#which i’ve been intensively studying for lately

[cosmicanakin]

picking up the pieces.

adult content | minors do NOT interact.

pairing. dean winchester x female reader.

outline. a heated argument with dean leads to a vulnerable confession of your long-held feelings.

word count. 1546.

warning(s). angst, arguments, implied sexual tension, mild language, season 1 dean, mature themes (nothing too explicit).

authors note. back with a new fic whaaaat?! i recently started rewatching supernatural to mend my broken heart after the season 15 finale… they deserved so much better & just thinking about it pisses me tf off. anyway i was listening to stairway to heaven for hours on end while writing this (that song is my childhood.) enjoooooy!

You stared out the window of the Impala, watching the roads and scenery fly by as Led Zeppelin played softly in the background. The familiar rumble of the engine and the comfort of the leather seats usually provided a sense of peace, but today all you could feel was tension.

You and Dean had gotten into a nasty argument earlier, one that had been brewing for a while now. It was about his careless flirtation with other women, even when you two weren’t officially exclusive. You couldn’t help the feelings you had harbored for him over the years, feelings that only seemed to grow stronger the more time you spent together on the road. And it hurt to see him so freely give his attention and affection to anyone but you.

You tried to push those thoughts aside, to focus on the music and the drive. But it was impossible to ignore the way Dean kept stealing glances in your direction, the way his hand would occasionally graze your thigh in a move that had become comfortable and familiar between the two of you. Each subtle touch sent a jolt of electricity through your body, a painful reminder of what you couldn’t have.

As the familiar chords of the song played on, you closed your eyes and tried to will yourself to sleep, to escape this tense situation, even if just for a little while. But just as you felt yourself starting to drift off, Dean’s hand suddenly landed firmly on your inner thigh, sending your eyes flying open as your heart raced.

Without a word, Dean pulled the Impala over to the side of the road, putting the car in park before turning to face you. The intensity in his green eyes made your breath catch in your throat, and you found yourself unable to look away.

“We need to talk,” he said, his voice low and serious.

You swallowed hard, every fiber of your being telling you to run, to avoid this conversation at all costs. But you knew it was inevitable, that the tension between the two of you had been building for too long to ignore any longer.

“Okay,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

Dean studied you for a moment, his gaze searching your face for something you couldn’t quite decipher. Finally, he let out a heavy sigh and ran a hand through his short, spiky hair.

“Look, I know things have been...tense between us lately,” he began, his eyes never leaving yours. “And I know a lot of that is my fault.”

You opened your mouth to interrupt, to argue that it was his fault, that his reckless flirting had hurt you more than you cared to admit. But he held up a hand, silencing you.

“Please, just let me say this,” he pleaded. “I’m not good at this whole...feelings thing. You know that. But I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened earlier, and I...” He paused, his brow furrowing as he struggled to find the right words.

“I’m sorry,” he said finally, his voice sincere. “I never meant to hurt you, I swear. It’s just...old habits die hard, you know? And I...” He hesitated, his gaze dropping to his hands, which were fidgeting nervously in his lap. “I guess I was...afraid.”

Your eyes widened in surprise at his confession, and you couldn’t help but lean forward slightly, your curiosity piqued.

“Afraid of what, Dean?” you asked softly.

He let out a humorless chuckle, shaking his head. “Afraid of this,” he said, gesturing vaguely between the two of you. “Afraid of...of letting myself feel something real, something that could actually last.”

Your heart ached at his words, the raw vulnerability in his voice cutting you deeper than any of his careless flirtations ever could. You knew, deep down, that Dean had been through more than his fair share of pain and loss in his life, and the thought of him being afraid to open himself up to you only made you love him more.

“Dean...” you began, your voice trembling slightly. “I...I had no idea.”

He looked up then, his green eyes meeting yours, and you were struck by the raw emotion you saw there. “I know,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “And that’s my fault. I...I’ve been pushing you away, because I’m scared of what this could be. Of what we could be.”

You felt your heart skip a beat at his words, hope and fear warring within you. “What are you saying, Dean?”you asked, fiddling with your thumbs.

He reached out then, his calloused hand coming to rest on your thigh again, his thumb brushing against it in a gentle caress. “I’m saying that...I care about you, more than I’ve ever cared about anyone. And I’m tired of pretending that I don’t.”

You felt your breath catch in your throat, your eyes flooding with tears as the weight of his words settled over you. “Dean, I...I care about you, too. So much,” you whispered, your voice shaking.

A small, tentative smile tugged at the corners of his lips, and he reached up to gently brush a stray tear from your cheek. “I know,” he murmured. “And that’s what scares me the most.”

You nodded, understanding dawning on you. “Because you’re afraid of losing me, too,” you said softly.

He nodded, his hand moving to cup your face, his thumb caressing your cheek. “Yeah,” he breathed. “I’ve already lost so much in my life, Y/N. I don’t think I could handle losing you, too.”

You leaned into his touch, savoring the warmth and comfort of his hand on your skin. “You won't lose me, Dean,” you whispered. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He studied your face for a long moment, his green eyes boring into yours, before slowly leaning in. Your heart raced as his lips brushed against yours, soft and tentative at first, before deepening into a passionate kiss.

When you finally broke apart, you were both breathing heavily, your foreheads resting against each other. “I love you, Y/N,” Dean murmured, his voice barely audible but you heard him clear as day.

“I love you, too, Dean,” you whisper, your fingers tangling in the short strands of his hair.

For a long moment, the two of you simply sat there, lost in each other’s embrace, the tension and pain of earlier melting away. But then, a thought occurred to you, and you pulled back slightly, your brow furrowing.

“What about Sam?” you asked, your voice tinged with concern. “I mean, we’re on our way to pick him up from Stanford, and I don’t want him to feel...I don’t know, awkward or anything.”

Dean chuckled softly, his thumb tracing the curve of your jaw. “Don’t worry about Sammy,” he said, a mischievous glint in his eye. “He’s been rooting for us to get our heads out of our asses for years.”

You couldn't help but laugh at that, the tension in your shoulders finally starting to ease. “I should have known,” you said, shaking your head in amusement.

Dean grinned, pulling you in for another kiss, this one deeper and more passionate than the last. When you finally broke apart, you were both breathless again, your hearts racing.

“So, what does this mean for us?” you asked, your voice soft and uncertain.

Dean's expression turned serious, his hand moving to intertwine with yours. “It means that I’m all in, Y/N,” he said, his voice low and sincere. “No more flirting with other women, no more pushing you away. I want this, us, more than anything.”

You felt your heart swell with emotion, tears of joy threatening to spill over. “Me too, Dean,” you whispered, squeezing his hand gently. “I’m in, too.”

He smiled then, a genuine, warm smile that lit up his entire face, and you couldn't help but lean in and kiss him again, savoring the feeling of his lips on yours, the warmth of his body against yours.

As you pulled apart, Dean’s expression turned mischievous once more. “So, what do you say we give Sammy another day and find us a nice, secluded spot to...celebrate?" he asked wiggling his brows, a hint of suggestiveness in his tone.

You couldn’t help but laugh at what you were hearing, playfully swatting his arm. “Dean Winchester, you are such a hornball,” you teased.

He grinned, his grip on your hand tightening. “Maybe so, but you love me anyway,” he said, his voice filled with a quiet confidence that made your heart flutter.

“That I do,” you murmured, leaning in to kiss him once more.

As the Impala rumbled back to life and Dean guided the car back onto the open road, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of peace and contentment wash over you. The tension and hurt of earlier had been replaced by a deep, abiding love and trust, and you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you and Dean would face them together.

You nestled closer to Dean as he drove, your hand still intertwined with his, and Stairway to Heaven filling the air, you closed your eyes and allowed yourself to bask in the feeling of pure, unadulterated happiness.

#﹙ kari writes 𝜗𝜚 ﹚ #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x female!reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester angst #dean winchester smut #dean winchester fluff #supernatural #sam winchester #spn #dean winchester x y/n #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester one shot #dean x reader #supernatural imagine #supernatural angst #supernatural smut #supernatural fluff #sammy winchester

[leahsgirl]

“yes you idiot.”

— in which leah has planned on proposing to you for a long time - except when that time does come; it all goes awry.

pairings - leah williamson x reader (female)

warnings - none, just minor swearing.

a/n - this is my first shot at writing so it may be horrible i apologise

—

“so once i’ve finished setting everything up I’ll text you and let you know i’m on my wa-“ Leah was mid conversation with Beth and Viv; until you interrupted of course, slotting yourself next to the blonde and matching strides with her as you make your way off the training pitch.

“what are you guys talking about?” you questioned as you observed beth and viv give each other a quick glance.

“nothing baby, I was just asking how myles was adjusting.” Leah replied, reaching out for your hand.

You and Leah have been dating for two and a half years, having officially met playing for the England squad a year prior. While Leah wasn’t your biggest fan to begin with - that soon changed when you made the transfer from manchester united to arsenal, allowing you and the blonde to get closer which then resulted in the two of you starting dating.

“oh my god, you have no idea how excited i’ve been to see him again.”

“i still want to know how you taught him to sit the first time meeting him - he won’t do it for me and Viv.” Beth bewildered.

“what can i say? i’m just the chosen one.” you smirked. “are you sure you can’t come Lee?” Now diverting your attention back to your girlfriend who was sorting out clothes to change into. You and a few of the other girls were going to Beth and Viv’s for a little girls/catch up night, unaware it was actually a set up to keep you out the house while Leah put her plan into action.

“i’ve got to go and help Jacob move stuff out of his apartment y/n or you know i’d be there.” She kissed your cheek.

“definitely just a sore loser because ya’ lost the game last time we went.” Katie piped up, appearing next to the taller girl who in turn gave her a petty slap on the arm.

—

“you’re beautiful.” a voice spoke from the other end of the room, slowly getting closer and wrapping their arms around you from behind as you looked at yourself in the mirror, peppering a few light kisses near your ear.

“and you’re late, weren’t you meant to meet Jacob twenty mins ago?”

Leah shrugged it off. “and miss the chance of admiring my girl. no way.” She planted a quick kiss on your lips, knowing you’d just finished applying your makeup. “besides, he changed the time to seven, i’ve got a good half an hour.”

She plonked herself down on the bed, fiddling with the rings she wore on her fingers. “what you thinking about in that pretty head of yours?” throughout your relationship with leah, you’ve got to know her pretty much inside and out, and if theres one thing you do know; she only messes with her rings when something is bothering her. “hm..nothing, just thinking about us i guess.”

“us?” you pushed, now joining her on the bed. “just like how we’ve ended up here and how thankful i am for you and everything.” the blue-eyed girl turned to look at you, as if she was studying your whole face. “well, i’m very thankful for you too, even if you are a pain in the arse most of the time.” the twenty-six year old faked hurt and annoyance. “but i love you.” you said more sincerely, placing a tender kiss on Leah’s forehead.

“i love you too.”

__

Leah kindly offered to drop you off at Beth and Viv’s which you accepted of course. All of the other girls were already there; Alessia and Lottie were fussing over myles, Katie, Caitlin and Steph was in what seemed like a very intense conversion, Jenn and Lia was messing with different filters on TikTok and Beth & Viv were playing host.

“there she is! y/n come in.” Viv ushered you inside and offered you a drink. You immediately making a beeline for the man of the hour, crouching down preparing to be bombarded by a very excited puppy.

Meanwhile, back at the apartment, Leah had began decorating. Her plan was for you to come home to a nice romantic homemade dinner, where after you share some nice conversation and food - she would pop the question, asking you to be her wife.

She’s had this planned for a good couple of months, having gone out with some of your teammates to acquire the goods and then going ring shopping on one of her few days off. To be honest, she was quite proud of herself she’s managed to keep this a secret from you for all this time.

The blonde started by blowing up some heart shaped balloons, followed by scattering rose petals from the front door all the way to the dining table which had been covered with a white table cloth and taper candles. She was making your favourite dishes for the meal of course; pasta with pesto and finishing with churros.

easier said than done however. “how do i make pasta?” the defender flipped the camera so her mum who was now on facetime can see the ingredients. It was times like this where she wishes she helped with the cooking more around the house. After practically what turned out to be a cooking lesson, Leah took the opportunity to change into something nicer, and less covered in flour.

Making her way around the bedroom, she opened her nightstand drawer, sifting a few things around until she pulled out a small black velvet box. She opened it briefly, checking the ring was okay and preyed to god you would like it.

Taking one final look at her work around the house, she pulled out her phone to text the fellow forward.

to: meado

just finished up back here, i’m gonna start heading to yours now.

As the night died down, your teammates and yourself had all congregated in the living room, spread across the sofa and the floor with some kind of cheesy sitcom that Lia put on playing in the background. Different conversations were going on, you finding yourself in a deep conversation with Jenn and Caitlin.

“Well well, look who finally decided to show her face.” Katie announced, pointing at all too familiar blonde locks. “Hey guys.” You got up and walked over to her planting a kiss on her cheek.

“i thought you had to help your brother?” You ask while absentmindedly rubbing her back. “oh..i did, we just finished so I thought i’d come pick you up.”

“Do you want a drink Leah?” Steph offered, holding up a beer in each hand. “No thanks, we have to get back to the apartment.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Do we?”

“Yes we do, now come on.” She took your hand and tried to pull you to the door. “What’s with the rush? You’re being weird Lee.”

“I’m not - i’m just tired that’s all, i’m ready for bed.” She fake yawned. You sighed, “okay grumpy, just let me say bye to everyone.”

It’s safe to say the car ride home was no better. Leah’s leg was bouncing up and down which isn’t exactly ideal when you’re driving, she was cursing out everyone on the roads and kept messing with her bangs if they moved in the slightest. “Are you sure you’re okay love?”

The blonde turned to look and you and gave a weary smile, lifting your hand to her lips and giving it a gentle peck. “I’m fine I promise.”

Walking up the steps to your shared home, Leah stopped you before opening the door. “Okay I need you to close your eyes and only open them when I tell you.”

Complying, you shut your eyes. “Suspicious Miss Williamson.” You stated as you could hear your girlfriend fiddling with her keys in the door. she wrapped her arm around yours and guided you inside. “Okay you can open them now.” You followed her advice and took in your surroundings, suddenly getting an overwhelming sense of love surge over you. “Surprise.” Leah pulled you over to the candlelit table and pulled out a chair for you, waiting for you to sit down to then tuck you in. “Lee..i’m speechless. What’s all this for?”

“Just doing my girlfriend duties and treating you.” The blonde brought over two dishes to the table and sat herself down opposite you. “Shut up! you made my favourite meal?!” Taking a bite off your fork, your mouth practically waters with how good it tastes. “Oh my god, babe this is incredible.” Deciding to be more romantic, you twirl some of the pasta onto your fork and hold it out for Leah to take which she does.

it was all going really well; it had been long overdue since you and leah had a ‘date’ so to speak. While you loved your job and wouldn’t trade it for the world, it often meant romantic gestures like these were far and few in between.

“Is something burning?” The smell of smoke filling your nostrils as you look at the kitchen.

“Shit shit shit!” Leah was quick to her feet, opening the oven where a surge of grey smoke escaped and pulled out a tray with what were now very burnt churros. “For fuck sake.” The defender whined “Well there goes dessert.”

Joining her behind the kitchen island, you looked at the baking tray. “well..you tried.” half-heartedly joking, you looked at the older girl who now had a pout on her face. “It’s okay Leah, you made a lovely pasta. Besides, i’m sure we have some ice cream or something in the freezer.”

“No you don’t understand, tonight was meant to be perfect.” She ran her hands through her hair in frustration. You knitted your eyebrows together “Okay out with it.” sternly said, crossing your arms.

“Hm?”

“You’ve been on edge all day..you change the conversation when i caught up to you, meado and Viv. You couldn’t come to girls night which you never miss; i know you said you had to help your brother but then he suddenly changes times, you was angsty all the way home and now you’re practically arguing with the oven. So tell me what’s going on.”

Leah motioned for you to sit on the sofa. “Okay this isn’t how I wanted it to go down but-“ She took a deep breath. “Y/n, as you know i’m not really big on talking about my feelings, but the past three years have been the happiest of my life. you make me excited for the next day to come, you always push me, you stuck with me during my lowest, especially during my acl recovery, you just make me a better person.”

She takes your hand in hers, caressing your skin with her thumb and looks you directly in the eyes which at this point were working hard to not well up. “I guess what i’m trying to say is-“ She reaches into her pants pocket pulling out the familiar black velvet box. “-Will you marry me?”

As she says those four words, she opens the box and looks down at it, doing a double take as she sees its empty - the ring no where to be seen. “What the fuck, where’s the pissing ring.” Colour is draining from her face at this point as she stands up and frantically starts pacing. “You’ve got to be shitting me, the one day i need things to go smoothly.”

“Do you mean this ring?” You held up a ring with an oval diamond at the centre of it. Leah looked dumbfounded “How-how did you-“ The blonde was at a loss for words.

“Lee you dropped it twice during dinner - i even passed it to you once.” You giggled as you passed her the ring back “Did you?”

“See, you’ve been so uptight you didn’t even realise.” Standing up, you wrapped your arms around her neck, moving closer so that your faces were inches apart. “But my answer is yes.” you say barely above a whisper.

“yes?” at this point you thought you’d broke your poor girlfriend. “Yes i’ll marry you idiot.” Pressing your lips onto hers, you emerged yourselves into a deep kiss filled with passion.

Your now fiancé slipped the ring into your finger, admiring the ring and then you. She picked you up, twirling you around out of pure happiness and relief.

“Now how about dessert?” You winked and tugged her towards the bedroom.

liked by lucybronze and 2,086,773 others

leahwilliamson introducing future mrs williamson

usera SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

chloekelly congratulations ❤️

userb y/n on that wag life

youruser whose to say it’s not gonna be ‘leah y/l/n’

leahwilliamson replying to youruser y/n williamson just sounds better

kierawalsh congrats lovebirds 😄❤️

liked by alessiarusso and 1,887,201 others

youruser imagine i said no

ellatoone 😍❤️

userc Y/N’s GETTING MARRIED IM DOING ROLYPOLYS

1maryearps congrats kiddo!

userd please the difference in her and leah’s captions

jodiemcomer so happy for you y/n, congrats X

#leah williamson x reader #lionesses #arsenal wfc #leah williamson #y/n #proposal #england lionesses #beth mead #instagram #man united wfc #arsenal women

[aemonds-sapphire]

Inexperience

Summary: You have often wondered how it feels to pleasure a man, so you take it up with Aemond.

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader

Warnings: NSFW. Inexperienced reader. Friends to lovers (if you squint). Handjob. Masturbation.

Word count: 2k

Part II

“You’re doing it again.”

Aemond’s velvety voice snapped you from your intrusive thoughts state at once.

Inwardly scolding yourself, you shifted your attention back to the embroidery in your hands.

You weren’t being exceptionally subtle when it came to staring at him.

And Aemond’s observational skills were far too perfected for your own good.

“I apologise,” you said quietly.

Even from the corner of your eye you could see an intriguing smile on his lips as he lifted his eye from the book. “As you wish, my lady.”

You felt a rush of heat pool in your face. Even after years of growing up with Prince Aemond and tearing down any walls that were built from the unavoidable hierarchical imbalance, he would always know how to get under your skin.

The two of you would spend long hours in the fireplace room after supper, enjoying the calmness and silence. You’d be entertained with your embroideries while Aemond took his time diving into history and philosophy books.

A very intriguing young man he was.

In fact, he was just as intriguing as he was perceptive, which was why it didn’t surprise you that he had caught on to you occasionally glaring at him.

Not just him.

His body.

Quite frankly, the burning curiosity inside you begged you to just ask. It could be considered improper, but your mind kept wondering how.

How did he do it?

How did it feel like?

What was the worst that could happen should you ask these questions?

The matter of intimacy was all but known to both of you. He’d often invade your dreams with kisses and moans, but you didn’t dare reveal any of that to him. Sometimes, when about to doze off, you’d wonder whether it was reciprocal.

Not that it mattered. Your father would one day marry you off to some lord in some decaying castle never to cross paths with Aemond Targaryen ever again.

So you might as well ask and it was apparent that your body language betrayed your forced calm demeanour as it was enough to get his attention.

“Why are you so tense?”

You jolted in your seat, nearly jabbing the needle in your finger. “I am not tense at all,” you offered a smile.

“Lying is very unbecoming of you,” he said, flipping through a couple of pages. “Whatever is on your mind, you can share with me.”

You straightened in your seat, lowering your faze to the flowers you were carefully threading with your needle. Given the current circumstances, embroidery seemed far more inviting in comparison with having to deal with a suspicious Aemond.

“Take your time,” he said, not tearing his eye from the book and drumming his fingers on the padded armrest.

“I… it is nothing, Aemond.”

If you thought that was enough to shake him off, you were dead wrong. Instead, Aemond heaved a deep sigh and closed the book on his lap, staring intensely at you.

You tried your best to ignore his penetrating glare, but all to no avail.

“Do you take me for a fool?” he asked, but there no hint of annoyance in his voice.

If anything, he seemed deeply amused.

“What do you—”

Aemond interrupted you at once. “I’ve noticed the way you’ve been staring at me as of late.”

You looked at him wide-eyed. “Staring?”

“Subtlety isn’t your strongest suit.”

His eye was studying your every move and you had to be the inside of your cheek in frustration. More at yourself than at him, if you were being honest. You knew he wasn’t who was easily fooled, but you had also not expected that all the glaring had become that noticeable.

“It is nothing,” you said, feeling droplets of sweat coating the pads of your fingers, staining the coloured thread.

“You keep staring at my hands. Why?”

He had beautiful hands, indeed.

“For no reason.”

“Lie to me one more time and I will not have you riding Vhagar with me again.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “You wouldn’t dare.”

He clicked his tongue. “Do not try me.”

Your heart clenched as your felt trapped. “It’s nothing much,” you lowered your voice and glanced around to make sure no unwanted visitors were present. I was just wondering how it feels when you... uh... when you... do it.”

Aemond’s eyebrow arched. “Do... what?”

You weren’t sure if he was genuinely unaware of the implication, or if he was just pretending in order to get you riled up. However, were willing to bet on the latter.

“Hmm... you know...” you said, feeling your face burn hot from embarrassment. “How does it feel when you… hmm… pleasure yourself,” you finally managed to get the words out but quickly added, “Just curious… because… hmmm… just curious and—”

You cut yourself off, realising you were now rambling.

Tense moments ticked by and you noticed Aemond Targaryen was visibly amused. “Is this your subtle way of asking me to touch myself in front of you?”

Panic immediately hit you hard. “Of course not! Why would I want to see that? How — how is that—what? — I was merely wondering.”

He placed the heavy book on the table by his side, as his lips curled into a smile. “I wouldn’t mind it.”

You shot him a death glare. “If you don’t want to tell me just say that.”

“I do not indulge in such depravities.”

“Lies,” you threw at him in disbelief. “I do not believe you.”

“Lies? Well, it does take one to know one, I reckon.”

You bit the inside of your cheek once at the remark regarding your earlier failed attempt at deception.

“There is no need to get tense,” Aemond said, standing up to take a seat in the nearby velvet-padded settee.

“I’m really not.”

“We all have urges, I suppose,” he then shrugged, staring at his own hands. “I have never done this with someone else. It could be… interesting.”

“You could simply tell me how it feels or how you do it,” you said, mouth turning dry. “Besides, we would not be doing anything here.”

“Why tell you when I can show you?”

He could not be serious…

“The doors are closed,” he said, extending one hand to you. “No one comes here this late at nigh. Come here.”

Your feet brought you to him before you could even process what was happening. “I was having a serious conversation and you’re now talking about your… your…” you pointed at his crotch as you say by his side.

This time he arched an eyebrow at you. “I’m afraid I don’t follow. Weren’t you the one who wanted to know how it feels like?”

Point taken. “Yes, but—”

“So what do you want me to talk about?” Aemond asked, lips turning into a devious grin.

“You are being vulgar.”

“You started this conversation, my lady,” he pointed out. “You’re the one who’s being vulgar.”

There was no way around it. You were definitely making things worse for yourself. This had started off innocently enough, but he was easily bending the conversation to his will.

You decided to ignore his remark and had your eyes on the lit fireplace in front of you, determined to enjoy the way the flames danced around and burned through the wood.

But Aemond was relentless.

“I can show you.”

Your heart skipped a beat. You awaited for him to quickly take that back as a joke, but that moment never came.

He was dead serious.

“No, thank you,” you breathed, still not daring to look at him.

In all honesty, you wouldn’t mind taking a peak, but you couldn’t just admit to that. What if it made things awkward between you? What if you had crossed a line you weren’t sure you could go back from?

You kept your eyes firmly locked on cackling fire, but you could feel him shift beside you. It was probably a bad idea to dart your eyes to the side to watch as his legs lazily sprawled out from the settee, with and one hand resting on his belt.

You jolted when you saw him extend his hand to you. “You may touch it.”

This was definitely not what you had in mind. “Uh...”

He chuckled briefly. “It is my hand, not my cock.”

Your chin nearly dropped at his crass words and you frowned. “It’s simply genuine curiosity.”

He chuckled. “And I’m here willing to satisfy that curiosity. We have shared a friendship for many years,” he said, voiced coated in tones of warm honey. “If you are to learn about such things, I’d rather be the one enlightening you.”

It was such an unexpected and truthful statement, you felt your heart soar.

But as satisfying as it was to hear such words from him, you still had a shred of dignity left. “What if someone comes in?” you hissed in a low voice, eyes roaming across the room.

“We can be discreet,” he said. “Have you forgotten the many times we hid under beds after raiding the kitchen? No one would ever find us and those apples tasted ten times better.”

The memories of your shared youth tugged gently at your heartstrings.

“But we’re not hiding.”

Aemond brought a finger to trace the back of your hand. ���We don’t have to. Not anymore.”

You swallowed hard hand watched as he offered you his hand at first. Without failt, your heartbeat sped up instantly, but you did your best to ignore it as you inspected his hand. His palm was turned upwards, giving you access to his warm skin.

“Can I...?”

Aemond had his head on the backrest, half-hooded eye still on you. “Yes.”

Holding the back of his hand in yours, you let your index finger slowly drag across it.

You could have sworn you heard the faintest sound come from him.

His skin felt really warm to the touch, nearly

“Is this alright?” you asked, halting briefly and studying his face.

“Carry on.”

But then something else in your field of vision caught your attention.

The hand he had resting on his belt drew you to look a bit further down and—

“Aemond?” your sudden gasp had him staring at you. “How are you...”

He bent his neck to stare down at the bulge in his pants. “I have no control over it.”

You wanted to be outraged, but this made you feel empowered and did wonders to your ego. You wanted to let go of his hand and be done with... whatever this was.

But you didn’t dare break contact with him.

If anything, the grip on his hand only intensified.

“Keep going… I can get harder than this.”

Gods. His hoarse voice immediately caused your thumb to resume the soft strokes along the palm of his hand.

The tension in the room was palpable, and you were no longer bothered in concealing how much your body craved more of him.

And just like Aemond had promised, you were able to see his cock growing harder and even twitching slightly each time you applied a certain amount of pressure on his skin.

Your breath was coming out in shallow pants.

You wanted more.

No.

You needed more.

Apparently, the feeling was mutual as he had his fingers on the buckle of his belt, tugging on it. The sight had your mouth watering. The not so subtle bulge was clearly making him uncomfortable in a way and in eye you detected undeniable lust.

You couldn’t help but shift closer to him, and the motion triggered him into undoing his belt. Once he got it out of the way, he unbuttoned his pants.

He heaved a deep sigh of relief at sudden relief of tension.

“Maybe we should stop?”

“Do you want to?” he asked, gently fiddling with the waistband of his pants.

No. “It’s just... what if someone—”

“You keep sabotaging yourself,” he groaned in exasperation.

“But... if someone comes in...”

He growled. “I will behead them.”

Your eyes widened in sudden horror.

“I am not being serious,” he finally added, offering you a grin. “Just enjoy this.”

In one switft motion, he pulled the fabric down, freeing his hard cock.

“Oh...”

You had never seen one before. It looked intimidating and you tried to do something other than just glare, but you couldn’t quite believe in what was happening just yet.

“Such a pretty mouth...” he observed as his eye dropped to your lips and wrapping his fingers around himself.

Your clit was pulsing as your walls clenched and pushed out more and more wetness to coat your folds.

Aemond started pumping his cock in a lazy rhythm, eye fully locked with yours. You saw a few beads of a clear liquid pooling around the tip.

“Keep touching me…”

“I... I...” you sounded like a fish out of water.

He tightened the grip on his cock, forcing more of the liquid to come out. That’s when it started sliding down and onto his knuckles.

“Keep going…”

It was clear he was getting impatient and the strain in his voice hit your brain, causing you to straighten before bringing the palm of his hand to your lips.

You made sure he kept his eye on you when you started pressing soft kisses to each finger.

“Good...” he praised and encouraged, bringing the palm of his other hand to rub on the tip of his cock.

He had his wetness smeared across his skin and you kept on kissing him until he dragged his hand down to pump his cock once again.

“Let me feel you,” he panted, squeezing himself tighter. “I want to feel you.”

You presse one last kiss to the palm of his hand. “What?”

It was his turn to grip your hand. “Let me fuck your hand.”

Oh… Gods…

You felt a load of wetness leak from you it’d be a miracle if you managed to somehow finish this without having your own dress completely soaked.

He guided you down to his crotch, letting go of his cock only to have your own hand wrapping around him, drawing a beautiful hiss from him.

The sudden urge to kiss him took over your senses, and just as the thought flooded your mind your body promptly acted in it, and you crashed your lips onto his.

He was definitely caught by surprised, but had no problem reciprocating the same hunger and lust you felt for him by having his tongue against yours.

You allowed him to guide your hand up and down his cock with his own, feeling his grip increase. He set up a very slow rhythm as if making the most out of this moment.

“Tighter...” he moaned in between a sloppy kiss.

Your fingers promptly squeezed around him. He had been leaking so much that it didn’t take long before your own hand was drenched in his wetness.

It was hard to focus on his cock when he was completely robbing you of air, refusing to break the kiss.

When he finally let go of your lips, you saw him staring down at his cock fucking your hand. You could feel his breath come out in pants when he started lifting his hips to set a new tempo.

“Is… is this how you do it?” you said innocently.

Aemond’s eye closed shut and that was the best reply he could have given you.

You absentmindedly brought your free hand to roam under your dress and to your undergarments. Your wetness was sipping through the fabric, your pussy clenching at the thought of one day having him take your maidenhead.

You didn’t even notice that he had undone his coat and lifted his shirt, exposing his abdomen as it flexed with each snap of his hips, a sheer coat of sweat forming as he sped up.

“Are you tighter than this?” he groaned.

How could someone be this… alluring?

He kissed you again, his hand gripping yours tighter once again.

But you needed more of him.

You pushed him away for a moment so you could swing one leg over his waist, effectively sitting on his crotch. Lifting your dress, you revealed your soaked undergarments. Aemond was shamelessly glaring at the stain that was spreading across the fabric.

“Be quiet,” you told him, squeezing his cock as a warning.

“I said nothing,” he said with a knowing smile.

You needed the friction on your clit and this new position would grant you that. With each thrust from him, your clit was being pressed gently, and you couldn’t help the deep moan that slipled through your mouth.

Aemond finally let go of his grip in you and brought both hands to frame your face, once again draining your lungs from air as he pulled you into a scorching kiss.

You never thought you’d be this close to release, but that was the least of your concerns. You wanted to watch that beautiful man unravel before your eyes.

He kept on thrusting into your hand, and when he pulled away you knew he was close. You took some time to admire how his beautiful face twisted in pleasure, mouth parted into laboured gasps.

“Faster...” he urged you and you were more to glad to oblige.

You were now familiar with what made him groan deeper, gasp louder, and roll his hips higher. It took him only a few more moments before his thrusts started faltering, and he had to bite the back of his hand to keep himself from groaning out loud as hot spurts of cum started shooting against your undergarments. You shuddered as the head of his cock pressed into your clit and his warm released sipped into the fabric.

You tumbled forward to rest your head against his shoulder, not even concerned about the mess.

“That was…” he let out, chest heaving rapidly.

“Can we do this again?”

You felt his chest rumble into yours. “Give me some time to recover… you just emptied me…”

-

Part II

#aemond targaryen x reader #aemond smut #aemond x you #aemond x reader #hotd smut

[undercoverpena]

10. cranberry cocktail

frankie morales x f!reader | chapter ten of do me yourself

summary: a meet-cute in a hardware store? impossible, out of the question. except, that's exactly what happens. a need for screws leads you to a broad-shouldered, brown-eyed man who you're sure is about to change your day, never mind your life.

wordcount: 3k chapter warnings: SMUT. 18+. jo's bad use and knowledge of DIY. frankie calls you 'rainy' (paint-related from chp.1) no other descriptions or name used. no use of y/n. an: this one is called jo made herself horny. see author note at the end.

prev chapter | series masterlist

It’s difficult not to smile as you approach.

His voice, mid-singing—almost competing with the radio that lingers under his voice—had been travelling out as you walked up to the building. Louder when you pulled open the door, sliding the sunglasses from your face.

A few blinks and your eyes capture his, singing dying out, leaving the original artist blaring around in the background.

Still, you're unable to stifle the smile. Not as you walk closer or as he puts down the tool in hand; least of all when you realise he's looking only half as abashed as you would be if he caught you mid-rendition, watching him dial down the volume on the radio as the door closes behind you.

Frankie had shown you this place once before. Your voice, light, teasing, hand in his: “You’re showing me where the magic happens?”

“I’ve shown you where that happens.”

“Not that magic—or, well, I hope you’re not about to tell me there are even more videos on a different site I need to watch. I’ve been forced to rewatch things lately.”

He’d explained, with a soft smile and a twinkle in his eye, how he’d turned the garage into a workshop. The hours, the pieces he’d started with and the things he’s managed to build, find or bargain for along the way. Even lingered his thumb over the height chart for Luca, the one he told you he began when he first bought the run-down house he made a home.

It was impressive then, but you hadn’t appreciated it as much as you do stepping in today.

You'd been too busy then, watching, studying him. Spotting the way he trailed his thumb across his bottom lip, eyes widening as they tried to smile before his lips as he pointed out highlights he knew you’d have seen from certain videos you’d mentioned.

Now, it's all lit by soft, mid-morning sunlight, looking homely, loved, worn in and appreciated—everything you’d expect from him.

Even if things are out, such as plasterboard and wood leaning against odd edges, everything else has a place. Just like the scent that wanders around and flows as if there’s a constant candle burning, one which includes notes of freshly applied paint, the essence of sawdust and leather. A blended aroma that subtlety clings to his clothes—and then lingers inside your own. A thing which brings comfort, until it seeps in sadness upon the realisation that it's faded from a sweater, bedsheets or your throw after a few days of not seeing him in person.

"Hi, handsome."

He grins, a hello escaping out as his knuckle tips your chin up, your smile back presses to his mouth. Tasting his lips, how they’re tinged with coffee. Frankie planting it more intently as your hands find their way around his waist, heightening it, fingers grasping your cheek.

You swear you could kiss him forever. A thought you know you have continuously, almost every time his mouth finds yours. But you mean it.

Completely. Utterly.

Your palms sliding around, fingers brushing over dry, hard paint specks buried into the soft, beloved cotton of his tee.

“So,” you say when you pull away, teeth biting your lip—finding yourself staring at him, as though his face alone answers everything.

In some ways, you're adamant it does. In others, you know it will.

A feeling that thrums more and more intensely as weeks rack up into months, as your heart flutters in your chest when his eyes hold yours for a second longer than normal.

“What has prompted this little requested visit?”

Grinning, he traces his thumb along your jaw. “Thought you could drill some holes—for your cupboards?”

Smirking, dragging your tongue in a sweeping motion across your lip, you tap your fingers on his waist. “Drill, ay? I didn’t… exactly come dressed to be in your workshop.”

“Wait,” he says, eyes widening, mouth pulled into a line as he brushes his fingers down the fabric of your summer dress that rests along your collarbone. “This isn’t an everyday DIY outfit?”

Grinning, you nudge into him, head shaking—hand grasping a handful of his tee. “No.”

“Don’t worry,” he says, voice dropping, charm encasing each letter as his hands find a home on your hips, “I’ll make sure you don’t get messy.”

A soft laugh escapes you, feeling the way his thumb continues its gentle circling on your cheekbone.

“You on cleanup duty, then?” you reply, the words muffled against his lips. He hums in response, a sound of agreement that sends a pleasant shiver down your spine.

Without pulling away, he gently guides you towards the bench—hands on your side as his chin rests on your shoulder.

One glance at him, and he offers you a comforting smile. Before it comes over him, that voice—the one from the videos. All lightly, but sternly instructing you. Talking you through the steps, before he tells you to pick up the black and orange drill from in front of you.

A lick of warmth slides up your spine, a soft whimper escaping your lips as you press closer to him, your body beginning to buzz from the way he’s pressed against you—his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your waist.

“We’re going to begin with drilling the holes for the handles.”

Rolling your lips, you rest your head against his. “Okay.”

“What you’re gonna do is lightly ease the drill in.”

“Is that so?”

Clearing his throat, you swear you hear your name, it followed quickly by a “Stop.”

“Stop what, Frankie?”

It’s a grunt. A thing buried in his throat before he takes a measured sigh. His hand rises, gripping the top of the power tool before lining the drill bit with the marked wood.

“Being a tease—now, lightly pull the trigger.”

Blanking your face, staring at him with confusion. “So, push it in and out?”

You watch it hit him—slowly. It washes over him in a few blinks, your hips wiggling against his before he groans again. “You’re killing me.”

“I’m very innocent, Morales.”

“Mierda. You’re the opposite of innocent. And no, it’s straight down. Not in and out—we’re not… we’re not fucking it.”

Giggling, you bite the inside of your cheek, adjusting your stance as you swear his groin pushes into your ass on purpose. Finding a way to mumble an okay, you shift your shoulders in preparation. Asking, finger hovering over the trigger of the drill, if you squeeze it lightly as you feel him nod.

Swallowing, you give it a test. A little click. Hearing it, before you see thin crinkles of wood coming away from the pressure.

“Like that?”

Somehow, all beyond you, you manage to keep your voice steady. It all unwilling to tremble—even though his breath is dancing over your neck. Even though his hold on your hip is tightening.

Then there’s the heat pulsating through your dress—the warmth settling into your bones, skin and muscle from his touch. Your body remembering, recalling—able to know just from his presence what he can do, what he has done, how he can unravel you and make you become a mess all from his fingers, mouth and—

“Bit more pressure this time, baby.”

“You can’t say that.”

Snorting, the air dances over your skin as you swear you feel him smirk. “Oh, Rainy. I can.”

You swear his voice drops an octave.

Sweeping the words over you, making your body tense, muscles twisting in on themselves as you try to focus on the drill in your hand. Stare down at the piece of wood he’s set up for you until it’s a blur. Nodding. Finger over the button, knowing you just need to squeeze—

Perfect, he whispers.

And fuck it makes your thighs press together. Makes something rumble inside of you at the same time as the drill fires to life.

The noise is all loud, alarming—deafening. A hole deepening in the wood.

“That's it, just like that. Perfecto, hermosa.”

Even with how loud it is, you can only hear him.

How he layers so much emphasis on the P, the letter is still skating over your skin by the time the rest that follows it has left his tongue.

You can only swallow. Remaining aware, and yet focused in, on how his hand slides down, fingers teasing the end of your dress—a quickly thrown-on thing, an easy option that meant you could arrive here sooner.

“You’re perfect,” he says, kissing it against your neck as his hand slides under your dress, palm flat to your thigh, dragging it up, and up.

Some part of you, all distant, feels him take the drill, hears a click, before it’s out of sight, out of fucking mind.

Then it’s just thick fingers you focus on, how they slide, rub, torture over your underwear—feeling like minutes, hours, days before he manoeuvres. Before he’s forcing elastic to cut into your skin, before you feel him trace along the places you need him desperately.

“Frankie…”

He drags his nose against the side of your face, feeling the exhale flutter against your jaw before he makes you gasp before it grows into a shameless whine.

“This not what you wanted?”

Swallowing, your eyelids quiver. Some part of you, a present part of you that isn’t lost in the way he’s stroking up and down your slick folds, occasionally catching your clit, that he isn’t going to let you come like this.

Even if he's told you he likes the way you sound, has confessed that he likes watching you unravel; his favourite pastime, his favourite movie and soundtrack.

“Need to hear you, Rainy?”

“Want you,” you pant, breathless.

He fans hot breath on your skin. “Want me to fuck you here, baby? On my bench. Hmm?”

You’re fluttering, desperately to squeeze him—fingers or cock, you’re not in a frame of mind to be fussy.

Mind changing, singing, practically bellowing: please, please, fucking, please. Body thrumming, vibrating, legs desperate to shake—if not for the fact they’re keeping you upright. Your fingers find a place on his bench, digging, barely making a mark against the rest on his workbench. But it’s stable, rigid.

“Tell me, baby,” he says, softer, dripping it into your ear like honey—all encased in air that seeps inside of you and makes you forced to chase his lips.

It’s against them you say please. Kissing a y, an e and a s against his mouth, licking past his teeth, hips rocking into his fingers as he circles and circles and circles—

Then, nothing.

Retraction, emptiness. A desperate whine emerges, rising from the back of your throat until it fuses with the air.

An explanation almost demanded, but his belt buckle undoing silences you. His clothed cock presses against you, feeling how hard he is, the size of him making you clench your thighs as cool air kisses the back of your legs when he grabs a fist full of your dress.

“Gonna get rid of these.”

It’s deft, his finger—hooking in the band of your panties as he drags the soaked fabric down your thighs, letting it fall the rest of the way as the fabric finds a home around your ankles. For a moment they just remain there, not entirely confident you can step out of them until he holds you steady, talks you through it:

One foot, then the other. That's it, baby.

Because your body is on auto-pilot, doing things for you, for him. Like parting your thighs as his hand rests on your back as he softly urges you down. Your forearms find the bench, hingeing at the waist, lying your chest flat on his bench, sawdust filling your nose and stitching itself into the upper part of your dress as you turn your head, flakes sticking to your cheek.

And for a moment, an expanse of time, you forget how to breathe, how to be, where you are as you stare at him.

This man, this person who one day you didn’t know and the next you did—is now yours, all yours. Mine, he’d said in bedsheets after the conversation in the kitchen. Like that you’re mine, Rainy. A man you trust, like, lov—

Frankie, who is all handsome, broad and fucking kind, is now looking at you as if you’re the only thing he’s ever wanted to devour in his life. Do it, you silently plead, beg, metaphorically getting on your knees as he washes you in almond-brown eyes.

He’s a sight you couldn’t have ever made up, least of all this one. Fingers, thick—one wrapped in a bandaid—pulling down on the brim of his hat, hiding his eyes, casting half of him in a shadow that makes you almost moan. There’s just the tip of his nose, just his mouth on show, lips spread and curled into a smirk as he lines his cock at your entrance.

You sure? He asks, fingers brushing over your hip, keeping the fabric back, as you smile, nod, and whisper for him to make you feel good before he eases the head of his cock in. It's then your mouth parts around a silent cry of his name, pussy welcoming each inch of him, opening, as you let him slide all he wants to give.

“Know you can take me,” he hushes, “I’m good at measurements, calculations—“

“Fuck.”

“Fuck, you like that.”

Whining his name, he smirks. Because both the feel of him and the act is something you couldn’t have ever concocted. Fuck, a year ago you wouldn’t believe the person you are either. Not this confident being almost laid down on his workbench, feeling this good, this attractive, all bold—asking for this, for what you want. No flicker of shyness or nervousness.

Then there’s him. A sight your mind is struggling to process. Frankie with his teeth glistening with spit as he stares down at you, as he sweeps that burning gaze over you and grunts at the feel of you. One hand, large, slightly calloused, finding meaning on your waist, the other holding your dress up your spine, pressing down, light, but firm—don’t move, baby, stay still.

As if you ever would.

The stretch is welcomed, a dull ache answered, all buried to the hilt. Remaining there, still.

“Move, please—fuck, Frankie, I beg of you.”

He chuckles. A low laugh.

But he does, pulling out before driving back in, making your vision swim, blur. It all overwhelming. Both the sensation and everything else—scents, sounds and touch. His hips slowly moving, his belt buckle clanging and it’s easier to find yourself draped over the bench, cheeks on the wood, inhaling it—the scent that lives in his clothes, in his fingers and aura.

Frankie, just Frankie. Your Frankie—

“So g—fuck—good for me.”

Your fingers dig, grasp—his cock kissing that spot inside of you that forces your toes to curl in your shoes, your mouth managing half of his name before it fades to a moan. All breathy, doused in whimpers and yes’s falling in a verse that leads to a chorus.

“Feel so—oh, good, Frankie.”

“Yeah?”

“Perfect. Feel perfect.”

He moans—low, tinged in a grunt, a hiss, your name etched somewhere in the sound—as he pulls almost all the way out, drawn out, an emptiness beginning to register before he thrusts in. Somehow deeper, somehow filling you more perfectly as you squeeze your grip on the bench.

And you’re close, all light and boneless—but heavy and alive, so alive you feel like fire courses in your veins and you could become more flame than a person.

“Come for me, baby. Right on my bench—fuck, you feel good, so tight—need y’to come. Right here.”

And it crashes against you, all of it. Suddenly unable to smell a thing, hear a thing—you just feel. Feel the sensation of just him and the tip of him hitting that spot which makes you arch as pleasure, all blinding and molten lava rushes through your blood, and flows into your muscles.

All numb and yet tingly.

It takes a moment, but your senses come back one by one, panting, breathless—muscles tired and depleted—as you feel his hips stuttering, the strained noises from behind forcing your eyes open.

He’s a picture, a work of art—a statue that should be carved by someone with talent. Sun streaks in and basks him in a golden hue, illuminating that heart patch on his jaw—the way his tongue is pinned between pearly white teeth, and the vein in his neck throbs angrily as he reaches his own climax.

You clench, aware of it, ogling and admiring pushing him over the edge as he curses, tensing, rigid, pace lost as he spills inside of you, happily taking it all, wishing to wring him dry and ensure he’s empty. Greedy, desperate and fucking needy.

Before his body finds refuge on top of yours, heart hammering against your spine—hat falling, tumbling off onto the floor as the two of you catch your breaths. His hand finds your cheek, stroking his thumb against it.

“Never… I’ve never done that before.”

Smiling, you gaze at him as best as you can. “I like how you drill,” you say, playfully, feeling his laugh rumble through him before he kisses your hairline.

It’s light—perfect.

Feeling the laugh bounce from bone to bone inside of you before he turns and eases you up, chest to chest, murmuring against your lips about a shower, about cleaning you up. And you keep smiling, even more so when he checks your chin and cheek, the pad of his thumb tracing over and over.

“You promised me I wouldn’t get messy.”

Thumb pausing on your cheek, he smirks. “I can clean you up, baby?”

Smirking, you shake your head, heat flooding your cheeks. “How are you planning on doing that?”

He tilts his head, before slowly grasping the bench, descending to his knees. Your mouth unable to stop itself from falling open, all wide, surprised as he presses a kiss to your knee.

“Might want to hold onto something, baby,” he says, writing it against your inner thigh. “Might take me a minute to make sure you’re all cleaned up.”

NEXT CHAPTER ->

an: while we still have some more chapters of these two, I've been experimenting with a few things and while it won't have any bearing on the main series, there will be some smutty-one-shots that can be read as and when, and if so people wish. they won't require reading of the series, but rather allow anyone to enjoy two people who are becoming comfortable with one another, exploring a few different things. i'm not sure on when the first will be out, but it won't replace normal uploads for them. but rather just be small little things i'd love to include but would feel shoe-horned into my plan. also if there's anything you'd love a bit more of, whether it's a bit more on rainy/frankie or their relationship, my inbox is always open. thank you for letting these pair into your heart.

#frankie morales x reader #francisco morales x reader #frankie morales x reader smut #frankie morales x f!reader #frankie morales smut #francisco morales smut #frankie morales x you #frankie morales #triple frontier x reader #francisco morales fanfiction #triple frontier fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #francisco catfish morales x reader #catfish morales x reader #pedrostories #jo: dmy #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal character fanfiction

[heyjwi]

study session | pjs

synopsis: your getting tutored by the smartest boy in your class but it seems he has feelings for you which he can’t hide.

_________________________________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

dom!jisung x fem!reader

warnings: smut, rough public sex, shy-ish jisung, oneshot.

the library was empty since everyone had left school for the day. you and jisung had extra study sessions since you were lacking in science and since he was the top student, he was assigned to help you study. jisung looked around nervously and whispered quietly "i’ve never been here so late before" his voice sounded shaky due to nerves. his cheeks were a rosy colour, his eyes never meeting yours that stared beside him.

you couldn’t help but chuckle at his nervousness.

“are you afraid of being alone with me?���, you mumbled, turning to face the books infront of you. jisung cleared his throat, ignoring the weird thoughts that suddenly popped up in his head.

after a few seconds of him reading a long question, jisung looked up because of the odd silence from your end. once his head turned, your lips were inches away from each other and he found himself unable to move or speak. all he could do was stare straight ahead while feeling incredibly flustered.

he hesitantly pressed a kiss onto your lips after contemplating for a what felt like an hour in your head. he enjoyed every second of feeling your lips against his, but didn't want to admit it to himself yet.

you two made out which eventually led to you moving to sit on top of his lap, lips still attached. jisung groaned in shock and surprise as you straddled his lap. his heart was racing even faster than before, pounding so hard in his chest that he was surprised it didn't explode. jisungs entire body seemed to burn with a need to touch and hold you, and he reached around your back to pull you even closer than you already were.

as you pulled away, you chuckled at how wonky his glasses were due to how tough the kiss you shared was. jisung removed his glasses and grinned at you, he pulled you close again, his hands roaming across your body and his lips crashing down on yours. it was a rough kiss, but still full of passion and intensity.

starting to feel an unfamiliar warmness surrounding the room, you slowly rocked onto his lap, a hard feeling rubbing onto your thigh in the process. his hands found their way to your hips and squeezed them tightly, pulling you closer to him. jisungs head fell back as a loud, deep groan slipped from his lips.

he felt your warmth against his growing erection, and he wasted no time in pulling down his pants. he wrapped his hand around himself, his thumb going back and forth against the sensitive tip. jisung knew that he wasn't going to last much longer, and he couldn't help but place one hand under your skirt, rubbing the wet patch on your underwear.

his breath caught in his throat when he heard your breathless moans. the sound sent shivers through his entire body, and he started moving his hands faster. jisung needed to release, and he needed it now. his hair stick to his forehead as he stared deeply into your eyes before speaking. "i’m gonna cum..."

jisungs words sounded like whispers in your ears, you only focused on his fingers touching your wet cunt, ignoring how your moans echoed throughout the library. when he realised how close he was, jisung quickly pushed you off of him and onto your knees. he grabbed your head with both hands and forced your face towards his crotch.

noticing how sweaty and shaky he was, you opened your mouth, ready to receive him. he moaned your name as his release spilled over your lips and into your mouth. you felt his cum dripping down your lips as well as your own release slipping out of you. jisung was groaning loudly, as his knees started to shake while he pushed himself into your mouth.

you sucked him off, trying to satisfy him ever further. feeling your lips around his cock caused him to shiver even more, jisungs body rocked forward, one hand gripping the table, the other holding your hair tightly.

“fuck.. i cant t-take it..” , he choked out, feeling himself release once more, shooting it down your throat. you looked up at him and swallowed, chuckling at his weak state. you stood up and wiped your lips, sitting down on the table behind you.

jisung was out of breath but looked up at you through the wet strands of his hair. you slowly removed your drenched panties and placed them down onto the table, jisungs breath hitched as his hands moved to push up your skirt even further, revealing the wetness around your inner thigh.

he held your waist as he rubbed his cock onto your thigh, your lips parted to let out a soft moan.

“ji i’m so fucking horny..” , you whispered into to his ears accompanied by a small bite on his lobe.

jisung looked up at you and aligned himself. he began plunging in and out of your wet pussy. you were so tight around his cock, and it was driving him insane. he didn’t want this moment to end. and so, without warning, he picked up his pace, his hips slamming against your clit with every thrust.

jisungs eyes widened slightly when he saw how much pleasure you seemed to get from being fucked hard. your breasts were bouncing wildly beneath your shirt, and he loved watching them move. the sight alone made him even more aroused than ever before.

he flipped you over so that you were now lying face-down on the table. he positioned himself behind you, the tip of his cock brushing against your wet pussy. jisung couldn't resist anymore. he began pounding into you from behind, your moans were muffled by the table underneath you, feeling the cold wood against your face. you reached a hand back, wanting jisung to go deeper.

seeing you reach for him caused his cock to twitch inside of you. his own hands reached forward, grasping yours and pulling them towards him. this way, he could pound away at you harder and faster, making sure to hit your sensitive spot each time.

the feeling of him deep inside of you caused you to let out a loud scream, feeling your legs shaking violently as he rocked inside of you. mixes of your release were already dripping down your legs as jisung thrusted relentlessly into your wet cunt.

as soon as you came, he followed along. with one final push, he buried himself deep inside you, shooting load after load of cum straight into you. it took everything within him not to collapse right then and there.

when jisung finally pulled out, he felt like he had just finished running a marathon. he looked down at you, seeing you laying there panting, drenched in sweat. jisung slowly assisted you in getting up and placed a gentle kiss onto your lips.

jisung felt his cheeks warm up once more. you couldn’t help but laugh at his shyness even after what you two had done. jisung looked up at you and smiled,

“we should have study sessions more often.. i’d love to learn more about your body”

— —

bonus: chenle left his books in the library and hurried back up to collect it. as he reached the door, he heard what seemed to be someone screaming and being the curious guy he is, chenle peeped his head inside, only to see his best friend fucking someone on the table.

later on, jisung kept getting teased by his friend who kept exaggerating about how loud you two were and even lied about the principal seeing everything.

© heyjwi

#park jisung smut #nct dream x reader #nct dream reactions #jisung hard hours #nct dream smut #park jisung #jisung nct #jisung x reader #nct smut #minors dni #park jisung hard hours #nct dream hard thoughts #jisung smut #park jisung fic #nct dream imagines #kpop smut #nct drabbles #jisung hard thoughts #jisung oneshot #nct dream hard hours #nct hard thoughts #nct hard hours #nct imagines #jisung imagines #nct dream ff

[candycandy00]

Can you do a Suguru and Satoru fic with them being horny bullies to a shy curvaceous nerdy girl? I love the bully stories!

Hope you like it!

Smut. 18+. Rape/Noncon. Fem Reader. College AU. Bullying. First time sex. Oral sex. Coercion. Gojo and Geto are cruel scumbags. This is a mean-spirited little fanfic! And before anyone wonders, I did discuss details with the requester before writing this. 

You’re sitting at a small table in the back of the empty campus library, peacefully reading your book, when you hear the heavy wooden door open. That alone is unusual enough. At this time of day, an hour after all classes have ended, the library is always deserted, not even a librarian or custodian in sight. But then you hear a pair of loud voices, laughing, talking, and you feel panic rising in your heart. 

With only one way in or out of the library, you know you can’t simply flee to an exit. Those two are near the door. Your only option is to hide and hope they don’t spot you. Maybe you could even circle back around to the door once they move further in. So you grab your book and your bag, so they won’t see any signs of your presence, and move quietly but quickly to the row of shelves nearby, ducking low to try to stay out of sight. 

You can hear them walking around, making no attempt to be quiet. They don’t care if you hear them approaching. Hell, maybe they want you to, maybe it’s part of their plan to terrorize you. 

“You sure she’s in here?” a voice asks as they move toward the tables. 

“I’ve seen her come in here every day this week. This is definitely her new hideout,” the other replies. 

They’re getting closer to the shelves. You’re not an idiot. You know they’ll check them, but if you can time it just right, you might be able to move between the shelves to avoid them. 

Suddenly they go silent. You can’t hear their voices or their footsteps. Fuck. They know you’re hiding between the shelves, and they don’t want you to know which direction they’re coming from. You try to watch both ends of the aisle you’re in, your plan now being to flee in the opposite direction the moment you catch sight of them. 

You stand there, ready to run, your heart pounding, when you finally see it. On the back end, a glimpse of white hair as the tall young man moves around the corner. You immediately make a run for it, sprinting toward the front, toward the library door. But just as you reach the end of the aisle, two strong arms reach out from the side and grab you.

“Got you,” a smooth voice says as you’re dragged back into the aisle, between the tall shelves that now feel like the walls of a cage. 

You struggle and kick, yelling, “Let me go!”

In the aisle, Gojo Satoru is waiting for his best friend, Geto Suguru, to bring you to him. They’ve been bullying you relentlessly all year, gradually getting worse as the months rolled by. It started simple, with them occasionally knocking your books out of your hands and laughing as they gave fake apologies, then shoving you against the wall and pretending they didn’t see you. Lately, their tactics had taken a decidedly sexual turn, as they’d taken to flipping up your skirt and commenting on your panties and even copping feels of your chest or ass when they caught you alone. 

You were an easy target for them. Quiet, reserved, and having few friends to surround yourself with, it was obvious why they chose you. Despite the growing intensity of their harassment, you haven’t reported them. Doing so would make the entire school hate you, and no one would believe you. Gojo and Geto were the school’s golden boys. They were beloved by everyone, and could do no wrong. They were easily the hottest guys in school, got perfect grades despite never seeming to study, and had both won various awards for their performances in several different sports. 

They were perfect, and you hated them. The universe was cruel indeed, to make the two biggest scumbags on the planet also be so gorgeous that everyone was blinded by their beauty. Everyone but you. 

Geto’s grip on you loosens just a bit, but at this point you’re trapped between them. If you try to run again, they’ll easily catch you. They’re both track team stars, for fuck’s sake. 

You try to calm down, to talk to them rationally and pray they’re feeling merciful today. “What do you two even want? Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

Geto is behind you, his hands around your waist. It’s the kind of position you’ve seen couples in. Gojo is standing in front of you, uncomfortably close, a shit-eating grin on his face. “We just wanna play with you,” Gojo says, his eyes hidden behind the dark sunglasses he wears when not in class. 

“Why were you running away?” Geto’s voice asks into your ear. “That hurts our feelings.”

You turn your head to look at Geto. Of the two of them, he’s definitely the most likely to listen to reason. “I-I don’t feel well today. Please, just let me go.”

Geto looks to Gojo. “She doesn’t feel well, Satoru. What should we do?”

It doesn’t sound like he’s asking a serious question. It sounds like he’s mocking you. 

Gojo gives you a look of fake concern. “Poor thing. What’s wrong? You on the rag?”

Before you can even answer, Gojo’s hand shoots out and moves under your skirt, squeezing your crotch through your panties. You gasp and freeze up in terror. He’s never been this bold before.

“I don’t feel a pad,” he says, withdrawing his hand. 

“Maybe she uses tampons,” Geto suggests, his grip on your waist seeming to tighten. 

Gojo snaps his fingers loudly. “That’s probably it! Let’s find out!”

“No, stop!” you cry, wriggling out of Geto’s grasp as Gojo’s hand moves toward your skirt again. “I’m not on the rag!”

Gojo stops, lowering his hand. “Then what’s wrong with you?”

You look back and forth between them, trying to think up a convincing lie. Would they have pity on you if you made up a sob story? You could say your dad died yesterday, or that you just found out you have cancer. But lying about things like that, even to escape danger, just doesn’t feel right. And besides, these two sadistic assholes probably wouldn’t care. 

“I think I’m coming down with the flu,” you say, hoping that maybe, just maybe, they might want to avoid possibly catching it from you. 

“Oh, that’s all?” Geto asks. 

“Should have gotten your flu shot like we did,” Gojo adds with a laugh. 

Your heart sinks as you watch Gojo pull something from his pocket. Geto is no longer holding you but he’s so close against your back that you can feel his body heat. 

Gojo holds up some sort of pen. “I ordered this the other day. It’s a super strong permanent marker. The ink is guaranteed to stay on skin for at least seven days, no matter how much you scrub it.”

He pulls the cap off and points the marker at you. “Why don’t we test it out? I could write, ‘This dumb cunt belongs to Gojo and Geto’ across your forehead!”

You shrink back away from him, but that only results in you pressing your back into Geto’s toned chest. 

“Satoru, I don’t think that many words will fit on her forehead,” Geto says. 

“Oh, right. Well, we can just scribble it all over her face then,” Gojo replies. 

“Please, don’t! Just leave me alone!” you cry out, your voice breaking into a sob. 

They watch you shake and tremble, then look at each other. Gojo nods, as if they had already agreed to something beforehand, and Geto suddenly steps back away from you, giving you space. 

“Okay, we’ll leave you alone today,” Geto tells you. 

You look up at him with teary eyes. “You will?”

He rubs the back of his neck with one hand, as if he’s suddenly feeling shy. “Yeah. We didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Gojo pats your shoulder in what he probably thinks is a comforting manner. “The truth is we kinda like you. We didn’t realize we were taking things too far.”

You look at both of them with wide eyes. You don’t trust them at all, so you just want to get out of here as fast as you can. “So… I can go?”

“Sure,” Geto says, smiling at you. 

Without waiting for them to change their minds, you grab your fallen bag and book from the floor and walk down the aisle, toward the door. Just before you get to the end, you hear Gojo’s voice. 

“Hey, Suguru, who’s that nerdy little guy she always sits with at lunch? Mori-something…”

“Moriyama,” Geto corrects him. “He’s always in the chemistry room around this time, with his little club of fellow nerds.”

“Yeah, that’s him! Since she can’t play with us today, let’s go play with Moriyama!”

You stop dead in your tracks and look back at them, a deep, engulfing dread building in the pit of your stomach. “What did you say?” you ask them, your voice weak and quiet but echoing in the mostly empty library. 

They both look at you. “Never mind us,” Geto says with a charming smile. “Go on home and take care of yourself.”

Gojo looks back to Geto, as if he’s ignoring you now. “Hey, let’s drag Moriyama out of the chemistry room, strip him naked, and write all kinds of hilarious shit all over him! Then we can make him walk back into the room like that so all his friends can see!”

You feel your heart pounding again. Moriyama is a sweet, kind, happy young man who has made your miserable life at this school just a little bit bearable. You’ve never told him about the bullying you suffer through, but you think he suspects something is troubling you. He’s always trying to cheer you up and offering to listen if you need to talk. In truth, you’ve started to develop feelings for him, but you haven’t had the courage to tell him yet. 

You can’t let these two monsters hurt him, especially not because of you. 

“Leave Moriyama alone!” you say, more firmly than you’ve ever said anything to them before. “He has nothing to do with this!”

They look at you again, and they both grin. “We’re going to play with someone today,” Geto says. “Will it be you, or Moriyama?”

Your hands are shaking at your sides. There’s something different about them today. They’re more aggressive, more cruel, more terrifying. But you have to protect Moriyama, so you slowly walk back down the aisle to stand near them as you say, “Y-you can play with me.”

“That’s great,” Gojo says happily, then he looks at Geto behind you. “Did you lock the door?”

“Of course.”

You look between the two of them, your eyes frantic. Lock the door? What were they going to do to you?!

All of a sudden, Gojo leans down and picks you up, practically slinging you over his shoulder as he carries your panicked, squirming form to the cluster of tables near the back. He flops you down onto one of the tables, on your back, and starts unbuttoning your shirt. You scream and try to push his hands away, but Geto is at the other end of the table, and he grabs your wrists to pin them down. 

Completely helpless to stop him, you whimper in shame as Gojo pushes your unbuttoned shirt open and shoves your bra up above your ample breasts, exposing you. He lets out a whistle as he pulls his sunglasses down to get a good look. You’ve never seen his eyes up close before, and wish you never had. They’re deceptive, far too beautiful to belong to someone so twisted. 

One of Gojo’s hands squeezes your breast, way too roughly. If the rumors are true, he’s slept with a ton of different girls. He should know how to touch a woman, which means he’s intentionally hurting you. He laughs when you wince under his touch. 

“She’s got decent tits,” he says to his friend. 

Geto releases one of your hands and reaches down to grope your other breast. His touch is softer, but equally unwelcome. You jerk your free arm down and try to push the offending hands away, but Geto pinches your nipple harshly and says, “If you keep struggling, we’ll assume you’d rather we play with Moriyama.”

You freeze up again, dropping your arm beside you. Geto releases your other wrist and looks at Gojo. “So who’s going to fuck her first?”

The words send a spike of panic through your whole body, but you realize fighting will do you no good. They’re way stronger and faster than you, there are two of them, and they effectively have a hostage. The deck is stacked against you so badly, you don’t have a prayer. 

You close your eyes for a moment as tears begin to leak out. You don’t want your first time to be with these assholes. They’ll hurt you on purpose, make it as unpleasant as possible. All you can do is hope they might not notice you’re a virgin. 

“I want to,” Gojo says, unbuckling his belt. “I’ve been hard for like twenty minutes now.”

Geto frowns. “I hate going in after you. You always leave them all stretched out.”

Hearing this terrifies you, but you try not to show any reaction. 

“Okay, fine,” Gojo says. “You can fuck her pussy first. But I’m taking her mouth right now.”

You watch in stunned horror as Gojo pulls out one of the chairs from the table and sits down, spreading his legs far apart and reaching into his open pants. He pulls out his dick, and you can only think to yourself, “That can’t be right.”

They’re not supposed to be that big, are they? How is that supposed to fit inside you? You look at it with terror as Geto pulls you up from the table and pushes you to your knees in front of Gojo. 

“Get busy,” Gojo tells you. “My dick’s not gonna suck itself.”

Thinking only of protecting Moriyama, you scoot closer to Gojo and lean your face forward. You’ve never done this before, but you just have to put it in your mouth and move your head back and forth, right? So you open your lips and let his cock slide in. It feels gross, but you try to ignore that as you make shallow motions, your lips sliding partway down his shaft and then back. 

After a few seconds, Gojo sighs and says, “Use your fucking tongue, sheesh. If this is the kinda head Moriyama’s getting, I feel sorry for the guy.”

You feel your face burning with embarrassment, and you start running your tongue over his tip, hoping it will satisfy him. The sooner he finishes, the sooner you can get his dick out of your mouth. 

Geto moves behind you and pulls your open shirt off your shoulders, then unhooks your bra and pulls it off. Even though your tits have been out for a while now, you still somehow feel even more exposed. You feel Geto’s warm hands on your breasts, kneading and squeezing, then his fingers playing with your nipples. You keep your hands stiffly at your sides, resisting the unbearable urge to pry Geto’s hands off you and shove Gojo away. 

It feels like an eternity of this torment passes before Gojo’s cock suddenly seems to get harder in your mouth. Then all at once, there’s a flood of gooey cum filling you, coating your tongue and throat. You draw back reflexively, letting some of it spill out over your lips. 

“Hey, don’t waste it,” Gojo says, using his fingers to scoop up some from your chin and then shoving it back into your mouth. You gag and heave, but he forcibly holds your mouth shut. “Swallow it,” he says. 

You have no choice but to obey, letting it glide down your throat as tears stream down your face. 

When it’s over, you barely have a chance to catch your breath before the boys pick you up and sit you on the table again. This time Gojo is behind you. He’s climbed onto the table and has his legs on either side of you, his arms around your torso. Geto is in front of you, pulling your skirt and panties down your legs and then tossing them onto the floor. When he pushes your legs apart, you close your eyes, trying to block this all out. 

You feel his fingers on you, opening your folds, feeling around. 

“She’s dry as a desert,” Geto says, a hint of disappointment in his voice. 

“So let’s get her wet,” Gojo replies, one of his hands snaking down to fondle your pussy. You jerk in his grasp, trying and failing to shrink away from his fingers that are now stroking your clit. 

“S-stop!” you cry weakly.

Geto is between your legs, leaning forward. You can’t see what he’s doing, but you feel his tongue glide over your spread open pussy. 

Gojo jerks his hand away. “Dude, you almost licked my fingers. Gross.”

They both laugh as Geto takes over stroking you with his thumb. Soon you can feel it, a slickness you can’t believe. You hate them! Why is your body betraying you like this?

“She’s ready,” Geto says before opening his own pants. 

“That was easy,” you hear Gojo’s voice at your ear. “Guess we were right. She is a little slut. I bet Moriyama would cry if he found out his girlfriend’s getting wet for other guys!”

They have an entirely wrong idea about your relationship with Moriyama, but at this point there’s no point in trying to correct them. 

You raise up as far as you can to look down. Geto’s cock is already out, and it’s almost as big as Gojo’s. He runs his hand up and down it a few times, then he closes in on you. He positions himself just right, and you squeeze your eyes shut, holding your breath. 

Then you feel it, his cock ripping into you. You grit your teeth and hold back any sound from escaping your mouth. You won’t let them hear you scream. 

After a few deep, hard thrusts, Geto pauses. “Satoru?”

“Yes, Suguru?”

“You won’t believe this.”

You open your eyes to see Geto staring down at where your bodies meet. Gojo leans forward to look, then says, “Holy shit! She’s a virgin?!”

They both look to your face for confirmation, but you can only look away without speaking. 

Gojo laughs loudly. “Oh wow, that’s hilarious! You’re losing your virginity to a guy you hate!” 

“Satoru,” Geto says, his voice somewhat strained as he thrusts back into you, “shut the fuck up.”

He’s not going as deep or as hard as before. Is he trying to be gentle with you? Now? He doesn’t need to bother. It doesn’t change what he’s doing to you, what he’s been doing to you for months now. He’s just trying to ease what tiny shred of conscience he has left. 

Gojo is watching your face, seeming amused. “Wait, was that your first blowjob just now? That explains why you were so lousy at it! No offense.”

You turn away from him, just wanting this to be over. All you want is to go home and take a bath, to scrub their touch away, to wash off the smell of their expensive cologne. 

Geto pumps in and out of you for a while longer, then grunts as he suddenly pulls out. Then you feel his hot cum splatter on your stomach. 

“You should’ve given her a creampie,” Gojo tells him. 

Geto rolls his eyes. “Yeah, because getting her pregnant would be a great idea. Idiot.”

Gojo gets off the table and leaves your limp body lying prone, your legs still spread apart, blood trickling out of you. He gets the marker, the one he’d threatened you with earlier, and starts writing on your body. At this point you don’t even have the energy to care. You think you hear Geto telling him to stick to places that would be covered up by your clothes. He’s probably afraid someone will find out what they did. 

Before they leave, Geto throws your shirt over you and says, “I’ll leave the door locked on our way out so no one comes in.” You look at him blankly, not responding. Are you supposed to thank him for this tiny speck of decency amidst a sea of abuse? 

Gojo grins at you as he puts his sunglasses back on. “We’ll see you tomorrow! And if you open your dumb slut mouth about this to anyone, we’ll make Moriyama’s life hell.” Then he blows you a kiss as the two of them disappear out the door. 

For a while, you just lie there, staring up at the ceiling, not thinking or feeling. Then you sit up and look down. The words are upside down for you, but still easy enough to read. Written across your chest is the word “WHORE” in all capital letters. On you lower stomach, Gojo has scrawled, “We popped this cherry!” along with an arrow pointing at your crotch. He even doodled a couple of cherries on a stem. 

With trembling hands, you pull your clothes back on and pick up your bag and book. You’re already sobbing by the time you make it to the door. 

Worst of all is the unsettling realization that you’re only halfway through the year, and now you’re stuck being the fucktoy of your bullies. This was going to be one hell of a year. 

#gojo x reader x geto #gojo x reader #geto x reader #gojo smut #geto smut #gojo satoru #geto suguru #Jjk x reader #Jjk smut #x reader #tw: rape

[yutaleks]

true love comes from more than just the heart

yuuta x female reader, length: 1.5K CWs: yandere // reader has loose hair that can be tucked behind the ear // bruises A/N: This is a repost, lightly edited. banner by @/cafekitsune

Part of Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing series

Things with your project partner, Yuuta, have been awkward as of late. It’s been exactly three days, 5 hours, and 40 minutes since the moment he asked you if you wanted to go on a date and you’d let him down as easy as you could. You’d fed him some excuse about not wanting to date right now, not when you’re busy with classes and finals are approaching. But since then, he’s been missing from every group function, and every time your eyes meet in lecture hall it’s like looking at a kicked puppy. It’s eating at you from the inside out, and after said 3 days 5 hours and 40 minutes you can’t take the awkwardness anymore.

“Okkotsu-kun,” you sit down beside him in one of the libraries on campus. You weren’t sure if you’d find him here but somehow, every time you purposefully seek him out, he’s always within reach. “Can we talk?”

He has a laptop and a notebook open on the wooden table, which he promptly shuts as soon as you take a seat next to him. He tucks his arms under the table and looks at you with those very same soggy tired eyes of his. You wonder if he even sleeps at all.

“Sure. What do you need?” He tacks your name and the appropriate honorific on at the end, his voice dulcet and polite.

“I just… feel bad about what happened. We still have to work together on our project and besides that, I like talking to you… but it feels weird suddenly. I feel like you’ve been avoiding me.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well you didn’t show up for recitation or group study yesterday… bailed on our project meeting the day before that…” you’re wringing your hands on your lap, and Yuuta’s staring at them instead of looking at you. “Are you listening to me?”

“I just needed some time to myself,” he tries to offer you a soft smile but it comes out more like a wince. 

“Aren’t we friends? We don’t have to cut ties just because of—”

“I dont want to cut ties at all.” His voice comes out a little harsher, colder than he’d wanted. In a lower, gentler voice he adds, “it’s because we’re just friends that I just… needed some time.”

“Yuuta-kun.” He looks back up at you directly, forced to by the fact that you’d used his first name and reached out for his hand. He feels his heart in his throat. “It’s not you, it’s just…”

How do you explain this to him, really? Because it is partially him—your best friend and roommate Nobara had drilled into your head that he’s bad news from day one. But in reality, to you, he’s something of a yellow flag, maybe even a pale green. Not red, not yet. Because there’s nothing really wrong with him at all. He’s just a little intense at times, when he’s not being nauseatingly polite and oozing with kindness and consideration. You don’t entirely see whatever darkness it is that Nobara sees in him.

When he perks up in his seat you imagine a dog with ears pointed up, turned at you. Cute.

“I guess I have really bad luck with guys and it’s been a bit nerve-wracking going about dating. I don’t think I’m ready for that again, not with you.”

“What do you mean bad luck?” He blinks, confused.

“Ever since university started, things have just been so strange…” you subconsciously try to pull your hands away, but Yuuta holds them close to his own. You feel a reassuring squeeze. “I’d get close to someone, they’d seem interested… maybe even flirt or meet for a date… but not long after that they’d just vanish and ghost me. Even as recently as a couple weeks ago, I’d been talking to a guy in civics who then stopped coming to class altogether… It’s happened enough times that I’ve just sworn off dating, you know? I guess it’s for the best—maybe the universe just wants me to focus on school, not on relationships with other people. It’s distracting, anyway.”

As you ramble, Yuuta’s thumb glides over your fingers, lulling you into a sense of comfort. It’s nice to talk about this with someone so patient, someone who isn’t as blunt as your roommate; she had blamed you for every person who would disappear soon after coming close to your orbit. You love her to death but coming to her with a hurt ego only makes the wound sting.

“It’s not you at all!” When he feels eyes on him, the other patrons of the library glaring at him for his outburst, he quiets his voice yet again. “You’re perfect. Anyone who doesn’t see that is wrong and doesn’t deserve you at all.” 

You smile at the sureness and totality in his voice. He’s entirely convinced you could do no wrong, and it feels kind of nice to have someone in your corner for once.

You take one hand out of his grip to push back a lock of your hair and in the process manage to look down at your intertwined hands. To your surprise, his hands are bandaged at the knuckles. How had you not noticed that? And peeking from the corners of said bandages are bruises, faded hues of blue and purple. They aren’t fresh, but they look gnarly, the skin taut over his knuckles just about to burst at the seams.

“What happened to you, Okkotsu-kun?” You twist and turn his hands in yours, and he finds that he likes the attention from you—likes it so much he doesn’t dare pull away. His hands go limp in your palms, soaking up their warmth. “Did you have these the last time we spoke?”

“Um… I’ve been working out with a friend these last few weeks. Boxing.” 

You laugh, a sigh of relief visibly making your tense shoulders sag. It’s with this that Yuuta realizes that you’re not the type to pry. You trust him.

“What made you take that up?” You release his hands, to his internal dismay. “Looks painful.”

He shrugs and tucks his hands back under the table, away from your line of vision. “Hmm… I don’t know. Just something to do, I guess.” 

“I never took you as the type to do anything like that.”

He tilts his head. You watch one of the small hoops in his earlobe sway with the movement.

“Really? Why?”

“You’re just always so nice. You give off such a sweet vibe. Like you help grannies cross the street in your spare time, or some shit like that.”

You both share a chuckle, the first time you’d both smiled at each other since before he’d tried to ask you on a date. You find yourself stuck on the curve of his lips, pink and slightly chapped. 

Why did you reject him again…?

The strand of hair that you’d tucked behind your ear falls forward again, and this time Yuuta is the one to tuck it back for you. It feels so natural for him to do it, that you stay still and let him.

“The Yuuta in your mind is such a gentleman, isn’t he?”

You giggle at his choice of words. Why’s he talking about himself like that? The look in his eyes is a little strange, but in your heart, you agree. He’s never given you a reason to believe otherwise.

“Yeah… he definitely is.”

“I’m glad.” He holds the end of the lock of your hair between his fingertips, curling your hair around his pointer finger. He inhales deeply—you smell like strawberries at this distance. It’s lovely.  

He sighs. His breath sounds so heavy, diffusing the tension between you. “I’m sorry I made things awkward. I hope we can still be friends…”

Your smile is bright. Incorruptible. It’s so fucking pretty—always is.

He lets your hair fall out of his grasp.

“Of course, it’s why I came here. I want to be friends… As long as you want to be.”

He wants to say forever. He wants to tell you he never wants to be apart and never wants to see that smile fade. He even wants to tell you about all the fantasies he has in his head where you’re married and tucked away in a forest somewhere, to be each other’s gravity, the entirety of each other’s universes. But he swallows the words instead—that’s just a little too much for you, right now. Even he knows this. Yet somewhere in his mind, he’s certain he’ll be able to say everything he wants to say to you wholeheartedly soon. 

He just has to be a little more patient…

“I do.”

#yan!yuuta #yuuta x reader #yuta okkotsu x reader #jjk x reader #cw.yandere #writing tag

[punkpandapatrixk]

Full Beaver Moon in Gemini ♦︎ Moon Magick Pick A Card

(I’m ultra-sorry for this PAC being ultra-late!! I’ve been in deep, intense spiritual rehab🙏🏻Also, y’all have NO idea how much psychotic psychic ‘opposition’ I was fighting to get through with this PAC! It was plain insanity at this point. If you’ve found this PAC and you resonate, please, PLEASE, take care of your spiritual wellbeing and amp up your psychic protection for next year!)

☆♪°・.

Collectively speaking, the whole of Mankind is being prepared for a massive transformation that, hopefully, will lead to real, lasting harmony and prosperity. It is high time Mankind grew up and learnt to be responsible for the choices it makes in regards to co-Creation with the Universe. Where attention goes, aenergy goes, right?

Every man’s priority and perspective hold the power to shape—and reshape—Reality. For realz. For we are all part of that same fabric of Reality, we are constantly, with each other, co-Creating various spectrum of experiences that affect each other’s wellbeing. It’s inevitable. Your attention is what gives power to the Matrix. If you want to beat the System, you need to learn its mechanism and ultimately, stop giving your attention to Reality creation that doesn’t serve the highest good of all of Mankind.

Full Beaver Moon was on November 27. Its effects can still be felt by most peeps until at least April Fool’s next year (funny). This full moon is second to last before this year’s final Full Cold Moon on December 26, which will be in Cancer; and so the meaning of this Beaver Moon is for us to gather as much resource as possible before the cold winter.

For this Beaver Moon is in Gemini—the sign of thinking and learning—this implies gathering info, perspective, knowledge, intel as much as possible for us to study and digest all throughout winter. Sounds funny but trust me this will be SO relevant by spring next year. The aenergy I’m tapping into is super intense as the whole of Mankind is being ushered into a phase of rapid growing pains that will affect societies on a global scale.

Death of an old paradigm. Death of the 3D Self. It’s all happening. If you identify as a Lightworker or a Starseed, the message you find here could potentially be more relevant to you than most other peeps you know in your circle. You’re in gestation mode. Get ready because spring might be…weird?

It’s high time Mankind learnt to be responsible for its real power of co-Creation. Those who are more spiritually attuned have always had a craving for a freer, more authentic existence. Use this time to rest your heart, your mind, your soul, and let your Higher Self show you the way towards new avenues and grounds for things and pursuits you’ve always felt a calling to.

Even your weirdest hobbies and interests are no coincidence, hon. 2024 will probably not allow anyone to have a stagnant time—for better or worse… But you? You’re going to have a blast! I just know it🥂

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Spread Your Wings and Fly Away

resource – 3 of Pentacles

I hope you acknowledge just how resourceful you are as a person. On top of that, you’re naturally courageous. If you feel like you’re not that brave, it must’ve been your environment and the people you’ve met that have dimmed that fire in you. It is now time to reclaim your authentic voice. And you need to begin with acknowledging just how much your environment is stifling your creativity and/or originality. It is only by understanding the patterns that have shaped the way you view yourself can you then unravel that false perception that, you could say, was imposed on you.

Don’t kill your inner child to please the adults around you—no matter who these adults may be (they could be your peers if you’re already an adult yourself). When you were born into this world you carried seeds of courage, creativity and invention. All of these are such precious gifts for Mankind. You were supposed to develop yourself as one of the new builders of New Earth. You may have forgotten the minute details of your blueprint, but I know that you know it in your heart of hearts that this is the truth of your reason for being born :D

recollection – XVII The Star

You’re literally the only Pile that’s gotten a Major Arcana. Surely you know you’re a Starseed? :D If you don’t, you soon will. Perhaps your parents know something about the ‘waves of volunteers’ that was quite a topic back in the 60s or 70s? (I’m not duper sure about the timeline lol) At any rate, you have a great destiny ahead of you and it is imperative that you acknowledge this of yourself first before you’re launched into initiation*. What’s that about, you ask?

Many of your latent talents that may still be offline right now will gradually be uncovered for you. Throughout 2024, I’m sure you will experience many awakenings of sort that will propel you into remembering bits and pieces of talents you had acquired in other lifetimes. All of these gifts, are your gifts to Humanity. There is a divine reason why you’ve had to work so hard for your own personal transformation before you could assist others in helping themselves transform their paradigm. OK?

respite – 10 of Cups Rx

It is rather common for Starseeds to feel like the family they were born into, isn’t the family they belong to. Many Starseeds even find themselves look quite visibly physically different from the rest of their family. There’s just something there that seems to act as a bridge between your entire existence and theirs. You don’t think the same way; your moralities totally clash; the essences of your values are worlds apart; and so on. You’re right, these people aren’t the people you’re meant to call ‘family’. Their only purpose is to show you how ‘crazy’ develops in people, all for you to learn to navigate it and put an end to generational curses on Planet Earth. And thus it begins at ‘home’.

I have a feeling that for many of you reading this, there is an elder in your family—a much older elder—whom you could actually talk to, who would be able to share information about circumstances surrounding your birth or the bloodline you are born into. In another scenario, this person may not be older but simply possesses immense knowledge pertaining to your raison d’etre or even Life Purpose. In yet another scenario, it may not necessarily be a family member but rather, a teacher, a divine someone you meet serendipitously, or some random-ass wise Boomer you watch on YouTube who holds ideas and perspectives that make you feel seen and validated.

The period from this Full Beaver Moon until at least April next year may involve a lot of healthy grieving. Let yourself feel those emotions and feel Human. You deserve a safe space to be yourself and see all your dreams manifest. You’ve got this, OK? One day you will be serving the Light by sharing your stories😊

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

*I’ve included further technical interpretations of what this ‘initiation’ means for Lightworkers and Starseeds in the bonus content🐛

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Where Have You Come From and Where Are You Going, Dear Traveller?

resource – 7 of Cups Rx

In your childhood, I feel like you were forced to grow up faster than your peers. Your environment was not exactly friendly to the dreams and imaginations of a child. So you grew up to become practical, pragmatic and responsible rather quickly. But it was really hard to grow up like that because you, the real you, are a visionary. A visionary is someone who has many dreams and wild ideas, and in the right environment, a quality like that would’ve been much, much more celebrated! In the wrong environment, a dreaminess such as that is stifled.

This FM in Gemini invites you to revisit this dreaminess of yours because in your imaginations and daydreams lies the map of your Soul. Where have you come from and where are you going, dear visionary? Understanding your place in the world helps you gain insight about your Life Purpose, so to speak. What gifts have you brought into this world to share with Humanity? What challenges have you come face to face that have shaped your unique skills and perceptions?

recollection – 6 of Cups

Your home environment, your family and society have shaped the person that you are. It is important to understand your ‘roots’, kinda, so you know your strengths and weaknesses when standing in the midst of society. The rich kid from the upper echelons of society will possess skills and knowledge the poor kid from the hood wasn’t fed with. But likewise, the poor kid from the hood will possess perspectives and street smarts that are very unique in comparison to the shielded experiences of most privileged kids. Something like that.

One is not necessarily superior to the other. It’s mostly about understanding where you’ve come from and where these experiences, skills and perspectives could get you. Know your own uniqueness and use that to serve Humanity as you use that to take care of yourself and those you care about. A true sense of success can only come from being useful to other people, for the most part…unless you’re a psychopath XD

respite – King of Pentacles

You have so many natural talents that could make you money, that much I’d like to reaffirm. But more importantly than money, it’s that you have such a strong penchant for true leadership. If you work with your Throat chakra, you could become a very appealing public speaker. You could convince people to join your causes. But to become a true leader of the new world, you must possess good morality, so don’t forget to take care of your Solar Plexus and Heart chakras, so you don’t fall into the trapping of manipulation through speech.

Honestly, I think you are such a good person in spite of all the mental/psychological hardships you’ve had to grow up with. Calm your nerves down and enjoy slow moments with, idk, camomile tea or lavender bath, every now and then? Relaxation practices like breathing meditation, or even just fixing your sleeping pattern/schedule, could help you get in touch with your inner child again and I feel that this is something that will be important for you throughout this winter☃️Everything about your Life will become a lot clearer by spring, trust that😉

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Let the Past Die and Live on For Your Soul Tribes

resource – 3 of Cups

Honey, it’s time for you to rejoice. You’ve been through so much disappointment, so much heartbreak, and people have betrayed and abandoned you, and you’ve come through nevertheless. Surely that deserves some kind of karmic reward? Your Spirit Guides, your Soul Family, are applauding you for all you’ve been through. I think you’ve worked hard on yourself. Releasing yourself from past pains, distancing yourself—to the best of your ability—from toxic people and environments, and you’re about ready to serve your Dharmic Purpose.

I know many of you reading this will resonate with having worked on transmuting a lot of generational karma, but plenty of you tapping into this reading have even worked on transmuting geological karma and curses. The geographical location you were born into or the race you were born into, collectively speaking these kinds of things also carry generational curses based on terrible things that have happened on that location. I’d like you to know that you’ve done so much just by existing! You are the magic, the miracle that you’ve been hoping to see in the world🐣

recollection – Page of Pentacles

You’re an individual of many talents, but I’m sure there’s like 2 or 3 things you’re INSANELY good at. Do you know what they are? If you focus all of your aenergy on just these few main talents, you will literally shift your whole Reality to a much higher bandwidth! Try it. By focusing on just these few main pursuits, I sense you will be attracting your Soul Tribes at a much faster rate. I’m seeing these pulsating energetic vortexes that represent you and your Soul Tribes currently incarnate on Earth. These vortexes are spinning and expanding so rapidly that you and your Soul Tribes are magnetising each other into your morphogenetic fields—essentially, your Realities.

You and your Soul Tribes literally have unique missions on Earth and when you meet and collab, everything is going to make sense for you. These seemingly different groups of people are doing things (or exist in industries) that are similar to your own interests and visions for the world. I sense you may have felt a calling to be part of a certain industry and you’ve been studying and preparing yourself for that. ATTENTION! THIS. IS. NOT. RANDOM. You are being manifested by that industry if anything LMAO You have a place there so keep going!🌾

respite – 2 of Cups Rx

With all of that said, let this reading be your confirmation that you can make the choice to die to everyone and everything that doesn’t align with this vision in your mind that you know comes from your Soul. Be a ghost. Hustle in quiet. Don’t spill the beans until they are ready for planting. And when you plant, plant with your Soul Family and not those who are only pretending to be there for you so they can take advantage of you later!

Connections with your real Soul Tribes are going to feel effortlessly uplifting on top of being respectful of boundaries. Interactions and exchanges with your real Soul Tribes are never going to make you feel icky. Trust your gut instinct when you feel that someone you’ve come to trust is probably manipulating you with kind or sweet words imbued with some dishonourable intent. You’re probably right but let’s not take chances; you’ve had enough, so keep your brains about you, too. Best to use this time to build—or rebuild—your world of everything that makes Life worth living🎂

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

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#Moon Panda Pick A Pic #full moon #full moon in gemini #REVOLUTION #punk #culture #youth #pick a card #pick a card reading #tarot pick a card #pac #pac reading #tarot pac #tarot community #tarot reader #tarotblr #tarot #witchythings #starseed #lightworker

[the-zk-directory]

Zutara Probably Would Have Been Canon in Season 4 – The Masterpost

| [Intro.] |

If you’ve been around or within the Avatar fandom for any period of time you have probably, one way or another, become aware of one of the most intense shipping wars not just of any children’s show, but possibly just in general, one that is well over a decade old by now, approaching two.

Katara and Aang (Kataang), though canon, are often criticized for being one-sided, bad for each of the characters, and rushed. The creators of Avatar though – Mike & Bryan (collectively known as the entity ‘Bryke’) – have stated in the past that Kataang “was in the DNA of the [show] from the start.” (x)

Statements like the above are one of the reasons Zuko and Katara (Zutara) fans have been labelled ‘conspiracy theorists’ when they claim things that contradict Bryke: namely, that Zutara as a pairing was not only a serious consideration during the show’s run, but the likely outcome if the show had continued on for another season, which it seems it almost did.

(This hypothetical ‘Book 4’ was, for a long time, considered a Zutarian conspiracy theory in itself.)

But let’s back up.

How did these so-called conspiracy theories start?

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| [Intro. To The Rumours + Who Is Aaron Ehasz?] |

For a long time, the only thing that Zutara fans could latch onto were rumours. People who claimed to have worked at Nickelodeon, worked in the artistic community and knew things, met a writer in person, etc. This may not sound promising on its face, but the thing is, most of these rumours were consistent. Most of their content concerned the one-time possibility of season 4, and one man in particular: Avatar’s head writer Aaron Ehasz.

We’ll go into those rumours in depth in a second. For right now, here's a little teaser: (x)

But first, who is Aaron Ehasz (& ex-wife Elizabeth Welch) and what were his contributions to the development of Avatar?

[Who Are the Ehaszs, and Why Does Everyone Bring Them Up?] -- (x)(x)

Bonus: (x) (Note that the poster is Giancarlo Volpe btw, another writer on Avatar.)

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| [The Main Rumour Sources – Tumblr Blogs ‘Kataraandzuko’ & ‘Zephyrita’] |

Now we can get to the rumours themselves. The two main sources are both now-deactivated tumblr blogs. ‘Kataraandzuko’ is the first one we’re going to talk about. This person claimed to be an assistant writer/intern on Avatar Books 2/3 with inside knowledge of what went on behind the scenes in the writer’s room.

Meet ‘Kataraandzuko’: (x)

Zephyrita, similarly, claimed to be someone who interned and studied at Nickelodeon Studios in 2007 as an animation color stylist (according to (x)). It seems significant to mention that Zephyrita also claimed to not actually be a Zutara shipper.

(Besides reblogs, a good amount of her original posts can be found on the Wayback Machine. I took screenshots of a few of them and posted them to my blog individually with the links to the rest underneath.)

Meet ‘Zephyrita’: (x)

By the way, while I don’t know when the blogs were first started or when the first rumours concerning season 4 were posted, they seem to have been around since at least late 2015-2016. It’s hard to tell with the blogs and original posts being deactivated, but that’s the earliest I’ve seen. (If anyone sees anything earlier, let me know.) This will become important later.

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| [Controversy: (A conversation I had with…)] |

Now, I said we were going to talk about Kataraandzuko first and the post that we’re going to talk about specifically is this one: (x)

In it, Kataraandzuko claims to have had a conversation with Aaron Ehasz in Philadelphia. Why they were both in Philadelphia is not stated in the post. According to what Kataraandzuko wrote, Aaron seems to strongly imply that he had wanted to explore a romantic relationship between Zuko and Katara. This supposed conversation was turned into a tumblr post and written down in a style reminiscent of an interviewer and interviewee.

Being the only well-known rumour post to be written this way meant it, kataraandzuko themselves, and all the rumours generally would come under a lot of fire when Everything changed when Aaron Ehasz attacked Aaron Ehasz himself came out and said this: (x) in September, 2018.

With Aaron himself basically shooting down the idea that a season 4 (and, by proxy, Zutara) was ever seriously considered or planned, people who had viewed Zutara fans’ theories as nothing more than wild, imaginative conspiracies by desperate shippers felt like they had been proved right: (x)

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| [Other Rumours] |

And yet, rumours persisted.

[This (x) for the record, is kataraandzuko’s follow-up post to their ‘Conversation I had with Aaron Ehasz in Philadelphia’ post. I’ve reblogged a number of their other posts too. But fine, Aaron said the interview was fake, so let’s disregard everything ‘kataraandzuko’ said for now.]

Here’s someone who claims to have been present at a class that Aaron gave a lecture at at UC Berkeley: (x)(x)

(this class seems to have been real – here’s a link to people talking about it 12 years ago; the link on the page appears to have changed though: (x) )

Here’s another post concerning that class, though I’m not sure if the person they’re talking about who attended is actually the same person as above. (x)

Other posts from Reddit, 4chan, & Deviantart: (x)(x)(x)

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| [Evidence Against Kataang] |

[Series Bible] Of course, rumours aren’t really ‘evidence.’ And, while it’s hard to find evidence for something that never happened, it’s not hard to take a look at Avatar’s original series bible, or series outline by Bryke, and see that, though indeed, the series bibles only outlines three seasons, it also doesn’t outline endgame Kataang or suggest it being anywhere near ‘the DNA of the show.’ In fact, Aang and Katara & Sokka separate at the end of this version, with the latter two returning home and Aang going off to search for airbenders. (x)

[“A 50/50 Chance”] Off the record, Bryke even seemed to admit themselves that there might have been a back and forth regarding who exactly was going to end up with who. See here (x) an account of a Kataang fan who thanked Bryke at a comic con, only to be told: “Well, it was a 50/50 chance.“

[M. Night Interview] This was confirmed by a third party as well. ~Certain~ movies he’s made may not have lived up to their expectations but I see no reason why M. Night Shyamalan would lie when he says that at the time he talked to Mike and Bryan regarding a potential live action movie, there were a lot of things that hadn’t been figured out yet, including “who Katara was going to end up with.” (x)

And so, with or without a direct confirmation of season 4 by Aaron (when the world needed him most, he vanished), it seemed there had still been wiggle-room at some point in time for the potential of ~certain things~ to have, indeed, been under consideration, fourth season or not.

-----------

| [Aaron Confirms on Twitter] |

BUT THEN.

100 Years passed and my brot—

On April 1, 2019, Aaron emerged, as if from an iceberg, to share some thoughts on an Azula redemption arc (x), confirm this was not an April Fool’s joke, and to state the following: “Yes, I always believed there would be a 4th season.” (x)

Zutara fans, realizing they had been right about this, and wondering what other strongly associated theory they might have been right about, rejoiced: (x)

One half of the infamous Bryke, Bryan Konietzko, did not. And, in fact, indirectly called Aaron a liar: (x)

And, It is worth mentioning, in the interest of giving everyone the full picture, that Bryan is not the only one to question Aaron recently. In late 2019, allegations came out of Aaron creating a sexist and toxic work environment. (x)

(Personally, I think your mileage may very on how serious or substantial you may find these claims.)

But with regards to the topic at hand, the Season 4 claims, someone on a Reddit thread here (x) recounts: “Also I wasn't really sure where to put this but Jean Paul Bondy, an artist who worked on ATLA, jumped in AE's twitter thread to say ‘I don’t remember this at all. Obviously I wasn’t party to discussion you three had. But I was always under the impression we were only doing the three.’”

Just recently, in 2023, Jack De Sena (Sokka’s VA) also answered a question about season 4 at a con: ((x) -- 27:30)

“I’ve heard subsequently that there was like, conversations about season 4 and stuff, but, at the time, it definitely felt like we were only doing three. Like, I was being told at the time like, they had conceived of this like, closed arc, three season… thing. So, while they were planting some seeds for like, here’s other story elements that we could explore in other areas when we have the time, it definitely felt like, ‘okay, this is, this is the journey we’re going on together, it has reached a logical conclusion.’ So, it did feel, to us while recording it, quite final and complete.”

“I was always told it was a set three,” confirms Zachary Tyler Eisen (Aang’s VA)

-----------

| [Discussion] |

So, in a sense, we’re back where we started. Though, I would question how much, exactly, artists and voice actors, who I would assume typically only start working on scripts that have already been decided on long beforehand, would really know about any behind the scenes discussions among the writers about potential trajectories and arcs for the show as a whole (and how long those would take to play out).

And Jack did mention that he’s heard now that there were “conversations about season 4” – I’m assuming he’s heard that from more trustworthy sources than internet rumours. And, if he did, then that directly contradicts Bryan seemingly saying he never had the slightest interest in making a fourth season and was always firm on that.

After looking at everything, it seems clear to me that, to the direct contradiction of a few rumours on my blog, Avatar was probably NOT pitched as a 4 (or more) season show. I do think it was probably pitched as three. But I also think, after the show was greenlit or as it was going on, Aaron saw the potential for more seasons and pushed for them. Maybe those discussions didn’t make it very far out of the writer’s room. Maybe there was a point in time where Aaron felt he had been successful in convincing Bryke to go for a fourth season. Or maybe he always felt like he’d be able to get them there eventually. Maybe the movie finally put an end to any of Aaron’s hopes. I don’t know.

But, it’s kind of irrelevant. If the ‘conspiracy’ is that Aaron was setting up the show for a Zutara ending in season 4, then it doesn’t matter how close, in reality, we were to a fourth season. What really matters is whether or not Aaron thought there’d be one.

“Yes, I always believed there would be a 4th season”

And it seems he did.

-----------

| [‘Zephyrita’, ’Tizuyan’ & the Smoking Gun] |

Now, you may have noticed that there was someone mentioned before that we never talked about: Zephyrita. I waited because I’ve noticed something that I’ve never seen anybody else talk about, and decided it needed its own section.

Zephyrita was, of course, one of the two main bloggers that claimed to have worked/interned on Avatar back in the day and posted things they supposedly remembered from behind the scenes, things that all supported the Season 4/Zutara theory.

Given that Aaron indirectly called out the other main blog as a fraud, causing us to have to disregard them for now, you may wonder why anyone should view Zephyrita’s credibility as any different. Here’s actually a post of someone arguing with her about this and Zephyrita’s response: (x)

“’You can’t prove you worked at Nick!!’

What type of proof do you need? Why do I have to prove something as insignificant as this anyway? Like, working there isn’t some exclusive club and I didn’t write an entire episode, I just interned and studied there but I did get to talk a lot with the staff. I wanted to intern at CN but I ended up with Nick in the end. This was all back in 2007 and I’ve been working in advertising since then. You want me to just ring up Tim Hendricks and ask him how he is after almost 10 years? […] I would post my studio pass as ‘proof’ but that contains confidential info.”

So let’s get into why I believe Zephyrita.

(x) – This is a post where Zephyrita is asked what some of Aaron’s ideas were that didn’t make it into the show. Most of her response has to deal with Zuko and Katara, but it also includes this little tidbit about Aang at the end:

“Aang would leave on a self-searching journey after feeling the consequences of energybending and getting jealous over how close Zuko and Katara had become.”

In another post (x), she shares “my friend yan no longer has tumblr because people on this site are RIDICULOUS but she told she wanted to put in some extra info about the ideas that ehasz had:”

‘Yan’ I’m thinking is another deactivated user – ‘Tizuyan’ – who also used to post about the unexplored ideas Aaron had. (Admittedly, I’m not sure how they claimed to know any of it.)

But Zephyrita shares the ideas that ‘Yan’ supposedly gave her, including this one: “zuko and katara develop an understanding and bond that the other characters can not comprehend. they grow very close and sokka starts to suspect there is something going on between them. aang starts feeling jealous but tries to hide these feelings (ehasz said he would start feeling “weird” lmao). this would play a part of his growing darkness.”

In yet another post (x), Tizuyan herself writes “They would have fit very well within the possible Book 4 where Aang became “dark” and traveled back to the Air Temples for solace (where he examines himself, and finds a bunch of flying bison + winged lemur)”

So, to summarize, there would have been consequences to energy bending that would have caused a growing darkness in Aang. And as said before, all these posts are from around 2015-2016, if you go back and look at their earliest, still-existing notes.

Why is this significant?

-----------

It is significant because in 2019, after confirming he always thought there’d be a fourth season on twitter, Aaron Ehasz did an interview (x) where he talked a little bit more about what his ideas were for Season 4, beyond an Azula redemption arc. Obviously, there’s nothing in this interview about Zutara. But. But. There is this:

“Ehasz reaffirmed his earlier stated plans for a longer arc for Azula but also divulged additional details. One plotline would have followed up on Aang taking away Fire Lord Ozai’s bending at the end of the third season.

‘My feeling about that was like there’s always a cost, right? There’s always some balance. You can’t just be like I’m the Avatar, taking your powers away. It’s a great power, but part of it is you just took all this evil into you. To take it away from someone else you’re holding onto it to protect the world.’

For Aang that would have been an incredible burden and something Ehasz would have wanted to see him deal with.

‘The story I wanted to tell with Aang was about him struggling with taking some of that inside and probably a considerable amount of anger and guilt and big feelings. By the way, guess who would be the best person to have a mini vacation with? It’s Zuko! Someone who’s processed a lot of anger on his own, right?’”

So… basically… there would have been consequences to energy bending that would have caused a growing darkness in Aang.

It matches up perfectly.

And not only that, but you’ll notice in the interview he also mentions wanting to focus on Iroh and his spiritual transformation, and mentions something relating to the potential for existing airbenders. This also matches up well with other things that were written in the latter two tumblr posts linked above.

So, what are the possible explanations? Liars/delusional shippers on tumblr who were falsely claiming to have insider knowledge on Avatar just so happening to have hit on some of the exact same season 4 plot points as the head writer, 3-4 years before season 4 was even a thing that had been acknowledged publicly? Aaron Ehasz trolling the internet and coming across these theories and then repeating them as if they had been his own ideas for… some purpose?

Or that maybe some of these blogs had been telling the truth?

This is why I called this section ‘the smoking gun’ – I believe that Aang can save t- that DenofGeek interview, along with those old rumour posts give credence to everything else Zephyrita/Tizuyan had to say. (And we’ll get back to ‘kataraandzuko’ later.)

Link to Zephyrita’s posts and comments: (x). The only other post of mine that I know Tizuyan appears on is this one: (x)

-----------

| [Zutara Evidence – External and Textual] |

And there’s more concrete evidence than just rumours. We’ve already gone over the ‘hard’ evidence against the idea that Kataang was planned from the start, but up until now we haven’t gone over the evidence that exists to support Zutara specifically.

First, here’s just a post (x) showing, besides what we’ve already gone over, how Zutara was teased in some of the promotional materials, as well as some comments (including the ‘Avatar Extras’) made by some other writers on the show, further confirming what Bryke once privately acknowledged to a fan – I’m not sure if the chance was exactly 50%, but it seems it was definitively higher than 0.

And, it seems, high enough that little bits of foreshadowing (or…potentially, a major amount of foreshadowing, depending on your view) did make it into the show itself.

Much has been made of the parallels that exist between the ‘Cave of Two Lovers’/’Crossroads of Destiny’ episodes, namely the two lovers with a red and blue color scheme from opposite sides of a war that come together in a cave of glowing crystals… and the two characters with a red and blue color scheme from opposite sides of a war… that come together in a cave of glowing crystals.

Here’s a few posts that break this down in depth: (x) (x) (x)

And here’s just another little piece of external evidence, another comment by a writer – and actually the writer of ‘The Cave of Two Lovers’: (x)

(I noticed he also mentions the series bible saying Zuko and Katara were supposed to end up together??? Yeah, I don’t know what that’s about. Make of it what you will.)

-----------

| [Bryke Being Nasty to Zutarians] |

^^Is it necessary for me to write this section? No.

But, in a way, it’s what led to my interest in this. I’ve said before that if Mike and Bryan had just been normal adults about all this, said that Zutara was a thing that was considered, that could have happened but didn’t, respected their friendship/bond in canon, and just said to all the Zutara fans, “sorry it didn’t go your way this time; hope you can still enjoy the ending anyway!” we wouldn’t have a problem. I would have just thought it was a shame and missed opportunity, and then moved on with my life and not really thought about it ever again.

It's the apparent lying and immaturity and seeming… mean-spirited-ness (?) that gets me. I don’t understand it.

In a rumour from Tizuyan ((x) - this is the second tizuyan post that I linked at the end of the second to last section) she writes: “Bryke despise Zutara.”

 This would certainly explain why Zuko and Katara hardly ever seem to have positive interactions in any of the material beyond Avatar’s original series, that is if they even interact at all.

(See Bryan’s out-of-nowhere response to the neutral question, “Can we expect a reunion for the returning characters from The Last Airbender [in Legend of Korra]?” which was:

“As far as a date night between Katara and Zuko, I think you are going to have to stick to the fan art for that." (x) (Not sure if there was any more to this answer or not; I can’t find the original interview, though I know I remember seeing it way back when.)

It would also explain the contents of this rumour (courtesy of Zephyrita) (x) regarding the writing, or re-writing, of ‘The Southern Raiders’ episode.

And it would explain Bryan’s infamous, “Come on kids! ‘Zutara’ never would have lasted! It was just dark and intriguing” comment. (x)

What it wouldn’t explain is the even more infamous video that Bryke debuted at 2008 San Diego Comic Con, and which Bryan (who really seems to be the main instigator in all of this, apparently) has since reposted to his own tumblr account: (x)

You know, the one where Bryke mock Zutara fans with their own fanart and say that “Women who think that Zuko and Katara should be together will forever have doomed relationships.” Yeah.

I have no further comments on it other than what’s already been written in the reblogs linked above.

(And all this is all the more frustrating when Bryan himself seems to have had a slight change of heart when it comes to the ‘DNA of the show’ and writes in late 2014 in a post on The Legend of Korra: “Personally, at that point I didn’t want Korra to have to end up with someone at the end of series. We obviously did it in Avatar, but even that felt a bit forced to me.” (x) (Like, HUH?! Since when?!)

-----------

| [Aaron Ehasz Again + Final Thoughts On The Kataraandzuko “Interview”] |

Meanwhile, Aaron himself painstakingly tends to avoid discussing Zutara, unless it’s brought up to him directly, in which case he usually just gives a wishy-washy answer about how he tries not to actively ship any characters. Though, we will go into an interview that’s slightly more interesting than this in a little bit.

First, I must bring to everyone’s attention a video that it seems no one else has noticed, as the post only had 4 notes on it at the time of writing this. (x)

Here is Aaron Ehasz at a comic con in 2006, which I believe would be sometime before season 2 had finished airing, showing the audience various ships from the show (most of them ridiculous) before at the end getting to Maiko (called Maizu), Kataang, and lastly (which I feel is significant)… Zutara.

This really appears to me to be Aaron showing the audience the ‘serious ships’ under the guise of this being just some funny game, and using the strength of the cheers from the crowd as a way to gauge interest for a potential endgame ship. Either for his own purposes… or for the purpose of possibly convincing someone else. I interpreted this video this way even before I just re-watched it while writing this post and realized that Aaron actually says this directly:

“We really want to hear what you have to say. I want you to know you have a lot of influence and power right now… ‘cause your, your cheers or boos will really… affect it.”

And I think it might make sense to combine this with the rumours here (x) about the supposed lecture at Berkeley where Aaron once flippantly remarked that Zutara couldn’t happen because it “would have made the six year olds cry” and the rumours by jhenne-bean herself, the one who claimed to have been at that lecture, who gives more context here (x):

“GURL IT WAS TOTALLY 50/50 even during the last season.

Actually, Nick execs pushed Kataang.

Because without it (according to one of the head writers that came and spoke to my class last semester) the “six year olds would cry.” Obviously that’s not the sole reasoning behind their decisions, but the intended demographic did sway the final outcome.”

(So, based on all this, I’m thinking that Aaron was probably a little disappointed in that video above when the Zutara cheers didn’t overpower the Kataang ones. [So am I, Aaron. So am I.])

-----------

Now, the only actual filmed interview with Aaron Ehasz about Avatar that I know of is this one: (x) in 2019, where he’s asked questions by fans. Yes, Zutara is brought up, though the surprising part is it’s seemingly at Aaron’s own prompting. For that reason and others I find this interview to be very interesting; I actually did a breakdown of it here (x), which I encourage everyone to consider.

If you’ve read through that breakdown, or just watched the video in question, you will have seen that the “fake” interview from before (x) was once again brought up. I put the word ‘fake’ in quotes because that’s how Aaron appeared to refer to it in the interview – with air quotes. And so now it’s time for my speculation on this “fake” interview:

I think it’s fairly clear that Aaron does not want (or, for some reason feels unable to (?)) speak freely regarding his opinions on how the relationships of Avatar did (or did not) play out. I think it’s safe to say he has avoided saying anything ‘on the books’ that would place him at odds with Bryke (though that post about M Night wanting to focus on season 4 and Bryke wanting to focus on the movie cut it pretty close) or put him on a definitive side of the shipping war, one way or another.

That’s why it makes sense to me that a rumour on the internet that wasn’t just any rumour, but was written in such a way so that it looked like an official *interview*, with Aaron’s name appearing before statements supposedly attributable to him and everything, would be something he’d want to make sure everyone knew was not actually official. If that conversation between kataraandzuko and Aaron actually happened, he would have believed it to be, at the time, a private conversation. He never would have intended for the person he was talking to to post their conversation and make it look like he said these things on the official record.

So, yeah, despite Aaron calling that post out specifically, I think it’s still plausible that that conversation could have actually happened and that kataraandzuko wasn’t lying. Her (?) original tags even say to take it with a grain of salt since it was written from memory.

And notice the line, “I wanted Aang to defeat Ozai and go through some emotional turmoil after taking the Fire Lord's bending.” Sound familiar?

Here’s another variation of one of kataraandzuko’s posts from before (x) where they talk more in depth about being an intern at Nick and what they saw behind the scenes of Avatar, even admitting, “Haha, it’s not hard getting an internship at Nickelodeon. They’re not strict and they accepted me on my first attempt. You just have to be a university student with a lot of motivation.”

(And witness at the end of the post another defensive-Bryke-Bryan example.)

Could all their posts be lies? Sure. But they always seemed credible enough to me. And given everything else we’ve gone over, can you really say anything they posted sounds all that crazy?

So, for your consideration, here’s my tag of all ‘kataraandzuko’s posts: (x)

-----------

| [Summary of All Rumours] |

Also, for your consideration, now that we’ve got all the context behind us, is this post which lists every major piece of gossip about what season 4 would have included had Bryke the universe allowed it to exist: (x)

And a post which I think perfectly encapsulates everything here and my final stance on it: (x)

----------

...And so. We should be all caught up now. 

I hope this post will be useful to anyone who’s confused about the little bits and pieces of things you might have come across or heard regarding season 4 or zutara or Aaron Ehasz or supposed conspiracies. (Or to anyone who just got tired of seeing everyone else, confused, talking about it this way, without the full context.)

If there’s anything major that you feel I missed here, feel free to let me know and I’ll consider adding it in. Otherwise, enjoy the show, enjoy your ship, and I hope you enjoyed reading. Goodbye, everybody! 😊

#Zutara #zukoxkatara #Zuko x Katara #Avatar #Avatar: The Last Airbender #the masterpost #I can't believe I missed posting this in time for Zutara month by two days #I say 'goodbye' at the end of this because now that I've posted it I'm kind of done with this blog #so don't bother following this account I probably won't post anything else beyond today #I've said all I really wanted to say on the topic; though we'll see what happens in a year or so when that adult Gaang movie comes out

[des111ree]

·˚ ༘"Just Wanted To" // OMINIS GAUNT -------------------------------

Pairings: ominis gaunt x f!reader

Promt: " 'how many men have you kissed?' - 'very few.' - 'but you offered me a kiss, why?' - 'such a foolish reason, i'm afraid. i just.. wanted to kiss you.' "

A/N: this is just a lil sappyish fluff w ominis.. I’m publishing this half-assed as hell because I haven’t posted in weeks and just wanted to give SOMETHING. I’ve not been in a writing mood I have so many half finished drafts rn that imma be getting to soon. This is a very rushed lil one shot I was really just desperate to get something small out there so I apologize if this one don’t do it for y’all smh I swear my writing can be better and IT WILL BE !!!

✩

Sebastian had left only a few minutes ago, I and Ominis sat against the cold wall of the undercroft in silence.

It isn’t awkward. It’s nice. It’s comforting. Though, being in Ominis’ presence was always comforting, regardless.

“Hey, Ominis.” I speak up, missing the voice of him. How he always sounded so lovely and graceful, regardless the words escaping his mouth.

“Hey, y/n.” He responds shortly after, causing me to turn my face toward him, examining his state.

His face was straight and emotionless, but I could see the exhaust behind his eyes. He wasn’t wearing his robe anymore, and his suit jacket was rolled up a bit, along with his white undershirt.

He had just barely finished studying in here a while before Sebastian had left. He started last night nonstop, the circles in his eyes proving his little to no sleep. Always in a book, he is. Though this years more intense, for the N.E.W.T.S coming up.

I move my hands on the floor of both sides of my hips, then lifting my bottom up slightly as I scoot in front of him.

He has one leg up, his knee to his chest, the other out lazily in front of him. His arm was resting on his knee as he attempted to keep himself awake and mind less foggy.

I stop myself in front of him, sitting criss-crossed. “Have you ever fancied anyone, Ominis?” The thoughts been in my mind as of lately, attempting to imagine Ominis being a romantic. Truthfully, the thought causes my stomach to flip.

I look at his face, him turning his head to the side in thought. “That I would not be able to give a simple answer to.” He responds, his eyes seemingly reverting down. I hum in response, having him add onto his answer.

“It’s different for me. Not simply for I’m blind, but because I’m frankly unsure of it.”

“Is that so?” I respond in a question, and he moves his face toward my voice. “I mean.. I’ve gotten flustered over some remarks my way from women, but I’ve never felt my feelings linger, and especially not for anyone specific. So no, not exactly.”

I smile softly. I love hearing of Ominis‘s personal feelings and or thoughts, for he isn’t very open toward them. Though it is late at night, and we’re tired, alone. Now’s some of the only times he’ll talk much about himself, unless it’s absolutely necessary.

I’m so, so interested in Ominis and his thoughts. Everything of him, and what goes on in his mind.

“Well, I know girls have had their fair share of fancies on you. What’s that like?”

“Oh, please. Don’t act like you don’t know what it’s like to be fancied.” He scoffs, rolling his eyes and looking away again.

I smile toward his words, looking down as I scoff a small giggle.

“Fine, next question then.” I look up at him and see a lazy smile plastered over his face as well, looking down and slowly fiddling with his fingers. I part my legs and scoot closer into him, my legs on either side of his one which is up, wrapping my arms around his calf.

“How about… Have you ever been kissed by a girl before?” My smile is clear through my tone, questioning him as though we are teenage girls giggling and gossiping in the dorm alone on a late night.

I bite the bottom of my lip, concealing my rather broad smile, attempting not to giggle. I don’t know what it is but I’m filled with joy speaking to him of such personal matters, knowing he’s not uncomfortable from it. Ominis isn’t afraid to brush people off when he is, so he would’ve said something by now if he was.

“I have not.”

I hum. “By a man?” I tease, and his eyes slightly broaden, looking toward my direction then back down at the ground in a flush. He slightly stammers, unaware of how to respond to that. I merely giggle in response, causing him to exhale. “I’ve not once been snogged.” He finds his words, but the thoughts in his head make it clear on his face, so I stay silent in case he decides to add onto his response. Which he does.

“Many wish to, you know?”

“Many men?”

His face shoots my way again, my smile growing larger.

“People.” He responds sternly, yet also in a teasing matter. I let out a giggle as he continues.

“They presume it’d be something of which gains them admiration, as if I’m some sort of toy, a rare object. Kiss the blind boy and you’ll favor top admired.” His sarcastic sentence trails off due to his yawn, shaking his head slowly.

“They’re entirely focusing on the wrong things of which you possess.”

“Apparently, I’ve no other interesting traits.” He scoffs, as I do in return.

“You can’t believe such things??” I respond in disbelief, causing him to avert himself toward my direction again.

“I could go on forever of everything you possess charming.”

“Charming?”

I hum again in response, then leaning forward and resting my cheek on his knee, my arms still wrapped around his calf.

There’s silence. We’re both clearly in thought.

“Never kissed, huh?” I return to our past conversation, but my mind is still on the fact he doesn’t believe he could genuinely be liked. I like him. I more than like him.

He shakes his head. “Emphasis on ‘never’ .”

I stare in silence, thinking of how lovely it would be to kiss Ominis… Causing bad, bad moves.

“Could I kiss you?” I blurt out, not entirely thinking through my words.. Yet entirely at the same time.

After a small pause, I lift my head up to examine his face in a slight panic. His face is stained red, a rather panicked expression on as well. I gnaw at the bottom of my lip in anticipation.

“Though, It’d be hard not to brag about it.” I fill the silence, referring back to our past conversation. “Just not for the reasons you’d think.” I rest my chin on his knee as I speak, looking up at his face in admiration. I can lightly feel his breath barely touch my face, and I just smile. I love being able to admire every inch of his features, every curve and every mole. He was perfect. I want to count every speckle on his face with my lips. With a kiss.

“How many men have you kissed?” He asks after the silence, not looking toward me. I inhale deeply as I look up in thought. I sigh as I answer. “Very few.”

“As few as I?” He teases, but his tone is serious. I hum again in response, him taking it as a yes.

“But-.. You offered me a kiss.. Why?” He genuinely asks, his face then turning toward mine. His eyebrows are very slightly curved, his eyes big and pure. My heart skips a few beats, forcing myself a nervous blink.

I inhale deeply, lifting my chin off of his knee. “Hmm.” I start, fiddling with the hem of his pants. I don’t look up at him. I’m aware he can’t see me, but it’s embarrassing saying it to his face either way.

“Such a foolish reason, I’m afraid.” I sigh. “I just,” I shrug before continuing, nerves rising. “-wanted to kiss you.”

I stammer, attempting to get the word ‘wanted’ out. This was so terrifying simply for the way I was afraid this is a conversation we were not tired enough to forget and get over. I can now only hope this doesn’t jeopardize our friendship.

My heart rate speeds, noticing his chest beating harder, indicating his breath had gotten heavier. His face was purely blushed out, the point of his ears as red as his cheeks. I watch his face in continuous awe. “You’re perfect.” I say, almost breathlessly, the beauty of his face robbing me of my breath. I frankly don’t know when to stop.

I clear my throat, adding onto what I said, feeling it sounded awkward alone. “Who wouldn’t want to kiss you.” I say so quietly in an awkward chuckle it’s almost a mumble, as if it were strictly for my own ears, but the raise of his eyebrows and deep exhale from his mouth shows he certainly heard me.

It’s quiet.

I merely let the time pass, sitting in this agonizing silence.

“I think I am sure of it.” He says randomly, making my eyebrows thread in thought, unsure what he’s referring to.

“I’m sure I’ve fancied someone now.” He continues, and now I understand.

“Ooo, let’s get you a cake.” I smile, teasing him. He smiles a scoff, shaking his head.

It goes silent as we both gather our thoughts.

“I meant it, you know.” I let out, feeling as though it’s time he about knew my thoughts. Possibly if all goes wrong in this conversation we could just forget about it. Maybe I’ll say I’ve been sneaking a few swigs of a flask the past few hours.

“Good, some cake sounds nice.” He jokes, thinking I was too. He’s unaware of what part I was referring to.

I giggle once with my throat, shaking my head. “No, Ominis.” My smile is clearly in my tone, not leaving my face either. I straighten my back out and continue messing with the hem of his pants.

“I meant it.”

The silence is there, but doesn’t last long enough to make it awkward. He was simply in thought.

“Care to specify?” He says almost hesitantly, as if he knew exactly what I was rambling on about, just wanted to hear it from me for clarification.

“Hm.” I scoff with a smile. “I really, truly think you’re beautiful-“

“Beautiful, was it?” He budges in, causing me to snort, the same smile on my face, just broadening.

“Perfect.” I correct, gazing up into his gorgeous pale eyes.

His teaseful smile fades, but not sadly.

“Truly perfect.” I add on slightly breathless, admiring his face yet again. I really can’t get enough.

He avoids my direction, looking down and to the side, seeming as though he’s fighting away swarming thoughts and attempting to slow his heart rate or breathing.

“And I really do want to kiss you,” I finish, quitting moving my fingers along his pant hem.

I rest them there for a moment, weakening my grip along his pants which causes my hand to fall and graze just above his ankle. My hand is softly rested around his leg as if holding it, but not in the weird way you’d imagine.

My other hand grasps his sock gently, no tight grips enlisted. Just soft, subtly and friendly touches. Friendly?? Maybe.

I scoot myself more toward his leg, the side of his foot stopping me from being able to scoot anymore into him, the both of my legs still around each side of his right one.

His head softly turns toward me at the skin to skin contact of one of my hands just above his sock. He looks worried yet not at all. A kind of nervous and innocence over his face.

“Say something.” I whisper in an almost plead, the unbearing silence making it harder to sit in.

“I’m trying.” He responds lowly, the cat still ahold of his tongue.

I make a noise, almost a sort of whimper, as I drop my hands away from his ankle. I lean forward toward him a bit, slowly and very hesitantly bringing my hand up to his head. I brush a singular dangling hair from in front of his face, him lifting his head up a bit more toward the touch.

My eyes struggle between watching his eyes or his lips, or, frankly any and all of his features, driving me to lean my face in more. My fingers completely brush past his hair, but my hand continues slowly to the side of his head the closer I lean in.

“But I’ve never-“ he begins to slightly panic, stammering in a small whisper.

“Me neither.” I cut him off in a shared whisper, now close enough to feel his breath beginning to meet and graze across my mouth.

“I thought-“ he starts, and I bring my hand over his, softly guiding it up to my face so he knows where I am. I interrupt him again. I interrupt him with a hard press of my lips against his, which he doesn’t wait long to return. I slip my hand off of his, him keeping his on my cheek, his fingers parted between my ear.

The kiss was slow and short at first, us both slightly backing away to catch our breath. Our foreheads still touch, and his hand is slowly making its way to the back of my head. My hand is now rested on the back side of his neck.

Though before either of us got the chance to speak up or breathe enough to refill our lungs completely, he quickly leans into my face and kisses me this time, it being harder and more passionate than before.

I make a noise, a muffled hum, into this kiss due to the unexpected aggression, instantly kissing him back. My lips curl into a smile as his are still pressed against mine, us deepening the kiss a tad.

I giggle, it then causing us to break apart. My heart is beating at the speed of light, my cheeks rather burned up. Giggles bubble in my chest, my attempt to controlling them being unsuccessful.

“What’s so funny?” He asks, but not seriously. His lips attempts to hide back his smile, but he can’t fight that either.

“Nothing, I’m just happy.” I giggle again, then bringing both my hands to cup his face and kiss his nose.

#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #hogwarts #fanfiction #hl #hogwarts fluff #hogwarts legacy fanfic #hogwarts legacy ff #Ominis Gaunt #Ominis ff #Ominis Gaunt ff #ominis gaunt fanfiction #Hogwarts Legacy Ominis #HL Ominis #hogwarts legacy x reader #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #Fluff #Ominis gaunt fluff #how many men have you kissed? #the undercroft

[karinta-agogobell-unified]

Five underappreciated anime that I would recommend!

1. Canaan (2009)

This is, from what I understand, an adaptation of a side-story chapter for the visual novel series 428: Shibuya Scramble, guest-written by Nasu Kinoko and guest-illustrated by Takeuchi Takashi. That is to say, the Type-Moon guys — the creators of Tsukihime, Kara no Kyoukai, and the now-legendary Fate/Stay Night. However, Canaan doesn’t take place in the Type-Moon shared universe(s), since it’s for another company’s property.

That being said, the anime adaptation is quite comprehensible on its own terms, likely due to the adaptation being written by the prolific and highly skilled screenwriter Okada Mari (Hanasaku Iroha, O Maidens In Your Savage Season, Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans, Maquia). Her writing imbues the narrative with enough emotional intensity to make up for the occasionally-convoluted nature of the plot, and the backstories of the characters are hinted at just enough so that the viewer can understand their relevance, without taking up too much precious screen time. It can be a little hard to follow at points, but I ended up understanding it decently well anyway.

The production values are very high indeed, due to the anime being produced by P.A. Works, and directed by Andoh Masahiro (Sword of the Stranger, Hanasaku Iroha, O Maidens In Your Savage Season). The action animation is consistently stunning, the characters are beautifully expressive, and the overall look of the show is fantastic.

And the voice acting is an absolute treat, with the lead role of Canaan herself taken by Sawashiro Miyuki, the antagonist role of Alphard taken by Sakamoto Maaya, and Nanjou Yoshino in the role of Oosawa Maria, the POV character for a lot of the story. The supporting voice cast is packed with talent too — Hamada Kenji, Tanaka Rie, Nakata Jouji, Tomatsu Haruka, Hirata Hiroaki, Noto Mamiko, and even Ootsuka Akio in a minor role!

The premise is sort of a science fiction type of thing, but set in the (quasi-)contemporary location of 2000s China, where outside of the sci-fi conceit, the setting is largely realistic. The tone and mood is mostly that of an action thriller, with some nail-biting suspense here and there, but there are some beautifully soft and tender moments as well — often involving Canaan and Maria. Yes, folks, this has yuri in it, although it’s (strongly) subtextual.

Anyway, I would recommend this to people who love Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex, Kara no Kyoukai, Fate/Zero, and probably also Cowboy Bebop.

2. Tetsuwan Birdy OVAs (1996)

This is distinct from the later adaptation of the original Tetsuwan Birdy (Birdy the Mighty) manga, called Tetsuwan Birdy Decode, which came out in the late 2000s — this one came out in 1996 and was produced by Studio Madhouse in their prime.

The main characters are Senkawa Tsutomu (voiced by Iwanaga Tetsuya), a hapless teenager who gets accidentally killed(!) by an alien spaceship on his way to school one day, and Birdy Cephon Altirra (voiced by Mitsuishi Kotono), a human-looking alien and an intergalactic government agent who saves Tsutomu by merging her body with his. Effectively, they become two people in one body, which can shift between the forms of Birdy and Tsutomu…. except Birdy still needs to deal with all the rogue aliens who threaten the safety of the galaxy, while Tsutomu needs to study for his high school entrance exams. From what I’ve been told, the premise is fairly reminiscent of Ultraman and other classic tokusatsu series.

It’s four tight episodes of classic ‘90s OVA goodness, with a fun and slightly silly sci-fi concept that is nonetheless wrung for some surprisingly effective drama at times. The main thrust of it, though, is action comedy — and it definitely delivers on that front. The fight scenes are superbly animated, including some early-career work from now-legendary animator Suzuki Norimitsu, and the character designs by Takahashi Kumiko (Witch Hunter Robin, Snow White with the Red Hair, Cardcaptor Sakura) are amazingly expressive. Birdy’s striking asymmetrical design is a particular favourite of mine. The direction by Kawajiri Yoshiaki (Cyber City Oedo 808, Ninja Scroll, Vampire Hunter D) is solid, and the writing is quite serviceable despite the brevity and premise.

Overall, I wouldn’t say it’s much of an intellectual watch, but if you just want a fun action-comedy ride with an extremely charismatic female protagonist and stunning animation quality, Tetsuwan Birdy is likely to be your jam. I’d recommend it to people who enjoy classic tokusatsu series, the original ‘90s Sailor Moon anime, and the less-depressing parts of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

3. Noir (2001)

This anime series is perhaps not as underappreciated as the others on this list, but I do still feel that not enough people have seen it. It was made by the studio Bee Train, and it’s the first entry in their so-called “Girls with Guns” trilogy (which isn’t actually a coherent trilogy, since they’re three different stories). The series was made right at the end of the cel-anime era, before the transition to digital colouring and compositing, so the masters were shot on film, but it was also made at the beginning of the slow transition to widescreen TV broadcasts, so it’s one of the very rare cel anime that’s in 16:9. This allows for a beautifully detailed look that, IMO, serves to offset the occasionally-limited animation and the frequent re-use of footage.

The premise is basically “secret assassins in France are caught up in weird intrigue and conspiracies”; as such, there’s a lot of very fun gunplay and kickass fight scenes, but also a lot of suspense and mystery. The writing is a little bit slipshod at times, but it ends up holding together, and the characters and (especially) the fantastically moody vibe make the show worth watching.

The characters are imbued with a lot of life and colour, both by their extremely attractive designs and by their voice actors’ wonderful performances. Mireille Bouquet, a young Corsican assassin and one of the two protagonists, is voiced by Mitsuishi Kotono; Yuumura Kirika, the other main protagonist who is a Japanese schoolgirl who has seemingly lost all her memories (but not her exceptional assassin skills), is voiced by Kuwashima Houko; and the mysterious Chloe, who shows up partway through the show, is voiced by Hisakawa Aya. There are definite yuri vibes between Mireille and Kirika, but as with Canaan, it’s all subtextual.

The main draw of the show, though, is its phenomenal soundtrack, courtesy of Kajiura Yuki (.hack//Sign, Kara no Kyoukai, Fate/Zero, Sword Art Online, Demon Slayer) in her very first anime scoring gig. It’s at times propulsive, at times dark and moody, at times beautifully serene, at times melancholy and nostalgic — and it’s utterly memorable.

I would recommend Noir to anyone who likes Canaan, Witch Hunter Robin, Ghost in the Shell, or anyone who just wishes that James Bond were a woman.

4. Flip Flappers (2016)

This anime was produced at Studio 3Hz and directed by Oshiyama Kiyotaka, in a dazzling yet underappreciated directorial debut that was presaged by his impressive animation work on Dennou Coil, Space Dandy, A Letter to Momo, The Secret World of Arietty, and The Wind Rises. Owing to this extremely solid animation background, Oshiyama was able to recruit a lot of prime animation talent for Flip Flappers, and it definitely shows in the stunning sakuga of the wild action sequences that pepper the show’s narrative.

While the fantastic animation is a key draw of this show, the sheer creativity in the worldbuilding, conceptual, and visual design spheres also contribute to its inimitably psychedelic look and feel. The landscapes of the worlds contained in Pure Illusion — the dream-realm that the protagonists enter each episode at the behest of a mysterious scientific organisation — and of the “real” world are whimsical, storybook-like, and slightly “off” in a slightly unsettling but compelling way.

The dreamlike atmosphere pervades the narrative as well — very little about the mechanics of the world is specified out loud, relying heavily on symbolism and visual storytelling to do the heavy lifting for the audience’s understanding. This might be a turn-off for audiences who prefer to have things spelled out for them clearly, but the point of this story is not always to make perfect logical sense, but rather to work on an emotional and metaphorical level. And work, it certainly does.

The episodic structure involving the various worlds of Pure Illusion explores the concept of the Umwelt (the individual sensory “world” of a person or organism), as well as some Jungian concepts and archetypes, in order to express the strange and sometimes-scary developmental stage of adolescence. The characters of Cocona (voiced by Takahashi Minami) and Papika (voiced by Ichimichi Mao) undergo a metaphorical and literal puberty, a coming-of-age similar in some ways to that experienced by the protagonist of FLCL, but with significantly more yuri. In fact, this show has the most outright yuri of any of the anime on this list. But that isn’t very strange for what is essentially a psychedelic magical-girl show: lots of magical-girl anime seem to include homoerotic vibes in some form or another, from Sailor Moon to Nanoha to Madoka.

There are some minor flaws in the storytelling towards the end, IMO, but overall it’s a wonderfully impactful emotional journey to watch Flip Flappers. Plus, the OP and ED are both extraordinarily catchy tunes that I’ve found myself humming on many an occasion.

I’d recommend this anime to anyone who loves weird magical-girl stuff, weird yuri, and/or amazing action animation.

5. Claymore (2007)

An adaptation of the manga by Yagi Norihiro, this anime is considered by many to simply be “basic”, or at least simply “inferior to the manga”. Now. I haven’t read the original Claymore manga (yet! I plan to eventually), but I found this anime to be compelling nonetheless. And if it really is the case that the manga is better, then I definitely look forward to diving in.

Having been produced by Studio Madhouse in the mid-2000s, it’s unsurprising that the vast majority of this anime was outsourced to Korean animation studio DR Movie, a longtime powerhouse subcontractor for both Japanese and American animation alike. That said, the direction of Tanaka Hiroyuki (director of a portion of Hellsing Ultimate and frequent close collaborator of Attack on Titan director Araki Tetsurou) remains sharp, compensating for the sometimes-limited animation with good storyboarding and a strong sense of mood and atmosphere.

Another aspect of Claymore which helps make up for the occasional visual shortcomings is the soundtrack by Takumi Masanori. The compositions are a mix of harder rock and electronic elements with a strong orchestral backbone, as befits a dark-fantasy setting and mood — the faster pieces are edgy and propulsive, very appropriate for the bloody action scenes, and the calmer pieces have a melancholic beauty to them that sticks in one’s memory. I wish the soundtrack were on Spotify, but alas, it is not.

The other sonic element that helps this anime out immensely is its absolutely STACKED voice cast. The main character, Clare, is voiced by Kuwashima Houko, in a fantastic yet understated performance. The other main character, Raki, is voiced by the less-well-known Takagi Motoki, but nearly all the other roles — including many bit parts — are filled with industry legends. Teresa is voiced by Park Romi, Miria is voiced by Inoue Kikuko, Irene is voiced by Takayama Minami, Rubel is voiced by Hirata Hiroaki, Priscilla is voiced by Hisakawa Aya, Ophelia is voiced by Shinohara Emi, and Jean (whom I cannot help but ship with Clare: there’s so much homoerotic tension there!) is voiced by none other than Mitsuishi Kotono. Yes, they got three of the original Sailor Senshi VAs — and I don’t know why that’s funny to me, but it is. And all of the voice actors deliver killer performances.

The premise of the show, before I completely forget to explain it, is that of a dark fantasy world where demons called youma ravage human settlements, with only the titular Claymores to protect humanity. They are a guild of platinum-haired and silver-eyed warrior women who possess superhuman fighting abilities, due to the fact that they’ve been fused with youma essence, and wield the massive broadswords that give them their name. Basically, (s)he who fights monsters must become (partly) a monster to do so.

I’ve heard the vibe of Claymore compared to manga like Berserk, and I don’t know how true that is (not having read the latter for myself), but there’s certainly a lot of bleakness and monstrosity in this fantasy tale. However, the Claymore manga was published in none other than Weekly Shounen Jump, so it’s perhaps unsurprising that the story remains resolutely forward-looking, the protagonists’ arcs focussing on the power of grit, determination, true friendship and loyalty, and protection of the weak and downtrodden. It’s never cynical or sarcastic — always straightforward and sincere despite the frequent darkness of the story.

The writing is consistently solid, even through the controversial anime-original ending (the manga continues long past the point where the anime cut things off), so I’m not sure who to point to for that: Yagi Norihiro for writing the original material, or Kobayashi Yuuko (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Attack on Titan s1-3, Kakegurui, Casshern Sins) for adapting it cleanly for the screen? Either way, it made me want to read the manga to experience more of these compelling characters and their travails.

I would recommend this anime to those who enjoy Kill La Kill or RWBY, or just to those who enjoy powerful women hacking at monsters with massive weapons and making lots of blood spray out.

#anime recommendation #anime recs #flip flappers #tetsuwan birdy #birdy the mighty #claymore #noir #noir 2001 #canaan #long post #personal #anime

[winterr77]

ੈ✩ importance of sleep

Hello angels 💗🎀 I’ve been struggling with my sleep schedule lately so I’m writing this to remind and help anyone who is in the same dilemma as me~

Sleep is critical for a healthy mind and body, so prioritise your sleep before anything else for a balanced lifestyle !!

Below is information from a Harvard blog:

According to the National Sleep Foundation, high school students (ages 14-17) need about eight to 10 hours of sleep each night. For young adults (ages 18 to 25), the range is need between seven and nine hours. However most don’t follow this expectation and therefore experience many negative consequences.

Signs of chronic sleep deprivation include:

🎀Daytime sleepiness and fatigue

🎀Irritability and short temper

🎀Mood changes

🎀Trouble coping with stress

🎀Difficulty focusing, concentrating, and remembering

🎀Brain fog

🎀Weight gain and obesity

🎀Cardiovascular disease

🎀Type 2 diabetes.

Students who prioritize sleep are better able to cope with the stress that comes with being an active student.

“It’s a vicious circle where the more stressed you get, the less you sleep, and the less you sleep, the more stressed you get. And in the long term, that can lead to serious psychiatric problems,” says Dr. Edward Pace-Schott, Harvard Summer School and Harvard Medical School faculty member and sleep expert.

In the worst case scenario, the combination of lack of sleep and stress can lead to mental health disorders such as depression, general anxiety disorder, and potentially even post-traumatic stress disorder.

Tips for getting more sleep as a student

The key to getting a good night’s sleep is establishing healthy sleep habits, also known as sleep hygiene.

The first step is deciding to make sleep a priority.

Staying ahead of coursework and avoiding distractions and procrastination while you study is key to avoiding the need for late night study sessions. And prioritizing sleep may mean leaving a party early or choosing your social engagements carefully.

Yet the reward—feeling awake and alert the next morning—will reinforce that positive choice.

The next step is establishing healthy bedtime and daytime patterns to promote good quality sleep.

Pace-Schott offers the following tips on steps you can take to create healthy sleep hygiene:

🎀Limit caffeine in close proximity to bed time. College students should also avoid alcohol intake, which disrupts quality sleep.

🎀Avoid electronic screens (phone, laptop, tablet, desktop) within an hour of bedtime.

🎀Engage in daily physical exercise, but avoid intense exercise within two hours of bedtime.

🎀Establish a sleep schedule. Be as consistent as possible in your bedtime and rise time, and get exposure to morning sunlight.

🎀Establish a “wind-down” routine prior to bedtime.

🎀Limit use of bed for daily activities other than sleep (e.g., TV, work, eating)

Good luck angels

~winter

ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚

#aesthetic #sleep #self love #college #law of assumption #manifestation #law of manifestation #self care #studying #studyspo #study motivation #it girl #pink pilates girl #green juice girl #dream girl #girlblogging #health & fitness #college life #college student #university #healthy lifestyle #self improvement #self concept #self development #self growth #happiness #healthy #sleep schedule

[dustedmagazine]

Listening Post: Kim Gordon

Kim Gordon has long been one of rock’s female icons, one of a tiny handful of women to get much play in Michael Azzerad’s underground-defining Our Band Could Be Your Life and a mainstay in the noise-rock monolith Sonic Youth. It’s hard to imagine that quintessential dude rock band without Gordon in front, dwarfed by her bass or spitting tranced out, pissed off verses over the storm of feedback.

Yet Gordon’s trajectory has been, if anything, even more fascinating since Sonic Youth’s demise in 2011. A visual artist first — she studied art at the Otis College of Art and Design before joining the band — she continues to paint and sculpt and create. She’s had solo art shows at established galleries in London and New York, most recently at the 303 Gallery in New York City. A veteran of indie films including Gus van Zant’s Last Days and Todd Haynes I’m Not There, she has also continued to act sporadically, appearing in the HBO series Girls and on an episode of Portlandia. Her memoir, Girl in a Band, came out in 2015.

But Gordon has remained surprisingly entrenched in indie music over the last decade. Many critics, including a few at Dusted, consider her Body Head, collaboration with Bill Nace the best of the post-Sonic Youth musical projects. The ensemble has now produced two EPs and three full-lengths. Gordon has also released two solo albums, which push her iconic voice into noisier, more hip hop influenced directions. We’re centering this listening post around The Collective, Gordon’s second and more recent solo effort, which comes out on Matador on March 8th, but we’ll likely also be talking about her other projects as well.

Intro by Jennifer Kelly

Jennifer Kelly: I missed No Home in 2019, so I was somewhat surprised by The Collective’s abrasive, beat-driven sound though I guess you could make connections to Sonic Youth’s Cypress Hill collaboration?

The more I listen to it, though, the more it makes sense to me. I’ve always liked the way Gordon plays with gender stereotypes, and “I’m a Man” certainly follows that trajectory. What are you guys hearing in The Collective?

Jonathan Shaw: I have only listened through the entire record once, but I am also struck by its intensities. Sort of silly to be surprised by that, given so many of the places she has taken us in the past: noisy, dangerous, dark. But there's an undercurrent of violence to these sounds that couples onto the more confrontational invocations and dramatizations of sex. It's a strong set of gestures. I like the record quite a bit.

Bill Meyer: I'm one of those who hold Body/Head to be the best effort of the post-Sonic Youth projects, but I'll also say that it's very much a band that creates a context for Gordon to do something great, not a solo effort. I was not so taken with No Home, which I played halfway through once upon its release and did not return to until we agreed to have this discussion. I've played both albums through once now, and my first impression is that No Home feels scattered in a classic post-band-breakup project fashion — “let's do a bit of this and that and see what sticks.” The Collective feels much more cohesive sonically, in a purposeful, “I'm going to do THIS” kind of way.

Jonathan Shaw: RE Jennifer's comment about “I'm a Man”: Agreed. The sonics are very noise-adjacent, reminding me of what the Body has been up to lately, or deeper underground acts like 8 Hour Animal or Kontravoid's less dancy stuff. Those acts skew masculine (though the Body has taken pains recently to problematize the semiotics of those photos of them with lots of guns and big dogs...). Gordon's voice and lyrics make things so much more explicit without ever tipping over into the didactic. And somehow her energy is in tune with the abrasive textures of the music, but still activates an ironic distance from it. In the next song, “Trophies,” I love it when she asks, “Will you go bowling with me?” The sexed-up antics that follow are simultaneously compelling and sort of funny. Rarely has bowling felt so eroticized.

Jennifer Kelly: I got interested in the beats and did a YouTube dive on some of the other music that Justin Raisen has been involved with. He's in an interesting place, working for hip hop artists (Lil Yachty, Drake), pop stars (Charli XCX) and punk or at least punk adjacent artists (Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Viagra Boys), but nothing I've found is as raw and walloping as these cuts.

“The Candy House” is apparently inspired by Jennifer Egan's The Candy House, which is about a technology that enables people to share memories... Gordon is pretty interested in phones and communications tech and how that's changing art and human interaction.

Andrew Forell: My immediate reaction to the beats was oh, The Bug and JK Flesh, in particular the MachineEPs by the former and Sewer Bait by the latter. Unsurprisingly, as Jonathan says, she sounds right at home within that kind of dirty noise but is never subsumed by it

Jennifer Kelly: I don't have a deep reference pool in electronics, but it reminded me of Shackleton and some of the first wave dub steppers. Also, a certain kind of late 1990s/early aughts underground hip hop like Cannibal Ox and Dalek.

Bryon Hayes: Yeah, I hear some Dalek in there, too. Also, the first Death Grips mixtape, Ex-Military.

It's funny, I saw the track title “I'm a Man,” and my mind immediately went to Bo Diddley for some reason, I should have known that Kim would flip the script, and do it in such a humorous way. I love how she sends up both the macho country-lovin’ bros and the sensitive metrosexual guys. It's brilliant!

This has me thinking about “Kool Thing”, and how Chuck D acts as the ‘hype man’ to Kim Gordon in that song. I'm pretty sure that was unusual for hip hop at the time. Kim's got a long history of messing with gender stereotypes.

Bill Meyer: Gordon did a couple videos for this record, and she starred her daughter Coco in both of them. The one for “I'm A Man” teases out elements of gender fluidity, how that might be expressed through clothing, and different kinds of watching. I found the video for “Bye Bye” more interesting. All the merchandise that's listed in the video turns out to be a survival kit, one that I imagine that Gordon would know that she has to have to get by. The protagonist of the video doesn't know that, and their unspoken moment in a car before Coco runs again was poignant in a way that I don't associate with her work. And of messing with hip hop!

Tim Clarke: “Bye Bye” feels like a companion to The Fall’s “Dr Buck’s Letter.”

Bill Meyer: From The Unutterable? I'll have to a-b them.

Tim Clarke: That’s the one.

Jonathan Shaw: All of these comments make me think of the record’s title, and the repeated line in “The Candy House”: “I want to join the collective.” Which one? The phone on the record’s cover nods toward our various digital collectives — spaces for communication and expression, and spaces for commerce, all of which seem to be harder and harder to tell apart. A candy house, indeed. Why is it pink? Does she have a feminine collective in mind? A feminine collective unconscious? The various voices and lyric modes on the record suggest that's a possibility. For certain women, and for certain men working hard to understand women, Gordon has been a key member of that collective for decades.

Jennifer Kelly: The title is also the title of a painting from her last show in New York.

The holes are cell phone sized.

You can read about the show here, but here's a representative quote: “The iPhone promises freedom, and control over communication,” she says. “It’s an outlet of self-expression, and an escape and a distraction from the bigger picture of what’s going on in the world. It’s also useful for making paintings.”

Gordon is a woman, and a woman over 70 at that — by any measure an underrepresented perspective in popular culture. However, I’d caution against reading The Collective solely as a feminist statement. “I'm a Man,” for instance, is told from the perspective of an incel male, an act of storytelling and empathy not propaganda. My sense is that Gordon is pretty sick of being asked, “What's it like to be a girl in a band?” (per “Sacred Trickster”) and would like, maybe, to be considered as an artist.

It's partly a generational thing. I'm a little younger than she is, but we both grew up in the patriarchy and mostly encountered gender as an external restriction.

As an aside, one of my proudest moments was when Lucas Jensen interviewed me about what it was like to be a freelance music writer, anonymously, and Robert Christgau wrote an elaborate critique of the piece that absolutely assumed I was a guy. If you're not on a date or getting married or booking reproductive care, whose business is it what gender you are?

There, that's a can of worms, isn't it?

Jonathan Shaw: Feminine isn't feminist. I haven't listened nearly closely enough to the record to hazard an opinion about that. More important, it seems to me the masculine must be in the feminine unconsciousness, and the other way around, too. Precisely because femininity has been used as a political weapon, it needs imagining in artistic spaces. Guess I also think those terms more discursively than otherwise: there are male authors who have demonstrated enormous facility with representing femininity. James, Joyce, Kleist, and so on. Gordon has always spoken and sung in ways that transcend a second-wave sort of feminine essence. “Shaking Hell,” “PCH,” the way she sings “I Wanna Be Your Dog.”

Jennifer Kelly: Sure, she has always been shape-shifter artistically.

The lyrics are super interesting, but almost obliterated by noise. I’m seeing a connection to our hyperconnected digital society where everything is said but it’s hard to listen and focus.

Bill Meyer: Concrete guy that I am, I’ve found myself wishing I had a lyric sheet even though her voice is typically the loudest instrument in the mix.

Andrew Forell: Yes, that sense of being subsumed in the white noise of (dis)information and opinion feels like the utopian ideal of democratizing access has become a cause and conduit of alienation in which the notion of authentic voices has been rendered moot. It feels integral to the album as a metaphor

Christian Carey: How much of the blurring of vocals (good lyrics — mind you) might involve Kim’s personal biography, I wonder? From her memoirs, we know how much she wished for a deflection of a number of things, most having to do with Thurston and the disbandment of SY.

Thurston was interviewed recently and said that he felt SY would regroup and be able to be professional about things. He remarked that it better be soon: SY at eighty wouldn’t be a good look!

Andrew Forell: And therein lies something essential about why that could never happen

Ian Mathers: I know I’m far in the minority here (and elsewhere) because I’ve just never found Sonic Youth that compelling, despite several attempts over the years to give them another chance. And for specifically finding Thurston Moore to be an annoying vocal presence (long before I knew anything about his personal life, for what it's worth). So, I’m in no hurry to see them reunite, although I do think it would be both funny and good if everyone except Moore got back together.

Having not kept up with Gordon much post-SY beyond reading and enjoying her book, I wasn’t sure what to expect from this record. After a couple of listens, I’m almost surprised how much I like it. Even though I’m lukewarm on SY’s music, she’s always been a commanding vocal presence and lyricist and that hasn’t changed here (I can echo all the praise for “I’m a Man,” and also “I was supposed to save you/but you got a job” is so bathetically funny) and I like the noisier, thornier backing she has here. I also think the parts where the record gets a bit more sparse (“Shelf Warmer”) or diffuse (“Psychic Orgasm”) still work. I've enjoyed seeing all the comparisons here, none of which I thought of myself and all of which makes sense to me. But the record that popped into my head as I listened was Dead Rider’s Chills on Glass. Similar beat focus, “thick”/distorted/noisy/smeared production, declamatory vocals. I like that record a lot, so it's not too surprising I'm digging this one.

Jennifer Kelly: I loved Sonic Youth but have zero appetite for the kind of nostalgia trip, just the hits reunion tour that getting back together would entail.

Jonathan Shaw: Yeah, no thanks to that.

RE Christian's comment: Not sure I see deflection so much as the impossibility of integration. We are all many, many selves, always have been. Digital communications interfaces and social media have just lifted it to another level of experience. Gordon sez, “I don't miss my mind.” Not so much a question of missing it in the emotional/longing sense, more so acknowledging that phrases like “my mind” have always been meaningless. Now we partition experience and identity into all of these different places, and we sign those pieces of ourselves over, to Zuck and the algorithms. We know it. We do it anyways, because it's the candy house, full of sweets and pleasures that aren't so good for us, but are really hard to resist. “Come on, sweets, take my hand...”

Bill Meyer: I would not mind hearing all of those SY songs I like again, can’t lie, although I don’t think that I’d spend Love Earth Tour prices to hear them. But given the water that has passed under the bridge personally, and the length of time since anyone in the band has collaborated creatively (as opposed to managing the ongoing business of Sonic Youth, which seems to be going pretty well), a SY reunion could only be a professionally presented piece of entertainment made by people who have agreed to put aside their personal differences and pause their artistic advancement in order to make some coin. There may be good reasons to prioritize finances. Maybe Thurston and/or Kim wants to make sure that they don’t show up on Coco’s front door, demanding to move their record or art collection into her basement, in their dotage. And Lee’s a man in his late 60s with progeny who are of an age to likely have substantial student loan debt. But The Community is just the kind of thing they’d have to pause. It feels like the work of someone who is still curious, questioning, commenting. It's not just trying to do the right commercial thing.

Justin Cober-Lake: I’m finding this one to be a sort of statement album. I’d stop short of calling it a concept album, but there seems to be a thematic center. I think a key element of the album is the way that it looks for... if not signal and noise, at least a sense of order and comprehensibility in a chaotic world. Gordon isn’t even passing judgment on the world — phones are bad, phones are good, phones make art, etc. But there’s a sense that our world is increasingly brutal, and we hear that not just in the guitars, but in the beats, and the production. “BYE BYE” really introduces the concept. Gordon’s leaving (and we can imagine this is autobiographical), but she’s organizing everything she needs for a new life. “Cigarettes for Keller” is a heartbreaking line, but she moves on, everything that makes up a life neatly ordered next to each other, iBook and medications in the same line. It reminds me of a Hemingway character locking into the moment to find some semblance of control in the chaos.

Getting back to gender, there’s a funny line at the end: one of the last things she packs is a vibrator. I'm not sure if we're to read this as a joke, a comment on the necessity of sexuality in a life full of transitory moments, as a foreshadowing of the concepts we’ve discussed, or something else. The next item (if it’s something different) is a teaser, which could be a hair care product or something sexual (playing off — or with — the vibrator). Everything's called into question: the seriousness of the track, the gender/sexuality ideas, what really matters in life. Modern gadgets, life-sustaining medicines, and sex toys all get equal rank. That tension really adds force to the song.

Coming out of “BYE BYE,” it's easy to see a disordered world that sounds extremely noisy, but still has elements we can comprehend within the noise. I don’t want to read the album reductively and I don't think it's all about this idea, but it's something that, early on in my listening, I find to be a compelling aspect of it.

#dusted magazine #listeningpost #kim gordon #the collective #jennifer kelly #jonathan shaw #bill meyer #andrew forell #bryon hayes #tim clarke #christian carey #ian mathers #justin cober-lake

[enm-enthusiast]

The Exhibitionists Club Ch. 5 Part 1 - Thomas

Author’s Note: Time for a little doctor-themed story! Also, watch out for George, he’s bad news for Thomas… 

Thomas

It was another lecture with my new Anatomy Professor, Ethan Rivers, and unfortunately for me I was doing poorly in his class ever since I failed to study hard enough for the first exam of the semester. It was my own fault, really, I had been out late the night before trying to find my clothes when Seb had them all scattered across my dorm building as his way of welcoming me on campus. Since then I’ve toned down my adventures and I threw myself into my studies to make up for it, and I’d made good progress so far but I’d be lucky to earn a B+ because the exams in this class counted for much of our grade. I was sitting there anxiously thinking of how I could possibly earn some sort of extra credit perhaps? I didn’t want to pass with a bad grade or worse fail one of my earliest college courses.

I turned my attention back to Professor Ethan, who by all accounts was regarded as one of the hottest on campus and…I agreed, he was still in his late 20’s and dressed very professionally in tight-fitting clothing that accentuated his well-endowed backside and displayed a prominent bulge as well, some of my classmates had a hard time concentrating because of that. Sometimes I did, too, especially because of the rumors…

I hated listening to gossip but a few rumors had spread around before they were silenced by the University administration that Professor Ethan was spotted one evening on campus, he had been fully naked and was being dragged along at night by two others. No one could prove any of it, yet nearly everyone had heard by this point but they kept quiet around the good professor since he was genuinely well-liked and was a fair teacher. Just then, as I brought myself out of my daydreaming I heard the professor say “and by the way, those of you interested in earning some extra credit, please stop by my office after class, but be warned it is an intensive study on human anatomy so don’t take it lightly” he said. I could hardly believe my luck! Of course, I had no idea what this ‘study’ was about and could be anything from exercise, muscle mass, or even…no, I’m sure they wouldn’t want to study that. Still didn’t stop a slight flush of my cheeks at the thought, but regardless I had to see if this was for real and if it could help raise my grade.

After that, the professor wrapped up his lecture with reminders of assigned reading and warnings about the upcoming midterm, which sent a shiver up my spine at the thought. I gathered up my notebooks and textbooks and packed them into my bag as the other students began to do the same and filed out of the classroom, one by one until only me and one other student remained, a rather short red-haired fellow named George, who seemed to eye the professor a lot but the professor barely paid any heed, at least on the surface. As soon as I began my approach towards Professor Ethan’s office George turned his gaze at me and I could feel his cold piercing eyes boring holes through my clothes, skin, my very being, it was really unsettling. Thankfully, his gaze didn’t last long and he quickly gathered his things up and got up to leave, but not before sparing one last glance at the professor. That guy’s a creep, something feels wrong about him I thought to myself.

I nearly lost my train of thought as Professor Ethan noticed my approach, and he eyed me up and down. For a split second I could have sworn I saw a glint in his eye, one that seemed…familiar somehow but he greeted me with a warm, professional smile. “Ah, Thomas. I thought you might stop by after class, I know you’ve been struggling ever since the first exam, don’t worry you weren’t the only one. In fact, you weren’t the worst either, it didn’t take much convincing to let the dean give me some extra credit otherwise half the class might fail” he said.

It made perfect sense, it did seem too good to be true in my case alone but if other students were struggling as well, all the better to take the opportunity. “Ah, yes ummm…yeah, I admit I could have done better on that test, and I’m trying my best but…this could really help sort things out” I said in response, my gaze refusing to lock onto his. I couldn’t deny that Professor Ethan was one of the hottest teachers I’d ever met, he was young enough to be a student still, and he had a medium but muscled build that made his light blue dress shirt cling to his torso, but his black dress pants did his magnificent backside justice, I admit….I got lost staring at it sometimes. Not to mention, he was standing at 6 '2 with cut short dark brown hair and green eyes, and had a square jawed face that made some of his students drool during class. It was hard to ignore my cock beginning to stir in my pants as I finished speaking.

“I thought as much, it's why I already prepared the forms with your name on them just in case, all you need to do is give it a quick read and sign it” he said, and he reached inside his black carryon bag and pulled out a short stack of papers which, lo and behold, had my name stamped right on the front. I eagerly took them from his hand and started to read through it but what I was reading made both my jaw drop and my face turn red a little.

“Ah yes, that, you see the study we are conducting is on the sexual drives of young adult males and females from on campus, wherein a number of volunteers will be monitored for the duration of the study, testing various stimuli to gather data on what constitutes as ‘turn-ons’ among the...subjects” he trailed off at the end and coughed a little. I blinked in surprise as I noticed a slight blush on his own face which made him seem absolutely adorable. 

Sure enough, the forms said as much, and referred to instances like "studying the subject's full anatomy" and "subjecting the subject to invasive procedures to gauge sexual arousal response" among other things that turned my face completely red.

“Well…um, who is in charge of...studying us?” I asked, nervously.

“That would be me, actually, the dean insisted I participate since I pushed for this so badly, well…only the male subjects, my colleague Professor Whittle? she will be monitoring the female volunteers” he finished.

I turned my attention back to the document Professor Ethan gave me, most of it was the atypical agreements to ensure the University didn’t get sued in case of an accident, while others dictated that there were strict rules to be followed and if they were not…no extra credit points would be rewarded, thus it was all or nothing. 

“Thomas? Are you okay?” I heard Professor Ethan say, bringing me out of my own thoughts. It was so easy for me to get distracted, Sebastian said he found it adorable when he had to pull me back to reality, that my “shocked” face made him want to kiss me more. My heart melted at the thought of Sebastian, things were going great between us since we graduated and moved on campus, though I heard Seb had had some trouble with some of his new Fraternity brothers but nothing my precious Seb said he couldn’t handle, and I trusted him. I felt more safe and loved with him than with anyone in my entire life. We haven’t said the words yet, even though we’ve been dating for almost a full year now, but each time he ravished me, made my body writhe in pleasure and screamed his name I wanted to utter those three words, but something was holding me back, and I wanted to be sure before I said them, otherwise….I didn’t want to think about that right now, so I pushed it off to the side.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just…a little shocked to be honest” I said, giving him a sheepish smile. 

“Well, good, just get those forms signed and I will see you later tonight at 7:30 pm in Building 5, Room 1-C, alright?” he said, flashing me a full smile which sent shivers up my spine because of how much more hot it made him look. My dick twitched in agreement.

“Y-yeah, I’ll umm…see you then” I replied.

Professor Ethan turned to walk away and I took one last glance at his magnificent bubble butt before walking away myself. As soon as I had opened the door to the lecture room I felt a hand roughly grab my shoulder and another held a hand over my mouth and dragged me over to a darkened hallway nearby where the janitors kept their closets of cleaning supplies. 

“Mmph!” came out when  I tried to say ‘let me go’, and my heart pounded in my chest as I felt myself hauled against the wall and I stood face to face with those same cold, brown eyes of George from Professor Ethan’s class.

“Saw you getting cozy with hot teach Ethan, huh? What’s that he gave you?” he said and pointed to the short stack of papers still in my hand. 

“Look, i-it’s nothing, alright it's just for the extra credit he talked about in class, now come on just let me down” I said.

George only held me tighter and pressed our bodies closer to one another, and the cold fury that edged the lines of his face genuinely scared me. I felt I was about to be beaten up for even looking in Professor Ethan’s direction. 

“Extra credit, huh? You better not be lying, and you better stay as far away from teach as possible, but if I find out otherwise…”

He leaned his head towards my ear and whispered “I’ll make you my little bitch, too” he said and with that he let go of me and roughly caressed my face before walking off with a smile that chilled me to my bones. I checked to make sure I was alright and tried to calm myself down from the massive panic attack I almost had.

I managed to get my breathing under control when I felt my phone vibrating in my pants pocket, and I pulled it out to see it was Seb, and with shaking fingers I pressed the button for talk and hearing his voice sent waves of anxiety fading away in the background of my mind.

*Hey babe! You should be out of ol Ethan’s class by now, right?* he said.

“Uhm, yeah I uhm…I just left” I said in response, my hand rustling my tousled black hair which I had let grow out slightly so it dangled just above my eyebrows now. 

*Hey, what’s wrong? You sound upset? Did someone do something???? Give me names, I’ll ship their heads in boxes back to their mothers!* he said in a tone that meant he was half-serious and half-joking.

The effort of it made me smile, and as much as I wanted to talk about what happened, I didn’t want to burden him with my own problems, as long as I stayed out of George’s way…I should be fine, right? I thought to myself.

“Don’t worry babe, everything’s fine just…stressed about this extra credit that Professor Ethan talked about…” I trailed off on explaining the study and that once I met up with him at my dorm room later tonight I’d explain it more. After we got off the phone, I decided to kill time by studying until around 7, and then…then it was time to sell my soul…or my body, I suppose? I only hoped George would see I wasn’t in his way.

I wish I knew then, just how horribly wrong I was.

End of Part 1.

#enm #gay #gay romance #embarassing

[writer-k-pop]

Mastermind

난 아무데도 안가요. I’m not going anywhere.

Description: [Literally based on the Taylor Swift song because I couldn’t get it out of my head and Jeonghan fit the song so well.] Yoon Jeonghan and (y/n)’s relationship was everything she wanted it to be. But that’s because she designed it by hand. Warnings: Swearing Genre: fluff, Idol!Jeonghan x Celebrity!Fem!Reader Word Count: 2.3k

SEVENTEEN Masterlist | Other Masterlists

Yoon Jeonghan. From the moment I saw him, I knew I wanted him. And nothing was going to stop me. He was going to be mine and no one would stand in my way.

Did he know this? Absolutely not.

Would he ever find out? If the dominoes lined up correctly, he would never find out.

Sure, we’d heard of each other before but never met. That’s because I played my pieces perfectly. Pushing pawns forwards and keeping the Queen a mystery. It was simple, truly, listening carefully to everyone around me to find out he was single. Then it was only a matter of time until he was going to a place that I was going to be at as well. I made sure it would be the first night we met and the start of everything.

I made sure at that party to watch and listen to everything going on around me. An hour or so into the night, I found the perfect moment. 

He pulled himself away from his friends to go grab another drink at the bar. I had to carefully time out everything. He was known for his love of the chase but there had been stories of him getting bored if the chase was too intense, too calm, too bold, too boring.

Leaning against the bar, I waited to order as the bartender made his drink. As if by accident, I let my pinkie brush against his. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him glance over, gaging the distance I had put between him and me. Not far enough to say we were strangers but also not close enough to be obvious that I was interested in him. Just somewhere in between.

“Haven’t seen you around much lately.” He commented, facing forward again as if we were on some covert mission, which I most certainly was.

I looked over, studying him like I knew his secrets when I was dying to uncover every single one. “I’ve been busy with this and that.”

“Would you allow me to buy you a drink since you’ve been so busy with this and that? We can just put it on my tab." He offered and pulled out his black card, attempting to impress me with his wealth and status. He must’ve started a tab on a different card but was trying his best to impress me. 

I smiled and looked over the card, making sure to keep a intrigued look glossed over my face. The bartender placed his drink down on the table and I turned to the bartender.

“A Vodka Mojito, muddled.” I told him and pulled out my own black card, “And start a tab for me.” To make him think that I was staying for a while. 

“Right away, ma’am.” The bartender took the card and walked over to the register. 

“Hm.” Jeonghan hummed, slowly lowering his card and looking up and down my face, impressed.

“What?” I leaned my head on my fist, “Figured I didn’t have one myself?" The bartender stood behind the counter, listening but keeping his eyes and hands busy with my drink.

He shook his head, "It's a first."

A new piece of information flips open a new page in my mental notebook of him. "First time a woman rejected you?"

"Usually women reject me and turn away empty handed." Jeonghan corrected me, "This is the first time a woman has rejected me as an equal." 

I knew then I had him interested in my hook. But he was just looking. I needed him to bite before tugging and securing him. If I tugged too soon, I'd lose him in the dark waters.

"If you can find me again, maybe I'll let you buy me the second." I said, wrapping my hand around my drink and disappearing into the crowd. 

Little did he know I wasn’t going to stick around for that second drink. Spent an hour nursing my mojito and when it was nearly finished, I returned to the bar, closed my tab, and retreated to my home.

Over the next couple days, I heard whispers that Jeonghan was quite mystified by my disappearance. But just like I knew, he didn’t turn away. My disappearance only made him more curious. I heard from friends he was poking around, asking if I’d be at places and making comments about the cities I bounced around.

I knew we would have to meet again but it was all calculated. Timed so his obsession would grow instead of diminish. 

It was after a few months of cat and mouse did he finally bite the hook and got me alone. 

“I have not stopped thinking about you for months.” Jeonghan whispered lowly, “Would you care to share why you have not left my mind?”

I looked up amused, “Maybe I’m just that unforgettable.”

“I decide when people are unforgettable.” He pushed back, lifting his chin ever so slightly.

“Is that so?” I tilted my head to the side, “Then do share, when do you know people are unforgettable?” I asked, tempting him to take the bait.

Jeonghan smirked and I knew he thought he had me where he wanted me. Though I wanted to kiss away that smirk because it was actually me who had him where I wanted him. “Usually after a date or two.”

“Then, Yoon Jeonghan,” I crossed my arms over my chest, “Take me out on a date, or two.” 

His smirk turned into a smile and the dominos started cascading in a line. 

One date turned into two.

Then two dates became two months.

Two months flew to a year.

And suddenly we were together for a year and a half. 

It’s not like I was dishonest in our relationship. I told him all my secrets. I let him into my turbulent storm of emotions swirling in my mind. Everything I let him see was the truth. Everything except the timing. 

How I needed to meticulously pick and choose what I told him and when I told him. Letting him think he was peeling back the layers on his own when in reality, I was the one at the top, releasing my hold of the layers when I saw fit. 

And as the layers fell, so did the dominos. They fell, one by one, all in a perfect line. Crashing into each other with the most satisfying sounds. 

Until one was crashed into but didn’t fall, only teetered before stilling once more.

We were out eating dinner at a restaurant. It was one of the higher ends, something we both loved - the glam and glitz. 

Talking about our days and the latest gossip surrounding us and those around us. Then he looked up with a nostalgic look in his eyes.

“You ever think about it?” He asked, holding his fist under his chin.

“Think about what?” I picked up my wine glass, peering at him over the rim. 

He resumed cutting into his steak, “The night we first met.” 

My hand faltered for second but I quickly recovered before he saw, covering up the fear that he found out. “What about it?” I kept my voice calm and curious. 

I was not going to let a simple question reveal my web of schemes. 

“Just how the planets, fates, and all the stars aligned so perfectly that I met you that night.” He smiles softly, silently thanking the universe for aligning so. “I can’t imagine my life if I never met you that night. Like what if I simply passed by and not noticed how intriguing you were.” He shook his head, “Crazy.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and chuckled lightly, “Yeah, crazy.” 

He carried on like normal, but his simple ‘what if’ question sent thousands spiraling in my mind. 

‘What if I told you none of it was accidental?’

‘What if I told you how nothing was going to stop me from having you?’

‘What if I told you how I laid the groundwork?’

What if I told you how, just like clockwork, the dominoes cascaded in a perfect line?’

‘What if I told you it was all by design?’

Yet one repeatedly came up until is was the only question I could think about.

‘What if I told you I’m a mastermind?’

‘What if…’

‘What if…’

The question kept me up hours after we had returned to my apartment. Long after we had finished the movie. 

I knew he knew something was off. It was evident in the way he cuddled me closer and kept a hand trailing up and down my arm, occasionally drawing shapes into my skin. 

But he never asked. He knew I would tell him what was bothering me when I was ready. But this, this was something I didn’t know if I’d ever be ready to tell him. 

This would be me admitting to every scheme I had ever executed. This would be me giving up my control to him and dear god, that was my worst fear.

For my whole life I was a schemer. It started on the playground when no one wanted to play with me as a little kid. I schemed like a criminal to make everyone love me and to make it seem so effortless. And everyone had fallen for the plot lines. Including him. 

So why did I feel the need to confess. Why now? And why with him?

The moon sat in the sky, brightly shining and keeping me company through the midnight hours. 

Jeonghan laid beside me, sleeping soundly and probably dreaming about me. 

Giving up on the sleep, I padded out to the living room and sat on the couch, legs crossed underneath me and hands folded in front of me. 

My mind was reeling with all the possible outcomes. This was not part of my perfect plan. I had always plotted the obstacles that I could encounter through each scheme. But never once did it occur to me that I would need to plan for the obstacles my own mind would throw at me. 

In the midst of my thoughts, Jeonghan stirred awake, missing the feeling of my warmth beside him. 

I barely noticed him exit the bedroom and search through the house for me. He was silent when he sat on the coffee table directly in front of me and moved like a ghost, enclosing my hands in his. 

It was there, in my living room, under the watchful midnight moon, that I spoke my fears to the one I swore would never know them. 

“I have to tell you something.” I said softly, staring only at his hands. I was afraid if I looked up and saw the hurt on his face, I would never forgive myself for making such a costly mistake. 

“You can tell me anything. I’m not going anywhere.” He said with such certainty I almost laughed.

I took a deep breath, the bubble of fear lodged in my throat and growing. “What I told you I’m a mastermind?”

He leaned forward on his thighs, “What do you mean?” There was no malice, only confusion. 

He hadn’t caught on yet.

“What if I told you that none of this was accidental?” I pushed on, squeezing my eyes shut and listening for the telltale gasp of realization and betrayal. “That the first night you saw me, nothing was going to stop and I knew I wanted you. That I laid the groundwork and watched the dominoes fall like clockwork. What if I told you you’re mine because it was all my design and that I’m the mastermind who planned it all.”

I rushed to finish and listened. I was listening for the gasp. I was waiting for the air to change to something I needed to cut with a knife. I was waiting for him to say he hated me.

But I heard nothing. The air didn’t change. The tight grip of his hands was still around my hands. He was still sitting in front of me.

Confused, I slowly raised my head. 

And there on his angelic face was a wide smirk. 

It hit me like a ton of bricks. 

He knew this entire time.

My mouth dropped open in surprise.

“I was wondering when you would realize.” He brought my intertwined hands up to his lips and kissed them. “Everyone said you were a mysterious one. They all said they thought you were some kind of spider, setting traps and creating seamless crimes. But I didn’t care.”

I searched his eyes for any sign that he was going to take my trophy and smash it to pieces. But instead, he polished it, held up it up to the light, and admired it.

“I saw every move you were making and I willingly fell for every single one.” He continued, “Because I finally found someone who was as equally Machiavellian as I was. Every move you made impressed me because you constantly surprised me. Going left when I assumed you’d go right. Pushing when I thought you’d pull.”

“You knew.” I whispered, stumped beyond belief.

He nodded with a smile. “I knew. You were going for checkmate and I wanted you to get there. I wanted to fall since the first night I met you. And I want to fall every day from now until forever. I’d get checkmated by you in every goddamn lifetime.” He confessed and the midnight stars were the witnesses.

A smile grew on my face as I untangled my hands and pulled him into a kiss. A kiss that could’ve moved mountains. When he pushed, I pulled. The both of us tempting the other to break away first. To be the one to relinquish control of the uncontrollable hurricane of schemes that we both loved so much. 

It was the night I knew he was mine for good. And the night I knew I was his all along. 

I was a mastermind.

But so was he. 

#kpop #kpop imagines #seventeen #seventeen imagines #seventeen imagine #seventeen jeonghan imagine #seventeen jeonghan imagines #seventeen jeonghan #jeonghan imagines #jeonghan imagine #jeonghan #yoon jeonghan #yoon jeonghan imagines #yoon jeonghan imagine #writer-k-pop

[chronic-claire-universe]

Ran Haitani: Why Do You Love Me?

Hello dust bunnies, it’s been a while but lately I’ve seen a collab which I thought I wanted to write for and here I am, really later but glad to give my contribute.

This is for @suyacho​ selfship’s collab and it’s totally self indulgent since these days I’m suffering a little bit more.

Warnings: Mentions of Hospitalization, Depression, Eating Disorders (Ran), Fluff Fluff Fluff

A.N: Reader is gender neutral, and they knew Ran during their medical studies residency

“I don’t understand” Rindou mumbles while his brother brags about you for the nth time, “Of course you don’t understand silly, it’s called love”, Rindou groans hearing his brother dumbness but he can’t help but keep on discovering this new side of his older brother, apparently waking up before noon, getting the first clothes he found in the closet, is a sign of apocalypse for the younger Haitani. “Love you say? Well that would explain why you’re doing something absurd like this” he gestures using his hands to explain the strange phenomen, “What do you mean by this?” Ran says lowering his sunglasses and putting his long hair to the side and looking at his brother with disappointment, “Nii-chan, you never went out without braiding your hair, you did it only when I got appendectomy and you rushed us to the hospital, are them that important?” Rindou asks with a stern look waiting for a reply, he doesn’t mean to sound rude but he doesn’t want to deal with a moody Ran when something gets wrong like it did last time. Ran approaches his little brother and huggin him he says “You grew up, I can tell that you’re concerned about the situation but don’t worry, y/n gets me the chance to be myself, Ran just Ran, your older brother, not the Ruler of Roppongi, not Ran Haitani, not the oldest Haitani Brother, do you understand now?”, Rindou nods and huggin him tighter he says, “I hope that I’ll get to know them” Ran smiles and before looking one last time to his little brother he closes the door’s apartment.

...

“y/n why do you love me?” Ran asks while licking his ice cream and smirks at your blush, “Well you don’t need to be so straightforward” you say looking at him with an angry but embarassed expression, “My little tsundere” he adds before keeping his ministrations, peppering your face with kisses and licks “Cmon I want to hear it again, please?” he continues with a sincere smile while getting his sunglasses on his head and looking at you intensely. “Why do you ask me this right now?”, Ran smiles and lowering his gaze he says “Because... I told Rindou today” your smile radiates your face and Ran can’t help but blush “He was concerned I’d get depressed and underweight again, so I told him that I could be myself with you”, you hug him remembering the first time you saw him, “Remember what I said during your stay at the hospital? Someone has to love you, and that’s what I plan to do from now on” and Ran smiles thinking that he finally found the one that can understand him from the bottom of his hearth, and he would be damn mad if he will let you out from his life, after all you’ve been both the savior for the other’s lfe.

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#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo revengers x reader #ran haitani #ran haitani x reader #ran haitani fluff #rindou haitani #haitani brothers #tok rev haitani