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#which is even more apparent with how far ahead most parts in our system see
system-of-a-feather · 2 years
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Today I was invited to the table of the game of life. Everyone here is playing their cards, some are playing Magic, others Pokemon, some Yugioh, some playing cards, and even one guy over there has been playing Baseball cards I think, but as absurd as this game looks, they all appear to be building to a greater image.
The call me to the table to add to the game.
I walk up and pull out my deck of one, singular Skip Uno card. I sit down and shout Uno and play my Skip Uno card. I have won.
The table looks at me - paused in bafflement; a silent stare of bewilderment
They tell me that is not how this game of life works. We each create combos, chains, strategies and skills and build this massive play to form a much greater game.
They tell me that there isn't any winning in this game of life; they tell me that I need to bring more cards to the table, draw some more and join in on creating chained webs and supportive suggestions.
I tell them this is all that I have, there is nothing more to how my plays work other than this singular Skip Uno Card. I play Uno, the only function of Uno is to remove your cards. There is a limited amount of chain and skillful strategy that can be played in the traditional game of Uno; even less when your entire deck is empty and all you have is a singular card.
We have an issue. My game doesn't work at this table. We are incompatible, my deck simply doesn't work with the nature of this collaborative game.
I turn to the ref, solutions my good man. I can't fix my deck, I can't generate new cards. I can't make a play other than Skip Uno, what can anyone ask of me.
The ref checks the book, he checks the rules; he looks up and with a quizzical suggestion, asks if I could ask for someone else's cards
I say no, I don't have a card for that, all I have is a single Skip Uno Card. I do not have a Draw 4 or Draw 2. I only have Skip Uno.
He looks at me. He turns to the other players. He whispers in their ears as they chatter among one another. They each pull from their decks, donating one card each and collecting them into a stack.
They hand me the deck. In it, a Preordain, a holographic Charizard, a single piece of Exodia, a four of spades, and Babe Ruth. These cards now sit around my single Skip Uno card.
I turn to the ref, raising an eyebrow at this strange deck built before me; uncertain if this solution would work, if these cards could even possibly be played at this table.
Even so, new options have been placed in my hand. The bizarre game resumes. I play the four of spades.
The turn roles by.
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hairstevington · 1 year
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i can't tune you out (part 3)
Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley x Chrissy Cunningham
Summary: Eddie and Chrissy become friends. Robin and Chrissy bond. Eddie and Steve strike a deal.
(part 1, part 2)
Word Count: 4.8K (it's a long one!)
Warnings: Rockstar!Eddie/Musician!Steve, modern day AU, enemies to lovers STILL very much enemies sorry I love a slow burn, Chrissy x Comphet, allusions to Chrissy having body issues, Hellcheer being wholesome, angst upon angst baybeeee, this chapter is very fun just bear with the boys absolutely despising each other lmao
A/N: Hello friends! From here on out, this fic will only be posted to my Ao3. If you're digging the story so far, go ahead and follow along here! To those that don't have accounts, I might be able to finesse some sort of system where I let you guys know when I've updated. Also, for those in need of Soft Steddie (tm), more "Flowers and Ink" is coming soon! Love y'all <3
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Eddie got to the bar before Chrissy did, but he kind of preferred it that way. It gave him a chance to sit down, order a drink, and settle into the environment before being thrust into more chaos. 
Sometimes, even though he thrived in insanity, he needed a moment to breathe. Not that he’d ever admit that out loud, of course. 
“Hey, stranger!” Chrissy’s voice rang from behind him. He spun around and was surprised when she threw her arms around him, pulling him into a hug. He’d thought that she’d been extra sweet and friendly the night before because of the alcohol, but apparently that was just her vibe. It was actually really nice. 
“H-hi, Chrissy,” Eddie replied, hugging her back. She pulled away after one last squeeze, then plopped herself beside him. “How’s it going?”
“Pretty good,” she answered. “I was up all night, so I slept most of the day. Now, I’ll probably be up all night again. Such is life.”
“Been there,” Eddie replied, taking a sip of his drink. 
“Can I get a vodka soda and two shots of tequila, please?” Chrissy asked the bartender.  
“Tequila?” Eddie asked, attempting to hide the disgust on his face. He hadn’t touched the stuff in years, after one fateful night involving a playground. Helpful tip - being drunk on a swing set is not the move.
“Tequila,” Chrissy confirmed with a smirk. “I’m invested now, and considering this is our first of potentially many drinks together, I figured we should start off with a bang.”
Eddie stared at her, blankly. She wanted to see him again after this? But he hadn’t even really done anything!
“Why are you so invested in this?” Eddie asked. 
“I dunno,” Chrissy replied with a shrug. The bartender put the vodka soda down in front of her, and she started mixing it around with the thin plastic straw. “I guess I’m just kinda…bored?”
“Bored?” Eddie repeated. “How could you be bored when you’re doing all the shit you do? Going to parties and photoshoots and - I mean, you barely know me.”
“My life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be,” she responded. There was a flicker of sadness in her eyes, but it left as quickly as it had come. Chrissy sipped her drink, then thanked the bartender as she set the shots down. “Come on, let’s commemorate this!” 
She took out her phone and gestured for Eddie to hold his drink up so they could take a picture. He was blown away by the whole thing, honestly. He almost texted Carla just to be like - can you believe this shit? 
It all seemed too easy. She was too open to being his friend, and he didn’t know why. He’d worked hard and all that, but he didn’t feel like he was decent enough of a person to get any sort of karmic reward. So this all felt a little suspicious, but he tried to enjoy it anyway. 
They did the shot. At least Chrissy had sprung for the high-quality liquor. It was still kinda nasty. 
“How was the rest of the party?” he asked. 
“Good,” Chrissy responded with a tight-lipped smile. She didn’t add any details, which was odd, but she spoke again before Eddie could ask any follow-up questions. “So, what’s the deal with you? People say you’re dating Steve, but you didn’t even know what he looked like last night, soooo…”
Alright, here we go.
“Yeah, well,” Eddie began. “I’m not dating him, clearly.” No sense in lying to Chrissy when she already knew. 
“But you want to?” Chrissy asked. Eddie shrugged. He would have flat out told her the truth, but he was hesitant to give everything away immediately. Steve was the one with the power, and Eddie hated that. “Do I need to order us another shot?”
“Please, no,” Eddie shot back instantly. When Chrissy laughed, he realized she’d been joking. “Sorry, it’s just -”
“It’s okay,” Chrissy assured him. “Talking to people in this business is hard. You never know who you can trust. I used to be a lot more open, and then you kinda just learn that you…can’t be, most of the time.”
Eddie furrowed his brow, wondering what exactly Chrissy felt she couldn’t tell people. Even moreso, he wanted to know who had broken her trust in the past. Then, he felt a pang of guilt, since he’d been mostly excited about this drink because it would boost his fame. Everything about all of this was corrupt and morally ambiguous. He sighed. 
“I’m just trying to make it out there,” Eddie admitted. “And I - I mean, I don’t know what to do, or how anything works.”
“Yeah, I remember what that’s like,” she empathized. She took a sip of her vodka soda, then turned back to Eddie. “Do you ever feel like -? I mean, do you ever feel like you’re losing your mind?”
“Uhhh, just on a daily basis,” Eddie replied. He and Chrissy smiled at each other, and he could feel her authenticity. Maybe it was stupid for him to open up to her, but he was going to do it anyway. “Chrissy, have you ever, uh - like, have you ever done one of those PR relationships?”
“Oh, yeah,” she replied, unfazed. “I can’t really say anything, but yeah. It happens a lot around here.” Eddie nodded, then sipped his drink. “Wait, are you trying to do that with me?”
“Not quite,” Eddie mumbled, his lips pressed to his glass.
“I thought you were gay,” she continued. 
“I am.”
“Oh, okay.” She thought about it for a moment, then her eyes widened. “Oh.” 
“Yeah.”
“Oh,” she repeated. “Ohhhh!”
“Got any other letters?” Eddie teased. Chrissy giggled, then shoved him playfully. 
“You’re funny,” she said. Eddie wasn’t used to people enjoying his often wicked sense of humor. This was refreshing. “So, who’s idea was it?”
“My manager, I guess,” Eddie answered. “Well, she told me to use what the fans were saying and to meet up with the guy. But it, uh - it didn’t go well.”
“No?” she asked, surprised. “What happened?”
Eddie wanted to keep talking to Chrissy. He didn’t care that she was famous anymore - he wanted her perspective as someone who’d been through it. He also knew that Chrissy could tear him down just as quickly as she could build him up. 
“Did you mean what you said about us getting drinks more often?” he asked. 
“Yeah!” she replied, smiling brightly. “Like I said, you’re funny. And I - hmm. Okay, um. This next part might sound really bad at first, but I can explain.”
“Okay…” Eddie said, feeling his walls come back up. 
“I don’t really have a lot of male friends,” Chrissy admitted. “It always feels like - like they’re just waiting for their chance to strike.”
“Like, try to sleep with you?” Eddie asked. Chrissy nodded. “Oh. Christ, that sucks.” 
“Yeah,” she replied with a half shrug. 
He skipped the part where he doubted whether or not what she was saying was true, because it was clearly affecting her whether it was true or not. Eddie also had an urge to diffuse the tension with a joke, because that was kind of his thing.
“Chrissy Cunningham,” he stated, “- are you trying to make me your gay best friend?” She bit her lip, fighting a guilty smile. “Cuz like, I’m down, but I’ve never really done this before so I don’t know what the role entails.” She stopped fighting the smile, so Eddie continued. “I mean, is there a rulebook out there? I think there’s a movie about this on Netflix. Should I watch that first?”
“Eddie!” She interrupted, fully laughing now. Eddie joined her, feeling accomplished that he’d lightened the mood and set her at ease again. “I’m in the modeling industry, I’m surrounded by gay men all the time. It’s not just about that, I promise.”
“Okay, then what is it?” Eddie wondered. She sighed, her body much more relaxed than it had been before.
“It’s just that everybody I’m around talks about their looks all the time. I mean, it’s our job to be beautiful, I know that, but it’s tiring to just constantly hear about new diets and calories and what I should and should not eat. It’s just - it’s nice to get away from that, sometimes. You’re nothing like them, and I like that.”
“Nothing like them, huh?” Eddie smirked. “Are you saying I’m not beautiful?” She laughed and shook her head. 
“Okay fine, you have one thing in common,” she teased back. “You’re not mad?”
“Nah,” Eddie said, shaking his head. “But while we’re coming clean, I definitely was excited to come here because I hoped I’d get more followers if we hung out.”
“Well, obviously,” Chrissy responded, flipping her hair. “Okay, so that’s out of the way. Can we stick together, then?”
She asked it so sweetly it made his heart ache. 
“Yeah, ‘course,” he replied. He thought back to what Chrissy had said earlier about her model friends and decided to commit to being the opposite. “So, uh, I dunno about you but I could really go for some fries right now.” 
Chrissy’s eyes widened. 
“I’d kill for some fries right now.”  
“Great,” he said, grinning. “Who are we killing?” They laughed together, and then he got the bartender’s attention so he could order.
-
“For the record, I’m not doing this for you.”
It took Robin less than two seconds to agree to going to the bar with Steve. Now, they were walking down the street so that they could spy on two people they barely knew but were somehow entangled with. 
“I know, I know,” Steve replied. 
The bar was in sight. Chrissy hadn’t tagged the location or anything, but he recognized the place because he went there often. So often that it wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to show up with Robin. They’d done it before and they’d do it again. 
The plan was for them to discreetly sit at a table in the back. But then they were at the door, and then they were opening the door, and then they were immediately being stared down by a blonde and a brunette at the bar. 
Shit. 
“Steve, what do we do?” Robin muttered rapidly. 
“Uhhh,” he said, glancing over at the table he imagined they’d sit at. He thought about ignoring them and just sitting down, but they’d all already seen each other so that would have just been rude. “I think we just have to own it.”
“Own what? That we’re psychopaths?” Robin hissed. 
And then, Chrissy was waving them both over to join them.
“Just follow my lead,” Steve said. 
In hindsight, this plan had been really, really stupid. 
Steve knew that his cover for all this was to get Robin and Chrissy in the same room again. But truthfully, Steve didn’t know Chrissy’s deal or if she wanted anything other than friendship. Steve could say this had nothing to do with Eddie all he wanted, but that wasn’t true. 
He’d been wracking his brain all day to make sense of this. His fight with Eddie the night prior had been a little fuzzy, but one part of it really stuck with him. 
Just a few years of King Steve bullying the school freak.
Well, that comment plus Eddie saying that Steve’s music sucked. That stung, but he wasn’t expecting someone like Eddie to appreciate his music anyway. The truth was, Steve had left high school behind, and he’d moved on, and he’d forgotten the shit he’d done back then. All that bystander crap, the teasing, the little comments that Steve didn’t understand the impact of at the time. 
Steve didn’t like Eddie. He still thought Eddie was a dick. But that didn’t mean Steve hadn’t also been a dick back then. 
All of this was very complicated, and the residual headache from the hangover made his head spin. Actually, the dizziness was probably also from the hangover. The thought of drinking made him want to hurl. Good thing he was at a bar, right?
“Hey!” Chrissy said as they approached. “What are you guys doing here?!” She jumped up to hug Steve, then Robin, and Steve watched as his friend acted as if the physical contact with her crush didn’t affect her. 
“We, uh -” Steve began. “We come here a lot, actually. Well, I do. I live just down the road.” 
His gaze drifted to Eddie, who gave Steve a knowing smirk. 
“Oh my god, Robin, I’m actually so glad you’re here,” Chrissy said. “Your style is just - I mean, wow! Where do you get your clothes?”
Robin’s eyes landed on Steve’s for a nanosecond, but it was enough for him to know exactly what was going through her brain. Basically just the embodiment of a bunch of exclamation points. 
“I - I usually thrift them, actually!” Robin responded. 
Then, Chrissy continued asking where Robin thrifted, and whether she could come with sometime, and Steve figured they’d be at it for a while. 
Huh. Maybe there would be something there after all.
Of course, while they were talking, this left Steve to either stand there awkwardly or interact with Eddie. He probably would have chosen the awkward standing, had Eddie not chosen the opposite. 
“Well, if it isn’t HARVEST in the flesh. To what do I owe the pleasure?” Eddie began. He was smiling, but his tone was biting. Steve looked at Eddie, nodded his head toward Chrissy and Robin, then looked back at Eddie. He shrugged. “Ah, I see.”
“Yeah.”
“No other reason?” Eddie prodded, playing dumb.
“Nope,” Steve said. “Like I said, I live right -”
“Down the road,” Eddie interrupted. “So I heard.” Steve swallowed. He kinda felt like he was being interrogated or something. Eddie was making this extremely uncomfortable. 
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Steve wondered, desperately wanting this interaction to be over. Unfortunately, Chrissy and Robin were still chatting eagerly. 
“Like what, HARVEST?” Eddie asked. Steve rolled his eyes. 
“Steve is fine.”
“Hmm, is he though?” Eddie retorted. “I don’t think you want me to treat you like I treat Steve.”
God, Eddie knew how to push Steve’s buttons. His heart was racing, he was so mad. He clenched his jaw and considered how bad it would be to smack the smug grin off Eddie’s face.
Really bad. He knew that. He took deep breaths instead and relaxed. His hands had balled into fists at some point during the conversation. He extended his fingers out, flexing them. He was trying to leave this version of himself in the past, not bring him back. Another deep breath. 
“Whatever, Munson,” Steve sighed. “I just -”
“Hey, guys?” Robin said, diverting the attention to her. She pointed to the window, where a crowd of people had gathered. 
Some of them had cameras. 
“Shit,” Chrissy said. “How long do you think they’ve been there?”
“I dunno,” Steve responded. “You wanna get out of here?”
“Yeah,” Chrissy agreed. Eddie and Robin looked at each other this time, both outside of Chrissy and Steve’s shared understanding. 
Good thing all of them looked nice. Those pictures were gonna be all over the place tomorrow. 
Steve was here a lot, so he knew the bartenders and the owners, and he also knew how to sneak out when things like this happened. 
“Come on,” he said, urging Chrissy to follow him. With Steve came Robin, and Eddie sure as hell didn’t want to be left there alone, so he came too. Oh, joy. 
The four of them walked past the bar and through a sign marked for employees only. They wandered through the kitchen and left out a black door that led to an alley behind the building. 
“So, what now?” Robin asked once they were outside. 
“I’ll give them about two minutes until they find us,” Steve replied. 
“Is there somewhere else we could go?” Chrissy wondered. “I kind of don’t want to go home yet.”
“Well, I know HARVEST over here lives nearby,” Eddie said. 
“Will you quit it with the HARVEST thing?” Steve complained. 
“Sorry, do you prefer Harvey?” Eddie shot back. Steve groaned. 
“You’re impossible.”
“Oh, boy,” Chrissy mumbled. 
“I know, right?” Robin agreed. “Steve, can we go back to yours?”
“All of us?” Steve asked, knowing the answer already. It was his apartment. He could have flat out said that Eddie wasn’t allowed in. But he saw the look in Robin’s eyes, and he knew that if they all went back to the apartment, she could spend more time with Chrissy. “Alright, fine. Let’s go.”
-
Steve’s apartment was nice. It was huge, spacious, and all the utilities worked. It was also minimalist in that Steve hadn’t put up any decorations. He had the essentials - a couch, a TV, a table. Not much more. 
“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting to have people over,” Steve said as they walked in. 
“It’s beautiful,” Chrissy said. 
“It’s empty,” Eddie noted. His apartment was a lot smaller, but it also was a lot more filled up. This place had nothing, basically. Eddie almost made a comment about Steve not having any money to decorate after paying what he assumed was an absurd rent, but he held his tongue. 
“Yeah, tell me about it,” Robin agreed. “I keep throwing ideas his way, but he’d rather live in an asylum, basically.”
“I’m not here that often,” Steve explained, shrugging. “Sue me.”
“It definitely could use some color,” Chrissy agreed. “Art on the walls, maybe a rug -”
“Yes! Exactly!” Robin exclaimed. “I even have a Pinterest board.”
“Oh my god, can I see it?” Chrissy asked. Robin nodded, and then they were both sitting across the room looking at decor or some shit. All of the logistical stuff related to interior design was beyond Eddie. He just bought things that he liked and then put them where they best fit. He didn’t know anything about color-coding, and he didn’t even know what Pinterest was. 
Anyway, Robin and Chrissy bonding so aggressively and so immediately (which was interesting, to say the least) left Eddie semi-alone with Steve once again. 
“Can we talk?” Steve asked, surprising the hell out of Eddie. He had given Steve zero reason to want to talk to him, he’d made sure of it. Like, Eddie had been at his maximum asshole level for a few reasons. First and foremost, it was payback for high school. Second, it was fun. And third, because Eddie didn’t like Steve, and because he currently didn’t have anywhere else to direct his anger. 
He didn’t say they were good reasons. 
“Uh, suuuuure,” Eddie replied. Steve gestured for Eddie to follow him down the hall so they could have some privacy. 
Oh, great. Now we’re fully alone.
-
Chrissy was amazing. She was wonderful. She was everything Robin hoped she’d be. It was almost too good to be true. No, it was definitely too good to be true. 
They were huddled over Robin’s phone, talking about color theory and decorations which turned into art and hobbies which turned into a discussion about college (Robin went, Chrissy didn’t) and then finally their conversation settled on music. 
“Have you listened to their stuff?” Robin asked, gesturing towards where the boys had gone. It had been a few minutes and no arguing or fights breaking out yet, as far as she could tell. Of course, she hadn’t been listening that intently. 
“Sure,” Chrissy responded. “Corroded Coffin not so much, but that’s just because I’m not into that sort of music.”
“Very fair.”
“Yeah. But HARVEST I hear all the time. That one song is literally impossible to escape from.”
“Oh, we know,” Robin replied with a laugh. “Steve secretly can’t stand it’s that song that blew up.”
“What do you mean?” Chrissy wondered. 
“Like, it’s definitely his most commercial song,” Robin explained. “I’ve been listening to Steve’s music since we met, and it’s a little out there sometimes, but now that I’m used to it I’m all for it. Anyway, his favorite songs are the ones most people haven’t heard. That’s why his new album is - I mean that’s why he -” 
Robin stopped herself from saying the rest. Chrissy was great, but Robin wasn’t about to spill all of her best friend’s secrets.
“That’s why he what?” Chrissy teased, nudging Robin in the shoulder. 
Dammit. It was really hard to avoid temptation when temptation was someone as vibrant as Chrissy Cunningham. 
“That’s why he’s so excited about it,” Robin concluded. 
Thank god. I can keep my best friend card.
“Oh, okay,” Chrissy said, nodding. “I’ll have to listen to his other stuff then.”
“Let me know what you think,” Robin replied. 
“Of course I will.” Chrissy smiled, then pulled out her phone. To Robin’s surprise, she handed it to her with an empty contact open. 
Holy shit.
Robin typed in her name and number, then triple checked to make sure she put it in correctly before handing the phone back to Chrissy.
“There you go,” she said, doing her best to remain calm. 
“Thank you,” Chrissy said. “Wow, it’s so crazy. First with Eddie, now with you. I just feel like we’re all going to be really good friends.”
Friends. GOD. Ouch. 
Robin probably should have expected that. She had expected it, really, but it stung nonetheless. That was okay. They could be friends. Robin cleared her throat and hoped she didn’t sound too disappointed. 
“Yeah, if the two idiots in there can get their shit together,” Robin joked. 
“I know!” Chrissy agreed. “Like, what’s going on with them?”
“I honestly have no idea.” She looked down the hall, still not hearing any arguing.
If she’d been alone, she would have pressed her ear to the door and listened in, but she had to be on her best behavior. You know, for her new friend.
-
“Sooo, what the hell is going on?” Eddie asked once they were in a different room. It looked like an office. There was music equipment everywhere. 
“I’m just gonna go ahead and tell you a bunch of shit, okay? Because the last hour or so has been crazy and I’m still kind of hungover and I’m not interested in doing a whole dance with you.”
“Yeah, you made that clear last night when you didn’t dance with me,” Eddie deadpanned. 
“Jesus,” Steve exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Could you just -”
“You wanna tell me something, so skip the preamble and tell me -” 
“I’m sorry, okay?” Steve snapped. “I’m sorry for - I’m sorry about high school. I was an idiot.”
Oh. Well, shit. 
“Past tense?” Eddie teased. 
“Go to hell.”
“Okay, okay, point taken,” he relented with a light chuckle. “Thanks. I appreciate the apology.”
“Really?” 
“Yeah, really,” Eddie confirmed. “Don’t worry, I’m still iffy about you for a bunch of other reasons.”
“Great,” Steve said, returning Eddie’s sarcastic tone. 
“Cool,” Eddie replied. “So, is that it?”
“No.”
“No?” Eddie prodded. 
“Wait, what are the other reasons?” Steve asked, losing his train of thought. Eddie scoffed. 
“You want me to tell you why I don’t like you?” Eddie rebuffed. “Are you into that or something?”
“No, I just -”
“Come on, spit it out,” he demanded. “The quicker you say what you’re gonna say, the less time we have to talk to each other. What is it?”
Steve took a deep breath. 
“I want my album to do well, and ever since this whole steddie thing happened, people have actually started talking about it, and -”
“Waaaait a goddamn second,” Eddie drawled. “Are you saying you want to actually, like, do the fake relationship thing?”
“No, I just don’t want to deny it,” Steve responded. “Let them talk, you know.”
Eddie almost laughed. Jesus Christ, this was rich. Eddie thought he’d be the one begging for scraps, yet here he was, in Steve’s apartment, listening to his high school bully ask him for a favor. 
Eddie weighed his options. If he said no, it would feel great in the moment, but then this would be over. 
The tables were turning, and he wasn’t going to let a bit of his power go to waste.
“Hmm, very interesting, Harvey,” he said. “The King’s come crawling back to the freak.” Steve scoffed. 
“Our fake relationship benefits you more than me, you do realize that, right?” he reminded Eddie. “I’m just fine on my own. You get a popularity boost from this, so maybe you should try not to be a total asshole for once. I could find literally anyone else to do this with.”
The thing was, Eddie knew that wasn’t true. He could see right through the bullshit. 
“You’re bluffing,” Eddie stated. 
“What?”
“You’re bluffing,” he repeated. “Lest we forget you’re the one who asked me to go along with this.” Steve rolled his eyes.
“Ugh, ‘lest we forget.’ Why do you talk like that?” 
“You’re avoiding the question,” Edde said, his eyes boring into Steve’s. 
“What question?”
“Come on, Harrington. You want me. Why?”
Steve’s eyes narrowed, but didn’t break away. 
“Okay, calm down with the whole ‘I want you’ thing, alright?” Steve’s agitation was just too cute. It was so easy to rile him up. “I’m doing this for my album, just like you are.”
“Yeaaah, I don’t buy it. What else is it?” Eddie couldn’t help it. He had to keep pushing. 
“There’s nothing else, Eddie.”
“Don’t tell me, then,” he teased. “Let me guess. All those years ago when you laughed at me in high school, you were really just harboring some hidden crush on me that didn’t fully come to fruition until you saw me at Frolique?”
Steve’s face went pale, and for a moment Eddie wondered if he’d gone too far.
“Oh my god,” Steve scoffed. “Could you not be a jackass for literally one second?”
“Wait, was I right?” Eddie took a step forward, intrigued by the idea. 
“No, you weren’t right, Munson,” Steve insisted. “I didn’t have a crush on you, I was just a dick.”
Ah. So much for that. Eddie shook his head and smiled. 
“And now you’re just so goddamn pleasant, huh?” He turned to look at all the expensive shit Steve kept in there - high-tech recording equipment, instruments, microphones, sheet music. 
“Usually, yeah,” Steve replied. “I’m actually nice to most people.” Eddie’s eyes were still focused on the sheet music, an increasing curiosity within him, but he held back and returned his focus to Steve.
“Aw, so I’m the exception? See, I knew I was special.”
If being a dick was so bad, then why was it so fun?
“Seriously, what’s wrong with you?” Steve asked.
“Oh god, sooooo many things,” Eddie replied. He meant it, too. He knew he had issues, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to talk to Steve about them. “And for the record, I can be pleasant too. Just ask Chrissy.”
“When did you get so close with her, anyway?”
“Since about an hour ago,” Eddie answered. “Anyway, I’m an absolute delight, Harrington. I only bite when it’s fun.”
“Then you must be having the time of your goddamn life,” Steve remarked. 
It wasn’t not true, but once again, Eddie needed to be unpredictable. He just had this compulsive need to throw Steve off, to keep him guessing. Yeah, being an asshole to Steve Harrington was fun, but Eddie didn’t forget how much he hated the guy and everything he stood for. 
“God, I wish,” he replied. “I hate this, but I’ll have fun when I can. I mean, my career is important, too. Why do you think I made a big fool of myself at that party? I fucking danced in public so that I could talk to you. I already told you - I don’t like your music, or your weird persona, and I don’t really care for you off-stage either.”
“Yeah? Well, the feeling is mutual,” Steve shot back. 
Eddie smirked, a fire within him that somehow bloomed and burned at the same time. Matter is neither created nor destroyed right? Eddie was never that good in school, but that phrase always stuck with him. The fire - the anger, the pain, the hurt - it fueled him and it broke him down. An endless cycle. What he loved. What he didn’t. All of it was the same.
“Let me be fucking clear,” Eddie said. “I’m not doing this because it’s fun. I’m doing it because I get something out of it, got it?”
“Got it,” Steve replied. The air between them was tense, and it made Eddie feel alive. 
“Okay,” he said at last. “Then we’ll let them talk.”
----------------------------------
@paintballkid711 @abraca-fxckyou @allbimyself26 @jellybabiesforall @allbymyselfexceptformycactus @justaloadofgarbage-blog @alliemunsonsstuff @undreamingnscatworld @hobbitnarwhal @calivanus @wreckmyplans-thatsmyman @antheia @goodolefashionedloverboi @lillemilly @missmagillicuddy @steviesbicrisis @gamerdano @menamesniall eyeslikewildflowers111 @callmesirkay @stringischeese @eds-trashmouth @mnl-enuh @redfreckledwolf @itsanarrum @soulsofstarsliveinyourveins @gregre369 @stevesbipanic @momotonescreaming @aryakanojiaa @wrenisflying @comicmadlover @lilacrobin @itch-my-b0nez @anonymousbandgirl @disastardly @dangdirtydemons @daisyellsong @val-from-lawrence @starryeyedpoet17 @taikawaiteatea @clumsiluni @hollysimone @swimmingbirdrunningrock @witchofhawkins @steddiegarbage @suddenlyinlove @ricekristytreaty @eddielives1986
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plutoswrath · 2 years
Note
Please post your opinion on what black moon Lilith represents in charts of men, women and nonbinary
Hello! Long post ahead!! Please read through everything or else it won’t make sense lol
The post about lilith I’m currently still editing does touch on gender and astrology. I think I’ve said this before but I want to make one thing clear, as someone who’s also into sociology:
Gender and astrology is only relevant because we live in a society that revolves around gender performance. It’s also a binary idea of gender. Man and woman; and both are represented and constructed as differences. This is the norm society created in order for it (and it many other social harmful systems) to work. Being a man equals to different behavior, ideas and attitudes. Same with being a woman. That’s why men and women are usually raised and socialized very differently. And that’s why we can see differences in the manifestations of certain energies BUT NOT because the stars are gendered! I want people to let go of this weird idea of bioessentialism that apparently is inherent in the stars. Gender as it is now understood in western culture (because I grew up in a northern part of Europe, this is the culture I’m most familiar with) is a social construct that serves a primary oppressive system and purpose.
That means that the different manifestations we see in men and women in astrology is due to gendered performance. We have to go with lots of nuance into these conversations, even though I want to break them down as easily as possible for everyone to understand.
People that are non-binar fall out of this heteronormative system by definition, but there’s more to it. These people still grew up in a binary system, which can lead to internalized believes about gender and sex that are hard to unlearn even though you are not cis. Gender and gender performance is also tight to race, you can also talk about class here and how these two categories alone can alter your whole perception and experience about gender performance. This intersectional approach is very important to keep in mind, even though I do want to generalize the certain aspects that people that fall into a specific section have in common.
For example, I’m not cis either, but I know, that politically I am a woman; I do feel strongly about my experience with womanhood and know that I’m not only read as a woman but have been socialized that way my whole life, even though my experience has been different to those who identify as cis. So I do think that people who are not cis fall out of the scheme and definition of certain astrological placements/energies.
Also; astrology so far is very whitewashed and extremely heteronormativity gendered (which in itself goes hand in hand with whiteness)
There’s a lack of representation when it comes to astrologers that don’t fall into the heteronormative and to see their approach and definition of the astrological practice.
Therefore I am also wondering what happens to our practice of astrology when we‘ll finally strip it from those harmful ideologies. I remember writing about the sign cancer and how it is so weirdly infantilized..that cancer women are happy as long as they have a home and a man by her side…..that’s not cancer, that’s a cancerian woman that operates as best as it can in a system that tells women that they should be with a man and become a housewife. And now I wonder, what is truly the essence of cancer if you strip away the heteronormative idea of a cishet marriage?? It’s not about dissing marriage and cishet people, but about the idea that these ideas are inherent to the energies of an astrological placement.
ANYWAYS BACK TO LILITH
We have lilith and we know what her themes are. Now we only have to set it in context and that context will look very different for everyone else. I just know and observed that lilith in hetero relationships, or at least were those dynamics are vividly present and (subconsciously) lived out, the themes often stay the same between the man and the women; if he hasn’t reflected on and works on his misogyny there’ll be a strong and often unpleasant power dynamic between the two.
Lilith is INHERENTLY very political in that sense because the story is about the power dichotomy between two people that were meant to be equal and then ended in the separation between women and man due to her own free will. And I’m not trying to girlboss lilith because our lilith can want things that are bad and makes us act out in ways that can definitely be harmful. I’m just trying to say that Lilith talks about power dynamics. Us in relation to the world/society. And we dissect ourselves in relation to what we want and are and what we shouldn’t be and crave. It’s again talking about the raw and honest nature of desire and our inner nature and how it relates to others/society.
And again the story of lilith is not historical, it’s religious so it is inherently a metaphor. This story can be read and interpreted in many ways. But I try to identify Lilith’s story with what I see in real life and make my sense out of it. And from what I’ve seen lilith always reduces itself to the political and private self (which are ultimately interchangeable) in conflict to each other or others. So there’s that.
This theme can be true for everyone, no matter what you identify as. For example I see lilith playing out as power plays in hetero relationships often but I do wonder if it’s at least somehow different if the man is aware of his own misogyny. And ofc what happens to the woman if she isn’t aware of her own misogyny.
I guess everyone who isn’t socially and politically active doesn’t like my take buy this is the type of astrology I practice.
Edit; I’m rereading this currently and realize that I haven’t touched on the way lilith can show up between two women. It can be incredibly uplifting because she is seeing in the other what everyone denied her of and honors her power and wisdom. It can be very freeing to be together and familiarity and power can be found in shared suffering. But ofc one or both can be triggered by their internalized misogyny as well. Fully in lilith nature it is polarizing, either incredibly freeing and nice or painful.
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i-am-distressed · 3 years
Text
RIDE ALONG: Part 1
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Prologue-Part 2
Warnings: none
You thanked the officer that held the door open for you, nodding to one you recognized as ‘Nanami’ as you made your way to your destination, Captain Yaga’s office. When you committed the misdemeanor, you were 3 days away from starting your first day as a rookie for the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department. When you punched your ex, a few of the higher ups deemed your actions as ‘inappropriate’ and ‘out of line’, and they put your admission into the unit on ‘pause’ while they figured out what to do with you, but they weren’t the ones who decided what would happen to you.
It was the man who would hopefully be your new boss, Masamichi Yaga. The Chief, who apparently trained Yaga first hand, decided whatever he decides will be best, so this is your one shot to get this right. The other new recruits were starting today, so they put you on a ‘3 day probation to think about what you did’. You walked up the flight of stairs, letting your eyes wander as you did. The station was in nice condition. It had been remodeled a few years ago, so it was really sleek and new looking. It had an open concept layout, and most every room had plenty of windows in it, keeping the station open and light. It was much different from the 30+ year old academy you had spent that past 5 months training in, where every time you stepped into daylight your eyes spent a good 5 minutes adjusting to seeing an adequate amount of light. Already, this was a promising change, you just needed to not screw this up any worse than you already did.
You got to the top of the stairs and proceeded down the hallway the dispatcher you ran into had directed you to, Miwa? She was nice, much better than the other 2 girls who were sitting at their desks throwing balled up pieces of paper into a far off trash can. Walking down the hallway you found the second floor was much more closed off and professional than the first. It had more closed doors and private offices, not surprising since you saw a few doors with ‘Sergeant’ and ‘Lieutenant’ on them. You got to the end and stopped when you found the door that had ‘Captain Masamichi Yaga’.
You stopped taking a deep breath before you squared your shoulders and knocked. Just before you did, you heard the captain talking to someone, you didn’t recognize the voice, but it was clear it belonged to a man. “Come in.” You turned the knob before stepping in the door. “Go ahead and close the door, please have a seat.” Yaga motioned over to the second chair he had sitting in front of his desk, diagonal to the chair the unknown man was sitting in. You nodded as you closed the door, making your way to sit in the chair, keeping a professional posture and a steadfast expression.
“I don’t believe either of you have met before, no?” You looked over at the man. He had pinkish hair with a dark undercut, his eyes were dark red and sharp, even with how lazy his gaze seemed, it was intense. You could feel his eyes wandering you, not in a creepy perverted way, but in a scrutinizing judging way. And to be honest, you couldn’t tell which one would tick you off more. Beyond having hair that was definitely too long to be within regulation, he was also covered in tattoos. Maybe he was a C.I? “Never seen her in my life, can I go?”
Your eyebrow raised as you turned back to look at the captain, who had an almost visible tick mark appearing on his forehead. “No.” Sighing the man leaned back in the chair, crossing his notably muscular arms over his chest. You couldn’t tell since he was sitting down, but you guessed he was in the 6’0 range, probably taller. He was very fit, that much was for sure. And he definitely was no professional, that much was also for sure. Whereas you came in wearing a very nicely fitting pair of slacks and a silk button up, he came in wearing a tight white t-shirt and dark wash jeans, he was wearing what looked like a black flannel over his shirt, it being left open and the sleeves rolled up. It definitely didn’t meet the uniform standards, but it didn’t exactly look bad either.
Yaga cleared his throat and you directed your attention back to him. “I’m sure you’re aware of the possible consequences of your actions, yes? Your record shows good grades, good conduct, and overall a spotless record. Nevertheless, what you did could get you in serious trouble a few years down the line, you’re lucky he didn’t decide to press any charges. I should tell you to go find another career, since it’s clear you don’t process emotions well.” You looked down at that, your arms had crossed over your chest and you held your tongue, he had a point.
“But, My wife happened to be there, and when I confided in her on what to do about the situation, she told me if I treasure my marriage I should show you some mercy. Our daughter was cheated on, so I can’t say I hate what you did. In light of that, a punishment is still in order,” He paused to lean on his elbows, gaze serious, and honestly intimidating as he stayed quiet for a moment.
"For the next 3 months, You, Y/n L/n will be doing a sort of probationary trial with this man sitting in front of me." The man's head shot up, his crimson eyes wide open as his face contorted into a scowl. "Yeah, no, she won't be. I don't take passengers." Yaga sat up, his glasses casting a menacing gleam, "If you'd like to keep your job, Corporal, you will be." The ‘corporal’ in question ‘tsk’d’ before sinking back into the leather chair, leg crossing lazily over the other as his hand gripped his bicep. He was muscular alright…
”Ms. L/n, this is Corporal Ryomen Sukuna, he’s just recently been taken off of suspension and is in a probationary period of his own. If at the end of these 3 months the two of you are deemed fit for duty, you will proceed on with your careers with no problem.” You looked over at the man, his red eyes finding your e/c ones as he raised an eyebrow, your own narrowing slightly at him before you smartly returned your gaze towards Yaga. “Do I make myself clear?” You both responded with ‘yes sir’ and he dismissed you.
You both stood from the chairs, him grabbing the badge that was slid over the desk while you made your way to the door. “Your first day is tomorrow, don’t be late,” Yaga turned to Sukuna, “I hope you understand, it doesn’t matter how good of a cop you are, this is your last chance, mess this up and you're done. Please cooperate.” Your eyebrows raised at that before you felt yourself cringe, great, the ‘probation officer’ they assigned you was some kind of delinquent? You opened the door and stepped out, Sukuna passing by you without a word, going his own way as you sighed, shutting the door and making your way back out of the station.
On your way to the front desk to sign out, you heard your name being called. “HEY! Y/N!” You stopped and turned, finding two of the new recruits who had graduated with you, Yuji Itadori and Megumi Fushiguro. They were nice, and good at what they did, so you were happy when you heard they’d be going to the same unit as you. You watched as Fushiguro smacked Itadori upside the head, “We’re inside, idiot.”
Your lip tugged up at that, watching as Itadori rubbed his head with a pout before turning to you, giving you one of his smiles. “Anyway, what did the Captain say? Are you gonna be able to continue with us?” You nodded as a small smile made its way to your face, “With conditions, yes.” Fushiguro nodded as Itadori gave you a thumbs up and ‘nice!’, “You’re lucky you didn’t get cut, the higher ups can be really cut throat when they want to be, i’d watch my back.” You nodded at Fushiguro, remembering the stories your dad had told you about people being let go for trivial things, although back then it was mostly family politics.
Fushiguro was from the Zen’in family, who was known for being exemplary cops, and had a strong presence in the station. From what you knew, there were at least 5 of them in this unit alone. “I will, they’re letting me join, but for 3 months i’ll be doing a probationary trial with one of the corporals.” Fushiguro nodded at that, Itadori’s eyes lighting up, “Which one did you get? We get assigned our T.O’s (training officers) tomorrow.” You felt your eye twitch as you thought back to the disrespectful and presumably problematic individual you had just met.
“Ryomen Sukuna. From what I know he just got back from suspension, so this is a punishment for him too.” Your eyes narrowed in confusion when Itadori’s widened in shock, “wAIT!? Does he have hair like mine?” You nodded, “Tattoos??” You nodded again, “Really bad attitude and terrible social skills-” “I think she gets it, what’s your point Itadori?” You almost laughed at how tired Fushiguro looked, despite being friends all throughout high school, and going to the academy together.
“Dude...her probation officer is my cousin Ryomen.” You watched as Fushiguro’s eyes now widened, his lips fighting a smile as he turned around, grabbing the collar of Itadori’s uniform as he dragged him off with a wave, “Good luck then, you’re gonna need it!” Your mouth opened to reply before you decided against it, just shaking your head and finally making your way to the front desk. ‘Ryomen Sukuna...I’ll ask dad about him later, I swear i’ve heard it before..’
**20 minutes ago in Yaga’s office before you arrived**
“Corporal, please have a seat.” Sukuna walked in, sitting down on the chair and bringing his elbows up on the arm rests, hands clasping together in front of his mouth. Sukuna had been on a 2 month suspension after yet another misdemeanor. The only reason he hasn’t been fired is because he’s truly good at what he does, and the department really doesn’t want to let him go but…”You’re aware of how we handle discipline in this department. So tell me how it is you’ve been dealt 7 out of the 8 disciplinary actions and you still have yet to change?”
The department had a sort of system for disciplining it’s cops. 1. A verbal warning (which Sukuna had ignored), 2. A written warning (Sukuna had thrown away), 3. Performance Improvement Plan (He had on multiple occasions ditched his supervising adviser), 4. Temporary Pay cut (He practically lived at the station, it didn’t phase him much), 5. Loss of privileges (see #4), 6. Suspension (recently completed), 7. Demotion (...up until 2 months ago it was Sergeant Ryomen Sukuna…) and 8. Termination. He could handle everything else but...termination meant he was done, and he was anything but.
“I told you captain, it’s not me who needs to change, the departments way too stuck up.” Yaga took a breath before he sighed, leaning back in his swivel chair, “I know the higher ups don’t always act accordingly, but they’re still your higher ups, and I can only defend your job beyond so many offenses.” Sukuna glared at the ground as his arms crossed against his broad chest. *Knock knock* “Come in”
TAGLIST: @alohablue 💙
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mochegato · 3 years
Text
Hope on Board
Chapter 28 – You Can Never Go Home Again
Chapter 1     Chapter 27
“Okay Ms. Dupain-Cheng,” the doctor said pushing away from the hospital bed in the birthing center and pulling off her gloves.  “You are completely effaced.  We are definitely ready to go.”
Marinette looked up at Dick, an absolutely panicked expression on her face before looking over to the doctor.  “What?  What about an epidural?  We had a birthing plan.  It included an epidural.”
The doctor gave her a sympathetic look and shook her head slightly.  “I understand, but it appears the universe had other plans.  We are too far along for an epidural.  You’re going to be pushing before the anesthesiologist will even be able to get here.”
“Fuck you,” she scoffed.  Her eyes immediately widened at her words.  “I’m sorry that was… I’m sorry.  Doctor Graham, was it?” she clarified.  The doctor nodded.  Marinette smiled in response, which quickly turned into a grimace and scream as another contraction hit.  “Fuck you, Dr. Graham,” she growled.
“There isn’t any way to get the anesthesiologist up there faster?” Dick tried, desperate for any way to help Marinette feel less scared and less pain.
Dr. Graham chuckled at Marinette’s outburst.  “I get that a lot.  Unfortunately, no.  There’s nothing I can do.  The anesthesiologist is with another patient right now and won’t be able to get here for about twenty minutes or more.  I expect at least the first baby to already be born by then, maybe both,” she informed them earnestly.  “Sorry. It took too long to get you here.”
“Well sorry for getting kidnapped by some bird obsessed cult,” Marinette gritted out after another contraction passed.
Dr. Graham looked over to Dick who shrugged at her.  “The bats just saved her and we rushed right here.”  Dr. Graham shook her head.  Honestly, not the strangest thing she’d heard in Gotham. “We will need extra security because of it,” Dick added.
“We can have police in with the babies,” Dr. Graham assured him.
“Oh Hell no,” Marinette grunted.
“Police officers were the ones to deliver her to the cult,” Dick explained, running his hand up and down Marinette’s arm in a soothing motion.
Dr. Graham nodded, again, not too surprising.  “Do you have an alternative?” she asked as she gave orders to the nurses to get the room set up for the birth.
Dick shrugged distractedly, his focus on the pained expression Marinette was making and the way her body was curling in pain.  “We can work something out.  The bats seemed to know something about the cult.  They might be willing to help keep watch.”
“Yeah, maybe we can focus on the baby trying to come out right now, yeah?” Marinette growled between pants.
“Of course,” Doctor Graham said kindly.  “We’re already getting everything ready and I’ll let you know when to start pushing.”
Marinette nodded silently.  She looked over to Dick, her look of annoyance with the situation turning to a look of panic.  She was not ready for this.  She was not ready for the twins to be born.  She didn’t have everything settled.  She and Dick hadn’t talked.  She didn’t know where they stood.  They hadn’t talked about where they were going to stay.  She hadn’t even processed the kidnapping yet.
“It’ll be okay,” he cooed at her soothingly.  He took her hand in his, bringing it to his chest as he wiped her sweaty hair away from her face.  He looked lovingly in her eyes and gently rubbed his thumb along her cheek.  “You can do this.  You’re the strongest person I know.  You’re amazing.”  He kissed her temple.  “I’ll be right here to support you however I can.  Feel free to try to break my hand while you push.”
Marinette huffed out a short laugh.  “I might take you up on that.”  She breathed through another contraction, squeezing his hand and groaning loudly as it crested.
“Go ahead,” he assured her.  “I can take it.  I have the easy part.”  He gave her a soft smile, until she turned to face the doctor and grimaced while her focus was elsewhere.  She might actually break his hand at this rate.  “Just focus on the end.  When this is all over, we’re going to have two beautiful babies just as amazing as their mother.”  She looked back up at him, uncertainty clear, but fading.  “The universe can’t take you down.  The Court of Owls couldn’t take you down.  You can do this,” he whispered confidently.  She nodded at him, a look of determination settling in as she felt the start of the next contraction.
“Alright Ms. Dupain-Cheng.  It’s time to push,” Dr. Graham informed her with a smile.
<><><><><> 
“I’ve been thinking…” Dick started, looking over cautiously to Marinette.  She was sitting in a glider in the twins’ NICU room attempting to nurse Robert.  Robert was doing extremely well, but his sucking reflex was still developing, making latching on more difficult for him than it was for Lucy.  Lucy was resting comfortably on Dick’s bare chest, enjoying skin to skin contact under the simulated sun lamps.  Her black hair sticking up above the blanket wrapped around her and Dick.
Marinette gave him a tired smile.  “About?” she prompted.
“Living arrangements when Lucy and Robert are ready to go home.  Robert’s doing a lot better now.  I think he’ll be ready to go home in a few days.  Lucy will probably be ready sooner,” he answered, turning to be able to make eye contact with Marinette while they talked. It had been a few days since the twins had been born and they still hadn’t had a chance to really talk. Between the coordination of taking care of the twins and making sure there were eyes on them at all times and the exhaustion on Marinette’s system from delivering the babies and after the kidnapping, there hadn’t really been time.
“Dick, I…” she started looking away guiltily.
“I know you’re not ready to date let alone move back in together,” he assured her gently, “this isn’t about that,” he assured her gently.  “This is about their safety.  The Court of Owls isn’t eliminated.  They have multiple strongholds.  This was a hard hit, but they aren’t gone.”  He ran his hand through his hair and looked away nervously. “I don’t even think the apartment is safe.”
“The prophecy,” she nodded, tickling Robert’s cheek to try to get him to open his mouth wider.  “This isn’t over is it?”  
Dick shook his head.  “I don’t think so.  It’ll take a while for them to recover, but I think they’ll be back.”
She sighed sadly and tried to focus entirely on Robert so Dick wouldn’t see the tears in her eyes at the thought of them returning, the thought that they would never truly be safe until the Court was completely eliminated.  She ran her hand over his curly black hair.  Whereas Lucy had gotten her mother’s straight, thick black hair, Robert’s was closer to his father’s.  Little curls licked his face and curled away.  “So, what were you thinking?”
Marinette may have turned away from Dick, but he still knew her well enough to know she was terrified and trying to hide it.  He could see it in the way she hid her face.  He could see it in the way her shoulders curled around Robert.  He could see it in the way she held him just a little closer.  He moved so he was sitting next to her and could cup her face with his free hand.  
“We’ll keep them safe, Marinette.  We won’t let anything happen to them,” he assured her.  The fierce determinism in his voice made her want to believe him. They would do everything they could to protect their babies.  She leaned into his hand and nodded.  “So, what I was thinking was… we should make sure they are as safe as possible.” She gave him a confused look, unsure why he suddenly sounded so tentative.  “And the most secure place I can think of… is the manor.”
Marinette stared at him for a few seconds, mouth slightly agape in surprise. “You think we should move into the manor?” she whisper shouted.  “Dick, I don’t want to live in Bruce’s home for the rest of our lives.”
“I know, I know.  It’s not ideal,” Dick conceded.  Before the kidnapping, he certainly would never have expected to propose returning to the manor.  He had moved out for a reason and now, with Marinette and the twins, there were even more reasons not to.  But, there was one overwhelming, overpowering reason they should.  “But, it’s the safest place in Gotham, probably New Jersey, possibly in all of America.  He has a ton of security to ward off cults, rogues, magicians, assassins, and everything else he could think of.”
“And it’s so big!  What if the twins play hide and seek in a few years and we never find them?  That place is too big,” she exclaimed.
“Okay, good point,” he allowed.  It wasn’t and they both knew it.  There was no way they, Kismet, or Alfred wouldn’t be able to find them, but he wasn’t going to argue that point.  His focus was to get the twins under the best security they could manage, not get lost in the details.  Not to mention, he had actually gotten lost in the manor a few times when he first moved there, so he knew getting lost was a possibility.  It’s just that they wouldn’t stay that way.  “But what if we take Bruce up on allowing him to build us a secure home.  Our own home, with just as much security.”
“Dick!” she exclaimed loudly and immediately regretted it.  She startled Robert off his finally successful latch and woke Lucy up.  “Sorry,” she grimaced apologetically.
Dick chuckled at her and started bouncing Lucy to lull her back to sleep. “I know.  I don’t really like the idea of asking him either, but we need some place safe.  The Court of Owls is dangerous, extremely well connected, and apparently obsessed with our children.  We need top of the line security and I don’t think we could afford it otherwise.  I think it’s the only way to keep them safe.”
She stared at him silently for a few minutes.  Not really sure how to react.  He was right.  They would need security, more security than they could afford otherwise.  However, they did have built in security with the kwami, not that Dick knew about that yet.  But it also wasn’t entirely reliable.  The kwami couldn’t do much more than warn them if something was happening. They couldn’t act on it without potentially devastating consequences.
Dick spoke up after a few minutes, misinterpreting her hesitation.  “I… I can live somewhere else.  The most important thing is for you and the twins to be safe,” he offered.
“But they might come after you as well.  You’re a Grayson,” she protested.  If anything, he and the twins needed to stay under the security’s protection.
“I can stay at the manor,” he assured her.
Marinette concentrated on Robert while she thought it through, running her fingers over his curls.  She wasn’t ready to go back to the way they were.  She didn’t trust him completely yet.  Or rather, she trusted him, she just didn’t know if she trusted him with her heart.  But she did trust him to keep her and the twins safe.  She did trust him to protect them and to act respectfully.  She trusted him to want to do what was best for them.
“No… why don’t we… why don’t we stay in the manor until we figure out where we want to go?  Relationship wise.” she finally offered resolutely.  Dick nodded in understanding.  There was no reason to build a home for the two of them if they weren’t going to live together.  Marinette and the twins would need security whether she stayed with him or not, but if they decided they didn’t want to get back together she should have a home of her own, away from him.  “We can have our own rooms and the twins can stay in mine for the first few months, until the likelihood of SIDS is lower.”
“Bruce has a few very large rooms in the manor, would you… how would you feel about us both staying in the room with the twins, but in different beds?  That way I can help better and you don’t have to do all the work by yourself,” he offered cautiously.  He didn’t want to scare her off by pushing too hard or rushing her.
Marinette studied him uncertainly.  That seemed awfully intimate, but at the same time, it would allow her some rest.  He could change diapers and help get them back to sleep…  “We can try it…”
“But if you start to feel uncomfortable, I can move to another room, immediately,” he assured her.  
Marinette nodded in agreement.  “Okay”
Dick smiled again, a relieved, excited smile.  He knew there was a lot to do.  He knew he still had a long way to go, but they were making progress.  They weren’t as bad as he thought they had been. “I know I have a lot to make up for and a lot to prove.  I know I messed up and I want to fix it.”
“What do you think you messed up,” she asked curiously.  
“I think I was so afraid of losing you, I got obsessed with eliminating any threats that might hurt you.  I… I couldn’t lose you like I lost my parents,” he answered honestly.  “That’s not an excuse,” he insisted quickly.  “It’s not an excuse because I know it doesn’t excuse my behavior.  It’s just my reasoning.  I didn’t even realize it until Lucius pointed it out at the fashion show.  He also pointed out that you wouldn’t have let me go. You would have pulled me out of my obsession, and I knew that.  So that’s why I didn’t tell you.
“I think that’s what I need to fix.  We’re supposed to be a team.  We were supposed to be in a relationship, but I was cutting you out.  I saw that I was hurting you, but I convinced myself I was saving you from something worse.  I think I messed up by cutting you out of my life.  I’m going to change that.”
She nodded at him with tears in her eyes.  “Okay.  You know it wasn’t the secrets, right?  You were allowed to have secrets.  I didn’t begrudge you that.  Hell, I have secrets I haven’t told you yet.”  She looked down at Lucy when she started making whimpering noises.  “Trade me,” she motioned for Lucy and held Robert out for him to take.  He gently handed Lucy off to Marinette to nurse and took Robert, loosening his swaddle so they could do skin to skin time.  “I want us to get to the point we don’t have secrets from each other, but we both deserve the time to figure out when we’ve reached that point.”
After a few minutes bouncing Robert, Dick looked back to Marinette with an open, vulnerable expression.  “I spoke with Commissioner Gordon,” he started slowly.  “And I quit the Titans.  I’m going to become a police officer in Gotham.  I’ll be here from now on.  There might still be things I can’t tell you because it’s police business, but you’ll know why I can’t tell you now.  And I know that doesn’t make up for everything I’ve done, but it’s a start.”
“Dick! You didn’t have to give up something you love for me!  That’s ridiculous.  Whether we get back together or not, you shouldn’t give up things you love to make someone else happy,” she exclaimed desperately.  The last thing she wanted was for him to give up parts of himself, parts that mattered to him, parts he might be bitter about having given up later.
Dick shook his head emphatically.  “I didn’t do it for you.  Well, not just you.  I was miserable whenever I was away.  I hated missing you and the twins.  I… I didn’t want to miss out on their lives like I missed out on the pregnancy.  I don’t want them growing up without me.” He sat back down next to her again to look her in the eye again, close enough for her to feel his breath on her face. “I won’t lie.  I want to go back to the way we were, but without the leaving and the lies.”  
He brushed her bangs out of her face and gently rubbed his thumb along her cheek. “I love you and waking up to you in my arms is one of the best parts of my life in the last few… years really. Kissing you, touching you, seeing your smile.  All of the things I got to do with you were magical.  I’d love to get that back, but I know I have work to do to get there. And I’m willing to put in the effort.”
“Dick…” she rested her head in the crux of his neck, angling Lucy away while she did.  “It’s going to take a while.”
“I know.  And I know we might never get back there, but I want to try.”  He kissed the top of her head and rested his head on hers.
Marinette looked back up at him and nodded.  “Let’s focus on getting the twins healthy and learning how to be parents. Then we can see how things feel.”
Dick smiled gently.  “Okay.”
She shook her head and turned her head back to rest against his neck.  “I owe Adrien 100 euros.  I bet him I wouldn’t end up with a hero.”
“Technically I’m a vigilante.  And we’re not together,” Dick corrected with a smirk, “… yet.”
She stared at him for a few moments before nodding resolutely.  “You know what?  I’ll take it.”
Chapter 29
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@dickinette-february @demonicbusiness @ichigorose @iloontjeboontje @ladybug-182 @toodaloo-kangaroo @dast218 @golden-promises @trippingovermyfeet @emimar7 @laurcad123 @lady-bee-fechin @thewitchwhowaited @redscarlet95 @jayjayspixiepop
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ghostgothgeek · 3 years
Text
Chaos.
Another for the Phic Phight! This one kinda combines two prompts and I had so much fun writing it! In this, Danny and Tucker don’t know Sam plays video games yet. 5,063 words.
"What do you mean you don’t feel the same way? We´ve had a mutual crush on each other for years." Sam says angrily after finally confessing her love to him. But Danny´s heart was beating hard for someone else entirely. Prompt by phantomfana. 
Danny wants to ask his crush to the upcoming school dance. Prompt by Rikaleeta.
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It was another long night of ghost hunting for Danny. Technus took up the first part of the night, trying to take over the park’s new security system. Tucker was fortunately still awake to help him out with that. Then Johnny and Kitty rolled in, but they weren’t looking for trouble, they just wanted a date night and swore they wouldn’t be a problem. Apparently Fridays were their days off for “everything but each other”. Danny was a romantic, but he didn’t know if this was sweet or nauseating. Ember had put up a good fight, though. He was proud he only had one injury to tend to. He had dodged most of her attacks, but she was still a pretty advanced ghost. And, of course, Danny had caught the Box Ghost six, count them, SIX times. How did he always manage to get out?! He wasn’t difficult to take down, he was just a pest. 
Danny sighed as he sat down at his computer chair. It was only 12:30 am, and it was a Friday. He could sleep in tomorrow and he deserved at least a couple hours of fun. He logged into his online gaming account and saw Tucker was online. Figures. He pulled up the chat anyway. 
Astrohaunt: Hey Tuck. Still up?
Technopedia: You know it. Chaos signed on about a half hour ago and I’m not passing up the opportunity.
Astrohaunt: Dude is so good it’s unreal!
Technopedia: He goes to our school, I tracked one of his IP addresses and he logged in at school a few times.
Astrohaunt: Tucker wtf. That’s creepy!
Technopedia: I just want to make sure Chaos is actually a kid and not Lancer again!
Astrohaunt: I still can’t wrap my mind around Lancer playing Doomed…
Technopedia: Same. But Chaos IP is different from Lancer, so we good. Unless more teachers play Doomed.
Astrohaunt: I hate you for putting that image into my brain.
Technopedia: Sorry dude. But quick come join before someone else gets Chaos.
Danny, Tucker, and Chaos had made a great team. Whenever Chaos was around, they were actually able to progress through the game. They played several rounds until Tucker was caught by his mom and was forced to sign off, but Danny and Chaos kept playing. 
TeamChaos: Hey, what’s up?
Astrohaunt: Omg dude you’re so awesome. 
TeamChaos: Ha, thanks. Gotta blow off steam somehow. 
Astrohaunt: Tell me about it! Between Lancer’s three projects and midterms and...other stuff...this is my only time to actually chill. I’ve been so stressed!
TeamChaos: Same. I did finish one of the projects though. I’m always here if you need to talk, you know. 
Astrohaunt: Wow, I may just take you up on that offer. I’ve had a rough night.
TeamChaos: Lay it on me.
And so Danny, sparing the ghost hunting details, stayed up chatting with Chaos until 5 am. He got along really well with the guy, they had a lot of similar interests. This was just the first of many up-all-night conversations they shared. After a few months, Danny felt a special connection with Chaos, and yet, he didn’t even know his name! 
Astrohaunt: We’ve been talking all these months and I still don’t know your name. I’m Danny. 
TeamChaos: Oh, thought you knew. It’s Sam!
Astrohaunt: Hey! One of my best friends is named Sam! 
TeamChaos: You don’t say!!!
The next day at school, Danny pulled Tucker over to him, whispering, “Dude, help. I think I might be gay....” 
“What?!” Tucker shouted.
“Quiet, Tuck!” 
“Okay, well uh...why?” Tucker sent him a weird look and took a step back. 
“No, not you. Chaos. I think I have a crush on Chaos.” Danny ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what to do! I never thought I’d be...you know. Chaos and I just have good conversations and he’s always there to listen to me when I need to vent. I thought maybe I found another best friend but...this is different. Chaos is so cool and I’m crushing and I don’t even know who he is or what he looks like! Or if he feels the same way! Maybe I’m just stupid and-”
“Dude, chill. You’re jumping too far ahead of yourself. Whichever way you, you know, swing...I’m still your best friend.” Tucker pulled out his PDA. “Let me see what I can find out. I know Chaos goes to our school.”
“Thanks, Tuck. As if being half ghost wasn’t hard enough! Oh, and he’s in our class, because he’s talked me through assignments and knows what they are and stuff. He’s almost as good as explaining things as Sam. Crap...Sam. Don’t tell her about this!” Danny started fidgeting. 
“Well,” Tucker raised his eyebrows in surprise, “I can tell you with absolute certainty that Chaos is definitely a girl.” 
“You found out who Chaos is?!” 
“What, like it’s hard?” Tucker chuckled. “I traced the IP addresses she uses. I know who she is. So do you,” Tucker smirked, “It shocked me at first, but it makes total sense! And I can totally see why you like her.” 
“Really?” Danny let out a breath in relief. “Okay that makes me feel a lot better...hey, maybe I can ask Chaos to the dance next Saturday!” 
Tucker rested a hand on Danny’s shoulder. “Go for it. Ask Sam. I’m almost positive she’ll say yes.”
“Okay, I will...wait, not Sam! Chaos!” Danny clarified. “Well, actually, I think Chaos told me her name was Sam. Ha, small world. I can’t wait to introduce Sam to Sam. I think they would really get along.” 
Tucker busted out laughing, “Oh, dude. You go ahead and do that.” He left Danny standing there in the hallway, still laughing all the way to his next class.
Danny, a bit confused by Tucker’s laughter, shook his head and smiled to himself. Okay, good. He’d had enough identity crises to fill a lifetime. Chaos was definitely a girl. Now if he just knew Chaos returned his feelings, things might actually work out for him this time and he could actually have a girlfriend.
Meanwhile, Sam was having an internal debate of her own. Sitting in a class where the teacher couldn’t give two shits about what the students were doing, she had always used this class as her thinking time. Usually her thinking-about-Danny time. She nervously clicked her pen as she thought about recent events. 
She and Danny spent so much time chatting online when they weren’t hanging out in person. Danny was a little bit more bold online, probably because he didn’t have to interact face-to-face or risk his pants falling down in public again. Online, they talked about everything. No topic was off limits. Plus, Sam felt like their friendship had only grown even stronger when they could chat online and not have to worry about blushing or getting teased by Tucker. Chatting online took away all the pressure and made it much easier to connect with Danny. 
Danny hadn’t said anything yet, of course. He was probably scared. Hell, she was scared. She was already so in love with him, and getting closer online only further solidified that fact. She had never been in love before, and even though she hunts ghosts, this was more terrifying! She was fairly certain he returned her feelings, but both were too chicken to actually make that final step. They’ve been best friends forever. She didn’t want to mess up their already great dynamic or force Tucker to be the third wheel, though he did insist he was more than okay with that and encouraged them to finally get together. 
Sam stopped clicking her pen as she suddenly remembered it was senior year. They hadn’t picked colleges yet, but whether they ended up going to the same school or not, things were going to change. Danny was very attractive, and going off to college meant girls may actually approach him when they didn’t know his parents were ghost fighters. The fact had never bothered Sam, but she did kind of like how it kept most girls at school from asking him out or giving him attention. Valerie had been a challenge, especially because she was a ghost hunter herself and probably wanted to get tips from his parents. Sam was glad that relationship ended relatively early. It was too hard on her. Joyous or not, though, she was still mad at Valerie for how she broke his heart. 
But that was 2 years ago. They had all moved on and friendships were more or less mended across the board. This made Sam glance at her favorite picture of her and Danny. Tucker had taken the candid picture and it was now her phone’s background. In it, Danny was giving Sam a piggyback ride. Her arms were lightly strung around his neck, legs looped around his waist. Danny had kept going in the opposite direction Sam told him to go, which frustrated her but also made her laugh. She had rested her chin on his shoulder, her face pressed right up against his. Danny was looking at her and Tucker had captured that rare moment when Sam had a huge grin on her face, still laughing. She smiled at the picture. They would be okay no matter what. Their friendship would survive.
Anyway, Sam also realized she had already come close to losing Danny, in more ways than one. Whether it was to other girls or a ghost, there was always that anxiety stirring in her head that she could lose him entirely some day. Life was too short. She needed to take the plunge for both of them and just get them both over this hurdle, and they could finally, finally, actually get together. 
Sam made her decision. It was now or never. She was going to tell him. Today. The trio was meeting up at Danny’s house later anyway, and if she got there early enough, she could talk to him before Tucker showed up and teased them about it. Sam firmly nodded her head to herself, a confirmation of her decision. It was finally time.
After school, Danny was pacing in his room, trying to figure out how he wanted to do this. Asking a girl to the dance wasn’t a huge deal, and yet at the same time, it was. He would rather ask in person, but he still didn’t know what Chaos looked like, so asking in person seemed to be off the table. He could look in the yearbook for all the girls named Sam at their school. He could already omit one Sam Manson from that list. How many Sams could possibly attend their school? It would be easier to ask Tucker, though. Tucker already knew who she was. Sam and Tucker were on their way over right now. When Sam wasn’t paying attention, he could ask Tucker for Sam’s full name. 
Chaos Sam, not best friend Sam. God, this was so confusing. Why were girls so hard for him? Freshman year, Paulina only liked his ghost half and wouldn’t give his human half the time of day. Sophomore year, Valerie hated his ghost half and that hatred was more important to her than her feelings for his human half. Junior year, he had been denying that he was in love with his best friend. And now that he had finally accepted that he did like his best friend as much more than a friend, a new girl entered the picture and he now found himself trying to choose between two Sams. Because it apparently wasn’t hard enough for him already to make the biggest and most important change he could possibly make in a friendship, let’s add another crush to the mix and give them the same name.
Sam. Best friend Sam - that’s who he was planning on asking originally, even if he chickened out and had to ask her as a friend instead. Plus, he and Sam had somehow gotten closer recently, and he was pretty sure she liked him. Sure, it was only because Tucker told him so, but it was a possibility. The thing was, he didn’t want to ruin things. Especially because he truly didn’t know how Sam, best friend Sam, felt about him. She was a tough and courageous girl, surely she would have said something by now if it were true. So Tucker must be pulling his leg.
But he did have another option - Chaos Sam, who may actually return his feelings. Sure, the feelings weren’t nearly as strong as what he felt for his best friend, but the feelings were still there. Plus, if he got rejected by Chaos, it would be less heartbreaking than being rejected by Sam, someone he had known for years rather than months. He could deal with losing a newer friend, but not one of his best friends. Sam was too important and he knew he needed her in his life.
Danny sighed. This was really hard, but he made a decision. It was easier to go with Chaos than risk ruining things with Sam. Danny had enough drama going on in his life already, he needed an easy win. 
He broke from his thoughts when the doorbell rang. He ran downstairs and opened it, only slightly surprised to see Sam there. She was usually early for things. He and Tuck were more prone to being late. 
“Hey, Sam. Come on in!” Danny moved so Sam could enter his house. He shut the door and followed her upstairs and back to his room as she returned his greeting. She was pacing the same path he just had, muttering quietly to herself. She looked nervous. “Something on your mind?” 
Sam was startled out of her thoughts. “Huh? Oh yeah.” She noticed his disheveled appearance, also noting he was fidgety. Was he going to do what she was about to do? “What about you, you look like you’ve been thinking a little too hard about something.” She smiled softly. 
Danny chuckled, “Yeah, but it’ll resolve itself soon. I’ll worry about it after the movies. Tuck should be here any second. Oh, but I’m glad you’re early. Can you help me with something quick?” 
“Of course.” Sam followed him to his desk, smiling and rolling her eyes when he pointed to a homework problem. “I should have known.” 
Danny gave her a lopsided smile and watched as she showed him how to do the problem in her perfect handwriting. It took no more than a couple of minutes. Now, they were just waiting for Tucker to arrive. 
Sam looked at the time. He would be here soon. She needed to do this now. She needed to tell Danny. She couldn’t wait until after the movies for him to tell her. She had already waited long enough and couldn’t bear another second.
“Danny, can I talk to you for a second?” She sat down on his bed and gestured for him to do the same. 
Danny could sense the seriousness in her voice, and nodded anxiously. He was scared when Sam was serious about things. It was usually something bad.
“Danny…” She decided to get straight to the point. “I like you. As in like-like you. More than like, and more than a friend. And we’ve been doing this dancing around for at least 4 years now and I’m sick of it. I just want to be with you already. What do you say?” Sam held her breath as she waited for Danny to answer. 
He stared at her with wide eyes before nervously rubbing the back of his neck and turning his attention to his shoes, avoiding eye contact with the goth. God, why him?! He had stupidly thought, for once, things would be easier for him this time. He had already sent an offline message to Chaos that he wanted to ask her something, and then Sam had to come along and tell him what he had wanted to hear for some time now. But he couldn’t blow Chaos off when he had already somewhat asked. Of course, his life just had to be complicated every step of the way. He really liked both girls and didn’t want to hurt his best friend. Regardless, he had to be honest. He owed Sam that much. “Well, I mean, yeah, but…” 
“But what?” Sam whispered, clearly already upset. Fuck. Fuck fuck FUCK. This was exactly what he didn’t want to happen. He decided to try going with Chaos so he could avoid heartbreak from his best friend. The very thing he had been so afraid of, he was doing to her right now. 
Danny sighed again. “But I can’t. I’m so sorry, Sam.” It was hard to choke out, but he said it, and he felt terrible. He pressed his lips together and kept staring at his shoes until Sam lifted his chin up, forcing him to look at her. 
“What do you mean you don’t feel the same way? We’ve had mutual crushes on each other for years!” Sam said angrily, feeling her heart break as her best friend and love of her life rejected her confession of love. She was so sure he returned her feelings! Especially after all the great conversations they had shared online these last few months. “Or, at least, I thought we did.” Tears swelled in her eyes. Did he lead her on? “I-I need an explanation, Danny,” she quietly stated after he didn’t continue. 
Danny frowned and his heart ached. He didn’t want to hurt his best friend like this. Hell, he really liked her! Of course their crushes were mutual! And if this had happened 6 months ago instead of now, he would have jumped at the chance. But now...now he had Chaos and already forced himself to stick with his decision. It was easy with Chaos; there was no friendship to risk, no denying of being lovebirds or brushing off kisses as fakeout makeouts. Plus, he couldn’t lie to his best friend. She would know if he was lying. And he already told himself she deserved the truth. “There’s...someone else…” 
“What?” Sam whispered before turning angry again, “Paulina? Valerie? Star?” she spat out. 
Danny shook his head, “Ew, no...it’s someone I met online...I’m so sorry, Sam. I like you a lot, I really do, but I think I’ve already come to the conclusion that I like this girl I met online, Chaos, and I have to try to see that through.” 
Many emotions crossed Sam’s face as she pieced together what he just said. At first she was upset, but as he explained himself, she felt disbelief, confusion, anger, and finally, hope. He couldn’t really be that clueless, right? “Show me.” 
“Huh? I mean, I don’t actually know what she looks like, but we message every night and she really understands me! I know it sounds ridiculous, but-” 
“Show me,” Sam repeated. “Show me her profile.” 
“You’re not going to hurt her, are you?” Danny questioned cautiously.
“No, of course not. Just shut up and show me the profile.” Sam was more calm now, and that was kind of scary. Even though Sam said she wouldn’t hurt Chaos, he didn’t want to give her the chance. But he knew how stubborn his friend was, and eventually in whatever way, she would force the information out of him. 
Danny sighed and pulled up the profile to show Sam. “I’m sorry, Sam. I’m still your best frien-” 
“Shut up.” Sam scrolled through what Danny pulled up for her and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. Closing her eyes slowly, she took a deep breath. “Didn’t Chaos tell you her name?” 
“Uh,” Danny thought, “oh yeah! She said her name was Sam, because I thought she was a boy at first and I had an existential crisis, but then Tucker told me-” 
“Danny. I’m Sam.” 
“No I know, and sure it’ll be a little weird cause you’re Sam and she’s Sam, it’s confusing, but I-” 
Sam interrupted him once again. She could hear Tucker’s footsteps approaching. She was running out of time to not make this a spectacle. “No, Danny. Chaos. Sam. Me. I’m Sam. I am Sam,” 
Tucker only heard the tail end of the conversation as he entered the room. Never able to pass up a comedic opportunity, he smirked and added “I am Sam. Sam I am. I do not like green eggs and ham!” 
It was suddenly silent in the room as his friends seized conversation and glared at him. Oops. 
“Oh, am I interrupting something?” Tucker could see the fire in Sam’s eyes. “Uh, oh wait I forgot my...sock. I’ll be downstairs!” He raced out of the room.
Sam turned her attention back to Danny. “No, you stupid fucking MORON. I am Chaos. You’ve been talking to me the whole time. I thought you knew that!” Danny stared at her blankly until she pulled out her phone and he watched her log into her account, proving it to him. Sure enough, it was Chaos’s profile. He could see all the direct messages between them, including his offline message about wanting to ask her something.
“Wait, you? You’re Sam? I mean, Chaos? I mean Sam?” Danny looked back and forth between the profile and his best friend. 
“UGH!” Sam shouted as she threw her hands in the air. “Yes, Danny. That’s me! Did you really not notice that Chaos was the same age as me and a girl who goes to our school? We have the same name and interests! Didn’t you wonder why it was so easy to talk right off the bat? I thought you put that all together and us just pretending to not know each other was a little bit you were trying to do or something!” 
Danny stared at her as he continued to piece it all together. He was definitely embarrassed. He felt so stupid. How could he not tell that Chaos was Sam, his best friend since 7th grade? Talk about being totally clueless. 
Wait. Clueless? Well, fuck! He got the nickname now! 
His eyes flickered back and forth as he thought everything through. Eventually, he started to crack a smile. “Wait, so I’ve had a crush on you and also you? You’re the same person! This is great! Do you know what this means?!” 
Sam slapped her forehead and began walking downstairs. “I don’t even know if this is worth it anymore…” 
“Wait, how come Tuck and I never knew you played video games! We can enter team tournaments! You’re so good!” Danny chased after her. 
Tucker watched as Sam grumbled about Danny caring more about video games than her. An excited Danny was right on her tail. 
“Tucker! Sam is Chaos! I’ve been in love with Sam this whole time!” Danny explained. 
“Tucker, I need you to refrain me from slapping his stupid clueless face,” Sam started. 
“Wait, you didn’t know Sam was Chaos? Dude! I thought I was obvious about that!” Tucker began laughing at Danny. 
“I know, so did I.” Sam crossed her arms over her chest. 
“Danny, you can calculate levels of rocket fuel and figure out how to get us to Mercury or something,” Tucker started. 
“Mars, actually,” Danny corrected. 
“But you can’t figure out that your best friend and your crush are the same person? You’re more than Captain Clueless, you’re like….Lieutenant Clueless? That’s like, bigger right?” Tucker continued. 
“I don’t think that’s how it works, Tuck,” Sam chimed in. 
“Shut up Sam, this isn’t about you,” Tucker immediately stopped his train of thought when he felt Sam glaring daggers at him. “Heh, uh. Except it does. It actually has nothing to do with me. I’m sorry I told you to shut up, please don’t hurt me!” He threw his hands up in front of himself in defense. 
“Relax, Tucker. I’m more angry with this fucking dingus,” she pointed her thumb in Danny’s direction. 
The halfa was about to protest, then closed his mouth. “That’s fair, I deserve that.” 
“I can’t even look at you right now. You scared me! I poured out my emotions to you. I thought you were rejecting me and that I would have to change my name and move to a different country! Wait, are you still rejecting me?” Sam stopped her pacing to look at him. 
“Of course not, Sammy!” 
“Oh don’t you ‘Sammy’ me! I told you I love you, you stupid fucking idiot!” Sam began throwing pillows at Danny, who expertly dodged them (though as a result, Tucker got hit in the face by one). 
“Technically, you didn’t say ‘love’ you said ‘like’”, Danny offered as Tucker shook his head and slashed finger across his neck, signaling Danny to stop talking. 
“Oh, I’m sorry! This is all my fault! I’m going to go jump off a cliff now!” Sam growled and Danny let out a small “oomph” as one of the pillows finally got him. 
“I’m out. Good luck, bro!” Tucker quickly slipped out the door, leaving Danny and Sam alone. 
Sam was about to follow Tucker out when Danny stopped her, “please don’t leave!” She still had angry tears in her eyes. He frowned. This was not how he expected things to go. She watched him for a few seconds before sitting down on the couch, refusing to look at him. “Sam I’m so sorry, this is just a huge misunderstanding.”
“No, Danny. It’s not. You were going to turn me down to go out with someone else.”
“But that someone was still you!”
“Yeah, but you didn’t know that! We’ve been friends for years, and you were more interested in someone you just met a few months ago! I don’t want to be anyone’s second choice, Danny! I’ve been standing by for years as you continuously chose other girls over me. I thought we were done with that, and that you were finally choosing me first, but you won’t and you never will and I’m so stupid.” Sam put her head in her hands as she tried her hardest not to let tears fall. 
And that was when he finally figured it out. It wasn’t just the moment of rejection, it was years of rejection, and at her biggest confession, she still thought he was choosing someone over her. Not to mention, Tucker witnessed most of the conversation. Sam rarely showed her emotions. She always had her heart guarded, and he knew this. Tucker knew this. Hell, she didn’t even tell them she was rich until after a few years of friendship. It took them a while to get her to open up to them. She was a pretty private person. She was probably already hurt like this before. And now, she was probably embarrassed.
“You’re definitely not stupid. I’m stupid. I should have known it was you. That was actually what I really liked about Chaos, she reminded me of you.” 
Sam forced a small sarcastic laugh, “Yeah, right.” 
“No really,” Danny sat on the couch next to her and grabbed her hand, placing it in both of his. “Sam, you’re absolutely incredible. How dumb would I have to be to not notice?” Sam gave him a pointed look. “Okay yeah but it’s not the way you think it is. I liked Chaos because she was a lot like you. She reminded me of you. And it just seemed easier to go with her because she was basically you, but she and I didn’t have a really great friendship that could have gotten ruined if we broke up or something. I could live without her, but I can’t live without you. You’re always my number one. Always have been, always will be. Even if I did just fuck everything up. I’m so sorry, Sam. I’m ready to be with you, if you’ll still have me.” 
Sam stayed silent and stared at her lap, processing this new information. Of course she would forgive him; she always did. She just needed a little time. 
Danny was getting nervous that he really did fuck this up for good. This was so fucking important! He couldn’t risk fucking this up! Sensing her hesitation, Danny tried one more thing to get her back. One thing he hasn’t done before. One thing he just learned how to perfect.  
“Sammy, I’m sorry,” a duplicate popped up next to her on the other side of the couch, startling her. 
“Please forgive me?” Another duplicate was floating in front of her, hanging upside down, hair flopping all over the place. 
“I know I’m a dummy but,” Sam snapped her head towards a third duplicate. 
“I’m only a dummy because I’m in love. With you,” the real Danny finished. Sam looked back and forth between all the Dannys.  
“We’re sorry, Sammy,” all the duplicates said at once. 
Sam was trying really hard to hold back a smile. “You learned how to duplicate,” she stated simply. 
Original Danny grabbed her hands. “Sam. I will make this up to you. I promise.” 
She could hear the determination in his voice and sighed. “You better.” 
Danny smiled and hugged her. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!! I love you so much!”
Sam pushed him off of her. “I love you too, you fucking idiot.” 
“But I get to be your idiot!” Sam couldn’t hold her laughter back anymore. “Oh!” Danny shouted, “Will you go to the dance with me? Please?” 
Sam pretended to ponder the answer before saying “alright”. 
“Yay!” All 4 Dannys cheered. The duplicates on either side of her kissed her cheeks as the real Danny kissed her forehead tenderly. The final duplicate, feeling left out, squeezed his way in to give her a hug. 
Sam was now roaring with laughter before kissing the real Danny sweetly. “You know, duplicates won’t always get you out of trouble,” she warned. 
“Yeah, but they could come in handy for other things,” he wagged his eyebrows up and down suggestively before passionately kissing her, the duplicates kissing her neck and touching her in near-dangerous places. 
Sam bit back a moan, eyes lustful before smirking, “I think you just found a way to make it up to me.” She began dragging the real Danny and one of his duplicates back to his room. Fuck the movies.
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Text
The Voyager Bunch
Or, Rascals: Voyager Edition
-----
Based on this post
This is dedicated to @jellybeansarecool @bizships @emilie786 @joyful-voyager and @subtle-spock for providing ideas, encouragement, and for generally being really awesome people. Also they are the nicest folks ever. Go follow them.
This ain’t my first fanfiction rodeo, but it is my first Star Trek fanfiction rodeo so I beg for your patience. Also, I am perfectly aware that there are some plot holes in here. This is because I am an animal scientist, not a Starfleet physicist/biologist/whateverist. Swiss cheese also has holes and swiss cheese is good so please consider that.
Click here to read on AO3, if you prefer. Thanks for reading!
-----
Despite having only been a captain for a few years, Kathryn Janeway had seen more unusual occurrences, courtesy of the Delta Quadrant, than most Starfleet captains combined. Some days, she felt a little overwhelmed by the summary of the last three years of experiences. Other days, she was grateful for the callouses such challenges had built over her nerves, preparing her to face even the strangest incidents without panicking.
Today was a day to be grateful, because without having seen everything she had seen, the prospect of her Chief Engineer, Chief of Security, Head Helmsman, and most brilliant Ensign being reverted into child-like versions of themselves would have launched her straight into a spiral of panic.
“How-” Janeway paused for a moment to pinch the bridge of her nose, “how exactly did this happen?”
“Well, ya see, ‘Lanna and Harry and I were in that shuttle and then this big black thing showed up and we flew into it and there was a big flash and-”
Janeway held a hand up, cutting off the shockingly fast string of prattle. “I think I understand that part, Tom, thank you.” She spoke as gently and patiently as possible. “What I don’t understand is how Tuvok got into this.... predicament.”
She turned toward the tallest of the four children, who stood with his hands behind his back in a way that would have been exactly like Tuvok, if the pre-teen boy weren’t fidgeting with the hem of his shirt and looking around the bridge, open mouthed and starry-eyed. “Tuvok?”
The Vulcan turned toward her. “The shuttle was stuck in the anomaly and the tractor beam wasn’t working, so I rammed my ship into theirs to dislodge it.” Tuvok nearly smiled, which was jarring to see on his features, no matter how much younger he looked. “It worked, but I got sucked into the anomaly too. When we came out the other side, we looked like this.”
He motioned to Tom and B’Elanna, who were standing next to him, both of which appeared to be around the age of 5 or 6. Harry, who looked to be about a year old, was currently tucked into Chakotay’s arms, playing contentedly with the rank bar at the large man’s throat.
Janeway looked the group over, ignoring the humored smiled playing at her first officer’s lips. With a sigh, she turned to the members of her senior officer team that were not currently under the age of 13. “I’m open to suggestions.”
“I would like to run some experiments first, but I am wondering if I can age their DNA back to the correct age in a process similar to the one I used to turn you and Mr. Paris back into humans after the, ah, Warp 10 incident,” The Doctor said.
“That might put their bodies back at the right age,” Kes said, brow furrowing, “but their minds appear to have reverted to their new biological age as well. Will the DNA reversal process fix that?”
The Doctor tilted his head. “I’m unsure. I need more time to research and run simulations.”
Janeway nodded. “Get started on that right away. In the meantime,” she turned back to the children and her commander, “let’s get you four something to eat.” 
Neelix jumped to his feet, practically lighting up the room with his enthusiasm. “I’ll fix you kiddos up something real nice!” He dashed over to the door with a wild grin. “Give me ten minutes, and I’ll have the best grilled cheese sandwich you’ve ever smelt!” He saluted the whole room and practically bounced out the door.
Janeway glanced over at Chakotay who, for the first time since he had picked up baby Harry, looked nervous. His worried glance met her own and he tilted his head.
“Well,” Chakotay sighed, “hopefully these guys aren’t as picky of eaters as I was.”
-----
As unappealing as Janeway found Neelix’s cooking to be, it was, apparently, perfect for kids, as evidenced by the unrestrained glee with which Tom, B’Elanna, and Tuvok devoured their sandwiches.
The captain couldn’t help but smile as Tom downed the second half of his sandwich in a few bites and think how the older version of Tom would have been appalled to see himself eating Neelix’s cooking with such enjoyment.
As the older children ate, Janeway found herself spooning some kind of mashed vegetable mix into Harry’s waiting mouth. At first, she was a little uncomfortable with the idea of feeding one of her best officers, but, once she was able to get past the strangeness of the entire situation, she found herself enjoying the funny expressions and eager attitude of the baby in front of her.
“Gosh, he’s such a cute baby.” She said with a grin for the fourth time.
Chakotay leaned over, his shoulder brushing hers as he smiled at Harry. “I’d like to agree with you, Captain, but you keep hogging him so I can’t get a good look.” He turned to look her in the eye, raising his eyebrow teasingly.
She shoved him playfully with her elbow. “You got to hold him earlier in the conference room. It’s my turn.”
“I think your turn ended about ten minutes ago,” he grinned.
“I think I can find something else for you to do if you’re going to take Harry away from me, Commander.” She returned his grin.
“Fine,” Chakotay shook his head with a chuckle, “but I get him later.”
-----
Several hours had passed since lunch and, much to Chakotay’s disappointment, baby Harry was still firmly in Janeway’s possession, perched on her hip and looking for all the world like he belonged there.
Chakotay tried not to think too much about how naturally Kathryn had taken to caring for Harry as he watched her pace the bridge, checking on various scanner readings and flight paths, from his position on the floor by their command chairs. Beside him, Tom and B’Elanna rolled a ball back and forth between them, excitedly chattering about... well... everything.
“Do you think the whales were really THAT big?” Tom spread his arms out to the side.
“Yeah they were!” B’Elanna exclaimed loudly enough that the entire ship could probably hear it. Despite Chakotay’s best efforts to get her to lower her voice, the young girl seemed to only have one volume. “I saw a big fake one in a museum once and it was HUGE!”
“Whoa!” Tom’s eyes widened. “Bigger than this ship?”
B’Elanna tilted her head. “I don’t know, but it was definitely bigger than me!”
The two kids laughed, rolling the ball back and forth faster.
“Hey Tom?”
“What?”
“You’re my best friend!” B’Elanna suddenly reached forward and gave Tom a hug.
Chakotay glanced up at Kathryn to exchange a look of awe before he turned back to the kids on the floor. “But B’E, I thought you just said a few minutes ago that I’m your best friend.” He raised an eyebrow, hiding his smile.
The young girl gave him a look that he had seen far too many times on her older counterpart’s face whenever he said something particularly dumb. “I can have two best friends, duh.”
He laughed. “Fair enough.”
Suddenly, he saw Kathryn’s purposeful walk stop out of the corner of his eye. 
“Chakotay,” her voice was even and tense, “where’s Tuvok?”
Eyes widening, Chakotay glanced around the bridge. Tuvok was no where to be seen.
“Chakotay to Tuvok.” He stood as he tapped his commbadge. “Tuvok, please acknowledge.” They waited a moment and, upon receiving no response, moved simultaneously toward the turbolift. 
“It’s possible he hasn’t figured out how to use his comm.” Janeway tucked Harry closer to her side as they stepped into the lift. “Computer: locate Tuvok.”
“Unable to comply.”
Janeway gave the ceiling a glare. “Why?”
The computer did not respond.
“Maybe the de-aging effect has made it difficult for the computer to locate him.” Chakotay rested a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sure he’s alright; he’s probably just exploring the ship; you saw how amazed he was by everything in the conference room earlier.”
She nodded tightly. “Let’s hope so. Where do you think he’s gone?”
“Maybe to the holodeck?”
“Or his quarters.”
“What about the mess hall?”
“He just ate.”
They both paused, mulling it over.
“Alright.” Kathryn straightened. “I’ll check holodeck one and his quarters, you check holodeck two and the mess hall.” She turned back to the lift door. “Holodeck one.”
Chakotay swallowed around the lump in his throat, trying not to think of all the ways a small child could get hurt on a spaceship like Voyager. As the turbolift began to move, Janeway’s badge chirped.
“Kes to the captain.”
Her brow raised as she tapped the emblem. “Go ahead.”
“I think I’ve found something you’re missing.” Kes’s usually lighthearted tone was even lighter, clear amusement seeping through.
Kathryn turned to look Chakotay in the eye, a hopeful smile brightening her face. “I’m on my way.”
-----
Honestly, Janeway was a little ashamed of the fact that she didn’t think to go looking for her best friend among the orchids and other plants in the aeroponics bay, considering his horticulturally-related hobbies. As she and Chakotay stepped into the room, smiles crept onto both of their faces as they watched Tuvok carefully transfer one of Kes’s sprouts to a bigger pot. After patting the soil around the plant firmly, he wiped a hand across his forehead, smearing dirt on his face to match the dirt on his uniform.
Kes smiled up at the command team. “He came down and asked about a hundred questions about our system and then offered to help me with my work while we talked because its ‘more efficient to talk and work than simply talk.’” 
Janeway chuckled at Kes’s approximation of Tuvok’s speech pattern. “Thanks for letting us know, Kes.” She reluctantly handed Harry to Chakotay, who flashed his dimples, and crouched next to Tuvok. “Hello there.”
Tuvok glanced up quickly before resuming his work. “Hello, Captain. Did you know that these Talaxian green beans take only a week and a half to reach maturity?”
“I did not.” Janeway raised a brow and tilted her head. “That’s very impressive.”
“I thought so too when Kes told me.” He patted the soil around another plant and set it aside, retrieving another sprout.
“Tuvok,” the captain reached forward and rested a hand on his shoulder, “I’m glad you’ve found something to do, but you have to tell someone where you’re going before you wander off. We didn’t know what happened to you and Chakotay and I were really worried.”
Behind her, Chakotay’s heart flipped. There was something rather... intimate about the way she had referred to both of them being worried about a child.
“I’m sorry, Captain.” Tuvok nodded his head. “It won’t happen again.”
“Good.” Janeway smiled and stood. “Why don’t you help Kes down here for a while and then come back up to the bridge when you are ready?” She looked at Kes. “That is, if Kes is alright with that.”
The young woman smiled. “Of course, I’d love some help.”
Janeway nodded and turned back to Tuvok. “Be sure to let us know when you’re on your way back up.”
“Of course, Captain.”
She patted him one last time on the shoulder and turned back to Chakotay. They fell into step beside one another and entered the elevator.
As the doors whooshed closed, Janeway turned to Chakotay with the intention of reclaiming Harry, but stopped. A smile grew across her lips as she watched Chakotay bounce Harry gently, allowing the little boy to palm his tattoo in curiosity. Even as one of Harry’s chubby fingers poked him in the eye, Chakotay simply chuckled and took the tiny hand in his own.
He finally turned to look at her. “What?”
Kathryn just shook her head, grinning wider. “I was going to take Harry from you, but I can’t bear to break up this cute little arrangement.” She motioned to the two of them with a long finger.
The corner of Chakotay’s mouth kicked up a little higher. “Captain, did you just imply that I’m cute?”
Her brow arched, but her smile didn’t diminish. “It would be hard for anyone to look unappealing with a cute baby in their arms.”
Her heart stopped suddenly as she realized what she had just said. From the look of Chakotay’s face, he had caught it too. Implying that he and the baby were cute was one thing; calling him “appealing” was another. Before she could say anything else she might regret, Kathryn turned back to the lift door, schooling her features back into the face of the Captain.
If she had turned but a half-second later, she would have seen a wide smile break across Chakotay’s face.
-----
“I’m sorry, Captain, but I need more time. I won’t deactivate myself until I have a solution, but this situation is very delicate and I can’t risk rushing my tests. You’ll need to find somewhere for the children to sleep. Hopefully I’ll have a solution tomorrow.”
Kathryn nodded. “Of course. Thank you, Doctor.”
With a grim smile, the feed from sickbay switched off, leaving her to look at her dark reflection in the black screen. Something like relief swept over help alongside a touch of regret. On one hand, she could really use her senior officers back in functioning shape. On the other hand....
Her eyes drifted back down to Harry, who had pulled a bit of her hair out of it’s ponytail and was curling it around his tiny fist in unbreakable fascination. A smile tugged at her lips as she cuddled him a bit closer. 
She could get used to this.
The thought struck her before she even knew what she was feeling and, as soon as she admitted it to herself, she took that feeling and shoved it as deep into the recesses of her mind as she could. She was the captain of a ship that was constantly in danger and she shouldn’t dwell on things she couldn’t have.
Kathryn sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. “Well, Harry, looks like we need to find you a place to sleep.”
Turning back to the computer, she moved to set him down so she could use both hands to search the crew quarters layouts for a suitable place to keep the children overnight. As soon as Harry’s feet touched the ground, a wail rose from the back of his throat and his face scrunched.
Kathryn quickly scooped him back up. “Harry? What’s wrong?”
The boy’s cry of protest faded into whimpers and he buried his head in her shoulder, clinging to her tightly.
A warm feeling washed over her. “Ah,” she smiled, “I see.”
She pulled him closer and turned back to the computer, tapping buttons with one hand. “You can stay up here with me, then.”
The door to her quarters chimed.
“Come in.” 
Before she could turn to greet her guest, mischievous giggles rose from the door. Eyebrow raised, she whirled around to find Chakotay standing in the doorway, a stack of PADDs in his hand, a tiny engineer on his left leg, and a tiny helmsman on his right.
He stepped forward with far less difficultly than she would have expected, given the extra weight on his legs. He crossed the room quickly and passed the PADDs to her. “The crew reports you requested.”
“Thank you.” She smiled, glancing down at the still giggling forms. “Not to alarm you, Commander, but it would seem that you have a couple of lifeforms attached to you.”
Chakotay’s eyes grew wide in mock surprise. “Really?” He turned his head and shuffled around, as if to look at his back. “Where?”
Tom and B’Elanna’s laughter grew. Suddenly, Chakotay leaned over and scooped the two of them off his legs, lifting them both up over his shoulders as their shrieked in delight.
He turned back to Kathryn with a wide smile. “Not to worry, Captain, I’ve apprehended the life forms.” 
She smiled back with a soft chuckle. “We need to find a place for the life forms to stay tonight.”
Chakotay’s smile faded into a more serious, but not displeased look. “The Doctor doesn’t have a solution yet, then?” He lowered Tom and B’Elanna to the ground. They scampered off to the viewport, excitedly chattering about the stars.
“No, he needs a bit more time.”
Chakotay nodded. “Maybe I could take them for the night, that way someone is there to keep an eye on them.”
Kathryn shook her head. “I have no doubt in your babysitting abilities, Commander, but four children is a lot for one person to watch alone and your quarters are not big enough for Trouble 1 and Trouble 2 to run around in.” She gestured to the kids at the window. 
“Fair point. Maybe I should take Harry and Tuvok then, and you could take Tom and B’Elanna?”
She turned Harry away from Chakotay. “Trying to take my boy again, are you Chakotay?” 
He chuckled and shook his head. “Do you have another idea, then, Mom?”
Her breath caught in her throat, but she managed to smirk at him and continue speaking without any indication that his previous sentence had impacted her. “My quarters are the largest on the ship. If we set up cots here in my living room we could easily both keep an eye on the children overnight.”
“Sounds good to me.” He glanced up at the clock on the wall. “How about I go collect Tuvok from aeroponics and some food from the mess hall while you get the cots set up?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
He gave her one last lingering smile, which she returned, before heading out the door and down the hall.
-----
Apparently the lunch they had shared earlier that day had been misleadingly easy. Supper was, to put it lightly, a challenge.
“B’Elanna, eat your own food and stop taking from Tom’s plate,” Kathryn said firmly.
“But Tom isn’t eating it!”
“I was going to eat it! I’m just a slower eater than you are!”
“Well eat faster then!”
“B’Elanna!” Chakotay set down the spoon he had been using to feed Harry and fixed her with a stern look. “That food isn’t yours, and Kathryn already asked you to stop taking Tom’s food. You won’t be asked again.”
B’Elanna mumbled out an apology and stuffed another bite of her own meal into her mouth.
Kathryn shot Chakotay a grateful smile and turned to Tuvok, who was holding up one of his vegetables to the light. “Tuvok? What are you doing?”
“I’m looking at the xylem and phloem of this plant.”
She bit back a smile. “I appreciate your curiosity, Tuvok, but I need you to stop studying your food and start eating it.”
The young Vulcan turned to her and nodded. “Of course.” He politely chewed and swallowed his food and turned back to the captain. “Did you know that this particular plant is a distant cousin of Terran broccoli? You can tell by the-”
Chakotay smiled as he watched Kathryn listen to Tuvok’s fourth lecture of the evening on plant biology. Neither of them were certain of what he was talking about most of the time, but his enthusiasm for the subject was nearly infectious and neither of them minded listening.
“Chakotay?”
He turned away from the scene across the table and looked at Tom next to him. “Yes?”
“After dinner, will you read to us?”
“Of course.” Chakotay smiled and ruffled Tom’s hair. “Anything particular you want to hear?”
“I want to hear about your missions with the Maquis!” B’Elanna bounced in her seat, all of that barely-contained Klingon energy starting to spill over. 
“Or perhaps you could read to us from a classic story,” Tuvok raised a brow. “I’m fond of the works of Tolkien, maybe Tom and B’Elanna would like ‘The Hobbit’ too?”
“What’s a hobbit?” Tom’s face scrunched in confusion.
“Maybe,” Kathryn interjected before Tuvok could give a detailed recounting of the beloved childhood book, “Chakotay could tell us a story from his tribe.” Her eyes met his across the table. “He is pretty good at recounting ancient legends.”
Heat crept up the sides of Chakotay’s face as he held her stare. “Maybe.”
“Nah,” Tom’s voice broke through the pleasant tension between them. “I wanna know what a hobbit is!”
Chakotay chuckled. “Alright, ‘The Hobbit’ it is.”
-----
It took some time to get the older three to settle into bed, but finally, they began to yawn and snuggle deeper under their blankets. As their heads grew heavier, Chakotay wrapped up his story telling and the command team began to tuck their young companions in for the night.
As Chakotay wished Tom and Tuvok a good night’s rest, Kathryn carefully extracted B’Elanna from where she was snuggled into her side and took her over to her cot. As she got the small girl settled, she suddenly reached up and captured Kathryn in a tight hug. Surprised, Kathryn’s eyes widened, but she returned the gesture in earnest.
“Kathryn?”
“Yes, B’Elanna?”
“You’re my best friend.”
Kathryn blinked and pulled back to look B’Elanna in the eyes with a small smile. “I thought Chakotay and Tom were your best friends.”
“I can have more than one best friend.” B’Elanna’s voice was filled with deep confidence, despite how sleep-laced it was.
“Fair enough,” Kathryn chuckled, pulling the blankets tightly around the girl. “Goodnight.”
She met Chakotay in her bedroom, Harry still in his arms.
“Any time I try to set him down he starts crying.” Chakotay grinned sheepishly. 
She grinned back. “I had a similar experience earlier today.” She reached up and brushed hand over the boy’s soft, black hair. “Its a good thing he weighs next to nothing.”
At Kathryn’s gentle touch, Harry stirred. His dark eyes found Kathryn’s and he reached out for her. With a look of mock hurt, Chakotay transferred the boy to his desired location.
“I’m trying not to be offended right now, Harry.”
Kathryn simply grinned and bounced the baby in her arms gently. “It’s alright, Chakotay. He has excellent taste.”
Chakotay shook his head, dimples flashing. “I suppose I can’t argue with that.”
She turned toward the bed and settled herself on one side, her back resting against the pillows and Harry resting against her chest. “Let’s see if we can get this one sleepy enough to not notice if we set him down.” She looked back at Chakotay, who was still standing, rather awkwardly. She patted the bed next to her with a smirk. “Come on, Commander. Get some rest. We’ve has a big day, wrangling the kiddos.”
He smiled and crossed the room to the other side of the bed, gently sitting next to her, his legs stretched out. “It has been a long day,” he said with a sigh. “But, I can’t say I haven’t enjoyed it.” He tilted his head to look at Kathryn, who was already looking up at him.
“Nor I.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.
Suddenly, Chakotay was very aware of how close their faces were. He watched as Kathryn’s eyes slid down to his lips. Before he could do something he couldn’t take back, he took a deep breath and turned away.
“Well,” Kathryn cleared her throat, sounding more like the Captain now, “it’s been fun but we should get some sleep. I’ll keep an eye on Harry here and take him to his cot in a few minutes. You should go ahead and rest, Commander.”
“Of course.” He tilted his head and gave her a small smile. “Goodnight, Kathryn.”
She grinned back. “Goodnight, Chakotay.”
-----
Apparently, Kathryn didn’t stay awake long enough to take Harry back to his cot, as evidenced by the weight on her chest as she stirred awake the next morning. She slowly became aware of her surroundings and the previous day’s events came flooding back to her.
She also became distinctly aware of the warm, comfortable presence beside her. As she opened her eyes, she realized that her first officer’s arm was settled around her shoulders and that his shoulder was currently her pillow. His head rested atop hers and the hand that was not draped around her shoulders was resting on top of Harry’s back next to her own.
The situation was all rather snuggly and, were it not a violation of every professional barrier Kathryn had erected between her and the commander, she would have had no issue in savoring the moment.
Then again.... maybe she could allow herself just a few moments to pretend that the baby in her arms wasn’t her star technical officer and that the man holding her close wasn’t her XO and that this was a perfectly normal situation.
Before she could get too far into her fantasy, however, Chakotay stirred next to her, his dark eyes fluttering open to find her own.
“Good morning,” he said, his voice huskier than her own as sleep clung to it.
“Good morning.” 
They looked at each other for a moment before Chakotay carefully extracted himself from her side, helping her up so she could carefully place Harry in his cot in the living room without waking the boy or the other children who were still sleeping. Without a word, they quietly prepared breakfast and coffee, steeling themselves for another day of handling the kids.
-----
“I’m afraid I’m a bit.... stuck,” The Doctor ground out with obvious difficulty.
The captain raised an eyebrow. The EMH admitting that he was struggling to solve a problem was a rare instance indeed. “How so?”
With a huff, The Doctor turned back to his desk, flipping through experimental results from a stack of PADDs. “Kes was right; the DNA reversal process I initially thought might work will not account for the de-aging of the officers’ brains, so I decided to look at the type of radiation that might have caused this and, to be completely honest, Captain,” he turned back to look her in the eye, “I have absolutely no idea how this even happened. There’s no evidence of radiation, the temporal energy around them is unidentifiable, and I can’t figure out how their cells and their minds were reversed.” He lowered his head. “I’m unsure of how to even proceed from here.”
Kathryn nodded, taking the emotions that were beginning to tumble in her chest and stuffing them as far down as she could. “Very well, Doctor. Take a rest and we can all come back to the issue later once we’ve had time to think.” She rested a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up. “Don’t despair yet; there’s a lot of other brilliant minds on this ship besides your own. We’ll figure it out together.” She smiled and gave his shoulder a squeeze before heading into the turbolift.
As the doors slid open, she found Tuvok waiting in the lift for her. She smiled down at him and stepped inside, calling for the bridge.
“Chakotay to the captain.”
She tapped her badge. “Go ahead.”
“We need you on the bridge, there’s a bit of a situation.”
She raised a brow, glancing down at Tuvok, who was gazing at her intently. “On my way.”
-----
“So they want to.... interview us?”
“They want to interview you specifically.”
“To see if we are worthy of going through their space.”
“Something like that.”
“And going around their space isn’t an option?”
“It would add another 7 months to our journey, so this interview is our ideal option.”
“No pressure, eh, Commander?” Janeway shifted Harry from one hip to the other with a long sigh. “Alright. Hail them.”
After a moment, a blue and red humanoid alien appeared on the screen.
“Greetings, Ambassador.” The Captain flashed a polite smile. “I’m Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager.”
The alien woman inclined her head. “Hello, Captain Janeway, I’m Ambassador Tel Parah of the Doonian Delegation.” Her eyes swept the bridge. “You’re ship is heavily armed, which, according to the laws of our people, requires that we do a personal interview of the commanding officer to ensure that violence or other manners of chaos will not be instigated as you pass through our space.”
“Of course, I understand.” Janeway smiled again. “What questions may I answer for you?”
Over the course of the next 30 minutes, Janeway was grilled on their purpose in passing through Doonian space, the types and numbers of weapons they carried, and the journey they had made so far. Just as Janeway thought there wasn’t possibly anything more she could tell them, Ambassador Parah paused and looked up from the computer device in her hand to study Janeway. After a moment, she spoke again.
“Just one more thing, Captain Janeway,” a slow smile slipped onto her face, “What’s your son’s name? He’s absolutely precious.”
Janeway raised her eyebrows in surprise and glanced down at Harry, who she had nearly forgotten was still in her arms. At some point, he had removed her combadge and was currently turning it over and over again in his tiny hands, taking a moment here and there to bite parts of the object he must have found particularly interesting. Kathryn exchanged an amused glace with Chakotay, who shrugged off screen, before turning back to the ambassador. 
“This is Harry.” Janeway smiled, turning the boy so the ambassador could see him better.
The other woman smiled widely. “How adorable. He has the brightest eyes.”
“He does.” Kathryn smiled back down at him.
“You know,” Parah leaned back in her chair, “I usually don’t allow anyone through our space that isn’t from a system or planet we are already know and trust and so I wasn’t planning on letting Voyager pass. However, when I saw your baby and how well-cared for and happy he seems, I felt that I could trust you somehow.” She smiled again. “We value children highly in the Doonien Delegation. Children are often a reflection of a parent’s character. I can tell by Harry’s disposition and curiosity that you are of a fine character, Captain.”
Janeway cuddled Harry a little closer, heart warming. “Thank you, Ambassador, I take that as a high compliment.”
“As you should.” Parah leaned forward again. “You may pass through our space. We will have you stop at three checkpoints on your way though which I will send you the coordinated for in a moment. Have a safe journey.”
The screen went blank and Kathryn turned to Chakotay.
“Should I feel bad that I let her believe Harry is my son?”
Chakotay chuckled, stepping close enough and lowering his voice enough that the rest of the bridge could pretend not to hear him. “Are you saying he’s not?”
Her gaze grew softer. “I guess he’s sort of been like a son to me since we got on board.” She looked back down at him. “I feel very protective of him.”
Chakotay rested a hand on her shoulder. “I know.”
They smiled at each other again. Chakotay opened his mouth to say something more but, suddenly, there was a tug at Kathryn’s elbow.
“Captain? Now that the negotiations are over, I think I have an idea about how to fix Tom, B’Elanna, Harry, and me.” Tuvok’s eyes were bright and eager.
“Alright,” Captain Janeway smiled down at him. “Let’s get The Doctor up here and we’ll hear your idea together.”
-----
Chakotay exchanged glances with The Doctor and the Captain over the table as he bounced both Tom and B’Elanna on his knees. “Could that really work? It seems almost too easy.”
“Well, if this is a phenomena that’s inexplicable and is tied only to the anomaly the shuttles passed through, I feel like sending the children back through isn’t our worst idea.” The captain rubbed the back of her neck. “Doctor?”
The holographic man continued typing into his PADD for a moment before stopping and reading. “I- I honestly think this could work.” He slid the PADD over to Janeway. “It’s hard to predict, since we have no idea what exactly caused this, but if we send the shuttles through the anomaly opposite of the way they first went through, I think it just might turn them back to their usual ages.”
“How do we know it won’t just make them even younger?” Chakotay watched as B’Elanna slipped off of his knee, pulling Tom along with her to go play in the corner.
“We’d have to run some tests to be sure that they don’t. Perhaps we could send a plant through first, or some other organic life form.” The Doctor took the PADD back and made a note.
“We would also have to make sure that, if the tests show some promise, Tuvok can take the shuttle back through the anomaly.” Janeway turned to the boy sitting at her right. “Well, Tuvok? Do you think you could pilot the shuttle?”
He shook his head. “Since I don’t have my older self’s memories I don’t think I could.”
“We could use the tractor beam to send the shuttle through,” Chakotay said. “If we give them enough of a push to go through the anomaly, they should be able to pilot themselves back to Voyager once they get out the other side and have returned to their normal ages.”
Janeway raised her eyebrows. “Well, it’s worth a shot and I don’t have any better ideas. Commander, set a course for the anomaly. Doctor, prepare the experiments.”
-----
Tom and B’Elanna seemed to sense that something was up as they suddenly became even more clingy. The whole trip back to the anomaly, B’Elanna shared the captain’s chair with Kathryn, insisting with all of her Klingon passion that the older woman tell her more stories from earlier in their journey through the Delta Quadrant. At the helm, Tom hung on to Chakotay’s arm, watching the stars go by and asking Chakotay a hundred questions about piloting starships. Tuvok sat in Chakotay’s usual seat, interjecting with questions of his own here and there, and Harry sat on Kathryn’s knee, chewing on her jacket sleeve, her combadge still clutched tightly in his left hand.
After they reached the anomaly, it took a couple of hours for The Doctor to complete his experiments and, once he had declared that plants that had gone through the anomaly twice were returned to the same age the started as, they began preparing the children to enter the anomaly themselves. 
“Will it hurt?” B’Elanna asked in the smallest voice she had ever used in her life as Kathryn tucked the small Starfleet uniform that she had come through the anomaly with around her shoulders.
“It won’t,” Tuvok said. “It didn’t hurt when we came through the first time, did it?”
She shook her head, but didn’t look very reassured.
“It’s okay, ‘Lanna!” Tom grabbed her hand. “I’ll be right beside you.”
Kathryn stood and took a step back, feeling almost as if someone had filled her chest with some of Neelix’s heavy stew. She had to let them go, of course, this wasn’t the way they were supposed to be, but she was certainly going to miss seeing the level of innocence her officers had now. B’Elanna was unburdened by trust issues, Tuvok was passionate and bright, and Tom - well, she supposed he hadn’t changed all that much, but at least he seemed to be genuinely happy, not just putting up a front of humor to protect himself.
It would be hard to see them go back, but maybe, now that she understood how the world and time had changed her friends, she could help them.
She was shaken from her thoughts by a tug at her collar. She looked down to see Harry pulling at her pips, completely enamored by the gold metal.
“Oh, Harry.” She nearly choked on his name. Since he was so young now, she didn’t have any insight into his personality after having seen him as a baby, but she was going to miss his innocent curiosity and familiar weight on her hip.
Before she could think too much about it, she handed Harry over to Tuvok. The younger boy scrunched his face up and whimpered at the change of hands, but Tuvok bounced him gently and he settled down, reaching for the pointed tip of Tuvok’s ear.
Kathryn took a step back, feeling Chakotay step up behind her so that they were nearly touching. “Best of luck, you four.” She gave them her most reassuring smile. “See you on the other side.”
She and Chakotay hurried up the bridge and gave the go ahead for the ensign who had taken over Harry’s post to begin using the tractor beam to move the shuttle out into the anomaly. They stood side-by-side on the bridge and watched the shuttle go through. At come point, they grabbed each other’s hands and squeezed each other tightly.
There was a flash as the shuttle passed through the anomaly. After a few terrifyingly quiet moments, the shuttle came bursting out of the other side and a voice crackled over the comm.
“Cochran to Voyager,” confusion leaked through Tom’s voice. “What the hell just happened?”
Kathryn and Chakotay smiled at each other in relief. “What’s the last thing you remember, Tom?” Chakotay asked.
“B’Elanna, Harry, and I were coming back to Voyager when we- wait a second, how did you get here, Tuvok?”
Janeway laughed. “Why don’t we get you four back on board and then we’ll explain everything.”
“Copy that. See you in a few.” Tom’s voice grew quieter, like he was leaning away from the comm. “I have a feeling this is going to be one heck of a story.”
-----
After everyone had been debriefed and left to process the last two days of strangeness, Chakotay found Kathryn in her favorite spot; on her couch and staring wistfully out at the stars as they drifted past. She had shucked her jacket and taken her hair out of it’s clip, leaving her in her grey turtleneck with her hair falling around her shoulders and face.
“Got a lot on your mind?”
She turned to smile at him, a note of sadness in her eyes. “It’s been an interesting couple of days.”
He settled on the couch a ways down, turning to face her. “It sure has.” He was quiet for a moment. “I’m going to miss our kids.”
“Me too. It was fun having little ones around, playing at being a parent.” She fidgeted with the seam on the couch. “It was different and they sure did give us some challenges,” she chuckled, “but I loved it.” 
“Have you ever thought about having kids of ou-” he coughed, “your own?” 
Her crystal blue gaze caught his. “Yes.” She smiled and looked out the window again. “I always thought someday I would be a mother.” With a snort and a smirk, she continued; “Of course, I never thought I’d be mothering my helmsman, security officer, engineer, and technical officer.”
Chakotay laughed softly. “I think you were mothering them before they were turned into actual children.”
“Perhaps.” A pause. “What about you? Did you ever think about being a father? Outside of the whole instance with Seska, of course.”
He nodded. “When I was in the Maquis, no. My life was too fast-paced to be a proper father. If I was going to be a dad, I wanted to do it right and I couldn’t have done that from a Maquis ship.” He took a deep breath. “After joining this crew, though.... I’m in a better place now, and I think I’d be thrilled to be a father.” He looked over at Kathryn to find that she was already looking at him with something like wonder in her eyes. He held her gaze for a moment and, finally finding a bit of courage, he said: “I’m more at peace.”
A smiled played at the corners of her lips, and her eyes looked a little like they were silver-lined, though Chakotay couldn’t quite tell for sure in the low light of her quarters.
“You were really good with the kids. You would make an excellent father, I have no doubt.”
He smiled. “You would make an excellent mother. You’re a natural.”
“Thank you, but I barely felt like I knew what I was doing.” She chuckled.
“You could have fooled me.” He grinned for a moment, before his countenance grew more serious. “I hope you get your wish someday, Kathryn. I hope you get to be a mother.”
She was quiet for a moment, and Chakotay suddenly felt his chest tighten. Had he said too much.
Before he could fall too far into his panic, her hand slid over to his, giving it a squeeze. He looked up into her eyes, which definitely had tears in them now.
“I hope you get to be a father too Chakotay. Someday.”
He squeezed her hand back and they both fell into a comfortable silence, enjoying the view of the stars outside Kathryn’s window.
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ticklyfluffers · 3 years
Text
Sensitive Seeker-TF TK Fic
Repost of fan fiction of mine.
To think, it all started with just a simple gesture.
Thundercracker mused in how he had gotten to the scene he stood in now: Starscream shooting off blast after blast at Skywarp, yet the purple and black Seeker just treated the entire thing as some sort of game.
And, perhaps in some weird way, it was a game. As “‘playful” as a “self-respecting” Decepticon could be, he supposed. Yet still, he’d known he would need to separate the two (as always) eventually. Yet when to jump in was the question, as he was in no mood to have a shot of raw, stinging energy or a null ray being delivered to his facial region, should he intervene at the wrong time.
‘How did I get here, dealing with this?’ He questioned, inwardly groaning. It was a useless question, having already known the answer.
It had begun but a few short Earth minutes ago, at least, it had for him and Skywarp, yet for their Commander, it had begun but a few solar cycles ago (at least that measurement of time was fairly close to those used in this planet). Once again, Starscream noticed a, in his own words, “massive flaw” in one of Megatron’s bids to acquire more energy, and thus, just HAD to point it out and make sure everyone around him could hear it. This then led into the regular bickering, which led to the Seeker (once again) proclaiming he’d make a more suitable leader for the Decepticons, which led to Megatron “reminding” him of his place (once again), which resulted in a trip to the infirmary (once again).
And, while Thundercracker felt Starscream deserved to be told to keep his mouth shut, the blue Seeker found himself dreading what Megatron had planned for the Air Commander, as while it was Starscream’s punishment, somehow, in some way, it would affect his wingmates. Once again. Thankfully, it wasn’t overly extreme, mainly because Megatron had two locations of interest in mind, and probably declared that more worthy of his time than looking over his shoulder for his 2nd in Command’s potential assassination attempts. The Decepticon Leader had assigned Starscream and his wingmates to keep watch over the Space Bridge until the operation to seize control over the locations was completed or disregarded.
“And knowing our ‘glorious leader’, he’ll probably fail at this plan too.” Starscream grumbled to himself, arms folded over his chassis.
Thundercracker only sighed. Ever since he had come here, slag, back when was alerted of his duties, the Seeker had done nothing but complain over his leader’s orders. Of course, with a little “encouragement” from Soundwave (as in, alert Starscream he would be relieved of his wings for a good while if he didn’t do as he was told), their Air Commander (begrudgingly) accepted the assignment. Of course, now that they were here, Starscream had seen it as the perfect time to go ahead and start his tirade against Megatron again.
And suffice to say, it was beginning to get on his trine-mate’s nerves.
“Guard duty,” Starscream growled. “Of ALL the humiliating tasks he could’ve thrust on me...guard duty?!”
Skywarp began to shake, fists trembling until finally, he had finally reached his breaking point. “Is it possible for you to shut the frag up for at least a FEW cycles?! Is that too hard to ask?!”
Thundercracker was quite taken aback by the violet Seeker’s outburst. If anyone was being told to shut up, it was usually him. ‘Primus, he must be REALLY mad.’
“I’ll say whatever is slagging well please, thank you very much!” Starscream retorted, clenching his fists.
“Well go off and do it somewhere else away from me!” Skywarp argued back. “I’m getting sick of hearing that shrill dog whistle of a voice you’ve got!”
“Then get used to it, because I have no intention of stopping until I’m done!”
While he had no appreciation, let alone any sense of respect for it, since their arrival to this primitive world, some Decepticons had taken to using Earth expressions and terms in comparison to some more traditional, archaic language. The Casseticons were the worst out of these bots, outright using terms such as ‘dude’ and ‘man’, as well as copying much human cursing (a good portion of which humans based on their own bodily functions, to Thundercracker’s confusion). Skywarp, whether he had just decided that their regular curses weren’t enough, or he had been hanging out with Rumble and Frenzy on one too many assignments, decided to unleash everything that had been, as humans say, getting under his skin.
“Oh boo-hoo! You think YOU’RE the only one that doesn’t want to be here?!” the Seeker shouted, approaching Starscream. “This entire damn thing is your fault anyhow! You just HAD to go and run your mouth about how much Megatron’s plans suck and how YOU obviously had the better idea!”
“Because I do!” the Seeker Commander countered. “He wished to attack both locations at the same time, yet didn’t wish to better separate his forces into equal groups! Even if one was easier to access than the other, did he not think those blasted Autobots would just LET themselves be overtaken?!” he fumed, releasing a frustrated cry. “Bah! He had NO good reason to NOT send the Constructicons! There would’ve been no way that any of those slagging Auto-dorks would’ve stood a chance against Devastator! But NOOOOO! Apparently, they were needed elsewhere!”
“Because there was a crack in the hull,” Thundercracker interjected himself. True, he had little intention of getting involved, yet Starscream was forgetting one vital factor in Megatron’s decision. “The lower sections would’ve been at risk of getting worse and potentially breaking open. Then the entire Nemesis would’ve been flooded.”
“The pressure at the depths the ship’s at is far from enough to cause a breakage in such short a time!” Starscream argued. “We are situated in what the under evolved primates of this floating rock called the mesopelagic zone. True, we are away from the primary star of this current solar system, yet a majority of sea life in that area are perfectly capable of withstanding the water pressure. And they’re also organic, mind you!”
Skywarp scoffed. “You saying all that fancy mumbo-jumbo to make yourself sound smarter or something?”
“Hey, I WAS an accomplished scientist back in the Golden Era of Cybertron!”
“Of which you quit!” the purple and black Seeker countered. “And accomplished? That’s a fat load of shit, and you know it! I bet you only got a passing grade on whatever research logs you presented to those old farts running the academy!”
“Why you slagging piece of-”
“All right, both of you! That’s enough!” Thundercracker had decided that now was the time to step in, lest things start getting violent. Violence was an accepted part of Decepticon culture, seeing as many of their members had been forced to engage in it just to scrape by and survive via gladiatorial matches and other low ranking jobs (which didn’t house the most respectable of bots), yet the blue and black Seeker wasn’t in the mood in having to bring both of his wingmates into the infirmary because they decided to behave like a couple of Sparklings and duke it out.
That’s when the discovery had been made.
Thundercracker had pushed back against Skywarp’s chassis, yet he must’ve misjudged the distance between him and his oh-so-mature Commander (seriously, and he said Skywarp was the one who behaved like a sparkling). His servos made contact with the red and blue Seeker’s waistline, and that was when he and Skywarp heard it. It was a cross between a frightened gasp and an attempt to choke back laughter. Any anger between them had died that instant, replaced with curiosity and bewilderment. Their Commanding Officer was looking quite frazzled and on edge.
“Whoa, time out for a nano-second,” Skywarp said, lightly shoving Thundercracker off him. Nevertheless, he turned to him for confirmation. “You hear that too?” He then turned his attention to Starscream. “Hey, Screamer, what was that noise you made just now? And don’t say it’s nothing, I’ve got a witness right here!” Skywarp gestured to Thundercracker.
Starscream paled (even if there was no change of color) and stood there with wide, red optics. Nonetheless, he quickly straightened himself out and appeared to be cool and collected. “I was merely taken aback by Thundercracker’s sudden movements was all.” He explained, all the while trying to choose his next words very carefully. “You should be grateful he stepped in, lest I fire my null ray right in your face.” He glowered at the black and purple Seeker, hoping that his display would get his subordinate to back down.
But, as the humans said, no dice.
“Uh, correct me if I’m wrong-“ Skywarp began, taking a few steps toward, noticing how Starscream took a few steps back.
“And you are.” Starscream interrupted.
“But you seem a little nervous there.” The Seeker’s grinned. “All I’m asking is why you made that noise.”
Slag, Starscream thought. He wasn’t buying it. Ok, don’t panic. Just come up with another excuse. One that he surely couldn’t refute. “Well...it seems that my inner components are still a little sore from my last...disagreement with our all-wise and all-powerful leader.” He snarled that last part. Even if he were trying to get Skywarp off his back, it wasn’t all a lie. Hook had told him to take it slow for a few solar cycles for his internal repairs to mend the rest of him back together.
“Oh dear, are you ok?” Skywarp asked, an uncomfortable amount of mischievousness in his voice.
Slag. “Yes, I’m fine,” Starscream assured. “But...you shouldn’t touch me. In fact, I outright forbid it.”
Thundercracker analyzed the situation, looking back and forth between Skywarp and Starscream. He was puzzled at first regarding what had happened when he separated the two, yet given one Seeker’s predatory grin and the other’s excuses, it slowly dawned on him what was going on, as well as what Skywarp intended to do.
“Why?” He asked, taking a step towards Starscream while Starscream himself took a few steps back. “You took quite a bruising not too long ago. Maybe something is out of place or broken.”
“No! No, nothing is out of place or broken!” The SIC shook his head wildly.
“Are you sure? Because last time, you said Hook was a piss poor excuse for a medic.” Skywarp chuckled, raising his hands and spreading his servos out.
“Well, I think maybe he’s improved his craft these last few human weeks!” Starscream said, beginning to look around for any escape routes. “But...just in case, you shouldn’t touch anything! You could only make it worse!”
It was then that a familiar, magenta hue began to overtake the purple Seeker, Starscream’s optics widening in horror. “Why Starscream, I’m hurt! Do you think I’d actually hurt you?” He said coyly, optics fittingly red and devilish. “You’re my Commander, my trine-mate. It’s mine and Cracker’s job here to tend to your needs.”
Thundercracker gave a low growl, Skywarp knowing well how he hated being referred to by that name. Despite that though, he kept quiet.
“C’mon,” Skywarp cooed. Then, the magenta hue overtook his entire form, and in a flash, the Seeker was gone from sight.
“N-No! Stay away from me-“ Starscream shouted, yet was cut off when he felt digits traveling along his waistline.
“No need to be so tense.”
The reaction was immediate. Skywarp’s servos lightly stroked and scratched at the other Seeker’s ivory midsection, Starscream seizing up and doubling over, trying to get his “comrade” to release him.
“N-No! Stop it!” Starscream hollered, trying to grab at Skywarp’s hands. “I command you to-“ then out it came. “St-Sto-hoho-p!” A chortle caught in the middle of a demand (or was it a plea) to cease the infernal movements. Starscream had managed to wrench himself away from his assailant, but the damage was already done.
His terrible secret had been uncovered.
“No. Way.” Skywarp said. True, he suspected it, but to actually have confirmed blew his processor. “No. Fragging. Way!!!” He then pointed to his superior. “You’re ticklish!!!”
Now it was Thundercracker’s turn to be surprised, he looked at Starscream with bewilderment and shock. While it wasn’t a topic relatively discussed among themselves, he and the rest of the Decepticons would be fools if they didn’t acknowledge that their “hosts' ' shared more than a few qualities with the ones that had crashed landed on their planet millions of years ago. They were the only species to have similar civilizations to their own, same general body shape, they had an internal, skeletal structure that greatly resembled their own, lived as the dominant species on the planet (well, they were until the Decepticons and Autobots awoke), and fought and warred amongst themselves over the centuries. Yet when it came to the way their organic structure was put together, no one had an exact idea of how the human body functioned. Soundwave suggested gathering a few “lab rats'' and transporting them to Shockwave, yet so far, nothing else had come from that suggestion. Good thing too, Thundercracker felt such a thing was both unnecessary and, while he would never say it aloud, savage. But from what he had seen from Skywarp’s experiment, it seemed that they now were the ones to share the trait of ticklishness with the humans.
Starscream stood there, completely at a loss at what to say or do, processor scrambling to try and find something, anything, to keep the inevitable from happening. “I-I am not-AH!!!” He protested, only for Skywarp to teleport behind him and deliver a servo right in the crease where his hips met his waist. “Stop it!!!” He then aimed the weapon situated on his left shoulder in the other Seeker’s direction. “Try that again, and this null ray is going to blast you right in the face!”
Skywarp wasn’t the least bit intimidated. In fact, this just seemed to make him even more eager to go through with his plan. ”Primus, you’re acting like I’m going to kill you!”
“I’ll kill YOU if you get any closer! I mean it!” Starscream shouted, still aimed right at Skywarp’s head.
“Fine. Do it.” Skywarp laughed. “In fact, I doubt you’d be fast enough to hit me before I just warp out of the way.” He drew closer. “Well? I’m waiting.”
Thundercracker stood by, ready to jump in if things got too ugly. Starscream was cornered, he knew it, yet he seemed to be leaning much more into flight than fight. He looked to the blue Seeker as if trying to gain some support (or maybe a shield to use in case Skywarp made the first move), yet his optics mainly stayed on the third Seeker, trying to gauge what the next plan in his strategy was.
And it was then that Starscream made a critical decision. Frag it.
Immediately taking flight, Starscream transformed into his jet mode and zoomed off, leaving a long, cloudy trail as he departed.
“Oh no!” Skywarp declared, also transforming and chasing after his superior. “You’re not getting away that easily!”
“The slag do you think you’re going?! Get back here!!!” Thundercracker bellowed, yet either Skywarp didn’t hear or just outright disregarded his command, because he and Starscream flew off, leaving him alone.
Why did he always have to be the one to reign those two in?
“Aw, c’mon! I’ll go easy on you if that’ll get you to slow down!”
“NO!!!”
“I’m not going to hurt ya!”
“That makes it worse!!!”
“Don’t be such a baby!”
“Frag you!!!”
Back and forth the two Seekers went, Skywarp going back between promising to be ‘gentle’ with his Commander to outright declaring that resistance was futile, and Starscream shot back with threats of murder and dismemberment. All of which didn’t deter Skywarp a bit.
Seeing that the other jet was gaining on him, the Decepticon SIC went as fast as he could to where he was certain he would blow out his thrusters, yet he had to veer over to the side when Skywarp appeared before him via teleportation. He dove upwards, yet found his route blocked by the purple and black Seeker cutting him off via a barrel roll. Starscream went in the opposite direction, yet found himself cut off there as well, Skywarp just barely colliding into him.
“Hey, watch it!!!” he hollered. “You could’ve clipped my vertical stabilizer!!!”
“Then stop flying off and I won’t have to get drastic!” Skywarp shot back, yet inside his alt-mode, he was grinning ear to ear. Or at least he would be if he had any. “Try all you want, I’m not letting up anytime soon!”
“Then you’re going to be doing this for a long time because I have no intention of stop-” Starscream was interrupted by the horrific sight of Skywarp’s body being engulfed with magenta before disappearing from sight.
Oh, Primus. Oh Primus, no! Transforming into his root mode, Starscream looked around, panicking as he found himself surrounded by clear, blue skies, the sun shining high and bright. The intensity of the solar rays blinded him momentarily when he turned in that direction to look for any trace of his pursuer, yet this proved to be a fatal mistake. From beneath, the Seeker was rammed, his subordinate having decided to stay out of his line of sight long enough, and by the time Starscream realized his error, it was too late.
“Aha!!!”Skywarp seized him by the waist and immediately went to work. His servos went in and scrambled along the area he had attacked before, Starscream immediately seizing up and trying to contain the chortles that threatened to spill out of his vocals.
“S-Stop it!!!” Starscream shouted, twisting as much as he could to dislodge himself from the other jet’s hold, yet it seemed that whenever he made a movement, Skywarp just focused on another part of his midsection, the continuous switching of locations making Starscream’s processor be torn between staying still or continuing to writhe around. It was all so confusing and torturous! He was at a loss at what to do! “Stop!!! I-I comma-ha-nd you!!!”
“Hmm...nah.” Skywarp responded, continuing to scramble over the bends and angles of Commander’s midsection.
“I-I’ll kill you!!! Do you hear!? I’ll kill-” Starscream’s voice, unfortunately, chose that time to not cooperate with him. “G-Gah! N-No-hohoho!!! STOP!!!”
“Ah, there you go!” Skywarp congratulated. “Now, was that so hard?”
“Get off!!!” Starscream practically shrieked, both from frustration (and panic), yet also from the sensations that were plaguing his cerebral chamber, sensors lit a fire with horrid tingles and shocks. He only wished that they were of pain. “I-I can’t-'' he then nearly fell out of Skywarp’s arms before he was, unfortunately, caught, the torment continuing. “I can’t stay alo-ha-ft!!!”
“No problem!” Skywarp said, shutting off his thrusters. The two Seekers then began to plummet downwards.
“What in Primus’ name are you doing?! We’ll cra-ah-sh!!!” Starscream hollered, all the while trying to contain himself as Skywarp’s servos still continued to torment him.
As the ground continued to come closer and closer, Starscream braced himself for impact, yet found that it never came, magenta filling his vision before everything around him froze. He wasn’t a stranger to this phenomenon, yet it still perplexed and bewildered him that such an impulsive oaf had such an ability bestowed on him. The times were far and in between, yet whenever it happened, Starscream had gone into the strange dimension between planes of existence with Skywarp when the Seeker teleported both of them. The world looked the same as it had before, yet everything was still and silent. No movement, no sound, nothing. Nothing but their own, as if they were the only things that existed in this small pocket universe.
Then, as quickly as it began, it ended, both Seekers landing on the ground, yet far from at the velocity they were previously traveling at. The landing didn’t mean that Starscream was free, however, the lack of the need to look out below allowed Skywarp to fully focus now on the movements of his servos, which quickly went back to work.
“Stop it, stop it, STOP IT!!!” Starscream commanded, yet he was quickly shut up as giggles threatened to pour out from his vocal processor. He then lifted up his arm in an attempt to, out of desperation, fire his null ray in the other Seeker’s direction, this proved to be yet another fatal error.
Once Skywarp shot his hand underneath to scrape at the cables and joint that linked Starscream’s shoulder and upper arm, he could hold it in no longer.
“Gah!!! Gah-hahahahaha!!!” Starscream released loud and slightly hoarse laughter from his vocals, using his other arm to push back against the other Seeker tickling at his underarm. “S-Stop!!! Stop it!! Sto-hahahaha-p!!!”
“Ha! Gotcha!” Skywarp shouted in triumph, spidering along the red area that rested above his white waist just below the arm joint, this forcing Starscream to retreat into himself and cease his attempts in getting the purple and black Seeker off him. “You’ve got no chance now! Surrender!”
“Hahaha, n-never!!!” Starscream shouted back, trying to turn the opposite way to keep Skywarp away from his side. “Ge-hehehe-t off!!! Get-ah!!!” Skywarp swiped a digit just underneath the area where Starscream’s chest protruded outwards, running the servo along the rim. “Don’t touch me there-AHH!!!”
Skywarp smirked. “Why? Does it tickle?~” he asked oh-so-sweetly. “So you admit you’re ticklish.”
“I admit nothing!!!” Starscream choked in between bouts of involuntary laughter. “I’m not tick-“ he tried to finish but was cut off by more chortles forcing themselves out.
“Then what do you call this? Just a WEE bit of sensitivity?” The purple and black Seeker asked. He stroked and pinched along the SIC’s upper chest region, dipping his hands in the small, square-shaped hollows that rested by his white shoulders, this causing said SIC to try and make another grab at his hands to stop the attack. Unfortunately, Skywarp used this opportunity to dive in under Starscream’s arms and begin scribbling at the joints and cables and whatever other components he could reach. Starscream howled with laughter the moment he felt the wildly moving digits, his arms hugging around himself and clamping themselves down.”Oh great, I’m stuck. Now, what are you gonna do?”
“Wh-Wha-hahaha-t?! You ge-hehe-t them out!!!”
“Can’t exactly do that with you holding my hands down, can I?” Skywarp asked, not letting up in the slightest. “Lift your arms up and I can get free.”
“N-No!!! You’re just gonna-hahaha!!! STOP!!!”
“Hmm...nope.”
Starscream was in, as the humans would say, stitches, his body torn between twisting around and curling up into a ball in a vain attempt to lessen the sensations plaguing him. He knew well that Skywarp would go for the same areas and perhaps others if he lifted up his arms, yet, as he found out, the seams of his underarms were deathly sensitive. It was the equivalent of either having Megatron rip off his limbs versus his fusion cannon blasting him right in the chest. Neither of them was exactly pleasant options. And he didn’t care if he would be called dramatic for making such a comparison! This was torture! He needed this to stop! He HAD to make it stop!
Yet he wouldn’t beg. Not to Skywarp of all mechs. That fool would never get the satisfaction of hearing him grovel for mercy!
And speaking of members of his trine, where in Primus’ name was Thundercracker?! Useless piece of scrap-
“All right, that’s enough!” a voice called out from high above, a blue jet zooming down and transforming, landing a short distance away from his fellow wingmate and Commander. “C’mon, Skywarp, you’re going to kill him.”
“Am not!” Skywarp protested. “I’m just trying to lighten Screamer’s mood here! And from what I’ve seen, my method’s working!
Starscream tried to protest, yet had taken to tightening his lips as much as he could, strained whines coming from in between gritted, grinding dentals. Still, he managed to make out some words (though it was NOT a plea!). “G-Get him off!!! GET HIM OFF!!!”
Thundercracker sighed, crossing his arms. “You heard him. Get off.”
“Aww, do I have to?” Skywarp whined.
“Unless you want a report regarding your insubordination, I’d suggest you do so.”
The purple and black Seeker huffed and begrudgingly stopped moving his hands, Starscream immediately seizing the chance to scramble away, standing up and dusting himself off. Skywarp began to rise as well, yet Starscream pointed one of his cannons in his direction, eyeing his every movement.
“He isn’t going to bother you anymore.” Thundercracker assured.
“I should blast you in the face JUST for what you put me through alone!!!” the Decepticon SIC snarled.
“Hey, I was just trying to get something out of you that wasn’t complaining!” Skywarp countered. “You think you’re the only one that wants to be here on guard duty?”
“I’d much rather be in the company of Megatron at the moment rather than you two!!!”
“Hey, c’mon, that’s enough.” Thundercracker began, trying to cool things down, yet his Commander wasn’t having it.
“I’ve done nothing wrong to even be here!!! I was made Second in Command by Megatron himself!!! And, like it or not, that means I have the full right to question and propose any sort of adjustment or improvement to whatever backward, ridiculous, and foolhardy mission he’s got in mind!!!” Starscream shouted, clenching his blue fists. “And if that’s not enough, he had to stick me with YOU TWO of all bots!!!”
“Hey, c’mon!” Skywarp shot back. “We’re the only ones that can fly besides those damn cone-heads! And Primus knows they won’t put up with your bullshit.”
“I’ve had it up to here with yours!!!” Starscream retorted. “I don’t know why I even continue to allow myself to work with you two!!!” he then pointed to Skywarp. “You are an immature, idiotic thug that has been graced with a power that you clearly do not deserve!!!” he then pointed to Thundercracker. “And you…” Starscream paused. “You...you...well...you didn’t get here fast enough!!! I was under attack by one of my own wingmates, and here you were, lollygagging and taking your sweet time!!!”
Thundercracker was somewhat taken aback. True, this was typical of Starscream, ranting and raving about all the unfairness of the world and how he was slighted by whomever he decided had insulted him, yet the blue Seeker felt a twinge of anger flare up in his spark. “I was TRYING to keep back to make sure you wouldn’t clip a wing or something. You were behaving quite...erratically.”
“That’s no excuse!!!” Starscream countered. “I am your superior, and thus, am your utmost concern!!!”
“I was-”
“No, I’m not done!!!” the other Seeker interrupted. “You know what? You’re just as useless as Skywarp here!!! Only you’ve got no discernable skills or anything spectacular in your arsenal. I lack Skywarp’s little ‘talent’, but I come packed with null rays that can disable and render any machine, Earth or Cybertronian, useless. But you? What, the typical blaster? And such an outdated model too!!! Perhaps even one of the cone-heads would be better suited to be here in comparison to-”
Starscream got out no more before he found himself tackled to the ground. Thundercracker was on top of him and, at a blinding speed, as if in response to the SIC’s remarks regarding his skill and prowess.
“What do you think you’re-” Starscream shouted, yet soon felt his shoulder cannons being removed from his arms. “H-Hey!!! Put those back!!!”
Thundercracker didn’t answer him, continuing his work until his Commander was relieved of his weapons. Then, the blue Seeker delivered a blow to Starscream’s face when the other Decepticon tried to rise. He was disoriented long enough for him to be seized from behind, Thundercracker having ducked his arms underneath Starscream’s own and lifted them up, holding them together with one hand clasping around his wrists, effectively keeping the SIC in place.
“Skywarp,” the blue Seeker began, voice low and emotionless, yet the other members of the trine knew well what such a tone meant when it came to Thundercracker. “He’s all yours.”
Skywarp beamed and made a motion of ‘cracking’ his knuckles (even if he had none). The grin on his face filled Starscream with the utmost dread and fear. “Y-You can’t do this!!!” he protested. “I’m your superior!!!”
“Yes,” Thundercracker responded. “A superior asshole.”
“A superior asshole that’s been getting on my and Cracker’s nerves,” Skywarp said, grinning. Thundercracker despised the nickname the other Seeker had given him, yet at the moment, what was at the forefront of his mind was his Commander’s “disciplinary” session. “And since we’re both done hearing you bitch and moan,” Skywarp raised his servos up, wiggling and making clawing motions with them. “We’re gonna hear you laugh it up instead!”
And then, he went in and continued where he had left off.
Starscream had no chance to brace himself, his focus torn between trying to get Thundercracker off of him and Skywarp’s advances. The purple and black Seeker dove down and traced his servo-tips all over the red and blue Seeker’s chassis, running along the curves and bends, dipping his digits in the vents situated on his chest, and down the midsection where his cockpit was located.
“N-No!!! No-hahahahaha!!! St-Sto-hahaha-p!!! Stop!!! I or-hoho-der you to STOP!!!”
“Not happening.” Skywarp responded, now skittering along the white waist.
“You-hoohoo dare defy an or-hoho-der from your Comma-hahaha-nder!?!”
“If said Commander is being a little bitch, then yes.”
“Th-This is ahahaha-assult on a supe-hehhehe-rior officer!!!”
“Fine then. Stop me.”
Starscream didn’t answer that, knowing well that, despite himself, he was effectively rendered helpless. Thundercracker wasn’t letting him go any time soon, and Skywarp was more than content to keep tickling the ever-living shit out of his Commander. He was completely at their mercy. But he would not surrender. He couldn’t! Not to them! They wouldn’t get one word out of him that was begging for mercy!
At least, that’s what he tried to keep in mind, all the while fighting against said pleas that were forming in his processor.
Skywarp continued to let his servos dance all over Starscream’s upper half, Thundercracker keeping him immobile. The other Seeker’s added weight made struggling difficult and sometimes near impossible, and the maddening sensations made his futile attempts to escape no better. Skywarp had gone for the SIC’s underarms, Starscream’s laughter raising in volume and his struggles increasing, yet Thundercracker held him firm. Skywarp spidered down Starscream’s sides and chest, even tackling the red sections that stood upward on his shoulders. The red and blue Seeker howled with laughter, Thundercracker keeping up his efforts to hold him tight. Despite his current predicament, Starscream could at least take comfort in that the three were clearly alone out here. The only downside to that was that it was Skywarp of all bots doing the torturing! That mech left no inch of his upper body untouched, making sure to give each and every portion of it equal attention. Odd that he would be so precise given how impatient and foolhardy he was.
Having decided that he had explored all he could in that area, the purple and black Seeker shifted his attention to Starscream’s hips, dragging servos along where it connected to his waist and squeezing the sides. The Decepticon SIC continued to release mad cackles from his vocal processor, Skywarp’s servos traveling down to his inner thighs, teasing the joints and cables he could reach. The purple and black Seeker went down the other jet’s legs and reached his knees, swiping servos behind the blocky sections that essentially served as ‘kneecaps’. He even dipped his digits in the vents that rested there.
Starscream was being driven mad, his frantic struggles weakening, though whether it was due to him losing strength or some part of him simply accepting his fate, he was unsure. Regardless, he was reaching his limit and frankly, beginning to lose his mind. “W-Wait!!!” the Seeker got out. “O-hoho-k!!! OK!!! You-hoohoo-’ve had your fun!!! Stop!!!”
“Not yet,” Skywarp said. “I’ve still got a little more of you to tend to.” he then turned to the blue Seeker. “Hold him tight. I gotta feeling this is going to send him over the edge.”
“What do you mean…” Starscream asked, yet trailed off when he saw Skywarp secure his ankles, the undersides of his peds and thrusters completely exposed. Oh no. Oh Primus, no! “W-Wait!!! WAIT!!!” Skywarp and Thundercracker were quite shocked at how loud their captive had gotten, both looking at him with wide, red optics.
Skywarp then smirked. “Oh my,” he glanced at one ped he had in his grasp. “This a particularly sensitive area?” as if to demonstrate, he ran one servo down the length of the side of it, Starscream trembling and straining to keep noises from exiting his throat. “Oh hot damn!” the purple and black Seeker looked to his comrade. “Look at this Cracker! Screamer here’s got sensitive tootsies!”
Tootsies? Was that a human word? Well, whatever. Thundercracker had to strengthen his hold on Starscream, the other Seeker growing even more erratic than before.
“Not there!!!” Starscream finally threw all pride and dignity aside and went to one of his desperate fail-safes: begging. “Please, not there!!! Anywhere but there!!!”
“Why?” Skywarp coyly asked. “Does it tiiiickle~?”
“All right fine!!! Fine, I admit it!!! I’m ticklish, ok!?! There, I said it!!!”
Skywarp stopped his teasing, yet still held Starscream’s ped in his hold. “And?”
“And…” the SIC couldn’t believe he was doing this. Megatron was one thing, but these two? He would NEVER live this down. “And…” he felt a servo place itself on the underside of the ped. “And I’m sorry!!! I’m sorry for everything I said!!! You’re not useless or idiots!!!” Starscream sighed, having gained both of the other jet’s attention. “It’s just...it’s just so frustrating.” He said, lessening his struggles. “Your position means nothing, and whatever contribution you have to give is treated little better than the ramblings of a fool. How nothing you could ever say matters…”
Starscream looked away from both of them for a second, his wingmates quite baffled and confused by what they just heard. True, complaining was one of the hallmarks of their Commander’s personality, yet it was quite a rarity to hear him display such raw honesty with them. It wasn’t a completely alien event, the two having heard these supposedly heartfelt (or in their case, sparkfelt) confessions before, but they were far and in between. Yet whenever they happened, despite their probable better judgment, they listened. And Starscream, even if he didn’t say it outright, acknowledged that they were indeed listening. These moments were always awkward and generally uncomfortable for all three of them, the mood not exactly being positive but oddly calm. And neither Skywarp nor Thundercracker could tell whether these were genuine or not. Their Commander was very much what the humans called a social chameleon. Oh sure, he had his distinguishing traits, yet it seemed that whenever he had to play a certain role (aside from a duplicitous usurper), he usually took it and made it his own. He could have solid strategies and plans, he could be deadly in combat and made use of his airborne advantage well, and when, rarely, Megatron’s plans aligned with his own, he would follow it to a tee. But whether all these were just an act to get what he wanted or a rare display of inner, truthful self (even if partway), neither of the Seekers knew. And in a way, Starscream would probably have it no other way.
Skywarp looked at his partner in crime, then to his victim. “You believe him, Cracker?”
Thundercracker was silent for a moment, Starscream looking up at him with wide, pleading optics. “I don’t know. You know Starscream.”
“Oh, you think so little of me, dear Thundercracker?” The SIC asked, seemingly hurt. “I merely let my own grievances with Megatron affect my sense of professionalism.”
“And?” Skywarp asked. “You sorry for being the King of the Assholes today?”
“King of the...what!?” Starscream began to protest, yet the sensation of Skywarp’s servo kept him in his place. “Yes!!! Yes. Yes, I’m sorry. I apologize. I apologize for everything that’s come from my vocal components.”
The purple and black Seeker looked and Thundercracker and nodded his head. “You know what? I believe him. How about you?” Thundercracker remained silent, yet when his hold was loosening, he noticed Skywarp look at him with a coy, calculating smile. “I think Cracker here forgives you too, Screamer.”
Starscream sighed in relief. “Yes, well...I suppose, as the humans say, to err is, well, human. But to forgive is divine.” He tried to get up, but still, found himself being held tight.
“Hold on there! Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves.” Skywarp said. “I said I forgive you.” He then placed a servo on the underside of Starscream’s ped and dragged it down, noticing how his Commander’s face tensed up. “I didn’t say anything about letting you go. And neither did Cracker.”
Starscream’s red optics widened in terror, his fate had not been changed. “But...but you said that you forgave me!!! You have to release me!!!”
“And we will,” Thundercracker spoke up. “But, it would be bad form to leave Skywarp’s job unfinished, right?”
“Was that an actual joke from you?” Skywarp asked, genuinely surprised. It was just as, perhaps even rarer than Starscream’s “honest” moments, yet once in a while, the blue Seeker showed he was capable of humor, albeit mostly dry, but still, humor. “And yeah. I’ve only got one more place to cover. So I’d suggest you buck up and take the rest of it like a mech!”
Shit, Starscream thought, a part of him surprised that he had used a human curse. Still, the sentence had been delivered. He was doomed. “N-No, wait!!! You don’t understand!!! I can’t take it there!!! It’s too much!!! You’ll drive me crazy!!!
“Hmm...those are all rather bold claims. But you shouldn’t have told me that.” Skywarp said, eager to start his tickling torment up again. “Because now I’m going to have to see it for myself!”
And thus, Skywarp wasted no time in getting started, Starscream having no chance to maintain any semblance of self-control the moment he felt a servo quickly swipe itself back and forth on his ped. The reaction was immediate, Starscream having no chance to try and even contain himself. Skywarp traced down the entire length of the ped, the red and blue Seeker released loud and slightly hoarse laughter from his vocals, he desperately trying to twist his way out of Thundercracker’s grip.
“Skwarp!!!” Starscream hollered. “Ple-heeheehee-se!!! STOP!!!”
“Oh no, Mr. General Dickweed!” the Seeker answered back. “Forgiveness or no, you’ve been in dire need of an attitude adjustment all day today!”
“I sa-hahaha-id I was so-hohoho-rry!!!”
“And you lied to us about being ticklish. Shame on you!” Skywarp teased, continuing to scribble around on the underside of his Commander’s ped.
Starscream was in absolute hysterics, trying with all his remaining power to break free and escape his torment, yet it seemed that his fate was sealed. He was going to have to stay here and endure the continuous, soft, agonizingly light yet maddening sensations Skywarp’s servos created. Eventually, his struggles ceased, no longer having the energy to fight back. Or maybe, somewhere in his processor, he knew that he was fighting a losing battle and simply relented to those that currently had power over him. Skywarp then ceased tickling the peds, yet Starscream had no time to rest. Despite his hopes, pleas, and prayers (he hadn’t really considered himself a religious bot, yet he was singing praises to Primus at that moment in his head), Skywarp had discovered his Commander’s Achilles Heel. Literally.
“PRIMUS, STOP!!!” the SIC shrieked, living up to his name. Out of all the spots that could’ve been at the mercy (or lack thereof) of Skywarp’s servos, he knew well that one would be enough to make him go crazy. “YOU’RE KI-HIHIHIHI-LLING ME!!! I’M DY-HIHIHIHI-ING!!!”
Skywarp scoffed, yet he found this whole thing hilarious, his servos dancing along the lining of and inside Starscream’s thrusters. “Oh please. If anything, this is a spa treatment compared to what you usually get hit with from Megatron.”
“I’D RA-HAHAHAHA-THER TAKE THAT!!! OH PLEASE!!! PLE-HEEHEEHEE-ASE!!! I CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE!!!”
Thundercracker glanced down at his captive, taking a look at the Seeker’s ever-present smile he had plastered on his features, yet also of how hot he was beginning to feel how warm he was becoming. His internal systems had steadily been heating up from all the exertion of energy, yet the fact Thundercracker could now feel the heat himself signaled to him that Starscream was truly reaching his breaking point.
“Ok, I think that’s enough.”
Skywarp looked up. “Aw, why?”
“Is your processor malfunctioning? Feel how warm he is!” Hmm, now that he thought about it, Starscream DID feel like he was heating up the further along he went. Still...did he have to? “Skywarp!”
“Ok, ok! Fine!” the purple and black Seeker groaned.
Begrudgingly, he ceased the movement of his servos and raised his hands away from Starscream, who was still caught in the throughs of laughter. Yet after a few moments, said laughter began to soften and decrease, the Seeker resting in Thundercracker’s arms mainly because he couldn’t do much else. Despite there being no need to take in oxygen, Starscream was quite appreciative of its abundance, his vents taking it in and filtering out the heat that had been building up.
“Oh, and here you actually had me...going,” Skywarp said, gesturing to Starscream. “See? He’s fine!” The word ‘concerned’ was about to exit from his lips, yet the Seeker kept them back. Like the Pit he was going to say that. Starscream then glared in Skywarp’s direction. “See? Totally fine. He’s already back to his bitchy self.”
“You…” Starscream huffed, sounding as if he were short of breath despite not needing to breathe. “You think you’re VERY clever, don’t you?”
Skywarp shrugged. “On occasion, I like to think so.”
Starscream only narrowed his optics. “The moment I get my strength back up, your termination will be slow and painful.”
Despite this threat, the Seeker wasn’t intimidated in the slightest. “Yeah right. I stopped believing you after the...what was it, the millionth-and-first time you said that?”
“Well...who’s to say I don’t mean it the millionth-and-second time?” Starscream questioned, beginning to reach for his null rays, yet ultimately, had tired himself out too much to even move from where he was. As the human said, screw it.
“Are you all right?”
The Decepticon SIC looked up at Thundercracker. “Oh, so NOW you care about my wellbeing?”
“I stopped him, didn’t I?” The blue Seeker asked, pointing to Skywarp.
“And you’re also the one that restrained and let him torture me.”
“...touche.” he then began to rise. “Come on. On your feet.” he slowly hoisted his Commander up. “You’re still cooling down, so it’d probably be good to wait for a klik or two before you take to the air.”
Starscream didn’t argue with that, yet he went over to retrieve his arm cannons. Skywarp soon found the Commander’s eyes looking straight at him. Yet still, his cannons didn’t fire, though whether because he was too tired to do anything or he actually didn’t have it in him (at least at the moment), to shoot Skywarp was unknown. Yet the result was the same.
“So...now what?” the purple and black Seeker asked.
“What do you mean, now what?” Thundercracker asked. “We go back to our posts! Slag, we shouldn’t even be out here anyway!”
Starscream dusted himself off, trying to straighten out his appearance. “As soon as this is over, I’m punishing both of you.”
Skywarp mockingly gasped. “Aw, why?”
“Why?! You know slagging good why!!!” Starscream responded. “And by the time I’m done with you, a session with Megatron himself will sound exceptionally pleasant in comparison!!!”
“Oooh, that’s pretty big talk, Screamer.” Skywarp chuckled. “And just how are you going to do it?”
Starscream didn’t exactly care for how close the other Seeker was. “I...I’ll find a way. I’ll find several.”
“Of course, you do realize you’re not the only one with an advantage, you know?” And before Starscream could ask, he felt a poke in his side, the red and blue Seeker recoiling from the touch. “Y’know, I can’t help but wonder how the guys would react to this when I tell them.”
Both Starscream and Thundercracker were taken aback by what Skywarp had just said. “Why would you tell anybody?” Starscream asked.
“Because it’s adorably precious and funny.” The Seeker answered.
“You had better not!!!” Starscream ordered. “Or I’ll make your punishment even worse than Thundercracker’s!!! I’ll…” he then went over and fell at Skywarp’s feet. “Please don’t tell anyone. Please. I’m begging you.”
“Relax, he’s not going to tell,” Thundercracker assured his Commander. “Right, Skywarp?”
Skywarp folded his arms. “Only if Screamer takes back his punishment threats.”
Starscream relented. “Ok, yes. Fine. No discipline. Ok?”
The Seeker smiled. “And since you’re feeling so cooperative, I’ve been meaning to ask you some...stuff.”
Starscream did NOT like the sound of that. “What kind of...stuff??”
“Well, c’mon.” Before he knew it, the Air Commander found his trine-mate’s arm slung around his shoulder as if he were a long-time friend. “We can discuss it on the way back to the space bridge.”
Starscream groaned, not liking where this was going at all.
Thundercracker only looked on, still trying to swallow everything that had happened. Suffice to say, he found himself feeling rather...odd about it. And he could tell Starscream held this sentiment as well. Truly, it sounded unreal: he had just held down their superior while his wingmate tickled him into near insanity. Had he not seen it himself, let alone participated in it, he wouldn’t have believed it. Frankly, he was beginning to feel quite embarrassed about how he had sunk so low to be involved in something so childish, but…
“Oh, come on! It wasn’t that bad!” The blue Seeker heard Skywarp say. “You were smiling the whole time!”
“Yes, against my will!!!!” Starscream retorted, folding his arms and, for lack of a better word, pouting.
“But don’t you feel just a little bit better?”
Starscream’s red optics widened. “No! It-“ had he been human, he would’ve been red as a tomato. Odd how the meatbag’s skin changed at just the slightest amount of extreme emotion. “Hmph!!! Well...I’m not talking to you right now!!! Or in the next few Earth hours. Or tomorrow. Or the day after that. Or-“ he was interrupted by a poke, unprepared to contain the giggle that slipped out. “Do that again, and I WILL blast you this time.” He threatened.
“That makes a millionth-and-three.” Skywarp answered, unfazed.
Thundercracker continued to watch the two Seekers argue and banter with each other, noticing that, even if he would swear to Primus Himself that it wasn’t the case, since his tickling session, Starscream seemed...less irritable?
“Well, maybe that’ll be the lucky number. What’s that human saying again? Third time’s the charm?”
“I don’t think they have plus a million in there though.” Skywarp chuckled, Starscream huffing.
“Shut up.”
Thundercracker could only speculate. One could never tell with Starscream. But from watching him, he had a vague idea of what was going in his processor. And that he’d keep it a secret from everyone.
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skswriting · 4 years
Text
the lottery offering
Rating: M Pairing: Jeongguk/You Words: 22,334 Summary:  “I volunteer,” you say softly, gasps rising up from the crowd behind you.  You can hear some of your tribe members burst into tears, some mutterings of thank the gods.  Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Elder Choi smiling smugly.  “Are you sure, child?” Alpha Kim asks gravely, “Are you ready to leave all this behind?  You will not be able to come home.”  You internally scoff.  Home.  This place hasn’t been home in years.“I am sure, Alpha Kim.  I volunteer to be the offering this year,” you confirm, voice unwavering. AN: i’ve been working on this for too long and it ITSELF is too long i literally just wanted to write about big dick jeongguk why am i like this Warnings: jeongguk is an alpha, there’s like a hint of beastiality? you don’t actually get fucked by a wolf though you just want to be lol, lots of gratuitous sex and overall cheesiness because jk is still a goofball, pussy eating, finger, edging, overstim? maybe? or at least a poor attempt at it, blowjobs, vaginal sex and knotting, i’m not sure if i have to warn about anything else, also major warning i read through this SO quick i was tired of looking at it i’m sorry
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When one of the Elders asks for you to meet in their cabin after dinner, your heart sinks to your feet.  The Elders, and most of your tribe for that matter, don’t go out of their way to speak to you, so for one of them to call upon you can’t be good news.
You don’t eat much, stomach twisting violently as you sit in a secluded corner, immune to the chattering around you.  Maybe today is the day they kick you out.  It’s no secret your tribe doesn’t like you, your orphanism a major hurdle they’re unable to overcome, considering the scarce resources your tribe are reluctant to share with someone who’s unable to provide.
“Elder Choi,” you knock politely, bowing your head as you pop your head in, “You wished to see me?”
“Ah, yes, Y/N, come in child,” his voice is soft, giving no hint as to what’s to come, “Please, sit.”
You kneel on a pillow at his tea table, accepting the cup from him.  It’s silent as you both drink, your mind whirling as you try to think what’s about to happen.
“It will be your first Lottery tomorrow, yes?” he asks.
“Yes, Elder Choi,” you answer.
He nods and falls silent again.  He stares out the window and you watch him carefully, the flames of his fire casting shadows over his face.  He gives you a small smile when he faces you again, setting his cup down with a decisive clank.
“We have not had to host a Lottery for a few years.  The Lottery, though of mutual benefit to us, is a sad affair.  To lose a member of our tribe, a son or a daughter, to have them ripped away from their family and friends.  The tears and the good byes.  Heart wrenching, isn’t it?”
It’s a rhetorical question, but you answer anyway, “Yes Elder, very heart wrenching.”
“It is a blessing, however, when someone is selfless enough to volunteer, someone prepared to give themselves over instead of letting someone be ripped from us.”
It hits you, what he’s asking.  There’s no love lost between you and your tribe, but to have an Elder hint that you should just give yourself over cuts in a way you weren’t expecting.
“Little Mina will be in the Lottery this year, won’t she?” Elder Choi asks, and it’s a low blow.  She’s been sick for a few years and it’s been hard to obtain medicine for her, but she’s been so optimistic about everything and is the joy of the tribe, “It would kill her mother if she was chosen.”
“It would…” you whisper.
“I’m sorry, I did not mean to bring the mood down.  I merely wanted to make sure you were ready for tomorrow.  Do you have your dress ready?” it’s a ruse and you know it.  He’s laid the seed and now he’s waiting for it to take root.
“Yes Elder, I’ve been working on it for weeks,” you tell him and he nods.
“Good.  Please, finish your tea, I don’t wish to keep you too late and have you tired for tomorrow.”
“Thank you, Elder.”
He says nothing more as you sip slowly at your tea, mulling it over.
You don’t like his manipulation; it’s abhorrent, really, to use your outcast status and the personal attack of Mina against you.  But really, what is there to keep you here?  There’s no happy ending for you, just a life of solitude, always on the outskirts.  What could the other side hold that would be worse than what you’re already facing?
You’ve made up your mind as you push your empty cup away.
“Good night, Y/N, I’m glad we had this talk,” he tells you earnestly, leaning forward as he stares into your eyes.
“Good night Elder, I will see you at the Lottery tomorrow,” you bow to him, before you take your leave.
-
It’s a somber atmosphere, you and the other participants standing in front of the stage, Elder Lee standing beside Alpha Kim behind the bowl with all the offerings’ names.  All of the participants are dressed in white, as symbolism of consenting to being an offering, blank and ready to leave everything behind.
You’re standing at the front, Seyoung on one side and Bongsoo on the other.  They both have their hands clasped in front of them, the tension evident in the rigidity of their muscles, but you’re standing loose.  You’ve already made your peace, you just have to wait for the right moment.
“Everyone,” Alpha Kim booms, “Thank you for gathering here today.  It has come time for need of another offering.  We have plenty of goods to provide for trade, to be delivered next week before the cold sets in.”
There’s no call back, as the crowd waits for the end.
“Let us not stall any longer.  Jeongguk, please, step forward and draw the name.”
The recipient this year is tall and toned, muscles shifting under his tunic as he steps up beside the alpha.  Judging by his aura, he too is an alpha, dark eyes sweeping across the crowd.  It must be your imagination, but you feel as if his gaze lingers on you for a moment longer.  There’s no mistaking the red bleeding into his eyes, overtaking the gold specks of his status.  He’s the closest you’ve ever seen turning feral and you’re surprised they’ve let him get this far.
Your heart kickstarts when you see him raise his arm and prepare to reach into the depths of the bowl and seal someone’s fate.  Before his fingers get the chance to grasp onto a slip of paper, you step forward.
“I volunteer,” you say softly, gasps rising up from the crowd behind you.
You can hear some of your tribe members burst into tears, some mutterings of thank the gods.  Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Elder Choi smiling smugly.
“Are you sure, child?” Alpha Kim asks gravely, “Are you ready to leave all this behind?  You will not be able to come home.”
You internally scoff.  Home.  This place hasn’t been home in years.
“I am sure, Alpha Kim.  I volunteer to be the offering this year,” you confirm, voice unwavering.
He examines you for a moment, before turning to Jeongguk.  Jeongguk takes a moment to take in your figure, head tilting as his eyes roam over you.  You stand tall and proud, looking him head on.  His mouth quirks when your eyes meet and he nods.
“What is your name?”
“Y/N, Alpha Kim.  My name is Y/N.”
“Y/N, we have accepted your volunteer as this Lottery’s offering.  Gather your things, we leave within the hour.”
You bow to them, surprised to receive a bow back, before you turn to the side and bow to the Elders.  You don’t say anything to anyone as you head back to your small hut to gather your meager things.
-
The Lottery started when a shifter pack approached tribes like yours, desperate beyond belief.  Their numbers were small and members of their pack were on the verge of turning feral, unable to sustain mates to keep them from turning.  They proposed a trading system: tribes would provide bodies for mates and in turn they would provide resources.  This would keep either of you from dying, letting the pack slowly grow their numbers and letting your tribe stockpile food.  The Lottery was considered the easiest and fairest way to pick who would be traded. The Lottery has been around for as long as you can remember.
The redness of Jeongguk’s eyes means the process has started; his canines are elongated even in human form and his nails are too long.  His hair is shaggier than others and his communication skills are lacking.
The other problem is that he apparently tends to stay in his shifted form, a big, black wolf that’s almost as tall as you and definitely bigger.  The first day of your return trip, Jeongguk walks ahead of you, tail swishing as he leads with Alpha Kim.  Alpha Kim had explained quietly that you might have a harder time mating with Jeongguk with how far along he already is, the feral part of him fighting to reject the bond in order to move forward with the transformation.
It’s not a comforting thought, because if you mate with Jeongguk and the bond is rejected, you’ll both die.
“Please be patient with him,” Alpha Kim asked of you, which seemed uncharacteristic for his alpha status, “I watched Jeongguk grow up, I can’t let him go feral.”
“Yes, Alpha Kim, I’ll do my best,” you had told him.
Now, you’re on your way to your new pack, your new home.  You’re still wearing your Lottery dress and you’re starting to sweat, unused to walking for so long, but you don’t say anything.  It’ll take a few days to reach their pack and you don’t want to already be a burden to them.
There’s only a few of you.  You, Jeongguk, Alpha Kim, and one guard introduced as Yoongi.  You can keep up for the most part, because Jeongguk and Yoongi are the only two that are shifted, so they keep it slow for Alpha Kim.
Eventually though, the fatigue catches up to you.  Your calf muscles are screaming, urging you to take a break and rest, and you think you can feel a blister on the back of your foot.  You don’t mean to lag behind, but it’s getting harder to breathe, your chest tight, as you focus on each next step and not just dropping to your knees.
A rumble breaks you out of your headspace and you glance to see Jeongguk standing in front of you.  His eyes scare you, blank as they stare at you, and you’re almost unable to see the gold amidst the red.  There’s a brief stare down between you, before he turns his back to you and hunches down slightly.
You’re surprised that he’s offering to carry you, but your screaming feet don’t let you look a gift horse in the mouth, so you tiredly straddle his back, anchoring your hands in his midnight black fur.  He doesn’t even seem to register your added weight, trotting to catch back up to the others.  Alpha Kim doesn’t say anything as you rejoin them, but he does give you a slight smile.
“Thank you,” you whisper quietly to Jeongguk, for his ears only.  They twitch in recognition, but that’s all you get.
Bedding down for the night is slightly awkward, the shifters trying to give you privacy as you roll out a sleeping pad and lay a thin blanket on it.  There’s a little of the fire left from dinner that they’re maintaining to keep you warm and you’re thankful, huddling down beside it.
The blister on the back of your foot needs tended to, the skin peeling and the blood dripping.  You hiss as you touch it, digging into your rucksack to see if you have any salve.  You keep your groan to yourself, frustratedly running your fingers through your hair before you go to stand.
“Where are you going?” a soft voice asks and when you turn, you’re surprised to see that it’s Jeongguk who asked you.
He had shifted back earlier, but this is the first time you think you’ve heard him speak, and the airiness of his voice doesn’t match the sharpness of his face.  It’s pleasant though, a soothing, melodic timber.
“I’m going to see if there’s some salve materials nearby, burdock root or chamomile or something,” you shrug, limping a little as you turn away, “I’m not running away, I’ll be right back.”
“I’m not worried about you running away, I’m worried about how dark it is and the wild animals around here,” his voice takes on a gruff quality as he snaps the words out, gaze heated, “I’m coming with you.”
Your bite your lower lip, feeling properly chastised.  You didn’t mean to cause offense and you duck your head as he nears.  Neither of the other shifters say anything, watching you two leave.
It’s quiet as the two of you walk, you using the waning light to search.  You want to apologize, but you don’t want to add insult to injury, and he doesn’t seem keen on saying anything either.
“Burdock?” he gestures to a flowering purple bush.
“Oh, yes!” you grin, hobbling over to it.  You hum as you gently dig into the ground, unearthing a few roots of the plant and tearing them apart gently.
“Chamomile doesn’t grow this far north, but there should be some symphytum around we can add,” Jeongguk tells you, standing behind you, seemingly on watch as he surveys the surrounding area.
You’ve never heard of that plant, but he seems to know what he’s talking about so you nod as you stand.  He reaches a hand out to steady you, your skin tingling under his fingers.
“Your dress,” he says suddenly and you just look at him, “You should have let me dig up the root, you got it dirty.”
You look down at yourself, seeing the dirt patches on your bare knees and the smudges on your dress.
“Eh, it’s just a dress, I can wash it.  I’ll let you pick the symp… symphytum when we find it though,” you grin at him and you’re rewarded with a half chuckle, “We should get back to it before we lose the light.”
Jeongguk raises an eyebrow as he taps underneath his eye, “I can see in the dark, remember?”
You bark out a sarcastic laugh, “Sorry, my puny human eyes are only so useful.”
“It’s okay, we’ll get through this together,” he grins as you and you give him a real laugh, before you nudge him along.
Jeongguk points out some other plants you never heard of before as you search for the symphytum and you take in all he has to offer.  You dabbled in medicine and gardening in your tribe and so you listen to everything Jeongguk tells you, especially considering the area you’re heading to is so much different than the area you grew up in.
“Ah, here we go, symphytum,” Jeongguk points it out and you nod, taking in the features of the plant, “we need the flowers and leaves.”
“Wow, how do you know so much about all this?” you ask, admiration clearly present, and you swear you see him blush a little.
“My grandma was our pack’s medic,” he tells you, gathering what you need to add to your burdock root.
“Was…?” you ask softly.
“She died last year,” he says, quite gruffly.  He doesn’t elaborate more than that and you don’t expect him to.
Your parents passed when you were young, and you don’t remember specific details of them, but you know the feeling of loss well, an emptiness inside that you can’t seem to alleviate.  There are memories you have that you know you’ll never get to recreate or commiserate, and you can empathize with Jeongguk on that, who must have been close to his grandmother if his knowledge is anything to judge it off of.
You don’t say anything, but you lay a hand gently on his arm, hoping you can convey your emotions to him.  Jeongguk looks at your hand on his arm before he looks up at you, eyes still guarded, but you don’t look away.  He studies you, able to see you much better in the dark than you’re able to see him despite your eyes adjusting, before he touches his hand to yours in return.
You smile softly at him as he shifts from touching your hand to holding it.  Neither of you say anything as you stay there for a moment, just existing together, before he softly clears his throat to break the moment.
“We need water to turn this into a paste, let’s head back to camp,” he says and you agree.
You let Jeongguk carry you back to get to camp quicker and you see Alpha Kim and Yoongi curled up in their shifted form, the fire still lit but small.  Alpha Kim raises his head as you two approach, giving you both a quick once over to check that neither of you are hurt.  Once satisfied, he turns his head the other way, and the two of you are left to your own devices.
“Here, mash them like this,” Jeongguk tells you softly, sitting beside you on your sleeping pad as he crushes the materials together between two rocks, “We’ll add just a bit of water at a time until we get something thick and not too watery.  It’ll stick best to your blister that way.”
You nod, watching him carefully as he makes the paste.
“Give me your foot,” he instructs and you scoot back to place it in his lap, “this shouldn’t hurt, but let me know if I press too hard.”
He’s careful as he spreads the paste lightly over your blister, face entirely concentrated as he takes care of you.
“It doesn’t look like we have to wrap it, but we’ll put some more on in the morning.  You should lay down now, though, it’s getting late, and we have to get up early in the morning.”
Before he moves, you grab his wrist to make him look at you, “Wait.  I… I wanted to apologize.”
He tilts his head in question, waiting for you to continue, and you frown as you let go of his wrist.
“I didn’t mean anything when I made that comment about not running away earlier,” you tell him, “That wasn’t a dig at you, or your pack.”
Jeongguk sighs as he removes your hand only to hold it, staring down at the way his hand engulfs yours, “It’s okay.  I can’t imagine how hard it must be for your tribe to give up someone every Lottery.  I know it’ll be difficult for us, having such a small time frame to prepare to be mated for the rest of our lives, but please know that I’m thankful for you.  I don’t know your reasons for volunteering, but I like to think that your willingness gives us more of a chance, with no prejudice and no fear.”
Jeongguk softly places your foot back on the ground, before he pushes himself up and away before you can say anything.  You can tell by the movement of his body that he’s about to shift.  It looks like such a weird and painful process, the bones shifting into place as he hunches over, fur sprouting from his skin as his face elongates and ears pop up.
You notice that Jeongguk always shakes his legs out when he shifts, and just him; neither Alpha Kim or Yoongi do it.  It must just be some quirk of Jeongguk’s and it makes you giggle around a throat still tight with emotion as he does it, making him turn towards you.
He growls lowly in his chest, something that sounds almost playful, before trotting over to you as you settle on your sleeping pad.  He nudges his face against you, still growling a little, and you giggle as you realize he’s trying to push you down to lay on your sleeping pad, snuffling over you as you settle down, pulling the thin blanket over you.
He sniffs at the ground near you, turning in a few circles before he decides to curl up behind you, close enough that you can feel the heat of his body but not enough that it’s suffocating.  Combined with the heat of the fire, your body relaxes onto your pad despite the hardness of the ground and you fall asleep easily.
-
You wake up pleasantly warm, head pillowed on something soft.  You hum as you snuggle deeper into it, body rising and falling rhythmically, a soft rumbling in your ear thrumming through you pleasantly.  It’s almost enough to lull you back to sleep, before you realize you didn’t fall asleep with a pillow and what you’re laying on feels eerily alive.
When you crack your eyes open you see Jeongguk in his shifted form curled around you, your body wrapped up in his with your head resting on the side of his torso.  He’s awake, lazily watching you, and you notice that some of the red in his eyes is diminished.  They’re brown and gold this morning, shining brilliantly in the early morning light.  You realize he’d purposely been rumbling for you as it slows down, the sound dying out beneath your ear.  You can feel his tail twitching by your legs, as you’re completely swaddled in him, and you realize this is one of most comfortable moments of your life.
“Good morning,” you whisper to him, and he sighs as a response, curling around you tighter, “We should eat before we set out.”
You pick your head up to see Yoongi gone, probably to hunt for breakfast, and Alpha Kim in his human form rummaging around through their belongings to prepare for whatever he brings back.
You slowly extract yourself from Jeongguk, stretching sore muscles from walking, but you’re surprised to find that your back isn’t sore from sleeping on the ground.  You wonder how long you’d been laying on Jeongguk, knowing he’d chosen to curl up behind you when you went to sleep.  Judging by the way Jeongguk whines and huffs as you untangle yourself from him, you can tell he was as comfortable as you had been, trying to use his body weight to keep you pinned down.
After a light breakfast, the four of you set out.  Jeongguk makes you ride on his back for the rest of the day, despite your protest that your feet and blisters were fine.  He had growled at you, circling your form and rubbing up against you until Alpha Kim had approached you.
“We won’t reach the pack until tomorrow afternoon, it’ll be easier if the three of us can shift and Jeongguk carries you,” Alpha Kim had told you and you had acquiesced, mounting Jeongguk.
The second day passed much the same as the first had, and ends with the four of you bedding down for the night around a small camp.  Jeongguk is less shy about curling around you in his shifted form this time around, nudging your shoulder with his snout before unceremoniously plopping his head down in your lap.  You want to protest his closeness because you feel gross, still wearing your dirty Lottery dress, but you had been unwilling to hold them up for even a moment just for you to change, so you let him lay on you.
It had been worrying to you that Jeongguk had stayed shifted all day, but you can’t deny how comfortable he is when you’re trying to go to sleep, forgoing your blanket as you bury yourself in him.  You brush your hands through his fur, marveling at how soft it is and he starts to rumble under you.  You realize that he doesn’t do it for you but that its his way of letting you know that he’s comfortable.  His nose digs under your hand until it’s resting under your palm, urging you to move it.  You fall asleep petting him, thinking that volunteering no longer feels like a death sentence but more like… a new beginning.
You wake up to sunlight and rough jostling, with a gruff snuffling in your ear.  You’re disoriented for a few moments, head rolling against the ground as you try to gain your bearings.  You’re laying on your side facing away from the camp and there’s sweat dripping down your back because Jeongguk in his shifted form has you pressed right up against his underside, nose tight against the back of your ear as he growls deep in his chest.
It takes you a moment, but when you register the wetness and the growling, you realize what’s happening.  His lower half is thrusting up against you and his cock is between your legs, rubbing against your skin.  Your pulse quickens as you realize that Jeongguk must be having a wet dream or something similar as he growls in his sleep and licks at your skin, sending a jolt through your entire body.
You’re almost mortified to realize that the wetness you first thought was coming from him is actually from you, that you like what’s happening.  Even though he’s in his shifted form it’s still Jeongguk and there’s no denying that you find him attractive.  The fact that he’s rutting against you is doing things to you, his cock hot and heavy against you making your head spin.
You’re afraid to look down, to sear the image into your mind.  You know it’s not going to look like his human cock, but when you glance down, you can’t help the way you keen in the back of your throat.  He’s big, precum smearing against your stomach as he works his cock under your dress, pressing against your clit from the way he’s got you pinned.  With one of his legs over both of yours, and one of his front legs extended over your torso to press into the ground to give himself leverage, you would have to fight to get out of his hold.
But you don’t want to.  You can feel the heat between your legs, the arousal swirling in your stomach as his growling gets deeper and his tongue gets more insistent.  You can feel the press of his teeth against the sensitive skin of your neck and when his thrusts speed up, hitting your clit just a bit faster, you can’t help but moan lowly.  You hope Alpha Kim and Yoongi are out hunting so you don’t have to deal with the embarrassment of knowing they know.
You give a tentative thrust down and moan a little higher when Jeongguk’s cock rubs against your clit harder.  You clench around nothing, whimpering as you thrust down again, and again, until you’re working in tandem with him.  You can feel Jeongguk’s body shaking behind you, his low growling shifting to a higher pitched whine, nosing roughly at your ear before his nips turn purposeful.
You startle when it dawns on you that he’s finally woken up, the nip more than a dream instinct, but his thrusting doesn’t stop.  You gasp when he starts shifting behind you, helping you onto your knees and elbows as he stays crouched over you, body dwarfing yours as you rest your forehead against your sleeping pad.
You can’t believe this is happening but Jeongguk doesn’t give you time to think, his shifted cock giving your clit delicious friction as he stays mounted this way, thrusting with conscious purpose now.  He noses along the entire back of your neck, licking the shell of your ear and nipping at your shoulders.  Your back is so slick with sweat you can feel every press of Jeongguk’s belly against you, clenching with each thrust, wishing he’d stuff you with his cock.  It’d tear you in half but it’d be worth it to be so full, to be forced to take it, to test the limit.
You moan as you think about it, letting Jeongguk phantom fuck you and reaching a hand under your dress to touch the tip of his cock as he thrusts against your stomach.  Jeongguk lets out a half howl, thrusting up against the palm of your hand as the press against your clit becomes constant.
“Jeong-Jeongguk,” you hiccup, “S’too much, please, gonna cum.”
Jeongguk is shaking above you and you sob as the pleasure peaks, Jeongguk continuing to fuck up against you as you cum, clenching hard around nothing and whining in displeasure over it.  He noses eagerly at your neck, licking furiously at your skin as his thrusts grow erratic, close to his own orgasm.
You reach further down so you can brush feather light fingertips over the body of his cock.  His shifted cock is much different than a human cock, no mushroom head but thick at the base where his knot would be.  You groan as you think about it, the dirty mechanics of being knotted like this, out in the open in camp with your knees pressed to the ground and your dress pushed up to your breasts.  Your panties are useless at this point, sopping wet and glued to the ridges of your cunt.
You feel Jeongguk throw his head back and howl loudly as the first spurts of his cum shoot up to your tits, smearing against the skin of your stomach before it drips down onto the inside of your dress.  It’s disgusting, and filthy, and you’re horrified to learn that you love it, the feeling of being utterly dominated like this.
Jeongguk pants against your skin as he expends all that he has, his body sagging against yours but not forcing you down to the ground.  Your body is shaking as he steps back from you, his snout trailing down your back and to your crack, nosing at the thin fabric of your panties.  You can feel the puffs of his breath against your soaked skin and you slowly push yourself up, arms and legs shaking.
You’re breathing hard as Jeongguk walks around you, eyes brilliant as he stares at you.  His tongue flicks out to lick at your cheek and you breathlessly giggle, Jeongguk pressing his face against your chest to slowly guide you back, laying you against your sleeping pad.
You’re tired, the exhaustion settling in your bones as you glance up at the slightly blue tinted sky.  It has to still be early, but when you glance over, Alpha Kim and Yoongi are gone, which you are immensely thankful for.
However, Jeongguk doesn’t give you time to rest.  He sniffs earnestly at your neck, rubbing his face and tongue against you as he works his way down.  Your dress feels disgusting from where the cum covered front is pressed to your skin, but Jeongguk just brushes it up over your breasts, licking at one nipple and then the next before he continues down.  He cleans your stomach of himself, nose warm and tongue warmer, and you’re not ashamed at the way arousal has started to pool in your stomach again.
Jeongguk must be able to smell it, tongue pressing more eagerly the closer he gets to your cunt.  He nudges your thighs apart with his snout, growling appreciatively when they spread and your smell hits him full force.  He bites at your panties, pulling the thin fabric away and down your legs, tossing them in a random direction over his shoulder before the point of his tongue flicks against your clit.
You don’t bother to stifle your moan, the feeling of his tongue rough in texture as it presses harder with every lick, cleaning you of your dripping arousal with valiant effort.  You cry out when his tongue presses inside you, licking at your walls deeper than most cocks have ever reached. You can’t stop the little sounds you make, the humping of your hips against Jeongguk’s face as the pleasure builds.
If he tongues this good you can’t imagine the damage he can do with his cock, spearing you open effortlessly and making you cum multiple times.  You clamp down around his tongue as you think about it, wishing he would just fuck you, shifted or not, cumming to the thought of it.
Jeongguk snuffles happily against you, licking your cunt clean of your cum and your thighs free of sweat.  When you gain the energy to lift your head, Jeongguk is hunched over you, licking his jowls with his tail wagging.  His tail wagging.  It’s so ridiculous you can’t help but laugh, letting your head thunk back against the ground as you hear the telltale sound of his bones shifting.
After a few moments of silence, gentle hands lead your legs closed, running up your sides to grab your dress and pull it up and off, hitting the ground with a wet smack.
“C’mon, there’s a little stream near here, let’s get you cleaned up,” his voice is laced with sex and you shiver, letting him pull you up and onto shaky legs, opting to just carry you when you end up swaying.
It’s not awkward to be naked in front of him, rubbing cold, clean water against your skin.  Jeongguk watches you for a few minutes, appreciating the dip of your fingers between your thighs as you clean yourself of spit and arousal and your cum.  He finally strips himself and you can’t help but stare.  Even in human form he’s big, cock hanging half hard and heavy between his legs, thigh and abdominal muscles toned and flexing as he perches himself on a jutting rock to wash himself.
Your mouth is watering and you don’t even care; you can feel the weight of cock on your tongue and you specifically want his in your mouth right now, dragging your tongue down the protruding vein and around the bulbous head.
“We’ll never get back to the camp if you keep staring,” Jeongguk smirks over at you, brushing his hands down his thighs in an obviously teasing manner.
“I want to suck you off,” you confess easily, squeezing your thighs together when you see Jeongguk’s gaze darken and his cock jump.
“Later,” he promises, and you’re practically drooling when he fists his cock, hand tightening on an upward stroke, “we really do need to be going.”
“Then quick jerking off,” you whine petulantly, and Jeongguk has the audacity to laugh at you.
Jeongguk gives you his tunic to wear back to camp as a makeshift dress, keeping a small bit of distance from you, which is much too far considering he had almost fucked you into the ground earlier.  This must be his way of attempting to be respectful, or at least you hope so; just the thought of Jeongguk regretting any of it or being ashamed makes your stomach clench painfully.
Alpha Kim and Yoongi are packing up camp when you arrive.  They give the both of you a knowing look and you blush as you duck your head, realizing they must be able to smell what you two had done.
“Come,” Yoongi smirks, the word intentional, “if we leave now we’ll get home before lunch.”
Home.  It sounds pleasant and right coming from Yoongi.  You’re going home, not just to their pack, but your pack now.
-
There’s a small welcoming ceremony when the four of you finally arrive and you’re overwhelmed by the positivity of the pack.  Their numbers have grown, but it’s not the size of some other shifter packs you’ve seen.
Jeongguk keeps close to you as elder pack members pull you into a hug, welcoming you to your new home and encouraging you to ask for help when you need it.  Shifted pups sniff at you, particularly your stomach which makes you blanch, before yipping and wagging their tails happily at you.
“This is Y/N,” Alpha Kim booms to the crowd, “Y/N selflessly volunteered herself to be Jeongguk’s mate to prevent us from losing him to his feral side.”
The little pack cheers and you blush at their enthusiasm.
“Let us let these future mates have time for themselves,” Alpha Kim turns to you and smiles, “Please, rest.  The journey was long and I’m sure you’re… tired.”
You try not to react, knowing that he’s not talking about the walking.
“I’ll show you to our cabin,” Jeongguk tells you softly, placing a hand on your lower back to lead you away, “Thank you everyone.  We’re happy to be home.”
You smile and wave at everyone as you walk away, Jeongguk leading you towards the center of their pack territory.  It’s a foreign feeling to you, so used to staying out of your tribe that you don’t know what to do knowing you’re going to be living in the thick of it.
“These cabins look so nice,” you comment, looking at the smattering of cabins around you.
“Alphas build cabins before they take a mate,” Jeongguk explains, “Outside of me, none of our alphas are of age yet, so no one is preparing to build.”
“Woah, you built this?  That’s impressive,” you exclaim, as he reaches for the door.
He stops with his hand on the handle, seemingly frozen, before he turns hurriedly to you, “Um… actually, could you stay out here for a moment?”
You furrow your eyebrows, confused, but nod.  Jeongguk gives you a quick, thankful smile, slipping in through the slightest crack so you can’t see inside.
You feel a little foolish standing outside Jeongguk’s cabin - well, your cabin now, as well.  You can hear frantic clattering inside and Jeongguk’s light footsteps as he runs around.  You hear the terrible screech of a window opening, and when you bend around the corner of the cabin you can see what looks like trash being thrown out of it.  It startles a laugh out of you, realizing Jeongguk is cleaning for you, and it’s so endearing.
You wait patiently, knowing Jeongguk wants to make a good impression on you.  Finally, the door creaks open, before Jeongguk pushes it open wide and steps aside.
“Please, come in,” he says, slightly out of breath, and you giggle at him.
“I could have helped you clean,” you tell him, stepping past him and he ducks his head after being caught.
It’s modest, and homey.  There’s a little kitchenette to use when you don’t want to go to the main dining hall, a small sitting area, and a hallway that leads to a small bathroom and bedroom.  There’s a pack bathhouse that they utilize, so the bathroom has a toilet and small wash tub for a quick rub down, and the bedroom is just a pile of furs.
“I know it’s not much but-” Jeongguk seems embarrassed, scratching behind his ear as he avoids your gaze.
“I love it,” you tell him honestly, “it’s very comfortable, very… you.  And I like you.”
The blush that spreads across Jeongguk’s face is satisfying and you grin at him.  You were worried you and Jeongguk were going to have an awkward period of forcing yourselves to get to know each other, but it’s been pretty natural.  There might have been some truth to Jeongguk’s words that you volunteering made it easier for you two to connect, as there’s no expectations for either of you.
“I know Alpha Kim said we have time for ourselves, but there are pack duties I need to get caught up on,” Jeongguk tells you, almost sounding regretful that he has to leave.
“That’s okay, I understand,” you tell him, and you truthfully do, but there’s a small pit of nervousness at the thought of being by yourself as you’re still unsure of the inner workings of the pack, “but um, am I… allowed to be out by myself?”
Jeongguk gives you a strange look, placing his hands on your shoulders and smoothing them down your arms, “You’re part of the pack now and my future mate.  You don’t have to walk on eggshells around us, gods know no one out there will.  Please familiarize yourself with the pack, it’s home now.”
You nod, feeling ashamed about your question, but unable to articulate to Jeongguk how out of place you felt when you were in the midst of your tribe.  Jeongguk hesitates for a moment, swaying back and forth, before apparently coming to his decision and leaning down to press his lips to your forehead.
With a horrifying sense of clarity, you realize you let Jeongguk go down on you before you’ve even properly kissed.  But then again, you two don’t have an exactly conventional relationship.
“I shouldn’t take too long,” he whispers against your skin, seemingly unwilling to go.
“Okay,” you whisper back, smiling when he kisses your forehead again.
As they say, parting is such sweet sorrow.
-
You take the time to introduce yourself to the surrounding cabins, receiving delighted responses.  You feel bad, because there are so many names thrown at you in a short time frame that you don’t remember most of them.  You met Alpha Kim’s son, Namjoon, and two people claiming to be Jeongguk’s best friends, Jimin and Taehyung.  There’s the old lady just a cabin down from yours, who winks rather lasciviously at you when she tells you that the wood the cabins are made with are thick and block sound.  There’s a human girl around your age named Jihyo on the other side of your cabin who is super sweet and invites you in for tea, which you postpone to another afternoon.
You meet another girl on the way back to your cabin, because you are actually really tired, who introduces herself icily as Ina.  Despite her attitude, you bow politely at her.
“So, you’re Jeongguk’s mate,” she says kind of tersely, after having sniffed at the air around you with a look of disdain.
You’re familiar with this kind of attitude, which is very reminiscent of your tribe, so you continue to be polite to her.
“I am!  I’m Y/N,” you introduce yourself, “It’s nice to meet you Ina.”
“I heard Alpha Kim say you volunteered.  I’ve never heard of someone volunteering,” she continues.
“I remember it happening once when I was a kid, but back then-”
“Did you only volunteer because you think he’s hot?” she interjects over you.
Your mouth clicks shut, unsure of how to answer her.  You’re afraid if you say no, she’ll wheedle her way into the depths of your soul and pull your tragic reasoning out.  But you can’t say yes, because not only is it not true, but you’re afraid that she’ll spread an ugly rumor around that you’re shallow.
It’s a conundrum you’re not sure how to approach, but thankfully your saving grace is a smiling older woman placing her hand on your shoulder and deflecting Ina’s question.
“Ina, what’s with the inquisition?  Y/N dear has had a long journey, we have plenty of time to get to know her as a person, and as a mate for Jeongguk.”
Ina looks embarrassed at her interruption and bows to the older woman, with a small sorry before she scurries off.
“I’m sorry, you didn’t have to get involved-” you start but she waves your apology off.
“Don’t worry about it.  And don’t worry about Ina, she’s just feeling slighted right now.  Is it okay if I take up some of your time?  I’d love to have a cup of tea and get to know you,” she smiles so prettily at you, eerily familiar, and you find yourself nodding before you remember you were going to take a nap.  Too late now.
“Would you like to come back to Jeongguk’s cabin?  Well, mine too I guess.  Um, our cabin-” you stumble over yourself, out of your depth as she laughs.  Not at you, but at the obvious confusion you’re having trying to fit yourself into the pack.
“Sure deary, let’s go,” she links her arm with yours, turning you to your cabin.
You spend a pleasant hour with her, apologizing at first for not knowing where Jeongguk keeps his stuff but easily locating a kettle and some tea.  She introduces herself as Minseo and gives you a brief history of the pack, and some of the members, before she conspiratorially asks if you want to hear stories of Jeongguk from when he was a child and you quickly agree.
That’s how Jeongguk finds you, kneeling at the little table with Minseo, tears in your eyes as she recounts a story of a buck naked teenage Jeongguk jumping into a lake on a dare and not evening completing it.  He looks shocked to see you and Minseo giggling against each other, tea refilled and steaming, before it transforms into a serene look.
“Hi mom,” he greets Minseo and you abruptly stop giggling, turning to the woman beside you with wide eyes and a hanging mouth.
She grins sneakily around the rim of her mug, “Ah, baby, you ruined my fun, I hadn’t told her I was your mother yet.”
He rolls his eyes but is still smiling as he leans down to kiss the top of her head, snickering to himself when he sees how shocked you still are as he kisses your cheek.
“Are you staying for dinner?  We’ll be eating here tonight, Omega Kim is bringing us bear as a treat.”
“Omega Kim has always been so sweet on you, you’d think she was your mother and not me,” Minseo pouts and Jeongguk coos.
“Maybe if you were nicer to me,” he singsongs, not even trying to avoid the slap she aims at his shoulder.
“Yah, do you know how long I was in labor with you?” Minseo complains but she’s smiling, looking so incredibly happy as she gazes at him.
“I’m sure you’ll remind me.”
“A whole day, Guk, an entire day of pain and agony and spreading my legs so your grandmother could check just to tell me you were being stubborn and weren’t coming out despite being stretched by a watermelon.”
Jeongguk groans, “Do you have to be so graphic about it?”
“It’s not like it’s something you won’t go through,” she teases and the implication brings a blush to your cheeks.
You and Jeongguk?  Kids?  You’ve barely though past your mating ceremony, but you suspect it’s a normal thing for mother-in-laws to be worried about.
“Besides, with the way our little Y/N smells, it doesn’t seem like you’re all that shy about it,” she says knowingly and you choke on your tea.
“Mom!” Jeongguk groans, avoiding looking at you as he scratches behind his ear, “Please.”
Minseo grins to herself, downing the last of her tea as she stands on creaky knees.  Jeongguk helps her to her feet, you pushing yourself up to follow them to the door.
“I’ll let you two have your time.  Please dear, don’t be a stranger, I love visitors,” she tells you sincerely and despite your mortification that she can somehow smell what you and Jeongguk had been up to, you wholeheartedly agree, “And Jeongguk, eat some more, your cheeks are getting thin.”
“Yes mom,” he tells her dutifully, kissing her cheek before she hugs you goodbye.
You wave at her, watching her bustle down the path, before Jeongguk shuts the door.
“Can everyone smell your cum on me or something?” you ask and Jeongguk bursts out laughing, though you can see a bit of embarrassment lingering on his face.
“Well, kind of, but it’s mainly just me.  You probably can’t smell it because you don’t have the sense for it but each of us have our own, uh, scent.  So earlier when we… ahem,” Jeongguk clears his throat, seemingly unwilling to explicitly mention it and you grin at that, “a lot of my scent would have transferred over to you.  That’s what everyone is referring to.  They’re probably surprised because scenting is kind of an intimate thing and we’ve only just met.”
“Oh,” you hum, “so I smell like you.  That means everyone knows whose mate I am, that I belong to you.”
Jeongguk makes a strangled sound and clears his throat again, “Yes, that you- yes.”
The two of you stand by the door, just staring at each other, before Jeongguk moves away to head to the kitchen.   There aren’t many dishes to do, but Jeongguk does them anyway, and you think he’s doing them just to have something to do.  You decide to help him, sliding silently up beside him and taking a dripping dish from him quietly.
It’s quiet between you two as you work together, Jeongguk washing and you drying them before putting them away.  Finally you ask a question, addressing the difference between you.
“Does it bother you?  That I’m not shifter, so I have no way of scenting you back?” you ask softly.
Jeongguk takes a moment to answer, scrubbing at a spot in the sink that looks stained and unable to come out.
“No,” he finally says, “my mate doesn’t have to be similar to me in order to be a good match for me.  I don’t need someone who has good eyes or good sense of smell,” here’s teasing you here, judging by the tongue he sticks out at you, “or a certain status for me to want to spend my life with them.  I just want someone I’m comfortable with and who makes me happy.”
The answer settles something pleasant in your stomach and you smile shyly at him.
“But…” he hesitates for a moment, “I do want to apologize.”
“For what?” you ask, putting the towel you were drying with back on a rack.
“This morning,” he says softly, “I hope I didn’t… force myself on you or make you feel uncomfortable.  I mean, I enjoyed it, and judging by the sounds you were making you did too, but I never verbally checked with you and that was wrong of me.”
You bump your shoulder against his, before leaning against him, “Jeongguk, it’s okay.  You didn’t force me.  Caught me by surprise, sure, but… it was good.  You were good,” you’re blushing, hiding your face against his tunic sleeve, but you don’t care, “I liked it and I wasn’t exactly quiet about wanting to do more after, was I?  We have a week before our mating ceremony, so maybe we can just… explore until then?”
Alpha Kim had explained that it’s a big tradition within the pack, a little ceremony held in front of the pack, with food and dancing.  Then, you head off to the outskirts of the pack clearing where there’s a mating clearing, an area blessed by the Moon Goddess.  You and Jeongguk aren’t allowed to have penetrative sex until then, a tradition long held in their pack that the first “real” copulation has to be blessed by Her for a good life together.  At least Jeongguk’s already semi fucked you outside, so it won’t feel so foreign actually getting mounted in the open like that.  Besides, it’s not like you can’t do other things.
“You can’t say things like that with a straight face,” Jeongguk groans, “You have no idea how hard it was for me to tell you not to suck me off this morning.”
You laugh, Jeongguk turning you to gently pull you into his arms, “You have no idea how hard it was for me to not just drop to my knees and do it anyway.”
Jeongguk growls and you shiver, Jeongguk holding you close to his chest as he presses a loud kiss behind your ear.  He moves to pepper kisses down your neck, nipping at your pulse point while you scrabble to hold onto his back.
“Jeongguk,” you breathe, “kiss me, please.”
He wastes no time pulling back to press his mouth to yours, swallowing the whine you let out as he pushes you tightly against the counter.  You’re ignoring his semi for the moment, pressed deliciously right up against you, to enjoy the feeling of his mouth practically devouring you.  His tongue feels as good in your mouth as it did in your cunt, brushing against your own and against the back of your teeth hotly.
Jeongguk’s hands can’t decide if they want to grab at your ass, your waist, or your thighs, kneading whatever skin they come in contact with.  At some point they’re in your hair, tugging you away from his mouth with force so he can kiss down the front of your throat to your collarbones, biting and sucking bruises into your tender skin.  All you can do is take it as he forces his hips upward, groaning as he nestles his covered cock right between your pussy lips.  You’re still wearing his tunic as a dress, so you can feel him in his entirety and god is he big.
“You’re gonna drive me crazy,” he growls, your skin stinging from the bite he just left that he soothes with his tongue, “I can smell how wet you are already.  Just wanna go down on you until you cry, finger you until you’ve came so many times you lose count.”
“Jeongguk,” you sob, overwhelmed with how bad you want him, “touch me, please.”
“Come on,” he lets go of your hair to pull you up on his hips by your thighs, “so many things I want to do to you.  You stepped up to that stage with no fear and clear determination, looked me right in the eyes like I can’t bring you to your knees.  Wanted to bend you over and fuck you right then, show your whole tribe the sweet pussy they’d be missing. Fuck, Y/N.”
There are actual tears in your eyes as Jeongguk stomps his way to the bedroom, softly laying you in your pile of furs.  He towers over you on his knees, eyes roving over you as he takes in your flushed face and heaving chest, smirking at the way your thighs rub together.
“Pull your tunic up,” he instructs and your hands quickly fall to grip the hem, “slowly.”
You swallow thickly, taking a few deep breaths as Jeongguk places his hands just below your knees, eyes falling to watch the way your fingers shake.  You pull it up slowly, eyelashes fluttering as you savor the drag of the fabric against your sensitive skin.  Jeongguk hums, fingers creeping up your legs the farther you pull the tunic up, licking his lips when he sees your panties and the wet spot they’re sporting.
You pause when you reach your navel, letting your fingertips trail against your skin as the goosebumps erupt.
“So pretty, baby,” Jeongguk breathes, the furs shifting under his knees as he leans over you more, abs quivering from exertion, “What a show, keep going.”
You whimper a little, placing your hands flat against your stomach as you continue to push the tunic up, feeling yourself up.  Your hands slide up your sides causing you to shy away from the ticklish touch and your fingers brush just under your breasts.  You jolt at the feeling of Jeongguk’s tongue against your stomach, hands flying down to grip at his hair.
“Did I say you could stop?” he growls, biting softly at your skin, tongue hot and wet, “Show me those tits, baby.”
“Jeongguk,” you moan, arching your back as you push the tunic up higher, your exposed nipples immediately hardening in the cold air, “feels good.”
“Take it off,” he commands and you listen, struggling to pull the tunic over your head while laying down since he won’t move back to let you sit up.
“Touch them,” he orders and you pinch your nipples softly, moaning louder, “Mmm, harder.”
You listen to him, pinching harder as he travels up your torso, leaving little lovebites in his wake.
“‘M gonna fuck these pretty tits one day,” he tells you, licking the valley between your breasts, before he bites rather harshly at your right breast, his hand swamping your own on your left breast.
He massages the left as he wraps his mouth around the right, sucking harshly and biting at your sensitive skin.
“Guk,” you sob, one hand trapped under his and the other gripping onto his bicep, “your mouth, I- fuck!”
Jeongguk grins, nipple tight between his teeth as he tugs, letting it go with a wet smack, “Touch your pussy baby, just a little.  Show me how wet you are for me.”
You’re soaked.  Without even touching yourself you can feel the way your panties cling to your skin.  Is it always going to be like this with Jeongguk?  You sure fucking hope so.
Jeongguk lets go of your breast to plant his hand into the furs beside your head, giving himself leverage as he switches from kissing your chest to marking your neck.  You squirm as his body heat settles over you, so close to touching you but so far away.  His chest brushes against yours, your nipples rubbing against his sweaty skin as his hair brushes against your cheek.  You whine into his ear as you massage the junction of your thighs, canting your hips up to try and brush against the front of him.
“Just a little,” he reminds, voice raspy against the shell of your ear, biting gently on your earlobe, “Touch yourself through your panties first, tell me how wet you are.”
You breathlessly follow his instructions, letting your fingers wander from the apex of your thighs to the top of your mound.  Your heart is beating erratically as you massage it slowly, so close to your wetness but teasing yourself just a little more.  Jeongguk has the perfect vantage part from your neck to watch your hands work, chest rumbling with the first touch of your fingertips against your clit, acting like he feels it just as acutely as you do.
“Oh,” you breathe out, Jeongguk’s teeth sinking in behind your ear.
“Tell me,” he growls, “Tell me how you feel.”
“So wet,” you immediately concede, brushing your fingers down to rub against your entrance where your wettest, “I want you so bad Jeongguk, I’m aching for you.”
Your pussy makes an audible sound as you rub your fingers against the fabric of your panties.
“Pull them down, just a bit,” his voice is rough as he pants, eyes trained on your fingers as he loses sight of them exploring between your lips, “Wanna smell you.”
You shimmy them down slowly, body wiggling under Jeongguk’s as you get them down just far enough for you to work with.  Jeongguk’s groan is low as your smell hits him and he licks a stripe up your neck.
“Put a finger in.”
You don’t disobey him, breaching your walls with just one like you’ve been told.  You’re so wet you can barely feel it and you whine in dissatisfaction.
“One not enough for your greedy pussy?” he sneers, raising himself onto his haunches to get a better look at what you’ve put on display, “Two, then, but only two.”
You work a second one in and the stretch is nice, but nowhere near filling.  Jeongguk watches the push and pull of your fingers, crossing his arms over his chest as he casually observes you.  It’s so apathetic you cry out, willing him to do something, but he doesn’t.  He lets you finger yourself for a few minutes, watching your drip onto the pile of furs beneath you as he breathes steadily.  The only real way you can tell he’s affected is by the way his nostrils are flaring and how dilated his pupils are.
“Feel good?” he finally asks.
“You’d feel better,” is your instant answer and he seems pleased, giving you a smug smirk as he shrugs his top off, “Could touch me so much better, your fingers are-are thicker and longer and-”
Jeongguk leans down to press a kiss to the center of your sternum, hands raising to grip your hips tight.
“Fuck, baby, you smell fantastic,” he groans, tongue slithering out as he trails down, biting and sucking as he goes, “Tasted so good on my tongue, can’t wait to eat you out again.”
“Please,” you beg, you whimper, you plead, “please touch me, Guk.”
“Okay, baby, since you’ve asked so nicely,” his hands slide down your hips and around your thighs, settling his shoulders between your legs.  You keen at the stretch, cool air brushing against your wet pussy as Jeongguk takes a moment to watch your fingers at eye level.
“Show me how wet you are,” his voice has dropped, tone low and rough and you exhale hard through your nose as you do as he asks, scissoring your fingers as you pull them out so he can see how thoroughly coated they are, “Fuck yeah…”
Despite the gruffness of his voice, his hands are gentle as he takes your wrist in his hands and presses them into the bed.  Jeongguk is so utterly focused on your pussy, using his thumbs to spread your lips apart as he takes in a deep breath.  It’s a little embarrassing for you, but the unrestrained moan he lets out overpowers anything your feeling as you squirm in his hold.
“I can’t wait any longer,” he mutters to himself you think, before he all but attacks your pussy with his tongue.
“Guk!”
He’s vicious, tongue laving from top to bottom as he eats you out, basically swallowing you whole.  You’ve stretched yourself enough from your two fingers that his slip in easily, and he’s quick to push it to three, working them in tandem with his tongue.
You’re practically vibrating beneath Jeongguk, physically unable to keep your mouth closed as you let him know just how good it feels.  You’re so worked up you can feel your orgasm approaching fast, your thighs beginning to shake the closer it gets.
“Oh, cumming, I’m-” you try to speak but you feel like you’re about to swallow your tongue.
Just as you feel like you’re about to tumble over the precipice, just when you can taste it in your mouth, Jeongguk rips himself away from you and your orgasm comes to a screeching halt.
“No, nonono,” you cry, frustration tears budding in the corner of your eyes as you reach out to a panting Jeongguk, “Why did you-!”
“Shh, it’s okay baby, just relax,” he coos, leaning down to press kisses into your thighs as he brushes his hands lovingly up your sides, “calm down for me, yeah?”
You pout down at him, wiping at your eyes as you huff.
“Just trust me, okay?” he smiles cutely at you, like that makes it feel better, as he softly buries his tongue back into you.
You want to be mad because you were so close, but his tongue calms you down and you sink back into the feeling.  Jeongguk seems eager to get back at it and you sigh as the feeling builds back up.  He alternates between sticking his tongue in you and thumbing your clit and dredging his fingers against your walls as he sucks on your clit like a man starved.
It doesn’t take long for you to feel the beginnings of your orgasm approaching and you decide to keep it to yourself.  But Jeongguk must pick up on the tells of your breath quickening and your hands becoming restless because just as you’re about to tip over the edge again Jeongguk pulls away with a wet smack.
“No!” your hands fly up to cover your face because you’re actually crying this time, tears of frustration slipping down your temples into your hairline.
“Pretty girl,” Jeongguk kisses his way up your body, nosing at your ear as he smooths a hand through your hair, “Take a deep breath for me.”
You sniffle into his shoulder, smacking his bicep weakly as you cling onto him, “Why are you being such a dick?  I just wanna cum.”
“I know you do,” he kisses the tip of your nose, before pressing a smothering kiss to your mouth, “And you will, it’ll feel good, I promise.”
“How am I supposed to know if you keep stopping!” you complain and he laughs into your skin as he settles between your legs again.
Jeongguk presses apologetic kisses to your pussy, humming as he slips his tongue up and around your clit as he eases his fingers back in.
“Sorry baby, forgive me?” he grins devilishly at you and you can’t answer, eyes already starting to roll from how deprived you feel.
“Please no more teasing,” you whimper, threading shaky fingers through Jeongguk’s hair, “I don’t think I can take any more.”
“Okay pretty,” he acquices, and you can see the physical change in him, the way his tongue turns pointed and the way his fingers stiffen inside you, “I’ll let you cum.”
You almost wish you had let him do as he pleased, because he works you up to a quick orgasm and tongues you through it, wrapping a hand around your waist to hold you to the bed as you squirm and twitch and gasp your way through it until you’re finished but he… doesn’t stop.
“G-Guk, that’s-” too much, but the words die in your throat as he merely buries his face farther in your pussy, fingers taken to stroking the upper bounds of your walls to keep them lodged up to his knuckles.
“You wanted to cum,” he tells you darkly, mouthful of pussy, “So cum.”
“I did,” you squawk, futilely trying to close your legs around his head, but he easily holds them open, “I c-can’t!  Not again!”
“You will,” he tells you simply before he dives back in.
And you do.  Two more times, the feeling not as all encompassing but just as intense, leaving you slack jawed and with an aching back from how you arch and shy away from his touch.  Your body melts into the furs when his fingers finally retract from inside you, tongue leaving your clit numb and sore.
“Such a good girl, make so many pretty sounds for me,” Jeongguk murmurs, massaging your hips as he lays beside you, “Did so well for me, baby.  Gimme a kiss.”
Your mouth barely works but you kiss him, Jeongguk leaning his torso over yours to make it easier on you.
“You’re still hard,” you note, glancing down to see the bulge in his pants, hidden away from you for too long.
“It’s okay, don’t worry about it,” he tells you but you whine.
“Wanna suck you off, been thinking about it all day,” you admit and he makes a low sound in the back of his throat.
“Yeah?  Wanna suck your alpha off?  Wanna make me feel good?” he asks, voice low and soothing as you push yourself down his body, bringing his pants with you.
You groan at the feel of him, cock sticky with your arousal.  You don’t care about that, and don’t hesitate to suck on his head, hand moving down to play with his balls and twist at the base where you know a knot is waiting for you.  You want it in you so bad you whine around his cock, pushing down so you can suck on more of him, tucking your teeth behind your lips so you didn’t nick him.
Jeongguk groans above you, hands carding through your hair to hold it back, watching your mouth work him over enthusiastically, spit dribbling from the corner of your mouth.
“Ah, baby, just like that,” he moans, giving a tentative thrust of his hips that you gag around, “So eager.”
Jeongguk is big, and most of his cock doesn’t fit in your mouth, so you happily suck what you can and fist the rest of him.  He feels as good in your mouth as you expected him to, heavy against your tongue and the taste heady.  You pull off to breathe, jaw aching from the girth of Jeongguk’s cock, and he coos as you gasp for air.
“So good baby, so close, just a little more, yeah?  Gonna cum down that throat of yours, gonna feel so good, mmm,” he moans as you swallow him back down, fighting through your need to gag to hold your mouth around him and just suck, twisting your hands around the rest of him, “Y/N.”
You whine as Jeongguk reaches down to hold your head steady, before catching on that he wants to fuck your mouth.  You moan around him, making sure to keep your teeth hidden as you tongue at the head each time he thrusts in.
“Ah, yes, yes, gonna cum,” Jeongguk growls, leaning up on an elbow to watch your face intently as you glance up at him, “Hnng!”
There’s so much cum and you try to swallow as much as you can, but you have to pull off to breathe and a few splatters land on your cheek and jaw.  You continue to jerk him through it and Jeongguk hisses through his teeth at the sensitivity, baring his neck as he lets you work his cock roughly before he unceremoniously pulls you up to him to shove his tongue in your mouth.
You laugh breathlessly as you fall against him, trying to keep up.
“You’re insatiable,” you condemn and he grins against the column of your throat.
“You just make me feel so good, sound so pretty for me,” he tells you, “Want to fuck you so bad.”
You can’t help the way you clench your legs together and Jeongguk can feel the muscle movement from where you’re settled on his lap, calming down together.
“Soon,” he promises, running his hands up your back as you relax against him, heart beat slowly returning to normal, “Let’s just enjoy yourselves, like you said.” 
-
You’re humming to yourself as you help prepare meat in the dining hall.  Some of the pack members had gone on a hunt the day before and the second run had gone out this morning.  They were trying to stock up on their own food, as well as add to the supplies they were going to trade to your tribe for the Lottery.  Well, your old tribe.
Jeongguk had gone out on the second run and he had been excited this morning.  Jeongguk told you he liked hunting more for the physical aspect than the actual hunting part, though he did disclose that one of his favorite memories was taking down an elk all by himself.  He promised to find a rabbit, which was meat you really liked, so you two could have dinner in your cabin and you found the gesture incredibly sweet.
However, when Minseo rushes into the preparation room, eyes wide and chest heaving, your heart drops into your stomach.  The chatter from the other pack members dies down quickly, as you all zero in on the absolute panic on Minseo’s face.
“Minseo what’s-”
“It’s Jeongguk,” she whispers, reaching a shaky hand to you, “Jeongguk’s hurt, we have to go.”
You hear the words, can see Jeongguk bleeding in your mind’s eye, but you can’t make your feet move.  Jeongguk’s hurt.  Your future mate is hurt and all you can think is the worst, hand tightening around the knife in your hand.
“Y/N, dear, it’s okay,” Minseo gently takes the knife from you, laying it on the table as your breathing shortens, “C’mon, he’s in the healing hut, let’s go see him.”
Minseo holds you close to her as the two of you sprint over to the healing hut.  The closer you get the louder it becomes and you two see the rest of the second run standing around outside, debriefing Alpha Kim.  Some of them are already bandaged up, favoring legs and holding limp arms to their chests.  You can only hope Jeongguk made it out with as minor injuries.
Alpha Kim notices you and Minseo drawing closer and beckons you into the hut, “He’s okay, he’s inside.  He’s asked for you, go see him.”
You quickly nod at him, bounding up the stairs and holding your breath as you push the door open.
The first thing you notice is how disheveled Jeongguk’s hair is, face dirty and gaunt and a small frown marring his face.  The second thing you notice is the bandage wrapped around the entirety of his left arm, stained red in some spots.  The third and last thing you notice is Ina curled up in Jeongguk’s lap, sobbing.
They haven’t noticed you and Minseo yet, the door opening too soft to be heard over the sound of Ina’s crying.  You go to take a step forward and announce your presence, but Minseo places a firm hand on your shoulder and shakes her head, motioning for you to be quiet.  You want to protest, to let them know you’re here, but realize Ina is talking as she cries.
“Why did you have to choose her?” she asks, hands clutching at Jeongguk’s pants, face hidden, “Why did you have to step out of the pack?”
Jeongguk sighs softly, a light hand placed on the back of her head as he tries to console her, “Ina, we talked about this…”
“No, you talked about it,” she vehemently denies, “You decided we weren’t a match and you decided to end it.  I wanted to work through it and stay together.”
Together?  You should have known from the way Ina had approached you and the way she talked to you that there had been something between them.
“I could have made you so happy,” she whispers, pulling away to look up at him.  Your heart breaks for her.
“Ina, I wouldn’t have been happy if I had stayed,” he breaks it to her in a gentle voice.
“You never even gave us a chance!” she rips herself away from him, standing up and turning so quickly that you barely have a chance to prepare for when your eyes meet
Ina’s nostrils flare dangerously but you meet her stare head on.  Jeongguk stands up behind her, ready to step in, but you shake your head at him.  You and her were going to have to talk it out one day, better now when everyone can bare witness.
“You’ll never take away the fact that I was his first,” she declares and you have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes at her childish attack.  You wanted to be civil, seeing as how you’re in the same pack now, but she’s made it clear she has no intentions of ever treating you as an equal.
“Well, we all make mistakes,” you shrug.  You can’t deny the little trill of fear that runs down your spine when her eyes narrow and her hands clench.
“You bitch-”
“Ina,” Jeongguk growls behind her, voice low and authoritative, “Don’t talk to her like that.  I didn’t “choose” Y/N; if she hadn’t volunteered it would have been whoever was drawn from the Lottery.  I’m sorry but that’s the truth.”
Ina’s face twists and she turns her head away for a moment before she charges forward.  Your eyes widen, bracing yourself for impact, but Minseo guides you away from the door to let her barrel out of it.
It’s quiet for a few moments, before Jeongguk sighs heavily and sits back on his medical cot.   His movement snaps you back into the moment and you take a small step towards him, causing him to raise his head to look at you.
Jeongguk looks exhausted as he simply stares at you for a moment, before he raises his arms in welcoming and you fall into him.  You wrap your arms around his shoulders, cradling his head to your chest as the tension in your body floods out of you.  You’re not surprised to find that a few tears fall, utterly relieved to see and feel that Jeongguk is only minorly injured.
“Y/N,” Jeongguk says tiredly, breath washing across your skin, “I’m sorry you had to see that.”
You shake your head, kissing his crown as you rub your fingers against the back of his neck, “I don’t care about Ina right now, are you okay?”
Jeongguk lets out a deep sigh again, the arms he had tightly wrapped around you growing limp, “So tired.”
“What happened?” you asked softly, “How did you get hurt?”
“Bear,” he says gruffly, “Took us by surprise.  Snagged m’arm with its claws.  Had’ta flee.”
His words are starting to slur and you squeeze him to you for a long moment before you slowly ease him back down onto the cot.  Jeongguk doesn’t fight against you, nuzzling against the hand you lay on his cheek as he gets comfortable.
“Rest now,” you kiss his cheek and his eyelashes flutter closed, “You’re okay.”
You watch his face even out as he falls asleep, the furrow between his eyebrows slowly smoothing.  When you turn around, you see Minseo watching the two of you with soft eyes and a softer smile.
She simply says, “Let’s let him rest.  We’ll prepare him dinner and you can deliver it later.”
“That sounds good.”
There’s quiet between the two of you as you head back to the dining hall before Minseo breaks it, “He was wrong, you know.”
“Jeongguk?” you question and she nods, “About what?”
“He says he didn’t choose you, but he’s wrong.”
“How so?” you ask, because you very plainly volunteered, there was no choosing on his end.
Minseo smiles serenely up at the clear blue sky, closing her eyes against the sunlight, “He chose you the moment you stepped forward.”
-
“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Jeongguk frowns at you, watching you change into heavier clothes.
You roll your eyes, completely exasperated with him, “I don’t care what you think, I want to do this.”
You pull a thick cloak around you, cinching it around your neck as you face him.  He’s tonguing his cheek, staring intensely at the wall as he thinks.  The two of you have been arguing about this for the past half hour, the both of you adamant on opposite stances.
“You don’t know the area well enough,” he finally settles on, “There are other pack members who would be more useful on this supply run.”
You pause in lacing your boots up, slowly and carefully facing Jeongguk as he seems to realize the implications behind his words.
“You think I’m useless?” you ask in an even tone and he takes a step towards you before you even finish.
“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he snaps, as you glare at him and shove past him.  He snags your arm to turn you to him before you can leave the bedroom, “I just meant-”
“I know what you just meant,” you rip your arm from his grasp, continuing down the hallway, “I can’t just be your bitch forever Jeongguk, I have to be of some use to the pack.”
“No one thinks-!” Jeongguk is hurrying after you as you head towards the front door, but you’re done listening.
“I’m going whether you like it or not,” you tell him fiercely, and he stands kind of dumbly in place, eyes wide and chest heaving, “I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“Y/N!” he calls out, but the only answer he gets is the slamming of your front door in his face.
When Alpha Kim had approached you about accompanying some pack members on a supply run, you had immediately said yes.  You’d only been with the pack for a few days but you felt like a burden, so you tried to pitch in wherever you could: clothes mending, laundry, food prep, farming.
This supply run would give you a chance to get to know some of the pack members a little better and the surrounding area as well.  You were excited about it, and it hurt your feelings a little when you had told Jeongguk and his response had been a shake of his head.
“No, I don’t think you should go,” he had said, casually, turning away from you like the conversation was over.
He seemed to think that because he was an alpha, what he said went, but you were your own person and you had already decided you were going on the supply run; you had told Jeongguk out of courtesy, not permission.  So you had simply left Jeongguk to his lunch and went to pack some of your belongings before you really began arguing, before he called you useless.
Now, you’re approaching the group gathered outside Yoongi’s cabin, the alpha the leader of this particular run.
“Ah, Y/N, good, you’re here.  That should be everyone, are we ready to set out?” his voice is quiet but commanding, and your little group quiets down as they nod their agreement.
You don’t look back as you follow the group out to the edge of your pack boundary line and across it, chatting with the human girl Jihyo.  You two have spent some time together since you’ve arrived and you feel better about not being the only human on the run.
Yoongi leads your group in his shifted form, nose to the ground as other shifted members flank the sides.  You dislike the idea of the shifters circling around you humans like you need protection, but considering you still don’t know the area, you don’t fight against it.  You’re sure they’re just being extra careful with you as well, considering how new you are.
You and Jihyo collect some simple and easy herbs as you walk.  There’s a deer den the group is headed to and there’s a black berry patch Jihyo had mentioned that was near it.  You’re expected to reach a camping spot by sun down, head into the deer den to catch them by surprise in the early morning, swing by the berry patch, and reach home just before dinner.  You hope that it’ll give you and Jeongguk enough time to calm down after your little spat to talk it through.
Yoongi stops suddenly in front of you, one of the pack members stumbling into him as he raises his nose to sniff quickly at the air, tail stiff with alert.  The others seem to realize something’s amiss as they crowd you and Jihyo in between them, watching the tree line for whatever it is Yoongi’s smelling.
Except Yoongi lets out an amused huff before he shifts back, turning to face the way your group had just come from.
“You might as well come out of hiding, I can smell you,” he calls out and you look where he’s looking, but with your diminished senses you can’t see anything.
Until a black body shifts its way between some bushes, head held high as he walks to you.  You roll your eyes and turn away from Jeongguk as he joins your group, padding his way up to Yoongi, ears and tail lowered in respect.
“Weren’t you attacked by a bear a two days ago?  Should you really be following us?” Yoongi asks rhetorically, before he shifts back.
Yoongi barely gives any of you time to adjust to the new addition to your group, sticking his nose back to the ground as he continues to follow the trail.
Jeongguk turns his head to look back at you but you push forward with Yoongi, refusing to spare him a glance.  You can feel your blood boiling. How dare he follow you like you’re some little girl who needs her father to watch over her.
Jeongguk doesn’t approach you as you and Jihyo continue to collect easy supplies as you walk.  You’re going a little slower than you expected, but the way the pack does things is different than you’re used to.
It becomes evident what’s given Yoongi some concern when he pauses over a dark splatter against a tree trunk, growling lowly in his throat as he sniffs at it.
“That’s… blood,” Jihyo whispers nervously by your side, subconsciously reaching down for your hand in search of comfort.
Jeongguk nears Yoongi and they seem to have a quick conversation if the look they share is anything to go by.  You’re surprised to see them motion for your group to head into the trees, off the established path.  One of the unshifted members behind you explains what’s happening when they sense your hesitation.
“It must be another shifter’s blood if Yoongi’s taking us into cover.  He must not be sure what’s hurt it,” he says, a shifter named Minho, “It looks like old blood though, so it’s probably more a precaution than anything.”
You nod and when you face forward, you can see Jeongguk is looking at you over his shoulder.  You give him a quick, reassuring smile and he accepts it, turning back to help beat down the grass for your group to walk through easier.
Yoongi seems satisfied with your cover after a few hours, shifting back to put a halt to the group.
“We’ll bed down here for the night,” Yoongi announces, the treetops hiding the waning sunlight, “We’re a little farther from the deer den than I would have preferred, but we’re capable and can make do.  I know there’s a little lake nearby where we can get some fish for extra food and wash up really quick, which we’ll do in shifts.  Minho, help me gather some wood.  Seulgi, Jeongguk, you head to the lake-”
“Wait, that’ll leave Y/N and Jihyo by themselves,” Jeongguk quickly interjects, meeting the withering glare Yoongi sends him head on.
“Your point?”
“W-Well, someone should stay with them, shouldn’t they?  Seulgi can handle fishing by herself, I’ll-”
“The two of you will catch more fish faster than just Seulgi by herself,” Yoongi counteracts, before his voice turns teasing, borderline mocking, “What’s the matter, Jeongguk?  Don’t trust your mate by herself?”
“That’s not-!” Jeongguk splutters and you snort, crossing your arms.
“Then Seulgi and you will gather the fish.  You should remember where the lake is, I won’t insult you by holding your hand and walking you to it.”
Jeongguk’s face turns red and he glowers, Seulgi nudging his shoulder good naturedly as they turn away.  Jeongguk does shoot you one last glance but you ignore him again, upset with his response to this whole situation.
“C’mon, let’s start setting up camp,” Jihyo says and you snap back to it, nodding as the two of you get to work.
Quickly, the two of you pat the ground down enough that you’ll be able to easily contain and control your small bonfire.  Jihyo shyly asks if she can set her sleeping pad near yours and you feel your heart constrict in a pleasant manner, pulling yours closer to hers in answer.  You like Jihyo and you hope that your friendship with her only grows.
“Jeongguk’s been acting kind of weird today,” she observes, almost hesitantly, like she’s afraid to cross any boundaries.
You sigh as the two of you settle in to wait for everyone to get back.
“Yeah, we had a fight this morning about this supply run.  We’ll be okay, I’m just upset with how much it seems like he doesn’t trust me.  I know we’ve known each other for less than a week, but all this seems completely uncalled for.  He followed me out here for god’s sake.”
Jihyo nods, taking it what you’re saying and thinking it over, before she says, “I have no advice, sorry.”
You laugh, patting her hand as you smile, “It’s okay.  It’s something Jeongguk and I have to figure out for ourselves.”
“For what it’s worth, it seems to me like he’s just worried about you; I’ve only known Jeongguk a few years and he’s always been kind of reserved and off on his own, but whenever you’re around he always seems to be a little more present and engaged.”
You sigh, running a hand through your hair, and she smiles reassuringly at you, as she says, “Maybe try and talk to him tonight, before bed.  You’re not supposed to go to bed angry, right?”
You stand as Minho and Yoongi breach your little clearing, arms loaded with more firewood than is probably necessary for a night, but it’ll be good to have as a precaution.  You’re the most adept at starting a fire, having had to use one everyday to heat your little hut in your old tribe and whenever you wanted to eat, so you have it going in no time at all.
The four of you sit and talk as you wait for Jeongguk and Seulgi to get back, and it takes longer than you were expecting.  You’re not sure how far this lake is but it can’t be that far and Jeongguk’s not enough of an idiot to have gotten lost.  You briefly think about the dried shifter blood and start to worry that whatever got it had got them.  Yoongi must detect the change in your heart rate because he shoots you a comforting smile.
The relief you feel when they finally come back, sacks loaded with fish, is overtaken by surprise when Jeongguk unceremoniously dumps a large and slimy catfish in your lap with a wet plop.
“I caught this for you,” he simply says, turning away immediately to hand his sack to Yoongi so they can start gutting the contents.
You stare at the fish in your lap for a moment, it’s dead beady eye staring back at you as you start to smile.  Even in the midst of a fight he’d been thinking of you and you shake your head, pulling a knife out of your belt to gut and debone it.
You wonder if, as you bed down for the night, Jeongguk is going to sleep beside you.  You’ve gotten used to sharing space with him the past few days and your sleeping pad feels empty without him.  He and Yoongi are talking on the other side of the smoldering fire, probably a plan for the sneak attack on the deer in the morning, and he looks handsome in the firelight.  His jaw is drawn tight, chewing on his lip as the two of them strategize, arms crossed over his chest with his biceps flexing as he shifts his weight from foot to foot.  He’s handsome, you’ll never deny that, and what makes him even more attractive is the way he cares, especially about others.  Especially about you.
You’re less mad at him now then you were earlier, but you know it’s something the two of you still have to discuss; he needs to realize that you are an individual and you get to make your own decisions, whether he agrees with them or not.  But you realize he was right in being worried about you going on the run in the first place, unfamiliar with the pack and the area. You’ll let him know that you’ll listen to him more next time if he’s willing to do the same.
Jeongguk suddenly glances over at you and you don’t shy away from his gaze, even if your heart does jump with surprise.  You scoot back on your pad a little to pat the space in front of you and he smiles, a small genuine one, before he motions you to wait a few more minutes.  You’re content with that, letting yourself relax as you watch him finish up his conversation, before he eagerly pads his way over to you.
“Gukkie,” you smile at him as he settles right beside you, wrapping an arm around your waist to haul you into him.
“Hey, pretty girl,” he greets, leaning in to kiss you softly, at odds with the way he tightly holds you close to him.
“The fish was good,” you tell him and he grins happily at you.
“Seulgi was getting mad at how long I was taking, but when I saw it I knew I wanted to get it for you,” he admits and you laugh at him.
“There were plenty of other catfish you could have caught,” Seulgi grumpily snaps at him, still awake and sitting by the fire even though her eyes are starting to droop, “It didn’t have to be that particular one.”
He ignores her and you poke his side for it, Jeongguk just burying his face in your shoulder.  You smooth a hand down his back, bunching his tunic top in your hands as you keep him close, breathing in his comforting scent as your body melts into him.  He shifts so the two of you are a little more comfortable, one of his arms sliding under your head as a makeshift pillow while one of your legs slides between his.
“Are we okay?” he whispers to you, the chatter of the last few pack members serving as quiet background noise.  You think you can hear Jihyo snoring, enhanced by the few crickets you guys haven’t scared away.
“I still want to calmly discuss it and not just accept your bribe of fish-”
“-it wasn’t a bribe-” he sulks.
“-but I get it,” you tell him gently, laying your free hand on his cheek.  He kisses your palm as you continue, “we should’ve talked it out more before I stormed off and you decided it was necessary to crash the party.”
Jeongguk has the decency to look sheepish, “Sorry I just- sorry.  Yoongi’s right, I should trust you more.  I just worry about you, being new to the pack and the area.  I trust the members with my life but if something happened to you on this run and I wasn’t here to protect you, I’d never forgive myself.”
“You won’t always be able to protect me,” you gently admonish him.
Jeongguk heaves out a heavy sigh, like it pains him to admit, “I know.  I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” you tell him, “I should have listened to your concerns seriously before I got mad.  It’s just… hard for me to listen to others. It’s been just me for so long, I’m not used to other people caring for me.”
“Sounds like we both have some things we need to work on,” Jeongguk notes and you smile into his neck.
“Together?” you whisper, glancing up at him.
“Together,” he smiles before he kisses you.
“Ugh, get a room,” Yoongi gags from the other side of the bonfire, and you and Jeongguk giggle into each other.
-
You and Jeongguk are incredibly sexually compatible, that much is obvious, but more than that, you find that you genuinely enjoy being around him.  Time and time again, you find the two simply together and enjoying each other’s presence, not just each other’s bodies.
It’s nice.  A comfortable life with someone you genuinely enjoy being around and someone you didn’t just settle for is not something you’d ever have.  Jeongguk makes you laugh until your stomach hurts, tears clinging to the corner of your eyes.  He makes you cry with soft stories of his childhood, recounting precious memories with his parents and grandparents, about friends that have come and gone.
It’s amazing.  He’s amazing.  You keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, for something to pop this bubble that you’ve been living in for the past few days, but it doesn’t come.  You don’t expect your life with Jeongguk to always be this easy, but you know that if you two continue to work together like you’ve been, you’ll be able to overcome anything.
“Our ceremony is in a few days,” Jeongguk tells you two mornings before your ceremony, curled around you with your head resting on his bicep.
He’s scratching at your scalp, and you’ve noticed these last couple of days that he’s lost most of his feral features.  His nails are short and blunt, and his fangs have retracted to match the rest of his teeth. You’ve learned that it wasn’t so much that Jeongguk’s feral transformation that made him lose his communication skills, but that he’s fairly reserved most of the time naturally.  It doesn’t bother you; you like watching Jeongguk just exist in the space around him, filling it entirely with his very being.
“I know,” you whisper, brushing the lightest touch against the newly started ink on his chest.  It’s part of the ceremony, Jeongguk having earned the right to bear the pack’s insignia, and it’ll be completed by the time you say your mating vows.
“Are you nervous?” he asks, using the leverage he has in your hair to tilt your head back, staring intensely down at you, “Are you regretting your decision?”
“No,” you tell him immediately, because you don’t, “there are some things I regret in life, but you’ll never be one of them.  But yes… I am nervous.  I don’t know why though.”
He smiles sweetly at you, kissing you even sweeter.
“I can’t wait,” he says honestly, smattering kisses across your face as he tries to pull you closer, though there’s miniscule space between you two already, “getting to do this with you for the rest of my life… it sounds almost too good to be true.”
You bury your face in his chest and he lets you, wrapping his arms tightly around you as he pins you to the furs.
“You’re sappy,” you mumble into his chest and he hums, not denying it, “but the rest of our lives has a nice ring to it.”
The only thing that could potentially put a damper on your mood is Ina, who has been nothing but rude and condescending to you.  You ignore her, for the most part, and don’t mention anything to Jeongguk because it’s not worth a second thought.  Jeongguk is your mate now and it’s something she’ll just have to accept.
Jeongguk’s friends, Jimin and Taehyung, are really sweet to you, and help you prepare for your ceremony considering your lack of friends.  But you think you can begin calling them friends of your own as they help rub oil into your skin, specifically around your neck, to help loosen and slightly numb it to prepare it for your mating bite.  They also help you make a necklace for Jeongguk, your own symbol of possession considering you can’t return his bite.
The night before your ceremony, you’re whisked away from Jeongguk, Minseo giggling at the outrage on his face.
“It’s bad luck to see your mate before the ceremony, Y/N’s gonna have to stay with me tonight,” she lies and you cackle as Jeongguk whines at her, uncaring of the fact that he’s amidst his pack in the dining hall.
Some of the older women coo at him as he stands, stalking towards the two of you as Minseo drags you around.  The rest of the pack joins in on the fun, pulling you around the hall as they block Jeongguk’s attempts from getting to you.  The both of you laugh as you play along, you hiding behind people as Jeongguk wrestles pups to the ground, acting like they’re his biggest obstacle.
“I’ll never get to her this way!” Jeongguk proclaims, letting one of the pups gain the upper hand and put him in a rather strong headlock for someone his size, “You’ll never take her from me!”
You giggle as Minseo comes around to collect you, pulling you out from behind a sweet omega named Taeyeon, tucking some hair behind your ear as she slides a clip into your hand.
You grip it tightly as she leans into you, whispering, “This was my mother’s.  It would… mean a lot to me if you wore it during your ceremony tomorrow.  Mother always wanted to see Jeongguk’s mating ceremony and I think she would have loved you.”
It brings tears into your eyes and you hug her tightly, as the crowd around you continues to laugh and play loudly.
“Thank you,” you cry.
Minseo kisses your cheek, keeping you close to her as she says, “Out of any daughter I could have received, I thank the gods it’s someone like you.  I know you and Jeongguk will be happy together.”
Minseo is going to have you flat out sobbing in a few moments as she pulls away to smooth your hair down before she steps back.  You wipe hastily at your eyes, pocketing the clip safe and secure in your pants.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” she tells you.
You go to answer, but familiar arms wrap around your waist and lift you up.  You squeal loudly, the crowd bursting into cheers as Jeongguk spins you, grin becoming visible as he shifts you until he has an arm around your back and under your knees, both your arms around his neck.
“Gotcha,” he’s smug, like it was actually a challenge to get to you.
“Oh no, whatever shall I do?” you sarcastically intone, pressing the back of your hand dramatically to your forehead, “It looks like the big bad wolf has caught me.”
“I’d be careful, little lamb; this big bad wolf has quite the appetite and it seems he’s caught something particularly tasty,” he licks his lips, winking at you, and there are whistles from the crowd.
You snicker but quickly school your features, fluttering your eyelashes at him as you say, “I wonder what I could possibly offer in exchange for my life?”
Jeongguk purses his lips, pretending to think, before he says, “I suppose I could spare you.  In exchange, you have to promise yourself to me.”
“Oh?  That’s a steep price,” you tease, biting your lip as Jeongguk growls a little at you, “Is it worth it, do you think?”
You hear a few people in the crowd shout out yes! and you grin at Jeongguk as he says, “You promise yourself to me, and I in turn promise to devote myself to you until I die.”
“I get to keep my life and receive a promise of my own?  Seems grossly unfair to me.  How about I tack on my own promise of devotion?”
Jeongguk doesn’t respond, just hoists you up a little farther so his aim is more on point when he kisses you hotly.  The crowd around you cheers the two of you on and you can’t quite hide the smile you’re sporting in the kiss, no matter how hard Jeongguk tries to eat it up.
-
The day of your ceremony, Minseo does steal you away from Jeongguk, practically shaking with excitement that she gets to help you dress.
Your dress is made of light cotton, something easy to slip in and out of, both for the ease of the party and the copulation.  Minseo rubs a sparkly powder made from fern flowers, flowers thought to have been blessed by the Moon Goddess, into your hair.  She gives you a watery grin when you slide Jeongguk’s grandmother’s clip into place, securing some hair out of your face.
You’re barefoot, to appreciate the earth beneath your feet, one of the blessings of the gods that allows your pack to survive and prosper.  It’s a beautiful day and at noon the pack members howl, signaling the start of the ceremony.
As Minseo guides you out of her cabin you feel your heart jump up into your throat from nerves.  You have the most absurd thoughts as you approach the center of the pack grounds, things like: will Jeongguk be there to meet you?; has all of this just been a sick joke, a taunt of the gods to show you what you’ll never have?; will you wake up back in your tribe, all alone again?
Minseo squeezes your shoulders as you suddenly stop, eyes wide and breath shortening.
“It’s okay sweetheart, just take your time,” she tells you, “you take this at your own pace, okay?  Today is about you and the start of your life with Jeongguk, this isn’t about anybody else.”
“Will he be there?” you ask her fearfully, afraid that when you reach the center he’ll laugh at you from the sidelines, as if you were ever good enough for him.
“Being Jeongguk’s mother, I know him inside and out.  Y/N, I’ve never seen Jeongguk look at someone the way he’s looked at you.”
You nod, taking a deep breath as Minseo smooths some of your hair down, waiting for your signal.  Finally, you nod with a bit more finality and step forward.
Various pack members throw seeds at your feet as you pass them.  The congregation grows thicker the closer you get to Jeongguk, but they’re purposefully blocking him from view, Alpha and Omega Kim standing at the very end.
“Y/N,” Alpha Kim greets you and you bow to him, “Please, rise.  Accept this gift of our pack, as we formally acknowledge that you are to be mated to one of our alphas, Jeon Jeongguk, and that better yet, you are officially one of our own.  Today and going forward, you are a part of our family.”
You wipe a tear from your eye as Omega Kim steps forward to place a rather simple but beautiful flower crown on your head, you bowing a little lower to show respect and thankfulness for the gift.
“Allow me to be the one to say this: out of any offering we could have chosen, I’m thankful you had the courage to volunteer.  Please, step forward and meet your mate.  If I can be blunt, he’s been rather anxious all morning.”
An indignant hey sounds from behind him and you laugh, the Kims parting to give you your first glance of Jeongguk and it steals your breath away.
He’s standing in the middle of the pack circle, wearing just as simple of a tunic as your dress, just as barefoot, and just as handsome as you’ve seen him everyday this week.  But his hands are clasped tightly in front of him, eyes glassy as he gazes so fondly at you it causes more tears to spring to your eyes.
Jeongguk holds his hands out as your step to him and you willingly follow the way he pulls you to him, dropping his forehead against yours.  The pack is quiet and respectful as you share the moment together, before you feel Jeongguk release a shaky breath.
“Hi,” he says, voice hoarse and you want to laugh but you can feel your lower lip wobbling.
“Hi,” you parrot, throat tight with emotions you’re currently unable to process.
“You look… more beautiful than anything I could have ever imagined,” he tells you, raw honesty shining through each word he speaks, “The clip- thank you.  I know grandmother is smiling down on us today.”
You can’t respond, choking on all the words you want so desperately to say to him, but he seems to understand you anyway if the spring light kiss he gives you is anything to go by.
There’s light applauding from the pack as you two straighten, Alpha and Omega Kim stepping up to the two of you.
“Everybody,” Alpha Kim intones, raising his hands high, “Please join me in blessing the joyous joining of these two bodies.  Though they are separate in physical form, they are one in soul.  May the Moon Goddess bless their lives together as we help watch over them, so is our promise as a pack.”
The shifters throw their heads back to howl as you and Jeongguk cross your arms to join hands, Omega Kim wrapping a twine rope that has been steeped in the same fern flower powder in your hair.  It sparkles against your skin, catching the sunlight as she wraps and wraps and wraps, up and down your arms until she knots it in place, knot hanging between your hands.
“In front of the pack, recite your promises.”
“As an alpha,” Jeongguk starts, staring directly at you, voice steady and resolute, “I promise to protect you with my life.  I promise to give you my all, so that we may have a good life together, here, within this pack, until fate intervenes or decides otherwise.  I promise to love you more today than I did yesterday, and love you even more tomorrow.  As my word is my bond, do you accept?”
You don’t think as you nod, already knowing what your answer is, “I accept.”
“Y/N, in front of our pack, please recite your promises.”
You take a moment to gather yourself, rubbing your cheeks against your shoulders to rid yourself of your tears since your hands are bound.  Jeongguk coos softly at you, pure elation etched in his face as he watches you.
“As a human,” you begin, voice shaky with emotion but ringing true with clarity, “I recognize that there is not much I can do to provide for you.  But I promise to be the best mate I can be, to support you in your endeavors and to lift your spirits when you are down.  I promise to love you with my entire heart, until fate decides to bless us with children, and I promise to love and protect them as any mother would do.  As my word is my bond, do you accept?”
“I accept,” Jeongguk whispers, arms straining against the rope in an effort to not just pull you to him and ravage you in front of everyone.
“We as a pack wish you all the happiness in the world,” Omega Kim finishes, reaching forward to undo the knot, letting the twine fall away from your arms as Jeongguk finally pulls you into him.
He’s crying into your hair, holding you close to him as the pack surges forward to give you their congratulations before they set off to get the party started.
“Why are you crying?” you blubber into his shoulder, holding onto him, “Stop it, you’re making it worse!”
He hiccup laughs into your ear, running his hands down your back as he finally pulls away.  Your heart swells as you wipe the tear tracks off his cheeks, leaning up to kiss him softly.  He nuzzles his nose against yours as you pull away, tucking you into his side as you follow the crowd to the party.
“I do really like this dress.  Looks like your Lottery dress,” Jeongguk says, clearing his throat of any remaining tears, tugging playfully at the hem.
“It is!” you say, stepping away as he keeps a grasp on your hand, Jeongguk letting out a laugh as you use it to your advantage to do a little spin, “Well, parts of it.  Figured I’d never wear it again but could still get some use out of it.”
“You look pretty,” he says simply, “and not to be a pervert so early in the afternoon, but you’ll look even better out of it.”
“Shut up,” you blush and he grins.
You and Jeongguk aren’t allowed to drink any wine, to keep yourselves clear headed for your impending copulation.  You two don’t need to drink to have any fun, though, as the two of you twirl around with your pack members, dancing and laughing and eating to your heart’s content.
You’re flushed and sweaty as the sun starts to set, the pack lighting up a bonfire as the party starts to wind down.  You’ve been stopped by individuals of the pack who want to personally congratulate you and wish you well.
“I’ve watched Jeongguk grow up and he’s always been such a sweet boy,” an older beta woman tells you, spindly fingers clutched around yours, “He’ll take such good care of you.  And I can tell you’ll take equally as good care of him.”
Jeongguk is on the other side of the clearing, nodding along as he intently listens to an older alpha tell him a story.  He seems to feel your gaze on him because he pauses in his conversation to glance up at you.  He gives you a small smile, tilting his head in question, but you just smile back as you shake yours.
“You know the old wives tale about the copulation ceremony, don’t you?” the beta asks.
“Oh, no, I don’t believe I have.  What is it?”
“They say that if your fern flowers glow during your copulation, the Moon Goddess is revealing that you’ve found your true mate.”
You’ve actually never heard that wives tale before and the surprise on your face makes the beta laugh.
“Don’t overthink it; it’s just a fairytale we tell the pups.  My advice to you during your copulation is just to relax, you’ll only make things worse for yourself if you’re tense.”
You nod, having already heard this from other mated pairs.  But if you’re being honest with yourself, your not worried about having sex with Jeongguk.  Sure, there’s a little pit in your stomach, but it’s completely overshadowed by the excitement thrumming through your veins at crossing this last intimate barrier with him.
The crowd gets quieter as the moon rises and the party dies down.  There are lots of tired pups being gathered up by their parents as Minseo lovingly embraces you, and then Jeongguk.
“You birthed me, shouldn’t I be hugged first?” Jeongguk exclaims, pulling his mother tightly into his arms as you snort quietly beside him.
“I like Y/N better,” she says simply, but she holds him just as close to her, “I’m happy for you both.”
Jeongguk lets out a shaky exhale, letting her go before he takes your hand, “Thank you.  We’re going to make our rounds before we head to the clearing.”
She nods and gives you a radiant smile, waving you both off.  The rounds involve wishing everyone thanks and bidding them goodnight, older shifters try to give you last minute advice and others your age merely patting you on the back and giving you sly smirks.  Yoongi is probably the worst and you try to ignore the lascivious grin he gets you; he’s already experienced the carnal desires between you and Jeongguk, this isn’t anything new for him.
“Alpha Kim, Omega Kim,” Jeongguk greets and you bow to them and they smile at the both of you, packing up the remaining food to be delivered to your cabin, “thank you for this celebration.  We’re going to go pay our respects to the Moon Goddess now.”
Which is code for: we’re going to fuck like animals.  You try to keep your face neutral, but like with Yoongi, you try not to look Alpha Kim directly in the eyes.
“We wish you all the happiness,” Omega Kim reinterates and you do return this sweet little lady’s genuine kindness, “Oh and Jeongguk?”
“Yes ma’am?”
“Go easy on her,” she teases and you immediately cover your face as you hide behind Jeongguk.  Why are shifters so shameless?
Jeongguk seems just as embarrassed, holding onto you as he whines, “Alpha Kim please control your mate.”
Alpha Kim raises his hands and shakes his head, “Keep me out of this, son.”
The two of them laugh as you wallow in your embarrassment, before Jeongguk forces you beside him to bow one last time and walk away.
“He told her,” you state, glancing up at Jeongguk to see his ears are red, eyes focused on the treeline in front of you.
“He totally told her,” he soullessly intones and you can’t help but crack a smile.
Jeongguk tries not to laugh with you, but he can’t fight the way his lips curl as you giggle into his side.  The walk to the clearing doesn’t take very long and your heart rate picks up when you enter it.
“Jeongguk,” you whisper, eyeing the candles spread around, most of them adorning the base of the Moon Goddess statue.
When you turn to look at him he’s smiling softly at you, leading you further in.
“This could have been a fire hazard,” you scold, for lack of anything better to say.
“Shut up,” Jeongguk rolls his eyes, pulling you to the blanket he has laid out in the center of the candles.
You quiet down as you kneel on the blanket, running your hands over the fur.  It feels new, almost untouched, and you spread out on it on your stomach, sighing as some of the tension eases out of your body.  The clearing is quiet and you close your eyes, almost feeling like you could fall asleep.  The thrumming under your skin for what’s to follow can’t be ignored, though.
You don’t jump when a hand grasps your ankle, thumb rubbing against the skin there as another hand travels up the back of your leg, gripping at your thigh.  A kiss is pressed to the crease of your knee and you laugh at the ticklish feeling of it, before the hand on your thigh grips your hip and nudges you to roll over.
You do so, gasp getting caught in your throat when you see Jeongguk kneeling over you, eyes dark and half-lidded as he gazes down at you, his stare intense.  His hand on your hip moves up until it’s clutching at the dip of your waist, his fingers firm and intent, and your eyelashes flutter at the contact.  The want to close your legs is intense, but Jeongguk is slotted between them.  Jeongguk inhales sharply when he feels them tighten around his thighs instead, which is of very little reprieve for you, and if anything it makes the feeling worse.
“Let’s say our prayers to Her,” he tells you, voice already starting to deepen.
You don’t trust yourself to speak so you just nod, letting Jeongguk help pull you up and over to the statue.  You smile up at Her as you kneel at Her feet, clasping your hands in your lap.
Jeongguk bows his head as he says his prayers to Her, but you keep your head raised.  It almost seems as if She is looking back at you, her gaze stony and resolute but still so benevolent.
“I don’t have anything else to ask of You, You’ve already given me Jeongguk.”
The euphoric feeling that spreads through you suddenly is almost too much to comprehend and you sink into it, letting the feeling travel through your body until you can feel it even in your toes.
“Y/N.”
Jeongguk’s voice sends a shiver down your spine and you spin on your knees to see that Jeongguk has already moved to the blanket, leaning back on his hands with his legs extended in front of him.
You can already feel yourself start to get wet as you crawl towards him, Jeongguk sitting up to meet you in a messy kiss.  Your hands fly to his hair, angling his head up to give your neck a little slack, his own landing on your ass.  The feeling in your body gets hotter and more intense the longer you touch Jeongguk, one hand slipping from his hand to trail down his neck and rest on his pec, right over his heart.  The resounding and steady rhythm beneath your palm is comforting, despite the hungry way Jeongguk is trying to devour you.
“Want you.  Need you,” he groans, his hands on your ass drawing you closer, settling you more firmly in his lap so you can feel him compressed hot and hard in his trousers.
“Get naked,” you breathe out, pulling back to rid yourself of your dress.
Jeongguk’s eyes open, mouth forming a half smirk as he no doubt opens his mouth to say something stupid, before his mouth drops open when you unceremoniously pull your dress over your head.  His mouth shuts with an audible click and he acts like every time he sees you naked it’s the first time.  You knock the fern crown off in your haste and Jeongguk replaces it with shaky fingers, hands smoothing down your flyaway hairs.
“I’ll never get over how pretty you are,” he whispers, hands reverently running over your skin, from your shoulders to your fingers and back, down and around your sides to your ass and thighs, “Feel so good in my hands.  Can’t believe I’m the one who gets to touch you like this.”
You whine as you wriggle in his lap, his fingers light and ticklish, “Love your hands, Gukkie, they’re so big.  Touch me more.”
He hums as he leans forward to attach his lips to the top of your tit, sucking at the skin as his hands tweak your nipples.  You don’t really get much out of having your breasts fondled, but Jeongguk seems to like playing with them and the caress of his hands does feel nice, even if it’s not the most arousing.  You still let yourself get lost in the feeling as you run your hands through his hair, letting Jeongguk leave as many love bites as he wants as he works your nipples to hard peaks.
“Taste good,” he mumbles, his breath causing goosebumps to erupt when it hits your wet skin.
“I have something that tastes even better,” you promise, trailing your own hand down your stomach to lightly trace your lips, feeling how wet you already are yourself.
“You think?” he grins, teeth encasing your nipple for a second, “Think I should find out for myself?”
“I think I’d let you do whatever you wanted to me,” you tell him honestly, squeaking as he shifts under you to take you in his arms, slowly lowering you until your back meets the blanket.
His eyes are black and molten as he pulls back from you, lips furiously red from where they’d worked your skin over, “Don’t tempt me, lamb, or I might take you up on that offer.”
You spread your legs wide in response, fingers drumming against your skin from his lack of touch, pussy aching in need.  Jeongguk lets out a slow breath as he finally sheds himself of his clothes, your mating necklace getting caught in his shirt before he pulls it free and lets it fall back against his skin, complimenting his completed tattoo.
“So good for me,” he praises, kissing his way down your body.
Jeongguk appears to have no patience, immediately diving into your pussy like he’ll die without another minute of it on his tongue.
“Fuck!” you cry out, thighs clamping around his head at the sudden feeling, and his strong hands pry them apart and hold them to the blanket, keeping you open for him.
Your eyes roll back as he delves his tongue into you, eagerly licking and sucking any part of your pussy his mouth can reach.  He’s neglecting your clit with his tongue, but his nose brushes against it continuously and its enough to have you fucking your hips up into his face to get more pressure on it.
“Be a good girl and stay still,” he growls, one hand letting go of your thigh to throw his arm across your hips and hold you down, “Gonna get you nice and wet for my cock but… it looks like you did a good enough job of that for me.”
You groan and nod your head, “Want you so bad, Guk, been thinking about your cock all day.”
You can feel him grin into your pussy, which shouldn’t be as hot as it is, before he says, “Don’t worry, I’ll give it to you.”
He’s been fucking you with his fingers all week, so when presses one slowly into you to test the stretch, you’re quick to ask for another.  And then immediately another.
“So greedy,” he tuts, but doesn’t argue as he presses three fingers into you, watching with rapt attention as your back arches at the sensation.
It’s addictive, the way Jeongguk moves and crooks his fingers inside of you, tongue finally lapping against your clit in order to relax you more.  With his arm still holding your hips down, you take to clutching at his hair to move his tongue in a way you like and he lets you guide him, humming against your skin as you clench around his fingers.
When he finally pulls away you whine your dissatisfaction, eyelashes fluttering open as Jeongguk crawls up your body, his chin wet and glistening in the candle light.  You huff as you wipe it off, arm linking around his neck after.
“I was gonna cum,” you pout, accepting his light kiss.
“Oops,” he shrugs, smirking, and you smack his shoulder, pulling him back into you.
You could kiss Jeongguk for hours, tongues stroking together as your hands explored.  You especially like touching his back, the muscles taunt and defined under your hands as he presses his body against yours.  You both moan as his cock nudges into the wet mess that is your pussy, Jeongguk pulling away with a wet smack and a nip at your lower lip.
“I want to have sex like this,” he tells you, laying his palm against your cheek, “I want to watch your face.”
It’s almost embarrassing to think about, but you can’t help but echo his sentiment and the two of you shuffle for a few seconds, Jeongguk planting his knees more steadily into the ground as your thighs bracket his hips.  That nervous flutter starts up in your stomach as Jeongguk presses the head of his cock against your slit, rubbing it slowly against you as he himself seems to gather his nerves.
Jeongguk holds onto cock as he leans back down over you, pressing his mouth reassuringly against yours as he slowly pushes in, your mouth dropping open as he fills you.
You’ve taken cock before, but it had always been quick trysts with men who didn’t care about you, usually with you half clothed and pushed up against a wall, your own fingers rubbing your clit to give you something as they chased their own orgasms.  There had been some girls you had fucked, pussies wet as you rubbed them together, and there had even been a sweet, traveling woman who had buried her face in your cunt for a few hours and worked your pussy raw.  She had pulled the best orgasms out of you until you cried, but then she had disappeared like a ghost and left you aching for days.  Most people didn’t acknowledge you after, unless they wanted to get their rocks off again, and you had gone with it because you had your own needs to fill too.
Jeongguk is not most people and you can feel the tears gathering in your eyes as he pushes his cock in until his pelvis meets yours.  He’s dropped his head to place his forehead against your collarbone, breath ragged as he finally comes to a halt, body quivering as you clutch onto his shoulders.
“Okay?” he asks, voice deep but quiet, “Hurt?”
“I need a sec,” you whimper, trying to relax around the intrusion and he grants you it, keeping you close as he peppers kisses across your skin.
The throbbing in your pussy changes from uncomfortable to needy as he cock pulses in you and you finally rub your nose against his neck and whisper for him to start moving.
Jeongguk takes a shuddering breath as he slowly pulls his cock out and inches it back in, fingers creating indents on your hip as you clench around him, trying to adjust to the feeling.  His thrusts help, loosening your body up as the pain ache transforms into spikes of pleasure.
“Feels good,” you whine, loosening your hold on his shoulders and letting him pull out of your neck, “Gukkie, feels good.”
You smile up at him as his eyes open, before they widen considerably.  His minuscule thrusts stop and you fear the worst, raising a hand to his face.
“What?  What is it?” you worry, trying to turn your head to see if maybe something’s happening and you see-
You see your hair spread around you with the strands glowing against the blanket.  You gasp, raising a hand to pinch some of the powder off your hair to see it coat your fingers, glowing a translucent blue against your skin.
“Y/N,” Jeongguk whispers shakily, reaching a hand up to touch the crown that had fallen onto the blanket when he laid you down, “the flowers… they’re glowing.”
Jeongguk’s right, your hair is glowing and the rest of your body is starting to glow too, where fern powder has fallen onto your skin all day.
“You’re-you’re glowing and that means your- that means we-” Jeongguk’s lower lip is starting to wobble and he can’t finish his sentence, dipping his head to let it rest in your neck again, “Y/N.”
You cry with him, clutching tightly onto Jeongguk as the message the Moon Goddess sent you sets in; Jeongguk and you are true mates.  It doesn’t sound real, as you sob into Jeongguk’s shoulder, and you don’t feel any different than you did ten minutes ago.  But fern flowers don’t randomly glow, especially not after they’ve been plucked, and not coincidentally on your mating day after giving the Moon Goddess your thanks.
Jeongguk kisses you, a messy thing of tears and spit as he undulates his hips, framing your face as he sets the pace.  You can make out faint murmurings of it’s you as Jeongguk tongues you, pelvis pressed against yours as he grinds against you.  The pressure is almost too much, the hard plains of his lower stomach pressing tantalizingly against your clit as you open around his cock.
His pace turns more frantic, pulling his hips back farther and farther, spearing you on his cock more and more as his hands roam your torso.
“Pretty girl, my pretty girl,” he groans, licking a thick stripe up your neck as your legs tighten around him, overcome with the feeling, “So wet, feel so good around my cock.”
You nod in quick agreement, hands slipping down his back as he starts to sweat, “Guk, touch me, please.”
You cry out as his fingers toy with your clit, tears gathering in your eyes, carding your fingers through his hair.  Your orgasm is fast approaching and Jeongguk seems hellbent on sending you over the edge fast.
“Yes, yes, Gukkie, so close,” you pant, having trouble keeping your eyes open.
“Gonna look so good around my knot,” he grunts, the pressure of his fingers turning deadly and you cry at the feeling, “Gonna knot you so good you’ll feel it for days.  This is the only knot you’ll ever need, the only knot you’ll ever want, got that?” his voice turns into a growl and you openly sob.
“Only ever want you, Guk- gonna- gonna-!”
You throw your head back as all sounds get caught in you throat, back taunt as you arch it, Jeongguk fucking you through your orgasm as his fingers don’t slow.  It’s so good, consuming your entire body as it locks up until all you can feel is it and Jeongguk.
“Baby, look so good like this.  God, I’m so lucky.  Gonna bust- gonna knot-”
Jeongguk stops talking, leaning down to clamp his teeth around your neck.  You don’t even flinch at the feeling, your body thrumming from your orgasm.  There is a sort of warmth in your heart at knowing that once Jeongguk leaves his bite claim it’s official by shifter standards, that you and Jeongguk are mated for life.
You gasp as you feel the initial swelling, Jeongguk biting harder in tandem as his knot grows.  You’ve never slept with a shifter before and the swelling, despite being aware of it, is not something you’re quite prepared to take.  You whine as it continues to swell, Jeongguk growling around his mouthful of your skin as his thrusts slow down as it locks you two in place.
You squeeze your eyes shut as Jeongguk begins to cum and bites through your skin, pain erupting along with it.
“Oh fuck, fuck,” Jeongguk grunts, licking at your neck before he throws his head back and howls, body twitching in your hold.
There’s… a lot.  It feels like Jeongguk cums for a minute straight, panting heavily into the air before he lets his full body weight fall on top of you.  You wheeze but don’t fight it, pressing your nose into his temple as you breathe together.  Jeongguk licks periodically at your bite wound as your breathing evens out and your heartbeats return to normal.
“I can’t believe it,” Jeongguk finally whispers, “How would I get so lucky?  To meet my true mate through a voluntary offering.”
His words bring tears to your eyes again.  It does seem too good to be true, to have been ostracized from your community only to have that ostracism lead to your volunteering at Jeongguk’s Lottery.
Jeongguk raises his head to meet your eyes and he’s wearing a dopey smile, brushing his fingers over the crown of flowers.
“You’re still glowing,” he whispers, eyes bright and shiny in the candlelight.
“Cut it out, I’m gonna cry,” you hiccup, trying to pull Jeongguk down to kiss you, but he resists, testing the pull of his hips.
His knot has gone down enough that he’s able to pull out, but he quickly plunges his fingers into you.  You go to protest, but the words die in your throat as he gazes very seriously up at you.
“Y/N,” he sounds just as serious, “I just- I love you.”
You reach out and punch his shoulder and he rears back, more out of shock than actual pain, “Ow!  What the hell!”
“You can’t say that to me when you’ve got your fingers in me like that!” you protest, though his words have sent your heart spiraling.
“I didn’t want to let the cum out yet,” he says, pouting like the ridiculous idiot he is.
You open your mouth to say something, but he leans in and softly kisses you, finally removing his fingers so he can hold you by your waist.
“I just wanted you to know,” he says, shameless and honest, “I don’t expect you to say it if you don’t feel it.”
You feel a lot for Jeongguk, but you’re not sure if that feeling is love or not, so you keep it to yourself for now.  Jeongguk doesn’t seem offended, if the sweet kisses he continues to give you mean anything.  He places a hand on your cheek to tilt your head and you hiss as it pulls the stiff skin of your neck.
Jeongguk grins as he pulls from kissing your mouth to kissing your neck, the attention alleviating some of the pain.
“We have the clearing all to ourselves,” Jeongguk murmurs against your skin and you hum in acknowledgement, letting him slowly guide you back down on the blanket, “Let’s lay here for a bit, yeah?  I wanna take my time with you.”
“Guk…” you start off and he looks up at you, raising a quizzacle eyebrow, “... thank you.”
He doesn’t ask for what.  You both already know, can both feel it when he raises up to kiss you again, with the intention of taking advantage of all the time you guys have left.  Which is forever.
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patchun · 3 years
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WBaWC Deep Dive: Part 1/2
Lots of philosophical ideas are presented and explored in this game. In this post I aim to point them out. ZUN stated this in his SCooW interview:
"There isn't any sort of obvious theme to the story this time. It's mainly just an introduction of "there's a world like this out there". There's a variety of things going into that world, particularly satire, but if you ask what the work wants to show you, there isn't much in particular. "Here's this world called the Animal Realm, and here's these various elements spread throughout it."
And after doing a ton of digging... yeah, I think he's right. I was kind of hoping there would be something unintentional, but because the perspectives of the human and beast spirits aren't really shown, and only the spirits of their rulers, taking an actual message away from this game is very difficult. That said, I feel with this game more than any other, it's very easy to identify why certain decisions were made. Why is the first boss a stillborn child? Isn't that pretty random? No, let's look into it.
The story this time is quite complicated, so you may not be able to see the whole picture if you just play as one character. To be fair, you may not be able to do so even if you clear them all. (lol)
This will obviously be based on my own interpretation. Long post ahead.
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Eika Ebisu. The soul of a stillborn child, and a master of stacking stones. Importantly:
She and the rest of the stillborn child spirits at Sai no Kawara stack stones as work every day. They stack stones as work, in Shinto mythology this is as repentance - because they brought sorrow to their parents by dying too early. Kind of morbidly amusing, I guess, but ZUN makes it a point to say this:
She's also a god of fortune who's able to change simple, pointless work into something that's enjoyable and worth doing, and who can make the best out of any bad situation.
Her ever-cheery demeanor, bright intellect, and penchant for constantly holding exciting new events like stone-stacking contests makes her the Sai no Kawara's resident idol, beloved by all the children's spirits there.
With the spirits of stillborns, yes. I feel like it's more hopeful to portray them as having fun in the afterlife, you know?
Being a god of fortune, Eika is able to make stone stacking FUN. The simple labor of stacking stones for these kids is no longer labor for repentance, but a game, thanks to her (NOTE: labor.) For that reason she is the resident "idol". She is probably the most healthy idol in the game, according to the ideology ZUN seems to be presenting, but we'll get into that later. There's more to this character.
In philosophical discussions of animal rights, when we ask "what is it that makes humans worthy of moral rights", we try to find a criteria. Something that humans have that nothing else does. That criteria then needs to be defended as being a good reason for humans to have moral rights. Used to, sentience was the argument made for human uniqueness. Humans are sentient and conscious, while animals are, in Descartes' scummy terms (sorry, I hate Descartes) "mere automata". We worked on this assumption from that idiot for years, but recently it has been scientifically proven that animals, at LEAST mammals, birds, crustaceans, cephalopods, and reptiles, are sentient, and it is summarized in a document called the Cambridge Declaration of Consciousness.
So this proves a problem for those who believe animals aren't worthy of moral rights. So then, what else do humans have that animals don't? Why are we special in deserving moral rights? Well, that would be our intelligence, right! Even the smartest animals are only about as smart as a five year old (this is not actually true but let's just pretend it is, they're smarter). But then, if intelligence is the criteria for moral rights, then what exactly is the system here? Does that mean that children are less worthy of moral rights than adults because they aren't as intelligent? Does this mean that people who mentally disabled and not viewed as "intelligent" by parts of the populace should be less deserving of moral treatment?
This has been a veryyy simplified summary of the discussion, but here's where it gets even more interesting. You see, here, two controversial ethical topics meet - abortion and animal rights. Because if you want to argue that sentience OR intelligence are the criteria for moral rights, then in either case, early fetuses absolutely do not have moral rights! This is a problem for anti-abortion arguers, which is a funny intersection in my opinion. I bring this up because, of course, while Eika is not an aborted fetus as far as I know, she is still a fetus. She is quite out of place in a game where the rest of the opponents up to Keiki are animal spirits, right? But no, the fetus and children in general actually have a very philosophically interesting place in animal rights discussions, because oftentimes to argue that animals are not deserving of moral rights you also have to take away the moral rights of children. In case this whole thing has left you confused, the side I took was that sentience IS the criteria for moral rights, meaning both animals and children have moral rights, while fetuses don't.
Now, what does Eika tell us about this? Well, nothing. Just that ZUN seems to have thought about it, really. But there are two keywords that apply broadly to WBaWC as a whole when talking about Eika:
Labor
Moral value
So let's continue.
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Urumi Ushizaki. Seeing a farm animal after a stillborn child really set off some alarms. Her name translates to "moist beauty". Not sure I needed to know that, but I came across it in my research so now you do too.
She carries a stone carving of a baby. Once she gives the baby to someone to hold, she makes it heavier and submerges them in the river. She was an awe-inspiring youkai who took advantage of humans' kindness. However, since she's forbidden to attack humans in Gensokyo, she currently runs a fishery at the Sanzu River.
If one tries to cross the river without a shinigami's permission, they'll be attacked by creatures like extinct giant fish and plesiosaurs. Nowadays, she spends her time domesticating those giant fish, and makes a living wage by sometimes selling them in Gensokyo.
A baby then a cow with a baby. Urumi is the "Parental Guardian of Ancient Fish". She apparently domesticates them and makes a living wage (interesting terminology?) sometimes selling them to Gensokyo. But, it's implied that as a fisher, she actually cares about these fish. In Reimu (Wolf)'s story:
Reimu: I'm fine, thanks. If it's just fish I'll have to deal with, I'll filet 'em no problem.
Urumi: That so? Fine by me, then. I won't hold back when I turn you into food for my beloved ancient fish!
When Reimu threatens her fish, Urumi gets defensive. She refers to her fish as "beloved" and suggests valuing them over the protagonist, even though she isn't supposed to attack humans. In the SCooW interview, ZUN is asked, more or less, what's up with the fish in the Sanzu river? He responds:
It's full of fish that died, or went extinct. They can't go to Hell or the Netherworld after they die, you see... since fish and insects are in a bit of a separate category, the way I think about it.
So, remember that distinction we made earlier when talking about Ebisu? How the animals that have been proven to be sentient are mammals, birds, reptiles (cephalopods, crustaceans)? That excludes fish and insects, and here, ZUN makes that distinction as well. Fish sentience is still pretty up in the air at the moment. But that said, if there's any unintentional message in WBaWC, I suppose it would be here.
The fact that Urumi is able to domesticate these ancient fish in the first place implies a certain degree of sentience, and moreso, even without that, Urumi pretty clearly ascribes moral value to her fish in Reimu (Wolf)! In almost all routes, she defends her fish and suggests she'll feed the protagonist to them, but Reimu(Wolf) makes it the most clear that she actually cares about them. Which, when you think about it, of course you'll care about the things you domesticate.
Also Urumi's design is so cool and yet no one draws her anymore. Justice for Moist Beauty. There is more to be said about the livestock theme of this character, but we'll get back to that when we talk about Yachie's profile.
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Kuwaka Niwatari.
Her true identity is that of Niwatarijin, the god of wild chickens from before they were domesticated. People tend to think of chickens as being sort of weak and cowardly, but she's a polite and just god who values equality and altruism above all. She's quietly considering what she can do to help raise the status of chickens, who've been reduced to a food source for humans.
If you've been following along so far, you probably understand already where this is going. A few words may stand out here. Domestication, equality and altruism above all, status, and "food source for humans."
Kutaka is probably the blatantly nicest character in WBaWC, who tests you because she's worried that if you go further, you'll be hurt (after winning, of course, the protagonists insult her). There's not just a ton to say about Kutaka's character itself, but there is this tidbit in ZUN's interview:
Chickens don't usually have a very positive image attached to them. Calling someone a "chicken" certainly doesn't make them sound strong either, right? And the only other common impression of them is as food, so I tried to give her a dignified feeling.
So, ZUN has deliberately designed Kutaka to be dignified, noted that she is a character who values equality and altruism, and included that one of her motivations is to raise the status of chickens who have been "reduced to a food source for humans." What's fascinating is that by creating Kutaka this way, he has given us a message - ZUN believes, to a degree, that Kutaka's motivation is a just one. Kutaka is intended TO raise the status of chickens. So let me say this. To those of you who made fucking chicken wing jokes after this character was revealed:
STOP. FUCK YOU. STOP.
If you'd like to repent, you can start by stacking stones. Trust me, it's fun!
Now, all of this is cool, but part 2 is where it's going to get interesting - when we finally get to Yachie's profile, the description of the "Animal Realm" of Hell. I'm excited, but I need to make dinner. Part 2 coming soon.
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beewolfwrites · 3 years
Text
And When I am Formulated, Sprawling on a Pin - Chapter Eighteen: Do Not Go Gentle
Hello again! Welcome to Chapter 18 of this Chishiya x OC/Reader fic. So many of you loved the ending of the last chapter, I hope you like this one too. 
There are certainly some... revelations coming to light. 
You can find the full fanfic and this chapter here on AO3 too. Enjoy <3
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The rooftop was usually quiet at this time, but not today. The ruckus below could be heard for miles, cheers and laughter stretching across Tokyo like sunlight. But even the sunlight left shadows in crevices and alleys.
Legs dangling off the roof, I watched on as Hatter, flanked by Aguni and several militants, got into a car. He waved and blew kisses at the swathes of Beach residents. It was one big show, nothing but superficiality as the Beach’s king headed off into battle. The sun bounced off his ring as he kissed a woman’s hand, the blinding light only serving to darken his sunglasses.
‘Not joining the party?’
I didn’t bother turning at the familiar voice. There was a rustle of fabric as he sat down beside me, leaving enough space between us that it wasn’t uncomfortable.
‘I’m not a party person.’
As the car pulled away from the hotel, my eyes drifted to Niragi who was standing by the hotel door. He looked visibly irritated, most likely because of the fire that had spontaneously started in his room the night before. Apparently, he’d gone on a rampage, throwing accusations and pinpointing certain names. In an attempt to calm him down, An had used her forensic background to sweep the room, only to find no fingerprints, hairs, or traces. Niragi had been seething ever since.
‘I’m guessing you heard about what happened,’ I tried to hide a smile. ‘Somebody tampered with the plugs of his bedside lamps while he was in the game last night. Whoever it was cut through both the earth wires and messed with the live wires.’
Like many of the other lamps in the hotel, they had metal casings. And because the bedside tables were made of wood, it didn’t take much for the metal to overheat.
Chishiya let out a content sigh. ‘There were no fingerprints. It could have been faulty wiring.’
‘That’s true,’ I said, thinking back to the box of disposable latex gloves in Chishiya’s room. ‘Though it’s one hell of a coincidence that it happened to both the bedside lamps.’
‘But not impossible.’
‘No,’ I said softly. ‘It’s not impossible.’
He reached into his pocket and held out the taser. ‘It wasn’t too bad. Just a case of rewiring it.’  
Holding it in my lap, I felt instantly safer. ‘Thank you.’
We fell into companionable silence, me watching as Hatter drove off into the desolate Tokyo streets, and Chishiya mulling over whatever crazy calculations were running through his mind. Eventually, when the car disappeared into the dust, the Beach residents retreated back to the patio, continuing as usual as they waited for the return of their king.
‘Hatter’s going to die in this game, isn’t he?’  
‘Of course,’ Chishiya said. ‘That’s why I’ve invited Arisu up here with us.’
‘You’re going to include them in the plan?’
A faint smile ghosted his features. ‘Did you think you were special because I included you?’
‘Of course not. That’s ridiculous.’ It was ridiculous, and yet something unpleasant twinged in my chest at the thought that it wasn’t just me, him and Kuina. It begged the question, if he wanted help from Arisu and Usagi, why did he bother with me? ‘Chishiya, I know I’ve asked you this before, but why did you bring me here?’
‘If you’ve asked me before then you’ll already know the answer.’
The answer was that I was useful to the Beach, but something told me it wasn’t the true answer. There was something I was missing here, if only I could figure out what it was.
‘No,’ I said. ‘Why did you really bring me here?’
He didn’t reply, but I could see him considering the question, thinking of all the different avenues he could take to answer it. Lucky for him, he never had to, as the rooftop door swung open and Kuina stepped out, followed by Arisu. He looked pained, as though he’d seen a ghost, but when he saw me, his expression filled with recognition.
‘I remember you from the Tag game,’ he said.
I gave him a smile. ‘も覚えています.’ I remember you too.
He relaxed slightly at seeing a familiar face, but when he turned back to Chishiya, there was still some mistrust there. ‘You and Kuina wanted me to come up here. What’s going on?’
Chishiya and I got to our feet, and I was reminded a little of the time when I had been invited up here too. Only now, my bruises had healed, and Chishiya and I were on good terms again.
‘I’d like to ask you one thing,’ Chishiya said, his tone calm and calculating as always. ‘How do you plan to live in a world that’s so full of despair?’
Arisu seemed visibly surprised by the question. But I wasn’t. I knew Chishiya enough to see that this was a test. What the answer was didn’t really matter. It was all just a way for him to gauge Arisu’s personality and analyse which parts of his nature could come in use. Seeing this test being used on someone else, I wondered how often Chishiya had deployed the same tactics on me.
‘I’ve come this far,’ Arisu said, ‘and I just want to know who’s behind all of this, who I should get revenge on. And if there’s only one person who can leave, I want to make sure it’s Usagi.’
Usagi must be the name of the climber girl.
Chishiya smiled. ‘It’s a good answer.’
‘でも、悪い溶液だ,’ I said. But it’s not a good solution.
Kuina strolled along the edge of the rooftop. ‘In order to leave, you and Usagi would have to win game after game and become number one. It’s impossible.’
Arisu’s face fell, although he must’ve known this deep down already. It was impossible to win every game, and despite how much we talked about surviving, Kuina, Chishiya and I would probably die before then. The odds were against us.
‘It has nothing to do with you guys anyway,’ Arisu said, defensively.
‘We think you have potential,’ Chishiya replied, looking out in the direction where Hatter’s car had disappeared. ‘That’s why we came to find you earlier.’
‘Potential….’ Arisu’s confusion was illustrated all over his face.  
‘What if I said there’s a way to change the status quo all at once?’ Chishiya casually suggested, and Arisu’s eyes widened.
I drifted in and out of understanding as Chishiya explained how the tensions between the militant sect and the idealist sect were growing stronger, and that Hatter would probably not return home from his game today. Arisu’s nervous reaction was too open, too trusting.
He wears his heart on his sleeve. That’s why Chishiya picked him.
‘What are you planning?’ He glanced between the three of us.
Chishiya’s smile was terrifying. ‘I plan to steal all the playing cards,’ he said. ‘We’re leaving the Beach.’
And just like that, Arisu was hooked. Trapped in the net of manipulation so carefully laid out for him.
Chishiya was a trickster. Now that I could his tricks laid bare in the sunlight, it was more obvious than ever before. In my head, I ran through all the conversations I’d had with him, but there was nothing that stood out as obvious lies or half-truths.
And he’s always helped me. He screwed with Niragi’s lamps and started that fire. He didn’t have to do that… it can’t have been for nothing.
As if sensing the conflict within me, Chishiya’s eyes locked onto mine from across the roof. They were guarded and distant, with just a hint of something warmer, and a little voice in my head told me it wasn’t real, it couldn’t have been real. Yet it didn’t stop my heart from shuddering, or my face from glowing under the sunlight.
And all at once, I realised I was just as stuck as Arisu.
---------------------------------------------------
Later that day, Hatter failed to return from his game.
It was information kept within the executives out of fear that the Beach’s residents would panic. Naturally, Chishiya had told Kuina, Arisu, Usagi and I, not that it was a surprise to any of us. Apparently, gunshots had been heard in the area, but the only witnesses around were militants, and each and every one of them swore that Hatter died in his game.
There was no time to waste, and the situation had formed a perfect opportunity. Chishiya had invited us to his room to go over the the plan, but now that it was actually happening, it felt a lot more nerve-wracking.
Arisu and Usagi were sitting in their chairs, sharing uneasy glances as they wondered whether to go ahead with this. From my seat on the couch, I listened carefully while Chishiya brushed through the details in Japanese. He was speaking slower than usual, probably so I could understand as much as possible, but there were still some things I would have to ask about later.
He began passing around walkie-talkies, sliding them across the coffee table towards Arisu and Usagi. As he placed the device in my palm, his fingers brushed mine.
‘The playing cards,’ he said. ‘they’re kept in a safe hidden somewhere in the royal suite. Nobody knows the passcode except the current number-one. But because there’s always chance that the number-one could die in a game, the code is also kept in a black envelope. The black envelope is only opened when there’s a new number-one.’ He sighed. ‘There’ll be a meeting tomorrow, and Aguni will open it in front of all the executives.’
The system itself made sense, but how could Chishiya find out the passcode without being able to see inside an opaque black envelope?
He’s cunning, but cunning doesn’t give you x-ray vision.
‘It’s only read by number-one, right?’ I asked, wondering if I’d missed something along the way in my attempt at translating.
‘That’s right. But as for the safe itself, Arisu will be the one to infiltrate the royal suite.’
Arisu frowned. ‘But what about the passcode?’
‘I already have an idea about that,’ Chishiya said dismissively. ‘I’ll tell you when you’re in front of the safe.’
‘You really are cautious,’ Arisu replied with a grin. He nodded. ‘Got it!’
Chishiya looked at Kuina and Usagi. When he turned to me, I dropped my eyes to the coffee table, feeling embarrassed at how I was acting. It was as if I were a schoolgirl again. ‘You three will be on the lookout,’ he said.  
Usagi flinched, eyeing the walkie talkie in her palm. ‘It’s too dangerous,’ she whispered. ‘If we’re found out, we’ll be killed.’  
Her eyes were hazy with worry, and it was obvious she cared deeply about Arisu. They must’ve stuck together after the Tag game, becoming not just allies, but something more. It was clear as day from the way they looked at each other.
‘It’s fine, Usagi,’ Arisu tried to console her. ‘With Hatter dead, there’s no unity at the Beach. This is the only way.’
I wanted to believe him, I truly did. But as I bore witness to Chishiya’s growing influence on Arisu, the more doubts I had. Looking at him now, beyond his calm surface, there was something calculating there. An empty darkness. And I was right in the middle of it.
Just what are you really planning?
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The next day, Chishiya disappeared to attend the opening of the black envelope. It meant the rest of us had a few hours to kill before the executives and militants would hold a speech in the lobby to declare Aguni as the Beach’s new king.
I was sitting alone in my room, the walkie talkie on the desk beside me as I ran through the plan over and over. There was so much that could go wrong.  
So far, I had intentionally stayed hidden. With Hatter had gone, there was nothing stopping Niragi from killing me and having done with it, and if I wanted to make it out of this place, it was best to keep my head down and remain out of sight. Luckily, my visa still had four days left, so I didn’t have to worry about running into Niragi at a game or in the lobby again.
If everything goes well, I’ll be seeing the last of him.
There was a knock at the door and Kuina called out from the other side.
‘Door’s open!’
Kuina entered, looking cheery and troubled all at once. ‘When is it not?’ she said, taking a seat on my bed as she played with her hair.
I folded my arms against the back of the chair as I took in her dismal energy. ‘You look drained. Something happen?’
She stared at the carpet. ‘Nope, but something will. I can sense it.’
She must be feeling it too.
‘Do you think the plan’s going to fail?’ I asked.
She laughed at first, then frowned. ‘I don’t know. It might, it might not. I just hate waiting like this. It feels a bit like waiting to die.’
The sun was beginning to set, and our time at the Beach was drawing to a close. Either we’d make it out and escape tonight, or we’d be deemed traitors and made an example of. It all depended on whether Chishiya could figure out the passcode, and whether Arisu could locate the safe in the first place. I bit my lip at the thought, tasting metal on my tongue.
I hate putting my life in someone else’s hands.
‘Kuina,’ I said, feeling a little awkward. ‘Do you trust Chishiya?’
She seemed to struggle with the question as she took her time to answer. ‘Not exactly. I trust him to a degree, and we’ve kind of become friends, you know. But if it really came down to it, he would put himself over me, if it means he’s able to survive. He might feel bad about it afterwards – or not, who knows? But that’s what he’d do.’ She looked at me, perplexed. ‘Why?’
My mind skipped through every time I had caught myself caring about him… the comfort I felt around him during the Hunting Season game… the fear of seeing him injured and the guilt of knowing he was in pain… the hurt every time he upset me… and the warmth of safety, knowing he was looking out for me in his own way. Even if he was downright cruel, he always gave me a reason to keep going.
‘I don’t either.’ I swallowed, trying to force myself to admit the truth. ‘But at the same time, I think I feel something… for him, I mean.’
Kuina took the quit-smoking aide out of her mouth. ‘I know.’
My head shot up.
What?
‘You know?’ I asked, surprised, confused and overwhelmed all at once. ‘How did you know before I did?’
She shrugged. ‘Because any idiot could see it, even Niragi. You’ve got some serious chemistry going on there.’ With a shake of her head, she said. ‘It’s a shame he’s such an asshole.’
I pushed my head in my hands, but it wasn’t enough to hide my embarrassment. I felt so exposed, like my mind and heart were put on display. If it was that obvious, it meant everyone would have been able to see it. Everyone.
‘Chishiya already knows, doesn’t he?’ It wasn’t even a question at this point.
She tilted her head from side to side, trying to make me feel better by pretending there might have been some room for error. ‘He probably does.’
‘There’s no ‘probably’,’ I groaned. ‘He definitely knows. Nothing gets past him.’
‘Can’t say I agree with your taste in men,’ she said, quietly, ‘but I guess it’s too late to interfere.’ Even though her tone was lighthearted, there was an edge there. ‘What are you going to do about it?’  
How do I even begin to answer that question?
I slumped down onto the back of the chair, tired and exasperated with the whole thing. It had always been my dream up until now, to fall in love, live freely and keep looking to the future. But not like this. It was the wrong place, the wrong time, and as much as I hated to admit it, the wrong kind of person.
‘Who knows?’ I groaned. ‘This isn’t exactly the best place to fall in love with someone. This was what I always wanted, but now that it’s happening, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.’
I looked to Kuina for advice, hoping she’d anchor me down and tell me it was going to be fine. Instead, she was at a loss, unsure of what to suggest.
But then the walkie talkie on the desk hummed to life, and it no longer mattered.
‘They’re about to make the speech.’ Chishiya’s static voice buzzed through. ‘It’s time.’
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agerefandom · 3 years
Text
Home Sweet Home
Fandom: Twilight
Characters: Esme and Carlisle Cullen as parents: Edward, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie as regressors
Words: 3,500
Summary: The Cullens always enjoy family night: a chance for all the children to regress, and for Carlisle and Esme to feel like parents. There’s nothing more relaxing. But tonight, Edward is refusing to come downstairs and join the family.
Content Warnings: Parental titles, diapers, mention of nursing. Brief mentions of blood and the angst of immortality.
Notes: The first two paragraphs are referencing this fic I wrote earlier this month! It’s not necessary to understand the rest of the fanfiction, though. Let me know if you notice any errors, this was a long one for me to edit myself so I only did two drafts. (Also I might put out my Cullens headcanons after this, I didn’t incorporate all of them into this fanfiction!) 
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Carlisle listens to the radio as he drives home, his mind drifting from thought to thought. It had been a busy day for the Forks clinic, but nothing compared to the ER in Seattle. His shifts there were full of the smell of blood and panic, constant calls and frightened family members.
But today, that one patient had been so frightened, and so young… it had made Carlisle’s unbeating heart feel bruised. He’s glad to be on his way home to his own children, safe with their mother. He hopes that patient is also safe at home, considering the offer he’d made to meet other regressors.
Carlisle’s home is a chaotic place, but full of joy, and he knows that few are so lucky.
He pulls up the driveway, waiting for the garage door to open before pulling into his spot and getting out. He had already changed out of his work clothes, now in plain slacks and his favourite grey sweater. Alice loves the texture of this one, and he knows it makes her happy to see him wearing it in the future, so he always makes sure to plan this outfit ahead of time.
He can hear his family’s voices inside, could pick them out if he focused enough. Alice is already waiting near the door, probably intending to tackle him once he gets inside. He can hear her quiet giggles as she waits. Carlisle won’t be surprised if Emmett is helping her with her ambush, but managing to stay quiet.
Carlisle braces himself and swings open the door.
“I’m home!” he calls out, just as Alice leaps at him. “Hi, honey!” he says, turning to catch her in his arms. Such a light little thing, his youngest daughter. “How are you?”
“Good, daddy!” Alice rests her cheek against his sweater, wrapping her legs around his waist. “You were gone so long!”
“Ah, boring work,” Carlisle sighs, already feeling the stress of the day melting away into the familiar smell of home and family. Human scents are so busy and overwhelming, emotions and history drifting from their skin. Here in their own space, Carlisle can pick out the clean smells of his family, each one slightly different but bearing the same mark: his venom, binding them together. “Much better to be home with my children.”
“Dad!!!” Sure enough, Emmett attacks from behind with a proper tackle, and only his verbal warning allows Carlisle to duck out of the way, chuckling. Emmett stumbles past and saves himself from crashing into the wall, just barely. He spins and runs at Carlisle again, this time jumping into his arms like Alice did.
He’s a larger boy, and Carlisle laughs as he catches him, thankful for the strength that allows him to lift his adult-sized children on each hip.
“Hello, Emmett. Trying to get daddy in a headlock again?”
“It was Alice’s idea,” Emmett says, resting his head on Carlisle’s shoulder.
“Hmm,” Carlisle murmurs, unconvinced. Alice and Emmett are the troublemakers of the household, occasionally pulling Rosalie into their schemes. It’s difficult to guess which of them planned the ambush.
Esme comes around the corner, carrying Jasper in her arms. Jasper is resting, eyes closed, his eyelashes brushing against his cheeks. Esme looks absolutely beautiful, but she always does when Carlisle is seeing her for the first time in hours.
“Darling,” Esme says warmly. “I see you’ve already found the children.”
“It was a surprise attack,” Carlisle explains, bouncing the two siblings once before releasing them to the floor and watching them scramble back to their playroom. “Very fierce warriors, our children.”
“Fearsome,” Esme smiles, and approaches to give Carlisle a kiss. He will never get tired of kissing his wife. Each one is a blessing, and an affirmation of her love.
Today Esme is dressed in a plum-coloured dress that brushes against the ground, designed to be unhooked so she can nurse the children that are young enough. There’s no nutritional point to the gesture, of course, but just like the diapers and pull-ups that their youngest wear, it’s an emotional comfort. A reminder of both childhood and humanity. For Esme, being a mother has always been her greatest fulfilment, and nursing her children the most loving gesture.
“Would you take the baby?” she says, smiling fondly down at Jasper. “He’s been fussy all day, and the playroom needs my attention.”
“My pleasure.” Carlisle carefully accepts Jasper into his arms, sneaking another kiss onto Esme’s cheek in the process. Jasper stirs at the movement, making a small sound of confusion. “Hush, sweetheart. Just daddy,” Carlisle murmurs, making sure the baby is in a comfortable position. “Nothing to worry about.”
Jasper blinks his eyes open and looks up at Carlisle, then burbles a little string of nothing words.
“Oh, really?” Carlisle replies. “Emmett didn’t tell me that.”
Encouraged by the response, Jasper continues to babble. Carlisle smiles and nods as he carries his son towards the living room. “An interesting theory!” He settles into the couch and listens to the sounds of the house. Esme is lecturing Alice and Emmett in the other room: apparently, one of them pulled down the hammock again. It’s a nearly daily occurrence, the hooking system far too delicate for a family of vampires, but Esme thinks that the children need to learn how to be careful.
“Oh, your siblings are in trouble,” Carlisle sighs. “We’re lucky to have one little angel.”
“Two little angels,” Rosalie corrects him, jumping into one of the nearby chairs.
“Ah, of course.” Carlisle smiles at her. She’s done her hair in pigtails, and decorated her bangs with colourful clips. Rosalie is their eldest daughter, regressing to around eight or nine, but she’s still quite young. “Two angels. Where’s your older brother?”
“Upstairs,” Rosalie shrugs. “Listening to music.”
Sure enough, Carlisle can hear the tinny sound of Debussy’s Reverie coming from Edward’s headphones upstairs. “He’s missing family time.” Carlisle is worried about Edward, although he knows it’s pointless. Edward had been his first son, after all, and although he loves his entire family, he finds that Edward has withdrawn more and more in the recent decades. “Would you go and fetch him, Rosalie?”
“I can try,” Rosalie says dubiously.
“Come on, angel,” Carlisle cajoles. He holds out a hand, and Rosalie comes over to accept it. He kisses the back of her hand, smiling up at her. “You’re the only one scary enough to make him come down.” Rosalie laughs, clearly pleased by that.
“Can I play science after I get him? Mommy said I wasn’t allowed.”
“If I can play with you, we can absolutely do some science after.” Rosalie has a talent for creating explosions in the ‘kitchen,’ which is mostly used as a laboratory space for the children who are interested in such things. They all need adult supervision, but Rosalie often tries to argue that she’s old enough to play alone.
“Fine,” Rosalie sighs. “I’ll get him.”
And she runs up the stairs, upstairs within a second. Carlisle can hear the whir of Edward’s tape player as Rosalie’s footsteps start towards his room. Edward has been alive for many forms of music, but for some reason he always uses a tape player when he’s regressing. It makes it easy for Carlisle to tell when he’s regressed, at least: he’s so quiet as a teen, the eldest of the five siblings. Almost old enough that his regression matches the part all the Cullens children play in the human world, pretending to be teenagers.
There are only a few years between Edward’s regression and his everyday mask, but a world of difference. Edward can only regress at home, surrounded by the familiar thoughts of his family. Outside of the house, the constant noise makes it impossible for him to do anything except constantly sort through the data pouring in from all sides.
Carlisle closes his eyes, shutting out the sound of Edward’s music and Esme struggling with the hammock while Alice plays around her. Instead, he focuses on Jasper’s even breaths as he lies against his father’s chest.
Carlisle matches his youngest child’s breathing, enjoying the motion. He’s gotten out of the habit through the years: it’s easier to get through the days of hospital work if you pretend to be breathing, but neglect the act itself and all the intensity of tastes and smells that come with it. Here at home, Carlisle will sometimes engage in meditation, turning his attention to the act of breathing: there’s something calming about the flow of air in your body, even if you don’t need the oxygen for your blood flow.
Jasper smiles in his feigned sleep, pressing a little closer to Carlisle’s chest. He clearly knows that he’s being copied.
“Precious boy,” Carlisle says fondly, brushing a hand across Jasper’s cheek. “So loved by his parents.”
Jasper fully smiles at that, closing his eyes tighter and pulling at Carlisle’s sweater in an approximation of a hug.
“I love you too,” Carlisle murmurs, knowing what the gesture means.
“Daddy!” Rosalie says, standing in front of the couch again.
“Yes, sweetheart?” Carlisle says, blinking up at her.
“You need to get Edward.” Rosalie crosses her arms. Esme enters the room, and Carlisle can tell from her expression that she heard a conversation that he missed. She looks worried, her eyes flickering to the ceiling where Edward’s room is.
“You’d better go,” she agrees. “Give the baby to mommy, he needs a change.”
Jasper is transferred between them again, happy to get back to his mommy’s arms. Carlisle will never be the favourite parent there, but that’s alright. He loves all his children equally. But now his worry for Edward is sharper, wondering what he missed in his preoccupation with Jasper’s breathing.
“Is he alright?” Carlisle asks, already halfway up the stairs.
“He’s fine,” Rosalie says. “Just little,” she adds as Carlisle reaches the door to Edward’s room, the words echoing up the stairs behind him.
Carlisle knocks on the door, realizing that the music had stopped when Rosalie came up. Another thing he hadn’t noticed.
There’s no answer from the other side of the door, aside from a small intake of breath.
“Edward?” Carlisle calls. “May I come in?”
Again, no response.
Carlisle pushes the door open cautiously, and sees Edward curled up on the floor under a heavy blanket. His tapes are spread around him, his headphones discarded on the floor and his tape player in one hand. He’s staring blankly at the wall, and doesn’t respond to Carlisle’s entrance.
“Edward?” Carlisle approaches slowly. “Are you alright?”
Slowly, Edward pulls the blanket over his face, hiding from Carlisle entirely.
“Do you not want to have a family evening? You don’t have to regress if you don’t feel like it. You can come read to your siblings, or you can stay here.” Carlisle knows that his worry must be clear to Edward, his words all but useless when Edward can read the flow of his thoughts. Even though the two of them are adept at voiceless conversation, especially in front of humans or even members of the family, Carlisle has always preferred to speak aloud when he’s alone with Edward. Still, he knows his mind is whirling with the questions he keeps unsaid. What happened? What’s wrong? How can I help?
The pile of blanket on the floor doesn’t move, giving Carlisle nothing to read.
“Do you want me to leave?” Carlisle asks, quietly enough that the family members downstairs wouldn’t be able to hear him.
Finally, a movement: a pale hand reaches towards Carlisle from under the blanket, splayed fingers in a wordless command. Don’t go.
“Alright.” Carlisle keeps his words voiceless, quiet enough that a human wouldn’t be able to hear. “I’ll stay.” He folds himself up and kneels next to Edward, and begins breathing to pass the time. The children downstairs are laughing about something, probably at Emmett’s expense if his angry reply is any indication. Esme is singing to Jasper, her voice drifting through the other noises. Esme’s voice was incredible when she was a human woman, and she has only improved since her death.
Carlisle quiets his mind, letting his awareness drift to the sensation of breath. Edward has often said that he enjoys being near Carlisle when he meditates, finding the relative calm of his thoughts a welcome break. Carlisle lets his worry drift freely in his mind, neither rejecting nor focusing on it. He can hear Edward beginning to match his breath, and he slows the rhythm further.
“I’m sorry,” Edward whispers.
Carlisle casts his eyes towards his hidden son, keeping his mind clear and restful. “Will you tell me what troubles you, Edward?”
“I can’t.” Edward pulls the blanket down and turns his face towards Carlisle.
Vampires are unable to cry, just as they are unable to eat or sleep. But they still remember what it was to cry, and Edward’s breath becomes shaky as their eyes meet, his face crumpling with the anticipation of tears that will never come again.
“Edward,” Carlisle breathes, his chest aching with the memory of what sympathy felt like when he was alive. “Please, may I hold you?”
Edward nods, stretching out his hand again, and Carlisle is beside him in less than a millisecond, lifting his son into his arms and cradling him close.
“What do you need, Edward?” he whispers against his son’s forehead. “I can deny you nothing.”
“Father,” Edward manages, and buries his face in Carlisle’s chest.
“My son,” Carlisle says, smoothing Edward’s hair back. “Hush, I’m here. My precious boy.” Edward’s body shakes with imagined sobs, and Carlisle continues his soft reassurances. “You’re alright. I’m here, Edward. You have me.” He focuses on the physical sensations: the weight of Edward against him, the silk of his hair under his fingers. The amount of fondness he feels for this boy, his son, his first family member, overwhelms him. He presses his forehead to Edward’s, cupping the boy’s cheeks.
“I love you,” he tells him.
“I know,” Edward says, bringing his hands up to mirror Carlisle’s. “Thank you.” His voice sounds broken.
Carlisle doesn’t know how long they sit there, fingers intertwined and foreheads pressed together. Edward’s breathing evens out, and the sounds from downstairs continue. Carlisle fills his mind with love and lets Edward drink in his unwavering affection, surrounding the two of them with contentment.
Finally, Edward takes a final deep breath and sits back on his heels, blinking his eyes.
Vampires are denied the emotional release of tears, and the emotional rest of sleep. They have no escape from awareness, and for those who feel their inhumanity as deeply as the Cullens, a deep fatigue sets in through the years. That’s why family night is so important, as well as the smaller distractions of sparring matches and baseball games. The fatigue eases for a while, when you are caring and being cared for. When things are simple, and easy.
“Can I be younger tonight?” Edward asks, finally seeming centered enough to ask the question that must have been weighing on him all day, if not longer.
“Of course,” Carlisle answers without hesitation. “How young?” You don’t need to know, he adds without words. We can always figure it out as we go.
“Like Jasper,” Edward says, and puts the ridge of his thumb into his mouth. “Is that okay?”
“Absolutely.” Carlisle offers a hand, and Edward clasps it tight. “Do you want to stay upstairs, or see your siblings?”
“Will they laugh?” Edward says quietly. It’s a fair question: the other Cullen siblings enjoy mocking Edward when they’re all adults, and Rosalie likes to make fun of the only older sibling when they’re small.
“They won’t laugh,” Carlisle answers in the same undertone. “I’m sure of it.”
“Then I’d like to be with them,” Edward nods.
“I’m sure your mother would love to see you,” Carlisle says, squeezing Edward’s hand. “Now, should we get you changed?”
Edward nods wordlessly, casting his eyes to the ground.
“Brave boy,” Carlisle praises, and gets to his feet, scooping Edward into his arms.
Edward flinches and wraps all of his limbs around Carlisle, making Carlisle laugh slightly. Such an extreme response when he’s seen Edward dive off cliffs with no hesitation. His boy must be very regressed already. No wonder Edward struggled so much to ask his question.
Carlisle sings one of his favourite lullabies as he carries Edward down the hallway to the boys’ room. Edward doesn’t wear very different clothes when he regresses, so he doesn’t have a regression closet. They’ll have to steal from the younger brothers for now, and find some new outfits for Edward later if this will be a repeated experience.  
Carlisle beelines for the dresser and scoops a pacifier from the back of one of the drawers. Jasper doesn’t use them, and the pacifier has lain unused since it was tried and rejected. Edward has been chewing on his thumb ever since Carlisle picked him up, and Carlisle has a feeling the abandoned pacifier might finally have a use. He presses the pacifier to Edward’s lips, gentle enough for it to be refused, and Edward accepts it.
“Good,” Carlisle says, pressing a kiss to Edward’s temple. “Now let’s get you changed.”
He sits Edward on the changing table, and the boy curls into himself slightly. Carlisle breezes past Edward’s uncertainty, moving through the familiar motions of disrobing him and fastening a diaper around his hips, patting the tape into place.
“Safe and sound,” Carlisle murmurs. “Would you like a shirt or pyjamas, sweetheart?”
Edward blinks up at him, and sucks on the pacifier.
“Pyjamas it is,” Carlisle says, unable to hide the fondness in his voice. He finds one of the darker onesies hanging in the closet and guides Edward’s limbs into it, patting the baby’s belly before doing up the buttons. Edward squirms a little, but more in amusement than in protest.
Carlisle chuckles at his reaction and scoops the boy back into his arms.
“Let’s go see your big brother and sisters, hmm?” he says to Edward. “I think they have some guppies on.” Edward usually hates sitting around when his siblings are watching cartoons, pretending to read a book somewhere apart or convince his siblings to gather around and listen to him read. But today he perks up at the mention of cartoons, eyes widening with interest.
“Do you want to sit with your mother?” Carlisle suggests, careful to hold Edward steady on his hip as they make their way down the stairs. “I’m sure she’d love to spend time with her baby boy.” Edward clings to Carlisle’s shoulders. “Ah, fair enough.” Carlisle can’t help smiling at the boy’s attachment, even though he’s sure that he’ll change his tune once he sees Esme.
“Hi daddy,” Alice calls distractedly when they enter. Emmett and Rosalie both glance up briefly from the screen and then return to their cartoons without comment. Edward is hiding his face in Carlisle’s neck, and Carlisle can feel the slight rocking of the pacifier as Edward gets the hang of sucking on it.
“Hello angels,” Carlisle replies, and makes his way to the couch behind the children, where Esme is sitting with Jasper cross-legged on the ground between her legs, his head leaning against Esme’s knee so that she can pet his hair while he watches the cartoons.
“Good to see you two,” Esme says quietly, under the noise of the cartoon. “I was worried.”
“This little one needed changing,” Carlisle says, sitting down and trying to rearrange Edward in his arms, who is still determinedly hiding against him. “Edward, come out and say hello to your mother,” he teases, flicking one finger against Edward’s neck.
Edward wiggles, displeased with the attempt to tickle him, and finally turns his face sideways.
Esme gasps softly. “Oh, darling boy.” She reaches out to cup Edward’s face, and the boy lets her. “Look at my baby.” Carlisle smiles at the two of them, as Edward shifts towards Esme on the couch and she helps him into her lap, careful not to dislodge Jasper’s place on the floor at her feet. “There, let me hold you,” Esme coos, pressing him against herself.
She would be crying, Carlisle reflects, if she were still able. There is something about Edward trusting them with this, after so long and so many siblings. They have spent so many decades together, physically unchanging, and yet they are still growing and learning about each other. It is an unimaginable gift from the universe, one that Carlisle will never take for granted.
As Edward smiles around the pacifier and Emmett yells something at the screen, Carlisle leans back on the couch and lets his gaze travel around his family, a serenity deeper than meditation settling in his chest. This is his family first, and his Clan second, and he would do absolutely anything to keep them safe.
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commentaryvorg · 3 years
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Digimon Data Squad Dub Comparison Episode 4 - The New Team of Marcus and Thomas!
This is a companion to my commentary on the original Japanese Digimon Savers! Reading my commentary on the original version of this episode (which you can find here) is recommended before reading this dub comparison.
Original name ~ Dubbed name
Masaru Daimon ~ Marcus Damon
Yoshino Fujieda ~ Yoshino “Yoshi” Fujieda
Tohma H. Norstein ~ Thomas H. Norstein
Sayuri Daimon ~ Sarah Damon
Chika Daimon ~ Kristy Damon
Captain Rentarou Satsuma ~ Commander Richard Sampson
[Since several characters share the same name between the original and the dub, quotes from the dub will always be in italics, while quotes from the original will not, in order to distinguish them.]
Marcus:  “My guess is that the Digimon we want is inside.”
Agumon: “Wow, nothing gets past you, does it, Boss?”
Another Agumon line that would be very snarky – this entire building is covered in slime and stinks to high heaven, yes I wonder where the Numemon went – but that Agumon probably means completely genuinely.
Yoshino:  “Cleaning up after this will be tough.”
~~~~~
Yoshi: “Can the chatter and move in. We’ve got a job to do.”
I am sad at the loss of Yoshino worrying about the clean-up.
Thomas:  “I doubt he’ll survive long enough to learn to work with us.”
Against a Numemon? Yeah, sure, that thing’s totally going to make toast out of Marcus because he’s not listening to your plan. (Tohma had no such uncalled-for jab here.)
Tohma:  “Velocity at +2 with a movement rate of 0.06.”
~~~~~
Thomas: “I’m picking up movement. He’s heading this way.”
Thomas is not precisely calculating its speed like Tohma did, which, yeah, that’s a lot more sensible, especially since Tohma’s technobabble in doing so was kinda nonsensical. Still, it’s kind of appropriately over-the-top perfectionistic of Tohma to have felt the need to do so here, so maybe losing that’s still a shame?
Yoshino:  “Stop causing unnecessary trouble!”
~~~~~
Yoshi: “You would be lost without me!”
This is after Lalamon defeats the Numemon for them. On the one hand I like Yoshino being professional and simply moving to point out that this is their fault for bickering; on the other hand, she absolutely deserves to be a little smug, because yes, they would be lost without her.
Masaru:  “Listening to your blabbering takes too long, you Tonma!”
Tohma:  “My name’s not Tonma, it’s To-h-ma! Can’t you even remember a person’s name?”
Masaru:  “Oh, I remember, TONMA H. Norstein-san!”
Tohma:  “Are you going to keep insulting me?”
~~~~~
Marcus: “Well, I would listen to ya, Thomas, if you ever had anything worthwhile to say!”
Thomas: “You jerk! No, make that you cocky jerk! You’re just a snot-nosed amateur. You don’t even know what you’re doing!”
Since the dub doesn’t have an equivalent of “Tonma” for Marcus to call Thomas here, this argument gets shifted around a bit… and as a result, suddenly Thomas is being far more out-of-line, not only rising to the bait but throwing even more uncalled-for insults than Marcus was in the first place. And the thing is, most of this exchange takes place over the shot of Yoshi’s exasperation, so the dubbers didn’t need to keep Thomas speaking for so long and could have put in more of Marcus being just as insulting. While last episode’s changes generally made Thomas somewhat more reasonable, this one is suddenly making him noticeably less so? Apparently the dubbers didn’t have any actual consistent plan in mind with this, then, and are just throwing in whatever without thinking.
Chika:  “Is he a friend of yours, Masaru-niichan? Introduce me!”
Masaru:  “He’s not a friend!”
Chika:  [to Tohma] “I’m his younger sister Chika. Nice to meet you!”
Chika:  “He drove Masaru-niichan back home.”
Sayuri:  “Oh my! I’m much obliged to you for taking care of our Masaru!”
~~~~~
Kristy: “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend, Marcus?”
Marcus:  “I would if he were my friend, but he’s not.”
Kristy:  [to Thomas] “Just ignore him, that’s what I always do. I’m Kristy.”
Kristy: “Marcus’s friend drove him home.”
Sarah: “Thanks very much, Mister Marcus’s Friend.”
Well, okay, apparently Kristy really did ignore her brother’s very firm insistence that Thomas isn’t his friend and decided he is anyway. (And that’s despite Marcus making it a lot clearer that he doesn’t even like this guy than Masaru did.) The original had Sayuri and Chika accidentally misunderstanding and assuming vaguely friendly terms between Masaru and Tohma simply because Tohma drove him home, but here it’s very much a result of Kristy deciding to deliberately misunderstand how her brother claimed things were, just to be contrary. So in this scene, Marcus’s frustration as Thomas leaves seems to be a lot more just annoyed that his sister insisted and made his mom believe that they’re friends.
Either Kristy’s the one being an annoying sibling here, or this is supposed to make us think that Marcus routinely brings home friends while moodily insisting that they’re not his friends because he’s a Tough Guy who Doesn’t Need Friends etc. Which, ehhh, that is not a thing Masaru would do.
Ookawa:  “Stay away, stop!”
Drimogemon: “Stop.”
Komiya:  “You can understand us?”
Drimogemon: “Understand.”
~~~~~
Komiya:  “Do something! You gotta save me!”
Ookawa: “Save yourself!”
Drimogemon: “Relax.”
Komiya: “Huh? You can speak?”
Drimogemon: “Yes, of course I can.”
Here in the dub, Drimogemon is not remotely parroting their words and is very definitely speaking for himself. This is a very significant difference and absolutely not how it is supposed to work in the original.
Ookawa:  “R-Really? Th-Then, can you make a hole with that drill of yours?”
Drimogemon: “Hole!” [it immediately begins drilling through the nearest wall]
~~~~~
Ookawa: “Wait, can that nose of yours dig us out of here?”
Drimogemon: “Stand back!” [he immediately begins drilling through the nearest wall]
Even so, given that Drimogemon is apparently doing this entirely of his own accord, it raises all sorts of questions as to why he’s so weirdly chill with helping these random humans escape this place. He seems to perfectly understand the situation, but, since he literally only just came to this world, how?
(Note how I’m using “he” for Drimogemon in the dub despite having used “it” in the original, because in the dub it very distinctly feels like Drimogemon is a person and not just a non-lucid creature.)
Drimogemon then just walks out of the hole he made without another word, because he didn’t say another word in the original. With this new more talkative and lucid Drimogemon, I’d expect him to have said something like “hey, come on!”, encouraging his new somehow-friends to follow him. But they can’t do that, because it didn’t happen originally, because it’s not supposed to be happening like this at all.
Yoshino:  “They’ve made a large mess…”
~~~~~
Yoshi: “More good news, as always…”
Again the dub is leaving out these little bits of Yoshino worrying about the clean-up they’ll have to do. I like those signs of her thinking about the practical concerns and actually subtly being the most competent member of this team in all these less-flashy ways, and I’m sad to see it gone in the dub.
Miki:  “This is a digital device found at the scene of the crime.”
Megumi:  “This device showed faint responses of a Digimon reaction.”
Tohma:  “I think that while they were hacking the bank’s security system, a gate to the Digital World opened up by pure coincidence.”
~~~~~
Megumi:  “A device was found at the scene that produces a signal which attracts Digimon.”
Thomas: “Hacking into the bank’s security system must have accidentally opened a gate to the Digital World, and the Digimon simply came through it.”
Uhhhh, yeah, I’m pretty sure none of these things are supposed to be true. I guess it could be simply an accident that something about the device’s signal happens to be attractive to Digimon; it sure doesn’t make any sense that some random hacking device bought off the internet deliberately attracts these secret creatures from another world.
Meanwhile, I guess Thomas’s assumption that the device is what opened the gate could also be just a false assumption (though I’m not convinced that the dub writers know that Thomas is incorrect here). But also, way for him to claim that the part where the Digimon appeared was a coincidence, which basically contradicts what Megumi just somehow confirmed.
I just don’t think the dubbers are thinking about this very hard at all, and it certainly doesn’t seem like they’ve watched ahead in the series to realise that the device is definitely not the reason this happened.
Ookawa: “Keep our friend company.”
Komiya: “He’s really gonna stick around?”
Drimogemon: “You bet!”
Drimogemon is still very much being a person and speaking for himself, but also, why? Why does he want to stick around? What is he getting out of this? From the way he’s talking here, it doesn’t just seem to be out of a selfless desire to help them.
(Actually, given the dub’s rather different version of why this is happening than the original, as will be established in a later episode, maybe there is something Drimogemon is getting out of this. So I guess I’ll talk about this again later when we get to the dub establishing that change.)
Tohma:  “If you were that worried about your mother, you should have stayed at home.”
~~~~~
Thomas:  “If you’re so worried about your mommy, then you should have just stayed home.”
This line itself is almost exactly the same, and the rest of the conversation around it is also basically equivalent, but I don’t know if I like the “mommy”. It makes it sound a lot more like Thomas is mocking Marcus for being worried about sneaking out without her permission. Since this whole thing is coming from Thomas’s jealousy at Marcus’s family situation, I guess it could be reasonable for it to come out sounding bitter and disdainful like this? I dunno, it still doesn’t feel quite as right to me, since this is Thomas briefly letting slip the feeling that of course he should care about his mother.
Yoshino:  “All you ever seem to think about is picking fights with Digimon…”
Masaru:  “I just have to defeat ‘em, don’t I?”
~~~~~
Yoshi: “All you seem to care about is getting into fights.”
Marcus: “Rrgh. Sorry, I thought you wanted to defeat them!”
Masaru here is simply being kinda bewildered at why he’s supposed to think all this extra stuff about duty is important when all they need him to do is defeat Digimon. But Marcus is being a lot more angry and defensive about them objecting to his love of fighting.
Masaru:  “Damn it! What’s going on here?! … … Baaaaah!”
~~~~~
Marcus:  “I didn’t do anything! All I did was push these buttons, and then, a – a thing happened, and… aagh – aaarrrgh!”
I do prefer Marcus’s more elaborate flustered squawking as he messes up the computer.
Masaru:  “Whew, it stopped.”
~~~~~
Marcus: “Whew, I fixed it!”
Marcus also has more audacity than Masaru in assuming that him hitting the computer somehow magically fixed it, rather than it simply made it stop blaring at him one way or another.
Thomas: “Maybe we should take away his computer privileges, just in case.”
Honestly, that would be an entirely reasonable thing to do. It’s not like he’s going to be able to do anything useful on them anyway.
Tohma:  “Keep him in your Digivice!”
~~~~~
Thomas: “Put this oversized oaf in your Digivice!”
A bit of an uncalled-for jab at Agumon there, Thomas. He is still getting shifted to be just slightly more of a jerk in this episode than he was originally.
Agumon:  “I hate being inside of that Digivice!”
Tohma:  “Having one annoyance is more than enough already.”
~~~~~
Agumon:  “I can’t stand being in there, it’s so cramped!”
Thomas: “Great, I get to sit next to two nitwits.”
I enjoy Agumon stressing the cramped thing again – but then Thomas’s response, phrased more like an actual response to what Agumon said, makes it sound like he’s calling Agumon a nitwit because he doesn’t like cramped spaces. Bit of a dick move?
Drimogemon: “You want me to make a hole here?”
Drimogemon is still being a person and wilfully choosing to co-operate with these dudes, for… some reason.
Komiya:  “Now we’re super-rich!”
Drimogemon: “Super-rich!”
~~~~~
Komiya: “We’re gonna be super filthy rich!”
Drimogemon:  “It looks clean.”
For a while, I was very confused as to why Drimogemon would randomly call the money clean of all things, but then I realised he’s responding to the “filthy rich” line and taking it literally. I guess that does make sense in this version of the narrative where Drimogemon is being a lucid person but isn’t human and doesn’t properly get why the robbers want money. (The dubbers sure don’t remember this concept of Digimon-aren’t-aware-of-human-phrasings the rest of the time though; see Agumon.)
Ookawa:  “You’re roadkill!”
~~~~~
Ookawa: “We’re in big trouble!”
During the van-pushing match, we lose the murderous intent, because of course we do, this is the dub, it’s not like that’s something that’s quite important for why this happened in the original or anything. Instead…
Drimogemon:  (My friends need me!)
Drimogemon thinks this, as he begins to glow with an ominous, very dark-looking energy and grow bigger. It didn’t have any line here at all in the original. This is definitely not supposed to be Drimogemon getting a burst of power out of a desire to protect its friends. Especially since Drimogemon isn’t going to say another word from this point on and, in fact, will crush the entire van and only not crush its “friends” in the process by sheer luck.
(I guess it could be read as a case of the extra power Drimogemon consciously draws on being something he can’t control, leading him to become overwhelmed with it and forget the fact that he wanted to protect them? That’d make an interesting, kinda-tragic narrative in itself, but it’s definitely not presented that way, because that’s not the narrative in the original, because it never considered them friends in the original at all.)
Also, why does Drimogemon even consider them his friends? He’s been helping them, but they haven’t done a thing for him in return. As I mentioned, there is a potential reason that could work in the dub for why he’s been helping them, but that reason does not constitute thinking of them as friends or particularly caring about protecting them on the basis that they’re “friends”.
Marcus:  “I think it’s Digivolving!”
It really isn’t, but okay. (Drimogemon Digivolve to… BiggerDrimogemon!)
Miki:  “The Digimon signal is getting abnormally stronger!”
~~~~~
Miki:  “In response to the threat, Drimogemon is growing!”
Response to the “threat” of Masaru and Agumon was definitely not what actually made Drimogemon grow originally… but I guess that’s consistent with how the dub’s presenting this version, so whatever.
Kudamon:  “It must’ve gone berserk!”
~~~~~
Kudamon: “Our team’s in trouble.”
You know, somewhere around here would have been a reasonable moment for the dub to slip in a line about how Drimogemon won’t be able to control this extra power he’s drawing on and will even end up endangering his “friends”, if they were deliberately going with that narrative. But no.
Marcus makes some glorious panicked squawks as he’s flung into the water. His VA is pretty great at that kind of thing. Masaru’s VA is also pretty great at it, don’t get me wrong, but this time I liked Marcus’s more.
The melody of Lalamon’s Sing A Song is completely different in the dub. This will be relevant in a later episode.
Masaru:  “Our fighting spirit won’t be doused by water!”
~~~~~
Marcus: “And if you thought you had it rough before, just wait!”
Masaru here is just excited to fight, not even really caring that Tohma is also involved in this. But Marcus is specifically trying to make himself sound better than Thomas (the “before” he’s referring to is when Drimogemon was facing Thomas and Gaomon just a second ago).
Tohma:  “You want to interfere with me again?!”
~~~~~
Thomas:  “Oh no! He’s going to ruin the plan!”
Thomas’s line sounds very stilted and expositiony (as if the viewers couldn’t already figure out for themselves that Marcus is going to drive it back onto land), rather than Tohma more meaningfully expressing frustration at Masaru for interfering with the plan.
Masaru:  “Shut up! It doesn’t matter where a man’s fight takes place! As long as sparks are flying, that’s where our fighting ring is!”
~~~~~
Marcus: “Back off! We’re gonna take this guy down our way! ‘Cause wherever we fight, we come out on top!”
The general intent of this speech is pretty much intact, but again, the dub removed the mention of manliness. It’s not like that concept could possibly be a really important part of Masaru’s character or anything, nah.
(Though the emphasis on “our way” (implying: as opposed to Thomas’s way) also gives more of a sense that Marcus is still thinking about proving he’s better than Thomas rather than Masaru simply wanting to fight without really caring about their rivalry right now.)
Tohma:  “If you fight above earth, he can escape underground! Why can’t you understand that?!”
~~~~~
Thomas:  “If you fight over water, he can’t escape underground! You’re going to let him get away, you impulsive fool!”
While it’s honestly entirely fair to call Marcus (and Masaru) an impulsive fool, doing so in the middle of the fight like this still feels slightly more uncalled-for and just-being-a-jerk than how Tohma expressed his frustration.
Masaru:  “He turned tail during a fight! I don’t believe that guy!”
Agumon:  “It must be because we’re strong!”
~~~~~
Marcus:  “He turned and ran from a fight! What kinda Digimon is this guy?!”
Agumon: “The kind that turns and runs, I guess.”
Agumon’s comment in the dub is not as adorably naïve-excitement-about-their-strength as the original, I am disappoint.
Tohma:  “Check rate of velocity. According to his behaviour patterns, he should show up at point 08 in district E!”
~~~~~
Thomas:  “But maybe, based on his behaviour, we can track Drimogemon.”
Thomas: [after evolving Gaomon, on Gaogamon’s back] “Quick! Get to Area F!”
At first it seems like the dub is going a little bit less silly-sciencey-technobabble here, like Thomas isn’t going to somehow magically predict where Drimogemon will show up and is simply going to follow its signal and then run ahead of it. But then, no, he’s still somehow predicted it exactly, despite being a lot vaguer about how. At least Tohma’s technobabble, silly as it was, gave some sense that there was some kind of calculation he was doing there. The thing of checking its velocity made a return from the Numemon incident earlier, at least. But the dub didn’t have him precisely measuring Numemon’s speed, which was more sensible back then, but possibly makes a little bit less sense not being mentioned now?
(I’m very much nitpicking here, because this is pretty silly even in the original.)
Masaru:  “Calculations aren’t always right!”
~~~~~
Marcus:  “We prove that his way isn’t the only way!”
This is Marcus being somewhat less bitter about Thomas than originally, since he’s at least acknowledging that Thomas’s way is a valid way to do things, whereas Masaru was grumpily trying to insist that Tohma’s calculations totally aren’t always even right at all.
Tohma:  “There’s no-one to drag us down now.”
~~~~~
Thomas: “And this time, Marcus isn’t around to mess it up.”
Tohma:  “I can’t believe you want to drag me down again!”
~~~~~
Thomas: “Haven’t you done enough damage already, Marcus?”
There was something quite meaningful in Tohma’s “drag me down” (this is really about his sense of pride and not just about Masaru), and that’s lost in the dub’s versions of these lines.
Sadly, the amusing effect of the way Believer abruptly cuts out as it becomes clear they’re screwing up isn’t there in the dub, because the dub’s evolution theme just happens to reach its natural stopping point at that moment.
Tohma:  “This is bad! We let him escape to the Digital World…”
~~~~~
Thomas: “Fine job, Marcus! You let him escape to the Digital World!”
Thomas immediately jumps to accusing Marcus here, where Tohma didn’t. Since this is the point in the original where Tohma begins to be hit with the fact that he failed and it becomes a lot more about him, I kinda like the way that it doesn’t occur to him to blame it all on Masaru in that initial moment.
Masaru:  “Good! I’m out, too!”
~~~~~
Marcus: “Good! I’m sick o’ you holdin’ me back anyway!”
Here in the dub we have Marcus being the one to emphasise the point that he feels the other has been holding him back, rather than Thomas. I don’t think that’s quite meant to be the point. (Again, Masaru has been quite happy to be just doing his fighty thing in this episode and only mildly peripherally annoyed about Tohma being there too.)
Kudamon:  “And it’s even worse now that he’s running wild.”
~~~~~
Kudamon: “And now Drimogemon is out there somewhere…”
The dub misses the explanation of the part where the reason Drimogemon going back to the Digital World as not-an-egg is a problem is because he’s still rampaging. …Which, I guess, probably has something to do with the fact that the dub didn’t even seem to realise he was rampaging after the point where he grew bigger at all.
Satsuma:  “He may appear again someday. Keep on the lookout.”
~~~~~
Sampson:  “We may yet get another crack at him, but… you simply failed.”
Meanwhile Sampson is just being way harsher than he was originally, made even more so by it not being made as clear why this was a failure.
Kudamon:  “That’s not the only problem. He might act as a negative influence to the other Digimon living in the Digital World.”
~~~~~
Kudamon: “You have to think of the big picture. What if he gets other Digimon to join him, and he infiltrates this world in numbers too large to stop?”
I, uh, don’t think that “encouraging more Digimon to come to the human world” is quite what Kudamon originally meant when he talked about Drimogemon being a negative influence, since, you know, the whole mindlessly rampaging thing.
(What is dub-Drimogemon even going to say to the other Digimon to get them to want to join him? “Hey, come to the human world, there’s… banks to rob!”)
But also, I am sad that dub-Kudamon is still worrying more about the human world. I liked how original-Kudamon cared about the problems this might cause in the Digital World, which is, after all, Kudamon’s home.
Tohma:  “I’ll go in pursuit of Drimogemon and turn him into a Digiegg without fail!”
~~~~~
Thomas: “Please, just let me do this and I promise that I’ll capture Drimogemon!”
The dub is not mentioning the part where the only thing that really matters here is turning Drimogemon back into an egg. “Capture” could technically be one word for that, I guess, but it could also easily be misinterpreted at something else like, I dunno, bringing him to DATS to imprison him there or something, which is less of a solution than letting him wander around the Digital World. It's like the dub’s angle on this is that Drimogemon is a criminal who must be caught. This isn’t about punishing the Digimon for their “crimes”, but simply about making sure they can’t cause trouble any more, for either world.
Satsuma:  “Stop thinking of such foolishness!”
~~~~~
Sampson: “Enough. You’ve failed; accept it.”
Sampson is really going way harder on the failure front here than Satsuma was. (It’s actually pretty fair that Satsuma didn’t make a huge deal of them failing, since, while the two of them clashing did not help, Drimogemon’s escape actually pretty much happened by accident thanks to the Digital Gate happening to appear at the worst time.)
Still, Sampson stressing this part does at least serve to make it clearer while still not being too unsubtly obvious that Thomas’s real issue here is feeling like he failed.
Yoshino:  “I’ve been working since early morning yesterday, too… Being on-duty is rough…”
Lalamon:  “But I’m here with you.”
~~~~~
Yoshi: “Man, this has been a dull shift. Not that I’m complaining about having a little downtime…”
Lalamon: “Sounds like that’s exactly what you’re doing.”
It seems like Yoshi hasn’t been awake and working for basically two days straight like Yoshino was. I guess that’s a point to dub-DATS for better employee hours.
Meanwhile, Lalamon is just being a lot sassier rather than supportive.
Yoshino:  “Lalamon, why is it locked?!”
~~~~~
Yoshi:  “We just got locked out, Lalamon!”
The dub is often not great in that it has lines like this that are unnaturally stilted saying what’s happening as if they need to tell the viewers that, rather than having lines with the characters naturally reacting to what’s happening that in the process smoothly inform the viewers of what’s going on.
Overall differences
This episode’s changes aren’t as bad as the previous one’s, but there are still a bunch of notable things.
Whereas last episode’s changes made Thomas the more reasonable one, this time they’ve made him less reasonable and more of an uncalled-for jerk towards Marcus in their arguments. Marcus also makes slightly more of a point about showing that his fighting is better than Thomas’s, whereas in the original Masaru was kinda just doing his own thing in the fights and only mildly annoyed about Tohma being there.
That device the robbers had absolutely should not have been responsible for opening the Digital Gate and attracting Drimogemon, but in the dub’s narrative, it seems we’re supposed to believe that that is how it happened.
The end of the episode makes it less apparent why Drimogemon escaping to the Digital World is a problem, especially with Thomas insisting he’ll go over there to capture him, which is nonsensical.
And then by far the most significant change is that Drimogemon is lucid and helping out the robbers of his own accord. This is a very big difference in how this stuff works in the dub, and it’s much less interesting! I will go into this a lot more in this opening arc of episodes, because the dub is at least consistent about making this type of change with all the rampaging Digimon. There’s also the part where Drimogemon grows larger apparently out of a desire to “protect his friends” instead of the reason it happened originally, except then he immediately proceeds to go wild and nearly kill said “friends”, so that doesn’t make very much sense.
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thebibliomancer · 3 years
Text
Archaia’s Jim Henson’s The Dark Crystal Age of Resistance #10
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The Journey into the Mondo Levidian Part 2
The true untold tale of All-Maudra Mayrin’s inaugural adventure!
Well, untold in the show. Comic is telling plenty.
In part one, Mayrin becomes All-Maudra and has plenty of unresolved mother issues and insecurity about it. Her first crisis is the growing Sifan separatist movement which threatens to shatter Gelfling solidarity and make her more of a Most-Maudra. She charters a ride with Captain Kam’Lu to go speak to the separatist leader Fenth but the ship goes and sinks.
So far we’ve had a journey so far but not into or Mondo Levidian. We probably should get around to that soon. There’s only three issues left.
So let’s get started!
When the ship sank, Mayrin jumped overboard to save Kam’Lu. Now they’re stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft.
Mayrin is insistent that they try to find and save the crew of the Scalene Anchor and also Dot. Kam’Lu is equally insistent that No That’s A Terrible Idea. They have no food, no water, and no hope of survival unless they’re lucky enough to find land. They’re in no position to rescue anyone else. Plus...
There are political considerations.
Kam’Lu: “If the other clans believe the Sifans killed the All-Maudra, we’ll never be trusted again.”
He also mentions that Fenth predicted that THIS EXACT SITUATION might happen if the All-Maudra intervened in the Sifan separatist movement.
Huh.
Speaking of Fenth, the plot cuts over to him for a bit.
He learns of the sinking the Scalene Anchor and the presumed death of the New-All-Maudra and thinks hey, its free real estate.
High Councilor Fenth: “That means... There’s no one in line for the All-Maudra’s throne! The seat is vacant!”
skekSa: “How... fortunate! Haha! Ha! Haha! You wanted autonomy for the Sifans! Freedom from the greedy hands of the Vapra clan, yes? That is why honored me with this grand tithing -- to enlist my immortal aid? I am the only one who is sympathetic to your cause. That is why the Skeksis are here. To help Gelfling lead...!”
Call it a shot in the dark but I feel like skekSa was involved in the suspicious sea monster sinking of the Scalene Anchor.
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Of course, she’ll probably get away with it. It’d spoil the surprise too early if a Skeksis was caught doing an evil scheme.
Also, look at the ambition on Fenth. Grows up in a matriarchy where clan leaders are always women, where the word for clan leader means ‘clan mother’ and thinks to himself ‘psssh i can do that.’ Good on him. Dream big, guy.
Back over with our mismatched comedy duo, as all Dark Crystal stories must have, Mayrin and Kam’Lu have some mismatched comedy duo banter.
Like her criticizing him for not being able to find land despite being a captain of a ship. And then immediately spotting land while he’s indignantly defending his credentials.
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Or her maligning his swimming abilities since he fell off a boat and got knocked unconscious and had to be saved from drowning by her.
So he decides to turn this into a swimming contest, winner gets to be All-Maudra.
Good fun.
Just how I like my Gelfling buddy comedies.
Of course, its all fun and games until the island turns out to be a sea monster that eats them.
And it turns out that the island is a sea monster that eats them.
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A mondo levidian, if I had to guess.
Giant turtles passing as landscape. Giant monsters being mistaken for islands. This comic series is too good to me.
So the two slide down the mondo levidian’s throat (gross) MANAGING TO BICKER ON THE WAY DOWN!
Kam’Lu: “Don’t you have wings?!”
Mayrin: “They don’t work well when they’re wet!”
Amazing.
They slide and slorp and flump all the way down to presumably the stomach.
But as they stop to rest, they realize they’re not alone.
Sulub: “Yer some kinda fishie-fish I ain’t ever seen! Betchur tasty! Anyway! No wrigglin’ while I kill ya good!”
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OH MY GOD
This comic series is too good to me.
Look at this delightful podling crabtaur.
Once Kam’Lu proves immune to Sulub’s “advanced technology” (ie Sulub stabs Kam’Lu in the foot with a spear), the podcrab agrees to take the two Gelfling to see his village elder.
Sulub actually assumes that Mayrin and Kam’Lu are married and here on honeymoon at the thriving fish digestive system tourism industry I guess. Mayrin claims that Kam’Lu is just a fool and her servant (and Kam’Lu doesn’t speak Podling very well so has no idea about this) and introduces herself as the All-Maudra.
Sulub: “ALL-MAUDRA! The legendary All-Maudra! Well, why didn’t ya say so! Sulub is gilltickled and downright honored to lead ‘the all-powerful and all-knowing’ All-Maudra to our home. You’ll be enjoyin’ to know we’ve kept care of your most regal gifts! Still in pristine condition for havin’ come in a while ago!”
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The gut city of Bajula has a statue of the previous All-Maudra, one apparently commissioned when Mayrin was baby.
Huh.
Well. Its helpful to Mayrin that they know about the All-Maudra and are excited to have her here. And that they’re assuming that she sent the statue ahead of herself, like luggage.
Sulub tours Mayrin and Kam’Lu around Bajula. Showing them the goo farms, the visitor center, the fermented... milk wine bar.
The king shows up and is disappointed that the Gelfling want to leave so soon into their visit and asks if Sulub even bothered to show them the goo farms!
But since Mayrin insists that they have important outside stuff to do outside, the king decides to rush through some exposition.
These podling crabs? They’re called Boblings.
Bobling King: “Thousands of trine ago, my tribe set out to explore the Silver Sea as proud, stalwart Podlings! Our regal forefathers were not known to swim, but their bravery was unmatched, and they set out to conquer everything they discovered! All those who would get in their way would be destroyed by the might of the Podlings! Yet there are creatures in this world that are mightier, and the Mondo Leviadin emerged from the Silver Sea and devoured their ships. Thousands of digestive cycles passed as we changed to better suit our new home. Our new world.”
An unstoppable army of Podlings sounds funny until you remember how awesome Hup is. The Mono Levidian may have spared the peoples of Thra a tragic fate.
Also, I’m a big impressed at the lack of linguistic drift. Thousands of trine and Bobling language is indistinguishable from Podling and Gelfling is still recognizable.
Kam’Lu gets fed up with the Bobling King and starts yelling that he’s cold, he’s hungry, he doesn’t want to be in a fish’s guts! Mayrin manages to convince the king by speaking of duty.
Bobling King: “You speak of duty. I know it well. As a leader of my kind, I would do anything for their survival. So yes, I will help you and your servant. Why you married him, I will never know.”
Kam’Lu: “Her what? We’re what?!”
Hah, that misunderstanding is paying dividends.
The king explains that the levidian only surfaces to feed once per trine and that it stays near the surface for a time after feeding.
So if Mayrin and Kam’Lu don’t get to the porticol (blowhole) within eight or so intestinal groans (.... hours??), they’ll be stuck until next trine.
WHICH IS GOING TO BE REAL BAD FOR MAYRIN’S CAREER.
Even though the Boblings are but a simple goo-farming people, the king sends his daughter Gunda, the most skilled hunter in Bajula, to escort them.
Gunda: “But father, the journey as never been done by a single Bobling. You send me into certain danger!”
King: “And do you not crave danger?! My daughter, you are the only one capable and brave enough to undertake such a quest! Please! A duty for your king!”
Gunda: “So be it. I will guide you to the porticol, but know that it is dangerous and uncharted. There are many creatures that call this place home. We must be vigilant. Stalwart. Like my podling ancestors!”
This is a fun little bit because it implies a life and experiences and that these Boblings haven’t just been sitting waiting for protagonists to show up. I mean, they also have been doing that. They have a visitor center set up. But they’ve been living their own dramas.
And off they go! Mayrin, Kam’Lu, and Gunda! On a grand journey to a giant sea monster’s blowhole!
Wait, is this thing a mammal?
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So that’s issue 2.
We’re finally in the Mondo Levidian. And now all the protagonists want is to get out. So we’ve got the title, we’ve got an objective, we’ve got some fun side cast, we’ve got a ticking clock before Mayrin and Kam’Lu have to look at the sea monster gut apartment listings, and we’ve got some outside stakes!
Mayrin continues to impress. There’s even a moment right when Kam’Lu rouses after the shipwreck where he seems in awe of her confidence in a crisis.
Kam’Lu has his own personality now that’s not parroting Fenth. Its being a butt monkey, with a slight shade of being a little shit. Between Mayrin giving him shit for supposedly being bad at sailor stuff to getting stabbed in the foot by Boblings twice to being mistaken for Mayrin’s servant-husband, Kam’Lu is having a trying adventure. Plus his ship sank and all of his friends may be dead and if they fail to escape the Mondo Levidian, he’ll go down in history as the idiot that got an All-Maudra killed.
Poor guy.
Gunda has only had two pages to shine and she seems endearing! But it feels weird that Sulub isn’t coming along. He’s the introductory Bobling and all. But I guess speaking only Podling would be an impediment to interacting with Kam’Lu. Still, its weird that he just seems to fade out of the story once the king shows up.
Farewell, Sulub, you funky crab potato.
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Genji Heavy Industries (Part 3) Rolling Twenties
I don’t think anyone likes Mingfei Lu who just plays the game and doesn’t understand his background. So it makes sense that the MC would get irritated by him too.
The rumbling sound of the subway came from directly above, and ahead was the giant water turbine with a diameter of more than three meters. The sewer had become as wide as an underground river by this point, and the still water became turbulent. Rolling white waves bounced between the paddles with a thunderous sound. The water turbine was pumping a huge amount of water into the Iron Dome Shrine. 
"How do we get past?" Lu Mingfei looked up at the sharp paddles, each almost two meters long and cast in fine steel, which could easily cut off floating objects such as aquatic plants. 
"The water turbine doesn't always turn, and when it stops we'll get through between the holes in the grate." Chu Zihang said. 
"But when will it stop?" 
"It's already starting to slow down." 
The turbine was really slowing down, and it took a few minutes before it slowly stopped, water clattering down from the paddles. 
"Go now!" Caesar bellowed. 
You all climbed up the iron ladder on the side of the turbine and ran through the stainless steel grate. You hold on tight to Caesar and press your head down to make yourself as small as possible. You squeeze your eyes shut, trusting in his speed to get you through.
You slide down the smooth walls of the ducts and look up at the emptiness overhead. You couldn’t help but feel that the Iron Dome Temple was really a miracle in the history of engineering. This is probably the most advanced sewer system in the world, fully automated, with layers of cleaning nets intercepting the dirt in the water, giant mechanical arms shoveling up the sediment and dirt that has settled to the bottom of the pipe and sending it to the drainage tank high above, and intelligent robots sliding along the grooves in the pipe wall to maintain the machinery inside the pipe. Although there are iron ladders and walkways for maintenance on the walls of the pipes, the Iron Dome Shrine will not require manual maintenance for twenty years according to the design standards of the Maruyama Construction Institute. 
The familiar sound of electric welding echoed through the pipes. 
"Did you hear that? Over there is the underground dock of the Iwarui Institute. The sound of welding indicates that someone is repairing the equipment.” Caesar lowered his voice, "There are at least twenty people over there, twenty heavily armed men, so no one can speak loudly from now on. Our voices will echo and amplified in the pipes and can travel a long way."
You notice the gold tint of Caesar’s pupils. Without a word he had already sent out his Spirit Word, Scythe Itachi, and was listening far down into the channel. 
"I'm really a little afraid I can't control myself," whispered Lu Mingfei, "I want to talk when I'm nervous, like I'll be suffocated if I don't." 
"Use this," Caesar fished out four lollipops from his trench coat pocket, giving one to Lu Mingfei and one to Chu Zihang, "Put it in your mouth so you don't subconsciously shout out, but also to replenish your blood sugar." 
He hands one to you and you take it. Being quiet was never an  issue with you. The nurses at Black Swan Bay gave vicious glares to children who so much as whimpered in pain. So if Caesar asked you to be quiet, your strict training in obedience in this regard subconsciously came into play and you wouldn’t speak again unless given express permission to do so.
"Boss, can I exchange the mint flavored one with you?" 
"You're too late," Caesar threw the green lollipop into his mouth, "and start shutting up now, someone is coming this way!" 
A dozen seconds later, there were footsteps from high above. It was a black-clad guard, whose bony hands could be seen through his transparent raincoat pressing down on his sidearm. He was obviously not a policeman. No policeman would use a Colt "King Cobra". This large caliber revolver is expensive and deadly. It's the kind of gun that mobsters like. They see people as prey, and they're all about killing them in one shot. The four of you hid in the shadows against the wall of the tube and looked up through the iron grille as the beating feet of the guards in their leather shoes stepped over your heads and faded away. 
"Those twenty heavily armed guards are all of this mob killer level, right?" Lu Mingfei mumbled.
You catch his gaze with your wide eyed stare. What about ‘Shut up’ did he not understand? Channeled through you is the fury of the nurses of Black Swan Bay. You pierced Mingfei Lu with a silent threat so certain that the young man visibly paled. You raise a shaking finger to your lips and silently mouth the word, “Quiet!”
 Chu Zihang glanced at Caesar, who shook his head, meaning that this level of security was difficult to break through by force.  
"What about fire suppression? You have enough bullets now. How many targets can you take care of at once?" Chu Zihang asked. Since you were still riding Caesar, you could be privy to their whispered conversation even over the sound of the water.
"Three to five targets would not be a problem. At most you can solve six, even if you add your two Uzis, the three of us would be five guns against twenty guns. And we still do not know how many are hybrids here." Caesar said, "It's not as simple as dealing with gangsters." 
"Uh did you count me?" Lu Mingfei said. 
Caesar gave him a brief dismissive glance. "You don't count. You said so yourself, you’re a civilian." 
You’re so annoyed with him you can’t even laugh.
All three men were silent. Just approaching the door of Genji Heavy Industry, the way forward was completely blocked. In Black Swan Bay you faced similar odds. Renata raised her machine gun to the sky and blasted away nearly a dozen people. But in the end, she was killed and only managed to save one person. Twenty is too many.
"Maybe we should go back to the store. We ordered so much champagne. We can drink champagne while ordering some late night snacks to eat, and think about whether there is another way to get in here." Lu Mingfei cautiously proposed. 
“MC,” Caesar’s whisper was extremely quiet. “Your nails.”
You were so annoyed with Mingfei that you didn’t notice that you were digging your nails into Caesar’s collarbone.  You relax your hands. “We should have left him.” You breathe out into his ear.
“It’s okay.” You don’t even hear the whisper, you only see his mouth move.
 Chu Zihang pointed to the front of the pipe. 
The stream suddenly parted in the middle, and something cigar-shaped floated up on the water about six or seven meters in length and no more than two meters in diameter. It left a white wake as it sailed towards the Iwarui Institute's shipyard. 
"A miniature submarine of the Hydra!" Lu Mingfei remembered that Chisei had admitted that the Hydra family used the pipes to transport contraband. The cargo ship placed the contraband on the unmanned mini-submarine before entering the port, and the submarine arrived below the Genji Heavy Industries along the sewer. 
"Come closer and be careful not to make a sound." Caesar tiptoed ahead. 
Beeps shook the section of pipe, guards blew their whistles and called out to run to the dock from all sides. The submarine slid into the dock and a crane lifted it up in the air. The mechanical arm raised the huge thick metal tank from the hold, which was about two meters long and looked like an elongated barrel of crude oil. Chu Zihang and Caesar looked at each other and both shook their heads. Even with their experience, they couldn't see what cargo was there. This golden passage was obviously not for smuggling oil. 
The heavy airtight door on the wall of the tube suddenly opened and out stepped a man in a white lab coat who hurried past the guards to the metal tank and disinfected it with an alcohol spray. Apparently, this cargo was important and dangerous and he couldn't let the guards touch it first. In his haste, he forgot to close the airtight door that was the only way through Genji Heavy Industries. 
"Chance!" Caesar whispered. 
"The guards are concentrated over at the dock, and their attention is on the metal tanks. “We'll take the yellow spiral ladder over there and go up to the airtight door. Be quick, but don't run, any echoes will be clear in this enclosed space!" Chu Zihang said in a low voice. 
Before Lu Mingfei could raise an objection, Chu Zihang walked out seven or eight meters. He rarely stopped to discuss with people once he made a decision, so the Executive Department all agreed that Chu Zihang is a lone wolf. Caesar silently followed. This muscle-bound man actually can be as light as a cat when walking even with you on his back. Lu Mingfei had no choice but to tiptoe behind. The maintenance tunnel is overhead. They can only step on the iron frame supporting the grated path. It would take at least a few dozen seconds to get from the starting position to the mouth of the passage. If within these few dozen seconds any one of those guards turned back to look, there would be a gun battle.
You think of Z, silent, protecting you. 
Caesar and Chu Zihang's speed is extremely fast. In the twinkling of an eye, you go from the yellow ladder to the maintenance channel, and then a few meters into the airtight door. Lu Mingfei jumped a step in his rush. The crisp sound of metal hitting metal echoed in the pipe, like someone ringing a small bell. 
Chu Zihang's reminder was right. When Lu Mingfei started to run, a nut was shaken off and smashed on the wall of the pipe below. The guards pulled out their guns at the same time, all of them with laser sights on them, red beams scanning in all directions. Someone turned on a powerful flashlight. 
Your nails dig into Caesar again. Your heart drops.
He’s dead.
In Black Swan Bay, such errors were intolerable in training. In group training, you moved as a unit and you were careful to follow the instructions by the leaders. Any insubordination would be met with severe retraining if you were lucky. People who kept making mistakes tended to just disappear. So even though no one had fired a shot, it was as if Lu Mingfei’s mistake had marked him as dead in your mind.
Caesar and Chu Zihang quickly flashed into the airtight door. 
The guards did not find anything on the maintenance channel, and turned to scan their flashlights further down. The beam gradually approaches Lu Mingfei's hiding place and Caesar lets you off his back. You back away, knowing he was about to try and rescue him. But with all that firepower you’re not sure how he was going to survive the attempt.
"There it is!" One guard yelled. 
Several beams of light pointed to the water at the same time, where a long, slender black shadow was swimming! Originally, the shadow’s target was Lu Mingfei walking by the water's edge, but the bright flashlight startled it, and it immediately turned around and swam into the darkness. 
Gunshots burst out, and the guards fired one after another. Whoever supplied Genji heavy industry with guards must originally have been the vicious thugs in the underworld. They have no scruples nor are they stingy with bullets. Their goal is to smash resistance with overwhelming deadly force. 
Caesar’s arm came down from above and pulled Lu Mingfei up to the entrance. As soon as he’s inside, you round on him, teeth bared, and spit "You fucking idiot!” in Russian. In a moment, you raise your hand to slap him in the face, but Caesar’s arm cuts you off. 
“Hey!” He hisses sharply. “Calm down.”
Cheeks red and eyes blazing, you turn back around and move next to Chu Zihang, who glances briefly at you.
"You must have undergone very strict training." He murmured
You nod. 
"He hasn't. You can stay close to me. Let Caesar handle Mingfei."
The water in the pipe turned blood red and a four or five meter long white shark slowly floated up, riddled with bullet holes. You and Chu Zihang exchange glances. This is too incredible. This is the main channel of the Iron Dome Temple. The water in the pipe is five or six meters deep, and connected to the sea. The shark would have no problem moving in it, but this fierce large predator should be in open waters. What attracts it to swim into the spider web of sewers? 
"You were in a leadership position before… weren't you?" Chu Zihang whispers.
You were one of the oldest in the orphanage so it was leadership by default. You bounce your head back and forth and shrug.
"Makes sense. It's why you clash with Caesar so much. And why you get along. You probably had the most powerful Speech Spirit."
You shake your head and hold up three fingers. You mouth the word, 'Third'.
Chu Zihang doesn't respond immediately. "Renata?"
You smile and hold up two fingers but then you hold a finger to your lips and slice a hand across your throat.  The conversation was enough to calm you down the rest of the way.
"Let's go. While they’re not looking." Chu Zihang said. 
Caesar patted Lu Mingfei's shoulder to keep him from looking back. The white shark just now actually took Lu Mingfei as prey, but it's better not to tell Lu Mingfei about this. If he knew he was once seen as a fresh seal pup, he would probably be too scared to walk. 
"Holy shit, good fucking luck, good fucking luck, good luck, good luck." When he got on the elevator Lu Mingfei was still patting his chest in celebration as well as trying to calm his extreme panic. He was shaking so much, his teeth chattered. 
"No doubt. If you keep your good luck, we can rely on your luck to live." Caesar continued patting him on the shoulder and exchanged quiet glances with Chu Zihang. It was clear to everyone but Lu Mingfei that such luck could not be relied on to ever come again.
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the-fifth-tragedy · 3 years
Text
Chapter 1: Discovery
[Transcription of a video interview given by Sculptor Liran some time after the fifth occurrence of the Tragedy.]
Liran is sitting at a table, facing the camera. They look to be about average height, with coppery skin and darker hair that looks like it's still growing out from a mourning haircut, almost long enough to brush their shoulders. Their eyes are mostly green, and they sit with their upper set of arms resting on the table and the lower - one of which is prosthetic - in their lap. They are wearing a long dress, in a simple cut but with detailed embroidered designs that cover half the fabric and look to still be unfinished.
They look down at the camera, possibly reading something, and then close their eyes, sit up slightly, and begin to speak.
"I don't know what I was expecting when I saw the crashed ship.
I knew it was something bad, of course. It had to be. No one who had the skills to fly a ship in the first place would land so badly, not if they were still able to control it.
But I wasn't prepared for what exactly it was. What had happened to the pilot.
It had been a cold morning, much like every other on the Wake. And I was still up, it had been a few days since I'd slept. I was deep in a conversation with a friend a few stars away when it must have hit, so I didn't really notice. But they did, they pointed out that there had been some kind of loud noise on my end. So I went outside to look. And I saw that ship. Small, like any other, but really beat up looking. Definitely hadn't had a smooth landing. And no one was coming out of it. I waited for a few minutes, but still no one did. So I went over there and looked inside.
The first thing I noticed was the smell. I don't think I'm ever going to forget that horrible smell. Burned hair, and worse. I covered my face with my shirt and kept going. I called out, but no one answered, so I went to the front of the ship where the pilot would be. That's where I found them. Still at the controls, but slumped over, they didn't look conscious. This was about when I realized the scale of what must have happened. There were scorch marks all over. The controls looked scorched, half-melted. There were two dark spots on the floor, and I felt this.. sheer dread fill me, when I stepped close to those. Some part of me knew there was death in that ship.
The person in the pilot's seat wasn't dead, though they looked it. I could see them breathing, just a little. They were... gods, they looked like they should have been dead. Their hair was half burnt off, though that couldn't have accounted for all of the burning smell. They were sort of twitching a little? Their hands were twitching on the controls. I realized the ship's inner lights were still on at this point, the air filters still trying to clear all that god-awful smoke out of the air. Now, I don't know how much you know about ships like that, but they don't have backup batteries. The pilot has to do everything manually. They sort of go into a trance, I think? Like an out-of-body experience. But they usually stop, once they've landed. So they can go and do whatever they've gone wherever they've gone for. But this person hadn't, they were still in that trance. There was something else wrong with them, too - their power was... I don't know how to describe it. It was like they weren't controlling it properly. Sparking out of them like some broken electronic thing, melting bits of their mask and adding more little burnt holes to their already far from intact clothing, flickering over their skin. I knew immediately that I didn't want to touch them. It was easy to put two and two together with that, and the scorch marks on the floor so close to them, and the fact that no one ever flies a ship alone. But I didn't want to. I was still hoping that somehow this wasn't the Tragedy, that they'd just taken ill or something on their own, that it wasn't as bad as it looked. But it was as bad as it looked, and I think I knew that.
I wasn't really sure what to do at this point, so I ran back home, told my friend what I'd seen and went to find someone who could help. I found my closest neighbors - Horticulturist Ikel and the Provost - Ikel because I knew them, and Provost, I don't know their name, because they used to be a teacher of some sort on one of the stations, so I thought they might know ships. And then we went back to that ship. I warned them about the smell before we left, and they brought scarves for us to wrap around our faces. I didn't take one. Covering my face wouldn't remove the memory of it, wouldn't clean the smoke from my lungs. I didn't want to go back into there.
But I did anyway, letting the others go ahead of me.
The Provost said I was right to not want to touch that person, and that since they were still in flight-trance and had lost control of their powers they were dangerous. Couldn't touch them without risking a shock. They told Ikel something quietly, and then Ikel explained to that person although I don't think they could hear, that we'd need to get them back into their body before we could move them, and that it might hurt but they'd try not to. They had something that's apparently used in pilot training if someone gets too far out of their body. Something soft with a very insulating handle, I guess? I wasn't really looking at it. Since this wasn't really my area of expertise - well, none of it was my area of expertise, I just was the one who found it - but, I wasn't really looking at what Ikel and the Provost were doing as much as I was looking at the person lying on the controls there. I hadn't really gotten a good look at them the first time so I was doing that now. Their hair was black, but it looked really scorched and was already starting to crumble away at the slightest touch, so I didn't know if their hair was actually black or if it was just all charred. Two arms, three fingers to a hand, nothing unusual about their build except that they were kind of tall. They had dark skin, sort of iridescent, probably would have been very pretty but they had all these cracks or wounds over them. With their power going through those cracks it looked like veins of lava or something ripping open through their skin. Aside from the injuries, they didn't look like anyone in the groups that live in this system, but I don't know where they might have been from. Spacers can look like anything and be from anywhere, you'd literally never know. They had a mask on too, looked like some sort of horned animal. I guess it's a standard pilot thing because it had all these wires from it connecting to the ship, but some of the wires were broken and the mask itself was... melted, in places? I don't know if the spots on the controls were bits that had melted and dripped off of the mask, or just blood, or... something else. One of their hands was still gripping a lever, so tightly that I wondered if we'd be able to get them to let go, or if we'd have to cut the lever off of the control panel. I hadn't brought metal cutters with me, and I don't think Ikel had either, and the Provost isn't the type to even own metal cutters. There was soot and smoke all over the ship, not just on its pilot but there was a lot of it on them, and a big charred burned spot on their back. There were still little wisps of smoke coming off of their body whenever their power sparked into the air and back down to them. Ikel flinched at one point, I think because one of those sparks hit them, and when that happened the pilot sort of... flinched? shuddered? I'm not really sure, but it was a movement, and more almost coordinated than the twitching that was all they'd been doing up until then.
I guess eventually the Provost was able to coax them out of the ship and back into their body, because they stopped sparking and we were able to get them physically out of the ship. I had to pry their hand off of the lever that they were still holding. Would have really preferred someone else to do that but since I'm a sculptor they said I had the most gentle touch... I don't really know about that. They... their hand...
Well. I was able to get it out of their hand, but. A lot of skin came off with it. Most of the skin of their hand.
Anyway, we all carefully lifted them up and carried them out. Not with our hands, of course, just powers. Someone as injured as that, you don't want to touch them more than you absolutely have to. We got them to the settlement and brought them to a medic, and then I went home as soon as I could and slept for about a week to try to get my mind off of everything I'd just seen."
Liran stops, opens their eyes, and looks toward the camera.
"Was that all you wanted?"
They pause for a few moments, reading or listening to something, and then nod.
"I didn't know what had happened there immediately. Or maybe I did, but I sure didn't want to. By the time I woke up, they'd been able to regain consciousness and speak a little. The Provost kept me updated on how they were doing, and what had been learned about them.
And what had happened was that, they'd been in their ship with two others from their fleet, and one of those two had betrayed them, taking advantage of their absence from their body to threaten harm, and forcing them to take their ship here, instead of the space station they'd been heading for. And, I think Provost explained it as, either the fear got to them or they pushed themself too hard and went into overload. Either way, what must have happened is, one of their friends touched them and the other friend at once, and it connected a circuit between all three of them and the ship. With three people's worth of electricity, and the other two not expecting it, it probably killed both of them instantly. That's what those scorch marks on the ship's floor were. So, yeah, it was the Tragedy after all. The betrayal of one in so vulnerable a situation, and the resulting harm... and the death. It's been, what, two centuries since the last time this happened, right? I guess we were all thinking it wouldn't happen again. Just an awful fact for the history books. But, well, we were wrong. It happened again."
Again, Liran looks at the camera for a moment.
"Yeah, I still see them around sometimes. After they were healed enough from their injuries, they got put with some people pretty close by who were willing to take care of them. One of those is someone I know, so I see them a lot and sometimes I show them some of my works. They're completely blind, and their power perception is only slightly better than their sight, so I've made a few smaller versions of my favorite sculptures so they can feel the shapes. They're kind of odd sometimes, but they're nice enough, and I... oh hey."
They look away from the camera recording them, turning around to face someone off-screen. "What're you doing in here?"
Someone behind Liran slowly walks into view of the camera. They're tall, with dark skin shot through with flame-colored scars, and unnaturally white hair, reminiscent of certain paintings depicting an ancient mythical psychopomp. They are wearing a short white skirt, a white cloth covering their eyes, and nothing else.
"Hey, Fivey, what are you doing? This is my house." Liran asks playfully, tapping the other's scarred arm with their prosthetic one. 'Fivey' turns toward them at the touch, seemingly not responding to their words, and then somehow notices the camera, tilting their head as if curiously looking at it.
"Yeah, that's a camera," Liran says. "I'm doing a video interview right now. About you, actually."
They still don't acknowledge the words, instead still seeming to stare at the camera through their blindfold. Then they reach out toward it with one hand, the pinkish burn scars covering their palm and the underside of their fingers coming into crisp focus.
The video feed flickers, becoming slightly warped and separating into its component colors at the edges. The focal point of the video shifts, first from the scarred hand to the scarred face, and then to Liran's face, where it remains even as they collapse.
Liran jumps up and catches them before their head can hit the table. "Damn it... Fifth, I know you like to see, but you gave me too much of a shock right there. Please can you get out of my camera and get back in your body?"
Again, the feed flickers, but this time it becomes less distorted. Fifth pulls their lanky frame back into a standing position, but leaves one hand in Liran's for a bit longer before letting go.
"What was it you wanted here, by the way?" Liran asks.
Fifth still doesn't speak, instead looking around the room. They slowly walk to one end of it, and then collapse out of frame.
Liran laughs softly, picking up the camera and angling it to show Fifth's scarred body lying facedown in a pile of soft-looking pillows. "That was what you came here for? Floor time?"
Finally they speak, mumbling just the word "cold".
"You... were cold?" Liran asks. "Why not just put on some more clothing?"
Fifth replies, voice still muffled by the pillows, and the only word audible is "coords".
"Good point," Liran concedes. "Here, how about I get you a blanket. I've got one that's white, it'll match your blindfold." They then look back at the camera. "Well, I think I've said enough for you to get your scoop, now, haven't I? Plus a glimpse at the Tragedy themself. They don't look like death anymore... now they just look like Death." They laugh a little, amused by their own joke. "Though, they only resemble the reaper in their looks, they've got a pretty sweet personality when you get to know them. Now, I think I'm done here." They gesture toward the camera, fingertips sparking, and the video stops.
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