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sunshowerwriting · 10 months

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Pact Marks

(Obey Me!) Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor x Gender Neutral Reader (Separate)

2.4 k Words

Where the pack marks are and how the brothers react to seeing them.

I am very behind in obey me and i still dont know if im gonna get back into the game but i <3 the boys so even if im way behind im gonna keep writing for them. also i know this has been done a million times but i wanted to write one too so :3

Lucifer;

His pact mark showed up right below your collarbone on the right side of your body. It was in a private enough place that it wasn’t noticeable 90% of the time, but if you ever wore anything low cut or were ever shirtless then there was no way of hiding it.

He had no intention of seeing it at first. He felt no need, it was just a silly pack mark there was no need for him to search it out. And he certainly didn't think he'd feel as drawn to it as he did when he finally saw it.

When he did finally see it he was enthralled. He was so mesmerized by the little symbol that he had to stop you from doing whatever you were doing so he could just stare at it. (And maybe touch it if you would let him.)

It was a hot day in the devildom. Hotter than it had been in a very long time and there was no way you were going to let yourself get heat stroke while you were here. So you chose to wear a tanktop that had as little fabric on your body as possible. You hadn't even thought that your pack marks would be on display; you simply wanted some relief from the sweltering heat. However, your housemates did not let you by that easily. Or specifically one house mate, one that you least expect.

You were just leaving your room for something to drink but before you could get the sweet liquid your body desired Lucifer stopped you.

“Y/n, face me.”

You knew better than to decline a request like that so you turned around hoping to get whatever this was finished with as soon as possible. But what you weren’t prepared for was Lucifer just staring at you.

It made you a little self-conscious at first. But the self-conscious feeling quickly turns into amusement when you realize what he was staring at.

“Your pact mark.” You said teasingly.

His eyes didn't move from your chest. So you offered your next question with caution.

“Do you wanna touch it?”

Mammon;

His pact mark showed up on your left side right on your ribs. There was no way anyone was seeing this unless they caught you changing or you offered to show it to them. Which was bad for Mammon.

He wanted to know where it was immediately. But he wasn’t just gonna admit that to you. So he took it upon himself to pay extra close attention to any bit of exposed skin you had. Every time your shirt rode up or you took off your shoes he was examining your exposed skin with a magnifying glass.

When he finally gave in and asked you (albeit in a very roundabout way) to show him you were more than happy to do so. He was a little thrown off at you showing so much skin to him but after the shock he was really surprised by the pack mark. It's almost like he didn’t believe that it was his pack mark.

“Sure I’ll show you.” Your words were nonchalant if not a little amused at Mammon's question.

You immediately moved to lift your shirt. It may have been better if you had just taken it off but either way lifting it certainly did the job. And there on full display was Mammons pact mark. Mammon had averted his eyes briefly when you started lifting your shirt but when you made an impatient noise he looked back at you reluctantly.

His eyes immediately met with his pact mark sitting on your ribcage. The little symbol fit perfectly there and he seemed to be in a state of disbelief. His eyes were wider than normal and his jaw hung slack.

“Why are you making that face?”

Your words shook him out of his little trance and his eyes shot up to your face.

“I’m not makin a face!” He said, placing his hands on his hips.

You rolled your eyes at him but didn't say anything else on the matter. His eyes went back to the pack mark while you slowly put your shirt back down, covering the little mark.

Mammon would definitely need to see that again at a later date.

Leviathan;

His mark showed up on the outside of your right thigh. It was an odd place in your opinion, but the more you thought about it the more you realized just how perfect it was for the avatar of envy.

Levi hadn’t thought about it initially. In his mind he knew you had a pack mark now but it hadn't crossed his mind that you'd ever want to show it to him. But as time went on he did get a little curious. Not enough to ask you about it but enough to start theorizing about where it might be.

Eventually you brought it up. Asked if he wanted to see it and with some coaxing you convinced him to let you show it to him. He was… embarrassed to say the least.

When you started unbuttoning your pants Levi started to freak out. You assumed this would happen so you tried not to pay it too much attention. Simply muttering a “calm down” and continuing your action of trying to show him the mark. Once you had pulled your pants down and turned your body to show the little mark Levi had taken it upon himself to cover his eyes with his hands.

“Levi come on, You're not gonna see anything.”

He mumbled something incoherent but with a bit more prying you got him to look at you. And as soon as his eyes made contact with his pact mark his face went a whole new shade of red.

“It's there!” He practically shouted while trying to avert his eyes again.

But now that he knew where the mark was he was having trouble keeping his eyes off of it. That seemed to be the way it was with most of the brothers and their pack marks, it was like they were drawn to them. Levi was certainly trying to fight that feeling however.

You laughed at the demon, and started to reach to put your pants back on. You thought you were sparing him the embarrassment or at least some of it but much to your surprise Levi stopped you before you could cover up again.

“Wait! Can you… can you let me look at it a little longer?”

Satan;

Satan's mark appeared on the inside of your wrist on your dominant hand. It was one of the most obvious places any of your pack marks had been thus far and truthfully that shouldn’t come as much of a shock.

He saw it right away. He tried to play it cool. He wasn't even that attached to you so why would he go crazy over a little pack mark. But if you paid close enough attention to him his eyes would linger on your wrist every chance he would get.

But when he actually gave in and took a moment to REALLY look at it he didn't even bother asking.

You found yourself situated comfortably in the library. Cozied up reading and enjoying your moment of peace. You were bound to get interrupted eventually but who interrupted you came as a bit of a shock.

“Y/n.”

Satan came to sit next to you on the sofa with the simple greeting and you put down what you were reading for a moment to see what he was going to do. He glanced at you for a moment before gesturing to a table on the other side of you.

“Would you hand me that book?” He asked.

You did as you were asked and handed him the little book that was sitting on the other side of you. When turning to hand it to him though you were stopped in your tracks when he grabbed your wrist and not the book.

“What are you—“

Your words died in your throat when you realized what he was doing. Satan's eyes were boring holes into your wrist, right where your pact mark was placed. His eyes tracing every curve and line of the mark.

You were content to let him do whatever he wanted so you both sat quietly for some time as he looked at the mark that bound you together.

Asmodeus;

His was below your belly button. It was fitting and when you realized where it was you knew there was no way you'd let him see it right away. Perhaps you wanted to tease him or maybe you just didn't feel comfortable enough yet. But no matter how fitting the placement was, you weren't showing him right away.

Asmo begged to see it. He had so many ideas of where it could be, and considering he couldn’t find it on any of your exposed skin, his ideas were getting worse and worse as time went on.

You eventually gave in and let him see it and he was in love immediately. He would not stop looking at it and cooing over how good it looked on you.

“Alright, fine!”

You were more than a little frustrated at Asmo’s constant begging but at this point you didn’t actually mind showing him the pack mark that much. So you might as well show him now and get it over with.

Asmo was very excited. You could tell just by looking at him that he was bubbling with anticipation and excitement. His eyes did not stop looking over you for even a second while you prepared yourself to show him the pack mark.

With a quick motion you lifted your shirt and adjusted your pants to expose the little mark. Asmos eyes widened way before he could even see the mark but when his eyes finally landed on it he let out a gasp. He was enamored by the little mark and he reached out to place his hands on your sides. It was as if he was making sure you weren't going to go anywhere.

“How has it taken you so long to show me this?” He whined.

You shook your head at him but said nothing. Deciding to let him marvel at the little mark for however long he’d behave.

Beelzebub;

His mark appeared on your left shoulder. You actually couldn’t find it at first. Like you knew one had appeal but you could not figure out where it was, but eventually you did catch sight of it. It was in a place that someone else could maybe see depending on what you were wearing but you yourself weren’t able to get a great look at it most of the time.

Beel hadn’t thought about it much. He kinda forgot you even had a pack mark for a while but even when the thought crossed his mind he didn't have the biggest urge to see it either.

He did see it eventually though. You didn't make a point to show him but you just so happened to be wearing something that shows off your shoulders and there it was. Beel was very nonchalant about it.

You had been looking for Beel for a while. You had to give him something from Lucifer and you were looking to get the errandend over quickly so you could go back to whatever it was you actually had planned for the day. And luckily for you you finally found Beel eating a snack in one of the sitting rooms.

“Beel, I have something for you.” You said striding over to where he sat.

He freed his hands momentarily to take whatever it was you were giving him but he didn’t look too thrilled with it.

“It’s from Lucifer… Obviously.”

You laughed as Beel’s face scrunched up at your words but you paid it no mind as you turned around and began walking out of the room. As your back was turned to him you weren't able to catch the face he made when his eyes came in contact with your pack mark. His eyes went wide for a moment and he tried to map out the mark before you really left the room.

He didn’t say anything, just quietly let you go as he stared a hole into your shoulder. He had never had any interest in seeing the little mark before. But now, well maybe he would ask to see the mark again some time in the future.

Belphegor;

His mark appeared on the top of your right foot. It wasn't center to your foot though, it was slightly to the outside of your body. You found it pretty quickly as you do have to take off your shoes and socks pretty regularly, but the mark wasn't so out there that someone would see it every day.

Belphie was curious and he asked you almost immediately where it was and if he could see it. He had no shame in the question and if you really didn’t want to show him you could always say no.

He was quite intrigued by it when he saw it. There was no way he was going to be genuine about that though. So he resorted to staring at it and making a snarky comment.

“So can I see it?”

You shrugged at Belphie’s request to see the pack mark. You’ve gone through this before and at this point you really didn’t mind showing him. So you sat down and took off your shoe, revealing the little mark on the top of your foot. Belphie looked at the mark with a strange look on his face, you almost wanted to ask what was up,but you kept the question to yourself as he continued to gaze at the mark.

“That's it?”

You rolled your eyes at him but he didn’t even look up so you assumed he didn’t even notice. You could tell he was actually quite interested in the mark and you know how he can be so you let him act that way. But if he wasn’t going to ask the question you assumed he wanted to then you would offer for him. You moved your foot closer to him which made him flinch and look up at you. You only gave him an exasperated look before gesturing to your foot with your hand and spoke.

“Go on, touch it.”

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wingedtyger · 10 months

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How to Buy a Computer for Cheaper

Buy refurbished. And I'm going to show you how, and, in general, how to buy a better computer than you currently have. I'm fairly tech-knowledgeable, but not an expert. But this is how I've bought my last three computers for personal use and business (graphics). I'm writing this for people who barely know computers. If you have a techie friend or family member, having them help can do a lot for the stress of buying a new computer.

There are three numbers you want to know from your current computer: hard drive size, RAM, and processor speed (slightly less important, unless you're doing gaming or 3d rendering or something else like that)

We're going to assume you use Windows, because if you use Apple I can't help, sorry.

First is hard drive. This is how much space you have to put files. This is in bytes. These days all hard drives are in gigabytes or terabytes (1000 gigabytes = 1 terabyte). To get your hard drive size, open Windows Explorer, go to This PC (or My Computer if you have a really old OS).

To get more details, you can right-click on the drive. and open Properties. But now you know your hard drive size, 237 GB in this case. (this is rather small, but that's okay for this laptop). If you're planning on storing a lot of videos, big photos, have a lot of applications, etc, you want MINIMUM 500 GB. You can always have external drives as well.

While you've got this open, right-click on This PC (or My Computer). This'll give you a lot of information that can be useful if you're trying to get tech support.

I've underlined in red the two key things. Processor: it can help to know the whole bit (or at least the Intel i# bit) just so you don't buy one that's a bunch older, but processor models are confusing and beyond me. The absolutely important bit is the speed, in gigahertz (GHz). Bigger is faster. The processor speed is how fast your computer can run. In this case the processor is 2.60 GHz, which is just fine for most things.

The other bit is RAM. This is "random-access memory" aka memory, which is easy to confuse for, like how much space you have. No. RAM is basically how fast your computer can open stuff. This laptop has 16 GB RAM. Make sure you note that this is the RAM, because it and the hard drive use the same units.

If you're mostly writing, use spreadsheets, watching streaming, or doing light graphics work 16 GB is fine. If you have a lot of things open at a time or gaming or doing 3d modeling or digital art, get at least 32 GB or it's gonna lag a lot.

In general, if you find your current laptop slow, you want a new one with more RAM and a processor that's at least slightly faster. If you're getting a new computer to use new software, look at the system requirements and exceed them.

I'll show you an example of that. Let's say I wanted to start doing digital art on this computer, using ClipStudio Paint. Generally the easiest way to find the requirements is to search for 'program name system' in your search engine of choice. You can click around their website if you want, but just searching is a lot faster.

That gives me this page

(Clip Studio does not have very heavy requirements).

Under Computer Specs it tells you the processor types and your RAM requirements. You're basically going to be good for the processor, no matter what. That 2 GB minimum of memory is, again, the RAM.

Storage space is how much space on your hard drive it needs.

Actually for comparison, let's look at the current Photoshop requirements.

Photoshop wants LOTS of speed and space, greedy bastard that it is. (The Graphics card bit is somewhat beyond my expertise, sorry)

But now you have your three numbers: hard drive space, RAM (memory) and processor (CPU). Now we're going to find a computer that's better and cheaper than buying new!

We're going to buy ~refurbished~

A refurbished computer is one that was used and then returned and fixed up to sell again. It may have wear on the keyboard or case, but everything inside (aside from the battery) should be like new. (The battery may hold less charge.) A good dealer will note condition. And refurbished means any flaws in the hardware will be fixed. They have gone through individual quality control that new products don't usually.

I've bought four computers refurbished and only had one dud (Windows kept crashing during set-up). The dud has been returned and we're waiting for the new one.

You can buy refurbished computers from the manufacturers (Lenovo, Dell, Apple, etc) or from online computer stores (Best Buy and my favorite Newegg). You want to buy from a reputable store because they'll have warranties offered and a good return policy.

I'm going to show you how to find a refurbished computer on Newegg.

You're going to go to Newegg.com, you're gonna go to computer systems in their menu, and you're gonna find refurbished

Then, down the side there's a ton of checkboxes where you can select your specifications. If there's a brand you prefer, select that (I like Lenovos A LOT - they last a long time and have very few problems, in my experience. Yes, this is a recommendation).

Put in your memory (RAM), put in your hard drive, put in your CPU speed (processor), and any other preferences like monitor size or which version of Windows you want (I don't want Windows 11 any time soon). I generally just do RAM and hard drive and manually check the CPU, but that's a personal preference. Then hit apply and it'll filter down.

I'm going to say right now, if you are getting a laptop and you can afford to get a SSD, do it. SSD is a solid-state drive, vs a normal hard drive (HDD, hard disk-drive). They're less prone to breaking down and they're faster. But they're also more expensive.

Anyway, we have our filtered list of possible laptops. Now what?

Well, now comes the annoying part. Every model of computer can be different - it can have a better or worse display, it can have a crappy keyboard, or whatever. So you find a computer that looks okay, and you then look for reviews.

Here's our first row of results

Let's take a look at the Lenovo, because I like Lenovos and I loathe Dells (they're... fine...). That Thinkpad T460S is the part to Google (search for 'Lenovo Thinkpad T460s reviews'). Good websites that I trust include PCMag, LaptopMag.com, and Notebookcheck.com (which is VERY techie about displays). But every reviewer will probably be getting one with different specs than the thing you're looking at.

Here are key things that will be the same across all of them: keyboard (is it comfortable, etc), battery life, how good is the trackpad/nub mouse (nub mice are immensely superior to trackpads imho), weight, how many and what kind of ports does it have (for USB, an external monitor, etc). Monitors can vary depending on the specs, so you'll have to compare those. Mostly you're making sure it doesn't completely suck.

Let's go back to Newegg and look at the specs of that Lenovo. Newegg makes it easy, with tabs for whatever the seller wants to say, the specs, reviews, and Q&A (which is usually empty).

This is the start of the specs. This is actually a lesser model than the laptop we were getting the specs for. It's okay. What I don't like is that the seller gives very little other info, for example on condition. Here's a Dell with much better information - condition and warranty info.

One thing you'll want to do on Newegg is check the seller's reviews. Like on eBay or Etsy, you have to use some judgement. If you worry about that, going to the manufacturer's online outlet in a safer bet, but you won't quite get as good of deals. But they're still pretty damn good as this random computer on Lenovo's outlet shows.

Okay, so I think I've covered everything. I do recommend having a techie friend either help or double check things if you're not especially techie. But this can save you hundreds of dollars or allow you to get a better computer than you were thinking.

#computers #buying computers #laptops

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pixiesfz · 13 days

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spiked arsenal fc x r

plot: you get invited to a party from a girl at your school and things don’t turn out the best

warnings: readers drink gets spiked, weird Pervy boys, sexual asault

Being a professional athlete at a young age had its perks but it also had its very bad drawbacks, privacy being one of them.

A 17-year-old Australian girl moving to London to play for North London's red team Arsenal, will she crack under pressure?

Your every move was watched by the public, weather at training or joining Katie and Caitlin for a coffee in the morning.

Another one was schooling.

Whenever you weren't training you were finishing an essay or researching history to write an essay on.

And if you were caught not doing your homework by Leah or Steph they would threaten less minutes at Arsenal or the Matilda's.

Kim let you take an hour off sometimes, seeing the stress you were under

"you're not going to do your best work if you're exhausted" she always insisted before passing you a pillow and her keys to the physio room.

And the last one which was your least favourite one to admit was fomo.

You physically went to school sometimes to do half days or full days, and your classmates always whispered to each other when you walked in.

You had made some friends, some were definitely your 'friends' just to see if they could get a free ticket to the Emirates but you figured it was better than nothing.

"Hey" one of the girls greeted you on the way to English "Hi Lisa" you smiled, happy another girl your age was talking to you "So It may be a long shot but I am having my 17th birthday party and I was wondering if you would be able to come?" she asked and you smiled.

You had seen everyone go to parties before as you watched on Snapchat and Instagram, but you had never been.

You had been invited sure, but not from anybody you knew well enough, the others just wanted to be able to say 'y/n y/l/n went to my party!"

"I'll just have to ask my caregivers but it should be fine" you smiled "Good cause I hear Tommy G really wanted to talk to you but that boy always needs liquid encouragement"

You grimaced and the girl laughed "I know I would have the same reaction" You smiled "So I'll see you there?" she asked and you nodded making her squeal.

When going home to Caitlins that day you entered with a smile "What happened today chook?" she asked as she was sprawled on the couch, Katie next to her.

"Lisa invited me to her birthday party!"

Katie cheered from her spot but Caitlin persed her lips

"Caitlin please, there's no training the day after and it's not on a game night, please I never get to go to parties, I'm the only girl in my year level-"

"Gosh shut up!" Caitlin scoffed "I was going to ask what you were planning to wear!"

You smiled "So I can go?"

Caitlin smiled, your happiness contagious to the two of them "of course, just don't drink you're still a minor and that can be bad for your image"

You nodded, the thought already crossed your mind in fifth period "I promise"

Katie's smile dropped "We will have to tell the captains"

"I already told Kim" you smiled remembering the call with your captain as you walked home "and she's the real captain of Arsenal and we're not on international duties, also please never tell Leah I called her not the real captain"

Your excitement was built up as your words were quick, Ella who had come out from her room laughing as you talked.

"You can borrow some of my clothes"

"No!" Katie was quick to say.

You had finished training and went home with Caitlin and Katie to have an 'everything shower before allowing Ella to curl your hair. You didn't have much party clothing so the day before you and Ella went shopping and bought jeans and a nice top.

"You look so pretty" Ella smiled as she finished your mascara "Lauren would never let me do her make-up and hair" she gushed "and Katie never did it for me so this is cute" she laughed as Katie scoffed from the bed her and Caitlin were laying down on, getting ready for your reveal

"Not our faults we were never into that at the time!" , "How much longer the party started half an hour ago!" Caitlin added before you walked out, a proud Ella behind you.

"Well don't you look like a princess!"

"Katie!"

"I'm messing with ya, you look good baby Australia" she smiled and Cailin grabbed Lisa's present "I feel like a proud mum" she cheered "now let's go".

When you arrived at the party all the goers cheered at your appearance and a very drunk Lisa came to your side "' I'm so soooo happy you made it" she smiled, squeezing you tight as you awkwardly handed her the bag "Happy birthday" you told her and she gasped loudly, hugging you again.

She left to put it in her room, leaving you with some other of your classmates as they offered you a drink "No I'm okay is there water offered anyway, or sprite?" you asked and Tommy G stood up "I saw sprite in the back" he said before disappearing "thanks" you called out to him.

"He found out you didn't want to talk to him so he's probably just trying to get away from you" Holly, one of the girls said and you nodded "I didn't mean to hurt his feelings I'm just not that interested"

She nodded "I get it, do you want a hit?" she asked and held out her vape which you crossed her head at "thanks for the offer but no thankyou" you smiled apologetically and the girl smirked "more for me then"

"Uh here you go" a voice piped behind you and you saw Tommy holding out your Sprite bottle, it was already opened but you didn't think too much of it, maybe he just wanted to open it for you.

"Thankyou Tommy" you smiled and went back to your conversation, not taking a sip just yet.

About an hour had gone by and you felt really, really shitty, your grip on the table tightening as you felt the need to lay down, a headache splitting your brain.

"I'm sorry" you apologised to whoever you were speaking to "I have to lay down" you said, stumbling away to the nearest bedroom, gaining the attention of the group of boys who were sat on the couch.

"Tommy boy you actually did it" "Well how else was I going to get her"

"You are the man, taking away Arsenal star girl's virginity!"

You assumed it was Lisa's parents room from the size of the bed but your head was spinning and your energy was plummeting, you felt vulnerable and your muscles were failing on you.

When you heard the door open you just merely mumbled "who's it?"

Why were you like this?

You didn't drink a sip of alcohol.

"Hey y/n it's Tommy"

"somethings wrong" you said, hopefully thinking he would get some help but instead he just closed the door. "Tommy help" you whimpered, your body feeling like a brick as you couldn't move "shhh" he shooshed you, climbing on top of you "It's all going to be fine".

Your eyes widened as he tried to kiss you "just kiss back it will be easier" he told you but you shook your head, tears running down your face.

"stop" you mumbled as his hands pulled down your top "you wanted this remember?"

no. no you didn't.

"stop"

"Tommy stop'

"Tommy please" you cried

His hands started to undo your belt before the door was open again and a now sobered up Lisa barged in.

"Get off of her you Freak!" she yelled, running up and practically throwing Tommy off of you and pulling up your shirt "/n" she sighed, freaking out from your state.

Another two sets of girls came in, gasping at the sight "he drugged her" Lisa told them as they stood still, Tommy in fear as he looked around "Get him out!" she yelled and the two girls ran in and grabbed him.

"hey look she wanted it-"

And he was gone.

But his presence still lingered to you as you flinched when Lisa grabbed your wrist "Y/n I'm calling the ambulance okay?" she told you and you nodded.

You felt numb, you couldn't do anything.

It wasn't long after that you blacked out.

You woke up when the ambulance came to a stop, your body being able to move now slightly as you were able to balance on your elbows.

They carried your cart inside, going past a worried Caitlin and Katie who were called five minutes ago as they ran behind the cart and a blonde girl who was running out soon after "Who are you?" Katie asked "I'm Lisa"

"What happened?" Caitlin asked, on the phone with Steph who was driving over with Kyra, Leah and Kim.

Lisa's eye started to water "I should've- he- he- he spiked her drink!" she let out and both the Arsenal players stopped in their track.

You were able to move but you stayed still, you could feel his hands on you even if Lisa had promised you in the ambulance that the girls called the police.

You still didn't move when the doctors shoved needles into you, getting rid of the drug residue that was in you.

Ella, who was behind Katie and Caitlin ran after the doctors after hearing Lisa, knowing the news from classmates will be on the news tomorrow.

You turned your head towards the blonde with tears in your eyes "why me?" you asked and the girl grabbed your hand "Why?" you said again, not expecting an answer from the girl before Caitlin and Katie walked in with a tear stained Lisa.

"Just try and go to sleep y/n/n".

Your body was exhausted when you woke up in the morning, the room was full, full of your Arsenal and international teammates who had heard, it bran tears to your eyes as you realised what had happened, turning to Caitlin who was holding your hand

"No privacy?" you asked and the girl nodded her head "I'm sorry chicky"

You nodded, tears rolling down your cheeks as you looked at all the powereful women in the room.

If there was anyone you needed to get through the next couple of weeks, it was these women here.

#woso #woso soccer #woso community #woso x reader #matildas #caitlin foord #katie mccabe #sam kerr #alanna kennedy #arsenal wfc x reader #arsenal wfc #arsenal women #arsenal

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nanowrimo · 7 months

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5 Tips to Avoid Burnout as a Neurodivergent Writer

When taking on a project as big as writing a novel, you may run into the risk of burnout. NaNo Participant Joana Hill gives some tips on avoiding burnout as a neurodivergent writer.

Burnout. As writers, we all know it. For neurodivergent writers, burnout can be even more damaging than usual. We can be much more sensitive, both mentally and emotionally, than our neurotypical friends and family.

This means avoiding burnout, and taking care of it when it does happen, can be even more important for us. I’m here today to provide some tips for my fellow neurodivergent writers to tackle just that.

1. Write What Interests You

Write what interests you rather than what you think you ‘should’ be writing. Many of us get caught-up in pleasing others. For neurodivergent people who’ve spent much of their life masking, or hiding their true personality and needs because of fear of rejection, it can be a hard habit to break.

If you want to write a 50k slow burn coffee shop AU of your favorite fandom, an epic space opera starring ants, or a main character with ADHD, autism, dyslexia, or any other disorder or condition you have, go for it.

2. Get A Support Network

For neurodivergent people, we’ve often lived our lives with special interests no one wants to hear us talk about. It often results in us not talking about them at all before someone can tell us they don’t want to hear about it.

Whether it’s offline with friends and family, or online here at NaNoWriMo or other sites, having people who are actively interested in listening to you and helping you plot and write can be a game-changer.

3. Celebrate As Many Victories As You Want

Many years, my personal goal is that I can get the new Pokemon game, which always comes out around the middle of November now, once I hit 50k. But you don’t need just one grand goal.

Get a bag of your favorite candy and say you can have a piece every so many words. Find something on Amazon you want (and can afford to get!) and say you’ll get it once you hit the halfway point. Whatever motivates you to keep going, set it into motion.

4. Plan For Flexibility

That may sound like an oxymoron, but hear me out. Neurodivergent people often love to have a plan. I know I can get frustrated and upset when I’m expecting something to happen and something different does. For a big goal like writing a novel in a month, a lot of things can end up going wrong.

Carry a notebook and pen or tablet with a keyboard case in case an errand takes longer than expected. Back your writing up to several places in case your main writing device crashes. Make sure at least one of those is a cloud service in case you end up writing on a device that isn’t yours. The more contingency plans you have, the better prepared you are when life happens.

5. Be Kind To Yourself

Some days you may not get the minimum goal, or you might not write at all. You may feel like you just can’t do it because you’re behind on your word count, or you decide you don’t like what you’ve written.

I get it. But don’t beat yourself up about it. Take a break. Play your favorite game or read your favorite book. Go for a walk. And remember that you’re awesome. No one can write this story like you can.

Joana Hill is a writer of young adult stories, as well as novellas inspired by Japanese light novels and anime. You can find her books, social media, and anything else you could imagine wanting to know about her on her LinkTree. Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

#nanowrimo #writing #writing advice #self-care #neurodivergent writers #writer's life #by nano guest #joana hill

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sugairsstuff · 2 months

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Hii,

I have a request I love protective Rhys so can you do a Rhys x reader where someone insults her and Rhys gets all overprotective and angry, like how dare they insult my mate🤭

I hope you have a great day and thank u for writing it

Bye❤️

i’m sorry for taking so long to write this! i hope you enjoy my spin on the prompt <3

i’m flattered

rhysand x fem/reader

warnings: none

description: a noble has quite a lot to say regarding your appointment to high lady. as much as you’d like to do it yourself, your loving mate swoops in to put them in their place.

Coming to the Court of Nightmares to play pretend in these political dances veiled in the disguise of a party was never something you were excited about through all your immortal years of knowing Rhysand. So, naturally, you were feeling an extra weight of anxiety now that you would be attending as the High Lady of the Night Court—therefore a major piece in what was originally just Rhysand and the Court of Nightmare’s game of chess. You understood your mate morphed himself into an entirely different person as he believed that the one way to keep this imbalanced section of the Night Court under order was to keep them intimidated with the illusion of a cruel leader—for who would challenge someone who held no moral bounds?

While your mate had years—if not centuries—of practice in carefully carving this mask to wear at a ball that wasn’t even a masquerade, you had only been High Lady for two years. Before that, you kept your head low or simply did not attend the events held in this part of the court. It goes without saying that you were extremely prone to criticism, which was especially worrying in a place that was kept under control through the guise that they were not allowed to question their authority.

Alas, your lover insisted that it would be better for you to attend with him. Rhysand promised that you were safe there in his company (and that the food and drinks would be to your liking), while urging that it was better to show your face and prove that these Fae did not make you afraid than stay behind and let them mumble amongst themselves. Because, of course, this court was no longer run by only the High Lord, so now you needed to demand respect as well.

Standing in the mirror, you decide that at least it was somehow easing to be wearing such an elegant gown to the ball. With long sleeves and a deep plunge, your black dress hugs your curves and falls over your hips to the floor. You thought it was a nice touch that the ends of the long skirt are flecked in white that gave the illusion you had just waded through a pool of stars. Your hair is done up nicely as well to flaunt your neck and the silver jewels decorating it, the light piece of jewelry falling deep on your chest.

“I’m wondering if bringing you may be a mistake after all,” a familiar voice hums lovingly behind you. You whirl around from the mirror, brows furrowed as you watch your mate expectantly for an explanation.

Rhysand chuckles, raising his hands in a surrendering gesture as he pushes himself off of the doorframe he was leaning against, “You are one beautiful distraction, darling. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to stay focused on politics when I have the brightest star in Prythian right at my side. That’s all.”

You roll your eyes regardless of the fact you’re now sure you didn’t need to put blush on when doing your make up earlier. “Oh, yeah, cover it up, Mr. High Lord,” you huff in faux annoyance, though perhaps some real insecurity.

Rhysand was quick to notice that, and even quicker to invade your personal space by wrapping an arm around your waist and guiding you to his chest. “Don’t forget Mr. High Lord needs his Mrs. High Lady there,” he coos, grinning when his cheesy words evoke a sweet laugh from your lips.

You decide to change the topic rather than continue to brood over the inevitable reality of the ball you are about to be an unwanted spotlight in. “Is everyone else ready?” you ask, thinking of your friends who also are expected to be attending due to political reasons. Azriel, Cassian, and even Mor were always expected to at least show their faces.

Rhysand nods idly, clearly too distracted by you to shift his mind to be thinking about them. “They’re waiting, but I’m sure they won’t mind it if we’re a little late,” he says, grinning like a feline as he leans down over you to try and capture your lips with his. You evade Rhysand’s flirtatious attempts to seduce you by leaning back and resting your palm against his chest.

“Nuh-uh. No way am I being late to this thing,” though you pause and return his playful grin, “though if it goes well, maybe we can celebrate later. The zipper on this dress is pretty difficult to undo,” you hum.

“I’d be glad to lend a hand with that.” he winks, smiling like a fool as his boyish attitude earns yet another laugh from you.

Rhysand was a tempting sight to be seen, though. It appears as though he wanted to make you two look like dynastic royalty with the way you both are dressed, perhaps to look utterly untouchable to the rebellious crowd you are about to endure. His suit was pitch black, tailored perfectly to hug his V-shaped waist and embroidered with deep purple lacing at its hems. His sleek black hair is pushed back with what you assume is gel, though either by Rhysand’s doing or its own failure some of raven strands had fallen down over his forehead. You couldn’t help but make the allusion of you being the stars and him being the milky way.

“Alright, let’s go before you get too carried away,” you insist. And with that, Rhysand pulls you closer to him and winnows you to where your friends wait—some more impatiently, as Azriel stands with his arms crossed and an accusing expression at the two of you for being late.

By the time you arrive in the Court of Nightmares, you realize the party wasn’t starting without Rhysand and you. The throne room was done up extravagantly to meet the expectations of the High Fae citizens of Hewn City, the pure silver decorations a stark contrast to the deep, shiny ebony that the room was etched from.

Beautiful faces all around the room turn to watch you and your mate enter, their drinks idle in their hands and their conversations paused so that they can get a good look at the new High Lady. You swallow, keeping your chin up and moving on to the main floor alongside your mate. The back of Rhysand’s hand brushes yours, and when you turn to look up at him you see that he’s offering you his arm. You link your elbow with his, allowing him to lead you the rest of the way into the parted crowds.

When the pair of you begin to near the dais, you see only one throne sits at the centre of it. Rhysand seems to have this planned, though, as he gently guides you away and lets go of your elbow once you reach a small cluster of nobles. Of course, it all came down to symbolism and perception, because rulers who are supposed to be equals should have their own thrones to sit, and holding on to you when not walking would be seen as more controlling than chivalrous.

“High Lord, it’s been quite some time since you’ve visited,” one of the Fae spoke. Her features were sharp and dark, brought out by her even darker makeup. To your surprise, she turns to look at you, “And you’re not alone. You must be our new High Lady, I’ve never seen you at any of the parties here.” the nameless female hums, her gaze dragging down along you. You can see in her brown eyes she finds nothing to criticize as she releases a small ‘hmph’ of both disappointment and approval.

“Yes, I am. I’m glad to finally have the opportunity to visit Hewn City properly.” you respond, offering a small, neutral smile. You decided that maybe if you treat these people politely, and not allow any snide remarks to outwardly anger you, they would see you as immune to their judgment and would back down.

The female raises her brow. Rhysand later would tell you her name is Emelia, daughter of a family known for trades. But when you glance to your side, you realize your mate has been pulled aside with Mor in what looks like an unpleasant conversation with Keir, the steward of Hewn City.

Emelia decides to strike while you’re alone, having no respect for someone who, technically, wasn’t her direct authority, “Well, that makes it sounds like you weren’t allowed to visit the Court. Why, does your High Lord keep you at arm’s length?” she drawls, sipping her golden-flaked wine in a weak attempt to hide her triumphant smirk.

Your back straightens, stunned for only a moment at her implication. “Well, it’s just a little difficult finding free time to revel so often when there are duties I must see to for the Night Court as a whole. I’m not sure if you will understand, however, considering how many of these occasions you’ve mentioned you spend your time going to.” you quip, quickly realizing that being nice and courteous to people wouldn’t work, and that Rhysand was unfortunately right to maintain equilibrium in Hewn City through intimidation.

You leave Emelia fuming in your wake, not bidding her a farewell as you head to Rhysand who now converses with Keir alone. Your mate looks relieved when he sees you coming, moving like a wisp in your black dress across the ebony throne room. The male to his left, however, looks less than pleased to see you coming in contrast.

“Keir,” you greet as Rhysand bends to kiss your cheek in loving greeting.

Keir only says your name in return before looking to Rhysand. “Well, that’s all from me, enjoy your fun, Rhysand.” he says, sending a scrutinizing look your way before departing.

Your mate lets him go without the satisfaction of a response. Rhysand sighs, turning to face you and reaching a hand to adjust the positioning of your necklace. His hand brushes against your collarbone as you meet his eyes. “Was she giving you trouble?” he says, recalling that he had to leave you with Emelia, “I felt some tension on your end of the bond,” he murmurs, careful of the level of his voice due to the room being full of prying, pointy ears.

“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” you assure him, taking your turn to do some adjusting by straightening the sculpted fabric of his overcoat. You thought you had managed yourself well with Emelia, who you assume was somewhere between a jealous young female to another rebellious citizen spewing the opinions fed to her by others, and your confidence began to return until you and Rhysand were silent enough for a conversation to reach your ears.

“Look at her. Dressed like a queen and yet she does nothing for the Night Court,” a male voice scoffed. You hear female and male voices laughing almost forcefully in adoration. The male continues, his voice only slightly muffled from the crowd and the distant music, “All I’m saying is, I don’t even work in politics and I could probably do a better job than her.”

After some more irritating cackling, a female voice pipes in, “The dress is tacky, anyway.”

With your heart in your stomach, you don’t even have the chance to look around and locate the owners of these voices as you notice your mate has already walked the few feet over to the small group near the edge of the throne room.

You worry that following after your mate and standing there as he, you assume, chides the yapping male, you make your way to the nearby refreshment table. Azriel thankfully stands there, who seems to be avidly trying to blend into the wall in order to avoid conversing with the unpleasant guests.

“Pretend we’re having a conversation. I’m eavesdropping.” you tell him once you arrive, and Azriel responds with a joking ‘yes, ma’am’ as you become another one of the pointy-eared eavesdroppers.

“Cielo,” you hear Rhysand drawl, a wicked grin on his face as he inserts himself into their conversation. Satisfaction begins to lift your heart back into place as the group’s laughter comes to an abrupt halt.

“Are you implying you think you’d be a better High Lady for me?” Rhysand hums, brow raising at Cielo, who now looks stiff with embarrassment. “Really, I had no idea you harboured such feelings for me, I’m truly flattered.” Rhysand continues just enough so that Cielo’s friends have turned their amusement to their rather humiliated looking pal.

Rhysand takes a step forward, a few inches taller than the glaring male. “I’d hate to break your heart, but if you ever speak about your High Lady and my mate in such a disgusting manner again, I will make an example out of you as to exactly what the punishment is for disrespecting your authority.” and just as his friends began to snicker, Rhysand’s sharp violet gaze turns to them. “And that goes for all of you,” he snaps. Rhysand stalks away, leaving the small crowd of Fae in silence as he finds you next to Azriel.

“You know,” you say cheekily, “I could’ve handled that, too.”

Rhysand sighs as he takes a glass of wine from the table, likely wanting some alcohol to stroke away the flames of his temper. “I know, darling. Sorry for beating you to it, I just couldn’t stand by and listen to them spit bullshit like that.” he scoffs. You can’t be bothered to be mad—too busy gleaming in triumph and pride over your love’s protectiveness.

“Well, I think they learned their lesson,” you giggle, glancing to the group who now watch you and Rhysand in weariness rather than entitlement.

“Good. If they can’t appreciate what you do for them, they could at least keep their mouths shut.” he hisses. You rest your hand on Rhysand’s elbow to bring his attention back to you.

“Why don’t we dance? That way, no one can judge us for not speaking to anyone.” you suggest.

Rhysand takes your hand and kisses the back of it, “I like the sound of that.” he agrees.

After a night full of dancing and more inevitable political conversations, you and Rhysand winnow back to the House of Wind as you call it a night. You find yourself standing in front of your long mirror, trying to reach back to undo the finicky zipper of your dress. You see Rhysand take a step closer to you in the mirror and feel as his hands snake into place on each side of your waist.

“So, how about that celebrating?” he grins to your reflection.

#acotar #rhysand #rhysand x reader #a court of thorns and roses #high lord rhysand #high lord of the night court #the night court #night court #rhysand x y/n #rhysand x you #cassian x reader #azriel x reader #azriel #cassian

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spoilmesweetieforficssake · 1 month

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hi hi hi!! I love your fics so much and i don't know if you're still taking requests but if you are could you write a Melissa x reader where the reader is madly in love with Melissa and everyone kind of knows except for Mel. And when Mel starts flirting with Gary reader starts going on random dates to try and get over Mel, but Mel gets jealous and hates every person that reader tries to date. And their friendship gets all angsty but they of course end up happily together and everyone at Abbott is like "finally took you two long enough"

I feel like saying this has taken forever isn't actually an exaggeration - but better late than never! I hope after all this time that this is at least close to what you were looking for. I admit though, I got a bit indecisive with the ending, so there are actually two and you can pick which you prefer.!

Melissa and Gary are a thing, and you hate it. Worse, you hate that you hate it. You want to be happy for her, you really do, but you can’t help the way your heart clenches painfully every time you hear her talk about what she and Gary are doing together, or apparently the nausea that comes with seeing them together.

Still, you weren’t raised without manners and in love with your friend though you may be, you are Melissa’s friend first and foremost. So you slap on a smile and endure the looks of sympathy from your colleagues.

When you start to distance yourself it’s not because you don’t want to spend time with the redhead, but as an act of self-preservation. Your little Abbott family, who were annoyingly quick to pick up on the fact you were in love with the red head, are also quick to pick up on the shift.

Barb is the first to say something out loud, offering to set you up with a nice girl she knows. It’s unexpected and takes you by surprise. “Thanks, Barb. It’s really sweet of you but I’m not looking for anything serious just now.”

You miss the daggers being aimed at the kindergarten teacher behind your head and in making a break for the coffee machine you also miss the older woman’s raised eyebrow in response to a certain red head.

“So, how many matches did we get?” asks Jacob like it’s some kind of team game, as he comes into the break room to find you on your phone.

It had been games night the night before, but the board game had ended up set aside and Jacob and Janine got you set up on Tinder. Melissa suddenly becomes very interested in your phone screen over your shoulder.

“You really think you need an app to get a date?”

“Well we can’t all have our other halves roll in with our favourite drinks, can we?” you quip, ignoring her jibe. You keep your eyes on your phone, all too aware of the silence that has fallen over the breakroom at your comment.

You jump as Melissa suddenly leans over your shoulder, swiping at your screen.

“She’s too old for you.”

You turn to look at the red head with a raised eyebrow. “Actually, I set the age range myself, so she’d have been just the right age.”

She huffs and you turn back to your phone, and if you swipe with a little more vigour than before, well, it’s certainly not to prove a point.

You manage to set up a couple of dates via the app, but they’re terrible. What you hoped could be a chance to blow of a little steam ends of being up being a few awkward drinks with people who are more interested in their image and talking about themselves than anything else.

Not that you tell that to Melissa. No, as far as she’s aware the string of dates you’ve on have been great.

“Yeah, that’s why you keep going on new ones,” she quips one day.

“I didn’t say I planned on marrying these people,” you huff. “But it’s not illegal to want a little fun!”

Melissa snorts. “You’re not that shallow,” she smirks as she passes you on her way out of the room.

You lay your head on the table, groaning.

“Those dates that bad, huh?”

Your head flies up at the words, eyes wide as you take in Ava pouring a liberal amount of sugar into her coffee. Had she been there the whole time? “They’ve not been great,” you admit. “I don’t tend to well on dates when I’ve never really met the person, never mind barely messaged them,” you admit.

Ava cocks her head to the side. “You let Tweedledumb and Tweedleditzy set up that account, didn’t you?”

You nod, not quite sure where she’s going with this.

“Yeah, you ain’t gonna get dates who just want to do the dirty and not expect breakfast in the morning with something they set up.” She slides into the seat opposite you and holds out her hand. “I can fix that. Gimme your phone.”

She rolls her eyes as you flinch back. “You know what? Forget that stupid app. I’ll get you a date. You’ll love this one. Trust me.”

You’re not entirely convinced you do as she waggles her eyebrows playfully at you, but surely anything has to be better than the dates you’ve recently been on?

You walk in to the bar and for a moment you think that Ava has somehow set you up with Melissa. The red hair catches you attention first, the feminine curves a quick second, but then you realise the hair is not quite the right colour, the curves less pronounced. The description of the outfit matches though so after taking a moment to compose yourself, you make your way over and say hi.

Blue eyes meet yours as she stands and the woman takes a moment to look you up and down as you squirm under the attention. How people can do anything other than blush and stutter under the scrutiny of a beautiful woman you’re not sure. One thing you do know though, is that this woman is indeed beautiful.

“Ava said you might be a little nervous, so got you a drink.”

You thank her, taking a sip only to realise that Ava must have also told the woman what you drank. Your second sip turns more into a gulp as you proceed to down the drink. “Sorry,” you say sheepishly. “Could at least have asked your name before I downed the drink you bought me.”

She smiles at your embarrassment, extending a hand. “Joanne,” she offers. “Jo, if I decide I like you.”

“Here’s hoping,” you smile back, shaking the offered hand.

It’s going well, you realise. The conversation is flowing between you and can’t deny she’s attractive. She seems to like what she sees too if her flirting and casual touches are anything to go by. There’s just one problem. There’s another red head on your mind and you can’t help but compare the two.

Joanne seems to feel your hesitancy. “It’s fine,” she says, her smile turning gentle as she places a hand on your arm. “Ava suggested you might be a little emotionally unavailable, but it’s been a while since I had a date with a cute girl, so I figured what’s the harm?”

“Sorry,” you say, ducking your head.

“Don’t be,” smiles the red head. “Look, we’re here, why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”

“You don’t deserve that,” you say, shaking your head.

Joanne merely smirks. “You’re buying the drinks.”

There’s something about her easy manner that puts you at ease. You look up at her, waiting patiently for you to speak. Ava had clearly told her more than your favourite tipple.

“What’s her name?” she asks.

You feel your cheeks heat up. Here you are, sitting on a date with a beautiful, interesting, apparently endlessly patient woman, and she’s asking about her. “Melissa,” you say in all but a whisper.

“Let me guess,” smirks the other woman. “Red head, my kinda age?”

Your blush only deepens.

Joanne chuckles. “Ava ain’t subtle, honey. But you know you gotta move on before your little heart breaks even more.”

The hand that had been resting on your arm moves to cup your cheek as she leans in to kiss you. It’s nice. It’s really nice. And for a moment, you find you’re not thinking about Melissa.

“Well fuck,” sighs Melissa, halting in her steps. She stands, unable to look away as she sees you in the bar, clearly on a date. For a moment, she’s not sure what to do. She had been on her way to your apartment, but she can hardly interrupt your night now. “What a shitty end to a shitty night,” she breathes, stuffing her hands into her jacket pockets as she turns on her heel and heads home, her steps much less determined than they had been.

When Monday rolls around you’re in a better mood than you’ve been in a while. To your surprise, you actually enjoyed Ava’s date. She was good company, and after you were honest with her, it turned out she was also rather good at giving advice. The advice being that you should be the friend you’ve always been to Melissa, after all, it’s not the red head’s fault you fell in love with her. The kissing and light making out was just a bonus, really. A little fun never hurt, after all.

Melissa, however, isn’t quite so bright come Monday. She’s quiet, distracted and when you finally ask what’s wrong at lunch, she just shakes her head and leaves the room. You look to Barb, hoping she’ll take pity and at least cast a little light on the situation.

“She and Gary broke up,” she tells you quietly, her voice low to keep the other’s from hearing.

“Oh,” you breathe. You’re not quite sure what to say to that.

At the end of the day, you look up from your tidying to find Melissa loitering in your doorway. “Hey,” you say by way of greeting. “Barb told me,” you tell her, offering a sad smile. “Sorry to hear.”

She shrugs. “I think I knew it was coming…just, didn’t expect it to happen the way it did.”

You watch as she comes to sit on the edge of your desk. “Saw you out on your date on Saturday. Was actually on my way to yours.”

“Oh,” you say, your cheeks heating up. “Yeah, Ava set me up. She was great but we’re not taking it any further. Or at least, it’s nothing serious.”

“But you looked like you were having a good time, and she…”

You shake your head. “I was…it was…Gary’s an ass by the way, for leaving you,” is what finally comes out.

“Actually, Gary isn’t an ass” she sighs. “Gary called it quits because he asked me if I’d ever say yes if he asked me the question…and I told him I couldn’t.” She drops her gaze, hanging her head. “He knew it wasn’t just my past that meant I couldn’t say yes. He knew my heart wasn’t in it…”

You start putting two and two together and getting dangerously close to four. Gary broke up with Melissa because she wouldn’t say yes to that question. Because her heart wasn’t in it.

“Why did Ava set you up with that woman?” asks Melissa, still not looking up.

Unable to properly see her face, hidden as it is by her hair, you can’t read her expression as you’d like to. Your next words feel important thought. “Ava knows my type.”

Melissa nods, her eyes still on the floor. “Why ain’t you gonna see that woman again?” This time she does look up. “You looked like you were actually enjoying yourself.”

“I was,” you admit. There’s no point lying. She saw you, probably smiling and laughing. “Ava set me up with her because she knew I’d find her attractive. But she also told her I might be a bit hung up on someone else, so that night, when you saw me with her, I was probably talking about you.”

“You were talking about me, with her, while she was kissing you?”

That comment lets you place when Melissa would have walked by. You nod. “When you saw me, that was probably right around the time she told me I should think about moving on if I didn’t want to break my own heart even more.”

Melissa stands and is in front of you before either of you can think. She looks at you for what feels like forever, green eyes searching your face, for what you don’t know. She reaches up to touch your face and you close your eyes on instinct, gasping at the featherlight touch of her lips against yours. Covering the hand on your face with your own, you open your eyes as she pulls back. “I can’t do this if your heart’s not in it.”

“What if it is?”

* Ava

“Well I was gonna ask how you enjoyed my date but I guess I got my answer.”

The pair of you jump at the sound of Ava’s voice.

“About damn time you two got your shit together. If I’d knows all it would take to get you with this spicy white was to put another firecracker in front of you I’d have done it months ago!” She claps her hands excitedly. “Oh this is too good to keep!” She disappears from the doorway, only for her head to pop back around a moment later. “Just no funny business in front of the kids. But what happens in the supply closet stays in the supply closet,” she grins, waggling her eyebrows at the pair of you. With that, she leaves you, the sound of her heels echoing along the hallway.

“Ava!” scolds Melissa, thinking she’s going to have to take disinfectant wipes the next time she ventures into the supply closet. With Ava, there’s no guessing what level of depravity the room has been subjected to.

You know your cheeks are beet red, and you hide your face against Melissa’s shoulder.

“This isn’t exactly how I saw this going,” admits the red head.

Raising your head, you look up at her with hopeful eyes. “But you saw it going somewhere?”

She shrugs. “You seem keen on going on all these dates, how about one with me?”

Biting your lip, you take a moment to just look at her; the slightly shy expression, the twinkle in her eye. Nodding, you lean in to kiss her once more.

“You know I almost didn’t believe her.”

You pull apart to see Barb in the doorway.

Melissa rolls her eyes. “Anyone else wanna come and watch?”

A moment later Janine’s head appears around the doorframe, Jacob close behind.

“Seriously?” snaps the red head, hands on her hips.

Ava returns, a wide grin plastered on her face. “They wanted to come and confirm before I collected my winnings.”

“Winnings?” asks Melissa, eyebrow raised and tone bordering on dangerous.

“Hand it over people,” smirks Ava, hand extended.

“Oh hell no!” The red head snaps into action, heading for the group. “You did not bet on me!” She snatches the notes from Ava’s outstretched hand. “You bet on my happiness I’m sure you won’t mind if this goes towards it! Y/N? Let’s go!”

You look at the hand being held out towards you and are quick to hoist your bag onto your shoulder and follow her. You duck your head and blush under everyone’s gaze but can’t help but grin as your hand settles in her own.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” calls Ava.

The group watches you both go, Melissa rolling her eyes at the hollering they let out as she puts a possessive arm around your waist.

* Barb *

If Barb notices that Melissa is unusually reserved as they order their drinks she says nothing of it. Truth be told, she had only suggested the meal to make sure Melissa wasn’t left sitting in the house on her own on a Friday night, or worse, going out to the bars on her own in search of some company for the night.

“There’s something I gotta tell you,” says the red head, setting down the menu wasn’t even reading.

“You’re not getting back together with him, are you?” asks the Kindergarten teacher.

“What? No! No, I…that’s over and it’s for the best,” replies Melissa. “No, the night Gary broke up with me, I ended up going for a walk to clear my head and ended up heading to Y/N’s apartment, except I didn’t quite make it there,” she admits. “I saw her out on that date Ava set her up on.” She sighs, wishing she had waited for their drinks to have arrived. “And it made me feel…”

“Jealous?” Barb ventures.

Melissa looks up, meeting her friend’s eyes. “I guess that covers it, yeah.” Taking a deep breath, she pushes on. “Anyway, I spoke to her on Monday about it…and I might have kissed her.” Admission made, she looks away, pleased to see the waiter arriving with their drinks. She doesn’t even let him put it on the table before she takes it and raises it to her lips. It’s only when she finally sets her cocktail glass down, half empty, that she dares to look at her friend once more.

What she sees is a gentle smile.

“Took you long enough.”

“What?” she asks, a frown creasing her features.

“You have liked that girl since before Gary was even on the scene,” says Barb.

Melisa’s frown only deepens. “Then why did you push me, literally may I add, in his direction?”

At this, Barb’s smile falters. “I hoped it might make you realise how you felt about her.”

The red head lets out a huff, reaching for her glass once more. “Well that went well, didn’t it?”

“It wasn’t my finest moment”, admits the older woman. “But maybe it’s all finally working out in the end?”

Melissa fidgets with her straw. “So you don’t think she’s too young? Too…”

Reaching out, Barb places a gentle hand on her friend’s arm. “I think she’s in love with you, and I think you like her, a lot.”

Cheeks pinking, Melissa puts down her glass. “I do. A lot. A helluva lot.”

Knowing it says something in itself the fact the red head isn’t making a joke, but rather admitting how she feels, Barb knows this is the real deal. She knows if this goes South that hearts will be well and truly broken, but she’s seen the two of you together. You work well together. There’s a quiet in you that balances out the boisterousness of Melissa. A steadiness that although she won’t admit it, the red head craves.

“I think you could be good for each other,” she says softly. “And no, I don’t think she’s too anything.”

#melissa x reader #abbott elementary #melissa schemmenti x reader

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bogleech · 10 months

Note

Why do the adult stages of insects have short lifespans?

Most animals can't reproduce, and most don't even develop the organ systems to do so, until almost the end of their development. Many mammals are actually rare freaks for their ability to start reproducing as little as a third into their lifespan, and keep reproducing over and over until they die; it's an extreme and radical survival strategy we evolved that comes with some pretty severe trade-offs, in that we have high energy demands and require so, so much food in proportion to most other organisms, not to mention all the ways those reproduction systems can take on illness, malfunction or hurt us. Other animals like birds and reptiles and various fish opted instead to reach adult size as fast as they can, build the reproductive system, and then just take it easy: they live a long time and can mate more than once, but they don't do so constantly and don't make that many young. The MOST common strategy in nature, basically the default norm is to devote most of your life just to eating, growing, and storing resources in your body, then "spend" all the resources you can on reproduction, giving so much of your energy to your babies that it actually kills you. The upside is that this is why most animals make hundreds or even thousands of young in one go, which better guarantees that at least one will survive. Salmon and octopuses are two of the most famous non-insects that do it that way, but so do thousands of other mollusks, fish, members of the various "worm" phyla and others. Many insect groups hyper-streamlined this, so they have a larval stage that's just an eating machine, like caterpillars and maggots, possessing only the bare minimum anatomy they need to keep on eating and growing and nothing else, usually incapable of even traveling from the same food source they were born on. They then use up all of this stored energy to create a body that is perfect for perpetuating their species, including more mobility (such as wings) to spread their population further. Insects exhibit almost every variation there is, but many insect groups hyper-streamlined the basic method so they have a larval stage devoted to non-stop eating, like a caterpillar or a maggot, devoid of any anatomy that does not help it collect all the energy it can as continuously as it can, then use up that energy to build an equally dedicated mating form, which may last only days or weeks because it even gave up the ability to eat as it devoted as much of its body as possible to making those babies in that one big go. There are still many exceptions including insects like cockroaches who mirror the mammal strategy of mating over and over for a relatively "long" adult life, or insects that still only mate the one time, but still at the end of a fairly long adult life that continues to eat and store energy. The most extreme exception to this might be aphids, which continuously develop clone offspring and give live birth to them for their entire life, by which I mean some aphids are born already pregnant with their first clone. These actually still go through a normal mating process too, though, when a winged male finds them near the end of the year, and then they die after laying proper eggs that can survive the winter. The non-stop clone babies are just so that one female has even higher odds of mating with at least one of those males, because now there's 10,000 of her for him to find. To understand basically everything in nature you just have to understand that: 1: life forms actually work like video game characters in that they constantly "farm experience" (nutrient energy) they have to spend on their unique spread of stats and abilities (every body part and system comprising them) 2: every life form evolves as if the only goal of that entire game is to generate offspring and increase the odds of their survival, literally no matter what must be sacrificed.

#nature #animals #biology

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luffyvace · 2 months

Text

Saiki k x Reader headcanons

This is on my anime’s I write for list and I haven’t written for it yet so I wanted to show what I can do! 😉

Enjoy!! I Love Saiki, Aren and Aiura 💗💜💛

Okay let’s face it

your regular.

average.

literally. (probably) like you are irl

doesn’t it feel good to have reader be accurate to how you are for once?

and that your fav would genuinely be into that and you know it?!

like you don’t have to pretend or imagine to be this cool, physically strong person your not for once?? Just me?

idk but it sure is refreshing

especially since it’s canon with saiki after he practically stalked that one dude

anyway onto the headcanons

I wanna start off by saying Saiki’s love languages are gift giving and quality time

the best part about gift giving is he could just leave it on your desk or night stand and watch your reaction from afar

they’re always very thoughtful since he can read your mind :) which is a plus!

and as for quality time he finds it quite peaceful to be around someone who’s not such a weirdo for once

and even if you are one, for some reason he can tolerate your strange behavior way better than he can your friends 😂

it’s always fun to play that one video game he has together

and it’s practically a requirement that every saiki k hcs have—you two will eat coffee jelly together

he would at least want you to try it and if you don’t like it’s that’s fine more for him

He’ll just get you whatever sweet, savory or spicy food you like so you can both enjoy something (and someone 💋) you love together!~

his mother absolutely adores you and is always pestering Saiki about when you’ll be back again

his dad thinks your a “good kid” (🗿) (like every dad says 😭)

Saiki loves to go on walks together

What he doesn’t like is when something chaotic happens to ruin it

but that’s besides the point—he loves to walk to school together!

nothing like getting up every day and seeing your lover. Going on a romantic walk too?*chefs kiss* 💋👩‍🍳

will try to indulge in your interests and hobbies to keep you happy

you may or may not be a introvert like him

if you aren’t he’ll go out and hang out with friends even if that’s outside of his comfort zone for you

but do remember to cut him some slack if he doesn’t want to or wants to go home early <3

and if your an introvert? Wonderful!

99.99% of dates are spent at either of your rooms (not just houses cuz parents are annoying)

or at that one shop that sells the coffee jelly he likes

only if you agree of course

if you prefer something even more private that’s just fine with him!

he only ever wants some peace anyway

and you simply never disturb that, to which he very much appreciates

if your a touchy-feely typa peep, please keep it to a minimum? Especially in public??

he’s already not really a physical touch person the way a perceive it

not that he hates it or anything

he just is more comfy without it when unnecessary

at least in public

he already will probably want to keep your relationship a secret/private for as long as possible

(he knows it’ll get out eventually by some misfortune event 🤦‍♀️)

but since they find out anyway here’s they’re reactions!

Honestly Nendo probably won’t realize your dating until you explicitly say so

either that or he’ll be the first one to know and just be like ‘oh, i thought everyone knew that’

Aren really doesn’t mind and thinks your relationship is sweet

Hairo supports wholeheartedly- maybe a little too much 😅💗

Chiyo is lowkey jealous you both got into a relationship before her but she’s happy

Torisuka is MAD jealous of Saiki but deep inside he’s still happy for you two

Kaido is also a tad jealous because he knows he would practically never find a girl his mom would accept but otherwise he pretty much supports 😭💕

Mera just uses your dates to get some free food (JOKING) she thinks you guys are cute

Saiko (Teruhashi’s brother) would be happy Saiki finally stopped desperately chasing his sister and learned his place (it’s the other way around bro 😑)

Uryoku (the magician dude) would be like ‘oh you dating someone master? Great! Now I need help for my upcoming show-“

Aiura immediately tests to see if you two are compatible and how long you’ll be together

turns out you are!! And you two stay together ♡

she thinks that’s adorable and will do anything for your relationship

will tear anyone who tries to split you apart a new one (they were just trying to say hi)

Aiura is the most supportive of your relationship

btw here we’re going with Saiki is her platonic soulmate instead (she prob already is)

Kusuke (Saiki’s brother) is very much so interested in the person his brother has fallen in love with

he will observe you and ask you lots of questions once he meets you

which I’m telling you Saiki tried so hard to make sure you never would.

what happened?

his mom happened.

”Kusuo! He’s your brother! He should get to meet your partner!”

now Teruhashi I had to save for last..

her reaction depends

if she still loves Saiki she tries to befriend you while turning on the charm with Saiki

her plan is to befriend you and basically make you go ‘oh! You like Saiki? Well I guess I’ll back off then since were friends”

and finally have Saiki go ‘oh wow’ and fall in love with her

otherwise if she doesn’t love him, moves on or whatever the case may be..

she probably doesn’t care much for your relationship unless your friends

i mean she’s kinda like that to anyone she isn’t friends with right?

In other news

Your friends def mess up your dates unintentionally

poor Saiki- since he’s usually the one to plan them

nothing too extravagant- usually just out for food..BUT STILL!

They always tag along and become 3rd, 4th and sometimes 5th wheels or more! 😀

on the bright side-

at some point in the relationship you get to call him Kusuo and it’s a big step for you two! 💖

”well, I guess we’ve been dating long enough right? You can just call me Kusuo..”

I wanna write for the disastrous life of Saiki k (mob psycho 100 and black butler as well) more in the future! So send in requests!

Truly hope you enjoyed loves~

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xjulixred45x · 3 months

Note

Hello again, Thank you for answering my first request. May I please request for Yandere Nanami x Frail darling x Yandere Gojo wherein Frail darling manages to escape and tries to hide from them ,but their sickly coughs give them away. How would they handle their darling?

Ohhhh this is very interesting! Im in!

Thank you for the new Request hun❤️

Yandere!Kento Nanami+Yandere! Satoru Gojo x Frail!Reader

Genre: Headcanons

Reader:neutral

Warnings: YANDERE(kind of soft, it still), UNHEALTY MINDSET, OBSESIVE BEHAVIOR, MANIPULATION, Minor intimidation, sickness, kind of infantilization, runaway scenario, SCARY GOJO AND NANAMI. Poly Yandere. A little long.

I have a feeling that you and Gojo and Nanami met in a very arbitrary way. You were someone who was part of their lives on a daily basis.

They probably frequented the same eating places as You, for example.

and to begin with, they were already aware of your fragile state of health from that moment on, if it was not because of your docile and weak attitude, it was because of your sudden attacks of coughing or sneezing.

It made both Gojo and Nanami notice you and in a way think more of you, since you were more likely to be a victim of Curses.

They took care of you from afar at first, like they were SUPPOSED to. It wasn't until Gojo decided to take the "first step" to interact directly with you with the excuse that this would better exorcise the curse that was close to you. (all without consulting Nanami obviously).

To be honest, from the beginning you felt a kind of intimidating presence, from both of them. You had recognized their existences because they were also frequent, sure, but when they appeared and entered your life, they definitely left you a little shabby. off your feet, to say the least.

Gojo was a very playful friend, you realized this before when you were listening to him talk to Nanami, he loved to annoy him and try to get him out of his temper. but with you it was more of a strangely affectionate type of game.

He would tone it down with you (Nanami's advice so as not to scare you), and he also always tried to make you laugh, which was sometimes a bit counterproductive because you would laugh so much that sometimes you would end up in a coughing fit, and with one of the people rubbing you. your back.

Nanami was more reserved, but his presence was no less intimidating than Gojo's, he made himself noticeable in your life, even though he was considerably calmer than Gojo.

Nanami would always want to be aware of EVERYTHING you were going through, especially with your illness. It didn't seem very strange to you, when the people in your circle knew about your fragile state, they tended to become hyper-aware of your health.

You just dismissed it as that, healthy and genuine concern, especially now that you were having trouble staying afloat with your illness.

You just didn't want to feel like a burden to others.

although indirectly you ended up fueling the obsessive thoughts of both men more.

Yandere Gojo, being Yandere Gojo, as soon as he had these kinds of thoughts he wanted to take you as soon as possible, but Nanami VERY CLEARLY set the limits to which they would go.

(Gojo was probably a yandere for Nanami before he knew it was also reciprocal, so Gojo tends to listen to him to keep him happy and not hold him against him.)

Nanami is a more obsessive and softer type of Yandere, but no less terrifying. In less than a day he already had all the information about his illness and needs in "emergency cases."

Even when Nanami tells Gojo that he's not going to tear you away from your everyday life, he doesn't act like that's the case. He buys many medical supplies and even he and Gojo set up a room together with hospital supplies in extreme cases (with Gojo family maids highly trained in medicine).

Kento wanted your arrival "home" to be perfect--

but Satoru hears himself in advance when he came one day alone to see you...

...and he came back, with you unconscious, in his arms.

To say that Kento was furious at first was an understatement.

But he calmed down relatively quickly, because after all, couldn't they take advantage of this opportunity? They would have to bring you sooner or later, even if he had preferred a better welcome...what's done is done.

In more general cases, these two are a kind of "Good Cop" (Kento) and "Bad Cop" (Satoru).

Satoru is extremely clingy now that he has you and Kento to himself, and he doesn't miss a chance to be close to you.

Apart from the fact that he is the one who is home the most, so he is the one who takes care of you the most, ironically.

Yandere Satoru tends to be a jerk from time to time okay? many times more than treating you like someone sick who still has DESIRES and NEEDS, treats you like a baby, wraps you in a blanket, feeds you with a spoon, etc.

(It's not a good idea to refuse your food unless Nanami is there, forcing it down your throat.)

although he is also the one who tends to spoil you the most and the least rude with "time out" precisely because of his own infantilizing dynamics.

He's like "You?? Runaway from them?? Ha!Like it's gonna happen."

Satoru is quite condescending and, above all, he believes that you are too fragile and delicate to get ready on your own, so he does almost everything for you (which makes everything very monotonous since you rarely leave your "room" and your muscles atrophy from lack of use).

He understands better when you don't want to take certain medicines either because they taste bad or because of the effects they can have on your body, so he usually just grinds them into powder (if possible) and puts them in your favorite food, this way he doesn't have to fight with you to take them.

(the food is done by Kento, Satoru canon burns water).

Although don't be fooled, he is very demanding with affection, hugs, kisses, cuddles, nicknames, both giving and RECEIVING, if you want to gain his trust, a good way to do it is to play along.

Kento, on the other hand, tends to be a bit controlling, but she's the one who doesn't swim because she takes the issue of your health very VERY seriously.

Whenever possible, he will be the one to give you medicine, cook for you, help you change, you don't have to do anything. What happens if you get hurt while trying to cook? Or slip when you try to bathe?

The guy is paranoid.

He probably even gave you a pacemaker without telling you so he could have a record of your heart rates in case of an "emergency"☠️

Nanami is gentle when it comes to you, but at the same time he doesn't underestimate you, there are always several locks on the front door, plus the ones on your door, not to mention the monitor she put in your shared room so he can keep track of everything.

Kento always keeps Gojo in line, and in a way makes him more empathetic to your situation, even if he respects him, he doesn't fully trust him to take care of you. You can use that to your advantage, if you want to be away from Satoru for a while just tell Kento and they will "have a talk".

Although, honestly, Kento may be even more Manipulative than Satoru.

For example, using what happened with Haibara in his youth as an excuse, opening up emotionally to you, to manipulate you and make you see that he is "the lesser of two evils."

As far as possible, both are better in what one lacks. That was what prevented a bad scenario. or at least a worse one you were in now, stuck with both of them.

but on one occasion SOMETHING happens...

It was one of the few days when you would be alone for a couple of hours.

It was a golden opportunity to escape.

you went over everything twice, you took out your pacemaker, you evaded the monitor and Satoru's employees, damn, you managed to get outside!

And what seemed like the icing on the cake? Satoru was supposed to be in Kyoto, even if Nanami started searching on her own, she wouldn't realize you were gone until very late.

You ran and ran as much as you could through the streets of Tokyo, occasionally stealing a few items of clothing to change your appearance a little, paranoid that Kento or Satoru were around the corner.

The plan was to go to the train station in Shibuya - hopefully with so many people you would be harder to detect - and take the first train that would take you away from there, to an airport perhaps.

but as you were going down to go to where the trains were, YOU FELT IT.

His heavy preferences were down there... waiting for you...

How did they know that was where you were going? You had no idea, but you fled in the opposite direction again.

you hid in an alley the best you could. with your heart racing and your heart in your mouth as you felt how they were getting closer...

You had some hope, a little, when they were going to continue on....when--.

A cough.

a coughing fit.

You tried to cover your mouth and muffle the sound, curl up into a ball, anything. so --

-"I found youuuu!~"-

Saotru was right next to you...

Kento made a mistake, but don't worry, this wouldn't happen again, you wouldn't be left alone again if he could avoid it, reinforce security, be with you longer! anything for you!

You have no idea how much you worried them! As soon as Satoru received the call from Kento that you had run away from his house, he stopped everything he was doing and went to help him.

Poor thing! You must be so scared being out there alone! You didn't even bring your cough medicine or anything warm. What happens if you get an outbreak from or due to humidity? You didn't even bring a mask!

Good thing they found you in time, right? You are even crying with joy when you see them! They should take you to the Gojo estate as soon as possible and give me your medicine before your throat becomes infected, stop kicking! They know you like to walk but you are weak! you are weak..

you are fragile!

let them take care of you💙💛

Shares, reglogs and comments are very welcome!

#headcanons #fem reader #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jujutsu kaisen #jujustu kaisen #jujutsu no kaisen #yandere #yandere satoru gojo x reader #yandere nanami x reader #yandere gojo x reader #yandere gojo satoru #yandere kento nanami #yandere nanami #gojo x reader x nanami

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meryldian · 10 months

Text

⭑ ࣪˖ 2023 Bill Kaulitz NSFW Headcanons pt.2 ˖ ࣪⭑

Second part to *this* post

AN: I promised a part 2 so here you go!! I made this very quickly as I was excited to post it but I promise that the quality is at the same level or even better than the first !! ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ Next up I’ll mostly be focusing on the third part of my growing up with Devilish/TH series as well as some requests!

BY THE WAY: Would anyone be interested if I made a taglist?

~ Enjoy now ~

Alright, we left this at Oral.

@ilovebill-and-gustav made a really good point about Bill’s acrylics on this post that I SO agree with!! (Go check out her blog btw! Her writing is so good!! Always a breath of fresh air.)

So. As he often has acrylics on, he prioritizes oral. Which is honestly such a treat!

Bill will quite literally make out with your pussy. Never goes straight to the clit or tongue-fucking. He likes to take his sweet time.

Starts off by kissing down your navel, tracing it down with the tip of his tongue, moving onto your inner thighs and around it, he’ll give you a good flat tongue lick before starting.

He likes sucking on your lips and teasing your entrance, getting you as riled up as he can before attacking your clit. He loves how such a small body part can bring you so much pleasure.

His tongue piercing might be gone but his head game is just as good without it.

He gets so into it, moans into you because the simple act of pleasuring you arouses him so much.

Might grind into the mattress if he’s very needy that day.

Eating you out for breakfast is one of his favourite things to do.

I don’t know if you’ve seen his house but, his bedroom is completely surrounded by windows so imagine the dim orange light at sunrise illuminating your cozy bedroom and reflecting on Bill’s blonde locks as he’s giving you head.

I talked about his liking for hair pulling on the first part but, in this scenario you should play with/caress his pretty hair instead.

This is hot-

Be as loud as you need, wrap your legs around his head, he loves it all. Will stretch an arm up to fondle your chest and drag it down to hold you down by the waist as his thumb caresses it in circles. His other arm will be wrapped around your thigh, or fingering you if his nails are short, or sometimes masturbating.

Also likes to hold your hand, interwining your fingers while he devours your vulva. (I hate this word sm for no reason)

He won’t be wasting a single drop of you. Cum on his face and he will lick it all up.

Kisses your swollen clit once he’s done because you were just so good for him.

Bill prefers giving but will never say no to a good blowjob.

He can get so loud. Something I very much headcanon is that no matter how many years pass he can’t control himself with you. He’s just so in love and needs you so bad.

Surprisingly he’s more dominant when he’s giving you head.

When you blow him he gets pretty submissive.

Will start begging if you’ve been teasing him for too long.

Repeats his pleads in a soft and breathy voice.

His moans are heavenly.

Will grab your hair and push you down only if you allow him to touch you, he’s your good boy after all.

No really, praise him it gets him going.

He may be your slut but he at least wants to know he’s doing good at it.

And oh he’s big. But we all know it.

He enjoys when you swallow but loves to cum on your breats even more.

Speaking of breasts, he loves, loves, to fondle them while you jerk him off. Pulls at your nipples, squeezes them in his hand, caresses them.

Will suck on them if his face is close enough. Then lick up your sternum til he reaches your collarbones and neck.

No matter how old he gets, he still thinks hickies are cute as hell and will shamelessly mark you.

Back to his nails, you will inevitably end up with scratches.

Sometimes on your hips from when he guides your pace as you ride him, sometimes down your back after you’ve pegged him into the sunset, sometimes both-

He accidentally scratched your face once and immediately stopped everything to hold you in his arms and kiss all over your cheeks as he apologized :(

He loves to have you sitting on his lap during his insta and tiktok lives because it gives him easy access to tease you.

Naughty fucker.

But don’t forget you can also work him up ;) grinding on him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and caressing down his ear and neck.

You guys have made up some shitty excuse to quit the live and fuck more than once.

Mutual masturbation!! Especially on lazy sundays, before you get ready for your dinner date.

Or on sunny thursday afternoons before your weekly dinner at Nobu. (Source: Kaulitz Hills)

You’ll be coddled up in bed, sloppily kissing as you work on yourselves, occasionally helping out the other.

Bill likes to play with your clit as you fuck yourself with a dildo and he jacks off.

And trying new vibrators on you, preferably tied up, seing how many vibration levels you can take.

If he can’t finger you while you give him a handjob he’ll have a wand pressed to your clit.

You’ve definitely 69’ed a couple times in your relationship.

You can’t tell me that Bill doesn’t love oral.

He enjoys sensory deprivation. Mostly blindfolds on either of you. He absolutely loves the idea of being at your partner’s mercy, unaware of what they’ll do next.

With Bill it’s simple, the more he grows accostumed to a relationship, the more open to kinks he gets.

So if you’re long-term, you would experiment so many kinks, toys, locations, et cetera with him.

Take your time to communicate with him about what you enjoy, Bill LOVES communication. (As anyone should omg)

He enjoys getting wild and rough too, some choking here and there is always a good way to spice it up.

He definitely enjoys spanking, especially on himself.

There’s something when he sees your handprint or whip marks on his bum.

Get ready to be dicked down for an hour straight as round two.

Dim lights, silk sheets and a nice playlist muffled by the sound of Bill’s hips hitting against your pelvis.

After night outs, Bill will leave your high heels on when he strips you down. He thinks they’re so sexy and make your legs look heavenly.

Run your heel down his chest and stomach when you’re on your back in bed, and watch how hard he gets.

Bill is also so babygirl, he loves when you pick him up or when you have him sit on your lap.

Run your hands up his thighs when you make out it makes him weak.

Grab his ass

Lift him onto the kitchen counter and get between his legs.

He loves to run his hands under your shirt and bra when you do this.

His kitchen is just so perfect in every way, including (especially) for fucking.

He’s taken you many times on his kitchen island as you wait for your cookies to bake.

Thank GOD your house is on a hill and your neighbors can’t see through your many, many, many windows.

But you’ve been walked in on by Tom and Devon (Devon is a close friend of the twins as well as 1/2 to Tom’s dj project « Wedding Cake » if you didn’t know »

Anywhere in your house is a good sex spot honestly.

Living room by the stone fireplace? Oh yes. Outside in your beautiful terrace? Risky and spicy. The studio? Fuck yes. The round swing chair in the living room? Sounds like a challenge, let’s do it.

Imagine fogging up the glass of his little vocal recording room at his home-studio. Sits you on the stool and has your legs wide open. One on his shoulder, one pressed up against the wall as he pounds into you. Tilting your head up by your chin and holding eye-contact.

He recorded the audio once and saved it for himself. So when you’re away from one-another on work trips he’s got something to get off on.

Speaking of getting off, he also has some scandalous polaroids of you two going at it. He thinks it’s so much more romantic than filming a sex tape.

One’s a photo of you trying on some new lingerie, moving onto one of him pounding into you as he squeezes your breast, you on your side with your glistening pussy waiting for him, a faceless photo of you two standing as you give him a handjob, your hand wrapped firmly around his dick as you pound him with your favorite strap, and many many more. He keeps them like relics.

Oh and just to show you how romantic this guy is. He may be in Berlin filming a show while you’re still in LA and he will literally send you letters expressing how needy for you he is.

On another note:

Bill will deadass stop if your pets walk in. He could not care less when tom, the guys or a friend walks in but you guys’s pets??? No. He refuses to scar them for life.

He loves to switch positions and try new angles, some of his favorites are the pretzel, every type of missionary, spooning, any variation of cowgirl, lotus and more.

He loves intimate positions where he can see your pretty face. If there’s something Bill loves to do when having sex with you is kissing you.

In his podcast he’s mentioned that he considers kissing as such a romantic act, that he prefers not to kiss in a casual sex scenario. So now that he has you, feel special for how much he loves to make out with you.

Has you cockwarm him during slow and steamy makeout sessions.

Sometimes he’s a little shit and will get you all worked up just to pull out and go on with his day normally. Not even mentionning sex as he leaves you there all hot and bothered.

SHOWERING TOGETHER.

It can start all sweetly, washing each other and singing some old Devilish songs til someone decides to fuck for fun.

Shower sex is never as good as it seems but you guys still have a fun time. You laugh a lot, it’s your most careless sex.

Trying not to slip.

King of aftercare.

After you go down from your highs he will always brush your hair back, kiss you and tell you he loves you.

After some sweet moments it’s time to clean yourselves off.

If you have enough energy to shower it’ll be so sweet. Holding each other under the water. Washing each other’s hairs and backs. Kissing any marks you’ve left.

If you’re too tired Bill will always help out by wiping you down with a warm cloth. Giving you some sweet little pecks while he does it and sharing smiles and jokes.

Plz do the same for him, he would feel so loved.

Cleaning you guys’s toys is always a bonding experience. You may have some comments on how much you creamed it or how Bill thinks he should use it next time.

If you ever happen to tighten your strap too hard and it leaves marks Bill will take the time to trace and kiss them one by one. He’s fascinated that you put so much into making him feel good.

Loves to order some junk food and watch some bad reality TV after as you cuddle. Sharing a well deserved glass of wine, with funky facemasks on and matching satin pajamas.

Sometimes you give yourselves mani-pedis if you’re still energized.

Once you’re ready to go to bed he’s so sweet.

He will trace down your back and around your tattoos (if you have any) with his nails softly, telling you how well you did and how much he loves you.

Loves to fall asleep holding you, having your weight on his chest helps to calm him down.

I’m so in love with him it’s criminal

Ah!! I enjoyed writing these so much! ִ ࣪𖤐 I genuinely think 2023 Bill is such a gem of a man, reader is reeaaall lucky to have him (lmao) ~~~

I hope this pleased you!! Take care, drink water, eat well and live every second ₊˚⊹♡

- Meryl

#bill kaulitz #tokio hotel imagine #tokio hotel #tokio hotel x reader #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz smut #bill kaulitz imagines #bill kaulitz x you #x reader #tokio hotel smut #tom kaulitz #kaulitz #kaulitz twins #tokio hotel scenarios #tokio hotel alien #tokio hotel imagines #kaulitz hills

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katebria97 · 3 months

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Ryomen Sukuna as a dad

-While you are pregnant he is definitely more affectionate and soft towards you:

"Let me love you for once,stop being stubborn dammit"

-Very protective over the baby and you,wouldn't let anyone else but him touch you(not only while you are pregnant but in general): (will have his arm on your waist or below your belly glaring at anyone who looks your way)

-Surprisingly clingy,you'll literally have to pry his arms off of you and that's almost impossible to do most of the time

(will have his arms wrapped around you,once you try to move them,he replaces them back) "Can't get away from me darling,because 'm not leaving your side any time soon"

-Whenever he found out that you are pregnant he was really happy which wasn't like him,it's rare that he was that ecstatic about something,he definetley will want more children,I can see him having like a whole army of children

-he's less teasing than he would be than when you aren't pregnant,because he knows that you are sensitive because of your hormones,so he's gentle and just messes around with you once in awhile (he may or may not have gotten backhanded once or twice)

-would talk to your stomach like the baby can hear him

"Kick your moms ass for me yeah?" *smack* "ow what was that for?"

-I̶s̶ ̶m̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶h̶o̶r̶n̶y̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶g̶n̶a̶n̶t̶

-when you two cuddle he'll have his hands under your belly,lifting it up so your back isn't hurting as much,he wants the least amount of pain for you while you are going through this

-will cook and clean for you

-will give you baths and massages he wants to pamper you and make you feel less stressed/sore(also massages your stomach)

"Does it feel better?yeah? okay good"

-Will literally force you to relax,there isn't one time in your pregnancy that he wasn't not doing anything,he doesn't want you stressed out in the slightest

"sit.you aren't doing anything,especially where you could hurt yourself,I dont want you getting hurt,I love you too much for that"

-If anyone makes any comments towards you 'getting bigger' because of your pregnancy he'll want a little "chat" with them..

-will worship your body during and after pregnancy,he's very loving towards you,but only you

-Loves seeing you pregnant,he doesn't even act the way he normally would towards you,the pregnancy definitely changes the way he acts,he softened up towards you,a little more ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- this has been a draft because I was on break but let me know what you guys think of it I need feed back,so I know what to improve and details and if you guys want this to be a series(you can look back on the list and choose any character you'd like from the anime/game) I will make it one,have a good day/evening/night,eat and drink water,love you all<3

#sukuna x reader #jjk fluff #jjk hcs #jjk headcanons #sukuna x you #jjk x reader #jjk x you #pregnant reader

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absolutebl · 4 months

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This Week in BL - Top 3 Are HEATING UP

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Dec 2023 Wk 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Honestly, 3 are neck & necking for top position! They are all so good in different ways. But The Sign had me hooting with laughter this week, so it scooped #1.

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 4 of 10 - This show is literally everything (except straight) all at once. It's BL, queer, band of brothers, romcom, erotica, paranormal, fated mates, mystery, suspense, slasher, and horror. It’s the king of genre mash-up chaos. I have no idea what I’m watching but I’m ON this ride. Is it a roller coaster? Is it a haunted house? Is it a twirl & hurl? Is there candy floss? Am I even tall enough? Who tf cares. All through the second scene, I was laughing. It was legit funny. Billy has great comedic timing. Guess he’s not just a pretty face.

Everyone should be watching this. Sure, it's madness but there is genius in it.

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 6 of 12 - Yech. August may be one of GMMTV’s least likable characters ever (and that is saying something). Meanwhile, MOAR language play! They spoiling me!

Mhok letting Day go then walking away at the party hurt so bad.

Argh this show is great!

Ep 6 so that kiss was right on schedule. I’m looking forward to the boyfriend eps before doom & pain in the new year. Carry on GMMTV.

Speaking of...

Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 2 of 12 - Oh they’re great. It’s great. It’s paced oddly, moving quickly through most of the key scenes of the original JBL in these first 2 eps. I think it’s intending to encompass more of the manga series than that one did. Which is good, cause that will get us all the way to The Library Kiss (TM). It's the best kiss in the manga. I also like the sides in this show (better than the JBL version).

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) ep 8fin - What a lovely slightly unhinged little show. Tew, can we talk? Un-ironic suspenders, that takes courage. Also, the revolver was a crazy gun choice.

Final thoughts:

This show is just as ridiculous as its title. About a gaymer who falls in love with one of his in-game teammates, who just happens to be a IRL gangster. A real gangster, the kind that actually kills people regularly. The lead pair is doing their best with a ridiculous story and shoddy script, but I enjoyed it. Although I was grateful it wasn’t very long, what we got was oddly satisfying if, frankly, a little bit silly. Recommended. 8/10

That said, what's important about this BL is not the show, but the production and style. Let me explain... no, too much, let me sum up.

This is a chimera BL. Regarding characters: it has Japan's style otaku + Korea's style gangster + Thailand's style friendship group. It used Thai talent + Korean money (Kakao) & IP (adapted from a manwha) but aired on a Chinese channel globally (iQIYI). I'm delighted by the eclectic insanity of this production and truly doubt that any other genre but BL could ever produce like this. It's like diplomat's BL and it's the great wonder of our age that it happened at all. This BL deserves its place in the history books on production alone, even if that place is only in the footnotes. A remarkable little monster.

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - The sides are… messy. Using the same actor for the old bf is… odd. But in the end, this show leaves me smiling. Which means, I like it despite myself.

Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 4 of 6 - It's decent. It’s basically what I wanted Antique Bakery to be when I first watched that way back when (not to mention Bite Me). But there’s been so much BL since then that, for some reason, this is falling flat. I think it’s moving too fast for a Thai series. Although, say what you like, Ohm has to be one of the best soft kissers in the industry. He's just good at mouth tenderness.

Ugh, that doesn't sound right. But you know what I mean.

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 7 of 10 - I love how First is so upset when Sprite starts chatting and being nice to Koh. Sprite is just a sweet easy-going likable boy. I enjoy Sprite as a main character, he’s a bubbly little communicator. And they had a cute kiss.

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 5 of 14 - Because there was more Alan and Jeff and they were more key to the plot I was more into this ep. I do compare it to green smoothie down the pants in the Trash Watch.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 3 of 12 - Look OffGun are truly great. But I’m just not sure we need them in BL anymore. That said, it’s nice to see Off as "the one with the crush" for a change. Also, this show is only good when OffGun are on screen together, otherwise it kinda, well, sucks.

Night Dream (Sat YT) ep 1 of 6 - Cafe setting featuring a cook and a writer. *Seems awfully familiar.* Except these two are exes and this is a reunion romance. It’s stiff and very pulp but not bad (no crap sound effects) and I am a sucker for a reunion romance. That said, Rookie Thailand is not to be trusted, proceed with caution.

Absolute Zero (Weds iQIYI) ep 12fin - I'm grateful this is over. It was tense but for the wrong reasons - sadness and confusion. This final episode was fine, but that’s because it was mostly them being together + flashbacks. Plus all the familiar actor faces of the grown-up friends (hi, Karn my lovely, still stunning I see). But 2 of 12 episodes is not enough for the 10 of suffering and confusion that came before.

In conclusion:

A man is killed on his 10th anniversary resulting in a time paradox, for which the only solution is him never meeting his childhood sweetheart until later in life. Both lovers cycle back to the past at different ages, so that they each become their own 1st & 2nd great loves, but every time it ends in pain, until each also endures 10 years of separation. Finally it gets fixed, but leaves them with multiple memories of time's failures like temporal PTSD, and everyone around them has chronic deja vu. Me? I got both. This is one of those BLs that is high-quality with great acting but poor story. If you like your BL dwelling, maudlin, and tense due to angst and suffering, then you might enjoy this. But I just regret it, 6/10. Recommended only if you like confusing time travel emo pain.

In which case, just watch Tokyo in April is... instead. Give over Thailand, Japan does it better.

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 6 of 8 - While our main couple isn’t working for me... the side couple isn’t working for me either. I really wanted to give LeoTai a chance, this is the 3rd show I’ve seen them in, and still nope. I like Jade a lot more when he’s sad. He’s a much more pleasant screen experience depressed. I would like him to stay hurt for a couple of eps, just so I can enjoy this show a tiny bit more. But then he just goes unhinged again. Argh. I just don’t like it.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Pisces of Me ep 17 of 24 - Codependent boyfriends in middle school planning for high school dealing with stuff. Including other boys being into them.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 5 of 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. DNF

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - It’s cute but I don’t think BL in this short format is Taiwan’s strength these days. And this is quite slow and dull. Perhaps they should have whacked it down to 6 eps, not 10.

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 8 - This is one of those JBLs that I should like on paper but is failing me. The drag bit was ridiculous but handled gently. The kiss was… well… something wasn’t it? It’s all very odd. I like the photographer cutie character.

It's Airing But...

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). I don't think even the perfect single dimple can motivate me to watch. Word is... it's terrible.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes. I'm waiting to binge if it's safe.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed with ep 1. Been told I shouldn't bother.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until after it completes its run next week.

Dear Kitakyushu (Thai/Japan movie) in theaters in country only, I know nothing about distribution.

Behind the Shadows (Korea movie) this is a historical I was interested in, but I've been told they kill the gay so I'm OUT.

Next Week Looks Like This

Still coming:

12/23 Dead Friend Forever (Thai horror) iQIYI

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED). With the end of the year upon us I'll do an "announced for 2023 but never happened list" soon.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

He so pretty.

I forgot how likable TayNew are, and frankly I think New is a better version of this role for me, personally. I like him a lot. He's a conscientious sweetheart. And a good egg. (Cherry Magic)

Ah the rooftop my old friend. (Last Twilight)

I would like to point out that it's no accident the naga's sex dream happened in the shower, he's a water creature after all. (The Sign)

(Last week)

#the sign the series #was very hot this week #this week in bl #bl updates #Last Twilight #Thai BL #cherry magic #my dear gangster oppa #my dear gangster oppa review #for him the series #Bake Me Please #antique bakery #twins the series #cooking crush #offgun #Absolute Zero review #bl reviewed #bl reviews

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simplyreveries · 4 months

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Hi ^^ I read through some of your stuff and I really love your writing, can I request sleepover/cuddling headcanons for Riddle, Azul, Jamil, and Ortho? (And additionally, if it's okay could Idia be in Orthos platonically? Ignihyde sleepover :3)

sleepover; riddle, azul, jamil, ignihyde

thank you!<3

riddle rosehearts

now riddle can be stickler about these types of things but if you plead him enough, he can't help but give in. he does have habits and a pretty strict bedtime routine for himself- you're going to have to help him loosen up just a little bit. he can't help but feel his heart melt when he sees you cozied up in pajamas.

he does like to get some schoolwork done before rest because he's a nerd or whatever, but you can at least do your own thing and chat with him while he does. it's mostly you rambling and talking about something stupid the trio did earlier that day with him humming in acknowledgement or him shaking his head with a small smile of amusement.

though he chastises others for staying later than necessary... he will indulge in a few games with you, something like card games, he only knows a few so you may need to explain how some of them work. he mostly sees ace showing others them, but he doesn't play much himself. but riddle loves puzzles the most and he wants to be able to do something together rather than compete each other.

at the end of it once you initiate holding (ya he's the little spoon what about it...) him he's hesitant but turns into a puddle of mush. and please play with his hair, he'd hold onto you tighter. also, you know how once you get sleepy and overtired you open up easily? yeah that's kind what ends up happening. it's a good thing though because that just means he feels safe with you.

azul ashengrotto

hes the one to suggest you staying, during a more tired and overworked state as you came to visit him after mostro lounges hours in his office he turns clingy (i mean more so than usual) and doesn't want to let you go. if you even try to get up when hes holding onto you with his eyes closed he'll hold you tighter.

you only laugh and help each other to get ready for bed. he was curious when he saw any kind of skincare you do, he does that too but he still doesnt know that much with these things in the land. so now there's even more perks to staying over because now you get: azul without glasses and him begrudgingly letting you put a facemask on him. he was weirded out and even found them to be silly look, but boy was he THANKFUL when he felt his skin right after. not to mention he has a newfound love for you putting the skincare on for him, your touch gives him chills, but he wants more.

i bet you his bed is literally the softest thing ever... like you're sleeping well tonight. azul has got the silk sheets and everything. its nice until you feel how naturally cold azul's body is when he touches you and puts his arms around you. he prefers laying in a position where you're facing each other, your faces are practically right in front of one other. azul likes to rub your arm while hes trying to sleep... very soothing and comforting would recommend.

jamil viper

it's actually pretty common for you to decide to spend the night over rather than going all the way back to ramshackle. jamil isn't exactly complaining either he wants all his time with you. it's so pretty to see him with his hair all the way down and of course he wants you to play with it when he's holding you. he enjoys it when you offer to brush it for him.

you two usually play a lot of games with each other, cards, board games or mancala which he enjoys the most with you. he doesn't go easy on you even if it's supposed to be a simple and chill time together because hes a stupid bastard like that. he'll give some airy laugh and say "you probably shouldn't have done that" pointing out how you couldve done better against him.

if you're feeling hungry he'll cook something so good up for the two of you. he doesn't mind whether or not you join in cooking it to or watching him and chatting with him as he whips something that you just know smells heavenly up.

once you two are ready for bed though jamil prefers to hold you against him. he sometimes loves just burying his face into the crook of your neck, he'll kiss you lightly here and there too, its actually very sweet.

ignihyde

oh gosh any sleepover with these two are so fun. there's literally so much to do with them and so much technology to make use of in the dormitory that its insane. but of course, you guys spend A LOT of your time that night playing videogames together. that and idia pulls out his favorite board game and him and ortho are like a beast at those it feels so unfair. don't let those brothers team against you.

you get special privileges with them, so you get access to all of idias candy but you're also going to be eating what his diet consists of for the night- sodas and microwavable meals like ramen, of course.

surprisingly, you’ll end up seeing a more talkative side of idia— I mean he feels comfortable around you and if you bring up any of his interests, he can get really passionate about it.

okay but I totally feel like ortho lowkey has a lot of knowledge and dirt on the students around him. so, if you're want to know anything interesting about your classmates ask him, he doesn't really have any qualms on sharing that to you, he does it with such an innocent smile too as he happily shares the drama.

you and idia would probably pass out some point, watching a movie or playing some videogame, sprawled out on the floor, thankfully you won't have to deal with ignihydes cold hard floors because idia has a whole collection of blankets and pillows to share with you.

#disney twst #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twisted wonderland #twst headcanons #twst imagines #twst wonderland #riddle x reader #azul x reader #jamil x reader #idia x reader #ignihyde

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calaisreno · 5 months

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Yes and No

“Do you love her?”

It had taken them less than thirty minutes to go from the Rizla game to just asking each other random questions. The only celebrities that Sherlock knew were nineteenth-century chemists and twentieth-century criminals, which had more or less spoiled the game, and Sherlock had declared it pointless.

Then he suggested Yes or No, which at least required some deductive reasoning, and John agreed. But Sherlock was very good at this game, having deduced nearly everything about John in the first days of their acquaintance. Without asking any question, he deduced that John would choose violin, a human liver, Mrs Hudson’s nephew, and Sherlock’s old mouse-coloured dressing gown.

John gives up. “Fine. What don’t you know about me?”

Do you love her is a real question, he gathers— from the look on Sherlock’s face, which is serious and a bit sad.

The answer, which should be yes, of course I love her, instead comes out, “I’m marrying her.”

“People marry for reasons other than—“ Sherlock stops, appearing to realise he is going in a direction that can only lead to bad feelings. “Sorry, not a fair question. Better: When did you know that you loved her?”

He remembers grief. The intense pain of the days after he saw Sherlock die on the sidewalk in front of Barts. There are few details he can recall after that moment. It was as if the pain had receded just enough to let him breathe, and a kind of grey fog had descended. Pain, then sorrow.

Somewhere during the sorrow part, Mary had appeared. She may have been there sooner, but he hadn’t noticed. At some point he became aware of her bringing him coffee, talking to him, urging him to come out for lunch. Always there, cheerfully bullying him back into life. Eventually he noticed that he wasn’t quite as sad, and that she was rather pretty.

But the pain was still there, a tender spot in his memory, and most days he still felt defeated. Mary helped, though, and he thought that if she stayed, everything would be easier. He didn’t need to explain; she understood. He could keep the memories at bay when she was around.

By then he was having sex with her. He didn’t remember exactly how that had begun. Maybe it was a pity fuck one night when he’d had too much to drink. He woke up in her bed hungover, waiting for the darkness to descend like a weight on his chest, and she was there, making him a cup of tea, urging him to have some toast, sweetly solicitous and not accepting any excuses.

Does he love her?

Sherlock is still looking at him, the question in his eyes.

“She was there when I needed someone,” he says. “I just knew.”

He’d known that morning that he needed to move on, to leave what had happened in the past and live his life. And there she was.

“Your turn,” Sherlock says.

John thinks of all the things he’s ever wanted to know about Sherlock, but has never asked because it has never seemed a good time. Sherlock has a way of warding off questions with just a look. An armour that does not allow anyone in, not even John. He’s wondered about a lot of things, but asking has never been an option. Sherlock never has to ask; he simply deduces. John is terrible at deductions, as Sherlock often reminds him.

“Have you ever been in love?”

Sherlock doesn’t hesitate. “Yes. Twice.”

“That was a yes-no question, so I get follow-up. So, the first. Who was he?”

Sherlock smiles. “You’re assuming it was a man.”

“Wasn’t it? I thought… you’re… erm…”

“Gay? Yes, I am.”

“You loved a man,” John says. Obviously.

“Well, a boy. I was twelve. I suppose it wasn’t love so much as infatuation and hormones. His name was Victor. I never told him until I met him again at uni.” He gives John one of those looks that makes him feel like he is being x-rayed. “Have you ever kissed a man?”

“I’m not gay,” he says at once. “I mean, why would I kiss a man if I knew I wasn’t gay?”

“Follow-up question, then. When did you know you were not gay?”

John’s mouth may have been open for a bit. It’s an odd question. Everybody knows they’re straight until something happens and they know they’re not. Isn’t that the way it works? “I just knew. When did you know you were gay?”

“When I was twelve. I was at a stupid birthday party my mother made me attend, and we were playing Forfeit. I was asked a question I didn’t like to answer and took the forfeit. Up until then the penalties were stupid things like singing a song or doing a dance, but this time it was kissing a girl. The girl was willing, and I was curious, so I agreed. That was when I realised girls weren’t my cup of tea, so to speak. I wanted to kiss Victor.”

John says nothing, though it’s his turn. He remembers a similar party, a boy who wanted to kiss him, and feeling terrified that his parents would find out if he did. Harry had just come out, and he was trying very hard to make up for all of her shortcomings.

Sherlock asks, “How do you know you’re not gay if you’ve never kissed a man?”

“I’ve kissed lots of women,” he replies. “I don’t need to kiss a man to know I’m not gay.”

Sherlock shrugs. “I assumed that I was like everyone else, that some day I would meet the right girl, get married, and have children. That was how it was supposed to work, and I thought there was something wrong with me because I didn’t like girls that way. All my fantasies were about boys, but I thought I would eventually be attracted to girls as I got older. That kiss told me I would never love a woman.”

“You think I should kiss a man just to see if I’m a bit gay?” He laughs.

“It’s your forfeit, for not having an answer.”

“I’m not going to kiss some random bloke just because you—“

“Not a random bloke. Me. Kiss me.”

This is dangerous ground. Somewhere in his libido lies something that he’s thought about. Maybe he’s even fantasised about kissing a man. Having sex with a man. Just a lark, maybe. Don’t lots of men go through that? It doesn’t mean anything.

But, Sherlock. He lived with him for a year and a half, and they’d been friends. And he grieved when Sherlock died. Not grieved like a friend. He’d lost friends before, and this was nothing like those losses. Pain, darkness, unending regret. Even after Mary, some of that darkness remained. Moments when he remembered something Sherlock had said or done, a stab of pain. If it hadn’t been for Mary—

And it came to him. Mary was balm for his wounds. She brought him back from the edge. He is grateful to her. But gratitude isn’t love. Being in such pain for so long, and then a bit of light— that isn’t love, it’s relief. He’s seen patients in physical pain become almost giddy when given a dose of something that takes their agony away, not even enough to make them high. Relief feels like intoxication when pain has gone on so long.

If it hadn’t been for Mary, he would have understood what he’d only begun to see. She helped him, saved him even. But she was a distraction from the pain, not a cure.

He glances at Sherlock, who is pulling back, looking like he wishes he hadn’t just asked for a kiss. Maybe he’ll make a joke about their game, move them towards goodnight, goodbye, see you at the wedding.

“Yes,” he says. It’s an answer to everything— regret, grief, sorrow, love. It’s an apology for not seeing sooner, for the night at the Landmark, for his anger and cruel rejection of the man he has loved for years. “Kiss me.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Sherlock is right. The kiss tells John things he’s tried hard to forget. It tells him that has loved men before, but called it friendship, that he has wanted to touch men and kiss them, and called it lust, or fantasy, or a phase that all men go through. Women attract him too, and he grabbed onto heterosexuality like a life-raft because he was afraid of the alternative. His sister and his father, yelling. Harry thrown out of the house. His father, looking at him, saying not you too. Never you, my boy.

The kiss tells him that has already met the love of his life.

“I need to call Mary,” he says when they break away.

Sherlock looks sad. He nods. “Of course.”

“One more question,” John says. “Who was the second person you loved?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does,” he says. “I’m about to call my fiancee and break our engagement just days before the wedding because I’m in love with my best friend. So please, answer the question.”

Sherlock’s face does something John has never seen. It crumples and tears fill his eyes, and then he’s laughing and crying and not able to speak.

John kisses him again.

Author note: This is an old ficlet, from Trifles, posted here.

#my fics #johnlock #bbc sherlock #stag night #sign of three #fixit fic

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