#when actually if she misses it it will literally be because she has zero ability to leave the house at the moment that she intends to

[gavisuntiedboot]

Just Pretend (Gavi x reader)

Part 8

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Epilogue

Warnings: ANGST! Idk if it's actually that angsty but I made myself sad. Very very brief mentions of kind of hurting yourself but not really? I actually can't remember what I wrote so if I miss something that needs a warning pls lmk

Word Count: 16.0k (fun fact: if you've read the whole series, you've read 105 pages single space)

A/N: y'all it's literally almost 1 am but I need to start this before I get crucified by the cult following I have created with this series. GIF credit @gavidaily

"You... are considering leaving Barca?"

Xavi looked at you with one brow raised. The same girl that had been fighting for her position at the club just 6 weeks prior was now thinking of quitting her job?

"You know Miss y/l/n, we are about to lose Antonio, and with how hard we push our players, we need to retain the largest amount of medical talent possible. You know that we think extremely highly of you and your ability, which is why you were selected specifically for this role. What can we do to make the job here at Barça more compelling than that of other clubs?”

You took a deep breath. You knew this question was coming. You had worked jobs and been in negotiations before. It would be a lot more expensive for them to hire someone new than to just give in to what they predicted would be a demanded increase in pay.

You looked at your lap, sighing with the weight of the feelings you had carried for God knows how long. It had sat on your subconscious, but was now bubbling to the surface, too powerful to be stopped. “Honestly, mister, I don’t think there’s anything that can be done.”

There’s a funny thing about women letting go. Some people call it the severance theory. Men are heavily guided by their emotions, contrary to popular belief. In a fit of rage they are capable of anything: screaming, blows - any number of crimes of passion. So when an extreme emotion overcomes them, be it sadness or anger or fear, they can end a relationship suddenly. Once they return to a base state of logic, that’s when the crawling back and groveling begins. Because they come to realize that her absence is a stronger pain than whatever drove him away. They exist in binary states: zeroes and ones. Either hatred or love. They don’t understand gradients or in-betweens. They don’t understand that there is another person who must also decide to return to the relationship.

Women on the other hand are much more resilient. It’s why we find the most gorgeous muses with the slimiest excuses for boyfriends. A woman will fall in love not with what she sees, but rather what she hears. What she is told. All the flowery, lovely promises about a glowning future, that’s what she clings to in the midst of a gray and bleak present. The soft whispers of “I love you” and “I don’t know how I would live without you” act as bandages, plugging the gaping wounds left by his actions. But her resolve slips the longer those promises go unfulfilled. The longer those holes go unfilled. She begins to see the truth of her situation, and realizes that the road she’s skipped down is a dead end. She imagines once again. She thinks of all the possible ways that he could change and be the man she wants. She searches for glimpses of it in his words, his movement, his aura. She does the silliest, most foolish thing a woman can do: she hopes. She holds on until not even her delusions can be a comfort. She realizes that there is no way for her to be happy with this man. That’s when she finally leaves. There’s no groveling, no tears, no remorse. It’s a clean severance of dead weight. She’s empty, and it lightens her being enough for her to walk away. There is no way to save it. The bridge has been burned and she was gone forever.

The funny part was, this didn’t just apply to men. That’s the thing about emptiness: it consumes everything. Loneliness is a black hole that swallows every ray of light that it encounters. That was your life recently. No light and no joy - not even sadness. You couldn’t feel anything strongly anymore. You picked up little habits to try and feel. You heated your food to scalding temperatures just to feel the heat on your lips. Your showers were icy, the pinpricks distracting you from the desire to cry. You no longer felt strong anger or desire or really anything. The color was slowly draining from your life, grays and sepias replacing the once vibrant existence around you. The beauty around you had mangled into gnarly trees and threatening uncertainty as you foolishly waited for the sun to peak through. But it had abandoned you. The sun had taken its rays and warmth elsewhere, almost mocking you as you shivered in the dirt. So maybe it was time to crate your own light: burn down the forest and start anew.

“Nothing? La, that can’t be true Doctora.”

Your eyes shot up at the title. There was, in fact, one feeling that you still sensed: pain. You could still feel physically pain, and inflicted it on yourself often just to experience an emotion. But nothing could compare to the sharp stabs and dull aches that lived in your heart. It was hard to look at Gavi without feeling like you wanted to fall on your knees. Realizing that you were in love was not beautiful or romantic. It was torturous, like snakes and thorns taking home in your throat. Reality was the salt in the wound; the knowledge that you two were destined to fail before you had began was a pill too big to swallow, suffocating you instead.

“If I can be honest, mister, I don’t feel like I belong here at Barça. I’ve been here for six months and I still don’t feel like part of the team. Maybe it’s just not a good environment or fit for me. That’s not something that can be fixed with just a salary increase. I just can’t tell if this is the place for me.”

Xavi looked at you, bringing his elbows to rest on the table and interlocking his fingers. He wanted to adamantly refuse, but there was truth to what you said. It was evident that there was a disconnect between you and the general environment of the team. You were close to some of the younger players, but had difficulty gaining the trust and respect of the older crowd and the medical staff. Your ideas for treatment were too modern - too far removed from what everyone else was used to. Hell, you were upsetting one of his players, and that was the opposite of your job as the support staff. But he would by lying if he said you weren't effective. The plan for Dembele that you had first presented got the striker back on the field weeks earlier than any other predictions. Your diligent maintenance had prevented players from getting injured as often, keeping the ones you were closest to on a strict exercise regimen, ensuring their continuous improvement. He cared for his players and his club. And if you were the miracle cure to keeping them healthy and playing, then he was going to keep you there, even if he had to tie you to the columns of Camp Nou.

"There must be something we can do to keep you. You're very familiar with the players and the equipment, as well as the workflow, and you're very good at your work. Hell, Gavi hasn't even had a cough since you started here, and he's quite accident-prone. Please let me know what I can possibly do to keep you with us."

"I really am not being shy or sneaky. I really have no demands. When then team heads to the UK for the game against Man U, I will visit the Chelsea facility and meet the staff. If I like what I see, I'll be moving there. I'm just... not happy here anymore."

There it was. The confession you had not even made to yourself. You were at the club of your dreams, living everything that your younger self had always wanted, and you just could not be happy. This was a disappointment that was hard to describe. Everyone always talks about shooting for the moon, but no one talks about what happens when you actually make it there. You work hard and your dreams become a reality: you're on the moon! But the moon is so, so far from Earth. And when you're cold and lonely and looking down on all of the people that could be loving you, then the moon doesn't seem so worth it anymore. When you realize the moon is just a rock, then what hope do you have left?

Thinking back, you recalled all the people that you pushed away to further your career goals. You think of the family gatherings and events that you missed to study and work. You think of all the friends you have lost touch with because they were never a priority. They were never smart or driven enough to keep up with you, and so they were left in the dust. You had a few, but none you could confidently say would pick up a call from you at 2am if you needed help. Boyfriends were even worse. Since your heartbreak in college, men had fallen to the wayside. You justified it to yourself, saying that you just needed to be successful, and you would attract someone at your level. Someone who wanted an equal. But here you were: alone, depressed, and thinking of running away from what you once thought was your life's purpose.

Before Xavi could respond, a loud thud from the hallway distracted the two of you, followed by shouts that chilled your blood.

"Gavi!"

You were out of your seat in seconds. There was no force that could stop you, feet and hands moving on their own accord as you entered the hall and laid eyes on the body on the floor. There was no air in your lungs or your larynx to make a sound, let alone scream.

Why was Gavi on the floor?

Your hearing was shot, like you were underwater. The faces of those surrounding were panicked, and all eyes were on you, shouts and points and calls for action flying straight over your head.

Why was Gavi on the floor?

Your stomach was twisting itself into elaborate knots, coiling tighter while pushing the bile further up your throat. Your eyes went in and out of focus, willing the scene in front of you to disappear. You blinked hard hoping for the image to change when your eyes opened again.

Why was Gavi on the floor?

"Doctora, please look at Pablo - he collapsed suddenly and we need to make sure he doesn't have a head injury. Move!" It was Antonio's hands on your shoulders and shouts that finally got you to move from your frozen position.

Kneeling over, Gavi looked even worse. His skin was pale, and he was crumpled like an aluminum can - limbs everywhere, like his life force had just abandoned him. You had to remove Gavi from the situation and pretend he was a practice dummy at school. You had to pretend he was plastic and rubber, because that's the only way you could go through head injury protocols with a calm mind. He couldn't be Pablo, because if he was, then the thought would have to fester in your head: Pablo was hurt when you had been distant. He was hurt because you had been distant. Worst case scenario, he could disappear from your life now, all because you hadn't been able to handle the proximity like a normal person. Your thoughts were spiraling now, painting scenarios of death and disease and making it even harder for you to stop the tremble in your hands.

But you had decided that his cold heap of flesh before you wasn't Gavi. It couldn't be. It wasn't even a person. You recited the head injury checklist under your breath: consciousness, breathing, vision, vomiting. Placing a hand on Gavi's neck, you felt a pulse, stopping you from performing CPR. The last thing you needed to do was unnecessarily crack a rib. You shook him several times, and received no response.

"Shine a light in his eyes!" "Shake him harder!" "Should we pour water on him? Get some water!" "You're not yelling his name loudly enough!"

You ignored the shouts of the peanut gallery, repeating the list like a mantra in your head. You would have time later to be angry at the staff for their utter uselessness in the situation, but right now, you just needed to keep going. Blood was pounding in your ears as you opened one of his eyelids. Consciousness, breathing, vision, vomiting. It snapped back into place, and Pablo's face was now in view. Other than his pale complexion, he looked perfectly at peace. His face was identical to the night you had spent sleeping next to him - sleeping atop him. His breathing was deep, as if he had spontaneously fallen asleep in the middle of the hallway. He was beautiful. And for the first time in days, it had allowed you to be filled with a warmth somewhat foreign to you now. Pablo was in your arms and beautiful, and you could not imagine how you were meant to go on with life seeing him every day and being denied this privilege. You didn't allow yourself to dwell on the thought. Breathing? Yes. Consciousness? No. That needed to be remedied.

"Pablo, if you can wake up now, it would be really helpful. Otherwise I'm going to have to cause you a lot of pain."

You waited for a response, but none came. You sighed deeply, moving your hands from the supple skin of his cheeks downwards, gripping the hem of his shirt and pulling it upwards, exposing the expanse of his chest. You made out the sounds of taunting and whistles, but they were promptly silenced by staff who reminded the crowd that this was not an appropriate moment for jokes. Forming a fist, you placed your knuckles on the center of Pablo's chest, pushing down and rubbing. Hard. His eyes shot open within seconds, and he threw your hand off, howling in pain. His breathing was shallow and panicked, vision erratic as teammates, coaches, and other staff all yelled questions and instructions at him.

"Everybody shut up! Let me do my job."

That was the voice he needed to hear. As the yells settled to murmurs, his breathing slowed and he began to see more clearly. His eyes fully focused on you, and it soothed the ache in his chest. His heart was racing faster than he had ever felt, causing Pablo to grab onto your shoulders to ground himself.

"Pablo, can you hear me?"

You were here. You were real. He could still hold you and feel you. He nodded slowly, not trusting himself to speak. The nausea that he had felt before he blacked out still lingered, and the last thing he wanted to do was projectile vomit on you. He flinched slightly at the feeling of your hand returning to his face, but settled quickly, listening hard to your instructions. There was nothing easier than focusing on the sound of your voice.

"Look at me." You said, shining a light in Gavi's eyes, checking for any hemorrhaging or internal bleeding. What a silly request, he thought to himself, squinting under the brightness. How could he look anywhere else when you were in the room? How could he ever tear his eyes from you? How could he waste a single second of you before him, especially with the prospect of you leaving at the end of the month looming?

"No bleeding. Are you experiencing any double vision?"

A headshake no. You instructed someone behind you to grab a bottle of water, and then turned back to Pablo.

"Good. What is your name?"

Gavi swallowed thickly, and took a deep breath before speaking. "My name is Pablo Gavi."

"Good. And who am I?"

"Ah don't worry, Doctora. Even with amnesia, I could never forget you." There was that stabbing feeling in your chest again. That feeling that accompanied Pablo's sweet words and kind eyes. The cold shard of reality that reminded you that he would fade away into an Instagram mutual in a matter of months.

"Alright, Gavi. No internal bleeding and no memory loss. We need to go through more of the concussion protocols and make sure you're okay, but we can do this in my office. Are you okay to stand?"

After a curt nod, you helped Pablo stand, and began walking with him towards your office. You informed Xavi of the next steps, and he told you to do whatever necessary to make sure his 'golden angry bird' was okay. But of course, you could never know a day of peace, as each one must be filled with the noise pollution that was Ferran's voice.

"If the door isn't open, just know that Pablito isn't moaning in pain." A round of snickers was heard from both players and staff. But before they had time to add on to the nasty comment, you swiveled around to face the group. You were seething with anger, and one very important realization came to the center of your mind.

You had nothing left to lose.

It was Pablo Torre who was closest to you, and he was the person that received the start of your wrath.

"What the hell are you laughing at? The fact that your teammate could have serious head trauma? Or at the fact that, with Gavi potentially out of commission, they might take you off the bench long enough for you to remember what grass feels like?"

He was silent instantly, eyes wide. He had never received words this harsh from anyone at the club. Or anyone not on Twitter. You turned to two more assistant physios, Luca and Gabriel, who stood next to him, still muttering to one another in hushed tones.

"And you two! Do you want to know why everyone has to rush and get me whenever someone hits their head? Because out of everyone here, I'm the only one that knows proper concussion protocols and how to identify trauma. I have more medical knowledge in my fingernail than in both of your heads combined. I have to take him to my office because you two are incompetent at your jobs! And instead of doing anything useful, this is how you occupy your time: slacking, cigarette breaks, speculating who I'm sleeping with, and doing absolutely jack shit when a player gets injured. So keep giggling like school girls. I can't wait to see you both giggling on the street corner while begging for spare change."

You held Gavi harshly, storming off to your office. Your speed and the bounce was making him nauseous, but he knew better than to speak in this moment. His chest had swelled with pride. He was patiently waiting for the day that you would put the guys in their place. None of them were bad people - it had just been a while since most of them interacted with a woman they didn't want to sleep with. Gavi loved that you were capable of defending yourself, but could not ignore the part of him that wanted to be the one to defend you.

Call it a toxic trait if you want, but Pablo had always taken pride in his ability to intimidate. He had eventually come to terms with the fact that he was done growing at a sweet 5'7, despite his desire to break at least 5'9 (because his friend Hanna at La Masia told him that was the shortest a girl would go for. Looking back, taking this information from a 5'10 female footballer was probably not the best idea he's ever had). It had taken a while, but after weeks of daily affirmations in the mirror about how short Messi was, he held his chin higher. Once he started receiving praise from fellow players, coaches, and media, Pablo gained more confidence in the fact that he could be part of the next generation of great Barcelona football. This allowed him to go up against any player with no worries or fear, winning headers against people with a foot of height on him. Pablo began building his upper body in the gym as well, compensating with strength. A broad and reckless teenager, there was almost no one he wasn't ready to take on.

He sensed that same quality in you as well: a desire to prove yourself, no matter the cost. But he didn't want you to. He never wanted to see you scowl or have to hear you yell (despite it being semi-hot). Pablo wanted to be your knight, whose sole purpose in life was making sure that you never experienced feelings but joy and pleasure. He wanted others to go through him before daring to speak to you. Because how could every person just have access to the beauty that is you? To the radiant soul and shimmering aura that fills the room? How could he be content with you shouldering the burdens of living in this world? Even if he never got to have you romantically, Pablo wanted to shield you from every harm in the world. And not a day went by when he didn't feel it.

This was one of those moments. He wished he was able to verbally berate Ferran for the garbage he spewed on a regular basis, but he could do nothing except let himself be dragged by you through the halls of the sports center until they reached your office, where he was promptly flung towards the exam table. He watched as you brought him your small office trash can, setting it beside the bed. He was brought back to your first month at Barca, when he had challenged you and been proven wrong. There was a confidence in yourself and your abilities that had dissipated from then to now. Pablo smiled stupidly as he remembered the excruciating pain and discomfort of trying not to throw up in front of the pretty physio. If only he had known then that it was nothing compared to the pain of holding back these feelings.

"Lay down on the bed. Look up at the ceiling. If you need to vomit, do it in there." You instructed curtly before moving to sit at your computer. Short nails clicked harshly against the raised keyboard, keys slamming down rapidly, sound reverberating around the room. Gavi wanted so desperately to flip over, lay on his stomach and stare at you. Just to see the curves of your face and the way your eyes reflected the light. But he looked up at the ceiling like you asked, more worried about pushing you further away than watching you type. He took several deep breaths. This didn’t feel like the last time he was concussed. Last time, he had felt his brain rattle against his skull, waves of nausea starting immediately. His head ad throbbed, spots forming on his vision. His jaw was clenched, and he could’ve sworn there was a crack down the center of his cranium, blood oozing out of it onto the practice pitch.

He remembered that day so vividly despite the head trauma. He had been livid, Ferran dragging him to a new and inexperienced physio. Gavi had interpreted it as sabotage to that Ferran could get the left wing back. And then he saw you. Angry that he was he wasn’t receiving treatment by the best, he couldn’t say he was upset to look at you. You were a stunning kind of beauty, young and lively and clad in cool gray scrubs. But you were three years older than him, wildly advanced and talented, and he couldn’t swallow his pride - especially not with this nausea. He could not swallow the fact that you looked so damn familiar. He had seen you somewhere before: those eyes had looked at him with that same distress and concern. But he could not place it for the life of him.

Pablo thought back to how sweet you had been to him that day. How you had encouraged him to take pride in himself and be confident in the fact that he deserved all the success he had seen. He was so overwhelmed that day. His brain was absolute porridge, and he was doing his best for it not to pour out of his ears, all while his cheeks burned under your gaze. He was too preoccupied by his desire to muster one ounce of hatred to replace the overwhelming admiration in his brain that he could not determine where the hell he had seen you before.

And now here he was, once again staring at the ceiling, head throbbing, and the thought came to him again: why did you look familiar? Despite having known you for half a year now, the feeling that there was history had not left him. It wasn't that you had a common face. There was something about the way you looked at him, with a knowing and sadness, that touched a part of his soul. Like you knew things he had never even admitted to himself. While he thought that was just your way of being, he was coming to realize that look was one reserved specifically for Pablo. Now he wasn't nauseous, and focused on the rhythmic sounds of keys being slammed. He poised himself to ask a question, but not the one gnawing at his brain.

"What're you typing so excitedly? Hopefully not your resignation."

You looked up in time to watch Pablo's chest heave with the breathy (and very fake) laugh that he forced out. Your fingers rested against the keyboard, pausing your aggressive typing. How did Gavi know about your plans to leave? Had he been listening at the door? How long had he been standing there before-

"Is that why you fainted in the hallway? Because I'm leaving the club?"

"So you've already decided that you're leaving? You aren't even going to wait until you see whatever shithole you've been offered a spot at?"

There was an emotion that made Gavi's voice wobble, and you couldn't pin it exactly, but it sounded akin to betrayal. You finished the last sentence of your email, the swooshing sound indicating the message had been sent. Pablo bit his lip and stared hard at the fluorescent light. He didn't want you to see the distress in his face, but he couldn't help it. He hated how the dynamic between the two of you had been so warm, so close to the spark he desperately sought, just to go back to how icy your interactions began.

You pulled up a stool to sit next to him, and grabbed a pair of gloves as you approached. You noticed the slight quiver of his lip, and turned away to put your gloves on. The deep sadness in his eyes, the way his body tensed, the voice like a hurt child - was this all because of you?

"I was doing what I should've done my first week working here: I sent an email to HR about Ferran's nasty comments. Barca can't have a sexual harassment scandal right about now, especially not during the transfer window. And if they fire me, then they..." Your voice trailed off, throat closing up. It was still hard for you to process the possibility.

"If they fire me, then that's one less decision that I have to make."

You ran a gloved hand across his crown, feeling for any bumps or lacerations because of his fall. You felt worse the longer you continued the exam, the feeling that this was your fault sinking in. You had pushed Pablo away wordlessly after brining him in so close. But the majority of your brain screamed back at you how selfish it would be to drag Pablo into your black hole, ruining his career so that he could run after a girl who didn't even feel. If the sun in its greatness could not warm you, then how could ask this of Pablo?

"Now we need to talk about your fall in the hallway. It's quite obvious that you fainted but-"

"Were ever going to tell me? Or were you just going to freeze me out until you left the country?"

Gavi propped himself up on his elbows, eyes meeting you directly. You didn't know what to say. You couldn't tell him how you felt, especially not now. Not right before you disappeared.

"Have you ever fainted like that before? What have you eaten to day?" You asked, moving to throw away your gloves. "If you're having frequent spells of losing consciousness, then we need to have your blood iron tes-"

"Are you being serious right now, y/n? You're on the verge of quitting your dream job, packing up and leaving the country, and isolating yourself from everyone who cares about you, and you're asking about my blood iron? No."

Pablo stood, getting off the table faster than someone with a head injury should. He walked towards you, anger evident.

"No. You don't get to change the subject and talk about my iron. Or sit and try and diagnose me with anything. You know that I'm perfectly healthy. Want to know why I fainted? I'll tell you, Doctora."

Gavi was right in front of your face now, heavy breath fanning against your skin. You swallowed thickly, breathing just as heavy as you met his blazing stare. For the first time in weeks, your eyes started to moisten. Why was this scolding from Pablo going to bring you to tears?

"Because from the moment I laid eyes on you, I felt like I knew you. I don't know if I saw you on the street or in a dream, but a part of my brain recognized you, and since then I've been in pain. Pain that you can't even help me with. Nobody can. It's so hard to watch everyone take advantage of you all the fucking time. It tears me apart constantly. But it let me get closer to you. You let me get closer. And I tried so hard to keep it at bay, to be the friend that you need."

Pablo was now cupping your face, holding it like it was the only thing that would tether him to the earth. He rested his head against yours, and suddenly it was too much. All the feelings that had escaped you for so long were coming back all at once, stacking on top of each other and smothering you. Your eyes welled with tears, and you wished the ground would swallow you whole to escape Gavi's piercing eyes looking straight through you.

"But you have to know that I don't just see you as a friend, Doctora. You have to know, even if you don't feel the same way, that I am -"

"We met before I got my job here. That's why you recognize me."

Gavi let go of your face, taking a step back. He looked at you with confusion and hurt. You both knew what he was about to say, and he couldn't understand why you wouldn't just let him get it off his chest. And as selfish as it was, you just couldn't take it. Pablo deserved better - someone that would lift him up, not hold him back. And if he said it, if it was out in the open, then you would never be able to put his needs first.

"The week of my interview, I went to pick up Angelika from the club. Angel went to get her from the VIP section and he left me in charge of keeping an eye on you."

"You... were watching me while I was drunk?" Pablo's brain was processing a thousand things at once. You had met him and remembered him? What had he said while drunk to make you hide that fact from him?

"Why didn't you say anything before?"

There were so many ways to answer this question that you didn't know where to begin. How could you explain to Gavi that you had been so captured by his beauty that night that it had thrown you off your axis, making you wonder if you had died and this was the angel sent to guide you to the pearly gates? How could you describe the intense pull Pablo had over you, tugging at your soul, urging you to stay with him? How were you to say the way your heart broke on his behalf, wanting to hold him in your arms and protect him from everything that made him feel less than the most special person alive? All you had wanted was to kiss him, to pull him in, to never let him go. But none of the words materialized. Because to you, the cruelest thing you could do to Pablo was keep pulling him into you. He was pure light, and you couldn't bear the burden of being the one to extinguish it.

"It was an insignificant moment in a club. Nothing worth mentioning. I didn't even remember until Pedri reminded me when I started."

There it was. The sentence that made Gavi crack. You watched the hurt seep into his features, and a heavy air filled the room. Brows coming together, he looked at you expectantly, waiting, praying, that you would take it back.

"Meeting me was ... insignificant?"

Eyes locked, there was nothing you could say that would erase this moment. You swallowed the lump in your throat, playing with your fingers. You spun the ring you wore around your finger, trying to occupy your mind with anything other than the thought that you were the human embodiment of garbage.

The silence remained, growing thicker with each passing second. It enveloped the both of you, tendrils wrapping around and ripping the two of you apart, fraying whatever string of fate had brought you together.

"You think it was just a coincidence, meeting me in the club weeks before we become coworkers? Friends? Something... beyond that...and you think that coincidence was so forgettable that it wasn't even worth mentioning?"

There it was. The cold front that you put up, the one that pushed everyone away, no matter how hot their love for you burned. You were the ice princess, destined to go through life cold and untouchable and alone.

"Some people you just meet, Pablo. It doesn't mean they're meant to be together. I needed to get my friend out of the club and I just ran into Angel. He left me in charge of you so that you wouldn't do anything stupid or childish while drunk. I was in a club babysitting an 18 year old kid who was pouring his heart out to me while wasted. I didn't say anything to save you from the embarrassment."

That was the straw that broke Gavi's heart. He stormed towards the door, unable to look at you any longer. Had he really been lead on; allowed to believe that you were his friend, or at the least respected him, when this entire time you just saw him as a little kid. His last line to you was spoken so softly you almost didn't hear it over the deafening slam of the door.

"They're going to love you in England."

~

"Your English is very good for someone educated in Spain."

You looked up at Steve, flashing a practiced professional smile that showed no indication of offense at the objectively offensive statement.

"Thank you, Dr. Hughes. I did complete my baccalaureate degree in the United States, but I'm glad the last two years in Barcelona have not damaged my language."

Now it was his turn to laugh uncomfortably as he lead you through the garish blue halls of Stamford bridge. The entire plane ride you had told yourself that this could be the fresh start you needed. This could be the opportunity to turn your life around, and so you should approach it with fresh eyes and an open mind. But the walls were hurting your eyes, the blue and white making you think of Martin in his kit. You were lead into the trophy room, which was a lot smaller than you were used to.

"Here you can see some of the club's shining moments. We have had an... interesting season this year, but you know that performance fluctuates between seasons. We hope to be back on top again very soon, especially with an entirely new medical team coming on board."

You scanned the shelves and glass cases, admiring the look of trophies you were familiar with, and ones you had never seen before.

"An entire new medical staff? No one is staying on?" You asked, confused. What kind of club replaced everyone all at the same time? Usually at least one person remained to pass the torch, to maintain familiarity. It set warning bells off in your head.

“Ah, well, many of our staff members were quite loyal to Dr. Henry, you know he was here for 17 years after all. So they all followed him out. But we are excited to usher in a new wave of sparkling young medical talent!”

You swallowed hard, still feeling from the information. You still hadn’t finished your degree, and yet you were being offered a head position at what was supposed to be a huge and well-respected club. You couldn’t help but think of the blaugrana.

Something flitted in your chest, a feeling that surrounded you whenever you walked into the camp. The feeling of family, like you were home. The coldness of Steve’s answer didn’t spark anything close to that feeling. Not every workplace needed to be a part of your heart, a new family. These days. You had no idea what your family was supposed to be, or if you had one at all. Your brain begged you to ask what the environment was like, how close the staff was, what created such a high level of loyalty that they would all follow this man wherever he went, abandoning club and home. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do it, asking instead,

“Do you only display the most recent. Champions League trophy?”

More laughter from Steve, but of the fakest nature. “Yes we have one on this side, one on the other. They’re … ehem, all of our UCL trophies are displayed here.” Your cheeks warmed with subtle embarrassment. You knew nothing about this room or this club, and if you were honest with yourself, you had no desire to. You missed Barca. But you had to give this club its chance – an honest shot to be your new home.

The two of you continued through the halls as Steve showed you all the medical equipment and facilities that would be at your disposal should you accept. At the end, he led you to the players’ lounge, offering you a seat. The blue had given you a baby migraine, and you were incredibly grateful for the ability to sit and rest. You refused the gracious offers for food, sipping on a bottle of water to dull the throbbing against your skull. You searched the room for something, something familiar – a face, a number, to make you feel like everything was going to work out in the end. But it never appeared, the bright colors and foreign faces more of a discomfort than anything else.

"Make yourself comfortable, Doctor. Let me get some of the players that you'll be working with, and you can hear from them what the environment is like."

You nodded sweetly, sitting up straight with ankles crossed in the way Princess Diaries taught you to. As the footsteps faded slowly into the distance, a sigh passed between your lips. What were you doing? Despite the lecture given to yourself on the uncomfortable plane ride over (Chelsea would only pay for economy), it had all gone out the window. Your gut was in knots, and you couldn't shake the feeling that you were doing something wrong.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, and the screen lit up in your hand to read "One Football: FC Barcelona vs Manchester United - Starting lineup now available." The notification had been pressed before you registered what was going on. Your eyes scanned the list just to land on one name. Your mind went back to the last conversation the two of you shared. The most venomous words had slipped past your lips, and you had finally done it: you pushed the last person who cared for you away. The sentiment was harsh. How could anyone ever recover a relationship after shattering it so completely? Despite how much much it hurt to grip the broken shards so tightly, you held on nonetheless, packing Gavi's hoodie in your bag, the '6' embroidered into the pocket cutting open a gaping wound in your heart, and yet you enjoyed its presence there.

"Doctora, I'm pleased to introduce Kepa and Christian. They have been with the club for a while, and they would be happy to answer all your questions."

~

"A scoreless first half here at Old Trafford as both Barcelona and Man U return to the locker rooms for half time. As we saw Pedri went down in those final minutes of the half, and we've received a report that he is out for the rest of the match. His injury status is unknown, but if the magician is out of commission, this could be a very easy steal for United."

The sounds of fists slamming against lockers was loud enough to be heard all the way home in Spain. Pedri Potter, the star, the leader of Barca's new era, was now in icing his right hamstring in some medical examination room, while the rest of the team scrambled to figure out a scenario in which they would win without him in a mere 15 minutes. Gavi bounced his leg anxiously, eager to see his friend and make sure he was okay.

"Listen up boys. We can win this game without Pedri. The score is now 1-0 to Man U, and all we need to do it score once to tie. Then we are back home, our turf and our fans. Robert, Rapha, your goal is to put the ball in the net. I don't care what you have to do. The middle, you need to get the ball in a good position for these two. That means Gavi, you'll be- Gavi pay attention!"

Head snapping up, Pablo's eyes met Xavi's directly. He knew he should be paying attention - this was the first of several games that needed to be won until they reached a trophy. He needed to be on his A-game, and yet, his mind was drifting. He wished it was just concern over Pedri capturing his attention. But in the corners of his mind, your voice lingered. "Babysitting... insignificant... embarrassment." All words you had used when talking about him as he was on the verge of pouring his entire soul out onto the linoleum for you. He didn't understand the anger that flowed through him. It was a sense of ... incompleteness. If you had let him finish, let him say the words that he didn't fully understand, then he would have been okay. He would have watched as you kicked his beating heart against the wall, telling him that you could never feel that way towards him. He would have been okay: relieved. But you had left him dangling off the edge of a cliff, with no relief in being pulled to safety nor mercy in being allowed to fall.

Xavi gave his instructions to the midfield and the defensive line, going over the weak points that needed to be addressed.

"Pedri is most likely out for the next eight weeks, missing both the next match and the SuperCopa, so this is your opportunity to adjust to playing in high-stress situations without him."

Gavi's head raised fully at this. Eight weeks? It has been forever since someone was out for that long. Since the beginning of the season... since you had joined the team. A pinch in Pablo's chest. His brain repeated over and over that the best thing to do was let you go. To let you be your own person, grow and be independent, saving himself the heartache because the one girl he wanted was the one he couldn't have. Yet his heart held on with an iron grip. It refused to release you, reminding him of every sweet moment shared in cars and offices and bedrooms. It was quick to forget the pain of being perceived as a child. Pablo's heart begged him to wait for you, because it was incapable of letting go of a devotion so intense. His heart ached for you, longing for the day he be deemed worthy enough to love you wholly and completely.

"Eight weeks is insane - we have never gone that long with our midfield handicapped. Is there no way to speed up recovery? Who gave the estimate?" Robert asked, wiping the sweat off his brow.

"Luca is the only one from the medical staff who is here right now. He is the one who made the determination. Of course, the rest of the staff will be free to reevaluate when we return home. But Luca will be the one continuing with the course of treatment, and so we will go with his estimate."

"What? Where is y/n?" The question came from Alejandro, followed by hushed agreement. Even if you were not the first point of contact for all the players, you were a team staple, becoming as familiar to them as the crest embroidered on their uniforms. The older players had watched as you performed medical miracles on their teammates that rivaled what Jesus did for the blind, allowing the team to prosper all season. 15 points at the top of the table, and at least half had your name on them. The youngers had felt your impact directly, following your instructions like gospel. They knew how much care you showed to every single one of them, from the starters to the bench warmers. Your hands had put them back together. A touch of you lingered in all the success achieved, and your absence felt closer to abandonment than anything else.

"You should ask Pablito - he would be the first one to notice that his girlfriend wasn't on the flight." Ferran's voice: the closest human equivalent to nails on a chalkboard. After everything that had taken place, it was a wonder he still had the energy to be an ass.

"Maybe you should ask Ferran about his HR investigation, which is a main reason that she's touring the Chelsea facility fight now. Hey, maybe you'll see her this summer when you get sold there. They're always looking for people to keep the bench warm while the important players are on the field." Gavi spoke calmly and evenly, like he was stating pure fact. He stood, leaving the room to avoid the round of questioning that was about to occur regarding HR and the doctora's new home.

The click of Pablo's cleats echoed loudly in the hallway a she approached the medical room, where Luca was fumbling with bandage and his laptop, while Pedri waited on the exam table like a fish at the market. His head turned at the sound of Gavi's approach, and he gave a weak smile to the younger player.

"I finally pushed it too far. Great timing, eh Hermano? It's only a Champion's League, a SuperCopa, and a potential classico that I'll miss. Nothing significant."

Gavi could do nothing but let out a slight laugh, cupping Pedri on the back of the neck. His heart hurt for his friend. This is what every player dreamed of: playing for cups, winning with the team of their dreams. And Pedri was going to miss all of it because they had relied on him to heavily, asked him to bridge too many gaps.

"Please don't say that word to me ever again. Luca, how's it looking? Eight weeks seems a little excessive for a sprain." Gavi knew that Luca was doing something wrong. Or stupid. Or, the most likely option, both. When Ansu had sprained his hamstring, he was back on the field in 28 days under your care. Alejandro had a minor tear in his meniscus, and yet still he was faster than the speed of sound 6 weeks later. Now there was no you. No melodic voice explaining muscle strain and stride length and tissue recovery. Just a stupid, lanky Spaniard in free Barca merch putting "leg hurts" into Web MD and seeing what he can diagnose with this time.

"Why don't you let the medical professionals do their job, Gavi, and you go back to putting your head in front of peoples' feet."

Looking to quickly diffuse the situation, Pedri turned to his friend, wanting to stop looking at the man who might end his football career with a wrong move and an 'oops'.

"I'll just let y/n look at it when I get back home. She'll fix me up in no time. That is, if you give me one of your spots on her schedule."

"Yeah, that's if she even comes back to work."

Pedri looked at the younger boy with confusion. It had been several weeks since he had seen Gavi with his favorite physio. Initially, he thought the crush had faded - that Pablo had found another pretty thing to maintain his interest, and you had fallen to the wayside with the other failed football loves. But Pablo was so clearly unhappy. He was more irritable, spending more and more time on his phone while avoiding the group all together. He sat silently in Pedri's passenger seat, screen illuminating his face but remaining silent.

[Doctora]: Good morning Pablo - running late. Will bring you an apology smoothie

[Doctora]: im going to need you to send me a video of you tying your shoes as proof

[Doctora]: i'll tell you when i see u tomorrow

Gavi had spent two weeks going back over every message you had ever sent him. He watched the way your tone changed from proper and professional to something lighter, more friendly and familiar. Over and over your voice played in his head.

"Pablo."

Pride be damned. He missed you. As he stood behind his teammates, whispers about the staff still whirling around the tunnel, it dawned on him. Barca, the club of his dreams, the fantasy of his childhood, would never - could never - be complete again if you left.

"And we're back in Old Trafford for the second half of this UCL match between the Historic FC Barcelona, and the red devils of Manchester United."

~

"That's incredible that you went to school there! I'm a ride or die for their basketball team, so you already have my respect."

You flashed Christian a smile - a real one, the first genuine display of joy you've been able to muster in a while. Both of the players had shown a genuine interest in getting to know you, trying to sell you on the idea of joining the club. Kepa had gushed over how much he loved living in London, citing his experiences as a fellow Spaniard.

"You're around so many Spanish speakers at the club, you hardly miss home."

Christian, the more injury-prone of the two, talked about his experiences with the medical team, and the close relationships he had built there. All of the medical team had become family to him in some way or the other. It calmed your previous anxieties. Maybe it was just a fear of change keeping you tethered to Barca, and all you needed was time to adjust.

"I think you'd get along really well with the other players, of course, the ones that opt-in to working with you."

This statement from Christian caught the attention of both you and Steve, who rushed over before you could ask for clarification. Opt-in? How could you opt-in to medical treatment?

"Miss, I think that Kepa and Christian have both done a wonderful job of providing just a small taste of what it means to be part of the Chelsea family. We don't want to keep them from afternoon training."

You said your thanks and goodbyes, but before they left Kepa turned to you, as if suddenly struck with a lightening bolt of realization.

"You're the Barca physio that works with Gavi, right?" He asked in Spanish. "He mentioned a girl physio during international training."

Another knot in your stomach at the mere mention of his name. "Yeah that would be me."

Kepa's face shifted, brows downturned and lips pursed. "Let me give you my contact information, in case you have any more questions." This line was in English, spoken more in Steve's direction than in yours. He approached, taking the phone from your hands and switching back to Spanish.

"Don't leave Barca. Gavi talked about you a lot during the break. They respect and value you a lot there - don't throw that away." He handed the phone back to you as you tried to contain your expression, suppressing the shock you felt from displaying itself on your features. What could Pablo have said that would make this man go out of his way to prevent you from joining this club? What had been so compelling that Kepa worked against his own best interest?

It was now just you and Steve in the room, and you turned to him, his skin flushed, to ask about Christian's little slip.

"There was something mentioned about players opting out of treatment?"

"Ah, just a small clause in your contract. Just says that players can choose not to be treated by club medical staff and find their own if they feel uncomfortable. It's all there in the paperwork somewhere. You can call my assistant if you read over it again and have more questions. Now, I know that you need to go soon, but I wouldn't be able to let you go without meeting one of our new signings. Someone else who knows what it's like to decide to make the shift from La Liga here to the old PL. Come with me."

You rose from your seat, migraine returning from the stress onset. What was being kept from you? Obviously you hadn't read your employment offer close enough. You walked through the passages somewhat mindlessly, following Steve with your body as your mind drifted elsewhere. What was being hidden from you?

"Joao, nice to see you again! This is Doctor y/l/n, and we're trying to convince her to make the same switch from Spain to London."

All of your medical education had told you that the masticator and other jaw muscles were voluntary; that they could be controlled and moved when you wanted. Not today. Your jaw went slack, and it refused to shut as you stared at the Portuguese beauty before you. There was no way. How had you missed the news of his move. How unprofessional was it to say 'pinch me' during what was essentially an interview.

"Nice to meet you, Doctora. I'm quite relieved that I don't have to speak in English - apparently my accent is not as good as I thought."

Joao Felix was shaking your hand. You had yet to say anything or even shut your mouth. Joao Felix was shaking your hand. You laughed lightly at his statement, muscles moving independently of the pudding that was your brain currently. Joao Felix was shaking your hand.

"I'm sorry, it's so nice to meet you, I'm just a little overwhelmed. You're one of my favorite players in football right now. I've been following you since your debut. Oh my God."

It was Joao's turn to laugh, a light and glorious sound. You had made him laugh. You wished someone was recording so you could send the video to Angeliika. And your mom. They would both go into cardiac arrest. His skin turned slightly pink as he scratched the back of his head, flattered by the admiration of someone so accomplished (and, as he would later reflect, gorgeous). Despite not understanding a lick of Spanish, Steve knew he had made a winning move by introducing you to Joao. The two of you leaned into each other as you spoke, and he motioned towards the field, inviting you to a stroll around the turf to chat.

All of your pride and prejudice fantasies were being realized in this moment. You were taking a polite stroll around the grounds with a man that you had salivated over while watching football on TV. A golden boy and future champion. He was something incredible. Witty and charismatic and easy to talk to. Everyone says not to meet your heroes, and yet here you were, floating several inches above the ground beside Joao.

"So, what club are you moving from? Can't be something in Madrid - I would remember you."

Lord, this was too much. You gave a silent thanks to the heavens, all the good karma you had accumulated throughout your life manifesting on this day.

"Oh no, not a Madrid club. Just a small Catalan club called Barca. Heard of it?" You teased as Joao stopped in his tracks. It was his turn to go wide-eyed and slack jawed.

"You're the Barca girl physio? I have heard of you! One of the physios at Atleti is your classmate. He said you're crazy smart."

How were you staying alive when all the blood in your body was in your face? How had so many people in the football space heard your name with you blissfully unaware. The smile on your face was not just due to the compliment. Maybe there were people ready to be there for you, and you just needed to reach arm out to them.

The conversation came to a close as you watched other groups come onto the field, preparations being made for upcoming matches. You thanked Joao for his time, once again involuntarily gushing about how surreal this experience was.

"Ah, there's really no need. The pleasure was all mine. I hope that I'll get to see more of you, Doctora, no matter what decision you end up making." Stretching his arm out, pulling you in for a hug. He enveloped you, arms wrapped tightly around your frame in a way that was borderline inappropriate for a goodbye. He smelled heavenly, the warmth radiating from his body akin to a fireplace. This was the stuff of dreams and imagination.

And yet, Joao was not the name on your mind. He way he smelled was beautiful and yet unfamiliar. Your thoughts traveled back to the last hug like this you had shared with someone. To the scent of One Million and powdery deodorant, mixed with something that couldn't be bottled. To the feeling of strong arms sitting lower on your waist. To brown hair and brown eyes and a brown leather couch. To white shirts and white bedsheets. To the soft voice and smooth voice that called for you.

"Doctora."

Logic be damned. You missed Pablo. And then the empty expanse of your soul filled with a feeling of dread. You had made a mistake. So many mistakes. Pushing away Pablo, lying to your friends about how much you needed them. Considering another job. Nothing in the the blue and white had given you even 1% of the feelings you experienced walking into Camp Nou every day. But you would never be able to go back if Gavi was angry with you. Ferran was cattle waiting to be sold. Gavi was a contender this year's golden boy, a powerhouse on the field, a bright star for both club and country. You reached into your bag, staring at his name in your phone. But your fingers shook too violently to press the call button. You remembered the hurt on his features, the way he couldn't even look at you as he passed in the halls. You weren't ready to see [Call Declined] appear on your screen. Instead you rested your phone on your lap, reaching in to retrieve your Chelsea contract.

Obviously, your eagerness to run away from your current life had blurred your vision. On page 22 of 31, there is was in what appeared to be a smaller font than the rest of the agreement.

"Under FIFA and British Football regulation, players may refuse treatment from club-appointed medical staff for any reason, including but not limited to feelings of fear, discomfort, lack of safety, and lack of confidence. Providers will be compensated on a fee-for-service basis, where compensation is scaled based on the number of players consistently treated. Should more than 40% of players request alternative treatment, the club may terminate the contract with the provider before the term of the contract has elapsed."

Your eyes widened, brows knitted together in confusion and borderline disgust. Women in medicine were already at a disadvantage, and that increased tenfold for women in sports medicine. Should the players feel uncomfortable with you because of your sex or age, you could spontaneously be out of a job after picking up and moving your whole life?!

Before you could pick up the phone and tell Steve that he would need to find someone else to fill this cursed position, a buzzing came from your bag. Who was calling your work phone?

"Hello?"

"Good evening Doctora y/l/n, hope that your visit at Chelsea went well." Andreas was Xavi's secretary, and he was the closest thing you would ever get to the cast of The Devil Wears Prada. He was rather cold in the way that he spoke, but never rude. Well dressed and straight to the point - commanding of respect.

"Went very well, Andreas. I got to meet-"

"Mister Xavi has asked for your presence on the flight back to Barcelona to discuss your future with the club. It is of the utmost importance that this meeting occur as soon as possible. So you need to be in Heathrow by tonight at 11pm for check in with the rest of the team."

"But my flight back to Barcelona is tomorrow and I-"

"You'll be fully reimbursed for the cost of changing your travel. We are leaving from Terminal 2. Have a wonderful evening."

Just like that, you were wondering how fast you could pack everything and leave in the next 6 hours when your personal phone buzzed in your lap.

[Pablo]: I know u said u need space but

[Pablo]: i rlly need to talk to u

[Pablo]: can i meet you somewhere?

Heart racing, you typed back as fast as you could with trembling fingers, telling him that you would be so happy to meet him, giving him the address of a café near your hotel. You didn't want him to see what your salary could actually afford (since Chelsea didn't cover your travel accommodations). You let out a sigh of relief. He wanted to see you. He wanted to speak with you. He wasn't completely lost.

~

Packing had been fast - you had only brought the essentials to London to avoid paying a bag fee on the budget airline you had traveled. Fixing yourself in the mirror, you let out a deep sigh. What were you even going to say to Pablo? Begging for forgiveness seemed the most logical choice. You practiced your apology in the mirror, and yet froze every time. How would you respond when he asked you why? Why it had been so easy for you to push him away, to strike him down, to make him feel so utterly unimportant to you and your life? You didn't know how you would respond.

Feelings of the heart are often the easiest to articulate. They're not like emotions. Emotions are straight forward: happiness, anger, sadness, jealousy. Things that were caused by one identifiable source, and could be expressed easily with words and actions. But the matters that went beyond feeling, those were the most difficult to understand, let alone communicate. Despite his form, it wasn't lust that drew you into Pablo. Those thoughts had made you breathe heavy and push your thighs together. The glimpses of Pablo's bare form were painted on the edge of your mind, soft skin and hard muscle, inviting you in for a touch, a taste. It was an exciting idea, but not the one that riled you up the most.

No, it was something different. It was a scene that had plagued your mind for weeks upon end, always causing you to wake in a cold sweat with a tightness in your chest, breaths labored. You pictured yourself laying on Pablo's bare chest, drawing circles on his skin as his heart beat rhythmically for you to listen to. As you drifted off, he would place a kiss on the top of your head, running a soothing hand down your spine. It wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer into him, as he whispered softly.

"Mine."

It was a magnetic pull that Pablo had, a force of nature that you were unable to escape. It could be described as nothing other than desire, like you would make the world stop spinning until the two of you were united. There was a higher force tying you to Pablo, and etched in your bones was a knowledge that you would never be able to leave him. But the sentiments died on your tongue before they could ever take to the air, never to fall on the ears of a certain Spaniard.

As your heels clicked against the city pavement, a sense of calm washed over you. He had reached out to you. There was an olive branch being extended. He was ready to hear what you had to say. Yet upon entering the small space, a different voice called out your name.

"Pedri?"

It was impossible to hide the disappointment in your voice. You had built up the confidence to come here solely based on the premise that Gavi wanted to see you. Your ego had deflated, back to feeling like utter garbage for the way you had treated the person who, in reality, was your closest friend. Before the self pity could fully sink its claws in, you noticed the full-leg brace that Pedri was sporting.

"I'm sorry that I used Pablo's phone to text you - didn't have your personal number, and it would be a little... salt-in-the-wound-ish to ask him for it right now. Especially since you asked him not to speak to you."

"I never said that!" You exclaimed a little more enthusiastically than intended, causing a couple people to glance in your direction. Pedri escorted you to a table in the corner, offering to go and get you a coffee to fight the chill of a London January.

"No please. It's completely fine. You shouldn't be standing with a torn muscle anyways."

Pedri looked at you inquisitively. He had not seen you in a while, especially with you and Gavi not on speaking terms. He had missed the quips and sarcastic comments he was able to catch during training. He missed the feeling of safety whenever you cared for himself or others on the field, as he knew that you were to be trusted with their bodies. He missed the fire you sparked in Pablo, leading to unparalleled passion and unprecedented performances. The air of natural confidence that you spoke with is what brought the smile to his face. Not hesitation or wobble in your voice. No need to consult a dozen others. Medically, you knew your shit.

"A tear? Luca told me it was only excessive strain on my hamstrings."

A scoff and an eye roll that widened Pedri's smile. "I wouldn't let Luca perform medicine on a Barbie. That's the wrong kind of brace if it's a sprain. It's immobilizing. You need something with compression - a thigh sleeve most likely. Have you been icing it?"

"How could you leave Barca when your successors are idiots like Luca?" His arms folded across the table in front of him as the realization spread across your features. You were acting like his physio on impulse.

"How did you know I was thinking about leaving?"

"Everybody knows. No one could focus on today's second half because of it. When I went down everyone was scrambling to find you and call you. Everyone, myself included, was waiting for you to run across the field, bag in those magic hands ready to come and give me a new leg. But then you weren't there. And I was just praying that Luca didn't schedule me for an amputation."

A shy smile and a breathy laugh. You met his kind eyes, piercing though you. It was surprising when you felt the wetness on your cheeks, registering you were crying only after the tears had rolled down to your chin. He brought his chair in closer, holding your hand, and you held on for dear life. Your tears were falling in earnest now, fat and fast enough to hit the table as you used Pedri as a lifeline.

"Come back to Barca."

"I can't Pedri. I've... I've just made such a mess of everything."

"You're talking about Pablo."

"I'm talking about everything. I have a player that actively hates me and is looking for every opportunity to get me fired. Everyone on the team thinks that I'm sleeping with Pablo. And Pablo - I can't even explain how much I messed up. I told him to stay away from me. To give me space. I don't want space." You rested your forehead against the cool wood of the table. "I just want him to talk to me. When you sent me that message I was so excited. I thought he was ready to forgive me."

"Don't worry for a second about Ferran. We heard about the complaint to HR and I'd be happy to speak on your behalf about the dogshit he says to you. Everyone with a brain knows you're not sleeping with Pablo - they all have so much respect for the work that you do. Dembele came to me after the match and told me to contact you. He said your first assignment for Barca was to work on his leg recovery, and it was the best treatment he's ever had." You raised your head, tears turning your eyes red and puffy as they stained your cheeks.

"This may be selfish of me to say, but I would do anything to have you stay at the club and work with me. I can't miss all of these cup games because the physios don't know what's going on. This is everything I have ever wanted in my life. And if you're the person that can help me get there, then nothing, especially not Ferran and the other airheads at the club, are going to hold me back."

He moved to grab your other hand as well, looking you straight in the eyes. There was not one indication that he was exaggerating his sentiments. He wanted to win more than he wanted to breathe.

"And Pablo? Don't worry about him."

"How can I not worry, Pedri. I was so cruel to him. He'll never speak to me again."

"Doctora, don't you know that there's no one on this earth he holds in higher regard?"

~

The terminal was surprisingly quite busy upon your arrival. It seemed that everyone was catching an international red-eye, causing you to stumble through crowds with your small bag and exhausted demeanor. You approached the airport staff, utterly lost in trying to find the meeting place. It was 10:56pm, and you didn't have the money to be missing the company-sponsored return flight.

"Excuse me, I'm with the F.C Barcelona team. Where can I check in for my flight?"

"I don't remember them becoming a unisex team.'' Your expression remained neutral as the staff member chuckled at his own joke. You didn't have time to give a lecture on the dangers of misogyny. "I need to see your Barca ID."

"I don't have my team ID badge, but if you let me speak to-"

"Don't you women have something better to do than try and fuck a footballer? Lord, you even have a suitcase and everything. I suggest that you go home and stop with these little charades - it's embarrassing."

You stood speechless as the man walked away, stationing himself in a different area of the terminal. Behind you, screams were heard coming from the door, followed by flashes of light in rapid succession.

"Gavi I love you!"

"Pedri Pedri! You're my idol!"

"Xavi have my babies!"

Your attention shifted to the security guarding the entrance as the Barca squad filtered through the doors, all dressed in coordinated pale yellow. You speed walked towards them, pace catching the attention of one of the guards.

"Miss, you need to maintain space."

Gavi turned to look at the person that was causing a disturbance. Usually it was a child who had gotten a little too excited to see their favorite players, and often the soft spot in his heart compelled him to give them a picture or signature. It was hard to have your dreams crushed as a child by a celebrity that didn't care, and he was determined not to be that type of person. That's when his eyes locked with a pair oh so familiar to him. He stood in place, frozen as his teammates narrowly avoided bumping into him and causing an awful domino effect. It felt like forever since he last looked at you this way: like you were the only person in the room.

"Ah, Doctora y/n, glad Andreas was able to coordinate with you. Sir, she's with us." Xavi's word was law, as usual, and you were allowed to pass through with the rest of the group, ushered to a more private area of the terminal, the screams of fans echoing behind you.

Pablo watched as you stood alongside the coach, chattering away about God knows what. Eric and Pedri were beside him, making conversation about the new additions introduced in the FIFA update.

"Did you know she was going to be here?" Gavi asked, interrupting Pedri's rant about how expensive different skins and expansions were. He had been desperate to see you, thinking of all the ways he might reconcile once he saw you again. But not now. He wasn't ready to face you - not ready to be told 'no' again. For the first time in years, a cold vein of fear ran through him. Was this it? Were you handing in your resignation, coming to Spain only to collect your things before moving to the gray fogginess of the Premier League?

"Yeah. We had a little chat earlier." Say what you want about the IQ of footballers, but Pedri was incredibly intelligent. He himself had given up a career in medicine to explore football greatness. This meant he was smart enough to have deleted the messages that he sent from Pablo's phone before he did his 78th re-read of all your text messages. He was also smart enough to figure out that Gavi had wanted you practically since he laid eyes on you. Contrary to what many may think, Gavi didn't really look at girls. He was usually absorbed in conversation with a friend, whether in person or virtually, and was not prone to looking at every pretty girl that crossed his path. He was hard to please and even harder to impress. So when he started seeking you out more often, mentioning you during random drives, he knew that Pablito was infatuated.

It was several months, however, before Pedri realized the extent of Pablo's affection towards you. It had been during the international break, when Pedri sat and played FIFA with Nico, the only worthy opponent among La Roja. Pablo was half watching the game, half staring at the illuminated screen when he stood suddenly. Pedri watched from the corner of his eye as Gavi stepped out onto the balcony in shorts and his training shirt in the bitter chill of December. When the match had ended (3-1 to him of course), he followed the younger outside, and found him with his phone pointed towards the horizon. The sun in its retirement had painted the sky the most vibrant shades of oranges and pinks, bleeding into a royal purple. The hazy, circular glow kept the sky warm, and the colors stretched out over the wide expanse of the city, painting everything in the golden light of dusk. That's when Pedri heard the shutter click.

"Since when do you take pictures of the sunset?" He was teasing again. It was always fun to rile up his fiery teammate.

"I'm sending them to the doctora. It's so pretty, I want her to see it."

"Isn't she in Barcelona right now? She's probably looking at the same sunset."

"But it's just so beautiful from this high up." Gavi said, eyes still transfixed on his phone as he searched for the most worthy flick to send you. "I just want to send her something beautiful. I want to send her every beautiful thing in the world."

Yes, Pedri was a smart man. Smart enough to see that Pablo's feelings to you were stronger than he had ever experienced for another. Probably the strongest he had ever experienced at all. He was smart enough to approach Alejandro and Ansu, while Gavi chewed on his lip at the prospect of speaking to you, to organize the seating during the flight home.

~

"Don't get too comfortable, Doctora. You'll be joining me upfront for a chat after takeoff." You laughed politely at Xavi as he boarded the plane. You gathered your things, acutely aware of Ferran's gaze on you while you bent over.

"Have a good time at Chelsea? Try and ruin any lives while there?" He asked, voice laced with annoyance. HR had approached him about your complaint, informing him that they would be asking other players and staff about comments made at your expense. While he could keep his friends quiet, he had done too much to piss off Gavi, leaving him vulnerable to everyone in his camp. His only hope was to get you to leave before the investigation had concluded.

"I would prefer we didn't speak about non-professional matters. Thank you, Ferran." You said, smiling so sweetly he felt his teeth throb. You boarded the plane last with the rest of the staff, Luca rushing past you like he would be left behind if he wasn't seated soon. Glancing down at your ticket, you read out your seat number. Row 6, seat G. Walking onto the aircraft, you were stunned by the beauty of the first class cabin. It was furnished completely with plush leather, with every two or three seats getting their own dividers from the rest of the passengers. You walked to row 6, and made your way across the aisle to the right side of the plane where your seat was meant to be. In row 6, seat F, sat Pablo. He looked up at the aisle at the sound of shuffling, and the two of you just stared at one another, wordlessly communicating a shared hurt. All you wanted was to pull him in and say how sorry you were. You just didn't know if he'd be ready to accept.

"Um, I think I'm in the seat next to you." You told him sheepishly. He moved from his place, allowing you to sit next to him by the window.

"I thought the staff usually sits together." He said, trying to prevent it from sounding like a complaint, because it truly wasn't. He wondered what force of fate had allowed your seat to be placed next to his. Little did he know that fate was from the Canary Islands. You sat next to him, adjusting your seat and the belt, before bouncing your leg nervously. The speed increased when you felt the vibration of the engine, watching the plane move from its parked space onto the runway. You wanted to say something - anything - but your throat was dry and the words failed you. You didn't know what to say to ensure that you would be forgiven. That was probably the scariest part: knowing that the forgiveness may never come.

"Are you afraid of flying?"

You turned your head at the question. Gavi's eyes were fixated on your sweatpants-clad thigh as it bounced at incredible speeds. There were many things you were scared of in that moment, but the plane didn't help quell any of them. You were going to be stuck next to Pablo for the next two hours at the least. The anxiety of not knowing how he felt towards you gnawed at your skin, eating you alive. You nodded your head, because in all honesty, it was the same fear, wasn't it? Flying, falling - all terrifying prospects.

Gavi put one airpod in, extending the other to you. It was a peace offering, the olive branch you had waited for. You accepted it graciously, muttering a quiet thank you as you slotted it into place. Your body turned back towards the window, 'Sky full of stars' playing softly in the right half of your brain. As the plane continued to move slowly down the runway, you felt a hand rest atop yours, bringing your bouncing leg to a halt. The skin on skin sent shockwaves through you, electricity running up and down your arm. His hand moved sideways, sliding under yours to lift, and then proceeding to interlock your fingers. The warmth of Pablo's hand, the strength of his grip. The slight squeeze as the plane began picking up speed. Despite lacking the confidence to look at him directly, you peaked at your joined hands. Pablo was here. And through the presses of his fingers and the soothing motion of his thumb, he reminded you that Pablo would always be here, so long as you would have him.

"y/n, Mister Xavi would like to see you now."

You hadn't even realized your hand was still laced with Pablo's until one of the assistant coaches came to collect you. Gavi had drifted off into a light sleep, waking as he felt the cold hit his once warm palm. He grabbed your wrist as you tried to follow the assistant coach.

"Don't leave." He said, voice dry and raspy. You weren't sure if he meant now or the club. You moved your hand to join it with the one on your wrist, giving a gentle squeeze of reassurance, as he had done for you.

"Don't worry. I'll be right back."

This was your first time on a plane that had a lounge. The coaching staff was spread across all four sofas, drinking champagne and discussing the efforts from this trip. Xavi sat at a table, an empty seat across from him.

"Doctora, welcome back from Chelsea. Did you enjoy your visit?" He asked, offering your a flute that you politely declined.

"It was wonderful. The staffand players were all great. I'm grateful for the opportunity."

Xavi raised an eyebrow at the diplomatic answer. You were not giving him much of an indication as to your decision. He reached into his bag and extracted a medical file, sliding it over to you.

"As I'm sure you saw on TV and online, Pedri suffered quite a severe injury during the Man U match. Pedri is a key component of our midfield, and Luca has estimated eight to ten weeks for his recovery. I'd like you to take a look at his medical examination report and recommend a course of treatment."

You took the papers in your hand, looking at Xavi cautiously. What was the purpose of this exercise?

"Well, I've already told Pedri that his brace was incorrect, and gave him the specifications for a sleeve to buy once we return home. The eight to ten weeks metric is based on the healing with this immobilization boot. Using the correct compression sleeves and ice, as well as rest, Pedri should be back on in 4 weeks. Five if you want to be safe. That would mean his first appearance back would be the SuperCopa semifinals."

Xavi laughed to himself, collecting the files and returning them to their place. He pulled out another sheet of documents, the words "Adjusted Contract" in bold at the top.

"Doctora y/l/n, it has become increasingly evident as I watch you practice and treat our players that you are a generational talent in sports medicine. You have a deep understanding of the body that few others, both in the club and outside, can fully grasp. At Barca, we strive to do everything in our power to keep generational talents in Camp Nou. I would like you to consider remaining at the club until the summer, when contract renegotiations occur. This would allow you to see out a season that you have contributed so greatly to."

"Why the new contract now then?"

"Just a few clause adjustments. Firstly, we have increased your compensation to absorb your living costs. Those will now be covered by the club. The other change is on this page here. It states that your main focus must be on starters, injured prioritized before healthy. So, if you choose to accept, Pedri would be the top priority as an injured starter. You would dedicate all the necessary time to his treatment."

You scanned the document, and it was just as he said. No other nonsense, just the clauses on compensation and prioritization.

"This is all so flattering sir, but..." Your voice trailed off, shy to speak in front of a legend and the man holding your future in his hands.

"What can we do to make this deal irrefutable?"

"The contract is perfect sir. What I would need is a promise from you. Chelsea's base compensation was higher, but the compensation was based on the number of services the medical staff provides. I could be fired at any moment if not enough players were comfortable being treated by me. I felt, or well rather I didn't feel the sense of loyalty, of family, that I get as Barca. And so I would need a promise from you."

"Name your demand."

"When the summer comes and my contract needs to be renegotiated, keep me on the team. Don't try and pawn me off to someone else. This is my team, my club, my family. So you have to promise me that I have a future here, or else I'll save the heartbreak and leave now."

Xavi placed a pen on the table, bringing his chair forward to be as close as possible to you. "Doctora, you are an incredible and frankly priceless asset to us. We were able to hand select you from the best of the best new physios in Spain. Our successes, any trophies and titles, we owe them in part to you. Help me finish the season with a strong and healthy squad, and I swear to you on my life that you will have a place at Barca until the day you die." He stretched out his hand, and you took a deep breath, meeting the shake midway. It felt weird, signing your contract again, but for more money. You definitely didn't expect to be in this position before you've even graduated, but it brought a pride to your soul. Xavi saw something in you. A generational talent. Somebody believed in what you could do.

You returned to your seat and found that it was Gavi's turn to bounce his leg. You sat down, and he followed you with his eyes. After a moment of silence, he spoke.

"Did you enjoy your trip?"

"Very much so. I got to meet Joao Felix."

Gavi's face turned to you, catching the beaming smile that broke out across your face.

"Yeah? You like him in person, or was he a disappointment?"

"He was less... dreamy than I had anticipated. But still sweet nonetheless. It was a cool experience."

Gavi responded with a hum, turning his music back on and looking away from you. His other airpod sat on the tray table, right where you left it.

"Pablo," it was your turn to rest a hand on his bouncing leg, "we have to talk."

Pablo turned to you, eyes sad and lip between his teeth. "Do we? I feel like you've said everything there is to say." He knew he was being difficult. He knew he was being petty. But Pablo could not let himself get hurt again, especially not in front of the entire team. If he was going to mourn your departure, it was going to be in the comfort of his own guest bed, the one piece of furniture he could sleep on for 7 continuous hours because it held no memories of you. It was your turn to find his fingers and slot them between your own.

"I didn't mean it. Any of it. I have so many reasons why I didn't mention meeting you, Pablo, but I'm just not brave enough to tell you yet. It wasn't because it wasn't important. It could never be. You are one of the most important people in my life. You're one of the only people I have left. Please don't push me away."

His eyes met yours, and he knew there was no way he could remain angry. It was you, after all. The person that made Pablo believe in the possibility of a soulmate. The one that Gavi thought of whenever songs about incredible love came up on his playlist. You were it. He gripped your hand tighter.

"Going to be hard to support you from several countries away, but I will try my best."

"You don't have to. I'm staying."

Gavi's eyes widened, face lighting up like a kid who had just been gifted an entire candy store. "You're staying?"

"Mhm. Barca is my home. My family. No matter how bad it gets, I could never leave this place behind." It felt as though you spoke those words right into his soul, breathing life back into his very being. You were staying. Your voice, your laugh, your energy - all of it would be at Camp Nou, waiting on the sidelines as he fought tooth and nail to capture your attention. "And plus, Pedri and Xavi basically begged me to come back so Luca doesn't have to treat him."

Gavi let a laugh fill his lungs and spill from his throat, maybe a little louder than necessary on a midnight flight. But he was feeling genuine joy course through his veins. He was a man on death row with a second chance at life. He removed his hand from your grip, bringing to above you and resting it across your shoulders. Professionalism be damned. He just wanted to be close to you right now.

"Xavi was more convincing than Joao? I bet that would be a blow to his ego if he found out." It was comfortable, sitting with Pablo in this way. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to be this close to him. You pushed up the hand rest so that the two of you could get even closer. Professionalism be damned. They wouldn't fire you while Pedri was still limping.

"Oh yeah. Portugal boy is cute, but Xavi in 2010? That was my first love. I could never refuse a request from him." More giggles from Gavi. You wished you would bottle this moment, eager to make his happiness perpetual. He was human sunshine, and he deserved every light and happy and beautiful moment life could offer.

"The spiky hair? Really?"

"Shut up!" Coupled with a smack to the chest. You rested your head on his shoulder, exhaustion of the day and its stressors finally catching up to you. "Every man looks hotter when carrying a trophy."

Gavi let out a light laugh, turning to hide his blush. Yet another motivation to lift as many cups as possible this season. He offered you his other airpod again, which you accepted, inserting it as a soft melody filled your ears. Your eyelids were heavy, and you were drifting in and out of consciousness.

"One day, we'll need to talk about it properly, you know." Pablo said from above you, voice soft and serious.

You nodded your head, letting out a quiet "Mhm" in a agreement. You knew it was an inevitable conversation. You would have to eventually face the music, let Gavi free himself from whatever feelings were sitting on his chest. But you couldn't do it now. Not with your future up in the air. Not with your feelings for Gavi still a massive tangle of emotions.

"Not tonight." You said to him softly, as he turned his head to meet your eyes.

"No, not tonight."

Your eyes finally closed and you began drifting off. Pablo's arm remained wrapped around you as he leaned in closer, basically cuddling you on this plane. Thank the lord for blessing the engineers with enough foresight to install dividers. As you breathed rhythmically against his chest, he pressed his nose into your hair, breathing deeply. Why was everything about you so intoxicating?

In the haze of your sleep, you heard Pablo speaking to you. You listened intently, hoping to catch these special words that he only released to your sleeping form.

"Doctora, I would wait for you forever. Even when you hit rock bottom, I'll be there, waiting for you with a ladder. You will always have me, no matter what."

~~~~~~~

A/N: Guys I did it!!! My longest part to date! I am so flipping tired. It's 4am. I don't remember a time before I started writing this part. Anyways, we are chugging along y'all! Only two parts left in the main story!! I surpassed my 15k word goal. Maybe next part is 18k? I think the next part is going to be my favorite. I haven't decided if I want the big boom pow event to be in part 9 or 10. We will see. Again, apologies for the long time between updates, but semi-decent writing takes time. As usual, please leave thoughts, feedback, predictions, etc. in the replies - I love reading all of them so much!!! If you notice any easter eggs/ small details, feel free to point them out!!! There are so many and I love when y'all get them. IDK when part 9 is coming out but when it's done y'all will be the first to know. Ok love y'all byeeeee.

Also please comment if you want to be added to the taglist ok bye

*~*Taglist*~*

@l0verl4ne @vibinwkay @anastasia-nova @mxgvmiii @mads-grace4 @bubblebeep69 @katluckybear @scuderiabarca @alwaysclassyeagle @simpingmyassoff @grlwithprblms @lqvesoph @pink-manz @graziemille @xxenia14 @nngkay @icedlattewithextracaramel @gyusrose @vip-access @julianalvarez9 @lavie3nrose @ge0rg1ewaa @i8yul @lovefordilfs271 @remuslupinluver @thattaylorswiftobsessedbitch @chaotic-taco-collector-blog @kaismybabe @notanenthucutlet @fullsun9890 @venomwh0re @renaissancewhxre @gaviandgrizisgirl @altgojo @urmomdotcom5678 @eliseline @invidia-of-alhambra @pixwls @stell4rrrs @80sloverry @car1no-xx @mrsgavira @888bear @kylianmbappee @ivyhrry @gaviypedrisbride @grlwithprblms @dessxoxsworld @user6373738

#pablo gavi x reader #gavi #pablo gavi imagine #gavi x reader #pablo gavi #pablo gavi x y/n #gavisuntiedboot #gavi imagine #pablo gavi fluff #gavi fic #pablo gavi fanfiction #gavi x you #fc barca #gavi fluff #gavi fanfic #pablo gavi slow burn #pablo gavi x reader fluff #fc barcelona #pablo gavi angst #gavi angst

[dark-nimbus]

A Rant on Representation in Media (mostly comics)

CW: ableism, disability erasure, mentions of fat phobia, mentions of fetishization, lmk if there’s anything I missed

I can’t believe that here in 2023 we still have to say this, but fuck it this year has already been hell enough so why not add another thing

Representation, whether it be for disabilities or culture, race or religion, any marginalized group— ALWAYS MATTERS

I spent the majority of the other night dealing with people trying to downplay the impact of Barbara Gordon’s paralysis being retconned. Wanna see how that went?

“Oh, but it’s okay if Barbara Gordon still has some mobility because there’s paralyzed people that regain their ability to walk”

Her spinal cord was completely severed, she was left fully paralyzed from the waist down

“There’s a 60yo fighting in a Kevlar bat suit and shifting clay people, but Barbara getting her legs back again is a problem?”

Okay, can clay people restore a spinal injury? Can Batman punch a nervous system into fully functioning? What relation does that have?

Aside from the fact there’s zero connection between the two, paralysis actually fucking exists. Batman and clay shifters, believe it or not, don’t. Lemme know if you find an irl Batman or Clayface that needs representation. Go on, I’ll wait

“Barbara being able to walk again isn’t disability erasure, there’s other paralyzed characters”

The definition of disability erasure is literally terminating someone’s disability under the belief it makes a person less than. The fuck you mean it’s not?

And how many paralyzed comic characters can you name? I’m willing to bet it doesn’t come to 50. Every character belonging to an underrepresented group matters. Whether their representation is taken away completely with that one character’s erasure or not isn’t the fucking point. You’re still fueling the already negative stigma around disabilities and sweeping disabled people further under the rug

“Her disability erasure doesn’t matter, DC will just paralyze her again in later issues”

I’m sorry, are you completely paralyzed from the waist down? Do you embody each and every paralyzed person and their experiences? No? What makes you think that you get to determine whether the erasure of something you don’t even have matters?

As for DC re-paralyzing Barbara, it’s been retconned since 2011. Even if they do plan on undoing whatever whack job microchip magic they’ve got going, they sure as hell are taking their sweet-ass time

I can’t believe people were actually arguing in favor of Barbara’s disability erasure, but here we are. Representation has always mattered and always will, and yet media loves grossly misrepresenting everything. Barbara was such a strong character as Batgirl, and flourished in her character development even more as Oracle. Her struggles, overcoming them, and learning to love herself and value her abilities beyond the mantle made her a well-loved inspiration for many. To have all of that stripped away and undone with a microchip was just as insulting as it was a destroyed opportunity for character growth

And unfortunately that’s not the first conversation I’ve had regarding the representation of characters

Oh, you thought I was done? Ha! I wish. How about Spiderverse?

“Oh but Sun-Spider can’t be a superhero, she’s wheelchair-bound!”

Professor X. The Chief. Oracle.

And just to cover all my bases: Bucky Barnes, Daredevil, Hawkeye, Doctor Mid-Nite, Hornet, Jericho, Cyborg. And that’s not even going into characters with much more hidden disabilities. Disabilities never stopped anyone from being able to achieve anything, nor should it ever

“Fat spider-people? Really? That’s just unrealistic”

Yes, really. What’s the problem with that? Surely it’s not the webbing, which have been proven to be durable enough to support buildings. No way it’s how they’re shaped when there’s a car, a horse, and a whole ass T-Rex spider variant

Some people really forgot the whole concept behind the first Spiderverse movie. How Stan Lee made it clear that “anyone can wear the mask.” It doesn’t matter your body type, whatever disorders or disabilities you have, your ethnicity or your upbringing. Being a hero is so much more than that, and the diversity of each spider-variant only reinforces how Spider-Man represents everyone

But let’s go even further with voice acting

“So what if Sunspot is being voiced by a white person instead of an Afro-Brazilian voice actor? It’s animated”

Oh wow I wasn’t aware that representation stops at the sound machine. Yes, Sunspot’s newest voice actor is Brazilian, but with a character whose ethnicity plays an integral part in his story, you’d think Marvel would figure casting an Afro-Brazilian VA would be more authentic for the role than the fourth white dude in a row, but no. Of course not

And with each VA they cast, Marvel pushes Afro-Brazilian VAs out of this role they’d intimately understand and be passionate in representing. VAs that Sunspot fans would love to see knowing that their favorite character (or even themselves) would be understood, rather than being hollowly voiced with characteristics that don’t match the person

“If Sunspot should be voiced by an Afro-Brazilian voice actor does that mean Magneto should be voiced by exclusively German Jewish voice actors? It’s not a monolith”

And neither are Brazilians. Hell, neither is any religion or race. That’s why we want an Afro-Brazilian VA. There’s so many nuances that can only be breathed into the character by someone who understands because they themselves have lived that life. It may be small but those nuances are what make the character feel alive to their audience, and the closer a VA is to the experiences of their character, the more genuine the character feels

Portraying animated characters doesn’t fall completely on the writers and artists. Artists may take control visually, and writers may be responsible for plot and voice lines, but it’s the VAs that are in the spotlight. VAs are the ones that gives these characters character. And those characters can’t be fully and properly represented for viewers if it’s not all there

Representation always matters. Its significance doesn’t go away with erasure, and it definitely isn’t less important because other people who aren’t among that marginalized group refuse understand. Disabilities don’t define who someone can be, nor does body type, or culture, or religion or any other background. It doesn’t stop at the sound machine. Anyone who says otherwise are just adding to the ignorance most media uses to excuse the already shit representation of the entertainment industry

Every marginalized group is valid. Every minority deserves to be portrayed as they are and not feel like they’re being fetishized, infantilized, or inaccurately represented for the sake of plot

Little me, the queer adopted Asian kid with raging ADHD, severe anxiety, and shit communication skills deserved more than the fetishization from anime characters and shouldn’t have needed to wait until they discovered Cassandra Cain, the first character to show that superheroes could look like them too

And people that never struggled to find themselves represented in media sure as hell don’t have an excuse to encourage lacking representation and feign ignorance when common decency and basic human empathy is free

#nerd shit #cassandra cain #barbara gordon #disability #marginalized communities #comics are for everyone #comics #dc comics #marvel #marvel comics #representation matters #disability representation #sunspot #batgirl #across the spiderverse #sun spider #black representation #voice acting #batman comics #detective comics #oracle #orphan #star scrivening

[nyaagolor]

SV PMD AU!

A few people asked for more details on this so I threw down some basic plot stuff

Some context up front: My version of the SV protagonist is a girl named Violeta who happens to be a Faller, so this is not the first and not the last dimension she gets yoinked into. Other than that it’s pretty standard fare for a PMD protag— she wakes up as a Pokemon (Sprigatito) with no memories except her name, finds another Pokemon (the ‘raidon) and is tortured with assorted visions as she levels up her exploration team and achieves various plot related milestones

The ‘raidon has a past / future way of speaking and is embarrassed about their accent— combined with the trauma of being attacked by the other ‘raidon leaves them selectively mute and extremely shy. I haven’t really thought of much beyond that for the raidon so uh. That’ll happen eventually

In terms of worldbuilding, there are actually two guilds instead of just one. The first is for kids / novice adventurers (aka a parallel to the academy) and run by Clavell (a drampa). The “teachers” are just upper level guild-members who spend time with and train new recruits. They’re all capable in their own right and often team up to go on missions and whatnot, but feel strongly about teaching and want to help nurture the new generation of explorers, so they’re full-time guild employees / members. 

By contrast, the second guild is a parallel to the League, and consists exclusively of high-level adventurers who have proven their worth and gotten admission approval from the guildmaster Geeta. Most (the gym leaders) are part-timers, doing their regular jobs in the town for most of the time and going on missions when instructed to by the League. The strongest among them are the Elite Four, who also run a gauntlet of battles to test whether an explorer / team can reach “champion rank”. They have considerably more work than the gym leaders and go on way more missions, being practically full time

Just like SV I imagine this AU having three “storylines” corresponding to the three paths you can take in the game:

Victory Road is all about the protagonist trying to keep up with Nemona, a champion-ranked Pawmi explorer who strangely doesn’t have a partner. She begs the protagonist to join her exploration team, which everyone around them seems weirded out by, and after talking with Clavell you learn Nemona hasn’t been able to keep a team member for more than like A Month because of her… everything. She’s extremely powerful, but also reckless and oblivious, so every one of her partners has either gotten overwhelmed by her and quit for gotten injured while they tried and failed to keep up with her, quitting afterwards. She’s more or less cycled through everyone in the academy, unable to hold down a proper team because everyone thinks she’s Too Much. Also she’s an electric type so she zaps everyone and everything around her if she gets too excited which is always. Clavell expresses hope that the protagonist can match her pace and maybe bring the both of them to greater heights— if the protagonist doesn’t get fed up with her and quit like everyone else. 

Path of Legends is about Arven, a (shiny) Poochyena trying to heal his uncle figure, Mabosstiff, who was hurt protecting him when the two went into a dangerous dungeon called “Area Zero” looking for Arven’s missing parents. The protagonist soon learns that Mabosstiff is a former outlaw who has since retired, so Arven can’t risk asking anyone in the guild for help without Mabosstiff getting arrested or worse. He enlists the protagonist to travel with him to dungeons and fight the Titan pokemon guarding the Herba Mystica on each dungeon’s final floor so they can hopefully heal his buddy. As they travel with the ‘raidon and eat the delicious sandwiches Arven whips up from the herbs, the ‘raidon gains more abilities and the protagonist gains more memories as the visions get clearer. ~The Plot Thickens~. I have literally zero ideas about The Way Home or how the professors fit into this so not sure what those visions or plot things are quite yet

Starfall Street is all about the protagonist taking on outlaws from the devious Team Star, a group of unknown criminals named after constellations who take over mystery dungeons, steal jobs, and snag items before guild members can get to them. A mysterious newcomer named Clive joins the protagonist along with Penny, a strange vigilante Eevee who isn’t part of the guild but wants to provide support to the protagonist in the form of items and other goodies. When the reach the first outlaw, however, and “Segin” is revealed to be a Murkrow named Giacomo who is no older than the protagonist and Penny, Clive and the protagonist starts to wonder what exactly is going on with these strange band of criminals— or if they’re even criminals at all. To get to the bottom of it, they vow to defeat and get the real story from each of the five bosses, untangling the mystery and making it all the way up to the Big Boss themself, Cassiopeia. 

I have no ideas for No Way Home ngl. Wishes are going to be a big part of it I think but honestly I got nothing atm. No idea how I’m going to incorporate the gym leaders into Nemona’s plot or how I’m going to end that either. Gyms don’t really lend themselves well to PMD so I’m at a bit of a loss with her. I’m also not super sure if I want the rivals to be present for just their storylines or not. On one hand the ‘raidon being the partner kinda works and the rivals shuffle out to keep from crowding things but on the other it might be cool to have all of them join so the protagonist has this big ol RPG party. 

The only route I have an ending for is Starfall Street. It’s revealed the now-admins of Team Star used to be part of the guild, but bullied a lot but other members. They eventually dressed up in their silly little costumes and challenged their bullies to battle in a whole theatrical performance, but the bullies were so scared they abandoned the guild to move to another, stealing / destroying some things on the way out and pinning the blame on the admins as a last-word kinda revenge. Team Star was accused of driving out the missing members, property destruction, and theft— and as such were ousted from the guild and labeled outlaws. The previous guildmaster eventually did realize Team Star was falsely accused, but fearing the truth would destroy the academy guild’s reputation, he erased all records of who Team Star was outside of species / hideout location and then resigned, leaving the new staff and guildmaster clueless as to what was really going on with Team Star. Clavell and the rest of staff didn’t realize that the admins’ “takeover” of different areas was just making the dungeons into a place to sleep, and that they were actually doing the “stolen jobs” to make money and get food so they wouldn’t go hungry. When Clive finally gets to the bottom of it all, he reinvites Team Star back into the guild and shares the truth with the rest of the guild’s students and staff to help make up for it. 

This is super open-ended so I’m very open to suggestions about it :) 

A very unsure pokemon list atm:

THE IMPORTANT ONES

Protagonist: Starter (I have my protag OC Violeta as a Sprigatito but tbh it doesn’t matter much)

Nemona: Pawmi

Arven: Shiny Poocyena

Penny: Eevee (debating on making her shiny as well bc of the grey)

Sada: Mightyena

Turo: Houndoom

TEAM STAR

Giacomo: Murkrow

Mela: Charcadet

Atticus: Grafaiai

Ortega: Dedenne

Eri: Riolu

TEACHERS

Clavell: Drampa

Dendra: Mienfoo

Raifort: Zoroark

Miriam: Audino

Salvatore: Alolan Raichu

Tyme: Midday Lycanroc

Saguaro: Granbull

Jacq: Xatu

GYM LEADERS:

Katy: Ribombee

Brassius: Servine

Iono: Minun

Kofu: Whiscash

Ryme: Midnight Lycanroc

Tulip: Meowstic

Grusha: Alolan Ninetales

ELITE FOUR:

Rika: Krokorok

Poppy: Mawile

Larry: Pidgeot

Hassel: Druddigon

Geeta: ???

#pokemon sv #pmd au #mod vex

[stripperblvd]

listen. *cries* he isn’t gone okay I’ve literally been feeling numb all day long because of it. he’s always with us in our hearts. he’ll live on in our memories.

an eddie x fem!reader she has undiscovered powers. But seeing her boyfriend getting attack by demobats. She unleashes her unknown power. killing them all she gets injured a bit by a few but nothing fatal. they both live…

*mumbles* Steve should’ve died instead of Eddie

Untapped (Eddie Munson x power!Reader)

Warnings: A little bit of angst and mentions of blood. Ya know, the usual. Word Count: 3.3k

Note: I’m not exactly sure if this counts as an AU but uh ya!

Most of the gang was sleeping, the ride back from the arms store silent, keeping the atmosphere serene and calm. You managed to have Eddie shrug off his jackets, letting him sleep on your chest as you sat on his lap. His legs were slightly spread, giving you room to lay your weight on the sofa itself so that his own limbs wouldn’t fall asleep, and his face shielded by your arms, your fingers twisting and playing with the tips of his pretty curls. You missed this, you missed the calm before everything had come back to you again. When El escaped, so did you, findinding refuge with Nancy when she found out about you two, after what had happened with Will, you decided to leave, knowing nothing good came from being surrounded by all the mistakes of Brenner’s. You twist your bracelets, some belonging to Eddie and some to you, revealing the 000 tattoo that had been inked on your skin from an early age.

You heard the click of a button, and the soft sounds of Max’s music stopped, the redhead girl coming to sit beside you. “Can I ask you something?” she spoke quietly, not wanting to disturb all the sleeping heads around but attracting the attention of Erica who had no need for rest given her recent involvement. “Shoot Red.” you smile, looking at the two young girls. She hesitated before fully taking off her headphones, looking at you with intent, “I understand why El has her tattoo, but I kinda never understood why you have all zeroes. Why did you need to be tagged if you don’t have any powers?.” Erica looked nervously between Max and you, relaxing when she saw your soft grin. You look back down to your resting boyfriend, tightening your arms around him before you respond. “I wish I knew myself. When I was younger Brenner used me sorta as a training dummy for all the other kids, letting them experiment and push their limits with me. But as I grew up, he stopped. I can’t remember why. I just know the kids took it too far, knocking out all power for like a whole day from the amount of energy they were using on me.” You explained, trying your best to recollect your thoughts, knowing that your actual memory was spotty, up until maybe a few weeks before the break out.

“That's awful. Why would he do that?” Erica chimed in, furring her brows with discontentment, her usual sass nowhere to be found. You shook your head, brushing Eddie’s bangs and scalp with your fingers. “I’m not sure. From what I remember I never displayed abilities like the rest. There was virtually no reason for me to be in there for as long as I was, other than being El’s babysitter.” A bitter laugh escapes your lips, remembering the hatred you brewed for Brenner throughout those years, wishing you had even an ounce of power to erase him from the world, to punish him for everything he let those kids do to you. You take a deep breath, knowing it’s best not to get worked up about the past, choosing instead to run your thumb across Eddie’s brows, smiling as his face contorts slightly, his muscles registering your touch, but not stirring him from the peaceful slumber he was in.

“You really do love him huh?” Max says, so low and gentle that you barely catch the airy whisper, the mere words making your grin bigger as you look at the other girl. Your head nods a bit, “ I know your brother wasn’t always the best, he didn’t know how to release his emotions but apart from him, Eddie was always there for me. And when Billy passed it was Eddie comforting me, making sure I wouldn’t run off doing something stupid. ‘Course this was before he got involved in all of this shit.” the last part of your sentence hinting at a spiteful of words as you turn your gaze back on to the girls. “I know he sometimes comes off a bit dramatic and over the top, radical and what not. But if we make it out of this shit hole, I would love for you guys to get to know him better. He’s really a big teddy bear, I guess that’s why I fell in love with him. Despite all the nicknames he always remained himself, not changing for anyone.” Both girls smile, letting themselves be sucked into your loving words towards the young man in your arms, admiring the way you profess your adoration for him so freely, so deeply. You don’t notice in the moment, but the trailer is no longer silent because of sleeping figures resting against walls and furniture. Instead a comfortable silence falls Steve and the rest of the gang staring at the two lovers in the back of the vehicle, too entranced in each other to even fathom what’s to come.

-

Bidding Nancy Steve and Robin good luck, you watch their figures run off, heading to the Creel house to bait Vecna. Your entire body is shaking, your nostrils registering the putrid smell that holds power over this reverse Hawkins, the cold silence engulfing everything but stricken out by red bolts of energy, crashing in the far distance. Eddie comes over to you, grabbing hold of your hands and holding them right on his warm chest, letting you revel in his comfiness. “ Look at me.” He says softly, trying his best to distract you from your troubled gaze. You lock eyes with him, losing yourself in those beautiful puppy dog eyes, the same eyes that just a few days ago were being used against you in order to get you to come with him on a midnight shake run. “ Tell me, what song do you think Chrissy would like to be avenged to?” he asks, smiling at you as you roll your eyes and smirk, knowing full and well that the little blonde cheerleader would’ve never listened to anything you two blast on the radio and players. “Oh my, I'm not sure. But she seemed like a trendy and up to date gal. You finished learning Master of Puppets?” you grab a hold of his collar, a suppressed laugh making Eddie’s eyes squint so tightly that a small tear is squeezed through. He grabs a hold of your head, kissing your forehead, your cheeks, your nose and finally pressing a warm kiss to your lips. “I love the way you think, you really are Munson’s girl.” he smiles.

-

Your small victory is short- lived, Dustin Eddie and you screaming and poking your spears into the small vent opening your heart racing at the mere thought that the bats could not only get into the trailer, but also fly into the real Hawkins and raise hell to unknown civilians. You watch as Eddie pushes the spikes of his makeshift shield into the roof to cover the vent, quickly making work of getting Dustin back to the safe Hawkins. Eddie pushes you into the opening, watching relieved as you land on your back quickly scurrying off so that your boyfriend can safely fall back in. But he never makes it through, your heart breaking and shattering as you watch him cut the makeshift rope, looking up towards where you are. “I love you so much baby. I know I ran a lot, but I promised to always protect you, you aren’t dating a coward. I promise.”

You never knew how badly such loving words could ever hurt, a gutting yell leaving your lips as you watch the love of your entire soul run off, his heart full of desire to show you that you weren’t dating a coward as he had said. “EDDIE” your sobs barely reach his ear as he smashed through the exit, attracting the attention of Vecna’s entire bat swarm, their screeching replacing your weeping voice. No, he wasn’t a coward, he wanted to be more for you, not be scared any more, he wanted to face his torments, head on and scream a big “fuck you” in its face. He wanted to prove all of Hawkins wrong, he was more than “just a freak”, and you deserved to have a brave man to remember, rather than running, easily scared one.

“Y/N please, please please listen to me you can’t go back, you can't damnit why won't you listen!” Dustin is crying right beside you, shaking from what he’s witnessing, your heart breaking even further. This boy, who had just barely entered his teenage years, didn't deserve this. He needed to be at home, safe, warm, his biggest worry being the classes he would have next time he arrived at school. It wasn’t fair, not to him and not to any of the other kids who had been sucked into this supernatural mess, yet another repercussion of Brenner’s actions. “Shh, shh listen to me Dusty, listen. I need to go back, I need to help him, but I can't do it without you. I need you to stay here, make another rope okay? Go to the closet that's next to the kitchen right there, there’s some spare blankets and covers, tie them up and get that shit ready for when we come back yeah?” You pressed your forehead to Dustin’s, only letting go when you felt his quivering nod, a small sob escaping his swollen lips. You take him into your arms tightly, giving him one last sense of comfort before setting up a nearby chair, running towards it and stepping on it fully to latch your arms against the coiling tentacles of the opening, the freshman below you watching as you grunt swinging your body so that you’ll fall back into the Upside Down.

A yelp and a groan leave your throat, wind slightly wonky as you land on your back rolling over to crawl your way back up to a vertical stance. “Go!” you yell upwards, ushering Dustin to follow your instructions, preparing a second way back into safety. You stumble onto your feet, breath still slightly uneven as you grab your own spear and charge outside, catching a small glimpse of the swarm of bats, heart clenching knowing exactly who they’re aiming for. The second you burst through the gate your stomach sinks, watching your boyfriend fall on the ground. The swarm of wild bats started to close in on him.

“Eddie!” you yell, running as fast you possibly can, knowing in your head that time is precious, the beasts very likely to attack Eddie at any moment, sucking his life force away. For a split second you lock eyes with your lover, tears streaming down his face as he watches large hunks of bats break off from the tornado like cloud above him, heading straight for you, your steps only serving to meet them halfway. Adrenaline is pumping in your veins, drowning out all sounds including the pleads of your desperate partner, urging the flying fiends to focus back on him, to give you a single chance at surviving what was headed your way. But all he can see is you crying out, slashing the spear in your hands wildly, at first managing to kill several of the bats around you by slicing them into halves, but you quickly swarmed yourself, the bats’ speed so ferocious that you start to feel the air around you quickly thin out, Barely able to inhale anything at all as the bats close in on you, not giving up their relentless attack on your lungs. Between flaps of dark wings you catch small flashes of your boyfriend, watching as a bat flies dangerously close to his neck, knicking his jaw and drawing out a small slash of bloody red. At this point you can barely breathe, the bats flying faster, tighter, closer, seemingly aware of what they're doing to you. The only sounds you can hear is your own dry throat, choking, gasping, clinging to any little bit of oxygen that it can push into your lungs. Your vision is becoming blurry, eyes filling up with desperate tears as you watch Eddie cry out in pain, the bats around him now taking this opportunity to slash at him with their choppy fangs, his shirt tattered and beginning to change from a dirty dim white to a splotchy red. You’re crying, choking, no longer holding any hope that either of you would make it, both of you to be found lying lifeless on the cold ground of this cursed place.

A shining light flashes in your vision, disrupting the once dark atmosphere you found yourself in. “Again.” you recognize the voice, it belonging to the man you once used to call Papa. Another flash. “Again!” you feel the pain spreading through your muscles. Random faces start to appear, sunken little faces, without any single strands of hair on their head. “AGAIN” you cry out, so many feelings, memories, flooding back into your body, invading your senses as you begin to burn. “AGAIN!!” The voices are louder, his screams sounding more like whips and slashes, your ears plagued with an array of auditory memories, the sounds of a buzzing at your arm constant through the flashbacks. You open your eyes, which are now irritated and burning, the world slowing down as you map out a handful of bats, their trajectories seemingly aligning with Eddie’s scratched chest. The burning in your body intensifies, a new sound replacing the buzz in your ears, this time a deep rhythmic beat starts playing, a sound you can only credit to your beating heart, the speed of its beats nowhere near healthy. Everything burns, the itching sensation blooming straight from your chest, the bats flapping directly at your boyfriend’s chest now. “I SAID AGAIN.” Brenner’s voice cracks through you like the red bolts of lighting in the sky, your body being swept into the toxic air, hanging.

Eddie can barely register what’s happening, a sizzle reaching his ears as he opens his tightly shut eyes, the impact of those sharp teeth tearing at his skin never arriving. Instead he covers his ears, a new screech replacing every other noise, his eyes not believing the scene before him as he looks out to what is beating against his ear drums. Suspended in mid air is the love of his life, skin glowing with a white-bluish tint that circles around her entire frame like an aura. Thin root-like glows appear all over your body, spreading from your heart out wrapping around your arms like weeds and shooting straight out in a blanket of light. Your nose, eyes and ears leaking with a crimson fluid as your body finally gives out, falling to the ground as his ears catch the small crackle of steps behind him. Behind him are Nancy Steve and Robin, arms held up at their faces as they lock eyes with Eddie, stunned expressions visible all over.

“Eddie…what the hell was that?” an utterly awestruck Steve advances towards him, scanning his body for any serious injuries. Eddie can’t reply, simply scattering on to his feet, kicking up dirt as he stumbles his way over to you. He ignores all the soreness and pain from his body, picking your trembling body up. It’s impossible for his heart not to break, as you hang almost lifelessly, mumbling incoherent words. “Fuck baby, its okay sweetheart we’re gonna get you some help yeah? COME ON MY GIRLFRIEND NEEDS HELP!” Eddie yells at the trio that’s still stuck in their places, his tone urging them to run along with him back to the trailer, time of essence in case you were in danger.

-

You groan softly, not being able to move your body as the smell of some sort of breakfast meat hits your senses. As you open your eyes, adjusting to the rays of light your vision starts to focus. You’re in a dingy little cabin, your vision cut off by a cream colored curtain, sloppily closed. Through the opening Eddie, Steve, Dustin and Nancy emerge, your beloved boy rushing to your side, cooing at you. “Hey hey hey, careful sweet cheeks, you’re fragile right now.” he soothes your ache by placing himself right at your side, allowing you to rest on him. As a large hand opens the curtain fully, you see just how many people are in the Cabin, The Byers Family, a very hippie looking dude standing right next to Jonathan, the Sinclair siblings, the two oldest Wheeler Siblings, Robin, Max, Eleven and to your great surprise, Hopper, alive and well.

‘What the hell happened” your voice is slightly raspy, Mike hands Nancy a glass of water, which she then passes along to Eddie who then brings it up to your mouth as you’re filled in, from the reappearance of Hopper, the very long road trip from California back to Hawkins, Eleven’s whereabouts and of course, the events that happened in the upside down. It takes a second for you to fully process everything, eyes locking with El’s as she comes to kneel right before you, taking your hands in hers. She looks tired, stressed, your eyes taking note of her once more shaven head, an anger building inside of you knowing Brenner was still alive during these years, causing just as much trouble as before.

“You have powers.” She said, catching your full attention. All eyes are on you. “But how, El you saw it yourself, Papa tried everything in the book.” you stare at your hands, starting to shake lightly but calming down the second you feel a pair of long, beautiful arms wrap around you, the scent of musky wood, cigarettes and cheap cologne soothing your broken mind. Eleven smiles shaking her head. “I remember now, Papa… he did not use you. He used us. He wanted to see how powerful you were. But you were scared of Papa, the only time he saw your powers was when you collapsed the power grid. Papa forced me to remember, it was not us, it was only you, that's why he stopped. He was not strong enough to control your power. Only you are.” El’s soft voice spoke clearly, frowning and turning to the rest of the group as your cheeks get’s coated with a single tear, your eyes distant.

“I-I remember.” you whispered, broken. You sob into Eddie’s arms as your mind fully puts together the picture. Brenner tortured you to see what he could milk from you, his own cowardice the reason you felt weak and helpless all this time. Eddie grabs a hold of your chin, making you look at him. “Hey hey hey, look at me. You’re okay baby, you’re okay. You’re more than okay, you're a freaking badass. You saved me, and you saved the others too, you alone did that baby girl, you saved me, kicked those bats into the afterlife and helped save the world. Baby you’re a hero.” he pressed his lips against your forehead, rubbing soothing circles on your back.

“It’s true.” Max chimes in, stepping towards you. “Y/N you saved my life too, Along with El, you guy’s saved me from so much. I was pretty much a goner, I didn’t stand a chance but you killing his hell pets hurt Henry enough for El to finally get him off me” Max smiled, taking El’s hand as they nod. Your own face sporting a small smile of its own realizing this whole encounter wasn't as bad as it could’ve been. “Listen, we can talk about this all we want later, let the kid rest for now.” Hopper called out, ushering everyone away and into the front of the cabin for some breakfast, small bye’s and rest up’s from the mini crowd was sent to you as they all left, a comfortable silence wrapping you and Eddie up.

“Everything’s gonna change now.” you speak up, snuggling right into Eddie’s chest, inhaling his addicting scent, basking in his warmth. “That's fine, my baby’s a freaking superhero, I don’t mind that kind of change.” he laughs, making sure to squeeze you just a little, burying his face in in your hair before whispering, a smirk forming on those beautiful lips “You know this is gonna give you major boosts in Dnd right?”

Fuckkkk yess, Eddie Munson deserves a super cool lightning inducing girlfriend, honestly one of the coolest plots I’ve done. Peace out

7-3-22

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #st4 vol2 #st4 #stranger things 4 #stranger things #eddie #munson

[quercus-queer]

More absurd stranger things “hot takes” from tiktok that I know the intellectuals on tumblr will chuckle at followed by homophobia:

Steve was framed as an asshole in s1 for no reason: he was a douche bag… he used queer as a slur to Jonathan, brought up his abusive father and missing brother as well as his mothers mental health, he was extremely insensitive about Barb, self centered, and slut shamed Nancy for the whole town to see… this starting point is why his development is so good and why everyone is surprised he’s actually a nice person every season afterwards. He wasn’t even right to break the camera, Nancy has agency and the ability to fight her own battles, Steve doesn’t own her. Jonathon and Steve were both assholes and treated as such by the narrative.

Barb gets brought up for no reason and was a bad friend to Nancy: Literally what??? She gets brought up because of Nancy’s guilt for getting her best friend killed??? Barb was a good friend to Nancy. She didn’t want to go to the party but did after Nancy pressured her and told her to “make sure I don’t do anything stupid.” Nancy pressured her to drink, which resulted in her cutting her hand which is why she died. When Barb tried to make sure Nancy didn’t do anything stupid like sleeping with a guy after she’s been drinking, Nancy told her to go home… but she DIDNT. She stayed there to make sure Nancy was okay afterwards and drive her home and ended up dead. Also she wasn’t being clingy because Nancy was “branching out.” Steve was a dick! He was a fucking douchebag hanging around absolute assholes that mocked Barb at every opportunity!!!

Steve’s reaction to Robin coming out was unrealistic: I’ve been seeing comments practically fantasizing about hatecriming gay characters like straight up saying Steve would’ve hit Robin or sneered at her… not even citing the fact Steve used queer as a slur in s1… just wanting homophobia for the vibes… like fuck off it’s not realistic nor is it even in character, Steve’s development includes not being a dick to people different from him

Homophobic reactions to Will and/or Robin coming out: NO CENTRAL CHARACTER IN THE SHOW WOULD HATECRIME OR CALL ANYONE A SLUR. Or even be that weird about it, literally no one. This includes Hopper actually. Joyce, Jonathon, and Hopper have KNOWN Will is gay since s1. Mike, Lucas, and Dustin are Will’s friends and have been dealing with the slurs and bullying Will has faced… they wouldn’t do the same. Robin already came out to Steve. El literally does not know what gay people nor homophobia are unless Jonathon decided to tell her. Nancy is the most likely but she is also too smart for that and rebelling against conformity and her parents lifestyle is her thing. Gay people existed in the 80s!!! And the defining trait of all the characters in the show is that they don’t fit in with society and are outcasts (except for Nancy and Steve… and Hopper) the main theme of the show is unconformity or whatever.

The fucking pronouns thing: They’d just be confused or think you’re stupid, Nancy would probably tell you to get a tutor. Also it is a tv show with monsters who CARES if someone makes a stupid video for the trend. Also again since people forgot, GAY PEOPLE EXISTED IN THE 80s JESUS CHRIST THIS INCLUDES TRANS PEOPLE

Eddie’s bandana means nothing: Nah, the duffers know. Forgetting wills birthday? Bad. However, will also had august 28th as a bday pre-s2 and no other birthdays are ever relevant or even mentioned except for the offhand thing from Suzie. They don’t care about birthdays, character design though? They very much care about that. Eddie is an entirely new character that requires zero continuity… plus he has handcuffs in his room… the show runners know lol. Definitely won’t say anything though because Eddie is gonna die and they don’t want that backlash

#i actually have more to say on all of these posts and may delete this one and make a post for each point #stranger things #steve harrington #will byers #robin buckley #homophobia #tiktok makes me loose brain cells what show are they watching #byler #mike wheeler

[dead-loch]

Chapter 4 of Missing Time is up.

I got back into the groove of things with this chapter, I think. There is one important warning for this chapter (which is noted) and I've expanded on it a little below the cut (read the chapter first pls)

First of all to anyone who experiences traumatic flashbacks during intimate moments, incl. sex, I'm sorry.

I've actually never seen this explored much in fic (not in my lil corner of fandoms anyway) and considering I can, unfortunately, get flashbacks just from reading or seeing something (so, even when the thing isn't happening to me), it's something that I've wanted to explore because it's a real thing that happens and can Fuck With Your Head. And writing is cathartic!

So, I'm definitely weaving lots of my own experiences into Eddie, mainly in terms of how she deals with the fallout of having been in a relationship (of sorts) with Ray.

From him lying to Eddie to manipulate her into opening up about something (Lou/Bushy), to trying to gaslight her when she's rightfully pissed off at him, to him once again bringing up a fresh trauma so that he can throw her off and attack her, and like his entire demeanour changing when he gets upset (idc what anyone says, you could see the kind of person he would be in a relationship and it is SCARY), these things would wreck havoc on you after the fact. Like yeah, obviously it sucked in the moment, but considering he wasn't outright violent with her and didn't let his true colours really show through until the end, and considering he literally has the capacity and propensity for murder, it's easy in the moment and immediate aftermath to say, "I'm okay because I didn't suffer as much as ___".

However, when things have settled, these are also things that are going to hit you pretty hard. It could make you seriously doubt your ability to read people, would create and/or exacerbate trust issues, and knowing that you've been intimate with someone who is capable of harming others is, frankly, fucking terrifying.

With that out of the way, I also wanted to touch base a little on why I am playing out a (sexual/potentially romantic) relationship between Cath & Eddie moving faster than a relationship between Dulcie & Eddie.

Eddie has spent the ENTIRE season trying to convince herself and others that she isn't attracted to Dulcie (whether that's true or not). It's easier for Eddie, now the dust has somewhat settled, to have this relatively safe crush on Cath, especially given that Dulcie has not and will not react in jealousy to the little moments between them. As children (and adults tbh) we often develop crushes on people we have zero chance with, these end up being safe ways we can begin to explore our sexuality.

In this fic, although Eddie has "experimented" (which is canon), it was over 20 years ago, and never developed further than kissing before she was thrown into a world of toxic masculinity (and I'm going to assume it came with the usual misogyny, cis- and heteronormativity, racism, etc) and immediately decided that being the woman of colour on the force was preferable to being the queer woman of colour on the force. I do want to clarify that this wasn't a decision she just made one day. As with most things, it's something that developed over time until it became the new normal.

So, Eddie is realising that she may be developing a (sexual) attraction to Cath earlier than she's realising she may be attracted to Dulcie, too (even though there have been little moments between Eddie/Dulcie already). Cath feels like a safer crush because Eddie doesn't think that Cath would ever cheat on Dulcie.

Finally, shoutout to anyone who has to withdraw completely from human interaction every once in a while. This is something I've come to accept about myself, but it was a long time coming. As a child, whenever we had family anything (dinner, reunion, holiday, etc), I was the one who would disappear off to the basement, or outside, or even in a fking washroom, just to get some peace and quiet because socialising drains me so completely.

It's not exactly the same here in Eddie's case- she spends two days avoiding people because she's trying to sort out her thoughts and doesn't fully understand what she's feeling. But the end result is the same: she didn't want to be away from anyone in particular; she just needed some space for herself.

Bonus: the discussion at the end of the chapter isn't the one I was going to write initially, but Eddie is stubborn and it didn't feel natural for her to confess to any kind of feelings at this stage.

PS: in case this is bothering some people, Dulcie was NOT creeping around Eddie's bedroom. She honestly was just going upstairs lmao

PPS: if you don't think Eddie's capable of giggling (as she does several times when she's drunk in this chap), I urge you to watch Madeleine Sami on Taskmaster NZ.

#deadloch #fanfic #eddie redcliffe #writing #cw sa mention #cw ptsd #trauma #flashbacks

[crystalelemental]

Unit Teambuilding - Halloween Roxanne

Masters has been kinda tame this year.  Granted, I am absolutely spoiled by the early months playing this, going from Anni Lillie, H!Caitlin, SC Jamine, SS Lusamine, and Renegade Cynthia, in rapid succession. I think I have it in my head things should go that well all the time, but they don't. And this year has been...extremely bad about hitting the targets I wanted. I mean for god's sake, how was there no Lusamine alt in the Alola VA? I'm been kinda pissy. The biggest wins have been Emma and Anabel to round out Looker fam, Adaman and Irida because I love Hisui, and the Summer Twins, which was really exciting because it was unexpected rather than it being a big favorite. There just hasn't been much at since, like, before the third anniversary.

But this?  This is what I've been waiting for.  Roxanne's my third favorite character, and the last of my Big Three that needed an alt.  And they went with the witch aesthetic, which is the best aesthetic for Halloween.  Even went Runerigus, which is an odd choice that I wouldn't normally love, but is perfectly in line with her conceptually.  This was the big win.  We're so back.

General Overview Looking at Roxanne's base kit before grid showed up gave me heart palpitations.  Sand Tomb is a fairly poor move, offering trap, but having pathetic accuracy.  We couldn't see the amount she boosted stats at the time, but X Atk All separate from trainer move meant slow self-setup.  Her Buddy move is AoE with penalty, and isn't particularly strong on its own either, so her Tech nuke had to pull a lot of weight.  But more concerning, her Buddy move debuffed speed (and defense).  Which put me on high alert, worrying about Cakewalk.  Roxanne felt like she was being set up to be really bad, unable to stand up to the Ground meta despite how limited the competition was.

And friends, I am thrilled to announce: Roxanne don't miss.  Trainer Move gets +3 crit in one, and +2 accuracy to the entire team.  Her trap spreads to all foes on first hit.  Her Buddy move doesn't just debuff Def/Spd, it boosts team Def/Spd, which is an absolute godsend for Ground-type High Score given the slow pace of the type.  While her buddy move lacks for damage, its debuffing potential and its literal zero gauge cost with team speed boosting completely make up for it.  She even has the option for debuffing attack, which is huge for team survival. And of course, her Tech nuke got Sync Power Flux, which is super reliable given her speed boosting, and Slo-ponnent 5, which is divine, since it can be set up in one use of Buddy move. And for no reason other than pure shenanigans, Roxanne inverts all buffs into debuffs on the entire enemy field when she syncs. And as if that all wasn't enough, as if having the most powerful Ground nuke in the game and all this debuffing and team buffing wasn't sufficient...Strike role.

Obviously, Roxanne is not without her flaws.  With buffing or debuffing, she's slow to get to max multipliers for allies. Her inversion of buffs only happens on sync, which takes a while for CS, limiting the potential of Five Stats +3.  She lacks for any serious healing potential, so despite Vigilance on grid and defense buffs, she's not exactly a soloist for Gauntlet.  Activating Slo-ponnent is also incredibly hard in CS if you're aiming for the buff inversion, and a single use of X Spd All from an enemy means there goes that multiplier.  And Ground has some serious powerhouses.  Cynthia's 5/5 grid is nutty, the Giovannis are quite adept at 3v3s, and Maxie's still particularly strong.  So while competition is limited, it is pretty significant, hurting Roxanne's ability to seriously stand out without the Role cake.

EX, Role, and Move Level? You should max invest immediately.  5/5, EX, with role.  Show them Roxanne is actually super popular so they make another.  Do this for me.

But if you want to be serious, Roxanne has a couple approaches.  As a supplemental pair, 1/5 gets the job done.  Trap effect, boosting team damage and speed, debuffing team Defense, she carries a lot on her back, and does so reasonably well.  3/5 is for sync damage, which is good for when she operates more independently.  And this is when role becomes a serious consideration.  EX obviously good for sync, but the Role.  Tech/Strike is incredibly strong, and very worth considering given how her DPS operates.  Effectively, how you plan to use Roxanne changes what you'll want.  For supportive effects as a Tech, 1/5 non-EX non-role is fine, she'll support her type well.  For a sync nuker with supplemental DPS pair, you'll want to maximize sync, but can avoid the role.  Strike role is for Roxanne becoming the center of attention.

Team 1: H!Roxanne, H!Caitlin, Colress/Courtney ROXANNE CAPS CRIT YOU SAY?  You have no idea how happy I am that she and Caitlin are both Halloween alts that synergize.  Get me a good Jasmine pair next year and we're golden.  For now though, Colress can assist the debuffing effort as needed, though frankly, Courtney may be better for the Zone.

Team 2: H!Roxanne, SC Lyra, Cynthia/Maxie/SS Giovanni Roxanne's single biggest claim to fame within her type is the gauge management.  Zero gauge use on buddy move, and boosts team speed each use.  It's amazing.  This is the component that salvages SC Lyra.  Now you can have the gauge to make her effective with these slow ground types.  Cynthia enjoys the boosts to attack that either Roxanne or Lyra can provide, and her 5/5 will be fine on Sandstorm.  Maxie is tremendous, hitting high AoE DPS on the sides while Roxanne nukes center, just mind the Sun duration.  SS Giovanni is especially noteworthy, because the man sucks and needs a billion gauges, and now he finally has a friend.  Or at least, he thinks they're friends.  We're not friends, Giovanni. Get out of the lodge.

Team 3: H!Roxanne, Piers, Steven Since he's rerunning, may as well discuss this.  Roxanne's ability to boost attack is very nice as a complement to supports that mostly handle crit and little else.  She's also able to boost speed, which is a godsend for slower supports, like Piers.  Taken together, while it puts quite a bit on her, she's able to facilitate boosting up a damage dealer like base Steven, who further supports with a high flinch rate attack that stalls turns for this setup. And because they're Rock Pals, it's thematic.

Team 4: H!Roxanne, Bertha, Cynthia Bertha has potential as a sync nuke, but her trap effect is hard to get on something.  Enter Roxanne, who insta-traps everyone, and provides +2 accuracy for the entire team, allowing Bertha to consistently hit.  Or you can use both, skip a proper support, let Bertha tank, and build up a striker like Cynthia.  You have everything you need here.

Team 5: H!Roxanne, Arianna, S!Hilda Arianna is a known Tech nuking monster, whose conditions are relatively challenging to set up alone.  She needs trap, which she only hits half the time single-target, and she needs Relentless, which she's a little slow to get to.  Roxanne supplements everything she needs perfectly.  Last +2 attack to cap, debuffs defenses, applies trap in one shot to all foes.  With Summer Hilda, you can make the team bulky, invert buffs in CS to really mess with things, and even offload some of Roxanne's tasks by letting hits boost attack and debuff defense.

Team 6: H!Roxanne, Gordie, Sonia Gordie is another big winner of Roxanne, thanks to her ability to facilitate both Cakewalk and Inertia sync nukes.  Because he has both, Roxanne is particularly useful for him.  But his self-setup is a little shaky, so bring a good support like Sonia and you'll be fine.

Team 7: H!Roxanne, SS Acerola, Mallow Alright, here's a fun one: Roxanne can debuff attack with grid, and even supplies Def debuffing and Spd buffing. Which is really good for a partner like Mallow, who effectively wants all of that. SS Acerola can supply the needed Terrain and Sun, and the needed offensive buffs. Mallow can get straight to DPS, while Roxanne does her job with debuffs.

Team 8: Argenta, H!Roxanne, SS N This is one I feel real confident in, because I effectively used it with the Argenta breakdown. H!Roxanne, if she takes the attack debuffs, functions like BT Leon, only instead of one extra -1 on a random stat, she gives the team boosts to speed and defense. Beside her, we have SS N, whose Freeze Shock is absurdly strong, and goes absolutely apeshit on that +2 PMUN bullshit Argenta feeds him. N is easily able to one-shot sides, and Roxanne should be more than capable of nuking center as needed. Because of the attack debuffs, she even sets up N's sync, for whatever good that does anyone. Maybe your opponent otherwise has damage reduction or something, I don't know.

Final Thoughts Roxanne is one of those sync pairs where I can absolutely see the flaws, but I don't care. Realistically, this Buddy move is just a gauge-friendly version of BT Leon, and I barely use him. I shouldn't be so excited about her kit. But it's Roxanne, and I love her. I will be using her constantly from now on.

#unit teambuilding #halloween roxanne

[valiant-if]

31 and 32! 31 just felt appropriate haha

Hi, anon! Thanks for the ask!

31 - What superpower would you choose for them and what would they choose for themselves? If they have one would they choose something else?

CAIT - I don't know that CAIT needs a superpower, and I don't think she would want one either. She's already pretty phenomenal.

Anton - Anton would probably choose something like invulnerability or flight—something that would give him better ability to help people in a very Superman sense. I can't say that I would choose a superpower for Anton at all because, as I said in another post, he's got a bit of a savior complex. He really just needs to learn that he can't always help everyone, and giving him a superpower would not help that.

Switch - She'd be a good choice for invulnerability or superhuman durability of some kind to add to her natural-fighter insticts. That is also what she would choose for herself.

Zero - She would pick something fun for herself, like shapeshifting or super speed. But she'd be a really good pick for some kind of tech-based superpower, like technopathy.

Path - He would pick something like invincibility or immortality for himself, but what he really needs is superhuman empathy or something, because this boy's problem is that he can be pretty remorseless in the way that he deals with people.

Kiran - They would pick something like superhuman intelligence, but, similar to Path, she could do with some superhuman empathy. Kiran understands emotions on an intellectual level, but they don't on an emotional one. Being able to actually understand people and put himself in their shoes would be very beneficial.

Yulia - Yulia would pick literally anything that woud make it easier for her to do her job. Superhuman intelligence or telekinesis would be good choices, as well as any superpower that would allow her to skip out on sleep so she could get more work done.

Hex - Hex would probably get the most use out of something like superhuman reflexes or durability, considering the kind of shit he gets into with his job. But he'd pick something fun and cool, like some kind of elemental manipulation. Pyrokinesis or something.

A2 - Honestly, she probably doesn't need superpowers because she's just enough of an asshole to be legitmately dangerous if she had any and felt so inclined to cause some trouble. But she'd pick for herself something like telepathy or superhuman intelligence, something that would make her unparalleled in her field of work.

32 - If they could change one thing about themselves what would it be?

CAIT - She would want to understand humans better.

Anton - ...have I mentioned his savior complex? He'd want whatever would make him better at helping people effectively. Don't get me wrong, though. Anton is a bleeding heart nice-guy when he has room to be, but sometimes helping people means doing something ruthless, like executing dangerous criminals. I guess, in that respect, I could narrow it down to this: He would want to be smarter, so that he can make better judgments about who to help and who to hurt.

Switch - She'd make herself more trusting. She knows she can be suspicious, bordering on paranoid, but it's very ingrained in her.

Zero - She'd want to stop caring about certain people in her life that she shouldn't care about. Namely a father who wasn't a good parent to her and isn't a very good person in general.

Path - Maybe this doesn't really count, but he would change things that happened to him in his youth. He's experienced some pretty severe trauma, and it's made him into a not-always-very-good person. He wishes he could go back and change what happened to his younger self.

Kiran - Kiran would say there's nothing about himself that he needs to change. But, between us, they could do with being more personable.

Yulia - She'd want to be less of a workaholic. As much as she loves work, she's not blind to the fact that she's missing out on a lot in life to do.

Hex - He wouldn't want to change anything. He's pretty happy with the person that he is now, and it took him a long time to get to that emotional place.

A2 - She wouldn't change anything, and she'd be a little overly-defensive if anyone asked her this question to her face. Between us, she could stand to be a lot nicer.

Thanks again for the ask! 😊

#character asks

[bluejaybytes]

snuffles in your ask box... maggie. objects 4 and 12 food and drink 1 mind body and soul 3, 4, 11, and 14. if this is too many just do whichever ones u want

Haiiiiiiiii firstly no such thing as too many questions #questionsweep i will always answer questions

4. Is there an item your character liked that they can’t get back?

Her laptop </3 She loves that thing to bits but it's completely destroyed when she uses it as a blunt force weapon. TECHNICALLY she could just get herself a new laptop, but not only do they not make laptops in that model anymore (It's old as helllllll), but she's also got the "sentimental about every object ever" autism and misses HER laptop specifically </3

12. Does your character personify objects?

Not super. A little bit, she'll use he/she pronouns for objects you wouldn't traditionally, but she doesn't really personify them much, though as mentioned in the last answer, she gets reeeeeeal attached to them anyways and feels MISERABLEEE when her stuff breaks </3

What flavor would your character say their personality is?

Hmm... she'd probably answer with "sour" but not in the way of like, the actual act of Someone Being Sour, she just likes sour food. I feel like if you wanted to get complex with it she'd say like. a salad dressing of some kind. This makes sense to me I PROMISE

3. Is your character more prone to fight or flight?

FLIGHTTTTTTTTT GIRL STOP RUNNING!!!!!!! Though she's seen her way through the whooole spectrum, her original death has her response as freeze, and when she thinks there's a second break-in down the line, her response is fight (That's where her laptop gets broken </3 RIP Maggie's laptop). Overall though her panic response tends to be "get me the fuck out of here" and her kind of extended breakdown she has at the end has her literally just running away repeatedly

4. Does your character believe in myths and fairy tales?

YESSSS very much so. Given that she's spent her entire life being told ghosts aren't real when They Very Much Are and she KNOWS they are, basically every other myth or fairy tale or anything she's told isn't true she's a LOT more skeptical on the person telling her its not true. Generally she doesn't fully believe in like, magic creatures or anything, but like... she definitely believes in bigfoot. She's probably one conversation away from believing in mothman. And even with "doesn't believe in magic creatures" she'd lean more in the way of "there's some supernatural element at play, but not outright magic". The only thing she definitively does NOT believe in is alien encounters, since she CONSTANTLYYY gets ghosts telling her they'll tell her where aliens are kept in exchange for favors, and they're NEVER telling the truth

11. Does your character have strong willpower?

Hmm... probably not. But that's kind of the point. She's very much grown up being told she's wrong about how the world works despite knowing clear as day everyone else is wrong, but she's also very nonconfrontational, so while she's not giving up on her beliefs easily, she's very quick to just shut down and let people do whatever they want and she'll just let them run their course without correcting them. She also has like... zero willpower in trying to make herself do anything </3 Executive dysfunction SWEEP

14. Is there a secret thing your character longs to hear?

She wants literally anyone to tell her she's not crazy. She wants apologies from her parents and her brother for never believing her. The only people who support her status as a medium are people who clearly don't know what they're talking about, or people who are just saying she's not to try and reason with her rather than actually believe her because they know she's right. At this point she doesn't tell anyone about her seeing ghosts, because it's easier than having to deal with people who don't believe her, or people who want her to perform stupid party tricks with her ability, but she so desperately wants someone who actually resonates with her and understands even a modicum of what she's experienced. She does Not vocalize this however because it just gets met with MORE pitying and in general just not the responses she wants, plus she's intensely nonconfrontational and Voicing Her Opinions is part of that

#thank youuuuu <3 #my OCs #maggie #my favorite sadgirl... i promise shes not completely pathetic 24/7 she's just got So Much Going On #+ for the last one she DOES actually get an apology from her brother and parents #her brother was always the better out of the three of them when it came to believing her but even he was always pretty clearly nnnot- #-being honest when he said he believed her and was just saying that to support her #she also SOMEWHAT gets the other part with how Jenna basically instantly goes along w her when she tells her she can see ghosts #but unfortunately while theyll be Girl Best Friends in due time it still is very much a situation where Maggie kinda knows shes either #1. not telling the truth and just trying to tell her what she wants to her or 2. doesnt know what shes talking abt #luckily that doesnt last too long as Jenna is shown pretty definitive proof that everything is real and Maggie's seen her be pretty normal- #-abt everything. plus she has no other options so jot that down- #See Maggie's suffering from this fatal disease called 'Being 17 Disease' where shes 17

[thequietmanno1]

Thelreads, MHA 288, Replies Part 2

1) “Welp, sorry miss, but he’s dead. If not literally right now, he’ll be in a few minutes, there’s a fucking mountain about to meet him”- Well, if the husband was real, then Toga almost certainly had to stab him too before getting a sample of his wife’s blood, so his odds of surviving are slim to none.

2) “….

no… it can’t be Toga, right? I mean, Machia is still a bit far, there’s no way she would get here that quickly considering he’s moving around 100km/h

…right?”- Toga’s drive to answer her burning questions apparently gives her super-speed.

3) “Oh no wait there she is

and she seems to be a speedster

We found koichi’s cousin, and she’s about to fucking die.”- Or was dead all along. 4) “FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK I FUCKING KNEW IT FUCKMOTHERFUCKING FUCK

HOW IN THE FUCK’S NAME DID YOU GOT HERE THAT FAST TOGA, EVEN IF YOU USED THE QUIRK FROM THAT WOMAN I DOUBT YOU COULD OUTRUN THE MOUNTAIN”- Toga’s disguise bursting when Urarak says she’ll save “Takeo” – who is basically a stand-in for herself and her own attraction to Izuku and Uraraka – all whilst blushing and naked because of her Quirk certainly caused some….interesting discourse on the internet when this chapter first came out. It almost looks like she couldn’t keep control of herself when she thought (in her own head) Uraraka was reciprocating her feelings. 5) “Nice face there Uraraka, unfortunately, remember that Toga is a ninja”- Were it not for the circumstances, Uraraka’s reactions almost feels like her dealing with a clingy girlfriend who keeps popping up in her life when she least expects her. It’s certainly a nicer way of looking at their situation than one traumatised girl desperately seeking support and affection from the only other person in her very small social circle she can think of to help her deal with the loss of a dear friend.

6) “Yeah see? She’s probably standing right by your side, but you can’t see her because she’s just that good at being stealthy.”- Toga prepped this battleground in advance before luring Uraraka into it. Tight confines to limit the extent she can get lifted about by Zero Gravity, dark rooms to help lower Uraraka’s visibility, and multiple connecting rooms to allow her to move into her blind spots quickly. In retrospect, she moved even faster than expected from Machia to find this place and set it up before reaching Uraraka.

7) “Which kinda describes how he’s looking 80-90% of the time. Honestly, that boy could look like he fought a bear and lost badly while coming out of the shower.”- The only fight that Izuku has walked away from where he didn’t look like he’d fought a combine harvester and lost was against Overhaul, and only because he was getting healed non-stop during it.

8) “Alright, it’s time for it. Time for her to put the cards on the table and know the truth, is she a monster to be killed, or is she a human to be saved”- Toga sadly needed more advice on how to actually frame her question, without it coming across as ambiguous flirting with the object of her interest. Another thing she might have had an easier time with if anybody had given her the help she needed.

9) “Oh thank god you had some clothes thrown around Toga, but still, that was quite the fast change you made, were you practicing this?”- Between this and the speed boost she’d have needed to set up this battlefield ahead of Machia, I choose to believe the power of Horny transforms Toga into the Flash. I mean sure she has other motivations, but you know that’s at least a contributing factor as well.

10) “Toga please can you be a bit more specific it really looks like you’re flirting with her rather than making a deep philosophical question about your own worth

I mean, you are kinda flirting with that knife and all, but please focus girl”- Toga is, for all her skills and abilities, still a young girl that was raised in an environment that didn’t put in enough effort into understanding her needs and perspective, instead expecting her to be the one to eventually understand if the lesson was drilled into her time and again. All this did was lead to her repressing her instincts until they exploded, and as a result, Toga is very bad at expressing herself when it comes to conversations like this. She’s good at showing her emotions and acting on them, but bad at explaining why this matters so much to her, especially since she doesn’t bring up Jin’s fate, still too damaged by processing his loss to realise that Uraraka wouldn’t assume that a hero would kill somebody in the line of duty, and thus that Toga’s asking her if she’s somebody who deserves to be saved or destroyed like a rabid animal. 11) “See Toga, that’s why you need to be more direct with your questions, Uraraka thinks you just did a really roundabout way of asking her out”- I couldn’t help but notice that Uraraka didn’t say no to the idea of another girl asking her out, just that it was neither the time or the place for it. 12) “Uraraka didn’t knew what was going on in Toga’s heart at the moment, she just stated a fact, she needs to stop her since she’s a villain endangering innocent people, but… Oh god this is not end well”- Uraraka is motivated to act by the loss of Nighteye, feeling that she failed to do something that could have saved his life, whereas Toga is motivated by Jin’s loss, feeling like her life is now in danger from the same heroes that deemed it necessary to kill him and wanting conformation from someone – anyone – that they see her as more than a monster to be put down. Neither fully expresses their innermost thoughts, so neither fully understands the other. 13) “I’m kinda hoping she’ll go back to the league, but at the same time I don’t know if she’s willing to do so. This is being quite the hellish day for her, and Dabi is there being an asshole, not helping at all- I don’t know if she won’t go her own way. If she’s a monster, what reason does she have to be with the rest of them? Because I know that Toga doesn’t see them as monsters, as villains, she sees them as people first.And, that is the one thing Uraraka implied by accident she isn’t.”- At the end of the day, the League is the only place where Toga can not only be herself without judgement, but feel safe and protected by her friends. And now those friends are all being taken away from her one by one, to her mind all of it resulting from the oppression of the same system that demonised her ever since she was a child. You can’t help but feel sorry for her, because in many ways, she’s just as much a victim of this war as Twice.

@thelreads

#my hero academia #bnha #chapter replies #thelreads #mha 288

[aalghul]

Jason Todd’s Childhood Friends

I’m pretty sure these are all of them but if I missed any, let me know!

EDIT: I forgot Chris, so thanks @leoruby-draws for reminding me. (This is another edit actually. I just saw this get a reblog and I suddenly remembered where Danny and Jason being friends came from.) @janestvalentine reminded me of Donald Brinks.

While I’m here again anyways, I just want to say that I’m not including Roy based off that one three page short story. Roy was a whole adult with a child when Jason was 11 going on Titans missions with them. N52 is on something else and I’m not acknowledging it.

In chronological order:

Donald Brinks: Batman (1940) Annual #9 mentions that Jason worked on a school project with Donald. It’s probably not enough proof, but Bruce remembered him kindly. I wouldn’t doubt that Bruce just memorizes any name Jason ever dropped, but we can pretend.

Eddie: In Blue Devil #19, we have Kid Devil and Robin being the absolute cutest babies the world of sidekicks has to offer, and finding out (through their letters, because they’re adorable pen-pals) that they’re after the same criminal. I can guarantee that you have never seen anything more adorable than the tiny pen-pal wonder and his also tiny friend.

Rena: First appearing in Detective Comics #561, Rena was an immediate love interest of Jason’s (literally at first sight lol), and then she instantly invited Jason to get high with her after school. Spoiler: they didn’t, Jason eventually ends up busting the gang that was putting pressure on her, then they’re a couple (of babies). She moved around a lot, every year or so, because of her dad’s job, so she had a bit of a problem with loneliness and not fitting in. Despite all of the drug talk, my girl really was a good kid.

Danny Chase: Right before he figured out that Jason had died, he mentioned that he had called Jason, “Toddster”, earlier that week. The casual phone call and nickname do lean in favour of them being friends, despite never having interacted (because Jason’s time on the Titans had been explicitly confirmed to have carried over from pre-crisis, but he didn’t interact with any of them on panel post-crisis).

Chris: I originally forgot him, but honestly that’s probably for the best. N52 is famous for bad decisions and not knowing how time works, and a very good example of that is Red Hood and the Outlaws (2011) #25 (Zero Year tie-in) having taken place before Jason was even adopted by Bruce, but for some reason he’s already fifteen. That’s not even mentioning how annoying I found the way Talia’s fighting ability was downgraded. Moving onto Chris, himself, though. I’m sure people could argue that he’s a good foil for Jason as a street kid, but I think it’s stupid + he’s annoying. I’ll give him points for including Jason in his (stupid) idea because he wanted him to benefit too, and that he sided with Jason at the end when he could have just ignored him and stayed with the other Red Hoods. But then he only gets more annoying, so.

Gabby: Red Hood/Arsenal #4 shows us Jason being recognized by a waitress at a diner in Gotham, him also remembering her as soon as she did so. Everything about their interaction and the quick flashback is so important because it’s calling back Jason characterization as a kid who had to be rough to help himself and others, all aspects of that being a defence mechanism of some sort. Jason takes a moment to ruminate over how much better his life would be if Batman hadn’t taken him in, not muse that he would be some sort of criminal. I would love to see more that, if writers want to talk about what would have happened to Jason without Bruce so bad. The fact that Gabby triggered that thought in him, as well as reminded him that he was a good kid and helped people long before the cape, really shows that she had weight in his life. She even knew and cared about him enough to deal with when he lashed out. I would complain about Jason implying that he doesn’t care about people, but with the context of the rest of their interaction, it’s obvious that Jason’s self perception is not intended to match the reality. I like what that says about how he perceives his actions and how he thinks others might. His choosing to just help her out with that money but decide to stay out of her life is so typical Jason. I mean that both fondly and derogatorily.

Numbers: Gotham Nights #11. In a home like Ma Gunn’s, while we know he was already a target for the other residents and undoubtedly other people as well, he chose to take the punishment for something he knew Jason had done. All because Jason had been the first to show him kindness after he had already been beaten down by life as a child. It wasn’t the most clear or well done, but I liked that there was subtle commentary on how some people didn’t get to escape a life of crime when conditions force them into it. This story provides proof for why Jason wouldn’t just kill henchmen and people he didn’t deem personally deserving by having chosen to commit unforgivable acts. It’s proof of that choice being the more interesting concept, at least. As with Gabby, Jason doesn’t give Numbers the option of reconnecting with Jason after he has helped Numbers. Not surprising since we’ve seen Jason leave people before they leave him often (example: how he broke it off with Roy Harper).

Dana: She only existed for Red Hood: Outlaw #52 and #52, but she is easily the best original character to come out of RHATO. She’s my personal favourite for so many reasons (it’s literally two issues, please read them), but her friendship with Jason is wonderful too. Considering Dana’s filling him on everything, introducing him to her friends, and that he didn’t know about her being a vigilante before #52 or her dad’s leg, we know they didn’t really get to catch up before Jason left Gotham after UTRH. It’s probable that Dana didn’t even know he was alive until the Iceberg Lounge thing. We know she’s been watching over his old apartment, possibly since he first got adopted by Bruce. They were probably very close when they were kids if that’s the case. Especially since her dad remembered him easily and even characterized him as “polite” and having been “skinny”, all immediately after meeting him again. Same goes for Dana’s sister, Denise, who Jason got along with easily as soon as she showed up, even though they hadn’t talked in years.

Max: Oh, Max. Firstly, I hate this art. Now. Truth & Justice as a whole was a mess because it missed its intention by a whole lot. Seriously, I know DC wanted people to think of it, and I also know that they put effort into making it clear that they don’t care. #10-13 are about Jason attempting to solve the murder of his childhood best friend, Max Dawkins. Max’s death was set up to look like an overdose, but Jason knew that Max would never touch drugs so he set off to find his killer. He does eventually find that killer, Scarecrow, and then there’s some fear gas, an “I trust you.” from Batman, blah blah. Jason is very emotional throughout the entire story, not even attempting to hide how torn up he is over Max’s death. Max gets nothing but praise for Jason and the narrative itself. However, none of that erases that Max’s death was just to give a white boy something to be sad about. It’s more white bs in a comic filled with white saviourism at every turn.

That aside, their friendship truly is beautiful. Jason straight up says that Max was someone he could always trust to be there for him on the streets, and Jason doesn’t usually say stuff like that. This is another case of Jason walking out of someone’s life while helping them, but it feels more tragic because there’s no possibility for a resolution. Just little Robin helping his friend from the shadows and watching his grow.

#jason todd wayne #red hood #eddie bloomberg #Kid Devil #dana harlowe #strike dc #ok NOW i think ive got them all

[izusun]

Goblin anon here absolutely screeching over feral quirkless Midoriya, it's everything I wanted

I would like to also introduce a brand (my brand) of feral to Midoriya: pyromaniac.

Imagine Midoriya getting through the entrance exam by saving people, but also by bringing makeshift Molotov cocktails and wrecking almost as much shop as Bakugou.

Imagine the battle trials where Bakugou tries to blow up the building because "that's the only way to keep this little shit down" and in response Midoriya dodges and then sets the building on fire.

Imagine the USJ incident, which goes about the same, but his first instinct is to set the Noumu on fire. Yes he does so. He also nearly sets the stadium on fire at the sports festival so much that they had to evacuate sections of the stadium.

Midoriya (say it with me now) sets Stain on fire. When Tsukauchi meets with the murder trio after the Hosu incident, he just sighs and is like "Midoriya, really?" And this is when we learn that Midoriya has a history of coming across random villains and setting them on fire. When Inko arrives to pick him up she's just like "You're grounded."

There's theories about what Midoriya's quirk, everything from increased intelligence to extremely shitty luck to the ability to make anything he touches explodes (due to his inane ability to make a bomb/lighter out of the most insane things). When it comes out that he's quirkless, it just makes everyone even more afraid, as Midoriya can make a bomb out of some LSD and a rubber duck quirkless-

Pyromaniac quirkless Midoriya.

- Goblin anon

GOBLIN ANON IT’S BEEN AGES IM SORRY IM JUST RESPONDING NOW (ive been so bad at responding asks my god i struggle but thank u for ur au dumps, i love loVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!)

IM IN LOVE WITH THIS AU

feral quirkless gremlin midoriya going through shit by setting things on fire is just the way to go im duwldjwksk

i read midoriya with molotov cocktails and i have not stopped simping for and thinking about this midoriya

genuinely swooning at this ver of him

midoriya probably has a collection of lighters and basically does those hand tricks to calm him down or to take his mind off of things

bakugou and midoriya being more familiar with each other in their middle school days compared to canon and bakugou gifting midoriya with personalized all might lighter god that’s adorable

ok but they’re talking about their favourite heroes and bakugou goes, “shocking that you don’t like endeavour.”

and midoriya just shrugs, twisting his hand and fingers to orchestrate the fire’s dance from his lighter, his viridian eyes brighter and says, “his fire feels wrong.” and they leave it at that

midoriya being inspired by bakugou’s explosions and attempting to copy those so bad that bakugou thought midoriya’s trying out for support classes

OK BUT FIGHT WITH SLUDGE VILLAIN?

he yanks out makeshift molotov cocktails from his bag, lights them up and throws them at the bastard. the sludge villain screams and retreats slightly because not only was he facing the fires but also the exploded glass shards. it gave enough time for bakugou to explode the villain and escape enough to allow him to breathe. in the end, all might still defeats the sludge but he misses bakugou and midoriya who escaped. no ofa for firey green bean.

bakugou helping midoriya create more explosions.

“but kacchba i want fire, not explosions!”

“same difference you pyro asshole!”

midoriya learns them anyways and enjoys it.

THE EXAM!!

i have two ways:

one: midoriya appealed to the staff that he needed support items and they allowed him and they watched in shock as this little boy explodes the arena worse than the explosion-quirked student. of course he passes and aizawa took him on as his student.

two: midoriya appealed to the staff that he needed his support items but the staff did NOT allow him because they’re considered weapons (as if quirks are not genetic weapons but i DIGRESS) and so when the exam starts, he stays at the very back of the other examinees. this was so that when he arrives at the scene, there are already spare parts for him to scavenge so that he can build makeshift explosions (foregoing whatever shit he learned from katsuki because all that’s on his mind right now are molotov cocktails)

so that’s what happens. he scavenges parts and hides inside one of the buildings so that he can focus more on making explosions and be less worried about being attacked. when he was fully geared, he steps out and begins to retaliate.

he works fast as to not waste his time and the makeshift explosions. because of this, others (ahem-aoyama-ahem) had no opportunity to steal his score.

same thing happens: uraraka gets caught and midoriya explodes the zero pointer. this time, however, the robot is utterly destroyed.

aizawa and majima saw midoriya’s performance, adored it, and began fighting for midoriya.

“majima, he’s here for the hero classes.”

“great. now give him to me.”

nezu pretends that he’s not planning on splitting midoriya’s schedule anyways.

BATTLE TRIAL OH MY GOD rip all might i bet you keeled over so bad, you were one second from turning to small might there and then.

all might: ok so one explodey kid to look out for. that’s not bad.

all might, one minute later: this green kid looks familiar…

all might, ten minutes later: what the fuck.

NO BECAUSE bakugou and midoriya being excited to explode things (well, more like midoriya’s excited and bakugou just wants to fight midoriya) and having a blast when fighting each other.

1a’s probably thinking “oh no” followed by “they’re hot” (literally too because yk the building’s on fire.)

MIDORIYA EXPLODING THE NOUMU??? king shit

midoriya saw this monster running to aizawa and he just points a more eloquent looking flame thrower (thank u mei for working with midoriya with that) at this beast and sets it on fire.

it effectively slowed the noumu and gave the others an opportunity to pull aizawa from the hit zone. it also granted all might more freedom when fighting the noumu because it was slowed enough that all might didn’t have to worry about exceeding his time limit.

the fire damaged some of its nerve processes that the scientist and afo had not accounted for. of course this review is returned to them and many of the noumus become fireproof because of this incident.

OK BUT DURING THE SPORTS FEST

midoriya crushing on todoroki because fire.

he was actually very interested in todoroki prior to sports fest but something about todoroki’s fight against sero sparked something more in midoriya. midoriya saw the anger from his ice, now he wants to see the same intensity from his fire.

his spiel of “that’s your power, todoroki” goes differently. todoroki still pulls him aside and trauma dumps on him but this time he goes, without missing a beat, “that fire is a waste on you.”

todoroki full body pauses because that’s not something he’s ever, well, considered to hear after trauma dumping.

“what?” he croaks, confused at the bubbling feeling. it’s a miasma of anger and hurt, but to a scale so unfamiliar.

midoriya shrugs. “fire is unique, more so as an elemental quirk. you think it doesn’t make half of you—well, i mean you’re right. it doesn’t. you make it. you control it. fire is often uncontrollable and yet here you are, having it as your power. it’s yours to control, so control it. use it.”

todoroki’s ears are ringing.

“you have it as your power.”

“so control it.”

and so he did.

midoriya watched todoki’s fire; watched the way the flames lick up up up and leaves no air bathed in heat. midoriya sees the rawness of anger and determination and thinks, “this is how fire should always look like.”

unconsciously he also thinks how todoroki’s fire is far more beautiful than endeavour’s.

midoriya loses and he’s not as sad about it. losing to something sentient (fire, not todoroki), for him, is a blessing.

todoroki advances along with bakugou.

bakugou who is jealous of todoroki because he saw how midoriya eyed todoroki’s fire and knew todoroki’s a competition in other more ways.

bakugou wins again, this time less angry because todoroki used his fire against him.

STAIN THINKING MIDORIYA’S JUST THIS WEIRD HERO STUDENT WHO HAS NO SPECIFIC QUIRK UNTIL HE FEELS FLAME KISS HIS SKIN AND SCREAMS BECAUSE DAMN IT GREEN EYED KID JUST SET HIM ON FIRE

todoroki full on pausing because he thought he’s the one who set stain on fire unconsciously only to follow the fire’s trail and sees it’s from one of midoriya’s many support items.

“shoot i didn’t mean to burn him that fast!”

“that’s your issue!?”

midoriya gives them a “duh?” look and todoroki feels himself warming up (HAH another fire pun) at midoriya’s ease.

flying noumi still comes and picks him up but midoriya also sets this thing on fire. the difference between a winged noumu and a normal noumu is that the wings are far more flammable and midoriya had quite a bit of fun at setting it on fire and hearing the crackling of flames on rubbery wings.

endeavour casts him a glance that speaks of approval and midoriya doesn’t know if he hates it or not.

tsukauchi arrives and sees not only stain, but the noumu and heaves up a very big sigh. “midoriya, really?”

GOBLIN! PYROMANIAC QUIRKLESS MIDORIYA IZUKU IS A FAVE IM SCREAMING

#goblin anon #ask #IM BACK W GOBLIN RAMBLINGS #god im still simping for tbis midoriya #goblin anon KNOWS where to HIT what a fella #bnha #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #todoroki shouto #slight #bakudeku #and #tododeku

[flying-nimbus-cloud]

Aight Peter Maximoff stans, I want to point out some plot holes and unanswered questions about "Ralph Bohner"

WandaVision Spoilers:

(I am in currently listening to Sweet Dreams/80s music while writing this very drunk, determined and in immense denial. 😁🤘)

(Pls read, my drunk smol brain worked hard on dis 😘👉👈)

Ralphs name. Why doesn't Ralph Bohner have a hex name and a real name? Unless "Pietro" was essentially his hex name. But I truly believe that Wanda unintentionally or otherwise wouldn't name some random civilian "Pietro", right? Like how Sarah was named Dottie at random, wouldn't that be the case for Ralph also? From what was shown it made it out to seem he's called Ralph Bohner in and out of the hex.

From episode 1-5 Agatha spoke about Ralph like he was her husband for some reason. Why did he only appear in episode 5 if she had Ralph under her control to use to her benefit from the very beginning? It's just odd.

Agatha's abilities. Agataha had shown Wanda that can perform illusions(like how she turned a bug into a bird). So... why didn't she make Ralph look like Wandas brother if she can make illusions? Especially after going through the trouble of picking a guy that acts nothing like Wandas brother and giving him powers? Agathas power scale confuses me so much.

Why did Wanda recognize Ralph Bohner when he showed up at her door? The explanation "Cause magic" would feel so cheap. I seriously don't understand this. Wanda despite her fragile mindset would be like, "Who are you? You don't look like my brother. You don't act like him. He's dead(Wanda definitely knows that internally.) The only thing you both have in common is the superpowers. Y'all move fast." Now if it was Peter Maximoff from another universe I'd assume that Wanda can sense he's her sort-of brother but not really. Almost like somethings a little off....at least that's what I thought, but nope. He's a random person apparently, so there isn't that instinctual connection. So then why the recognition at all?

The alarm. In episode 5 right when Ralph appears at Wandas door some random ass alarm goes off at Swords base outside the hex. Why?? Peter Maximoff fans and myself thought that was him possibly entering the hex somehow. But apparently not...so what was that exactly?? Of course that was never explained.

Ralphs superspeed. So, y'all telling me that Agatha had not only forcibly put a necklace on Ralph to control him to be her "eyes and ears" BUT ALSO gave him LITERAL superpowers?? All of that is completely glossed over. Mf at Marvel will probably say, "Cause Magic" smh.

Jimmys missing guy. There's unfortunately a lot to debunk this theory, but I could still see it being a possibility. Jimmy along with Monica and Darcy all saw the TV when Ralph was on it, but Jimmy never said a word. An interesting point though is the fact that this witness protection person was never brought up again, which is really fucking weird. More shit left unanswered. Could it be "Ralph"? We don't know.

The house. Ralph Bohner is supposedly a struggling actor. At least that's the explanation many have said is the reason as to why he has a random headshot of himself laying about his man cave. But then how does he live in that big ass family home? Plus that house ain't actually Agathas, she came into WestView looking for Wanda to find answers about the hex. That wasn't originally her house. With Ralph looking like the broke ass himbo he is...how could he afford to live there if he supposedly lived as a civilian in that town to begin with??? Make this make sense lol.

Ralph chuckled at his name. Aight aight I know this is a stretch, but hear me out; If you had a dumbass name that sounded weird, you'd probably be used to people making fun of it or saying it wrong, right? You'd maybe even get tired of hearing the silly name your entire life. But when Monica said Ralphs name, he chuckled like one would at their silly fake name and not their real name. That's at least how my dumbass would react to someone saying a funny name I choose for myself. And honestly "Ralph Bohner" truly sounds like a name that Peter would choose lol. Unless WandaVisions writing team said, "Evan, we want you to laugh at your name like you've never heard anyone pronounce Bohner like Boner before." Or maybe Ralph didn't know his own name because he was under Agathas control still...or something.

Why "Ralph Bohner"? K so lets just say we all accept that they stunt casted Evan Peters and he is and always will be a nobody named Ralph Bohner. Marvel knew- no, knows that fans of Evan Peters Quicksilver and the X-Men would get hyped up bout him when they made that glorious reveal in episode 5. So they really dragged that expectation out for 3 weeks, to leave it off on a dick joke? Nah, Marvel/Disney can't be that stupid right?....right?

They gave us some hope and hefty amount of evidence(that isn't listed all here) that Ralph could be Peter Maximoff because of some Multiverse shenanigans....

But then they left it like...this?

Tis very strange of Marvel to think people wouldn't notice how they kinda, sorta baited fans if left like this.

I literally had no crazy theories for this entire show, everything Marvel I take with stride with almost zero expectations...then my boy Evan Peters showed up and my ass finally had some hope to see my comfort character make an appearance in the MCU...which ironically ended in a dick joke. The universe said, "Nah fam, you can't hope for shit lol 🤡"

Anyways, I'd like if this could give some evidence to those still willing to believe that Ralph Bohner is Peter Maximoff. With so many unanswered questions and plot holes with his character, it just feels wrong for him to be nobody...y'know?

Also I'm sorry if this gives you false hope lol.

Love y'all, Peter Maximoff stans are sweet as heck. 💕

#evan peters #peter maximoff #ralph bohner #quicksilver #pietro maximoff #fietro #wanda vision #wandavision spoilers #wandavision #agatha harkness #wanda maximoff #scarlet witch #marvel comics #marvel studios #mcu #xmen #x men #marvel #disney #jimmy woo #darcy lewis #monica rambeau

[soft-october-night]

The Love Interests in the Works of Jane Austen: An Assessment

This is an "extremely scientific" and "thoroughly researched" ranking based on personality, money, family and connections, and is a bit of a blend between the book characterizations and the film characterizations (and is in no way only based on my own opinions). Here we go, grouped by book but not much else.

Edmund Bertram: absolute trash. His family has treated you unbelievably shitty since day one and not only has he BARELY noticed, he ALSO has treated you shitty. Will fall in love with someone beautiful and fun and when she dumps him will come crawling to you for a rebound. His passion for you is so lackluster that even the esteemed author who wrote about it barely spared a paragraph on your relationship. Has a job but only because his dad owns the land the church is built on. You’ll gain no connections or family by marrying him, since he’s literally your cousin.  0/10

Henry Crawford: There IS such thing as too much fun, and that is never clearer than in this man, who will try to seduce you as a game, freak out when his middling overtures don’t work and then try and seduce you “for really real” this time. You will definitely move up in the world if you marry him, and if you play your cards right it seems like his sister is also just REALLY into you, so see how that goes. Life will be pretty okay until you find him in bed with one (or more, who knows) of your relations. 3/10, 8/10 if you’re into that

John Willoughby: Will be like something out of a romance novel, you’re thinking he’s going to propose and then he just fucking ghosts you and embarrasses the fuck out of you at a party by acting like he doesn’t know you. Somehow marry him (congrats on the inheritance you must have, btw) and get ready to take a backseat to the whims of his aunt for as long as she lives. 1/10, at least you get to live in a nice house.

Edward Ferrars: Oh Edward. He’s a bit of a mess, isn’t he? Super kind, your family loves him, he made a bunch of stupid decisions in his youth that are coming back to bite him in the ass. He is loyal to an absolute fault, but you luck out when his fiance turns out to be a bit of a gold digger and dumps him when his mom disowns him. He doesn’t have a job and neither do you, but his family doesn’t wanna speak to him (lucky you!) and you’ll be happy and poor together if you two can work on your communication skills. 7/10.

Colonel Brandon: He’s got a nice house, the respect of his friends and the community, and he has a LOT of passion. He’ll give your sister’s penniless husband a job, dramatically rescue you from a rainstorm, make sure his dead girlfriend’s daughter is happy and taken care of even after your ex fucks HER over too, and is all around a pretty decent guy. Just. Uh. Maybe, kinda, sorta, needs to go after women his own age and is probably with you because you remind him of his dead girlfriend. 5/10 with the wildly inappropriate age gap, 9/10 without it.

Mr. Wickham: Please don’t. He’s a thirsty bitch who lives for drama and you think he’s fun until you find out he tried to sleep with one teenage girl and is making eyes at your fifteen year old sister behind your back. Marry him (through the grace of mysterious benefactors, cause he ain’t marrying anyone unless he’s paid the right price) and get ready for a life of being surrounded by military men in the north of England while your husband tries to fuck everything that moves. Work that out somehow with him and you might actually be happy. 0/10.

Mr. Bingley: He is a softboi who will do literally anything his friends tell him to do. He is SUPER rich, and marrying him will throw your sister’s into the path of other rich men and he is REALLY into you, but get ready to be sucking up to his sisters for literally the rest of your life. Unless he can ship Miss Bingley off to live with Mrs. Hurst, have fun trying to wage a war of barely concealed insults over the breakfast table every morning, and if you’re marrying Bingley I’m sorry but that is a war you just cannot win. He doesn’t have a job but he does have five thousand a year, and neither of you can manage money. You’ll love simply and deeply and be happy as any two can be. 8/10.

Mr. Collins: Last resort to rescue yourself from a life of being a burden to your parents until they die and then having to become a governess or something. Has a job but never shuts up about his boss. You will have to rearrange everything in your house according to his boss’ will. 2/10

Mr. Darcy: Is a anxious disaster who doesn’t know how to talk to girls at parties and needs to learn how say no to going out when he’s just not feeling it. He doesn’t have a job because he’s a landlord; he owns half of Derbyshire and has ten thousand a year, but turns out that all of that money and land can’t buy tact or charisma. Doesn’t know how to flirt and thinks he’s doing a great job (he’s not). He’ll propose to you out of the fucking blue one day by insulting literally everything about you, but don’t worry! Reading his letter unlocks Darcy 2.0. This patched version gives him humility, a personality, and he WILL gain the ability to rescue your family from utter ruin. Marry him and enjoy a life of luxury and witty ripostes, but beware! You ARE going to have to deal with Lady Catherine until the day she dies, not to mention Caroline Bingley’s barely concealed contempt every time you meet in polite company. Darcy 1.0 3/10, Darcy 2.0 8/10.

Captain Wentworth: Absolutely top tier. Has a job, has earned everything he has, including a fortune and the respect of his peers, superiors, and subordinates. His sister and her husband are practically the only happily older married couple you know, his friends are super fun and nice (even the dour one with all the poetry knows how to have a polite conversation). If you dumped him ten years ago on the advice of your almost comically shitty family yeah, he’s going to hold a grudge, but he WILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU and the MOMENT he gets over his pride will do everything and anything in his power (including leaping the bounds of propriety!) to win you back. Based on his love, money, and connections you should RUN, not walk, into his arms TODAY and allow him to rescue you from your family and whisk you off to see the world on his ship, at least until Napoleon busts out of Elba. 12/10

Mr. Eliot: Will lose all your old schoolfriend’s husband’s money in a bad deal, has debts out the ass, might be trying to get with either you or the woman your dad has been flirting with for the last few years, you’re not sure. Is totally ruining the rekindling relationship you’re trying to get going with your far superior ex. He wants the land and title your dad has and will stop at nothing to get it. Marry him and you can move back into your old house (maybe? it’s a little unclear what with all the debts) but have every single cent your mother left you immediately put into some dumbass scheme. 1/10

Henry Tilney: another softboi who just wants to act in the school play while his dad and brother plan to ship him off to military school and berate him for not joining the football team. Bring him shopping with you to pick out dresses, spend long nights over tea chatting about books. Has a job, but again, only because his dad owns the land the church is on. Loves you even though you have some very strange ideas about his house, and will forgive you when he realizes you thought his dad either murdered or imprisoned his mom. If he can find the courage to tell his dad to fuck off and let him live his own life, expect a long, happy marriage of snuggling together in a window seat somewhere, sipping tea and reading. 9/10

John Thorpe: Trash bastard man. Peaked in whatever equivalent of high school he had. Shitty and rude to everyone, would post racist memes on facebook and start fights if he could, all while being shitty and manipulative and CREEPILY possessive of you. -2/10

Robert Martin: A sweet himbo farmer who just wants to love and worship you. He has a job, is pretty rich, and while his connections may not be above his class, he’s an earnest boy who wants to take care of you and be taken care of in turn. Marry him the first time, absolutely do NOT let your friend influence you against him, because who KNOWS if you will get a second proposal! (You will, he likes you THAT much.) Marry him and enjoy a sweet, simple life of exactly zero drama (unless your friend is around). 7/10

Mr. Elton: Trifling gold digging trash who doesn’t know what the word no means. Do not marry, unless you want to be censured by decent, hardworking people -1/10

Frank Churchill: Knows how to have fun, but you know there’s something more going on. He won’t let you see his letters, he sends out secret notes, then he smiles and tells you that everything is totally a okay. Another boy with ANOTHER overbearing aunt, only this one doesn’t know how to say no. Marry him if you’ve got the money, but he will always be longing after the poor girl next door that auntie wouldn’t let him married, and would have cheated on you already if she was into it. 3/10

Mr. Knightly: He’s your brother in law and you’ve known him almost your whole life, so that’s a little sus, but he is also the ONLY person in your entire life who knows how to tell you no (and you really, REALLY need to be told no sometimes.) He is extremely wealthy, but more importantly he’s kind and caring about people who are considered “beneath” him. He will break his weird no dancing rule to dance with your shy friend, he will ream you out for being shitty to unwed spinsters who value your opinion, and somehow has the correct read on everyone all the time. You will gain no connections by marrying him, since the two of you already have the exact same connections anyway, but the two of you should be content in a test of wills that will last a lifetime. You’ll be very happy as long as he doesn’t get super pedantic and start correcting you about everything. 7/10

#jane austen #pride and prejudice #persuasion #sense and sensibility #emma #mansfield park #northanger abbey #mr darcy #captain wentworth

[theblondebondd]

anyways here's a hot take about sharon's ending in fatws ( which, to preface, i hate, so im not justifying it )

we would've never gotten here if the mcu fandom hadn't pushed for it so much, specifically peggy stans and hayley atwell / hayley atwell stans.

to clarify, you all spent years saying that peggy wasn't just steve's love interest, that steve needed to move on, etc, but when steve moved on to sharon ( who btw is his ACTUAL soulmate and has been for 60+ years, not miss " emotionally abusive bigot " 616 peggy carter ), you turned it into a " steve is PEGGY'S man " / " PEGGY is steve's girl " argument. it was y'all that diminished her to that, AND you diminished sharon to that in the process ( because mind you, in terms of things canon to the mcu anymore, sharon did a hell of a lot more in ws + cw than peggy did in tfa, especially for steve ).

you harassed emily vancamp, you signed petitions to get sharon written out of the mcu, etc. YOU GUYS and *only* you guys, made it clear that you didn't want steve to be with anyone if it wasn't peggy or bucky. so then they sent steve back to peggy ( because let's be real, disney was NEVER going through o make stucky canon ) and then all of you complained that " it took away peggy's choice / authority / story / arc / etc ". YOU DID THAT TO HER.

you told marvel that the one person they were trying to set steve up with wasn't good enough, especially compared to peggy, so they gave you what you wanted and then you complained about it like brats because it wasn't ACTUALLY what you wanted, you just wanted to hate on sharon because she wasn't peggy or natasha, as if multiple badass shield agent women can't coexist.

after civil war, the rise of sharon hate grew exponentially with people claiming she MUST be a villain, or that she " feels " evil, or that she was clearly manipulating everything. and again, you harassed emily vancamp and you encouraged hayley atwell's vile behavior with cheers and laughter, and it got so far that they literally had to pull sharon and evc from the films for *five years.*

and now she's back. and again, because of the narrative that you guys perpetuated - that she was evil, a villain, manipulating everyone around her - that's exactly what marvel did. you said she was just a love interest so they did the opposite. and you STILL hate her. emily vancamp is STILL being harassed over the role. and when i say it's majority peggy fans, it is, because the only people i EVER see talking about how terrible sharon is are ones saying she " doesn't live up to queen peggy's legacy ". and while this might not be all peggy fans, im sure some of you are wonderful, it is a whole lot of you.

and now, after getting what you wanted AGAIN, you're complaining about how it " ruins peggy's legacy ". hate to break it to you miss peggy carter was not a good person, no better than sharon as the powerbroker. she hired multiple hydra agents into her organization for operation paperclip ( including zola who was skull's literal right hand man ), gave them completely free range and was oblivious enough in her own organization to let that run free. which means she either allowed it to happen or was an incompetent enough leader that it was able to.

second issue? the fact that she was the director of shield the ENTIRE time isaiah and that group of black men were being tested on, tortured, killed, beaten, and anything else that happened. shield was the most influential government establishment in the mcu pre - winter soldier, not to mention the fact that they're generally known for handling enhanced beings. there's ZERO POSSIBLE WAY she did not know about what was happening. which means she was, again, either an incompetent leader or a racist ( like she is in the comics ). because him being in prison for 30 years means it had to have been a prison that could contain a super soldier, could test competently on super soldiers, and had the ability to erase everything about him. *aka shield.* so either ALL OF THAT happened right under her nose or she stood back and let them do that to him.

sharon didn't ruin peggy's legacy. peggy didn't have a legacy being a good person to begin with. which is FINE because she's a government agent, but it's absolutely NO excuse to use her " golden accomplishments " to justify your vile treatment of sharon carter and it never has been.

#marvel #sharon carter #agent 13 #emily vancamp #peggy carter #anti peggy carter #anti hayley atwell #hayley atwell

[dontbipanicjonsa]

Did Kit suddenly lose his ability to heart-eye or is Pol!Jon actually a thing.

I'm late to the fandom but I just finished S7 and I'm having thoughts.

I'm a reader of the books, and I hadn't watched the show till now because... I suck at watching shows with hour long episodes and more than three seasons.

What made me decide to watch it was the Pol!Jon discourse I found on the Internet.

I know enough about the show to understand how unlikely and out of character this theory would seem to show watchers. At the same time, I fully believe that book!Jon would be fully capable of something like this. But also, even though I do ship Jonsa in the books, I can't deny that Jonerys is.....a big deal. Everyone expects it to happen. It's a highly anticipated pairing and....I just couldn't honestly believe Pol!Jon because it is just so against the general expectation.

So I decided to watch the show. And now I've finished season 7 and I am astounded.

Let me preface this by saying that I went into S7 already disliking Jonerys (sue me) but I still fully expected to have some serious doubts about the validity of Jonsa. I fully expected to be at least somewhat convinced of Jonerys. Even hating the idea of Jon and Danaerys together, I still expected more.

There are a number of things I would like to note here.

First, Jonerys is a romance that is told, not shown. Davos talks about Jon watching Dany's "good heart" (hehe) to tell us Jon is attracted to Dany. But then Jon immediately dismisses it- and not in a way that looks like he's deflecting. He's not only dismissing it, he's dismissive of it. His mind is not in the conversation, it is beyond the Wall.

Similarly, Tyrion says (not in those words), "yeah right, and Jon only looks at you longingly coz he wants a military alliance with you". Not sure what I'm supposed to think about that....? First, Jon doesn't look at Dany longingly at all???? Not once. Second, is this line supposed to suggest that Jon is looking at her longingly for a reason that is not desperately wanting a military alliance....? Because we already know that that's exactly what he does want. Wtf do I make of this statement?????

There are other examples, but the point remains. People keep talking about Jon and Dany being into each other, and that is what is supposed to convince us that they are into each other (well yea Dany is) but Jon gives no indication of looking at her longingly, of falling in love with her, of being intrigued by her even. He's a brick wall.

Alright, I'll concede one (1) scene where I saw legitimate attraction on his face for a second- that is the cave scene. Even there tho, it's hard to tell if he's just watching her reaction carefully or if he wants to bang her.

On the other hand, Dany shows that she is into him. Even so, when I say she's into him, I mean she's attracted to him and intrigued by him. I cannot believe she loves him.

Next, I think it's interesting that in the episode before (or was it the same episode?) Jon bends the knee, we have a number of people (Tormund, Beric) talk about stuff like- kings not bending the knee leading to people dying, knowing what's important (the fight against the dead), being the shield that guards the realm of men blah blah I don't remember the exact words. Then he sees the WW and the Army of the Dead (again) and sees a dragon die. And then, the first opportunity he gets, he bends the knee. I want to point out here that the scenes really emphasise on Jon's thinking face after every conversation he has during their little gay party beyond the Wall. They focus on the look on his face again while he's watching the Army. Multiple times. And there's clearly something going on in his head, gears are turning.

One other scene that struck me is the scene where Jon and Dany are saying goodbye to each other (the Eastwatch episode). In the same episode (if I remember correctly) Jon calls them strangers, and then the goodbye scene comes and Dany says to Jon's little morbid joke, "I've grown used to him". Him being Jon. Two things to note here-

One, Jon considers them strangers but Dany has gotten "used to him". Maybe it's nothing, or maybe it's an indication of how the two of them are absolutely not on the same page (about anything).

Second, Jon's face after she says that. It shuts down. Like a door slamming. And then he says that "wish you good fortune in the wars to come" line, which has ZERO romance, or longing, but a whole lot of bad precedent (does that make sense?). Ouch. The thought that occured to me here is that Dany is being somewhat obvious about her feelings, and maybe, just maybe Jon has picked up on it. And that is why he reacts the way he does.

I wasn't sure so I compared the scene with the Jonsa forehead kiss scene in S6, and Jon's expressions after that kiss.

My logic was this- I assume that either Jon has become aware of Dany's feelings in the Eastwatch goodbye scene, or his own feelings for her. One of these assumptions is true. Which one?

If Jon has feelings for Sansa, then his confusion/awareness/discomfort regarding that are seen in that forehead kiss scene. So if Jon has become aware of his feelings for Dany, let's see how these two scenes compare?

My dudes. There is no comparison. Go watch it.

I watched both scenes with sound off, and the difference is insane. Jon looks at Sansa's lips. There's a moment's pause that's full of tension, and then his face shuts in a way, but it's a bit confused, a bit thoughtful.

Jon does not look at Dany's lips. He does not look confused, or thoughtful. This is not a romance.

Side observation- speaking of showing and telling, it's funny how we're shown Jon looking at Sansa's wolf bits, and told that Jon looks at Dany's good heart. Yes I'm talking about boobs but wolf bits and good heart is funnier. We literally see Jon look at the wolf bits twice, talk about it himself, in a completely unnecessary conversation...as opposed to being entirely dismissive of the good heart, even when someone else brings it up.

Back to the main point, one last thing I'd like to talk about is the scene where Jon actually bends the knee (not really). First, there are still no heart-eyes. Definitely not from Jon. Second, it's funny how Jon uses the exact hand-grabbing move that Sansa used on him last season, when she was trying to convince him to do something he didn't particularly wanna do (like he's now trying to do with Dany). This means that

1) he learnt that move from Sansa. He knows how effective it is XD

2) if the Jonerys hand-grab is romance, it stands to reason that the Jonsa hand-grab is romance too. I mean both the grabs are suspiciously similar.

Then, even after Dany "promises" that she'll help the North fight the WW, Jon still bends the knee. I felt both an odd sense of urgency coming from him, and an understandable hesitation. Or maybe that's just me.

Now suddenly, he becomes complimentary of her. But there's something weird about his compliments. They are completely generic. "They'll see you for what you are" and in the later episode, "you're not like the others". Wtf does that MEAN ??

Here's the thing...Jon could have paid Dany a way more specific, genuine sounding compliment after bending the knee (complete with heart eyes). I mean she did just fly over the Wall to rescue him and his men. He could have said more, something meaningful, but he didn't. He bent the knee like a house on fire (that doesn't make sense but you get what I mean I hope) and paid generic compliments. Then he pretended to sleep until she left and then sighed very loudly.

??? Romance??? WHERE????

Then the dragon pit. Heart-eyes still missing.

Then the sex scene. What do I say? Lol.

No really. There are no heart eyes even during the sex scene. Honestly, idk what that face was. Not in love for sure.

Another side note- Arya and Sansa have talks while standing in the same place where the forehead kiss scene happened (wtf do you call that place again, the bridge.??) But no heart eyes. No lingering looks. There is no incestuous gay love between them, I can say for sure. All it does is prop up the odd incestuous vibes of the Jon Sansa scene in that same place.

ANOTHER side note- goddamn but does Sansa talk about Jon a lot.

Edit: I'm sure most of this stuff has already been discussed in other metas. My purpose here is only to put down my first thoughts after watching the season.

#jonsa meta #jonsa #political jon #pol!jon #dark dany