#what the fuck are you doing bruce

[kamwashere]

whoever runs the verified batman account in instagram needs their ass ate cause these are hilarious

#10000 CRIMINALS TERRIFIED IS CRAZY #365 days that would have been better with alfred #NOW WHY DID THEY GAG HIM LIKE THAT #you sent the joker once and for all 9 times 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HELPPP #he’s getting out almost every month #what the fuck are you doing bruce #THE GENRES ARE SOOOO 😭 #gcpd scanner 😭😭😭😭 #amazing #topnotch #no notes #they go to the good omens school of social media marketing #batman #bruce wayne #the joker #tagging this as batjokes because why not #batjokes #dc #kamwashere

[breadandblankets]

au where the bats manage to stay urban legends, sure other heroes know of them, but they help largely from the shadows, they aren't put on display and they're hardly known at All outside of the strange circle of gotham's goons

that changes when duke thomas stares batman down and says on no uncertain terms that he's working day shift

the signal is Gotham's first confirmed superhero, and he wears a bat on his chest

social media goes Wild fighting over whether the Batman existed all along or if someone finally got the tech and powers to make the bat (or a bat) Real

suddenly the world of superheros feels a lot more real to the citizens of Gotham who got used to horrible disasters being either ignored or neatly cleaned away from the public eye, now there's a guy getting thrown through windows and helping grannies cross the street and the war between gotham and metropolis gets even more cut throat

#duke thomas #bruce wayne #batman #batfam #bread talk #i think it would be very interesting if social media invents some beef between superman and a literal 16 yr old #that would be So fucking funny #to me #not to them #they have to do like pr and publicity things to be like nope we are sure friends and he's like my step foster father once removed #and u know what #tim drake #lmao #thats for me #batfamily #you know the general Thems

[spectral-honey]

AU where Jason gets his revenge by becoming a lawyer and getting joker sentenced to the death penalty

Bruce is conflicted about it but any time he tries to say anything on the subject Alfred just talks over him like "oh we're so proud of you master Jason you finished college and you didn't even use your father's extensive resources that could've easily gotten someone in this family a degree aren't we so proud master Bruce that Jason got himself a respectable profession--"

#jason todd #red hood #batfam #i also think it would be funny if thats literally the only thing jason does as a lawyer after that he just goes back to being a vigilante #everyone on the internet is like 'the iconic career of jason todd wayne: came back from the dead got a college degree got the joker- #-sentenced to death (finally) and then immediately fucked off to do whatever the hell it is he does for fun' #any time bruce and jason disagree jasons like 'excuse me which one of us is the college drop out and which of us is a practicing attorney?' #alfred 'you could have been a doctor but you became a furry themed vigilante instead' will never let this go #also btw jason just stole reasources from the league to get thru college. maybe at first talia was like what & then jason was like #'my alternate plan was to either get bruce to kill the joker or kill all three of us in an explosion' and talia is like #'okay. have fun at school sweetie' #BTW AN EDIT: this post is not reflective of my IRL beliefs about the criminal justice system or the death penalty #IRL those are way more complicated than gotham city/the joker/jason make it out to be #saw a few people tagging this post mentioning stuff about that

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Bruh emotional support ghost kid? Well thats what they are calling him

Suicide cases in gothem are about to fucking plummet boiz cause this one weird blue eyes, black haired boy is now heading to your location.

How does he know where to be? Having a bad day and are all alone? No the fuck your not cause don’t turn around now but theres some shiny blue eyes coming at you from that dark ally. Oh shit hes here to drop some information about you and your lost loved ones that he should know. Oh god the closure. How could you have been afraid on this sweet, creepy, boy who just helped you find your way.

Meanwhile Danny is chillin in Gothem cause the GIW hate it there (none of they equipment actually functions in Gothem so it’s either super haunted or actually not haunted at all). Then all of a sudden he gets approached by a random ghost begging for his help because their sweet baby girl is about to do something horrible. Oops now all the ghosts are following their most loved ones around just to make sure they are there to rush to Danny for help when all else fails. Now hes getting to fulfil his protection obsession double time because one hes helping protect people from themselves and two hes protecting everyone in Gothem by stopping people from becoming villains for revenge. Plus he gets to see first hand how hes making a difference because all those people he saved are sending him some good vibes from all across Gothem.

Thank god he followed Jazz around so much to slightly absorb some of her phycology knowledge over the years. Plus it was actually pretty interesting so she gave him her old text books. Shes also helping him deal with the rare events where he can’t save someone. Just a moment too late or he stops them but they later succeeded in the hospital. Neither are his fault. Now only if he could convince his core of that.

Anyway why Gothem you ask? Amity Park would have been just as good tbh but imagine Batmans face when he finally gets to be face to face with the emotional support ghost boy. Why is he here? Bruce is fine. Batman is fine. Hes not gonna do anything crazy. It’s just a hard time of year. Around their death always gives him grief. But hes an adult and can manage it.

“You know they are so proud of you.” The boy states. As if it’s clear as day, even though it’s Gothem and never a clear day. Batman blinks at him, stunned for a moment. “What?” This boy can’t possibly know that. No one will ever know that, Bruce can only hope. “They see their home, full of such life. That big house that felt so empty, so cold, to them as well for years. Then you filled it with Family and Love like they had always wanted for you. They are so proud of what you have turned it into. Somewhere full of life and warmth.” A small smile graces his face as finally “you have made your parents so proud” and its all he can do to contain himself. Emotions are running high and sue him because he really did need to hear that ok. The boy suddenly looks to Bruces right with a confused face “aren’t all basements like that though?” Before Bruce can even get a word in hes gone. Just vanished before his eyes.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #dpxdc #dp x dc #batman #I just wanted to write danny walking up to the buggest toughest batman and make him cry tears of relief #danny is helping his subjects find closure while always feeding his protection obsession #let him be interested in his sisters word #also god imagine bruce just having a bad time of it cause is the anniversary of his parents death #than the ghost kid just walks up and tells him exactly what he needed to heat #yes they are proud of the word batman does #he knows he has saved lives #but what about him as a father #would his father be ashamed of his parenting skills #would his mother be discusted at how he treats his children #he always remembers his parents as good parents so he wants to do right by them by also being a good parent #anyone can risk their life for another but few can be a good father #actually it’s easy just love your kids and sont walk out and leave them with an insane bitch of a mother #dad im lookin at you #and dknt marry your fucking step sister dad #isnt our family tree circle enough. why must u follow in grandmothers footsteps #at least with him is marrage related aye? #oops im rabling about my daddy issues teehee

[noxcheshire]

HOT TAKE

But I like the idea of the phantom world being reincarnated into very unexpected people.

Like I still love the idea of Danny being Martha or Thomas.

Or Dani being another clone, or her being Damian, and Sam being Poison Ivy and or Martha, etc.

But I also like the unhinged nonsense of Sam being a clone in the dc world — ideally Kon, and Dani (or Dan) being Bruce, while Vlad is gasp Thomas Wayne.

HEAR ME OUT

JUST HEAR ME OUT

I just think the idea of Danny finding out that in an alternate world he married a nicer and age appropriate Vlad and had the son the guy has been demanding for so long in their world is hilarious.

The absolute mental breakdown that boy will go through: this is my son, and I love him, look at him go being a hero and kicking ass, but holy fucking Ancients above I fucked VLAD —

And on the other hand, can you imagine Bruce’s reaction? To his alternate mom being a sassy teenage boy, his alternate dad being an older guy ‘preying’ on this kid that absolutely HATES the guy, and being an absolute creep while his alt self **gestures to your choosing** is either a tiny girl menace or the biggest and meanest growling ghost that is BARELY tolerating being in the same space as the living.

But they also hate his alternate dad and would punch him into next week with Mom! Danny.

This man will being going THROUGH IT.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #danny phantom #dp x dc crossover #danny fenton #dp x dc prompt #batman #I’m kinda leaning into Tucker being Starfire #I just think he deserves to blast green powers #and also be the hottest girl he’s ever seen #I’m thinking maybe Jack Fenton is Dick Greyson #still debating on the others BUT DO YOU SEE MY VISION? #DO YOU SEE WHAT IM PUTTING DOWN? #GIVE THE ENTIRE DP SIDE OF THEIR UNIVERSE TRAUMA by seeing what they could be in an alternate world of themselves #Danny is going through it too #Vlad is not seeing the picture outside of the absolute joy he has at finally having a son that is just like Danny but without the clones #Vlad: finally! I have a son! And he has your blood Daniel! #Bruce: oh my god my dad is a creep #Sam judging Kon’s everything: you’re on thin fucking ice #she likes his fit but will fist fight him over what he eats and how he acts with his crush #Either Tim is Paulina or Valarie #Sam is judging Kon’s choices

[silent-wolf]

sometimes i forget the batkids are just a bunch of theatre kids which makes it funnier when u remember that gotham's entire justice system is run by a bunch of costumed role players

edit: wtf i didnt expect this to gain sm traction, but check out this post. pls dont let it flop

#u best believe these losers have memorised every song from mammma mia #imagine explaining to ur penpal the absolute cesspool that is gotham and when they ask about what the police does #and you have to say #oh ! those fuckers dont do anything we have costumed freaks #that are dressed up as different animals and zipline across the horizon and beatup other costumed freaks! #fucking crazy #bruce wayne #batman #batfam #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #cassandra cain #black bat #tim drake #red robin #damian wayne #robin #duke thomas #signal #stephanie brown #spoiler #barbara gordon #oracle

[spacedace]

Found this old snippet and don't really remember of the context for it outside of being a joking exploration of how weird the Fenton/Phantom family tree would seem to outsiders (not even getting into how relationships might be classified differently between the human side & the ghost side)

Anyway gonna drop it here as a prompt lol

Mind the quick reference to dismemberment, there's no gore or detailed description and no one is actually hurt, it's more there for comedic effect, but still wanted to give the heads up on it 👍

---

Nomad motioned to the towering, vaguely vampire-looking buff dude with literal flaming hair what the fuck, “Dan, this is everyone. Everyone this is Dan. He’s my…” Nomad trailed off and blinked, a look of confused befuddlement on her face as she let the sentence hang for too long.

“Huh…” She said considering, looking up at vampire-dude, Dan apparently, with a confused furrow on her brow. “You know this is the first time I’ve ever had to try and explain our relationship to each other and I’m drawing a blank and what exactly to call you. Uncle? Dad? Brother? Like, I think you could technically be considered all three.”

What the fuck did that mean??? Kon snapped his attention over to meet Tim’s masked gaze, the look of wild confusion Kon was sure was on his own face mirrored there. Around the meeting room confused and worried looks were being shared by the rest of the League. Which like, yeah, what in the Habsburgs was happening here for all of those terms to be applicable?

“Well, you’re Danny’s Mirror, so if you consider him your dad then it stands to reason I’m also your father.” Dan said, hand coming up to his - literally flaming, how did that work? - goatee thoughtfully.

“Yeah but like, I call Danny dad just to piss Vlad off.” Nomad countered, toying with her severed arm with her still attached hand. Kon didn’t think he’d ever get over how casual she was about being literally disarmed and just…not caring. “And I definitely don’t see you as a dad. Uncle?”

The giant of a ghost shook his head with a frown, “Implies that Danny and I are brothers, which could work but gives our relationship kind of a weird vibe. I feel more like his father than anything.”

“Gramps, then?”

“No.”

Nomad laughed, “Fair, wouldn’t want to take the title of Grampa away from CW. Besides we’re both half Vlad, so I think brother works best here.” She frowned, looking thoughtful, “Maybe half brother?”

Dan considered, “Half-brother could work. Though it gives Vlad more credit than he deserves.”

“Oh come on, can you imagine the look on his face if we went in together on suing him for child support?” Nomad asked, fanged grin wicked. Dan’s face lit up at the idea, and Kon felt like they were rapidly heading towards the two ghosts running off to go and go torment whoever this Vlad guy was rather then them help deal with the current demonic problem at hand.

“Can you please explain what any of that means?” Kon asked, more a squeak than anything else. He was starting to get a headache.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #dani phantom #danielle phantom #elle phantom #elle's hero name is Nomad in this one because why not lol #dan phantom #kon el kent #kon kent #connor kent #tim drake #justice league #Elle & Dan just having a very weird concerning conversation about how to define how they're related to each other #& accidentally invoking imagery of European royal families terrible marriage practices #If Bruce wasn't on the verge of trying to adopt the sassy ghost girl *before* all this he absolutely is now #Kon thought his family dynamics were fucking weird but now he's just grateful he doesn't need to use a chart to explain it #what do you *mean* you're older sister could also qualify as your grandma & your older brother is kinda your dad?? #And who the FUCK is Vlad and why does it seam like he's somehow responsible for all this? #even the demon they pulled Dan in to help with has stopped what he was doing in vague horror and concern for what's going on here

[deadsetobsessions]

This is based off of that one tiktok from @sorruna where it’s the audio from Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse.

——

Dick Grayson was a sneaky, intelligent little shit.

He was also dumb. These things are not mutually exclusive.

To this day, one of his best kept secrets- one of the many, many that he had now- was something he’d take to his grave.

Or to Jason’s grave, at least.

Dick sat down and began telling the story to ears that would never truly hear it.

——

Batman’s voice rumbled behind him as Dick, in his Robin suit, stood blankly on top of a roof.

“I know you snuck out last night, Robin.”

Dick froze, train of thought about his dinner derailed. Holy busted, Batman! Quick! Play dumb!

“Who’s Robin?” He asked, the years of performing in front of a large crowd coming to save his ass.

Not that dumb!

Batman sent him a dry look, reprimand already poised on his lips. Dick, however, was nothing but a good performer. Nay, a dedicated performer.

Quick! Do something out of character! He shouted at himself, panicking visibly. He stepped backwards, an idea appearing in his head. In his defense, it sounded like an amazing idea at the time. He had no idea it would blow up into a Justice League issue. If he had known… Dick would have lied better, probably. There was no way he was going to let B bench him for weeks!

“Who the fuck are you?!” He yelped. Dick apologized mentally to Alfred and his parents. Batman paused, stunned.

“That’s my question. Who are you?!” Bruce asked, immediately hostile. His son doesn’t curse. Well, not in any normal way anyways. Dick quickly backpedaled by yelling at him with a heavy Vlax dialect, missing his parents terribly as he screamed stranger danger in rudimentary Romany. After this, he was going to have to convince Bruce to get him a language tutor. He refused to forget one of the only ties he had left to his parents.

“Wait, wait- you’re my son.” Bruce replied back, in perfect Romany. He looked more convinced but still skeptical.

“My dad is a circus performer! Not a flying rat!” Dick screeched back. He couldn’t help but feel touched about Bruce seeing him like a son.

“Oy! Keep it down out there, you assholes! Some of us like our sleep, damn!” A random Gothamite screamed out of their window.

“Yo, shut the fuck up! The vigilantes are helping to keep the rent low, motherfucker!” Another Gothamite shouted back.

….

Needless to say, Bruce quickly brought Dick back to the cave- with precautions to make sure he didn’t figure out where the Cave was if Dick was actually someone else.

——

“You would have loved it, Little Wing. B was running around like a headless chicken. The memory loss protocol was actually made because of me, you know.” Dick chuckled, sniffling as he talked to the carved gravestone.

It did not reply.

——

The blood tests came back. Yeppers, Dick sarcastically thought, who woulda thought I’m me?

Reinforcements were called in.

Meaning, Batgirl.

“Watch him while I contact Justice League Dark.”

“You think it’s magic?” Barbara asked.

“Yes. There was no one else near our vicinity that could affect Dick like this. He has no head wounds.”

“Eesh. Okay, go. I’ll watch him.”

Bruce disappeared in his zeta tube, looking harried. So, to everyone that’s not a Bat, he looked absolutely terrifying.

“What did you get yourself into now, Boy Wonder?” Barbara sighed. Dick was careful to keep any signs of recognition out of his face.

“Stop calling me that! Where are my parents?!” He asked back. Barbara coughed and looked uncomfortably away.

That’s right, Babs. I’m pulling out the orphan card. Feel bad. Dick hid his feral grin.

“They’re… uh, busy.” Busy being dead, Barbara thought, immediately wincing at her own thoughts. Apparently, Dick thought the excuse was lame too, and he sent her an incredulous look.

“Would you like refreshments, Master Dick?”

“What?”

Alfred held out some cookies on a platter, giving Babs a quelling look as she tried to reach for his share.

“Oh, wow, these are really good!” Dick said as he shoveled cookies into his mouth. He tried to replicate the reaction he had when he tried these for the first time, and from Alfred’s satisfied look, Dick nailed it.

——

“Robin doesn’t remember who he is.” Batman rumbled as he all but dragged Zatanna and Constantine by the scuff of their jackets towards the zeta tubes.

“Hey, wait-”

“We have no time.” Batman snarled, tossing the two magic users into the zeta. He punched in the destination.

When they got there, he glared at the two magic users until they got into the cave.

“Damn, Bats. Really living up to your name, huh?”

“Not bad,” Zatanna said as she looked around.

“Robin,” Batman- Bruce- reminded them. He did a quick glance over to check on his kids, and found them satisfactorily uninjured. Though, Barbara was looking worse for wear. Bruce quickly found out why as she stalked to him.

“You deal with him.” She muttered. “I’m going home.”

Bruce blinked and nodded. “Get home safe.”

Zatanna and Constantine followed Batman as he walked towards Robin. It was odd to see the normally laughing child frown.

“It’s you! The kidnapper! Where are my parents?!”

Bruce winced which, for him, was akin to a full body flinch and recoil. No wonder Barbara was so tired.

“Fix it.”

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist, Batsy.” Constantine grumbled.

“Well help, Batman. Though… I’m not sure if he should be doing that.”

Bruce sharply turned his head back to where Dick was. Emphasis on was. Because now, he’s halfway up the giant dinosaur the Robin had insisted they keep.

“Robin, get down from there!”

“Stranger Danger!” Dick hollered back.

Batman- Bruce Wayne- sighed.

“That’s high level magic,” Zatanna hummed. “I can’t feel anything, but I know for sure that he won’t die. Magic like that either dissipates naturally or…”

“Lasts forever,” Constantine finished.

Bruce groaned, shooting off a grappling line and swooping upwards to catch Dick as he fell from the giant dinosaur.

——

“I pretended to get my memories back later,” Dick chuckled. “And pretended to forget the whole thing. Bruce was so relieved that I stopped knocking things over and trying to do cartwheels in high places that he totally forgot I snuck out.”

Dick patted the headstone.

“But between you and me? I’m pretty sure Alfred knew. I think B pissed him off that week.”

#y’all is the Romani language spelled Romany #idk if im reading that wrong but did you know the Vlad dialect is the most widespread? #nightwing #dick grayson robin #dick grayson #dick grayson’s gaslight gatekeeper girl boss moment #Bruce Wayne #Batman #Batman and the trials of parenthood #google what to do when your vigilante child seems to have forgotten that he’s a vigilante #Batman using the magic Justice League like a wiki how #minors angst disguised as crack #also my favorite thing to write is brice and dick coping by talking to graves #but not actually talking to the grave’s owner who is actually alive #dick gets better about it #Bruce? not really #English is the fucking worst #Jason Todd #jason Todd’s grave

[introspectivememories]

goddd i just know that tim never takes off that fucking necklace. and you know bear doesn't have that much money so tge necklace was kinda cheap and it wasn't anything the bear meant for tim to wear regularly it was just like a keepsake y'know? wear it on a date or a nice outing. maybe when they're both home together. but tim is practically feral over it. like straight up refuses to take it off. it's turning his neck green at this point and everybody is soo done.

#bruce who's allergic to anything under $10000000 breaks out into hives everytime he sees it #bruce trying not to gag: sweetheart what if we replaced it? bernard wouldn't even know! #tim: if you try to replace my necklace i will leak that video of you pole dancing at the penguin lounge #bruce who's had worse things leaked: do it #tim 'backup plans for my backup plans' drake: i will send talia a compilation of you drunkenly rambling about how much you love her #bruce: .... okay you win #dick gets it #your first gay relationship does that to you #bear is a little worried tho #🐻: you know you don't have to wear it right? you could take it off #tim trembling and shaking: you don't want mw to wear it? 😢 #🐻 immediately caving: no no! wearit as long as you want!! #dude even ra's gets in on it #ra's going over his master plan: so you see detective i will then- what the fuck is going on with your neck #tim seething cause he can hear his siblings laughing at him over the comms: shut the fuck up #dc #bernard dowd #tim drake #timber #timbern #could not stop thinking about the ra's scenario yesterday. kept making myself laugh

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 217

Babies can die if they don’t have enough physical contact. This is something that is known, but Talia does not have time to spend with her twins, and it’s not like she carried them thanks to the false Lazarus womb, so she didn’t even have that excuse to use. 

What she did have, was a near braindead teen who could be taught things through muscle memory. 

Which is how Jason ended up caring for a pair of toddlers between any training, even after his dip in the Pit. Well, he cared for them until he left for Gotham, to enact his plans, even if he continued to call them every week. 

But that wasn’t enough for little Damian and Danyal.

Where had their caretaker gone? Away from them? Where is Baba? Across the sea? Unacceptable. They will not stand for this! 

Which in turn, is how Jason discovers his the twins outside his safehouse window, having somehow made it to Gotham on their own- what the fuck, kids!?

#DCxDP #DPxDC #Prompts #Dad Hood #Jason can’t even go to a meeting without the kids clinging to him & are willing to cut off a hand or two #They’re even more ecto contaminated then the rest of the League of Assassins #Danny might not have all the powers he has in canon but he’s still Liminal as Fuck #The bats when investigating Red Hood after the Duffle Bag Incident find out he has a pair of small children #Who are very clingy & who he is very protective of #Also who he speaks to in League Dialect- TALIA ANSWER YOUR PHONE #It’d be hilarious if Talia refers to Jason/Hood as OUR son & now Bruce is spiraling because WHAT DO U MEAN TALIA- DON’T HANG UP- #WHAT DO YOU MEAN OUR SON-

[bruciemilf]

HAVe YOU thought about chubby baby Jason?? Like he's this sweet round cutie pie with curls? and slight freckles on his little button nose??

EVERYDAY.

You CANNOT convince me Bruce wouldn't dot on him 24/7. Pursuing him to actually leave his baby's side in order to do, you know... Anything else is a losing battle.

Additionally, Bruce's reputation as recluse is practically gone.

Baby Jason loves wobbling around the dog park, convenience stores, Gotham Academy halls when Bruce brings Dick his forgotten lunch.

It's not out of the ordinary for the billionaire to lightly jog after that screeching little cherub baby; It's the cutest sight.

Like a cat tracking down it's wild kitten. Or at least, that's how Clark Kent eloquently describes it in the newspaper.

Baby Jason is just as clingy to Bruce, thought.

He wouldn't hide in Batman’s duffel bag, in the Watchtower, otherwise.

It's the first time the league sees Batman actually, truly terrified.

"Turn this around."

"Batman, our mission cannot he annulled. I-- oh. Yes, Jason, I would love to see the bug. Yes. Pretty bug."

Jason coos, setting the little thing free, and makes grabby hands for his dad, who picks him up so fast Clark nearly misses it.

They just can't fathom how this sentient ray of sunshine is related to their Bat. But Bruce is a natural at it.

The only problem with Jason being here is that A) Jason is here.

B) Bruce cannot and will not stop kissing his chubby cheeks, which postpones a lot of their work. Not that they mind. Clark certainly doesn't.

Oliver, something furious and familiar smoking behind his mask, pulls Diana and Clark over.

" Okay. Which one of you did it?"

"Uh, what?"

" I'm not a toilet, so don't bullshit me, boyscout. Which one of you is responsible for THAT,"

He gestures to Hal projecting butterflies in the lunch room, so Jason can chase them. For once, Bruce doesn't look like he wants to burn him to dust. Clark tries not to let that bother him.

"WHAT."

"Amazonian, kryptonian, -- I'm not leaving options out. But my bet is on Diana."

#bruce wayne #batdad #battinson #dc comics #jason todd #baby jason todd #fluff #the justice league #clark kent #oliver queen #i love big brother ollie i really do. how dare you knock his little brother up?? do you know what that does to a person. #bruce:... think again. #ollie:youre fucking a kryptonian and THATS out of question? #text

[mishy-mashy]

Bruce is actually really attractive, and I have enough reasoning to make a list

He's:

Tall (. Tall enough to hit his head on the vault doorframe)

Long-legged

Has a straight nose bridge

Has high cheekbones (more noticeable in 2nd pic below)

Has a strong jawline

Sharp eyes, but they aren't small (plus eyebags if you're into that)

Overall, he has strong, attractive facial features

Has broad, refined shoulders. You can tell he works out (or he did, when he was alive)

Even has a thick, muscly neck

He has MUSCLE. Is SCULPTED. NOICE. VERY NOICE. (nice arms. Nice shoulders. Nice neck. Nice legs. Nice butt-)

(There are actually panels where you can see some of his muscles. Other than those already shown here, he's got bricky thighs-

-and in the panels where we first get his name dropped, he's got those shoulder blades too-)

The one time we see him smile, and he actually has a scary one

Has small, kinda sharp pupils, and his eyes remind me of a cat. We only ever saw him tense or defensive, so his resting/listening face is really cute

Other than the physical appearance stuff, he also:

Takes shit without batting an eye (patience, knowing it's just how Kudo is, etc)

Kudo being all "Cut the crap Bruce and give it to me straight", after Bruce tests his blood and is rightfully Concerned because they just faced AFO

Put up with Kudo's experimenting and testing over Yoichi's transferable Factor

Did ya'll see the look on Kudo's face when he realized he had Yoichi's Factor/will? Kudo was going to start in nonsense and Bruce just dealt with that.

Also something I noticed when looking back at the images here; Bruce has bandages on his arms in the void. But not when he faced AFO in the sewers.

Were he and Kudo cutting their arms open in their experimenting over Yoichi's theory? Is this why Kudo has two gauntlets instead of his one? Why we never see his bare arms in the void? That he always keeps his arms down so there's no slip?

Is smart enough to run blood tests, plus has enough common sense to pick Shinomori as his successor

He picked a guy who avoids society, has an Ability to detect danger so he can always stay away from AFO, is also a coward so he's never going to go throw himself into danger, even without knowing instinctively he stands no chance, etc.

Meanwhile, Kudo chose Bruce, who he played Hot Potato Yoichi with; but he did also trust Bruce, and put the only pure combative Ability in OFA through Bruce.

These two made their choices based on what they valued and saw the Factor needed.

Is logical, analytical, and calm.

He tried advising Midoriya on their Abilities in One For All, especially his own.

Midoriya then tried ignoring him about using Fa Jin for the first time, but found he was right, thinking: "Dammit!! I had [Lady Nagant] right where I wanted her, but... ugh! The Third was right. My parallel Quirk processes are all screwed up!" (ch. 314).

Plus, when Midoriya fixed his processing mistakes, Bruce was analyzing the way he reached his new conclusion. Pure facts, no bias, very calm, just saying it as it was.

We never see him panic. When he's caught by surprise in the sewers by AFO, Kudo, and Yoichi's little bubble event, he immediately reacts. He doesn't falter, he just knows he has to do something right now.

Was more willing to listen than Kudo to Yoichi's beckon, and probably was just following Kudo's rejection of Midoriya

While we don't see Kudo's face, we see Bruce's eyes when Yoichi calls on his heroes. Bruce was more open and receptive, or at least more impacted.

Bruce was also the one to start talking, while Kudo just kept quiet.

He actually communicates a lot

When Yoichi called them to support Midoriya, Bruce started talking to paint a picture of why they thought the way they did, so Yoichi understood where they were coming from.

(Though he seems to beat about the bush sometimes, since Kudo spoke up to be direct on how they couldn't just put their trust in some starry-eyed teenager. Plus, when Kudo tells him to just tell him what's wrong [double Factors])

When Midoriya first used Fa Jin against Nagant, Bruce came out just to tell him he knew what he was trying, but that Midoriya wasn't ready; and Midoriya found he was right. Midoriya just didn't want to listen to him then.

He asks Kudo for clarification after finding Kudo had two Factors in him after the sewer incident ("Just to be sure, All For One didn't touch you, right?") Kudo knew him well enough to go "stop beating around the bush and tell me", so Bruce was probably gonna start with questions, theories, and trying to understand everything in general, before saying "yeah you have two Factors. Don't know why".

Is strong-willed and loyal.

He followed Kudo, even to death, carrying on the cause he started until it ended with him.

Plus, when talking about how AFO needs a strong will to override OFA's own, we first see Bruce, Kudo, and Yoichi.

AFO couldn't steal OFA because the will was too strong for him, and that was back during Banjo's time. Since Shinomori never actually tried opposing AFO and just hid, we can assume the first Three (Yoichi, Kudo, Bruce) already had an accumulation of strong willpower that made OFA un-stealable. Those three are a strong enough foundation, and the main wills, that the other users just become bonuses.

Kudo, also saying that Midoriya needs allies with the same will and drive as him... hey Kudo, you're talking about yourself and your old allies, aren't you? That's why you look at Yoichi and Bruce when you say this.

Not only is Bruce attractive, but he's got good character. THE END.

#yes this is a bruce appreciation post #am i biased? yes. am i right that he has these features? also yes. #hes actually a very attractive person. hes got all the right features for it #plus hes smart (some medical knowledge) is really loyal strong-willed and patient #he puts up with kudo SO much #from being bossed around to taking home yoichis brother to whatever the heck kudo made him do to figure out OFA's transfer properties..... #i didnt think much of bruce originally #then i started doing resistance fic stuff and now hes a fave #hes a little blorbo #that i throw in terrible situations for my own entertainment #used his scary smile for comedy purposes #like when he made a kid cry once. or when a meta child was afraid of him so they bit him #has patience to deal with kudo and co. but also. has enough bite to snark them. is how i like writing him #oh? background character? well lemme just *picks him up* EXPAND ON THAT- #fic stuff: he tries making a good impression on a girl and kudo is ruining it immediately #he doesnt know what to do because the two always banter #kudo: fuck you #oc: fuck me yourself you coward #he sees through a rose-lens that kudo is trying to rip off his face #appeciation kinda turned analysis in general #bruce #kudo #yoichi shigaraki #bnha #mha #spoilers #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #NOT YOICHIS BROTHER. i meant Yoichi / AFO's brother in a prev tag up there but theres too much tags i dont wanna rewrite to fix that #(image limit and tag limit)

[robintherobiner]

need more de-aging fics.

specifically i need everyone finding out Dick was an angry murder baby or realising just how obsessed with Dick Tim was.

#batfam: awww i bet dicks going to be so cute and sweet! #baby dick: BRUCE. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ZUCCO IS STILL ALIVE. #batfam: okay we have to be careful not to freak tim out cuz he has no idea who we are #baby tim: omg Dick Grayson. i have framed pictures of you on my dresser. i dont care how i got here i just want a hug oh my gosh!!! #do you see my vision #dc comics #dc universe #batman comics #batfamily #batfam #tim drake #dick grayson #de aging

[batarangsoundsdumb]

#this logic is perfectly and completely sound #bruce also seems like a kind of 'its not gay if you keep your socks on guy' #and a 'no listen i didnt do it bc im gay- i fucked that guy so i could gather intel' kind of man #alfred: intel on WHAT exactly? #bruce: shady dealings in the edible glitter business #i feel like ppl would and also wouldn't buy it #tabloids would be like 'oh yeah totally sound logic mr wayne sorry for doubting your sexuality' #whereas all of his friends and family would be like 'cmon man.... you limp wristed loser' #bruce wayne #dc #dc comics #oh yeah happy pride and shit

[spacedace]

Fuck whatever DC is doing with the al Ghul's characterizations and story lines, I've decided that from now on the al Ghul's are gonna be DC's version of the Addams Family instead.

Now I don't mean just give the various al Ghul's the exact personalities of the various Addams and call it a day. That's boring, that erases all the interesting parts of the al Ghuls, that's just using "find & replace" and not actually adding anything. I mean give them the vibes of the Addams Family.

Keep the al Ghul's as the al Ghul's with all their scheming and machinations and world domination attempts but give them all the unhinged energy, the casually insane view of the world, the deranged levels of love and devotion for family. Make them that group where objectively they are batshit insane but also you cannot argue with the fact that they are indisputably the most stable and functional family in the entire universe.

They're creepy, they're kooky, they're mysterious and spooky. Ra's many opulent homes and impenetrable fortresses are a museum and the al Ghul's really are a screa-um whenever people come to see-um (or when they lay waste upon their enemies in a surprise attack that has been planned for months and is just the first domino in a series that will ultimately lead to achieving a far greater goal).

They all love each other and want each other to be happy, they express this primarily with stabbing and murder attempts (its fine, death is a thing that happens to other people).

And forget the League of Assassins being a cult. Just make the whole vast globe spanning organization a collection of cousins/aunts/uncles/dear old friends ect. No one (not even the al Ghuls, if they cared to keep track of such things) is sure who is actually related to them and who just got absorbed into the ever expanding family tree based on their vibes being right.

(Is Sensei Ra's father you ask? Well he's certainly someone's father - probably.

Anyway have you heard about Cousin Cheshire? Despicable poisoner of a young woman, capable of the most horrific things imaginable - yes she is the sweetest dear. Like I was saying though, she just had a baby!

Everyone in the family is just so excited to throw a baby shower to celebrate! Ubu has really gone all out with the spike traps, he does so love getting to welcome a new addition to the family.

Talia of course has cultivated a brand new strain of the most toxic plants imaginable to make a brand new kind of necrotizing poison. You know, as a nice little romantic gift for Cousin Cheshire and that young man of hers. It really is so important to make sure you take time for you and your partner to go on dates and have a few pitched battles to the death on dark rooftops in the pounding rain when you have children.

Now there is some to-do about it all of course, you know how family get together can be. Everyone is arguing over who should get to give little Lian her first weapon and what it should be. Nyssa is pushing for grenades but Ra's is insisting on a sword - he's traditional like that you know - but Dusan has the vote so far on throwing knives. You know the kind that have the little divots along the edges of the blades them to make it easier to get the poison you dip them in to stick.)

I'm just saying that the al Ghuls should be a delightful cross between the Bond Villains they were originally conceived as and the lovingly unhinged Addams Family. It just feels correct in my heart.

(Again keep the interesting aspects of the characters and the nuances of who each of them are like their drive to save the world through destroying humanity and their strong environmentalist leanings and their constantly playing 5D chess and everything, but like, take away the racism and the cartoonishly evil for no reason bullshit and give them some fun feral energy to go along with it).

#batman #ra's al ghul #al ghul family #talia al ghul #nyssa raatko #cheshire dc #sensei dc #no more racism and fucked up dark family dynamics #the al ghuls aggressively adore each other #violence and schemes is their love language #in the full au version of all of this i'd like to imagine how canon plot points change with the al ghuls having these vibes #Just imagine Damian still trying to kill Tim when he first ends up in Bruce's care #but instead of it being a ploy to get rid of a threat its because he's just so excited to meet one of his big brothers #and attempted murder is just how you tell someone in your family that you love them #Tim just SO CONFUSED because Damian is talking so animatedly about how happy he is to get to have some brotherly bonding with Tim #while ACTIVELY trying to run him through with a sword #idk how things change with Cass exactly but i feel like they would in this #like either David Cain isn't an absolute monster or the al ghuls catch wind of what he's doing & are like #This is NOT how al ghuls treat family! what is this shameful behavior! She can't even insult you while you fight! #fighting and violence is a perfectly healthy way to express your love but only if there's actually LOVE involved! #The Heretic & other Damian clones still get made but only because Talia just misses her son so much that she makes more of him #Nyssa has just been bopping around the world for a few centuries & pops up every now and then to have a death match with her baby sister #i just have a lot of strong feelings about the al ghuls deserving better and combined that with the vibes of my favorite unhinged family #Dick still hates Talia but Talia takes all his insults as her darling step son telling her how much he loves her #which only drives Dick even crazier #Tim rocks up to the League of Assassins during his whole trying to prove Bruce is alive thing already seen as an al ghul #Oh yeah that's Cousin Timothy he's one of Talia's kids - never met a truer al ghul in your life #You see how he blew up all those bases? Ra's cried he was so proud #Ra's spoils his grandkids absolutely rotten which is giving Bruce SO MANY gray hairs

[alicewhitmore2]

So hear me out

All of Bruce Wayne's adopted children are biologically his and none of them know.

At age 20, Bruce was traveling Europe and saw the Flying Graysons in a circus. Who wouldn't say no to a threesone with two hot older acrobats?

A few years later and Bruce has been slutting his way through Crime Alley.

A few years after that and he's been going through the richest people in Gotham.

Years after that and he's in an assassin phase.

Despite knowing of his own history, Bruce never does paternity tests on his children. It's a combination of knowing if his kids found it, they would freak, and not really wanting to know himself. The only kid he's almost sure is his is Tim, they look so similar but they also have similar personalities and hobbies, hobbies he knows Tim's parents didn't foster or encourage. Still, he refuses to check.

Years later, a random kid of Bruce's comes into the picture (personally I'm picturing Danny Fenton but it could be anyone) they just walk in on a family dinner when everyone's home and drop the news that they're Bruce's kid.

"Mostly I just wanted to make sure we all know of each other. Man, the family resemblance is strong in this family, you have strong genes Bruce."

"We're actually adopted!"

"Oh... you didn't tell them?"

Bruce: (knows exactly what he means) What do you mean?

"Oh my god. No that's impossible, you have to at least have suspected. You have to know that they're all your kids"

"What is he talking about Bruce?"

Kid pulls out articles, gossip rags and one rare European magazine, detailing the times and dates of Bruce being seen with their parents.

Imagine them demanding paternity tests. Imagine either Jason or Dick or both shoving Bruce against a wall having Charlie Day moments like "DID YOU FUCK MY MOM BRUCE"

Imagine the devastation of them thinking Bruce only took them in because they were his biological children.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"Can you honestly say, any one of you, that if I told you the truth, you would have stayed?"

#i might write a fic for this #I'm including Cass too #dcxdp #dpxdc #bruce wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #cassandra cain #damian wayne #damian realizing he's not the only blood son and that breaking him #look ages in canon are so fucked #this could totally work #what do you think?