#the friend whose shed we slept in certainly didnt

[faultsofyouth]

I was talking to my nb a few weeks ago about our relationships with our parents and when I said something like "I don't expect you to forgive your parents because your parents treated you worse than mine did" he hit me with "I don't think that's true. I never slept in someone's shed to get away from My parents" and im sat here days later like 😶

#my posts #to me forgiving my mom was *chokes* easy bc our relationship was strained by male violence and that wasnt her fault #and once i accepted it wasnt her fault i stopped trying to convince Her to change in an attempt to solve the male violence #and then she had an ally and she stopped acting like a battered woman and we were able to connect the way we needed to #+ the male violence mostly stopped so we no longer live in a setting that is actively traumatizing. #which will do wonders for any relationship #thats not really the case for my partner who has bad relationships with their parents bc they never listen to him #they let him suffer for years with cysts in his wrist and backpain that turned out to be from DDD and refused to take him to the hospital #for either #they are also homophobic so they never came out as bisexual and most likely will never come out as trans to either of them #so thats a very different kind of relationship from what i have with my mom. who has always been my biggest supporter #even when she was my enemy #but. nb never slept in a shed just to avoid going home to a violent fight #thats true. and nb doesnt cry when the door slams hard or when it thunders too loud. thats also true #that boygirl has only ever slept in a shed in order to keep me from sleeping alone in the cold all night. when they could have gone inside #and slept on a mattress in a heated room. i dont think of that night as a bad night #my best friend was with me out in the cold. i wasnt alone. not everybody would do that for me #the friend whose shed we slept in certainly didnt