowerment abundance.

---

Pile 2

There's a lot going on here, which makes sense because a lot of cards came out. So, what I see here is something going on with the oracles that seems to have to do with someone feeling abandoned or isolated because we have the orphan and then we have acceptance and let go and get more information and the poet. So at least with the orphan let go and acceptance there's definitely this theme of some type of feeling that does feel like feeling alone or feeling abandoned, I don't necessarily feel that I was going to say somebody did something really hurtful and intentional but I mean if you feel this way, it probably was hurtful. But I guess what I also sense is like there's a bit of information missing as well. Like something hurtful could have happened but then it could also be a misunderstanding.

But anyway what do you think the get more information would probably more relate to is what's going on with your tarot, where we have two of Wands and a queen of swords. So it looks like there is something going on where you need to make some type of decision, but it looks like you need more information on whatever it is that's coming. And we know that something is coming because we have Ace of pentacles.

So there is some type of new offer or new message that's coming through, and it seems like you will have to make a decision on what to do with it. I guess the first thing that comes to mind is maybe you'll be offered an apology. And apology or explanation, from that you might be able to make a decision on what to do next.

It could also be another situation in which not letting go of something is actually blocking some type of abundance for you.

The poet card is interesting too because for one it feels like it's tied to these types of emotional feelings, we have the king of cups here as well, so there is some level of mental and emotional things that are going on with you. I know that's vague but it's easy to come up with situations where okay I'm feeling emotional about something and the mental part is kicking in because I'm feeling emotional about this but I need to make a decision on it. And I'm starting to like overthink it, you might not be following your heart or you want to follow your heart, but your brain is like I'm not really sure this is the right decision. Which would make sense because it looks like you just need to wait and have more information.

I'm also getting strong writing vibes. Like if you were writing poetry, it would be very melancholic or emotional or deep. You might have been drawn to the first pile as well because it had that similar emotional ties with something deep.

Yeah the more I look at the snake, the more I'm kind of thinking of seven of swords. So it definitely could be two separate situations where there was some type of recent betrayal. And it could be time to cut off certain relationships. It could be that you're not sure if you should do that.

Like you've been hurt by this person but you're like am I being over dramatic or is that really the right decision. Do I need to have more proof to be sure that this person did that. Do I need to have more information to find out if just for an example since we have the king of cups here and romantic stuff could come in, but is this person going to be committed. I mean it's weird because if you have an ace of pentacles, yeah you would expect it to be committed. But at the same time I'm just getting the sense that maybe you're uncertain about this person's feelings or intentions.

So there might be two groups here where one person or you know several of you need to let go of someone who has hurt you enough and made you feel abandoned and then there's this other group that is wondering if this is going to happen or is uncertain about the way another person is acting or feeling toward them, but I actually think you would need to give this person more time. If somebody has hurt you to the point that they made you feel bad, you're in the group that needs to get rid of this person. But if you just aren't sure about this person but you're interested in them but you can't like read them, I would say you're still in the phase of give it time and don't really do anything but just kind of observe and watch.

Personally, if I put the oracles away, I would think like it could be a one-sided situation because we have the queen of swords facing the king of cups but he has his back to her. So it could be that the queen of swords is interested in this guy, but he's like not even checking her out. He's not even looking her way. So for some of you like I said, it is unrequited. For some of you it's just new and maybe you need to give them more time. There's also a sense of being curious about the person. This doesn't have to be romantic.

It can just be that somebody knew has entered the picture or someone you haven't considered before. It doesn't have to be physical or sexual or whatever but like just somebody who's entered the picture that you're curious about or who has piqued your interest for some reason.

And okay let me break it down very specifically lol It's so one person could be an air sign or is just doing a lot of thinking okay. There seems to be something that's taken root with the queen of swords. Like this could be solidified interest in this other person or it could have been an offer. But, it's like the queen of swords either hasn't made any type of moves and is kind of waiting to see or gather more information. But there's something here that solid. It might not be the other person's feelings but it could just be one person's interest and curiosity.

Now the other person involved could be a water sign or have some type of heavy water placements. But they seem kind of aloof. I don't think they see this queen of swords because they either don't know each other or he or she or they don't know that the queen of swords exists or the queen of swords somehow is aware of this king of cups but like you know through mutual friends heard of them but the king of cups isn't aware of her.

Personally I kind of feel like the ball is in the queen of swords Court. I almost feel like the queen of swords has this impression that there's something about this king of cups. Like something significant like almost as if two people were to me and maybe they were soulmates. But the queen of swords feels it and then the King of cups seems to be oblivious. It's very strange. And when I look at the Queen of swords you know this queen is very detached and pragmatic, honest, so I guess she's just trying to assess the situation here.

And if it's not current and it's not that situation this could be somebody from the past that was a king of cups figure and the queen of swords seems to be dwelling on this situation and what could have been if different choices had been made. But personally in that situation it seems like the cards are pointing toward acceptance and let go.

So it just depends on what group you fall into. And I do feel like there is a sense of even though there is this kind of cold detached queen of swords, it almost feels like she's become this way because her heart's been broken because she used to be this poet. Which makes sense for the queen of swords as well because she's a master of words, but it's almost like a certain maybe romantic situations that didn't work out would be something that she would write about most. Write stories about love or longing.

But yeah a lot of it seems like some type of past relationship that didn't work out and dwelling on that or either a situation where there's some interest in another person or thinking that maybe this could work out but the other person just is like not putting as much into it.

In some cases, there could be like a strong obsession with this person. I mean I guess it's possible that this could be somebody's infatuation with somebody famous who has no idea that they're even alive and that the famous person might also be a creative type like a poet energy. So again there's that unrequited type of situation but it could also be more about this king of cups character.

I mean granted it's always possible this is one person's energy like somebody who's queen of swords and king of cups and I'll talk about that after I talk about this but let's talk about this king of cups character if they are somebody else. So, I would see this person as being creative and sensitive for sure, maybe even somebody who writes songs or writes poetry or speaks very poetically. And they might have kind of a sad background story. It could be that they were literally an orphan or have some type of tough upbringing story where one parent wasn't there and this person seems very preoccupied with some pain in the past.

Gosh I'm getting so much stuff it's weird it reminds me of this YouTubers who are like oh my gosh I'm getting this message now lol but like I don't really get messages I just look at the cards and find new interpretations. Because I guess it just depends on what situation it is but like maybe this queen of swords feel some type of sympathy for this person. Even if this person might have done them wrong or ignored them. It's like the queen of swords feels sorry for them or something. And maybe that's why they exceptions and let go messages are coming because it's like you did all you can do, you couldn't help that person. Or you know you think more about this person than they do of you.

This person if they are another person and not just you, it seems very wrapped up in their own feelings and experiences and let's just say is kind of like an emo main character. Basically Romeo. Romeo before he meets Juliet when he just whines the entire time to mercutio about Rosaline and 5 seconds later sees Juliet and was like wow she's banging let me hook up with that 13-year-old

So yeah this person is like a Romeo main character, you seem fascinated with them but they aren't really as fascinated with you.

Yeah I would feel comfortable saying that they basically don't know you exist. That or the other interpretation could be that this is well in the past and you haven't moved on but perhaps the other person has or signs are unclear here.

Because the only situations I see for this being two people would be unrequited or you unrequitedly being focused on a past interest or relationship or person that didn't work out or abandoned you or left you or whatever. You might have had a moment at one point but it's passed and it's time to move on.

Now like I promised I will talk about this if you don't relate to the relationship part and these court cards represent two aspects of yourself.

Sort of similar to when I started talking about the other person, this would definitely make me think of somebody who writes for sure. I get strong like literary vibes. But again it could be somebody who speaks in a very earnest and poetic way. Or somebody who thinks in a way that is artistic or creative. But I'm more strongly interested in the idea of words.

There is definitely a decision that needs to be made by this queen of swords. It's I'm guessing she is aware that she needs to make this decision because she's put on the armor and she knows that she has a choice to make okay. The choice might have to if we look going in the opposite direction whether or not to extend an offer to someone. Now I'm going back into the other person thing because I guess it just really reads like that lol but let me put my hand over this King of cups and pretend he's not there. This just would coincide with that poet and sensitive nature. In that case, if there are decisions, I actually feel like you want to turn your back on your heart and you probably want to go with logic and being rational in the situation.

It could even be a goal that you have your heart set on but it might be that it's blocked or you have to rethink how to get there and so you have to let go of your one particular way that you're seeing it and accept that that's not going to work, get more information, and try again. And that's what the queen of swords approach would probably be as opposed to a king of cups who might like be really upset that things aren't going his way. Or like he was like wow I really want this so if I just like put a lot of passion into it as opposed to you know there might be other things involved that have to take place that are logical.

But also as a person I guess I imagine somebody who's like an air sign but with some type of water placement so like they tend to be super overanalytical especially about emotional topics, like relationships or things that upset them. So that could be another part of it where I was like you're getting really upset about something, and getting yourself all worked up and that's why you're in the sword energy. In like you just need to hanged man it.

Also this just coming through lol It could be about more than that. This could also be a father figure. I don't know why that falls under abundance but maybe the cards were like screw your theme we're just going to do what we want which is pretty much what they always do

So I guess there could be an opportunity to forgive somebody like that or you don't have a chance to forgive them in real life because you don't know where they are or they've passed away, but there might be a decision you still have to make regarding that relationship. It could be something like okay they passed away and someone contacts you and they have some of their belongings, do you want to take those belongings. Because it does look like you're getting offered something, but you have to make some type of decision on whether or not you want to go forward on that path.

It does seem a little bit more likely that this is focused on something to do with the past because the court figures are all facing in that direction and side note it totally felt like somebody just touched the top of my head as I said that and I had to stop and be like oh my God did a bug just land on me but it was nothing

I will tell you that this apartment needs to be cleansed because there's either some funky energy in here in a negative sense or I don't know. Ironically given what I talked about in pile one, there's so many at work I've been talking to a lot about spiritual stuff and I have totally I did a reading for her like in the first week but I totally can tell that she has like a weird type of ancestral medium energy that she later said she had and I had brought up in her reading. But like the more I interact with her and I'm around her I'm like I almost feel like the things that come to her are like trying to follow me around thinking that I don't know like I'll be able to tell her stuff. But I don't work that way so I don't know

Shout out if you're reading this Mikaila

But anyway I don't know why that touched the top of my head but that tends to happen sometimes when I do readings It's creepy

And so what was I saying I wonder if that means that I was saying the wrong thing or the right thing

Okay so maybe that is definitely an indication that this has more to do with something related to your past. A past relationship with somebody and they just aren't there anymore. They wouldn't be somebody you can rely on. And maybe it is that you didn't get to say something to this person. You didn't get a chance. You wanted to tell them that you felt abandoned or you know it feels like there's so much that you have to say about the situation or person whether it was negative or positive. But it does seem like you probably had to let go and the more I look at the ace of pentacles now the more I think rather than to see that as something that you get it looks like the coin is being released from the hand so again there's this type of let go four of pentacles kind of energy coming through.

And I think more than anything it's almost like somebody holding on to guilt as well. Like it definitely feels as if you know what if I had done this What if I had done that What if I had whatever but the cards just say let go and acceptance.

And even if there was no betrayal involved they could just be that this orphan card is kind of representing being locked up in your own thoughts kind of like the devil energy. Kind of being stuck or obsessed with the situation or person and letting go of them or whatever. But I can tell you I just don't feel like the king of cups is interested or is there anymore.

And I think you have to make the decision to let go because it's like you see this person and you're like obsessed with this situation or person and there's a decision that has to be made and the decision is like letting go of this Ace of pentacles

Do I see any situation where it's like a solid offer, not really. I don't see anything in the oracles that indicate anything positive toward that and I don't see anything in the tarot based on just like looking at the images and the directions that they're going and what's happening in them. To me I would tell the queen of swords figure you know figure out what you need to figure out to make this decision but ultimately, it looks like it's something that the queen needs to decide to let go of but maybe she needs to do it in her own time because she's kind of like being very sentimental and out of character. It's like she has some sort of fantasy or vision of what this relationship was like making it better than it is. Or you know wanting it to be more

But I just depends on the circumstances here like if you're obsessed with some type of celebrity they don't know you exist and maybe you should accept that lol

Me talking to myself about Jimin

No I did not start singing lie

But let me try to snap back into that one person energy because as one person there's not really like an abundance message but let me try. One person I still feel like if it's one person it's somebody being a bit nostalgic or like okay thinking about the past. But that still is basically being sentimental and nostalgic. It's weird for a queen of swords but who knows why that's there. It could also just be that again thinking about the past and being nostalgic but like the thinking part is coming through strongly because there's a decision choice or path that needs to be made here about a past offer or message or connection.

I mean in some cases do I think maybe there was a connection sort of kind of because look at the way there is a link coming from this Ace of pentacles with the rainbows it's like there was a connection to the king and there is a connection It's blocked by this two of Wands and if I ever said two swords I apologize I mean two of Wands obviously. So it could be that like something disconnected these two people because of choice hasn't been made or a choice was made or I don't know but if there's a block it's in between the face of pentacles and the queen of swords. And what's in between that is a decision card so it could be that whatever is blocking from this person had to do with some type of decision that was or wasn't made. And I would lean more toward wasn't made because we have another card that says get more information

And again that just brings me back to somebody in the past who's moved on either in a physical sense like has died or has moved on because you broke up or you stopped being friends but they kind of like have already done their thing and moved on from it or I shouldn't say I know for sure they moved on It's just that their information isn't clear from the cards as we see them. Like this would just be about you I don't see anything about the other person so either it doesn't matter or the feelings don't exist or we just can't know

In certain cases is it still possible that there's interest but the queen of swords needs to make a move to turn the king of cups around, I don't know. I guess that's possible but like I said the king of cups seems to be preoccupied with his own main character story. And I guess the queen of swords can accept that and drop it or can make a move some type of decision or like solid offer maybe the king of cups is waiting for that type of solid offer but mostly I would think that the king of cups hasn't even considered it lol but if the queen of swords made this offer or said something, sure maybe there are scenarios out there where the king of cups would flip but right now he doesn't know you exist or he isn't in the picture

Sorry that was more message driven than anything about abundance but from an abundance perspective let's look at that. We would just ignore that there could be another person and look at this as one whole all for you.

In that case, I guess what you will receive is some type of information okay and this information will enable you to choose a certain path or make a decision. I just think that information is your abundance. Not very exciting but still important. And somehow whatever information you're going to receive is just going to have to let you or allow you to let go of something except something and move on.

I think it might be hard for you to let go or deal with this because either you know if you have to cut off a person maybe you don't have some type of fear of being alone or have a fear of abandoning them. Like if you have somebody who's pretty self-sabotaging as a friend and you try everything and like you feel guilty for leaving them to their own devices even though they are really problematic and destructive in relationships, you could still feel guilt about letting them hit rock bottom which some people have to do sometimes before they'll make a change

And again it's almost like there's some type of message you might need to give or some type of offer or what's that word, ultimatum to this person but you're kind of dragging your feet I suppose. I guess something about the poet card feels very ironic and I don't know why.

Or I mean because it's almost like being sarcastic about romance because it's like a pantomime of a romance. Which reminds me of Romeo and Juliet again.

And I want to give you like a creepy take on something as well which is almost like somebody trying to send you a message through ESP or something. Because it's like the queen of swords having some type of ESP powers and the Ace of pentacles is this message so that's trying to get through and I don't know maybe it's trying to be willed to this other person. So maybe you've been trying to send psychic or spiritual messages off to a person or you know like communicate in your mind in a spiritual way to somebody who isn't there trying to like call them.

Or it's just symbolic of how much energy you've focused and thrown out this person. Because you think about them so much or the situation.

Like I said I think things that aren't tangible can be represented by Ace of pentacles because the level of energy put into it. So if you think about something hard enough or if you have a belief that you feel so strongly about, it can turn into an ace of pentacles. So it's almost like the queen of swords is like drilling a hole into the back of this king of cups head with the amount of energy she's projecting onto this person

But whether or not it's getting through to this other person I mean it seems to be what's in the way is this two of Wands which is you know choose your path or your decision. And once that happens, maybe it could get through to this person but I've kind of already explained situations like that. Where the king of cups is just at least on a physical level not aware of what you're doing even if like you send somebody good energy maybe they could receive it or whatever but they aren't like aware of it on a conscious level I also just got a headache at this point which happens when I read as well but I will stop there because you get the idea so you're abundance is just in the form of some type of information. Whether it comes to you through someone else or it comes through thinking about it for a while but you will get the answer eventually and it comes as information for you. And information is any type of communication, something you can read online, something you can think for yourself it could even be this message coming to you about the situation.

And a final thing since I tried to share the things that come to me but the poet kind of looks like somebody leaning over and holding on to their head as if like in despair. So that matches up pretty well with that orphan and acceptance and let go energy so again it seems like grief or guilt or those types of feelings and decisions or messages or thoughts that are highly focused on that and what to do about it. But like I said I think the information will come because that's what's coming through as your abundance.

---

Pile 3

You know what's funny is that for the first two piles like there was nothing super unusual about shuffling and then I get to this pile and like the cards kind of just flopped out like a dead fish. And then you look at the cards and there's a lot of mixed messages so to me plus we also have the moon here, it just makes me think there's a sense of confusion. This pile could be related to the previous one as a decision needed to be made there but I didn't really feel like there was a lot of confusion to be had. So it's probably just a standalone pile

So let's talk about the oracles first. We have asked your angels, wait, not the right time, it's up to you but then we have take action, the castle the fault line, the mask.

So I think the confusion for you kind of lies in what action to take. I guess it sort of resonates for the second pile because there is a sense of needing more information before you make a decision which is what was happening with that pile. But also like you know you are in control of your own destiny. We do have the it's up to you and take action cards which clearly mean like I mean it might not be the right time but you can do whatever you want because you have complete control. That's what the wheel of Fortune is about. Of course it also represents all of the fixed signs, or Sagittarius energy.

10 of cups is that ultimate emotional happiness and joy, relationships, family but there's just some type of cloudiness or confusion that seems to be hanging around This situation like some type of uncertainty. And I get that sense with the fault line in the mask. Even the castle because when you put the castle together with the fault line you know you would imagine the castle is having this perfect foundation or something but then you discover a crack in it. And the mask can also represent some type of deception of some sort or hiding something, which again could correspond to the moon.

So personally I kind of feel like there's something that you don't see about a situation or a person. Or maybe it's that you won't see this coming and there is change coming and it is for like the better and happiness but like it's just kind of like if you were walking through a completely foggy forest and you've been walking for a long time and then you had no idea that like maybe a half a mile away on the other side because he would never imagine it, there's like basically munchkin land after Dorothy comes out of the house and it was all black and white and then she walks out of the house and it's like this full color view

So there's like a sense of that. There's like this total confusion on what to do and what direction to go and maybe it's that this crack stuff not the drugs but the crack in the cards is like doubt or something like that doubt if this happiness is coming or this like whole full picture that you've been imagining like you're kind of back and forth about whether or not it's ever going to happen. Which I can totally relate to

So it's like I don't know maybe these are even messages that have come to you where it's like you know if you do this it's going to happen or if you wait it's going to happen or it's just not the right time it reminds me of all of the messages I've ever heard from YouTube Tarot people when I'm like okay but I'm 80 years old and I'm still waiting on my soulmate and you're like oh they're so close and then you die the next day lol

So I guess this is either thoughts going on in your head or messages coming from other people and everything feels quite mixed and confusing. So there could be some doubts coming through from you or there could be some unseen obstacles that will unmask themselves in regard to your plan or that it will actually take a long time for this ten of cups situation you're imagining to come to fruition.

But I will tell you I feel good about it because of the wheel of Fortune. Because it's like it will come but I guess I would say that part of the path to getting there is destiny but it's also like choose your own adventure because there is a sense for me that a lot of let's say you have or believe in the idea of a soul plan which is like your soul made some type of contractual whatever before you incarnated and you have a blueprint but like obviously when you incarnate you forget that you were of soul being and whatever the hell you were talking about before you incarnated.

And your soul was like I don't know I'm going to choose this path where I have a lot more freedom than normal to make my own decisions because I don't know you did it for s**** and giggles or it felt like a strategy game or you were bored I don't really know. But there's a sense of as a soul I'm going to let my person I become make a lot of choices on their own based on like whim or feelings or thoughts or whatever. And that's part of the reason it takes f****** forever to get to the ten of cups because like you screw up a lot and you don't know what the f*** you're doing and when you don't know what you're doing you tend to look to other people for information and those people tell you a million different things and so that never works out

So I guess that's just part of the fun experience in life is f****** around for a while and screwing up and then I don't know at the end I guess he figured it out

I don't know why but in this wheel of Fortune card at the top instead of seeing these falcons they looked like guns to me but I don't really know what that means but don't they look like guns when you look from far away but I don't really know how that would relate to a reading so we'll just let that one go

There is some sense of polar energy going on I don't know if this is soulmate stuff because if the ten of cups you have the two figures and then wheel of Fortune has the two different sphinxes and then we have the two wolves on the moon or I guess you would say one of the wolf and one is a dog

And it's like the two people at top of the moon are trying to bring these two together

So yes I do guess if I could pick anything it makes sense that this could be a relationship situation.

It could be also that there is some type of separation that comes at some point with these two people but of course you know you're separated until you meet or it's like a soul level thing where you've been together and past lives and you were separated until recently or I don't know who knows

We also have the sexuality card which is interesting because I brought this up and pile one and for some reason I felt compelled to leave it reversed so this could be related to some type of asexual or non-sexual situation like there's a physical separation happening it could also be some type of block in your sacral even though this card isn't orange but I associate sexuality with the sacral as well as like that passion drive creative energy type of thing but I think Red just represents passion I suppose but red makes me think of the root chakra and the root chakra would be something you would associate with stability and like I said when there's confusion and this card ended up reversed, there's like a lack of stability in that area and you know for some of you maybe you're having like sexual troubles on your own or sexual troubles in a relationship or it has nothing to do with troubles and might have to do with inhibiting some sexual part of yourself or I guess it could have to do with like alternate sexual lifestyle.

But for me this being reversed is probably associated with the fault line or the mask You know maybe there's something you're hiding or not disclosing or somebody else's in regard to sexuality like if somebody was closeted or if you weren't uncertain about your sexuality or wanting to come out to people. Because like certainly there's this instance of like okay on one side there is the ten of cups and the wheel of Fortune which are great things so it's like change and like happiness but then there's like something going on that's kind of like gosh I don't know about this thing that I'm going to decide or do or what's going to happen and so it's like blocking something to do with maybe sexuality or like I said it's just referring to their some feeling of instability because also with a fault line like you know it makes me think of earthquakes and like not being on steady ground

So again there's just like lots of confusion and mixed messaging happening here. So all I can say is I think despite that, you are on a path toward something that will lead you to 10 of cups and wheel of Fortune type experience I don't know when it's going to happen because for a lot of you I'm going to tell you that it feels like a really really really long road as opposed to me being like wow this stuff is coming really soon like no like you could be at the tail end of a journey maybe and that would make you close but still your journey was like 80 years to get there and it was also like really s***** to get there as well like nothing about it was easy

This could also be kind of like telling about like how long it's been since you've been in a relationship at all and like how long since you've gotten lucky. Or I guess it could be reading somebody who's kind of demisexual like can't feel much sexual attraction to somebody unless they feel a connection with someone or get to know them first

So yeah like this is mostly making me feel like it's calling somebody out for having a sexual or romantic dry spell but like I said I mean there's somebody coming It's going to take a while but they do seem to fall into that soulmate level I think even past lives and yeah I kind of feel like it's your other half but you either went through separation or have been separated for a really long time almost like you're on or have been like if a continent separated the line would have divided you so that you were on one part and the other person was on the other and then he meet later You're like if you were a South Korean then this person was North Korean and like only by a miracle do you end up meeting

But of my feeling is I hate to say it because it's annoying to hear but at least I told you that it would take forever, is that you meet them. I will give you some significant timing sort of I am feeling like the pearls make me think of June, they also make me think of like a wedding for some reason but you know pearls go with June. Or pearls might be significant

We also have fixed sign energy or Sagittarius energy and then the moon is cancer or Pisces. Or just the moon.

I mean technically high priestess should be moon I think and moon should be Pisces but I also kind of think Moon just stands alone

So also somebody's moon could be in Sagittarius or whenever the moon is in Sagittarius is a significant time for something. Even though the moon I'm saying is related to confusion but it could still be when you meet this person or the other person like I said has a Sagittarius moon

I also kind of pick up Gemini energy. Don't maybe you could be like Sagittarius and Gemini mixed or the other person is or whatever. And I still feel strongly that this destiny is fixed and that's why I keep putting the ten of cups in the wheel of Fortune together is like okay you don't no matter how many dots you have or whatever direction you go, like this is a fixed thing that you can't screw up you know no choices that you make are going to make this go away because it's been predetermined.

I also I hate to sound cliche but I do get the impression that this will be a surprise to you like you won't imagine who this person could be because the mask kind of makes me think like you know it's unknown or you won't see it coming or it'll be in a disguise.

That doing everything but like there's also something a little bit darker in here but I don't know what it is This could just be the amount of obstacles and darkness you have to go through to get to this moment like isn't just going through a lot of hardship and pain but I am scared to say that maybe there's also some things up ahead that also still suck which sucks to hear if you've already been through a lot of sucky s***

But it's almost like with the fault line and even the castle and the mask I get this sense of like something lurking I don't know if it's a negative energy or I mean like I said it could be the doubts in your head or the confusion or whatever but I don't know It gives me a weird feeling so you know just in case maybe do some protection spells or whatever makes you feel protected, take some cleansing baths or squirt yourself with some type of spiritual spray or meditate but I don't know it's almost like something is kind of watching you and gloomy from the shadows I don't know what that is though

So anyway in terms of abundance like I said I think the abundance has to be this 10 of cups in wheel of Fortune but to me it's coming through as probably a soulmate situation. Sure it could be platonic but I'm leaning more toward a romantic soulmate situation but it's like weirdly equal. But it's like

Things just aren't as they seem and I don't know why. I don't know if that's because the path is just filled with so many potholes to get there or there's still something waiting that will happen that isn't so great or like an unexpected separation does happen that you don't see coming because look even in the wheel of Fortune and the Moon even though these figures that I mentioned like the Sphinx and the wolves are so close they're still like something separating them. Like there's a path between the sphinxes there's this water between the wolves.

At least the 10 of cups characters are together but like they're also stuck on a rock with water around them. So it could just be that eventually you have the 10 of cups but like in the meantime you're going through some type of separation because you don't know each other yet cuz it takes that long to meet them or I don't really see it as you knew each other and separated I just feel like you've been separated up until the point that you meet like completely somewhere else and eventually destiny happens and you end up in the same place but it is going to take forever

And adjust don't know if you'll see that it's going to be this person. Maybe because it's not what you imagined or they display themselves as something else at first and throw you off or you don't feel it at first and there's like even when you do come together there's still some type of distance for whatever reason I don't really know. Maybe because they're presenting themselves as something or who knows and maybe that's why these other cards are like wait not the right time because this is the journey like you got to ask your angels for help and then you'll go through periods of time where you think that it's this but it's not actually that and then everybody gives up and they're like

I don't know it's up to you and then maybe when you do get to the point where you meet them and there's some type of distance between you for some reason like I mentioned with the second pile, you'll have to be the one who decides or takes action. But the other thing that it comes through strongly here is definitely some type of distance between the two of you whether it's physical or like just when you meet up even though you see each other finally there's still some type of thing that needs to be crossed before you can get together and maybe that's related to the reversed sexuality card who knows. Maybe there's not an immediate physical attraction on somebody's part or who knows that could be anything or maybe it was supposed to be upright and it'll be crazy times but not really because when I look at it it kind of reminds me of the three of swords because it looks like a heart with some swords going through it however it is reversed by the way so that would mean like you know getting over heartbreak which kind of again relates to pile two

Tell maybe I should have gone into something more that resembles pile two in the sense that this could be for people who something didn't work out but that doesn't really correspond other than you might have thought somebody else was the one and then that ended and then you meet this person after all of that and that's why it's kind of a person he didn't really expect because you didn't see it coming because you thought it was going to be somebody else so yeah so in conclusion I guess you're abundance will have to be some type of exciting romantic situation. But like I just don't feel like it's coming super soon unless like I said you're at the end of that very long journey and then like I said special days could be June or Sagittarius time or even a Sagittarius moon situation or I guess like June into July since I said the moon reminds me of cancer, or it could be related to the fourth house which makes sense for Castle because the fourth house is about home instability, especially with relationships or people you live in your home with

So yeah somebody's moon could be in the fourth house which is pretty common anyway but especially if you have a Sagittarius moon in the fourth house interesting. And that would kind of fit with the 10 of cups because the fourth house would be water-based and so you have this fire moon in a water house which I don't really know what that means I just that would be very specific

And yeah so the energy of the people could be Gemini or Sagittarius or shirt even cancer but I feel more Sagittarius Gemini potentially sure some fixed signs which I forget all of them Taurus and is it Scorpio and whatever You get the point

So yay Good for you before you die you should be able to meet someone!

#pick a card #tarot #abundance #spiritual advice #tarot reader #astrology

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beenjen · 1 year

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It’s about that time. Vacation has arrived. Work has been intense of late, I’ve not been giving my best, even at that I would say I’m above average, and that’s not without merit. I care A LOT about my patients, I’ve just been in survival mode. Waiting for this time off. Where I can unplug, get caught up on laundry, dust, repot my plants, paint some furniture, finish the bathroom project upstairs, get the garden off, make a medicine wheel. More than anything else, I just want to hang with Chris.

It really feels as though we should get an extra credit award, win the lottery, come upon a tax break (which absolutely did not happen this year). It’s been really heavy heavy for the last year. One year ago everything hit with my brother and his teenage daughter, then mom wasn’t able to tolerate chemo, then dad had his second diagnosis, the drama with my in-laws, hospitalizations, dads third diagnosis, in there C’s job was being transitioned back ‘in house’ at the university, then we had the damage to the back retaining wall, my work drama, further decline from mom, the official diagnosis on dad, mom passing, my niece was put on suicide watch, it has been toasted turds for awhile…. boom, boom, boom, one right after the other.

If I’m being completely honest, the last 5 years have been that way. It started with my grandmother breaking her arm, surgery, prolonged hospitalization, rehab, we had to buy a piece of property from her to pay for her in home care, she passed, I found out I was almost 7 months along with Lilith, then we lost Bacon (my soul dog), and as soon as I returned to work, dad had a relapse on his prostate cancer and mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. It’s been a barrel run since then.

I went to a medicine wheel yoga this morning. I didn’t go for any reason, other that it was interesting to me, and the time and my availability aligned. Turned out to be brilliant.

I did that past life regression class to support my studio a year or so back, I posted on it I think, maybe I didn’t. In that class, and I’m a realist and an optimist at the same time? I’ve always had a naive leaning, wanting the best to happen, aloof - shading the experience with that - each ‘flash back’ for me was off of a grass lined hall, and I opened doors looking into a scene. One scene was C and I, he was a Viking warrior, or what my mind credited to it. Another was very odd, the details are hazy, it was an experience I don’t have the words for, but the sensation was that it was Chris. Then there was a 3rd and final experience, it reminded me of that 70s show with Red and Kitty, and she was wearing dresses, 60s-70’s style kitchen, and c came home from work, I turned and looked over my shoulder at him, smiling, there was a toddler playing in the floor. So, suffice it to say Chris manifests to me at times in my heart, maybe we were connected before and star crossed lovers, or maybe I’m an enthusiastic romantic with vivid dreams.

Today in the class, it was about the Cherokee peoples medicine wheel. The wheel is 7 points, very closely aligned with the 7 chakras… interesting how 7 is a deeply spiritual AND religious number. Me thinks things have more in common than different my lovelies (?).

Our teacher/guide, was Rachel. She’s a very personable person. Comfy feeling. Real. There were 2 times she asked questions about guiding our thoughts and life paths, and each time, what came to me was Christopher. One I think was ‘what gives you wings? Freedom?’ And another I believe was ‘what opens your mind, heart, yet keeps you firm in your life?’ And he was the answer to both.

It was special. More so as C and I celebrate 15 years married this week. He and I have both had separate events/conversations that made us both feel connected and that we really made a good choice of partner this week - how cosmically cool?!

My grief path hits unexpectedly. Today, it was taking a load of laundry out of the dryer, and having the kids lay on the bed while I piled it on top of them. My mom used to do that to me on the couch, and it was special. The warmth was so comforting. That she always remembered when I was home I liked it and would seek me out. She had a gift to make everyone feel special.

I have moments like that where I FEEL her. MISS her. Realize all over again that she’s no longer with us. I think that will happen for the rest of my life, and I’m not sorry. I WANT to remember her. Be close to her how I can. REMEMBER what she brought to me.

My dad has his second chemo this week. It’s actually on our anniversary. C is cool with us picking up dad, taking him, and spending the day with him. Our picture this year, may be one of dad with us in the field behind our house (our annual anniversary photo). I feel pressed to do this. I felt the same to make Easter big last year. I won’t poke that too curiously because I have a heart ache deep inside that I know what this means.

Meanwhile we celebrated my brothers birthday yesterday. Have the garden boxes curing. Tomorrow is the first day, of C and I getting some kid free time, and I am looking for abundance in this life.

Let’s focus on abundance not lack. Perspective friends. That’s all it takes to turn this game around xx

#big foot #Spotify

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doctordbd · 8 months

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Where I’ve been.

TW: talk of self harm, attempting. Extremely long and depressing.

Hiiii, it’s been a while, surprised to see so many people still interacting with this account after me being gone for so long, just wanna say that you guys are super cool and I don’t deserve to have you guys still around.

Now to talk about what you all wanna know, where I’ve been. I’m not going to get into detail about some of these topics because some things are too much to go through right now.

A lot of things has happened to me in this year and, I don’t wanna jinx it but, this has probably the worst year of my life, from my grandmother dying of cancer, my parents ongoing divorce, and getting kicked out of our apartment. One after the other, they just kept coming when I least expected it.

I had to move back into Chicago and live with my mom’s friend and it has not been good. For the first few weeks I wasn’t working because I had to transfer from my old job to another one closer to where I am living at now, but they weren’t hiring just yet so I had to wait. But just know, I wasn’t working right away so most of the time I just laid on the bare mattress that I brought with me to Chicago. I was a husk of a person at that time, nothing felt real, I never thought I would have to move back into Chicago, with so many bad memories that I wanted to forget.

I felt disgusted with myself, that I was just sitting around not doing anything while my mother was still in Aroura (which is where we were living at the time) taking care of the kids by herself. She couldn’t afford to quit her job yet because she was our only source of income, she had multiple mouths to feed, including mine. And my dad wasn’t any help like always.

I felt powerless, like I was burdening everyone around me. It had gotten to the point where I wouldn’t shower or eat and if i did eat I would just throw it up and beat myself up for wasting food.

I felt like a little kid again, and I hate feeling that way, it reminds me too much of living with my asshole dad, I’m not going to go too much into detail with him because there is so much to say but I hate him, I dislike him with every fiber of my being. He has done things to me and my family for years that I cannot excuse and I wish he burns in the darkest pits of hell.

ANYWAY, I was and still am at a very dark point in my life. I have contemplated taking my own life a lot and I almost did, I am not going to lie to you, I had a gun in my mouth before, the safety was off and I was ready to go, I felt like my life had no point and that I will forever and always be a lazy good for nothing person, that whatever I did was never good enough. I was ready to see what would happen after a person dies, but I never pulled the trigger. I don’t know why but I hesitated and I started thinking; I can’t kill myself, I didn’t want to be the reason my mother had to mourn for the nth time this year, I didn’t want her to do this all by herself because even though she tries to hide her struggles, I see all the pain she has to endure. I didn’t want to leave this earth knowing my mom had to do it all on her own, I didn’t want my mother to give up too, so here I am, still breathing, holding onto that little bit of hope I have that things will get better. Hopefully they will because I cannot guarantee what will happen if it doesn’t, but we are all trying.

Anywho I am going to be gone for a while but reckoned I could give you guys an explanation as to why I was gone for so long, love you lots. 🫶

#tw: mental health #tw: depression #tw: sucidal thoughts #sorry for being inactive #love you #I didn’t section the last part good because I was tearing up #idk #this feels dumb I might delete later #first time in a while I came back to tumblr

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12percentspider · 6 months

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No you know what, I'll slap it together.

So our first bit of evidence comes from the new blog itself.

Now if you compare to the other insulin scammer I've looked at, this one acts a lot more like that paypal-jumper scammer from a while ago. About that time, though, I got an angry anon (lol) to mind my own business. Funnily enough, I had at the time assumed it was from the insulin scammer that was going around then, but actually, I may have been hit by "apollo's dodgeball"...

The cipher at the bottom of the reply?

"But Spidermod, that doesn't-" Hold on. Let's get back to the current scam for a second. [And here's where I put a cut, because it's going to get long and very uh, "Charlie in the mailroom".]

So the first thing of note here is that it's the same exact scammer. But I didn't go looking up Key's post until AFTER I had found the old URL. I needed the url in order to do that. See, it turns out that my twitter investigation turned out a reply that upon donating, someone got harassed by money requests. The user denied this and claimed to be unable to do so. [Reminds me of someone!]

I had a name to work with from the twitter and stumbled across this. Of course, the OP was deactivated. So uh, that's when I decided "I bet Key's got it archived". CORRECT. So if you look at the original version of the post with the archived "old paypal", a smashed-in version of the name given looks a lot like uh... wanngera.

Which happens to be another scam blog that I tracked to a twitter with an extremely similar twitter-matching situation. It just so happens that this time someone called out the scammer for spamming, and I was able to see that before it was deleted. This previous one though, that went down really fast before there could be any further slip-ups.

So I think it was last Tuesday 11/7 when a blog had the exact same scam as the wanngeras blog up. I had not registered the url in my mind and there wasn't proof yet so I didn't make a proper post about it until I remembered it was familiar. I also uh, was out for the count that day. HOWEVER. The only blog that didn't have THAT good of proof yet was 'milkydonutsh'. //Laura admitted to being milkydonutsh.

Below link: LONG AS HELL but it has a detail that I further want to take into consideration. It's important and probably a helpful read but the whole thing isn't immediately relevant to this post, most of it is context at this exact moment.

So there was the "cancer girl that didn't get very far" and that blog was deleted very quickly. I propose that that particular blog was wanngeras. Laura's known for taking her crap to twitter.

I propose that since the widelys blog (also Laura) whose story mirrored a twitter I found and the fact that I was able to get the exact same situation for the wanngeras blog, AND the fact that the same thing came true for the current scammer... the current insulin scam is in fact Laura Deramas.

If you research/know Laura's general tactics/behaviors it matches up actually pretty well. To the point where even if anyone else were to admit to this [extremely likely not], they'd have to be absolutely hellbent on copying her for some weird reason or another, and I doubt anyone would attempt that.

#case update #well anyway keep your eyes well peeled

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sentinelpri · 2 years

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La Vie En Rose

James Wilson is heartbroken as he walks through the front door of Gregory House’s apartment, his bag of leftovers in one hand and his keys in the other.

“Oh, God,” He groans and locks the door behind him before setting the food down on the coffee table. Unsurprisingly, House opens the bag, pulls out the box, and starts eating what’s left of Wilson’s steak, mashed potatoes, and brussel sprouts with the plastic fork the restaurant provided. “It was terrible.”

“Sounds optimistic. I just can’t wait to meet her,” House rolls his eyes and looks Wilson up and down as the oncologist sits next to him on the living room couch. “Where’s she at?”

“Not right now, House,” Wilson loosens his tie, leans his head back against the couch, and covers his face with his hands. He wants to scream, cry, and laugh all at the same time. “I’m really not in the mood.”

“What happened?”

“It went horribly. It was so bad, House, I don’t even know where to start,” Wilson complains and holds his head in his hands, thinking back to the date. He and this woman had mediocre chemistry at best to start with, but then they started having small talk and he brought up the fact that he was an oncologist and things took a turn for the worst. She broke down crying at the dinner table, vented to him about how her friends had pushed her to start dating again even though she still missed her dead husband after two years, talked about how evil pancreatic cancer was so loudly that it caught the attention of nearly everyone in the restaurant. “I told her I was an oncologist and she started talking about her ex who died of cancer. It ruined the whole date and she didn’t seem even remotely interested in going on another one, which I can’t blame her for. Not sure if I’m upset that the date went badly or if I’m upset that her utterly hopeless grief and sorrow just killed my mood for the next week.”

“Tough. Guess that comes with the profession,” House shrugs whilst finishing off Wilson’s food- probably forty dollars worth of leftovers from an expensive restaurant that he won’t eat at again any time soon. “That’s also what you get for looking in the newspaper catalogue for a date anyway. I mean, seriously? Who does that anymore?”

“Oh, shut up,” Wilson rolls his eyes. “Can’t believe the guy who hasn’t been on a date since disco died is really over here trying to lecture me about my dating life.”

“Hey, you can’t say that anymore- I went on that date with Cameron, remember?”

The reminder of the fact that House ever went on a date with Allison Cameron makes jealousy bubble up in Wilson’s chest, but he refuses to acknowledge it. He just shakes his head.

“No, no, you don’t get to use that against me,” The oncologist argues. “That doesn’t even count! You basically rejected her as soon as you two got there.”

There’s an awkward silence, which is only interrupted by House wiggling his eyebrows and asking;

“Is somebody jealous?”

“Jealous of Cameron? Of course not!” He exclaims, red in the face, but that only earns him a confused stare from the diagnostician.

“I meant jealous of me, but if that’s how you feel…” House chuckles, places a hand on Wilson’s thigh, and trails his digits up the clothed skin. It’s a joke, obviously- though the joke makes Wilson jump and let out a pathetic little squeak before he’s rushing to stand up and give House a harsh glare.

“You’re the worst! Imagine if I actually had feelings for you,” Wilson scolds.

“Do you?”

“Of course not,” He lies, and for a second, he sees hurt flash across House’s icy blue eyes before he thinks better of it. He’s had feelings for House for a couple years. When you’re so close to someone, when you learn everything about them, when you stay in their apartment, when you find them physically attractive… No matter the circumstances, feelings just come up sometimes, and that’s what’s happened to Wilson. Sometimes, the feelings are hardly there and don’t bother him at all. Recently, they’ve been pestering him nonstop, hence why he’s been trying to go on dates to find someone to distract himself with- it’s not like House is anything but straight, after all, so he doesn’t have a chance. That’s what he tells himself. “I’d never have feelings for you. I mean, me and you? Seriously? C’mon, I think that’d be worse than any of my three failed marriages, and that’s saying something.”

“Never, huh?” House says with a scoff, a smile, and a playful roll of his eyes- or, that’s what Wilson perceives it as. “It’s unlike you to be so harsh.”

“Harsh?” Wilson asks, the smile he was wearing dropping. He worries that his words might’ve been too much as he watches House stand up with his cane in one hand and the food trash in the other. “Don’t tell me I hurt your feelings.”

“Of course not,” House mutters and starts to walk off. “You were just being honest. We’ve always been honest with each other, haven’t we?”

And then, he’s gone, footsteps uncharacteristically fast as he speeds off to his bedroom.

Wilson stands there, baffled.

What a weird, awful night.

The next day, Wilson is exhausted as he rolls into work with his horrendous date and his equally as horrendous conversation with House about said date on his mind. He worries that what he said about never having feelings for House might have somehow offended the older man- hell, he wasn’t even there to greet Wilson this morning, apparently having gone to work on his own more than an hour early. House is chronically late most days, and he always rides with Wilson in his car, so the oncologist can’t help but be concerned that he might’ve gone too far…

Worrying his lower lip, Wilson unlocks the door to his office and opens it to see that the lights are already on.

“Huh… That’s weird. Could’ve sworn that I turned that off last night,” He murmurs to himself, shuts the door behind him, and sets his briefcase down beside his desk, only to look at said desk and see a beautiful bouquet of red roses sitting on top of the expensive wood- right next to a heart shaped box of chocolates. “Flowers…? For me?”

At first, Wilson doesn’t believe it. He blinks, looks, then blinks again. It can’t be real- no, it isn’t real. Convinced that he’s imagining the bouquet, he wraps his thick fingers around where the stems are tied together by a rubber band and covered in flower paper, picking them up. They’re very much real, and there’s an emerald green note card tucked between the sea of red petals. He quickly picks it up and reads the words, which are typed out.

‘I’ve loved you for a long time, but I can’t figure out how to tell you. Noticed that you were a little down and thought I’d get you something to express my- for lack of a better term- affections. I hope you like red roses, but if there’s something else you’d rather have, just write it down on this card and put it in the mail drop outside your office. ~ Anonymous’

Someone left him flowers and chocolate. Once he gets over the initial confusion, James feels so elated that he practically runs out of his office and into the halls of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital with the flowers in one hand and the chocolates in the other. Regardless of the weird encounter they had the night before, he knows that the first person he has to show the anonymous gift is House.

To his relief, he doesn’t have to look too far. House is talking with a patient in the hallway, and when he sees Wilson, his eyes light up.

“Hey, Wilson!” House waves, calls him over, even.

So, he’s not mad. Thank God.

“House,” Wilson starts, a huge smile breaking out across his face. When he approaches House, the diagnostician subtly waves the patient away and focuses his attention on him. “You’ll never guess what happened.”

“What? Do you have another date or something?” House questions while switching between eyeing the red roses, eyeing the chocolates, and eyeing Wilson’s face.

“No, I got flowers! And candy!” Wilson cheers while holding the bouquet close to his chest. “And they- they came with a note. No idea who they’re from, but they wrote that they’ve been in love with me for a while…”

“They? You aren’t sure whether or not it’s a chick?”

“Listen, I swing both ways,” Wilson points out, and though House already knows that, a reminder never hurts. Part of him hopes the flowers are from House, but logically, they can’t be- it’s so unlike the older man to leave such a heartfelt gift with such a sweet note. He thinks of Cuddy, Cameron, Chase, and Foreman- those are the only hospital employees with direct access to his office aside from him and House. So, unless someone broke into his office to do this, he has a small list of suspects. “And it could be anyone!”

“You really have no idea who it is?”

“Well, no,” Wilson answers and crosses his arms over his chest. His smile shrinks as he wonders if he’ll ever figure out who it is, or if it’ll ever happen again.

“Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

With that, Wilson walks off, somewhat disappointed that the presents don’t seem to be from House. Out of the corner of his eye, he happens to see Cameron, who he walks up to immediately. With House off the list, his only suspects left are Foreman, Cuddy, Chase, and Cameron herself.

“Oh, Dr. Wilson, what’s up?” The other brunette offers that close-eyed smile that she usually gives.

Wilson pauses and looks at Cameron for a little too long. He likes her, he’s always liked her- she's kind, intelligent, and beautiful. She’s graceful and smooth in a way that Wilson has never been able to perfect, and she’s incredibly optimistic compared to him. She’s always trying to help people, always trying her best at everything, always trying to take everything on her shoulders. She’s desperate to fix everything around her that’s broken, and in a sad sort of way, Wilson suspects that’s what keeps her going.

He likes Cameron. But he doesn’t love Cameron. Then again, if she were to confess to sending the gifts and ask him on a date… He’d at least try. If not to give Cameron a chance, then to make House feel the same way he felt when the older man went on that date with Cameron a while back.

“Hey, Cameron,” Wilson greets and holds the flowers and the chocolates up, trying to seem nonchalant. “I just, uh, I found these in my office and I was wondering if you had any idea who they’re from? The diagnostics team and Cuddy are the only ones with keys to get in there, and I’d love to thank whoever it is, but they didn’t leave a name.”

“Huh… That’s interesting. I have no idea. Could be one of the janitors- don’t they have keys, too?”

“Oh, right… I guess that’s true,” Wilson frowns at the new list of suspects, though there’s only two janitors who are regularly on the same floor as his office- one who’s a much, much older woman and the other who’s a happily married middle aged man. Cameron seems relaxed yet just as confused as Wilson is, so he assumes it isn’t her and decides it’s time to get to work. “Let me know if you see or hear anything, alright?”

“Sure thing, Dr. Wilson.”

Heading back to his office, Wilson shakes his head and shoots House a text asking him to tag along to the apartment to grab a flower vase on their lunch break. He realizes he can figure out who his secret admirer is when he’s not at work.

Despite his concerns that this new mystery may be consuming his work life, Wilson can’t help but go digging when, the very next day, he walks into his office to find an expensive looking watch and an emerald green tie- both brand new and in box- on his desk. He realizes that this is much more serious than he initially thought, as after looking up the cost of both combined, he sees that it’s more than his entire last paycheck. If not for the way he so desperately craves attention and affection, Wilson would be uncomfortable with the intense gesture.

With the tie around his neck and the watch on his wrist, the brunette goes to the cafeteria, where he knows he’ll find Chase and Foreman eating lunch together. Cameron is busy with a patient, while House is- based on the stethoscope hung on the door and the blinds blocking the view through the windows- watching porn on his work computer. He gets a simple lunch, a caesar salad with Italian dressing and no cheese. He’s not really hungry, but he feels weird being in the cafeteria without any food or even a drink, especially standing in the middle of the sea of booths and tables, clearly looking...

Low and behold, the neurologist and the intensivist are sitting across from each other at a two person table. Chase has a bright smile on his face as he excitedly rants about something, while Foreman listens and watches the blond with reserved intrigue. Wilson takes a deep breath before approaching.

“Hey, Chase, Foreman,” Wilson addresses the two men with a stiff smile and pulls up a third chair to the table to sit down.

“Oh, hey. It’s unusual not seeing you with House at this time of day,” Chase mutters while picking at the large brownie in front of him with a knife and fork. It’s a typical lunch for the man with a seemingly infinite metabolism and enough youth to keep from having his unhealthy habits result in any negative consequences. “Can I help you?”

“I’ve received some anonymous gifts in my office over the past couple days and I was wondering if you knew anything about them,” Wilson clarifies. He adjusts his watch, then pulls at the tie on his neck to tighten it a bit. “I asked Cameron already and she said she had no idea about it.”

“Hm, no idea,” Foreman answers. He raises a hand up to his chin as he sits there in thought, the hamburger and french fries in front of him momentarily abandoned in favor of Wilson’s mystery. “That’s weird. You don’t leave your door unlocked, do you?”

“Of course not!”

“Do you think you have a stalker?” Chase proposes and takes a drink of his chocolate milk. “Could ask Cuddy to check the hospital security cameras. Surely you’ll find your culprit there.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say a stalker… It seems like they have genuine feelings for me based on this note they left with the first gift,” Wilson’s words make both Chase and Foreman stare at him like he’s grown another head, so he stares down into his lap with reddened cheeks and ears. “It’s almost like we know each other.”

“That’s what they all say,” Foreman scoffs. His tone is scolding yet cynical- something that briefly reminds him of House, though he’d never say that out loud. “Then they end up on the news, murdered by some obsessive psycho. You’ve really gotta be more cautious about this sort of thing, Wilson- you’re too nice for your own good.”

Wilson thinks about Foreman. They would definitely make an odd match, but Wilson doesn’t think that a relationship between them would be too bad. Foreman is a lot like House- same sarcastic, dry humor- same intelligence- same weird, hidden compassion for other human beings that neither of them like to admit they have. The only difference is that Foreman is much more soft, much more subtle, and much more kind. He’s gorgeous, too, but he’s also direct enough to just approach someone he likes instead of going the route of anonymous- bordering creepy- gifts.

WIlson then thinks about Chase. Honestly, he probably wouldn’t go on a date with Chase- it’s clear that he’s smitten with both Cameron and Foreman, and while he’s intelligent, he’s very youthful and naive about himself and life in a way that the others aren’t. Then again, he doesn’t suspect Chase. At least, not really. The only reason Chase was on the list of suspects in the first place was because he has access to Wilsn’s office like the rest of the team.

“Yeah, I’m inclined to agree, but,” Chase pauses and runs a hand through his hair. “Why not ask House? He knows everything about everyone. I think he’ll have answers for you.”

“You’re right,” Wilson says, standing up. “I’ll go talk to him.”

Then, he’s walking to House’s office, his salad left forgotten and desolate on the table between Chase and Foreman. Eventually, he reaches House’s office and stares at the door. The blinds are still down, but the stethoscope is gone, so he assumes it’s safe to go in. He opens the door and looks at the diagnostician, who is passed out on his desk.

At first, Wilson debates whether or not he should pursue this, but then he remembers all the times House has woken him up for dumb shit since he’s moved in. He figures it won’t hurt and shuts the door behind him before approaching the older man and waking him up by gently shaking one of his shoulders.

“Huh?” House awakes, a groggy mess. He sits up and rubs the sleep out of his eyes while shooting Wilson the cutest glare. “The hell are you doing here? ‘m clearly trying to nap.”

“House, do you know something about the gifts I’ve been getting?” Wilson speaks and makes himself comfortable, sitting on the edge of House’s desk.

“You really woke me up for this? Ugh,” House groans. A second later, a light thud comes from the impact of his forehead against the desk he’s sat at. “Why would you assume that I know anything about this? We talked about it yesterday when it first happened and I didn’t know anything then.”

“I’ve been asking around and Chase suggested talking to you. I mean, you do know a lot about everyone in the hospital, even if you act like you don’t care,” Wilson points out.

House, in a rare display of concern, sits all the way up and looks at Wilson with worried blue eyes.

“Is it making you anxious?”

“Anxious? Oh, God, no,” Wilson laughs and runs a hand through his hair. He’s afraid that House will judge him for this- for his excitement, for his desperation, for his loneliness- but he continues regardless. “Honestly, I’m flattered. This is the most attention I’ve gotten in a long time, and I’ve gotten more presents in the last two days than I have in all three of my marriages combined. I just… I’m excited, and I really want to know who it is. If I can’t figure out who it is by tomorrow night, I’m going to go to Cuddy and ask her to check the hospital’s security cameras; pass it off as concern for my safety.”

“That’s a terrible idea,” House scoffs.

“You really think so?”

“Well, yeah, they’re probably remaining anonymous for a reason,” House raises a good argument, which makes Wilson stop. He hadn’t even thought about that, just assuming that whoever it is happens to be shy or afraid of him not reciprocating, but maybe they’re already in a committed relationship, maybe they’re not ready for a relationship. Hell, maybe it’s some sort of prank from House or someone else he works with. “And there’s the risk of them getting in trouble for getting into your office to do something so… Unprofessional.”

“I didn’t think about it like that,” Wilson murmurs and looks at the clock on the wall, which shows that his lunch break is almost over. “Guess you��re right. Thanks for the advice, House, I’ll see you later.”

~~~

At the end of his shift the following evening, Wilson finds himself sitting in the office of Lisa Cuddy. It’s the third day that he’s received presents on his desk without knowing who they’re from. Today, it was a new book he’s been wanting, some hard candies, a pen set, and a rose-scented candle.

“I’m at a loss. It’s been three days worth of these gifts and I have no idea who they’re from. I mean, seriously, I thought I was smarter than this,” He vents to the older woman, who he considers his closest friend aside from House.

The two are in her office, Lisa in her chair and Wilson on the edge of her desk. The box of chocolates he was given on the first day sat between them, mostly devoured. They’re House’s favorite brand of truffles, which has Wilson smiling at the thought. He eats the cherry ones between speaking because he knows they’re House’s favorite.

“You can’t blame yourself,” Lisa scolds him and stares at the ceiling. At this point, gossip has gotten around about the mysterious gifts. Some people suspect a young nurse that has a crush on him, some people suspect Cuddy, some people suspect Cameron, and even a couple people suspect House. Wilson has no idea at this point- all he can do is hope that it’s House. “It’s not your fault.”

“I know, I’m just frustrated. My soulmate could be waiting somewhere in this hospital for me and I can’t even figure out who they are! God, I feel like such an idiot.”

“Have you looked for any hidden messages in the gifts?”

“Hidden messages?” Wilson scratches his head. All of the gifts seemed pretty normal. Though there was the note with the first one, it wasn’t anything that struck him as particularly odd. . “I mean, the first one came with a letter, but it looked totally normal and… The gifts weren’t anything too terribly weird? Flowers, a watch, chocolates, this new book I’ve been wanting, hard candies, a nice pen set, a new tie- it was green, by the way, which is my favorite color.”

Wilson looks at Cuddy. He doubts it’s her, she’s woman enough to just tell him she wants a date if she wants a date, and she’s way out of his league physically, mentally, and emotionally. Really, she’s perfect. In theory, if it were her, Wilson wouldn’t mind, but he couldn’t imagine it going well; House would ruin it out of jealousy, though whether the diagnostician would be jealous of him or of Cuddy would be a complete and utter mystery.

“They probably know you if that and the book are anything to go off of,” The dean observes and pops a caramel truffle into her mouth.

Wilson stops and thinks about all of the gifts.

The roses and the chocolates, which happen to be House’s favorite brand.

The watch, given to him after he’d talked about needing a new one to House in passing just a couple weeks ago.

The book, bought for him after he raved about it being published by his favorite author with House in the room.

A nice pen set after his last good pen got stolen by one of the nurses.

Hard candies- vanilla, which are also House’s favorite.

The green tie just months after House accused him of dressing nice for someone just for wearing it.

And, finally, a rose-scented candle, which is the proverbial nail in the coffin.

“Wait,” Wilson stands up with a smile breaking across his face. “The last gift; it was a candle!”

“A candle,” Cuddy repeats and stares at the oncologist, her brows furrowing together.

“I didn’t even think about it at the time; hell, I should’ve known!” He practically yells and starts to excitedly pace around the room as memories come back to him. “The night after we met, when he bailed me out and had me stay in his hotel room for the rest of that medical convention, we ate at a restaurant with the exact same brand and scent of candle and a vase of red roses at the table; we try to go back to New Orleans to eat there at least once a year!”

“So-”

“I have to go!” Wilson rushes to grab his things and leave his friend’s office, her voice calling out behind him-

“Thanks for the chocolates, Dr. Wilson!”

~~~~

By the time Wilson gets home, he’s conjured up three theories of why House has left nice, romantic gifts in his office for the past three days.

House is in love with him and has been for a very long time, but he doesn’t know how to express himself, so he’s resorted to this to get it out of his system before it boils over.

House, in a rare display of compassion, decided to make Wilson feel better about his series of failed relationships and failed dates by leaving these gifts and pretending that they’re from some secret admirer he’s made up to satisfy Wilson’s need to feel wanted.

House is pranking him.

Honestly, Wilson is inclined to go with number three on the list first. It’s a classic House prank- mean and fucked up and not funny at all, and it makes him want to file the older man’s cane down all over again. He finds himself storming into the apartment with his entire face red and his body hot with frustration. House is sat on the couch in a t-shirt and sweats, looking as beautiful as ever while watching a soap opera, which just pisses the oncologist off even more.

“It’s you!” Wilson shouts, standing between House and the television, pointing an accusatory finger at the older man.

“Hm?” House tilts his head and scoots over on the couch in an attempt to see past the brunette. Once he realizes that he’s not going to be able to watch the show in peace, he sighs and turns the television off. “What’s got you so worked up today? Another failed date?”

“It’s been you this entire time!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” House plays stupid, because of course he does.

“You really think I wouldn’t remember the first night we met?” Wilson asks, his voice shaky and barely above a whisper. “That night means everything to me, you idiot! I remember every second of it- including the candle, the flowers… Hell, I even remember your favorite chocolates and hard candies! I remember everything there is to know about you!”

“You do?”

“Of course I do!” Wilson shouts and starts pacing, holding his head in his hands and staring at the ground. He can’t so much as look at House right now. “I can’t believe you- I was over here thinking I had a- a secret admirer, and you just let me! We go back to that restaurant at least once a year, how did I not know? The green tie after you commented on that other one, the roses, your favorite kind of chocolate, those vanilla hard candies that you like; God, I’m such an idiot!”

“Are you that bothered by it?” House stands from the couch and walks up to Wilson, lightly whacking him in the knee with his cane- a playful gesture that House has developed over the years, meant to measure just how mad Wilson is; when it’s bad, he bitches at House for it and walks away, and when it’s not that bad, he doesn’t react.

“Seriously? I’ve been lonely for months,” Wilson complains. His eyes meet House’s icy blue ones, and suddenly, he’s reminded of the fact that the older man is taller than him as he’s suddenly backed into a wall. Even with his leg being in constant pain, House still manages to tower over him with relative ease. “Haven’t been intimate with anyone for over a year, and you have the audacity to ask me if I’m bothered by it?”

“Are you?”

“Yes! I was excited about the prospect of someone decent actually liking me for once, okay!?”

“Well, damn, Wilson- you oughta know that I didn’t just do it for the sake of some sort of prank!”

Wilson freezes. House is in his face, breath reeking of cinnamon mints and Vicodin. Their eyes are locked. Warm, chocolate brown melts icy blue until House is looking down at Wilson’s lips with a heavy blush dusting his high cheekbones. Wilson can’t help how his expression turns to a pout, his brows furrowing. With House’s sudden exclamation, he starts to put together the pieces. This isn’t- it wasn’t… It’s not a joke. The gifts were genuine, but why? Pity? Love?

Whatever the reason, Wilson needs to hear it.

“Then why?” He demands.

“You seemed lonely, and I…” House hesitates, rests his cane against the wall, and rings his hands together. “I wanted to make you feel better about yourself and your situation.”

“So, what? You faked me all these romantic gifts that you didn’t even really mean for the sake of making me feel better?”

“Who said I didn’t mean it?”

Tension starts to build between the two. Wilson feels his impatience start to get the better of him, even more so when two calloused hands are resting on his shoulders and squeezing. It’s reassuring, but it’s nerve wracking, and it makes a nervous sweat start to gather at his hairline and at the back of his neck.

“Did you? Do you? Because I don’t think you understand the severity of just what you’re insinuating, House- hell, over a decade of friendship and-” Before he can finish his absolute reaming of House, the diagnostician is using his hold on Wilson’s shoulder to drag him in for a kiss. His eyes snap open to see that House’s are closed, and afraid that he’ll never get the opportunity to do this again, he kisses back. He kisses back hard, harder than House was initially, tasting cinnamon and mint and everything he’s fantasized about on his lonely nights spent crashing in House’s living room. Then, he processes just how ridiculous the situation is and pulls away, justifiably angry. “You just- you just kissed me!”

“Like I didn’t know that? No, you idiot, I thought I gave you a high five! Oh, did I kiss you? That was a total accident!” House sarcastically fumes and holds a hand over his chest.

Wilson mimics the action, only to stop seconds later so he can jab a finger right into the center of House’s narrow chest.

“You didn’t even ask- no wonder Cameron’s the only person that’s wanted to date you since disco died! You have no manners!”

“Oh, right, sorry,” House scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Can I kiss you?”

“I-” Wilson almost wants to say no- that’s what House should get after playing this game for three days straight- no, for playing this game for years on end. But he’s been waiting for this for too long and, so, he finds himself grabbing House by the collar and dragging him back in while whispering against his lips. “Yes, you idiot.”

He isn’t sure who closes the gap- maybe it’s him, maybe it’s House- but their lips are touching again. It’s slow, gentle, and tender, the exact opposite of everything that’s led up to this. When House pulls away and looks at him with a confused expression, Wilson finds himself flustered.

“So, uh… You return the feelings, or…?”

“God, yes,” Wilson nods, wraps his arms around House before he can stop himself, and buries his face in the older man’s shoulder. House pauses like he’s unsure what to do, but after a few awkward moments, he manages to settle into the touch and hug Wilson back. “I’m so relieved it’s you and not, like, Chase or something.”

“You really had no idea?” House snarks and pulls back just far enough to give Wilson a teasing smirk. “You’re an idiot.”

“Well,” Wilson smiles back. “You’ll be happy to hear that I’m your idiot now.”

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