#which gets my hopes higher than they have any right to be rn

[songchan]

destined by a contract | l.jn. (t)

— pairing: lee jeno x fem!reader

[ft. lee donghyuck and na jaemin]

— genre: arranged marriage au, rivals to lovers, past academic rivals, slow burn, angst, fluff, a bit of unrequited love.

— warning: suggestive, cursing, drinking away all sorrows, more warnings in the full fic.

— wc (t): 718

— summary: a dying father's wish pushed you down to the well of dating life, which made you enter into a new wonderland of a contract marriage with someone that has a long-running rivalry with you.

— notes: wow. hello there, uhhh it's been a while since I've been here and idk what to say or do anything rn. But, this fic idea churned in my head after watching a business proposal and I remembered that I used to write, surprisingly. So, I hope I can fully finish this within a short duration and, honestly, great to be back, missed this place a ton!!

Comment/send an ask to be added to the taglist!!

"This screams desperation."

Your eyes were exposed, filled with plead and desperation despite your face trying to hide it. 

Yes, this was the best solution. 

You are just re-affirming the statement again and again, convincing this is right. You then close your eyes, just wanting his amused gaze to be gone from your vision. This tops the list of the most embarrassing things that ever occurred in your life, even higher than the time you asked a lady her due date when she was not even pregnant. Your intertwined hands grew tighter as the clock ticked by, just wanting a response from him. 

"Did anyone else get this request or was I just the perfect candidate for you?" He spoke. This whole scenario suddenly hits you with a feeling of deja vu. He spoke the exact words when you always wanted to pair with him during any project work. 

There was always the same intention whenever this happened— wanting to be closer to him. 

Well not in the usual way but in the way that friends should be kept close, but your enemies closer. You were interested in how he dealt with academics, was he calm and collected, an extreme genius that he didn't even need to study and just read the material two days before an exam or was he the frustrated and angry kid, forcing himself to get everything right along the way or anything else? 

A laugh escaped from your lips which responded to a confused-looking man in front of you. You finally opened your eyes and your hands felt light again as the air passed through. 

It was always the same response, every time he asked. "Don't flatter yourself Lee Jeno, you remind me of myself, if I just made the worst choices." His expression shifts as he moves closer to you, and a smirk emerges from his lips. You feel his hands just inches away from yours. "Considering what just happened five minutes ago, do you think that statement of yours still applies?" 

His eyes stared into yours, you felt him looking at you with concentration, maybe wanting to get a read of what you were feeling currently. And to be honest, you didn't know if this was the best choice, or was it the best one and your pride seemed to hinder the actual statistics. But you always were known to look before you leap. Despite your emotions hating every nerve you took to decide upon this, logically this ticked all your mental points. You didn't dare show any hint of reluctance upon your decision, you never wanted to give a chance that he may ever win, everything always went to your plan and not even something as life-changing as this would fuck up any of the plans you made for it.

"I look before I leap you know, and considering this seems to be a churning well of hell, if jumping right into it is the best decision, I would absolutely do that and still make myself be on top." You looked at him, confident with your own words. His eyes still linger around, wanting to see any weak point he can hit but with no avail he pulls himself back to his former stance. 

"The immediate switch you have always surprised me when we both were students and safe to say, it still does." You bore no expression, even if this information was unexpected from him. You see his secretary walking slowly towards the table. Jeno stood up from his chair, giving a nod to the older male beside him. "I'll think about it. But considering our history, I'm sure you already know what that means." And with his business smile as a sign of goodbye, he made his way towards whatever business he had to attend to.

You knew exactly what he meant, he started to plan out something, which meant he already agreed upon it. You swished the cold drink with your straw as you pondered upon your thoughts. 

You always ignored that certain emotion whenever you were with him. Was it the feeling of excitement, or entertainment? Whatever it was, you didn't realise your soul was craving it more than you would like to acknowledge it.

#nct #nct dream #nct jeno #jeno #lee jeno #nct fluff #nct oneshot #nct drabbles #jeno fluff #nct imagines #nct dream fluff #nct dream oneshot #jeno x reader #jeno drabbles #jeno imagines

[langernameohnebedeutung]

Not sure if you're the right person to ask this but since you've been the only one on my dash talking about the things happening in chess rn - why the fuck are chess tournaments even separated by gender?! Like, genuinely. I can guess that it started that way thanks to misogyny and "conservative values" or some shit but nowadays? The separation in physical sports still makes sense because men do tend to have an advantage over women statistically speaking, that's all fine and dandy. But in CHESS? w h y?

Okay, this is the right ask now:

I mean, it's a difficult subject. Historically, chess was treated a "male" game, so boys were trained more thoroughly, more professionally, in far greater numbers which means that chess was largely a male sphere (which, obviously and as usual, led to the common interpretation that women are less capable at playing chess because 'hey, if they were, they WOULD be playing chess, what do you mean context matters lol' which further alienated young women and further cemented the idea of chess as a male sphere and hey, what's the point of training women to begin with).

This also had a political component: In some countries, chess was a national sport, in others it plays a minor role - which also translates into different average Elo rankings per country (so unless anyone thinks people in the Soviet Union had a magical chess gene, I think we can safely assume that training as many people as possible in chess translates into a high chance of ending up with a significant number of very good chess players. And those findings we can also apply to he gender disparity.) This also led to the usual sense of entitlement among male chess players that chess is 'for them' and that women trying to get into the game are somehow corrupting the dignity of the game or being intruders or just generally are not to be welcomed. This is something you historically often see when a space was opened to women like the first female university students who experienced a bunch of harassment at the hands of their male peers)

So all of this resulted in a scenario where a lot of male chess players were openly resentful against female chess players (translating into adverse playing conditions for female players), women on average had a disadvantage due to many of them not receiving the same training as their male counterparts (which results in lower Elo rankings) as well as the collective numerical disadvantage because men outnumbered women 16:1, which means that in pretty much any competition, the odds of a man winning were 16x higher than the chance of a woman winning.

So as a solution, the female world championship was established. And real talk, I don't have an issue with that. As I said, in chess, there are no physical denominators that would make a more sensible categorisation to even the playing field. It is also a game designed to leave little to no room for luck to determine the outcome. Women are still free to participate in the "regular" Chess World Championship, it is not restricted to men only the way most physical sports are. So this is mostly about representation and honestly, from that angle, I do understand the desire to show young girls that chess isn't a "male" thing and that they too can win and that there is a community of like-minded women (which is something I think is especially important for young girls that weren't made to feel welcome in the chess playing spaces in their direct environment). Although my long-term hope would definitely be that one day, we a) do something about misogynistic discrimination women experience in general chess and b) that enough young girls receive the training and the encouragement to play chess that one day, this whole thing is no longer an issue. Right now, the surge of chess in popularity among kids, I see that as a huge chance! This is great and I hope this causes a shift in sentiment!

(Another exception: Men and women also compete together in the equestrian categories in the Olympics. Except here with women significantly outnumbering men)

The thing is, I have yet to see any explanation for stripping trans men of their titles when they transition or stripping trans women of titles AND banning them from women's competitions that isn't…just about being a dick and harassing and humiliating trans people. Especially when the FIDE wants to document this (which btw would be highly dangerous for trans people from certain members states). Not to mention a bunch of misogynistic implications to boot by pretending that AFAB people don't have a chance against AMAB people one-on-one.

This is just bullying, plain and simple.

[lordfreg]

So like- I've been wondering this after I found out about Runna... How did she and Donnie meet?

Also, when did they get married and decide to have their lil baby?I JUST WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS CUTE LIL FAM😭😭

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU THANK YOUU OMGGG‼️‼️‼️‼️BRO ALSO SORRY FOR NOT RESPONDING I SAVED IT AS A DRAFT AND FORGOT ABOUT IT 🙇🙇🙇VERY SORRY okay so rn runa is going through a HUGE character redesign and species change because……….. impulsive behavior and also it was getting difficult to draw her, BUT‼️, i will answer those questions …

IINNNNN AN UPCOMING FIC— I’ve been planning on how they meet for a while but I can give you more information about Runa, like a wiki article or something 💀, I hope that helps a lil cause i cannot start answering questions or else I’ll spill the entire story line💔 (im sorry I’m so mean😔)

ANYWHO

Runa O’Crest comes from a powerful Yokai family that married into wealth, making her family name lower then royalty but still higher than a Duke/Duchess. She prides herself on her name and wealth, because that’s the core value that her mother, Princess Toriki, and her father, Prince Synson. -They aren’t Queens and Kings yet, because Synson’s father hasn’t given him the throne yet; So Toriki isn’t a real princess (a fact she refuses to address), making her a princess consort.

Runa’s parents are overly protective of their youngest daughter and only heir after their eldest daughter, “Tawny Owl,” abdicated. This causes them to almost pressure Runa into being a “perfect” princess, she feels like her life revolves around trying to impress her parents. Still, Runa sees that her parents favor Tawny over her, which causes her to feel like she’s not good enough.

(I should say that I barely have a timeline scratched together so this is really funky💀 this, currently, isn’t my biggest priority atm, so I haven’t really put a lot of time into this💔)

After her parents decided that she’s finally ready to go to the outside world, they let her go to April O’Neil’s high school/college(???), and that’s where she meets the Turtles. The Ninjas were investigating a strange uprising of mystic mumbo-jumbo on school property and April called the experts.

Donnie was quick to jump on this opportunity as he investigated the mysterious happenings and quickly found the cause; Yokai taking the forms of humans and attending school!

But before the Mad Dogs came to the conclusion that there is more then one Yokai going to this school, Donnie tracks a trail of magic to the punk-rock girl, Tawny. And subsequently her sister, Runa. 

April and Tawny have met before, just under harsh circumstances and thus ended up not really approving of each other. 

Donnie followed the trail of mystical residue with his magic-seeking googles; and ends up at the feet of Tawny O’Crest, the “rebel with a plan.”

After a brief introduction, Runa stomps over to her sister and demands to know what April is doing talking to her sister.

“Hey, Runa,” April called, “Why don’t you make like a tree and leave?” April hissed, getting closer to the mean girl’s face trying to intimate her.

“Why don’t you make like an overactive sebaceous oil gland cell, and get out of my face.” Runa hissed back.

“Did you just… reference human biology down to its microscopic exocrine glands?” Donnie said, scooting April out of the way and behind him, “To insult me?” He asked, angry, but mostly confused fascination.

“Yeah, what about it? You’re just jealous because I won first place in the Science fair!” Runa pouted back.

At this point Donatello was stunned. This-This total wet towel had won over his brilliant and ground breaking tech?! He would not stand for this!

“Excuse me,” he said softly, “WHAT?!” He shouted so loudly that Jersey could hear him. 

“That’s right, Grinchie,” Runa said, eyeing him up and down, “I won.”

“oKAY THAT’S IT!!” Donnie shouted, pulling a dramatic anime pose while pointing to the girl, “YOU. ME. RIVALS FROM NOW ON! Any objections?”

“Well, I think-.”

“GOOD!” Don shouted, “We are now rivals!!”

And with that, the Mad Dogs left and the rest is history. As you can see, Runa was very prissy and quite obnoxious. But after meeting the turtles and challenging them, competing with them, and ever befriending them, she starts to let her inner self shine.

She becomes more helpful and affectionate towards the Mad Dogs, and realizes how messed up her relationship with her parents is. And the scheme that was running along just beneath the surface.

You see, Runa’s parents had invested a lot of money into the Battle Nexes, only to have their only source of income and entertainment slaughter by a creature they told her to get rid of.

“What a fitting end.” Toriki hissed, “She did always like to keep pets.”

So, Toriki was like, “oh shoot😨 we need more money🧐 how will this happen🤔 I know!🤩 the Battle Nexes 2: electric boogaloo 🤩🤩”

And Toriki sends her beloved children into the human world to get the best fighters they know of (this is a post-cannon fic btw so after the movie), and force them to fight in the Battle until they die or find a better fighter.

They have their sights set on Leo.

OKAY THIS IS RUNA’S NEW DESIGN AND I UH- IKD MAN TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK💖

Owl and Rabbit hybrid because I’m indecisive af

NOW, ON TO ALEXANDER

tw/////dark subjects like sh and ed 🦋 SO; getting into Alexander’s trauma here, he’s very insecure about his plastron because it resembles Leo’s too much, making him feel kinda guilty for just,,,looking like donnie’s twin the slightest bit. He’s tried to smooth it out with filers (the nail things to sand your nails idk) and even sand paper, it’s kinda like self harm because it hurt really bad. And he was too scared to go to his parents so he went to April instead who told him that that wasn’t okay and his parents loved him no matter what. There’s still marks and scrapes but it’s mostly healed. (Originally drawing Alex with Leo’s plastron was a slight mistake but over time it kinda stuck and now you get lore) 

he was also getting bullied at the Hidden City school for being half mutant and half yokai, something he still refuses to tell people until he has confirmation that they will accept him in any way, but as he grew up it only got worse. They wrote it on his lockers and backpacks, they even drew it on his face when he fell asleep in class once! He never told donnie, (but his father figured it out pretty quick), because he knew donnie would obliterate the school if he found out. So he told runa who,,,,handled it a-prop-et-ly. After that he trusts people more easily and gets betrayed yadah, yadah, yadah…

And Alex has always felt he was different from everyone else, mostly because of his strong mystic energy, but I digress.

He felt extremely thin with his plastron and resorted to eating a lot, so much so that he would get sick. He would just eat random shiz too, but that’s more of a inherited trait because he used to just eat random stuff as a baby. 

But overall, he’s a happy kid, a little naïve, but mostly sweet. 

NOW ON TO DONNIE

the only notes that I have on him are these ones ;

because donnie doesn’t like physical touch that much in his teen years and never really allowed himself to be all soft and affectionate towards his family and friends, when he’s an adult (future au with alex) he’s very cuddly and venerable. (not to his family but only to Runa and maybe alex if it calls for it) and that’s why future donnie doesn’t really wear his battle shell around the house

And that’s about it for Donnie since his personality doesn’t change that much.👁👁

Anyway, here’s some fun trivia facts because I need some way to end this ;

-Runa and Donnie are very similar yet different at the same time. Runa is mean because everyone told her she cared too much so she stopped caring completely. Donnie was just born like that and he’s just naturally defensive as a safety precaution.

-They argue a lot over who’s right, sometimes they seem to argue for fun. But they will never admit if one of them is wrong until they’re proven right. Then neither of them will bring it up ever again. Sometimes Donnie will let Runa prove she’s right just to see her smile and laugh. 

-When they game, don will let her win (rarely) just to see Runa’s dorky victory dance. Then it just turns into a dance party for everyone. 

-When in her Yokai form, she accidentally hits people with her tail feathers.

-Runa listens to Shake Your Tail Feathers from Chicken Little unironically. 

-Donnie makes dirty science jokes when he’s hormonal🫣. I.E. “Much like warm air molecules, I never stay on the bottom.” 

-Donnie learns what every single coo, chirp, squak and screech means in owl language. Runa and Donnie usually talk to each other like that so Donnie doesn’t have to admit how mushy he can get around his brothers. 

-They say a lot of things at the same time. Runa thinks a lot like donnie so she knows what a lot of complex abbreviations for blueprints are.

(I should mention the fun facts take place after they had Alex) SO, that is all I have about this family!! Sorry if it’s long it’s just I have SO much to talk about with them, and don’t even get me started on NEXT GEN au (it’s future au with the kraang and Alex and his friends and all that stuff). I’m just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SO, SO very happy you asked!!

Planning to write more in the future, so stay tuned ~~

#rottmnt #rise donnie #rottmnt alexander #rottmnt runa #rottmnt oc #rottmnt Runa O’Crest #rottmnt Donatello Hamato #rottmnt Alexander O’Crest Hamato #ask #thanks for the ask cherry!!^^ #really enjoyed infodumping about thisssssss #makes me so SO happy

[nothorses]

Seeing you speak about your experiences in school has given me a little hope. I'm pretty similar to you academia-wise (severe ADHD, almost identical story about high school) on top of having a physical disability and depression/anxiety combo, and I'm currently struggling for my life in a community college because the school has been pretty adamant about not giving me accommodations I need. Plus covid meant I discovered online learning is awful for me and I dumpstered my gpa so badly the school almost kicked me out (so yay I have to do in-person classes while being high-risk for covid during a time when no one is masking anymore). But a certain academic subject is basically all I live for. I've been losing hope that I'd ever be able to get into a master's program and do the work I've wanted to do since I was like 3, but I see that you have struggled similarly and were still able to go to a different school and get into a program! That makes me feel a bit more optimistic about my situation. I'm not able to word things very eloquently bc I'm sick as hell with the flu rn but I hope you understand what I mean. Higher education is hostile to human life, especially if you have any kind of disabilities. It's inspiring to see others with similar problems to you be able to persevere.

I'm really glad I've been able to give some hope!! I will say- I credit a lot of my success to getting a diagnosis and treatment, specifically at an age where I was able to make changes I needed to make & was in control of my own identity and autonomy. I also really lucked out on that I majored in education in a school notorious for teaching an extremely progressive philosophy of education; literally designed to help students like me. And the professors generally practiced that, too.

I say this only because I want to be honest about what this stuff can be like- i.e., really hard! You can suffer and claw and drag your way through it, and I don't doubt that you can. But if you can get any help or resources, at all, please please do. If you can find someone at your school who will help you figure that out, please do! Whatever you can to make things even a little bit easier is very, very worth it.

But you can do it. And some tips that helped me:

See if your school has learning disability testing; a lot of community colleges do, and can provide accommodations through that without an official diagnosis.

"Academic renewal" can remove classes from your record that you have retaken for a better grade, or that aren't relevant to your major, which can be a HUGE GPA boost depending on your situation.

Transferring to a 4-year means acceptance rates are a lot higher than if you go straight from high school!

Depending on school and professors, oftentimes your professors will give you accommodations without you needing backup from the disability accommodations office. It's worth asking about!

4-year universities are also more likely to have their own internal healthcare services; I was able to get ADHD treatment through mine, and they deal with that WAY more than any other clinic because it's so relevant to school in the first place. They also often work with external insurances, or they might have a school insurance you already pay for as a student.

I hope you're able to get the support you need, and good luck!! And if school ends up just not being for you, that's okay too- it might not be a bad idea to look into ways you can be involved in your field without a degree, or through some kind of alternative education or trade school program. You can always come back and finish your degree another time; you're entitled to the same catalogue rights from when you first started (i.e. the degree requirements stay the same for you, always.)

[killerandhealerqueen]

Hello it's been a hot minute! Hope your doing well!

I just wanted to ask how did you decide what to do after you got your bachelor's (I remembered correctly right? Your in a master program right? It'd be embarrassing if I'm wrong!). I have this last semester then I'll get my bachelor's which is crazy and I'm not ready but I am. People are expecting me to get a masters and some think I'm going to get a PhD. I want to enter the work force idk if I can mentally handle more school......... At the same time it's seems like the safer route or the more comfortable route. With the way the US is rn it might be better for me to continue school. I just don't know and I know if I continue school my parents will be proud of me too which is another thing I'm starting to worry about........

Either way feel free to ignore my panic message lol

-💜

Purple heart anon, my beloved! Hello darling! I am doing well, how about yourself?

As for me, I already sort of had it in my mind that I was going to go to grad school in high school. And then in college, after speaking to my professor/advisor, it was pretty obvious that I was going to need a graduate degree, especially if I wanted to get paid more. I mean, having a college degree is great, but in the field of forensics, it really helps if you have a higher education. I mean, you really don't need one, but most agencies require it. Like, when I was an intern for the medical examiner's office, everyone had a bachelor's degree, save for my boss and one of the investigators (but he had a masters in accounting so...I don't know if that counts). My mom wanted me to get a PhD, but I said nah, fuck that.

Honestly, you should do what's best for you. Sometimes, a higher education after college is too much and they just kind of want it to be over with and that's totally fine. No one needs to go onto grad school, it's more of a want than a need. (And grad school is expensive, even with scholarship. So you should also make sure that you're able to afford it.)

You could always do what my friend is doing, which is working and going to graduate school. She works during the day and goes to grad school online (like me. Online grad school is honestly a saving grace). So, that's always an option, if you want to pursue grad school but also want to go to work. I'm not saying you have to, I'm just saying it's an option. At least in my program, a lot of people in it are working adults or people who are going back to school after so many years.

However, graduate school is also about time management. You don't have people hovering over your shoulder, you're expected to know what you're doing and make sure you meet deadlines (kind of like work). But I personally enjoy grad school more than college and especially more than high school. I'm learning shit I'm actually interested in and don't have to take any fucking useless gen ed classes. So, that's one thing to look forward to in grad school. But also, grad school has a higher expectation of you; you have to maintain a B average (3.0 or 3.2 average, I can't remember) or else you fail/get dropped from the program.

But again, you do you. You have to do what's going to be the best for you, mentally, physically, financially. You also don't have to go to grad school to please your parents. Go for you. I'm in grad school both because I wanted to and because I'm petty/spiteful (a lot of people said I couldn't go to grad school/wasn't smart enough...I have a fucking 4.0 GPA bitches, what now?) If you want to go to grad school and think you can handle it, then I say go for it! If you think that going into the work force is a better option and that's what you want to do, then go for it! At the end of the day, it's your life and you gotta do what's best for you.

I love you, and congratulations on almost getting your bachelors, that's absolutely amazing! I wish you the best in your last semester! You absolutely got this!

#sass answers #purple heart anon edition

[readysetjo]

in light of quietly losing a loved mutual a couple of weeks ago, I believe, because I don’t post enough (subjective) about what’s going on with I-/-P but also bc I post often about doing due diligence before posting/ sharing online that might come off as idk complacency(?) to some rather than my response to the shock of watching kind people be radicalized against groups of people (I won’t be specific about which groups bc I’ve seen people become sudden extremists on all sides of this issue)

but I do want to be specific about my beliefs:

1. we are seeing innocent people dying and that should be talked about loudly and it’s disgusting that a call to a ceasefire is taking so long. I have ideas on why the powers at be have made certain calls but I won’t start rumors with my conjecture. regardless the fact that Israel’s army has not called for a ceasefire despite knowing the horror it commits is a horror beyond belief.

2. Palestinians are suffering at a infinitely higher capacity at this time and our global support should be for them at this time, WITHOUT resorting to antisemitism to give our support EVER. hate is NEVER allowable

3. (personally) I tend to shut down with snuff content and seeing frequent snuff (even if not directly dead bodies but filming around it) makes me unhelpful to this cause so I don’t get involved in the posting of this issue. people aren’t numbers but I find that I am easily moved hearing of the numbers of people displaced, murdered, and tortured without seeing it. if that makes you think I’m weak, that’s okay I choose the phrasing “not desensitized” instead. I work in a hospital, started in the middle of covid, and am around death a lot so my tolerance for seeing it outside of work is probably lower than average. I do my support in private and abstain from sharing bc of the next point

4. to avoid OCD spirals on morality and my hyper-responsibility that I can get myself into, I say affirming phrases to the extent of “everyone is responsible for their own education it’s not all up to me,” “at this point everyone knows this is a horrible human rights concern rn and I would hope people research for themselves on this issue,” and “it helps no one to doom post and doom scroll”

5. what I want, after a ceasefire, is for a workable treaty and for self-directed government as decided by the people of the area for each of their countries. I’m not sure if one-state or two-state is the solution so I won’t guess. as well, I want proper sanctions for the government of Israel and any other government who provided them war supplies, including my own USA. the sanctions need to include a large sum to Palestine as they grieve and rebuild. this is bare minimum and does not address many complexities I’m sure there are smart, kind people with more thoughts

6. we are going to see more and more people displaced by environmental forces in the near future we as a global community MUST figure out how to work towards workable peace and cooperation. if these counties can do it, then I’m sure there is no excuse for anyone in the near future to not do it themselves. so the global community of the internet NEEDS to become hungry for peace over punishment

7. beyond those thoughts, I lack the knowledge of the history of the area, politics, geopolitics, sociology, etc. to provide my take on what should happen after that so I generally try to keep my ideas to myself bc they are probably peppered with a lot of naïveté. not just anyone can be an expert and we aren’t all capable of becoming skillful at all subjects and that should be acknowledged as we comment on public forums

8. I love you who share information it has been helpful to me and I love you people on my dash and mutuals for talking about creating genuine peace.

9. I believe that my personal words matter more than a reblog so this will probably be my only real post on this issue going forth besides reblogging humanizing depictions of the Palestinian people through art and continuous posts reminding careful posting and kind relations with each other

#forgive any lack of knowledge that would have made me better at articulating this I have already admitted to that in the post tho #me being me

[smilesobrien]

WHAT idk if this is up to date but i saw comm prices you posted in the summer and are those prices real?? it says a piece like the one in charlie's pinned (b'elanna's three weed smoking girlfriends) would cost 40$?? possibly even australian dollars which would bring it to only 24€????? what!?!?! you are severely underpriced, i would've guesstimated that piece to be like 80€ or 100usd (which i'm aware is more but i usually expect slightly higher rates from usians since they have a higher cost of living esp if they have health problems which so many on tumblr do) and you're telling me it's twenty four euros??? if i were not literally struggling to buy groceries without accruing further debt rn, i would pounce holy shit

so first and foremost, THANK YOU for saying nice things about my work!! i really hope ur financial situation improves soon too, i know how much of a struggle it is

and also... it took me so long to answer bcuz i was overthinking it. as per usual. feel free to skip the below though lol

so i really wish i could say something about how i really considered the Artistic Worth(tm) of my work when pricing it, but, well... my main actual consideration was, how low could I go without making it just a total waste of my time? fact is, the two main factors in pricing for me are:

1- i work full time, so any artistic work cuts into my free time... which i'm kind of reluctant to give up... haha!!

2- we are on tumblr. this is the only website where i really have an audience, and it's the donation post website. (to be clear, no hate to donation posts- emergency comms are just donation posts for people who can't accept money without offering something in return even if they would be better off not doing that).

so factor 1 pulls the price up, because i can't be dragged away from my precious sitting around doing nothing time without a financial incentive, and factor 2 pulls it down, because receiving small amounts of money is still better than receiving no money at all, especially in times of financial distress.

on the subject of financial distress, though, i will admit i'm thinking of opening them again- dental work and car work aren't free SADLY, and there's a lot of that going on in my life right now. the only reason i haven't already is that it hasn't hit the point where i need money that i don't have RIGHT NOW, which was the case the time my old job screwed me right before rent was due and the time i turned out to owe the government taxes. is what it is!

final note- another factor, which is secondary to the other two but still influences my decisions somewhat- i'm fast. this is an adhd cliche, i know, but my 1-4 week turnaround time consists mostly of... trying to get myself to work! since you mentioned charlie's pinned, i might as well be real with you and say that was probably only about 2-3ish hours of actually working. i've streamlined my process down a lot over the years, because if i don't get things finished in one sitting it's very, VERY hard for me to finish them at all... so speed is key. At a rate like that, you're looking at between $13-$20/hr, which is a decent enough tradeoff that i feel it's worth it.

#again i really appreciate the kind words #the arts are criminally undervalued in society at large so its always nice to hear someone appreciate it...! #answer tag

[free--therapy]

thank you so much for being so kind to me always. i really just sometimes feel guilty because you hear me out without judgement and yet i in a way "took advantage" of that back then by pretending to be different people even though i didn't mean it in the beginning. but still, purposely writing messages differently as if i was different people is such an embarrassing thing to do and yet you don't point it out in any harsh way to me and understand my actions. I'm so grateful honestly 😭

i usually do well all year but whenever I get vacations from university which go beyond a month, at those times, spending so much time alone at home makes me remember everything that has happened in the past two/three years- all the anxiety, uncertainty and overthinking- i end up remembering it all. and a few of the my most triggering worries end up coming back a bit (like worrying over my bad actions, about that adult content i watched, or over my health anxiety about ocd) and usually i can get out of that loop much better now but still there are times when it ends up affecting me still and messing with my thoughts again. so i end up finding myself going back to those old thinking patterns again where i would constantly question if i had any worth or if i deserve what i dream of or if i deserve other people's love despite doing wrong or bad things in my past. though it's not as bad as it was back then, more like a worry returning but in a milder way haha

but like i mentioned above, usually this only happens when I'm cooped up at home for a long time with nothing much to do. when I start spending time outside again, with time i naturally see how i was worrying over nothing and can be kind towards myself but i really want to be able to be good to myself even at times like this without letting the past affect me. right now is also a stressful period because I'm preparing for finally starting interviews for a full time job since I'm done with university but i feel like I'm so immature and irresponsible for a twenty two year old. everything being stressful rn might be one of the reasons my anxiety is a bit higher than normal. hopefully I'll be able to maintain a more positive thinking pattern without getting stuck into those old thoughts again.

i hope you're doing well too! i pray you have happy and healthy week ahead and thank you again for hearing me out 💗

Hey Anon,

It's normal to find yourself falling back into those thinking patterns again because they were your survival mechanism for such a long time. When this happens, you gotta remind yourself that that is your old way of thinking and that you have the power to switch to the new way. It takes time and practice to keep yourself focused on what really matters, but you shouldn't beat yourself because you're finding yourself going back to those old ways of thinking.

I'm sure you're going to do a lot better than you think with those interviews, so don't stress! You are probably a lot more mature than you realize. Try not to play yourself down and instead focus on what good you can bring to these companies :) You got this!

#ask #answered #anon #anxiety #overthinking #repeating old patterns

[doitytoity]

9.11

I think I may have dated last nights post as August but it is for sure sept

Anyway. I’m going to try a lil social experiment. I’m not going to tell my friends about Rudy. I’m going to keep it 100% here. Because there’s some energy in the ether that is very poisonous and I wanna get to the root of it.

So okay. He hit me up in January like RIGHT after izier moved in with me and he was like let’s smoke sometime and I was like damn this timing is horrible cause I just got myself into a sticky ass situation but who knows maybe things will change. He said thanks for being honest and we left it at that. So then yesterday I posted a before photo of me getting ready to go bowling w Adreana and he swiped up on it and was like “damn, smoke one” and like i didn’t know if he was gonna give me shit about a Michael Jackson joke I was making on the post blah blah blah anyway so I engaged in convo and he was like “but smoke one tho, I’ve asked b444” and I was like oop 👀 so I was like fasho when and he said he’s only here on the weekends (which is like great for my schedule) so I gave him my number and told him to hit me up next weekend and he basically immediately texted me. So he’s kinda fitting my criteria rn for the type of pursuit I want. Like I get that it’s been less than 24 hours but still I mean it’s 8 months later and he’s hitting me up AGAIN with like a follow up invite to smoke like that’s cute. That’s the energy I want. So crazy too that my tarot scopes have been like “they’re watching you on social media, they have a crush on you they just don’t know where you stand or like how available you are etc etc” AND LOOK! Here he is. I thought for sure it’d be jojo lol I’m so glad it’s Rudy. Well idk if I’m actually glad yet idk him or his personality but I am attracted to him.

Regardless of how this turns out rn I feel like I’m being blessed for my obedience to my higher self like I blocked that extra number that izier was trying to contact me via, I removed Johnny from watching my shit, I muted his stories and posts, all that. I’m not pursuing not chasing not pushing not nothing like I’m just happily existing and trying to figure my own stuff out and I feel like he’s doing the same thing. Plus he like doesn’t seem like a dirtbag like he seems morally sound as far as how to treat someone. I just hope he’s nice.

I really am trying to mind my business. I feel like the next steps in that are implementing literally any kind of physical movement, and working on more art. I want to work on photo portraits with that lil camera app I have and my ring light. I need to bring my mirror in. I want to work on collages. I want to sew. I had the idea the other day to make a shirt out of my Betty boop sheets and my flame pillow case. I just gotta go get my fabric out of storage. I wish I had more space to craft. I can’t wait for my phone appt I want to get back on antidepressants I think. I need some mental space. I need some motivation. I want a schedule. I want to be able to stick to it and get my silly little tasks done. I want to learn a new language. Probably starting with Spanish. Even tho it’s not necessarily new… I want to do something besides lay in bed and avoid life. Be all up on sosh meed y’know. Like I don’t want to exist in that space as I have been anymore. It’s time for like a rebrand.

I think now, in the midst of mercury retrograde, it is the best time to step away from all that and reevaluate. I think maybe for the rest of the year I’d like to go on a hiatus. I’d like to build the other insta (the honest one) I’d like to build the YouTube (which I will be working on and posting to in October after merc goes direct). Since libra is in my 10th and it’s my mid heaven I’m likely to make a name for myself on a grand scale. This involves fame on the internet. Fame from public speaking and sharing my truth story and journey.

I had a revelation the other day that I’d like to be able to help women escape abusers. I’d like to be able to have resources, shelters, etc. A foundation for women who want to learn to love themselves outside of relationships, and esp relationships that are negative harmful or otherwise unfulfilling. I’d like to support women who need it. Women who want to help themselves and know it’s time.

That starts with me, knowing it is time now to invest in myself in all ways. Physically, mentally, creatively. I can’t do that if I’m looking to others for inspiration, validation, etc. That all needs to come from within. And it’s time.

So I’m vowing to myself. It begins today. I am now entering the timeline in which I become the best version of myself. Independent, creative, focused, determined, healthy, fulfilled.

No more without. Only within.

[ladyvesuvia]

[Navigation] [Masterlist]

@firewhiskyss: 🎢 harry with either “That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?” or “I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.” because my heart can’t handle angst rn 😋☝🏼|| for my 300 followers celebration

Pairing: Harry Potter x Fem!Muggle!Reader

Summary: Being stuck in the elevator is bad enough, but being with a stranger makes matters worse.

Words: 3.9k

Warnings: not proofread, light cursing, elevators, power outage + let me know if i missed anything

A/N: too bad u cant handle angst i could’ve found ways to sneak that into this hehe jk anywaaayy ok i felt uninspired sorry hydagjih

Harry held a bag he did not own in his hand. His shirt was a bit muddied and moist on one side, but he didn’t mind. He stood in front of the eighth door he’ll be knocking on in hopes it was the owner of the bag. It still wasn’t, though.

Instead, a woman his age greeted him with a smile. She was pretty, sure, but she wasn’t what he was looking for. He apologized for interrupting and went ahead to knock on the ninth door.

It swung open, and Harry let out a long sigh.

AN HOUR OR SO AGO

“Hold the door!” said a voice from the lobby. Harry pressed the open door button in haste, the doors doing as it was told to do. The figure rushed inside, hair dripping wet on the tiled floor of the elevator. He kept his eyes trained to floor as she moved his way to press the button to the eighth floor. “Thank you,” she mumbled.

The girl next to him began to dry her drenched hair with a purple towel, patting herself dry. Harry risked a brief glance in her direction — she was wearing a floral one-piece swimsuit which she layered with denim shorts. When she caught his eye, they both inched away from each other uncomfortably. To their relief, the elevator started to move up.

Nobody seemed to be coming in just yet. After all, it was six p.m. and most were probably outside biding their time for night swimming. Harry, on the other hand, just came down to get a box of doughnuts for Mr. Weasley, who he can only assume was changing into his swimming trunks in their hotel room. The rest were probably doing the same.

Harry was waiting for it to reach the ninth floor when the elevator lurched to a stop on the seventh. While Harry refused to meet eye contact with the girl next to him, she was busy trying to convince herself it was alright.

It’s okay, she thought to herself as she made a show of more aggressive patting of her hair in more of an attempt to calm her drumming heartbeat than to really dry it. Another passenger was probably just entering.

But she knew better, they both knew better. The lights above them began to blink in an inconsistent manner. To her dismay, the doors did not open nor did they continue to go up.

They both turned to each other with a bewildered look on their faces. Harry made to reach for his wand, but held himself back. Then the lights went out along with the tiny ones coming from the buttons. Harry froze. He heard the stranger next to him shift, probably wrapping the towel around herself. She had stopped pretending to pat herself now. Harry watched as her as she dropped her bag down on the wet tiled floor and pulled out a bulky gray block from it. Harry stood there awkwardly as if a statue while she kept on fumbling with the block thingy he now recognized was a flip phone. A light glowed from it, her face looking similar to that of a ghost.

She pressed it against her ear, but it seemed to not be working. She then raised her hand higher in hopes of getting better reception to no avail. Harry cleared his throat. The girl’s head whipped to his direction. “The emergency call button,” said Harry.

“I know,” she spat, reaching out for the buttons. But instead of clicking that particular button, she clicked the button for opening doors. Harry noticed she seemed to be shivering a bit even with the towel.

The girl was still dripping, albeit lesser now. She kept pressing the open door repetitively with her wrinkly fingers. Harry remained stiff, unsure if he should use his wand. “What floor are we currently?”

Taken aback, Harry didn’t respond for a couple of seconds until she reached out to his shoulder to check on him. “Oh, er — seventh, I think.”

He then heard her click a button he supposed was for the seventh, then a bunch of other buttons the next.

“We’re gonna die, we’re gonna die, we’re gonna die. . . .” Harry found that he preferred the constant clicking noises from the buttons over her constant reminder of their ‘impending doom.’ It was like fourth year all over again when their Divination teacher Professor Trelawney kept telling him he was going to die an early death. She kept chanting to herself in hysterics.

“Have you tried . . . the emergency call button? The one with the bell?”

“What do you think I’ve been doing?” said the girl. To his surprise, she picked up her bag again and aimed it at the elevator door before swinging it right in the middle. She then started banging her fist hard on the doors, pounding. “Help! I’m stuck! I mean, we’re stuck! Hello? I’m wi —”

“There’s a press to call thing here,” pointed Harry.

“Good,” she remarked as she practically run to it when the elevator made a creaking noise from above. The girl let out a shriek as she fell backwards and pulled Harry down with her. “Lie flat or we’re both gonna die!”

“Why — ?”

“JUST DO IT.” He did. Both of them sprawled their legs and he felt the damp floor wet his back a bit, but he was still weighing the pros and cons of pulling out his wand. Of course, if it were up to him, he’d pull it out in a heartbeat but the Weasleys’ vacation was on the line and he couldn’t jeopardize that by—

The elevator whined, and it felt as if it was moving a bit. “We’re gonna plummet to do our death!”

“Calm down,” said Harry, hardly knowing why he even bothered in the first place because he didn’t know what to say next especially with the girl’s expectant eyes on him. He thought of what Hermione had told them when they first came here, who then attempted to calm the others down about their feelings on Muggle Elevators. “Er — elevators are one of the safest ways of transportation with only the fatality rate of zero point zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-something-fifteen percent per trip.”

“Oh, shut up, stranger,” cried the girl. “There’s still a fifteen in that end. We’re gonna die, accept that!”

“You seem to be the one having troubles accepting that,” argued Harry back. She shot him a glare.

“I haven’t written my will and we’re gonna die. You see — you hear that rumble? We’re slowly falling down and we’re gonna die. I should have — should have taken the stairs. Please, please, please let me live! I swear I’ll start eating vegetables! This is it stranger, we’re gonna die.”

“That’s a bit melodramatic, don’t you think?”

“We’re about to die and you have time to think? Lie with your chunkiest bits on the floor to increase our chance of survival.”

He wanted to argue, but he resorted to inching further away from her and stretching his limbs awkwardly.

“Damn it, you shouldn’t have kept the door open!”

“How is that my fault? If anything, I was being nice,” said Harry.

“Being nice? You just sentenced me to my death and now I’m dying in this cramped space in a swimsuit and shorts that aren’t even for swimming!”

Surprisingly, the elevator whined to a stop. They remained on the floor for half a minute. Eventually, she was the first to stand up. Dusting herself and not meeting Harry’s eye, she smashed the bell button with her finger. It buzzed for a few seconds before a guy’s voice answered.

“Hello,” said the operator. The intercom seemed to be having troubles.

“Uh, hello, hi,” replied the girl.

“So are you currently stuck in the elevator?” Harry could hear the girl turn to him in the dark and call up the look of utter disbelief, as if wanting to reply, ‘No shit.’

“Yes, very much.”

“Okay, are you alone?” asked the operator.

“Unfortunately, no. I’m with . . .” she trailed off, turning to Harry with prolonged contemplation. “With stranger. I’m with stranger. A stranger. With a stranger, I mean.”

“May I know your names please?”

“Uh, sure? I’m . . . Papier Matchen and this is —”

“Har — Neville. Neville Longbottom, sir,” answered Harry. The operator did not respond. “Neville Longbottom.”

“Are you both guests?” asked the operator.

“Yes,” said [Y/N]. “Wait, are you a guest?”

“I am a guest,” said Harry stiffly.

“He’s a guest,” she added, as if in an attempt to keep whatever morale is left high. The operator didn’t respond again. “Hey, uh, operator? It would really help if you didn’t keep disappearing on us.” She chuckled nervously.

“What floor are you currently on?” said the voice with a bit more static.

“Uh, well,” she said, turning to Harry, “last time we checked, it was on the seventh but it moved down a bit and we might be in-between floors seven and six.”

“Alright, thank you. We’re currently experiencing a city wide power outage, and it appears that the back-up battery in Elevator Three has not yet been replaced since the last brownout. We apologize for the inconvenience.”

“Yeah, you should be sorry. So, uh, is any of your authorities gonna come and pick us up?”

No response. She pressed the button again. And again. And again. No sound came, not even static. “Hello? Hi?”

When no one responded again, she slumped to the floor once more, her hair still wet but no longer dripping. “Sit down,” she said, pointing at the spot right next to her. Harry obliged. “You can sit across, I don’t care. I know I smell like chlorine right now.”

Harry sat across from her, leaning back against the wall. She didn’t talk either. This went on for about five minutes until Harry had the urge to do something or at least say something.

“I’m afraid I’ve been thinking,” he started.

“A dangerous pastime, you should be afraid. Go ahead,” she said, gesturing a finger gun his way.

“Shouldn’t we try to get out of this?”

“Who are you, Bruce Willis? Need I remind you that you are Nev . . . Bottom?”

“That’s not actually my name,” said Harry.

“Same, I just said Papier Matchen off the top of my head. Like papier mache but witchy. My name’s actually pretty good, I think. I’m [Y/N] [Y/L/N]. Oh, wait, nope, don’t like it.”

“I think it’s good.” [Y/N] turned on her phone and shone it around until it landed on his face. Harry realized he had kept the box of doughnuts in the corner when she made them sit down. “I’m Harry,” he said when she finally turned off the phone.

[Y/N] turned it on again and directed it to the box of doughnuts. “Are those doughnuts to make us super tiny like Alice in Wonderland or something?”

“Oh, those are for my friend’s father.”

“Let’s eat it, I’m hungry,” said [Y/N].

“It’s for my friend’s father.”

“You have to realize that that is so not a good enough point. We’re trapped in an elevator with no means of communication with that musty man and eating that is the only thing we can do. Unless you want to do something else?”

“Er — What?” choked Harry, clearing his throat. “Okay, fine, uh, doughnuts.”

She made a triumphant sound Harry couldn’t explain, but paid it no mind as she reached out to grab the box of doughnuts from the corner. She set it in front of her.

“Hey, these are from my aunt’s bakery.”

“They are?” asked Harry.

“Yeah! The one across the street from here?” asked [Y/N], to which Harry nodded. “Ooh, you got the one with Oreos? Nice! I helped design those.”

“Okay, uh, can I have some?”

“I thought it was against your will to take some of these from your ’friend’s dad?’” teased [Y/N], but she handed him a doughnut anyway. Harry began to eat just like she did. “Sorry I forced you to lie down here. . . .”

She looked at him, waiting for something. What? Harry furrowed his brows, confused.

“Sorry, I mean, what’s your name again?” asked [Y/N], hints of the chocolate stuck between her teeth and some on her lips.

“Harry Potter,” replied Harry, who debated against himself whether or not he should point it out. After all, she seemed to be having a good time and they just started to lose the tension. “You’ve got uh, something on your, you know.”

“I know,” said [Y/N], but she didn’t do anything about it. “Anyway, can you believe six and seven are lucky numbers yet here we are, stuck in the wretched elevator between them?”

“No, that’s why I don’t really believe in those . . . things.”

“I’d say that’s insulting, but I’m dripping in my swimwear while I’m stuck in the elevator with a total stranger, so fair enough.”

Harry didn’t know how long they were talking, but it just went on. He was pretty sure there were times he even laughed. Harry reached out to grab another doughnut when he realized she was holding it as well. They both let it drop back to the box.

“Oh, no, it’s yours,” said [Y/N].

“It’s okay, you can have it,” said Harry.

“I ate more than you did, you can have it. Just go,” said [Y/N].

“You can —”

“You know what? Let’s just split it.”

[Y/N] ripped it in half, handing him the bigger slice. Just when Harry was going to offer to exchange, she swallowed it whole.

“Too late, I ate my half already.”

“I can see that,” said Harry. He began to eat his own half, savoring it with three more bites.

“Sorry I smell like chlorine again.”

“Eh, I don’t know, it’s kind of growing on me,” said Harry. “I shouldn’t have said that, sorry.”

“On a good day, that would sound like an insult but it’s anything but a good day, so, thank you, I guess.”

The two shared a laugh (and most definitely three) the entire time when the lights turned on. They could see each other clearly now. There was no denying they felt quite vulnerable — like finally meeting an friend you only send letters and emails to for the first time, but she smiled to make it feel lighter.

Suddenly, it started to move up again, [Y/N] kept them seated just in case it started plummeting again. It didn’t, though. It opened on the seventh, as the indicator told them so.

The intercom buzzed once more and different operator spoke. None of them stood up.

“Hi, power’s slowly being restored. How’s everyone?”

“We’re good,” said Harry. [Y/N] smiled in the shadows, tossing the towel in the corner. “Wait, you’re — er — good, right?”

“Yeah, surprisingly so,” she said.

“Good to hear, we’re currently doing the best we can to cater everyone’s needs. Has your, uh, elevator moved yet? Sorry, I’m new here. Anyway, has it?” asked the operator.

“Currently open on the seventh floor, but we’re both going up, all’s good now, don’t worry,” answered [Y/N]. She stood up, taking the towel with her.

“Okay, great, thank you and take care!” said the operator before the intercom buzzed off. Harry and [Y/N] stood there as the elevator door closed shut and began to move up and open again to the eighth.

“So,” started [Y/N], “this is me. My floor, I mean.”

“Right,” said Harry

“Well, I still don’t like elevators and I may or may not ride one ever again so I can’t believe I’d ever say this because it’s hella cheesy but thanks for making it bearable.”

“I feel like I should say, ‘you’re welcome?’” said Harry.

“Oh yeah, you should.”

The door began to close, but Harry pressed the open door button.

“Okay, you’re welcome.” The two shared lighthearted laughter. “Anyway, er — thank you, too. See you around?”

“Yeah, yeah, see you around. Bye.” [Y/N] waved as the doors closed between them and Harry was once again all alone in the elevator.

He noticed what a mess the floor was, and went to pick up the empty box of donuts. His hand went to where he kept his wand to clean up and looked around for cameras and found one tucked in the upper corner. Harry let his hand down and dusted his shirt with his hands when something caught his eye. A beach bag in the corner, resting carelessly.

The door finally opened to the ninth floor. Harry was frozen, looking directly at a long hallway of doors. It took a few seconds until it whirred and shut close. Not knowing what to do, Harry picked up the bag and swung it over his shoulder.

He tapped his foot as he waited for the elevator to go up to the twelfth floor until it began going down again. He pressed the button to the ninth floor again.

Ten.

Eleven. A couple his age entered, probably about to go down. Narrowed eyes landed on him and his dirty shirt and pants, but he paid them no mind.

Twelve. The couple started to talk about their plans on the honeymoon tomorrow. Harry busied himself by playing with the straps of the beach bag. He realized just now it had her name inside one of the straps lazily written with a sharpie. [Y/N], it stated.

Eleven again.

Ten again.

Nine again. The door opened, but he did not step out. Of course, the couple began to eye him with suspicion now as he reached out to press the button to the eighth floor.

Eight. When he stepped out, he heard the hushed but relieved sighs from both of the other two behind him as the elevator proceeded to close shut and go down.

Harry knocked on the first door. A man in his pajamas answered. Harry muttered an apology as he walked away to try the second door. He heard the first door swing shut.

The second door was equipped with a sign on the doorknob saying, ‘Do not Disturb.’ So, of course, Harry moved on to the third. He heard loud sounds of children playing inside. When he knocked, a tired woman carrying a toddler in her arms answered. Harry apologized once more and moved on.

Harry’s shoulder was aching, so he let the bag down and simply held it in his hands.

The fourth door was answered by a middle-aged man holding a glass of wine.

The fifth door’s knob held the same message as the the second — ‘Do not Disturb.’

As you may recall, Harry held a bag he did not own in his hand. His shirt was a bit muddied and moist on one side, but he didn’t mind. He stood in front of the eighth door he’ll be knocking on in hopes it was the owner of the bag. It still wasn’t, though.

Instead, a woman his age greeted him with a smile. She was pretty, sure, but she wasn’t what he was looking for. He apologized for interrupting and went ahead to knock on the ninth door.

It swung open, and Harry let out a long sigh.

An older woman greeted him with a pleasant smile. “Hello, dear,” she said. He took a shot and asked if she knew anyone by the name of [Y/N] [Y/L/N]. Unfortunately though, she did not.

Harry finally made it to the last door. He knocked once more, holding the bag tighter now. A little kid answered, with her parents and siblings in the background, eating pancakes. They did not know of someone named [Y/N] [Y/L/N], either.

Shoulders slumping, Harry made his way back to the elevator. He pressed the up button.

“Excuse me?” called out a voice from behind him. His heart skipped a beat. Wait, don’t skip, he thought to himself.

It still wasn’t her. It was the same girl from the ninth door. “Yes?”

“You’re looking for [Y/N]?” she asked. “[Y/N] [Y/L/N]?”

“Er — yes. Do you know her?” asked Harry.

“Yeah, she’s in the shower. Is that her bag?”

“Oh!” He almost forgot that he was holding it. “Yes, yes it is.”

“I can give it to her,” called out the woman. She closed the door behind her, making her way towards him. When she was close enough, she extended her hand.

The elevator dinged open. Harry was about to hand it over to her, when he decided something else.

“Er — no, uh, I was actually hoping if I could see her.”

She let her hand down, grinning. “You must be Elevadork.”

“Oh, yeah, it’s an inside joke,” said Harry.

“You can wait inside,” said the girl. “I’m Karolina, by the way. She’s just showering because she’s, and I quote, ‘will be too unlovable if smelling like chlorine.’”

Harry chuckled as Karolina led him to their hotel room. It was just like every other room he had seen, then he saw the same towel she had with her just a while ago when they were stuck with only each other’s company.

“He was nice, though. I wouldn’t mind seeing him again. By the way, we’re out of hair conditioner. My hair badly nee — Harry!” [Y/N] tumbled backwards to the bathroom with a different towel wrapped around herself. Harry’s eyes widened, and he turned around.

“He wanted to return your bag and ask you out,” said Karolina.

“That’s not what I actually said,” whispered Harry, turning crimson.

“Honey, trust me, it was definitely what you said,” laughed Karolina, patting him in the back. “You might want to change first.”

“I guess,” added Harry.

[Y/N] rushed to the get her clothes from one of the two beds and ran back to the shower, where she hastily pulled on her shirt and checkered pajama pants.

“She’s done changing, by the way,” said Karolina, patting Harry on the shoulder again as she left to pour iced tea for herself.

[Y/N] led Harry out, earning two thumbs up from Karolina, who was beaming up at the two of them. “How’d you find me?”

“Fate,” said Harry mockingly, as if from a show. She giggled. “I knocked on all the doors in this hallway.”

“To return a bag?”

“Sure, that, too. But mainly to ask if you’d like to get some — er — doughnuts with, uh, me. I really want to bring some up to —”

���Your friend’s dad, right,” [Y/N] cut out. “Are we still taking the elevator?”

“Yeah,” said Harry.

They finally reached the elevator, where they stood side by side.

“Aren’t you going to change first?” asked [Y/N].

“Nope,” said Harry, pressing the down button. He turned to [Y/N], looking at her shirt. “Does that say ‘Treacle Treat?’”

“Yeah, like as in Trick or Treat. See the pumpkin?” She pointed at the bottom part of her shirt.

“Oh, there it is.” The two were laughing even when they stepped into the elevator. They exchanged a knowing glance at the sight of scattered crumbs of doughnuts on the floor, not daring to talk about it in front of one another guest.

As the elevator began to go down, Harry realized he might as well believe in the lucky numbers. After all, if it weren’t for six, seven, and nine, he wouldn’t be here right now standing shoulder up to shoulder with the girl wearing a funky shirt.

Taglist: @gingerale2017 @maybanksslut @hey-there-angels @mrzweasley @gwlvr @booksarealwaysbettersworlds-blog @greenlyblue @henqtic @meiitanoia @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts

#harry potter #harry james potter #harry potter x reader #harry potter x reader fluff #harry james potter x reader fluff #harry potter x fem!reader fluff #harry potter x fem!muggle!reader #harry potter fanfictions #harry potter fic #harry x reader #harry potter imagines #harry potter x y/n #ves.writes #ves.writes harry potter

[starlightshore]

barring the no mercy route being an influence in this case, how would you describe chara's personality? I cannot describe them well at all despite them being my favorite character. they're too complex lol. all of the meta i can find at this time as them described at both extremes of innocent & evil but i don't think that's accurate

TW: discussions of canon dark topics such as abuse , death and suicide

i love talking about chara, i've talked about them at length before lmao. thank u for giving me a chance to talk about my beloved child.

you can actually read a character exploration i'm doing in a mini-arc for Askfallenroyalty. actually, if you want one condensed post, this comic sums up chara's motives

My interpretation:

chara is an abused kid and suicidal kid*(1) who ran to mount ebott to die.*(2) upon learning that monsters are made of love and humans aren't*(3), chara began to hate humanity. the deltarune prophecy*(4) makes them to be The Angel despite being a human. Feeling undeserving of this title and obligated to fulfill it, Chara wanted to be a good kid more than anything.

But then the buttercup pie incident happened. They've accidentally*(5) poisoned asgore and came up with a plan to ensure the prophecy could be fulfilled and take a hit against humanity. Two birds with one stone -who cares if it's also a personal win too? then obviously the plan goes up in flames and they and asriel are murdered. then asgore wants to kill of all humanity.

your influence*(6) gets Chara onto a path of redemption or a path of destruction, mirroring the deltarune prophecy's two main interpretations.*(7)

in summery: chara is a scared kid trying to fit into a world that demands violence by the past actions of the previous generations. The war massacred monsters and locked them up with a kill-solution -ensuring that further violence would be needed to be free, thus continuing the cycle of violence.

chara is just a kid. they knit, they make macaroni art, they loved their family and had a best friend forever.* (8) but they're also vengeful, they cared so deeply for monsterkind they were ready to die and had no idea they'd be awake as a soul, they were prepared for death. they're complicated, you can't have one side without the other. while i’ve never wanted to murder anyone, i can still relate deeply to chara and see myself in them a lot. the tragedy of them -the fact they never really got a “happy ending” like everyone else just haunts me and it’s why I spend so much time making AFR. I just... love this character so much, i want this kid to be happy. (not that it could ever be easy to get there, happy endings aren’t free.)

And frankly, seeing this hurt kid get demonized just rubs me the wrong way, and it feels completely against the morals Undertale tries to tell with it’s story. I see it as a cautionary tale against violence and dehumanizing others for the sake of hate and violence. how kids can be influenced by the violence -or kindness around them. you don’t need to forgive the ones who hurt you, but killing them is not always the solution -though sometimes necessary as framed in the Undyne the Undying fight.

People get both Undertale’s themes and chara wrong the most, and for the game that’s meant the world to me it bothers me more than it should lol. It’s a Good Story, and I don’t mean to frame my interpretation of the character or themes as 100% canon and I know Mr.Fox’s brain to confirm it kinda deal, but with all the time I’ve spent analyzing and thinking it over I do think it’s not off in the general direction of it lol. And besides the author’s intent isn’t really the end-all-to-be-all. It’s what you get out of the story and the themes that matter and stick with you. No one can take that away from you.

Sources and evidence:

"* If you're cuter, monsters won't hit you as hard." -faded ribbion flavor text * "The ends of the tools have been filed down to make them safer." -gardening tools in New Home (and iirc Toriel's home as well, too lazy to double check rn) * Where are the knives. -no mercy chara (this and paired with the previous imply there are no sharp objects in reach of chara's home because chara can't be trusted with sharp objects out of self harm. This doesn't necessarily mean abuse but paired with them hating humanity so deeply, being suicidal and a child it paints a picture of abuse.

"* I know why (chara) climbed the mountain.* It wasn't for a very happy reason." -asriel post pacifist epilogue dialogue

"* Love, hope, compassion... * This is what people say monster SOULs are made of. * But the absolute nature of "SOUL" is unknown. * After all, humans have proven their SOULs don't need these things to exist." -Library book on monster souls)

* Legend has it, an 'angel' who has seen the surface will descend from above and bring us freedom. - gerson

"* It takes at least a human soul... * And a monster soul. * ...* If you want to go home... * You'll have to take his soul. * You'll have to kill ASGORE." -Alphys. Because boss monster souls are the exception and can persist after death for a short period of time, Chara could of killed any of the family members to escape the underground. this implies escaping wasn't the goal -it was to die (considering they already attempted suicide to fall underground the first time, this is explicitly suicide.) the plaque doesn't mention or speak like monster/human fusion's consumed soul would be aware. chara had no way of knowing they'd be awake. also the whole thing with the pie is a prank. cups of butter. -> buttercups. putting flowers in a pie is a joke to do, we see Chara is similar to Toriel (they mimic her speech in the no mercy monologue, they say “greetings” as she does like how Asriel says “howdy” like Flowey does. Chara makes puns and jokes in the flavor text all the time.

https://imgur.com/a/zP18P -dog food bag at different LV. "When the protagonist first encounters Mad Dummy, they are given the option to beat it up. Choosing to beat it up prompts one of three responses depending on the protagonist's LOVE." (source: undertale wiki)

If the protagonist’s LV is 1, the response becomes "(You tap the dummy with your fist.) (You feel bad.)"

If the protagonist's LV is between 2 and 4, the response becomes "(You hit the dummy lightly.) (You don't feel like you learned anything.)"

If the protagonist’s LV is between 5 and 7, the response becomes "(You sock the dummy.) (Who cares?)"

If the protagonist’s LV is 8 or higher, the response becomes "(You punch the dummy at full force.) (Feels good.)"" This implies Chara (who is the narrator) will feel different about the dog food -which references the classic phrase of "glass half empty/full" showing your out look in life. Then hitting the dummy show's Frisk's out look on violence depending on LV. Note that by the end of it, it's no longer "you feel..." but "feels good" This is Chara.

      7. “* Lately, the people have been  taking a bleaker outlook...* Callin' that winged circle the  'Angel of Death.' “ -gerson “* Only the fearless may proceed. * Brave ones, foolish ones. * Both walk not the middle road. “ -the first plaque in the first puzzle room with Toriel. The idea is to walk on both the left and right sides -you can’t go half way in the middle. this mirrors the “true” endings are only accomplished if you stick to no mercy or pacifist only.

     8. literally their home in New Home is a treasure trove of pre-game chara characterization.

#personal stuff #ut tag #character analysis #chara analysis #ask to tag #i put the warnings up top tho

[dolliedarlin]

i m p l i c i t  ⏤katsuki b.

p a i r i n g : bakugou x f.reader 

s u m m a r y : ever since you were young, you were forced to meet with the person dubbed as your finance, Katsuki Bakugou, a Baron’s son who had quite the temper but peaks your interest in every way possible 

l e n g t h : 1.9k

g e n r e : olden days au ; fantasy au ; arranged marriage au ; Bakugou is a tsundere ; and we love him for it ; reader is an amazing bean that can keep up with him ; kirishima is your brother ; best brother ever ; rumours are toxic ; never base your opinions on someone solely on rumours ; you attract a stalker ; it’s not your fault ; he just as a twisted yandere mind ; Katsuki is your hero ; he makes your heart flutter ; and he makes your knees weak ; i really want someone to protect me and say what he said at the end of this 

w a r n i n g s : swearing from our lovable explosion murder king ; acts of stalker/yandere ; sword fighting

a / n : i didn’t plan on posting this but mother nature decided to pay me a visit today so i basically lazed around in my bed groaning in pain and half starving bc it was too painful to get out at times for food. instead i started writing this imagine again that i had began months ago. this is inspired by Ranma 1/2, which is an anime that i loved watching when i was much younger, it’s not well edited because i’m kinda dizzy rn but i hope you enjoy it! 

— first of all, before either you or Katsuki were born, the arrangement for your marriage to each other was already settled by your parents, hence why you were immediately introduced when you were children 

— neither of you knew what marriage or engagement meant but you both associated it with seeing each other

— it wasn’t something Katsuki liked but you didn’t quite mind it, he always gave you really interesting reactions that you quickly came to like

— as the two of you grew up together, you always tried your best to get close to him but Katsuki was adamant at pushing you away and keeping you at arms length at all times

— despite all that, you wanted to catch his attention, which meant that you took interest in all the things that he found interesting too. that included: sword fighting, horse riding, duelling ; spicy foods ; battle tactics ; magic etc 

— Katsuki always tried to ignore you but secretly appreciated how skilled you had become over the years. you were still nothing compared to him but you were able to battle against a majority of qualified knights and still be the last one standing

— he only scoffed at you because your talents were wasted; you’re too kindhearted to ever use your honed skills properly - it irritates him that other women push you to conform to etiquette, tea parties and high society when you were better than that

— you’re better than shallow conversations about the latest fashion, or the art of sipping tea, calligraphy and painting because he knows how much you train and how much effort you put into your education outside of such insignificant things

— Katsuki knows that you can handle yourself better than any other nobleman he knows of, he’s seen you help your father with his business and vigorously train with your dukedom’s knights

— what’s the point of all that effort if you weren’t going to show anything for it?

— because of that Katsuki always acted like he hated having you as his fiancée despite your optimism about him, as well as your patience and understanding of his unique way of expressing himself

— because the two of you are forced to spend a lot of time together by your parents, you’ve has been able to understand Katsuki and his mannerisms better than anyone else as your mother has always taught you to be openminded - she’s never been like the other noble ladies of society, hence why your father married her

— now, you were following in her footsteps. there’s been much gossip about your unladylike behaviour but you didn’t care, all you needed were your parents’ love and the love of Katsuki. he still needed some more time to come around but you’re positive you’ll get to him soon enough

— you’re positive there’s a different gleam in his eyes whenever he looks towards you now. it had always been one of hatred when you were much younger but his expressions frequently soften around you nowadays. 

— no matter how subtle it may be, you always notice

— many rumours circulated about you the first time you had shown your skills openly amongst the knighthood. it had first started with your knights who praised you highly but, as soon as those whisperings reached outside the dukedom, many noble ladies started to gossip about your misdemeanour. 

— surprisingly, those rumours were shut down in under a week and you didn’t know why; usually such good gossip material stayed for months and only faded with the years so it was peculiar to have it die down so quickly 

— what was suspicious was that, as soon as your rumours died down, stories about Katsuki surged forward.

— when you conversed with other people, they would say how horrible they feel for you having to marry such an aggressive and dislikable fiancee. they would then over-exaggerate all the belligerent and misunderstood characteristics of Bakugou, even making up disgusting rumours that painted him to be more villainous than he actually was.

— “how shameful,” you spat with disgust, glowering down at the noble ladies frozen in their seats, “how dare you openly gossip about my fiancee right in front of me, the nerve! you should know better than to act like such children. if you have nothing better to do then i suggest you leave the kirishima estate immediately and never expect to be invited back,” 

— they tried to beg you for forgiveness, seeing as your father held such power in high society, being one of the four noble dukes of the kingdom serving directly under the king as they all had noble blood. 

— nobody expected your father to marry you to a Baron’s son. Katsuki didn’t have a higher title than you but your fathers had gone to war together and remained loyal friends ever since, Baron Bakugou went on to acquire his title of Braon after his service in the war but many people still looked down on him from his commoner origins. to think that such educated ladies of high society would use that as leverage to gossip however they wished. 

— word of your actions on behalf of Bakugou spread quickly and the two of you became a couple that shouldn’t be trifled with.   

— after that day, you always defend Katsuki and never miss the opportunity to express how much you admire him and care for him even if he doesn’t tend to reciprocate it

— you do this when Katsuki’s friends make an appearance, they consisted of your brother, Eijiro, Denki of house Kaminari (son of Marquis Kaminari) and Hanta of house Sero (son of Marquis Sero). 

— they usually don’t visit the estate but this time they decided to utilise the knights training grounds for extra duelling practice and happened to catch you just as you were walking out, having finished your own training

— as soon as introductions and polite greetings were exchanged, came the jokes and jives.

— “I wouldn’t blame you if you eloped with someone else on your wedding day, Lady (Y/N), knowing this guy’s attitude,” Denki snickers as he points his thumb at your fiancé, who growled lowly in return.

— “i wouldn’t dare do something like that because, even if this is an arranged marriage, Katsuki will be the only man for me” Katsuki didn’t expect you to be so forward and couldn’t help the blush that coated his cheeks from your response 

— Denki whistled in a mix of astonishment and amusement, “Katsuki’s a lucky guy!” 

— “he looks really happy to hear you say that too, sis,” Eijiro teased as Hanta grinned from beside him. 

— “shut up! we came here to train so let's train already, you dumbasses!”

— the days go by and life is good; the quicker your wedding day approaches the kinder and gentler Katsuki treats you. it wasn’t until the kindness you practiced with everyone you met, no matter their status, became something more in the twisted mind of an unknown individual that you encountered within city streets, while out shopping

— one act of kindness made the stranger crave for your touch and sought you out in the most deviant method. he sent constant letters multiple times a day and even mailed one with his most intimate item of clothing, not only that but he always stood at the gates of your estate, waiting for it to be opened just to slip in and try to meet you again

— of course, he didn’t get far because of the security brought on by your dukedom’s talented knights stopped him at every devious attempt. each incident was reported directly to your brother, who was training to inherit the duchy as soon as your father retired

— Eijiro was having none of it and devised the best plan of action he could, knowing that his image as the heir of the dukedom needed to be thought of so that his people wouldn’t be against him when he took over his capable father’s place. he resisted the urge for an immediate confrontation to plan with you, about how you wanted to defuse the situation 

— however, as soon as word got to Bakugou, he ran over on foot to confront the man at your estate, just as Eijiro came down with a squadron of knights and you at his side

— lost in his own world, your stalker immediately reached out for you the instant he caught sight of your figure. on his face, he had a twisted smile and manic eyes, his breathing became heavy as if to savour the same air you breathed not too far away from him. it was frighting and chilling to see such an unhinged man. he was so deranged, he didn’t mind the swords and pointed glares directed at him by all that were present and Katsuki, who was fast approaching from behind

— “Get. Away. From. Her!” Katsuki shouted in anger as he drew his sword and slashed at the young man, making you jump back with a gasp.

— “Bakugou!” Kirishima warned as he pulled you into his chest for protection from the clashing of swords

— “Katsuki, be careful!” you cried. confronting someone with such an unstable mind could go horribly wrong and no matter how skilled your fiancee was, you couldn’t help but worry

— Even though this was the first time Katsuki ever showed his feelings for you in such a dramatic gesture, the worry you had for him consumed your joy as his opponent drew out his own sword and started lashing out with worse coordination than your junior knights. 

— what he lacked with technique, however, he made up for in agility as well as his own unpredictability. it made it hard for Katsuki to predict the path of his opponent’s sword so for a time, he was constantly dodging his blade. it didn’t take long, however, for the game of endurance and stamina to come into play and slow down his opponent enough for him to fight back with more accuracy.

— “you revolting rat!” Katsuki growled swinging his sword with might only to grind his teeth when his sword is narrowly dodged. not one to give up, however, he goes in once again and finally lands a hit that forces your stalker to crumble to his knees, “you try and pull that shit with (Y/N) again and I’ll be doing more than just beating you to the ground,” it was an obvious win for the blonde. 

— “And what would that be?” your stalker still had fight in him that came off as more irritating than anything else Bakugou had ever encountered in his life of servitude as a royal knight and baron’s son.

— just to prove his point, whatever it may be, Katsuki goes to stand beside you and pull you into his chest with his large hand at your waist   

— “landing your ugly, disgusting ass in a fucking coffin!” the venom in his voice was evident and it made you shudder, curling up into his chest for comfort, not knowing that the next words he’d shout would have your knees weaker than any training could ever do, “(Y/N) is MY Fiancee! you touch her and I’ll kill you!”

n a v i . | bnha mlist 

#bakugou x reader #bakugou imagine #bakugou fluff #bnha bakugou #bnha olden days au #bnha fantasy au

[honey-hippie-harper]

Infrangible

AFGHSAGHJS THIS IS SO LATE IS NOT EVEN FUNNY ANYMORE LMAO

In my defense, I stopped being a person long ago and now, in all the ways except physical, I happen to be a potato. BUT ANYWAY :’) This is for the Renegades Ship Week hosted by @greasicookies <3 (Thanks again!), for day 5, which is Maxpie. The prompt is “secrets”! <3

I had a tough time writing this because I’m going through a lot of stuff rn :’) still, I hope you can enjoy it x’ddd.

Tag list: @healing-winston-pratt @obsidianfr3sk @the-wee-woo-rita and afsghagshja @all-weather-is-bad (because this is a very...me fic lol and I think you’re already used to my sad attempt at humor haahahaah i’M SORRY AGSHJAKL) AND @lackadae because agshjs I made a reference to one of your drawings, hon :’) (I promise once again, to catch up with your content once I feel better afsghjak).

And that’s it. I hope you like it <3

When Max turned nine, he reached the conclusion that everybody forgot their early years at some point. Before, Adrian had already explained to him that wasn’t quite true, because he misunderstood Max’s statement and thought he was feeling bad about himself for not being able to recall certain things. He told him that, unlike what he thought –which was false because that’s not what Max meant- people usually couldn’t store those memories from when they were younger than three.

“Some people do.” He said. “But it’s normal if you don’t remember anything from when you were…I don’t know. Two.”

“Do you remember anything from when you were two?” Max asked him.

From the other side of the glass, Adrian scrunched up his nose. And then, obviously, he saw himself in the need to adjust his glasses.

“I’m not quite sure whether I was two or not. But I do know I was younger than five.” He started. “There was a small canal on the way to the apartment. When it rained, it would grow a lot. It didn’t have big torrents or anything, but it did grow a lot. The water usually went higher than my ankles. But the thing was…that every time  it grew, it became infested with turtles.”

He paused for a second.

“I really liked turtles.” He continued, shrugging. “My mother used to let me walk down to the water, as long as she was right behind me, obviously; one day, when we were coming back from the city, she stopped to attend a call. I got too impatient and went down alone when she wasn’t looking. The next thing I remember is that, just when I was getting up after catching a turtle, I felt her tugging me by the back of my shirt. The turtle fell on its shell.”

At that point, Max realized he had been staring at how he kept on fidgeting with his pen instead of looking him in the eye, but he continued doing so, because he didn’t like it when Adrian’s voice turned that serious.

“…She had never screamed at me like that.” He said, as if he were talking to himself and then, to erase the tension, he tried to scoff. “I don’t remember what she said, but I remember that she said it so loud I told her she was scaring the turtle. Then I started crying. Like, a lot. I think she was terrified too.”

In the end, everything turned too quiet for his liking, and Max did something his dad had advised him to do for times like these, when he just didn’t know what came next: Improvise.

“I didn’t know you liked turtles.”

“…Well, I did. I really liked turtles when I was younger.”

Max had seen a couple of turtles in his life, but not as many as Adrian had seen, he supposed, because Max had never stepped outside, except when he was a baby.

Which was exactly the point.

He didn’t have memories from when he was a baby, or a toddler. Most of the people who had come to talk to him had said they remembered events that were either too sad (like Adrian) or meaningful in their lives. Max didn’t have anything like that. In fact, his first –very blurry- memory was standing on the edge of the quarantine, with his hands pressed against the crystal, and then licking it.

According to his dads, he was between three and four (“He was three, Simon. What are you talking about?” “He was born in November.” “It wasn’t November yet.” “We had just celebrated his birthday. He was four.” “HE WASN’T FOUR, SIMON! HE WAS THREE! THREE! We were celebrating that his quarantine had just been built!” “IT WAS THE SAME EVENT, HUGH!”) and Aunt Tamaya, plus the both of them, were in the hallway. For some reason, the fact that his eyes were so huge (they were still big. But they were bigger when he was a baby) came off as odd to Tamaya. And the moment they made eye contact, he licked the glass.

Nobody knew why. Not even himself. The adults remembered it better than he did, of course, but none of them had ever been able to guess the reasoning behind it. They often expressed Max had been a very strange baby, mostly because of his lack of social skills. It’s not like he had chosen that, and it’s not like his fathers would’ve allowed it to happen if they had had any other option. But Max wasn’t willing to stand there and pretend that he knew what he was doing, either.

Most of the time, he didn’t.

He barely held any memories of the nurses that had ever been in charge of his care, but, for obvious reasons, he remembered Dad. It was always easier to remember the person who had taken care of you the most, he supposed. And Max knew, among a lot of things, that it wasn’t his other dad’s fault. Though, sometimes, he couldn’t help but blame him.

Again, he didn’t know why, but there were those days, when he needed he the most, where a voice inside of his head told him that, if Simon loved him enough, he would just sacrifice his powers to be with him. His powers weren’t that useful for combat anyway.

“Okay, but that’s kinda mean.” Adrian told him the first time he opened up about it, the night before he attended the Trials to choose the members of his patrolling team. “Pops might not have combat powers, but they’re as important as the rest of the members’. That’s why they work so well as a team, you know? Every power can be extremely helpful during a battle, as long as you know how to use it.”

Max wasn’t doing anything in particular that day. Nothing besides listening to Adrian and sitting on the floor , at least.

“But if every power is useful…” He said, tilting his head to the side. “…Why are you allowed to reject certain aspirants?”

Adrian frowned a little, not in the sense that he looked angry at Max. Rather, he was confused by the question and was trying to word the answer in a way that sounded rational.

“Because…” He gulped and clicked his tongue. “…Like I said…uhm…the Council is an extremely good team. They’ve been doing this for a while. Us, the patrolling leaders are…allowed to reject certain prodigies because we don’t have as much experience as them. And…we might not know how to use somebody’s powers, and that’s very dangerous. We don’t want people dying, do we?”

When he said that, something clicked inside Max’s brain, and he nodded in automatic. Obviously, a few years ago, a non-prodigy teacher had taught him how to read, and the moment Adrian notified him it was his year to be in the Trials, he managed to read the manual and the rules for the event, from a booklet and a pamphlet (respectively) he had asked his dad to bring for him. He didn’t get much new information, different from the one he heard on TV or the one presented in the posters. However, amongst the rules, there was a section that talked about banned powers, which contained only two categories:

-Complete telekinesis.

-Stardust modelling.

“Yeah.” Dad told him. He was bathing him in the quarantine’s bathroom (Of course. Where else?). “Stardust catchers…which….are able to model stardust, are extremely dangerous and there’s not much research about them. Nobody really knows how they work, and it would be pretty difficult for us to… handle a prodigy like that.”

“Like me.”

Dad had always had a pretty specific routine he had to follow when bathing him. If he missed or misplaced a step, he acted like would explode or something. Also, Max didn’t understand why, but ever since he started growing thicker hair, Dad became pretty strict on the fact they should take care of it so it would grow healthy. Hence why they had a full hair routine that they did in the bathtub. That day, the statement caught him so off-guard he grabbed the wrong bottle, and then, when he realized it, he was already pouring the dense liquid (that looked more like a paste to him) on Max’s head. Cursing under his breath, he placed his other hand in the middle so it would fall over his palm, washed Max’s head and started the routine all over again, before changing the subject:

“About complete telekinesis…there’s obviously a lot of research about that power. We know how to manage with that. But telekinetic prodigies are not …very accepted in our society. They’re pointed at…Frowned upon. In the worst of cases, other prodigies hunt them down and then kill them.”

In that moment, Max came to the conclusion that all that changing the subject thing had been in vain.

Because, from his part, the answer was exactly the same:

“Like me.”

And Dad didn’t like that, for he started scratching his scalp harder, accidentally.

“No. It’s nothing like you.” He said. “You’re not like that, Max. Society hates telekinesis because some evil dude decided to use his powers, his telekinesis, for awful reasons and stained prodigy’s names. You’re not like that. You’re not abusive, or selfish or evil. And I don’t want to hear you comparing yourself to him ever again. Understood?”

To this day, that was the most aggressive form of validation someone had ever given him, but Max took it anyway, because he trusted Dad, and if he had said something like that, then there had to be a clear reason behind it.

“Understood.” He whispered.

And he tried, he really tried, to believe it. But, like many other things, no matter how hard Max tried, he was still severely confused. Not that he didn’t know about the Age of Anarchy, or the parties involved in the Age of Anarchy.

The quarantine, needless to say, could get pretty boring most of the time. Max had to do a lot of things to kill time, and some of those activities involved reading books that children shouldn’t be reading. He did read some children’s books, but then he would find himself looking through history articles and books, and reading the chapters that interested him the most. For instance, he was confident he knew about the Age of Anarchy, but one thing was knowing about it, and another, different thing, was having an opinion about in regards to it.

Max didn’t know if he had something to say about the topic. If he did, it was a very incomplete idea, and it was very likely he wouldn’t be able to phrase it correctly.

The group of people Max talked the most to were adults, and those adults, especially the ones who had experienced the Age of Anarchy and somehow managed to make it out alive, refused to talk about it. As for the few children he had talked to…

Well, about them…

Long story short, they had lives.

They all had lives outside of a glass, unlike Max. Maybe they weren’t the most interesting of lives, but at least they for sure had to be more interesting than his’. They didn’t have a pre-established schedule, where a designated person would come in to feed him or extract blood samples from his body, to then take them to the laboratory. They didn’t have to hear a total of seven alarms to remind him what he had to do: Wake up and get dressed, have breakfast and brush his teeth, enter the virtual sessions with his teachers, take a shower, have his blood samples taken,  start doing his homework –if he had any- and do whatever he wanted once he was finished, have dinner, brush his teeth and go to bed, and then start all over again.

That moment, when he had spare time, would be the same one normal kids used to go out with their friends, like Adrian did. To go to the park and get themselves a scarily huge wound at the center of their knee. To live. To breathe air. To do…literally anything that wasn’t this.

Because Max was different from the many children he hadn’t yet gotten the opportunity to meet or talk to, because, obviously, they wouldn’t want to spend the whole day hanging out with a person…like him.

The only way Max could see two out of the three people in his family was through a crystal wall. And he couldn’t kiss them, he couldn’t touch them… sometimes he even wondered if he knew how their voices sounded, because, after all, Dad’s voice sounded the tiniest bit different once he crossed that infamous glass door.

He couldn’t walk through the streets of Gatlon, because, for starters, he didn’t know them. And if he dared to go out there, he would get killed on spot for having accidentally neutralized a prodigy who didn’t want to be neutralized.

Other kids had nannies whom they complained about when their parents couldn’t look after them (at least that’s the kind of things he saw on the TV shows he watched) but Max had patrol units that would move from one corner of the room to another, ready to attack anyone who came closer than necessary to him, because the only one who could take care of him in person, was Hugh.

Other kids could go out freely, without being scared of anything at all. They could get hurt while having fun with their friends and family. They could laugh until they cried with them. They could hug them, sleep in the same bed as them. They could walk their pets, go on road trips, go to amusement stores, water parks…

They could experience the current world; watch all the new events that were happening every day, in first hand.

They didn’t have to read about the past, or the people from the past to keep themselves entertained. They didn’t have the need to do that. At all.

They were living the lives Max couldn’t have, because he was too dangerous for that.

And obviously, that’s why he couldn’t just…go around asking other kids about what was their favorite bug, their favorite planet…or their opinions about Ace Anarchy, and if Pops (Simon) saying “Alec, with an A as in Abusive Swine” made them laugh.

Besides, he hadn’t even met that many kids his age. Or kids, for that matter.

He was aware Adrian wasn’t exactly a grown up, but he wasn’t a kid either, so, he usually didn’t make it into that list.

In fact, just like the banned powers in that manual, there were only two kids in Max’s list of acquaintances.

Aunt Tamaya’s first baby was born without powers, when Max was like four years old, and his dads were way too excited about it (Weird thing to brag about out loud, honestly, because all the recruits in the Headquarters were betting ridiculous amounts of money on which powers the Thunderbaby would have –Max could hear them- and one day they just heard The Dread Warden storming into the hallway, euphorically screaming “GUESS WHAT, MY LITTLE CHERUB BABY? YOUR COUSIN IS ABSOLUTELY FREAKING POWERLESS!”), for they thought Max would finally be able to have a friend who was more or less his age. Dad was the one who brought him in, two weeks after he was born. He was still tiny, red and chubby, and wrapped in his three different blankets that way, he looked like a bloated marshmallow.

Aunt Tamaya, her husband, Pops, Adrian, Aunt Kasumi and Uncle Evander were outside (as always) waiting to see what happened…and, it was extremely odd for Max to admit it, but he couldn’t remember much about that moment, even though he was already older than three. There was, however, a video taken by Uncle Evander where, if you narrowed your eyes hard enough, you could see the moment Max burst into tears right after kissing the baby’s cheek.

Neil was his friend.

At least, Max considered him to be his friend. Still, they had an age gap of four whole years, and a part of him was waiting until he was a little older so they could be on the same page. Because sometimes, when Neil couldn’t comprehend something semi-important that Max had just said, things could get pretty awkward, because there were occasions when, if Neil got too frustrated over anything, he would start crying, and his sobs often summoned his mother all the way from across the building. She never particularly tried to put the blame on Max. In fact, she hadn’t even glared at him not once, ever.

But she did choose to take him with her, into her office, or ask Adrian to babysit him while he calmed down.  Afterwards, he usually didn’t come back to the quarantine.

“It’s not your fault, Max.” Pops would tell him, always. “It’s just that…Neil...he’s younger than you. There are things that might be…easy to you, but that are super complicated to him. And you might be able to do things that he can’t, and he can’t understand why he can’t, so he gets super confused and angry and that’s why he cries and Tamaya has to come and comfort him.”

“That, and because she’s like a...very freaky bird mom who hears her children cry and comes around with her super sonic enhanced sense of hea—“

“Hugh, don’t be rude.”

Every time they had that discussion in front of him, Max could never understand why Pops said Dad was being rude. He was right, to a certain extent. Aunt Tamaya was just…being a mom.

And that’s what moms did.

At least, that’s what Max had read and seen on TV because families like his’ were…super rare to find in his cartoons or favorite books. In fact, the times when he had seen himself represented in any of the things were so few that, for the longest time, Max had this weird, messed up idea that biological men could give birth. He thought that Adrian, apart from the fact that he was the closest to him, looked more similar to Simon, and that had to mean he had given birth to him, while Hugh had been the one to give birth to Max.

One year, when Max was six, they finished Lady Indomitable’s gigantic golden statue, placed downtown. It was late June, and though the city had previously looked covered in colors, that day it just looked…white and golden. That’s the best way Max  could find to put it into words.

According to Max’s weather application, the heat was unbearable that day (good thing he couldn’t feel anything because the temperature in the quarantine was always regulated) yet, according to what he was seeing in one of his screens, a great percentage of the citizens of Gatlon were marching in the streets carrying floating lanterns, headed towards downtown where the event was being held.

The Council was standing in front of the covered statue. All of them except Blacklight, who had stayed to take care of the Headquarters, and Max could see him from where he was. They gave a speech about Lady Indomitable together, and as they started revealing the statue, Tsunami sang a song that was supposed to be one of Lady Indomitable’s favorite ones, and that Max was too young to recognize (he supposed). In his opinion, it was a cute event, but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t utterly confused the moment he saw Adrian taking one step ahead to be the first one to let go of his floating lantern, which was different from the other ones, because his’ was bigger, and it had a big “I”. Besides, people waited a couple of seconds until it was stable above their heads to let go of their own floating lanterns.

It still looked cute to him, but now it looked weird as well. So he got up from his chair, and walked towards the edge, pressing his hands against the glass. He hoped that would be enough to magically catch Evander’s attention, who was, at the moment, using his chair as a swing, as he typed a number in his computer, copying it from his calculator and eating from his salad every now and then. Obviously, Max’s telepathic call wasn’t enough, and he had to knock on the glass a couple of times, loudly. Even then, Uncle Evander didn’t look up in his direction.

But he did hear him, because he did respond.

“It’s not gonna work, Maximus. I’m not getting you out.”

As a side note, Max considered telling him his full name was Maximilian and not Maximus, because that was way before he realized it was a nickname. Nevertheless, he just let it pass, for the simple reason he had better things to ask. That’s why he proceeded to knock again, instead of speaking.

“What is it?”

“I wanna ask you something.”

Evander tried to steady himself in the chair without falling on his back, and once he succeeded, he came closer to the quarantine, with his arms over his hips.

“Why is Adrian doing that?” He asked, just because he wasn’t able to find another way to phrase it, while pointing at the screen behind him; Evander narrowed his eyes following his finger, as if he hadn’t been watching the event himself from a livestream on his phone. A few seconds later, he seemed to realize what he was talking about, and bit his upper lip, before pouting barely a little.

Then, he clicked his tongue.

“Because that’s his mom. And today’s her birthday.”

And it’s not that Max was insensitive enough not to recognize that it was very sad, but at the same time those single words were enough to make the idea he had of his life fall apart. All the things he thought he had already managed to understand felt fake and incorrect, and it was so fast it almost made him feel dizzy.

“She’s not his mom.” He declared.

Evander opened his eyes very widely and, next thing he knew, was that, for some reason, he looked nervous. Which, to say the least, was very…unlike Evander. He was usually super…confident, and, in Dad’s words: “He walks with his back too straight for a person who says some dumb shit every time he opens his mouth”.

At that moment, his back wasn’t straight at all, and he kept on wiping the sweat off his palms in the suit.

“…I mean…she’s not…alive anymore. But… that doesn’t mean that…”

“Noooo. I didn’t mean that.” Max cut him off. “She’s not her mom, because Adrian already has a mom.”

He stopped suddenly. Max could almost see his brain working at full speed, trying to process the data he had just received. Then, he blinked, arching his eyebrow.

“Who’s…who’s his mom?” He asked, getting closer to the crystal, and crouching down to be at Max’s height (Evander was almost too tall for his own sake). “Do Simon or Hugh…?”

“No. I mean she’s not his mom because Simon’s his mom.” Max stated, confident enough to move a mountain with his raw determination and his bare hands, which, needless to say, did nothing but make Evander even more confused.

Not that Max couldn’t understand why.

He was a brand new, redeemed person now.

But back then he wasn’t.

“…Simon is what, you said?”

“Adrian’s mom.” Max reaffirmed.

Still bewildered, Evander gawked. Perhaps he understood where that confusion was coming from but, at the same time, maybe he was too disturbed to ask for additional information. Max didn’t know which one of the two would make him feel more embarrassed, especially taking into account the next thing Evander said:

“That is the weirdest shit somebody has ever said to me, and I’ve talked to the Puppeteer an unhealthy amount of times.”

He wasn’t the one who explained to him the way his own family worked. On the contrary, he immediately told his dads about it, and next time the both of them came to talk to him, they tried to make him understand the concept of homosexual couples.

And they failed.

Miserably.

And he was using that term, because after that talk, Max went through life for a while saying that his ethnicity was Gay, because both of his dads were gay. Over and over again, they tried to correct him, but nothing seemed to work, and Max kept on spreading the information that he was gay (something he didn’t know yet) until Aunt Kasumi decided to intervene and, for his birthday, she got him a children’s book called All in Rainbow, which, according to the information in the first page, was actually a translation from a Latin American book written by two lesbians (one of them non-binary) and illustrated by the same woman who had made the Anarchists’ and the Renegades’ graphic novels and was also a Latina.

That book was something similar to a gay encyclopedia. It was narrated by this girl named Phoenix, because it followed her throughout her school and her daily life, where she came across different people and families. After every short story, there was an informative section explaining everything in regards to the new person’s identity, including their flag, the meaning of said flag, and the explanation of certain terms. Max really enjoyed it, and, in fact, he ended up going through it more than once. When he tried to persuade Adrian into reading it too, he admitted he already had, when he was younger,  and proceeded to make a comment about how pretty the name “Phoenix” was.

It was only then that Max was able to understand how his own family worked, and how freaking inept he had sounded when he decided it was a great idea to use it as an ethnicity.

That book was, in fact, the cue for all the grown ups in his life to start buying books for him, which he was grateful for, except for the one that he, ironically enough, had gotten from Uncle Evander. Sure, he appreciated that he had spent money on that,  but Max didn’t appreciate the fact that the plot was about a dog that was sent away to a school for dogs but made everyone believe he was in jail so he could escape. The drawings were cute, but he just couldn’t find the moral of the story and he didn’t like that.

His dads, from their part, got him a book about two frogs that, at least to Max, acted as if they were a couple; Aunt Tamaya was the one of the short books without drawings.

As for Aunt Kasumi…she usually brought a lot of educational books; every time she overheard him expressing something that was making him confused, she brought him a book about it, including that time she heard him asking Ruby Tucker “So, are you always bleeding?” completely out of context.

Max supposed that it had a lot to do with the fact that Aunt Kasumi was in charge of Child Services, and she spent a lot of time with children, especially because she liked to volunteer in orphanages, having been in one herself when she was a little girl. She usually moved in prodigy orphanages, for she was one to know the poor conditions they sometimes presented.

And…to say the least, she wasn’t a woman of many words. She was very reserved with everything she did. And, besides, it was none of Max’s business. After all, he was just a kid.

But, in this case, it kind of involved him.

Kind of.

For the simple reason that there were two names in the list of people his age Max had talked to. The first one was Neil (who wasn’t even his age. He was just close to that) and the second one…

The second one involved Aunt Kasumi.

Just like people were able to overhear his conversations through the quarantine, Max was able to overhear the conversations they were having on the outside, especially when he was trying to do it on purpose.

Every time he was too bored, in other words.

Some of the things older people said were confusing, but, over time, Max had learned to store that information, so he could comprehend it better in the future. He didn’t know at what level that was healthy, yet he still did it because, literally, he didn’t have anything better to do.

During extremely busy days, the Council chose to spend the night in the Headquarters, just in case, and while they could sleep in the common room, if Pops was too insistent on wanting to be close to the quarantine, they slept in the hallway.

In Max’s hallway.

Of course, Dad would sleep with him inside the quarantine but, in order to make it feel more like a pajama party, they slept close to the edge of the “room” (if it could be called that way), so close to the Councils’ inflatable beds, they could’ve touched them if there hadn’t been a wall in between.

When they were sleeping in that hallway, there wasn’t a patrol looking over Max, because they were the patrol and, every two hours, they changed turns to stay awake. All of them except Dad, who stayed the entire night with Max. The others often got up and started walking around the quarantine according to their ages. That is, Aunt Tamaya went first, followed by Pops, then Aunt Kasumi, and Uncle Evander at the end. However, since it wasn’t like they were too used to having many hours of sleep, Kasumi and Evander usually got up at the same time and patrolled together.

That night, Max was having trouble sleeping. Dad was hugging him, which made him feel very comfortable, but, at the same time, before he wrapped his arms around him, he had been moving way too much, and that had made Max feel uneasy, because a part of him, though he knew it was highly possible it wasn’t true, was feeding the annoying worm at the back of his brain that told him he was the one making Dad uneasy. That Dad was moving and couldn’t sleep because he didn’t want to be anywhere near him. Perhaps he would’ve preferred to be with Pops. Perhaps he would’ve preferred to be with Adrian, even. Anyone but Max.

Which, again, he knew things…weren’t like that. But that little, nameless, uninvited worm was always telling him that, over and over again, determined to repeat those awful words until they made so much noise they made him cry.

And even then, when he was already crying, the worm ate deeper into his brain and told him to stop because, in the end, who was he crying for anyway?

Who was he crying for, if nobody was here to see or hear him?

That night, of course, he didn’t cry, for the simple reason that…well, he did have somebody who would hear him cry, and maybe comfort him like Aunt Tamaya comforted Neil when he was crying…

But he didn’t want Dad to do that.

Not today.

Not because he were mad at him, but because he feared that, if he did, then Dad would be the one who would get mad.

Besides, that night he got extremely busy trying to overhear the conversation between Kasumi and Evander who, the moment they got up, started talking as they walked, first at a volume so low their voices could’ve been considered murmurs, but then, with every second, the issue started escalating.

And it wasn’t that they were arguing, it was that they weren’t exactly happy with each other, nor did they seem to manage to get to a mutual agreement.

Max felt like that time he was watching a movie with his earphones on, and instead of paying attention to the plot, he kept trying to identify which sounds were dominant in his left ear, and which ones were dominant in his right ear, because Uncle Evander and Aunt Kasumi were walking around the quarantine, and the echoes of their voices were floating right behind them, making it almost impossible for Max to decipher their messages word by word.

At least, until they stopped in front of him. That is, very close to the inflatable mattresses, too. And with just one eye open, he was able to tell Aunt Kasumi wasn’t amused, with her arms so tight across her chest that way, and with Uncle Evander standing more straight than necessary (because, yes, Dad was right about that...sometimes... because Max had read somewhere that tall people had to be really careful with their posture to avoid spine deformities or have less complications when they were older) waving his –as Aunt Tamaya would’ve called them- Hot Cheeto fingers right in front of her face, in a way so aggressive she sometimes had to lean backwards not to get one of her eyes poked out.

“…and it won’t look good for the organization. It won’t look good, Kasumi. You know why?”

“Yes, Vandy. I know why. I already knew before, yet you took the time to explain it to me another seven times. I mean, thank you, I guess, but—“

“If I kept on explaining it to you, it’s because I didn’t…and I don’t know what’s not clicking.”

“What do you mean with what’s not clicking?” And she tilted her head to the side. “…Are you still talking to me?”

“Don’t play dumb, Kasumi. Especially not in front of me, because I know you.”

“Right. But I still don’t get what you’re referring to. What’s not clicking about what, exactly?”

Evander laughed in a way Max would’ve just…understood if she had decided to punch him in the face so he would stop.

“We’re a big organization, Kasumi. People talk.”

“Of course that people talk. I mean, our citizens support our cause and our government system. In fact, statistically, more than half of the population do, but sometimes there are things that… are for their own good but they will refuse to understand and accept them anyway. And that’s normal. We might be the law, but we can’t control how the masses think, you know?”

“For their own good, you say. Beneficial.”

“Exactly.”

“Beneficial for who, if you’d be so kind?” Evander laughed again. “As far as I understand, we’re talking about one single problem, from a single person. It won’t bring anything beneficial, as you call it, for our organization, or for our system…if anything, it will damage it and make us lose credibility.”

“…Why?”

As a response, he started flapping his arms around, as if he were trying to point at something invisible. Or at something that wasn’t really there.

And this time, Aunt Kasumi didn’t try to pretend she was seeing it, and remained silent until Evander realized he would have to make himself understood.

“Because…” He clenched his fists, sighing loudly, almost like he was certain he was right and Aunt Kasumi wasn’t. “Our policy. Remember that? You know, a thing that actually exists and you helped write?”

She didn’t respond.

“Our policy as Renegades, it’s that we shall keep our people safe, and that includes prodigy and non-prodigy citizens. We shall preserve their lives no matter the cost, and create a safe environment where all can coexist and protect each other. That means that no prodigy individual with questionable reasons is to be allowed to cross that gate and disturb the peace or, worse, put somebody’s life at risk.”

“I’m aware of that.”

“Yes, you should be, because we wrote it, for fuck’s sake.”

“Evander, please. There’s no need to curse or—“

“…But you know what that means? It means that we can’t just…go against that policy and expect our citizens, our recruits, even, to still take us seriously.”

“Oh, but I’m following that policy because, as you might remember, we also pledged to assist anyone whose life was at risk, and people who, day by day, have to live under very vulnerable circumstances. It is our job to intervene and take them to a safer place, where their quality of life can improve, isn’t it?”

“It is, but that applies for people who aren’t dangerous to society.”

At that point, Max had both his eyes open, and he was seeing the scene more clearly.

In fact, everything was so clear, that he was able to read the confusion in Aunt Kasumi’s expression, even before she said:

“…This is a kid we’re talking about.”

“She is dangerous.”

“She’s not dangerous, Evander. She's a kid. Sure, her behavior has caused her to go bouncing from orphanage to orphanage like a rubber ball but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be helped, that doesn’t mean we should just turn our backs at her, and that doesn’t mean she’s dangerous.”

“You know damn well her behavior’s not what I’m talking about.”

“Well, I am, because that’s the only thing that should concern us at the moment.”

“No, it’s not?”

“It is. Because she’s a kid…and, honestly, Vandy…” Aunt Kasumi sighed. “… I know we were raised thinking life is war, but… the truth is, people are not born evil. Or dangerous, for that matter. Take your time and think about it, and  you can talk to me again once you’ve calmed down, because you must be pretty much aware I don't appreciate this tone. Besides, it’s not like this little argument is going to stop me anyway.” She shrugged.

“…after all, I already talked to Hugh.”

“…And what did he say?”

“It’s not my place to tell you that. Ask him.”

Max never knew whether he had taken that suggestion or not but, knowing Evander, he just assumed he hadn’t. And, to be honest, he never asked Dad about it either. He just stood and watched how everything proceeded to go down and chaos unleashed.

Though, he had to admit, unlike what had happened with other “big” events, this one specific chaos was rather discrete. A kind of well-kept secret.

In fact, the only explicit hint that something would happen in the next few days, was the little disturbance caused by Team Frostbite (it was always Team Frostbite. Max had no idea why everyone was so…willing to put up with their…issues so much, and without hesitation) when it was their turn to patrol around the quarantine and Evander came around, holding his notepad, and muttered something to them.

“Whom?!” Genissa Clark, Frostbite, snapped immediately.

Evander frowned and, judging by the way his moustache moved, he also pouted, before turning at Mack Baxter, Aftershock, to start talking to him instead.

“Do you have any idea of what she’s talking about?” He clicked his tongue. “Like…okay, nevermind…”

When Max looked up, he saw the exact moment when Evander realized he was listening to the conversation, so he lowered his tone once again.  Yet, Max was still able to see the million ways in which Genissa Clark's face contorted and, in the end, the first second Evander shut his mouth, she declared:

“We’re not available for that. Perhaps that task should be assigned to Team Sketch or Team Peregrine. They’re always lollygagging around, it’s about time they get some real responsibi—“

“That’s a no, then. Alright. Thanks for your cooperation, Team Frostbite. Or, lack of, more likely. Do better next time, okay?”

If Max wanted to be honest with himself, it hadn’t taken him much time to realize he wasn’t fond of any of the members in Team Frostbite. Or Frostbite herself. In fact, he considered her to be almost insufferable, and, again, he couldn’t quite understand why they were allowed to boss everybody around. To a certain extent, they reminded him of the popular kids (who were also bullies) in every movie he had ever watched. They weren’t nice. Not even likeable.

Maybe Max was just very specific on the type of people he liked.

Or maybe he liked everyone and their mom, except Team Frostbite, because he didn’t know any better than that, while  at the same time he knew better than liking Team Frostbite.

But he didn’t know better than liking Margaret White, because…well…

She hadn’t done anything particularly awful for him to have an opinion as strong as Uncle Evander’s about her.

She came on a Friday.

Not that she exclusively came to talk to him.

She, in fact, arrived alongside Aunt Kasumi, who was wearing her civilian clothes –High-waisted jeans and a baby blue shirt, damp with sweat because it was hot outside- and kept leaving her car key on every table that came across her, before coming back to it to grab them.

At first, Max wasn’t able to see Margaret very well, mostly because he was distracted with his online classes, and she was taken straight to Dad’s office, along with Adrian’s entire team. And though Max didn’t see much, he was able to catch a glimpse on how Adrian kept on trying to grab her hand, and she insisted on pulling away.

At some point, he had read about that too.

The Renegades accepted recruits from ages 14 and up, talking about patrolling. However, they had a child protection program, where, basically, they assisted orphan prodigy children with behavioral issues or, though only few people liked to admit it, potential to be a part of the organization when they were older. Adrian didn’t like it and, strangely enough, out of everyone, Evander didn’t like it either. Nevertheless, Evander was one to get more aggressive when it came to child recruitment, which, thankfully, wasn’t common at all.

In fact, those cases were so rare, that they referred to them as “exceptions”. After all, children were not allowed into the Trials. As far as Max knew, they weren’t placed in patrol units. On the contrary, they were given small positions in the organization, and their paychecks were directed to their respective savings account, something that Pops was in charge of. However, they could use that money for their personal needs or something they wanted to buy, as the few children recruits resided in orphanages around Gatlon and went back there after their shift was over. Max supposed that sometimes their caretakers refused to buy them something because it wasn’t good for their health and it must be very satisfying to tell them it was their money (That’s what Adrian always did when Dad refused to buy something for him).

(That, or he went and asked Pops for that same thing).

Usually, they could have cash withdrawals just by presenting their Renegade Recruit ID because, obviously, they didn’t have an official ID yet.

And not only that. The children recruits were assigned a patrol unit with older members to look after them, or help them with anything they needed. Taking into account the conversation he had overheard, he supposed that duty had fallen on Adrian’s team (A theory that was later confirmed to be true by Adrian himself).

They were never left unsupervised, just like Max.

The day Margaret arrived, for a couple of minutes, maybe hours, Max was submerged in his own little world, and in the assignment his last teacher had told him to do. It was just him, his colored pencils, his paper sheets, his notes, his head, his hands, and the miniature planet Earth that his quarantine supposed, against the real world that he had never stepped on.

But every now and then, a little piece of the unknown, mysterious real world came running to his encounter and talked to him, sometimes in the most sudden, unsolicited way.

Sometimes it was Dad opening the door without calling. Sometimes it was Adrian pressing a new drawing against the crystal. Sometimes it was Pops, making a little “Psst” sound to get his attention.

Sometimes it was three little knocks, and the girl that was producing them with her knuckles.

Back then, Margaret’s hair was longer, to the point where she could tie it in a high ponytail, decorated with a blue bow, which combined with his orphanage uniform: A white polo, with the institution’s symbol by the right side of her chest, beneath a cobalt blue skirt with suspenders, long white socks and black scholar shoes.

He saw her and recognized she was real the first time, but Max still gave himself a couple of seconds to grasp the fact that she was really there.

Well, not there-there.

That she was there, as in, through the glass.

And she was calling him, even if she wasn’t saying anything. In fact, she was just there, eating from a chocolate bar with puffed rice. Her free hand was still over the glass.

And she was waiting.

So, he figured he didn’t want to keep her waiting anymore, and leaving his task and his tools behind, Max walked in her direction. And like it always happened, he stopped right before bumping his forehead against the hard, translucent surface.

Margaret took another bite from her chocolate, with an arched eyebrow, but she said nothing. From afar, Max hadn’t been able to really appreciate her features, but now that he was closer, he realized she was taller than him; her small, brown eyes were making her lashes look bigger; her black hair looked thicker and he was able to conclude that her skin tone was more or less like Pops’, maybe a little darker. She had a mark over her cheek, and at first Max thought it was a mole or a birthmark…until, of course, he realized that moles weren’t (or, at least, shouldn’t be) purple, and realized it was a bruise.

He didn’t ask her about it. Adrian had once told him that there were people who might not want to talk about their bruises or open wounds, not because the stories behind them were painful to tell, but because they were too embarrassing and telling embarrassing stories was an inconvenience.

“…well… now that I think about it…” He said right after. “…That’s not it. No. Not really. Sometimes your wounds’ backstories are painful. Or sometimes…you just want to keep them a secret, you know? And secrets are…sort of important.”

He believed every word.

Hence why, instead of saying something too nosy about that bruise, a little slowly at first, Max started lifting his hand up, until he reached the spot where Margaret’s was, and pressed his palm there. When she stared at his palm in confusion, Max clarified:

“Hugh five. You know?" Max giggled a little." As in… the Captain? Hugh? ...No?"

She didn’t laugh. And that was odd because Adrian would’ve.

Margaret wasn’t Adrian, sadly. And, it seemed to be, she hadn’t had an older sibling to tell her that some things just…weren’t adequate as icebreakers to start a conversation. Because, like Adrian had said, there were certain things other people might not want to talk about.

“Are you sick?” She directly asked.

Max was still “pressing” his hand against hers.

Gulping hard, he felt his throat boiling hot, almost as if it were growing blisters.

“No.” He said in a hoarse voice. “Why?”

Not pulling away either, Margaret said:

“The other day, Sister Malinda brought a very tiny baby into the orphanage. They were so small they had to take them to the medical wing.” She took another bite from her chocolate, and kept on speaking with her mouth full. “I sneaked out of my room to see them, and they were inside this little glass box that helped  keeping them alive. Sister Tam told me so.”

Max kept quiet for a while. He would’ve been lying if he said he didn’t have a little curiosity about the name, but Margaret solved everything that had to be solved even if he didn’t ask her to.

“Sister Tam was named after Thunderbird. She’s younger than the other nuns.”

He guessed so.

Aunt Tamaya’s real name had been revealed to the general public on the 13th year into the Age of Anarchy, when she reappeared after being away for months thanks to an accident that involved Queen Bee and a cliff or something like that (Max couldn’t quite understand it, and Aunt Tamaya couldn’t remember much about it either. If she did, then she just didn’t desire to talk about it). It wasn’t a fun anecdote or anything like that but, according to his dads, the name Tamaya topped the lists for the most female-assigned names for at least a year, and the same thing happened in the 20th year into the Age of Anarchy...however, by the time she was buried, the world didn’t know Lady Indomitable’s real name, and for an entire month, people used Regina instead of Georgia. When Max asked why, Dad answered that, when attending public events, Lady Indomitable used to wear a pair of shiny golden R-shaped earrings that caused everybody in Gatlon to develop mass hysteria and made themselves believe that those Rs meant Regina, when in reality, according to Lady Indomitable herself, one of them meant “Rawles”, and the other “Renegade”. In fact, Oscar Silva (Smokescreen, one of the members of Adrian’s team) had once said that one of his cousins, who lived in Mexico, had been named Renata Regina (Though nobody knew what the heck that first name was, and Oscar had a really peculiar way to pronounce Regina) because she was born a few days after Lady Indomitable’s decease.

“I knew that.” Max lied.

“Sure, buddy. I bet you did.” Margaret chuckled. And there, Max realized she thought she was too clever.

Which, he didn’t doubt she was. He wasn’t in the position to state that. At least, not yet.

But what he was in the position to state, was that, if she thought herself to be clever, then it was his opportunity to think of himself as clever too. After all, he had been reading his whole life because he didn’t have anything else to do.

If Margaret was clever, then so was he.

“You’re talking about an incubator.” He said.

Margaret looked up out of a sudden (Max hoped she hadn’t gotten dizzy). He could still see the chocolate, that at this point should’ve been mush, stored in the inside of her right cheek.

“Uh?” She asked, struggling to keep her mouth closed.

Max gulped, and tapped the surface with his fingers.

“The thing where they put the little baby. It’s called an incubator. That’s where they put pre-term babies, because they’re not ready to survive outside of their mother’s womb. Sometimes their lungs don’t work on their own, sometimes their hearts are too fast or too slow…”

“You look too old to be a baby.” She observed. “Are your powers something related to that? Like, are you a baby who doesn’t look like a baby?”

For a second, Max thought about quoting Evander that time he had boldly stated that Simon was Adrian’s mom, but he didn’t because he wasn’t in the mood to curse.

“…No. First, this is not an incubator. And second,  I’m a kid.” He answered. “I’m not a baby.”

“Then why are you here?”

The short answer was that, honestly, that was none of her business. And the even shorter answer, was:

“I can’t tell you. It’s a secret. And secrets are sort of important.”

“A secret.” She repeated, as if tasting the word. “…You don’t look like you want to be here. Are you allowed to come out?”

The short answer was still that it was none of her business. But, if he wanted to be honest, for some reason, he didn’t want to give that answer. Because, to be fair, she would find out on her own sooner or later. Because, yes, people talked, and while his dads were kind of secretive about him, everyone in the headquarters knew him. Her being clueless was just a temporary event that would vanish into thin air in a blink.

And, for some reason, he wanted to enjoy it while it lasted.

Maybe tell her something that wasn’t real. Maybe… tell her something that wasn’t necessarily true but that he wanted it to be. Maybe something that was more interesting than what he was, in reality; maybe something that would make the worm in his brain go away for two weeks.

"I can't get out." He finally decided. "Because this glass is infrangible."

Then, he knocked on it three times.

"See?"

Margaret tilted her hair to the side, looking like a cat.

"What does that word mean?"

And dumb as it sounded, Max felt a twinge in his stomach along with a violent wave of pride. Because, even if it was hard for him to admit it, he was hoping she would ask that.

He wanted her to ask that.

"It means you can't break it."

Margaret's eyes seemed bigger. But just as she was separating her lips to speak, somebody behind her cleared their throat.

That's when Max spotted Aunt Kasumi leaned against a wall with her arms crossed. When Margaret looked over her shoulder, she found her there too. But while Max waved at her, Margaret remained inexpressive.

"You're very far from the restroom, Maggie." Kasumi said, in a serious tone. Afterwards, she massaged her temples.

"Please, darling. Just… help me here, okay? We have to go back to the office."

And she didn't seem mad, but rather disappointed.

When it came to Aunt Kasumi, that was enough. Max knew that, and Margaret knew that too. That's why they both removed their hands from the glass, and Margaret started going away.

However, before she was too far, Max asked:

"Why are you here?"

And Margaret turned around, smiling.

"If you're not telling me, I'm not telling you." She sentenced. Then, she proceeded to imitate his voice as she said:

"It's a secret."

And for a while, obviously, it remained that way. A secret. But it wasn't long before they both knew everything they needed to know.

Margaret was integrated into the janitorial team, but, for a while, people talked about her and her powers, and Max couldn’t help but remember what Dad had told him in the bathtub, and the conversation between Evander and Kasumi.

Yet, more than scared, Max felt… something he didn't know what it was. In fact, he wasn't scared of her. More likely, a part of him felt that he knew what it was like to be her, because maybe they weren't that different after all.

People were scared of them both.

But he wasn't scared of her. No, not really.

He hoped she wasn’t scared of him either.

Maybe they could've been very good friends, even through the infrangible glass that kept him from getting pointed at, frowned upon or killed.

#renegades trilogy #marissa meyer #Dawnie writes #renegades ship week #margaret white #magpie #max everthart-westwood #the bandit

[divinefireangel]

Reward

SF9 Dawon x F! Reader smut. 😋👅

I will sell my soul for this man 🥵

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. If this piece of fan fiction is offensive to any celebrity, fandom or culture please let me know so I can take it down. Also note that this is my version of a character or celeb, which will vary from person to person.

Author's Note: Fantasy!!! I really enjoyed writing this lol. I hope you will enjoy reading this just as much 😏

Copyright: Please note that this is my work and if you want to publish this on any other platform, take my permission before doing so. Taking an author's work and posting it somewhere else without any intimation is just disrespectful. I readily welcome suggestions and criticisms. That being said, Happy reading! 🤍

Warnings: 18+ and female readers (nothing specified with respect to appearance, etc of reader). This is legit porn without plot lol. I mean there is a lil plot at the beginning. Unprotected sex. Please never do this unless you actually want children. Lmk if I need to add more.

Requested: YES! My first actual request 🥺 ILY @mintysanghyuk

Hey! I hope you had a great day <3

I wanted to ask if I could maybe request a little one shot with Dawon where he helps you cleaning up your room and gives you a little "reward" afterwards? That's what I would definitely need rn 🥲🥺

Kinda messed up the request a lil lol 💀. Still I hope you like my lovely Theresa!

1487 words

"Babe. I love you. But... " Dawon stopped speaking contemplating whether he should continue his remark or not. Humming in question you looked up at him with your bright shiny eyes. Opening and closing his mouth, he stood in front of you awestruck by your beautiful face.

As though you were a mind reader, which you are when it comes to him, you knew exactly what he wanted to say. Realising that he didn't want to offend you, you couldn't help but let a knowing smile appear across your face.

"It's about my room isn't it? It's okay. I know it's been a while since I cleaned it. I'll tidy it up today! " You said jumping up and down on your toes. Giggling at his shocked and shy expression you lean up to kiss him on his plumpy cheek.

Moving around you started by picking up your clothes that were closest to you on the floor. Folding up the ones that could be worn without a wash and piling up the ones that need to be washed on your bed.

"Can I help in any way? " Startled by the sound of his voice you remembered he was standing right there.

"No no no. You go practice at the company. I got this. I'll text you about dinner?"

"Okay. I'll probably come back before you even finish cleaning. Maybe I'll help you then."

"Ha ha very funny. I'll do it really fast now. " You fire back at his sarcastic comment. Pushing him out the door you slap his bottom before shutting it.

Tying up your hair in a bun, putting on your playlist, you get to working while singing and dancing.

By the time you finish cleaning your room, you completely forgot to check your phone, thereby not knowing that Dawon will be coming back sooner than planned and also not knowing that he's at looking at you from the doorway of your room with a smug expression.

"Wow babe." He said startling you the second time today. He is very sneaky huh.

"You have to stop doing that!! I got scared." You said huffing.

"Aw I'm sorry. I'll carry a bell next time." Grinning at your exaspered expression he loops is hands around your shoulders, dragging them down till they are at the dip of your hip, he leans in to kiss you ever so sweetly.

"You cleaned it so well! I didn't even know you had a rug! "

Whining you try to get away from his grip, but alas your man is too strong. Laughing slightly he leans his head between the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent. "Since you did so well, I want to give you a gift. A reward of sorts."

"Okay. What will you give me sir that you haven't already given me?" You ask, knowing full well what he means, tilting your head to a side to get a better look of his face.

"Oh it's nothing new you know. It's something we've done soo many times. Maybe a new position or even old one or I could just go down on you-"

Grabbling his face you kiss him with such sudden fire he doesn't respond at first. Slowly regaining himself he kissed you back and moved his hands to your butt cheeks, cupping and caressing them. Lifting you up from the ground he lays you on the bed without breaking the kiss.

"You still haven't said what you want. " He said kissing down your jaw and neck and slipping his hands from your butt through your hips to your stomach inside your shirt.

"I want you." You moaned fisting his shirt, a silent plea to get it off. Pushing you higher of the bed he gets on his knees near your legs and takes off his shirt with one hand. Biting your lip your stare boring into his eyes, you sit up to remove your shirt. Throwing it to the side you hold is body and lick his abs. Him working out so much really does pay off.

Moaning at your actions he stops you by lifting your face with his fingers. "You deserve a reward baby. I'll get mine later."

With that he makes you lay on your back as he continues kissing down your body, this time licking and biting the soft flesh on your chest. He free hand reaches the waistband of your pants and he tugs at it, seeking permission.

No matter how many times you do this, he is always so sweet and considerate. Whether he was going softly or a bit more rougher, he never fails to make your heart flutter with love when he does this.

Lifting your hips up in response, he takes off your pants and panties in one go. Whining when you noticed he's still more clothed than you, you tug at his belt and grind against his clothed length to get some friction to your wet and needy pussy.

Removing his belt and pants and boxers in a flash while you removed your bra, you both get naked completely. He bends your legs at your knees, places his hands at the top of your upper thigh and pulls you to the edge of the bed. Bending down between your legs, staring lustily into your eyes, he starts to kiss your lower abdomen, travelling lower and lower till you felt his sinful tongue lick the space near your clit.

Throwing your head back you moaned his name encouraging his to continue his actions. Placing a hand on his hair, you tug it slightly as he kitten licks your pussy to stimulate it. Crying when he licked harshly you pull his hair hard enough to make his moan, his moans adding to the pleasure he's giving you. Placing your other hand on your nipple, you twist it trying not to rub yourself against his mouth.

"Oh my gah- Baby I'm close! " Hearing your say this he stops all his actions. Whining in protest at the loss of contact, you open your eyes to his dark ones.

"Tell me if it's too much" He said. Taking your legs, placing them on each of his shoulder with his head in between them, he takes his hard cock and pumps it a few times. Placing the head of his dick at your entrance, he looks at your in question. Nodding vigorously you play with your breasts, knowing full well how much he enjoys the show.

Slowly he pushes his cock into your wet tight hole, both of you moaning at the feeling. After letting your adjust to his size a little, he started to move his hips, slower at first, and relentlessly fast after a few minutes. His pace rocking your body back and forth from your position on the bed, bouncing your boobs, arching your back. The pleasure almost being too much, so much so you almost screamed his name. Crying in pleasure, whining and moaning out his name, not caring how loud you were. That only spurred him on more and more causing him to call out your name and groan in pleasure.

Your juices coat his cock, letting him move in and out of your easily. Stopping for a moment, he removes your legs from his shoulders putting them on the bed as he bends down to kiss you, supporting himself on his forearms. Starting to move again, this time taking an even more faster speed, he chases both your orgasms. You can't help but squeal and scream because of him now. As he moves a hand to massage your clit, to add to the thrill, you move your palms to his back, digging your nails into it leaving crescent shaped marks.

Kissing you on the lips, swallowing your moans, you move your body with his to try and meet in the middle. Squeezing your legs around his waist as your final warning you cum on his cock, clawing at his back and biting his shoulder as he rides your out of your orgasm. Rubbing your clit gently he feels you clench your walls around him, finishing himself off with that, he cums into you.

His head falls onto your shoulder as you both regain your breath. Hugging him close to your body you kiss his temple, stroking his back, trying to soothe the pain from the marks you made.

"I love you" You said.

"I love you too. You're just, really really hot when you work." He said smiling into your shoulder.

Giggling you lift his face up to kiss him one last time before wanting to get up. He groans as he pulls out his cock from your entrance. Standing at the edge of the bed again, he helps you get up. Picking up the new mess of clothes, he tosses them in the laundry pile.

Hearing the shower water running, Dawon enters the bathroom.

"Can I join?"he asks. Grinning you let him join you in the shower.

#sf9 #dawon x reader #sf9 dawon #lee dawon #dawon #dawon smut #sf9 imagines #sf9 scenarios #sf9 smut #lee sanghyuk #lee sanghyuk smut #sf9 x reader

[nishiisenpai]

punch - tanaka ryūnosuke x reader

 REQUEST: “AHHHH ok so I'm irrationally angry rn and I do this thing where I punch my thighs so I don't accidentally commit a felony. I need some fluff so could you do any one of these boys (Tsukishima, Ushijima, or Tanaka,) seeing a f!reader doing the leg punchy? Any topic I just need some fluff 😅 Thanks - @italkmyselftosleep “

A/N: i chose tanaka cause he seemed to fit this more and relate to this request more too. i apologize that i wrote this so late because again, school was pretty terrible, but I hope this works :))) 

okay this was really cheesy, so i will warn you in advance, but thank you so much for being patient and here’s this request for you!!!

-

WARNING: Fluff!!! 

ADDITIONAL WARNING:  foul language will be added! and mentions of managing anger. (this request was made before my rules page got set up)

WHO:  Tanaka Ryūnosuke x Female Reader

-

Monday mornings are the worst. Let’s be honest. It was the starting of the week of school and it also could never start off right for anyone... Well for you that is. 

Your alarm rang loudly knocking you out of bed. 

“What time is it?” you cringed at the sound and the way your voice cracked. You squint your eyes while looking at your phone that stated 6:00 AM.

“5 more minutes.” as you stopped the alarm before turning to the other side of the bed.

The alarm rung 4 more times although you had slept past them all. The last one really shook you awake since the phone was right next to your ear.

“aH SHIT- I’m late!” as you pulled the covers off yourself but struggled to do so as you tossed and turned. You ran around your room scrambling to get your backpack ready while also dressing in the school uniform.

“Where is my vest?” as you searched through the piled up clothes at the foot of your bed. 

“Y/N! Hurry up! You’re going to be late!”

“I know! I’m sorry! I’m trying to look for my vest!”

“It’s in the wash, sorry hun!” your mom came in and threw in a different vest that was identical but had a small stain.

“It’s fine! Thanks for this one though!” you grabbed your stain remover stick and your backpack before fleeing to the bathroom to quickly rush your daily routine. You ran to the front door to put your shoes on in a hurry.

“Take this with you!” as your mom threw a sandwich at your head and you lurched forward. Turning around to pick up the bagged breakfast, thanked your mom before bolting out the door immediately and ran to school.

-

“Miss Y/N, you’re late to class.” as your teacher skimmed at your messy figure.

“Yes, I apologize for that, I can clean up the classroom after class to make up my tardiness.”

“Very well then, take a seat, we are on page 51 in the textbook.” You went to the back of your class and sat there placing your stuff down.

“Here’s the work sheet for today’s work.” your classmate who sat next to you said handing you the assignment.

“Thank you so much.”

“No worries... Oh, and uh Tanaka was looking for you earlier.”

“Wait- what? Do you know why?”

“Unsure, he didn’t say anything other than ask if you were here.”

“Oh okay, thanks. I’ll go find him later.”

Class continued and you barely managed to stay awake. It was bad that you had stayed up all night to play video games and you kind of beat yourself up for ruining your sleep schedule. But you as well didn’t regret it since you had just leveled up to a higher rank.

You yawned as you walked out of the classroom to go find Tanaka. He must have been with Noya though your assumption had completely disappeared when you heard yelling come your way.

“Y/N!!!!” your best friend Nishinoya came running towards you.

“Huh?” and you felt the sudden weight of Noya on your back. “Shit, when did you get so heavy?”

“Heavy?!?!?!” You laughed and shook your head while caring Noya.

“I was playing, chillllll.” 

“Mhm.” as he clung onto you still. You continued walking swaying your head side to side.

“Do you know where Tanaka is?”

“He was with me just a second ago.”

“So you ran off without him?”

“Yeah.” you smacked your forehead. “What?”

“You idiot, he’s probably trying to find you right now.”

“NISHINOYA!” Tanaka’s voice was heard somewhere on the right side of the building.

“AH SHIIIII” as Noya jumped off of your back and hid behind you. Tanaka came rounding the corner and saw you standing there in question.

“Hey babe, do you know where Nishinoya is?” you felt Noya tug on your shirt.

“Hm? Noya-san? No I haven’t, why?”

“He escaped Daichi’s meeting, and I had to bear with all the trouble he caused.”

“Oh really?” as you raised an eyebrow with an open smirk.

“Why do you look like that?”

“No reason... I will say, he might have went downstairs to the vending machines. He said he was hungry.”

“Alright, thanks babe.”

“You’re welcome.” as you saw Tanaka run down the stairs and you immediately pulled Noya’s arm from behind.

“You skipped Daichi’s meeting?!?!?”

“He was gonna yell at us!”

“Noya, that is irresponsible of you.”

“Well it was also irresponsible of you to lie to your boyfriend like that.”

“Hush- I don’t want to hear anything from you. Now you better go and run or I will drag you to Daichi myself.” Nishinoya shuddered in fear.

“Okay, fine. I will.” as Noya waved bye and you turned around and sighed.

“I forgot to ask Tanaka what he wanted earlier... I’ll just do it later.”

-

School continued and you again tried staying awake for them all. It was difficult knowing you lacked sleep which caused you to be cranky and irritated easily. Sometimes your fits would cause you to be annoying or angry. This lead you to act up more than you should have.

“Y/N, can you pass me those papers?”

“What do you want?”

“Uh, I was just asking if you could pass me those papers.”

“You literally can stand up and get it, I don’t know why you’re asking me.” you retorted back before putting your head back down on the desk.

“What the fuck?”

“I said what I said, so get up and get it. Geez...”

“Do you wanna fight or something?” your classmate raised her voice.

“Alright bet, let’s do it.” you turned to her annoyed.

“You asked for this.” as she stood up from her seat.

“Come at me bitch.” as you got up and stared at her.

“Ladies! Split it up! You both will be standing at the back of the class till the end of this period, and I do not want to hear a single word coming from both of your mouths.” Your teacher had spoken to both you and the girl as you guys headed to the back of the class and stood there.

The period carried on with you and this other classmate standing at the back of the classroom. This caused your irritation level to rise even more since your body was slowly breaking you down and begging you to lay down. 

“Alright, class dismissed. Miss Y/N, I need to have a word with you.” as your teacher insisted for you to come towards her.

“I heard that you are in the volleyball club as the manager.”

“Ah yes I am.”

“Although you are the manager, you must stay here after school for the clean up you had promised me earlier.”

“May I clean up another day? This practice is really important and I must be informed about it.”

“I’m sure the others will inform you about it later. Since it seemed that you were close with Nishinoya.”

“I am, but he’s-”

“I don’t want to hear it. You promised me, therefore you shall keep it and do it.”

“But promises can be broken.”

“Not this one, unless you’d like me to force you on cleaning duty tomorrow too.”

“No thank you.”

“Good, now get to it. The room doesn’t become sparkly clean by itself.” as your teacher grabbed her bag and left the classroom. You bowed to acknowledge her leave before heading to the chalkboard to write profanities all over the wall.

“Why the FUCK did I HAVE to play games past three!?!?!?” as you banged on the wall with your fist. You were angry at yourself. It pissed you off that your day already started bad with being late and the situation you had moments ago with that classmate of yours. It even made you frustrated at yourself that you couldn’t find Tanaka to ask what he needed of you. 

So many thoughts have rushed to your head as you walked to a desk to sit down. You had stopped hitting your fists against the chalkboard though that quickly switched to punching your thighs since you didn’t know where else to contain your anger. It was also a safer option than to accidently commit something dangerous.

After dealing with your anger, you started to clean the classroom. It was better to finish the job quicker and faster so that you would head to practice to see everyone in action. Especially Tanaka since he did mention how he practiced his serves and spikes recently.

-

Cleaning the classroom took less time than you thought. When music was being played through your headphones, you escaped the reality of cleaning and thought of wonders to help the process go by faster. This helped you calm down, though your body was aching.

You put away the cleaning supplies and rushed towards the stairs to head to the changing room in order to switch your sweaty and stained uniform into gym attire instead. You searched through your bag for deodorant and applied twice on each pit in order to securely and safely say your pits didn’t smell.

“Oh hey Y/N-san!” Hinata had shouted and you smiled.

“Hey there!” you waved back and walked to the bench towards Kiyoko.

“Hi Y/N, what took you so long?”

“I got put into cleaning duty.”

“I’m sorry to put this on you again, but you’re on cleaning duty tonight with some of the boys.”

“It’s okay, I can handle it.”

“Are you sure? I can stay back and do it instead since you’ve already done cleaning yesterday.”

“No no, it’s fine. Besides you have to study for your test tomorrow, no?”

“You’re right, but if you’d like I can-”

“Kiyoko-san, you need as much time as possible to study and get good grades. I know you are academically smart, though you like to do well, and staying behind with these rowdy boys is not what you need at the moment.” as you took off your jacket.

“WOOHOO! LOOK AT MY BEST FRIEND!!!” Noya hollered and you laughed while shaking your head.

“See.” you looked at Kiyoko before walking onto the court. ”Alright boys! Let’s start practicing on your serves!”

-

“Thank you for today’s practice!” as the boys bowed down to Coach Ukai.

“You already know what time it is. Go clean up and get home safe. Make sure to eat a well balanced meal and get lots of sleep, you hear me?”

“Yes sir!” as they all scrammed to different areas of the gym. Kiyoko had already left beforehand since there was an emergency she had to attend. Yachi was picking up her things before leaving and you waited behind for all of them to slowly leave one by one.

“Have a good night, Daichi, Sugawara and Asahi san.” as you waved them off and gave them a small smile.

“Make sure Kageyama and Hinata don’t stay back too late.” Daichi instructed.

“Understood. Good night to you three.”

“Good night, Y/N!” Sugawara said patting your head. You nodded listening to Sugawara.

“Good night, and stay safe Y/N.” Asahi said sending you a shy smile and you nodded again.

“I very much will, now move along. You guys need to be home soon.” As you turned your attention back to the boys and went to go toss the balls to them.

-

You had just locked the equipment room after cleaning the gym. Everyone had left, including Hinata and Kageyama who had to get Daichi to yell at the two to head home. The others went to change and you assumed they went home. This left you alone in the gym and no supervision.

Your body shook as the exhaustion and frustration you felt from earlier today started showing. You started getting angry and began punching your thighs. You would have slammed a volleyball but you forgot to have one saved for yourself.

The punching started getting aggressively harder and faster. You didn’t keep track of your surroundings as you only paid attention of releasing your anger through punching yourself.

“Babe! What are you still doing here??? I thought you already left.” Tanaka yawned as he walked closer to you. No response.

“Baby?” Tanaka neared closer to you. He heard the sound of skin smacking.

“Y/N?” As Tanaka stood behind you and took a full look at you, but what caught his eyes was you throwing punches at your reddening thighs.

“WOAH, WOAH, WOAH!” Tanaka jumped and hurried to step in front of you. He put his hands on the side of your arms and you looked up with tears streaming down your cheeks. Your eyes shined under the lights since the tears were welding in your eyes.

“R-ryu?”

“Baby...” as his eyes filled with concern and he held your face in his hands.

“W-what are you still doing here? I thought you went home already.” as you wiped the tears away in a rush and covered your thighs with your arms.

“No, no, I was going to stay behind to walk you home... Why were you punching yourself?” as he gently looked at you up down and rubbed a hand on your pink thighs.

“It was my version of coping with my anger... I’m sorry.”

“Oh my poor princess.” Tanaka sat down on the bench and turned your head towards him. He gave you a kiss on your lips before kissing your forehead. “Do you want to tell me what caused this to happen?”

“It was just a bad morning. I was late and assigned myself stupid cleaning duty to make up for my tardiness. Then I got into a fight with a classmate and got a punishment. After that I was put in another cleaning duty and god I just am so tired.” as you sighed melting to Tanaka’s touch. Tanaka had brought your head to rest on his shoulder as he ran his fingers through your hair.

“It’s okay princess, you did so well today. I am so proud of you for passing the day and finishing it off with me. It’s okay to be angry, though it’s not okay to commit brutal punches to your poor stunning thighs.” As he rubbed a hand over your thigh and gripped it a bit.

“I’m sorry...”

“Don’t be sorry. It was your way of controlling anger, though let’s try finding a different way to contain your anger. How about we choose a different tactic? Like writing your anger away or watching me do stupid things with Noya.”

“I wanna see you act stupid with Noya. You guys make me so happy. Mainly you though.” as you put on a smile to thank Tanaka. Tanaka clenched his heart with an exaggerated expression.

“God your smile is so pretty. How did I get so lucky?” as Tanaka gave you another kiss on your lips.

“Stop- you’re making me blush.” as you hid your face in your hands and stood up to get ready to leave. Tanaka laughed before bringing your hand to his lips to place a small gentle kiss.

“Let’s get you home, hm? We should take care of those sexy thighs.” he winked giving your bum a little smack and you playfully punched him.

“Gosh, you’re so weird.” as you walked towards the doors with Tanaka clinging onto you.

“Whatever, princess. I guess I’m just crazy in love with you.” Tanaka giggled like a little kid.

“Oh jeez-” As you guys left the gym hand in hand and casually being a cheesy couple at night.

-

#tanaka x you #tanaka oneshot #tanaka fluff #tanaka angst #tanaka hcs #tanaka request #tanaka imagines #tanaka x reader #tanaka x y/n #tanaka ryuunosuke x reader #tanaka ryuunosuke #tanaka ryuunosuke fluff #tanaka ryuunosuke angst #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu requests #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu x you #haikyuu scenarios

[becca-e-barnes]

I love how you answer each ask so truthfully and even if this might be weird, I’d like to get something off of my chest. Hope that’s okay. I’m the same age as you but I’ve achieved nothing. I don’t really have a life, my mental health is shit enough to stop me from working/going to school & I’ve been trying what feels like everything but nothing really works let alone fast enough. I feel so stuck & to add to it I’m also a virgin which shouldn’t be bad but then I see you & others living the life

Totally not weird to want to get things off your chest! I’m absolutely fine with that!

But first off, please don’t think you need to compare yourself to me or anyone else! It can be so damaging to your mental health! Someone will always appear to be doing more than you but that doesn’t mean that you’re worth any less. I open LinkedIn or Facebook and see all these people excelling in areas of their lives that I feel I can’t even compete with! No matter what you do, someone will always look like they’re doing it better so I’ve been trying to stop comparing myself to them and I’ve started congratulating them! Their success doesn’t mean I’m failing!

And I think it’s really important to remember that you are not ‘behind’ in life because you’re not in school or working rn! There’s no time limit on these things. I had people in their 50’s on my undergrad course! I’m the youngest in my postgrad! Further or higher education is not exclusively for 18 year olds so if that’s the route you want to go down, that path will be open for you when your mental health has improved enough! The same goes for working life, jobs will still be available when you’re ready for one. The fact that you’re not able to do some of those things right now doesn’t mean those avenues are closed forever!

And honestly, I have to say, when it comes to sex, I’m absolutely not living the life, I haven’t had sex in forever 😂 and truthfully, if I had the choice between sex or my vibe fully charged, I wouldn’t even have to think about it. Sex can be great but if you’re not ready for it yet, there’s nothing wrong with that! Don’t rush yourself! But if you feel like you’re ready and the opportunity arises, fantastic! I just get a lot more fulfilment and satisfaction on my own these days

And I think it’s important to not let the Internet fool you either and I know I say this a lot but for so many people, their lives aren’t as ‘together’ as they appear to be online. I’m guilty of that myself! I’ll talk about the good things that are going on, like some praise I got at work or a good grade I got in an assignment but I rarely talk about low grades or burnout. So really, comparing yourself to anyone else is a terrible idea these days if you don’t see their entire life.

I hope some of this made sense, it really felt like a lil waffle from me but I really hope you find a way to work on your mental health! You’re incredibly strong and your best, whatever that may be on any given day, is good enough! Take care of yourself first, that’s what’s most important 💗

#asks answered <3 #anon #I try my best to hide the burnout #but really #that doesn’t help anyone #bc I do struggle with trying to do too much #and I pretend I don’t #people really aren’t built to do 60ish hours of work a week and then start studying afterwards #I have no social life unless I take a day off work #so if it ever looks like I’ve got my shit together #I can assure you it’s not true 😂 #big sister becca