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ladyvesuvia · 2 years

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⬶ navigation | main masterlist | hp masterlist

✿ — angst ; ❂ — fluff; ★ — popular; ☆ — personal fave

HEADCANONS + OTHERS

Road trip with Harry and he doesn’t like the song you’re listening to ❂

Harry getting you to try-out for Chaser ❂

You’re a fifth year transferee from Ilvermorny and the Golden Trio shows you around Hogwarts ❂

ONESHOTS

[take my breath away] ❂ — Harry Potter fancies you, and you happen to do, too. Just when you lose hope, he decides to step up his game (kinda).

[downtown train] ✿ — You and Harry cross paths again years after you were expelled from Hogwarts.

[the girl who didn’t] ❂✿ — As a ghost in Hogwarts, you become friends with The Boy Who Lived.

[out of my league] ❂★ — Harry thinks you’re too perfect for him.

[a little bit of rain] ✿ — And, with the wish of removing himself from her mind and every pain she carried with her, he raised his wand and said an incantation he despised — “Obliviate.”

[this town] ❂✿☆— Harry visits Little Whinging in his mid-twenties to reminisce the days before Hogwarts.

[we’ll meet again] ❂ — (Fluff prequel to This Town) On her birthday, she decides that the best way to celebrate is to dance under the moonlight with him.

[self-service] ❂ — When her card gets stuck in the machine, she finds that she couldn’t pull it out what with her long press-on nails. Luckily, there’s someone there to save the day.

[butterbeer-ish] ❂ — In the hot weather of summer, Harry stops by the reader’s coffee shop.

[hush] ❂ — You meet Harry with the strangest combination of setting: an Invisibility Cloak, Peanut Butter M&Ms, and the eerie aura of Borgin and Burkes.

[rivers and roads] ✿ — It’s been long since a certain student turned up to Hogwarts. Although everyone has forgotten, he hasn’t.

[dreamy eyes] ❂ — Teaching Harry how to dance as an epiphany follows not so far behind.

[soft love] ❂ — Moving into your new house with Harry.

[with stranger] ❂ — Being stuck in the elevator is bad enough, but being with a stranger makes matters worse.

[sink to the bottom] ❂ — Being there for Harry after Umbridge sends him to detention.

[letdown countdown] ✿☆ — When loving becomes tiring.

#ves.masterlist #ves.writes #ves.writes harry potter #harry potter #harry james potter #harry potter x reader #harry potter angst #harry potter x reader angst

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ladyvesuvia · 2 years

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farewell, says the hero.

PAIRING: Eddie Munson x GN!Reader

WORDS: 0.5k

SUMMARY: Eddie bids you goodbye with the company of his thoughts as you cradle him to a wakeless sleep. Told from Eddie’s point of view.

REMINDER(S): major character death. first person.

A/N: omg ok i’m sorry i’m just trying something really different !2!;₱₱4! ANW yay eddie

stranger things masterlist.

I’m sorry for a lot of things, really.

But mostly, I’m sorry for not being sorry earlier than now. I think I can see you a bit. Your stupid ass is running towards me and Dustin is in shambles. Which I get. I’m quite worth the tears, don’t you think? Bad time to goof around.

I like to think that as you fall down to your knees right beside Dustin, that we’re only roleplaying or something. You know, playing some other campaign game I refused to postpone for any longer. I’m no hero, [Y/N], but I’m glad I tried my best to keep you from being a martyr.

“Eddie,” you started, and I knew your throat was closing in on you the way it would like the time I let you take anything from my fridge only to get something you were allergic to. It happened one too many times, man. It was kind of on you. I want to tell you that, but they didn’t say that dying would keep you from talking to someone you love. “Eddie, you are not going to die. Stop that.”

Dustin inched away to let us have some . . . you know, our last little alone time. If you dig that. You flinched at my coughing. Fair enough, I’d have flinched too.

“How do I look?” I asked you. I want to look at you, really. The sky just looks less horrible now that the bats have left.

You laughed a bit, but I know better than to think you found it an ounce helpful. I’m sorry. For a lot of things. “Sh, save your strength, Eddie. We’ll get you out of here.” And you pulled me into your chest. Just why didn’t we do this more? You’re so comfortable. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind sleeping a hundred sleeps right here.

Yeah, that doesn’t make sense, I know. But neither does leaving you here. Or you seeing me leave myself. I’m so sorry. So, so, so, sorry.

“You — you didn’t answer the question,” I managed to say.

“You look heroic, brave. Like the knight in shining armor I’ve always dreamed about.”

I felt you wipe away the blood stains on my cheek with your shirt. I like it down here, actually. I can kind of hear your heart beating. It’s loud. Like, really loud. That’s good. Keep it beating.

“[Y/N], I lo—”

“I know, me too,” you choked out. “Me too.”

“Okay.”

There are a lot more things I want to say but naturally, when you’re dying, you can’t really just let out a long monologue. You can’t really plan ahead, either.

Sure, maybe if I were some rich boring old man on my deathbed, maybe I can. I like this better, though. Dustin’s here, you’re here.

I got to see you one last time. Which isn’t such a bad deal. I’m resting against you right now. Don’t feel so bad about letting me down and coming back home. You have some unfinished business.

Do some heroic deeds. Just don’t die, alright? Don’t be such a copycat. Just because I did, doesn’t mean you should, too. Trends are stupid. I love you.

Farewell, says the hero, your knight in a blood and sweat drenched shirt. The martyr bids you goodbye.

#ves.writes #ves.writes eddie munson #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson x gender neutral reader #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x reader angst #eddie munson headcanon #eddie munson headcanons #stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things season 4 #stranger things 4

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ladyvesuvia · 2 years

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⬶ navigation | main masterlist | hp masterlist

✿ — angst ; ❂ — fluff; ★ — popular; ☆ — personal fave

HEADCANONS + OTHER

—

ONESHOTS / SPLIT PART FICS

[try] ✿ - A loveless arranged marriage between two people who had not bothered to try to make it work in the first place.

[nuggets with gravy] ❂★ - Draco takes the reader out for a drive-thru in a Muggle fast food, but they did not prepare the reader’s order properly.

[bluer than blue] ✿ - Let them dirty my name, because I know how much you love yours.

[good 4 me] ❂✿ - A wedding card from a certain someone takes him back to when he was so sure he’d be the bride’s groom.

[no longer] ✿ - Moving on from Draco.

[you don’t know me] ✿❂☆ - Their love has a deadline, it just isn’t clear to both parties that it isn’t forever when the Potions Professor courts the Charms Professor, unbeknownst to him that she’s determined to be somewhere else.

[you think so?] ❂★ - The reader wakes up to Draco talking about her to his friends in that way.

[creepin’ cabin] ❂ - Halloween’s a thrill as Hogwarts introduces the Tri-Wizard Tournament and throws a horror house in to the mix instead of just a feast.

[music lunchbox thingy] ❂ - When the plan to throw a mini party in an effort to make friends with people of her own house goes awry, the least she expected to turn up happens to be the only guest she would have.

[bewizarding] ❂ - Studying for the O.W.L.s with Draco takes an unexpected turn.

[ceasefire] ❂☆ - How they went from each other’s bane of existence to idiots who couldn’t see what they mean to each other resorting to teasing back and forth long after putting an end to constant jinxing and hexing.

[all things sweet] ❂ - Young love and candy — the perfect combination to all things sweet.

#ves.masterlist #ves.writes #ves.writes draco malfoy #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x fem!reader #draco malfoy x reader angst #draco malfoy angst #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy headcanons

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ladyvesuvia · 2 years

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patching up peter parker and he confesses his love for u? :)

two confessions in one night.

PAIRING: Peter Parker x GN!Reader

WORDS: 0.8k

SUMMARY: When a wounded Peter pays you a much needed visit at three in the morning, two truths reveal itself.

A/N: had too much fun writing this so it got longer than intended i’m sorry HSNXBRJW

marvel masterlist.

A knock on your window awoke you.

“This better not be you, Peter. This better NOT be you,” you mumbled to yourself, half-hoping you were only dreaming.

Even more so when you hopped out of your bed only to be greeted by the very face you wished to imagine sleeping peacefully in his own bed stained by blood you weren’t sure about the source of.

“Peter!” you exclaimed, the drowsiness gone in an instant. You immediately went after your window, pulling it up open to let him climb in. “It’s three in the morning! What is wrong with you?”

“I’m — I am so sorry for interrupting you. It’s just that Ned wasn’t in town and MJ’s asleep because she has plans tomorrow and —”

“Are you seriously apologizing about ‘bothering’ me? You’re not, Peter. You’re never bothering me. Sit down. I’m gonna go get you . . .” You assessed his wounds. “Well, everything. I’ll get the kit.”

You came back a while later, carrying two plastic boxes and tossing it onto the bed right beside him. You pulled your desk chair, dragging it in front of Peter and taking your seat.

You got to work, opening the box and applying the appropriate treatments and grabbing the respectful bandages. You started cleaning his wounds first.

You could sense him staring, but you don’t say anything. He does, though. “Um, [Y/N]?”

You say nothing.

“[Y/N]? You’re — you’re not saying anything. You’re scaring me. Are you — are we okay?”

“I’m scaring you? You are literally decorated with a pattern of wounds right now, Peter. It’s so careless of you! What if you — I don’t know — get hit by a bus?”

He started laughing, and you wanted to shut him up so bad. “Well, you do know I can sense that, right? And I could stop it even if it does reach me?”

“What if you get . . .” You started thinking. “What if your identity was revealed and now everyone is hot on your tail? Then what?”

“Then it’s good to know you’d be there for me.”

You stared at each other for a good solid five seconds before you found yourself talking, or at least the closest thing to it: “Oh.”

“Sorry.”

“I mean, yeah, sure I would be there for you. And Ned and MJ, of course.”

“Yeah,” he agreed jokingly. “Ned — Ned and MJ, definitely.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you said, continuing on working on the scratches on his face. “I hate you, you know.”

Peter moved an inch, you had to steady his face with your other hand. “What? Why?”

“You keep getting into these deadly scenarios. One of these days, I’m gonna find you dead in a ditch. I don’t like that.”

“Well, I don’t wanna die yet,” he chuckled. “At least, not until I’ve. . .” He continued on, but the rest of what he said was mumbled.

“What?”

“I’ve told you that, well, you know.”

“I don’t,” you started, willing him to spit out what it is he seemed to have been keeping for a while now.

“Okay, okay,” he said, sighing as he pulled away from you. You could see him even clearer in this light. “Let’s just say that I — I practiced . . . this?”

“Okay? And? What did you practice?”

“[Y/N], I understand if you’d think this is weird because it is weird, right? I mean, for you, at least. Not me, though. I — I just think that maybe if I said this, you would never—”

“Spit it out, Peter Parker,” you said, crossing your arms at him.

“I like you,” he admitted, eyes hopeful once more.

“Oh,” you let out.

“That’s — that’s the second ‘Oh’ you have ‘Oh’d’ today.”

You had to laugh at that, and it was quite obvious he was just as pleased to see your eyes light up. “Well, now that you’ve said that, don’t be fine with dying still. Because then you wouldn’t be able to do anything with my feelings. God, I hate that word. But, well, yeah, you know. I do like you, too, if that much wasn’t clear.”

Silence for the next minute.

“You know,” you began, “when you showed up a couple minutes ago, I had hoped it wasn’t you.”

“You don’t — you don’t want me here?”

“Oh, I want you here, alright. Just not all bloody and in pain.”

“Then I’ll go through the front door next time. With flowers, perhaps?” he said with the sweetest smile possible. Or maybe that’s just how you saw all of his smiles — perfect.

“That would be great. And as Peter Parker, too, please. My family would post shit tons of pictures of Spider-Man on Facebook captioned with, ‘Our [Y/N]’ is dating FNSM!”

“FNSM?” he laughed both in confusion and disbelief.

“Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man. You get it. Anyway, I — I want them to like Peter Parker.”

“I want them to like Peter Parker, too.”

“They will.”

“How do you know that?” he asked.

And out came a new confession: “Well, for starters, I’ve already talked about you to them and I may or may not have shown them a picture of you. They, uh, said you were cute.”

“I am?” he asked, but you saw right through it.

“Alright, shut up. Yes, yes, you are.”

#ves.writes #ves.writes peter parker #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker fluff #peter parker oneshot #mcu #marvel #mcu x reader #marvel x reader #marvel cinematic universe #peter parker headcanons

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ladyvesuvia · 2 years

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heaven is a place on earth.

PAIRING: Robin Buckley x Fem!Reader

WORDS: 1.3k

SUMMARY: Hawkins is exhausting. It just so happens to be that a certain gal is your silver lining.

REMINDER(S): Set in Season 4. Subtle mention of a certain character not dying… because i’m mad at the duffers rn

stranger things masterlist.

Peace is oftentimes hard to find. Especially in Hawkins; the likelihood of having at least two nights without interruption from the bizarre happenings is incredibly low.

You thought this way for a long time. And it’s reasonable to feel that way when everyday, you’re dealing with — if not grotesque creatures — the consequences of every yesterday.

Oh, but with the girl working at Family Video? She might just be your antidote.

And you might just be hers.

Day by day, she awaits by her side of the counter, dealing with people she couldn’t care less about, only waiting for it to be lunch.

You’d often stop by around half past twelve, bringing with you two warm cups of coffee.

As usual, Steve would put his hands on his hips disapprovingly. “Seriously, [Y/N]? Note even an extra one for me? What’s a hot stuff gotta do around here to get a coffee?”

Robin would routinely roll her eyes just before jogging out of her station to press a kiss on your cheek when no one’s looking.

“Oh, I don’t know,” you’d tell Steve, sipping your coffee tauntingly at him. Robin would always do the same, even sipping it loudly. “Maybe you could start doing your job right?”

“I do do my job right,” he’d protest.

Of course, Robin would pick at him for anything he says and rightfully so. “Hah, do-do.”

“Do-do,” you’d say in playful agreement.

You know you could’ve gotten used to that. Heck, you have. But for now, this tiny break would do: folding donations with your beloved, making a peanut butter sandwich together while trying to make the situation as bearable as you could for each other.

“I thought I was gonna lose you,” you said, kind of mumbling between your words so bad you almost thought you only said it to yourself.

She wiped her sweat with her forearm, turning to you with the most reassuring smile you could ever possibly be greeted with.

“[Y/N], the only way you could lose me is if you ever made me wear Nancy’s old god forsaken clothes ever again.” Robin rolled her now loose sleeves up above her elbows, leaning on the table to get a better look at you. “They were so itchy and for what?”

“Well, what if it’s the only thing that could ever make me happy again?”

“Then suffer forever,” she said with a feigned grim look. She looked more adorable than threatening.

You playfully punched her elbow. “Aw, I’m kidding, I’d never do that to you.”

“Then will you ever give me a Best Girl badge like you promised?”

“Oh, right!” you exclaimed, recalling a comedic promise you made to your girlfriend:

“Thank you for getting me coffee everyday, I am SO happy to have you, a very gorgeous and smart lady in my life. Oh, no, I didn’t know you were listening, Steve,” she joked. “Say, you wouldn’t happen to have a very gorgeous and smart lady in your life, wouldn’t you?”

“Please never go to Hollywood,” said Steve. “I would rather have a walkman glued to my ears and listen to Tammy Thompson for fifteen hours than sell your movies.”

“Would you really?” Robin quipped, taking another sip from her coffee, louder this time.

Steve nodded. “Oh, I would really.”

You found yourself laughing, enjoying Robin and Steve’s company as usual.

Steve finished restocking one of the shelves, and when he returned, he announced, “Hold on, I gotta take a leak. Nature is calling!”

Robin set her coffee down, repulsed “Ew, we didn’t have to know that.”

“Just thought you two would love to know what else was going on from my life if not having a very gorgeous and smart lady. Alright, I’ll be right back.”

When Steve disappeared, you realized how empty Family Video was now that it was two hours from closing. To be fair, it was a Sunday morning.

Even though you were all used to your routine of visiting around lunch, you figured that morning that it wouldn’t hurt to try and visit your girl earlier than that.

Robin fidgeted with the badge on her vest. It had ‘ASK ME’ written on it. “Thanks for the — well, the — you know. The coffee. Like — I mean, sorry for not paying you back. I mean, yeah, I appreciate it a lot, but I kinda feel bad. Should I feel bad? No, right? I mean, maybe I should because — what am I even saying? I should shut up. I am so so—”

The best way to shut the mouth of a pretty girl?

Press yours onto hers until the tension in her shoulders dissolve and watch her bite her lip to try and keep herself from losing her mind even though she already has.

You rolled your eyes. She was indeed adorable, though. She still is. “Stop acting like that was your first time being kissed.”

“You’d be surprised at how much of an effect you have on me,” she confessed. “If you don’t know, it is HUMONGOUS. Huge. Very huge.”

“You deserve a ‘Pretty Girl’ badge just below your ‘Ask Me’ badge.”

“Then get me one,” she said, the smile still not leaving her sweet face.

“Alright, then.”

Robin blinked. “I was joking.”

“I wasn’t. You better wear it and never take it off once I give it to you.”

“No, you can’t do this to me.”

“Yes, I can.”

“Here you go, m’lady,” you say to her, holding out a neon green badge with ‘Prettiest Girl’ written on it. “I had it custom made. Cost me a fortune.”

She took it from your hand, inspecting it closely. “Lord, this is bright as hell. It hurts my eyes.”

“Like the way your beauty hurts me?” you jested.

“Okay, ew.”

“Here, let me put it on you,” you offered. She let you take the pin back to pin it on her blazer vest. You made sure to put it where the suspenders didn’t cover it. You pretended not to notice her melting. “See? It looks good.”

“Steve’s making fun of me.”

You followed her gaze to find Steve jokingly pointing at a spot on his chest, pointing at the spot where you pinned the badge on Robin.

Steve put his hands over his eyes, pretending to be blinded.

You leaned in close to Robin. “Who taught him how to fold clothes?”

“I did,” said Robin. “Any chance I wouldn’t get kicked out if I threw a sandwich at him?”

“Better if we save some for our freeloader.”

“Eddie will be fine,” Robin shrugged. “Plus, this food is for the people.”

“But it’s fine if you threw it at Steve?” you chuckled. “You know what? I want the badge back.”

“No, no, I love it! Eddie will be fine.” One of the staff glanced for a bit. “You know,” Robin added. “Your hamster Teddie. The — the, uh, the black and white one.”

When the woman left, you and Robin shared a knowing grin. “I’ll get him coffee later,” you decided.

“I thought only I got those perks?”

“Now you get an additional cookie.”

“I can settle for that,” she shrugged. Robin then kissed her two fingers, setting them on your hand. “You could settle with that for now, too.”

“You owe me more later,” you said with a brow raised.

She’d have felt bad, but she knew you deserved it. “I know I do.”

In Hawkins, there is only so little anyone could have for as long as they want in this damned town.

And for the both of you now, this is the best possible thing you could afford at the moment.

“Hawkins is hell,” headlines would say. And they’d be a hundred percent correct. But as you looked at Robin finish her task, it was a little less hell and a little more heaven.

#ves.writes #ves.writes robin buckley #robin buckley #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley fluff #robin buckley x reader fluff #robin buckley headcanons #stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things season 4 #stranger things x reader #st4 #maya hawke #robin buckley oneshot

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ladyvesuvia · 2 years

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⬶ navigation | main masterlist | marvel masterlist

✿ — angst ; ❂ — fluff; ★ — popular; ☆ — personal fave

HEADCANONS + OTHER

—

ONESHOTS

[that old feeling] ✿❂☆— Even decades later, where his eyes go, your face follows.

[somethings] ❂ — A staring contest on the rooftop leads to the two of you deciding to kiss on your birthday to find out if something is there.

[favorite mug] ❂★☆ — After your apartment room burns down, you’re left with no choice but to live with your neighbor for a while in his spare room. That is, until something comes up and temporary becomes permanent. In the midst of the situation, Bucky’s unwillingness to become friends wavers when you fall sick.

[where dust devils are made] ✿❂☆ — Being tasked to seduce the ex-Winter Soldier to add him into HYDRA’s recovering arsenal turns into a wreck when the fine line between mission and reality blurs as you begin seeing him as your beloved instead of your ticket out of doom.

[i lied] ✿ — He’d sworn that he’d become a better man and you had made a vow that you would stand beside him ‘til the day you died but alas, you had both grown to become liars.

#ves.masterlist #ves.writes #ves.writes bucky barnes #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes #marvel #mcu #mcu x reader #marvel x reader #marvel cinematic universe #bucky barnes oneshot #the winter soldier #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier angst #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff

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ladyvesuvia · 2 years

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peter parker angst where both peter and reader feel insecure about their relationship???

by nine

PAIRING: peter parker x gn!reader

WORDS: 1.6k

REMINDER(S): wrote this to get out of reading slump. kinda messy. not my best but wtvr anw relationship insecurities. angst no comfort no happy endings i hate happy endings boo hoo go cry about it jk i love my fluff lover babies

A/N: imagine any peter u want life is short be a delusional little bitch

It’s so easy to love a hero. Being with a masked one has its own charm; one being the constant feeling of gratitude and positive disbelief because, after all, you were loving the hero. And he loved you back. You.

But sometimes, the cons outweigh everything else where you’d sometimes find yourself sitting on a chair you forced yourself to carry from the small space you could call the dining room all the way out to your apartment balcony, waiting for a little figure somewhere in the distance swinging from one building to another.

The cake you ordered for yourself had started losing its spark that you took three spoonfuls before deciding your appetite had disappeared.

There was still no sign of the same masked ‘hero.’

“I’ll be there by nine,” he had told you yesterday.

About a couple minutes ago, just a few seconds before nine, you closed your eyes, hoping that when you opened it, a little jumpscare would bring back your appetite.

Nothing had happened. And it’s been quite some time now.

You checked your phone, hoping that maybe, just maybe, the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man could be a decent enough boyfriend to send a text.

You stood up from your chair, leaning on the railing and checking left and right, looking for any sign of him.

“I’ll be there, alright?” he had told you just the day before. He’d been on the railing you’re now leaning on, and you so badly had wanted to take the mask from his sweaty palms and rip it up. “I promise.”

“Do you really?” The sun was only starting to set yesterday during this exchange, and his smile looked a lot more promising in that light.

“I really,” he nodded aggressively. “Oh, I really, really, really really.”

“Nerd.”

“A nerd who makes promises.”

And here you are, waiting for him to fulfill that promise. You opened your phone, begrudgingly ringing his phone.

“Shitty promises,” you thought to yourself as you checked the time. 21:39.

Are you expecting anything? you asked yourself, slowly antagonizing your own motives and his. Expecting what? For him to press pause on screaming damsels and tell perpetrators to stop their crimes just so he could answer some random person’s phone call?

You ended the call before it could head straight to voicemail. What even was the point anymore? You moved away from the railing, pulling your chair along with you while staring at the other empty chair across the tiny patio table you’d also carried hours ago.

You had come back to pull the other chair you’d brought out for him, but he had just landed on the railing you had just been leaning on a second ago.

He had his mask off, but he still had it crumpled in his hand. You stared at him for a solid three seconds before deciding it wasn’t worth your time, yanking the chair away and carrying it with one hand while using the other to open the door.

“[Y/N]—”

“I can carry it just fine,” you said with no entertainment whatsoever.

“I know it’s late, I’m sorry, but I—”

You dropped the chair as gently as you could so as to not wake anyone. “Was saving the world, what else could it be?”

“I mean, it’s just the city. Sorry. I mean—”

You crossed your arms. “You said you’d be here by—”

Peter scratched his nose with the hand he was holding his mask with, adjusting his seat on your railing. “—Nine, I know. It’s just that—”

“Some cat got stuck up in a tree? Some— I don’t even know anymore! And frankly, I don’t even care. I just want you to be here when you say you will.”

“And I’m here,” he said, his brows furrowing. It’s so strange seeing his face to that thing where he’s at war with himself.

It was the one of the many things that got you all head over heels for him the first time you knew there was more to him than his charm. It had been so funny seeing him get all confused and agitated at the same time for a second in class and looking all genius the second he got the right answer.

“Yeah, like, an hour later. I just want to sleep right now, alright?”

“No, no, let’s celebrate your birthday.” Peter hopped off the railing, his hand on yours before taking the chair with him. He sat down on it, looking at you with those god forsaken terribly convincing eyes you just wanted to be convinced by.

“I don’t even get to hold your hand anymore,” you muttered under your breath. He heard that still.

Peter drew closer, looking up at you as he took your hands into his, and you could only feel the texture of his suit. It feels like a stranger’s.

You looked back at him. He’s waiting for you tk say something, and it took you a long time to realize you’d been waiting for yourself to say something, too.

You obliged. “Do you want to end things? You can just say so.”

“What? No! Why would you—? Do — er — do you?”

“I — it’s not that — it’s just that you say that you’re going to do this but then you don’t and then you say all of this is worth your time and yet you can’t even give me ten minutes—!”

His brows furrowed even more. “I am giving you—”

“No, let me finish,” you say with a louder voice than you had intended before realizing you hadn’t gathered enough words to continue on. You look everywhere else but his eyes. You weren’t gonna do that now.

He’s waiting, and he’s letting you talk. So talk, you told yourself.

You cleared your throat, looking up. “It’s just that” — you swallowed the lump in your throat, your pride staying up, threatening to burst — “you tell me all these . . . these great things and make all these hopeful promises but you’re . . . you’re Spider-Man, y-you know?”

“What do you mean?” The moment his bright demeanor dropped, you knew this wasn’t going to end well. Was this even him? Or is it some other Spider-Man? Some other Peter Parker, perhaps? You looked at him, taking a tiny glimpse to make sure.

It is him. Only that his eyes were shining, and not in the way you wanted it to. Yours were probably shining, too.

See, dating the masked hero of the city is great. Wonderful, even. Nobody knew, of course, but it was the tiny little secret that kept it alive. But it’s also the same one that would kill it.

You saw it coming. Heck, he probably saw it, too.

You took a deep breath.

He stood up. “Let’s just celebrate your birthday, [Y.N], okay?”

You pretend not to see him raising his hand only to put it down.

It was your turn to take a breather. You leaned against the railing, the hum of the busy city doing nothing to relieve you from any of this.

Do I read too much into everything you do? Do you think of anything I do at all? Do you want to end things? Are you just waiting for me to do it?

“No, I can’t— I can’t just get some cake and ‘celebrate’ with you right now, Spi— Peter.” Even his name feels like uncharted territory. You pretend not to have seen him flinch at the uncertainty. “Are we really cut out for this?”

You expected him to try and find his words, ask what it is you thought the two of you were not cut out for, or at least assure you that you were, and that he’d make it up next time.

Anything but “I don’t know.”

You should’ve been angered, you knew that. But you didn’t know, either. “Me too.”

Silence.

You didn’t even realize he was leaning on the railing right beside you, looking out at the city. The only light right now was the inconsistent pattern of condominium room lights open; at least, those not covered by thick linen curtains.

There were also the countless cars passing by, but you paid no mind to the city at this moment because this could be the last time you’d ever see his face again.

“I don’t think we are,” you managed to confess. He only nodded in answer, but there was constant bickering in his head. “I’d say I need more time to think but I . . . I’ve had quite a few to do so and maybe it’s better if we just. . .”

You waited for him to cut you off and disagree.

He didn’t.

He’s made up his mind, hasn’t he?

You took a deep breath once more. “It’s better if we just stay away from each other.”

“For a while?” Peter asked, hopeful.

“No.”

“Oh, I. . .” He looked away. “I’m sorry. Okay. That — that makes sense. I understand.” He didn’t.

You changed your mind. It was easy to love Peter Parker. But loving Spider-Man? Oh, what a tragedy it was. The sometimes reeked of always.

It was always waiting for something, and it was always more tiring than exhilarating. You so badly wanted to ask him why can’t things just go back to the way it was, cry into his chest and deliriously confess that you just wish that spider hadn’t done everybody else in the city a stupid favor and that you just wanted your Peter back.

But that would be too selfish, and so you waited.

“Do you want me to go?” Please tell me no, he thought as he said so.

No. “Yes.”

And just like that, the anonymous hero was gone and with him your best friend.