#which i think they were actively trying to avoid

[annabelle--cane]

placing my hands out placatingly, asking everyone to please be cool and not reignite og!elias burnt out gifted kid discourse. okay? okay. I think this is setting up some more sam and gwen parallels. from mag 193, we know that elias bouchard (original flavor) was told from a young age that he was smart but lazy, he was squandering his advantages, and he was wrong to envy other children because they were meaningless and he was better. he seemed to internalize this to some extent, because by the time he was in his early twenties he had no friends and no family and no real life, just the certainty that he was destined to deserve better.

I think it is reasonable to assume that gwen received similar messaging during her childhood, as she seems to be treating the OIAR the same way elias treated artefact storage (as a stepping stone job to a bigger career waiting for her up the ladder), and she takes a lot of offence when she feels disrespected. from magp 03, we know she's reticent to tell her friends that she's still working this same job, especially because the friend's party she was going to was to celebrate making partner at a law firm.

from this episode, we know that sam was declared "gifted" as a child and his parents rigorously enrolled him in every program they could find, and it started going down hill when the magnus institute rejected him (did they reject him outright or was he there for a bit and then kicked out? what he said to celia doesn't quite fit his earlier statements, but moving on). he has a lot of pent up and fixated feelings about not being chosen by them, he didn't get into oxford, he just missed the highest grades, and he's reticent to tell his parents that he's working this job, especially because he used to be at a law firm.

we know the bouchards are a wealthy and influential family, and as sam speaks with a south asian accent I think it's safe to assume that his family immigrated. of course, there's a massive amount of variation in the socioeconomic statuses of south asian immigrant families in the UK, and I don't know enough about how british gifted kids programs work to know if sam having been in a bunch of them would imply anything about his parents' disposable income, but nonetheless I still think their different backgrounds potentially say a lot about how they handle these feelings of not meeting the high standards that were expected of / promised to them. gwen is fighting to be on the same level of social status and power as her peers, and sam probably felt like he was he had opportunities for upward mobility in this brand new place but kept failing them. it's causing both of them to be very active characters, they are the two people pushing the story forward the most by far, but the ways in which they are active diverge greatly.

gwen, until recently, had felt like she was unfairly stagnating, like she was "not most people" and was cut out for better, and being constantly barred from climbing the ladder made her both resentful of lena and extremely paranoid / insecure about her own worth. now that she's starting to crack it into the "real work," it's obviously taking a great toll on her, but she doesn't want to back out, she wants to prove herself and take what's rightfully hers and not show herself to be unfit for real power. her actions appear to be guided by an ethos that her life hasn't been wasted yet, she still has time to make good, she just needs to ignore that weakness masquerading as a conscience, please god don't let her fail.

sam feels like he's made mistake after mistake after mistake and led himself to his own desperate state where he only just managed to avoid destitution because his ex was kind enough to hook him up with an emergency job that is actively destroying his physical and emotional health, and he has pinned all this frustration on trying to figure out what the magnus institute was all about and why it didn't choose him. like gwen, great things were expected of him, but unlike her he doesn't seem to still be striving for them, that dried up when he had a breakdown at his last job. now he just wants to figure it out and make sense of it, as if solving the mystery will let him fix it and undo all that time and un-waste his promised potential. his actions seem to be guided by an ethos that, even though he's already screwed everything right up, solving the ghosts that haunt his life will some how lessen their burden and maybe, just maybe, give him closure on the Flaw That Doomed Him and allow him to move past it without dragging it still forward.

#tmagp #tmagp spoilers #marina marvels at life

[kitskiis]

I think the saddest part about secret life Joel is just how futile all of his actions are in that season. On a surface level i mean stuff like all of his more careful gameplay being cancelled out by a singular failed tnt trap but on a deeper level i specifically mean how that character contrasts with last life Joel. Joel is undoubtedly at his lowest point in the life series in Last Life. He goes down to red in session 2 and spends the majority of the rest of the season alone (and when he does have allies it’s only bc of a shared bloodlust). The red bloodlust completely takes over and this festers for nearly *8 sessions*. Not only that but the one time he is given a chance to restart and go back to yellow his old alliance member goes to red, leaving him alone again, and he is made boogeyman the next session. This, overall, has lasting consequences (he actually wanted to be fairly friendly at the beginning of LL, a stark contrast to how bloodthirsty he was at the beginning of DL or Lim L), and gained him a reputation that has never fully gone away. This is especially bad bc most people agree that LL was the most violent season (despite the lower kill counts in comparison to LimL) and was generally the worst and most traumatizing experience in the games for most people involved. Compare this to secret life, which everyone agrees was definitely the happiest season for Joel (or at least the most normal. His life is a tragedy no matter the season.) he has allies that (for the most part rip mumbo) stick with him until the end, he is friendlier with a larger group of people, and when he initially has to deal with the loss of some of them he has people who can ground him (bc as much as I adore the bad boys, grian was not qualified to do that). He was so hopeful that season, and was generally in a much healthier place mentally. And yet, despite how much he seemed to have grown, those 2 seasons ended so similarly for him it was almost comical. Joel engaged in a fight at the end, watched his ally get killed by scott, and is then forced into a 2v1 against Scott and another player that results in Scott taking his final life and him finishing 5th overall. I was describing both of those seasons here. After everything he did to grow, after all the improvements he had made, everything ended *exactly the same*

Making this about the bad boys for a second (because I’m me) they kinda suffer similar fates. Grian learned in the most tragic way possible that his allies were doomed to fail as long as he was with them no matter what, that this was not something that he could control by simply avoiding killing them himself. Even when he actively tries to save them (“let Tim do it he needs the time” “Joel you can kill me!”) he’ll still lose them in the end. I think this realization is also what made him stop trying to fight it, which resulted in him killing or almost killing his allies from previous seasons immediately afterwards (stabbing scar in the back and that one scene where grian kinda ominously jumps with a sword like he was about to crit and kill bigb after finding out he had 50 seconds left on his timer). It’s sorta like a way of telling the universe “fine. You win”

Similarly Jimmy. Well. I don’t think I need to explain that one. Even when he was given hope that things could be different, that he could break the curse, he died only a few minutes later. I still hold on to the narrative that the watchers only allowed that to happen to give Jimmy false hope that things can be different only to rip the rug out from under him and drive home the point that he is in a losing battle because by the time of secret life Jimmy was one of the only few people who genuinely still believed he had a chance. Obviously this is not something that can fully be a reality until he goes out first next season so if he doesn’t that’s a little awkward but just work with me here

TLDR; here is reason number 672 on why I believe the bad boys are the most doomed motherfuckers on this server and their alliance is a modern tragedy

#no one will ever hate the bad boys more than the narrative #trafficblr #life series #smallishbeans #joel smallishbeans #grian #solidaritygaming #jimmy solidarity #the bad boys #secret life #limited life #last life #can you tell the brain rot has gotten really really bad

[ldrfanatic]

Slytherin Boys as 1989 Songs

+ bonus! the slytherin boys as romance tropes

I decided to shake this one up a bit and do all happy love songs

here's 1989 (tv ofc); which taylor swift album should i do next?

(mattheo riddle, draco malfoy, theo nott, lorenzo berkshire)

slytherin boys masterlist nav

mattheo riddle as I Know Places

best lyric(s) - "let them say what they want we won't here it" + "love's a fragile little flame it could burn out" + "just grab my hand and don't ever drop it"

trope - enemies to lovers :)

mattheo w a crush - in love, mattheo is somewhere in the middle between being sappy and just straight up insulting you. not like calling you ugly or anything but like "damn i didn't know it was possible to mess up such an easy spell" like kind of teasing. he's one of those guys that will be mean at first and then be like playfully mean and then finally, will start being nice to you but only sometimes. he just thinks you're adorable when you're angry.

mattheo as a boyfriend - now as a boyfriend, mattheo still teases the hell out of you but god forbid literally anyone else does bc he'll kill them. like actually. also the pair of you go through a little bit of a rough patch during the war and he keeps telling you that you have to stay way from him but secretly, he's really happy that you never actually listen to him because he doesn't know what he would do without you. he just kind of ignores all the whispers and hogwarts becomes your guys' like safe little happy love bubble.

draco malfoy as Out of the Woods

best lyric(s) - "the rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming color" + "when you started crying baby i did too, when the sun came up i was looking at you" + "I walked out I said 'i'm setting you free' but the monsters turned out to be just trees"

trope - everyone can see it except for you

draco w a crush - I think draco would be the kind of guy that actively avoided his crush. like if you were sitting in the very front of transfigurations, he was sitting in the absolute furthers corner in the back. If you were going on the hogsmeade trip, he was begging his friends would leave him to simmer in his affections for you. he's just so nervous and so certain you'll dislike him that he'd rather not talk to you at all. when he finally does work up the courage, he's extremely happy and like eternally grateful that you'd give him a chance.

draco as a boyfriend - i do think though that draco is not always the best at communicating just because he always wants everything to be so perfect and he doesn't want there to be anything that he says that could make you resent him so he'd rather not say anything at all. obv, this doesn't work out well for him cause like... communicating w you is so essential. y'all get into arguments fairly regularly but you always end up making up because he's always just creating those demons in his head and it's almost never that serious.

theodore nott as Suburban Legends

best lyric(s) - "you were so magnetic it was almost obnoxious" + "when you hold me, it holds me together and you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever" + "you'd be more than a chapter in my old diaries with the pages ripped out"

trope - hopeless romantic

theo w a crush - I think with a crush theo would be the kind of guy that just simps like a mf. like you need someone to carry your books, he's there, why would you even try to carry them yourself? just let him take care of it. or like, when you're not feeling well and you might need to spend a few days in the hospital wing, while you're sleeping theo sneaks in and leaves the notes for the classes you missed as well as your favorite sweets and flowers. (one time when michael corner made you cry, he beat the snot out of him and then the next day left this huge teddy bear outside your door with the note "y/n, that douchebag sucks. -tn")

theo as a boyfriend - theo's simp nature carries over when he's a bf so he's super freaking caring. he does literally everything for you. he'll brush your hair when you get out of the shower if you ask. or if you're like me and you have like thicker ethnic hair, he'll ask you to show him how to do your hair so that he can do it for you. he's also one of those guys that's like casually dominant. like hand on your lower back in a crowd, opening your doors, reaching up and grabbing things from the top shelf for you. naturally protective in the sense of like he always wants to sleep closest to the door in case something happens and like is also always making sure you eat and get enough water.

lorenzo berkshire as "Slut!"

lyric(s) - "and if i'm gonna be drunk, i might as well be drunk in love" + "and i break down then he's pulling me in. in a world of boys he's a gentleman" + "got love struck went straight to my head"

trope - friends to lovers

enzo w a crush - enzo is the kind of guy who's not afraid to be in love. he actually loves it. he loves having someone to compliment and shower in gifts and win over. where mattheo would tease you, draco would avoid you, and theo would lose himself in you, enzo is the guy who would bring you inexplicable joy and make sure you knew that it was him that was bringing you joy. not to say that he wouldn't do sweet gestures and such but he's the sort of guy that will make you his best friend and then make you fall in love with him.

enzo as a boyfriend - because of this, you and enzo are like those like childhood friends turned lovers type of thing. he just knows you so well and the love between you two comes so easily. he makes it his personal mission to make you smile at least once a day. as your boyfriend, he's just really playful. things like pillow fights and tickle fights. he's also that boyfriend that will do all those little stupid tiktok trends with you but like really energetically and not just like half-assed bc if it's gonna make you smile, he's going all in.

---

4.25.24

wc 1k

taglist @moonlightreader649 @svt-dk97 @thatdammchickennugget @helendeath @fandom-life-12 @bouquetolegoflowers @maryvibess

#slytherin boys #slytherin #theodore nott #theo nott #theo nott x reader #theodore nott x reader #slytherin boys x reader #draco malfoy #lorenzo berkshire #enzo berkshire #enzo berkshire x reader #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle #draco malfoy x reader #lorenzo berkshire x reader

[sanstropfremir]

Omg! I saw you briefly mentioned Tomorrow in an ask and I just finished the show. I have so many thoughts about it and not sure if they’re all good but I would love to hear your opinion about the overall show (especially the distinct costume design of each character and the set design!!). For a show that navigated some heavy material — it was full of such bright color and fun fashion decisions! Unsure if you talk about shows but I thought to ask because you always provide such interesting and thoughtful critiques.

THE COSTUME DESIGN IN TOMORROW!!!!!! it's soooooooooooo good it was one of the things that kept me watching bc yes there some glaringly obvious problems with the script. the production/set design are excellent too, especially for jumadeung. literally framing it as a company is a.....choice, but visually framing it with art deco style architecture a la the chrysler building is a smart way to keep it feeling outside time, because our brains still interpret art deco as a relatively modern style because of its scarcity and association with wealth, but in reality art deco is approaching it's centennial in just a couple of years.

ok i'm gonna talk about some major plot beats so spoiler warning for anyone who hasn't finished the show or cares about that kind of thing.

tbh i actually think the best costume design was in the scenes with all the team leaders because they were so quick and so infrequent but each of them had such a clear signature that tbh i spent like five minutes stopping and starting that first intro scene where we see everyone just to try and pick up all the little details.

other than that though, they do such a good job with koo ryeon, joong-gil and ryung-gu and interpreting how very old/essentially immortal characters would interpret clothing and what they would be comfortable in. jun-woong is fine, but the show itself kind of acknowledges by the back half that really he's the vehicle for the rest of their stories, so imo his design choices are all intentionally wallflower-y. but koo ryeon, joong-gil, and ryung-gu all share some key character traits: they're all extremely loyal, dedicated, defensive, AND they all lived their formative lives pre the invention of the zipper and stretch fabric. i know this sounds like a very weird point to make, but trust me on this one, i'll get to it. and all three of these characters embody all of these traits in their clothing. many of the creature comforts that we associate with fashion are very very modern, think within the last 100-150 years. zippers? the 1910s. spandex/lycra/synthetic stretch fabrics? 1958. hell, even the concept of sportswear and leisure clothing only started cropping up in the mid 1800s. for a lot of cultures and for long periods of history, clothing consisted of a lot of layers and a fair amount of internal structure, by virtue of fabric being a solid weave. for a significant portion of their lives, all three of these characters were wearing anywhere between two and probably five layers at all times, with koo ryeon and joong-gil for about 250yrs longer and also with much more intricacy due to their higher class. clothing plays a very big part into how someone presents themselves to the world, and it can be a protective measure. this might be a bit difficult for some to understand for some, especially in our modern 'comfort first' fashion culture, but the structure and weight of a lot of layers and the rituals around getting dressed a specific way can be both a defensive mechanism and also a physical comfort. you see it with older generations and their likelihood of wearing older styles/styles that were 'on trend' in their youth; think grannies who still get their hair permed and put on lipstick every time they leave the house, or someone like my grandfather, who never stopped wearing the same style of highwaisted slacks and dress shirts from the early 60s. and i think it's a very fair trait to extrapolate to characters who 1) have had particularly traumatic lives, 2) have spent a very long time wearing the same thing, and 3) have a textually noted extended/different understanding of time.

let's start with joong-gil, who exclusively wears a three piece suit post-becoming a reaper. this means he's wearing at least three well structured layers, and i'd be willing to bet that he'd be the type to wear a singlet/underlayer as well, which brings that total up to four. he's also frequently shown wearing an additional jacket (five layers) and gloves, another further barrier. given the fact that jumadeung appears to have 'westernized' aesthetically when korea was freed from japanese colonial rule***, three piece suits were still standard business attire. and he's very strict about his own dress code, he's either in white shirt and three piece or a black shirt and three piece. obviously this is also a physical manifestation of his discipline and dedication of the 'rules', as we can see that when he deviates from that uniform it is as a specific character point for him. the most notable instances of this are in the last episode, where he's wearing a turtleneck (but still a waistcoat) when jun-woong goes to try and reason with him, and then again later in the episode when joong-gil is taking his punishment in his shirtsleeves. and then for a third time at the very end of the episode, where his black three piece has been exchanged for a grey one, signalling his softening and the merging of his two selves (his pre-reaper self that wore mostly lighter colours, and his post-reaper self that wore mostly black).

unsurprisingly, koo ryeon is also a very defensive dresser. all the same observations from joong-gil apply here, but with koo ryeon instead of her being a dedicated rule-follower, her dedication manifests as rule-breaking in order to achieve her goals; as you can see she wears a lot of colours in counter to joong-gil's monochrome. but i think the most interesting of her visual 'rule-breaking' is that she doesn't particularly follow the convenions of 'feminine' coded dressing. this is most noticable in when the rm team goes on 'assignment' in different workplaces, where ryeon will wear nearly identical suits to jun-woong and ryung-gu (interestingly, it's pointedly not her wearing men's clothes, she's always wearing a 'female' version even if the cuts are virtually identical. you can tell bc the button closures are opposite). she also dresses very 'modestly', she doesn't show any skin at all and more notably, she doesn't wear anything form fitting. she favours boxy and bulky shapes with a predominance for longer lines and wider shapes on her lower body. now there's two reasons to speculate for this: the first is the same as for joong-gil, that she's very used to layers and a specific silhouette, especially considering that the shape of female hanbok is not even close to being form-fitting and has heavy skirting. and the second is that her trauma is directly tied to people's perception of her femininity. literally the reason ryeon died is because she was stigmatized for 'using her femininity to get out of an adverse situation' even though we are explicitly shown that that is emphatically not the case. thus her rejection of more western feminine silhouettes is directly related to how she wants there to be no question that the reason she is so accomplished at her job is purely because of her skills, and not for any other reason.

and ryung-gu! more similar to koo ryeon in style than joong-gil, but again they all share that propensity for numerous heavy and obscurative layers that echoes a more traditional style of dress. because ryung-gu is younger (literal age wise but also i'm pretty sure he died younger as well) there's a little more flexibility in his materials and cuts, and because he's of a lower class than koo ryeon and joong-gil, he tends towards less formal shapes too. although i would not describe koo ryeon as a 'formal' dresser, she wears a lot of blazers and two piece suits, as well as heavy wools and fabrics that are generally associated with business and formalwear. ryung-gu however, almost exclusively picks his shapes from garments that have a working class or blue collar origin; lots of jeans, informal but still structured jackets like bombers and denim jackets, and a fair amount of casual sportswear, practical wear, and synthetic fabrics. and although ryung-gu is framed as being rebellious like koo ryeon, unlike ryeon his rebellion always comes as an active response to something that upsets his internal or external systems. as a child he is dutifully and lovingly reverent of his mother, she's the centre of his world, and even as a reaper he isn't shown to have any real issues with authority. sure he clocks out right at eight hours, but that's not being rebellious, that's just following the rules to a technicality. it's only when his mother is taken from his life and he loses that external structure that he actively 'becomes rebellious', and even then i think rebellion is the wrong word; it's actually just self destructive behaviour that is 'morally' grey according to the wider societal system. when his story arc finally concludes and he has his mother back in his life (sort of), he visually sheds some of his more 'rebelliously' attributes by cutting and redying his hair to the 'standard masculine' haircut and showing up to work in a suit and/or less flamboyant patterns and garments. but he does still keep the same number of layers and shapes as he did before.

---

***when japan surrendered in 1945 it ceded all its territories to the us, so really korea was actually just colonized again. you can see in the korean war vet episode that in flashbacks joong-gil is wearing a western style suit as a reaper, which would have been between 1950-53, but in the comfort women episode he's still wearing hanbok, which would have been at the earliest 1930ish. also it would makes sense logistically as jumadeung is supposed to mirror the 'real' world. i also think this is where the framing of it as a 'company' comes from as well.

#OK I HAVE TO STOP NOW THIS IS WAY TOO LONG #non kpop questions #if more ppl start asking me about shows and stuff i might start a general media analysis tag #tomorrow #netflix tomorrow #tv #this show had like a TON of problems but i think the heart of it was really good and it was probably necessary? #like the fact that it was extremely empathetic is very important but also. it wasn't realistic at all #and also it was relatively kind to character stereotypes that don't normally receive kindness? like fat characters #AND the fact that ryung-gu is explicitly a recovered addict and still framed sooo empathetically is a huge deal #esp for a country with massive drug stigmas still #but the fact that christian morality is SO deeply baked into just the concept of the show is big oof. like huge massive very large OOF #anyways. here's my very long essay on defensive dressing and how immortal characters arent just gonna dress in the latest trends #text #answers #also further point about ryeon. i think the reason we rarely saw her as a reaper in the period between when jumadeung 'westernized' #and the present is bc it would be a huge betrayal of her character to dress her in something 'traditionally' feminine from that time frame #but they couldn't feasibly dress her as more gender-nonconforming because it would have pretty much instantly coded her as a lesbian #which i think they were actively trying to avoid #OH I FORGOT ABT JOONG-GILS CAMEL NUMBER IN EP5 #thats an important character beat for him tho too so it still fits the pattern #since its the first time he makes an effort to try and see a different perspective. even if it doesn't actually work and he regresses lol #anyways these three characters are sooooooo interesting and unusual and i really like all of them #yes ryung-gu is my favourite and no its not just bc he cries pretty! i have real reasons!!

[pcktknife]

Back on that damn zoroark wiki page

#sigh. anways #h!zoros are said to have come back to life after death from a harsh environment which for some👏🏾reason👏🏾 i didnt register as a #u!zoro dying and coming back different (probably bc time n history why would the ancestor derive from the descendant) but its not an #ancestor its just a zoroark thats fucked up bc the region its in #additionally i didnt understand why it hated people AND pokemon (and still didnt rlly understand the ppl thing fully) but its cause they #were banished to the icelands by ppl and the pokemon there did not make it any easier so they died and came back from being so fucking Mad #and thats fucked up bc they are chill dogs!!!! so i get it id b mad too displaced by ppl u actively try to avoid and then u die in the only #place ur kinda allowed to be Plus the animals there are being jerks also ?? baneful fox is right #i feel like zoros still have a stigma abt them so i bet under the right conditions a modern zoro w the typing and nature of a hisuian one #is possible and i also wonder where the hisuian ones went cause i assume that ghost types dont die 2x and something w so much anger towards #everything its given the title of spiteful and baneful wouldnt just....go away that is a restless spirit lmao i cant imagine theyd just #move on so i like to think they r maybe just fuckin around in the mountains mostly unseen away from everything and maybe they r killin #things as just an unseen force idk i dont live in the sinnohan mountains #exhale Thats All!!!! known/common knowledge and assumed information but idc cause i wanted to talk anyways!!! #kae.txt

[yardsards]

i think the issue with having an extremely inconsistent sleep schedule is not that your overall daily schedule will be out of wack (i am quite fine with changing schedules) but rather that all hours of the day are Schrodinger's Bedtime. like, going to bed just feels like An Option at all times and this leads to a lot of laying in bed almost dozing but not really sleeping

#eliot posts #i BRIEFLY got my sleep schedule back on track but then i got sick had to sleep all day to recover and now it is Bad again #and then before that it was STABLE for a while but... #i was going to sleep at sunrise every day #which was Bad #bc by the time i woke up it would be almost sundown #so time completely stopped feeling real #fuck the winter darkness i am moving to the fucking equator as god intended #we must ALL come to brazil (or ecuador or kenya or whatever) #but seriously tho like why is my default circadian rhythm to FALL ASLEEP AT SUNRISE #it has always been like this and it happens in all seasons #(isn't too bad in the summer tho bc there's more hours of sun and also student schedule lets me Live Like That) #i am constantly battling my body to adhere to a somewhat normal sleep schedule #bc alas being a member of society means i have to be awake and doing stuff at certain times #scheduling meals and activities a certain way and avoiding blue light does NOT fix shit #keeping a regular schedule can help sometimes but is‚ again‚ an uphill battle against my body #i should honestly try getting one of those seasonal depression sunlamps and staring into it at like 10 pm every night #trick my brain into thinking it is sunrise (and therefore time to sleep) #(also i tried melatonin supplements once and it made me feel like my bones were trying to slither out of my skin #and i had a panic attack and didn't sleep that night. so i am too terrified to try THAT again)

[mejomonster]

My biggest complaint about red white and blue is the cover ToT

(Don't take me too seriously dhdhf)

#red white and royal blue #lb #by this i mean: the novel? AMAZING. excellent superb. i am enjoying it phenomenally #the cover however reminds me more of the 200 page or less romance comedies that are very lighthearted with very little #depth of stress. which is fine. thats also a good kind of book. #but rwrb has like... alex being the biggest bitch in it. a workaholic out of touch emotionally (but very Emotionally acting) man #prince henry and the Actual Horrificly Fucked reality of life in the spotlight. political Weight and stress of calling out poljticial issues #By Name and risking alienating the reader audience by REQUIRING them to learn to sympathize with alex who may be unlike them #and who Feels unlike those in power and who Feels half his heritage hes being estranged from with his moms situation #and then Also asking you the reader to empathize with henry in a way you have provably never had to do in real life with Anyone like him #because in real life we simply never meet someone in henrys situation #its not the polish of prince charming. its the heartwrenching pain and fear and tragedy of Being #The Symbolic Prince Charming. it is a much HEAVIER novel than its cover implies #and i like the cover and think the Pop Bright Cover made romcom readers give it a chance and likely #expanded the readership and got readers to try a novel the would not otherwise have given a chance. so marketing wise its Excellent. #but i feel like... the core Reader who would go out specifically looking for a novel Like rwrb would #see this cover and assumr the story isnt as heavy as they were looking for. #likewise i saw caseys other book cover and i hate it lol ToT i would actively avoid reading it #but becausr its Casey writing? i bet it IS as heavy and complex emotionally and Specific as i want a novel to be #its just the cover of bright pop orange and pink was not designed for Me. it was designed to appeal to a broad audience

[paeonie-s]

genuinely so emo abt the fact that i have friends who want to do stuff w me now omg

#i was v scared for college bc i have had. such awful luck w finding ppl who want to do things w me #the closest friendship ive ever had was online lol and even that ended w me being ignored and pushed away so its a v foreign experience for #other ppl to v openly. enjoy my company and continously invite me to things just bc they want me to be there #like ik a good part of that is everyone trying to not be lonely as shit these first couple weeks but all of the friends im referring to #were part of a summer program where they got to show up like 6 weeks early and so they already have friends and ppl to hang out w #so its still rly cool that i showed up made friends w like 2 of them and now 3 weeks later im having to actively plan time to do hw and #watch my shows and stuff bc im being invited to eat and walk around and watch movies and do things all the time #shit is surreal !! im so grateful esp when my suggestions for things to do are well recieved like today alone i invited some of them #to go to the barnes and noble opening in a town near us next month + to a open house at our states observatory. and other ppl were actually #excited to learn abt those. its insane im so used to being ignored and treated like the things i care abt dont matter i love life rn omg #ppl are so cool and interesting sometimes i still feel like i am the most boring person in the room bc i never had the time money location #or motivation to explore a ton of my interests but when i tell ppl abt that feeling theyre like bitch me too !!! lets go snowboard and hike #and have observing nights and paint and dress up for halloween together and its makes me so happy. that is all #actually one more thing i was initially thinking abt dressing up as asa csm (which is. already an improvement from younger me feeling so #isolated she avoided dressing up for halloween for a decade bc she never felt close enough to go w anyone) BUT NOW im a part of a 2 month #old plan for like a dozen ppl to dress up as monster high girls AND im gonna be draculaura. literally such a slay i cant #🌸.txt

[iloveyoumorethansoup]

I am not good at being genuinely mad at people. Usually I’m passively mad and it’s more annoyed than mad but like oh man. Genuinely upset?? No you gotta tread real careful

#my friends and I went to hang out today including the one who was like on my tumblr which really bothered me right #and like. that’s not something I’ve gotten over yet. i care about my life here and my privacy very much #quite frankly. i don’t think I ever will get over this. i am willing to set it aside. but I am not going to forgive this #a few days ago she’s like hey Monday let’s do something. and with my future in mind I’m like. fine. sure. #so this morning I’m like hey there r some pretty serious things happening I don’t think minigolf is my first priority rn #and she’s like oh ok well can we still hang out tho? and it’s like. excuse me??? why on earth do you think that’s more important than this #and then. plans ended up working out and she’s like hey. we’re good right? and I’m taken aback and I’m like what? #and she’s like r we good? we’re good right? #and it’s like. you have got to be kidding me. I’ve barely spoken to you and you’re asking if we’re good in the hopes this all blew over???? #and I’m like. I don’t know. I’m not actively avoiding you anymore if that’s what you’re asking #but it’s like. oh my god. it inconveniences me greatly to not forgive her for monetary reasons such as moving in together in a yearish #but also she is making it so incredibly hard to forgive her!! #i asked her for space and she decided oh well what if I keep trying to FaceTime her and just in general was acting like if she just kept #going on like nothing happened everything would be all good #like bestie my trust isn’t something you can rebuild. it’s gone #but she just keeps going and doing all these little things and it’s like #every wrong thing she could do delay my forgiveness she’s done #when I say forgiveness I mean my willingness to put this aside #but it’s like. u cannot just expect things to go back to how they were. that completely ignores the fact that something happened #like god start with at least trying to be my friend again. not my best friend. my like. good acquaintance #like text me. please don’t call. i would rather not hang out. just text me. join our group calls for a little bit at a time #just. small interactions. that give me the ability to leave if I want #driving me absolutely up the wall #soup talks

[faultsofyouth]

I was talking to my nb a few weeks ago about our relationships with our parents and when I said something like "I don't expect you to forgive your parents because your parents treated you worse than mine did" he hit me with "I don't think that's true. I never slept in someone's shed to get away from My parents" and im sat here days later like 😶

#my posts #to me forgiving my mom was *chokes* easy bc our relationship was strained by male violence and that wasnt her fault #and once i accepted it wasnt her fault i stopped trying to convince Her to change in an attempt to solve the male violence #and then she had an ally and she stopped acting like a battered woman and we were able to connect the way we needed to #+ the male violence mostly stopped so we no longer live in a setting that is actively traumatizing. #which will do wonders for any relationship #thats not really the case for my partner who has bad relationships with their parents bc they never listen to him #they let him suffer for years with cysts in his wrist and backpain that turned out to be from DDD and refused to take him to the hospital #for either #they are also homophobic so they never came out as bisexual and most likely will never come out as trans to either of them #so thats a very different kind of relationship from what i have with my mom. who has always been my biggest supporter #even when she was my enemy #but. nb never slept in a shed just to avoid going home to a violent fight #thats true. and nb doesnt cry when the door slams hard or when it thunders too loud. thats also true #that boygirl has only ever slept in a shed in order to keep me from sleeping alone in the cold all night. when they could have gone inside #and slept on a mattress in a heated room. i dont think of that night as a bad night #my best friend was with me out in the cold. i wasnt alone. not everybody would do that for me #the friend whose shed we slept in certainly didnt

[sistertotheknowitall]

“But to the BatFam? That is just Some Guy. A random dude - if you will.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m missing my spleen.”

“Oh cool, yeah, missing organs suck. I’m missing a kidney and part of my liver. Oh! And my gallbladder but that was more of a necessary evil, it was like, poisoning me or something.” Danny was so focused on applying pressure to his wound (and maybe being a bit too light headed) that he didn’t notice how silent his friend had gotten. Like-wise the comms had gone equally quiet as Gotham’s vigilante family realized that they knew very little about this kid.

It was concerning how quickly they all started to see him as a friend considering it was them as vigilantes he interacted with the most. Tim was the only one who saw him frequently when out of the suit because he was a regular at Danny’s day job. (He worked as a barista in the coffee shop Tim favored.) The others saw him occasionally but more often than not it was just in passing. Steph, Duke, and Dick had to stop themselves from approaching him on the street.

It was odd, one day he had just moved to Gotham, seeming to appear out of nowhere, and then the next he was a constant presence in their lives. Usually armed and ready with a concerning or odd quip, it had started with him being another victim of the city’s petty criminals and had snowballed from there.

Now it wasn’t like the bats saw Danny everyday, but it was expected that he would cross paths with at least three of them before the end of the week. They ran into him more often than any other Gothamite, including the criminals and rouges they fought.

At first the constant meetings by “coincidence” was suspicious. If he wasn’t the one being saved from a mugging, kidnapping, or city wide villain assault, then he was near by and trying to help.

(“Trying to help” usually meant drawing attention to himself so the original victim could escape. Once it had meant Danny armed with a baseball bat against four grown men. Bruce and Dick have tried to talk to him about putting himself in harms way but the kid is surprisingly elusive when he wants to be. Yet, even when avoiding Batman and his eldest, Danny could be found on the patrol route of another family member.)

But honestly? The guy seemed just as exhausted as they were of seeing each other. By the twelfth time in a month, Danny had accused them of stalking him.

The background check Bruce and Tim had run came back clean and he never seemed to be involved in the various criminal activities. He was just there, a weirdly unlucky bystander. So as far as Dick and the others could see, Danny was a completely normal dude. He just said strange things and wasn’t intimidated by them, he actually made it a point to be unhelpful sometimes. When trying to learn his name he gave them the run around for two months. (“I know about stranger danger. I don’t care how often you say you’re the ‘good guys.’ I’m not falling for it.”)

On one memorable occasion Danny had disappeared for a week and a half. When they started to assume the worse, he popped back up behind the counter at work. Tim had relaxed significantly when he entered the shop to Danny organizing pastries in the display case. Once he’d placed his order, the young CEO asked Danny if he’d been on vacation. To which Danny had just sighed and told Tim “I wish, but no I was called to court to handle some affairs I couldn’t get out of.” (After a check to see if Danny had gotten charged with something and coming back empty, Tim had concluded that it was an odd way to say he had had jury duty.)

Thinking about it now, outside a stray comment or two, Danny didn’t talk about himself or his life. They knew he didn’t have a good relationship with his parents, “they were much more goal oriented than that joke of a kidnapper, but I think drugs do that to a person.” (It was still unclear if he meant his parents were kidnappers themselves or on drugs.) They knew he had an older sister who would “kill me again if she finds out I was in another bank robbery.” They also knew he was, possibly, depressed after last week’s comment of “is it considered murder if you’re already dead but, like, still alive?” (Damian had saved him from a drug ring but after another “baby ninja” comment the young Robin had threatened to give Danny back to his would-be murderers.)

Dick knew Danny was a weird guy who never wanted to elaborate on the things he said. (Jason was still confused on what he meant by “rotted milk soul.”) That didn’t mean the comments themselves didn’t say a lot about him. And tonight’s comment, accompanied by the prominent and jagged autopsy scars, said more than Danny was probably willing to share.

#Basically the other side of Danny is just Some Guy. #batman #batfamily #jason todd #batboys #batman fandom #batman wayne family adventures #dick grayson #danny phantom #dp x dc #dpxdc #dc x dp prompt #dc x dp crossover #dp dc crossover #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #dc x dp #damian wayne #Tim drake #dcxdp #I didn’t actually mean to write this #but? like? enjoy I guess

[writingouthere]

exboyfriend!Sukuna x f!reader.

cw: smut, outdoor sex, angst, controlling behavior.

Your date was a disappointment.

The guy wasn't an asshole or anything, but at some point he'd talked about cryptocurrency for ten minutes straight without you saying a word and there was no coming back from that.

"I had a great time," he tells you as you stand on the subway platform after finally escaping the restaurant. You nod noncommittally and wonder if this is the part where he asks for your number. You're calculating the risk/reward of giving him a fake number and having him potentially call it while you're still right in front of him when you hear a familiar laugh from behind you.

"I doubt it," the voice says and you close your eyes. Maybe if you wish hard enough you can develop teleportation and not have to deal with this.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" your date asks, his voice only wavering a little as he looks at your ex-boyfriend. Honestly, you admire him. The sight of the tall, heavily tattooed (alleged) criminal was usually enough to make people cross the street to avoid him but not this accountant? Investment baker? Dentist? Fuck, he'd talked about his job for thirty minutes and you had not been listening. You would have guilty if you weren't actively judging him for not even noticing your lack of engagement.

Whatever, he probably wasn't brave, he was probably just an idiot.

Sukuna seemed to agree as he laughed again and put his hand on your shoulder.

"I'm her boyfriend."

Your date looked at him, looked at you, and seemed to be weighing if this was worth one mediocre date. He seemed frozen for a second until Sukuna took a step forward and the guy's previously dormant survival instincts seemed to awaken and he booked it down the train platform.

Once he was out of sight, you took Sukuna's hand and dropped it off your shoulder like a fallen leaf that had got stuck on your jacket.

"Are you following me, now?" You wouldn't have put it past him. You turn to face your ex who looks not only unrepentant for his little routine but vindicated. Or maybe he just looks vindictive, you can never tell.

"Are you going on dates with any loser that asks?" He tosses back and you roll your eyes.

"You didn't even meet him."

"So, he wasn't a loser? And you weren't deciding if it was worth giving him a fake number and having him call you right then?"

You hated that he knew you so well.

"He seemed the type to call," you concede and Sukuna scoffs.

"Absolutely, that fucker is. Women have been giving that dumb fuck fake numbers since he was begging for them with his little Nokia flip phone."

"Is Nokia still a thing?" you ask and Sukuna glares at you.

"Do I look like Google to you? Hey, don't try to district me, princess. We were talking about how you seem to have gotten it into your mind that you can cheat on me with any guy with a pulse."

"I'm not cheating on, we're not together," you tell him as your train pulls up. You don't bother protesting as he follows you on it, even though you know the old apartment you used to share is in the other direction from your new place.

"The fuck we're not," he seethes. The other riders look at you and you see one or two guys deciding if it's worth trying to get involved but you're more concerned about the teenage girl who looks ready to fight this asshole for you. God, you loved women.

"You're making a scene," you tell him and he looks ready to make the scene Oscar worthy before you give him the look that used to make him not call your friends' babies ugly when you went to birthday parties.

"Where can we talk then?"

"I'm not taking you to my place," you say and he sucks his teeth.

"Then let's go home."

"You mean to your home."

Sukuna looks furious but you're not in the mood. You had just spent the past two hours on a terrible date, which made you think about how dating was just going to be like this until you found a new boyfriend or gave up, which then made you think about your break up and how up until a few months ago, you thought you would never go on a first date with anyone ever again.

You hated that Sukuna had put you here and you hated that you still loved him.

"I'm not leaving until we talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about."

You're so tired, Sukuna is so close and it's been so long since you got to smell him or feel his warmth. Your apartment was still barely furnished but everything in it was new and it still didn't feel like home. The one sweatshirt of his you'd let yourself take had stopped carrying his scent weeks ago, and just being close to him now, it made something in you relax. Like you were finally home.

"There fucking is," he hisses and now he's so close you can make out the scar on his jaw and the fullness of his lips. You used to tease him that you'd never met a man whose lips were as soft as his. He may have looked like tough shit, but you would never catch him out of the house without lotion and chapstick.

You wondered if he was still using the cherry chapstick you had bought him at the grocery store the week before you'd broken up.

"Are you going to marry me? Are you going to give me a baby?"

"Princess-"

"Then there's nothing to talk about," you say and you thank whoever's watching that the train is pulling up to your stop. You get off and Sukuna is right on your heels.

"You don't even want those things right now, why the fuck does it even matter?"

"I want them eventually and if you're not willing to give them to me, then I just don't think I need to keep wasting my time."

You're roughly dragged into a nearby alley and tossed against a brick wall. Sukuna's hand cups the back of your head, taking the force of the slam and you hate that he watches out for you even when he's being a controlling jackass.

"Being with me is wasting your time? Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"Not your girlfriend," you snap back. "Let go, I want to go home."

"Fuck you," he tells you and you're about ready to fight him, grown scary man or not when he leans down and his lips are on yours.

They taste like cherry chapstick.

His hand on the back of your head tightens, his thumb pressing against your neck and making you shiver. His other hand is pressed tight to your jaw and when you gasp against his mouth, he presses down as if he can hold you open and consume you so you can't leave him again.

His muscled thigh is in between yours and you can feel the rough texture of his jeans, the same pair he wore to work, the same pair you'd put through the washing machine a thousand times, rub against where your legs are only covered in tights. The shorter than usual skirt meant to entice your date, and instead it was being taken advantage of by your ex-boyfriend.

Sukuna let go of your face so he could put his hand underneath the fabric of your skirt.

"New outfit?" He teases as his hand slides to the top of your tights.

"Got it for my date," you snap and he growls at you before he rips the seams of your tights. Before you can complain, he's dragging them down your thighs and diving into your panties so he can get to your cunt. The underwear is new too and a pained noise leaves you at the sensation of them snapping against your inner thigh, both at the pain and the thought of how much they cost.

"I still have those blue ones you like at home, the ones you wore for my birthday last year," he tells you as he slides his finger down the seam of your cunt. You're wet and it annoys you because orgasming has been a bitch to achieve since you had to start giving them to yourself again.

"You can keep them," you tell him and he bites your lower lip between his teeth, they'd always felt too sharp for a man and you know you're a twitch or a less than playful nibble away from a busted lip.

"They're not really up for wearing anymore anyway."

You want to ask him what he means by that as he kisses down your neck and thrusts one finger into you, the slide almost unholy.

"So fucking wet, your cunt was always better at talking than you were."

The sensation of being filled even though it's not enough it's not enough begins to itch at your need to be satisfied as your mind fills in the gaps of his previous words.

You can imagine Sukuna in the bed you used to share, the dark blue sheets and the comforter covered in a black pattern that had reminded you of the marks that covered his body. One hand holding your favorite pair of panties and the other his big cock, that sometimes you missed even more than him.

Did he use the panties to jerk off with, the fabric just an expensive tissue for his cum? Did he hold them to his nose and pretend he could still smell your pussy on them in the bed that used to smell like both of you? You had tried watching porn and reading smut, the stuff you had relied on before you were together, and nothing compared to what it felt like to come from his fingers, his tongue, his cock.

The only times you had touched yourself when you were together were when Sukuna had wanted to watch, his commentary pushing you to the edge. He had always known what to say.

Good girl, now try two fingers for me. Not enough? Do you need my cock? Fucking slutty princess, eh?

No matter how demeaning his words were, you had never felt true shame because his desire for you was always apparent. Sukuna never held back praise where he felt it was deserved, and he had always been quick to let you know that what you were doing was pleasing him.

"Pay attention to me, princess. I'd hate to think I was boring you." The words are laced with cruelty and the added pressure of a second figure is harsh, too soon, and still not enough.

The hand in your hair tightens, but the grip still careful not to mess it up beyond repair. Something you'd been adamant about in the beginning days of your relationship. The gentleness of it, of him, makes you cry out.

Since Sukuna was the only one who still seemed cognizant of how you were in an alley, only a right turn from being on a public sidewalk, he was quick to catch your moan in his mouth. Nearly purring in reply, a ridiculous thing for a ridiculous man to do.

"Fuck, that's it. No one else can make you feel like this, this cunt is fucking mine."

"Yes," you hiss out in agreement. Pleased with your concession, Sukuna's thumb swipes over your clit as he continues his punishing rhythm with his fingers. You can hear how wet you are as it echoes off the brick around you. Even though it's cold outside, you feel almost too hot between the warmth of his body shielding yours from the world around you and the heat that's continuing to build up in your core.

"So close, I know you are. Beg me, princess and I might let you come," he whispers in your ear and you would feel embarrassed of the whine you let out if you weren't so close.

"Please, Sukuna. Please, let me come!"

"I don't know. Not sure if I should reward you since you've apparently being going around giving this pussy to fucking anyone."

You shake your head. "No, I haven't slept with anyone since we broke up."

Sukuna kisses you so hard, you're grateful for the hand behind your head because you know his knuckles must be bruised from the force he kisses you with. Sukuna pulls back, a string of saliva connecting his lips to yours and you hate that you find that hot. That this whole thing is hot.

For a second, the softness in his eyes takes your breath away and you almost forget about where you are and what you're doing and why it's the worst idea you've ever had. He's just Sukuna, the love of your life and you miss him so much.

You think he might say something crazy like he loves you or even propose but then the softness is gone and he just grins at you.

"Alright, come then, you've earned it."

With permission granted, Sukuna focuses his attention on your clit in just that way you like in the way that only someone who's done this hundreds of times could do. He's definitely leaving hickies around your collarbone and neck, but for now they feel good and when you come, you bite your lip knowing it will be bruised. A reminder of how you're an idiot when you look at it in the mirror tomorrow.

Still soft with your orgasm, you reach down to return the favor but Sukuna grabs your hand.

"I'm not walking around with cum in my jeans," he tells you, kissing your palm. Typical of him, to end something crass with something sweet. You sigh as he puts you back down on the ground. You pull up what remains of your tights, the fabric uncomfortable on your quickly drying thighs. Your ripped panties lie on the ground and Sukuna looks at them forlornly before shaking his head, dirty alleyway panties apparently being too much even for him.

Sukuna grabs the bag you'd dropped when he'd kissed you and gestures for you to exit the alley. A few passersby give you strange looks but you figure if you were going to be arrested for public indecency, it would have happened already.

"I guess we're going to mine," you say. "I live like another two blocks this way."

"I know," Sukuna says already heading that way.

You blow a piece of hair out of your eye. "Of course you do."

When Sukuna actually types in the passcode to your building you almost lose it, but you're tired and honestly you had kind of expected to just come home to him already in your apartment at some point. Sukuna had never been great at respecting boundaries. Or the law.

You unlock the door to your apartment, it takes everything in you not to ask if he already has a key. You don't want to know. He follows you in and the two of you sit at the dingy two person table you have set up by one of the only windows.

"Cozy."

"Fuck you." He smirks in that way that has always made you want to punch him and you're reminded that you're currently wearing shredded tights.

"Sukuna, you wanted to talk. So talk."

The smirk leaves his face and he looks at his nails, pressing his thumb against the one on his pointer finger and then looking through the 'o' formed there. "You left."

"I did."

He looks at you. "Why?"

"You know why," you say, tired again.

"Sure, you want to get married at some point. You want a baby at some point. I don't see what that has to do with us, right now."

"Because right now leads to that some point. It doesn't just happen. There are things I want, that are important to me. If they're not important to you, then I need to find someone who has the same priorities as me."

"Because I'm not your priority," he says and this is the rehash of an argument you'd had a thousand times. Sukuna was selfish and possessiveness and while that had always granted you a certain security, it had also been a chain you'd constantly worn around your ankle. You weren't going to defend your time at work or with friends to your boyfriend. That belonged to a different time, to different women and it had been a nonnegotiable early in your relationship that he figure that shit out with himself.

"Sukuna, I love you but I'm not going to give up what I want for my future because you don't want it. You don't have to want it, in fact I appreciate that you've been honest about it-"

"So appreciative, you left me," the words are almost snarled and you sigh.

"That's not fair. You can't be mad I want something else, the same way I'm not mad that you want something else. It's not a character flaw to not want to get married, or to not what kids. It just means you have a person out there for you who shares that view. Because it's not me."

"Why can't it be enough to just have a life with the two of us?"

"It's not about whether or it's enough, it's about me wanting something else."

There's a pause. Sukuna claws at the dents already in your battered table and deepens the grooves as you try not to flinch at the sound of his nails bearing down on wood.

Finally, he responds. "You know, I spent my childhood, my teens and a lot of adulthood raising Yuuji because our piece of shit parents couldn't be bothered and let me tell you. It's fucking hard. It is constant and they need so much for you. I didn't do anything but work and watch him for almost two decades and I don't want to do that again. I want my own life."

"I understand," you tell him. "That was a lot, even if you did a great thing by taking him in."

"It wasn't because I was nice. You seem to be forgetting that I'm a murderer. And you want me to fucking watch Bluey with some brat."

"You may not be nice but you do right by the people you care about. I also don't think you've murdered a baby, it would probably be okay."

"That's more incidental than a conscience choice," he says and you know he has to hear how ridiculous he sounds.

"Alright. I respect your decision but for what it's worth, we're not kids anymore and you wouldn't be doing this alone. I think Yuuji turned out pretty great because he had you, and I think any kid of our would be lucky to have you as a dad."

"You would really do all that with me," he says and his voice is as close to wonderous as you've ever heard it. "You really are a lost cause."

You try not to react, remind yourself that this is always how Sukuna responds to affection. He'd laughed at you the first time you'd told him you loved him. You'd punched him and broken your hand on his chin. He'd told you he loved you in the ER as the attendant resetting your hand looked on in horror.

"I think that's enough for today. Thanks for stopping by and for the orgasm, appreciate it," you say, rising from the chair. You walk the short trip to your door and open it. "Hope you have a safe trip home."

Sukuna stays seated. "That's it?"

"Yeah, Sukuna, that's it."

"And if I said I could do this, I could give you those things."

You think about it and look him over. How his hands twitch as if only his ego is preventing them from clenching. The clear trauma that was informing his previous stance.

"I'd say take some time and maybe talk to someone. I don't want to do this with someone who can just bring themselves to bear it. I want them to be as excited as me."

"That's asking for a lot from a guy."

"But someone will do it." Sukuna looks angry again and when he steps in your space, you push him gently away with your hand. He goes to hold it and even the familiar scrape of his calluses against your skin can't make you waver.

"Bye, Sukuna."

Sukuna looks at you, waiting for you to give in you know but you won't.

He leaves without another word.

When the door to the stairwell slams shut, you finally let yourself cry.

----------

It's been a month since you've seen Sukuna and you're on another date.

The guy is unoffensive. He gave you a hug when you met up and he'd made a joke about the plethora of other couples at the restaurant. You two started playing a game where you tried to guess how many dates each couple had been on?

"Three, she's finally figured out she can't put up with how he chews no matter how nicely coiffed his hair is," your date says as you take another sip of your drink.

"That's a second date, his chewing is a commit or quit type of deal and she looks ready to go. Bet they didn't eat together on their first date."

"Is he telling the plot to Dune, he has not stopped talking since we sat down," he says and you giggle despite yourself.

You've just started on the couple both looking determinedly at their phones by the window when your phone rings.

"Sorry, I need to take this," you say and he smiles.

"No worries, I'll let you know how many times she misses her mouth while looking at her phone."

You wave as you go to stand outside. You take a deep breath and then answer.

"Hey."

"Hey, princess. Bad time?"

"No, just, what do you want?"

"Well, I'm planning this first date with this girl and I'm having trouble figuring out how to explain something."

You want to throw up, what kind of test is this?

"What do you want to say?"

"Well, I've heard that it's important to be straightforward with your intentions, so you don't waste anyone's time."

"And what are your intentions?" You manage to spit out and he laughs, his smugness almost seeping out the phone.

"Well not anytime soon, but eventually I think I'd like a little brat. You know, prove to Yuuji that he wasn't a fluke."

You heart is pounding and you hate him. You love him.

"Uh huh."

"And I guess it would probably be easier to do that if we just got married. You know, taxes, healthcare, I still don't have healthcare but my wife will and I've heard you can add people to that."

"This proposal is the fucking worst one I've ever heard," you say, trying to ignore the fact you are now crying in front of a restaurant. People walk by giving you pitying looks, probably think you got stood up.

"It's not a proposal, it's a framing of intent."

"Why do you talk like such an old man, we are almost the same age?"

"Why do you talk like such a brat?"

"You know-"

"Probably," he says and you laugh despite yourself.

"So when is this date?"

"Tonight," he says. "You can wear that dress you're wearing, it looks perfect on you."

"Are you fucking here, you creep?"

"That's no way to talk to your future husband and no. That place is a shithole, I'm at our usual."

"Good, I've missed it. No one makes my drink the way I like it," you tell him and he hums.

"Well, it will be waiting for you when you get here. So get here soon."

"Alright, I'll see you soon."

Sukuna hangs up and you stand there. There's a perfectly nice guy inside. One who makes you laugh and who maybe one day you could grow to love.

But there's another guy across town who is sitting at your favorite restaurant, ordering your favorite drink. His lips taste like the organic chapstick, he claims to be too tacky to be worth wearing but keeps it in his pocket anyway. He built all your furniture and let you paint your bathroom green even though you live in a rental. He's held your hair back when you were sick and cleaned it up even as he bitched at you for the mess and done a rather cruel impression of you retching.

There's another guy that you love.

So you go back into the restaurant to tell your perfectly nice date that something has come up.

Maybe you're a fool, but what else could you do?

Maybe this will be a series, idk. Being an adult is weird. This is def ooc but you know, let me work through things and call them fiction. That's what this account is for.

#jjk sukuna #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen sukuna #ryomen sukuna #sukuna ryomen #sukuna x reader #sukuna x y/n #sukuna x you #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x you #jjk smut #jjk #sukuna

[danielnelsen]

so ive beaten dao solo before (on easy) and ive never played it on nightmare, what if i.........................................hmm...

#shhh im actually making this post a few days after starting this playthrough #it's definitely Difficult that's for sure #but it didnt get Extremely hard until some of the lothering side quests #like i was getting worried about potions in ishal #but those wolves in lothering........ Demons all of them #anything that knows overwhelm can kill you in one shot if it gets close enough and there were.. idk how many.. 15? 20? dude. #im realising im gonna need some very high physical resistance for this run #it's also the first time ive played a solo playthrough as anything other than a rogue (which i usually do for lockpicking/disarming traps) #but i thought mage would be better because you can basically be tank and high dps and crowd control all in one #and it's fun when i dont have to worry about friendly firing my party #now for most solo runs i usually recruit people and just leave them behind but for this one im actively avoiding/getting rid of them all #i started being mean to alistair and i Hate Myself. the first time i went to talk to him and he said 'what do you want?' i wanted to DIE #anyway ive finished lothering and im having trouble deciding which main quest i should do first hrmmmm #maybe i go for redcliffe now so i can level up the mana spell branch? mana clash one-shots nearly every mage in the game #which is completely overpowered but after broken circle it's not that useful anymore #yeah i think redcliffe makes the most sense. ive gotta give up on the idea that i might try to save everyone. not gonna happen!!!!!! #im guessing the meta here for choosing abilities is animate dead for a mage or ranger for a rogue right? #like having that one follower to take some threat? idk that's what im going for. walking bomb is helpful anyway so animate dead is easy #spec-wise im thinking arcane warrior and then... probably shapeshifter? #i was thinking spirit healer at first but that would be solely for the passives and for lifeward #i guess the best use for shapeshifter is healing with flying swarm which requires all four spells so im not sure. other forms could help? #ive got until level 14 to decide so i'll just choose whichever seems more helpful then. arcane warrior is the main one #i dont think there's any reason to choose blood mage except that i wouldnt have to put any points into willpower............. #but by level 14 the second spec is just to support your existing abilities. you cant pick a playstyle to start at L14 in a run like this #assuming i make it through this and try the dlc i think i'll probably respec for arcane warrior and both new specs #they're both very good for melee. and i'll also want the respec to start with more of the new spells because they're also good for melee #personal #da #dao #ash plays da

[aashi-heartfilia]

The hypocrisy of Jinshi and MaoMao

*light novel spoilers*

I just love how hypocritical MaoMao's nature is. She yells at Jinshi for being a 'Masochist' and yet we see that she's no different. Now, by definition Masochist is a person who drives sexual gratification from their own pain and humiliation, plus it relates to Jinshi's tendency to do self harm (like burning his skin with a brand)

And what is MaoMao's most favourite thing in this world?

POISON

She literally takes pleasure in consuming it and no one can convince me otherwise. Plus she uses dangerous plants and animals and snakes whatnot in the name of her so-called experiments. Her dad may call her a 'mad Scientist' but that is a direct indication of self harm.

And she calls Jinshi a Masochist.

I mean, think about it! The amount of anxiety she gives to Jinshi! She came prepared with a vomit inducing medicine but even she had no idea whether it would work or not. She was just hoping it would work in the salt chapter.

And the same goes for her hand, on which she has conducted countless experiments. One flower even burned her skin and its marks never left her skin. She said it was all for her hobby. What kind of weird hobby is that? Maybe, our little adorable mad scientist is just like that.

One brands his own skin, while the other takes heavenly pleasure in consuming poison.

So my point is, Jinshi and MaoMao are not that different as one might think they are and that's why their dynamic works so well.

Let's look at the excerpts from volume 5:

She didn’t know how long they sat that way. All she knew was that Jinshi was looking down at her with a faintly triumphant expression, as if he saw that the breath had reached every corner of her body now. He wiped away the tears that had sprung to her eyes as she struggled to breathe. It was then that Maomao felt a flash of intense anger. “I said that if you were going to kill me, you should do it with poison,” she told him. “I refuse to let you poison yourself,” Jinshi said, his fingers tracing her lips. “You can’t pretend you didn’t know that you were one of the candidates. As much as I’m sure you’d like to.” He wasn’t done, either: “Who was that man, anyway? I’m sure you’re not a dancer.” So he had been watching them! “I was just paying for my drink,” Maomao said. “It didn’t cost much.” She tried to look away, but with his hand on her head, she really couldn’t.

Jinshi just choked her and yet he refuses to let MaoMao poison herself. A lot of people misinterpret this scene, and don't like it all that much, saying it was just fanservice stuff but this is how I see it: Jinshi wasn't trying to kill MaoMao, he was just trying to make MaoMao submit to him for once (even if the way he did it was very wrong, but guess he's kinky like that). MaoMao is actively trying to harm herself and Jinshi loves MaoMao a lot, he cannot just let her kill herself.

It was more about him trying to exert his dominance in their weirdish - complicated relationship and that also backfires on him as we see in the next volume that MaoMao escapes Jinshi's grasps using Pairin's techniques.

And then they both continue to avoid each other in the entire next volume! Because they both realised that they have crossed boundaries.

They both are hypocrites.

And they both refuse to accept their feelings.

In one of the later volumes, she gives Jinshi a piece of her mind on how he should tell her everything clearly, unequivocally, what he feels, and he literally declares that "he will make her his wife", which is nice and all but look at the wording MaoMao used here....

Excerpts from LN Vol 7, chapter 19 called "A man and a woman play the game"

"You’re forever telling me I need to use my words, Master Jinshi, but are you in any position to criticize? Everything you say to me, everything you do, it’s like it’s calculated to save you from ever having to actually say what you mean! To make me figure it all out! You know, you remind me of someone. You act exactly like a man who used to come by our brothel all the time. He was in love with one of the girls, but he would never just come out and say it. He thought it should be obvious from the way he acted. He was so sure he had a good thing going with this woman that he never sent her so much as a letter. I remember how forlorn he looked when someone else swooped in and snatched her away! He kept coming to the brothel after that—to get drunk and whine to the ladies. Well, in my opinion, he could have avoided all that heartbreak if he’d told the woman how he felt. Clearly, unequivocally, so that she knew where they stood. It was the least he could have done!”

Everything came out in a torrent. She felt like she’d said it all in one breath. It was strange, she thought, to hear so many words come out of her own mouth. She was mystified. Jinshi was no less startled, but the shock soon left his face, replaced by something else. He got up off the bed and stared down at Maomao.

Shit. Now I’ve done it. She’d given him a piece of her mind, and he was about to give her one back.

“So I should be clear, should I? Unequivocal? I should say what I mean? If I did, would you actually listen to me? Is that what you’re telling me? I’m going to hold you to that! Right this minute. I’ll say it all. Don’t plug your ears—listen to me!” He grabbed her hands as she was in the process of trying to put her fingers in her ears. He took a breath. He was looking at Maomao, but somehow he seemed almost embarrassed. Finally he managed, “Now listen to me, y—I mean, Maomao! Listen close! I am going to make you my wife!”

It's one heck of a chapter and I suggest you give it a go! The title of the chapter says "A man and a woman play the game" as if to emphasize the very fact that both Jinshi and MaoMao are playing the game.

Jinshi has never confessed his true feelings before this chapter and only implied that he wanted to make MaoMao his wife.

The implications were heavy though on Jinshi's part, and as smart as MaoMao is, anyone would have guessed that MaoMao was one of the candidates for Jinshi's consort. Even the clothes she received (the ones she wore to the banquet) were also provided by Jinshi along with the hairpin. It is never stated outright but seeing as the hairpin was from Jinshi, the clothes are also implied to be the same.

More or less she's always deliberately ignoring the possibility of having anything to do with him, that is more than professional. Some may call it denial, I call it dense. Maybe, to some extent, she herself is not aware of her feelings because she never lets herself feel anything.

Even Suiren pointed it out pretty early in the manga, that maybe it's MaoMao's way of being reserved. We need to keep in mind that MaoMao is an unreliable narrator and it's more of what she does, rather than what she says that makes a difference.

Even in the chapter that I have quoted above, she had every reason to leave Jinshi, she wasn't working for him after all. But she stayed to make tea for him, even after the fact that she had a long day too. She was almost just as exhausted as Jinshi and yet she was there preparing medicinal tea, so that he could get a better sleep.

Maybe she herself is yet to realise just how deep her feelings run. Till vol 12 she seems to have accepted them, but she still is yet to acknowledge their depth. Maybe it's because of her childhood.

It's not a traumatic backstory but MaoMao had a sad childhood nonetheless....

She was raised by her grand uncle and her real father was eccentric, who scared her. Her mother must also appear to be kind of demonic to her, since she was desperate enough to cut MaoMao's Pinky finger and send it to Lahan. So it's safe to say that MaoMao never received proper parental affection. And adding to the fact that, a brothel is not exactly an ideal place for raising a child.... especially when the birth of MaoMao was the one thing that brought the brothel to its knees...even if being born wasn't her choice.

Plus MaoMao stated it herself that when she was a baby, no one would come to sooth her until their work was finished, implying that even if MaoMao and her brothel sisters are close, they are not that close. A mother's love is different and she never received it. No one can love you more than your mother and MaoMao was deprived of that. She soon realised that no one was coming. Life is hard and she has no choice but to face it!

So, she got interested in poison.

Maybe she doesn't love herself or her life as much as she says / pretends she does. She's always like "yeah, I would very much like my head to be with my body" and "if I stay low profile maybe I can survive here" etc but maybe deep down that's not the case. Maybe that's why she loves poison so much. The implications are crazy.

And to break MaoMao's shell, Jinshi has no choice but to be a bit more forceful at times? At least that's how I interpret that choking scene. Jinshi was angry at MaoMao because she deliberately suggested him to marry consort Rishu and danced with Rikuson.

Even if Jinshi never said it outright, he was giving hints the entire time.

But well the tables turned and MaoMao topped him instead, lol (vol 7) and later we even see that our little stray cat has accepted Jinshi and she's ready to be in a relationship with him (vol 12).

Plus she is intrigued by the process of birth (she wants to eat her baby's placenta, it's kind of uggghhh.... but anyways, that MaoMao we're talking about, she's just weird that way)

Maybe not after too long she'll realise that if she has to give birth, she can only have it with Jinshi and no one else.

~Sunshine

#maomao #kusuriya no hitorigoto #kusuriya no hitorigoto manga #jinshi #jinshi x maomao #maomao x jinshi #the apothecary diaries #the Apothecary Diaries manga #tad manga #kusuriya no hitorigoto spoilers #manga #anime #spoilers #kusuriya no hitorigoto light novel #kusuriya no hitorigoto LN #the apothecary diaries anime #shoujo #shoujo couples #seinen #aashi animetalks #aashi heartfilia #mao mao #mao mao x jinshi #mao mao x reader #mao mao tad #maomao kusuriya no hitorigoto #light novel #kusuriya anime #shoujo anime #shoujo anime couples

[inkskinned]

it's just that there's a few more steps you have to take that other people don't have to take, but they don't see the steps, so they think you should be able to hop from moment to moment, a chickadee.

it isn't getting out of bed. it is the weight, the hook in your chest, the anchor. you have to move the anchor first. you have to silence your alarm, but your phone is in your hand, which means now you have to put the phone down, which is too-hard. you get stuck in there for a while, the white screen, mindlessly scrolling. you don't even like this activity, have tried a few other options but - here you are, and time is passing.

you've googled iron deficiency causes depression and if i drink enough water does it help with mental illness and anxiety but no caffiene within the last two weeks, like how you googled am i gay quiz at 17.

it isn't just calling the doctor back, it's the anxiety, it's these little moths in your lung cavities, furious and fluttering. you need to figure out how to capture your fingers from between their nervous bodies. you are an adult, you can say the words yes hi, i'm calling because i need - but you need to practice first. maybe write it down because what if you misspeak, wouldn't that be embarrassing. write it down, but you need to find a pen first. well, actually, your desk is kind of messy. you should get a new pen. you should get a new organizational system. you should try journaling.

your grades in school were always strange. the way teachers would say things like it feels like you're not trying. you could touch stars in the stuff you cared about. well, sometimes. god be willing. homework average zero. oops! your english teacher's wrinkled brow: i know you know this stuff. what the fuck are you doing?

it isn't the showering, it's the mirror before the shower and the soft horrible pull of your naked physique. you have to avoid eye contact completely or else it'll be 93 minutes later and you'll have picked at your skin until every little pore is bleeding. you have to stand up but standing is tiring and also you should have remembered to buy more soap but you never remember anything. maybe get out of the shower and while it's still running and you're still dripping wet, use your phone to take a note. make a note to get your groceries. let the shower run while you stand half-in half-out and get lost in your phone for a moment. come back out when the water runs cold and now you have to sprint to get ready.

your grandmother's frown. you're just being lazy. protestant work ethics in a house that isn't even protestant. she says she just learned different but she means learned better, doesn't she.

it's not that you can't send the email, it's that your hands have been hurting lately and the desk really is messy and also why the fuck would you even care about this thing? doesn't everyone else feel like they're drowning? hi brendon thanks so much for sending! will review and get back to you shortly. but now you're on the internet, close the tab with tumblr on it. go on, close it. feel the little soft vapor of boredom come up and over your eyeteeth and make everything overwhelming and itchy.

literally all you have to do is put on shoes to go outside. you're literally already dressed, that's the hard part of this whole thing. literally just put the shoes on. just... do it! do it! this shit is easy!

it's literally that easy. just stop taking all those stupid invisible steps. stop following your strange made-up rules. times like this, even you're positive you're faking. you just don't want to bother with the cleaning and the cooking and the being-an-adult.

but then - shouldn't you be able to put these stupid shoes on? nobody's even looking. go on kid. life is out there! just take the leap!

get moving.

#spilled ink #writeblr #warm up

[midascrow]

Great Minds Think Alike

┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐

synopsis: Alastor is jealous of his own shadow.

a/n: The reader is portrayed as being pretty smart and into science and stuff. I like the idea of Alastor being fond a character who’s pretty intelligent, he finds them fascinating and likes seeing how they tick. Also this might be a little rushed I apologize in advanced!

└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘

Alastors shadow is a traitor and a fake.

That’s what the man himself believes anyway, whilst he watches HIS shadow flutter around you, a wide smile trying far too hard to appear innocent on its face, as it helps you reach an especially high set stack of papers.

“Oh! Thank you so much…” Your sweet, melodic voice trailed off into an unsure note, not quite aware of how you should address the shadow that’s…ears(?) Twitched and wiggled, eyes(??) squinting back at you as it danced across the walls.

The radio demon wasn’t the least bit sure what had caused his shadows sudden bout of rebel, or why it had seem to take a special interest in you of all people.

Not that there was anything wrong or displeasing about you. Actually it was quite the contrary. Alastor found your company to be far more pleasant than most of the hotels staff and inhabitants.

You were awfully kind for a sinner. And not quite in the same realm of naivety that was the princess’s kindness.

You were smart. Clearly. Always aware of what went on around you and the neighboring spaces. Hardly had you been known to be caught off guard by the entrance of another, nor had you ever bumped into any of the sinners contrary to how the group seemed to enjoy clumping around each other in the foyer during special…”redemption” activities.

You were even so aware as to avoid any touch with the inhabitants of the hotel, including Alastor himself.

And while he wasn’t a very large fan of touch himself, even finding that he could appreciate your aversion to it, the demon couldn’t help feeling a little displeased by the lack of power it left him with when you evaded his touches so expertly.

Always stepping just slightly to the side when his hand attempted to connect with your shoulder. Head craning back, just quickly enough to appear natural when he made and effort pinch your cheeks condescendingly.

Frankly..it was frustrating.

And despite all that, despite all your evasions of the radio demon….here you were, practically-!-canoodling with his own shadow!!

“Oh..! You’re so sweet..” Red ears flopped and twitched, while his eyes narrowed. Alastor could not believe he was being made to watch this…disgusting display of treason.

You giggled softly, hand brushing along an invisible form, as the shadow curled around your own. You watched with a smile as your shadowed hand fell into the hair of the deers, only to gasp when met with the soft sensation of hair beneath your finger tips.

“Oh my…so you’re tangible..?” The shadow nodded vigorously, bumping its head into your palm before grabbing your wrist and laying a gentle kiss to your hand. With that smug fucking grin.

A static screech echoed in the parlour, turning the heads of the incoming dwellers, prompting them to gap at the twitching and seething demon.

And oh, was he seething.

You were far too curious for your own good frankly. So eager to dissect and experiment in what ever had caught your eye. Magic, contracts, demons, anything you could possibly find you wanted to study.

And Alastor was known to be one of the more enthusiastic individuals who indulged in your fascination. Encouraged it even.

Angel had often joked about the way he seemed to preen and puff up in pride whenever he dropped a newly disembodied sinners corpse at your feet, seemingly delighted in your ecstatic gasp of approval.

Which was…another thing. Redemption. Did you want to be redeemed? You’d hardly spoke of it. Sure, you participated in the trust exercised that the princess set up, but nearly everyone had to regardless. Perhaps you were too fascinated with the underworld to truly even think about the idea of redemption.

Alastor himself knew he wouldn’t, nor could he ever be redeemed. And frankly, the idea of you being thrown up to those pearly gates made his insides squirm in the most horrible way.

But that’s not something he wanted to ponder on right now. Not as he practically teleported to your side, shooting his shadow a sneer that it had the nerve to return, as he bent slightly over your shoulder. “My dear! What is it that has currently caught your eye this fine evening?”

When your eyes snapped to his own, he could practically feel the static buzz around him pleasantly, a smug shine in his eyes having successfully stolen your attention from that accursed shadow.

“Alastor! I was just…uh..chatting I suppose with your shadow! He’s been very helpful today. Did you send him?”

No-“Why yes! I did my dear. I figured it wouldn’t help to lend you a helping hand this night, after all you’ve been such a joy around the hotel since your arrival!”

The shadow swished and darted around, vigorously shaking its heads and hands in a way to catch your attention, but a small tap of alastors can to the floor sent it dissipating back to his feet with a displeased hiss.

“I simply could not stop myself from assisting the lovely little sinner that had come into the arms of our sweet little hotel.”

His smile twitched and stretched at the sight of your shiny flattered gaze, that darted across his face with the same awe you exuded when coming upon a new bit of information you had to uncover. A new mystery.

Perhaps Angel had a point. Prior to before…he could feel the way his back straightened..the way his ears stood tall and proud, and the tail of his coat shifted just slightly. The Radio Demon could not deny the pride that fluttered into his dead heart and seeped into his flesh.

Even as he hummed about a new species of sinner he had stumbled upon. Even as he watched with somewhat softer eyes as you gasped and leaned just the slightest bit into his space, eyes alight with interest. Even as his dark shadow like tentacles darted beneath his feet and out the door, in search of a new test subject to grab- just for you.

Even as his hand touched the dip between your shoulders blades, when he led you towards his room for a refreshing lunch before your next scientific session.

Alastor could not deny,

He and his shadow were one and the same.



#hazbin x reader #x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin alastor #alastors shadow #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel alastor