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#and i like the cover and think the Pop Bright Cover made romcom readers give it a chance and likely
mejomonster · 9 months
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My biggest complaint about red white and blue is the cover ToT
(Don't take me too seriously dhdhf)
#red white and royal blue#lb#by this i mean: the novel? AMAZING. excellent superb. i am enjoying it phenomenally#the cover however reminds me more of the 200 page or less romance comedies that are very lighthearted with very little#depth of stress. which is fine. thats also a good kind of book.#but rwrb has like... alex being the biggest bitch in it. a workaholic out of touch emotionally (but very Emotionally acting) man#prince henry and the Actual Horrificly Fucked reality of life in the spotlight. political Weight and stress of calling out poljticial issues#By Name and risking alienating the reader audience by REQUIRING them to learn to sympathize with alex who may be unlike them#and who Feels unlike those in power and who Feels half his heritage hes being estranged from with his moms situation#and then Also asking you the reader to empathize with henry in a way you have provably never had to do in real life with Anyone like him#because in real life we simply never meet someone in henrys situation#its not the polish of prince charming. its the heartwrenching pain and fear and tragedy of Being#The Symbolic Prince Charming. it is a much HEAVIER novel than its cover implies#and i like the cover and think the Pop Bright Cover made romcom readers give it a chance and likely#expanded the readership and got readers to try a novel the would not otherwise have given a chance. so marketing wise its Excellent.#but i feel like... the core Reader who would go out specifically looking for a novel Like rwrb would#see this cover and assumr the story isnt as heavy as they were looking for.#likewise i saw caseys other book cover and i hate it lol ToT i would actively avoid reading it#but becausr its Casey writing? i bet it IS as heavy and complex emotionally and Specific as i want a novel to be#its just the cover of bright pop orange and pink was not designed for Me. it was designed to appeal to a broad audience
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r00en · 4 years
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Still Good Chapter 3.
Listen! I have no excuse other than I wanna give All Might a damn heart attack.
Toshi seeks advice from his new student on matters of the heart and fumbles his way into you’re apartment for some romcom shenanigan. 
All Might/Reader (oc)
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It had been weeks since Toshi's first meeting with that bright young nurse new to UA. If he was being honest he would have liked to spend far more time with her than his current scheduled allowed. Unforgettably between training young Midoriya, his hero work and even the winding down of his involvement with his agency he was far busier than he had been in years. Leaning back against the creaking old beach chair Toshi allowed his mind to wander. Those soft hands, that kind smile, that rushing feel of cool warmth running through his body and numbing that dull ache in his side. All he really wanted to do was sit back and let her take care of him again, after all she did offer her wonderful services. He wondered what else she could do with those hands...
The thought made him sit up suddenly coughing almost violently into his hand. Coating his palm in a thin gloss of blood that he quickly wiped onto his sandy pants. "What a horrible thing to think about a fellow colleague.." he grumbled, watching Midoriya try and hall a rather large dresser from the edge of the beach to the truck. Thoughts like that kept popping in at the worst possible moments and here was no exception. He should be focused on his new student! The entrance exam was fast approaching and here he was having creepy day dreams in the middle of exercises. "A TEXT IS HERE! A TEXT IS HERE!" As if on que and to stroke his embarrassment farther his phone buzzed in his back pocket and of course he scrambled for it as quickly as his lanky fingers would allow.
"Hey hot shot! The entrance exam is coming up! Got any good lesson plans yet or do you just plan to pose at them till they learn something?"
They had been texting like this for a while now. She would tease him or show him something she was working on for the nurses station. New sheets for the cots or a new filing system so Recovery Girl didn't need to do so much paperwork. Always excited about something or asking him to check her work which he was happy to do. But he missed her. That was normal right? They were friends and missing a friend was a rational and natural thing to feel. He kept telling himself that and so far it was working at keeping that feeling of being an old creep away. His eyes moved back to the boy trying to tug a heavy wet trash bag through the deep sand. "H-hey Young Midoriya!" The pop and smoke giving way to his hero form to quicken the walk to the poor tired boy.
"All Might? What's up did you need something?" The bag hit the ground with a gross moist 'shluk' as he wiped his brow of the dripping sweat. Toshi had to admit the boy had come a long way in this sort amount of time. Pushing himself far beyond what he had intended in his work our routine was paying off he had to admit. But he was also young. Had his ear to the ground so to speak on social matters. If he could just be descreet and sneaky maybe he could gain some much needed insight on his new found 'friendship'. 
Coming to a stop and taking a quick look at his impressive work so far All Might tried his best to play it cool and casual. "Something like that, you see I have a question for you if I might." His voice boomed over the crashing waves in the background so he bent low, trying to hush himself as if what he was asking were a secret of some kind. "Hypothetically say you wanted to speak to someone, though a text message but you didn't want to annoy that person or come across as clingy and desperate....how quickly should one respond to a message. Hypothetically of course! I just don't want her to get the wrong impression you see!" 
Izuku stood wide eyed for a second before he tapped his chin with his finger. "A girl? Oh like a girlfriend? You have a girlfriend All Might?" 
As if he was suddenly struck by lighting Toshi jumped back, covering his face with his large muscled hand. "Of course not! It's not like that at all! She's a friend from work that's all! A simple acquaintance! A colleague! Business!" He had hoped the dark light of dusk would hide the bright bloom of red that now heated his face and ears. "That's the thing I don't want to come off looking wrong you see? How would you respond professionally?" 
"You're asking me?" Izuku questioned, head tilted as if he was fully lost at this point. "Well I don't have experience with girls, or business for that matter. Gee I don't really know. How did you act when you are at work with her? Wouldn't it be best to act natural and like yourself? She may think it's strange if you force anything." Such wise words from such a young heart. It almost brought a tear to his eye. Toshi thought a moment "Casual...we only spoke briefly the first time we met and after that it was in fact rather casual as you said." Truth be told they had been texting near constantly over these past few weeks but it had been so organic that up until now he never needed to second guess himself. The nerves of his earlier vision must have flustered him enough to over think things. "What did she ask All Might? If it's alright for me to know..." 
"Huh? Oh yes, the lesson plan for the first semester." 
"So she's a teacher?" 
"The new nurse, attending with Recovery Girl. But she's a brilliant support hero who apparently did front line work back in the states. Paladin I think her hero name was?" 
"THE PALADIN?" Izuku was suddenly frantic, waving his arms and muttering in that high speed rant he so often slipped into. 
"I take it you know her then? Even if she's outside of Japan? You sure know you're stuff kid-" 
"KNOW HER?! She's only one of the coolest support hero's ever! Her healing quirk allows her to heal so rapidly that even the strongest attacks hardly have any effect on her! She wears villains out by letting them beat on her until they are so exhausted she doesn't even need to fight! Plus she can amplify other hero's strengths and help them boost their quirks making them unstoppable! She even had her arms ripped off once and they just grew right back it was insane! Her quirk is said to be one of the most versatile out there right now, though she has very little offensive ability she's still able to fight the toughest bad guys head on, I can't believe she's gonna be at UA this year! Did she get a transfer or something, last I heard she was working in the states so what brought her all the way to Japan I wonder." 
"You're creepin' me out kid!" A swift chop to the head silenced the boy quickly and between his shy apologies and attemps to explain himself Toshi couldn't help but swallow the lump that formed in his throat. Her arms got ripped off?! That tiny, sweet little thing was hurt so badly who knew how many times. Could something like that really be brushed off so easily? Images flashed through his mind of the worst possible scenarios and he had to shake himself to get rid of them. "She does sure sound powerful...but with wounds like that it's no wonder she might want to take it easy and become a school nurse." That must have been it. While helping her grandmother surely was a major factor Toshi couldn't shake the feeling that it was something more. A fresh up and coming super star hero like her just deciding to stop. If her quirk really did heal her the way everyone thought it must have been something else that pushed her away from hero work. What that might be left him feeling sick to- where his stomach should have been. 
Midoriya stayed quiet for once, watching the different expressions run over All Might's face. Even in his hero form he was getting easier to read. "I might not know much about girls or business relationships but it sounds like she wants to talk to you...you should respond. Don't worry about looking strange, just be yourself!" All Might watched in awe as his young protege grinned up at him with confidence. He had a good heart in him, though Toshi was sure this sort of advice would be ignored by the kid himself when it came time for his first crush he was thankful for such honesty. And it was damn good advice. He had been getting by so far on his own just fine, better than fine even. They talked every day like it was second nature. Always showing each other new things or chatting about little annoyances of the day. It had been a long time since he had ever had someone to really talk to about nothing and everything all at once. It made his days a little easier to cope with even with all the massive changes in impending feeling of defeat he had to beat off every night. "Thanks kid." Toshi grinned, smoking rising from his shoulders before the inevitable poof that reverted him back to his weaker form. "Ya' know you're pretty smart, didn't peg you at the romantic type." 
The poor green haired student turned into a blushing mess, tapping his fingers together and wiggling on the spot. "Ah g-geez it's not like I know anything about romance it just seemed like the right thing to say, but wait I thought you said it was just a work thing...does that mean it is romantic All Might?" A stream of blood sprayed from between his tightly clenched teeth. "Young Midoriya this beach isn't going to clean itself! Break times over my boy get back to work! I wanna see at least 1/3rd of this beach cleared out by the end of our session tonight! LET'S GO!" Too caught up in the sudden demanding boom from his idol Izuku quickly started jogging back to his junk pile. "Right Away Sir!" 
Romantic. It wasn't anything like that. Sure she made his heart thud right out of his chest when ever she so much as looked in his direction, and he was sure he could literally hear the blood rushing through his veins when ever she sent a picture of her doing even the most mundane tasks but there was nothing romantic about their interactions. She was a good friend. Toshi hissed softly and covered his scar, the pain was back. Not horrible but he couldn't keep going like this. He had been ignoring it more than usual these past few weeks, telling himself his pain medication would do just fine and there was no need to bother the nurse with such a trivial matter. She wouldn't see it that way though. No, he would surely be scolded for not coming right to her when it flared up again. But he couldn't find himself too upset about that now. Maybe just one visit would be fine. They could catch up and talk and maybe that would even out his nerve a bit. Yeah. It was a professional visit. 
 "This isn't weird at all." Toshi told himself as he stood in front of her apartment building. "Just taking her up on her offer, that's not strange right?" His knees were shaking. Why were his knees shaking? This was stupid. Regardless of how much he wanted to turn and bolt down the street his feet pushing him forward to the stairs. "I think she said she was on the third floor? Or was it forth....damn we didn't talk about this much maybe I saved it somewhere..." Flipping his phone open he scrolled through the many texts from the last few weeks, stopping at a few goofy pictures of her holding his merch looking utterly shocked at the abundance of his face literally everywhere. "All Might underwear! No way I have to buy some even if I just frame them! This is so weird! Japan really goes all out for this sort of thing huh? We never do this in the states, only kids lunch boxes and t-shirts mostly. Maybe a poster. Aww look at this little key chain! Did you pose for all these? This one dosn't even have your face!?" Toshi had long since grown used to seeing himself everywhere. Before his injury it was in fact a pretty decent point of pride for him. Now it was almost a dark reminder of the past, a past he was slowly being dragged away from day by day. A time he would never get back. But seeing her look so utterly smitten with an All Might plushy wasn't the worst thing in the world. At last he found a saved message with her address "...I was really off it's-" "Five, you're almost there big guy." 
Her voice had him jumping out of his skin, clutching his heart and gulping in deep breaths of air as he stumbled back and gripped the stone half wall behind him. "Geez you nearly gave me a heart attack! What are you doing out here?!" Trying to calm his thundering heart he watched as she threw her head back and laughed in that joyful tone he missed so much. Spinning on her heels to give them a bit of distance from her sneak attack. 
"That's my line! You're the one outside my apartment building in the middle of the night. I thought you were still in Tokyo what gives? I only caught you cause you're so tall and that wild hair of yours." She grinned up at him, settling her laugh and readjusting her hold on what looked like a few shopping bags. 
Toshi pulled himself together and stood as straight as his slumping shoulders would allow. "Sorry, I know this is out of the blue...I don't have a great excuse for it....I was just in the area and thought I would check up and see how you're doing." His hand instinctively moved to his left side and she took notice right away. "You should have come sooner you know....I was worried with how busy you seem to be that you hadn't stopped by to see me OR grandma in these past few weeks....is your medication doing enough?" 
He didn't really want to respond to that. He could lie and tell her it was working great...it wasn't. It dulled the pain at best and allowed him to suffer through his worst days but only just. He could be honest and tell her he's been craving her help, and the feel of being able to breath again but that seemed too desperate. "It's.....fine." He settled, letting his hand fall to his side. "Look I don't really want to trouble you, it was rude for me to just stop by like this unannounced. I-" Her tiny hand silenced him quickly as she shoved a finger so close to his lips his warm breath bounced back in his face. 
"Nu-uh! I told you to stop by if you're in pain! I was the one that offered in the first place. Besides it's not like I have anything else going on. It's no trouble at all. Plus..." she held up the shopping bags and gave them a little jingle "I got some of that soup you mentioned." God she was wonderful and Toshi found himself lowering his shoulders and following her lead up the next flight of steps. The promise of some nice warm food, relief from this weeks long pain and her company enough to shut up his nerves for now. 
As she opened the door to her apartment Toshi noticed she almost forgot to remove her own shoes at the entryway. Stumbling back to kick them off haphazardly before moving into the small kitchen. He hadn't been in an apartment like this in years. Since his time at UA as a kid maybe. He had run off to the states so quickly after the fact that he never really had a chance to live in one during his start as an out of school hero. Still he stood there next to her shoes, if this was a short visit he wouldn't need to come all the way in. Putting a bit of formality in the situation might ease his tension a bit. She noticed and peaked around the door way, waving him in. "Come on come on. Don't loom in the door like a vampire. Make yourself at home! Oh shoot!" She stumbled out and headed to the small living and bedroom area. Her futon was still rolled out with it's blankets thrown across the floor. The kotatsu at least was put up somewhat properly with the blanket folded carefully to the side. "I always forget these shorts of things...lets see...you roll this part first...or does the pillow go in like a sleeping bag....no that's too bulky...." Toshi watched her struggle for a moment. 
'Her tongue hangs out between her lips when she concentrates....'  He felt his cheeks flush for a moment before he kicked off his own shoes, moving them off to the side and attempting to give her a hand. 
Once the kotatsu was set in place and the blanket smoothed out she clapped her hands together and let out a long breath, as if they had just finished moving in a whole apartments worth of furniture. "Whew, we never had to do this sort of thing back in the states. No matter how small your apartment was everything always stayed out. Sometimes the couches would lay flat like a bed but otherwise....this is much nicer to look at though. A single room can change so much so quickly! Plus much less to clean." As she set about putting the pillows down and placing a few things on the table for them to eat with Toshi made himself busy looking at the odds and ends in the apartment. It was older, much older than it looked from the outside. The floors were even a more traditional mat style over the hard wood in newer buildings that he was used to. The give felt good on his joints and would be far more comfortable for his boney body to sit on. That goodness for small favors...the rest of the apartment was rather spare however. Nothing stood out as being very decorated. A small book shelf held what looked like basic medical volumes as well as Japanese law and etiquette lessons. She was trying her best, it was so cute. Everything looked clean at least. Tidy and well kept. He watched as she moved into the small kitchen taking note that it just seemed to be the genkan, hall, kitchen, main room and bathroom. Toshi worried if he changed form in here if he would even fit. 
Her voice threw him from his thoughts and he swiftly moved to the kitchen to join her. "S-sorry?" 
"You don't like it spicy right? I would assume too many spices might upset your stomach." A poor choice of words on her part but he just chuckled and gave a nod. "Y-yeah, if it's not too much trouble. Plain is fine. I'm used to it that way now so it's no trouble." 
Making himself busy he washed his hands and pulled some of the vegetables from the bag. Her small cheery smile giving him the go ahead to help, not that she would have been able to stop him regardless. She was going through all this trouble to suddenly have him as a dinner guest the least he could do was chop a carrot or two. This was nice. Quiet. Neither feeling the need to talk and Toshi found himself watching her bounce to the time of his knife strokes next to him as she stirred the broth and made sure to check the rice. Was this what couples did? It didn't feel very friendly....it felt more...domestic. Like a long married couple just going through the motions content to be near each other. It warmed his cheeks and she slipped past him to grab something from the fridge flashing him a smile as she moved back. 
Did she always look so beautiful in her nurses uniform? It had it's own charm sure but the cute checkered apron she wore now in her house slippers and smaller glasses, hair tied up in a big bun and a smile on her face that looked so relaxed and at ease. He felt a flutter push up his chest and into his throat which triggered a mild coughing fit. One he was quick to turn away from the food and aim through the door. 
"Oh Toshi here....is it the steam? This room isn't very well ventilated I'm sorry." She was already on him, rubbing his back and smoothing his hair down softly with those little hands of hers. Fussing over him and feeling the rattle in his chest with a worried look. He gave her a wave and accepted the small handful of napkins she offered him for the flecks of blood that painted his hand. "N-no no you're fine. It happens. Sorry...I don't mean to put you off the food." Her only response was a little shake of her head. "No way, I've seen far worse than a little cough like that. You should see my trying to chop onions. My nose runs for two days and there's nothing I can do to stop it!" She made a face that made him laugh as the both turned back into the kitchen. Looking to his left he noticed the small control panel next to the stove. "Oh! No wonder. Here..." Reaching over her shoulder he pushed a few buttons and the over head fan popped to life sucking out the moist air so they could both breath easy. "It controls the bathroom too, see here this one will heat your bath water or heat the whole bathroom, this one is for the heated rack to dry your cloths....most of this looks like it's for the air. Didn't they teach you to use this when you moved in?" 
She looked about ready to kick herself. "N-no way! This whole time I've been here and I thought it was just an old building it had all this?! Agh stupid! I should have asked grandma when she came to visit!" Toshi smiled down at her as she pressed forward to look at the small panel. This angle made their height difference glaringly obvious and he found himself red faces and stuck to the spot. So tiny, so warm. He could just wrap his arms around her with ease from here. Scoop her up and press his lips to her forehead...maybe plop her down on the kitchen table so she was level with his mouth and- 
"T-t-the broth!" He yelped, pointing to the bubbling pot on the stove that threatened to boil over. Saved. She rushed over to turn the heat down and Toshi secretly wished he had a dial for his racing heart rate. That was close. Where the hell did that come from?! Swallowing hard Toshi looked back to his half chopped carrot and tried to pull himself together. 
CREEPY! That was creepy! Who the hell thinks of their coworker like that!? Was that normal? 'Pull it together you idiot! Don't ruin this!'  "Toshi" 'She's being so nice to us, don't ruin it by being a perverted old man!'  "Hey Toshi" 'Oh man she was so close I could smell the soap on her....smells kinda nice....vanilla? No! Stop it you're only making things worse! You're here to have her patch you up and go home to an empty sad apartment!' "....hey you alright?" 'Shoot how long has it been? What am I doing?! What is she doing she's so close again! Damn it say something!' "ALL MIGHT!" 
Suddenly the whole kitchen erupted in a thick cloud of smoke and there stood All Might in all his All Might glory...just ducked down a bit to fit the tiny space he was trapped in. The poor nurse was suddenly thrown back, hitting the ground with a dull thud. "Ow...geeze if you're gonna do that warn me next time would ya'?!" 
The massive mountain of a man blinked, still stuck in place with his hand gripping the ceiling to keep himself upright. "Ah....Oh no! H-here let me help you!" Trying to shuffle around the tiny kitchen All Might bent lower to scoop her up in his bulky arms and wiggle his way out into the hall where he let her stand by the door. "S-sorry about that...I-" He turned back and at an odd crouching kind of walk moved to take the pot off the burner and click the rice cooker to drain. Lucky nothing was ruined in his little outburst. He had no idea what just happened. One second he was having a mild inner panic attack and self loathing episode, the next she wwas calling out for All Might and it felt like a reflex to just...'poof'. Once he was sure everything was in order and alright he slowly deflated back into his skin self triggering another mild coughing fit that she once again moved to fuss over. 
"Always the Hero. It's my fault for yelling like that really but you wouldn't answer." She was carefully blotting at a bit of blood that trickled from the corner of his mouth and as horrible as he felt right now, as much as it should have been HIM fussing over her...he let it happen. Happily basking in the glow of her mild affection. "What happened anyway? What were you thinking about." It was all he could do not to start sputtering blood again so he covered his mouth with his hand and waved her away. "N-nothing! It was nothing...nothing...just got lost there for a second. No need to worry yourself." 
The look she gave him was far from convincing, even less so when he let out a slight hiss of pain and clenched his left side. "Here...lean back." Toshi wouldn't argue with her. Not after what just happened, he had no right so he just braced himself on the counter and let out a sigh. "I should have come sooner, I know that. I figured you would scold me for letting it get this bad." He tried to joke, ease a bit of the tension only he seemed to feel. How did she do that? Act so at ease, so relaxed around him? Not that he expected her to be some weird fan girl. He preferred her like this so he wouldn't complain but most people looked at him with such sad and pathetic looks. Like they were morning his death while he was still alive. Those who knew anyway. And those who didn't just glanced over him like another weirdo in the streets. "I should say I'm sorry..." he muttered keeping his eyes on the chopped carrots and she lifted his shirt carefully. But he didn't feel her fingers this time, in fact he only felt the warm heated air of the kitchen for a few seconds before her shuffling as she moved to her knees. 
Oh god damn it this was not an image he could handle! "Woh woh woh h-hey what are you doing?!" His hands flailed wildly and stopped to clamp down on her shoulders. "Relax, while I can use my hands it does work better if I do it like grandma." she said that with such calm. Like she wasn't on her knees in front of him in the middle of her kitchen. He felt all the blood rush to his face which he was sure was hot enough to boil the soup all over again, and the rush somewhere else entirely. "Y-your hands are more than fine! You really don't have to do this!" He wanted to add a 'please' to the end of that. He wasn't sure HE could take it but no amount of begging seemed to deter her as she closed her eyes and pressed forward. The feel of her soft warm lips on his scar sent a shock though his spine and right down to his toes. Recovery girl never felt like this before. This was a whole new level of contact that had Toshi gripping the counter with such force he was afraid he was going to snap the marble clean in half. 
"S-shit..." he rumbled into his hand that clamped hard over his mouth. He could take his eyes away from her no matter how desperately he wanted to look elsewhere. Beautiful. This was beautiful and perverted and horrible and so right. A heat pooled in his stomach, fighting against that wave of cool relief that came with her healing. His lower stomach twisting itself in knots as he felt that long forgotten stir in his groin and he panicked. Placing both hands firmly on her little shoulders he shoved her back breaking the contact as quickly as he safely could. "I'm....sorry..." He huffed out, breath coming in deep drawn out gasps. "It's not you I-I just can't...." She started up at him through foggy glasses, her own cheeks painted a sweet pink that made her eyes shine and pop with color. Was this doing something for her to? She wasn't lying. His side felt a million times better and he could breath well enough even if that was now hindered by he desperate need for fresh air and a cold shower. She smiled at him then, thankfully rising to her feet and smoothing his shirt back down for him. "I get it. Don't worry." Was all she needed to say. "But...it feels better right?" God yes. Everything felt so good right now. His side, his lung(s), his missing stomach though it was doing cartwheels at the moment. Everything felt perfect and Toshi found himself staring at her lips as if he were ready to dive right in and kiss the air right out of her too. Even the playing field. 
He couldn't. "Y-yeah. Much." he sighed out, thankful that she looked so relieved. 
"Good! For quick emergency cases my quirk really does work better though direct contact like that. The skin around your lips is thinner than your finger tips and grandma thinks that has something to do with it. Luckily I don't need to use that one very often." They both laughed and Toshi swallowed the mild bubble of jealousy that stuck in his throat, though now he could count himself among those few who held such a privilege. "How about we eat?! I'm starving!" She turned back to grab the pot and bring it to the table, Toshi followed suit, grabbing what he could to lend a hand. 
Once everything was all set and ready she tossed him the remote to the TV and headed to the bathroom. "Pick what you want big guy, I'll be back in a second." He watched her skip off and thanked what ever god was watching that he always wore such thick cargo shorts. 
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Space Between Us (Part 2)
Synopsis: Set in an alternate universe, Y/N and Bucky have been best friends since forever, but sometimes being friends is just not enough. What happens when all of a sudden, your closeness suddenly gets separated by a space you two created yourselves because you were both afraid to face the music?
~ PART 1 ~
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
Warnings: None
Word Count: 2700
A/N: This is straight up a romcom, also I’m sorry for posting an update on this fic late - and suddenly writing other stuff lmao. This part also centers around y/n but it’s setting up something interesting for the next
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2: You become him: 2 years apart
It’s been 2 years since I’ve got settled in and a month since Bucky last visited. He brought pizza and we spent the whole afternoon binge-watching Kitchen Nightmares. It sounds weird when I think about it, but I can’t explain how it happened. Everything was back to normal, well not normal-normal but enough to seem like it was better than the situation we were under months before. Here we were throwing crusts at the screen laughing like idiots whenever one of the restaurant owners would get slammed hard by Ramsay. We were like how we always were, maybe moving out turned out to be a good decision. Not seeing each other every day helped a lot with piecing our friendship back together at least for my side of things – I mean I was the only one trapped in a one-sided love affair. It felt healthy, Bucky came by once every other month and when he couldn’t he’d call me on the phone and tell me about his life before inquiring about mine. Most people would think I’m stupid for still hanging out with him, but even I couldn’t understand how I can’t simply drop him. The world may shake to the extreme and he’ll still be rooted on the ground ready to hold me, and I would be too. This is progress, you know? We’re not living in the same place anymore, we don’t see each other every day, and I’m slowly getting used to living on my own without him, with him just being on the sidelines. He’s just part of the bigger picture now, and not the whole thing. He probably made it easier for me, I knew how much he resisted asking me to let him stay over whenever he’d drop by or how he’d always try to keep our phone calls at a minimum. He gave me space for something he didn’t even know the reason to why I needed it.
The loft looks a lot like a home now, I’ve gotten way too much pillows for the bed and the couch that they’re pretty much scattered around the place, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was one at the bathroom, it’s disgusting but that’s an accurate representation of just how much pillows I’ve got. One of the two bedrooms I have, I’ve made into an office, with a huge cork board in front of my table. I like facing the wall and not the door, I get scared very easily so, it’s best I don’t face that direction. I’ve pasted photos of me and well – Bucky. I’ve got a couple of stupid awards pinned on the wall too, I should get frames for those. I look at the clock and it says eleven.
“Shit!”, I say scurrying as I pull my coat out and look for my keys before heading out and closing the door behind me. New day, new restaurant, new thing to write about. It’s a long story how I came to be a food critic but it’s something I enjoy and get by. Being a writer, I’ve had so many jobs where I wrote things I didn’t give a damn about, and when I started writing about cuisine (which is still a word I can’t take seriously), and everyone believing what I wrote on paper, I raised my eyebrows, gave it a once over, and said “this is it, this is what I’m doing”, well until I grow tired of it, but it’s been 6 years and I’m still at it. Talk about my being devoted. I get out of the building and a black range rover starts blasting its horn.
“Alright! Alright, I’m here. I didn’t hear my alarm go off okay?”, I say as I get on the passenger’s seat. I turn behind me and throw my bag, hearing clutter clash inside of it.
“If it weren’t for the free food I get whenever I join you in your escapades, I would’ve been long gone with the handsome valet guy from the hotel next door”, George grins at me. I peek at the window to see who he was talking about, the guy working at the valet, with brown hair and tanned skin, muscles obviously taken care of, seeing as how it was nearly popping out his uniform.
“Gosh, don’t you think it’s too early for some sexy role play? He’s clearly lost George, I wouldn’t trust him with my car”, raising my eyebrows, a chuckle escaping from my mouth. That guy was clearly not a valet. George hits the gas and we we’re on our way to Casa Manila, a Philippine restaurant in Manhattan.
I’ve gotten 10 hours of sleep, but I’m still tired. George is telling me a story about how his neighbor Matilda couldn’t smell his disdain for her, seeing as how she obviously had the hots for him. If I hadn’t met him during an office party with Ben from accounting and his mouth all over his neck, I’d have the hots for him too, I mean, his English accent would’ve sent my undies flying. “Well maybe if you start bringing boys to the apartment, she’d take a hint”. I say as I put my shades on and drift to sleep.
A few minutes later, we were at the reception of the restaurant, where the statuesque blonde host quickly ushered us to our seat when she found out who I was. The interior was a tropical paradise, traditional in a sense, but a huge contrast from the concrete jungle outside. Light beige covered the walls, weaved chairs were present, never thought they would look like a million bucks but I guess they made it work. I always thought they’d look cheap and itchy but I was just in awe of how the light shines through the huge windows onto the tables and chairs looking bright and welcoming.
“Of course, they’d give you the corner to the window”, George says as he follows to where the host pulls out a chair for me and a young lad introducing himself as our server for tonight. I grin and shake my head of course, they did. They always placed me in a place where I’d feel important but really because it’s in perfect view from the kitchen door windows to see my reaction. I thanked the host and take my time to check the menu and in minutes have chosen today’s target. Eyeing George, he’s found his too. And the waiter excuses himself to fetch our order.
The kitchen was buzzing more than ever, the waiter wrote “VIP” on the ticket in blue ink. George has been used to watching me smile when I make people nervous, or uncomfortable. It was one of my many talents. Let me tell you about George. He’s too tall for his own good, has brown wavy hair, the I-don’t-care-but-I-really-do-care type of hair, the cool guy hair, great hair. He has brown eyes, gentle eyes that would make anyone melt, he’s lean and has a long face like a Disney prince would, with dimples of course, but has got short patience. And an hour after we met at the office party I mentioned earlier, he put his arm on my shoulder loudly stating I was his ride and that we were going home with absolute conviction, after finding out Ben from accounting was married and had two kids. And I ended up driving him to the convenience store he led me to only to wait for him as he came out with a box of beer and some chips and we went straight to his place, ran up to the rooftop and stayed up all night talking about our love an hatred for men. He was home away from home. I knew then we’d be inseparable. As the appetizers we ordered came in, I felt eyes on us, and it’s not from the staff.
“I’m surprised you haven’t melted yet, that man has been glancing this way before we even looked at the menu”, He smirks placing his hand under his chin raising his right brow.
I steal a look and he’s gorgeous, he looks like he was cut straight out a Calvin Klein ad. He’s wearing an off-white suit, looking like a Ken doll with his blue eyes, blond hair and a jaw that could cut seamlessly through butter.
“Well?”, George interrupts my quick inspection. I didn’t even realize I was biting my lip, I roll my eyes at George and give him a devilish grin.
“Maybe for dessert”
“Very brave, Y/N.”
I shrug my shoulders and he laughs as I put my hand on the back of my neck to turn my head towards his direction, and when he realizes I’ve caught him looking, he shyly smiles and looks away at the instant.
-
“I’m going to write it as fresh, creative and confident,” the waiter hides the huge grin on his face with the tray he’s held up. He puts his hand behind his back and signals a thumb up, which makes the onlookers in the kitchen run wild. I wipe any food residue from my lips as George drinks his champagne. Today’s work was over, we had the rest of the day to ourselves, easy. Just as I put the napkin down, my phone buzzes, I look to see who it is, and its him. My eyes grow wide at George, a smile on my lips, as he shook his head at me. It’s a text message, he wants me to call when I’ve got the time he wants to tell me something important and that he’s excited about it, oh I have the time.
“Who’s got you smiling like you’re on cloud nine?” George inquires.
“It’s Bucky! My Bucky. Told me he’s in town and has something important to tell me, looks like he’s pretty excited about it” I suddenly feel stupid calling him mine.
“Remind me who?” I was ready for a little story time.
“Bucky, my best friend. We met during college and were inseparable ever since. We even lived together for three years,” I was trying to make George remember, surely I’ve told him about Bucky, right? He was still skeptical “You know, we dated once, but that really never went good for the both of us, figured we’d just be better off as friends.” I gaze into the distance and remember a funny conversation me and Bucky had when we were college students on spring break.
“We had this crazy pact when we were in college, that when we’re 28 and still unmarried, we’d just marry each other. It’s the craziest thing but we were young and stupid.” It was one of the things that you could forget but just couldn’t, it was tucked away in a happy little box of memories. George’s eyebrows perk up. I squint my eyes, what is he thinking?
“Aren’t you turning 28 in 3 weeks?” shoot, that’s true. I lift my eyebrows up to inquire where he’s getting at. “He’s in town, he’s got something important to tell you, he’s excited about it?” I wave him off, it’s probably something else, right? It’s gotta be, but I mentally kick myself for even considering the idea. It’s impossible.
“If you don’t want anything to do with him, there’s still someone who looks interested." George quickly perks his eyebrows up at me motioning to a direction where I looked to see the gorgeous blond onlooker from earlier walking to our table. I shrug back at him as he chuckles.
-
When I finally get back to my apartment, I pace back and forth not knowing if it was time to call Bucky back. Am I ready to call him? We’ve had conversations on the phone before, why am I feeling nervous? He’s even been here last month, so why even feel conscious about a phone call? He could be calling about a raise, or a trip… or an early birthday greeting? Fucking George, I hate him for putting the idea into my head. Why did I even let it slip out? I found myself dialing his number, biting my nail as I contemplate if I should hit call. Oh! fuck it, what do I have to lose? I’ve already lost him, I’m too old for this. He picks it up on the first ring, my heart stops, I’m smiling like an idiot.
“Hey, Y/N! I’ve missed you,” his voice made my knees buckle.
“I’m good, what about you? What’s the thing you want to tell me so badly?”
“That’s great!” I’m sitting on my bed, my heart is beating fast, what could it be? “I’ve met someone, Y/N. She’s great she’s amazing, I’m thinking of asking her to marry me, and I can’t do this without you.” I fall, a thud on the floor deafening, I almost throw my phone.
“You okay?” he asks. No, I’m not.
“Y-yeah!” I say as I get up, touching the back of my head that has hit the floor, luckily there was a pillow to catch my fall. “Bucky, don’t you think that’s way too fast? How do I not know about this? Why haven’t you told me anything about you meeting anybody?” I was being honest, there was no time to be pretending to be happy when I was clearly dumbfounded.
“I wanted to be sure before I told my best gal, I didn’t want her to be like the others,” like the others? What’s that supposed to mean? I was walking around my room hugging a throw pillow tight.
“W-when are y-you gonna propose?”
“Two weeks from now, I’ve gotta get this right, doll. I know you can help me.” There he goes calling me that, my heart is sinking, this is exactly like a chick flick.
“You’ve been with her for like what? A week?”
He laughs. “Two months, are you not even happy for me?” you bet I’m not, I’m not happy for myself either. Something resurfaces in my head, I lied, I clearly haven’t moved on yet.
“I am! I just, don’t you think it’s too soon? Two months Bucky? Gosh that’s a little fast” I laugh nervously.
“Hey,” he pauses, “I need you. You’re my best friend, why do I feel like you’re turning on me?” I sigh, I’m gonna have to act cool this hot minute.
“Bucky I’m happy for you, I was just surprised,” quickly changing the mood before it turned sour. “My best guy wants to get married, who wouldn’t be ecstatic about that?” I know I’m not. I put on my best cheery voice, maybe a little too much.
“Yes! I knew I can count on you!” joy clear in his voice, “I can’t wait for you to meet her, we’ve reserved a table at that Italian restaurant you love. I’ll see you at 7!” And the line goes static. His excitement won over my tenseness. I couldn’t believe what just happened. Is this a joke?
-
“This is insane George! Two months? How could anyone want to marry someone they’ve been with for that amount of time? Marriage is commitment George, that’s some serious stuff.”
“Bucky’s been at my tail for years! Years! And now this girl comes along and he suddenly wants to marry her?" It was true, even when we’ve decided to end things romantically between us, Bucky would still flirt and act like everything was normal, we slept on the same bed for Pete’s sake! I suddenly wished I didn’t get over my head and moved out, it could’ve been me he’s proposing to. My hair was all over the place, but I didn’t mind, I liked it naturally looking like I was straight out of bed, I put makeup on meticulously, not knowing who my opponent was. I was blabbering away, lighting a cigar as George continued driving. I was speaking way to fast, paranoia clear in my voice.
“I’m going to get him back, George, I’ve got to. I’ll do whatever it takes to get him back.” I say as I let a puff of smoke out my lips.
George laughs, he likes me when I panic, “Oh I bet you will.”
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